#a very loose interpretation of an actual fact at best | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mokulule · 1 year ago

Text

The Number You Have Called Cannot Be Reached - Part 9

First|Masterlist

Ship: Dead on Main (Danny/Jason) Warnings: angst, depression, canon typical violence.

Jason was not angry he was frustrated. There was a difference. A distinct difference that Jason knew very well.

Ghost kept running. He would steal a thing. Evade some goons, cause he often stole from the rogues. Then evade some bats, lead them in a new direction, sometimes changing overall direction mid chase, there really was no rhyme or reason to it.

And then, when Jason showed up, he’d invariably be standing on another rooftop and disappear. All the while Jason could feel his longing and sorrow, a call for help he wouldn't let Jason answer, and it was frustrating and confusing, but mostly frustrating.

Because Jason was not angry.

He may have snapped at Dick, when he made a joke about his princess being in another castle, but he hadn’t actually laid hands on anyone. He made sure nobody made the mistake of touching him.

He ducked his head, never stuck around and ignored the looks he got. Worry, pity, wariness, Jason flip-flopped how he interpreted the gazes. A loose canon, that’s what they thought he was. But Jason was not. His chest burned, but Jason was not angry. Because he knew the difference, between himself and the pits. He knew. But they didn’t. They didn’t understand and Jason could not explain - not without him sounding unstable. There was no way he could explain things and keep cool. They wouldn’t understand that he kept away for their sake. At best he’d be benched.

Benched, a bitter voice mocked, locked up and thrown in Arkham more like. Criminal, murderer, crazy.

He shook his head. Pushed the thoughts away. He couldn’t allow himself to be benched. He needed to catch Ghost - to make him listen and explain just for a moment so he could understand what was going on with him and the pits.

As long as Jason didn’t cross the line, they wouldn’t try anything. He had to believe that.

Oo o oO

Bruce was at a loss.

If it wasn’t for the fact that Jason hadn’t pointed a gun at any of them, Bruce would have thought they’d gone a year or two back in time. He was tense and curt and kept himself at a distance. Always out of reach.

It wasn’t like he joined their patrols regularly normally, but he could usually be counted on if something big was going down. Now Bruce wasn’t so sure he’d want to ask him if something happened. It seemed like he was nearing breaking point and Bruce feared what way he’d fall.

The thief, Ghost, was at the center of this. Something was going on there, but it was like he was missing crucial information. Jason was downright frantic to catch him.

Danny Fenton. The name was still a dead end. The DNA sample useless. His contact at Star Lab had gotten back to him and informed him they’d had a break in weeks ago, before the thefts started in Gotham - nothing had been stolen, the invisible perpetrator had been found out because of the electromagnetic disturbance his stealth tech gave off, or rather that was what their reports said. The recorded disturbance matched the readings they got off of the Ghost.

It was quite possible there were many more unrecorded thefts before the Ghost came to Gotham. He’d already informed Tim and watched him pale from the realization that they actually had no idea how far the Ghost was with what he was building. If building something was indeed what he was doing with the eclectic mix of parts he’d stolen. Tim had a theory, that much was obvious, but he was not at a point where he felt he had enough evidence to share it.

When Bruce had told him of the Star Lab incident, he’d glanced towards where they’d stored the spectral calibrator, before his shoulders had forcefully relaxed.

Bruce was no slouch when it came to technology, but mostly when it came to operating it. He could infiltrate systems and extract information fine, but it he was honest, the kids were better, and since he rarely worked alone these days, he didn’t get as much practice - he wondered momentarily if this is what it was like growing old.

It was something he’d never expected when he set out on his mission as a young man, growing old that is.

Besides while Bruce had designed a fair few gadgets in his time, and assembled the Bat computer himself back in the early days when it didn’t have near the capabilities it did today, he was not an inventor. Lucius was the one who’d made his more fanciful ideas workable in the early days.

And now he had all these talented kids.

It didn’t matter most of them were adults, they’d always be kids to him. Here he went again getting distracted.

He rubbed his forehead. Point was, Bruce couldn’t see what the parts could be used for but Tim could. And it was something that worried him, which in turn worried Bruce and like always these days his thoughts circled back to his worry for Jason.

He’d given him time, like Dick had said - three weeks so far in fact. And instead of things calming down they’d become worse. The Ghost’s continued escape was winding Jason up, there were no two ways about it. They needed to capture him.

Bruce had to be honest with himself, if it wasn’t for Jason, the Ghost would be very low priority for them. He wasn’t hurting anyone, just a thief. Before the day Jason had tackled the Ghost on the rooftop, he had been low priority. Amusing in fact, with the way he riled up Damian with his continued escapes, it had been low stakes - safe in a way many of their missions weren’t.

But now, Tim was working frantically on ways to capture the Ghost, they’d tried nets of various materials (some even Martians had trouble phasing through) with no success. Barbara was still trying to unearth more information from the phone, also with no success.

Steph and Cass had been steadily and stealthily working on changing the cameras throughout the city connected to Barbara’s network to ones with better filters and built in detectors for electromagnetic disturbances over a certain threshold - a very bothersome process since most of the cameras technically weren’t theirs and had to be indistinguishable from the originals and send visuals to the real owners of the same (low) quality they’re used to in case somebody decided to take a closer look.

Damian was giving him long looks, when he thought he wasn’t noticing. He was hiding something and he’d been sneaking off on his own. Bruce was trying to convince himself to leave it alone. He’d nearly lost Damian in the past because he was too controlling.

Trust, it was something he was trying to practice but it irked at him not to know. What if he got in trouble? He had to forcibly remind himself, it was most likely that Damian was just sneaking off to some wild animal he was hiding and nursing back to health.

Duke had just gotten back from a three month exchange program abroad, he would have to be caught up to speed. Maybe his abilities would give them some additional insight.

Hopefully.

Oo o oO

Jason was not angry, he was livid. Ghost was on another rooftop. About to do his disappearing act, again again again.

“Come back here!” He yelled.

Fear not his own hit him in a sickly yellow haze. He gasped and struggled not to throw up. Ghost was gone again. Of course he was. His one chance and-

“Jason…” the words were quiet, barely audible, Bruce. Jason grit his teeth. Bruce was a fucking hypocrite saying his name in costume like that.

A step forward was heard, a purposefully made sound to announce his approach, and Jason spun.

“Don’t touch me!” His guns were pointed at Bruce. He stood frozen, the hand he’d no doubt been reaching toward Jason was pulled back. It served him right.

Jason didn’t trust him. He should shoot him, teach him not to get too close. He knew Batman’s armor, he knew the weak spots. It would be easy. A rubber bullet wouldn’t kill, but it would hurt.

Jason wanted him to hurt; like he hurt.

He wanted-

He couldn’t remember loading his guns tonight. The realization struck him like a splash of ice water. Rubber bullets or live ammunition?

He didn’t know!

He followed the aim of his still raised guns, pointed at his dad’s chest, the armor could only do so much at such a close distance.

Real bullets or rubber?

Jason took a step backwards in horrified realization. It didn’t matter. Not at this close range. Both would be lethal. He knew that. He knew guns. Why had that even been a question? Why was he still pointing his guns at Bruce?

A wounded sound escaped his throat and he turned and ran.

He’d crossed the line.

Poor Jay, huh? Can Danny keep escaping the bats? Will Jason be okay? Tim POV next time, we're in serious need of a plan here, come on Timmers.

I no longer tag people, please subscribe to the masterpost here to get notified when the story updates.

#Jason is catnip to Danny #dead on main #dp x dc #missed connections #we will eventually get to a Danny pov #the family drama is just taking up space

563 notes · View notes

matan4il · 6 months ago

Note

Hello! What kind of power does the recent ICC statement hold, and what kind of precedent will the arrest of Netanyahu and other several high ranking members of the Israeli government set? I'm genuinely frightened, as I can't imagine that the consequences will be anything but utterly disastrous

Hi Nonnie!

Honestly, I've read and heard so much about this topic, I will do my best to convey what I've been exposed to and processed, but keep in mind that I am not a legal expert.

First, I just wanna point out that for the time being, the ICC's chief prosecutor Karim Khan has only asked for arrest warrants against Hamas' leaders and Israeli ones. They've not been granted yet.

Second, a short explanation on the difference between the UN's two international courts.

The ICJ (International Court of Justice) is where states can be "judged" and "be sentenced," with some judicial outcomes having more real life consequences than others. This is upheld through conventions these states are signed on to (apparently, this is somewhat problematic, because it means the judges are not necessarily using established laws, rather they go by loose and open to interpretation statements that exist in the conventions), while the ICC (International Criminal Court) can only be used to prosecute individuals, not states, for their own crimes that they personally committed or oversaw.

The ICC's record in actually bringing major human rights violators to justice is... rather poor. It's not very good at getting these leaders extradited, so the court can put them on trial (because it's really easy to not travel at all to avoid extradition, especially for a wealthy tyrant who got rich from their war crimes, or to only travel to countries the criminal has reason to believe won't extradite him... shall we talk again about South Africa not extraditing Omar al-Bashir when he was on its soil, despite being responsible for countless murders in his country of Sudan?) and then, even on the rare occasion when they do get a leader extradited and put on trial... more than one ended up being exonerated by the court. Most people prosecuted there are NOT brought to justice.

In the case of Israel, it is NOT a party to the Rome Statute, which established the ICC. It initially wanted to join, but then had reason to believe the ICC might end up being used to wage political warfare instead of justice. I think seeing this proves Israel was right. BTW, the US ended up not being a party for the same reason. The ICC can only investigate and prosecute for 1 of 4 possible crimes (genocide, crimes against humanity, war crimes and crimes against peace. This means if you want to prosecute someone at the ICC, you HAVE to accuse them of one of these crimes, giving people motivation to make false accusations if need be), and only if that person's own country is "unwilling" or "unable" to do so.

That means Israel has several reasons to point out that the ICC's chief prosecutor is abusing his power: Israel not being a party to the Rome Statute means he has no jurisdiction over us (which means Israelis prosecuted will not even "get to" appear in court and plead their case, because as subjects of Israeli law, they can't recognize the court), it has not yet been established beyond doubt that any of the aforementioned crimes has actually been committed (how do you prosecute someone for a murder that might not have been a murder?) and lastly, Israel as a democratic country has an independent judicial system, which is both willing and able to investigate and put on trial its leaders (this is demonstrated by the fact that several of our past leaders have been put on trial, some even found guilty and imprisoned, and that our current prime minister, one of the two Israeli men the ICC is targeting, was and still is on trial in Israel, and is under threat of imprisonment).

On top of that, there's of course a few more signs that point to the prosecutor's behavior not being "kosher." For one thing, there's the fact that by requesting arrest warrants against Hamas' Sinwar and Israel's Bibi and Gallant, Khan created a moral equivalence between Hamas, the antisemitic, genocidal terrorist organization, which we KNOW carried out on Oct 7 (as well as before and since) war crimes, crimes against peace and crimes against humanity, and the elected leaders of a democratic state, waging a defensive war started by said genocidal terrorist organization. There's also the fact that Khan was supposed to come to Israel for the stated purpose of collecting evidence, but he canceled the trip, and made this move instead. What is he basing his request on, if he hasn't completed the measures that he himself thought were necessary to have a proper idea of what's happening here? This is also a precedent, because this is the first time ever when a democratic state's leaders are prosecuted by the ICC, something that as an idea shouldn't happen at all, since democratic countries have judicial systems willing and able to prosecute their leaders.

Now as an idea, if the ICC prosecutes individual Israeli leaders, not states, that shouldn't have an influence on Israel as a country. In reality, it does.

Because the prosecutor's move creates this false moral equivalence between Hamas' leaders, men responsible for insane death tolls for both Israelis and Palestinians for decades through their violent, extremist, genocidal antisemitic ideology and corresponding actions, and Israel's leaders, who are waging a defensive war, in which Israel is providing the enemy controlled territory with water, electricity, humanitarian aid, does its best to differentiate between civilians and terrorists, and even has a legal team to make sure all orders and struck military targets comply with International Humanitarian Law. This moral equivalence plays into every anti-Israel lie and dehumanizing propaganda, and enables the antisemitic wave we've been seeing around the world, so this is def gonna affect Israel for the worse, not to mention Jewish communities everywhere.

But it will also have consequences for Israel as it's painted as more and more of a pariah. "Why did you overstep your own jurisdiction and prosecute a democratic country's leaders?" will get twisted around to "this is proof that Israel is not a democracy and is committing war crimes!" which will make many wanna stay away from us, even though they'd be wrong. If Israel does become more and more shunned on the international stage, not because of actual crimes, but due to public perception, then this can hurt its financial, commercial, scientific and cultural ties. Basically, anything that requires international collaboration can be hurt, and the people who will pay the price will be the regular people in Israel. Ironically, this might also come back to bite the regular Palestinians in the ass. The Palestinians have never done anything (not under Hamas and not under the Palestinian Authority) to develop their own financial system, independent from Israel, so when Israelis will suffer financially, so will the Palestinians. The regular ones, the Hamas leaders and terrorists will continue to enjoy the donated money and stolen humanitarian and financial aid.

Lastly, the ICJ in its case against Israel (submitted by the same South Africa which has failed to extradite al-Bashir, and which enables its own political party guilty of genocidal chants) might be able to now quote Khan's request as "support" that Israel is committing a genocide. Just notice the possible loop between these two courts. The ICJ will take years to decide on this case, but in the meantime, can decide on provisional measures, which will punish Israel as if it has already been found guilty. The ICC, as an idea, is supposed to rely on the ICJ's findings and not prosecute anyone on a crime that hasn't yet been determined to have happened. But by requesting these warrants anyway, the ICJ can rely on the ICC to justify even further provisional measures against Israel.

This is a mockery of justice, a political weaponization of courts against a democratic state whose greatest crime is being misjudged based on the same ignorance and hatred that in the past have led to the type of genocide (against Jews) that these courts are meant to help prevent.

(for the record, several states have condemned the prosecutor for its moral equivalence of Israel and Hamas, but they also seem to understand that this blatant violation of some core principles regarding how the ICC is supposed to operate means that one day, that court can be used against others, too)

Footnote: Khan has never prosecuted anyone for crimes committed in other human-created disaster areas, including Bangladesh, Myanmar, the Philippines, Afghanistan and Venezuela, despite investigations there, and to the best of my knowledge has never ordered investigations into other areas where HUNDREDS of thousands have been murdered, such as Yemen and Syria, or regime leaders whose states sponsor global terrorism, like Iran.

Yeah, one day people are going to look back on this and try to figure out how the ICC and ICJ went so terribly wrong.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

151 notes · View notes

luthordamnvers · 24 days ago

Text

I still think I need to watch the entire show again, but I'm gonna try and collect some very scattered thoughts because the ~discourse is appalling, tbh.

Idk who needs to hear this, but every single marvel project has been about the widening of the marvel cinematic universe. And it's fucking insane, that people are reducing this show as "just a way to get Wiccan" when it was so much more, especially for a show that wasn't even supposed to exist. It was a show spearheaded by a showrunner who initially pitched it because she loved Agatha, and Kathryn's portrayal of Agatha. One that happens to be a woman, btw (one that happens to had been at the forefront of both Captain Marvel [Uncredited] and been responsible for the first past of Black Widow [Story by, credits]).

Don't get me wrong, the MCU certainly has misogynistic undertones, the fact that we had to wait to have a woman led movie, or a movie director, as long as we did is a travesty. That without even going into the intersectionality that we are still missing in the wider MCU. And one that's inherent in the comic book world, if we are being honest. But guess what, THIS is the type of show that changes that narrative.

The fact that wandavision is still regarded the best Marvel-Disney+ show. So good that got an spin off focused on "a nanny". Show that delivered on a show being about her, and yet not the entire story, with outstanding narrative, direction and storytelling. And some swats of fandom are diminishing it left and right. The dudebros because it was about a woman, about a middle-aged woman, about a queer middle-aged woman. And others in the fandom because it wasn't as queer as they wanted, or focused on what they wanted.

And let's be honest, I'm amazed the show was as unapologetically and canonically queer as it was. Thanks to the efforts of Jac, Kathryn and the team behind it.

Agatha is based on a character that's been around for 50 years, and has being nothing but a nanny/governess for superpowered kids because she happens to be a witch, until relatively recently. Even when we had had part of her back story for decades, she was never that important, and she isn't even evil. Dare I say, she hasn't been that relevant until her run with the Scarlet Witch, and Kathryn Hanh's interpretation of her.

Agatha All Along, is not only an spin off of Wandavision, but also part 2 of the whole story. OF COURSE, Billy would be a very important part of her story, something that was touched upon in WV, but was also part of her (and I'm using this word very loosely) redemption arc.

She shared a kinship with Billy in WV, because he was magick. She wanted to understand how he worked, because she knew what Wanda did, and she wanted Wanda's powers. The fact that she could identify Billy immediately, even when she hoped it was Nicky, was important, but people were to busy whining about Billy having an episode. One episode that was also relevant to the ending of the show. And the full arc of the saga's mythology.

Is the show perfect? Not at all. Did I enjoy the heck out of it and can appreciate what it actually did? Absolutely yes. Can I appreciate how GOOD it was at storytelling? Hell yes.

It was a show absolutely centered in women. Good women, bad women, women of color, old women, younger women. The one man was a queer, three-year old in the body of a 16 year old. And mind you, this character has been making queer history, since his very recent creation (2005). This show is unapologetically queer, we had a huge ass Trans flag that said Protect trans kid in huge black letters being very prominent in the shots. It's HUGE, and not even by marvel/disney standards. The show had nothing to do with coming out, or acceptance, or people dealing with phobia. It was about queer people existing and being queer. Hell, you could make a case that they were saying "being a witch" is an allegory of being queer.

Every single member of the coven could be queer. They hinted at it with Jen, at the very least.

Let's talk about the rest of the coven. Who for me were the absolute highlight of the show.

Alice, generational trauma, the protection witch. The most tragic to me. She saw her curse, as a lie. As something her mother made to neglect her. And yet she couldn't keep a job, she resented her mother, and she had to be reminded of her every moment because her mom was a famous Rockstar. She goes to the road, she comes to terms with her mom's love for her, how her mom's version of the ballad was a protection spell, as much as Alice hated it, and she manages to defeat her curse. She protects her coven. Only to immediately die. Her dialogue with Death was devastating:

Alice: That's it? That's all the... That's all the time I get? Death: If I had a nickel... Alice: This can't be the end. It has to be the beginning. I finally broke the curse. I mean, I can really do something with my life now. Death: You're a Protection Witch. Alice: Yeah. Death: You died protecting someone. You ready? Alice: No.

Heart wrenching, unjust, and beautiful.

Lilia, who was plagued by the gift/curse of seeing her and others destiny. Ignoring it for over half her life, staying stagnant, because she was reeling from the fact that she saw the death of her family, her entire coven, she told them and it changed nothing. She was chased out of villages because she could see the tragedies coming. Who refused to be with a coven, love a coven because the heartbreak of losing her first was too much. Who decided that cheap tricks, was better than seeing the tragedies coming, and refused her gifts. She hated the appropriation of her culture, but when the time came, she accepted it, and moved on. She goes to the road, and finds her coven. "I needed you, my coven." And she died, going back to the start, because she'd rather relieve it all again, the good, the bad and the ugly, that keep neglenting herself. "I loved being a witch".

That without going into the absolute masterpiece that was episode 7. Pulling a non-linear story, as solidly as they did, is certainly not easy. And they did it, beautifully.

Jennifer, who was magick-bound for over a century, to the point that she doubted her knowledge and herself. And yet she made a name for herself, she was a successful entrepreneur (she cheated a little, but you know capitalism is the true villain here). A black woman who was outstanding at her craft, healing and being a midwife, to the point that she became an inconvenience to the fragile, egomaniacal, white men in the medical field. Where they sought out a way to stop her indefinitely. And yet she kept going, and survived. Even at the end of the road. She looked at the person who bound her, and said: "I deny your power over me. You hold nothing." And she unbounded herself, and got out. Not because of Billy or even Agatha but in spite of her. Jennifer survived, just like she has been doing for however many centuries, and she flew towards the sunset. Because 'She's the path ahead'. The growth she had, from being selfish the first few episodes, because that's how she survived, to screaming for Lilia when she decided to stay behind. Jennifer clawed her way out of the road, the bound. And she deserved it.

As for Billy... he's so much like her mother. He accidentally created the road, because he's equally, if not more, unaware of his powers as Wanda. Wanda at least thought she got powers from Hydra's experimentation. Billy isn't even supposed to exist. Billy who was "10 years old" but, realistically like 2 weeks old. Who got thrown into the body of this guy, who he doesn't know, and who doesn't even knows himself, because he doesn't remembers, with powers he doesn't quite understands and then he starts piercing moments of his life together, because he feels this massive hole in his being. And finds his answers on Agatha. He truly believes the road is real, that can take him to someone who while not have the answers, might feel the same way as him. Who was his other half, he doesn't remembers it, but he feels it.

His magick, is like Wanda's, Chaos magick, it manifests without his real knowledge or intention, but by his feelings. He created the road, with all the knowledge he thought he had, the road follows the rules Agatha and Nicky created when they made the ballad. Even if he doesn't know it.

Is the show about Billy? Not necessarily. Billy is important to Agatha, because Billy is Agatha's son now. Not by blood, not even by magic, but by choice. As much as she denies it, her "calculated risk", had something to do in the way she saw Billy, and how she wanted to protect him, in a way she couldn't protect Nicky.

And finally, Agatha. Agatha who built a reputation of killing all her covens. Starting with her mother's. Because her mother sentenced her to death, because she was born evil. And she took that and ran with it. She connived, and betrayed, but she survived, something she's extremely proud of. Do I wish we had seen more of her past? 100%. I wanted to know how she got the Darkhold, how she actually met Rio, how they fell in love. Does not really knowing diminish her storyline? Not at all. Because what we got was really nuanced, and it's going down the hill with people focusing only in the romantic relationship aspect. If anything, I think this is being reductive of Agatha, not Billy. The fact that she needs the love interest for people to focus on her, regardless if that love interest is a man or a woman.

But even then, what did people think it would happen? Agatha Harkness had a romantic relationship with Death itself. It was never going to be a romance, it was always a tragedy. Death who took her son away, Death who gave her time with her son, but never specify how much time. Who then followed her around, torturing her with its presence, and we know Agatha is resentful and can hold a grudge.

Death who kindly stopped for her.

Rio knew Agatha would always resent her, even when she gave Nicky more time, because at the end of the day, she would always had to take him away. As much as it was a kindness to let him be born, to take him while he and Agatha were asleep. She had to take him anyways, and Agatha would never forgive her.

Agatha letting the witchfolk think that she exchanged her son for the Darkhold, or made a deal with Mephisto, and saying it was because "the truth was much worse" had nothing to do with *our* perception of worse. But hers. A powerful witch who couldn't save her son, a woman who couldn't keep her son alive. A witch who let her lover take her son away. Using her son to lure more witches. Then using the song, that her son lovingly created for themselves, to lure even more witches to their doom, just for her to be more powerful and keep living (and potentially still looking relatively young). A song that was special to them, corrupted, because she wanted more power and killing witches, something she knew Nicky didn't like. Witchfolk thinking Agatha got the Darkhold trading her son, was better than what she thought of herself.

She saw Nicky in Billy, how he didn't like killing witches (as accidentally as Billy did), how he mourned, how he somehow still believed in Agatha, even with his barbs at her.

She sacrificed herself, not necessarily because of Billy. But because of Nicky, her boy she couldn't save. And yet here is another boy she loved, not the same but very similarly, one she could save.

Billy didn't manipulate her, (and even if he were to, Agatha would probably be proud of him for that) he's been consistent in wanting to understand Agatha. He's curious. Hell, he didn't even need to come back for Agatha, he had gotten out (wherever out was for him) but he came back, because he cared about Agatha. And if some people can't see that, because he happens to be a he... well, no matter what had happened in the show, those people wouldn't see it any other way.

Agatha becoming a ghost, and immediately seeking Billy, because she loves him, and she likes the way he sees her, not good or innocent, but knowledgeable, and with the potential to do good. And she sees Nicky in him, and his potential too.

There is so much more analysis, and I might share more thoughts later, but for now, this is it. I still wanted more, Agatha's story with the Darkhold, the Salem seven, more of the coven, yet not necessarily for the show or the episodes to be longer, but I would love to see if they expand on this, on another spinoff.

#text post #agatha all along spoilers #nicnic rambles #jumbled incoherent thoughts #I just needed to get some of this out because fandom's response is driving me crazy #media literacy found dead in a ditch #I loved this show and y'all mememes will do so much noise that studios won't want to do more stuff like this anymore #deep and compelling #and will want to just focus on white straight men with their superiority complex only again #anyways

64 notes · View notes

euovennia · 2 years ago

Note

I am yet again requesting headcanons for the 141 (or whoever you want <3) with a reader who has an angry resting face. And to add onto that, they are very expressive with their love but it comes off as aggressive (not on purpose) because they always look, you know, mad. Like when reader says "I love you," it sounds like a threat and really, they look like they wanna kill them, but they don’t.

whew, i'm so sorry for the wait on this! i took a small break from tumblr so i could focus on finishing some assignments i had for my classes, but they're all completed and turned in so i should be good for now! also i wasn't 100% sure if you wanted this to be platonic or romantic, so i tried to write it to where it could be interpreted as both. thank you for requesting and, as always, i hope you enjoy :)

warnings: none other than the fact that i don't know how to stop myself from typing more than i need to

summary: the 141 learns to adjust to life with their newest recruit; you.

john 'soap' mactavish

when price first introduces you to the group, he can't help but feel like he's done something wrong

and honestly no one can really blame him for feeling that way

the expression that paints your face when you make eye contact with him practically screams, "sleep with one eye open"

and while it is mildly terrifying, he only sees it as a challenge

because in his mind, if he can get the mighty ghost to warm up to him, he can get anyone to warm up to him

so as soon as price cuts you loose from the brief introductions, he's already right by your side pestering you with various questions

and while it was a bit off-putting, you weren't really surprised because price had already told you all about soap before he decided he wanted you on his team

so you just kinda stood there and let him fire off his questions while answering them with that angry expression and bored monotone voice that he can't help but love

like you're standing there, arms crossed with perhaps one of the most pissed off expressions he's ever seen in his life but all his mind can think is >:(

needless to say, he doesn't take your prickly exterior too seriously and it's because of this he's able to get closer to you a lot quicker than the other members do

and it's because of this he tends to vouch for you a lot more to the other members when it comes to getting to know you

"they're not that bad, i swear!"

"johnny, they look like they wanna rip your arm off every time you're near them."

"but they don't, that's the funny part!"

best believe this man is fighting for his life whenever your rbf gets brought into the conversation

and i imagine that one day you actually manage to overhear one of these little debates/conversations (tbh they could go either way with how divided they can be over it, especially when it's gaz vs soap)

and you can't just ignore the way your heart warms as you hear soap valiantly defend your honor

it's one of the few times you're genuinely thankful for his big mouth

after listening in to the conversation for a few more minutes you eventually decide to walk away, heart full and the smallest of smiles pulling at the edge of your lips

i think it goes without saying that you go a little sweet on him after that encounter

well

as sweet as you can go when you're the human embodiment of >:(

at least in the opinion of soap

you don't really see the resemblance tbh

anyway

you start doing little things for him

things like offering to take watch for him when you're both on a mission because you noticed that he hadn't really bothered getting any rest

sitting by his side and letting him ramble on about his family, especially how he always begged his parents to let him stay with his nan over the summer because she owned a little family farm that he absolutely loved to run around on

and even the time you learned how to make scotch pie using his mom's recipe he had tucked away in his room

no matter how much he may deny it, that last one had him tearing up as soon as he took a bite

but honestly, can you blame him?

the man barely gets to visit his parents back home because of his work and it crushes him

honestly, it was probably one of the first few things he confided in you when you first started talking

so naturally when price announces that the 141 has been approved for a two week leave, you don't hesitate in logging onto the computer and buying him the first tickets back to scotland

what you do hesitate with is actually giving them to him

so you decide to gloss over that part completely and instead opt for shoving the tickets inside an plain envelope with his name scribbled on the front and a small note that simply reads, "go." before sliding it under his door the night before everyone is scheduled to depart from base

the moment soap gets his hands on those tickets he can't help the way he runs through the halls and bursts into your room to give you the biggest hug you've ever had in your life

unfortunately for you both, you'd already left base by the time he discovered the tickets

and so with a heavy heart, soap makes his way back to his room before packing his bags with a new vigor

the plane leaves in six hours, but he's so excited he can't help but want to arrive early

needless to say those are probably the best two weeks of his life

and while the others are interested in hearing all about his trip, he simply brushes them off in favor watching the door so he can be there for the exact moment you walk in

and after making him wait more than what he felt was necessary, you finally walk in

and this man

the way he shoots up from his seat and runs over to hug you

it's almost enough to send you both flying to the ground

but luckily you've got some stellar balance and manage to save yourselves from being teased by the rest of the team

but with the way soap is squeezing onto you while repeatedly whispering, "thank you," into the nape of your neck, you don't doubt they'll make fun of you for that

even with the mild embarrassment you feel, you simply wrap your arms around the scottish man and offer him a few pats on the back

and as sweet as it is for the other men to witness such a tender scene, they can't help but notice how upset you look

it's almost laughable

and as much as they want to step in and tell soap to back off, they can't help but notice the way you cling onto soap with that soft look in your eyes

so they remain quiet as you and soap hang onto each other, hearts full of warmth

kyle 'gaz' garrick

i'm gonna say it now

out of anyone in the 141, he was probably the one most intimidated by you

he's the youngest out of everyone and so it stands that, naturally, he has less experience than others

it's for this reason i think he's so keen on staying close to price

i mean the man practically plucked him off the streets and said, "you're mine now," so i think it's reasonable that gaz grows a tad more attached to price than the other members

so when he catches a few glimpses of you around base barking orders at the recruits and slamming them into the mats during sparring sessions, he's not exactly dying to meet you

even so, he finds he's not too worried about the possibility

with how often the 141 departs base to go on various missions and how you always seem to be too caught up in whatever you're doing at the time to be bothered to even glance his way, he eventually comes to the conclusion that you'll never meet

until one day price strolls into the common area where he and the rest of the team are minding their own business with you trailing right beside him looking aggravated as ever

he's already a bit uneasy with the fact you now know where the team goes to relax, but that unease slowly shifts to downright horror when price reveals that you're the newest member of the team

now gaz is usually a pretty easygoing and friendly guy so any chance to meet and bond with new people is always bound to be a good time in his book

but he can't help the shiver that crawls up his spine whenever you're around

seriously, who or what made you look so pissed off all the time?

anyway

because he's so hesitant of being around you, he tries his hardest not to bother you

which basically means he tries not to be in the same room as you

and while you may not really notice or care, the rest of the team certainly does

especially price

he's the type of man who prides himself on having a team that knows they can all rely on one another on and off the field and so he'll be damned if you and gaz are the ones to ruin his little streak

so guess who gets assigned to accompany you and the recruits on your morning workouts from now on?

gaz!

and while he's not necessarily thrilled about the idea of being forced into such close proximity to you, especially first thing in the morning, he respects price enough to not question his decision and just ends up going along with it

and at first he doesn't really pay you much attention in an effort to not do anything to accidentally make you even more upset than he already assumes you are

but then he starts to notice something

he notices the way the recruits light up whenever they see you, whether it be during the morning workout sessions or when you're walking around base

and it baffles him because you just look so upset, he can't possibly imagine why they're all so keen on sending you wide smiles or enthusiastic waves

but one day he looks just a little bit closer and he can see the faintest hint of amusement on your face as your lips showcase the ghost of a smile

that's when he really starts to pay attention

and suddenly he can't help but feel a little ashamed of himself

because now he can practically feel his heart melt every time you interact with the recruits

like how you would bring extra ice-cold water bottles to the morning workouts for the recruits who'd forget to bring their own

or the way you wouldn't hesitate to slide them some money if they mentioned being hungry while you were around

and especially how you don't hesitate to lend an ear for them if they seemed to be troubled by something

it's in those few little moments that he can see just the tiniest cracks through your annoyed expression and heated glares

you're not angry at all, he decides, just real shit at expressing yourself

and upon deciding this, he realizes you're not so scary anymore

so now instead of avoiding you like the plague, he actively seeks you out

at first it's to help you out with carrying the extra water bottles for the recruits in the morning and planning the workouts for the week

but then it turns into him asking to sit with you at the mess hall over dinner and keeping each other company in the commons area

and as much as he tries not to, he can't help the giddiness that floods his body when you start to show him that aggressive love he sees you dish out to the recruits

shoving snacks into his hands when you notice he hasn't eaten in a while

quietly sitting with him while he goes through paperwork because you both know he has a tendency to get distracted

and his personal favorite, draping your jacket over him when you walk in on him sleeping anywhere that isn't his room

he always wakes up with a smile tugging on his lips

and despite how cold and distant you may look while doing these things, he doesn't give it much attention anymore

not when he can see the love and care that's reflected in your eyes

simon 'ghost' riley

despite you and ghost having similar exteriors, it becomes more and more apparent to gaz and soap that you're actually quite different

which isn't a bad thing, of course! just a bit unexpected

but it's because of this striking difference that you and simon tend to keep a majority of your interactions on the field

and you both are more than happy to keep it this way

gaz and soap however, are not

so naturally they put together a plan; a plan that consists of soap giving you his most treasured tactical pen so you can use it to write away in that little journal of yours on the ride back from missions just so he can later "confront" ghost and admonish him for stealing said pen

and during all this, gaz simply remains on the sidelines just looking pretty

anyway

after laying into simon for a good ten minutes, soap walks away from the encounter with a small smile before walking up to gaz and saying something like, "now we wait"

and they do wait

patiently

but after a full two weeks pass by and neither gaz or soap can find any evidence of their so called "master plan" working, they can't help but feel a little discouraged

unbeknownst to them, it totally worked

just not in the way they envisioned

you see, by the time soap came up to simon to lecture him about stealing his pen, ghost had already come to notice you scribbling into your notebook with it

so once soap had finally decided to leave him alone, he immediately confronted you about framing him for such a crime

but you just kinda stare up at him with that annoyed look of yours before revealing soap had willingly given it to you

and things just kinda click into place for the two of you; soap wanted to get you talking

and while you and simon had to admit it wasn't a bad plan, you didn't want to give the scotsman the satisfaction of knowing it had actually worked

so whenever you and simon find yourselves in the company of the rest of the team, you decide to remain distant

but when it's just the two of you?

you're straight chilling

especially when you visit him in his room or vice versa

like just imagine the two of you drinking tea that simon was nice enough to make and watching war movies while bashing all the inaccuracies and bad calls the characters make

or when the two of you are out and about on base free from the prying eyes of gaz and soap because they're out doing their own thing

you and simon love finding random groups of rowdy soldiers just to intimidate them

i don't know about you, but i can definitely see simon just standing there with his arms crossed and eyes narrowed while you rest your hands on your hips with your lips pulled into a frown

price definitely gets complaints about the two of you

he does nothing about them

and for a while that's pretty much the gist of how you and simon spend your time together

but i like to imagine that after a particularly rough mission, simon would seek you out just to sit with you

and i can see him as a stress smoker so when he finally does manage to find you and take a seat beside you, you slide him a pack of cigarettes and a lighter

he doesn't ask how you know his cigarette preference, but instead gives you a small nod of approval before pulling up his mask over lips and taking a drag

and that's how you spend your night

just sitting beside each other as you watch the evening sky gradually begin to fill with stars

i think it would depend on how bad the mission went in order to determine exactly how long the two of you stay sitting under the stars, but it doesn't matter because it'll end the same way; you reaching over and giving simon's hand a quick squeeze with a small, "get some sleep, simon. you need it," before you walk away

and he finds himself confused to two reasons

reason one: why did you grab his hand why did he like it?

reason two: how can you say such sweet words but still look so mad?

as much as he wants to play that moment over in his head just to make sure he was remembering things right, he decides against it in favor of heeding your words and getting some sleep

but it's after that moment he can't help but notice how your mannerisms have changed

not only are your words of reassurance more apparent than before, he's also noticed you have a tendency to give his hand/shoulder a reassuring squeeze every now and then

he can't help the small smile that threatens to pull at his lips when you do

but he also can't help but notice how distant and reserved your face looks when you do all of these things

he doesn't really mind it though

but he eventually does bring it up to you one day

it's probably after he tells you one of his god awful dad jokes

like he'll look over at you and notice your sour expression and say something like, "don't look so pissed, they're not that bad."

and you'll respond with a tilt of your head as you tell him, "i'm not pissed. i like your jokes."

then he'll nudge your shoulder before telling you, "with that face? coulda fooled me."

and you'll roll your eyes in faux annoyance as you brush him off with a simple, "that's just my face."

and then he'll look down at you, thankful for his mask so you can't see the small smile making its way onto his face

he might even say something dumb and cheesy like, "i know. i like it."

and you give him one of your rare smiles

and i could end it there and say the two of you are bffs

or i could sprinkle in something about soap running up on the two of you chanting, "my plan worked, my plan worked!"

that's for you to decide

2K notes · View notes

prince-liest · 8 months ago

Text

Was asked a question about how I write Alastor's relationship with being mixed recently and figured it might be worth sharing my answer here:

(Obligatory disclaimer: I'm not a mixed Black person and I've never even been to the US South, so I'm never going to do a deep-dive on this and my efforts are largely in writing this character in a cohesive and respectful way that doesn't overstep the bounds of my experiences but also doesn't erase his background, either.)

Alastor strikes me as someone who is pretty dedicated to, to put it potentially uncomfortably, masking as white. He straightens his hair, puts on a transatlantic accent, and generally presents himself in a way that he feels is representative of a certain style of "class" back in his day, which was a very white-coded style of class. The fact that his actual body is now extremely unnaturally colored makes it easy for people to pick up the hints he's giving them about how he expects them to see him, unthinkingly.

There's this moment I wrote in 666: Live On Air!:

He lets his smile fade until it’s that old, soft thing on his face. “I think,” he says quietly, “that I look rather like my mother. If she had red hair and antlers, of course.” Angel hesitates. “That a good thing or a bad thing?” Alastor contemplates for a moment. “I think it just is,” he says finally. “For all I know, she does have antlers up there, wherever she ended up. It’s nice to see the echoes of her in my own face.”

And given the context of the scene, it's not wrong to interpret it as an exploration of being aroace, or having loose attachments to gender underneath the vagaries of presentation. I think all of these things can be connected and intertwined; identities and memories are so hard to separate and isolate in that way.

But intertwined along with all of that, I think it's worth noting that unlike Alastor, his mother would not have had the ability to pass as white. So seeing echoes of her in his own face... it's a whole mess of feelings about being true to himself and his mother vs being safe vs taking advantage of what he can in a bigoted society vs his mother loving him and wanting what is best for him vs not knowing anymore if that is safety or truth vs him loving his mother and wanting to honor her.

It's a lot! And given what kind of person Alastor is, it's no wonder he doesn't want to fucking talk about it.

#hazbin hotel #alastor #personal #my writing #666 live on air #not specific only to that series but still relevant to it #meta

82 notes · View notes

the-way-astray · 2 months ago

Note

What's your favorite cannon thing you truly like about Keefe Sencen

I DARE you 😈

i've been dared . . .

definitely my favorite thing is the fact that in flashback/legacy he was 100% not only supportive of sophie and fitz's relationship despite having a crush on sophie, but also actively tries to keep sophie from doing something that could even be interpreted as implicative. there was a poll a while ago about whether people thought sophie and keefe were (even unintentionally) emotionally cheating on fitz, and i answered a hard no. and the main reason for that was because of keefe. he does so much to try to keep sophitz together during that time, including telling sophie to confide in fitz, telling her to tell him about the matchmaking thing, shutting ro down (or at least doing his best to), and generally speaking, he did not have to do all that. like, yeah, any decent person would be supportive and not actively try to break their two friends in a relationship up, but keefe goes way beyond that and actively tells sophie exactly what to do in order to keep her relationship with fitz intact. every time fitz "catches" him with sophie it's lowkey painful to think about what keefe must be feeling because he spends so much time trying to prevent that exact thing from happening. there's even a line in legacy where sophie admits this herself. one of the only times he uses his empathy not dubiously is at the end of legacy, where sophie "tells" him (i use the term loosely) that she and fitz broke up. and he immediately says "i'm sorry", expressing out loud his sympathy for their relationship's end.

(one thing i've heard people misinterpret a lot in anti keefe things is the "blond hottie" line, which they say is an inappropriate thing to say about someone in a relationship. that was not said by keefe. that was said by ro. she says that when she's trying to convince sophie that bronte can't be her bio dad, to which keefe then says "unless she gets that from her mom". that's all he says. sophie then wonders whether that meant he agreed with the blond hottie assessment, but that doesn't come from anything he actually says.)

it surprises me that i haven't seen keefe lovers talk more about the fact that fitz literally commissioned him to draw him and sophie in a very romantic pose in a very romantic spot and keefe did it. so i'm going to talk about it. once again, this is not just baseline "my crush is in a relationship, oh well, guess i won't interfere" stuff. this is going above and beyond to keep sophie and fitz together. again, keefe has a crush on sophie. i'm not an artist, but obviously art doesn't just pop up out of thin air. he spent some time making that drawing. and all that time is yet another reminder that his crush is in a relationship. he could've told fitz no, made up some excuse as to why he couldn't do it, and that would've been well within his right. but he didn't. so that's a thing worth mentioning. (i'm going to just say i don't like the argument that fitz knew what he was doing when he asked keefe for the drawing, though. i think fitz just thought "sophie likes keefe's drawings! let me get her one of those" which is sweet in and of itself.)

in unlocked, keefe thinks something like "he definitely should not be happy that two people close to him were going through a rough patch. but, if he was being honest, he wasn't really sad" or something to that effect. and i like that. he has a crush on sophie, so of course part of him will be happy she's now single again. it's realistic. i've definitely talked about this before, but jealousy isn't a character flaw to me. it's only the actions that a character does because of their jealousy that defines whether or not it's a bad thing. but the thing with keefe is that he never allows the fact that he likes sophie to outwardly affect sophie and fitz's relationship in any negative way when they're tentatively dating. sophie and fitz fell apart for a lot of reasons, but the reasons were entirely on sophie and fitz, and had nothing to do with keefe himself. in fact, you could argue they only lasted as long as they did because of keefe.

i complained a lot about how much he doesn't shut up about his hair in my rant. but that was mostly at his humor style and the fact that he literally talks about it at the weirdest times (in his registry file . . . ) more so than the fact itself. and truthfully, he doesn't even talk about it that much. but i think it makes a lot of sense that he takes pride in it. it's the physical manifestation of rebellion against his parents who have controlled every other aspect of his life. he's also an artist, and i think it's a pretty neat thing that that extends to the way he styles his hair. also it looks good. i will die on this hill. just don't look at the laura art. jason chan is my king and keefe's hair is very cool and- *gunshot*

there's also a handful of moments where keefe uses his humor appropriately, to ease tension. best example i can think of is the one katie brought up in this post which is the moment in flashback right before the celestial festival (climax). magnate leto gives them all these sparkler things to light if they're in danger, and keefe sets off a couple prematurely "just to make sure they work" *wink wink nudge nudge* and sophie specifically says the "bit of levity" helped tame the "monster" she's been battling the whole book. when he's able to use his humor appropriately, and not at weird times about weird things, he can be a valuable source of comfort. these moments are unfortunately few and far between, but they do exist.

keefe is also good at calming sophie down when she's panicking, when he's not using his empathy to force her to tell him her feelings. i personally like it more when he's comforting her using his words than his emotional breezes, because that speaks more to his personality than it does to his ability to use his emotional breezes to calm her down. another example katie discusses in the post above is when he's talking to her about the bronte-is-her-bio-dad theory. sophie was panicking because she was thinking about the implications of it (prentice, him acting horrible to her, etc.) and keefe brings her back down to earth with his reassurances that this doesn't change anything about her. when she says bronte can't know she knows, he immediately gets her to reconsider in a gentle way, because like. that's the entire point of her search for her bio parents. he does all this using his words (actually i just checked and he does use his emotional breezes a couple of times but his words do have an impact on their own so we're disregarding that), which does prove that he's very good at knowing what to say to keep her calm.

(also the fact that he was even helping her search for her bio parents is another example of him going above and beyond to keep her relationship to fitz intact. he didn't have to do that at all.)

and lastly, i think i mentioned this in my rant and maybe a couple other places, but i think keefe's jealousy when it comes to family is written very realistically. in neverseen, he's jealous of fitz, biana, sophie, and dex when they hug their parents, and there's a line where he specifically says "i hate watching it. them and della" (them referring to fitz and biana). in unlocked, he's again jealous of dex's family and wishes he'd been born into a family like his. and i think that's written really well. it's pretty subtle and not really shoved in your face, too. i'm pretty sure there's a total of three times it gets brought up: the "them and della" line, one line at the end of neverseen where sophie and dex are hugging edaline and kesler, and then the line in unlocked. very blink and you miss it but i like that. it's one of the few things the narrative doesn't dump a truckload of pity on keefe for, and it makes the few times it is brought up even sadder.

oh, and also i think he's handsome. sue me.

#kotlc #kotlc keefe #keefe sencen #a pro keefe sencen post? by me? the world is not at all as it seems . . .#asks #alaydabug2 #i talked in my rant about how keefe tears sophie and fitz's (and dex's and tam's) relationship down at every turn BEFORE they're dating #which i don't think is contradictory to this. and i also don't think he necessarily developed. hard to explain. may expand more later #i've definitely talked about how in some parallel universe sokeefe could work and i could like it. here are your reasons for that

38 notes · View notes

bloodofsancho · 2 months ago

Text

Theories & Speculations about Canto 7: Lightning Round

So, I've had a much longer, more essay formatted post sitting in my drafts on here for a while, and even longer on my main blog where I imported it from. But seeing as Canto 7 is just on the horizon and my real life obligations haven't gotten any lighter, I've decided that instead of writing a Big Long Theory Post about Canto 7, I would instead summarize my main thoughts/beliefs/speculations into bullet points on a single post. This still ended up being really long though. Anyway, without further ado:

Project Moon's interpretation of Don Quixote seems inspired in part by the musical Man of La Mancha. While I've seen many consider it an adaptation of Don Quixote, it's...not really. It's loosely based off of it. In the musical, it follows Miguel de Cervantes and his unnamed servant who have been imprisoned by the Spanish Inquisition and put on a play for the prisoners where Cervantes plays Don Quixote and his servant plays Sancho Panza. A female prisoner/prostitute named is chosen to play Dulcinea. She is a principal character in the play.

In the book, Dulcinea is little more than a figment of Quixote's imagination. Aldonza is only mentioned in one sentence at the end of the first chapter. She's also a slaughterhouse worker and not a prostitute.

I have absolutely no idea which interpretation Project Moon will go with. But I find it interesting that Don Quixote hasn't mentioned Dulcinea at all, while in the book she probably comes up every other sentence.

Dulcinea = Carmen?

I think the likely villain candidatesfor this Canto are either Sanson Carrasco or "Avellaneda".

Sanson Carrasco, also known as the "Knight of Mirrors" or "Knight of the White Moon" is a guy from Don Quixote's town who along with the barber and priest (make note of that btw) takes it upon himself to cure Don Quixote of his presumed madness. He's kind of a smartass. He decides the best way to cure Don Quixote of his mental illness is to defeat him as the Knight of Mirrors but ends up getting beaten by Don Quixote, and he's not happy about this and swears revenge. Later he appears as the Knight of the White Moon, and defeats Don Quixote in a duel.

In Man of La Mancha, a prisoner known as "the Duke" is chosen to play Sanson Carrasco in the play, who pretty much does the same thing as he does in the book except he's much more cynical in the play.

The other candidate, Avellaneda, would be a very interesting and very Project Moon choice for an antagonist. Alonso Fernandez de Avellaneda was the pseudonym used by an author who wrote a fake sequel to the first part of Don Quixote, which Miguel de Cervantes didn't intend on writing an official sequel to until he saw Avellaneda's work and he hated it so much it spurred him into writing an actual sequel. The existence of the fake sequel is mocked and referenced in the second part of Don Quixote, and considering the events of Canto 6 I think that's worth keeping in mind.

Now onto actual speculation and called shots for Canto 7 since I've laid this groundwork:

I think that the plot of Canto 7, at least initially, may draw heavy inspiration from Man of La Mancha. I think the Bloodfiends from La Mancha Land are possibly taking humans captive through some kind of method (attracting them to the fair maybe?) and torturing them as entertainment. Through some kind of means, the Bloodfiends have also gotten a Golden Bough, but I'm unsure how or why they would use it. Maybe someone can provide some ideas.

Humans going missing and ending up at some kind of vampire torture fair is exactly the kind of case Moses would take on. It remains to be seen if she will be there in person, or if she'll communicate with Dante through a walkie talkie or radio. At the end of the teaser, she sounded like she was talking through a radio (assuming that was in fact Moses).

Sancho is either a Fixer who Don Quixote became friends with in between establishing her human form and joining Limbus Company, or he (assuming that the blue text from the teaser is Sancho) is a Bloodfiend. Maybe both? His text from the teaser seems to be encouraging Don Quixote's delusions.

I initially thought that the Bloodfiend from the teaser could be Dulcinea (or Marcela or Dorotea)* but a user pointed out to me that she's holding large scissors so she's probably the Barber. However, this morning I looked back at the MOTWE story cutscenes with Cassetti and he refers to the Barber with he/him pronouns. I don't know if this means anything, or if it's an oversight or retcon from Project Moon.

I think there's a strong possibility that, following the Man of La Mancha line of thought, Don Quixote's true Bloodfiend identity is Miguel de Cervantes. A lot of people seem to agree with this. However, I haven't seen anyone really make any shots as to why she would seal herself away, and I think I have a plausible answer:

Being a member of the elder generation of Bloodfiends from before the White Nights and Dark Days, Cervantes is primarily nonviolent and doesn't want much to do with humans. After the White Nights and Dark Days spawned a new generation of Bloodfiends who were significantly more prone to violence, violent attacks on humans increased and this alerted even more people to the existence of Bloodfiends---especially people who would like to hunt and kill them. This put the lives of Cervantes' Kindred at grave risk, and not wanting to fight or kill humans, she sealed herself away and invented a human persona---and possibly her Kindred as well, hence how Sancho could also both be a Fixer and a Bloodfiend.

She might have invented Don Quixote with the express purpose of creating a human self who had a strong sense of justice and right the wrongs of the City. Maybe she became a Bloodfiend to start with in order to escape the injustice of the City.

This would line up extremely well thematically with both the novel and Man of La Mancha. Sancho supporting Don Quixote's dreams (or her human persona in general) could support this idea if we assume he is a Bloodfiend.

Meanwhile, the Bloodfiends are more concerned with getting their Second Kindred back once they realize who she is. This would align well with the Barber and Sanson, assuming that Sanson is a Bloodfiend and not a Bloodfiend hunter.

I realize that this is kind of a slapdash post, but I was really running out of time and on top of being both sick today and having two papers due on Sunday, I needed to get this out before Canto 7. I realize that this doesn't touch on many aspects, like the associations with Carmilla, other characters like Dorotea, Marcela, Cardenio, the priest, etc but I decided for the sake of time that I would talk about them if/when they appear in Canto 7. Regardless, I would like to hear everyone's thoughts if they have any!

#limbus company #limbus company analysis #limbus company speculation #limbus company theory #project moon

27 notes · View notes

iamthemaestro · 4 months ago

Note

would you perhaps regale us with tales of your time at sea (i am so curious what reenactment is like when youre traveling on an actual historical ship)

Ah, I *wish* I could say about the reenactment part but unfortunately the Lady Washington does not do much in terms of historical interpretation anymore—they definitely used to but they've gone through a lot of major changes in the past few years and it seems that was one of them. Frankly that would have been the only thing that could have made me more excited to be there lol.

However I appreciate the chance to infodump though since my brain is still very much in Ship Mode with nothing to do with itself... not sure if I have many *tales,* per se, but I did tons of fun stuff and tried to push myself hard in terms of trying things that scared me. On my last day I went up to furl the fore t'gallant (topmost yard on the foremast) which was probably the most physically difficult thing I did during my whole stay—while the climb up the t'gallant shrouds was fairly scary it was honestly much harder to just remain upright against the yard because the footrope was so shallow. On the topyards it's quite comfortable because you can functionally "stand" upright and lean against the yard at about stomach level while you're working, but here if you tried to stand upright the yard wouldn't even come up to your hips so you have to put all this weight into your knees, sort of crouching in order to have it in a good position to lean upon. I'd like to say I got pretty decent at furling in general but man... that one was a doozy. If I had had more time to practice it maybe it would come easier, but as it was we only set the t'gallants twice while I was there anyway. I will say I was surprised at how non-panicked I felt while I was hanging out there on the shrouds waiting for a wake to pass, not clipped into anything, held there by my own strength probably 50ish feet in the air—initially one of the hardest psychological parts of going aloft was staving off the intrusive thoughts, being a person very prone to them, but by the end I was actually quite impressed with how calm I felt up there. It's the best seat in the house, after all, second only to that of the main t'gallant: at first it feels dizzingly, unfathomably high, and when you look down you have this gut instinct of fear—I don't think humans were ever meant to be this high up, frankly—but the wind is whipping past you and your crewmates are like ants on the deck below you and all around you the shore disappears into fog on the horizon, and you're here; you swallow your fear and think, despite everything, "isn't this wonderful?"

My last day was a good one; during our transit from Port Orchard to Everett, the Seattle Krackens sent a film team out and had us set every sail we physically could along with a bunch of Kracken flags for their promotional video this season—we even rigged the main royal just for fun, despite the fact that it was too late for it to be caught on camera. Though I doubt I will ever see it, hypothetically there's some awesome footage of me loosing the bunt from the fore topsail with that fantastic WHOOMF as all that canvas drops��it looks so graceful from afar but when you're up there handling all that canvas it feels powerful more than anything else, all held up by the singular little midshipman's knot you undid with one hand, clinging to the jackstay with the other and watching the sail fall from the sky below you.

That night we also had a "shanty night" which I am very glad I got to experience, given my background as a musician, and it was a great time. Unfortunately I had no way to travel with my mandolin so I was armed only with my tinwhistle, but some crew members seemed genuinely pretty impressed with my ability to pick up tunes, which, at the risk of sounding extremely pretentious (forgive me) I am accustomed to thinking of as a rather mundane thing, but it was nice to feel appreciated. One of my crewmates, very drunk at the time, told me very earnestly that my "improsov" was very good and a "skill I should cherish," and honestly I don't think I'll ever forget that—when I picked up with the verse to Spanish Ladies everyone else had forgotten he cheered obnoxiously for me and kept up a steady stream of enthusiastic interjections where he didn't know the words, and while I am not generally fond of being the center of attention, I was fond of him for that.

Over the course of the trip I was introduced to a great number of tunes I'd never heard—which is something I value deeply—most of which I probably won't remember the names of, but of those I do I am making a point to learn. I love this sort of exchange—folk music at its most authentic—especially in a place like this, late in the evening on what, by the end of my time, I had decided was the most beautiful ship in the world, where our singing and our laughter carried across the water and into the night and my heart, though saddened by the air of finality that pervaded it all, was full.

Excuse me for getting a little prosaic—it's hard to describe the feelings you experience sailing a vessel like this one, at least to me, and it's been a dream of mine for a while. I miss it already and have full intentions on returning in coming years, but for now thanks for the opportunity to talk about it lol!

#asks #long post #sorry lmao #shipposting #mine

22 notes · View notes

dr-futbol-blog · 19 days ago

Text

Instinct, Pt. 9

Sheppard, Teyla and Ronon have joined everyone by Zaddik's fallen body, although we did not see them come in. Note that Sheppard is standing very close to McKay, apparently having placed himself between him and the villagers after making his way to him through the crowd, and we now find him looking down at McKay as he kneels on the ground. We saw McKay look up over his shoulder in the previous shot, and he must have been looking up at Sheppard even though we cannot be sure when they entered the scene. While McKay is on his knees, he keeps twisting himself back to be able to look back at Sheppard. And it seems as though they had been holding each other's gaze up until Callup walks toward him, at which point Sheppard casts his eyes down.

Callup: There's another one of those things out there. Look what it did to Zaddik!

Given Callup's age and the fact that Goran seemed to be protective of him like a son the other night, he may have been a friend of Zaddik's before the man went missing and was presumed dead. He certainly seems incensed enough here, seeing what has been done to him, to have some personal connection to Zaddik. Callup tells Sheppard to look at the man on the ground but that is precisely what Sheppard was not doing, looking instead at the ground, looking away from the scene. He did not need to see a reminder of exactly what could have and almost had happened to McKay when he had not been there to protect him, when he had been trusting that McKay would be able to handle the younger wraith suddenly turned monster on his own. Callup is incensed and clearly trying to rile up the crowd for some good old mob justice which is precisely what Sheppard is trying to avoid.

Callup: I say we go after it now! Sheppard: No one's going anywhere. We'll handle this! Stay calm. How is he?

Sheppard does not need loose guns (or pitchforks) running around the forest, and like he did back in the village, he seems discomfited by this display of a rowdy crowd, as is. He seems to understand how fast something like this can boil over and end up in indiscriminate violence, and he is just not willing to take that chance with McKay there. Sheppard steps even closer to McKay as he requests a sitrep from Beckett, glancing down at him as he does. He still seems to be avoiding looking at the broken body of the dying man. While likely he was telling Callup (and the rest of the villagers) to stay calm in particular, he actually looks at McKay as he says this. Stay calm, we will sort this out. We are in this together.

Now, it does not outwardly look like McKay is not calm because he may be starting to dissociate again, but that does not stop Sheppard from wanting to offer him some comfort, being that McKay is the one kneeling by the body, trying to help the old man pass away as comfortably as possible under the circumstances. McKay has been looking up at Sheppard, holding Sheppard's gaze, and it is interesting that as Sheppard shifts his gaze to look at Beckett to ask him a question, McKay follows his gaze. He turns back to look at the direction Sheppard was looking at and then, as Beckett approaches Sheppard, he follows him with his eyes. For what ever reason, he looks upset at Beckett walking up to Sheppard. Maybe he is upset at being left alone by the dying man since the feeling of abandonment seems to be McKay's main issue of late. He interprets Sheppard as rejecting him over and over again, and now even his best friend leaves him alone. But of course Beckett's intention was merely to get some privacy, to be able to fill Sheppard in without the whole crowd overhearing them.

Beckett: I've given him something for the pain, but his injuries are too severe. He's not going to make it. Goran: This can't be happening. It's not possible. Zaddik: I'm sorry. Don't blame Ellia. It was my idea.

Zaddik had been willing to give up his life for the wraith ever since taking her own as his own, and even dying he was trying to protect her. He cared about her more than he cared about his own life because she was what had given his life meaning. Giving up his life for her was easy, his only regret was that in dying he would be unable to continue keeping her safe. Even dying, he was trying to draw the ire of the villagers unto himself so that they might spare Ellia. She was the death of him but he hoped that she would be able to go on after he was gone.

And in all of this, he resembles Sheppard. Both Zaddik and Sheppard were willing to do anything to keep the person they loved safe and alive. We saw this when they first encountered each other, both using their own bodies to shield what was important to them. While Sheppard briefly looks at Beckett when he is talking to him, mostly he keeps looking at McKay. And we can tell this is the case as, just as soon as McKay stands up, Sheppard's gaze also trails up.

Zaddik: You have to understand that when I found her, I'd just lost my own wife and son to a fever. She was just lying there, helpless. knew what I had to do. As I told you, in the beginning she survived on food and water like any young girl. Then the hunger came. She took what she needed from me to survive until I perfected the serum.

Zaddik starts telling them the story of how he came to care for the wraith. He is imploring them to understand, and McKay looks at Sheppard as he says this, Sheppard again returning his gaze just as soon as McKay looks at him. They do not speak, at least not in words. The last words spoken between them in the episode were through the radio when McKay contacted him earlier, telling him "Not at the moment, no." The last word we hear McKay tell Sheppard is no, where the last thing we hear Sheppard tell McKay ("Get back there and sit tight") is for him to wait. But they exchange a lot of looks here.

As he lay dying, Zaddik fills them in on what he has been up to for the past ten years and how it is he came to look like he is a man over twice his natural age. As the wraith had reached adolescence and had begun to hunger, he could not stand watching someone he loved in pain and so he had allowed the wraith to feed on him. What is interesting here, with regards to Sheppard and McKay, is that we see Zaddik join Ellia in her bedroom with the intention of easing her pain. Zaddik lets Ellia feed on him while they are both kneeling by her bed. She ends up comforting him after she has done a terrible thing to ease her pain but from which she also seemed to get at least momentary pleasure.

As mentioned previously, somewhere between Duet (S02E04) and Condemned (S02E05) it seems like McKay had joined Sheppard in his room, ostensibly to talk. Sheppard had been seated on his bed, which we can tell by the fact that when ever we see him sitting on his bed when McKay is in his room after this, Sheppard seems to need to keep something between them, some physical object like a gold club or a magazine as a barrier, out of concern that there would be a repeat of what had happened then--as though he knows he would be unable to resist if McKay stepped into his personal space there again.

Zaddik tells Ellia, "It's all right, take what you need." A moment's pleasure that is meant to sustain her until he can find a permanent solution, to hold her over. Something had happened while Sheppard had been seated on his bed that left him trembling with want even during their next mission in the prison colony of Olesia, as he watched McKay lying down on the floor of the jumper fixing it. Sheppard looks on at the man tell his story with a mixture of revulsion and sympathy. Loathe as he is to admit it, a part of him can even understand his reasoning. There are few things that he would not do for McKay. But he is still not sure what to make of all of this.

Sheppard: She never fed on anyone after that? Zaddik: No.

Sheppard looks at Zaddik for a long time, not sure if he is telling the truth or not, not sure that he believes him. Sheppard is an expert liar and he knows lies that people tell themselves better than most. Zaddik is telling him what he wishes was true. And as a father, as someone that loves her, he is trying to protect her with his last breath. He knows that he is dying, he knows that he is as good as dead, so he is trying to make something good come out of this. What ever happens, at least they might think better of her if they never learn the truth.

But the fact that Sheppard even thinks to ask this question tells us that he still has his doubts about her. Zaddik had just told them that he let the girl feed on himself up until he had perfected the formula of the medicine that made it unnecessary for her to feed. If Sheppard took his word for it, the question would be unnecessary. He does not. And as McKay had shared Sheppard's doubts, even though they never even got to discuss the matter just between the two of them, McKay likewise seems disinclined to believe him, exchanging another glance with Sheppard. Sheppard returns McKay's look before he comes to a decision.

Sheppard: All right. Teyla? Ronon? You're with me. The rest of you stay here.

Now, again, Sheppard chooses Ronon and Teyla to come with him because they are the minimum, the skeleton crew he needs to go after a wraith. Ronon knows how to track one and Teyla can sense their presence. He needs someone to stay with the villagers and protect them in case she decides to come after them, needs someone to get this lot out of the forest. There is a clear reason as to why he does not want Beckett to come with on the hunt: as a doctor, he is an important asset that needs to be kept safe and who has so little field experience that he would be a liability, more in their way than of use. But Sheppard does not think the same of McKay.

He has trained McKay himself to be useful in the field. He has found McKay useful in the field ever since he had goddamn chosen him for his own team. Their first mission together out on the field was trying to capture a whole adult wraith to bring back with them to Atlantis, and he had insisted McKay join in on it. Thinking that McKay would not have any use on the hunt or that he would merely be in the way has nothing whatsoever to do with Sheppard's choice not to take him with here. It isn't even about keeping McKay safe because he is trying to trust McKay to be able to take care of himself, that is what he has been doing all throughout this episode, and as far as Sheppard understood it, Ellia had specifically spared McKay's life. He is trusting McKay to take care of these people, he is entrusting them to McKay, because he is making an effort to trust.

But that is not what McKay takes out of this. That is not how McKay interprets what happens here. To McKay, this is the fifth time in this episode that Sheppard makes it clear to him that he does not need him. He does not want him to tag along. That Sheppard is once more choosing his team and not including McKay in it. That he is being glossed over like Sheppard thought he sucked so much at softball as not to get chosen for his team for playing in the park with their friends. Having felt like an unwanted child, McKay's deepest injury is not being wanted and Sheppard unwittingly keeps re-enforcing these feelings by making it seem like McKay is not his choice for anything. Sheppard might have the best, most noble intentions but from McKay's point of view, what he does is hurtful and cruel.

However, it is familiar to McKay. it is something he is used to. It is even kind of comforting when people behave in the way he expects them to behave, to treat him like he feels he deserves to be treated. But to be treated like this by someone he loves, consistently, whose approval he most desires, it is hurtful. And what is more, if Sheppard had taken McKay with, a lot of the suffering he will go through in the near future could have been entirely avoided, as McKay could have stayed with Teyla allowing Ronon to go with him. But he does not, and McKay is left nursing his hurt. Where McKay has nothing more to say to Sheppard, Beckett has some words of advice:

Beckett: Colonel, the retrovirus is acting quickly. The human part of her is almost gone. Sheppard: You said she killed the other wraith and saved McKay's life? Beckett: Yes, but I'm not sure she knew what she was doing. She's operating on a purely animal level right now.

The curious thing is, we did not see Beckett tell Sheppard either of these things. It is possible there that is some funky editing in this scene, it is possible they cut away and information had been relayed that we did not get to witness. The sudden appearance of Sheppard and the others does suggest that something is missing here. Another possibility is that neither Beckett nor McKay said it out loud. When McKay was nearing ascension in Tao of Rodney (S03E14), he could hear people's thoughts to such an extent that he had to start actively blocking them out. At least partial telepathy seems to have been common among the unascended Ancients, much of their technology functioning with a mental component. For example, Sheppard uses a neutral interface to steer the jumper that does what ever he wants it to do. We have seen this unsettling ability to read each other's thoughts between Sheppard and McKay.

Now, Beckett holds the next most active ATA gene after Sheppard on the expedition, and when ever they need someone to use Ancient technology and Sheppard is not around, Beckett is the one they turn to. As far as we know, Sheppard and Beckett are the only ones with the authentic gene on Atlantis (perhaps along with Dr. Kusanagi) and, given their derivation from people inhabiting the British Isles, both of them may be descended from Moros. Because Sheppard comes from the upper classes, possibly from old money, where interbreeding inside a smaller pool of potential partners within the same social class is the norm, it seems to have allowed his lineage to retain a stronger version of the gene than Beckett, whose ancestors had likely married more freely.

The point is, it is entirely possible that they present some weak level of telepathy, especially between them (although Sheppard's ability to tell when people are lying may also indicate some latent ability to read people beyond just their physical tells), without ever even realizing it. Especially for Sheppard and Beckett this is natural, it is how they have always been. Sheppard is able to use his skills for sussing out people's motivations, to work people over and possibly even to have a sixth sense about where his enemies are located, whereas Beckett has used his skills to develop empathy for his patients, to easily discover what is ailing them. We do also observe a marked change in McKay following his gene therapy, as he suddenly seems to become more empathetic toward people, takes people around him into consideration much more than he did previously. And none of them may even realize that this is happening. It is never made explicit in the text. And yet all three of them seemed to be able to tell that Zaddik had been lying just then.

Teyla: Is there nothing you can do for her? Beckett: I might be able to reverse the effects, if you bring her back alive, but I doubt she'll cooperate. She's also stronger and faster than any wraith I've ever seen. Sheppard: Great!

McKay says nothing as they take off, but he is certainly having feelings about it, about being left behind. He looks deeply unhappy, his mouth a straight line as he tries not to let anyone see how much it hurts to be rejected by the man that he loves. While Sheppard's intention has been to work on trusting McKay, of showing him that he is able to trust him enough to let him do things on his own, not to have to keep him by his side at all times because knowing where McKay is and that he is alright is the only thing that can put his mind at ease. Sheppard knows that trust is an issue that he has to work on, and his choices in this episode have been due to his attempts at dealing with this.

But from McKay's point of view, Sheppard has been letting him know that he does not trust him. McKay thinks that Sheppard has been leaving him out of his team, of choosing Ronon and Teyla and not him, because he does not trust that McKay is able to take care of himself, that he can handle himself in a tight situation. McKay feels like Sheppard is doing this as a way of punishing him for what took place on the Ancient weapons platform, that it had been McKay jeopardizing Sheppard's life there that had made Sheppard not trust him anymore. And once more it is not talking this out using words that makes them both completely misinterpret each other.

We see McKay exchange a glance here with Beckett, just as he had with Sheppard earlier. This may also point to the two of them being able to communicate using a purely mental component. It is useful for certain kinds of communication but, perhaps because it is an ability deriving from the Ancients, it fails spectacularly when it comes to communicating feelings. Both Beckett and McKay have to stay behind to watch Zaddik die, and they get to listen in on his final words:

Goran: All this time, we thought you were dead! Zaddik: There was no other way. They never would have accepted us... and I couldn't abandon her. Goran: Why? Zaddik: She... needed me.

His father does not say the words out loud but you can read them on his face: I needed you. We see his face twist in pain as he looks away from his dying son, having to experience his death for a second time. The fact that in his mind he had already buried his son ten years ago does not seem to make the second time any easier.

They also underscore the allegory in the episode here. Society would not have accepted the two of them so they had to keep it a secret, they had to share their lives hidden from the rest of them. Zaddik had chosen her because she had needed him, because by dedicating his life to her he had felt necessary. Having lost his wife and son he had been adrift, and in her he had found meaning for his life. She had become the centre of his world, and because he had arranged his entire existence around her, it was easy to sacrifice his life to keep her safe. He had made a choice, and he continued to make the same choice until his dying day. This too was something that Sheppard would well understand.

Beckett: Colonel? This is Beckett. Sheppard: Go ahead. Beckett: Zaddik is dead. Sheppard: Understood.

Beckett gets in touch with Sheppard to inform them of Zaddik's passing, and we may note again that it is Beckett who does the contacting and not McKay. This is something that McKay could have called in with, only he didn't. It seemed like McKay might be incapable of saying anything at all right then, not trusting himself to speak when he was hurting as deeply as he was. Beckett was much more used to delivering news of this kind, besides. But note again that while Beckett is not addressing him with the full "Colonel Sheppard" here, he has abbreviated it to "Colonel" and not to "Sheppard," which Mckay did earlier. This further emphasizes the fact that McKay does not usually call him Colonel.

And as he did before, Sheppard responds to him with a simple "Go ahead," meaning go ahead, say what you had to say. I'm listening. With McKay, he had actually wanted to know what McKay had to tell him instead of just getting the sitrep, like he does now from Beckett. The fact that they do this for the second time in the episode just highlights the way in which Sheppard is different with McKay. Sheppard gives Beckett a simple "message received," but he does exchange a look with Teyla over this news. They had expected Zaddik to die, to be sure, but now she had crossed over from trying to injure someone to actually having killed. She was a killer. And they never discover just how much of a killer she was.

Dex: She knows we're here. She's watching us. Teyla: Ellia? We want to help you! Doctor Beckett can make you better, but you have to come with us! We will not hurt you!

What is important here, with regards to the following episode, is that Teyla seems to be able to sense her, to feel her out, even though she is changing into the iratus bug and is less wraith by the moment. There is a connection between the wraith and the iratus bugs, and from the looks of it, it may be even stronger now that she is becoming more their ancestral insect form. Like Beckett said, she is more animal than human by the moment but this also makes her behaviour more instinctual.

The part of Teyla that is wraith is seeking her out, and she seems to feel some kinship with her, still trying to help her out and save her. And important for the following episode is also the fact that she seeks out Teyla first. Earlier, it seemed like she went for the most dangerous targets first and objectively, both Ronon and Sheppard should be more threatening to her than Teyla. But Teyla is genetically closest to the wraith out of all three of them, and her animal instinct is drawn to her first. This is extremely relevant to Sheppard's behaviour toward Teyla after he starts taking on the characteristics of the bug. Teyla is her target, Teyla is encroaching on her territory, Teyla is the one her instinct tells her to take out.

Dex: She took a blow to the head when it hit her. Sheppard: Stay with her! Dex: Sheppard! Sheppard: That's an order.

Ronon and Sheppard manage to scare her away, and Sheppard removes his jacket to make Teyla more comfortable after taking a blow to the head. This is precisely where they could have used McKay, and just allowing Sheppard to keep his jacket on might have spared him a world of pain. But notice that seeing Teyla taken out, seeing Teyla injured, does not incapacitate Sheppard. It barely slows him down. He tells Ronon to stay with her while he intends to take care of the problem alone, and the faster he is able to do that, the quicker he can get back to McKay to make sure that he is safe. Because he knows that what happened to Teyla could have happened to McKay. What happened to Zaddik could have happened to McKay.

As he leaves, Sheppard makes it an order for Ronon to stay with her because he has no time to argue, he has no time to explain, and he knows that Ronon actually needs him to make it an order, it gives him a sense of security for someone to tell him what to do and be direct about it. He basically told McKay the same thing, for him to stay with Beckett earlier, and while the situation was less urgent and less dire, he did not make it an order and instead tried to explain to McKay why he wanted him to stay back ("McKay, stay here and help Beckett"). Beyond this, he also tried to use his eyes to give McKay direction for what he wanted him to do, further trying to explain to McKay why he needed him to stay back.

Also, if it had been McKay instead of Ronon here, Sheppard would very likely not even have needed to make it an order. If he told McKay to stay with her, he would have stayed with her. While Sheppard feels like he needs to give McKay a reason to do something, to give him an explanation, McKay actually does not need a reason to do something Sheppard wants him to do. He wants to do anything Sheppard wants him to do. Being able to do something for Sheppard is what gives McKay's life meaning just as protecting McKay seems to give Sheppard's life meaning. And so, all alone in the woods, we get to watch Sheppard play commando again.

While Sheppard is tracking the wraith all by his lonesome, Teyla regains consciousness and she has the following exchange with Ronon:

Teyla: What happened? Where's Colonel Sheppard? Dex: He went after the creature! Teyla: You let him go alone?! Dex: He wanted me to stay with you. Teyla: I am fine. Go! Dex: Aren't we supposed to follow his orders? Teyla: Sometimes we are allowed to make exceptions. Dex: And who decides when it's one of those times? Teyla: We do. Dex: That's good enough!

This gives us insight into the dynamic between Teyla and Sheppard, which is also relevant for the upcoming episode. Sheppard is someone Teyla has chosen to follow because she believes that he is a worthy leader, he is someone worth following. But Teyla does consider Sheppard a friend more than his commander, and when she thinks that he has made a stupid-ass decision, she is perfectly capable of ignoring it. Having just tussled with the girl turning into an iratus bug, she does not think that Sheppard is capable of handling this on his own and hence ushers Ronon to help him out, to keep him safe.

The fact that Ronon also did stay with Teyla when Sheppard told him to do so reminds us of the fact that Sheppard had brought Ronon on to safeguard his team, but McKay in particular. Ronon understood the assignment, and it is because he feels grateful to Sheppard for having taken him in that he tries to fulfill that obligation. If Sheppard needs him to protect the things he cares about, that is what he is going to do. But while Sheppard himself is very much not used to people wanting to take care of him, his team are every one of them a stubborn lot that are testament to how well he has made his choices. And Sheppard certainly could use the back-up right about now:

Sheppard: Ellia?! Don't make me do this.

As far as Sheppard understood it, Ellia had not only spared McKay's life but had saved it. Saving McKay's life is the most meaningful thing that a person can do, as far as Sheppard is concerned. It puts your name in his good books using permanent marker. It was only in the previous episode that Teyla confirmed the fact that it was because Ronon had saved McKay's life that they had given him "sanctuary". Saving McKay's life was the reason Sheppard had taken Ronon in, had allowed him to accompany them to Atlantis and had taken him in on his team. Sheppard feels like he owes anyone that manages to save McKay's life because he thinks that it is his job and they had done his job for him, and doesn't that just tell us everything we need to know about their relationship.

But here, it ends up costing Sheppard because the fact that he feels like he owes her one makes him hesitate for a moment too long. He does not want to take her life, he wants to spare it. He hates the wraith, and if there is anything he might hate more than the wraith, it is the iratus bugs. His instinct would be to kill it with fire. It is because his instinct to keep McKay safe overrides all his other instincts that he does not kill her immediately here, trying to reason with her when she is clearly beyond reason, trying to reach that part of her that he thinks saved McKay's life. But of course that is not what she had done in the first place. Her intention had been to kill anything encroaching on her territory, beginning with the wraith. It was inadvertently that her action had spared McKay's life, and it had been Beckett clipping her that had spared McKay from being her next victim.

Sheppard does get a few shots in before she overpowers him, and they too wrestle on the ground. Symbolically Sheppard wrestles with his own guilt, his own darkness, and the next episode is symbolic of this darkness overpowering him. Like we saw previously in The Siege (S01E19), when a wraith had stunned Sheppard and was closing in on him lying helpless on the ground, there are also echoes of sexual violence in this. And it is not insignificant that it is a female that is trying to feed on him, it is a female he is trying to protect his virtue from here. Sheppard seems to have a history of being victimized by women and I'll explore this in more detail later, but this is one of a dozen subtle indicators of why he does not feel comfortable with most women in his personal space regardless of whether he finds them attractive or not.

But as mentioned, symbolically this is more indicative of Sheppard wrestling with himself, and he very much seems to be losing that battle. It is only Ronon's intervention that saves his life, and he is not used to people saving him because he sees it as his job to save everyone else. And so they take her out together.

Dex: You OK? Sheppard: Yeah. She tried feeding on me. Dex: She wasn't gonna let us take her back. Sheppard: Yeah, I know.

The episode finishes with Sheppard watching her dead body and the complete and utter failure of this mission. She managed to injure him with her pincer, leading us to the next episode where Sheppard continues wrestling with his darkness, with his guilt, with his inability to trust and to let anyone close to him. Sheppard had tried trusting McKay, he had tried dealing with his issues, but they are clearly too deep-seated for him to solve them on his own. He keeps making decisions for McKay without discussing them with him, and this inability to communicate is just driving them further apart which is all the more ironic due to the ease with which they understand each other. McKay is not the problem, he is just where Sheppard has been concentrating all of his issues. And he has to start facing them before they eat him up alive.

#sga #stargate atlantis #john sheppard #sga meta #sheppard is bi #rodney is gay #rodney mckay #mcshep #ep. instinct #ep. duet #ep. condemned #ep. tao of rodney

10 notes · View notes

thelensart · 1 year ago

Text

Hello, Aceweek!!

Basically all of my characters could be read as ace in some kind of way, but let’s focus on one of them.

This big, tall pine tree right here is Uxue. She’s a solitary shepherdess who, in her story, fights against a curse laid upon her by her own mother, an overprotective and stubborn sorceress who, with the best intentions, cripples her ability to make a name for herself.

I always thought of Uxue is canonically autistic, and most of her personality traits, body movements, mood, and way of directing herself regarding the world, is based off my own experience as a very socially retracted autistic trans woman, reason why I gave her such an unusual look, although I never thought of her as a transgender. She’s not very talkative, certainly isn’t social at all, instead preferring to work her days away in the hills with her sheep, from place to place, but always in the familiarity of the wilderness. Her best skill, or “special interest”, one might say, is gunslinging. She’s quite a good shot and revolver-trickster, although the curse laid on her doesn’t quite let her reach her full potential. This in particular is a parallelism, through fantasy magic, to the way many of us in the spectrum feel about our special interests, unavailable to develop them under the crushing weight of a system that demands productivity out of us.

As for her asexuality, the bread and butter of this post, from the moment I began to sketch her first drafts, I wrote her as asexual on a gray area, which correlates with her autism, just like in my very own experience. Her general reclusiveness, the harshness she feels on interaction with another people, does cause her a certain yearning to be loved by someone quite close, and that someone is a shepherdess from a land afar, called Marcela. She visits her from time to time, to spend some lovely days out shepherding together. I never thought of them as girlfriends, nor as close friends, because I never felt like labeling these two would be half interesting. While I never actually made it canonical, both of them can be read as aromantic. My own experience with aromanticism, discovering I was on that spectrum, that romantic love was a world I didn’t quite understand but I was capable of loving someone back very dearly, influenced that ambiguous subtlety between the two quite a lot. Regarding explicit sex, while Marcela certainly isn’t asexual, and in fact, is quite promiscuous, she understands Uxue’s needs due to her good socialization skills, and such needs are to stay away from conventional sex. Uxue, much like me, doesn’t generally like being touched, yet she loves physical contact with someone she trusts a lot, and feels comfortable engaging in soft displays of affection and vulnerability. Much like a lot of us autistic folks around, Uxue has a hard time displaying affection in standard ways, but I intentionally wanted to write her as a woman of many faces. She might be solitary and sometimes uncaring, but she is terminally, tragically sweet, even though one might have to peel off a lot of layers before seeing that side of her. This is something I wrote for her after yours truly met the person who did tear down my own barriers. Here are these two on my sketchbook:

But what’s these strange names and strange clothes Uxue is rocking around? As an end note, if I may, I’ll nerd out about the place she’s from. In this universe, a vague post-apocalyptic fantasy, the factions’ culture, dressing customs, and bestiary, are based off very loose interpretations of Iberian pre-roman folklore and more recent, regional folklores. Uxue belongs to a tribe which is vaguely based off the valley of Roncal, in Navarra. Here are some very loose sketches of her general Basque-inspired vibes.

Her name, in Basque, means “dove”. One must point out that Navarra and the Basque country, while sharing a language, have different cultural customs and identities. Although, in the story, Uxue’s faction, especially regarding the bestiary, is an amalgamation of both. Uxue is a good gunslinger because her tribe has a tradition of solving the problem of menacing creatures, all pulled from Basque-Navarrese folktales, by prioritizing speed and aim. This was an idea that came to me after investigating the area to make the factions. Near Roncal, there’s the royal arms factory of Orbaizeta, one of the most important weapon manufactories of Spain during the late 18th to late 19th centuries. Today, it’s abandoned and overgrown. That and a general knowledge among the Spanish that Basques have a tradition of steelworking, gave me the idea of a post-apocalyptic culture famous for the quality of their guns and the skill of the wielders.

And that's all, folks!

Don't get spooked!~

#acespec OC #ace week 2023 #oc #artists on tumblr #asexual characters #queer #LGBTQIA+#queer artist #art

39 notes · View notes

cattocavo · 7 months ago

Text

Six sketch sunday

Thanks so much for tagging me @thewholelemon

I actually have something pretty exciting to share if i do say so myself!

In november 2022 i did a master study of romeo and juliet by frank bernard dicksee. I was very happy with it. But over time I’ve become less and less happy with it, specifically how baz looks :((

This is due to the fact that i traced A LOT in late 2022 (I was 15 ok, I’m sure we’ve all had one of those phases😭) I traced the whole painting, but baz was hard bc the original painting featured a woman, and her whole figure was covered by a white loose dress. 2022 me did their best interpreting the shapes and forming a new body for baz, but honestly they didn’t do it very well. Ive hated Baz’s face and body for a while now, but still loved simon and the painting in general. Which is why I came to the conclusion that for me to be at peace and happy with it again, I have to remaster it!

And again I’ve had this on my mind for a while now, mulling it over, because it’s quite a big project. But 7 days ago i finalized my decision and started looking at references and whatnot. It took me so long to find references bc I was confused of the angle of Juliet’s head in the original painting (so I’ve changed the angle whoops) and i needed to make sense of it all. Before i knew it i had spent 5 hours (according to procreates tracker) drawing, and literally nothing had changed.. but then i spent like 2 hours more and THAT did it. It was like digging a whole in the ground searching for water. You dig a little and nothing happens, and when you finally dig deep enough the water reveals itself like a goldmine.

Anyways, i haven’t gotten around to do any recoloring yet, so ill show you the sketch (ahem, traced) of my 2022 version versus what I have now

The one on the left is the 2022 version. The one on the right is the current sketch.

I’m trying to incorporate a lot more body language from baz this time around. I think the old sketch of baz was very rigid. His torso is very short 💀 my biggest issue was his face though. It was far too feminine. The bone structure wasn’t exactly giving baz, in fact the whole face didn’t look like baz to me. The expression also bothered me, it was too superficial. Like it’s exactly the predictable expression you expect him to have. I tried to spice it up in the new version by making him appear a bit more anguished. It’s romeo and juliet after all.

Im currently looking at references to what clothes he should be wearing (don’t worry, i wont cover up his sleeves. Even if it’s more time period accurate) so if y’all have any inspo or suggestions, feel free to share them with me!

While baz is the inly thing getting completely redone, I’m also touching up some other thins. Just giving it a more refined, finished look overall. The plants in the original were really messily done, so i’m gonna work a lot on those. 2022 me also slacked on the curtains, so I’m repainting those to match the original frank bernard painting.

Once I’m done with it all i think i might sell some prints. Ive gotten requests to sell prints of this one before, but never really got around to do more than research. If i do make prints, I’m a bit worried they’ll all go to waste bc they’ll have to be shipped from denmark, and shipping in expensive :(( (I’ve tried to set up middlemen and it didn’t work for me. Red bubble wont even allow me to add a credit card😬) but if y’all are still interested in prints, do let me know! Ill definitely put in more of an effort to make it happen if i know it wont be in vain :))

Thats all from me for today :3 see ya next time

(Also check out what my COBB partner @thewholelemon is doing! It’s gonna be so good!)

Tags! @monbons @raenestee @j-nipper-95 @orange-peony

Id love to see what y’all are doing!

#simon snow #baz pitch #carry on #simon snow salisbury #fanart #simon snow fanart #any way the wind blows #wayward son #art #carry on fanart #romeo and juliet #sir francis dicksee #frank dicksee #baz pitch fanart #classical painting redraw #classical art #agatha wellbelove #penelope bunce #the mage

18 notes · View notes

psychewritesbs · 9 months ago

Note

Unpopular opinion in the fandom right now, but I don't think Megumi becoming a villain is, if at all, plausible. It would be way too typical for Gege and very obvious.

I don't think he'll get out unscathed either and that a corruption arc is likely to happen, but in jjk's case this 'corruption' may be interpreted as the need to confront the worst version of one's self in order to reach completion. Kind of like a union of opposites (like how he got Totality after white divine dog got killed).

Don't know how Gege will do it but Megumi's upcoming arc might just make him the best character this series has to offer, and he's pretty much already on the way there.

Dear anon, I want you to know you are EVIL* for inducing the brain rot. Your cunning took you to the top of the ask queue. I have things I should be prioritizing, and yet here we are--me gladly taking the bait you so generously placed in my inbox lol.

You see, the thing is... yeah, my agenda is that I want to see Megumi go feral and do feral Megumi-things and be a menace. To whom? I'm torn 50/50 on whether I want him to be so distraught that he turns against everyone, including Sukuna, or whether I want him to shred Sukuna to pieces only. There's absolutely no denying that. But I suspect you might be right and I had already thought something similar might be the case.

I still think Megumi needs to take responsibility for himself, after all, him becoming or not becoming a "villain" and taking responsibility for himself are not mutually exclusive. But...

Evil*-induced word vomit under the cut.

... there's just something about Megumi right now that is asking for healing and self-acceptance and, yeah... other than the fact that Megumi going full on villain is an "obvious" outcome, a "cliché/obvious villain" arc feels kind of jarring rn if I'm honest. And while he could still become a "villain" and redeem himself (which is where I'd put my money--"corruption and redemption" arc)... idk anon.

I'm kind of with you actually? And at the same time I feel like being a "villain" in jjk is far more nuanced than just doing "#evil things".

Again. I want to see Megumi be selfish and go feral. But I really think right now the situation is calling for Megumi accepting everything he doesn't like about himself. Could he just loose his poop and go on a killing spree and then redeem himself? Sure.

I like the whole idea that someone you saved could hurt others. People have brought this up a lot recently.

But something that I can't quite put my finger on feels like you might be onto something.

Anyways, there's layers to your ask. Let's peel them back.

What if the corruption part of the arc was getting possessed by Sukuna?

Notice how the parallel between Toji and Megumi and them going on a path of carnage has to do with being "unconscious".

To be more specific, ever since Megumi got possessed I've been wondering whether the possession itself wasn't meant to be the corruption arc in question. As you say, "'corruption' may be interpreted as the need to confront the worst version of one's self in order to reach completion" and I couldn't agree more with you.

I wonder if Gege isn't telling us that Sukuna is what Megumi could be if only he got out of his own way. Tons of parallels to support this idea. But I think particularly relevant to this is that when we are "unconscious" to our potential and who we are, not only do we call what happens to us "fate", our sense of self is vulnerable to corruption from outside sources.

In Megumi's case, we're talking about Sukuna possessing his body because Megumi had a tendency to live for others and reject aspects of himself that he projected onto others. Cue that one panel showing "learned helplessness":

So... for a very long time I've been wondering whether getting possessed by a demonic force means his soul was corrupted.

Jacob's Ladder

Here I go talking about Jacob's Ladder again. Like... don't I have something better to talk about?

NO!

Guys. Seriously. Jacob's Ladder (1990) is... just do yourself a favor and go watch it and then watch videos analyzing it because I can't do the themes in it justice if I'm honest.

What I'll say about it for now is that this movie is a bit of a metaphor about the Tibetan Book of the Dead. Now, there are archetypal similarities between the stages of death according to the Tibetan Book of the Dead and Dante's Inferno in the Divine Comedy. This is relevant because Gege gave us two references to Dante's Inferno.

The first is that the purpose of the bath is "to be near evil" in the official translation.

But if I remember correctly, the Japanese raw uses the kanji for "beast" or something like that. Don't quote me on it. But the thing here is that at the very bottom of hell in the Divine Comedy, Dante meets the Devil.

The second reference is a little more of a leap in logic but we see it in the presence of Urizen's compass in the panel showing us Jacob's Ladder. Urizen is a character by William Blake who represents "God" and "good" as "reason". Blake is also the author of a painting depicting the Biblical "Jacob's Ladder". At the top of Biblical Jacob's Ladder and after climbing out of the Inferno, there is "God".

Gege dropping these references is interesting because they go back to the idea of good vs. evil and jjk "villains". More on villains in a bit.

That said. I'm going to leave this here just for funsies:

Jacob: I was in hell... it's all pain. Louie: You ever read Meister Eckhart?... Ekhart saw hell too. You know what he said? He said the only thing that burns in hell is the part of you that won't let go of your life. Your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away. But they're not punishing you, he said. They're freeing your soul... so the way he sees it, if you're frightened of dying and you're holding on, you see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels freeing you from the earth. It's just a matter of how you look at it. That's all.

What does it mean to be a "villain" in jjk?

Last thing I will say about this evil* ramble is that "villain" and "evil" are used in a very interesting way in jjk. The Jacob's Ladder reference specifically is very interesting because, according to what I shared above, going through hell can set you free from reason and attachments.

And villains and evil in jjk simply means "following your desires without regard for others." Villains have no attachments to others and are therefore freer to be themselves than others who do. This is, of course, exaggerated and blown out of proportion in jjk:

Sukuna emphasizes why extreme individualism (lack of regard for others) as "evil" is "bad". But I think that what Gege is actually doing with his villains is criticizing the collectivistic mindset in Japan: or "there is nothing wrong with leaving your attachment to others behind, being selfish, and doing what you desire, as long as you live and let live".

Where Sukuna says "if you're in my way I'll kill you," Megumi says "I won't kill you, so please don't kill me."

ANYWAYS. All that to say... I still want to see Megumi be selfish in the pursuit of what he desires, however that looks like. If that makes him a "villain", then so be it. He's already a more nuanced "villain" than Sukuna anyways because he is neither "good" or "evil".

And I think that's because Sukuna is missing one key ingredient...

Megumi's heart

(source)

I think D and I had this conversation after chapter 248 dropped? Remember I mentioned Sukuna's body language and thought patterns are unequivocally Megumi? If I remember correctly this conversation is in regard to that.

I haven't seen/read HxH so I can't speak to what D is talking about, but something about it rings TRUE.

And this is when I realized that, while I want to see Megumi do the "villain" thing, it rings more true that the corruption arc is behind us and now it becomes about Megumi's healing.

Just the way I had a weird intuition about something ominous happening to Megumi way back when, I smell a blessing from a mile away. Or as you said, "Don't know how Gege will do it but Megumi's upcoming arc might just make him the best character this series has to offer, and he's pretty much already on the way there."

ANON. YOU ARE EVIL for sending me this but I love you all the more for it. Thank you! As per usual, hope this made sense? LOL if I rambled too much and wasn't able to justify my points, I blame it on you for encouraging the brain rot before I finished cooking.

#ask the mental gymnastics anime girl #megumi kaisen #god i love jujutsu kaisen

12 notes · View notes