#a thing to ponder on for later..
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So let's talk Cuphead's kills
I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE I NEED TO YAP!!! REREAD BE DAMNED I NEED TO SPEAK!!!!
Alrighty so spoilers for Inky Mystery, buckle up this is going to be a long one
Okay so I was going to my fav chapters and doing some rereads
And I'm going rabid about Chapter 177: A Broken Cup and it made me also realize some things with Chapter 334: Can't Sleep a Wink
Now to start off with 334 always bugged me, it felt so out of nowhere. I mean, Cup is sleeping around with girls, being Bendy's wingman and before that doing Fanny favors? Sure there was the gangs but it felt sudden that Cup just killed Wink not only that but that murder was much more emotionally involved then his other jobs. Why?
At first I could believe it's his overprotective streak, but now I think it might be something else, because I reread Chapter 177, where he's getting taunted by the Night Terror. And when I read him being taunted I took it all as lies but during my reread...
How much of Wink's death was really the B-Bros protection? How much of it was for Wilson? Was it really that? Or was it something else?
Much earlier in the story it's mentioned Cuphead laughed at hurting and killing people. But we know he didn't enjoy it, it haunts him. His guilt and regret is mentioned frequently. He even remembers all of his victims.
So why? Why is there so much emphasis in the Labrynth that Cuphead is not just a killer but a killer who likes his job? When he has this much guilt and regret? When he remembers all of their screams and deaths?
Because it's how he copes. He was raised as a killer, it's what he's good at and he also knows that, when it comes to the underworld, an easy solution.
The events surrounding this chapter was more then just Cuphead going through a playboy era with his friend Bendy. The house stresses him out, he can't go there now after the events that happened with Holly. So he went to the Candy Shop, except then Fanny hurt and betrayed him. He doesn't have anywhere to go so he's coping in the worst ways possible.
Violence and women. Now this isn't my post where I talk about how using sex is a coping mechanism is a horrible idea, so I'll move on from that. But let's look at that quote again "I've need something to hit for awhile".
He's doing it as a stress relief. He can't figure things out with Fanny, he can't help his friend with his guilt and fears of killing angels, he can't do anything about the deal with Marcus, the ink machine, the fact he's trapped as the "Devil's Dog".
But he can kill Winky. Winky has his goons all over the house. Winky killed Wilson which caused all his friends pain, Winky tried to attack his friends, Winky has answers to his questions, Winky is a problem. So he takes it out on Winky. He wasn't ever intending of letting Winky go easy, and he especially wasn't planning it after his suspicions were true. Why would he mention he works for the Devil otherwise?
Why did he leave Mugman home? Because Mugs would stop him. He didn't want to be stopped. It's why he doesn't tell anyone about it or Darius after. Sure Darius is a target, and I'm sure information was also a target. But that wasn't the only reason.
But he doesn't want to admit how easy it is for him to kill, the relief it gives. And how guilty he feels afterwards.
Because he doesn't even want to address it's his fault. He did what he had to. He doesn't want to believe what sort of person he is, he doesn't want to remember all the things he's done. He tries to forget. It's not his fault, he was protecting his brother. He was told to by the Devil. He did what he had to. Didn't want to acknowledge the times he had fun tormenting people, to acknowledge how good he is at being a monster [since deep down, that's how he sees himself], and he especially didn't want to acknowledge he killed when he didn't have to. That he took the "easy" way to do things.
He did what he had to. That's what he needs to believe.
#orb ponders#the inky mystery#This amongst like 3 other things has been bouncing in my head for days#I finally snapped this is me snapping guys#Anyway this isn't me bashing on Cuphead#But noting his bad coping skills he got from his upbringing#Later I'll go on a rant about how if something is genuinely distressing to Cup he ignores it#And how he's in a cycle of being viewed as a monster and then doing horrible things because hes seen as a monster#And how Holly especially ties into that#Cup: If I pretend it's not there then its not real#Everyone side eyeing him:
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..Nothing at all?
#my art#chilaios#tragedy au#hey hey hi come into this cave with me. It’s safe don’t worry. Yeah Idk the way out why do you ask. No no don’t run you’re here now#dungeon meshi#laichil#dunmeshi#chilchuck tims#laios touden#laios#chilchuck#hey also there’s a broken heart looking thing here and yeah that’s not an accident I’m a little creature who likes stuffing stupid symbolis#in. yeah#ALTHOUGH. Now thinking. If you really think about it. If you extend meanings. If you ponder. If you know the context and if you connect the#heartbeat headcannon then it can be a little. A little thing into the au part of this#haha. Lies facedown and bleeds#actually I was undecided if the au part was when Chilchuck begs Laios to believe him that he’s <BEEP> or some later point when Laios’s back#& <WILHELM SCREAM>#probably the first one though. so …….#HAHa ANYWAY. Have fun with this. Or don’t. Idk if you got here by the main tag or by chilaios or what#But yeah#Yipee cartwheels away back into the trench#oh and#id in alt text#I don’t think I’m forgetting any tags so off you go little page of pain
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I just want my passion back man idk why that's so much to ask for
#pom ponders#personal#my favorite part of the day used to be any extra time i had to write#i desperately miss the days where i woke up early all on my own excited because it meant extra time to write#now even just thinking about writing can make me so tired and drained#i can't write anymore and I'm so upset about it#I've spent the last four months sobbing because it's basically ruined for me#i was so happy...i want it back#i still have stories to tell and i love them so much#but trying to get them out has turned into a chore and i feel like I've lost a part of myself#some days i feel so sick over it that i can barely eat#I've lost so much sleep over this#it's not fair...i didn't do anything wrong...#I'm still being punished for doing what was ultimately the right thing and i don't understand#i want to want to write again#delete later
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i took this screenshot while watching sakura yesterday bc i liked the lighting and pose, but it's been on my mind all freaking day. the reason why kara's the only one still fucking around & drinking with his biker buddies is because that phone call he ran to get was a rejection. he tried to find something to do to help out, but failed. he struggled to find work back in s1, too, so it makes me wonder if he seemed to give up bc he doubted if he could actually land a job like his brothers...
#sorry this bit has me in the same fucking pose as kara here. he's got me pondering#to be fair choro's also still unemployed in the episode but she is shown to be job hunting while kara's doing fuck all on screen#( i think he's still helping around the house at least tho )#also i felt kinda bad for kara when he was with his biker buddies and he still got called painful#yeah that's his thing but ichi going '' he gets treated the same no matter where he goes '' lowkey stung my heart idk#anyways i finished the fake screenshot so it's got the story behind it on my mind. infer what you will from me mentioning this here :)#i'll post it later today bc i'm about to pass out and idk what to write for the caption rn#hopefully this post still makes some sense despite my mild sleep deprivation#osmt#karamatsu#mj rambles
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I have not been so physically unwell about a ship as chronohaul in a long, long time.
#I think I huave covid#I could try and form a coherent thought about this but god I cannot#knives and legato from trigun stampede were only the beginning of my problems#it's always the right-hand man and the flesh manipulation#anyone who goes “I do not understand the appeal” is valid but also#ARE YOU SEEING THE COLLARED DOG DYNAMIC HERE?#DO YOU SEE WITH YOUR EYES THESE TWO CHARACTERS#Can you imagine. Can you imagine Hari watching the person he's known for so long disappear slowly#Can you imagine Kai molding Hari into something more attuned to him for years and years until that boy on the balcony is dead#I am not an apologist for these two I think they should be euthanized with me#There is no one I can talk to about them and I think I'm gradually losing it but at least the art that I am creating looks cool#Devotion. And loyalty. The closest thing to love I'll get from you is knowing you know I will die for you#morals and ethics are just about irrelevant#it's so good reciprocated it's so good unreciprocated I want them atomized#Canary in a coal mine coded.#Probably going to delete this later I just need to talk or I'll explode#Being contented with being just Useful to someone but your heart is always hoping there's the smallest chance you'll one day be more#orb ponders
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guys I fucked up..
thought it would be cool for me n my friend to "mark eachother" w my deodorant in the park near school (I had it in my pe kit) and uhhh
mb y'all (im so cooked 💀)
#karmaajr rambles#deodorant#deodorant burn#i have another one on my right arm#it isn't that bad though#do y'all think this is bad#pls be honest#anyways don't question the arm hair 🥰🥰#IT'S IN MY GENES#anyways yeah#impulsive#damn my stupidity#i always regret this things after#y'all istg if I have to go to the hospital...#no im actually cooked tho#if that happens#expect never to hear from me again#mediblr#medical health#medical help#tumblr help#PLSSS#I REALLY NEED THIS NOT TO BE A BIG DEAL#I GOT THE IDEA FROM MY OTHER FRIEND#SHE DID IT A FEW WEEKS AGO OUT OF CURIOUSITY (and let go 6-7 seconds later) AND AFTER TOLD ME NOT TO WHEN I PONDERED ALOUD (accidnerally#) AND YE I FUCKED UP#send help#tw self harm#lowkey did it for the adrenaline yall mbbbb 😔😔😔 (it genuinley felt like how it used to feel when i cut myself and that lowkey excited me)#tw stupid bitch
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Meat Marionette #11?
Thinkin about the rogues in this Au, and like, the difference between their relationship with the bats vs this Au.
For example, Selina. I’ll admit I take a bit of inspiration from the 2022 movie and mix it with comic depictions along with the different cartoons, which honestly isn’t too different from each other by too much. Now, I don’t think that Catwoman would flirt with this version of Batman, what with his body being a meat puppet that is visibly not human and off putting. There’s also the fact that she would have been an early-ish rogue of his, at least in order of encounters. Which means that she probably encounters the Bat for the first time while Bruce was still getting used to said gifted body, which in turn was probably terrifying. So there’s still a cat and mouse game happening, but it’s more akin to Selina doing her darn best to avoid the Bat no matter what, because to her it isn’t above trying to kill. It’s like seeing a lion where you figure you’re safe at this distance, until it starts moving and you realize that you are definitely not far enough away.
Another rogue that I am thinking of is Harvey and Two-Face (Which DC, give Two-Face a proper name :/ he’s his own dude even if they share a body). Harvey was best friends with Bruce, hell they were practically high-school sweethearts in some cases! And Bruce still visits him in Arkham, canonically still talks and interacts with both his friend and TF. Now if anyone is going to notice the changes to Bruce, it’s going to be Harvey. He’s going to be the first to notice how Bruce’s movements are now dangerous and downright predatory, with too much grace even for a dancer or martial artist. There’s something familiar about that movement, and Harvey isn’t an idiot, TF isn’t one either. They know there’s something wrong with Bruce even if he insists he’s fine. In canon Harvey straight up broke down and cried when he found out Bruce was Batman, so I’m wondering what their reaction to this version of the bat would be…
There’s also rogues like the Riddler and the Joker who are downright obsessed with Batman, but would they still be with this one? I could see Joker slowly becoming obsessed as the creatures continue to thwart him over and over again, but I’m still rotating Riddler.
But y’know who would definitely be obsessed with the batclan?
Scarecrow. The man is obsessed with studying fear, with the effects it has and how to cause it. So the bats, who bring terror wherever they go, with something about them continuously tingling at the back of ones’ more instinctive mind that this is something to fear? He would be utterly enthralled, he’d need to know more, he’d need to know Everything. Especially if his fear toxin doesn’t work right on them. After all, how would a gas effect something without lungs? How can you inject something that doesn’t have blood, that’s not quite alive, not in the way that we as humans understand? How can you cause fear of something that has stared into the Tunnels’ heart and lived? Or something like that lol.
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AU is a combo of my cryptid batfam and @phoenixcatch7 's Possessed Doll au, go check them out, they're amazing
#rambles#meat marionette au#batman au#I am just pondering how the dynamics with certain rogues are effected#Like Harley and Bruce both went to medschool around the same time and definitely could've shared classes#Like mans is surprisingly connected directly to so many of his rogues#Not to mention the main thing that got me pondering this being the Al Ghuls#Like in my Genesis story I have Damian created from stolen blood since they don't know that the bat is the same as bruce#But idk if this would also happen in this AU or not seeing as the meat puppets don't exactly have blood per se#But maybe it could have something to do with them literally drinking lazarus water too#hngh i have no idea what to do with them :/#batman#batfam#cryptid batman#cryptid batfam#wayne family#gotham rogues#But seriously pondering about their relationships#Not just the rogues but I'll probably elaborate more on that later#like for example would Dick found the Titans when he doesn't have a falling out with Bruce?#hm
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making a bday ppt for my bf 🥹
#i made one for him back when we were 17 and it even had animations and everything#i didnt know how to use canva then and also didnt have ppt on my laptop so i learned using fucking kEYNOTE#anyway . i think bringing the concept back 7 yrs later is cute 🥹#im planning to make it ppt games this time tho#no animations for me NOPE#i compiled a bunch of letters and things from his friends that i plan to put into fun activities he can interact with 🥹#maybe i should sharescreen with him and present it...#thoughts to ponder on#i talked so much again#lovebug
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probably one of the most important verses in terminus i think and yeah, it’s just kuukou’s way of life but also it’s kuukou’s way of life lmao
in probably over half of the stories kuukou’s in, there’s a point of how kuukou’s too inexperienced to be able to guide/lead properly;
he leaves home to show how good of a leader he is and finds out real quick lol
shakku assigns jyushi’s training to kuukou so he can be better
kuukou hits a wall training jyushi bc he’s relying on the only experience he’s had with training and isn’t looking at jyushi properly
that ‘blindness’ is the root of his conflict in harmonious cooperation, he blindly assumes he can solve jyushi and hitoya’s problems really quick and shakku literally chews him out over it, saying he’s young and to value the journey getting there (it also bears pointing out that the above verse is kuukou not rushing ahead as means of enrichment, but walking and resting)
i personally believe the curry drama tracks have been hinting at this round of drama track developments, and y’all don’t understand lmao, the way jyushi and hitoya were thinking it’d be nice if the people eating their curry could feel the effort that went into it was followed by the most poignant silence, only for kuukou to grouch there’s no point if they aren’t experiencing it themselves just feels like it’s relevant lol
like it all just comes back to kuukou and using his experience to guide. so about that ‘yesterday’s shaky retreat’ verse in terminus, it was pointed out that kuukou had said something very similar in young gun of the sun
and young gun of the sun is literally kuukou guiding based on how he knows what it’s like to suffer (and to feel so bad about a mistake he wants to die), so all this to say i think that verse is literally nothing but kuukou finding forgiveness in himself for something he did, and maybe that past mistake was so severe he thought the end of his life was the best answer
#vee queued to fill the void#and there’s always that radio question i always wonder about lol#about a fellow monk family whose heir wanted to do his own thing and kuukou said he should bc they tend to come back later in life#that’s that youth that’s usually in conjunction with kuukou being hinted i think lol#does the amount of death motifs kuukou has shake you to your core lol it does for me#the terminus big death motif in this preview is the sal tree#there is a story that tells when the buddha’s died he passed away under a pair of sal trees and went to nirvana#kuukou is pondering the uncertainty of life under a sal tree#and then in kaigen kuukou mentions the red spider lily of death and says as long as you bloom it’s proof of existence#and it weirdly parallels kuukou telling ichiro that they should name their duo bc it would be proof that it existed#it’s something that niggles at the back of my head lol#like that kaigen verse in specific feels like kuukou carrying death carved on his chest#so much to analyse so little time lol~
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Day 2 - Angel
#I don't know if it makes sense but#Michael Salvius is like an angel from earth#and trees are from earth#and that is basically it#hehe#I promise not all drawings are about people pondering about things#I have a few fun ones coming later this week#warrior nun#warrior nun fanart#michael salvius#warrior nun inktober#inktober#wn inktober#digital art
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When my s/i becomes Chester's fairy he can just like, wish for new braces when he needs them and then maybe his dad can afford yanno. A house 😂😂 or even an apartment!
Hell, he can wish his teeth all better! In fact? Why doesn't Timmy do that???
#jane journals#self insert talk#silly#platonic f/o#familial f/o#im gonna have to come up with some tags!!#ill do that later#i know the timmy thing has been pondered by many a fan by now 😂😂 theyre just some thoughts i had while at work!!#thats probably where all the money is going if any#but yeah i guess timmy just likes his teeth the way they are. gives him character
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everybody look away im trying to figure this out....
okay the main thing i need to do is brush my teeth which probably doesn't seem that serious but i really need to hype myself up so it's going to the top of the list.
secondly (i probably won't do this secondly) i need to clean my room. and that doesnt mean just put things away i need to Actually clean it. vacuum and shit. this will be nice for the days (every day 🥲) i feel so horribly tired after minute task and i need to lay down for 2 hours about it ← i've been struggling with this more lately and having a clean space will probably make me feel atleast a Little bit better. not enough to help physically but at least i won't be going out of my mind because my room is a mess kdhskdhjdd
ah okay what else . ermmmmmm
#well i'll come back to this later#this is like texting my shopping list to my gf#also i think writing out my reasoning for wanting to complete each of my tasks helps me stay on track bc it kinda drives home the fact#that there are Real reasons i need to do each of these things#much to ponder#raypost
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It's macro
#?#my art#character: calico#furry#Still have much to study and ponder. Started out more obvious but i was compelled by the orb instead of his normal body.#I struggle to emphasize scale from my perspective which is.. the thing ... i'll give it more tries later
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got a new job at the worst time bc how am i supposed to be productive knowing that last night sleep token opened with tndnbtg and closed with EUCLID?? i need three to five business days to process actually
#literally cried last night seeing the setlist including euclid and MISSING LIMBS!!!??????#saw a video from missing limbs this morning and i actually had to close it out holy shit i can't handle this right now#but everybody cheer for em finally being employed again!!!! taking my chronically online ass more offline will be very good very healthy#i'll be saving things to lose my mind over later <3#em's ponderings
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mr marvel jesus sir, you made it so much worse with your newest movie fyi lol
#deadpool#jercy watches dp#.apologies for filling up the tag but this needs its own separate post for me to ponder on later lol#jercy liveblogs things
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#So I'm putting all this in tags because I'd prefer it not get out into wider Tumblr. I pondered even posting it but I think some of y'all#are following the drama and/or praying for my family so I figured I'd post an update. Just pretend there are commas and it's all readable.#Got a hearing date today. February 6th. Now I need to get affidavits and medical records. Not much to do in the way of affidavits because#either he made sure no one saw anything or I made sure. (Shame is a heckuva thing.) I really need the medical records from the assault.#Can't get them because I am currently without ID. I am currently without ID because I have had a beginner's permit for ~10 years now and#those have to be renewed in-person every year. Can't get to DMV to get it renewed because... no car. Can't use Uber because you have to#provide your own car seats and where am I going to put three car seats while I'm at the DMV? Can't use bus because... bus lines.#...it's stressful.#Also I'm still not sure about the theology of all this but it's also impossible not to see the Hand of God in freeing me and the boys from#this man so either God will help me work out the theology of it later or I'll ask Him when I get to Heaven.#Practically speaking I will not ever permit him and the boys unsupervised contact again if I can help it because he WILL neglect them#at best and physically hurt them for his own amusement and/or beat them up because of his temper at worst.#...anyway any and all prayers are appreciated.
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