#a spring poem on a fall day

[despondentbeauty]

We are approaching the second spring since I’ve fallen in love with you. And I promise to keep falling in love with you with every bird chirping. With every flower blooming. Every sunset. I’ll love you through this growthful spring. I’ll love you more through the heat of July and continue to do so when the leaves start to fall in September. Even during the coldest nights of December, the warmth of my love will remain. I’ll love you through every season and every weather because my love for you is louder than thunder and provides shelter through rain.

— I love you, forever.

[chameleon3]

i’m so excited for songwriting season i don’t think yall understand

[manwizstud]

Living the moment as if it's the last

May peace be with all

Each Act The Last Act Of Life Each Act A Poetry Of Peace - Dr Devang H Dattani

Good Morning

Quote / Poem / Poetry / Quotes Of 

Bhagwan Sri Sri Sri

Doctor Devang H Dattani

Infinite SriSriSri DDD

Posted By TheBlissCity DDD Team

See The Media Photo Video For

Quoteoftheday

God Morning

#act , #bliss , #TheBlissCity , #philosophy , #mindfulness , #DrDevangHDattani , #nature , #awareness , #InfiniteSriSriSriDDD , #quotes , #life , #art , #zen , #awakening , #quote , #spiritual , #photography , #Video , #meditation , #psychology , #poem , #poetry , #motivation , #inspiration , #quoteoftheday , #love , #words , #thoughts , #joy , #pun , #enlightenment , #flowers , #last , #consciousness , #flower , #lanscape , #peace , #fun , #panorama , #sunset , #mountain , #photooftheday , #video post , #clouds , #birds , #sun

[eraenaa]

Masterlist

Helloooo! I'm Eraena, a college student who loves to write! Here's the masterlist of my works! (Aemond Targaryen, Feyd Rautha, Rafe Cameron, and Aegon Targaryen)

Related Blogs: @romanteacism - All things Aemond Targaryen @rafeacs - All things Rafe Cameron

Tag List

Cheat Sheet:

🏙️ - Modern AU

🐉 - Fire and Blood AU

🏛️ - Greek Mythology AU

🤍 - Personal Fave

👑 - Popular

U.N.I. Aemond Targaryen X Reader 🏙️ Synopsis: Where one of the sons of your mother’s estranged best friend attends the same university as you, and did I mention you were the reason why he lost his eye? 

From The Underworld and Beneath Aemond Targaryen x Reader 🏛️ 🤍 Synopsis: You, the Goddess of Spring, were captured by the King of the Underworld, who was intent on keeping you there.

My Knight in Darkened Armor Knight Aemond Targaryen x Princess Reader 🐉 🤍 Synopsis: Ser Aemond Targaryen has been tasked to be the sworn protector of a princess who is overly curious about life beyond the castle walls and has bribed him to escort her to the city in exchange for anything he desires. She just did not know that what he desired was her.

A Bastard's Bride, A Dragon's Desire Aemond Targaryen x Princess Reader 🐉 Synopsis: They have betrothed you to Jacaerys as a way of securing a line to the throne if they fail in usurping your half-sister’s crown. Your older brother Aemond was livid at the decision.

Flipped Aemond Targaryen X Reader 🏙️ 🤍 Synopsis: You had been infatuated with Aemond since you two were children. You could not remember a day when you did not feel anything but adoration for him— not until recently. When something in you turned indifferent, it did not go unnoticed by Aemond, who had never been a fan of change. 

Stereotypical Aemond, Son of Ares x Reader, Daughter of Aphrodite 🏛️ Synopsis: The daughter of Aphrodite falls for one of the sons of Ares— the second coming of their parents. 

One More Night Aemond Targaryen X Reader 🏙️ Synopsis: You were quick to leave after a one night stand, leaving Aemond dissatisfied, for he wanted so much more. When he found you again, he was sure to never let you go. 

The Prince and the Poet Aemond Targaryen X Lannister Reader 🐉 Synopsis: It is established that Prince Aemond hates poems and sonnets; it was just a pity that you adored them. 

Jealousy, Jealousy Aemond, Son of Ares x Reader, Daughter of Aphrodite 🏛️ Synopsis: It’s frustratingly hard to keep admirers and doubts away when you and your partner are the most attractive and powerful Demi-Gods in camp.

Most Ardently Aemond Targaryen X Tyrell Reader 🐉 Synopsis: Prince Aemond Targaryen had accompanied his younger brother to Highgarden in hopes of securing Daeron a wife— he did not expect he would want to secure a wife for himself as well. 

The Prince's Prize Aemond Targaryen X Riverlady Reader 🐉 Synopsis: After his victories in the Riverlands, Prince Aemond Targaryen sought for a trophy— his spoils of war. He sought for you, the daughter of the lord who hosted him whilst he wagged his war.

But Daddy, I Love Him Aemond Targaryen X Niece Reader 🐉 🤍 👑 Synopsis: When the favored daughter of Daemon Targaryen falls for the favored son of Alicent Hightower, the Rogue Prince does everything he can to ensure that a union between the two of you will never happen. 

Gold Rush Aemond Targaryen X Lannister Reader 🐉 🤍 👑 Synopsis: Everybody wants you, and I don’t like a gold rush.

Desperate Requirement Slytherin Aemond Targaryen x Reader 🏙️ Synopsis: It’s hard being horny at Hogwarts. Luckily, you and Aemond always found a way to relieve your needs.

Mine Aemond Targaryen x Wife Reader 🐉 👑 Synopsis: You are the best thing that has ever been Aemond’s, which is why you cannot really blame him for being so possessive and cautious not to lose you. 

Loathe to Love Aemond Targaryen x Strong Reader 🐉 🤍 👑 Synopsis: Seeking forgiveness is not a thing Aemond bothers himself with, but that quickly changes when he deeply offended you.

King of My Heart King Aemond Targaryen x Queen Reader 🐉 👑 Synopsis: Marriage, miscarriage, and the monarchy… how would you and your husband fare to them all?

Bound By Blood Aemond Targaryen x Princess Reader 🐉 🤍 👑 Synopsis: They can no longer hinder Aemond from taking whatever he wants, and you are the only one he desperately wants. 

Tea Party Aemond Targaryen x Stark Reader 🌃 Synopsis: Aemond convinces you to let Helaena join your group’s exclusive tea party, using any means necessary just for you to agree. 

Please Please Please Aemond Targaryen X Lannister Reader 🌃Synopsis: Heartbreak is one thing; my ego’s another. I beg you, don't embarrass me, motherfucker.

Unexpected Affections Aemond Targaryen X Tyrell Reader 🐉 👑 Synopsis: With just a smile, you had managed to bewitch and enthrall the stoic and cold prince. 

Blessed Curse Aemond Targaryen x Strong Reader 🐉 👑 Synopsis: When a marriage between you and Aemond was arranged and forced by your grandsire, conflicting emotions arise, but which one will loom greater? Loathing or Love?

Parting Gift Aemond Targaryen X Reader x Aegon Targaryen 🐉 🤍 👑 Synopsis: Aegon asks for a parting gift from his younger brother and his beloved wife: One night with you in exchange for the throne. 

Silent Passions Aemond Targaryen X Tyrell Reader 🐉 👑 Synopsis: You and Aemond had been promised to one another before you were even born. And when the time came for you to meet, all were curious to see what was to come when soon to be spouses only shared one thing in common: your want of silence. 

Virginal Whore Aemond Targaryen X Celtigar Reader 🐉 👑 Synopsis: Prince Aemond sets out to find a whore to warm his bed; he finds a virgin instead. 

Worth The Price Aemond Targaryen X Lannister Reader 🐉 🤍 👑 Synopsis: Aemond does everything to prove that he is worthy of you— even if it means that he would be a kinslayer twice.

Twin Flame Aemond Targaryen X Twin Reader 🐉 Synopsis: Anywhere that you are, that I’d be. Following Aemond to the Riverlands against your better judgment and sensibilities because you knew all too well you could never be apart from your twin.

Prince's Whore Aemond Targaryen X Celtigar Reader 🐉 👑 Synopsis: What proceeded as Prince Aemond had made you his whore. 

Birthday Present Feyd-Rautha x Lady Reader 🤍 👑 Synopsis: During a state visit, you, a daughter of one of the great houses, have captured the attention and fatal attraction of the Na-Baron and were quickly turned into his promised wife. 

Bittersweet Feyd-Rautha x Lady Reader ��� Synopsis: As the Na-Baron's proposed bride, you were simply too sweet for him and his bitter being. You were too innocent and pure to be tainted by the blood-stained hands of the Harkonnen heir.

Casual Rafe Cameron x Reader Synopsis: You would settle for causality as long as you had Rafe by your side. 

Still Casual? Rafe Cameron x Reader Synopsis: You promised yourself that you’re never going to settle for casual ever again— promised yourself you would never be another casualty of Rafe Cameron. 

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) Rafe Cameron x Reader 👑 Synopsis: Trust me, I can handle me a dangerous man.

Imgonnagetyouback Rafe Cameron x Reader 🤍👑 Synopsis: The plan is clear. Get Rafe back after your breakup. 

So High School Rafe Cameron x Reader 🤍 Synopsis: He knows how to ball, you know Aristotle

Please, Please, Please (Rafe's Edition) Rafe Cameron x Reader 👑 Synopsis: Being with Rafe, a notorious hotheaded drug dealer, you knew others would question your relationship— especially your parents, who had never been fond of him. But when his habits had been too much to handle, you knew that you would prefer heartbreak to a broken ego. 

Trouble Maker, Stress Reliever Aegon Targaryen X Reader 🏙️ Synopsis: You’re a prefect tasked with taming Aegon’s unruly behavior. Strained by your task, he offers you a way to relieve the stress he caused.

Parting Gift Aemond Targaryen X Reader x Aegon Targaryen 🐉 🤍 👑 Synopsis: Aegon asks for a parting gift from his younger brother and his beloved wife: One night with you in exchange for the throne. 

[faaun]

being autistic is beautiful and then you're afraid of abandonment because your brain has picked up on the exact patterns that signal another loss and then you step outside and there are patterns in the sky in the grass in every touch and every laugh. someone looks at you and there is a shift in their gaze to tell you "i know you're wrong. you are something wrong." something between pity and embarrassment and you want to rip it out of your body for a second and then you listen to music and the euphoria makes it all worth it because they could never experience this joy. you're sky-high. you look in the mirror and your eyes appear inexplicably vacant and then you read about how so many autistic kids are cleverer than everyone else as children and then the opposite afterwards. at a certain age you equalise. you grow sharper teeth and you bite off more than you can chew and you chew it all anyway. there's spring in the air and your brain functions like a scattergraph and when you think about it hard enough it's impossible not to fall in love. if you're an alien you're a lovely one. one day you fall in love and you know it's more intense than it should be but you love her anyway, knowing how it will end. are you invented for grief? are you invented for love, carrying grief?

truthfully being autistic puts a gun full of love to your head. i will always be a little bit more alone than everyone else but the shades of green seperate into a spectrum of feeling and this schematic of an engine is a poem to progress and every song i love is a holy hymn and when your brain is a scattergraph, once you love something, you love everything. you're more alone than everyone else and the least lonely creature on earth, even in isolation.

[espinosaurusrexex]

Colin has a wet dream about you

a/n: I love Polin, but I am also obsessed with the Bridgerton men and you gotta let a girl dream... or rather her fictional crush 😏

word count: ~600

warnings: smut (wet dream - not super graphic), pining, Colin missing you :(

･ﾟ✫* 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑖 𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 ｡✭･ﾟ

“Oh,” you gasp, “Colin!”

The white duvet crumbles beneath your writhing body, every curve and divot of your skin brands itself into Colin’s mind like a well rehearsed poem, or the tune of a song that just cannot seem to leave his head. 

“I love you,” he whispers your name into your neck, the sweat coating his brow as if he were sparing with his brothers. Though he is doing quite the opposite indeed. 

His hips push forward in gentle passion as he falls deeper in the all-encompassing pleasure that is covering his every being in warmth and shivers. 

“I love you,” Colin promises once more, his lips grazing upon every surface of you he can reach until your hand tangles in his hair, holding him in place just as your mouth touches his.

“Say it back, my love.” Another thrust ruts through the both of you, and your damp breath travels past his face. “I am entirely yours.”

“I- ah! Colin, oh my-“ He is fighting the urge to roll you on top of him, to see your breasts bounce with every thrust, to weigh them in his hands and feel how perfect they are… especially when he runs his fingers over the pebbled flesh which makes your sounds pique. No, he needs his body pressed against yours, needs every inch of him to touch you in fear of it all being his wicked imagination. There is no risking your fading away. 

“I beg you, love.” He is close to losing his mind if you don’t answer him soon, the urge of your confession growing greater than his need for release. But his body won’t stop moving. You are drawing him in deeper and deeper until your other hand scratches down his back. 

You are a moaning mess beneath him, and he wouldn’t have it any other way… well, except for the fact that you have yet to pronounce your undying love for him so that you can both live happily ever after together. 

Though, for some reason, that sentence never comes. Instead, the knot in his belly grows tighter and tighter until his eyes are skewed shut. One more thrust and he will tumble over into the warm and floaty feeling only you have ever brought him. 

“Colin, look at me.” You stroke over his hair and stare at him adoringly. He can feel it now, the words on the tip of your tongue as you kiss him once more, and the warm tightness spreading throughout him when you finally say them. 

“I love-“

A loud crash sounds from outside his room and Colin shoots up in his bed. 

It takes him a second to come to again. The room he is in is sparely lit through the heavy dark blue curtains drawn before his windows. 

He is hot, and bothered, he notices after dragging his hand across his dampened face, staring down at the prominent evidence in his lap. But the worst part of it all is… that he is alone. 

“Are you alright?!” 

“I am fine, Mr. Bridgerton! Please excuse the disturbance!”

“Do not worry!”

Colin falls back into his pillow with a heavy sigh and closes his eyes once more. The memory of your silhouette still lingers in his mind. The way the Greek coastal winds blew on your dress, your hair, making him fall in love with the slight dishevel, he would always connect to you. 

There is nothing he misses more from his travels than your presence. And he mourns every day he has to spend without you now. 

With a heavy heart, and a silent tear springing from them, he presses his face into the silk sheets, wishing, hoping, praying, to see you once more. 

Wanna be added to the Taglist?

[indulgentdaydream]

Bliss and Misery - Pt. 2

Ex!Jason Todd x Fem!Ex!Reader || Angst; Hurt/Comfort; || Word Count: 3,447

Warnings: Accidental Injury Acquired by Romantic Partner, if you have a history of being a victim of domestic abuse, this may not be the fic for you. If you don't mind being spoiled, dm me and I'll explain what happens so you can make that decision for yourself. Not Proofread.

NEVER thought i would make a part 2 to this fic LITERALLY A YEAR AND A COUPLE DAYS LATERRR. But I received a vision and also spring is coming and I'm out of my depression and have been blasted with a ultra sonic ray of creativity.

ANYWAYS this may be slightly controversial

The night of Gotham was curling its fingers, slowly finding its way centimetre by centimetre in order to reach into the crevices of Jason's mind as he stood on a rooftop. There was a crack in his helmet from a fall earlier that night, letting a draft of cold air consistently hit his cheek, keeping him in the moment.

He couldn't get that dream out of his head. It had been days. He never remembered dreams for this long, never this clearly or vivid. Rarely ever dreams. He missed you. Missed you so damn bad that after patrol every night he would go straight to sleep to try and have that dream again. To see you. To see the life you two could've had.

The image of your last encounter entered his mind and he physically flinched. The panic in his heart and head. The hurt in your expression as you turned away with a hand over your face. The pain in his hip when he had done nothing but scramble away from you, not realizing he'd hit the edge of the bed even as he fell backwards.

Yet you had still reached for him. Called his name as he stood on shaky legs, heart pounding. He grabbed his duffle bag of gear by the foot of the bed and left. Practically ran, just like the coward he truly was. He hadn't even been fully dressed, pulling on a shirt halfway down the stairwell because the elevator would've taken too long and you might have caught up. Hadn't taken all of his things, either. Jason had had to come back the next day. Went at a time that he knew you wouldn't be home in order to grab the rest and a few other things he kept there. Then, he left the key you'd given him on the kitchen counter. He didn't even leave a note.

What could he have said? He'd written you poems before. A dozen love letters, most of which never left his desk drawer. Though, he wasn't sure how to encapsulate the surmounting shame of his actions alongside his undying love for you.

Jason shook his head. He stepped off, aiming his grappling hook and moving on. He couldn't go back to you. He kept himself from even seeing a glimpse of you.

This was keeping you safe.

That was a week ago. His dream was three days ago.

He'd move on. He'd done it from every other kind of relationship he had in his life. So what you were the best one? The best thing, period. There had been a best before you and that had gotten him dead.

----

Red Hood was fighting in an apartment. Some deadbeat who was using his apartment as a coke lab. It was minuscule, but it was a punching bag.

The man was tied up on the floor now, unconscious. Jason wiped his hands together and briefly sent notice to Oracle. He was stepping out the window and onto the fire escape that led out to a short alleyway that led straight to the street ahead of him. His motorcycle was off to the left, left between two dumpsters. He stood there for a moment, reloading his guns, listening to the various cars going by.

Then there was footsteps below, in the alley. He was only a few floors up, close enough to see everything clearly from his shadowed corner.

Two figures just below him, both male, skinny but strong-looking, walking out towards the alley entrance. Their back were to him, focused on...

You.

He recognized that pale, aged yellow diner waitress uniform before anything else. He froze, taking too long to be sure of what to do. Too focused on just the sight of you to even realize what was happening.

You'd been walking into the alley. There was no logical reason for you to do so. He knew that street was your route home from after work. But you shouldn't have been walking home anyways. You rarely worked this late. He'd always pick you up before patrol when your shift ended in the early afternoon–

Right. You wouldn't have had a ride.

You were already stepping back, hands clutching the strap of your purse across your chest, ready to go back into the open.

One man grabbed you by the arm and tugged you back. The glint of a switchblade caught the streetlamp across the road. Jason aimed and the gunshot echoed off the brick walls of each building on either side. That man fell limp to the ground beside you.

Jason saw the way your head snapped to the rooftops, looking around. Apparently, to you, that took precedence over the dead body and the puddle of blood that was about to stain your shoes.

The other man seemed to get the message. He turned on his heel, running back from where he came. Red Hood jumped down in front of him. His fist connected with the guy's face, sending him flying back, knocked out and splayed on the concrete.

"Jason?"

His head snapped up at the sound of your voice. You were a distance away.

He wanted to cry.

Your stance was timid, eyes fixed on him like he was a deer about to bolt.

He was about to bolt.

You couldn't see his expression or eyes. Couldn't see the way they fixated on your left eye, a dark, inflamed purple. He could tell from where he stood that it wasn't swollen shut, but it had been. The bruising faded up and around your nose bridge. He knew the signs. Anyone who knew them could tell it was a week old.

He tensed. He shouldn't speak to you. He wanted to hold you.

"What the hell are you doing in an alley at this time of night?" He said, his modulator adding onto the rough and harsh tone.

You blinked, taken aback by it, "I... I saw your bike." Jason looked back over his shoulder. The nose was peaking out.

He couldn't look at you. He fixated on the man he'd knocked out beside him. He bent down and grabbed him ankle. Jason turned his back to you and began to drag him away.

You spoke up again, a little more desperate, "I saw it and– and–" You huffed. "Can't we just talk? Jason!"

"I need to deal with this guy," He said, voice levelled, controlled. "This could be trafficking."

"I'm bleeding."

His whipped back so fast it made him dizzy. He dropped the guy's leg and was in front of you in three strides.

His hand went to your right elbow, where you were trying to twist to look at the back of your bicep. There was a cut from the first man's blade. Jason inspected it closely. The blood was dripping down your arm, staining the white sleeve of your waitress dress.

You tilted your face to his, hidden by his helmet, as if you were trying to see through it. He kept his head lowered, focused his eyes on your arm as if you'd be able to see if his eyes flickered to yours.

He realized his thumb was gently stroking the side of your elbow, a habit he'd always had as an attempt to soothe you. His chanced a look at your face and felt his stomach churn.

The bruise looked worst than he'd initially thought. The edges that had begun to heal were a sickly yellow. The blood vessels in your eyes had burst, causing your sclera to now be an slightly opaque pink. The swelling was still quite a bit, and it looked painful. He knew it was painful. He'd had plenty of black eyes in his time.

He took his hand away and took a few steps back, avoiding your gaze again. He shouldn't be touching you. He shouldn't be anywhere near you.

"You know how to treat it," He was already half turned away. "Go straight home, stay on the main streets."

You stepped towards him again, "I can't reach it. I'll need help."

His back was to you, "Go to a walk-in then."

"Do you trust anyone else to take care of me other than yourself?"

He paused, head turned to side-eye over his shoulder. "You."

He didn't trust himself anymore.

You didn't move. Neither did he.

He looked at your face. Eyes trailing over that horrid bruise, the pinch of your eyebrows and the downwards pull of your lips.

How different you'd looked in that dream; so peaceful. So cozy. So beautiful. Not that you weren't in this moment. But there, you'd been at peace. You'd been safe.

It was what could have been and he'd gone and fucked it all up. He'd never even apologized.

He let out a sigh and hung his head.

"Go home. I'll..." He faltered and clenched his fists. You had a way of convincing him that never needed words. A way to melt his resolve with not heat. "I'll be there soon–"

You shot back with a tone of anger that hadn't been present until now, "Will you?".

Jason flinched, "Yes. I–" He shook in head in frustration. He shouldn't be doing this. Shouldn't be talking to you. But that cut was deep. You could need stitches. "Let me deal with these guys first."

You were glaring. This is how he'd originally thought their encounter would go. "If you don't come–"

"I'll be there." He said. "Go."

----

You trekked your way back to your apartment. Jason had handed you a clean cloth from his jacket for you to tie around your wound before sending you off.

It was difficult. You hadn't seen him in an entire week. Gone one night and then along with the rest of his things the next day when you'd come home. Who could blame you for wandering into an alley at the first sight of his bike? At the first hope of seeing your boyfriend after what had happened. You're fairly certain he had blocked your number.

By the time you made it to your apartment, you were shocked to see Jason already inside. He stood in your kitchen, first aid kit on the counter with everything laid out that he would need. He was readying a needle and thread.

You stood in the doorway for a moment, mostly revelling at his presence in your home again.

His helmet was gone along with his leather jacket and gloves. His hair was messy, dirty. From this angle you could tell he hadn't shaven in a few days, scraggly hairs poking out from his cheeks and jaw and awkward places.

A moment passed before he actually looked to you. He didn't meet your gaze, opting to look at the ground in front of you instead. There were bags under his eyes and his lips were dry and overly red and worried.

He looked rough.

"Jason?" You said softly. You wanted him to look at you.

He nodded to your right and looked back to the suturing thread, "Sit on the counter." There was a spot next to you that he had seemingly cleared off.

You did as he asked. He still looked ready to bolt. You couldn't take any chances.

He stepped in front of you, holding an antiseptic wipe. You let him push up your sleeve and clean off your bloody bicep. You welcomed the sting, knowing it was the price to be able to feel his gentle touch holding you again.

You were expecting him to speak first. But, with the way he purposely stayed further away than normal, the way every muscle in his body was so tense, the way he wouldn't meet your eye, and the way his lips were pulled tight that let you know he was uncomfortable, you began to lose hope.

He stepped away again, tossing the bloody wipes into your sink. He picked up the needle and walked back. His movements were mechanic.

He reached for your arm and you moved it back.

He still wouldn't look at your face. All his words were mostly mumbled, "Lemme see your arm."

You turned to hide it more, leaning closer to him, "I wanna talk first."

He leaned away, speaking a little louder "Lemme see your arm."

"I wanna talk about this, Jason."

He closed his eyes. He looked like he was in pain. He muttered your name quietly. A warning.

"It wasn't your fault!"

He spoke forcefully, "Yes. It was."

You gripped the edge of the counter as you leaned closer. "It was a nightmare! An accident!"

"I fucking punched you!"

Jason was looking at you now. But... he wasn't meeting your gaze. His eyes were only fixed on your bruise. You could tell by the way his gaze wavered, by the pain and shame that made its way to his features.

"I–" He let out a breath. The needle and thread shook in his hands. His voice was a whisper now, "I hurt you. Look at what I did to you."

"You had a nightmare," You spoke carefully now. You didn't want him running out again. You'd waited to seem him again for a week. You had thought you would have to wait longer. "You were scared–"

"Scared doesn't make that okay!" He stepped back. He seemed scared all over again. Worked up. Anxious. He hit the counter opposite you and behind him. He dropped the needle and gripped the edge of it. "I– I didn't know where I was–"

You'd gone over it so many times in your head that you'd already figured that.

You remember waking up to Jason talking in his sleep, shifting restlessly. You'd never witnessed him having a nightmare before. You didn't know what to do. You could barely even see him, your room was so dark on his side. The only light coming from your side being a soft green from the small light on your extension cord, under your desk.

He had sat up so suddenly that you had gasped a bit, but his own half-yell had swallowed it. He was leaning forward. You were sitting a bit behind him. He was scanning the room in front of him. His head was turning in an almost frantic way.

You hadn't wanted to spook him. Didn't want to make any noise as to startle him. You realized afterwards that that groggy decision may not have been the best choice.

Reaching out, you had meant to gently touch his arm. Meant to simply let him know you were there. But he had shifted to lay back down as you had done so. Your hand reaching directly for his face out of his peripheral.

He'd only acted on instinct. You know that. With the light coming from behind you, he wouldn't have been able to see your features. A shadow figure. He would have seen only after the impact. Only as your head had flown back and your face had entered the light.

Right away, you knew it wasn't on purpose. You had seen the fear on his face when he turned, fist raised. You'd seen the flurry of emotions that had come over him in his realization from between your fingers and tears that blurred your vision.

Jason stood in front of you now, on the verge of tears.

"Look at you," He repeated. "Look at what I did to you."

You wouldn't let him run away again, "I forgive you."

"Why?" He cried. "You shouldn't forgive me! I could've knocked you out! I–" His voice cracked. "I didn't know I hit you that hard."

He lowered his head to hide his tears. You slipped off the counter, but didn't move towards him. "We both made mistakes that night, Jason. I shouldn't have reached for you like that."

He shook his head, still slumped back against the counter, staring down at his feet. He sniffled and ran his palm down his face. He looked to the side, shaking his head.

You took a tentative step forward.

"You're not even safe with me..." His voice was wavering. "I can't be with you again. You shouldn't be near me ever again. I broke up with you too late. I should've done it a long time ago so this would never have happened–"

Your shoulders dropped, "We're broken up?"

Jason looked back to you, eyes filled with tears. He shrugged his shoulders, throwing a hand in the air briefly, "The note. I... I was going to leave a note with the key." He shook his head again, pressing his lips together. "I never did."

There was a moment of silence between you two. It was an understanding. He didn't truly want to let you go, but he felt like it was an obligation, now.

You take a few small steps forward until you're in front of him.

His eyes fluttered over your face. They lingered on your bruise, his lips pulling into a deep frown as he tried to hold back his tears. He lifted his hand as if to cup your face, but held it a few centimetres from your skin, holding himself back.

Your heart hurt for him, watching his inner turmoil.

"Look at what I did to you," He whispered again. "I can't even protect you from myself, baby."

"Where did you think you were?" You were curious.

He shrugged and shook his head, "I don't know."

Silence again. He dropped his hand.

"I had a dream," Jason said.

You listened intently.

"Few days ago," He sniffled, trying to collect himself. "We had a baby."

You paused, "Boy or girl?"

He shrugged, "Dunno. Had my hair. Eyes kept changing."

You nodded in understanding. You just wanted to know what was going on in his mind.

He shook his head again. Wiped a hand over his face. "They came waddling into our bedroom and you were asleep beside me and it was just... it felt good. Peaceful." He shook his head. He looked like he was going to run again. "I can't give you that life. Not if I'm going to go around swinging fists because I can't recognize you."

"It was dark."

"I knew I was in your room." He said and sighed. "Not at first. But at that point I did. I was about to reach for you, too. I didn't know you were awake."

"Exactly, Jay. You were still scared–"

"It's an excuse!" He bit back, voice cracking with emotion. "It's all excuses. I didn't even fucking write you a note, baby. Fuck–" The tears welled up again. He lowered his head and put a hand over his eyes. A silent sob wracked his body. "I told you I break everything I touch. I ruin everything I love."

Your own tears started to fill up. You gently reached up and took his wrist, pulling it away from his face.

He wouldn't look at you, fat tears rolling down his face, "Why even try and look for me? Why would you even want to?"

You swallowed, "Because I love you. And I forgive you."

A sob wracked his body. He shook his head before looking up at you. "You're crazy." He swallowed thickly. "...I love you."

He lifted his hand to your bruise again. He hesitated, but you gently took his hand and turned your face into his palm, letting him cup your cheek.

His tears fell faster, his voice raw, "I don't even know how to fix this."

"We'll work on it," You whispered. "Together."

He sobbed, "I just wanna keep you safe."

You pressed a kiss to his palm, eyelashes shiny with tears. "I know," You whisper. "But I wanna keep you safe, too. I can tell you haven't been taking care of yourself."

He shook his head, gesturing to your arm, "Can't even sew you up properly without breaking down–"

"Hey," You say softly, "It's fine. We both know it doesn't really need stitches."

Jason huffed, still worked up. "Don't deserve you."

"None of that," You meet his gaze again. "We can start slow. Maybe with going back to your therapist first? And we can get night lights."

"I feel like a child." He whispered.

"Not a child," Your thumb caressed his hand. "Just in need of a little help."

He stared at you for a moment. Then, slowly, tentatively, he tilted his head forward. He lifted his chin and placed a feather light kiss to the edge of your black eye. Then he pressed one a little firmer, letting in linger.

"I promise you I'm gonna spend the rest of my life making this up to you." He muttered.

You smiled, "We can start there, too."

This is why we don't ask Missy to make things better because she'll only make them extremely worse and then only slightly better

this was heavy. go get yourselves a treat.

[padfootagain]

Love in Verses (I)

Chapter 1 : ���And that orange, it made me so happy, as ordinary things often do just lately’

Hi, everyone!!! I’m so glad to finally start posting this series! I know I’ve been talking about it for a while, and I thank all of you for being interested and even excited about it! I hope you won’t be disappointed!

The first chapters will set the plot into motion, of course, we need to get the story going!

I hope you like this series! Tell me what you think!

****

Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader (professor!AU)

Warnings: slow burn, angst, hurt, hurt/comfort, tooth-rotting fluff in later chapters, some scenes in later chapters will have heavy sexual themes even if it’s not explicit nsfw description, so minors here

Summary: Your life seems perfect. You're engaged, your career is thriving as you become an assistant professor at Trinity College, and this Andrew Hozier-Byrne you're sharing an office with seems to be a nice guy you hope to call a friend soon. Life seems to be smiling at you... until everything goes sour. When your fiancé breaks up with you, your perfect world shatters. And when your colleague also gets his heart broken soon after, your shared office seems to be a curse rather than a blessing. But Andrew seems determined to mend your broken hearts... Will things finally go according to plan?

Word Count: 3502

Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s masterlist – Main masterlist

The Orange

At lunchtime I bought a huge orange— The size of it made us all laugh. I peeled it and shared it with Robert and Dave— They got quarters and I had a half.

And that orange, it made me so happy, As ordinary things often do Just lately. The shopping. A walk in the park. This is peace and contentment. It’s new.

The rest of the day was quite easy. I did all the jobs on my list And enjoyed them and had some time over. I love you. I’m glad I exist.

Wendy Cope, The Orange and Other Poems, 2023

There was sunshine upon the Liffey that morning. A scent of new beginnings in the air, a whisk of excitement in the breeze.

You took a deep breath before entering the college grounds. This was what you had worked so hard for, for so long…

You were finally working in a university, you were a researcher, you would be teaching to younger generations about your passion. And every time you thought about that truth, that new reality, your heart made a happy jump, and a grin formed on your lips.

You were there. At long last. You had a teaching position, you had money for your research, and you had this at Trinity College, no less.

For now, there were no students, the grounds were empty, filled with nothing but old stones, bending trees and sunlight. The year had not begun yet, it was still the early days of August, filled with warm weather, summer storms and a tinge of sun here and there. It seemed that your first day was one of those sunny, warm days that felt too much like vacation time to work. A good omen, if you had ever seen one. A good omen for your life that seemed to fall perfectly into place these days. Professionally, you were achieving your goal today, with this position in the best university in Ireland. Your family was proud, and so were you. And on a personal point of view, you were engaged, to be married to a successful man. You glimpsed at the diamond on your finger. You didn’t have a date for the wedding yet, but you were aiming for spring of the coming year. Frank had proposed during the summer, while you were on a trip for your vacation in Wales. You smiled at the memory. You were lucky this year, your life was perfect, or at least, successful. You were ticking all the right boxes. What else could you ask for?

You walked between the still frames of Edmund Burke and Oliver Goldsmith, stepping finally on the grounds of Trinity College. And you took a deep breath as you stepped into the entrance hall, crossing the building to reach the first courtyard hidden inside. You gathered your thoughts, tried to slow down your beating heart that was pounding with nerves and excitement.

You were to meet one of the fellows of your department, Professor O’Connell. You had never met the woman, but she seemed kind enough on the phone, if strict in her tone. You checked your watch, but you were still seven minutes early. At least, you would not make a bad first impression because you were late…

You hurried under the archway at the centre of the yard, glancing at the forbidden green grass on both sides, and the tall buildings that surrounded it. You tried to calm yourself, thinking that you were an assistant professor already, even if this was your first stable job, that you knew what you were doing, that the papers you had already published were proof of your academic success and your worth as a researcher. You could do this. You could do this…

You walked towards the English department with hesitant steps, trying to follow directions on the various signs scattered across the grounds. A fifty-something woman waved at you from afar though, she seemed to be waiting in front of a building. You smiled, hurried towards her, hoping that you were not mistaken and that she was, indeed, the woman you were looking for…

“Y/N Y/L/N?” she asked, and you nodded your head with a grin.

“Yes! Professor O’Connell, I assume?” you answered, offering her your open hand, which she took with a smile.

“Oh, Lydia is more than enough. How are you?”

“Grand… grand…”

“Welcome to Trinity, I guess. I’ll guide you for a quick visit of our building, and then leave you in the competent hands of our HR department for you to sign off some paperwork. Come on, I’ll show you around.”

She guided you across the large stone building in which you would be working from now on. You easily got lost in the maze of corridors, staircases and halls you were crossing. Still, she showed you the cafeteria in which you were introduced to a few of your new colleagues, some of the classrooms, and finally she guided you to the HR, where a middle-aged woman gave you some paperwork to sign.

Lydia was waiting outside, ready to guide you to your office. A new maze of corridors opened before your feet, but you said nothing, figured that you would eventually get used to it. You took a turn to the right to another corridor, headed straight for the door a few steps ahead. Wooden, with two plaques fixed on its surface.

Dr. Andrew Hozier-Byrne

Dr. Y/N Y/LN

Your heart skipped a few beats at the sight of your name there, engraved in copper.

“You’ll be sharing your office with another of our assistant professors,” Lydia explained. “Andrew arrived last year, he’s working mostly on 20th century literature… but I’ll let him talk your ears off about his research.”

She knocked, didn’t wait for a response before opening the door.

The office was tiny, to say the least, but it was enough for the two desks and chairs set there, a wardrobe and a few shelves. There was a poster of Johnny Cash on one of the empty spots on the white walls, and a large window facing the door, behind one of the desks. The other desk was set on the left-side of the room, a tinier window behind it.

A man was sitting in the chair behind the desk in front of the larger window, and he looked up as the door opened and Lydia walked in, you following close behind.

“Good morning, Andrew,” Lydia greeted her colleague with a smile. “This is Y/N, our new assistant professor, who’s going to share your office this year.”

Andrew’s eyebrows arched slightly, although he still gave you a warm but shy smile, standing in a hurry. You couldn’t help your surprise as he stood up, towering you with an intimidating height. He seemed to have long hair, that he had tied in a bun. You studied his features, something kind and gentle made his hazel eyes shine, a short beard coloured his cheeks. He readjusted his glasses, as he quickly stepped around his desk. He was wearing a black turtleneck and dark jeans, there was a brown jacket thrown on the back of his chair.

You looked up at him as his smile widened just a little, still polite but with an extra-touch of kindness now. His body was intimidating though, and the fact that he was handsome wasn’t helping. He bent to avoid the lamp that was hanging from the ceiling.

“Of course! Erm… hi, nice to meet you,” he greeted you, offering you his open palm, avoiding eye-contact. You weren’t expecting how soft his voice was, how quiet his tone sounded. If his height gave something intimidating to his appearance, his voice countered that feeling, and you immediately felt more at ease.

“Hi! It’s very nice to meet you too, Andrew!”

“Alright, I’ll leave you to settle,” said Lydia, addressing you. “My office is down the corridor, if you need anything. But I’m sure Andrew can help you with the rest. The HR gave you everything you needed to access a computer?”

“Yes, I’ve got everything.”

“Good. Settle this morning, we’ll have a talk about your research this afternoon. The meeting for the upcoming year and classes is set later this week, you’ll get all the information you need for your teaching then.”

“Alright, thank you so much.”

She gave you a bright smile, before walking out of the room.

You were left alone with Andrew, who gave you another shy smile, rubbing at his palms.

“Erm… right… obviously, there is a large selection of desks you can choose from in this room,” he joked, his tone still stern, and you noticed how he was biting the inside of his cheek.

But you laughed good-heartedly at his joke, and he raised his eyebrows at your reaction.

“Hmm… I guess I’ll take this beauty over there,” you said, dropping your bag on your desk.

“Good choice,” he nodded, fleeing your gaze again. “Erm… I’ve emptied a couple of shelves over there for you too, and made some room in the wardrobe as well.”

“Thank you,” you smiled up at him and caught his eyes again, noticed their pretty hazel shade.

You turned on your computer, looked through your papers for the password that had been given to you so you could log in.

“So… what’s your research about?” he asked, a little awkward, shifting his weight while burying his hands in his pockets.

You noticed how he was bending his head and shoulders a little, as if to look smaller than he was.

“I work on feminism and the use of the female gaze in literature, as opposed to the male gaze.”

He raised an eyebrow, and you noticed how his gaze lit up with interest.

“Oh… that’s so interesting!”

You were surprised by the earnestness in his tone. The academic world was a particularly misogynistic one, after all. Most men in your field were enemies rather than allies.

“Yeah… I… I think so too,” you smiled, cursing yourself for your naïve answer. “I mean… If I chose to work on that, it means that I’m interested in it, but…”

He chuckled, the sound as quiet as his voice. You were still surprised by it, by the contrast it offered to his intimidating stature.

“Totally, yeah…”

“What about you?”

“20th century literature… mostly modernism and contemporary poetry. So… Lots of Joyce, Woolfe, Heaney and the likes.”

“Nice! That sounds interesting.”

“I mean… I teach a lot about modernism, but my research is more focused on poetry, especially poets who are currently writing.”

“That’s pretty rare, to have scholars studying contemporary art, instead of… dead people.”

You both chuckled at that.

“Yeah… but I… I mean… I value a lot the political weight of art, so… I find it more interesting to study something that talks about our current problems, rather than the problems from… four centuries ago or something...”

“Can’t argue with that,” you nodded.

You exchanged a smile, noticed that Andrew was relaxing as well by now.

“Erm… I’ll let you settle down, but… tell me if you need anything. Oh, and…”

Andrew nodded towards an empty frame tugged away against the wall, in a corner of the room.

“There’s an empty spot on the wall, feel free to hang something you like in it. As long as it’s decent enough.”

“Oh… I will refrain from a poster of my naked celebrity crush then,” you joked, making Andrew laugh again.

“Please, refrain. Although, I will accept your latest pagan ritual to summon Chtulhu or something…”

He tensed again, bit the inside of his cheek, as if he regretted his joke, but you laughed, and he seemed a little surprised by it.

“Dully noted… so, I can bring my pentagrams at work?”

His smile widened.

“Feel free to do so. I can produce the goat for the sacrificial ritual, if you need.”

You chuckled again, and Andrew bent his head, but you noticed the way his shoulders relaxed.

“Right, sorry for the weird humour,” he apologised anyway, and walked back to his desk. “Tell me if you need help with anything. I have a couple of things to take care of, but I can show you around if you need.”

“Okay, thank you! Yeah, that would be grand! And no need to apologise, I have a rather dark humour too.”

You exchanged a smile, before both of you would focus on your computers. You managed to log into almost everything, started to create documents and files for your research, downloaded a few articles that you needed to read this week.

It was almost noon when Andrew looked up from his screen again.

“Erm… is everything alright for you?” asked Andrew, his voice still as quiet.

“Yeah… erm… I just can’t log into something.”

Andrew stood up, bent to avoid the lamp again.

“Can I take a look?” he asked softly, and he walked around your desk when you nodded.

He helped you log into the software you needed, showed you a couple of things that you would need to use often.

“Would you like to get lunch?” he asked you with a timid smile.

You answered with a bright smile.

“Yeah, sure!”

“Did you bring some food?”

“Erm… no…”

“That’s fine, no worries,” he chuckled at your sudden hesitation. “We have a cafeteria in our building, for the staff. But it’s more suited for a coffee break than anything else. You can’t buy food there, except for a few snacks from a vending machine. There’s an electric kettle, a coffee machine… there’s a microwave and fridge too, if you… like… want to bring your own food. But nothing to make proper food. We can go to the cafeteria on the campus, though.”

“Okay, that would be nice! Are you waiting for anyone else for lunch?”

But Andrew shook his head.

“Most people in the department are gone to a conference in Cork for three days,” he explained.

“How come you didn’t go?”

But Andrew merely shrugged.

“I wasn’t invited to be a speaker, and to be honest, it was mostly about subjects I’m not particularly interested in. Besides, someone had to stay behind to keep the new lecturer company,” he smiled with a tinge of mischief, and you liked the sight.

He waited for you to gather your things, and you walked together out of the building. Andrew showed you around the campus a little bit, mainly the library and a couple of buildings where you could be asked to teach. You followed him to the cafeteria as well.

“Do you eat here often?” you asked, as you took a look at the food that was available that day.

“When I can. It’s not bad. But students come here too, so you should come only if you can avoid the worst of the crowd. As this year hasn’t started yet, we’re in the clear for a few more weeks.”

You ordered a sandwich, while Andrew bought a salad, and you walked together to one of the many empty tables.

“Lydia told me it was your first job as a professor?” asked Andrew, before sipping on a glass of water.

“Yeah. I mean, I’ve obviously been teaching and working in research for a while, but it’s my first year since I got that title,” you answered with a smile.

“Have you talked about your classes with Lydia yet?”

“No, not too much. I should be able to create a couple of lectures based on my research, but for the more… general stuff, nothing.”

Andrew nodded.

“Yeah, you might inherit some of the classes no one really wants to do, as you’re the newbie.”

“Did it happen that way for you?”

Andrew nodded again, but shrugged right after, swallowing a mouthful of salad.

“I mean, you’ll stay in something you’re used to, don’t worry. But a lot of people are holding the classes they enjoy teaching. You’ll have a limited choice in your field.”

“Any class that you’re hoping to drop?”

“One of them is bound to religion and religious references. I should be able to pass it to someone else this year. We’re exchanging. I’ll get a class on Yeats instead, which is much more in my area of expertise… and interests.”

“Not a religious guy, are you?”

He chuckled.

“Not really, no.”

He didn’t elaborate on the subject, and you didn’t want to push him, happy enough that your colleague and office-roommate was talking to you and acting with benevolence.

“Where did you teach before Trinity?” you asked instead, changing subject.

“Cork for a while, but my partner works in Dublin so I really wanted to move back on the west coast. And then I had the opportunity to come to Trinity last year, when I got the rank of assistant professor, so I didn’t really hesitate. What about you?”

“I taught for a while in Belfast, and they offered me a job when I became assistant professor. But I really wanted to teach at Trinity, so I applied and… got the job! My fiancé is working about halfway between Belfast and Dublin anyway, so it didn’t change much on his side.”

Andrew nodded.

“Relationships can be tricky with academic jobs, especially with how few the teaching positions can be.”

“Yeah, that’s for sure.”

You had gotten a yoghurt for dessert, and Andrew some dry fruits. He handed you the packet, a questioning rise of his eyebrow as a silent enquiry. You smiled, opened your hand and he poured some fruits in your palm.

“Anyway, I hope you’ll get interesting classes, and especially that you can teach about your research. Aside from being interesting for you, I think it’s important to develop what you’re working on in our field.”

You smiled, and he seemed to notice, giving you an awkward smile of his own in exchange.

“Thanks. I think so too.”

“But I have a more important question to tackle.”

You raised a questioning eyebrow, inviting him to go on.

“What poster are you going to put in that empty frame?”

You couldn’t refrain a laugh.

“I have no idea,” you admitted.

“Well, think about it. The decoration of our office is at stake, that’s serious business.”

“Of course, of course. Definitely my number one priority.”

“Good, it should be. My Qi is very sensitive to that kind of stuff.”

You both laughed, and you felt yourself relax again.

You had a good feeling about Andrew, about your shared office, about your new job, about this whole life that was ahead of you.

The world was smiling to you, even the weather was on your side. What could possibly go wrong?

You were so excited to go home and tell everything to your fiancé. Frank got home before you did, you lingered a little longer than anticipated because you asked Andrew questions about how the university worked, the power dynamic in the department, the people you should avoid and those who were nice to talk to. And you wanted to tell Frank about Andrew too. You were so relieved that the colleague sharing your office was nice, kind even.

When you stepped inside, Frank was watching TV. He had ordered some takeaway, and was eating in front of a stupid show that was on, more focused on his phone than on the tv anyway. He jumped when you entered, put his phone away in a hurry.

“Hey, babe!” you greeted him with a grin, bending to kiss him as he sat on the couch.

“Hi! I ordered food for tonight,” he said, nodding towards the Indian food that was scattered across the coffee table.

“Nice!”

“You’re home late.”

You grinned, nodding your head.

“It went amazing!” you jumped up and down excitedly. “First, a senior professor, Lydia, came to pick me up and showed me around. She seems very strict, but nice as well. Apparently, as long as you do your job well, she’ll be on your side. I went to the HR to sign some papers, and…”

You noticed that Frank wasn’t paying too much attention anymore, so you rushed your explanation.

“Anyway, I’ve met a few colleagues, and especially Andrew! We’re sharing an office. He’s been of great help throughout the day, and he’s very sweet! Which is surprising given that he is quite literally a giant!”

“You’re sharing your office?”

“Yes!”

“With a guy?”

“Yes. His name is Andrew! He’s been teaching at Trinity for a year.”

You noticed the way Frank refrained from making a comment, knowing you would call him out for being jealous. You refrained a sigh.

“He lives near Dublin with his partner too. He’s specialised in poetry.”

Frank seemed to relax, and you struggled not to be annoyed by his reaction.

“It’s grand that your first day went fine, babe,” Frank gave you an earnest smile.

“I’m just so relieved that the guy sharing an office with me is not some… misogynistic gobshite. I mean, I don’t know Andrew very much, but he seemed to be more on the feminist side of the spectrum, so I’m sure we’ll be able to get along.”

“That’s nice.”

He didn’t ask any further question but he was still looking at you. You sat down next to him, and he handed you some food he had ordered for you. It wasn’t your favourite, but you liked it.

He opened his arm for you to settle against his shoulder, and you happily obliged. You thought about all the details you wanted to say, but knew would bore him. You chose another question instead.

“What are you watching?”

[bsd-bibliophile]

O - the quiet - it’s so very quiet. What comes around again is my private Spring. Today, hopes that resonated in me long ago Are turning a sharp indigo and falling to me from the sky.

- Nakahara Chūya, “Spring” from Poems of Days Past

[adventuresofalgy]

The weather birds had said that a big storm was on the way at the end of the week – in fact they were calling it a "weather bomb", which Algy thought sounded most undesirable and unpleasant.

Concerned lest his favourite patch of snowdrops might fall victim to this bombing by the weather, Algy decided to inspect and encourage them while it was still calm. It was another dark grey day, but as he perched on the bare ground among the hardy flowers, a wee gleam of low light made them sparkle and shine in a most delightful way, and he was thrilled to see that in addition to the clumps that were flowering, there were many self-seeded baby snowdrop leaves pushing up through the soil beneath the bushes, to bring even more flowers in future years.

Of course snowdrops always reminded Algy of a famous poem by Wordsworth, but he could hardly agree that they were like an unbidden guest, for he waited eagerly for their appearance every year…

Lone Flower, hemmed in with snows and white as they But hardier far, once more I see thee bend Thy forehead, as if fearful to offend, Like an unbidden guest. Though day by day, Storms, sallying from the mountain-tops, waylay The rising sun, and on the plains descend; Yet art thou welcome, welcome as a friend Whose zeal outruns his promise! Blue-eyed May Shall soon behold this border thickly set With bright jonquils, their odours lavishing On the soft west-wind and his frolic peers; Nor will I then thy modest grace forget, Chaste Snowdrop, venturous harbinger of Spring, And pensive monitor of fleeting years!

[Algy is quoting the poem To a Snowdrop by the 19th century English poet William Wordsworth.]

[strawberrylabs]

Goodnight with Genshin characters! (Pt 1)

Featuring: Lyney, Freminet, Kazuha, Venti, Cyno and Childe

Summary: Nights with some of the Genshin cast based on their voice lines!

Warnings: some of these are quite angsty!(it depends on the voice line of the character), and some also contain spoilers for character lore!

Note: this is my apology post for being a solid 19 posts behind whumptober and ignoring my inbox<///3 im getting there guys I promise!!!

Lyney! (125)

"Good night. If you have trouble falling asleep, I have a few little props used for hypnosis that might help... or Maybe not. Either way, sweet dreams!"

Lyney's gentle smile after his comedic suggestion helps you feel at ease. He comes up with something different every night- you really don't know how he hasn't run out of magic-related-sleep-remedies yet.

He often goes to bed after you. Whether he's up practising some magic for his next show or doing some work for Father in the veil of the night doesn't matter to you. As long as you awake to find him there, unharmed, you can manage falling asleep with out him.

But, on the rare occaision he goes to bed at the same time as you, sharing in your night-time routine and holding your hand under the covers, the two of you can stay up for hours talking about anything, everything and nothing.

Freminet (156)

"You go ahead, I'm gonna stay up and read for a while. Hmm? What am I reading? It's, um... It's about diving. There's a bunch of skills I need to... Anyway, night!"

It's not uncommon for Freminet to read before bed. If you're lucky, he may even read with you next to him, allowing you to read along, always checking to make sure you've finished the page before turning.

Althought every night he says he's reading about diving, or marine life, or automechs, you've learned to pick up on the slight rouge of his cheeks, and the stutter that becomes a little more apparent when he lies about what he's reading. It's on these nights you know he's reading about Pers, and it's on these nights you know to leave him be.

Whether he chooses to sleep with you- in the same bed or the same room or the same house- you know not to betray that trust. And for as long as you respect him and his boundaries, he will be grateful.

Sometimes, in the night, you think you feel yourself awake to a faint 'thank you',

Kazuha (194)

"The wind has ceased... The world is silent, so now is the best time to rest well. See you tomorrow."

Kazuha often doesn't join you during the night, whether you are choosing to sleep or stay up. He opts to sit in the crows nest of the crux, listening to the silence of the night. He'll swear that from up there, it appears as if the world itself has gone to sleep with the night- the sea acts as a blanket for the life below, the stars and moon a night light for the trees and the sand and the surf, the clouds casting a shadow of calm upon the land.

Kazuha spends his nights writing about what he sees, and when you awake you find a poem written in his hand about how the beauty of the night reminds him of you.

On the nights when the land is not calm with dreams, but instead enraged with nightmares, he will sit with you in your cabin, and chat about the day gone by. Despite the conditions outside your walls, you sleep best on those nights. The nights where you awake to find you had both fallen asleep with smiles on your faces, after long conversations that drift into the night on lovesick clouds.

Venti

"Off to the land of nod? Haha, farewell, my friend!" (318)

You loath the nights where Venti bids you goodnight without joining you. You can tell by looking at the way he looks everywhere but you, by the way he laughs- hollow and false, so unlike his usual mellodic, spring filled chuckles- and you can tell by the way he says "friend", that he'll be spending his night alone in the hands of his statue, or at Windrise, or at Stormterrors lair. You know he'll be contemplating the centuries of his past.

He'll sit in his own hands, because they're not really his hands, but the hands of his first companion; and by doing so he can feel that maybe the memory of that unnamed bard who he held so dear is not truly forgotten by his people- after all, they built a statue of him, even if they did it unknowingly. He'll gaze at the bark and the leaves of the tree at Windrise, and recall how he let Mondstadt fall into the hands of couption and tyranny due to his negligance the first time around. He'll gaze upon the ruin's of Stormterro's lair- of Old Mondstadt- and replay the events from thousands of years ago, when he was just too weak, too slow, too powerless to save the first being to make him feel something.

You know you should leave him alone. Let him sort through his mind and his memories. But you also know that his mind plays the nastiest, cruelist of tricks on him- dragging him down with nightmares and jabs of "what if's" and "why's".

So when he turns to retreat into the neverending chasm of his mind, you reach out and grab his hand. You follow him into the chasm, and help brighten the darkness with the light of your presence.

Venti is reluctant to admit it- but he will.

'The monsters of my mind seem a little less scary with you here.'

Cyno

"Goodnight. Now, there's some criminal activity nearby that I'll go deal with."

You can't help but worry about Cyno when he says he's going out late to deal with something like this. You know as the General Mahamatra he has various responsibilities he must uphold. But when you're alone at night, your thoughts wander, and you ponder more on his situation.

You wonder, if his father hadn't suffered such a fate, would Cyno still be doing such dangerous jobs as a Matra? Or would he be a regular Spantamad scholar of the Akademiya? If he hadn't been pushed into this position, would he be lying with you now, drifting to a dreamless sleep with you, and not risking his life without recognition- or at least not the recognition he deserves.

You know it's not your place to think these things. Cyno is happy with his job, happy to follow after his Father, regardless of what things are said about him.

You quash your fears and your thoughts when you hear him return. He never left you for long. You knew he would always return to you. And he had every intention of doing so as long as the need remained.

Childe (182)

"Today was great. See you tomorrow, comrade!"

You always chuckled at his Ajax's tendancy to call everyone comrade. You teased him about it whenever it happened, and he always laughs with you and exclaims 'it's just habit!'

You know Ajax is busy, and he'd have less work during the day if he worked through the night. But he always insists on going to bed with you.

He created a bed-time-skin-care routine for you both- courtesy of him buying all the products. He puts is hair in a headband and follows the usual plan to a T.

When it's time to sleep, he smiles warmly at you. You pretend not to see the sadness in his eyes. He pretends it isn't there too.

So, for as long as the shadows of night will hide the pair of you, you'll bask in each others warmth, and soak up the laughter and the kisses you share.

And when the morning comes, as Ajax leaves to do jobs you never speak of, you will both eagerly await the fall of the sky's curtains, so you can forget the worries of reality once again.

Hope you enjoyed!

-Strawberry

Masterlist

Rules

[wasteofbandagesxx]

Too young

{Dazai x reader}

"Hey Y/n, what's your dream?"

You thought long and hard on that question. You've never considered what you wanted to be when you first joined the mafia, but recently you came up with a dream. A life that your heart truly desires.

"Isn't it obvious? I want to become an amazing artist and write poems."

You knew living in the port mafia life wasn't easy. Dreams hardly come true once you join the organization. It's no children's playground, but kids are now joining the fights these days, either by choice or force. You've wanted to leave, you had doubts that you would fit into the port mafia, that you would get close to Dazai's level. You try to protect him the best he can, you would gladly sacrifice yourself for him. You've been trying to convince Dazai to run away with you, but he was too stubborn on finding a purpose to live. This isn't the answer, it never was.

"Dazai, listen to me. I know you want to find a purpose to live, but this isn't it. No matter how hard I try convincing you to run away, you would refuse and try committing suicide." You huffed. Dazai just responds with a giggle as he swings upside down on a tree trunk. You look up from the ground, sitting against the tree comfortably on a nice spring day. You glared at the boy covered in bandages but Dazai couldn't care less. "I'm serious Dazai. I want you to have an actual purpose to live, why won't you let me help you?"

Dazai falls silent and shrugs. He's mood immediately changed and it was worrying. "I guess it's because I don't want you to worry so much about me or waste your time. Focus on your purpose, not mine." He said plainly, he took the book you were reading from your hand and pulls it close to his face, surprisingly his face hasn't gone red yet from being upside down for so long. "Hey!"

"This book seems boring, I don't understand how your such a bookworm." He blabberd out as his face slowly turns red, he quickly sits up straight on the tree branch and gasps for air, making you giggle at his suffering. "It's because it's something that a kid would do, they read. We're 14, we should do things that teens do. This book is also interesting, it's full of poems about life and death." You explained before snatching the book from him. Dazai rolled his eyes and hopped off the tree branch to sit by you. You've always questioned yourself if your going to survive or not. You mostly worry about Dazai, wondering if he's gonna survive past his teen years or not.

"Hey Dazai, don't you think we're too young for all this port mafia stuff?" You asked. There was no response, just complete silence. He sighed, shaking his head before turning to look at you seriously. "Y/n, age doesn't matter when it comes to something like this. It all begins with us minors. Even if I were to try and escape with you, they would just bring me back here while you get your brains blown out. I witnessed the old bosses death, I'm Mori's alibi and therefore, I can't just leave. Doesn't matter if we're young, I'm sure we'll make it past our teen years." He said plainly, his eyes showing nothing but regret. Regretting the fact that he had to crush your dreams of escaping, and living a normal life together.

"Bummer....hey, promise me we'll both try to survive until the very end. Let's do it together." You said with hope in your eyes. Dazai was hesitant, and promises meant nothing to him, they were cheap. He couldn't break your heart though, he couldn't refuse to make a promise with you. You held your pinky up for him to make a promise, he couldn't refuse. "Alright, promise." He locked his pinky with yours as the promise was officially made.

"Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if you died first, you do suck at keeping promises." You laughed, Dazai scrunched his nose and flicked your cheek. "I, too, can keep my promises!" He huffed "yea right." You joked.

"Tag, your it!" He tags you and runs off with your book, you didn't even notice that he took it. You groaned in annoyance and began to chase him. "Give that back!!"

He just giggled and kept running, "Come and get me!"

"Dazai!!"

8 years later.

At the graveyard. It was beautiful, grave stones decorated and spoiled with gifts. The wind passes by every minute, softly and delicately. Leaf after leaf, they were everywhere as the trees slowly sway back and forth. There was a man, sitting behind a grave stone. The same as always, his humorous personality, his smartness and bravery, covered in bandages, but different clothing. The only things he's missing was a best friend, and closure. Where'd all the times go? The man wonders, staring aimlessly at the sky. He's laughed, and cried, and cried again. He felt lonely. Not only did his feelings change a bit, but his perspective of life as well, to save innocent people.

He joined the arm detective agency, because one of his old friends told him to find a new purpose, to do what's right. It's almost to what you've been telling him back when you were kids. He wishes you could see him now, he wishes you could've kept you alive to this day. "I'm sorry I didn't run away with you, Y/n." He mumbles out, his voice slightly cracking. He sighs deeply and runs his fingers through his hair, remembering the feeling of your hands playing with his hair. He watches the birds that passes by, two birds of a feather he thought as he imagined the two of you flying away to freedom.

"You were right Y/n, we were too young." He mumbles out again, the tone in his voice filled with sadness and sorrow.

"Dazai!" A young man calls out, atsushi nakajima, Dazai's apprentice. He ran up to Dazai with no air in his lungs, as if the little tiger boy was running for hours finding Dazai. "I've been looking for you. Kunikida is gonna be mad if he finds out your slacking off again." Atsushi said while trying to catch his breath. "Sorryy, got a little tired. Let's get going yea?" Dazai immediately put on his playful act and got up to leave, until atsushi struck a question at him.

"By the way, I heard you when I was by that tree over there. What did you mean by we were too young?" He asks. Dazai fell silent, he wasn't aware that he was listening, was too caught up in the moment to notice his apprentice. "It's nothing, let's get going yea? You did say kunikida would get mad if we don't get working, and I don't feel like getting yelled at." He says with a yawn, giving atsushi a playful smile and pats him on the head like a little kitty cat.

"Right!" Atsushi immediately walks away, not bothering for his superior to catch up with him. Dazai's smile quickly disappeared once atsushi left, he took one good look at the grave stone before putting his hands in his pockets and walks away.

Y/n, last name

July 6th 2001- December 23rd 2015

Dazai's mind was constantly on you. Always had these scenarios in his head of you guys living a happy life. The words you've told him were constantly playing in his mind. "Hey Dazai, don't you think we're too young for all this port mafia stuff?" Your voice was constantly nagging at him, he felt sick. As if you were next to him, it was unpleasant, because you aren't actually there. He kept walking with a broken heart, but still kept his head high, trying to stay strong just for you. Your face will forever remain in his memories, and your words. He wish he could've gave you the life you wanted, but that dream was long gone. Your words constantly playing in his mind.

"Too young."

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Virginia Woolf: On Words

Listen to the only surviving recording of Virginia Woolf’s voice.

A transcript of Woolf’s broadcast, ‘On Craftsmanship’, BBC, 29 April 1937.

Words, English words, are full of echoes, of memories, of associations.

They have been out and about, on people’s lips, in their houses, in the streets, in the fields, for so many centuries.

And that is one of the chief difficulties in writing them today — that they are stored with meanings, with memories, that they have contracted so many famous marriages in the past.

The splendid word ‘incarnadine’, for example — who can use it without remembering also ‘multitudinous seas’?

In the old days, of course, when English was a new language, writers could invent new words and use them.

Nowadays it is easy enough to invent new words — they spring to the lips whenever we see a new sight or feel a new sensation — but we cannot use them because the English language is old.

You cannot use a brand new word in an old language because of the very obvious yet always mysterious fact that a word is not a single and separate entity, but is part of other words.

Indeed it is not a word until it is part of a sentence.

Words belong to each other, although, of course, only a great poet knows that the word ‘incarnadine’ belongs to ‘multitudinous seas’.

To combine new words with old words is fatal to the constitution of the sentence. In order to use new words properly you would have to invent a whole new language; and that, though no doubt we shall come to it, is not at the moment our business.

Our business is to see what we can do with the old English language as it is.

How can we combine the old words in new orders so that they survive, so that they create beauty, so that they tell the truth?

That is the question.

And the person who could answer that question would deserve whatever crown of glory the world has to offer.

Think what it would mean if you could teach, or if you could learn, the art of writing.

Why, every book, every newspaper would tell the truth, or would create beauty.

But there is, it would appear, some obstacle in the way, some hindrance to the teaching of words.

For though at this moment at least a hundred professors are lecturing the literature of the past, at least a thousand critics are reviewing the literature of the present, and hundreds upon hundreds of young men and women are passing examinations in English literature with the utmost credit, still — do we write better, do we read better than we read and wrote four hundred years ago when we were unlectured, uncriticised, untaught?

Is our modern Georgian literature a patch on the Elizabethan?

Well, where are we to lay the blame?

Not on our professors; not on our reviewers; not on our writers; but on words.

It is words that are to blame. They are the wildest, freest, most irresponsible, most unteachable of all things.

Of course, you can catch them and sort them and place them in alphabetical order in dictionaries.

But words do not live in dictionaries; they live in the mind.

If you want proof of this, consider how often in moments of emotion when we most need words we find none.

Yet there is the dictionary; there at our disposal are some half-a-million words all in alphabetical order.

But can we use them? No, because words do not live in dictionaries, they live in the mind.

Look once more at the dictionary.

There beyond a doubt lie plays more splendid than Antony and Cleopatra; poems more lovely than the Ode to a Nightingale; novels beside which Pride and Prejudice or David Copperfield are the crude bunglings of amateurs.

It is only a question of finding the right words and putting them in the right order.

But we cannot do it because they do not live in dictionaries; they live in the mind. And how do they live in the mind?

Variously and strangely, much as human beings live, by ranging hither and thither, falling in love, and mating together.

It is true that they are much less bound by ceremony and convention than we are.

Royal words mate with commoners. English words marry French words, German words, Indian words, Negro words, if they have a fancy.

Indeed, the less we enquire into the past of our dear Mother English the better it will be for that lady’s reputation. For she has gone a-roving, a-roving fair maid.

Thus to lay down any laws for such irreclaimable vagabonds is worse than useless. A few trifling rules of grammar and spelling are all the constraint we can put on [words].

All we can say about them, as we peer at them over the edge of that deep, dark and only fitfully illuminated cavern in which they live — the mind — all we can say about them is that [words] seem to like people to think before they use them, and to feel before they use them, but to think and to feel not about them, but about something different.

They are highly sensitive, easily made self-conscious.

They do not like to have their purity or their impurity discussed.

If you start a Society for Pure English, they will show their resentment by starting another for Impure English — hence the unnatural violence of much modern speech; it is a protest against the puritans.

They are highly democratic, too; they believe that one word is as good as another; uneducated words are as good as educated words, uncultivated words as cultivated words, there are no ranks or titles in their society.

Nor do they like being lifted out on the point of a pen and examined separately.

They hang together, in sentences, in paragraphs, sometimes for whole pages at a time.

They hate being useful; they hate making money; they hate being lectured about in public.

In short, they hate anything that stamps them with one meaning or confines them to one attitude, for it is their nature to change.

Perhaps that is their most striking peculiarity — their need of change.

It is because the truth [words] try to catch is many-sided, and they convey it by being themselves many-sided, flashing first this way, then that. Thus they mean one thing to one person, another thing to another person; they are unintelligible to one generation, plain as a pikestaff to the next. And it is because of this complexity that they survive.

Perhaps then one reason why we have no great poet, novelist or critic writing to-day is that we refuse words their liberty.

We pin them down to one meaning, their useful meaning, the meaning which makes us catch the train, the meaning which makes us pass the examination.

And when words are pinned down they fold their wings and die.

Finally, and most emphatically, words, like ourselves, in order to live at their ease, need privacy.

Undoubtedly they like us to think, and they like us to feel, before we use them; but they also like us to pause; to become unconscious.

Our unconsciousness is their privacy; our darkness is their light...

That pause was made, that veil of darkness was dropped, to tempt words to come together in one of those swift marriages which are perfect images and create everlasting beauty.

But no — nothing of that sort is going to happen to-night.

The little wretches are out of temper; disobliging; disobedient; dumb. What is it that they are muttering? ‘Time’s up! Silence!’'

Source Virginia Woolf: The Censorship of Books

[1800naveen]

Until.

Wander.

Tamlin often wandered around the Spring Court. For a while, he lived in his beast form. He felt a sense of freedom in that form. He could run, run, run, and nobody would stop him. But now, he was walking in his fae form. A feeling of melancholy surrounded the Spring Court, which was brought to its knees by his former lover and fiancé, Feyre Archeron, who was now the High Lady of the Night Court and both mate and wife to his former friend and ally, Rhysand.

He had caused her pain so in return, she did the same to him. Manipulating and scheming to make this Court fall. His people were taken in by Tarquin, High Lord of the Summer Court and Tamlin was grateful for his generosity.

"Be happy, Feyre." were the last words he told her before helping her resurrect Rhysand from the dead. In return, she wrote Tamlin a letter.

"Thank you. I hope you find happiness too." It was a kind gesture. But could he find happiness? She was the one to ruin the damn court and drove his people away. Homes and nature burned to ashes by the armies of Hybern.

A part of him felt a twinge of guilt. He let this happen to his own home. He should've figured out something was wrong. He also knew that not all of the blame fell on his shoulders. The forefathers of his bloodline would be disappointed, that's for sure.

Especially his father.

He could hear the words coming from his mouth. "How could you have let this happen? Let a Mortal-Made Fae destroy this Court? An abomination of a High Lord. A failure that I have to call a son." Tamlin remembered how his brothers threatened to kill him if he wished to be a High Lord. "Remember this, dear brother. Remember these words when you wish to think of the words "High Lord"." Weylin, the second-born, had whispered to him after he snuck into Tamlin's room at the dead of night.

"If you dare to pursue being worthy. To be chosen by father. To be his heir to the Spring Court. We will put an end to you and make sure you never see the light of day again. Do you understand?" Cian, the first-born, spat out. Tamlin could hear the poison, the venom intertwining in his words. The boy he had once been only nodded. He didn't have much power back then but it feels like he doesn't have much power even now.

Cupping his hands into the stream, Tamlin splashed his face to stop thinking about those thoughts. A gentle breeze made his hair sway. It was now down to his mid-back as it was once before.

Conflicted.

That was the word to describe how Tamlin was feeling. Conflicted.

A part of him felt smug for being crowned High Lord when his brothers terrorized him about it.

A part of him was glad that Rhysand and his father killed his family but not his mother. She was the only one who he mourned.

Tamlin loved his mother and he knew that she loved him too but when his father, Taranis, was being a tyrannical piece of shit, she turned a blind eye. How could a mother do something like that to their own child? To their own son?

A sigh left his lips.

His brothers were right.

Perhaps they knew the future of him and what would happen to the Court.

And a part of him wished that his brothers had killed him. He wouldn't have to be burdened with the title and responsibilities of a High Lord. The Spring Court would still be thriving. He wouldn't have to go through all this pain. But maybe in another life, he would be a traveling minstrel. He would go around and sing songs, speak of poems, limericks, ballads, but most of all, he could play his fiddle to his heart's content. He would have his own group that he would call his family. A ragtag team of misfits.

His own family that would love him, flaws and all. A family that wouldn't leave him behind.

It had been a gift from his mother for his tenth birthday. He had to carve his name into the fiddle so that his brothers wouldn't take it from him. Luckily, they didn't break it or toss it away as it kept him from High Lord. But they did make fun of it. However, Tamlin didn't mind. He had more talent in his fingers than his brothers had in their entire body. Besides being warriors and strategists.

A door creaked open. It's been a while since Tamlin was in the manor. It was a mess, of course. He really needed to clean it up. Most of the mess was created by him when he felt his emotions all pent up. And the rest came from him neglecting the home.

Now or never, Tamlin got to work. In an attempt to tidy up the manor to the best of his abilities. This would take a while.

The living room and kitchen were the only things Tamlin cleaned up. Some other time, he would clean the upstairs.

A broken mirror was on the ground, facing down. Tamlin carefully picked it up so that he wouldn't cut himself. Half of the shattered mirror pieces are still laid on the ground. He would have to fix it later with paste. The other half of the mirror was intact, showing half of his face. He went to hang it up on the wall of the living room.

"You've changed." Tamlin spoke himself as he stared into the mirror. The light in his green eyes was dimmed. Sadness and loneliness danced in his eyes in replacement.

A shell of a male.

He let his anger, frustration, and sadness consume him and he was now what people thought him of.

A beast.

A monster.

And a villain in the eyes of those he wronged.

He traveled far beyond the path of reason.

"What troubles you, Tam?" That voice. Tamlin hadn't heard it since he died. Killed by the woman he once loved.

Andras.

Brown hair tied back, rich tanned skin, and eyes the color of amber that were filled with mischief. That used to be filled with mischief.

"It's been a long time, my friend." Tamlin turned to face Andras. He stood there as a spirit. Was he going mad to the point he could see ghosts?

"It has." Andras' eyes darted from place to place as he studied the manor. "And what the hell happened here?" "A long story." Tamlin replied. "Ah yes. A story that I'm aware of." That made him still.

"How?" His voice was hushed but the tone was filled with uneasiness. "I've been wandering around the Court ever since I was killed. Prythian too but I prefer to stay here." Tamlin needed to sit down. He stumbled to the couch, putting a hand to his head.

"My job was done when Feyre put an end to my life but deep down, I knew it wasn't. And I was right. Because here you are, all alone with nothing but your sunken Court." "Thanks for your kind words, Andras. I love to be reminded of that." "You're welcome!" A stupid grin grew on his face.

Oh, how Tamlin missed it.

"I don't know what to do. I don't know where to start." Tamlin muttered. "With what?" "With everything." He fell back, hitting the cushions. Andras didn't say a word but walked up to Tamlin, helping him sit back up. "How are you touching me?" "Don't question it. Let me help." Oh, he hated those words. Tamlin never liked getting people's help. He believed that he could do almost anything on his own. It was one of his flaws; his hubris.

"Tell me everything. What happened?" Andras' face showed gentleness. "I thought you knew." "I know half. I did say that I wander around Prythian, not just the Spring Court."

Tamlin rolled his eyes but still, he told Andras everything. Under The Mountain, him locking Feyre up in what he thought was protection, becoming a double spy for Hybern, Feyre dismantling the Court, Feyre and Lucien leaving together, Tarquin taking in his people, Hybern's armies bringing damage to both Spring and Summer, the war, helping Feyre bring Rhysand back to life, and finally, Rhysand coming to mock him during Solstice.

A wince came from Andras. "That's rough, buddy." "Indeed." Now annoyed, Tamlin stared off into the distance. None of the males said a word to each other. Only let the silence fill the air.

A clock ticked calmly. Like a metronome.

"Tam, listen to me." Tamlin slowly turned his head to Andras, waiting for whatever Andras was going to say.

"Do you remember when you were crowned High Lord?" How could he not remember? He could still recall the memory, even though it had been centuries.

"May the Mother bless you and the Spring Court. All hail Tamlin Lysander, High Lord of the Spring Court!" Ianthe, his former childhood friend was the one to crown him.

All hail Tamlin, High Lord of Ruin.

Since that day, he knew that no amount of self-sought fury would bring back the glory of innocence.

"I do. And what does my coronation have to do with anything?" "Being a High Lord, you're in charge of the land and have duties to do. You're in charge of Spring. The land that is ever-changing." That was false though. The Seasonal Courts were in a permanent state of the season it represents. Mother, he sounded like a smartass.

"Spring is a new beginning. A new transformation. Staring over and staring anew." "What are you getting at?" Tamlin was starting to tire.

"What I'm saying is, you are the High Lord of the Spring Court. You are the land and the magic. You are Spring. So act like it." Tamlin raised an eyebrow.

"When flora begins to bloom, bloom alongside with it. When the light shines upon, shine and burn bright. When something new is planted, take root and grow. Change has always been and will always be possible. We cannot fix our past mistakes but we can reflect back on it, see what we have done wrong, acknowledge it, and grow." Andras took Tamlin's hand into his.

"To grow is to be reborn. To live is to suffer but to love as well. You are so much more than your fears. Than your anxieties, your anger, and your sadness." Woe climbed Tamlin like a ladder, tears threatened to fall but he wouldn't let them. He never did like to cry in front of people but with Andras, maybe it would be alright.

"You were the poet of us three but it didn't mean I couldn't pick up a few things." Andras shot a wink. Tamlin chuckled, the tears going back into the depths. Him, Lucien, and Andras. The death of their dear friend was hard on the both of them but mostly on Lucien.

He viewed him as his younger brother even though Andras was the second oldest; Tamlin being the eldest and Lucien being the youngest.

"I promise you this," Andras' grip got tighter. "I won't pass on until you are better. Until our home is better. I refuse to leave you until that smile of yours returns, until the light in your eyes is radiant like an emerald once more. I will not give up on you, so don't give up on me." "Thank you, Andras...Thank you." Tamlin whispered the last thanks, almost like a prayer. His head fell onto Andras' shoulder and his arms wrapped around like a snake.

He wanted to get better. He wanted to be better. He would get better, be better than the male he once was.

"Walk with me." Tamlin lend out a hand for Andras to take. Both of the males' hands clasped together.

They headed outside.

Birds chirped here and there. Woodland creatures scurried on the grass. The air was calm and chill. The sun was being to set which let the sky a beautiful orange, red, and purple.

Tamlin and Andras' hands were still intertwined. His thumb moved up and down softly, soothing on the High Lord's hand. Almost like a lullaby.

510 years, Tamlin had been alive. His childhood was one no child should ever have. He only had a few friends as making friends was a difficult task. Rhysand then came to mind. He remembered how Rhysand would find him everytime he had time to. He taught him fighting techniques that were native to Illyrians. They ate, drank, hunted, trained, laughed, and fought together. He even made wrote him letters, poems, and limericks. A memory played in his mind where the two were away from the war camps. Tamlin was resting on a tree as he played the fiddle and Rhysand rested his head upon his lap. Not that he minded. It didn't mean anything.

But their fathers ruined it and for what? A insipid rivalry?

Inside of him, Tamlin felt a small sense of hope that one day, they would reconcile. He was a fool to think it.

Rhysand was a winged insect (quite literally) while Tamlin was a funeral pyre. Sadness and anger crackled and twisted like flames within him.

A deep breath in and a deep breath out. Tamlin felt a heavy weight lift from his chest. Something in him stirred. Feelings and emotions.

Not the negative ones he grown accustom to but something new.

Hope.

It was the breath of fresh air that he needed.

Out of all of the Seasonal Courts, Tamlin assumed Spring wasn't all that important compared to Winter, Autumn, and especially Summer. But he was wrong.

Spring was life coming back into the lands and blossoming hope all around.

Summer, in many eyes, was the best season. A season of light, warmth, adventure, and happiness. But when Summer retreated, Autumn took its place. Leaves began to fall and colors changed from bright to dark, the temperatures cooled down and people would soon harvest for Winter was coming.

With Winter, brought the death of nature. The most deadliest season of them all. The night-darkness, would come earlier than before. Many things would come to an end but it wouldn't be forever. Celebrations would be held during the season; for family, for loved ones, for surviving another terrible winter, and a new year approaching.

And with this new year, things would change yet again. The snow will melt, the ice will thaw, and winter would bow as Spring came into blossom.

"For you." Tamlin broke from his thoughts to see Andras holding a rose in his hands. "Be careful of the thorns." He took the rose without worry. Not fearing if thorns would cut him.

"I love you, thorns and all." were the words he once said to Feyre. Who would he say the words to now? He had no lover. But he had himself.

"I love you, thorns and all." Tamlin said to himself, in the back of his mind.

He was not a monster.

He was no villain.

And until that day comes when he could prove it, he would work and work.

He would not spend his immortality in rage.

He would not let anger consume him, control him.

Until the light in his eyes shined brighter than a thousand suns.

Until he could love himself.

Until the day that he could look into a mirror, smile, and know that he was a lovely reminder of how beautiful change could be.

Until he was the true High Lord of the Spring Court once again.

(This is my first writing piece that I've shown people so I hope you'll enjoy or like it. His family never got names so these are my names for them. Lysander just fits Tamlin; It means "Liberator" or "Freedom".)

(THIS FEELS LIKE SHIT, UGH!!)

(Wait, would this be a Tamlin X Andras? I swear I didn't mean for that. AND YES, I REFERENCED TAKE ME BACK TO EDEN! IT'S A KICKASS SONG!)

@viktoriaashleyyx here's that add, hope you like it👍🏾

[from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras]

Entirely selfish question. What winter/ early spring holidays do you think Rohan would have?

Oh, hey! I’ve got a google doc of Rohan holidays that I add to from time to time as I’m thinking, so below are the ones that I currently have that would fall in the late winter/early spring time. (It doesn’t include Yule, because I know I have an old Yule post *somewhere* and I can’t find it now because Tumblr search is garbage, but if I can I’ll edit this and re-tag you!) I hope any/some of this is helpful to your purposes!!!

Rohan Winter/Spring Holidays

As with almost all big holidays in any culture, most of them have gathering with family and friends and eating together as big components, but I listed off a few specific practices for each one. If anyone else has their own ideas to throw in, please do!

The Big Hunt 🏹 (mid-February)

-Hunts happen year-round, but this one is designated as a special opportunity to honor Béma, the Great Hunter. (Mid-February because it helps to break up the doldrums of mid-winter.)

-Formal offerings to Béma are made before the hunters set out in the morning. These include hunting implements (arrow heads, etc.) and artifacts from prior hunts (something carved from bone or antler, perhaps), and they’re buried at the edge of a forest (or, lacking a forest, under a tree) for Béma to take at his leisure.

-While the hunters are out at work, there is winter outdoor revelry and hot drinks around fires while everyone watches for their eventual return.

-Traditionally, every time a hunter misses his quarry on the Big Hunt (an off-target arrow or spear throw, for example), they have to give up an article of clothing. It’s great fun to await the riders and see at a glance who was successful and who is almost naked (and very cold!). (Don’t feel sorry for them, the almost naked ones get wrapped up in furs and are given a good seat by a fire and lots of attention from sympathetic caretakers.)

-Items from the Big Hunt (the spears used, or the bones of the kill from that particular outing) are kept to be the next year’s offering.

New Year 🎉 (March 25)

-From the end of the Third Age, the Rohirrim follow along with Gondor’s practice of celebrating the new year on the anniversary of the destruction of the ring. 

-There are military-style parades in all the cities with all the marshals and captains in their best uniforms and all the éoreds decked out in their own finery.

-There’s a big emphasis on the performance of songs and poems that commemorate the events of the War of the Ring. Children put on little pageants to reenact Rohan’s biggest contributions to the war, including the arrival of the Rohirrim at Minas Tirith and Éowyn’s slaying of the Witch King (they all fight over who gets to be Éowyn).

-It’s also important to them to have official representatives of the elves, dwarves and hobbits present, since they’re commemorating something that affected all the free peoples. Legolas, Gimli and Merry often filled these roles in Edoras during their lifetimes.

-Families of those who lost loves ones in the war take this as a day to visit their graves and remember their sacrifice. The simbelmynë is a symbol of the new year in Rohan as a consequence.

Field of Celebrant Day 🗡️ (April 15)

-This day celebrates the Battle of the Field of Celebrant, which led to the Oath of Eorl and the founding of Rohan.

-The day is greeted with the ritual blowing of horns, the traditional sign of the arrival of the Rohirrim army.

-Acts of service are a major point of emphasis, meant to honor Eorl’s act of service in coming to the aid of Gondor. Everyone is expected to do something for either a friend, family member or even a stranger.

-Tokens in the form of little red arrows are exchanged between friends, again symbolizing the day’s emphasis on friendship and alliance.

-The king travels to the Field of Celebrant, where the battle took place, and is traditionally met by the steward (or, later, the king) of Gondor to perform a little ceremony in honor of the event and in reaffirmation of the alliance.

Start of Spring 🌸 (varies from early March to late April, depending on the year)

-In late winter, Rohirrim start to tie a small ribbon to any tree or bush branch where they see the first hint of buds of new growth to come. When the branches are full with ribbons, the queen (or, outside of Edoras, a senior woman) designates spring to have arrived and a festival is held.

-The festival revolves around cleansing rituals. Those near rivers may take a ritual dip. In other places, they may steam certain herbs and plants with cleansing properties. Everyone opens all the doors and windows of their homes to let in the fresh spring air.

-Flowers are used to make wearable decoration - crowns or necklaces or sashes - and everyone is expected to sport something.

-The associated feast emphasizes using the remainder of winter stores to make room for spring’s new produce (there are contests for who can make the most creative use out of those leftovers!), and it ends with bonfires made from the remains of the winter wood stockpile.

Festival of Horses 🐎 (typically early May)

-The timing is meant to coincide, as best as possible, with the start of the spring foaling season when the new horses are born

-Any foal born during the festival itself is considered especially lucky and can be auctioned for an absurdly high price

-The festival itself begins with the annual rounding up of some of the feral horses that have traditionally lived in all the plains and valleys of Rohan. Any captured horses are run through the river for cleaning and then auctioned off to the breeders and trainers. Watching the auction is considered high entertainment and can get very animated.

-The day itself is dominated by competitions of horses and horsemanship. There are judged shows for best horse and finest horse crafts (tack, etc.), and there are races, jumping competitions and contests for the most daring/unique horsemanship skills. Prizes are highly valued and bragged about nonstop for the whole year.

[skzhocomments]

please 735 with hyunjin ☺️

General Masterlist

Request me a story

---

Writing Prompt 735 - “I have to walk away. I have to leave.” - Hyunjin

Word count: 2.6k words

Wattpad | AO3

~

Falling in love was one of the most beautiful feelings Hyunjin’s heart's ever gotten to know. From the moment he’s first seen you, it was like all the novels he’s ever read finally made sense. All the love songs, all the poems, everything he’s ever heard about love proved to be real, not just a fragment of an inspired person’s imagination.

Love, what a strange feeling it was. How weird it was to fall head over heels for someone he didn’t even know the name of.

He never thought it would happen to him. Not like this. 

He remembers that day perfectly. It was late April, the cherry blossoms were in bloom, and in-between the concerts and the tight schedules, he had a day off.

It was rare to be able to go on his own to a new city just to explore, to get lost in the intricate architecture, to breathe in the scent of unfamiliar streets, taste new foods and simply enjoy being a normal person, far away from his otherwise extremely overwhelming life.

On that day, he left the hotel with no plan in mind. All he wanted to do was to be a tourist, to head nowhere in particular and to enjoy as much as possible before his departure the next day. New show, new city, new people, new everything. It was tiring, really, to always be on the way somewhere, so he decided that for this outing, he wouldn’t be on the way to anywhere.

He wanted to be a regular person for a change, not the famous Hyunjin.

And so, he began walking slowly, his hands in his jeans, a cap on his head and a mask covering half of his face. He dressed as modestly as he could, making sure to not draw any attention, and he walked and walked and walked, smiling to himself and feeling truly happy for the first time in a long while.

Sure, being on stage made him happy; Stray Kids made him happy, and he enjoyed being at home with his family. But being on his own in a new place, just able to walk and enjoy a warm spring day? That’s when he truly felt free.

For the first two hours, he simply walked with a coffee in his hand, sipping once in a while. He sat on a few benches here and there, and then he resumed his walk, until eventually, he found himself in front of a beautiful building, maybe the most beautiful he’s ever seen ever since he left the hotel.

At closer inspection, he realised that the building was actually an art museum, and how perfect that was for him. He never planned on coming there, but being in front of such a magnificent museum, he felt like he could find answers to all his questions, and that he would finally be able to get over his art block.

He went in, paid for his ticket and got scanned for any weapons at the entrance like any other person, and he smiled to himself once more at the thought that no one recognised him. No one knew who he was, so he could just be someone else for a little while – not famous, not Versace’s Prince, not Stray Kids’ best dancer or visual or whatever else the media said about him.

And what a liberating feeling that was!

He walked and admired works of art for hours. The museum was so large, so impressive, he could just walk for a whole day in it and not get bored.

Unfortunately though, all the walking ended up making his legs grow tired, so he took the liberty to sit down on one of the benches inside. He picked his spot carefully, finding the most complex painting he could, and to his delight, there was a bench right in front of it.

The day couldn’t have been more perfect.

But then, as he approached the bench, he spotted you.

You weren’t anything extraordinary. You weren’t dressed particularly nice, you didn’t wear any make-up, and your eyes seemed very tired, but still, something about you made Hyunjin unable to take his eyes away.

You came and sat down right next to him, but you couldn’t care less about him, he noticed. You didn’t spare him even one glance. Instead, you focused on your apparent task at hand, which was taking out a large notebook out of your backpack and opening it up on a blank page. You then looked at the painting for a good fifteen minutes, Hyunjin counted, and after your intense staring, your eyes darted back to your notebook as you took out a pencil and began sketching.

Hyunjin was so drawn to the way you were drawing, each line sketched with perfect precision and confidence, and he found himself lacking. It was always hard to sketch, and his drawings never came out the way he wanted them to.

He watched you for more than an hour as you drew line after line, and when you were mostly done, you raised your notebook in the air and looked at your sketch, comparing it to the large painting in front of you.

Your face was displeased, Hyunjin noticed, and what you did next shocked him to the core. You clicked your tongue and ripped the paper away from the notebook, crumbling it with a soft sigh and a shake of your head.

“Oh, God!” He exclaimed loudly. He didn’t mean to do so, but he was genuinely shocked, and he couldn’t hold it in.

You turned to look at him with a confused expression, noticing for the first time that someone was sitting next to you. You were so absorbed with drawing that you couldn’t bring yourself to care about your surroundings at all, so it was no surprise that you didn’t see this random man staring at you for the past hour.

“Uhm…” You started, “Were you talking to me?”

“Yes… sorry… it’s just that I think your drawing was very beautiful. Why would you crumble it like that?” Hyunjin spoke, realising he might’ve been out of line.

“Oh, this?” You chuckled. “It’s shit, man. It’s the third time I’m trying to do this, but I just can’t get it right.”

“What? You got it perfectly!” He insisted.

“No.” You chuckled again. “But thank you for saying that. I appreciate it.”

As you replied, you sighed again and turned your attention back to your notebook, and so, you began drawing again.

“Are you going to try it again?”

“Obviously.”

“Why?”

“Exam.” You replied shortly, your eyes so focused, Hyunjin found it rude to interrupt you again.

Still, he couldn’t take his eyes away, completely captivated by how focused you looked when sketching. He decided to be rude once more, not truly wanting to disturb your concentration, but wanting to make sure that you wouldn’t mind his presence.

“Do you mind if I stay here and watch?”

“And why would you do that?” You asked, your eyes still stuck to your notebook.

“I’m an… aspiring artist, you could say. My sketches are not nearly as good as yours, so I feel like I could learn a lot from your technique.” Hyunjin replied truthfully.

“Sure, I don’t mind.” You shrugged, so Hyunjin decided to keep silent this time around, and he just watched how meticulous you’d draw each line, fully immersed in your creative process.

It took you two hours to finish, but when you finally put your notebook in the air the second time, you seemed more satisfied with the result.

“What do you think?” You asked, turning to look at him with a genuine smile, and he felt his heart skip a beat.

“I think that’s very beautiful. I love the shadows you added there, and I can’t understand for the life of me how you’ve managed to perfectly capture the viewer’s perception of all the elements.” Hyunjin took in a breath and then looked back at the original painting, before his eyes darted once more to your drawing. “The proportions are perfect as well. You nailed it.”

“Really?” You replied with an even larger smile.

“Yes.” Hyunjin chuckled a bit at your enthusiasm.

“Do you have any of your drawings with you? I’d love to see them.” You smiled once more, your eyes sparkling with excitement, and Hyunjin felt glad that he carried his notebook with him at all times.

He pulled it out of his bag and handed it to you, and you immediately began looking through it, nodding your head ever so slightly every once in a while.

“These are great.” You spoke eventually.

“What can I improve?”

“Hmm… let’s start with this one, maybe?” You showed him a drawing and began pointing out which areas he should work on better, and you even showed him a few examples by quickly resketching his drawings in your own notebook.

“Is the museum closing?” He asked after some time has passed – hours, to be more specific, which he didn’t even realise. He enjoyed so much talking with you about art, that time stood still, and the world around him didn’t matter anymore.

“Oh, I think so. We should go.” You chuckled.

“I really enjoyed talking with you… and I’d really love to talk to you and see you again. If you want to, of course.” Hyunjin said as you both made your way to the exit.

“Oh, me too, but… I’m currently just visiting my family. I got a scholarship and I’m attending a University in Korea this year, so I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to meet you again…” You smiled sadly. "We could text, though."

“Wait,  in Korea? Really? Where? In Seoul?”

“Yes.”

“I actually live there myself! Well, I’ll be back there in around two weeks, but still!”

“Really?” You gasped. “That’s such a fortunate coincidence!”

“Right? I can’t believe it!” He laughed. “Then… could you give me your number, maybe?”

~

That’s how you and Hyunjin started talking every day. He would send you sketches or random pictures he’d take around the world, and at first, you had no clue who he was or why he was travelling so much. It came as a shock when he eventually told you that he’s famous. You genuinely couldn’t believe it that this random man who’s grown to be such a consistant part of your day-to-day life in such a short time was actually a superstar.

You regretted catching feelings for him, because you never thought you’d be lucky enough for him to reciprocate them, but when he confessed that he’s also been harbouring much the same feelings as you did, you were over the moon, and so was Hyunjin.

Love was simply the most beautiful feeling in the world for him, and falling in love with you through your every day chats and multiple meet-ups throughout the week has been one of the best moments of his life.

But nothing could’ve prepared him for falling out of love.

The pain was tough, but the guilt was almost unbearable.

Hyunjin didn’t know how it happened or why, but he found himself replying less and less often to your texts, and he didn’t get much joy in receiving messages from you anymore. Talking to you used to be the part of the day he was looking forward to the most, but all of a sudden, he could go hours without replying to you and he wouldn't even notice anything missing.

He still enjoyed your presence and talking with you about your common interests once in a while, but the spark he once felt was simply gone, and it scared him. It made him feel like a horrible person. 

And the worst part of it all? No one understood him. No one seemed to know the answers to the questions in his heart, or the internal battle he’d been fighting.

Except for you.

You immediately felt the shift in his feelings, in the way he would hug you and kiss you. Making love felt more like sex than love, which was such a weird feeling when you were used to Hyunjin being so passionate about anything concerning you.

But you felt him slipping away through your fingers with each delayed text, with each cancelled plan, and you knew the end was coming.

It was agony to come to terms with the fact that your love only lasted for 6 months, especially when you were still so in love with him, and you were longing his presence more and more every day.

You felt that it was fate that brought you two together. It was fate working its weird, little ways of having both of you live in the same city, even if only temporarily. It was fate that Hyunjin and you had the same interests, the same taste in music, the same passions.

So, why? Why would fate be so cruel to deal you these hands of a short-lived love?

But, despite feeling this uncertainty for a while, you couldn’t bring yourself to let him go. You never voiced these concerns to him, no matter how much it hurt you, and you let himself become more and more distant.

Each time you’d make a plan with him, you would wonder if it would be last time you’d see each other – if he would finally get enough courage to tell you that he’s no longer in love with you.

You even began realising that he was probably never actually in love with you, but with the idea of love itself, and it hurt. It hurt so badly.

And so, with the November rain mercilessly crashing against your windows, you knew everything was bound to change, much like the seasons outside. The beautiful autumn was quickly turning into a harsh winter, just as you were anticipating the apparently inevitable break-up. 

You were waiting for Hyunjin to come to your apartment, and when he got there, you immediately realised that this would be the day he would finally muster up his courage and break up with you.

Damien Rice was playing in the background as you two walked in your small kitchen and sat down at the table, and with the way he was averting his gaze, you knew.

“Listen…” he started, so you kept quiet. “I have to tell you something…”

“Alright.” You nodded with a soft smile, conveying all the sadness you’ve been feeling for the past few weeks. “I’m listening.”

“I don’t… I’m so, so sorry… I don’t even know how to say this in a better way, or how to apologise, and I’ve tried to change it so hard, but no matter what I did, I realised… I don’t love you anymore.”

You were expecting this, but it still somehow took you off guard. You didn’t know what to reply.

“I’ve been thinking long and hard about this for the past couple of weeks, but… What I feel… it’s just not the same…”

“So… This is it, huh?” You asked in a quiet voice. “Is this how we’re breaking up?”

“Yes… I’m so sorry for everything. I wish I could still love you, but I… I have to walk away. I have to leave. I’m sorry.”

Tears began running down your cheeks in quick succession and you started sobbing quietly. Still, nothing Hyunjin would tell you would be able to comfort you in any way, so you decided to spare both of you of this relentless suffering. You just nodded and told him he could leave, and he did with no further words.

It broke your heart that such a passionate love turned you two into strangers so quickly, and although love used to warm up your heart, it now left you so unbearably cold, you didn’t know how you would pick back up the broken pieces of your shattered heart.