#a slo-mo car crash

[roma107]

@sassydefendorflower

https://twitter.com/fairlyaIright/status/1014603417946345473

[heartscrypt]

watching a reality tv show called milf manor rn and irs actually like being in hell IM IN HELL

[almostempty]

Look at this photograph

(joel miller x f!reader)

The half sequel (Chapter 1.5) to Never made it as a wise man

WC: 3.5k | Part 1 | Other fics | Rating: 18+ 

Summary: you open Joel’s dick pic and (after examination) decide to give him a call

Note: it’s me ya boi (gn), back with more divorceddadrockdilf!joel bc you guys get me. i know y’all want them to fuck, and I want them to fuck too. unfortunately, this flowed through me first, and I am merely a vessel for the spirit of buttrock joel. 

so, until they get their freak nasty on, please enjoy this as a chapter 1.5, with gratuitous dick pic art critique and crankin’ it over the phone <3 don’t worry, he’s still a lil pathetic. mistakes and bad jokes are all on me. 

Tags: au no outbreak modern joel, divorced dad rock dilf joel x f!reader, picks up right where ch.1 ended, dick pic descriptions, alternating pov, dirty talk, phone sex, masturbation, it’s all just phone sex, but edge yourself through it with fond memories of ch. 1, still crackish, but i am still dead serious about it being hot so idc

inspo playlist i found on spotify: Divorced Dad Rock: BANGERZ

thanks: to @hellishjoel for hosting the #hotdilfsummerchallenge and to everyone who enjoyed part 1 

@gothcsz i promise fuckboy!joel is cookin, he’s just in the crockpot rn. he’s gotta tenderize like a white lady’s pinterest recipe for pulled pork. 

* i tried to tag everyone who wanted more, but if you don’t wanna be here i’ll remove it <3 or if i missed you and you want to be tagged next time pls let me know

“Oh, Jesus Christ,” you blurt out after opening the message from Joel. The vulgar dick pic sends a prickly worm of arousal slithering down your spine. 

Without thinking, you tilt the phone down toward your chest, and your eyes shoot up like you’ve got to make sure nobody saw your naughty message. Warmth blooms on your cheeks as the flash of embarrassment starts to dissolve. You don’t need to hide. 

You’re in your bed, in your apartment, wearing Joel’s grubby Creed t-shirt. The one that smells like Degree Sport and a Jiffy Lube break room. You're free to look at all the dick pics your heart desires. And that’s what you’re going to do. 

The wiggle of bashful energy turns into a squirm as you shift your hips, seeking a comfy position in bed. The t-shirt bunches up under your back and you wonder if the unique Joel scent of it will linger on your pillow beneath your shoulders. You knew pilfering the shirt on the way out the door was a good move, and now you get to enjoy your trophy. It makes it feel like the broad-as-a-barn-door DILF himself was still close enough to touch you. 

It gives you another bright shudder when you think about the noises he made when he came in your hand earlier. The disappointed grunts of “fuck, wait” and how he tried to choke down the throaty groan that came from deep in his chest. Fuck. The perverted gremlins that have a permanent residence in your mind have been roused by the digital dick, and now they chitter and squawk at you. More! More! More!  

You reopen the message, and seeing it gives you another rush. You save the picture to your phone storage. For your personal collection. Mine now, big boy. Your chin starts to dip towards your chest. It’s like you’re giving your phone the Kubrick stare with the ghost of a smirk. You’re free to take your time with this one. And you can be as much of a creep as you want. That makes you sigh softly and sink deeper against your pillows. 

Before this afternoon, it was titillating when Joel would pop up in your mind's eye with his slutty slo-mo scenes. The one where he was bent over your car's engine like Megan Fox in that Transformers movie. Or, that damn happy trail tease with the t-shirt-sweat-rag move. You had just enough imagery to let your dirty thoughts take the wheel. 

And, god, you had a good production team in your mind for projects starring Joel. Adding this will give the team a whole lot more to work with. You can hear them crashing around your conscious like the Animaniacs on the Warner Brothers lot. Horny chaos goblin mode activated. 

Now that you have time to study the image, from the luxury of your microfiber sheets and lamplit bedroom, you let it get pervy. It’s your first real, lingering look–earlier today, you were so busy trying to rile him up in his jeans that you didn’t even pull it out.

It had somehow been even more delicious that way. Having him all needy and unable to stop himself from making a mess in your hand. And not just the noises, but the erratic thrusts into your tight fist? The heat of his pulsing length as he forgot himself? Yeah, you’re gonna remember that one. 

But now? Now you need the visual. If the devil is in the details, you have a new neighbor with horns and a tail. 

You zoom in on everything. Holding your phone closer to your face than necessary, like how do we enhance this bitch? 

And holy shit. 

Drool pools in your mouth and between your legs. You have the knee-jerk reaction to lick your phone. 

You can hear Joel’s voice from earlier today. All husky and grumbly, arguing that you really were a slut for him, like, “You are, aren’t you, though? You came all this way in this excuse for a shirt just to see me?”  He might be touch-starved enough to cream his jeans, but you just know he’s got a nasty mouth in bed, and you’ve got to find out firsthand. Soon. There’s no reason not to, right? 

You pause when a flicker of reasoning tickles the back of your neck. 

You’re back to looking in your review mirror in Joel’s driveway. The last-ditch attempt at checking your ego before you marched to his front door like a Halloween hoe bag version of Betty Crocker. 

You had told yourself you weren’t trying to fuck your (almost) friend’s (sort of) dad. Told yourself there was nothing to pursue, and even if there was, you wouldn’t bite. 

You like Ellie. She’s been (mostly) welcoming to you. You told yourself not to fuck anything up with the only person that’s got a single one of your jokes at your new job. 

You were just bringing some food as a friendly gesture. The fresh visuals to add to your spank bank reel were supposed to be a harmless bonus. Okay, maybe it was a stretch to say you had rolled up to Joel’s driveway with pure intentions. 

And it was an even bigger stretch–when he added that third finger while he finger fucked you on the kitchen counter—wait, no. It was an even bigger stretch when you had told yourself you probably weren’t his type anyway. 

Like, that guy? With the fridge full of Coors Banquet? With those ugly Oakley sunglasses that you know are featured in his only picture on social media that isn’t a car or truck? The guy with all the words to Buckcherry’s “Crazy Bitch” and Puddle of Mudd’s “She Hates Me” memorized? 

Nah, deep down, you knew. You knew there was no way that middle-aged bachelor would turn down any action. But you hadn’t planned on actually making a move, especially not a handjob in the middle of the kitchen. 

That’s on Joel for leaving the door open while trying to rub one out to some bimbo on Brazzers. And for barking at you in that sexy, angry voice. And for teasing you with the bulge in his oil-stained jeans. What were you supposed to do? 

Something must be really rotting in the logic department of your brain. 

Hey! The gremlin voice in your head is still shouting at you. Hey!! Why are we not tasting that dick yet?!! You’re back from your daydream and the excuses you crafted for your behavior, back to laying in your bed with Joel’s dick pic emitting a bright glow in your hand. 

You still do want to lick the screen. 

Fortunately for your immune system, you control your tongue. The critical part of you expels a sigh when you zoom out and take in the picture. 

It’s undoubtedly a nice cock, but the image as a whole? Yikes. 

Why do men have to be so fucking thick? And blunt? Wait, now you’re just describing the slightly blurry boner lighting up your face. Thick as in dense. How can men be so dense? 

No imagination or creativity. No patience. 

You shake your head slightly, scoffing. No wonder you caught him hunched over his cracked phone screen. It was probably the first video loaded on the only site he had saved. 

No sweet, sweet, buildup, setting the mood, or getting cozy. Just whippin’ it out midday or snapping a photo in some ratty sweats. 

Like you’ve never been that touch-starved or down bad?

You ignore that voice to continue your art critique. 

The photo you sent is… sexy. 

Sultry. A flirty tease. It says, “Look who has your shirt? Am I wearing it in bed? Do you think I'm wearing anything else?” 

It’s all implied in the look in your eye and the picture's composition. The tease of the soft curves on the underside of your breasts, asking if he remembers what they felt like. Your hand bunching up the shirt, asking if he remembers the slide of that fist around his cock. If he remembers those fingers, the ones you sucked his sticky spend off of. 

Such delicately crafted imagery. Personalized erotic fine art.  

But men are so crude about it. He sees your tasteful, sexy pic, and immediately, the best his caveman brain can come up with is: send her ur dick! STAT!! Hard cock! Now!!

And, of course, he did. Taken in the dark with the flash on, making ominous shadows in the background. His old charcoal gray sweats are pulled down just enough to expose everything he’s offering. 

The color is slightly blown out from the flash, and it’s a touch blurry where his phone didn’t autofocus quickly enough. His hand looks like it’s straight up, just choking the base of his cock. It’s jarring. 

But that’s really the “man” of it all, right? Nothing subtle or demure about a rock-hard erection jutting towards you, reaching like it could get to you on its own if it just could get a little bit harder. No, there’s nothing coy about the raw thoughts of a man with no blood left in his brain who’s just aching to get inside you, either. 

And fuck if that doesn’t start to override your critical analysis. 

The glare from the flash reflects in the beads of precome rolling down his rosy tip. Mouth wateringly delicious. Your blood rushes to your pussy, filling your tender sex with heat and a deep, needy itch. It makes you dopey and silly. Not cock drunk, but like, dick pic buzzed. 

You know it felt sizeable in your hand earlier, but you aren’t an expert at estimating size from a through-the-pants handjob. You try to recreate your own grip around nothing to estimate the size. 

You giggle to yourself when you realize you're just a woman in her bed staring at her hand, jerking an invisible cock. The horny goblins aren’t amused, though. They’re sick of the daydreaming and distractions. They’re picking fights with the rest of your mind. Throwing rocks and sticks, shrieking and hissing. 

The part of your brain that was griping about how men used to write love letters and respect the art of romance is getting quieter and further from your faculty for caring. You can hear its muffled shouts, and you assure that voice that you won’t give it all up this easily. Then, you completely tune it out. 

The last brain cell with a complaint has you rolling your eyes. You have to be ovulating or something because it’s wholly debased the way this guy is doing it for you. 

He’s just shameless with it. 

You sent him tasteful underboob, and he gives you jumpscare dick-in-the-dark! How is this supposed to escalate? He gave it all up immediately! You send another picture, and he sends you his money shot? What’s he gonna do to give you more? Send you an asshole shot? That one makes you snort. You bet he would do it, too, if you asked. 

Oh, that gives you a better idea. He’s not getting another picture from you at all. You tap on his name and tap the call icon. Of course, this horny motherfucker answers immediately. You aren’t sure it even rang before you’re connected to his porny bedroom voice. 

“What are you wearing, dollface?” 

“I already showed you. Call me dollface again, and I’m hanging up.” 

You can hear his breathing like he’s got the mic on his phone in his mouth. That would typically drive you fucking nuts, but right now, you wanna hear his heavy breath against your ear and feel it hot against your skin.

“All right,” he speaks slowly, distracted. You know why. “You wanna be my slut, instead?” 

Fuck. That has you throbbing between your legs, but he doesn’t get to know that yet. 

“I already told you,” you keep your voice low and soft, “you don’t get to call me a slut for you, not with your behavior.” You strain, trying to hear any other noises, but his mic is probably clogged with dust from his shop or lint from the pocket of his sweats. You can just hear his fucking breathing. 

“What behavior, baby?” he rasps.

“You always jump straight to sending a picture of your cock?” 

You hear the soft snort through the phone. Followed by a deeper, throatier noise. A noise that makes you go cross-eyed and has you running a hand down to your naked lower half to tease yourself. 

“You always steal a man’s clothes after you come on his fingers?” 

You don’t really care what he asked. His voice makes your tongue go numb. Your mind goes blank. You start slowly, coating your own fingers in your slick arousal and drawing circles with a light touch. 

You hum a noncommittal response into the phone. 

“You look good in my shirt, baby, fuck,” he trails off breathlessly. The idea of you in his clothes gets him too close. 

You don’t answer, and he’s too far gone to wait and tease. 

He’s been wound up since you took off this afternoon, and it doesn’t feel like a coincidence that you sent him that pic when he had just gotten into bed.

It had taken ages to get his brother out of the shop this afternoon, and then Joel completely fucked up when he mentioned you and the lasagna. He had to begrudgingly host Tommy for dinner when he couldn’t come up with a better excuse than saying, “I’m gonna need you to fuck off so I can deal with the aching balls I’ve got from your surprise visit scaring away the woman I had my fingers knuckle deep inside.”

But when he was finally alone, it was like fate; your text came through right after he flopped onto his bed. His semi-stiff cock had sprung to full mast at the sight of you. The shirt he knew he didn’t fuckin’ lose, your soft curves, and the expression on your face. Like a vixen. Your PG-13 tease would do more for him than any X-rated video. 

Knowing you were thinking about him and that you wanted him to know? That had him throbbing. He already knew from the desire in your eyes earlier today that you wanted more.

He could swear his fingers still hold the lingering flavor of your wet cunt. The visceral memory of you has him on edge. When he wraps his hand around the base of his cock, he has to pause, holding firmly in place. His body screams and aches for release, but he’s determined to keep it in check. He doesn’t want to blow his load until he gets a response from you. 

He fights his urges, trying not to fuck his own fist in a frantic race to come. 

But, fuck, it’s difficult when he can imagine the sounds you’d make as you sank onto his cock for the first time. The face you’d make. Your tight, wet walls hugging him just right. Like, he’s where he’s meant to be. 

And the way you would look, bouncing on top of him. Your tits, your blissed-out face, the way your soft lips would part when you called out his name and cried for more. 

Those lips. 

The way he’d love to see them swollen and slobbering around the base of his cock. Fuck. His hips buck reflexively, and he hisses out a breath through his clenched teeth. When his phone lights up with your name, he answers before it can make a sound. You’re so bold. He likes that. It plasters a saucy grin on his face. 

And now, with your breathy voice crackling through his janky phone speaker, he’s not gonna last long. You've got him losing his composure for the second time in one day. His whole body is rigid. His toes flex and snap unconsciously, and his jaw tenses. He hears your soft moan, and his thoughts are overflowing. He has no filter left. 

“Yeah, baby? You moaning for me?” His hips punch up into his fist, and he gives in, allowing himself firm, severe strokes. “You’ve got me so hard. You moaning for my cock?” 

You are so not gonna answer that one. If the next words out his mouth are, “Yeah, you like that?” you’re gonna block him for that. But it is undeniably hot to hear him already so worked up. You just know he’s gonna be coming all over himself again for you, and that really does make you moan just for him.

Your noises earn you another growly groan from Joel that you’d kill to hear again. The more uninhibited his noises are, the louder you get in response.

“You using your fingers, or you have a toy?” his question is punctuated with a grunt. 

“Mm, just fingers,” you purr, finally granting him an actual response as you roll your hips. Having Joel on the line gives you a heady sense of satisfaction. Wondering what’s going to come out of his filthy mouth next gives you a shiver of anticipation. 

“I know that sweet pussy is just achin’ to be filled again.” Correct. 

“Yes.” 

“S’right, baby, I know.” 

Joel whimpering on the phone for you is absolutely going to get you off. Your hips chase your own fingers. You switch your phone audio to speakerphone and drop it on your pillow so you can use both hands. Pinching at your own nipples as if it were Joel’s big hand under your smuggled shirt. 

“Tell me,” he pants, “who do you need to fill it for you?” 

“You, Joel.” 

“Fuck,” he chokes out, “you wanna ride this cock, huh baby?” 

“Mhmm.” Bingo. Right again. You wish you could feel the pressure of him inside of you, massaging and soothing away the agony. The weight of his body atop of yours, so solid and secure. You can just about feel the pressure of his pelvis grinding into you. The friction from the coarse curls at the base of his cock getting you closer and closer. 

“Know you’d do so good,” he cuts himself off with a low noise, “so damn sexy.” 

“What else would you do with me?” You wanna hear it. For your own fantasy and to know what he’s into.  

“I’d have you taking me down your throat til you’re crying on it for me, fuck,” a primal noise erupts from him.

Face fucking. Of course. You can’t deny that when he says it, your body responds instantaneously. Your pussy floods eagerly at the idea, and your cheeks burn hot from the visual he gives you. You swallow down your moans, and you can imagine the weight of him on your tongue and the strain of trying to swallow around his cock. 

“You wanna come down my throat?” As if that isn’t a fucking siren song that would make him steer a fleet of ships into a cliff? Your salacious words are too much. 

“Shit. Yeah, baby, wanna watch you swallow for me.” You let all your moans and gasps flow freely for him to hear. “I’m so fuckin’ close,” he can’t stop the words from spilling out his mouth, “let me hear it, baby,” he can’t stop his pending bliss either. “Please, baby, I can’t, oh f-fuck,” he cuts himself off with another primitive grunt, and that’s precisely what your cavewoman cunt wanted to hear. 

“Yes! Yes! Yes!” The horny goblins chant out loud this time. You can envision sweaty, pleading Joel lurching toward a reckless, full-body climax. 

You’re far from grace when the crude sounds he lets out turn you into an uncivilized beast. You hear him gasping, growling, and whining for you. It plunges you into a staggering orgasm. Rolling waves of ecstasy leave you panting and sweating.  

You lie in bed, chest rising and falling beneath the Creed logo. You’re left stunned at the intensity. A dreamy smile spreads across your face, and warm contentment, like honey, pours slowly over your muscles. Relaxing you as your tension softens and you turn to pick your phone back up.

Why was it so wholly consuming just to listen to him? Imagining the mess he made again,

because of you. 

Maybe you’re just made for each other. 

You and Joel. 

Oh, god. You should start listening to Alanis Morissette and Evanescence and trade your car for a 1990s-era Toyota 4runner and a pack of Marlboro Smooths. Really lean into matching his freak and the divorced alt-rock vibes.

You laugh softly into your phone before a deep sigh possesses you, and you nearly fall asleep. You stretch and smile, letting your heavy eyelids rest. 

He’s muttering something at you, catching his breath from the stress of being that fucking horned up for you all evening. And the overexertion of lasting long enough to hear your sweet cries of release. 

“You’re unreal,” his smoky voice rings with awe. “Got me shooting loads like a fucking teenager.”

You snort at the juxtaposition of his tender voice and crude comment before ending the call with a whispered, “Goodnight.” 

It shouldn’t make you smile. 

But he’s somehow such an enticing disaster. A cliche lonely bachelor, a cocksure idiot who knows he’s got a big dick and a generous guy who was willing to fix a stranger's car. 

You shouldn’t be trying to justify it, but you know he had you figured out earlier. 

You may be sated tonight, but you won’t be able to rest.

Not until you get your hands on that DILF – or rather, your pussy on that dick. 

divider by @cyberangel-graphics

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[strniohoeee]

chris has a fat crush on reader but since he's scared of his feelings he just teases her / mistreats her bc he won't accept the fact that he has a crush but nick puts him in his place

Blue Flats

Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Chris always had a thing for teasing Y/N, but what happens when he takes it too far? Annoyed by his actions she vowed to never speak to Chris again, but will it change when all that was done is forgiven? 👤

Warnings⚠️: None, this is lowkey enemies to lovers if you SQUINT. I kind of loved this one had me giggling and what not ☝🏽🤓. Hope you enjoy babesss🫶🏽

Song for imagine: There Goes My Baby- The Drifters

There goes my baby

Moving on down the line

Wonder where, wonder where, wonder where

She is found

Most 20 year old men would say their biggest fear is something stupid like crashing their new car, or getting a parking ticket. But for some reason Chris’ only fear was you. Well that sounds…. Scary? He liked you alot, well actually that was an understatement. A day without you was like a year without rain.

He yearned to see your smile light up a room, and to hear your annoying laugh that somehow made his heart burst with joy. Fighting back a smile every time he saw you or anytime your name was mentioned. He was scared of commitment and was scared of ruining things with someone he liked so much.

Everyday was a constant battle that started many years ago. For a long time Chris hated you, he found you annoying and anal about everything. A goody who was scared of the outside world. Constantly teasing you with his friends like throwing pebbles at you when you would walk by. To say Chris was an asshole was an understatement.

Flashback

“Chrissss stop it” Y/N yelled as she played a very unwanted game of tug-o-war with Chris for her shiny blue ballet flats

Danging them above her head, as he was surprisingly taller than her at his 10 year old age.

“Or what? Going to cry to mommy?” He asked her tauntingly as his friends laughed behind him

“You’re being so mean to me” The young girl replied hurt and mainly embarrassed by the crowd now surrounding them

“Snitches get stitches” He replies lifting the shoes higher

“You spit gum in my hair! I had every right to taddle to your mom” She squeaked as she jumped to attempt and snatch her shoes from his grasp

“No one likes you anyways” He replies pushing her away

“Just give me my shoes” She replies as tears threatened to spill from her eyes

“Since you want them so bad then get them” He states as he chucks them over his shoulder into a puddle of brown water

Y/N’s beautiful blue flats completely destroyed by Chris’ careless actions

As the crowd cleared out, Y/N looked over at Chris as she wiped her now dirty hands across her face to clear her tears out.

“I hate you Chris, I never want to see you again” She replied running home with her dirty shoes in her hands

Flashback over

His mind often went to that day. He couldn’t fathom the idea of liking you because you know girls had cooties at that age. So instead he teased you in hopes that you would think it was funny and would catch on.

However he should’ve known that wasn’t the case as you were a very sensitive person since you could open your eyes. Constantly kicking himself over the whole ordeal. Except in Sophomore year of high school when his crush made his heart feel like a tight rubber band ready to snap.

He had to talk to you and clear all this up, or any chance with you would be doomed. So when he approached you and you actually treated him like a normal human being, he felt even worse. Wincing at the cringey apology he decided was right, he felt an instant weight off his shoulders when the words “it’s water under the bridge” left your lips.

Like a record scratch, a pause in time, a slo mo from a cheesy rom com. His eyes slowly blinked as you smiled at him. Patting his shoulder and offering him a term of endearment. That changed his feelings towards you even more. Even after what he did to you, you had still been nice to him.

So as you walked away in those blue ballerina flats that were oh so similar to the ones from when you were a kid. He only had one thought in his mind…..” I have got to get her”

Yet as the both of you got close, not by choice might I add. Nick and Y/N had became best friends in junior year, so he always found his way to be near the girl. You would think he tried his best to ask you out.

But nope, instead he continued to tease you and mistreat you. Often bantering as you both crossed each others path. And even with their fame they stood friends with the flourishing girl. Splitting time between LA and Boston.

As they got more fame though they rarely came back to Boston as much as they used to. However it was Fourth of July which meant they’d be back in town. And lucky for Chris this meant sleepovers with you…. Well more like sleepovers with Nick, but he would still find a way to shimmy himself in and tease you.

Even while in LA if you and Nick were on the phone he’d waste no time throwing a jab at you. Nick often puts himself on mute to curse Chris out. Something you found funny and just the slight laugh Chris would hear would have him on cloud 9. He would even comment under your instagram posts. Many foolish boyish comments that had the young girl blushing and giggling.

Sliding into the island chair in his mom’s kitchen he grabbed a few chips and shoved them in his mouth. His mom is cooking some pasta in preparation for the fourth of July party that had just begun. Most of their close family and friends in their yard talking and laughing over the music playing. Their block is full of young kids running around and laughing, chasing each other with water guns and playing tag.

“Chris don’t spoil your appetite sweetheart” His mom stated as she handed a pan of food over to her friend to take outside

“Yeah Chrissy poo don’t mess up your appetite” Matt came in mocking him

“Beat it asshole” Chris replied shoving Matt’s hand off his shoulder

Rushing in the back door was Y/N.

Sliding around the island

“Is there anything I can help you with?’ She asked their mom

“Oh no sweety I’m all good here, thank you” She replied as she strained the pasta

“If you do need any help do ask” She says smiling at Mary Lou

“Still a brown noser even out of school” Chris states tossing a chip in his mouth

“At least she asked me if I needed help unlike you, so knock it off” Mary states looking over at Chris with a stern face

Rolling his eyes, he took a sip of his pepsi as Y/N smirked at him

“Hey, do you happen to know where Nick is?” She asked their mom

“Actually I don’t, but feel free to search the house for him” She replies to the girl

“I am shocked you don’t know where he is, you practically live up his ass” Chris replies sticking his tongue out at Y/N

“Real mature Chris’’ His mom states as she turns around and give him the stern mom look

“You better apologize to Y/N right now” She states turning her back to him

“What it was just-” but he was soon cut off

“Now! Christopher” She states sternly

Scoffing and rolling his eyes, he obliges and says he’s sorry

“Apology accepted Christopher” She replies sticking her tongue out at him. She knew he hated being called by his first name.

Sliding out of the kitchen Y/N soon disappeared to some part of the house to retrieve Nick.

That whole night consisted of Y/N and Chris bantering. Spitting watermelon seeds down each others shirts, Chris tripping her, and even pushing her into the pool ‘accidentally’

Now in the kitchen his parents made him clean up the kitchen with Y/N because they couldn’t take the childish behavior. They wanted them to talk it out and come back out once all issues were resolved.

“Why are you such an asshole?” She suddenly asks him as he poured himself something to drink in his red solo cup

“Am not” He states sipping on his pepsi

“After the childhood bullying from you. You would think you would have changed” She replies spraying down the counter and cleaning it

“I was a child and you take things too serious” He replied looking over at her

“And you are 20, so the stupid teen boy bullshit should have ended” She says slamming the counter drawer shut

“It’s all harmless my god you are still so anal” He replied drying the dishes

“So do you just like hate me?” She asks the boy

This causes him to get nervous, grabbing his drink and sipping it slowly he takes a while to answer.

“No, but you’re just easy to pick on” He states, screwing his eyes shut he mentally kicks himself in the head for that.

Scoffing at him she threw the rag down

“How mature.. You haven’t changed much Chris” She says rolling her eyes at him

“And neither have you, still a cry baby” He says shrugging his shoulders

What the fuck was he doing? Was all he kept thinking. Why was he being such a dick? Subconsciously pushing her away out of fear.

“I should’ve listened to Elena Sophomore year of high school” She states harshly as she begins to walk out the kitchen

“Yeah? And what amazing advice did two face Elena give?” He asks her

“To never forgive you for your actions because you’ll always stay the same… a bully” She replies shaking her head and storming off

Slipping right past Nick, sniffling as she wiped her eyes. Avoiding contact with him and heading out their front door

“Hey Y/N-” Nick began as his eyes followed you out the front door. Not getting to finish his sentence before you were out the front door.

Storming into the kitchen, to say he was shocked that Chris was in there was an understatement.

“What did you do now?” Nick asked Chris, watching as his eyes stared into his red solo cup

“Nothing” He replied guilty as hell

“Y/N practically ran out our door crying, so you must have done something to upset her” He says

“Crying?” Chris asks shaking his head

“You are such a moron. You need to come to your senses and stop being a complete dick. You have the biggest crush on Y/N, and your actions are pushing her far away. She likes you a lot too, but she will not stick around much longer for this cringey childlike behavior.” Nick states jamming his pointer finger onto the counter

“I’m scared Nick, what if I mess things up. You know how scared of commitment I am” Chris replied looking up at his brother

“If you don’t fix this now yall’s relationship will forever be fucked” He states

“I don’t know what to do” Chris exclaims

“Talk to her and apologize for being an asshole” He says getting frustrated with his younger brother

“I know, but what do I even say?” He asks his brother

“I don’t know, but what I do know is that your answer isn’t at the bottom of that cup, so put it down and go make it up to her.” Nick states as he walks to their back door

“Shit! You’re right” Chris states snapping out of it

Placing the cup on the counter Chris rushes out the front door. Locking eyes with the back of your head. You were sitting on the curb in front of their house.

Reluctantly he walked down the steps and approached you. Slowly sitting down he looked over at you.

“Hey” he stated as he sat

Looking over at him, Y/N rolled her eyes and straightened her posture

“Here to bully me some more?’ She asks him

“What? no…no “ He states furrowing his eyebrows

“So then what do you want?” She asks rudely

“I want to apologize” he replies looking over at her

“Well don’t say it if you don’t mean it” Y/N states

“Well I truly am sorry for everything I’ve ever done. Nothing I’ve ever said about you is true. I've been a complete asshole since I was 10. And I’m aware of it. And I’m so glad you forgave me in high school because…..because….”

But Chris suddenly stopped his ramble, he couldn’t form his next sentence. It became all too real as he looked into your eyes. Yours were searching for an answer and he was slowly panicking inside.

Its like those scenes in a movie where the main character is experiencing something traumatic and everything around them slows down and you only see the panic start to grow in their eyes. And their heartbeat quickens. Well yeah that was Chris right now.

But everything his brother just told him shot at his brain like speeding arrows. Piercing his memory with what just took place.

“Because I LIKE YOU, and I have always liked you since we were kids. And the moment you forgave me in Sophomore year all I could think about was getting you to be mine. But I’m an idiot because I’m so scared of commitment. I’m scared of ruining something that’s good and hurting not only myself but you as well. So I thought pushing you away and teasing you would be better. Because even if you did hate me you’d always be around for Nick and I’d always have my chance to slither in and annoy you. Because you’re the only person I want to spend my life with. And I know I’ve been a piece of shit to you for basically our whole lives, but I wish I could show you how I see you. You’re breathtakingly gorgeous, and you’re funny, and kind, and very smart. Your smile lights up a whole room and your laughter fills me with happiness. And it’s like…it’s like this love I have for you is bottling up in my chest and it’s like a rubber band ready to snap. And I guess… I guess I’m just….im just too scared to have admitted that to you a long time ago. So once again I’m sorry and if you hate me I get that; so just say the words and I’ll leave” He states never breaking eye contact with you

“I do… I do hate you” Y/N responds and his heart sinks to his stomach. Like a punch to the face, but to say he deserved this was a severe understatement

“I hate you because…. How could you wait so long to tell me those things? That you like me and that you think all those wonderful things about me?” She responds looking into his eyes for a deeper answer

“Christopher I have liked you since the day you cut my pigtails in second grade and I even liked you when you destroyed my favorite blue flats. It actually hurt me that I still liked you. So when you came to me in sophomore year, basically asking for forgiveness, I thought forgiving, you would be the doorway to you, asking me out or even telling me how you truly feel” Y/N states as Chris’ eyes saddened once more

“ and I’m sorry I wish I was able to man up and tell you this before, but I was so scared so scared of your reaction and so scared of losing you but then I realize doing this actually pushed you further” He responded as he scooted closer to the young girl

“I like you a lot Chris” she responded as she looked deeper into his blue eyes

“And I like you a lot Y/N” he responded leaning in closer

And before you know it the young attractive pair had shared a loving and passionate kiss. A kiss outlined by the sparkles of the fireworks in the sky. His hand caressing her cheek as large fireworks blew up around them. The light casting a colorful reflection against them.

Making them fall deeper in love with one another. Who knew that it would be those damn blue ballerina flats that would have haunted him forever?

The End

Boy do my fingers hurt from typing away on this laptop. I don’t know I kinda fuck with this one 🤭. Thank you all once again for the support. I LOVE YALL SOOO MUCH 🥺🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

[that-left-turn]

I really feel quite problematic about watching this show. With the way norman has done all of these things that have stripped back and insulted melissa's work, I feel like I'm watching an abusive relationship. She loves him - and he treats her appallingly. And now we're even seeing that energy come through into the narrative they're playing on screen in their characters.

I'm getting increasingly certain that norman is a narcissist. And melissa is an extremely empathetic person. Those two types of people are often drawn to each other, and it always results in the narcissist mistreating the empathetic person.

I accept that I don't know them. But I don't know how else to respond to what I'm seeing. He treats her awfully, and everyone is just sitting back and letting it happen. It just makes me feel really uneasy.

It’s easy to see that there’s a problematic power dynamic at play even if you've never had any (professional or social) interaction with any of these people and it’s not something which is dismissible as “Melissa chose to be there,” because if she wants work, what’s she going to do? She's stuck in this situation with these toxic men.

Norman's actions are self-centered and inconsiderate of how any/all of this affects Melissa. It’s not a state secret that he could use some therapy, but unfortunately for the rest of us, his reps don't seem to be steering him towards good career decisions and that's their job. None of what he's doing in regard to the show is good for his future employment prospects: a difficult star who can't pull an audience and tanks a show with his 'creative input' doesn't get offers.

The showrunner should keep things balanced on set, that's part of Zabel's job, but it's a show called Daryl Dixon. Norman has top billing, is first on the callsheet and he got the showrunner his job, so fair treatment won't happen under Zabel. Even though Melissa is the person who gets universal praise by everyone who's ever worked with her and despite being the show's saving grace, she gets treated like she showed up to ruin the fun for these chipmunks who can't manage to make a show anybody wants to watch.

This resentment is why the audience is stuck watching a slo-mo car crash, feeling helpless.

[gonewildar]

Though I like Max more than Lando, the empath in me has been protesting against the wave of harsh criticism for Lando's reaction today. The clip of their collision has been analyzed, slo mo and all, and it's been shown that Max made a move against the rules, which ultimately end up costing Lando and McLaren the race + whatever that extensive car damage will add up to.

I don't doubt for a second that Max didn't mean for that to happen, but happen it did. Lando being on edge and snapping in the moment, saying he'll possibly lose respect for Max, was an immature but human reaction. Don't think it's right to make him a villain for that.

The biggest culprit in all of this is actually the FIA's inability to create and enforce rules that will minimize crashes more effectively. Clearly 5 and 10 second penalties are not enough of a deterrent for drivers to be more cautious about pulling risky moves that we see end in collisions again and again.

[thatfraudcassandra]

Notes from when we almost died.

I remember talking about something mundane. Something about invoices, I think. My husband works in Accounting, and we were talking about vendor payments. We didn’t see the red Adventure hurtle toward us, and in true movie slo-mo fashion, with everything inside the car seemingly losing gravity, RV made a split-second decision to drive us off the road. Our airbags popped open as I cry-screamed. We crashed a little to the right of the large cement post, where I’m 100% positive if RV hit that he wouldn’t be alive today. The smell of chemicals, burning things filled the car, and I remember telling RV I cannot open the door. He had to pop it open for me, all the while surveying if I had any terrible injuries. I'd always been Miss Worst-Case-Scenario. I was sure we were dying. We crawled out of the car, the one we bought after years of saving, years of publicly commuting.

We bought Luna in 2020 on the heels of the pandemic, after it became clear getting around would be much more difficult in the era of Covid. So we came and got our own, allowing us to visit family more, go places, participate in life when we couldn’t before. I wasn’t born rich - my parents didn’t own a car. I was so used to my sister, relatives, RV’s parents driving me around. It was a huge deal for us.

One split second. Our car turned into a hunk of unusable metal in one second. Later on we were told several things that chilled our blood - how if the car didn’t crash exactly where it did, we would have crashed against either of the posts by the side of the road (there were two and we landed in between them), and one of us wouldn’t have made it. How if there weren’t compacted mud preventing our acceleration, we would have hurtled toward the gorge in front of the car, where we would have careened to our deaths down an xx-foot drop into a river. How lucky I was that there was no other car coming from the right side, and the pickup behind us stopped in time and didn’t push us down the gorge. How if the other car hit ours a few inches from where it actually did, the airbags wouldn’t have opened, and we would’ve been worse off. How that intersection was the site of too many an accident, and how the first responders rarely pulled out survivors. We realized if we brought Pattie, she wouldn’t have worn a seatbelt, and she would’ve flown through the windshield.

I’ve been reminded many, many times since that day that we’re lucky to be alive. That we’re fortunate to have escaped with as little physical trauma as we had. That material things can be replaced. And I am - I’m thankful. Every day. But the memory doesn’t stop playing over and over. The regret over taking that road haunts us. I downloaded this app where you put in your triggers and it tells you whenever a movie you’re about to watch has them, because we flinch every time we see driving cars, honking, broken windshields. We didn’t even get to say goodbye to Luna, who shuttled us as we uprooted our city life and started a new one in the suburbs.

When we pass a crash site, or a car with visible dents, RV would quiz me about who was “at fault” based on the damage done to the car. He was always big on road safety. Always reminding me what to do and what not to do, even though he knows I don’t ever want to drive. He never went past the speed limit, was always mindful of roadsigns. We were never apprehended in the years he’s been driving. We couldn’t believe how even if you follow every traffic rule, you’d still figure in an accident. It’s enough to make you go bonkers.

Since the accident, we’ve said our I love yous to each other a staggering amount, we’d hugged our dog more times that she’d like, and we’ve been curled up in the sofa with a bevy of distractions on TV. There’s the nightmare of dealing with the other car, claiming our insurance, the horror of watching yet another bruise develop and overthinking about internal injuries. Then we try to sleep, and try not to remember. But we’re alive, and for today, that’s enough.

[mimismoviemayhem]

New year got me like. Cage-of-Palooza is off to a wild start with the Grindhouse craziness that is Drive Angry. There are satanic cults, physics-defying car crashes, an over-the-top badass protagonist, loads of slo-mo action, gratuitous nudity, and muscle cars. Review out now at:

[qudachuk]

Exclusive: Singer discusses his tell-all new Netflix documentary, which chronicles his rise to fame and ensuing mental health struggles, and gets candid about his career

[jingjingxuan]

Entry 7: Road trip to Launceston

My friends and I had planned a road trip to Launceston from 18 March - 20 March, and it was an unforgettable one. On 18 March Saturday morning after finishing our breakfast, all 5 of us were excited about the road trip and had collected the rented car from the airport, ready to head towards Triabunna to visit Maria Island. The weather was sunny but windy, perfect weather for an outing; the sky was blue accompanied by fluffy white clouds, and there’s a ray of light shining through the clouds.

One hour into the driving, our friend who was driving, Digan, did not realise there was a sharp turn and couldn’t slow down in time, he ended up turning the steering wheel too fast and the car swirled into the opposite lane, it ended up crashing the mountain. It all happened so suddenly, everything was like a slo-mo movie; I felt the impact when the car collided with the mountain and the car just slowly overturned to the left side. All of us were too stunned to speak and act, luckily our friend sitting in the passenger seat, Kevan was calm and climbed out of the driver’s window and helped us out one by one. Fortunately, no one was injured except for some minor cuts from the glass shatters, I felt really relieved and grateful knowing everyone was unharmed. It was everyone’s first car crash, and luckily we met a few passersby who stopped and assisted us, ensuring all of us are okay. Ambulance and police officers soon came and questioned us, then escorted us to Triabunna around 1:30 pm. This was my first life-and-death accident, it was really a close call. One major lesson was learnt through this accident; you never know what will happen in your life, so cherish every moment and don’t wait to do things you want to do or want to say to people you love, because time never waits for you.

[smolgreybunny]

What's a soundtrack you love and listen to often, but you didn't like/are indifferent to the movie and probably won't watch it again? For me it's Pete's Dragon (2016).

[mendedserpent]

Which one is the IAIN,NO one? I don't remember :(

I think it might actually be “NO, IAIN!!” but anyways here it is (just a warning, you’re gonna wanna watch this one with headphones on…)

[mapleglasses27]

Izuku Midoriya, Denki Kaminari and Shoto Todoroki with a Stoner s/o. [Requested]

Request - can you do hcs with izuku, katsuki, shoto, and Denki with a stoner s/o?

Sure!

[Characters are aged up to at least like 19 for logical reasons, but there is no NSFW.]

Midoriya Izuku.

How you met

- He probably found you passed out in an alley.

- First instinct, PANIC.

- Grabs you and just kinda runs home with you.

- So you wake up, and you see all might posters absolutely everywhere.

- It's fair to almost punch him in the face.

- But he's a muscle pig, so it's fine.

- He sits down, asks you what's wrong,

- And that really hits you in the feels.

- It's been a long time since someone cared.

- But you're still skeptical, so you just close your eyes down to slits and say thankyou.

- He flashes you the cinnamon roll smile.

- You wished you had your sunglasses.

- He let you stay over, Inko made her famous katsudon.

In the relationship.

- After seeing the sheer amount of cigarette packs you have, he is terrified.

- Grabs the most he can, and throws em out.

- You were mad at him, but still felt nice someone cared.

- But oh no no, it isn't that easy to get rid of addictions.

- Unlike most of your exes, he doesn't try to convince you to go to a rehabilitation place.

- No, he IS all the rehab you'll need.

- Who doesn't feel warm and fuzzy inside when you wake up to a cuddly broccoli?

- He is in LOVE with your motorcycle.

- Lowkey tries to match your style.

- He still looks kinda cute.

- You appreciate the effort.

- Ngl, half of 1A passed out when they saw you pick him up on a weekend.

- Who knew the cinnamon roll had a badass tattooed stoner gf who had a MOTORCYCLE?

- They're highkey jealous.

- You stay over a lot at his house, at this point half of his posters have been taken over my MCR posters.

- He loves it anyway.

Kaminari Denki

How you met

- I feel like he accidentally did something to your motorcycle.

- He thought that some huge bald guy owned it, and he was dead asf

- But when he saw you smoking a cigarette, wearing your edgy clothes and helmet tucked under your arm,

- Everything went slo-mo for him.

- It was slo-mo until you [harshly] asked what happened to your bike.

- He knew he ****** up.

- He tried to be smooth, miserably failed, and then just asked if he could make it up to you by treating you to some lunch.

- You had half a mind to not agree and demand money, but you were hungry, and you had a mechanic friend who owed you quite a few favors so you could get the bike fixed, so you went with him to a restaurant.

- I personally headcanon that Denki is somewhat of a street kid, so when he takes you to a hole-in-the-wall kinda place with exceptional food in some alley of Musutafu, don't be surprised.

- Just enjoy the food.

- He'll definitely try to ride your motorcycle.

- The moment he lays his hand on your motorcycle, you decide to get insurance for the first time in your life.

- Cue both of you being extremely confused as to how these forms are, and you're not even sure you're filling out the right ones.

- Eventually, you guys figure it out, and he rides your motorcycle.

- Crashes within the first minute or so.

In the relationship.

- Expect your leather jacket to be gone at all times.

- It's literally never there.

- always with him.

- To spite him you take his Pikachu-themed jacket.

- Yeah, it didn't work, he loved you in it.

- You are now stuck with a Pikachu Jacket.

- He probably does have you meet the bakusquad at one point, but it's not a rushed thing.

- You and him on dates = Cheetos for dinner, doing something that's kind of illegal, and waking up in a hotwired car.

- It's perfect, really.

- You both also just get on your motorcycle and drive aimlessly on holidays, live off of motels and junk food, and eventually come back after your time off is over.

- You both never really settle at one place, you're like nomads with a house you only come back to after you all are kinda tired.

- All in all, it's all he imagined.

Todoroki Shoto.

How you met

- Shoto heard of the concept 'rebelling' from mina.

- His naive ass googled it.

- So now, he kinda likes the concept of rebelling, and of the most stereotyped things to do while rebelling, he decides to sneak out of home, go out to a party, and come back home without anyone noticing.

- Hell somebody definitely noticed.

- He tried to climb out of a window and stumbled and fell.

- And you, who are heading out of the said party, see him in leather clothes trying to get out of the house through a window, you decide to...

- Mercilessly laugh at him as you approach him.

- You ask him, "Hey kid, what are you doing?"

- He is offended you thought he was a kid.

- "I am not a kid, Im 19."

- As you focus on his physique it does make sense.

- "Then how the hell do you not know how to sneak out? And you're 19 anyways, why do you need to sneak out?"

- Good job, you just nudged him into an existential crisis.

- He was gonna have one soon, anyways

- Ends with him moving out of the Todoroki house, because hell, he's 19, a decent scoring hero, has money, and did I mention he's 19? - So now Endeavour is confused as shit, because he woke up to his son halfway through a window, IN LEATHER CLOTHES, eyes wide, mouth open staring into nothing while a strange person who he is certain is not a good influence is mercilessly laughing at him and like a week later he moves out to a condo?

- Endeavour is angry and confused as shit now.

- So he naturally just stomps over to Shoto's condo and sees you, the strange person and shoto, sipping on coffee.

- Great, now shoto's drinking coffee. You are definitely a bad influence.

- He says, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY CHILD."

- You reply, "Oh I don't, given him a life?"

- Cue Endeavour screaming his signature, "SHOTOOOOO-"

In the relationship.

- When you both aren't roasting endeavor, you help shoto catch up on the things he missed out on in childhood.

- For instance, you took him to a roller skating rink

- Where he promptly fell down

- Watched frozen with him

- There is now an ice castle in your backyard.

- Took him to a Walmart's

- You were practically swimming in cereal.

- Ok so maybe it isn't going that good-

- But the important thing is he has a lot of fun.

- As for you, he helps you get over your bad habits.

- No cigarettes, chewing tobacco, or literally anything.

- Even energy drinks are banned.

- Besides coffee, coffee is a blessing.

- For dates, you both go to a coffee shop and talk, play board games and then you eventually ditch it to go to a Walmart to pick up clothes.

- Yes, they're dirt cheap where else would you go?

- H&M?? Hell no.

[Sorry I couldn't do Katsuki's, but I may come back later and complete it. Hope you liked it, Anon!]

1306 words,

Skylight Maple

[gumuhit]

when you tryna stop growing feelings for someone but you can’t

Riverdale (2017–)

[nightmarebees]

yknow when you can physically feel yourself getting more annoying but it’s like watching a car crash in slo mo

[cucumbers-and-olives]

a story of two

i needed something to go right

and then you

walked into my life

with a new view

and i just knew

that it would be you and i

till the end of time

but love does not last

and it fades into the past

i hesitate before taking out the trash

stuck in a slo-mo car crash

i don’t wish to say good bye

because i might cry

a freshman year would be lonely without you

so here i lay in a bed for two

not knowing what to do