#a silly little graphic for a silly little fanfic

[imaginejolls]

read it on ao3

[misqnon]

Parallel

Through the power of a strange new devil fruit encounter, Sanji gets turned into an anchor between universes. Zoro doesn't really get to help his crew deals with this, though, because the instant he makes contact with the cook, he's teleported right next to the man again. 

Only this time Sanji's wearing different clothes, and looking at him weird. And they aren't on the Sunny anymore. They're in some weird, gray kitchen, and Sanji's holding a weird looking piece of technology, and also looking at him like he doesn't know who the hell he is.

"Who the hell are you?" Sanji says, and it's his voice, but with an accent he doesn't recognize, and Zoro realizes something is very, very wrong.

-----

modern au sanji / canonverse zoro. because i'm insane

only posting the first short chapter here, but the rest will be on ao3 as it goes on

By the time Zoro wakes up, the invading pirate crew is already halfway unloaded onto the Sunny’s deck.

His stomach drops.

Did he fucking fall asleep on watch? 

“OI!” He shouts, voice less of a yell and more of a deep-throated growl, alerting both his own crew and the invaders. A large man in an oversized coat looks up at him with a scowl, curly black hair obscuring his face. But then he smiles. The captain, Zoro presumes.

As he does so, Sanji and Robin appear on deck, followed shortly after by Nami, Usopp, and Chopper. They all get into fighting stances within seconds, meeting head to head with crew-members already on the Sunny’s lawn, dyed dark blue in the nighttime’s dark haze.

Zoro’s still staring at the captain from the crow’s nest, the other practically daring him to come down and fight. Wasting no time, Zoro unsheathes his swords, jumping from one of the crow’s nest windows, swords gleaming the whole way down. He slams into the deck with enough force to rock the boat, causing a loud splash on its starboard side. Luffy and Franky emerge seconds later, quick to join the battle with eager grins. 

Zoro feels a bit bad for taking the captain. He usually leaves that honor for Luffy. But the guy’s pissed him off, and he feels responsible for dozing off during watch. 

Seriously, what the fuck? Zoro may love to sleep, but he takes watch seriously. He’d never endanger his crew for something as fleeting as a little shut-eye. Mistakes happen, but not to him. Not Roronoa Zoro, master of willpower and control.

He takes all that anger and shame and uses it to beat the shit out of the captain now defiling the Sunny’s deck with his presence.

But the other man is fast. And now he’s finally talking.

He jumps up to the top level of the ship, narrowly avoiding the fight behind him, where Sanji is throwing kicks at a man that looks strikingly similar to-

Wait, what? …Twins?

The man follows Zoro’s stare and gives a hearty laugh. “Whatever you’re thinking, it ain’t right.” He explains. He snaps his fingers, and Sanji suddenly stops behind him, looking uneasy.

“What the hell?” The blonde whispers to himself, looking down at his hands. He feels…wrong. Overwhelmed. Nauseous. The man the cook is fighting has stopped to, looking at him with the same grin as the man Zoro’s focused on.

“I’m Captain Morales of the Parallel Pirates.” The Captain declares.

“And so am I.” Says the man in front of Sanji, now turning to look at Zoro. He steps forward to stand beside Captain Morales (the first one, anyways) and Zoro is shaken, because even identical twins aren’t that…perfect.

It’s obvious this is some kind of devil fruit power, but Zoro isn’t in the mood for learning tonight. He just wants them dead or off his ship.

“Huh?” Usopp pipes up from somewhere to the left of him. Luffy and a few others take notice too. 

“Hey, Zoro, why’s there two of that guy!?” Luffy exclaims, slapping away some insignificant crew member.

…Now that he thinks about it, something is off about this guy’s crew, too. He glances around again, at all the faces scattered among the deck and the ship beside them, and he realizes none of them go together at all. Most pirate crews have some sort of theme, yes, but he doesn’t mean it in the way that they don’t share a similar motif. No, they look like they’ve all come from completely different worlds. 

One man wears old leather greaves, another wears a three-piece suit. One looks straight from Thriller Bark, another is dressed in nothing but silver chrome. One woman boasts a wide array of guns, while another looks slightly more Neanderthal than is excusable by old genetics. It’s a big world out there between all four seas and the Grand Line, he knows that, but this feels like…something even more than that. They feel out of place in a way he can’t place.

“Confused, aren’t you?” Says the man Sanji was fighting. The cook tries to kick him again despite the nausea, but Captain Morales the Second catches him by the leg and throws him down next to Zoro. Zoro doesn’t blink an eye.

“This is the power of the Verse-Verse Fruit.” Says the first Captain Morales.

“I don’t care what the hell your power is. Get lost, or you’ll be split into more pieces than two.” Zoro growls.

The Captains laugh. “Split?”

“No, no.”

“We’re both entirely intact. And no, we aren’t twins.”

“And I’m not a copy, either.”

“He’s me. From another world.”

“I mean, who better to have as a First Mate than another you?”

“Never have to worry about stupid decisions or insubordination. You can always trust yourself.”

“He always makes the same choices I would have made had I been there. It’s awfully convenient.”

Zoro loses track of who’s saying what at some point, but he doesn’t care. “Listen, I already told you, I don’t care about your stupid crew or your stupid powers.”

��Whaaaaat!? I do!” Luffy exclaims, apparently entranced by this guy’s…These guys’? Speech.

“Other worlds!? Like what? How?” The captain continues.

Zoro holds himself back only out of his own loyalty to Luffy. He knows the idiot wants answers, and he can’t go attacking their opponent while the two…three, are talking. 

The Morales’ laugh. “Well, you see, I have the ability to traverse other worlds. It’s how I found half my crew, if you hadn’t noticed.” Says the first captain.

“But he can also turn others into anchor points between worlds, allowing anyone who touches that anchor to travel to another world where that anchor exists.” Says the second captain.

Luffy looks completely lost, as do a few other Strawhats who are listening. 

Usopp pops his fist onto his other hand. “Oh, I think I get it! So say if Zoro existed in another universe, I could touch Zoro and travel to the other world he exists in?”

One of the Captains nods. “Exactly.”

Nami crosses her arms. “And how do they get back?” She looks concerned, scenarios swimming in her head already. 

“Well, if I’m available, of course I simply turn him into an anchor again. He touches the other world Zoro, and he returns here. If I want it that way.”

Nami doesn’t move. “And if you aren’t here?”

They both shrug. “Too bad, so sad.” They say in unison.

Nami grits her teeth. “Hey! Nobody touch anybody! Not even the crew! There’s no telling who he’s already turned into an anchor.”

They both laugh again. “Good work, girl! You’re exactly correct. One of your own is already an anchor, ready to take anyone who touches them to somewhere far, far away from here. And I won’t bring them back no matter how much you beg.”

Zoro grits his teeth. 

That’s it. He isn’t waiting any longer. He can take this guy out without touching him easy-peasy. It’s just his swords that need to make contact, after all. He puts Wado in his mouth and darts forward, demonic eyes set on the dual Captain and his First Mate, when someone stumbles to their feet behind him.

He doesn’t take stock of this, of course, he’s far too focused in the fight- but the Captain notices. He snaps his finger and someone appears in front of him like a wormhole, kicking him harshly back where he came from.

He collides with the cook behind him, Wado knocked from his mouth as the wind is knocked out of him, and before he can even realize what’s happened, he’s standing in a small, gray kitchen, with strange futuristic design completely unfamiliar to him. And before him stands the cook, only now Sanji's wearing different clothes, and looking at him weird. He holds a small flat screen, a piece of technology Zoro doesn’t recognize. The cook turns to him.

"Who the hell are you?" Sanji says, and it's his voice, but with an accent he doesn't recognize, and Zoro realizes something is very, very wrong.

[simply-a-void]

Walking back into the ao3 tag for a thing you haven't intracted with for a couple of years is interesting. you begin to glean the collective headcanons decided after you stopped checking in, like why the fuck is Joe a graphic designer??? I dont know and don't get me wrong im fine with it im just deeply confused and feel like ive missed a whole chapter

[edgeray]

*vibrates*

So many wips… 👀

Ok so. IDK. I have. So many “want to sees”. So I’m just gonna list them 🤷‍♀️

Ghost Clervie AU. I’m imagining Clervie watching as Peruere- sorry, *Arlecchino* develops her “cold, strict, and unfeeling Father persona”. But she quickly reverts back to Peruere in the presence of Clervie when Arle figures out she isn’t hallucinating and this isn’t some scheme of someone trying to throw her off balance.

(I’m actually just realizing the parallels of Furina making her Archon persona and Peruere with her Father persona 🤔 Both masks are there in order to better protect the people that rely on them (Fontaine’s citizens and the Hearths Children respectively)). Anyways.

Isekai-ed Arlecchino. I’m just wondering at how that would work and how serious you would make the writing take itself. Like would it be crack, crack that takes itself serious, or serious? (You don’t need to answer that. I was just pondering)

Modern Cat or Bunny Shifter Arle. Arle in her animal form has a nearly 100% coat with the exception of one ear that’s black. It’s cute. Also, I see her as a bunny with floppy ears that are so long that she trips over them XD I’m giggling at the thought she might even be one of those massive bunny breeds too. This makes me wonder if the House exists and whether or not the rest are also shapeshifters. Like a haven for shapeshifters, if you will.

Pirate Arle. You know (you don’t, but I’m telling you 😅) I’m a sucker for enemies(who actually aren’t all that bad) taking in and caring for an abandoned enemy.

Historical Goddess Arle. I think the fact that Reader prays for a painless death rather than no death at all could be intriguing to Arle who probably regularly gets prayers from people not wanting to die?

Spiderwoman Arle. It’s not a want, it’s a need. I’m also a sucker for secret identity relationships. 

Arlecchino w/ Cursed Bio Child.

Alien Arle and Human Reader. Arle and Clervie internally seething at getting another runaway test subject (not at the human, at the fact they were experimented on). That(the facility) would need to be taken care of… (badass ArlexClervie couple who are leaders of an organization who take down illegal trafficking rings, experiment facilities, etc? 👀) Once the newcomer gets adjusted to their new home, of course.

Arlecchino x Alive/Knave Clervie.

Sorry if any of that/the extra commentary seems like I’m trying to press for any of this. Yeah, these are requests. If that’s ok 🙂

👉👈 Hopefully it isn’t overwhelming.

The Other End of the Blade

(Arlecchino x GN! Reader)

A/N - Hi anon, sorry for being late with this anon! I really love your commentary on all of your (mine?) ideas so don’t worry about it! I’ll put more of a response at the end of this.  This one is going to be pirate AU because I too crave some enemies to lovers right now. One piece is the only basis I have for pirates so apologies if it's not alike to other pirate media.    Those of you wondering where this list of ideas come from, it’s from my ideas/wip post, where I store all of the silly little ideas for fanfics. Feel free to request from anything on that list.

Content warnings / info - enemies to lovers, semi-graphic violence, heavily one piece inspired, got WAY too invested into this whoops, 4.0k words

Before you could read books, you could read wanted posters. Before you could spell out your name, you could write down ‘pirate’ and ‘wanted dead or alive.’ Before you could write, you throw a mean punch. Before you knew how to play, you knew how to fight. And before you knew how to count your fingers, you could tie knots. Before you knew what a Marine was, you already were one. And before you knew what ‘love’ means, you knew what hate was and who to hate: pirates. Hatred towards them coursed alongside your blood through your veins. 

Pirates are the scum of the seas, raiders from the depths of the oceans that have come to pillage towns and wreak havoc over the prospering empires. They’re sick people who only know how to steal and how to kill. They rob lives without an ounce of hesitance, ignorant to the misery and suffering they force upon people because of their actions. The world would be better off without them. That way, all people can live in peace without worry from murderers and pillagers like them. Pirates are everything you should hate and you swear that you're going to make it so not one person has to be afraid of their shores–they'll never have to look at the horizon wondering if they see pirate ships in the distance cruising towards them. 

If there is one thing that your family has instilled into you, it would be that a world free of suffering is a world free of pirates. Like every other family member before you, you've been set on the path of greatness that is to eradicate every one of those vermin since birth. The only aspiration you could have is rising the ranks of the Marines. Generations of your family served in the Marine, holding the highest positions. Being anything short of one of the admiral positions, (the lowest of which ranking fourth highest in authority) is a disgrace, a stain on your one of the most prominent Marine families. 

Rising towards the ranks was no difficulty for you. It's only about two years since you've joined the Marines, and you've already risen to a commander position. For reference, even the best of soldiers take four to five years to be promoted to that level. And you know you're about to be promoted–you just need one big case. Just capture one famous pirate, and you know that the Captain rank is yours. One more step closer to cementing your place among the greats of your family. 

– 

Water pelts across your face and the strong sea breeze whips around you. Over your own thumping heart, you can hear the roaring of raging waves paired with the wild flapping of the sails and the creaking of wood. Thudding footsteps rushes all around you, and the clouded sky flashes, thundering. 

“Lower the sails!” You scream at the men as they wrestle with the ropes. Seeing one of the men fumble, you grumble under your breath and shove him away to take over. 

“Get a bucket, and keep getting rid of the water. We need as little water to get into the hull as possible,” you command him, and that's enough to make him useful. 

“Pirate ship spotted!” One of the crew members states and you groan in frustration. A pirate ship at this time? You're only just barely ensuring the vessel does not capsize! Not only is the Marine ship struggling, but no doubt the pirate ship would be too. You release the ropes, seeking out the captain. 

“Captain!” You yell as you head towards him. The cranky man shoots you a snooty glare before turning to a Marine soldier besides him. 

“Hurry up! What flag is it?! Huh? Huh?! Give me a damn answer before I throw you overboard!” Your captain gruffly exclaims at the poor Marine who was holding a spyglass, pointing it towards the oncoming ship. You cringe at the Captain's voice, silently giving sentiments to the other Marine. 

“It's a… um… it.. um…” The Marine stutters, unsure of what to make of the flag. You grind your teeth before wrenching it out of his hands and examining the flag yourself with squinted eyes. In between  heavy rain and dark surroundings, you can just barely recognize the flag: a hand grasping a candle. 

Damn it! At this time?! 

“It's the Hearth pirates!” You announce, tossing the scope to your Captain to see. 

“The Hearth? You mean one of the Harbinger crews?!” The old man grunts before seeing for himself. His facial features morph into one of disbelief before hardening. 

“I want every cannon manned now! Get your weapons ready and drawn! All hands on deck!” The Captain demands. The confusion and disbelief was practically palpable among the Marines, and felt through their second of hesitation before the soldiers’ replied with a ‘yes Captain.’

Is he crazy? What the hell is wrong with him? As much as you would love to capture the notorious Hearth pirates, you knew now was nothing but an imprudent time. Even if the Hearth was among the less deadly of the Harbinger crews, that did not make them any less powerful. You have heard from other Marines’ hushed whispers that it takes at least a large fleet (5 Marine ships) to take down one entire Harbinger ship, and even that was theoretical. The Fatui pirates as a whole are damn near unstoppable, but the Harbingers themselves are monsters ripped from hell. As much as you hate to admit, you’re not strong enough to defeat a Harbinger, and you have similar doubts for your Captain. Where does he get this pomposity from?

The other men are struggling enough to keep this piece of wood afloat, and now they have to worry about battling pirates? You doubt even the Hearth is eager for a fight. Fighting in this storm would only lead to early graves for both sides. Winning against and capturing the Hearth pirates is unfavorable, but surviving past this storm is indisputable. 

“Wait, Captain!” You call out to him. An annoyed click of his tongue comes from him, as if you were the bother, and it only makes you clench your hands into fists. He turns his back towards you, irritation written all over his expression. 

“What are you standing around for? Get ready already!” He demands with a scrunched face. 

“We can't engage in battle with them yet! We don’t have enough men, and we're already struggling with the storm!” You protest. “We're in no condition to try and fight them!”

Silence. Around you, you hear whispers from the other crewmates, sounds of agreement coming from them. Evidently, this increases the captain's indignation. 

“Quiet!” He screams. “If we're struggling, just think about how they could be faring! They don't have nearly enough resources as us marines do to survive! This is our chance to capture one of the Harbinger crews!

“After all,” he pauses to give you a pointed, haughty look. “We have one of the members of the greatest family? We won't lose with you on our side, right? We're in your hands.”

You bristle, your nails digging into your palm as your lips twitch into a deeper frown. To think he would use your family name against you. What is he even trying to do? You're too stunned to respond and he brushes past you. 

You're absolutely powerless to do anything, and so are the other soldiers on this ship. No one here outranks the Captain. No matter how correct you may be, you would be punished for disobeying a superior's order. If only you could have been promoted earlier, then you wouldn't have to listen to this fool. Had it been you, you would have this ship steered towards the closest Marine base and report what direction the Hearth pirates are going. But you can't do that. You nod pathetically, and the rest of the men disperse. 

You can only watch as the smaller ship approaches closer and closer. As soon as Hearth pirates enter within the firing range, chaos ensues with your Captain's bellowed “FIRE!” 

A cacophony of screams and cannon fire sound through the air, deafening you, and the overpowering smell of gunpowder and brine swarm your nostrils. Like all naval battles, it’s always a blur–just a flash of colors and movements. At some point, the pirate ship approached close enough for them to board onto the Marine ship. You are not aware of this until you find yourself face to face with one of the Hearth pirates. By then, all rationale has been thrown out in favor of instinct–the most precise, miniscule reaction is what keeps you alive the most when it comes to battling pirates. Your surroundings fade from your awareness, your only attention on the figure before you.

She’s a young pirate, that you can tell, but her skills are no less admirable. She has an ever passive, unreadable face that makes predicting her movements hard to discern and even harder to catch off guard. You narrowly dodge another slash of her saber, and your cutlass swishes through the air, only shallowly cutting her sleeve. Despite this, she is far from deterred, and you have to parry another swing. The steel of the blades screeches as your blades clash against each other. Now at a temporary standstill, the both of you exchange eye contact for a brief moment. Lilac eyes, brimming with determination, skirts away from yours. She pulls away only to lunge again, a thrust of her blade heading towards you abdomen but you dodge, side-stepping it. The blade skims just past you, embedding into the wood of one of the masts. Realizing the given opportunity, you give a swift kick to the pirate’s stomach, disconnecting her hand from the handle of her sword. She tumbles onto the ground with a grunt, and you use no time to close the distance. 

Just as you are about to deliver another blow, a loud gunshot sounds through, making you flinch. A sharp pain erupts from your left shoulder and you stumble back from the young pirate. You cock your head, peering behind you. This action allows you to narrowly miss two oncoming daggers, though your cheek and neck get nicked. Spinning on your heel, you face the dagger wielding pirate fully. He’s a young boy, with a top hat and matching eyes of the saber user. Siblings, perhaps? The fierceness in his eyes confirms your suspicions. 

You charge at the boy, but before reaching him, a large wave crashes into the boat, water spilling overboard and throwing you off balance. The sudden impact makes you lose your balance, and you’re hurtled towards the railings of the ship, your back slamming into it. An audible crack emits from the collision and your spine screams out in agony. Lifting yourself into a crawling position, you glance up at the havoc over the deck. 

A bit close to you is your captain, fighting against a white-haired woman. Given the striking polearm she wields, that must be the Knave, one of the eleven Harbingers of the Fatui pirates. Her movements are graceful, every thrust and slash calculated and precise. In contrast, your captain’s movements are botched, desperate. Every output of effort from him is just for another instance of him scraping by with his life. Each parry with his saber leaves his arms trembling. He is a bumbling mess compared to the Knave. Easily, you can tell it’s a losing battle for your captain. He’s outclassed. 

You’re about to rise when a flicker of bright light catches your gaze. Your eyes widen as you turn your head to spot a bright orange mass covering a part of the deck, and it only grows the longer you gaze at it. The flames stalk towards you with a terrifying space. Despite your body’s protest, you beckon your body to stand. When you have both feet on the wooden planks, you head towards your captain to assist him in his battle. Abruptly, the Marine ship shakes, another current assaulting its side. Swept off your feet, your body is flung, your lower abdomen hitting the top of the railings while you roll off of the ship. It’s only by sheer luck that your hand catches the base of the railing, holding onto it with all the strength you could muster in your left arm. The rest of your body hangs over the ever-swallowing sea. 

Your grasp is slipping because of the rain. You grunt as you try to lift yourself with just one arm. Opening your mouth, you clench your teeth onto the spine of your cutlass, freeing up your right arm to grip onto the base of another fence. With much effort, you’re able to heave your head up so that your eyesight is just over the floor. You can spot the familiar boots of the captain. Every muscle in your arm is straining, burning painfully. Holding on for much longer is impossible.

The cutlass has to go. You let the weapon fall from your mouth, and it plunges into the waters below. 

“Captain! Captain!” The guttural outcry comes from your lips. There’s the groaning of wood breaking. A large shadow looms over you, and you lift your gaze. The mast above tilts down, forewarning its collapse on top of you. 

“CAPTAIN!” You scream out, no longer having the strength to lift your head above the deck. You dangle helplessly, your grip slacking with each second. 

You hear thumping footsteps towards you, and you have never been more grateful to see the unsightliness of your captain’s face peering over the railings. 

For a moment, he does nothing, viewing your vulnerable state. His lips twitch, a small smile stretches over his face. He turns away briefly, glancing in both the right and left direction, before focusing on you again. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure that they know you fought honorably,” he says, venom in his voice. “So go ahead and let go.”

Your blood freezes, and his face disappears. Your arms can no longer continue and you let up. 

You fall, plunging into the icy cold waters. The iciness does not just seep into your blood, but your muscles and tendons too, making your body heavy. Air is stolen away from you and you flail and kick to the surface for air. Everything hurts. As you sputter for oxygen, coughing out the saltwater, your vision catches the glimpse of a long brown mass toppling down onto you. It’s the last thing you see when something hits the back of your head, and everything fades into an inky abyss. 

—

Everything hurts. It's the first thing that comes to you when you are able to grasp even a bit of consciousness. You feel it in your limbs, your back, your abdomen, essentially anything above your waist has a stabbing sensation in it. A groan, followed by a deep suction of air, emerges from you, and you lift your head up. Your eyes flutter open, bright light stabbing into your eyes. You let out a pained groan, rolling your neck to ease its discomfort but find it unhelpful. 

Your eyes adjust to the orange glow of your surroundings. You blink several times to relieve the blurriness in your vision, able to see more clearly. Given the rocking motion and the familiar sound of waves crashing, you would reckon you're on a ship. Looking down at yourself, you're seated on a chair. You attempt to sit up, only to find yourself unable to. Rope digs into the skin of your bound wrists, and you let out a string of expletives in a single defeated sigh. 

“Did you learn that tongue from the Marines?” A cutthroat voice resounds through the room. 

You dip your head, turning towards the figure. A tall woman leans against the wall in the corner, a good bit of distance away. White and black strands, charcoal hands, crimson crossed-pupils, and the epitome of beauty and refinement that marks the appearance of the Knave. Strange to find that among pirates, of all brutish people. Your hazy mind clears in an instant, and you sit up straighter. The pirate captain's presence brings about your most recent memories onto the forefront of your mind in short bursts. With a forceful swallow, you recognize that you have been captured by the Hearth pirates. If you're alive rather than dead, that means they have some use for you. Whatever it is, you need to escape from this. You can only do that when you fish for enough information. 

Taking in your surroundings, you'd have to guess you're in some storage room. Stacked barrels make up the majority of the room. Perhaps if you're able to access the contents of the barrels, you can use them to escape. If not, you could easily ruin their supplies, including food and water. 

“I just thought communicating would be easier in your language,” you snark back, observing the Harbinger's reaction. Expectedly, she remains inexpressive, revealing nothing. She leans away from the wall, stalking towards you. Heels click against the floorboards. Only pirates would have the audacity to be wearing such compromising shoes out on the sea. 

She stands before you, unmoving, her piercing gaze smiliarly fixated on your form. When nothing comes from her lips, you make conversation first.

“Admiring me?” 

This earns a humorless chuckle. “There's nothing to admire.” 

Ow. 

A frown comes across your face. Acting coy does not work on pirates like the Knave. The Knave seems like someone who only responds to directness. No use in stalling. 

“What happened to my crew?”

“They were alive when we left them.” 

“And are they still alive?”

“Presumably.” 

You grit your teeth, lunging at her in anger. Your bounds don't allow for much movement, and it only makes your chair screech across the floor boards towards the pirate. “You left them in the middle of the storm with a ruined ship! You killed them!” 

“You were the fools that decided to attack us.”

“You would have attacked us first! You scum aren't above anything! How can I even trust your word? How do I not know you're not lying to my face?! How do I know you haven't slaughtered them all?!” You scream, thrashing against the ropes wildly.  

“I doubt any persuasion could relieve your distrust. I see that any sort of conversation with you will be futile,” the pirate remarks. She spins on her heel, heading towards the door. You're almost tempted to let her if it means the chance of never seeing her face again, until another thought crosses your mind. 

Why did she want some sort of conversation with you?

“Wait.”

The Knave stops in her tracks. “Are you choosing to be civil for once?” 

You scrunch your nose. “Never mind. I can't bear seeing your face again.” 

An audible huff comes from the pirate before she does face back towards. 

“Why did you… why did you keep me alive? Why did you spare me? Why did you…” You pause, recalling back to your last memories. You were knocked unconscious by falling debris, that you were sure of. You should have drowned by all accounts. You doubt your crewmates have saved you–you hate to admit it, but you would have sunk to the seabed before one of them had noticed. Your crewmates would have been too focused on the pirates to have. If it wasn't any one from your party, then that only leaves the opposing party. However, there is no logical reason for them to. You'd sooner accept divine intervention rather than pirates having rescued you. 

The voice in your head, the voice that has been fostered since your childhood, tells you that it is neither of those two, just a sick sense of karma. Pirates aren't capable of any good doing. If they've kept you alive, it's because they intend to hurt you even more. They're inhuman monsters who only know how to steal and steal, until nothing of you is left. Wretched people that shouldn't even have the luxury of being labeled as ‘humans.’ 

“Why am I here?” You finally settle on those words. 

Silence stretches for a single moment before she begins. “You encountered two of my children, yes?” 

You raise your eyebrows at the mention of ‘children.’ You're aware that some captains likened themselves to a parental figure of their crew–it seems like the Knave is one of those cases. You think back to the young ash blond pirates you briefly fought. 

“The swordswoman and the dagger thrower,” you reply.

“Correct. I found Lyney as a child, when I was wandering the alleys of a shoretown. He bumped into me because he was in a hurry to save his sister from being sold to a high ranking Marine.”

Shock envelopes your face as you process those words. A Marine? Someone whose duty is to protect citizens? A high ranking Marine? Someone whose performance and power is praiseworthy and yet they would do something like that? The thought sickens you. That kind of behavior… that can only pertain to a pirate right? It is not possible for a Marine to act that way. Other Marine officials would have never allowed it. She must be feeding falsehoods to trick you, to get you to betray your family and duty. There's no way this would happen. 

Despite your inner turmoil, Arlecchino continues. “When I took them in, fed them and gave them somewhere to sleep, it took several months for Lyney to sleep in his own quarters. He couldn't be torn away from his sister's quarters. Any chore assigned to him, Lynette had to be beside him. You would have to possess a superhuman strength to separate him from her.”

You could imagine why. Your stomach churns uncomfortably, hating the fact that with every word, her story seems more and more plausible. Why were you even considering this fabricated story? Why were you being swayed by a pirate's tongue?

“Why are you telling me this? You didn't take me to tell your kids’ sob story,” you remark. 

“Every single person on this ship has been dealt an unfortunate hand by the Marines. My children,” she speaks with a hint of indignation, her voice chillingly sincere, “have suffered and wept because of a Marine. Not one of them has ever had a good history with a Marine.” 

She gives you a pointed look, one that makes your blood boil. You hate it, you want to gauge her eyes out because you can see the glint of sympathy in them. “I see now that it's not just people having been harmed by the Marines. But their own people too.” 

“I am not some pitiful stray you found on the street!” You scream, having heard enough of this. “I have not been wronged by-” 

“Your captain abandoned you.” That is all it takes to silence you, and your outburst dies the instant it comes. Any protests on your lips is pummeled away by the heaviness in your chest that forms whenever you think back to that moment. Arms aching, helpless and dangling, and the man you relied upon to lead you and guide you, turns away. He left you, simple as that, to die. Why? You couldn't even fathom a reason. How could a captain do that? After all your service, after all you've done for him, he leaves you.

“You would have died because of a self-serving captain.” 

And you still have the audacity to try and defend him. The Marines are all you know. He was just one man. That did not mean all the Marines were like that. “He was just one man.”

“One man is all it takes. One man is one too many. And if that were true, no one else would be on my ship. I do not believe that all Marines are as revolting as him. Quite the opposite. But there is enough and that's the problem. 

“You may find it hard to believe, but we want to welcome you. If you choose to so stubbornly reject our hospitality and company, we will drop you off at the nearest island so you may return to your duty. But here, we at least know of loyalty and family, I assure you that.” 

The Knave approaches you. You hear the unsheathing of a blade and you feel your wrists relieved from their bounds. You gape at her. 

“Welcome to the House of the Hearth.” 

More A/N: I know this was really long, and not at all romantic, but I got way too invested into the plot of it all to actually focus on the romance. Please someone request a part two because I haven't enjoyed writing a piece this much in a while (i know my inbox is closed for requests but I will make this an exception. This was such a fun piece that really had me invested the entire time while writing. I would love to see Arlecchino's and Reader's relationship develop more. I hope you guys enjoyed this because it's now the longest request I've ever written.

I'm not done yapping, unfortunately. To address anon's commentary. First of all, never be sorry for the commentary. I love yapping, as you may be able to tell. I love hearing your guys' ideas and I think they're all so cool!! (I'm also lonely :v pls talk to me anons).

I love, love, love Arlecchino's character, and I so wish to see it more explored in x Reader fics (I have something like this in the works ehehe) and I totally see the comparison between Furina and Clervie (even though I don't ship Arlefuri).

I've already written Goddess! Arlecchino x Reader! I've linked it in case you haven't seen it before. I'm also working on an Alien! Arlecchino x Human! Reader, so not quite like the Alien AU! Arlevie, but I thought it's something you might be interested. I think that Bunny! Arle would be more like her plush in the Arlecchino animation, but seeing her with floppy ears is such a cute image. With the Isekai AU, I guess it really depends on my mood. (I've also put a different concept for an Arlecchino Isekai-ed AU in the same post), but likely the one mentioned in your asks will have more crack.

I really want to think you for your conideration of my ideas!! It means a lot to me that people actually see them and like can envision it and feel the raw potential for that story like I do. I know it took super long for me to get to this request and it might not even be how you wanted but I hope you like it. <333

Note to future requests: if you guys give me a list of ideas you want me to do (bc you're as indecisive as I am), I can pick one to write :33)

[scaredycatqlt]

HII idk if your requests are still open but PLEASE can you do bojack/ mr peanutbutter dating head canons or any of your choice, the fandom needs more fanfics 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

awwWWW YEAH BABYYY. You already KNOW it’s gonna be toxic.

WARNING: Potentially triggering content. Nothing graphic, but talk of toxic/unhealthy relationships, questionable shit, BoJack being BoJack. SUPER MEGA FUCKING ANGST WARNING!!!

BoJack X Reader! Headcanons [ROMANTIC💔]

woah boy.

where do I even start with this guy?

okay, so, first things first; bad idea. What the absolute fuck were you thinking.

You probably have a fix-it mentality don’t you?

You’re probably the first person to talk to him. He either doesn’t care about you at first, or absolutely despises you.

chances are you are/were a fan of the show. (Eughhh,,,,)

If you weren’t he’s like ‘>:0’

It’s not really explicitly labeled as a romantic relationship. You guys probably hooked up before you even knew each other.

So being in this (more so situation-ship than anything) is toxic, to say the least.

He’s got a whole bunch of problems and he doesn’t want to ruin you to. But he ends up doing just that anyways.

He guilt trips you. I don’t even need to say that.

He rants to you about silly things that don’t even matter. It’s kind of endearing (if he weren’t a total piece of shit.)

He’s actually really good at making conversation. You two always have something to talk about.

He can’t believe someone as ‘not-him’ as you would ever waste your time with him. He explicitly tells you this at one point.

The red flags are BLARING GIRL.

In your defense, you really didn’t know how awful he was. You just thought he was a deeply flawed man. And he is, but he’s also just an ass.

*a horse

The relationship doesn’t last. It never does with him. Either you decide to cut it off because it’s too toxic, or he cuts it off. Probably in some drunken stupor.

typical BoJack.

Mr. Peanut butter X Reader! [ROMANTIC]

I’d like to start off by saying it would be much less toxic than a relationship with BoJack.

But still problematic…

Mr. Peanut butter and you knew eachother before you were dating, probably friends for a little while.

You two end up dating and the beginning of the relationship is idealistic and perfect!

But problems quickly arise.

like for example, Mr. Peanut butter is kind and friendly but he isn’t exactly considerate or caring. He may care about you, but he ignores your needs sometimes. More often by accident.

For example, if you don’t like people-you’re still not getting left out of parties. Mr PB is more sympathetic and much less empathetic.

His love language is gift giving and words of affirmation. I think this is made very clear throughout the show.

PREPARE TO BE FUCKING SPOILED WITH GIFTS!!!

Whether you like it or not….

He’s very open with people about your two’s relationship and how he feels about you. He’s quick to praise you.

aside from some of the inconsiderate mess he is literally a golden retriever boyfriend <3

he is VERY quick to ask you to marry him. But I feel like if you told him you���d think about it or ‘no’ he’d understand. It’s a big decision HE might be ready for, but you’re not.

Scratch his ears.

I feel like you’d date him at a point in time where Diane isn’t a problem anymore. He learned after the first time…,,,

Sometimes he puts his needs infront of yours-without realizing it.

If you want to have a serious conversation-you’re going to have to initiate it. He HATES those, and prefers to pretend like it never happened.

I feel like there’s honestly a chance of a long term relationship with him! Or you two break up like, maybe a year or so into the relationship.

sorry I haven’t responded to requests in, like, over a month. I’ve been kinda busyyyyfhhjjjgjg 😭

[butchbarneygumble]

Imagine how I must feel as one of the only fans of Mighty Magiswords. You know. A headcanons-and-fanfic kind of fan. I even cosplayed Prohyas once.

Of course, it's nothing compared to what the actual victims went through... I'm fine. But it still felt like a part of my identity has been permanently soured. I don't want to seem like I somehow have it worse, that's not my intention. Nothing bad happened to me personally. I'm only posting my own side of how I deal with the situation, to get some closure myself and show solidarity with the victims.

I don't admire him anymore, and that's putting it lightly.

Full story under cut. Content warning for non-graphic discussion of csa.

The news came to me from my ex-but-still-friend. He told me privately, out of nowhere, just dropped it on me. Like, "Hey, sorry to tell you, but the guy you like got arrested for csa". However, I am glad he told me rather than me having to find out on my own.

The news hit me, and I felt nothing in my body. I usually would get this painful fight-or-flight all through my body whenever I read something that upset me, something I've been training myself to get better with. But right now? I just felt like... "huh. That happened." It helped a lot that Magiswords wasn't my fixation of the moment. And like... it's been like I've been slipping away from it. Like I didn't need it anymore.

More and more people were talking about him, and it wasn't positive. Who? Kyle.

I talked to him. Personally, like many people did. He never acted weird to me. I admired him. I loved his art, sent him physical fanart, all that stuff. I knew more than one person said he was not trustworthy but hey, he made a show that saved my life, so it was a constant struggle between feeling like I had to pick sides. I was going through hell by virtue of my dad being terminally sick and needing constant care, so I was gonna ignore the red flags and enjoy my silly sword show that brought me such joy.

Even if as time went on it started get harder and harder.

But you know what a certain depressed horse show said? When you're wearing rose coloured glasses, red flags just look like flags.

I now think dodged a bullet.

What emotions do I feel? Betrayal. Anger. Disgust. Disappointment.

The irony about it all. The sheer painful irony of blacklisting somebody for *drawings*, and then going behind everybody's back to actually hoard *actual* csa, and revenge porn, and all sorts of nasty stuff. For the record: there is nothing wrong with being put off or disgusted by specific sorts of drawings. But the irony here is what's most painful to me. I do not like people using this as a "gotcha" for either side of this tired argument. It's disrespectful to the actual victims.

People say I can easily seperate art from the artist if I want to but... right now I don't think I want to. He's in every pore of its identity. I do not want to talk or think about Magiswords right now, and I don't know if I ever will again.

It meant so much to me. Prohyas felt like Me. Being a goofy capable adult who doesn't stop collecting things he likes just cuz he's an adult. I thought I was trans for a while and the euphoria of relating to Prohyas helped that. Then he got lowkey confirmed nonbinary and I was over the moon.

It was good. Emphasis on "was".

And to the man himself I have one thing to say: you're another one in a long history of cartoon artists who end up being unsavoury, slimy people, taking advantage of young people, especially girls, in the animation industry. Not something to be proud of. I know we talked and you seemed perfectly okay to me, personally. All I can think is thank god it never went beyond casual chats.

I guess I can finally say I never liked the joke about Vambre not liking pants. Sure, sensory issues exist, but I doubt that was the intention of the design. I have deleted my sideblog where I chronicled ooc screencaps of the show and deleted my little spotify playlist of songs that reminded me of the show. I don't want to finish my longfic where Prohyas and Flonk fell in love anymore. I can't even change it into ocs because it's just so ingrained in the show's lore. So yeah, there's that.

I'll be fine. When the news hit I took it surprisingly well. I was going to an Alestorm concert and it was the most fun I had in ages. So yeah, I've got Christopher Bowes and His Plate of Beans to fill the void of comedy music. Was fixating on Simpsons already so there's that in terms of cartoons. I'm fine.

All I can say is my heart goes out to all the victims, and I'm deeply sorry I didn't see you sooner. I hope you can heal and have some semblance of closure now that he's gotten arrested. My heart goes out to all of you and again, I am so so sorry. I wish you all the love and healing.

[hvcrver]

Heyy😭 Idk if this is dumb but idk if you do fanfics! If you do can you do Yandere shaiapouf x reader headcanons! I am a fem but the reader can ofc be gender neutral:3

I DO HELLOOO !! Yandere Shaiapouf is a very silly concept to be because just... ??? Is it just me or is he really barely toeing the line. For the other ants it seemed moreso "devotion" but just. Pouf. POUF... sighhs.

assume pre-established relationship btw this man has to go through all six stages of grief before he accepts he loves a STINKY HUYMAN... this just isn't the place to write allat

WARNINGS: Mentions of blood, "yandere" behaviors/tendencies, unhealthy mindsets, dead animals (non-graphic), Shaiapouf idolizing violence/depictions of him wanting to fucking maul people GFHDSAH

HIS LOVE LANGUAGE IS ACTS OF SERVICE!! despite all the flowery bullshit he might say later on n the relationship, you'll always know how he's really feeling by his body language and what he goes through with.

there's so little shaiapouf content that its soooo fun to just make up stuff for him. little habits and ticks and sounds he makes as he goes about his day....

have you heard abt the orange cracker butterfly? you will now (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01hjJ4EhWtI)

that shit sounds like a TASER and they make that noise to tell other male butterflies to fuck off from their territory.

.........yes shaiapouf makes irritated taser sounds in public. yes you've almost gotten kicked out of places because workers think you're threatening patrons with a taser.

peppering his face in kisses until he calms down....... he starts warbling and chittering and his pupils dilate and he melts. three bajillion s/o points if you cusp his face in your hands and just rest your forehead against his afterward.

i think he'd give you dead animals as gifts, especially if you were too skinny for his liking. youre his monarch, his ruler, his sovereign, of course he'd find the best of the best for you! it's okay if you don't know how to skin them, he can take care of the gore himself, blood shouldn't grace your hands!

the level of dejected he looks when you turn him down is unfair in every sense of the word. you could have kicked a box of puppies and he would have looked less hurt. he probably would have white-knighted for you and said the puppies deserved it, actually

if blood DID grace your hands however,,,, god,,,,,,,,

him grabbing your arm, pressing kisses to the inside of your bloody wrist before lapping up every trace of red marring your skin......

DO NOT ASK ME ABT HOW HE'D BE DURING YOUR CYCLE!!!!! THE WORLD ISN'T READY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /silly /nsrs

THIGHS THIGHS THIGHS THIGHHSS MMMMMFF.... i think its less about him being a thighs man and moreso that he'd enjoy just resting his head there. it doesn't matter how much shorter you are than him, he'd still contrort himself just to rest his head there as your hand cards through his hair......

okay time for the actual yandere headcanons, you didn't think he could just be cute and kissable and slutty, did you 🤨🤨🤨🤨

he REALLY likes pressing himself as close as possible to you, to watch the way you squirm in the iron shackle of his grip before he lets you go

because don't get it wrong-- he LET you go. shaiapouf finds it entrancing sometimes, the way he can feel your bones grinding together in your hand when he squeezes it too tightly, letting go the moment you yelp and pressing kisses to your knuckles until you complain at him for being the gooiest sap on the planet

micro-manages. god he micro-manages. he'll do the dishes, clean entire rooms, get rid of the old food in the fridge that he knows you're never going to eat despite saying you'd get around to it....

it feels... gross sometimes? you'll be laying in bed, sitting on the couch, at the kitchen counter, and he's just..... been working.

he looks so sad if you try and stop him though. he just wants to help, you know?

it doesn't matter if he's throwing away the clothes that you hide away your body with, stained and threadbare. they're your comfort clothes? that's okay, he'll get you better ones-- or even better, maybe you'd like to try on his own? he's sure you'd look adorable in them <33

it doesn't matter if he's slowly working out your chipped and dented dishes for fine china, delicate crystalware that clinked softly whenever he plated a meal for you. polished silver gleamed from your cutlery drawer, and you were a little scared that your knives would give you a thousand tiny cuts if you even breathed in their direction.

but thats okay, isn't it? he just wants the finer things in life for you... you do like his gifts, right? he worked so hard to get them!

you ask and you ask and you ask, and he never... quite tells you where he goes when he leaves, humming about it being 'confidential' and not to worry your pretty head about it before nuzzling against your temple .

he's not... trying to get rid of your comfort items, to warp your safe spaces. but if you come running into his arms, cuddle against his chest a little more often, well.

that's perfectly fine with him <333

just... don't worry about the speckles of blood on his clothes, the red marring his lips, pretty please? he'll lick the gore from his fangs, peel his clothes from his skin and toss them into the laundry basket before worshipping your body.

don't think about anything else. just him.

loves loves loveessss nipping at your skin...... if you're a chubbier s/o then i'm sure he'll ADORE you.

don't say anthing self-deprecating about your body around him. a gleam will enter his eyes, something dark and menacing before he's laving his tongue across your skin, leaving you squirming and breathy...........

he just really really likes how you look when your skin is littered with bruises and hickeys!!!! when his teeth sink in a little too deep, he'll whisper apologies into your skin, lapping at each droplet and pressing open-mouthed kisses until you're a giggling mess

ermmm anyways let me stop hornyposting this is the yandere part he gets SO SUPER IRRITATED WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T MEET HIS IMAGE OF YOU!!

he SAYS he loves you but...... he can't understand you sometimes, why you'd shiver and start tearing up when he entertains the idea of viserally ripping someone to shreds whom he thought had personally wronged you a few minutes prior

in his mind you're his liege, the thing he worships and protects and lavishes n anything he can offer, he simply can't comprehend the way you start to shy away from him in fear when he entertains any of these ideas too long.

oh, he'll excuse it as instincts, his culture even. he's more than aware of how humans function, their benign society and rules that they keep in place and enforce, but oh.... he's so sorry for asking to rip off the arm of the mailman just because his fingers brushed against yours as he passed a letter to you, to sew his mouth shut with silk thread just because he complimented your appearance.

it was commonplace in his culture, you must understand-- to make moves towards what was very clearly someone else's partner simply wasn't to be tolerated.

ohh, how he wanted to pinch your cheeks and snatch you up from the way your face adorably scrunched up, right before you asked him how the grocer asking credit or debit was making a move.

guyyyysssss he's so sillyyyyyy please just stay with him and vcudlde with hijm in bed and dont think about anyone else ever

[keithsandwich]

First, on the phone

Pairing: Alter Keith/Maeve (OC)

Word Count: ~1.6k

Rating: NSFW

Tags: Phone Sex, Modern!AU, Country!AU (just for context, but it's still more porn than plot), Dirty Talk, Teasing, Language, Guided Masturbation, Alter being a bit of a perv.

Summary: Maeve received a call from someone determined to enjoy every single moment with her to the fullest.

Notes: I don't usually write fanfics heavily based on dialogue, but here we are. Quick context: in this AU, Maeve and Nice Keith were childhood friends until he lost his brother and moved to finish high school in a boarding school. After years away, he has returned, and Maeve is now getting to know Alter Keith properly.

Huge thanks to @bakersgrief for beta reading! 💕

Divider by @/saradika-graphics

“Aren’t you a silly girl?”

“And aren’t you an annoying guy? Gosh! So what if I’ve kept his Muse t-shirt all this time? It’s… It’s a really good shirt!”

“It’s not just the shirt, it’s ya sneakin’ into that guy’s room after he’s gone. Bet ya cried all over his stuff ‘cause ya missed him…”

“Oh my God, shut up!”

“Heh. Too bad ya can’t throw anything at me right now, huh?”

Keith heard Maeve huff in frustration over the phone. If he was honest, it was bad for him too. He missed the sight of her nostrils flaring, her cheeks flushing, and the soft impact of her pillow hitting him. He would take it into his hands, bury his face in it, and fill his lungs with the sweet smell of her hair before tossing it back as they engaged in a pillow fight.

All those sweet moments, ones he had never truly lived but only glimpsed in faded memories that weren’t even his own.

“This ain’t fair, ya know.”

“What isn’t?” Maeve asked lightheartedly, as if she hadn’t been mad at him a moment ago.

“The other guy spent more time with ya than I ever did. And now that we’re talkin’, it’s all about him. You're even wearin’ his shirt while we talk.”

“It wasn’t planned! I didn’t know you were gonna call… Besides, you were the one curious about what I usually wear to sleep. You wouldn’t know if you hadn’t asked.”

“And ya answered so eagerly, didn't ya? Why is that? Could it be…”

“There’s nothing much about an old t-shirt!”

“Not for you, maybe. Ya don’t know how my mind works…”

Silence. Two seconds of it, probably. Enough for Keith to let out a sigh as he laid back on the bed, wondering if she was still there.

“And how does your mind work?” Maeve sounded nonchalant, as if she was naive enough to just shrug and ask the obvious question following what he said. As if his mind was like the old, stolen t-shirt to her: nothing much. Not something covering the most delicious and sinful fantasies.

“I’m not good with words, Mae… I’d much rather show ya.”

“Make an effort. I really wanna know what you’re thinking right now,” she pleaded.

Fuck, he thought. She knew exactly how to use her voice to get what she wanted from him.

But not so fast.

“You curious little bird…” Keith whispered quietly. He was so sure that if he did that in her ear she would shiver; he couldn't help but imagine her doing just that alone in her room. “If ya wanna know that badly ya should let me come over.”

“Nah. But think of it this way: if you tell me, I might be convinced to…"

“Ya wouldn’t…”

“I wouldn’t have gone for a surprise night swim at the lake with you either, and yet I did. Remember?”

“How could I ever forget, Mae… Do you miss it already?”

“Hm, maybe… But right now, I really want to know what’s on your mind.”

“Ask nicely, then.”

“Pretty please?”

Again, that voice.

“I’m thinking you’re so damn cute I wanna tease you more.”

“Keith…” she murmured his name so softly it sounded like a moan.

He wondered if he was the one being teased.

“Can’t I tease ya ‘til ya wanna toss a pillow at me again?” He paused, waiting for her to sigh and keep insisting. Or to admit defeat. Whatever came first. But when the sweet little sound of her breath hit his ear, he couldn’t wait any longer. “This is what I’ve been thinkin’, silly girl: teasing you into a pillow fight while ya in this old t-shirt… Making ya jump on your bed, making ya laugh, making ya tackle me just so that I can grab you and pin you down on the mattress. That’s what’s been on my mind.”

“Well, that is… Not so bad?” She giggled in little huffs against the phone.

“Not so bad ‘til I hold your wrists above your head with one hand so I can use the other to check what’s beneath the shirt, Mae…”

“What if I kick you?”

“Giggling all cutely like this? Not sure if it’s gonna work…” He laughed along. “C’mon… It would be better than what we did at the lake…”

“Would you kiss me too?”

“Always…” Keith’s voice dropped, turning lower and more serious. “I’d kiss ya every chance I get. Especially when ya look at me with those pretty eyes of yours… Makes me wanna devour you whole.”

“Keith…”

“Can I touch your thighs as I fill your little mouth with my tongue, Mae? Can I run my hand up until I find out if you’re wearing something underneath this t-shirt ya love so much?”

“...Of course I am…” Her voice sounded so hot and heavy Keith could see her blushing in his mind.

“Of course you are. You’re such a good girl, aren’t you? Is it a white panty like the one you were wearing at the lake?”

“Oh, shut it…”

“Are ya gettin’ all shy now? Did ya think I didn’t have that image burned into my mind? That wet little mess… So sheer I could see the shape of your pussy perfectly…” His voice sounded more throaty than he intended, but Keith couldn’t control it anymore.

“I didn’t think you were looking… so closely…”

“I’ve got an eye for detail, miss. The perks of having to watch stuff through someone else’s eyes. But what about you, hm? I believe my hard cock wasn’t just a detail ya could’ve missed, was it?”

“Oh, gee… How can you be so… so…”

“Cocky?” Keith let out a quiet and low laugh, and Maeve soon followed. “Ya like it, dontcha?”

“What? Your cock?”

She was being bratty again, teasing him like that. He bit his knuckle. It was becoming harder and harder not to get in his truck and run to her.

“Yeah… That too,” he murmured when he recollected himself. “Have you ever imagined it… stretching your tight little pussy, hm, Mae?”

She sighed.

“Aren’t you getting ahead of yourself now? You were still using your hand to feel my panties…”

“Our imagination can run free while we feel each other, can’t it? But we can go back to it… My hand on your panties, my thumb… My thumb can rub your clit in little circles, can’t it?”

“Maybe…”

“Are ya losing your breath there?”

“Oh, shush… Don’t…” Another loud sigh. Her voice turned a little more husky, a little more quiet, as she went on: “Keep going.”

He hummed.

“You’re already so wet, aren’t you? I want ya leaking on your sheets, tho. Can ya do it for me, Mae? Can ya think of me pushing your panties aside and playing with your entrance a little with the tip of my finger? Don’t worry, I gotcha… I’ll keep my thumb on your clit all the time, hm?” His voice turned into a mess of labored breaths as he fought the urge to touch the length throbbing inside his sweatpants.

“When you… Say it like this…”

“What? Tell me…”

“It feels nice.”

“Hmm, I know… Ready to let me slide that finger inside you?"

Maeve swallowed her breath. This answer was satisfying enough.

“I won’t go too deep, not now anyway. There’s no need to. I just want to… To feel you, silly girl… Getting all hot and wet and… And clenching around my finger…”

Fuck.

“Keith…” she moaned. She downright moaned.

Fuck.

“Then I would go harder… I would find just… Just the right way to touch you, Mae. To touch your sweet spots… And I would go faster… Mercilessly… Faster… While stuffing your pretty mouth with my tongue… Until you can’t breathe, okay?”

“Okay…” she replied promptly, between hot huffs of air. Without thinking, without teasing, without caring.

Fuck.

“Mae… Cum for me.”

“I, ah…”

“I know you’re close. Don’t be shy now. Let it go, Mae… Cum for me, I need to hear it…”

She moaned again. Keith bit his knuckle again. His erection throbbed again.

He would go crazy.

“Give it to me, Mae. I… I can’t take it anymore…” He paused. The only things that existed were the sweet sounds she made and the overwhelming desire taking over his whole body. Keith held his breath. He thought he could hear wet sounds through the phone, and it would be the death of him. “I need you… Are you listening to me?”

Maeve made an incoherent sound as a reply.

“I… need… you…” Keith groaned like a beast.

She moaned louder. And this time, she didn’t seem able to stop it.

It was… Heaven.

“Attagirl… Enjoying yourself, hm? Go on, take your time…” he whispered softly.

“Hey…” Little by little her breathing started to settle down, and she laughed quietly. “Don’t tease me! I… I did not do anything! I was just… Playing with you!”

“Playing with me, hm?”

“Yes!! Only with you…”

“So, if I come over right now you’ll be all calm and composed?”

“Absolutely!”

“Heh. Let’s see what I’ll find, then.”

“...What?”

But it was already too late for her. Keith had already hung up and was grabbing the keys to his truck without a second thought.

There were many things he had lost because of the circumstances of his existence. He wouldn’t waste another second. He would take Maeve, and all those sweet moments of pleasure and need. All those sweet moments of teasing and laughing.

He would have them all.

Fanfic (all) taglist: @bicayaya, @floydsteeth, @solacedeer, @jozhenji, @scummy-writes

@lorei-writes, @mxrmaid_poet, @bakersgrief, @candied-boys, @aquagirl1978

@valkyyriia, @queengiuliettafirstlady, @welp-back-on-my-bs, @ludivineikewolf, @fang-and-feather

Taglist forms if you want in.

DM if you want out, or if you no longer want to be tagged in NSFW posts.

[bug-bites]

west side apartment, paper plane

tw: brief non-graphic mentions of ghost going thru war stuff and ghost's backstory in the comics (changed a few details because this is fanfic. duh), slight angst (bc yk,, yearning) but sort of fluff if ghost had a dollar for every moment he spent yearning he would have enough money to retire and live a happy life away from the military, also we're pretending british chinese takeout is good, not proofread :P

pairing: simon "ghost" riley x gn!reader (like always can be read as platonic or romantic)

characters: simon "ghost" riley

a/n: i hate how fucking massive the song link is but yk what its fine. but i am back and in a laufey moment!

simon has lived an interesting life, maybe he wouldn’t use interesting. if he could describe it he would probably use words like terrifying, cruel, or for a lack of better terms, shitty. from the moment he was born it seemed like misery and tragedy followed him around like a stray dog, finding its way into every aspect of his existence. his childhood home was always something he wanted to escape, or rather his father was what he wanted to run away from. there were good moments after he kicked the old bastard out, but the ever present threat of tragedy proved that it wouldn’t last. life had been cruel, dealing him possibly the worst hand possible, the only constant being misfortune, that is until you came along.

a temporary living arrangement. thats all it was. rent was a little too much for one person to afford, so you both signed the lease on a crummy, small, mixed-use apartment right in the middle of manchester. it wasn’t much, takeout dinners from the restaurant below and late rent payments were the norm but even with the busted heating, life in that apartment had never felt so warm.

after long shifts at your respective jobs he would come home, plastic bags of takeout in his hands, a sign for you to set a few blankets on the ground before both of you eat ungodly amounts of shrimp fried rice and orange sesame chicken. he could spend hours listening to you speak, nothing made him feel so at home. maybe it was the fact that the food was good and also inexpensive, or maybe it was because he was too exhausted to do anything else, but he loved those long sleepless nights spent sitting on the floor, talking about everything and nothing. simon cant imagine another time in his life when he was genuinely so happy or another time he laughed so hard water came out his nose.

he especially loved opening fortune cookies with you at the end of every meal. sure, he never believed in those fortunes but the idea was always fun to entertain. the sound of the cookie cracking open to expose the slip of paper, revealing what the future had in store for him usually filled him with a childlike curiosity. or at least got a laugh out of him.

“hah, mine says ‘there will be a happy romance for you shortly’. these things really could not be farther from the truth. bet yours is more accurate” you say, popping half of the broken cookie into your mouth “your father loves you and is always with you. remember that.” he reads out loud with a chuckle “oh. that- hm. yeah i take that back”

but the one thing he loved more than opening those silly fortunes with you or the late night dinners was after you both cleaned up the empty takeout boxes, taking the menus and folding them into paper planes. it became a sort of tradition after you got bored and began to mess around with the glossy paper that listed mouthwatering dishes and house specials. he could never get it right, one wing was always too big or his folds were clumsily made and uneven, making them practically incapable of flight but yours were the complete opposite. each crease made was perfect, every intricate pleat skillfully crafted to allow the small paper aircraft to glide through the air with ease. as you tossed your planes off the balcony of your shared flat, the sight of the plane sailing through the air as the sun set always filled the both of you with a sense of nostalgia. and of course you both picked them up and tossed them out because we dont mess w/ littering over here

simon cant help but look back at those simpler times and miss them. he knows from the start it was intended to be temporary, but he’s been through so much chaos and trauma all he just wants a quiet life where he doesnt have to be ghost. he just wants a nice warm home to come back to. it doesnt have to be big, it doesnt have to be expensive, it just has to feel like home. it just has to feel like you. its been so long since the two of you parted ways but as he stares at the last paper airplane that he kept, he cant help but wonder if you feel that way too. as he lies awake in his bed at the military base he’s stationed in, he spends those nights craving that domesticity he had with you. he recalls every memory, every minute detail that made him love that cramped apartment and maybe how he loved you even more.

[fruitsoxs]

Hi, socks! i've read your Vash and Wolfwood as roommate. But, hear me out! They as reader's bodyguard😳 Feel free if it is prince/ss or Idol reader!

Thank you, and i love your fanfic!

Went noble reader because i’m a sucker for knight/guard x noble lol

pairings; vash x (GN)reader, Woflwood x (GN) reader warnings; suggestive themes in wolfwood's but no nsfw, hint at attempted sa/abuse in wolfwoods(nothing graphic), mention of starvation as a punishment in wolfwood's, notes; hope this is okay! if you cant tell vash's is very cute and wolfwoods..is too i promise

Vash

When he gets assigned as your guard you’re pretty sure you’re going to melt

He’s very sweet, and super cute

He seems a little nervous around you at first though. He keeps stuttering and messing up proper etiquette (which is adorable)

You warm up to him pretty fast

He’s nonviolent, but also somehow one of the best fighters anyone has ever seen???

He’s vowed not to kill anyone, but he’ll beat someone’s ass to keep you safe.

The first time he has to beat someone up is during an assassination attempt on your life. Some crazed man runs through your gardens wielding a knife- and You’ve never seen Vash move so fast before. The man is down in seconds, out cold. Vash just smiles at you. You basically fall for him there and then

You like to sneak sweets to him that are meant for you. You get yelled at for it, but the look on his face is worth it

Sometimes the two of you will sneak into the kitchens late at night and ransack the place to make each other little treats

He also likes to take you out for horse rides, and walks. He like show happy you seem when you get away from your home, and get a chance to just run around and be yourself

He hates watching you force yourself into the stuffy standards of being a noble. He knows it makes you unhappy

So he does everything in his power to make you smile

After the two of you get really close, he’ll start sneaking up to your room to hang out at night. Sometimes you’ll sneak out to find him, and the two of  you will go stargazing and talk

One of those nights you learn how he lost his arm, and the two of you fall asleep with your head on his chest

The next morning you have to rush home. Luckily your maids are cool and hide that you were ever gone

Falling in love with him is scary, because the two of you could be separated if anyone ever finds out

Somehow the both of you just know you are in love though

You don’t have to say anything. You just start holding hands when nobody is looking…and those late nights together get a bit more intimate 

The first time you kiss it’s in the kitchens. He’s trying to make some silly little recipe one of the cooks gave him, and he ends up getting flour all over his face. You start wiping it off and he just kisses you.

That’s when you know that this is the man you will love forever. 

Sadly, your family has other plans

Plans that Vash refuses to let happen. 

One night after finding out you are to be wed, he climbs up onto your balcony and starts asking you to pack whatever stuff you want

It turns out he has a few friends that are willing to help the two of you run away together

You garb the few things you want, and leave with your arms wrapped around him as the two of you ride off into the darkness

You get a cute little house in a random village

You finally are free

He gives you a ring on top of that little tart recipe that he was trying to make the first time you kissed

Wolfwood

Wolfwood is a menace from the start

Your family decides to hire a personal guard to watch over you after there’s a few death threats sent their way

The decide to hire the most expensive, and experienced merc they can find

They have no idea that this merc HATES rich people

The moment you meet Wolfwood calls you things like “brat” or “prince/ss” in the most demeaning ways

He’s rude, and you’re pretty sure you hate him

But also he’s so hot-

I imagine he’s all rough, with callused hands and scars all over his hands and arms. 

He also flirts with you because he’s shameless

The first time he saves you is also the first time you see the kind side he likes to hide away 

You’re out on the town, doing a bit of shopping in the market when the two of you get separated somehow. 

While looking for him, you get cornered by two guys who do not have the best intentions with you

Right as they grab you to hall you off, Wolfwood appears.

He doesn’t even need a weapon. He takes both of the men out with his fists without breaking a sweat

After the men are knocked out, Wolfwood pulls you away and starts asking if you’re alright. When he sees the bruise on your wrist from how hard the man grabbed you  he tries to run back to the men muttering “i’ll kill em”

You stop him and tell him it’s okay, you just want to go home. He takes you home right away

That night you clean and dress the wounds on his knuckles and he falls in love with you

After that he still calls you names, but you can sense something other than hate behind his words. They become terms of endearment instead

He still hates all your friends, and family

Your first kiss is heated. You’re practicing piano, and he’s sitting next to you

You teach him how to play a few notes of a song, directing his fingers 

After he plays it successfully you kiss his cheek and he responds by slamming his lips against yours, forcing his tongue into your mouth

That piano is then used for…other things…

After that you two constantly sneak in kisses and ahem quickies whenever you can

He also notices that your family doesn’t really treat you well pretty fast

He sees the way they take away your meals when you’ve done something they think is bad

He gets progressively more angry until he finally snaps and just takes you away from that life

You leave in the middle of the day, and Wolfwood threatens to kill anyone that tries to come after you

You move into a cute little cottage where you can finally live your dream

Away from that horrible life, and happy with Wolfwood

[blakbonnet]

Artist of the Week!

So last weekend, I announced that I'd like to feature an artist every weekend for both new fandom joinees who might not have seen some of this art and older fans who like the nostalgia. This week's artist is Ash @aha-my-villainous-thoughts 💖 who also, wonderful that they are, agreed to answer a few questions for me!

Which App Do You Use To Draw When I’m at my big set up I use Clip Studio Paint, I love it so much. It’s very straight forward to dip straight in, has all of the bells and whistles you need from an elite drawing program, and the community elements where you can see assets and brushes is a lot of fun - although I still to this day have no idea how to earn coins to buy assets?! I use a XPPen Artist 15.6 Pro Graphics Tablet to draw into the program, although my best tip with graphics tablets is to get a screen protector, mine got covered in marks before I noticed. Recently I also got an iPad 10.9 to use as a digital sketchbook I can carry around, and while I am enjoying Procreate, I think CSP is a better art program overall.

Fave Brushes? On iPad I stick to the technical pen, studio pen and the soft airbrush, along with the textures and the light pen. I don’t think Procreate has great ‘painting’ brushes, whereas on CSP I would marry the Gouache brushes, I love how they blend and texture as you work.

Your favourite piece you’ve drawn? I’m a super self indulgent artist, I try to draw the kind of stuff I like to look at, so it’s a lot of colour, a lot of fabric and details. My fave piece for detail is the one I did for the OFMD RBB last year - Crescente Devotione, there’s a blushing sentient stool in it! For colour I’m in love with this sleepy time Ed in a lil negligee and a Holly Golightly eyemask, he's my lock screen because I'm trash.

Who harder to draw: Ed or Stede? Oh for sure Stede. I love Rhys Darby, but the man has like no lips. I stand by this meltdown.

One essential tip for beginner artists? Comparison is the thief of joy, don’t measure yourself against others - particularly when you’re finding your groove. Be self indulgent af. Also get a screen protector for whatever digital screen you draw on, and BACK. THINGS. UP. Whether in an online account, or on an external harddrive - or both?! BACK THAT SHIT UP.

Why OFMD? I’ve been in a few fandoms in the past, always as a pretty passive enjoyer, little fanart here or there, little fanfic sprinkled around, but there’s just something about the way this fandom feels? It feels like a group of friends who’ve got their own lives and their goals, but they still exist in each other's orbit, it’s like this feeling of returning home to somewhere you’re always welcome. There’s so many good moments in the show for both comedy and some gut wrenching pathos. Sign up for the hot guy in leather and get got by this beautiful delicate little love story. It’s something about queer joy of thriving, not just surviving. Something about finding love and romance no matter your age or what’s past before. Something about found family, and unlikely friendships, and community and silliness. I was already a goner when Taika put on the wig, but then when he teared up in a blanket fort while trying not to die? Excuse me sir, I did not need feelings that powerful. It was literally waking me up at night thinking about his last shot weeping in the nook - like are you kidding me?! I’m supposed to finish watching and be normal after that??

[moonlightreal]

The Jewel Riders graphic novel

so, how was it?

What I loved:

-The art. Gorgeous! Flowed well, the colors were good. Love it!

-That they made Merlin creepy. In the cartoon Merlin is clearly supposed to be a gentle, all-wise mentor but something about him always came off as a tiny bit creepy in a way the creators of the show did not intend. The creators of the comic picked up this creepiness and ran with it and I am well chuffed that something that was a fanfic idea I had was also going through these creators minds and they went with it and I love it.

-The creators’ love for the world of the Jewel Riders. They brought back the sheep! They remembered Kale’s evil-baby-deer form! They love Tamara and got her spot on! (true Jewel Riders fans love Tamara, we all just do) they had a scene where Fallon is upset and sits with Moondance mirroring one of the more powerful moments in the show. The writers of this comic must have really loved the cartoon, the silliness and the darker tone both together. This is completely a Jewel Riders graphic novel. It’s got the right vibe, the right worldbuilding, it is so perfect at being what it is!

-The plot driver being Queen Anya/Adrianna’s love for her banished sister, with flashbacks to them as teenagers in training to be Jewel Riders. Setting up Merlin as being responsible for Kale getting denied her magic jewel and turning evil and opening up redemption possibilities. Flashback images of young Kale and Adrianna. This is the perfect plot decision, I love it, 10/10 no notes.

What I did not love:

-The story was presented… not badly, but there were a lot of moments that made me go “I think this is what they’re trying to say, but I’m not sure.” For example, Gwen is getting ready to marry Drake and become queen, and she doesn’t want to. I think the intended plot is…

Land Beyond Dreams, that’s what I think the intended plot is. In the cut-from-the-final-version words of Princess Rosella, “But I’m not prepared to put my freedom on the shelf. How can I share with someone else what I don’t understand myself?” Gwen likes Drake but isn’t sure she wants to marry him and she knows she doesn’t want to marry him right NOW, and she knows she’ll be queen someday but she isn’t ready to stop adventuring YET… is what I think the graphic novel is saying, but it isn’t saying why Gwen can’t just say all that and spend more years as a Jewel Rider.

And it seems like Drake got fired from being a wolf riding boy Jewel Rider to… be Gwen’s full time bodyguard and fiance? But why would that mean giving up his own adventuring? And why does everybody seem to be cutting him out of all the action? There’s no logical reason he isn’t still a Jewel Rider. He even has his Forest Stone in a few panels.

While I utterly love how Queen Adrianna missing her sister summoned said sister back from evil banishment but it happened kind of confusingly. Adrianna summoned her sister, started seeing visions of Kale? Gwen didn’t see them. And then suddenly the land is all thorny and apocalyptic with no “Since Merlin said that Kale had returned, evil thorn plants have been growing out of control!” from anybody.

...is anyone else getting the same vibe that I’m trying to describe here? Like there’s a good plot, but like I’m having to do some long stretches to connect the pieces and the writing could have been changed just slightly to pull everything together in a way that requires less “it seems like” from the reader.

-And here comes the rant.

The thing I really did not love. The thing that made me downright furious with the creators of this graphic novel.

The book had nothing to help new readers who hadn’t seen the cartoon understand what was going on. No little explanatory text, no introductions to the characters and world. There needed to be at least a simple character page like manga have in the beginning… hang on, I can photoshop. The graphic novel needed this:

Ok I made that in like 5 minutes and it’s garbage, but you see my point! This would have added so much for people who just thought the cover was cool and picked up the graphic novel with no prior knowledge of the world. Without it, I’m afraid that the book will only sell to fans of the show, and I can’t imagine that there are enough of us to keep a graphic novel series going. So I think the creators’ decision to write something that’s ONLY for old fans and NOT AT ALL for new fans will result in the series being a flop instead of delivering more Jewel Riders fun for all of us for years to come, and for that I am so angry I could spit nails, so angry I could yell at the people who made a graphic novel that I have so much good to say about!

I hope so much that I’m wrong, and there will be more volumes published because I am just going wild to find out what happens next. What’s up with Kale now that she’s back? What’s up with Merlin now that he’s getting more and more questionable?

And as a longtime fan, what else are the creators going to bring back? Kit the prismfox? That critter made an impression on a lot of us! Ian, the beast of the forest who Gwen kinda had a thing with? The gliders? Will Morgana be back? Will we see any of the other girls’ parents? Will there be anything about Moondance and Cleo being princesses of the unicorns? Might they introduce another zebracorn friend for Shadow, or explore his origins? Could they go mining in the show bible and pull out the biggest unused gemstone: Gwen’s younger sister Tara? They’d have to figure out a way to explain how Tara was never mentioned once in all the show, but maybe she was hidden away for her protection, or kidnapped and the queen was so distraught she swore never to speak of it or something, silly lampshades but why not?

The world of Avalon has so many directions for a writer to explore and I want to see all of them!

[angie-words]

How to Play: Good Omens fanfic

CWs: angst but with a happy ending, unresolved and eventually resolved romantic/sexual tension, light dom/sub, non-graphic smut - no explicit sex, so much yearning

I wanted to write a fic that captured the tension between A&C over the years without including any explicit sex. Hopefully you'll enjoy! Let me know what you think <3

Thanks to springofviolets, azeutreciathewicked, the-literal-kj, playdohangel and MisterScruffyPoo for being amazing beta readers!

Summary: Crowley and Aziraphale have been playing a game over the centuries: finding ways to touch without ever really acknowledging that's what they're doing, or talking about what it all means. But Crowley will follow any rules Aziraphale sets out so he can protect whatever this fragile thing is between them.

Excerpt:

This stranger of a demon, Furfur (a silly little thing full of sound and fury and signifying nothing), was practically bouncing up and down on his heels with glee. Crowley growled but refused to take him seriously. It was a demon: full of pride, every one of them (it does come before a fall, after all), and thus easy to trick and outmanoeuvre. He'd think of something, he reassured himself as he leaned back on the velvet sofa, listening with amusement as Furfur absolutely eviscerated the angel’s name.

“Azi-ra-pa-pap. Azi-fa-fe-la-a-la.”

Crowley stifled the snort that threatened to escape his mouth.

And then out of nowhere, there was a voice that surged with self-assured power, a steel fist wrapped in a silk glove; a voice that he had never heard before poured out through the angel’s lips:

“A-zira-phale.”

The syllables struck Crowley across the face, sunk into his bones, bore themselves down against his ribs and rasped, 'Mine'.

Oh, Crowley thought, head swimming as he tried to catch a breath that his body begged for, Wasn’t that just something?

Read more on AO3

[faegoddessog]

26: Give your fanfic writers a boost and share your favourite MOTA AU

Ok loves, I've decided to try something to stretch myself creatively with this challenge. I'm gonna dribble my drabble and see if I can tie each theme into an actual story that I'll write day by day! We'll see how it goes! Wish me luck!

Here is my ongoing masterlist of this project.

My other works are here if you are interested!

Check out the fun challenge here by @slowsweetlove . Feel free to jump in too!

WARNINGS: More silly post-sex bonding

Shout out to the following MOTA fanfic authors! (find the links embedded in the story below)

@avonne-writes and @middlingmay

“Oh hey, there is pie!!!” you exclaim before they can question what you mean about keeping them. 

Your attempt to disentangle yourself from between them are stifled by Callum holding you tight. 

“Mmm not done yet,” he says Callum. 

"Yeah, but post sex snacks,” Austin says temptingly, rolling onto his back, “what kind did you bring?”

“French Silk, I thought it appropriate with how French we were all about to get,” says Callum coming up with a huge grin. "I even got dairy free, just for you Aus."

"Aww, you remembered!" smiles Austin.

>>>>>> 

At this point, formality is completely unnecessary. You plop the pie and three forks onto the low kitchen island. Your apartment had that open layout with a sort of breakfast bar separating the kitchen and dinning room. You'd just never go stools for it, preferring to always sit at the table.

“Who needs plates,” you dig in hedonistically to the white cream on top.

The boys shrug and do the same. 

“Tell me about these gay characters,” you ask around a mouthful of silky chocolate . 

“No, no there is no evidence of that,” says Austin trying to be respectful to the men’s memory.

“Yeah but dude, they would have worked hard to hide it, times being what they were,” retorts Callum, "Egan litterally said it should have been them two getting married at Gale's wedding."

They go on to tell you a little about the men they portrayed. 

“Well,” you say, “if what I just got to witness is anything like the chemistry you two have on screen, I’m telling you right now, there will be whole fanfiction novels written about you two.”

“No,” says Austin hating the idea of his private life becoming even fictionally public, “it’ll be about Buck and Bucky, not us.” 

“Yeah but us by proxy, Aus,” counters Cal, “you know how creative fans can get.” 

“For sure” you say as if this included you somehow, “They’ll be post-war trauma healing through sex or that you’ll fall in love in high school. Or some totally different alternate universe where you two like, race cars and suck each others dicks. ��Dollars to donuts they’ll turn one of you into an animal that the other can plop in their lap and pet. 

“I’d like to be a cat, just for a little while” says Austin thoughtfully.

“MMM, my own little pussy to pet,” jokes Cal. 

“Careful, I’ll scratch you if you’re not nice,” Austin claws his hand in the air. 

credit to @saradika for the graphic!

Always tag me: @purejasmine, @slowsweetlove, @richardslady121, @austinbutlerslovers, @tadpoleteef, @allittakesisoneflight

"I've been tagged by you before Lumiere!": @thisworldisntrealhoney,  @1nho,  @megangovier, @briaandthephantoms, @andro-inherdreamworld @callumsgirl @blombardo  @fefeisastar @hacunamy @nestito702 @denised916 @jayydep @r0m4nitcl0v3r @heyidc03, @secondchild-2, @flander42 @natural-born-rebel-spirit @lecosymood @kathrynzaragoza @bsunshinexo @jayydep @ifyouloveweedletsgosmoke

[shadowgast-recs-weekly]

Funny Shadowgast Recs

This week, we have eleven funny fanfics featuring f-shadowgast. Look under the readmore for the recs, and as always, don't forget to comment and kudos!

Indecency by RainyDayDecaf (5898, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Graphic Depictions of Violence

5+1 where Caleb and Essek keep accidentally engaging in courtship rituals from the other's culture.

Reccer says: Very cute and sweet, with imaginative world building about Zemnian and Xhorhasian courting rituals.

Sufficiently Advanced Magic by SaltCore (5879, General) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

A crossover crackfic where Shadowgast, Griddlehark, and Spirk all wind up in the same place; shenanigans hijinks ensue.

Reccer says: This is very silly, but but the character writing is incredibly on point. Watching these six bounce off each other is a treat

Girl, Interrupting by DefilerWyrm (1902, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Caleb and Essek are in the middle of, ahem, *exchanging theories,* when Jester chooses the worst possible moment to send to Essek. Or the best, depending on your perspective.

Reccer says: Both sexy and funny in the best possible way.

LOVE & OTHER ENCHANTMENTS by LivThael (2092, General) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

A send up on romantic comedies, starring Caleb and Essek

Reccer says: Made for a bad fic event, it's a hilarious and very readable send up of romantic comedies, filled with lumberjacks, bookstores, romantic declarations, and much more.

Safe For Work by Operafloozy (1501, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Caleb and Essek find a mysterious artifact in Aeor that has unexpected results.

Reccer says: Like if Patrick Bateman wrote porn' says it all. Written for a badfic event, this one takes corporate jargon to ridiculous extremes. You'll never sit through a corporate event the same way again.

A Weird Soup by mousecookie (1721, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

AU in which Shadowhand Essek is so bad at cooking that he accidentally summons a demon: Caleb.

Reccer says: I liked it!

Kryn Dynasty Skincare 101 by soot_and_salt (3571, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek's vanity and intense multi-step skincare regimen turns into chaos when the Mighty Nein barge into his life.

Reccer says: It's funny but also heartwarming. It has tantalizing glimpses of how Essek and Caleb get together, told through different skin care items he gifts to the group. The middle part with the Nein and their hair is laugh out loud funny and the ending is such a sweet note.

Altered State of Mind by Defiler_Wyrm (6853, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Caleb polymorph shenanigans

Reccer says: All of the fic is great but the final section is HILARIOUS.

The Artifact by Chekhov (14378, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

A romantic comedy where the wizards find a mysterious object that seems to be related to the Luxon

Reccer says: This fic is funny and I laughed out loud while reading it. Their play fighting over the artifact is so silly and horny

A Scaled Splendor by royalgreen (656, General) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Caleb has a mishap using True Polymorph. Veth is completely unsympathetic.

Reccer says: Caleb is trying to impress his boyfriend and messes up in the funniest of ways.

An Evening To Remember by Interrobang (1755, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: None

Essek tries to surprise Caleb by showing up wearing his cloak, mantle, and little else, and is horrified to realize that Caleb has arranged a surprise of his own.

Reccer says: Author nailed the balance between anticipation and secondhand embarrassment when the situation doesn't turn out as Essek planned.

Aeor is for Lovers is an 18+ Shadowgast Discord server. The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. All fics, unless otherwise specified, will primarily feature Shadowgast. Have any questions about what this is? Check out the FAQ! Next week, we’ll be back featuring fics with Shadowgast on a boat!

[bogwitchmediaconsumption]

Batman: Wayne Family Adventures Volume 1 - Graphic Novel

exactly as silly and fun and cute as promised! it is all of those things in spades in a ton of like, tiny little vignette stories and yeah sure i read it in like 30 minutes but i am so happy i got it. if you like mushy fanfic batfam content this is absolutely for you. at least, from my experience. damian getting the puppy and duke getting trailed on a date were so funny. very recommended