#a shitpost only one person will understand

[baejax-the-great]

Why did Elgar'nan, the largest of the Evanuris, not simply eat the other six?

[crazy-fangirl2524]

I know we say Neil Josten is constantly mischaracterised by the fandom or even himself but you know who is the most mischaracterised in the entire series?

Andrew minyard by all the characters except for Neil, Renee, Bee and Wymack

[lollipopsnowy]

grilled. cheese. sandwiches.

[vonlipvig]

the people on reddit being confused about this is so funny because I Get It. still, it bears discussing:

dune and wicked being at the top does make sense since they're previously established fandoms, and a lot of those are probably just tagging the new movies as well. also, gelphie is gelphie.

conclave having 200+ works is not surprising. the only thing surprising is that it only has 200+ works. honestly, i expected more. one person on reddit was like 'well yeah, nuns are a staple of horny fiction!' and everyone else was like 'honey...'.

substance and anora with about 40 is about what i expected, they're not the most fanfic-inspiring types of movie, tho i can imagine some cute ani/igor or wacky substance hijinks.

the brutalist having 15 is wild because if you've seen the movie you can probably imagine what kind of fics they are. equal parts concerning and totally understandable. there aren't more because not everyone can commit to writing smut for a 3hr30 slow american epic.

a complete unknown is weird because you'd think people would be all over RPFing bob dylan, but maybe that all falls in another tag. nobody saw ACU is more like it.

none for ISH, nickel boys, and emilia perez makes sense. though i'm surprised there are no EP shitpost fics at all. hello very nice to meet you i'd like to know about fanfic publication. i see i see i see. male on female? female on male? male on male. from yuri to yaoiiii.

[scottiexmariee]

Social Media Headcanons

How I think the boys would be with various social media!

Masterlist

★ let's be real

★ Xav would follow you on everything.

★ he doesn't have an account? he's making one just to follow you and maybe Jeremiah if he's lucky

★ he would absolutely have your post notifications on too, would never admit that out loud though

★ don't worry he's definitely not checking to see who else likes your posts

★ interacts with 99% of your posts

★ would definitely attempt to post a "cute" candid pic of you, but in reality it's blurry as hell and completely mid

★ ^ "but I like that picture..."

★ I do think Xav would have a tiktok, but I think he'd be more of an observer than a poster

❄ aside from the Moments posts, I don't really see Zayne keeping up with a bunch of social media

❄ man is BUSY. I can't realistically imagine him doom scrolling through tiktok or twitter after a torturously long day at the hospital

❄ I REALLY feel like he would think tiktok is overstimulating or something

❄ but he would definitely sit with you like a good boy and watch some if you really wanted to show him something (bro is a closet softie, be fr)

❄ would definitely make occasional posts of you, like he does with the moment posts.

❄ probably dedicates his instagram to scenery pictures

❄ is definitely in your comments with his dry ass humor

♥ most definitely has every single type of social media

♥ twitter, instagram, tiktok, etc. all of it

♥ whether or not he runs the accounts? probably not most of them (ily Thomas)

♥ Raf is funny af, if you've seen the "sound was crisp 10/10" moment post you know what I'm talking about. I just know there'd be a GOLDMINE of similar posts on his personal twitter

♥ can totally see him being dramatic and sending you tiktoks of things he wants to do

♥ for exanple

♥ he sends you a video of a couple at the beach, holding hands and walking by the water

♥ after sending the tiktok, he'd say something like "must be nice"

♥ ^ "Rafayel do you want to go for a walk on the beach?"

♥ ^ "well, I was gunna work on a painting... buuut since you asked so nicely, be here in 10 cutie,"

♦ okay listen

♦ this man would be gassing you up in your instagram comments (personal hype man? oh yes, absolutely)

♦ man also has no problem showing you off, you're def getting posted. bro adores you. immediate hard launch, zero shits given

♦ sometimes he posts vague ass shit on moments that only you (and maybe the twins) would understand, so I definitely see that carrying over to other platforms

♦ imagine him cryptic posting on twitter

♦ ^ "the sky is a little darker than normal today" and he's literally just being petty because you forgot to send a good morning text

♦ as for tiktok, I can absolutely see you having to explain to him wtf a tiktok even is

♦ "Why not just post it on Moments? I don't understand why it needs a whole different platform."

♦ ^ he'd definitely make an account though, simply because you asked

♦ if he posts anything on tiktok at all, it would probably be him using an alloy ammo box as a grill or something (iykyk), or reposting things that you posted

BONUS: Luke & Kieran

-Let's be fr, Luke & Kieran would most definitely be shitposters

-They are funny as HELL

-Brainrot fyp on tiktok = Luke and Kieran

-Their social media would absolutely be chaos but I'm here for it

[homunculus-argument]

There's this thing on tumblr when someone will respond to a jokingly written post with "I know this is just a shitpost, but actually OP is right about" and then proceeding to explain the background information of the joke. Like congratulations, you have correctly identified the punchline. Thank you for explaining my own joke to me. Do I personally, specifically, strike you as an idiot, or do you just generally assume that other people are mindless, nonsensical machines without knowledge or understanding, who are only correct about anything purely by coincidence?

If successfully observing another person have an intelligent thought is so rare and amazing to you, that you might as well have witnessed one of the infinite monkeys on their infinite keyboards actually write Shakespeare, you might not actually be the smartest person in the room.

[solaireverie]

1633 | king of my heart

summary: [ lestappen — social media au ] in which the crown prince of monaco falls in love with a formula 1 driver

warnings: language, implied/referenced homophobia

author’s note: i made a shitpost this morning and here i am now. never let it be said that i don't give the people what they want.

45,299 likes

monacoupdates Crown Prince Charles is present today at the #MonacoGP on behalf of the royal family! The self-professed avid motorsport fan will be spending time in the Ferrari, Alpine, and Red Bull garages.

view comments

user charles is always serving damn

↪ user monaco how does it feel to have won in the crown prince lottery???

↪ user très bien, thanks for asking 😌

liked by pierregasly, f1, hshcrownprincecharles, and 512,920 others

tagged: hshcrownprincecharles, pierregasly

alpinef1team A very special visit from hshcrownprincecharles! #MonacoGP

view comments

user charles at every opportunity: i'm not french! 😠 also charles:

↪ user lmao tbf he's known pierre for a while

↪ user bro how???

↪ user idk f1 drivers hang around monaco a lot and they both speak french

↪ user it's not even just pierre charles is also pretty close with the monaco-based drivers like max and lando

user 10 seconds penalty to ocon for not greeting charles 😂

↪ user poor estie bestie 😭

↪ alpinef1team Esteban did talk with Crown Prince Charles 😉 Just a pity that His Serene Highness had to rush off before we could get pictures...

hshcrownprincecharles has added to their story

seen by maxverstappen1, pierregasly, hshprincelorenzo and 1,293,201 others

liked by carlossainz55, f1, hshcrownprincecharles and 892,103 others

tagged: carlossainz55, hshcrownprincecharles

scuderiaferrari Please welcome hshcrownprincecharles to the #Tifosi for the #MonacoGP 🥳

view comments

hshcrownprincecharles Grazie mille for the opportunity to try the racing driver life!

↪ scuderiaferrari Our pleasure 🥰 hshprincelorenzo and hshprincesspascale can we keep him, s'il vous plait?

↪ hshdukearthur I don't think Lorenzo and Maman would be the only ones against Charles becoming a Ferrari driver 😂

user you don't understand how emotional this makes me 🥹 charles always said that if he could pick any job he'd be a f1 driver and to see him get to experience his dream!! even if for only a day!!!

carlossainz55 Personally I think Charles would be slower than me

↪ hshcrownprincecharles This is lèse-majesté and I will have you thrown into the dungeons for your disrespect to the throne 😤

↪ carlossainz55 pretty sure your brother is the one who can do that...

↪ user does monaco even have dungeons?

redbullracing has added to their story

seen by maxverstappen1, christianhorner, schecoperez and 182,974 others

77,592 likes

mv01updates max post-monaco gp with the crown prince of monaco, his serene highness charles leclerc 😍

view comments

user for some reason these pictures make me feel like i'm 5 years old again and watching my parents be romantic. like i want to scream "get a room" 😂

↪ user not a single unique experience 💀

user ayo 🤨 the helmet pics...

↪ user i stg i've seen pictures of drivers with their actual wives that had less tension

user just kiss already 😩😩😩

liked by hshcrownprincecharles, maxverstappen1, hshprincesspascale, and 8,491,293 others

tagged: hshcrownprincecharles, maxverstappen1

palaisprincierdemonaco La Famille Princière est heureuse d'annoncer les fiançailles du Prince Héréditaire Charles Marc Hervé Perceval Leclerc et Max Emilian Verstappen, avec l'accord de S.A.S. le Prince Lorenzo.

The Princely Family is happy to announce the engagement of Crown Prince Charles Marc Hervé Perceval Leclerc and Max Emilian Verstappen, with the approval of HSH Prince Lorenzo.

view comments

user i??? what??? what happened to hello??? how are you??? my name is???

↪ user fr i didn't even know max was dating someone lmao

user damn at least we know why they were so touchy at the grand prix now 😂

hshprincelorenzo Félicitations!

user the hAND ON THE THIGH. THE SMILE ON THEIR FACES. I AM UNWELL.

↪ user ALL OF US ARE UNWELL

landonorris does this mean that max gets a title? if so, not fair 😒

↪ pierregasly yeah hshcrownprincecharles, can you knight me or something?

↪ maxverstappen1 go find your own royalty to marry 🙄

↪ landonorris does lewis count? like if i marry him will i become sir lando norris 🤔

↪ sebastianvettel i've asked, and no it does not work like that unfortunately

liked by victoriaverstappen, redbullracing, maxverstappen1 and 912,392 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

gq Presenting our July cover star, Max Verstappen.

The Formula 1 driver, best known for dominating his sport and more recently his engagement with Monaco's beloved Crown Prince Charles, sits down with GQ to discuss what exactly goes on in a two-time world champion's mind.

Verstappen offers insight into the ongoing season, the surprising way the sport helped bring him and his fiancé together, and the pressures of marrying into royalty, especially as part of a same-sex couple.

Read the July cover story at the link in bio.

liked by maxverstappen1, hshprincesspascale, hshdukearthur and 4,283,120 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

hshcrownprincecharles There are many words that can be used to describe love, but you will always be my truest definition 🤍

view comments

hshcrownprincecharles p.s. thank you hshdukearthur for catching the moments just before i proposed on camera 😘

maxverstappen1 Charlie, I can tell you I love you in four languages, and it will never encompass everything I feel for you. Je t'aime, ik houd van je, ich liebe dich, I love you. Thank you for making me the happiest man in the world ❤️

user crying screaming throwing up #relationshipgoals

hshprincesspascale Je suis très contente pour toi, mon cœur. maxverstappen1, bienvenue à la famille! [ i'm so happy for you, my heart. max, welcome to the family! ]

user so if i learn how to drive cars very fast does that mean that i get to marry a prince as well??? if so sign me up 👀

↪ landonorris you also need to be one lucky bastard, otherwise i'd also be on the cover of gq right now

↪ gq maybe next year?

↪ alex_albon he wishes 😂

↪ hshcrownprincecharles first figure out how to flirt, lando norizz 😜

↪ landonorris if max can do it so can i

↪ maxverstappen1 please 🙄 i’ve been watching you make a fool of yourself in front of carlos for five years now

↪ landonorris i hate all of you 😃

↪ hshcrownprincecharles one less place to pay for at the wedding 🤷‍♂️

likes and reblogs are appreciated!

masterlist

[a-stars-art-blog]

Shitposts + serious WIP (?) comic

2nd shitpost inspired by @euporie-art ‘s tags on one of my other shitposts lmao

Tangent about the jail scene here ⬇️⬇️⬇️

It’s been rattling in my brain whyyyy Barok faces away from Albert in this scene

It’s an obviously deliberate decision so it got me thinking. Now unless someone already did an amazing analysis about this, please ignore this so I don’t look stupid and send me it instead fjskakak

TL;DR exactly what the comic said

Highly doubt Barok was so upset at Albert as to not face him (at least not too much). He DID go visit him actually, which is something Albert didn’t even predict. (Take that as you will). Barok could still be upset with Albert but I don’t see him as the type to turn his back to him like this.

My initial thought could be that Barok didn’t want Albert to see how grumpy and gloomy he’s become but I figured since he knew they were gonna see each other soon anyways, there’d be no reason to avoid it (unless he wanted to avoid a barrage of questions/concerns from Albert)

It’s like,,,what possible reason could there be that doesn’t make you think “well they were about to see each other in court in, like, less then 24 hours so what was the point?”

That’s when my thought train decided to go away from “Barok personal self-loathing” reason to “Barok personal something else” reason

Why would Barok not want to look at someone he considers a friend, especially one in a tough situation? Maybe, I thought, bc it would be to painful for him

When they were in uni, they probably had high hopes for each other. To expect the other to do great things, be great people, be famous. Imagine 10 years later you find out your buddy is in JAIL??? That’s probably very heartbreaking. I wouldn’t blame him for not wanting to see someone he holds in high regards in a cell. But he’s still gonna be a good friend and visit him anyways <3

Okay another thought that JUST popped into my head!! Barok not wanting Albert’s image of him to change just yet.

Up until just recently, Albert had nothing but positive and nice things to say about Barok. He hadn’t talked to him in YEARS so his image of Barok is still of “the little darling”/varsity days.

Albert was probably the only person closely connected to Barok that still held that image. And Barok probably knew that. I think it’d be incredibly tragic if Barok wanted someone to still believe in him. To have someone who still saw him as nothing but good and hopeful. A bright man with a bright future. Albert seeing his face and seeing that brightness gone away would probably make him understand something’s gone horribly wrong.

Of course, them seeing each other is inevitable but Barok prolonging it is still a painful thought. The fact Barok prolonged their face to face meeting at all is really sad :(((

But bright side is that Albert never commented (initially) on his appearance. Just his mean behavior lol and I actually really really appreciate how their friendship was never really put into question. They never had a conversation where they were like “hey you’re scary now” or “hey I’m scary now” “we should probably stop being friends” they’re both fucked up <3 but it’s still fun to imagine that “what if”

Anyways all this to say that Barok cares so much about Albert that even his actions that look cold and heartless, actually come from a deep place of love and respect holy shit????

That or he’s just a tsundere

[alllgator-blood]

Okay I promise my next post will be the angst comic part 4 but FIRST. THE ONE AND ONLY THING I SHIP

LITERALLY THE SECOND PERSON WHO GUESSED THE PAIRING GOT IT CORRECT??? THAT WAS FAST. This is a situation where I have to go "okay hear me out" because it makes 0 sense to anyone but me. This is really long and very dependent on my au comic nobody but me has read, but the TL;DR is:

I feel like they'd be a good pairing because shamura loves to learn but doesn't care about material goods, and mystic seller is used to all gods talking to them only BECAUSE they offer material goods. So when somebody actually wanted to know about *them* personally and what it's like to be a weird angel thing, the two established a bond. Also they're both agender and most likely asexual AND don't seem to be socially aware despite being ancient wise beings that know seemingly everything, so they understood each other like instantly.

I have a lot of sketches of them hanging out but here's a shitpost sketch thing I made AAAAAGES ago

Okay so from an in-game standpoint, mystic seller pops up to tell you how the post-game works with purgatory and all that, and introduces the purged bosses. Really ratau could've done that as the established Tutorial Guy, or even narinder but there IS the chance that you killed both of them (lol) so mystic seller is the unkillable, all-knowing angel that shows up to say "you suck at killing people. The bishops are trapped in purgatory, you know. You should probably do something about that".

But from like a CHARACTER standpoint what do they stand to gain? They're not even from your dimension so why should they care, they're just here for your god tears? From the dialogue about the bishops we can see that they don't really give a shit about any of them, EXCEPT! SHAMURA? Mystic seller doesn't feel emotions like "our kind" does but one of the only times they do, it's to say it's a shame what happened to shamura. They also say they didn't barter with them much, because they "needed little".

SO THAT HAD ME THINKING. My au comic (which is hundreds of sketched panels and the full thing will never see the light of day unless I post it unfinished. Eugh) is about shamura going around chronicling everything they witnessed during the time they were alive, and they notice everyone is like...selfish. Trying to be the last god standing. Really obsessed with trinkets and charms, so some of the gods just go around harvesting relics from the other gods and using their powers to survive a little longer. Shamura has visions of the future of siblings they don't know they have yet, so they try to be friendly with the rest of the pantheon to form a family and it always bites them in the ass, so they have to kill them.

Eventually they end up with all these fuckin god tears and they're thinking "what do I even do with these? Nobody wants them and everyone has them", and BOOM. MYSTIC SELLER JUMPSCARE. They do the whole introduction where they say they have loot in exchange for god tears, shamura just drops off the tears and is like "I don't care about trinkets, bye" and the seller is like. What Thy Fuck. Because every other god is pretty adamant on getting something good in exchange for the tears. So they call them back and ask if there's ANYTHING at all they want. And shamura, being the self-proclaimed wisdom god, just asks the seller to talk about themself for a while, who's just like okkaaayyy?? Nobody else ever asked what it's like to be a bizarre circle headed angelic creature that collects magical bits and pieces, but shamura LOVES to learn, and the two bonded that way. Shamura would bring the mystic seller god tears, the seller would tell them a story, they'd write it down to put in their archives and the conversations eventually got more personal when the stories started to run out. They both realized they don't understand how other people work, but they knew how *each other* worked so they could kinda learn how to function as normal people with each other's observations.

When I say I ship them I mostly mean like a QPP situation because I think they'd be good partners in the most autistic asexual way possible, where they don't make out sloppy style or outright say "I love you", but they have an understanding of one another that doesn't apply to anyone else really. They don't have to rely on conventional relationship stuff to know the other one cares deeply for them in the most nonverbal, oddly specific way possible. I know shamura's the smart one but I really feel like that extends to everything except understanding how people work, hence all the stuff that happened with narinder and the rest of the family. So finding someone else outside the pantheon who is quite literally inhuman, otherworldly, genderless and uninterested in Carnal Desire would definitely make them feel the closest thing to romantic love that they can. Also, since mystic seller lets the gods name them, shamura named them "sunshine" after hearing one of their followers singing that "you are my sunshine" song to the person they loved the most. I always liked how shamura has their little moon crown and the mystic seller is depicted as the sun in some of the art? They go together well is what I'm saying and I'm kinda surprised nobody has done anything of them yet.

I WILL SAY I have angst planned for them once I do the introductory comics, it has to do with how narinder's imprisonment happened literally right in front of where mystic seller sets up shop, so canonically it's safe to assume they watched shamura get lobotomized in real time :')

But for now...I must go back to kallamar angst cause I've been putting off posting this part. It gets very mentally ill very quickly so I needed to balance it out with fluff......

[kimbapisnotsushi]

hey all, it's sou. a lot of you usually follow me for my haikyuu!! content since i started posting in 2021, and i really appreciate that! (especially since i shitpost about several other series, ha.) it's been great having you guys here, and i've felt so much support and love from so many of you. i love the space that i've cultivated for myself and the people who love my work, and it's one of the hobbies that's made me happiest over the past four years. but i know i haven't been keeping up with that part for the last year or so—and for good reason, as i'm sure many of you are aware.

i know a lot of us are doing what we can to help gaza, but sometimes donating, sharing, calling and emailing reps, and other actions don't feel like enough—especially when israel's just broken the ceasefire that had made so many hopeful it would end. it's absolutely devastating and i know it feels like there's very little we can do at this point. i'm not willing to give up just yet, though, so here's the deal:

Donation Rules ● Donate to any Palestinian's fundraiser directly or to any credible relief organization (<- some active ones provided, if you don't have ones you already have in mind) and DM me a screenshot of the receipt to request a fic! The donations are as follows: ● $5: Fic of 1500 words minimum ($.0033 per word) ● $10: Fic of 5000 words minimum ($.0020 per word) ● $15: Fic of 8000 words minimum ($.0019 per word) ● (I'm using USD because that's where I'm from—if you're willing from anywhere else in the world, then please partake! I know the exchange can be a bitch, so donating to organizations that your country has for the cause or ones that take all currencies in similar amounts work as well) ● If you only have the means to donate less than $5 or are only capable of reblogging fundraisers, info, educating yourself, emailing/calling, and other such actions to help, then you can still join! DM me the receipt screenshot (in the case of a donation) or send me a 🍉 to let me know that you're supporting in other ways (even reblogging this post counts!), and you can request a drabble or headcanons list of any sort!

Fic Request Rules ● List of series/fandoms I can write for is in the tags ● If you'd like a comprehensive list of things I've read/are reading, check here to see if they match anything you like! I'm also willing to write for anything on that list, i just figured a lot of them aren't series that people would read fics for ● Customizable means you can choose any prompt/au, ship (reader inserts as well), NSFW (only if you're 18+) or SFW, etc. within my comfort zone. I'll write for any and every character, no matter how small they are :) ● I'm NOT comfortable writing things like incest, underage sex scenes, inappropriate/illegal relationships between a character considered a minor and an adult, or excessive violence and gore. If you're ever unsure of what would cross my lines, we can absolutely talk about it!

I understand that I don't have much of a rep in other fandoms aside from Haikyuu!!, so here are some samples of WIPs on this doc. you can also look through my tag #sou writes stuff or my ao3 (of which please only pay attention to the most recent works, as that's how i write like the most right now)! If you like what you read, I'll write just like that for any request :)

PSA I am ONE SINGLE PERSON on top of all this. It may take a while, especially with the longer fics, but I do promise to get through every request I get. I'm aware I'm asking for a lot of trust and patience, and I appreciate all of it.

if you've read this through to the end, thank you, seriously. We're not alone in this. Let's aim for a better world.

[palinecrosis]

i dont understand why some people have a problem with creating fanon versions of characters who have very little screen time — whether it’s shitposts or fanfiction writing — namely with dbh.

like yeah; if it’s a character with a whole fleshed out arc and personality (let’s say connor or hank, which are actually heavily mischaracterized by the fandom) hank is not just a grumpy drunk. he’s depressed, he’s smart as fuck, top guy in his department who lost all hope after his son died and then found it again (depending on what pathway you take, obviously). same thing with connor, he’s not a “puppy coded” meek guy. he’s manipulative and tactical, snarky as hell and very deeply troubled whether you play him as a machine or a deviant.

if it’s that, then yeah! im a fucking hater of that too. you need to actually understand and critically think about the media you consume.

but when its characters like rk900 or tina? let people have fun dude. yeah we only see her in one scene but if someone wants her to be gavin’s funny best friend who he has workplace gossip with then why the fuck not? she has no character — so people are allowed to just make one up.

and rk900? he only exists in two endings. for THREE FUCKING SECONDS. so who gives a shit? what’s the point in being in fandom spaces if you can’t have headcanons or get creative with your writing ideas. just let people have fun man.

[yourlocalbadgerscales]

here i am, feeling like the very last drops of an ink pen…

hello, and welcome to my blog <3

MY INTRO POST IS CURRENTLY BEING COMPLETELY CHANGED SO IM SORRY FOR HOW MESSY IT IS LOL

trigger warnings before you continue reading: mention of depression, all caps (i often type in all caps), swearwords

My name is Jaimiee! <3

Other names I go by are Alfie and Aspen (currently considering Rot and Jules as well), but you’ll mostly see people calling me Jaimiee on here, or nicknames such as Jam and James.

I am a teen, as in a M-I-N-O-R, so keep that in mind while interacting with me and my posts!

I am nonbinary and I use they/them pronouns atm. I don’t mind y’all using gendered words such as “bro”, “dude” and “girl” when talking to me, those words are in my daily vocabulary so 🤷

Lmk if *you* don’t want me to use gendered words when talking to or about *you* 🙏 I’ll try to keep it in mind at all times, but just a heads up, my memory is the WORST! So please have patience with me if I occasionally forget :3

Born to be a gay twink, forced to be a genderless entity on The Woman Yearner Lover Spectrum™️… I’m on multiple spectrums actually, neurospicy as heck, acespec and a wee bit traumatised and mentally ill and messed up in general tbh

This blog is a safe space for everybody except:

TERFs (Trans Exclusive Radical Feminists)

Queerphobes (This includes exclusionists**)

Zoophiles

”MAPs” (“MAP” stands for “Minor Attracted Person” aka pedophile)

Racists

Nazis

Ableists

Cheaters

Kanye West supporters

Donald Trump supporters

Elon Musk supporters

Gracie Abrams supporters

**The only ‘sexualities’ I exclude are zoophilia and pedophilia — and they’re not even sexualities, so 🤷 If you are a zoophile or pedophile or you support them, with all due disrespect: see yourself out. I accept and support every sexuality, romantic orientation and gender identity regardless of if I understand it or not, but I draw the line at the point where it’s harmful to others.

Now that we have all that out of the way, let’s move on to the good stuff, shall we?

Main fandoms I’m in**:

Stranger Things 💙💛

Heartstopper (both the tv series and the comics)

The Marauders & Co

Harry Potter

Arcane

** The links above lead to separate posts I’ve made listing my favourite ships and characters etc. in each fandom.

I’m a multishipper and have so insanely many ships to keep track of (ugh), but here are some honourable mentions that just make sense to me: Carulia, Firekeeper, Autumnflower, Hestiya, Bleville, Ronuna, Sunkiller, Sunrosekiller… to be continued ig lmao

What to expect from my blog:

Sleep deprived shitposting

Regular shitposting

Gay yearning

A shit ton of posts about whatever I’m hyperfixating on atm (my poor lil moots can confirm 🥲)

Gay shit

Gay shit

Fandom shit (microfics, fanart, headcannons etc.)

Gay shit

Original poetry

Reblogs of whatever I find important or funny

Following this blog = signing up for having your dash filled with yapping sessions between me and my beloved moots btw. You have been warned. If you want to become one of those beloved moots, don’t hesitate to reach out to me btw, I love talking to new people on here :3

I’ll sometimes vent about my mental health and fucked up family, but I’ll make sure to tag my vent posts correctly and put warnings in the beginning!

Jaimiee’s music

Jaimiee’s sideblogs

"Sorry is all I am, & all I know is how to be sorry in silence.”

— yourlocalbadgerscales

My tumblr family:

My parent @meatybunger

My child @homocidalpotat

My child in law @names-confuse-me

My other child @dragonfanplaugedr

My platonic partners @junos-ocean-galaxy (husband 💅💍), @ravensncrowsx, @here-am-i-sitting-in-a-tin-can, @itwasaseven7 amd @yourfavvvintj

They’re not my irl family and partners btw haha

Shoutout to @atokirina-tsuki, the first person to follow me that day in June 2024! And to @homocidalpotat for always being there for me :3

AND TO @scarbleu FOR MAKING SURE I CAN WATCH NETFLIX AHAHAH I LOVE YOUUU <333

Tags I will be using are #jamstag (for literally everything I post) and #jam bleeds ink (for poetry).

I’ll try my best to act cheerful and happy on here at all times, my goal in life and on Tumblr is to make as many people as possible feel as safe as possible with me. I love recieving asks or dms, whether it’s from my mutuals or someone else, so go ahead and talk to me or tag me in stuff and whatnot! But I can’t guarantee that I’ll always have the strength to reply to stuff like that. Just know I’m not ignoring anyone, and I’ll reply to everything when I have the time and energy!

And guys, please remember that I’m always willing to chat with new people! No matter if you’re below or above 18 years old you can reach out, as long as you keep it SFW :)

If you have any questions about anything, feel free to dm me or send an ask my way!

1:35

What’s been playing in Jaimiee’s headphones lately:

[lifemod17]

@sillycartoonhozier @shortqueershakespeare @justjeansmain all tagged me in such sweet posts I'm going to cry brb 😭💛

Woe appreciation post be upon ye!!!

favorite writer: @pastlivesxpastlie @daydreaming-in-letters @padfootagain @lovenliterature <- yes, you! your poems are so beautiful okay?? all super talented and super kind souls, i have no choice but to stan!!!

favorite artist: @a-s-levynn @effervescent-fool @sillycartoonhozier @thatjeanguy @elkkiel @fivewholeminutes eternally grateful for all of the wonderful art that you share with us 🙏

favorite person in general: @tonguetyd loml frfr guys idk what to tell you, and after all she is the reason why i came back here on tumblr. i followed her to another platform no questions asked. what can i say, i'm a simp 💛❤️

favorite random people: @whataboutyouisamascot @polteergeistt @foundationsofdecay @songbirds-sweet @glitterghost @hysteriamachines @hozierawakening @raspbrrytea @dearreaders-things @doperunawaybarbarian always a joy to see these people on my dash/notes 🥰

favorite shitposter: @deprivedmusicaljunkie and @bubacorn top tier shitposters 😍

favorite act done by someone: valentine's day 2024, i had only been in the Sleep Token fandom for a few months and didn't really know anybody except Drift. (because of timezone differences) i had woken up to two asks in my inbox: one was of @melit0n who had drawn me pink tulips and put my real first name on the little tag on the flowers, which is extra dear to me because only few people call me that name and when they do, it warms my heart. the other was @fivewholeminutes who drew me the cutest litol guy tripping as a reference to 'Fall For Me' which is one of my all time favorite song. it meant the world to me because i was a nobody at the time, and here were these two kind folks who thought i was worthy of spending some time and effort to dedicate a drawing to 🥺

someone who just gives good vibes: @loveinthemindpalace the goodest of all vibes!!! such a sweet soul!!!

favorite url: @lesbeansoups that is just such a fun URL you cannot tell me otherwise!

someone i think is nice irl: @littlequeenofthemangoes i KNOW she's nice IRL, and so very precious!!

someone i’d eat 28 chilies for: @daredevils-advocate i would put all 28 of those chilis and make it into a nice sambal 💛✨

someone who listens to my yaps and yap posts: @shortqueershakespeare @shatterthefragments @tonguetyd no IRL yapping or online yapping gets ignored by them <3 also Patch literally said the other day he goes through my blog even if he doesn't understand what's happening whenever i yell about ST god bless

favorite reblogger: @moonchild-in-blue i always say it and i still mean it: i never want to live in a world without Darya's tags (not even solely on mine, in everyone's posts she reblogs! it's the best) 🌻🐞🐞🌷

sigma: BAL- nope i'm sorry wrong blog to continue that joke. @neonflavoredbees do not fight me on this okay ily and my answer is final

no pressure at all if you wanna do this too, this is purely just me wanting to spread some love. happy timezones to all 🙏💛

[lonelyroommp3]

pls what's the zephy saga (if you don't mind) i love fandom drama

okay gather round the fireplace kids it's zephy retelling time. i feel like i do this on a practically annual basis at this point. it's tradition

anyway first i must set the scene. around christmas 2012, tom hooper's star studded cinematic adaptation of the iconic musical les misérables, itself based on victor hugo's magnum opus, was released. within a few months, the film and its healthy sized gaggle of shippable twinks (including, of course, patron saint of fujoism george blagden) would gain enormous popularity on tumblr, causing the fandom to explode in size and leading to other more storied dramas like the great enjonine war of spring/summer 2013. this is not a story about the fandom in that era of expansion.

prior to that, the tumblr les mis fandom was essentially divided into two, maybe three if you squint, camps, who basically only interacted - as far as i'm aware - to beef with each other. it was, in the grand scheme of things, a very small fandom even before you divided it, so within the camps it was very much an everybody knows everybody kind of deal. on one side, you had people who took things like canon era historical research very seriously, very much favoured the book over the musical, had mostly moved here from places like livejournal and forums, skewed older, had their own insane drama (crow!jehan cult anon come back to me my love...) but aren't really a part of this story. on the other side you had a younger (almost exclusively teenage, maybe some of them were early 20s at the time) cohort who took things altogether less seriously, were more appreciative of the musical, favoured modern aus and shitposts over serious meta, etc etc. they were called the les mis jokers and when i tell you i literally made my account on here after months of lurking because i wanted to Be a les mis joker. i went about this in a sane way compared to the protagonist of this story

(the kind of third clique of fans were people who were into the musical more than the book but took themselves more seriously than the les mis jokers. they do not matter in this story)

anyway, i joined tumblr in late november 2012, the movie came out christmas 2012, ALSO around christmas 2012 another new aspiring les mis joker entered the ring. this was zephy. zephy was a little bit older than most of the people on this side of the fandom (25 or 27 depending on what post you read. #subtleforeshadowing), married, pregnant, and (very very cool thing to be in the eyes of any teenager obsessed with les misérables) french. although she moved to new york city mere days after making her account. not only this, but she came in and just immediately had the tumblr way of speaking down pat, knew all the blogs to follow, seemed to come in already knowledgeable in les mis joker injokes (lurking without an account was, as my own story shows, a completely normal thing to do on here at the time, so this didn't raise any alarm bells), immediately integrated herself in with this side of the fandom with absolute ease and became a very beloved and popular blogger very quickly

sadly, all was not plain sailing for zephy. as her blogging career continued, over the first few months of 2013 her personal life became marred by a sequence of increasingly horrible events. in rough order going by the eventual callout post: her sister attempted suicide, she miscarried her twins, she separated from her husband, her husband then took his own life, she was fired from her job, became estranged from her sister, and THEN (remember we're in spring 2013 by now) her entire family were present at the boston marathon when the bombing occurred. zephy was, understandably given all she'd been going through, very very suicidal herself, and-- WAIT! what's this? it's PEYTON BEACHDEATH WITH A STEEL CHAIR

that's right, peyton beachdeath was in (or adjacent to? i'll be honest i don't remember this entirely. never followed him) the les mis fandom at the time, and was alerted to the many concerning posts and suicide notes zephy was posting. "alright," thinks peyton beachdeath, "i'm going to go back through zephy's blog archive and see what contact information i can find so i can get in touch, maybe get this really vulnerable and distressed woman some help and prevent her from harming herself." a genuinely kindhearted gesture!

however. it turned out that when you exposed yourself to zephy's entire blog history in one sitting... things stopped making sense very rapidly. i'll let the artist formerly known as lalondes' findings speak for themselves here

(yes, for those who clicked, zephy's url was felixtholomyes, aka fantine's dirtbag ex who deceived, betrayed, and abandoned her. i have never figured out if this was a mere coincidence in the post-movie scramble for the last remaining canon urls or if zephy was playing us like a fiddle all along with that one)

tl;dr for those who cba reading the entire callout - various crucial things did not add up in zephy's lore, including but not limited to inconsistencies in her age, her supposed email address, and even the number of children she was supposedly pregnant with (eta: other zephy contemporaries have said they remember her posting when she found out she was expecting twins as opposed to just one baby but she just deleted the post, hence why peyton couldn't find it). she also managed to pull off an intercontinental house move and start a new job while obsessively keeping up her brand new les mis fandom blog (peyton hypothesises, and i have to agree, that this move was so whoever was behind the zephy account could post more easily in their own time zone after realising that their initial ploy to be Very Interesting And French was going to be a logistical nightmare)

essentially - at the very least, several key facets of zephy's life story were fabricated. at worst, zephy did not exist whatsoever

after the callout post, zephy deactivated, and to this day i don't know that anybody has figured out who she was. a few people at the time posted that they had theories but nobody (much to my consternation as a certified nosy bitch) shared them with me, and i have no leads other than peyton's aforementioned theory about what time zone they probably lived in. and basically as soon as this had happened the fandom experienced its aforementioned exponential growth and subsequent world war thrE/É so everyone rapidly forgot about it anyway in favour of our new hobby (queer erasure slapfights)

the detail that really vexes and haunts me is zephy posted selfies - they were all the grainy mac photobooth gpoys we were all taking at the time, they were clearly of a person none of us had seen before (EVERYONEEEE was posting face on main in 2012/13 tumblr fandom), so who knows if this was the actual face of zephy & we were really being infiltrated by a whole new face in the fandom, OR it was an extremely elaborate and well done catfishing ruse. idk if anybody ever reverse image searched or even had the thought or opportunity to do so before the blog vanished from existence.

anyway. that's the zephy story. if you were around at the time and have theories i still want to know them 12 (TWELVE) years later. i got my laptop out at midnight for this

[approximateknowledge]

beater syndrome or: "why people misunderstand vriska and kirito for the same reason"

so a little while ago i made a random shitpost that ended me up with this image

^cursed entity

and it's come back to haunt me with ungogly revelations which i will now share because i have to it feels important

context: originally i was just gonna make a post about kirito, explaining how people misunderstand the character and *why* (and why it's completely understandable); but then i realised there was a real pattern here and the subconscious connection that led to the above cursed image suddenly made sense in my mind

so here it is:

the reason kirito gets mischaracterised so often has entirely to do with the combination of:

a) most people only having watched the aincrad arc (&lt;;keyword watched),

and

b) the fact the anime gives a twisted image of the characters due to the fact the internal dialogues from the light novel get cut out completely

the end result of this is that when most people talk about "kirito", they're actually talking about "the beater", and those are crucially *not the same*!

the "beater" is a *role*, and a very specific one at that; it's what happens when you try to "own up" to accusations and unreasonable expectations (internal or external) to such an extent you're always playing the same self-destructive part, and because it's fundamentally a defense mechanism you just get stuck in it until things change drastically enough it finally feels safe to stop playing that horrible role and try to remember who you really are, after everything's over

that's what's happening here; when people say a character is "a kirito" they're actually referring to the beater, and the reason those characters suck ass is because they unironically use what's actually a coping mechanism in a horrible situation for a character's actual personality; of course it sucks! because they're doing it wrong!

it's about trying to convince yourself being a loner destructive scapegoat is "cool" despite always having a nagging insecurity it might just not be, but given the circumstances you're in too deep and so the sunk cost fallacy compels you to keep going

it's not *actually* cool; if anything it's depressing

now i think it's becoming obvious how all of this applies to vriska as well, but there's one crucial difference: the death game never actually *ends* for vriska serket; even now in post-canon she's arguably the *only* character who seems to still be playing sgrub, or maybe she never even stopped flarping

except for one version of her. for (vriska) the game did finally end. and they're the same

the beater dies when the game ends, and we see it happen to both of them

(also they're both transfem i didn't know how to fit that in but they are and that's a fact)

[brisquad-unit-4402]

technical guide and example scenario to kissing with a tongue piercing

this started as a shitpost style warmup/hc and then spiraled into a fic which spiraled into a style experiment. p much everything is deliberate except for the lowercase because i don’t believe in capitalization on my phone. now here’s a pretentious makeout scene where neither reader nor claude get the big 4k 120fps big picture at all

tags: gender neutral reader, pre-relationship, requited unrequited pining, oral fixation, making out, implied sexual/suggestive content, yeah i guess claude comes across as a sub here idk i didn’t really consider those dynamics much for this fic but if that means something to you then power to you

⚠ claude and reader jokingly call each other whores

⚠ implied piercing kink, hand/mouth play

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

reader: what’s it like to make out with a tongue piercing

claude: huh

good?? question??? he isn’t a prude but he doesn’t kiss and tell either. that shit stays locked up. he’s a private person no matter how much he likes the one asking questions. unfortunately

claude: why do you ask?

but he does like the person asking the questions. regret courses through him the second he says it aloud.

reader: just curious

reader: it’s just a stud so sometimes i forget you have one but when you’re kissing it’s hard to not notice isn’t it

claude: it could be

reader: can you stick your tongue out?

claude: [he does so]

regret! regret! regret! it’s turned to a flood washing over his thoughts. he chides himself. why are you so obedient, claude, why are you so eager to please, and for the love of god quit thinking like that before you get any ideas!

great. now there’s a nasty little thing called hope twisting through his brain and making it feel emptier than usual.

reader: i guess you’d have to be pretty into it to feel it

claude: [closes his mouth.] i guess

reader: so what’s it like?

reader: kissing, i mean

claude: that’s just your lips so it’s whatever

reader: no, dummy, i mean with tongue

claude: it’s just making out

claude: even i forget it’s there

reader: there’s no difference at all?

claude: woah woah woah woah i didn’t say that

reader: so you do notice it?

claude: well i don't but other people do

reader: is it good?

claude: i hope

claude: i mean

claude: well i don't think it's bad and no one's told me it's bad and i'm not bad [he thinks]

claude: so it's probably good. but i wouldn't know

reader: i should have guessed

claude: [a little.] yeah

claude: i mean

claude: yeah

he feels like he went outside in only boxers and got roped into an all-day affair. admitting things is already too much exposure. there’s so much he wants to say but it’ll take up all the space, ruin the mood. true feelings tend to come out clumsy according to claude.

the shred of hope lingers.

claude: i guess

claude: it’s smooth?

claude: because it’s so small?

claude: and the metal is just like that?

reader: [understanding, theorization]

claude: if it was a hoop it would be different

claude: but it’s not

claude: [unelegantly.] so it’s not

reader: i’m going to ask something stupid

claude: [gets a grip.] hey, i’m stupid

reader: no you aren’t

reader: i wonder what it feels like

claude: is this the question

reader: now it is

reader: can i try?

claude: getting a tongue piercing?

reader: no, kissing you

claude: [a brief sound]

claude: me?

reader: yeah

reader: i want to know how it feels

reader: i won’t be weird i promise

reader: and if not that’s cool

reader: i shouldn’t have brought it up i don’t want to make you feel weird or anything

reader: but i’m

reader: really curious

this is a bad time for his mouth to go dry. claude presses his lips together, only to pry them apart after remembering your request. he needs a swift bonk to the head. cold shower. 50,000 years of solitude. fuck he needs to stop thinking about this.

or keep thinking about this. it’s the best chance he’s got. it hurts his heart thinking about it. it’s indulgence. he can’t let himself pretend but he can’t let go of it either

claude: how are we doing this

reader: i guess we could try kissing first

claude: like frenching or

reader: lips first?

claude: oh right right

aaaaaaaaaa.

he feels giddy and heartbroken. and anxious. and it’s over before he really figured it out

claude: wait

why are lips so malleable? why do the tiniest presses make him feel so? so? giddy-heartbroken-anxious-dirty. this is out of order. friends don’t kiss friends with tension like this. but they are now.

reader: we forgot about the piercing

claude: right

reader: i guess that was a warmup. ha-ha

claude: yeah

claude: here goes nothing

reader: you’re such a dork—

he knows. he could always use the reminder. not now though. instead he refamiliarizes himself with lip on lip, slightly ajar, then rising. a gap between for hot breath to escape. the air grazes the slope of his cheek.

reader: mmh—

anxiety and dirtiness outweigh the other two, and the latter more than the former. he’s kissed before. reader has too. it doesn’t have to mean anything. it doesn’t have to mean anything. he repeats the thought but the message gets lost along the way.

claude: —.

reader nips so claude opens more. predictably so. and traitorously fervent. doesn’t mean nothing. his heart begs for some honesty but he can’t speak, mouth’s a little busy at the moment, not a great time to talk about feelings and whatever. he’d like to but, you know, clumsy words

clumsy tongues

the one over the bite, he means; warmth follows the lick at the tip of your tongue and down his throat and straight to his belly

claude:

you make yourself right at home. the breath is interrupted before it grazes his cheek because your hands rest there instead. claude follows your movements, shadowing as you explore, marking the depths before lulling at the entrance

reader: stay still

claude:

reader:

dammit, obedience, like a subservient dog. trembling like one while reader reenters. he nearly forgot the whole reason they were doing this until it prodded at the soft tip of his tongue.

claude: []

he’d nearly ignored the instruction. he tries not to think of it as a command, not while you trail up his tongue. little swirls that set him at ease and on fire. down onto the central. the answer at the top of the stud.

do NOT hit teeth, claude clawmark. do not hit teeth. he knows how it’s done but it’s so over if he messes up with you. fuck, this is wrong. you can’t be this hot and claude is so going to hell after this.

the metal preserves body heat but it tends to feel cooler to unfamiliar tongues. it’s important to be gentle with this. he licks low and languid, beginning a rhythm. simple circles. shouldn’t be difficult for you to predict the bead. god. what is his life

his laps are simple enough to pick up on. you lay your tongue on his in different positions to feel the stud. at this point claude’s done trying to analyze. his notes are minimal: sometimes you’re flat on his and that’s a strange feeling. the tip seems to have no effect on you, but it hits the space usually glossed over because of the metal so that’s exciting. when you press the sensitive side to the stud, you twitch back, and claude’s urge to chase rears its head.

reader: .

the challenge is taken. and now that the rhythm’s established claude speeds up. the sensation helps filter out the thought that this is an error. not on your part, of course, you’re just curious. that’s exactly why he should have denied: this is never going to happen again and he’s never going to admit how tragic that is.

but you nudge the piercing more, and the pressure makes his heart lurch.

he tilts your chin to his in a moment of surrender.

you play him like a damn instrument. his throat is full of lava boiling over with your touch, each hungrier than the last. the shivers just give you more openings to eat him up

claude: [needs to breathe.] hold on

reader: nngh?

claude: gotta

claude: gotta breathe

claude: christ,

claude: you’re shameless

reader: [between kisses at the corner of claude’s mouth.] yeah, i’m the whore here,

reader: said the guy with a tongue piercing

claude: hey since when are tongue piercings a whore thing

reader: since you kissed me like one

he’d been extremely polite, what the hell. at least, polite compared to what he really wants. still. you’re the one kissing me even when we aren’t using tongue, he thinks. the emotion behind it is unrecognizable.

yet you hum with muffled laughter as you kiss him. for not the first time it registers that he likes making you smile, even at his expense

he likes you but that’s never been a revelation.

and he quite likes how this feels when he tells his conscience to shut the hell up already. he takes your hand

reader: [with curiosity. you'd call it unrecognizable too]

thoughtlessly he holds it to his lips

claude: this is what it feels like when you touch it

the piercing, indeed, feels smooth on your fingertips as it rolls by the pads. his tongue lingers not far behind. those fingers twitch at the blend of tongue and lip; one of them sweetly curls at the stud. it’s always been easy to forget that the piercing is there but especially now as the plush of his lips closes. open-mouthed kisses become closed, leaving the true motions of his tongue—and the piercing, and the finger coiled beside it—they're obscured.

reader: [does it matter?]

reader: [Do the stage directions matter?]

claude: [looks up]

he quite likes the sight too

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

✧. ┊ masterpost ✧. ┊ kofi