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afatlotofchance · 2 months ago

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I wrote about this book series such a LLOOONNGG time ago... So here's for the reblog, especially since I am currently finally checking the final book (I managed to bought it some times ago after a long search, because I was looking for a specific cover of the French edition).

You know, this series proves an actual point often made about fantasy and sci-fi. Given these genres are for exploring all sorts of possibilities and "what ifs" (despite big media and so-called "pop culture" trying to make you think fantasy and sci-fi are genres sclerosed with archetypes and tropes), there is always going to be one work that ends up hitting your fetish point at one moment or another. Not because the author or creator is into the fetish itself, but because, simply, when you explore the realm of imagination and possibilities, and given human paraphilias are an almost infinite list, it's always bound to cross at one point or another. (You have friggin' paraphilia where people get horny when being buried under insects...)

In this case, Hobb's Soldier Son trilogy (though it might be actually a dozen of books if you live in a country like mine where the translations break the huge books into tinier ones) is very simply a very deep and thorough exploration of a fantasy trope we see pop up from time to time today (and one I particularly love) - fat as a source of energy, leading to weight loss and weight gain corresponding to the use of super-powers. If this book series is the most prominent example in America, I'd say Fatgum from My Hero Academia is a Japanese equivalent.

This is also crossed with the book's very basis of exploring a violent culture clash - as it is the main messages of the fantasy world, about systematic racism, the workings of colonialism and the cycles of conquests and invasions (a whole lot of themes that do not make this series a happy read AT ALL). It is about the main character (from the British Empire-influenced "white colonialist/so-called "superior" "old continent" civilization) being confronted and learning to appreciate the culture of the people he is fighting against - and the bias towards body is thoroughly explored since, as an expy of old England, the protagonist is from a world where everyone must be heavily clothed as well as fit and trim, and he is forced into a different civilization more casual about nudity and who considers fatness as a mark of wealth, power, superiority and desire.

All of this leads to a book series that clearly wasn't written with fetish intentions (when you've been in the fetish business for a long time you can spot works with fetish intentions and works that just happen to be fetish-fuel by accident) but which, due to the author's particular brand of deep worldbuilding-exploration, sounds like a fantasy world made to custom to our "special tastes". In fact, if you don't know about fantasy, Robin Hobb is one of those authors very famous for creating... Here I'm entering in the realm of personal tastes and judgement, but what I call "lore-series". Expansive series which seem designed more to explore a created world or fictional settng rather than have an actual plot. It is one of the good points of Hobb's works, she makes wonderfully complete, complex and fascinating worlds... But her Soldier Son series suffers the most from her two big flaws, in my point of view - no actual "plot" to speak of, and characters being just tools for the narration and exposition-puppets rather than actual characters.

When I tried reading these books under the angle "Let's follow the adventures of X character / Let's get involved in the life of these characters", it quickly became long, tedious, difficult and ultimately unfruitful for me... But when I read them under the angle "Let's read the story of civilizations clashing, of a new world being explored, of magic sytems being revealed to us and of societies being dissected - with the characters just being secondary features you shouldn't get attached to because they are just here to vaguely structure the narrative", it became such a more pleasant and fascinating read!

All of that being said, I do believe Robin Hobb HAS a kink or fetish... But not for fatness. For humiliation and beating down a man.

I have picked up a common point between what the protagonist of this series, and the protagonist of another series of her (the famous Farseer/Royal Assassin series): they both undergo forms of complete breakdown/beatdown and humiliation, both physical and mental, at some point in the story, with specific dominating cruel figures tormenting them the most out of spite. The Assassin's Apprentice segment was about literal physical and mental torture inflicted by an sociopath in a magical martial bootcamp/tiny cult ; the Soldier Son's "breakdown" is a much more passive and social one as it is the self-hatred, constant mockery, familial rejection and social disgust that comes with Nevare's unexplained weight gain and the intense fatphobia he gets due to it... Reading these series side by side, under the kink angle (and there's so much to say about how fantasy has always been used for kinks), I do believe Hobb might have something of a "misery kink" given how she seems to linger and delight as a writer in these specific harsh segments...

The whole part about Nevare's living hell when he starts magically gaining weight and turns into an obese sorcerer against his will is one of the reasons I had a hard time getting through the books at first, because again, a lot of the series is just Nevare being miserable and being rejected and broken down by the society that made him and the people he grew up with. But when considered under the angle of how this is meant to precisely force Nevare to confront the negative and ugly side of the world he grew to serve, and helps the reader explore the bias, norms and discriminations at works in this setting, it becomes more readable.

Especially since right after this long torment, Nevare enters the world of the Specks, where the "fat magic" comes from, where fat is glorified and he finally finds a place where he is understood, fits in and doesn't suffer as much as he did before. So it is more pleasant down the line if you are looking for more positive fat depiction with no fatphobia - though the topics of colonialism, racism, fight for survival, etc, are still going on. It's basically a form of dark fantasy, this book series.

As a normal fantasy reader, The Soldier Son trilogy is one of those "in-between books" that I enjoy without actually recommending to people ; or one of those books that are not my favorites but that still find a place on my shelf. I understand why it was made, it is a fascinating exercise in worldbuilding and a delightful fantasy setting, it has tons of cool concepts and ideas, and I do wish to read more of it... But it is also a book with flaws and problems, one that doesn't actually fit my personal tastes, one that I do not read as one usually does a book, and that is also an exercise in making a character miserable in a beautiful but ultimately dreary and depressing world. I mean, you can't do a "Frontier fantasy" and end up with something actually happy or wholesome. If it was a meal, I would say it is a unique and rich recipe that has to be tasted because you won't find anywhere else - but it clearly is very heavy on the stomach, and not for everyone's liking, so the point is not to enjoy it, just to taste it.

That being said - while this is my opinion as a fantasy enjoyer, my opinion as a kink fiction enjoyer is that this book series, even though quite hard to stomach midway, is a must-read. Because you have an entire society and culture + magic system based around the glorification of fatness, the ways of gaining weight and fatness as power, for two entire books (the first book doesn't talk much about this side of the world, as it explores different concepts - though it does have fatness descriptions and magical weight gain in there too, but rather as secondary points instead of main ones)

So... maybe don't go read it for the characters or the plot, but go check it out for the worldbuilding.

So I found possibly the most wg fetish bait-y book ever. It's For//est Mage by Rob//in Ho//bb. It's a fantasy/western with magic system wherein mages get their magic from food, and store excess magic as fat. When they cast spells, they lose weight, so their body counteracts the weight loss by giving them huge appetites, enhancing their sense of taste, and decreasing their metabolism to the point where they're pretty much constantly gaining weight, even if they fast. I've been listening to the audiobook and I'm only three hours in, but the main character has already gone from a fit soldier to being fat enough that his family don't immediately recognize him (though he has no clue why yet).

It's also written really well, and is surprisingly not particularly fatphobic. The main character faces a lot of fatphobia, but that comes from his culture, which the book is criticizing.

Here's a section from the book where he hasn't fully realized how much weight he's putting on yet, gets mocked for it, and then (unknowingly) uses his magic to break his harasser's leg.

and this is from the scene where he actually looks at himself in the mirror for the first time since the weight gain started.

(sorry for the audio quality, my recording software isn't very good)

Anyway, the audiobook is on youtube, and I'd really recommend it so far.

#reblog #sorry for hijacking the post #i haven't done a kink post in such a WHILE i am so friggin' rusty #it's not even a kink post it's half of a book review hastily written #but oh well one must start somewhere #and there's so much more to say about this book series #which is at the same time an absolutely great thing and yet an absolutely infuriating thing #it is one of those books that screams "i was to be a world guide or an RPG or a history chronicle but I had to become a narrative to be sol #but if I keep blabbering about i'll end up making a post too big for tumblr #which is quite ironic given we have literaly a gainer magic system #i got a similar feeling for early ASOIAF novels or some parts of The Kingkiller Chronicles if you know the vibe #fatness in fantasy #fat lit

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redrobin-detective · 3 years ago

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Ben, Anodites and the Omnitrix

Buckle up kids, I’ve been playing with several headcanons for the last few days and have managed to connect them all to create an overarching whole to explain several inconsistencies throughout the series. I have a big, long rant under the cut but its basically that Ben has Anodite traits in him that make him the only person able to effectively wear the Omnitrix without major consequences and is the reason the watch can’t be removed.

1. The Omnitrix cannot be removed from Ben Okay so I know this is outright disproved by canon but I thumb my nose at it. Not only does it not make sense in story but it takes tension away. In actuality, No One not Max, Ben’s parents, Azmuth or Tetrax would allow a hyperactive, untrained child to run around with the most powerful device in the universe. For Ben’s own safety if nothing else, it would have been removed even if temporarily. Ergo, once the Omnitrix strapped onto him, it became literally impossible to take off. I submit that even if someone chopped off Ben’s arm, the Omnitrix would simply reattach elsewhere. To explain Ben’s hiatus years, I just say he either covered it up and ignored it or even got an watch covering energy blocker we saw in some of the alt-Ben universes. This ups the stakes bc everyone is forced to deal with Ben as a major player, there’s no do overs as far as wielders. If he ever were to go rogue, he would not be stopped by removing the Omnitrix.

2. Ben has Anodite heritage So again, I’m not terribly familiar with AF but I was fascinated by the idea of Ben and Gwen being a quarter energy being. It was interesting that one cousin had abilities and another didn’t. What also intrigued me was this description of Anodite species in general lifted straight from the wiki

Anodites are very free-spirited, and most don't take life as seriously as most humans, to the point that some Anodites disregard the morality of their actions and would rather satisfy their own personal pleasures. They can also be slightly condescending

I remember reading this for the first time and thinking “this doesn’t really fit Gwen’s personality but it sure as hell describes Ben.” Ben is incredibly free-spirited and lives a very energetic and spirited lifestyle. Everything he does is with his whole being and while Ben is, himself very moral and loving, sometimes his arrogance and desensitization get the better of him. Therefore, Ben is has a good bit of Anodite spirit in him. So why haven’t we seen in?

3. The Omnitrix is actively suppressing his Anodite traits and thus saving his life.

We’ve heard and seen demonstrated that one of the Omnitrix’s most basic function is to keep it’s user alive. So if it’s host’s body is actively killing itself due to mix-matched genetics then of course it will suppress it. My theory is Ben’s Anodite powers are too unstable/not suited for his human body. Wiki says Anodites absorb mana from the universe/living things, what if Ben can only absorb his own life force? A fire once lit either burns out or is put out. Activating that side of himself would kill him. That is one of the reasons the Omnitrix while designed to attach to it’s host but be removable, will never come off. Because it knows if it does, it’s host will die which goes against its base programing. Ben and the watch are stuck for life.

4. Ben’s unique status makes him the only person capable of using the Omnitrix

But! All that energy that Ben is creating has to go somewhere! You know that iconic green glow of the Omnitrix transforming and detransforming? What if it’s not really supposed to do that. If Ben was the first and only wielder how do they know what’s normal or not. The Omnitrix is using Ben’s latent Anodite energy to fuel it’s transformations, this relieves pressure of the energy in a controlled manner, acting like a steam release on a tea kettle. But it also powers the Omnitrix.

We have seen multiple knock-off Omnitrix’s over the course of the series. The Nemetrix is one and it was a major plot point that it was draining and mind destroying to high level beings. Even Albedo’s version had it’s own complications and he struggled to manage some of the transformations. The times we see Albedo using it reliably is when he has Ben’s exact genetic signature (IE same genetic human/Anodite heritage) So why was Ben different? Not only is the Omnitrix using that energy to save Ben but it’s using it to fuel itself and not burn out it’s host. Changing your entire identity and perception of reality must be exhausting, no wonder people using the device lose their minds. Plus Anodites are beings of pure energy who are genetically predisposed to be in different bodies/have no physical form. That sounds like a good instinct for someone who regularly changes their physical form. Ben adapts astonishingly well to each new alien he receives, he’s learned how to adapt and use their abilities on the fly in the middle of a life or death battle. That is NOT something to take lightly.

So that was a very long explanation to say that while Ben and the Omnitrix becoming one was a series of unrelated coincidences coming together, he is probably one of the only ones who CAN use it. It’s the reason the Omnitrix, when it first scanned 10 year old Ben, chose him. That highly unstable Anodite energy would ensure the Omnitrix could fulfill it’s functions without damaging it’s host.

I was absolutely fascinated in And Then There Were None/And Then There Was Ben at the implication that in every reality, Ben Tennyson ended up with the Omnitrix. The only time he didn’t was when an Omnitrix didn’t exist. Because no one else in the known universe can handle it. Poor No Watch Ben is probably gonna burn himself out from alien DNA he doesn’t even know he has unless his Azmuth can slap a watch shaped pressure reliever on him. All I can say is that the universe is damn lucky Ben Tennyson is sweet, heroic guy because if he weren’t that power - as we saw in the Bad Ben realities - would be devastating.

#ben 10 #ive been thinking about this for days #i hate the explanation that the watch can be removed bc it makes no damned sense #also how do you explain why every other personw ho uses a knock off omnitrix goes amad #and ben who transforms sometimes several times in a minute is fine?#something about ben prevents this #Ben and the Omnitrix have a mutualistic relationship #a series of happy accidents to create the ultimate powered being #luckily he just wants to help people and drink smoothies #god i love him

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reddpenn · 3 years ago

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hello I really like your Relative Strangers AU and was hoping to know more about it if you're willing :)

Oh boy, this is an extensive and convoluted AU that I have had in my head for a LONG time, and I will probably be drawing more of it eventually!

Relative Strangers takes place in a future where the Remnants of Despair have been pardoned by the Future Foundation, and are living quiet, unobtrusive, heavily monitored lives among the general population. Their identities are for the most part not public knowledge (though there are always exceptions: the kingdom of Novoselic, for instance, considers their king and queen’s statuses as former Remnants of Despair to be a point of national pride). Things are peaceful for them. Many of them have started families. Had kids of their own, or adopted them. The system is overrun with orphans in the wake of the Tragedy, and the background checks on prospective parents are going from lax to nonexistent. Kokichi wasn’t technically kidnapped, but Nagito walked into an orphanage with a library card as his only ID, and they still let him walk out again with a child.

Meanwhile, a multitude of low budget copycat killing games have started popping up around the world, mimicking the one that was broadcast from Hope’s Peak Academy. The Future Foundation has its hands full trying to quell them. Among them Team Danganronpa begins on the dark web, its first season a series of low quality videos of kidnapped people being forced to murder each other in a grimy warehouse. Several seasons later they luck out incredibly when they kidnap off the street, completely by accident, Rantaro Togami, one of this generation’s potential heirs to the Togami Corporation.

Rantaro is one of the few of these kids who knows his father’s entire past. Through him, Team Danganronpa learns about the Neo World Program and the Jabberwock Island and Future Foundation killing games, as well as the identities and locations of the Remnants of Despair and the other killing game survivors. Using the long abandoned Neo World Program and Rantaro’s vast resources, they make a spectacular and cinematic killing game with an all-star cast of hostages - the children of the people involved in those former killing games.

With the Neo World Program’s memory editing abilities they’re able to create fake backstories and plotlines designed solely to mock and enrage those killing game survivors. The Ultimate Nurse’s son dies of a terminal illness. The Ultimate Breeder’s son gets an incest plotline. The Ultimate Imposter’s daughter reveals herself to be the “mastermind,” an imposter all along. Team Danganronpa wants to make an impact, and to do that they intend to get the full attention of a lot of powerful, dangerous people.

But before all that happens, it’s a long, happy lifetime of soft domesticity. And once their parents band together to defeat Team Danganronpa and rescue their kids from the Neo World Program, it can go back to being that way! Except the frightened kids they pull out of those pods still have the memories of their fake lives, and the “families” here to rescue them seem like strangers; actors playing people they’ve been told are fictional characters. They no longer trust their own memories, and aren’t sure which is the truth and which is the lie. There’s a long road of healing ahead of them.

Thus, y’know, Relative Strangers.

#relative strangers au #danganronpa #drthh #sdr2 #ndrv3

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bloededhoine · 4 years ago

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world building cause twn doesn't part 12: the hen ichaer

i realize i've been mentioning the hen ichaer without really explaining it, and for that i apologize. but without further ado, let's go

colour code cause i fucking love colour codes - already happened/introduced, probably s2, important background info, stuff that might be in the prequel, extras

series masterpost

general

the hen ichaer is basically a magical gene that originated with the elven sorceress, scholar, and princess, lara dorren aep shiadhal

it can lie dormant or inactive for generations, but when someone is an activated carrier of the gene, they are called a source

sources have an insane capability for magic, it's so intense that without instruction they are a huge danger to themselves and/or others. remember pavetta's betrothal feast? hurricanes should not happen indoors

same thing with ciri's sonic scream.

obviously, the hen ichaer is highly weaponize-able, but it's difficult to put this into theory since the magic is so strong that it can easily kill the person who carries it

most important is that the hen ichaer can open ard gaeth, the gates between worlds. you may remember that the witcher is a multiverse, and the continent is just one of countless worlds

aen elle

the aen elle, elves who live in another world called tir ná lia, controlled at least one gate that they used to get slaves from other worlds

however, this was before the hen ichaer was seriously studied. unicorns are also capable of opening ard gaeth, and were present in tir ná lia, so the aen elle would kidnap them to be used as their world-hopping-genocide key. yeah, the aen elle are seriously fucked

the king of the aen elle was named auberon muircetach, and he was very well known for his wars with the unicorns, who weren't too keen on being enslaved for the purpose of conquering other worlds

the hen ichaer came into play when auberon noticed that his daughter, lara dorren, had pretty intense magical abilities. like, ard gaeth opening abilities.

auberon, lara, and a few other elves began studying the gene and trying to figure out how it works and how to use it.

through this study is how we got the title aen saevherne, which is used to distinguish an elven mage with extensive knowledge of history, science, magic, and, most importantly, the elder blood.

both lara and auberon were aen saevherne, as was lara's husband-to-be, avallac'h, and avallac'h's foster son, caranthir ar-feiniel

ithlinne's prophecy

ithlinne aegli aep aevenien was an elven prophet known for her incredibly dark prophecies that she delivered at totally random times. how dark were they? ithlinne's prophecies were almost exclusively about the death of all humanity and/or the end of the world. she was fun at parties.

anyway, when we talk about ithlinne we really only mean one specific prophecy, aen ithlinnespeath. to be confusing it's usually referred to as ithlinne's prophecy

here's the prophecy itself:

Verily I say unto you, the era of the sword and axe is nigh, the era of the wolf's blizzard. The Time of the White Chill and the White Light is nigh, the Time of Madness and the Time of Contempt: Tedd Deireádh, the Time of End. The world will die amidst frost and be reborn with the new sun. It will be reborn of Elder Blood, of Hen Ichaer, of the seed that has been sown. A seed which will not sprout but burst into flame. Ess'tuath esse! Thus it shall be! Watch for the signs! What signs these shall be, I say unto you: first the earth will flow with the blood of Aen Seidhe, the Blood of Elves...

what does that mean? well, the white chill (aka the white frost) is a massive ice age that has been approaching the continent for years. don't believe me? the white frost has destroyed countless worlds in the past, and it literally cannot be stopped. the only way to save the world is by the power of the hen ichaer.

here's a perfectly frightening visual of the white frost

ithlinne didn't elaborate on the how, but we now know that the only to survive the white frost is by finding a new world and massively evacuating the continent through ard gaeth, which can only be opened by the power of the hen ichaer.

genetics

clearly, the hen ichaer is important enough to literally save, or end, the world, but the aen elle did a famously terrible job of studying it. like, you'd think they'd be good at that, but no. to their credit, it is a bit complicated

first, there are multiple types of elder blood genes, the main gene, the latent gene, and the activator gene. to actually show the powers of the hen ichaer, someone would need to either have one latent and one activator, or the main gene.

let's go back to secondary school biology for a second, remember punnet squares? these fuckers

the letters in a punnet square represent a genotype, or the two alleles that are inherited from the parents. phenotypes, on the other hand, are what you see on the outside. for example, a genotype would be Aa but a phenotype would be brown eyes.

while the main gene is a simple dominant allele (shown by a capital letter on a punnet square), both the latent and activator genes are semi-dominant, meaning that when they meet they create a new phenotype: the innate magical ability that makes you a source.

it gets a little less scientific here so bear with me; this new phenotype is so powerful that it sometimes creates a whole new genotype. so instead of having one activator gene and one latent gene, the two would merge and you'd be left with only one (very powerful) main gene. this is the only single gene that actually has magic and it's a dominant gene, so you only need to have one to have the power.

but, the latent and activator genes don't always combine. you still have the full powers when they stay separate, but it is then less likely to pass the hen ichaer your children.

complicated? very much so. but in practice it's a lot easier.

for simplicity's sake i'll call the activator gene g/a, latent gene g/L, main gene g/m and a regular nonmutated gene g/r. to be a source, the genes you inherit would be g/a g/L, but they may combine to be just g/m. your average person would be g/r g/r and a carrier would be either g/a g/r or g/L g/r.

clearly, this makes tracking it pretty messy, since generations of people can be carriers without having a single source

tracking the hen ichaer

for now, let's do what those elven sages couldn't and track then hen ichaer, starting with lara dorren

eventually, lara met an exceptionally talented human mage, cregennan of lod, and they were lab partners (oh my god they were lab partners) in the study of the hen ichaer.

for all the studying, lara and cregennan's own genes have always been something of a mystery. elven mages don't tend to have any issues with using themselves as lab rats, so it's entirely possible that lara and cregennan, knowingly or not, mutated their own genes in their research.

ultimately, it doesn't matter what lara and cregennan's genes originally were. by some happy little accident, the two eventually ended up with at least one activator gene and at least one latent gene between them.

later, when lara and cregennan made their own happy little accident, riannon, she inherited one of each gene (g/a g/L), making her a source. however, riannon's genes did not combine as the elves expected, which made her a little harder to study.

riannon eventually met king goidemar of temeria (g/r g/r), and they had two children named fiona and amavet. i'll start with fiona, who the aen elle managed to figure out had the latent gene, making her g/L r

fiona ended up having a baby with king coram II of cintra (g/r g/r), they named him corbett, and he inherited fiona's g/L and one of coram's g/r.

the aen elle lost track of the hen ichaer when they studied riannon's other kid amavet. see, amavet was kind of a whore. he had twins, muriel and crispin, with the married countess anna kameny. obviously, these children weren't legitimate, and when the angry count kameny murdered amavet a few months later, he was officially childless

the elves did, however, manage to figure out that amavet had riannon's g/a gene and goidemar's g/r gene. anna kameny was just g/r g/r, and crispin ended up being g/r g/r as well. destiny does favour the hen ichaer, but sometimes it's just not meant to be. muriel, on the other hand, did inherit her father's activator gene and was g/a g/r.

let's hop back to corbett, fiona and coram's g/L g/r son. he and princess elen of kaedwen (g/r g/r) had a son, dagorad, who got corbett's latent gene and one of elen's regular ones, meaning he was g/L g/r

muriel married robert of garramore (g/r g/r), and their daughter adalia, the dramatically posed lady right there, had the same genetic combination as her mother, g/a g/r

this is where it gets even weirder

the lovely adalia married dagorad. her second cousin. they shared riannon as their great grandmother. feel better in the fact that it was not intentional, adalia's mother, muriel, was not officially riannon's granddaughter. no one would have even known, but adalia's g/a met up with dagorad's g/L in their daughter, calanthe

for the first time since riannon, the hen ichaer was back, and calanthe's parents genes combined to give her g/m g/r

while it took generations of destiny and accidental incest to make the hen ichaer happen again, now that calanthe had the main gene there was a 50% chance she would pass it to her child, which, of course, she did

calanthe and her husband roegner (g/r g/r) had pavetta, who inherited the g/m from her mother. no one knew about this until pavetta literally created a source hurricane, and was already pregnant

pavetta and duny's (g/r g/r) daughter, ciri, inherited the main gene from her mother and was a source.

sources

it's important to note that a source is not necessarily an incredibly powerful sorcerer, merely a person who has the genetic predisposition required to channel very intense magic

sources, like anyone else, can be bad students, allergic to potions, or just generally averse to magic on all levels except heredity. there is also no way to guarantee that even the most willing source will be good at using magic, in fact it's far more common that they will be really really bad at it. sources are extra susceptible to the chaotic state of magic in the world, and many end up pretty seriously harmed by it.

magical talent tends to make itself known in very emotional situations, like the death of a parent or a war. the same applies for sources, but they have an extra rule: their full powers are off limits until they lose their virginities

now, netflix has not mentioned that rule to be true or false, but i'm going to think of it as strictly book/game/etc canon, because ciri is 10 years old when netflix shows her using her source powers for the first time

the virginity rule makes things even more complicated, as customs about premarital sex are pretty strict in the witcher world (well, among nobility), and the dudes didn't seem to have fast reflexes. what i'm saying is that getting pregnant the first time you had sex was not uncommon. sources couldn't even use, and likely weren't aware of, their powers until they were already passing them on to another generation.

and even still, there is no guarantee that someone who is a source will ever actually show their powers. calanthe had the genetics, but she wasn't a mage. what happened? we don't really know. after calanthe married, cintra was pretty peaceful; there were no invasions or massive upheavals that could put enough stress on her to show her powers. plus, her parents didn't know she had any magical powers, so they didn't give her the training that would develop them, and she was a very level headed person who would likely be unaffected by many of the things that would make another source lose their shit.

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eureka-its-zico · 4 years ago

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Nothing Like Us

Part 1 Part 2

A/N: So this is actually part 3 of a series I decided to do, because a certain person loved these little one shots I made after songs Jungkook sang renditions of. This is the third part of that and the ending. I’ll go ahead and tag the original two on here if anyone is interested. I tried editing this as much as I could while at work and no matter what I did, it couldn’t make me happy. As always, I hope you all enjoy this little piece of fiction. Love, Jenn

Jungkook x Reader

Word count: 4115

Genre: Angst x Fluff(ish)

It was cruel the way the universe placed him perfectly under the halo of the streetlight. The luminescence cascading over a face you’d dreamed of for months; you’d grieved. No matter how much your heart hurt you knew underneath was a monster of rage brewing below it’s depths. The ache in your chest a colossal power that swelled, the waves of grief crashing against you, until it threatened to consume you. When it finally did, it choked your sobs free from your throat with an angry fist.

You counted out hours. Days. Weeks. Stopped counting when weeks turned into full fledge months. Things that you’d spoken in the confines of your mind were now being spoken out loud on brave days to the silent audience of your room. There were days your sadness turned to anger. White hot and blinding: so pure you swore it could’ve torn buildings down to the mortar.

How could Jungkook completely stop talking to you? Seeing you? How could it be possible to not wake up looking for texts from each other or sharing meals together, ending with him still being hungry, because Jungkook was an endless pit. One you happily shared food with just to see him move his shoulders in giddy shakes with every bite.

No one should be able to move on from birthdays where the two of you eagerly watched the other open their gift. Just to let out an unknown sigh of relief at the happiness the present brought. Why was it even possible to let years of knowing become nothing more than fading memories?

You’d spent months wondering these things and in all of them you imagined what it would be like if you ever saw him again. Not on TV. Not your phone from YouTube or Instagram. Saw him the way only the two of you’d shared together. A part of you willing to bet you’d scream at him or yell. Maybe you would cry.

No.

Now with Jungkook a mere few feet away all you could feel was an all consuming need to run to him. A feverish fear heated up your skin at the idea he could turn around and be gone in an instant; nothing more than a phantom of longing you’d created just to see his face. But you knew it was him without ever needing to take another step off the small landing of your porch.

The sounds of the night continued to swell between the sea of pavement between you. Neither of you made a move towards the other. No one moving a finger, as if you shared in the fear if either of you even took a breath it would scare the other away.

Your mind continued to be lost in its endless debate on whether to go to him or to remain motionless. The shoebox and its contents falling flat onto the floor and the only letters scribbled on a photo of you running in tall grass that you’d read flashed over and over: “ I wish I would’ve kissed you first.”

Your mind played them on repeat until your head spun. Your thoughts stuck on his opening words and one of the dozens of photos that accompanied many more. The second one you’d pulled being the first time you’d gone ice skating together. The memory joyous and painful all at once. Your mind was still trying to recover on what to do; your eyes watching him bury his hands deeper inside the pockets of his coat. His gaze hoovering on your figure before he turned and began to move back down the street; leaving you again.

“Jungkook!”

You weren’t aware you were off your porch until you felt your feet moving rapidly down the steps. Your legs burning trying to keep up with the sudden furious pace of your panic. Even then, your lungs were still able to carry enough air for you to continue to scream his name. It didn’t matter if he, your neighbors, or anyone else could hear your pain; the frenzied way you called his name religiously to get him to stop.

Your heart skipped for a split second when he finally did. Jungkook’s body rigid as you came closer to his back while he continued to face away from you. You didn’t know if he was dreading the knowledge that you were coming closer. You had no way to tell if he was just as frantic to see you or wanted nothing to do with you.

It could all be a painful accident that you’d seen him outside your door. He could’ve just been passing through and somehow forgot he just so happened to be in your neighborhood. You knew, it was none of those. Jungkook, some part of him, must miss you or why else would he even be here?

“Jungkook?”

God. How small your voice sounded. How hopeful.

Still, Jungkook would not answer you; wouldn’t bother to glance in your direction. Suddenly, your tongue felt like lead in your mouth. Sour and weighed down by a fear tinged regret at showing your hand at how much you’d missed him. When he had shown you nothing.

You’d grown accustomed to disappoint, however, and braced yourself for what you did next. If Jungkook wouldn’t turn to face you, then you would simply half to walk around to face him. When you were a quarter of the way around, a timid hand reached out to lightly grab at the fabric of his jacket.

You had that sudden sensation again of being lost at sea, in need of something to keep you from drowning, with Jungkook being your only shore for miles.

Jungkook hadn’t expected you to touch him and his body gave a noticeable jolt at your touch. It didn’t deter you. You were now in front of him and could see the pain etched into every line of his features. It was evident he was close to tears as your eyes drank him in. Jungkook was the one person you’d known who’d always been so certain. The man standing before you now looked as lost as you felt, and it all felt more than you could take. Your hand was still holding onto him, but now it felt like maybe Jungkook needed to feel your touch just as much as you’d needed to touch him.

“Jungkook,” you whispered. “It really is you.”

He didn’t answer you. His eyes diverted to look everywhere but where you stood before him. It was driving you crazy. Did you not deserve to have his full attention after all this time? Didn’t you deserve that, at least?

Jungkook wasn’t pulling away from you yet, and it seemed like he didn’t want to take the steps to remove you from him. So how could he continue to act like you weren’t there?

In a blur of sparked rage your gentle hand on his arm released and shoved into his chest. All that anger and weak attempts to hate him spewed back up to make you lash out in all the ways you’d dreamed about doing.

“Why come here if you can’t speak to me, huh? Did you come just to hurt me more!? Is this some kind of game to you?”

You hurled your words at him and watched as they struck home. All the frustration and tears you’d thought you’d shed came flooding back like a monsoon. You weren’t able to control the tears from streaming hot and raw against your cheeks. Jungkook eyes now hopelessly transfixed on you as you moved forward to shove against him. His hands easily reached out to take hold of your shoulders and kept you firmly in place. The movement caused you both to be only a few inches apart, and oh how you hated the small amount of distance between you.

“I never wanted to hurt you in the first place, Y/N!”

His admission made you go rigid mimicking like he had earlier. The pain in his gaze quieted the last remaining fire of your anger. Instead, what rose up felt even worse. You’d missed him so much. He was still jungkook: your Jungkook, but different now. His features carved out from that baby softness to now show a more mature him. Your hands registering easily that his lean frame had grown thicker with muscles. The muscle bunny he’d always wanted to be. Looking up at him now your lips came alive with the memory of him and you hated yourself for that.

“Then why did you leave me alone in the park, Kook? You never answered a phone call or a text. You didn’t even try. You let me go.”

The despair your parting words held hit home like a hammer. All this time you felt like you were missing a part of yourself. A phantom limb. Jungkook was that limb. Being so close to him you knew there wasn’t ever any doubt. He was much a part of you as your own self and standing there with him felt like it’d finally come home.

You were so lost in your sadness that when he released your shoulders and embraced you, a small shriek of surprise left you. It was an embarrassing noise. One Jungkook knew would ultimately leave you blushing into his chest; the same chest that vibrated with laughter.

A part of you wanted to stay upset with him. To demand what was so funny, but even you could feel a smile curl your lips and the tension in your shoulders ease as you found comfort against him.

You couldn’t stop your hands from pinching at his ticklish sides and playfully demand, “What was so funny?”

“You always did sound like the tiniest mouse when you were scared.”

Jungkook pressed his lips against your hair as he spoke. The intimacy of it sending a breath of goosebumps along your skin.

“This is about you abandoning me not my odd noises.”

Your words came out in mumbles with your mouth still pressed into his chest. If you wanted to be more serious about the issue you would’ve pulled away from him, but your arms were helplessly glued around him. The heavy sigh that escaped Jungkook’s lips sent your hair fluttering, and you knew he wasn’t letting go either.

“I know. It’s just easier to talk about how cute your noises are than about what happened.”

“Fair enough.”

You risked moving just enough to look around. It was close to eleven-thirty when you’d heard his knock on the door. The time now closer to midnight or after; the night is perfect to hide you both. But you couldn’t risk people walking by and gawking if one of you had an outburst. Besides, something so private deserved no audience. Even from the night herself.

Reluctantly, you stepped back from him. Your hand beginning to reach out to take his own. You nodded in the direction of your apartment in hopes he would understand where you were wanting to go.

“Come on. I think it’s safer if we just talk inside.”

Jungkook gave a simple nod that he agreed. His gaze wandered down to your hands as you began to take the few steps back to your home. Neither of you spoke as you walked to your front door. The only time you stopped was to pick up the box you’d discarded on your stoop.

The silence continued to follow you both to your front door. Your fingers moved quickly to type in the code to enter with the sound of the deadbolt sliding home seconds later to allow you entrance. The two of you headed inside; your body resting on the door to hold it open for Jungkook to enter.

You watched the careful way his feet carried him over the threshold. His eyes roaming around the small studio apartment, taking in everything he could as he came to a stop inside the hallway. Your apartment was a messy thing to behold.Books in towers, clothes hung up on makeshift closet racks, and the wall of art.

A part of you wondered how long it would take him to realize what exactly it was that decorated that particular wall. This small shrine to a time when everything seemed so simple. Jungkook moved to remove his shoes, his head still looking up to take in an apartment he’d never seen, when his eyes lit up with the realization of what it was he was looking at. His gaze fixated on the wall of drawings and paintings. Every single one signed in the form of bunny ears and exaggerated initials.

His eyes were so engrossed on them that he fumbled in taking off his shoes. So distracted he was by it that he fumbled, in a goofy dance, while trying to remove his shoes. His eyes on something he deemed more important.

“You - you put up all the art I’d given you.”

His voice was little more than a whisper of wonder. Jungkook finally taking his eyes off the wall to look back at you. Appreciation brightening up all the features of his face until he practically glowed.

Your nerves were beginning to fade as his attention was now falling back on you. Your free hand digging down into the pockets of your dress, the other tightening around the box in a weak attempt to stop them from fidgeting. You knew if you began to talk, they would fly around everywhere. A tell-tale sign that Jungkook knew meant you were two syllables away from stuttering.

“Of course I did, Jungkook. You gave me one during every single holiday. Why would I throw them away?”

“We haven’t seen each other in years, Y/N, and yet, you kept these.”

You allowed yourself a brief moment to prepare yourself for what came next. Sure, you needed to take off your shoes but could’ve done so easily while still talking to him, but you needed to look away from him. To gather your wits and fight off the ache that swelled viciously back in your chest. Your fingers gingerly moving to touch along the lid of the box and reminding yourself what was inside.

“Just because we ended...whatever it was that we were, Kook, doesn’t mean I would throw them all away. One bad moment couldn’t possibly diminish all the good ones.”

It was Jungkook’s turn to stand there with a face that told you plainly he didn’t believe you. A sad smile was the last thing you saw before his eyes turned to the floor. His own hands now deeply planted inside the pockets of his sweater.

“I guess you’re right.”

“I am right,” you replied with certainty. It earned you a snort as he brought his face back up to look at you.

The length of his hair hide his face from perfect view. Only allowing a small curtain to part just enough to allow one eye to peek through.

“Let’s sit and talk about this. Ok?”

You put the small box in front of you and gave it a good shake for good measure. Just in case there was anything else he randomly thought you wanted to speak about, but Jungkook knew.

The two of you moved in silence towards the couch. When you sat down you somehow ended up both together, barely inches apart. The way you always used too when you had to share. A hidden air that nothing had changed between you when, of course, everything had.

The box sat in your lap while your fingers drummed out a beat against the worn cardboard. Your body painfully aware of how close he was; closer than he ever used to sit before the kiss. This was ridiculous. It was just Jungkook - a much more grown, somehow even more handsome, version of the boy you kissed out there on the grass.

You willed yourself to turn and look at him. Your breath hitching in your throat in surprise a second after. Jungkook was already staring at you. His gaze mapping out the contours of your face like he would save them to memory. As if he wasn’t sitting right beside you. His hand moved out to rest on the top of the box. His fingers grazing over yours making their way to its edge, and gently began to open it.

“At first,” he began, voice breathless beside you, “I wasn’t sure if you’d want to see me. I wasn’t even sure if you’d take this.” His hand moved to open up the box, exposing the contents inside little by little. “The time we spent apart left me to think a lot about our time together. The memories we made. The ones I treasure.”

As Jungkook spoke his hand moved the dozen of photos around inside the box. You thought maybe he was just stirring them up; a way for him to fidget while he talked. He proved you wrong when his fingers snagged a photo he’d been searching for: a photo Yoongi had taken. You’d gone out with them to grab a bite to eat after they’d finish learning a new choreography. Taeyhung came along and Yoongi played the adult chaperon.

Tae teased Jungkook relentlessly with a chant that he had a crush on you. When Tae had first started his teasing, every time his words went without a denial from Jungkook your heart felt like it was ready to burst. You could still feel the heat on your cheeks that you desperately tried to hide so he wouldn’t see. The time came eventually though, when Jungkook would answer him, and when he finally did your swelling heart began to break.

“She’s my best friend, Tae.You can’t crush on your friends, anyways.”

You were so caught up in the memory you didn’t see when Jungkook had turned the photo around. Exposing the stark white of the back that was now covered in a letter of writing.

“This day was the first day that I lied about us.” Jungkook said, his voice barely above a whisper now. So light you felt like you needed to lean in even closer just to hear him. “Taehyung was just embarrassing me so much and I thought if I denied it, he would leave it alone. But the truth is, I did have a crush on you.”

Jungkook’s words fell away into a backdrop of noise. You tried your best not to let your emotions carry you away from reason. You promised yourself all you wanted was an explanation to what happened between you, but you felt yourself breaking that promise as your eyes scanned over the back of the photo.

“I told you I didn’t have a crush. I spoke it so loudly; I almost made myself believe it. But the rest of the time at dinner all I could recall was the way your face lit up with laughter. How you offered up extra food for us to take home for everyone else…

But Mostly I remember how you looked

At me

And I knew then: you were my happy place”

The tears you told yourself you wouldn’t shed pricked mercilessly to be released. Your head turning just enough to really take him in, and wasn’t the least bit surprised to find Jungkook already looking back. His hand now discarding the photo back inside the box and reached up to rest the palm of his hand on your cheek. And just like that, the first tear fell as yours eyes closed and you nuzzled into the feel of his hand.

“Jungkook-“

“I needed to write down these moments for you to keep. The things I was too scared to say in fear of ruining what we had. You deserve to know, Y/N that I love you. The way you loved me, cared for me, has stayed with me for so many years.”

You were now only inches apart. So close if Jungkook really wanted he could have breathed you to him. You were both looking at one another, but there were moments you both stopped; your eyes falling to the others lips. The two of you so damn close, and yet your body was close to freezing up. The hidden panic of being rejected again keeping you from going those extra few inches.

Jungkook’s thumb lightly moved across your cheek. The same painstakingly slow movement like when his eyes traced your face earlier. Committing this moment to his memory with the chance that you would pull away; deny him. How could you ever deny him? Didn’t this idiot know how much you loved him?

“Y/N.”

“Yes.”

Your voice was raspy from disuse. Your tongue licking across what felt like the desert now resided on your lips. And of course, Jungkook’s eyes hungrily ate up every flick of your tongue.

“Would you allow me a redo of our first kiss?”

You wanted to scream at him, “Of course you idiot! Just do it and stop teasing!”

In reality, you stayed quiet. The only answer you were able to give a soft nod of your head. Jungkook’s face lit up like a firework, literally the bloom of your yes made his features light up in phases until the glow it created was absolutely breathtaking. The smile you’d witnessed a thousand times now felt brand new all over again; especially in the way it made your body feel like you were floating.

You felt your lungs hold in the last breathe you took, a kidnapper of air, as you helplessly began to wait for him to make his move. The ugly sadness of the last few years began to try and rear its ugly head once more. Whispers about his lack of movement causing the fear of doubt to spring into your chest. You wanted so badly to put it out until it spread, but you were so accustomed to that voice you weren’t sure how you could ever defeat it.

And in the span of a millisecond, Jungkook filled that last bit of space between you. His lips brushed against yours in a soft caress; waiting for you to move in those last few inches. He didn’t need to wait long before your body turned to fully face him. Your hands losing their previous grip on that shoebox, full of memories as love notes, and instead curled into the soft cotton of his sweatshirt.

It was all the answer Jungkook needed to deepen the kiss. The soft caress of earlier turning more frantic; his other hand moving to mimic the other. Both holding each side of your face to tilt it up just right to meet his hungry lips. The kiss was now fueled by a desire that had long been suppressed between you. A feeling like he would consume you from the mouth down, and you were more than willing to let him.

A soft moan escaped your lips that somehow broke this spell that had overtaken you both. He pulled away just enough, enough to show a satisfied smirk curl his lips, as he placed his forehead against yours.

“Well, I would say that went better than expected.”

“And what were you expecting?”

You were still trying desperately to slow your racing heart. To not be consumed in the moment but ultimately found yourself reminiscing about the girl that day in the park. Who was so afraid to take that leap, and looking at Jungkook now you just wanted to tell her that the choice she made to take it was the best thing she’d ever done.

“To be honest,” he said between another peek to your lips, “I had this terrible fear you would just throw me out.”

“I mean I still could,” you teased.

Jungkook’s hands finally moved down from your face allowing you enough time to notice his body wasn’t the only thing that had changed.

“You have tattoos now!” You gawked.

A breath of laughter escaped him as he looked down into his lap, at his right hand, and back at you.

“Quite a few, actually.”

“Wow. It seems there’s a lot we’re going to have to catch up on.”

“I totally agree.”

Silence enveloped around you as you both began to work into a nervous dance. Neither of you exactly knew where it was supposed to go from here or the steps to get from point A to B. I mean, where did you begin? Did you go right into talking about the last year or so? New hobbies?

Luckily, Jungkook saved you again as he leaned in and planted a lingering kiss on your lips. When he pulled away that sly smirk was back as he asked, “Would it be okay if we kissed a little while longer?”

A smile of your own spread wide across your face. Your reply a sweet kiss against his lips.

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fymagnificentwomcn · 4 years ago

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Do you think that if Hatice hadn't ended up marrying Ibrahim she maybe could have been a little happier? Or at least lived longer? I always felt that her "love" for him was much more a kind of obsession than actual love and in the end being granted permission from Suleyman to be with him ended up being bad for her mental health since before their wedding she wasn't as anxious, paranoid, arrogant and jealous as she later became. Maybe if she married someone else she may not have fallen in love with them, but maybe she would have been a better mother to her children?

I honestly don’t think so. Of course a marriage of two traumatised people IS always a risky thing because obviously double dose of trauma and emotional problems is worse than when we have only one person with issues in a marriage, but loveless marriage would have destroyed Hatice much sooner, and actually it wasn’t the marriage that was the destruction of Hatice. Yes, it brought her a lot of pain with his betrayal, but ultimately it was one aspect of pain in her life that ultimately did get resolved, unlike others, which intensified.

Hatice is a clearly damaged person already at the beginning of the story. She’s a very sensitive soul that would always be troubled in this system. In her young age, she already had to witness the reign of her bloody father and was forced to marry an elderly man that died soon after the marriage. Even Süleyman is traumatised after dealings with his father and when he witnessed Selim’s brutal rise to power that involved eradicating all males in the family except Süleyman himself. Hatice feels trapped in the palace and feels suffocated in it.

While Ibrahim is made of sterner stuff, as we may say, and also does enjoy rising in the ranks in Ottoman palace, we know he also feels trapped and suffocated here, and that never truly adapted to Ottoman reality. While not so much sensitive person who abhors power games, he nevertheless also feels out of place here, also because he always feels more connected with Western culture. They are both outsiders actually. And this is what ultimately binds them together .Hatice, unlike say an ambitious princess like Sah, does not want power – she only wants to live peacefully with her children and man she loves. In this system of constant struggle, sometimes almost Darwinian (the whole open succession hello) to be on top, she might feel an outsider for that. Hatice in S1 IS also a naïve, sheltered idealist. She has her dreams of ideal future.

After (amost miraculous) acceptance of her marriage to Ibrahim, she seems to have it all, especially when she gets pregnant. But then everything is shattered when she miscarries and this is the event that begins her emotional descent arc.

However, she did have mental issues before that. She tried to kill herself when she was supposed to marry the man of Hafsa’s choosing. She didn’t want to feel trapped even more by again people deciding her fate thanks to all soulless, pragmatic, harsh rules.

Hatice was a depressed, anxious person from the very start of the series ,and she could also be short-tempered and impatient from very beginning.

And her being forced to marry someone else or not marry anyone would have likely made her to what Gevherhan did in MYK- decide to take her fate into her own hands FOR ONCE.

Maybe Ibrahim wasn’t a perfect choice due to his own emotional baggage that later made him commit stupid things, but he was still a good choice because she loved him, he loved her and he did understand her and also tried to be a source of support even though all their issues also caused him to be similarly a source of pain to her.

However, not matter how much Hatice and Ibrahim tried, the power struggle in the palace affected them because neither of them - she as member of dynasty and him as important official - could ever be free from it. Ibrahim and Hürrem’s rivalry that intensified from S2 onwards affected it – we might say that neither Hürrem nor Ibrahim wanted to purposefully hurt Hatice, but she got caught in crossfire nevertheless. Obviously, marriage to Hatice meant a lot for Ibrahim’s career in the palace and making it fall apart was the easiest way for Hürrem to remove Ibrahim. We discussed it a bit here.

Similarly, fate also threw difficult things on them – first the miscarriage, then the death of the baby the cause of which was never determined (whether the poison or simple Sudden Infant Death Syndrome), but Hatice blames herself and thinks herself to be a killer of her child. Even once Ibrahim begins suspecting Hürrem because he figures out there was poison on his notebook that later could be carried to a child, who didn’t have such a strong organism as his father, he never shares this with Hatice not to re-open old wounds. Then Suleyman’s heart attack and her mother’s illness, all the intensification of power struggles that re-merged with Hatice trusting Hürrem again and then being disappointed again when Hürrem used sick Valide to frame Mahi while at the same sitting with Hatice and wishing her mum a speedy recovery (and Hatice did scold Mahi at first believing it was her), also some of earlier Mahi’s behaviour too… the turn of S2/S3 is very traumatising for Hatice. Death of her mother, followed by Ibrahim’s infidelity revelation together with manner of Hürrem revealing it that left Hatice in no doubt it was done to remove Ibrahim and that Hürrem was thus glad about his cheating (and again knowing that it is what Hürrem has dreamt of for long), so the final nail to their friendship’s coffin, it all caused a huge blow.Ultimately, the problem that does get solved in the end is the marital problem. Ibrahim ultimately does wake up even before he learns Nigar is pregnant (what Nigar anticipated actually) because in the end he DOES love his wife. He knows how much he hurt Hatice and is ready to face the consequences.. When Matrakçi said Hatice loves him a lot and would eventually forgive him, while Hürrem would surely use her opportunity and tell Süleyman: Ibrahim said: “What does it matter if I lose everything or not? I’ve once renounced ranks for Hatice. Nothing is worthy next to her. The only thing that worries me is Hatice, her broken heart. When she looked at me, I wanted the ground to swallow me whole”.

Again it’s Hatice’s choice to forgive him and neither Hürrem nor anyone should mock her for it. And unlike Süleyman, who constantly promises Hürrem to be faithful, and then goes enjoying making her jealous, Ibrahim does not intend to hurt Hatice ever again and I believe he wouldn’t have even if he had lived much longer.

And then we see them at their best, most mature, most healthy relationship now they’ve dealt with their issues and decided to start anew no matter what. I think part of Hatice’s anxiety was being centered around her ideal, dream life and once cracks appeared (first crack was again the miscarriage), the issues began popping up, and she felt like world was slipping from her fingers. It is a psychological phenomenon, when sometimes big storm cleanses you because you give up on perfection, while a small crack can drive you crazy and be a nagging trigger.

Same with Ibrahim, who as Hatice’s husband and more and more successful vizier, began seeing that no matter his talents and achievements he’s still considered inferior to members of dynasty (including Süleyman ranting at beginning of S2 to Hürrem how nobody, including Ibrahim, is equal to him in Ibrahim’s earview). Hatice’s remark about him being servant (she obviously does not see him as that) would be perhaps part of normal marital quarrel otherwise, something thrown in anger, but for him it was a trigger. His relationship with Nigar was an escape from it all – unlike his relationships with Hatice and Süleymann, the dynastic aspect was gone, he was actually with someone inferior and doing something foribidden for damads. He himself believed in that fantasy world he created with Nigar and even remarked to his brother he would like to run away with the woman he loved (aka Nigar) back to Parga, but it was all an illusion. He did TRULY LOVE Hatice, NOT Nigar, but he could not get over at that moment with how much she stood for and was part of the system he abhorred (same with Süleyman). He loves both Hatice and Suly a lot, but at the same time he hates the system they stand for and this conflict drives him a lot in S2 . When he says why Esmanur is his favourite child he remarks that while he loves his children with Hatice, Esmanur is so precious to him because she’s not part of any dynasty he’s subservient to. At the same time he has his crisis with Hatice, he goes through several crises in this aspect with Süleyman too (and again, both conflcts are played at roughly the same time). All things that would later doom him happened in S2 (things that he was guilty of, not simply blamed for something he didn’t do), he’s far more relaxed and certain of himself and his place in S3 before his death.

And after all problems were dealt with, Hatice’s paranoia concerning Ibrahim’s potential infidelity was healed once and for all. Even when Hürrem tries to scheme again and arranges Ibrahim to meet Nigar by accident in the Marble Pavillon, Hatice does not even intend to check because she trusts him 100% now. They were truly a happy family before Ibrahim’s death.

What destroyed once and for all was Ibrahim’s death and afterwards because it wasn’t just death of a spouse – following this event she effectively lost also another person very close to her – her brother. Of course after such horrible death when her husband’s body was dumped in unnamed grave in the forest and she can’t even go there (I suppose Matrakçi didn’t want to take her there because he was afraid seeing this could only make her despair more) as a result of brutal power games in the palace after which nobody was safe, a sensitive person lost it. Especially since she lost three people to whom she was closest most of out of her family in very close succession – her mother, her husband and her brother. And she had to live under one roof with people responsible for her husband’s death. Mahidevran and Mustafa also were gone to Manisa. She had Sah, who despite all loved her and wanted to help her, but it was of course a difficult relationship, also with some unresolved things. And instead of truly being there for his sister, Süleyman repeatedly made her even harder to heal by removing all traces of Ibrahim and trying to erase him, allowing Hürrem to hold a party in harem during mourning period, marrying her off against her will, ordering her to leave her palace, dismissing her as crazy and not trusting her at all (or again perhaps that’s what he wanted to believe) when Hürrem beat her up, etc. He never tried to understand her or truly talk to her, all he did was a series of actions that claimed were to make her heal, but were in fact cold orders that often were to made him feel better than actually help Hatice (but he could fool himself he is trying to help of course).

Then of course all injustices that befell Mustafa and his and Mahidevran’s despair, feeling that indeed Mustafa would be next and he would face Ibrahim’s fate made her decide for last desperate step.

And it’s again telling when Hatice comes to Süleyman following Hürrem’s disappearance – she says she finally has her brother again because now they experience the same and he finally understands her. For a short while, she looked happier because she finally had her brother back.Then again when she had her suicide speech he was again all about WHERE’S HURREM instead of even trying to listen to his sister’s words.

I think she was okay mother before Ibrahim’s death and later she was non-functional due to depression and since she could never consult a therapist or even leave this place forever (then she would be alone forever anyway), it could only lead to tragedy.

Hatice is precisely a tragic character, a sensitive soul which the palace life totally destroyed and all she wanted was to be happy with her family. She was a princess yet she could never be free or feel safe. Marrying for love was the only time she truly got what she wanted out of life and without it she would not only have even that. I think that even if she married someone she doesn’t love, so she would not be scared of losing them/would not suffer that much because of their loss would not make her be happier. She could even look at her sister, Beyhan, who didn’t marry for love and whose husband was executed for serious stuff, but yet she lost her brother forever and underwent serious trauma. Gevherhan in MYK also didn’t marry Topal out of love, but she nevertheless decided to create a happy family with him and tried to cherish what she had, but still she was humiliated by her brother, who again executed her (traitor)husband for a show after finally having paid attention to his neglected sister a day before, and her son was left without a father, their whole life uprooted. No matter who she married, Hatice could never be free of betrayal, death and power schemes, so at least she got some true love.

I think that it’s better to have something in your life even if loss than is more painful than if we don’t care about it than live more “secure”, especially since in Hatice’s case she could never have a peaceful life by the mere fact she belonged to the Ottoman dynasty and all its upheavals and conflicts had to somewhat always affect her.

And when it comes to betrayal, it was Süleyman’s, not Ibrahim’s, betrayal that Hatice could never recover and heal from.

- Joanna (also thanks to my friend and biggest Hatice fan & expert @queen-deter , who discussed this question with me 🥰)

#librarian-witchling #hatice sultan #muhteşem yüzyıl #magnificent century #answered #ibrahim pasha #ibrahim x hatice

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lonestarpost · 4 years ago

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April 26, 2021~ Masterlist ~ Issue 12

Episode Review

by @lonestarbabe

9-1-1: Lone Star’s ninth episode of season two breaks the hiatus with one of the season’s strongest episodes; in this episode, the showrunners prioritize quality storytelling (many thanks to writer Tonya Kong), and while the episode focuses heavily on past events, it creates an atmosphere that allows extensive character development moving forward. The episode shows viewers Grace and Judd’s story, and it does so in a way that highlights their bright future and how they have built a healthy, happy future together by first creating a solid foundation for themselves. “Saving Grace” stands out because of its attention to detail and the complex dynamics it beautifully fleshes out. The episode is rooted in humanity; the characters are not perfect, but through those flaws, viewers see the power of interpersonal relationships and the ability of people to save one another in a myriad of ways.

Throughout the episode, Judd is lost, but one grounding force saves him from his demons: his wife, Grace Ryder. As the episode kicks off, Judd is a young kid joyriding with his friend. As Judd sits behind the wheel, a tragic accident causes his friend to die, and Judd is left with a wealth of guilt and self-doubt. Despite Grace being in grave danger after the accident, during the entirety of the episode, it is Judd who needs saving from the complex emotions that haunt him. When Judd is in danger, Grace is there for him, even when she is a hospital bed. Judd wants to take revenge on the drunk driver who drove him and Grace off the road, but then, Grace wakes up, and Judd comments that Grace has saved the drunk driver. Before that, before Grace and Judd have met face to face, they begin correspondence when Judd calls a Christian crisis hotline that Grace works at as she finishes school. Seeing their relationship develop over the phone shows the deep connection that the couple has, and in Judd’s darkest moments, Grace was there for him, and her voice saved him from his own self-destruction.

After reciting Psalm 31, which Judd has tattooed on his hand, Grace says, “None of us are perfect. It’s by Grace that we’re saved,” and this line expertly reinforces the themes of the episode. Just before he nearly beats the drunk driver who ran him and Grace off the road, we see Judd getting the tattoo, which shows Judd’s mindset. He is thinking about Grace and how she has saved him. Judd himself was responsible, at least in part, for somebody’s death; that guilt has made it hard for him to recover mentally, but grace has gotten him through. Even so, he struggles to extend forgiveness to the man who has hurt Grace. The reminder of his own trauma is fresh, but Judd is still a flawed, emotional person who needs tempering, and with Grace unconscious, he feels untethered. He’s back to being an angry person, who still blames himself for the death of his friend.

Judd once fought to make amends with Leigh-Ann, the mother of the kid who died in the car, and these parallels show how hard it is to forgive. But the forgiveness ultimately isn’t about giving a gift to someone who has done wrong; in this story, it is shown as a way of saving yourself. Instead of getting trapped in the bitterness, forgiveness allows the characters to heal themselves. Early in the episode, Leigh-Ann is hurt on the floor of her home; this portrayal represents how her son’s death debilitated her. She holds unto her anger, but as Judd makes amends by fixing Leigh-Ann’s fence (a white picket fence that represents the ideal American home, which has become dirty and has fallen apart since Cal’s death), and he takes a devastated property and makes it a home. After watching Judd work for a while as she recovers, Leigh-Ann finally gives Judd water, and not only does Judd make amends, but Leigh-Anne has physically recovered since we last saw her. She still has a sling on her arm, but she’s on the way to healing. Likewise, when Judd goes to see the man who nearly killed Grace, he is in the process of healing himself. He’s just gotten out of bed from his own injuries. His body is still battered, but as he backs away from the man because of Grace waking up, it marks that Judd is healing too, not just physically but he’s also learning to focus on what matters rather than the anger he feels. In the end, it is love and care that brings the character happiness, and it makes them happier to focus on the things that save them rather than what hurts them. Love, from the 126 and from Grace, keep Judd from self-destructing from his guilt and rage.

The title works on a number of levels. While it seems at first glance that the episode is about “Saving Grace” from the accident that has nearly killed her, the essence of the episode is that Grace is Judd’s “Saving Grace.” Not only that, but she is thousands of people’s “Saving Grace.” In her career, she has been a voice of reason and hope. Even when she can’t save a life, as with the astronaut in the season one finale, her voice still provides comfort and a sense of salvation to people who are hurting. It’s not just Grace that saves Judd. In many ways, Judd also sparks Grace’s own decisions. As Grace falls in love with Judd, she realizes that going to graduate school far away isn’t her calling. She doesn’t stay because of Judd, but there’s no doubt that her connection with Judd helped Grace realize that saving people was her calling. She decides to become a 9-1-1 operator, and for thousands of people, she becomes a “Saving Grace” on the other end of the line.

“Saving Grace,” is one of the best episodes of the series, and arguably, it is the most artfully written. It stands out because the details add up in a way that drives the plot and character development. It excels at showing rather than just telling the viewers the vital details of the story. Grace is an angel, and one of her greatest strengths is bringing people together and comforting them in their times of need. When she saves people, she then allows them to save countless others. Through Grace, Judd is a hero in his own right, but he is the kind that gets glory, while Grace’s role is more understated but just as important. The episode mostly focuses on Judd’s history, but when you look at it closely, the role of Grace, understated but poignant, is what stands out the most.

The Edits Edit

Some of the best edits this week that deserve all the love.

Carlos Reyes, 911 Lone Star 1.01 by @reyeslonestar is an amazing piece of fan art, and as usual, Alice is an amazing talent that we should all appreciate.

This Grace and Judd gifset by @ronenrubinstein is just WOW. I love looking at it and cannot stop!

Marjan Marwani by @alwaysablossom is soooooo pretty. I love the colors and all the details more than I can say!

SIERRA MCCLAIN as GRACE RYDER by @bucktks is an amazing edit that highlights Grace. You should also check out this one, which is equally good! Finally, take a look at this Tarlos set! (They all are amazing.)

Judd & Owen in 2x09 (Pt2) by @911dawnstar is such a well-done gifset, and I love seeing Judd and Owen being a wonderful duo. Also look at Part 1!

“We’re gonna have a new little Texan running around!” by @shoenaerts makes me swoon, and my heart can barely handle it because Grace and Judd are the definition of LOVE. This one is also beautiful.

the ryders + howdy. by @laurenkmyers makes my heart beat faster... I love it so much.

This Grace and Judd moment by @chrissiewatts makes me cry every time I see it AHHH.

These gifs by @strandtk is so amazing. I am in love with this edit! This one too!

This gif by @jessie-meili showcases Grace in the perfect way!

Group Hugs by @rafasilvas is one of my fave gifsets ever and highlights wonderful parallels of the 126 family. I’m in love.

The truth is, I think I just wanted to hear your voice. by @buckleys-diaz is soooooo dreamy and beautiful.

Fic Recs

remind us where we've been by @morganaspendragonss (hollyhobbit101)

Word Count: 564

Chapters: 1/1

“This is something, ain’t it?” Judd says, nudging Owen gently. Owen looks around Judd's backyard, taking it all in - TK and Carlos with their two kids, Judd's three milling around, their whole family gathered together in a future Owen's not sure he ever imagined even in his wildest dreams. "It's something," he agrees.

Home is wherever you are by @sixringss (buckscasey)

Word Count: 1651

Chapters: 1/1

A week after the fire, Carlos goes back to his home.Speculation for 2x12/13

Get Me off the Boat, I'm Ready to be on Land by @silvarafael (tiniestmite)

Word Count: 3966

Chapters: 1/1

Five times TK’s sobriety is tested after he arrives in Austin but he keeps it to himself, and the one time it gets so bad that he tells someone.

The Way Our Horizons Meet (chapter 1) by @chicgeekgirl89 (Writeallnight)

Word Count: 1500

Chapters: 1/3 (WIP)

Carlos' perspective through the aftermath of T.K.'s shooting. Follows the events of episodes 1x08-1x10.

You Found Me (Did You Ever Doubt I Would?) (Chapter 10) by @doctornineandthreequarters (doctornineandthreequarters)

Word Count: 2736

Chapters: 10/? (standalone works)

Tarlos college au

#masterlist #911 lone star #lone star post #issue 12

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agathaarts · 4 years ago

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Spidersonas forever!!!!!! Though she’s become less of a Spidersona and more her own weird spiderspinoff at this point, complete with a name change.

Some more Itsy stuff outta basically nowhere! Her spider-human hybrid form is where she’s most “comfortable” and ultimately where she winds up resting most of the time, though she’s still a pretty competent were-spider-shapeshifter-sort. She has a number of different and modifiable outfits, perks of living with a seamstress, and....I also wanted to draw a bunch of her, uh, rogue’s gallery together, though admittedly the Black Cats could be considered friends before long. Or at least, associates.

This is far from all of them, but these are the guys I have concrete looks for at least! Maybe I’ll do one of her allies soon. As is, most of her issues stem from the monsterous OZCORP, the company that not only created her, but continues to create it’s own forces, meddling in the nature of reality to do so!

Tiny blurbs below the cut for each of them, and if you’d like to know more about any of ‘em...let me know! I have an unfortunate amount of ideas for this AU!

ITSY-BITSY AKA SPIDER-WOMAN aka Aggie Appleton. While working for the unscrupulous OzCorp, unlucky intern Aggie Appleton is caught in the backlash of an experiment that fuses her with unstable realmatter and the test subject- a hyper-adaptive spider created using the same unstable realmatter! Now, she fights to protect her city from OzCorp’s increasingly dangerous experiments and the beings created by their experiments as ITSY BITSY aka THE INCREDIBLE SPIDER-WOMAN!

THE GREEN GOBLIN aka Norma Osborne. The CEO and leader of OZcorp, Norma Osborne has sacrificed everything for her company and their work, being a gifted and brilliant scientist in her own right. It has cost her family ties, friends, her social life, and now- her sanity and stability of form. Able to transform into the corrosive GREEN GOBLIN, she becomes a destructive force of chemical reactions and decay, with no more limits standing in her way! At least, until that annoying spider shows up...

THE KLYNTAR, represented by units VENOM and CARNAGE ~ Inter-dimensional beings, symbiotes (or, perhaps, parasites) who feed off of living beings, the KLYNTAR are horrors from beyond who’ve made a deal with Norma Osborne: a place to stop and feed in exchange for OzCorp to poke and prod and take samples to use their unstable realmatter forms to create new techniques and horrors! Of course, once mold gets in....it’s almost impossible to get it out, even if said mold is far more than anything native to Earth!

BLACK CAT is a mystery. A force of corporate espionage, a cat thief, a rumor, and mystery, a funny joke to poke fun at unsolved thefts and leaked information- of course, it’s very hard to find Black Cat. They slip in and out of secure warehouses, files, and companies with nary a trace, virtually impossible to spot. Especially unless you know they’re not one person, but three. At least, that Itsy-Bitsy comes to know of...

THE BUGS are a group of ne’er-do-wells who took up an offer to be bonded with biotech armor by OzCorp, all for their own various reasons, and now they’re beholden to OzCorp...and on an impressive payroll, that motivates being guards, bullies, and thieves as necessary.

SCORPION aka Mac Gargan. Once a private detective of disrespectful status, Mac Gargan was hardly in a place to turn down OzCorp’s offer after befalling tragedy and desperation. Unlike his fellow bugs, he tends to question a lot of his commands, and is well aware of the quote “hinky crap” going down behind the lab doors of OsCorp- but the pay grade is nice. And the benefits, well, the benefits are killer. Besides, he’s gotten to know the personality of his symbiotic armor well...and wouldn’t abandon him back to OzCorp’s nonexistent mercies by quitting.

BEETLE aka Abby Jenkins. Previously an engineer with white collar criminal aspirations, Abby Jenkins was hardly in a place to turn down OzCorp’s offer after befalling tragedy and desperation. Having bonded well with her symbiotic armor, she’s enjoying the steady work and respect she finds with OzCorp, and gets to spend her spare time tinkering with projects amongst brilliant inventors she’d have never had a chance to rub elbows with before!

FLY aka Richie Deacon. A career small-time criminal, Richie Deacon spent most of his life in and out of prison, halfway houses, and shelters, and was hardly in a place to turn down OzCorp’s offer after befalling a particular tragedy and desperation. Now they don’t care much about the work they do, happy to do whatever OzCorp asks in exchange for living a cushy life, even if it means having to wear the gross symbiotic armor. Still, small price to pay to fly!

SHR- i mean -SHOCKER aka Herman Schultz. Another career criminal, Herman Schultz worked as muscle for a few crime families in various cities, before getting bounced out of almost all of them and directly into OzCorp’s loving arms. No tragedy or desperation needed to convince him to get into a suit of powered armor (even if it’s more or less a giant lobster as far as he’s concerned) and start breaking things at a whim! Besides, everything at OzCorp is so damn weird, he’s never been more entertained anywhere in his life!

ELECTRO aka Max Voltage. Once one of OzCorp’s many test animals, an electric “eel” cobbled together out of various types of electric fish and a hodgepodge of other animals, Max taking on human traits was, well...an accident, but a happy one. Now settled into a form distinctly human, with intelligence to match (though some would argue otherwise) Max is capable of incredible feats of electrical manipulation and sensitivity beyond any creature in it’s creation!

DOCTOR OCTOPUS aka Octavia Otto. Respected young researcher and lead scientist of many OzCorp projects, Octavia Otto was caught in the backlash of an experiment that ultimately fused her with a number of test subjects, hyper-adaptive octopuses...except she’s continued to mutate and change, in ways nobody else can quite pin down (but it’s okay, she’s keeping rigorous, detailed notes on the process! For science!) and has assisted OzCorp’s goals since, happy to have a constant source of supplies and test subjects to work with. Her and Aggie Appleton had...history, before this all went down, too, so that’s not awkward at all!

RHINO aka Aleksei Sytsevich. Arriving in America as Anna Kravenoff’s bodyguard, Aleksei found himself out of work before long as Anna hastily shucked her father’s protections of her and kicked him unceremoniously out of her life. Once OzCorp decided he’d make a fine test subject, well, he’s been a professional mook for most of his life and didn’t have many complaints about the improved size, strength, and toughness. Aleksei may put on a blithe, dopey exterior, but he’s far too controlled to be an actual fool...which makes him quite dangerous, even if he only does as OzCorp asks.

THE SPOT aka Joon-Woo Ohnn. The Spot’s creation is a sort of mystery, even to himself and to OzCorp. An experiment, a failure, and...Dr. Ohnn is still certainly alive and aware, but some sort of bizarre 3D shadow cast by, well, wherever he is. While unable to speak, Ohnn is still fully capable of serving OzCorp, with his ability to function as a series of wormholes and perform strange acts of teleportation.

MYSTER.IO aka Mysterio aka thecrystalball aka The Mystery aka ??? aka aka aka aka aka..... Myster.io is a digital character- either a face for someone distant and anonymous, or many someones, or perhaps some sort of self-aware AI, Mysterio’s story changes every time he tells it and that’s just how it should be! This bizarre digital being pops up on people’s devices and is an information gatherer and peddler, always happy to tweak reality to better suite someone’s needs for a price.

KRAVEN the HUNTRESS aka Ana Kravenoff aka Kraven Jr. aka Lady Anastasia Kravenoff. Kraven the Hunter was a star, a legend- a man who battled beasts and travelled to impossible places and rose to reclaim an ancient family legacy, he was famous and infamous alike, and regardless of if you loved or hated him- he was a household name across the globe. Ana would like that. Ana might have been shipped off to America to live a carefully tailored “normal” life by her father and his estate, but Ana has aspirations that greatly outstrip those of her brothers and a goal to match her father’s infamy someday! But until she can secure a show, she hunts monsters for YouTube and enjoys her modest cult following- especially since she’s found a way to attend college in a sleepy Midwestern City that just happens to have a lot of monster-related issues. Her current target? Spider-Woman!

#spidersona #itsy-bitsy #itsyverse #spider-woman #green goblin #venom #carnage #black cat #scorpion #beetle #fly #shocker #electro #doctor octopus #rhino #the spot #mysterio #kraven #ana kravinoff

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rockislandadultreads · 4 years ago

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Brain Food: books about the human mind

From Bacteria to Bach and Back: The Evolution of Minds by Daniel C. Dennett

How did we come to have minds? For centuries, poets, philosophers, psychologists, and physicists have wondered how the human mind developed its unrivaled abilities. Disciples of Darwin have explained how natural selection produced plants, but what about the human mind? In From Bacteria to Bach and Back, Daniel C. Dennett builds on recent discoveries from biology and computer science to show, step by step, how a comprehending mind could in fact have arisen from a mindless process of natural selection. A crucial shift occurred when humans developed the ability to share memes, or ways of doing things not based in genetic instinct. Competition among memes produced thinking tools powerful enough that our minds don’t just perceive and react, they create and comprehend. An agenda-setting book for a new generation of philosophers and scientists, From Bacteria to Bach and Back will delight and entertain all those curious about how the mind works.

The Tale of the Dueling Neurosurgeons: The History of the Human Brain as Revealed by True Stories of Trauma, Madness, and Recovery by Sam Kean

From the author of the bestseller The Disappearing Spoon, tales of the brain and the history of neuroscience. Early studies of the functions of the human brain used a simple method: wait for misfortune to strike-strokes, seizures, infectious diseases, lobotomies, horrendous accidents-and see how the victim coped. In many cases survival was miraculous, and observers could only marvel at the transformations that took place afterward, altering victims' personalities. An injury to one section can leave a person unable to recognize loved ones; some brain trauma can even make you a pathological gambler, pedophile, or liar. But a few scientists realized that these injuries were an opportunity for studying brain function at its extremes. With lucid explanations and incisive wit, Sam Kean explains the brain's secret passageways while recounting forgotten stories of common people whose struggles, resiliency, and deep humanity made modern neuroscience possible.

The Self Beyond Itself: An Alternative History of Ethics, the New Brain Sciences, and the Myth of Free Will by Heidi Ravven

Few concepts are more unshakable in Western culture than free will, the idea that people are fundamentally free to make good or bad decisions. Scholar Heidi M. Ravven throws a wrench into this conventional view, calling free will a myth that reflects the still-powerful influence of Christian theology on our popular thinking. The Self Beyond Itself offers a riveting and accessible review of modern neuroscientific research into the brain's capacity for decision-making — from mirror neurons and self-mapping to surprising new understandings of the dynamics of group psychology. Ultimately, this research points to the profound, virtually inescapable social influences on moral choices. Ravven shows that it is possible to build a theory of ethics that doesn't rely on free will yet still holds both individuals and groups responsible for the decisions that help create a good society. Drawing especially on the work of Spinoza, she introduces readers to a rich philosophical tradition that finds uncanny confirmation in modern neuroscience. The Undoing Project: A Friendship That Changed Our Minds by Michael Lewis

Forty years ago, Israeli psychologists Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky wrote a series of breathtakingly original papers that invented the field of behavioral economics. One of the greatest partnerships in the history of science, Kahneman and Tversky’s extraordinary friendship incited a revolution in Big Data studies, advanced evidence-based medicine, led to a new approach to government regulation, and made much of Michael Lewis’s own work possible. In The Undoing Project, Lewis shows how their Nobel Prize–winning theory of the mind altered our perception of reality.

The Science of Sin: The Psychology of the Seven Deadlies (and Why They Are So Good For You) by Simon M. Laham

Pride, lust, gluttony, greed, envy, sloth, and anger. They’re considered “deadly” because of their capacity to generate other evils. The truth is, we all sin and we do it all the time—in fact, usually several times over before breakfast! But human behavior, argues social psychologist Simon Laham, is more complex than “good” or “evil.” In psychology, these sins aren’t considered morally wrong or even uniformly bad, but are treated rather as complex and interesting psychological states that if, indulged wisely, can be functional, adaptive, and lead to a range of positive effects. The Science of Sin takes on these so-called sins one by one and through psychological research shows that being bad can be oh-so-good for you. Did you know that: · Being slow and lazy can help you win the race? · Anger makes you more open-minded? · Coveting what others have not only makes you more creative but bolsters self- esteem? So go ahead, eat that last cookie and kick back on the couch for a day of TV with your neighbor’s boyfriend—from gluttony to greed, envy to lust, Laham shows how even the deadliest, most decadent of vices can make you smart, successful, and happy.

Idiot Brain: What Your Head Is Really Up To by Dean Burnett

The brain is an absolute marvel—the seat of our consciousness, the pinnacle (so far) of evolutionary progress, and the engine of human experience. But it’s also messy, fallible, and about 50,000 years out of date. We cling to superstitions, remember faces but not names, miss things sitting right in front of us, and lie awake at night while our brains endlessly replay our greatest fears. Idiot Brain is for anyone who has ever wondered why their brain appears to be sabotaging their life—and what on earth it is really up to.

#nonfiction #non-fiction #nonfiction books #physcology #brain books #the human mind #science #science books #reading recommendations #book recs #library #to read #tbr #booklr #booklist

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noddytheornithopod · 4 years ago

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top 5 video games?

(For this)

I’m going to list five franchises and list specific games there because I’d feel bad if I let one take up the majority of space here. In no specific order besides maybe how easily they come up in my mind right now:

Danganronpa: No surprise to anyone who’s known me over the past two years. Visual novels watching a dwindling cast of characters as they’re all murdered was not something I ever expected to get into. Even if there’s some very obvious problematic stuff, the engaging story and characters sucked me in completely. The main trilogy of games are all pretty close in terms of how much I love them. Even if I have a very special place in my heart for the original Trigger Happy Havoc (particularly because Kyoko Kirigiri is still probably my favourite character in the series, but also because it had to set up this entire world and has a level of groundedness and realism to it that makes it stand out), my favourite is definitely V3: Killing Harmony. Favourite cast, favourite score, favourite trial (THAT FIRST TRIAL WILL FOREVER HAUNT ME AND BREAK MY HEART), my favourite... almost everything. Some of the art is a bit wonky and there’s of course the usual problematic missteps (*shakes fist* Angie!!!!), and the third trial is ironically one of the weakest for me, but when it hits, it hits HARD. Still not over stuff like the impact of Kokichi Oma and the game’s ultimate twist and what it ended up meaning for basically everything.

Little Nightmares: Anyone paying attention to my tumblr may have noticed this crop up occasionally on my blog. I pretty much got into this on accident, an artist I followed was streaming the first game, and that subsequently reminded me of seeing it on a YouTube I follow and liking how the game looked there. Not one for straight up horror usually, but I appreciate more atmospheric stuff like this. Of course there’s the usual very sus things you expect from the genre (seriously, did a fat person hurt someone at Tarsier Studios???), and I will say that I’m not used to puzzle solving that involves a lot of lateral thinking so that did annoy me sometimes (or maybe I just suck with my aging mid-twenties brain lol), but I’m really happy to have a horror experience that isn’t soft on you but also isn’t overwhelming and indulgent in things like gore and jumpscares. I also like the world that’s been created, especially after Little Nightmares 2, which is easily my favourite of the games. Why? Well, besides just naturally evolving and improving from the first game, the story hits a lot harder. I went into the game expecting scary times, but I came out utterly heartbroken and stunned at the twist at the end and all of its implications. It’s all very abstract, sure, but I think that adds to the power of many of these moments.

Crash Bandicoot: Probably the franchise that’s stuck with me the longest, playing these games is almost like second nature to me. I definitely think the cartoony nature of the games and their wide cast of characters helped draw me in, too. My favourite is probably Crash Bandicoot 2, I feel like it was expansive and varied enough while not going as overboard with stuff like vehicles. That being said, I definitely think Crash Bandicoot 4 is rivaling that position, it manages to keep that classic gameplay while escalating pretty much everything in a way that I appreciate. Also have to say I love Crash Team Racing, I’m especially happy with Beenox remaking the game. The original trilogy and the newest Crash 4 are probably the most polished games for me out of the main ones, but I also have a soft spot for Mind over Mutant, which I know is blasphemous to many fans, but I just really like how the game utilises the characters and humour there for the most part, and it’s surprisingly good at worldbuilding and tying to the rest of the series despite on the surface appearing very different.

Spyro: Yeah, given my interest in Crash it’s not a surprise I like the Spyro games, being a sibling franchise in a sense. The games are just really easy and fun to get into. Well, the original trilogy anyway. Everything after it is... something alright. I actually think the Legend of Spyro games are probably the best we got after the original trilogy, because they at least were willing to do their own thing. Dawn of the Dragon was frustrating to play, but from what I understand it was even more rushed and had more budget issues than even the others in the trilogy so yeah. Favourite Spyro is definitely Year of the Dragon. It’s a nice midpoint between the first two games even if overall it’s basically Spyro 2 but done way better. People see it as a rehash and running out of ideas (and I mean the latter wasn’t true, that’s why we’re playing as a flying penguin and space monkey as part of a larger cast of characters lol), to me Spyro 2 has just a lot of issues that 3 is honestly just what the game would be if it were more polished and thought out. I definitely have a soft spot for the original Spyro the Dragon too, sometimes simple treasure hunting and dragon saving is all you need, and it probably has the most fun exploration to it.

Ratchet and Clank: Spyro came from Insomniac games, so when they dabbled back in platforming, I eventually found Ratchet and Clank too. Hybrid platformer/third person shooter with ridiculous weapons and gadgets? Sold. Favourite game is honestly a hard pick. You can tell in the PS2 era they were trying to figure out what exactly they wanted to be, so the Future games definitely are more polished overall in terms of gameplay. Even with this, I really like the PS2 games, they have a satirical edge to them (well, ignoring whatever 3 thought satire was lol) and the first two games having more platforming is really cool. If I had to pick a favourite it would probably be the second game, it was the first Ratchet game to really lean into the weapons more. Even so I really like the first game being quite unique (and it probably has the best story in this era), Deadlocked while at first was a bit too edgelord for me has really grown on me with really honing in on specific things to focus on, and well Up Your Arsenal even if I find some things about it weird (mainly in terms of story) it’s still a really fun game that solidified what the second created. I’m not as into the PS3 and beyond games from a story perspective, but like I said I do think the games are more polished overall. A Crack in Time is definitely my favourite, mainly because they got the story to work best out of the new space opera tone the Future series was going for (nonsensical time travel rules aside). It also has probably my favourite boss in the series, the final one really surprised me when I first saw it and it still sticks out in my mind. Also have a soft spot for Into the Nexus, which even if it’s too short and probably a bit undercooked (eww low framerate) has a really unique tone to it that I’d love to see returned to someday.

#ask #meme #angelicgarnet

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aion-rsa · 4 years ago

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Fargo Season 4 Finale Post-Credits Scene Explained

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This Fargo article contains spoilers for the season 4 finale.

Fargo season 4’s finale, “Storia Americana,” wraps up an uneven season of FX’s crime series about as effectively as one could have hoped. The hour is thematically consistent, if a little short (which may have had something to do with the final two episodes’ abbreviated COVID-19 production schedule). In true Fargo fashion, the season ends with plenty of our main characters dead. Josto Fadda (Jason Schwartzman) is killed for not properly realizing the power of his own family (and for a simple misunderstanding with killer nurse Oraetta Mayflower), while Loy Cannon (Chris Rock) is killed for underestimating the power of another family.

All in all, “Storia Americana” tells a rather complete story…or storia. But then, Fargo showrunner and this episode’s writer Noah Hawley decides to give viewers one more post-credits scene for the road. The post-credit scene in “Storia Americana” brings back a beloved actor and character from the show’s second (and best) season, and ties him into the loose Fargo continuity in a rather effective way. Here is what you need to know about the post-credit scene from this season 4 finale.

Midway through the Fargo season 4 finale credits, the black screen slowly gives way to a cracked asphalt road somewhere out in the American Midwest. Then the camera pans up to find a car driving down that lonely highway. Sitting in the backseat of that car is none other than Mike Milligan (Bokeem Woodbine). Mike was one of the central antagonists from Fargo season 2 – a charismatic and talkative enforcer sent by the Kansas City mob to deal with the Gerhardt family, Fargo’s most notable crime syndicate in the ‘70s. Driving the car is one of the two Kitchen brothers (Wayne and Gale, played by Brad and Tood Mann), who served as Mike’s bodymen.

As Mike looks out the window, a scene of Loy Cannon’s son Michael a.k.a. “Satchel” walking down the road after escaping the Faddas fades in and is displayed beside Mike’s face. The implication here is clear. As many viewers have long-suspected, Michael “Satchel” Cannon grows up to be Mike Milligan. It turns out that being traded from one crime family to another, experiencing that new family trying to murder you, only to return home to one’s birth father just in time to watch him die is a compelling formula for how to create a murderer.

Fargo, bless it, was never shy about dropping clues to Satchel’s ultimate fate. In the first minutes of season 4’s premiere, the show reveals that one of Kansas City’s earliest gangs is the Irish crime family known as “The Milligan Concern.” This set off some alarm bells for Fargo fans, who are presumably always thinking about Mike Milligan. They knew a guy named Milligan, and he came from Kansas City after all!

Of course, the Milligan Concern was not long for this world, edged out first by a Jewish gang, and then by an Italian one. The name lived on, however, in the form of Patrick “Rabbi” Milligan (Ben Wishaw). Rabbi Milligan is so-named because he was traded by his Irish family to the Moskowitz Syndicate. After a few years, Rabbi helped his old family take out his new one and the Moskowitzes were annihilated. Then, when the Fadda Family came to town, Rabbi’s father humiliated him by trading him again instead of his younger brother. Rabbi then helped the Faddas take out his own family, including him personally executing his own father.

Throughout the series Rabbi Milligan proves to be a valuable companion to Satchel Cannon, after Satchel himself is traded to the Fadda Family. If there’s anything that Rabbi knows, it’s what it feels like to be traded as part of a power-sharing agreement between two crime families. Rabbi and young Satchel a.k.a Mike Milligan grew close, and when the order came down from Josto to kill Satchel, Rabbi saved the boy’s life and the pair hit the road together. Rabbi saved Mike’s life once again, but in the process was carried off by a tornado (because Fargo). This sent Mike out on the road alone with only his motel terrier buddy Rabbit for company.

Perhaps Mike had eyes on returning to a “normal” life when he finally arrived home and reconnected with his father. But any hope of that ended with one gunshot from Zelmare Roulette (Karen Aldridge). Mike then presumably found his way into the life of crime like his father. Unlike his father, however, he was unable to establish his own crime family. As the Fargo season 4 finale makes clear, the days of boutique little crime families are coming to an end. The Italian mafia has infiltrated just about every meaningful aspect of organized crime in every major city. Any other crime syndicates will serve at the Italian mob’s pleasure. And it would seem that that’s just what Mike Milligan does.

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The adult Mike Milligan is a highly proficient negotiator, diplomat, and killer. The Kansas City mob is happy to work with him because he gets things done…and can deftly recite Lewis Carroll’s “Jabberwocky” from memory. Earlier on in Fargo season 4, a character named Joe Bulo was introduced to Josto. Joe Bulo is actually a character in Fargo season 2 (played by Brad Garrett), and it is he who convinces the Kansas City crime family to send Mike Milligan north to shore things up with the Gerhardts. It now seems clear that Joe Bulo being introduced this season was no accident and it is he who helps transition one-time Fadda family member Mike “Satchel” Cannon deeper into the crime world. And when Mike enters into that world, he adopts the name of Rabbi Milligan, the man who saved his life over and over again.

Each season of Fargo is distinct and is intended to be appreciated on its own merits. Through four seasons now, however, the show has filled out its modest canon here and there. Season 2 previously revealed that Dodd Gerhardt’s helper Hanzee Dent (Zahn McClarnon) received plastic surgery to become Fargo mob leader Moses Tripoli. Season 3 also had some tenuous ties back to season 2, including the existence of Mr. Wrench. It’s this Mike Milligan reveal though that proves once and for all just how deep the Fargo rabbit hole can go.

The post Fargo Season 4 Finale Post-Credits Scene Explained appeared first on Den of Geek.

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nerdycatastrophe · 4 years ago

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Idk did some pixel art and I’m now gonna attach my danganronpa fancharacter biographies because I can :DD (sprite edits, character details and designs are subject to change btw and this very post will be re-blogged everytime I edit something.)

W/ SCARF AND BEANIE

Name and Talent:

Ikani Rinyu, Ultimate Digital/Multimedia Artist

Birth Date and Age:

February 13, 16 years old

Race and Ethnicity:

Polynesian Japanese // Filipino Japanese

Accent:

Japanese, just...japanese.

Blood Type:

A+

Weight and Height:

128 lbs, 5'2 ft

Mental or Physical disorders:

Recovering Pyromaniac (I’m still researching about Inattentive ADHD and if this oc has accurate symptoms) and Peptic Ulcer

Sex, Pronouns and Gender identity:

Biologically Female, Prefer She/Her/Herself & They/Them/Themself or any pronouns & Demi-girl

Sexual and Romantic orientation:

Asexual Biromantic

Religion / Belief:

Agnostic

Other Hobbies:

Cooking, Baking, Making things out of matchsticks and wood and Drawing traditionally.

Likes:

Making digital artworks, playing with match sticks and flowers.

Loves:

The idea of setting things on fire or being around fire (for emotional reasons and urges) and warmth.

Dislikes:

Theft-related activity, acidic food and seafood.

Despises:

The idea of water and feeling cold.

Personality type and traits: ISFP

(INTROVERTED;SENSING;FEELER;PERCEIVING)

Personality description:

Ikani is mostly self-aware of reality’s hardships yet tend to keep up an ‘’whatever goes, is what happen and I cannot potentially do anything to change that.’’ carefree, reckless, will only believe when she has seen attitude that pretends to be a healthy optimistic nihilist way of dealing with life but when unmasked turns out to be a faulty uncertain self-hate of pessimism that pretends to be optimistic or a realist way of thinking and solving problems. This can badly affects her creative ability to do any problem solving, thinking outside the box or standing up for herself and the people she loves alone unless she has encountered that situation before or has help from someone with far more experience. She does not rebel that much to authority or dictatorship as she believes rules are rules or the law is the law and whatever unintended consequences that follow or reports of abuse of power are normal and natural but she’s open-minded and adaptable enough to consider changing rules and regulations peacefully if she’s convinced or confident enough. Either way, Whatever happens is whatever happens in the present and she won’t make any effort to neither change or preserve any rules or laws that much. She, most of the time, follows whatever happens in the present world with no consideration for the consequences that would follow because she doesn’t like to think philosophically or overthink.

Habits:

Stimming, flapping hands around, running around in circles when stressed, excited, happy, confused or afraid if she can’t bottle up her emotions, Running away from problems as much as possible (literally and figuratively) and bottling up her feelings. Also tends to get distracted and daydreams a lot yet when it’s her turn to talk about herself she goes a little overboard which can put off people and assume she is selfish. (when it’s just a habit she does)

Character morality alignment:

Lawful Neutral <-> Neutral Good

Name Etymology and Shenanigans 1:

Ikani Rinyu once translated from Japanese to English respectively means ‘’How’’ and ‘’Renew’’ forming the phrase, ‘’How renew.’’

Name Etymology and Shenanigans 2:

Mess with the letters on Ikani and you’ll get ‘’Ikanai’’ which means ‘’Don’t go’’ referring to her brother, ‘’Ika’’ which means ‘’not exceeding’’, ‘’Kanai’’ which means ‘’Flower’’, ‘’Kani’’ which means ‘’crab’’, ‘’Ikan’’ which means ‘’Fish’’, ‘’Ani’’ which is another term for ‘’brother’’ and ‘’Ni’’ which means ‘’to go’’

Name Etymology and Shenanigans 3:

Mess with the letters on Rinyu and you’ll get ‘’Rin’’ which means ‘’Cold’’ in Japanese and ‘’Dignified’’ or ‘’Severe’’ in Italian, ‘’Inu’’ which means ‘’Dog’’, and ‘’Rinu’’ which can mean ‘’Freelance of flowers’’ and ‘’Beautiful’’ or ‘’Pretty’’ in Indian.

Zodiac and Planet:

She is an Aquarius and is assigned the planet Uranus based on her zodiac.

Backstory:

Ikani Rinyu was born as a second child to a worker class family (Rinyu family) who mostly had time for her. Many years went by and her parents had to focus on things they deemed far more important in order to sustain a family with regular income. Her family’s income condition worsened when the day before Ikani 7th birthday, She, her brother and her parents were robbed of a lot of yen at gun-point by a gang after they went to the store and bought a digital tablet for her as a gift (because they felt as if they were neglecting Ikani because of work). After the incident happened, Ikani's mother divorced with her husband because it turned out that Ikani's father had connections with the gang that robbed them and never told her about it. Another reason for her parents divorce is that both of her father and mother had an underlying conflict in which both were never really interested in each other and only agreed to marry back when they were friends so that they can decrease their tax and avoid debt and they both felt guilty about divorcing each other because both felt that they were selfish with their underlying mutual motivations for marriage, they were still saving up money and investing and couldn’t afford to divorce early, and that divorcing will affect their children greatly if they will be honest about it to them at an early age (suprise suprise, bottling up your feelings worsens everything, yourself and everyone around you). This robbery incident went mainstream after the time Ikani’s mother divorced Ikani’s father and her remaining family was secretly interviewed by a group of ''journalists'' and this is how (insert academy name) found and scouted Ikani just so they can replace and -cover up an ultimate's death.- So her mom and the group of journalists made a contract in exchange for financial gain and basically free education for Ikani and her brother and also medical + financial insurance. Ikani started setting things on fire (mostly flowers, sticks and wood) on ‘’accident’’ just to gain attention from her busy mom, brother and everyone else she was close to and was forming a relationship with, in which her ‘’habits’’ slowly spiralled and developed into impulsive Pyromania because she felt that she was never loved enough + with her parents divorce taking a toll on her (her brother tried to help but also didn't know what to do and was busy with their own school). Around this time, she also felt like eating would decrease her family's money greatly so she tried skipped eating snacks at school but not basic meals yet she still developed peptic ulcer. On her 11th birthday, Ikani’s brother finally took a stand and consulted a ‘’reliable’’ therapist/psychiatrist and a dietician (who helped with the insert academy's goals) despite it being expensive and discouraged by her mom. Her therapist/psychiatrist then noted to her parents that Ikani should focus more on expressing her emotions in more artistic and creative ways in order to cope with her bottled up emotions, trauma and urges and using the digital tablet she got at age 7 when everything was still relatively alright should be a good head start. Her dietician also helped her with resolving her peptic ulcer and convinced her that she shouldn't feel bad about eating extra snacks and set out a diet for her to follow. Soon, The academy’s contract money given to her parents was enough to sustain her creative urges as Ikani eventually learned to create moving and still digital artworks including complex 3d and photography by simply using her tablet that had limited features over the years despite her age as she contributed to many famous and iconic company logos, designs, presentations, artworks, animations, movies, edits and videos that are found in the media. Over the years, Ikani secretly wished that the contract would stop as that diverted corporate's financial wants for themselves because of her hidden relations with the academy journalists and she wishes she was never born and regretted that time she was too ''needy'' at age 7 (she shouldn't blame herself though) but never took her own ground against it to her mom as she felt like she was selfish for wanting to do something her mom didn't desire so she ended up ONLY EVER venting her emotions through her work/hobby and sometimes forgot how to express her emotions.

Reasons for acting the way she does during the killing game:

The reason why she doesn’t vent her emotions and only bottles it up during the killing game is because just like in the original Danganronpa series, Monokuma would confiscate your belongings that allowed access to communicating with the outside world (and it just turned out her only venting item was a digital tablet that would probably screw up Monokuma) Also, it’s because the idea of ‘’Survival of the Fittest.’’, ‘’Being weak will kill you.’’ and ‘’No time for crying because it is not yet over’’ is in her head all the time + fear of being impulsive again and accidentally resurfacing her Pyromania and basically rendering her brother’s efforts to help her with her problems useless so yeah she’s guilty of wanting to feel emotions so she eventually becomes numb to the things happening around her. All of these are her ways of justifying being emotionless, being unintentionally ignorant and coping with loss and grief in a dangerous game that could kill you any moment.

Student percentile, Predictability and chances:

>Gets killed normally: 30%

>Punished and killed for breaking rules OR due to unfair trial misconduct shenanigans because plot: 4.6%

>ATTEMPTED to murder someone: 20%

>Blackened AND escapes: 10.5%

>Blackened BUT executed: 25.5 %

>Killed someone BUT died during or before their murder trial: 9%

>Betrays everyone as the MASTERMIND: 1.5 %

>Betrays everyone as the MOLE // TRAITOR: 5.7 %

>Survives the killing game as an forever evil MOLE // TRAITOR // MASTERMIND in the killing game: 0.8 %

> Survives the killing game as a redeemed MOLE // TRAITOR // MASTERMIND in the killing game: 0.3 %

>Survives the killing game as a normal person in the killing game: 35%

W/ VISION CORRECTING VISORS

2. W/ VISION CORRECTING READING GLASSES

3. N/A EYEWEAR

Name and Talent:

Cyl Bol // Cyden Boliver ^ Ultimate Arcade Attendant

Birth Date and Age:

July 9 ^ 15 years old

Race and Ethnicity:

Dutch Japanese

Accent:

Russian mixed with Dutch and Japanese

Blood Type:

B-

Weight and Height:

100 lbs ^ 5'5 ft

Mental or Physical disorders:

Developing schizophrenia symptoms (I’m still researching on this so I’m not sure) and PAPD (Passive-Aggressive Disorder) and has genetic Albinism + Astigmatism.

Sex, Pronouns and Gender identity:

Biologically male, Any pronouns but They/Them/Themself and He/Him/Himself are preferred, Gender-fluid

Sexual and Romantic orientation:

Toric // Quadrisan or Viramoric

Religion / Belief:

Reformed // Progressive Judiasm (yeah, this the correct term-)

Other Hobbies:

Debate, Internet surfing, Meditation, Reading philosophical/theology books, Practicing first-aid methods and crushing herbs.

Likes:

Salt, Bread, Dieting (fasting), Figs, Bread, Wheat and Grains, Krupnik with meat

Loves:

Philosophy, Theology, Basic human rights, Debating, Eating Chopped Liver

Dislikes:

The taste of pork (im sorry for adding this if it feels a little bit racist but I genuinely hate pork and I wanted to add it to a character that fits it the most without being too ignorant and stereotypical while still making the character that dislikes pork have an actual personality and backstory other than just RELIGION stuff. keep in mind this character hates pork not because it’s ‘’unholy’’, it’s because it tastes horrible for them), Immature // Karen customers, His own talent, Seeds, Human contact, Getting sick and parties/social celebrations.

Despises:

Strict people, Strict rules, Strict regulations, Dense and stubborn optimists, Peer pressure, Being taunted for being weak // frail, The sun’s warmth and sunlight, Going outside, Backstabbers and being manipulated.

Personality type and traits: INTP

(INTROVERTED;INTUITIVE;THINKING;PERCEIVING)

Personality description:

Really really intentionally and maybe unintentionally paranoid, superstitious, ‘’weird’’ passive-aggressive and lonely since it's his way of avoiding unnecessary conversations that could drain out his energy for him to save up on topics he deems far more important (philosophy + theology) and people that could potentially hurt him again unless they specifically ask him or want something from him for a short // limited amount of time and say it extremely extremely politely to the point where he feels pity or someone out-smarts his passive-aggressiveness causing Cyl to do your favor immediately out of embarrassment, anger, frustration or getting flustered. Most of the time, Cyl has a rather nihilistic and pessimistic (but sometimes, realistic and optimistic at times) views and mindsets of life and would rather die rather than following strict regulations // rules. Although he is a passive type of Nihilist and knows there isn’t that much value in life despite searching it (even with religion), He still is sort of a coward and ends up helping other people out of pity, jealousy, admiration or respect and will still be willing to fight for people’s rights things society deems unworthy despite the odds and his diminishing motivation on doing so. Cyl prefers to be individualistic, thoughtful, overthink for hours, alone and free when it comes to him making decisions or going onto places. Although he’s an INTP, He allows his emotions to run wild at times (even if in the process, hurting other people whether he realizes it or not) which allows him to make thoughtfully calculated decisions without having the burden of emotions and mood. Because of his defiance against the norms, He can usually think outside the box and think of solutions quick enough to solve an underlying problem on time in an creative yet messy analytical manner. Also yeah he struggles following rules.

Habits:

Praying a bit too much than usual, Rapidly cleaning visor goggles // reading glasses even when not needed, Limping hands and fingers to relax hand tendons, muscles and bones and tugging at Hanukkah snow cap when embarrassed / flustered.

Character moral alignment:

Chaotic Neutral

Name Etymology and Shenanigans 1:

Cyl is an abbreviation of ‘’Cylinder’’ which indicates the lens power your doctor is prescribing to correct your astigmatism (and this oc has astigmatism)

Name Etymology and Shenanigans 2:

Bol can be an abbreivation for Broek Op Langedijk (a dutch town), Beacon of light, Bread of Life, Bolivia’s (sounds like Boliver) ISO Country code, Beginning Of Life and Balls Of Light (paranormal phenominon associated with crop circles) Name Etymology and Shenanigans 3:

Cyden is of English origin and means "To stand strong and be brave together as one" and Cayden is of American origin and means ‘’Fighter’’

Name Etymology and Shenanigans 4:

Bolivar is the name of the South American soldier that had a country (Bolivia) dedicated to him. Oliver is a boy name that means ‘’Descendant Of The Ancestor’’ in English, In latin it means Olive (symbol of peace); peaceful. Olive is a girl’s name meaning ‘’Olive tree’’ and is another symbol of peace.

Zodiac and Planet:

He is a Cancer and is assigned the ‘planet’ moon based on their zodiac.

Backstory:

N/A (ITS ALMOST 2 AM LOL MAYBE TOMORROW)

Student percentile, Predictability and chances:

N/A (ITS ALMOST 2 AM LOL MAYBE TOMORROW)

#Ikani Rinyu #Cyl Bol #Cyden Boliver #Ultimate Multi-Media Artist #Ultimate Arcade Attendant #Danganronpa : Even in Digital Equality #Danganronpa Pixel Art sprite #Danganronpa #Danganronpa Fancharacters #Danganronpa OCs

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blueberryraindrops · 4 years ago

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Blueberry’s Ultimate TUA Masterlist

KEY

Fics are organised alphabetically (articles e.g. ‘the’ will not count)

mostly gen and fiego fics

Download links are EPUB files only

authors can feel free to send me a msg if they want their fics’ download link taken down

Links are now unavailable on PC due to a Tumblr link limit (I also had no idea this was a thing, but apparently it is?)

Regular updates can be expected as long as I remain in the fandom

Last Update: 15/10/2020

FANFICTION

☁︎ actions are worth a thousand words by achilleees { E }

→ Download Here

“I think it would be best if we keep up the ruse for a short while longer,” Five said. “For the sake of time-space continuity.”

“Oh, so Klaus was right before, huh?” Diego said. “The fabric of the universe unravels if my hairdresser knows we’re not boning?”

☁︎ Adventures In Childhood [Series] by just_a_sunflower_girl { G / Partially WIP }

→ Download Here

Five really should have guessed that something would go wrong. The universe hated him, it was an abject fact. And right now, Five hated the universe right back.

The commission turns Five into a four year old, hoping it will make him easier to kill.

☁︎ all dressed up and naked by cathect { E }

→ Download Here

The skirt hanging off of it is pleated and pale pink, with two white stripes near the hem— like a cheerleader might wear, Diego thinks wildly— and Five looks almost awed. Diego doesn’t want to assume anything by an expression alone, but he can’t quite help it.

Before he can stop himself, the words are tumbling out. “That would look good on you.”

Or, the one where diego fucks five while he's wearing a skirt.

☁︎ another cog in the murder machine by Ford_Ye_Fiji { T }

→ Download Here

Five finally gets the breakdown he deserves

☁︎ As I Want You to Hear Me by karcheri { E }

→ Download Here

“It’s hard to explain.”

“Try me.”

Five sighs.

“I’m trying to prove that our current timeline has branched off from it’s initial trajectory by such a large margin that it could only have been caused by the existence of unknown variables interrupting the timeline at non-linear points throughout history. I believe that we are living in...let’s call it timeline 2.0.”

“I don’t understand,” Diego says. Nutcase, he thinks. Insanely hot nutcase.

This time Five smirks at him, looking bratty and arrogant and entirely too sharp; “I know you don’t.”

Or: What I like to imagine alternate/Sparrow Academy timeline 2019 Five and Diego are up to

☁︎ Bizarre For You Is Normal For Us by pupeez4eva { G }

→ Download Here

“I think he’s talking to himself again,” Ashley said, leaning forward. “Okay yeah he is — oh my god, is that kid talking to the mannequin?”

Maggie shot a glance behind her. Yes, the boy was talking to the top half of a mannequin.

“I love working here,” Ashley breathed.

Wherein Klaus, Dave, Five and Dolores go on a double date, and people are confused and very concerned.

☁︎ Blink by Lady_Origami { G }

→ Download Here

When Five blinks, sometimes he's back in the world of ash and embers. It's hard to remember how to breathe when that happens. In which Klaus tries to play the role of supportive brother with Ben's help, and Five struggles more than he lets on.

☁︎ Blood like Lemonade by Ford_Ye_Fiji { T }

→ Download Here

Hunting high and low to seek revenge, Brand new moral code, got made reluctant renegade. Leaving empty souls when he avenged, Evil spirits flowed he drank the blood like lemonade.

Five's sordid past comes to light in, quite possibly, the most unpleasant way

☁︎ Bloom by jenpix { E }

→ Download Here

The first thing he noticed was the heat. A sudden, overwhelming heat. It started by his neck, his throat tightening, cutting off oxygen to his brain. The heat spread lower, permeating throughout his chest and abdomen, focusing and growing in his groin. Every inch of his skin was on fire. He couldn’t breathe; he couldn’t think. He needed something- anything- to relieve the ache that had abruptly settled in his bones. Lust utterly consumed him.

“Something’s wrong.” Diego concluded.

☁︎ Call Me Wild Thing by Electra_XT { E }

→ Download Here

“Diego’s been screwing guys who look exactly like you,” Klaus said.

“True,” Five said.

“He acts embarrassed when you encounter him with one of these lookalikes,” Klaus said.

“True,” Five said.

“You want to bang him,” Klaus said.

Five hesitated.

☁︎ Comes And Goes (In Waves) [Series] by hujwernoo { M }

→ Download Here

The apocalypse happens, Five arrives in the rubble, and his entire family is dead.

However, one of them has power over ghosts. And even if being dead seriously sucks sometimes, Klaus is going to be there for his brother.

☁︎ Dead Aren't Good Company, The by RosyPages { G }

→ Download Here

They’d been back in time for less than a month when their father forced Klaus back into the mausoleum.

But maybe this time his family can do the right thing.

☁︎ Details [Series] by VeteranKlaus { T }

→ Download Here

The last time Klaus saw his siblings was at Allison and Patrick's wedding. A lot had changed since then; including the not-so-accidental, irreversible loss of his sight.

There's no time to tell them that, though. Not with the return of their long-presumed-dead brother and the impending apocalypse. Plus, it doesn't matter. He's got Ben as a good seeing-eye ghost.

☁︎ Digging Up The Past by FiveUmbrellaAcademy { E / WIP }

→ Download Here

"You want to roleplay me being raped." Five muses, stirring his margarita. He plucks out the tiny umbrella and leaves it abandoned on the edge of the table.

Diego splutters, before glancing wildly over his shoulders.

Five and Diego are in a busy bar, and Diego had absentmindedly suggested Five looking particularly hot, especially when he's pliant, almost as if he's being -

"What the fuck? Shut up, Five." Diego hisses, eyes darting around. "Anyone can hear you."

Five says nothing.

Or: Unfortunately, the roleplay triggers a memory Five desperately wishes he'd forget.

☁︎ do androids dream of electric sheep? by the_crownless_queen { T }

→ Download Here

Number Four is crying, and Grace was made to care for those children.

In which Grace was created to protect the children of the Academy. Even, as it turns out, from their father.

☁︎ don't waste your time (or time will waste you) by rosewitchx { T }

→ Download Here

He was an old man. He is sixteen. Ben dies next week. How does he know that?

“I think I broke it,” Five stutters, and for the first time in her short life Vanya sees absolute terror in his eyes.

Or, Five travels back again. Something goes wrong.

☁︎ Dulce Periculum (Danger Is Sweet) by Anonymous { E }

→ Download Here

Klaus swallows heavily.

He brings up the hand that says “Goodbye” on the palm up to Five's hair and rakes his fingers through the strands. When Klaus is blessed with a high pitched whine, he knows he's done for.

or: Five wants something stronger than alcohol.

☁︎ Fighting (Pre)Determinism by chibi_tantei { T / WIP }

→ Download Here

They go back in time, determined to rewrite their own family history. Only problem is, only one of them looks the proper age to get near their younger selves.

Or, six months after Five stormed out, determined to time travel, he returns home. His siblings are happy to have him back, but he's acting differently...

(Or, Five goes undercover as himself. Twice the siblings should make saving the world easier, right? Yet somehow, he's only now realizing how many issues his family has to fix.)

☁︎ Five and Dave's Life Changing (Life Saving) Field Trip by neuronary { T }

→ Download Here

The little boy, who Dave could now see was not as little as he’d first thought, shoved a tin mug at him. “Drink this.”

Dave drank. It tasted sickly sweet and slightly citrus-y. “Who are you?”

“Five.” The boy’s scowl deepened at Dave’s confusion. “Klaus’ brother.”

Or, Five saves Dave's life to stop Klaus from moping. From Dave's perspective, a very grouchy, sleep-deprived twelve-year-old kidnaps him and he finds it much more entertaining than he should.

☁︎ Five And Diego Take Ukraine by yawarakai { G }

→ Download Here

It’s definitely her. She's around fifty, and striking – Diego can see where his brother gets his features. Light skin, grey eyes, hair dark and straight, slim. She’s a carbon copy of the boy standing before her.

“Da?” Five’s mother asks warily.

☁︎ Forward Trajectory by karcheri { M }

→ Download Here

“Ha ha,” the cop replies,” How’s your little troupe of nerds today anyways?”

His Professor groans, burying his face in the man’s neck and Nick winces. He should’ve anticipated that answer.

“That bad, huh?”

Or: Every semester students work themselves to the bone to score the highest mark on Professor Five's final project.

☁︎ Ghost Math by pinstripedJackalope { G }

→ Download Here

Number Five needs a new hobby now that the apocalypse is off. He decides to help Klaus--and in turn maybe he'll help himself.

☁︎ game of waiting, a by sky_blue_hightops { G }

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He was always the fastest. He always beat the others up the stairs, down the halls, through time and space. If there's one lesson he's learned, it's that there's always a finish line. A stopping place. Blood bubbles from between his fingers, and suddenly there's no air in his lungs.

Five jumps in front of a bullet. He calls it quick reflexes. Diego calls it stupidity.

☁︎ Gift-Wrapped by punk_rock_yuppie { E }

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Diego discovers Five's secret.

☁︎ god-intoxicated by chrysostomos (nantes) { E }

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Of all the things Diego expected to get dragged into this month, meeting a mythological witch, finding out Five is married, and rescuing him from his unwanted sun god husband were not on the list.

☁︎ handling myself by achilleees { E }

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Five pressed his lips together. “I advise against… touching them with your bare hands,” he said, taking the pills out of his pocket and dropping them into Diego’s gloved palm. “It would be unwise.”

In the light streaming from the Academy windows, Diego could see the sheen of sweat on his skin, trickling down his temple.

“Oh my god,” Diego said, starting to laugh.

☁︎ Happy Accidents by Starrstruck_64 { G }

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You’re making a mess, is what Diego wants to snap back. Instead he hears his mom’s voice clear as day say ‘boys will be boys’ and without thinking he’s moving on autopilot.

Diego can feel his hands clenching rhythmically at his sides before he’s moving forward to take the bowl from Klaus and ripping the apron off in one smooth motion. Discarding the bowl to the side he works on getting the strings untangled and slips the apron over his own clothes.

“Out.”

He has so much work to do. The pancake is beyond salvaging, the kitchen is a mess, and he’s fairly certain the batter is inedible.

Aka: the fic where Diego’s mothering instincts go wild

☁︎ haven't you heard of meditation? by rosesareredvioletsareblue { T }

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"Klaus, you have a piece of glass sticking out of your neck!"

Klaus felt for the glass, wincing as he found it.

"Oh yeah. Fun." It took all of Five's willpower not to throttle him.

☁︎ Hidden Variables Theory, The by siriuspiggyback { T }

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Something has disturbed the space-time continuum, and it's up to Five to figure out what it is.

With a bit of luck, and a lot of alcohol, he might even manage to do it before he snaps and murders his siblings.

☁︎ Honey and Vinegar by JayTRobot { M }

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The Handler sends Five on a mission only he can complete - to seduce a known pedophile for information. Then kill him.

Five doesn't appreciate playing the honeypot.

☁︎ I Want It (I Got It) by Electra_XT { E }

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“Oh, Christ,” Five said, starting to grin. “Diego, no. Don’t tell me you’re actually into being called—”

“Shut up,” Diego muttered.

“It’s not sexy,” Five said. “It’s cliche and corny and macho and self-aggrandizing, and I’m disappointed in you.” He waited a beat. “Daddy.”

☁︎ i'm gonna be here til i'm nothing (but bones in the ground) by iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid { T }

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Someone definitely just punched him in the chest, right? That’s the reason for that feeling? Or that last batch of pills had something seriously off-label mixed into them. Because there’s no way. There’s no fucking way.

He squeezes his eyes shut until dots burst behind his eyelids, but when he opens them, the hallucination doesn’t go away.

“… Five?”

☁︎ I'm The Daddy? by TUA (IAMS) { G / WIP }

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Five spends fifteen years in the apocalypse and two years working for the Temps Commission before breaking his contract and time traveling back to the year 2003; just a year after he originally went missing.

According to his calculations, wiping Reginald's existence from the timeline means the apocalypse never occurs. But of course, this leaves several newly orphaned fourteen year olds in his care.

Let the family bonding and therapy ensue.

☁︎ if the sky comes falling down by synchronicities { T }

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The equations are still wrong.

In 2002, Number Seven wonders why her siblings are acting odd.

(Or, the post-finale “Vanya doesn’t remember the time travel” fic)

☁︎ If You're Different And You Know It (you're not alone) by M3zzaTh3M3z { T }

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Five was different. He’d always known. Different from most people, what with his freakish birth, powers and unconventional upbringing, all that old news. And different from his siblings. He was smarter. His powers were stronger. And he’d never picked a name. All that was old news too. But there was something else that separated him from the rest, something he didn’t know how to put a finger on, how to categorize, analyse, understand. Five didn’t like not understanding. It was probably Klaus that made him first notice something was off.

☁︎ Is the sadness everlasting? (love, I think it is) by ArmedWithMyComputer { T }

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A look into what Klaus' newly discovered ability could mean for the siblings.

Diego could feel his whole body trembling as he faced the ghosts, only able to take shallow breaths as he struggled to process the true horror of what he was seeing.

And then they started howling.

The sound pierced though his stupor and forced him to his knees instantly. It was like nothing Diego had ever experienced before, and he was consumed with the intensity and overwhelmed by a deep chilling fear. It felt as though his mind had been taken over and all he could hear was the shrieks of grief, more intense than any emotion he had ever felt.

☁︎ It Does(n't) Matter by MYSTERYstew { T }

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It’s a familiar feeling, being lifted up by Luther and tossed around like he weighs nothing (to Luther he certainly does), it was a favorite move of Luther’s as a child. Nostalgia is not what Five feels, he’s too busy flailing as Luther throws him over the railing.

or, Five fails a jump

☁︎ Jealousy Sucks by FiveUmbrellaAcademy { E / WIP }

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"God, Diego." Five rubbed his temples, sounding exasperated. "He's our brother."

"I'm your brother, too." Diego blurts out. Fuck, now he's sounding like an insecure, whiny boyfriend. Perfect.

Five just stares back at Diego, his eyebrows burrowing.

At the physical age of seventeen, Five has, in Klaus' words, grown up hot.

☁︎ Just One Minute by willowhisperer { T }

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Five holds up his end of the deal, soaked in blood. The Handler decides to toy with him a little while longer.

Maybe it's revenge, maybe she's riding the high of her shiny new position as head of the Commission.

Really, she just wants to win, once and for all.

☁︎ Kinktober Day 12 - Crossdressing by Multifangirl69 { E }

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The Umbrella Academy Kinktober Fest//Day 12

☁︎ Kitten Socks by sky_blue_hightops { G }

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Klaus's lost his favorite pair of socks (again) (Ben shut up) and finds them in an unexpected place.

☁︎ Lessons 'verse [Series] by Soulykins { T }

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Five was maybe four years old when he figured out that he was pretty much ride or die for his siblings. He was also four when he figured out that in the Umbrella Academy, you could never let Reginald Hargreeves figure out what you loved lest he use it against you. There was safety in aloof indifference, more than could be found anywhere else under their roof.

Five times Five Hargreeves protected his siblings the best ways he could, and the one time he failed.

☁︎ Lethe by shoelaces { T }

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Le·the | A river in Hades whose waters cause drinkers to forget their past.

Or: Five loses his memories instead of Vanya, and it falls to his siblings to raise a superpowered teenager in the 1960s, all whilst preserving their own new lives and preventing yet another apocalypse.

☁︎ Like an abyss by fridayyy { T }

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For the second time, Five has to (gets to?) grow up.

☁︎ Like Oxygen by sevansa { T }

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Klaus's powers may be a bit more extensive than just seeing the dead, he's not sure what to do about that.

The one where Klaus's power is not ghosts, but souls and that makes a hell of a difference.

☁︎ master of my domain by achilleees { E }

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“You’re asking five 13-year-old boys not to jerk off for – it can’t be done,” Luther says. “Now that we’re older, it would be different, but back then –”

“Excuse me, I could do it,” Five says. “I could certainly outlast all of you.”

They all look at each other.

“Oh, no,” says Allison.

☁︎ Meet the Hargreeves Siblings by AmyR { G }

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Klaus is found passed out by a confused Patch and Beaman. When Diego comes to get him, refusing to divulge who the unconcious man was, things get weird. At least the first time. The second time, it was a different person. And then the third. Then the fourth.

Until finally, explanations are demanded.

☁︎ Mellow Rays of a Departing Sun [Series] by Emotionally_Detached (Yeah_Toast) { T }

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He makes it. He time travels and makes it through another apocalypse. He makes it, but his siblings don't.

His siblings don't make it, except he's in his own childhood and they're still here, alive and thirteen and he can fix things.

He will fix things

☁︎ Midmorning Coffees and Therapy Sessions by wereworm { G }

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Local woman working at coffeeshop accidentally adopts a child and gives advice with a focus on getting closer to siblings when she, herself, has a sub-optimal relationship with her sister.

Or the time Five went to get a good cup of coffee and ended up slowly befriending the barista while trying to reconnect with the siblings he hasn't seen since his childhood without the looming threat of the apocalypse anymore.

☁︎ most dangerous place in the world, the [Series] by Princess_Sarcastia { T }

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"Grace is the third model in a series created by and for Sir Reginald. She has access to the knowledge obtained by her predecessors in their time assisting Sir Reginald in his many endeavors.

All three of them were primarily designed as protectors. Do no harm, just as Mr. Asimov said!

But Grace is slightly different."

[priority one: protect the children]

☁︎ Need a Vacation by Electra_XT { E }

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“You ready for a relaxing weekend at the beach?” Diego said.

“Thrilled,” Five said, looking down at the map in his hands. “A relaxing weekend of hunting down a hired killer and pretending I’m dating my brother.”

☁︎ New Life, A by BirdInTheCave { T }

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Allison had convinced Ray to come back to 2019 with her and her family and after a month of being cooped up in the house with the other Hargreeves plus their own unconventional guests, Ray suggests they spend some time alone. He's still struggling to fully comprehend the new world he's stepped into but he's determined that with Allison at his side he can get used to anything. Allison can't find a reason to say no. She should have said no.

Luckily for her, Five will always be there for his family, now that he's back.

☁︎ Next time, hire a nanny by TheArchaeologist { M }

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While the rest of his family go out to Vanya’s concert for the evening, Five, still recovering from the remains of a lingering chest infection, agrees to watch Claire. He is fifty-nine, he can handle a little girl for the night.

Everything goes fine.

Until it very much doesn't.

☁︎ Not my body, not my life (But I am here) by Panonnymous_Bloom { G }

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He wasn't going to explain to Diego why exactly he was following Allison's every move with his eyes because he didn't own anybody any explanations, especially not his simpleton of a brother who seemed to think that every Alpha was going to pounce on Allison at the first sign of any heat.

Allison's decision to spend her heat in the house leads Five to a small realization - and even smaller desire - but he will kill a thousand men before admitting to it.

☁︎ Not with me by ClaraCivry (Kat_Of_Dresden) { T }

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They never asked if any of that blood was his. Five is bleeding, and he is also giving up.

AU to 2X07, with hurt Five because after all that boy has been through...

☁︎ Number Five | And The Things that Make Him Tick [Series] by Kraeyola { T }

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It's only been two weeks for him.

AKA: Five succumbs to two weeks worth of badly cared for (physical and emotional) injuries, and ends up extremely feverish.

☁︎ On My Terms by CivilBores { T }

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“I did what you asked,” he tells her. “Now, the briefcase.”

Her eyebrows raise in mock-surprise, red lips curling up her face in a sadistic smile.

“You didn’t think that was all, did you?” she asks.

AU: The Handler gives Five a slightly different deal.

☁︎ On This Day In History by telm_393 { M }

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Five had a...special relationship with the Handler during his time at the Commission, or maybe he didn’t. After the apocalypse doesn’t happen, he tries to order his memories of the last few years while also actively suppressing them. It goes badly.

His siblings are worried, and genuinely want to help. They are not unsuccessful.

☁︎ Out of My Mind by Electra_XT { E }

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“What happened?” Diego said. He looked down at himself. “Am I hurt?”

What happened? echoed a voice from the back of his head.

☁︎ Outside, For the First Time by Trees_Frogs_andPotentially_Treefrogs { G }

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Grace is torn between her programming to obey the rules set by Mr. Hargreeves, and her duty to the children, and decides that being a person is self determined.

☁︎ Partners, Parents, or None of the Above by DarkFairytale { T }

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Kenny's mom assuming that Diego and Klaus were A) a couple and B) Number Five’s parents was both bemusing and amusing at the time. But that was because it was the only time it had ever happened. Now though? Now they just can't understand why these misunderstandings keep happening.

☁︎ Raising the Bar by Electra_XT { E }

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Five looked ten years older. He was still youthful, early twenties, but he had suddenly and visibly become an adult. Diego had braced himself for… something, but not this. He was dressed heartbreakingly preppy— neatly tailored slacks, a shirt that fit him like it was made for him, and a casual blazer. Diego hadn’t known a blazer could be casual before, but the way Five wore the linen jacket made it seem genuinely effortless.

Of all the ways this new body thing could have gone, Diego didn’t expect him to be hot.

☁︎ rude awakening by Soulykins { T / WIP }

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When Five wakes up, he just knows someone is in the room with him. Of course, even he didn't except to come face to face with the Handler who he'd thought to be very very dead. And he especially didn't expect her to break into his room and watch him sleep while waiting for him to wake up.

It's very fortunate that Diego and Klaus show up to wake him up and take offense to some random lady in the same room as their very uncomfortable, very thirteen-year-old brother.

☁︎ Screaming in the Face of Communication by papayaromantic { T }

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It's not that he doesn't want to pay attention to Five, just that he seriously can't hear what the boy is saying past the wailing of the torn apart woman in front of him.

☁︎ Second First Time by venDi { E }

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Five spent his early years learning about Alpha biology -- and he knows, recognizes the sudden shift in his family's scent, that his heat has sent them all into a very, very early rut.

☁︎ Servus by Anonymous { E }

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"They had been given a chance to start over, all of them, together. At least, that’s what Five intended, when he pulled he and his siblings from imminent death...He had watched his siblings be swept back to their collective childhood, armed with the knowledge of what was to come, and how to prevent it. He, on the other hand, had ended up somewhere entirely different."

Five receives one, final business proposal from the Handler, and her methods of persuasion are far from conventional.

☁︎ Shadow Elixir, The by Phantom_Vidar { E / WIP }

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With the apocalypse averted the Hargreeves attempt to rebuild their lives and transition into something that resembles a fraction of normalcy. A year later and strange visions start appearing to Klaus, of a dark space contaminated by souls bygone and a voice who aches to be free; especially Ben's. The apocalypse has passed but now another disaster awaits— one that Diego and Five might have accidentally walked into.

Alternatively: Diego and Five have sex and coincidentally start the next stage of the end of the world.

☁︎ shaking like I shook before by Anonymous { T }

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Five tries to deal with it alone, until he learns that he doesn’t have to.

☁︎ skirts and sweaters by slightlyworriedhuman { T }

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"I don't want to be a ‘cute little schoolboy’ anymore, alright?” Five snapped. For some reason, the thought of himself as a schoolboy was enough to make his skin prickle. Was it the implication that he was younger than the rest of them, less mature despite his life?

...Yeah, it was definitely that. Absolutely.Five wants a change in wardrobe. His siblings are more than happy to help.

☁︎ small changes by calypso42 { T }

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“I need to ask you something.” He set down the large stack of books he was carrying beside him. Klaus glanced at a few of the titles - Consciousness in the Brain - Memory & the Role of the Hippocampus - Soul vs. Matter: A Comprehensive Look at the Origins of Sentience - and grimaced.

“Are you… having an existential crisis, or something? Because I am possibly the worst person you could go to for that.”

...

When Five goes to Klaus to ask him something about his powers, Klaus doesn’t think much of it. At least, until he realizes that what he thought was simple curiosity was actually deeper than that, leading to a revelation about Five himself.

☁︎ Snacktime. [Series] by HotCocoaaa { G }

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There was a wolf spider, just, chilling on the table that morning when Diego came down for breakfast. A...a really big wolf spider. Just...a real hunk of a thing.

(“You...you just….you just ate a spider.” He murmured.)

It didn't end well.

☁︎ Special punishment by Anonymous { M }

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Five was the only one with a tattoo on his rib

☁︎ sweater weather by KittenAnarchy { G }

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Number Five, a dryer, and his first blink.

☁︎ take shelter by aloneintherain { T }

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AU where the apocalypse doesn’t follow the Hargreeves to the 1960s. Without the threat of nuclear annihilation hanging over their heads, the siblings can take the time to be a family again.

Until they find out that the Handler has been blackmailing Five.

☁︎ There are Stones in my Stomach and Worms on my Plate by TheArchaeologist { M }

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If you ever need a crash diet, try the apocalypse. It is fat free, dairy free, lacking in all the vital vitamins and minerals, and totally organic.

After all, look at Five. Weeks after stopping the apocalypse and he still can’t finish a plate of food.

☁︎ there is simply nothing worse than knowing how it ends by Drhair76 { G }

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"What's this?" He said pointing a finger at the bread and peanut butter that was laid across the table top.

Five rolled his eyes and sighed heavily. "What do you think. It's a sandwich."

"Oh?" Klaus reached out a hand to brush the sleeve of his beloved hoodie. "And what's this?"

or, the one where Klaus 'loses' a hoodie, Five gets a hug and Ben is proud.

☁︎ they could care less (as long as someone'll bleed) by Ford_Ye_Fiji { M }

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Number Five is cornered once again by commission agents, but this time with his family.

Diego and Klaus learn something about their littlest-oldest brother.

☁︎ this is a bad town (for such a pretty face) by luciimariiellii { T }

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Five’s gone. (How the Hargreeves cope, and how they reunite.)

☁︎ time on my hands by achilleees { E }

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“If you orgasm, you’ll die,” Five said with a grimace.

Diego’s eyes went wide.

“Bet you wish you’d just been sterilized now,” Five said.

☁︎ Timelines 1-2.1 [Series] by dgalerab { M / Partially WIP }

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As the world ends, Five takes his siblings back into their child bodies on the day he originally left. With the knowledge of how the world ends fresh in their minds, the Hargreeves siblings do what they can to leave clues for their past selves on how to grow up a little less fucked up before returning to the present.

A present where they all have different lives they can't remember, there's a fun new apocalypse on the way, and Reginald Hargreeves remembers the day where all his children suddenly and inexplicably lost their minds and all respect for him at once a little too well.

☁︎ to unexplain the unforgivable by darkviverna { T }

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Ability to see the dead and having a temporal assassin for a brother don’t mix well.

☁︎ Too Much Too Little by 1spideyson { T }

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Five says nothing on the ride back, just gently presses the tips of thin fingers to his eyes and temples like his head is a new instrument he’s learning to play. Like he’s searching for the right notes.

Diego tries not to cast too many worried glances the boy’s way, but when Five crawls into Diego’s bed, shaking and grey, he can’t stop himself from speaking up.

A look at Five and Diego's relationship through a h/c lens.

☁︎ Too Old To Be So Young by KaseyBeth { T }

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Five winced loudly, pushing his head off the floor to see bright red smeared across his chest and stomach; crimson soaked into his shorts, running down his leg. His head fell back against the ground dizzyingly, and he groaned as someone touched the wound, biting his bottom lip as he tried to stay conscious. The end of life, of everything, was in three days; they didn’t have time for this, he didn’t have time for this. A bullet wound, a stupid bullet wound and all that stupid concern and worry, was just going to slow them down. There wasn’t time for mistakes, or hiccups, or rest and recovery. It was the end of the fucking world.

☁︎ trans diego & child five [Series] by iamnotalizard { G }

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eudora and beaman are surprised to find out diego has a kid; they're more surprised when they see what their relationship is like

☁︎ traumaversary by WeWalkADifferentPath { T }

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It follows him like an unscratched itch. Under his skin, over his body, around his energy, like a mosquito that won’t leave him the fuck alone.

April 1st. April 1st. April 1st.

(A character study of Five, with some inevitable family feels, in honour of March 24th).

☁︎ two can be as bad as one by myeyesarenotblue { M }

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“Five, sweet little Five” Klaus says, from where he’s sitting cross-legged on the floor, next to one of the living room’s couches, instead of sitting on it like a normal person. “We love you but what the fuck”

Five growls, like he’s a dog or something. “It should correct itself”

☁︎ Uncle Five PT1 by glitched-coffee { G }

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Allison has to take care of Claire without warning the others but its all fine and dandy until Claire thinks she’s old enough to hear everything about Five. She’s seven.

☁︎ Unexpected Future, An by aseies { T / WIP }

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“I’m sure you’re looking forward to finding a way back to your own time as soon as possible,” Nedzu said. “I want you to know that U.A. will do everything in its power to help you achieve that goal. Time travel is a complicated equation to solve, but I’m sure if we put our heads together we’ll come up with something!”

Five raised a skeptical eyebrow. “And you’re just going to do that out of the goodness of your heart? I’m not even old enough for high school yet.”

“Well, we’re all heroes for a reason, no? What good are we if we can’t help a single child in need?” Nedzu pointed out with a pleasantly neutral smile as he sipped his tea.

OR: Instead of time traveling into the apocalypse, thirteen-year-old Five Hargreeves teleports in the middle of the USJ fight.

He gets a couple of new dads out of it.

☁︎ Vital Signs by aye_of_newt { M }

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Sometimes, it's difficult for Klaus to tell if someone is alive or dead.When Five shows up, covered in blood after killing the Board, Klaus panics.

☁︎ walls kept tumbling down, the by Ingu { T }

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It started small.

There was a nagging ache in his chest, phantom pain from where the bullets had pierced his flesh, in the overwritten timeline that never will be.

(the one where rewinding time doesn't miraculously resolve mortal gunshot wounds)

☁︎ We All Deserve Second Chances (but don't repeat your mistakes) by justarandomword, wolvesandnovas { T }

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Time-travelling gave Ben a second chance at life. He's not about to let Reginald Hargreeves ruin that for him and Klaus.

(a.k.a. Reginald takes Klaus' dog tags and the aftermath.)

☁︎ we didn't choose this life, we're just (kind of) living it [Series] by noodlerdoodler { T / Partially WIP }

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Five couldn’t move, standing by and watching complacently, as his younger brother grabbed him roughly by the front of his sweater. It was like he was watching a play he wasn't apart of, yet that was definitely his small body being tossed over the balcony. No doubt, Luther thought that he would just jump out of the way. He'd always jumped out of the way, sometimes without even meaning to, but now visions of a world on fire flashed through his head as his body plummeted towards the ground. Seemingly, he was tumbling through the air in slow motion and absentmindedly, Five wondered if this was his life flashing before his eyes. All he saw was the desolate world he’d left behind weeks ago.

When Five hit the ground, it was with a sickening cracking noise.

“Oh my god, Luther, what have you done?”

☁︎ with two arms by karcheri { T }

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What it comes down to, really, is that Five had been too eager for results. Once it became clear to him that there was a connection between his powers and his energy level the obvious course of action, as he saw it, was to test this information. The hypothesis was this: higher energy levels = stronger powers and the easiest way to get more energy is to eat more. Pretty simple stuff. Too simple.

or Five times that Five starves himself and one time that he gets called out on it.

☁︎ world of options, a by achilleees { E }

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“So did you ask Five about me?” Klaus asked.

“Was I supposed to do that?” Diego said.

“You are the worst fucking wingman,” Klaus said.

☁︎ year that wasn't, the by achilleees { E }

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Diego turned to Five. “I’ve already, uh, lived today. This has already happened.”

Everyone went still.

“Ooh, that’s a mind-fuck,” said Klaus.

☁︎ you from yesterday by questors (sieges) { T }

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The difference between who his siblings once were and who they are now.

☁︎ You Put Your Head In My Hands by shadowsapiens { M }

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“I need a favor.” Five scrambles to his feet, fluffy dark tail lashing behind him. “Don’t worry, it’s not the apocalypse.”

☁︎ You Shook Me All Night Long by Persephxneeee { M }

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Diego was right, Five thinking too much sometimes.

☁︎ zero to sixty by achilleees { E }

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“Man, have you seen me?” said Diego. “Are you really that surprised?”

Oh, Five thought.

“Seems right,” said Klaus, pleased. “Other than the turtlenecks. Very hard to take you seriously as a Dom in the turtlenecks.”

#the umbrella academy #tua #fic rec #masterlist #blueberry's fic recs

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floatingcatacombs · 5 years ago

Text

Top 10 Sexiest Mechas

12 Days of Aniblogging, Day 4

Mecha is one of the most intimidating genres for anime newcomers. The plots seem overly complex, the episode counts too long, and the giant robot war settings difficult to relate to. I think that all of these are valid concerns, but that mecha often gets a bad rap when most people don’t even want to try it. What both newcomers scared of the genre and hardcore mecha fans often fail to recognize, though, is that on top of the messages of the series, mechas always represent bodies. They are giant robotic representations of their pilots, the visions of their creators, collective psyches, and/or the work’s central themes. The degree of anthropomorphism, the level of abstraction with which the pilot controls the mecha, the colors and shape and size…all of these bodily elements directly tie back to the mecha’s role in the story. Of course, if mechas are bodies, then they are also vulnerable to sexualization. So let’s take all of that into consideration and chart the top 10 sexiest mechs! I’ll be keeping it capped at one entry per series, and will talk about all media, not just anime and manga.

10. EQUUS from Concrete Revolutio

Starting off the list we’ve got a pretty weird pick, but I wanted to make sure that I shouted out this show. Concrete Revolutio is a kaiju and superhero-deconstructing delight, but when it comes to mechas it really plays things by ear and aims for the coolest setpieces possible. The protagonist’s mecha is essentially a Transformer that unfolds from a car into a centaur mecha. While the car body middle leaves a little to be desired, overall the design is a very good synthesis of Car and Horse. It’s certainly a better implementation of the centaur mecha design than say, Overwatch’s Orsia, who has a very visually muddled walking pattern because her legs are far too tiny and packed closely to each other. I’m especially a fan of the wheel joints on the knees and hooves on EQUUS, as well as the unicorn horn. Much as a centaur is an identity crisis between man and beast, Jiro is constantly in self-conflict over whether he can be a heroic protector of all superhumans or if he’s just a monster in disguise.

9. Metal Gear Zeke from Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker

Metal Gear Solid is one of the most iconic mecha series out there, so picking one specific Metal Gear over all the others proved challenging. The classic boxy REX, the smooth aquatic RAY, the upright Sahelanthropus, the arachnid EXCELSUS…there’s lots of good ones to pick from! It was a tough battle, but ultimately I had to go with ZEKE, the first named Metal Gear chronologically. Designwise, the railgun and Z-shaped legs are a nice touch, but it’s the story arc around ZEKE that interests me the most. A lesbian-sourced war crime machine, ZEKE was created by MSF, the nationless nation of soldiers run by Big Boss. It ended up being hijacked by terrorists from within and nearly caused a globally eradicating nuclear exchange, which is as good of a metaphor as they get for why deterrence is a fucked ideology. Accidents happen, stockpiles become more and more sunk costs, and sometimes anime girl triple agents infiltrate your military base and steal your cool robot.

8. Char’s Zaku II from Mobile Suit Gundam

Confession time: I haven’t actually seen any Gundam. I’m more of a Macross gal myself. But I felt like not having any Gundam on this list would be like ignoring Star Wars on a space opera list. Anyways, Char seems like one of the most awful bastard characters of any series ever, so I’m happy to use a spot on this listicle for his mecha. The Zaku II is infamous for being “three times as fast” as its generic counterparts despite its only difference being its red paint, but c’mon – that’s Char’s absolute moral purity buffing his ship. You deserve that stat buff if you’ve Never Betrayed Anyone In Your Entire Life, Ever.

7. Deus Ex Machina from Promare

--Promare spoilers ahead--

Promare ends, as all Trigger works should, with a whole lot of Act 3 Bullshit. Plot twist after plot twist until all of the themes dangled at in the first half no longer matter, with nonstop fighting getting more ridiculous by the second. At our protagonist’s darkest moment, their problems get handwaved away and they are handed a deus ex machina of a mecha literally known as….Deus Ex Machina. A fusion of Lio’s jet black triangle armor and Galo’s knightly firefighter mecha, the design of this mecha represents their connection and understanding of each other. Yes, of course they’re gay. Why else would it be glistening in rainbow colors?

6. Terminus typeR909 from Eureka Seven

Another mecha anime I’ve hardly seen.. but one that I definitely want to get around to! Eureka Seven just seems like a genuinely delightful time, and I’m a sucker for romance-based mecha shows as well. Anyways, the piloted mechas in Eureka Seven are named after Roland drum machines, with the typeR909 is named after the classic TR-909. They’re nicely proportioned and there’s something sweet about the cutesy magenta robot of the fleet being piloted by a 30-year old man. I guess I’m just a sucker for the gentle undoing of gendered associations and music gear.

5. Eva Unit-01 from Nylon Genesect Evangelical

All of the Eva units are quite tall and bestial and wonderful, but it’s Eva-01 in particular that really stands out due to its conspicuous tendency to disobey its pilot and go berserk, fully unhinging its jaw. NGE takes the “mechs as bodies” thing pretty damn seriously, but throws in the delightful wrench of “what if it’s not your body that’s being represented?”

4. VF-1 Valkyrie from Macross

Macross was the first popular mecha series to utilize transforming robots. What makes Valkyries so sexy is that they’re not just limited to Spaceship and Gundam forms – they have an intermediary form. In GERWALK mode, the cockpit remains exposed having not folded into the mecha headpiece yet, and the wings are still popped out. However, the Valkyire has sprouted its arms and legs already, making it capable of landing, walking on the ground, and wielding a gun pod as a rifle. It’s kind of adorable! Stuffed to the brim with weapons and tech, Valkyries are the perfect blend of stylized and realistic robots. The Itano Circus will live on forever in our hearts as the go-to tactic when you have plenty of talent on your animation team and your mechas are armed with way too many missiles.

3. Jehuty from Zone of the Enders

While the VF-1 mecha is sexy because of its utility and folding form, the Orbital Frames of Zone of the Enders are sexy because…they’re designed with a sexual angle. They’re famous for their literal cock pits, but combined with their broad shoulders, slim hourglass waists, and pronounced thighs, they exude a strong androgynous energy. Jehuty is one of the most recognizable frames simply by virtue of being the playable mecha, but definitely one of the hornier ones too. Case in point: at the end of Zone of the Enders 2, it receives an upgrade after absorbing its sister frame to become Naked Jehuty, a stripped-down but ridiculously powerful mecha with gold sections emulating bare skin. Yoji Shinkawa’s brain is simply too big.

2. Bohrok Pahrak

Look, I can’t just not include any Bionicle on this list. They’re some of the most formative lil’ robots to me. But which one is the sexiest? That’s not really something I’ve had to consider before. While some of the titan sets such as Roodaka and Axonn have a certain sexual angle to them, it feels contrived, carrying the same kind of creepiness as horny OC designs. The Great Spirit Robot might be the super robot of the series, but its design is rather barebones and reminds me too much of The Iron Giant. So I ultimately settled on the Bohrok, the hivemind villains from 2002’s story. While most Bionicle are a combination of biological and robotic, the Bohrok are strictly mechanical – and piloted by the masklike Krana, making them mechas! You really shouldn’t fuck the Bohrok, but there’s just something so perfect about their design. They’ve got it all – not only transformability and an orb design, but transformability into an orb design. Their hunched-over stature reminds me of GERWALK Valkyries – it’s cute and functional! As for why Pahrak in particular, well, the shields it wields are vibrators. Just ignore the fact that they’re powerful enough to seismically level mountains, and you’ll be set.

1. The Entirety of Heaven Will Be Mine

You can tell that Aevee Bee and Mia Schwartz did their homework for Heaven Will Be Mine. They understand better than anyone else that a mecha is a representation of the pilot’s psyche and body, and that damage to the mecha is indistinguishable from that to the pilot. This is reinforced by the mechas being referred to as Ship-Selves – they are literally an extension of oneself more than anything else. By looking at a ship-self, you can almost immediately infer what kind of person the pilot is, what her position in bed is, and what her fetishes are. The layer of abstraction between pilot and mecha ranges from wafer-thin to nonexistent depending on the character. The side effect of this is that since HWBM is about a bunch of gay girls in space having sloppy ideologically charged hookups, the mechas have to be designed just as sexually as everything else. And by god did they deliver on that front. Some of the ship-selves, such as Mare Crisium and String of Pearls, take clear direct inspiration from Zone of the Enders frames. The Krun Macula takes some inspiration from Char’s Zaku II in terms of color and shape, but its face chimes give it a uniquely divine and powerful feeling with no mecha parallel. This perfectly mirrors Pluto’s powerlevel advantage over all of the other pilots, and her humanoid-but-not-quite ship-self perfectly represents her faction’s goals. On the other hand, the assimilationist Memorial Foundation believes in ending the space program and grounding all ship-selves to prevent the splintering of humanity. Their mission manifests literally in that each member of the faction wears some form of bondage gear to represent their shackles to the Earth, and even their Ship-Self has a spreader bar. Heaven Will Be Mine is ridiculously horny, and it has the vision, design, storytelling, music, and everything else to back it up. Truly, the best of all worlds. And if anyone who worked on the game is reading this post.,.thanks.

#12 days of anime #12daysofanime #mecha #hwbm #mgs #bionicle #macross

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theparanormalperiodical · 5 years ago

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The Real Urban Legend Behind The Grudge (2020) Franchise And The 13 Other Japanese Urban Legends That'll TERRIFY You + Plot Summary And Review

We are living in the age of the reboot.

Maybe it’s our search for nostalgia in a time of Trumpian and post-Brexit uncertainty. Maybe it's a desire to reflect on our past pop culture icons as we enter a new decade. Or maybe it's just a cash grab by greedy producers as they squabble over the latest bonus.

Either way, let’s just hope The Grudge (2020) was better than Cats.

(Spoiler alert: EVERYTHING was better than Cats.)

The first horror film to signal our entrance into the new era was a true champion of the genre, from the ungodly aesthetic to the nothing’s-off-limits Japanese take on the genre.

Dragging herself into the new year - fit with deathly white face, locks of dark hair, and a vocal style that would give Billie Eilish a run for her money - the ghost of Kayako and son, Toshio found a new way to terrify viewers.

And they weren’t even in the movie.

(Here’s the trailer:)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oo_c5lu0W0k

But the true terror behind the film doesn’t start with you paying that much for a small popcorn and Dr. Pepper.

It doesn’t even end with the credits.

The Grudge - yes, all 11 movies from 2 separate franchises - is actually based on an urban legend that has haunted Japan to this day.

And if that wasn’t enough, the films capture components of paranormal activity that are awfully accurate to real ghost stories that go beyond the borders of the small island nation.

So, as your favourite blogger of all things spooky, I thought I’d take us on the express train to Suginami, Japan, to the house that started it all. Today’s post is going to recap the films, explain why the franchise is freak-a-liciously for-real, and go through the other Japanese urban legends you really don’t want to know about.

What’s The Plot Of The Franchise?

Like most Japanese horror films that have been subject to the American treatment (ahem, The Ring, ahem) too many films have been shat out via the silver screen.

But that’s not to say The Grudge film series isn’t worth a watch.

Nevertheless, to save you 20 hours worth of the same jumpscares, jealous ghosts, and attempts to sound out Japanese names, I thought I’d give you the tl;dr on ‘lil Toshio’s afterlife.

The Grudge franchise is actually made up of two films series: the Ju-On (the original Japanese series made up of 7 films) and the Grudge (the 4 American reboots).

Although the original series follows a much more twisted tale, the American version cuts ‘n’ pastes a couple of scenes from the original scripts replays them in the English language. But nevermind the ogre-like layers of films - the premise is the same in each film:

A curse - also known as the Ju-On - created in a house destroys everyone that comes in contact with it. The curse is reborn with every person that encounters it and is passed like a virus among family members.

Question is, where does this curse come from?

The story goes that a happy family were livin’ their bestest life when some bloke called Takeo believed his wife Kayako was having an affair with their son’s teacher.

In a fit of rage, he kills Kayako, Toshio (their son), and their pet cat.

According to the canon, when someone is murdered whilst angry or jealous, a curse is born and gathers where they died. The curse (or the haunting) then repeats itself, killing anyone that comes into contact with it.

“Hol’ up - a woman with a chilling pale face, a mop of black hair, a curse that kills everyone that comes near it… Doesn’t this sound a tad familiar?”

Yes, the Grudge series is basically the domestic abuse version of The Ring…

(Which you can read all about here - including the terrifying true stories behind it)

But did you know that it’s supposed to be?

The brains behind the Japanese-American franchise, Takashi Shimizu, was not only inspired and assisted by the brains behind Sadako’s tragic story, but also took inspiration from things that had haunted him throughout his own life:

He cites dancers painting their nude bodies white as the basis of the aesthetic for the film as made evident by the lookbooks of the leading roles, and noted that around the time of watching said dancers there was a notable rise in the number of domestic abuse cases.

Urban legends or domestic abuse - which scares you more?

Regardless of the backstory to the big screen, what actually happens in the films?

Here’s a quick summary of the Ju-On film series:

The series starts with a handful of abstract short films which dip into the hauntings, then evolving into a couple straight-to-dvd movies. Think Bring It On but with more dead people and less Rihanna.

Following on from their success, the cinematic hit Ju-On: The Grudge was sent to the big screen.

This is where the story properly starts.

(Here’s the trailer:)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYyPTyXlT9w

We finally see Kayako’s and Toshio’s story unfold and the curse attach to all those that come to the house. And this starts with social worker, Rika Nishina, who was summoned after the former social worker mysteriously disappeared.

As with all horror films, paranormal activity goes down, and Rika discovers the truths behind the house. But unlike the other films which just explore the hauntings of the families that just so happen to enter the house, this film explores the rebirth of the curse.

The basis of this film is that Rika is set to die the same way Kayako did and fulfil the Ju-on. At the same time the powers of the curse are further unleashed as its time travelling capabilities are uncovered: a victim from a past film sees her father just before he encountered Kayako himself, even though he died years before.

The next film - the final one is the Japanese franchise - sticks to this theme of rebirth, and sticks to it quite literally.

It starts with a pregnant actress who gets in a car accident caused by Toshio and miscarries.

Well, she thinks she has. A doctor does doctor stuff and discovers she is still carrying a healthy child, but this baby ain’t no normal baby. It’s Kayako.

Good luck getting on Maury with that.

It is then uncovered that she worked for a paranormal documentary TV show that visited the house haunted by the curse.

This is confirmed years later, when a young Kayako pushes her mother off an overpass and kills her. The last we see of this franchise is the young girl wandering off into the distance.

Now it’s America’s turn. Here’s a rundown of the Grudge film series:

The first film is a reboot of the Japanese Ju-On: The Grudge, but this time its horror-film-fave Sarah Michelle Gellar who is stepping up to the plate as Karen (aka Rika). But this time Buffy Karen burns the house down at the end of the film.

(Or does she?)

(Oh and here’s the trailer I’m just Oprah for trailers today:)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YC3bzK_i9_s

The sequel then follows a school girl who is pressured to enter the house by her friends a la every urban legend ever. But this time, Kayako hits the road and follows her back to Chicago, cursing her apartment. And the schoolgirl ain’t the only one struggling with spooky stuff.

When Karen falls from a hospital roof and dies, Karen’s younger sister investigates the circumstances of her death and stumbles into the legend. This time she attempts to stop the curse.

4 more films follow this movie, and all stick to the recipe of schoolgirls daring to go into the house or people being through from hospital roofs.

No, I’m being serious.

The final film prior to the latest reboot takes a different turn, however, and takes inspiration from The Ring to a whole new level. Sadako vs. Kayako is a crossover of these iconic female spirits, and climaxes in the spirits merging into the ultimate ghost: Sadakaya.

What Happens In The Grudge (2020)?

The film follows 4 different families as they encounter the curse, creating a domino effect that ties each of the stories together. The thing is, only one family actually encounters Kayako and the original haunting that made this franchise famous.

Nevertheless, in true Grudge style, Kayako possesses the mother of a family who then goes on to kill her family members.

These ghosts then begin to haunt the following inhabitants of the house and affect all those connected to it. For each story, someone either ends up in an asylum, or kills their entire family, or some chaotic cocktail of the two.

When I first heard a new Grudge was set to hit the big screen, I was honestly a bit surprised; I hadn’t heard anyone mention it!

The thing is, I only found this out last week, a whole month after it first premiered.

I was shooketh.

How had I heard f*ck all about it? Unfortunately, there’s good reason for that:

A unanimous decision has labelled this film a sequence of boring, dull, thin plots all tied together with a smile depressing aesthetic. No, the reviewers did not hold back.

"I saw this movie in the middle of the day, having had a great night's sleep, and I had to slap myself awake a few times."

Nevertheless, The Grudge (2020) does buck the trend of former films, introducing a new plot style and welcoming a new brand of paranormal activity we haven’t seen fall under the franchise just yet.

But honestly, the franchise - like all horror films - gets messy, twisting into a mop of black hair and a sound byte of a death rattle on a loop.

All you really need to know is there’s a spooky-ass house with some dead-ass people and you either die or end up in a mental hospital.

And it's not like any horror film has ever done that before, right?

But even if the films aren’t keeping you up tonight, the story it's based on should do the trick - especially considering the films portray it so damn accurately…

What’s The Urban Legend That The Films Based On?

The Grudge franchise might not go down in horror history for a dense plot chock-full of cinematic innovation, but there’s no doubt that Kayako and Toshio will.

The thing is, the characters of this iconic franchise all started as real people with real lives. Well, as real as an urban legend can make them out to be, that is.

The story goes that Kayako grew up neglected by the members of her family, retreating into her shell and becoming shy. And so, she would write diaries to keep herself company.

In one of these entries from when she was younger, she mentioned a crush.

Flash forward to years later, and she’s married with a child. Problem is, her husband, Takeo, stumbles upon one of these diaries, and believes she’s having an affair.

So, like all rational people, he decides to kill her and his son, Toshio.

How he kills her is a little confused, but we know that at some point she tries to crawl down the stairs and escape, at some point Kayako and Toshio are drowned in a bathtub, and at some point Takeo gets strangled by Kayako with her hair.

Either way they are all very dead.

But it's Kayako that returns from the afterlife as the vengeful ghost we all know and love.

And that’s because Kayako fits perfectly within Japanese folklore, and is an onryo - a vengeful ghost.

“Hold up - does that mean Sadako/Samara is one of these onryos?”

Nope - Sadako is a yurei, which you can learn all about here.

An onryo is a spirit from japanese folklore, or, more specifically, a ghost that has often been wronged by brutal men. And Kayako is far from alone in the afterlife:

Oiwa has earned her name as the most famous onryo to haunt Japanese literature, and claimed her title by being murdered by her unfaithful husband whilst she was pregnant. At first he tried poison, but she survived the attempt - it just disfigured her face and made her miscarry.

To complete the attack he pushed her off the cliff. And yes, that did the job.

Or did it?

Oiwa returned as a vengeful ghost who sought to destroy him and everyone around him.

Sound familiar?

So we know that Kayako’s story doesn’t fall too far from the urban legend inspiring the films, nor the reality of domestic abuse in society - is there anything else that is uncomfortably real about the movies?

*Nods head*

They hit the paranormal activity dead on.

(Emphasis on the dead bit.)

How Accurate Is The Paranormal Activity?

I could rattle off the movies minute by minute and explain why that door creaking is, like, totally accurate to supernatural theories. But even as a paranormal blogger, I’m not that sad.

(Yet.)

However, there are 2 key pieces of the paranormal that I wanted to explore to confirm that these films are c-ree-pily real.

1. Possession by a yurei or onryo

Most horror films tend to follow the same ‘ol trajectory:

There is ghost. Ghost does ghosty things. People are scared of ghost. Ghost possesses one of the people.

All the writers have to do is fill in the blanks.

The thing is, this only happens a couple times in this franchise, most notably in the 2020 reboot. But it got me thinking:

The whole point of Sadako and Kayako - although different kinds of spirits - is that they want to spread dread and darkness, and that at some point they simply want to be reborn to ensure their ambitions are met.

But aside from waving a rather mangled feminist flag, they don’t fill in the blanks like most horror films. Possession by onryo is supposedly possible, however, and has even been captured by a rather famous if lacking-in-detail case:

Hirotsugu possessed some bloke called Genbo way-back-when and affected his health. Yeah, that’s about it.

2. Residual hauntings

Another theory the franchise taps into is that of time travel which is known amongst paranormal fanatics like me as a residual haunting.

Also known as Stone Tape theory, this is belief that events with a high energy atmosphere can imprint onto the surroundings like rocks, objects, furniture, and maybe even houses.

Ever heard of Borley Rectory? What about Bethnal Green Underground?

These are just a few cases of residual hauntings from which these events are replayed in a haunting fashion.

The 13 Other Japanese Urban Legends That Should Make You Avoid Visiting Asia In The Near Future In Case You Encounter The Slit-Mouthed Woman

Trips to Tokyo, breakfast under sweeps of cherry blossom trees, walks around the temples of Kyoto.

Japan knows how to showcase its culture.

But your next trip to this island in the Pacific might leave you a little more terrified than tourist. And given the size of the island, I don’t think you can hop on a tram without bumping elbows with some legend conjured up from the darkest recesses of the web.

In that case, grab your fanny pack and chuck your passport in the hotel safe - let’s find us an urban legend!

#1 - Aka Manto // Red Cloak

Our first legend haunts toilets. No, I’m not kidding. He’s not even the only Japanese urban legend that specifically haunts the bogs!

This urban legend reportedly haunts the last stall in bathrooms and is cloaked in a red cape.

The story goes that, whilst your mid-shit, he will offer you red or blue toilet paper. Whichever one you pick decides on how you die. If he offers you yellow, however, he will just shove your head down the shitter.

To avoid either of those fates, don’t pick any toilet paper. Just ignore, and escape.

Drip dry; don’t die.

#2 - Hanasako-san // Hanako Of The Toilet

Our next bathroom related urban legend is clearly much more explicit about her haunting, but bears a striking resemblance to her male counterpart.

With pale skin and a red uniform, she hides in the 3rd bathroom stall, but doesn’t offer you any TP.

Instead, you should knock on the stall door 3 times, ask if she’s there, and wait for her to whisper and confirm her presence. Well, that or she’ll stay silent which is really helpful.

Anyway, once you’ve alerted her that you’re there, she will straight up drag you to hell.

Okay, fine, the legend sounds simplistic - I mean, you do just go to hell - but her backstory is slightly more imaginative. There’s actually 2 potential tales that explain her haunting:

The first is that he hid in the bathroom during a bombing in WW2 and the building collapsed around her; or she was bullied and committed suicide in the bathroom.

(I mean, I don’t know what you expected, its an urban legend, okurr, shits gon’ be depressing.)

#3 - Jinmenken // Human-Faced Dog

Let’s lighten things up, shall we? I think a comedic dog with the face of a human which is popularly spotted by surfers mid-joint should do the trick...

Jinmenken are dogs with human faces often seen in urban areas. Not only can they talk, they can also be rude - and specifically homophobic - according to some reports.

The most popular sightings can be traced back to surfers in the 1950s, but the most famous tale can be found in 1810 from which one was supposedly exhibited at a museum.

Gnarly, bro.

#4 - The Cursed Kleenex Advert

This urban legend has already featured in one of my posts as an iconic cursed video, but here’s the lowdown for people that don’t waste their time looking this up:

A Kleenex advert was released in the 1980s in Japan and featured some rather odd goings-on.

There was a baby painted red like an ogre and sitting on a bed of straw, there was german music singing ‘die’ repeatedly, and there was the sudden deaths or spiralling of all of the film crew and actors into mental health crises.

You know, the usual marketing campaign.

Oh, and I nearly forgot - everyone that watched it had sudden suicidal thoughts!

It was quickly pulled from air due to complaints, and is now known simply as an urban legend.

*mysterious pipe music plays in the distance*

#5 - Kuchisake-onna // The Slit-Mouthed Woman

Equally as famous as Kleenex firing most of their TV advertising department (before they all died, anyway) is the slit-mouthed woman, an onryo just like the main characters of The Grudge.

A woman (gasp) supposedly wanders the streets of Japan, and, in the dark of the night, wanders up to those walking alone.

She then asks them how she looks.

If you react with disgust, she will kill you via the scissors she just so happens to have on her. If you react positively and clearly think she's beautiful, she will smile weirdly at you, revealing the slits giving her a permanent smile and repeat the question. If you compliment her, she will give you the same cuts that have slit open a permanent smile.

If you say she looks average or distract her with food or sweets you will be free to go.

And the moral of this story?

We are all beautiful in our own way. Also pls don’t kill me.

#6 - Benzaiten’s Curse

Benzaiten is the goddess of everything that flows: time, water, knowledge, the linings of my womb from my nether-regions every 5 weeks.

But, as made clear by the latter, she isn’t necessarily a positive force. Let’s say you take your partner to the Imokashira pond for a romantic row across the river. As the pond and the park containing it are full of her shrines, for some reason she takes delight in ending relationships.

Jealous of the happy couples enjoying the peace of the park, she curses them, leaving them to split down the middle.

Mwahaha?

#7 - Kunekune // Wriggling Body

There’s no backstory, there’s no explanation, and there’s no evidence of the kunekunes. But this doesn’t stop this story being perhaps the most chilling to haunt this blog.

Kunekunes are slender white figures that stand tall on fields, lingering in the distance.

Get too close? You go insane.

Touch one? You dead.

It is believed that this legend could be linked to claims of scarecrows coming to life at night or if you stare at them too long, but regardless of where it evolved from, this shizz be spooky.

#8 - Teke Teke

Got any more room for another onryo? Good. ‘Cause this one involves a woman who was sliced in half by a train.

Having fallen on a railway and lost her legs to the accident, it is claimed she drags her torso along with her arms, her elbows making the noise titling the legend.

Don’t fancy an encounter with her? Stay away from urban areas. But if she does happen to, uhh, bump into you, here’s what you have to do to avoid your legs being scythed off.

(Actually, sorry to interrupt - how in the hell does she do that like surely a scythe is a long boi and like shes only got her arms as her height so how does this work)

She will ask you where her legs are and you either have to tell her that they are on the Meichin Railway or say in perfect Japanese “mask death demon”.

And no, I don’t think she allows you time to pull up Google Translate.

Oh, and I also just found out that anyone that learns of her story will encounter her within one month. Soz.

#9 - Kāneru Sandāsu no Noroi // The Curse Of The Colonel

Honestly, this be a fucking meme. Like this is hilarious.

This is why I started this blog: for ghosts, for horror films, and for curses relating to fast food restaurants.

The story goes that in 1985 the Hanshin Tigers basketball team won the Japan Championship series. On the night they won, a statue of Colonel Sanders - yep, the KFC guy - was thrown into a river.

Since 1985 they haven’t won the series, something that has been attributed to the bad luck from the statue still being in the river.

In 2009, they began to recover their lucky charm, and all they need now is to find a hand and his glasses.

#10 - Cow Head

Sure, this urban legend might not have a descriptive title, but it is probably the most perplexing. Heck, there are even two stories behind it, both of which I assume are related.

The first claims that a teacher once told his students a story of ‘Cow Head’. They all began to experience strange symptoms over the following days, from seizure-like shaking to their eventual deaths. This slow demise is traced to the story, but only fragments are available to find.

(And, because I’m only gonna let you be haunted by teke teke, I thought I’d let you find that one out for yourself cause I’m nice and also scared.)

The other side of the story goes a little something like this:

A town is cursed after they eat the head of a cow.

Yeah, that's the end of the story.

Or maybe the urban legend is from Ukrainian folklore? A woman received good fortune after offering shelter to a disembodied cow head.

#11 - Kokkuri

This is a classic: it's basically a Japanese ouija board.

A favourite among high school students searching for a quick buzz, all this requires is someone that can write out hangara symbols and someone else willing to cough up a coin.

And all you have to do is ask kokkuri-san a question. Well, the question might go unanswered - they can only tell you of your death.

If you do so happen to stumble into a sesh, make sure you say goodbye to kokkuri-san, spend the coin she used to point out the answer, and use us all the ink from the pen used to draw the symbols.

Other than that, you’re good to find out when you’ll meet the Grim Reaper!

#12 - Kisaragi Station

This one’s fresh from the new age of the urban legend.

It’s 2002, and we are probably on some dodgy 4-chan-before-4-chan website.

The story is pretty simple, and claims there is a railway station that is unmarked on maps which someone has reportedly visited. This unmanned station is spook central, with the name of the station roughly translating to ‘demon station’.

The original story claimed a commuter train which normally frequently stopped took a different route and only a few other passengers - all fast asleep - were on board.

No taxis, no buildings, no guards, no timetables…

All aboard the not-sleeping-ever-again train!

#13 - Hasshaku-sama

Similar to the urban legend previously described, this is ripped fresh from the early days of the web.

It is claimed that a woman towering over 2 metres tall attempts to lure young people into the arms of death, mimicking the voices of their family members. Or, in more simple terms, if she likes you, you gon’ die.

The story attempts to explain her backstory, claiming she might be a divine spirit, or that she is attached to a village the protagonist of the urban legend must escape to avoid her powers.

Who Else Ain’t Sleeping Tonight?

(Or taking a bath/shower/going into the bathroom ever again?)

And which urban legend traumatised you the most?

Why not fall further down the rabbit hole and check out my other articles exploring the reality behind your fave horror flicks?

And while you’re there, be sure to hit follow to see a new ghost story everyday.

(Also this is now you trying to live life but now thinking about the urban legends I told you about lol c ya byeeeeeee)

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