#a random staff member would see him walk into a dark closet with peeps like meph and limbo and go NAEGI DONT DO IT-

[zeravmeta]

nasuverse/dr stuff still exists rent free in my head as a treasure trove of concepts so not only am i imagining kamukura in fgo but also naegi because of the absolute shenanigan's that would entail (long self indulgent crossover post ahead)

ok so something that's incredibly important to understand abt makoto fucking naegi is that he’s a walking plot device breaker because his bad luck works at the meta narrative level across dr. he survived the first game specifically because of the bad luck that would come from suffering through the deaths of his friends, and later on managed to defeat junko because of his optimism and belief in others BUT ALSO because it would lead him to being the most wanted person on the planet for stopping humanity’s downfall. 

to kinda expand off the loosely defined cinematic universe this makes from previous posts, naegi entering chaldea would work out pretty much the same way it did for guda bc he’s an average dude being put into extraordinary circumstances. UNLIKE guda, however, naegi is actually incredibly sharp without realizing it and also has an extremely unbreakable willpower while simultaneously being gods funny little man which would translate to chaos but Worse for chaldea. There's also the dynamic with izuru which would be incredibly hilarious bc to most of chaldea they'd see izuru as this above it all prick since most wouldn't actually Know His Deal and for those that do they just pity him but since naegi is an unpredictable enigma he’d be one of the handful of people who izuru consciously seeks out and actually does get along with izuru, leading to the staff relegating him to “the difficult person handler”.

he’d def get along with the main chaldea quartet but romani would probably look to him on how to handle izuru at certain points bc of romani’s guilt in these types of situations. what would really spice up the dynamic here is that naegi would actually pick up on romani hiding something very early on and slowly work towards uncovering it. There’d also be how much like izuru was targeted by rando mages, so would naegi, but his bad luck would constantly protect him from whatever fucked up magics a mage tries to use on him specifically because it would keep him alive to experience the grand order and the lostbelts. 

now for actual servant parallels that come to mind, i feel like the obvious answer is edmond but the supremely sexy answer is siegfried because both of them are hugely self sacrificial characters who are defined by how their bad luck ruined their life. THE THING IS THOUGH that siegfrieds misfortune is what always kills him and leads others to tragedy, but it would 100% be overpowered by naegi’s own bad luck specifically bc it’s that much more powerful (and the total opposite: naegi’s luck leaves him with tragedy but ensures he can survive) and would keep them alive. naegi is someone who carries tragedy on his back and runs a marathon with it because he can’t stop going forward so coupled with his optimism he’d def get along supremely well with siegfried and probs inspire him the way sieg did in apo. Actually one of naegi’s most consistent character traits is the fact that he 100% trusts shady bitches way more than normal people (considering he forgave kirigiri for setting him up like twice, gets along decently well with genocider and decided to save class 77 regardless of their crimes) so you stick him next to any evil bitch (clown quartet) / expressionless badass (arjuna, altera, scath, etc) and he’s basically good. ALSO i wouldn't say its all peaches and roses bc nasuverse defines the act of being a hero as being someone who has blood on their hands and naegi is a staunch believer in ‘no reason is good enough to kill ever’ so he’d def have some struggle with heroes who are proud of their lives if it were particularly gruesome but he also wouldn't preach to them about it since he ultimately respects others choices on the matter.

When naegi would come to chaldea with izuru, he’d probably fly to the wayside to the drama with izuru/romani initially, but then take a more proactive step in making sure they actually resolved the grand order (actually, the combination of izuru and naegi’s bad luck might even ensure olga doesn't get deep fried in singularity f, which would directly lead to alien god being more proactive about their hosts in part 2 what bad luck lmao). naegi isn’t someone who would ever struggle with his humanity, but rather he’s someone who seeks to understand the humanity within others. Its why he saved ultimate despair regardless, why he didn't want junko to kill herself, he’s someone who always reaches out and tries to understand in his own imperfect way. being the ultimate hope doesn't mean that he lacks despair, but rather he can carry that with him without being crushed by it, and a mission to save humanity would be right up his alley. But when the lostbelts roll around, he’d definitely struggle with the idea of destroying other worlds. But much like he did with the killing game, he would never forget them. He would take that pain, and continue to move because what else could he do. 

[glassesandswords]

Summary: 

It was a normal, peaceful day in school until Eren tried to impress him, and now Levi found himself hiding in a cramped dark closet with a girl he barely knew to escape the wrath of a thousand bees ready to unleash their vengeance on them.

Dammit Eren.

Read the fic below: 

It all started when that bitchbrat Eren slammed open the window that was not supposed to be opened.

Just a few minutes ago, Levi was having a nice, normal day at school. He had skipped PE to finish up his homework in his classroom, relishing the silence that came with being alone after spending most of his morning with his draining classmates. The only sounds that filled the empty, echoing classroom was the creak of the dusty old ceiling fan and scratch of his pen on his notebook. Soft sunlight shone in through the two of the five windows that were open and even if Levi was sitting near one of the closed windows, he did not feel like shifting to a seat with better lighting.

But his moment of silence was broken when Eren entered the classroom.

“Ah, Levi! Why are you all alone here?”

Levi suppressed a frustrated sigh. Eren was his junior, three grades younger than him. Levi never attempted to interact with his peers in other divisions, much less in other grades, but unfortunately for him, he and Eren shared the same bus-stop. And for some reason, Eren’s eyes would always sparkle like stars when he saw Levi.

It was annoying.

“Why are you here?” Levi frowned as Eren walked in, looking around curiously at his senior’s classroom.

“Ah, I had taken a washroom break.”

“Then go.”

“I did. I just wanted to kill some time before going back to my classroom. Geography is a boring subject.”

Levi was not surprised. No person, sane or insane, liked geography anyway.

Eren noticed the shoes littering the classroom. “Oh, did your classmates go for PE?”

“Yes.”

“Then why did you not go? I thought you liked PE. You are the fastest sprinter after all.”

“Just because I’m good at something doesn’t mean I have to like it,” He waved his notebook at him. “I’m finishing up my homework.”

“Oh, do you need any help?”

“Sure, solve this for me,” He pushed a complex quadratic equation at Eren. Eren stared at it, eyes blissfully blank and then chuckled in a sheepish way, scratching at his ear.

“I can’t do sums three grades higher than me.”

“Then shut up and go back to your class.”

Much to his ire, Eren shook his head, “Well that doesn’t mean I can’t do other things to help you, you know? I can speed up the fan if you want!”

“No need.”

“Oh, why are you sitting in the dark? That’s right, let me open the window for you at least.”

It took Levi a second before the gravity of his words hit him through the continuous stream of ‘oh god he is annoying’ that looped in his brain. “Wait, no,” he exclaimed, his eyes widening as he whipped his head towards Eren, “Don’t touch that win-”

Too late.

Eren, with his chest puffed up in triumph, pushed open the window with all his strength and in that moment, Levi could see his entire life flashing before his eyes.

Levi was the first one to notice it a few months ago as he stared out of the window during tedious lectures- the little goop on the slab shading the window from outside, and how there seemed to be an influx of bees buzzing around. After a while, it was obvious: a group of honeybees had started to build a hive right outside the window. When he had informed it to his teacher, she asked the students to close the window and not open it till the hive was removed.

But days passed by and no one removed the hive. One day, as Levi was walking past the watchman Hannes, he heard him talking about it with the other staff members.

“The beehive outside the third floor classroom has grown pretty big, y'know. I did ask Principal Zachary about its removal, but he said that it was a pain in the ass to call in men and remove the hive when it was that small, so he’s planning to wait till it grows so that he can harvest the honey while removing it as well.”

“But what if it hurts the children?” one of the other staff asked, leaning on his broom.

“Tis what I asked. But the principal seemed firm in his decision. He told the students and the teachers to not open the window and the two windows next to it. After all, bees don’t bother you if you don’t bother them.”

“I get that, y’know? If the beehive grows to the maximum size, we could probably harvest more than twenty kilograms of honey from it. Honey fetches a good price after all...”

So the beehive remained carefully untouched till then.

And when Eren, in his oblivious glory, slammed open the window, all hell broke loose.

Levi barely had the time to grab a screaming Eren by the back of his collar and run for their lives. The heavy wooden door hit the fat hive and the angry bees swarmed in, poised with their stings to defend their home. Once they were out of the classroom, Levi flung the boy ahead of him. “Run,” he commanded.

“But-”

“RUN!”

And Eren ran. Levi held back, slamming the door and windows on the other side of the classroom shut so that the bees would be contained within the classroom instead of finding their way into the corridor to the rest of the school.

But the bees had other ideas, and other routes. And within seconds, there was an uproar throughout the building.

“Tch,” Levi cursed internally as he ran towards the school office. He had to alert the authorities, to ask them to announce through the speakers to shut all the windows. However, the bees had already entered the school through the other passages and they were now flooding the corridors in a buzzing cloud of fury as students and teachers started rushing outside the classrooms alike, screams filling the air.

“Everyone, lock the doors and windows of your classrooms,” boomed all the speakers in the school at once, “A swarm of bees are spreading out. Take shelter immediately.”

Finally Eren did something useful for once, Levi thought as he turned a corner, looking desperately for somewhere to hide. But the doors and windows of the other classrooms were already locked shut, and Levi knew if he were to bang on the door and wait for them to let him in, he’d risk not just being bitten, but also letting the bees enter into the classrooms.

An overly aggressive bee zoomed straight at him, and in reflex, Levi tried to swat it away. Which was a very bad idea, as he immediately felt a sharp sting on the back of his palm. He hissed, gritting his teeth in pain.

One of the buzzing bastards had got him at last.

With watery vision and panic rising steadily within him, he almost felt his heart jump out of his throat when a random hand grabbed his arm, breaking his run, to yank him inside a storage closet and close the door shut.

Levi crashed into something soft, which in turn crashed into something hard. He felt small objects raining on him- both metal and plastic- as if he had knocked over a shelf lined with things. He was in one of the storage closets after all.

A soft groan from below made Levi push himself up, only for him to freeze as he came face to face with a girl sprawled underneath him. With the help of the small glass peep-window on the door that let in a sliver of light inside the dark room, he saw the startled look in her big brown eyes behind an askew pair of glasses.

A girl. He had a girl pinned underneath him.

She rubbed the back of her head, ruffling her messy brown hair in the process as she cocked her head to the side, like a bird.

“You’re welcome, but you are kinda heavy, you know?”

Levi felt heat rush to his ears as he scrambled away, his back digging into yet another shelf as he tried to put some distance between them. It did not work very well, however, the storage closet was too small and cramped that it was only comfortable for one person standing in it at a time.

“What’s happening out there?” the girl asked, straightening her glasses as she stood up, “Are they removing the hive?”

“No,” Levi said as he glanced at the stinger buried in the back of his hand, “A stupid kid disturbed it.”

“You got stung?”

“Yeah.”

“Wait, show it to me in the light.”

Levi was curious himself, so he obeyed, positioning his hand in the sliver of light that streamed in through the tiny glass window at the top of the door.

His skin had reddened and started to swell where the stinger had embedded itself. It was agonizing and Levi clenched his jaw as the girl hovered close to it. “Wow, that must hurt. Any other place you got stung?”

“No.”

“Okay, let me remove this for you.”

“Huh?” Levi automatically pulled his hand back from her vicinity, “No.”

The girl’s eyebrows rose. “You don’t trust me with that?”

“I don’t even know you.”

“Right,” the girl pointed to herself with a thumb, “I’m Hange, and I think I’ve seen you around before.”

“Where?”

“We are in the same grade, you know. Just different divisions.”

Levi squinted. True, he did not pay much attention to his classmates in other divisions, much less bother to remember them or their names, but why did he not recognize her from her appearance at least?

“Oh, I joined this school this year, by the way.”

Ah. That explained it.

“I have been a very outdoorsy person from childhood and I’ve been stung by bees more than once in my life. So, I know what you must feel right now and I kinda know what to do about it,” she continued, “Anyway, I think that’s enough information for you to trust me with the stinger.”

Without waiting for Levi’s reply she swiped her ID card from its holder and grabbed Levi’s hand.

“What about you?” she asked, “What’s your name?”

Distracted by the question, Levi attempted to answer it. “Le-”

He flinched, grunting in pain as Hange swiped the ID over his hand without hesitation, effectively removing the stinger, with way more force than necessary.

“There we go!” she declared proudly, a wide smile on her face. “Good job, Lee!”

Levi was still smarting from the sting to correct her.

[captainbookworm103]

me writing this: I Will Make A Post That Is So Self Indulgentnasuverse fate danganronpa zerav metalovin lovin LOVIN all my brain juices rnnaegi has a soft spot for the shady and the cool headedlike hanging with izuru alone would have people HELLA suspicious of him but they have one convo and realize 'oh hes just kind'then it just kinda grows from there. oh look naegi is hanging with karna and arjuna and they arent immediately yakuza fightingoh look naegi is following around scath like a puppy (he misses kyoko)a random staff member would see him walk into a dark closet with peeps like meph and limbo and go NAEGI DONT DO IT-and then come across them just having a tea party (yes the sugar cube bowl is full of bugs. no naegi will not question it)guda wouldnt be the only most loved bitch on the premesis is what im saying. also naegi and guda would be Bros 4 lyfebc NORMAL PEOPLE THANK FUCKING GODnaegi would also 100% support izuru with being mash's big bro for this elaborate ausidenote since lance has me thinking wall thoughts i am Extremely entertained at the idea of naegi and wall meeting because likewall: wait so you mean to tell me that your timeline had humanity destroy itself but you managed to save it through belief in others?naegi: y.yeah is that really so crazy?wall (mad jealous): hmm. yes. i see. have [STATIC

nasuverse/dr stuff still exists rent free in my head as a treasure trove of concepts so not only am i imagining kamukura in fgo but also naegi because of the absolute shenanigan’s that would entail (long self indulgent crossover post ahead)

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