lolib0nez

[lolib0nez]

I am slightly glad

Im going back to my relatives house

Because of another typhoon coming up

But it means i can starve properly again...

[lolib0nez]

November 14 Calorie log

Breakfast: 90 calories

Snack: ice cream bought by dad on the way home (sighs): ~ 100 cals to be safe

Im gonna drink tea later to water down the ice cream, plus i need to drink something warm otherwise my stomach would go crazy

[lolib0nez]

OMG AND IM SO CLOSE TO 50KG OMG WHAT IF IT'S JUST FROM THE DRINK I DRANK

NEW CURRENT WEIGHT JUST DROPPEEDDD

Its been so long since i stepped on a scale so i did AND I LOST 2KGS???? I know its not much but ive been in a plateau for MONTHS so this is rewarding for me

Im so happy~

[lolib0nez]

NEW CURRENT WEIGHT JUST DROPPEEDDD

Its been so long since i stepped on a scale so i did AND I LOST 2KGS???? I know its not much but ive been in a plateau for MONTHS so this is rewarding for me

Im so happy~

[lolib0nez]

I find myself purging more than starving in my parents house :(

[lolib0nez]

Lost Track.

Hello skellies I came home from my relatives house

which means im with my gummy bear parents whats worse is school has started I dont know why but it seems like theres something in the air that make you want to eat n eat and eat I overate yesterday and got so bad i got so bad i felt so sick and guilty therefore i did not post :) I was too depressed

But today has been way better

I only drank something hot for breakfast because i bloated from yesterday, i fasted (for 7 hours) and broke it for soda crackers which are really low cal! i ate choco popcorn that my dad bought and i immediately felt so guilty and sick i purged it all out lol And so i drank senna tea (laxative) that my mom has for years now (its not expired) according to her its "not for kids" and very concentrated it made her nauseous and other bad stuff i searched it up, and it doesnt give that side effects (the fuck) i feel like shes just trying to keep it away from me I didnt hesitate despite that lol idgaf anymore and i needed the laxative cuz my stomach hurt earlier morning, i drank it and it tastes okay, i didnt get dizzy or nauseous lol (what the hell was my mom talking about) though i didnt let the tea bag simmer in the hot water though so it wasnt as concentrated (since im still kind of scared because there school tomorrow and i cant afford to shit everywhere) and unfortunately i had to eat an oreo (forced) great JUST FUCKING GREAT

[lolib0nez]

This was on private but i decided to put ti in public since this is a closed space and MY comfort space because this is linked to something i want to open up right now

I tried on a pretty white chinese style dress today and my... gummy bear mom complimented how skinny i got ever since i stayed in mny relatives house Earlier (the days when we first got here) she told me about how I should eat and that i should just eat one meal a day with not too much rice blah blah blah with no snacking inbetween blah blah blah

i didnt pay attention to that

shes fucking

fat

Im not being fatphobic in this circumstance dont get it wrong i love my mom but please shes literally 3 TIEM MY SIZE4, why would i take advice from a fat person about how to get skinny? like jsut because she knows how to become skinny doesnt mean ill follow what she says cuz like?? do i still have to elaborate??? I dont know and i cant explain very well why this trigerred me BUT I jsut hate the fact that my starving and self controll isnt credited, thats what i fucking hate like she actually thinks that ehr advice IS THE ONE TBHART HELPED ME LOSE WEIGHT?? WHEN SHES THE REASON WHY I NEVER LOST WEIGHT AT HOME CUZ SHE KEEPS MAKING SNACKS AND ALL THAT UNECESSARY FOOD THAT SHE MAKES FOR THE SAKE OF SATUIATING HER IRREGULAR CRAVINGS LIKE UUGHHHH STOP LETTING ME EAT THOSE, I FEEL LIKE I ALWAYS HAVE TO FOLLOW HER EATING HABITS EBNCAUSE IF I DONT I CAN SORT OF FEEL LIKE A PUNISHMENT OR A LECTURE COMING UP UUGHGHGHG

Notice how I LOST WEIGHT when she wasnt around? yeahhhhh. And she has the AUDACITY TO SAY "What i told you was right (eating only one meal a day wIthout snacking inbetween blah blah blah whatever the fuck it was), you got smaller" LIKE YEAH NO SHIT???? YOU WERE THE ONE THAT HELD ME BACK Also once she got in here (relatives house where im currently in) IVE BEEN EATING A LOT AND RESTRICTING LESS i swear to got she has something in her that just makes people want to eat- or maybe jUSt me- WHY DOES IT SEEM LIKE EVERY MOM HAS A THING FOR FEEDERISM?? I love my mom dont get me wrong shes the best but fuck i cant help but get and get mad over this because shes also trying to lose weight but she KEEPS ON COMNPLAINING ABOUT IT BUT NEEVR PUTS IN THE EFFORT LIKE URUGHGHGH ITS FUCKING ANNOYING AND DISGUSTING ME LIKE STOP TALKING ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO LOSE WEIGHT WHEN YOU BINGE ON EVERY SMALL CRAVING YOU GET

Me watching mukbangs as an appetite suppressant knowing damn well my mom would water at the sight of the food makes me feel so uncomfortable

[lolib0nez]

November 11 Calorie log

I feel so sick

I broke my 13 hour fast to eat breakfast since I was forced again.. I feel like vomiting, my stomach was kind of cramped when I woke up so that didn't help

I ate a small portion, but I can't help but feel guilty and nauseous

aaaagghghhghgrhhg i wanna vomit so bad the food tasted like ass

[lolib0nez]

need new prøanä movies and shows that aren’t to the bone or black swan or 1000 lb sisters ya feel. pls suggest some <3

[lolib0nez]

can you do winter/christmas spo? ❄️🎄

Keep yourself warm Angel, cold winter ahead :)

[lolib0nez]

little @na tips <3 part five !!

WARNING !! ANOREXIA IS A VERY DEADLY DISORDER AND THE ONLY REASON I POST THESE IS BECAUSE IF YOU'RE GONNA SUFFER AT LEAST FEEL A LITTLE GOOD ABOUT IT. RECOVERY IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT BUT NOT ALWAYS A VIABLE OPTION.

Eating on a dark blue or black plate has the effect of making you eat less.

If you want to prevent a binge, just buy the food that you need for the day if you live by yourself.

Frozen foods take longer to eat, so you feel occupied longer, and you might feel fuller.

If you get bad headaches, it's probably because you're dehydrated or your blood sugar is too low.

Don't take aspirin on an empty stomach. It'll make you puke. (Which might be the goal, but, yk, fair warning).

be safe <3

[lolib0nez]

inspired from a diff post on here, i found some other tabloids from the 2000s and i feel as tho we as a society are going through this desire to be thin again era

[lolib0nez]

the hardest part of weight loss is not the calorie deficit or exercising, the hardest part of weight loss is NOT GIVING UP!! and staying motivated is the hardest but hey! if you can keep yourself motivated enough to not give up you actually start being rewarded with results!! so keep going

[lolib0nez]

November 10 Calorie log

I ate pretty late so I'll consider it a brunch? which is ~500-600 cals? and I'm drinking coffee right now that's 140 cals I don't mind going over my calorie limit that much (which is 600) because I'm still sick, even though my jaw doesn't hurt as much as yesterday anymore I cant afford to get sicker, otherwise they would let me eat more and monitor me (🙄)

Yippiee!!

But unfortunately they're letting me eat lunch now AAUURRGHHHHH NOOOO

Edit

[lolib0nez]

Yippiee!!

But unfortunately they're letting me eat lunch now AAUURRGHHHHH NOOOO

Edit

[lolib0nez]

Theyre taking my cat away tomorrow i hate them I HATE THEM SO MUCH

SERIOUSLY???? 10 DAYS BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY??? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN I'LL SPEND MY 16TH BIRTHDAY WITHOUT MY CAT???

What the fuck do you mean my cat wont be with me when i turn 16 and onwards??? Is that what's really going to happen??? It's so painful to accept... Wdym I can't hug my baby anymore...

[lolib0nez]

November 9 Calorie log

Tw: sickness

Im sick, not really though

My temperature is fine but i feel feverish and i cant carry my body properly that much, but i can manage

My jaw suddenly hurt yesterday and the pain isn't going away till today and my mucus has blood in it, i dont know the cause of these

I told my mom about these and she said it's probably just a growth spurt, since my birthday's coming up and nothing serious happened to me for me to get the jaw pain

I don't think i can give a concrete calorie log for today and the following days until i get better

Ive probably eaten above 500/600 cals today lol