#a quiet kind of anger
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i feel like peter is most accurate to how she feels about joe now
#there’s just so much like. quiet anger. apologies. sympathy. sadness. lost love#i don’t think she ever wants to talk to him again and he absolutely broke her heart but she has a measure of guilt too#so that anger at him is kind of woven in with anger at herself#.txtpost#peter
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I think my biggest issue with the live action atla is how all the issues the characters had were so... individualistic? They were issues primarily connected to their own self or disagreements with family members, and mainly conquered through finding their own power and learning badass bending and being a prodigy who learns things all by themselves.
I'm not sure how to phrase this properly but in the original, each character was influenced by the world they grew up in. Aang's denial, rage and occasional selfishness stems from him being an outsider to this world - he's a kid from 100 years ago with fresh grief from an event long past, no understanding of what living through war is like, and the weight of everything on his shoulders. Katara's anger and mothering comes from being cut off from her culture, having to step up and be her mother, and being treated as inferior to the men for being a woman. Sokka's sexism is a young boy's limited understanding of the role that men and women play in his tribe, and his consistent feelings of failure to live up to expectations or contribute to the group is a result of, again, having to grow up to take the position of leader far too quickly; trying to be his father. Everything about Toph is a pushback against the way she was smothered and restricted - the way the world makes assumptions about her because of her blindness. And for all that Zuko has daddy issues and whatnot, the core of his character is actually him wrestling with his upbringing, what it means to lead and serve a people, and questioning the nationalistic propaganda that was a fact of life for not just him, but everyone in the Fire Nation.
Atla is essentially one big road trip story. The detours are important, because it's on these that the cast find the limitations of their worldviews both broadened and challenged - and it's through others that their development occurs for the most part. Sure, they become stronger power-wise too - but that's not what actually resolves their internal issues. Their flaws are a product of their natures meeting their environments, so it's only by being in new environments and learning from the new people they meet that they grow, change, and adapt - all things that are absolutely pivotal for the cast to impact the world in turn in the way they all eventually wind up doing.
And I don't know, I just felt that wasn't there in the live action. Shades of it, sure, but, like I said, it was very self-contained, and didn't feel like a product of the world they grew up in. And the solution was usually just. Talk a few things over. Learn a cool new skill - without a master? You... you need a master, because bending is a martial art, not a superpower. No one in Avatar is supposed to learn everything alone... that's the whole point, and why one nation cannot rule all of them - they are all necessary, and all have something of worth to teach to others. Anyways, it was weird idk idk...
Feel like I could've explained this a lot better but this is the gist. Hope it somewhat came across?
#also i know i'm being nit-picky but the spirits...#in the original series there was a kind of quiet reverence to the way iroh and aang tended to interact with them#but in the live action they seemed a lot more like scary monsters. the spirits are an integral part of the world#there was a healthy dose of fear in the original too (for good reason). but there was also reverence. they are guardians#they are not spooky per se just otherworldly#and yet they are also foundational to the world of avatar itself#and i just. don't think that came across either. unfortunately.#poor hei bai was left angered and wounded... :'(#i mean i know he offered the acorn but we didn't actually see hei bai accept it and be somewhat appeased... sadness...#storyrambles#atla
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#moodboard#poetry#resigned anger#music#Spotify#curated vibe#writing#religious imagery#cross#angels in america#sandman#gjallarhornit#photography#needles#i struggle to define this aesthetic#but to me it feels as some untangible anger#anger that has built itself into a constant#self-made god mindset#im trying to write some poetry on this too but eng as a second language makes it hard#the kind of quiet anger that makes people break themselves to be better#the belief that they can make themselves anything
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so anxious abt work today that my brain is telling me to show up Now..... 90 minutes early............. inner chilchuck where are you...... save me....... save me inner chilchuck...............
#so anxious abt work today i also hardly slept last night#went to bed at around midnight and woke up at 2:30 (not that unusual i have intermittent sleep) but then i couldn't stop thinking#abt work today n couldn't fall asleep so i had to go downstairs and eat a whole ass meal and then play games for two hours or so#in order to calm down and then finally fall asleep for 3~4 more hours#i am once again the worker w/the most experience in our programs doing camp today which would be fine if the kids were decently behaved#but they are not and so yesterday i asked them all why we need to always threaten them with write-ups n quiet time for them to behave#and they're kids so they didn't rlly have an answer yet but i told them to think abt it#and ofc there are some kids who are Supremely Anxious abt getting written up asking me if i will write them up#and i'm like buddy you are one of the characters constantly acting up and horsing around here. the other staff have written you up regularly#n funny enough their answer yesterday was that they thought they could get away with their poor behavior#which certainly is an answer that i have No Idea how to respond to#the worm speaks#i chatted with some of them a bit more later n the details are mostly that they're acting on their emotions#so i kind of want to print out that 'decisions made in anger cannot be undone' img to laminate n post on the wall at work
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thought dump
#venting in tags can be soo therapeutic#just a bunch of feelings may not be totally related to each other#sometimes (a lot of the time) theres just this sinking emptiness in my gut. some mixture of loneliness and and self loathing but it also#feels like nothing#part of me is convinced that im hard to love#and i try to compensate by avoiding conflict at all costs and trying to live up to my high moral standards#and i feel so much shame for feeling anger that i try to avoid it but it always bubbles up and gets worse#i wanna be heard i want the people i care about to understand how i feel!!! but i feel like shit for feeling all this and isolate myself#and i wonder why i turn out so resentful and why im struggling to form new connections!!!#feeling like a double edged sword GOD I HATE TALKING ABOUT THESE SYMPTOMS SO MUCH#suspecting (quiet) bpd... but who knows#me when i suffer but i try not to let anyone see even though the Thoughts are swirling in my head constantly and i suffer 10x more#the little things just feel soo big#at least i love hard and try to be kind <3#trying to heal#brought to you by lena luthor s6 talking to alex about not feeling like part of the team and not feeling like enough of a hero#and trying to atone for her past actions and feeling so horrified at the things she did#i felt that
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im good im fine im good im fine im good im fine im good im fine im gonna fucking kill someone im fine im good im fine im good im fi-
#im the kind of anger where i dont even feel anything but quiet white hot rage#my art#i fucking guess#enjoy my fuck nederland im getting the fuck out of this shithole racist country doodles i guess
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henryk gives levi a bowl of soup at the train that he ends up throwing up bc of withdrawals + it being more rich than the food hes used to and karin IMMEDIATELY goes to thinking he just poisoned levi and comes very close to shooting him
#i love silly moments like that. signs of what is to come#karin being the one to save levi from caligura and trying to temper down her brusqueness around him bc she feels shit whenever he goes--#--quiet around her righteous anger (ESPECIALLY regarding his situation when she immediately goes for condemnation of those in power--#--and the shit she is comfortable+used to going to rather than compassion+attentivity towards what he just said. does that make sense) is--#--SO good. think the karin levi abella team up from mine karin run is one of my favorite hypotheticals#also kind of like the idea that as spurned by abella telling him to do something useful henryk ends up tailing daan into old town prehevil-#--bc they shouldnt be leaving the resident doctor alone in a strange situation and ends up spending the whole time wincing away from the--#--organ harvesting and the attempted moonscorched treatments like doctor can you PLEASE stop sticking your hands in holes. we need to--#--find food .
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Something terrible has happened to both of us, and there's a deep level of understanding and dependency born of this that no other person has been able to breach
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2. This terrible thing has happened to both of us, and you don't remember it
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3. You keep indirectly asking me if I remember a terrible thing happening to us but you will not tell me what it might have been. Every time, I tell you exactly how little I remember, and you don't tell me anything more, but that answer must not make you feel any better, because you keep asking me, every so often, just to check. You never tell me what I'm supposed to be remembering. You certainly never apologize. I can't remember, but you seem like you have something you want to apologize for
#AND I REMEMBER. THE TRAAAIIIIIN HEADED SOUUTH OUTTA BANGKOK DOWN. TOWARD. THE WATER.#just. gestures to previous reblogs. haunting kinds of stories. they just kinda getcha.#and i will never be over source decay. it did something to me#the routine of it. the old tired anger. the grief the connection etc etc i like these torture devices from my old best friend. etc.#quiet implications. like damn we're both in the dark about this situation huh. i guess we're both gonna be wondering about this one narrato#r. only your old buddy knows the whole story i guess! god.#so anyway i think it clicks with the first two ideas in a similar kind of way
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hi im talking about my ocs again. it's been easier to find songs for david and particularly david's perception of nate than vice versa. but one day ill find the perfect nate song i know
#nate is so clear to me#quiet. full of barely contained anger. lonely. distant.#full of a kind of love that's hard to reach#he's not good at being close to people.#i love nate#i love him so much#persimmon's rambles
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actually im kind of glad that my neighbours piss me off the second i wake up because it's actually getting me to remember to take my emotional regulation meds
#its kind of funny. kind of infuriating#they have no need to be that loud at 7am but they Are so might as well use it to my advantage#instead of just getting angry#i get angry and think 'oh right the meds that help me feel less angry'#I'm still angry but it's a quiet anger instead of angry enough to scream and bang on the ceiling and hit things#it's helping me manage my reactions and stuff
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Mochi's semi-violent tendencies never fail to surprise me 😭
it’s not?
#but thank you for the hugs mochi many kisses to you as well#i was very easy to anger as a child so i kind of get why some people are unable to control it#but the reason why i used to blow up back then was because it was the people closest to me that provoked me#then life disappointed and tired me out so much i forgot how to get angry#another reason why i love alhaitham. he GETS it.#actually getting people to quiet down when they're screaming at you is pretty easy#stay silent until they finish the sentence they're yelling - lower your voice a bit and tell them gently and flatly to 'calm down'#might not work for every person but i'm speaking from first hand experience
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we also like surface level liked how yuki's delusions and hallucinations were treated in school live. like she's cared for by the other girls and they all treat her with respect and compassion, and as long as she's not actively putting herself in danger they don't challenge her even though it has to be painful for them sometimes
#like how she talks to megu that had to be hard on kurumi and yuuri at first#like you just lost the only adult in this situation and then your friend just acts like it didnt happen and continues talking to her#especially for yuuri. that must have been rough#even though they did all end up appreciating the fact that yuki was able to stay so cheerful/normal#which btw isnt like a reflection of general treatment of psychosis its more of a our teacher turned into a zombie thing#anyways. just the way the most negative response/reaction yuki ever got from the girls was confusion or sadness#never anger or frusturation or hostility or anything#they just understood thats how yuki's brain works and did their best to keep her safe both physically and mentally/emotionally#and the way in the finale yuki recgonizes all this and says she cant let bad things happen to her friends#and that she knows how theyve been protecting her this whole time#just. aughh#like school live isnt some super progressive display of anti psych or anything#but just in the sense that it shows hallucinations and delusions being met with kindness and understanding#just. surface level. very good#AND its never used in a horror aspect even though its a horror series#like none of the horror comes from the fact that yuki is psychotic#maybe some tension between the girls or a stark contrast between yuki's perception and reality#but the fact that yuki hallucinates is never the horror itself. in fact its almost presented as a good thing#or at the very least a neutral thing. like how megu tells yuki to be quiet and hide with the zombie in the library#and her view of the world is what keeps her functioning#just. yeah#like we just like how its presented as just part of yuki as opposed to some tragedy or scary thing#confluence.txt#school life club#<- tag!
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i need a way to get rid of this rage because it will kill me but like how. when the world is Like That. how.
#topic of rage spiral today: child abuse and familial culture in america#like i can vent my rage for hours just walking around talking to myself getting really mad#and it never like. lessens or goes away#i can ignore it but only for very short periods of time because like everything is a trigger for me for anger/despair#i can't interact with my family without having to keep a lid on my simmering anger at the moronic ways we treat each other#and the sheer stupidity of it all#also i can't like avoid my family cause i live here and if my mom thinks i'm not being normal enough (spending toomuch time alone) (etc)#she'll start a fight herself like come ON#and this is just like one category of anger like. i have so many more#and it's compounded by sexism too like im a woman so the responses to my (real. valid.) anger are either social ostracization in an attempt#to make me self-correct my anger#or a show of force to put me in my place#like fuckkkk youuuuuu#when your man gets mad you quiet down and (though you are incapable of being kind) you fawn in ways like increased eye contact and softer#tone of voice. sometimes you even let him leave while still angry instead of beating him down into nothing (though not always!)#and writing all this out does not make me less angry! ignoring it is impossible! I can only briefly distract myself and hope that maybe som#fucking day i'll win the lottery or something and have enough money to move out on my own
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....Damian picked a REALLY good way to bond, ngl. I bet Danny is incredibly touched? Like everyone's always "oh you can't do that D:< " etc but here is his new brother looking him calmly in the eyes saying "he has hurt you? Torn your family apart and made your childhood hell? Then I will help you make him pay. I believe you when you say he deserves this." Like?? 🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭 b-bro *is extremely touched* *new favorite brother achieved*
They aren't gonna WIN, mind you. Santa has canonical fought and delivered to both Satan AND Darseid, ANNUALLY. WHILE they knew he was coming. Plus he has the devastating surprise final attack that WILL absolutely win the day against Danny..... he's a genuinely, incredibly, unrestrainedidly Good & Kind old man who just wants to help people and make people happy. He WOULD let Danny destroy him, after giving it "his all" (for the children!), if that meant Danny could be happy again. Could be healed.
But it WON'T. And Danny's gonna know that, standing over the "defeated" Santa. It was his parents. THEY ruined Christmas. THEY chose to fight. THEY decided being right... was more important... then... he was... oh. Oh.
All he wanted was his family together. Santa can't bring that though can he?
But he CAN, and he points to the Bats, fighting along side him or to stop him from making a terrible mistake because they CARE. And Santa is sorry it took him so long to get him his present, families don't fit in boxes you see, and it took a while for him to make his case to Fate. He wore them down though~! *cheerful old man twinkle*
And GDI now Danny can't be MAD at him? Stop that! Cease and desist! I still hate your holiday! *trying to be upset and failing noises, mostly just old sorrows healing and general grumbles noises* And Santa's like, that's COMPLETELY OKAY, young man! Bouncing up like "lol, suprise, I actually LET you wail on me but I'm in reality completely fine! I did it to make you feel better AND IT WORKED TOO" to much outraged squawking and "You played me!" "Like a Cheap Kazoo! :D " (sassy santa?! Noooo now Danny REALLY has to like him!!! You bastard!)
Cause like? Santa doesn't care ONE BIT if you buy the tree or do the decorations or any of the commercialism bits of holiday. He cares if you are TOGETHER with those you love and are happy. Split a cupcake and call it a night for all he cares, as long as you do it together and tried to be/do good during the year leading up to it. Which Danny can't argue with. Stop being so Nice and Wholesome, Santa! He wanted to PUNCH SOMEBODY to get some catharsis damn it! He can't punch nice old men!
"Tell ya what," *gentle hand on the shoulder, cheerful eye twinkle ✨* "when it comes time to deliver? You want to come help me deliver a very special piece of coal to Darkseid? You can be my honorary elf for the day."
Danny learns the true meaning of Christmas.... Violence against parademons. Close enough? It's a work in progress.
Fade to credits on the Dc×Dp Christmas special!
Damian doesn't know who Santa Claus is and Danny tries to gaslight him into believing in Santa
Okay but, like, wouldn't even be gaslighting! Santa canonically does exist in the DC universe, I think I remember reading something about him fighting through an army in hell to give Darkseid a single piece of coal once?
So like, Danny doesn't have to gaslight Damian into believing Santa's real, he just has to pull out the proof (Danny has a binder of everything he knows about the Spirit of Christmas for the purpose of when he eventually goes to war with him, Danny hates Christmas so fucking much haha) and show him evidence that Santa is real.
Probably ranting the entire time about how much he hates the guy & Christmas and it's obvious that this is Danny's arch nemesis. His one true villain above all others. Pariah Dark? A nuisance. Dark Dan? Just a tuesday. Santa? That motherfucker is the bane of Danny's existence and he will pay for what he's done (spread Christmas cheer).
And Danny's the newest member to the family. Damian's been encouraged to get to know his new brother and try and bond with him a bit, make him feel like part of the family. So, obviously, the best way to do that is to help Danny in his quest for vengeance.
And of course Tim & Jason end of getting roped in on this. Damian's grown since he's first came to live with his father. He still is a little brat to his older brothers - he's the baby of the family it's his right - but he doesn't actively hate them anymore and can admit when their particular skills would be useful. Tim is the best at strategizing, and Jason is a combat master with access to all sorts of weapons. With all of them working together Santa has no chance, they will destroy him.
Which all just makes me think of something like this happening lol:
“What…uh, what are they doing?” Duke glanced between the chaos unfolding in the family room to where Dick was calmly seated in his favorite chair, sipping idly at a cup of coffee.
“Sibling bonding.” Dick said. There was that specific aura of calm around him that said that he’d already gone through several crisis and all the stages of grief at least twice. Considering the calamity and chaos the eldest batkid had seen over the years - and especially the last few months since Bruce officially adopted Danny and brought him into the fold - it was a bad sign that he’d reached this particular state of Done (TM) before noon. The earliest Dick even woke up was two in the afternoon.
Duke contemplated turning around right then and there - the particular combination of people all excitedly feeding off each other’s feral energy on the other side of the room was a catastrophe in the making he didn’t want to be anywhere near when it finally breached containment and spilled out into the wider world - but unfortunately he was cursed with the curiosity that afflicted all members of the bat clan.
“It looks like they’re plotting to try and kill Santa Claus.”
Dick turned to look at Duke fully for the first time since he’d entered the room. He had the eyes of one that was deeply haunted by the horrors they had witnessed. On the other side of the room Tim was ranting about anti-magic tech while Danny, Damian and Jason argued over what weapons would be most effective against a demi god. There were schematics of what looked worryingly like a rocket launcher looking device that - if the scribbles on the whiteboard someone had drug into the room where to be believed - was going to be rigged to shoot ecto-grenades.
“Danny hates Christmas.” Dick said, and Duke noticed for the first time that his hands around the coffee cup were faintly trembling. “He’s declared Santa is his arch nemesis.”
Duke blinked, glancing over to the others long enough to see Danny start frantically scribbling the words Christmas Nuke on the whiteboard. No one else was trying to erase it. Tim looked worriedly contemplative. Damian and Jason where both nodding in agreement.
He was going to regret this. “But Santa isn’t real?”
Dick’s eyes gained a faintly manic glean, and Duke could faintly hear the sound of porcelain creaking warningly beneath the desperate hold he had on his coffee cup. “That’s what I thought!” Dick said, with enough cheer to make Duke flinch back instinctively. “But apparently he is.” A distinct crack appeared in the cup, coffee dripping down into Dick’s lap. “And apparently they’re going to war with him!”
Well, Duke considered, at least that explained why he caught the four of them burning down the giant Christmas tree in the city center last night.
#dc x dp prompt#dpxdc#dc x dp#dp x dc#danny phantom#danny fenton#batman#damian wayne#tim drake#jason todd#duke thomas#dick grayson#batpham#batfam#danny hates christmas so fucking much#Bruce didn't know this kid was a half ghost god-king of an entire infinite dimension of death he just saw a sad kid in a bad situation#it wouldn't have changed anything if he'd known Danny had adoption bait written all over him#but he at least would have been able to better prepare for the kind of supernatural shenanigans that would pop up#Duke took one look at 4 of his brothers standing around a burning christmas tree at 3 in the morning holding gas cans & lighters & thought:#not my circus not my monkeys#he was the day shift vigilante he didn't get paid to deal with his family's shit in the middle of the night#he didn't get paid *period* he wasn't going to do volunteer chaos gremlin wrangling#Dick just wanted *one* day of relative quiet#he should have known that wasn't going to happen#Santa has been PLANNING this redemption arc for years#the Doctors Fenton be getting SO MUCH COAL#Naughty list for them#they had ONE JOB#Santa gonna save this kid from his anger and give him a healthy outlet if its the last thing he does#dc×dp Christmas Special
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…why am I even doing this. And am I feeling a distortion or reality.
#tiger’s roar#mental health bullshit#…do…you even accept that my trauma IS religious AND social AND academic or…#can you accept that I HAVE to trust y’all to be frank about it#and I REALLY have to trust y’all to even let on about how deep my anger is if I’ll ever get to recover from it#DO YOU EVEN GET IT that I am TRYING to deal with healing or I’d avoid this entirely. effectively never see ANY of you again#…do you understand just how. absolutely exhausted and used up I feel#(do you Get It that your son has that same Worry. but I’m feeling very very jaded with not knowing WHERE he would even give his own effort)#DO YOU GET THAT I AM QUEER. and that 98% of my actual close friends are ALSO queer. and they can’t ‘hide in plain sight’ as well as I can#but!! my identity will NEVER be accepted. an affirming romantic/committed relationship will NEVER be ‘ordained’ here IF THE CHURCH IS RIGHT#…because right now I feel like once again only the Kind Mask and keeping my head (mostly) down and Be Quiet Only Sing#was all that was ever ‘accepted.’ and that’s no acceptance at all#can you accept my pain. because most cannot.#it seemed like you were trying to get my trust for the better part of TWO. YEARS.#well I finally gave some of it. and if it’s not being rejected…then.
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The only way I can enjoy writing female characters is if she’s angry super flawed and wild. Someone else write the normal girls cuz it’s not gonna be me
#Jules Claire Juliana Tara etc#all kinds of anger and violence#Rebekah and Nora and Angela also#I like beastly women#sorry feminists but the quiet nice girls are so boring to me#on writing#ocs#thoughts#all of my faves are monsters except Charlie inchresting
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