#a post really where i say nothing of consequence 😭 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

08melancholie · 18 days ago

Note

Hi! First of all: love your writings! Somehow you manage to give me exactly what I want. I have read the lessen your stress one, amazing. Thank you. Lots of loves from the other side of the screen.

Now, I would like to request a one shot Micah/F!Reader (or GN reader if you want) where a really sweet and kind Reader likes Micah and actually wants to sleep with him but is a virgin and kind of shy, in contrast with the rough, brute Micah we all know, who will obviously want to sleep with reader too (either bc he likes them back or simply bc he’s desperate and wants sex, you decide, just please don’t miss characterize him too much, I like my Micah as the asshole he is :’) <3

Thank you very much and I really appreciate your work! <3 have a good day!

thank you sm for the compliments <33 and dw because i like to also keep my men just as scummy at times🙏

Some aspects might be similar to 'Untouched' here (still attached to that fic like a leech chat..) but i'll make sure it still sounds new!

Lose Some; Gain Some. — Micah Bell/Reader

tags: Smut, Porn, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Micah Bell Is His Own Warning, Virginity, Loss of Virginity, Vaginal Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Sex, Orgasm, Multiple Orgasms, Rough Sex, but just a bit at the end, its micah he doesnt know how to be gentle sorry guys, Not Beta Read, no beta we die like micah bell

summary: You would rather take over doing everyone's chores in camp forever, than ask the question thats currently been plaguing your mind; one of your lowest lows, probably. You were told that a woman's virginity is a precious thing, how you had to lose it to the right person. This, however, you found to be total bullshit. And you wanted nothing more than the man who was Micah Bell to do it for you.

a/n: first ask yippiee!! i am so busy with exams oh lord i barely made time for this😭 i hope its to your liking!!! second ao3 post today im on a roll actually🙏🙏

words: 3,201 | AO3 LINK

Still being a virgin at this age is almost laughable. Well, it is; the girls haven't stopped teasing you since you told them during a game Mary-Beth told everyone about. You had to answer the question asked by Karen—about your sex life—or drink. You answered that you were still a virgin, and a few of them laughed; haven't stopped making jabs at you since. It's almost irritating.

And, your irritation made you slip up—by saying you'd lose your virginity tonight.

"What!? Tonight? With who?" Karen immediately snapped her head in your direction and away from the fresh laundry she and you were folding. There go the consequences of your actions. Who the hell do you even say?

You put down your own laundry back into your lap. "Well," You'll either have to lie your ass off, or go for the truth; but you sure as hell were not going for the latter. "guy I met in the saloon while we were still in Valentine, we've been writing." Not too bad.

Karen chuckled, thankfully buying into your lie. "Well, ain't I happy for you! It's about damn time, anyway." She goes back to the chore, like yourself, and continues your previous conversation.

Let's think logically—or, as logically as you could—about this; you don't exactly trust finding a random man in a bar to do this with, so who is going to eagerly take your virginity? Who would you ask that wouldn't tell anyone in camp about it, keep it between you two for the exchange of taking it from you? Who would you want to take your virginity?

You thought about how sweet Arthur would be; how he'd probably understand and treat you right, talk you through everything while praising you for following his instructions so well. Or maybe Charles; A gentle giant that would worship you as should be, show you how everything is done while talking in that deep tone you love to hear.

And then your mind went completely south of the previous two. You thought about how greedy he'd be, touching and moving his hands all over your body, wanting to feel every crevice under his rough fingertips. How he'd see taking your virginity as a precious thing, how you were told growing up, something you wanted him to have—and also as the biggest ego boost ever. He'd probably be a complete tease, too, nor would he talk you through the process like the other two. He'd probably just go for it, no instructions as you scrambled for what you had to do while he—

Jesus Christ, that's the last person you should be even 'just considering'.

Micah Bell is NOT an option here; forget it. Even if the heat between your legs didn't agree with these terms, you would not give your first time to that bastard. He was just an egotistical, rude, mouthy degenerate. Why the hell was the thought of how poorly he'd treat the situation getting you so worked up? You're practically soaking your garments over this bastard; and that's a problem.

Oh, but it's so tempting; this, unfortunately, wasn't the first time you've caught yourself thinking of him, imagining him in bed—which is reasonably worse than the former. Could you refuse yourself this small want? When you think about it, he might be one of the only people here who'd jump to get intimate without question, seeing how he catcalls and flirts with most of camp; including yourself a few times. God, were you really going to do this? How would you even bring it up?

This was something you needed to think of on the way, because it was nearing nighttime and you'd probably lose him to the darkness in the outskirts of camp, where he's usually found. As soon as you finished folding the laundry, you excused yourself from Karen and went to find Micah, thinking over what you would say to him. You had a whole dialogue figured out by the time you spotted him smoking by Baylock, probably having gotten done tending to the horse after the job he went on today. You really had to just brace yourself and follow your little plan, while hoping it'll turn out how you envisioned it to.

He noticed you approaching while you were a few steps away, the nervousness in your body language not hard to make out; hands clasped together, eyes focusing everywhere but on his own, your steps almost reluctant. He raised an eyebrow at you while taking a drag from the cigarette. "Look who it is; worried I'mma bite 'ya?"

You were barely able to give a reaction to his words, your nerves making you go almost silent. "Hah, no.. no, I'm..." Come on! We practiced this six times already! As soon as your eyes darted to his own greyish-blues, you lost your goddamn ability to speak. For the love of God; get your shit together. "Listen; this is very hard for me to even say out loud." Well, it's a good start.

Micah's eyebrows furrow slightly, your sudden shyness compared to the usual quips you could muster up back to his flirting or teasing very abnormal. But, he doesn't comment on it, wanting to hear you out before he teased you further. "Go on then, girl." He speaks, tossing his cigarette elsewhere.

The embarrassment this will leave you in will be history. "Okay.. so, uh.. I need your help with something—let's say." Your words just make him more confused; speaking to him in these absurd riddles. "Would you just.. hear me out?"

The blonde man nods after a moment, folding his arms over his chest while leaning back on the tree. Okay, you can get the words out, trust yourself.

"Would you.. and it's just a one-time thing, may I add." You start, a blush creeping up your neck and to your cheeks as you tried to think of what you were saying; you were about to ask Micah to get intimate with you. Yeah, you don't think this low can be matched. Nonetheless, no giving up now. "Would you take.. take my uh.. virginity?" As soon as the words leave your mouth, you have to hold back from fleeing the scene. "Listen—I lied to the girls and I just.. fuck, it's you."

Micah's had a small smirk on his face, mostly directed towards your nervous and shy state, until the sentence finally left your mouth. His smile dropped and he assumed he heard you wrong. "What'd you say.? Would I take.. your virginity?" He repeats back to you, definitely sure he's heard you wrong. But as you slowly nod your head, unable to open your mouth any longer, his eyes slowly widen a little more, rubbing his chin in thought. "Well, goddamn. You're one bold 'lil thing, ain'tcha?" Here comes the teasing you envisioned.

You roll your eyes to the comment. "I don't need your comments, Micah. You in or not? I'll gladly find someone else." You threaten, biting your cheek. Don't make me find someone else.

He perks up at your empty threat. "Hey—no, don't threaten me now, doll," He leans off the tree and gets right in your personal space, hands on his gun belt. "you know I love to help a lady in need out." He purrs at you, looking down almost menacingly.

"Good," You murmur, the closer he got the more nervous it made you. "then.. it's settled." It's only when he stands right before you, hands running up from your outer thighs to your sides, that you start processing what you've gotten yourself into.

His hands glide over your waist, feeling you up through your shirt. "Surprised yer still untouched, many would love a little body like this in their hands." His words and the small squeeze to your sides send butterflies straight to your stomach; you could practically lose it right then and there. "But it's only little ole me that gets it, huh?" His claim is followed by a darkish chuckle, ringing in your ears. He stops his hands over your ribs and the underside of your chest, looking down shamelessly at the little cleavage your shirt provides. "Well then; my tent?"

It took him barely a few seconds to get you through the flaps of his tent, tying the canvas shut and making sure you've got the bit of privacy camp life can offer. It takes him even less time to shove you down to his cot, seating yourself on the mattress and looking up at him settling atop you, knees around your outer thighs. "Don't you look pretty under me like this." His hands cup around the underside of your jawline, thumbs running up and down the outline of your face. "So, ever kissed a feller?"

You raise an eyebrow at the question. "Not that much of a prude." Your quick response gets a gruff chuckle out of him for a brief moment, before he'd leaned down and captured your lips with his, setting a nice and quick pace for the kiss. You return it with just as much swiftness, hand reaching for his belt buckle and gripping it, earning an appreciative sound out of Micah. "Good girl," His tongue swipes over your bottom lip, trying to enter your mouth rather quickly; but you don't complain, quickly complying. He gets himself an immediate taste of you, tongue swirling around in your mouth as if mapping out the contour of the body part. He goes back to exploring the rest of your body with his hands, moving them all around your sides and waist before stopping at the hem of your shirt and breaking away from your mouth briefly. "Let me see what I'm workin' with, doll." You breathe in the air that the kiss knocked out of you for a moment before wordlessly nodding, lifting your arms up for him to slide the shirt off, peeling it away from your torso and arms as you're sat almost bare from the stomach up now, only covered by your bra. Your shirt is tossed elsewhere, and he goes back to appreciating the view in front of him—or well, under him.

"Oh, you're perfect, little lady." He doesn't hesitate to reach his hands to your chest almost immediately, cupping you through the bra while running his thumbs on the upper flesh that was exposed. His fingers are as calloused as you envisioned, as if moulding your soft flesh with every swipe of his digits on your skin. He knows his way around your body, probably from the experience you lack. One hand stops groping you and moves to your back again, fiddling with your bra before unclasping it. Why is it that your shyness is only hitting you now? As soon as he starts moving your bra straps down to reveal your bare chest to him, you finally process that he's about to see you nude, and you definitely show some signs of reluctance. He notices your sudden demeanour change and looks from your chest to your eyes. "Come on, I don't judge, princess. Bet you're realll purty under here." His finger slips between your cleavage and hooks to the middle of your bra that connects the two pieces as he tugs at the material, slowly moving it away from your bare chest. It slips off your shoulders and arms, and you feel like a prey being inspected by it's hunter under that dark gaze Micah's blues hold. "Like I said.. damn beautiful."

Your shyness and nerves don't pass him by, and he doesn't want you to feel uneasy while he gets what he wants, so he decides to try and ease you up with another kiss, leaning up and snaking one hand to the back of your head to pull you in while the other went to your jean button, undoing it before moving to the zipper. The kiss definitely helped calm you a bit, your hands on his shoulders now as you clung to his shirt, kissing back with a small hum in your throat. He works your zipper down and hooks his fingers into your waistband, breaking the kiss again. "Lift your hips real quick," When you comply, he pulls your jeans down and you help him by kicking them off when they reach your ankles. His hand finds itself right between your legs, swiping at your still-clothed and warm entrance to find you just as aroused as he was. "damn, lookat'chu. Surprised a lady sweet as you'd be this wet over fuckin' a bastard like me." You almost moan at his comment, your garments definitely as damp as you felt them between your legs, drawing your shyness and embarrassment to a whole new level.

He leans away from you to strip his jeans off, first unclasping his gun belt and placing it over to where your shirt was, slowly moving into unzipping and undoing any other restraint that stopped him from getting naked. He looks to you—just watching him strip his pants off—and chuckles briefly. "Well? Get them panties off, sweetheart. Ain't need experience for that." You snap your eyes away from the small peek of a happy trail on his stomach that you, shamelessly at that, were staring at and stand up momentarily to slip your undergarments off, tossing them just shy of the other articles of clothing. "Mm, good, good.." He hums, letting his jeans drop before wasting no time with his drawls, slipping them off and freeing the leaky, visibly throbbing erection that was hidden in it. Your eyes scan over the length; it doesn't look too big, you can probably take it...

But where many assume Micah lacks in length—he makes up for in thickness.

He positions you to turn and bend over the cot slightly, hands on the mattress and back slightly arched. He's moving you around like a doll, positioning you to his liking. He lets out a small whistle when he's got you exactly how he wants you. "Ain't often I get a chance to do this type of thing... Almost feels like an early birthday gift." He chuckles while running one hand down your spine and moving to your hip, stroking himself with the other. He swipes two fingers over your entrance—earning himself a small moan—and uses it, mixed with some of his precum, to moisten his member up. "Now, might hurt a bit, ain't gonna lie to 'ya." You knew that much, mostly why you were adamant to the idea of sex for a while, but it can't be that bad, can it? "But we'll try to keep calm, eh girl?" He punctuates his last sentence with a squeeze to your hip before his tip slides between your warm folds, slickening himself up some more while he rubs his cock just shy of your entrance—unable to help himself from teasing you some. You let out a plethora of meek moans and huffs, your cunt itching for him to just ease it in. After a moment, he stops his tip at your entrance, ready to slide in. "I'mma go slow, try to make it.. durable for 'ya."

There's definitely a small stretch mixed into the overwhelming feeling of your walls being filled by Micah's thick shaft, clenching around him as you sigh and gasp to every inch filling you. "Shh, you're alright.. look," He reaches one hand over around you, two fingers pressing to your clit and making slow circles on it. Your sighs turn into small moans again. "Yeah.. good, focus on ma' hand, baby." He hums, slowly starting to bottom out into your pussy. His hips meet your rear as he continued to rub over your nub, giving you a brief moment to adjust before he pulls out to the tip—then slides right back in. The pain isn't as bad as people made it out to be, but some have a higher pain tolerance either way. You do your best to focus on the sensation Micah's rough fingers are playing on your clit, more than the way his cock slams into you and creates an almost echo-ey sound of skin-on-skin slapping, filling the tent with the suggestive melody.

The repetitive motion of his dick brushing your gummy walls has you on cloud-nine; you're gasping and moaning, letting his name slip past your lips in a pitched tone, grasping fistfuls of the sheets underneath you as his pace slowly gets faster per thrust. "Don't think it's smart I cum inside," He chuckles, punctuating himself with another slam of his hips into your ass, followed by your sweet little whine, almost like a protest. "you want me to?" He asks curiously due to your whine, and his grin gets so much wider when you nod your head, and his pace turns relentless. He starts fucking into you how he likes, trying to get himself to cum while rubbing you faster to get you there with him. "Can't wait to feel you clench this pretty cunt around me," He purrs with a small kiss to the nape of your neck before his focus is back on fucking his throbbing cock into you, getting himself closer by the moment.

You feel your own orgasm start to approach, your legs slightly jittery from the upcoming feeling. Micah takes quick note of this change and rubs your clit faster, drawing more whiny moans out of you that get muffled by the action of burying your head into the mattress; last thing you need is someone hearing you moaning Micah's name. Your whines are breathless and abrupt, getting cut off by each of Micah's quick thrusts into your cunt, all until you finally feel yourself tip over the edge and you cum, the clench of your pussy around Micah enough to get him there just a moment after you. He buries his cock deep into you, holding you up from collapsing into the bed by the hips as his chest makes contact with your back, the side of his head on the very top of your torso as he gasps breathlessly. "Ah.. there we go.." You can feel him empty himself inside you, your shaky legs barely supporting you with Micah doing most of the work.

He gives himself a moment before pulling out and placing you down to lay on the cot. "Let me tell you somethin', darlin';" He gets his underwear and jeans off the floor, slipping into both before leaning over you to whisper into your ear. "This definitely ain't 'gon be a one-time thing—not with how addicting that cunt is, or with how 'ya love to scream my name." He purrs lowly while clasping his gun belt back up, running a hand down your spine and stopping at your ass with a firm squeeze before moving you to lay more comfortably on his bed. "Well, get comfortable, think I'm up for a smoke.." He lazily tosses a random blanket in his tent over you—it's the thought that counts, apparently—before leaving you in his tent to rest up.

And you agree; he's addicting, and you will be fucking again.

Kudos on AO3 very appreciated!! we love the micah smut where hes still an ass to us <3

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residenthughes · 1 year ago

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bottomless brunch & shitty one-liners

pairing: leon kennedy x gender neutral reader

word count: 959 😔

tags/warnings: fluff, domestic fluff, crack, reader is just a drunk horny bastard :)

summary: 2 hours. thirteen cocktails and a whole lot of chaos.

notes: ...hey 😭 i know i said i wouldn't be posting/maybe not posting but i was looking through my fic ideas and this happened. whoopsies! 🤭 honestly, this was just a silly idea i had because i came across a video of all the one-liners leon says in re4, which are very much present in this.

forgot to mention, there's biting...again 😭 i don't know what it is, but the urge to bite leon is quite real and that reflects in my fics 😁 hope y'all enjoy :)

You’re drunk, disgustingly so. Bottomless brunch is always a good way to spend time with your dearest, spilling intimate talk amidst intoxicated giggles and basking in the foreverness of formed friendships. However, they do not come without consequence - that being you an absolute state in front of Leon. Your dutiful long-time partner, ever so sweet as he spared the precious time he has off from his missions to pick you up from the wild affair - thirteen cocktails deep - sheepishly greeting your friends that holler sexual innuendos as he helps you into the car. He does it anyway, because he loves you. He loves you, he really does - but you’re chatting out of your ass right now.

“You know, considering how you move around the house, you must be the GOAT at what you do,” you mumble, smushing your face into the pillow as you cause nothing but a ruckus as you discard your additional pieces of clothing on the bed.

Sat on the bedroom bench, Leon shrugs his boots off, glancing over his shoulder at the mess you are. Stupidly drunk and struggling to shimmy off your jeans. Cute. “Oh, baby.”

“Those one-liners though…that’s a different story.”

The sweet moment is all but gone. “Gee, thanks honey.”

Despite the fact that there’s not a thought behind your eyes, you smile at his sarcasm. Snickering to yourself as you shimmy the last part of your jeans off before they’re lazily discarded onto the floor. You’ll (Leon will) pick it up later. “Honestly! Bet you’re the type of motherfucker to be confronted with unbelievable atrocities, only to say, it’s my lucky day or something.”

Leon huffs in amusement. He’s definitely said that before.

“Go on,” he decides to entertain your teasing, stripping himself of the leather jacket you went on and on about in the car looking so good on him. “What other one-liners do you think I say?”

You give a thoughtful hum, touching your chin as you lay back against the comfort of your shared bed. The time you take to answer has Leon taking a look back at you, questioning if you’d fallen into a drunken slumber, like a drunk middle aged uncle passed out on the couch, only to see your face flash as an idea pops into your head.

“Oh, how about something like, time for the teacher to be taught?”

It’s scary how well you know Leon. His most recent mission had him spewing the exact same words. It gives him goosebumps. “You sure you’re not reading my reports when I’m not looking?”

You giggle. “Just know how cheesy you can be, hon.”

“Now you’re just making fun of me.”

The laughter that erupts from you is unstoppable, so much so that you’re clenching your stomach and kicking your feet in the air. Leon can be so funny, so funny. You’re lucky to have him, you think.

Once you wipe your tears of laughter, you’re bringing yourself to sit upwards. Slowly, of course. Wouldn’t want to be sick all over the bed. Again. You move towards where Leon rests against the bedroom bench, draping your arms around his waist and you rest your cheek against his shoulder. “I kid, I kid. You know I love you.”

“Judging by what you’ve just said in the past two minutes, I’m not too sure.” He says, but he doesn’t mean it. He’s amused, if anything. You can tell by his amused smile and the playful raise of his eyebrows.

Your eyes skim over his features, carved to perfection and all yours.

You hug him just a bit tighter.

“Come on,” you nudge him, all playful in his ear as you coax him to look your way. He does, smoulder melting into his features as he gazes at you with a fondness that’s all for you. You feel restless. Must be the alcohol kicking in. “There’s that pretty smile, handsome.”

“Handsome, huh?”

You don’t know what it is, but the simple echo of your words coming from him sets you off, sending you on a collision course towards the ever so sinful and lustful domain.

“Extremely so,” you bat your eyelashes and nudge him again. “Come on, handsome. Look this way.”

He looks at you. His face on full display and you take your chance, kissing the edge of his lips before you misaim and bite down on his jaw. “What is with you?”

Leon’s chuckling as you kiss the bitten territory, kissing up and down his face in sweet apologies. Leon doesn’t miss when you bite down on his chin amidst the mess of kisses you leave.

“Can’t help it,” you murmur lazily, cheek pressed against his shoulder. “Too sexy - even your goddamn chin. Make it make sense.”

“Can’t believe that meme about your partner going out to bottomless brunch, only to come back a horny bastard is true.” Leon talks to himself but you perk up anyways, glimmer in your eyes.

“You saw the memes I sent you?”

“‘Course I did,” Leon answers, placing a brief kiss against your temple. You relax into his touch. “I do other things besides say shitty one-liners on my missions.”

You smile, ever so grateful for the place Leon holds in your life. You couldn’t imagine it any other way. “How romantic.”

“Only for you, baby.”

You hum against the exposed skin of his shoulder, peering up at the man with a devious glimmer in your eyes. Leon can’t help but shake his head as he airs out a small chuckle.

“So, about the meme,” you wiggle your eyebrows, pressing your body up against Leon’s wide back, grin as mischievous as ever. “How about we put it to practise?”

And you do, making another mess of your sheets this time around.

#leon kennedy #re4r #leon kennedy fanfic #leon kennedy x reader #re4r leon #resident evil 4 remake #leon kennedy fluff #leon kennedy imagine #leon s kennedy #leon s kennedy imagine #leon s kennedy x reader #resident evil 4 #resident evil #resident evil fanfic #resident evil 4 fanfic #resident evil fluff

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rekino2114 · 1 month ago

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Omg the recent episode for despair time😭😭😭 not to mention the ending with Teruko. We totally need Teruko with a boyfriend who's just always there for and reassuring her that he loves her and will never leave her no matter what.

You saving teruko from her execution

A/n:I know this isn't exactly what you asked for, but come on, this was too good of a fic opportunity to pass up. Sorry if this isn't what you wanted but I hope you still like it

Yes, this is the second drdt post in a row, but writing is my coping mechanism, and with how much trauma chapter 2 gave me You're probably gonna see more fics about it

The second trial had finally ended. After hours of discussion, you had finally figured out that ace was the culprit, the one who killed arei, and so you voted for him accordingly. You wanted nothing more than to go back to your room and hug teruko after all of this,You both were gonna need comfort after seeing another person......you just didn't know how much-needed it truly would have been.

While it was sudden at first you had no problems with teruko's plan and were actually pretty excited for it, any hope of getting you two out of this hell, no matter how small, was a good one for you and you were going to follow it.

It all started relatively well, ace managed to punch monotv, and the robot seemingly shut down before rebooting. That wasn't what shocked you,You knew there was a very high chance that it wouldn't work, but what really surprised and scared you was what he said after that

Since Ace was already going to be executed, the host decided to pass down his punishment to the one who had the idea to hurt him........teruko

"To conclude, I will now proceed with the execution of teruko tawaki"

The moment you heard those words, you froze, and when the gun came out of the floor, you could do nothing but stare at it.

Monotv started counting down and teruko......stood there, she didn't do anything she didn't even try to run or save herself even with all of you screaming at her

"What's the point I should have known this would happen, even if I shield myself behind others,even if I search for an escape, it always comes down to this, I need to face the consequences of my actions there's no escaping that"

"What are you talking about? You're going to be killed!"

"Killed? I doubt it. As if something so kind could happen to me. I won't die even if monotv puts 100 bullets in my body. I'll only be badly injured, possibly lose a body part. Maybe I'll even end up in a coma for months, but I won't die, I never will. There's nothing I can do but accept my fate. It's what I deserve after all"

"Teruko! run! please!"

"Don't worry everyone. I'll show you what it means to be the ultimate lucky student"

"Zero"

The gun fired, and blood covered everything, even teruko's clothes.......your blood

"Y-y/n! What happened?"

"I-i tried to get in front of the gun but he beat me to it"

Teruko stood silent, watching your body fall in front of her. She didn't know what to do, she didn't know what to say. She didn't know what to think. This wasn't supposed to happen.

Right now, she was supposed to be writhing in pain, almost passing out but not to the point where she couldn't feel the terrible pain, but somehow, seeing you bleeding out on the ground knowing it was her fault felt even more painful than every accident she'd ever been in

Her luck killed you

She killed you

"Ahahahahahaha of course, of fucking course"

"T-teruko?"

"I should have known this would happen, of course. It would have been too kind to even make me suffer that much. You just had to kill the only person I love"

Not even teruko herself knew who she was talking to, maybe her luck, maybe monotv, maybe whatever fate was responsible for her existence of pure suffering. She was just completely breaking down without you

"Don't worry I shut off the gun as soon as I detected that y/n was in the way, his injuries are not fatal"

"Not fatal? Is he alive?"

"He's barely breathing, he's not going to be alive for much longer-"

".............he's......still alive?"

".......Yes, he could live theoretically but only if he gets immediate treatment"

Teruko didn't know what to think. On one hand, this was probably another layer of her suffering, giving her the hope that you would live just to crush her completely when that hope was revealed to be false but on the other hand, what would she say to you if she didn't follow that hope? If she just gave up right here without even trying. She loved you more than anything, even more than herself. If you were going to die, then she at least had to try and save you.

"Get him to the infirmary now!"

Everyone was surprised by teruko's authoritative tone, but carried your body to the elevator

"Monotv open the door"

"I'm sorry, but the participants can only leave the trial grounds once the class trial is complete, that includes the death of the blackened"

As everyone argued about what to do, teruko's cold voice made them all silent

".........ace"

"NO FUCK NO, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO SAY"

"If you're so scared of being executed. Then I can solve that problem for you"

Teruko pulled her knife out of her pocket and pointed it at him with an unhinged expression on her face

"I don't think it matters if you get executed or not.......you just have to die right?"

"t-teruko you can't mean"

"Don't do it!"

"It's your choice, I'll make it quick. That's my objective after all

"......Y-YOU'RE INSANE.....YOU THINK HIS LIFE IS WORTH MORE THAN MINE!?"

"........yes"

"......!"

"Teruko? What are you saying? Why are you doing this?"

"Because.............I CAN'T LOSE Y/N"

Her yelling caught everyone off guard but they were too scared to say anything to her

"that would mean I once again caused the death of another person I loved......I-I can't deal with that again......especially since it's y/n"

"........."

"Ace, you're about to die anyway, If you really want to make things right, if you really want to at least be able to face arei in the afterlife, then die to let another person live"

"..........You're so selfish"

".............."

"But I guess I was too wasn't I?"

"A-ace"

"I'm so scared.....I'm so fucking scared I might start crying right now, bit if I really have to die.....I GUESS I'LL GO OUT DOING SOMETHING GOOD FOR ONCE IN MY GODDAMN LIFE!"

Ace got executed, and the elevator door opened as a result, Levi carried your body to it while everyone else followed him....except teruko

"T-teruko, what are you doing? Come here!"

".......no I'm staying here"

"W-what?"

"Wait before you leave though, I need to say something......Arturo If you dare let y/n die, then I'll kill you myself"

"!"

"That's a promise"

Teruko's words sent a shiver down the plastic surgeon's spine, but soon the door closed, and she was left alone with monotv, she talked with him for a while before he shut off the lights and left her truly alone, that was when she cried.....in the dark,alone. teruko almost never cried, even you had never really seen her do that, she told herself that she went trough too much suffering and despair to cry over it, she needed to be strong to face whatever tragedy her luck would bring her and to protect you from all of them but today she failed.

No matter the result, nothing would be the same. If you died, then teruko would keep her promise and be executed as a result, but even then, she most likely would not have seen you again, the execution would have somehow failed and left her in a state of complete suffering and despair, she would wish for death to see you again but she would have never gotten that luxury

And if you would survive, then you would surely hate her. She was the reason why you almost died after all, that would make you realize that being with her would just lead to you dying or being close to death and you would break up with her, she really couldn't blame you, in fact the worst part about this was she couldn't blame anything, she couldn't blame her luck, she couldn't blame fate, she could only blame herself.

When she got back to the living quarters, the first thing she did was ask Arturo about your condition. She was relieved that you had survived, but only because she didn't want to dirty her clothes in blood twice the same day. She vowed to stay with you until the moment you woke up, both because she didn't want anyone to try and kill you when you were vulnerable and because she wanted to be the first one to see you open your eyes.

She barely ate and always stood in a chair next to the bed in the infirmary, she talked to basically only eden and Charles as those were the only ones who weren't scared that she'd randomly try to stab them because of grief, she even slept there still holding your hand desperately wishing it would wrap around her own.

And one day it did

"Y-y/n, you're awake! Are you ok? Do I need to call Arturo?"

"N-no I'm fine, I think, It still kinda hurts but I'm fine now"

"Ok, I'm glad"

Silence followed. You were still getting used to being conscious again, and teruko didn't know how to start the conversation

"........why did you get in front of me?"

"Hm?"

"Why did you save me? I told you I wasn't going to die"

".........cause I can't bear to see you suffer anymore"

"W-what?"

"Every time you're in pain, it hurts me to see you like that, after everything you've been through in your life, you deserve to be happy teru, I know that I sound selfish saying this but your happiness is the most important thing in the world to me......even more than my life"

"...........do you think you seeing you dead will make me happy?"

"U-uh?"

"Sorry if I'm aggressive but.....You're wrong, the most pain someone could give me is taking you away from me. You're literally the only thing I have left, my family, my friends, they all left me, you're the only person I love that is still with me.......why?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why are you still with me? If you stay, then you'll probably end the same as every other person I loved. Today was an example of that. It's better that you leave me, for your own safety, I hate seeing you hurt, so please leave me"

"...........teruko, I'll never leave you"

"....w-why? You'll get killed if you do, i-my luck will kill you"

"........because I love you"

"......."

"What you said before, about the worst pain that you could even feel is me being taken away from you, that's exactly how I feel towards you"

"......you really do?"

"Of course teru, I love you so so so much, don't I always tell you"

"But I'm-"

"No, teruko, stop it. Stop blaming yourself, I will never leave you. That's a promise , no matter whatever your luck throws at me, I promise I will always find a way to come back, because I love you, and my love is stronger than whatever your luck is"

Teruko cried once again, no matter how much she tried to keep her tears in she couldn't stop it

"I.....I......I'm sorry"

"For what?"

"For everything, for dragging you into my life, hell the reason why you're in this killing game is probably because of me"

"Teru-"

"But if even knowing that,you still love me, if even despite everything you still want to be with me, then I promise I will protect you"

"........"

"My luck.....it's always been a curse, ripping the people I loved from me and always leaving me in pure despair but now, now that I have someone who knowing that still wants to love me, I will not let it take you no matter what"

"........thank you teruko"

She wiped her tears with her wrist and looked back at you

"No, thank you for being in my life"

Teruko stood up from the chair

"I'm going to tell Arturo you woke up and get you some water ok?"

"Yeah thanks"

She started walking away, but turned to look at you one more time, this time with a smile on her face

"......I love you too, you have no idea how much"

#danganronpa despair time #danganronpa despair time x reader #drdt x reader #drdt chapter 2 #drdt spoilers #drdt #x reader #despair time x reader #despair time #teruko tawaki x male reader #teruko tawaki x reader #teruko tawaki #x male reader #male reader

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purpurussy · 18 days ago

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hi. once you mentioned your thoughts on the take that phil stayed in the closet for dan. could you share it again with the class again. sorry

⚠️ Dan and Phil DNI⚠️

dsfhjjkl I fear I'm not well-educated enough on the lore to have an accurate take. and it's really the notion that he "went back in the closet" for dan that bothers me. but I'll try to explain how I see it and people can feel free to link me to the vitally important receipts that I'm missing here which change the whole narrative lmao

the thing is I don't think it was 100% because of dan. i do think phil would have come out sooner if dan had been in a better headspace with everything, but imo it's not entirely accurate to say that phil would have been out and proud on youtube the entire time otherwise because as far as I can tell, he wasn't ever in that position 😭 would an out and proud man have made snokoplasm.

I think phil was referring to himself as bi on myspace but so was dan back in the day. and I think id'ing as bi in a setting where you don't expect that many people to see it beyond your personal network is a very different kettle of fish from being completely vulnerable and honest about your identity as a full-on celebrity. Phil has also told anecdotes that make me feel like he had 1 foot in the closet and 1 foot out in some ways (eg auditioning for big brother and then being terrified that they'd post his audition tape bc he said he was gay and then instantly regretted it, getting outed to his family by a friend when he was in college and having an awful time with that whole situation) and I certainly haven't seen anything that would lead me to believe he was ever really out as gay (and proud) on youtube at any point before 2019. Phil has also alluded to experiencing internalized homophobia/feeling like there was something wrong with him for being gay, and I feel like people gloss over that since it wasn't as severe as Dan's experiences.

so I don't think it's entirely accurate to say phil "went back in the closet" for dan firstly because I don't think he was ever fully out of the closet until 2019. he was certainly not out and proud with 0 caveats. like he never said it with his whole chest until coty.

then there's the fact that there can be real-world consequences to coming out which can be hard to predict or manage. things are a little different now but I can imagine it would have been tough trying to do a risk-benefit analysis of coming out when they were working with the BBC, trying to get things like world tours and book deals off the ground, and also I think they were probably not hugely financially secure back then (especially very early on/around the time they moved to London). like this is pure conjecture, but I can imagine it could have been tough to come out as gay, not knowing if you'd be inadvertently tanking a career opportunity because oh never mind we already have an openly gay radio presenter on this show and we don't need 2 more, or oh no don't do that because then we'll have to cancel the shows in Russia and Malaysia or whatever ykwim? (I assumed this was also part of the reason why dan had a breakdown about wanting to come out before II started but again that's based on nothing lmao)

now that I'm thinking about nick grimshaw coming out as gay in 2012 and co-hosting the radio show with them I feel like I'm connecting some dots but again this is just me yapping. I remember finding out he was gay back then and I vaguely remember people posting about feeling "betrayed" or being otherwise homophobic towards him but I can't remember whether the general reaction was positive or negative at the time. I also feel like there's something to be said for the fact that a lot of actors/people in situations like this feel like they're competing against other members of their marginalized community, because they can't both be hired for 2 different important roles because there can only be 1 token gay/poc or whatever. anyway food for thought I guess

I also think it's easy to assume Phil was just chilling the entire time since he plays his cards a lot closer to his chest than Dan. he doesn't like to talk about stuff like this as openly as dan and i think that results in us focusing a lot more on Dan's experiences (which makes sense since that's the information we have to work with, but still). he's hinted that it was rough for him to deal with the speculation about them and their relationship back in the day as well, and while I'm the last person to encourage people to start self-flagellating for the demon era, I do think it's worth considering that it can't have been easy for Phil either (I mean it was his face and words in the v-day video. I would have probably been institutionalized if that happened to me I'm just saying. the factors that led to dans no homo era can't have been easy for Phil to deal with either)

point is I think there were a lot of factors that kept them both in the closet. I do agree of course that Phil would've come out sooner if it weren't for dan needing to work through his issues before he was ready to come out (Phil has certainly said as much) but I don't think it's the only reason. I think it was certainly a show of the trust and respect he has for dan that he waited for Dan to be ready in the end, but I also think it's inaccurate when people talk as though dan singlehandedly kept Phil in no homo jail for 10 years and he would've been out and proud the entire time if Dan hadn't had a mountain of trauma and internalized homophobia to work through before he was ready to come out (which as dan himself has said, may have been a lot sooner than 2019, but there were other factors that kept him from being able to do that first)

#ask #essay #again. correct me if I'm way off base here I'm just a baby phannie at the end of the day #should i put this in the tag since i think it's interesting and i wanna get more feedback on it. hmm #in general i think Phil was out to his irl network and partially online #but like i said thats different from being 100% honest to the whole world as a public figure #and i think the whole process of them deciding to come out was probably the result of a bunch of discussions #rather than dan forbidding Phil to say anything until he was ready

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chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter · 9 months ago

Text

Shinichiro, stay away from the kids!

(with love)

Okay, first of all, this is not a hating Shinichiro post. I swear it. This is just me having brain riot and thinking in how many times Shin was a questionable example for kids and teens around him and how we seem to forget about it but it's kinda hilarious when you put all of them together (except for Sanzu, that is never funny, my poor lil gremlin 😭)

I know most of this things were because he was also too young, oblivious and reckless. I know that, but it's funny to bully him with affection anyway 🙈

(and in the more serious ones, he was too dissociated and too out of everything, I know that too)

So... Here I go, random Shinichiro moments for all of you!

(big manga spoilers because it's Shinichiro)

Leaving Inupi to look out the shop.

Inupi, who looks like a cute potato here and it's deffinetly too young for it. Canon unpayed intern Inupi, yuhuuu! 💜

Him smoking around bikes all the damn time.

In his shop where Inupi was and could blow out the whole block. But also in his garage, where Draken and Mikey used to watch him fix the bikes. Shin, don't, that's dangerous! (I would say "if you wanna kill yourself do it but don't drag others with you", buuuuuut... Yeah, he did it and everyone got drag on that, so why bother to say it? 😑)

Wharever the fuck this was.

Probably just a prank, but.. Really, Shin? You ran away and left Izana there? I know, I know, you're a dumb teen, but c'mon, think for once! The whole interaction makes me laugh and want to smack Shinichiro in general, to be honest.

Oh...I think the not-so-funny ones are about to start. Here we go!

Leaving the Black Dragons to the traumatized orphan that just went out of juvie.

Yeah, that looks like a great idea, I'm sure nothing wrong will come out of this, lalalalalalala! (Shinichiro and his relationship with delinquency and his siblings should be a lot more explored because holy shit)

(Btw, not even pointing the helmets stuff, nops)

Bringing 8 y/o Mikey to gang meetings.

Like... What the fuck? I'm with Takeomi on this one, are you stupid Shinichiro? What are you thinking? Are you thinking? 😒

Love how BenWaka bully him for it too, that's why I left it here, ngl.

Isn't that just how Haruchiyo is, slashing people for Mikey?

Well, yeah, he is, but he wasn't! He shouldn't! Can't you not pretend this is not concerning for a second? Or... Not settle this mindset on Sanzu because it's gonna have big consequences? 🤦🏻

Talking about his inminent suicide with a 13 y/o.

Okay, I thought A LOT about putting this one, because obviously I'm not judging Shin at all, he was in a really dark place and when you're about to kill yourself you can't think clearly. It's just that this exchange... Breaks me. And Haruchiyo is just a kid, this is so not fair for him either 😭

(Sanos, start treating the Akashis like people with feelings that also matter for once, please)

You can still be his friend even if he scarred you for life!

Okay, Shin, I know you're a mix of biased and dissociated but... Really? Please, stop creating Sanzu, stop iiiiit! Let Haruchiyo alone, don't do this! Also... "Right now"? So you're saying he should forgive Mikey but not right now? Is that, Shincihiro? 😒

Trauma dumping to 13 y/o Haruchiyo. Shhh, keep the secret, bye!

Did I say Shinichiro created Sanzu? Yes? I'll say it again, I don't care. Again, I know he was dissociating and all, but, but... It's fine to kill people for Mikey mindset is now installed successfully on Haruchiyo's brain, yuhuuu! 😭

The amount of total disregard for Haruchiyo's mental health here is too much and should be a crime. The "keep the secret" part don't make it better. Specially, specially, when Shinichiro himself is not going to keep it, he's about to say everything to Wakasa. But Haru? Shhh, you should keep the secret, I'm sure this is not a huge burden for a teenager that suddenly have two set of memories!

(Well, not everything, he probably forgot to tell Waka about Haruchiyo remembering it, because in the final battle it didn't look like Sanzu ever talked about it with Wakasa and I wanna think they would if he knew... Look, another Sano forgetting about Sanzu, yuhu! 😑)

(Shin, with all my love, but I hate you for this one even if you gave me the best blorbo to torture on my fics that I ever had)

I'm sure you'll be able to handle it, random kid that I don't even know the name! 👀

YOU HAVE TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME WITH THIS ONE SHINICHIRO! I wish you remembered in the final timeline because you own Takemitchy the biggest freaking apology of all your life! What the hell? Go, apologize with Michi now!

Yes, he was able to handle it and to be traumatized infinite times in the way, but that's not the point! Use you brain for once Shin, why are you giving the burden to a kid? Why? What is wrong with you? (so many things actually xD)

But, for real, this sentence is Wakui being hilarious because c'mon, poor Takemichi!

Edit: I didn't put the poorly way Shinichiro handled everything about Izana and Mikey because I consider canon doesn't give us enough info on that. Same with Emma. What happened? Why Izana never met them? I have my hc, of course, but we don't know for sure. So... I can't ramble about how badly he managed that! (Badly, for sure, I just don't know exactly how and how much)

#well it started with me making fun of shin and ended with rambling ablout tl0 and not being that funny #what can I say?#shin i still love you but please go to theraphy before talking with more kids #and apologize to michi #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers spoilers #sanzu haruchiyo #sano shinichiro #hanagaki takemichi #original timeline

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carefulfears · 1 year ago

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so i really love whenever you call mulder & scully best friends. wanna talk about your top 5 favorite moments of their friendship?

DO I EVER

1/ little green men

they have a secret code. they have their own language.

when mulder gets to his desk that morning, the photo of samantha is tipped over, and he knows that this means to meet scully at the watergate. which, first of all, is unbelievably dorky. these two work in the same building. these two have cell phones.

but they have been split up and reassigned and it is not a phase you guys it is the end of the world!!!!

when he arrives in the parking garage, he asks what she wants, and she responds, "to know that you're alright."

they have a secret code and their own language and for nothing more than to check in.

(shoutout to the depression hair era, they are so funny for both getting bangs the moment they were separated. that's how you know things are really bad for the girlies.)

when he sinks down to the floor and tells her the george hale story, she crouches down next to him, listens, tells him not to give up.

you can tell that it makes her uneasy to see him defeated, to see him doubting himself and what he believes in. she's almost trying to convince him of aliens in that moment, telling him that he's seen so much and reminding him of samantha. trying to spark something in him.

they have a secret code, they have their own language, and when he leaves town, he buys the plane ticket under a name that only she will recognize. she cracks his computer password in three tries.

earlier, after skinner questions scully, he tells CSM that she's telling the truth, she really doesn't know where mulder is. "because if she knew, she wouldn't be so worried about him."

they aren't as hard to decipher as they want to believe.

PAUSE!!!!! this is the cuntiest thing he's ever done. the sunglasses, the denim, the boots, the dangerous lack of exit strategy...anyway

she interprets his clues, she follows without obligation, they go back together. hand in his hair, not giving up, just like she started the episode.

in the end, they have nothing. the hail mary trip resulted in empty tables and silent tape recordings.

one thing i didn't notice until i rewatched this one the other day is that it's not when he says "i still have you" that she takes his hand.

it's when he switches the tape from the record of his failed excursion to his actual assignment, hours of listening to slimy men talk about strippers.

she listens with him for a moment before shaking her head, and squeezing his hand. she does understand that this isn't what he wants to be doing, and that it's disheartening.

2/ tooms

i could list every season one episode here. i could do a whole other post just about season one. i could do a whole other post just about season one, and include every episode. but i guess i will settle for this one.

this is my favorite season, and this is my favorite MSR.

him waving the pine tree air freshener in her face when she said he smells 😭😭😭

squeeze was all about the choice between climbing the ladder and the "out there" but "good" work of the basement, with all of the ridicule and consequence that come with it.

its sequel episode is about the aftermath of that decision, what it means to choose the side of the victim, to stop reaching for personal success.

(this shot is so beautiful, her face through CSM's smoke)

tooms opens with scully in a negative performance review, skinner (in his very first scene!! we love you skinman) going over her reports, CSM lurking in the corner.

the two share a look, then warn scully against having too much of an open mind, telling her that it is her "responsibility to see that these cases are by the book"

"by the book" becomes the theme of the episode, with the phrase repeating multiple times throughout.

this isn't the first time that the show has explored this topic, with young at heart also centering a debate of “by the book” protocol, what it really means, and who it really serves. ending with this final dialogue:

SCULLY: Mulder, I know what you did wasn't by the book.

MULDER: Tells you a lot about the book, doesn't it?

“by the book” isn’t an easy order to follow when you have a partner who doesn’t believe in it, and you aren’t sure you do either.

it’s not an easy order to follow, for the navy captain’s daughter who worships authority.

she does try though, and she's initially frustrated with mulder's behavior in the case. she tells him that he "sounded so....." at the trial, and she's reluctant to pursue his methods without approval from the bureau.

ultimately, when she comes to bring mulder something to eat on his unauthorized stakeout, she tells him that what he's doing is not proper surveillance protocol, and he good-naturedly accuses her of peddling "the book."

she responds, "this is not about doing it by the book, this is about you not having slept for three days." and tells him that he is inevitably going to get hurt.

to her, it's not about following the rules or pressure from the bureau or respecting authority, it's about making sure he's okay.

when she tells him to go home, that she'll take over the stakeout, he smiles and shakes his head (it's almost the same look that he gives her years later in redux ii, when she tells him to lay it all on her. just less tears.)

and i know that we tend to focus on the next part of this scene, but this line stands out to me too, as he declines because he doesn't want her to get "in trouble."

he doesn't want her to break the rules or disobey authority, and he still believes she'll be head of the bureau someday.

it kinda makes me teary, this stupefied look on his face at her response. when she looks at him unflinching and says, "mulder, i wouldn't put myself on the line for anybody but you."

they are so kind to each other. they really don't care about official reprimands in files or welfare protocols; they each just want the other to get some rest, to have a bright future.

he relents, allows her to take over, on the condition that she calls "if anything happens. immediately. i'll be here." and suggests she catch the sports talk radio show

she bends down to give him one last smile and eye roll as she exits the car

and makes a joke to herself while walking back to her own. best best best friends.

3/ tempus fugit

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR SPECIALAGENTDANAKATHERINESCULLYYYYY

what better way to celebrate life than annoying the hell out of your best friend on her birthday?

the way he clearly gave the waiters her name and this snowball and sparkler and sang "special agent dana katherine scully" while they all sang "happy birthday dana" is one of his most embarrassingly extra moments and it never fails to make me laugh

she rolls her eyes at him, but the way she stares when he's not looking says so much. they both know why this year gets sparklers and song when last year didn't. they both know there might not be a next year.

he's literally never been more irritatingly overjoyed lmao. and he brought presents! ("oh, you've got to be kidding me" "just something that reminded me of you")

he said "i didn't know it was your birthday, scully!" with a wrapped gift in his pocket, always prepared with a smile and a cover story

he does this same thing in memento mori, after getting the call to come to the hospital, when his first words of the episode are "i stole these from some guy with a broken leg down the hall. he won't be able to catch me." about the flowers we watched him come through the front doors holding

he clearly puts thought into these gestures, but everything is so fragile. neither of them are comfortable with what too much sincerity would mean, how limited it all is.

but they find little ways to give to each other anyway, they hang out in bars and roll their eyes and discuss the meaning behind a keychain.

if this is the last birthday, maybe it's worth a little vulnerability (and annoying song and dance), that he did it up right.

4/ one breath

another Mulder Gift™️ entry. god, the sweetness here is just overwhelming. he is so strange and tries so hard.

this whole scene is one of my favorites of the series, but i love this little moment so much.

it's so inadequate, in the end. to see someone that you thought you'd lost, your most important person, who was gone for so long, and have nothing more to give them than a shitty VHS sports tape.

but what else can you do? he's so quiet and self-conscious in this moment. he raced to the top of mountains and stood on broken cable cars and choked a man and wore her necklace around his neck for months and wept on the floor. he had the strength of her beliefs, and he prayed. he held her hand by her bedside after they pulled the plug.

so much goes unsaid between them, because how can you say it in words? how can you do anything but smile and buy something stupid at the gift shop?

she makes a joke while he smiles at the floor, but it's not a joke, not really. he's there and he's giving her whatever he can and he's cracking jokes, and she knew there was a reason to live. that's it right there.

5/ detour

GO, GIRL!

this is a best friends episode. this is a "we survived that hospital and we refuse to spend our one wild and precious life at the annual FBI teamwork seminar, if you need us, we'll be lost in the forest" episode.

look at her trying not to laugh while he's making sarcastic comments at her in the backseat. can you imagine carpooling with these two? they are forever passing notes and whispering behind backs.

she is not making it to the teamwork seminar. she is not getting her wine and cheese, either. she is looking for mothmen in western florida.

they think they're so much better than that communication exercise, just to make vague innuendo in a motel room.

they tell each other all about native species and how ticks can halt their metabolism and the livestock that was killed in a town 30 years ago. she teases him about his filing system.

neither of them tire of bashing the hell out of that teamwork seminar.

they talk about death. about searching for meaning in life. about which flintstones character they relate to the most. they swap dirty jokes.

she fusses over his grave injury (a dislocated shoulder) and holds him. sings to him so that he'll know she's still there.

a few years down the road, she'll sing that same song to their baby, on one of her last days with him. she'll sing to him about this night, about his dad, about her favorite memories.

sitting there together in that forest in florida, they have already started to carry the weight of near-misses. of lost time, of almosts, of purposeful disease.

they have come a long way and taken on a lot, in the years since the parked car outside tooms' house and the garage at the watergate.

but they have yet to be separated longer than 90 days. they have yet to lose a child. they have yet to plan funerals and prison breaks.

there's something about that time, that ability to just sit in the woods and talk about everything, looking for mothmen, that is so precious and so special.

and when she tells him that night that she had struggled to find meaning, that's where it is.

#thank you for this #dream assignment #they ARE best friends #and it's my favorite #msr #asks #little green men #tooms #tempus fugit #one breath #detour #kae meta

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mooooonnnzz · 2 years ago

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Hi moonie darling 🫶 hope you’ve been doing well!

Can I request a lo’ak relationship headcanons ? The ones you did for neteyam are so cute and dreamy 🥹 I was wondering how you’d interpret a relationship with that troublemaker 😚 thank you in advance and good luck with the blog 💙

The Perfect Pair // Lo’ak x GN! Reader

❀ You and Lo’ak’s relationship headcanons <3

♡ Content: WARNING mentions of scars and picking at them, just a lil heads up!! angst but barely enough to ruin your day FLUFF lo’ak and reader are very cute shy lo’ak bc i love him being shy BUT HES SHY JUST FOR A LIL BIT

♡ WordCount: 1k

♡ Quicknote: sorry for taking absolutely forever to post this 😭 i have gotten bad writers block and i’ve been in some weird mood slump lately BUT I FINISHED IT SO HERE YOU ARE <33 hope you like it 🫶 and thank you for the luck, you’re very kind ❤️

expect to patch up this poor boy 24/7

there isn’t a day where he doesn’t come to you, honoring a new scratch on his body from his reckless behavior

and it’s not like he does it on purpose

he doesn’t mean to always get hurt, he just doesn’t think about the consequences until he’s actually facing them

“Lo’ak!” You rushed towards the boy who was staggering over to you, his hand clutching his injured arm. “What happened?!” Your eyes examined his body, your heart stopping at the large red gash on his side. Lo’ak uncovered his arm with a shaky hand, hissing at the blood that stained his palm. “I tried to do tricks with my Ikran and you know where that got me.” He said defeatedly, his head hanging low. “Let’s deal with those injuries, okay?” You grabbed onto his arm that wasn’t hurt and brought him inside the tent. He sat down on the floor, groaning in pain when he moved a certain way that strained his body. Scouring the tent, you picked up some healing ointments, healing paste, a cloth and medical gauzes that were gifted to you from the scientists. You sat next to Lo’ak, facing his side. “Can you lean to the left for me?” You ask, popping open the ointment. Lo’ak leans to the side, a few grunts and groans leaving his lips. “This’ll sting.” You warn, pouring a good amount of ointment on the cloth. “I know, you tell me that all the—SHIT!” He curses, sucking in a deep breath through clenched teeth. “Lo’ak!” You smacked his upper thigh with your free hand, using the other one to lightly tap on his wounds with the cloth. Lo’ak pressed his lips together and screwed his eyes shut. “I wonder what goes through your head when you do this.” You say, wrapping the gauze around his waist. “Nothing.” Lo’ak replies, laughing at his own joke. “What a shocker.” You plainly said, moving to the next cut.

i’d like to say he has a lot of scars on his body

and he doesn’t really mind them, until his mom started pointing them out

theres frown on her lips as she talks about how reckless lo’ak is

she even shows them to jake, who just either stares with disapproval in his eyes or says something along the lines of “well, what can you expect? the boy doesn’t even use his brain.” or “how can you expect him to care for his own well being when he can’t even think right.”

from then on, he started hating the scars on his body

he hated the unwanted attention he’d get from his mom, especially when she brings over his dad

you comfort lo’ak whenever he falls into his hole of self hatred

Lo’ak sat by the pond, fingernails scratching one of his scars. A habit he developed when he no longer thought the scars that littered his skin were cool. A ripple broke through the still surface of the pond. He didn’t have to look around to know that it was you. Sitting right beside him, you pressed a kiss to his temple. “What’s up?” You ask, your tail wrapping around him to provide a little bit of comfort. Lo’ak dug his nail into his scar, his eyes glaring at the white ragged skin that stretched to his mid forearm to his elbow. “My scars.” He grumbled. “I hate them.” He started picking at it. “Stop, you are going to make it worse.” You grabbed his hand, halting his movements. “You liked your scars, what happened?” You watched with worried eyes as Lo’ak sighed. “My mom always points them out and the look that she gives me makes me feel like shit.” His ears tucked behind his head. “And sometimes, she brings my dad over to look at them. As if my moms looks weren’t enough, my dad doesn’t hold back to insult me.” His bottom lip begins to tremble and your heart cracks. “I just do not know why they look at me like—like they’re ashamed of me!” He sniffs, roughly wiping the tears that were threatening to escape his eyes with his arm. “I hate crying.” He muttered grimly, tucking himself into a ball. “It is good to cry,” You begin softly, hand coming to caress Lo’ak’s back. “And you are not a disappointment.” You say with such certainty that Lo’ak almost believes it himself. “How are you so sure?” He looks at you, awaiting your answer. You started listing off all the wonderful qualities Lo’ak has, like how he’s so strong and doesn’t take no for an answer, how he doesn’t back down and never gives up, how he’s so annoyingly persistent with things and is curious about everything. As you said more and more things about Lo’ak, the more you saw him visibly perk up. It was like you rebuilding the broken pieces, slowly but surely with care, you made Lo’ak whole again. Lo’ak sniffed, rubbing his eye with his fist. “Thank you.” He mumbled, snuggling closer to you.

LO’AK IS VERY SHY WHEN IT COMES TO PDA

like he’s blushing a whole ton when you hold his hand around his family

and just kissing his cheek?? he’s on the floor hyperventilating

you love messing with him because his reactions are priceless

“Lo’ak.” You call out. He turns his head over to you, raising a brow. You lean towards him and kiss him on the cheek. “I love you.” You said against his skin, smooching him one last time before leaning back. Eyes intently watching him to see his reaction. As always, his ears rear back to his head and there’s a bright blush tinting his cheeks. “Oh.” He squeaks, his eyes are casted downwards and he can’t even look at you without stuttering. “Why are you so nervous?” You teasingly asked, tail whipping behind you playfully. “Because you! I—You…Ugh.” He runs a hand down his face, dramatically sighing. “What’s wrong, Lo’ak?” You wrap your arms around his back, pulling him closer to you. “Y/N!” He whines.

THOUGH WHEN HES SURE NOBODY IS WATCHING

hes hugging you close to him and latching onto you like a koala

LIKE IS THIS THE SAME GUY WHO WAS NERVOUS TO LITERALLY HOLD YOUR HAND??

“Can you let go of my arm?” You politely asked, looking down at Lo’ak, who had your arm clutched in his hold. His head comfortablely resting on your shoulder. “Nope!” He says with a devious grin. “Lo’ak, I have to go.” Trying to remove him from your arm is a lost cause, might as well chop it off so Lo’ak could have it for himself. Giving up, you lean on Lo’ak. He makes a happy noise and clings himself closer to you.

and hes begging for your kisses, or he’s kissing you

Lo’ak is covering your face in a mess of kisses. “Lo’ak!” You giggled out, hands finding purchase on his shoulders. You pushed him away from your face, still feeling his kissing ghosting your face. “Too much.” You huff out loudly. Lo’ak rolls his eyes and puckers out his lips. You’re preparing yourself for another round.

later on into the relationship he gets better with pda

he isnt afraid to show that he loves u 🫶🫶

“Is Lo’ak actually holding their hand?” Kiri’s eyes are wide from her shock. She hides her grin with her palm. “No way.” Neteyam is equally as shocked. They watch Lo’ak pull you in for a sweet kiss in horror. “What is that thing Dad said earlier?” Neteyam asked, voice raspy as if someone sucked his voice out. “He finally became a man.” Kiri whispered out. Cringing as she watched you and Lo’ak cuddle with each other.

If you want to be added to my taglist dm or comment me! + request are open <3

Taglist: @writingsbybirdie @tzurue @lokisblueskin @niawritesbs @yoluvrz @kenzs-world @neteyamsmate4life @froglogblog @wondxrgurl

#avatar x reader #avatar 2022 #avatar imagine #avatar way of water #lo’ak x y/n #lo’ak fic #lo’ak headcannons #lo’ak x reader #lo’ak x you #lo'ak #lo’ak sully #lo’ak imagine

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karliahs · 14 days ago

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fic writer interview!!

tysm @plusultraetc for the tag!! <3

How many works do you have on AO3?

50 exactly!

What's your total AO3 word count?

234,906, almost half of which (110k) was written/posted this year. insane!!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

darken your door (12,832)

walk a mile (5642)

swan dive (4857)

rescue (3905)

something else to pretend (3,572)

there's a theme here and it's bnha fics i wrote in 2019/2020

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes!! with several asterisks i'll get into in a minute. i try to respond to every comment i get because:

i genuinely really appreciate that anyone takes the time to tell me they liked a fic when they could just consume it and say nothing with 0 consequences, so i want to say thank you

some comments have a rly big impact on me - change the way i feel about stuff, contain phrases i remember for a really long time, make me cry, etc - and just like how if someone writes a fic that impacts me then i want to tell them, i want to tell people how much their comment mattered

i often only figure out why i did something or made certain choices in a fic until someone prompts me to talk about it. it's such a useful exercise for understanding my own work better

i genuinely adore rambling about my fics, it's arguably more fun than writing them in the first place

it's really nice getting to chat to commenters and get to know people!

however. there is a 3-4 year period where i didn't reply to any comments at all because i got overwhelmed and then felt like it was too late to try and catch up. this still haunts me a little bit because i got some really lovely impactful comments in that era but it just feels too weird to reply literally like 5 years late 😭

2nd asterisk is some fics i feel kind of embarrassed about and so don't reply to comments on, 3rd is that i'm bad at managing my comments inbox so i'm sure i miss people out by accident sometimes, and 4th is that if i don't have anything nice to say then i won't respond...i get almost no comments i think are intentionally meant to be rude, but sometimes i get ones that rankle for one reason or another and i won't reply if i'm just gonna be tetchy bc again, i don't think they're meant badly

so very much a yes in theory but not in practice 😂

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

bargaining chips i think. the funny thing about that series is that in some ways i think things would ultimately turn out better than in canon (there's a reason the 2nd fic has akechi promise to contact ren if he does survive, a thing that would have paid off in the 3rd fic i never finished). but as of bargaining chips it's very much...this is the POV of a person who thinks the only power they have left in the world is to hurt people

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

my usual ending is like bittersweet and/or hopeful, so for example i feel a lot of things about the cathertic (for me at least) endings for redux and something else to pretend and unwanted, but idk if they can exactly be called happy.

going to my pure silly fluff fics instead where we pretty much start happy and end happy: to work, to rest which ends with the gang being happy about stickers, or class pets which ends with class a getting three (3) cats

Do you write crossovers?

nope!

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not really! probably the closest was someone commenting on pathologised with just "WHERE IS YUSUKE?" in all caps 🙄 "why isn't my fave dude in your fic" is not a genre of comment i enjoy, though it's usually phrased more politely than that at least

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

nope!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i'm aware of, though it's apparently fairly rampant in bnha fandom with those "what if deku [x]" youtube videos. i think those are reserved for fics with actual plots though

Have you ever had a fic translated?

i think i've been asked for permission for people to do so before, but i don't think i've ever actually seen anything posted...someone did translate a little section of one fic into spanish in a bookmarker comment once, which was very fun because i remember little bits of spanish from school & years of sporadic duolingo

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no but i think it would be so fun 👀

What's your all-time favorite ship?

mannnn i just cannot care about romantic ships the way that seems to be so ubiquitous in fandom. even when i try and write romance it ends up as like ambigious tenderness or Friendship With Vibes. the few times i've even written kissing it's been just a build up to a kiss after which the fic immediately fades to black, which is really funny in retrospect like...buddy, is that because you stop caring about what's happening once the kissing starts?

i am fond of erasermic, jontim and shindeku, though i enjoy them as platonic dynamics pretty much the same amount

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

it mostly doesn't bother me to have tons of unfinished WIPs, i don't really put that expectation that everything i start will or should get finished/posted.

so the only one that genuinely bugs me is the third fic in seen and not heard, because i feel like i kind of promised it to people and then didn't deliver, and because it would have properly concluded a series i know a few people really connected with...and because the draft got to like 80% done but i could just never finish it off in a way i was happy with. maybe someday though

there's also a more recent bnha fic draft that i am really fond of in some ways, but i just could not take the discourse i think it would inspire. i might finish it just for me someday

What are your writing strengths?

cribbing all these from comments honestly but i think i'm pretty good at real-feeling emotional responses to situations. emotional realism, maybe? and writing introspection/people thinking and feeling things in general.

my characterisation gets complimented a fair bit, which is funny bc i think i actually take a lot of liberties with canon characters, but i guess i'm decent at couching those liberties in a way that makes it pass muster most of the time. like passing off a counterfeit watch as genuine

i'm somewhat good with grounding things in sensory detail, but that's one of those things i think i'll always be trying to get better at

What are your writing weaknesses?

i've never met a plot in my life and i don't want to. i also can't write longfic. in real-world terms i'm a short story writer and not a novelist - all those structural narrative things people do to make a long-form story work are just mystifying to me. part of that is just driven by what interests me though - i don't read a lot of plotty longfic either

i'm also still working on improving syntax and flow in my prose in general, but that's another one of those endless projects i think

oh also having more than two people in a prolonged dialogue scene is wildly difficult to me

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i have no thoughts on this matter!

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

merlin! i wrote probably bad merlin fic on ff.net back when i was like 15/16. it's actually the reason i joined tumblr in the first place, bc my fave merlin fic writer had a tumblr and i got curious

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

i'd like to write more about my silly little video game OCs. i've dabbled in it a bit before but i've never really invested in it because i know no one would read it/care. but i'm getting better at writing for myself and it is really fun to have records of these OCs that i love, so i hope i can write some stuff about the protag i make for new dragon age that i'll inevitably get deeply attached to

it's also kind of wild to me that i've never written for homestuck or dangan ronpa given the impact those two things had on my psyche

What's your favorite fic you've written?

my answer to this changes depending on the day but right now...something else to pretend my beloved

wow that got long. not tagging anyone but if you'd like to do it, consider yourself tagged!

#talking #love to start the day by rambling #feels good feels organic

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yakuzabrainrotlive · 6 days ago

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I have started Like A Dragon! I've actually already made it to chapter 5.

Why hadn't I made a post already, then?

Well, there's no sugar-coated way to put this so... let's just rip off the bandaid now.

I haven't really enjoyed myself playing this game this far. Yet. Maybe I will at some point. But for now I honestly just haven't had much to say in terms of what's happened in the plot besides the beginning. I don't hate the game, it's just that it hasn't been able to really hook me in yet.

I'll keep going since I've heard this game is one of the generally more loved ones in the franchise. And I know RGG loves its slow burn.

I hate to be a Negative Nancy, but I wanna be totally honest. I doubt y'all would want me to lie about how I feel about the game.

More about all that right at the end of the post. I will list my positives and negatives when it comes to this game (and talk about the battle system) down there.

I know this type of thing is common in RPGs, but I like it all the same. Neat little game mechanic. There's quite a few different ones here, but it's cool.

An interesting background for a main character. Yeah, being an orphan is more than common. But being raised by the employess in a soapland and the townsfolk around him? That's really out there - in a good way.

This was very sad. Ichi lost 15 years of his life to the joint and got nothing in return. The shock and disappointment on his face when he was released and there was just. No one waiting for him.

And after that, all that awaited him was just... betrayal. That's just brutal. I fully understand why Ichiban went into Total Denial Mode for a while; it must have been a totally incomprehensible and shocking situation.

-He got out of prison after 15 years and where he expected to find his family waiting for him, he found nobody. AND he suddenly had the freedom of choosing what to do, when to do it and where to go after 15 years. That can be scary.

-He witnessed how much the world and general society had changed in his absence and probably felt very confused.

-He saw his home totally wrecked and abandoned.

And now his mentor and beloved patriarch, the one who saved his life. The man he would have happily been ready to die for at any moment. That man had changed completely and acted like he didn't know Ichiban.

Yeah... the denial, frustration and desperation are totally valid.

Oh dear. Well, Kiryu wasn't there anymore, the Tojo upper brass kept changing and there was constant conflict within the clan itself. It was just a matter of time before Omi would take advantage of the situation.

I hope Majima and Daigo are okay. Or at least alive ;-;

*Faint sounds of Majima cackling in the distance*

Oops. Majima better hope Ichi doesn't find out who the driver was lmao. I feel bad for Ichiban, but I also love how this single random idea of Majima's still has these consequences that are brought up, even after all this time.

God bless Nanba. He's a sweetheart. That's all I can say about him. I also kinda like Adachi. I'm not attached to these side characters yet, but they're neat. I think they'll grow on me eventually, it's just that I tend to be slow when it comes to becoming attached to new characters.

Legends say that if you pull this bat out, Shinada will appear in front of you and ask for some money....

I did play through the whole soapland thing and then some. I don't have much to say 😭. We do have a woman fighting with us, finally after all this time! #Girlboss

I would honestly happily die for Nancy. No questions asked.

OKAY UHH POSITIVES AND NEGATIVES.

Positives:

-Ichiban

-Interesting premise

-The different jobs satisfy my hyper-optimizing, excel-sheet-making, micromanaging self

-Funny enemy titles like "Piss Wizard"

-Free full heal spots my beloveds❤️

-Voice acting (in the Japanese dub at least) is excellent

-Substories have been fun!

Negatives:

-EXP yield is... not optimal; grinding takes FOREVER unless you go fight higher-level people than yourself, but then the battles can take ages. Job exp grinding especially feels about as pleasant as pulling teeth.

Am I supposed to grind in this game?? I've started to wonder about that since it's such a slow process. I have absolutely no idea. Have I missed a thing that helps exp gain??

-Unless you get lucky with the ability to find treasure, money yield can be tight at times, too. Which is rough, considering the cost of gear with 4 team members (and probably backup members later).

-The premise is cool, but the stuff I've played through in terms of the plot after leaving Kamurocho hasn't been very interesting to me this far (early-to-mid chapter 5) :/

-Substories don't give you EXP 😭

How about the elephant in the room - the battle system?

Well. I'll come out with it straight away; I'm very, VERY picky when it comes to turn-based combat. Shin Megami Tensei and Persona have unfortunately spoiled me too much, so this game had some unfairly MASSIVE boots to fill. And it didn't quite fill them. My bar is way too high and I acknowledge that 100%.

I get that they didn't want to make the system completely "passive" by just having to select moves and it all going smoothly from here. But I dislike the timing-based quick time stuff in the middle of attacks and perfect guard. I can pull off the attack dmg boost thing most of the time, but perfect guard is just... it feels way more difficult to pull off than Tiger Drop in any previous game. It's very frustrating. I frankly feel stupid, having this difficult a time with it.

Grinding is further hindered by spread moves being kind of unreliable - if the enemies are spread out, you're only hitting a single foe. For now. Maybe there will be better moves later on.

Idk if it's just me, but characters' MP pools feel very limited compared to the cost of the moves combined with how little damage you do at times? Maybe it's just the fact that I'm in the earlier parts of the game, but I feel like I have to be replenishing MP constantly.

I like how all the different types of gear can have additional special effects. It's neat.

All in all the battle system feels... very laborius. I can work with it! Absolutely. I'm just not the biggest fan.

God, I wish I could just gush about this game and sing its praises, but that's not happening yet by a long shot. This far? Maybe a 6-6.5/10. I hope my opinion changes for the better as I progress; I really wanna love it as much as other fans seem to.

#IM SORRY I REALLY WANTED TO IMMEDIATELY FALL IN LOVE WITH THE GAME #yakuza thoughts #...should i switch that to 'like a dragon thoughts'??? hmm #nahh lol #yakuza spoilers #like a dragon spoilers

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vees-genshin-blog · 16 days ago

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Day 15 and 16!!

Warning: 5.1 spoilers here as I reach the end of the story update!!

So yay!! Midterms are done (for now 😭), so I was finally able to continue the Archon quest!!

In day 15, other than dailies, I did a few runs of the VV domain but got nothing better for Kazuha 😔. I'd add a bit more, but day 16 is going to be way longer so I figured it's best to keep it short.

Day 16: After essentially 2 days of not playing any hoyo game, I Iog in so I can finish the quest!!

Like my previous post, bold is actual reaction and parentheses is after thoughts. We are continuing after Capitano and Mavuika's talk.

Ok I'm guessing now that Mavuika is the last hero because there are no other prominent characters, plus all the tribes are accounted for, I think. I'm really curious who it is though. (I realize that i am dumb later and clearly misremembered Mavuika's explanation in 5.0)

ORORON IS SO CUTE WITH HIS SINCERE APOLOGIZING 😭😭😭😭

No Ororon!! Just accept the compliment!!

Xilonen and Citlali are finally gonna make the name!! Xilonen's gonna die?? I mean, there's probably gonna be a workaround or something cause there's no way hoyo is going to kill her off but STILL. (It seems like there are a lot of slots empty in the tool, so do we need to fill it up before the name can be made? Actually, i'll check it later to see if it changed after the war. Assuming it needs to fill up, how are we going to do that before Mavuika has to go?)

MAVUIKA is gonna die too now??? I'm really curious how hoyo is going to pull this off now. Lord of the Night is basically garantuing this death.

OH no. I have to make a decision (cue PTSD from TOT where i accidentally chose the decision that killed off an entire tribe in Dragonsbreath because i was tapping too fast😭😭). I can tell there are probably consequences to choosing one place to help over another 😭😭😭 (Yup, seeing how one place was no longer salvageable hurt and triggered PTSD)

KINICH!!!

You gotta respect and admire how much everyone cares about Mavuika.

CUTSCENE! MAVUIKA?!?!?! What're u planning?!?!? Also Capitano coming to the save 🥹🥹🥹

My gosh everyone is dead here 😔😔😔. Its definitely a real war now.

Was I supposed to jump off there?!?! 😭😭😭 Lumine speaks!!! (No seriously, the map seemed to circle that area as a place I could go to, but the balloon didn't stop so i was very confused and sad that I might've been able to save someone there)

CHASCA!?!? She's crying, and I'm crying and we're all crying 😭😭😭 CHUYCU DIED!!!!!😭😭😭😭😭 (Hoyo killing these characters in front of us 😭😭)

What!! I thought she was already a hero!?!?!? I guess I really misremembered who they mentioned was a hero 😭😭😭

THEY'RE ALL HERE!!! Mavuika looks so cool 🥹🥹🥹 But is it really just gonna be us plus the heroes fighting?? (Nope, everyone's fighting and I misunderstood again 😔)

The extra convos are so cute!!

WE WON!! But also, what the heck was behind the false sky!?!?!? (I really don't know enough of the hidden lore to know what that could be)

Feast time!! Capitano joined us!!! Also hmmm, Mavuika (and maybe us) alone to fight the abyss? Are we sure about this????

OOOOH!! Mavuika flashback!! RONOVA says the iconic line from the trailer!! The one that gave a sneak peek to all the acts for each region!

CAPITANO?!?!?!

So yeah, this update was amazing and I really liked how they made your decision on where to go have an actual effect on the results because it made the war so much more devastating 😭😭😭. Knowing that the other place would get run over by the Abyss depending on where you go....

Anyway, that's it for today!! Hope everyone has a nice day!!

#daily geshin #genshin impact #5.1 genshin #5.1 spoilers #tears of themis PTSD #Gosh this was such an amazing update #or maybe i'm just too easy to please #mavuika #genshin capitano #kinich #xilonen #kachina #mualani #chasca #ororon #citlali

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faaun · 1 month ago

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I'm not sure if you were after advice re adhd and Vyvanse, only read through your recent posts enough to see you are having thoughts about it but I'm not sure your dose and 'type' of adhd (inattentive/impulsive/hyperactive/combined etc) but see you're just over a week using it. I'm on day 21 of Vyvanse and wanted to share my experience if it's in any way helpful because I've been diligently documenting each day. Day one I took 30mg and found the dose was awful -- like I was at a club long after the music had stopped you know, hands clenched, music hurt, awful. I have since been taking half that dose and before a week didn't feel like I was "on" anything, but my mind was quiet and I could focus on my tasks / my moods were regulated - more linear / over the continued use I can tell it's waning earlier, but I do have 5mg Dexy's to supplement when that happens and it's still a process to find the dose balance (I suspect it will change throughout time anyway), I was prescribed those along with the Vyvanse but it's none of my business why you don't have those atm ofc. I've learned about so many things in relation to my mind since getting this diagnosis, I really had no idea I could attribute certain things to it and consequently feel so much less shame than I've had my entire life. You probably know there are other medications and maybe this one wont be for you (and maybe you'll find other strategies too) but I can say I'm glad I took the approach of allowing the process, documenting what I feel in my body each day AND MAKING SURE TO EAT A MEAL WITH THE VYVANSE IMMEDIATELY BEFORE TAKING IT (which no doctor advised me, I had to find out from reddit fml) I also eat really small portions of fruit / tuna during the day, and have heard others say that doing that helps the 'comedown' sensation too. I think I only felt compelled to send you this because I really relate to the 'can i choose not to have adhd' post, but maybe it will help to consider this an experience worth tracking in detail, really giving it a go and not considering each avenue an all or nothing sort of pursuit, like there are options and you should trust your body and discuss with your doctor. Bravo for figuring this out about yourself at 21, I'm 30 and my psych said a lot of people come to her in their 40's! I don't know if any of this helps at all, but I will say, the silence in my mind is a little weird and spooky while also relieving and interesting -- I heard someone basically say that the meds help you focus, but don't help you choose what to focus on, if that makes sense. I think that's where a sort of self-determination / planning comes in and seems significantly easier with the clarity of mind. This is all probably crap, but good luck wah!

hi hi ! this is def helpful thank you! right now i've been taking meals (well...nutritionally complete meal replacement shakes, with vitamins, because food does not register as food to me on vyvanse) just anytime after taking a dosage, so maybe actually having a meal beforehand would help!

also got magnesium + vit b, oredered omega fish oil so maybe that should help too ? i've known i've had adhd since i was maybe 15, it's just been really hard to get medicated and now that i have the medication the fear is that it's worse than being unmedicated (ritalin didnt work) 😭 but currently on a trial phase, as you said i'm documenting everything and just switching out lots of variables. i've learned going to the gym helps me too :)

my problem is that around 3-4 hours a day are essentially hellish. i started off on 50mg bc i usually have a high tolerance to...mostly everything, and quickly learned that it was too high - from 9-2pm amazin, 2-4 meh, 4-7pm horrible no good hell time, 7 onwards very relaxed and gentle. it's the midway stage that really sucks for me. i reduced my dosage to 30g and everything was more mild, but it still was impeding my ability to think between 3-7:30pm ish, which really sucks because that's when most of my seminars are...

my biggest problem for 3-7:30 except inability to process things is emotional bluntness and a complete lack of whimsy. my perceptions seem so indirect. like mild dissociation?

today i'm at 35, i'm seeing how it goes :) tomorrow i'll try the thing w eating before the dose, and also i'll try to implement more fish-related stuff into my diet bc i've also seen ppl say it helps them!

tysm for the ask btw i rly appreciate anyone's advice and just their experiences or feedback or thoughts !!

#i think my body is getting used to it slowly #so im going to give it 2 weeks at least before deciding its not for me #thank u for the tip!#ive been documenting but i should be more diligent w it #...also havent had a meal today so im gonna do that now #asks #lauvra #also tysm i appreciate all the advice/feedback !!

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brideofdiscord-rewritten · 1 year ago

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THIS IS A SIDE BLOG STEMMING FROM @atbussysparks! That is also me!! I will be attempting to re-write bride of discord

Respect for the original property goes to DisneyFanatic2362, writer of bride of discord. This fanfiction was not meant to be "better" but to be a love letter to the original author.

If you or your friend is into MLPFiM, please tag them in my posts!! I want new fans to be able to experience a modern take on a classic fanfic (⁠^⁠^⁠)

Others may write chapters, and I will reblog that! I will write them, but if someone has a better written chapter I'll reblog that instead

THERE WILL BE NO NSFW. While many people have been touched by this series, far too many have touched themselves to it.

I will omit some ridiculous examples of discord being emotionally or mentally abusive past the point in which he has fully developed as a good character. Instead he will face consequences for his abuse.

This is not a safe space for pro/comships. No questions asked

Spike will still have a crush on rarity, but spike being a romantic interest for adult ponies, or having his feelings reciprocated in any way will be removed from the story.

Music and silly corny early 2010s Disney channel humor will stay, unfortunately. BUT! WE WILL MAKE MORE FUNNY JOKES I SWEAR

No cursing within the story, and if they curse it will be subtle. Horse related. Replaced with @$#&*!?¥£€.

Hell, damn, frick, frack, crap, darn, dang, shoot, balls, loser, shut up, fools, doofus, dingus, and ugly are allowed.

The word "ass" will only be used 3 times. Make it count.

Topics such as death should be handled with care and emotions. It is okay to say stuff related to dying.

Characters can be LGBTQ, but explicit sexual references to ponys' relationships, homosexual or heterosexual, are not tolerated. these horses could be sequential hermaphrodites OR self fertilize through an asexual manner called parthenogenesis, and give birth by teleporting the baby horse from their stomach to the ground via magic nurses. But that's not for us to know.

SOMETIMES dirty jokes are allowed. Like, really subtle ones. BUT NO HORSES DO THE NAUGHTY IN THE PLOT. NEVER MENTION IT.

Please write zecora doing actual Hoo Doo. And respect it, as it is cultural magic. Where used to live people did not respect hoodoo and voodoo as actual lifestyles, and viewed them as Halloween gimmicks. In the same place, many black people practiced voodoo.

I'm sorry I will reference fat Albert. I used to watch reruns of it. Fluttershy will explicitly say "HEY HEY HEY" like in the damn YouTube vid. I'm sorry I loved fat Albert.

Rarity will have a daughter from a previous relationship, and the fully will not have that weird diet culture obsession.

Also justice for rarity what the heck did she do to deserve such a horrible life 😭😭😭

If Applejack's speech is funny y'all don't get to say nothing because I'm southern and i am clearly supreme in this area of expertise. She's probably Georgian but that's not my accent so suck it.

Bigots of any kind are not tolerated. Read my main account, (atbussysparks) about section.

And remember! This project was born of love for the original, appreciation of everyone involved with the creation of the audio drama, and the opportunity to make fat Albert references.

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lostfracturess · 8 months ago

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i personally don't understand the problem with blatant realism, it's just... you've never stated that this work is 100% accurate in all the things and follows ALL the rules 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 besides satoru and reader face the consequences of this surgery and their relationships right now??? it's not just they're easily getting away with this, and there were also talks about that previously...just what this fuss is about...

also i want to say that i don't imagine myself when it comes to y/n as well 😭 i picture her as an other character 😭 but for me this is the same to all the works with a y/n

anddd i wanted to ask you what are your favourite quotes from the work?? idk why but i was literally eating when remembered y/n telling satoru to do everything he wants with her and he's like "then i take care of you" out of blue 😭😭

thank you!! you get it, this is a chaotic love story before anything else, not a medical or legal textbook lol.

and you're completely right, they're now in the stage where they're facing the consequences of their choices, showing how messy and complicated things can get when you break the rules, and what they might have to sacrifice in the process.

i also think the whole y/n dynamic is really interesting. for me, it's similar to you in that i never fully imagine myself as the reader persona in y/n stories.

i saw a post a while ago that discussed how a y/n persona with a background for them is just an OC without a name. and i kinda get that, but from a author's perspective it's really a balancing act.

like, how would a story progress without a background, or how would a character (in my case, gojo) fall for a reader in the story if they had no personality?

like we need to provide enough character and background for a compelling story, but also leave room for readers to imprint some of themselves onto the y/n persona. because a completely blank character would lack the drive to make things interesting, you know what i mean?

but i always try to make at least the appearance of the reader's persona blank, like not describing what they look like. it's really a balancing act, and i hope i leave enough room for you readers to form their own character in the story, however you do it.

maybe in y/n fics it's more about creating a character the reader can empathize with or feel a connection towards, even if they aren't a carbon copy of themselves. everyone brings their own perspective to the story, and that's what makes it so interesting. or what do you think?

omg, favorite quotes ahhhh. there are so many lol, kinda cheesy to like my own quotes?? idk anyway some of my favorite's are:

when the first surgery failed and satoru wants to convince her to try his approach with him and she hesitates and he says:

"I need you on this." "I don't think you do." "Believe me, I do." "I'm afraid—afraid of making another mistake." "You're with me. You won't. I'll make sure of that." & "You don't need to fear anything when you're with me."

when satoru got the human brains for them to practice on:

"You did this for me?" "I would do anything for you."

when he's high before their big surgery and the first thing he says after focusing on her is this:

"Satoru, answer me!" His focus sharpened slightly. "God, you look so beautiful today."

of course!! the rain confession:

"Then just tell me! Tell me, will it ever stop?" "What do you mean?" "Wanting you—every damn second of every fucking day. I don't think I can take it anymore."

then the bathroom confession hehe:

"You just don't get it, do you?" "Get what?" "You consume me! I had it under control, I was stable until you came into my life! But now, you're all I can think about!" & "God, I can't think clearly when I'm around you! I can't sleep without thinking about you! All there is is the need to be near you, and nothing ever compares to that."

yeah also that smut scene hehe:

"I'm yours, Satoru. All yours. Do whatever you want to me." "Is that what you want? What you need?" You nodded, unable to speak past the lump forming in your throat. "Then I'll take care of you."

chess game overall okay, but also this specific line. the way he was so broken an his only concern was if she thought about him ahhhhhh:

"Did you think of me, while you were with him?" Huh? You paused and looked up from the chessboard to meet his gaze. His usually sharp, piercing eyes now held a hollowness, as if they were clouded. His brows drawn together as if in pain. Your response was soft, almost inaudible. "Yes."

when he promises to get clean for her after the chess game:

"I'll do anything you asked of me, sweetheart. I'm all yours."

after he punched that student at the summer gathering lol:

"Don't stress your pretty head over it. I'm here, and I won't let anything get to you."

when he casually dropped that he wants to marry her:

"Can't be any more 'out there' than mine. Besides, she's your mom. I'd like to get to know my future mother-in-law." "What?" "Aren't we there yet?" "Where? What are you talking about?" "What, is the thought of you marrying me so absurd?" "Kind of, yes." "I'll just pretend I didn't hear that," he replied, undeterred. "Are you serious?" "I am serious." & "I mean, isn't that where this is heading? Us, together, for the long haul?"

one of my favorites definitely this, when he casually dropped to bombs, because one was not enough:

"I love you." Ha? "And I got sued." Haaaa?

when he hoped she would say again that they're in a relationship ahah:

"We're in a relationship?" Say it again, love. "You're such an idiot." Giving me nothing as always.

she showing him her dedication after they found out sukuna in part of the committee judges:

"Why do you even stay?" "Because you would do the same. You would stay. You wouldn't leave me." "You don't know that." "I do."

also this in the same scene, when she's like so done with him and gets really angry:

"I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I can be what you need—what you deserve." "And how does that make you feel? Knowing, too bad you don't get to decide? That I'm sticking around regardless—even when you try your hardest to push me away?"

this unhinged line, when he takes drugs off her tongue lol:

"Shame I have to get clean, you look so pretty like that."

and of course!! when he asked her to move in while they fucked ahahah:

"You know, you can bring a few things here, if you want." "Huh? Did you just fucking ask me to move in?" "I mean, if you want to." "You can't just ask me to move in while we fuck, Satoru." "Why not?"

okay this got really long now sorry ☠️☠️ i'd love to hear some of your favorite quotes, too! sending good vibes your way!! ♡

#inbox #symptoms and causes

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phosphorus-noodles · 9 months ago

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joel joel joel joel 🎭💄😬😭😶 <3 (and also the anger one if u want. and also oli if you want? if this is too many feel free to leave any out sjdfklsdj <3 <3 <3)

JOEL JOEL JOEL JOEL !!!!!

it's NEVER too much i love joel and also oli <33

but i'm not doing every canon iteration i think i'd die /silly, so my au it is because i think that's predictable enough from me,

🎭 A headcanon about what they lie about

Ohh... lots of things...

There's a stream clip somewhere where Oli says Joel is a compulsive liar and I latched onto that. Man lies ALL the time about stuff just. because. he just does it, he doesn't think. it's usually harmless?? like "do you like x food" "ohh yeah! i looove x food! ^^" because... what if they get mad at him for saying the wrong thing :(

I dunno, man's got anxiety and he lies a lot compulsively because of it- also lots of "what are you doing?" "nothing!!" when it's literally. the most arbitrary thing. you don't need to hide man it's okay,

Oli lies to be funny. He lies to commit more to the bit. He also lies to repress his feelings and bottle them up so they never see the light of day <3

💄 An appearance headcanon

DID I NEVER POST MY MEZALEAN JOEL DESIGN,

I think I did. I change it a lot tbf. But I don't think I posted the one I'm thinking of- it's lots of bright colors!! He likes to dress nice but not too stuffy, look nice but feel nicer yk? And he likes his hair fluffy and bouncy and curly and ouhrghjg,,,

And he used to HATE his rainbow freckles bc he thought they were stupid, but Oli helped him change his view on them hehe <33

Oli's kiiinda the same way? But not really. Doesn't really care about how he looks when he's just hanging around, but if he can get Joel flustered by dressing up nicer, ohhh he cannot pass that up 😌🫶

😬 A headcanon about the worst thing they’ve done

The worst thing Oli ever did was talk to Joel. The worst thing Joel ever did was talk back.

That's a joke but. man. consequences or something, /silly

Nah the REAL worst thing Joel's ever done was probablyyy... let Oli stay the night that one time?? Like after the events of this fic- I'd imagine Joel's parents were Royally (hah) upset the next morning when they see that their child was sleeping with the son of their (now dead) political rivals ghjfgjf... like Joel feels 100% justified in the whole thing (and also rather enjoyed it, tyvm) but also,, he was probably grounded for literally a month if not longer afterwards hgjfhgjf.....

For Oli... I'm sure he's an absolute Joy to have in class if you know what I mean (/silly) like he is tormenting the halls of the palace and being a general nuisance but none of it would really be "worst thing ever" bc he's a prince and also just goofy so he's annoying but the staff loves him yk. I think what would be considered the "worst" thing though is gonna be in the next fic I post :3c

😭 A headcanon about the worst thing that happened to them

Gosh... I mean... I do kill them kinda. That's pretty significant. Joel dies horribly and Oli is trapped in stone for 200 years. That's pretty awful.

But that hasn't happened Yet and I dunno if I'll ever have the heart to write that particular scene ghfjgd... like I know how it happens in my head. but. I can't do that to them by putting it in writing </3

Besides that... Oli's parents did die too. Still dunno if it was political conspiracy or not. But either way, that's pretty awful and traumatic for him- and he couldn't be with his best friend for a few months before that and then afterwards he STILL couldn't be with him for a while... brutal for him :(

And Joel's upbringing is just kinda... sad. He's sooo lonely and then he FINALLY gets a friend and of COURSE it's the ONE PERSON he's not allowed to really talk to and his parents aren't supportive at ALL of their friendship but they gotta grin and bear it bc yaayyy alliesss and it's so tense and awful and makes him feel guilty because it's like he's gotta choose his family or his only friend but his family was always so neglectful anyway so why would he choose them but that's his Home and- anyways. Any event involving that whole dynamic is his worst, hope this helps ^^

+ A headcanon relating to anger

Hmm... anger is tricky. I feel like Joel is definitely the kinda guy to bottle it all up because he's not allowed to Feel those things or Show them yk. So every once in a while he explodes into frustrated growls (yeah. he definitely growls. but it's like if an ouppy was baby growling,) and hot angry tears and it's just..... oh sweetheart,

I think Oli's kinda the opposite?? Y'know the post that's like "life shattering tragedy = oh rip L" but "mild inconvenience = i want to kill everything dead forever !!!" he's like that. Gets Real Mad over all the small things but when something Big happens he's just. oh. ok 👍

Like he's still mad, but he just goes blank. What's he supposed to even do. His brain just Stops Working once the mild inconveniences pile up to be too high. Yes he is awful at dealing with stress how could you tell /silly

😶 A random headcanon!

JOEL. LOVES. SNIFFERS.

I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TALK ABOUT THIS FOR SO LONG. BUT HE LOVES THEM. SO SO MUCH.

Like it's a special interest of his but like unofficially. If given the chance he would 110% give up being royalty to go be a field researcher studying sniffers. But also not a field researcher because they're endangered :(

In my au I've decided sniffers are indeed still alive but they're (almost) all kept in one big sanctuary in Mezalea. Maybe there's a few wild ones left but like no one's seen em so it's assumed they're all there. I figured if this au takes place ~200 years before "canon empires" and also irl dodo birds were around in the 1800s... yeah sure, why not? Sniffers can be canon <3

Of course when Oli hears about this he absolutely learns how to shapeshift into one to impress Joel. Which absolutely works. Because oh my void sniffers,,,,

I can't really think of an Oli hc I've been wanting to talk about?? Just that 1) he regresses into small animals when things get Too Much, and 2) he likes to shapeshift into funny little animals to play with Joel sometimes ^^

(character ask game!)

#... I'VE BEEN WRITING THIS FOR OVER AN HOUR.#goodness. i had some thoughts tonight /silly #uh. some things got deep but i don't think anything was too deep to tag for- if it was lmk hgfjgd #pho.asks #aeriedwelling #aerie my beloved <33 i love typing things for a [redacted] amount of time :]#butterflies.and.wind.chimes #<- since it's basically all i talked about WAHH #i'm. bonkers about them. hope this helps /silly

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