#a mutual did say they think it happens too when someone adds your post to draft

[weather-phenomenon]

im seeing way too many ghost reblogs on posts lately and im sorry im convinced staff uas some secret blog it reblogs secret stuff to for some secret reason bc otherwise what????

[satoruxx]

PARACOSM OF THE GODS.

PAIRING: gojo satoru x f!reader, geto suguru x f!reader | 11.5k words

SUMMARY: ok here we go, canon au, angst, fluff, best friends being in love, stsg being whipped but unable to express it, reader is clueless as usual, timeskips, canon compliant deaths, bittersweet, longing, mutual pining, emotionally stunted teens, dad!gojo makes an appearance, hopefully that’s it i'm tired of typing

RHEYA'S NOTE: highkey lowkey stressed posting bc this has been sitting in my wips for 4 years now. i honestly didn't have to add much to it i basically just proofread. but yeah when you maladaptive daydream and create a plot where you're a character in jjk and you're also in love with gojo and geto this is what happens. a little sad to let this go but it's time !! plus i can add more parts later. but anyways pls lmk what you think, i'm super curious to know <33

i. the unknown

satoru's first impression of you is anything but kind.  

his words come casually, free into the wind without care, and they aren't meant for you to hear. instead, they fall only to suguru's ears, evoking a deep chuckle and a slight shake of his head. his bangs swish a little with the movement, but satoru is too busy eyeing you over the frame of his shades to notice. 

you're lucky to have not heard it, because the intent with which it was said would have probably made your brow tick with frustration. he says it without a thought, as if he hasn't the slightest bit of interest in you as hints of arrogance fill his tone. 

"who's the rookie?" 

satoru and suguru sit outside against the patio railings of the classroom they had chosen for the day. it overlooks the grounds of the school, where they have a clear view of who approaches the main entrance. suguru absentmindedly clicks his lighter—shoko had gone to get another pack of cigarettes. 

it is from this higher point that they have a clear view of you. you're so obviously new to this, satoru thinks as he watches how you awkwardly stand in front of yaga sensei. 

he already wants to label you as a side character. it's mean, he realizes—cruel even, but he can barely bring himself to care. 

"yaga sensei mentioned that there'd be a new student joining us this week," suguru says, fingering the bangs hanging in front of his eyes. they roam over you with only slight interest before uttering your full name, just as his teacher had said it.

satoru repeats it with a hum. "not a big name or anything. a small-sized family of sorcerers i think." he shrugs carelessly. "but honestly i never really paid attention to all those stupid clan and jujutsu family lessons." 

suguru only responds with a good-natured chuckle, tearing his eyes away from the scene to look at his friend. "no shit." 

the two sit in quiet silence, watching yaga's lips move in structured, emotionless greetings as he shakes your hand. satoru is especially focused on the hunching of your shoulders and the way your eyes nervously dart around. 

suguru is the first to interrupt the peace. 

"maybe she's strong?" 

"are you kidding?" satoru scoffs as he stands up straight, shoving his fists into his pockets. he turns his nose up slightly. "that's not the attitude of someone who's confident in their abilities." 

ii. routine 

"can i ask you guys a question?" 

a cool breeze tickles your skin, goosebumps rising in its wake, and you suppress a shiver. the smell of the air tells you winter is fast approaching. 

"you just did," satoru hums, his snowy hair splayed out against stems of green grass. suguru's chuckle reverberates deep in his chest, and you have to push back an exasperated smile. 

"another one then," you press, leaning over satoru's face to force yourself into his view. his blue eyes pierce through yours over the dark-rimmed frames of his glasses, and even after seeing them so many times, they still feel as dominating as the first. he hums again, and you take that as your cue. 

"what did you first think of me when we met all those months ago?" 

satoru sits up quickly, and you can already feel your shoulders dropping when you catch a glimpse of the teasing smirk on his lips. he shifts so that he's directly facing you, leaning close so that the two of you are barely a palm's distance from one another. 

"thought you were an annoying little rookie~" he sings and you immediately shove at his shoulder.

"'m not a rookie anymore," you huff, and satoru laughs joyously. suguru only grins, his eyes darting between the two of you happily. satoru moves himself into a proper sitting position, digging his long fingers into your bag of chips and popping one into his mouth. you swat at his hand, even though you don't mean it, because though you complain about gojo satoru all the time, you would give him the whole world if you could. 

you and satoru take turns reaching into the bag. you wonder if the sound of crunching disturbs suguru. he's not asleep—he's just doing that thing where he keeps his eyes closed and escapes to his own land of tranquility. you'd like to give him as much peace as you can, so you stay quiet. satoru does too, but you think that's just because you aren't talking to him. 

the quiet is nice when you're with them. sometimes silence makes you feel alone—paranoid. it feels like there is some impending doom hovering over your shoulder, and all you can do is wait for it to come. but with them it is different. you know that any danger in the quiet will be caught by the two of them. maybe that's why it's so easy to let your guard down around them. you trust that they won't let you die.  

"i thought you were weak," satoru pipes up after a few minutes of silence. "you didn't seem like you were confident in your abilities, and that's a sign of weakness." 

after spending so much time with satoru and suguru, the word weak has permeated almost every one of your conversations. later you learned how much more significant it was for them to label someone as strong. you chase after the word—crave it.

"and turns out that wasn't true." suguru adds with a smile, his head leaning back against the trunk of the tree. his eyes are still closed serenely and you wonder if he can feel the way you're gazing at him. 

"yeah and now you act like some big hotshot," satoru grumbles, as though he doesn't want to admit to his old mistake, but you can hear his smile. it annoys you, the way his once degrading little nickname has now somewhat turned into a term of endearment. you would rather die than admit that you like hearing him say it. 

"well, I'm glad that i was able to prove you both wrong."

the conversation ends there. 

shoko returns a few minutes later, tossing you a can of soda and suguru a pack of cigarettes. as soon as she sits down in her spot under the tree you're forcing your head into her lap and kicking your feet onto satoru's legs. you ignore his complaints, because you know that in just a little bit he'll quiet down and his hand will rest over your ankle, fingers soft but firm. they'll occasionally drum some rhythmic tune, or draw nonsensical patterns against your skin.

shoko's fingers thread through your hair, just like they always do, and you know that in a few minutes you'll doze off in her lap, just like you always do. it's clockwork, this thing that you have with them. they make the days keep going—time doesn't stop for you. 

a part of you wishes you could freeze time at that moment. 

but you can't. 

iii. halcyon

"hey suguru?"

"hm?"

"how come you always do your hair the same way?"

suguru glances up from his book. he's seated at your desk, and for a minute, the breeze pushes your curtains so that they block your view of him. satoru groans lightly from your left, turning on his side to snuggle deeper into your pillow, and slumber overtakes him once more. him and shoko remain quiet, faces free of worry as they dream in a land that is so unlike the real world you live in.

"what do you mean?" suguru asks in response to your question. he has an amused smile on his face as he places his book on your desk, though his thumb and pointer finger keep his page.

"well…" you suddenly feel stupid for asking, but he's looking at you so intently now. "you have such nice hair. you could style it in so many different ways."

"are you saying you don't like my hair the way it is?" he frowns.

"no no!" you scramble, shaking your head emphatically. quite the opposite actually you think he's so so attractive—how on earth did you screw this up so badly? "that's not it i just—"

he laughs, tilting his head fondly. "i'm just messing with you, hotshot."

you blanch, before crossing your arms with a huff. "asshole…"

he chuckles, before lifting a calloused hand up to finger the tie that holds his hair in a bun. he glances back at you, before a michevious smile settles on his face. he gives the tie one sharp tug, and the bun falls away. black hair drops, resting on his shoulders, and you stare at him—oddly parched. wind brushes through the open window, tickling your curtains, tickling his now open hair. you had seen his hair down before, of course. in the few seconds after a sparring session when the bun had gotten loose, or when too many strands escaped the tie and fell in front of his face (he always pushed them away with an agitated huff). but now he looks different—good, you realize. he looks good.

"how should i style it then, hotshot?"

his question shakes you out of your daze. you hum in contemplation. "i don't know."

he laughs quietly, as to not wake the other two. "didn't you just say there were so many ways to style it? enlighten me then," he teases, reaching over to grab a small scrap of paper from your desk. he slots it where his fingers are holding place, and then closes the book. he swivels in the chair to face you completely, rolling over so that he's right in front of you.

"well…" you start, biting your lip in thought. "a ponytail maybe?"

suguru bunches his hair into his fist, holding it up against his head. "and? how do i look?"

you grin, eyeing the new style with a stifled laugh. "fantastic."

he laughs again, louder this time, before dropping his hand.

"it looked good though!" you laugh and he rolls his eyes fondly.

"yeah yeah," he dismisses with a wave of his hand. he looks back at you, eyes tracing over your hair before he grins wide.

"i like yours."

you blink. "mine?"

"the way you did your hair today," he points to the half up-half down style you've thrown together. a dark blue ribbon holds the hair in place—satoru had said it matched nicely with your uniform. suguru's eyes gleam as he appraises it. "it's nice. it looks really pretty on you."

something in your chest feels like it fell off a cliff.

"oh—" you stumble, before smiling at him because that's all you can do when he makes you feel like this. "thanks suguru."

"do mine like that," he says quickly.

once again, you blink owlishly and all you can manage is a stupid "huh?"

"do my hair like that," he repeats, getting up from the chair to sit at your feet, back towards you. he crosses his legs and puts his hands in his lap, patiently waiting.

"you can't do it yourself?" you tease, scooting closer to the edge of the bed.

"i can," he replies and you can hear the easy smile in his voice. "but i want you to do it for me."

"okay then!" you laugh before gently parting sections of his hair out. and then you work in silence, putting more effort into his hair than you've ever done with your own.

iv. fragility

"lady riko does not have any relations. when she was young, her family was involved in an accident…since then, i've been her caretaker. so please let her at least spend time with her fr—" 

"—so that makes you her family then." 

suguru's words seem to stun kuroi, the weight of riko's situation finally making itself clear as her face crumbles. 

"…yes." 

you listen to the way her voice wobbles, and try to suppress the poisonous lump forming in your throat. 

"then we do everything we can to make her happy," you say solemnly, leaving no room for argument. suguru seems to agree and says nothing—some deeper part of you feels something more than thankful towards him. 

"you're awfully sensitive for a jujustu sorcerer, you know that?" satoru comments offhandedly. you turn to look at him, meeting his piercing gaze over dark rims. 

"maybe," you concur. "is that considered weak?" 

satoru seems to ponder his answer, before shrugging, a light smile on his face. "to some people, maybe." 

you manage to smile back, and he takes in the expression with an odd look on his face. "say what you want, satoru. but you agree with me, don't you?" 

he looks away, eyes gazing out to the distance where you know riko is currently in class with her friends, trying to live the life she wants, and something in them softens considerably. 

"we'll do things the way she wants us to." 

it's one sentence, said without a smile or laugh, but hearing it fall from satoru's lips makes you beam at him. 

that's just your kindness, isn't it, satoru?

your heart leaps when you notice the tips of his ears tinge with rouge. 

v. longing

riko's hand is warm against the coolness of your fingers. your body feels hyperaware of your surroundings, toes deep in hot sand and salty air sticking to your skin. for some odd reason, you can't seem to relax. unconsciously, you tighten your grip around the young girl's palm. she glances up at you, but when you look down at her, she's wearing the biggest smile you've ever seen. 

satoru's presence makes itself known behind you—his shadow looms over yours in the sand. "it'll be fine," he says.

you can't see his face, nor can you see suguru who stands at his side, but your shoulders drop slightly, and you find yourself smiling back at riko. 

"i'm getting in the water!" she squeals eagerly, before dragging a helpless kuroi with her. satoru laughs—a clear, pristine sound—and follows after her. you watch the three of them with a fond smile, something akin to content settling deep within you.  

"and what are you planning on doing?" suguru asks. you turn to look at him, watching the way his heavy eyes stay focused on you. 

"hmm," you quirk a brow mischievously. "build sandcastles with me?" 

suguru blinks owlishly before he breaks out into a good-natured laugh. 

"deal." he walks closer to the water's edge, where the sand is damper, and crouches down. he turns to look at you over his shoulder. "don't make me do all the work, hotshot." 

you stand there, taking him in—really taking him in. he's just as clear as the sky behind him, and the sun shining on his face makes his smile glow. you want him to continue smiling at you like that well into the future. the waves crash onto the shore, as though the ocean is chasing his radiance, and an overwhelming feeling of unfiltered affection swells in your chest. 

your feet carry you forward, and you think that they might always lead you back to him. 

the sun rises as time passes, and occasionally you spare a glance at satoru and riko, who are screaming as they splash water at one another. and then you catch a glimpse of kuroi, who stands with her feet in the water, a soft smile on her face. 

and in that moment, nothing can be ruined. 

"what's wrong?" suguru's voice calls out, and you tear your gaze away from the others to look back at him. he stands behind you with two strawberry ice cream cones in his hands. 

"nothing," you hum, a serene smile on your face. "everything's perfect."

his eyes trace your face, stopping to linger on your smile, and they soften. "it is, isn't it?" 

he turns to the ocean, watching satoru and riko, and his eyes sparkle. "i hope it stays like this always." 

"me too." 

he bends down to take his place at your side before he hands you a cone. you take it from him. suguru's eyes drift away from you to look down at his castle. 

"i think it looks great," he expresses, before taking a lick of his ice cream. 

you roll your eyes with a huff. "yeah, because you made it look so nice. you're unnecessarily good at this, suguru." 

he laughs, waving his hand dismissively. "no no, we did it together! and yours is nice too!" 

"maybe," you grin, looking at his castle. "but yours is extra pretty." 

he smiles back, before pointing at a small hole in his sand tower. "see this room? it's yours." 

"mine?" you chuckle.

"yeah, all yours," he hums softly. "this is my castle and you get your own room." 

"oh? and why's that?" 

suguru's gaze lingers on you, and his dark eyes soften considerably. "because you'll always have a place in my home." 

you stare at him, speechless—something hammers away at the inner crevices of your chest. 

"and this one—" he points to another hole a few inches away from the first. "—is my room." 

"well in that case, that room is mine too!" you declare.

"what?" he barks out a laugh. "how does that work?" 

"well…" you grin at him, the sun burning into your cheeks. "because my home is wherever you are!" 

suguru's cheeky smile fades and his eyes widen. he looks at you, mouth agape, and you're about to say something else before sticky coolness trickles down your wrist. 

"ack!" you hurry to wipe away the strawberry ice cream dripping down your skin and you completely miss the red that creeps up his neck and seeps into his ears. 

vi. ice bath

shoko's fingers are unbelievably soft. you're grateful that you were unconscious through most of her procedures on your battered body—you don't think you would've handled the pain too well. she's quiet as she works over the large wound that now covers almost half of your torso. the man with the scar on his lip had done quite the number on you, and you don't think you'll ever forget the searing ache of his blade slicing through your flesh. he had left you in a bloodied pile, isolated, and you hadn't seen what had happened to suguru after the man shot riko. you could only lay there, vision swimming as a bitter taste filled your mouth—a reminder of the life you failed to protect.

the pain had been the only thing you could focus on, until satoru was on his knees at your side and tightly gripping your shoulders. your hazy focus was drawn to his lips as he spewed curses and insults at you. 

"why didn't you run away, you little shit," he had shouted, a feral look in his eyes. there was something different about him—a change in his very being that you could see even in the throes of death. "shoko's coming, do you hear me? for fuck's sake, keep your eyes open, hotshot!" 

you swore you saw his eyes shine behind that look of uncontrolled anger. he had been talking a mile a minute and your focus had waned until you could only see his lips move, no sound reaching your ears.

you've never thought satoru looked more godly than he did at that moment.

suguru eventually found his way into your field of vision—knelt at satoru's side. his large hand had squeezed your limp fingers in a death grip. he was sweating, and his eyes were darting back and forth between your pale face and bloodied torso, something akin to guilt swimming in them. you wished that you had the strength in you to squeeze his hand in return. the last thing you remember seeing is his dark hair falling in front of his face as he turned to shout at whoever was approaching.

now you're awake. disoriented and bleary, but awake, and all you can look at is the way shoko's bangs fall over her furrowed brows. she's taken care of the bleeding, and now all that's left is a dull throbbing, reminding you of how close you had toed the line with death. you don't know this yet, but the scar will remain for the rest of your life, and that dull throbbing will be a permanent reminder of your narrow escape. 

shoko hasn't said a word since she noticed your eyelids flutter open. you want to ask her so many things. important things that cannot wait: 

where's satoru? how about suguru? i saw them both. satoru's alive, right? and suguru, too? the man—with the scar. where did he go? he said that satoru—riko….where is riko? and—and kuroi…i—i..couldn't save riko. when did you get here, shoko? and why am i the only one who's being taken care of by you? 

you want to ask her. but she's making a very odd expression as her hands ghost over your body. you've never seen it before, this odd quirking of her lips. her teeth sink into the bottom one, and she chews and bites and nibbles like it's some kind of nervous tell. 

"shoko?" 

it's all you can manage to say—all you dare. your voice is dry, shaky, and sounds almost foreign to your ears. you're going to ask more, at least one of those thousand questions you had asked in your head earlier, but you don't get to because she speaks before you. 

"shut up," she spits, and the wobble in her voice has you pinching your lips shut and feeling closer to death than you did before. 

vii. acid rain

the sound of clapping is deafening. you don't think you've ever heard a sound so horrid in your life before, and you feel as though your ears are bleeding heavily. you can faintly make out the conversation between satoru and suguru, your ears struggling to pick out the tones of their voices. 

"no…" you hear suguru say quietly. "it doesn't matter if I'm fine…"

you can feel satoru's eyes roam over your motionless body, watching the way you gaze out into the crowd impassively. 

"let's get out of here, guys."

your feet carry you numbly, and you aren't aware of anything except the way riko's arm is swinging in front of you lifelessly. there are no mirrors around—no way of catching the track of tears cutting over your cheeks. the places where the salt touches burn like acid. you say nothing. 

satoru's gaze feels intrusive. he doesn't need to ask you anything—he just knows. it's like your body is radiating the emotions tumbling around in your gut. 

you're awfully sensitive for a jujutsu sorcerer, you know that?

"do you want to…kill them all?" 

the question stuns you, and for the first time, you can shake yourself out of your daze to look at satoru directly. blood is smeared over the left side of his face, cerulean eyes dimmed, as though something had pulled the shine out of them. red seeps into the fine hairs of his restless eyebrows. 

"right now, i probably wouldn't even feel anything," he continues, staring at you listlessly.

you think satoru might be feeling just as numb as you are. you don't know what happened to him yet. the last you had heard, gojo satoru had been killed by the man with the scar. he had boasted about it to you before he attempted to kill you too. but then satoru was at your side again, completely alive as he ran your battered body to shoko like a crazed man. 

you'll find out later who the man with the scar on his lip was, and what kind of legacy he had left behind. but for right now, all you see is a teenager with the weight of the world on his shoulders, and you know your answer.

satoru could help the pain go away; he'd be able to make the clapping stop—maybe then your ears wouldn't bleed anymore. but you couldn't ask that of him. 

"forget it. it's pointless," suguru mutters, and you're glad he's on the same page as you. not because any of these people deserve pity, but because satoru deserves a break—one less burden for him to carry. 

you hear suguru say more, but you can't focus. you continue to listen to the sound of the clapping, and once again lose yourself as you stare at riko's bloodied fingertips. 

"pointless, huh?" satoru mumbles in response to suguru's answer. "does there need to be a reason?" 

"of course. it's important," suguru's voice doesn't carry the same pleasant tone it always does. instead, it sounds strained, and tired beyond belief. unsure. "especially as jujutsu sorcerers." 

satoru doesn't respond, but you know that he's measuring the weight of his friend's words. that's how it was with the two of them. they both balance each other out—their moral compasses influenced by one another. but then you feel satoru look up from riko's body and turn to you. suguru follows suit, and before you can wonder why, it hits you: satoru had asked you both. 

you suck a deep breath in, feeling unusually breathless. the flesh of your stomach tingles with a painful reminder of what might've been, and you make up your mind. 

"killing them won't change anything," you say, breaking your silence. the tears on your cheeks have dried, but they leave a rigid trail in their wake—a trail that still stings. "let's just leave it at that." 

viii. fever dreams

satoru lies next to you. 

a few nights have passed since riko's death, and you've chosen to stay holed up in your room. you're not sure why—death has always played a big role in your life. you don't understand why it's different this time. 

tonight is different as well. while you've maintained a distance from everyone since that day, save for classes and passing by people on school grounds, today you've decided to let someone in. satoru's the lucky one, mostly because he would've pestered you until you opened your door for him anyway. 

it's strange though. he had knocked over and over, and when you finally opened up with a snappy jab at his annoying personality, he had brushed straight past you and laid across your bed. he hadn't said a word since then, and you've found yourself lying next to him in silence for quite a while. 

his hand stretches out in the darkness and you can feel his fingertips brush over the skin of your arm. it's delicate, like he's testing his limits, but you understand. it's just to ground himself—to know that you're still here, with him. to be sure that you're still alive.

you think the scar that goes down your body bothers him a lot more than it bothers you. 

"'m here," you mumble sleepily. your fingers reach up to bump against his knuckles, and you hear him inhale deeply. his voice is throaty when he replies. 

"i know." 

ix. doubt

satoru learns that you've never been kissed before and he teases you for it.

not in a mean way, but in a way that has your cheeks heating and your eyes avoiding his. suddenly it feels like the gap between ages 16 and 17 is huge. he's barely even a year older than you and you're in the same year, but it feels as though he knows so much more about the world than you do. you want to ask suguru if it's bad that you've never had a kiss, but you don't. suguru rarely talks these days. sometimes he'll have conversations with you but won't look in your eyes when he speaks. 

"hey listen, hotshot. if you don't get a kiss by…" satoru hums, an eager smile on his face as he swings an arm around your shoulders and contemplates his words. "…let's say 27, then i'll give one to you!" 

there's an odd note of glee in his voice. 

"shut up, toru," you groan, heat flooding your cheeks. "quit joking around." 

he laughs loudly, pulling your cheek teasingly. "aw, i'm just playing. it's not a bad thing i promise!" 

your shoulders relax slightly as the snowy-haired sorcerer continues to speak. 

"i just thought that you would've kissed someone by now," he shrugs. "wasn't there that one guy you went on a few dates with? the one you met when we went to yokohama?" 

there's an almost sour expression on his face as he speaks, but you're too frustrated to care. "just because i went on a couple of dates with him doesn't mean i kissed him!"

a broad teasing smile appears on satoru's face. "is that so?" 

"ugh, i'm only 16!" you hiss, shoving him away from you. "besides i'm saving it for someone special!"

"good," you hear suguru speak up, and you turn to look at him. his fingers are interlocked, elbows resting on his knees, and he's staring down at his hands like they hold the answers to some deep questions he has. "it is something irreplaceable after all." 

x. shadow

satoru's grin is proud as he stands before the three of you, his loose shirt billowing in the summer breeze.

you stare at him, heart thumping as shoko lets out a confused gasp. "huh? what the hell was that?"

"did it automatically choose the target for your technique?" suguru asks.

"yep!" satoru stresses the word, spinning the pencil suguru had thrown as he explains. "though i am the target. i've pretty much automated what i used to have to do manually."

your head is spinning.

"now i can tell an object's danger levels based the strength of its cursed energy, its speed, mass, velocity, shape—whatever. i want to be able to discern poisons too but that's pretty hard right now." satoru's voice is even when he explains, though you can make out the hints of pride that permeate his tones. you think his voice has gotten a little deeper too. "basically this is gonna allow me to keep my limitless technique active all the time!"

"that's gonna fry your brain!" shoko interjects, shaking her hair out of her eyes.

"yeah but i can do it while i continuously generate energy on my own. that way my brain stays fresh."

you can't help but let out an amused scoff. "what brain?"

satoru chucks the eraser at you, and you laugh as it bounces off your shoulder harmlessly.

"i've been working on shortening my hand signals so i can activate red and blue simultaneously." he continues, lips twitching upward as he gives you an exaggerated glare. "after this the only things i need to work on are domain expansion and long-distance teleportation. which i should be able to do if we set up some training courses here at school."

you think if someone examined you closely, they would see the stars in your eyes when you look at satoru.

"shoko~" he calls out, grinning eagerly. "think you could get me some lab rats?"

shoko groans as satoru bounds over to pester her more emphatically. you watch him, thinking you've never seen a person quite so magnificent.

god personified into a 17-year-old body. and yet it is a body that stays so close to you—well within your reach. maybe there's nothing so godly about that at all.

"don't you get tired of getting stronger and stronger, jeez?" you complain, crossing your arms as you raise a brow at him. satoru wets his lips as he throws you a smug smile.

"don't worry hotshot, you'll catch up to me someday!" he gives you an exaggerated wink over the frames of his glasses, and you shake your head somewhat fondly.

"no way! i never want to be at your level," you huff. "i'm very comfortable living in your shadow, thank you very much!"

a strange look passes over his face, almost puzzled, but the dip in his brows melts away as he approaches you. "well—" he slings an arm over your shoulder. "if my shadow makes you happy then you're more than welcome to stay there."

you don't have time to reply. pale lashes flutter at you—a backdrop of cerulean. you think white and blue may be the prettiest combination of colors in the world.

"suguru?" satoru's voice is casual, yet the amusement has dropped from it. his arm is heavy around your shoulders. "have you lost weight? are you okay?"

you look up, seeing tired eyes behind dark stands of hair. suguru's cheekbones are prominent, and you have the sudden urge to reach out and trace your fingers over them.

his lips twitch upward weakly. "it's just the summer heat…"

his lavender eyes drift to your face as he says it, and he tilts his head as he scrutinizes your worried expression. "…i'll be fine."

xi. hellfire

you hear suguru before you see him.

his breaths come loud as he pushes the door to the morgue open, the metal clanging heavily. his eyes bore into your back, taking in your clenched fists and raised shoulders that seem to tremble.

you wonder who told suguru you'd be here. maybe nanami, who was here not long ago, and had sent you a text that merely said: the mission went badly.

or maybe it was satoru, who had been chatting with you near the entrance of campus when he saw the myriad of emotions pass over your face as you read the text. he had probably called suguru as soon as you left.

it doesn't matter—you can't bring yourself to care.

you can only think about the way haibara had smiled at you before he left that morning.

now that smile is covered by a dirty white sheet, and you can't tear your eyes away from it. the taste of blood and vomit is heavy on your tongue.

suguru says your name quietly. you can't even look at him—you're scared that you'll cry if you do.

you don't ever want to cry in front of him. or satoru—so weak in front of those who are so strong.

"he asked if i wanted to go with them and i said no because i was lazy," you hiss, teeth clenched as you spit out the words with venom. "if i had just stopped thinking about myself for a second—"

your fingers dig into the flesh of your palms—deep, deep, deeper.

you hear suguru click his tongue, and his hands wrap around yours. he yanks your fingers apart fiercely, thumbs smoothing over the bloodied indents you've made in your own skin. you tear your eyes away from the body to finally look at him.

"don't—" his breath catches as his thumbs still over your flesh, eyes going hard as he takes in the blood.

he blurs in and out of focus. his head whips up when he hears you sniffle, and his lips slant ruefully. "you—"

"i'm fine," you interrupt, blinking pointedly and taking a deep breath. "it's fine—i mean it's not fine—but i c—"

"stop." suguru grabs your shoulders, giving you an even stare. you don't know how you didn't notice it before, but he looks thinner, older. there are dark circles under his eyes—poison seeping into his skin. "you need to rest."

you stare back at him silently, but you don't feel like you agree. something about this is making you feel restless, like there is so much you need to make up for. his grip tightens, before he's wordlessly leading you to take a seat—he finds his place next to you.

"satoru took over the mission." he stares at the lifeless body on the table as he speaks. you lower your gaze.

"and nanami?" your throat feels like it's closing. suguru inhales deeply.

"he went back to the dorms."

"okay."

you try to figure out if there is any meaning in having this conversation. despite everything, weren't you expected to wake up tomorrow morning and head out on a mission once more? and when you return, you're sure that there'll be another faceless body taking haibara's place.

the cycle continues—clockwork. it scares you, just how replaceable you are.

haibara, nanami, you, another, nameless—interchangeable.

not like satoru. not like suguru. not like the strong.

you lean your head against suguru's shoulder, fingering the hem of your uniform skirt. the fabric is cool to the touch—it seems darker, heavier. heat radiates from the body next to you, and there's something about him that's making your stomach churn with nerves. "suguru?"

his voice sounds far away. "hm?"

"are you okay?"

he stiffens and you suddenly fear you've said too much—nosy, intruding, out of place. you stumble. "it's just, we haven't talked much lately."

"i'm fine," he answers, and you can hear a smile in his voice—whether it's real or fake you can't tell. "just a little tired."

you know there is truth to this. but it scares you, how this tiredness of his has lingered for months. you don't know how to tell him that.

"okay…" your voice is barely a whisper, heavy with unspoken words that you don't know how to formulate. somehow you find that silence has always been your only option.

but like usual, silence with suguru has never once been uncomfortable.

haibara's smile burns behind your eyelids.

"it should be a relatively simple mission. if you're not doing anything today senpai, would you like to come with us?"

his voice tickles your ears.

"that's alright! i'll get going then! oh right, today's mission is a little farther than usual, so we'll probably be back late! what would you like me to bring back for you?" 

hypoxia crushes your lungs, your blood burns. selfish selfish selfish. you've only ever cared about yourself.

suguru's arm curls around your shoulder before you even realize you're crying. his palm is warm as it smooths over your hair, and all you can worry about tainting him with your ridiculous tears.

you don't ever want to burden him—just want to quietly live in his shadow.

"i don't—" you internally cringe at the throaty rasp of your voice, swiping a hand at your nose. "i shouldn't be so sensitive about—"

"it's not your fault." he quietly hushes you, grip tightening imperceptibly. through your tears you can see him adam's apple bob, and for some reason that makes you feel worse. you're too scared to look at his expression, even though his voice is resolute. "none of this is our fault."

something has changed in the way he speaks now. something has settled, a confirmation of some idea that has been brewing for a long time now.

you don't say another word, but somehow he manages to sear himself into your very being. he's warm, and fuzzy, and he smells like sandalwood and incense. 

you don't know how long suguru let's you pathetically sob into his shoulder.

but you think you're embarrassed that he has taken pity on a wounded animal's cries.

xii. split

he looks different, but also the same. you've seen him wear that sweater before. it's plain black, no patterns, and you know that there's a loose string on the inside of the left sleeve that he was always too lazy to cut. you've always liked that sweater—always liked the way he looked in it. 

you liked it so much that you've even stolen it a few times yourself. 

but now it looks different. older and dirtier—as though soiled by some unknown curse. 

that's what everything came down to, right? curses. 

suguru stands in front of you, almost no trace of emotion on his handsome face, and his expression makes you want to turn and run. you miss the calm serenity that normally graced his features, wishing that you had some kind of cursed technique that could turn back time. but you aren't blessed like that—you wonder what sin you might've committed in a past life that made you so unlucky in this one. 

"you look confused," he comments. you reel at how casually he speaks to you, like it's just another afternoon sitting under that stupid tree. like he's leaning his head back against the trunk and watching you and satoru bicker with that fond look in his eye. 

"suguru," you speak, an odd strain in your voice. you struggle to comprehend this odd turn of events. you've had time to understand that he's now a different person than the one you once knew. you know that he's responsible for killing 112 innocents, including his own parents. you know that he's now an enemy to jujutsu society and you know that you should kill him right at this moment.

but he looks so much like suguru, like your suguru, that you can only manage to stand there, frozen in place. his eyes drift over your body, taking in your pajamas, the bath towel in your hands, and the small drops that trickle from your hair, and you can see the familiarity settle in his expression. 

"why are you here?" you choke out. you feel an overwhelming sense of danger in your gut, knowing that your family is just a few rooms over from where he stands now. 

"at your family home, you mean?" he asks casually. a small, almost amused smirk appears on his face. "you said i was always welcome." 

you did say that. sometime last year or the year before, when you had invited satoru, suguru, and shoko over to visit during one of your quick holidays. suguru had sat across from you at your dinner table. he complimented the food and your father smiled one of his rare smiles. you had chewed quietly to hide your grin.

you don't know what to say to him now. 

"everything they said about you," you whisper, taking a step toward him. he remains rooted in place, but his eyes follow your movements. they shift when he catches your fingers gripping your towel tighter. "is it true?" 

"do you think it is?" he asks, and you gulp. it feels like he's baiting you into some kind of trap. 

"i don't want to believe that it is," you answer, voice shaking. "that you would ever do something so…"

the sentence hangs in the air, and he tilts his head imperceptibly. something in his eyes changes as he focuses on the drops falling over your shoulders. 

"well i'm sorry to squash your hope," he raises his arms in a shrug. "but everything you heard is completely true." 

your head aches, but you're not surprised by his confirmation. "why would you…?"

suguru hums, a dark look falling over his face. "do you remember the conversation we had after haibara's funeral? do you remember what i told you when he died?" 

anger flares in your gut at the mention of haibara, and the bath towel crumples in your hold. "don't say his name," you hiss through gritted teeth. "don't act like he's the reason—just…don't bring him into this. please." 

suguru licks his lips, eyes going soft before he tries again. 

"everything used to make sense back then," he sighs. "back when the strong existed to protect the weak. but it's not true." 

"suguru—" 

"the reason why we suffer is because of them," he interjects evenly, though frustration is clearly evident in the curve of his brows and the volume of his voice. "we clean up their messes. they create problems and we die for it." 

you're stunned into silence, at the way he's raising his voice at you, at the way he's speaking so firmly about this horrible topic, at everything. he seems to realize the effect of his speech, and he quells his anger to speak quieter. "that's why i'm doing this. i'm going to create a world without non-sorcerers, so that sorcerers like you and i can live peacefully." 

a lump forms in your throat because god, he's right. he's so right. your life would be a thousand times better without curses. non-sorcerers were the reason curses existed. but the way he's going about this…

"suguru," your voice shakes, but you press on. "i get it. i really do—" 

"i know you do," he interrupts. "you always have. even back then…" 

he takes a step closer to you, reaching out to finger the towel in your hands. "but you don't agree with the way i'm doing it, right?" 

you bite your lip, and he smiles at the sadness in your expression. "you're so easy to read, hotshot." 

you ignore the way the nickname stings. "i just—how could you kill innocent people like that? your own parents, suguru."

he looks away from you, steely resolve in his eyes. "if i made exceptions for my parents, that would kinda make me a hypocrite, wouldn't it?"  

you don't know what to say to that. he doesn't seem to have anything else to add either. 

he looks around your old bedroom, eyes sparkling as they catch a picture of the four of you from your first year. satoru's arm is slung around shoko. the dark-haired female has her elbow resting on your shoulder, her tongue sticking out playfully. you're clinging to suguru's arm, and satoru's free hand is squishing your cheeks together. the four of you are laughing. 

nobody has laughed in a while now. 

you tear your gaze away from the picture frame to look at him. he's so unbelievably close, and he's gazing down at you with this foreign look in his eyes, the picture forgotten behind him. 

he slips his fingers into your hair. his palm is large enough that it can brush the side of your face, and you wonder why your body doesn't flinch away from those bloodstained hands.

"it's okay," he mumbles, a faraway look in his eyes. they remain trained on your hair, but it feels like he's looking straight through you. like you're nothing more than a ghost he wants to erase. he's so close—you can count his dark lashes as they brush against his cheeks. "it's difficult. i don't expect you to understand." 

his words incite a sudden flare of anger in your gut. it burns something fierce, and in that moment you hate him. 

"no, i don't," you reply indignantly. he pauses, now really looking at you, and his brows quirk upward in what seems to be surprise, because—well, he's never seen you make such an expression at him before. "you never tried to help me understand. you just left." 

a strained silence follows. his fingers twitch against your cheek.

"this doesn't concern you," he says finally. "i don't need you to understand my actions." 

you recoil, as though he's physically hurt you, and your expression falls so hard that it almost makes him regret saying it. almost. 

"if it doesn't concern me, then why are you here?" you ask again, and you see suguru's shoulders drop. "you know that i have orders to kill you. i might not be able to because you've always been stronger than me. but you know that i'll…" 

go down fighting you, is what you want to say, but the words leave a nasty taste in your mouth. but suguru seems to know what you're implying because a wry smile appears on his lips. his fingers twirl a strand of your wet hair. 

"i'm here to say goodbye," he says finally. another tense silence fills the space between you both, and suguru can see the way your fingers shake between the folds of your towel. 

"you're a little bit late for that, aren't you?" you choke out, a strange tilt to your voice as you break eye contact with him. "you left school weeks ago, and you didn't say a word to me then." 

"better late than never, right?" 

the softness in his tone makes you turn to look at him again, and you desperately want to ingrain the features of his face into your head. the gentle slope of his eyes and sweetness of his smile. he almost looks like the suguru you once knew, and you suddenly have the urge to mourn his death. 

his face becomes blurry, the edges becoming less pronounced, and you can see the way his expression falls. 

"i didn't come all the way here to make you cry." his hand drops from your face and he takes a step back. your fingers hurry to wipe at your waterline, and you shake your head. 

"'m not crying." 

suguru smiles ruefully, and his eyes suddenly look devoid of life. he takes another step back—your heart plummets.

he says your name once, quietly, and it hangs in the air as you wait for him to say more. 

he doesn't. 

"you know that I'm not supposed to let you leave alive, right?" you mumble, fingers toying with the towel in your hand. "but i can't—i mean—"

"hm," he chuckles. "still as sensitive as ever, huh? s'okay…" 

he moves toward you again and his hand gently cups the back of your neck. "i think it's your best quality. makes you better than most people in our world."

he presses his lips to your forehead tenderly, and you feel your eyes widen behind your tears. 

you probably could've stopped him, because you're aware that he's now suddenly behind you, and that he's raising his hand. you can stop him, but a part of you thinks that if it's death at suguru's hands, maybe it's not such a bad way to go. 

you accept your fate then and there. 

you'll find out later that suguru never had the intention to kill you then. perhaps he was waiting for a more opportune time, waiting for there to be a meaning behind it. you're not sure. but when you wake up tucked in your bed cozily, you'll feel the remnants of him lingering around you.

he was warm, and fuzzy, and he smelled like sandalwood and incense.

xiii. sanctify

satoru's at your door again. 

you've memorized his knock patterns. he always knocks three times, then leaves a pause, then twice more. for someone so erratic, he can be quite predictable. 

"what's up, satoru?" you call out, not looking up from your busy hands. there are a couple of empty cardboard boxes open on your bed, and you've been placing things into them all morning. things that should've been put away a long time ago. you pause on one of your old test papers, and in suguru's dark, blocky handwriting you read: 

YOU GOTTA STUDY MORE DUMBASS.

underneath it, satoru had scrawled: 

hotshot failing class now huh? :P

and shoko had added: 

both of you stfu you're failing too 

you had drawn a heart next to her name. 

"whatcha doin'?" a familiar voice chirps. "spring cleaning?"

satoru stands directly behind you, peering over your shoulder. you can practically feel his aura shift when he notices the items you're putting away. 

"cleaning of some sort," you sigh, before turning to look over your shoulder. "i've been…putting it off." 

he doesn't move—just continues to stare down at the paper in your hands. you think maybe you shouldn't have let him in. sometimes you forget that satoru might have his own sensitivities—you've always viewed him as the strongest.

a few strands of his hair tickle your cheek, and you scrunch your nose in response. he then turns to you, eyes blinding as he studies you over the frames of his shades. 

"want help?" 

"please." you don't intend to sound so needy, but the way you whisper the word has him immediately grabbing your wrist and sitting you down next to him on the bed. 

"how are we sorting this stuff?" he asks, his voice oddly calm. he hasn't let go of your arm yet, and some quiet part of you is grateful. 

"i was putting our old school stuff in that box. books, papers…" you answer softly, and satoru nods in understanding. "and in the other box…" 

you inhale deeply through your nose. satoru waits, strangely patient. you're not sure if you're imagining it, but you think he squeezes your wrist. 

"…are all of suguru's things." 

there's a moment of silence—a quick mourning for what is no longer there. 

"it's stupid stuff that he left behind, you know?" you chuckle, even though nothing is funny. "some old shirts from when you two would sleep over, his old textbooks, a few pictures from our holidays—shit like that." 

satoru hums. he's not looking at you—instead he's staring at the box, a frown on his face. 

"i guess he didn't really need those things for where he was going. or for wherever he is now," you mumble. 

"guess not." 

you're not sure what's going through his head. satoru's reaction to suguru leaving had been chaotic at best. it was so hard to tell how he felt about it. you knew he was angry, confused, betrayed. but he never showed things like that. you think it might have to do with being the strongest. you're not sure though—you never were strong like him.

you wish there was a way to tell him that he could share his feelings with you, but you can't think of a way that won't be awkward. 

a ticklish sensation crawls up your wrist and you look down to watch satoru's first two fingers tap against the inside of your palm. his thumb brushes against yours as he lets out a heavy exhale. 

"let's get started then, hotshot." 

he looks down at you as he says the words, and you think you might cry. but you want to be strong, like him, so you offer him a smile. he gives you one in return. you realize there isn't that much warmth in it, not like it used to have—you're sure that yours isn't that warm either. 

but it's enough for the two of you. 

"you look tired, toru," you chuckle wryly, reaching up to brush a few strands of hair from his face. his eyes flutter at the touch, and you honestly think this might be the most vulnerable you've ever seen him. 

"so do you." 

"i am," you admit honestly. 

"'s okay," he mumbles. his fingers tap against your palm once more. "'m here." 

"i know," you answer. you always are.

nothing more is said as satoru stands up. he makes his way over to your desk and pulls one of suguru's old sweaters from your chair. you watch him fold it neatly, smoothing out the creases with care, before placing it into the box—you smile once more. 

you think the scent of sandalwood tickles your nose, but it's gone in an instant.  

both of you work in relative silence, sorting through the things in your room quickly. you're surprised at how bare it looks as you're nearing the end, as though there's nothing more to your life than old high school recollections. 

you finish putting the last few polaroids into the box when satoru speaks up. 

"hey." 

you look up and find him staring at you, so you turn to face him completely, giving him your full attention. 

"zenin toji—" the name sends a painful tingle up your body. "—left something behind." 

you frown. "what are you talking about?" 

"a kid. he's got a kid. and i was gonna go meet him today," satoru shrugs. you try to read his emotions, but as usual, he's giving you nothing. "the old man said something about the zenin clan buying up his kid before i killed him. i was gonna go see if there's something i could do about that." 

you sigh before raising a brow, an amused lilt to your voice. "and why have you kept this a secret?" 

satoru's trademark smirk appears, and he walks over to sling an arm around your shoulders. "who knows?" he quips nonchalantly. "guess i was waiting until we were bored. we need something to do now, don't we?" 

you glance at the packed boxes on your bed, and then look around your empty room. everything is always changing, but satoru is constant. 

"i guess so," you grin. his eyes shine, and for a second you see a familiar teenager at the beach, and then a familiar teenager under an old tree. you think you hear waves, and the crinkling of a bag of chips. 

"good," he chirps, walking you to the door, the arm around your shoulder secure. "his name's megumi, and we're gonna make sure he gets strong."

xiv. idyll

it takes you a little over four months to get used to megumi's eyes. they aren't unsettling or invading, like a certain snowy haired sorcerer, but they do give you chills when you first notice them. chills and a fleeting feeling of metal slicing up and down through your flesh. you just have to steady your breathing and remind yourself that the son is not the father.

tsumiki is an angel. you didn't think that kids that age could be so emotionally competent, but she's a pleasant surprise. she had been awfully protective over megumi, fidgeting with a firm hand on his shoulder as you and satoru invaded their space and upturned their lives. even after they had settled into the humble apartment satoru had purchased, tsumiki was still so overly cautious. it was obvious she still didn't trust either of you, but you thought it was admirable of her, and you relay this thought to satoru one day.

"think they hate us?" he asks, squishing his cheeks between his lithe fingers as he eyes the different milk cartons over the rims of his glasses.

"i'm pretty sure they just don't trust us that much," you reply, placing a few packs of instant ramen into the cart. "can you blame them? we're just random strangers who came up and basically kidnapped them."

"i'd like to say adopted!" he points out with a grin, before he sighs. "but we've already proved we're just doing this to help them. but they still barely talk at all."

"they're just being careful. megumi's still a little young and he looks like he doesn't give a shit about most stuff anyway," you chuckle as you remember the expression on the first grader's face as he spoke to your cocky friend. "and tsumiki's being cautious for both of them."

"she doesn't need to be cautious of us!" satoru dramatically whines, pulling out a carton of whole milk and placing it into the cart. you shiver as the cold air hits your skin, eyeing the sorcerer with an exasperated smile. he shuts the door with a huff. "i've been such a good dad!"

you roll your eyes, shoving his arm as he starts pushing the cart down the aisle. "she definitely should be cautious of you, you creep."

satoru looks down over his shoulder, appalled, though his eyes sparkle with mirth. "and why do you say that?"

"have you seen yourself? crazy 19 year old man that kidnaps kids," you mutter somewhat sarcastically, falling into step with him like it's normal. satoru grins at that—amused.

"i think it's pretty cool of her to be that responsible though," you continue, voice going softer as you think about them, and satoru hums in what you think might be agreement. you suddenly grab his arm, stopping him in his tracks and he turns to look at you.

"you think we should get another carton of milk?" you question, tilting your head at him. "megumi's been drinking it every day after he comes back from school and tsumiki said she wanted to try making milkshakes."

satoru blinks at you, eyes widening before an amused chuckle escapes his lips. you're about to ask what is so funny but he gestures back down the aisle. "go get some."

he waits for you as you go grab another carton, leaning against the cart easily. when you make it back and place the extra milk in the cart, satoru slings an arm around your shoulders. you raise a brow, but he just continues to push the cart with his free hand and says nothing.

so you don't say anything either.

the two of you continue shopping, trying to remember the things you've noticed the kids enjoying because you know they'll be too uncomfortable to outrightly request them. for every sweet snack satoru puts into the cart, you add something that can pass as somewhat healthy, and he hides a teasing grin behind his fist each time.

when you're almost done, satoru motions to the shelves of snacks, raising a brow at you. "what do you need, hotshot?"

you look up from where you're analyzing the contents of the cart. "hm? oh i don't wanna buy anything for myself. i'm good with the stuff i have back at the dorm."

"great," he shrugs with a subtle shake of his head. "except you're not buying anything this time, i am. so pick something."

"what?" you frown, walking over to him. "we're supposed to split groceries for the kids."

"we can split next time." satoru rolls his eyes at you, as though annoyed by your insistence. "i just got paid yesterday and i wanna waste money. pick something."

you groan. "but there really isn't anything i want. if you're gonna pay yourself then let's just go. i think this is good enough."

satoru looks unamused, his eyes boring into yours—bright, dominating, mesmerizing. "oh really? nothing you want?"

you stare at him in confusion as he walks over to the frozen section and opens the door. after a few seconds of rummaging, he pulls out a box. "not even this?"

your shoulders drop. he's holding a tub of strawberry ice cream.

he casually places it into the cart, eyes trained on your expression as he bends down. "it's your favorite, isn't it?"

your voice comes out throaty, and you wet your lips nervously—his eyes follow the movement at lightning speed. "how'd you know?"

satoru scoffs out a haughty chuckle, reaching up to knock a knuckle at your forehead—it's cold. "i know everything about you, hotshot."

he moves to grip at the cart's handle, standing close enough that you can feel the energy radiating off of him. the side of his hand touches yours, still cold. "now we can go."

he sticks by your side, pushing the cart towards the counters as he casually looks around the store. you briefly realize that his shadow doesn't cover you when you're at his side like this. the thought both scares you and pleases you in a way you didn't think was possible.

"thanks toru," you mumble before you can stop yourself. his gives you a sidelong glance—assessing.

his lips twitch. "it's just ice cream."

"no, it's a lot more than that." you're not really sure why you say it so tragically, and satoru inhales sharply. you notice that his knuckles have turned white as he grips the cart's handles. once again, his eyes dart rapidly over your face—between your eyes and then further down.

then he lets out a hushed laugh, nudging your shoulder with his. "as long as you share with me, hotshot."

everything is always changing, but satoru is constant.

you can't help but smile. "always."

you two don't say much as you head to the counter, taking turns placing all the items on the belt. you quietly watch satoru dig into his wallet, feeling oddly content doing so. you think the stars in your eyes will never disappear.

the clerk eyes you both, and suppresses a fond grin. with your close proximity, shared cart, and satoru's easy going smile, you realize that she's probably misunderstanding, but you don't really know how to correct her. satoru says nothing—he just continues smiling, oddly pleased.

he smiles all the way to the car. you catch yourself doing the same in the rear view mirror.

xv. retribution

the first thing you notice when you kneel in front of suguru is that he's bleeding all over the place. you have the strongest urge to scramble and grip his fingers tightly, just as he had done for you so many years ago—but you don't dare. you're too scared that touching him will ruin you completely.

he says your name quietly, and yet it's the loudest thing in the universe to you—crashing over your ears until you've lost all sense of self.

and then he leans forward, his gaze heavy, and his hand comes up to tangle in your hair. his palm rests on the side of your face just like it did when he visited you at your family home. the last time you saw your geto suguru.

except this time he moves further—crosses a line. presses his lips to yours.

he tastes like blood. you don't pull away.

the feeling of his lips shocks you though, and you stay permanently frozen in place as you feel your eyes glaze over with something you can't put into words.

suguru kisses you slowly, deeply, like he's been waiting but wants to savor it. maybe you've been waiting too. you're not sure. you're so confused.

you don't even process the way his tongue slips past your lips, tasting almost eagerly like your mouth is some kind of conquest he's trying to claim.

it's intrusive, but not unwelcome. slow, but not gentle.

you whimper quietly, feeling acid sting down your cheek as he pulls away and his eyes flutter open. he takes in your expression, and a million emotions pass over his face.

a quiet chuckle. "that bad, huh?"

you shake yourself out of it and try to push away the flush creeping up your neck. "w-what?"

"you're crying," he announces, his furrowed eyebrows paired with a sweet smile that makes him look so unbelievably tragic. "the kiss was that bad?"

your face burns, and you raise a shaking hand up to your cheek—it's wet.

"it wasn't—i didn't—" you struggle. "i mean—"

he smiles ruefully. "i'm sorry. you were saving it for someone special, right?"

there's a charged silence that follows as you scour your brain for the conversation he's referencing. when you find it, your heart sinks.

"you've always been special to me, suguru." your voice comes out quiet, but he hears it all the same. his eyes widen fractionally and you can see a light pink dust his cheeks before he laughs. it's soft, hushed, and looks like it's painful, but he lets it run its course.

it reminds you of a laugh from so long ago, at a beach, with childish screams echoing against the sound of waves. you think you can feel strawberry ice cream dripping down your wrist.

his laughs die down and he's left smiling softly at you. his lavender eyes sparkle with mirth as he tilts his head. "i'm glad. that you were the one i gave a room to."

you can hear waves in your ears, crashing crashing drowning. sand is in your hands, in between your toes, in your eyes.

he coughs, and his palm shakes against your cheek. you wonder why he doesn't just let go already dammit suguru.

you inhale sharply, trying so hard to breathe because what is that stupid thing that's clogging your throat and preventing you from speaking? there's so much you have to say to him. so many questions. so many things left unsaid. your words are failing you.

but silence with suguru has never once been uncomfortable, right?

you raise a shaky hand to press against his where it lays against your neck. "do you regret it?"

he licks his lips, smiling faintly, as though he's enjoying the new taste of you on them. "no."

"why not?" you whisper. your body unconsciously shuffles closer to him, chasing his warmth because gods is he warm. he's always been so warm, even now, in the throes of death.

"my feelings are still the same. i still hate the monkeys for everything they've done, all the crap they cause." he shuts his eyes, smiling that serene smile. you wish he was leaning against a tree trunk. "i still have no resentment to those at jujutsu tech. and you, i still…"

he doesn't continue. you don't think you want him to. there's a flush crawling up his neck, the faint pink a stark contrast to the red of blood. it makes you nauseous.

another deep inhale, and his thumb slides over your jawbone, before brushing under your bottom lip. he stares at the flesh heavily, letting his finger press into it. his tongue swipes over his own lips, eyes darkening further.

and then something shifts in his face, and he smiles mirthlessly. his hand drops from your face—broken contact.

he doesn't tear his gaze away from you, committing your face to memory. it's almost like he wants to say something, but decides against it at the last minute as he slumps further into the wall behind him and shuts his eyes.

when he speaks again, you know that it is all over.

"you're late, satoru."

[literaryavenger]

New Year's Eve

Summary: A game of two truths and a lie reveals to the team a fact about the you that Bucky can’t seem to stop thinking about.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Female Reader

Warnings: Minimal use of Y/N. Language 'cause why not. A lot of fluff. My poor attempts at being funny. Mutual pining, idiots in love. Self-deprecating thoughts.

Word Count: 3.2K

A/N: Happy New Year's Eve! Thanks for all the messages when I was sick, I'm finally feeling better and I'm negative for Covid! I really wanted to post something for New Year's Eve and this came from a fever dream I had when I was sick, lol. I hope it's any good and someone enjoys it! A particular thank you to @ordelixx for helping me with this story!💘I've only started posting here about a month and a half but I'm really enjoying it and feeling more and more comfortable in my writing. I hope I'm also getting better at it. Anyway, I have big plans for the New Year that I hope you'll enjoy! This year hasn't been great for me, but I'm planning on working harder than ever to make sure the next one is a year I can be proud of. I hope you guys have a nice last day of 2023 and an amazing start of 2024! Love you all.💘

Masterlist

“Ok, your turn, Kill Bill. Two truths and a lie, go.” Tony says, referring to the fact that you fight with swords, making you roll your eyes before you join in on the laughter.

“Ok, uhm...” you try not to look at anyone so you don’t give away the answer “I have a teddy bear that I sleep with, I have bungee jumped from the top of the tower and I’ve never had a New Year’s kiss.”

You look back up to the room and wait for their guesses.

It’s a Friday night and the people that remained in the Tower for the holidays decided to have a little game night.

Every year the same people stay around, having nowhere in particular to go, and spend Christmas together. 

Clint and Scott usually spend this time with their families, this year Thor decided to go to New Asgard with Bruce and Loki to visit Val and Korg, and Peter decided to spend it with aunt May and Happy.

You usually alternate between going to visit your family and staying in the tower each year, and this one was your turn to go to your first home.

You came back the day after Christmas, never being one to miss Tony’s New Year’s Eve party that’s gonna happen in two days now.

“Well, we know she has a teddy bear.” Wanda says.

“Do we know that?” Tony turns to you, narrowing his eyes. “Do you have one?”

“Yes, she does, we’ve seen it” Natasha answers for you while you glance at Bucky, praying he doesn’t put together that they’re talking about the teddy bear he gifted you for Valentine’s Day this year along with flowers. 

Natasha and Wanda were more happy than you when you told them, sustaining that he did it because he liked you until you pointed out that he gave flowers to them too, because he’s sweet and a gentleman and that’s just who he is.

They wouldn’t let up on the fact that neither of them got a teddy bear though, and you would have agreed with them but Bucky never really did anything else about it so you decided to let it go and not read too much into it.

You're brought back to the present by Tony.

“Ok, so she has one. Then it’s gotta be the New Year’s kiss, everyone has had one at least once in their life,” he was looking at your reaction very closely while talking, but you did your best to keep an easy smile and not give anything away.

“Even Captain Virgin over there had one last year.” he adds vaguely waving towards Steve’s general direction. 

You crack at the nickname and at the undignified sound Steve made while blushing and glancing at Nat that shared that kiss with him.

“Tony, there’s no way that she bungee jumped from the roof without us knowing, that’s gotta be the lie.” Sam interjects, also watching you closely for any signs of a reaction that you manage not to give.

“Alright, just take your guesses, people.” You say to the group.

“New Year’s Kiss.” Tony all but yelled, Natasha and Wanda agreeing with him.

“Bungee jump.” Sam says and Steve and Bucky agree, then they all seem to hold their breath as they wait for your answer.

It’s not a surprise that even these stupid little games cause a lot of competition amongst the team.

“Neither.”-you finally said and let out a laugh when they all groan in annoyance while taking their shots for guessing wrong.

“WAIT- you bungee jumped off the ROOF? When?!” Steve seems more concerned than anything.

“Well, you know a few months ago when we happened to all be on different missions at the same time?” They nod, not knowing where you're going with this “Clint and I came back first from ours, we were bored and there was no one around to stop us from doing anything stupid so…” you trail off, shrugging while laughing. 

Steve looks shocked, Sam is laughing his ass off while Tony immediately goes to look for the security footage.

They all cheered while watching you throw yourself off the roof, Clint's yells and laughter could be heard, and then Steve shakes his head while joining you in the laughter when you see Clint take his turn and scream like a little girl while you fall to the ground laughing on the video. 

Once you all composed yourselves, Tony pokes Wanda’s arm “I thought you said she had a teddy bear.” he's looking at her like she brought him on a treasure hunt and then betrayed him and left him for dead on a deserted island.

“She does! She got it from-” you interrupt her before she can finish the sentence, blushing a little and avoiding Bucky’s eyes.

“I do have a teddy bear, I just don’t sleep with it.” you say, shrugging.

“Oh, come on, that’s cheating!” Natasha whines.

“It’s really not, just because I do have one it doesn’t mean I didn’t tell a lie about it” you laugh at her pout.

“Wait a minute, so you’ve never had a New Year’s kiss?” Tony looks at you like you suddenly grew two heads.

“It’s not a big deal. Funny thing is, I have had boyfriends during New Year’s Eve, I just never happen to spend the day with them.” you say absentmindedly while thinking back at all the parties you’ve been to over the years to celebrate the new year.

“Really?” it's so quiet you almost missed it, your eyes snapping up to meet Bucky’s that were already looking at you.

“Is that so hard to believe?” The room seems to go quiet as everybody looks at you two, but you're too focused on each other to notice.

“I didn’t- I mean…” his cheeks started to turn a little pink as he seemed to have trouble finishing his sentence “It’s just you’re very pretty, who wouldn’t want to kiss you?”

You didn’t know what to say to that, you start blushing too while opening and closing your mouth a couple of times, looking like a damn fish.

You settle for a quiet ‘thank you’ with a smile that he shyly returns, neither of you noticing the glances passed by everyone else.

The whole team is convinced that there’s something between you and Bucky, but both of you always deny it and don’t seem to read too much into each other’s actions, always dismissing the glances and lingering touches as friendly affection even though you’re not really that close.

But really what else could it be?

The team lets the moment end and the game goes on, everyone keeps drinking and having fun until it gets really late and you all decide to call it a night.

Bucky goes to his bedroom and gets ready for sleep but he can’t seem to focus on anything else but you.

He really doesn’t understand how can anybody see your pretty self when you’ve just woken up, no makeup and your eyes full of sleep and not want to kiss you, let alone when you are all dolled up in a pretty golden dresses like you do every New Year’s. 

Every year it gets harder for him not to just grab you and kiss you, hell every day is pretty much torture to see you around the Compound and not get to be with you the way he wants to.

But he has to keep his hands to himself because there’s no way you could actually like him like that. 

He’s even tried to drop hints here and there like giving you the teddy bear for Valentine’s Day but, except for the cute shade of pink that your face turned, you still didn’t seem all that interested.

Still, that didn’t stop him from thinking what it would be like if you did like him and fantasize about being your first New Year’s kiss and maybe even your last first kiss.

At the same time you were in your own room getting ready for bed while your own thoughts kept going back to the moment you shared with Bucky in the living room. 

You didn’t know if you were more embarrassed because you actually told the team you’ve never had a kiss on New Year’s Eve or happy because Bucky called you pretty.

If it was anyone else you wouldn’t even think twice about it, but coming from him it just felt like you were being complimented for the first time ever. 

Everytime you thought about it you felt all warm and fuzzy inside, and at this point the moment was pretty much on loop in your mind.

The more you think about it the more you feel your face heat up, sleep not coming easily as you slip into Bucky filled dreams.

The next day everybody’s hanging out in the living room, most of them nursing a hangover from last night. You get ready for a last minute shopping trip to try and find a new dress for New Year’s Eve.

When you get to the living room you see Steve grinning at a disgruntled Tony, Wanda, Sam and Natasha who are obviously very hangover and nowhere near as amused as the blonde supersoldier. 

Bucky’s attention is on you as soon as you're in his field of vision and no one fails to notice it, except you of course, your own attention on Wanda and Natasha sprawled on the couch.

“Well, I was gonna ask you if you wanted to come shopping with me,” you start watching from one to the other, as amused as Steve at everyone’s inability to contain themselves when drinking. “but I don’t think that’s happening.” 

“Bite me, YLN.” Is all Nat says.

Wanda, on the other hand, is a little gentler. “I can come with you, if you want.” she says sweetly.

“That’s okay, Wands.” you smile at her “just rest and drink lots of water.”

You turn around, saying bye to everyone and making your way out. As soon as the doors of the elevator close, everyone turns to Bucky that's not even pretending not to be staring anymore.

Not that anyone could ignore the longing look on Bucky’s face as he watches you walk away.

“Buck,” Steve starts talking, glancing at everyone before setting his gaze back on his best friend. “we need to talk.”

“Okay…” he slowly drags out, unsure if he even wants Steve to keep going.

“Well, we’ve been noticing some things lately…” He’s unsure of how to say this. “Between you and Y/N.”

Bucky’s cheeks start to turn a slight shade of pink, but he’s still not sure where Steve’s going with this so he says nothing.

“So we thought” he gestures around at everybody. “that maybe we should-”

“We know you like her, and we want to help you get with her.” Tony interrupts Steve, quickly getting to the point.

At Steve’s glare, Tony merely raises his hands in surrender saying, “Listen, Capsicle, I’m way too hungover to take the panoramic route. Let’s just get this over with.”

“Yeah, Stark’s right.” Sam says, turning Bucky whose face is fully red now. “You have a weak ass game, man. Let us help you.”

They all look at the brunette supersoldier while waiting for his answer. He chews on his lip while looking at the expectant faces of his friends, before letting out a deep sigh.

“How would you even help me?” He says quietly, neither accepting nor denying their help just yet.

“Well, we know Y/N,” Wanda says.

“Yeah, we can tell you what turns her on.” Natasha smirked, before Wanda flicks her ear making her let out an ‘ow’ with a slight pout.

“What she means is,” she glares at Natasha “we can tell you what she likes, you know. Maybe help you get closer to her.”

Bucky shakes his head lightly “This is not a good idea. And it doesn’t even matter if she doesn’t like me.”

Wanda and Natasha seem to have a silent conversation, ending with Natasha raising her eyebrow at Wanda and Wanda just sighing with a soft ‘fine’.

“She does like you.” Wanda turns back to Bucky.

“She’s just convinced that you don’t like her like that.” Natasha says with a roll of her eyes.

Bucky still wasn’t completely convinced, but he agreed nonetheless. Maybe it was the glimmer of hope the girls gave him, but if there was even the slightest chance you could actually like him, he owed it to himself to try. 

So he let the team make a plan to get you guys together, hoping to god he wouldn’t come to regret it.

You come home a few hours later, super excited to have found the perfect dress for the party the next night.

Bucky thought you were just so cute, all smiles and giggles.

Wanda and Nat talked you into having the last girls night of the year, although it didn’t really take much convincing.

And so the plan begins.

You’re relaxing on your bed, Wanda lying next to you, your head on her lap, and Nat sprawled on the love seat near the window close to your bed.

You’re wearing bathrobes, sheet masks on your faces as you watch a cheesy romcom that you’re so embarrassingly into you don’t even notice the girls exchange a look and nod at each other.

Wanda clears her throat and then begins talking, as casually as she can. “So, how come you never told us you never had a New Year’s kiss?”

They had to approach the subject somehow, right?

“I don’t know,” you say absentmindedly and then shrug, your attention still on the Tv. “didn’t think it was important.” 

“Sure it isn’t.” Nat said, and her tone took your attention away from the movie for the first time since it started.

“What’s that supposed to mean, Tasha?” she simply shrugs, an innocent look in the face.

“It doesn’t mean anything” she says, her attention seemingly on the movie “I mean, if it doesn’t bother you, it doesn’t bother me.”

“Why would it bother me?” you frown, you don't understand what's so weird about this.

“Well, some people might find it a little…” Wanda trails off.

“Sad?” Natasha ends for her.

“It’s not like I’ve never kissed anyone.” you're starting to get a little defensive.

“We know that, sweetie.” Wanda coos, stroking your hair while you look up at her.

“We really didn’t mean anything by it.” Natasha ends, giving you an apologetic look.

“Yeah, whatever.” is all you say, and you turn your eyes back to the tv, your attention nowhere near it.

Natasha and Wanda can basically hear the gears turn in your head and give each other one last glance. 

Part one of the plan is complete.

The next day goes through like usual, the team spending basically the whole morning together.

It’s a tradition, having the last breakfast of the year together, watching the last movie, having the last lunch and so on. Doing all the lasts together.

It’s silly, but it’s a tradition you've all come to be very fond of. 

The afternoon comes and you and the girls spend it getting ready for the party, last night’s conversation almost forgotten.

Almost.

As you got to the party the music was deafening before you even stepped out of the elevator and, once you did, you were immediately immersed in a sea of perfume and cologne and, like every other Stark party extravaganza, you didn’t know about 98% of the people there. 

You quickly find the team, as outgoing as most of them are, you usually spend most of the night together because it’s the last night of the year, last party and, again, it's your tradition.

You talk, you joke, you laugh but the more you drink the more you keep thinking about your conversation with the girls last night.

Was it really that sad that you’ve never started a new year with a kiss?

Midnight came sooner than you would’ve liked and your teammates decide to ask you a sobering question.

“So, who are you kissing?” Tony asks very casually.

You turn around confused, the team’s eyes all on you. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, nobody told you?” Sam says, looking around him “We’re all kissing someone tonight.”

“I- You- What?” you glance towards Bucky so quickly he almost thought he imagined it.

“Well, Romanoff is kissing Rogers, I’m obviously kissing Pepper and Wanda is kissing Wilson.” Tony said, before specifying while pointing at the last two “As friends, obviously.”

“So, you’re all kissing someone?” You look at everyone except the one person you actually want to look at.

Something inside of you just believes that he would nod too and a beautiful woman that you could never compare to would appear at his side.

“Well,” Steve starts. “not all of us…”

He trails off and, following his gaze, you land on the very pair of blue eyes you were trying to avoid.

Suddenly everyone else scatters and it was just you and Bucky. You don't know what to say, but you feel like you can't look away from him now.

What the hell is happening to you?

You’re talking before you can even stop yourself “You know, we could also kiss. As friends.” you add, realizing what you just said, your eyes wide with your own surprise.

He’s about to say something, but you don’t give him a chance to get a sound out before you’re backtracking so fast you might actually fall out the window.

“You don’t have to. Obviously. It’s not like I’d make you.” you chuckled awkwardly, but you can’t stop yourself from rambling “Unless you wanted to. But why would you want to? It’s not like you’re missing anything. I’m not anything special.”

You can hear the countdown starting, but it sounds distant to your ears as your heart pounds faster. “I mean, I’m sure you’re a good kisser. Why wouldn’t you be? Not that you’re like a lady’s man.”

Bucky glances around him, the team giving him encouraging looks as they near zero and you just keep going “But like you were, you know. Not that it’s a bad thi-”

You're thankfully interrupted abruptly by Bucky’s lips on yours just as everyone yells ‘Happy New Year’ and gold and black confetti starts falling down on you.

You can't even begin to comprehend what's happening but your body does, kissing him back almost immediately.

It feels like forever and also too soon when he pulls away, you can't even hearing the chaos around you anymore.

All that exists is you and Bucky and his eyes and his arms around your waist and yours around his neck and his lips that you wanted to kiss again and kiss forever and never stop.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that” he says after a few seconds. Or maybe days. Weeks? Hours? It doesn’t matter.

All that matters is the bright smile he gives you when you say “Me too.”

He kisses you again, but this time the spell is broken by the team’s whistles and cheers. 

When you pull away you’re both blushing a little, you glance around you and see all the smug faces of the idiots you love to death, Bucky’s attention never leaving you.

“And by the way,” Bucky says, gaining your attention once more. “you have more qualities than you think,” he then pointed at your chest “You have this.”

You looked down to where he was pointing before saying “I do have great tits, yes.”

When you looked back at him he was blushing even harder and looked like he was having a hard time maintaining eye contact, while you were more relaxed now that the kiss took away all the awkwardness, but trying hard not to laugh. 

“... I meant heart” he said after a few moments of silence.

“Either or.” you answered, shrugging and when you heard the snickers of the team around you, you couldn’t help but join them, followed by a still blushing Bucky.

Yep, this year is definitely gonna be an interesting one.

[starry-bi-sky]

Stillborn? No, still born au -- Dani Phantom! Clone girl herself. :]

She can't exist in this au. And it's not that I don't want to add her -- although I'll be blunt, I don't, I'll be the first to admit that I think she's more often than not nothing more than a narrative deadweight used to prop up Danny and I don't like adding characters as props -- but her existence quite literally goes against and muddies the Vlad and Danny dynamic I have for this au. Ellie's existence in canon itself states that she was created -- and Danny's other clones too -- because Vlad gave up on trying to convert him to his side and decided to just make a son instead.

Something that just, doesn't happen in the stillborn-still born au. See, for folks who are only just hearing about this au or didn't see my post about Vlad in this au, he and Danny have a complicated love-hate relationship where they mutually want to adopt each other, but their morals and way of doing things -- mainly Vlad's insistence on getting revenge against the Fentons -- gets in the way of them being able to do that in full.

Vlad knows Danny wants him to adopt him, and is only fighting him on it because he refuses to let Vlad kill the Fentons for essentially killing the both of them. He's succeed in 50% of his goal. Canon Vlad never even made it to 1%. With that in mind, stillborn Vlad has no reason and sees no reason to clone Danny, he has his son. He just needs to convince him to let him avenge them both.

Dani simply has no place in the stillborn-still born au. And in fact, if Vlad did decide to clone Danny -- for whatever reason, -- it would damage his relationship with Danny damn near beyond repair. That's because Danny would view it the same way he views Damian's existence; as a replacement for himself. He would become beyond furious and hurt, and not for the typical 'I can't believe you cloned me, you creep!' reason, but for a 'I can't believe you cloned me, you said I was your son!' reason.

I am not pulling any punches here when I say Danny wants Vlad to be his dad just as much as Vlad wants Danny to be his son, there's just a lot of factors getting in the way. They are, as the french say, ✨mentally unwell.✨ Danny has a ton of abandonment and trust issues due to his experiences in foster care. He would immediately become jealous, insecure, and incredibly furious and hurt. He'd despise her on principal and want nothing to do with her, or Vlad for that matter. He'd just fucking haaate her. It's not her fault she was made but Danny doesn't really care, he's lashing out and pushing people away because he's been betrayed yet again.

The only way they could get along or for Danny to actually like her in any capacity would be if it was his idea to clone himself. Which is like, kinda obvious but considering most clone plots tend to be non-consensual it's kinda gotta be said. He has to have a hand in creating her, that's the only way I can see him liking her in any way. Or if someone other than Vlad created her. If Vlad clones him though, all bets are off the table and he'll despise her.

TL;DR: Dani can't exist in this au because she goes against the narrative I've got for the two most fucked up half-dead could-be-father-son duo in existence, but if she did exist Danny would despise her.

[georgiapeach30513]

Just because it's Friday and I think it may help with a few reminders in case your inbox starts to get flooded with the same old bs since a movie is releasing today:

R1 was filmed two years ago. It was supposed to be released at the end of last year but got delayed. The movie is now releasing this weekend so of course there will be tons of promotion because I'm sure the Rock and his crew spent a hefty amount on marketing and PR for this film. Chris is second billing so he's going to help with promoting the film and if that includes some other fluff pieces, then so be it. And People magazine loves to write fluff posts.

The movie was filmed TWO years ago. Chris has long moved on from this film, despite whatever reception it may get, and people may want to remember that. He is apparently already back to work on his most recent project, and he's already filmed two other projects this year. Nobody knows when these films plan to release or how they will release, but I expect it'll happen in the next few months or year.

Chris has had some recent misfires and from what I can see, it feels like some decisions were rushed due to the pandemic and also perhaps some business decisions made on the backend (get some bigger paychecks, then cushion your way to doing some smaller indie films). The way his last three projects appear to be much smaller in budget and scale, I think this is a safe bet that's what happened.

If your intention is to go looking for confirmation bias, that's what you're going to get. Searching for bad reviews and justifying it as a reason to be mad or upset, of course you're going to revel in misery loves company.

It looks like Chris did a great job in this otherwise lackluster movie and he has a lot of charm and charisma, but him carrying the film on his back isn't much if he's the only one doing the lifting. JK Simmons actually did lift heavy weights but he got wasted in this film because of his role being the "kidnapped Santa." So I wouldn't harp too much on that.

General audiences and critics are disappointed Chris's post MCU career hasn't been super exciting, but most agree they think he deserves better and wants better for him. Perhaps it's a testament the legacy he left in his most famous role, that has people just rooting for him regardless. Let's see what he does next. I think he's slowly carving a new path as we speak.

Lastly: Remember that in the world of public relations, marketing, and entertainment, agenda is always underlying. That being said, sometimes less famous and less influential people latch onto the more influential and famous in order to get a leg up. This usually happens when someone either doesn't have the ability themselves, or there's a bigger and more strategic story behind everything or there's transactional mutual benefits. Why do actresses like Sydney Sweeney and Florence Pugh seem to be able to go so far on their own, while others like Jordan Hudson (aka Bill Belichick's new gf) or every one of Leo D's gfs of the last decade seem to pop up on scene leveraging their relationships to get attention? Well...think about it. For example, Jordan is a former collegiate cheerleader that is now dating a famous ex head NFL coach. She's getting a lot of press right now due to this relationship and she was papped showing up to cheerleading practice recently in a Porsche. I'll just leave you with that. (And no, I don't think it's just because Bill is suddenly going through his mid-life crisis when he's 70 years old.)

You know what, anon? I’m not going to add anymore to this post. You’ve said it all.

I will say, I’m going in a few hours to watch the movie. Got a snack box made for us, and I’ll see what it has to offer. People who think that a Christmas movie with Dwayne is going to anything more than fun, high octane, and goofy are fooling themselves.

And let’s be honest, most people haven’t checked out a ton of Chris’ movies outside of Knives Out and Marvel anyways. They want him to do more unique roles, and he has, but they don’t watch 🙄 he’s creating the career he wants.

[riririnnnn]

Aftermath of NEL/BM Vs PxG:

Isagi is the protagonist, so I'll be focusing on him.

From the start, the main main rival in NEL for Isagi has been Kaiser, and there have been instances where the latter had accepted that Isagi got him good. In fact, in the chapter 239, he was genuinely tweaking:

You see my boy in the top left? Yeah, even Ness was taken aback.

Also, while we are at it, can we give a glance to this panel:

Ness, indeed, calls everything disgusting, but the last line, "The Magic of Yoichi's football...!?"

Hello???????????????

How did we ignore that, huh?

I understand that it doesn't seem like much but if we were to take in account of his backstory, then we can say that, that IS a big statement coming out of Ness' mouth.

So, is this like a slow/indirect build-up to a moment in the BM Vs PxG where Ness assists Isagi instead of Kaiser?

BUT

That's where things becomes low-key difficult for me to digest.

You see, if Isagi were to INDEED surpass/defeat Kaiser, then what?

No, I'm not trying to pick up a fight, I'm genuinely asking what will happen after that? Will Kaiser become a disposable rival or something like Kira Ryosuke?

But you know, the above thing seems a bit farfetched. I understand that Kira disappearing like that seemed farfetched too, but Kaiser as a character has too much depth to just be thrown away.

That's why, I think that Isagi MIGHT surpass Kaiser but only superficially.

That's that, and now we have this grumpy fella:

Rin has been Isagi's rival ever since the beginning of second selection and the thing low-key became officially mutual when Sae praised Isagi after the U-20 match.

However, Isagi's Blue Lock rank is canonically 2 now and Rin's rank is 1. So if Isagi were to truly defeat Rin, then he will became number 1 and that's like the endgame for Blue Lock you know— protagonist reached the highest point. I understand that the main goal is to win the World Cup, but still.. you getting me, right?

BUT

Amidst everything, why are we forgetting this miracle boy:

What if he pulls up some Prodigy shit during the Barcha match and gets into Top 3?

Further, with Kunigami Vs Shidou, what makes you think that these two wouldn't get into Top 5 too?

I think that Isagi wouldn't be number 1 yet. He'll probably share the rank or maybe that his auction value will increase for sure but he'll get his rank lowered/shared. It makes sense because there have been many moments where Isagi was humbled and didn't get the victory he wanted at once.

But.

(screeches)

BUT

We can't forget the above panel.

Something fiery is being cooked up.

Every type of theory that has been made about World Cup arc/Post-NEL arc takes in the facts from whatever we know about REAL life U-20 World Cup.

So if something entirely else is going to happen in the BLLK universe, then I don't know what more can happen.

To sum it up, I think this MIGHT happen:

Rin gets an offer from Royale Madrid/Re Al and will maintain his ranking of 1.

Isagi gets an offer with higher salary than his current but it'll not affect his ranking.

Nagi pulls up his shit and becomes L(egend).

Top 5/Top 10 will have more than one shared ranking.

Shidou and Kunigami gets banger offers too.

And about the match:

Kaiser will score a goal.

Kunigami too and Shidou will give him some kind of acknowledgement.

IGA-DA-GOAT-GURI will clutch and gives BM a free kick by making someone from PxG do a foul.

Kiyora will either assist or will score himself.

Isagi might score a goal too.

Yukimiya might assist.

Raichi defends against Loki.

Goatmaru slays.

Charles Vs Hiori.

Feel free to add yours!

.

.

.

Charles might throw a tantrum if PxG loses. Idk why he gives off a BIG bratty prankster vibes.

[yuseirra]

Can you make a comic where hikaru and ai are having romantic physical touch, like kissing or cuddling???

I actually never seen hikaru and ai being romantically together, I always love your doodle and theory about hikaai❣️❣️❣️❣️

I hope you never stop 💖💖💖💖🥰🥰🥰

Hello~~~ heheheh.. I.. I was really surprised when I found this in my inbox today as I had my eyes open at 3am in the morning. What a coincidence because I ACTUALLY GAVE THIS AN ATTEMPT. JUST RIGHT BEFORE I READ THIS ASK. What timing, wow!! this was going to be left in my notes forever because I-...'d have been too shy to post it publicly but yeah it's dawn and I'm half-awake and dazed and all, I'm going to drop it here and slide back into the abyss

(yeah please do listen to Ruler Of My Heart btw I even translated the lyrics for you guys...it's in the link!! Imagine it's them singing them together lol. i listened to that as I drew this earlier)

I picture it's Ai who's made all the big advances, I mean that's exactly what's happened in the work. She initiated things. I think Hikaru'd have treated her very carefully considering how sweet he used to be.

To add, at this point I'm pretty sure these guys are at least inspired from Amenouzume and Sarutakhiko, they share too many similarities with those gods; and if that's the case, then even this is pretty accurate towards the legend and the gods because Amenouzume is the one who approached and got her man to love her, legends state SHE flirted w him and they just.. get married right after that. He just took a liking to her immediately... Even better, she literally got the perfect guy being the adorable and precious goddess she is, I'm so proud of her!! He governs over so many things and is so powerful (like one of the seven gods who have the title of Okami) but most of all he's virtuous!! He's noble!! Hey if I'M Japanese and and I write stories about the entertainment industry with gods involved there is NO way I don't incorporate this story somewhere?? I'd be so disappointed if it's not going to be mentioned when Amenouzume's already been brought up.

The reply got really long because I got overboard about this ship again, I'll put a read more ;)

If you've ever seen me throughout all these years, I draw tons of cuddles and fluff but I NEVER draw anything more than a cheek kiss, ever because I get embarrassed to bits. But with these guys...UGH let me justify myself, things look really bad rn but they ACTUALLY CANNOT GET ANY MORE MUTUAL IN CANON...

One of them states they were only alive when they had the other and that they loved her from the bottom of their heart and the other says they wanted to live with the other forever and confesses they were the first one they ever wanted to love, even while they didn't fully understand what love is!!! How strong IS THAT??

I care so much about canon, as soon as those dropped I just, there is no way I can't unsee that. It's just there. Furthermore, they already have two kids between them!!! They did all the things a couple would do, wouldn't they have??? I'm sure with all the positive comments they've made about each other, I can just go on and on.

What I can infer is, if there is someone who can make Ai drop those from her mouth out of her heart.. they're definitely the one who's made her really happy. She can't get more loving than that..he managed to do it, so I see him being so precious to her, he's worth everything to her you know? She went through so much for Kamiki's sake and yet she's so warm towards him I just can't!!! That's what got me because I could already see HE would have "loved" Ai a lot may it be twisted or not. Ai is smart. She's so serious about love too. Then what they had must have been so genuine. He couldn't have hurt her or made her suffer, that's not how it works.

The way I see it, he actually used to be the really gentle and timid type(this is what really gets me; he was so kind!!;), and he totally shifted upon having lost her. HE USED TO BE SO SOFT!!; and he still kinda is. I can see how he'd have been really nice in the past, it sort of does still seep through his behavior. He's just totally broken. This guy, I'm pretty sure he devoted himself to a cause related to Ai's life after she'd been gone...his life after her death is just him struggling to do something related to her, he's written that way and that's how he broke. How did he- what happened?? I just; he's broken so bad!!; Well.

Back to you, @jusmingamba :) I'm someone who's nuts over keeping close to canon,

if canon doesn't disappoint me, I can keep going... 'v')9 Thanks for the support! I don't want to stop either, I hope the MANGA doesn't make me feel that way, it's been so rough.. I knew it was going to be a tough road ;v; BUT GOSH. It's been so bumpy and tense and everything, I keep saying this over and over, but just what kind of guy did Ai love/?? The thing is, I see many good things about him but???;;; they make him appear as if he's so evil too so. I hope that's intentional. He has/had all the potential to be this really interesting and complex character, I hope they use it. I CAN. I WOULD. I CAN DO IT. SO I can't picture the artists not doing it themselves.. it'd be such a waste!!

If anything, they have to come back to them at least once before the manga ends because I cannot see Ai's wish being disregarded. That was an important plot point and I just DON'T see the plot being that cruel to her. They've been so cruel to Hikaru, geez.. but if he's someone she loved so much, I hope what she wanted does come through one way or the other, that's the only way I see this being a "fulfilling" story in the end.

I lost sleep.. I'm going to be so tired today and also pretty embarrassed from posting this but I regret nothing!! You're welcome!! Have a nice day!!!!

[t00thpasteface]

hey sorry i’m sure it’s a little dumb but how did you find a community/make mutuals on here? i swapped from twitter to here last year & haven’t been able to make friends like i did on twitter ;v; sorry if this is all silly but figured it couldn’t hurt to ask. love your art & blog !!!

as i like to say, it's like lifting an anvil: it's very simple, but that doesn't mean it's easy. as someone who's a 12+ year veteran that lurked for a couple years and remade a little while ago, really it all comes down to putting yourself out there!!! don't just sit around twiddling your thumbs and lurking. it's tough to do it without coming off as a pandering tryhard, but honestly as long as you're polite, upbeat, and posting regularly, then you're golden.

if you want a big list of wordy bullet points, here's what i've got, and i think you'll find it's pretty applicable to basically any site/community you want to get involved in:

post a lot. this is number one with a fucking bullet! POST! POST LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT. but crucially...

post GOOD STUFF. don't bash yourself in the caption/tags, don't say "sorry this is shit" or whatever, don't self-deprecate, and don't admit to posting low-effort stuff just to hit a quota. imagine it's open mic night and go crazy. this is a good site to use like a journal and a scrapbook, but if you want to actually get some traction, you need to bring something interesting to the table. of course, just being funny and nice goes a very long way.

encourage audience feedback. people LOVE to tell you about themselves and give their opinions. get them responding and make the questions and calls for engagement so interesting or fun they can't help themselves.

tag effectively. use both fandom/content tags for searches, and organizational tags for your visitors' use. the tagging system is tumblr's bread and butter, so make it work for you.

follow a lot of blogs you like. then see who they follow, and add those to the list. build a good circle of engagement and keep your finger on the pulse of the site culture for whatever niche(s) you're in... or want to get in.

reblog a lot and be funny/kind in the tags. generally leaving a lot of comments/replies to post is kind of hit-or-miss, but tags are a good harmless "inside voice" to use that doesn't clutter the post itself and yet still engages with op and people seeing the post

engage with people when they ask for engagement. things like polls, ask games, etc... scratch people's backs and they'll scratch yours. and it's just a nice thing to do regardless :)

panhandling is not always the best route. people will balk if you look desperate or openly beg for engagement, like directly asking people to reblog something or being passive-aggressive about how much engagement you are/aren't getting on something. a genuine joke about it is fun and relatable, but snarky comments just kill the vibe and scare people off.

REMEMBER THERE'S NO ALGORITHM. lurking will not put you or any of the stuff you like out there!! REBLOG POSTS! SEND ASKS! this site will NOT SPOON FEED YOU ANYTHING. like taming a wild stallion, you can make this work for you, but you have to put in the effort first.

some people will think you're annoying, and that's okay. probably not very many, but they'll be loud. this is an unavoidable part of Being Known. you can be the sweetest peach in the world but there'll still be people who just don't like peaches. don't take it to heart, and if you do happen to drop the ball or rub a few people the wrong way, don't let that keep you from trying again :)

i've enjoyed the many friends i've made on this site in the past decade-and-then-some, even though both this site and my blog are both something of a ship of theseus. here's hoping you can make it work for you and your interests, too!

[hils79]

Hils Watches Only Friends - Ep 10

I don't think you get to judge given the way you've been acting over the past few weeks

Yeah, that's what most addicts say

Well you'll still be alive for a start

Wait they kissed??? Was that the night Nick said goodbye to Boston?

Conference room desk sex!

OOH YOU LIAR!! And no one is going to believe Boston because that's exactly the sort of thing he would do

Wait why is Boeing suddenly being a dick and trying to piss Mew off? They seemed friendly when they all had dinner together

Oh no the accidental liking of a post while stalking someone on Instagram

Is he...flirting? Via a mutual love of plants?

None of your fucking business

Of course he's being all sentimental and trying to win Nick back now that Nick has finally moved on.

Do you, though?

Ah, there it is

Wait, is this a test?

Mew is like 'wtf is happening right now'

BRO DON'T DO IT!

Someone finally listened to me!

Oh no did Sand push Ray into going to rehab because Ray's dad paid him to?

Devastating, honestly.

Okay, now I'm crying too

Honestly the whole Boeing thing feels unnecessary. They could have had the last few episodes just be about Mew and Top learning to forgive and trust each other again. They didn't need to add another dude to complicate things

Okay, so I guess it's not a test

Oh, please, it was hardly a kiss. He shoved you away after like 1 second

Look, I know it sucks that your friends all hate you for something you didn't actually do, but you are still kind of an asshole

EVERYONE IS SAD AND I DON'T LIKE IT

Oh no

I mean it's nice that Ray can be honest with himself but Sand isn't actually there he's just imagining it. His rehab therapist is probably used to this happening to her at least.

[shadowfiredemonwolf]

makorra were compatible with each other (korrasami has no real compatibility without korra being ooc

the notion that makorra breaking up in b2 means they could never work is idiotic ( neither of them would have worked with anyone they broke up due to mutual flaws  that led to them breaking up flaws which they overcame by book 4 ( its korra and asami who couldnt work out without korra bieng ooc in the last 2 minutes

makorra is more comparable to kataang ( and mako showed that he could support korra the way she needed it asami didnt

 I have seen people try to go well mako told raiko he did the right thing the notion that he should have just went along with korras plans when the only issue was that he didnt speak up sooner ( which is his problem he holds things in too much till they get to the breaking point  he should have confronted korra much sooner) you can be sympathetic to korras issue and acknowledge that korra was in the wrong trying to take another countrys military away

(mako sees korra the person asami only sees the avatar)

makorra is far more comparable to kataang then zutara ( mako has the same position in krew  he supports korra like katara supported aang , etc and is the talented bender) katara and mako both had some jerk moments and their flaws acknowledged and treated as such  i feel korrasami was only popular because of desire for lgbt rep and the irrational hate for mako so they shipped it to spite and punish mako for daring to have flaws which had led to asami getting hurt when mako didnt do anything that required punishment

 his flaws and mistakes were acknowledged as such bryke already handling his flaws and issues the way they needed to be people over reacted due to asami getting hurt

 sorry but korrasami is more comparable to zutara the popular same sex ship  that was popular despite not having a basis in canon

they had to twist the most minor moments to claim evidence along with piling up headcanons to try and claim a moment its evidence

the claim that korra chose asami to help her  in b3 finale when that has no basis 

and korra only smiled with her father and air babies and bolin when she was in that state

or claiming korra and asami sent each other letters  for years  when there was only one letter  sent

and it doesnt mean korra is closer to asami ( korra sent one letter to vent and put a sense of closeness ( saying that korra sent the letter  to someone she isnt concerned about  makes way more sense)

while mako talked about korra the person asami in remembrances went youre the avatar we need you which was a failure tenzin needed to comein and bring up korra the person and how she grew as a person

while mako supported korra the way she needed to be supported in the episode where they went to confront zaheer ( while asami did nothing ) which adds to the list of many reasons korrasami was a last minute retcon. censors wouldnt have prevented them from interacting or bonding  or showing a close relationship in anyway

ikkinthekitsune .  tumblr . com/post/111124581145/you-said-that-korras-dialogue-implied-she-sent

Anonymous asked: you said that korra’s dialogue implied she sent asami only 1 letter could you make a post that shows the dialogue/script for it so I can see that

It’s not directly stated, but I think reading between the lines of the letter itself and Korra’s explanation of it makes it seem unlikely that she sent more than one:

“Dear Asami, I’m sorry I haven’t written to you sooner, but every time I’ve tried, I never know what to say.  The past two years have been the hardest of my life. Even though I can get around fine now, I still can’t go into the Avatar State. I keep having visions of Zaheer and what happened that day.  Katara thinks a lot of this is in my head, so I’ve been meditating a lot, but sometimes I worry I’ll never fully recover.  Please don’t tell Mako and Bolin I wrote to you and not them. I don’t want to hurt their feelings, but it’s easier to tell you about this stuff. I don’t think they’d understand.”

The thing to note here is that Korra feels guilty about not writing to Mako and Bolin and says she doesn’t want to hurt their feelings, but seems to feel the need to tell someone about her fears.  Considering the circumstances, continuing to write to Asami in spite of that guilt doesn’t make much sense.

She doesn’t really offer any room for a back-and-forth discussion in her letter, in any case — she’s treating it as a confessional rather than as an opportunity to talk.  It seems more like she’s trying to explain why she hasn’t been able to respond than opening a conversation.

The other part of it is this:

“I wrote to Asami while I was away. I asked her not to tell you. I’m sorry.”

I feel like, if Korra wanted to keep up a continuous conversation with Asami, the request not to tell Mako and Bolin about it would have been phrased differently (“Please don’t tell Mako and Bolin I’m writing to you and not them” rather than “I wrote”) as would the explanation (“I sent letters to Asami while I was away”).

Instead, “wrote” is in the past tense in both cases, instead of something less ambiguously repetitive, and the second one mirrors the first, which is clearly only talking about the present letter.

It’s also important to remember that there isn’t much time for her to keep up a conversation even if she wanted to do so — she went off the grid within a few months of the letter, and international mail isn’t exactly instant.

“What irks me is that it’s obvious makorra was the planned ending. there is too much build up to deny it. it’s like bryke paved a road for that ending and swerved at the last second to end with korrasami. I don’t see representation. I see sloppy writing and pandering.fantastic-nonsense answered:Honestly, based on the way the narrative seemed to be heading, I was fully expecing Korra to remain single with the possibility of rekindling the Makorra relationship (as mature adults who have retained their love for each other but have grown, are more levelheaded, and are able to deal with conflicting responsibilites) in the future. But I will agree: a grand total of six interactions post-“Long Live the Queen,” only one of which is truly non-ambiguously romantic (the finale scene), does not proper relationship build-up make. “

shippers try to claim they couldnt show more because of censors but censorship  but  as fantastic-nonsense put it

“Censorship explains why we couldn’t get a kiss and an “I love you” in the finale or blatant romantic scenes, not the utter lack of Korra-Asami interaction as a whole. They had six (to six and a half) minutes of interaction in the last season, spread out over six interactions/conversations. They’ve had nearly no on-screen interaction since “Long Live the Queen,” actually. They had the 5 second “I can come to the South Pole” convo in “Korra Alone” (which Korra refused), the single letter, their interactions in “Reunions,” and then the tea scene in “Remembrances.” After that, they don’t speak again until the last two minutes of the finale. The episode after “Remembrances” is the Korra-Mako field trip to the Spirit Wilds and Zaheer’s prison and the culmination of Korra’s recovery arc. Where was Asami? She had two lines in the whole episode, and they were both to Varrick.”

 the difference is that bryke broke the narrative to force korrasami in at the last minute 

and zutara got actual moments and interactions which would say that they are close to one another

( to be frank toph x katara makes more sense then korrasami

korrasami being the only same sex ship in lok doesnt mean you are homophobic or dont care about the lgbt community  if  you dont ship it or say it shouldnt have happened good writing is more important then representation

good writing and not having a forced ship where you throw away narrative and two characters make no sense to be with each other is more important then filling a quota or publicity stunt. its more important then the genders involved ina ship  

if they wanted to have a show with a same sex ship then make another show with a same sex ship canon with actual buildup etc

like say given that they are making another avatar series they could have not done korrasami and waited for the next avatar series to have a avatar in a same sex ship which would have actual buildup

anyone who trys to go there are tons of shows with a het ship being canon are the people who ship something based on the genders involved not the people criticizing korrasami if they try to go but there are tons of shows with het ships being canon as if its relevant to legend of korra they have no place to complain about queerbaiting or say a het ship is forced.  

people arent mad that a het ship didnt become canon they are mad because korrasami was a forced last minute retcon there not being canon  it being a same sex ship is irrelevant

people would have shipped makorra even if asami was a guy ( or if korra was a guy  korrasami where korra was a guy would be generi pairing mc with a bland love interest with no screentime)

 the idea that because there are tons of shows with the het ship becoming canon instead of the same sex ship becoming canon means we should okay korrasami since there arent any canon same sex ships  in lok besides that or its the first etc is idiotic whats the most important is the characters themselves the writing ofthe story whether or not there is buildup whether the characters makes sense etc

a character or ship whose gay deserves criticism or love or support based on its own merits 

there are plenty of lgbt people who say korrasami is forced 

a same sex ship is just as viable to criticsim as a het ship thats equality

labelling anyone a homophobe/het lenses for saying otherwise makes a joke of the term

ikkinthekitsune . tumblr  . com/post/108144330446/why-do-you-think-bryke-chose-mako-as-the-one-to#notes

Anonymous asked: Why do you think Bryke chose Mako as the one to accompany Korra to Zaheer's prison - which was arguably the most climatic scene in tying up her Book 4 character arc - instead of somebody else? For such an emotion heavy point in the story I feel that they had to have made some conscious thought on who would accompany her. It could have been Asami, or even Bolin. Do you believe that they saw something that Mako offered more to her arc than the others did? I'd love to hear your opinion!

Because Korra’s relationship with Mako is the only one she had that offered her the sort of support that she needed in that situation.

None of Korra’s other friends or mentors has as much trust and faith in Korra as Mako does.  Asami’s support is a bit too insistent and she worries a bit too much for her to have done what Mako did and stepped back when Korra asked.  Bolin is… Bolin.  He’s good at cheering people up, but he’s not the one to rely on when humor isn’t called for.  Even Tenzin couldn’t have taken Mako’s role, because he’d let Korra’s long recovery get to him.

Mako, in contrast, was able to let go when Korra needed him to do so.  Korra needed to confront Zaheer on her own, and she needed to do so without having to talk her moral support down from coming in with her.  Mako was the only one who could fill that role.

Anonymous asked: About Korra's letter to Asami and whether or not it's about Asami meaning more to Korra than anyone else: when I lost someone I cared about years ago, one of the first people I told about it was somebody who was a good friend but not one of my closest ones. This person had also lost someone and dealt with it strongly, especially for someone her age, and I knew she would understand without getting too gushy about it. It wasn't about who I "cared about more" and it definitely wasn't romantic!

Thank you for sharing your own experiences.

It makes a lot of sense, doesn’t it?  If you’re dealing with something difficult and uncomfortable, talking to someone who understands (or seems likely to understand) the specific situation does a lot more good than talking to whoever you feel closest to and hoping they’ll respond in a way that actually helps.

Just because you’re closer to/romantically interested in someone doesn’t mean they’re going to be the one with all the answers.  As such, the idea that going to one particular friend for answers about something very difficult implies closeness or romantic interest just… doesn’t really comport with reality.  =/

ikkinthekitsune . tumblr . com/post/117466809661/about-korras-letter-to-asami-and-whether-or-not#notes

[m1ckeyb3rry]

NO FR like he could be your dad please sit tf down….like do whatever you want ig but if you’re gonna do this I don’t think you have the right to shit on other people…

Oh definitely…truly dominating that tag you should honestly file a request to tumblr to claim it or something LMAOO

LMFAOOOO SO REAL literally me like we can’t BOTH be lazy like umm we can’t both be passenger princess move over

PRAYER CIRCLE RN Karasu u20 wc captain karasu u20 wc captain….kurona or Niko would be really funny because you just imagine everyone on the field is like “this 16 year old pipsqueak is the captain..?”

Otoya…what a loser he did not think it through HAHA He stole that money from Seiko’s stack of cash fr LMAOO

OO honestly that’s such a smart tactic…truly a Karasu type of activity analyzing and studying the way real people behave hehe I agree I quite enjoy oblivious/dumb but only when done right and when it’s not like their only redeeming quality LOL

LMAO wattpad truly is like the preschool of writing everyone eventually graduates and learns LOL (you should reveal one of your old fics after you hit a certain milestone LMAOO)

DUBBED VOICEOVER LMAOOO that’s so funny honestly I think it’s really funny when that happens like yeah you better not talk shit to my face :))))

Wait I didn’t even go back to reference the Bible bro how many sisters is he pulling?? This is the reverse of BFB this is BFS??? I’m wondering if they kinda just forgot about the egoist Bible and changed the facts uhhh I’ll check if the authors note in the back mentions it at all….that Bible needs some updating though please add more characters profiles shshshshs I ALSO THOUGHT THAT like a sisterly aww this little child is so cute here’s a forehead kiss but uh???? I was literally reading it outloud for dictation and stopped mid sentence to laugh when I read that moment flustered yuki was so cute and funny like bro really ran to his room flipped on his bed giggling kicking his feet and shit like…tabieitaken supremacy truly….

No because why didn’t they tell us who yuki plays as??? Ok whatever at this point I think we both know it’s basically canon that it’s Mario or peach there’s literally no other option

STOPPP THE KARASU ANON TRANSLATIONS TAG LMFAOOOOOO guys I got my own tag on Mira’s blog…we made it big guys….

Anyways I’m chipping away at the translations gonna finish up Yukis and then do barous and maybe Aryu if I’m motivated enough but maybe I’ll just skim that one and write an actual summary (me saying I’ll write summaries is like you saying you’ll write only 5k words LMAO)

-Karasu anon

FACTS like i’m not judging them for their choices i’m judging them for judging other people 😭 because in what world do they have the high ground

nah because atp we need to hunt down kaneshiro and ask for custody of karasu i think the two of us have done more for him than the actual author himself 😩

LMAOAOA i cannot be driving someone around everywhere fr i need to be the passenger princess 😓 that’s why it’s good to have multiple favs 😈

TO BE FAIR rin was 16 and captain of the bllk eleven fsr so ego does have a track record w it 😫 he’s just tall so he gets additional aura for that ig

seiko jumps people on the side so she has a shit ton of cash stowed away 🤫 it was simple for him to use his ninja skills and sneak into her room to take some KDJDSJSK he truly is not the brightest but it’s okay we still love him

HELP me and karasu are soulmates…tabimira dates are just us analyzing people for “writing purposes” and whatever random ass reason he has for doing it 😭

omg the most embarrassing thing is like i only just removed the first fics i ever posted (back in 2021) literally this month HAHAHA they were literally out and abt for the public to read until that point 😰 i shudder thinking abt it even now 😳 but yeah wattpad truly is where everyone starts out…i’d go through war w the mutuals i met/escaped from wattpad with we’ve gone through too much fr

guys do you watch mira sub or dub 🤔 LMAO it’s funnier because the area in india where i’m from has a lot of islamic influence so we speak hindi mixed with a lot of urdu which means i sound very polite and formal as well as poetic…the typical accent in the city i’m from is also considered to be very rich/elegant sounding i’ve heard?? so basically people talk shit abt me because they think i don’t understand and then i respond to them w literal bars 😭 straight up sounding like the hindi version of hollyhock y/n on an average tuesday

FLUSTERED YUKI IS SO CUTE HAHAHA i love how tabieitaken are all confirmed losers now it’s truly what they deserve (affectionately)…omg no because why IS he consistently going for the sisters?? is that his type in women?? “they have to be my best friend’s older sister”…do NOT let my man near the otoya or karasu households he will combust 😭 no but lowkey i was surprised that she was being fr too 😰 calling him “my beloved kenyu” is crazy work icl…but ok queen invest early ig…😟🤨

they didn’t need to add who yuki plays as because they know we’ve got it covered 🙏🏻 apparently i am also the number one yukimiya kenyu blog now btw HAHAHA i feel like i never even post abt him too?? the queen of tabieitaken right here fr no one can compare

YESSS LMAO I WANTED TO BE ABLE TO FIND THEM QUICKLY 😭 especially if i’m writing for yuki hehe gotta have my references on lock 🤩 honestly i probably should make tags for when my mutuals/established anons send me asks but like…i don’t feel like starting now…HAHAHA i think my tag system is a little bit above the bare minimum but some people have such neatly organized tagged blogs and personalized tags and whatnot but me personally i have never been that person and probably never will be 😓 if it annoys people they can just unfollow ig idk

PLSSS omg idk if you saw my recent post but currently i’m feeling really dumb for that whole “6-9k words ballpark 😄” NDKDJSJSK i shall continue to work on it though 🫡 take your time w translating i’m sure it’s tough!! i’ll be here 😈💖

[xxhumancentipedexx]

Hi! so i realised your very very underrated, no offense..

So, as a person who gets somewhat noticed, i will give you some tips.

#Hashtags jesus Christ they are important

A hashtag is something im sure all tumblr users or just most ppl on social media are.. they help connect people with things they enjoy and like, which brings more attention to posts. I realised you dont do much or any at all Hashtag(s) and unfortunately you kinda need to. Maybe about 20-30, i know that sounds like a lot but its relatively easy to make a hashtag. Put what your post is about in many many forms of saying it, and no you cant do the same hashtag, it doesn't work. But just say it in different ways multiple times. anything can be made into a hashtag and you'll see everything you make below. Just click then 20-30 more later. You'll probably get the attention you deserve.

when answering asks i notice a lot of people just put #Asks or #Ask as the only hashtag when answering someones ask..But..That probably wont work, just hashtag a lot about what its about, or what the person asked about instead of just putting #Ask or #Example name Asked..which also wont work if you're not remotely popular

Also, when it comes to oc's you might have to realize you probably wont get much attention. people are more interested in something they already know everything about, like pennywise..sorta. Im a pennywise fan, so my work about him gets popular, because it has a fandom, or spy, he has a fandom too! So there are more people to interact with it because they know about it, more than just and oc only you might know about.

I also wanna say it takes a little bit of time, and i see you are taking a little bit of time. So, i apologize if this was like, idk forcing? I would just like to see your art get more recommended or recognised because your art is absolutely amazing dude. Keep it going man!

(also i love both the pennywise(s) and spy art<33)

hello anon! thank you for the tips and compliments i actually appreciate them a lot <3 but the reason i don't really tag my posts is because i've been on tumblr for like 2+ years i think and my days of trying to become a recognised popular artist are kinda in the past

i think i deleted all my old posts but if they were still up you'd be able to tell i was trying to get seen because i did add like a bajillion tags. there was a point where i stopped adding as many tags because i was content with the like 5 people looking at my posts

i appreciate the attention i get with the tags i do add but most of the time i just tag my stuff for blog organisation purposes. especially when it comes to my like OCs and stuff i just tag them with their story name. it's mainly just for my mutuals and friends to see and if anyone else happens to be interested while looking through my blog then that's a plus

but thank you nonetheless :^)

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

The fans of Emma Roberts are never going to acknowledge the actual facts of what happened because it ruins the image of the woman they idolize and who they thought she is. The fact that the arrest was made because there were witnesses that gave statements to the police in addition to the statements from Evan and Emma that were given separately is something that refutes the claims her fans make about mutual abuse or Emma defending herself so they refuse to address it and will continue to spread lies. Not only did the police take statements from Evan, Emma, and witnesses, but they also examined the injuries on both Emma and Evan (and Evan had way more serious injuries) and with all of the evidence and info made the decision to arrest Emma. Rather than take this information in and reexamine whether Emma is someone they should really support, her fans choose to attack her victim and spread misinformation and lies. They ask for articles that state that emma was the aggressor ( I'll link one here for you all :) https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/07/17/emma-roberts-arrested-attack-boyfriend-evan-peters_n_3608932.html) but they can't give an article that states that Evan says he was abusive too nor can they give a link to the police report that some of them like to bring up. Because those things don't actually exist. They are lies. But Emma being abusive to the point where she got arrested is a fact that cannot be changed or rewritten.

Hi, I just wrote a really long message about Emma and also wanted to provide this article which reiterates that she was arrested because of witness statements and that the police did examine injuries on both Emma and Evan yet they arrested her. https://www.eonline.com/news/439736/emma-roberts-arrested-after-fight-with-boyfriend-evan-peters

sorry for the long rant but I am so over the lies and misinformation.

-

no need to apologize, you're absolutely right. emma's morally bankrupt minions lie when facts are readily available. they add in ''details'' that never happened and basically rewrite the history of that night to paint emma as the victim, or at least to make evan an equally guilty party, when there is no proof of this whatsoever. also, if you look at the huffington post article, it literally links you to the TMZ post which states:

Sources close to Emma tell TMZ ... Emma and Evan were hitting each other and she was arrested because he had obvious physical injuries. The sources deny Emma bit Evan.

-

the only, ONLY source that states evan and emma were ''hitting each other'' was from someone on EMMA's team. aka, a PR person trying to save face for their client. not an eye-witness account from that night, not an objective bystander at all. period. in fact, the fight took place in a hotel room in the wee hours of the early morning - who the hell do they think was visually witnessing emma and evan fighting? as the huffpost article states, they were OVERHEARD fighting. i know emma and her minions are dumb, but just a quick refresher: you hear with your ears, and you see with your eyes. i guess it would help if you had a brain somewhere beyond that but i can't help them there. so nobody saw evan pimp slapping emma and told the police who turned a blind eye and arrested her instead of him. just a personal anecdote but i find it worth sharing: i had a next door neighbor in my apartment several years back who was being physically attacked by her boyfriend, and it was not hard to guess who the aggressor was based on the words exchanged.

so that leaves us with this: hotel guests heard a fight taking place in emma and evan's room. police were called, they came into said hotel room, spoke to them, and i'm sure also interviewed the guests surrounding them. police visually observed that evan was the only one who had physical injuries indicative of being attacked and determined emma to be the aggressor. due to this, she was arrested and her saving grace was evan not pressing charges against her.

[saturnskyline]

getting to know your bl mutuals ♡

rules: answer the questions and tag some people. include the tag 'g2ky bl mutuals 2022' on your post so we can find everyone's answer.

i was tagged by @braceletofteeth, thank you so much!! :)

—

what were the bls that took you by surprise last year?

well... that would have to be kinnporsche. i saw the "i know you feel it too" bathroom clip the filmania trailer and was intrigued, but lost track of it amidst the initial release drama, only to come back around when i saw the first kiss scene (true chemistry fr). i wasn't fully invested until then, but i guess you can say it spiraled from there 😅 it looked cinematic and very horny (spoiler: it was both), but i never could have expected to be so... oh, what's the word..... consumed by it? (case in point: me writing a mini essay in here eh oh el)

what were the bls that you felt a bit disappointed with last year?

i had to really think back for this one bc i feel like there were so many good bls happening last year. the one that finally occurred to me is gonna sound so stupid... but probably kissable lips? 😭😭 i do not know what i expected or wanted it to be, nor do i really remember it that well tbh, but i feel like it did have potential to be better. again though, i'm not sure what standards i was holding it to so maybe it actually did deliver lol. i could be absolutely crazy, who knows!

what was your favorite bl last year?

i have already waxed poetic many a time about kinnporsche on this website, so you already know that one hehe. and speaking of bls that hit me like a truck... between us! (for me, "favorite" and "surprise" seem to be the same. i guess i like to be pleasantly surprised)

favorite bl/gl couples (not just of 2022)

in no particular order:

patpran

seanwhite

kinnporsche

inkpa

payurain

vegaspete

deanpharm

monsam

prapaisky

winteam

kimchay

i'm sure i'm missing some but here's a solid list 🙃

if you had to suggest a bl for someone what would it be?

this one is tricky bc i would want to take the person's preferences into account.... but i am a bad buddy truther through and through 🫶🫶 just feel like you couldn't go wrong with that rec tbh. the acting is incredible, the writing is top-notch, and everything adds up for a drama that is so refreshing and magical and authentically queer. ohmnanon's chemistry has me breathless to this day, and milklove really helped me come to terms with my sexuality :') i can't say enough good things about it honestly, what a special little show

what was your non-bl favorite last year?

that's gonna have to be gap 🙏 technically i haven't even finished it sdhsdfhj, i just don't want it to be over! a true game changer, and it just has a very special place in my heart. freenbecky my beloveds <3

—

tagging @coffeeyuqi @vegaseatsass @theoryofarson @darkthestars @fuckyeah-itme @crystallinemoonlight and anyone else who wants to do this! i'm trying so hard to switch up who i tag in these so i don't spam people lol. as always, feel free to ignore though

[finitefall]

hope you dont take this the wrong way.. but maybe dont get involved when you dont know the people in the post..

Hi, anon. I'm sure plenty of people agree with you: "Catherine, you don't know the people who were first involved, just because you saw the post on your dashboard since two people you follow answered doesn't mean you should too". And in certain circumstances, you would be right. In those circumstances, however, I don't agree with you.

I've read the entire post, and I did hesitate to reblog and add my own answer. Why? Because I got death threats myself both IRL and online. Because I'm suffering from mental illness and as someone who attempted suicide, I asked myself if it would be in my interest to risk having someone telling me to kill myself. It wouldn't be the first time, either. I even considered ignoring your message, anon. Avoid answering to this, because I'm not stupid: that answer isn't gonna make me popular. But... if people want to hate me, they will anyway.

Here's the original post @lady-phasma answered to:

I deserve a dark haired lover with soft eyes and a heart full of love

Nothing, I repeat, nothing in this post mention being white or a BIPOC. Nothing. Having dark hair doesn't mean crap. And what does this woman who thought they were only answering to a post about your tastes got? Insults. Accusations of racism. Death threats. When OP could have just said it wasn't for white people. Those who didn't want to understand that deserved to be blocked, but she didn't get an opportunity to realize she had answered on a post that wasn't for her and her tastes.

Then, someone who's actually a mutual, @la-pheacienne, was accused of using the n word. A black woman said she used the n word twice, when she absolutely never did such a thing. I would have blocked her myself and reblogged the post just to warn people of who she truly was if she had done such a thing. People have to realize how serious that accusation is. You can't just accuse people of being racists like it's a joke.

I'm not from the US. I'm French and have always lived in France, but I learned to check my white privilege very often. I'm not being colorblind like many people saying they're "not racist": you're either racist or antiracist. There's racism here too, hi. We're not the US, thank God, but still.

Have you watched Fruitvale Station, a 2013 movie inspired by the murder of a 22 years-old African-American by a police officer? Or a more popular one, When They See Us, a 2019 miniseries about the arrest and conviction of five young boys? Do you remember Trayvon Martin? George Floyd? Breonna Taylor? All the others I want to name here but I'm not sure how their names are spelled? Those aren't trick questions, it's only leading to this one: would you like their families to see this post? Honestly?

You know why I got involved? Because it was the right thing to do. Because I've never been a quiet witness to those things. I don't care whether or not I know the person who's being insulted and threatened. I've defended someone who used to bully me in school, once. Why? Because it was right at that time, when that person was being threatened. I still don’t have a high opinion of them, but that didn’t mean what was happening right in front of me was all right. If you only say something because it's your friend and you like them, I don't know if you actually believe in anything besides defending your friend.

People have unfollowed me. I'm glad. I don't want people who think what happened was all right to follow me. If people want to send me threats, I have a strong moral support now that I didn't have years ago. What's important for me is to not pretend I didn't see something going against what I believe in. I know people love to look the other way, but I've never done it and I'm not about to start now just because it would make my life easier and because more people would like me.

I've checked that woman's blog and apparently she'll be all right. With someone else, that might not have been the case. You know people do commit suicide because of what they're being told online? It's not just about @lady-phasma. It's not just about one of my mutuals having been accused of being a racist. Perhaps it's about me, in fact. About the fact that I can't imagine seeing this, think "lol it's ridiculous" and go watch TV. Believe me, people have told me to back off enough times in my life for me to realize that this isn't an attractive personality trait, but that's how I am.

[twotangledsisters]

How do you decide what fics to comment on?

I laughed a lot seeing this ask cause, am I acquiring a reputation as a commenter? That's not a bad thing by any means! I just can't help but laugh at the fact I've been talked about for leaving long comments more than I have been for my own art and fics. But I guess that just means those comment leave an impression?

Anyway, sorry for the ramble there for a moment, onto the question!

To answer this question I probably first need to ask another question:

How do I chose what fics to read?

Because... I read the fics and then I comment on them... Obviously.

And I read mostly Cassandra, Eugene or Arianna content. I will read anything tangled, but generally for me to stray from the norm it's due to recommendation from mutuals, friends, just random posts talking about how much they love a fic?

And if I read something, I comment!

It's very rare for me nowadays to not comment, I would have to either not have anything good to say (which hasn't happened.... ever? I think... Thanks to Ao3's amazing tagging system I imagine!) or I read it on kindle and forgot.... (I am so sorry...)

BUT! There are rules? Exceptions? I don't know...

Here's the thing, I know the way I comment, the length, the quotes, it isn't everybody's cup of tea and I respect that!

Before, I assumed people would tell me if they didn't like it.

But I no longer assume that.

Now, I will go full in with my first comment, and if the author responds positively (like, a single word can be positive, if they just says 'thanks' that is positive), I add them to my green-list (this only exists in my head). I trust them to have been honest in that response and I assume they enjoy long-form comments!

If there is no response, which is perfectly fine, I will assume there is a chance they HATE those comments, and aren't willing to respond saying that as the response would be public and a lot of people are too shy to give negative feedback... So I will stop commenting in that way.

I won't stop consuming content, leaving kudos or anything like that, I will even continue to leave short comments!

But I will cease the long comments out of, honestly, social anxiety and not wanting to be hated by the fandom I'm in!

I know this might not be the best attitude. But I just have too much anxiety and I end up feeling like I am harassing people if that makes sense?

Oh, also, obviously, if I have a negative interaction with someone on tumblr, or they blocked me, or they spoke badly of me at some point, I will cease consumption of those fics! (I do make an exceptions for co-written fics, but that's more complicated).

But yeah...

If you have a fic you want to recommend umm... DO!

Like, please!

Especially if it's your own cause I feel so much more at peace when commenting on fics from mutuals on here cause I know they aren't going to get angry at me for long comments!

I feel like this got long rambly and probably shows just how much my anxiety has been eating at me these past few umm.... weeks, months? I lose track of time.

I've been putting of answering this ask because I had completely stopped commenting for a while there... I'm kinda getting back into it now! But answering this at a time when I was not commenting felt very wrong... Almost like fake? I don't know...

My brain is kinda semi turned on right now, I'm so exhausted...

But I do welcome recommendations!

Especially one-shots!

I really need to get back into reading and commenting and I think just jumping back in is the way!

This ask did, kinda hit a nerve with me as well, it made me feel for a few moments that perhaps my only contribution to this fandom is my comments? Like, my art flops so bad on tumblr... my fics do really well actually I'm always shocked how many people read them, but... my brain just isn't processing stuff right, it's looking for the negatives right now. It's not a good time for me.

But after some thought I realized this is a nice ask!

I'm glad people like those comments, I'm glad I can contribute to the fandom and specifically to fic writers in that way!

I want to do it more.

I'm just, recovering mentally right now from some stuff, heavy fics are kinda off the table and... Even searching for fics feels like a chore?

See, even writing that I feel lazy for saying it xD which is silly, like, I'm not being lazy I'm just ill...

Rambling aside.

Send recommendations.

I'm sorry I haven't been commenting!

I appreciate every ask even if I'm kinda slow at answering sometimes!

I'm going to bed.