#a mother who just starts crying and blaming herself so it's absolutely impossible to get anything out of her? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

romanoffsbish · 2 years ago

Text

Lessons Learned

Natasha Romanoff x FemWife!Reader

Maria Hill x Sister!Reader

Maria Hill x Carol Danvers

Unwelcome Surprise (Part 1)

Warnings‼️:

Jesus Christ, prepare yourself for a potentially broken heart, but a happy ending is promised ❤️

90% of this is Natasha unpacking her trauma, and being resistant to the feelings.

Murder, Violence, Trauma, Childhood innocence lost, feelings of inadequacy, possibly more (please let me know 🤷🏼‍♀️)

10k+ words ; Angsty with a happy ending, reader focused on herself and Nat's definitely put in the work as requested which is why it ended up being so long 😂.

Enjoy Part 3/4 of the Part 2 party palooza❤️

——————————————————————

One week, seven days, 10,080 minutes, and she didn't even want to consider the seconds.

If you were to ask the woman what was harder: "Single" Parenting or Avenging, she'd answer you before you could even mutter the second option. After now having dealt with a distraught toddler, and the six year old that's apparently going on sixteen she's absolutely besides herself.

You've barely said but three words to her since walking out on her the night of the party. Whenever you do call it's something along the lines of "Where're the kids," then you'd let Mason talk your ear off before sighing heavily as Lily says hardly a word before you're hanging up, leaving Natasha to deal with the even sadder toddler, and the brooding child.

When she'd arrived to Laura's without you, looking distraught herself she was met with an apologetic smile, then passed a crying toddler. Mason pulled his thumb from his mouth so that he could wrap his arms tightly around his mothers neck, then continued to lightly sob until he eventually cried himself to sleep. In contrast, Lily had greeted her with a beaming smile, and a hug that nearly toppled her over.

————

Natasha was currently drowning in a bottle of whiskey, kids finally down for the night, left wondering how in the hell everything had managed to get this bad. One day you're like giddy teenagers—crazy in love, the next you're fighting like those high school sweethearts who were bound by unwavering resentment and the accidents created in their early twenties.

The family she so desperately yearned for, then somehow against all the odds forged, is now broken, and she's fearful it's irreparably so. With no one else to blame but herself she can do no more than to wallow in her self pity. However, with the kids present she only has time to do so during the hours of 10pm to 2am, before she crashes on the couch—refusing to lay in the bed without you—for a measly four hours before the nightmare starts all over again at 6am.

——

You had spent that first night in the arms of your sister, crying all the tears you'd thought had already ran their course, but apparently that just wasn't the case.

"Let it all out little one."

"I'm not little." You'd grumbled through your pitiful sobs, feeling the way your sisters chest vibrated from beneath you as she laughed.

"You'll always be my little one Y/N/N..."

You scoff lightly, but betray your show of anger as you nuzzle impossibly closer to her for the much needed comfort, appreciative of the sporadic forehead kiss she bestows upon you.

Carol had tried to give the both of you space, but it was getting hard to do in their one bedroom apartment, and she honestly hurt the more she heard your sobs through the wall. With a light knock, and permission to enter granted she cracked the door open, juggling three mugs in her hand, and smiling at you.

Against their protests you'd crawled out of your sisters lap so they could cuddle; gratefully accepting the mug of chocolate goodness in return and cracking a faint smile at the intentional overload of whipped cream and marshmallows on your designated mug.

A curious silence fell in the room, your sisters head falling to her lovers shoulder while an arm wrapped loosely around her waist, the low drum of whatever late night comedy rerun that's on this early in the morning filling the room as you all sipped upon your drinks. Intrusive thoughts all flooding your mind once the surrounding silence seeped in.

"What did I do wrong?"

At the sound of your broken voice Maria was quick to settle both your mugs down on the side table, firmly grabbing your face to redirect your gaze to her as she gave you a firm glare. Having not seen you looking this small since your shared painful childhood, and just in this moment she could see herself pulling one over on the reformed assassin.

"Absolutely nothing. Romanoff is nothing more than an incapable idiot with the emotional maturity of a fruit fly, I told you that when you accepted the date, did I not?"

"Oh you hush..." You defeatedly groan, yanking your face out of her hands and dramatically flopping back onto their shared bed.

Maria jumps to fill the space next to you, jostling both yours and Carol's bodies as she touches down. Propping herself up onto her elbows so that she could stare down at you since you're laying flat on your back while Carol quietly grabs a blanket and slips out for her voluntary night on the couch.

"Seriously honey, you didn't do anything wrong. You've been an amazing mother to those beautiful children, and an even better wife to the woman who's left you high and dry more times than I can count."

Her thumb was quick to tug your lip from between your teeth, then to wipe away at the stray tears threatening to drip upon her sheets.

"It was so good you know... Before Mason was born we were doing so well, then somewhere between Lily's third birthday, and his birth something changed. After her mandatory three months off she returned to Shield, work had become her main priority, it was like she was moving on autopilot, she'd wake up, have her coffee, leave what felt like obligatory kisses to all of our foreheads as she exited, then she'd be gone all day, if not the rest of the week."

"Did something happen?"

"Not that I was made aware of, it wasn't even a gradual shift either; literally out of nowhere she became distant, then whenever I'd attempt to approach her it was a dismissive comment that led to a blowout fight. It was as if I wasn't even worth her time of day anymore, I just wanted to know what happened, so that I could try to fix it. What have I done that I am not deserving of at least that? I have given her ten years of my life, my twenties were hers, and I'll be damned if I'll waste my thirties miserable."

Maria releases a drawn out sigh, not entirely sure how to respond to you, but as your big sister she begins to work towards fixing things.

"I don't have the answers honey, only she would, but honestly I'm not sure she knows why either. I can however offer you what I do know. Natasha loves you a lot honey, even if her way of showing it is backwards, you can decide how you wish to take that information. Whatever you do Y/N/N, don't just go running back to her, but don't just throw in the towel either, not without at least one more attempt to fix things; don't be like our parents Y/N/N."

Maria watches you wincing at the mention of your late parents, but she feels the tough love angle is important, hopefully clarifying even.

"You've put in the work when it came to your trauma Y/N/N, you willingly sought out help, and you are the better one of us for it. You're two times the mother ours ever was, and that's a fact... Natasha, if we're being honest here didn't, and though incomparable hers runs a hell of a lot deeper than ours ever did. It seems to me that she only ever buried herself in you, willing your presence to make it all go away, and for awhile it probably did work for her."

It's true that Natasha had hardly spent anytime processing her trauma before she had met you. Freedom had never really meant free for her, she was able to "escape" the Red-Room with the help of Shield, and in turn she handed them her whole life until she found you, who she then passed the blazing torch to.

"From experience though we both know that's not how the healing process works, I think that something has potentially triggered her and without the resources to understand it's fair to assume she didn't even realize it. We both know she's too proud, afraid even to face the darkness that is her past, but I fear if she doesn't have the motivation to face it she'll just continue down this destructive path.."

Maria's words had struck a chord within you; running from your problems will get you nowhere, and throwing in the towel on your marriage isn't exactly your goal here either. Taking a step back sounded more like it, striking the fear of God into the redhead before you return to her with a list of ultimatums.

"Plus, she put in for a year off as soon as the undercover mission was forcibly extended, which we both know is huge. It's like the former assassin's equivalent to a root canal."

"Damn 'Ria, you should've been a shrink." You laugh out, then move to cuddle against her.

Your genuine laughter helped to soothe Maria's worried heart—you're going to be okay, it'll just take time...

—

The following morning you were off, not willing to stay in plain sight in case the redhead set off to find you. So, you did the next best thing by taking the offered jet��Maria's orders, and the accompanying black card from the millionaire's hand, his profuse apologies more than accepted since you'd now been given this freedom to travel the world as you'd always dreamed.

Taking off was rather liberating actually, first on your list was to travel within the states, and with the jet it made it a fairly easy conquest. Every sunrise, and sunset along with the designated meal times was spent within a new state, with the exception of California, Texas, Alaska and Hawaii being lucky enough to have full days. It took you exactly two weeks to travel to all the unseen spaces, and though it was exhausting at times you refused to miss it.

When you eventually arrived in California, you'd started with a walk along the Golden Gate bridge to catch the sunrise, feeling as free as can be once the ocean breeze hit your face. The way this one state had such a variety of climates had you in relative awe, viewing the snowy mountains off in the distance, while toes hesitantly dipped into Tahoe's crystal clear lakes. Quite the experience honestly, skipping the rocks while grubbing on some fantastic tacos from a truck. You'd enjoyed observing the entirety of the sunny state, forgoing Los Angeles for your children's sake, and honestly being grateful you weren't traveling by car, because the people here were truly reckless.

You were fortunate enough to catch a view of the Northern lights from quite a few states, you walked along the shores of beaches, and visited sights like the Space Needle, or "The Worlds Largest: Ketchup bottle, Cheese Wheel, Potato" and so much more that you'd never imagined needed to be memorialized.

After the states you traveled across the entirety of many contents, sightseeing at the forefront, but more so you'd been on a journey of self discovery. You'd seemingly forgotten yourself over the years after becoming a wife and then a mother, so you emerged yourself into a plethora of new worlds in search of clarity.

With every new adventure you'd found your soul feeling a tad bit lighter; even if your heart did hurt every time you heard your son shriek as you were hanging up, or your daughter's angry breathing on the other end of the line, and lest we forget the voicemails left in the middle of the night wearing you down just as much—you're not sure she even knew she was leaving them though.

The only clear problem ended up being how lonely you found yourself, it was so odd to you too because for as long as you can remember it'd always been just you. Sure, you had Maria, but with her climbing the ranks at Shield you were on your own a lot. Working on your undergraduate degree, which left you with so little time for fun, but full of hope for your prospective, bright future.

Then one day along while back Maria was invited to an event in which she refused to go alone, so she dragged your resisting form into a fancy venue against your will. Silently cursing her for having the upper hand of physical training on a regular basis over you. By the end of the event though you'd loosened up after having had your fill of champagne, and while dancing the night away you'd met the most gorgeous woman you'd ever laid eyes upon.

Natasha Romanoff, the woman you now call your wife, and the one who with one simple smirk, and a charming kiss to your hand had managed to reel you in. A whirlwind romance full of laughter, sex, and an abundance of love. Somewhere along the way though the laughter had died, and all you got were sparing moans, and loud screaming—not the good kind.

So, after two months of traveling, you shakily took the jet home to New York, then set off with your sister in tow towards the farmhouse. AirPods in playing your favorite podcast with your head leaning against the window to take in the New York skyline. Admiring the ways that the sun slowly rose, beams of light shining through the cracks between the skyscrapers. Maria sat beside you in her sunglasses, sipping upon her coffee while fulfilling her older sister duty of driving you through the city while Carol quietly sat in the back reading a book—you were starting to understand why she's such a good partner for your sister.

While you came to terms with a lot, and worked to understand your wife over blaming her you finally felt like you could breathe again. The last couple of months had been absolute hell for your wife though, your unwillingness to even share your location had been weighing heavily on the woman's heart, the possibilities for what you're doing were endless and that drove her mad.

Were you moving on?

Did someone else sweep you off your feet?

Is that why you haven't come back yet?

Did she really just ruin everything she spent years building up over her unresolved traumas?

The fear of losing you had always been her biggest, so she's not sure why she—entirely unprovoked, brought it to fruition.

Turns out your daughter was wondering much of the same... Lily had been hard on you, and had said some very mean things, but no matter what she could still depend on you to be there. Every time she would wake with a nightmare, even after treating you badly, she knew she could always climb into your bed at night. Without fail you'd pull her close, dry her cheeks, and sing to her until she was soothed.

Natasha sleeps on the couch though, and she's not getting much sleep as it is, so now she's left to face her fears on her own. The biggest one being that she somehow ran her mommy off.

Of course she did, she was cruel, and now you're just gone...

"Mama?"

"Hmm?" Natasha hummed, slowly peering over her third mug of coffee in under just an hour to see your daughter's distraught face.

"Oh lyubov', what's wrong?"

"I'm scared mama..." She cries, and Natasha rounds the counter, scooping the tiny girl up and into her tight embrace.

"Why are you scared angel?"

"I broke the family... I was mean to mommy, and now she's just gone... What if she never comes back? Mama, does she hate me? I-I. She's my mommy, she can't hate me... Right? I'd told her I hated her a day before she left, but I didn't mean it, I never meant it..." Lily says in a panic, her words incomprehensible near the end as she began to hyperventilate.

"Hey, slow down there angel... I need you to breathe for me baby, come on..."

Natasha is able to pull her out of the breathing fit, but her trembling body doesn't cease, Natasha just pulls her into her chest even tighter and rocks her tiny body.

"Oh Lily-bug... You have to know that your mommy doesn't hate you, she loves you so very much, don't you ever doubt that hunny. You also didn't break our family, I don't want to hear you saying that again."

"But—."

"No, you're the child here baby, you did not cause this. It was mama that messed up." Natasha firmly replies after taking a steadying breath, because admitting it out loud really hurt, but seeing her daughter riddled with guilt was somehow more painful.

"No, mama you didn't." Lily replies in a panic.

"Honey, I don't like saying it, but it's true. Mama made some really stupid choices, and now Mommy is just taking a little breather."

"What did you do?"

"I also wasn't very nice to mommy, I said some really mean things to her, and always ran away. Mommy did nothing wrong, but I still made her —."

Natasha pauses, decisively she reroutes the conversation, not really wanting to unload such heaviness onto the already fragile young girl in her arms.

"Honey, why were you mean to mommy, hm?"

"I thought when mommy yelled at you she was why you kept leaving, and that just made me so mad. You were always gone mama, and I just missed you so much... Yelling just made me feel so much better, but I know it didn't make mommy feel good, she cried a lot..."

"Me neither pumpkin, I do think it made her really sad, but she's smart—she knows you love her, I promise."

"Can you tell her sorry for me please? Maybe then she'll come home... I miss her, she's a good mommy... She also knows how to cook." She quietly asks over a yawn, her mother's light laughter and warm body lulling her into a much needed nap.

Your daughters confessions really weighs heavy on the former assassin, while barely being around she'd still managed to pass her anger issues off onto your daughter. Forcing her into such heavy feelings at such a young age; she'd always vowed to protect her family, but she knows now that she did the opposite here...

Failures never really been an option for her, and after talking things over with the innocent child she's aware that she'll need to work through a lot if she's ever going to fix this, which is the only option she's prepared for. She'd gone to text you for your daughter's sake, but then she decided that would be too cheap.

She'll call you later, hopefully you'll answer...

Little did she know you were currently stood behind the house, Maria headed towards the front door to enact her portion of the plan. Because had she known the house would be clean, and she would've showered as well.

Lily's quick to jolt up at the sound of the door, scrambling to her feet she runs over in the hopes that it's Lila, or Coop on the other side.

"AUNTIE MARIA!!" She shrieks, pleasantly surprised by her presence she all but jumps into her arms, then in a curious manner she looks over her shoulder hoping to see you.

"Hello there my favorite niece." She teasingly greets the young girl, eyes naturally taking in the mess of a woman on the couch before finally addressing her.

"Hey Nat, sorry for just dropping in, but would it be okay if Carol and I took the kids out for the day? Promise they'll be back by sunset."

"Of course. Let me just go get Mason up and dressed, then you'll be good to go."

"Ooh, can we go to the zoo? Oh, and maybe get ice cream?"

Natasha strides off towards your son's room, shoulders sagging as soon as Maria's no longer visible. For a brief moment her head falls against his door, a lone tear falls as she works to pull herself together just enough to send the kids off for their day of fun, and for her day of drinking to just start a bit earlier.

"Hey Mace, baby boy it's time to get up..." She coos, lightly shaking him awake, and just like clockwork he calls out for you, as he does every single morning.

"Mommy?!"

"No baby, it's just mama." She sighs in defeat, then lifts his body out of the dinosaur themed toddler bed to dress him.

She can't blame him, she misses you just the same, but it still stings for her to feel like she's not enough for him. It's her own fault, she's never been a consistent enough figure in his short life, and now he's only been left with her.

"Come on buddy, your auntie is here."

His face instantly lights up, and her heart breaks at the sight, knowing that he's bonded with his aunt in a way he still hasn't with her just hurts beyond measure.

"Auntie Riri?"

Natasha nods, then his hand drops from hers and he runs down the stairs to get to see for himself.

"No running down the stairs!" She shrieks, fear overcoming her at the possibility of him falling, but as she catches up to him all it did was make him hesitant to be near her.

Mason's not really used to yelling, he's always been a sensitive little one. Lily was a relatively quiet baby, her cries instantly soothed upon having her needs met. Mason was the opposite, crying regularly for more than the basic needs. Lily had been, and still is pretty independent, but Mason's always needed that extra bit of affection, and to accommodate him you'd taken the 'no need to shout' approach at parenting. Finding it for more beneficial in the long run anyways, as shouting was borderline barbaric, and emotionally harmful to any child.

"I'm sorry, mama just didn't want you to get hurt... Can I have a hug goodbye?"

He shook his head 'no' while hiding behind Maria's leg, but after he saw Lily hugging her he hesitantly made his way over too. Natasha heavily sighed at the contact grateful for even the most minor progress, then she placed a tender kiss to his temple before sending them both off with an 'I love you.'

Once they were out the door, and she heard the car had taken off she gasped as the immense, overwhelming sadness bubbled over into irrational rage, a framed family photo caught in the crossfire as she threw it against the wall. Crumbling to her knees at the same time the glass shattered across the floor, left to regret her actions the moment she had observed the scene before her.

Brushing the glass away she pulled the image into her trembling chest; it was a perfect photo.

Natasha and you had taken Lily to the secluded park up the road which was really just a tire swing, and a rickety metal slide. There you stood with a much younger Lily, her tiny arms wrapped around your throat, hanging off your back as tiny legs tried to wrap around your protruding belly—the left succeeded but the right was dangling. While you were fighting for your life Natasha had managed to run into the timed photo grabbing her leg, pushing her up and relieving the pressure upon your larynx. The photo captured as you took in an exaggerated breath, Lily's body towering above yours with a smirk to rival Natasha's, and Nat's other hand was on your stomach while her face was contorted fearfully. What a memory...

"That was a good day, one of our last ones actually." You suddenly said from behind her, causing Natasha to scramble to face you.

The sight of your normally put-together, fiercely strong wife stood before you as nothing but a shell of herself hurt you far more than you cared to admit. No matter how much damage or pain she inflicted upon the family you didn't necessarily intend for this response. Karma doesn't always do the job it's meant to, here it seems to have only broken her further.

"You're-you're really here..."

Natasha scuffled across the floor in a rush, paying no mind to the glass that's scratching up her exposed knees as her body's only goal is to reach you—to feel you.

"Yes, I think it's about time we talk..." You reply with an accompanying groan as her tear filled face slams against the fabric of your shirt, and your hand falls atop her head in a comforting way.

"Natasha... Get up..."

With all her strength she wills herself to let you go, then slowly she makes her way over to the couch where she sits with her bloodied knees pulled tightly into her chest.

Taking the moment to really observe her you see the distant look in her eye, and the olive complexion she once had has faded as if the sun just wasn't around anymore. It's more apparent than ever how much she truly needs some help. Three years of mostly being alone didn't do this to you, and she's only been here two months. Granted she didn't leave you fearing a divorce, but still, this is beyond a simple talk between two broken lovers.

With a familiar ease you had moved around the house, collecting the first aid kit and throwing the trash away as it littered the whole kitchen counters all while waiting on the tea kettle. Settling the mugs on the table you moved to sit beside Natasha, cautiously reaching out, but stopping once her hand wraps around your wrist.

"Leave it." She rasps, but you shake her hold and dab the gauze with antiseptic on the cuts.

"Natasha, I'm not going to leave you cut up."

"You left me..." Her words are merely a whisper, you continued to just work on her knees until you pulled your thoughts together.

The cuts were superficial, so after you slathered some ointment over them you left them uncovered then pulled back to finally acknowledge her heartbreak.

"Yes, I did do that, but I'm back now so that we can talk this out."

"I wanted to talk that night..."

"Natasha, this isn't going to work if we lie. You didn't try to talk, you tried to fuck me into submission, and it nearly worked—once again, but much like you I couldn't do this anymore. Going back to the way things were isn't an option for me."

"Detka, I promise we won't go back, but please don't leave again, I-I can't do this alone."

"Tasha, I'm back, but I'm not back as you want. I'm here to be a support system, to coparent our beautiful babies, and to make sure the house never looks like this again. I'll be staying in the guest room for now until we—."

"No-no... I don't want a fucking divorce, I want you Y/N/N, I want us—our family..." Natasha shouts while jumping to her feet and blocking you from leaving the couch.

"Then it's good we're on the same page then, because I want all of that too, desperately so. You have to stop interrupting me, stop jumping to conclusions, and stop making decisions for us. I don't see this marriage working if we just jump right back into it."

"Why can't we just be us now? I have ten months left of my time off, we can travel with the kids, we can be happy, I want to be happy."

"Being happy starts with you Nat, whatever it is you're holding onto you need to let it all go. You need to seek outside help, you're so angry, but deep down I know you're drowning in sorrow, and burying yourself in us clearly stopped working for you a long time ago."

"That's easy enough for you to say, how do I just let it all go? All that I've lived through, that I've done to others, I'm just meant to let it go?"

"Yeah, you need to let it fucking go, because the longer you hold on, the more you're going to continue to lose. I've never been a fan of ultimatums, but fuck, Natasha this is mine!"

"What are you saying?"

"You need to get help, or this won't work, and then divorce would be our only option. Our kids deserve two happy parents, I refuse to be to my children what my parents were to me. Maria and I survived by the skin of our teeth, and I'll be damned if Lily and Mason are made to do the same. We have a chance here to give our kids what we never had and we're fucking it up Natasha. Mason deserves to know his other mother, and Lily shouldn't have to hate me to love you."

Natasha's taken aback by your words, looking deeply into your eyes she sees this is truly it. Either she gets the "help", or you're gone for good, and two months without you was enough for her to never want that again, so she nods. Then taking tentative steps she moves forward until she straddles your lap, and buries her face into the crook of your neck.

"Natasha..."

"Please...? Just hold me, please..."

Your arms wrap around her waist, allowing her this moment of comfort, because in the end she's still your wife, and she's not a horrible person, she's the furthest thing from that.

"I promise to fix this Y/N/N... I can't lose you, I won't survive it."

"I know you will Tasha, and I promise to be here every step of the way, now get some rest."

You pulled the blanket from off the top of the couch to place over her, turning the TV on low to watch a random comedy rerun while you simultaneously soothed the body atop of yours until it fell slack. Then after she was in a deep sleep you placed a lingering kiss to her forehead before gently slipping her onto the couch and moving to clean up the disaster that is your shared home before getting started on dinner.

—

Maria came back three hours later with a sleeping toddler and an exhausted little girl. With her spare key she unlocked the door, and as soon as the smell of borscht hit Lily's nose her whole body perked up, dropping her aunts hand in favor of running into the kitchen.

"Mommy you're back!" She shouts excitedly, but you're quick to shush her while also dropping to your knees to fully embrace her.

Once you've got her in your arms you stand once more, stirring the soup when you feel her body start to tremble in your hold.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

You tried to set her down but her hold became unbearably tight and you realized she was indeed scared

"Put him with Nat, and stir the soup please. There's bowls for all of us." You instructed your older sister, ignoring the playful muttering of 'bossy' she throws your way as you make your way upstairs.

Once the both of you came back downstairs Natasha already had Mason in his seat, and was helping Maria to set the table. Maria noticed you first, sending up a sympathetic smile when your eyes instantly fell to the to go containers in her hand.

"Duty calls." She jests with the tupperware lifted in the air and arms wide open to say goodbye.

You'd walked around the corner, and while hugging her goodbye Mason began to squirm in his seat so you cut the embrace short and moved to pick him up, and for the third time today someone was clinging to you like a koala.

That night you went to sleep in the guest room with Mason already clinging to you, and by the time the clock struck one your bed was full. Though it wasn't part of your plan, you knew it would be an adjustment, so for the time being you let it be, and if you were being honest with yourself really it wasn't that hard to do.

——

Natasha was really starting to wonder if divorce was that bad as she sat in the waiting room to meet her therapist, the one designated for the Avengers, and all their extended members.

She's lived a whole life without you, she could easily do it... right?

"Natasha Romanoff? Miss Montague will see you now."

Natasha took a moment to collect herself, wringing her hands out a few times before switching a flip and confidently walking through the doors as the perplexed receptionist stood in wait.

Natasha entered the woman's office and the sight of the tidy, almost clinical environment had her stomach turning with uneasiness. Regardless of her feelings though she sat down, and for her entire session just sat there staring the woman down, the psychologist's gaze never wavering as she left the floor open to her.

"Well, Mrs. Romanoff that was a great first session, I'll see you again next week at the same time, thank you for coming in."

Natasha scoffs as she's practically shoved out of the office, but for some reason she can't fight the fact that she feels microscopically better.

—

The next session's a bit more involved as she introduces "herself" to the woman, barely scratching the surface when she mutters out:

"I'm Natasha, and I'm here to fix my marriage with Y/N, and then hopefully we'll be a happy family again."

Natasha felt incredibly brave for having even mentioned the problem at hand, but Miss Montague felt differently, as she chuckled inappropriately in response while closing her notebook and leaning onto her elbows that were flat on the desk separating them to hold her stare as she spoke.

"That might be your goal Natasha, but that's not why you're here, so how about we try to get passed this game of surface level deflection here and you can tell me exactly what I need to hear to get you to where your wife and kids need you to be, and where you deserve to be."

Natasha abruptly stood at the women's words, followed shortly by the slamming of her doors, and when she was about halfway home on her bike she pulled off onto the barren exit and burst into tears. Thirty minutes later she was back in the office, and angrier than ever.

"Listen, this is all so fucking pointless! Y/N deserves better than me, she always has. I'm nothing more than a trained killer, these hands were designed to inflict pain, not to show love. I was selfish, I wanted something I was never meant to have, and now they're suffering because I can't live up to it. My son won't even look at me now that Y/N's back home, and my daughter is still so angry because I taught her to be nothing more than that. Y/N's trying to fix me, but I don't think that's possible, why can't she fucking see that? She wants me to let go, but it would be so much easier if she was to do it instead, she should just let me go..."

"Well that's just not true Mrs. Romanoff, I'm sat here before you and I see so much more than what you are saying. You are a wife, and a mother, and just because you obviously feel undeserving doesn't change the fact that you've made these decisions that led to where you are. We also both know you wouldn't even be here if you wanted her to leave you. Something I'd said clearly upset you, and you're just trying to protect yourself. Self preservation can be just as detrimental as it can be beneficial."

Natasha's anger was slowly fading to sadness, feet moving of their own accord to have her sitting down before her therapist once more, her cracked heart somewhat ready to listen to reason.

"Here's what I'm going to offer you from this moment forward. You'll be honest, completely, because I'm here to help you out—not judge, and there's nothing you'll say that will scare me off either. I'm the Avengers shrink for Christ sake, none of you got here because you had normal upbringings. Honesty is the only way we get you healed Natasha, so if you're down to try, I'm here to help. If you're not then I fear you'll lose everything, and as much as you try to hide from me I can see the fear in your eyes at that very prospect. I'm not in the business of sugar coating—you won't survive this loss."

—

The next few sessions work much the same, Natasha tells partial truths, gets called out, and then after a moment of anger she reveals more of herself to the shrink, and little by little you begin to take notice of her at home.

The new effort she is putting forth is obvious, and you can easily tell it's organic and not some temporary forced fix to convince you. Without overstepping, or halting her progress you make a conscious effort to give her more. Subtle initiations of physical contact, late night walks as a family, and family movie nights with the Barton's where you sit beside her and allow your fingers to brush. Natasha appreciates the intimacy, but she'd be lying to say she doesn't want more, feeling like she's flirting with the idea of dating her wife is just strange to her.

—

"So, Natasha, it's been two months, and as great as this is going we've already reached a sort of plateau, I know somethings holding us back. How are things with Mason? Let's talk about him and what is it that changed be—."

"You know, Lily did this adorable thing when she was a baby. She'd purse her little lips, and just blow these little spit bubbles, Y/N thought it was so gross, but it was honestly really cute."

"Natasha, we're talking about Mason here."

"There's nothing to say, he's my son, but clearly I'm not his mama..." She snaps, a certain edge to her voice that shows she's uncomfortable, but is that not what therapy's meant for...?

"He's three, and you weren't exactly there, if I remember correctly you missed his last birthday."

"I was on a mission..." She weakly defends, but from previous sessions they both know it was an avoidable one.

"Doesn't change the fact that he has a right to be hesitant of you, but you however have no right to give up on him, so let's go through the days leading up to his birth. There has to be something we're missing here, or better yet something you're holding onto and refusing to let go."

"Everything was fine."

"Natasha, stop deflecting."

"No, it was, Y/N was so cuddly and needy just like when she was pregnant with Lily, it was perfect. Then she gave birth, and when we got home he just wouldn't stop crying, and I-I..."

Natasha can't exactly fight the tears as she is violently thrown into an unfavorable memory from her past, one that she'd suppressed with a bottle of vodka within the same night—perks of being the top widow at the time.

•~~~~~•~~~~~•—•~~~~~•~~~~~•

"Natalia, these are the targets, leave nothing behind. Are we clear?"

"Yes madam." Natasha monotonously responds, politely grabbing the file out of her hand then she's making her way to the weapons room to gather her collection.

She'd taken two trains and a bus, completely undetected, and she's just as efficient when she climbs into the German Townhouse to wait for her targets to return home. The file, as usual, proclaims these individuals to be traitors of the highest degree and she knows better than to ask for clarification. Harsh training had left her void of the will to ask, but it never left her without a deep pain in her chest.

She was observant as can be, the room she climbed into told her that she'd been sent to kill someone's parents, but the file didn't. Natasha was trained to kill, it was an effortless swan's dance at this point, but killing children was a hard concept for her, she'd never been made to kill one before, and she's not entirely sure she had it in her.

The sound of a door clicking announced to her of their return, she shook the fear from her heart and made her way through the halls. The parents knew immediately that this was it, the cold breeze in their house enough of a warning, but they knew better than to run. Instead they shoved their four year old into the specialty designed closet, texted a friend for his safe retrieval, then sat on the couch.

Natasha rounded the corner to see them, their pensive expression telling her that they're ready, so she makes it a quick process for them. Two silenced gunshots, one between his eyes, the other right through her chest, then she goes to head for the closet; mind on autopilot as she wills her body to kill the innocent child, after already killing the most likely just as innocent parents.

"Bitte tu ihm nichts, sie wissen nichts von ihm, lass ihn gehen. Er ist ein guter Junge"

(Please dont hurt him, they don't know about him, let him go. he's a good boy.)

Natasha hesitates with her hand over the closet doorknob, she could just go, her mission for all they know is completed, but she had express instructions to leave nothing behind, and nothing includes witnesses, but he had yet to see her face.

"Das verspreche ich." The dying mother pulls her from her internal debate as she pleads once more for her sons life.

(I promise)

Natasha sees the look in her eyes, the honesty jumping out as the life itself drains from them, and Natasha decides in the moment it is best to leave him be, so she wipes the gun to place in the husbands hands, then she disappears into the shadows.

"Mama.. Mama wake up.." He cries over the limp body, her green eyes notice his desperate pair of blue from the shadows she hides in.

His tears never stop, heartbreaking sobs continue to leave him as he lays his head over his mothers chest, her stilled heart beneath his ears. Her own guarded heart shattering as she watches the innocence slowly leaves him, the same way she'd watched it leave Yelena's, all the while ignoring the little girl that she once was. She finally leaves the scene after the boy's received safe passage, but his cries for his mama never once leave her mind, deeply etched into her heart, left there to remind her every day that she is the monster they set out to make her.

•~~~~~•~~~~~•—•~~~~~•~~~~~•

"Natasha, that wasn't your fault."

"Yes it was, why can't you see that?"

The shrink stops herself from interjecting, seeing this as a potential breaking point for the former assassin as she'd yet to tremble like this before.

"What's worse is that was my last mission before my deflection, the same one that left me to murder a little girl in the name of freedom. Couldn't kill him, but for an end to my own suffering I could kill her, and it turns out I didn't even do that right; I just disfigured her and left her and my little sister Yelena behind to fend for themselves against that vile man—I'm no better than he is, can't you see?"

Miss Montague takes cautious steps to kneel before Natasha who's sat on the couch, taking her hands into her own for the obvious needed comfort, and Natasha's teary eyes lift to meet her softened brown ones.

"How can I hold my crying baby, and try to soothe him and allow him to find comfort in calling me mama when that little boy never got to do the same?"

"Natasha, you didn't have any say in the matter, and when given the choice you actively spared him. Nothing you did is something that I can forgive you for, and it seems to me you're unwilling to forgive yourself. You have to stop torturing yourself for the things you were forced to do, you need to then seek forgiveness, and maybe then you can forgive yourself too."

"What? Am I just meant to find him and say 'Sorry for killing your parents?'" Natasha snaps at her shrink for what's probably the millionth time, but Montague isn't phased.

"No, that's too literal, and a bit morbid. Seek it out where you can actually get it."

"Please, stop speaking in riddles for once!!" She groans, hands yanked back to run down her face in frustration.

"Yelena—start there, you've made amends, but now go and say sorry again like you mean it. Next apologize to Y/N, share with her what you can, then say you're sorry for the last three years you couldn't be who she needed you to be. Then finally, look Mason in his eyes, and force yourself to feel the love he has for you. When Y/N left he trusted you enough to care for him, and when given no choice you were able to do it; it's honestly likely his hesitation is spurred on by your own to let him love you."

Natasha nods in sudden understanding, frantically jumping to her feet she bids her goodbye with the promise of seeing her next week, because they're far from done here. Leaving to race off to Yelena's, a pitstop for booze a necessity before she's then pounding on her sister's door.

"Natasha, what are you doing here? Did something happen to Y/N? The kids?"

"I'm sorry."

Yelena, though confused, closes the door as her frantic—seemingly unhinged—sister brushes past her to sit on the couch and pops open two entire bottles of vodka.

"Natasha, what are you—?"

"Sidet!"

Yelena sits, not entirely sure why she's taking orders from her sister in her own house but alas she does it, gratefully accepting the bottle of booze in temporary lieu of an explanation.

Natasha and Yelena drink silently for an hour before the redhead bleeds her heart out to her little sister, to which Yelena embraces her wholeheartedly, and repeatedly reassures her that she's more than forgiven. Truly, both of them needed this moment of brutal unpacking. Yelena feels far less alone in hearing her sister's struggles when compared to her very own, and Natasha never realized how much she needed the forgiveness of her mladshaya sestra until she genuinely had it.

"Natalia, I forgive you, and I love you so much..."

——

Natasha's appointment had been at 2PM, and seeing as how she missed the family movie night you were feeling a whole hell of a lot when she still hadn't shown at 10PM. An all too familiar pain reemerging in your chest as you start to think that all the progress had been an elaborate ruse, that your marriage was over.

The wine clouded your mind, and the tears readily fell as you began to come to terms with the end of all you'd ever wanted. Sounds, and visuals around you blurred, leaving you to miss the jingling keys, and the fast approaching steps, all that brings you out of it is the feel of rough hands holding your face.

"Detka, what's wrong?"

Her voice—deep, sexy, full of love and concern, but mostly infuriating.

"Don't touch me."

Natasha ignores you, quickly lifting your body up and carrying you out to the porch to avoid waking the kids.

"I thought you were getting better, but it appears to me it was a short lived fantasy." You seethe as soon as she settles you down.

"Detka..."

"No, I'll have all your stuff packed by tomorrow night, you can stay at the Barton's."

Natasha's hands firmly grip you by the shoulders, guiding your body into the pillar before she shouts in your face.

"I'm sorry!"

Natasha and apologies don't usually happen often, so your mouth shuts and your eyes widen, opening the floor for her to elaborate.

"We had a breakthrough today..."

Her trembling lip, and disheveled features finally catch in your visual, so without a second thought you pull her into your embrace and settle the both of you down in the swinging chair, hand over her own to comfort her.

"I went to see Lena, and we had a breakthrough of our own actually..."

Her fingers play with the rings on your fingers, head adjusting on your shoulder so that she could peer up at you when she spoke next.

"... I've done bad things Y/N/N, and I'm scared that if I tell you exactly what I've done you'll run, and that'll hurt me so much worse than you leaving because I pushed you to do it."

"Have a little more faith in me Nat, I didn't exactly enter this relationship lightly, nor did I bring children into the world with you without thinking it through. I know enough about your past to know you've been made to do some horrific things but that's neither her nor there. Your past changes nothing for me, because above all else I know your heart, and it's gold... After the last three years I wouldn't still be fighting for us if I didn't know that my Natty is still in there deep down."

Natasha sobs against your chest, but unlike the last few times it's obvious to you this isn't a pity party, or some ploy to get you to give in; this is raw, unadulterated pain and you can tell that much by the way her body violently shakes and how she has to work overtime just to breathe air into her lungs, her heaving chest without reprieve causes a panic to settle deep within your body.

Terrified you do just about everything you can to calm her down, but the only thing that ends up working is the shock of your lips firmly pressed to hers. Once she catches up she's desperately trying to kiss you back, hands linking around your neck to keep you planted there, and for just a moment you give into the euphoric feeling of having your wife's body flush against your own, arms wrapped tightly around her waist.

"Tasha, honey... Let's focus here..."

"I'm so sorry Y/N, I never meant to hurt you this badly, I was just so scared..."

"I get that honey, but what exactly happened?"

"Mason... He—."

Your heart twinges in anger at the mention of your beautiful son's name, but you hold back, allowing her the chance to explain before you prematurely lose it on her.

"He triggered something in me, I'd buried it for so long that I'd began to live my life like it never even happened, and that just makes it so much worse because I didn't deserve to forget. I deserved to feel miserable for what I did."

"Did you have a choice?"

"I don't know, it was my hands was it not?"

"Tasha, just tell me what you need to, help me to understand. I want to forgive you, and most of me already has, but you need to work with me. You can't just say Mason's the problem, then not tell me why, that's our son in there."

"That's not what I said, I said he triggered me, he's not the problem, he never was, I am." She huffs angrily, all her previous sadness from the painful memories crashing down on her again.

"None of that either Tasha, you're not the problem, you're just dealing with them. What do you need from me? A promise? I promise that I love you, and no matter what you say I still will."

"I-I love you too..." She quietly whispers as she takes a steadying breathe before sitting up straighter to finally open her heart to you in every way that she always should've.

Natasha candidly speaks, and you quietly listen while using your legs to get the chair to swing. Watching the pain swirling beneath her eyes and using your touch to soothe her as best you could, but your heart was absolutely breaking for the uncharacteristically fragile woman. Her words eventually died off once her twisted tales came to an end, she just resided in your lap, sniffling every once in awhile as she came down from her heightened storytelling and you got your thoughts together.

"Oh honey, my beautiful, sweet angel, none of that was your fault, and you shouldn't have to carry the burden of it either. You won't want to hear this but you were just as innocent as he was, you were just doing what you had to to survive, and the fact that you hesitated told me that boy was always safe with you. These hands of yours are built to love, and have been used to do so countless times, and I know they'll continue to do so as we navigate through this life together." You reason, your right hand rising, thumb slowly tracing over her features while wiping away at her tears, and pulling her lip from between her teeth before dropping to lift her hand up, and slowly linking your hands to provide emphasis to your words.

"I mean, look at you now. Everything they said you couldn't be you became it anyways in spite of them, you became a mother, you're my wife, and fuck Nat, you're even a superhero. So many little kids look up to you; for all the lives that you've been made to take you've made up for it tenfold with the one's you've saved." You reply, an obvious air of anger to your tone as you passionately do so, only really softening at the subtle flinching of her features.

"That little boy, as tragic as his story was is most likely doing just fine Nat. Children are so incredibly resilient, and he was so young that his brain most likely shielded him as he aged. The only ones to blame here are the redroom—Dreykov or Madam, shit—even his parents. They brought him into the world knowing the enemies they made, and instead of protecting him they left him open to a world of hurt. A parents love for their child is supposed to be strong enough to put them first, and they failed to do that, they were selfish and held onto him until their dying breath, and nearly cost him his own life."

Natasha's face twists as your hopeful words hit, she'd never imagined him as doing anything other than suffering, so to imagine he somehow overcame it and is thriving is a nice perspective, and she knows you're more than likely right.

"Forgive yourself for not being able to undo all the pain you've caused so that you can finally be free Natalia; Forgive yourself for not being the person we all needed you to be; Forgive your inner child for the life she never got to live, and learn to heal her through our kids; Forgive yourself so that we can love you fully, because that's all we all want to do."

Natasha's body began to tremble once again as your words permeated deep into her psyche, but then a soft sniffle from the left caught both of your attentions, the assassins head lifting and her bleary eyes settling on the petrified young boy. Stood there with a thumb in his mouth, a blanket and teddy clutched to his chest, and eyes shining with unshed tears.

"Mama, please no cry..." He himself sobbed, tiny empathetic body rushing to climb onto the swing, struggling as he does.

He forcefully squeezed into the space between the both of you, laying his blanket over his legs and delicately placing his teddy into her arms while twisting and throwing his tiny arms tightly around her neck and burying himself against her. Natasha's right arm stays behind your back, but her left desperately clings to his body, and once her eyes meet your adoring ones the dam breaks wide open, tears never stopping no matter how hard he pleaded with her through his own sobs to stop, both only ever ceasing to do so when the both of them fell asleep on your lap.

"Hey there, need some help?"

Your gaze slowly travels from the peaceful faces sat upon you over to Clint, and he sends you an easy smile.

"How'd you find us?" You tease the former spy, and he quirks his brow at you playfully before gesturing to the brunette who was stood in watch upon the porch next door.

He's quick to approach with buff arms at the ready to free you from your pretty comfortable confinement. He follows behind you with the mother son duo still fast asleep against his chest, and you open the door to your shared room for him to settle them down in the bed.

"You going to sleep in there with them tonight?" He quietly asks you as he leaves the door open just a crack, and judging by the inflection in his voice he's clearly aware of your sleeping schedule as of late.

"Mhm, I'm just going to get her some Tylenol, and water for the headache she's likely to have come morning, thanks for your help Clint." You politely reply, avoiding his attempt to snoop for his wife—the sneaky little minx she is, then you wish him a goodnight while locking the doors.

Shutting down the house you happily throw back the remainder of your wine glass before making your way to bed, nearly going into the guest on instinct before redirecting your feet. Upon entering the room you see Natasha had shifted to her back, and Mason was completely on top of her, then you noticed the slightly older child had found residence in your spot, so you gently shifted her slumped form over to crawl into the bed.

"Fuck... We're never almost divorcing again." You quietly groaned at the feel of the tempur-pedic mattress beneath your aching back.

"Please, can we not? The couch really sucks..." Natasha whispers back, and you peep open one eye to see her staring at you while her hand soothing runs down Mason's spine.

Both of you share a bittersweet chuckle, locked eyes conveying all the rest of the unspoken words, and though there's still a lot of work to do, you're more than content knowing that your Natasha's the one laying beside you.

——(Bonus)

"I go with mama!" Mason shrieks as you hold his wiggling form while waiting in the insanely long line for Dumbo, Lily stood beside you with a 'not this ride' face, and you feel rather giddy at the thought of having tricked her into thinking that 'Its A Small World' is the best ride yet, and that's what's up next.

"Yes, you will go with mama!" Natasha beams, with a proud smile when she looks to you, lightly pecking your lips while seamlessly passing the churro over to your hand in exchange for the toddler.

"Thank you honey." You cheer, followed by a moan as the flavors melt onto your tongue, and after only two bites in peace you reluctantly give all present parties a bite, to then losing the treat all together as Mason bats his eyes at you.

"You're welcome." She giggles, then your group is suddenly ushered into the fast pass lane when Natasha's recognized by a worker.

"Perks of being a superhero." You muse with a wink thrown her way as you lift Lily up and into the elephant.

After the initial jolt into the air you admit that flying through the sky is nice, your heart also soaring at the sight of your reluctant daughters subtle quirked lips, desperately trying to hide her satisfaction with the ride, and also at the way your wife and son are happily flying in front of you. Natasha's smile never once falls as he happily dances in the seat beside her, finger nonstop pointing out all the magical sights that Disneyland has to offer.

"Mommy..."

"Yes Lil?"

"I love you..."

"I love you too angel." You coo, placing a kiss to her forehead as the ride settles, along with all the residual tension this year had to bring.

Meeting your wife at the exit with a tired six year old on your hip you find she has the much more energetic three year old sat upon hers, naturally the both of you link your free hands and set off in search of your next big adventure.

—————————————————————

10,135 Words — Jesus this was definitely a lot.

Sorry if it hurts more than you expected, happy for you if it didn't hurt at all, either way enjoy.

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616 notes · View notes

libraryofloveletters · 4 years ago

Note

hi! so i came across your blog just a couple days ago and i love your fics! if possible i have a request for an eddie diaz and buckley!read fic? it might sound like a weird idea and it might not follow the time line. but the reader is a buckley, her and eddie slept together and they were about to start dating. then his wife comes back and the reader leaves la because of that reason. she then comes back 3ish years later with a daughter. her siblings know it’s eddie’s baby and tries to get the reader to tell her, but she doesn’t want to. then eddie some how finds out (you can pick how) and then he tells her that he wants to be apart of both there lives. and one last thing, can the daughter be names stella? (i hope this isn’t to detailed!)

thank you and i hope you have a great day! 😊❤️

Build A Home With Me

Eddie Diaz x Buckley!Reader

Warnings: fem!reader, slight insinuation of cheating, mentions of pregnancy, secret keeping, sibling teasing, alcohol and consumption of

Category: Angst and Fluff, lil mix of both :)

Word Count: 5k

Author’s Note: First of all, thank you for the sweet words! I loved this request and I loved writing it! I hope you liked it!! <3

---

“What time are they going to be back ?” Eddie gets up off the bed, you shrug and grab your phone. You watched as Eddie got dressed, somehow this man always looked perfect. “Y/n ? What time are they coming back ?” he stops in front of the bed, the sound of the front door unlock causing the both of you to look towards your bedroom door.

“Well, I guess now”

“Y/n!” he half whispers, half shouts. “They��re going to kill me” he says, leaning down and tossing your clothes at you. “Not they Eddie, Buck. Buck’s gonna kill you” you laugh.

“Y/n ?! We’re home!” your sister shouted from downstairs. You were currently staying with your sister, Maddie, while you came to visit LA. She was kind enough to let you stay with her because frankly, your brother could be a pain in the ass with all his routines.

“Coming!” you shout back, Eddie grabs your arm as you go to open the door. “My shoes are downstairs” he looks at you, “okay and ? Come down and get them”

“They're down there” his eyes go wide, the idea of your siblings seeing him was absolutely outrageous to him.

“Eddie, I'm a grown woman. I don't think they’ll care.”

“I do! I have to work with Buck, do you know how hard it’ll be if he’s upset about this ?”

“Would you relax? He’s slept with 90% of my friends. Let’s go” you grab Eddie’s hand and pull him down the stairs with you. “Why are you walking so loud fu-” your brother stopped in his tracks.

His little sister and his best friend. Holding hands. Coming down the stairs.

Together.

“Ed- how- wait what ? Since when?” Buck didn't know if he should be upset or congratulate them. “Buck, what’s wrong?” Maddie walks into the living room to see the 3 of you by the stairs.

“Oh hey Eddie, wanna stay for dinner ?”

Buck looks over at Maddie, she didn't seem surprised about the fact that their little sister just came down from her room with Eddie. “Did you know ?” Buck asks her, “I mean yeah, the walls in here aren't exactly thick” she laughs. Eddie’s face was a mix of shame and embarrassment. Buck didn't say anything, he just left the 2 of you by the stairs with Maddie. Eddie looks down at you and glances over to the direction Buck headed in. You shake your head and grab his hand again, giving it a little squeeze.

“Come on guys, dinner’s going to get cold” Maddie smiles, walking towards the kitchen. The two of you follow her to the kitchen. Dinner was quiet, just talk about work and if you plan on moving out to LA which was still undecided as of now. Maddie asked you to help her get another bottle of wine, leaving the guys at the table together.

“How long ?” Buck slouched in the chair, taking a sip of his beer. Eddie couldn't remember the last time he felt like this, he knows Buck is his best friend but right now, Buck was y/n’s brother and not his best friend.

“A few days after you introduced us at the station”

Eddie watched Buck. He was doing the math in his head, Eddie’s fingers drummed against his knees under the table, Buck looked over at him. “That’s almost 4 months”

“It is”

“And you didn’t tell me”

“Buck, man, she didn't want anyone to know”

“Yeah she’s always been a private person” Eddie gave him a slight smile. “Did you introduce her to Chris ?”

“Yeah, a few weeks ago. They really like each other”

Maddie’s voice interrupted their conversation. “I have pie, who wants?” she turns to the fridge, the men give her a mumble which she takes as a yes. You make your way back over to the table, standing behind your brother’s chair.

“So?” your hand rested on his shoulder, his hand comes up and pats yours, he glances over his shoulder and smiles at you.

“Really ?” you smile at him, he nods. You lean down and kiss his cheek. Eddie watches the two of you, you remind him a lot of his relationship with his sisters when he lived at home. Maddie comes back to the table with a few plates in one hand and a pie in the other.

“I should get going” Eddie stands from his seat, “Oh are you sure ? You don't want to stay for dessert ?” Maddie asks him, he shakes his head.

“Thank you but I should get home to Chris” he comes around the table and pats Buck’s shoulder on his way over to Maddie.

“Thank you for dinner” he gives her a hug, she wraps her arms around him.

“Anytime, come by anytime and it doesn’t have to be just to sleep with her,” she laughs, “you can just hang out if you want”

“Hey, I'll walk you out” you reach for his hand, Eddie follows you to the door. He stepped outside, the cool air blowing into the house, you leaned against the door.

“How long until the team knows?” you ask, he chuckles. “Maddie’ll tell Chim, Chim’ll tell Hen, she’ll tell Athena and then Bobby’ll find out”

“So let’s give it two days ?”

“2 days.”

The two of you are just standing there, looking at each other, not saying anything. Eddie grabs your hands, “can I tell you something ?”

“Anything”

“You know how I'm trying to get Chris into that new school ? And I went for the interview”

“Yeah, did everything go okay ?”

“Yeah no, everything’s fine. It’s just that, uh- well you see,”

“Eddie, spit it out”

“They want to interview Shannon” he looks at you, your face is unreadable. Eddie’s brows furrow, he’s trying to read your expression.

“His mom, right? Did you tell her? Because if that’s what it’ll take to get Chris in, you should tell her”

Eddie sighed, a feeling of relief washed over him, “I thought you’d be upset”

“Why ? It’s for Chris plus, nothing’s going on between you guys, right ?” looking at him, you were now trying to read his expressions.

“Nothing’s happening, I haven’t seen her in years”

Eddie gave your hand a reassuring squeeze. You smiled at him and pulled him into a hug. “Go home now, they're probably wondering where I am” you whisper to him, Eddie’s hands come up to your face.

“Goodnight y/n”

“Good night Eddie”

Anger, sadness, you didn't know which one you felt the most of right now.

Eddie stood across from you, the two of you were in the living room of his house. Initially you had come by to spend the day with him and Chris, and to see how the interviews went. Upon arriving, you realized that Chris wasn’t home, Eddie told you that he was out with Shannon for lunch.

“I didn’t- no, let me explain.” he looked over at you, taking a step over to you. You stepped back, you didn't want to be near him right now.

“Explain then.”

“She was feeling vulnerable, she felt like what happened to Chris was her fault and she was crying. She was blaming herself and felt horrible for leaving. I was just trying to comfort her.”

“you couldn't comfort her without kissing her ?” you spat, your words laced with anger.

“Y/n, I didn't mean too. I pulled away, she kissed me” he tried to defend himself.

You asked him the impossible question, the one he knew was coming, the one he didn't have an answer too.

“Do you still love her?” you looked over at him, his answer would determine the rest of this relationship.

“I’ll always love her, she's Christopher’s mother.”

“Eddie, yes or no. Do you love her ? It doesn’t matter if she’s Chris’s mom.”

Eddie didn't say anything, he just stood there. You nodded, running your hand through your hair. Picking up your bag, you pull something out of your bag. Eddie watched your every move, he could see the hurt on your face, he truly never meant to hurt you, that was never his intention. Stepping towards him, you shove the picture frame from your bag to him.

“This was for you” you say, Eddie looks down at the frame. It was a picture of the 3 of you. The 2 of you had taken Chris to the zoo one weekend and taken a few pictures, it was a picture from that weekend in one of the colourful frames from the gift shop.

“When did you -”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Eddie followed your steps to the door, he watched you walk out on him. Once you go to the car, you look back at him, “You know, I hope things work out between you and Shannon, for Chris’s sake. He deserves to have both of his parents in his life.”

Once again, Eddie doesn't say anything. He watches as you get in the car and pull out of the driveway. He watches you drive down the street, he watches until he can no longer see you.

On the other side of the city you sat in the car. How do you tell your siblings that you ended it with Eddie because he kissed his wife? It’s not that you didn’t know he was married, he had told you but he also told you that it didn't even count to him, she wasn’t around.

Was there even something to end ?

The two you aren’t exactly exclusive nor did you ever say that you weren’t dating. Maddie and Buck were both at work, you took the time to go inside and pack up your things. You didn't want to leave like this but you couldn’t bring yourself to tell them in person, simply for the selfish reason that it would hurt you and to see Buck’s face when you have to tell him why you’re leaving would break you. You took all these things into consideration when you wrote the letter to them.

To my Buck and Maddie,

I love you both dearly, let me just start by saying that. I’m sorry that I had to leave so suddenly and with no explanation. There’s nothing here for me, at least not what I came in search of.

The two of you are my whole world, you know that. These last 5 months have been some of my favourites but our time has come to an end, at least for now. I promise I’ll come back and visit soon but I can’t stay here, not right now. I need to leave, to get myself together. I know what the two of you are thinking right now (I’m a Buckley too, don’t forget that) that you can help me get myself together but you can’t.

The reason why I’m leaving is Eddie. Well, not entirely, he didn’t tell me to leave but I feel like I should, for his sake and for Chris’s. As you both know, Eddie and I have been seeing each other but we never made it official, we just - well I just assumed we were. I went to see him today and he said he kissed Shannon and he still loves her, he “always will” so I told him that whatever we had is over and that I hope things work out for him and Shannon because Chris deserves his parents in his life, together, if they can make it work. I couldn’t tell you this in person because it would hurt, hurt me and hurt the both of you. Please remember it was my choice to leave, don’t take it out on Eddie (especially you Buck) he didn’t do anything wrong, I knew he was still married to her. If anything, I was the other woman and I don’t know why I allowed myself to get sucked into that.

Regardless of what happened between Eddie and I, don’t let that change the way you treat him. He’s a good man and he deserves happiness. I’ll find mine too, even if it’s not with him. I love you both, I’ll call you when I get home.

All my love,

Y/n.

---

*4 years later*

Buck’s birthday was this weekend. He didn’t have plans but in Buckley fashion, Maddie wouldn’t let his birthday go uncelebrated. Hence why you found yourself wandering the terminal at the airport, waiting on your brother to pick you up.

“Uncle Buck!” the little girl shouted and sprinted down the terminal to the man in the green shirt. “Stella!” he shouted, meeting her halfway and picking her up. You made your way over to your brother, “hey birthday boy” you smile and pull him in for a hug. “Hey you, you know it’s not my birthday yet right ?”

“I know, can't I be excited ? I missed your stupid face”

“Oh thanks” he rolls his eyes playful, he’s carrying Stella with one arm and pulling a suitcase with the other. You tugged the other suitcase alone with you as the 3 of you make your way over to the car. Buck gets Stella strapped into the car suit and then gets in. Halfway through the drive, Stella falls asleep, she kept insisting on staying up the entire plane ride and kept talking about how excited she was to see her aunt and uncle. The car ride was quiet for the most part. Buck asked how your flight was, he caught you up on his life, you told him about Stella’s first day of school.

“Who’s coming tomorrow ?”

“Maddie and Chim, Hen and Karen, Bobby and Athena,”

“Bobby and Athena.. as a couple ?”

“Yeah, they got married”

“And neither of you told me?” you smacked his arm, he whined.

“Hey! I'm driving! anyways, Eddie and Chris are coming too”

That’s who you really asked the question about, you wanted to know if you’d be seeing him tomorrow.

“How’s Chris ?”

“He’s good, he’s grown up a lot since you last saw him.”

The rest of the drive was quiet, you watched as the cars passed by and you couldn't help but think what could have been if maybe things had ended differently. Buck carried a sleeping Stella up to his apartment, you followed him with the luggage. Chim opened the door, Buck went to carry Stella up to his bed so she could get a proper nap. Chim helped you with the luggage.

“Y/n! it’s so good to see you again” he hugs you, you smile. “It’s good to see you too! I missed you guys. Where's the boss lady ?” you follow Chim’s glance to the stairs, Maddie was giving Stella a kiss as Buck took her up.

“Mads!”

“Y/n!”

She came down and pulled you into a bone crushing hug, “god I missed you”

“I missed you even more”

After everyone was situated, Maddie began naming off jobs. “Chim, cake and balloons tomorrow, pick up is at 2. Y/n and I will decorate, Bobby said he’s got most of the cooking done and Athena will help him. Hen and Karen offered to get a banner, I just said yes because who doesn't love a banner?” she laughed, you, Buck and Chim exchanged glances. “And Buck, you just be ready.”

“As for right now, boys we need beer.” she said, the two of them standing there, looking at each other cluelessly.

“Go! That means go!” you say, Buck groaned and dug his keys from his pocket.

“I forgot how bossy the two of you are together” he teased, you pushed him towards the door and they headed out.

You and Maddie were sitting on the couch, planning out the last minute details. “Stella’s gotten so big” she says, flipping through the binder in front of her. “Yeah, she keeps surprising me everyday” you chuckle.

“She looks a lot like him” Maddie glances at you, the smile drops from your face and you nod.

“His twin, she acts like him too. The same pulled together emotions, she’s a fighter just like her dad”

“That’s good”

“No I mean, she really is a fighter. She hit some kid for taking her snack”

Maddie and you ended up in a laughing fit as you tell her the story. Sometime later, the sound of little feet pattering down the stairs caught your attention. “Auntie Maddie!” your daughter shouted as she straight to her aunt in the kitchen. “Hi sugarplum!” Maddie picked her up and gave her a hug. “I missed you” she says to her aunt, Maddie smiled at the little girl, “I missed you too”

Chim and Buck come in a few minutes later, you were laying on the couch watching tv and Maddie had Stella up on the counter, they were having some sort of dance party in the kitchen. “Who’s this pretty girl with you?” Chim asks Maddie as he walks over to him.

“This is Stella, my niece, she looks like me that's why she's pretty” Maddie tells him proudly, you roll your eyes at her comment and you hear Buck groan. “Shut it, you're just jealous you’re not hot like me” she gives Buck a look.

“Stella, this is my boyfriend, Chim” Stella takes a seat on the counter, looking at the man for a few seconds before saying anything. “Are you a firefighter ? Like uncle Buck?”

“I am, how’d you know?” he asks her

“Magic,” she giggles

“I might have to hire you for my next party then,” Chim jokes, “it’s very nice to meet you Stella” he lifts his hand to give her a high five, Stella pulls him into a hug instead.

The 5 of you have dinner before Maddie and Chim head out. You, Buck and Maddie were in the kitchen going over something and Chim sat with Stella on the couch. He was teaching her how to play some video game Buck left on, “uncle Chim?” the little girl called to him, he smiled at her and the fact that she called him uncle Chim.

“Yeah?”

“This game is weird” her face screws into a weird expression, Chim laughs, “it is, isn't it ? How about we go see if Buck has ice cream ?”

Before he could get up, Stella had already ran off to the kitchen, Chim trailing behind her. Stella tugged on Buck’s hand, he looked down at her, “Do you have ice cream ?”

“In the freezer, do you need help ?”

“Nope”

She let go of his hand and waddled off to get the ice cream from the freezer. You lifted her onto the counter and opened the container for her. Your back was turned for a moment to get her a bowl and a spoon, turns out she had already found a spoon and was eating straight out of the container. Sometime after that, Buck decided he was going to bed, Stella didn’t like that idea so she followed him up the stairs and began bouncing on the bed.

“Stels, come on, I'm tired” he told her, he watched the little girl bounce up and down on the bed.

“No! I'm not tired, come bounce with me!” she shouted, Buck sighed.

“5 minutes okay ?” Buck gets up on the bed with her.

You were in the kitchen with Maddie and Chim, “excuse me for a minute, let me go get her before she kills Buck with her energy” you left them in the kitchen by themselves.

Chim turns to Maddie, “Stella’s dad didn't want to come down for the party?” he sees how Maddie tenses up for a moment.

“Uh, her dad isn't really in the picture”

“Oh, does he know about her?”

“No”

The conversation drops, Maddie stands by the window and Chim makes his way over to her. “You know, she looks a lot like Eddie” he looks over at Maddie, her focus on something outside the window. “Maddie ?”

“She’s his daughter”

“He doesn’t know?”

“Y/n left LA right when his wife came back. She found out she was pregnant a few weeks later. She had me and Buck, she didn’t want to drag Eddie into it.”

“Shannon died, Maddie. She could have told him.”

“That’s exactly why she didn’t. He just lost his wife, she didn’t want to drag Stella into a messy relationship, Eddie needed time and she gave that to him.”

“Do you know if she’s going to tell him ?”

“I don't know, but that’s not our decision to make. What you heard here, stays here. Promise me that” she looks over at Chim, she loved that man with her whole heart but he wasn’t exactly the best at keeping secrets.

“I promise”

Turns out you can plan a party in a week.

Everyone had arrived at Buck’s place, everyone was scattered around the apartment. Bobby and Athena in the kitchen with Karen and Maddie, Chim and Hen were by the tv with the kids, Buck was still upstairs trying to find something to wear. Stella ran over to you as you came back down from the kitchen. “Mom, look!” she pointed at the cake that was on the table, “I see it sweetie”

“Can I have some pleaseeeee?” she looked up at you, “a little later, you gotta let Buck blow out the candles first okay ?”

She ran off to go play with Nia and Denny. Someone knocked on the door but no one else seemed to hear it, you walked over and opened the door.

There he was.

“Y/n!” Chris wrapped his arms around your waist, you leaned down slightly and hugged him. “hey buddy, how are you ?”

“I’m good, I missed you”

“Awh, I missed you too”

You could feel Eddie’s eyes burning into you as you and Chris walked into the apartment, he followed the two of you. Stella came running back over to you. “Stella come meet someone” you called to her, she stood beside you, looking up at Chris.

“Who’s that momma?”

“Chris is uncle Buck’s friend’s son, now you play nice okay ? I don't want trouble”

“I'm Stella!”

“I’m Christopher!”

You crouch down beside her and point to Eddie, “that’s Christopher’s dad, Eddie, why don’t you say hi?” Stella marched up to him, she leaned her head back and looked up at him. “Hi!” she smiled at him, Eddie looked down at the little girl in front of him, she had to be around 3 or 4, she had brown hair and the same smile he did. Eddie glanced at you and then back to Stella and once at Chris.

That couldn’t be a coincidence.

“Hi Stella, I'm Eddie” he smiled at her, she gave him another smile and made her way over to Chris. She began telling him about the plane she took to come see her aunt and uncle, the two of them walk over to Nia and Denny together.

Standing up, you and Eddie are now looking at each other. “Hi” he steps closer to you, you don't move. “Hey” you move slightly closer to him.

“How have you been ?”

“Good, you ?”

“I’m okay, can't complain”

“You never do. Want a beer ?”

“Sure”

Eddie follows you to the kitchen, you pull 2 beers out of the fridge, handing one to him and opening the other for yourself. Standing across from him, he asked you “how old is she ?”

“4″

“How come you never told me you had a baby ?”

“We stopped talking after I left, I wasn’t going to call just to tell you that. I figured Buck would have told you.”

“He didn’t”

Right on cue, the birthday boy came down the stairs. “Wow all of you are here for me ? I must be so special”

“You know you are” Maddie pokes his cheek. Buck went around to say hello to everyone, he started with Eddie. You took that time to leave the very awkward conversation you were having with him and made your way to the kids.

Chim dropped the bottle in the trash and headed to the fridge for another one, the party was well underway and everyone was having a good time. Well, expect for Eddie. He couldn't shake the fact that Stella looked so much like him. “You want another one?” Chim asked him, setting the bottle beside him on the counter. “Yeah, thanks”

The two men stood in the kitchen, chatting about work and just catching up. Chim had a slight buzz going and he kind of let the secret he wasn’t supposed to tell, slip.

“How’s your kid?” he leans back against the counter, looking at Eddie.

“Chris ? He’s good”

Chim shook his head, “no no, Stella”

The bottle nearly fell from Eddie’s hand, he looked at Chim. “What do you mean Stella ?”

Chim realized what he said, he turned the other way and began walking. “Chim!” Eddie grabbed his arm, “what do you mean Stella ?”

“I've already said too m- oh Maddie’s calling for me, bye” Chim walked off and left Eddie standing in the kitchen by himself. Eddie looked over at the little girl sitting beside Christopher, she looked like him, there was no denying it. She had his smile, the same brown hair, she even had the same hazel brown eyes. You were walking into the kitchen when Eddie grabbed your arm.

“What ?” you look at him.

“I need to talk to you”

“Let go of my arm and maybe we can talk” you push his hand off of your arm. Buck made his way over to the kitchen, he could feel the tension. “Is everything okay ?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine Buck, Eddie’s just gonna come with me to get the candles from the jeep, right, Eddie ?”

“Yeah, we’ll be back in a few”

The two of you stepped out of the apartment and walked down to the parking lot. You did forget the candles in the jeep so it wasn’t a total lie. “Is she mine?” Eddie blurts out, you turn to face him. “Is who yours?”

“Stella. Is Stella my daughter ?”

“How’d you-”

“Chim let it slip”

You groaned, Maddie must have told him. It wasn’t a big deal that she told him, it was a big deal that Eddie knew.

“She is.”

“Why didn't you tell me?”

“It didn't make sense too”

“Y/n, she’s my daughter! of course it makes sense to tell me!”

“You had just gotten back with Shannon, I didn't want to drag you back into something you didn't want. I’ve raised her for the last 4 years and I'll continue to do so, it doesn’t have to change now because you know she’s yours.”

“Shannon’s- she’s dead.”

“I know, Buck told me, I'm sorry.”

Eddie let out a sigh, his hand ran through his hair. You stood in front of him, the two of you in the blistering heat, having a conversation you never planned on having.

“She wouldn't have stopped me from being in Stella’s life”

“I know.”

“Why didn't you tell me?”

“Eddie, you had just lost your wife when Stella was born. It didn’t seem like the right time to come to LA and tell you I had a baby, your baby.”

“What about after that ? It's been 4 years y/n”

“Eddie, come on. Would it have made a difference ? It wouldn't have fixed anything. I would have still just been some girl you slept with.”

Eddie looks at you, his expression softened, “is that what you think ? that you're “just some girl” I slept with ?”

You didn't answer him, you didn't have an answer for him. There were so many times you had wanted to call Eddie and tell him about Stella. When she said her first word, took her first steps, her first day of school. You wanted to share all those times with him, like a normal family.

“Y/n,” Eddie stepped towards you. “You were more than just some girl. You always said that Chris deserved to have both of his parents right ? And he did but what about Stella ? Doesn't she deserve that too ?” Eddie’s arms wrap around you, your hands on his chest.

“She does,” you sigh, “I can't just tell her your uncle’s friend is your dad, Eddie.”

“So we’ll take it one day at a time. I want to get to know her, and you. I want you back in my life, in our lives.”

“Eddie, I have a life, a job, Stella has school. We can't just leave everything.”

“As I said, one day at a time. I want this to work, don't you ?”

“I do”

“How about we get lunch ? Or dinner? The 4 of us. If you feel like this is something you want to do, you want us to try and make things work, for the kids, we can. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Eddie pulled you into a hug, things felt at ease for once, like a weight was lifted off your shoulders, you weren't carrying a secret anymore. You never meant to give in so easily but Eddie had this hold over you, one you couldn't shake, regardless of how much time you spent apart. You ended things because of what happened between him and Shannon in a parking lot and here you were, making up with him in a parking lot.

Talk about full circle.

---

taglist: @mikaelson-emma @ssa-volturi @advicefromnixxxx @keenmarvellover @venusrosepetal

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m-y-fandoms · 4 years ago

Text

1 Thing I Love & 1 Thing I Hate About EVERY Danganronpa Character Part 1

Part 2

SPOILERS FOR ALL THREE MAIN GAMES

I’d love to hear our opinions as well in the comments or my inbox or DM’s! If you try this trend with DR characters, tag me!

Sayaka Maizono

♡ Her passion for her career and friends.

✘ The way she tries to screw over Makoto when the game had just begun. Like wait and see what happens before screwing over such a great guy? Leon didn’t deserve it either.

Leon Kuwata

♡ His voice actor (English), and how real and human his execution was in that we all would be so scared and irrational. It was just so iconic and sad as it’s our first introduction to the death in this series and we all think: “shit, this is real... they are really killing these kids.” I didn’t think it would be that brutal, just seeing his body limp at the end with the haunting music.

✘ His design is disgusting. I hate how he looks.

Chihiro Fujisaki

♡ So innocent, so kind, so intelligent

✘ Shouldn’t have been killed for such a stupid reason, also they did Mondo dirty with that motive for killing as well. Just a mess. As for the actual character, Chihiro cries right off the bat when you do your introductions and that was kind of annoying to me personally.

Mondo Oowada

♡ He has a lot of respect, understanding and emotions for someone I thought would be a hard-ass douche biker.

✘ The worst motive to kill ever in a game where you know you’re getting executed if you’re found out. Like you’d be extra careful and that’s his reason to kill? Lazy writing.

Celestia Ludenberg

♡ Bad bitch energy and her goth lolita design.

✘ Manipulation and double murder. Bad bitch energy only goes so far. Confidence is different then selfishness. Also, of all the chapter 3 triple murders... the worst motive to kill.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru

♡ Emotions: secure in his masculinity, able to cry, show emotions, and apologize when he’s wrong. He’s funny and likable.

✘ The Ishimondo white hair thing was stupid. Taka was fine on his own.

Hifumi Yamada

♡ Writing takes talent, fan fiction as much as any other style or genre. Also the talent of his voice actor (who also voices Kiibo/K1-B0).

✘ Literally everything else about him.

Sakura Oogami

♡ I love everything about her. I love her wisdom, loyalty, design, voice etc. Just step on me, mother.

✘ Why the hell would she ever agree to be a spy even if it meant the end of her dojo? I just don’t think she would do that rationally because she isn’t selfish. The others would suffer for her spying. She remedies this with redemption in her letter in chapter 4 but still she should’ve said no off the bat. Everyone had something to lose. The dojo wasn’t worth spying for monokuma. Also I just don’t think she would commit suicide. She can’t help the remaining students survive and redeem herself truly if she’s dead.

Kyoko Kirigiri

♡ Bad bitch energy, calm and collected when I could never be.

✘ Especially in future arc of the anime, damn can you show some emotion please? Through your words and expressions not just your actions. Sure she was willing to “die” for Makoto but like I just want more emotion from her sometimes, even in THH.

Makoto Naegi

♡ So pure. I Love Bryce Papenbrook. Makoto reminds me of Sora and I love his design.

✘ In THH I didn’t mind his innocence but in the Danganronpa 3 future arc anime, when people started straight up abusing him and accusing him, he needed to grow a little backbone.

Byakuya Togami

♡ Love my dad, king shit, also love how over the progression of the games and animes he becomes a little more kind to his friends.

✘ Why the fuck did he mess with Chihiro’s body? Just so cruel and disrespectful.

Yasuhiro Hagakure

♡ Funny magic man. Sexy voice.

✘ Please. Please Hiro use your brain just once. Why do we have to prove Kyoko isn’t a ghost?!

Toko Fukawa

♡ Character development in UDG and I love Genocider.

✘ Putting down herself and others constantly gets old in THH.

Aoi Asahina

♡ Love her voice actress and her personality

✘ We really just gonna get everyone killed in chapter 4 huh? Surely you know they don’t all deserve that.

Junko Enoshima

♡ A very memorable villain with great hair and design.

✘ I just can’t stand her. I hate her so much.

Mukuro Ikusaba

♡ Her mercenary background is super cool as a concept.

✘ Too bad it wasn’t explored nearly enough.

Hajime Hinata

♡ Seeing the protagonist be a little less naive, innocent and positive than Makoto was a refreshing change, although I loved Makoto. I liked Hajime’s cynicism and expressions that sometimes just screamed “this shit again, huh?”

✘ I enjoy the way Izuru looks but I hate him as a character. He is sexy to look at but Hajime is just a better character overall

Teruteru Hanamura

♡ His love for his family and mother especially is so cute and heart breaking if you know the full story.

✘ He needs to know when to dial it back and quit with the perversions. And no it’s not just how he looks, Miu needs to chill at times, too.

Twogami

♡ I feel like he genuinely cares about his friends, just hides it well

✘ His death felt like a cop out and poorly written. It just didn’t sit right with me. Also his design is disgusting to me, his outfit and such.

Mahiru Koizumi

♡ Loyal to her close friends.

✘ I just have no interest in her as a character and I find her boring.

Peko Pekoyama

♡ Loyalty. Loyalty is something I value very highly in every form of relationship. Peko is also very hot.

✘ Come on girl... I know how you were raised but you should’ve known Fuyuhiko didn’t think of you as just a tool and you two should’ve expressed your true feelings long ago. Like even in secret. How do you live like this? Also I feel like killing Mahiru could’ve been avoided with a calm talk.

Ibuki Mioda

♡ Cute design, positive vibes.

✘ Cringe sometimes in the way she talks.

Hiyoko Saionji

♡ Beautiful character design and some very good insults and snarky remarks at times.

✘ Just irredeemably mean and annoying. Even when you do her free time events she is just so annoying.

Mikan Tsumiki

♡ I like her design as well as her hair, expressions, sprites and clothing.

✘ I hate her. I just hate her whether she’s in her true psycho form or timid stuttering form. She’s just annoying in my opinion.

Nekomaru Nidai

♡ So supportive, can hold my drink at a party. Respects everyone and wants the best for them.

✘ Bro Mechamaru was a stupid plot point. I just couldn’t stand looking at him and couldn’t take it seriously. Still sad when he died though.

Chiaki Nanami

♡ From chapter 5 of sdr2 on she is impossible not to love if you didn’t already. Just the selflessness, the sadness of the reveal and execution, how she returns to help Hajime at the end???? I love her. I love her hair design, color palette, her personality, everything.

✘ I’m bitter and miserable about her being the only class member to actually die (the despair arc anime) also her falling asleep at random times is kind of odd and she doesn’t seem to be like that later on in the game??? Like it seemed like a cheap joke but not actually who she is? Hard for me to explain.

Gundham Tanaka

♡ King shit, couldn’t praise him enough. He’s sexy, loves animals, and is funny as hell sometimes. His voice actor is a saint and a cool dude and I named my guinea pigs after the Dark Devas (yes I know they are hamsters in the games.)

✘ Come on dude. I get that being from Hell and magic and having evil powers is your shtick, but we all know that you and Nekomaru sacrificed yourselves so the others wouldn’t starve. We know you care about your classmates. There comes a time when it’s time to let personas and facades fade and be true to your heart. I just feel like him denying he cared at the end hurt. We all know he cared. I didn’t like how he was haughty until the end. He deserved better. I love him.

Nagito Komaeda

♡ I love him so much. So cunning and intelligent, always a step ahead. And he’s big sexy.

✘ Him killing himself in chapter 5 hurt me so bad I was like in denial for days. Also hate how Bryce Papenbrook gives him a raspy stoner psycho voice in the game then a light airy higher-pitched voice in the despair arc anime. It just bothers me. I love his voice still but the inconsistency just hurts my OCD

Sonia Nevermind

♡ I love that she’s so interested in her passions and love her feelings for Gundham

✘ Her outfit and bow are atrocious. Also why didn’t she start liking and talking to Gundham sooner on? Their romance bloomed late and it would’ve made for a better chapter 4 ending if they were a bit closer.

Kazuichi Souda

♡ Cool design and outfit, love his voice (also voices Kaito in V3) and his backstory is relatable at times. He’s also very human in that he’s scared a lot of the time or insecure or blames others in panicked situations. It’s not always a good thing but it’s human and realistic.

✘ Gosh he can be so annoying. Sometimes flirting or whining too much is well... too much.

Akane Owari

♡ Strong-willed and definitely someone I would be friends with

✘ What the hell is her outfit? Gymnasts and athletes don’t wear that shit. Stop objectifying her when it doesn’t even make the product or plot better. Like there’s absolutely no point to making her dress that way. I was a gymnast for 15 years. Even those who do parkour (which Akane seems to do more often than actual gymnastics in the anime and game) don’t wear what she wears. Also she’s underrated.

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu

♡ I love him. He’s the DR character I’m most like out of all the games and anime. Tenko is a close second. I think he’s adorable, love his character arc, development, redemption, and love his voice.

✘ In the anime/despair arc, Fuyuhiko is not done justice. He doesn’t get enough lines, has a different voice actor, just doesn’t give off the same vibes.

Izuru Kamakura

♡ Sexy man long hair good.

✘ Boring character. I wish he were just Hajime.

Kaede Akamatsu

♡ Loyalty and leadership are such attractive qualities in her. Also she faced her death with such class and dignity and I respect her because I could never.

✘ Some of the voice lines Erika does for her are just weird and cringe. Just random moans or grunts... I don’t know it’s like when Ann Takamaki from Persona 5 (also voiced by Erika) makes suggestive noises as well. Just grinds my gears. Also hate her outfit down to the hair pins.

Shuichi Saihara

♡ I love his nasally voice. I love his design and he’s so adorable. I love how emotional and compassionate he can be. He ties with Makoto for favorite protag of mine.

✘ That sprite where he sniffs his hand. And his ugly ass hat.

Rantarou Amami

♡ Sexy man, sexy voice, sexy piercings

✘ Ugly outfit, and wasted potential

Ryoma Hoshi

♡ I respect him and feel bad for his outlook on life and for how poorly he views himself. I love his little hat as well and he’s the first “different styled” character (Hifumi, Bandai, Teruteru) that I liked the design of.

✘ I hate when he says “got a long ways to go,” it’s overused and annoying, and wish he gave himself more credit. Also hate that when you first meet him he warns you that he’s killed people and is dangerous to be around. Come on buddy, you know you wouldn’t hurt your friends. Stop pushing them away.

Kirumi Tojo

♡ Competence, well rounded, skillful

✘ Boring as hell. I wouldn’t waste one free time event on her.

Angie Yonaga

♡ Dark skin, super cute, love her talent as an artist myself.

✘ Gives religious people a bad name and is super manipulative which I hate.

Tenko Chabashira

♡ I relate to her and feel bad when she’s misunderstood. She’s a good person deep down. Also love her sprites.

✘ There’s more cunning, funny and clever ways to write her digs at men.

Korekiyo Shunguuji

♡ I’m in love with this man. Long hair, voice, mystery, mask, intelligence, passion, talent.

✘ He definitely was a victim of abuse and a lot of people refuse to see that and just hate him. Team Danganronpa should’ve given him a redemption arc where he realized his sister abused him and changed.

Gonta Gokuhara

♡ I love his design except for his suit. Also he’s so cute and naive. I cried for his trail.

✘ No need talk like caveman. Better way to do this.

Kokichi Ouma

♡ Like Nagito, I value his intelligence and crazy cunning.

✘ Shouldn't have died. Also shouldn’t have manipulated Gonta. That was just cruel.

Miu Iruma

♡ She has her hilarious moments and her death surprised me and was sad.

✘ Sometimes she lacks basic empathy, i.e. calling Tenko “Tencrotch” when she just fucking died.

Maki Harukawa

♡ Amazing character development. Didn’t see her surviving until the end at the start. Also her love and passion for Kaito.

✘ “Do you wanna die?” gets old.

Kaito Momota

♡ Just the overall best bro you could ever have.

✘ Has some toxic masculinity issues and anger issues.

K1-B0

♡ Pretty much everything about him. His design, his attitude and personality, especially how amazing and cool he is chapter 5 onward, his execution made me so sad. He’s so innocent and funny without trying.

✘ When you do his free time events he’s very arrogant and just talks about himself a lot... it seems odd and not similar to the Kiibo we see throughout the game.

Himiko Yumeno

♡ Super cute design, love her voice and “Nyeh...” and her sprites. Her character development is great as well.

✘ Why did they take so long to make her important and likable?

Tsumugi Shirogane

♡ An excellent and well hidden reveal

✘ I hate her. So annoying, from the voice to the references and her personality.

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enchantedblackrose · 4 years ago

Text

Flesh Wounds & Somedays

Jay Halstead/Reader

¡!Warnings: Infant abduction/kidnapping. SIDS. Violence against women. Swearing. Fluffy ending.

Still unedited, hoping to have the nice version up soon. Sorry in advance! Happy New Year's Eve, everyone! Please be safe ❤

Upon exiting the very stereotypical "mom van" you're greeted with harsh Chicago air stinging your face and it instantly makes your eyes water. You hastily blink back the tears though it's fruitless. Instead you pull the knit hat you're wearing further down your head and pull your scarf tighter. You keep the door open, huddling near the inside of the vehicle. Anything to stay warm. You scan the parking lot for any sign of your suspect. Anxiety starts setting in. It doesn't matter how long you've been doing this. The moments leading up to a confrontation always send your stomach plummeting

"Easy now," Jay, sporting the store employee smock, whispers as he rolls a grocery cart by, indicating to your foot mindlessly tapping against the cement. Immediately you stop. You give him a small smile. He winks in response. You pretend to dig around in your purse, anything to give the impression you're distracted when in reality all your senses are in overdrive.

Voight's voice barks your last name through your strategically placed com. "Suspect approaching from the east. You know what to do. Everyone else, stand down for now! We don't wanna spook him."

You open the back passenger door before closing the driver's. Your fingers work quickly at unfastening the baby from the seat. You then drape a blanket over the baby for protection against the cruel elements.

It's subtle, but you cannot ignore the feeling you're being watched. The reality is you are. Your whole team is looking out for you. But this is something different entirely, something sinister. You suppress a shudder. Securing the blanket once more, you hoist the baby from the carseat and hold the infant against your chest. With a push of a button, the passenger door slides shut. You fiddle with the keys, making sure the van locks before tossing them in your purse.

You coo at the little bundle snuggled against your chest. Your steps deliberately appear hurried.

And that's when he emerges from a dark blue conversion van parked one whole row over. You spot him out of the corner of your eye and he is unmistakably walking towards you. But you stick to the plan. Your pace slows just barely, not wanting your target to sense the change. You also don't want to actually reach the store entrance and potentially bring harm to the public even with Al and Ruzek inside.

He suddenly appears in front of you, eyes frantically dart around before resting on you. He's disheveled. clothes are wrinkled and slightly stained. His greasy, unwashed black hair is plastered to his head. He smiles which unnerves you. But you return it anyway. His grin disappears. "Give me that baby. And you won't get hurt...much" He removes his right hand from his coat pocket and you notice the blade he's gripping. That's new, you think to yourself. He's growing desperate. Still, you have to get him to attempt an attack or abduction.

"No!" You pull the baby impossibly closer to you. "Leave or I'm gonna yell for help." The threat is feeble on purpose but still seems to evoke rage inside the man.

He lunges at you. His body weight sends you stumbling but you remain on your feet. He wildly pulls at your arms and at the baby, trying to break your grasp. He swings his left arm and his fist perfectly catches your eye.

"Son of a bitch!" You cry. Your foot slams onto one of his and you use that moment to headbutt him square on his chin. He lets out a primal scream before sticking the blade into your upper thigh and you can't help but yelp in pain. He tugs the baby out of your arms. The blanket drops to the ground.

You watch the changing expressions dance across his ugly face: anger, elation at his success, confusion.

"What the hell?"

It's the opening you need. Your weapon is drawn on him. "That's right, you stupid son of a bitch. The baby's fake. Chicago PD! Get down, face down."

Still in his stupor, he obeys. You kick the blade away just as Antonio and Jay come running from opposite directions. Antonio searches and mirandizes him. You return your gun to its inside waistband holster.

As your adrenaline begins to slow, you feel exactly how much pain you're in. It's evident that your eye has started to swell and there's a throbbing sensation in your thigh. You stagger a bit, but a pair of strong arms steady you.

He sighs and you look at Jay. "Don't start," you warn.

"I should have been there. I ended up carrying groceries for this old lady..." Guilt is written all of his handsome features.

"Did she tip you?" You joke, but he stares at you. "Stop. We knew this might happen. He had to attack me." The rest of the team appears and Jay drops his voice to a whisper.

"Yeah, attack like come at you, not actually harm you." He looks as if he's about to argue more when the sound of tires squealing interrupts.

You flash concern. "He wasn't alone." Your eyes meet those of your colleagues.

Voight breaks the silence. "Antonio, get that piece of garbage out of here.Halstead, get her to Med. The rest of you let's head back." You open your mouth to protest, but Hank won't even let you get a word in. "That leg's gonna need stitches. Now go." He stares at you until you move. Jay lends his support as you gently lean into him. It's not as needed as it is comforting.

You were seen and stitched in no time; the wound to your thigh was mostly superficial. Your swollen eye, which was now bruising, was being iced. You would have left Med sooner if your weirdly overcautious boyfriend hadn't insisted that his own brother see you before checking out. It took Will saying it, but Jay finally seemed to accept you were, in fact, fine.

You want in that interview room more than you've wanted anything in a long time.

"Absolutely not," Voight answers when you ask. "This guy doesn't respect women. I don't need you going in there so he can admire his handiwork." He waves a hand indicating to your black eye you're still icing. Hank returns to the observation window to watch Antonio and Atwater interrogate a very non talkative perp.

You remain in the bullpen with Adam, Jay, Mouse and Alvin to stare at that damn board some more.

Alvin recaps; all of you hoping to discover something, anything at all, that could help solve the case.

"Here's what we know. 2 or more suspects working to abduct infants. 1 in custody. Greg Jones. Couple of parking tickets, nothing too serious. Attempted three abductions, not including today's, in broad daylight, over the course of two weeks. Only one was he successful, if you call it that, but the infant was later abandoned at Firehouse 51."

You interrupt. "That baby left at 51, was a boy, right?"

Al double checks before answering, "Yeah."

"The other two attempts were on baby girls," Jay adds, possibly sensing where your mind is going.

You nod. "And today, I had a lavender blanket to cover the doll. One would probably assume it was for a baby girl. Just hold on a sec. Mouse," you holler over to him, knowing he'll pull up what you want faster than anyone. "Check hospital records and obituaries, plesse! Any infant deaths in the last month? Can you look into Jones' social media, too? Girlfriends and such." You've hardly finished the request and Mouse has the information for you. "How many of the babies that died were girls?"

"Two."

"Do you have the mothers' names? Any link to Jones?"

Mouse 's eyes scan the screen in front of him. "Tiffany Young...girlfriend of Jones according to Facebook, lost her baby girl last month."

You nearly hop up from your seat. "Text us her last known." You nod to Jay, asking without words if he's ready. Before you can walk away, Mouse calls your name.

"She was reported missing three days ago."

The whole team exchanges uneasy glances.

In a bizarre turn of events, Tiffany Young had reported herself missing. Jones and Young had been working together to abduct a baby girl with a plan to then flee the state. You and the team discovered that Young was conspiring against Jones going as far as plotting his murder to take place after a successful kidnapping. He would look responsible for her disappearance and his death would appear as a suicide. At least in theory.

It wasn't the best thought out plan, but in these situations they seldom were.

"I still don't understand," said Adam. You were all gathered around a large table at Molly's trying to relax after a long day. Well not all, Antonio made arrangements to see his kids. Al had also rushed off. "Why plan to off Jones?"

"She blames him for their daughter dying." You say taking a sip of your drink. "I read the report, even though it was SIDS, he was the only one there at the time." Everyone is quiet for a moment, presumably lost in their own thoughts. It takes Herrmann coming around, asking who wants another round for the conversation to resume.

Thanks to the refills and a few well timed jokes, the mood of the night has drastically shifted to a much happier one. An hour or so goes by when Jay lightly squeezes your knee under the table. You understand the gesture, surprised that he's waited this long to signal his want to leave. Jay hadn't really wanted to go out in the first place. "I'm gonna head out," you tell the group standing only when you've finished the last of your drink. There's a chorus of goodbyes. As you walk away, you hear Jay excuse himself to use the bathroom. You know he'll leave for your place afterwards. Neither of you know exactly why you keep the fact you're dating from your friends. Maybe the sneaking around is thrilling. Maybe it's just nice having something of your own. Regardless, it's the worst kept secret of the precinct, though no one has any proof and they ultimately leave you alone about it.

You've only changed into a tee shirt when a knock beckons you. You let Jay in. The door has just closed and he's ordered you to take your pants off.

"We need to work on your foreplay," you quip, but Jay's not laughing.

"I'm serious. I need to see again that you're okay."

You sigh, but shimmy out of your jeans. His genuine concern for you was slightly overwhelming in the best way, never having experienced anything like it before. Carefully, you pull back the adhesive bandage exposing your fresh flesh wound, still very bright pink and aggravated.

"I'm so sorry," he murmurs.

"It's not your fault," you say, trying to reassure him.

"I hate that you were hurting and I couldn't do anything." He pulls you for a tight embrace while mindful of your thigh. He's completely still for a moment, breathing you in and finding peace in your arms.

Suddenly, he picks you up off your feet. It catches you off guard and you giggle. "What are you doing?"

He doesn't answer. Instead he takes you to the bathroom and sets you on the counter near the sink. He starts rummaging through your medicine cabinet, pulling out gauze, bandages, and rubbing alcohol. He grabs a clean washcloth from the towel rack.

You raise one eyebrow in question. "I thought I had Detective Halstead, not Doctor."

"Tonight you have both." You bit down on your lip to keep from laughing, but the misconstruction of his words hit him. "That came out wrong. That's not at all what I meant." Laughter escapes from you and Jay joins in, shaking his head and telling you to keep your mind out of the gutter.

"Mm, it's difficult when you're around." You give him a quick peck on the lips.

He turns the warm water on, letting it run for a minute. He tests it, making sure it's not too hot before soaking the wash cloth. He rings it out and looks you in the eyes. "I'm not sure this is going to feel all that great.'

You nod your understanding and Jay very gingerly begins to clean your wound. You talk to keep yourself distracted. "I can't stop thinking about the case. Clearly, they're competent for trial and I'm not justifying what they did, or tried to do. But I can't imagine losing a baby. Just the thought…" Your voice drops off. You wish you could leave work at work, and sometimes you can, but tonight when you're struggling to do so, you feel extra fortunate to have someone who truly understands.

Jay has almost finished cleaning your wound, allowing it time to breathe before covering it with a fresh bandage. "I know," he says. "I kept thinking about if that had been us and our baby, what would stop me from going crazy."

Your heart flutters a little faster, "Our baby?" It's the first time he's ever said anything like this.

He suddenly avoids eye contact with you. "Yeah? I mean someday...down the road if we are still...and that's something we...you want...maybe?" His cheeks are flushed and he glances at you, his green eyes full of hope.

"Jay Halstead," you offer him a big smile, "have you been thinking about our someday?" He nods, giving you a smile of his own. You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him close to you. One of his hands rests on the countertop, the other lovingly brushes your cheek before you nuzzle into the spot just below his neck. You plant a kiss there. "Tell me more about your plans."

"Well they definitely don't include you getting stabbed again," he pulls away just enough to cover your thigh with the new bandage. A slight pout plays at your lips having not gotten the answer you wanted. Jay, seeing this, chuckles. "C'mon." He lifts you off the counter, carrying to the bedroom.

Gently, he places you onto the bed. You watch as he kicks off his shoes and strips down to his boxers. He catches you admiring his physique and shoots you a wink. But you pretend to still pout and cross you arms. It causes Jay to shake his head, bemused by you.

Pulling the covers back, he slides into bed and brings you to his side. He kisses the top of your head, fingers tracing a nonsensical pattern along your arm. "I see lots for us, love. So many ways things could play out, but it's always with you at my side."

"Yeah?"

"Oh yeah, definitely," and with that Jay launches into different versions of the future he's envisioned. Some are improbable, others imaginative, many seem possible, but all include you, just as he said.

#chicago pd #chicago pd imagine #jay halstead #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead x you

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trulymadlysydney · 4 years ago

Text

Somewhere In Time: Eleven

“...and when one of them meets the other half, the actual half of himself, whether he be a lover of youth or a lover of another sort, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy and one will not be out of the other's sight, as I may say, even for a moment...”

― Plato, The Symposium

tw: Death

Previous Chapters HERE

***Please Do Not Repost Without Permission***

April 25th, 2000, 12:06pm

It’s been a long, long few months for Roni.

Today is one of the first warm days New York has experienced in a while, and it’s one of the first times Roni has felt strong enough to actually leave her house without breaking down and sobbing.

Still, she’s aware she isn’t exactly at peak performance either.

Presently she finds herself at the supermarket, bare-faced and exhausted. She reaches up to rub at her eyes, which at this point burn permanently with how often she’s been crying over the past few months. She’s sure she must look a mess as she walks through the building, searching numbly for the few items her grandmother had sent her for.

Her grandmother, sweet and more than mildly concerned for Roni’s well being, had thought it would be wise for Roni to get out of the house for a bit. Over the past few months, Roni has gone on a few walks here and there, but each time she’d returned home looking more wilted and devastated than she had when she’d left. It was disconcerting, to put it lightly, but of course the older woman had comforted Roni through every minute of it.

That being said, however, she’d wanted to push Roni to make the effort to get out of this funk (or at least up and over the hump that stood before her), and although it makes Roni feel strange and disgustingly vulnerable to be out here among other people like this, she can’t say she blames her grandmother for trying.

Besides, there’s something that’s been on her mind for ages now, and she thinks today is the perfect day for it.

She has to keep reminding herself to focus on the task at hand first and foremost-- although she can’t for the life of her remember if her grandmother needs 2 percent milk or skim--, because God knows she wants this grocery store trip to be over as soon as possible.

She runs a hand through her hair, realizing dismissively that it’s a bit greasy and overdue for a wash. When was the last time she took a shower?

Ultimately, Roni decides on skim milk (she figures her grandmother will forgive her if she’s wrong) and plops it unenthusiastically into the shopping basket that hangs heavy on her arm. She scans the basket, mentally checking off everything she sees and searching her foggy brain to determine if she’s missed anything.

When she’s absolutely certain she’s gotten everything on her grandmother’s list, she takes in a deep breath, turning on her heel and walking--almost robotically-- to the next area of the store she needs to go to.

The little section of less-than-fresh flowers is located directly next to the produce section, right where it’s always been, and it’s a place that Roni has visited multiple times in her life since her mother’s passing. The task of picking out the prettiest flowers is one that Roni has never taken lightly, of course, and this time is no exception.

Because this time, she isn’t going to visit the grave of her mother. She’s going to find Harry’s.

There’s a pressure on her back mixed with a tinge of anxiety as she scans the colorful flowers in their colorful wrapping. It would be doing Harry a disservice to pick some that are anything less than perfect, but then none of these seem suitable at all.

Roses? No, too dark. Violets? Ironic, but still no.

Roni is startled out of her thoughts when she hears someone behind her clear their throat. Expecting to be asked to kindly move out of the way, she shifts quickly to the right, preparing to offer whoever this person is an apologetic smile.

But then she hears her name.

When she turns she is met by none other than Oliver and his sweet, smiling face. Her heart sinks impossibly deeper into her stomach at the sight.

“Hey!” he greets, as pleasantly as he can manage. “I thought that was you but I wasn’t sure!”

Oliver looks good, save perhaps for the dark circles under his eyes that mirror Roni’s own. He seems far more well put together than Roni for sure, and she’s almost embarrassed by her own appearance. His dark hair hangs limp on his head, and the scent of his aftershave tells Roni that he’s probably just taken a shower before heading over here. She wants to hug him, purely for selfish reasons, but she thinks maybe that isn’t the best idea right now given the circumstances.

He seems to feel the same way, because he holds his hands awkwardly at his side— as if wanting to go to her, but unsure of how to go about it.

So Roni simply smiles. “Oliver,” she greets. “It’s so good to see you!”

And she does mean that. His face is an oddly comforting sight at a time like this.

“It’s good to see you, too, Ron! How have you been?” He asks this question quietly, as if he already knows the answer, but there isn’t a single trace of judgement on his face. That was something Roni had always loved about him, in fact. He never judged. He was always a much better person than she felt she could ever hope to be.

Still, it feels like a loaded question. One that she doesn’t quite feel prepared to answer in the slightest. How does one explain to their ex boyfriend of several years that they’re doing absolutely terrible?

So she shrugs, offering him a half-hearted laugh. “I mean, I’m here.”

Oliver laughs, a sympathetic smile on his face that tells her he feels the exact same way. A wordless sentiment is shared between the two in their smiles, and he nods when she giggles. “Same,” he says. “I’ve been better but… ya know.”

And god, Roni does know.

She gestures at him. “You look great.”

“Thank you! Been working out a lot. Changed my diet a bit. Just trying to be like, you know, healthier and stuff.”

Roni nods. “That’s amazing, Oliver.”

She really does mean it. He does look great, especially compared to the last time she’d seen him. Fresh out of their breakup, running on a maximum of three hours of sleep per night, wordlessly helping Roni pack up her things into boxes and moving them, along with her grandfather, back into her grandparents house.

The first few days of the new year had been awful, to say the least. Roni had hardly spoken, hardly eaten, hardly done much at all except for cry; overwhelmed with sadness and a tinge of guilt— not only for leaving Harry, but for her sudden lack of feelings towards Oliver. And Oliver, the angel that he is, stood by her. Constantly worrying, making sure she was at least drinking enough water, and trying to coax her into telling him what was wrong.

The breakup had not gone at all the way Roni had expected. But then, when do breakups ever?

It was on the 6th day of January, when Roni found herself so completely buried in her grief that she couldn’t stop crying, even for five minutes, or bring herself to step foot out of her bed. Oliver had tried everything, and was obviously growing impatient himself. When he threw his hands up and exasperatedly told Roni he was taking her to the hospital, that’s when she’d done it. She’d blurted out that she couldn’t be with him anymore.

The look on his face was enough to shatter what little bit of her heart remained intact in her chest. He’d asked for clarification, then asked again, then again. When his tears started falling, that’s when the cycle of grief started for him. Denial, bargaining, anger.

Roni, of course, couldn’t tell him everything. She couldn’t tell him about the time travel, and about Harry. She couldn’t tell him anything, really. All she could do was cry.

And cry she did. She cried so hard she got sick, and poor Oliver, through his own tears, called Roni’s grandparents because he didn’t know what else to do. Even in the days that followed, where Roni stayed in the care of her grandparents, she couldn’t give him a straight answer. She wasn’t sure where she would even start, she only begged him to understand that this was the right answer for both of them.

And all the while, her heart had ached. It had ached for her mother, and for Harry. It flooded with overwhelming grief and guilt as Roni constantly wondered if she’d done the right thing leaving 1925.

It had taken a while, but it did get a bit easier after that. Two weeks later, Roni and Oliver ended things-- officially-- both with clearer minds and hearts. Oliver helped Roni’s grandfather move the rest of her things from her and Oliver’s shared apartment back into her grandparents’ home, and she and Oliver talked things through-- as best as they could.

The official reason Roni had given Oliver for their breakup was that she didn’t know who she was on her own and she needed to figure it out; which wasn’t a lie. She had told him, in more or less words, that she was feeling misunderstood and needed to really find out who Veronica Elliot was. After all, they’d been together for nearly ten years. Ten years of her adult life in which she’d done so much growing up, but with him. She needed to grow up on her own.

And Oliver had understood that as best he could. It didn’t make the breakup hurt less by any means, but it made enough sense. All he wanted was for her to be happy, which she appreciated more than she could express. So once she’d gotten settled in with her grandparents, she and Oliver hadn’t spoken again.

Until now.

Oliver nods his head in Roni’s general direction, bringing her from her thoughts. “What’s the occasion?” he asks.

“Hm?”

“You’re shopping for flowers,” Oliver explains with a laugh. “For something good I hope!”

“Oh.” It dawns on Roni that Oliver may actually be able to help her, or at least somewhat understand her current situation. “Yeah. Kind of.” She shifts her weight to her other foot. “Actually… Oliver, do you remember Mr. Styles?”

Oliver furrows his eyebrows. “Who?”

“Mr. Styles. You were assigned to spend time with him in high school. Right before you graduated.” None of this seems to ring a bell to Oliver, so Roni sighs. “You knoooow,” she tries again. “He gave you the advice? About asking me out? You brought me to meet him?”

Oliver’s confusion only seems to deepen. He shakes his head. “No, I don’t think--”

“He died like, shortly after I met him,” Roni says, growing a bit more impatient. “You went to his funeral!”

“Roni,” Oliver says slowly, “I think you’re confused. I was assigned to Mrs. Brown. Mildred Brown. You met her, but there was no one named Mr. Styles.”

Roni shakes her head. “No,” she says. “No, that’s not true.”

“Yes it is,” Oliver insists, then chuckles. “I would’ve remembered someone with a name that cool.”

“But Harry-- Mr. Styles… he--”

“I knew pretty much every resident in that place,” Oliver says. “There was no one named Mr. Styles. At all.”

Roni lets out a breath, blinking as she tries to process exactly what Oliver is telling her. Of course there was a Mr. Styles. She remembers him vividly, both in his youth and in old age. “No…” she says slowly. “No, there definitely was.”

Oliver shakes his head. “Roni, I’m not lying to you. I knew everybody there. There was nobody with that name.”

Roni is only halfway listening to him as her thoughts run a million miles a minute. “He… no, because...” She trails off, finally blinking confusedly up at Oliver. “Are you sure?”

“Positive.” Oliver watches her for a moment, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. After a beat, he speaks again. “You okay?”

“Yeah it’s just… I could’ve sworn--”

“Is that who you were planning on getting the flowers for?” Oliver’s confusion continues to show on his face. “Why?”

“I just--” Roni isn’t even sure where to begin. She sighs. “I just thought… he really meant a lot to you. I wasn’t at the funeral.”

“You’re thinking of Mrs. Brown,” Oliver insists. “I loved that woman. But I haven’t thought of her in years. I’m shocked you even remember her.”

“Apparently I don’t,” Roni jokes half-heartedly. Oliver laughs.

“Where did you come up with that name anyway? It doesn’t even sound remotely familiar.”

Roni, still confused, shakes her head. “I don’t know. I must have heard it in passing or… something.”

“Yeah probably.” Oliver nods towards the flowers. “Anyways. If you’re wanting to get some flowers for Mrs. Brown, she loved lilies.”

Roni glances back towards the cheap bouquets. Lilies. Those might be good.

Her confusion only fogs up her brain more than it already is, and try as she might to hide it, it projects very easily onto her face. Oliver eyes her, as if wanting to touch her but unsure of whether or not he should.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Ron?”

“Yeah,” Roni says quickly, realizing she must look strange. “No, yeah, I’m good. Sorry. Just… brain fart I guess.”

Oliver chuckles. “I know how that goes. Had a ton of those the past couple months. Things have just been like, weird? I guess? That’s the only way I can describe it.”

“I know,” Roni agrees, a tinge of guilt striking her chest. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be!” Oliver says quickly. “Seriously. I didn’t say that to like, make you feel bad or anything. I’m just saying.”

The air is thick with tension all of a sudden, and Roni clears her throat, trying desperately to will it away. Oliver laughs awkwardly.

“Well I don’t want to keep you or anything. I’ll let you get back to your shopping. But it was really good to see you.”

The way he’s smiling at her makes Roni instantly relax, and any awkward vibes in the air fizzle away. She smiles. “It was good to see you, too. Seriously.”

There’s a brief moment of charged energy between the two, before Oliver decides to just bite the bullet and move. He reaches forward before Roni can really even process it and he wraps her up in a hug.

It feels ridiculously comforting in a way that Roni would have never expected, and she surprises herself when she feels her eyes grow misty. She hadn’t realized how badly she’d needed a hug just in general, and she definitely hadn’t thought the most comforting one would come from Oliver himself. She relaxes into him, wrapping her arms around his torso and giving him a gentle squeeze in return.

They stay like this for a while, and Roni realizes that Oliver probably needs this just as badly as she does. She feels him take a deep breath in through his nose, burying it in her hairline and sighing quietly under his breath. He’s missed her. And Roni can’t lie and she hasn’t missed him, it’s just different.

She can’t go back to him. She absolutely cannot.

“Please take care of yourself,” Oliver mumbles, before finally pulling out of the hug.

“Hm?”

“Take care of yourself, Ron. Go easy on yourself. Please.”

His words touch Roni’s heart, and she smiles. “Oh. You too.”

He smiles right back at her, and there’s a long moment where she feels like he might say something else. Ultimately he decides against it, and he nods in finality. “Right,” he says. “See ya.”

He’s gone before Roni has even finished saying her goodbye, and she’s left feeling empty and somewhat melancholy. How is it possible to feel so simultaneously relieved, as if some unexpected closure has occurred between the two, and yet so hollow, as if far too many words were left unspoken?

Roni’s stomach churns and she clears her throat, trying to re-center herself.

Flowers. Harry’s grave. Right.

She knows what Oliver just said, and it confuses her to no end, but she isn’t going to give up that easily. She’s certainly not just going to take his word for it; she has to see for herself. She believes the finality of seeing Harry’s grave-- if there even is one-- will grant her the strength to push forward. To know in her heart that what she had with him is long gone. Otherwise, she fears she’ll never be able to shake the feeling that there is lingering unfinished business between them, and it will continue to haunt her until she knows for certain.

Even if Oliver insists Mr. Styles never existed. She has to try.

So Roni sighs, reaching for a bouquet of white lilies that seem to be the least wilted out of all of their counterparts, before making her way to the checkout line.

———————-

The cemetery is somber, but it brings a peaceful sense of calm over Roni as she steps through the gates. It’s colder and cloudier than it was this morning, and Roni finds herself wishing she’d brought a jacket. She takes a deep breath, feeling overwhelmed as she scans the many headstones before her. Finding Mr. Styles’ grave is going to be far more difficult than she’d anticipated.

She takes a step forward along the gravel road that winds through the expansive cemetery. She hadn’t realized it was going to be such a large place, with headstones covering the hills everywhere she turns. It’s only the slightest bit disheartening, but Roni is no quitter. If she can’t find his headstone today, she’ll return tomorrow; and if necessary, every day after that until she finds it.

Oliver’s words echo in Roni’s mind as she walks, scanning each headstone for the name she wants so desperately to see. Why didn’t he remember Harry? Surely she hadn’t dreamt that entire day in which she met the elderly gentleman; she has vivid memories of Oliver calling her cousin’s house where she was staying the day of the funeral and telling her how upset he was. That was real. The books on his nightstand were real.

Harry was real.

In the distance, someone sits on the balcony of their apartment and plays guitar. It’s a melancholy song, and although Roni knows they’re just practicing and this has nothing to do with her, it feels strangely fitting. Roni smiles to herself, enjoying the music, as she continues her way down the path.

It feels silly in a way, to be here without any knowledge of the location of Harry’s gravesite or if it’s even in this cemetery at all. In hindsight, she feels, she could have done just a bit more research. She could have called around, done some inquiring about Harry. To be fair, though, she had called his old retirement home only to find that it was no longer a retirement home, but a preschool; a fact that she found quite odd. The circle of life, so to speak.

As she scans the headstones, she reads each name quietly to herself. She figures it may be best to take the cemetery in sections; a section or two today, another tomorrow. It makes the task feel far less daunting and besides, she could use some more peaceful walks like this in her daily life.

She runs her fingertips along the rough top of a headstone, soberly realizing that there are caskets beneath her very feet at this exact moment. Realizing that everyone ends up here in their lives, and that one day she too will end up here. The thought of Harry being somewhere beneath this grass, however, makes her stomach churn. She hates that she’s here, and she knows it’s too late, but she’s hoping it will give her some type of the closure that she’s aching for.

Roni sighs, muttering a gentle “where are you?” under her breath as she scans the headstones.

She continues along the dirt path, shyly chuckling to herself at some of the names (and immediately feeling guilty for it). She switches the bouquet of flowers from her right hand to her left and wipes her sweaty palm along the thigh of her jeans.

As Roni continues her walk, she grows a bit colder than before. She wraps her free hand around her stomach, as if it’s going to help, and sniffles when the wind tickles her hair across her nose. Today had started out so misleading with such beautiful weather, and now she’s shivering against the chilly wind.

It’s about thirty minutes later when Roni happens upon a headstone bearing a name that draws her attention. The name isn’t exactly the one she’s been searching so desperately for, but it does interest her. She goes to it. turning off the gravel path and walking along the moist grass. As she approaches, she reads aloud from it.

“Mrs. Mildred Brown. Beloved wife and mother. Born October 12th, 1899. Died June 6th, 1990.” Roni sighs as she continues, reading the passage from the Bible written in script along the bottom. “‘Well done thou good and faithful servant.’ Matthew 25:21.”

She shakes her head. “I don’t understand,” she mumbles, squatting down beside the headstone to get a better look.

It all checks out, as far as Oliver’s story goes. She regrets not asking him for more information while she had the chance, however. How did Mrs. Brown die? What was it like the day Roni supposedly met her? Had Mrs. Brown been interested in time travel? Why is none of this making sense in Roni’s brain?

As Roni processes all of this, she suddenly gets the unmistakable feeling that she’s being watched. It isn’t a threatening feeling by any means, but she can practically feel a pair of eyes on her out of nowhere, and it is somewhat unsettling.

Of course, her logical brain thinks, she is at a cemetery. There are other people here, no doubt, visiting loved ones. She tries to brush off the feeling, running her thumb over the carved indentations spelling out Mrs. Brown’s name.

Roni notices a rock atop the headstone, indicating that someone has been here to visit Mrs Brown’s grave recently. She feels it would be disrespectful to touch the stone, so she refrains. Instead, she just looks at it, wondering who could’ve left it-- someone in Mrs. Brown’s family?-- and why she can’t, for the life of her, remember this woman.

She can’t shake the feeling that she’s being watched, however, and she glances over her shoulder subtly to see if she can see anyone. She waits a moment, and just as she turns back to observe the headstone once more, she swears she hears her own name.

“Roni.”

The voice is feminine and foreign yet so familiar all at once, and Roni isn’t even sure she’s

actually heard it when she stands up. She turns to her right slowly on her heel, expecting to see someone and feeling slightly disturbed when she doesn’t. She licks her lips, feeling her heart rate increase.

“Who--”

She hears it again, closer now and coming from the other direction, and she turns to her left. Instantly, she is relieved when she realizes who the voice belongs to.

There, standing against a tree with that beautiful, all-knowing smile, stands Violet. Dressed as if she’s just walked straight out of the 1920s.

Perhaps she has.

A million thoughts run through Roni’s head; how did Violet get here? How did Violet know she’d be here? Violet nods, as if reading Roni’s mind.

“Hello, dear.”

Realizing she hasn’t said a word, Roni laughs lightly. “Violet!” She walks over to the mysterious girl, smiling wide. “God, it’s so good to see you.”

As she approaches, she wonders if it would be polite to give Violet a hug. Are they at that level of friendship? Do they know each other that well? Is it weird?

Violet doesn’t allow any more time for Roni to overthink, instead taking charge and pulling her into her arms for a warm embrace.

It’s so ridiculously comforting, and Roni hadn’t even realized just how badly she needed this. When Violet pulls away, she continues to hold Roni at arm’s length, scanning her face. “How have you been?”

“Well…” Roni trails off, then shrugs. “I mean. Not great.” She laughs. “And you?”

“I’ve been well,” Violet replies, voice calming and warm. “My, but it’s good to see you.”

“It’s so good to see you too, Violet. What are you doing here?”

Violet smiles, something subconsciously shifting in her tone, though not in a bad way. “I had a feeling I would find you here,” she explains.

“But how?” Roni asks. “Why today? Why right now?” She leans in. “Why me?”

Violet doesn’t directly answer Roni’s question. “I’ve come to bring you something,” she says, reaching into a satchel that rests on her hip. “Something that might be of great value to you.”

Roni doesn’t want to get her hopes up that this gift has anything to do with Harry, but it’s too late. “Something of great value?”

“Sentimental, if anything.”

Roni can’t help but to deflate. “Oh.”

Violet finds whatever it is that she was looking for and retrieves it from the satchel. It seems to be a folded piece of paper, and she holds it out for Roni to take. Roni hesitates, eyeing the paper cautiously, before taking it from Violet’s hands.

“Read it,” Violet prompts. “It might make you smile.”

Slowly, carefully, Roni unfolds the paper. Her heart starts pounding as her mind runs through all the possibilities of what this could be. Before the note is even fully opened, she stops when she recognizes her own handwriting.

“I know what this is,” she says, looking up at Violet slowly.

“You do,” Violet says, nodding. “Read it.”

Roni swallows down the lump in her throat, casting her eyes back to the paper and reading silently to herself.

Harry-

If you’re reading this, it means that I left. I am safely back where I came from, proving you wrong-- just like I knew I would. However, it seemed rude to leave without a proper goodbye. So here it is. I know I only stayed one night with you, but you’ve been really great. I hope your new year is “swell” or whatever it is you’d say, and that all your hopes and dreams come true. Thanks for letting me stay with you. Sorry about the black eye. Take care.

-Roni

Roni looks back up at Violet, swallowing down the lump in her throat. “I wrote this the day after I got there,” she says, as if Violet didn’t know.

Violet nods again. “You did.”

Roni shakes her head, feeling tears prickle at her eyes. “I don’t understand,” she admits, shrugging in submission, as if Violet is about to play some trick on her.

“Harry’s kept it,” Violet explains, and the way she speaks of Harry in the present tense makes Roni’s heart pound.

“He’s…?”

“Kept it,” Violet repeats. “Yes. He found it under his bed a few days after you left.”

“Is he…” Roni doesn’t want to get her hopes up, so she hesitates to ask. “I mean, are you... have you—“

“I have seen him since you left,” Violet answers, smiling knowingly. “Yes.”

Roni swallows the lump rising her throat as the wind whips her hair lightly against her cheeks. “Is he alright?” The question comes out in a whisper.

“He is alright.” Violet nods. “He misses you.”

For some reason, Violet’s words completely overwhelm Roni. She can’t stop her eyes from welling over with tears immediately , and she lets out a little choking laugh. “God,” she says, reaching up to wipe at her eyes. “Does he?”

“Yes, darling.”

“I miss him so much,” Roni says, only half-heartedly attempting to stop her crying. “Can you tell him that?”

“I can.”

Roni laughs again through her tears and steps closer to Violet. “God, I’m sorry. I probably look like a mess. I just can’t believe you’re here, and I…” She trails off, looking down at the paper in her trembling hands. “It’s real,” she says, almost as if reassuring herself. “He was real. This is real.”

“It is real,” Violet says. “You didn’t imagine him.”

“I’ve felt so…” Roni gestures vaguely as she searches for her words. “So stupid, I guess. I don’t know. I haven’t been able to tell anyone the truth. I’ve started doubting myself. I-- I mean it all just seems so crazy, doesn’t it?”

“It doesn’t.” Violet shakes her head. “Not to me. Though I can understand the hesitation to share your experience with others.”

“And I broke up with Oliver, you know,” Roni continues. “Oliver, my boyfriend. We were together for so long and I… I didn’t love him. I mean I did, but not the way I love Harry. Or… loved Harry. I guess. But I--” she laughs. “God, I’ve never felt more alone in my life than I have in the past like, four months, and I-- I can’t even begin to tell you how good it is to see you. To see… this.” She gestures at the letter, then speaks again; quieter this time, as if to herself. “Fuck, I miss him.”

“Your feelings are completely understandable, Veronica. And justified. You have been through so much. It’s only natural to feel confused. And the connection you have with Harry transcends time itself. But these are odd circumstances, and certainly not a situation that anyone should be expected to know how to navigate. You are not stupid for feeling this way.”

“No,” Roni laughs, almost bitterly. “No, I am. I know I am. It’s just… god, you’re helping me so much just by being here but I--” she sniffs, wiping her nose on the sleeve of her shirt, “I don’t know. I know I need to move on. I know I can’t go back to him but I want to. More than anything else in the world.”

“What would you tell him if you could?” Violet asks, cocking her head to the side.

“Oh god,” Roni says, dabbing at her teary eyes. “I would say…” she trails off, really considering what it is exactly that she would say to Harry if given the chance. She sighs shakily. “I would tell him he’s the love of my life. I would tell him he is the greatest thing that has ever and will ever happen to me in this lifetime. In any lifetime. That I regret leaving him more than anything I’ve ever done. That I miss him. That I love him.”

Roni doesn’t notice the way Violet’s eyes flicker behind her, because she’s still going. “And it’s silly,” she continues, “but I have never stopped hoping he’ll come. I cant…” she sniffs again, “Can’t bring myself to stop. Even though I know he isn’t coming, I’ve never stopped looking for him. I don’t know if I ever will, you know?”

Violet smiles like she knows something that Roni doesn’t, but before Roni can even question it, a voice comes from behind her.

“Well,” it says, slow and deep. “The funny thing about that is, he’s never stopped looking for you either.”

It takes Roni a full ten seconds to even process what she’s hearing, and Violet’s all knowing smile only deepens. Roni whirls around on her heels slowly, her feet still feel frozen into the muddy, damp ground.

And there’s Harry, as young and as handsome as ever, if not a little bit older than the last time she’s seen him.

He smiles, tears welling in his own eyes as he takes a step towards her. “In every timeline,” he says, and takes another step, “in every lifetime. He’s never stopped looking.” He stands only a few mere feet away now, and Roni notes the single tear rolling down his cheek, contrasting his unwavering smile.

“I’ve kept my promise, bunny.”

In a whirlwind, Roni is rushing to him. She trips and stumbles a bit on the mud, falling directly into his arms. She doesn’t even bother standing upright, melting instead into his embrace and wrapping her own arms around him. He does his best to straighten her on her own feet, his arms wrapping tightly around her back, but he loses his own footing and falls ungracefully onto his back.

Neither seem to care about their tumble, and Roni crawls up his body— kissing every possible inch of visible skin she can get her lips onto. Her tears blend into Harry’s own, and he laughs joyfully against her lips as he wraps a supportive arm around her back.

“My god,” Roni sobs into his neck. “My god, my god, what are you doing here?”

“I told you,” Harry says, not even worried about the way his voice cracks. “I never stopped looking. And I found you.”

Roni giggles a wet, teary giggle, squishing his face in her hands and fastening their lips together in a clumsy kiss. He willingly kisses her back, stabilizing her with his hands and squeezing her as if he can’t hold her tight enough.

“Harry,” she sobs, “I missed you so much.”

“Me too, sweetheart.” He kisses her teary cheek. “So fucking much.”

Roni presses a few more haphazard kisses to his lips, as if terrified that she’ll lose him the second she stops. She pulls away after a moment, scanning his face through her own blurry eyes.

“I don’t understand,” she says, “how did you get here?”

Harry beams. “Some people have the gift. Some do not.”

“And you have it?!” Roni asks. “You had it this whole time?!”

Harry laughs at the urgency in Roni’s voice, reaching up to wipe the tears out of his eyes. “I don’t know. I guess so. Violet helped me.”

“Violet!” Roni says, suddenly remembering the witchy girl’s presence. She turns to where Violet had just been standing minutes before, and is surprised to see that she is no longer there. Harry and Roni both scan the graveyard, but Violet is in fact nowhere to be found. Roni furrows her brows. “Where did she go?”

Harry doesn’t reply, instead he tilts Roni’s face towards him for another smiley kiss. Roni needs absolutely no persuasion, melting right into him and sighing contentedly.

“I’m so happy,” she cries against his mouth. “So fucking happy.”

“Yeah?” Harry pulls away, tears still streaming freely down his smiling cheeks. “Me too.”

“This feels like a dream,” Roni giggles. “Genuinely. And if it is, I hope I never wake up.”

Harry giggles. “It’s not a dream, sweet girl. I’m here. And I’m staying.”

Roni scans his face for any sign of sarcasm, taken aback by his words. “You’re… staying?” She asks. She doesn’t want to get her hopes up, but God the thought of Harry being hers forever makes her heart pound in her own ears. “Are you serious?”

Harry beams brilliantly at her, letting go of her back to shrug. “Better be prepared to teach me a thing or two about the future, angel. I’m not letting you out of my sight ever again.”

“Oh my god.” Roni slams her lips into Harry’s, so much so that their teeth clank together, and he chuckles lightly into her mouth.

“I love you,” he says, lips hardly moving from hers. “I love you so fucking much.”

“I don’t understand,” Roni says, pulling back but still holding Harry in her arms. “How did you figure it out? I mean like, the fact that you can time travel. How did you--”

“Trial and error,” Harry explains. “Violet wanted me to wait a while. She said that it would be difficult to learn if I tried right after you left. The broken heart would make it more devastating if we failed.” Harry smiles. “Smart girl, Violet is. But I couldn’t wait very long. About a week later, we started working together to get this all sorted out. We worked on exercises. We worked on visualization. We did everything.”

“And then?”

“It took some time. Obviously. Went to a few different places.” He grins. “The 18th century was a lot of fun.”’

“You went that far back?”

“Sure did. Almost didn’t want to leave.” A playful twinkle glistens in Harry’s eye. “Some old Victorian broad showed me her ankle and I was ready to propose marriage.”

Roni slaps his arm lightly. “Shut up.”

Harry laughs, finding himself so hilarious. “M’joking,” he says. “Of course that didn’t happen.”

“Where else did you go?” Roni asks, then softens. “What took you so long to find me?”

“Wanted to make sure I had the technique perfected,” Harry explains. “Wanted to be sure I knew how to control where I was going. The first time I traveled was only to 1899, and it was quite unintentional. The second time, I was experimenting a bit. That’s how I ended up in 1778. But there was a catch.”

“Which was?”

“It was a different 1778. Not one that you’ve heard of.”

Roni looks confused. “But… how--”

Harry grins like he knows something Roni doesn’t. “Ever heard of parallel universes?”

Roni can’t help the laugh that escapes her lips. “Well holy shit.”

“I take it you’re familiar with the concept?”

“I am,” Roni says. “You were the one who told me about it.”

Harry raises his eyebrows, then immediately furrows them in confusion. “I did? I don’t remember—“

“As an old man,” Roni explains. “I met you when you were like… 90 something.”

“Oh.” Harry’s confusion softens. “No kidding. That’s neat.”

“No but… that would mean...” Roni trails off, confusion etched into her features, as she processes everything that’s going on. “I saw you… you were old…. you died. And Oliver said you… you always talked about this girl from your past... That would have been me, wouldn’t it?”

“I tapped into something even you couldn’t tap into.” Harry seems proud of himself, and he flashes Roni that smug grin she’s missed so much.

“What do you mean?”

“Alternate realities,” Harry explains. “Shifting into another dimension.”

“But how does that--”

“In another universe, yes. Somewhere in time, your memories are true. I was old. I was unsuccessful in finding you. In that universe--” he gestures vaguely around the graveyard, “--I’m six feet under somewhere around here.”

Even he seems to be hit with the somberness of his words. He takes a moment to let that sink in, and then he’s right back to his normal, cheery self. “But!” he says. “I shifted. Into this reality. With the help of Violet, I created a separate timeline.”

“At the cost of--?”

Harry sighs. “I mean. At the cost of some of the people I loved most back home.” He shrugs. “But that’s what alternate universes are for, I suppose.”

“Why couldn’t I have just… created my own alternate universe then? In which I could have kept my mom alive AND stayed with you? Why didn’t Violet give me that option?”

“You could have,” Harry explains. “But there wasn’t a guarantee you could have both. Plus, once you leave one, it is extremely difficult, if not entirely impossible, to get back. You weren’t willing or ready to make that sacrifice. I was.”

“So we’re in a parallel universe?”

“I am. You’re not. You’re in your regular timeline.”

“And you--”

“Shifted into it. Changed the fate’s design, so to speak. It did shift your timeline a bit, as far as my own existence goes. You remember me being old. You remember Oliver attending my funeral. But Oliver doesn’t. No one has any memory of me, in fact.”

“So who are you to everyone then?”

“That’s the beauty of it.” Harry grins. “I’m whoever I want to be. For all they know, I’m a famous singer from the UK who moved here for work.”

“Oh my god,” Roni giggles, leaning in to kiss all over his sweet, teary face once again.

Harry smiles that dimpled smile, obviously over the moon and basking in the way she’s loving on him.

“My sweet boy,” Roni says, lips smushed just below his ear. “My sweet, sweet boy.”

“Missed you,” Harry says quietly. “Couldn’t go on in a world without you.”

Roni bumps her nose tenderly along Harry’s. “I missed you so much.”

Harry laughs quietly to himself. “Can’t even begin to tell you how excited I was when I ended up here. Cried with happiness.”

“How long have you been here?”

Harry’s eyes dart up to the sky as he thinks, doing a bit of mental math in his head. “Two days. Give or take.”

Roni feigns offense. “And you didn’t come find me right away?!”

“Tried. Couldn’t. Didn’t know where you’d be.”

“But how did Violet know?”

Harry smirks. “I don’t know. I don’t know how she knows anything. But it seems she knows everything.”

Roni chuckles. “Apparently so. God.”

Harry hums, brushing Roni’s hair behind her ear and leaning in to kiss her nose. “God, I love you,” he says.

“I love you, too, Harry. Thank you for finding me.”

“Promised you I would,” he says, punctuating his sentence with a kiss to the corner of her mouth. “Was so hoping more than anything that you’d be waiting for me.”

Now Roni frowns. “You had doubts?”

Harry shrugs. “No. I mean…” he trails off, eyes scanning the sweeping hills of the cemetery as he considers his words. “No. I don’t know. I was hopeful.”

“But…?” Roni presses, leaning into him.

“But you lived in the future. You had--” he trails off, eyeing Roni carefully. “--have…. A boyfriend?” His statement turns into a question, and the look on his face makes Roni giggle.

“Had,” she answers. “We broke up. Very shortly after I came back.”

Harry frowns. “M’sorry to hear that. Was it… you know...?”

Roni shrugs. “I was hopeful, too,” is the only answer she offers him.

“Hopeful for me?”

“Yeah.”

“You knew I’d find you.”

Roni kisses Harry’s cheek. “I hoped you would.”

“Poor bloke though. I know how hard it is to live in a world without you.”

“Somehow I think he’ll manage.” Roni giggles. “No, actually, I saw him this morning. When I was—“ She trails off, suddenly remembering the bouquet of flowers she’d bought that now lays forgotten a few feet away. Harry seems to notice them at the same time she does, and he turns back to her. He doesn’t push for her to finish her thought, he instead strokes her hair and admires the way it looks in the wind.

“I was going to put flowers on your grave,” Roni explains, sheepishly. “I don’t know what I was thinking was going to happen. Maybe… like, closure or something. I don’t know.”

“Closure,” Harry repeats, smiling. “Wanted rid of the haunting memories of me then?”

Roni rolls her eyes but she giggles that giggle that Harry has dreamt about every night since she’d left. “No, god, of course not,” she laughs. “It’s just that living with the weight of how much I missed you…” She trails off again, and Harry can see the gears turning in her head as she immediately processes another thought. “I still don’t understand,” she says. “I never believed you when you told me. You as an old man, I mean. I’d brushed it off. I hadn’t thought it was realistic.”

Now it’s Harry’s turn to feign offense. “As realistic as time travel.”

“I know,” Roni giggles again. “It’s just that you were old when you told me. I didn’t know you.”

Harry grins now. “Was I a handsome old bastard?”

Roni’s giggles turn into full belly laughs. “I mean, I was like, sixteen. So I didn’t think so, no.”

“Bollocks,” Harry curses, and Roni snorts.

“This is insane,” she says, shaking her head. “I’m talking to you about… well, you… but as an old man. Memories I have of you, that you didn’t even exist for. But you did. I don’t know.”

Harry nods. “It’s an odd thing,” he agrees. “An odd situation we find ourselves in for sure.”

Roni hums in agreement, and a moment of comfortable silence falls between the two. She giggles after a moment, squishing Harry’s cheeks between her fingers and kissing his lips again, slow and smiley.

“God,” she says, when she finally pulls away. “I still feel like I’m dreaming.”

Harry pulls that cheeky look of his that Roni’s missed so much, wiggling his eyebrows. “You want me to pinch you, honey?” He squeezes lightly at her sides and she squeals, wiggling out of his grasp. He beams at the sound, wrapping an arm around her quickly and pulling her right back into him before smooching all over her cheeks and her nose. “C’mere,” he growls playfully. “Not getting away from me that easily. Never again.”

She continues to giggle, submitting completely to him as he tilts her head and kisses her. They laugh into one another’s mouths, their giggles dying down as their kisses increase in intensity. His tongue trails along her bottom lip, and it’s almost embarrassing how quickly Roni grants him access to her own tongue. She’s missed his taste more than she’d ever thought it possible, and she can’t help but to moan when her tongue slides along his.

“Fuck,” she whispers, completely unaware of the fact that she’s crying again.

“Hey,” Harry coos, pulling away and cupping her face with his hands. “Stop that. No more of that. No more crying.” He swipes at the tears under her eyes, stroking her cheek bones as lovingly as he can. There is no way to convey exactly how he’s feeling right now; he’s just so in love with her and so relieved to be holding her again. Seeing her cry, indicative that she feels the exact same way, makes his heart both sink and soar, and his eyes well up with tears all over again.

They both realize he’s crying too at the exact same time, and they laugh at how silly they’re both being. Harry, still holding Roni’s face in his hands, continues to wipe at her tears while she reaches up to wipe at his. They continue to laugh and cry and kiss, holding one another as close as they possibly can and forgetting about the entire world around them.

After a little while, Harry pushes himself to his feet with a little grunt. Roni immediately misses his warmth, which is pathetic, she knows. She can’t help the little whine that escapes past her lips as she reaches for him, and he chuckles as he takes her hand in his. “I’ll be right back, honey, I promise.” He gives her hand a quick squeeze before turning on his heel to go retrieve her discarded bouquet of flowers.

Roni watches him, so completely enamored and in love with him as he walks. He’s dressed sort of funky, not quite in his 1920s style but definitely outdated by today’s standards. He isn’t wearing his cap that she’s missed so much, but his curls are styled messily-- which isn’t helped at all by the wind. He looks so handsome. So soft. So him.

Her Harry.

She still feels like she’s dreaming in all honesty, and as she keeps her eyes glued to him she revels in the fact that he’s here. This person that she’s quite literally ached for for months now, the person she didn’t think she could possibly live without, the person she never thought she’d see again— he’s here. He found his way back to her because he loves her. It simply doesn’t feel real.

Harry picks up the bouquet and buries his nose in them, taking a big inhale and smiling to himself with the cutest dimpled smile. He looks back to see Roni— his sweet Veronica sitting there on the grass, wind whipping her hair and a silly, sweet smile on her face. He’s overwhelmed, really, and he walks quickly to close the space between him and his girl.

When Harry arrives by Roni’s side he plops right back down beside her, kissing both cheeks and the tip of her nose. When he pulls away, he’s smiling softly, and he nods down to the bouquet in his hands. “These were for me?”

“Yeah,” Roni says, somewhat bashfully. “I mean… for your grave. So. Yeah, for you but like… not? I don’t know.”

Harry chuckles, humming as he nods. “Mm.” He reaches into the cheap paper that holds the bouquet together and fingers lightly at a petal. “These are lilies.”

Roni, impressed by his knowledge of botany, smiles. “They are, yeah! How’d you know?”

Harry laughs. “Wasn’t born yesterday, Veronica, for heaven’s sake,” he teases. “In fact, I was born….” Harry scrunches his face, doing a bit of mental math in his head. “About a hundred and one years ago I think!”

“Holy shit,” Roni says, doing the math in her own head. “So you’re… old.”

“Technically, I suppose,” Harry chuckles. “But also, not actually.” He kisses her temple, then reaches into the paper bouquet. Roni wonders briefly what he’s doing, until she sees him snap a lily off of its stem. It looks so delicate between his fingers it makes her shiver, and she hardly has time to register what he’s doing before he’s tucking it gently behind her ear. He moves slowly, his thick fingers brushing lovingly against her skin.

Harry’s eyes scan her face, and in this moment Roni has never felt more loved. He cups her jaw and runs his thumb along her cheek, his green eyes still wet with tears. He hums, his mouth looking so irresistibly delicious, and Roni holds his eye contact with bated breath, waiting for him to do something.

“You are so beautiful,” he says softly, almost more to himself than to her. “My beautiful girl.”

“Your beautiful girl,” Roni repeats, leaning into his touch. “Thank you for finding me.”

“I’ll always find you, Veronica.” Harry drops his hand from her jaw and wraps it around her smaller hand that’s placed in her lap. “In every timeline,” he leans in and kisses her forehead, “in every lifetime,” he kisses her nose, “I will find you,” her lips, “and I will love you with everything I have to give until my heart stops beating.” He kisses her lips again, slower this time, before resting his forehead to hers and allowing his eyes to close.

They sit like this, silently drinking in one another’s presence, and when a tear slips down Roni’s cheek neither of them mention it. Harry presses velvety kisses to Roni’s lips every few seconds or so, and even he’s crying after a bit.

No words are spoken, but no words are necessary. In fact, it doesn’t feel like there would be any words to even begin to describe the happiness in both of their hearts presently. Roni swallows down a lump in her throat and giggles, sniffling a bit.

“God,” she says, “I think I’ve cried more in the past few months than I have in my entire life.”

“Well we’re fixing that,” Harry says, pulling away and wiping at her tears. “Effective immediately. No more tears. From here on out.”

“You promise?”

“Only happy ones. I promise.”

Roni licks her lips, then leans back in to kiss him again. “I like the sound of that.”

They stay like this for a while, disregarding the way it’s getting colder by the minute and the way that the tiny bit of sun that’s peeking through the clouds is beginning to dip behind the treetops. Roni catches him up one everything that’s happened in her life since she’d left him, and Harry tells her all about all the adventures he’s had while trying to find her. They laugh, and they continue to cry on and off (which makes them laugh harder) until Harry finally notices Roni shiver subconsciously at a gust of wind.

“Getting colder,” he observes, then adds “perhaps we should get out of here.”

Roni hums in agreement. “We should. You’ve got to meet my grandparents.”

Harry’s face changes into somewhat amused confusion. “Already?”

“What?” Roni says, rising to her feet and brushing the dirt off of her jeans. “If you’re going to be staying with us you’re going to have to meet them eventually.”

“Yes, but….” Harry rises to his feet as well. “Don’t you think we ought to do this right? I mean, they don’t know me, you’ve just broken up with your long term boyfriend, they’re going to think I’m a creep.”

Roni giggles. “They won’t. I promise. I’ll say you’re a friend from college who’s recently moved to town. We caught up today and you needed a place to stay for a bit. They won’t care.”

“They won’t think it’s… I don’t know, improper?”

“You’ve never met my grandparents,” Roni says. “They’re like the chillest people ever.”

When she’s met with only a look of pure confusion on Harry’s face, she laughs again. “You’re in the twenty-first century now, Harry. It’s your turn to adapt.” She lightly pinches his side, causing him to laugh.

“Suppose so,” Harry giggles, taking her hand in his and interlacing their fingers. “Lots to learn. I have a feeling you’re an excellent teacher, though.”

Roni smiles, swinging their hands as they fall into step, walking along the gravel road winding through the cemetery. “Well, I’ll do my best,” she says. “It’s the least I can do for you after you bent the laws of time itself to come and find me and all that.”

“Exactly,” Harry says, nodding. “Although I won’t lie to you, Veronica, I’m a bit nervous to get it all sorted out.”

Roni gives Harry’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “Don’t be,” she replies. “We don’t have to have it all sorted out. When have we ever had anything sorted out?” She laughs quietly to herself. “I’ve come to find that life is much better unplanned.”

“Yeah?” Harry squints, eyes scanning the vast hills as the wind whips his curls messily. “Well, I’ve come to find that you’re right about most things.”

The silence that follows is comforting and soft, but both are thinking the exact same thing. Sure, it is a bit terrifying to start a life together--properly--like this. Harry is here to stay, and as wonderful and exciting as that is, they both know it’s going to be hard work. He’s going to have to adapt, and it isn’t going to be easy. He’s starting from scratch. No job, no house, nothing.

But he does have his honey by his side. And somehow that’s enough.

They exit the cemetery, hand in hand, and Harry tries his best not to look so clueless as he observes the world around him. Roni is patient and gentle with him, answering any questions he has and giggling when he makes jokes. They’ve fallen into their comfortable swing of things that they’ve both missed so deeply, and Harry reckons that with his Veronica holding his hand, he can conquer anything.

As they approach Roni’s grandparents’ house, however, the butterflies in Harry’s stomach begin to act up. His hands grow sweaty and he hopes Roni doesn’t notice. (She does.) He wipes his free hand on the thigh of his trousers and swallows, slowing the pace of his walking until he stops altogether.

He looks up at the big house, daunting but quaint and surrounded by a completely innocent looking white picket fence, and he can feel Roni watching him. She’s nervous, too, he knows it. She gives his hand a squeeze before letting go, and his hand falls dully to his side.

“You sure you’re ready for this?” Roni asks quietly. “I mean, are you sure this is what you want? To be here, in a different time, re-learning the world and the people in it?”

Harry turns to her now. “Of course this is what I want,” he insists, almost defensively. “I just… it’s a bit more scary close up, isn’t it?”

Roni knows he isn’t talking about the house.

“It is,” she says slowly, after a beat. “But, if I know anything for sure, it’s that you and I make an excellent team. Whatever the circumstance, we can navigate it together, even if we haven’t got a clue what the right answer is. Somehow I know we’re always going to figure it out.” She lowers her voice, stepping in closer to Harry. “You’re the bravest, most wonderful man I know, Harry. You’re going to be fine.”

He turns to her, smiling as he swallows down the nauseous feeling in his throat. She beams. “You’re going to be just fine,” she repeats.

Harry reaches forward, taking her hand in his and bringing it up to his lips, pressing a tender kiss to each of her knuckles. “Alright,” he says quietly. “I’m ready.”

Roni smiles, squeezing his hand again and taking a deep breath in through her nose. “To our new life,” she says.

“To our future,” Harry adds. “To… forever.”

Roni nods. “Forever. Yeah.”

With deep breaths and trembling fingers, Harry and Roni step though the little gate surrounding the yard of the house and make their way onward. Into their future. Into the intimidating uncertainty of navigating a life brought on by such unique and odd circumstances. Two souls, interwoven and transcending time and space itself for the chance to be together, taking on the new set of challenges that await them because they have each other.

No matter where they end up in any lifetime, together or apart, they will always find one another somewhere in time.

#Harry Styles #Harry #One Direction #Harry Styles fanfiction #Harry fanfiction #One Direction fanfiction #fanfiction #Harry Styles AU #Harry AU #One Direction AU #AU #Harry Styles angst #Harry angst #One Direction angst #angst #Harry Styles fluff #Harry fluff #One Direction fluff #fluff

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just-another-ficwriter · 4 years ago

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Holidate - Part One

Pairing: Sweet Pea x Reader

Words: 3000ish

Warnings: Overbearing parents, alcohol

Summary: Tired of being alone on holidays, Sweet Pea and Y/N decide to be each other’s plationic plus-ones all year round. What could go wrong?

Notes: I’m super late posting this and I feel awful about it!! I just couldn’t decide how I wanted it to go and ended up rewriting it three times🤦🏻‍♀️

“No Mom.” Y/N pinches the bridge of her nose, irritation seeping into her words. There’s already a dull ache drumming behind her temples and she hasn’t even made it home yet. “I’m not using this as an excuse because I’m running late.”

“Well I simply can’t just drop everything and come get you, I’ve got to stuff the Turkey and cut the vegetables and-“ She lets her Mother’s voice drowned out into background noise with a frustrated sigh on her end.

She hates Christmas, she thinks. Hates the decorations, the songs, the cheer. Every last bit. Nothing’s been the same since the truth came out about Hal and-

“Is Jug there?” She cuts her own thoughts short, desperate not to think of her Dad and all the things he’s done right now.

“Of course Forsyth is here!” Y/N can almost see Jug flinch at the correction and bites back a laugh. “But him and Betty have already opened a bottle of wine.”

“Can you just ask him for the number of his Dad’s garage please?” Another five minutes of Alice rambling on passes before Jughead’s voice appears on the other end with a joyful ‘Merry Christmas’ and a direct contact to someone who might be able to help.

She thanks him quickly, hanging up before she can even finish saying goodbye, so he doesn’t have a chance to hand the phone back. And as she leans against the car behind her, the same car that had given up on her just as she passed the town sign, she dials the number and hopes she’ll make it home in time for dinner.

Otherwise, she might never hear the end of it.

“Again, in English?” Y/N cocks an eyebrow at him, the string of words he’d just said sounding almost foreign in her head.

She doesn’t mean for it to sound as rude as it does, but she can’t help it. She’s tired, exhausted even, not to mention cold. The snow fall had picked up five minutes after she’d called the number Jug had given her and it had taken him, or Sweet Pea as he’d introduced himself, almost 40 minutes to reach her.

But he just laughs it off, smirks before firing it straight back at her. “You aren’t getting anywhere in this car, anytime soon princess.”

“Great!” It’s official. Her mom’s going to kill her and she’ll be blamed for ruining Christmas. She throws her hands up in defeat, kicking a tyre in the process. “Just great!”

“If it makes you feel better, this isn’t how I planned on spending my Christmas Eve either.” He watches her amused, another laugh passing his lips before the sarcastic remark follows, his arms now crossed over his chest and she almost feels guilty.

“I’m sorry for being such an inconvenience.” She throws a false apology at him along with a fake grin that falls into a frown almost immediately.

“Apology accepted.” She’s scowling at him now, eyes rolling back but he simply ignores it, happy to keep winding her up. “Want me to give you a ride somewhere while I tow this back?”

“Only on one condition.” She points a finger over her shoulder towards his trunk, the radio still on loud. “We find a station that isn’t playing Christmas music.”

“Hey, it’s either Mariah Carey, or you walk Sweetheart.” He shrugs, walking backwards, watching her make the choice.

He can’t help but laugh again when she sighs and runs to the passenger seat, desperate to seek shelter from the snow.

10 minutes after Sweet Pea kindly drops her off at her childhood home, Y/N finds herself still on the porch out front, mentally preparing herself for what’s about to come.

She sucks in a breath. Two, three. And with a fake smile so sickly sweet it makes her stomach hurt; she lets herself in.

Polly’s the first to spot her, catches her the minute she walks through the door and pulls her into a hug before she can even drop her bags. She can’t help but sink into the embrace, it’s always nice to see her older sister alone like this, but Y/N doesn’t even get the chance to ask her how she is before the twins descend down the stairs and push past them in a blur.

“Juniper put the presents down- Dagwood no!” She feels Polly gently squeeze her hand in a silent way of saying they’ll catch up later before she’s chasing after them, joining an exhausted looking Jason who pauses long enough to wave a quick hello before he resumes pursuit.

She moves further into the house, away from the chaos of the living room and towards the interesting smells wafting from the kitchen. It’s impossible not to hear her Mother barking orders from where she stands over the stove, while Jug and Betty listen to every word, working on the dining table and it’s fixtures like a well-oiled machine.

“Y/N/N you’re here!” Betty looks up with a soft smile but doesn’t dare move from her task and face the wrath of Alice Cooper.

“Finally!” It’s Alice’s turn to look at her now, a perfectly shaped eyebrow arching in distaste as her eyes roam over her middle daughter. “Please tell me you aren’t wearing that to dinner?”

Y/N lets out a breath she didn’t realise she was holding and prepares to fire back when a gentle arm lands around her shoulder with a calming chuckle.

“Oh come on Mom, Y/N looks fine.” Charles plants a quick kiss to her forehead before ruffling her hair and they both laugh. Her brother had always been her saving grace in situations like this, the only one brave enough to stand up for himself and the others, ever the mediator. But not even he was enough to put Alice off her persistent questioning, she was already sick of her Mother’s judgement and they hadn’t even touched on her job or her relationship status yet.

“You’ve definitely told them we aren’t officially together, right?” Sweet Pea takes one last, slow drag of his cigarette before stomping it out under his boot. Josie nods at him reassuringly but one look up at the exterior of her parents house has his stomach in knots. “They know we’re just casual?”

“Sweet Pea would you stop?” She playfully pokes at his ribs, but he just sighs and rubs a nervous hand down his face.

He couldn’t help it, that sick feeling rising from the pit of stomach by the second. The idea of spending Christmas with Josie’s family, a girl he’d only been dating for a month, was absolutely terrifying on all levels. But Fangs had ditched him to spend the holidays with his boyfriend in New York, not that he could really blame him, and he had no other family in town so when she originally offered, he’d jumped at the chance of not spending the day alone.

Part of him had regretted it since.

If Sweet Pea thought the outside of house was impressive, with it’s perfectly placed lights and overly decorated windows, it was nothing compared to what was waiting for him on the inside.

Myles and Sierra McCoy welcome them at the front door with bright smiles and open arms that engulf Sweet Pea before he even has the chance to say hello.

Josie joins in, the four of them becoming one big, massive group hug like he’s been part of their family his whole life and not just a stranger potentially only passing through. All three of them squeal in excitement before someone yanks him in doors.

If he had doubts before, he thinks, he’s almost certain he’s in over his head now.

Betty gets engaged on Christmas Morning.

Right in front of the Christmas tree, just after the last presents are opened and the twins are happily distracted by a mountain of toys; Jughead drops to one knee and pops the question under twinkling lights.

The minute Betty gasps the word ‘yes’ the family erupts in cheers, fawning over the couple. Of course Alice is already crying, Polly demands to see the ring, while Charles and Jason pat Jug on the back.

Y/N however stays put, her eyes falling down into her mug of spiked coffee that her mom had scolded her over, eyebrows raised over the rim as she knocks it back.

“Aren’t you going to congratulate your sister?” Alice sends her a pointed look, catching her before she can slope off into the peaceful confines of the kitchen.

“Congrats Betts.” She pulls her into a hug and paints on the biggest smile she can muster as she mumbles into her hair. “I’m so happy for you.”

And she is. Her sisters getting everything she’s dreamed of with Jug, of course she’s happy, but it’s hard to ignore the fact that her younger sister will be married before her.

Even Charles has betrayed her this year and invited a date to Christmas dinner leaving her the last single Cooper. And her mom wasn’t prepared to let her forget it anytime soon.

Sweet Pea successfully manages to make it through family movie night, forcefully sat between Josie and her mother, hot cocoa in hand and surrounded from all sides. He even grins and bares the series of photo albums that follow, another embarrassing photo of Josie lurking behind every page turn, but he draws the line when the marriage talk starts, declaring he’s suddenly tired and turns to run up the stairs so fast he’s surprised he doesn’t pull something on the way.

Sienna wakes them up on Christmas morning with a soft knock at 8am sharp, wearing a bright red Christmas jumper and holding two more for the both them.

The mere idea of it makes Sweet Pea’s skin itch as much as the material does once he begrudgingly pulls it over his head.

The rest of the morning is spent sipping coffee, watching the three McCoy’s exchanging gifts. He’s too distracted, wondering if it’s still too late to find a way out of the whole thing to even notice Josie standing in front of him until she’s shoved the present right under his nose.

“Merry Christmas my love.” She places it down on his lap and Sweet Pea finds himself wanting the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

“Jose I… I thought we said we weren’t doing gifts?” All three pairs of eyes are now on him, burning their way into his skin and he’s sure he’s never felt embarrassment like it.

“But that was just a joke, right?” He smiles awkwardly when she laughs, but the sound is humourless, and he can already see the anger bubbling behind her eyes. She doesn’t even give him the chance to reply. “What, so I’m good enough to sleep with but you can’t buy me a gift?”

He chokes, shocked by her transparency around her parents while his cheeks redden by the second.

Ten minutes later he’s out on the drive, bags thrown in the back of his truck, scrambling to get away as fast as he can.

Christmas Day ends the way it started.

Miserably sat at the kitchen table, sipping on something alcoholic held in her hand.

Polly and Jason had slipped off not long after dinner, taking two sugar high kids and all their loud noises with them. Betty and Jug now sit on one couch, his arms wrapped around her shoulders, her head resting on her chest, content in their own bubble of love while Alice sits on the other, quizzing Kevin Keller, Charles’ surprise date. She’d feel bad for him if she wasn’t already feeling relieved that her Mother’s attention had turned to someone else for five minutes. Her brother sits besides her, topping up a glass of red.

“He seems nice.” Charles hums in response, biting back a laugh. Was she missing a joke? “What?”

“If I tell you something, you can’t tell the others.” A quick eager nod and she’s shuffling closer so he can whisper his secret. “Kev’s just my Holidate.”

She blinks back in shock. “Holidate?”

“Just a date for the holiday, someone to keep Mom off my back.” He shrugs like it’s nothing, like it’s the simplest solution to the problem. He sips his wine while he waits for her to process it. “There’s no strings attached and I don’t have to spend events alone. I’m even heading down to his parents after New Years to return the favour.”

“Thats...” Y/N breathes out, she’s a little envious she hadn’t thought of it herself. “What an idea.”

Y/N sinks into a booth at Pop’s Chocklit Shoppe two days later with a sigh of relief, happy to welcome the peace that comes with being away from her family.

She loves them, her siblings, her mother, the twins, of course but it’s exhausting. The intruding questions, the never ending merry go round of pity and interfering. She knows deep down it’s only because they care, but sometimes she wished they’d just leave her alone.

Pops promptly brings her order of curly fries over, with a soft smile and an extra chocolate shake on the side she didn’t order. It’s been two years since she last stepped into the place, yet he still remembers her favourite like it was yesterday.

“It’s good to see you Y/N.” There’s something in his tone that just feels like home and she finds herself welcoming it, it’s been a long time since anything in Riverdale has felt anything close to that, not since the truth about her dad.

Pops doesn’t stick around, a light pat to her shoulder before he’s a retreating form, leaving her to her thoughts. She barely makes it through a fry before someone’s sliding in opposite her.

Sweet Pea pushes the key across the table, grinning cheekily as he helps himself to the basket in front of him. She barely knows him and he’s already stealing her food. “One fully functional car.”

“Finally!” She snatched them up, hiding them

in her bag and he can see the tension practically melting from her shoulders. “Now I can get out of the hell hole.”

“Christmas went that well? He asks, curiosity peaked.

“You could say that.” She presses herself further into her seat, huffing as she rubs the palm of her hands against her jeans. The anxious look in her eyes tells him that what ever she might say next won’t necessarily make sense and she’s a little embarrassed by it. “My sister got engaged.”

“To FPS son right?” He vaguely recalls his boss proudly telling anyone who would listen that morning. “And that’s a bad thing?”

“She’s my younger sister, and now, as I’m about to be the only official unmarried Cooper daughter my mom has even more of an excuse to interfere in my love life.” The words just slip out and she finds part of her gladly confessing her thoughts to a virtual stranger instead of keeping them in. He smiles in a way that tells her he gets it.

“Yeah well, bet you a chocolate shake mine was worse.” He ignores the glare she sends him when he innocently brings her existing milkshake to his lips and continues when she says nothing. “I spent it with someone I’ve been dating for four weeks and her parents.”

She almost chokes on a curly fry. “You got serious that quick?”

“Of course not, and we both knew it.” She stares at him like he has two heads, he knows she can’t quite fit ‘causal relationship’ and ‘family Christmas’ together so he does it for her. “Didn’t want to spend the day alone so I took her up on the offer. Cue overbearing parents, the cringest matching jumpers and the ultimate gift exchange where I got her nothing because we agreed no presents.”

“Aren’t you old enough to know by now that no gifts definitely means get her a gift?” She laughs when he rolls his eyes.

“Ended with her kicking me out before dinner.” She shakes her head, laughs again as she calls him tragic and a tiny part of him agrees. “And now I’m officially dateless for New Year’s Eve.”

“Thanks for reminding me I have to come back in a few days to attend Riverdale’s Annual Blossom New Years Eve Party alone for the second year running.” She wrinkles her nose in disgusted, unprepared to have her friends on her back as well as her family, and ends up missing the way his eyebrows raise in surprise.

“You know Toni and Cheryl?”

“T’s been my best friend longer than I can remember and Cheryl’s brother is married to my sister, guess you could say I know them pretty well.” She tilts her head to the side, eying him slowly, like she suddenly sees him in a different way. “How’d you know them?”

“Guess you could say I spend more time than I should at the Wyrm.” The mention of Toni’s bar lights up her face. “Plus Toni’s been a really good friend to me since I got here, I was actually meant to be taking Josie to their party.”

“I think I know a way to solve our little problem.” A plan suddenly forms in her head, he doesn’t know whether to be worried or not as he watches the smile on her face widen. “Sweet Pea how would you like to be my Holidate this Friday?”

“Your holi-what?”

Forever Taglist: @p-marie-sp

Sweet Pea Taglist: @80sand90simagine @wildberryyyy @hopelesslylosttheway @be-gay-do-crime-cutie

Holidate Taglist: @popcrone818

#riverdale #riverdale imagine #riverdale sweet pea #riverdale fanficton #riverdale series #riverdale au #riverdale edit #riverdale one shot #sweet pea #sweet pea x reader #sweet pea riverdale #sweet pea au #sweet pea fanfiction #sweet pea imagine #sweet pea one shot #sweet pea edit #sweet pea series #holidate #Holidate au

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dearaliceliddel · 4 years ago

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CHARACTER STUDY

— basics.

▸ is your muse tall / short / average ?

Alice is short average, standing at 5′5″

▸ are they okay with their height ?

Considering Wonderland, the height of things always so skewed, Alice doesn’t think much of her height often. But being short has proven to be quite useful at surviving and fighting. But trying to not be looked down upon or people assuming she’s too weak? Hm. Irritating.

▸ what’s their hair like ?

Long and soft, smooth to the touch. Alice has thick hair but where it was once wavy, it’s now straight for her own peace of mind, its own weight pulling it straighter. Dark brown, very nearly black in the right light.

▸ do they spend a lot of time on their hair / grooming ?

Not often, as Alice doesn’t really style her hair unless she is left with no choice. Cleaning and bathing of course takes time, but otherwise it’s merely brushed out and handled to not be a wreck. If she has to, pulling it back into a pony tail or braid can happen on the rare occasion. Otherwise it is flowing free.

▸ does your muse care about their appearance / what others think ?

Considering Alice’s state in her appearances, she is more for comfort and self identity over being fancy. Her bigger worry is surviving and her personal feeling. Yet she is still a proper young lady, and knows how to look nice when she needs to. Alice’s sense of style has always been there, it is merely on a more comfortable level. Her dresses are a combination of utility and appearance.

— preferences.

▸ indoors or outdoors ?

Both. Being outdoors has always held a source of adventure for Alice alongside her imagination. But as the years went on and the trauma, torment, madness, and suffering sank in, she figured out how to enjoy being indoors just as much. She can acclimate to whatever may need.

▸ rain or sunshine ?

Sunshine is much preferred, as the rain can bring such sad feelings. The sun brings warmth and hope, memories of better years. But one can not deny sitting inside, with a nice warm cup of tea while hearing the rain falling on a roof or against windows.

▸ forest or beach ?

The Forest hands down. Reminds Alice of her home in Oxford, and the estate that had the forest around it, where she would run around so easily. And first found the rabbit hole. While a beach can be fun, there is something about sprawling forests that has her at ease.

▸ precious metals or gems ?

Metal’s has many more uses than gems can have, as gorgeous as gems can be. Yet at the same time one can’t deny the chances of a rare stone of some sort being useful in a certain moment. So, I’m going to say both but metal leaning.

▸ flowers or perfumes ?

Flowers. Such things remind Alice of her younger days and gardens. Perfumes can sometimes smell like the same flowers she remembers as a child, and she does enjoy them if needed, but there’s always more enjoyment of the real thing.

▸ personality or appearance ?

Personality. While an appearance can be a bonus, Alice much prefers someone personality and who they truly are deep down and under whatever facade or surface level showing that is given for general public. The personality and personal quirks or ticks are more revealing of ones true self.

▸ being alone or being in a crowd ?

Alone. Sometimes being in a crowd can be stressful, and bring a headache, especially if she is forced to be touching people as her trigger. Being alone has been forcefully ingrained into her by the torments of her life. But if she is comfortable with some friends, enough so to be considered a group, she does not mind being in the proverbial crowd with someone she knows has her back.

▸ order or anarchy ?

Order and Anarchy mean nothing if the world is careening wildly on the jagged edge of reality. Alice has seen the best and worst of everything in equal measure, and knows the disgusting truths she wishes she could forget. But if she had to choose, a mix of both. Anarchy is merely chaos with a direction, and order is organized madness.

▸ painful truths or white lies ?

This is another Both situation. Alice is very much driven to discover the truth of situations if she has to do so, find facts, considering how many were hid from her and used against her in lies. But she also understands the need for lies to protect others or herself.

▸ science or magic ?

Magic is merely Science others don’t understand, as Alice has been told before. But she accepts both in equal measure, and loves to learn more.

▸ peace or conflict ?

Alice craves peace for once, even for a short time. Able to sit, rest, be at ease for once, with no fear or sadness. Able to sleep for once without fear, or feel like nothing is wrong. But that is a fleeting notion as she understands conflict shall always come in any form, and sometimes she will cause it if she has to.

▸ night or day ?

Night or Day can bring good and bad moments. Hiding in the dark can only protect you so much, while the daylight does not chase away cruelty. Alice accepts both with how little she sleeps and refuses to do so actively. But she enjoys the warmth of daylight.

▸ dusk or dawn ?

Dawn brings a new day. Watching a sunrise can be quite enjoyable. But she will always ever enjoy the beauty of a sunset and how it paints the skies and horizon like a work of art.

▸ warmth or cold ?

Considering how sensitive Alice is to temperature and the shifts in the air of such things, she prefers warmth. Easily cold thanks to the damage of her body from severe burns and fire. Yet the cold does not stop her and she can force herself through as unpleasant as it is.

▸ many acquaintances or a few close friends ?

Alice prefers to have just a few close friends, and yet she has acquired many acquaintances. A bit of both ever present in her life. She’s worried of opening up to people and accepting them closer as Alice has a habit of loosing those she cares about. But if you earn her friendship and to be close enough for her to be comfortable with you? Then you earned a fiercely loyal friend that will kill for you.

▸ reading or playing a game ?

Books have ALWAYS been a treasure for Alice, even more so being alone. It allows her to feel free and in another world for a while, imagination running wild without worry. And on top of that, she can learn so much from new studies or thick tomes. Her brain craves learning and teasers, alongside fantasy. Reality has so much of her attention already, she sometimes needs an escape. But a game? Now those will still have her highly interested. But its harder to play games alone.

— questionnaire.

▸ what are some of your muse’s bad habits ?

Refusing to sleep, unable to do so and staying up for extended periods. Eating exceedingly rarely and only enough to be functional and not starve, but still has water and drinks tea commonly. Taking on danger without any fear for herself, and not thinking twice of injuries she may take. Self destruction and self harm. Blaming herself for much at times. Withdrawal and refusing to open up to others without being convinced to do so. Sometimes spiking her tea with a strong alcohol. Using hookah at times, a habit picked up from Caterpillar. Having wonderful advice to give others but often not taking it herself. And as always, Alice’s impossible curiosity.

▸ has your muse lost anyone close to them ? how has it affected them ?

Almost everyone. Alice lost her family in a fire that was started to cover up the murder and r*p* of her sister. Lost her Wonderland into Madness and even herself. Tormented and tortured in an Asylum for ten years of her life, with almost no real help. Lost her rabbit, her cat, her life, home, everything. Then was nearly broken by the very man that took it all away. So she killed that man in poetic justice so he could never harm anyone else. These moments have changed and hardened Alice through most of her life. Having made it hard to accept others into her life closely, always keeping people at arms length, but also willing to put in her all to help others get a better life than she had, or to try and help them have some sense of sanity. She fears physical contact due too the abuse she had and torments, scared of anything doing that again, even more so after what happened with her sister.

▸ what are some fond memories your muse has ?

There is so very few after the age of 8. But before that? Alice remembers fondly how her Father would help so many less fortunate kids or families, to give them a chance to learn, help them with food or clothes. And how Father would take her and her sister out for adventures in the city. Mother being a doctor and taking time at home to teach her daughters at home anything she could. The family dinners, the way they were always such a giving family, despite being so rich and well off. Alice’s older sister Lizzie always encouraging her to be herself, so open and loving. Then there was Wonderland before she fell apart. How she misses her friends even now. Nothing left but pain and heartache, as Alice strives to make better memories in her life.

▸ is it easy for your muse to kill ?

That depends on the person and situation. Alice has stepped across the threshold for murder and killing a long time ago, both in Wonderland and in Reality. Blood and gore are no problem. But if it is someone innocent, or a friend, anything like that? She won’t be able to kill. Injure and disable for their own safety yes, or just defend herself, but not kill. If it was someone that truly deserved it? Absolutely.

▸ what’s it like when your muse breaks down ?

An emotional roller coaster. Alice tries to keep her emotions kept under control, to think as logically as she can after all her experiences. But she has always felt so very deeply, more than many people, and it does not always work. She gets so angry when she gets sad, frustrated at herself for breaking down and upset she’s broken so. But her tears are always so heavy because she tries to keep it all contained. She would only cry harder if she had someone there to let her cry on and have support of.

▸ is your muse capable of trusting someone with their life ?

It is so very rare. But yes, Alice is capable of this. Although she is usually in the position of front liner and protector, as she has been forced to become with no choice.

▸ what’s your muse like when they’re in love ?

Considering how rare it is for Alice, she would be unaware of it at first. Just simply instinct driving her to be closer to the individual that has won her trust and affection. But after she starts to understand it, she will try her best to deny and bury those feelings down. Refusing to ruin a friendship or endanger anyone else. But once she loves someone, Alice loves with all her heart and can be quite a warm person and passionate.

Tagged by: @fatherdamned (thank you so much)

Tagging: @nerv0usm3chanic (lucan), @punsandfuturekingsmen @bluescarfvivi @heartsdefine , @trollamulet, @maiolica-admirer, @reanimatedmuses (Jack)

#alice headcanon #about Alice #(( this was wild to fill out ho boy. ))#(( tried to keep it all fitting for all verses. ))

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jenniferyoung · 4 years ago

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name: jennifer young age: 38 fc: laura vanderroort time in charming: life long occupation: trauma counsellor side: devils positive traits: + valiant, + fierce, + loving negative traits: - worrywart, - insecure, - stubborn children: one boy, 22 years old siblings: one older brother

trigger warnings(please read them carefully, her background is very dark and traumatic): kidnap, abuse, implied rape, teen pregnancy, traumatic child-birth.

this is gonna be really long and i’m sorry. if you actually read it all i’ll give you a cookie

✹ early life was pretty simple, even with a dad and brother in the MC

✹ plans to graduate and go to college to study archaeology

✹ that got yeeted when she was kidnapped not long after her 16th birthday

✹ jenny had been walking home from a friends when she was grabbed from behind and knocked out

✹ she woke up in a basement with her hands and feet chained to the bed. loose enough for her to move around and sit up but not to get free

✹ her captor? turned out to be a man who she’d been seeing a lot of in the last weeks. random encounters that seemed so innocent until right now

✹ he was quite young, late 20′s maybe but he was absolutely insane. completely infatuated with her and thought that by kidnapping her, he could have her for himself and they’d have a happy life. loco maniac with big temper issues

✹ naturally she did try countless times to escape but would be quickly slapped down, only for him to cry and apologise afterwards, “why did you make me do that” as though any of it was her fault

✹ once the abuse turned into physical touches, that’s when her tears dried up and her mind began to go into autopilot. not to mention the drugs he forced down her throat to keep her subdued really took away a lot of her will to fight

✹ it had been two whole months when she finally started accepting her fate. nobody was ever going to find her and as if the man could see that light go out in her eyes, that night he pinned her down and raped her in spite of her pleas

✹ he even had the audacity to call it love

✹ she was pretty much broken after this. especially since she had been a virgin, so imagine how traumatised she was when another 2 months slipped by and she realised she hadn’t had her period

✹ it had been his plan all along, he wanted a family with her because he was convinced “you’ll love me eventually”

✹ it would have been easy enough to break completely but in the following weeks, something really strange happened. instead of focusing on the trauma, on how used and disgusting she felt, she focused on her growing bump

✹ hours alone in the dark, she began to talk to it, as though somehow it was a comfort to them both

✹ the first time she felt it kick was the first time in months she had a spark of life behind her blue eyes. so she did fall in love, not with her captor, but with her baby

✹ at first she did try to hate it, this thing growing inside her that she didn’t ask for but she couldn’t. how could you blame an innocent life for how it came to be?

✹ the following months, she began to put on an act. starting with a smile now and again that looked genuine, to a laugh at one of the mans jokes. making him believe he was winning, that she was slowly coming around to the idea of being with him

✹ for the most part, it worked. the abuse stopped, she convinced him to stop drugging her because it wasn’t good for “their” baby

✹ the plan was to eventually convince him to unchain her. he agreed to unchain her feet, which was a start ( and a relief considering the metal had long since dug right into her ankles )

✹ she waited a few more days but before she could ask about her hands, she felt the first signs of labour

✹ newly terrified, she literally cried and begged him to call an ambulance because holy fuck

✹ obviously he refused and she spent the next 30 hours in excruciating agony. something was not right

✹ she was bleeding, trying to fight the urge to push because her whole instincts were telling her not to, but it was no use

✹ four pushes and a whole lot of banshee screams later, she birthed a baby boy whom she begged to hold instantly, if only to take him out of the mans hands

✹ beautiful. the second he started to cry and looked up at her with his blue eyes she knew there wasn’t anything or anyone she’d ever let hurt him

✹ somewhere between the mixture of emotions, she hadn’t realised that she was starting to bleed out and the panic returned

✹ frantically, she tried to tell the man that he needed to unchain her and take her to a hospital and to her almost shock, he agreed. like he was actually concerned that she was going to bleed out and die if he didn’t.

✹ it was practically impossible to get up the stairs and even harder to hold her son against her chest whilst looking with double vision for something she could use as a weapon

✹ the glimmer of something shiny caught her eye and in a burst of bravery and energy, she grabbed it (a shiny vase on the table top) and swung it around, smashing it off his head

✹ thank god it must have knocked him out for at least a few seconds because she managed to get to and out the front door

✹ that’s when she realised she was still in charming. not only that, but she could see the clubhouse from where she stood & so she ran (hobbled, hopped, nearly crawled w/e) bursting through the doors like something out of a horror movie, dirty and bloody and instantly on her knees because she couldn’t support her own weight anymore

✹ her father, brother and a couple other members instantly flew to her aid. it had to have been nearly a year since she went missing and now here she was, holding a baby and about to die

✹ “he’s mine” was almost all she could manage to whisper as she had no energy to stop one of the guys taking him from her “don’t let him touch him, don’t– don’t let him” don’t let the captor touch her son, is what she meant

✹ it was barely a second after everything turned black and when she woke, it was three days later and she was in hospital. safe

✹ she only asked once about the guy and got the reply from her dad “it’s been handled” presumably she left a good trail of blood for them to find the source. but she never did dare ask, had she killed him with the vase? or did they. not that she cared.

✹ she only went over her ordeal once with her parents, her brother and the mc’s president at the time and then she told them she never wanted to relive it. which suited them just fine because they couldn’t have the guys dead body getting tied to them.

✹ so the only alternative? was to say she had ran away, that she fell pregnant and that’s why she stayed away until she got scared and came home. cue the judgement from the towns snooty bitches

✹ it was a fight and a half to keep her son, with a mother who wanted to support her decision but a father who was adamant she wouldn’t be able to cope

✹ it got overly extreme, she threatened to end her own life if he had her baby taken away & went on to explain that her son was the only thing that kept her going in those months

✹ she wanted to raise him, teach him to be kind and be a good man and to her relief, her father relented

✹ she named him liam because she always recalled someone telling her it meant “unwavering saviour”

✹ the next five years were tough, but she never gave up and she never quit. she focused her energy on her son, on learning to handle her ordeal in a healthy manner. her father paid good money for her to see a trauma counsellor, one out of town who wouldn’t ask questions they didn’t have answers to. the only rules? never tell them her real name (she posed as someone called lucy) and never name the man so it could never be traced back to them

✹ it was an uphill battle and to be honest, even now sometimes it still is

✹ she was inspired by the way the counsellor helped her and decided that’s what she wanted to do with her life now, so she went back to school and studied for a degree

✹ she’s now a qualified trauma and ptsd counsellor with her own office in the hospital. she also does a lot of fundraising for charities that feel close to her heart. domestic violence, etc. etc.

✹ when she was 25, she finally spoke out at a charity auction she’d organised for survivors and it was hands down the scariest thing she’d ever done. but she did it because she wanted to help young girls see that there was always a light at the end of the tunnel. that you’re not defined by your trauma ( she had to tweak a couple facts, such as saying it happened out of town and that the guy got away )

✹ sooo yeah, she’s one tough bitch now. taught herself how to fight and yoo she kicks ass. got a lot of her confidence back and made damn sure she was raising a good boy

✹ there is literally nobody on this earth she loves more than liam and even though he’s 22 now, he’s still very much her baby and her saving grace

bop bop bop there we have it. *hands you a chocolate chip cookie*

connections:

friends

enemies

exes ending on good or bad terms

fwb or past hook ups maybe

someone she councils would be great

her soN liam would be even better. i visualise him as brandon flynn if he could work for you. alternatively, joe keery or dacre montgomery? it’s negotiable

her older brother would be great too

or any mc members who were around at the time her trauma happened

life long besties who would also know the truth whilst everyone else assumed she was some dumb slapper who got knocked up

anything elseeee

#charming.intro #about #TRIGGERS: stated just above the read more - please read them carefully this is some dark stuff

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sorin-in-the-sixth-sense · 4 years ago

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A list of my favourite fictional grey characters (not in order) SPOILER ALERT!

Regina Mills (Once Upon A Time)

There is a reason why Regina is called «The Evil Queen» She was pure evil. A murderer, a kidnapper, a rapist, how could I like her? Well it wasnt before season 3 I started to like her. It took a lot of time. And I suppose I will never fully love her after she raped Graham for...years... and murdered people - children when she was a tiny bit frustrated. I would even say that she is irredeemable. And I thought her redemtion arc was unrealistic in the beginning, and for God’s sake, she should not have been crowned The Good Queen in season 7. But she tried to change so hard for Henry, she tried to redeem herself. Tried to be a good mother for a change. She saved multiple lives and souls. She didnt completely redeem herself, I must admit it. But she tried so hard and I feel like she deserves something from that. She eventually became a very good mother, even though it was a little late since Henry was already 12 when she became one. She was still a bitter bitch and blamed innocent people for unfortunate things that happened to her (Zelena, Mary Margaret, Emma) but by season 7, she became something more than that. She became half good. Grey. And even though she didnt completely redeem herself, she came close. Also, I love her sassy personality, she should be crowned The Sassy Queen, not The Good Queen.

Rumplestiltskin (Once Upon A Time)

The Dark One who after 7 seasons became one of the greatest heroes in OUAT. The man who was known as the village coward because he ran away from the Ogre War and was too afraid to fight for his wife became one of the bravest men. Like Regina, he was a murderer. He was super manipulative with all his deals and the «all magic comes with a price, dearie» thing. He manipulated people into getting themselves killed. Before he became The Dark One, he was a good man with a pure heart. But the power of the dagger took over him and his heart was all black. He was power sick. He always wanted power, but not for selfish reasons. He felt like he needed power to protect his son Bealfire/Neal and his wife Milah, but when he took that power, the darkness came over him and he, after time, became evil. It wasn’t before he met Belle French his heart showed a little bit of light. As he said, she was his light in an ocean of darkness. Their relationship was problematic and selfish in the beginning. He manipulated her into thinking he changed (which you know i detest *cough* James Potter) Rumple loved power more than he loved her, at least in season 4. He too often chose it over her, until season 6 when he started to properly redeem himself. His redemtion arc took over 300 years but it came in the end. His love for her changed A LOT. In the other seasons, his love was unhealthy and selfish. But in season 6 and 7, he changed a lot. This time it wasnt only for Belle, but Gideon too. They helped him let go of power and in season 7, he tried so hard to get rid of the dagger and the power so that he could live a normal life with his family. And after Belle died, he didn’t return to the dagger or the dark side. He helped the good side to defeat Drizella and the other villians in that season. He even became a father figure to Alice. And in the end he sacrificed himself to save Killian’s (Nook) life. And he got reunited with Belle. He is the most interesting character in OUAT, no doubt there.

Sawyer/James Ford (LOST)

Sawyer is without a doubt one of my fave characters from LOST (after Charlie and John) in his background, he was a thief and manipulated woman to believe he loved them, just to take all their money. (Maybe except Cassidy, since he fell in love with her later, but he still manipulated her AND got her pregnant) He’s a real asshole. Buuut - then he became an entirely different (and better) man. He meets Kate Austen and I feel like his love for her changes his character. In the beginning he was a bit of a perve with her (i mean, walking straight towards her completely naked...) he doesnt develope much in the 1 season, but later (beginning in the 3 season) he becomes quite selfless and protective. In season (was it 4? I dont quite remember) he falls in love again with Juliet Burke, and heeeeell, she was good for him. He also developes a nice relationship with Claire Littleton (platonic) he becomes protective of her. He attemts to comfort Hurley after Charlie’s death. In the rest of the seasons he is the born leader. He puts the team before himself (like when he sacrificed his chance to escape the Island) and in the paralell universe he is absolutely the best.

Heathcliff (Wuthering Heights)

Okay, no he’s not exactly a grey character since he’s a lot more dark than light, but I love him too much to not put him here. Differently from the other character I’ve mentioned above, Heathcliff doesnt have a redemtion. He died an awful person. He abused and manipulated a lot of people. Before he became this asshole, he was a much better person. He was an ass to those who deserved it (Hindley, That bitch deserved to die so young. Edward was a kind man, but I don’t like him, sooo... nevermind) The way he treated Isabella was sickening and awful, she had every right to leave him and take Linton away and hate him. I Don’t like Isabella, but she never deserved to be treated that way. His love for Cathy was unhealthy, but it was true and he would do so much for her. (They kinda remind me of Snily, so ofc I ship it) Heathcliff went through so much trauma in his life and never recovered. After Cathy died, he was practically dead too, then he killed himself years later. His life made me cry for days, especially the ending. He is such an interesting character with so many layers.

Ulrich Nielsen (Dark)

(Before I say anything, I haven’t finished the entire show yet, so this is gonna be short and probably not 100% correct)

To be honest, I don’t like Ulrich at all as a person. I look at him and I see a fully grown up man with no remorse for what he did to Regina as a teen. He cheated on his wife with a woman he didnt even love. He tried to murder a CHILD who hadnt done anything wrong (yet) because he thought he was going to kill his brother and son in the future (okay, i get why he did it. He was desperate to get Mikkel back and the whole time-tarvelig thing was extremely stressfull) BUT HE COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING A LOT LESS HARMFULL TO PREVENT EVERYTHING TO HAPPEN. Despite this, i love him as a character. He is so interesting and there are times were I have to remind myself why i dont like him. He is brave and intelligent and... so fucking hot as a teen.

Hannah Kahnwald (Dark)

(Again, havent watched the whole show yet)

This girl is MESSED UP. When she was fourteen, she accused Ulrich of being a rapist, which is a very serious accusation and then blamed it on Regina who she knew was a victim of Ulrich and Katharina’s bullying. She is a home-wrecker, and when Katharina found out about Ulrich cheating on her with Hannah and confronted her, Hannah blamed it on Ulrich and said he pressed her and that she wanted it to end, but he refused or whatever, i dont 100% remember the conversation. But she was also a very good mother to Jonas and she was so sweet to Mikkel/Michael. She is a bitch, so much that its impossible to not like her.

Severus Snape (Harry Potter)

Saved the best one to last. The guy my whole account is about, ofc he’s on this list, and ofc this is gonna be the longest text.

This guy is a complete asshole. Always has been, always will be. He bullied Harry and Co (mostly Harry and Neville) he was a bitter and sarcastic bitch. He used to be a follower of Voldemort. Even in his youth he had a lot of flaws. We all know he became the bastard he was due to childhood trauma, mental illnesses and manipulation. I believe he had depression, grief and PTSD. At least in his 20’s he was suicidal, and I believe it remained like that til the day he died, because he had no one to help him or give him support. He turned to the dark side in an attemt to make his life better (as many members of gangs do) but he only stayed like that for two years, which is extremely impressive if you know what kind of person Voldemort is. As a 21 year old, Snape was a very different person from what he was as a 38 year old. If he was the way he was as a 38 yr old when Lily, James and Harry was in danger. First of all, he wouldnt start to try to save Lily by asking Voldemort, he would have went straight to Dumbledore, probably with his own brilliant plan on how to save them. Second, he wouldnt hesitate for a second to save James and Harry to. In canon, he needed to have a personal reason to save them, which was Lily’s feelings I believe. As a 38 yr old, he risked his life to save people he hated (Lupin) This is a great character developement. He went from being a selfish bitch, to become a selfless asshole. He was that kind of person who did anything in his power to protect someone, even if that person had nothing to do with winning the war and had nothing to gain himself.

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megashadowdragon · 5 years ago

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itsclydebitches . tumblr . com/post/180244981260/oz-just-fucks-off-into-oscars-head-this-is-proof

??? Do you really mean this, anon? Is that why it’s in quotes with no further comment? Or are you just fucking with me? Alright. *rubs hands together* I’ll play your game.

First of all, we need to look at the whole scene. Ozpin just watched an HD Color highlight reel of his entire past plus probably filled in some gaps that he didn’t even know were there because of no one else in existence being able to refute Salem’s lies to him. He’s on his knees fucking CRYING in front of all of them, but they don’t show a shred of empathy with their anger after watching the most broken man on earth finally start to shatter in front of them. And they just break him further. That’s fucking NOT okay.

And if we’re gonna talk selfish, let’s also talk Raven, shall we?

Raven is a… very unlikeable and complicated woman. She is the epitome of a selfish coward. She lies to get Yang to side with her, lies to the bad guys so she gets the relic, and so on. And when confronted on her lies and cowardice by Yang, she tries to turn the conversation to how much SHE has suffered and how much SHE has had to go through before Yang cuts her off.

Ozpin has pulled none of this shit.

The guy has made mistakes and some poorly-thought-out decisions, sure, but he’s never done them with any malicious intent or self-service. He lied about Haven? That’s hardly self-serving. He withheld the relic’s Grimm attraction? If that was truly self-serving then why did he reveal it HIMSELF? And withholding Salem’s immortality, well. That is arguably the only self-serving tidbit he’s withheld, and we’ve seen the damage it causes when it’s spread unwisely. Just look at Raven. Look at Lionheart.

And when RWBYQ confront him about his past, they don’t give him a chance to defend himself. Raven was at least allowed to defend herself before it was clear she was spouting total bullshit. RWBYQ just let Ozpin say what they want to hear in their anger and don’t let him give context. That’s NOT confrontation. As itsclydebitches said in their recap of the episode, it’s an emotional witchhunt.

The kicker? Raven is a character who doesn’t face her past, who is confronted with its consequences and can’t handle it. Yang is the very embodiment of the damage Raven does when she runs away. A girl with abandonment issues who had to lose another mother and felt like she had to fill in the role for her sister. And when confronted by all this, Raven does all she can to deflect or turn the conversation in her favor. But in the end, she’s left with a choice. To step the fuck up for once and take the target away from her daughter, or to leave. She chose to leave.

Now, let’s move to Ozpin. This guy, who is apparently ALSO a self-serving coward, hm? He doesn’t run when confronted by Team RWBY and answers their questions with no bullshit coating like Raven tried to do. They also don’t allow him the dignity of defending himself, but apparently, Raven is afforded that. He sits there and TAKES WHAT THEY’RE DISHING OUT DESPITE ALSO REELING FROM JINN’S EXPOSITION DUMP AND BEING IN THE MIDDLE OF A BREAKDOWN. He only retreats when Qrow, really his only friend, basically condemns him and doesn’t allow him to tell Qrow that what they did wasn’t in vain. You sit there and tell me being disowned by your only friend doesn’t hurt like a bitch. I dare you.

Only then does he decide they don’t want him around anymore, and who can blame him? They’re the ones placing all the blame for everything on his shoulders, does ANYONE think that they’re wanted in that situation? And when he does leave, they say (in again, a very loose paraphrasing of @itsclydebitches recap) how dare you. How dare you defend yourself. How dare you leave so we can’t yell at you some more. How dare you not continue to lead us after we undermined your leadership. How. Dare. You.

itsclydebitches:

I’d also just like to point out that this is precisely what I was talking about in my other post. (itsclydebitches . tumblr . com/post/180232247775/on-ozpins-humanity) Everyone is happy to emphasize the mistakes Ozpin makes as a flawed human being, but he’s not allowed to react like a flawed human being. The expectation here - by both the anon and QRWBY, but particularly Yang - is that Ozpin should be able turn off any emotions when it’s convenient for them and turn them back on when they want their nurturing mentor back. You’re going to have a panic attack now? No, no, no, that needs to wait until we’re finished literally and figuratively punching you. Yang says straight out she’s not done with him yet.

Really, just to recap the series of events here:

1. Ozpin explains to a group of children that he’s a reincarnating immortal and explicitly says he’s spent the last couple thousands years trying to face the consequences of his actions. That’s… his whole character. A man who is facing up to mistakes, both those he really made and those he only perceives as his fault. Ffs Ozpin’s most famous line is ALL ABOUT acknowledging mistakes and trying to deal with the fallout. In what world does this man run from consequences??

2. Ozpin immediately offers up the information that the relic attracts grimm when it becomes relevant and is willing to acknowledge/deal with the girls’ anger right then and there. Ruby only stops them because they’re still being attacked

3. Minutes later Ozpin continues to answer Yang’s questions despite the fact they should really get to safety. He understands their frustrations and is trying to be as transparent as possible while also keeping himself (and by extension Humanity) safe. Ozpin provides a lot of personal information on how the last time he shared his secrets someone betrayed him. And the time before that. And implied who knows how many other times before that. It’s not personal, it’s not a condemnation of who you girls are, but Bad Things Happened the last time I shared this info so I’m asking that you have a little faith in me

4. Yang rejects that

5. Oscar confirms that Ozpin is still hiding things from them - something they already know because he literally just acknowledged that - and gives them the means to take it forcibly

6. Ruby does that

7. Ozpin watches a HD play-by-play of his worst memories, quite literally re-living thousands of years of trauma, including shit he didn’t get to see the first time around like the gods toying with the former love of his life. He comes out of that emotionally gutted, weeping, panicking, and the first thing he sees is people who he thought were his friends screaming at him for not having the answer to an impossible problem

8. Despite having just learned his entire life story, the girls have even more questions. Except now they’re just accusations disguised as questions. Ozpin still tries to talk to them though. He is interrupted/assaulted three times during this: when Yang is yelling at him (interrupted), after he admits to Ruby that there’s no plan (punched into a tree), and when he tries to reassure Qrow (interrupted again). He’s trying to face the consequences in front of him and they’re not letting him do that. Because they’re not interested in having him acknowledge responsibility (deserved or otherwise) because that would eventually lead to absolution. No, they just want to use him as an emotional punching bag right now

9. Qrow then confirms Ozpin’s greatest fear: he’s irredeemable. People are incapable of loving him after they learn his life story. All that projection onto Lionheart? It comes full circle. It doesn’t matter the staggering good you’ve managed to accomplish in the face of seemingly impossible odds. Kept humanity alive and flourishing for thousands of years? WHO CARES. You made mistakes alongside that good so we’re done with you. They make it clear that Ozpin currently has no reason to remain with this group except to let them keep abusing him.

10. So he leaves.

Anyone would have left. It’s human to remove yourself from that kind of situation. But oh yeah, Oz isn’t allowed that.

kagome1991 said: Jesus Christ I feel this with every fiber of my being. Raven and Salem are practically worshipped in this fndm but Oz? Seen as the worst character. Fuck outta here with that.

the-kiwi-is-not-a-pewee said: @kagome1991 If anyone deserves to be Yeeted out, it’s Raven or Salem, not OZ

kagome1991 said: @the-kiwi-is-not-a-pewee Absolutely. With the way this volume is going, I don’t think I wanna watch the rest unless the Oz/Oscar thing is addressed in the story. I just don’t like where Team RWBY and JNR are going in terms of development. They just come off as not having empathy when it comes to Ozpin or Oscar for that matter.

#rwby #rwby volume 6 #rwby qrow #qrow branwen #qrow rwby #rwby ozpin #ozpin rwby #ozma rwby #rwby volume 6 chapter 4 #rwby volume 6 episode 4 #oscar pine #rwby oscar #oscar rwby #itsclydebitches #the-kiwi-is-not-a-pewee

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youngbloodlisk · 4 years ago

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so this doesn't have a title and it isn't relating to any fandom or anything. it's just something i wrote like....mid-2019? used random names and stuff cause i didnt know who to write it for. and i just found it in my notes app lol so i thought i'd share in case anyone would be interested

+ i'm on mobile so i'm immensely sorry for the lack of a keep reading tab

word count: 1.1k~

warnings: death, cheating, manipulation, the guy is an asshole and attacks the girl's insecurities (worth, body), girl blames herself

"Hello?" I answer the call as cheerily as I can. It had been a less than enjoyable day that gloomy February 8th.

"Hi, Anna, it's Lindsay." The sound of my boyfriend's mother's voice lifts my spirits a bit.

I know it's Jared's birthday but he always tells me to pretend it's any other day and if I dare go out of my way for him he won't talk to me until March. I know he's kidding, but I always hope he'll let me do something for him one day.

"Hey, Mrs. Arthur. What's up?"

"Well, it's Jared's birthday, as I'm sure you know. We're planning a surprise party for him, and I was hoping you'd be able to help us set up? We're working on it right now. Are you free?"

"Yes, ma'am, I'm free. I'd love to help, I'll be right over!"

"Thank you, Anna!" She hangs up and I grab my keys.

Soon enough, I make it to his house and let Mrs. Arthur know that I'm at the door. She had said not to knock, as to not make Jared (who is upstairs studying in his room with his chem lab partner) suspect anything.

I help them for around an hour setting up decorations and cooking Jared's favorite foods.

His family keep telling me they appreciate my input on the decorations, as I apparently know him "so much better" than any of them do.

"Ok, I think it's all good. Anna, if you wanna go on upstairs and get him? Just tell him that I said dinner is ready." Mrs. Arthur gives me a wink as I nod and start up the stairs.

I walk all the way to the end of the hall until I reach the door I've entered a million times before.

It's been forever since we last knocked on each others' bedroom doors before we walked in, so I don't even bother.

I crack the door and open it slowly, expecting to see two people sitting at his desk working.

Instead I see my boyfriend and his lab partner (Carissa), both half naked, making out on his bed.

When they heard the door open they jump away from each other and look at me.

I stare into the eyes of the man I trusted for two years.

I had told him so much, things I hadn't even told my best friends.

Wasted so much time, money, energy, and love on this man.

This man who took everything we had, everything he made me think we had, and threw it in a fire.

My brain files through how many of the weird things he's said make sense now.

The amount of lies he told me.

The amount of loving looks that were practically nothing more than a theatrical act.

The way he manipulated my emotions, made me fall in love with him and trust him with everything I had, made me feel special to him and loved by him.

It's all just... appalling.

How could a human being be so... easily used? How could I have been so stupid?

And I physically feel my heart break.

"Anna, it's not what you think-" Jared immediately begins lying to defend himself.

Carissa simply looks annoyed.

I spare no strength slamming his door before quickly making my way down the hall and the stairs.

"Anna, wait!" Jared yells from the top of the stairs.

I halt immediately, so used to obeying what he tells me to do... I don't even realize that I can still walk out.

All of his family are watching in confusion.

Jared runs down the steps, messy hair and shirtless, which only confuses the family more.

I turn around, the tears in my eyes threatening to escape.

"That was not what you think it was-"

"Then what was it, Jared? How are you possibly gonna explain that to me?"

"She... I..."

"I thought so." I turn back around and head for the door but his next words truly stop me in my tracks, without order this time.

"You shouldn't be so surprised, Anna! You were never good enough for me, you knew that."

I hear his mother begin to scold him.

"Mom, stop. She always knew I deserved better than her. She'd never be enough for me. No matter how much of her there happened to be." The extra jab at my body feels like an extra arrow to the chest. "She'll never be enough for anyone. She should expect something like this to happen to her with anyone she dates." He begins to raise his voice. "Who wouldn't need better while they're still pity-dating her? Why am I the bad guy? Why am I the bad guy when you just weren't enough for me, Anna?"

"Jared Arthur!" His mother sounds utterly horrified at her son's behavior.

"I'm out." Jared's shoulder hits mine as he storms past everybody, grabbing his hoodie from beside the door, and slamming the door on his way out.

A few seconds of silence follows, before his mom is by my side muttering her apologies and how disappointed she is in him.

I shake my head.

I push her away as kindly as possible and leave without a word.

Simply trying to make it to my car without crying.

I go to sleep early that night.

The pain is still evident in the tear stains covering about half of my pillow.

I'm woken up by my ringtone, a call from an unknown number.

I groggily answer with a "Hello?".

As in, 'Hello, what absolute garbage is waking me up by calling me at 3am?'

The more the man, the police officer, on the phone talks to me, the more I wake up until I'm crying once again.

"Hello, Anna? This is Officer McNab. I'm sorry to inform you that Mr. Jared Arthur is deceased as of 10:30pm last night. There was an unreported car crash. You are on his emergency contact list. I'm very sorry to wake you, ma'am, especially bringing news such as this. I apologize. But I have to know if you are related to Mr. Arthur or not."

"N-No, sir. I'm his girlfr-... I'm his ex-girlfriend." My voice shakes and it's near impossible to form a sentence.

"I see. Again, I'm very sorry, ma'am."

"Thank you for c-calling me, officer."

"Of course ma'am. Thank you for your time." He hangs up and my phone drops from my hand, seemingly in slow motion.

10:30pm. Not long after he left the house, driving away because he was mad at me.

It was me.

I killed him.

#ciiikbwork

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chillax-kass-w · 5 years ago

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After All | RM3

[Reiner Braun/Reader]

[TW: Description of dead bodies. Skip to “There was a fire burning somewhere if this bothers you]

Happiness seems impossible for Reiner, but he may get there after all.

Read on AO3

[As a note, the format of this story is as follows: chapters actually titled “Chapter _” are current to the Marley Arc, chapters titled “M_” are Reiner’s memories in succession, and chapters titled “RM_” are the Reader’s memories in succession]

Hell…

She was sure she was there.

The absolute horror of Death was everywhere.

The stench of Death filled the air.

Absolute. Hell.

Half eaten bodies littered the ground. Blood doused every surface. People used to live here; people died here.

If this was hell, where did the Dead go?

She picked up another body, barely able to drag it toward a cart. Rigor mortis had set in almost two days prior. The skin was blistered, well, the skin that remained. She’d had the “luck” to pick up many half eaten humans whose innards had liquified, and she had no idea if she’d be able to scrub her skin enough after such a sight.

After that body, she had no recollection of her time spent in Hell. Perhaps it was minutes, perhaps it was days, but she knew she felt relief when she shed her clothes and took a long awaited shower. It was perhaps a minute of cold water, but it calmed her need to scrub every inch of her body. When she dressed herself in fresh clothing, she wondered if it was all worth it. She wondered if she could step foot outside those doors again. Everything in her told her no.

But she knew she had to, so, without another thought, she set foot into the night.

There was a fire burning somewhere.

Who was she kidding? Everything was burning. But there’s a reason they surround fire with stones.

There was a reason these fires were worth it: just one stone.

Eren had sealed the wall in Trost with a stone, and fires blazed inside. Inside the fires blazed the lost.

She felt lost.

She felt like a fool.

Although training had prepared her to face the Titans, it hadn’t prepared her for the loss of her comrades, even though she was warned time and time again. She’d forged such strong attachments to her fellow cadets that she forgot they’d be liable to disappear the moment a Titan was in sight. At the moment, she felt remorse for getting so attached.

She felt like more of a fool then.

What was the point of fighting without those attachments? If you had no one in the world, life was monotonous and pointless, in her eyes at least. So, she shook off her negative thoughts and resolved to carry the dead with her. She resolved to fight for them, to live in their stead and bring peace into the world.

With them at her side, she felt she could accomplish anything.

(She told herself that, at least).

She wandered in the direction of the smoke, the insufferable smoke, and she found the many fires blazing with the flames of Death. Her living comrades were staring into the blaze, their eyes heavy with sadness, grief, an inconceivable emotion that only soldiers know. Following their gaze, she saw Sarah. No, not in the flesh, but in spirit. She knew the girl was burning. She knew the girl was gone. Yet, she felt hands upon her shoulders, pushing her forwards. Perhaps it was a hallucination, but that weight was visceral. She carried on, refusing to cry in front of these people. She carried on, pushed by an invisible force to move.

She didn’t stop until she’d seen every fire. She counted forty. Forty flames for perhaps four hundred lives. She didn’t stop there. She continued into the streets, the silence a hollow reminder of the flames at her back. She turned a corner to find a small patch of grass with a tree at its center. Against that tree stood a figure. She knew that posture like no other.

“Reiner?” Her voice was shaky, unused in the past two days except to name the Dead. His eyes found her, and he said not a word. His shoulders loosened when he allowed his arms to fall to his sides. She approached him despite their agreement. She refused to leave him alone in that moment; she refused to be alone in that moment. She sat to his left, leaning against the trunk to look up at the stars. The silence was comfortable, uncomfortable, everything in between. She expected him to leave. She expected him to brush her off, just as he did the night of the graduation.

He sat down beside her.

“Marco’s dead.”

In that moment, all (f/n) knew was that she couldn’t breathe. Her chest physically hurt, to the point that she reached up to place her palm against her chest. She had to make sure the heart inside was still beating.

“No, that can’t be true. Marco was strong. He wouldn’t die—”

“He’s gone,” came Reiner’s soft voice. He’d reached out to place his hand on her shoulder, his other hand grasping his hair. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She turned to see his eyes blown wide with grief, with misplaced blame. His words only repeated: I’m sorry, so sorry. He looked so broken. In her eyes, he was always so unbreakable, as if his defenses were eternal. To see him unraveling before her broke her heart evermore. So, she turned to hold him. She rested her head against his chest. His heartbeat was heavy, so heavy it was palpable against her forehead. Arms around him, she cried.

“It’s not your fault, Reiner. Please, please, don’t blame yourself for things out of your control. Please, Reiner.” She felt his hand upon her back, and his chest heaved with pent up tears. She sobbed against him, dams well broken. She saw Marco, she saw Sarah, she saw blood upon her clothes, blood upon her hands. Blame, blame, blame. “Sarah’s dead because of me!” At that, Reiner stilled. She gripped his jacket with white knuckled hands. Her breathing quickened, her palms sweat. It was as if her body was shutting down in confusion. She wished it would. “If— If I would’ve been faster! She would still be here! If only it’d been me! She deserves to be here more than me!”

Reiner held her away from him, his hands upon her shoulders. His gaze was hard, wet with freshly shed tears, yet hard nonetheless. “You can’t tell me to not blame myself and go on spouting that. It was her time, (f/n), not yours. You deserve to live more than anyone.” He moved his hands to her cheeks, and it took everything in her to not sob at the tender touch. “Look at me, (f/n).” Her eyes rose. All she could see was hazel. “Don’t blame yourself. You’re not a Titan. You’ve done nothing wrong. You don’t deserve any of this. Any of it! Promise me you won’t blame yourself.”

She could only stare back, tears still streaming down her cheeks. Reiner’s eyes were wide, so, so alive. So beautiful. Her breathing steadied enough to speak. “I'll try, but only if you promise me the same.”

He closed his eyes, much to her dismay. She could tell he was hesitating. His brows were furrowed, even as his eyes remained shut. Then, he nodded, hazel eyes admirable again. “I promise.”

She found it in her to smile, if only for the fact that Reiner wouldn’t burden himself so. She knew she had to uphold her end of the agreement, so she focused on the moment rather than the past. Even still, she felt that weight upon her shoulders, saw that ghostly smile. She wouldn’t be able to move her blame instantly, but she could take shaky steps forward. And that’s what she resolved to do, for herself, for Sarah, for Marco. She promised to live in their stead. She promised to see what was beyond the Walls for them, for her father, for her mother, and for anyone else that was lost that day. As her head fell against Reiner’s chest, she also promised him something: to be there for him in times such as these. She was content to rest there for what felt like eternity, his breathing steadying, her breathing following suit. It was silent for a time; she didn’t keep track of it.

“You know, I decided on where I’m headed.” She felt his hand tangle itself in her hair, and she hummed against his shirt. She still couldn’t breathe through her nose, and her lungs still felt a tad unsteady in her chest, but she focused on his words to ground herself. “I became a soldier to fight for Humanity. The only way to do that is to join the Survey Corps.” At that, her head shot up, and her wide eyes met his.

“What? Are you serious? But you were second best! You’d have a comfortable life!” She couldn’t believe he’d risk his life after what they saw that day. “It was your dream!”

Then again, that sounded pretty hypocritical.

He shook his head. “No, I realized that’s not for me.” He looked up at the stars; shadows trailed across his face. She followed his gaze. Little light came from above, as a new moon sailed silently across the sky. A new moon for a new start, new hope. In that moment, the stars seemed to shine brighter than ever.

He was silent for a while. Then, four words fell from his lips.

“I’m a soldier now.”

#reiner braun #reiner braun x reader #reiner braun/reader #aot #snk #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin

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evil-overlord-scriptology · 4 years ago

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Do You Have Power Over Me? Pt. 1 (ARCHIVED)

Document has been preserved in its original state

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Or Labyrinth come to think of it... AND IF I DID THERE WOULD BE A FREAKIN' SEQUEL!!!!!!

I wrote this simply because, who WOULDN'T? XDD Also it's my friend's birthday today!! And since she's a bigger fan of the Labyrinth than I am, consider this as a birthday present, Sukoshi-NinjaFox'sBuddy! (And a birthday contribution for Sakura since they both share the same birthday...)

"...For my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom as great!" I said firmly to the air, pretending to see the Goblin King right in front of me. Evil, brooding, powerful, and hot. I raised my chin and just about shouted, "You have no power over me!"

"Aren't you a little too obsessed with that story?" Sakura asked behind me. I yelped and spun to see my pink haired stepsister and best friend sitting on a stone bench, her eyebrows raised at me. I giggled self-consciously, "I didn't know anyone was here..." I said sheepishly. Sakura rolled her sea green eyes, "Yeah, you're so caught up in your 'Labyrinth' world that you don't even realized people are actually standing there." I crossed my arms, "You followed me, didn't you?" She squeaked and stiffened, "N-no..." I rolled my eyes, "Saku, let me tell you a secret. To be an avid reader you must have a large imagination, so you can imagine all the details. Thus to have a large imagination you must be observant. And you, dear Sakura, are lying. You followed me here. I'll bet my whole Labyrinth collection that, your dad put you up to this." Sakura glared at me, her cheeks turning pink, "I hate you, Kanari. Especially when you get all logical and formal on me."

I held up a finger to correct her when the clouds that had been hanging over us all day opened and dropped tons of water down at once. Sakura gave an unearthly screech and tried to cover up her styled hair. I laughed and spun in a circle, "Rain, rain dripping down!" I sang. Sakura grabbed my arm and pulled me into a run, "I have a freakin' date tonight Kanari! I'm not going to get my hair all ruined just so you can play 'Singing in the-Freakin'-Rain!!!!' Move it or lose it!" I laughed at my stepsister and let her drag me back to our house.

Of course Kizashi was waiting for us, "Kanari..." He started. I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, yeah. I should be more responsible. I've got homework." I moved to step past my stepfather but he blocked me, "No you don't. You wouldn't have left if you did. Talk to me, Kanari." I narrowed my eyes, "It's not fair! You always blame me for everything, but never Sakura. I'm always to blame and-" Kizashi narrowed his eyes, "You're eighteen and the oldest, you should know better." I rolled my eyes, "You and Mom have a date, Sakura has a date, but heaven forbid that I ever get a date, because then who is going to watch over the brat!?" I stomped into the house, Kizashi storming after me with Sakura mildly following wringing out her soaked hair in the process, "Don't you dare call your brother that!" Kizashi shouted. "Half-brother! Akanbou is my half-brother!" I retorted, turning to face him.

At that moment my mother came in, "What is all the shouting about?" She asked, carrying Akanbou, who was screaming so loud that it hurt my ears. "Nothing! You are just ruining my life, that's what!!" I snapped. My mother frowned, "Kanari, stop being dramatic. If you had a date then we would hire a babysitter, but-" I glared at her, "So you're saying that I can't get a date?" Mebuki narrowed her eyes, "Now see here, young lady, you either drop the 'woe-the-world-is-against-me' act, or your grounded!" I pushed past her, making Akanbou cry even louder, and started up the stairs, "What good is grounding me? I'm already stuck here watching over the baby!" I shouted and stomped up the stairs before either of them could say anything else.

Several minutes later, after Mebuki and Kizashi had left, Sakura tapped on the door, "Kanari...? Can I come in?" I rolled over on my bed, never taking my eyes off my worn copy of the Labyrinth, "Shouldn't your date be here soon?" I asked. Sakura sighed outside the door and said, "Kanari, if you want me to, I can call it off and-" Akanbou started wailing again. I tried to ignore it, but he just cried louder and louder. Finally I threw down my book and stalked out of my room to the nursery across the hall. Sakura was bent over our half-brother, trying to sooth him and failing, "Can't you calm him down?" I asked. Sakura glared at me, "It's your fault, with all that yelling you did he's been finicky!" I shoved a finger in her face, making her go slightly cross-eyed to see my fingertip, "Watch it." Akanbou reached a high-piercing screech that made both Sakura and I cringe.

Growling under my breath I took Akanbou from Sakura and placed him on my hip, "Akanbou be quiet! You're giving me a head-ache." He didn't even quiet for a second. I swung him around, "Come on, Akanbou. Look I'm sorry, alright? Please be quiet. I can't take this all night!" The doorbell rang and Sakura glanced to the door, "Uhhh... my date's here I guess. I gotta go." She glanced at me again, "Will you be okay?" I glared at her, "As okay as I can be. Go." My pink haired stepsister cast one final look at Akanbou and me before walking out. The minute I was sure she was out of hearing I held Akanbou at arms length, "Look, we're stuck with each other for a while, so shut up!" If anything, he only got louder. Groaning I laid him down, defeated. "Sometimes I wish that the Labyrinth was real and the goblins would come and take you away... right now." I snapped as I walked away from him, leaving him to cry himself out.

He stopped crying.

I turned to the crib, my eyebrows pulled down in a worried frown. Babies just didn't stop crying, that was impossible. Evil giggles filled the room as I cautiously made my way to the crib, hesitantly calling out Akanbou's name. He didn't even flinch. Cautiously I reached out and jerked back the covers to reveal... absolutely nothing. Now I was freaked out. Something scurried across the floor, I could hear the quick tapping of claws against the wooden floor, but when I turned, nothing was there. More giggling and cackles sounded from various corners of the room. I whimpered and took a step away from the crib, scared.

I stiffened feeling something dark and ominous emanating from behind me. Slowly I turned and faced the threat. There, sitting in my stepdad's reading chair pushing in the corner of the room was the Goblin King, I was sure of it. Everything about him was dark, from his long coal black hair tied at the nape of his neck and depthless onyx eyes to his elegant, yet frightening, clothes. "Y-your... him... aren't you?" The Goblin King dipped his head in acknowledgment. "You have my brother...?" Again he nodded silently. "Can I have him back? I-I didn't mean what I said." The Goblin King finally stood, shadows pouring from his cape, "Kanari... you asked and I have given. Go on about your life, for your brother is one of us now." He turned but I reached out to grab his arm. He faced me again before I could lay my hand on him, "Please. I want my brother back."

Instead of answering he held out a crystal ball. I took a step back, for some reason I didn't want to touch the thing, "Forget about your brother, Kanari. Here, take this as payment. It can show you anything you want." I shook my head, "I want my brother!" I said, raising my voice. The Goblin King frowned slightly, but before he could say anything I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. I stared at the open door, I had thought Sakura had left already! What would I tell her when she found that Akanbou was gone and this dark Goblin King in his place? "Kanari? Do I hear voices? Who are you talking to?" My younger sister asked as she walked in the room, her eyes widened when she caught sight of the fey before me. She pointed at him and opened her mouth to scream when suddenly the world spun in a swirl of color and shadows.

vvv

I landed on my butt, the wind flying out of me. Sakura landed beside me as I stood to survey our surroundings. All around us was nothing but red tinted arid wastelands. In the distance I could see the Labyrinth and the castle beyond it, it was more magnificent that I could ever have imagined. I twisted to see what was behind us, but my eyes riveted to the Goblin King standing under a dead tree, evil rolling off him in waves. Sakura huddled against me, staring at the dark fey, still not used to his presence. He stared at me, "Your brother is at the center, in my castle. You have thirteen hours to find him, or he will become a goblin forever." I frowned, "That's not fair!" I snapped. Amusement sparked deep within his eyes, "I suggest you begin. It's further than you think, and time is short." In a whirlwind of shadows, he disappeared. Sakura stood, "Why is Akanbou in the goblin castle? Why does this place exist? Am I dreaming? Please say I'm dreaming!" She babbled, mostly to herself. I reach over and pinched her arm to prove she wasn't dreaming.

She spun on me suddenly, "You did this, didn't you? Of course, you're the only one who used to believe in this crap! It's all your fault!!!" She reached for me, probably to strangle me, but I deflected her, "Sakura! Calm down. I didn't actually believe that if I said those stupid words it would actually happen! I was just being sarcastic!" I grabbed her shoulders and shook her, "Get a grip, Saku. We have thirteen hours to figure out this labyrinth, or we'll both be regretting my stupid mistake for the rest of our lives! Didn't you hear him? Akanbou is going to change into a goblin if we don't hurry!" That snapped her out of it, "Alright, we just need to... take baby steps. Come on! It can't be that hard!!" She grabbed my wrist and dragged me down the hill towards the stone wall that contained the Labyrinth.

"Hey! Watch it, Sakura!" I said as I nearly tripped over yet another fallen branch. Instead of answering she pulled to a stop, making me bump into her. I opened my mouth to berate her, but the words died on my lips when I saw what made her stop, the wall to the Labyrinth. Sakura and I exchanged looks, this place reeked of evil. If it wasn't Akanbou's life as a human on the line I would have turned and gone back. Sakura took a step forward, "Is there a way to get in?" She asked me, but I shook my head. I didn't now. "Yes." A voice said. Both of us gave girly shrieks and spun to see a red haired boy Sakura's age glaring at us with jade eyes.

I found my voice first, "And you are...?" The red head's eyes darted to me, "Gaara." He barked, as if his own name was a curse. Without another word he turned and began walking away from us. We followed him cautiously, thinking he was leading us somewhere. After a few minutes he turned to us, looking almost psychotic, "Why are you following me?!" He growled. Sakura flinched but asked, "Aren't you leading us to the door?" "No." He snapped back quickly. I tilted my head, "Then, can you show us?" "No." Sakura and I looked at each other, was he doing this deliberately? My stepsister turned back to the glowering red head, "How do you get into the Labyrinth?" The boy huffed and said cryptically, "Through a door." I glared, losing my patients, "Will you or will you not help us?" Gaara shrugged, "If you ask the right questions..."

Sakura pursed her lips, thinking long and hard, "Where is the door to the Labyrinth?" Gaara cracked a small smile, "Right there." He said jerking his thumb to the right. As if on cue two doors that were embedded in the stonework creaked open by themselves. If was a wonder we had missed it before. Sakura turned back to the infuriating red head, "Will... Will you help us through?" Gaara shook his head, "No. Now go away, I have things to do." I shot him an evil look as I pushed my sister inside before she could bother him again.

We both looked to the right then to the left, nothing but straight walls as far as we could see. I glanced at Sakura, "Paper, Rock, Scissors?" I asked, half joking. Sakura gave me a look that told me she didn't appreciate my wit. "Cozy, isn't it?" Gaara asked directly behind me. I yelped and spun as did Sakura. The pink haired girl glanced both directions again, "Uh... which way do we go?" Gaara shrugged, leaning against the door way, "Which ever way you decide to go." Sakura frowned and didn't say another thing. I perked up, "Which way would you go?" I asked, hoping that he would give us a firm answer. Gaara raised nonexistent eyebrows, "Me? Neither. I would turn around and walk out." He said then straightened and did just that. The doors slammed behind him, trapping us in the Labyrinth. Sakura looked at me, her green eyes filled with tears and fright. Once again I cursed my stupid move to banish our poor brother to this place. "Let's go to the left." I said, taking charge of the situation. Sakura nodded.

vvv POV Change vvv

"Brother! Did I hear from the guards correctly?" Sasuke snapped as he stormed into the throne room, goblins were tripping over themselves to get out of his way. King Itachi may be a ruthless ruler, but he was no where near as cruel as his younger brother, the Goblin Prince. Itachi spared Sasuke a glance of acknowledgment, and slight annoyance, before returning his attention to the cooing baby in his lap. Sasuke glared at the kid, "So it is true. The Labyrinth is active again, and some poor girl is having to fight her way here. She'll fail and you know it!" He growled. Itachi handed the babe off to one of the many goblins and stood, "We need mates, and unless you want to pledge yourself to a goblin woman, I suggest you don't question my methods." Sasuke crossed his arms, "What? IF this girl happens to miraculously succeed, are we going to share her?"

Itachi allowed himself a small smirk, "This girl has her younger sister with her." That shut Sasuke up. It had always been just one girl going through the Labyrinth, but none of them ever succeed to making it to the castle. Could two girls possibly make it through? Itachi saw what Sasuke was thinking and said, "If you will excuse me, I have things to arrange. Watch the boy while I'm gone." Itachi could feel Sasuke's discomfort around the child as he walked away and smiled. Things were going as planned.

vvv POV Change vvv

"Oh, we'll never get out of here! It goes on and on, never turning at all! GAH!!" Sakura shouted and kicked a branch in frustration before sitting down beside me against one of the walls. I shrugged, "Something will happen, just you-" "'Allo." Something small and squeaky said. Sakura and I stared at each other then down at the small face sticking out of the wall. It was the face of a pug. I blinked, that wasn't there a second ago, "Did you just say 'hello'?" The pug shook its head, "No, I said 'allo' but that works just the same." Sakura saw a chance for help and jumped for it, "Can you tell us if there's a way through this Labyrinth?" "I'm just a pug stuck in the wall, sorry." The pug said sadly then brightened, "Wanna give me an ear scratch?" Sakura obliged while I said, "This path can't be the only one, there's got to be turns and openings somewhere, but we just can't find them!" The pug, panting from being petted, said, "Sure there's lots of openings. This place is full of them! You just gotta look. There's one in front of you there, in fact." Sakura and I both looked, but saw nothing but an empty wall.

Sakura turned back to the pug, "No there isn't." She said, but suddenly I understood. How stupid did I have to be not to see it!? As Sakura argued with the pug on whether or not there was an opening in front of us or not I reached out as if to touch the wall and walked through the camouflaged opening. "Sakura! He was right, there's two more ways this way!" I said excitedly. The pug sniffed, "See? She's the smart one..." Sakura gave him one last glare while she joined me. She jumped up and down when she saw the new paths. "Come on! This should be easy!! She started dragging me rightwards. "WAIT!!" The pug shouted and we both went back to the opening, "Don't go that way! Never go that way!" Sakura and I exchanged looks. I shrugged and went left, my pink haired sister following. (A.N. Bet you can't guess who the pug is!! XD)

vvv POV Change vvv

"Pakun threw them off the scent. They won't be coming straight here." Itachi said, staring intently into his crystal ball. With a flashy flick of his wrist the crystal disappeared. Sasuke was holding Akanbou at arms length away from him. He glared at Itachi and snapped "Great, so why don't you take him?" Itachi looked at him, "Why?" Sasuke narrowed his eyes at his older brother, "Because I have no clue how to handle kids. Grab him before I drop him!" Itachi rolled his eyes and took Akanbou from the prince. Cradling the babe expertly, Itachi shot a detached look at his brother, "You might as well get used to it. You might be a father one day." Itachi was secretly amused by the look of revulsion on Sasuke's face. Itachi glanced at the clock hanging just beside his head, nine more hours to go before Akanbou was a goblin and the girls were sent back to their world empty handed and headed. They should be going through the Ever Changing Maze now.

vvv POV Change vvv

"Hey! Someone's changing my markings!!" Sakura whined, staring at the lipstick arrow that had gone from pointing towards us to where we had just come from. I had thought that using her lipstick had been a good idea, but now it was useless. Sakura threw down the lipstick tube, "That's just not fair!" I had to agree with her on there. An oily voice said behind us, "No it issssn't." Both of us spun, not really surprised this time. Most of the people we met here always snuck up behind us. Two men stood in front of two doors in a small courtyard that had been a wall before. The one of the right had stringy black hair and yellow snake-like eyes while his companion had long shaggy grey hair. Two red tear lines ran from his eyes down to his jaw line. The grey haired man chuckled, "Haven't seen many pretty things like you here. All I get to stare at is him." He glared at the dark haired man leering at us.

Sakura blinked, "This was a wall a minute ago." The snake-like man hissed in laughter, "No that's the wall behind you, there." Both of us turned to see that the wall had moved, we were trapped with these freaky men. "That's not fair!" I snapped at the immovable wall then glared at the two men, "Did you do that?" The grey haired one waved a dismissive hand, "Naw, this place is ever changing." Sakura gripped her hair in frustration, "That's not freakin' fair! When I see that Goblin King I'm giving him a freakin' bit of my mind!!" The two men exchanged glances, "Well these doors lead somewhere. One goes to the castle and the other to... certain death!" The black haired man sneered dramatically. Sakura perked up, "Which one leads where?"

The grey haired man held up a finger, "There are rules. You can only ask one of us a question. Gotta warn you though: One of us always tells the truth and one of us always lies." I grinned to myself, this was my kind of game. I stepped forward so that I was in the face of the black haired man, "Answer 'yes' or 'no'. If I asked your friend if this door lead to the certain death, what would he say?" The man blinked then cast a look at the grey haired man, he looked just as confused. "..Yes." He said, a little hesitate. I nodded and stepped back and pointed to the door he was standing in front of, "So this one leads to certain death, and the other leads to the castle. Come on Sakura, lets go!" I grabbed my giggling sister and the grey haired man opened his door with flourish, the confused look still on his face. We ran through the door, laughing, before something else could happened. "That was really smart, Kanari. I think we're getting the hang of-" Before Sakura could finish the floor opened underneath us and we both dropped down into the dark.

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"They made it to the Oubliette." Itachi said. Sasuke, his arms once again full with Akanbou, snickered and their goblin subjects foolishly cheered. Itachi shot a general glare at the audience, who immediately fell silent. Itachi threw the scrying crystal in the air, making it vanish, and leaned back against his throne, "They should have never made it that far." He said to himself. Sasuke smirked, "Well, you failed. Again. Looks like these two will succeed and you still won't have a precious queen, not even another squalling brat." Itachi shot his brother a red eyed scowl and stood. "I'll just have to guarantee one stays here." He said, a plan already forming in his mind. Swiftly he shed his normal skin for the ebony feathers of a raven and flew off towards the gate to the Labyrinth. Sasuke shook his head and took his brother's vacated seat, Akanbou in his lap. He tilted his head at the curious child, "You know, I think I'm starting to like you..." He mused.

vvv

"Gaara." Itachi spoke and the red head gate keeper jumped before turning to glare at the Goblin King, "What do you want?" Gaara was one of the few people who dared take such a tone with the king. Itachi raised an eyebrow and said dismissively, "I need you to distract the girls back to the beginning. They've gotten too far." Gaara rolled his jade colored eyes, "Pity." He snapped. Itachi narrowed his now red eyes. Gaara actually gulped, everyone knew that red eyes meant King Itachi was about to kill someone in the most horrific ways possible. Gaara valued his life, even if he spent his days taking care of the boring Labyrinth gate. "Alright I'll do it." Gaara said as if the thought killed him. Itachi cracked a very small smile and disappeared as quickly as he had appeared in a flurry of feathers and shadows.

vvv POV Change vvv

I crossed my arms and glared to the right in what I thought was Sakura's direction, "Great, just great. You just had to go and jinx us didn't you?!" I snapped at her. There was a noise to my left, "It's not my fault, how do we know that this isn't the Certain Death and you just made a freakin' wrong guess?" I didn't answer, I knew she was right. We were stuck in pitch blackness, with the only hope for light was the small shaft coming through the trap door above us, too far for us to reach, even if one of us stood on the other's shoulders.

"Well aren't you two in a big mess?" A voice called out from the darkness. I stiffened and looked around blindly, "Who's there?" I asked just as Sakura said, "Show yourself!" There was the sound of a match being lit and a soft glow far in the back of the pit. The glow brightened to reveal the whole cavern. Gaara stood beside an old candle, his arms crossed, glaring at us, "Congrats, you've made it to the Oubliette." He snapped. Sakura frowned, "What's an Oubli-thingamajig?" Gaara rolled his eyes and straightened from the wall. Throwing out his arms to gesture to the whole cavern he said sarcastically, "The Oubliette, the Labyrinth if full of them. One way in, one way out." As one both Sakura and I looked up to the trapdoor so far above us. Sakura looked back at the infuriating red head, "What is an Oubliette for?" She asked.

Gaara raised an nonexistent eyebrow, "A place to put people... to forget about them!" Sakura shivered and plastered herself to me while I glared at him, "So why are you here?" Gaara put on a falsely concerned look, "I was very concerned about you two. So I thought I'd take you back to the beginning, so you can escape." "Oh no! I'm not quitting!" I shouted. Gaara shot me a hateful glare, "Look it gets worse from here on. Might as well turn back now." Sakura stood, "Forget about it. We're getting our brother back so you might as well-" I slapped a hand over her mouth, "Instead of taking us to the beginning, can you take us to the castle?" Gaara shot me a look, "You want me to cheat?!" He asked, his voice raising for once.

I pulled off my 14 karat gold bracelet and held it out to him, "I'll give you this. It's fourteen karats." Gaara's eyes zeroed on the valuable piece, just like I knew he would. Gaara seemed to consider before looked back at me, "How about you give me that, and I'll take you back to the beginning..." Sakura growled, "Do you think we're stupid?!" Gaara shrugged nonchalantly and looked casually to the wall, "Yes..." I glared, but I couldn't let my anger get the best of me otherwise he would leave us here in this hole. "Wait... if you won't take us to the castle, take us as far as you can, then we'll find out own way. Deal?" Sakura narrowed her eyes at me, "Kanari, you can't possible think of giving your bracelet to-" Gaara cut her off this time, snatching the bracelet from my fingers, "Deal. Let's go." Sakura and I exchanged looks as he walked to the wall, go... where?

Gaara picked up a plain looking board and held it against the wall, glancing at us he moved to cover what he was doing. I heard a click and he swung the board open like it was a door. Instead of a blank wall there was a red lit tunnel. Gaara started to walk in when a roar thundered through the hall. Sakura leapt behind me and Gaara slammed the door shut, he shot an almost sheepish look at us, "Wrong side." He explained then unlocked where the hinges had been. This time the tunnel was black. Gaara looked in the tunnel and, when nothing came to bite his head off, motioned us to follow. Sakura and I exchanged uneasy looked before walking into the tunnel, Sakura clinging to my arm. The tunnel was long and dark, I could barely see Gaara in front of us except for an impression that he was there. I felt squished and claustrophobic, having to bend almost half way over to avoid smashing my head against the ceiling of the tunnel.

Gaara lead us safely through the tunnel and into a large twisting cavern. Faces built into the stone stared at us, Sakura jumped back in surprise. Gaara didn't even hesitate in walked forward, my sister and I following more cautiously. As he passed the first face it's mouth moved and said in a deep voice, "Doooon't gooooo onnnnn!" Sakura yelped and jumped away. Gaara didn't flinch but continued on his way. More voices followed all of them deep, but every one of them different, "Go back while you still can!!" "This is not the waaaaayyy!" "Take heed and go no further!" "Beware... beware!" "Soon it will be too late..." Gaara finally waved his hand, "Don't pay any attention to them. They're just false alarms. You get a lot of them in the Labyrinth, especially if you're on the right track." Just then another rock face said, "Oh no you're not!" Gaara glared at the rock, "Shut up." He snapped and the rock responded in a down cast voice, "Sorry... just doing my job..." I was having a hard time trying not to laugh at that. Gaara walked past another rock face but held up a hand when its mouth started moving, "Don't start." I did giggle at the rock's pout.

A crystal ball moved past my feet and I suddenly knew what was at the end of the cavern. Gaara seemed to understand the ball's significance too, grumbling under his breath. All three of us followed the ball to a blind beggar leaning against a wall, holding a tin cup. "What have we here?" He asked in a gravelly voice, but I already knew who it was. I stepped in front of Sakura to keep her from him in case he tried anything. Gaara crossed his arms, moving to stand partly in front of me, "Nothing." He said. The beggar stood with 'surprising' ease and threw off his ragged cloak, revealing the Goblin King underneath him, "Nothing? Nothing, hn?" He snapped, glaring with red eyes at Gaara. I pulled my sister to me and she stared at him unabashedly. Gaara bowed mockingly, "Your Majesty, what a pleasant surprise! If I had known you would have stopped in I-" The Goblin King cut him off, "Could it be that you're helping these girls?" Gaara blinked, "Helping? No! I was taking them back to the beginning." The Goblin King glanced at Sakura and I as we simultaneously shouted at Gaara, "WHAT?!"

Gaara shot us a dirty look, "I told them that I was going to help them but I was really taking them back to the beginning like we planned." Sakura screeched, "You did WHAT? You lying little-" Once again I put my hand over her mouth so not to make matters worse. The Goblin King spared my sister a brief look of annoyance before advancing towards Gaara, "If I thought for one second you were betraying me, I'd be forced to use the Mangekyu Sharingan on you." Whatever that was, it made Gaara gulp and take a step away from his king. The Goblin King turned to Sakura and I, his eyes their normal black color. I shoved my sister away and stiffened, prepared for whatever he could throw at me. Sakura went for Gaara, her fingers curled into claws, but the red head held her off easily. The Goblin King leaned against the wall, his arms crossed, "Kanari... how are you liking my Labyrinth?" I forced myself to breath slowly and said defiantly, "Piece of cake." I heard Gaara groan and glanced at him to see if Sakura had hurt him. He was staring at me, giving me a look that said 'you idiot'.

The Goblin King raised an eyebrow and, with a slight-of-hand motion, brought a crystal right under my nose. I pulled back startled, falling against the wall. An image of a boy Sakura's age lounging in an intimidating looking throne was at the center of the crystal. I gasped, that boy was holding Akanbou. I lurched forward, attempting to foolishly grab the ball as if I could reach in and grab my brother, but the Goblin King pulled away and the crystal vanished. "If you think so, then how about uping the stakes, hn?" He turned and pointed to an extravagant clock that showed thirteen hours instead of twelve. The hour hand was on the five and the minute was on the twelve. Slowly the hands began to move forward until both reached the eight, "That's not fair!" I cried. The Goblin King turned to me, stopping the time, "You say that often... I wonder what your basis for comparison is." He mused.

The crystal ball appeared in his hand again, "So the Labyrinth is a piece of cake? Let's see how you deal with this slice." He twisted and threw the ball down the dark hallway. There was a flash and suddenly a large machine full of spinning spikes and knives started towards us. Gaara's jade eyes widened and he pulled Sakura, who had stopped trying to kill him to watch the drama between the Goblin King and I, into a run. I stumbled after them, "What is that?" I yelled at the red head. He glared at me over his shoulder, never faltering, "The cleaners! You just had to go and provoke him didn't you?!" Sakura tripped and fell to her knees with a sharp cry. Gaara twisted around to pull her to her feet and I pushed her from behind, "MOVE!" I yelled at her, I could almost feel the sharp blades from the cleaners against my ankles. Whatever the 'cleaners' were, I wasn't about to stick around. We reached a closed gate and all three of us rammed into it, hoping that it might burst open. Gaara shook the thing, but the chain holding the two doors together would budge. Sakura noticed a small dark opening that would have been missed if she hadn't looked closely, "Hurry this way!" She said, tugging on my arm. I grabbed Gaara and we both managed to slip into the crack just as the machine came by.

I fell to the ground on top of Gaara and watched at the terrifying machine continued on its way, not even faltering when it hit the gate. I could see that four goblins worked the machine, two riding it like they would a bicycle to make it for forward and the other two to work the spinning blades. Seeing their short stocky little bodies work the death trap somehow made the machine seem more humorous than scary. Gaara pushed me off when the cleaners were gone from our view, "Get off me!" He snapped and I glared at him, slowly crawling to my feet. Sakura called from deeper in the room, "Hey guys! Wonder where this thing goes?" We both looked to see a long ladder reaching into the murky shadows. Gaara shrugged, "One way to find out." He said and grabbed a hold of the first rung. Sakura and I didn't follow him. Gaara glanced over his shoulder and raised both nonexistent eyebrows questioningly. Sakura crossed her arms, "How can we trust you now that we know you're taking us back to the beginning?"

Gaara rolled his eyes and began climbing again, "I'm not. I lied to him to throw him off the scent." I placed my hands on my hips, "How can we trust anything you say, Gaara?" Gaara finally stopped and threw us an irritated look, "Let me put it this way. What choice have you got?" Sakura and I exchanged looks, he did have a point at that. I shrugged and Sakura nodded, silently agreeing to follow him until he proved himself guilty. Sakura started up first with me following her. Gaara actually kept talking, "You've got to understand my position. I hate my life, but I like to live. And Itachi isn't against killing me." Sakura frowned, "Why's that?" Gaara paused to look over his shoulder at the pink haired girl, "Because King Itachi isn't against killing anyone, except his brother and the Labyrinth runners." I jerked when I heard the Goblin King's name, I had been in this Labyrinth for God knows how long and I had just found out his name! My foot hit a rotten rung and it fell away, making me shriek and cling heavily to the ladder, I watched at the log fell miles down to clatter against the stone floor. I slowly brought my foot up to the next rung and continued my way, more cautiously.

"What did he threaten you with earlier? That Mang-thingy." Sakura asked. Gaara shot a look over his shoulder again, "Can't you remember any names?" He snapped then sighed before she could answer and said, "Mangekyu Sharingan. It's the worst possible punishment here, where King Itachi literally tortures you to death!" Sakura shivered and shut up, concentrating on climbing. I blinked though, "That's horrible, granted, but why does it get the fancy name?" Gaara sighed and said, "There are three ways to die from the Mangekyu Sharingan: death by black flames, facing your worst fears until your brain kills itself, or being sealed into a world of unending torture for the rest of eternity. Think it deserves that name now?" He snapped at me and I mutely nodded.

Gaara pushed something out of the way and bright light filtered down, blinding Sakura and me. "Here we are. You two are on your own from now on." Gaara said as he climbed out. Sakura reached the top and said, "Whaaaat?" I poked my head out of the squat jar and glanced around, we were in a little courtyard with statues. I scrambled out of the vase along with Sakura, "Gaara!" We both shouted as we ran catch up with him. Gaara continued walking, "I said I'd take you as far as I could go. This is as far as I'm going." Sakura jumped in front of him, "You cheat! You nasty, little cheat!" Gaara just looked at her, "Don't try to embarrass me. I have no pride." I glared at him, and just when I was starting to like the red head, he had to pull a stunt like that! I lunged for him and actually managed to tackle him to the ground, Sakura piled on when he tried to get up. With both of us on top of him, Gaara was pinned. "Let me up!" He snapped and we laughed, "Not until you agree to help us." "FINE, I promise!" He growled back and we both stood.

He glared at us while he dusted his shirtfront off, "You're lucky a promise is binding in the Fey Realm." He growled maliciously. Sakura and I both just giggled. I nodded towards the castle, "There's the castle, which way should we try?" Gaara glared at me, "You forced me to promise something I didn't want to do. It's not fair." I smirked at him, "No it isn't!" I paused, realizing what I just said, and murmured to myself, "But that's the way it is." Suddenly I realized that all the times I had said that is wasn't fair, it truly wasn't, but there was nothing I could do to change it. Complaining about it wouldn't help either.

A laugh made all three of us look to the right, Gaara rolled his eyes when he saw who was laughing while Sakura and I recoiled. Two men were grinning at us wearing green skintight leotards. Both of them had shiny black hair that was styled in a bowl cut and bushy eyebrows. "Blossoming young girls! Oh how youthful you two are!" The older one cried happily seeing my sister and I, tears springing to his eyes. Gaara groaned. The younger of the two, someone who looked to be Sakura's age, bounded forward so that he was inches from her face, "You're beauty is intoxicating, blossom! I swear with my everlasting breath that I shall love you and only you!!" The guy sank to one knee with his right hand extended towards Sakura and his left over his heart. My stepsister recoiled in disgust and hid behind Gaara, who glared at the boy with such hatred that it surprised me.

I stepped forward and asked the older man, "Can you tell us- that is my sister and me- which way to the castle?" I asked him. He gave me a cheesy grin, "The way forward is sometimes the way back!" I frowned, "I am NOT going back, don't you try to throw me off too!" The man got a teary look in his eyes and I grimaced, there was nothing more freaky than a grown man crying, "Youth! You have lost your precious youth!" He lamented. I stepped away, "Yeah... we'll be going now... Come on Sakura, Gaara!" I grabbed both of them by the wrist and pulled them away from the 'youthful' boy. He cried out, "Noooooooooooo don't leave my precious flowers!" We all broke into a run after that.

vvv POV Change vvv

Itachi growled, glaring into the crystal ball. Sasuke, leaning over his brother's shoulder, laughed, "Well, seems those two are getting smarter! That little prank won't work anymore I guess. You lost." Itachi glared at Sasuke, "Will you shut up?" He snapped, Sasuke just smirked and turned away to watch Akanbou play on the floor with the goblins. The little toddler clapped and held out his hands towards one of the cuter goblins. When the goblin didn't immediately rush into the boy's arms for a hug, Akanbou began to cry. Sasuke glared at the confused goblins, "Entertain him!" He ordered and all the goblins scrambled to make the child laugh and escape the Goblin Prince's anger.

Sasuke turned back to see his brother watching him, he crossed his arms defensively, "What?" It was Itachi's turn to smirk, "You've grown attached to him." Sasuke tried to deny it, but with ever protest Itachi just looked more and more convinced. Itachi stood, "It seems I'll have to distract them another way... Sasuke I will need your help with this one." Sasuke sighed, finally something to do besides scaring goblins and making kids smile!

vvv POV Change vvv

Sakura was starting to drag her feet, "I'm tired, can't we rest now?" Gaara rolled his eyes and I turned to my sister, "No, we don't have much time and we need to get Akanbou and leave." Sakura's spine stiffened as she seemed to get her second wind. She seemed to think of something, "What will you do, Gaara, when we leave?" The red head, who hadn't done anything to make me hate him lately, paused, "Go back to taking care of the gate, I guess." Sakura held her hands behind her back, "It's too bad we won't ever see you again. You're a good friend, once we got to know you." I had never seen anyone looked so surprised before. "You- you want to be my friend?" He asked in an unusually small voice. Sakura and I looked at each other. I turned to Gaara, "Yeah... why shouldn't we be? You've been a big help." Gaara had a ghostly smile on his face, one not full of mockery or sarcasm. I felt sorry for him.

We turned a corner and there was a roar so loud that we all jumped. Gaara leapt back, "Good-bye!" I twisted to grab the back of his shirt, "Where are you going? I thought we were friends!" He jerked out of my grip with surprising strength, "Not with what's ahead I'm not!!" He yelled and disappeared. Sakura gave a small whimper and pressed against me, I steeled myself and straightened, "I'm not afraid." I said firmly, hoping that I could convince myself, and followed the sound of the roaring.

Tied upside down by one foot was the strangest animal I had ever seen, surrounded by men in black cloaks with small red clouds on them. The animal resembled a fox, but it had long erect ears, like a rabbits, and was a deep orange. The thing that caught my attention the most was it's nine tails waving fiercely in the air. One of the cloaked men was holding boy with yellow spiky hair and brilliant blue eyes filled with tears, "Leave him alone!" The boy shouted. The fox creature roared again and swiped at one of the black-cloaked men who came too close. Sakura cowered behind me, too scared to move. I glanced around for something and found a rock laying on the ground. I picked it up and shoved Sakura behind me, in case my plan didn't work. I waited until the silver haired cloaked man passed behind the blonde one before I threw my rock at the blonde and hid so he wouldn't see me. "OUCH!! Hidan did you throw that, un?" I heard the blonde ask. Hidan, who I guessed was the silver haired man, asked, "Throw what?" There was a small explosion followed by Hidan screaming profane curses that made me blush.

I peeked around the corner of the bush to see the blonde chasing after the silver haired man, throwing something grey that caused explosions. The remaining three exchanged glances, shrugged, and went back to torturing the poor fox. I grabbed another rock and waited for my next opportunity. Soon I had all three of the men arguing with each other and fighting. The one accused of throwing the rock was chased off by the other two, leaving me feeling proud of myself.

When Sakura and I emerged from our hiding spot the fox creature snarled, his lips pulling back to show an impressive array of pointed teeth. The blonde boy jumped up with a grin that would have rivaled the two goofy green leotard guys from before, "Thanks for your help! I thought those guys would kill Kurama for a minute!" I shrugged, "It was nothing..." I glanced at the still upside down and growling fox creature, "Can you tell it to stop growling?" The boy smacked the fox on the shoulder, "Be nice. They just saved your sorry hide." He turned away and began fiddling with the rope holding the fox up. The fox shot a glare at the boy but fell silent. Sakura finally came forward, "I'm Sakura and this is my sister Kanari. We're running the Labyrinth." The boy whirled, "Really?! I've never met a runner! I thought King Itachi only let one runner through though... Anyway, I'm Naruto and this is Kurama, my pet/companion." He shoved his hand at me.

Smiling I shook his hand, finally the first friendly person we've met! Naruto turned back away and gave one hard tug on the rope. Kurama dropped to the ground in a tangle of tails, limbs, and rope. One angry red eye peered out of the mess, glaring at Naruto. The boy laughed nervously, "Sorry, buddy, I wasn't paying attention..." He said before turning back to us, "The Goblin King gave Kurama and I the job of scaring people, but he lets the Akatsuki come in every once in a while to keep us in line. I really don't get why because I keep Kurama in line and I'm not dangerous... at least I don't think I am... Am I?" He turned to us suddenly. I shook my head 'no'. Sakura perked up, an idea apparently coming to her, "Hey... do you know the way to the castle? Our last guide ran away." Naruto helped Kurama stand, "Sure! We can help, can't we Kurama?" The fox snapped his nine tails and gave a snort. Naruto laughed, "You'll have to forgive him, Kurama's ego has been badly hurt."

We all laughed at the fox's expense and followed him through the maze. I was glad, since the two seemed to know where they were going exactly. We came to two doors and Naruto hummed, "Well this is as far as we know. But I'm willing to stick with you if you don't mind. I love exploring new places!" I laughed and nodded. Naruto kept the conversation going as we walked through the forest that had been behind the door we took, making Sakura and I laugh with all the funny stories he had. This was a nicer change than grouchy Gaara. Still I wondered what happened to him... There was a thump and I spun around, worried that some new danger had jumped out. Nothing but leaves settling over a spot by a tree. I frowned and turned away, opening my mouth to ask if anyone else had heard that.

And the floor dropped out from beneath me.

vvv POV Change vvv

"GAARA!!" Sakura's voice filled the air, full of panic. Gaara halted. Sakura was the scared one, but he had never heard her sound so scared. Did Kanari disappear? He spun to go back after his friends and ran right into King Itachi. Gaara leapt back, his jade eyes narrowing at his king. Someone cleared his throat to the right of Gaara. The red head turned as saw none other than Prince Sasuke. He barely managed to keep his fear in check. King Itachi, Gaara could handle. One had to purposefully provoke him before he killed you. Prince Sasuke, however, he was known to kill someone for just looking at him wrong. Gaara was just glad that Itachi was the only one of the two who possessed the Mangekyu Sharingan, otherwise Gaara doubted any of the goblins would be left by now.

Itachi tilted his head to one side, his eyes red "You're not going to help those two are you?" Gaara refused to let his nervousness get in the way as he lied, "No. They got away from me and I just heard them now. So I'll just be off to go get them and take them back to the beginning like you told me to." Sasuke laughed, "You don't believe that do you, Itachi?" He asked. Itachi gave Sasuke an unreadable look before looking back at Gaara, "For a second I thought you were running to help them, but that would be stupid; after all the warnings I gave you..." Gaara smirked, "That would be stupid. Now I should be going, I've got to take those two girls back to the beginning and-"

"Wait!" Itachi said, stopping Gaara before he could go any further. The red head grimaced before turning to face the Goblin King and Prince, his face blank as usual. Itachi held up a crystal ball, "I've got a much better plan. Give this to the pink haired one." He tossed it to Gaara. The red headed gatekeeper caught it easily, staring at the peach that had once been the crystal ball. He frowned then glared at his king, "Fine." He growled and stomped off, trying to think of a way to avoid handing the peach to Sakura and not get killed in the process.

vvv POV Change vvv

"Gaara...?" Sakura whimpered, looking around frantically. When she had first heard the thump she had dismissed it as Kanari tripping over something and ignored it. But the second thumb made her spin in time to see her sister falling through the ground, the only glimpse of her being her white-blonde hair streaming down into the hole. Sakura had turned to warn Naruto and Kurama, but they too were gone and Sakura was alone in a freaky forest. She hated this Labyrinth, she hated feeling weak and defenseless, but she couldn't help it. Sakura wasn't as prepared as Kanari had been, she had read the book over and over again. She probably knew the story word-for-word.

"Sakura!" Gaara called up ahead. Sighing with relief the pink haired girl ran towards the sound of his voice. "Gaara!" She cried when she found her friend at the edge of the forest and threw herself into his arms, surprising the both of them. Gaara stumbled back and hit a crumbling stone pillar. The stones gave way and both went tumbling down a steep slope. Sakura collided with something soft and it yelped, leaping away. Gaara landed on top of her, but quickly backed away, glaring, "Don't do that!" He snapped. Sakura giggled sheepishly, "Sorry, but Kanari went down somewhere and so did Naruto and Kurama." Gaara blinked, "Wait, those two actually came with you?" Sakura blinked, "Yeah... you know them?"

"Enough with the chit-chats! You two landed on Akamaru!" A boy with red claw mark tattoos on his cheeks shouted at them. waving his hands towards a giant white wolf-dog that sat by his side dejectedly. Sakura rolled to her knees, "We're sorry, we both tumbled off that wall and accidentally collided with him." The boy frowned, but didn't say another word about it. Instead he propped an elbow on the dog's back, "So... I'm guessing that you two got a little carried away?" He said, wiggling his eyebrows at the two. Both turned the shade of their hair, "I'm not dating him! I'm a runner for heaven's sake!" Sakura shouted. Gaara just glared. The dog boy raised his eyebrows "Runner? Haven't seen one of those in a while. What's your name?" "Sakura... and this is Gaara, my friend and guide through the Labyrinth."

Naruto suddenly crested the hill behind the dog boy, Kurama by his side, "Kiba?" He called questioningly. The tattooed boy turned and waved, "Hey Naruto! Long time no see! Have you met the new runner?" Naruto nodded, "Yeah... I've been traveling with Sakura and her sister Kanari." He looked around, probably looking for the wispy haired blonde girl, "Where is she?" He asked Sakura. Sakura bit her lip and looked away, she was worried what happened to her sister. Gaara explained the situation in as few words possible. Naruto leapt forward when Gaara finished, "We'll find her! Kurama and Akamaru can smell anything!" Kiba nodded. All four jumped up on the backs of the two canines as they began hunting for Kanari's scent.

It was night and still no sign or whiff of Kanari. Gaara concluded that she must have fallen into another Oubliette, the only places in the whole Labyrinth that couldn't be tracked. Sakura sat with her new friends over a campfire later that night, trying to hold back tears. It wasn't fair that she had company and warmth when her sister was suffering in the dark. The only thing they had in common was there was no food to eat.

vvv POV Change vvv

"Not another freakin' Oubliette!" I snapped pounding on the wall, my hands throbbing. Frustrated I kicked the wall and immediately regretted it when my toes screamed in pain. This Oubliette was smaller, but the trapdoor was still just out of my reach. I could graze the metal bars that allowed the weak light in, but that was it. Growling to myself I sat down, clutching my knees to my chest, as I glared off into the dark.

A soft glow suddenly sprang up behind me. I gasped and twisted around, "Gaar- Oh it's you." Itachi chuckled quietly, contact juggling a glowing orb around in his hands as he leaned against the far wall, "Don't sound so disappointed, love." I narrowed my eyes at him, "I'm not your 'love'." I snapped. Itachi looked up, all the amusement gone from his face, "How are you liking my Labyrinth?" He asked, but I shook my head, pointing an accusing finger at him, "Oh no! I'm not falling for that again. And you might as well get used to the fact that I'm not going back to the beginning!" Itachi shot me an irritated look and straightened. I scrambled backwards as he advanced towards me menacingly, "You may not have a choice if you say that again." He growled. I shivered and turned away from his glowing red eyes. They didn't bother me in the daylight much, but alone in the Oubliette's darkness, they were haunting.

I turned back to him, "Why have you come here?" I asked quietly. Itachi leaned forward so that his face was inches from mine, I tried to lean back, but it was impossible without melting into the wall. If only I could. "Why do you think?" Itachi whispered, his eyes dark once again, but they shown with something I didn't dare name. I gulped.

vvv POV Change vvv

"I'm soooooo hungry!" Naruto complained as they all walked through yet another forest. Kiba, riding Akamaru in the front, rolled his eyes, "Yes, Naruto, we heard you the first thirty times!" He said over his shoulder. Kurama growled his agreement, glaring at his friend. Naruto clutched at his growling stomach, "I know, but still... I hope the Goblin King will feed us." No one had the heart to tell him that he would probably suffer the Mangekyu Sharingan for betraying Itachi. Maybe Itachi would torture him by feeding him to death.

Sakura leaned against a tree, hunger and fatigue pulling at her bones. She knew she couldn't fall asleep though, that was one of the rules in the Fey Realms. Kanari had told her the three most important rules of what never to do: never sleep, no matter how tired you were. No matter how thirsty you were, never drink anything. Sakura couldn't remember the third one, but she knew it was something along the lines of sleeping or drinking. She just couldn't remember what! Sakura sighed, "Maybe we could find some berries or something along the way." She offered tiredly. No one but Gaara heard her.

Gaara grimaced, now was his chance. He hated himself for it, but he valued his life more than he did anyone else, even though it pained him to think of it that way. "Sakura?" He said and the pink haired girl paused turning to her friend letting the others go on, "Yes, Gaara?" Slowly, hesitantly, Gaara held out the peach, "Here..." He said dejectedly. Sakura gasped excitedly and grabbed the peach before Gaara could second guess himself. He winced when she took a bite. Sakura slowed her chewing as she something come over her. She stared at the peach, "This taste's strange..." She looked up to see guilt written all over Gaara's face, "Gaara what did you do?" The red head back away, "Damn you Itachi... and damn me too." He grumbled before turning and walking back the way they came. Sakura fell against a tree, the peach still in her hand, as she began to dream...

vvv Sakura's POV vvv

People spun and twirled, their glittering, shining outfits dazzling me. I blinked and slowly walked forward, hearing the gentle shushing sound of my shimmering white dress as it swept along the marble floor. Everyone wore a mask, all grotesque monstrosity that reminded me of something, they contrasted against the beautiful outfits that surrounded me. The sweeping dresses that sparkled like a thousand stars and the sharp suits that outlined the mens' masculinity perfectly. Soft gentle music whispered in my ears like the sweetest lullaby, caressing over my skin. I stared, wide eyed, all around me, trying to find something that looked familiar, but nothing did.

Something dark flickered in the corner of my eye and I spun around, looking for what caught my attention. A man dressed in black was watching me, holding a horned mask against his face. Slowly he removed it and I was shocked by his fey beauty. Dark almond shaped eyes stared at me from across the sea of dancers. His midnight blue, almost black, hair was spiked in the back and bangs framed his flawless pale face on either side. Something about him just made me feel drawn to him and I began working my way towards him unconsciously. Before I could reach him, however, one of the dancers moved into my view and he vanished.

I twirled, looking desperately for the strange man. The dancers squeezed in on all sides, teasing me, pulling at my hair, pressing into me. I wanted to scream, but I didn't know how. They laughed at my hopeless efforts. I paused in front of a couple, their faces hidden behind a fan as I scanned the crowd, but among all the brilliant colors, I could not find the man I was looking for. It shouldn't have been too hard, he was the only one wearing all black, it had looked good on him, even with his pale skin. Everyone stared at me, no one seemed to be looking anywhere else. I began to panic. Spinning I caught a glimpse of a man surrounded by sneering women, but he wasn't the man I was looking for. I started to turn away, but something made me turn back once more. There he was, that man. Standing in the place where the other one had been seconds before. This time he didn't disappear, he came towards me and took me in his arms. I involuntary sighed, I felt like I belonged there, and leaned against him. Suddenly everyone seemed to have something else to stare at.

Panic struck at my heart as I realized something wasn't right, I was missing something. Someone. There was someone who was supposed to be with me. No I was looking for someone. Maybe both? Was someone with me and both of us were looking for someone? I blinked and glanced into the crowd, hoping that I might find who I was looking for, but I recognized no one. People began to press into me and the man I was dancing with. Their twisted masks leering at me. I closed my eyes tightly, I couldn't do this! A gong sounded somewhere distantly and I looked frantically for the source of the noise. There at the very back of the circular room was an elaborate thirteen hour clock, showing exactly 12:00. That was important I remembered. Something important happened when the hour stuck the thirteen. I glanced back at the man holding me. I had never seen him before, but he suddenly reminded me of someone who I didn't trust, who I hated! The person I hated did something to someone I held dear, but what? I had to get out of here! Struggling I escaped the now leering man's arms and pushed my way through the crowd, coming to a mirror wall. I glanced back at the dancers then at the wall. I needed to get out of here. I grabbed a white chair and threw it against the wall.

Everything fell apart.

vvv Kanari POV vvv

I looked up at Itachi, opening my mouth to ask what he meant, when he captured my chin in one hand and covered my mouth with his. I tired to resist, tried to push him away from me, but he was relentless, his lips never leaving mine, his tongue caressing the roof of my mouth over and over and over again. I couldn't help but melt at the heat of his kiss, my arms around his neck was the only thing keeping me from falling, my fingers digging into his dark hair. His mouth molded mine, his hot breath brushing against my face. His arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer to him as his lips eased over mine. After a few minutes I finally pulled back, trying to catch my breath. I blinked several times, trying to catch up with my racing thoughts.

Finally I gulped and looked into Itachi's onyx eyes, "What was that for?" I asked then blushed when my voice broke. Itachi didn't answer, he just kissed me again. I moaned a little this time, making his arms tighten around my waist. He moved from my mouth to my neck. I tilted my head away, exposing my neck for him as I scrambled to think, shivering when I felt his teeth graze the skin over my pulse. Finally I caught hold of my thoughts and shoved him away, "You- you...!" I still couldn't think straight.

Itachi didn't seem pleased to be interrupted, "You shouldn't have done that." He warned in a low voice, but the malice in his tone made me shiver. I glared at him, "I hate you! You have my brother and who knows where my sister is!! I shouldn't be here in this Oubliette kissing you!" Itachi smirked, "You're right, you shouldn't. That doesn't mean you don't want to." I stuttered and tried to deny it, but the Goblin King just smiled. Frustrated I actually poked him in the chest, "In the Fey Realms, nothing is given for free. I demand a wish from you for that kiss!" Itachi raised an eyebrow, "You catch on quick." He mused to himself. Secretly I was glad he thought so. I poked him in the chest again, "I wish that you would take me to my sister and not move her from where she is." Itachi smirked at my very specific wish, he held out a crystal ball, "Very well, throw this when you are ready to leave. But first..." He darted forward again and crashed his lips to mine once more before disappearing. I screamed and threw the ball, taking my anger out on it.

vvv

I ended up in a junk yard full of broken things, right in the middle of our group. Everyone blinked at me and I blinked back. Sakura leapt forward, "KANARI! I'm glad you're okay! We've been worried sick and, oh well, where were you?" There was no way I was about to admit to kissing the Goblin King in a dark Oubliette, "I... uh... got pulled down to somewhere I didn't recognize. It was like a bog or something. I accidentally touched... something, I couldn't see what, and suddenly I'm here." The new boy and Naruto exchanged looks, they didn't seem entirely convinced, but Sakura fell for it, "Oh poor you!" I looked at my younger sister, "What about you? Did anything happen to you?" She blushed and shook her head. I guess she had an embarrassing experience too and didn't want to talk about it. Was it bad that I hoped she hadn't been with King Itachi?

After they had explained how Kiba had come into the group, I glanced around, realizing one of our party was missing, "Where's Gaara?" Sakura shrugged, "He disappeared. Guess he didn't want to face the Goblin King." There was something she wasn't telling me, and from the looks on Naruto and Kiba's face she hadn't told them either. I shrugged, "Oh well, the castle is just up ahead... let's go! We don't have much time left." I grabbed Sakura's wrist and dragged her along with Naruto, Kiba and their companions following. We came to a small courtyard between two gates. The gate to the goblin city started to close when we reached it. I yanked Sakura back in enough time to have her avoid being crushed between the two doors.

A large creature came forward, snarling, it's large tail crushing anything it hit. We all back away, Kurama and Akamaru growled. With a roar the tan raccoon like dog charged and we all dove out of the way. Kurama and Akamaru tried to attack, sinking their sharp teeth into the creature's skin, but the raccoon-dog easily dislodged them. The boys barely managed to get out of the way before it crushed them. I was angry, to come all this way only to be stopped by some fat animal that was too clumsy to be a real threat! Suddenly Sakura pointed up on the wall and shouted, "Gaara!" We all turned to see the red head running across the thin wall with retaliative ease. He jumped down and landed on the raccoon-dog. It reared with a scream, its fat legs waving wildly in the air. Gaara grabbed it's small ears and twisted so that he was hanging down the creature's face. They both glared at each other for a moment before Gaara landed a well placed punch in the raccoon-dog's forehead. The creature went down groaning and I stared, such little things could take that creature out?

Gaara fell off it's head when the creature collapsed to the ground and rolled. Sakura ran to him and helped him sit up, "Gaara, are you okay?" The red head shot Sakura a sheepish look, "I'm not asking you to forgive me. I'm not ashamed of anything I did. Itachi made me give you that peach and I don't care what you think of me. I told you that I looked out for only me." It seemed I had missed out on some major things during my time in the Oubliette. Sakura smiled and hugged him, "I forgive you, Gaara." The red head looked surprised. I stared at him, "King Itachi gave you what?!" I shrieked. All four of them grimaced and glanced back at me. Sakura explained, "The Goblin King tried to slow us down and forced Gaara to give me a peach that made me forget almost everything, but I eventually remembered." She beamed at me, but I was still staring at Gaara, "She ate the peach?" Sakura frowned, "What's that got to-" I waved it away, there was no way I was telling her, maybe the three Fey Rules didn't apply in the Labyrinth. I could only hope.

vvv (Because I think the fight is silly, I'm not doing it! So there!!)

It was smooth sailing from the gate to the castle, hardly a goblin in sight. I kept glaring at the back of Gaara's head and wondering how we could get out of this mess that he had managed to put us in. No one else seemed to understand my dilemma, maybe those rules were just fairy tales and not true. Kiba marched straight up to the castle's gate and pounded, "The runners have made it safely through the Labyrinth, let us in to see the King!" He shouted. Slowly the doors creaked open, ugly little faces of goblins peering around its edge. One in painted red armor came forward, pike in hand, "I will escort you to the King of the Goblins." He stated in a surprisingly deep voice. We all exchanged glances before stepping forward to follow the red knight, but he held up a hand, "Only the runners." Gaara, Naruto, and Kiba shrugged before backing away. There wasn't much they could do anyway.

For once there were no tricks, the red armored goblin lead us straight to the Goblin King in his throne room. I recognized the room from when Itachi had show my my brother before he brought out the cleaners. I could hardly believe it, Sakura and I had made it. I glanced around then glared at Itachi, "Where is my brother?" Itachi smirked at me and snapped his fingers. The boy I had seen in the crystal ball came forward, Akanbou sleeping in his arms. Sakura gasped and ducked behind me. I shot a surprised look at her then at the boy, wondering what the connection was. He chuckled and bowed mockingly to us, sweeping out his velvet black cape, "I am Prince Sasuke, King Itachi's younger brother." I involuntarily glanced at Itachi, who smirked back at me. I jerked my gaze away.

Itachi stood, bringing all attention to him, mine included however reluctant, "Congratulations, Kanari and Sakura. You made it to the castle beyond the goblin city before the thirteenth hour. Your brother is free to go." Sasuke handed my brother over. I could tell he had grown attached to Akanbou since he didn't want to let go. Both Sakura and I cooed over our baby brother, feeling everything to make sure the goblins hadn't altered him one bit. I hugged him tightly, feeling his baby fine hair brush against my cheek, and blinked back tears. Itachi glanced at Sasuke and the prince lunged forward, dragging Sakura to him. She shrieked and Akanbou joined her. I glared at the prince, "Let her go! We won, you can't do anything to us anymore."

Itachi stood from his throne and descended the dais to stand in front of me, "You don't understand. She has to stay here. She broke one of the rules." I glared I knew what he was talking about, but Sakura didn't. "What rules?" She asked hesitantly, pausing in her struggle in Sasuke's arms. Itachi turned to her and held up three fingers, "Three rules of the Fey Realms. Never sleep, eat, or drink anything or you're stuck here for all eternity. You ate a peach." Sakura resumed her struggling with vigor, "Let me go! I didn't know! I-" Sasuke slapped a hand over her mouth, "I'm starting to think we should have given the peach to Kanari..." He growled. I glared at him, "Let her go!" Itachi turned back to me at the sound of my voice, "There is one way she can be let go... if someone, you or Akanbou, takes her place."

Sakura shrieked, "Don't do it, Kanari! Don't you dare! I'll come back and haunt you for the rest of your freakin' everlasting life! I'll never forgive you if you do!" I began breathing hard, feeling panic creep up my back. I felt like something was sitting on my chest. My eyes darted from Itachi to Sasuke to Sakura to Akanbou and back. A thread of an idea came to me and I grabbed at it. It was hopeless and stupid, but it was the best I could think of. I looked back at Sakura and mouthed Quote me. She gave me a confused look. I repeated slowly Quote. Me.

Understanding filled her eyes and she nodded, I turned back to Itachi. "Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered I have fought my way to the castle beyond Goblin City to take back the child you have stolen..." Both the prince and king back away, anger in their red eyes as they realized what we were doing, and powerless to stop it. We continued speaking moving towards each other to stand beside the other. I handed Akanbou to Sakura, "For my will is as strong as yours... and my kingdom is as great." I looked at Sakura and made a split second decision, "You have no power over-" Sakura said "-me." but I changed at the last minute and yelled, "-Sakura!"

My pink haired stepsister turned to me at the last minute, her sea green eyes filled with betrayal and hurt, before shadows surrounded her in a whirlwind and she returned to the human world, leaving me to take her place. I closed my eyes so I wouldn't have to see that I was indeed alone, I couldn't burst out into tears, not in front of the Goblin King. Taking a deep breath I turned to the mildly stunned Itachi, "I... May I go lay down?" I asked, my defiance that had been with me all throughout the Labyrinth suddenly gone. Itachi nodded and motioned one of the goblins forward, "Taro will take you to your chambers."

#Script's Archives #Do You Have Power Over Me #naruto fanfiction #fanfiction #ItaOC #SasuSaku

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tessisawriter · 5 years ago

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What Real Support Looks Like, Part 5 (Mat Barzal)

A/N: Thank you to everyone who encouraged me to continue this series—your support means the world to me! In honor of Tito (FINALLY) signing his contract, he is featured in Parts 6 and 7. 🧡💙

I also updated the playlist.

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8

Warnings: Two swear words, angst

Word Count: 2.5k

The minute Gemma reached the door, Annie bombarded her with questions. “Why did you talk to him? What did you even talk to him about?”

“I just thanked him for bringing you here,” Gemma said, deliberately leaving out the four-day deadline she set for herself and hoping Annie would drop this line of questioning.

Annie looked skeptical, but it was like she read Gemma’s mind because she said, “Okay, whatever you say,” and let it go.

Gemma turned to Lauren and Sydney and realized that she hadn’t properly introduced Annie to them. Mat made her forget everything, including her manners.

“I’m sorry, please forgive me for being so rude. Annie, this is Lauren Eberle,” she gestured to the dark blonde on the left, “and Sydney Esiason,” she pointed to the light blonde on the right. “Lauren and Sydney, this is Annie Ryan, my best friend who I met at TCD.”

“We’ve met before,” Lauren said while reaching out her hand to shake Annie’s, “over FaceTime, anyway.”

“Oh yeah, I remember you!” Annie said, “It’s so nice to meet you, I mean in person.”

Lauren giggled. “It’s nice to meet you too, officially.”

“It’s nice to finally put a face to the name I’ve heard so much about, Annie,” Sydney said while greeting her.

“All good things, I hope,” Annie joked, looking at Gemma.

“Definitely,” Sydney laughed. “You can leave your bags here in the foyer for the time being; let’s go introduce you to the other women.”

“Good idea,” Gemma agreed. She was so excited for Annie to meet everyone, especially Paige.

Sydney and Lauren led Annie and Gemma to the backyard, where all of the women were waiting expectantly.

“Everyone, this is Annie Ryan, my best friend from Ireland. We meet at TCD while I was studying abroad. Annie, this is Grace, Kristy, Megan, and Paige.”

“It’s so nice to meet you all,” Annie said. “I feel like I know you already, Gem talks about you so much.”

“We could say the same about you,” Paige replied, “We finally get to meet the famous Annie!”

Annie smiled and averted her eyes, which Gemma knew was a telltale sign that she was embarrassed by all of the attention she was receiving.

“Come, there’s a seat here for you!” Paige said, pointing to the empty chair next to her. Annie smiled at her, grateful, and was about to sit down when Jack started to cry. Gemma was startled; she had forgotten the baby was even there.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry I didn’t see the baby before!” Annie said, “I was in the airport and on a plane for a long time.” She turned to face Sydney and asked: “Could I by any chance use your shower? I generally wouldn’t ask, but I don’t want to get the baby sick, and I feel gross anyway.”

“Of course,” Sydney said, “and the baby’s name is Jack.”

“Hi, Jack,” Annie waved at Casey and Kristy’s son, and Jack waved back at her. She then turned to Gemma and said, “I’ll be back in 15 minutes.”

“No problem,” Gemma said, and Sydney led Annie into the house to show her where the shower was. Jack began to cry again while Gemma settled back in her original seat.

“Ugh, I was hoping Jack was going to hang on today,” Kristy lamented, “But it’s 4 o’clock, the witching hour. What do you say, Jackie,” she leaned her head down towards her son’s, “Should I text Daddy and have him take you home for an afternoon nap?”

Jack kept crying. “I’m going to take that as a yes,” Kristy answered for him, picked up her phone, and took Jack over to one of the cabanas, presumably to tell Casey to come over and pick up their son.

While Kristy was texting, Paige said, “I hate to bring this up, but we’ve all been wondering: what’s the deal with the four-day thing?”

Gemma sighed; she knew she was going to have to explain this sooner or later. “After going back to Mat’s apartment this morning, I realized that, as much as I don’t want to, I still have feelings for him. But I can’t just ignore what he said and did last night, though. It’s just…” Gemma paused to collect her thoughts, “My feelings are all over the place right now, and I can’t make a sound decision on our relationship right now, so I texted Mat that I need a few days to think things over. I told him not to contact me, and I’ll tell him what I’ve decided to do on Monday, hence the four days.”

“So you didn’t break up with him?” Paige asked. “Are you on a break or something?”

“God no,” she responded immediately, “I mean, we’re not on a break, uh…” Gemma paused. Did this mean she was still technically Mat’s girlfriend? She didn’t know how to feel about that. Gemma didn’t voice any of these thoughts, only continuing, “I did break up with him, but I didn’t shut the door completely to reconciliation.”

“Are you thinking about getting back together with him?” Kristy, who had just returned with a still-fussy Jack, asked. All of the other women looked at Gemma expectantly, but she didn’t know how to answer the question. A few hours ago, she would’ve said absolutely not, but now…

“I don’t know,” Gemma went with the truth.

“We were talking while you were outside,” Grace spoke, “And we all want you to know that even if you decide to break up with Mat on Monday, you won’t lose us. It doesn’t matter who you are or are not dating: you’re our friend, and we’ll always be there for you.” The other women murmured in agreement.

Gemma felt tears of gratitude building up behind her eyes, but she pushed them back and smiled. “You all are the best.”

Paige got up out of her seat, walked over to Gemma, and hugged her. “Love you, Gem,” she said.

“Love you, too,” Gemma murmured in response.

Jack started to cry again. “Jackie, Daddy will be here real soon, please calm down,” Kristy begged her son.

“What’s wrong with Jack?” Gemma turned around at the sound of Annie’s Irish accent. She stood right behind Gemma, her hair still wet but donning fresh clothes. Sydney was standing next to her.

“He just needs an afternoon nap. I called Casey to come get him,” Kristy replied while Jack started wailing and wriggling around in her arms.

“I don’t generally do this with people I just met, but I think I can calm him down, if you’ll allow me,” Annie said.

“I don’t generally do this with people I just met, either, but go ahead,” Kristy smiled, beckoning her to come over. Annie walked over, took Jack into her arms, and walked back to her chair next to Paige, settling down.

“Hello, little one, my name is Annie, and I’m going to sing to you if that’s all right?” Annie murmured. At the sound of her voice, Jack looked up at her.

“On the wings of the wind o’er the dark rolling sea…” As soon as Gemma heard the opening line, she knew Annie was singing the Connemara Cradle Song, a popular Irish children’s ballad, especially in the west. When she had gone to study abroad, Gemma hadn’t expected to feel such a strong connection to another country, but Ireland had become a second home to her. Hearing the song made Gemma realize how much she missed it there.

As she listened to Annie’s beautiful voice, Gemma noticed that Jack’s cries, which had lessened when she began to sing, ceased entirely. Kristy’s eyes widened. When Jack was cranky, it was generally only a nap that would soothe him, but Annie had made the impossible possible. Megan raised her eyebrows, and Lauren smiled.

“Lean your head over and hear the wind blow.” Annie finished singing, and Gemma leaned over to find Jack sound asleep in her arms.

Kristy was smiling like a maniac, but the smile vanished when she heard what could only be her husband, Casey come out of the house and into the backyard. Gemma loved Casey; he was one of the nicest guys she knew, and he was so outgoing. His tendency to talk a lot, though, was not helpful at the moment. Kristy waved her arms to convey that he needed to be quiet, and the chattering stopped. Gemma turned around and saw Casey and Marty, Sydney’s fiancé, tiptoeing towards them.

Kristy quietly stood up and walked over to them, and after some hushed whispering, Casey and Kristy walked back to Annie and their son. Casey’s blue eyes were full of amazement.

“I’ll take him,” Kristy whispered to Annie, and she handed Jack back to his mother. Kristy walked over to the cabana again.

“So you’re Annie, then,” Casey said, favoring her and Gemma with one of his electric smiles. “I’m Casey.”

“I know,” Annie said quickly, then cleared her throat and clarified, “I mean, I know everyone on the team by heart now. It’s hard enough to keep up with Gem as it is, but if I don’t know who she’s referring to…”

Casey laughed. “She’s a real New Yorker,” he said, patting Gemma on the shoulder. “Thank you for calming Jack down; I honestly don’t know how you did it.”

“No thanks necessary: I love kids,” Annie said, modest as always. “I just sang him a song that my mam used to sing to me when I was little.”

“What’s it called?” Casey asked. “I think Kristy and I will have to sing it to him every night from now on.”

Annie laughed. “The Connemara Cradle Song,” she said.

“Kristy, we have to learn that one,” Casey said to his wife, who chuckled and agreed in response.

“I have to take Jack home before he wakes up again. Nice to meet you, Annie, and hang in there Gem, I’m really sorry about everything,” he said.

“Thanks, Zeeker, but you have nothing to apologize for,” Gemma replied.

“Uh…” Casey seemed unsure of whether he should proceed, but he ended up talking anyway: “I was with them at the bar that night. He was so wasted and I knew it was your birthday: I should’ve made him go home. I’m really, really sorry.”

“Zeeker,” Gemma said, “It’s still not your fault. This is all on Mat.”

Casey sighed. “Whatever you decide to do, I support you. Hell, the whole team supports you, Gem: no one’s going to blame you if you don’t take him back, and no one will judge you if you do. Make the decision that feels right for you.”

“Thanks, Zeeker,” Gemma replied, getting out of her seat to hug him.

“Of course,” he said. After a moment, he realized he had to leave, so after hugging both Gemma and Annie once more, he took Jack, who was now in his stroller, to his car.

“What time is it?” Gemma asked Lauren.

“It’s…oh my God, it’s 5PM. We should get ready to go.”

“Good idea,” Gemma said. “Are you showering here or at your house?”

“The house. I’m too lazy to deal with my hair right now,” Lauren said.

Gemma laughed. “That is such a mood, and I’m totally here for it. Annie,” she turned to her friend, “Lauren and her husband, Jordan, are letting us both stay at their house until you move into your apartment and I decide what the fuck I’m going to do.”

“Are you sure? I’m sure it’s easy enough to check into a hotel around here,” Annie said to Lauren.

“I’m positive: in fact, I insist,” Lauren replied, “Gem is like a sister to me, you’re a great girl, and honestly, I think it would be good for both of you to stay together.”

“I can’t thank you enough for your generosity,” Annie said.

“No thanks necessary,” Lauren replied, parroting Annie’s earlier words back to her.

Annie smiled in response.

“Okay, I’m going to get your bags and load them in the car. Marty, would you mind helping me put Annie’s bags in Gemma’s car?”

“Not at all,” Marty replied, walking over to Gemma. “Like Zeeker said, hang in there, Gem. We’re all rooting for you.”

“Thanks, Marty,” Gemma said, hugging him before he, Sydney, and Lauren went into the house to collect Annie’s bags.

Gemma turned to the remaining women. “Girls, I don’t know what to say. Thank you for coming: it means the world to me.”

“We’ll always be there for you, Gem,” Paige said. “Group hug?”

Gemma laughed. “All right, group hug!”

All of the women surrounded Gemma and squished her in a group hug. Gemma was truly grateful to each and every one of them: their love and support was keeping her going right now.

“Let’s go out to the car,” Gemma said to Annie, and they walked through the screen door and into the Esiason-Martin residence.

“Fuck, this place is like four times the size of my family’s home in Cork,” Annie said.

“There are lots of big houses out here on the Island,” Gemma replied, “So get used to it.”

Gemma and Annie walked through the house and out the front door to see Lauren and Sydney loading the last of Annie’s bags into the trunk of Gemma’s car.

Gemma walked over to Sydney and hugged her without warning.

“Thank you for putting this together, Syd,” Gemma said. “You’re truly the best friend I could ask for.”

“Aw, thanks Gem,” Sydney replied, “I just hated seeing you down. Did you have fun today?”

“Yes, I did,” Gemma said.

“All right, the bags are packed, let’s go,” Lauren said. “Do you want me to drive?”

“Yes, please,” Gemma replied before turning to Annie. “Do you mind sitting in the back?”

“Sure, no problem,” Annie said, and she opened the back door to Gemma’s car and slid inside before shutting the door.

“I don’t care if it’s the middle of the night: if you need anything, call me,” Sydney said.

“I will,” Gemma said, hugging Sydney one more time before getting into the passenger seat of her car.

As Lauren pulled out of the driveway and started driving back to her house, Gemma realized that despite everything, she couldn’t get Mat out of her mind. Just this morning, she was fully prepared to dump him and never look back, but now, she had no idea what she was going to do on Monday. Gemma had been raised to look at the silver lining, though, and she knew Annie, Lauren, Sydney, and all of her other friends would support her no matter what she decided. For that, she was truly thankful.

@averytiredlawstudent @star-adorned @theforevermorereject

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