#a monstruous thing

[intopearls]

this eff eff victory lap following the casting news

[lokiinmediasideblog]

Watched a vampire movie I mostly enjoyed on Tubi. It is Midnight Son (2011). It framed vampirism as a chronic illness in a very effective way (the MC is constantly weak and in pain, he has trouble finding nutritious foods and has to pay quite a lot of money for it, he can only work at night, he can't go out, he has burns from his condition, and there were parallels to addiction (girlfriend is an addict). It was well-acted, and it has the isolated liminal vibes I yearn for in vampire media.

The one thing I didn't like was that the MC is too much of a stickler to rules and "morals" for my liking. Dude was giving shit to the "shady" doctor that handed him blood that was about to expire because "it's illegal." Also, some of it, and with the way it ends, it just gives off an "It's okay when white people do it" vibe but in a way that is not meant to criticize or deconstruct.

I say this because the there's an physician character that goes from doctor that gives the MC blood about to expire for money to outright thug by the end of the movie because vampirism fell into the wrong hands. I also think the MC could have avoided so much shit if he had not bitched so much about legality and "morals."

People died and more vampires were made because he clutched his pearls over it. And in the end, he is okay with killing humans because his girlfriend is now a vampire and is hungry too. Illegality be damned!

[moshpitgamma]

•According to the poll our winner was........ THE FLOYD X READER NSFW HEADCANNONS!!!!! So, I really hope yall enjoy this and also if you requested this Floyd x Reader NSFW Headcannon, your request/message in my inbox has finally been filled. GAMMA OUT!!!😝•

••••••••Floyd X Reader||NSFW Headcannons••••

————————————

🎀-Floyd may look innocent and all, but he is just the biggest flirt and undercover fuckboy ever.

🎀-He likes to do sly shit when no one's looking. Will literally do the eating pussy motion with his fingers or the sucking dick motion when everyone turns around and will just laugh when you get shy, and everyone is confused to why you're blushing.

🎀-His ears are super sensitive and will literally go full whimper mode if you do anything to his ears and also his tail.

🎀-Will pull your tail and hair in bed (If you have short or no hair then just your tail.)

🎀-He is a switch, but prefers to sub

🎀-Floyd is not quiet AT ALL. Full blown whimpering and whining while making monstruous moans if he's subbing. If he's topping, then there's growls and moans.

🎀This man likes to keep it clean but isn't afraid to make things a mess. Including YOU...

🎀-His kinks are bondage, edging, mommy/daddy kink, overstimulation, and Cock warming.

🎀-If he's needy he will just rut against you till you touch him and make him feel better.

🎀-Likes to fuck you in front of a mirror just to show you the tears streaming down his face because of how good your body is for him.

🎀-This man is a whole thigh and ass man. Loves to just have his head between your legs giving you head while biting and licking your thighs. (Has bitten your ass during 69 before;>)

🎀-When I said he doesn't mind getting messy, I meant it because he will have you covered in cum like an oily body massage.

🎀-He will have condoms on standby, but if you push him and show him your motherly side, then heads up but you're having kids now buddy.👀🤷🏿‍♀️

🎀-He's sometimes sneaky and probably has done a sneaky fuck in a dressing room before a Brozone concert and has done it in the same room after the concert too.

🎀-You guys have probably got caught by at least 3 times by the other brothers and sometimes you wonder if he does it on purpose.

🎀-(He has a secret kink from where he likes to be watched by others when he's fucking you or he's getting fucked.

🎀-Loves being recorded and will act like you're in a porno together.

🎀-He's a soft dom and doesn't like to degrade, but there are times where he has slipped up and said them at least two times.

🎀-WILL ABSOLUTLY NOT HIT YOU OR PUT YOU IN EXCRUCIATING PAIN.

🎀-Floyd loves to call you sweet nicknames when he's fucking you and loves to just praise you for being a good girl/boy/lover.

🎀-His aftercare skills are to DIE for. Will pick you up and wash you up without you doing anything and will prepare you a good nutritious snack and will watch a show or cuddle you till you go to sleep.

YOUNNNNNN😝🎀He’s so Babygirl🤷🏿‍♀️

[gassyandnasty]

The Jock Formula - Part 2.0

JOINING THE FRAT: THE HAZING CEREMONY

Josh and his friends invited me to their frat. I've never been to one, people say that some are pretty chill and others are dangerous, but regardless of that, I don't belong in the chemistry lab anymore.

So I packed my things and went to the adress they gave me. It was night already, the place was pretty loomy, and the house was all dark. I wonder if they forgot about inviting me. But I knocked anyways.

Knock

"Come in" a group of guys say ominously, as if they were expecting me behind the door. It was open, so I came in.

The hall was lit only by candles, as I saw a lot of shadowy and BIG figures all over the place, but three stood in front of me.

"Welcome to your hazing ceremony, Drew." Josh starts.

"The tasks will decide if you stay with us or not." Sal completes

"If you are a true jock, or an eternal nerd." finishes Jongho.

They were looking at me dead in the eye while all of this scene sent chills up my spine. All broke down when Sal started to laugh, and the other boys followed.

"Dude, you almost pissed yourself!" Sal mocks, and patting my back.

"This never gets old!" Jongho says in a laughing fit, high-fiving some other guys in the back.

"So... this dark hazing ceremony is a joke, right?" I try to break the ice.

"As much this scene was a joke, the hazing is real, pledge." Josh says, like a boss.

_________________________________________

They said the first task would be easy, as I was led to the kitchen, being met with a table STACKED with hot dogs.

"Sit, buddy" Jongho says on the other side of the table. He was a pretty big and buff guy, I mean, all of them were, but he was specially bulky, and I was about to find out why...

"To stay here, you have to beat the CHAMP!" Jongho said as he punched his pecs like a gorilla, as all of the guys howlered and chanted his name.

"This task is simple as I like things to be, who eats the most hot dogs, win." Jongho said, as Josh rang a bell and he started to DEVOUR the hot dogs. This dude was like a monster, I swear I saw him eating two with just one bite. I was a scrawny guy, like... yesterday? I was satisfied with a BigMac, how on earth could I beat him?

I knew that competitive eaters used a technique to swallow the most they could storage, so they wouldn't get sick. Something like flexing abdominal muscles, or your jaw... but then I rememberd...

Fuck this nerd bullshit.

And went FERAL on the hot dogs.

I can only describe flashes of this deed. Sausages everywhere, desperately looking for a cup of water, Jongho was chewing so loud it looked like a dog, and when I noticed, my belly was full, and the table was empty.

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPP!!

The end of the match was announced by Jongho filling the room like a dragon with a MONSTRUOUS belch. I looked around, and all of the guys were shocked, even Josh.

"Easy, haha" Jongho said, taking his shirt off. His muscles gave space to the food, so when the pat his belly, it jiggled.

I was a little drowzy. I only remembered eating the most I could, then I felt a hand on my back.

"Are you alright, dude?" Josh asked.

"How... many?" I asked, with my belly full.

"Did you think we were counting? That was wild! One of the best eating matches this frat ever saw, right guys?" Josh announced, and everyone howlered with him, chanting my name and Jongho's.

Jongho got up and approached me. "This dude was the only worthy opponent I met. I declare Drew VICTORIOUS!" Jongho lifted my arm in celebration, and all of that force dislodged the gas that was dying to explode out of me.

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPP!!

That felt so good. And what was even better? Hearing all of the frat chating my name.

But there were still two tasks...

_________________________________________

I went to another room that was dark and already stinky.

"Yo, we are up next. Congrats haha never saw anyone eating like Jongho." Says Sal. He was sat having some snacks on a table. He was one of the guys I heard most of. Many girls and boys swoon over him. When I got up close, I grimaced: onions, anchovies, milk, beans, and the list went on with the most unpleasant food you could think of.

"Sit." He says, while eating an entire can of anchovies. "This is the nasty gas challenge. We have to eat the most disgusting food and see the one who brews the worst gas out of it."

I was skeptical of this. My nerd brain thought that was impossible, but that stink was already making me pass out, and I heard that their gas was really disgusting, imagine with all of this, it would be- UUUuuuUURRPPP

A wave of a DISGUSTING belch hits me. "Haha, wake up! Didnt you hear what I said? You have to eat this." Sal says, blowing the stench on me.

*COUGH* COUGH* "Okay... I was just thinking..." I was about to say when he slapped me.

"Think less." Said Sal sternly. And I couldn't agree more. I was only able to eat all of those hot-dogs when I stopped to racionalize the situation.

I did it. Mixed beans with anchovies, ate it all down with a glass of milk. It felt bad, but it felt wild too.

"Good haha you learn fast, fella. Now we have to put it to test." He says, patting my back.

"Test?" I ask.

"You didn't think I was going to judge, right?" Sal claps his hands in a signal, while I hear a bunch of guys coming upstairs.

"LET GO OF ME! YOU JERKS!" I hear some whining too.

The guys break down in the room bringing a whimp in their arms. They put him in a chair and tie him down.

"So, this little fella right here was caught spying on us. Trying to take pictures, a total perv!" Sal says, while took some polaroid out of this guy's pockets and showed a bunch of pictures of their windows, focusing of their butts, muscles.

"IT'S NOT FOR ME... I... I WAS GOING TO SELL..." he was about to say when Sal interrupted.

"So... this perv is going to be the judge pf tonight's nasty gas challenge!" Sal exclaims as this guy watch in horror.

"So, would you do the honors, Drew?" Sal challenged me.

And yeah, that disgusting meal and all of the hot dogs were doing a number on my stomach... poor little perv.

I bent over so we were face to face, I only patted my belly and let it rip.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRPP

This one felt specially good, as it rumbled deep within the depths of my stomach. What was even better? Watching this perv cry and gag by the smell. Lucky it wasn't on my face.

*COUGH* *COUGH*

All of the guys laughed, mocking the perv as he had to endure my gas.

"Good one." Said Sal. "Now watch the boss." Sal took my place in front of him and started to swallow air. He swallowed very deep, and forced out a NASTY ROAR on this guy's face:

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOO9OOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

I swear I could even see this guy's hair blowing, as he GAGGED on this cloud of gas. Sal finished by blowing the nasty bits on his face and grabbing the guys head.

"Take a big whiff of that you little perv." He said with a smirk while the guy gagged in his hands.

"Wow, you are totally owning him!" I say in admiration. It's nice to see that whimp be put in place.

"That's how you gotta do, Drew. No mercy, c'mon!" Sal says, patting my back.

I had to do something bold. My guys were starting to stir up, so I had an idea. I picked some of the pictures the guy was carrying and held one that was showcasing a guy's pecs and pits. I took my shirt off and I could catch the guy thirstily looking at my muscles. He was really a perv.

"So, taking pictures only? Why don't you get a taste of those up close?" I mock, grabbing the guy's head and burrying on my pits. The smell was unbearable, almost as bad as my gas, cause I saw the guy trying to get free.

"LET ME GO!" He screams into my pits while I rub all of my sweat on his face. I wouldn't let this guy go this easily.

"Let go? Oh, I will let something go!" I taunt him as I pick him off my pits, and when he thinks he will take a breath of fresh air...

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPP!!

Damn right, that was so nasty. He took it all right on his face, all the stink, even the bits of food leaving my mouth because of the force of the gas. This guy was in true hell.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA" All of the guys boomed in laughter, I think they liked my display of dominance. With a glimpse, I catched Sal winking to Josh in approval.

*COUGH* *COUGH* *COUGH*

"YOU GUYS... *COUGH* ARE GONNA PAY FOR IT!" The whimp tries to say while he gags on my stink.

I see Sal doing the same as me and picked the first picture he could find. "Oh, look at this!" He showcased the picture to everyone. "It's my ass!" They all laughed. "Nice pic, perv, since you wanted to see it so bad, I'll let you have a nice cheekful of my buns." Sal said, teasing. He indeed had a very nice ass, toned, round and bubbly, almost eating his shorts.

Sal turned around and bent over the perv's face.

"NO! NO! NO! I know what you are going to do, please! I won't do this anymore!" The perv begs, while Sal's huge cheeks are only an inch of his face.

"Do you know what I'm going to do? But I was only showing you the ass you wanted to see so bad..." Sal smirks. "Take a look on it... I know you want to..." Sal jiggles his ass a little, and the perv is almost hypnotized by it. "Bury your face in it..." Sal says, and he does it.

All of the guys grimace as the perv goes face-first on Sal's ass, and with a smirk, he says:

"I guess you really knew what I was going to do, perv." Sal says, grabbing the back of his head and really making he go deep in it.

"NO-" The perv was about to say, but it was a really bad idea to open his mouth...

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!

The deepest, loudest and nastiest fart I've ever heard. Sal was red for forcing it, scrunching his face to get all of the stink out. And it was a LOT, of stink. Some guys opened the window and others even ran. When Sal was finished, he

"Aaaah, enjoy that, perv" he sighs in relief as he gets up. The little guy's situation wasn't good. His face was sweaty and squashed as he passed out, and his eyebrows were gone by the brunt of the gas, Sal completely destroyed this guy. Sal looked behind and laughed: "Oops."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" that ensured laughter from all the room. Josh, Sal and Jongho approached me where the air was fresh.

"Very good." Sal says.

"Good? That was AWESOME!" I answer in enthusiasm. "But... I didn't win."

"Don't worry, you captured the spirit and put that creep on his place. That will make you as good as we are. For me, you are in, but Josh gets the next task. Haha, try not to die." Sal says proud of me, leaving chills up my spine.

________________________________________

They said I should be careful, but I don't think there is any challenge I couldn't beat at this point. But there was he, Josh was waiting me outside the house in his car. I don't know much about those but it looks expensive. He really got it all, all the girls, the looks, the frat, the team, this car, a total bastard. How I wanted to be like him.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"To your final task." He answered.

It was late at night in a stranger car, he was certainly up to no good, but I kept quiety all the way. He was taking a familiar path, if I'm not mistaken... to the local library.

"Library? You know I don't fear math like you guys do, right?" I ask.

"That's what we'll see, ex-nerd. Stop making questions and follow me." He answered sharply.

I followed, and we came in. It was totally empty, only a few lights on, I don't even know how he had access to that.

"Now hear me out. There's your nerdy friend, if you can bully him, you're one of us. If not, I will take care of you both." Josh threatens.

I pondered. George was really my friend, and I'm finally like this because of him. But all I wanted was this power, force, can't go soft now, I have to-

WHACK

"Ouch, what was that for?" I ask Josh as he smacks my head.

"Stop thinking, will you go or not?"

I just make my head tall again, and approach that poor nerd.

"Want some studying tips?" I smack my hand on his table and have a seat.

He gasps. "Andrew... so you're one of them now. After betraying me. Never thought you were this jerk. What are you hear for? Flaunt your muscles?"

"Actually..." I take my shirt off and start bouncing my pecs, display my huge biceps, and my ripped abs. "And I got more..." I turn around and showcase my back and blades. I can hear Josh laughing from afar, as George is pissed in front of me.

"That formula was only for making you muscular, not idiot! Stop that!" George snaps. "What now? Wet willies? Wedgies? Stinkfaces? Youre a dissap-"

"Since you are asking for it..." I say as I drench my finger in saliva and rub it deep in his ear.

"DISGUSTING!" He grimaces as he has to suffer from my wet willy. I had enough of George's drama. Gosh, now I understand why they bully these nerds. They are so annoying!

"STOP!" He complained.

"Hmm, wet willy... check. So next, you were saying wedgies, right? Now here we go!" I say as I yank his underwear up with full force.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!" He SCREAMS in pain as his underwear is snatching his parts down there.

"I WILL GET MY REVENGE ANDREW! I WILL FIND A WAY TO TRANSFORM YOU BACK!" He threats. He can try haha.

I drop him on the ground and he catches his breath, red from all the pain.

"By the way, it's Drew now, nerd." I turn around and bend over. Those hot dogs and that food are still making a number on my stomach, and since he asked for a stinkface...

"Incoming..." I grab the back of his head and bury into my butt. I can feel my cheeks molding over his face, and his screams are muffled by my now fat ass. This is the life. I grunt and push, and then... boom.

PBPBPBPBPPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

I force out a CRUEL fart right on his face. It rumbled and echoed through the halls for a long time, and I held his head so he could get the most stink out of it.

"Aaaaah, get a taste of your formula, George, thanks." I mock as I leave him gagging there.

"Am I in?" I approach Josh as he was proudly watching everything.

"Welcome to the frat, Drew!"

[novthewolf]

Hello how are you? You’re Edward Cullen fic was amazing!!!!! Could you please write another one?

Edward Cullen confessing his secret to you :

*-*-*

- Edward had never been so scared in all his life.

- Watching your bright beckoning him to join you in among the mountain flowers would normally make him melt.

- It was almost enough to push him down on his knees and thanks the universe for allowing him to be share the same air as you.

- So he dared challenge the Heavens up above and took his defiled being to the angel roaming on earth.

- As the sun gently grazed Edward's skin, your eyes shimmered in the reflect of the brightness of the man's diamond-like epidermis. But despite how beautiful he might look, nothing would ever compare to your beauty.

- He heard your soft gasp, the same one you let out when he offered your favorite childhood book or when his speed saved you from slipping on thick ice.

- Mostly shock, but he felt so unsure if it was the simular happiness or the same fear.

- Brows furrowered in worry and care, he took a small step forward.

- You barely tensed up, but of course, he felt that and froze on the spot.

- "Y/N... I'm not going to hurt you.." Edward assured softly, but the skin revealing his vampire self caused his fangs to slightly show.

- Your eyes darted to his fangs, lips slightly parting before looking back up at his eyes.

- His heart missed another beat, as always, as your eyes met his. Damn it did he love your eyes...

- But this way... it was like someone was holding a sword just above his neck. Yet the thought of losing you was even more painful.

- Yet, he couldn't bear to read your thouhghts, filled with dread at the idea of hearing you growing terrified of him.

- Instead you slowly reached in your bag, causing his eyes to squint slightly in confusion.

- What are you doing..? Are this scared of him that you would try something against him ?

- It hurt him visceraly, more than anything you might ever do to him.

- He took a step back, his shoulders slacking in defeat, not trying to reach out anymore.

- But then, you took out a book, 'quileute legends', and stopped him in his tracks.

- "I mh... I kinda knew..." You waved the book with sheepish chuckle, struggling to keep eye contact.

- He stared at you, for once at complete loss of words. You knew ? But how...

- Then Edward remembered the first trait that drew him to you. Your curiosity. Of course he considered being dangerous for his secret but the way you just react... It gave him hope.

- "The cold ones are mh.. vampire right...? I noticed your cold skin, your speed and changing eyes. So... I tried to solve this by reading, you know me.." You chuckled with a sheepish smile.

- The way the words left your mouth heated up his beatless heart. You were just too sweet.

- Edward looked at you like he laid eyes for the first time. And this time, without the feeling of being an monstruous creature.

- "Yes.. I am.." He whispered, voice gentle and walked toward you, into the small clearing.

- "Is that why you stayed away from me at first ?" You took a few steps toward him too.

- "I was afraid that what I felt for you was simply bloodlust but.. then I got to know you and..." Edward smiled almost shyly, and his eyes darted away. "I discovered what an amazing person you are."

- That's sweet blush on your cheeks was enough motivation for him to keep complementing you forever.

- "Then.. why did you never tell me..? You trust me right ?"

- More than anything. He wanted to lay this information so softly onto your heart.

- "I just didn't want to lose you." He whispered, looking down at you with almost pleading eyes.

- Losing you would be the greatest tragedy of his life and the last thing he would be able to bear.

- Whether because of the Volturies, nomads or your own fear.. each end would be devastating.

- Then, ever so softly, he felt your warm fingers wrapped around his larger palm.

- His eyes turned goldens and he swore he never felt this relieved by someone else's presence.

- "You won't lose me... as long as you don’t drink my blood." I chuckled, tiny bit nervous but playful.

- Edward scoffed out a chuckle and squeezed your hand gently.

- "No... I'm afraid I won't, darling..." Edward grinned and leaned in to whisper in your ear. "But something far more dangerous."

- He drink in the way you shivered, but so thankful when your expression didn't show any fear, but rather bashfulness.

- "Don't say it like that..!" You chuckled, slapping his stone like chest and hummed in surprise. "Are you a statue or something ?"

- He laughed with you and grinned. "No, just hellacious." He winked, feeling himself relaxing just by being playful with you.

- "Nice word, bit presumptuous, don't you think ?" You tease with a grin.

- "I'll show, dear." He chuckled before softening looking down at your joined hands and whispered, vulnerability shining through.

- "If you want to.."

- And the smile you gave him was enough reassurance as it was.

- "I'd love to." You nodded softly.

- That's when Edward swore on his immortal life he'd keep you safe and happy, to make sure your smile is engraved in his soul.

*-*-*-*

Check out my Tipee page and get exclusive content ! ;)

*-*-*-*

[splatashahowlett]

Nighttime frenzy

logan howlett x reader

part.2

you trusted charles with your life, everybody knew it. but sometimes he had the tendency of making the dumbest decisions known to mankind, at least from the outside. one of those senseless decisions was sending you and logan, the person that annoyed you the most in the whole world, on a mission on the other side of the country.

that's how you ended up in a trashy camping car in the middle of texas. what a great spring break! as if the smell of the vehicle or the broken ac wasn't enough, logan had decided to be even more irritating than usual. the begining of the trip could be summarized by unrelenting bickering; like logan tying you to your seat with the seatbelt after you threatened him to jump out of the window while he was driving.

you were conscious that you both acted like children, but you couldn't help it. you both seemed to awaken something in each other but couldn't quite put your finger on it. so you manifestly chose to hate each other. you accepted this mission for charles' sake and absolutely not cause something within you wanted to spend more time with logan.

"stop. it." logan fussed at you, who wouldn't stop pressing every single buttons before you: resulting in turning on the headlights, changing the radio channel, folding and unfolding the rear-view mirrors or activating the blinker. you knew you were getting insufferable but you had to occupy yourself during the trip right ?

"damn, you're so lame. you're the worst person to do a road trip with" you rolled your eyes, wishing it was ororo next to you. logan didn't answer, probably also wishing it was someone else next to him. so you kept going: "you're telling me charles has all those fancy cars and we're stuck with this piece of crap ? how is that even possible ?" logan, again stayed silent, but you knew he agreed on this one.

you both fell silent. the only thing you could hear was the occasional car driving by and honking at logan -considering the truck was going way too slow for everyone's liking- which would inspire logan's need to swear. each time he muttered a "fuck off" or honk in return you would let out a soft laugh, followed by a death stare from logan.

the heat was excruciating and you desperatly needed a shower. so you begged logan to make a stop for the night.

"logan, I know you want it too" you coaxed, giving him a pleading gaze. logan abrubtly stopped the truck almost sending you flying through the windshield if it wasn't for his arm suddenly coming infront of your stomach.

"fine" logan said firmly. you bit your lip, amused but also embarassed by being corrected like a child. "I'll go for a walk while you're showering" he continued, stepped out the truck and slammed the door with enough strength to shake the entirety of the vehicle, including you.

half an hour after your shower logan was still gone and you started to feel dumb for acting frivolous. was he really mad at you? did he get lost? it wasn't your problem anyway, if you could finish the mission alone it would be better for everyone.

so you climbed into the only bed, thinking logan was not going to sleep anwway. you didn't care nevertheless if he wanted to, you would get the bed.

you woke up in the middle of the night, crickets basically singing to death. it was still extremely hot which explained your choice of clothes: a light tank top with a small short. what couldn't be explained was the presence of a monstruous bear in your bed. well, logan had enough of walking you guessed. it's only when your eyes adjusted to the darkness that you noticed logan was bare chest, and even if you hated it, this made your heart flutter.

right as when you were falling asleep, logan started shifting franticly in his sleep. you tilted your head, confused as to what was happening until you heard him mutter somehing along the lines of "let me go". ororo had told you about logan's recuring nightmares and you figured this must be one of those. you didn't really know what to do, being woken up by someone you don't appreciate much must be even worse than having a nightmare and you also didn't want to end up with his claws in your guts. so you found nothing better than to fill an old bucket you found in a cupboard with water and to drown him with it.

logan woke up instantly, claws coming out his knuckles. this definitely wasn't the best idea but at least no one got hurt. logan looked at you, not an ounce of anger in his eyes but more of worry. he got up and seated himself on the stairs leading to the outside off the camping car.

ten minutes later you joined logan by leaning against the doorframe. you didn't love the guy to death, but you knew those kind of nightmares were merciless and left you reliving things you wanted to forget over and over again. you didn't have to get a degree in psychology to guess logan wasn't doing great right now, his arms were crossed over his knees and his eyes fixated on the ground.

"come on, I changed the sheets" you spoke softly, scared to disturb his thoughts more than they already were. logan didn't move at first so you assumed he needed more time. you were about to join the bed when you heard a gentle protest.

"I'm sorry" logan said. you stopped in your tracks, surprised at how logan was acting. this was the first time he showed a sign of weakness. this made your heart melt and you immediatly answered. "there's no need to be sorry logan, you didn't do anything wrong". logan looked up at you and you sweared you saw a glimpse of gratitude and maybe even more. he stood up and followed you in the bed. you were facing him, not wanting him to think you didn't mean what you just said if you turned your back to him. logan looked down, not wanting to show he felt miserable. you took his hand in yours and brushed your thumbs against the back of his hand in an attempt to bring him comfort. you guessed it worked cause when you looked back at him, he was looking straight into your eyes. usually you would find this interaction awkward and immediatly get out the bed, but if logan didn't take his hand back that must mean that he needs you to stay and show him that he is not alone. so you stayed.

"I'm sorry for throwing water at you" you muttered, almost inaudible. the corner of logan's lips twitched upwards and you couldn't help but smile. you scooted closer to him and hid your face in his chest. one of your hand left his and found its way on his back, hugging him. you could hear logan let out a sigh of relief before planting his chin on your head, keeping you close to him.

"thank you".

you would go back to hating each other tomorrow, right now you just wanted to hold each other as long as the moon was glowing.

[flowersandmiel]

The thing that i love about the Narrator is that he was incapable of changing with us, bonding with us, because of his echo-ness

And I think that's why so many of us love Her so much more than him (on top of her being The Woman Ever). It's because she remembers with us, she changes, she evolves, she learns how to be a person with us. We share something, an experience, even in the chapters where she is the most monstruous, she's like that because we made her that, we maybe even became a monster too, from her point of view

The Narrator is stuck in denial (which is kinda funny bc that's why he created this whole place in the first place, he couldn't accept the end of his world(not blaming him btw)). And he struggles to bond with us, he doesn't trust us (though it's for good reasons, if he did explain everything it would just lead us to the Apotheosis)

I love/hate the Narrator so much, he's such a tragic character. He really tried his best, but after knowing the whole story, it's painfully obvious how much he doesn't like us, how much he fears us, that he considers us and The Princess like something other, that we are, but it still hurts a bit, idk

[williceunleashed]

JACKALOPE N HARMONIA

New autism mission : Make my favorite characters into folklore and mythical creatures

I don't know what creatures I can do for Zinzolin, Rood, Colress or Alder yet, if you have any ideas please share it ! :)

Creatures details and explanations below the cut !

Melony

Melony is a gargoyle ! I chose this creature because it's a french construction detail on churches, and Mel is kalossian. As architecture details, they are meant to get rid of the water on the roof, and it is a representation of them "vomiting sins out of the church".

Gargoyles usually has monstruous appearances, and historians think that their role is to protect the church they were built on. I think it fits Mel pretty well as a Plasma grunt and as Ghetsis #1 fan. Despite the church being rotten and falling apart (that's Ghetsis), Mel will always stick by it and try to defend it because it has become his life goal.

It is believed later gargoyles were meant to make fun of the sinful parts of society. The connection with how Ghetsis tries to maintain all of his little pawns pure and pristine is just too good, man

Also like... Religious cult Plasma... Corrupted church... symbolism too good, man

Ghetsis

Ghetsis is a greek sphinx ! I thought he needed a very impressive and well-known worldwide creature. He is manipulative and cruel, and in most stories, the sphinx strangles and devoures people when they can't answer her riddles.

The sphinx, when bested, usually ends herself in most versions. In the same way, what destroys Ghetsis is his very own ambition and pride, meaning himself. Design-wise, his hair are shaped in a mane-like style (it is not a mane, the sphinx doesn't have one), because he tries to emulate a real lion.

He has feathered wings, but they are literaly just biological cosmetic, and he can't fly with them. Having him have classic "angelic" features but being unable to use them was satisfying for my over-analytic autism. He tries so much to be this figure of purity and perfection, mightier even than the King himself, and he fails so bad in the end.

N

N is a jackalope, an american creature, as N is unovan ! The myth goes in a lot of directions, but I chose the "imitiation of human voice" direction. A lot of things around N are based around imitation (He is the imitation of a King but was never the true mastermind, his Pokémon line is meant to mimic other Pokémons, he himself struggles around other humans, he attempts to emulate Ghetsis' imposing aura when he plays his role as the King...).

Plus Jackalopes are said to be pretty dangerous, despite their appearance. I love that N conceals the danger he represents under a simple appearance (my man doesn't look like a King) like a jackalope, while Ghetsis goes all out on the prophet swag, and is represented by a sphinx (a winged lion beast).

N also was at the time the only "rival" to acquiere a literal legendary as his main Pokémon and add it to his team, making him probably one of the most dangerous person in Unova team-wise.

Dardanne

Dardanne is a matagot ! Also called "money cat" in french, it's a creature from french folklore (Dar being kalossian). Usually these creatures are associated with witchcraft and looks like fully black cats. It is said that, if you take great care of your matagot, it will bring you solid gold coins every morning. However, if neglected, it will take a violent and cruel revenge on its master. I think it fits Dardanne when he is in Plasma. His small stature and wide eyes give off the impression that he is inoffensive, but he was selected as N's journey partner because he was one of the top grunts during training. Dardanne being a grunt, Ghetsis would be his hypothetical master, and funnily enough, it's Dar and N's combined actions during the journey that start Ghetsis' downfall.

Conclusion : Ghetsis enrolls young teenager Dar -> Ghetsis abuses Dar -> Dar turns his son gay in matagot revenge -> Ghetsis takes several Ls

Another fun thing is that, to adopt a matagot, you have to prey for it for several nights, then lure it with food, and then carry it home without looking back during the journey home. Ghetsis quite literally found a runaway Dardanne while prolling for new recruits, knew he was a vulnerable child with no home and no food, and lured him to join Plasma in exchange of a place to stay and daily meals. Bro literally cursed himself with this one

[fanterfane]

Deathclaw Degeneration! (Commission)

Uncensored: https://bsky.app/profile/fanterfane.bsky.social/post/3ljbukapsob2t Commission for my friend, @Spider'sVice! SV drinks a quantum mutagen that turns her into a big ol' raging death machine!~ Deathclaws can be hot too! At least I think so. There's just something else about being transformed into a monstruous creature lacking any and all humanity besides instincts to fuck and eat. Such a simple life... I think this is one of my first times drawing a clitoris. It's... surprisingly easy. Dunno what was keeping me up about it. Also, can't believe I can say that I had to play Fallout 4 on work hours as a part of my job! It's a nice feeling I guess.

If you like the art I make and you want to support me to help create more of it, please consider joining my Patreon at www.patreon.com/FanterFane or my Subscribestar at https://subscribestar.adult/fanterfane for all of these benefits and more!  - Access to the Patreon-only section of my discord server!   - Complete art previews weeks or months before it's publicly posted!  - Early sketches of most of the things I'm working on! (Discord Server Exclusive)  - Vote in Semi-monthly Patreon-only polls!  - Make requests on Semi-Monthly Patreon Request Streams!  - Commission discounts based on your tier!  - And my eternal gratitude! Alternatively, if Patreon isn't your style, you can also support me via a tip on ko-fi.com/fanterfane, or paypal.me/orwellian or by subscribing on fanterfane.fanbox.cc!

[beevean]

Me, a guy from Middle-East watching this Netflix shit compare me and millions of others to demons: What have we done to Adi Shankar to deserve this?

I've also seen victims of US invasions...it was really a horrible thing to use such a huge thing still fresh in the memory of the people as some kind of joke for his shitshow of an anime. The victims of war are still alive, what happened to them is fresher than the age of DMC franchise itself.

And of course the Christianity mockery is cherry on top. Assyrians are a large indigenous population in Middle-East with majority living in Iraq. And they are Christians. They have always faced discrimination but the US invasion was particularly cruel to them. Many of these native Assyrians were displaced, internally and externally.

Im just left speechless by how insensitive and abominable Adi Shankar is

It's just so. Tone-deaf in its attempt to be progressive.

"No no you see, Americans demonized Arabs for years, but they're not really as monstruous as they depicted them! Just like the demons in the show, who are not all evil but unjustly persecuted! I am so smart!"

You buffoon, you are still equating a real minority with a fictional non-human race. Someone who is genetically different to the core (in the show, Lady uses special bullets that react to demon DNA in particular, so yes, they really are not the same species despite diverging from the same source).

And not just that! Because it's in episode 4 that we first introduce this theme of "not all demons are bad". Before that? All the demons we see are evil monsters who delight in killing humans for shit and giggles! They seem to be the majority, in fact! So do we really want to take that comparison to its logical conclusion?

In real life, Muslim people became the unjust target of propaganda due to isolated terrorist attacks like 9/11: billions of people were made into "threats" for the actions of few. In the setting of the show, demons are generally aggressive for no reason. We even see Arkham at one point turning himself into a demon and eating his own wife, just like that. Do you fucking understand what you are saying, you hack.

And! And what does that make Dante, eh? He made a whole career of killing demons, and having fun at it too. Are we really painting Dante as a slaughterer of minorities? Oh my god this is literally like that stupid vampire kid skull shot in Netflixvania that implies the Belmonts are ruthless child murderers, someone please save me. Then again, apparently Sparda is Trump in this universe, sure why not.

Oh shut up, you literally reveal two minutes later that you are affiliated with the White Rabbit, who was the one who allowed you to escape the war-torn Middle East Hell Makai!

I also find rich that these demons are the "good" ones. The humanoid ones. The one who look just like the "sapiens", contrasting the evil demons who look like plants and shit. Again. Do you understand what you are implying? Maybe don't use fucking demons as a political metaphor for real people?

(wait, I just realized. What does this mean for that shapeshifting demon that turns into a baby, Vergil and that other soldier guy? That minorities... disguise themselves as the oppressive majority... to hurt them...? Guys, I think the metaphor is eating itself.)

And yeah, the Christian bashing is getting old. I get it. CHURCH BAD, because AMERICA BAD. I don't know how to convey how much I am sick of these blunt messages without sounding like an American right-winger lmao, but you make a good point: Christians are not just American Karens, and the topic is more complicated than "American politicians use Christianity as a weapon, therefore Christianity bad" (I can't help but notice how convenient it is that demons attack the Vatican in the first episode, but not holy places of other religions). I wonder if fans of this show will also use the excuse fans of NFCV use and say "no no no you see God is good, it's the humans who twist His message! The show is totally nuanced guys!". I'm expecting something as stupid as NFCV's water-blessing zombie :P

I'm really sorry this show has upset you. I can only imagine how insulting it feels to see a real war you witnessed turned into a scene of America bombing Hell and scaring Arab-coded demons while American Idiot plays in the background. You deserve much better and I hope things look up in general 🫂

[absolute-ferret]

So if the solver is still around... What would solver Uzi look like?

Not quite As monstruous as the Ddemons, but still not that pleasant <:3c

Lil' sabertooth spider bat mix thing <33 freak <333

It's fine tho she's going thru weird girl puberty (Sorry i think Im so funny)

I have further uhh lore ideas for the Solver, which btw to answer fully, is still somewhat around, the au story still vaguely resembles the canon timelines lol :3 !! as soon as me and @sodascreen find time to talk more abt the au we shall reveal mmore :3

i am SO glad i managed to like sneak in a doodle as i worked on a school project, still pc banished unless school related siigh

[hello-nichya-here]

Do you still like talking about ASOIAF? see you like SanSan and wanted to know your opinion about something I was reading. I was reading some discussions around Sandor's character and there seems to be a division of opinion about whether he is in fact a total bastard, but he met Sansa (who was the first to give him empathy and kindness) and so he does kind acts but only to her (or when she is near) OR he always had a "good side" somewhere inside him (still a bastard, but I think you get the ideia of what I mean?), but was too comfortable with his view of the world and become totally apathetic to the things around him (until he met Sansa and she kind of challenged his worldview). I thought I'd ask your opinion on this, if you don't mind, because I think you usually have interesting thoughts on things.

George R.R. Martin likes complex, messy characters that are very firmly in the grey area. The full on pure monsters in the story (like Ramsay and his dad) are not as large as the group of grey, or even good, characters, and they usually don't get as much attention. There's a reason we'll see the POV of Jaime, Cersei and Tyrion, but not Tywin - they have more humanity and vulnerability in them, so Martin has something more interesting to work with and develop. He even went as far as saying that even the iconic "A Targaryen is either great or mad" thing is a LIE, because ALL OF THEM did things that could make them look great or mad in people's eyes.

With Sandor in particular, lets get the most ridiculous "take" on the character out of the way: He is not kind ONLY to Sansa or ONLY when she's around. For fuck's sake, he goes out of his way to remind her of every awful thing he does/thinks in hopes she'll stop giving a damn about him and he can thus stop questioning his entire existence, and is repeatedly exasperated that nothing seems to do the trick.

And while he is kinder to her than to anyone else, he REPEATEDLY proves that he wants to stop being just a killer. We see in an Arya chapter that Sandor wanted to just live in a quiet, peaceful village until the end of his days, but he is kicked out because of his past and is clearly upset about it.

He kidnaps Arya because he wants to return her to the Starks in the hopes that they will take him in. And after the Red Wedding he still saves Arya, and after being VERY cruel to her in trying to get her to accept that her family is dead, he changes his tune literally overnight because, come on, she's a kid and what happened is horrible, he shouldn't have snapped at her and he knows it.

For fuck's sake, he CRIES confessing his sins Arya when he is "dying", and then changes his ways when he is rescued and taken to the Quiet Isle.

More important, during a public event in which his brother is trying to kill Loras for beating him in a duel, Sandor steps into to the rescue. It would have been THE perfect way to get his revenge on his abuser without any consequence - he'd just be defending himself and another person. No one could truly hold it against him if he had killed Gregor right then and there, not even Sansa. But instead, we are told this:

"Thrice Ned saw Ser Gregor aim savage blows at the hound’s-head helmet, yet not once did Sandor send a cut at his brother’s unprotected face."

George R.R. Martin went as far as creating an two distinct, very easy ways to highlight to the readers that this character has both a human side and a monstruous side - and that the human side would eventually win in this internal conflict.

The first is his identity as "The Hound." It represents his anger, his violent impulses, his willingness to obey unjust orders because it benefits him, his alcohol abuse, his tendency to snap at people for the smallest thing, and his refusal to accept that this behavior is not "just how the world works" and is in fact a problem he needs to work on.

Sandor struggles to let go of "The Hound" even though, as I like reminding people, no one hates that fucker more than Sandor himself does. He struggles because this bad behavior is a toxic coping mechanism. It was what allowed him to survive in a cruel, unjust world - in an Arya chapter, after WINNING a trial by combat and thus being forgiven for his own sins AND the sins of his brother, we have her describe him as looking like a frightened child after he gets burned. Sansa compares the kiss she's given by Sweet Robin, a little boy that latched onto her, to her imagined kiss with Sandor. The Hound is the mask a frightened, traumatized child that never matured in healthy way hides behind.

We even see Sansa herself adapt parts of "The Hound" into a healthy survival skill - righteous anger at her abusers and their enablers instead of just blind rage at every living thing, suspicion and caution around people until she's sure they can be trusted instead of believing EVERYONE is rotten to the core.

Sandor is called "The Hound" less and less as the books go on, until we reach the point of him being on the Quiet Isle, basically going through that world's equivalent of rehab and therapy, and then hear the very clear message of "The Hound is dead, Sandor Clegane is at rest." We even have an actual bad guy steal his hound helm and see how people are WRONG in assuming that Sandor Clegane is the monster running around raping and killing people because THAT IS NOT WHAT THIS MAN WANTS TO DO WITH HIS LIFE!

And that's despite him saying shit like "If you can't fight for yourself, die and get out of the way of those who can" - which brings us to the second way Martin used to highlight the duality of the character: his feelings on what it means to be a TRUE knight.

Sandor will constantly tell Sansa that true knights don't exist, that the very concept is ridiculous, that the world is awful and he's just honest about it, that knights are for killing and that killing is the sweetest thing there is.

Yet he refuses to take on the title when he joins the King's guard. Whether that refusal happens because Sandor doesn't think he deserves the title or because he is disgusted to be in the same class as people like Gregor, he is still letting the truth slip in the moment: deep down, he DOES care about honor, even if just a little. He DOES think there's something wrong with cruel, corrupt men being give praise and status for being "heroes" when they're actually monsters. He DOES have lines he doesn't cross and that nobody can make him change his mind on.

Now, obviously a true knight doesn't get "drunk as a dog", doesn't comment on a 12-year-old girl "having tits now" (especially not when that girl is noble AND the king's future queen), does work for corrupt lords, doesn't kill an innocent child because a spoiled prince threw a tantrum, and doesn't hold the 12-year-old he is trying to save at knife point during a PTSD episode.

But a true knight would prevent Sansa from killing Joffrey and being punished (and possibly killed) as a consequence, would give her advice on how to protect herself from the King's wrath and from potential manipulators, would scream in protest when she's being beaten and humiliated in public and then give her his cloak to cover herself up, would save her during a riot, would offer to try and get her back to her family - and would accept her refusing that offering - and he would remove his white cloak, the symbol of his honor, to demonstrate he is ashamed of having done something that goes against his code.

Sandor Clegane is a complex, deeply flawed man. He knows it. But he WANTS to be Sansa's knight in shinning armor because, deep down, he shares her beliefs. And she recognizes that, and Martin goes out of his way to show us that she prays for his soul.

"He is no true knight but he saved me all the same, she told the Mother. Save him if you can, and gentle the rage inside him.”

No matter how awful The Hound is, Sansa Stark is never gonna take it as proof that Sandor Clegane didn't deserve justice for what Gregor did to him - not even when she's saying, to his face, that if he doesn't change his ways the Gods will send him to hell. And she's going to call him "Ser" whether he likes it or not, and question why he lets people call him a dog, and will thank him and call him brave whenever he helps her out. He can complain all he wants, she's not gonna stop.

No matter how flawed of a protector he is, Sansa will always remember him as the closest she got to meeting a true knight - to the point that when she's about to be sexually assaulted in a later book and someone saves her, her first instinct is that her savior MUST be Sandor, even though she knows she's either half a continent away or full on dead by now.

And that kindness, understanding and faith in him is what Sandor had always, desperately longed for, but didn't think he would ever get or ever deserve. And for that, he feels he owes Sansa a debt he can never repay, so he is at his kindest to her, and steps up to protect her from Joffrey because he simply can't help himself.

Sandor is not putting on an act for Sansa or changing his behavior only towards her. She is the catalyst for his character arc. He gave her tools to survive, she gave him a REASON to survive.

It's why their last interaction has her wraping his cloak around herself, accepting him as her knight, after singing this song to him:

"Gentle Mother, font of mercy Save our sons from war, we pray Stay the swords and stay the arrows Let them know a better day Gentle Mother, strength of women Help our daughters through this fray Soothe the wrath and tame the furyTeach us all a kinder way"

Sansa's dynamic with with the Hound - not Sandor, the Hound - was pure "Kill them with kindness." Beauty killed the Beast. Sansa saved Sandor from the Hound, and now he feels it's his duty to protect her.

[virgobingo]

maki is an interesting character, bc she is generally acknowledged to be one of gege's best written characters in jjk, period. regardless of gender.

but the reason she is so great, is because her arc is centered around her experiences as a girl in a patriarchal society. not one that fits into the standard either.

she's born into a family that is considered misogynistic by other clans' standards. as a twin, no less, which is considered a bad omen. with little to no curse energy to boot.

still, for a large portion of her life, she desired to prove herself to them. in a way that reminds me of the myth of meritocracy? that idea of "if you work hard enough, you can do anything you want and you can prove yourself to the naysayers."

but in her journey she learns it's impossible for her to rise in an institution that actively works against her.

this happens, specifically, when she goes to the zenin clan during the culling games (to simply collect tools). she's confronted by reality in ways that echo momo and nobara's conversation (about the weight of misogyny in their lives).

"A scar on the face can be a good thing for guys. But not for girls. You think the world of Jujutsu Sorcerers is based on skills? [It is] Sure. But only for guys. Even if a girl is skilled, if she's not cute, she is looked down upon. Of course, if she's only cute without any skill, it's the same. Women Jujutsu Sorcerers aren't expected to be skilled. They're expected to be perfect." (Momo, Chapter 40)

the first thing she is told when she visits the compound is "yikes, what a face. that ain't gonna heal. what are you gonna do Maki? [...] all you had going was your face and now it's wrecked. no one will even look in your direction anymore." (Chapter 148, p.2-3)

after that, she crosses paths with her mother, who, at face value, echoes the horror tropes of mothers that "fanatically conform to the institution" (i think her actions later make her more complex).

then, finally, maki comes across her father, who remarks on maki and mai's "worthlessness" to him. he's convinced himself he would be better off in life if they were dead.

maki's continuously told she has no value in this world. for things that are out of her control.

of course, this all leads to the loss of mai, who sacrifices herself in order to essentially push maki forward as a character bc "to gain something, you must offer something," in the world of jujutsu kaisen. this is not exclusive to them. it also leads to mai telling maki something that aligns really well with what "female rage" means to me:

"Destroy… Everything" (Chapter 149, p.12)

why?

i think there is no amount of climbing you can do in a society that is actively pulling you down. no way to become clan head in an institution that wants you dead.

i believe it's this realization that causes maki to embrace her "monstruous femininity" that ultimately results in her ascension (as a person, as a sorcerer).

i know some people criticize her decision to kill the zenin in honor of her sister's memory. but, i think the message here is that some institutions simply cannot be reformed.

also, note that with their destruction, maki's narratively released from their expectations.

anyways, what comes after is honestly hilarious. i think it's a mockery of what gege expected misogynistic readers to say. "you're not toji!" (Chapter 151, 6-19) as if drawing a parallel implies that she's his copy.

another charming detail to maki's character is how sumo helps her find freedom/her groove. considering how, in traditional sumo, "women are considered impure and cannot step into the ring". it's just something so fitting for maki who continually defies gender expectations.

long post to say: i honestly love her and i think ppl often ignore how entrenched her story is in the female experience bc they just see how buff she is.

[rasqeu]

there's a lot that we don't know about what would happen to shen qingqiu if shen yuan "went back to his original world", but assuming that it'd also mean death for the host body... if there wasn't a punishment avaiable back when sqq failed zhao hua monastery's quest, and he died right there, i can't even begin to think how that would wreck binghe's mind, which was already being fucked up by emotional turmoil + xin mo's evil energy. he'd destroy the other three sects, of course, blaming them for killing his shizun, but i don't even think he'd stop there, he might destroy huan hua palace, for all their recently found out history with his biological parents and because it was once one of the four major sects, idk i think he'd just destroy every single fucking thing until there would be nothing left in both realms. it is such a key point in the story, so close to climax, that oh boy the consequences would be monstruous

i think about this a lot

[mattywrites]

We write of hunger as though it isn't a fundamental need. We hunger for one another and make our approach like starved beasts and the urge to rip one another to gooey shreds and viscera is virtually identical to the impulse of embracing, nestling inside one another's embrace, and experiencing the pound and thrill of human emotion—the raw beating out of your chest feeling a racing heart instils—at it's maximal crescendo. Love and lust are so intricately linked that to separate them is a fool's errand and demeaning to our animality, primitivity, and our quest for ultimate human violence. Love is the most violent emotion there is and like those starved, ravaging creatures, it makes us do the most insane things, love and rationality are contradictory states after all; mutually exclusive with one another. Is there a greater motivator? Even fear and horror pale in comparison to the influence of love. The sheer number of bodies turning to dust in the ground—decaying and leeching into the soil—or being finely ground to nothing but fine particles by the shifting of massive volumes of water, currents, and waves. All snuffed out in the name of love. We become such vulgar things. The very emotion at the essence of our humanity—our defining characteristic—and yet it inspires the worst in us. Thus, with the light shining directly on it once more, we see it for what it is; the basest of hungers. Our insatiable thirst for monstruous violence and human conflict. The confronting, diametrically opposed forces, that occur within us that we externalise and turn into chaos. It's beautiful and terrifying to behold.

[horreurscopes]

four days ago on monday my (radical queer black) therapist told me they were an adult when 9/11 happened, and not only is the current zionist propaganda being pushed by the united states the exact same playbook, but they said it was "hundreds of times more intense" due to social media. they said it was surreal to experience it again. i said being overwhelmed with feeling makes me feel like i'm making it about me, someone with no ties to the middle east. they said it's the most natural, human thing to experience horror and grief when being made to witnesses a holocaust of innocent people.

three months from turning 30 i thought i knew everything there is to know about the evils of the world, and yet i find myself surprised to realize there was still a last sliver of innocence within me left to lose. history will remember the short-lived american empire as the single most sadistic, brutal, barbaric, monstruous and bloodthirsty sovereign state to ever plague our species, and i can only hope to live long enough to see it burn to the ground. هي فلسطين من النهر إلى البحر