#a lot of those groceries would go to the food bank

[stevviefox]

Hmmmm, hit Fort Knox first - gold.

Hit big box stores and chain groceries and pack the storerooms of shelters. Dump some of the gold in each.

Get a big semi tractor trailer

Then I’d steal farming/garden equipment, OK burgle a Home Depot. A surger sewing machine, 8 heddle loom, a small kiln, a pottery wheel, a crap ton of fabric, sewing supplies, clays, paints; I guess turn over a Michael’s. Steal everything at the King Arthur flour store.

Then hide my full stolen truck. When the 24 hours are up, use gold to buy land and build a cool solar powered house.

That’s about as evil as I’d get.

My beef with the premise behind "The Purge" is that it's not laws stopping people from killing each other in the streets - it's kinda just the default human experience to not want to hurt anyone. We succeeded as a species because we're generally decent at getting along with each other. The average, well-adjusted human has no desire to inflict undeserved harm.

We do, however, hate rules, so we'd probably still get a little wild in less harmful ways.

No "none," you're a hardened criminal now. Please feel free to share more details of your heinous (victimless) acts in comments or tags 😎

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

What the food pantry on campus does:

- gives me snacks and drinks to supplement my regular groceries, breakfast stuff, maybe ingredients for 1-2 actual meals

What the food pantry is really bad at doing:

- giving me food I can make into proper meals for the week

Oh you want juice? Here’s 2 little juice boxes. Nothing else; they’re limited. You want pasta sauce? 1 can; limited. You want produce? 2 produce item limit, except for the apples which are starting to spoil. You can have all of those. You want frozen chicken? One container only. Oh, they’re all stuck together and frozen? Sorry, you can’t have two; no chicken, I guess. Pasta? One box only. Rice? Two small bags, max. Breakfast bars? Yeahhhh, those are a snack, and you can only have five snacks, total. But if you put those pop tarts back, you could have some! Oh, you want donuts instead? Sure! But that’s a bakery item, and you can only have one baked good, so you’re gonna need to put that bread back. You want ziploc bags? Here, have two. Not two boxes, two bags. Item limits. Sorry. You can come back next week!

How the fuck are people supposed to actually *use* these things for weekly meal planning if there’s not enough to last a week???

I swear I am grateful for these resources I’m sure they’re doing the best they can with what they have I’m just *frustrated*. I’m trying to spend less on groceries bc I can’t really afford them. It’s nice that the food pantry gives me these small portions to last me a couple days. But that still leaves several days with not enough food unless I’m really creative or go grocery shopping, and I simply do not have the energy or time to be really creative.

[obsesssedblerd]

“Megumi!” You call your son in the living room, who’s sitting next to his father, Toji, on the couch watching the news. “Could you go grab your sister and tell her to put her studying on hold? Dinner’s almost done.” 

“Yeah, no problem,” Megumi says as he rises to his feet, putting his headphones around his neck and pulling his phone out of his hoodie pocket. “Oh, uh, Mom?” 

“Hm?” 

“Can Itadori spend the night after dinner?” He then looks over at Toji with a small scowl. “After Dad hides all of his assassin stuff?” 

“Hey, watch it,” Toji says.

You nod with a light smile. You loved having Yuuji Itadori over. He was a bright kid, and besides, he made Megumi relaxed and happy. “Of course. Go prepare the guest bed, yeah?” 

Megumi departs with a nod, then heads upstairs. From the living room, you hear Toji whistle. “Wow. Baby, looks like Spider-Man stopped that bank robbery.”

You look up from the dishes in the kitchen, then hum in delight when you catch what’s on the screen. It looked like small clips from the internet as the reporter gave details. The masked hero, wearing blue and red, swings, fights, and rescues hostages swiftly. “Incredible,” you say, then walk over to hand your husband a list of groceries. “Could you head to the store and grab these? I want to make sure that we have enough food for breakfast in the morning now that Yuuji will be staying the night.” 

Toji looks around to make sure that Megumi and Tsumiki aren’t present, then lowers his voice to a whisper. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about Yuuji.” 

“Megumi has feelings for him. Yeah, I know.” 

“No- Not that. Amazing for them, and I think they’re adorable together, but,” Toji points over at the TV. “I think he’s Spider-Man.”

You blink, then burst into laughter as you head back into the kitchen. “Toji, what? Don’t be ridiculous. He’s only fifteen and very busy. You know how often he studies with Megumi.” 

“I’m serious,” he says as he follows you. “Think about it. Do you know how often Yuuji shows up with bruises or scratches?” 

You begin arranging plates on the dining room table. “Just like our son, the kid’s a fighter. I mean, his uncle Sukuna was a huge fighter before he passed away. Plus, he spends a lot of time with Satoru Gojo, and we know how he is. Also, doesn’t he have an older brother? Brothers fight.” 

“True, but just walk with me for a second.” You sigh and look up to see Toji waving his hands animatedly as he explained. “Do you remember when we all went to the parade on New Years together, and that giant robot appeared?” 

“Yes, it was all everyone could talk about for days.” 

“Uh-huh.” He then points at you. “Do you also remember how Yuuji was gone when Spider-Man appeared at the scene?” 

You stare at him blankly. “...Toji, he went to the bathroom before everything happened,” you remind him. “I’m certain that he got lost in the crowd when everyone started running.”

Toji groans. “You don’t believe me. Baby, I’m telling you—He’s Spider-Man. I can’t prove it now, but I will eventually.” 

You sigh again and cross your arms. “Okay, so, let’s say he was. What would you do?” 

“Well, I mean…” Toji mutters, then sheepishly rubs the back of his head as he quietly chuckles. “I dunno, give him a high-five? Worry about Megumi?” 

“Trust me, Toji. The only people with secret identities here are you and I.” You reach over and grab a stack of napkins. “By the way, Megumi had a point earlier. Be more careful about where you’re leaving weapons. One of Tsumiki’s friends nearly saw one not too long ago.” 

He winces. “Sorry.” 

“You’re fine.” You push to your tip toes and gently kiss him. “No job tonight, right? I know I don’t have one.” 

“Nope. Once I get those groceries, I’m all free.” He grabs the list from you, then reaches towards you to lovingly push a loose strand of hair away from your face. “I’ll be back soon.” When he leaves through the back door, the front doorbell rings. 

You hear Megumi rush down the stairs. “I got it,” he tells you as he passes you. When the door opens, Yuuji Itadori waves at you with his usual grin. “Hi, Mrs. Fushiguro!”

“Hi, Yuuji. What happened to your face?” You ask. His lip is slightly busted, and there’s a bruise beginning to form on his jaw. Yuuji laughs sheepishly, shoving his hands into the pockets of his yellow hoodie. “Oh, uh, me and Okkotsu fought again. Gojo-sensei had to pull us apart.” 

Megumi rolls his eyes. “I swear, you’re always fighting.”

“Aw, come on, Megumi,” Yuuji teases with a smirk as he crosses his arms. “You’re just as bad. I heard about what happened a few days ago.”

Your son’s cheeks dust with pink, and he clears his throat. “Yeah, whatever. You need to get cleaned up before dinner. Come on, there’s a first-aid kit in the bathroom.” 

Megumi goes upstairs, and Yuuji follows close behind him. You’re about to tell Yuuji that the flap of his backpack is slightly unzipped, but the words get stuck in your throat when you catch the tiniest hint of the red and blue suit. You only see it for a split-second before Yuuji swings his backpack around, excitedly telling Megumi about a new action figure he wants to get for his birthday.

Your eyes widen. Holy shit. 

-----

a/n: lol i can't believe I wrote this. spidey yuuji au, you'll always be loved by me <3

[hxxsxxng]

Do You Believe in Fate? s.jy

「pairing」 : childhoodbestfriend!jake x afab!reader

「synopsis」 : read the preview here

「word count」 : 15.3k

「genre」 : A lot of angst, smut, somewhat fluff, college au

「warnings」 : MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!!! cursing, lot of nicknames, mentions of alcohol, consumption of alcohol, hangover, poor mental state, kissing, cuddling, alcoholism, toxic friends (not jake), teasing, crying, begging, distress, groping (consentual), unprotected sex, pulling out, loss of virginity, lowkey size kink, oral (m and f recieving), titty sucking, sharing a bath tub, mentions of hospitalizations, implications of potential death, depression.

「authors note」 : i want to thank everyone for motivating me to finish this story and writing this was truly an experience that will effect me as a writer moving forward. i am tagging all of my mutuals so hopefully i could get some feed back! i love every last one of you

「taglist」 : @jakeflvrz - @simhinata - @eternality - @goldenretrieverjakezgirlbaby - @jakesangel - @yjwsgf - @diorsyun - @pockettwinzz - @emi-en - @en-ner-jay - @yeonzzzn - @hoonieesm - @hoonheepretty - @jaysupremacy - @cherry-park - @heeslomll - @alvojake - @taeghi - @dollyyun - @sumzysworld - @wonsbaer

It was the summer before me and Jake’s junior year of university. We have been working all summer and it’s another other day at the office. Putting in check information for the bank was a lot more boring than I expected .Wake up, go to work, come home, sleep, repeat. There was no time to do anything else. We were always told that if we went to college, we would have a good job. That proved to be wrong. 

Both Jake and I are going through college together, though he landed a way better paying job than I did. When it comes to bills, he ends up having to pay more than me, but he swears up and down that it is not a big deal.

I set down my mug. I hear my phone ring. It’s Jake. “Hello?” he should be at work. “Hey Pumpkin, I got out early today, were there any groceries that we needed?”

“I wasn’t expecting this, but no I can’t think of anything.”  “Okay, Stay safe, I will see you later.”

Jake never really got time off of work but when he did, I usually tried to stay out of his hair and let him relax. I just continued to run reports, pretty much twiddling my thumbs until the clock struck 5 and I would make my way out of this hell hole.

Traffic was terrible as usual. A usually 7 minute drive turned into an hour. Days like this I just want to get home and throw all my stuff on the ground and lock myself away in my room. Maybe watch some TV. Or listen to some music while my computer is hooked up to it. Anything that distracts from knowing I have to go back to the job I hate the next day. My thoughts are interrupted by a honk coming from behind me. The light turns green. Thank God. But as soon as I pull away from the curb, a car pulls out in front of me. Damn those stupid drivers. I don’t even know how many times this month I’ve had to pull over so they could let someone pass. It isn’t worth getting into a fight with them about. I try to ignore them.

I made it back to our house just in time for the sun to still be out. I made way into the house and Jake was in the kitchen. It was an unusual sight. His after work routine typically consists of cracking open a cold one and playing his computer. “Hey princess” he greeted me.

I stand at the front door, taking off my shoes and hanging my keys on the rack. “What has you in a good mood all of a sudden” I ask suspiciously.

“Well since I got off work early, I figured i’d come home and suprise you with dinner since you just been eating so much take out recently” he replied nonchalantly. The thought makes me sick. “You didn’t need to do that Jake.” “Oh yes, I did. You haven’t been cooking for yourself for a couple months now. I wanted to show you how much your best friend cares about you” he says.

Reguardless of what I say, the food is made and there is no taking it back. I guess I can’t really argue with him over it.

“And besides, I know you have missed your mom cooking pasta for us when we would go to her house in Australia, I figured I should make some do you instead” he adds.

I slowly approach the table. He is still finishing up plating everything. He looks up at me and smiles. “It smells good” I say flatly. He takes off the oven mitts and wipes his hands on it. He sets my plate down in front of me and he pulls out the chair to my right and takes a seat.

“So how was your day Jake?” I asked awkwardly. He starts digging in and responds, “Not too bad. What about yours?”

“Same shit different day. Boss is always yelling at me and the company keeps treating me like garbage even though I am the only one who actually gives a fuck.” I complained, eating a piece of garlic toast. It tasted good, surprisingly good, considering the amount of spices he used.

“Well I am glad it’s Friday so you can take some time to unwind over the weekend” he attempts to comfort me but at this point i’m too tired.

“I guess.” I poke at my food a little bit. Why does Jake’s job seem so perfect? he easily makes twice as what I make and I rarely hear him complain about working either.

“You don’t have to eat if you don’t want to, I am not going to force you.” I guess Jake noticed me being hesitant about eating the rest of my meal.

“It’s not that I don’t want to eat it’s just that I’m really stressed and I don’t want to keep you here listening to me complain about the same things over and over again”

“Look at me” he said. I slowly lift my head for my eyes to meet with his. “I promise I will never get tired of listening to you” he reassured.

There he goes again, sending those butterflies flapping in my stomach. I don’t understand why he is so gentle and compassionate. It gives me goosebumps. I decide I might as well stop procrastinating and start enjoying the evening. “Thank you” I say, giving him a small smile. His face immediately lit up. It’s kind of cute. The rest of dinner went rather smoothly. Jake kept the conversation going, mostly talking about my day and what his was about, and then we would drift off into silence. He looked so relaxed and calm that I felt completely at ease. Even if I knew I should feel bad for keeping him up with my whining, I couldn’t bring myself to.

I stand up from the table and wash my plate. “I don’t know if anyone told you today, but you look gorgeous as always” he sneaks up behind me. “You don’t look too bad your self Jake” I returned. My face was already a dark hue of red.

I decided maybe tonight I won’t rot away in my room. It’s a Friday night, I’ll have a little bit of fun. Still inside the house though. It is probably too cold outside anyway. I realize I am still in my work clothes. I return to my room to take them off and throw on my most comfortable pair of shorts and a talk top and take my Nintendo Switch to the living room.

Jake was already waiting there for me. He had a bottle of wine and 2 empty glasses. He looked up when I entered and smiled. I gave a shy smile and sat down next to him. He pulled me closer to him, pressing himself against me. Our legs intertwined under the couch. For a moment I forgot about the work situation and the world. In that moment it just felt nice to sit close to someone who cared for me unconditionally.

“What were you wanting to play?” he breaks the silence. “I was thinking we could play some Mario Kart” I suggested.

“Yeah we can, but you already know I’m gonna kick your ass”. He loves teasing me. I punched his shoulder and chuckled.

~~~~~~~~~~

He is in my bed. I just woke up and he is in my bed. I don’t know how to react. Maybe I drank a little too much? I really don’t remember anything after playing a few rounds of Mario Kart. He looks so peaceful. His dark brown hair all tangled up on the pillow. The way his biceps look in his black tank top. He doesn’t snore, but the way he breathes when he sleeps is very cute. There is a slight hint of stubble on his chin, almost like he hasn’t shaved in awhile. His lips are slightly parted. His face shows such contentment and relaxation. He looks so damn beautiful. I have to admit he is pretty attractive and I think he knows it. And I can’t help but wonder about what would happen if I leaned forward and kissed him. His soft lips pressed up against mine. I think it would be okay. Probably wouldn’t hurt. Scratch that, it would probably hurt a lot.

I woke up surprisingly early for a Saturday morning. Usually I am in bed until noon, but it’s only 9:30. Opposite of me, Jake likes to start his weekends bright and early, so it is a bit strange that he isn’t awake by now. I won’t bother him. It’s probably better this way. I roll over onto my side facing away from him. I close my eyes trying to fall back asleep. But it seems to be impossible. My mind is too preoccupied and Jake’s body is far too close to mine for my liking. I groan quietly. It doesn’t help at all.

I crawl out of bed, doing my best not to wake Jake up. As soon as I step out of the room, I feel my phone buzz in my pocket. It’s my mom. I guess I hadn’t returned and of her texts last night. She asks if I have slept okay and if I’ve eaten breakfast. When she sees I haven’t. She sends me a picture of the last time I was at her house eating spaghetti. “Just eat something sweetheart and take care of yourself” she reminds me gently. I sigh deeply before replying. “Mhmm thanks mom” I set my phone down on the kitchen counter and rummage through the fridge, hoping to find something appetizing for breakfast. As I search, I can't stop thinking about waking up next to Jake this morning. We've been best friends for so long, but recently I've started seeing him in a new light. The way his eyes crinkle when he smiles, how considerate he is, it stirs up the feelings I've been trying to suppress. I shake my head slightly and settle on making some eggs and toast.

As I cook, memories of last night come flooding back. The wine, the laughter, the gentle way he pulled me close on the couch as we played games. My heart flutters just thinking about how natural and right it felt being cuddled up next to him. But I can't read too much into it. Jake is my oldest friend, he probably sees the intimacy as purely platonic. The sizzle of the eggs brings me back to reality. I quickly plate the food and grab a mug of coffee before heading to the living room. I'll just relax and enjoy this lazy Saturday morning.

I'm about halfway through my breakfast when I hear Jake's footsteps shuffling down the hallway. He emerges, hair sticking up adorably, letting out a big yawn. "Mornin' sunshine," he says with a sleepy grin. I feel my cheeks warm at the nickname. "Morning. I made some extra if you want it," I reply, nodding toward the kitchen. "You're the best." Jake passes over to dish up a plate, giving me a perfect view of his lean back muscles stretching against his thin t-shirt. I quickly avert my eyes as he returns to the couch. As he sits next to me, our arms brush and I feel that spark of electricity again.

Jake doesn't seem to notice, just digs into his eggs happily. We eat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before he speaks up again.

"That was a fun night last night, wasn't it?" His eyes meet mine with a warm smile. "We'll have to do it again soon." I return the smile, hoping he can't see the longing behind it. "Yeah, it was really nice." Nice to just relax and be ourselves without any expectations or pressures. Nice to feel...that close to him.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

~~~~~~~~~~

Jake has a friend named Jay. When Jake isn’t at work or at the house, he is most likely hanging out with Jay. Jay is a go with the flow kind of guy and was kind of a womanizer. There’s nothing wrong with it, but I try not to hang out with Jake when Jay is there for that reason.

Jake and Jay always go out for drinks on Saturday nights. I can’t remember the last time he was home on a Saturday night and I didn’t have to take care of him the next morning. He routinely stays at Jay’s house that night then gets an Uber back here the next morning.

Jake and Jay's Saturday night routine carried on like clockwork most weekends. Around 9 PM, Jay would pick Jake up and they'd head to their usual bar downtown. The two friends would drink heavily, telling outrageous stories and shamelessly checking out any attractive women who passed by.

For Jake, it was just a guys' night out away from work stress. But for Jay, it was a chance to flirt and see if he could add another notch to his bedpost. Jake didn't partake in that behavior himself, but he also didn't reproach Jay for it. He figured it was just Jay's way.

Come last call, the two would be pretty sloshed. Instead of dealing with an Uber that late, Jake would just crash at Jay's place. He'd wake up hungover the next morning and request a ride from a car service back home.

When he arrived home disheveled, I'd already have water and painkillers ready for him. I hated having to nurse him after these nights, but it was better than having Jay's leering presence around me. His constant objectification of women made me deeply uncomfortable. So I put up with Jake's hangovers to avoid that part of their friendship dynamic.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Jake opens the front door. I can hear him complaining about his headache already. He sets his keys down and immediately lays down in the couch.

"Hey babygirl, where is the aspirin? Do we have any aspirin left?" he asks groggily. A small chuckle escapes my lips before I turn around to look at him, smiling slightly. “I already got it out for you, and here is a glass of water”. His eyes are closed as I place the pills in his hand and he smiles once they make contact. “Thank you so much for taking care of me princess.” he praises as he shot the tablets into his mouth.

I giggle. This man is ridiculous. A loud yawn escapes his lips and I smile. As much as I hate seeing him like this, I am content with letting him have his fun every once in a while. His shirt is buttoned incorrectly, showing off his muscular chest. I look back at his face. His eyes were opened and he noticed me staring.

“What’s wrong Princess?” he slurs. “Do I look stupid or something?” “No Jake, you look great” I reply truthfully. “You just looked a little tired is all.”

Jake rolls over on the couch and turns onto his side. “I know you’re going to tell me I should rest more, but it’s so hard to sleep when you’re not in the same room.”

“Really? You usually fall asleep within seconds. Why is that?” He shrugs. “Don’t know babe. Just don’t like being alone.” I frown. That’s true enough. Jake never really liked being by himself. Ever since we were in diapers, he had always been surrounded by people. His parents, coworkers…me.

I decide to ask something rather personal instead. Maybe that will distract us for a while. “How’s your mom doing lately? Do you miss her?” Jake doesn’t respond right away. He starts fidgeting under my gaze. His hands begin picking at a loose thread on the couch cushion.

“Yeah, yeah. I miss her. I wish she wouldn’t be working so much now. She used to work less back when we were high school, you know? I still get worried sometimes” he answers with a slight edge in his voice. “It’s okay Jake. You know she likes working for your dad. It helps pay for everything” I remind him softly. He nods slowly. After a few moments, he finally breaks the silence.

“Why do you ask?” I guess he was caught off guard by the question. “I know it’s been a while since you’ve seen them, Australia isn’t in walking distance, ya know.” I try to cheer him up.

He sighs and looks down at the couch. “I guess I just wish I was able to spend more time with her like I did when I was younger. It doesn’t matter though.” He shakes his head dismissively. “She’ll come visit whenever she can. I’m just glad we both decided to live somewhere else for college. I would definitely have missed our family trips.”

“Oh…” I bite my lip unsure what to say to comfort him. He’s always taken his mother very seriously. Even when he was young he often complained that she worked too hard and stressed herself out, which only made him madder. In all fairness, she did work extremely hard—even harder than he ever could. And now that she has found some semblance of stability, he worries that he won’t be able to provide for her the lifestyle he wanted for her.

I reach out and pat Jake's arm reassuringly. "I know how much you miss your mom. But she's doing what she needs to in order to help take care of the bills and your dad. You know she'd be here if she could."

Jake nods slowly. "Yeah, you're right. I just wish there was more I could do from here, instead of feeling so helpless being so far away. I know my dad would want me there as well" He runs a hand through his tousled hair. "At least I have you around. Don't know what I'd do. You kinda of bring a feeling of home to me. I hope that made sense.”

I feel my cheeks flush a little at his words. "Well, you know I'll always be here for you," I reply, trying to keep my tone light.

“Thank you sweet heart.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Our parents went to University together. That’s how they met. My mom met Jake’s mom in a sociology class, and they have been best friends ever since. Being college bestfriend basically guarantees that your kid will have someone to grow up with, and they took advantage of that. He has litterally been there for every life event my mom felt was important enough to let him in on.

Though we didn’t become friends by choice, we were latched onto eachother ever since we were introduced. I remember I would ball my eyes out when even Jake got sick because it meant I couldn’t hang out with him after school or have play dates on the weekends. As we grew up, the situations weren’t as innocent. I would confide in him when I was upset, and he would hold me in his arms after my nightmares. I even found comfort in him after my numerous hearts breaks in highschool. Though none of my relationships were ever that serious, I was still unmistakably heartbroken.

Jake was never really a ladies man in highschool, or in general. He studied more on acedemics, which I guess was a good idea considering where he is now. Although I’d never said anything about it, his dating career was pretty dead for several years. In my opinion, it seemed unfair to Jake to not go on dates after highschool. While I understood why he wasn’t interested, it seemed a waste not to try. After all, I’m sure he could get any chick he wanted if he tried, I mean look at him. He had grown from a cute kid playing video games to one who had a perfect body and gorgeous features to match. So yeah, I loved that he was a boy and my friend. But there was no way I could give myself completely to such a man, especially with our history.

Jake is a lot different when I’m around, a lot more caring and loving. I’m reminded of all those times when I would find Jake crying when we came back from vacation during our sophomore year, or how he would suddenly appear at my room door at 5am looking for reassurance or help. At the time, I thought it was because he needed someone to talk to about the things troubling his mind, but now that I think about it , it’s kind of obvious he’s lonely. His dad has been in and out of the hospital recently. I don’t really want to push Jake into going into detail about his condition because it might make him emotional, but I just know that it is another thing that is weighing on him.

When I first started seeing him more and more recently, I thought maybe he wanted us to become closer friends. I mean, he was always talking about how much he adores spending time with me, and how grateful he is to me for saving him and bringing him back to life. I think the situation with his parents are weighing down on him more than I realize.

~~~~~~~~~~

The rhythmic tapping of rain against the window pane fills the hushed stillness of my bedroom. I lie awake, Jake's sleeping form curled up beside me, his head pillowed on my chest. His eyebrows are furrowed even in slumber, mouth turned down in a soft frown - the worry lines etched across his features never seem to fully fade these days. Gently, I brush some stray locks of hair off his forehead, my thumb tracing over the crease between his brows. Jake's been carrying the entire weight of his family's struggle on those broad shoulders.

A quiet sigh escapes his lips and he burrows deeper into my side, one arm slinging possessively over my waist. We've been a tangle of limbs like this more nights than not recently. After the latest bout of bad news about his dad, Jake sought me out like a man wandering through the desert in desperate need of water. I remember the rawness in his voice as he begged to stay in his room, to be held and comforted, the same way I always have. Whatever Jake needs from me, he'll never be turned away.

Trailing my fingers through Jake's hair, I allow myself to drink in every detail of him in this rare moment of peace. The slight upturn of his perfectly sloped nose. The way his plump lips are parted just enough to allow shallow puffs of breath to ghost across my skin. He really is beautiful in the most masculine, rugged way. Not that I'd ever say that out loud - it would be mortifying if Jake caught me ogling him like some lovesick fool. Then again, I've been a lovesick fool for the better part of a decade when it comes to him.

Lost in the flow of my thoughts, I don't even register the soft snuffling noises at first. It's only when Jake's eyelashes start fluttering that I glance down to find him blinking up at me groggily. Without a word, he shifts until his head is cradled in the crook of my neck, placing a slow, scorching kiss to the exposed skin of the side of my neck.

The world seems to screech to a halt. That...was definitely intentional. Purposefully intimate. There's no way it was an accident or a brief moment of sleep-hazy confusion. Not with the way Jake's pupils are blown wide, his lips parting to reveal the tip of his tongue darting out to wet them instinctively.

Just as quickly as the spark ignited, Jake seems to deflate, burying his face into the juncture of my neck and shoulder with a muffled whimper. His hands are fisting in the fabric of my sleep shirt, clutching me with a white-knuckled grip like I'm his lifeline back to the surface. Like if he doesn't hold on, he might drown. "Hey hey hey…" I gently stroke the length of his spine calming him. "You're okay now, everything is alright, relax..." Jake's breathing gradually slows. Gradually, he begins to relax, his fingers slackening their death grip in my shirt.

A few moments pass in silence before he lifts his head and looks directly at me. His eyes are slightly bloodshot, probably from all the crying. They’re red and glassy, a stark contrast to his usually flawless complexion. "Sorry," he murmurs. I shrug slightly. "Don't apologize." After a few sniffles, I feel his breathing become more consistent and his face is dry. He starts to do that cute breathing that I talked about. After I realized that he has met some sort of peace and fell asleep, I fell asleep soon after.

~~~~~~~~~~

The morning light filters in through the cracks of my blinds, shining over Jake's sleeping body in a soft glow. My eyes trace the line of his jawbone, the gentle rise and fall of his bare chest as he breathes. He looks so tranquil like this.

Jake smells so fucking good. If I could lay on his chest and take it his scent all day, I really would. Not to mention his face is extremely handsome. He has the face that other guys wish they had. It’s very obvious he takes care of himself.

I can't stop replaying that moment from last night over and over in my mind. The heat of Jake's lips pressing against the skin of my neck. Part of me was desperate to surge forward then and seal my mouth over Jake's, to finally give in to the magnetic pull that's been drawing me to him.

But I didn't. I couldn't. Because I'm also terrified of what exploring these feelings could mean for our relationship.

Losing him isn't an option I can fathom. And he seemed to make the same choice in that moment by turning away, burying his face against my neck with a whimper that could have been either anguished or relieved.

We're cowards, the two of us. Content to dance around the fire instead of being set ablaze

Part of me wonders if Jake was hoping for something in return. Maybe a kiss? Maybe he did it to show it trust and comfort for me. He knows what he is doing. The moment his lips touched my neck, my whole body shivered. I wanted more but I contained myself.

My body still hums with the memory of his kiss, nerves tingling with equal parts of dread. I want to reach out and trail my fingertips over the golden skin of his forearm, to breathe him in and see if he tastes how I've imagined on my tongue.

How many more moments like last night can I survive before the truth comes out? I don't have the answers. All I know is that I'm still undeniably his - body, mind and heart.

It has been too many nights where I imagine his lips against mine. The way he chills my spine when whispers in my ear makes me crave hearing his voice. I wonder what he would be like in a relationship with me, he treats me like a princess already, I don’t know how much better it could get.

My mind drifts to memories of him holding me tight when I was upset, his muscular arms engulfing me in a warm embrace. The feeling of safety and contentment that would wash over me in those moments. If I could experience that every night by his side, it might just be pure bliss.

I fantasize about waking up intertwined with Jake, our legs tangled together as we trade kisses and touches unhurried by the outside world. Combing my fingers through his bed hair while he peppers light kisses along my jawline.

Maybe there could be slowmake-out sessions on the couch, all heated caresses and desperate roaming hands before things inevitably progress further. I would lavish every sculpted line of Jake's body with devoted attention. I imagine he would be an attentive, generous lover, just as giving in the bedroom as he is in every other aspect of his life.

I also can’t get over the mental hurdle that maybe it is kind of gross that I see my bestfriend this way. I could easily mistake all of the kind things he does and how he treats me as something more than what he intends it to be, and that would make me uneasy. I have never done anything sexual with him and anything that would imply sexual attraction, yet I am still here wondering what it is like to have sex with him.

~~~~~~~~~~

I really need to get my feelings sorted out soon because they are just going to keep building up until they eventually burst, and I really don’t want Jake to witness that.The week went the same again. and again. and again. Wake up, go to work, do nothing after. But recently, Jake got a promotion at his job, which was grounds for celebration.

The local diner is busy with the lunch crowd, the air thick with aromas of burgers sizzling on the griddle and fresh baked pie. Jake and I slip into our usual corner booth, the cracked vinyl cushions molding to our forms like old friends. This place has been our go to spot since we started university here. We've shared so many moments in this very booth over the years. Happy celebrations or acing a big exam.

Which is why the thick tension clouding the air between us right now feels so alien. Instead of our usual easy camaraderie, I can barely look at Jake without my pulse kicking up. The memory of his firm chest brushing mine, those plush lips just a table length away, has my skin flushing hot. I squeeze my thighs together secretly, desperate for any kind of friction to alleviate the slow burn of arousal low in my belly.

Just being this close to Jake is enough to have that want unfolding all over again. Filling my head with flashes of how it could feel to finally give in - his weight blanketing me, our bodies moving together in a sinuous rhythm as his mouth trails searing kisses along my neck. "Hey." Jake's low rumble jolts me out of the vivid fantasy.

"You're zoning out, sweetheart. Everything okay?" My cheeks flame darker, that suddenly seems too intimate. I duck my head, but not before catching the unmistakable smirk curling at the corners of Jake's lips. That insufferable, cocky smirk he knows drives me crazy. I want to kiss it off his stupidly perfect face. Or maybe bite at the sharp line of his jaw, put that arrogant look to better use while I'm straddling his lap and--

"Fine," I mumble, hooking a loose strand of hair behind my ear to avoid meeting Jake's eyes. The small movement causes our elbows to brush together on the tabletop. His skin is so soft. Jake's brow furrows, like he doesn't miss the way I've gone tense and flustered all over again. Before I can blink, his hand is covering mine. Those long fingers tenderly stroking along my knuckles, smoothing over my suddenly clammy skin.

Slowly, purposefully, Jake tugs my hand closer until my palm is cupping his scruffy jaw. I suck in a sharp, shaky breath at the contact, at being able to feel the rasp of his five o'clock shadow against my sensitive skin. Jake holds me there for a moment, those meltingly warm eyes boring into mine like he's trying to read my mind.

Then, in the most tempting act of torture imaginable, Jake presses his lips to my wrist in the barest brush of mouth against pulse point. I swear I could die right then and there. He slowly pulls away, looking up to meet my eyes once again. Our gaze meets, intense and lustful, filled with a hunger that only he knows how to create. This feels so wrong, so dangerous. The fact he's staring down at my lips, licking his subconsciously causes a slight hitch in my breathing. A tiny part of me wants to lean forward and press my lips to his. But I stop the impulse with the thought of what we did last night, and the consequences of getting caught again.

Instead, I let out a sigh and break eye contact before pulling my hand away and placing my elbow on the table. I rub my thumb across my wrist absentmindedly while avoiding Jake's gaze, the words I want to say stuck somewhere inside my throat like rocks. There isn't anything I can do. What I have with Jake is different now. I'm scared shitless to tell him how I truly feel.

"What's wrong? Are you alright?" Jake asks, worry laced into his tone. He places a hand on my thigh, making me jump slightly. “It’s nothing, really” I lied. The server comes over to the table to take our order. “What could I get started for you to drink” he says.

-

Our meal goes by normally, Jake pretending that he had done nothing earlier. Afterward, we head home, the silence thickening the further into town we get. There’s nothing for me to say, no reason to prolong this conversation I’m dreading anymore. He must sense my sudden change of mood. He drops his arm from around my shoulders and lets his hand fall limply back onto his knee.

We walk silently in the direction of our house. Neither of us speaking. It’s almost as if we’re both waiting for the other to make the first move. I have an overwhelming urge to turn to him and kiss him.

~~~~~~~~~~

I can’t stop thinking about Jake. He is the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I go to bed. Over the past few weeks, I feel like he has become a lot more touchy, which don’t really mind. He smiles for a little longer when we eat together. We have slept in each others room a lot more often than before. I may just be over analyzing it.

Jake is going out with Jay again. As usual, I don’t plan on him coming home tonight, and I will wake up to a hungover Jake. Jay isn’t really the friend to take care of you when you feel ill, so that responsibility is left on me.

I hate to admit, but when Jake isn’t home for a night, I fight the urge to sleep in his bed. I have been sleeping in his bed with him so often that it leaves me in withdrawal when we aren’t in the same bed.

Just being in his room, his scent diffused in the air, it makes me miss him so much more. Even without thinking about the fact that it is his room, the bed is so much more comfortable than mine, which is all the better reason to sleep there.

I walk in, already in my shorts and t-shirt, and wonder around. He has the picture of us that his mom took when we were first leaving for Korea framed on his nightstand.

I pick it up and examine it closely. It is the one photo where we didn’t appear stiff. I remember the day clearly; I was standing with him, grinning broadly. I never expected to smile so much when I was young, but my memories of our trip leave a bright happy feeling inside my stomach.

I set the photo back down and I lift the blanket from the corner of the bed. I slide into the bed, laying on his side like I usually do when he isn’t here. I instantly melt into the sheets. I scroll on my phone whilst fighting my eyelids to stay awake, but eventually I fall asleep prematurely.

Jake usually keeps his room pretty cool, which calls for cuddling closely under the blankets. In the middle of my sleep, I am shot awake when my cold limbs are instantly warmed by an unexpected sensation. Why was Jake home?

Jake continues to get comfortable under the blanket, not even batting an eye at the fact that I was just sleeping in his bed. I pull him closer by his waist to fulfill the rest of the warmth that my body craves.

“Why are you shivering sweetheart, you could have turned on the heater.” he worries.

“I wanted the temperature to be tolerable when you got back in the morning” such a stupid explanation. “Speaking of, why are you here right now? what happened to Jay’s?” I questioned, completely forgetting how we got into this situation in the first place.

“Jay was feeling ill so we called it a night pretty early, I only got three shots down.”

Jake runs a lazy finger over my hip bone and leans in to nuzzle the crook of my neck. Shit. He’ll notice the way I react to his touches and I won’t be able to explain myself. Fuck.

“I thought I would come to my room and catch up on sleep but look what we have here instead” he says with that stupid smirk on his face.

“Oh- oh I’m sorry.” I slowly pull away from him to make way back to my room. “No babe, please don’t go, I want you to stay” he begs while keeping our fingers latched to keep our extended arms together. He then latched his hand around my wrist to slowly pull me back down to his level on the bed. It’s all happening too fast. He uses the same hand to comb his fingers through the strands at the bottom of my hair on the back of my head, and keeps his hand there entangled. He uses his hand to guide my head into a sensual kiss. He gently pressed his lips against mine. So plump, so dreamy. I reciprocated the kiss instantly, matching his pace and moving our lips in sync so perfectly. The way our lips intertwined so naturally gave me actual chills.

After giving me what I have dreamt about for years, he pulls away, leaving a string of saliva to connect our lips. He looks into my eyes, his pupils as voids. “Please stay” he whispers again. I nod dumbly, my brain still short circuiting as Jake bites is bottom lip. He’s so fucking beautiful, my eyes are practically burning holes into his lips.

His fingers gently run over my cheekbone, lingering on my jawline, tracing along my nose. “How did I ever deserve someone as beautiful as you?” he murmurs. His voice is full of admiration and love and affection. He trails his fingers along my jaw, pausing to lightly graze my collar bone, making goosebumps erupt across my skin. The heat radiating off Jake’s body is practically burning me alive.

Without thinking about it for a second longer, I close the gap between our lips again. We moved in sync, in harmony. It feels like my lips were only made to kiss his. He rests his free hand on the side of my face and uses it as grip to deepen the kiss. Kissing him I had a sense of saftey. The longer our lips were together, the more open I was to his attempts at adding tongue into the mixture. It was a sloppy wet mess, but is all I have ever wanted.

I slide my hand between out warm bodies and feel across his obvious bulge in his boxers. He instantly let out a groan when I took his imprint into my palm. I stroked it gently as we continued with intertwined tongues. His grunts and breathlessness was insanely arousing.

It was clear that we were both extremely sleepy. After a few more minutes of kissing, we eventually pulled away, with no words spoken.

I try my best to hold in my moans as the warmness travels up my body like lava. He stops tracing my collarbone to trail his hands up the side of my body, stopping to stroke a line of soft kisses along the side of my neck.

My hands grasp tightly at the material covering Jake’s shoulder blades and I use that leverage to get back under the blankets with him. We both face eachother, with our legs crossing randomly over one another. He once again rests his head in the crook of my neck, leaving a kiss like he did once before. Only this time, I know his true intention.

~~~~~~~~~

The fall semester is starting back up again. Junior year, both is our schedules are jammed packed with upper division classes. Having to balance so many classes and still having to work to keep up with the bills for the house, Jake and I hardly see each other. Even though I love spending every single day with him, I feel like I’m living with a ghost whenever I see his empty seat. When I wake up every morning to find him gone, my heart starts to ache. It hurts knowing that we might not spend as much time together. I know that the sooner that this semester ends, the easier everything will be.

The end of the semester wasn’t going to be soon though, it’s barely September. I’ve decided to try and set a study date with Jake and make sure nothing was overlapping the times. We eventually agreed apon Thursday night after he got off of his afternoon job. Maybe around 8 o’clock. I was getting a head start on my Statistics work before he showed up because I knew it would take me a while. He eventually showed up close to 8:30.

I had my headphone covering my ears, shoulders slumped over my desk, and he comes up behind me and take my shoulders in his hands and sensually massages. “Ah thank youuuu~~~ my muscles are tight” I jumped at the unexpected pressure. He drives his thumbs a little bit deeper into my blades and slides his straight arms down my stomach for a hug. “I missed you” he griped with puppy dog eyes, resting his head on my shoulder. I take off my headphone and hold both of his forearms and pull him deeper into this awkwardly positioned hug.

After a few seconds he pulls away and grabs out his bag with his laptop, and runs to his room to grab his chair to pull up next to mine. I was still seated, watching, unable to take my eyes off him. He settles himself and puts the laptop on his knees in front of him. He opens his notebook, and turns the page to the worksheet for this month. My fingers naturally find their way to his back and scratch gently while he looks over his work. They made their way up his clothed back and into his hair and I ran them through this tangled hair. He let out a sigh of fufillment and he allows himself self to close his eyes to fully take in the relaxing feeling. He breaths in deeply and slowly, taking in my coconut scent.

“Fuck it” he says under his breath.

He turns in my directed and crashed his lips into mine with no hesitation. He wraps his arms around my neck, deepening the kiss. I was startled at the quick change in plans but my lips soon melted into his and I was under his control. My tongue dances along his bottom lip, asking for entrance as he obliges and gives access. He lifts me from my chair and pulls me over to straddle his thighs.

He guides his lips to mine again, running his hands down my back as he pushes me lower into his lap. I wrap my legs slightly around his waist for some sense of support. The sensual make out and lap straddling goes on and on, until he breaks away slightly to speak, “You can move if you want sweetheart”.

He reconnects our lips and I find myself needing any sort of friction to ease the pressure building between my legs. Subconsciously grinding my core over his thigh slowly. I bite down on his lower lip causing him to suck on my tongue immediately as a response. God, he tastes so good, like the cocoa butter lip balm I got him for his birthday.

I continue grinding over his thighs picking up the aggressiveness, as he continues to run his hands through my hair. “Feeling desperate, darling?” he teases, smirking as he tries to pull me back into a kiss. “Shut up” I harden my fist and hit the front of his shoulder. He always finds a way to tease me. He chuckles as we connect our lips once again.

He slides both of his hands under my thighs stands up from his chair, and I wrap my legs around his body as he carries me to the bed. He slowly lays me down on my back with my legs still wrapped around his waist. He doesn’t break the kiss but as soon as he sets me down, I can feel his erection bulging through his pants rubbing against me sweet spot. We stop kissing momentarily as he looks at me, with lust filled eyes. He lets one of his hands rest on my chest, while the other traces along the side of my neck to my chin, tilting my head upward and pressing his forehead against mine. “Look at how gorgeous you are right now,” he says with pure adoration. “I can’t help myself when I’m with you.” A sudden surge of desire hits me and my hands grip his hips tighter as he starts to trail kisses on my jawline. I can feel an undeniable wetness spreading in my panties. I am becoming desperate.

I placed my hands at the bottom of his shirt and began lifting it up, but he finished the job and lifted it over his head and threw it to the side. I have seen Jake shirtless a million times over but this time is different. It feels more intimate than the last ones I have seen. I felt my throat tighten as my eyes were drawn to his chest which looked absolutely flawless. “So beautiful” I whisper and I trace my fingers over his abs and chest. His body looks perfectly carved and sculpted by a god. “It’s all for you, baby” he cooed.

I reach my arms around his back and gently dig my nails into his skin as he continues to kiss me. He grabs the bottom of my shirt and pulls it over my head, revealing my breasts. I wasn’t wearing a bra since I had been home all afternoon, and I definitely wasn’t expecting this. As soon as he sees them, he takes one of them in his hand. He holds my right breast in his palm and gently rubs it between his thumb and index finger.

His gaze remains focused on my chest as his mouth begins to travel down, taking his time to enjoy each and every piece of my body. He stops to give me another kiss before placing his lips on my nipple. He sucks on my nipple whilst his teeth nipped at my flesh, causing me to moan lowly. I grabbed his hair pulling him closer to me. I grind my pelvis onto his dick, eliciting a groan and he removes his mouth, making a ‘pop’ sound, to look at his next target intensely. He took my other breast into his mouth, swirling his tongue around my nipple and softly sucking, making me arch my back and having a moan escape my lips. Jake trails his hands down my waist while keeping his mouth latched to me.

His fingers went into the top of my sweatpants and I stopped him. “I have never done this before” I admitted. “Do you want me to stop?” he questions. How could I ever want him to stop? He is the only person I have ever imagined losing my virginity to. That aside I simply answer “No, Jakey, I trust you”

He continues to pull me pants down and off my legs and throws it to the side like he did with the other articles of clothing. He licks up my neck and comes to my ear. “I have never done this either, we can learn together” he whispered. Hearing this made my noticibly more wet, the way he whispers into my ear raises every single hair on my body. The thought of us having our first times with each other made this whole so much more meaningful and made me a lot less hesitant.

The only thing I have left on are my black panties and Jake looks like he is a man with a mission. I grab his bulge through his jeans and gently massage. He becomes a groaning mess as I palm his desperate tip. He is barely even able to keep his lips a decent distance apart for me to kiss him. “Fuuuck your hand feels so good” I take my other hand to start unbuckling his jeans, which he seems to have no problem with.

I pulled the belt off and unbuttoned his jeans and pulls them down, to where he took them all the way off. All he has left is his boxers. I can clearly see the imprint of he large cock through the thin fabric. I furrowed my eyebrows. “Does it look too big?, we can stop now if we need to” he questioned, seeing the fear on my face. I gulped and said “No, I can take it.”

I continued stroking through his boxers and he moved my panties to the side and rubbed gently on my folds. I gasped at the feeling. The better it started to feel, the less and less I was able to focus on Jake and more on myself. He had me wrapped around his finger. No amount of masturbating could compare to the way he is making me feel within these few minutes.

He slid his fingers down my clit and inserted one. He pumped it in and out until I felt that I was ready for more. Then 2. It hurt a little more but I slowly got used to it. He leaned his head down while his fingers still stuffed me and started leaving kisses on my clit. For having so little experience, he worked his finger and tongue like a professional. The way his tongue danced across my sensitive bud made my body shutter, and I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.

“I love the sounds of your whimpers” he moaned against my clit teasing me. I couldn’t even respond. My breathing quickened, and the more his fingers fucked me, the more I could tell how wet I was getting. I whimpered again and I gripped his hair signaling how good he was making me feel. “It tastes just as sweet as I imagined” he praised. He has imagined this before? What else has he imagined?

His fingers slowed down and he slipped two inside of me simultaneously. My hips bucked up and I let out a small gasp, my nails digging into his shoulders. He continued working his fingers inside of me. He was eating like a man who hadn’t seen a meal in a week.

“I want to taste you now.” I protest, pulling his face up for a kiss. His eyes look like he is drunk as his tongue swirled with mine and he gave me a slow deep kiss. He sucked on my bottom lip, then bit me, and finally opened his mouth and licked my tongue with his. He pulls away and allows me to pull his boxers past his hips and onto the ground. His dick sprung out. God, it was a lot thicker than I imagined.

I take the base of it and put my lips against the tip, swirling my tongue around. His muscular hand combs through the top of my hair and gently grips it as I begin to take more of his length in my mouth. I could feel it sliding smoothly in and out of my throat. His grip on my hair tightens and he guides me to take more in moderation. “God yes baby, that’s it” he encouraged. I looked up at him, the room filled with breathy moans and he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. I felt the waves of his voice vibrating through my lips as he spoke, causing goosebumps to erupt across my entire body. I could feel my juices flowing through my pussy and down my belly.

I continue sucking him until he is almost completely buried inside my mouth. He leans down placing his lips beside my ear. “I don’t think I can hold out much longer” he whispers, making me smile.

He slowly pulls himself out of my mouth and lifts me back onto the bed. I use my arms to cover my chest, I am a little nervous. He leans down and kisses me on the forehead. “Don’t hide yourself, you look perfect darling” he said proceeding to take my tongue in his mouth. God this man loves using his tongue. I have never felt this type of intimacy before, and to think I am covering that ground with my bestfriend, was not how I thought it was going to go to say the least.

He brushes his tip in between my folds, spreading my wetness around. “Are you sure you want to keep going? We can stop here, just say the words and I will stop” “Please keep going” I am practically begging. He seems to enjoy my obvious desperation. He guide the tip in slowly, trying not to overwhelm me. He goes in a little deeper. I wince in pain. “Ah baby go a little slower” I pleaded. I didn’t want him to stop but it was definitely starting to hurt. He held the same spot for a few more seconds, then slowly pushed more in. I have gotten used to the stinging, as it slowly turns to pleasure.

“Shit princess, you’re so fucking tight” Jake praises. He was getting lost in his own world since he has never felt a warm pussy wrapped aroung his dick before, especially not one like mine. I felt his tip hit the enterance of my cervix. He bottomed out. He didn’t move. He didn’t even want to move, he was just enjoying the moment of his cock being buried deep inside his bestfriend. “You ok babe?” he asked, concerned by the lack of movement from me. “Yeah, just give me a second” I replied, attempting to get myself under control.

I began to relax, letting the warmth envelop my entire body. I signal that his is able to move. He slowly pulls his cock out of my cunt, and immediately pushes it back in. He rests both of his arms next to my face and comes down to kiss me. I can see the faint beads of sweat forming on his forehead. “You do not know how long I have been wanting to do this” He whispered into my ear. Once again, Jakes words send a tingle down my spine. He instantly latched himself onto my neck, sucking harshly while still keeping a slow pace down below. I grip his brown head of hair as he leaves purple marks on my skin, bruising my neck. He pulls out and goes back in, this time at a consistent rate.

Our torsos are in complete contact and he sets both of his hands under my back. I wrap my legs around his waist to allow him deeper access, which he so desperately needed. His lips were locked with mine. Our tongues were dancing along with each other as well as our chests. Every time he would suck on my lower lip, I moan against his lips.

“This is what I have been dreaming about” He says breaking away and kissing my nose. He finds me comfortable with his picking up the pace, and he did with no hesitation. He nuzzles into my neck with his hair partially resting on my face. There was no pain left to feel and my whole body was washed over with pleasure. His length fit so perfectly into my warm cunt, like we were make to only fuck eachother.

Jake head still right next to mine, I turn my head and whisper “Jakey, it feels so gooood~~~~” with inconsistency in my breathing. Jake’s ears were pleasured as if he were listening to his favorite song. He slowed down the pace, only to drive his dick deeper into my swollen cunt with each thrust. “Oh my god it’s feels so fucking good, you taking my cock like this.” he whines in my ear. He pulls away from my neck and just watching himself fuck into my pussy.

There was so much sweat on his face it was so fucking hot. It was dripping off his chin and onto my shoulder and neck. His hair was starting to get wet. He took both of my legs over his shoulders, making sure to maintain eye contact. Each stroke was deeper and deeper. Faster and faster. He was getting desperate. I don’t know how much more my inexperienced pussy can handle. He takes his thumb and gently rubs my clit. Ugh, I have never felt this sort of sensation before, being fucked at the same time.

My moans became more uncontrollable and my legs started to close in. “Fuckkkkk Jakey I am about to cum” I am on the verge of tears, overstimulated with pleasure. The pressure on my clit mixed with the repeated abuse of my cervix was enough to drive me over the edge. “Mmmmm yes doll, cum on my cock” he says lowly. My walls tighten around him and my hips are shaking. My heart is beating at 1000bpm, not a coherent thought left in my fucked-dumb mind. He practically has to pry my legs apart to maintain access to my slit. He holds my hips in place as he gives me a few more strokes. His became less and less powerful.

Once he felt his orgasm coming, he quickly pulled out of me, letting out a loud groan, and shot his strings of white cum all over my tummy and chest. The room was filled with loud pants and the scent of sex. “You are all I have ever wanted” I reach up to tuck his hair behind his ear, not minding the fact that his face was soaked. We rest our foreheads together and rub our noses across each other as we both try to catch our breath.

After a second of recovery, He runs to the bathroom and grabs a rag to clean me up. I could barely move my body, my entire entity was more than sore. It hurt to move, all I could do is lay there. Jake returns with a cold washcloth, and starts wiping off my stomach. “Do you need help getting cleaned up babe?” he asks, sitting down beside me, his arm around my naked torso. “Could we take a bath together?” I suggested.

A bath together after the fact is far more intimate, and could give us some time to talk things over. “Of course” and smiles. “I can go get it set up right now, darling, you just rest for a few minutes” He gives me a kiss on the nose and forehead before heading to run the faucet.

~~~~~~~~~~

I don’t know how I could let this happen. I lay on my bed rerunning all of the events writhing the last hour in my head. I really don’t know why we both allowed it to go that far. I admit, I loved every second of it, but now that it’s over, we have to deal with the effects.

Jake comes back from running the faucet. He looks tired. Maybe a bath is something we both need. “Come here sweetheart” he brings a towel and sets it on the counter.

The bathroom mirror was completely fogged over. “Are you trying to make soup out of us?” I said jokingly. “I know you like taking your showers hot, so I thought maybe it would be the same for baths” he chuckled.

I dip my toes into the half full tub. Jake was right, the temperature was just how I liked it. I held onto his shoulder as I submerge my other foot. The water lapped over the rim of the bath tub.

I keep hold onto his hand so he can guide himself into the tub, taking a lot more balance and tolerance for him to try to get used to the boiling water. “God damn, you like it hot hot” he teases though I can see him furrowing his eyebrows at the heat.

“Oh don’t be such a baby” I tease him right back. He pouts playfully. I love seeing that kind of reaction from him. “I don’t mind” he mumbles in embarrassment, trying to hide the smile on his face.

Once his feet were able to get used to the water, we both slowly sat the rest of our bodies into the tub. Jakes hair is a mess, it’s going in all different directions. I reach out to tuck some of it behind his ears for him, and then cup his face in my palm. I stroke his cheek with my thumb. He tilts his head, there he goes with those irresistible puppy dog eyes again.

“What’s wrong baby?” he asks. I remain in eye contact with him. “Were you being serious? When you said you have dreamt about… that…?”

He’s silent. So much blood rushing to his face his cheeks are like strawberries. He scratched the back of his head. “I mean yeah… why wouldn’t I” he hesitated.

“I mean look at you, you are insanely attractive and we live together and have known each other forever. Of course my mind is going to wonder. It has wondered many more times than I would like to admit.” he explained himself.

Unintentionally, our bodies kept inching towards each other in that bath. I am some how a mere 6 inches away from his face. “Why haven’t you ever told me how you felt?”

“Because I was scared on how it would change our friendship”…. he had the exact same fear as I did. He was also afraid of losing one of his best friends. “If I tell you how I feel, you might think it’s weird or something” he whispers into my ear. “No I will understand, we have known each other our whole lives. How would it be weird?” I say softly.

He hesitates once again, and I can hear his heart start to pound. He closes the gap between us and rests his forehead on mine. “There is so much you don’t know” He breathes, still looking deep into my eyes. His words caused a flicker of anxiety inside of me. “There is so much I want to know about you, darling” I reassure.

“Well for starters I never thought this thing between us would become anything more than just friends” he confesses. It is hard for him to admit such things, but he has to show me that I matter more than he thinks. “It scares me, and I’m sorry that I let it go too far. I guess it’s because I’ve been waiting so long, and everything has changed so fast” he explained, he still had this worried look on his face like I were going to shut everything down. Everything had changed so fast.

“You have to stop worrying so much about me. You can trust me, okay? I’ll never judge or hate you or think any differently of you. All I want is for us to enjoy our first time together and enjoy each other. I have never seen anyone as beautiful as you are to me”. I caress his face with my hands.

A small smile graces his features while he gazes back into my eyes. I lean forward and capture him in a long passionate kiss. Our lips moving in sync, tasting each others taste as if it was our first time doing it. We pull away and stare at each other. He places both of his palms on either side of my face, leaning in even closer. I place my lips in line with his.

My fingers run through his soaked hair, though I don’t know if it use from sweat or from water. “Jakey, if I am going to be honest, I have been feeling the same way. On nights where we don’t sleep in the same bed, I find myself getting less sleep and craving your warmth. I don’t regret anything that’s happened between us tonight. Admittedly, I have been wanting to do that with you for so long” I started ranting.

“When you were making love to me I felt like I was floating away and it felt so good I just wanted to stay here forever, like nothing else mattered. There wasn’t anything I wanted more than to stay in this moment forever with you, but we both know that isn’t possible.” he continues, his voice cracking.

“Making love?” I chuckle. Such an interesting word choice. “Be quiet” he pushes back. “I’m just joking, but I agree”

He was clearly getting tired, letting out a yawn and fighting the force of his eyelids trying to close. “We should get to bed” I suggest. We soak the last few moments of the now comfortably hot water and get out of the tub. “You better not get water all over the floor, Jake” HE ALWAYS DOES THAT.

He grabs a towel for me and and one for himself and he wraps mine around my whole body width and pulls me for a hug. “I am glad we took a bath together sweetheart, try to get some rest” he whispers, and leaves an innocent kiss on my forehead.

~~~~~~~~~~

The next few weeks consisted of school, work, and sleeping in the same bed with Jake pretty much every single night. We would exchange passionate kisses and I would bathe him when he was too tired from work or hanging out with Jay. And he would do the same for me. We never went as far to have sex again. We weren’t scared but we felt like we should wait.

We are on our way back to Australia for fall break. Jake will finally get to see his parents and I will get to see mine. We get to have a whole week without having to worry about responsibilities. Which I know both of us desperately need. We touch down in Australia around maybe 3pm on the first Saturday of the break. We only brought carry on luggage for convenience and time.

“Have everything?” He questioned me as we were getting out of our seats. “I think so” I smile, so excited to see my parents. We arranged for Jake’s mom to pick us up from the airport. She had a large SUV able to fit all of our stuff comfortably. Once we passed through all of the security and customs, Jake calls her to see where she is parked. On speaker I hear her say “9 rows down from the south enterance” she explains. “Thanks mom, see you in a sec” Jake says about to hang up the phone. “Thank you Mrs Sim” I make sure she hears before he presses the red button.

We hurry to get out of the packed airport so meet up with his mom. The weather was cold and misty and it was hard to see. When we finally arrived outside the south enterance, we could hardly believe what we saw. Layla comes up running at full sprint in me and Jake’s direction. She jumped up onto bother of us, layering our faces and arms with slobbery licks and he tail wagging so hard it may as well had fallen off.

Once Layla was all calmed down we put our luggage into the trunk. We swing up the door and the vehicle seems oddly empty. “Where is dad?” Jake questioned his mom. “He is getting worse…. he wasn’t able to make it today, I had to take him back to the hospital last night” she explained. I could already see the heart break in his eyes. “Oh” We packed everything up and his mom offered for me to sit in the front seat. Honestly, I wanted to sit in the back seat and comfort Jake, so I made up the excuse that Layla should sit in the front.

The mood in the car ride home was off. I don’t know if it was from the weather or his fathers health but Jake was not as energetic as he was before. I know he doesn’t deserve everything happening to his dad so I will just try to support him through it.

~~~~~~~~~~

I never really gave it much thought, but the more I put the pieces together, I think maybe the reason Jake is so insistent on getting black out drunk with Jay on the weekends may have to do with his father.

Jake has never in his life had a healthy coping mechanism. I remember a lot through out grade school, he would feel guilty or take blame for things that were not his fault, just to mediate the situation. When he did this, he did not react to the discipline very well, but it seems like he would much rather face conveniences than to start an argument over the original problem.

Jake let a lot of people take advantage of him, and it is still something that we have to work on, but knowing the situation with his dad, I know he has a lot more things to worry about now that usual.

Many of the people excluding his parents are alcoholics, any family event we went to together, the main thing being passed around was a bottle. When we were younger, things made him build resentment towards them but the older we got, the more willing he was to try alcohol, only adding more and more each time until he is where he is at now.

Jay isn’t the type of friend to stop this behavior either. I will never understand why Jake is such good friends with him cause he never seems to have the best intentions or good interest in mind. I can’t be the one to tell him that they should stop being friends cause at the end of the day, Jake’s relationship with alcohol won’t be healed in a split second.

~~~~~~~~~~

Nothing really eventful happened over the span of the after noon, the rain put everything to a halt. I slept in the guest bed in Jake’s house for the first night but was unable to fall asleep for the majority of the night. Jake’s mom rushed into the room around 1:30 am.

“Hey are you awake? We have to go the hospital, it’s my husband. Please wake up Jake while I grab the keys” She said with an extremely shaken voice full of urgency. I shoot out of the bed and put my shorts back on and practically run down the hallway to Jake’s room. It is locked. I bang on the door frantically. “Jake! Jake get up now we have to go” I echo through the door. Quickly after he swings open his door with his shirt in his hand, in the middle of putting it on.

The SUV was already started when we got out the front door and we ran to get into the car and soon as we sat down she reversed and tried to explain. “He slipped into a coma. They said they are trying everything to get him to wake up but they have no idea why it happened because he was in decent shape before” she says with tears forming in her eyes.

I reach up to the front seat to scratch her shoulder to try and calm her. I don’t think there is anything someone can do in this situation to calm someone in this much distress down but I tried. She is going dangerously fast down the highway. I know that she has been working hard to keep them afloat and thing we’re starting to get better. After that I couldn’t stand to listen anymore and closed my eyes hoping that by some miracle she wouldn’t end up killing us.

After what seemed like hours we reached the hospital and were quickly taken to another private room where we could talk with him alone. Of course his dad wasn’t going to be able to say anything. But Jake still wanted him to listen. He took his fathers hand a caressed his palm with his fingers while he said what he needed to say. Once he was done, I gave Jake a hug as his red face were completely covered in tears.

“He will be okay, I promise” I reassured him. We walked out of the room to discover his mom sitting next to the window, face completely void of emotion. He hasn’t spoken a word since we have gotten here.

“You know…. he was really excited for you both to come back. He was practically counting down the days” she admitted, wiping a tear from here eye. “I was so excited with him” she added. Her words shatter my heart. How is she not screaming in anger right now. Angry at the world for doing this to her innocent husband. That was something I admired about her. She was always able to contain her emotions well, almost too well.

Seeing both her and Jake in this state was absolutely terrible. I knew it would only take a miracle to fix this given his dads condition. “It’ll all be okay, Jake, don’t cry” I assure him. “It won’t, how am I supposed to deal with this? How am I supposed to go back to school without seeing him, talking to him… it hurts” “There is still a chance that he will make it Jake, don’t give up on it. I know he wants you to wait for him”

He couldn’t say anything, all he could do was bury his face into my shoulder and sob. He tried to form words, but they were only choked noises which caused him to cry even harder. “Shh its okay, I am here” I assure him. Me, Jake and his mom spent the night in the hospital. His mom slept in the room with his dad and me and Jake slept in a guest waiting room. Well, I was the only one who was able to get some sleep. Jake was up all night worrying about his father. I could hear him crying as I were trying to fall asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~

A few weeks had passed and his fathers condition remained the same, and to be honest, Jake and his mom seemed like they kind of accepted that this was the way that things were going to be.

We were back at the house, his mom would just go to work and lock herself in her room until she had to go to work again and Jake and I were preparing to go back to Korea for the Winter semester.

Mrs Sim did not want to see us leave, and she made it very clear. We were her last hope with everything going on with her husband. I really wish me and Jake could stay back to support her but we have jobs and bills that we have to get back to, and life can’t just pause for us. We promised we would let her know how we are feeling, how much we missed each other and everything else that went along with saying goodbye.

We leave in 3 days, and we made it our mission to hang out with his mom as much as we could before we left. She hasn’t taken a break either… no time to her self she just has to keep working to pay for the house and the piling medical bills.

Those last few days, we took Mrs. Sim out for lunch at her favorite Thai restaurant. She seemed to genuinely smile for the first time in weeks as we joked and reminisced about times when all 4 of us were together. One night, we rented some classic movies she loved and made her favorite snacks. We cuddled up on the couch, enjoying the familiar feeling of just being together as a family again, if only briefly.

Jake and I helped around the house as much as we could - running errands, doing yard work, and cooking meals to give his mom a little respite. We made sure to soak in every moment because we didn't know when we'd all be together like that again.

~~~~~~~~~~

When it came time for our early morning departure back to Korea, Mrs. Sim took us both in for a tight hug, her eyes brimming with tears. "Take care of each other," she whispered hoarsely.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ Jake grabs our suitcases out of the trunk and his mom pulls me to the side.

“Please promise to take care of him for me. You have always been a safe place for him, I can only imagine how he has been feeling” she begged. I held bother of her hands in the palms of mine. “I promise, Mrs Sim, I will do everything in my power to take care of him, don’t worry. You have other things to worry about” I reassure her pulling her into a hug.

Layla climbs through the back of the car from the front seat and jumps out of the trunk to say good bye, jumping all over me and Jake just like when we first arrived. “Yes you’re such a good girl” he scruffs up her ears while giving her a kiss on the forehead. I gave Layla some belly rubs before his mom guided her back into the car.

“Please text me when you board, and call me when you land, I need to know that the two of you are safe.” said his mom. “Of course” we pulled her into one last hug. “I love you guys” she sobbed “I love you too” we said in unison as we walked towards to enterance, leaving his mom in the parking lot.

~~~~~~~~~~

The ride back home was hard for Jake. 10 hours of restlessness. The only time I saw Jake act kind of okay was at our layover in Manila. I tried to leave him be for most of the trip.

-

We landed at the airport in Seoul and made our way back through customs and immigration, I swear the process of getting out of the airport is more stressful than planing a trip itself. We load our things into my car, missing the excitement that Layla brought to the car ride.

Before we got into the car, Jake comes behind me and turns me around into a hug. “I am really worried about her… my parents have been together for so long I can’t imagine how she would react with out him” he cried into my arms. “Your mom is a strong woman, I know it. She has you and I know she will be able to get through it.” I rub his back and lay my head into the crook of his neck.

I walk him over to his door and open it, letting him get into is and rest, we still had a 45 minute drive back to our place. I just let him ‘rest’ his eyes the whole way and I sat in silence trying not to wake him. The ride was bumpy, or maybe I was more aware of my surroundings not given that Jake wasn’t talking my ear off the whole time. I don’t mean it as a bad thing but he does a great job at keeping me company in the car. But that element was absent this time.

We were outside of our house quicker than expected. Jake was still fast asleep, he looked up he most peaceful than I have seen him these past few weeks I really did not want to wake him up. “Jakey we’re here” I whisper and gently grip his shoulder. He groans. He untucks his arms from under his shirt and rubs his eyes, trying to adjust to the light.

We make way up to the door, he didn’t bother grabbing anything out of the car but I was completely okay with grabbing everything if it meant he would get some rest. As soon as we stepped in the door, he took off his shoes and hurried to his bedroom, he didn’t ever bother changing his clothes before plopping onto his bed in pure exhaustion.

I found myself following him to the bed and sitting on the edge and grazing his back with my fingernails. My hands made way up to his hair and I combed his strands with my fingers. He turns over to lay on his back and I sit and admire his beautiful face while his eyes are closed. So peaceful. I couldn’t fight the urge to lean down and give his a soft peck before heading back to the car.

He didn’t seem to mind, his lips were soft as they instantly melted into mine for a few seconds. He didn’t seem supprised or shocked at all. He made it feel natural. “Thank you” he said, barely audible. I leaned in for another kiss, a smile building on my face as our lips met. No verbal response was needed, my smile against his spoke for itself.

~~~~~~~~~~

We had gotten back into our normal work and school schedule following the break. I still was not seeing Jake as much as I would like and it seems like I was getting less and less information by the day on his dad, which worried me. I tried to call Mrs Sim every single day to check in and get updates, as well as update her on mine and Jake’s life. She treated me like a friend. Like a daughter. I am very thankful to be accepted by her in that way.

Jake was clearly getting more stressed with work and school and I couldn’t figure out a way to ease the stress for him, all I could do was hope that it wouldn’t end up being too much.

Mrs Sim told me briefly once while we were on a phone call that me and her call way more often that her and Jake do. Jake has always been a texter and his Mom simply had to deal with not hearing her baby boys voice as often as she would like, which is why it was weird when me and Jake were laying in my bed around 11pm and his phone starts ringing.

Both of us were on the verge of falling asleep and the light from his phone screen made the situation more uncomfortable. At first Jake just reached over and turned off the ringer.

“Hey did you even see who it was? What if it was important” I question his instinct to end the call. “Fine let me look” he groans.

He reached over and grabs his phone and looks at the screen ‘Mom’ is what it read. “Answer it!” I urged him. Jake was hesitant. I think he thought that this was going to be the call, which he has been preparing to avoid at all costs.

Instead of letting the line go to voicemail, I snatch the phone out of his hand and answer if myself. “Hello Mrs Sim, is everything alright?”

“I am so glad to hear your voice. Is Jake around? It is important. Put it on speaker” she said.

“You’re on speaker” I informed her.

“Jake, your father is home, I picked him up about an hour ago. The doctor said that septic shock caused him to go into the coma, and they were able to treat the infection and keep him steady with some blood and IV fluids. He woke up yesterday and has shown no signs of complication ever since. I will take him back in a few days for testing and a check up. They saved him Jake… They saved him.” His mother explained ecstatically, crying tears of happiness.

Jake’s face immediately lit up, with what I could see from the light of the phone screen. He instantly started crying.

“Baby I wish you were here right now. he misses you so much” he claimed.

Jake couldn’t even speak through his tears and his hitched breathing. “I love you so much mom, tell dad I love him and I will see him soon”

He sets the phone down and buries his face into my chest, letting out full on sobs. the toll that this situation has taken on his body physically and mentally was very obvious and I know he has been wanting good news.

~~~~~~~~~~

Weeks had passed and we came back to Australia for the Winter break. Jake was more excited than ever. When he saw his dad get out of the car at the airport, I had never see Jake run so fast in my life. Their hug seemed like it was out of a movie and he had been latched to his dad everyday since being back at his house.

His parents kind of picked up on me and Jake’s relationship, and didn’t question why I was wanting to sleep in Jake’s room and not the guest room any more.

We were laying there facing each other, admiring each others beauty in the dim moon light shining through the blinds.

“Tell me Jake, do you believe in fate?” I questioned lowly.

He looks somewhat startled. “Y’know, I have never really thought about that. After everything that has happened this year, I think I would say that I do” he confirmed, stroking my cheek with his thumb.

“Yeah I think I do too”

[sotteoks]

Fresh Meat | 🔞

──★ ˙pairing: Wonho aka Lee Hoseok x Fem!Reader ──★ ˙word count: 7.9k ──★ ˙summary: adjusting to the modern world as a centuries old vampire has been mostly easy for you. however, you can’t recall the last time you’ve had a meal that makes you want to go back for seconds. ──★ ˙contents: gymrat!wonho duh, vampire!reader, SMUT

warnings below the cut!

──★ ˙warnings: very very brief mentions of substance use, p*rn with just a crumb of a plot, biting, mentions of blood, switch!wonho, oral (m receiving), handjob, light overstimulation, fingering, squirting, mating press position, unprotected sex + creampie, please let me know if i missed anything ! ⸜ (｡˃ ᵕ ˂) ⸝

Searching the streets just for a fix. It’s demeaning, depressing and outright pathetic. But it is the price you must pay for becoming complacent and thinking that the hospital wouldn’t cut you off at some point with how much of a glutton you’ve become since finding out that in the city, money and influence is the easiest way to get what you want. 

Three month waiting period for just a few pints of blood, my ass you bitterly muttered as you recalled your last visit. The hospital staff was lucky that you had some regard for human life or else you would have simply cleared the blood bank out and possibly killed their personnel for denying you. However, causing a commotion like that would mean risking being chased out of the country and you were just now getting adjusted to life here. 

In a superficial modern society with impossible beauty standards and an emphasis on being ‘healthy’ you thought that it would have been a breeze finding someone to feed on. Much to your dismay, a lot of the upper class social circle you had infiltrated was nothing but a bunch of people who only looked perfect on the outside but were practically decaying on the inside. Disgusted was an understatement for how you felt when you discovered that even those who had the means to eat the best foods in the world, access to top of the line healthcare and the best personal trainers were still such revolting sacks of flesh. They were nothing but a human version of the picturesque fruits you would come across in grocery stores, just to bite into them and find that they were tasteless or on the verge of rotting. 

The mere memory of your first time in an upscale nightclub is able to induce gagging as you recall the overwhelming stench of putrid blood best described as rusting nails soaked in vinegar and sulfur that surrounded you. A lack of nutrients in the name of trying to stay as thin as possible was the culprit. Substance use often sullied the taste of blood as well, but with the stresses of modern society you understood why people would turn to things like nicotine, alcohol, and the harder drugs to be able to feel okay. Blood from a person who was barely getting enough nutrients as is and used things such as nicotine or amphetamines to further stave off their appetite was sickening enough to send you into a rage. Yet it was something you had been coming across more and more frequently no matter where you ventured on this spinning blue marble called Earth. 

And oftentimes, it was what you would have to settle for if you wanted to stay alive. If you had known humanity would come to this, you would have let yourself die eons ago with your loved ones instead of wandering the Earth alone and outliving everyone you had ever grown fond of. 

Food is not only a source of energy and necessity for maintaining bodily function. It’s a part of culture and it has the capacity to make people happy. Much like the average human craves the joy of experiencing fine dining at some point in their life or has a favorite food they would like to indulge in, you found yourself craving the blood of someone who ate healthy, took care of their body and abstained from excessive substance use. With the decrease in accessibility to quality blood, the joy of feeding was gone therefore making staying alive feel like a chore. 

Letting your sense of smell be your guide rather than waste anymore time walking around aimlessly, your feet followed where your nose led them to. Walking through the city streets at night, there were tons of different scents to be picked up, most of them being unpleasant, but the smell of the finest blood is sweet enough to cut through it all. As you continued down the block, the smell would become overwhelmingly strong and outshine the stench of—must? 

Finally looking up, you find that your feet have carried you to a gym. One would think that the gym would have been an obvious place for you to lurk around if you wanted someone with tasty blood, but you had been around during the 1980s steroids boom—combine that with all the fad diets that had came and went, even the people who followed strict regimens in order to look like the epitome of physical health with their low body fat and high muscle percentage were just beefier versions of the rich, waifish looking socialites you called ‘friends’. 

Seeing that you weren’t dressed to go to the gym, you wouldn’t dare enter the premises out of fear of attracting unnecessary attention. Lingering around the outside, you’re able to peek through the glass doors and are surprised to see just how many people were exercising at the late hours. Even with enhanced senses, you couldn’t narrow down who had been the source of the delectable fragrance with just vision and there were still too many different scents in the area. Pacing back and forth, you contemplate if you have enough energy to utilize a different vampiric ability to lure out the person you were after. 

While lost in thought, the sound of footsteps approaching causes you to snap back into the present moment and panic as you realize just how out of place you must have looked. Examining your surroundings, you notice the nearby bus stop and dash to take a seat at the bench under the covered port. Listening closely for the footsteps, your acute hearing allows you to deduce that the person heading your direction was exiting the very gym you were lurking in front of. And it seems like Lady Luck is finally on your side as that sweet smell you were after was growing stronger as this person neared you. Despite this person still being at least twenty feet away, their scent intoxicates you and makes your stomach twist with this primal desire; truly testing your restraint. The delicious blend of such perfect, untainted blood with hints of sweat and remnants of this fresh scent— maybe from a shower earlier or from their laundry— has you practically salivating. Your hands had been casually resting atop your knees as you sat down but when you lower your head, you see your fingertips digging into your flesh as a means of relieving the tension in your body.  

Without even looking up you can feel them heading your direction, the heat radiating off their body and their pheromones taunting you as their scent is so overwhelming you could practically taste it. Forcing yourself to focus before they get any closer, you pick apart the notes of their natural perfume and decipher their profile; your target was male, late twenties to early thirties, and in nearly optimal physical health. You could sniff out a few deficiencies in some vitamins and minerals but in comparison to most you had come across, he was perfect to you. What made him even more ideal in your eyes is that you didn’t even have to exert any energy trying to lure him toward you; it was almost like some sort of natural magnetism had brought him your way.  All that was left for you to do was to seal the deal. 

“Hey, I know I’m a little sweaty but is it fine if I take the seat next to you?” A voice gently asks you, in contrast to the mildly intimidating shadow they cast over you. “I just did leg day and I’m starting to feel it already.”

“Oh, yeah, it’s fine.” You awkwardly reply as you try to regain composure before facing the stranger. Looking up, you catch sight of the boyishly charming face that doesn’t quite match the muscular body it’s attached to but nonetheless, he’s a sight for sore eyes and the appealing aesthetic is enough to cause you to perk up in excitement. “Are you a member of that gym?” you question in an attempt to keep conversation going despite already knowing the answer.

“Yeah, it’s one of the nicer gyms in the area.” He replies casually. “Since I didn’t see you in the gym, where are you coming from?”

You can’t help but smile at his naturally friendly disposition, knowing just how little effort it’ll be to get into his head when the time is right. Not only would you have a satisfying meal tonight, it was going to be as easy as taking candy from a baby. 

“I was looking for a treat at the cafe across the street.” You lie easily, gesturing to the aforementioned building. “But seeing the gym made me lose my appetite.” you add in with a small laugh. 

“I’ve thought about stopping by that place but it would defeat the purpose of me going to the gym.” The stranger laughs along with you, contributing to the lighthearted mood of the conversation between the two of you. 

Sensing that the bus was approaching soon, you now have to make the decision of how aggressively you want to pursue your meal. Should you slowly seduce him with natural charm or would it be better to eliminate any chances of him rejecting you?

“There’s nothing wrong with the occasional treat—especially if you have a good time burning off the calories.” You remark playfully, eyes catching his and carefully reading his expression; and maybe taking a peek into his soul and inner thoughts for the hell of it.

 Just as intended, he had registered your words as vaguely amorous and he was flustered over it. The desire to entertain the flirty conversation is there, but he’s a bit shy and you’ve temporarily left him at a loss for words. Oftentimes you had loathed being immortal for so long however, in this moment you’re thankful you had been around long enough to master the gift of telepathy or else you would have interpreted the handsome man’s lack of response as him being put off by your approach. 

“Maybe we can exercise together sometime.” He says, trying his best to keep cool. “My name is Hoseok, by the way.”

You tell him your name and manage to exchange contact information right before the bus arrives. Part of you had anticipated the two of you to part ways at this point and you actually would have to hijack control over the situation and take things into your own hands but much to your surprise, Hoseok seems to have no qualms about inviting you out for drinks at a bar near his place. You have to bite back a laugh at how absurdly easy he’s making things for you without even knowing it, making the prospect of feeding on him even more exciting for you. 

Without hesitating, you accept his invite; teasing him and questioning if it was common for him to ask strangers he meets at bus stops for drinks to which he’s only able to respond to with a sheepish laugh. Going along with your banter, he points out how quickly you agreed to spend time with him and you’re backed into a corner; briefly wondering if you should give another go at reading his thoughts. Ultimately, you decide against it in the name of conserving more energy and not wanting to risk bleeding him dry when you finally get your chance to sink your teeth into him. Such a fine piece of man, it’s hard for you to decide where you want to get your first taste. Lean muscle with a low body fat percentage meant biting into his flesh would have the perfect amount of tenderness and juiciness; the idea of it makes your tongue feel heavy in your mouth as you start salivating once more.

Your hunger is only exacerbated by the fact that the bus is packed despite the late hour, forcing you and Hoseok to be packed against each other like sardines. So many other bloodbags- bodies surround you in the small space but the only thing on your mind is him. Your senses desire only him; to smell him and to taste him mostly but touching him and even just looking at him is exciting in their own way. As you hungrily eye the bulky man standing in front of you while his gaze is elsewhere, you can’t help but wonder if he would even feel that much pain if you bit him. 

The bus braking aggressively after nearly zooming past a stop with one lone rider waiting causes a majority of the standing passengers to lose balance. 

You and Hoseok included. 

Stumbling slightly, you try to regain your hold on the handrail above your head only to have another passenger knock into you and cause your body to collide with Hoseok’s. Your first instinct is to mentally curse yourself for being so lost in your thoughts that your reflexes don’t kick in. The second thing that goes through your mind is losing your footing like that probably made you look more human anyway so it’s not something you should shame yourself for. And the third thing, perhaps the most maddening thought, is just how warm and sturdy Hoseok’s frame feels against yours. Time seems to slow down as one of his arms wrap around your shoulders in an almost protective manner as he asks if you’re alright. 

On the outside, you give him a small nod of reassurance but on the inside, you’re struggling to keep your cool as you practically feel drunk after getting that close to him. It took every fiber of your being to not sink your fangs into him when you landed face first into his chest. Without even realizing it, you had been trembling from just how excited the physical contact made you and Hoseok had interpreted it as you being cold so he pulled you in even closer. 

Your heart thuds against your chest so loud, you can barely hear Hoseok’s thoughts when you read them again. 

Something, something— maybe we should just skip the bar and drink at my place. 

The rest of his thoughts register to you as just a slurry of word soup with no real meaning because of your inability to focus. You’re so out of sorts just by being in his personal space, you accidentally leave the channel for telepathic communication open right as you think about just how much you crave him. 

Right after the thought is completed, you panic and realize he wasn’t meant to hear that; but after that slip up, you wonder if he’s even able to comprehend what just happened. You coyly peek at him through your lashes to gauge his expression but his eyes seem to be fixed on the streets outside of the window as he waits for the bus to arrive at his stop. As much as you desperately want to read his thoughts once more, you had already overdone it. Your body feels just a tad heavier as you let yourself lean further into Hoseok as a means of support, wishing that the trip was over already. Hunger and lust no longer seem like two separate emotions with each second that passes while you’re in his presence. All you want is to—

“Oh, this is our stop.” Hoseok finally says to you after what felt like ages of not speaking; but realistically it was closer to five minutes. The two of you make your way past the other riders and get off the bus, making you realize just how suffocated you felt being in such a small enclosed space with Hoseok’s scent tempting and teasing you. Finally being able to breathe in the cool, night air you’re able to think straight again. Or at least, gain as much clarity as you can with him still being in the vicinity.  

“Do you wanna skip the bar and just get some drinks from the convenience store then go back to your place?” You suggest, laying the charm on thick as you smile at him. 

And of course, since he had already considered this, he agrees. 

Finally getting back to his apartment, you’re encompassed by his fragrance and no longer have to worry about any repercussions of what could happen if you were to lose your grip. The first thing you notice after being invited in was the accent table in the entryway. Your eyes are drawn to the catchall bowl that sits atop it with a lone key fob inside. Just by the smell, you knew for sure Hoseok lived alone, so obviously the car key had to belong to him. But if that was the case, why would he take public transportation? The only logical assumption was that his car wasn’t working right and it was just fate for you to meet him tonight. 

“I’m gonna shower since I didn’t get to take one at the gym, is that cool?” Hoseok asks, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Only if you're giving me an invitation for me to join.” You tease, watching the tips of his ears flush a light red color at your bold statement. “I’m kidding, but don’t make me wait too long.”

The two of you share a few more jokes and laughs before he finally goes to take a shower. Just as you wished, Hoseok didn’t keep you waiting for long. He returns to the living room where you had been sitting patiently in a plain t-shirt and grey sweats while drying his hair with a towel. Stray droplets of water bead around his neck and hairline just be wiped away with the cloth as he stalks toward you. Settling down on the couch beside you, the two of you resume the playful conversation from earlier while sharing a few bottles of soju between the two of you. 

Carefully pacing yourself, you make sure Hoseok drinks more than you as you pour him shot after shot; encouraging him to indulge himself after a  good workout even when he says he needs to take it easy. However, it’s crucial for you to get him to at least match the level of inebriation that you were currently at just from being in his presence. Even without utilizing your vampiric powers, you note how much influence you have over him and how willing he is to listen. 

“You know, you don’t have to get me drunk to fuck.” He slurs slightly before chuckling as you pour him another drink.

“You can see right through me.” You play along with him, setting down the bottle and then nudging his glass in his direction. “So, it’s fine if I do this?” Inviting yourself into Hoseok’s personal space, you perch yourself on his lap with your lips ghost along his neck as you await his reply.  

“Y-yeah.” He stutters out as he feels your tongue poke out to lap at his skin and baring your fangs, letting him feel the pointed canines right before sinking them into his flesh. You retreat for only a mere few seconds to admire the two parallel puncture wounds that mark his once flawless skin. Diving right back as the two little holes start to drip out the crimson liquid you had been craving all night, you feed on him eagerly. 

Just as expected, he tastes absolutely divine. It’s hard for you to pull away from him because every time you think about it, you just want to sink your teeth into a different part of his body and see if some places taste better than others. On top of that, he’s such a delight to feed on him as he just gives in to you; letting himself be lulled into unconsciousness. Despite the amount of blood you were suckling from his neck, that wasn’t enough to stop blood from rushing between his legs and causing his not so little friend to start poking you in the butt. 

It seems that you had underestimated just how bewitched you had Hoseok. Wrapped around your pretty little finger, he probably wouldn’t have minded you bleeding him dry. But during the few hours you’ve known him you have grown quite fond of him yourself. You would hate to cut your time together short. Mustering up the will, you finally pull away from his neck, making sure not to leave a single drop left behind after finally getting a good meal. 

Seeing that he was passed out and probably having some sort of erotic dream about you, you get up from his lap and peruse around his apartment; getting acquainted with the layout and seeing what things he had kept around. Locating a paper to-do list on the fridge, you quickly scribble your name and number as it seemed like the polite thing to do since you were leaving without bidding him goodbye. 

And with that, you see yourself out. 

In the following weeks, you thought that you would be fine. You went out and did your thing as usual. But Hoseok remained at the front of your mind at all times. He texted you the day after you went to his apartment, having no clear recollection of what happened. Despite how much you enjoyed talking to him and wanted to see him again, you denied all of his offers to hang out again mainly out of fear of losing control in his presence. But the fact he always wanted to see during daylight hours played a factor in it as well. 

It had been so long that you had experienced an emotion like this. You weren’t sure how to cope. Being careful about not killing those you feed on had always been something you worried about; but to feel even an ounce of guilt after feeding on someone was strange. As tasty as he was and how much you craved him, the idea of feeding on him again made you feel bad. 

But of course, the universe works in mysterious ways and you would cross paths with him again. 

Under flashy club lights, celebrating a friend’s birthday was the last place you expected to run into Hoseok. Before you saw him with your eyes, you were able to sniff out his delectable fragrance.  

I guess the city is smaller than I thought. 

You muse to yourself as you sip on your cocktail, very aware of how his scent was growing stronger and stronger until he finally made his way to the VIP section you were seated at with your friends. Not wanting to deal with any awkward conversations about why you’ve been avoiding him, you quietly disappear amongst the large group of people and scurry off to get lost on the dance floor. But it’s just no use. The natural connection between you and Hoseok strikes again. 

Your time dancing alone doesn’t last very long because some random guy thought it would be appropriate to join you. You turn around to tell him off but he won’t take no for an answer, souring your mood to the point of contemplating playing along with him just so you could suck the literal life from him. However, before the opportunity would arise, a familiar shadow looms over you from behind.

Luckily for you, Hoseok’s mere presence is enough to get the weird guy to take a hint and leave. 

Maybe it’s the liquor in your system. Maybe it’s the fact that whenever you’re around him, he serves as your own personal brand of heroin—the dramatic metaphor Edward Cullen used to describe Bella was the only way you could describe your feelings— but you’re not thinking straight when you lean into Hoseok’s firm body, finding comfort in him after the odd encounter you just had. His firm chest is pressed up against your back so you don’t have to worry about getting lost in his eyes. Not yet at least. You take it upon yourself to reach for his arms and wrap them around your waist, urging him to dance with you. 

“I thought you were avoiding me, what happened?” Hoseok playfully asks, leaning in close to your ear so you could hear him over the music. It’s such a simple action, but the sound of voice paired with his breath fanning over your neck sends a tingle of excitement down your spine. 

“I thought I was, too.” You admit with a small laugh, turning your body in his arms in order to face him. “I wasn’t prepared to see you here.”

“Can you tell me why?” He questions as his expression turns serious.

Eyes meeting his, you can detect the slightest bit of hurt under all the confusion and curiosity. It tugs at your heart to see him wearing that emotion. So much so, it compels you to do the unthinkable. 

Wanna know a secret? You tilt your head curiously as you look up at him.

Hoseok’s expression morphs into one of surprise as he realizes that he heard your words but didn’t see your lips move. And even if your lips had moved, it would have been impossible to hear you as clearly as he did. It’s almost as if— 

I’m in your thoughts.

Silently, you create some distance from him as you remove his arms from your body just to take his hand into yours and lead him away from the crowd. Weaving through the crowd of people, the two of you go out a backdoor that had been propped open as a feeble attempt to get more airflow into the venue. In the empty alley, the air is dramatically cooler and less humid than inside; it’s refreshing. 

“Wanna take a guess about what’s going on?” You ask him as a dallying grin tugs at the corner of your lips. “Don’t say your answer out loud. Just think about it.”

In every single way, the current situation Hoseok finds himself in right now is the opposite of the scenes from Twilight. Yet, it’s the only parallel he could draw right now as he sees your pointed teeth glint under the moonlight. 

You could read his mind. You turned down all of his invites for morning coffee dates or lunch. He first met you at night and now he’s seeing you once again under the blanket of nightfall. Before he passed out from what he originally thought was him being too drunk, he remembered you being very interested in his neck. 

But those things could be just coincidences, right? 

Vampires aren’t real.

Or are they? 

Possible proof could be standing right in front of him but the fear of dying in order to find out the truth about what’s supposed to be a fictional creature terrifies him.

“I would never dream of killing you.” You say softly, a small laugh escaping you. “If I wasn’t worried about accidentally bleeding you dry, I wouldn’t have avoided you.”

The sudden confession eases Hoseok’s nerves; but it creates new questions in his mind. Questions that you listen in on and you’re more than happy to answer. 

A combination of thoughts with a few more spoken words sprinkled into the mix are exchanged between the two of you before both of you agree on returning to Hoseok’s apartment. 

As soon as you make it through the door, you’re all over each other. You move so quickly, it makes Hoseok’s head spin. In just one blink, you had him pushed up against his front door as soon as it closed. While kissing his neck, eager fingers unbuttoning the dress shirt he was wearing. Your lips follow the trail of exposed skin, going lower and lower until you encounter a new obstruction. 

His pants.  

A soft hand reaches to grasp the semi-erect length hiding under the fabric. Giving it a firm squeeze, you feel it twitch under your touch and grow harder. The little movement amuses you more than you should as Hoseok lets out little whimpers so you repeat the motion until you’ve gotten him fully hard. 

“Please,” He whines out. “Touch me more.”

The desperation in his voice is so endearing, it makes you almost want to give in to him. Your fingers slowly inch closer to his belt buckle and you take your time undoing it. Hoseok’s eyes watch every languid action, silently wishing you would pick up the pace. Even if he knows that you could read his thoughts, it doesn’t stop him from thinking about what he wants you to do for him and to him.

“Let me have just one thing. And I’ll do whatever you want.” You say, looking up at him as you yank his belt out of the loops of his pants. “Will you let me have it?’

Without even bothering to question your conditions, Hoseok nods eagerly. Too far gone with lust, he would let you have anything as long as it meant feeling more of your touch. But of course, this type of response is exactly what you expected from him and it pleases you. 

Making quick work of the button and zipper on his pants, you hastily yank the fabric down his oh so muscular legs; watching him carelessly kick away the garment once it pools at his ankles. Your hands run up and down his thighs, enjoying the way the muscle feels under your palms before you move in closer; lips ghosting along his inner thigh. Hoseok tenses ever so slightly as you litter kisses so dangerously close to where he wants you but not quite making contact. 

Hoseok maintains a close eye on all your actions, anticipating what’s next. But his eyes just can’t keep up with you. He doesn’t see your fangs drag against his skin; he can only feel it but he just assumes it’s your regular teeth. Until he feels a small prick into the meat of his thigh and the sensation of liquid running down his leg. He’s only able to get a glimpse of red dripping along his thigh before your tongue is chasing after it and licking it away. Your mouth covers the two miniscule holes on his thigh before you start suckling. 

His head falls back in bliss at the suction on such a sensitive area but he starts to feel lightheaded due to the blood loss. Lapsing in and out of consciousness, he can’t focus on a single thing except for how hard it is to stay afloat. 

“Don’t pass out on me now.” You coo gently, digging your nails into his thigh as means of keeping him awake. 

Eyes fluttering open at the sound of your words, his gaze returns to you and it’s almost like pure energy was injected into his veins when he sees you pulling off his boxer briefs. He holds his breath as his length practically springs out of its confines. A pearly bead of precum decorates the tip of his cock, prompting you to lap it up. The warmth of your tongue surprises Hoseok and elicits a small gasp of pleasure from him; only for it to turn into a shaky moan as your hand moves to grasp the base of his cock. Placing a gentle kiss on the tip, you feel his cock pulse under your lips before finally taking it into your mouth and swirling your tongue around it.  

“Oh fuck—” Hoseok whimpers, encouraging you to take more of him down your throat. With your hand carefully stroking whatever you couldn’t take, you hollow your cheeks and suck him off with a hunger that matches his neediness. 

After all, you did tell him you would do whatever he wanted if he let you have what you wanted.  And being able to get inside of his head took a lot of the guesswork out of it. 

Your tongue is set flat against the underside of his cock, massaging the area with the utmost care as one of the veins throbs with every motion you make. The prettiest moans and whimpers keep falling from him, it’s impossible for you to ignore your desire to keep hearing more of them. So of course, your natural course of action is to not just keep going; but to up the intensity for him.

Just having your lips stretched around his thick length has drool pooling in your mouth and threatening to spill out. As you push yourself further along his cock, greedily cramming the entirety of it past your throat, so much saliva has gathered it doesn’t just help ease him deeper inside; it also starts running down your chin. 

Hoseok can barely stand to look at you at this point; the visual is so stimulating it makes him want to cum just from the sight. All of his thoughts are scrambled and he can barely find the words to tell you how good it feels to have you deepthroating his cock with so much gusto. Only a series of gasps and whiny moans are able to come out of him as he feels himself melting under your touch, the door against his back being the only source of stability he has since his legs were starting to feel like jelly trying to keep himself up. The warm heaven your mouth and throat send him to is almost too much to take—especially when paired with the lewd sounds of you gagging on his cock and his thoughts of how good your pussy must feel—

“Please—” Hoseok rasps out, a shaky hand reaching for the back of your head.

“You want to stop already?” You ask mockingly as you pull your mouth off of him, opting to slowly jack him off; the slick sounds of your hand tugging on his length filling in the silence between you as he tries to find the words to convey his feelings. “We’re just getting started.” You pout, moving your hand slower as you enjoy the salacious noises created by his sopping wet cock being pumped by you.

“N-no! Don’t stop, it’s too good.” He cries out, feeling your grip tighten each time it passes over the sensitive tip of his cock. “It’s so fucking good.” He gasps, writhing under your touch as more pre cum leaks out of him adding to the wet mess of saliva you had created and contributing to the sloppy symphony as you pleasure him with your hand.

“Please what, then? What do you want?” You taunt, looking up at him as you feel his cock throbbing under your touch. 

His face is flushed as he shyly meets your intense gaze, trying not to stumble on his words after trying so hard to string together a coherent sentence. 

“Please…let me cum.” He barely gets out, another pathetic moan nearly cutting him off mid sentence. 

Your hand picks up the pace; coaxing him to his finish but as he needily bucks into your fist, you decide to let Hoseok chase after his own climax just for your own amusement. Watching him closely, you observe how his chest rises and falls quicker with his moans coming more frequently. He was so beautiful like this, he could probably make the Greek gods green with envy. His body tenses as his orgasm rapidly builds. With one more tight tug of his cock, his seed spills all over your hand, some of it falling into your lap. 

Your hand slows down, but you don’t stop your ministrations as you force Hoseok to ride out his climax no matter how much he whines. 

“I’m so sensitive. It’s too much.” He pants out; yet his body says otherwise as he’s still bucking into your hand, the sticky mess of cum making him glide in and out of your fist easier. 

“You like it though,” You laugh as you give his cock another squeeze, prompting more of the milky substance to seep out of the tip. “You really wanna end it here?” 

Standing up from your kneeling position, you finally release his cock from your hold and lap up the secretion clinging to your skin while observing Hoseok’s current state. His eyes are glossed over, in a daze as he watches you hungrily lick his cum off of your fingers. It isn’t until you have swallowed the last drop, he recovers from his post orgasm haze and feels revitalized. You can practically see the life return in his eyes and the moment he regains his energy, his posture straightens before lunging forward to toss you over his shoulder then haul you to his bedroom. 

For a human, he moves pretty swiftly and it impresses you. You’re further enamored by his strength; knowing that being able to lift you so easily was no feat to scoff at. When he tosses you onto the mattress, it causes the short cocktail dress you had been wearing to ride up and conveniently exposes your lace panties to him.

Hoseok is only able to admire you for a few seconds before the urge to touch you overwhelms him. Mentally, he wrestles with whether he should go straight for the treasure between your legs or if he should ease into it and take his time. But of course, you make the choice easy when you’re able to pick up on those thoughts. He looms over you, caging you in his arms, looking down at you with lust thinly veiled by that boyish charm you find yourself so enthralled by.

One hand slips into the fabric of your panties, making your lips part in a silent gasp. Hoseok’s touch is rough against your skin and he moves with an eagerness that excites your senses. His fingers gently gather the arousal that was leaking out of you before going to circle your swollen clit, causing a small moan to escape you. He’s fascinated by your mere existence; he didn’t think that the flesh of a vampire could be so warm. He wants to feel more of you.

Rather than rely on you telling him how to do things, Hoseok is eager to learn how to please you; letting your noises and body’s reactions guide him. Massaging your clit at varying speeds and pressures; bringing you so close to climaxing just from stimulating the small bundle of nerves then stopping when you were about to cum. He was a more attentive lover than you could have imagined and it doesn’t take long until you’re practically dripping all over his fingers and pleading for him to put them inside you. Not one to disappoint, he tears your skimpy underwear off your body; tossing the tattered fabric off to the side carelessly.  

His digits were completely covered in your arousal after the lewd petting so when he goes to slip his middle finger into your weeping hole, it slides in easily and is immediately followed by a second. You moan out loud at the intrusion and instinctively pull Hoseok in for a kiss to quiet yourself. His kisses are slow and tender, a stark contrast to the way his thick fingers fuck your sopping cunt. The heat of his lips against yours is an addictive sensation, but you end up breaking the kiss when his fingers roughly thrust into the sensitive, spongy spot within your walls. 

“Feel good?” He gently asks as his fingers slow down, deliberately rubbing up against that spot with more vigor. You think you let out some sort of positive affirmation to him—you’re not sure because your mind can only focus on how good you’re feeling—but his fingers pick up the pace once more, his palm slapping against your clit every time he thrusts deep inside. 

“F-fuck, just like that.” You slur, bucking your hips against his fingers, desperate to reach your climax and regain at least some of your mental clarity.

It’s impossible to ignore the slick noises your cunt makes as Hoseok’s fingers work to coax your climax out of you. You’re writhing against the sheets as the two digits inside you pound into you at an ungodly pace; and just when you thought it couldn’t get better, you feel his thumb rubbing at your clit to give you consistent stimulation there. The white hot heat that pools in the pit of your stomach burns brighter and hotter with every action Hoseok makes; your legs shaking and moans constantly pouring from your lips. With a shrill exclamation of his name, your back arches off of the mattress, vision going blurry. You can barely process what’s happening as before you’re squirting all over his fingers and soiling the sheets beneath you.

Eyes fluttering closed, you take a moment to yourself to even out your breathing and gather your thoughts. The bunched up fabric around your midsection suddenly feels constricting despite you having it on for a good portion of the evening so you take it upon yourself to yank it off your body as Hoseok’s fingers help you ride out the remains of your climax.

He had been eyeing your juicy pussy the whole time. Watching you squirt was one of the most erotic things he’s seen and he desperately wants a taste of you. The only thing stopping him is his uncertainty about whether you would like it if he dove back in so soon after your orgasm.  His thoughts are so loud now that you’re not so consumed with lust.   

Unfortunately for him, eating you out is a privilege he has not earned yet. He would have to wait for another time. You can see his expression briefly become sullen once you relay the thought to him, but you put an emphasis on the fact that there will be a next time which makes him perk right up.

 So, for now he would be satisfied with licking your remains off of his fingers after he pulls them out of you. 

“Oh, wow.” You muse as you prop yourself up on your elbows, getting a better look at him. “Your little friend is up after I fed on you and milked you dry? Aren’t you something special?” 

Your gaze fixes itself between Hoseok’s legs and you wonder how long he had been sporting that hard on; and also, why on Earth did it look bigger than before? In all your time of being alive and playing with your food, never had you seen a man so lively after being drained of two bodily fluids. 

Sitting back on his knees and no longer looking down at you, he blesses you with some more eye candy; letting you ogle at him for a bit and really take in just how well built he was. Your eyes trail up the expanse of his body before you meet his and realize the needy expression he now wears.

“Can I please fuck you now?” He asks the dirty question so sweetly, how could you possibly say no? The mere sound of his words make you wanna jump on him. The only thing that stops you from doing so is the fact that you wanna know what exactly he’s capable of. 

Beckoning him closer to you, you invite Hoseok to fill the space between your parted legs, silently relinquishing all control to him. 

With one hand wrapped around the base of his cock, you watch as he taps the swollen head against your overly sensitive clit; a shiver running down your spine at the sensation. You’re only able to watch in a lust filled haze as Hoseok drags his cock against your pussy, happily coating it in your arousal. Once his thick length is nice and wet, he eases the tip into you slowly. Just as the first inch slides in, you feel your toes go numb as he stretches you out. As Hoseok sinks deeper into you, your eyes roll back at the pain laced with pleasure. He may have done an amazing job at making you cum with his fingers, but now your walls were so tight and sensitive; trying to take in the girth of his cock isn’t easy. It hurts but you’re begging him for more; and Hoseok eagerly obliges, filling you up to the hilt and just admiring the way your cunt molds to fit him. 

Taking a hold of your thighs in each hand, he pushes them against your chest, leaving your ankles to dangle over his shoulders. Leaning into you, the weight of his body presses you into this excruciating folded position but the mild discomfort is easily overshadowed by just how deep you feel his cock. His balls press against your ass, catching the arousal that leaks from your center before his hips draw back just to deliver you a hard thrust that sets the tone for the rest that follow, a choked out gasp slips out of you. 

Your eyes roll back into your head as Hoseok fucks you into the sheets, your mind becoming scrambled and only able to focus on how good he makes you feel. Good was a gross understatement for the pleasure he gives you but it would have to suffice with how hazy your mind was.

It doesn’t take long until he’s desperately rutting into you, the sound of skin slapping against skin mixed in with your moans and Hoseok’s heavy panting filling his otherwise silent bedroom.   

“Oh my god,” He rasps out. “How are you so wet?” His question comes out as a breathless whisper. Both of you are able to feel the gush of arousal that seeps out of your pussy at the sound of his voice but rather than make another comment on it, he thrusts into you faster. You snap out of your daze just to watch Hoseok’s head fall back as he loses himself in the feeling of how wet and warm your walls around his cock. 

“There, fuck, right there!” You barely get out between moans as the angle of his thrusts shift ever so slightly and hits that spongy spot inside of you that makes you see stars. Half lidded eyes focus on how much more attractive he appears as he’s pounding away at your g-spot, eager to make you cum again. 

Your legs shake and your moans get breathier and whinier. All the tell tale signs of you being extremely close to cumming were there, but it still took you by surprise when your walls squeezed down impossibly tight on his dick. You shiver as your climax hits you, your juices trickling down on to his length that’s still moving in and out of you as he’s now able to selfishly chase after his own orgasm. Breathy whimpers fall from you as he continues to stimulate your walls, fucking you through your climax and prolonging the sensation of euphoria overtaking your body. 

“W-where should I cum?” Hoseok asks, looking down at you with pupils blown out with lust and the neediest expression on his face. 

“Wherever you want.” You tell him as a tired smile graces your features, your hand reaching to stroke his cheek fondly. You see it in his eyes, the notion of being allowed to cum where he wanted excites him even more. He pummels into your pussy at his fastest speed yet, searching for his own little slice of heaven within your walls. With the most beautiful sound you’ve heard, he finally unleashes his load inside of you, filling you to the brim with his cum. You sigh happily as you let him take a few more moments to ride out his climax before slipping your legs off of his shoulders and carefully pulling yourself off of his cock. 

Hoseok’s orgasm had sapped the last bit of energy he had out of him as he slumped onto the bed, lying opposite of you. Satisfied with your encounter with him, you kiss his forehead and wish him sweet dreams before you bid him goodbye. 

You would disappear before the sun started to rise, but once it was nightfall, you would happily return to him.

[fleet-of-fiction]

Jake Kiszka // Female Narrator

Part Three

After a blinding light eradicates mankind, you're left in a desolate and empty world. A year of solitude eliminates all belief that anyone else was left behind. Until a chance encounter on the side of the road. Jake is injured and fighting for his life, but his presence brings a renewed sense of hope. Touch starved and lonely, you need him. And undoubtedly, he needs you too.

"It would be the last man on earth that would end up being mine..."

Explicit sexual content Sex (penetrative & oral) /Foreplay /Blood / Injury / Hunting. / Intense emotions / Death.

Day 410 ~ Jake

Her eyes drifted up from the board. An air of concentration furrowed between her brows and the tip of her tongue which sat delicately at the edge of her teeth.

"Check mate!" She announced, knocking my piece off the board with a look of devilish satisfaction.

"Beginners luck." I replied, sending a hand to my ribcage to rub an ache I suspected would always trouble me from now on.

The snow had fallen in earnest. A blanket of dazzling white covered the ground, powdered flakes falling off the canopy of trees around us made for a spectacle when the sun peeked out from behind clouds. It was the first real beauty I'd taken note of in what felt like a very long time.

"And what if I told you that I was a secret master? That I'd been dumbing down my abilities all this time just so that I didn't demasculate you over a game of chess?" She gloated, raising an eyebrow as she waited for me to make my next move.

She reminded me of a sunset. With a touch of copper in her hair and those damned freckles on her nose. She had all the hope of a beautiful end and that it would bring something as equally beautiful in the morning.

"I didn't have you down as a liar." I replied, scanning the board for something that would knock her off her winning streak.

She folded her hands beneath her chin and leaned her elbows onto the edge of the kitchen table. "There's a lot you don't know about me, Jake."

I didn't doubt that. But I was sincerely grateful for the things which I had learned over the past few days. She'd carefully guided me around the entire place, shown me how everything worked and where the source of all the power came from. How to maintain all the power sources and what to do in the event of any of them breaking down.

There was a bank of solar panels on the cabin roof, flanked by a couple of small turbines. They were hooked up to a battery which powered the entire place. There was a small out house around the back, a few old generators were sat in there gathering dust in case of an emergency but she assured me the solar and wind provided more than enough for the entire place to run off for another decade.

These were things that I felt as if I should've known. Things that felt fundamental to survival. As if somehow it'd been wrong to live in a house that was attached to a network that relied on manpower to keep going. The foolishness of it.

Even the polytunnels where the vegetables grew made me feel as if I'd been missing the point entirely every time I'd walked into a grocery store. There were chickens kept in a coop, and there were two horses in a small stable on the other side of the trees. Because, apparently, someday the fuel was going to turn bad. She talked at great length about how she had no idea how to get the horses to mate, in the event of their untimely deaths she didn't want be left without transportation.

These were things I hadn't considered. Things which made me feel a little stupid when she pointed them out to me. My eyes widening in slight horror at the sheer expanse of pickled foods and canned goods kept in what she liked to call the "store". It was a small shelter, dug into the ground and covered in mossy earth to the untrained eye. But inside there was every non perishable and medical supply you could think of. Put there by her Grandma, in the event of the government falling to into it's own pit of destruction, or so her Grandma explained it.

The stark realisation that my life had been filled with convenient privilege was not lost upon me. I watched her muck out the horses and feed the chickens, tend to her plants and make sure the store was stocked up making mental notes of each little thing she did. Hoping that when the time came, I'd be able to be of some use to her.

"I know you're not a chess master." I hummed, tipping over her Bishop with my Queen. "Check mate?"

She leaned back in defeat. Chewing on the inside of her cheek as she tried not to react. The board looked a little chaotic now, with pieces in places I had no idea what to do with. I had minimal knowledge of the game and I suspected she was trying in vain to keep it going.

"You're a dark horse." She ruminated, trying to step over the impasse we'd arrived at. "I can't imagine we'll complete this before sunrise."

What did it matter? Time was our greatest thief. And yet, it was slowly becoming our greatest asset. We had time to sit and play chess, time to sit and read. Time to take walks in the woodland and drive into the empty streets of Roanoke to go in search for supplies.

The world was gently eroding back to nature. Something I'd barely noticed over the passing of the last year. Maybe I'd been so hell bent on finding another living soul that I'd forgotten to take in what was around me. With Amelia, it was starting to feel like I had woken up from a deep and dreamless sleep.

I was about to consider my next move when she shoved the board aside.

"How about that whiskey?" She asked, a flash of mischief in her eyes that I'd never seen before. "You're done with your antibiotics now."

The wind howled outside. Another flurry of snow in the air. The animals were fed and watered. I felt a churn of something deep within, like the stirrings of Christmas morning as a child. Like everything was precisely as it should be.

Everything was ok.

"You might not like me when I'm drunk." I warned, allowing a hint of playfulness to slip out. "I have this terrible penchant for speaking in a British accent."

She grabbed a bottle of something dark from the cupboard beneath the sink. Hooking two small glasses between her fingers from the cupboard above.

"That's the alcohol influencing the broca's area of your brain." She explained, pouring out two generous shots. "The part which perceives speech is impended. Although the accent thing is weird, I'd quite like to hear it."

There was a little curl in her lip as she clinked her glass against mine.

"You're so smart." I told her, "You make me feel like I was just travelling towards a destination with my eyes closed."

Immediately she brushed a dismissive hand through the air. Curling up her legs to sit with them crossed in the little dining chair, nursing her glass as she watched the brown liquid roll around the crystal edges.

"I think we were both entirely different people before." She said warmly, "If we had known what was to come, would we have lived our lives any differently?"

I sank my drink and leaned my hand out for a refill. "My life wasn't ordinary, even back then."

There'd been so many reasons why we hadn't talked like this before. Her initial reluctance had taken time to thaw. The silence we'd become accustomed to seemed so much safer to dwell in.

I was starting to lose count of the days I'd been with her. I was entirely distracted with surviving and being of service to her. Getting myself well enough to pitch in and not be a burden. The way she had given me purpose again made me want to live in this empty world. It made me not want to be anywhere else, with anyone else.

"I guess we haven't really touched on that, yet." She replied sheepishly, almost as if she didn't want to go there. "It almost seems irrelevant, doesn't it?"

She sank back another shot. Wincing as the burn slid down the back of her throat. Her nose wrinkled, all those freckles converging. For a moment I could forget that once there'd been another woman in my life.

"We both lost people we loved." I countered, taking the bottle for myself and pouring my glass almost full. "It's not relevant now, but I still miss them. I don't know how to stop missing them."

She didn't say anything for what felt like too long a period of silence. Where usually it was solidly comfortable, I could feel her unease at the presence of the ghosts of those we loved. Their names on the tips of our tongues.

"I don't think we're meant to. I think we're meant to miss them for the rest of our lives. Maybe that's our cross to bear. For whatever this life now brings." She replied, our mutual sadness at that thought evident in the way her eyes glossed over.

I didn't want her to cry. I couldn't bear to see her cry. It made me want to throw all my resolve away and take her into my arms whether she would have me or push me away. It made me want to make a fool of myself.

"I don't think we should play chess anymore." I suggested, "It makes us melancholy."

I clocked the bottle and it was already half empty.

"I don't think it's the chess." She slurred a little, gesturing to the snowy expanse outside. "I don't think I've seen this much snow for this long in my life, ever."

I could feel the heat of the whiskey in my blood as I stood. Taking my time to stroll over to the kitchen window. Trying to make myself appear steadier than I felt.

"Maybe the climate is changing."

Her face remained still. It took me a moment to notice that she wasn't responding. When I chanced a glance over at her, she was chewing the inside of her cheek. Lost in a thought I couldn't follow her into.

"What is it?" I dared to ask.

"They won't be here to see it." She replied quietly, a solitary tear betraying her. "They won't be here to see any more sunrises. Or the way that grass is starting to grow in all the pot holes that were left. And they'll never see the snow on the ground again. I hope..."

She swallowed hard, taking the bottle and foregoing the glass entirely. Swigging it back, like she couldn't stand to measure it out anymore.

"What do you hope?" I asked.

There was a longing there in her face that wasn't there before. Subsequent tears spilling down her red cheeks. Her skin all blotchy from the drink and the roaring fire.

"Wherever they are..." She sobbed. "I hope there's snow."

If we didn't speak their names, how could we honour them? If I was doomed to spend the rest of my life missing them, their names would never be forgotten anyway. They deserved to be spoken. They deserved to be memorialised. If they were dead, we couldn't go to their graves and weep. If they were alive, there were no roads we could find that would lead us to them. Speaking of them was all we had.

"Josh loved snow." I offered, returning to the table as slowly as I could. "We used to get a lot of it in winter where we grew up. Our parents used to make us go out back and chop wood and we'd have these huge bonfires and burn all the crap we didn't need for next summer. When we got a little older, our little brother Sam would have to come with us and we'd make him do all the hard labour. And he'd stand there and complain that it wasn't fair and we'd spin him a yarn about how he used to get to sit in the house all nice and warm while we did it and he wasn't a baby any more. Our sister never had to it, though. Her name was Veronica. She would sometimes come outside and hang out with us, though. She was cool like that."

I hadn't said their names in so long it was like resurrecting them. When I looked up from my faraway gaze, she wasn't crying anymore. There was this look of inherent surprise. Like she hadn't expected me to offload a childhood memory so freely. I could see a glimmer of hope where the tears had once been.

"Josh was your brother?" She ventured.

"Twin." I nodded, "He and I were the eldest. Then Veronica. Then little Sammy."

I probably shouldn't have, but I let her slide the bottle over towards me. Enough left for one more sip. I could feel myself on the fringes of being drunk, I knew one more would tip me over the edge.

"I had two brothers." She sniffed, wiping her cheeks with the sleeve of her t-shirt. "I was the middle child. My older brother, Deacon, he was like eight years older than me. I'm not sure my parents planned on having more than one but I guess nothing really goes to plan in life, does it? My little brother, Charlie, he was only two years younger."

Charlie. The little toy chest in my room still had his name carved in it. For her, they weren't just names to be said in remembrance. They were real, solid echoes still bouncing off these walls. I felt this uncontrollable need to close the distance between us. To hold her like I had when she'd screamed in the night.

"It didn't stop us from fighting, though." Her eyes lit up. "Deacon would always have to be the voice of reason, but every now and then he would come down to our level and bicker with us about something until our Dad had to step in. Our Mom was always a little more laid back, I think it was because she was raised here at the cabin. My Dad grew up in Silicon Valley. He had vacations in Europe and country club memberships. My Mom had yearly road trips to Virginia beach in a beaten up Volkswagen my Grandpa drove into the ground. Deacon was the first person in her family to graduate college."

And just like that, the fire went out again.

"So your Dad was rich?" I poked at the embers, hoping to see the spark in her come back.

She shrugged. "His family were. All surgeons and lawyers and ceo's. I think he probably would've lived that textbook rich white guy life if he hadn't met my Mom. She kept him grounded. We were never allowed to exploit our wealth, we had to do volunteer work and give generously to charities. We had to go to college and get our own jobs and careers, there were no hand outs. But I guess you could say we were privileged. But never spoiled. Not when we used to spend summers here, with our Grandparents."

I could have listened to her all night. "What was that like?"

She uncrossed her legs and inspected the empty bottle. Her eyes were half closed, lids fluttering up and down slowly in a drunken haze.

"It was like fucking Disneyland." She smiled, then. "My friends all went off to ski in Aspen or whatever. We got sent here to hunt squirrels with my Grandpa and bake pies with my Grandma. And toast marshmallows on the fire every night. They'd let us go swimming in the lake until sunset, taught us everything we needed to know about living in the woods. And every time we had to go back to California, it always felt like I was stepping back into something I didn't really feel a part of."

She looked up at me from her inspection of the empty bottle. As if she'd forgotten that I was sat there at all.

"What was your life like?" She asked, scuttering off to the cupboard under the sink, falling almost as she slinked off the edge of her chair.

She waved a bottle of red wine at me, her lips flattening into a straight line as she settled on the floor.

"We don't have any wine glasses." She said flatly, "Can't drink wine without a wine glass."

I would have gone to her and picked her up off the ground. Helped her back to her seat, made her laugh if I could. Let her fall asleep on the couch in a delicious drunken heap, wrapped in the blankets she'd left me in when she'd saved my life. But she stumbled to her feet, giggling softly as she realised how quickly the whiskey had gone to her head.

"You need some help, there?" I asked, reaching out my hand for her to take.

"No, I'm good." She lied, "You just tell me your life story while I pour."

She filled our little crystal glasses to the brim, taking care to leave enough space at the top to allow for spillages. All regard for needing a wine glass dissipated.

"I was just a boy with a guitar from Michigan."

She stared at me with those hooded lids. Keeping her drink propped against her mouth, like I was weaving the most interesting tale she'd ever heard.

"Where's your guitar now?"

I hadn't anticipated how much that question would sting. I knew she noticed the way I backed away from it. She reached over the table and placed her palm on my forearm. Her thumb making soft movements against the scar which ran down the centre of my flesh.

"No...not without Josh..." I stammered, "I can't play..."

There was a real sympathy in the way her brows knitted together, squeezing my arm a little in silent comfort. She stayed like that, touching me innocently, as I tried to compel myself to bring together the story of my life. It felt like I was entirely detached from all of my memories somehow. As if recalling it from something I'd watched rather than experienced first hand. Like a fever dream.

One thing I knew for certain. One thing that struck me as the alcohol coursed through my veins. It didn't matter how many thousands of people I had played to. It did matter how many awards I'd won. None of it mattered a damn thing without my brothers. And I'd sworn never to play without them again.

Day 413 ~ Amelia

The rain began that night. Lashing against my bedroom window, forcing the snow to retreat. A part of me was relieved. That the snow would wash away and all the earth beneath it would be able to breathe again. Bringing a renewed hope for the coming spring. But it kept me awake. The deafening pitter patter against the old glass felt as if it was break at any moment. The rattle of the wind like ghosts through the cracks in the old wood.

Jake had been a formidable drinking partner. My head still aching somewhat from a hangover that had lasted three days. I bore no regret from it, though. The whiskey and wine had afforded me a courage I couldn't have found on my own. And the nightmares had been kept at bay too. Sleeping far too deep for any of those demons to penetrate.

My mouth was dry. Frustrated by the noise and the insomnia and the lingering consequences of my booziness I crawled out of bed and slipped into my robe. On soft tiptoes I crept out into the hallway, certain that the wind and rain would shroud my movements. But staying quiet just in case.

Down the hall Jake's bedroom door was ajar. A shard of low, golden light striking the hall in half. I'd expected him to be asleep, coming to know his sleeping habits in the days he'd been here. He was a night owl, often hearing him slip into bed hours after I'd retired. It was almost dawn, but still pitch enough that it felt like the dead of night.

It was in my mind to go downstairs and fetch a glass of water, to mind my business and leave him be. But the soft whimpers that cried out above the din of the wind called out to me. And I crept on silent feet down the hall, moving against all the intricacies of the floor boards I knew would creak and alert him to my presence.

It sounded like he was in pain. The way he'd recovered so quickly had been unusual, part of me had wondered if he'd tried to save face. If, when in private, he'd allowed himself moments to feel the pain of his healing injuries where I couldn't see him. But it wasn't pain.

It was pleasure.

I stood in the crack of his door. Sinful sounds coming from the bed. A rush of blood to my head made me weak at the knees. His hand was moving vigorously beneath the bed sheet. The sound of his voice, like that of a man who had known truly how to love a woman.

I closed my eyes and began to imagine hearing those melodic moans above me. A reminder that I'd long forgotten what it felt like to simply be a woman. In survival mode, there was no allowances for arousal. It had been gone from me, the desire to even touch myself. Every night I'd laid my head down and tried to rest until the sun came up. Never allowing myself to fall into that trap of desire. I was forever alone. There was nothing but grief each time my hand had travelled across my breasts. So I'd abandoned it. All hope that I'd ever feel want again.

Despite my eagerness to uphold his dignity, I couldn't find it within myself to move. Even when he grew too heated under the covers, kicking off his blanket to reveal the line of his body. I held my breath. Took note of the way his chest moved as he breathed harder, his stomach rising and falling. And the way he wrapped his hand around himself. Making gentle strokes that pulled on his shaft, revealing the flex of the muscles in his forearm.

I had no right to see this. I was the worst sort of voyeur. The sort that never made their presence known. If he had known would he have been angry? Humiliated? I couldn't tear my eyes from him. It was wrong, and it troubled me. The way I stood there and allowed the sight to make my core begin to throb. A heavy beat making me wet and swollen.

I stood there until he came into his palm. An agonizing groan signalling the end of his endurance. I watched the white, sticky mess spurt from his tip and spill down his fist. My hand pressed against my mound, not daring to trespass further. Not even underneath the fabric of my pyjama shorts. I was quietly hyperventilating, almost light headed from it as I watched him drag a hand towel down his softening cock and the back of his hand.

And just like that, he flicked off the lamp at his bed side and plunged the room into darkness. And I felt my own shame begin to rise in my cheeks as I stood there peering into the pitch black. Allowing the thunder which gathered overhead to shroud my footsteps as I retreated back up the hall way.

It was still raining when the sun came up. It drenched the daylight in a darkening grey and it didn't really feel as if the sun had come up at all. I busied myself with throwing down some chicken feed into the coop and gathering up some of the eggs which had been laid. I mucked out the horses and let them roam a little while I put down fresh bedding. Trying to keep my mind from returning to the thing I had done that morning.

He was a man who had been alone as long as I had. Clearly with a thirst which begged to be quenched. I was throwing down the bedding far more aggressively than I ever had before, torturing myself with thoughts that were unwelcome.

I didn't want him to kiss me, but why hadn't he tried? I didn't want him to fuck me, but why hadn't he tried? Why hadn't he even hinted at it? Or was his own hand a more preferable means to an end? Did he find me unattractive? Did I find him unattractive?

I cursed him as I shovelled the last of the bedding in, throwing my spade down as it clanged against the stable door. I hated myself for thinking such despicable things. All we had to do was survive. Nothing more. What did it matter if he satisfied himself behind a door I wasn't meant to be standing behind?

"There you are."

I spun on my heels. His hair was dripping, his shirt so wet that I could see right through it. A curious look on his face, like he'd been searching everywhere for me.

"Oh, hey." I replied, as nonchalantly as I could.

He looked into the clearing at the horses milling about, with no regard for the rain. They seemed to be enjoying being out of their confined space. And by all accounts, so did he.

"I woke up and you weren't there." He said, rain dripping off the tip of his nose.

"Yeah, I had stuff to do." I had already done it all, but I tried to make it appear as if I was still busy.

He watched me for a moment, his hair sticking to his collar bone and that stomach of his concaving as he breathed against the drenched shirt.

"Is it terrible that I didn't like it?" He asked, "I've grown fond of seeing you there drinking coffee at the kitchen table every morning."

How had I let this happen? This thing I swore I'd never let happen? How had he become so necessary to me and I to him? When he couldn't even bring himself to kiss me? Was it nothing more than a platonic fondness borne of this unwanted necessity? Was I a replacement for his mother or his sister?

"I've got shit to do, Jake. I'm sorry." I dismissed him, passing him as coldly as I could to fetch the horses in.

He would wonder why my temperature towards him had dropped. But I couldn't help it. I wanted to rid myself of this gnawing churn in my stomach that was forming each and every time I looked at him. Least of all now, when I knew the curve and shape of his cock and how he liked to stroke it so perfectly gently and firmly.

"Amelia..."

He would have one kind word from me.

"Jake, I don't have time for this nonsense." I spat, leading the other horse into shelter. "We're running low on fire wood and I need to do a supply run for toilet paper. There's two of us here now, you understand?"

I'd been initially standoffish and he could forgive me for that. We didn't know each other or our intentions. But it was clear I'd let my guard down somewhat, and I knew the way I spoke to him was a bolt from the blue. He couldn't understand my switch.

"You know I'll do anything to help." He said so apologetically my heart almost broke in two. "I can do more, now. I'm starting to feel stronger every day. And I promise... soon you won't have to do all this stuff on your own. I'll pull my weight. I'm sorry..."

I couldn't bear it. The way he looked at me. A solemn pleading in his eyes as I latched the stable door shut and we stood in the pouring rain staring each other down like a duel at high noon. The rain hit the canopy above so hard it sounded like static when the tv didn't have any signal.

"Why are you staying here, Jake?" I demanded, raising my voice above the crescendo of rain. "What is it for? Are you afraid to be alone again, is that it?"

He blinked at me. Water rushing so hard it even poured off his eyelashes. Torrential and hard, we stood there like statues letting it shower over us like it wasn't even there.

"Of course I'm afraid to be alone again, aren't you?!" He snapped back, drinking rain as he spoke. "But that doesn't mean I'd rather be with anyone else?! I don't want to go back out there and carry on looking, I've found what I was searching for! Don't you get that?!"

Someone to take the edge off his solitude. Nothing more and nothing less. And why should I be anything more to him? I didn't want him crawling under my skin any more than he already had. We would ride out this error in humanity's timeline. Help each other to survive. That was it.

"I don't know." I confessed, " I was fine before. I was doing just fine! And then you came along, literally crashed into my life! Like I needed the distraction? The pull on my resources?!"

I didn't mean it. I could feel myself filled with regret even as the words came out. He was shaking his head, his hair so wet it barely moved. The dark circles beneath his eyes seemed deeper somehow. And I knew that I'd hurt him by the way he couldn't seem to get his words out. He could only look at me and feel the knife in his back that I put there despite standing right in front of him.

"If you want me to leave I will leave."

And now because he wanted to. He would leave because I wanted him to. And now I wanted to scream at him and fall into his arms and throw away all my pretence and beg him to kiss me. Beg to know why he hadn't kissed me before. I hated feeling like this, I had never felt like this before. Not for a man, not for anyone. He stole all my resolve and I hated him for it. Hated myself for allowing him the strength to take it.

I could feel the sting of tears begin to spill over my lashes. The salty warmth of them in stark contrast to the cool rain.

"If you stay, you'll only grow to hate me." I sobbed, "You'll see that I'm not capable of letting you in."

"That's not true, Amelia." He replied, taking a bold step forward, reaching out for me before pulling back in case I rejected him. "I've seen your warmth and compassion. You're not cruel. I don't understand where all of this is coming from?"

I backed away. "I can't do this, Jake...I wont do this."

I retreated into the trees. Running through the mud and rain, letting it lash against the backs of my legs. I could scarcely see in front of my eyes, but I knew the way back blind. I could hear him calling out my name, unable to keep up with me. But he pursued me, regardless. With his healing bones, he ran behind me Begging me to stop.

"Amelia! Please!!!" He called, his voice fading out beneath the falling rain. "Stop! Please, don't do this!"

I reached the clearing at the front of the cabin. My body burning from the exertion and my breath caught in my lungs. Before I had chance to regain my composure, I felt his body against mine. Wet and solid. Heaving breaths as he spun me around, forcing me to look at him.

"Don't you run away from me like that again!"

He was furious. A rage the likes of which I'd never known could exist burning in the delicate tremble of his lip. I was too weak to protest.

"If you ever do that again I will always follow you, do you understand me?!" He shook me, hands wrapped around my shoulders as I gazed at the fire in his eyes. "I swear it, I'll follow you to the ends of the earth woman!!!"

Still, he wouldn't kiss me. Just let the rain fall upon us as he held me close. Breathing into my parted lips. Our shared breath turning to vapour in the freezing cold air.

"Because there's no one else to follow?" I said, my mouth desperately close to his.

"No." He replied harshly, turning his head to get a better look at me. "I had a girlfriend before all of this. We lived together in Nashville. She travelled with me when I had to go on tour. We were together for years. Maybe I would have married her, if I'd been given the chance."

"Why are you telling me this?!" I didn't want to hear it, I didn't want to hear about the way he had loved another.

"Because." He swallowed hard, "Even if she came back, even if she appeared to me right now like none of this had ever happened....I would still follow you."

I couldn't feel my fingers, or the tip of my nose. A flash of lightening streaked above, illuminating the darkness on the ground. For a moment his face lit up and I could see the conviction there.

He meant it.

But still, I wouldn't have it. "You don't know what you're saying."

"Oh, don't I?" He clenched his jaw. "You don't know a damn thing about what I know. You don't get to tell me how I feel. I might be afraid to be alone, but I'll do it if that's what you truly want. I'd leave just make you happy."

Nobody had ever held me like this. So securely. So aggressively soft. Like he could shake the life out of me if he so desired, but wouldn't.

"You wont even kiss me." I replied so pitifully, speaking so quietly a part of me hoped that he wouldn't hear me over the mounting thunder.

"And have you slap me across the face for taking such a thing?" He replied, almost laughing at me. "Would you have kissed me back if I had? I might not have kissed you yet, but I've imagined it. At night, when I know you're on the other side of that wall. And in the morning when you're sat at that table. I wanted to kiss you the other night when we got drunk and I could have used it as an excuse. Every time you wrinkle that nose and those freckles connect I want to kiss you. When you curl up by the fire to read, I want to kiss you. When I see you going out there to make sure the animals are safe, I want to kiss you. Ok?"

"Ok." I breathed, not an ounce of fight left in me.

He kissed me in the rain. In the storm that was brewing. His lips covered in raindrops and mine in tears. A kiss so desperate, so forcefully full of need I let him wrap his broken body around mine. I let him clutch me to him, whether it would hurt him or not. The heat of his tongue against mine was like the lightening had descended from the sky above and struck me where I stood. The gentle murmur of his whimpers in harmony with mine. I could feel his palm against my cheek, his thumb trespassing a slow stroke across it. I'd never been kissed like this before. Like I was in a black and white movie, my knee bent just a little to keep me from falling. He kissed me like he was starved. With gentle intention, but intensifying pressure as his tongue slipped further into my mouth. Until I was sucking on it, grappling at his shirt to tear it from his flesh.

"Fuck, ahhhh..." I stopped myself. "No, no... we can't..."

He was panting as he pulled away, his lips a little swollen from the pressure of being against mine.

"We don't have to, just don't push me away. Please? Don't do that... Sssshhh, come here..."

My eyes flitted over towards the store. Of all the medical supplies I'd sequestered, none of them included birth control. Something I never would have given any credence to before. But now I was dulled with the thought and the fear of him spilling inside me and putting a baby where there didn't need to be one. Not now.

"No, it's not that..." I clung to him. "I stopped taking my birth control. I didn't think I needed it..."

His face washed over with realisation. "Oh."

His smile was going to lead me down a murky path. I knew it. I would've died for the way he smiled at me in that moment. Like I was the sweetest thing alive.

"Not tonight, then." He whispered, his mouth moving against my ear. "Tonight, we can do other things."

.

.

.

@caprisunsister @thewritingbeforesunrise @takenbythemadness @katuschka @its-interesting-van-kleep @lvnterninthenight @writingcold @jakekiszkasbuttsweat @edgingthedarkness @velveteencatch @lyndz2names @nina-23-45 @itsafullmoon @vikingisthenewsexy

[thefirsthogokage]

(Link to Tweet)

[Image ID: A tweet from Jenny Klein that reads:

Now 100 days into the strike, here is a roundup of places you can donate to help entertainment worker relief (all workers not just WGA) - [Click this sentence to go to the Google document] #WGAstrong #unionstrong

/End ID]

In case you can't open the link:

We are more than 75 days into the WGA strike, and now SAG-AFTRA has joined us too. Unite Here 11 hotel workers have been out all month. Teamsters and IATSE have been out of work. Here's some funds you can donate to to support everyone. I will update this often as more funds pop up!

WORKER SUPPORT

THE UNION SOLIDARITY COALITION FUND

TUSC is raising money for direct aid to IATSE and Teamsters crew -- they are notably covering people’s health insurance premiums while they’re out of work. Donate here. [501c3 - tax deductible]

ENTERTAINMENT COMMUNITY FUND

Most importantly, EntertainmentCommunityFund.org gives financial aid to entertainment workers all over the industry, both WGA and non-WGA. It's a big source of assistance for IATSE people especially. [501c3 - tax deductible]

SAG-AFTRA FOUNDATION

The SAG-AFTRA Foundation provides financial assistance to members of their union in need. https://members.sagfoundation.org/donate [501c3 - tax deductible]

HUMANITAS GROCERIES

Humanitas Groceries For Writers. This helps staff writers and other early career WGA members with $100 grocery gift cards. Donate here (and select Groceries For Writers from the dropdown): https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=AVJ6TL2YYPX2A

INEVITABLE FOUNDATION

Inevitable Foundation has a financial aid fund for WGA writers with disabilities. [501c3 - tax deductible] You can donate to support here: https://www.inevitable.foundation/emergency-relief-fund-donate?form=webdonate

GREEN ENVELOPE GROCERY AID

WGA captain Joelle Garfinkel helps run a grocery aid fund for entertainment workers. You can learn more about it here: https://twitter.com/msjoellegarf/status/1678522919780069377 Donate by sending money on venmo to @ Joelle-Garfinkel and if you need aid you can apply by emailing greenenvelopegroceryaid@gmail.com

FOOD BANK GROCERIES FOR ACTORS/WRITERS

World Harvest Food Bank in Mid City LA is giving away free groceries to writers and actors on strike. You can donate to support those efforts here: https://www.worldharvestla.org/donate-now [501c3 - tax deductible]

UNITE HERE 11 MUTUAL AID STRIKE FUND

Unite Here 11 hotel workers, who staff many of the hotels used by the major studios for production, are on strike. If you would like to donate to their strike fund, you can do so here: https://www.unitehere11.org/donate-to-the-unite-here-local-11-strike-mutual-aid-fund/

MOTION PICTURE TELEVISION FUND

MPTF (formerly known as the Actors Fund) provides a variety of services including grants for people on strike. You can donate to MPTF here: https://mptf.com/donate/ [501c3 - tax deductible]

HOLLYWOOD SUPPORT STAFF RELIEF FUND

This is an MPTF fund specifically for Hollywood assistants impacted by the strike. https://secure2.convio.net/afa/site/Donation2;jsessionid=00000000.app20023a?8217.donation=form1&8217_donation=form1&NONCE_TOKEN=12A38B8E80F6E4250888E4E44BE1190D&df_id=8217&idb=182923308&mfc_pref=T [501c3 - tax deductible]

PICKET LINE SUPPORT

PIZZA FUND - ALL LA LOTS

Comedy writer Jess Morse maintains a pizza fund that delivers to all of the Valley pickets. You can send money to @ Jess-Morse on Venmo or paypal.me/pizzastrikefund on Paypal ($10.97 buys one pizza)

FOX LOT FOOD FUND (LA)

I run a food fund to help feed our picket line at Fox, where I am an assistant coordinator. My Venmo is @ OlgaLexell and we love to use this money on catering from local businesses so we can support them while their business is down too.

SONY LOT FOOD FUND (LA)

The folks coordinating the Sony lot started a food fund via GiveButter. https://givebutter.com/sonypicketlines

NETFLIX LOT FOOD FUND (LA)

Lot coordinator Danny Tolli runs a Venmo fund for food and beverages at Netflix. You can Venmo him @ dctolli to contribute.

DISNEY LOT FUND (LA)

Lot coordinator Carlos Cisco started a Venmo fund for supplies like water at Disney, which has extremely high temperatures in the summer. Venmo him at @ Carlos-Cisco to contribute.

COMMUNITY SOLIDARITY PROJECT (LA)

CSP has been delivering hot meals like breakfast burritos to all of the LA lots. Donate here: https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-entertainment-workers-on-the-strike-line

TARGET REGISTRY - ALL LA LOTS

Official Target registry run by the WGA West Lot Coordinators. This is to get supplies for our check-in stations, ranging from snacks to first aid to garbage bags and beyond. https://www.target.com/gift-registry/gift-giver?registryId=079d5420-f35e-11ed-989e-f9022739cfe2&type=CUSTOM

NYC STRIKE SUPPLIES

NY Strike captain Steph Deluca offered to receive incoming funds to buy picket line supplies, which is something the WGAe needs help with. They are fundraising via her venmo @steph_deluca

FEEDING THE NYC STRIKERS

A group sending food and water to NYC strikers has set up a Cashapp and Paypal fund. You can send the money at $NYCStrikeFund via Cashapp or feednycstrikers@hotmail.com via Paypal.

[myfandomrealitea]

Ohmygod I don't remember if I sent the last message on anon FUCK. I'm if I didn't, I hope you don't mind responding privately? Sorry

No worries! You sent it on anon. I'm actually going to respond to most of it on this one and post the other one separately otherwise Tumblr is going to shit itself over how long the post would ultimately be.

Mental health is definitely included under medical causes. I'm always the first to say that drinking more water and going on walks aren't miracle cures and shouldn't be treated as such (especially by the anti-pharma crowd), but you'd also be surprised how easy it is for things like poor sleep to impact your quality of life over-all. I always advise people to at least start pursuing possible medical causes as a first step because medical healthcare can take a long time, and if there is a medical cause, some can progressively get worse while left untreated, which ultimately causes more harm.

(E.g; if the reason you're tired is because of low iron, that can also lead to hair loss, anemia, ect. So what was a small problem initially is now a bigger one.)

As for things like a more balanced diet, you don't necessarily need to be spending 'extra' to accomplish that. Canned vegetables, for example, are often cheaper than their fresh counterparts and still as nutritious, although you do have to be mindful of added sodium and sugar in some of them. In some places legumes and protein-dense vegetables are cheaper than meat, which makes for an affordable increase in protein intake. You can also purchase supplements if actual groceries are too expensive in your area. Not a miracle cure, but if you are falling behind on certain vitamins and minerals, they can be beneficial. Everyone's circumstances and available means are different, so its largely about shopping around and figuring out what can work for you.

There are also options like food banks, 2Good2Go, Olio, and checking with your local supermarkets to see if they participate in discounted produce boxes or other discounted deals. If you have the storage space, couponing is also a pretty valuable option. You can also check local area groups on Facebook for things like freezer and cupboard clear-outs.

It is, unfortunately, more work and effort and thinking, but unfortunately a lot of self-improvement or 'getting better' is a catch 22 like that. The slightly helpful news is there's a lot of resources available for help and guidance through that sort of thing, from planning out balanced meals to lists of which stores are known to offer things like discounted produce boxes.

As for companionship while undertaking tasks, that's actually a pretty common feeling and need, and there are lots of ways to fulfil that without necessarily obliging a real person or needing to reciprocate. For example in games like Love and Deepspace, there are options to 'work' and 'study' with your companion, for designated lengths of time. There are also pre-existing videos on Youtube that people have made to emulate companionship or a working environment with other people.

If you have a favorite celebrity, you can also have their past livestreams or interviews playing in the background, which provide both stimulation and emulated company. There are also online groups and Discord servers where you can request for people to keep you company while you work at the same time. I haven't participated in those for a while so unfortunately I don't have an up to date list of what's available for you, but its definitely something I could look into. Some of the fandom servers I'm in will have things like that available also, where people host livestreams or just sit on voice calls while they write fanfic or play the game.

If you're part of any existing groups or servers, it may be worth asking if that's something that would interest anyone else in the group.

This is obviously unqualified advice, but it does sound like you're experiencing a severe burnout coupled with potentially ADD or a similarly undiagnosed divergency. The unfortunate thing about burnout is that it can be particularly stubborn. As you've mentioned; sometimes 'resting' just doesn't actually fix it, because there's that anticipation that the rest is going to end and you're just going to go right back to the grind.

If your psychiatrist is a religious pusher, I'd humbly suggest self-guidance on this and turning to online resources or trying to seek out another specialist in person if that's at all possible. I've been down the whole 'religion will solve all your problems' fight with professionals, and honestly, I think people responsible for medical care who simply use it as an avenue to push religious agendas should not be allowed to practice.

I'll answer the other half on the original ask!

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

hi miss L, i have a spiritual/religious question and i don't know anyone else who could answer it.... since i was a kid i've been attracted to tarot, spirituality, mystical explanations of the worlds workings, astrology, all that good stuff. i never used to connect my spirituality to a single higher power, and i never had any issues with this. for a few years i've been wanting more than just a disturbingly accurate tarot spread and i feel compelled towards god. i'm not sure how to word it honestly! i keep getting messages all around me telling me the saint that watches over me, and that god is there too. so here's my issue.

whenever i reach out and pray or do any kind of ritual or reach out specifically to god or a saint, my life immediately starts going haywire. yesterday i set up a small shrine in my room for my dead kitty since i've been feeling better about her passing and i prayed a little. i asked for sign that i was going in the right direction, and hours after i prayed, our sink plumbing got clogged, my cat (living) ran out and had to be caught, my mom dropped a whole bowl of food, and i wasn't able to pick up groceries bc the bank cards wouldnt work. this never happens in my household, we've been joking that we're cursed. this happens everytime i try to reach out to god. the worst time was when my mom lost her job, dad crashed his car, and i kept having panic attacks out of the blue for a week. i freaked out and took everything i said back and bathed in salt water for hours hoping i could cleanse whatever happened to me. it worked and my life was back to normal the next day.

do you have any advice? i would love to put my trust in a higher power as i've never been religious before, but smthn is going wrong somehow.

thank you for reading, i love seeing you on the dash and your music is so soothing and nostalgic. much love!! <3 <3 <3 <3

so sweet, and caring, thankyou u//u...im sorry things have been difficult :< The following message does not in any way endorse the claim that i understand God, that God could ever be understood, or that any one of us should every try to understand the -inner workings- of God ! purely my feelings v v v

i relate to ur background cus i grew up w no religion, my parents didnt talk about any kind of woo-woo stuff, my dads dad was woo-woo AF and my dad haaaaated it so he rejected all of it so i was pree much just a blank slate. but for some reason i was just REALLY obsessed w magical thinking and the like. believed in god spirits nature deities angels demons magic aliens and i was totaly engrossed in ~my secret world~. i was kinda scared of religion tho i viewed it in a bad light since i was learning about it during the george bush post-9/11 era & for some reason my child self was rly interested in consuming critique of america , iraq war / westboro baptist church type stuff , from an outsider's perspective i saw religion as something american people used as justification for committing atrocities & crazy power trips , which, i mean.. anyways

it didnt help me trust God xD but many of my beliefs remained into my teens i just didnt have any outlet for them. so i got into astrology around 15/16, started learning more about tarot & occultish type things, crytstals, all those subjects intrigued me very much. but i felt the same way as you, like, something was still lacking from it, even when i got these super profound tarot readings, or read my birth chart a million times over looking for clues about ~wtf is this stupid life for~ , i never felt safe. never felt assured, never felt i could trust myself or my future. it was an odd period, early 20s. but then kinda same as u, as my knowledge on these topics expanded i started to notice the quality of Holiness a lot more. the more i learned about different religions the more i realized how connected it all was, and how religion connects to "the occult", and magic, light and dark, i find it very hard to put into words. i just started to find myself actually really earnestly believing in God in a way i never thought i could? Like reading the bible & being completely enthralled, i NEVER woulda thought. i started to feel way safer in the world even tho im still not "christian" technicaly. but i believe in jesus now and it makes me feel safe on a cellular level.

i believe the real jesus was wholly non judgemental and loved everyone no matter what, the thing that susses me out about Religious Institutions was always the judgement that can spawn from it. misses the point of everrything in my opinion.

its kinda wild actually cus when i used to be into like, trash reality tv ghost hunting shows, i remember there was one ep where this psychic was talking about how she always prays to jesus for protection before doing a reading or entering a haunted place. that really intrigued me cus i thought jesus and psychic automatically cancelled each other out. i think that moment rly opened up the rabbitehole and it was so mundane like wtf. still rememebr it tho!

sorry im really in a typing mood tonight.. So my next point was gonna be that, just because i started to really believe in god and jesus and really PRAY for protection & guidance, my life did not get easier xD like i would say the past 6 years have been nothing short of a shit show. my life was fucked before that too tho so its hard to compare, but still, its safe to say my shift in perspective actually brought a lot of chaos into mylife. the point of it, i feel, is that i had to dismantle it in order to truly Live in the frequency of trusting God. because this was new to me! i wanted to trust God, i put out the energy of seeking God, and God was like ok hold on tight..

So now i'm here all these years later like, oh yeah God is real and i love him and it's all real. it's CEMENTED into me lol. When i used to say i trust God it still felt like i was asking permission to be able to feel that way. but now i really really do. And messed up stuff will keep happening forever because there needs to be light & dark, there can't b one without the other. But now i have faith in a really personal way that i wld never attempt to transfer onto another like even by talking about these experiences & concepts i still feel like i don't want to prove anything. except that it's worth it to keep trying, i guess :]

and OK this is really just how i feel like take it with a grain of salt , but from what i've gathered, if you believe in energy entities & astral happenings & whatnot, well. it's my opinion that the invisible low frequency parasites that feed on many ppl's dread & fear, when they're attached to u and u begin to raise your vibration, they get very upset and throw a fit. like think of a demon being exorcised, u know, u imagine it having a total fit in a desperate fight for it's life. if ur appeasing the demon and letting it use you then of course it's going to keep things on an even keel, u kno?

taking a salt bath was a good thing to do tho like one of the best things <3 its also good to have crosses or your holy item of choice around the house, light white candles, organize clutter. pray a lot like every time u feel happy and safe or notice something beautiful say thanku to God.. talk to your angels and encourage them i pray a lot specifically to strengthen them, upgrade their armor n shih...i ask them to work for my loved ones, i try to be concentrated on them, visualize them around me all the time, visualize them standing guard outside every door. i feel this kinda stuff increases ur Holy EXP and over time your spiritual armor gets stronger, bad entities move on and things in life start really flow. the trust just has to b there first, and it will be, so long as u allow it <3

it just takes time, and like i said i dont want to prove anything or be The Convincer, but if u were already having feelings to go down this path i recommend not giving up and let God carry u through those tough situations instead of seeing them as an absence of God or God's Wrath. just keep praying cus it can't hurt right, even if it's just a way to occupy your mind with kind thoughts about your friends and family, there's no downside to prayer. its your own journey so u just gotta live it and feel it out ^^ but pls dont feel u are being punished by God or demons or anything else! So many "bad" things that happen end up being neutral or even "good" in the long run. We can never foresee the reasoning behind God's plan ~~~

yeah, this was a long one, wow...i drank a energy drink 12 hours ago i think it made me hyper.. well have a swell evening if ur reading this anon!! o also i liek to listen to psalms before bed to help me feel calm i feel like it helps bring in angels. i think i will do so now, thanks for the Q i hope things improve for u very soon. Good night anon < 3 3 3 PMD 9

[brighterdaysarebeforeus]

Miles and Pavitr chat part 2!! Also, you know that feeling you get when you’ve been away from home for a bit and then you finally go back? That’s Miles right now, hahahahaha

@hobiesgender @royallydivinelesbian

Masterlist

Miles was facedown on his bed when the door opened behind him. He almost didn’t want to get up; he had only been gone a week, but that entire week was spent with more physical exercise than Miles had ever had in his life, and at least seven nights of sleeping in awkward places and positions all over the city. His mattress was the most comfortable thing he’d ever laid on in his entire life, and there wasn’t really a lot he was willing to get up for right at that moment.

“I come in peace?” Came the quiet voice, and he turned over quickly for one of the very few (he could not stress that enough, the mattress was so comfortable…) things that could grab his attention right now. Pavitr was standing inside the doorway, looking uncertain as to whether he’d be welcomed in or not, and Miles felt himself smile. As he sat up again, Pavitr smiled more fully and closed the door behind him before taking a running jump onto the bed. He slammed into Miles, laughing at the slightly pained grunt he let out at impact, and Miles was reminded again how long it had been since he’d been able to hang out with Pav. “You didn’t finish telling me about the city, earlier!”

“Pav, you don’t even know!” Miles sat up quickly, beaming at his friend. “It was great, honestly it was. I ran into Hobie and his group like, almost right away. I was practically set, put in the city, man.”

“So Hobie is a person?” Pavitr asked, and Miles lit up.

“Yeah, Hobie’s a person, he’s a really cool guy!” He said. Pavitr lifted an eyebrow at him, and Miles missed the warning sign as he barreled on. “He runs this group of, like, kids and stuff? There were two kids, younger ones I mean, Peni and Ham. And there was Gwen and Margo, too, and they just, like, roamed the city and stuff?”

“Roamed the city?”

“Yeah, but in a helpful way?” Miles frowned as he thought of how to explain to Pavitr without going into the more…illegal things he’d noticed them all doing while he was with them. He wasn’t entirely sure what had happened to Hobie, yet, or how the group was supposed to work now that he’d been taken into custody by Miguel. “Like, Hobie would have us divide and conquer the marketplace, and we’d pick up groceries for the elderly in the city. And he had us volunteer in shifts at a food bank!”

“What’s a food bank?” Pavitr asked, and Miles couldn’t help himself; he delved into the whole adventure, starting from when he left (though being careful not to mention how he’d made it out of the castle in the first place) and segueing into his week with the whole group. He even told Pavitr about the close call they’d had with the guards, when they’d had to split up because they’d almost gotten caught squatting in an abandon apartment complex, and he’d gotten stuck following Gwen and Peni over rooftops.

“That shit was scary, though,” he told Pavitr, who was staring at him with wide eyes, “but only because some of those buildings are so tall! And, like, Gwen and Peni had absolutely no qualms about it. I couldn’t get shown up by a twelve year old!”

“But across the roof?”

“I know!” Miles laughed. “But like, Hobie took forever to get back to their base, and like halfway through I started getting worried, cause like, what if he’d gotten caught then, you know? It was wild, man.”

“You really liked this guy, huh?” Pavitr asked softly, and Miles groaned as he covered his face in his hands. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk so much about someone before, Miles. You spent a whole week with one guy and you suddenly can’t stop talking about him?”

“There were other people there too!” Miles protested. Pavitr shrugged playfully, shaking his head to contradict Miles. “Didn’t you hear about Margo? Or Gwen? C’mon, man, I just finished telling you about a whole chase scene with Gwen and Peni, I’ve talked about the rest of the group!”

“Not as much as you’ve talked about Hobie.” Pavitr sang his name out teasingly, and Miles groaned even louder. He fell back against the bed again, covering his face with his hands while Pavitr laughed good-naturedly at him. “Come on, Miles. There were, like, eight people here, at the palace, for almost three weeks specifically to appeal to you for marriage, and absolutely none of them got you going on and on about them. You even ran away to get a moment’s peace!”

“That wasn’t exactly — ”

“And then!” Pavitr said loudly, as if to cover Miles’s attempt at defending himself with his own words. “And then! You come back, and your focus is not on meeting with your parents to discuss what you saw, no! You don’t want to talk about how you got out of the castle, or what you saw in the city, why would you? Your one and only trip out into the general population on your own, and you don’t even want to take two minutes to assure your best friend that you’re ok!” Miles protested that, sitting up so quickly a bone popped in his lower back, but Pavitr was on a roll; there was no stopping him. “Nope, your focus is on making sure that everything turned out ok for Hobie!” There was a pause, finally, as Pavitr took a breath and Miles stared at him.

“Are you done?” He asked, and Pavitr snorted. Miles did the same, the both of them collapsing into giggles together. “Like, was that it? Are you finished now? Got it all out of your system?”

“Shut up!” Pavitr whined, smacking him gently. “I’m just saying.” Their giggles died down, and they sat in silence for a moment before a though occurred to Miles.

“Do you think he’s mad at me?” He asked, and Pavitr hummed questioningly. “Hobie.” Pavitr rolled his eyes so hard that his head followed through with the motion, mouthing Hobie’s name as mockingly as he could; Miles ignored him completely to stare at the ceiling, brows furrowed in concern. “Do you think he’s mad, because I lied?”

“Did you lie though?” Pavitr asked. He titled his head back and forth as he thought about it, lips pursed together. Miles watched him from where he started laying down again, waiting for him to come to a verdict. “You just didn’t tell him you were royalty, right? Does that count as a lie?”

“I mean, I guess?” Miles shrugged. “Lie by omission, maybe. But, I mean, I did, sort of, maybe, possibly tell him my name was, uh…” he trailed off, rubbing the back of his head and avoiding Pavitr’s intense look as he muttered, “I may have told him my name was Michael.”

“Oh, then yeah, probably.” Pavitr said. “He’s probably mad. Sorry, Miles.” Miles sighed and closed his eyes, dropping his head against the mattress.

He hoped, that if he saw Hobie again, he wouldn’t be too mad at him.

[juniperhillpatient]

How’s it going @juniperhillpatient ?

So I watched the two most recent scream movies for the first time this weak. Starting on Friday night and finishing on Saturday morning. They were entertaining, see I’ve only ever watched the original first one years ago but the connections between the films were interesting.

To get to the question, I recall that one of your Azutara AU ideas is a Scream fic ( along with the IT Au). In it I think one of your post in the past stated that Azula would be (slightly) based on Sam? If so, would that then make Ozai Billy Loomis? If so, I’ve got to say depicting Ozai as a deranged murder would be oddly appropriate. What with the emotional and physical abuse of both his spouse and his kids, along with the attempted genocide and all.

Oh! I also greatly enjoyed todays (well yesterdays) chapter in Happenstance. I’ve got to say though, I’m with Azula, Katara not turning in Hama is a very… injudicious decision. What happens when Hama decides to no longer go after corrupt officials like she did in chapter (one of whom has a family!) and she decides to go after innocent people (as she did in canon). What if Hama decides to escalate from just hostage taking? What if lives of innocents, of children even are lost her quest? That’s starts of with noble intentions, but become corrupted. Becoming in reality just hate of Fire Nations under the façade of environmentalism? Are Katara/Yue/Jet prepared for that possibility?

Or would Jet, Katara, and Yue not care cause those innocent people are Fire Nation? Naw just using rhetoric for Katara and Yue. They obviously would care. But Jet? Him I’m not 100% sure about.

It would have been better to get rid of threat (Hama) earlier on by turning her over. Than again, some police can be corrupt (though I use the world loosely) so maybe they were also right not to turn her over?

It’s a bit of a head scratcher, ain’t it. Which is awesome by the way. It’s fun reading these little moral quandaries and philosophical question in a sitcom fic. Questions like, is it okay to harm others we deem immoral to bring about ends that we believe to be an objective good? Can intrinsic good come from an extrinsic evil? Essentially, does the ends justify the means? And how far is too far? Happenstance is great in that and In all ways! Especially horror, romance (it’s Azutara so that’s a given 😉) and comedy.

Thank you for indulging my ramblings. I hope everything is well on your end. I recall a post from earlier speaking about your cat preventing you from cashing a check at your bank. Your bank decided to come to you right? To give a house call as it were? It’s the polite thing to do after all.

745 voice of the people

Hello! It could be going better. I am suffering because I’ve been sick on & off for like a fucking month & it’s starting to feel like God hates me 🥲 However, it could also be going worse. My mommy gave me money for groceries even though I told her not to because she is the best & she knows how much work I’ve missed due to illness so I have lots of good food & also hot chocolate with marshmallows 💜🙏

Anyway I am sure you didn’t expect that TMI when you asked how it’s going but I’m a dramatic rambly bitch 😌 I hope you are doing good yourself 💜

I am so happy you watched the new Scream movies 🍿 Most iconic series of all time honestly. Yes, Ozai would be a version of Billy Loomis in this AU! However, keep in mind this is all just ideas & not a real project in the works just yet 😉

Anyway I don’t have too too much to add to your analysis on the moral dilemma from last week’s Happenstance because I want to purposefully leave it open. I like posing these quandaries without creating a firm resolution just like there wouldn’t necessarily be in real life sometimes! Of course - Hama may just show up again. We will see!

I will say - Katara & Yue would definitely feel guilty if someone innocent got hurt because of their choice not to turn Hama in. Also, even though Jet hates the Fire Nation, he is dating Zuko & friends with several Fire Nation characters by now including pretty much best friends with Azula. So…. Could he really justify it if innocent Fire Nation civilians got hurt at this stage of the story? Tricky. Unlike Katara & Yue I don’t think he’d have much trouble justifying it if someone like Ichiro or Daisuke got hurt. While the girls would feel guilt over anyone being harmed, I think Jet would have a more pragmatic attitude if the people getting hurt were doing a lot of harm. The only reason he stood up to Hama in the end was that she hinted at plans to “subdue” Katara & Yue if they didn’t go along with her ideas. So, he was probably the least opposed to kidnap of the three. But I don’t think any of them would be okay with it if Hama hurt innocent people down the line - which is not out of the realm of possibility if it served a cause she cared about.

Anyway- I said I wouldn’t add & then I did! I love rambling about my story too much 😁

I seriously love your analysis & thoughts on this head scratcher! Thank you SO much for sharing 💜💜💜

[beardedmrbean]

Saying this on anon because I don’t want to reveal the area I live in. Anyway, related to that shoplifting post, here in Texas we had our grocery store H-E-B close down a store due to shoplifting. It was in the Killeen/Fort Hood area off of Rancier Dr which is a pretty poor area (right outside the gates of Ft Hood). My husband used to rent out there and we had been at that H-E-B a few times and even witnessed shoplifting. When H-E-B left, the local news criticized the grocery store because it created a “food desert”, there used to be one or two other grocery stores around but H-E-B had been the last one hanging on. Thankfully, from what we saw in their press release, they didn’t fire their employees, they were offered positions at nearby stores. So, no, shoplifting doesn’t affect the company, they’ll just pack up and move.

The line from "Going Postal" there about how when banks collapse bankers rarely wind up destitute, it hits the people they service is pretty spot on.

Popped this up on a different post, ran the story when it was new too, one bit really stuck out to me which is why I remembered it as clearly as I did.

That would be this part right here

Insurance companies, just like this shop are a business and after a certain point they will not cover your losses, they have people that need to be paid too.

Very much like one of the few not evil things to come from margret thatcher,

'problem with socialism is eventually you run out of other peoples money'

Problem with shoplifting is eventually stores pick up and leave because it's cheaper than staying open, now all the people that depended on those places don't have them and they're double screwed.

You're not gonna get a lot of the people that went and made this possible to feel bad about it, they only took a cup of water out of the swimming pool there was still plenty there, right up till the 10,000th person took that last cup of water out they all said one cup isn't that much.

It's not, but 10 thousand people saying that makes it a whole lot.

[learningbluejaymentality]

A pretty significant part of my job is visiting new developments in meatspace (as opposed to staring at them virtually all the damn time for the rest of my job). This has had a very subtle but very potent radicalizing effect. I drive a Town vehicle to these places, park, and then survey stormwater infrastructure on foot. Many of these places, especially the most expensive developments, were never designed with humans in mind. Even the grocery store I visited yesterday was clearly not designed for humans to exist there. It only took into account the needs of cars. It had multiple sprawling parking lots, extensive signage within those lots, and two separate frontage roads to separate it from the high speed stroads its property abuts. More subtly, it was actively hostile to pedestrians, with knee high prickly hedges banking all the grassy spaces surrounding the lots, and the lot islands, to discourage walking anywhere but on the asphalt with the cars. And the thing about exploring these places as a human on foot, really spending time in them looking for things and investigating how they're laid out, navigating them with a map and a high vis vest, is you see other humans existing in them, too. You see the obviously broke college student with a poorly patched reusable grocery bag navigating across the ocean of pavement with wary eyes. You see the elderly woman with the mobility aid crossing the six lane stroad at the light, the pain on her face making it obvious that she can't comfortably move quickly enough to make it across in the time a beg button will purchase. You see the helmetless student athlete biking in to his shift, making truly remarkable time on a road designed to kill him in the gap between school and work. You see the middle aged immigrant on a bike three sizes too small pedaling for his life to make it through an intersection that was made with no consideration of even the existence of people like him. This is a place to get food for gods' sake! Cars don't need food, people need food! But owners and designers of places like that would rather wage a class war on people who can't afford a car than let them get food as human beings. You also see the cops, parked across three stalls each in the shade, idling their engines and running their air cons until the condensation drips off their vehicle, puddles, runs to the curb and drips down an inlet. And you go to that inlet and make some notes and hope that this cop is too lazy to bark at someone dressed like a hippy trying not to glare at them as you widely circle around the same police vehicle for the fourth time in the three hours you've been surveying and working while this cop runs their air con in an idling SUV big enough to make you wonder if they would've even seen the old lady with the mobility aid crossing at a light before running it. In the back of a lot someone who ought to protect you sits, on standby to protect the capital of wealthy food sellers who care more about car ownership than human beings.

[fairycosmos]

my mother prioritizes going to church over buying groceries. she works five days a week, and goes to church five days as well, or sometimes more. i cant sleep because of the hunger and i hate the fact that I have no control over this.

that's insanely fucked up!! im so so sorry you have to put up with this - that's so traumatic and abusive, i have no idea what would possess her to act that way and neglect her kids basic needs like this. i really don't think this is normal behaviour, she genuinely needs help. is there anyone at all you can reach out to for help in your community about this - if you're underage, please alert a teacher, a family member or call child services/ the authorities. they may be able to offer extra support and intervention, work with your mam to ensure that she is providing you with the care you deserve. i understand that this is a big, nerve wracking step to take for a multitude of reasons and it is completely ok to process those negative emotions for what they are - it's ok to be scared. it's also ok (and absolutely necessary) to put yourself first. i know it doesn't feel that straight forward, often it's not - im sure there is a lot of nuance and pain involved with your dynamic with your mother than im not aware of you. i dont wanna undermine or overlook that for a second. if you need to work up to seeking support, thats fine. i just want you to know that you can help break this cycle, little by little. i also hope you consider looking into any food banks, soup kitchens and communal resources that may be be able to help you out, even just with food and simple necessities. seriously, i can't stress enough how messed up this is and how much better you truly deserve. she doesn't seem like she is in her right mind, and it is very very unfair of her to expect you to just take this treatment. if there's anything i can do for you, or if you just need a friend, please feel free to give me a message whenever you want. sending you a massive hug. X

resource / resource / resource/ resource

[beansnpeets]

I need to scream for a minute on this whole short-term rental thing going on right now in BC. This gets very angry and depressing, that's your warning. I'm so mad.

Landlords are screaming and crying and whining about how their investments are going to come crashing down on them because of the new rules about short-term rentals and I can't help but scream and cry back at them because they're the fucking reason the housing market is so fucked right now.

Like yeah. Your investments COULD come crashing down on you. THAT'S THE POINT OF INVESTMENTS. THAT THERE IS RISK. IF THERE WAS NO RISK IT WOULDN'T BE A REAL INVESTMENT ANYMORE. Like all these fucking rich pricks want to whine and complain that it's too much risk and they can't afford to blah blah blah, like okay and??? Did you think that nothing would ever change and you would just keep making more and more money without anything else happening?? Don't you realize that the more money you make off the poor, the less money the poor have??????? Like the entire reason investing works the way it does is because of risk. If there was absolutely no risk involved you wouldn't be able to make tons of money off of it. That's literally the point.

I hope the rest of the provinces follow suit and ban short-term rentals the same way BC is doing. Force these fucking assholes to sell. That way there will be a boom in properties for sale and prices will go down.

I'm a legal assistant. I make almost $20/hr. I can't afford a single rental in my rural community without a roommate. I can't even pay my own expenses right now without my partner. The most the bank will give me for a mortgage is $75k. Do you think there is a single house for sale in my area for that? There's one, and it's a fucking dump, the foundation is crumbling out from underneath it. I have a "real job" and I still can't afford to live. Everyone that keeps saying we need to just work harder and get real jobs and whatever else is so delusional. As if working at McDonald's isn't a real job?? Do you go to McDonald's? Do you expect there to be at least one or two competent adults preparing food? Food preparation. Fucking food preparation, which, if done wrong could be incredibly bad. You want that to be run entirely by high school students? Okay, then you can only go there in the evenings and on weekends. Sorry, no adults want to work here during business hours because they all have "real" jobs so if you want your Big Mac at noon on a Tuesday you're out of luck. And because they're children, they may not make the right choices and they may prepare your food wrong and it could make you sick. Adults make that mistake too, but children are still learning and growing and the chances they'll make that mistake are probably higher.

Those of us with the "real" jobs still don't make enough anyway. Prices are so badly inflated. Groceries cost more now than ever before. Gas prices are insane and it costs me $20 every time I drive to and from work because I have to live a half hour away from the town I work in because it's cheaper rent here and it's only cheaper because there's nothing in this town and the house I live in is hardly 600 sq.ft. I drive a 30 year old truck that's falling apart because I certainly can't afford a new vehicle and even if I could, they only last like 5 years anyway and are incredibly unreliable.

Oh and let's not even get into the insane crime rates and drug problem here. My town is second in the province for crime. A town of less than 4000 people is SECOND in the entire province for crime. The first being Thompson. Most businesses in town function with their doors locked all day and you have to knock or ring a doorbell to be let in. You can't just walk into most places anymore. You see broken windows all over town, lots of businesses have their windows boarded up. Lots of places are also closing earlier than they used to because if they're open after dark there's more crime. The grocery stores have security guards posted by the doors to deal with shoplifters. When I worked at a gas station I had a guy steal a carton of smokes out of my hands in broad daylight, not even hiding his face from the cameras. Also at the gas station I'd caught multiple people trying to use credit or debit cards that they had stolen and when the machine insisted they use the pin and they didn't know the pin they would leave. We had hundreds of dollars in theft the year that I was there of just drinks and snacks.

We ran into our local MP a few months ago, Jon's family knows him, and he was chatting with us about the budget and spending and he was SO proud of himself for a bunch of things that he didn't even have anything to do with and he was so proud of the budget and where money was being spent and blah blah blah, but I was sitting there boiling and seething and I wanted to scream at him and it took so much self-control not to because he is so out of touch and unfortunately he was re-elected this recent provincial election and I'm bitter about it. I'm so fucking bitter about it.

We are already working harder than any generation before us and we make so little. Things are worse financially than the great fucking depression and they want to tell us to just work harder?????? I'm going to explode. I'm so beyond angry. I am so fucking sick and tired of this and there's nothing I can do. I'm entirely powerless to all of this and that's gotta be the most frustrating part. The fact that things are falling apart around me and I can't do fucking anything to fix it. My future looks so fucking hopeless at no fault of my own. I've done everything I was supposed to do and yet here I am. Can't get by. Can't do the shit I want to do. Probably won't have a retirement and will have to work until I die or something.

[angelictyphoon]

🎲 for meryl

43. a bloody kiss

There hadn’t been time. Between the series of disasters that beset Jeneora Rock, crashing (literally) into Wolfwood at the waystation, and cutting their way through the belly of a Grand Worm, then cramming themselves into a tiny news van for a journey through the seemingly endless sea of dunes and rocky plateaus, there hasn’t been opportunity for conversation. 

Roberto has refrained from making any commentary for once. Nicholas could likely sense it too, but he hadn't been there. 

On the surface, Meryl seems fine. Ever ready to snap at her passengers in the rear seat whenever their bickering got too heated or rowdy. Vash recognizes that newfound sadness all too well. He can see it when she looks away from the sand sea stretched out before them, when her eyes linger in the rearview for a touch too long. The kind of sadness a person hides like a bird with a broken wing. She's dealing with it in her own way. 

He resolves to talk to her when they reach the next town. It’ll be a chance for them to restock on supplies. Food, water, ammo. Roberto and Nicholas go off down some other avenue in search of less dire necessities (namely more cigarettes and alcohol), but still necessities, according to them.

“Here, let me carry some of those,” Vash offers, extending a hand to take several of the grocery bags hanging off Meryl’s arms. Not all of them– she is perfectly capable of carrying her own burdens too. “You and Roberto have helped me out a lot.” 

More than they should have, more than he has any right to deserve. That’s not his focus right now, but the least he can do is share some of the weight.

“Back in Jeneora…” The bags hanging from his fingertips rustle as he twists one way and then the next in search of the right words. He can see Meryl’s head snap back towards him with a protest burgeoning in her eyes. “Hold on, now! I’ve got a lot of experience dealing with this sort of thing.”

With despair. With failure. With wishing the past could play out differently. He smiles his sad smile as they walk, two pairs of feet kicking up dust down the path. 

“Turn it into something else. Something that gives you the strength to keep moving.” To do better, he does not need to add, because Meryl does not need to be told what she already knows.

Meryl chews on her bottom lip with a frown. "But Tonis…"

"Is still alive," he finishes. "Sometimes that just has to be enough."

Delnashville is a bigger town than most. They have their own bank, their own radio tower, a fully-staffed hospital, several neighborhoods and the retailers and grocers needed to support them. It lies on the cusp of becoming a proper city, somewhere between urban and rural. 

More people means they run the risk of a higher chance that someone will recognize the Humanoid Typhoon. Vash has been scanning for the spark of recognition ever since they stepped foot into town. Maybe they had been overly optimistic. Certainly they were dealing with an issue that constantly saddled it's only a matter of time. 

Vash surveys the open windows of multi-story buildings, linens on their lines, down to cross-armed men standing in the shadows of awnings with menacing stares. Greed is as potent as any drug. He can feel their hunger trained on him. Sixty million could change the trajectory of an entire town. For a smaller crew, it meant they would never want for anything again.

"Y'know, I think we should go this way," he announces suddenly, hip-nudging Meryl in the direction of a narrow back street with plenty of cover. 

"Hey! That's Vash the Stampede! Don't let him get away!"

"Hahaha…right now," Vash laughs nervously, lifting both hands to hurriedly usher Meryl forward as his pursuers tromp in their direction. Just in time for the first desperado to level their revolver at him while they attempt to flee.

"Ahh! Wait, don't shoot, don't shoot!" Vash yells, disappearing behind a cloud of splintered crates and exploding vegetable matter. 

“Vash!”

He can feel Meryl grappling with the shoulders of his coat as she attempts to drag him behind a cluster of crates and barrels.

“Oh no…No, no no, you’re covered in blood.”

“That’s right…I’m sorry, Meryl. This…might be it…Please…” Vash groans, fisting into the front of her shirt.

“Wh…What can I do? What should I do?!” 

“Just. Come here. Closer. I just want to give you one last thing…”

Her face is pinched with trepidation, but Meryl nevertheless leans in close. She mouths the words ‘anything,’ and ‘not like this’ under the same breath. Vash pulls her down the rest of the way into a kiss.

And then she starts pounding the sides of his face and torso with a flurry of angry punches.

“It’s KETCHUP!”