#a lot of our plants are fine for cats to eat but not this one

[uygfiug]

:( cramps :(

[writeandsurvive]

Ride or die ~ Alden Parker

This was supposed to be pure fluff (which it is), but before I know it, I'm writing soft smut lol. I'm not sorry about it.

Summary: Alden wants a new plant (yet another one)

Warnings: fluff, smut, established relationship, age gap (implied), sex on the couch, p in v, dominating!Alden, romantic!Alden, teasing, gentle banter, short!Reader (I, myself, being 155cm)

Going shopping with Alden is never a good idea. The house always ends up with a new plant. It doesn't matter what you're shopping for, in the first place. Or even if you go somewhere where there's no plants to buy. He always finds a way to worn you down, giving you his saddest puppy eyes and/or most charming smile. You kinda hate him for it.

"The greenhouse is full, Den. Wait for one of them to die."

"You know the goal is to keep them alive, right? Plus, it's a plant I don't have yet."

You do love how he's passionate about plants, that's actually one of the many things that made you fall in love with him. But what you don't like is having to take care of them when he gets caught up with work. He does his best to take care of them himself, especially after the second plant you killed, but being a federal agent asks a lot, and sometimes you find yourself on plant duty.

"And you know the patio was also supposed to be for me to paint, right?" You mimicked him.

"You still got space! One tiny plant won't change that." He took his eyes off the road for a second to look at you with a soft smile. You felt his hand on his thigh, squeezing.

"You're annoying." You rolled your eyes, and saw his soft smile turning into a proud grin. He knows he's winning, not that you could forbid him to buy a new plant anyways.

You take your phone from your pocket, to look at something. Alden pulls over his favorite store to get plants, and gets ready to leave the car when you grab his arm to stop him. "You changed your mind?" He starts showing off his puppy eyes.

You show him your screen, "He's cute, isn't he?"

He squints his eyes to look, and realizes you're showing him a picture of a cat. "No!" He says.

"You're getting a plant, I'm getting a cat."

"Babe, a cat will destroy the greenhouse! Eat my plants!"

You giggle, "I know!"

"You're mean." He pouts like a child. "If you want a pet, let's get a dog! A turtle! A bird!" His eyes go wild as he looks at you again, like he never thought about getting birds before.

"No! Absolutely not! No birds in the house!"

He growls. "Fine. But no cat either!"

"Then let's go home, before our groceries go bad."

Alden leans over to you, his puppy eyes locked on you. "Please," he whispers close to your ear, knowing it's your weakness. "You promised my old man you'd always make me happy." You laugh at that and he follows, knowing how ridiculous this is.

"I'm sure Roman would be on my side for this."

"He's always on your side! I'm starting to think he loves you more than me."

"Well, I wasn't a juvie."

"That's a cheap shot!" He pinches your thigh as a quick punishment, making you jump on your seat.

"Parker! It hurts!" You slap his arm.

"Indeed. So I'm getting a baby plant to make myself feel better." He kisses your lips, before nipping it and leaving the car. You love this man so much it hurts.

~

"You better help me put the groceries away before spending an hour finding a place for your plant."

"Yes ma'am." Alden always carries most of the groceries to the house, because he doesn't want you to carry too much, even though you perfectly can. You stopped arguing with him on that a long time ago though. "Focus on carrying my baby." He says handing you the plant.

"That's something you say to your pregnant wife. And I'm neither pregnant nor your wife." You walk away after an extra sway, without waiting for him, knowing he's grunting with a smile as you do.

You reach the apartment a moment before him, giving you time to hide the plant. He doesn't realize right away, as you both put the groceries away. Somehow, you always end up having to put stuff on the top shelf, despite your struggle to reach it. But you know Alden likes it. He enjoys the view as you tiptoe - especially when you're wearing barely nothing. And of course, he takes the opportunity to come behind you. His arm follows yours, his hand brushing as he grabs the box of cereal and puts it there. His other hand puts your hair away so he can kiss your neck. "Everytime." You smile and lean into him, angling your head to give him better access.

"Advantage of dating a pocket size woman." His arms wrap around you, one of his hands softly stroking your neck. You stretch your arms behind the both of you, so your hands can touch his magnificent hair, deserving a soft 'hmmm' from him.

"Are you sure you're okay with us not getting married?" He softly asks, kissing the top of your head.

"Yes, Alden." You turn around to face him, wrapping your arms around his neck. "I told you I'm fine, I understand why you don't want to get married again, and we don't need that to be in a committed relationship." You kiss him, and his hand comes to hold and stroke your cheek while the other holds you tight against him. As the kiss intensifies, you can feel a bulge in his pants and if his hand slid into your panties, he could feel how wet you are getting.

But before it can get really interesting, Alden pulls away with a smirk on his face and walks out of the kitchen. "You cannot be serious right now!" You shout at him and hear him laugh. But you don't say anything more, knowing he's coming back any second, asking about his plant. So you just walk over to the couch, grab your book from the coffee table and settle there.

About twenty seconds later, Alden is in front of you, hands on his hip. "Where is it?"

"Where what is, dear?" You ask, not looking up from your book, even though you're absolutely not reading.

"Where is my baby plant?"

"Probably the same place my orgasm is."

Before you know it, the book is being thrown away and you're being pinned onto the couch, your wonderful boyfriend on top of you. "I'm gonna give you that orgasm, but" he links your wrists together to put them above your head. "Those hands stay here. If I feel your fingers on me, I'll stop here and there."

"Bossy," you tease him, trying not to show how this is turning you on. You love it when Alden gets all dominating and controlling. It's something he discovered and developed with you, which makes it extra special. Like it's a part of him that belongs to you and you only. No one ever got to see him like this and hopefully no one ever will.

"You kiss me, I stop." He adds. "You come before I allow you, no orgasm for a week."

"That's not fair!" You whine.

"You whine again, and I stop. You talk back and I stop." He holds your face, "Are we clear?" You nod.

"Good girl."

You don't move as he undresses you just enough, before pulling his already hard cock out and pumping a few times. You'll never get tired of this, of him. He can act tough and controlling, but the man doesn't even need you to touch him to get an erection. This makes you feel powerful and you love it.

Alden starts rubbing his leaking tip against your clit, earning soft noises from you. He teases your pussy for what feels like forever. "You look fucking beautiful, losing your mind under me like this." All you want to do is beg him to fuck you, but scared it'd sound like a whine, you don't say anything but his name. "I've never loved my name more than when it comes out of your mouth." So you say it again, and again.

"Fuck me." You whisper.

"I'm not sure you deserve it." His cock is replaced by his thumb, that's moving extremely slowly. "Maybe I'll just jerk off on this pretty pussy, and get on with my day."

"Make me cum, and I'll tell you where the plant is."

"God, I hope you never get tortured." You immediately feel his thick cock sliding inside you, and you moan loudly. His body is completely on top of you now, he's pampering your face with kisses as he thrusts in and out of you. His eyes lock into yours and his arms crawl under yours and he intertwines his fingers with yours. "You were made for me, weren't you?"

"Yes, I was. Fuck Den, I'm close."

"Thank god cause I can't hold back much longer." He let go of one hand to rub your clit, making sure you're both cumming at the same time. You love how he allows himself to be loud as he milks deep inside you, this sends you over the edge and you match his volume.

After a few sex sessions when you started to date, you realized how he was forcing himself to be quiet when he reached his orgasm. You asked him about it and he confessed that he was told several times that he was too loud and it wasn't pleasant - mostly by his ex wife - so he forced himself to control his noises. Of course, you told him to never do that again with you and he hasn't since, especially when he noticed how much you loved it.

Alden lays on top of you, both catching your breath. He let go of your hands so you can hold him and stroke his back and hair. "You're my ride or die, baby." He confesses.

Ever since you had the marriage conversation, and he admitted not wanting to do it again, Alden has been making sure to let you know how committed he is, and how much he loves you, and that his decision has nothing to do with you.

"I know."

A few seconds later, he's looking at you, puzzled. "What?" You ask.

"I'm not your ride or die?"

You giggle but don't say anything. "You're annoying." He sits up, pulling his soft cock out of you, making a much bigger mess on the couch. You're quick to follow, grabbing his face and kissing him. "You're my ride or die, you crazy plant lover."

"The crazy part appeared because of you." He kissed you a little more. "Now, where is it?"

You laugh and tell him. You thought he was leaving you like this, but of course he comes back with his plant and a towel for you. "And just like that, I've been replaced." You roll your eyes.

"Be glad it's not with a younger woman--"

"If you pick someone younger, it'd be illegal, Mr Federal Agent."

As you called it, it took him about an hour to rearrange the greenhouse just to find the perfect spot for his new plant. An hour you spent on the leather couch in the greenhouse, switching between reading your book and looking at your handsome man. "Come." He extends his hand to you, so you take it and follow him to where the plant is now installed. "Name it." He says, hugging you from behind.

"Why me? It's your plant."

"Do you know what exactly it is?"

"Of course not, Alden."

He chuckles. "It's a Peacelily. It'll bloom into a beautiful white flower. And it's known to remove harmful toxins from the air."

"oh, really? That's nice!" You look closer at the plant.

"I want you to name it cause it's yours. It's you." You turn around to face him, "So pure and beautiful, who takes all the negativity away whenever you're around."

You knew Alden was romantic and loving, but he was taking it to another level with this. You're close to tearing up as you hug and kiss him. "I'm the luckiest girl in the world."

"You make my world better."

You kiss more and look at the plant again. "Bonnie."

"Bonnie?"

"Yeah, and maybe we could get a grumpy, older plant, put next to it and name it Clyde."

"I sense a subliminal message there but I'll ignore it."

You laugh and hug him tight.

[pukanavis]

Plum Blossoms and Snowflakes | Prologue 1

Mayoi: Aah, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.

I’m sorry for being alive, Chief—

Gyah!?

Urgh, I slipped on the snow and fell to the ground.

(Sigh…I don’t have the will in me to move right now.)

(I’m sorry, Chief. I didn’t consider how you’d feel and wound up making the wrong choice.)

(You should detest the person I am now. I’m nothing but a worm that isn’t worth keeping alive…!)

(Aah, it’s so cold. If I fall unconscious, engulfed by this snow, would my disgusting self be purified in the slightest?)

(Aaahhhh…)

???: —Uhm, are you alright?

Mayoi: Huh? The sound of a sweet voice? I must be hallucinating.

Fufufu…maybe an angel has come to take me away.

???: An angel? No, I’m—

Time: FlashbackーAfter school, a few days earlier Location: Yumenosaki Academy's garden terrace

Hajime: ♪～♪～♪

Ritsu: Looks like someone’s in a good mood.

Hajime: Ehehe, we’re doing a tea club activity for the first time in a while, so I can't help myself. I even ended up baking cookies in my excitement ♪

Ritsu: You really made this ordinary day feel luxurious. Can I have a cookie?

Hajime: Of course, have as many as you like~♪

An ordinary day, you say? That reminds me of the time last year that we role-played Alice in Wonderland here.

Ritsu: Oh, yeah. Ecchan asked us to play along and do some improv acting with him.

I played the Cheshire Cat but really, I’m more suited to be the Dormouse.

Oh, to do nothing but eat and sleep. Zzz, zzz…♪

Hajime: Fufu. I think I’m more like the March Hare.

We may not have a Hatter, but let’s enjoy this Mad Tea Party of ours.

Arashi: …Oh my? If it isn’t Ritsu-chan and Hajime-chan. Are you two doing club activities?

Ritsu: Nacchan, Mayomayo. What’re you doing here?

Arashi: We’re just out on a walk. We’ve been wandering around, making idle chatter and enjoying the day.

We won’t be able to do things like this once we graduate so we’ll have to make lots of memories to avoid leaving with any regrets. Right, Mayoi-chan ♪ 

Mayoi: Y-Yes. Though, I’m not very competent at communicating, so I end up as the listener much of the time…

However, Narukami-san keeps it at a pace I can follow so I’m able to enjoy myself too.

Ristu: Hmm, so you’re making memories, huh…?

Why don’t you join us then?

Mayoi: Join…you? In your tea party?

Ristu: Yeah. We’ve been enjoying an ordinary day of our own too. You’re fine with it, aren’t you, Haa~kun?

Hajime: You’re more than welcome to join us. Ehehe, this is feeling a lot more like Alice in Wonderland now.

Please have a seat. Alice, White Rabbit, I’ll have a cup ready for you in just a moment ♪

Arashi: Oh, it’s wonderful to be compared to Alice ♪

You don’t mind if I be Alice, do you, Mayoi-chan?

She’s simply adorable, and her name gives off a similar feeling to 'Arashi' ♪  I’ve always wanted to try being her at least once.

Mayoi: Of course, go ahead. Although…

It would be terribly arrogant for somebody the likes of me to be the White Rabbit. I’m more deserving of the role of the Caterpillar.

I’ll go and feed on the grass over there like a bug should.

Hajime: Grass? Ayase-senpai, you eat grass too?

Mayoi: “Too”...? Shino-san, you’ve eaten grass before?

Hajime: Yes, I come from a poor family, so it was a common source of food when I was a child.

Mayoi: O-Oh, I see. I apologise, it seems I made you touch on a difficult subject…

Hajime: Oh, there’s no need to apologise~. I’m the one that brought it up.

Besides, they’re memories that I look back fondly on.

It was exciting gathering wild plants with my family—like we were going on a treasure hunt. I also found interest in learning which plants were and weren’t edible.

But rather than grass, I have cookies for us to enjoy today.

I baked a large batch, so please help yourself ♪

Mayoi: Thank you. You’re very kind, Shino-san.

Ritsu: Look at you seducing your seniors again. Haa~kun, you really are a naughty boy, aren’t you? 

Hajime: I’m not trying to seduce anyone? Gosh…

Narukami-senpai, thank you for your patience. Here’s a cup of ‘Nacchan Tea’ for you.

Arashi: Thank you, Hajime-chan.

Mayoi: What is ‘Nacchan Tea’ ?

Hajime: It’s a herbal tea blended to Narukami-senpai’s tastes. Its floral flavour and the refreshing hit of mint are its stand-out qualities.

Would you like to try it, Ayase-senpai? Or would you rather a regular cup of tea?

Mayoi: No, I’d like to try ‘Nacchan Tea’...

Arashi: Nice going, Mayoi-chan.

Let’s take advantage of the beautification properties in ‘Nacchan Tea’ and become gorgeous together ♪

Next

[christinathezakumechanic]

A bit of a vent post but I just saw a post about how dog owners are not kept to the same standards as cat owners and shomehow cats are not damaging to the environment and only kill songbirds. This has just *really* gotten under my skin because I have lived in a community with rampant outdoor cats for years. its not the songbirds who suffer from the sheer destruction which cats can cause, its a massive amount of the ecosystem. When I was a kid my family got a pond and I was over the moon since back before we moved the area was just too hot to keep a pond, it would have needed to be topped off daily(or at least that was my parents excuse). At the time we found out that multiple neighbors were actually taking their ponds out because the cats in the area kept killing their pond fish. As a result one of our neighbors gave us their greater pond snails, accepting them was a mistake on our part because oh my god they will eat literally anything including any sort of plant we tried to keep in there, but that's something totally different. My parents didnt want to get fish for the pond because of the cats, but that lead to a threatened species of salamander to find its way into our pond. I was elated at first, getting to see a salamander for the first time that wasnt in a zoo. It lived there for 3 days before the neighbors cat killed it. I remember crying for my mom at the pond, not knowing what to do as the cat hid in the tree in the corner of our yard. I remember seeing the cat upstairs and running down to the pond to scare the cat away only to find a corpse. We ended up installing chicken wire over the pond when the newts came the year after. We still had issues with cats trying to kill them, but my mom planted rasberry bushes nearby and they really took off, growing all around it making it inaccessible to anything larger than a mouse. We have to cut them back every once and a while, you cant often see the pond as a result but its worth having the newts be safe. Especially now when we have an invasive species of mosquito which has been outcompeting the native species and the larvae of which is too large for a lot of small invertebrate predators to hunt, leaving only things like amphibians which are large and fast enough to hunt them before they can grow into full blown mosquitos. Im really mad that people only think its birds that die as a result of cats, because our entire ecosystem in this neighborhood has completely deteriorated as a result of those cats. I dont want to say that the poster doesnt have a point about off leash dogs being incredibly destructive too, its just that in my experience they are incredibly rare. And I have never seen a dog out an about on its own, it will always have a human with them. I also dont want to portray cats as some evil monsters. They are animals. They dont have a concept of good or evil, wrong or right. They are just silly little goobers who follow their instincts when it comes to hunting. Its just that unfortunately this isnt really beneficial for the native ecosystem. Ecosystems besides I do also want to point out that the neighborhood playground was full of cat shit when I was still young enough to use it, leading to me not wanting to use it. It would look fine until you started to play, leading to the discovery that in fact this wasnt a sand pit it was the cats communal litterbox. I also want to point out that the outdoor cats(including the one which killed that salamander) in this area have lost a lot of their numbers. Because they kept getting hit by trucks. Not cars, but trucks. As in semi trucks. the neighborhood is next to a giant ass chain supermarket which gets like daily deliveries from these massive trucks that cant see a small cat running across the road. I apologise for the massive text block of a vent post but I just kinda wanted to write this out.

[clementine-side-blog]

Streaming Blurb - E.N

Little blurb of what I imagine it would be like for Edward Nashton to be a streamer on twitch and y/n being in the back of all of them.

~Read Below Cut~

~

"Ok, so we're getting pretty close to our goal for the charity. That's awesome, guys! Thank you for all of your donations, seriously. This is all going to Gotham General Hospital." Edward explained.

superdooper31: let's fucking gooooo

portableshark: HELL YEAH!

Edward read the chat with a huge smile on his face. After causing terror on Gotham, it felt nice to do some good. After he got out of Arkham Hospital, he wanted to change. Especially since he was dating y/n. Speaking of y/n...

angel-wings: if we meet the goal I'll make him dress like a woman for the next stream <3

cheesemuffin: WHAT!?

purpleppleater: QUICK DONATE ALL YOUR SAVINGS GUYS!!! IT'S A GOOD CAUSE!!! WE NEED THIS!

"Woah, hold on. When did I agree to this, y/n?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

angel-wings: you didn't.

"Ok, so then I'm not doing it." He challenged.

angel-wings: :(

stringbing12: you broke their heart D: how rude

portableshark: evilllllll!!!!!1 >:(

"No. I'm not doing that!" Edward huffed.

angel-wings: :( eddieeee

"...fine."

angel-wings: fuck yeah, ur gonna look so skimpy and slutty when I'm done with you.

portableshark: LMAO I'M EXCITED CMON GUUYS DONATEEEE HAAHHHAHAHHA

cheezit-pleezit: DONATING RN I'VE BEEN SAVING MONEY FOR A MOMENT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!

"Oh shit."

'cheezit-pleezit donated $200!!!!'

'I'm expecting padding in the bra. We will not make this easy for you, father.😈'

Edward groaned, faceplanting on his desk. Curse y/n for saying anything. Curse him for agreeing to it. Curse the $200 donation. Of course, it was all going to the hospital, which was a good thing. But, now he had to dress up like a fashion model for the next stream. Son of a bitch.

"Thank you for the...very...generous donation cheezit..." He mumbled into his desk.

portableshark: we've broken him

tootyfrootybooty: someone give dad a factory reset stat

angel-wings: i'm omw <3

Just like they said, y/n went into the room after a few seconds. Edward looked up, a pitiful frown on his face. Y/n giggled, walking up to him and planting a kiss on his head. He groaned, wrapping an arm around their waist as he looked at the chat.

superdooper31: you guys are our parents <3

stringbing12: we apologize for what you will have to do father ಥ_ಥ

"No, it's alright guys. I'm just glad we raised a lot of money. I am pretty scared about what y/n is going to do to me though..." He said.

"Oh, I'm going to make you a full blown woman, Edward." They giggled.

"Can you at least make me a pretty one?" He frowned.

"You'll be the next Mrs. America." Y/n smiled.

"Fuck yeah. Guys, when the next stream comes up, try to contain yourselves ok? I know it'll be hard to see all of 'this' in a tight dress, but do your best." He winked.

cheesemuffin: this will be the best thing to happen since we got our independence. it will be in history books.

purpleppleater: put him on drag race.

"That'd be fucking awesome. But, they'd eat him alive on there guys. He wouldn't survive."

"I-...no...you're right." He sighed.

Y/n giggled, giving him a kiss on the cheek. He smiled, grabbing a chair next to him and motioning for y/n to sit in it. Obliging, they sat down and Edward held their hand as he looked for the game he was going to play. The chat filled with comments about how cute the couple was. It made y/n smile wide.

"Alright, let's move on from the previous conversation. So y/n actually suggested that we play Until Dawn. I haven't played it yet, YES I know it's been out for a while, but they have played it. So, they'll probably make fun of how I play. I know you guys love when they do that." He chuckled, starting up the game and streaming it.

bozofromspace: dude let's gooooo this is gonna be great

'dildobaggins donated $20!!!!'

'y/n is like a stray cat that just kinda roams around and occasionally knocks things over and causes chaos during your streams. it's the the best thing. i live for it.'

Edward looked at the username and bit back a laugh. He looked at y/n, motioning for them to look too. When they did, they giggled and gave a thumbs up.

"Edward's too much of a baby to read your name, so thank you dildobaggins. LotR and The Hobbit are the best. And thank you for saying that! I like to pride myself on making Eddie's life a little more chaotic!" They said, propping their legs up on his lap and placing their hands on his face.

He huffed, biting one of their fingers gently until they pulled away. Edward raised an eyebrow, ruffling their hair and chuckling. Y/n gave him a dorky smile and blushed when he planted a kiss on their lips.

"Eh, I can handle you." He smirked.

dildobaggins: y/n, be honest, whats ur opinion on aragorn...?'

Y/n squealed when they read it, completely forgetting Edward was there. They sat up straight, clapping their hands. He looked at them, waiting for the Until Dawn game to start.

"Oh my GODDDD!! That man, oh boy, the things I'd let him do to me!? I don't think I can even say them on the stre-" They slowly turned to look at Edward.

He had an eyebrow raised, arms crossed over his chest. Y/n fell silent instantly, blushing deeply. The chat flooded with 'LMAOOO' or 'LOLLL' or 'THE AWKWARD SILENCE I CANTTTTT'. Things like that. Y/n smiled awkwardly at Edward.

"I mean...he's a cool character I guess. I love you, Eddie!"

"No, no, what would you let him do to you? It sounds very interesting." He challenged playfully.

"Uh, well, obviously...talk about...different...species of frogs. He seems like he likes frogs...y'know?" They said.

"Mhm, yeah. Chat, do you see this? Can you believe this?" He scoffed.

cheesemuffin: aragorn is a dilf tho its understandable

superdooper31: he looks like he could kill you in 27 different ways guys...how is that hot?

"It's hot because he's intimidating! Ugh! He's fucking daddy material. He looks like he could break my back in two very different ways and I am HERE for that." Y/n spat out, slapping their hand over their mouth immediately.

Edward let his mouth fall open, eyes wide with amusement as he looked at his partner. They both looked at each other, covering their mouths in shock. After a few seconds, they burst out in laughter. Edward, tears nearly forming in his eyes as he opened up his browser and looked up a picture of him. He made it visible to the whole stream

"This guy!? THIS GUY?!" He laughed.

"YES EDWARD! LEAVE ME ALONEEE!!!"

Edward bit his lip as he typed something in the browser.

portableshark: what r u looking up now dude?

"Uh, just seeing if they have any Halloween costumes for Aragorn..."

"EDWARD!" Y/n shouted playfully, hitting him on the shoulder.

"WHAT!?"

cheezit-pleezit: LMAO WHAT'S HAPPENING I WENT TO GET A DRINK LAMOAOAOAOA!?!!

purpleppleater: ed's gonna cosplay as aragorn during sexy time

stringbing12: this stream has gone into chaos

"Ok, I never said I was going to do that..." He trailed, turning to look at y/n.

"...unless you wa-"

"EDWARD NASHTON!"

"SORRY!"

~

[liauditore]

76

A masked figure sits at the opposite side of the table, their arms by their side, sitting completely still.

"76, we would like to ask some questions."

//cw: implied childhood trauma (not detailed, 76 doesn't believe he's traumatized so he doesn't dwell on it), canon typical violence, swearing, kind of an implied sex joke (it's like one throwaway line)

~

ROUND ONE

[Sounds of shuffling, pacing. 76 appears to be agitated]

76: You let me go right now or I'll kick up a fuss, aight? You've seen what I can do.

The Watcher: We have, and we would be intrigued.

76: mmph… [76 lets out a low growl in frustration]

76: I just have to answer some questions and then you'll let me go, right?

The Watcher: That is not for you, or us, to know.

76: You know things would go a lot easier for all of us if you'd just talk like a normal person.

The Watcher: That's no fun.

~

The Watcher: Do you consider yourself an honest person?

76: A little white lie's never hurt anyone, even if they fuss about it. Conversations are about more than who's right or wrong, I reckon.

The Watcher: What do you like to eat?

76: I usually order takeout. I like to try different restaurants everytime. If I'm not sure I'll just order fast food.

The Watcher: What's your weapon of choice?

76: Usually, my fists are enough. That axe did end up growing on me eventually.

The Watcher: How does it feel to kill someone?

76: It depends on who it is.

The Watcher: Do you prefer cats or dogs?

76: Aren't both great? Most people think I'm more of a dog person but if I had to choose, I think I'd rather have a cat.

The Watcher: What was your childhood like?

76: Pretty normal, I'd say? It's not like it was perfect but I'm not traumatized or anything.

The Watcher: Do you have any regrets?

76: Um… I wish I hadn't died? I think that's pretty bloody obvious.

The Watcher: We were expecting a more… specific answer.

76: Am I being graded on this now?

The Watcher: We don't believe you're lying, but we don't think you're telling us the whole truth either.

76: … Fine, fine. I wish I was less reckless. I wish I didn't go through with Ren's dumb plan. Maybe if we were a bit more clever with our own lives then we--

[76 suddenly pauses mid-sentence and falls silent.]

The Watcher: Anything else?

76: You're never satisfied, are you?

[The Watcher remains silent]

76: I, uh… I wish I wasn't so harsh on Jimmy. I think I might've done more harm than good with that one.

[The Watcher chuckles]

76: But at the end of the day, we're all grown ups, aren't we? I'm not responsible for anyone but me. It's a game death we're in.

The Watcher: Do you regret it?

76: I regret a lot of things, I think I've made that clear.

~

ROUND TWO

A masked figure sits at the opposite side of the table, its legs crossed and hands planted comfortably in its lap.

"76, we would like to ask some questions."

~

76: So we meet again. More stupid questions.

The Watcher: Indeed.

76: Did I disappoint you, huh? Not bloody enough? Not gruesome enough?

The Watcher: It was entertaining. Watching you fail.

76: You.. You're a real piece of work, you know that?

[The Watcher remains silent]

~

The Watcher: Do you know how to cook?

76: Uh… Do instant noodles count? Microwave meals? I think I tried to make french toast once but, uh, it didn't turn out well and I felt bad for wasting the bread.

The Watcher: Can you describe your family?

76: Family's not really real, is it? Blood relation doesn't mean much in the long run. I think, growing up, I considered my friends my family.

The Watcher: Tell us of your friends, then.

76: I… Don't really know if there's anything worth mentioning? We were just regular kids. I was always the oldest so I always looked out for everybody. That's how things should be, right?

The Watcher: Do you like your name?

76: It's… Okay? Sometimes I wish it was something cooler but having a simple name makes it easier to get through life, I suppose.

The Watcher: Do you believe in true love? Would you like to get married?

76: God no! I'm not ready for anything like that. I've, uh, "loved" alot of women over the years, I suppose.

The Watcher: Do you have anything you'd want from us?

76: Stop talking in my ear all the bloody time. I know what I'm doing.

The Watcher: Do you like animals?

76: Pets are just another thing you have to take care of, but they're good company.

The Watcher: Do you think you're yourself?

76: No. The ”me“ you have in your head and the ”me“ that I exist within and the ”me“ that exists within the games… They're all pretty different, aren't they?

The Watcher: If the opportunity arises, would you play the game once again?

76: I won't make the same mistakes I did before.

The Watcher: Do you have any regrets?

76: I… wish I talked it out with the boys a bit more. I don't know what got into Grian near the end. Jimmy and, uh, Mumbo too… they would've had to die eventually, but I think I could've done better for them.

The Watcher: Do you regret doing it?

76: I'm not sure if I know what you're talking about.

~~

A masked figure sits at the opposite side of the table, chin resting on her hands with fingers intertwined. She seems to radiate pity and… amusement?

"76, we would like to ask some questions.“

~

ROUND THREE

The Watcher: Can you tell us about your relationship history?

76: W-What kind of question is that? This isn't related to the game.

The Watcher: We're simply curious.

76: I have to answer, don't I?

[The Watcher remains silent]

76: I, uh, I had crushes like any kid did. Once I started wandering around I had a couple of flings here and there. It's not like I'm some clueless little boy. I'm not gonna get all hung up on one girl, I've got tons waiting to crawl all over me back home.

The Watcher: Did you love any of them?

76: Depends on what you mean. I think we all we were just messing around. Things would've gotten messy otherwise.

The Watcher: Do you dislike any of the other participants?

76: Scott and I can't seem to see eye to eye.

The Watcher: How come?

76: He's just, uh… I think we have clashing personalities? I just.. I don't like the way he speaks, I guess. It's nothing deep.

The Watcher: Do you dislike Scott because he takes people you care for away from you?

76: People I care…? I don't know what you mean.

The Watcher: Do you have any regrets?

76: I think we've been over this enough times.

The Watcher: Do you like yourself?

76: I'm a good person. I believe this.

The Watcher: Is there anyone you'd like to see right now?.

76: I'd… like to apologise to Cleo. Again.

The Watcher: If the opportunity arises, would you play the game once again?

76: Please give me one more chance.

The Watcher: What do you think of us?

76: You're annoying.

The Watcher: If you had one wish, what would you ask for?

76: Freedom.

The Watcher: Do you regret it?

76: I'd do it again if I had do.

~

ROUND FOUR

[The sound of laughter echoes through the room.]

A masked figure sits at the opposite side of the table, he leans back carelessly in his chair, clapping his hands in congratulations. He chuckles.

"76, we would like to ask some questions."

~

[The sound of heavy breathing is heard, broken up by hallowed laughter. Sharp inhales and choking giggles. It sounds as if 76 is in pain]

The Watcher: You seem proud of yourself

76: I fucking did it. I finally did it.

The Watcher: Do you find it—

76: Shut up. Just get to the questions.

[The Watcher snickers]

The Watcher: As you wish.

~

The Watcher: Which one of the other participants do you think is most like you?

76: Scott. He GETS me, y'know? It's like we have this mutual understanding. We don't have to explain ourselves to each other, it's brilliant.

The Watcher: What do you do when you're bored?

76: Usually I'd play video games or watch anime. I always find new things to keep myself entertained.

The Watcher: Do you want to go home?

76: I don't have a home.

The Watcher: Do you have any regrets?

76: None.

The Watcher: What's more important to you - someone's personality or their looks?

76: Depends on what you're looking for.

The Watcher: If the opportunity arises, would you play the game once again?

[76 laughs]

The Watcher: If you had $1000 suddenly, what would you spend it on?

76: I think I'd spend it all on things I've wanted for a long time. Games, merchandise, snacks…

The Watcher: What is your weapon of choice?

76: Whatever I can get my hands on.

The Watcher: Do you lie to yourself?

76: What would there be to lie about?

The Watcher: We think there are… feelings you won't allow yourself to admit.

76: If they mattered, I'd take care of them.

The Watcher: Do you miss your King?

76: I don't think you'd let me see him, so I don't see why you're asking.

The Watcher: Do you miss your Soulmate?

76: I said so in the game, didn't I? We've crossed that bridge.

The Watcher: How does it feel, not being needed?

76: Freeing. So fucking freeing.

The Watcher: What makes you feel the need to lie so much to me today?

76: I hate you. I've played your game. I don't owe you shit.

The Watcher: Do you regret it?

76: I'll do whatever I have to. I want to live.

~

NOTE: 76 is a clever and ruthless participant with a strong urge to prove himself, it's no wonder so many have been anchoring for his victory since T████ L███. However, just as a child whose favourite toy is the first to be worn out, we are concerned we may have broken him more than we anticipated.

(( i got a bit carried away LMAO. 76's player is very much one of my favourites to make messed up cus he very much leans into that already. i should mention that this series very vaguely ties into my merc au but only in like a vague ethereal sense. tagging it anyway cus i like having it all in one placeeee ))

[resuri-art]

If you get this, answer w/ three random facts about yourself and send it to the last seven blogs in your notifs. anon or not, doesn’t matter, let’s get to know the person behind the blog!

Thank you for the ask anon <3

1. I love cooking and I can say with confidence that I'm a very good cook. However managing a recipe for the 1st time with complex steps and multy tasking will require a lot of focus and resources from me. If you talk to me (or worst, doubt me), it might break my focus, make me lost my rhythm, and end up with me panicking and being overwhelmed when I was barely keeping it together (and potentially crying if you doubted me). So do not talk to me when I'm in the kitchen and everything will be fine. 👍✨️

2. One of my cat loves vegetable. He loves soup for exemple and once I caught him stealing green beans from the kitchen. Also he caught the endive leafs we threw outside for the slugs to eat (so they would leave our plants alone) and he ate them. He is a little weirdo.

3. I'm a lesbian but I also think I'm somewhere on the ace spectrum (demi or something) 🤷‍♀️ I never thought too much about it but it would fit what I'm feeling

[invisibleraven]

upcycling furniture together for Rose/Ray? It just feels like their vibe

When Ray and Rose first starting living together, they didn't have much. A sagging couch and rickety coffee table that sat in front of the tiny tv Rose had in her dorm. Enough dishes for them both, and a mattress on the floor. It wasn't much, but it was theirs.

Ray made a little with his photos, enough to keep the roof over their heads and food in the fridge. Rose gave music lessons that let them buy a few things, but they were fine with what little they had, because they had each other.

Of course, that didn't erase the judging looks Victoria gave them when she came to visit, almost afraid to sit down, as if the couch would collapse under her or the mismatched stools they had picked up might give her a staph infection.

Ray pretended not to hear her hiss at Rose that she couldn't live like this. "You can come home you know," Victoria urged. "Or ask me for help Rosa, don't be proud."

"I'm fine Tori," Rose assured her. "I'm happy, I'm free, and I'm in love. I don't need stuff."

Victoria shook her head, letting her shoulders sag and sighed out "Fine." But that didn't stop her from coming by with food since she was a far better cook than either of them. Sometimes she tried to slip money at them, but Rose was firm on pushing it back.

After that she just brought little knick knacks-pillows, plants, a few dishes, claiming they were housewarming gifts, or I saw this and thought of you things. Neither of them were fools, but Ray never saw any of it leave with Victoria when she left, and kept the plants watered in kind.

But one day Rose did admit that it might be nice to have a better couch, or a real table to eat food at.

"Well how about we check out a few yard sales?" Ray suggested. "Or thrift stores? Find something in our budget and really do it up?"

Rose beamed at the idea, and they set out. They found a used couch that a friend was getting rid of, though it needed new upholstery since their cat had used it as a scratching post. A yard sale netted them a cute dinette set, though in a horrid olive green colour. And a thrift store agreed to give them a deal on a bedframe in pieces if they took it that day as it was.

"Good thing I'm handy with tools," Ray quipped.

"It'll be fun!" Rose said with a laugh. "Plus now we can make it all our own!"

They found a cool turquoise coloured fabric to cover the couch with, finding it complimented the bright yellow cushions that Victoria had gifted them. It was a bit difficult to use the staple gun, Ray almost jumping at the first loud sound of it. But Rose grinned at him, and kept going, until the couch was covered.

Then they assembled the bed frame, Rose tying her hair back with a bandana, Ray wiping the sweat from her brow as he hammered and screwed and she painted it a deep dark black colour.

The table proved the hardest, needing a lot of sanding to get the offending olive colour off. Thankfully they did it out in the lot, as the sawdust filled their lungs, covered their hair, their clothes. But underneath the table was a nice blonde maple colour, so they sealed it, placing it with honour in their tiny kitchen.

"Looks good," Ray said, pulling Rose to his side and kissing her sweaty brow.

"Just needs one final touch," Rose said, snagging a small bud vase with a single red dahlia in it and placing it on the table. "There, perfect."

"Just like you," Ray said, twirling her. Who cares that she was in one of his oversized tees and a pair or leggings covered in dust and paint, she had never looked better.

"Sap," Rose cooed, leaning up on her toes to kiss him. "But I'm still taking the first shower."

Ray squawked, and then laughed as Rose raced off to their tiny bathroom. He'd join her in a moment, because even if their shower was small, there was still a space for the both of them in there.

The table just needed one final touch, and when he heard the water running, left it on the table.

Rose would find it later, and he was sure, as he popped the ring box open, she would say yes.

"Raymond are you coming or am I taking all the hot water for myself?" she called playfully.

"On my way amor!"

Ray raced off, smiling to himself. Sure, he and Rose didn't have much, but they had each other, and even with their new furniture, that was all they needed to be home.

[mistahgrundy]

IRL - went outta town

ok so I was just up in Denton for a wedding. Very nice wedding, I wore a blazer, which was so nice to do. I hardly ever have a reason to dress up. Lots of fun. there's probably a photo of my husband pretending to hit me with a chair in the reception hall lol, I hope I get to see that eventually. We couldn't hear shit in there so we resorted to mime humor. violent mime.

I had hella travel anxiety because I uhhhh I don't like to travel!! I mean I have health problems and a cat I miss when I leave and it's tornado season and uh yeah. it's 90% illogical with some little for reals things thrown in.

So I didn't sleep at all the night before we left.

Then on the way up we had to drive past a tornado warned storm. TO BE CLEAR, we were in no danger. Absolutely none. We were on i35 and the storm was out kinda northwest of Killeen. Up by Gatesville. And if you're familiar with central Texas that should give you some idea of how far away it was. The red warning box wasn't yet touching where we were. But still I tried to see it from the highway to no avail. it's been a very long time since I've actually SEEN a tornado, and that last time was in Ohio when I was a little child.

It was fun to joke about flooring it when we got to Jarrell. Sorry Jarrell. You are central Texas's Moore. That's some person who watches a lot of weather related videos gallows-humor for you!

anyway it was a pretty uneventful drive tbh. It didn't even rain until we got up to Fort Worth basically, somehow. So I didn't get to roll down the windows on the south side to smell all the bread and beer factories.

Sidenote: when I was a little kid one of our field trips at school was to the Mrs. Bairds bread factory. I barely remember it.

Our hotel room in Denton was one of those weird ones that people can live in, so it had a little kitchen and a couch. Extended stay I guess. Those are nice but they are FULL of divorced dudes. Divorced men in Punisher themed trucks as far as the eye can see. When we pulled up Punisher truck guy was BBQing in his truck bed!! And later on when I was setting up the Roku we saw a wifi signal named Punisher. His very existence has owned us.

I did not sleep. Bed make back hurt. Weird room weird bed weird sounds.

At the wedding I had one job and it was to be the first to stand up when the bride entered so everyone else would see me stand and also stand and no one stood up!!! it took like... an agonizing amount of time for people to realize oh right standing. damn it guys. Oh well. Also around that time I realized I forgot to put on deodorant that morning. x_x I checked later though and it was fine, no smell.

A whole day running on two days of no sleep and barely eating I thought for sure the last night I will get some sleep. Surely! But no. I just laid there again for 8 hours like. ah. ok. cool. my brain is broken.

3 days of no sleep.

I bought a little metal sculpture for my yard in West at Slovacek's. It looks like a little piranha plant from mario 3. The little ones that would hop around. kinda.

So here I am woken up from a little 3 hour nap at home. Still exhausted.

Seth was telling me about Frenchy's when we were in Denton. I didn't grow up there so I don't know about this denton institution! There's all these little parked food lookin trucks around town that sport american flags and are all painted different. I passed a smiley face one and a remember our vets one and one about volunteering. It's just some cleaning company or something like that. Frenchy's! Some old Italian guy runs it named Frenchy. Then on the way out of town there was a billboard from Frenchy reminding us to get vaccinated. Done and Done, Frenchy.

Not Frenchy, just some ultra Texas looking old couple I snapped a secret photo of on the way out of Denton. His hands weren't grey, my phone's camera was just having a bit of a time.

Dude's rockin' a kerchief to the applebee's

[rjalker]

ugh.

sigh.

okay, we'd need $75 + whatever tax it is to buy three more hard plastic cat carriers.

We're going to be moving, thankfully just into a different apartment in the same setup thing, this one's on the ground floor so we won't have to keep lugging groceries up the stairs (and we could actually bring our bikes inside to keep them out of the rain and stop them from being stolen!!!), and we have soft sided cat carriers, but the cats decided they were beds. But instead of sleeping inside them they squashed them and now they're all bent out of shape and need to be washed.

And we still don't have working washers or driers, so it takes forever.

We were trying to train the cats to eat their food in the carriers so they'd get used to them, which was going fine until they decided that sleeping on top of them was better than hanging out inside.

so if we want to actually train them to think of their carriers as a safe place, we need three more hard carriers that they can squash.

(and you know, of course they don't sleep on the actual pet bed, because why would they do that?)

The $75 would buy us three of Walmart's cheapest at $24 each.

My wallet got stolen a few days ago now, so Paypal is the only thing I actually have access to until my new bank card gets here.

My paypal is Rjalker, it'll have the same flower icon as here.

I don't really have anything to offer in return for donations unless you like my art enough that you'd want me to draw something, which I could do. If you need more incentive, I'm going to be giving away free food and native plants from my garden whenever the warmer weather gets here, and I also go around planting native plants and native fruit trees wherever I can find space for them in the wild.

(If you live in Hanover, Pennsylvania, and in 2030 or so there's fruiting pawpaws growing along the trolley trail and various patches of woods elsewhere, you're welcome! There should also be lots of butternut tree seedlings, but they won't fruit until...well, I can't find any actual information about their rate of maturity from seed, but I assume it'll be closer to 15 or 20 years? They live longer than pawpaws so I assume they also take longer to reach sexual maturity)

[oicuperp]

We got a theory You see Mike, we got a theory About magic and miracles (that's right, that's right)

If magic is all we've ever known Then it's easy to miss what really goes on But I've seen miracles in every way And I see miracles everyday

Oceans spanning beyond my sight And a million stars way above 'em at night We don't have to be high to look in the sky And know that's a miracle opened wide

Look at the mountains, trees, the seven seas And everything chilling underwater, please Hot lava, snow, rain and fog Long neck giraffes, and pet cats and dogs

And I've seen eighty-five thousand people All in one room, together as equals Pure magic is the birth of my kids I've seen shit that'll shock your eyelids

The sun and the moon, and even Mars The Milky Way and fucking shooting stars UFOs, a river flows Plant a little seed and nature grows

Niagara Falls and the pyramids Everything you believed in as kids Fucking rainbows after it rains There's enough miracles here to blow your brains

I fed a fish to a pelican at 'Frisco bay It tried to eat my cell phone, he ran away And music is magic, pure and clean You can feel it and hear it, but it can't be seen

Can't be seen (are you a believer in miracles?) Music is all magic You can't even hold it (Do you notice and recognize miracles?) It's just there in the air

(Are you a believer in miracles?) Pure motherfucking magic Right? This shit'll blow your motherfucking mind

Music is a lot like love, it's all a feeling And it fills the room, from the floor to the ceiling I see miracles all around me Stop and look around, it's all astounding

Water, fire, air, and dirt Fucking madness, how do they work? And I don't wanna talk to a scientist Y'all motherfuckers lying, and getting me pissed

Solar eclipse, and vicious weather Fifteen thousand Juggalos together And I love my mom for giving me this time on this planet Taking nothing for granted

I seen a caterpillar turn into a butterfly Miracles ain't nothing to lie Shaggy's little boys look just like Shaggy And my little boy looks just like daddy

Miracles each and every where you look And nobody has to stay where they put This world is yours for you to explore There's nothing but miracles beyond your doors

The Dark Carnival is your invitation To witness that without explanation Take a look at this fine creation And enjoy it better with appreciation

Crows, ghosts, the midnight coast The wonders of the world, mysteries the most Just open your mind, and it ain't no way To ignore the miracles of every day (and that's real)

And that's real (are you a believer in miracles?) Magic everywhere in this bitch (Do you notice and recognize miracles?) It's all around you, you don't even know it

(Are you a believer in miracles?) Shit's crazy (Do you notice and recognize miracles?) (So many miracles, the magic miracles)

Are you a believer in miracles? Do you make time for the miracles? Do you notice and recognize miracles? So many miracles, the magic miracles

Are you a believer in miracles? Do you make time for the miracles? Do you notice and recognize miracles? So many miracles, the magic miracles

Are you a believer in miracles? Do you make time for the miracles? Do you notice and recognize miracles? So many miracles, the magic miracles

Well, we're here (fuck you) We came all the way to Ass, Nevada Come on Where's the show and where's our money? They brought me here all the way from England

Where's me bloody hundred thousand pounds? When's the fuckin' show gonna start already? What I wanna know is where in the hell Is my goddamn hundred thousand pounds And where can I get some beer in this motherfucker?

Hmmm, I thought this was a carnival? (Boo) Where's all the sexy kids at? (What the fuck) Don't tell me I brought all this candy for nothing I didn't come all this way to stand around here With all these goddamn tadpoles (let's go) Stop this shit so we can get paid I came a long way to see this shit!

listen idk where you copied this from ... but ... cant believe it says madness instead of magnets (how do they work ?!!?!??) ... who commited this atrocity ...

[tomorrowsgardennc]

🍠 curing sweet potatoes 🍠

when i was researching about ptatoes all those many moons ago, the fun fact i learned is that normie potatoes grow more potatoes from the "eyes" they have on them, whereas with sweet potatoes roots can grow from ✨️ANY✨️ part of the skin. kinds creepy if you think about it for too long like me. don't be like me.

therefore when i started the slips for this year - both for me and my test garden buddies - i was able to confirm that roots and stems or slips do grow from just about anywhere on the skin.

why is this important for curing? well, it's not if you're curing for long term eating. but for me, i am curing for the sole purpose of growing even more slips next year. because of this, all my curing photos have only baby potats in them because i don't need the biggest and best to get a new plant - just the babies will do. (this is only true for sweet potatoes. normie potatoes need the bigger ones with more eyes.) if you want to store for long term food, then the method is exactly the same, yours will simply look different than mine is all. LET'S BEGIN!

first, take a look at these babies again. damn they're gorgeous. after you agree they are gorgeous you're gonna need 2 more things: an opaque plastic bin (wood is ok, but still suseptible to mold. cardboard big no-no.) and a raggedy but clean bath towel.

🍠 step 1: DO NOT WASH THEM!! 🍠

the internet was divided on this step, so when i asked farmer mama she said absolutely not. washing simply adds more brusing or chance of getting knicked or ruined, and adds moisture where we don't want it. they grew in the dirt so it's not like the soil is gonna harm them. now if there are large clumps or bugs on them then brush them off, otherwise leave them be. if there are small cuts from a shovel or you have long nails or whatever, then they will heal during the curing process. no biggie. if big cuts, like fully cut in half, then either consume immediately and don't cure, or just yeet it into the compost if too nasty.

🍠 step 2: NO TOUCHIE!! 🍠

the roots i left on because i wanted to stick with the whole "less bugging them the better" mantra, but either way is fine. the roots actually help them stay apart, keeping them stable and not rolling around everywhere and evidently touching each other. NO TOUCH!

🍠 step 3: blankie 🍠

well, a towel in this case, but it's acting like a blankie. this helps absorb any moisture that is left in there, and any moisture added because of the curing process. but the towel does NOT mean we can ignore the no touchy rule; no layers can be added on top of the towel, only the lid for the plastic bin. why add a top? for me, it's because...

🍠 step 4: sleepy time 🍠

the perfect environment for curing potatoes is in the least used bathroom in your house. it's warm, humid, and dark the majority of the time. downside is, though, my master bath gets used a lot by us and the cats (litter box) so having a box of potatoes in the way won't do and our 2nd bath is in the smack dab middle of the house and never used so it is the coldest, least humid room out of all of them. in my case, the best place for curing the sweet potatoes is right smack next to the radiator in my greenhouse. the opaque plastic and the lid are to prevent any light from getting to the potatoes. the heater helps keep them and my other plants or seedlings warm at night, and it gets extra warm and humid in there during the day (even in winter). farmer mama said this is a good solution since my bathroom(s) won't do. right now my heaters are set to 60°F only because we haven't reached super duper lows...... yet. when that happens i kick them up a notch and make my electric bill go brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

🍠 side notes 🍠

keep checking on them about every other day to make sure one doesn't turn into a science experiment. because sweet potato skins are not that thick it will take approximately 2 weeks to cure. when the skin is super dry, and the soil, and when it just feels different - hard to explain really except like, when it feels like a potato from the super market. when you dig it up fresh from the ground, you'll notice the difference. it's just not something that can be accurately shown in a photo or described, at least by me. before long-term storage, go ahead and lightly brush off the dirt. the curing makes the skin get thicker, therefore protecting the starch goodness inside and protecting it from accidents on the outside. still wanna store in as few layers as possible, and still out of sunlight.

🍠✨️ happy potato-ing ✨️🍠

🍠 harvesting sweet potatoes 🍠

this was my second year growing potatoes, but my first year growing sweet potatoes specifically. when i grew normie potatoes, i ended up with less than what i put in the ground... that's how bad it turned out. while researching why i did so badly, i learned sweet potatoes grow totes differently so i decided i would try those this year.

i am very happy i did.

i started off by bringing my teeny tiny harvest basket assuming i did horribly, but after half of the first plant i had to go grab my big boi harvest crate my dad made me. i also found 4 baby carrots that i grew last year during my harvest. ignore those.

prior to harvesting, i turned to the internet out of habit to see what needed to be done. sadly, the internet had varying degrees of how to handle both harvesting and curing potatoes. then i remembered farmer mama used to grow these so i hit her up for the true knowledge. i shall put it here for y'all.

there's no need to wait until first frost, and actually it's prolly not ideal if you wait. it's going to be first frost pretty soonTM so right now is just fine. it's easier to diggie dig if you trim back all the vines first. i did prune back the vines and leaves the deer left for me, and i tossed them in as my first layer of compost for the garlic bed (garlic post soon, i'm running behind on planting them...)

now i can grab on to the neck of the plant and rip it up. totally not morbid to phrase it that way. to say i squeed with joy when i saw large and bountiful potatoes this time is an understatement. hubs was prepping the perennial flower area to plant those plants and he thought i was getting attacked by yellowjackets again. my yipee and my panic screams are the same so i don't blame him.

for digging, since this was in my tall raised bed i just used my arms and hands and dug around. i had my shovel handy, but my acoustic self prefers to use hands for everything, and also because the shovel could pierce the skin of the potatoes. which isn't horrible, but an annoyance and an extra worry when curing so just not worth imo. the potatoes didn't go further than 8 inches below the soil, so no reason to keep digging. you can also tell when the roots get smaller and smaller. i also learned that for sweet potatoes like 90% of the taters are right under that neck, so also no real reason to dig around too much except if you want to find those baby outliers.

so incredibly happy with this harvest 😍❤️🍠

the purpose of me growing these was because, well, why not, but also because i want to offer sweet potato slips at the farmers market next april. i offered only a few this year because i just didn't know what would happen and if i wanted someone else to grow it and see how theirs turned out to compare. why purple? well, why normie???? purple is so much prettier and i'm actually going to focus on a lot of purple produce in 2025 lmao. but i digress.

ok so i hit the tumblr photo limit just from talking about harvesting these gorgeous purple divas therefore i shall do a 2nd post about the curing stage. spoiler alert: i am curing the baby tubers because market slips next year and i washed the big chonkas in my outdoor sink and boiled them immediately.

boiling was a mistake. good news is i learned the kitchen would look pretty with purple floors 🫠 and that if you clean up purple potato water on kitchen floor with clorox bleach that it turns the purple color blue 🫠 i love science.

since i got too overexcited i boiled too much. i saved enough in the fridge to make a sweet potato pie later this week, ate some for dinner, and then froze the rest in ziploc bags. i have a feeling i'll be making multiple purple sweet potato pies this season because why the hell not.

don't worry i'll have photos of the pie when i make it. hehe.

ok chores real quick then on to the next post about curing the potatoes, very important.

[daryl-dixon-daydreams]

Words: 8,347 Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader Reader pronouns: she/her Era: the Greene farm Warnings: Language, violence, gore, attempted sexual assault, discussions of trauma, typical TWD A/N: This is Part 1 of the new miniseries! This should be 2 or 3 parts total, and it's kind of intense and a bit dark at certain points so heed the warnings ya'll. Summary: Y/N is considered quiet, standoffish, and even a bit odd by the group, but Daryl knows how much she does around camp to care for everyone. After a traumatic incident while searching for Sophia, Daryl starts to discover why Y/N is the way she is.

Your name: submit What is this?

The group was all sitting around the low campfire, eating some breakfast. The two Greene girls came out with baskets in hand. Beth approached Rick and held hers out. “We have some more eggs for you all. Our hens lay more than we can eat,” she said.

Rick gratefully accepted them with an earnest look and a nod. “Thank you. That’s very kind.”

“And some potatoes,” Maggie offered. Lori grabbed her basket.

“Really, you all are being so kind. If there’s anything we can do to help around the place just let us know,” she said.

Beth was looking off into the distance at you sitting alone, away from the group, your back to the farmstead. “What’s wrong with her?” she asked, without really thinking.

“Beth!” Maggie scolded her.

“Well, I—I just mean she never eats with ya’ll. She seems like she’s always off on her own,” Beth explained, a little sheepish from her sister’s scolding.

The rest of the group was looking your direction now too, many of them asking the same questions in their minds.

“C’mon, now. That’s enough,” Maggie said. “Daddy needs help with the laundry.”

The group watched them head back to the farmhouse and Shane was the next one to break the silence. “It’s a fair question,” he said, chuckling to himself wryly, glancing back over his shoulder at you before leaning in to grab another helping of breakfast. “She hasn’t exactly meshed into the fabric of the group, has she?”

“Shane, give it a rest,” Lori said sternly.

“No offense meant but I don’t think I’ve ever heard her say more than two words at a time,” Andrea said. “You can’t pretend like there isn’t something… odd there.”

Dale hummed. “Not that it’s really our business, but she’s never said anything about what happened to her before we found her out by the quarry. I’ve tried to ask her about her family, what she used to do before all this,” he shrugged vaguely. “Never got a thing out of her. That’s her right if she doesn’t want to talk about it, but it does seem a little strange.”

“That’s all I’m sayin’,” Shane said. “Somethin’ weird with that girl,” he trailed off.

Daryl stood up, annoyed. “Ya’ll are a buncha busy body gossips. If ya’d open your damn eyes for two seconds you’d realize she does more for this group than most of ya combined,” he growled. “She gathered that wood burnin’ in your fire right there. Them mushrooms mixed in with your damn eggs, who the hell ya think found those? Ya think they just magically appeared along with that stuff you’re usin’ to make tea every night?” He tossed his empty plate down on the grass and scoffed. “People who don’t trust easily usually got a damn good reason. ’M outta here.”

Shane watched him go in slight amusement, but most of the others looked a little ashamed of themselves. Daryl was right, of course. You did do a lot for the group. You just kept to yourself. You didn’t make a big show of bringing back some meat or foraged food. You never complained when Rick or Shane asked you to do something. You took more than your fair share of the night watches. And the fact that no one knew anything about your past, the fact that you didn’t talk much, didn’t need any explanation to Daryl. Based on his own background, he could guess there was a reason you were the way you were.

A short time later, Daryl noticed you gathering up your pack and grabbing your pistol and recurve bow. He wandered over as you were snapping your knife into its sheath at your hip. “Ya headin’ out to search again?” he asked softly. You and him seemed to be the only ones who hadn’t completely given up hope of finding Sophia. You simply nodded once.

“Alright,” Daryl drawled. “What’s your plan?” Asking a question that wasn’t a simple yes or no was always a toss-up with you. Half the time he’d get a short answer, half the time he wouldn’t.

“North side of the ridge,” you said. Your voice was always quiet and measured. The archer usually wished most people would talk less, but with you he always hoped to hear more. The little that you said was purposeful and deliberate. There was no idle bullshit.

He nudged his nose up in a nod at you. “Alright. I’ll start by that creek and work along the south side. We can be close by in case either of us gets into trouble with walkers,” he said.

You simply nodded again and gave him a long thoughtful look. You did that a lot. Daryl had the feeling there was a lot going on behind your eyes, but you never spoke any of it. Surprisingly, he never felt nervous or uncomfortable when you looked at him like that. He just hoped someday maybe you’d open up a little bit more. The next moment you had turned and were heading toward the tree line already. Daryl scrambled to gather his gear and set off after you.

He could see your figure ahead, disappearing into the brush and soon he couldn’t see or hear you at all. He set out along the south side of the ridge as planned, picking his way along the creek, scrutinizing every inch of ground and hoping for a shoeprint.

Along the north side you were doing the same. You frequently knelt to examine some little scrape in the litter or soil and as you went you filled the little cloth bag you carried with edible and medicinal plants, berries, and fungi. The day wore on with no sign of the little girl and your frustration and fear grew even as the sun reached its apex in the sky and started to drift back down toward the western horizon.

You turned and started picking a new path back, heading toward the farm now rather than away. The deepening shadows made detecting print or trail more difficult but you kept your focus sharp on the ground as you moved, your bow slung over your shoulder next to your quiver.

You were becoming tired when you noticed an impression in the mud. You knelt, one knee of your jeans sinking into the damp soil. It was a boot print, but certainly not left by Sophia. You stared at the detail of the sole impression and your brow drew down low immediately. You have everyone’s shoe designs memorized. It wasn’t one you recognized. Your eyes drifted up and you could see a worn trail through the underbrush and more prints, heavy in the mud. There were at least three men who had left this trail, and they weren’t walkers. The path was straight ahead with no stagger and you could tell they were picking their way through the underbrush. You crouched and started to follow the trail. You needed to get eyes on these people. They were awfully close to the farm… Close enough, certainly, to see the smoke rising from the chimney and your fire circles.

You ghosted through the woods following the trail, moving as silently as you could. You’d been on the path for probably ten minutes when you could hear careless, noisy movement ahead. You must have caught up with them. Your heart hammering in your chest, you stayed low and crept closer. As you moved around a partially downed tree you could finally see the shapes of two men ahead. They were scruffy and filthy, clearly living on the move in the woods. You needed a closer look. You wanted to see what kinds of weapons they had on them. If you could scout out the group, you could determine whether something needed to be done about them or not.

As you tried to shift to another patch of concealing cover, you didn’t notice your bow catching on a low hanging dead branch. By the time you felt the resistance it was too late. The whole branch pulled loose with a loud snapping sound as it bent and cracked other dried branches and twigs on its way down. The two men you had been watching spun immediately and had weapons raised, rifles pointed in your direction. You were swearing under your breath and instantly on your feet aiming your pistol right back.

“Well, shit! What the hell do we have here?” one of the men asked, shifting a little to get a better look at you. “You alone out here, sweetheart?”

You fell an immediate swell of anger and dread rising up in your chest.

“What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?” the second man asked, grinning and revealing teeth that were tobacco stained and yellow.

“What’s a fine little thing like you doing out here by yourself? Don’t you know it’s dangerous? There are all kinds of monsters in these woods,” the first man said, looking you up and down thoroughly. His companion laughed.

Fuck. This was bad. Why had you pushed your luck and crept in so closely? Now you were outnumbered and you knew there was at least one other man somewhere that you didn’t have eyes on.

Your chest was heaving with anxious breaths from the rush of adrenaline. The first man stepped a bit closer again and you responded by taking a measured step back, your pistol aimed squarely at his chest. Now what? Should you make a run for it? Would they shoot you? Based on the animalistic looks in their eyes you knew things could go very bad, very quickly if you couldn’t get the fuck out of there. Your mind was whirring.

Suddenly, you heard a stick crack behind you and you turned instinctively to see a third man now rushing you. He landed a fist into your jaw and your vision went black as you fell to the ground, holding onto your pistol as tightly as you could. The pain radiating from your jaw into your head was overwhelming. You blinked, willing the darkness to clear, but it lingered as you suddenly felt rough hands on you, rolling you over and ripping both your bow and rifle from your back.

You struggled blindly and managed to get yourself onto your back again as the darkness in your eyes faded instead to the outlines of blurred shapes. You could make out the shape of the man standing over you and you instinctively raised your pistol and squeezed several rounds which sounded like cracks of thunder in the close woods. You missed, the scene still foggy, and you immediately squeezed again and discharged another round but the man leapt down on you with a wild yell, knocking your arm to the side and pinning it into the ground. His weight pressed down on you and you were vaguely aware of an acrid smell filling your nostrils, causing bile to rise up in your throat. He pried your pistol from your hand and tossed it away into the brush.

You writhed beneath him, struggling to get clear of his grasp but he was much bigger than you and soon there was another set of hands on you. You were rolled onto your stomach again and your arms were pulled back behind you and held painfully tight.

“We got ourselves a wild cat here, boys!” one of the men laughed. “Get her up,” he ordered. You were pulled roughly onto your feet, still trying to blink away the remaining fuzziness in your eyes and struggling against your captor.

The first man, who seemed to be the leader, paced over, watching you with a look of satisfaction on his face as you still tried to fight loose. His rifle was now dropped casually by his side. He grabbed your chin cruelly and pulled it up so you looked right into his eyes. His fingers dug into the tender spot on your jaw where the other man had hit you. “Ain’t you a pretty little thing,” he murmured silkily.

You yanked your face from his grasp and he chuckled, glancing back at the other man standing just behind him. “She’s a good one,” he said, a sick smirk on his face. He looked back at you and his eyes roamed perversely over your body. “This’ll be fun.”

He turned violent and grabbed the front of your light cotton shirt, ripping it harshly down off one shoulder, tearing the breezy plaid fabric easily and popping off the first three buttons. The man holding you only tightened his grip. Your throat constricted so tightly it was hard to breathe. You felt like your heart was beating so hard that it would surely burst. You could feel everyone’s eyes on your newly bared skin. Next the leader withdrew a knife and pressed the point into the center of your chest just above your bra. You cringed at the feeling of the biting cold metal pricking your skin.

He stepped close into you and moved the knife up to your throat, pressing it to the side of your neck and drawing it lightly across your skin just enough to cut you. You winced and shut your eyes, trying to keep as still as possible with that blade to your throat and you soon felt a rivulet of warmth rolling down toward your collarbone. You opened your eyes as the knife left your throat and he slipped it under your exposed bra strap, rotating it and lifted up until the fabric started to separate along the sharp edge. Finally, it gave and the strap hung loosely down. He sucked in a hiss of breath through his teeth, his eyes hungry and crazed. “This will be a lot easier on you if you just cooperate. Then again… I like a woman with some fight in her,” he snarled. “Your choice.” His companions let out more appreciative laughter as fear twisted your stomach.

You felt yourself going numb. Suddenly, you couldn’t feel any pain anymore. You couldn’t feel the man’s hands pinning your arms back. You couldn’t feel the blood that was now running down your chest. Your eyes drifted to the leader’s cold, blue blade and then unfocused so the scene simply became a haze. And you suddenly realized that they hadn’t taken your knife. It was still in its sheath on your hip…

A short distance away, Daryl had been thinking that it was probably about time to call it a day and head back when he heard a series of loud gunshots. His body went rigid and he turned frantically, staring off into the brush. He strained his hearing to its limit. They’d definitely come from your direction. Abandoning any other thought, he sprung into motion, racing through the woods as fast as he could in the direction he thought the blasts had come from.

Back in camp, everyone else had heard the shots too. Shane turned and looked at Rick, his gaze intense.

“Were those gun shots?” Lori asked, fear in her voice.

“Yeah,” Rick said, rising to his feet and rushing to grab his gun from the stash of weapons in the RV. “Shane, T, Glenn, let’s go! The rest of you stay here!”

Hershel stepped out onto the porch and watched the group of men racing across the pasture toward the trees. He had a bad feeling in his gut. Maggie and Beth came out, the slamming screen door punctuating the piercing silence that fell after the shots.

Daryl smashed through the brush carelessly, his eyes scanning the ground for a trail, any trail, something to follow. Finally, his eyes locked on boot prints that were surely yours. He vaguely registered that there were much larger impressions in the soil too, several different boots much larger than yours. And they certainly weren’t from walkers.

“Son of a bitch,” he cursed under his breath. He froze and scanned the thick greenery. He strained his hearing again, listening for some sound, anything, to give him an idea of what was happening. Please don’t let me be too late, he thought frantically. He took off again but more cautiously, following the tracks you had clearly also discovered. Probably what had led you right into something…

Rick and the others were well into the trees now but Shane stopped everyone. “Rick, what the hell are we doin’ man? We don’t have a clue where Y/N and Daryl are. We can’t just go blindly crashing through here or we’re gonna end up in a bad spot too.”

Rick’s eyes frantically whirred over the seemingly endless tree trunks.

“Wait—I saw Y/N’s map yesterday. She had the whole thing sectioned out into search areas,” Glenn said. “Most of them were already crossed off.”

“Well, which ones weren’t?” Shane urged, checking to make sure there was a round chambered in his gun.

“Uhh—” Glenn’s mind raced. “I think—I think by that ridge, straight north of here. But I can’t be sure,” he trailed off.

Rick rubbed a hand over his face. They all listened for any sound, but the woods were oppressively silent now. “Shit…” he cursed under his breath.

“It’s the best we got,” T gasped, out of breath from the frenetic dash from camp.

Rick nodded. “Alright. Then we head north. Keep your heads on a swivel and your eyes peeled for any sign of Y/N or Daryl.”

Daryl moved as swiftly along the trail as he could. Suddenly, he spotted something lying on top of the litter out of the corner of his eye. Your pistol. Daryl grabbed it and the muzzle was still warm. Clearly, you’d been the one to fire at least some of those shots. “Fuck. Fuck…” He tucked it into his waistband and moved more cautiously now. His heart was pounding and sweat was pouring down his forehead. His knuckles were white on his crossbow. He rounded a downed tree and froze when he saw a dark shape on the ground ahead. His heart dropped into his stomach. Please don’t let it be Y/N… He was almost paralyzed with fear but he forced himself to take another couple steps. As he rounded the brush and straightened up, he knew it wasn’t you but his apprehension didn’t evaporate. It was a large man, clearly dead, completely covered in blood. The hair on the back of Daryl’s neck suddenly stood on end and he spun around, his crossbow up to his eye, ready to fire. But he dropped it involuntarily as he took in the scene before him, his jaw dropping partially open and his eyes narrowing as he tried to figure out what the fuck he was seeing.

You were standing there in front of him trembling from head to toe, your hands out in front of you with your knife clutched in one like it was a lifeline. Daryl could easily see the shakiness in your hands. You were completely covered in blood. Your clothing and skin were soaked in it, like you’d bathed in a crimson river. There was thick splatter on your face, neck, and chest. Your eyes were wide and fixed and you didn’t show any awareness that he was there in front of you. Daryl registered that your shirt was torn down from one shoulder and your bra strap had been cut. He didn’t need an explanation to know what the fuck had happened and rage swelled in his chest, stoking an intense fire. His eyes drifted down to two more bodies lying at your feet, each with uncountable stab wounds and one with his throat cut, his clothing drenched. The metallic smell of blood was in the air and Daryl could almost taste it on his tongue.

Still you showed no awareness that he was there. You seemed frozen, catatonic. He now registered that you had slash wounds through the fabric of your sleeves and cuts on your arms. Defensive wounds where you had blocked a knife attack. There was a purposeful cut partially up the hem of your jeans at the bottom, clearly from one of the men… It was nearly impossible to tell if you were hurt anywhere else because there was just so much blood…

“Jesus fucking Christ,” he murmured. “Y/N?” He took a cautious step toward you. “Y/N? Can ya hear me?”

Nothing. No reaction at all.

Just then Daryl heard the noise of several people in the woods nearby and he planted himself between you and the sound, raising his crossbow. “Ya better get the fuck outta here unless ya want an arrow between the eyes!” he roared.

Rick straightened up. That was Daryl. “Daryl?!”

Daryl gulped. “…Rick?”

“Yeah, it’s me, Shane, Glenn, and T! We’re comin’ to you! Are you alright?”

Daryl glanced back at you again. You were still just standing there shaking. “‘M fine. Wasn’t me who fired…” Daryl swung his pack off his back and dug inside it.

The men crashed through the underbrush and came into view, taking in the scene. “Oh my God.” The words spilled from Glenn’s lips. They were all glancing from the bloody bodies on the ground to your blood-soaked figure.

“Jesus Christ,” Shane uttered, pacing closer and bending to look at the slash wound in the one corpse’s neck. Daryl finally laid hands on his poncho and yanked it out of his bag. He turned to look at you and began approaching cautiously. “Y/N? It’s Daryl. Can ya hear me?”

Nothing.

Rick was slack-jawed as he looked at the scene. “Daryl… be careful,” he cautioned, eyeing the knife still gripped in your fist.

Daryl glanced back at him. “She ain’t gonna do nothin’ to me,” he drawled.

“Do you see this?” Glenn asked him urgently indicating the bodies. “This is insane. You don’t know that! She looks completely out of it, like she doesn’t even know we’re here!”

Daryl’s jaw clenched and he turned back to look at you again. “Don’t ya fuckin’ see her? She’s terrified. Look at her clothes. They were tryin’ to rape her,” he growled. “They deserve what they got.”

Shane straightened up from examining the bodies, glancing furtively over at you. “Maybe but… on the force, we’d call this ‘overkill’,” he said, backing up and exchanging a glance with Rick.

Daryl ignored him. “Y/N? It’s alright. You’re safe. Nobody is gonna hurt ya. Just lemme take your knife, okay?” There was no recognition on your face, your eyes still wide and fixed, until Daryl’s hand gently closed over yours and started to open your hand around the handle of your knife. He could feel you shaking beneath his fingers. “S’alright,” he said softly as your eyes landed on his face and then locked with his. Your brow drew down low, casting a shadow over the vaguely confused look on your face. As Daryl gently took your knife, he could see there was a very deep gash in your palm. It was bleeding heavily. He guessed it was either another defensive wound from you putting your hands up to stop one of the men’s knives or otherwise your hand, slick with blood, had slipped down onto your own blade when you’d been fighting them. “Glenn, get some gauze out of my pack and bring it over here,” he said. He spoke calmly and softly. He glanced back over at Glenn when he didn’t move from his slack-jawed frozen position. “Glenn. Gauze.” Glenn snapped himself out of it and went to Daryl’s bag. The archer gulped and draped his poncho over you, covering your ripped shirt. “S’alright,” he murmured again.

You didn’t take your eyes off his face. He wasn’t even sure if you realized the others were there. Glenn walked forward and handed Daryl the small roll of sterile gauze before backing up slowly. The look in your eyes was haunted and dazed and it left all of them feeling empty and concerned.

Daryl opened your hand flat and your eyes drifted down to watch him wrap the bandage over the wound on your palm. You couldn’t feel it. You couldn’t really feel anything, except Daryl’s hands on yours.

Shane turned to Rick. “Rick, what the hell are we gonna do about this? We can’t just waltz her back into camp covered in blood. You don’t want the others seein’ this… Carl? Lori? Or Hershel. Look at her. She looks completely unstable. This might be enough for him to kick us out right now.” He looked back at you over his shoulder.

Rick sighed heavily. “So, we’ll get her cleaned up first.”

Daryl was keeping one ear on the conversation going on behind him. “She needs stitches on this hand,” he drawled. “And who knows how else she’s hurt. Can’t see a damn thing on her right now. And since ya’ll are more worried about yourselves than her, I’ll take care of it. Why don’t ya just get the hell outta here,” Daryl growled.

Glenn stepped forward. “We are worried about her. But you have to admit that this is—this is—” He didn’t even know what word to use. Daryl just stared at him. You were hugging your arms around yourself now, still shaking. Your eyes were downcast, staring unseeing at the ground.

“Listen, I don’t give a shit what ya do. I’m gettin’ her outta here and taken care of.” He hastily shouldered his pack and his crossbow.

“Just—Daryl,” Rick started, pinching the bridge of his nose, the situation weighing on him heavily. “Clean her up a bit before you take her to Hershel to be looked over.”

The archer eyed him through a narrow glare for a moment before he nodded. He turned back to you, your frame swallowed up in his poncho. “C’mon. Let’s get ya home,” he said gently. Your eyes snapped up to his face again and you allowed him to lead you back toward the farmstead.

He picked a path carefully and finally the two of you broke out from the edge of the forest. The others back in the camp were staring at the tree line, wracked with nerves. Lori straightened up as she recognized movement. “Dale—someone just stepped out.”

Dale, standing on the RV, raised his binoculars to his eyes. “Oh my,” slipped from his lips.

“What? Who is it?” Carol asked anxiously.

“I think it’s Y/N and Daryl,” Dale said. “I can’t quite tell properly, but I think something is wrong with Y/N.” He squinted into the binoculars again. “My God. Her jeans are covered in blood and it—it looks like there’s blood on her neck, her face…”

Carol pressed a hand over her mouth. “Is she hurt?” she asked anxiously. “Was she bit?”

Dale shook his head, lowering the binoculars again. “They’re too far. I can’t tell what’s going on.”

Daryl looked up to see everyone standing almost in a line watching the two of you as you started across the field. He gulped and then put a hand lightly on your back, nervous and unsure of how you would react to the contact. He guided you toward his camp which was closest and was set apart from everyone else’s.

“C’mon and sit down, alright. We’re just gonna clean ya up a bit and then take ya to Hershel.” The look in your eyes was worrying him immensely but you sat down on a round of wood pulled up near the fire ring. He anxiously chewed on his bottom lip, trying to figure out how he could reassure you. “Hey. S’alright. You’re safe.”

You met his blue eyes and he finally saw some sense of relief in them. His stomach flipped at the way they softened and he nodded. He took in the sight of you in his poncho again and realized you’d need something else to wear to go see Hershel that wasn’t half ripped off you. “I’m gonna, uhh—” he cleared his throat nervously. “I’ll put a clean shirt out on my cot for ya. Ya can change in in my tent and then we’ll just clean ya up a bit, alright?” He knew better than to wait for a response and climbed to his feet and disappeared into his tent to set the clothes out. He dug around in his duffel bag until he found one that was still folded tightly, definitely clean, and he set it out for you. You watched the handsome archer reemerge from inside his tent and nod his head toward it. “Alright. Go ahead. I’ll just be right out here.”

He watched you get up and disappear, zipping the door behind you. He paced in front of the fire circle, rubbing his thumb over his bottom lip thoughtfully as the image of you standing there in the woods, frozen, absolutely soaked in blood with your shirt half torn surged forward in his mind and he felt another sickening swell of anger. Jesus. Things could have gone so bad with those men… and they were fucking lucky they were already dead when he got there.

The soft rustling of the tent fabric interrupted his thoughts and you stepped out in his long-sleeved flannel, looking a bit dazed still but more grounded. He nudged his nose up in a nod. “C’mon and sit down,” he said, gesturing to the round of wood again. You sank down on it. Daryl grabbed a bucket of clean water that had been warming in the sun all day. He grabbed a cloth from inside his tent and caught sight of your bloody and torn shirt discarded on the floor, feeling another tight twist between his lungs, like someone had tugged a knot there.

You watched him kneel down in front of you and sink the cloth into the bucket of water, wringing it out before bringing it close to your face. He hesitated short of touching you. “S’this alright?” he drawled.

You gave him a questioning look but finally nodded, just one slight tip of your chin. You closed your eyes as the fabric came in contact with your cheek and Daryl started wiping away the blood. The cloth stained crimson quickly. He cleaned the splatters from across your forehead and your nose and the spots on the other side of your face. With the red stains gone, Daryl could see the shadow of a deep bruise along the side of your jaw. Without thinking he gently clasped your chin and turned your head so he could examine it, a heavy shadow falling over his blue eyes. He sunk the cloth back into the bucket of water and wrung it out again, this time pressing it to the side of your neck.

Despite how gentle he was being, you involuntarily sucked in a sharp hiss of air through your teeth as the cloth found the cut on the side of your neck from the leader’s knife. Your eyes blinked open through your wince.

“Sorry,” Daryl drawled, pulling back to look at the wound. “Jesus… Those assholes had a knife to your neck?” he asked. It was rhetorical and he didn’t expect an answer. He wiped at the blood spatter and you closed your eyes again, trying to breathe deeply and still the trembling you still felt wracking through you. Daryl could hear a shaky quality in your breathing. Soon, your face and neck were clean and Daryl turned his attention to your hands. Your eyes were still shut as he rinsed the cloth out again in the bucket. “Lemme see your hands,” he said softly. You found the deep gravel of his voice comforting.

Out of everyone in your group, you usually felt like Daryl was the only one who really saw you. You’d wanted to get to know him better, but held yourself back. He seemed to seek solitude like you did, and you didn’t want to force yourself into his world.

He took your hand, your palm resting against his, and he swept the cloth lightly over the back of it and down each finger. The sensation sent goosebumps rising on your skin and you glanced up at the concerned and intent expression on his face curiously. You couldn’t even remember the last time anyone had shown you so much attention and care. He took your other hand in his now, the one with gauze around it and the deep gash in your palm. He rubbed the blood from the back of each finger and then flipped it over in his hand. He frowned as he noticed that your blood had soaked through the bandage. “Probably need stitches on this one,” he murmured softly. The cloth tickled over the underside of each finger now, sweeping off the ends. “Alright. Push up them sleeves,” he said, dunking the cloth into the bucket again for what felt like the hundredth time.

“What?” He was startled by your voice and his eyes snapped up to look at you.

He straightened up, one of his eyebrows quirking down at the question. “Ya had a buncha cuts on your arms. We need to clean ‘em up and check ‘em. See if ya need stitches anywhere else.”

You shook your head.

He gave you a questioning look for a long moment and chewed on his bottom lip. “Alright. Ya can do it. I’ll just go tell Hershel you’re on your way in, alright?”

You stared at him for another long moment as he set the cloth on the edge of the bucket, whose water was now stained a dark pink. You glanced up as he climbed to his feet and nodded.

“Alright,” he said. “C’mon up when you’re done and we’ll get that hand taken care of.”

Daryl started over toward the farmhouse and as he approached Carol rushed up to him. “What happened?” she urged him. “Are you okay? Is Y/N?”

He stopped, his hand on one hip. He glanced back out toward the trees and saw the rest of the group making their way back toward camp across the field. “‘M fine,” he drawled. “Y/N ran into some men out there when we were searchin’.”

“Men? What men? What happened? Is she alright?”

Daryl chewed his bottom lip and shrugged vaguely. “I don’t know how to—how to answer that,” he said truthfully.

Confusion muddled Carol’s expression and she glanced in the direction of you over at Daryl’s camp. “Well, what happened?” she asked again.

Daryl looked at her seriously and shrugged vaguely. “Y/N killed ‘em. Didn’t have no choice.” He continued his path up to the house and bounded up the porch steps, knocking on the front door. Carol stared after him, a bit shocked. Maggie answered, looking worried.

“Were those gun shots earlier?” she asked.

Daryl nodded. “Mhm… Hey, can your dad take a look at Y/N?”

“Of course. What happened?” she asked, holding the screen door open so he could step inside.

Hershel was there in an instant. “Daryl. What happened? We heard those shots.”

“Y/N and I were out lookin’ for Sophia. There were some men. She—she ran into some trouble.”

Hershel took a deep breath and nodded. “Is she alright?”

“I think she needs stitches in her hand. She took a good hit to her jaw too. Might have a concussion. I dunno,” he said. He anxiously chewed on his bottom lip again. “I know she’s got some cuts on her arms, defensive wounds, but she wouldn’t let me look at ‘em. Got a cut on her neck.”

“Oh my God,” Maggie said, her hand flying up to her mouth.

“What happened to the men?” Hershel asked.

Daryl quit chewing the side of his thumbnail. “Dead,” he said, watching the old farmer’s reaction closely, but the man’s face was blank. He simply nodded.

“I’ll get my kit. Have her come on in.”

Daryl headed back onto the porch to see how you were doing and you were on your way over. His eyes caught on the dark splatters and stains of blood on your jeans and the slit at the bottom. His stomach twisted. Maybe he should have had you change clothes completely… You were trying to ignore the eyes on you as you made your way over to the house.

Andrea and Lori exchanged a look at the state of your clothes.

“Come on in here and sit down,” Hershel said kindly. “Let’s take a look at that hand.” You offered up your gauze-wrapped hand and Hershel laid it out on the table, unwrapping the already blood-soaked bandage and taking a look at the deep gash. “Pretty deep cut here. Definitely need stitches.” He grabbed a needle from his kit and pricked the end of each of your fingers. They all twitched in response. “You can feel that?” You nodded. “Good. Looks like we dodged any nerve damage. Much deeper and you would have needed major surgery for a cut tendon and who knows what else. Maggie, dear, would you get the sutures set up while I clean this off?”

Nerve damage. Cut tendon. Daryl shifted uncomfortably in his spot leaned up against the wall. You hardly seemed to react to the news at all.

Hershel swabbed at your hand and you shut your eyes against the bite of the alcohol. “Now, Daryl tells me you took a good hit to the jaw. I’m just gonna check it and make sure nothing is broken.” He palpated both sides of your face, across your cheekbones and up your jawline. “Just a bit swollen,” he said. “Did you lose sight when you were hit?” he asked you, grabbing a small pen light and checking the dilation response of each of your pupils. You gulped and nodded. “Do you remember your name?” he asked you. You nodded again. “I need you to answer my questions verbally. I’m interested in your answers but also your speech.”

“My name’s Y/N.”

“When is your birthday?” Hershel asked.

You stared at him. “No one here knows my birthday. How will you know if I’m right or not?”

A small smile grew on Hershel’s face. “I’d say your speech and cognition are fine. Probably a mild concussion though with your eyesight blacking out. You’ll need to take it easy the next few days, rest and fluids, and let me know if you develop any new symptoms like vomiting or nausea, confusion, a worsening headache. Understand?”

You nodded again. “Yes. I understand.”

“Sutures are ready,” Maggie said.

Hershel put on a pair of clean gloves and prepared. “I’m afraid I don’t have anything to numb you,” he said, propping your hand up on a towel so he could see it better.

“It’s alright. I would have told you to save it anyway,” you said. Daryl straightened up from his place against the wall and came to stand next to you. You could feel his eyes on your face.

“You’re one tough cookie,” Hershel said. “Let’s get this taken care of.” You hardly flinched as he passed the needle through…

Outside, Rick and the others were just arriving back at camp. Everyone gathered around and seemed to read on their faces that they were all unsettled.

“Rick,” Lori said, grabbing him into a hug. “What happened? We saw Daryl and Y/N come back. Her jeans were covered in blood.”

Rick looked down at her. “Nothing to worry about. It’s been taken care of.”

“Well, what was it?” Lori pressed him, her eyes still a bit wide and fearful.

Carol spoke up. “Daryl said she ran into some men and they’re—she killed them.”

Glenn and T were avoiding everyone’s eyes while Shane let out a frustrated sigh and paced away from the group, disagreeing with Rick still about the decision not to tell everyone you had clearly gone slasher on those assholes. Provoked or justified or not, Shane felt like that was something everyone should know. He’d gone far enough to describe you as a serial killer before Rick had stood him down. Rick nodded and looked at his wife and then at Andrea and Dale. “Y/N was attacked and she dealt with it. Hershel is gonna patch her up and there’s nothing to worry about.

“What if there are more of those men?” Carol asked fearfully.

“We only ever saw three different boot prints out there,” T reassured her. “But we’ll keep watch like we always do. We’ll be fine.”

Everyone still looked uneasy, but settled back into their tasks. Lori was about to go fetch some more water when Shane grabbed her arm and tugged her around the side of the SUV. She gave him a stern look and pulled her arm from his grasp.

“What?” she snapped at him, a bit unkindly.

“Rick ain’t tellin’ you everythin’,” he said.

Lori just stared Shane with a guarded expression. “I trust my husband. And you used to, too.”

“Yeah, well… What happened out there today? It should concern everyone.” His expression was dark and Lori felt her sense of unease grow.

Shane rubbed a hand over the stubble on his face. “Y/N just—” Shane let out a sigh that had the edge of a growl to it.

“What are you talking about?” Lori pressed him in an undertone. “Are we in danger?”

Shane straightened up and pressed his lips into a thin line briefly before meeting her eyes. “Honestly? I don’t know. But I’m not taking my eyes off that girl.”

Inside, Hershel tied off the final stitch and snipped the suture. “All done.” He applied a layer of antibacterial ointment and wrapped your hand in a fresh dressing. “Try to keep it dry. And I mean it,” he gave you a pointed look, “take it easy for a few days. Daryl, you hold her to that. Anything else you need me to look at? Your arms? Daryl said—” You shook your head no. “Alright.”

The archer straightened up as you climbed to your feet. “Thank you,” you murmured to Hershel.

Daryl held the door for you and you cringed at how everyone’s eyes were on you immediately as you stepped out onto the porch. You avoided them and started heading in the direction of your camp. Daryl was still in step beside you and you hazarded a glance in his direction.

He could read a question in your eyes. “I’ll keep ya company for a bit if that’s alright... Besides, ya should be restin’ and somebody needs to make sure ya take care of yourself.” You didn’t say anything, but that also wasn’t a refusal. Daryl could tell you were still reeling a bit, and he wanted to be there just in case.

You arrived at your separate camp area and watched as Daryl immediately went and stirred up the coals in the fire, adding more wood and soon having a nice blaze going. You headed for your tent and glanced back over your shoulder at him. “Just gonna change,” you said softly. He nodded and went about heating something for you to eat along with water for tea. He was sure you had collected more ingredients and remembered that your bag was still sitting at his camp. He jogged to grab it and brought it back along with your bloodied and torn shirt, not sure what else to do with it. When he got back, you were sitting by the fire in clean and comfortable clothes, his shirt resting over your lap. You held it out to him as he dropped your pack beside you.

“Thanks,” he murmured. The fabric was still warm from your body. “Dunno what ya wanna do with this,” he said, holding yours out in turn.

You stared at it for a long moment before your fingers closed on it and Daryl watched as you immediately tossed it into the fire. In a moment, it was only ashes and embers. He sank down beside you and felt you studying him. He turned and met your eyes and was surprised when you spoke. “You aren’t afraid of me now? Like the others?” you asked softly.

“Nah. Why would I be?”

Your striking eyes focused back on the crackling campfire and the embers dancing upward on the warm torrent of air. “You saw what I did. Why wouldn’t you be?”

Daryl peered at you curiously for a long moment. “Ya were only protectin’ yourself. Can’t say I wouldn’t have done worse if I’d been there,” he drawled, and you could hear anger in the tension in his voice.

“I blacked out,” you said suddenly.

“When they hit ya? Ya, yer gonna have a good bruise tomorrow.”

“That’s not what I mean.” You cradled your injured hand absently in the other. “The last thing I remember was the one starting to cut my jeans and then—then I was just covered in blood and they were all dead. And next thing I know you were taking my knife from me.” You shut your eyes for a moment. “I don’t remember anything else.”

Daryl considered the regretful expression on your face. “Don’t matter. Yer safe. That’s what counts. Those men? They had it comin’.”

You looked up at him in surprise and he simply nodded and then grabbed a mug and filled it with hot water for you. You accepted it and dug into your bag, pulling out the small sack of foraged herbs from the day. You dropped a few berries and leaves into your mug and cradled it with your uninjured hand.

It was nearly sunset and the quality of the light was cooling, oranges turning to reds and then fading into deep purples and inky blues. You allowed yourself to frequently study the archer as he shoved a bowl of reheated stew into your hands or added more wood to the fire. You felt surprisingly at ease with him there and he didn’t seem at all bothered by the passing of so much silence. Maybe the concussion just had you slightly numb, but you didn’t think so.

“You aren’t going to ask me?” you finally said.

Daryl looked over at you and he felt a stirring in his chest at the way the firelight was catching the shine and colors in your hair and the soft shape of your lips. “Ask ya what?”

“How I—Why I—” You didn’t even know how to phrase it really.

Daryl watched you struggled for a moment. “Ain’t none of my business. But if ya wanted to talk about it, I’ll listen. Not gonna lie and say I haven’t wondered about what came before ya were with the group.”

You had been on the verge of speaking it but suddenly lost your nerve and sipped at your tea again. Daryl watched you withdrawing again and rubbed a hand a bit nervously over the back of his neck. Darkness had fallen completely now. “Well, I’ll leave ya alone. Yer probably sick of me anyway,” he drawled. “Get some rest, alright?” Daryl had climbed to his feet and started to head in the direction of his own tent but your voice froze him.

“It’s not that I want to be alone all the time…” Daryl could hear the crackling of the fire in the silence that followed. “It’s just that alone usually feels safer.”

He glanced back at you, turning partially. “Ya. I know the feelin’,” he said gently, pacing back.

You looked up at him and something about your expression, your wide eyes, went straight to his core. “Stay,” you said quietly. “Please.” You chewed on your bottom lip for a moment. “Being with you feels safer…” you admitted, timidly.

Daryl felt an ache in his chest and nodded. He grabbed a seat beside you again and puzzled over this unprecedented turn of events.

You seemed to come to some decision suddenly and looked over at him intensely. He caught your eyes briefly and then watched as you pushed up your right sleeve. At first all he saw were the knife cuts, crimson against your skin, but you turned your forearm toward him in the firelight. “This is what I didn’t want you to see,” you said. You gulped. You’d never told anyone, never shown anyone, literally never talked about what had happened to you since you got out. You’d vowed that you would just move on, but the longer you suffered in silence the worse it seemed to get, until you felt like it would consume you. And then today, with those men, you’d just completely lost it. It had triggered something, a memory or maybe more like a nightmare, and when you came to you were bathed in blood and didn’t even recognize yourself, couldn’t believe what you’d done. Enough was enough. Maybe if you spoke it, admitted it, dealt with it in some way… maybe it’d get easier.

Daryl stared at a scar on your forearm. It looked like a brand and the skin was still slightly pink, showing that it wasn’t that old. It was four numbers. 1048.

[moemammon]

When I was in High School, my crush and I got into a fight and neither of us were talking to each other. One day I was headed up the stairwell to get to my science class, when I saw them coming up from behind... I don't think they had even noticed me yet considering that they were busy talking to their friend BUT I am slow going up stairs so even if I rushed up the stairs roadrunner style they would have caught up to me, well; the little corner that connects the steps going up to the second floor and the steps heading down to the ground floor had a large open window... and I jumped out, like I literally just jumped out. I didn't even think it through, I just saw the window and my body was like "Yep, IK what to do." I landed on a bush or tree? It's too big to call a bush but too small to call a tree, landed in a squat before my feet gave out and I fall onto my knees and got two large grass stains on my jeans knee part, couldn't walk right either after that landing, I was shaky all day lol but it was a risk well calculated bc the whole thing would have been so awkward. I mean we used to be like BFFS before the rumors began and then they started and we just stopped talking without warning, we couldn't even look at each other. Our science partners, bc we were in groups of four, literally got fed up of our bullshit bc we literally refused to acknowledge the others existence... anyway, I digress...

Anyway, this whole story is a long winded way of me requesting how the brothers would react to an MC that literally just jumps out windows to avoid awkward moments, or to dodge people that want to ask them for favors, or when they straight up want to avoid someone?

And sorry about the large ass message, but thanks for letting me vent

You have a special place in my heart, window-jumping anon. Just uhhhhhhh look down next time okay? Ily

The Demon Brothers react to GN!MC jumping out of a window to avoid an awkward moment

(Mario jumping sound effect)

Lucifer

He approached you after class to ask exactly what you were snickering at your D.D.D. about during class.

Must've been real funny if you weren't listening to your lecture, huh?

"I imagine you've somehow found something worthy of laughing about in Demonology 101?"

You do not have the guts to tell him that you and Mammon were texting back and forth, abusing a new photo editing app to alter pictures of the eldest himself.

I mean, take a wild guess about how he’d react to seeing how big you edited his head to be-

The avatar of pride lets his eyes pierce into you, like he's trying to stare a hole through your blanket of "uh"s and "um"s,

You don't exactly see a way out of this one, but you can NOT let Lucifer see your photo gallery.

So you glance to your left to the open classroom window, and do the only thing you can think of: you jump.

Luckily you're on the ground floor so you??? really didn't have to jump so dramatically. But the fact that you yeeted yourself into a bush JUST to escape has left Lucifer speechless.

Honestly? He so impressed with your dedication that he's not gonna stop you. Besides, he's gonna see you back at home anyway so-

Also thinks you might be hanging around Mammon too much because that 100% seems like a stunt he’d pull.

Mammon

GIVE GOLDIE BACK RIGHT NOW

He KNOWS Lucifer told you to bring the credit card to him, and he demands to know where it's hidden! He's positive you know where it is!

But you don't really though?? You just brought the card to him like you were asked. If anything, you're the victim here!

But Mammon isn't having that. The avatar of greed is circling around you like an angry cat, patting you all over like airport security to see if you've got his beloved card.

"Where is it, huh?! Ya really think you can steal from THE Mammon?! Even if Lucifer told ya to, who do ya think you are?!"

When he has confirmed that you don't in fact have his previous Goldie, he's now cornering you up against a wall.

If looks could kill, you would've exploded into a fine powder

And you feel like your mental strength is about to do just that. So what do you do after you notices the slightest of breezes caress your face?

You jump outta that open window, before Mammon can even finish his "Wh- Oi! What're ya-"

Even though you just face planted into the garden, you're up on your feet and making a mad dash for somewhere that wasn't here.

Mammon lets you run for ten while seconds before he's hopping out after you. You think you can outfox the Great Mammon?! Think again!!!

Levi

You... weren't interested in this movie in the slightest, but you didn't have the heart to tell Levi that. Especially not after he’d begged/harassed you for the past week about watching it with him!

Reluctantly you agreed, and now you were suffering,,,But Levi was ecstatic! This movie was a classic! Sure it was an old one and the acting was a little bad, but you could overlook that if you watched it with your heart, not your eyes!

According to Levi.

You managed to keep your eyes open for the grueling one and a half hour movie, enduring every corny line of bad acting, horrible CGI, and lame sound effects straight out of a 90s super hero movie, and now the hell was finally over...

Or so you though, until Levi followed that up by immediately pulling out a cosplay outfit worn by one of the supporting characters in the show.

Funny how it seemed specifically tailored to your measurements. Even funnier how Levi was looking at you with those damned eyes.

You knew what he wanted without him even having to say it. But one look at the gaudy outfit he presented to you made your heart burn with a sudden indescribable urge.... to escape.

Honestly you caught him so off guard by suddenly getting up and sprinting out of the room, that he makes a sound that's pretty much the noise equivalent of "?!?!?!?!?!?"

He watches you run down to the end of the hall, throw the window open, and fuckin JUMP. Pretty sure he just witnessed your death??

Also this kinda solidified his 'gross otaku' mentality, seeing as you literally jumped out of a window to get out of cosplaying with him. A simple no would've sufficed, MC.......,.,,..,,,

Hey gamers... can we get an F in the chat? 😔✌️💦

Satan

Satan lent you a book to read last week that he was sure you'd be interested in! He found it pretty interesting himself, so he wants to see if you'd like it as much as he did.

That being said, you don't have the heart to tell him that you,,, didn't read any of it. Well you kind of did, if the cover counts for anything.

You doubt he would accept that as an answer, considering how you told him how much you appreciated receiving the book, and how you'd definitely read it and let him know how it was.

So now, Satan had come into your room with two cups of tea, ready to settle down and have a nice, long talk about your thoughts on the riveting plot that you promised you would indulge in.

"I'm really glad you decided to read it. I found that the protagonist reminded me a lot like you. I'd like to know what you thought about it."

Satan sets down the tea cups, and one sip tells you that he brewed it exactly the way you like.

His expression is eager and warm as he waits for you to begin gushing about just how deeply the story touched you... how absolutely moved you are by the sheer majesty that was the book he lent you...

Okay yeah, you're sweating bullets. You can't imagine how the sparkly eyed avatar of wrath would react to learning that you chose the company of your D.D.D. over Satan's book.

You don't have such an ice cold hard that you can just crush this book nerds dreams like that! And every time you look at his expectant face, the weight of your crimes weigh heavier on you until... you break.

Satan watches in shock and awe as you almost perfectly reenact the big scene where the main character leaps out of the window of a building rigged to explode, before making their escape. And you did just that.

Wow.. he never thought you could be so moved by a story, but he completely understands...

Asmo

How many outfits, Asmo. HOW MANY OUTFTITS WILL IT TAKE TO APPEASE YOU?

He's made you model TWELVE outfits so far, and you swear if you see another ascot, you're gonna lose your mind.

Asmodeus doesn't seem to notice the way the light slowly fades from your eyes, because he's pulling out outfit number thirteen with that cheery smile of his.

"Isn't this one absolutely adorable? Look, this part will look lovely around your waist! This part here hugs your body in all the right places, and this-"

You can't do it. You've gotta get out of here. You'd love to stand around and get mild rug burn from trying on a billion different clothes, but-

Actually no you wouldn't.

You DID promise Asmo you'd hang out with him today, but this wasn't really your idea of a good time.

"-Oooh, just thinking about it makes me want to eat you up~! Here, put it on for me, will you? I'll give you a kiss as a reward!"

You would do no such thing.

You make a mad dash for his ornate window and push it open. He has no time to stop you as he helplessly watches you vault yourself out like the room was on fire.

"MC?! Wh-where are you going?? Come back here! Grass stains are impossible to get out of that fabric!!!"

Beel

He means well. I swear he does. It's just that Beel can be a little... overbearing when he's worried about you. He cares, okay?

But he hasn't seen you eat anything all day! You tell him it's because you've got a stomach ache from who knows what, and you promise you've had little snacks here and there to keep from starving, but he can't accept that!

Eating is important, and you need it to survive. So Beelzebub was currently trying to nudge your mouth open with a pizza slice, while you vehemently refused. "Just one bite. And then another after that. You have to eat, or you'll go hungry... and I don't want that."

Beel knows the true pain of being hungry, and he’d never wish that on you! So just forget about your stomach ache for two seconds and open up-

Not that you really can. The aroma of that pizza was not sitting well on your stomach, and you were pretty sure you needed a fast escape or you'd risk losing your lunch. Greasy foods didn't exactly mix well with sour stomachs...

Beel still won't let up. He has a strong hand planted firmly on the small of your back, as if trying to prevent you from leaning back any further in your attempt to escape the pizza.

"If you eat this, I'll treat you to dessert at Madam Screams," he says, as if bribing your refusal of food USING food will somehow work out.

You can't break his heart, but you seriously can't eat that! Your head is spinning, thoughts racing, face becoming greasier and greasier from the pizza pressed against it, and-

You snap. In a sudden burst of strength you break free from Beel's grasp, and sprint toward the nearest window. All you see is your chance for freedom, and you're taking it.

You leap out and tumble into the ground, all while Beelzebub wonders what?? Just happened???? Did you really hate pizza that much...?

He never knew you were such a picky eater... To think you'd go so far as to jump out of the window though...

Belphie

You thought it was cute at first, when Belphegor wanted you to join him for his naps. And you didn't mind much. It was the weekend, you were tired, and he makes a pretty good body pillow.

But you didn't realize he planned for this to become an everyday thing. The youngest might not act it, but he sure could be spoiled.

But seriously, if you slept any longer, you might never have a normal sleep schedule again! It never occurred to you just how often Belphie sleeps.

He's definitely not human, because there's no way you can keep up with that, and maintain a normal lifestyle.

But the way he quietly, gently grabs your sleeve to cue your next nap session makes your heart clench. Why was it so damned hard to say no to this gremlin??

You were trying your best though, but the words always seemed to get caught in your throat. Belphie picked apart your excuses, doing everything in his power to take you back to the attic.

"You can study when you wake up." "Mammon wants to go shopping? Reschedule." "Lucifer told you not to be late to the board meeting? Just hide."

You're starting to get sucked into the sleepy lull of his voice, and it feels like your entire body is becoming heavy with fatigue. But no.... you resist!

Since there's no escaping this through words, you have to think fast. Fortunately, your fast thinking has led to an amazing solution!

Jump out of the window, baby

Belphie is just??? Did you fuckin???? Are your legs okay??????????????

He probably stops asking you to nap with him for a while, since you're willing to almost break your legs just to get out of it. You're gonna make him have weird dreams....

[doubledgesword-2]

Breeding Kink

I’m taking this as a kink instead so I hope that’s alright for the request! I apologize if it isn’t! I treated them like drabbles and if I’m honest I’m a bit disappointed in my work ;-; this rose tea is not my best.

Illumi

You opened your door to your pitch-black apartment with the same sluggishness and tiredness you had walking all the way from your work to here. Today had been one of those days, and those were fine once in a while...but the entire week? No, that was not normal. You had been on edge and stressed to the point of burning out. So the plans for this evening consisted of showering, eating something quick, and just dying on your bed. That was until you noticed the figure sitting on your sofa.

Illumi's back was to you; he was so still and quiet, you might as well think he fell asleep while sitting.

"You're late," his voice cut through the silence.

"I didn't know I was expected," you replied, and it was the truth; Illumi had left for a week on a job and didn't even called you. You weren't feeling particularly forgiving this evening, and the edge of your tone contrasted the calm and monotony in his

"It's been a long day, Illumi, is there anything I can do for you?"

Your relationship wasn't the best when it came to normal; there was a lot of miscommunication or lack of it. But Illumi did his best, he was interested in you, and that didn't happen often.

"As my love interest, you should always expect me is a quality that every wife should have. It's their job to wait for their husbands no matter how long they take" Illumi turned slightly to look into your eyes as he talked.

You perked up at the word wife; he had never made allusions to marriage, at least not directly like this. You knew his goals when it came to relationships. Still, you always expected him to leave you in the end for someone more suitable, almost royalty. After all, his parents were very demanding, and you knew you didn't fit the role of the perfect wife, starting with the fact that you worked a regular job and haven't found your nen if you even had one.

"But we're not married, Illumi. Besides, I don't think your parents would approve of someone as vain as me. I'm not strong, and I don't meet the qualifications. So..." you shrugged in the end, dropping your keys on the counter and your bag nearby.

Your hand went to flip the switch; all this talk in the darkness was unnerving you, especially when you took into consideration Illumi was an assassin. Right when you flipped the switch, Illumi's hand was on your wrist, turning off the lights once more. You could feel his toned chest as he pulled you close to him. For a second, you struggled in a fight or flight response, and Illumi's face went to the crook of your neck. His breath on your neck sent chills down your spine as he planted a feather-like kiss on your pulse. The action almost threatening, and it made you swallow. The fear and desire burned equally in your veins as he stretched your clothes, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses all the way to your shoulder.

"I think I've given you too much freedom. Do you think you're in control in this relationship?" He whispered to your shoulder, his other hand holding you tightly to him. "Do you think you can talk back to me just because you're tired? If you're going to be my wife, you need to learn how to behave properly."

Illumi slammed you down on the island counter, both of your hands twisted on your back held with one hand. You gasped and yelped as he did so. Whether it was from desire or fear, you didn't know. He bent over you, leaning close to the side of your head, nibbling your earlobe and whispering.

"Don't worry, I'll teach you" Illumi's free hand caressed your side, going down and squeezing everything he could. "The first lesson is to obey my every command. Can you do that?"

You nodded frantically, and he tilted his head innocently as if he wasn't holding you down or grinding into your hips slowly.

"Good girl" Illumi turned your body so you'd be laying on your back facing him. His hands went to your shirt, ripping it open, sending the buttons flying all around.

"Second, we have to continue the Zoldyck Legacy..." Illumi caressed a trail down your stomach and undid his pants, his eyes never leaving yours.

"I'll ensure you're filled to the brim, just to be sure it takes. We still have all night to try."

Hisoka

Hisoka had managed to find you where you were staying. You were on a short business trip. After he had disappeared to go on another gig, you didn't think it would matter if you actually did the same for the same reason. But Hisoka didn't like that. Like the petulant child he is, he was expecting to arrive home and be received and welcomed with a nice meal and some more relaxing activities afterward. But all he got was a nicely written note on the counter explaining your absence.

P.S feed your cat dummy :)

"Hmm," the cat meow made him look down to the fluff currently sitting at his feet, "She left you too, huh? Well, at least you welcomed me." He said in a bitterly playful tone.

After feeding the adorable and fearsome beast that guarded your apartment, he went on to look for you. He wanted your attention, and he wanted it now.

You had been staying at a company-paid hotel near the station. It was a relatively short trip, three days max, counting on everything going according to the agenda. After you had finished your last reports, you were set for a nice shower and sleep. Your stomach growling said otherwise, though. So you ordered some room service and went to shower quickly just in case the food came. When you were out in your robes, there was a knock on the door.

"Coming"

You opened the door, still drying your hair, when you looked up at the man serving you. It was Hisoka. Somewhere along the way, after he figured where you were, he had seen the boy coming up with your food, and once that was temporarily disposed of, he went on to serve you.

"Mmm, hello (Y/N)-Chan, how lovely to see you" he rolled the cart inside the room and closed the door by slamming you into it.

"Hisoka, w-what are you doing here?"

"I was lonely and bored. You left me all alone" He licked a trip up your neck all the way to your cheek.

"You leave alone all the time; what's the difference?" You were angry at that statement, 'how dare he?'

Hisoka's eyes widened for a split second, but not in shock, more in amusement.

"Oh," he chuckled, the tone dangerous, "my bad, little pet, I didn't realize this was such a sensitive topic" his tone was whimsical and mocking.

"Here, let's eat, and maybe you'll feel better" without giving you a chance, Hisoka grabbed your arms and flung you into the bed.

After your first release, you felt tired. You had been working nonstop for these two days. Your eyes closed, and his half-lidded ones are the last thing you remember.

"You actually passed out, doll. Was our sexy time too much to handle, or have I been mistreating you all these weeks I wasn't there, hmm~?"

You let out a breath at his playful look. He was rubbing circles on your exposed stomach while straddling you.

"Mmm, I think you're not relaxed enough; we might as well try again. After all, you let all my efforts slip out; I'll have to work hard to fill you up again~" he pouted playfully, looking over your tired form. "Don't worry, you can sleep while I'm at it, little fruit."

Chrollo

You were currently perched on your island counter chair like a vulture looking down at its prey. The entire week had been a mess of deadlines, due dates, and unhelpful people. To say you were stressed was an understatement. You were so stressed you no longer felt stressed.

That's how Chrollo found you when he entered your house. He could've used the front door, but he wanted to surprise you, and now he was worried about your confused face staring down the laptop screen.

You were so concentrated that when his hand laid on your shoulder, you jumped with a yelp.

"Argh, don't scare me like that," you chuckled, giving him a quick peck on the cheek but immediately turned to the computer screen once more.

Chrollo pouted slightly. He had been gone for an entirety of two weeks because of a small job; the least he expected was to be received with kisses, praise, and hugs like it was a kings parade.

He understood the stress, but he wasn't having it.

"Have you eaten anything?" He casually asked.

"Not really, but I can make you something if you want?" Chrollo gave a small smiled at the fact that you'd roll were willing to attend to him. You just needed to relax.

"Don't worry, love, I'll go shower" you nodded, and he turned, making his way down the hall and disappearing. You heard the water turn on muffled because of the closed door.

While you were concentrated on your work Chrollo slipped out of the bathroom, he grabbed you by the waist, spinning you and slamming you against the wall. His lips were possessive and angry as he kissed you. Sandwiched between his toned chest and the wall, you tried to push him back but eventually gave in to the way his fingers caressed your sides, his tongue forced yours into submission, and how he grinds his hips suggestively.

"Chrollo," you gasped when he finally let go of your swollen lips to suck on the skin of your neck. "I have to w-work."

At the mention of it, he bit down hard on your shoulder, making you Yelp.

"No more work" he licked the bite, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses. "I just returned, expecting my little darling to receive me with kisses and at least one hug. But instead," his free hand grabbed your hips tightly enough to bruise, "you've overworked to the bone" your hands held his head close to your chest, ruffling his hair in the process and making him look even hotter.

"I-I"

"It's alright, I know how you can make it better" kiss on your shoulder.

"for both of us" kiss on your jaw.

"I'm going to shower, and you're coming with me; after getting on your knees for me, you can let me fill you up nicely."

"But-t" a moan slipped your lips as his knee went between your legs.

"And if you keep protesting, I'll just keep stuffing you until you can't think straight. See if you can work after that"

I hope this was good! I’m sorry if I butchered this 😭

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (June 2/2021) - Self-Care and Reconciliation

Fundy tries some speedy self-care to follow Quackity’s directions of “finding himself.”

Foolish finds out about the supreme fridge and isn’t pleased. 

Antfrost seeks out Foolish, Bad and Puffy to find peace and make amends after what happened with the Egg. 

---

VOD LINKS:

Philza

Tubbo

Fundy

Foolish

Eret

Captain Puffy

Antfrost

Michaelmcchill

---

- Phil works on the basement some more

- Tubbo works on his outpost

- Tubbo comes over to the Arctic and visits Phil in his basement to “spy” on him 

- They go to Tubbo’s outpost and Tubbo asks if Phil would like to make a TNT canon with him. Phil sees Las Nevadas 

- Tubbo’s a changed person since he tried to kill Phil’s friend, and now he and Phil are on good terms!

- Tubbo and Phil start attempting to wrangle a Ghast together for the outpost

- A few days ago, Quackity told Fundy that he could have a plot of land in Las Nevadas under certain circumstances, and Fundy has a choice to join the nation or not

- When he and Quackity spoke, Quackity said that this plot of land can be his if Fundy can find himself. Fundy needs to fix what’s broken

- Living in the middle of nowhere away from other people isn’t good, so today, Fundy wants to take care of himself and become a better person

- Fundy’s snow fox is outside, but Fundy decides to let him roam for the time being

- Fundy goes outside and creates a board with signs: 

FUNDY’S PLAN TO BECOME BETTER MAN:

Healthy diet! fish, steak, vegetables, fruit, dary, grains

Take care of himself. be able to cut down tree fast

mine diamonds

be able to accept therapy say “im okay with therapy”

good friends, get 3 people to say im a friend

sleep

take care of pet :)

learn to count

- He sets up a timer to do these eight things, and once it starts, he immediately runs off to fix his diet

- Fundy fetches some cod from the sea and spots Tubbo’s outpost in the distance. Curious, he goes over -- if someone lives there, that can go towards his friend goal

- Seeing that Tubbo isn’t online, Fundy messages Phil instead. He asks if they are friends, and Phil just asks what he wants. After a lot more pressing, Phil says they are friends! Fundy is his grandson, after all

- Phil asks if Fundy is safe. Fundy is overjoyed that he cares about his safety, and counts that as two friends! Fundy says he should come by to play cards sometimes, and Phil likes the idea

- To himself, Fundy whispers: “You are a friend and you are appreciated and worth something. You are cool. You are special. You are loved.” 

He counts this as the final friend, and has now completed one goal!

- He creates a small patch of dirt and plants wheat, then goes mining for diamonds

- Fundy chops some trees and returns to his house

- On his bed, he psyches himself up and musters up the courage to say something

Fundy: “I...accept...and am okay...with...”

(he struggles to say the last word)

Fundy: “I accept and am okay with...therapy. I accept and am okay with THERAPY!”

- He then goes outside and learns to count by killing zombies

- After that, he has to go find his pet snow fox. He asks a nearby Enderman where he is

- Fundy and the Enderman go searching together

- Fundy can’t find the fox. He keeps searching around the forest, until he comes back towards his house and finally finds the fox sleeping on a nearby hill

- With all his other goals done, there is only one remaining: sleep.

- He goes to his bed, hesitates...

...and sleeps.

(This is a set up for next stream)

- Foolish returns to his summer home from Las Nevadas and finds the WAR sign, confused. He then notices the disappearance of the supreme fridge

- He reads the war note left in the chest for Ponk and is outraged. That fridge was his gift! Of all the buildings that have been built here, the fridge was the one thing he allowed

- There will be consequences, but as Foolish will be gone for a bit, he can’t do anything now. 

- Foolish begins to go through the stages of grief, mourning the fridge, before leaving a note:

---

You destroyed my fridge. It was my gift from Ponk. The one structure that was built for me on this server was destroyed. Once I go through the 5 stages of grief...I will then add on a bonus stage.......REVENGE

---

- He kills one of the L’Sandburg citizen llamas to send a message

- Foolish goes to the main area and visits Eret’s fortress, noticing the totem statue Eret made in mourning. He changes the sign to simply say “in honor of Foolish” instead

- While working on his pyramid some more at the summer home, Foolish notices Antfrost just over the hill. Ant comes over, seeking to apologize for killing Foolish

Foolish: Listen Ant. From the very start I blamed the egg. And I don’t believe the REAL Antfrost killed me. Nice to see some blue eyes as well

Ant: but we didn’t listen to your warnings, we had our chances and we betrayed you and our friends. I wouldn’t blame you if you killed me right here

- Foolish doesn’t. He tells Ant that he’s moving on. 

- Ant asks if there’s any way to make it up to him, and Foolish says he could use some help gathering sand (Antfrost finds sand tasty, but Foolish doesn’t eat sand. It has too many calories)

- The two gather sand together

Foolish: I hold nothing against you

Ant: thank you

Foolish: Honestly I think the banquet has changed me for the better

Ant: how so

Foolish: It has given me new found strength. Basically from here on out...I’ll be less timid to take action

Ant: well at least something good came out of it

Foolish: So how about you Antfrost, what’s next for the old sly cat

Ant: I need to talk to Puffy and Bad and Sam and everyone I’ve wronged

- Ant asks if Foolish has seen Puffy anywhere, whether there’s something he can give her as a peace offering. She likes llamas

- Foolish thanks Ant for his help. Ant says if Foolish needs anything, to let him know. Foolish looks forward to happier times

- Puffy comes on later and finds the book Foolish left in the chest. She reads it, but she still thinks getting rid of the fridge was better for the aesthetic, and she had to get back at Ponk

- She writes another letter, this time to Foolish, titled “To my sharkyson”:

---

Dear Foolish!

It was not my intention to make you sad or angry! I didn’t know you cared so much for the fridge as well. it was kinda ugly and it stood out so much from the rest of the builds! But I assure you I’m not allied with Bad, my whole goal behind L’llamaburg was to keep an eye on Bad so he didn’t build any further on your land or cause you more problems.

Once Bad was gone I fully intended to disband l’llamaburg and tear it down!

Sorry for any sadness I may of caused.. you don’t need a fridge though to be reminded of how Supreme you are!

---

- Ant is at the animal sanctuary. Everything’s been destroyed, but at least Floof is still alive

- He saves Asshole the fish from suffocating out of the water and puts the fish back in the aquarium

- Ant goes looking for Bad. They need to talk

- They meet at the Community House. Bad hasn’t seen Ant in a while, he hasn’t been around. Bad asks if Ant is okay, and Ant doesn’t know. He died

- Ant asks what happened. Bad says things didn’t work out according to plan. Ant remembers Quackity coming in at the Banquet...

Ant: “Bad, what did we do? I killed Foolish...”

- Bad says stuff happens and he doesn’t think anyone would blame Ant

Ant: “Bad, I killed him! What do you mean you don’t think anyone blames -- Bad, we’re monsters! Do you know what we did?”

Bad: “W-well, I try not to think about it!”

Ant: “Well you can’t just ignore -- you can’t act like we didn’t do -- Bad, I killed Foolish, we were gonna kill E-- oh my god, Eret’s on the server too.”

- Bad thinks it’s fine, Foolish will recover and Puffy killed Ant but it was one for one. Ant remembers all the horrible things he said to Puffy before he killed Foolish and asks where Bad went afterwards

- Bad had no choice but to run. He couldn’t save Ant, they were outnumbered

Ant: “...Do you not feel bad about anything? Bad, we’re...we’re mon-- we did horrible things!”

Bad: “Well I mean, yeah, you did do some horrible stuff...”

Ant: “No, YOU! You did some horrible stuff! Who pushed Skeppy into lava, Bad? Who betrayed their friends? We betrayed Sam, Bad!”

Bad: “Okay, we did some horrible stuff -- hey, no! Okay, but -- there were good reasons at the time, or we felt like there was!”

Ant: “No! No no, Bad, we let the Egg control us! No! Did the Egg give you what it promised?”

Bad: “No, ‘cause...we never completed the plan...whatever it was. Ant, I can’t remember exactly...it’s not -- look, it’s -- I don’t know...”

- Ant asks if he’s talked to Sam and Puffy yet. Bad’s trying not to think about it, but Ant says they can’t ignore this. They’re friends, they should make amends

- Ant asks if Bad’s been back down there, but Bad’s steered clear. Ant is feeling normal again

Ant: “I...Bad, do you not...We’re fucked up! We did horrible things! Our friends tried to stop us, and we didn’t listen! We didn’t do anything!”

Bad: “There’s a lot of ‘we’ going on here...”

- Bad points out Ant didn’t really say anything. Ant accuses him of blaming him

Bad: “No, I’m just saying that...if the collar fits!”

- Ant says they both did horrible things, they dragged Hannah in, Punz too and Ponk. Bad hasn’t checked up on those three since. It doesn’t seem like Bad feels bad. Ant’s been gone because he felt ashamed

- If there’s anybody that they’ve hurt the most, it’s Sam. They were the Badlands

- Bad says they were brainwashed. He knows it’s not an excuse, that they should still own up to it even if they weren’t fully to blame

- They both killed one person each. Ant accuses Bad of putting the blame on him again and says that Bad killing Skeppy was worse because they’re platonic soulmates

- Ant wants an apology for letting him die and leaving him. Bad didn’t do anything, he just watched Ant die. Bad was caught off guard. On the other hand, maybe it was a good thing that Ant died, since otherwise they would’ve killed more people

- Ant says they should own up. Bad apologizes for letting Puffy kill Ant. He should have protected Ant, not just from Puffy but from the Egg too. Ant forgives Bad and says sorry for not protecting Bad from the Egg either

- Seeing as Puffy’s online, Ant suggests they go look for her. Bad says he’ll talk to Puffy later. Ant asks about Skeppy -- Bad talked to Skeppy right after what happened, but he hasn���t seen Skeppy since. They had a bit of a confrontation

- Ant wonders if Sam will forgive them. The Badlands wouldn’t be the same without him. He leaves Bad

- Puffy comes down the Prime Path and meets Antfrost face-to-face. The two have a bit of an awkward greeting

- Puffy reminds him of what happened. He doesn’t know how to apologize, but he says sorry. For saying awful things, for killing Foolish. He doesn’t expect her to forgive him, but he apologizes for what he did

- Puffy says it wasn’t right that she killed him, even though she was acting defensively, and she apologizes as well. Ant didn’t deserve to die either, he was blinded by the Egg. She holds Bad more to blame -- Antfrost talked to him recently

- Puffy forgives Ant. She asks how Bad handled it, and Antfrost says Bad is full of guilt and is hoping he can just forget about it

- Bad hasn’t apologized to Puffy, but Ant says he’ll get around to talking to everyone. Puffy made a burner Twitter account to hate on Badboyhalo and if she doesn’t get an apology, she might have to use it

- About L’Sandburg, Ant says he was there for like five minutes, but he doesn’t know what’s been happening since

Puffy: “Ant, you have to be your own person, Ant. He always uses you as his little pet to do things for you, and you murdered a man now because of it, because of Bad.”

Bad uses Antfrost to do things. Why didn’t Bad kill Foolish himself? Why was Antfrost thrown under the bus?

- She tells Ant that he needs to stand up for himself. She had to watch so many “RIP that pussy” and “Why’d you have to kill my cat” edits, it was the worst timing

- Puffy messages Bad asking if he’s apologized to Ant. They spot Bad nearby and walk over to confront him. He’s selling arrows

- Bad says he said sorry for letting Ant die, but Ant wants an apology for Bad making him do everything. Bad says they were both just following the Egg’s orders, that Ant had a grudge against Foolish -- but Ant says he didn’t, that Bad said he had to kill people

- Bad says sorry, but the Egg just wanted it that way. They accuse him of making excuses. Bad apologizes to Antfrost for making him kill Foolish, and the two hug

- Bad and Skeppy had a disagreement after the Red Banquet, and he has to check up with him to make sure he’s okay

- Bad says sorry to Puffy for what they did while under the Egg’s influence. Puffy was told that they were turning a new leaf, letting bygones be bygones so many times that if she took a shot every time she was told that, she would get alcohol poisoning

- Bad says sorry for everything to both of them, from the bottom of his heart. Puffy accepts to be the bigger person. They’ve always been a trio, always been friends, and now that the Egg’s no longer here, she’ll let it slide

- They do a group hug

- After some chatting, Puffy accuses Bad of having a Wattpad account to write Skephalo fanfiction and they continue talking about Skeppy’s merch boxes

- Michael joins the call! They all hang out together

- Later on, Eret and Foolish join in as well! 

- A while after, they all go over to Ponk’s stairway to heaven to finally destroy it

(The build dates back to at least early July, possibly June, of 2020)

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Upcoming events remain the same.