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kikilefangirl · 4 years ago

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Old Ties

Oscar “Spooky” Diaz x Reader

(Word Count: 1629)

This was your first time back from school since Christmas, and you missed home. You had elected to stay in an apartment near campus for the summer and rarely went back.

This was your birthday weekend, and you had to see your family and old friends after going so long without. Sometimes your mom joked you were too slippery to answer the phone, let alone stay on for long. It was true, with one notable exception: your baby brother Jamal.

“Y/N!” He hollered excitedly. You laughed when you pulled up because he had a fake neck brace on as his injury of the month. And his friends were there, all grown up.

“‘Mal! It’s so good to see you.”

“What about me?” Ruby asked incredulously.

“You too, Ruby. Monsé, look at you!” You praised. Then you were one off your count.

“Where’s Cesar?”

He was the only one missing from the group. Each kid had different emotions flash across their faces. Oh. You knew the feeling.

“Well get in, we’re going to get him.” You declared. They let out a chorus of protests and excuses, but you had already started the car.

“A seat has some of my bags in it, so one of y’all sitting in the middle.” You added.

You hadn’t been home five minutes and were already on your way to him. Indirectly, of course. All three kids piled in, and you drove off after a moan from Ruby about sitting in the middle seat.

“How do you know the way there?” Jamal asked skeptically. You gave him some throwaway response and put on some lip gloss.

You knew damn well why you expertly made the short drive to Spooky’s house, but they didn’t need to know that. Sooner that you were prepared to, you pulled up and hopped out.

You never once broke your stride past Santos and hynas. You heard your car doors slam, so the others were behind you, but you pressed on without soaring them a glance.

The music blasted along with the roar of engines and laughs from partygoers and clinking bottles. Your breath caught in your throat as you headed farther back in the driveway.

There he was, sitting down smoking a blunt next to him was Cesar. Damn, the kids had gotten older.

“Never thought I’d see you here.” Oscar said, finally.

He exhaled, and stood up not two feet away from you. Plump lips, intense brown eyes, no. You were never able to turn away from him.

Oscar was still fine as hell and you were losing focus.

“I came here to get Cesar.”

Not you.

The unsaid words were heavy between the two of you. Everyone who wasn’t drunk or oblivious could see the battle of wills going on. Even Cesar looked confused, and it was technically about him.

“He goes.” Oscar started, bringing a hand to your cheek, “You stay.”

Closure, you decided, was some bullshit because after two years of heartbreak and your determination to stay away...You accepted his trade.

Jamal, of course had heart palpitations the second a yes flew out your mouth. Ruby paled at the idea, and Monsé was staring at Cesar.

As soon as they left, it gave you some peace watching the four of them go off like they used to. Oscar struggled with the worst hand he could’ve been dealt, but his brother didn’t have to go through the same. Cesar was a different kid; Cesar was still somewhat allowed to be a kid.

Oscar put out his blunt and brought you inside.

You filled your eyes at the hoots and whistles from outside as you shut the screen door and then the real one.

You and Oscar were truly alone, now.

“How long before you’re gone, again.” He lamented, pulling out two beers from the fridge.

You winced at his words.

“The weekend.” You admitted. Spooky scoffed at you as he popped the top off of either bottle. He slid one over to you as you tapped your nails on the counter.

“Got over your little cholo phase and dipped, huh.” He spat out. You slammed your hand on the counter. Your palm stung from the impact, but your anger was more pressing.

“You know good and goddamn well that wasn’t it. Do I look like some white girl who took the wrong bus and got lost!” You roared at him.

He made it seem like an easy choice for you. That it was easy leaving everyone and everything for a whole new world you’d never even really seen before.

You flared your nostrils at Oscar, mostly to keep the tears at bay.

“I told myself I wasn’t gonna do this shit, Osc. You gonna keep doing your Santo shit, and I’m supposed to what? Sit here popping out your babies so twenty years from now they supposed to do the same shit? You go down, and I don’t got nothing to stand on? No.”

You shook your head violently. No. No, no, no. You spied where he kept his good liquor and grabbed it. You guzzled as much as you could in one pass.

Oscar stood there watching you with a look you couldn’t care to decipher.

Modesty wasn’t exactly a priority between you two. You and Oscar dealt in the raw, honest truth. It was what cooled the two of you, and it was doing so now. You knew it and he knew it.

“You messing with anyone up there?” He asked. Oscar was steady in his slow, rolling voice. Never tentative, always patient.

“Nothing serious.” You admitted. There was a fling that lasted a couple weeks in May, a failed date or two, and a car hookup once. In short, no one was ever him.

“You?” You stared intently at him, searching his eyes for any hint he was holding back.

Oscar’s list of names was shorter than yours. And to your surprise, you let out a sigh of relief.

He smirked and put his hand over yours, squeezing it for reassurance.

“We’re okay.” He said and against all reason you believed him.

He leaned in closer, and pulled you into a hug.

But like the ass he was, Oscar chose a less romantic course. His breath fanned your neck, and you short circuited. You always went blank when Oscar was so close to you and he took full advantage.

You had the willpower of a goldfish.

You hopped up on the counter, the two of you exchanging hungry, passionate kisses, desperate to make up for lost time and old grievances.

...

You stayed at the house well into the night.

You sweated out your edges, smudged your makeup, and damn near limped back to your car. By the time you left, the party had gone somewhere else and the lot was quiet. Not even Cesar had returned.

You sat in your car and Oscar leaned into the window.

“Happy Birthday.” He said. You smiled and gave him a long kiss, savoring the memory of him. When you pulled away, you deflated.

“I’m going back to school on Monday.” You said softly. You drummed on the steering wheel.

“Then come back tomorrow.” He suggested. It wasn’t the same anymore. You two weren’t teenagers sneaking away during football games. His life was as real as yours, if not more. You held in the tears threatening to spill over.

“I’m sorry, Osc. That doesn’t seem like a good idea.”

The silence that came next was deafening. You stared straight ahead and let the tears stream down your face with no abandon. A gentle hand wiped them away.

“No crying. You gotta go see the world for the both of us, ‘kay.” He told you. There was no bitterness or sadness in his eyes. Just love. Love for you, for him, and for everything the two of you went through together.

You let your forehead rest on his.

“I promise.” You whispered to him. At that, Oscar stepped back and you saw him in full view.

He nodded one last time, and you pulled off into the night.

...

“Oh. My. God. Is that a hickey? That’s a hickey. You let Spooky give you that! You could be infected with all kinds of diseases that will haunt you for the rest of your life!”

Jamal’s freakout made you crack a smile. He had only seen Oscar as the Santo Spooky, Cesar’s scary ass older brother. But you had known him since you were twelve and had been with him since you were fifteen.

“We had history, it’s over now. Chill out.” You replied.

“Damn it, Y/N you know I can’t fight, why would you put me in this position!” He barked out. You smiled.

“Oh I know you can’t fight, you know being a D1 athlete and all.” You teased. You knew he’d eventually work up the nerve to tell your parents the truth, but it was fun messing with him in the meantime.

“Okay seriously, are you and Spooky gonna keep--ew, I can’t say it.” He rambled. You put your hands on his shoulders.

“Jamal, listen. I love Oscar and I always will. But we’ve outgrown each other. We grew up here, this our home, but you and I have stability and a way out that Oscar never had. Neighborhood will drag you back in and I can’t afford to do that. Grown decisions, ‘Mal.”

You plopped down on your bed, and stared at nothing. It really was over.

Jamal hugged you tightly, and you hugged him back. You hoped Cesar wouldn’t share his brother’s path. You had given up hope a long time ago that Oscar would. He couldn’t.

And it was cruel of you to hold onto him any longer, so you didn’t.

#black!reader #poc!reader #on my block #Oscar Diaz #spooky #spooky diaz #spooky diaz x reader #oscar diaz x reader #on my block fanfiction #julio macias #Oscar Diaz angst #sad ending sorry #spooky Diaz angst

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omg-im-such-a-masochist · 4 years ago

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SECOND CHANCE

Prompt: Just some good old fluff with Finny boy

Word Count: Long, bitch! So fucking long

Pairings: Finn Bálor x Reader

Warnings: Angst, fluff, smut (implied)

Editor: @thenightmareismyreality

Tag: @theworldofotps , @new-zealand-chic , @sassymox , @waywardwrestlewritingwaif , @yungbludjazz360 , @starwithaheart

Notes: Found this in an old file (wrote this about two years ago, maybe?) But I kinda like this little story ❤️ If you’d like to check out my previous works, you can find them on my Masterlist 😉

A deep sigh of relief left my lips as I brushed my damp hair. I heard a commotion in the living room, and began to dread the potential fight I would have to break up between a four and six year-old over a remote control.

“Mommy, mommy, mommy!” Caleb screamed in excitement, while bursting through my bedroom door like a maniac

“You’ll never believe who’s downstairs with us” He jumped with a cheeky smile

“Cal, who’s downstairs?” I ask worryingly, instinctively reaching for the gun that I kept in my nightstand

Caleb laughed and ran downstairs again.

As a homicide detective, my cop instincts combined with my motherly instincts took over me and I ran to the living room in only a tank top and panties, with my gun already aimed to shoot.

Although, the last person I thought I would see standing there, braiding my daughter Maeve’s hair in a style reminiscent of queen Elsa, and watching Caleb showing off his somersault technique was HIM…

That caught me off guard and he must have sensed it, because the first thing he did was look up.

“Hi” He said shyly

“What are you doing here, Finn?” I asked, putting my gun down on the dinner table

“I swear I didn’t break in” He laughed, attempting a joke

“What do you want?” I decided to ignore the small talk...there was no need for that, not after everything he did

“I have an injury. So I have some time off for a while and I wanted to stop by to see the kids and you” He whispered the last part

“Injury, huh? Is it bad?”

Even after everything he did, I couldn’t help but worry about his well being, you know, for the kids sake!...

Ok fine, I still love him, but he doesn’t need to know that.

“No, nothing serious. But I got two months off and I was excited to see my family” He looked at me when he said that

“Are you going to see your parents?”

“Yeah and I was thinking if it would be ok with you if I take the kids with me?”

“Of course! Why would I mind?”

His family was always very loving and kind to me, and we became very close once the kids were born. Sometimes I would take them to Ireland on my vacation so they could see their grandparents or they would travel to New York so they could see the kids.

“Because of...you know” He trailed off

“Neither your family or the kids have anything to do with that. I’m a grown woman, Finn. I know how to separate the sheep from the goat, ok?!”

I could feel the air becoming thicker with the tension, until Maeve said

“Mommy, why aren’t you wearing any pants? Are you feeling hot? I can get you the Japanese hand fan daddy gave it to me, if you’d like” She smiled

“Thank you buttercup, but that won’t be necessary. I’ll be right back”

......................................................................

Now, properly dressed, I made my way towards the kitchen to get dinner ready.

“Do you need any help?” Finn asked from behind me

“No, thank you. You can go stay with the kids” I didn’t even bother to turn around to face him

“Y/N, can we talk?”

I sighed “There’s nothing worth talking about, Finn”

“Please?”

“What can you possibly say that will change what happened? Nothing! It will be a bunch of empty sorry’s and excuses, so let’s just save it, ok?!”

“It’s not empty, I truly am sorry”

“You should’ve thought that before you believed the bunch of lies she told you”

He opened his mouth to say something but Caleb began calling for him to go watch the cartoons with them.

......................................................................

“Mommy, can daddy have dinner with us?” Maeve asked

“Of course, pumpkin. If he would like to”

“Yay” She screams “Daddy, come!” She beckoned him

The subjects of conversation at dinner were mostly controlled by the kids. They, as per usual, asked me how many bad people I had taken down that day, but also asked Finn about his traveling, which state or city he liked the most, the best foods he’d eaten, which LEGO set was he building, if the hotel beds were soft and ‘what about the blankets?’

“Alright, I know you two are very excited to see daddy, but we need to brush those teeth! So, let’s go kiddos” I got up from my chair

“I’ll do it” He grabbed both kids, resting one on each side of his hip and went up to brush their teeth

When he came back down alone, I give him a questioning look

“They’re asleep” He smiled softly

“Oh, you already put them down for bed?! Thank you” I said, cleaning the kitchen island.

He nodded “I just didn’t bathe them because they said you already did”

“Yeah, that’s the first thing I do when I get home. Or my mom does it for me if I get caught up in a case, but most of the time I do it”

“How’s work?” He asked, sitting down on one of the high benches.

“Good, Richard is my superior again, so he helps me a lot with my shifts, because of the kids” I smiled

“The old man is still working?” He laughed, amused

“Yeah, he already said he will only leave his badge when he’s dead” I cackled “How’s road life? Amazing, I presume”

“Nah, don’t let the bright lights fool ya” He laughed, bitterly “I love wrestling, being in the ring, performing for the audience, but once I pass through the curtains backstage it gets lonely” A little bit of sadness could be heard in his voice “It’s very lonely... it’s different from when I came back home to you and the kids. Now I just get back to an empty apartment, wishing I could get back home” He looks at me

“Finn, please”

“I love you! Why can’t we just try again?”

“Because no!”

“Why?” He pleaded

“Because you don’t know what it was like ok?! You don’t know how much it hurt me, the things you said, the fact that you believed some envious woman’s gossip about me having an affair with Lucas! He’s married for fuck’s sake! To a man!”

“I- I didn’t knew Lucas was gay, Y/N”

“Yeah, you didn’t! And why is that? Oh yeah, because you did not trust your own wife, all you saw was the fact that he is a man and my work partner so you just bought the assumption that woman sold you, choosing to believe her instead of me!”

“It wasn’t like that, ok?” He tried to explain

“It wasn’t like that, you say? When you were the one who came in here filled with accusations! Saying that I had an affair with him, that I cheated on you, that you wished you would’ve slept with half of the women who throw themselves at you everyday, doubting that those kids upstairs are yours, when they’re the fucking spitting image of you! You said all those horrible things, Finn. Not me!”

He stared at his knuckles as I continued, now crying

“How do you think that made me feel? To listen from my own husband how much he wished he had cheated on me. Bragging about all of the hot young women who are waiting to be fucked by a wrestler...You know it was always hard for me to accept that you wanted me and not some hot girl in the locker room, that you had chosen me, that I got lucky enough to not only marry a man who’s physically breathtaking but also such a beautiful person on the inside. And still, it was that same Prince Charming who became the frog! I never thought that” I had to stop myself from saying the next horrible words roaming through my mind

“You never thought that, what, Y/N?”

I shook my head

“Say it”

I shook my head again and he got up from the bench, coming to where I was standing

“Say it, love. I can take it”

“I don’t want to say it” I whispered as more tears rolled down my cheeks

“Shhh, it’s ok, love” Finn pulled my head to his chest “Please don’t cry, I hate when you cry” His arms are tightly locked around me, providing me the sense of comfort that only he could give. And I hated that!

“Let me go” I tried to push him away

“What’s wrong, Y/N?”

“Just don’t touch me” I said, shoving him away

He knew that I was closing him off, I could see it in his eyes

“Say it! You never thought that what?” He insisted, more forcefully this time

“I never thought that someday I would regret meeting you! Marrying you, starting a family with you. If I could do it all again, I wouldn’t!” I spat

“You wouldn’t?” He scooted closer

“No” I answered with venom in my voice, trying to turn my undying love for him into hatred

“But I would!” Finn said firmly

I shook my head in denial, as he cupped my cheeks in his calloused hands, making me look up to meet his blue eyes

“I would do it, all over again. Meeting you, dating you, marrying you, having kids with you, in the future seeing the kids graduate high school, college, be at their wedding, take our future grandkids to the park, and spend the rest of my life with you! I would choose you over and over and over again! I choose you everyday, Y/N”

I squeezed my eyes shut

“You’re lying! Stop lying, Finn” I whispered

“Am I though? Open your eyes and look at me. I was never able to hide ANYTHING from you, I can lie to anyone but you. You can always see through me, so just look at me and tell me if I’m lying. If I am, then I promise you, I’ll leave this house right now and you’ll never have to see me again! Just open your eyes” He kissed each closed eyelid

After a few minutes, I gathered the courage to finally look at him and I could only see love, regret, pain and truth.

“I love you Y/N and always will. Yes, I was dumb to listen to some random gossip and I’m paying the price for it, but the only thing I ask you is: please, don’t give up on us! I’ll give you whatever time you need, just promise me that we’ll fix it. That we’ll be together again...You, Caleb and Maeve are my life! I would die to save you in a blink, love. If I had to choose between your life or mine I would choose yours, becau-“

I placed two fingers on his lips

“Stop talking like that! You know I don’t like it. It attracts those bad vibes, you know?”

Finn lightly chuckled “But I mean it”

“Stop! I don’t like when you talk like that... I hate to think that something bad could ever happen to you. You know, because of the kids” I tried to hide my feelings

“And you wouldn’t miss me, not even a little bit?” He teased

“I miss you everyday” I quickly slapped a hand over my mouth when I realized what I just said

He smiled sweetly, leaning down to place sweet and innocent pecks all over my face.

Finn started on my forehead, then he went to my temples, followed by the cheekbones, apple’s of the cheek, jaw, chin, side of my lips. Finn pulled back to search for any resistance signs and when he found none, he kissed my lips. A lazy kiss, that grew more urgent by the minute.

“Fuck, I missed you so much” He moaned, now kissing my neck

“Finn, wait. Wait a minute” I tried to pull his head back by his hair but that only made him moan.

“Finn!” I said harshly, finally having his attention

“What’s wrong, love? Don’t you want it? I thought that-“

“Have you seen anyone since we broke up?” I asked, not even letting him finish his sentence

“We didn’t break up! You asked me for some time and-“

“Finn, just answer the fucking question please” I pleaded

“No, I haven’t been with anyone in those 8 months. Except for my hand when I look at your pictures” He smirked

“You’re so ridiculous” I whispered in relief as my arms circled his waist

“So...do you still want to make love?” He eagerly asked

“We never made love, Finny. We’ve always fucked senseless” I laughed

“No! We’ve always made love it’s just that we’re more frantic about it” He chuckled

“Ok, we sleep together and then what?” I asked

“Then you stay here and I go back to my apartment” He simply said

My heart sunk in my chest as a faint “Oh, ok” left my lips

“So I can pack my clothes and bring them back home” He said, as a devilish smile grew on his face “That’s of course, if you want me here”

“Asshole” I lightly punched his chest “I thought you just wanted a one night stand and that’s it. You scared me!”

Finn chuckled, beckoning me closer to him

“You could never be just a one night stand, love. You fuck too good to be just a one time thing” He winked

“So you just want me for my bedroom skills, huh?” I teased

“Yes and no” He giggled “Yes, because no other woman fucks like you do” He bit my neck, growling “And no, because there’s so much more about you than the bedroom” He hugged my waist “You’re my best friend, my nurturer, my supporter, the air that keeps me alive, my everything!” He kissed me passionately

“Can we try again? Start over and leave all that shit behind us?” He whispered

“If you promise me that if we get back together, you won’t listen to other people’s gossip and will come to me whenever you hear somethi-“

“Yes!” He pecked my lips excitedly, as a wide smile took over his face “I promise you, love! That’ll never happen again, you have my word!” He gave me a bear hug and spun me around the kitchen

“Finn!” I squealed, when we almost fell to the ground “We’re going to wake up the kids” I giggled

“Oh no, shhhh” He shut me up with a kiss “We can’t let that happen! Because as much as I love our children, I haven’t gotten any in eight months and I can’t wait to change that with you right now” He pushed us towards the couch and laid on top of me

“But I thought you were going to go and get your clothes”

“I don’t need clothes, woman! You know I like to sleep naked” He winked

And roamed his head down to...

Please, if you’re comfortable with it, let me know your thoughts on this? Feedbacks are always appreciated 🥰😘

#finn balor one shot #finn balor x reader #finn balor fanfiction #finn balor imagine #finn balor #nxt x reader #nxt imagine #nxt #nxt wrestling #wwe nxt #nxt fanfiction #masochist writes

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flying-elliska · 5 years ago

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Just watched The Old Guard yesterday....I have Emotions. Compelling characters, excellent rep, great action scenes. I see why tumblr is obsessed with it.

SPOILERS + lil essay incoming

It's not perfect obviously. It drags in places and I think it needed more flashbacks for the immortals that would have given that extra oomph (maybe they definitely couldn't afford that - the few historical flashbacks we got looked kinda cheap tbh). You feel like there is so much interesting stuff under the surface that isn't explored fully - how they got where they are because it does, at times, seem even more compelling than the present (which is already quite interesting, don’t get me wrong). The bad guy doesn't feel as scary as he should be, either - he lacks presence, he could have been more pathetic or more unhinged. The dialogue was a bit overly sparse in places. But overall, I loved it. Charlize Theron as queerish action queen badass with a gruff exterior but a core of goodness is like...my jam. And it NEEDS a sequel.

Some more thoughts :

- The tone of deep melancholy and sadness that pervades the film is so interesting. Yes, most of the main characters are the gruff action hero type who say little ; but there is so much underlying emotion there too, love and loyalty and loss, in the way they are played and interact with each other. So it doesn’t come over as the stereotypical macho cliché of ‘gotta repress those feelings and BE TOUGH’ - you really feel as if 1) those characters have spent so much time together that they function really well as a unit, they don’t need to talk a lot of the time, they just understand each other and 2) there is so much real grief and sorrow there that words wouldn’t properly adress it and it’s no use trying. AND at the same time, they still get an arc of ‘caring about the world is still good, actually.’ As an action movie fan who hates the ‘cardboard stoic is the only way to survive’ tropes of the genre, this movie just made me very happy. They have this intimacy within the group that feels so real and like...battle forged found families, again, my jam, but they’re also tied together by loss and loneliness and having no one else who understands. It’s so JUICY in terms of character dynamics. Nile’s more innocent but still a fighter thing fits very well with the older, more cynical ones. The ending, where they punish Booker with a century of loneliness for betraying them but ultimately still recognize why he did what he did and that he’s still part of the team...but that he might not ever see Andy again...my heart.

- Also, it reminds me of this essay I read about how violence/battle/injury in film is often used an excuse to show male intimacy in a way that is not allowed anywhere else but in this movie, you both have platonic intimacy (and also between Andy and her team, which is cool! love a good m/f platonic soul bond!!!) AND you have a couple of dudes who both fight together and are actually lovers, which is awesome. The scene in the van is just so bloody brilliant because you have that idiot soldier who is at the level of homophobic taunts, ‘haha is he your boyfriend’ as if that was supposed to threaten their masculinity (because in their world it would). But Joe and Nicky are just way beyond those puerile games - they also met in this context of violence but because of their immortality, they were able to turn it into love. And it’s the thing that allowed them to survive the centuries with a relative level of happiness compared to the two others because they have each other. I love this because it 1) grounds gay love in history and clearly shows it as something that has always existed and can be an epic love able to withstand almost a thousand years (whereas gayness has been so often coded as something both modern and ephemeral) and 2) presents it as wiser, deeper and a lot more badass than the path of repression and violence as a baseline for men to interact even as a lot of male socialization is build up as brutal to avoid it so like YEAH !!!!! GOOD!!!!

- This is another movie that really REALLY shows the importance of having ppl who are not white and/or dudes behind the camera. (It was still written by one but I still feel a difference).The two leading ladies are never objectified, and their main emotional dynamic during the movie is with each other. The audience surrogate, who is also the emotional pivot of the movie who causes the other characters to change, is a young Black woman (especially since apparently Nile’s role and her relationship with Andy was expanded from the comics). Andy is the leader/main badass and mystery of the story in a way generally reserved for men. There is that scene, too, where Andy gets her wound patched up by a random woman in a pharmacy, which causes her to reflect on the good of humanity and the importance of good actions in a chaotic world. Chiwetel Eijofor’s villain being allowed complexity and a sort-of redemption. But it’s also more specific things in the way the movie is shot - especially in the non-Western countries. In action movie tropes, you have this cliché of ‘picturesque but dangerous’ ‘exotic’ locales, who are often used as the backdrop for action scenes, which is...not awesome tbh. This movie does take us to those countries, and there is action, but it’s also shot in a very humanizing way that reminds us that this is a real place where real people live : Nicky saying hello to the locals in South Sudan in their own language, Nile asking the Afghan women for help in the beginning, shots of kids playing with balloons, etc. The team accepts a mission in the beginning to rescue kidnapped Sudanese girls in the beginning - in most action movies often the populations to save are white/Western whereas locals/POC are shown as ‘tragic but acceptable collateral damage’. Or for instance, that scene in Marrakech’s Jemaa El-Fna square - a lot of the time foreign markets only appear as a ‘chaotic, dangerous’ backdrop for action to be ransacked through without a care ; here it’s just a cool lively place for the team to meet their contact, normalized instead of exotified. It’s shot the same way as the scenes in France, it’s interesting to look at and the shots take advantage of the beauty of the location but there are no weird color filters or shots that suggest that the place is bizarre, threatening, Otherized, etc. (Also interesting that most of the scenes in France take place in abandoned buildings like a church that’s half in ruins, a mine, etc...interesting reversal lmao.) The movie is not anti-imperialist by any means but it’s still...a tangibly different gaze, especially for an American movie, and it makes it a lot more humane and interesting.

- Overall, it left me wanting more, mostly in a good way. This could have made such an excellent series too. They seem to be setting Quynh as a villain for the next movie and that could be really interesting but I really hope they’re going for a ‘tragic villain gets redeemed in the end’ (with a side of lovers to ennemies to lovers with Andy...their story seems to have so much potential in such an epic tragic way) instead of ‘psycho lady too far gone to save’ thing. And that we get more flashbacks from the immortal’s pasts. Since it seems very successful, I hope we do get that sequel once the film industry starts again.

#the old guard #movie review #the old guard netflix #charlize theron #representation matters #ellie watches movies

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sunsetinmyvein · 5 years ago

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I Know That I’ll Lose - Chapter Fourteen - Yeah, It’s You

It had been a few months since they’d agreed to give things between them a proper shot. It was almost debatable that the band were more excited about this development than Matty was. George especially, now that he was finally able to stop sitting through longing stares, angsty conversations and awkward flirting. Now at least it was just the awkward flirting. But so far, it was going very well for the two of them. Y/N/N started the new merch gig after having a couple of weeks at home to get her things together. She met back up with the band in London before being briefed on her new role and then setting out on her first working tour. As expected, it was a steep learning curve that was very fast paced. It was hard for them to train her in advance since almost everything had to be taught while on the job. Given how busy Matty frequently was, Jamie helped her out where he could with keeping the books in order and getting in contact with venues about staffing before they arrived. But she performed well under pressure, and this was no exception. She took to the role like a duck to water. Her friendships with the band only got stronger now that she was playing an active role in their operations. They already enjoyed having her around, and now she was proving herself to be an invaluable member of their tight knit team. Matty frequently found himself feeling rather proud of how quickly she’d adapted to the new lifestyle. Living on the road wasn’t easy, but it was a lot easier when they got to do it together.

Notes on a Conditional Form dropped all of two hours ago and so far, the reaction had been mostly positive. A few people seemed to find the contrasting sounds throughout the album hard to deal with, and a few didn’t enjoy the amount of ambience, but Matty told himself that if they weren’t on board with that, then they probably shouldn’t be 1975 fans anyway. After immense amounts of hard work and many a few date pushbacks, it was finally out there in the public. They had decided to throw a small release party at George’s flat, inviting close friends, family, the usual 1975 crew and a few select people from the industry to celebrate. Once it was confirmed that the tracks had gone online without a hitch – and they’d listened to the album front to back – the party truly kicked off. Now that they knew the fans enjoyed it, the weight was lifted off the band’s shoulders. They could finally unwind a bit. Matty was already a few drinks in, his usual party attitude coming out in full swing tonight to rejoice at seeing his project come to fruition. He’d convinced the band to take shots whenever they heard their favourite track on the album. It turned out he had many favourites. Y/N/N was finding it nice to finally see him take a break. He’d been overworking himself for the last couple of months between being on tour and the album release coming up, but now, back at home, surrounded by his friends and family, he seemed relaxed at last. She was knocked out of her trance of staring at Matty mingling around the party by Ross calling her name, noticing her empty cup and suggesting that she go to the bar to get both herself and him a refill. Taking his cup with a nod, she headed towards the pop-up bar in the kitchen.

“Can I get you a drink?” The bartender asked with a smile, leaning against the bar as she approached.

She took a seat, “Yeah, I wouldn’t mind a vodka and-” She started rattling off the order she had prepared in her head.

He let out a short laugh, interrupting her train of thought. “No, I mean like… somewhere else.” He paused as he waited for her to pick up the hint that he was dropping. “The two of us.” He continued.

Oh. Oh. The sudden offer caught her off guard, but she quickly regained composure, “Ah, thanks but no thanks.” She said with a polite smile.

“I’m sure I could show you a good time.” He pressed.

“I’m not.” She shot back. He frowned at that. “And I think that Matty might have a few things to say about that.”

“Who?” He scoffed, still trying to play it cool. She gestured to the promotional poster hanging on the wall behind the bar.

“Uh, second from the left, the one with the curly hair.” She watched as the bartender’s face visibly paled while he studied the poster. A few nonsensical syllables tumbled out of his mouth before he excused himself from the bar and walking back inside looking very flustered. She chuckled under her breath.

She saw out of the corner of her eye as her boyfriend leaned against the counter next to where she was sitting at the bar. He took a drag on his cigarette before turning to her.

“What was that about?” Matty asked casually.

“I think you’ll have to watch yourself, Matty. I’ve got an admirer.” She warned him, gesturing in the direction that the guy had rushed off to.

“Oh, really?” He mused as he took a sip from his drink, his gaze following hers. “What makes you so sure?” He added as he looked back to her.

“He tried to seduce me.” She confirmed with a nod.

“The nerve.” He gasped. “Did he succeed?” He asked, the humour evident in his eyes.

“Oh, for sure.” She deadpanned. “It’s all set up and ready to go. We’re meeting at midnight.” She answered.

“Well… Can’t fault his taste.” Matty shrugged before leaning down to kiss her briefly. “C’mon, grab a drink and let’s go find the guys.” He grinned.

“Where’s my drink?” Ross frowned as the two of them walked back over to the little spot in George’s backyard that the band had claimed as theirs. She handed him one of the two bottles of beer she had grabbed instead.

“The bar wasn’t open.” She lied, hearing Matty laugh quietly beside her. The five of them continued bullshitting for a while, yapping on about the reviews coming in online and the people who passed them by throughout the party. After a little while Matty found his glass to be oddly empty.

“You should go get me another drink.” The lead singer stated seriously, holding his empty glass out to his girlfriend. There was a bit of a drunken slur to his words but she knew from experience that he was still quite a few drinks away from being wasted.

“You’re not the boss of me.” She frowned. He leaned against her, humming in contemplation.

“Last time I checked, I thought I kind of was?” He pointed out with a loud laugh.

She opened and closed her mouth a few times, trying to think of a comeback to that, only to come up empty. He was right, he pretty much was her boss. “Shut up.” Was the best she could muster in the end, earning a smug grin from him. “Also, if I go back over to the bar that handsome gentleman might just steal me away from you.” She reminded him. He nodded in agreement at that.

“That’s true.” He resigned with a sigh. “Then I’m gonna go get another drink.” Y/N/N watched as he stood up from the couch and started making his way to the bar. Only to look on helplessly as a beer bottle flew across the living area and collided with the side of Matty’s head instead of the bin it was intended for.

George and Y/N/N had both seen the incident that seemed to go unnoticed by the rest of the party and jumped up instantly to help him. The bottle shattered as it hit the floor next to him, which caught the attention of a few other people. Matty spewed a loud string of curses as his hand instantly flew to the area of impact, cradling it as he kept walking to the bar.

“Bloody hell. Are you okay?” George asked urgently as he rushed over.

“Matty, sit down.” She urged, pulling on his arm to get him to sit back down on the couch.

“It’s fine, guys.” He said as he shrugged them both off. “I’ll just get my drink and be back in a minute.”

“You just copped a bottle to the head, mate.” The drummer said, feeling the need to restate it as if the matter hadn’t figuratively (and literally) sunk through his skull yet. “You shouldn’t be drinking more right now.”

“Really, it’s not a big deal.” He huffed as he continued on his way to the kitchen.

“Matt-” George tried to reason with him, but he only kept walking. He figured he could leave him in Y/N/N’s trusty hands as she followed after him.

“Will you stop for a second?” She asked, the concern evident in her tone.

He spun around to face her, “I’m fine.” He spat back angrily as he scratched at the side of his head. As he lowered his hand, the two of them both saw the blood on his fingers. He wiped it away quickly on his jeans. “It’s not as bad as it looks-” He argued as he tried to move away again.

“Can you please just listen to me?” She begged as she caught his arm, trying her best to stop him.

“It’s really nothi-”

She grabbed the tie around his neck, yanking it down so that he was eye level with her. His eyebrows shot up in surprise at her force. This was potentially quite serious and she was done being polite about it. “Matty.” She said through gritted teeth. “Bathroom. Now.”

“Yes. Sorry.” He mumbled, still wide-eyed and concerned as he let her lead him towards the nearest bathroom.

She pulled him down the corridor through to the guest bathroom. As she pushed him inside, she locked the door behind them to give her enough time to properly examine how bad his wound was. “You, here.” She ordered as she jumped up to sit on the vanity to be taller than him, instructing him to stand in front of her under the light. Carefully, she moved his hair aside to try and find where the impact was. As she parted his hair around the injury he hissed loudly in pain.

“Be careful.” He grumbled.

“Didn’t you literally just say ‘it’s not that bad’?” She mocked, seeing how deep the cut was. It didn’t appear to be too serious, but it was hard to tell with how thick his hair was. The wound was still bleeding enough for it to be concerning. “You might need stitches.” She added.

“Don’t want stitches.” He debated.

“It’s not about if you want them-”

“Don’t you always talk about how much you love my hair? They’d have to shave it to give me stitches.” He retaliated. She didn’t reply, making him laugh lightly. He winced as the vibration of it hurt his head a bit. After some slight shuffling around on the counter, she pulled her phone out of her pocket.

“Look here.” She said as she gestured to the torch on her phone. He did as she told him, looking into the bright light. She was no doctor, but she had enough common sense and past experience to know that they shine a light in your eyes to check that your pupils dilate correctly, and if they don’t, you’ve likely got a concussion. His seemed to be responding fine. That was good, at least.

He looked up at her through his mess of hair pulled into his eyes as she worked away at cleaning his injury. It tugged on his heart strings a bit. This girl truly cared about him, and had done since they’d met. She worried about his personal space the day after they’d met at the café, she worried about him after that shitty interview he’d had, she worried about him when he got sick on tour, when he wasn’t in a good mood, when he was overworked, when he got a bottle thrown at his head. He’d done very little until recently to earn her attention and concern, and yet she’d given it to him anyway. Even when he was a complete dickhead she still pulled through for him. Fucking hell. What had he done to end up with someone like that in his life? His heart swelled as he remembered the last time that she’d been in London with him, when she had agreed to take the job and - for whatever reason that he still wasn’t quite sure of - to date him.

“Hey,” He called, trying to grab her attention. She mumbled a noise of response. “I love you.” He said bluntly. He stayed quiet, patiently holding out for a reply, but she just kept examining his scalp. “Aren’t you gonna say it back?” He asked eventually.

She let out a deep sigh, pushing his hair back out of his eyes. “For fuck’s sake. Of course, I love you, Matty.” She huffed as she moved back to meet his gaze. Despite the instantly overwhelming feeling of joy, he waited for her to continue. “What I don’t love is you being stubborn about things like having a head wound.” She said with a pointed look. “But I’ve been steadily falling harder for you since you conned me into seeing you again after that first show.” She chuckled, leaning her forehead against his.

“I wouldn’t say I conned you.” He argued with a grin. “More… allowed you the opportunity you were clearly dying for.” He rephrased. She shook her head but couldn’t help the goofy smile and blush that found its way onto her features.

“Sure, if that’s how you wanna remember it.” She shrugged, moving her hands to his shoulders. She was satisfied for now that he was probably going to be fine.

“Well, I knew I was falling for you when you got up and jumped around on stage with me that first day.” He said with a cocky tone to his voice.

She gave a loud laugh at that. “No, you damn well didn’t.”

“How do you know?” He scoffed.

“I do talk to the rest of the band. You know that, right?” She asked. He nodded, laughing slightly. “And it’s not a competition, anyway.”

“Everything’s a competition, love. You know that.” He said lowly, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her closer to the edge of the counter.

He brought a hand up to her cheek as he pulled her lips down to meet his. It seemed that no matter how many times she kissed Matty, it still hit her just as hard as the first time she had. Or perhaps even harder given that her brain was slightly foggy the first time. Every time their lips met it pushed her nervous system into overdrive. She brought a hand up to his hair, forgetting that he had a gash on the side of his head and accidentally pulling the hair near it. He hissed in pain for a second, getting a muffled ‘sorry’ in response as she moved her hand. But he used her distraction as an excuse to deepen the kiss and edge her closer along the counter to him. The thing was that Matty was right, everything was always a competition with him. And she had learned that this particular competition involved who was going to back out first. Theoretically, the competition didn’t really have a loser per se, but she knew all too well where this was going. People would probably come looking for them soon to check in on how he was doing.

She pulled away from him slightly, feeling like the temperature in this room had increased a few degrees in the last couple of minutes. “Are you just trying to get in my pants?” She accused him with a frown.

“Depends, is it working?” He challenged, moving in to kiss her again.

“I’m not fucking you in a stranger’s bathroom.” She said as she moved away.

“It’s George’s bathroom.” He shot back.

“That’s not what you’re meant to take away from that.” She laughed.

“But it is what I’m taking away from that.” He argued, raising his eyebrows with a suggestive grin. She rolled her eyes.

“Later.” She smiled, hopping down from the counter and stepping around him.

“Is that a promise?” He asked mischievously as he followed her out of the bathroom.

As the party started winding down, things began getting quieter in the house. The guests made their way home, bottles were tidied up, the music was switched off. Eventually the five usual crew found themselves sitting in George’s lounge room watching a movie to close out the evening. It was nice to round out such a momentous occasion with something so simple. The drinks had stopped now, the chatting between them had become pretty infrequent, the friends happy to sit in the comfort of the TV. It wasn’t until Matty’s eyes started slipping shut that the conversation picked up again. “You’re not allowed to fall asleep.” Y/N/N said as she nudged his shoulder.

“But it’s three in the morning.” Matty groaned.

“You might have a concussion; you need to stay awake for at least a bit longer.” Adam reminded him.

“My head hurts.” He complained loudly, rolling over to press his face into the couch.

“Because you have a concussion” Ross chimed in.

“No, it’s because the music in this movie is awful.” He huffed, jabbing an accusatory finger towards the screen. “Who scored this shit?”

“I’m fairly certain it’s because you copped a bottle to the head, Matt.” George said with a laugh.

“I could score something way better than this.” Matty continued, opting to ignore everyone’s concern and continue on his own tangent. That piqued everyone’s interest.

“Oh?”

“Yeah!” He shouted as he sat up, suddenly motivated. “I could write for an Oscar winning movie by… 40.” He declared, before quickly changing his mind. “No! 35.” He amended.

“There is no way you can do that.” Ross said with a sigh, shaking his head. “You’re already 31.”

“Not in between all your other shit you take on.” George added.

“I absolutely can.” He argued defiantly.

“Matty, that’s a bit ridiculous.”

“I could score a movie, and it’ll win awards for its soundtrack.” He said with a scoff, sweeping his arms in a grand motion to emphasise his point.

“Bet you can’t.” She said simply with a shrug. Those words shot through him like a bolt of electricity. The challenge felt like his brain had just kicked up a gear. But when he looked across the couch at her, the look in her eyes told him she knew exactly what she was doing.

“Just fucking watch me.”

Last Chapter

A/N - Annnnnd that’s it! I hope you guys enjoyed reading it half as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you so, so much for the support each week - it has made my day each and every time. It’s a shame that this story had to end… but… when one door closes, another opens, right? So as much as my Matty fic has reached it’s end, my good friend Red__Moon’s is just beginning! I’ve had the absolute pleasure of a sneak preview of a few of these chapters and phwoa… if you thought mine was any good? You are gonna be in for a wild ride, my friend. It’s another slowburn, so you’ve got another good few weeks of Matty-based-reading ahead! Thanks again for your endless kind words.

#Matthew Healy x Reader #Matty Healy x Reader #Sunsetinmyvein

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rosecorcoranwrites · 5 years ago

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Villain Motivation and the Banality of Evil

Motivation in Fact and Fiction

As you know by now, I am a huge true crime fan. I've read books by FBI profilers and crime historians, am addicted to the Investigation Discovery channel, and have even attended a semester of my local police departments "citizens police academy". This is a professional as well as a personal interest, given that I am currently outlining a mystery WIP set in an alternate version of our world. Thus, I want to understand crime investigation, different types of evidence, and, of course, motive. It's this last one—the motivation behind a villain's acts—that many authors, not just those who write mystery—concern themselves with. And, after examining hundreds of real-life crimes, I'm here to tell you that it's not that important.

Ok, it's a little important, in that a villain needs a motive, but it's not important that it be extremely groundbreaking, or extremely relatable, or extremely anything. Motives tend to be common place, not extreme, no matter how shocking the other aspects of a crime.

For example, the excellent book The Father of Forensics: The Groundbreaking Cases of Sir Bernard Spilsbury and the Beginnings of Modern CSI, which I raved about previously, contains a number of sensational cases where the bodies were either hideously mutilated or, conversely, found without any scratch on them. To add intrigue to injury, the murders happened in the early days of forensics, when procedures for dealing with evidence were still being worked out and when more modern investigative tools like AFIS, DNA testing, and psychological profiling were still decades away. Every case was fascinating in its details and in its eventual solution. Almost every case had, as a motive, either money or getting out of an unwanted relationship. That was it. The oddities of the bodies were the killers' attempts at not being caught, but the reasons for there being bodies in the first place were as average as could be.

In fact, the three main motives, according to Lt. Joe Kenda, of ID channel fame, are money, revenge, and sex. The more headline-catching serial-killer crimes happen, it seems, due to a desire for power or a thrill. I would say these five motives sum up most murders, maybe even most crimes. Once you cut away the mystery and the gore, all you're left with are some pretty average human desires: money/stuff, vengeance/justice, sex, power/control, and thrill/excitement. When people talk about the banality of evil, this is what they mean.

Take the motive of "money". We're all familiar with the idea, in real and fictional crime, of robbing banks or killing someone for their life insurance. Writers seem to find this an acceptable plot point: villain wants a lot of money and thus does very bad things. Yet, if you watch enough crime TV, you will know that real murders happen for sums as low as $400 or even $40. There was an episode of Homicide Hunter: Lt. Joe Kenda where a man was shot and almost killed over an argument about 25 cents!

It also needn't be money, but material possessions. In one of the citizen's police academy classes, we learned about a local case where three teenagers broke into a man's house and stole, among other things, his corncob pipe. This pipe was the item he was most upset about, and often discussed in subsequent weeks. So the man lured one of the teenagers out to the woods and shot him execution-style. He was planning to do the same to the other two, and blame the whole crime on his teenaged lover. So that was one life ruined—and it would have been three others, had he not been caught—with the motive of revenge for a lost corncob pipe!

The Gap Between Good and Evil

I thus wonder why it is that we, as writers, tend to overlook such commonplace motivations. There's an unspoken assumption that the motivation of a villain must scale with their actions, so while sub-bosses or henchmen might get away with being in it for the money or the thrill, the Big Bad needs a more exciting or deep motivation. There's also a more recent idea being bandied about in internet circles that the villain should think he's the hero. I think both of these concepts are flawed, but let's take them one at a time.

Although I personally love "True Believer" villains that really do believe they are doing what is right, I don't think it's fair to say that all villains must be this way. After all, a great many real-life villains don't think they're doing something good; they just don't care. They want what they want and do what they can to get it without worrying about morality. I think the reason that this second sort of villain--the thrill-killer, the evil sorcerer, the bully--get a bad rap is that people (both readers and writers), don't understand evil. Yes, a villain who only desires evil is unrealistic, because, in fact, it's impossible to desire evil. But maybe I'm getting ahead of myself.

In the Catholic tradition, we hold that evil doesn't exist; it has no metaphysical reality. Evil is a privation, or absence, of good, similar to how a shadow doesn't exist, but is a privation, or absence, of light. Thus, a person cannot desire evil in and of itself, because they would be desiring nothing. Every evil act is done because someone is desiring something good, but disproportionately, or in a way that removes part of the good from that thing. Again, look at the five motives for murder. Each of those is a good, in and of themselves, but none justifies violating another person.

And thus we come to the other assumption about villains, that their actions must scale with their motives. I think, in fact, the opposite tends to make a more interesting villain. The motive can be something small--wanting revenge for some slight, or a peaceful life, or to be like everyone else. These might even be the same goods that the hero desires. What makes the villain villainous, and what can make them even more interesting, is what they are willing to do to fulfill these desires. Who or what are they willing to throw away? What rules are they willing to break? That distance, between what they want and how they get it is what separates them from the hero.

Types of Villains

This principle, that a villain must desire a good, but desire it disproportionately, can work for any type of villain.

Take the True Believer types: those that believe they are doing what's right. In this category, I would put people like Thanos (Avengers: Infinity War), as well as A.I.s like Agent Smith (The Matrix), VIKI (iRobot), and the Terminators (Terminator... obviously). Thanos is widely lauded as one of Marvel's best villains because he really does think he's doing the right thing. He is willing to throw away half of all sapient beings, plus the one person who he actually cares about, in order to save the other half. What he wants--peace and prosperity--is understandable, but while the gap between that and his genocidal actions is mathematically non-existent, it is morally huge. Similarly, the three A.I.s I mentioned are trying to save either robot-kind or human-kind, but are willing to murder thousands or even billions of humans in order to do it. Essentially, these villains are doing the classic Utilitarian trolley problem, but on a massive scale. They think they are the heroes, and truly do desire a good outcome, but the actions taken to bring that about are inexcusably evil.

Similar to the True Believers are a type of villain I will call the Desperate. These people are also trying to bring about good, but know that what they are doing is wrong. Mr. Freeze (Batman) is a classic example, as he commits crimes to get money and technology to save his wife. Actually, there are a whole slew of villains, mostly in anime and JRPGs, whose entire motivation is to save or resurrect a dead wife or girlfriend. They're trying to save someone they love, but they rarely brand themselves as saviors or heroes; Desperate types hold no such illusions. Sebastian, in my own series, is such a villain, in that he is willing to betray his friends and ally himself to bad people in order to save Chiaroscuro and make up for his past sins. He's willing to do evil that good may come of it, and actually uses the "I'm a bad person anyway" excuse as a justification for his actions.

On the flip side are those who don't care about whether or not they're doing good, which I will divide into three types: Dark Lords, Thrill Killers, and Egoists.

Dark Lords, obviously, include literal Dark Lords, such as Sauron and Voldemort, but I'm also going to throw in your average serial killer into this category. Why? Because they all want the same thing: power. The books I've read by FBI profilers chronicle the most gruesome crimes with motives ranging from rage to lust, but there is an ever present need of the killers to control, whether that's controlling their victims, the situation, or the police and firefighters (in the case of arsonists). Control is related to power, and power, in and of itself, is a good. This, in fact, is why it's wrong for these villains to take away the power or freedom of their victims. While a True Believer like Thanos sought balance, Dark Lords seek an imbalance, and want everything for themselves in an attempt to prove to themselves that they are more powerful, and thus better, than everyone else. These types of villains are, sadly, very realistic, but don't lend themselves to stories requiring a strong interpersonal conflict between hero and villain. They tend to act as a force of nature the hero must work against--whether in a fantasy against a Dark Lord or in a thriller against a serial murderer--and thus don't do much in the way of interpersonal conflict.

Better, in my opinion, are the Thrill Killer types, who see the world as a game, and are willing to do whatever it takes to have fun. Example of this are The Joker (Batman) and Mr. Sato (Ajin). Though The Joker is a bank-robbing thug, he's mostly in it for the laughs, and cares very deeply about whether or not things are funny. That doesn't make him any less abusive or violent, but the gap between his humor and his barbarity is what make him an interesting character. Mr. Sato, similarly, sees the world like one huge videogame, in which he has been given extra lives. Fun and games are a normal and natural good, but his villainy stems from what he is willing to do in this "game". Mr. Sato has absolutely no concern for human life, even his own, and kills hundreds of people (including himself, on multiple occasions!). The interest in this type of villain comes from watching their crazy schemes and then trying to figure out how the hero can possibly beat them. These villains are similar to Dark Lords in that they are something like a force of nature, but different in that the hero usually has to face off against them personally, outwit them, and deal with them as an individual person.

Finally, there are those who want something personally good, but have no regard for others. Technically, this could also describe Dark Lords and Thrill Killers, but here I mean really personal, as in specific to that person. Rather than something big like power or a crazy thrill, they tend to desire the utterly ordinary. Take the robot in Ex Machina. I'm not sure everyone would classify her as a villain, though she certainly did some evil things (it's up to interpretation whether she understands good and evil, though). What was her motivation? She wanted to go watch a crowd. She was, essentially, created to gather information, so that's what she went to go do. It makes sense that that's what she wants, but it doesn't justify what she did to the main character (even if he was kind of a doofus). Or Rezo the Red Priest (Slayers), who, in my opinion, has one of the best motivations of any villain ever. He was born blind and wanted to see. That's a totally understandable motivation. But he's willing to sacrifice the entire world to a demon lord in order to get that wish. Now that is a heckofa gap between a good desire and an evil action! And yet, is it really all that different from the sort of selfishness present in a man who would murder three teenagers over a corncob pipe? Real evil motivations are banal, and real evil actions are completely disproportionate to those motivations. Art, in the case of these last villains, is simply imitating life.

Asking What the Villains Want

Obviously, there are a million different ways of combining these villain type and motivations. Some villains want money so they can save a dying loved one. Some villains desire revenge because they truly believe they have been wronged. A Thrill Killer might find excitement in killing criminals. There is no one right way to write a villain, and there is no one motivation that is the only interesting kind. To anyone trying to write a villain, I suggest reading about or watching shows on real life criminals, from the Big Bads like Hitler, Stalin, and Mao to famous killers like Jack the Ripper and Ted Bundy to run of the mill criminals in your local newspaper. People don't become mass murderers or even petty thieves for no reason, but they also don't just do evil because it's the evil thing to do. Even the most gruesome atrocities were rooted in the desire for misplaced revenge, or disproportionate control, or a false belief in some so-called greater good. Then, I suggest reading and watching your favorite stories and asking what makes these villains tick. Is it the same as in real life? Is it different? What makes a great villain so great? You'll may just find that it's simply a matter of proportion.

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ermuellert · 4 years ago

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what are your honest opinions on julian draxler's career?

personally i thought he was genuinely going to be a big star because he was this young wonderkid at schalke who won the world cup as a 20 year old (he didn't do much though to be fair) but it never really turned out that way ... he's not done terribly per se, he is playing for psg, living that sweet life en france, and somehow still getting callups to the german national team but i am just kind of sad that he never reached the full potential that he had ... i thought he would be the captain of the "new" germany generation, one of the leaders, but now he barely gets to play ... i am kind of extra worked up about his case because he seems like a nice and sweet person as well ... anyways maybe i just have a bad track record of predicting career trajectories, all the youngsters i thought would succeed haven't (yet), at one point i believed that julian weigl and max meyer would also be world beaters and here we are ... i don't know what it is, probably a mix of injuries, bad luck, and maybe just not working hard enough ... long long sigh

anyways if you read all that you're an absolute superstar because i really went and wrote an essay oops ... i look forward to your live blogging tomorrow as it is always entertaining ... lots of love xxx

i hope u know that deep down.... like. Deep Down... i am always always always craving to talk about julian...... like trust me... i promise essays on monsieur draxler are always welcome here because i used to write that much about him and sometimes still think that much about him too...

objectively speaking, i think he is doing alright! pretty good by a lot of standards probably, for most of the reasons u listed. he’s getting paid obscene amounts (probably more than he deserves at this moment in time), has a seemingly great personal life, and as u said, still getting his national team callups.

my personal thoughts, on the other hand, are... well....... not really of the same sentiment. i already know i’m gonna write up an even longer essay so let me just tuck the rest of this ramble under a cut for the sake of my followers lmao

honestly for me... thinking about julian is kind of depressing. if you feel worked up about him, just know that i relate. he seems very happy where he is in his life at the moment and so of course i’m happy for him too but compared to the potential it seemed he had... it’s just a bit sad. mostly because it isn’t as though he’s an excellent player hindered by injuries (e.g. reus) or anything really beyond his control - i think a lot of what’s so disappointing about his career trajectory is really just to do with him and him only.

yes, his failed transfer to juve back when he was at schalke wasn’t his fault but to move to wolfsburg? i know hindsight is 20/20 but i almost wish he’d just stayed at schalke. the drama he got into while he was at wolfsburg really did not do any good for his image, putting aside the fact that he was putting in average (even inconsistent) performances for the team. at schalke, maybe he could’ve had more time to develop within a team he grew up in and just use his time there to work and work hard. (there’s something i want to say about mentality here but i’ll bring that up later)

then, when his transfer to psg was announced, i felt like that was some beacon of hope although honestly, i think anything compared to wolfsburg could’ve looked that way to me at the time lmao keeping up with that club just for him (and partly andré schürrle) was fucking painful my god

at psg he was off to a decent start and things were starting to look up! wasn’t starting every single match but he was playing fairly well and made quick friends with his new teammates (u know who lol) etc. but then of course any sort of rhythm/momentum he gained was totally thrown off by mbappé’s and neymar’s arrivals which i think were both only around half a year after his transfer.

and so basically since then, he’s been “competing” for a spot with ney, kylian, and di maría.

(ok reading that back i realize that whole recap of his career was not really necessary or at least. making it as lengthy as i did wasn’t but. i’m too lazy to go back and reword everything so bear with me lmao)

taking all that into account, i think yes, to some extent, he has some excuse for the stagnation of his career. he’s had his injuries and he’s been played out of position for large portions of time.

but i think what really frustrates me about him is that as a fan who’s loved him for years it’s really sad to see that what’s holding him back is not necessarily a lack of ability but just that he doesn’t have the sort of drive i wish he did. it’s been on display in his performances before - he can be lazy and invisible - but i think what’s worse is how that translates off the pitch. he’s just never really seemed to fight for a spot in the starting eleven. and if the rumors are true (as they do seem so) the parisian nightlife has not been doing him very good lmao

not only that though but i think he just doesn’t care as much about football as he does about ... image? money? i don’t know. i don’t know what the word i’m looking for is. i don’t think julian is a superficial sort of person and i’m not saying ambition is a bad thing at all, but when he couldn’t go from schalke to juventus (and that failed transfer was riding, presumably, a lot on his wonderboy status at schalke), he followed the money to wolfsburg. put in performances that understandably received criticism at wolfsburg, then very publicly made a whole thing out of wanting to leave and not being able to. then followed the money to psg where he just ... vibes on the bench. well, at least up until this season. but even then, if it weren’t for all the covid cases and red cards, i don’t know if he would be playing as much as he has.

so tl;dr: i love julian a lot still and he’s still the same sweet dorky fuckboi-ish guy i’ve been a fan of since the start and i’m happy that he’s happy! the tragic irony is that what makes him happy - collecting checks while being a bench player - is also what depresses me quite a bit about him. he has his flashes of brilliance every once in a while where you can see that 17-year-old schalke wonderboy in him, so you know that hype from long ago wasn’t all a waste and that somewhere in there is a very talented, perhaps starworthy footballer. but he isn’t. not because he can’t but because he doesn’t really care to. and not in a dismissive sense i don’t think. i don’t think he thinks “ah who cares about being the best player in the world fuck that” but moreso in the sense of “ah i think i’m doing alright! that’s good enough for me.” and that sort of mentality is what places him (or at least, contributes to his position being) a tier below his peers who have proven themselves (e.g. kimmich, although that also brings up the whole “can that sort of fighter/die-on-the-pitch type mentality be taught or must it be inherent” kind of thing so let’s move on before i write an essay within this essay) at the end of the day i know not every footballer is in this sport simply for the sake of playing it, but from time to time thinking about him fills me with a lot of nostalgia and yes a tinge of disappointment because i can’t help but think of what could’ve been (i.e. what would’ve happened if he’d stayed at schalke? stayed there for good or stayed for a season or two more, developed even more hype, strengthened his abilities. had a successful transfer to a good, solid club and continued to hone his abilities, etc).

ok. now i’m done. i’m so sorry for putting u through all that and skimming this back i sound SO dramatic lmao but man i’ve been through like six-ish years of following his career so fuck it oh well

also if u wanna know how much i still care, know that after the “draxler to leeds united” rumors first dropped, i wrestled with my impulse control every single day for a week trying to stop myself from dming him on insta saying “i love you but get ur ass to leeds or i will kidnap u and get u there myself your football career is killing me but i love you and just want the best for u have a nice day xx”

#answered #thank u for this ask you're really sweet anon omg 😭#again i am surprised anybody cares about my opinions enough to ask me this... or to even talk about my liveblogging lmao...#even if it's just one anon i'm like !!!!!!!#anyway. i actually have more and more thoughts about julian but i literally wrote SEVERAL paragraphs and that man has disrespected me for t #so i'm not giving him any more of my time and energy tonight #although yes my brain is replaying his match against slovakia in the euros #and his goals against gent in the ucl back when he was with wolfsburg #and how he was the captain for the nt in the confederations cup which we won!!!#but ANYWAY #as for weigl and meyer... :(#haven't kept up much with weigl but sad about him too #as for max..... i was hopeful for him too #but i think he just got too big for his britches #which is again. another disappointing thing because look where he's at now #i just wish players understood the importance and the benefits of BEING PATIENT...#i think they just sort of give in to the hype about themselves #which is understandable but god i swear its a poison to careers #julian draxler #babe jules #anonymous #shit ava says

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sharkfish · 5 years ago

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ps i loved this one

(rereading bookmarks edition)

i’ve been rereading stories from my bookmarks as a comfort thing. i’m getting real deep in there to stuff i haven’t (re)read for years, and damn do i have good taste. the ones i’ve read recently that you should, too:

(under the cut so i’m not that asshole that makes you scroll past an endless post)

A Change of Scene by SurlyCat

When Dean goes over to see his Dom on Christmas Eve, he isn't expecting Cas to play naughty Santa, and neither of them is expecting how it turns out for them.

ooooomg fuck me up with that sex to lovers thing featuring bdsm. yessssss

A Room of His Own (or not) by Valinde (Valyria)

Dean took a deep breath and reassessed the situation. He was in bed with a guy, sure, and technically they were snuggling, but it was Cas. The guy had absolutely no reference on what was appropriate physical contact between two dudes sharing a bed in the... normal, completely unsexy, no-funny-business, way.

cas is fallen, dean is confused (what else is new), A+ cuddling. that’s the fic.

Boys On Film by LoversAntiquities @tragidean

But maybe that’s what it is—maybe Castiel’s finally realized something Dean is too chicken to admit, despite the fact he’s been jerking off to the idea of Castiel fucking him for the past few weeks. The idea warms him as much as it pains him to think about, his friend not being able to talk to him about something like that. That has to be it—it’s the only explanation. Castiel likes him.

“Or maybe he knows you do cam shows.”

Dean chokes on his burger.

idk what to say, i love a good sex worker fic and here you go. @tragidean is always here with that first-class content.

Castiel's Angel by Valinde (Valyria) @valinde

The angel took a deep breath and looked down at his hands. He was fidgeting Cas noticed. Usually he was so bizarrely at ease in his human form, lounging around and tossing winks and smirks at anyone with a pulse. That more than anything had Cas straightening on his stool and wishing he was a little less tipsy.

“Ineedyoutogroommywings,” Dean muttered in one long, almost unintelligible, string. He was blushing.

all my fellow wing hos should flock* to this fic. i also love me a good switcharoo with angel dean (and hunter cas, as this is an alternate canon universe). and dean gets all claim-y, which is also my jam.

*this was unintentional but a pretty funny joke

For Science! by pm_lo

Selected transcripts and supporting materials from Dr. Castiel Williams and Dean Winchester’s seminal study on physiological and psychological sexual response by gender designation.

i believe this was the first abo fic i added to my bookmarks. story time: many, many moons ago, i kept track of my reading list. i was doing that “50 books a year” thing so it was mostly for tracking that, but i had another tab for fics, because i read few enough that i could track them. i rated things and sometimes left notes, and by all the abo ones i was like “don’t tell anyone i read this.” yes, i shamed myself for liking abo. it was a dark time in my life.

anyway, then i read this, and was like, all right i can see what’s going on here.

this is a great fic for multiple reasons, and the format is one. it’s written as dialogue-only transcripts from their experiment. it’s hard to make that kind of format work, but pm_lo ain’t fucking around.

Just a Stranger On the Bus by Amelia_Clark

December 31 9:32 PM When Castiel boards the bus in KC, they think it’s empty at first—but when they toss their backpack onto an aisle seat and climb in after it, there’s a muffled yelp from the dimness at the back of the bus. They turn in time to see a man in a faded Carharrt jacket, sitting up and yawning as he rubs sleep out of his eyes. The man’s hair is greasy and matted down on one side, and there’s drool on the side of his face; nonetheless, he’s ridiculously good-looking.

“Hey man,” he says. Castiel does not correct him. “This can’t be Chicago.”

the non-binary tag, just like the trans tags in general, are a house half-built and left to rot in the rain. even if that wasn’t true, this series is goddamn amazing. also there’s rimming. also there’s a line in there that said something like “they don’t dislike their body, it just never felt like theirs” and i had a lightbulb moment irt my own experience. did dean ever wear carharrt in the actual series? if not, mistakes have been made.

Just Turn Around and Go by PorcupineGirl @porcupine-girl

Dean should be happy. His best friend and housemate of five years, Castiel, is moving out to live with his boyfriend, Balthazar. Dean's career is going great, so he can easily afford the house on his own now. This is just growing up, moving forward to the next phase of their lives.

It would be awesome, if he weren't in love with Cas.

Well, here we go, he thinks as he opens the refrigerator and digs around for sandwich supplies. First day of the rest of your life. Time to move the fuck on. As he slams his meat and mayo and pickles down on the counter, he considers adding the bottle of whiskey he knows is hiding in the cabinet, but decides that he has enough self-respect to wait 'til five. Then he'll get fucking blackout drunk. Yep. Awesome.

y’all, do i even have to say anything about this? roommates to friends to a pathetic amount of pining without saying shit to disgustingly in love. also i think i cried, but i’ve been in tears so many times in the last week, who’s to say.

Plus One by ceeainthereforthat @ceeainthereforthat

Castiel Novak might have to attend three weddings in two months, but he’s not about to let his brother play matchmaker. His family’s Internet streaming company is too important to let a relationship steal his time, but he knows exactly what to do–hire someone to pretend to be his boyfriend.

Dean Winchester has worked five-star hospitality long enough to know how to fit in with Castiel’s crowd, and this job could score him the connections to make his acting career take off. It’s a business deal, no matter how they’re drawn to each other. When the lines of their contract start to blur into real feelings, can they withstand Castiel’s family and jealous fans working to split them up?

there are a lot of great fake dating stories out there, but this one takes the cake (or, at least, a slice of it). also, i cried a lot rereading this, both “ohhh god i love their love” tears and also “ohhhh god this hurts so bad” tears.

Should've Just Asked by Annie D (scaramouche)

Despite their age gap and differing social circles, Castiel has struck up a warm friendship with Mary Winchester, a wealthy widowed socialite. When Castiel needs a place to stay, Mary invites him into her house, where there’s loads of spare room. Castiel’s aware that they make an odd pair, but he doesn’t fully realize how things look to outsiders, especially to Mary’s eldest son. All Dean Winchester sees is that his mom has apparently hooked up with a hot young guy (who is totally Dean’s type) and that makes things… weird.

they’re both oblivious idiots in love, cas is grey-ace, dean’s a total dork, it’s all just very lovely (and frustrating in the way oblivious idiots can be!!!).

PS - annie d is writing marvel fic lately and i’m sure it’s fantastic if you’re into that kind of thing.

Support Your Local Gay Beekeeper by Powerfulweak

It’s not like Dean goes on Grindr very often, just when he’s bored and alone. The blue-eyed guy's profile reads "Beekeeper, 29, 5'10, Single, I watch the bees." Dean is intrigued. He has to send a message.

this is a series that starts with some great phone sex and then goes on to very, very awkward sex injuries. a goddamn cringefest that had me in complete horror imagining it. but it’s fun! they persevere! people so rarely write about Sex Going Wrong and i love @powerfulweak for taking the bullet for us on that one.

Take Me Home Tonight by Persephoneshadow @persephoneshadow

“Come on, we’re finding you someone to…engage with sexually or whatever,” Dean explains, chancing another swig of beer before going on. “Anyone in this bar, no limits, who would you would be your top choice to bang?” “Well, you, ideally.” Dean spits out some beer before collapsing in on himself, legitimately choking this time. “Excuse me?!” ---- Or the one where Cas wants to have sex and Dean is there to help.

your classic denialist “i’ll be your wingman” turning to “actually imagining someone else touching you makes me want to punch someone.” which is dumb, because cas actually wanted dean all along.

Words with Friends by betts

"Dean Winchester is as straight as an arrow. He’s a lady’s man of epic proportions: the king of the one night stand, the messiah of the friends with benefits paradigm, the emperor of perpetual bachelorhood.

Except, apparently, when it comes to his best friend, Castiel Novak."

***

Wherein a longstanding acquaintanceship leads to friendship, then best friendship, then sexting, then dirty talk, then mutual masturbation, then, inevitably, fucking.

look i think you’re always in good hands with @bettsfic. but this one has some good sexting and phone sex right at the start, which i’m totally into, and then it gets even better. cas is a lil bossy, by which i meant to say he’s the kind of bdsm geek who has equipment installed in his bedroom for sex purposes.

You're The Only Stranger I Need by lyndsie_l

When Castiel receives a text from a stranger, he finds himself engaging in conversations daily. He's drawn to the outgoing college student and longs to interact with the other man as often as he can. Slowly, he finds himself falling in love with the other and can't imagine ever meeting a more beautiful person.

The only problem?

He's never actually met this other man.

be still my heart! a long distance/texting/phone sex thing! i want to read it again right this second. cas is such a cool nerd, dean is a brat, it’s a good time all around.

if you enjoy these fics (and you should), please give the writer some love via kudos and/or comments. <3

ps - as always, if i didn’t tag the writer and you know their tumblr, please tag in the comments. i don’t think there’s a writer alive who wouldn’t be happy to be on a rec list. :)

#sharkrecs #sharklist

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mydayy · 6 years ago

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My Starry Sky | Part 9 |

Paring: Lee Seunghwa x Reader x Hong Dabin

feat. Christian Yu

Summary: They say time apart makes the heart grow fonder but is that really the case after years of miscommunication and silence. You encounter one another again in a unexpected way and many different situations arise.

< Previous | Next >

She made her way into the kitchen and grabed a glass cup and filled it with water. After gulped it down, after catching her breath she wore a lingering tug of her lips on her face as she headed towards the hallway. She turned to open a door revealing a room painted in all white. Making her way inside, she slowly approached the right of the room where the bed, currently occupied by a smaller figure stood. She sat down to the side of the bed, and gently pushed the stray hairs out of his face. His cheeks where a light pink and his mouth formed a soft pout. His face formed a small smile as she used a gentle tone and addressed the young child.

“Haneul.”

“Time to wake up, Haneul.”

He sturred and pulled his head to the side. She sat there and gently pushed hairs out of his face. Soft giggles left her lips as she glanced at his small sleeping figure. He slowly woke up, and he lightly rubbed his eyes with his one of his hands. The sleep left him as a question was soon raised.

‘Eomma why are you laughing?’

“Ah nothing, it’s just you looked so cute right now.”

‘I’m always cute.’

“Ah sorry, your right about that.”

‘Eomma’

“Ah.”

‘I love you, eomma.’

“Eomma loves Haneul, too.”

After preparing breakfast and packing lunch and some snacks for Haneul, she sets his lunchbox in his backpack.

“Haneul.”

‘Yes eomma.’

“Make sure.”

‘Eat carrots.’

“Bingo.”

After zipping his backpack, she is greeted with the voice of a older women.

‘Are you going out?’

“Ah yeah. I’m taking Haneul to school then I’m heading out.”

‘Well I guess I’ll see you, when you come home.’

“I’ll see you, later then. Bye.”

And with that she was out the door and on her way.

‘Eomma, going somewhere.’

“Ah Haneul is sharp.”

‘Eomma looks pretty today?’

“I though Eomma always looks pretty though.”

‘Eomma’s always pretty!’

“Ah alright.”

‘Eomma going out?’

“Oh yeah, I’m going out.”

‘Date?’

“A what?”

‘With Uncle Seunghwa.’

‘So are you?’

‘Going on date?’

“Haneul.”

“No. Haneul I’m not going on a date. I’m just going to work.”

‘Why not?’

“What do you mean why not, because.”

‘Uncle Seunghwa.’

‘I like him.’

‘He visits me, and he plays games too.’

‘Eomma, why can’t you date Uncle Seunghwa so he can always visit and play with me.’

‘And Eomma looks so happy when she’s with him.’

“Haneul.”

‘Hmm.’

“Would that make you happy.”

‘Make me happy?’

“You having someone that would visit and play with?”

‘No.’

“No?”

‘I want.’

‘Someone who loves Eomma, and Haneul.’

“Haneul..”

The silent was so much that a drop of a pen could shatter it. Arriving at her destination she faced the smaller child. She took in his small features. His eyes, mouth and nose, and his small fingers on his toes and hands.

“Haneul, Eomma I-"

The tears stained the corner of her eyes, as she looked at his smaller figure and took in his small hands in her own. He reached out, and with a soft tone said:

‘Haneul is sorry."

‘Haneul made eomma cry.’

“Oh no eomma is sorry, Haneul.”

“Eomma loves, Haneul so much.”

‘Haneul loves eomma, too.’

The exchange occurred until both where filled with small sounds of laugher and giggles as they made their way toward the multicolored building the kindergarten was occupied in. On his way he walked and skipped on the stone floor outside. Haneul made his way inside and rushed from her side as she was greeted with a soft smile of the teacher that was in charge of the children.

“Hello.”

‘Hello, Haneul’s mother.’

She gave a smile filled with love and tenderness as she looked at his small figure.

“Well than, if you’ll excuse me.”

‘Haneul’s mother.’

“Yes.”

‘Could I talk to you for a few minutes.’

“Ah yes with what could I help you with, teacher?”

“Is Haneul not doing well in class?”

‘Ah no. Haneul has been doing great, he’s the best behaved in class.’

“Then what would you like to talk about, teacher?”

‘He’s been distant and rather quiet lately.’

‘Since the mention of the upcoming father’s day event approaching, he’s been looking kind of down.’

‘It seems like he also has decided not to participate in the celebrations or games.’

‘I think its something of concern, I wanted to bring it up with you before, but I hadn’t the opportunity.’

“I’ll try talking to him.”

“Thank you.”

‘Haneul’s mother?’

“Yes.”

‘I know it might not be my place, but haven’t you gotten in contact with his father yet?’

“Haneul’s Father?”

And if she was asked how many times he crossed her mind she would say once because he never left.

“Teacher of Icourse I would, if I could. I tried everything I could, but still it wasn’t near enough. After Haneul’s father enlisted it has been hard on the both of us. I still can’t get in contact with him, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know when or how he’ll return. I’ll do all I can, but i know it might not be enough. I’ll try talking to him, it’s all I can do for now so please be understanding, teacher.”

‘Haneul’s mother, I understand.’

‘Please excuse my disrespectful and inpredudent behavior, I know it wasn’t my place. And I’m sorry I brought up such unpleasant thoughts and emotions for you.’

“Ah no it’s alright. I don’t fault you. I too want to be able to do more but. Well anyway I’ll try talking to Haneul about it, I’m sure we can work something out.”

‘Put all your trust in me, I’ll do my best. So please don’t worry about anything, I’ll take care of him.’

“Thank you very much.”

“Have a good day, we’ll then goodbye.”

‘Likewise Haneul’s mother. Thank you.’

The sound of blaring sounds of Seoul filled the sky. The same way it filled her mind. It was just like the way she felt. And soon she found her coursing her way through the busling streets. And she tasked herself with finding the courage she needed more then ever. She made her way toward the familiar café down the road from the Han River. After arriving toward her destination, the one she frequently visited she entered through the door. She was greeted with the aroma of coffee, as she made her way towards the register where she was greeted by the same friendly barista that always worked there v

‘Welcome~’

‘The usual I presume?’

“Yes, please.”

After exchanging currency she made her way toward the same spot she always sat at.

Her gaze meet the barista as he called out another order.

‘Americano with extra shot, and extra ice.’

Getting up making her way towards the counter to retrieve her drink. When suddenly two different hands met the same cup. Her gaze was greeted with a familiar silhouette. The silence that surfaced was so tense it could be cut with a knife. Both at a loss of words, she looked away. As the barista from before addressed the issue at hand, with a small grin plastered on his face.

‘Yah man, it’s her order.’

In a frantic rush he let go of the cup resulting in the cup being removing from his hand and hers as well. The rash movement sent the cup flying over. The cup made contact with her and suddenly she was drenched in it.

‘Oh my gosh.’

‘Ah I’m terribly sorry.’

‘I’m such a clutse.’

‘I’m so sorry about all this.’

The sudden burst made her laugh.

After countless napkins and apologizes she made her way out and settled off.

“Do you always spill your drinks on women?”

‘Only the pretty ones.’

“As much as I appreciate the commplents, I wouldn’t want to have reason to think you’re doing this on purpose, right?”

‘Your such a tease.’

“I am well aware.”

“But we seriously need to stop meeting like this.”

“I can not imagine letting my limited amount of blouses substain anymore injury.”

“And so far, it’s been alright. It’s only been twice that you spilled coffee on me.”

‘Maybe threes the charm.’

“Don’t push your luck, Mr. Yu.”

‘Noted.’

“So you heading to work too?”

‘Yeah I’m heading to DPR’s office.’

“Ah I see.”

‘And you?’

“Me? I was heading over to Jay’s office.”

“But I guess I need to make another detour again.”

‘Sorry about that, (Y/n).’

“It’s fine, really. I just need to stop by my office to get a spare change of clothes.”

‘It’s my fault, I feel bad.’

“Don’t worry, stuff happens.”

‘I’m heading out now, want me to drop you off on my way?’

“Would that really be fine with you?”

‘Yeah sure why not, I didn’t really have much to do so it isn’t a problem, and you clearly can’t go out drenched in coffee like that. Wait-'

He takes off his jacket, and places it over my shoulder covering my coffee stained front. And as i makes my way toward the vehicle, he runs ahead to opens the passenger side for me.

“Thanks, Christian.”

‘Ah it’s the least I can do, after everything.’

The car ride was filled with chitchat and laughs as we headed toward our destination.

“I appreciate it.”

‘I’m pretty sure it isn’t about me spilling coffee on you.’

“The other day.”

“When you returned my wallet.”

‘Ahh that day.’

“I’m sure your curious.”

‘I mean I wasn’t expecting it.’

“It wasn’t like i was trying to hide it.”

“Being a mom, you know.”

‘I know.’

“Hanuel.”

‘What.’

“His name.”

“My son’s name.”

‘Hanuel, meaning sky and/or heaven right?’

“Right.”

‘It’s a beautiful name.’

“Yes, that it is.”

“Working for a company and especially a music label wouldn’t come easy. All the fans, media exposure, smoking, drinking, and drama. I’ll rather not have Haneul come across all that. That’s the main point, but I mostly try to keep my work and personal life separate. Plus Haneul is pretty young, I wouldn’t want him being caught up in that exposure. It isn’t healthy for a child.”

‘I understand wanting to keep Haneul away from the music scene.’

“Do you really.”

‘Of course I do.’

The rest of the car ride was filled with silence.

‘If you don’t mind me asking.’

“Ask away.”

‘I didn’t see anyone else, that day but you and Haneul.’

“Yup it’s Haneul and me. Well my mother does help out a lot."

‘And what about his father? If you don’t mind me asking.’

“Haneul’s Father?

“He’s off fighting his own battles.”

“Well this is me, I’ll see you, Christian.”

And what he’ll never know is the war she fought, with herself to give up on him. But even if he did, she was certain he wouldn’t understand it. Because that’s what it is like inside when heart and mind are enemies at war. And one has to lose.

Masterlist

#Korean Hip Hop #Khiphop #khh #scenarios #images #Dream Perect Regime #DREAM #PERFECT #REGIME #DPR #DPR LIVE #LIVE #Hong Dabin #AOMG #GRAY #Lee Sunghwa #Christian Yu #Yu Barom #IAN #ROME

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writinginstardust · 6 years ago

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Whatever It Takes

Pairing: Isaak Andreyev x reader

Warnings: injury, death mentions, little bit of mild language

A/N: I did a bad thing. Okay so the end is very angsty and I cried while writing it. I got carried away writing this and whacked it out in literally 2 days which is impressive as shit for me especially considering I worked all day everyday 😂 you can partially blame Michelle for giving me the idea for some slightly...shall we say...warped Grisha powers buuut it may have hurt more if I’d kept it to my original plan. look I don’t wanna spoil anything much so just read it if my angel Isaak is someone you’re interested in. Also if you want to potentially cry a bit like I did then when you get to the KoS party listen to “Say Something” by A Great Big World, “I’ll Never Love Again” by Molly Hocking, and/or “Human” by Christina Perri. Enjoy!

Word Count: 4936

When Nikolai first assigned Isaak as one of my personal guards a few years ago I never imagined we'd end up here. He should have just been one more face in the sea of people I saw daily but he caught my attention from the moment I met him standing guard outside my bedroom. He was cute. Quiet and unassuming for the most part. Younger than I'd expected. I didn't usually take note of the details but something about the way his hair fought the neat style he'd been going for to curl at his neck and behind his ears had me momentarily entranced.

"Ah, (Y/N), allow me to introduce your newest guard, Captain Andreyev. Your brother chose him specially, he thinks you'll get along well," Garik, another of my guards, said as he saw me standing in the doorway.

"Does he now? Tell me Captain, do you like to have fun? Real fun." A hesitant nod. "You like reading?" A more confident nod. "Nikolai assign you rather than vasily?" Another nod. "Excellent. I'd have to have you re-assigned otherwise." He looked startled and I grinned.

"Something you should learn quickly, Andreyev, don't take much of what she says seriously."

"Excuse me, Garik, that's your princess you're talking about," I sassed.

"I apologise, please forgive me Princess." He smirked as I physically cringed.

"Okay I brought that one on myself, don't do that again." I turned back to Isaak. "Second thing you should learn, I'm not a fan of titles. Too stuffy and I like to think we're all the same at the core. So, Captain, do you have a first name I can call you instead?"

He still seemed thoroughly confused by how the morning had turned out for him but he looked happier about it than most that got assigned to me. "Isaak, ...your highness, ...my name's Isaak."

"What did I say about titles, Isaak?" I teased. "From now on it's just (Y/N), Okay?"

"Yes, your highne-(Y/N). Sorry, I'll get better at that." I studied him for a moment with a smile.

"I like you, I think Nikolai was right. ...Don't ever tell him I said that, I'll never hear the end of it." I looked over to Garik. "I mean it. I'll have your head before I give him a reason to be smug." I felt Isaak tense beside me and couldn't hold back a chuckle as I addressed him again. "I'm kidding...mostly. You'll get used to it eventually, right Garik?"

"She's lying, run while you still can."

"Stop it, you'll scare him off. Honestly Isaak, you have nothing to worry about. Nikolai gave you the best job in the palace. I'm, as my parents put it, 'Too laid back for my own good' but that's their fault for having me last. I mean what's the point in learning how to run the country when I never will? Anyway, we have fun, you'll see."

They escorted me to breakfast and then I spent the rest of the day in the library, very definitely not avoiding the tutor who's work I hadn't bothered to do. By the end of the day Isaak finally seemed to feel at ease and even started to appreciate my particular sense of humour.

He was kind and sweet and very funny when he was comfortable and relaxed and I found myself really enjoying his company. I hoped he'd stick around, if only so I could see his crooked smile again.

"Saints it's late!" I exclaimed after glancing at the clock. "I'm so sorry, you can go and sleep. From now on you have my permission to tell me to shut up whenever you need. You don't have to listen to me prattle on for hours, it's not in your job description." He chuckled and the sound was possibly the most beautiful thing I'd ever heard. I wanted to make it happen again. A lot.

"No need, I enjoy listening to you talk. You're a very interesting person." He smiled shyly and I felt my cheeks heat slightly at the compliment.

"Thank you. I recommend you do stop me on occasion though, for your own good."

"I'll keep it in mind. Until tomorrow." He bowed.

"No bowing!" I scolded but a laugh interrupted it as Isaak lifted his head and I saw the cheeky grin plastered on his face. "Saints, Garik's already rubbed off on you. There really is no hope." He chuckled again and I mentally cheered.

"Goodnight (Y/N), sleep well."

"Good night Isaak."

It was two years full of repressed feelings, late night talks, and silent but companionable afternoons reading before anything happened between us. True to form, it was more than a little unorthodox.

Isaak had been injured protecting me during the Darkling's attack on the palace and when he'd finally awoken at the Spinning Wheel I hadn't even hesitated to kiss him.

"If I knew all I had to do to get you to kiss me was almost die, I'd have done it a long time ago." He smiled and I couldn't help but smile back as I sat back and entangled our fingers.

"You know you could have just done it yourself whenever you wanted."

"Considering boys like me aren't supposed to be with girls like you, I don't think I could have."

"You should know better than most that I'm just another girl. A normal girl who fell in love with a normal boy. A title can't change that."

"I know you don't care about that stuff but your title makes you second in line to rule. You may not like it and neither do I but there's things people expect from you."

"What if I don't want this life though?" I practically whispered. "What if I want to make my own choices? What if I want to choose you?"

"(Y/N)..."

"This life ruins everything. It's full of war and hard decisions, it takes away your freedom to be who you're meant to be, and eventually it kills you. Like it killed Vasily." It was silent for a moment. I'd never told anyone about the way I felt and I was worried it might change things. Who was I to complain? I'd had everything but here I was unsatisfied with life. It probably seemed beyond selfish to someone like Isaak who had lived with so very little. "I'm sorry, I-"

"It's okay, you're allowed to be unhappy. ...Do you want to talk about him? ...about what happened?"

"I...I don't know... I was never as close to Vasily as I am to Nikolai but...he was still my brother and I loved him." I felt my eyes start to water and tried to wipe away the tears before they could fall. "He was foolish and kind of an asshole sometimes but he didn't deserve to die like that. I miss him…" The last part was barely louder than a breath and I couldn't keep back the tears any longer.

Isaak had held me while I cried and done so again and again whenever I'd needed him.

By some miracle we survived the war and, without the looming threat to our lives and our country, decided to give a relationship a proper chance. It was everything I'd wanted and more. All my firsts were his and it wasn't long before I knew I wanted all my lasts to be as well. Everything was great until Nikolai disappeared.

We'd had to put his contingency plan in action and Isaak had been far too willing to step up.

"Face it, I'm the best option. I know Nikolai well enough now and I've got you to help." He said when we all met to discuss options.

"I still don't think it's going to work. Can we not explain his absence another way?" I countered

"Not without both Nikolai and Ravka seeming vulnerable." Tamar pointed out. "You could probably handle a lot of the important state matters but it won't be enough. I think Isaak is our best bet."

"It's not ideal to be doing this on so little preparation but he's right. He knows Nikolai enough and you can keep an eye on him easily. With you his sister, no one will question it." Genya made a good point. If he wasn't completely alone we might be able to pull it off.

"Alright, let's do it then."

"I won't let you down," Isaak promised. "When do we start?"

"Now." "Tomorrow." Tamar and I said at the same time.

"Isn't it better to start sooner?" She asked.

"Well...yes. But he's going to start looking like my brother soon and there's no way I can kiss him or anything when he's like that. Give me one more day with him, it won't hurt."

"Okay, we'll get started in the morning then. You two enjoy your last bit of time together." Genya grinned, waggling her eyebrows suggestively, and I felt my cheeks heat in response.

"What she said." Tamar agreed. "Just keep it quiet, I don't need to hear it."

"...And on that note, we'll be going now. See you all tomorrow." I took Isaak's hand and pulled him out of the room. "Well that was embarrassing."

"Thought you'd be used to it by now."

"So did I. You're sure you want to do this?"

"I'm sure. If it helps you and Nikolai, I'll do anything."

"You're amazing you know."

"So you keep telling me." He grinned.

"Only because it's true. Now come here." I reached up to slide my arms around his neck and pull him into a kiss. He returned it eagerly as his hands came to rest on my waist. I ran my tongue over his bottom lip and he instinctively opened his mouth to me, deepening the kiss and moving to pull me closer.

A throat being cleared close by had us jumping away from each other to find Tamar standing there.

"I know I said I don't need to hear it but I didn't think I had to specify that I also don't need to see it." She raised a brow at us. "Get a room. Preferably before you cause a scene." And she walked away without another word.

"She makes a good point. The room I had here is unoccupied and much closer than the palace," I suggested.

"Lead the way then."

The next few weeks were a whirlwind and I was barely able to catch a break between teaching Isaak and helping run the country, and then parties and meetings and girls who wouldn't stop asking me about my brother. But finally it was coming to an end. All our guests would be leaving soon and I could finally get at least a little peace and quiet. There was just one more thing to handle first. Princess Ehri.

She'd been the focus of a lot of our attention since she'd arrived. Tamar had wanted to figure out if one of her guards would defect so we'd found excuses for Isaak to spend time with her and get close. He thought she might know something and be persuaded to tell...if they were alone. Which was why at Isaak's covert signal I'd slipped away from the party and followed them here.

I watched closely from a spot in the bushes and prayed Isaak wasn't wrong about her. It was a risk but when he'd told me what he intended to do I hadn't been able to deny how much like Nikolai it would be. So we'd gone ahead with it. Without any protection.

It was hard to watch the two of them so close together, made my stomach churn unpleasantly. Even though he looked like my brother I still knew it was him and I wasn't afraid to admit that seeing him with another girl made me jealous.

I heard rustling beside me and turned to find Nikolai, the real Nikolai, crouching there.

"Hi trouble."

"Nikolai...saints...you're back, you're alive." I threw my arms around him and buried my face in his shoulder, tears starting to fall from my eyes.

"Oh sweetheart don't cry." He squeezed me back tightly and I felt like I could finally breathe again. "You're going to ruin my shirt."

"You ass," I mumbled, the edge of anger in my voice getting lost in the fabric of his shirt. "You stupid, reckless, irresponsible, mad, pirating, ass!"

"I'm happy to see you too. But what exactly are you doing hiding in the bushes?" We finally let go of each other and I was pleased to notice I hadn't been the only one crying.

"Keeping an eye on Isaak." I pointed at the window and watched Nikolai's eyes widen comically is he caught sight of his doppelganger.

"You actually tried that insane plan?"

"We did and it worked like a charm thanks to me." I grinned.

"You know me too well dearest sister, I'm going to have to start keeping secrets." He poked my side and I rolled my eyes as I batted his hand away. "I thought we decided not to use Isaak since you two got together though? It's a dangerous job and I didn't want to risk him."

"I know. He volunteered though and he had the best chance at pulling it off." I'd loathed the thought of having the man I loved put in this position. It had been bad enough knowing my brother's life was in constant danger all our lives, but losing him and putting Isaak at risk as well was painful. Yet another sacrifice I had to make for being born royal.

"Self-sacrificing idiots, the pair of you." Nikolai shook his head fondly.

"That's rich coming from you."

"I am a King, darling, it's my job."

"Is not. Speaking of, did you manage to do it." He knew what I meant without me clarifying, and nodded.

"It's fine, we can talk about it all later-saints, is that a knife!?" I whipped my head round to find Ehri standing way too close to Isaak, a dagger held behind her back. I stood and raced round to the doors but before I could get them open she plunged the dagger into his heart and then turned it on herself. I screamed out as I finally resorted to smashing the glass door when it wouldn't budge.

I scrambled through, cutting myself on the shards that lay around me without feeling the sting. I had to get to Isaak, I had to heal him before it was too late. That was all that mattered.

I dropped to my knees beside him, a hand instinctively going to his chest to start the healing process. It was sticky with blood already and I could feel more and more pouring out every second.

"Isaak, hey, can you hear me? You still with me?" I asked as softly as I could through the tears and sobs that were starting to take over my body. He opened his eyes and looked up at me with a sad smile, somehow finding my free hand and entwining our fingers.

"(Y/N)?"

"I'm here. It's going to be okay, I'm going to make it okay." Even as I said it I wasn't sure it was true. The wound was healing but not fast enough, he was losing too much blood and I couldn't replace it and fix the hole in his chest at the same time.

"I guess I was wrong about her." He said.

"Shhh, don't talk." I dimly registered the sound of doors being thrown open and several sets of footsteps skidding to a halt not far away but then Isaak coughed and I tuned it out. Specks of blood flew from his lips and I felt my heart sink. The vial of Parem I always kept on me sat heavy in my pocket and my fingers twitched with the need to grab it. It was my last hope. The drug could do incredible things and maybe it still wouldn't be enough and maybe it would kill me in the process but Isaak was getting worse and it was my only option. Without it I wasn't going to be able to save him.

He coughed again and there was more blood, staining his lips and trickling from the corners of his mouth. I made up my mind.

"I can't...It's not working," I sobbed.

"'S okay. I love you (Y/N), so much."

"I'm sorry Isaak."

"Don't be sorry, ...you did what you could...I'm not afraid to die." He smiled weakly and reached up a trembling hand to brush away my tears with his thumb.

"No, you're not going to die, that's not why I'm sorry… Im sorry about what I'm going to do to save you."

"(Y/N)...?"

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the small vial of powder, unscrewing it with shaking hands. I was terrified, this might well kill me but I had to try. I couldn't lose Isaak.

"No…" the protest came out as weak as he was but the panic in his eyes was strong and the others noticed.

"I have to."

"(Y/N), what are you doing?" Nikolai took a step towards me and his eyes caught on the vial in my hand. He darted forward and grabbed my wrist before I could take the Parem. "Don't you dare," he yelled. "I won't let you take that."

"It's the only way to save him," I shot back, trying to wrestle my hand from his grasp. I didn't have long before it would be too late.

"(Y/N) you can't, it could kill you," he tried to reason.

"I don't care! I can't heal him like this, I'm not strong enough, but I can do it with Parem."

"I can't let you risk your life." His voice was softer now and I could see the pain in his eyes. I knew I was hurting him and it wasn't fair but I had to do it.

"And I can't let him die. I'm sorry Nikolai." I finally yanked my hand back and swallowed the powder before anyone could stop me.

I could feel myself getting stronger every moment as the Parem flooded my system, everything was more intense, more focused, stronger. I could feel everything. The blood pumping through my friends' veins, the cells multiplying in my body, ...the near lifelessness of Isaak. Every new sensation and detail was a wonder, it felt incredible. Then came a feeling of impending death and I knew where it originated.

I pulled my focus from everything around me and instead set it on Isaak. With barely a thought and in the blink of an eye his wound had closed and he began to take deep, even breaths again. His eyes flickered open as I manipulated his body into replenishing his blood supply, the colour rapidly returning to his face. I breathed a sigh of relief as I felt how very alive and okay he was.

Isaak's hands flew up to his chest as he sat up and his wide eyes flicked over to me when he felt no wound. I smiled and took his hand, my other reaching up to cup his face. It had worked, it had really worked.

"(Y/N)...No...You shouldn't have." He had tears in his eyes, fully-conscious mind registering what I'd done.

"There was no other way." More tears, happy ones this time, slid down my face. "I couldn't watch you die."

"You had better survive this stuff then because I can't watch you die." He pressed a kiss to my palm. "Can you heal her?" He nodded towards Ehri. "We might need her."

I didn't want to, not after she'd almost taken Isaak from me but I did. It was so easy. Nikolai ordered Tolya to bring her to the infirmary and keep an eye on her before coming to kneel beside me. He did not look happy.

"You are in so much trouble when you recover from this. So. Much. Trouble." He looked over to Isaak. "I'm glad you're okay. That was a stupid risk you two took tonight though...clearly you're far too good at being me."

"He is, it's rather disconcerting at times." I grinned but it slipped from my face very quickly as i felt the effects of the drug begin to wane.

"Uh-oh…"

"(Y/N)?" Nikolai placed a hand on my cheek and turned my head to make me meet his concerned eyes. "What's wrong? Talk to me."

"It's fading." I whispered, feeling weaker by the second. Isaak's hand clenched around my own and both he and Nikolai sucked in a breath. We all knew what came next wasn't going to be pretty.

"Listen to me." Isaak's voice was remarkably steady but I could feel his heartbeat and knew it was all show. "You're strong, you can fight it. Nina beat it and so can you. Don't give up." His thumb started rubbing soothing circles on the back of my hand. "I know it's going to be hard and it's going to hurt but we believe in you, you can get through it." I took a deep breath and nodded.

"Okay… you're right...I can do this." Then a thought hit me. "I've got an idea."

Rather than explain I got right to it, I hadn't taken much in the hope it would be easier to recover and I didn't have much time left. I could feel the Parem inside me just as I could feel each cell in my body. I focused on the lingering Parem particles and made my body attack. I knew I'd never get it all but I could try. That was only half the problem though. I could feel the damage the drug had done, how it had altered the chemistry of my mind and body. Injuries like any other. I healed them. ...Well as best I could when having to use the very thing that caused them in the first place.

Finally there was no more I could do. Hopefully I'd given myself a fighting chance but I couldn't be sure. As I felt myself crashing down from the high I ceased my efforts and opened my eyes to gaze into Isaak's for what could be the last time.

"I love you," I said, squeezing his hand in promise. I'd fight. Fight it for him and come back. This wasn't a goodbye.

He opened his mouth to say it back but I collapsed before he could. Darkness and pain engulfed me and the despair they wrought made me want to give up immediately, anything to make it and. But I held tight to the thought of Isaak waiting for me and the silent promise I made. I would face anything to get back to him and be in his arms once more. Fight it he'd said, so I fought.

A long while later - what I soon found out had been a week - the fight was finally over. I woke to blinding light and silence but I didn't wake alone. When my body at last felt like my own again and my eyes had adjusted to the soft morning? evening? light I registered two sleeping forms weighing down my bed and trapping my hands.

At some point while the healers and heartrenders had me knocked out, Isaak had been made to look himself again. His curly brown hair was a mess and I longed to run my hand through it again. My fingers twitched against his cheek with the need and I felt Isaak begin to stir at the movement. He lifted his head and our eyes locked. His eyes this time, not my brother's. Saints I'd missed those eyes.

"Well you look terrible," I teased. It was a blatant lie. After weeks of seeing him with Nikolai's face and watching him almost die in front of me, nothing was sweeter than the sight of him alive and himself again.

"I did almost die you know," he grumbled sleepily but couldn't keep a smile off his face.

"That's old news and I almost died right after."

"Yes, and you are in a whole world of trouble for that." I hadn't noticed Nikolai wake up on my other side but at his words I cringed and turned to look at him. He looked awful as well.

"In my defence I didn't actually die...so maybe don't be mad at me?"

"Actually you did. ...(Y/N) do you realise the absolute hell you put us both through this past week? Your heart stopped twice and both times I thought they weren't going to be able to get you back, that I was going to have to watch my baby sister die right in front of me and not be able to do anything to save you. Do you understand how hard that is?" Nikolai had tears in his eyes and the pain of seeing him so undone, having been the one that caused it, gnawed away at my heart.

"I do understand," I said quietly. "It's exactly how I felt when Isaak was dying." I took a steadying breath and squeezed both their hands. This much emotion so soon after waking up was difficult to cope with.

"I know what I did was a stupid risk and you can both lecture me as much as you like about it but let me ask you something first. It might help you understand. Now, I have no idea just how bad I was but you both look like wrecks so it must have been a bit of a horror show. If you'd had the chance to make it better, to stop the pain and help me, would you have done whatever it took?" As I suspected they both nodded without even a moment's hesitation. "Then you can't blame me for doing what I did. I'd do anything, sacrifice everything, to save either one of you. There was nothing you could do for me but there was something I could do for Isaak and I won't ever regret taking that risk. It was worth it." Both of them had started crying and I tugged on their hands to bring them into a hug. "I'm sorry I scared you," I whispered through my own tears.

"We forgive you," Isaak breathed into my shoulder. "Just never, ever do anything like that again."

"I promise." I let them go and they both took seats on the edge of my bed. "So what have I missed? And what happened to you?"

"A lot," Nikolai said simply. "I'll get you caught up later but you should probably know that I'll be marrying Princess Ehri."

"What!? She tried to kill Isaak! ...Or you I guess."

"Not her actually, that was one of the Tavgharad, Mayu."

"That makes a lot of sense actually. I can't believe you're really getting married though."

"Neither can I but we all have to do what's necessary." He paused and the smirk I knew to fear spread across his face. "Speaking of marriage...I expect you two to finally stop putting it off. If almost dying for each other isn't enough to commit then I don't know what is."

"Is that really possible though? I mean, (Y/N)'s a beloved Princess and I'm just a guard." There was so much hope in Isaak's eyes and I could only hope that wouldn't be shattered.

"Also technically he didn't almost die for me, he did that for you. Maybe you should marry him."

"Maybe, we'd make a very attractive a couple." He eyed Isaak jokingly and I poked his chest hard.

"Hands of, I got there first."

"Fine. But I don't think anyone can object to a man who laid down his life for his King. Isaak is a hero and I do believe the Princesses in the stories marry the heroes."

"You're serious?" Nikolai nodded with a grin. "Thank you!"

"There's nothing to thank me for. All I want is for you to be happy and Isaak makes you happy. I'll be damned if something as ridiculous as the circumstances of your births takes that away from you."

"You are the best brother ever."

"I know." He turned to Isaak. "You know you're already like a brother to me now but I'm still warning you. Don't ever do something stupid and dangerous like that again. If you get hurt, that hurts (Y/N) and I refuse to let anything else hurt her again. Understand?"

"Of course."

"Speaking of hurting, everything's okay with your wound right?" I asked Isaak.

"It's fine, I've never felt better actually. You did good, didn't even leave a scar."

"Really?" I couldn't quite believe it somehow and pulled down the collar of his shirt to check. Nothing. Not a mark marred his skin. My fingers idly traced where the dagger had pierced but I could feel as little as I could see. There really was no sign anything had even happened.

"I feel like I shouldn't be seeing this," Nikolai said, averting his eyes.

"Leave then," I said not even bothering to look over at him. And when I pulled Isaak down into a kiss, he did.

I'd missed this. The soft press of Isaak's mouth against mine, the safety I felt wrapped in his arms, the utter surety of every touch. Everything silently saying I love you, I'll never stop loving you. And I'd never stop loving him either. If I had to die a thousand times to keep him beside me it would never be too much.

Tag Lists: (send an ask if you want to be added!)

Everything: @wonderfilledness

Grishaverse: @thats-so-bucky

#Isaak Andreyev #Isaak Andreyev x reader #grishaverse #grishaverse fanfic #King of Scars #King of Scars fanfic #KoS #KoS fanfic #Isaak Andreyev x you #Isaak Andreyev imagine #Isaak Andreyev fanfic #grishaverse imagine #king of scars imagine #KoS imagine #reader insert #angst

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mythical-song-wolf · 6 years ago

Text

BNHA Fluff Week

Day 1 Time // Seasons

6:30pm

Deku looks over the top of a building, gazing down to the streets and people below. The night is bright but full of evils.

Several screams can be heard as a person runs down the street, their Quirk flaring its power to keep anyone who tries to stop them away.

Deku sighs before he leaps down and lands before the villain, who stops in their tracks and pales. Deku smirks as the energy from his Quirk zips around his form.

Meanwhile

The agency just got their newest shipment of desk chairs, which now have arm rest and wheels. Mina and Denki look at each other with mischievous smiles and a playful glint in their eyes.

“Denki, Mina. No,” Tenya states, already knowing the potential chaos these two can cause without the added bonus of the wheeled chairs. There’s a reason roller skates are banned in the agency.

________________________________________________________________

6:45pm

The fight with the villain was brief, since they knew they’d lost the moment they found out they would be dealing with him. So Deku’s statement was short and brief, thankfully that also means the paperwork won’t be necessary outside of a mention in his report of his patrol.

Deku continues on with his patrol route for the evening, greeting excited fans and the shop workers who are more than used to seeing one of the pillars of society on the daily. The effects of meeting someone with their fame tends to wear off when you’ve seen them with disheveled clothing and bed head.

For the average citizen, it was like seeing a celebrity walk past. Of course, over the years the public mentality of having Pro Heroes equate close to actors and artists have switched to thinking of them closer to... well something that’s a combination of fame that artists would get but as well as the sort of authority the police or military have.

But for the average citizen, it was always a treat to see a Pro Hero on patrol, but more so if they see any from Deku’s agency.

The first generation taught by All Might. The ones to reshape hero society from the broken pieces leftover by their predecessors. The heroes of tomorrow, who had to rise on the days where they still had the chance to be children. But they emerged from the ashes stronger, smarter, better, and everything that the previous generation is proud of.

Meanwhile

“MINA! DENKI! GET BACK HERE!” Tenya shouts as he power walks after the two, who wheel through the halls of their agency, nearly knocking over various plants and shake the framed images on the walls.

Ahead of their route, a door opens and out comes Hitoshi and Shouto, paper work in hand as Hitoshi sips his 24th cup of coffee with Shouto holding a cup of hot chocolate as he speaks to the tired man.

“HI HITOSHI! HI SHOUTO!” The troublesome two scream as they zoom by the two, nearly knocking the hot drinks on the pair as they startle back.

“WHAT THE FUCK DENKI,” Hitoshi shouts as the two turn the corner and leave, while Shouto looks down at the fallen marshmallow from his drink.

________________________________________________________________

7:15pm

Deku passes through the busy market. Some people gawk at him, the younger store clerks pay his passing no mind (though a few of the more cynical ones hope a villain attack happens and work’s cancelled until the place is repaired).

Some children try and urge their parents or siblings to take them to talk to Deku. The parent or sibling shushes them by stating that Deku has a job to do and maybe they can ask him when he’s patrolling with another hero.

Another shift in the general public since high school, the public recognizes that Pro Heroes have a job to do when on patrol or when they’re fighting a villain. This is great, since less people are caught in the crossfire of villain fights since they don’t want to get in the way of the heroes.

Deku smiles and waves towards some of the children who stare at him with bright eyes and dreams of heroism.

The children gasp and seem to be sated as Deku continues on.

Meanwhile

Itsuka, Neito, Ochako, and Eijirou carry arms full of snacks and drinks. Ochako guides the floating candies, chocolate, and chips towards their destination. Itsuka and Eijirou carry stacks of pizza boxes while Neito holds bags filled with pop and juice (and maybe some alcohol. What? It’s been a hellish week for them, various sidekicks left to become their own heroes and they had to interview and revive the application of a lot of potential replacements [While, yes, they are proud for their previous sidekicks for going out and spreading their wings, the fact that a lot of them left is what’s making them (Neito) hissy]. And since they lack so much staff, many of them have taken up more shifts than usual. They might need a bit of alcohol).

The four talk amicably with each other about work and general conversation about life. If you’re surprised by this, don’t be. Neito has grown a lot since his years at U.A.. After going through battle with people time and time again, a kinship of sorts is formed that can only be summaries by this: The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.

No matter any of their genetics or history, the blood, sweat, and tears they’ve shed by being heroes bounds them together. It’s what has connected the previous class A together as siblings, and it’s what connects the two previous hero classes together as family.

Bonds like theirs can last even beyond—

“EXCUSE ME!” Denki screams, as he and Mina start to zip towards the four.

Itsuka and Eijirou are pushed back by Ochako and Neito, the latter of whom shouts, “Protect the pizza!”

Nyoom.

The four cautiously step bag from the wall, as Tenya appears with Shouto and Hitoshi following. Tenya shouts something at the duo as a tube of pringles hits Neito in the back of the head.

________________________________________________________________

7:30pm

Izuku often wonders how he can still get into situations like these. He was currently surrounded by several goons, with Quirks ranging from pretty useless to dangerous in the right hands. He hopes that those wielding the Quirks aren’t the right hands.

How he got into this mess? Well, he was entering the emptier section of his patrol route and happened upon the scream of some young girl. Teenager, at most, at the very least, around 9. With the younger age in mind, he stepped up to fight with fury in his veins.

Now he was outnumbers, and no girl in site.

Deku sighs, before he shifts into a battle stance and the energy of his Quirk flares around him.

Meanwhile, a little girl is fighting for her life.

Her skin is burn and scarred by fire and lightning. Her hair as colourful as the fire and sparks that harmed her. White. Blue. Green. Pink. A part of her knew that this odd hair colour combination would cause some heads to turn. Even if people are used to seeing something that stands out as odd as normal, that doesn’t stop a few eyes from pausing to double check. That’s all she needed. She just needed someone see her and realize she might need help.

But that doesn’t matter now, all that mattered is that she complies so her punishment later won’t be as harsh.

Her gaze trembles but then she spots a flash of green lightning her eyes widen.

Deku!

At the mere sight of the hero, the girl has hope once more.

Back at the agency, a small pile of blankets shifts and a small groan muffles through them.

Katsuki turns his seat and sees a few more blankets have fallen off of the pile.

________________________________________________________________

8:30pm

Deku was bruises and cut, but at least now he had a young girl, barely eleven, in his arms. The paramedics were checking her over but the girl would not let the hero go, so he held her as the medics bandaged up her injuries before moving onto his.

The girl then lifted her bandaged palms and a green energy start to emit from them. Everyone stepped back, except Deku who didn’t want to scare the girl still, for fear of what the Quirk could do.

When the glowing stopped, Deku’s cuts and bruises were mostly healed. The paramedics and officers looked to each other with varying degrees of concern.

A Quirk like hers makes her an asset, not just to the villains but the heroes as well. The witnesses know this, and they hope she aims to become a hero or at least a doctor.

Deku stares at her with a child-like glint in his eyes, amazed by her Quirk. It’s not like Recovery Girl’s, which drains one’s energy to heal, but instead uses the energy of the nature around them. He saw how the flower in her hair had wilted to heal his injuries.

In her eyes, he sees the fire to do good. To help. To save. And he knows he’s the one to light it.

After informing the police further and waiting for her parents to pick her up, Deku checked the time.

9:10pm

Crap. Katsuki’s going to kill me.

________________________________________________________________

7:30pm - 8:30pm

The troublesome two zoom pass their various co-workers, with varying levels of reactions.

A few of Ibara’s vines got tangled in the wheels, one got yanked off and the others were snapped short. Pony shouted various swears at the two in English as they left.

They almost caused Rikido, Tetsutetsu, Mezo, and Kouji to drop the sweets Rikido made (one Charge Bolt cupcake fell to the floor, Denki screamed.

“You deserve that!” Tetsutetsu shouts, angered and shaken by the sudden appearance.)

Momo, Setsuna, and Juzo were soon picking up various pieces of their paper work after the two scattered it all. But before that, the three screamed.

Momo shouted as the two left, “HOW DID YOU TWO EVEN GET THAT UP HERE? THE CHAIRS WERE ON THE SECOND FLOOR! HOW DID YOU MAKE IT UP TO THE FIFTH?!”

Upon entering the sixth floor, the two almost crash into Neijire, Tamaki, and Mirio if not for Neijire’s quick thinking. Which was to blast the three of them out of the way with her Quirk.

The other two are confused by the sight.

“Was that... Denki?”

“And Mina?”

Just then, Tenya emerges from the stairwell, panting, “YOU TWO NEED TO STOP THIS AT ONCE BEFORE SOMEONE GETS HURT!” He yells with laboured pants.

Not long after his appearance, various others emerge from behind him or from the elevator next to the three.

Tenya continues the chase and everyone follows.

8:45pm

Katsuki emerges from his office, a mug in his hand and his other arm carrying a sweetly snozzing bundle.

He walks through the halls with the intent to check if the others are preparing to common room yet to watch a movie. Something PG, he told them. But he knew that the little one can handle something higher rated, though the more sexual jokes still go over head.

Skert.

He turns his head to see Denki and Mina zipping towards him. He turns, so they can see the small bundle in his arms.

The chair stopped almost too close for comfort, but it stopped so abruptly and comically that he’ll let it slide for now.

He takes a spit from his cup with an audible slurp and raises an eyebrow to the two. They smile innocently at him. He stares back blankly at the two, their sweat drops fearfully as the tension gets a bit too weird for their liking.

Ding.

The elevator opens and out comes the rest of crew in varying levels of hot mess. Some more mess than others. They glare (or stare disappointingly) at the two, waiting for an explanation.

Waiting.

Seriously you two, you need to own up.

Waiting.

No?

Waiting.

Come on guys before Pony—

A small and puppy-like yawn releases the tension in the hall.

Katsuki smiles and hands Mina his mug so he can readjust for the awaken bundle of chaos in his arms.

“Hey,” He cooes softly, “Wanna watch a movie?”

A small yip answers them before it shifts into soft purr, seems that the little one is still a bit tired.

________________________________________________________________

9:00pm

Everyone was now situated in the common room, everyone snuggled together with various pillows, blankets, and plushies.

A small girl in a Deku onesee sits on Katsuki’s leg, an empty space to the girl’s side.

She looks up to Katsuki, ��Where’s Zu-chan?”

Katsuki lifts his sleeve to glance at his watch, “He should be done with patrol by now, he must’ve gotten distracted saving a kitten from a tree.”

The girl giggles, and shifts to snuggle to his side as the movie starts.

9:20pm

Izuku enters the room as quickly and as quietly as he could and shifts into place almost seamlessly next to Katsuki and the girl in his arms.

“Sorry I’m late,” He mutters to Katsuki, who shakes his head and smiles at him. The little bundle of chaos fast asleep in his arms.

Katsuki nuzzles closer to Izuku, and the two click into place with the girl in Katsuki’s arms as the movie continues to play.

11:05pm

Mina and Denki are buried under a pile of pillows and couch cushions. Neither move for there is a small child on top of pile on top of them giggling her heart out, and they’d rather not see Izuku or Midoriya Inko go full mama bear on them for potentially hurting the small child.

They value their lives thank you very much.

#bnha fluff week 2019 #bnha fluff week #day 1 time // seasons #fluff #kaminari denki #ashido mina #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #fanfiction #fanfic #pro hero #charge bolt #pinky #deku #kacchan #ground zero #boku no hero academia #my hero academia

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96percentdone · 6 years ago

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I wanna talk about a scene. Well, two scenes. This one in chapter 3:

youtube

And this one, in Ouma’s free time events: (Yes it’s fan-translated. In case you stan NISA for whatever reason, and idk why you’d do that, the actual dialogue is not what matters here).

youtube

You might be wondering why I want to talk about these two scenes in particular. The only thing they seem to have in common is Ouma injuring himself, but Ouma isn’t who I want to talk about here. Not really. I want to talk about Saihara.

When it comes to criticizing Saihara, there’s this weird point many people come back to, and its the disparity between these two moments. In the former, Saihara just doesn’t give a shit when Ouma is bleeding out on the floor from a concussion, however in the latter, Saihara rushes to treat a small injury to Ouma’s hand showing great concern. To many people, this reads as a contradiction in writing. Saihara cares about Ouma’s health, but he doesn’t at the same time, and so it’s argued over and over that it’s Bad Writing™.

While I might not go so far as to say otherwise, I do think there is no contradiction here. I do not think the dissonance between these scenes has no explanation, and that’s because of an often ignored (probably because it’s underexplored) facet of Saihara’s personality: Saihara doesn’t like being fucked with.

One of Saihara’s character traits is that he doesn’t like being lied to, or messed with. You can see it in quite a few scenes, be it his internal constant picking apart of Momota’s stories in his FTEs (to the point of you getting the option to sarcastically say he’d be a great writer), to his annoyed thoughts when he notices Ouma is deflecting from admitting he was being helpful. Honestly, quite a lot of his reactions to Ouma showcase this, and this is because Ouma is constantly lying about everything, or looks like he is. This is important.

I bring this trait up because it directly relates to the difference between the first scene and the second. When you watch the first scene, Saihara even looks minorly annoyed that Ouma keeps talking about what just happened, and keeps forcing Ouma to stay on point. And this is because Ouma was just messing with him.

Ouma pushed himself off the floor after looking like he was dead saying it’s a lie, and immediately acts like it was just a joke for attention. In a situation where they really could die, Ouma plays dead, and acts like it was no big deal. And Saihara, who can’t stand being lied to or messed with, decides he just does not care. It doesn’t matter if Ouma is actually injured. To Saihara, he’s gone too far, and so he’s too bothered by that to give a shit. Besides, he’s got bigger things to care about, like the actual murders.

This is not me saying this is the morally correct response to Ouma’s behavior. I am not saying Saihara was right to decide “fuck it I just don’t give a shit.” Nor am I going to say that it was perfectly clear that was why he reacted like that. While I think Saihara’s hatred for lies (and how that evolves) is his most interesting character trait, I think canon tends to downplay it and throw it out of focus by making Saihara overly passive, and also trying too hard to pass him off a good person, and that deeply effects this scene. Because Saihara is so passive, the writers used that as an excuse to not put more effort into showing his annoyance.

But that annoyance is there, and it shows in his reactions. How he ignores Ouma seemingly getting worse, how he forces the conversation to be about his discoveries again, how he doesn’t say something when Ouma stumbles away. It’s just not direct. Not everything is direct.

You might think Saihara can’t hate lies so much because in chapter 5 he easily accepts that Momota’s been lying to him for a while, but this is a result of 1) Momota being his actual friend and 2) his character development. By chapter 5 Saihara has largely overcome his issues with lies and the truth, while in chapter 3 he’s still struggling with both.

It should be obvious why his reaction in the free time event is different now. In that free time event, Saihara is there the entire time. He knows Ouma is not faking the injury for attention because he saw it happen, and he also doesn’t give Ouma the chance to lie and pretend he’s just fucking with him, because he immediately steps to action.

Unlike the first scene, where Ouma is literally pretending to be dead before going “haha I lied,” which is something a lot of people would be angry about, Saihara here has seen the cause of everything. He knows what’s actually going on. Ouma is not messing with him, and therefore, he’s not annoyed enough to not care. The context for Saihara’s perspective in these two scenes is so radically different there is no actual room to compare them as though they’re identical.

There are some contradictory bits in Saihara’s writing. I personally think the line in chapter 4 to Ouma of “You’re alone and always will be” is out of character, mostly because Saihara is too passive to say anything that biting out loud and direct out loud. But these two scenes are not an example of a contradiction, because Saihara’s writing remains the same. He just is in two different positions at the time.

And to really drive this home just in case, no I don’t think Saihara and Harumaki leaving Ouma like that without doing anything was the morally right call. Don’t fucking accuse me of that. Me explaining Saihara’s point of view is not me saying he’s correct for it.

#Saihara Shuuichi #Ouma Kokichi #shuichi saihara #ndrv3 #dangan ronpa #hope.txt #my meta #here we go kids #have fun

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tadakixd-blog · 7 years ago

Text

Hanyu Yuzuru Press Conference 13/2/18

I wanted to sub it but er it seemed a bit weird because the English translation followed immediately after. Mostly I wanted to convey all the nuances that were missed due to lack of time and Yuzu's machine gun talk. So, translation ala the good old text format XD (English questions were not translated)

ahh initially this was supposed to go out 10hrs ago but tumblr wouldn't let me post for some reason...

Organiser: We will start with the Press Con for Hanyu Yuzuru. First off, let's have a comment from Hanyu, and then we will take questions.

Y: Um, even if you ask me to give a comment I don't know what to do but um, whatever it is, umm it's been 3 months since I was injured. I was really only able to watch the competitions... and the days of not being able to skate were long. I went through a very tough period but right now, being able to safely skate at the main Olympic rink like this is something I am very happy about. Umm, it's still a while before the competition starts and well...I don't have any intention of letting my energy go cold so whilst concentrating steadily I want to do the things I can do properly one by one.

Y: Sorry, can I add one more thing? Um, really, when I was injured, it was a painful time for me but really, even after the New Year's, there were many, from many different people, I received so many messages. Right now I am really filled with feelings of gratitude. The competition is not over yet so saying this now might be a little strange but really, thank you very much for all the messages. And, I want to translate the power of those messages into my own performance as well.

O: Next, those who would like to ask questions? Q: I'm Ishi from TBS. "The past and the future, those don't matter" You often say this but, with the 2nd consecutive win on the line, what is pressure to you, Hanyu Yuzuru? Also please tell us your feelings about Pyeongchang as well.

Y: Um... doing it like this.. what is it... being surrounded by so many people and being interviewed.. I think not every skater gets to do something like this. And it's not just the number of people present... this will spread from everyone here to even more people, be it those who watch me through the media and so on, and well there are people here who were in the audience seats as well. In that way... a great many people will be able to see my skating... i'm filled with feelings like that. That may be something you could call pressure but, to me... a competition, after so long...I am able to skate in a competition so conversely I'd like to take in all of that power with everything I have. And also, to the many people who have been waiting to see me, and I think from here on that number will really increase a lot...to those people too I would like to work hard to put up a performance that makes them think "ahh, it's good that I watched him, it's good that I waited for him.

O: Mr Goto Y: Mr Goto...(/n: He's laughing at the way the name is said) asahi news.. Q: I’m Goto from Asahi newspaper. Thank you for your hard work, we have been waiting for you. Y: Thank you for your hard work (t/n: set phrase) Yes.

Q: When were you able to start jumping triples and quads and under what kind of situation was it? And at that point what were you focusing on? For eg the position of your hands or the angle of your feet?

Y: Please give me a moment (fiddles with phone) Y: Um... The things I paid attention to.. I'll talk about that first.. sorry um...(fiddling with phone) Paid attention too...Um, up until i could jump, or rather up until I could even enter the rink to begin with, up till that point it took a really long time so in that time, off ice, be it the form of my jumps or the image of them, things like that, I particularly - the things that I could firm up on I firmed up and paid particular attention to things like that. When I started again on the ice and began to start jumping again, essentially I took that image and migrated it to the ice and did it. That was what it was like. And um.. when I started jumping again...it was.. 1, 2.. triples..triples was..3 weeks...1, 2, 3. The 3A was 3 weeks ago. And then, the quads were...that would make it.. 2 weeks.. 2 weeks... about 2 to 2 and a half weeks ago, from what I remember. Yes."

Q: I'm Suzuki from World Figure Skater. Coach Brian Orser came earlier to korea, so in that time in Toronto, who did you train with and what kind of training did you do?

Y: Umm, there are a lot of coaches in the club so um, first of all... Tracy..coach. With Coach Tracy I practiced my skating skills properly and um, Coach Grishlan was always there with me so with Coach Grishlan things like the form of my jumps, umm, the way of jumping...how do you say it, be it the form or the feeling of it, I practiced with those things as key points.

Q: I'm Reese from Reuters. From what other skaters have said, it seems like many of them have said that after going through struggles they become stronger both mentally and as a skater. What do you, Hanyu, think of that?

Y: Um.. mmm...I don't really have any special feelings about that (becoming stronger after injury), I don't have any special feelings but, there was about a 2 mth period where I couldn't skate, and during that period there were a lot of chances to learn things that I probably would not have had the chance to learn if I was still skating. It's precisely because I couldn't skate that, whether it was things I managed to do off the ice or...what is it...there were alot of things that I was able to think about so in that sense, um, I think those 2 months were not wasted at all. In fact I think that there were again, many things that I was able to learn.

Q: Good afternoon, Yuzuru. Alexandra from the Olympic channel. (Eng Qn not translated)

Y: Yea... (this qn was translated very briefly as first of all, why are there so many people here like this and why do you like winnie so much?) Y: ummmmmm (laughs) Umm.. I don't know how to say... umm...Why is it that way hmm.. In any case, at the Olympics, after winning at the Sochi Olympics, at that time, even those who hadn't normally watched Figure Skating had watched it then I think, so as a result many people began to develop an interest in Figure Skating and have started to watch it, which I think is a good thing. Also, about Pooh.. well um, really, since I was a junior...well, really it was since I was really small but anyway since I was a junior I've always had Winnie as my tissue case and so.. somehow..And then the fans started... throwing alot of them for me... and then somehow...inside my room... became filled with Pooh-san...something like that, yes!

Matsuoka Shuuzo: Hanyu thank you for coming back. Y: Thank you very much

M: Honestly, I too had the same injury so, I'm sorry to say this but I thought it was impossible (for you to come back). But I think, when you faced yourself you must've doubted yourself thinking "this is impossible!". How did you overcome that?

Y: (laughs) What is it hmm...I didn't really think specially about whether or not I'd be able to come back... definitely right after I got injured...umm.. really during NHK trophy I thought that even if I'd have to inject painkillers I'd still turn up but... in the first place I couldn't even move my ankle so it wasn't even about the pain... and so after that 2 months passed and when I started skating again of course there were some things that were quite difficult for me and many times i thought, will this heal? ...but now I am actually skating like this, and mm. I think that is everything. Um, in the past I thought of a lot of things, and yes of course it may have all been about negative things but right now, like this, I am talking in front of so many people, and to top it off it's not bad news, i'm in front of everyone talking about good news, so in any case the things i can do now...Right here in pyeongchang, on the stage that really, I have dreamed of in my dreams, I want to give the performance that I have also, dreamed of in my dreams.

M: I will support you with optimism Y: Thank you very much

Q: Uchida from FujiTV. Thank you for coming back, we have been waiting for you excitedly. Y: Thank you very much

Q: Skating in the main Olympic venue here, what kind of thoughts does it bring up for you and have you had any changes in those thoughts? Also, heading into the Singles, there is still some time left so what adjustments are you planning to make?

Y: Umm well, first of all, well this goes for the main rink too, first of all skating like this on korean ground, and it was like this last year too for 4CC, I thought that it really feels very good. Umm, of course I'm still making adjustments so there are stil many jumps that I haven't done and many elements that I haven't tried, things like that but slowly slowly I...well I have my own plan too so while following that plan, I want to stay flexible (ie play by ear) to create my own peak as i go forward. There is still a finite (lit: measurable) time till the competition so I want to use my time efficiently and align my peak with the Singles competition.

Q: Phillip Hersch of Ice network (this question was translated pretty much verbatim)

Y: Um well for Sochi, first of all, I didn't really weigh myself then so I don't know, but compared to 4 years ago I've improved on my muscle power so I think my weight has also increased a little. Um.. about the loop.. mmm. I don't really have anything to say I think..Well I think having a battle plan is really important and I really have alot of choices I can make, and of course, I have within myself the confidence that if I skate cleanly I'll definitely win. I really think like that. In order to skate cleanly, what should I put in that program...is something that I want to decide on as I continue to improve my condition

Q: Sorry, excuse me. Um, I heard that you started on-ice again about 1 month ago. I think it was a short period of time but during this period what have you been focusing on the most and also what did you struggle the most with?

Y: I was worried especially about my stamina and also, well I wasn't on the ice so I worried about my own feel for the turns (of the jump) and well figure skating isn't something you can do on land so be it the feel for the ice or the feel for skating.. I had worries about things like that. It's just, but, well, skating like this, after 1 month, well I am here right now so, I was able... to have practices where I felt that I could qualify/perform for the olympics so...I don't think there is a problem. Also, things that were difficult... even if you ask me... I don't really have any (while laughing). I have just, singlemindedly done what I've needed to overcome that and... I can't practice beyond what I have already done (literally i have been doing things that have nothing further/no next level) so... not a single...I don't have any sliver of concern. I only, simply, at this place, want to do what I can do.

O: Ok it is time so we will end the conference.

Y: Thank you, thank you (In japanese). Kamsahamnida. Thank you. Merci. Spasiba. Y: (to the translator) Thank you very much, sorry, I was somewhat long winded, thank you.

#yuzuru hanyu #fstranslations #press con #for some reason tumblr wouldn't let me post #but hey i have now haha #happy that nhk finally released an uncut version of his press con!!#also hope with this everyone can understand what he really said better #a lot gets lost in interpretation (very difficult job)#great chance to see the thought he puts into his replies and the relationships with the media #ゆづガンバー！

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