#a long-time friend gathering
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we are about an hour into rare disease day in my timezone! (it's always the last day of february, whether that's the 28th or the 29th.) the true prevalence of mast cell disorders is unknown, as they are often misdiagnosed or ignored. and mast cell activation syndrome, the most prevalent kind of mast cell disorder, only had diagnostic criteria laid out for the first time in 2010. so whether or not it's truly rare is really up in the air!
(personally I suspect it is just aggressively underdiagnosed but I'm not a research scientist or diagnostician right now. and even if it is rare, it's gonna be a lot less so than it was 5 years ago as certain respiratory infections are known to trigger it into visibility. that's what happened to me when I got mono at the end of 2015, further compounded when I got covid in 2022.)
all chronically ill people face a lot of hurdles when it comes to seeking diagnosis, accommodation, and treatment (all of which can be severely complicated by any intersecting marginalities), but rare diseases present a special challenge.
for example, I have an immune disorder. my immune system does not like being alive, my mast cells are way too jumpy and throw a tantrum over every little thing. you'd think an immunologist would be the one to treat me, right?
I've had 6 immunology referrals rejected in the past 9 months alone. multiple major immunology clinics in my major city tied to a major research university outright refuse to see patients with "mcas" written anywhere in their chart.
after 8 years of being debilitatingly ill, and suspecting it was immune mediated for 6, and getting it confirmed beyond a shadow of a doubt by the bone marrow biopsy last month, I will have my second ever appointment with an immunologist. another 2 1/2 months from now. the first immunologist lied to me about the reliability of the one available blood test, when I first came up with the hypothesis by myself 6 years ago, and forced me to abandon my (correct!!! now proven!!!) hypothesis for 3 entire years while we wandered around lost and got nowhere other than even more thorough process of elimination.
okay, well if my immune system is attacking me, maybe it's technically autoimmune? that's the rheumatologists instead of the immunologists, what do they have to say? dick all my dude, I don't have rheumatoid arthritis so they just shrug at me and go "idk, fibro? I don't know why you're here" and send me home with nothing. (I literally had a rheumatologist say to me, verbatim, "I don't know why you're here." buddy it's your job to read the chart and decide if I get seen or not, you tell me. at least he had a snazzy outfit.)
being chronically ill can be a terrible struggle no matter what, but a disease that is perceived as rare, accurate or not, adds a whole new layer of bullshit. (and of course there are much much rarer diseases out there, with even more hoops and dead ends and struggles and all-new layers of bullshit that even I don't have to deal with!)
anyway I'm having a shit time and using this awareness day as an excuse to productively bitch about it 👍
#it is okay to reblog this btw!#I know sometimes ppl get skittish when posts seem personal#(but I also know a wall of text is not Aesthetique™️ which like fair it's your blog yknow?)#kirby#swearing#long post#daily kirby#my art#digital#hal laboratory#nintendo#rare disease day#mcas#mast cell activation disorder#one time my wife took me to a gathering with her (at the time future-)doctor friends#and they were asking me about what I do and stuff and I was like 'oh I'm disabled'#so of course they're like 'oh with what?' basically#so I had to explain that we didn't know#and *why* we didn't know#and they seemed deeply disquieted that it could take even that long to find answers.#(this was coincidentally 6 years ago.)#it's a good lesson for them to learn early.
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I just finished a show and want to start something new and I haven't seen either of these yet, and I also cannot decide on which one, lmao.
#gather all your friends it's poll time#arcane#arcane league of legends#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi#i mean technically i did start a new show#but it's a drama with sixteen hour long episodes#that looks like it's going to be very angst-y#and thus i want something else to watch in between episodes
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on the dance floor. straight up "funrkin' it". and by "it", haha, well. let's justr say. My dismcohorlc.
#iddybittysnail#Discoholic#I had the wackiest dream#I was in an island with both of my pookie bears and one of them taps my shoulder and tells me not to look into the eyes of the baby statue.#I look into the water and glance around noticing a group of them all faced inwards they are placed in a circle#My friend pushes me to grab my attention in case I look into the eyes#It's night time and we were gathered around the campfire#Roasting hotdogs and marshmallows. Out of curiosity I look towards the statues only to glance into the eyes of one and suddenly all the#statues heads snap towards me and my friend who previously warned me hussles us to get away from the statues and into the house#It reminded me of an office building#Long hallways that lead to smaller rooms They were filled with beds closets and such#I look out a window about the time it would be morning and it suddenly snaps into day but it wasn't#It was a barrier a wall on the window#I turn around noticing people walking by#Staring down at me the walls growing eyes and suddenly the outside#When I looked into the eyes my vision would get darker and I felt weaker#Regaining my sight and ground once I looked away I rushed myself into a room to hide into it desperately covering both my eyes and ears#There was another person inside waiting for me to look up at them#Until it snapped dark and everything was normal again I wouldn't dare to look at the statues again and I woke up
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what is going on w my brain
#huge tag rant coming but dw about it#basically. if anyone here has known me on the internet for long enough yous will have gathered that i badly struggle w motivation and#fulfilling goals that i set for myself even if it's for smth i enjoy eg languages#it happens so often but especially over summer where my brain just goes Nope#“i have all this free time to do the thing I've been planning for weeks and i've been so excited about planning but now we have the time i#will be numb and sad and scroll“#i also have huge problems focusing unless every factor is perfectly balanced and even then it's still 50/50#i do have a bad attention span from being chronically online but even if you put me in a blank room w my task i'd be distracted by thoughts#external deadlines are some of the only things that can kick me into gear and i've been fine at uni so far#but i'm scared i'll have another a levels situation where my mental health was so awful i missed every essay deadline for french for 2 years#sometimes by up to a month#the only reason i got away w it is because i had a breakdown in front of my teacher and he was like “yeah take care of yourself the essays#are not that deep just get them in first thing after half term ig“#like that was v kind of him but if i ever have a situation that bad again i will genuinely fail uni cus you can't get away w that#where was i going w this (<- is aware of the irony)#right yeah this week i've experienced the epic highs and lows#highs of really enjoying my downtime and putting active effort into my hobbies instead of my downtime being “scrolling but i don't hate it”#but lows of realising how much time i 'wasted' in my teen years feeling sad and scrolling when i could have been developing skills and#having fun#and yeah i'm having a high rn and genuinely enjoying life but it's making me realise that my default state of being is just 😐#like even when i'm at uni where my mental health is so much better than at home when it's just me home alone or in my room i'm just 😐#not really having fun just existing v passively mindlessly scrolling waiting for the day to be over so i can see my friends in the morning#like not every day has to be amazing but surely there's more to life than just 😐 in 99% of your downtime#like i've struggled for years on how to answer “what do you do in your free time” cus i had to search for answers#i read and go on walks. which is true. but they were always things i did as phone breaks during weekends and not something i actively did#because i liked them#and because of past mental health issues reading and sports based hobbies have become tainted for me#i'm working on it but yeah#huge tldr. i'm finally starting to accept that i probably have a combo of undiagnosed mental illness and neurodivergence#because if it's taken me this long to realise how much it truly impacts my enjoyment of life then surely that's smth
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i need the donkey quotient in my life to rise
#my friend wants us to half-move to her familys ranch on a mountain which is the most sacred place of my life and im thinking about#the donkeys that live there and how much i love spending time with them and how if we do spend longer times i want to learn donkey skills#i want to go gather firewood with them… a long walk in the woods with a donkey… youre kiddingggg
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once again thinking about the post-canon dynamics on DS9
#star trek: ds9#the strange depression and loneliness-induced friendship that springs up unexpectedly between Julian and Quark#which leads to Julian Quark and Kira becoming a more tight knit trio#Julian and Kira's bond really deepening and them spending a lot more time together#I think it'd be strange for Ezri#she's been there with them all these years but it wasn't HER#sometimes when shes with them she feels like theyre seeing a ghost#I dont think she lasts very long on DS9 and I dont think her and Julian's relationship lasts#she stays for a couple years#but once her and Julian agree to end things she leaves within a couple months#Julian Kira and Quark all bonding more with Kassidy#the three of them taking on different nurturing roles with Jake and helping him out#Kassidy finding herself in this single mother role with Jake but having the village of her friends on DS9 to help#and theyre all behind her and helping her when she gives birth#older brother Jake...#I think Julian leaves sometime after Ezri does#he holds on for a while- mainly for Jake and Kassidy and the baby- before he gets a certain letter from Cardassia#and he stalls for a bit but then he goes to visit Cardassia#and when he comes back after a week its just to gather what he needs to go back for a much more permanent position#assisting with the relief efforts wherever he can#maybe Kassidy and Jake and the baby move to Bajor#to that land Sisko bought#when he comes back- whenever that is- home is ready for him and waiting with open arms#Kira and Quark end up being really tight#still up to their old banter and butting heads but theres a new respect there on both sides#both of them will die before they admit it#but they've stayed awake all night at the bar#sharing a bottle between two glasses and talking about who they miss#Kira's the only one who's ever seen how Quark's eyes light up when he hears Rom or Nog is coming to visit#Ezri comes to visit sometimes
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so. i've had an idea for a warrior cats fanfiction story, and have spent the last few years hammering out characters, the clans, how they work, the story... a whole lot of stuff. i've tried writing it before, and right now i don't have a current draft of early chapters, but I did recently write out a scene from much later in the story, and i'm pretty happy with it, soooo... here! a warrior cats fic scene i wrote in like an hour a week ago
By the time she led ShadeClan to the Gathering site, Emberstar felt her anxieties lessen. Her foreleg ached from the effort of the journey, but she kept her head high. Beside her, Acornfall glanced back at their clan, then nodded over to Emberstar. He led the clan down into the Gathering hollow, and Emberstar padded over to the slope up to the leader’s perch. PineClan and CliffClan cats were already quietly milling about in the hollow, and up on the overhang she could see Lakestar and Wolfstar waiting. There was no MoorClan scent among the gathered cats.
Emberstar made her way up the slope she’d seen Gorsestar and Froststar before her traverse. It was a thin path, slowly becoming steeper and steeper as she slunk closer to the overhang, finally reaching the steep, gravelly slope that led up to the leaders’ perch. Down at the base of the cliff, she could see Acornfall joining the other deputies with a polite nod of his head, and Troutfoot was carefully weaving her way through the crowd to meet with the other healers. Emberstar twitched her whiskers when Lakestar and Wolfstar noticed her. She crouched and tensed her back legs and leapt up the slope.
It wasn’t enough to reach the top, but she reached out with her forepaw and sunk her claws into the loose gravel and dug her back paws into the ground to keep from slithering back down. She slowly inched forward, moving a kittenstep at a time, but she kept her eyes fixed on the other leaders, more determined than ashamed of herself. Emberstar forced herself up the slope, but her heart skipped a beat when the gravel under her paw proved too loose to get a good enough grip- so close to the top, too. What a shame she had no other forepaw to lash out and find a grip with.
Emberstar felt herself begin to slide back down the slope, but a pair of jaws grasped her by the scruff and hoisted her up onto the overhang. She clawed at the grass and stumbled a step when let go and turned to meet Wolfstar’s amused gaze. “Careful there, three-paw,” the CliffClan leader gruffly purred. “It’s bad luck to fall at your first Gathering as leader.” She brushed past Emberstar to sit back down next to Lakestar.
With a huff, Emberstar followed her with a shake of her pelt. “I appreciate your help, but I would have been fine on my own. I suppose I owe you now?”
Wolfstar’s whiskers twitched. “Are you saying ShadeClan is now in CliffClan’s debt?”
The young leaders stared at each other, then broke out into amused purrs. Lakestar rolled her eyes and wrapped her tail around her paws. “So, you are ShadeClan’s leader now, Emberstar? Or is it still Emberblaze?”
“It is Emberstar now. I visited the Moon Cavern for my lives only a few sunrises ago.”
“May StarClan light your path as leader, then.” Lakestar stiffly dipped her head. Despite the brusque words, there was genuine respect in her pale eyes.
Wolfstar’s own eyes were still bright with humor. “You’ll be great, I know it. What happened to Froststar, then?”
Emberstar narrowed her eyes and turned her gaze to the gathered cats. “I’ll explain that once the Gathering begins. MoorClan is late tonight.” She surveyed the crowd of cats, peering straight down at the huddled healers. Sitting with her back to her PineClan clanmates, Flarelight was sitting close to Troutfrost. After a moment, she gazed up at the overhang, and her eyes met Emberstar’s. Her eyes grew wide and she stared at her littermate for a long moment until another healer got her attention. Then, as if she’d seen nothing, Flarelight flicked her tail and joined the conversation. Her twitching tail-tip was the only hint that she was distracted. Emberstar blinked. She’d become leader so recently that not even the other healers knew, much less the other clans’ warriors. In the crowd of CliffClan cats, she spotted Sunscorch, sitting with his fur brushing Moonwhisper’s, his eyes wide and his body stiff while he stared at his sister up on the overhang.
Poor Sunscorch, so softhearted under those honed claws and strong limbs- he was likely to take the news of Froststar’s death the hardest. Emberstar held his gaze, blinked slowly, and turned her head to the sky. The moon was nearly overhead, and still MoorClan was absent.
“You ought to start the Gathering now,” Wolfstar growled to Lakestar. “It’s newleaf, after all, and if MoorClan’s late then they’re late.”
“We should wait,” Emberstar sharply mewed. “This is my first Gathering as leader, so it would be disrespectful to me as well as MoorClan if we begin without them. It may anger StarClan as well,” she finished in a murmur, flicking her tail-tip up at the sky. Wolfstar just bushed out her stormy gray fur and huffed.
Lakestar gazed up at the sky. Emberstar looked over at her. For so long, as an apprentice, as a warrior, as the deputy, she’d never dared to be so close to the cold PineClan leader. But now, she was barely a tail-length from the sleek silver tabby, and they sat as equals in standing. Lakestar was likely at less than nine lives and Emberstar was without a right foreleg, but they were equals nonetheless.
She was knocked from her thoughts by Wolfstar headbutting her. The larger cat nearly shoved her off-balance. “Glad to see that we’re both finally up here. I was waiting to see when you’d catch up, three-paw.”
Emberstar licked Wolfstar’s ear. “You know I must take things slower than you.”
“Who’d you pick as deputy?” Wolfstar leaned over the edge to inspect the group of deputies. “Hm- Acornfall?”
“He’s a good warrior. Older than me by four seasons, so I trust his advice and his skill.”
“I thought you would have picked Lavenderflash. Or maybe Darknose, you two always seemed close.”
Emberstar gazed down at Lavenderflash, spotting the pure-black molly quickly- she was almost certain there was obvious fondness in her eyes as she looked at her former apprentice. “Lavenderflash is… young and still training her first apprentice. She is a good, loyal warrior, but not fit to be deputy or eventual leader in my mind. And Darknose…” The tom was sitting at the edge of the crowd, alone. “He is a possibility, but he still mourns his brother even all these moons later, so I don’t know if he would be the best choice.”
Wolfstar made a sniff of approval, then her gaze snapped to the far hill. A yowl rang out, and the three leaders pricked their ears and the cats in the hollow turned to see MoorClan finally arrive, led by Applestar. Emberstar sat stiffly until she spotted Glowflame in the crowd, side-by-side with Orangeclaw. He joined the cats in the hollow with his clan while Applestar broke off to climb up to the overhang, and he seemed to murmur something to Orangeclaw before she angled her ears up at Emberstar. Glowflame looked up and spotted her, and his jaw dropped open. Emberstar couldn’t help but let out a purr of affection for her brother as he gaped in amazement at her.
Applestar greeted the other leaders when he finally joined them, nodding briefly at Emberstar, and hurriedly sat down next to Lakestar, his mottled fur standing up along his spine. The leaders gave the cats in the hollow a few moments to settle down. In that time, Emberstar saw her littermates make their ways through the crowd towards each other. By the time Lakestar threw back her head and yowled to signify the beginning of the Gathering, Flarelight, Sunscorch, and Glowflame sat huddled together with their eyes trained on their sister. Emberstar met their gazes for just a heartbeat and felt the final icicles of her anxiety melt away.
She then turned her head to watch Lakestar as she began to announce her clan’s news for the moon, and reminded herself of what she had to announce when it was her turn. She was ShadeClan’s leader, now. StarClan had approved of her. Emberstar lifted her chin and, with a deep breath, finally settled into her place at the head of her clan.
#woe warrior cats fanfiction be upon ye#my writing#fanfiction#warrior cats#hmmm...#waywardsalt's warrior cats#yeahhhh#anyways a few things abt this related specifically to whats in here#emberstar and wolfstar are not in any kind of relationship theyre just longtime friends n rivals tho at some point wolfstar had a crush#emberstar is meant to be aro/ace and otherwise has no interest in taking a mate at all but she loves her clanmates#glowflame and orangeclaw are mates and sunscorch and moonwhisper are mates idk if flarelight will be in a relationship#the map for this fic (clan territories and camp layouts and moon cavern/gathering spot) is based on a minecraft world i have its v helpful#i have a full alliances list for the living cats at the very beginning of the story but it lacks cats outside the clan bc uhhhh i dont#think there are too many that are present that early and also loners arent usually a big thing its mostly cats passing through#emberstar is mostly dark ginger and black flarelight is mostly just dark ginger sunscorch is gold/yellow and glowflame is yellow and white#all four of them have ice blue eyes and black ear tips i am getting funky with cat designs i do not care. they have teh most unique designs#calling med cats healers bc of. reasons you may know why. and she cats are mollies bc like. why not#emberstar is a tripod cat she is missing a foreleg and she is the primary primary protag she is the most frequent pov#so i have thought a lot abt how she would need to be trained and assessed differently and what she cannot do and how she does warrior dutie#ember flare sun and glow all grew up together but separated into the different clans for Reasons ember stayed in shadeclan bc she was deput#it was also for those Reasons but dw abt it. sunscorch is gay glowflame is bi flarelight is a lesbian#gorsestar and froststar (the previous shadeclan leaders emberstar thinks of) were both mollies and were mates. frost mentored emberstar#its a little bit of nepotism but ember was frost's like. third deputy so its whatever. i picked acornfall as deputy as a placeholder#and bc i couldnt fucking remember anyone else except nobodies in shadeclan but now that i think about it he's actually a good choice#aaaand emberstar is my oldest warrior cats rp character shes been with me a long time- second oldest is sunscorch#emberstar began as emberheart and sunscorch was an edgy murder rogue named sun i roleplayed them in a specific mc server
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(nobody will see this lol)
Some of these won’t count because i just like songs so i will listen to them later and i got them from Sarah (if you see this hi)
#music#:-)#i want to do a thing#idk#random#some of these are questionable as hell#what am i doing with my life#what even are some of these#am i a good music listener yet#what is this actually#listening to all of these because I don’t usually use Spotify#some of these don’t count#actually most of these don’t count#some of these i just saved in there for reasons i don’t know#i gather so many prog friends on here huh#long tags#this was time consuming
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finally settling once and for all... with the evidence laid out plainly.. which of these brother boys is more stinkys ,,,
#also please for the love of gourd do not take this seriously i am joking I do not hold any of these behaviors against my cats I know that#all cats are a little stinky and weird I have had cats all of my life I am not genuinely condemning my cats i am being silly please lol#(some of my goofy cat posts in the past will always get like.. one or two people taking an issue with something incredibly#mundane. like me saying a cat is being rude or somehting and someone being like 'um actually cats cant process the concept of#rudeness. he has no idea he did anything wrong!' ........ yes...... i am aware.. that my cat has the brain of a cat lol#ANYWAY.... polls!!! so excited to have polls.. I will try not to be annoyig but I just love asking random things to the general#public. in friend groups I am always the one asking people to taking surveys. quizzes. making surveys and handing them out. etc.#the rare times I can partially overcome my social anhedonia/inability to socially function properly/etc. is when I'm interviewing people or#socializing specifically in the context of like Information Gathering lol#I love running questionairres and stuff . even about the most mundane pointless topics. there's just soemthing really interesting#about like....... being able to ask people stuff and then look at and analyze the results.#Even though that's an incredibly simple average thing. idk.. my brain loves information even if it's pointless silly information.#I Just Think It's Neat. I have so so sos os oso many ideas but I wanted to make the first poll about my cats#of course because I'm also obsessed with them lol. I was thinking of taking some of the pictures of them in front of a blank#canvas and doing a poll of 'what are they painting?' or 'what should they paint?' but I decided to go with babey crimes#for now. inspired by various baby crimes committed just this morning. Fresh on my mind..#I wish they had a middle option though between '1 day' and '1 week'. I think a week is too long for a poll like this but also#one day is not long enough because I dont really have THAT many active followers. if it was just a day it would probably reach like 5 poepl#people. I want to at least be able to reblog it a few times maybe. lol#I think 3-4 days would be ideal. Its a new feature though. I'm sure they'll modify things as time goes on.#Still feeling sick and bad and weird and not being that productive at all generally but... I have just enough energy stores..#using up every ounce of my power to make a goofy poll... a worthy sacrifice....
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had an enlightening conversation with my cousin about my goals and ideology in life. what did this lead to? inner cowboy and inner sailor fighting each other for my future geographical home area (sea vs land) and then making out sloppy style as they both realise they share the desire to explore and live simply and go with the flow and love the world and seek out their desires and
#being more serious the character of “the cowboy” has always stuck with me even as a child#my whole discord was cowboy themed at one point years ago#not saying that im ready to go and live my life out as a cowboy#but that there is a lot about that “character” of living on the land#exploring the world on horseback#fishing and hunting and gathering your own resources#maybe owning a homestead that provides for you as long as you provide for it#joining up with friends and just having a grand time watching the sun set over the valley#playing the harmonica and guitar and banjo and spoons and whistling along#having clothes that arent necessarily the most fashionable but they work and can be repaired and are strong#with fashion still being a part of the outfit#neutral and earthy tones#rugged. useful. handmade#same goes for “the sailor”#working together as a team to get forward in life#(ive always preferred teamwork over individual competition)#music being a core part of that work in shanties (UGH SHANTIES. love me a good call and response)#but these thoughts are more “ideals” than “i literally want to be one right now down to everything they do” obv#all this yammering to say that i hold the Cowboy and Sailor very close to my heart.#(despite this blog being called parchmentknight ummmmmm dont mind that. it just sounded cool ok)#cowboysona and sailorsona when#rivera writes#rivera lore
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made a sorta 1970's hogwarts school timetable in word. please tell me if you have any clubs or such you think they'd have
#the tutoring is just like. booked rooms in the library for school assigned tutoring. so like tutors will have their tutees at that time.#james' club is literally just him going for runs in the mornings and trying to drag his friends along#disco club was only a club during the 70s and a little into the 80s. mary macdonald started it.#<- it's literally just a school approved way to party. they get the great hall. play disco music and dance.#the dynamis club is one of those weird prestigious clubs (like slug club by run by students)#<- it's basically just a gathering of the rich purebloods. started by the black family a long time ago. sirius was invited but refused#the mods club and rockers club are just mods and rockers. they have the same time to annoy each other#muggle sports club is like. where they do a different muggle sport every week. lily and james are both in it and bond a lot because of it.#marauders era#marauders#hogwarts
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he is not amused.....
#barry steakfries#jetpack joyride#sketch#barry after you call him barreth for the 50th time and he's past the point of embarrassment and is now just grumpy about it#i'm in love with the fact his name's comically long and ridiculous#fuckin barreth mcsteakington friesenhausen.#one of the characters in AOZ has a ridiculous name as well (miss rubenstein sexypants) so i'm happy they kept that going in the vlog#i feel like he dreads going to family gatherings specifically because of that name because it's embarrassing#and he just has to put up with it for a night and a half#also i like to think craig would lightly tease him about it if he found out what his whole name is#he'd think it's actually kind of a cute name but also make fun of barry for it because it's funny seeing him get embarrassed#also speaking of that episode of the vlog: as an queenslander barry's mum is incredibly accurate to how quite a few people here are like#like her story about her friend getting hit by a bus after using the internet feels like something i'd hear a weird aunt or neighbour say#i think most of halfbrick's fans aren't australian so i find it really funny when people call barry british or get confused at certain term#and i have seen some people call barry british before and i feel this mixture of amusement and confusion about it#because 1. that's just really funny that people tend to immediately assume that pronouncing stuff like tomato as “tomahhto” = british#but also 2. have you even heard a british person. i assure you they often don't sound like us australians#especially with the many different variations in their accents depending on what area they come from#anyway.... barry grumpy :3#i like how i always end up going on long tangents in the tags about random loosely related shit#it's the autism brain going off
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statewide work conference destroyed my faith in humanity and then the bus ride home with my coworkers restored it. 💕💕
#literally spent the whole day half-dissociated and overstimulated and despondent#and then we ride back and literally the WHOLE BUS (kindly) bullies me into getting a smoothie when we stopped for gas#and i have some great convos about interpretation with my coworker#AND i have a super long and detailed conversation with the president of our friends group#about how i’m apparently a natural-born People-Influencing Person who should leverage those skills going forward#and how she’s working on a push to try to get better pay and job security for positions like mine and can use my help#in gathering testimonies and getting people organized#and like. !!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!#(the fact that i was twisted around like a pretzel to talk to her the entire time and felt MASSIVELY carsick afterwards is beside the point#it was literally just so good… i am full of love#i truly love and appreciate my coworkers so much it is UNREAL#i have to make cards for them or something…#they deserve the world and then some
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So, I’m pretty sure my oldest sister (the slightly insane, unmarried one), is having an affair with a married man. She calls him her best friend, but it seems kind of sketchy since he’s recently married and a new father. At the very least, she’s spending a whole lot of time with him when he probably should be home with his family.
And ever since this started, all I can think of is that one scene from Gilmore Girls when Rory tells Lorelei she’s sleeping with Dean. And Lorelei says in horror and disbelief, “you’re the other woman”.
Anyway, I feel much better after getting that off my chest in front of a bunch of people I’ve never met.
#personal#family#she’s just constantly making poor life choices#and he’s not a long time friend#somehow that would feel different#she’s also left her church and gym over him#from what we can gather
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i’m in full ‘i should text her’ mode help what do i do
#what do you do when 'she' isn't any kind of ex-lover she's your best friend from college who you haven't spoken to in at least 1-2 years#and it's probably your fault the convo died but it's been so long you're scared that it's too late to reach out and reconnect#but you would love to you dream about it all the time... you want to teach her minecraft the way she suggested so you can stay connected#(why were you too scared to accept the request? what's wrong with you?)#you cling to your memories of her from your early college years and the easy closeness the two of you had#she had this sense of calm and stability that perfectly balanced your neurotic anxiety and pushed you out of your comfort zone#and you always got the sense that she enjoyed your company as well... she somehow liked you for your flaws#(we used to say 'hi how are you!' in passing in the hallway and i would say 'tired' or something else honest like that and she liked that!!#i think that's part of why we became friends!#i loved her in some sense of the word... if it was romantic it was hopeless bc she was straight but i also loved her in the close friend way#i am so sorry feel free to ignore this but i am splintering apart#what i'm gathering from this is that i need to draft a message....#extend the olive branch give her my discord ask if it's not too late to keep the bridge between us from crumbling#someone please hold me to this#i have the dream again i have the dream again etc.
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