#a little bit because i cant help myself

[butadailovehim]

i absolutely adore how much fun orlando bloom is having in lotr movies. he's 22 years old. he landed one of the major sexy roles in the movie. he has a crush on his hot older scene partner (viggo). he's giggling like a school girl but he also films badass scenes, and they gave him a fairytale horse and he gives him kisses. he has a pretty wig.

[larrythefloridaman]

WOAH, HE'S BIGENDER? I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!

[sieglinde-freud]

thinking about them and banging my head against the wall again whats new. they are making me so emo. god. what the fuck

[my-mom-named-me-duck]

idk why but I fucking love the sleepy energetic feeling you get when you're forcing yourself to stay awake with caffeine

its just kinda nice

I feel calm

I can actually think

this feeling is why I have an energy drink addiction

it's literally a drug

it just feels nice

just sitting here on my computer with my music playing on low volume alone with my thoughts no anxiety about getting into fights with anyone because they're all asleep

i just feel so safe at night because I know I'm alone and I don't have to worry about people I don't listen for footsteps I don't get startled by hearing doors open I don't jump when I hear people talking because none of that is happening and if it does happen I know its just someone getting water or using the bathroom and they're not going to bother me

i don't have to worry

if I do want to talk to people I can talk to people over the internet

its just so nice man

i don't want my late night safety times to end but they always do when I see the sun light come underneath my curtains and I hear grandpa get up for work and that's when I go to sleep

i wake up in the afternoon eat a small breakfast grab an energy drink sit in my room and wait for everyone to go to sleep

this is the only time I'm not in fight or flight and it feels like a weight is lifted

god I'm being weird sorry

ill shut up now

[bitegore]

getting mental healthcare is really cool, its like asking someone to take a sledgehammer to your self-interest and then saying thank you after because it makes your life moderately easier even though you have to deal with this shit now

[todayisafridaynight]

Since you mentioned it, what did you think of Speak No Evil? I was thinking of watching it myself :0

i really liked it ............ my friend scoffed at me when i told her i was watchin it so take my opinion with a grain of salt tho </3

[voidimp]

maybe now that i have adhd meds i can attempt Language again

[sentofight]

ooc. u know since i started teaching i think my grammar is getting..........tiny..........tiny...weeensyyyyyy eaaannyyyy better. i know how grammar works but then i write my brain: *slides arabic structure here because it can* and then you have arabizi*

[zoppzoop]

GAAHAHHHHH

[clownpassing]

i wish i had a more normal social upbringing because making new friends and exploring fwb situations is like what do you mean you have a life outside of me? what do you mean i am not your #1 priority? what do you mean we aren't hopelessly codependent on each other?

[mudstoneabyss]

so much of my blogging whenever I have classes is complaining about them but erm. in my defense they're stressful and overwhelming

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[dog-girl-zezora]

normal people should not ask me any personal questions i will literally respond in the most insane way possible like i cant just be like "oh thats personal" hell no im about to make it your problem for asking you FUCKING IDIOT.

[slowmo-yo-yo]

IM THE KING OF NICHE PAIRINGS😋😋☝️

what’s the most niche/lame/embarrassing thing you’ve ever read fanfiction for. looking things up as a joke or for morbid curiosity doesn’t count i mean like intentionally just searching up and reading for personal enjoyment

[snow-and-saltea]

it is a bit scary but ive been in the limbo between not allowing myself to do anything until i get my shit together for too long, which means i havent been "indulging" in anything i really like but only things i've cycled through routine to the point of tastelessness. i am somehow so adamantly resistant against escapism through hobbies or from making myself feel better but also very cowardly in the sense that i'm too afraid of looking at my problems in the eye because my bad mental health bars me from being honest and hopeful (to inspire myself to fix it) to myself because every time i try, i can only hear the "brutal" part of the "brutally honest", and i don't even know if i'm being honest because it's as though i go into this dialogue against myself with an intent to kick myself down. which, i do understand why it happens, but i currently have no energy to "fight" back against it so i just go "yeah. you're right. i AM trash and worthless. i already know this, can we stop bringing this up please?" perhaps from an outsider pov or through a friend's pov i am seen differently, but imagining myself being seen in a positive manner somehow feels delusional because i "know" i'm not being very umm. valuable. i guess skhdjshfjdjf there's definitely stuff going on there

[stargazing-and-peoplewatching]

listening to never love an anchor is not a sign of good mental health