#a letter to you

[tarotwithavi]

A channeled letter from a loved one for whoever needs it 💌

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My Dear sunshine,

I just wanted to reach out and tell you how proud I am of you. Every step you’ve taken, every decision you’ve made, it’s been inspiring to watch. I know it's not always been easy, and there have been so many voices trying to pull you down, but I see your strength, your determination, and I want you to know that you are on the right path.

Remember those moments when people told you that you shouldn't do it or that you couldn't? Those words weren’t a reflection of your abilities or your potential. They were shadows of their own insecurities, their own fears of stepping out of the comfort zone. They projected their limitations onto you because they couldn’t fathom the courage and vision you have. But you saw beyond that. You’ve always had this incredible ability to look past the noise and focus on what truly matters to you.

You've faced so many challenges head-on, never backing down even when the odds seemed insurmountable. It takes a special kind of person to keep going, to keep believing in themselves when the world tries to shake that belief. You are that special person.

You have this remarkable gift of turning doubt into determination. For every person who said "you can't," you’ve shown them "I can." And not just shown them, but proved it in ways that leave no room for doubt. You’ve paved your own way, built your own path, and in doing so, you’ve become a beacon of hope and inspiration for so many others, including me.

The path you’re on is not just the right one; it’s the one that’s meant for you. It’s the path that will lead you to places beyond your wildest dreams, and I’m so excited to see where it takes you. Your journey is a testament to your courage, your resilience, and your unwavering belief in yourself. Never let anyone dim that light.

Please remember, no matter what anyone says, no matter how tough things get, you are exactly where you need to be. Trust in yourself, trust in your journey. You have everything it takes to achieve your dreams and more. Keep pushing forward, keep believing in yourself, because I believe in you with all my heart.

With all my love,

[smtown-tourist]

A Letter to You - Year 7:

To our SHINiest angel,

It's been seven years since you passed. How sad, some might say, that we've now had to go seven years without you; unlucky that we lost you at such a young age. But the number seven is believed to be lucky, so how can this anniversary possibly be a sad one, an unlucky one?

I don't believe that it is. I think the fact that this is your seventh anniversary has granted us and your members with an abundance of luck. That is why I've decided that the theme of this year's letter will be luck. I will share with you the ways in which SHINee, your members, and SHINee World have been lucky this year.

How was SHINee lucky this year?

I'll start as I always do with talking about your group. In coordination with it being your seventh anniversary, I've chosen photos from SHINee's own seventh year - 2015. That was the year that SHINee became one of the groups to beat the dreaded Seven Year Curse, and it was also the year that your group made their comeback with the title song, View. SHINee was lucky to have you that year because View might not have succeeded and become the beloved song that it is now had you not changed the lyrics for it. With this coming year to become the tenth anniversary since that comeback, I have a feeling we're in for a real treat.

As for this current year, SHINee's luck centers less around the group as a whole and more so for the members as individuals. Each of your members have made a solo comeback this year. It's kind of ironic when you think about the fact that 2015 also marks the year of when you became a soloist. Seven years after you made your group debut, you made your solo debut, and during the year that marks the seventh year since your death, all of your group members release solo albums of their own. Are any of them aware of that connection? We'll never know - it could simply be a coincidence - but I like to think that there is some work of Fate at play. After all, your members are continuing on in your name and memory. Being the solo artists that you only got to be for a short amount of time is just another way of doing so.

Yet, SHINee does have one piece of group luck this year. To honor their 16 years of being together, SHINee decided to finally tie the knot. No, I don't mean literally. It's just the running joke that's been circling the fandom ever since SHINee decided to get matching group rings. That's right - your members, and you as well, all have matching rings that symbolize the bond and commitment you've had to one another since your formation, rings that they sometimes have a tendency to wear on their ring fingers as if they truly are married to one another. Did you think they would've forgotten to get you one or not cared to do so? You should know your members better than that. With every fiber of their being, your members want to stay connected to you in whatever way possible. You are always in their hearts and now you are bond to them spiritually as much as you were to them physically when you were still alive.

Just so you know, your husbands have been flaunting their rings every chance they get with the biggest, happiest smiles on their faces. You once bought yourself a pair of couple's rings because you were so infatuated with the idea of being committed to someone that you couldn't help yourself. You even wore both at times. There's no doubt in my mind you would've been right there with your members, flaunting your ring for all to see. You probably would've made a cheesy marriage announcement on Blue Night, teasing your listeners only to reveal that it's SHINee you're now married to. I can already imagine the field day you would've had with the SHINee is Married to Each Other running joke inside the fandom. You would've definitely taken immense enjoyment out of teasing the Shawols that you get to be married to the other SHINee members and they don't. I could even see you grabbing one of the other members and telling the Shawols to back off because they're your man. Oh, how I wish you could be around for this part of SHINee's history.

How was Onew lucky this year?

Other than making an amazing solo comeback this year like all the rest of your members, he also managed to break free of SM (as a solo artist). Onew is now signed under GRIFFIN Entertainment, an agency founded by one of his close friends, which allowed him the honor of being the first artist to be signed under the new company.

This new beginning has allowed for Onew to branch outside his comfort zone and try new things, such as rapping. It makes me wonder if you knew that this was a skill Onew had been hiding from us all these years. You yourself were a main vocalist that had hidden rapping talents, so I'm sure that you did. Perhaps it was your own courage to branch outside your designated role in the group and try rapping for a change that gave Onew the courage to do the same.

Signing with GRIFFIN Entertainment was also the moment that finally brought Onew out of Hiatus. In a roundabout sort of way, it can be seen as lucky that Onew put himself on Hiatus to begin with because that time spent healing allowed him to make that decision to leave SM in the first place. There were sacrifices he had to make, like missing out of SHINee's Hard Comeback and all but one of SHINee World 6's concerts, but in the end I feel as if they were worth it. I believe you would've seen them as worth it as well since Onew is so much happier promoting as a solo artist through GRIFFIN Entertainment.

How was Key lucky this year?

Most of Key's luck revolves around his solo career and it comes in twos, kind of like how you two always came as a pair. I'll start with the fact that Key made two solo comebacks this year. The first was a Japanese comeback with the single, Tongue Tied. Though the song and cinematography of the music video are very much Key, I can see elements of you in them as well. It has a very heavy bass sound, and as we all know, that was the instrument that you used to play back in your high school days. The chorus is also very falsetto-heavy, which I think you would've enjoyed since you were the king of falsetto.

The other comeback was a Korean comeback (of course) - a mini-album titled, Pleasure Shop. The thing that I want to highlight with this comeback has nothing to do with the actual music from it, though Key knocked it out of the park as always. There was a unique feature from this album, a version of it that contained a martini glass (I know - so very Key). What Key ended up using his copy of the martini glass for wasn't to drink out of like you would've expected. He uses it to store his SHINee rings and the one he got from you. I know I'm not the only Shawol that was brought to tears seeing that ring among the others in the photo he posted of his Pleasure Shop glass. I'm sure it brings you a lot of joy to know that Key still treasures that last birthday present you gave him and it might even bring you to tears to know that he cares for it in the same manner that he does his SHINee rings. You were his best friend, his soulmate - of course he treasures that last piece of you.

The second way in which Key was lucky this year was that he got not one but two solo concerts: an original and then an extension, an Encore concert tour. Both allowed for him to travel across Asia and perform in countries he'd never gotten to do so in as a solo artist. I know you would've been proud of him, especially since both concerts incorporated live bands. You were the first SHINee member to ever have a concert featuring a live band for a majority of the show. Thus this builds another connection that you two now have with each other. Perhaps you were even the one who inspired Key to have a concert such as that. I'm sure you would've greatly approved of Key's choice and maybe even have written him a brand new song that would've utilized the live band to its fullest.

How was Minho lucky this year?

The most important is that Minho got to hold his first ever Solo Concert this year. Now, once again because of Minho, all of the SHINee members have had their own solo concerts. It's a feat that no other group can say they have done, just as SHINee was the first group to ever have all of its members make solo debuts, something that Minho makes sure to remind people of. You were a part of the reason why that is an honor that SHINee holds. That's why I feel this picture of the two of you after you won during you own solo debut promotions is the perfect choice for Minho's section of the letter. Your ambitions as an artist have propelled Minho farther than you will ever know. This can be seen with the fact that for his first solo concert, Minho picked to perform View, a song in which he has never failed to honor you during as he looks up at the sky during your lines and blows you a kiss. As long as Minho is around, you will never be forgotten and you will never stop being loved.

As important as it was that Minho got to hold his first ever solo concert, that concert wouldn't have happened this year had it not been for the fact that he also made a solo comeback. It was with this comeback that SHINee was able to claim the title of all members having a full-length solo album. So now, not only have all of the SHINee members had solo debuts but they also have all had a solo concert and released a full-length solo album. Yet another way in which the five of you will forever be tied.

After the release of this album, I found a connection that tied your group's full length solo album releases together. Minho's title song is called Call Back while the title song for Taemin's first full-length solo album, which, as you know, also happened to be the first of the SHINee members' full-length solo albums to be released, is called Press Your Number. The connection starts with the fact that Taemin's song is about calling your loved one but it fails to reach them while Minho's song is about calling your loved one back. Both of their songs, in short, are about calling a loved one but it's the fact that Minho, who was the last SHINee member to release a full-length album, had a song about calling your loved one back that makes it feel as if those two albums are connected. How lucky is it that Minho found a way of bringing SHINee's first full-length solo albums back full circle? Like a loop forever connecting all of them.

How was Taemin lucky this year?

Taemin's luck is like all three of the others' combined. Like Onew, Taemin was able to escape SM and sign onto Big Planet Made Entertainment as a solo artist. This change has allowed him the creative freedom that he's always wanted, the ownership of his own solo career, thus bringing me to reason number two.

Like Key (and Onho), Taemin made a solo comeback with his album, Eternal. This album had duel title tracks: Sexy in the Air and Horizon, the latter which he helped create. I believe wholeheartedly that you are the reason for Taemin wanting to take that leap and sign with a new company that would give him creative freedom. His solo career at SM, as you probably well know, was heavily controlled by the company. You, on the other hand, never allowed SM to dirty your solo career with their hands. Right out the gate, you advocated for your albums to only contain pieces you wrote, something that is still unheard of. You took charge, you put your body and soul into every aspect of your solo career, and its because of that that your solo artistry lives on in history. Taemin has benefited from the example you set, even if it is too late for you to see the results of that.

Like Minho, one of the biggest aspects of Taemin's luck this year is his first solo concert tour with Big Planet Made. Taemin's concerts, as you well know since you attended his very first ever, have always been spectacular but with this one, you can really see his newfound creative freedom coming to life. It's breathtaking, simply out of this world, and I look forward to seeing it in-person myself this coming February. Yep, that's right - Taemin has achieved his life-long goal of a solo world tour. I bet you're crying right now, aren't you? So unbelievably proud and happy for your maknae. I'll be cheering extra hard just for you at his Chicago concert.

In his own personal experience of luck this year that differs from the other members', Taemin accomplished two things that have since made everyone well aware of why he's known as the Idol's Idol. First, he became a host on Mnet's idol survival show, Road to Kingdom: Ace of Ace. I know, right?! Introverted Taeminnie - a host of a show! Can you believe it? All of the Idols on the show were worshiping the ground he walked on. It was so cute and funny to watch. You would've been proud of seeing Taemin surrounded by so many fanboys since you yourself were always giddy whenever you had a fanboy of your own. Though, you probably would've made sure to remind everybody who the president of the Taemin Fanboy Club was.

Lastly, at the KGMAs, Taemin received three awards, the most of any solo artist that attended that year. His performance at the award shows was the moment that really had people realizing that Taemin is the best solo artist K-pop has ever seen. He stole the show, to put it simply. I don't think anyone in the industry can claim that Taemin is tone-deaf anymore after that performance. As SHINee's main vocalist, he would've made you proud with the unbelievable power of his live vocals, and it's thanks to you and the example you set that he's able to sing as well as he can. I'm sure that's why you had no problems leaving SHINee because you knew that your main vocalist role would be in good hands once you left.

How was SHINee World lucky this year?

We, the Shawols, have been lucky in so many ways this year it's hard to fathom. So many concerts, so many fan events, so many solo comebacks. We got our Dubu Leader back. We know that OnTae are in good hands now. We got Waterbomb versions of Onew (yeah, I know!), Minho, and Taemin. I'm sure that, had you been around, you would've been one of the first SHINee members to sign up for Waterbomb since you not only had a fondness for shirtless performances but water-based ones as well. I'm already sweating thinking about Waterbomb versions of your She Is tracks. That album's songs were practically made to be performed at Waterbomb.

In most recent events, SHINee World has been lucky to have experienced the example you set of standing up for what you believe to be right. During the protests for which called to have president Yoon Suk Yeol impeached after his declaration of martial law, K-pop fans of all different fandoms came together to wave their lightsticks. The brightest were those belonging to SHINee World. So many pockets of Pearl Aqua Light in the crowd, and it's thanks to you that SHINee World was raised so well. You stood up against injustice at a time when no other idol would. That example is the reason why Shawols, young and old, male and female, joined together to protest the injustice of martial law being enacted and the impeachment of the president that declared it. Your bravery and righteousness has left a lasting impact on SHINee World and we are so lucky of that. Even if you couldn't be there in-person with SHINee World at that moment, your presence was still felt, and in an act that would've made you even more proud than seeing SHINee World protesting, SHINee's infamous fandom-uniting anthem, Ring Ding Dong, was played during the protest itself. If that doesn't showcase the legacy you've left behind, then I don't know what does.

Overall, your birthday this year was the luckiest day of all. Why? Because a solar eclipse happened on that day. As if celebrating your birthday every year isn't enough of a treat, getting to do so during a solar eclipse made it even better. We all fondly recounted the special connection you always had with the moon. That connection felt stronger during that solar eclipse than it ever had while you were alive. It felt as if you were making a special appearance on your birthday and being you, it could only happen in the most dramatic way possible. Delusional to think, I know, but that connection you made between yourself and the moon through your fondness for it has kept so many of us Shawols alive - literally. It's given us something to talk to when nobody else wants to listen. It's a presence at night that helps lull us to sleep knowing that we have someone there that's watching over all of us and we're not as alone as we might think. It's a reminder that though you are gone, your memory and spirit still lives on. We're lucky that we get to experience that connection every night when the moon is in the sky, but this year, we were lucky enough to experience that connection during the day, too, and on your birthday no less. The fact that the solar eclipse just so happen to fall on your birthday this year was lucky in and of itself.

Seven years have passed and more will follow, but don't think that its only on the seventh year of your passing that SHINee, your members, and SHINee World have been blessed with luck. We were lucky the moment we found you. We were lucky the moment that you were born because none of our lives would be the same had you not been a part of them in some way. And you, Jonghyun, our SHINiest angel, are also lucky because it's thanks to your own luck that You Did Well.

[trustonlystars]

Things I really wanted to tell you;

I miss you, and I am not saying this because I miss having you around, or for the reasons that I miss making love to you, of course I do but I miss you in a way where I miss having conversations with you. You know I became this extremely talkative person around you, because you've always been so comfortable to me. I really miss that, and I know you do too because the way we shared our life with each other was not something we shared with anyone else. At times I get so selfish and make it all about how I am hurting, I have always been focused and presumed that I am the one who's hurting more. You're probably keeping yourself busy and that's how you're avoiding facing the void but I'm sure there are days when you really need me too, and I am sorry love for not being able to share that moment with you. I am sorry that life turned out to give this twist to our story and I don't know what's ahead but for the first time this feeling of it being wrong is not seeming to fade away. I've tried everything and I don't want to reshape the strings we've drawn to each other and we both know that not talking probably doesn't help the feelings off. In fact I think we are always talking to each other in our thoughts, and there's always going to be a place where we are together. We've known and taught each other to remain sane by remaining connected in our thoughts and that's still there. I can still feel and sometimes I have to stop thinking about you so it doesn't bother you. But you know I'll be right here when you need me. And somedays are really too much, like I don't know why but ever since I've heard you laugh on the call. I didnt even realise how much I missed that sound, your voice is one thing but baby the sound of your laugh is just so therapeutic and I'm not going to sing songs of comparisons. I know there won't be anyone else who will find that peace in it, but I still wish for you to find someone who helps you define love in even better language. If we were magic I want something blissful to happen to you. I am this close for the universe to turn around and tell me we can be, I am this close, so very close sitting with faith an inch away from the final word. I am going places but my heart is seated just there waiting for the universe to accept my plea and say the word, these silent asks have taken all my heart and I am here waiting for life to happen. Because this right now is okay, but it doesn't feel of what's between us. I could stop talking to you but I'm with you in my thoughts and I'm either missing you or either wishing well for you. I'll be right here when you need me and I am just waiting for the universe to align stories and sequences in your life so you could be at a place where you would want to have love and keep it, where you get to a point where you finally start asking for the things and people that you really want in your life. I hope things get easier for you love, I really wish that for you, that everything, every single thing that you put your heart on comes easier to you, with no efforts. If my stars are listening, that's what I want for you, if our stars are listening I want every single thing that you put your heart on to come to you in magical ways with no effort. I want that kind of life to come to you, and I believe you deserve all of it and so much more. I want you to open your heart and seek life the way it seeks you.

- trustonlystars

[tobbi-loves-levi]

Literally, my favorite part of that chapter actually <yes that chapter is written> @sixpennydame

[punkglamwham]

*knocking on door of tumblr*

May I come in?

*sits by you on the comfiest safest couch and gives you the biggest protective big sister hug I can give and offers cookies and a cup of tea or whatever is your favorite drink and takes hand*

How are you?

I saw what happened.

And it’s perfectly fine to be scared and upset about what happened.

It’s ok to cry and scream.

it’s ok to be angry it’s okay to get sick

it’s okay to hide in your bed for a while

Don’t let your demons take over because that’s what they want.

Do not harm yourself sweethearts.

*wipes away your tears and offers you a plushie version of your favorite animal*

Shhh..it’s going to be alright no matter what.

Please Take a few deep breaths

In through your nose and out through your mouth repeat as necessary.

May I offer this gentle reminder?

you are safe in the world that is made by your favorite things.

No one can ever take away that magic or erase that joy of your heart.

So Put on your favorite movies and escape the world.

Read all those fanfics that made you feel like love is stronger than anything

Rewatch a good episode doctor who or star trek or a episode of looney tunes.

Grab a pen and write your feelings down,

history will want to know your feelings and thoughts when everything is In happier times again.

Listen to your favorite songs and sing your heart out.

Take time away if you need

Did you know that the same stars that you looked at and wished on as a child are same ones that shine in the sky now?

It’s true and always know that you are loved

Be kind and brave little soldiers

Love

Chey.

[acesgarden]

✿ Iris - Your Friendship Means so Much to Me

🫶💯❣️

I accidentally clicked on the kast two emojis but why do they kinda work

Not me writing this while work is slow literally no body is here 💀 ooo but those do workkkk. (Then I finished this a while later lolol)

Dear Lori,

I think i’ve said it enough times already ahaha but genuinely, you are not only one of my favorite mutuals, but one of my favorite people on this app. You’re so fun to talk to and your writing is just beautiful (yes, I read most of your writing without you knowing 🤭.)

I love the way you support and love my ocs and whatever I create with them. It makes me happy knowing they’re appreciated, I don’t get to share them often with people. I love the way you support others work too.

And seeing you grow and growing with you has been so fun and amazing to experience. I can’t wait to see where you go this year and the next and hopefully beyond that from my side of the screen. I hope somewhere, sometime, somehow in the future I'll stumble upon your first book or books, and that I'll get to enjoy them. I hope you get to succeed as an author and get an amazing group of readers to cherish your works.

Thank you for reaching out and becoming my mutual.

Yours truly,

Ace <3

[namzii-rocks-grief]

Dear "Tesco" John,

I'm so sorry for your loss, lad. My sincerest condolences at this awful time. The loss of a loved one is hard to process, especially when they choose it. And she gave you no reason to be concerned about her wellbeing beforehand, so it must be a massive shock to your system. She was 3 months pregnant with your child, too. And you were the unfortunate one who discovered her hanging. That is an absolute head-fuck, that, mate.

After my "bestie" killed herself last year, I can only imagine how you must be feeling. She hung herself, too, but I was, fortunate, I suppose, that I knew her mental state and the risk she posed to herself. It was her 4th attempt, after all. But when it comes out of the blue like this, it's baffling, to say the least.

All these feelings & thoughts that make us feel uncomfortable & uneasy are crashing against our soul, grinding against our beliefs. We must ride this tide of uncertainty without restraints. A struggle we didn't choose to partake in yet here we are; drowning in an ocean of sorrow and despair, drifting down a fast-flowing river of grief towards a rocky, death-defying, unforgiving waterfall.

Sadness. Anger. Fear. Relief. Guilt. Shame. Denial. Indifference. Abandonment. Envy. Failure.

You're gonna block all that out, though, aren't you? You're gonna hide away from your emotions and suppress how you feel, right? You can not process how you feel, so you will numb your pain.

And so the pattern continues...

When I saw you earlier, you were standing outside Tesco with a can of beer in your hand. You're wearing your brave face. I saw your lip quiver when I asked you about what happened to her. I read in the local news about it; the local friendly, homeless drunk had passed away, but the report surrounding her death was very vague. A 35 year old was swiftly arrested but released as there were no suspicious circumstances. You spoke very matter-of-fact, completely devoid of any emotion.

She hung herself. You found her. You tried to save her but it was too late. Fuck it. It's done, init.

You clearly just want to numb down & forget. And you use illicit drugs and alcohol to do so. You use denial to dismiss your very justified feelings because you've really never been taught how to feel, process, and then let go.

If we deny and suppress how we feel, those feelings manifest physically, emotionally, mentally, fiscally, etc

For you, your trauma manifests as addiction, homelessness & isolation. You're estranged from your family. You have no contact with your children. You are an addict, you're homeless, and you're going nowhere fast.

And so the pattern continues...

You were standing outside Tesco, being your usual friendly self. You've got a can of beer in your hand that you're hoping will last. You're hoping someone will buy you some food & maybe some more beer. You're probably hoping to receive some money donations, too, from the passer-bys so you can buy something a little stronger, no doubt.

I can't afford to buy you any food or a beer today, unfortunately. It's my "cash no flow" week. I'm reduced to using my Tesco club card & Nectar points, 'til the end of the week.

You are a talented artist with big dreams of moving to Japan. Japan, the home of anime, the land of the rising sun where you hope to live & find work where you can create, get paid & possibly inspire others to achieve their dreams.

Yet, you're standing outside Tesco right now. You're pretending that you are okay, as you take small sips from that can of beer that you're clinging onto for dear life.

I've lived up in these there hills for almost 7 years now. I'm from the city, 10 miles west of here. I've settled in this semi-rural town that's becoming a bit ghetto now. History shows us that this little town rose to prominence as an international centre of textile manufacture as it was a boomtown during the Industrial Revolution of the 19th century. It's a hilly little landscape that's got a fascinating history with some strangely interesting people thrown in the mix, and they're from all walks of life.

You were one of the first people I met here. A young, skinny, homeless guy who was trying his best with the rubbish hand he was dealt. You told me how you'd lost your way after your long-term relationship broke down. You, a young guy who had latched on to someone else in the hope of love and had moved into her home. You, a young guy who had planted his seeds without setting his roots prior. So, when the relationship inevitably imploded, you found you had nowhere to go except the cold, harsh streets of this little hilly town. Plus, you are estranged from your mum & siblings due to issues with your step-family so you couldn't ever go back home, in your eyes. Your family ties are fraught with mis-trust & uncertainty, and you've admitted that you've made it difficult for your family as you just push them away, as it's easier for you that way.

And so the pattern continues...

I noticed your sketches for sale on display first. I respected that you had a good little hustle there. And that you recognised your talent but stayed humble at the same time. Once we got chatting, you didn't shy away from your role in your downfall. And you were quick to not place the blame on others. You seemed to put it all on yourself, which was quite refreshing, if I'm honest. You did not seek sympathy from anyone. The way you spoke was just very matter-of-fact. I respected your honesty about the struggles you've faced and the problems you've created by your own refusal to feel. And to take any accountability for your emotions.

You prefer to experience numbness.

I remember not long after we first met that I saw you walking down the main road. You were as high as a kite. It didn't register with you at that time that our paths had crossed earlier in Tesco's carpark even though we had talked, and I had bought you a sandwich. And I remember feeling disappointed in you as we walked by each other. Your eyes were glazed over and empty. By this point, you had shared with me about your Japan dream, and it made me feel sad as I realised then that you'd probably never make it. Your chances were getting slimmer each & every time you got high and/or drunk, even though you've got the skills & talent to be successful.

And so the pattern continues...

You're probably still standing outside Tesco even though they'll be shutting up for the night. You're probably still clinging to that same can of beer. Unless someone has been kind enough to replace it with a fresh one. You're probably still pretending like you're not burning in Hell, too. Still wearing your brave face...

"Like a man should."

Something has got to give, though, lad. You have to make changes if you want your dream to become your reality. You have to allow yourself to feel, no matter how painful it is, then you can let it go. But as long as you carry on suppressing your emotions, the pattern will continue, and you will be stuck in this rut until the day you die.

You deserve so much better, but talent alone isn't enough. There is only one person stopping you from achieving your goals... and that's you. Luckily, you're in control of you, so make the necessary changes and get the help and support you need, then you can thrive.

I sincerely hope it works out well for you. I truly do.

Look after yourself, yeah.

And, good luck.

©️namziirocks

[cant-you-be-m1ne-forever]

Dear my dearest.

I don't mean to disturb, i just think I need to say this. I don't mind if you consider this as pathetic, or vulnerable, or desperate, or even cringe, because me myself consider those things I'm going to say worse than that.

These are some thoughts of mine, which I don't know how to change and I'd like to have your assistance to change it (or not, if those things I'm going to say is actually true to you):

- I still consider myself as a replacement. I don't know how but my point of view is, you tell me all of these beautiful words because that's what you couldn't say to the one you love, and you always wanted to say it to her.

- Your intellectual is trying to make yourself love me and foul yourself, when in fact, you can't. You probably in the most possible way, are just healing, and feeling better with life, but you can't love me, and you don't consider yourself to be mine.

Let me be clear; I don't need you to be my lover if you don't want to and you decided it just because there's something on you crossed the line of friendship but it can't be considered as "love" since it didn't reach to that extent. I don't want you to "take responsibility" just only because i love you, and i don't want you to force anything just only because you want to keep my treatment around. If i don't switch statement then I'd still be the same, and nothing would change. So you don't have to do that.

You're free to take a step back. I'm not saying that I'll leave you, but I'll let you decide wisely this time. You're free to take a step back. Think twice and carefully, are you able to carry to weight of the word "love"? Do you really think there's a chance of us? Do you still have faith in what you're seeing, and do you want me to come assist you all the way, and are you sure the person you're going to love after your healing process, is me?

I'm still considering your feelings towards me is being attached. Because I'm safe, because i treat you like how you wanted her to treat you, or them to treat you but sadly none of them did. I want to be with you so i already lowered so much of my standard, which can pressurize you once I tell. So don't worry, i feel not much of things when you can't meet it, because it's already being stated at first since you can't give me the love like I do towards you (again, i don't blame you, i can't, love isn't something forceful).

And you said, you would want me to tell you how to treat me well. I'm trying to repress the feeling of guilt telling you this, but here's the first request:

- Please read all of this. And reply my questions, tell me what you actually think, and don't lie to me, don't foul yourself, stop, just look straight at the truth and fix me where I said wrong or tell me which one I made it correctly.

This can be long and I'm sorry I made you read this paragraph, i know you hate reading, but I really need a conversation to you so yes, please do.

I'm trying to do something right in this relationship, since I feel like I'm not good enough, never be enough, never be the one and always out of your world, my existence is out of your world. I love you and I want to continue our relationship, personally (I'm sorry)

I really want to beg you not to leave me, beg you to be mine, and treat me better but I right now can't, because that could be way too pathetic, and I'm sorry but my intellectual self feels like you're not safe enough for me to beg you, because that means i show my most vulnerable self to you, which will set my expectations even higher, and it would hit me so hard if once my brain finally decided to kill itself by switching statement forcefully.

So yes, I'd rather beg you to choke me 'til I'm dead, because this is so painful to take, and i don't want to stand this any longer.

From:

Your... Uh-... lover.

[glorygirlki]

My therapist says I should write a letter to you for my own closure.

Not that I feel it would do any good, but here goes...

Words can't describe how much you changed my view on love for both good and bad.

From the day I laid eyes on you, my soul recognized yours as if we'd been here before. As if Shakespeare had written our love story before we even started. Filled with love, true solace, tragedy, and heartbreak.

A love that started at the speed of light. Intimacy deeper than the ocean. I knew from the beginning it would be dangerous. But, I cherished every moment I had with you.

The way you'd speak wisdom and life into me when I'd be at my lowest. When you'd allow me to soak your t-shirts with my tears and constantly reminded me to breathe. Until you'd rock me to sleep in your arms like a baby. Sometimes I wouldn't even be sleeping and would hear you pray over me. God, to experience you was a blessing.

Lying in the dark at night, holding each other. Spilling out our biggest dreams, darkest moments, down to our unfathomable fears that would never leave our four walls. The same walls that held the sounds of our laughter, screams, fighting and our all day love making.

The slightest touch of yours would send butterflies from my stomach to head to toe. You spoke my body's foreign language on your own without me having to teach you. To be held by you was a privilege, to have your lips against mine was a gift the way you'd steal my breath every single time was so damn good, even if it was a crime. I couldn't resist.

The nights I couldn't sleep I'd lay next you. Prayed over you. Watched you sleep. Head on your chest, ear to your heart, counting every single heartbeat, never missing a beat. Counting every breath you'd take.

You were my center. My safe haven. Even during our own world of chaos. No matter how far, whatever argument that caused us disruption in our sanctuary of bliss, love and peace. You were my home.

Blessed to experience a love like yours. A lot of first experiences with you that my heart could never erase, no matter how hard I tried.

And on the dark days I'd pray our hearts would find their way back to one another.. Until one day they no longer did.

The days you couldn't bare it all I held your darkest secrets, I carried your pain so you wouldn't have to. Anything I could do to save you. I'd do. To risk my soul to save yours.

Now I carry you with me everywhere I go. You live within every song on my radio, every book I touch, movie I watch, down to every meal I cook.

May the woman who gets to experience you now knows how to hold you when the world is cruel to you. That she caresses your emotional and physical scars you don't bare to speak. To sit in the silence with you when every alarm in your nervous system is going off.

I wasn't prepared for our story to end this way. With so many unwritten pages.. Saying goodbye to you is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

If our souls meet again in another lifetime, I'd do it all over again, and again, again. Until I run out of lifelines.

Sincerely Yours,

Kiana🦋

[priestessofpresephone]

Just tell me that you hate me now, Just tell me that and I'll leave you be. I dropped contact with you and deleted everything you could contact me on. So why did I reach out?

Was it because I missed you?

I knew you wouldn't want to hear from me after that, but I did what I needed to do to better myself to be good to myself. To learn to love myself again to learn to laugh again to learn how to be a person again. To find a way to even out to find a way to make me, well me again.

So why am I so surprised by your coldness when I expected it? Why am I so surprised by how quickly you wanted that conversation to end?

Five years- Five years we were together. And you're the one who left me. I tried to be sympathetic and empathize with your feelings over our relationship being over. I know I changed but that's because I lost someone close to me. Someone who I brought a child into this world with. Someone who was by my side for 8 years, and you left me because I just wasn't the same. I needed space after that I had to figure out what I was going through. I knew you wanted to support me but there was no way you could, no one could. I had to learn how to be alone for my sake. I had to learn how to be a person again and not a victim.

I don't think you'll ever understand that kind of pain, and if you ever do I am so sorry. But I'm not going to let myself feel guilty for doing what I needed to get done. I'm not going to let my self guilt eat me away until I'm nothing more than a hallow shell. I am above that now.

I was hoping we could be friends but it's clear now- after just 1 month of absolutely no contact that now you want nothing to do with me. I could say all those paranoid thought I had when we were together were true, now I'm just a memory of a pretty face and words on a screen.

And yes it's upsetting and yes it does make my chest hurt and my heart tense and fall into my stomach thinking about that. But I've learned I need to not put other peoples feelings before my own, that it's okay to feel my emotions and feel them how they come now and no longer allow them to dictate my actions.

With all this being said I want to apologize. For everything we know I did, I want to apologize for the hurt I caused you and the stress and heart ache. I am truly sorry, but you'll never know that.

I'm writing this here because I need to let these emotions out, I need to feel this but I don't need you to hear it. I guess this is my good bye, in a long self centered vent. Good bye to you and may life treat you well, may the gods watch over you and guide down the path in life you so deserve. I'm sorry Loki had been rough on you this last month and I'm sorry he's playing these factors in your life.

But maybe it's what you deserve. I felt like I knew you but in the same breath I felt I didn't. I always brought it up and you never changed. You stayed bottled up about your friends about your personal life, about it all. Unless you were complaining about a car or you were complaining about the home life, that's all I knew.

I asked Loki one day during my journey to right those who have wronged me and bring upon them the consequences they deserve to have. And so he did, I'm not sorry for asking him for help but I am sorry for what happened to you.

I'm done being sorry, and I will no longer contact you. You can reach out to me when you're ready, but I know now nothing I can say or do could fix the friendship I have ruined and I just have to be okay with that and if that's how I have to be then I'll learn how to be okay with it.

Goodbye.

[such-a-freak]

A letter I will never send. For you.

You treated me horribly and it was half your fault for being so cruel and half my fault for letting you. But still holding on to it after all this time is entirely on me.

I want to apologize for that. I’m sorry for begrudging you for moving on when I should’ve done the same. I’m sorry for expecting you to think of me and care when I should have been doing that for myself. I’m sorry I let you define so much of my self-worth when that should’ve come from me and not anyone else. I’m sorry for all the envy I felt over the fact that you can fall in love with other people so freely and easily when I can’t. I’m sorry I focused so much on all the hurt you caused me when I should have been focusing on all the lessons you taught me and how they made me an infinitely better person. I’m sorry I stayed in that restaurant for so long. I’m sorry I held on so tight to love you never wanted to give me in the first place. I’m sorry it took me so long to learn to enjoy life again without you in it.

I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I know that’s not what you would have wanted for me.

My hands are open now and I know you will tear and shred your way out of my heart but you are free now.

I’ll always have love for you but I’m letting you go. I’m letting you go. I’m letting you go.

[tarotwithavi]

A message for you from a friend 💌

Let your heart be open to the wonders of life, and trust in the strength and intuition that guide you. In every moment, there is a chance to grow and create, to turn dreams into reality.

Hello,

I want to remind you that you're surrounded by people who love you, me being one of them. Remember that you are a source of creativity and love, capable of nurturing not only yourself but those around you.

Whether through a gentle touch, a kind word, or a moment of self-care, you have the power to make a difference. Celebrate the connections you have and the warmth you bring into the world. You are a vessel of compassion and creativity , let these qualities flourish and guide you on your journey.

Take a moment to breathe deeply and appreciate the richness of your life. You are cherished and loved, and your presence is a gift to the world.

[polengl-blog]

Hello you,

You are a passionate and loving soul. I hope and pray that you find someone who sees you with the same love and care that you offer them. Someone who looks at you with fervor and won't let anyone come between you because they know they belong to you and no one else.

I hope you find someone who shows you that love is an action, a choice, and a commitment. Love is patience. It’s recognizing your worth despite any shortcomings. It’s someone who chooses to stay and work through challenges with you, rather than seeking solace elsewhere. It’s about consistency, protection, and building a life together, with you as their priority.

I hope you find someone like that. Until you do, take this time to be that person for yourself. Stay strong and positive. Know your worth and believe that someone special will one day come into your life to stay forever.

Cheers to you.

Xoxo,

Polengl

[smtown-tourist]

A Letter to You - Year 6:

Our dear sweet shiniest angel, it's been 6 years since you left us. It's still so hard to believe that you're gone, but this year I've started to feel a change when people mention you. It's done less out of grief and sadness and more out of love and happiness, of cherishing the life you lived rather than morning the one that you lost.

For the past few years, whenever your anniversary rolls around, I've chosen to write a letter to you as my way of staying connected to you and dealing with my own grief. I've felt a change in that as well because now I don't use it as a coping mechanism as much as I used to as I've begun to look forward to writing these letters. It makes me happy when your anniversary rolls around because I know it means that I can finally rant about everything your group and members have been up to like I'm actually sitting down and having a conversation with you.

It actually makes me a little giddy that Key chose to remember you and celebrate your anniversary in the same manner when he made his instagram post today. It really is a great way of dealing with grief and finding a way to stay connected to you. I don't plan on ever stopping this tradition, but if I ever do, know that it's not because I've stopped loving you or have forgotten you. Eventually, we all have to move on and until I reach that point, this is how I'll choose to remember you on the anniversary of your death.

As a part of every Letter to You that I write, I add pictures of you and your members. This year, I decided to include those from your debut year because 2023 marked 15 years with SHINee. There were so many ways that your group chose to celebrate that milestone and in so many ways they made sure that you were included. You members always make sure to include you in some way, but this year felt extra special and more thought out.

First, SHINee held a 15 Year Anniversary Fan Event. When the news of the event first came out, the venue that was selected was so small in comparison to what you're used to. It was so sad and disrespectful, and as you can imagine, SHINee World wasn't going to sit idly by and let that happen. A petition was released by the official SHINee World Fan Club to have the venue switched to something bigger. You would've been so proud of your fandom for standing up for what it believed in, and part of me believes that the courage we had to stand up for SHINee derived from the examples you set. You were always speaking out against injustice and fighting for what you believed in. Long story short, SM changed the location of the venue, and your members were so grateful for the love that SHINee World has for them. I know that if you had been around to see it, you would've been brought to tears as you thanked SHINee World immensely. You would've told us that we did well just like you always wanted someone to tell you.

Second, SHINee released a music video as a special anniversary present for SHINee World. The song was titled, The Feeling, and the thing that made it so extra special was that it was a video that your members directed all on their own. It was so beautiful, encompassing the essence of SHINee, and brilliantly conveyed the meaning of the song. You would've been proud of your members for showing off their new skill set, and I think the only thing that could've made that music video even better was if the song was written by you. I know you would've loved creating a special song just for SHINee World and your group's 15th anniversary. Don't think that you were left out, though, because in the opening credits of the song, your name was listed there with your members and I know that you were on their minds the whole time they were filming.

Third, SHINee also released an Anniversary Special on YouTube that showcased the members celebrating the anniversary with a road trip. Your members were surprised first with a plushy of you to take along with them, but then they were also surprised with a special presentation of all of SHINee's mementos from over the years. As they were admiring the setup and walking down memory lane while checking out some of your group's older albums, you were brought up a few times. It was great seeing your members smile when they saw pictures of you and hearing them speak fondly of you. We needed to see that from them because it's so hard for us as a fandom to move on and stop grieving when we know that your members haven't moved on and still grieving.

Fourth, a documentary of your group came out a couple months ago celebrating the 15 years that SHINee has been in existence. I haven't seen the movie yet so I can't give you any details about the contents of it, but I know that it held so many memories. It would've been a film that you would've enjoyed not only creating but watching as well. I can't help but wonder what you would've said during your interview portions of the movie if you were still around. I'm sure you would've had us all laughing and crying with the stories you shared, and you probably would've laughed and shed a tear or two as well.

Fifth, 2023 didn't just mark SHINee's 15th Debut Anniversary but it also marked the 10th Year Anniversary of when SHINee won Artist of the Year at the MMA's. 2013 truly became SHINee's year and it feels so right that 2023 also ended up becoming another year marked by SHINee. When your group won Artist of the Year, it was one of the most memorable award winnings for your group. EVERYONE, not just SHINee and SHINee World, remember that day, and it was shown when the MMA's put together a speical video just for SHINee. We felt your tears that day and we remember them so clearly like it was yesterday. We remember how happy you were and we also remember how much you all wept, the humbleness you and your members showed as you all insisted that you didn't deserved that reward but would continue to work harder to improve. Well, I'm hear to tell you that you all DESERVED that award and every other that has come after that. The impact SHINee has had on the industry was felt then and it's still felt now. Your group ended up winning Performance Stage of the Year at the MMA's and like true legends, your members showed the whole world WHY because they KILLED IT! The performance your group gave still gives me goosebumps when I think about it now. They showed everyone that was watching why SHINee is known as the Kings of Live Vocals, of live performances in general. Your group managed to bring the fun back to the End of the Year Awards as they had everyone, especially the idols in attendance up on their feet and singing along. SHINee is the group that inspired so many of these young artists to become idols, and I know that you would've been so proud of your group and its accomplishments.

I decided to wait to talk about SHINee's comeback this year until I reached Onew's portion of the letter. That's because this comeback was the first since your death that SHINee has promoted as an incomplete unit. Right before SHINee was supposed to start promoting their 8th album, Hard, an announcement was made that Onew would be put on Hiatus to recover from some unnamed health problems. It was so devastating when that news first came out because so many of us were looking forward to having SHINee back together after two years, but you would be proud of SHINee World. Instead of focusing on ourselves, we cheered Onew on and showed him how much love and patience we have as we promised to wait for his return.

I know that deciding to go on Hiatus wasn't an easy decision for Onew to make since he's the leader. I'm sure that he had a lot of worries and doubts, some fears that he would be forgotten. I chose this set of photos of him comforting you because I know that if you had been around, YOU would've been the one comforting him during that time. I can picture you telling Jinki not to worry because you would handle everything and make sure that nobody forgot about him while he was gone. You were always his right hand man as the second eldest. You would help each other in so many ways and you were never afraid to step up and take over when you felt it was right.

Even though I know it was a hard decision for Onew to make, I stand by the fact that it was the best decision that he ever made. Right before he went on Hiatus, he looked so frail and sickly, the skinniest we'd ever seen it. It was heartbreaking and so concerning. But you should see him now. Jinki looks so much happier and healthier in the recent photos that have come out of people running into him in public. You would be so proud of Onew, your only hyung inside the group, for looking out for his own health and setting such a good example for everyone that it's okay to take time off and focus on your well-being. I think he learned that from you since you were such an advocate for mental health and spoke openly about your struggles. I know Onew isn't as open about those kinds of things as you were, and I don't want him to ever feel pressured to share with us the details of what he was going through at the time, but I think in his own way, when he wrote a personal letter to SHINee World that it was his own way opening up to us.

On a more positive note, Onew did make a solo comeback earlier in the year. Personally, it's probably one of my favorite releases from him because the song is so touching and the music video itself was beautiful, a real cinematic masterpiece. You would've loved every part of it, especially the song since it was a ballad. That was always something that you two bonded over. I could just imagine you covering it at some point.

You would've been proud of your Kibummie for everything that he did this year. With you and Onew gone, SHINee's middle child had to take the reigns and lead the group. 2min didn't make it the easiest task, but I'll get to that later. Even so, Key has done an amazing job of leading SHINee and making sure that SHINee stays whole. Both you and Onew taught him well in that regards. Key was always good at taking care of SHINee like an umma, but he's really stepped up and taken on that Hyung role these past 6 months. I'm sure he has a new found level of respect and gratitude for you and Onew for being the eldest members in the group.

The Hard album had so many amazing songs on it, as I'm sure you would've guessed, but there's one song in particular that I want to mention and it feels right to do so during Key's section of the letter because Key was the one that spoke about this song, how it stood out to the group during preparations and quickly became his favorite. The song is called Identity, and it's a song about loving yourself for who you are and not being afraid to show it. I know that if you would've been there to hear this song's demo, you would've immediately fallen in love with it just like Key did since both of you always wore your identities on your sleeves. You should also know that Key wasn't the only one that heavily identified with his song. As soon as it came out, this song became an instant favorite of those belonging to the LGBTQIA+ Community and it was one that they claimed as their own. The Seoul Pride Festival even made Identity one of the main songs for their parade playlist. You would've been proud of that accomplishment since that's another thing that you and Key had in common: your love and acceptance for the LGBTQUIA+ Community. None of us will ever forget the time you personally reached out to a trans student and posted their protest letter as your profile picture on Twitter. You did something that no other idols at the time had the guts to do, and it's because of that that you've influenced others in the industry to be more open about being queer themselves or an ally to the community. I know the moment that you found out about Identity playing at the Seoul Pride Festival, you would've unashamedly made a post telling everyone how honored you are that one of SHINee's songs was chosen for such an event.

Key also released a repackage album and mini album this year. They were great as always and part of that has to do with Key using his music as a representation of himself. And in a cute way of remembering you, in his latest music video for his song, Good & Great, there was a part where BOK-SILLee, the fluffy pink monster that first made an appearance with Key's Gasoline comeback, popped up and there were five of them. It was a subtle nod to SHINee but it was so heartwarming to see five of them.

Also during Key's Good & Great promotions, he appeared on a variety show that hosts idols that are dog owners. While talking with the MC of the show, Key was asked if his dogs had any favorite SHINee members. Key didn't hesitate to mention that you were always Comme Des' favorite. That wasn't a surprise to any of us because we all remember quite vividly how you tried to eat Comme Des during one of the episodes of SHINee's One Fine Day. I'm sure that must've had a lasting impact on Comme Des since it won you a place in his heart. It does make me sad to think that a show like that wasn't around when you were still alive. I know that you would've begged to appear on that show with Roo so you could brag about your baby to the world. You would've also have loved to attend the doggie birthday party for Comme Des and Garcon with Roo. You would've showed up with her wearing a cute little bow and presents for Key's puppies. Byulroo is doing well, in case you were wondering, and Sodam-noona continued to take good care of her and give us regular updates. I'm sure you already knew that your baby was in good hands or else you would've have felt comfortable leaving her.

As I mentioned before, 2min have been making Key's life as SHINee's temporary leader a lot more stressful. Your two youngest have become a bunch of wild-childs lately and I'm sure Key can't wait for Onew to come back and take over. Recently, they were causing trouble during one of SHINee's concerts. They started sword fighting with the key chains on their belts, and I doubt I have to tell you what it all looked like. The fandom went wild after the footage of that came out, so much laughter, and I'm sure while you would've been nagging at them for ruining SHINee's image, you also would've been right there with them since you always loved to put a smile on the Shawols' faces and make them laugh. The proof can be seen in the loads of footage of you doing wildly scandalous things with your members on stage just to get a reaction from the crowd. That was one of the things we loved about you and fondly cherish now that you're gone.

Something that I know probably makes you jealous is that 2min have also been spending a lot of time going to the gym together. I know that was something that you and Minho always bonded over when you were alive and I'm sure that it would've been something that the three of you enjoyed doing together. It makes me wish that you were still around so you could be a part of those trips to the gym. I know that if you were you would've made tons of appearances on Minho's instagram stories. We would've seen your thumbs-up and instagram handle tagged in so many of those posts, and it makes me sad that we'll never get to see that. You're probably also jealous that Minho recently grew an extra 0.2 centimeters. You're probably nagging at the Universe right now for it and asking why it never made you 0.2 centimeters taller. I know that if you had been alive when Minho discovered that, you would've never let him hear the end of it while Minho rubbed it in your face every chance he got. He used to love doing that: giving you a hard time about your height. It was always done out of love, so I hope you aren't holding that against him.

You should be proud of Minho, though, because he also recently was chosen as the person to carry and light the torch for the Seoul's Winter Olympics. It made him so happy, and it really shows how wide-spread his love for sports is that he out of so many was chosen to do such an honor. I know that you would've been proud and I know that you would've made sure everyone knew it, too, when you made a post congratulating Minho on that accomplishment with a photo of you watching the footage live. You were always so great about showing your support for the things that the SHINee members did outside of the group that I know that moment wouldn't have been any different.

This year was a speical one for your Taeminnie as he finally made his long awaited comeback from his Military Hiatus. Taemin getting discharged marked the end to SHINee's Enlistment Era, and I'm sure you were cheering alongside side us when we welcomed him back with open arms. Right away, Taemin showed that you've been on his mind a lot this year. He was the first one to speak fondly of you during SHINee's Anniversary Special by complimenting you on how pretty you were and sharing the fondness he had for your signature chest mole that he lovingly called The Mind's Eye. It was also during that special that Taemin decided to perform a special piano cover of your song, End of a Day. I know that if you were still alive you would've enjoyed getting to perform it alongside him and it would've been a beautiful performance.

Your maknae would've made you proud with his latest comeback. His song, Guilty, became an instant sensation, and truly, everything about that comeback was exceptional. From the stunning music video to the iconic choreography, I know that you would've been in love with it all. You never did let anyone forget that you were the King of the Taemints. There was never any doubt for how much you loved Taemin and how proud he made you with his accomplishments and growths as an artist. It's really thanks to you that he had the motivation and ambition to strive to be better. Taemin showed that when he dedicated a song to you during his appearance on the singing show Dingo. He was so happy to share how the song was one you used to sing when you practiced and it inspired him to become a better vocalist. You're the reason that Taemin has been able to rid himself of the Tone Deaf label, a label that you probably always despised and disagreed with since you knew better than anyone that Taemin had so much potential and a great singing voice.

I know that Key already told you about this but just this past weekend, Taemin held his first concert since being discharged. I don't have to tell you that it was a show like no other because you've personally attended one of Taemin's solo concerts before. We all remember how you showed up, decked head to toe in Taemin merch and screamed his name at the top of your lungs. I know that if you had still been alive, you would've attended Metamorph as well with MinKey and SHINee's choreographer Kany, who you would've LOVED even before you found out that she's a Shawol herself. I know you would've been battling it out with Minho to see who could cheer for Taemin the loudest and get his attention first. I know you would've been crying happy tears seeing your baby do so well and receive so much love. I know you would've fought to be the first one to take a selca with him and immediately uploaded it to your instagram. I know that you would've been losing your shit right there with us when Taemin ripped his shirt off before quickly snapping a picture of him and uploading it with some kind of embarrassing caption. You would've had a heart attack during the portion when Taemin hung upside down but also been so amazed by it, making one of your iconic super-shocked faces with your eyes and mouth as wide as they could go. And even though you weren't there in person, I know that your presence could be felt in that stadium as you wouldn't want to miss the chance at seeing your baby perform. You would've blessed Taemin and made sure that everything went well.

Overall, 2023 was an amazing year for your group. It's breathtaking to see how far all of you have come and to know that SHINee is still capable of beating even the newest, most popular 4th Gen groups. The impact and legacy your group has had on K-pop has stood the test of time and it is one that will always be cherished. The Hard comeback, as sad as it was that Onew couldn't truly be a part of it to the fullest, was incredible nonetheless. It gained so much love and attention and it's a part of why 2023 should be known as SHINee's Year. It makes me wish you could've been here to be a part of it all. I wish we could've seen you in the music videos and heard your voice on the album. I wish you could've been there for the music show performances, for every award winning, for the celebration of SHINee's 15th anniversary, for SHINee's concerts, for SHINee's Crop Top Era, for the premier of the SHINee documentary, for your members' solo comebacks, for their solo concerts, for the hardships that some of them had to face, for the laughs that they shared, for the tears that they shed, for the memories that they made. But even though you weren't physically there, your members made sure that no one forgets about you. You haven't been forgotten. Your life might've been lost but the memories that you left behind will live on forever and be cherished by every person whose life you touched.

We love you, Kim, Jonghyun, and always know that you did well.

[zindagi-se-darte-ho]

a letter to my folks.

to my parents,

maa, baba. i couldn't be a good daughter. i'm sorry. i'm sorry i couldn't be the soft-spoken, academically perfect, sweet daughter you wish you had. i'm sorry i couldn't be the child you'd be proud of. i am sorry for all my shortcomings. every time i was rude to you, i was fighting a battle with myself and all the emotional exhaustion it caused formed a cluster of anger that ended up being expressed as the rudeness i did not intend. i am sorry for all the anger that has built up in me, i just don't know how to channel it out. i try to be better each day, i try to make you proud. i look around and see people with their parents, so happy, their faces lit up with joy. but i look around me and i find myself alone in the crowd. i wish i was better. i wish i had a hand to hold. i wish you never have to have a child like me in all of your next lives.

to my sister,

i love you. i am so blessed to have you. having you feels like a relief. i hope everyone gets a sister like you. i am sorry for all the days i've hurt you, been angry with you for no reason. i know you are so talented and i hope that you see yourself with eyes of pride and not pity. i love you bon. a lot.

[ivodette]

…. to, my dear beloved. -about us i’ve currently been reading your favorites. especially your classics,

my love, i’ve dearly missed you. eversince -recents that day, i’ve met you . when we were just 16… oh how i miss you.

i look up to the sky, to dream about you forever and always.