#a journal entry and an email?

[buildoblivion]

really REALLY loving the creepypasta/ something awful vibes in the chester statements so far 👀👀👀👀

[alvie2alive]

PANS: As Told By the First Lines of My Journal Entries - an original poem

Some context: I've had PANS (Pediatric Acute-Onset Neuropsychiatric Syndrome) since 2015, but was only diagnosed in 2023. I've been journaling since 2014, when I was 7/8, and I still journal now. I developed PANS after getting Lyme disease in 2015, and then it had a whole second rebound in early 2020 after getting Strep.

Each line is the first line of a different journal entry, in mainly chronological order.

Here's a review of my day. Today is SPARKLY! I've been feeling really bad for the past four to five days now. I'm not sure when or if I'll feel better.

Today I'm seeing what other girls aren't supposed to be seeing. And I'm kind of obsessed with perfect and even numbers. Today was almost THE WORST DAY EVER.

There's so many things I want to say, but I can't. Today was meh. Happy Valentine's Day! I have strep throat. Today was pretty good, other than waking up to a thunderstorm at 5:45a.m.

I woke up today and I was depressed. So I quit gymnastics. Today's been pretty good. So I found a band called Mayday Parade. Yes, I know it's really late, or early, I guess. Yes, I'm actually writing this sometime other than nighttime!

Hey! I still don't feel that good. I don't feel good. Hey! I'm scared. Hey. I don't feel good.

I'm so sorry I haven't written in so long! So... a lot happened. Hey. I didn't sleep again last night. Today is the last day of classes for the week. I haven't been feeling that good lately.

Don't really know what to write. I'm so tired. I don't really know what to say... I'm so tired.

I'm really tired. I went to therapy tomorrow. I don't know what's going on. My head hurts.

Someday I'll look at the sky and see color again. You know what's sad? It's about my feelings of being trapped here. It's weird to think that I don't know what normal is. I can feel myself going insane. Black figure at end of hallway by bathroom.

I slept well last night. I wanna go home so fucking bad. I should be getting out soon. Bored. Hey. I hate my life. I need to run.

It's been a while. I still feel bad. Letter to the sky: Hey.

I feel so guilty. I'm so tired of not being treated like a human being. I ended up having the best day today after all! Today wasn't super eventful.

Hi!! I feel so horrible. I was really anxious at school today, just the whole time. I hate myself. I'm nervous. Holy shit. There's this dream I have. I had such an amazing day yesterday, nothing happened, so why am I so depressed?

I feel like I'm going insane. I hate myself. I am okay. I stayed home from school today because I was too tired to go. I skipped 7th period today. I showered and brushed my teeth.

Last day of school!! One more thing. I feel like I'm going insane. Why can't I feel anything? I think I've slept maybe 3 hours last night. Alright.

I wish I could be a gas. It's not even noon yet and I'm already sore and tired. God, what am I doing? I'm crying.

The new doctor that we found in Washington only sees patients under 16. What are we even fighting for anymore? It feels like I'm being weighed down by a thousand rocks.

I'm not going down without a fight. I feel like I'm just some hopeless disabled kid trying to be something I'm not. I'm scared. It's weird. I'm scared.

I feel like I always blend into the background. I feel really horrible right now. I don't want to be calm. I feel like shit. Why is nothing I do ever good enough? Everything's wrong. I'm getting tired of pretending. I don't know why I can't just get out of bed.

Alright.

The walk yesterday went well. How do people go in public like it's nothing? I feel so confused today. Things are so fuzzy. I feel not here.

Hey! Bad news. I still haven't left. I want to unrealize this. I had an AMAZING night. My brain is so scattered, and my memory sometimes just randomly lapses. I had an amazing day! I hate that I want to go home.

I'm not okay. My arms hurt so bad from the blood draw yesterday. I had therapy today.

I had a weird day today. I've been feeling weird all day. I feel so weird.

I spent most of the day biking around town. I stayed home sick today. Things I Love: I'm so burnt out. I feel so alone. I love the sky so much.

I'm upset. I stayed home. I just felt like writing this in pink. Oh, I also got my Letterman jacket yesterday! I cried today.

New journal!! I'm so bored, so you're getting more music stuff! I finally figured out what to put on my grad cap! School went fine today. Things are rough. I stayed home sick yesterday.

Graduation day!! So, a lot happened. I'm feeling a lot better today! Hey. I don't like it here. So that was horrible. This is so fucked.

Reasons to stay alive: Things have been hard recently. Today has been... a lot. Today kinda sucked. Today kinda sucked.

I went to the walk-in today. I feel so lonely. Today kinda sucked.

Not much to write about today. I'm so tired, but I'm afraid to sleep.

Hi! I feel so empty. I think I'm uncomfortable being human. I don't even know where to start or how to describe how I'm feeling. I had a dream. I feel awful. Nevermind.

I'm not writing in here as much anymore. I'm so dissociated and I can't get out of it.

I got back from the doctor's about an hour and 15 mins ago, and I have so many papers. I just want to be healthy. I'm so fucking done. But I'll be okay. I hate this. Just... everything is so hopeless. Sometimes it's like my younger self is hurting and not me. How did I end up like this?

I have been awake for 3 days. I feel like I'm losing my mind. Sometimes it's easy. I can't do this anymore.

I prayed last night. I hate myself. I love putting smiles on people's faces. I just want to feel fine for one day. I love being here for people. Everything's wrong.

Once again, I'm awake in the middle of the night, scared. I'm sad. What the fuck. I have no idea how to start this off, this is me attempting to explain how I feel right now, and probably failing. I think the only reason I'm alive is because of hope.

"To Whom It May Concern: I have been treating Alvie since mid-September 2023." I want to go into a coma and wake up when I'm better. I want to slip into a coma and wake up when I'm better.

I didn't recognize myself in the mirror today, either. I want to be healthy. How the actual fuck was this past week even real.

I haven't been feeling good for the past 3 days. I had a bit of a cold, or allergies, or something today. I'm still out of it. Life is getting unbearable right now. I feel so heavy. I am not doing well. I'm so tired of being sick. It's been a week.

Why can't I just be okay?

[daforged]

i don’t think anyone has to be perfect at their job or whatever but maybe bookkeeping isn’t the career for you if you can’t fucking read or follow basic instructions <3

[ljubimaya]

Well, ig that's it then

[manicpanicpixienightmare]

I’m in prison and the prison is ME

[tu1pars-worst]

Eat up.

Jimmy Zare. He/Gut/����. Adult, in-sys and bodily. Fictive.

This is a space for me to put my thoughts and feelings about shit that I remember from source. Some of it is going to be toxic and probably triggering. Read at your own risk.

That being said, I do not want minors interacting with this blog. If you are bodily a minor, don't fucking follow me. If your blog doesn't have an age somewhere on it, I'm blocking you. Get the fuck off my blog. I would also prefer if endogenic systems and radqueers didn't interact. Otherwise, I don't care who follows me or interacts with my posts.

Putting my tag system below the cut.

journal entry; - all posts

image file; - art, pictures, etc

txt file; - text posts

emails; - asks

memory bank; - posts relating to my source memories

pe.c; - posts about/featuring Curly

pe.a; - posts about/featuring Anya

pe.s; - posts about/featuring Swansea

pe.d; - posts about/featuring Daisuke

[kay9leo]

Journal Entry: 1

The nightmare before Thanksgiving break and finals

ME: *MENTALLY FLIPS TABLES BECAUSE WHY. WHY DID I PICK THIS LIFE?

ME (When I get my paycheck): Oh, so that's why I work and absorbs everyone's anxiety like a sponge

[thoughtportal]

This is a developing news story and may be updated as more information is obtained. If you value such information, please support this Substack.

On Dec. 1, a woman immolated herself with a Palestinian flag outside the Israeli consulate in Atlanta.

Now, according to the Atlanta Fire Rescue Department, the woman — referred to in their report as “Jane Doe” — is alive and “in stable condition” at Grady Memorial Hospital, where she has been since the immolation.

After repeated requests for her name, the department stated to this reporter in an email that it “does not disclose the identities of victims”. Repeated inquiries to Grady, which is a public hospital, went unanswered. The hospital houses the Walter L. Ingram Burn Center.

“Jane Doe” is 27.

When asked if they had made any comment to tell the public that she was still alive this entire time, the official at Atlanta Fire Rescue Department said they “shared the last updated with local media via email on 12/21/23. The release stated: ‘The victim remains hospitalized in critical condition. The security guard, who attempted to assist the burn victim, has been released from the hospital.’” Several internet searches on that quote produce no results. This would also indicate that "Jane Doe" went from critical to stable condition without public notice. 

Aaron Bushnell immolated himself at the Israeli embassy in Washington, D.C. on Sunday, explaining “I will no longer be complicit in genocide” and shouting “Free Palestine!” repeatedly as he burned alive. So, his case — unlike many other self-immolations including Gregory Levey, Raymond Moules, Timothy T. Brown, Malachi Ritscher and others — has received some attention. Thus, “Jane Doe” being ignored fits with the usual pattern. Bushnell is the exception — probably because he livestreamed it. See “Ignoring Immolators Lulls the Society to Sleep.”

As Bushnell was burning himself alive, an officer pointed a gun at him, barking orders as if he constituted a threat. A security guard, Michael Harris, sustained injuries working to rescue “Jane Doe” — but there were similarities, where she was actually viewed as a potential threat.

At one point, the police report for “Jane Doe” refers to it as being a case of “arson”.

Much of the media coverage and general discussion of her self-immolation in December focused on if she had done damage. The Atlanta Police Chief said: “We believe this building remains safe, and we do not see any threat here.” The Israeli government released a statement: “It is tragic to see the hate and incitement toward Israel expressed in such a horrific way.”

Police records indicate that they obtained a search warrant and entered an apartment they believed to be associated with “Jane Doe” — initially using a drone:

The drone was able to relay information as to the layout and the belongings inside. After it was deemed "safe" entry was made with bomb technicians. While clearing the apartment no improvised explosive devices were located.

The police report also noted:

During the search a Quran was found in the bedroom along with a [sic] Arabic dictionary and a Hebrew dictionary. The bedroom bookshelf contained books related to fiction and fantasy. A "Drug use for grown ups" book was on the bookshelf as well. Two journals were seized from the bedroom. A thumbdrive was seized from the bedroom as well. A laptop computer was seized from the kitchen counter. A copy of the search warrant was left in the living room of the apartment. The front door [of] the apartment was secured before law enforcement left the premises.

When pressed for more information in compliance with an Open Records Request under Georgia law, Atlanta Fire Rescue Department claimed: “There is an ongoing and active investigation for the incident in question, which is why the only releasable information has been shared via the incident report. Investigative documentation is not available for release until the investigation is closed.”

[xtrablak674]

INTERIM PERFORMANCE EVALUATION

Employee TREVOR BROWN

Title INTERACTIVE PROJECT COORDINATOR

Date of Hire 3.30.98

Date of Evaluation 7 21.98

Supervisor Amy Van Aarle

1. Taking into consideration the individual's time in this position, indicate your overall appraisal of performance to date.

Good ( X ) Satisfactory ( )Unsatisfactory ()

Comments:

Trevor has made a large contribution to the growth of the Interactive Services department at kb&p. In a very short time he has become a key member of the team • he keeps information flowing and work moving in the interactive department. Trevor has injected sense of fiscal responsibility into the department, enabling us to grow and increase our profitability.

2. To date, what do you assess to be his/her strengths?

Trevor is very organized, pro-active and self motivated, all contributing to his success in his new position at kb&p. Trevor recognizes problem areas, troubleshoots them, and implements solutions. Trevor's initiative and dedication are nothing short of extraordinary. He has the ability to teach himself new processes and technologies that help him immensely in his job tasks.

His organization and thoroughness have taken the process of trafficking and tracking work to the next level. He has the ability to see holes in a process and make it more efficient and effective. He demands much from others around him • Trevor sets standards and holds others to them.

Trevor has begun to master the trafficking process and has set out to improve these processes even further. Recently he's been instrumental in developing a more detailed and thorough format for the Client sign-off/pickup sites. This will help to streamline the process of trafficking and help to troubleshoot any discrepancies in the creative rotations from the beginning of the production process, rather than the end.

This will help to keep the jobs on schedule and improve the overall turnaround times.

3. To date, what do you assess to be the areas in which improvement could be shown?

Trevor is a highly entertaining and fun person to be around, but he must learn to moderate the fun loving side of his personality in professional situations. He is very intelligent and demonstrates his smarts via a sharp wit. Trevor must recognize that this acerbic wit can alienate people in the workplace who do not appreciate the humor or cannot compete in the wit arena.

Trevor must discuss his workplace frustrations with his supervisor, and make sure that he irons out any potential conflicts and not fester and slow down the flow of work, or workplace relationships.

Trevor's approach to communicating is often too aggressive, and could even be called rough at times. Some of this comes from the fact that Trevor takes his work very seriously. Although an aggressive approach often sets fast results, it is not always conducive to building healthy working relationships in a client based business. If people get the feeling that they are being accused of doing a bad job, they react defensively. and often partially close the lines of communication. fearing further reprimands.

Often a little understanding, a little commiseration. (even it have to grit your teeth while you do it goes a long way towards achieving the desired result ) - a healthy process and open lines of communication. If Trevor adopts a more polished approach to his communications, his ability to get things done and accomplish his goals could start to produce even better results.

Trevor must become more restrained in his e-mail communications. instead using the phone diplomatically it he is angry with someone, and generally putting more effort into the quality of his e-mail communications. By the amount of grammatical errors in his e-mails at times, it seems that Trevor writes these e-mails quickly and while in the midst of emotion. Trevor has demonstrated that he is capable of a very high quality of written communication in many of his e-mails. However, sometimes he is sloppy in his communications.

The problem with e-mail is that it is fast, impossible to un-send, permanent, and open to be forwarded to any number of people.

When Trevor communicates to the sites that we run advertising on, he is representing kb&p to people who one day may be clients. His communications must always reflect that. In the next section, We've outlined some concrete ways that Trevor can use to improve his e-mail communications.

Trevor's enthusiasm and candor can definitely be used to his, and the department's, advance. Using his natural communication and organizational skills in combination with a more refined approach.

Trevor could soon see even better results. This refinement includes communications with agency employees, outside vendors. Web sites and client contacts. both through e-mail and phone contact.

4. What specifically are you planning to do, and recommend the employee do. to help develop in his her present position?

Trevor is in a position to progress and grow dramatically along with the rapidly growing Interactive Services department. His initiative and natural talents have made him a key asset to the department, and we would like to see him continue to grow wit us.

Trevor can continue to move forward by applying himself in the same fashion that he's already been doing. With his organizational skills and attention to detail. Trevor can and must continue to refine processes for the department and make them more efficient, especially as we add on more clients. Trevor must continue to pay attention to matters financial, keeping an eye on our bottom line and exploring areas of growth and profitability. Trevor must take the initiative to learn from those around him so that he eventually can take on more and more responsibility in this area.

Trevor must pay close attention to the way he communicates with others. For the next few weeks, each time Trevor writes a lengthy e mail, he should stop and sit on it for some time before sending it. After re reading the e-mail and re-evaluating the content, he should bring the e-mail to his supervisor and ask for an objective opinion about the content and delivery of the email. That way. Trevor can begin to recognize the strengths and weaknesses in his communications. and begin to improve them.

After doing this for a while, we recommend that Trevor continue to write and then sit on his e-mails, evaluating them before sending them. This is a great way to vent frustrations while leaving the door open to revise the delivery if circumstances change. People often write e-mails that are never sent, preferring on reflection to delete them or simply call the intended recipient. The writing of the e-mail, however, lets one understand and refine what it is that one is trying to say. This technique could work well for Trevor as well.

5. Growth Path

Trevor possesses the raw talent and a level of business competence to command a post more senior than the one he currently fills. With a moderation of his sometimes appropriate attitude towards others in the workplace. Trevor will rise to an executive position.

We will consider leaving the position of Interactive Business/Project Manager unfilled and evaluate Trevor's performance and suitability for this spot over the course of the next 3 months.

- - - -

Reflecting on this performance review twenty-five years later its amazing how much truth I find in Ms. Van Aarle's words. Albeit we had a very complex relationship I find all of her words here to ring true to exactly who I was at this time. The thing I can acknowledge now is that this was my first office job, my first time using e-mail professionally and being in a lot of the situations I was put in, I was given the grace to grow because of everything I was bringing to the table and I deeply appreciate all of this at a place which for all intensive purposes was my first corporate job.

My emotions were extremely volatile and everything she said about e-mail wasn't conducive to me slowing and cooling down before responding to correspondence. Curiously nowadays I barely touch e-mail even in a work setting. When I see a misunderstanding I just get up and go visit and talk with the person and clear up everything.

I have said repeatedly to folks give me a note, give me some feedback I will make revisions. This performance review I got a quarter of a decade ago still applies to everything I do. I will never send an angry email. If I am feeling emotional I will step-away and come back later to respond, if I respond at all.

The insight into my personality is so fun to see in writing these descriptors: dedicated, efficient, organized, thorough, highly entertaining, fun, intelligent, sharp wit, acerbic, aggressive, passionate, rough, and enthusiastic. Its still unfathomable to me that I have trouble finding work because most of these words still apply and all the things she suggested have been polished and refined. But not all jobs want you to be yourself and many aren't able to see what you bring to the table and really don't want to.

[Photo by Marlene Saunders]

[katamari-of-luv]

Every new Spamton Sweepstakes page I've found so far:

(Spoilers if you want to find them for yourself! If I missed something, feel free to add on!)

Clicking the "What's next?" link at the bottom of the main page takes you to /chapter3/, which simply reads "Not applicable." and has an ellipsis for a page title. UPDATE: Holding down the left arrow on your keyboard on this page causes the word "But..." to slide in from the right side of the screen.

Manually inputting /chapter1/ yields the same result (notably without the "But..." -- thank you rollingdanielle for pointing this out), while /chapter2/ reads "Applicable." instead. /chapter4/ has a red pixel slowly fade in at the center of the screen. Clicking that takes you to /chapter4/message/, which appears the same at first glance but actually contains several hidden links under the red pixel:

These link to one of two different six-second audio files: e.mp3 ("fading in" sound effect?) and m.mp3 ("fading out"?). I would love to hear it if anyone else finds a way to translate the "message". The placements of e's and m's don't appear to coincide with either binary or Morse code, but I could very well have missed something. Perhaps something Wingdings-related but I'm only a third of the way done with writing this post and that would be my fifth time pausing to puzzle out this one page. Maybe later.

UPDATE: HOLY SHIT. This comes from convobreaker on Bluesky's very informative thread. The layout of the audio file links correspond to a QWERTY keyboard, and the m.mp3 links match up to letters that can be unscrambled to spell /chapter4/thankyou/. The page is titled "How long did it take her to smile?" and presents you with two boxes to input text and a button to confirm. Pressing it with nothing in either box or anything but a valid email address in the first displays the text "Unknown contact." Pressing it with only a valid email address in the first box gives you the hint "She never smiled?" Filling the first box with an email address and the second with anything at all replaces everything with text reading "Thank you." Presumably the correct answer will send you a response.

On that note, /chapter5/ (titled "back") sends you here:

1 is unclickable, 2 takes you to d.mp3, a six-second drum and organ loop (that I could swear I've heard before-- can anyone identify it?) (UPDATE: Thank you to vividviolence and rollingdanielle! It plays before fighting Berdly for the second and final time in the Snowgrave or Weird Route, and may imply the "Applicable/Not Applicable" text refers to whether a Weird Route is possible in a given chapter.), 3 leads to ma.mp3, a warbling sound effect that fades out towards the end, 4 takes you back to /chapter4/, and 5 is h.mp3, a short acoustic guitar-like clip. It seems like manually inputting any "chapter" pages past 5 only takes you to room-dogcheck (they don't redirect, just display the little white dog).

Upon returning to the main page, clicking the "glitches and secrets Web Ring" banner, and continuing through to the /egg/ page via the "clues" link, a new link can be found embedded in the words "secret cats". /rain/ is another of Noelle's private journal entries, regarding the time she invited Catti over to play a "sillyriffic" Cat Petters minigame together. As per usual, she reminisces on seeing things in video games nobody else is able to replicate (but suspects Kris of knowing about it this time?) The "try it yourself" text leads to a playable version of this minigame at /rarecats/. The green dancing cats bouncing around the screen award points when clicked in accordance with the rarity scale on /rain/. An "angel wing" cat causes a stained glass window to appear onscreen and fade after a few seconds. Clicking that in time brings you to /windows/, a page titled "Aren't you forgetting something?" containing many instances of the same window sprite repeated over and over.

Each window links to a different combination of the same six words. Every page except one brings you to /room-dogcheck/. The correct combination, /lostwheretheforestwouldgrow/, leads to a page titled "ROOTS" which displays a blue tree that slowly floats up and down. It plays a single somber piano note the first three times it's clicked, then sends you back to /windows/.

UPDATE: Thank you to theyloy for tipping me off to this! Clicking the tree three times actually takes you to /window/ with no S. All the windows but one are now scrambled versions of the phrase /thepoorchildren/. Clicking and dragging to "draw" on this page, titled "Therapy", for long enough eventually reveals the red tree the man who gives you eggs hides behind, and clicking that links back to /egg/.

And last but not least, there's a new clickable area in /ramb/. The red desk at the front of the swanky, inviting green room now leads to /romb/, a silent set of wooden doors with the page title "No one will shed a tear for him." Clicking on them plays a door-opening sound effect and causes the screen to go black for a moment, then this text appears:

The text cannot be highlighted, and clicking either of the empty spaces plays the ma.mp3 sound effect associated with Chapter 3 via the /chapter4/message/ page discussed earlier in the post. This is wholly conjecture, but it may be of note that the spaces appear to be the right size to contain the word "egg".

UPDATE: Thank you once again to rollingdanielle! After clicking the door, but before the text appears, you can ctrl+A to click an invisible button floating around the screen. Doing so changes the page title to "You can never defeat us!!! Let's rumble!", plays ma.mp3, and then redirects to /chapter3/. This text could possibly be used in the Lanino and Elnina fight, as the speaker refers to fighting alongside at least one other person and "rumble" could be a pun on thunderstorms.

With that, I've listed off everything I know! Again, you're welcome to reply or reblog with anything I may have missed. Just one more month and Deltarune will be Tomorrow...

[see-arcane]

Our good friend Jonathan Harker is getting ready to leave for his business trip, Mina Murray is picking out a new journal, Lucy Westenra is charming a gaggle of smitten suitors, Abraham van Helsing is wrapping up his lectures, and Castle Dracula is prepping the guest room for a very long stay.

Which must mean that Dracula Season is here again!

 ‘Dracula Season’ being a catchall term for the voracious reading, memeing, writing, illustrating, analyzing, and general fun-having that’s ensued since Matt Kirkland’s project, Dracula Daily, caught on with us back in 2022. The Substack had already been running before then, but it sparked a conflagration as time went on and readers old and new to Bram Stoker’s Dracula—the actual novel, not Coppola’s fanfiction—devoured it in a way that scratched an itch none of us knew we had. Stoker wrote the book in epistolary fashion, clumping sections together as needed for the pacing without perfect adherence to chronological order. Matt went ahead and put all the events in order and proceeded to set up a lovely chain of emails that delivered entries on those correlating dates.

This style of organization and pacing turned out to not only make the virtual book club that much easier to engage with, but left space in-between to stew on the story and relate with the characters themselves. Every day of waiting in the book feels weightier when you have to pace and sweat and worry in tandem with poor Jonathan trapped in the castle or Lucy wasting away or Mina running out the clock before she loses the fight for her own humanity. And while we sat with the story or the lulls between Dracula Seasons, some of us found ourselves craving more of that ghastly gothic horror goodness to the point that we figured:

“Well. Why don’t I make something?”

And then we did! Tons of creative works have been churned out in the wake of Dracula Daily’s high. I figured that while we’ve still got a bit of time to wait for May 3rd, we should check out all this new stuff in the meantime. (Plus a handful of neat stuff that just clicks with the Dracula itch overall.)

So, in the interest of Dracula Season pregaming, let’s take a look at…

FICTION

Blood of My Blood – A recent addition to the Dracula Bad Ending AU pile, and definitely one of the most harrowing and addictive group-produced narratives I’ve ever come across, Blood of My Blood is the dramatically gothic currently-WIP work of @ibrithir-was-here and @animate-mush’s devious design. Give or take a heap of other fascinated folks (hello!) adding ideas to put more Horror into the Horrors that our cast has to face. The premise:

The Transylvanian climax went fatally sour and the Harkers were forced to shelter with Dracula himself, including their half-vampire son, Quincey. Cut to two decades later, and Quincey finds himself out in modern London, smitten with Lu, adopted daughter of Arthur and Jack, and diving into certain bloodstained old documents that detail the real history of how his parents came to live in the castle. Said revelations coming not a moment too soon, as a storm is coming for him straight from the Carpathians…

Dracula Daily Sketch Collection – An array of illustrations that captures every entry beat by beat, the Dracula Daily Sketch Collection by Georgia Cook, alias @georgiacooked was dished out over the course of the last Dracula Season. Some of the most fun character designs out there.

Fanfiction Spotlight: BlueCatWriter – With a whopping 99 works devoted to the novel Dracula (so far, the number may have gone up since I blinked), @bluecatwriter is one of the most prolific and talented fanfiction scribblers out there. Romances, nightmares, and overlaps between the two seem to crop up the most, give or take a crossover. Seems fitting that those blue paw prints have contributed to BoMB too.

The League of Extraordinary Gentlefolk – An ongoing comic in which all your favorite characters from the Classics section get together and tackle some perils ranging from the mundane to the monstrous. Started by the amazing @mayhemchicken and posted on @lxgentlefolkcomic, this series is a love letter to beloved Victorian era lit, with a spotlight on the two couples leading the League. Namely, the Harkers, ala Dracula, and the Nortons, ala Sherlock Holmes,’ “A Scandal in Bohemia.” Mina and Irene are the driving investigative and steering forces here, and still deeply in love with their likewise-infatuated husbands, just like in their canons! What a concept! Alan.

Without spoiling the full character list, just know there are going to be a ton of familiar faces roaming around before you finish reading the first arc. Said arc having conveniently wrapped up just a few days ago! Give the comic and its bonus silliness a look if you’re in the mood for a new comfort-adventure epic.

Re: Dracula – Probably the most well-known and incredible thing to come out of the initial Dracula Daily wave. This podcast is a full audio drama that follows the same format as the Substack, with episodes coming out in time with the entries themselves. And it has an unfairly cool soundtrack. They have a Tumblr with @re-dracula, a site and a Patreon to check out before the series kicks up again on May 3rd. (Also, keep an eye out for their next work, an audio drama in the same style with Carmilla.)

The Soldier and the Solicitor – Another treat from @ibrithir-was-here, this one involves a bit of time travel trouble. Quincey Harker has stumbled out of World War I and into the same dark forest where his father once fled for his life…then runs into the man himself, on that same night. Jonathan Harker, young and starved and lost, who has no choice but to trust this stranger while the Weird Sisters are at his heels…despite said stranger having no shadow. It’s a tasty emotional trek, already complete on Tumblr, but now it’s turning into a Webtoon. While Ibrithir is juggling a number of other stories, she’ll be redrawing spruced up versions of the comic and adding a few new scenes as things unfold.

Substack Stack – You know what’s better than one emailed-out public domain book club? A mountain of them. Just. So, so many of them. You’ll see that a lot of these are finished, but some are still ticking along. Either way, they’re all great picks if you’re craving some more old school lit to fill the void between undead emails.

Frankenstein Weekly – Frankenstein

Jekyll and Hyde Weekly – The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Voyage of the Nautilus – Twenty-Thousand Leagues Under the Sea

Letters from Watson – Sherlock Holmes

The Invisible Mail – The Invisible Man

Letters from Bunny – E.W. Hornung’s short stories of the eponymous Bunny and Raffles

Letters Regarding Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse’s Bertie Wooster short stories, including the novel, Right Ho, Jeeves

…

……

………

…The Beetle Weekly – The Beetle (NOTE: Do Not Read This.)

The Vampyres – A novella I finally wrenched through the gears of self-publication as of March this year. Starring a petite but powerful paranormal cast, The Vampyres, centers on an unscrupulous undead fellow who finds that the revenants of the world are being mowed down by an entity known only as ‘Quinn Morse.’ Between trying to save his neck and figure out where the shadowy bastard came from, the Vampyre in question crosses paths with a new paramour and handy human shield in the form of a grieving Good Samaritan. He’s even polite enough to invite the Vampyre into his home while he’s in dire straits! Surely this will end well. All the info is available here and a little author site is over here.

What Manner of Man – This is the one made for everyone who started out hoping there’d be a real love story with our good friend Jonathan Harker and the Count when he was at his most charismatic. Where that sea of wonders dried up into a mire of horror, What Manner of Man by @stjohnstarling keeps things firmly on the romantic tracks. This Substack stars the letter-writing priest Father Victor E. Ardelian as he finds himself meeting with one enigmatic Lord Alistair Vane. It isn’t long before interest turns into intrigue and intrigue into undead intimacies.

The entire novel has been completed—along with multiple epilogues in the author’s Patreon, allowing readers to choose for themselves just how the uncanny romance plays out in the end—and the Substack now has a number of other gothic goodies piling up in the meantime.  

NONFICTION

Dracula Daily: A Unique Reading Experience: This one comes courtesy of @realwomenofgaming. It’s a short and sweet piece that amounts to a fun snapshot of the entire Dracula Daily ride. A cozy couple-minute read.

‘Dracula Daily’ is the One Substack You Need a Subscription To: Features my favorite Matt Kirkland interview. @mattkirkland, if you’re still floating around on here, thank you for dispatching our vampire newsletter again this year.

Dracula Daily is Tumblr’s hottest new book club: Alright, the ‘new’ part is worn out by now, but this one is still a delightful article to swing back around to. Two years on, this Polygon piece is a time capsule of those early months when people outside our bookworm bubble realized we were all happily receiving letters from our favorite classic gothic horror blorbos.  

“How Mina Murray Became Dracula’s Girlfriend” – Princess Weekes, if you ever read this, thank you, thank you, thank you. I am sending oceans of love and millions of rewatches to your video essay. If you haven’t seen it yet, “How Mina Murray Became Dracula’s Girlfriend” is one of the most refreshing and well-made breakdowns of both the title subject and numerous other issues that have proliferated in the public view of Dracula’s cast and plot as adaptations endlessly warp or outright bastardize the actual novel. An incredibly cathartic watch.  

Literary play gone viral: delight, intertextuality, and challenges to normative interpretations through the digital serialization of Dracula: A mouthful of a title for an even more elaborate article about the Dracula Daily phenomenon. This one is a full-on study that analyzes just what happened within the big bloodsucker book club surge and how its ‘wandering reading practices’ enriched the experience for participants.

 “The Undying Undead: An analysis of the Dracula Daily community for a theory of online community formation and interaction” – We have a thesis on here! Look at that! @sirangelothebestest’s MA thesis used our vampiric book club as the bones for a massive brick of an academic piece that definitely deserves a look.

…And I think I’ll go ahead and cap things here.

This isn’t everything I got recommended, but if I had squashed all of it in here, I think folks’ eyes would start to fall out of their head. I hope you can find something cool to comb through here. Or, if there’s something great I overlooked, tack it onto the list! We’ve got just two weeks to go until we’re off with Mr. Harker. Let’s enjoy our respite before those castle doors close behind us.

[lemonade4wanda]

Isolation

Part two of the craving you series (part 1)

Dark! Wanda Maximoff x reader

Minors dni!! Masterlist°•☆

Summary - you settle into your new job while Wanda undos your life

Warnings - manipulation, dark Wanda, obsessive Wanda, unhealthy obsession, breaking and entering, theft, bribery, catnapping, Wanda calls herself mommy, not proofread again srry

Words - 1.8k

A/n - this took me ages to write srry, I still think part one is better tbh

When you first got the job as Wanda's personal assistant you expected it to be strange like the meeting you'd had in her office prior, the one in which she'd has you begging on your knees. Much to your surprise however Wanda was more professional than ever, keeping to herself and only talking about work matters. Little did you know this was because she was too busy eyeing you up to make conversation.The job itself wasn't much too difficult either perhaps even easier than your original job and for the same wage. Your days consisted of planning phone calls, picking up mail, getting her lunch and coffees, taking notes in meetings, arranging taxis, responding to emails and then collapsing in to bed with your darling cats.

Wanda watched on eagerly as you slipped into a blissful false sense of security over the weeks working. Enjoying every second especially since she got to gaze at you every second of the day. The way you did your hair each morning, how you rolled around your wheeled chair had you been sat too long, the same pen you always fiddled with in meetings, how your nose scrunched when your were confused, the cuteness of your little yawns when you were tired. It was all the little quirks she hadn't got to see in you before that she grew to love now.

Her obsession love for you only grew the more time you'd spent with her. Your little smiles and nervous way of talking had her fighting back blush. Wanda was always ever so excited for you to go out on some pointless errand so she could take a look in your bag, one time even being lucky enough to find your treasured journal. Her favourite page, which she took photos of so she could re read it anytime, read as; 'my boss Wanda has been more kind than I could ever wish for, with giving me a new job instead of just throwing me out onto the streets. I wish she could know how grateful I am to still be employed as she could have easily had rid of me. I've always had such a good gut feeling about her as a boss and it's finally been proved correct.

I'd never admit this aloud as I don't think it's appropriate for work but I think Wanda is possibly one of the most pretty women I've ever met, she always has a radiant smile when she looks at me joined with such cute freckles.' Oh if only you knew how Wanda swooned when she read that entry.

Slowly though this new found closeness was not enough for Wanda, she felt as if your gratefulness was dwindling and the time you spent together was hardly enough for what she craved. For what she needed.

Wanda needed a new way to make you come to her to make you rely on her. She needed something you loved, she just had to think of what. That's when she figured it out, she was watching you through her computer one night as you lay in bed peacefully sleeping beside your cats. She knew how much you loved them, how lost you'd be without them.

Her plan was simple, tell you she was going out for lunch with a friend when really she was heading over to your flat to take Marlo and Nixie. Arriving at your flat she saw the front door unlocked and tutted to herself, how silly you really were lucky she was looking out for you or someone could have just waltzed right into your home. Stepping through the front door she was overwhelmed with a euphoric feeling of being surrounded by you and your things. Briefly forgetting about the cats she went around your room, going through your wardrobe, admiring your jewellery and lying down in your bed. But all that wasn't enough for Wanda she wanted a little souvenir from her trip and that's exactly what she got. Going back into your wardrobe she carefully went through your underwear drawers deciding to take a matching red lacey set with rhinestoned buckle, you wouldn't need them anyway the only person you should be trying to impressing was her.

After successfully stifling your underwear she moved onto getting the cats. She'd brought her own little carriers for them, Wanda was no monster of course she'd never harm the small animals you held so close she'd just keep them safe and away from you for a while. Marlo was easy enough to convince to get in the carrier being friendly and easy going almost just like you however Nixie was another story hissing and trying to claw at Wanda anytime she tried to pick her up. Lucky for her shed planned this having overheard you discussing with a coworker several weeks ago about how Nixie didn't tolerate strangers unless she had some catnip. Needless to say she'd prepared for this event. Smiling to herself as she poured the catnip into the carrier and trapping the unsuspecting Nixie inside.

The next day at work Wanda hid her smirk well when she saw you shuffle in with puffy bloodshot eyes with big dark circles underneath, deciding to feign concern instead.

"Oh darling, what's up? You can tell me anything." A comforting smile on her face makes you sure you can talk to her about the cats.

"My.. my cats went missing and no one can find them." Your voice is hoarse from crying as you speak and more tears threaten to fall from your eyes.

"That's no good at all sweet girl." She stands from behind her desk walking over and engulfing you into a strong hug. "If there's anything I can do to help you at this difficult time don't hesitate to let me know." She tells you in a warm voice as she pulls your head closer into her chest making it hard for you not to become flustered.

"Thanks, thank you miss Maximoff." Your stumble through your reply while burying yourself into her strong body.

A few days later and your cats still haven't returned and you find yourself further falling into despair.

That's when you find a letter in your house. One that pushes you over the edge. The one you never wanted to see. An eviction notice. It felt like the life you'd fought so hard for, one you'd dreamed of since childhood was being torn apart before your eyes. As if God was punishing you for some unforgivable sin.

Wanda watched on eagerly as she saw you find the eviction note in your pile of post, a sick grin contorting on her face at the sight of your misery, at the knowledge she'd be the one to bring you back up. The one to heal you. The one you'd grow to adore, worship and crave as she did you.

Of course she was at fault for that letter after having heavily bribed your landlord to get rid of you. At first he was much opposed claiming you to be 'one of his best tenants' and how you never missed rent but after seeing the cash being offered to evict you he couldn't help himself. Wanda knew he'd break easily after all Money really is the root of all evil.

When she saw you sobbing at the kitchen table, shaking hands clutching the eviction notice she wished she could comfort you and tell you it'd all be okay. To hold you tight like she did not a few days ago. Wiping the tears from your delicate face, once you were hers you'd never feel this kind of pain again. Your suffering was only temporary but still it broke her heart to see you so down. Obviously she'd never regret what she'd done. It was all for you.

When you were next in work you felt and were sure you looked like hell. All your energy had been spent trying to find somewhere new to stay but all properties nearby were so expensive or just boxes. Your regular floral dresses had been replaced with knit sweaters and plain black trousers as if this was your autumn, the beginning of your end. When you saw Wanda it didn't help the way you felt when she appeared more put together than usual, her suits crisper somehow and jaw sharper as if while your life fell apart hers had blossomed.

"Darling, you look ill has something happened?" She asks with a practised act of sympathy, she already knew exactly what had happened after all she'd orchestrated the undoing of your life.

"My landlord evicted me for no reason and-.. and-.." You felt yourself becoming choked up as you struggled to tell Wanda what had happened. She picked up on your feelings almost as if in tune with your mind and quickly pulled you into her before beginning to stroke up and down your back in comforting patterns.

"Its okay, I'm here darling. Nothing bad will happen just tell mommy what's wrong." Your eyebrows raised at what she called herself but for some inane reason decided against questioning her.

"And.. I cant find anywhere to stay and my-.. m' cats are still missing and I'm gonna be homeless." She knew youd begun crying when she could feel damp on her blouse where your head lay. Wanda pulled your head back to face her and stroked across your cheeks in such a gentle fashion that you felt you legs may give out beneath you.

"Well you could always.. nevermind it wouldn't be appropriate." She says with pause to look down at your face. "Oh screw it. I can't stand to see you go homeless over some stupid eviction, y/n if you wanted you could stay in my home until you find somewhere permanent." What Wanda hadn't quite anticipated was the way your eyes lit up at the suggestion, she thought you'd have needed much more convincing than you did.

"I.. if your sure it wouldn't be a bother."

"Sweet girl you could never bother me."

That night Wanda took you over to her house and gave you a tour. It was the biggest and fanciest place you'd ever been. More things existed than you thought one person could need. She had everything from pools to inside tennis courts, acres full of forest land to a sauna. You finally understood what it must feel like to be rich. Wanda claimed her guest rooms were under renovation so you'd have to share her room for now. When you accepted sleeping next to her she was so ecstatic she could barely hide it behind the mask of sympathy anymore.

Tags: @reginassweetheart @alexawynters

[magical-regical]

The Fifth Prince Swallows Poison!

- by Y. Ogiwara

A Vil Schoenheit x gn!Yuu fic.

Word count: 978

Imagine a Yuu who picks up writing. At first it was just a way to record everything that had happened, then it became a way to vent some frustrations.

They moved from journal entries into small 'what-if' scenarios scribbled during a boring lecture. The scenarios slowly linked together to form a coherent plot and suddenly they were three chapters into their first story.

They decide to publish it on an online platform under the name, 'Y. Ogiwara'. The story was a huge hit. In fact it was popular enough to warrant a physical release, suddenly everyone was itching to get a copy. The book spreads like wildfire around campus, especially among Pomefiore students. From there, it spread to students at RSA and eventually to people outside the Isle of Sages.

It gets so popular there's been talk about it getting a live action movie. Auditions were opened for various roles and although hundreds of people tried out, it was unanimously agreed upon that there was only one person who is fit to play the protagonist of this tale.

Vil Schoenheit sat at his desk, staring at the envelope that was sent to him this morning. He hadn't auditioned for anything but roles often came to him regardless. Although not many came in the form of a navy blue envelope sealed with gold wax.

"I suppose I shouldn't expect anything less from that author." He muttered to himself as he traced a perfectly manicured finger over the seal's insignia.

He's opened hundreds of audition results before. They all said the same thing. Why would this time be any different? He's read the original work.

A part of him considered skipping the theatrics, why bother opening the envelope at all? But as much as he loathes to play yet another jealous rival, he felt it his duty to ensure this adaptation was as faithful to its source material as possible. With a sigh he grabbed his letter opener and sliced through the wax.

'To Mr Vil Schoenheit,

We would like to offer you the starring role in the movie adaptation of the popular period fantasy novel 'The Fifth Prince Swallows Poison!' as the fifth prince, Florian Arundel.'

He dropped the letter as if it had burned him. Then quickly picked it up again, reading the line over and over to make sure it wasn't a mistake. Not only was he a main character, he was the protagonist.

After perusing the rest of the letter, he wasted no time emailing his manager to let the producers know he's accepting the role and start negotiating a contract.

On the day of the first day of the shoot, the director gathered all her actors.

"Before we start, I'd like to be transparent with you all. We've received many letters of concern about the faithfulness of this adaptation. I know a lot of you here today are also fans of 'The Fifth Prince Swallows Poison!' and may share these concerns. "

Vil didn't miss the way the director briefly glanced at him when mentioning fans of the show before she continued,

"To ease your worries, there's someone I'd like you to meet today." Then she picked up the walkie talkie clipped on to her belt, "You can come in now."

The sound of the studio doors closing caught everyone's attention. They all turned towards the source of the noise. Vil couldn't believe his eyes. Standing in the doorway, still in their uniform, was Ramshackle's prefect, Yuu.

The director smiled as she motioned Yuu to stand next to them.

"Everyone, I'd like you to meet Yuu Ogiwara, the author of 'The Fifth Prince Swallows Poison!' "

The room erupted into chatter, everyone was amazed and flabbergasted that the author of the sensational novel was so young.

The director laughed, "Quite marvelous, isn't it? I'll have you know, the set, script, and our choice of cast members had to be approved by our dear author before moving forward. We've also gotten special permission from Night Raven College to have them on set with us as much as possible. So rest assured, so let's all work hard to make this a movie with Yuu's seal of approval!"

Everyone cheered and dispersed to prepare for the shoot.

Vil was speechless. So many things just clicked into place for him. The protagonist's knowledge of poisons, their relentless pursuit of their passion, even the supporting characters. A crafty businessman, an heir who loves cake, and a knight with a dragon for a brother. Of course the 'Y' in 'Y. Ogiwara' stood for 'Yuu'. It was so obvious now.

"Potato." He walked up to Yuu who was reading through the day's agenda.

They smiled when they saw him, "Vil-san, what can I do for you?"

"Don't joke and be honest with me. Did you choose me for the role of the protagonist on purpose?"

He tried his best to ignore the pit in his stomach that grew with every second of silence that passed. After what felt like an eternity, Yuu nodded. His heart sank.

"Potato, although I appreciate the opportunity you've given me, you know how I feel about receiving something I haven't earned." he said.

Yuu looked surprised, "I didn't mean it like that. I only had the say in the final approval for the cast. I didn't take part in the actual selection process."

"The fact that Florian Arundel is very similar to you is neither here nor there." they added, a smirk creeping onto their face, "Besides, who says a 'villain' can't be the 'hero' of a story?"

Vil let out an exasperated sigh, sometimes he forgot how scheming Ramshackle's prefect could be.

"Thank you, Yuu. I'll perform so flawlessly you'd feel that Prince Florian himself was standing on the stage."

"I don't doubt it. After all, there's nobody like you, Vil Schoenheit, anywhere at all "

Omake:

"By the way, potato. How did you settle on 'Ogiwara' as your pen name?"

"It actually isn't a pen name at all. Ogiwara's my last name."

"I... wasn't aware you had a last name."

"Eh, it's not your fault. It's not like anyone else ever bothered to ask."

-END-

Divider by: @cafekitsune

[outofsourearth]

• 1 June 2025 •

travel day! didn’t get a lot done unfortunately, but i’m hoping to get more settled until we come back. one last hurrah before settling into hardcore studying for sure.

started reading the grapes of wrath finally, am a wee bit obsessed. truly was a magical plane read.

PREVIOUS ||| NEXT

listening ♬

• electric daisy violin by lindsey sterling

watching 📽

• the night of the hunter (1955) dir. charles laughton

school 🖋

• email college counselor to double check transcript

• write a journal entry in spanish to practice

health ⚚

• completely clean bedroom and bathroom

• mixed cardio exercise in the morning

• close exercise, move, and stand rings

• finish packing all bags for trip

hobbies ⏱

• read the grapes of wrath for fifteen minutes

• work on writing project for half an hour

• read and leave a review for friends writing project

social 🗪

• begin the trip with family

[ftminyoongi]

𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐍 | M. Yoongi

title. our season

summary. where y/n writes letters to min yoongi, the person she knew before Suga and the person she misses dearly.

pairings. yoongi x fem. reader/writer

genre. journal entries, flashback scenarios

warnings. this collection of entries will contain sensitive topics regarding depression, loneliness, abandonment, etc. please read at your own discretion if sensitive to these topics.

╭──────────.★..─╮

*ch. 001, the scar*

╰─..★.──────────╯

2014 January 6

Journal Entry 1

I remember the way your eyes would close when you gave me that gummy smile of yours. The pictures do not show every little wrinkle or crease of that smile. I remember doing everything I could to make you laugh even when you had tears in your eyes. I remember the smile you gave me when I would bring you food that I learned how to cook, just so you had something to eat that day.

I feel like I am forgetting every one of those details as the days go by. You used to be a phone call away but now your phone rings and it says unavailable. I could walk over to your house but now you live in a shared apartment with your band mates. Now I live a whole plane flight away from our hometown and you don't know where.

I wonder if you think of me like I think of you, I wonder if you think of every memory we have made since we were children or the times I was there for you when no one else was. I have and will always be your number one supporter even if we don't talk anymore. I miss you but all I have left are our precious memories.

Do you remember when we were 7 and liked to play in my parents clothes? We would get in so much trouble for dirtying it but it was okay because we ran around the house like we were getting chased by a monster. We did not have anything to worry about as long as we were together.

—

"Yoongi, run! The monster is going to catch us!" Y/n yelled while laughing and grabbing Yoongi's hand. They ran away from Y/n's mom because Y/n was wearing her mothers dress and Yoongi was in her fathers suit.

They laughed together even when they knew they were going to get scolded later by both of their parents but it didn't matter, not now. Y/n was running in heels which resulted in her falling down and hitting her head on a cabinet. Yoongi looked at her and laughed. She hit him on the leg while complaining that it hurt so much.

He soon shut his mouth when he saw blood coming out of her forehead, "Mom! Y/n is bleeding! She hit her head! She is bleeding!"

"You see, you see! This is why I tell you two to not be running around like this but you never listen. Yoongi, I am going to call your mom to come pick you up so get changed. Y/n, sit down so I can clean you up."

Y/n's mother walked away and disappeared into the restroom where they kept the first aid kit. Yoongi sat down next to Y/n and held her hand. She squeezed his hand and complained about how much it hurt. Although his hand was hurting from how tight Y/n was squishing it, he said nothing and just sat next to her, comforting her and telling her it would be okay.

When Y/n's mom applied the ointment and cleaned her wound, Y/n was a crying mess. It burned but she knew she could not do anything about it. Yoongi's parents had gotten there fairly quickly, they only live about 10 minutes away, and he immediately got scolded.

They were blaming Yoongi, even when they knew it was probably Y/n's idea. Y/n kept defending him but her mother said to keep quiet and let the adults talk. She could tell Yoongi was holding back tears but he always refused to cry, at least in front of her. She hated that, but she couldn't force him to cry either.

—

The scar on my forehead has slowly started to fade. May be that is a way of the world telling me it is time to let you go.

Sometimes I think about emailing your company but then I would probably seem crazy if I did. I like thinking back about dumb moments like these because even if I don't remember it detail by detail, I remember what I felt at that moment.

I felt hurt, scared, and mad. Hurt because my head was pounding so hard, I could hear my heartbeat. Scared because I knew that our parents would scold us for hours and I hated seeing you sad. Mad because you laughed at me when I was hurt but now that I think about it, I am happy and sad.

I would do anything to go back and feel all that again, even if it means hitting my head again or getting scolded. At least I would be next to you and we would be able to comfort one another.

You would call my parents mom and dad. That is how close we were. I don't know if you remember that, but I do. Then, as the years went by, you started calling them by their last names and a Mr or Mrs in front of them. It might be a small change but that is when I knew, things were changing between us. Nevertheless, I still miss you.

I miss you so much.

Sincerely,

L/N Y/N

— notes! hi everyone, this is actually a story i wrote back in 2022 on wattpad that i never published. I was reading it and really enjoyed it so i hope you all do too. I only have two and a half chapters written but I plan to write at least five. This will be a short series! Please let me know what you all think. Also, if there are any typos or a name used for the reader, let me know, this story used to have an OC.

[lewismcqueen]

written in red. 04

vampire!lh x black!reader

read from beginning | 03 | 05

summary: you return to Hamilton's mansion to explore further. wc: 2k a/n: it's all coming together baby...not gonna give anything away but we are on the cusp of our first reveal. feel free to leave all theories and guesses in the comments or shoot them in my inbox!

Julia promises that you’ll never have to write another music-related article again, and you assume this means that soon you’ll have a bunch of election-related assignments lined up as an apology for making you write about pop stars and not politics. What it actually means is that you’ve now been assigned a series of op-eds on whatever asinine social media conversation has become relevant enough to get the publication a few extra clicks.

“Close enough, right?” she’d said over coffee, a smile playing on her round face that could almost be mistaken for apologetic. Julie pushes back a dark strand of hair. “You’ll get there eventually. Baby steps.”

You practically slam your laptop closed as soon as you hit your word count for the night, the green journal on your desk becoming more of a reprieve rather than a side project. Your hot pink Hello Kitty bookmark (a previous birthday gift from your editor) sticks out from one of the entries you had planned to finish before you had to take a call. The spine cracks a little as you open it to the same page.

“It’s been a few months now of this little disappearing act. I still find myself wanting to ride around the estate once in a while, even though it’s a terrible idea and I’ll surely be spotted. It’s quiet here, but sometimes I still hear the roar of someone’s car or motorbike in the distance and wish for the noise of the paddock. Charles made fun of me when I told him I still felt young enough to race. But I do!

Another thing I have gotten too used to: the cameras. It’s hard to picture life without a camera in my face, and now I find myself looking for them, even when there’s no chance that anyone would recognize me these days. I have never been afraid of being watched until now, when it should be certain that no one is watching at all. It’s been too long, people’s eyes aren’t as sharp and I’m not on TV all the time anymore. Wearing a hood certainly helps. People still come to the mansion, though. I just saw an advert for a ‘tour’. I don’t get the concept, but it seems to make people happy. They won’t find anything particularly special there, but they still come. Cameras and all. 

Sometimes I imagine myself sneaking onto the grounds in the middle of the night. I’d have a thing of gasoline in one hand, match in the other and just…light the whole thing up. The flames would lap up the front door first, then the first floor and upstairs bedroom. They’d travel up and up until they illuminate the whole sky, like one big bonfire. Maybe I’d even bring s’mores. Wouldn’t that be something? 

-LH”

You close the journal, a grin forming on your lips. The man was funny, you had to give him that. Not a ton of information here, but much is implied. For one, Hamilton lived out the rest of his days hiding in plain sight. How a man so recognizable managed such a feat was uncertain. You’d come across pap photos once where they had managed to catch him even in a hoodie and mask, recognizing him by his hands alone. He must’ve done something drastic to his appearance, in that case.

Second, people used to tour the estate once the man had made it clear that no other part of him would be accessible to the public anymore. That was clearly no longer much of a thing, but the weird stalker motorist and Mr. Posh could have been involved in upkeep in the years after.

Your phone vibrates next to you and interrupts your train of thought. It’s an email from your editor, speak of the devil.

Subject: Only cool people can read this Hey girlie! VIII’s team was deeply appreciative of your beautiful concert review. I know you’re tired of the music stuff, but his album will be releasing soon. His management got in touch with me and told me that the artist wants to personally invite you to the listening party! Highly recommend that you go, just to show your face. Details are attached below. Congrats! Best, Julia M.

You shut off your phone with an exasperated sigh. So much for a free weekend.

-

It’s a bright, sunny morning when you arrive at the mansion. You won’t have time to look around in the evening—you’ll be getting ready to schmooze at a listening party instead of investigating.

The cloudless blue sky seems to create space where there isn’t any, making everything feel like it has opened up. It makes the pointed roofs of the place look more majestic than imposing as you pull into the driveway. The plot of grass in the center is overgrown now, various flowering weeds and tall blades billowing in the wind as you make your way up to the entrance.

It smells just as old and damp inside as it did the first time as you walk past the coffee table where you’d found the journal. The stairs still creek beneath your white trainers, but they don’t seem as loud. Like the house is getting used to you. You climb past the first floor and proceed down a narrow hallway. The wallpaper is a deep green color that must have looked vital when it was new, but is now stained and dull beneath a layer of dust. You notice dark, rectangular indents in it that must have been framed photos or paintings. The floor continues to complain under your feet as you make your way to the end of the hall, where one of the doors to a room seems to have been left ajar.

You peak into the gap once you reach it, and gasp quietly. It’s a study. His study. The wallpaper matches that of the hallway, the room small enough to be cozy but not enough to feel cramped. 

The study toes the line between vague organization and complete chaos. One one side of the desk, manila folders are neatly sorted in a half-open file cabinet. A messy stack of papers is thrown into a crushed cardboard box on the other. You run a hand over the ornate wooden chair positioned in front of the desk, tilted away just slightly. You imagine someone rising abruptly, perhaps to storm out of the room. It strikes you how clean the surface of the wood is. There’s no dust. Has someone been in recently?

The desk itself seems to have been cleared of the usual office debris. There are, however, a couple of scattered greeting cards on the upper right corner. A birthday card, and another card for retirement. Not exactly news. There’s a picture frame on the opposite corner facing the arched window behind the desk, and you round the desk to take a look.

A large group of people stand in front of what looks to be a garage, all clothed in a uniform the same shade as your father’s jacket. Team photo. You’d recognize that Ferrari red anywhere. Your dad would be ecstatic to know that Hamilton had remained on the team right up until the end. 

A ray of light bounces off of two pieces of jewelry sitting next to the photo, and your gaze falls on them next. They’re both rings. One is very classic-looking, a red garnet stone encased in gold. It looks like something a mob boss might wear. The second one looks a bit strange - silver leaves encasing a single white pearl. Very avant-garde, you think. It’s delicate in the way you wouldn’t expect an old sportsman’s jewelry to be. That’s assuming it’s even his. No record of Hamilton ever having gotten married, but you don’t rule out the possibility. You pick it up to examine it more closely, turning it in the light.

You move to pick up the photo again with the ring still resting in the palm of your other hand, blowing off the dust that has created a film over it. Two men are squatting in the very front, and you identify the darker of the two as Hamilton himself. He’s beaming in his red racing suit, a bright yellow helmet between his knees. He has his signature braids tied back into a ponytail. Next to him is a pale brunette man with a square-ish jaw and light, sad-looking eyes. Likely his teammate, whose last name is escaping you. ‘Charles’ something…

Hold on. Charles. Hamilton mentioned him in his journal, making him another potential piece of the puzzle. The two had clearly been close enough to still be in contact long after the man had withdrawn from the public. He might be very old now, but still living. Could he know something…?

Just as you’re about to pull your phone out to look him up, a familiar noise rips through the air. An engine revving. You dare to draw closer to the window and look out into the driveway. Sure enough, he’s there, circling. It’s time to go.

Despite the distance, there’s no way the rider doesn’t see you sprinting out the front door (you really should have found an alternate exit) and towards where your car is parked, whipping out your keys at light speed to unlock it. As soon as you’re inside, you realize that there is metal still digging into your palm. You’re clutching onto something. Slowly, you open your hand.

Fuck, the ring! That’s definitely stealing, but you’ll have to return it a different day. Not like Hamilton will need it back any time soon. 

Pocketing the thing in your jacket, you floor it as soon as you’re able to pull out of the driveway. The motorist thankfully doesn’t appear in your rearview, but you hear him rev his engine in the distance. Like a warning.

-

You smooth a hand over the wide-legged black pants you’re wearing, paired with a form-fitting tube top and red pumps to offset all the black. The listening party was advertised to have been “exclusive”, but the size of the crowd could’ve had you fooled. In the months since you’d published your concert review, it seems that VIII has gained quite a few new friends in high places. You spot a couple of influencers snapping photos with both their phones and flashing digital cameras, several other artists with twice his listeners that you recognize in passing but can’t recall the names of, and two journalists whom you can distinguish by the open laptops and knitted brows. It’d be perfectly fitting for you to be here. That is, if you were a music journalist.

You still aren’t sure why you were invited; you’d made it clear to VIII’s manager over email that you wouldn’t be writing an album review, or live tweeting, or whatever. This wasn’t even your lane anymore. You’d only met the man twice anyhow. 

Speaking of which, the crowd erupts in applause as the man of the hour emerges from backstage. Even here, he’s still got the fencing mask on. The singer has on a black turtleneck, over which he has on a black leather jacket with a baggier fit. They’re paired with equally-baggy patterned denim jeans that fall over a pair of red Vans. He is given a handheld microphone, and you’re startled again by how quiet his speaking voice is even with the added amplifier.

“Thank you all for coming,” he says. “You definitely didn’t have to be here, spending your evenings listening to my music. My music! I mean…it’s still so crazy to think that enough people care about my art and my journey to fill a concert hall, to fill this room. This’ll be my first full album. And so, I wanted to use it to tell a full story that was worth sitting through the full hour to hear. I hope it is. Worth it, I mean. Enjoy.”

The crowd erupts in applause, and he takes a small bow before stepping off the low stage and approaching the scattered tables, where drinks have begun to be served. You expect him to sit near someone on his team, like a producer or even his manager. You raise an eyebrow in surprise when he takes the empty seat next to you. His movements are slow, tentative, his shoulders slightly hunched as he settles onto the leather stool. The fencing mask is facing you. If you could imagine the facial expression beneath it based on his tone, it would be a timid smile.

“Mind if I sit here?”

You tilt your head with a lopsided grin. “You’re already sitting here. And I’m not really sure why, to be honest.”

A soft chuckle. “What do you mean? I owe, like, half my career to you!”

“Please,” you wave a dismissive hand, “You were already gaining traction by the time I wrote that review.”

“But it was a damn good review. I’d be an asshole not to invite you.”

As kind as the gesture is, you regret sitting where VIII could see you, especially as you’re now sipping idly on champagne. You feel his eyes on you the entire time the album plays despite them not being visible. In the middle of the second track, your phone suddenly buzzes in your pocket. You wait until the singer seems focused on the front of the room, and pull it out discreetly.

It’s a notification from a news article, and the headline makes your blood run cold.

BREAKING: HAMILTON MANSION GOES UP IN FLAMES, AUTHORITIES SUSPECT ARSON.

You shut off your phone with a trembling hand, setting it down on your lap as you stare blankly ahead. Someone has just set part of a man’s legacy on fire, and you’re certain that you are to blame.