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hezuart · 2 years ago

Note

Why did you switch from animation to reviews? Also, do you still plan on doing CGI like you mentioned multiple times?

oH BOY..... you may need to sit down for this one

So it all started back in 2012. I was around 14 years old and just saw Rise of the Guardians and Wreck it Ralph. The stories, the characters, the world-building, the animation... now I never really went to movie theaters as a kid, but as a teen I started going and I instantly fell in love.

I went to community college for a few years and made some amazing friends. Loved some of my teachers and we participated in fun events like the 24-hour challenge and Campus Movie Fest. I had gotten in the top picks for Campus Movie Fest at some point and was supposed to go to the Cannes Film Festival in France to showcase my short film, but then the pandemic hit and it got canceled indefinitely.

So get this, for community college, I got a certification in 3D Animation and Video Game development. It's basically an AA degree but without general ed. (Why do you need general ed to get a degree in something? Math and PE have nothing to do with Animation. College is ridiculous. People have to pay you more simply because you were forced to spend more money in college. Wild.) Out of the 20 classes I had taken to get this certification, only 3 of those courses were hands-on 3D animation. And only one of those courses was hands-on video game development and I dropped out of that class because it was PC only and I only had a Mac at the time. I applied to the class without realizing it was accommodating only to PCs. So even my certification is barely reaching the basics for the title of it, but I did take another online course or two for 3D animation which I have a different certification for.

Now even with my 3D animation, I was never taught the physics engine. I was never taught hair or cloth simulation, but I do have modeling, rigging, animating, and texturing experience. For gaming, I have very little experience. I've only modeled things and found my way around Unity, but otherwise, I suck at coding. I hate coding with a passion. Making a video game without coding isn't really possible.

Now, when the pandemic hit, a lot of things were shutting down. I had no idea where I wanted to go next. People kept asking me where I was going for my higher education, but I kept getting warned not to waste money on college if you're trying to become an artist, especially at University. It's a money pit, and competition is so high, you're not guaranteed a job, you're just gonna be in debt. Even colleges like Cal Arts, who charge over $1K per class, I've been told are a "Pay to get in" kind of place. Where the money is used to nab professionals from their work to teach students or talk about their company or programs, and through that, you get a bigger chance to get your foot in the door because you know someone. I've unfortunately been told that's the more realistic way to get into animation: networking. If you're a shy introvert who doesn't know any famous people, you need to be extremely talented and unique to stand out to get the chance of being noticed. I don't really want to suck up to people nor do I want to waste thousands of dollars and 5 more years on college that I may not even need (let alone be able to afford) especially if there are online classes that may be even more valuable.

Now after I got out of college and started applying a few places, I discovered a LOT of unfortunate information.

Most animation these days is done overseas. South Korea, India, Japan, and Canada are the big ones.

Invader Zim, Steven Universe, Miraculous Ladybug, The Simpsons, OK KO, Star vs the Forces of Evil, Kipo and the Age of the Wonder Beasts, Adventure Time, Twelve Forever, and the Powerpuff Girls Reboot were animated in South Korea. The Ghost and Molly Mcgee is animated in Canada.

(The first four seasons of the Simpsons were animated in America until it switched to South Korea and India.)

2D traditional animation is no longer viable. Puppetry is the industry standard because it's the cheapest. Luckily, Toon Boom Harmony has allowed us to push the boundaries of 2D puppetry. Puppetry these days, if done well, can look really great, like Tangled the Series, but if you don't have Toon Boom Harmony, you're probably not gonna be hired.

Not even all 3D is made in the USA. If it's Disney, Dreamworks, or Pixar, then it's usually USA. But streaming service movies, like Sea Beast, Kid Cosmic, The Willoughbys, and Klaus, while they claim to be a "Netflix Original" that "Netflix Animation" animated, that's a lie. Klaus was animated by Yowza! Animation in Canada. The Willoughbys: Bron Animation, Canada. Kid Cosmic: Mercury Filmworks, Canada. Sea Beast: Sony Pictures Image Works, Canada. (X)

Go Go Cory Carson is written and storyboarded in America, but the animation is shipped out to be done in France. Sonic Boom is also French Animated.

Even Sony Pictures? Open Season, Surf's Up, Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, SMurfs, Hotel Transylvania, Over the Moon, The Angry Birds Movie, Sea Beast? Sony Pictures Imageworks is based in Canada. They're doing all the animation for them. It's not animated in America, it's merely funded by them.

I should also clarify: I only want to participate in stylized animated media. I don't want to do CGI for hyper-realistic films, which eliminates most of the animation jobs out there these days. It's just not my thing. The insane amount of details and uncanny valley are just so unappealing, I can't do it.

The closest animation studios are still far away. Most companies are located in LA. I'm over 7+ hours away from there. LA also has a high poverty rate, terrible air quality, is overcrowded, and is just generally not a good place to live, especially if you're low middle class. You're not gonna survive there.

Pixar is located in Emeryville, a few minutes north of San Fransisco city. Emeryville is the most crime-ridden city in that area. They tell you not to walk home alone at night. You're more likely to get robbed there than anywhere else according to the population ratio there. There are a lot of gangs that hide up there, and there's a lot of poverty there, even outside of San Fransisco. It's basically a trash pit. Not an ideal place to live, and commuting through 3-hour SF city traffic is also not gonna work. (X)

I have also been informed some people who work at Pixar are petty that the interns use their facility. Pixar has a heated pool, soccer field, gymnasium, and a few other nice things on their property. I was informed there was a person or two who got mad that an intern was using their basketball court.... when the intern was on break. As though they weren't part of Pixar, as though they had no right to touch the property. Apparently, they also used to make the interns push around little tea carts to serve refreshments as a way to "talk to the fellow animators" to probably get them interacting, but hearing that the interns were basically chored with butler duty to bother the animators hard at work seems like such a forced thing. That makes me uncomfortable. Of course, the person who told me these stories has been working with Pixar for over a decade or two now, so things could be very different as the years went on. Pixar itself on the inside of the animator building is gorgeous. They all decorate their office spaces in crazy ways, it looks like a movie set. But they have a bar and "whiskey club". They're apparently allowed to drink at work and have often had parties that got a little out of hand. There's also an old chain smoker room where the founders used to play poker and spy on people outside of their room with hidden cameras; I've even been inside. I don't think they use it anymore, though I'm not totally sure. Some of this info was fascinating, but the drinking made me uncomfortable. I kinda want to work with sober people here.

The sex ratio in the animation industry is also interesting and unfavorable. 70% of the animation and art school ratio is women, but only 34% of the actual animation workforce is women. 34% female to 66% male. More women study animation than men, but more men get hired and hold positions than women. Animation, ironically, has always been a male-dominated workplace. This unfortunately contributes to the "you have to know someone" or "be rich" to get-in situation. Men know a lot more men and not as many women. So the 30 to 40-year-old guys hire the other guys they know rather than a young poor girl with a passion. This makes it even more difficult for me to get in. (X)

20th Century, Netflix Animation, Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, Bento Box, Vanguard Animation, Universal Studios, Titmouse, 6 Point Harness, ShadowMachine- all LA / South California.

There are a few places I could apply to, but what they do, I just don't care for. Niantic(Pokemon Go), Lucasfilm(Effects), Whiteboard Animation(Marketing), Sharpeyeanimation (Marketing), EA games (Mass Effect, Battlefield, Dragon Age 2, all those hyper-realistic war, sports, or fantasy games.)

So whether it's outside of the USA or within the USA, I need to move. I don't have the money for that yet.

Just find a company that does remote work, right? It should be easy, especially in pandemic times! Wrong. Most animation companies don't permit remote work. It's probably a security issue. But I've done research on this. The only big animation company I've found (so far) that allows remote work (or is HIRING for remote work) is Mainframe Studios in Canada. They have a 3D animation job list, and I guess they focus on animating Barbie movies(???). (X) But that's about it. And even if you're a remote worker, there's a high likely hood you still need a Visa to be allowed to work for a company belonging to another country. So that's a whole other legal process to deal with.

Disney is becoming a huge corporate monopoly over American animation. They bought Blue Sky only to kill them off. (Disney also just recently laid off 7,000 people due to their stock price drop and failed movies they released the past year with deliberately bad marketing for political reasons. (X) Disney also bought Pixar and is pushing for sequels because weird or bad, sequels and terrible live actions make them a LOT of money. Did you know Disney's terrible Lion King CGI remake is amongst the top 10 highest-grossing movies ever made? It's criminal. (X)

Because Disney is such a big name in the USA, there's a huge association of animation = children's media, which is not true. Animation at the Oscars also has its own category, when it's not a genre, is a medium. Disney often wins at the Oscars too because no one sees the other animations. Granted, Disney has an insane marketing budget in comparison, but it's clear no one cares to seek out animation outside of heavy CGI live-action these days. No small-time studios, no limited releases, no anime. The fact that Disney also now OWNS the Oscars is SUS as hell. (The fact that Disney-owned ABC threatened the Oscars, forcing them to cut 8 categories or else there wouldn't be a show that year is wild. There isn't even an oscar for stuntmen. What the fuck, Hollywood?) (X)

Dreamworks nearly went bankrupt and sold itself to Comcast back in 2013. Comcast also owns Illumination. Dreamworks has been focusing on making bad tv show adaptions of their IPs. So yes people, Jack would sooner meet the Minions than meet Elsa. Disney is the biggest corporate monopoly, but it's definitely not the only one. The animation industry in America is snuffing out its competition by buying it out for itself. It's insane the kind of power they have.

Competition is HIGH. Because of this, the only ways to get in? If you're rich or you know someone. Pixar gets over 3,000 intern applications every summer. Less than 100 are seen by actual hiring managers. The most interns Pixar has ever taken in a single year were 12. The least they ever took in a single year was two. A 12 to 3,000 ratio is not favorable. That's a 3% chance to get into a big-shot animation company.

And again, because remote work isn't permissible to new hires, you need to live in the area to commute to the campuses. This is one of the reasons why LA is so crowded.

If you get into an animation company purely remote and maybe even for a different country? You are the luckiest person alive.

Programs are expensive. The animation industry is very strict on what programs they use. The industry standard for 2D puppetry is Toon Boom Harmony; the industry standard for 3D animation is Maya, and the industry standard for video game development isn't as clear but Unity is one of them.

Some of these programs are free, as long as you are a student. If you are attending college or a certain online program, you can use your school-issued email through them to apply to get the program for free for about a year. Otherwise, if you're using it to make your own animations solo?

Autodesk Maya: $225 a month or $1,785 a year (X)

and guess what? Maya removed its free render service. Arnold is now built in by default, however, if you want to BATCH render (Meaning render a full scene or several slides) it will slap it's ugly watermark over it.

Fun fact, this very rendered watermark can be seen accidentally in a single frame for the Kingdom Hearts Frozen cutscene

Well, you need to batch render if you're trying to animate so let's see what Arnold costs- $50 monthly to $380 annually.... are you kidding me?! The rendering PLUG-IN BUNDLED TO MAYA COSTS MORE TO USE THAN THE OWN PROGRAM?! (X)

Now, there are other rendering plug-ins you can probably use with Maya. But they all have their ups and downs and their own costs as well. (X) Pixar's Renderman is $595 per license. I can't seem to get info on Octane. V-ray solo is $39 monthly while premium is around $60 monthly.

Now there IS Blender, an alternative to Maya. It is free and I have it. That is ideal to work in for people like me. I tried it a while back, but I hated the interface windows. It was hard to work on it when you can't close them properly. It's possible they've fixed this in an update, but I haven't touched the program in over three years so I wouldn't know. It's different from Maya a little, so it has ups and downs in comparison too. But Blender is a savior to 3D artists everywhere.

Toon Boom Harmony isn't as bad but still high: Lowest price is $27 monthly / $220 annual and the highest is $124 monthly / $1,100 annual (X)

Unity has a basic version that is free, but Unity Plus is $399 yearly while Unity Pro is $2,040 (X)

So some programs are clearly more viable than others. But imagine you're trying to model, texture, rig, animate, simulate, and render a short film all by yourself in Maya. That's gonna take you over a year or two, and you'll have several thousand dollars out of your pocket by the time your free trial ends. And might I say, for an industry-standard program, Maya sucks. It's almost unusable without those plug-ins for not only rendering but also for the models to even be able to SELECT their BONE rigs.

Do you want to practice on your own when school is out of session? Fuck you! Fuck subscription services! Welcome to capitalist hell, baby!

Again, using Blender is more viable, but you're still going to be basically doing everything yourself. That's gonna take years. Do you have the patience for that? Do I?

Because of the pandemic, movies aren't even hitting theaters anymore. They're going straight to streaming services. Streaming services of which, gain sole rights to and can take media off their platforms at any time without warning. Thanks, Discovery+ ! Does everyone remember the HBO Max Animation & DC purge? It could happen to other streaming services too. Piracy will save the future of animation at this point. (X)

And again, Streaming services like Netflix will purchase films and claim they made them by slapping their logo over it; but no, they either bought the distribution rights or produced them through funding and maybe storyboarding. Often times from a Canadian film studio. (Link again X)

Even stop motion companies like LAIKA are losing money and may have to shut down or be bought out in the future, especially considering how much work and money they put into their films vs. how much money they actually make. (X)

All of this? Naturally made me fall into a depression. My god, the layers of hopelessness. My animation and modeling is pretty average too. I'm decent. I can maybe make a good shot. But I can't blow people away like James Baxter can. I mean, I shouldn't compare myself to people. If I worked really hard, maybe I could get into a good company. But again, I have to move! A part of me gave up. I don't really do 3D animation anymore, though part of me misses it.

I still 2D animate. I'm trying to make a short film and though my college friends who were working on it with me have given up, I have done my best to keep going. Even if it has been produced at a snail's pace for the past three years, I still intend to finish this animation. It's gonna be beautiful when it comes out, and it will be a wonderful portfolio piece regardless.

So with nothing else to do and no other kind of job experience really under my belt(plus my family is prone to covid so getting a job in the pandemic was just kind of out of the question) I decided to go to youtube. I heard some people can make a little money on there, but the truth is I had actually wanted to become a youtuber for a few years prior. I've always looked up to animators and reviewers on youtube, I've loved the stories they tell and their incredibly detailed analysis essays on movies, tv series, books, etc. I wanted to be one of them. I wasn't sure exactly what I'd do, so I just followed the Youtube Partnership program set up which took a few months, and then jumped in! I found I only had the time to upload once every month or two. I had a ton of audio issues and I'm not outputting at the proper 1920 x 1080 quality that I should be doing either. It's a huge learning process that I still haven't perfected, but I'm taking notes to try and get better.

Even though Youtube is fun, I only make $300 a month, and that isn't even consistent. With patreon, I make maybe another $80 or $100 on top of that, so overall $400 a month average. That's really nice and pretty cool! But it's not enough to survive.

Now I work part-time at a coffee shop. My mental health is a lot better and I love my coworkers. I make roughly $400 a week in comparison to the $400 a month. It's still not enough to live off of (the cheapest rent around is over $1,000 a month, not ) and it's still a temporary job in the long run. I intend to work here for maybe another two years to save up money.

But what do I do now?

Am I welcome in animation spaces anymore?

As a critic of popular media, it could be likely that they could fire me or deny my application because of my critique of their past films or tv series. They could see my youtube persona and assume I'm a raging untrustworthy nitpick instead of a passionate, kind person.

Vivziepop's Spindlehorse company? What Viv was doing was a dream. I was so inspired by her. She made her own company, made a super successful pilot, and was even creating more jobs for traditional, high-quality animation. However, for Hazbin Hotel, she required more funding, which is why she sold it off to A24, who now has corporate say in the show. A24 is known for letting creators be more lenient, but otherwise, Viv won't have full control over it anymore unless she managed to get them to sign something over to her; but with the rumors of her being kicked off season 1? I don't know anymore.

Her own company Spindlehorse; they rely on youtube revenue and/or merch sales to fund Helluva Boss. That's a tricky business practice, but it's kept them afloat so far.

However, Spindlehorse is hiring a lot of people as of late. This could be a bad sign; that people might be leaving the company due to potential mistreatment or unhappiness. With the way the show is going, I don't really want to be part of that company regardless, but maybe before season 2 of Helluva Boss, I would have considered applying. Had I made any critique videos prior, there's no way they'd accept me. "Aren't you that one YouTuber that said my writing is bad for season 2 episode 2?" And you expect me to hire you?" Like yeah, that application process would go down well. Not. By critiquing artists' work, some of them are very sensitive. I'd be kicked out for a lot of things, when really, we artists should be critiquing each other all the time, trying to improve. That's how the writer's room always is, ahaha... hours of fighting goes down in those meetings. It's intense, but fun.

But yeah, it's such a shame. Even small companies need to sell out to corporate to survive. Either that or be HEAVILY crowd-funded, which again, can be a slippery slope.

I see a ton of small projects on Twitter looking to hire people, or looking to become a big studio to release a pilot or game. I've joined a few of them, but most are unpaid because of COURSE they are, and then these projects?? Just don't go anywhere. Because it's unpaid. Because we can't afford to work on a project for free. IRL comes first. Some of these projects seem so great but they don't go anywhere, and it's hard to have faith in start-up studios anymore. (Game creators might have a chance, but tv series or films? Good luck, folks.)

At that point, should I just make my own company? I don't have the money or knowledge for such a thing! It's insanely expensive to start a business and get licensing. So much paperwork, so much everything! And the USA Government is so behind in understanding technology. If you want to create a remote business and/or copyright something, you're still required to put an advertisement in a local newspaper about it, even if your business isn't selling to locals. 💀 The number of fees and ridiculous legal hoops you need to jump through... it's a ridiculous waste of time and money. But you need to do it. The question is, am I willing to do it? Am I willing to tackle such an insane thing by myself?

I want to keep my internet persona and IRL persona separate, but can I? I value having a private, quieter life away from the screen. I worry about getting doxxed one day because of the nature of the internet. I worry about people finding my IRL resumes or profiles for work I want to do outside of youtube for security's sake. My art style is unique and very recognizable. I don't have a lot of private art that is worthy of being in a portfolio. But for absolute safety, I'd need to password-protect my websites or portfolios so the public doesn't have free access to them; only companies I'm applying to. But at that point, does password-protecting my resume and portfolio make it less likely I'd be hired due to the inconvenience? Due to the private, hard-to-find nature of my work? Being a YouTuber with great story skills and art skills with a fanbase could be a big plus to getting hired somewhere, but it could also be a horrible disadvantage that would get me fired. It's a double-edged sword that I cannot work around and I don't know what to do.

I've considered the video game industry, but even that isn't ideal. A lot of the indie ones I adore aren't made in the USA. Gris and Monster Camp were made in Spain. Ori and the Blind Forest: Austria. Hollow Knight: Australia. Little Nightmares and Raft: Sweden. LIMBO & INSIDE: Denmark. Outlast, Don't Starve, Spirit Farer, Bendy and the Ink Machine: Canada.

SuperGiant Games did Hades, Transistor and Bastion and is located in SF, but they're not hiring. Janimation, a multi-media company located in Texas isn't hiring. Frederator in New York isn't hiring.

I don't want to work for a studio that does nothing but first-person shooters or sports games. If I want to get into the gaming industry, I probably need to crowdfund and make a company to make a game myself.

If I make my own game, which I've wanted to do for a long time now and still want to... I can't code. I guess I could try to hire someone that could? But a game to the extent I want... I'd need to start small. I'd need to practice. It's several years of work. Will it even be worth it? I don't think I can do it alone. I'd need crowdfunding and workers; which again, here comes the "make my own studio" issue...

Do I even want to animate anymore? I prefer traditional animation in comparison to puppetry. I prefer 2D animation to 3D animation simply because it is more accessible. But even then, I'm finding myself drawn more and more to writing, storyboarding, and character design. If I were a 3D animator, this is mostly what I'd be working with all day: Naked models in an empty room. I'd do none of the physics simulation or texturing or lighting.

Animating naked & bald people all day... I don't know... 3D Animation kind of lost its appeal. You only work on such a small portion of a film, you almost never have the bigger picture. You won't see the final result until the film is done. As an animator, you're almost kept in the dark. Maybe that's how they want it anyway, since leaks are a huge issue they keep quiet under strict NDA.

But yeah, anyway... I'm an artistic digital generalist. I can do almost anything. 3D animation, storyboarding, writing, photo editing, illustration, rendering, modeling and so much more. It's hard to choose what you really want to be in this industry. I feel like Barry Benson dfklgjdflkjg

I don't know what I'm gonna do anymore. There's gotta be a solution to this but I just can't figure it out. I don't want to give up my youtube channel so I can be an animator. I don't want to give up a safer, quiet countryside house to be able to survive financially. Am I even willing or able to move countries? Is my career more important than friends and family?

I think I'm thinking too much about everything. I should start small. Move less than an hour away first and move in with roommates to get a feel for independence instead of jumping into it immediately. Get a job at a small time company, maybe not for what I want at first, but it'll get me some experience and maybe I'll learn some things along the way to understand where I can go next. Take it slow and don't panic too much over trying to be a young big shot. Take things one day at a time? That's my current goal, I suppose.

So you know... to answer your question... why did I switch to youtube for a current career? Because of a classic existential & career crisis in my 20s. Will I ever go back to 3D animation? Maybe. Maybe one day.

#ask #personal #3D animation #career #youtube #long post #i should also say because im a fan artist #i dont have a lot of original work to add to a portfolio which is a HUGE issue #Pixar doesnt even want to look at a portfolio if it has copyrighted material #they want to avoid lawsuits if they see material owned by a different company #you need to be so careful what you put in a portfolio #i mean especially if i use my 2D stuff or illustrations #my illustrations especially #animation #the animation industry #CGI #rant

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so-make-the-moon · 7 months ago

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TW: discussion of suicidal ideation and finances

so generally i have a very optimistic nihilistic vibe irl ok. i'm a ~sensitive gal but also like i've definitely learned to roll with whatever, from my own life problems to like world issues.

i'm on meds ok. they make it so that i can't cry and my pain is exceptionally less intense than it used to be.

tell me why monday i wake up and want to 💀

just 👻

so anyway i'm off work this week because i'd rather be deceased because i feel like nothing matters and i'm struggling for, what? credit card debt? i can't even pay my bills, let alone do anything fun or worthwhile. even my cheap-ass hobbies are putting me further into debt. i can't even do a consumer proposal to try to decrease my debt because i currently have a student line of credit open so i can go to school so that maybe one day i can make more money.

and the financial advisor was NOT HELPFUL

my job has me burnt out to the max and i'd rather be doing almost literally anything else and i apply to so many jobs and don't hear back.

if i wasn't here, suddenly, my husband would at least get my life insurance you know? one less mouth to feed. but also like i'm not GOING to do that but also i DO have a doctor's appointment tomorrow ~just in case~

#personal #not fandom #ranting

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oddbookreport · 2 years ago

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Ok this post started as a reply to another post about how numbers were fake and got away from me a bit, strap in.

EDIT: Public Service loan forgiveness is a federal program in the US where if you work in government for 10 years the government will pay off the remainder of your student loans. This is way more important than the rest of this godforsaken screed and I'd appreciate a reblog to get out information on that.

This is a facebook group run by my dad(!) among others with a ton of useful information in case student loans are something you are struggling with and have a public service job or are looking to change careers.

Ok, Autism time.

TLDR: Companies are incentivized to borrow money because they can reliably only pay back a fraction of it while using it to inflate their stock price. You are disincentivized from borrowing money because you will pay back 120-130% of what you borrowed unless (and sometimes even if) you file for bankruptcy. We actually do need a financial sector but it's badly under regulated, and also international finance has no rules and is an imperial power-fest. Also anti-finance is an antisemitic dogwhistle.

Debt is one of the fuckiest things on the planet and I wrote this for my own edification but in case it helps someone make sense of a new concept that'd be pretty cool.

Proof the numbers in the economy are fake:

No debt is repaid in exact numbers. You borrow 10k, and probably you pay back 11-13k over a number of years. The government borrows 1 trillion dollars and pays back 1.1 trillion dollars over a number of years. A company borrows 1 million dollars, they pay back 1.1 million dollars over a number of years. The numbers almost always go up, this is one reason we have inflation. You can pay less than you borrowed, but only under certain conditions. Inflation is one, such that you pay relatively less though absolutely more. Typically the numbers only go down if someone defaults, but that's usually the worst case scenario because it breaks the kind of promise that the whole economy is based on.

If you default, your debt is sold by the bank to someone else. Not for 10k, or whatever is left on the balance, but for probably 1-2k, a fraction of what it's "worth" and then the person who bought it tries to get you to pay the rest of the balance while the bank reports the loss as part of their tax deductible operating expenses.

Then, you're still on the hook for the 11-13k plus whatever fees the debt collector wants to charge. And if you don't pay those, they do it again, selling what they bought for 1-2k for 4-5 hundred, and so on, until you file for chapter 11 bankruptcy and are no longer legally obliged to pay all of the debt. In practice, this means the government negates the lender's right to collect the full balance in exchange for you going on a payment plan based on a new agreement the government brokers between you and the lender.

After this, because you failed to pay back the full balance, you will find it almost impossible to find banks to loan you money, even if in the end you paid way more than the 11-13k you would have paid back if you had made your payments on time.

In general, if you file for bankruptcy, you lose.

This sort of works in reverse with the stock market: You buy stock and the company pays you back with interest because you are loaning them your money. Companies sell stock at an initial price, auctioning it off in lots to find out what people think it's worth, and what it's worth is based on a) its capacity to increase in value and b) the monthly/yearly interest repayment which is based on the IPO price. Higher price means more money raised for the company but only at the IPO rate because once it's on the secondary market the company doesn't actually see any of the money except as good publicity.

The interest payouts are called dividends, although only a few companies actually care about paying them out anymore. Many companies ignore their dividends and instead just try to pump the price of their stock on the secondary market, aka the stock market. The ratio between stock price and dividends gives you an interesting picture of how the company sees its long term strategy: Car companies which don't really grow tend to have low ratios between stock price and dividend. Tech companies, which are looking to blow up and act like they don't know nobody, tend to have very high stock prices and very low dividends.

Crucially, companies tend to see the stock price as a reflection of the company's health, or "consumer confidence" or something, and a lot of executive pay is tied to it because most of them get paid in stock.

But the number doesn't mean anything concrete (to the company) after the IPO.

The upshot of all this is that while you are expected to borrow and pay your balance back with interest, companies are rewarded for borrowing and then artificially increasing the size of their own debt (stock price) because that's how the people making the decisions get paid.

Crucially, and this is also the assumption when an individual takes on debt, the debt is supposed to enable the debtor to make more money than they would have without it. However, unlike the kind of debt most individuals take out, the debt from issuing stock doesn't (usually) pay off the principle. This is why companies can (sometimes) get away with taking on debt without actually paying it off. You could in principle do this too if you registered as an LLC and issued stock for yourself, but this would be weird and paying strangers dividends might be a big financial burden. Or it might work out, go wild. I'd say the odds of this working are fairly comparable to minting yourself as an NFT and trying to sell it, albeit without needing to use the blockchain. Please ask a lawyer first though.

Also, companies can take on way more debt with way less risk because it is significantly less punishing for a company to file for bankruptcy than a person. The LLC in LLC is short for Limited Liability Corporation. If a company files for bankruptcy, it usually gets to keep most of its assets, because the government in general wants it to keep producing whatever it was producing and its debts are restructured accordingly. Sometimes, however, the assets are sold and the creditors just lose out on any debt over and above the selling price of the assets. Companies can try to shed debts by selling their assets for cheap to a new company, filing for bankruptcy, and then leaving creditors with the losses. This is fraud, but sometimes they get away with it and the "limited liability" part means that even if it is fraud it is legally difficult to go after the people responsible. LLCs are why if your company goes bust, you as an employee cannot be sued, which is generally a good thing. However, the structure of LLCs make it very easy for a company to take on more and riskier debt while you, as an individual are expected to pay off everything you borrow.

In general, if a company files for bankruptcy, the creditors lose.

The Government, apart from regulations, mostly cares about finance for two reasons: Economic stability and Retirement savings.

All this shit is made up. It's a game with very complicated rules, but there's no natural reason for it to work in the particular way that it does. In fact, there are countries like Turkey where it works completely differently, mostly because of religious laws about interest collection. Both Christianity and Islam have complicated histories with finance, but I digress. The point it that finance is almost entirely held up by agreements between extremely fickle parties. Like, there are contracts, agreements, balance sheets, and so on but none of this is pegged to any real asset. (This is a good thing, people who tell you that we should go back to the gold standard are morons) What that means is that the government can decide at any time to forgive people's debts. They can just void the contracts, who's going to stop them? (Be careful if you have a banking system powerful enough to go toe to toe with the government. JP Morgan and a bunch of other wall street people actually tried to overthrow the US Government in 1933.) They need to be careful about this because being able to borrow money when you need it is a net positive, and doing it too often disincentivizes people from lending money making borrowing more expensive. But overwhelmingly, rather than forgiving small dollar loans to people, the government forgives giant loans to companies.

This is partially because the stability of the system, ie creditors getting paid in order to keep a steady supply of creditors, matters more than the fate of any particular player within it, and partially because big fish can manipulate the system to insulate themselves from consequence.

For example, in 2008, tons of first time homeowners had gotten "subprime mortgages," meaning they had borrowed more money than they could afford to repay in order to buy a first home. Increased buying meant prices went up, borrowers were unable to afford the increased property taxes from their suddenly valuable homes, and then were forced to sell, producing even more subprime borrowers. These debts were defaulted on, sold, and then bundled into packages where debt buyers could not see the insolvency of the loans. Then, the bubble burst. People suddenly realized that they had taken out a million dollar mortgage, which they could not afford the monthly payments on, on a house that would only sell for 400k. And they were on the hook for the entire million plus interest.

At this point, the government had a choice: they had to do something about the fact that millions of people had borrowed more money than they could afford. They could have bought the debt, and helped the homeowners pay in a situation similar to a chapter 11 bankruptcy where some assets are protected in order to prevent massive foreclosures, or they could have done what they did which was buy out the debt buyers and help the creditors recoup their losses. Instead of virtually slashing housing prices by forgiving mortgage debt in order to help people stay housed, they assumed the debts of the people who had bought subprime mortgage bundles, mostly banks, while refusing to go after the architects of the scheme who had issued the bad mortgages and sold them under false pretenses.

The biggest reason why this stuff really matters is that at least how the US does things right now, almost all retirement securities are tied to stock price. That's your 401ks, your Roth IRAs, etc. With the exception of Social Security and Medicare, almost all the income seniors have is based on the performance of the stock market. This isn't the worst idea, as compared to previous systems like large savings banks or just having parents cared for by their kids this is A) somewhat resistant to inflation and B) does not shackle predominantly young women to permanent unpaid elder care as was the case under past more patriarchal systems. It's good that in general inflation can't wipe out the savings of someone who saved 100,000 1970 dollars only to have that barely cover a week of cancer treatment. Finance makes that happen.

Also, people want to do things that cost more money than they have, like buy houses, start businesses, and go to college. Businesses also want to do things that cost more money than they have, like build factories, conduct research and development, and offer benefits to employees. Finance makes that happen.

We would still need finance even if (like under communism) the government paid for these things, and whether finance should be entirely public (communism) entirely private (anarcho-capitalism) or semi-private (status quo) is a really complicated question. Finance is not this intrinsically evil thing.

Also because of the aforementioned history of Christians making collecting interest illegal most demonization of finance is directly connected to the Jews, who under medieval law were forced into being bankers in order to avoid forcing Christians from committing the sin of usury (interest collection). Much history of antisemitism in Europe is directly connected to these sorts of laws. The stereotype of the greedy jew, for example, comes from the fact that when medieval governments wanted to raise money, such as for a crusade, they would increase taxes but only on the jews. This forced the jews who were legally forbidden from doing any other job to increase interest rates in order to stay financially solvent, demanding higher rates on borrowing and lower interest on savings. This effectively raised taxes on everyone, but looked like the lord was being generous while the jew was being greedy. Anyone who talks about the intrinsic evils of global finance, whether they know it or not, is parroting Nazi talking points. Bear in mind that the Nazis did the same shit as the medieval lords: by raising taxes on Jews and only Jews, as well as seizing the assets of Jewish refugees, expropriating Jewish owned businesses, and using the Jews as slave labor they funded significant social welfare programs and their invasions of neighboring European countries without significantly increasing taxes on anyone but the Jews, at least until ~1940.

But there are still perverse incentives.

Whenever finance (making money by moving money around) overshadows production (making shit people actually need) bad things happen. Enron was a prime example of this: it was a "holding company" (they owned property that other people used for production without being directly involved in that production) that used an asset shell game to boost their stock price to hundreds of times their dividend, then sold out leaving investors with worthless stock they had bought for thousands of dollars.

Crashes can usually be predicted in advance: the problem is that the government is usually lax with enforcing financial crime. Journalists and economists saw 2008, Enron, the Dot Com bubble, the Asian Financial Crisis, and many other financial disasters coming. Karl Marx argued that Capitalism exists in a permanent cycle of boom and bust as a result of its systematic incentives. There is a history of financial crisis going back to the story of Joseph in Genesis. However, even when governments can see it coming, financial prophylaxis, such as regulation, is usually seen as too expensive even when it is cheaper to prevent a disaster than to clean up after one. Worse, the fact that the bankers almost never get prosecuted means that financial mismanagement and crime continue to exacerbate what might be a natural tendency of markets to rise and fall. This is direct consequence of the structure of LLCs. The higher the highs, the lower the lows, but if you're trying to jump out of the market at the top and then buy up everyone else's assets for pennies at the bottom, you want the cycles to be as extreme as possible. That's the position major companies find themselves in, and it's basically only good for them.

I'm not enough of an expert to have specific policy recommendations, except that in the 90s Bill Clinton overturned a law which separated savings banks from investment banks. Savings banks rely on high interest rates, both on loans they issue such as for mortgages, cars, and so on, and on the personal savings you receive from depositing money in them. Once upon a time (the 90s) you could put your money in a normal bank and get 5-6% interest in a savings account. This no longer happens. Investment banks make their money by taking your money, putting it on the stock market, and collecting the difference. Investment banks are more profitable (mostly for the bank) but more risky (mostly for you), like having someone start a casino with your money. House advantage is there, but they can still lose. Before the 90s, it was illegal for your bank to gamble with your savings on the stock market. Now it is not, and this law is something I think we should bring back.

When it comes to governments and the international system things are weirder.

It's really hard to make a government keep a promise, so they get to flaunt these rules. Also, as a rule, Governments only care about their citizens (sometimes defined very narrowly as non-immigrant, non-prisoner, white, etc) and not anybody else. Anything they do on behalf of any other group is only because it also benefits their citizens for some reason. The only real way to make a government keep a promise is by lawsuit, which they can ignore if they don't like, or war, which most people can't really do for fun. This is why The US Debt strategy for its entire history going back to Alexander Hamilton is to run up the credit card like it's Christmas. The plan as far as the USA is concerned is to borrow money and only pay off the interest rather than the principle. The only way someone is going to get the USA to pay off the principle is by beating them in a war. However, those interest payments are the most reliable debt interest payments in the world, unless the republicans in the house are real fucking numbskulls come June. I'm not exactly smart enough to understand the nuance of why all the other countries on earth let us do this but I think it has something to do with beating everyone on the planet in a war in the last century. However, the US always pays its debts in full, even if as a result of inflation what they're paying back is only part of what it was worth when they borrowed it. This is normal, though whether or not it's ethical depends on your views on american empire.

What's important about this is that things like the US debt clock are shameless right wing propaganda. Someone somewhere will tell you that the government has borrowed like three hundred thousand dollars on your behalf and that they expect you to pay it back. This is then used to argue against government spending. I won't get into fiscal policy but this is a lie, and it's better to keep borrowing and paying off debt than to try to achieve fiscal or financial independence internationally.

International finance is also directly used as an oppressive tool for reproducing capitalism in developing countries. The last thing I'll say on the subject is this: countries with less economic power than the G7 are subject to bullying by larger economies. Every country in the world borrows money, and this is generally a good thing. However, Unicef, the World Bank, and other international institutions set terms on the loans that they offer to countries that were robbed under colonialism and refuse to lend money to them unless they comply with various international standards. This sometimes includes things like requiring girls to be able to go to school, and sometimes requires forcing governments to pay license fees for US patents on things like insulin and oh boy if your prescription drug costs are high in the US just imagine how much money you have to pay for drugs with US patents on them after converting non-US money to dollars. Whether or not you agree with these sorts of policy requirements, they are neo-colonialism and do contribute to American domination over these countries. Just because we're loan sharking them for insulin money instead of invading their country for oil doesn't mean that isn't what it is. Intellectual property is one of the most contentious parts of these sorts of fights, where a country would be happy to void a US patent on behalf of its citizens but it can't without losing access to international loans.

There are lots of problems with finance and it's dialed into the entire modern political system so it's extra fucky to understand in greater detail than this, and while it is strictly speaking politically neutral, the more power you have the more you can manipulate it. There unfortunately aren't great tools the average person has to do about the state of the world financially, but I think it's helpful to know and I hope you enjoyed reading this. Maybe you smack a fascist with something from this if they start talking about how globalists run the banks.

#I was inspired by that BDG video about Healthcare #I swear I'm not an econ bro tho #Also this is what I did instead of writing grad school papers #God international relations is fucking depressing it's like a train wreck that started under the fucking mesopotamians and has not stopped #But actually don't worry about the debt though #unless it's your debt in which case vote democrat if you want to see more student loan forgiveness #How the fuck did I black out and write 3500 words about this #That's 10 fucking pages #This is half a journal article

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mod2amaryllis · 2 years ago

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This might be a bit out of nowhere but any advice or where to begin on becoming a vet tech? I currently have a job as a kennel assistant and I've decided I want to pursue vet work as a career but don't know where to start

that's exactly where i'd recommend you start, at a kennel! build confidence working with animals in a way lower-stakes environment (dogs are usually relaxed and happy at daycare/kennel, compared to the stress of being at the vet). unless you're already at a clinic? ok i'm gonna operate under the assumption that you're at a daycare/kennel.

all the following advice is usa specific. depending on where you live, you might need to get registered by taking the VTNE standardized test. i have an associate's degree in veterinary technology but never passed the test and am therefore not registered. in my area it hasn't been an issue because registration isn't required. nobody really cares as long as you can do the work, and i'm a shit test-taker yet a BALLER tech (also the test costs hundreds of dollars to retake). but again, i do have a degree, completed a full vet tech course, and my only option in the whole state was a private tech university which was waaaaaaaaay more expensive than it should be. like $40,000 student debt in a job that's infamously low paying. if i could do it again, i would NOT go to THAT school, because the other huge thing is: the clinical experience is where i learned 90% of what i needed to excel. if you have a more affordable schooling option like a community college or a university with scholarship options etc, do it!! but be wary of private schools, they're entirely profit driven.

if you're a kennel tech now and want to take the next step, then apply to be a kennel tech AT a vet clinic. kennel techs are usually there for janitorial duties and an extra set of hands for stuff like easy restraint. there's a big ol national veterinary staff shortage, you shouldn't have any trouble finding a clinic that's hiring. EVERYBODY hiring right now. bringing someone on as a kennel tech then eventually transitioning to vet tech/assistant is often the preferred way to hire from a training perspective, because starting with easier responsibilities and focusing on getting along with the rest of the team is less pressure than hiring a brand new TECH tech and loading them up with all the craziness right away.

now as far as the like....emotional side of things, i think i've already spoken extensively on how hard it gets. the first five years of fulltime teching was a roller coaster where the lows were a very very deep level of hell. now it's been 7 years going on 8, i'm part time, i'm the best at what i do, i've stayed with the same clinic and my pay is closer to what i deserve (it'll never ever be high enough lol), so i've finally reached a point of peace with this job. just be prepared for it to get worse before it gets better. one bit of advice from a trainer's perspective: when i'm hiring/training someone, the value that is way higher than your tech skills is how well you get along with the team. are you inquisitive and willing to learn? do you explicitly ask questions when you're not sure about something? are you respectful of doctors? do you keep a level head in a crisis? are you humble and willing to do the gross or mundane sides of the job? are you, like, cool? having those attributes makes you a good candidate, even if you're inexperienced. some of the best hires i've had were total newbies with great attitudes, and some of the worst hires i've had were seasoned techs who think they're hot shit and don't play nice with others. can't overstate how important teamwork is in this field.

if your plan is to eventually become a veterinarian, then this is where my expertise ends. <3 i have never wanted to be a vet, i'm settled in my career, i know nothing about vet school, go with god. <3

#vet tech #veterinary technician #vet med #veterinary medicine #vetblr #m2a #m2answers #i do like my job now but boy howdy did i go through some shit to get here!!!#work stuff

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liminal-librarian · 7 months ago

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To be clear: In a healthy outlook, as long as you're making more than expenses you're good.

In a realistic outlook:

You probably borrowed a lot of money to get started, if you just keep up with interest labour costs in year 1 you're probably doing well. If you're consistently paying down your principal in years 2 and 3 you're good. (And that will also remove your interest costs).

The moment you run out of debt to pay off, "Hey you're 'profitable' now." This is where some people (idea people, probably have 6 more business ideas that they want to try) go for their exit strategy (sell out and let the board hire some MBAs to run the ship). And others smile and say "Finally," Take a much-needed vacation, and come back to continue taking care of the customers that they know and love. And others start looking around within the ranks, or asking around outside, for recent MBA students to hire to train to take over (or start new branches).

You don't *need* to grow, you need to be sustainable, both in terms of your business operations, and in terms of your reputation, and in terms of your employees' mental and physical health (and your own).

Suppose you are a successful company selling aggregate and concrete. In fact, you are so successful, that you enjoy what's called a local monopoly, it's not that you don't have any competition, it's that the competition you already have cannot effectively compete with you (due to transportation costs) or you with them, for the same reason. If you raise your prices, or your nearest competitor lowers theirs, it might become efficient for customers on the fringe of your area to buy from them instead of you, but by and large, your customers are locked in.

Your trucks are paid off, your suppliers have plenty of rock left to quarry, and your situation is 100% sustainable for years to come. Anyone who investigates your stock for addition to their portfolio can rest assured that you're going to produce consistent returns for as long as they hold your stock. Perfect. How does that situation look for investors?

They want to see 'market average or above' returns on their investments. (Does it count as investing if the business is already up and running? don't ask me philosophical questions).

Suppose the market is paying an average of 10% returns, if you're paying 12% dividends, that's a great return, and the demand for your stock will rise until the price equalizes at 120% of what it was before, now (you're paying the same dividend) but it only counts as 10% return. But your situation is very safe, and some people will pay a premium for safety, your stock price will rise further than that, and now you're still paying the same dividend but analysts will say that you're paying 9% returns. How much you paid for your trucks, and how much you pay for rocks to bury in concrete sidewalks hasn't changed, and the amount of dividend you're paying per stock hasn't changed, but the analysts will stop saying 'buy' and instead be saying 'Hold' or 'Sell' (They won't say 'Sell' for political reasons to do with how safe your situation is and how costly libel suits are.) But they'll be right, better opportunities (for investors) will exist elsewhere in the market (if you can muster the expertise and patience to find them). You've become boring. You've done your job and built a sustainable business model, and the market has done its job and found a value for your stock.

In the ideal world, this is every business's dream, to be a just slightly sub-par stock because they are so safe that they are sold at a slight premium.

The name of this philosophy goes by many names but my favourite is 'It's ok to be a utility. Utilities get paid.'

But investors are chasing that 'better than average return' so some of them will sell your stock for no reason, instead of thinking, I bought at the low price, for as long as I keep it I'm making effectively 12% return, but if I sell to lock in that 129% price increase and buy anything else, chances are they'll buy something average, or no, chances are the wider they diversify, the greater chance that their return will be average. Probably some of the things they buy will be stocks that have already reached equilibrium: safe things paying 6%-9%, and risky things paying 10%-20%. On average you don't beat the market. (Efficient market hypothesis)

Should you as a business owner listen to what they're saying about your stock? No. Only people playing the investor games need to worry about that.

What happens next? The CFO in a bid to control costs decides that top management should get paid in stock options, or the board of governors would like you to run a more *interesting* company and push for the same thing.

Now you own stock (or options, almost the same thing.) Now you against your will, are an investor and are incentivised to play the investor game. If you play, you have two options: tell lies to make demand, and therefore stock price jump around, (look, not so boring anymore?) and savvy investors can capitalize on volatility, and as the CEO who makes up the lies, you know which ones are lies. Maybe you can time things and capitalize on the volatility. (This is one of many things that counts as insider trading, don't do this.)

Or you can invest in growth, maybe you can open another plant in the next city over. Maybe this means competing with an established company, or maybe this means opening up / better serving a fringe area along your border. Customers who barely afford your product before can afford it better now, and will build a lot more.

Maybe it means buying out one of your suppliers, and now you run a quarry in addition to a concrete delivery service. Do you have the expertise to do that? Was it a friendly or hostile takeover? Did the employees who had the expertise stay or quit? Are you going to lose their previous customers? Does this increase both companies' reputations or are you going to lose some of your own customers also?

Maybe you can make it work. Does owning one of your suppliers make your position safer or riskier? Does it make it more profitable or less? Time will tell. But while the dust settles it will be 'interesting' in the sense that, the shareholders will have volatility to complain about and bet on.

Or you can be content with being a utility, and not play the stockholder's games.

Growth capitalism is a deranged fantasy for lunatics.

Year 1, your business makes a million dollars in profit. Great start!

Year 2, you make another million. Oh no! Your business is failing because you didn't make more than last year!

Okay, say year 2 you make $2 mil. Now you're profitable!

Then year 3 you make $3 mil. Oh no! Your business is failing! But wait, you made more money than last year right? Sure, but you didn't make ENOUGH more than last year so actually your business is actively tanking! Time to sell off shares and dismantle it for parts! You should have made $4 mil in profit to be profitable, you fool!

If you're not making more money every year by an ever-increasing exponent, the business is failing!

Absolute degenerate LUNACY

#a short illustrative financial fiction no one asked me for

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livingoutloudstuff · 1 year ago

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Scrolling till the end of time....

As of late, my life has become totally unmanageable to me. Maybe not to God, the force, HP, however you want to call it. But I find myself going to work and waking up scrolling for hours, I mean HOURS, because I just don't know how to do life right now. Right now, I have no answers to anything, and it's concerning me. For example, I have this student loan debt that I've had since I graduated college, and all these years later, it's still unmanageable. My health situation is unmanageable, I'm worrying about my rent going up in Oct when his mom comes back, like all these things....so I don't want to eat or get out of my bed in the morning. I'm training for a second restaurant job and I have no idea who my true friends are. I'm understanding that I need to bounce my ideas off of people and I need people in my life, but it's not working with the support system I have. Or maybe this is showing me that I can do this alone? Well, clearly not since this is bothering me so much I can't get out of bed and I can't really feed myself all that well. So, what do I do?

I can leave the city.

I can work 2 jobs, stack up my money, not think about my ex.

I can think about my ex, and be alone.

I can spend every waking moment staring into space.

Here's the thing, I'm trying to keep my nervous system in check and all I'm doing is back to eating stimulants and pastries, complex carbs, things that chill me out, cause I'm like at 100 internally all the time.

So the student loan, I want to explain what happened.

I graduated in 2008, with I guess an archaic version of student loans called FFELP, which is a type of loan that had a 3rd party lender (kinda reminds me of those scalpers or 3rd party people that buy tickets and then jacks up the price for music shows, but whatever), and in 2010 they created Direct Loans, that are directly from the government instead (which is why I always wondered why my sister had "better" loans than me). I say that because my loans didn't qualify for the pause during the pandemic and also has a variable interest rate (which the person helping me had never seen before). So yea I graduated with 7 different loans, 4 private and 3 federal. I have spent the last years paying off the private loans and in 2 years, I will be officially done with those. And now for the past couple of days, I've been dealing with how to handle these loans because: recently 2 of my loans jumped from @2-3% interest to 7.7% and that made me take a deep dive into how to fix this, which is how I found out about this whole mess anyway. Between paying student loans, rent and looking for work, I have been a little bit of a mess, also I can't seem to shake off my life that was, being in a relationship for almost 5 years. So lots of numbers and very little time for fun, it seems. Ok, back to these loans. Between 3 people, I was able to get so much clarity on my student loans: so what I had to do was consolidate my loans to Direct and re-apply for an IDR(F) repayment plan, because the IDR plan that I was on may or may not qualify for the forgiveness after 20 years, because maybe I was not on the right plan? That part is still unclear, though. I have to wait and see the number for next year. So this last person helped me get that in order and I legit cried when that was all done, because here was a person who actually was trying to help me and I am so grateful. It's not like I am not trying to pay my loans, I am an actor, an artist, I have always worked multiple jobs, I've lived with my family and now at my age, it would be nice to live alone - and I still have roommates. My friend says to me why am I not famous/successful like the other people my age are like yet, but I don't know, I'm literally trying to do all the right things in my life. I'm trying to keep a steady head in a chaotic af world, I'm trying to handle these loans that I had for decades at this point, I'm trying to stay healthy so that I can keep doing what I love and that is another thing I'm working on. And so, I have a lot on my plate and yet, someone will take one look at me and say I'm not doing much, sometimes that even comes from my own family. It hurts sometimes to not feel like people really get you. And I guess I'm understanding that maybe it's not for them to get. It's for me to get.

I hope that none of this makes sense. I hope that I have a ton of run-on sentences and all those things I was believed to be wrong from teachers. Because look at me, I'm here in NYC and working my life away it seems, I'm not eating well and I know I need to go to the grocery store, but I literally do not want to get out of bed. I don't want to push myself, I don't want to see the world, I just want to hide and I know that's not the right answer either, but I def feel stuck and I want to feel like I can work and still accomplish my health goals and artist goals and life goals and travel....but right now I'm not doing that. Right now, I've been catapulted to how life was before. And I do realize what I'm doing is not long-term the best for my health. I got all these books to read and maybe what I will do is take a shower, go to a cafe and read before my training shift.

It's really important for me to have people around, but maybe I'm just not really getting what to do. I'm going to put it in the God jar and maybe meditate for a minute.

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makemoneyonline72hrchallenge · 2 years ago

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fortes-fortuna-iogurtum · 3 years ago

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why are all the scholarships exclusive to students studying in STEM fields ://

#like I *get* the importance of those fields #I really do #but also... arts? humanities? please don't forget about them?#especially considering the list I'm currently looking through is one from a liberal arts university #which is also a Christian university of the sort that would probably argue that the arts are dignified under a Christian worldview #and when we ignore them we do so at our own spiritual detriment #but then at least 75% of these scholarships are exclusive to STEM students #and not to be That Person but...#everyone knows STEM fields (in general) pay better than arts/humanities fields (in general)#why not have more scholarship options for the people who are less likely to be able to pay off debt after college?#instead of the people who are pretty much guaranteed a very decent and stable job fairly soon after graduation?#sorry I'm being cranky now I should probably go on to bed and sleep it off #the worship service in the morning will do me good after the week of stressful emotions I've had #gurt says stuff #college #gurt complains about higher education #(that might need to be a new tag actually)#personal #(ok to reblog tho)

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robogart · 2 years ago

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Hi! It's ok if you're not comfortable awnsering- but I was wondering how much you make a month from art on average? I'm going into my second year of art school and I'm getting worried about how lucrative online independent work would be. You seem to have a system that I could see myself enjoying, specially compared to the usual instagram and youtube artists you see thriving from online work. And if you don't want to give out numbers: Does it make a living or do you need/work a second job? Ty <3

Hey! This is a great question and I’m going to apologize in advance because it’s going to be a LONG answer! Mostly because I think this is a great way to shed some light on just more “regular” type circumstances for art jobs things! But I hope I can answer this question sufficiently!! 🙏💖

Okay - so I don’t feel comfortable saying how much I make (I’m superstitious that if I share it in a public space it will be dashed IMMEDIATELY) but I can definitely talk about logistics!

So to preface everything with the simple answer: I DO make enough now to have a living! It’s a SMALL living, but I’m able to focus just on my artwork for now! Which is honestly still wild to me and I AM waiting for the rug to be pulled out from underneath me at any given moment (I am throwing some salt over my shoulder as we speak, just in case)

Now I just want to talk about some general insight points about my current situation/how I got to this current situation:

I have only JUST been able to move out (I’m 28 now)

I live in a shared apartment with my friend (fate was SO on our side and this has been a whirlwind 2.5 months omg)

I have student loans to pay off ($400/month! Gross!) on top of rent/life payments. If you’re in this boat, always keep it in mind!

For 7 years after college, I was working on art (commissions, personal, etc) and also working “part time” (30+ hr work weeks so lmao not really but for employer-benefit reasons 🙄) This is for 7 years after school! It took a bit to get here!

I only had to pay a small rent when I was living at home so while it took 7 years (underpaid, family circumstances, physical/mental health woo!) I WAS able to save enough to move out

most days I can still hardly believe I’m here @ w @;; and it’s a constant working process to figure out how to stay here as well! I work 8-10 hour days, 6 days a week.

And if you’re like me, I don’t come from money, so my parents aren’t in a position to help and I have student loan debt. This has informed a lot of my adult life!

That said, I have been lucky to be in a family with a steady lower-middle class income AND ALSO in a pretty stable/functional family situation so that I was able to move back home for a while to save a bit of money. Not everyone has those circumstances to plan financially! But if you come from a more secure/affluent financial background, some of this might not apply to you - which is fine too.

My advice would be to first and foremost make a budget list for yourself (love my google sheets! I have MULTIPLE budget lists lmao)

Make a budget list that covers what you would NEED to earn each month. And then from there, make a sheet that shows what you DO earn each month from art!

Try to track that income for at least 3-4 months of steady work!

If those numbers continue to meet up, then I would say that’s a green light!

If they don’t meet up - maybe look into some part time stuff! Which, like I said before, can be REALLY solid. And it’s always solid at least for a steady line of income, which is great! 💪✨

And remember to treat your job like a JOB! Clock in and clock out! It’s just a job! Not your life! Keep doing you! 💖 Too many times have I given 100% on jobs when it really should be like 80%! Save your energy for yourself too!

And if you are able, think about moving back home. Saving money is ALWAYS a solid choice. Give yourself some time to figure shit out and get your ducks in a row.

I’m only able to do what I can now because I lived at home for 7 years and worked pretty non stop! (working in the morning to afternoon at my first job, coming home doing chores, and then working from 8-11 on art)

BUT, always know, that we are NOT the same person!! You’re going to have a different path from me and so will many others! But in case you wanted a general picture of my circumstance, I’m hope this helped!

And as always, do NOT feel pressured by my advice here!

Advice is just to help INFORM your OWN decisions! Never to make them for you! 💖

I feel like I both talked about A LOT and I’m ABSOLUTELY missing something from here! 🤔 So I apologize for such a novel!

But if you or anyone else reading this thinks of a question about this type of stuff, let me know! I try to be pretty transparent about this since I feel like I’ve only seen a lot of advice from people not with students debt so it’s always been a little frustrating 😔💦

This work IS possible, but it was a lot of work to get myself here! And it’s still a constant dance of figuring out new things (which is equally exciting and a bit stressful) ^ w ^;;; 👏💖💖💖

But thank you for reading this far omg! I hope it was a little helpful at least! ; w ; 🙏💕

#text #A LOT of text I'm so sorry! TT w TT

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meirimerens · 2 years ago

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I'm sorry if this is a weird question and its totally ok if you dont want to answer it but, if you dont mind, how did you enjoy your experience in art college? Do you have any tips or things to say to those who want to or are considering following the same path? I'm finishing high school in some months and i really dream of persuing art in the Academic's Way but everyday i fear not being able to "get a proper job" or "be a 'productive' functioning member of society" if that's what i decide to do (or even worse: Getting a job, or just getting into college, but starting to dread (making) art. I think this is what messes with me the most. I know how capitalism can make you hate your job and i dont know if i'm ready to. Idk. Go through that when it comes to art-making). I really love drawing and making art and studying and observing art and there's nothing in the world I wish to learn more about than it, but suddenly I feel so much doubt & fear & etc... again sorry if this is too personal, you definitely dont need to answer if you dont feel like it !!! hope you have a good night/morning anyway

Hello my darling i can try to answer that

long to follow:

let me start with a few things/disclaimers of sorts which weighted Quite A Lot in my ability to enjoy college and that might be wildly different where you live:

i went to an art college in France (because. i live here) and through post-highschool education without having to worry once about being in debt in my early twenties. i have no loans to pay back. i could go back to the school and get a master without needing to take one, i could decide to go to a different uni without having to worry about debt. i don't have on my back the Weight you might have, if you're American, to know you might have to reimburse thousands or tens of thousands of bucks in student loans.

another thing: i did not, and do not have still, parental pressure to Get A Job. my parents always have been insanely supportive of my desire to go to art college, and even as i now, today, am overcome with doubts and "damn i should do other studies to have a chance in the job market", they've never been like ":/ you're not gonna go very far in life with that art degree…". they want me to get a job i will Like bc they've accumulated Sucky Jobs their whole lives but they've never mocked me for my art studies path, for my desire to work in the arts/literature. they're not people who value Being A Good Capitalism Pawn And Doing A Sucky 9-5 Until You Die, which i am very thankful for, but it might not be the case for your family, your friends, your culture.

ok now that The Lore is out of the way let me keep going

our art college experiences WILL be fundamentally different unless you go to the Specific one i went in france. the functioning of that school is apparently even very different than its own neighbors within the country, so everything i say will be vastly different for you, period.

art college To Me mostly brought me four things: new ways to see, speak of, decipher, understand, and make art (so valuable); new frameworks to talk about and understand my own art and others (SO VALUABLE!); new skills (namely engraving and photography); and fantastic people to meet. if you do go to art school i Pray you meet people who are so interesting so different from you and do art in such specific ways that you will have your world rocked. to me, just these 4 things fundamentally Changed Me (for the best), and even if i get no money from it i consider that experience so anchored in me.

this is likely a Culture thing, but most of us in art school knew Damn Well we had a lot of chances to not make money with our art LOL. like the recurring joke was "étudiant en art aujourd'hui, chômeur demain" ["art student today, unemployed tomorrow"]. and it wasn't a… big deal? like it wasn't a Hustling Culture at all. number of my classmates were fucking hippies (AFFECTIONATE) LOL.

that's a lot of rambling to say that i wasn't 1) brought up in a Money-Centric family who will push me out of the house so i can go #grind and are perfectly comfortable with me taking time to build a portfolio bc covid kinda prevented me from doing that teehee 2) studying in a Money-Centric school. even if, today as i did then, i'm very much aware i might not have the Best Perspectives For A Bountiful Coin-Getting Future, i still have the ability to Go Back To School if i want without it being a sure way to get myself in thousands of bucks in debt.

our experiences Will be insanely different, so LET ME GIVE YOU A FEW TIPS THAT MIGHT OR MIGHT NOT WORK FOR YOU

connect with people. YES it's hard and harder if you're shy you're gonna have to do it.

go to any lectures or whatnot that interest you so you can 1) connect with people 2) Meet New Interesting Faces

if your school brings artists from Outside for workshops/lectures/whatnot, ask them question… look at their work… etc… some schools have Working Artists as professors so if there's one whose work you love TALK TO THEM ABOUT IT.

if something your professor says Interests you, asks them for more reading on it, more references, etc… even if you don't read em! it will 1) show them you care 2) give you more stuff to come back to if you ever DO want to read em lol.

if your school has photography/engraving/design/whatnot classes that interest you, jump on the occasion. it might Unlock something in you, and that's a skill you can market anyways.

if some students in your school decide to make a little.. school newspaper, or artists' group, or this or that, JUMP ON THE OCCASION. again, that might be a marketable skill later. you can even try to make one yourself!

in case of another covid lockdown: CHECK WHICH OF YOUR CLASSES HAVE POSSIBILITIES TO BE HAD ONLINE! a lot of art history classes can be online, but most classes where you learn a new skill With Your Hands will get fucked over if covid hit. my school relied A Lot on you Coming To It and being on your own in huge rooms and working on your own and then meet professors about it, so then covid hit, a Huge Part of the actual work you did in school got fucked over, which made my 2nd and 3rd years Not The Best. if you can, try to have a good balance of classes you can have online and classes you have in-school so you don't get Too fucked over if another plague hits.

if your school organizes like… exhibitions, or has artist calls for projects… keep an eye on em. participate if you can. i didn't participate in a lot during my own years and i'm sad about it :( don't do like me!!! actually bite life as it comes baby.

damn that's long. ok. tldr: we Will have vastly different experiences. that's unavoidable. here ^ were some tips.

from me to you + something i might abide by: if you Love art hugely, but feel like Making It for money so you can eat will make you feel like shit… well i can understand. i can empathize. at the end of my cursus, most students are kinda expected to become self-employed artists, but as you can guess… rough life. SO! if you love art but Making It For Profit fills you with dread, here are a few ideas from me:

study art history! even if you're not interested in being a professor of that (which is also A Good Thing To Be + my 1st year art history professor easily one of my favorites i've had), museums or galleries or institutions sometimes look for people who've studied that for mediation jobs (when you welcome a public and Tell Em about what they're looking at). you can study art history Broadly or focus on little things. for ex. i might decide at some point to go back to uni for a art history focus and maaaybe even prehistoric art focus.

what else. if you an artist Now try to participate in zines, or make your own even if they suck so you can put that on a resume (and again, IF you go to art school and your classmates/YOU start a little school newspaper… that shit goes in the resume!!!)

if you have any time and/or motivation, get yourself some online classes about like. adobe suite (you can pirate it honestly) or generally softwares that Art People Love. again -> marketable skill babey!!!!

i'm not sure if Any of that is valuable to you. i wish you all the best in this Bitch of a world.

#ring ring (answers)#anonymous

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peace-for-levi · 3 years ago

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you could also just get another job instead of asking for money lol greeeeedy

if i was in ur situation i'd just get another job rather than ask ppl to give u money ffs

Hello nonnie, there are quite a few things wrong with this message. allow me to correct you.

1. I never asked for money in this post. read it again, you'll find that i offered my services in exchange for money. the same way you'd commission people for art, you pay them money for their services. this is how websites like Fiverr work - you pay them money in exchange for the skills and services they offer. i explicitly said i wasn't looking for people to donate. I left no paypal/cashapp or any such link in the post. I would not ask people for money like that as i am very awkward around these things. Read the post again since you clearly didn't read it properly the last time. Get your eyes checked while you're at it.

2. "i'd just get another job rather than ask ppl" ok. Let's break this down, shall we? This is a very ableist comment I feel. You're assuming that people in this position who need a little bit of cash to help them achieve their goal - whatever that may be - are in the position to "just" get a job. Whether it's for an instrument in my case that'll help me with my career, college tuition, rent, groceries, etc. some people come onto tumblr and such websites just for a bit of help. Is that so wrong?

Seems like it is to you.

By this ask, I can assume you think "just getting another job" is very easy to do. what about all the CVs I'll have to send off? GDPR is very hard to navigate in my country, it's so hard to even get interviews and pass the questionnaire stage of the jobs here. If I put down my disability - assuming I had one - I can get rejected. But I am obligated to "inform my employer in advance" of such conditions otherwise it is I who gets in trouble - and subsequently fired - for having a tough time at the workplace. What about these people, hmm? Whose conditions make it hard to get another job, or even work?

I could go on and on about this, and frankly? I think I will.

What about Covid-19? What country do you live in, nonnie? Do you live in a country where Covid is under control? I don't. Hospitality services close here at 5PM. Restaurants that open at 12PM can only stay open for five hours. So multiply your minimum wage by five, and maybe add a bit on to include tips and such? Not enough, no? Sure, I could apply for financial aid. But in my country, if I apply for that, it'll come out of my taxes over the next few years, or something similar - the financial aid I receive during Covid, must be paid back. I'd rather not land myself in debt, personally.

Nonnie, my brother has Covid right now. I currently can't work for the next two weeks. That's two weeks of pay I am already cut down by. Two weeks of pay that would have paid for my groceries and such. And maybe the scraps of money I have left I can put towards my goal. Two weeks of work. And in the school I work in, I have to pay these two works back unpaid because I have students who paid their deposit to this school at the start of the year, and if their teacher has been off, then they won't be getting the full value of their money. That's not fair on them. That's not fair on me either, considering I have no choice to stay at home until everyone's symptoms clear up. I am currently showing symptoms of Covid-19. So these two weeks of isolation are just a precaution since a member of my immediate family has Covid. It is extremely likely I either have or will have it. So add another week on to that. Three weeks without work.

Could you afford to make a rent payment at the end of the month having only worked one week? Not many people can. Some people live paycheck to paycheck. They might have to dig into their savings.

So "just" getting a job is hard. Sometimes sustaining a job in the pandemic is just as hard.

Look into terror-management theory. (Greenberg et al., 1986) from Public Self and Private Self, pages 189 - 212. "The Causes and Consequences of a Need for Self-Esteem: A Terror Management Theory."

"It provides an explanation for prejudice for when mortality salience is high" says Amanda A. Arcieri and I read the cited pages. Arcieri says and I quote, "Particularly relevant for the current COVID-19 pandemic, terror-management theory suggests that in order to cope with seemingly unending reminders of our own mortality and the anxiety that comes with it, we are likely to hold on tighter to our cultural values and worldviews. In doing so, we may become less tolerant of those who are perceived to hold different cultural values."

Watch what you fucking say to me, to my friends, to people on Tumblr and anyone, really.

I work as a teacher part time so allow me to assign you some homework and some light reading so that you can become educated and become an ally to people of all types, disabled or not.

- Hey You - Here Are 10 Examples of Ableism

- 9 Ways Ableism Is Showing Up During the COVID-19 Outbreak

- The Relationships Between COVID-19 Anxiety, Ageism, and Ableism by Amanda A. Arcieri (this is a good study, nonnie, you should read this one.)

- "Ableism "is rife" within Irish workplaces and society, the Irish Human Rights and Equality Commission says."

#answered<3 #awwww my first hate mail!!!#hate mail #tw: abelism #i do hope this made sense lol

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appleciders · 3 years ago

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ok listen you’re SO right about beforeigners, I love the concept and my linguistics-loving heart skips a beat when they break out the old Norse and 19th century norwegian and I just WISH the show did not do so many of the other things it did because it could be so much better. forgive me for barging in I just saw your post and yeah

oh dude NO need to apologize it's so good to find someone who's watched it other than my parents lmaooo. no i so agree with you, there's so much POTENTIAL there and while it's enough to keep me watching i do have so many "imagine if they could do right by this super cool concept" daydreams. this got super long so im gonna stick it under the cut lol

like first off i wish they didn't feel the need to limit it to a cop show? like i get that it's easy and has automatic intrigue and a tried and true success record, but it's kind of lazy. aside from being Very Over the glorification of cops, i really am so invested in the idea of a show that explores the intersections of all the different spheres that were impacted by the repercussions of their worldbuilding? like you have this setup! now show me the teachers and childcarers. the social workers. clothing production and the food service world. the economic differences—the old norse who are trying to rely on the gift economy only to be hit by the closed fist of capitalism. show the tensions and social movements. actually explore the neo-luddite plot instead of throwing it away after a few episodes because yeah, actually, the industrial revolution has fucked a lot of shit up!! dig into it!!

like alfhildr is great and i did watch all of season 1 in a day so maybe i missed it but i still don't even remember if i know why she wanted to be a cop, of all things? it feels like her moral compass—and history as a shieldmaiden of the old ways at a time when christianity was crusading and trying to impose their authority on her people and her way of life—would chafe against that kind of imposed bureaucratic authority on her community. if they desperately wanted to keep the murder mystery component, i would've been more interested in an "alfhildr works a minimum wage job to pay off her student debt, unable to find better paying work because of temporal discrimination. one of her friends/coworkers/neighbors is killed and the authorities don't pay any attention and want to sweep it under the rug. she works to try to solve the murder—often at odds with local law enforcement—while also protecting her other friend/coworker/neighbor because she's wrapped up in the human trafficking of time displaced people. there still can be the intrigue of her origins, too!

in this situation, her co-protagonist is her coworker/neighbor who isn't time displaced, but is a migrant of color. maybe like lars, they have a family they love deeply and complexly, which parallels and foils alfhildr's strong non-biological kinship ties. paired together, the two allow a fuller, more nuanced exploration and interplay between the dynamics of this fictional time-ism or whatever they call it and the already established xenophobia and racism that pervades norwegian society, the differences there, and the shared experiences of poverty. discrimination, loss of home, and adapting to a new language. they of course also have a fun interpersonal repartee like the duo in the existing show!

and like okay sure fine if we're not Overhauling the whole series...if they had to make it a cop drama (which again. formulaic in a way that undersells how cool this setup is!)...they could've still had lars be the above. and in either iteration they should have people of color/immigrants/jewish people in the writers' room! they'd be able to craft the narrative far more fully and address the Bigger Issues i was speaking to in that post (which almost certainly come from a writers room that's almost entirely white).

and as far as season 2 goes....like the first three episodes and the last three episodes were Completely and Entirely different. why did i have to care about the people who were pretending to be the scotland yard people at all again? i don't feel like they had any bearing on the overarching plotlines? why did they have to accuse their only jewish character of being jack the ripper for most of his featured time??? what was the point of starting the season with his family's shabbat prayers if it wasn't going to be relevant?? and if alex was going to play the role he did, it would have been great if he'd been developed. i don't really have any feelings about him,because they never really let us know him. i feel like his twist could've paid off so much more if we'd had an attachment, you know? also, season 2 could've stood to mention alfhildr's best friend like, at least once!

i do wonder - and this will of course be revealed in time - if they learned they weren't going to be able to have a season 3. because the reason i can see for why you would shove so much together like that in such a rushed way (like the reveal at the end!! which i saw your post about and if you want to talk about my dms are open!! bonkers!!) is that you're worried you won't be able to unfold it in later episodes and you want to leave your fans on a kind of satisfied note? like in fairness to them, that's a pretty wild ending stroke!! and i guess if it can't be renewed, i don't feel like i have 16000 unanswered questions, which we would have, if we'd ended without finding out any hint of alfhildr's origins.

but then maybe they were just working within the parameters of 6 episode seasons and tried to bite off more than they could chew lmao! anyway, i totally hear you on the linguistics thing—it's cool. just like the intros—showing all the confluence and syncretism of people from different time periods is cool! and is why i cared enough to write out this whole essay!! anyway you're absolutely not barging in, thank you for dropping by <33

#like for its flaws i do like season 1 a lot #and season 2's final twist DID hit me like a - lmao - freight train #im still reeling!!!#and i am invested in the characters #there's just so much THERE that it drives me crazy #anyway #beforeigners #beforeigners spoilers

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