#a hell of a ride
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beckettj Ā· 1 year ago
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Last Line Challenge
Rules: in a new post, show the last line you wrote (or drew) and tag as many people as there are words (or as many as you feel like). I was tagged by @stardreamer28 so here's the last (two) lines(s) I wrote for my @cssns fic A Hell of a Ride.
ā€œNo, the ghost behind you,ā€ she quipped sarcastically, maintaining external composure despite the elegant waltz her heart was performing in her chest. He stood leaning against the elevator wall yet he went so far as to check over his shoulder.
Tagging: @kmomof4 @belovedcreation @laianely @snowbellewells
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yujateaandpi Ā· 5 months ago
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Dandadan sketch dump of the codependent duo ever. Quiet boy who loves yapping and loud girl who loves listening, my beloved.
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idiots idiots
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chuffedtwobits Ā· 3 months ago
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that new DDVAU chapter sure was something huh
(credit to @kitsuneisi and @xmaruu11 i am but a humble meme maker)
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beautyandraged Ā· 5 months ago
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bloodgutsangelcakes Ā· 2 months ago
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i am fucking crazy, but i am free
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lmaowh-at Ā· 7 months ago
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Lanns n Starks lineups/costumes sketches that I will probably add other houses to. Tywin and Joff & the rest aren't here because I was lazy and Cerseis dress took all of my energy. Don't ask me about inspiration or historical basis for these
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lolibunnn Ā· 1 month ago
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junorsky Ā· 1 year ago
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Praise the Absolute
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I read somewhere that he was supposed to be a traitor. The idea of Zevlor guarding Moonrise Towers haunted me for so long I had to give up
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northstarscowboyhat Ā· 16 days ago
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Outlaws in the Wild East ā‹†ļ½”Ā°āœ©
(AKA, The Habanero origin comic!)
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beckettj Ā· 1 year ago
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Find the Words Tag Game
Tagged By: @laianely - thank you! Rules: Find the words in all your current WIPs and post a snippet containing the words, then tag others with their own words. My Words: Lips, anger, confusion
I stuck to just three WIPs - The Huntsman (snippets in here from across lots of future chapters), A Hell of A Ride (which is a CS fic, despite what the passage below may suggest) and a follow up to Dry as a Bone (which I had no intention of following up until inspiration hit at 1am last night, leading to a few hundred words getting thrown together).
Lips The Huntsman (Hit the jackpot here.) Her lips parted slightly, as if encouraging him, inviting him. They looked so soft, so red, so warm; his thoughts wondered - as they often had in his younger days, hours spent staring at that photograph - to how her lips would feel against his. His heart threatened to explode out of his chest; he had waited for the nearing moment for so long.
He waited no longer. His lips crashed passionately against hers, simultaneously sending electricity coursing through his veins. He allowed himself to get lost in her mouth, the faint taste of cinnamon unfamiliarly sweet, fuelling his craving for her. His heart danced in his chest; her body pressed against his the way their lips clung together, her hand brushing against his jaw as she reached for his hair the same way her tongue brushed against his lips as their kiss deepened, grew more demanding, more desperate for the moment to last.
A Hell of a Ride The elevator was taking too long. The foyer was empty. She pulled him in for a quick kiss, a taste of what was to come. The elevator pinged the very moment of their lips meeting and she stepped back, smiling seductively at Neal; there was a lot more where that came from. She grabbed his jacket, pulling him into the empty elevator with her. The doors shut and he was on her in a flash, his hands cupping her face as they carried on where they’d left off, deepening and exploring their connection.
The elevator pinged.
ā€œThat was fast,ā€ Emma murmured against his lips.
The elevator ride was never that smooth, let alone that fast.
Dry as a Bone follow-up ā€œToday is the last day of January,ā€ he filled her in.
Halle-bloody-lujah.
It had been a long, long month but he had made it to the end. Almost. Just sixteen more hours to go – not that he was on a countdown or anything. He could already taste the sweet, home comforts of rum on his parched lips. A few more hours forgoing his burning cravings and he would stand victorious.
Anger The Huntsman ā€œKillian,ā€ Liam’s voice was softer, desperate, barely more than a whisper. ā€œPlease, please, just come to the jeep with me now.ā€
Killian squeezed his eyes shut. He wanted to. He wanted so badly to go to the jeep, to leave the unnatural stronghold behind them but the more he thought about his father, the more the anger rose up inside him. His dad would never leave him, he knew that for sure, just as he also knew Liam would never let them leave their father behind. It meant only one thing; Silver had taken him from them.
Confusion The Huntsman (Double whammy here with two of the three words. Very short snippet because… spoilers!) ā€œYou’re not going to shoot me, Killian,ā€ the Hatter sounded bored. ā€œI know you.ā€
Any anger which had melted away in his confusion soared back through his veins. His grip tightened around the gun, preparing himself for the recoil, and he fired.
Tagging: @mie779 @snowbellewells @zaharadessert with lost, believe and heart
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sunnysconfusion Ā· 1 month ago
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hitlikehammers Ā· 3 months ago
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POV: when you overhear your boyfriend’s bandmates who ā›”ļødo not like youā›”ļø talking to him—about YOU
ā€œBe real though, Ed. Harrington? You can’t actually be serious, here.ā€ Steve doesn’t like to eavesdrop, like, on principle. Which is to say he totally does it. He just doesn’t wholly approve of it, or think it’s a very good habit to have, while still doing it. ā€œYou got me,ā€ Eddie sighs, longer and deeper than can be taken wholly seriously. ā€œI’m running my longest successful con to date.ā€
rating: t ā™„ļø tags: post-s4, established relationship, corroded coffin, as in: the gang’s all here and being VERY JUDGEMENTAL of eddie’s taste in men, and maybe steve had to pick eddie up from practice today so he overhears it WHOLLY WITHOUT INTENDING TO OKAY?, no one ever REALLY want to hear what the people they love really think of them when said people don’t know who all’s actually listening, true love, declarations of feelings, it’s actually really fucking hard to stand up to your friends, happy endingā™„ļø
for @steddielovemonth day ten: "We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love." —Dr. Seuss
also! Unnamed Freak is Doug for the purpose of this fic because the book can fuck itself I say so šŸ–¤
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ā€œBe real though, Ed,ā€ the voice that filters through, and holds Steve’s hand from pushing the car door shut loud enough to notice, is fairly reasonable, like trying to talk down a suggestion absurd enough to send someone to the ER—which means, of the subjects at hand? It’s gotta be Jeff.
ā€œYou can’t actually be serious, here.ā€
Steve doesn’t like to eavesdrop, like, on principle.
Which is to say he totally does it.
He just doesn’t wholly approve of it, or think it’s a very good habit to have, while still doing it.
ā€œYou got me,ā€ Eddie deadpans, but it’s like, venom-laced. ItĀ stingsĀ just to hear and Steve’s struck with how much his life’s changed since Spring Break, and more still since…well.
SinceĀ Eddie.
Because Steve is well aware the man can cut glass with how sharp his tongue can get, they did go to high school together whether they ran in the same circles or not.
It’s just strikes Steve in the moment that not once since Vecna, has Eddie turns that tongue onĀ him.
Now,Ā otherĀ uses of his tongue—
ā€œI’m running my longest successful con to date. Yep, totally pulled it over on all you bitches,ā€ and where it could be playful, every single word is sharpened to stab, to pierce, to drag the wound out so it bleeds, like a shiv to remind someone where they fucked up, in perpetuity.
ā€œPleaseĀ applaud.ā€
And oh, evenĀ SteveĀ flinches at that tone, and he’s not even the target. Hell, he’s still in the driveway—he doesn’t make a rule of crashing band practice, no matter whose parents’ garage they’re using; Eddie’s van is just regularly in the shop for one thing or another, so he’s gotta come get his man. But he doesn’t, like, push his way in. Sometimes doesn’t even get out of the driver’s seat. He knows Eddie would more than welcome him; has the handful of times he’s ventured to step in to apologize for interrupting but remind him they have to pick up the shitheads. But one: Eddie is alone in his welcome, and like, the polar opposite of the other three guys, who range from staring daggers at Steve to sneering so scrunched up to the nose that it’d give Carol Perkins at her snittiest a run for her money.
And Steve wouldn’t have made it this far if he didn’t know how to recognise where he’s not wanted, and learn how to make the calculated decision of whether to walk or push his way in. And much as he loves Eddie? Steve actuallyĀ wantsĀ his friends to eventually come around from probably, like, muttering ancestral curses under their breaths at him or something.
Plus, from what Steve understands? Jam sessions are personal. Sacred. Eddie had blushes and stammered the first time he let Steve listen in on works in progress; and Steve had rewarded him for the gift of it liberally and with genuine gusto. It’s earned him repeat performances on the regular, but Steve gets it’s a private thing in general. And these guys don’t know him, don’t presently care to—don’t trust him.
He figures it’s like…masturbating in front of someone. The art thing, the depth of making music and stuff. Showing your soul a little bit, losing control for the betterment of the final product.
Now, he and Eddie definitely have masturbated together, it’s actually fantastic foreplay, or even just a deliciously sloppy go on its own. But that’s neither here nor there. And also totally fucking different.
Steve really doesn’t want Eddie masturbating in front of anyone other than him, ever again. Steve’s sure as shit not looking to on his end; definitely not with the other members of Corroded fucking Coffin.
The metaphor might have gotten away from him. But you get the picture.
ā€œNo, man,ā€ and that’s, that’s Gareth’s voice, Steve’s almost sure. Sharper. Concerned but also caustic on the undertow. ā€œIt’s just,ā€ he snorts, the disbelieving sort: ā€œthis can’t be real.ā€
Okay, yeah. Tone plus actual words add up.
ā€œYeah, just,ā€ Doug laughs a little nervous, like of all of them, Eddie’s verbal attack had the most weight in tempering his response of the three of them; ā€œblink twice if you’re being held against your will.ā€
They all chuckle, but it’s toned down the whole way around—even Steve can clock that. These guys are boisterous when left to their devices, Steve’s taken note of that. Mostly watching from the sidelines—almost exclusively when they don’t know he’s there to watch.
Again: does not condone eavesdropping.
Does not try at all to refrain from doing it.
ā€œI mean, you don’t expect us to believe you’re actually fuckingĀ him,ā€ and oh, yeah, okay: Steve was pretty sure he was the topic conversation here, and despite some of the setbacks of recent years, he’s not insecure when it comes to relationships especially.
He’s definitely the only one fucking Eddie. And Eddie’s the only one fucking him.
And while he doesn’t really hold it against these guys for being wary of him—he wasn’t really a perpetrator of their high school woes, but he definitely didn’t do anything to make them less…woeful—so he’s mostly bummed about it for Eddie’s sake, and on principle, but like, seriously.
Doubting Steve successfully scoring Eddie Munson? Like, Eddie’s a catch, Steve of ll people is well aware, but. Steve’s also been long past fishing the shallow end of the pond, y’know?
Give himĀ someĀ credit.
ā€œRight,ā€ Steve narrows back in on what’s happening in the garage that he’s definitely feeling less guilty bout, seeing as he’sĀ definitelyĀ a subject of the debate unfolding, but Eddie sounds…angry. Pissed off in that way he gets when he’s fed the fuck up.
ā€œI’m out,ā€ Steve hears scraping of equipment, the guitar case flipped open; ā€œcan’t actually make it next week,ā€ he adds like a footnote.
It’s clear within a second he’s the only one who takes it with that same…energy.
ā€œBut we have to practice before the open micā€”ā€ Jeff, ever the voice of reason, sounds baffled; on his way to ticked off but not quite there yet.
Eddie, however—as is his wont in this type of mood—could not give two shits where the people around him land on the anger-o-meter; he’s exceeded them, even if only in his own head, and they are all therefore irrelevant to his very responsible decision to put distance between himself and doing something stupid he can’t take back.
It’s not theĀ nicestĀ way to deal but, honestly? Steve’s mostly just proud of Eddie for sticking with a coping mechanism that, while not without consequences, generally works better than most.
ā€œI’ll see you guys in two, then. Probably.ā€ And the case clicks shut, definitive, and Steve’s proud of that too; that Eddie’s not digging a hole when the guys re trying to bait him, intentionally or not, over Steve.
Steve doesn’t need Eddie to complicate his band, his friendships, over what the two of them have. One, it’s not their fucking business. And two?
Steve doesn’t thing he’s being self-important in saying he and Eddie…are bigger, andĀ more, than even the very beat high school band.
Not that Steve would ever ask Eddie to choose or some bullshit like that. And he really does believe Eddie’s going places, if that’s what he decides he wants. But…there’s that.
Then there isĀ them.
Different, like, stratospheres.
ā€œWhat the fuck came up that you can’t make it next week? When we’re staring down our first actual shot at Battle of the Bands this year,ā€ and yeah, of course, if anyone’s gonna try to drag the whole thing out, it’s Gareth. Kid’s got a fucking temper.
ā€œSomething more important.ā€
Which yeah, that’s what was going through Steve’s mind, basically, but—
ā€œTheĀ hellĀ could be moreā€”ā€œ
ā€œI haveĀ plans,ā€ Eddie hisses, viper-quick and fucking deadly, shuts them all right up for it, but then he spins a 180–preens so big Steve swears he can hear his shoulders go back and his chest puff out:
ā€œIt’s my anniversary.ā€
So…yeah. Just because it was where Steve’s head had just been at doesn’t mean his whole chest goes all gooey to hear it said out loud.
And in front of Eddie’sĀ band, who…they aren’t hiding from, but theyĀ haveĀ discussed keeping kinda mum around. For the same kinds of reasons Steve’s been privy to just in the past couple minutes.
But then Eddie’s voice follows the feeling in Steve’s chest like they’re tethered there, and honestly, more times than not?
Steve thinks they just might actually be, and he’s not proven wrong with the way Eddie halfway coos:
ā€œOurĀ anniversary.ā€
ā€œYour what?ā€
Jeff, again, is that middle ground: actually confused, laced with being angry that Eddie’s ducking out.
ā€œSix months,ā€ Eddie answers, soft-like, a little dreamy but in this way that’s rooted somehow still, and in being struck all over again by a level of shock Steve understands, sometimes feels in reverse, but still doesn’t understand being felt so deep as it sounds, now, when it’s applied to…him.
It’sĀ wildĀ y’know?
ā€œI’m like,ā€ Steve hears Eddie’s curls brush against something as he shakes his head—Steve’s money’s on him crouched by his case, or having it already slung over his shoulder:
ā€œNever thought I’d get something to celebrate like that in the first place, but get toĀ keepĀ it, that long without fucking it up?ā€
Steve, again, wants to give up the pretense and walk the fuck in there and kiss the shit out of his boyfriend because one, same, but two?
Dumbass.
Steve goddamn adores him.
ā€œYou mean, withĀ Harrington?ā€ Gareth’s spitting and Steve just shakes his head, a little sad—he doesn’t know what’s crawled up that kid’s ass about him, man; he’s not so much younger that Steve never saw him or didn’t knowĀ ofĀ him but godDamn: the circles he ran in at the time weren’t the ones doing shit yet when they were in the same elementary school, Steve was barely popular in middle school, and come high school the worst anyone he knew did to the frosh was bang them into a locker—not great, but.
Not worthĀ thisĀ shit. And the worst part is if he doesn’t know what’s crawled he did to really piss Gareth offĀ thisĀ bad? He can’t even try to Harrington-charm his way back into the guy’s tolerable category. Like, even his best fucking not-pot brownie recipe didn’t sway the fucker.
ā€œYes,ā€ Eddie is answering, the answer emphatic, like he’s brimming with feeling over it, but then clipped too, like demonstrating that he wasĀ brimmingĀ and is now being forced toĀ clip it all backis very much the intent: ā€œof course I mean with Steve, who the fuck else?ā€
It’s not lost on Steve how Eddie says his name. Ever. All the name.
But right now, how he’s making a point to say it in that warm, kinda…beloved way, when anyone else uses his last name in a way that’s anything-but.
ā€œYouĀ cannotĀ beā€”ā€ Gareth scoffs, Steve can imagine him throwing up his hands, that sort of deal, but then Eddie comes in, and it’s a tone Steve’s only ever hear when he’s about to run a campaign into the ground where the characters may never recover, and if somehow manage it, they’ll wish they hadn’t:
ā€œOh, I am deadly serious.ā€
Because it’s not Steve’s character, but in defense of Steve’sĀ relationship, that tone trickles something molten through his veins and prickles up his spine and…he’s gone have to stick that one in his back pocket to explore at a later date, for sure.
ā€œSix months?ā€
Jeff—and Steve kinda likes Jeff, and not for the reason his bandmates would like, that he kicks around Hawkins after graduation, too, but more because Steve knowsĀ why; that’s to make more money for a college outside Indiana, and Steve thinks that’s fucking cool—but it’s here where Jeff dips fully away from being angry to being stupefied. Steve lets himself smirk at nothing because fuck yes: him and Eddie.
Six whole goddamn months.
ā€œI was actually gonna ask you guys to come over soon, introduce him properly and stuff,ā€ Eddie says, the disappointment in his voice again; Steve’s niggling desire to go and hug him from behind, maybe kiss under his ear a little, back in full force.
ā€œHe picks you up from practice, we see him,ā€ Doug pipes back up, likewise confused, but Steve just takes the useful confirmation that no oneĀ didĀ catch on that he pulled up ages ago, now.
ā€œWe know whoĀ Steve HarringtonĀ isā€”ā€ Gareth snaps, protests in the way that betrays his eye-rolling, his thin-wearing patience.
ā€œNo!ā€
And that comes out of Eddie fierce enough to echo down at least half the block they’re on—seems likeĀ Eddie’sĀ patience was worn out a while ago.
ā€œYou don’t!ā€
And everyone is silent in that way Steve knows all too well: when shit’a gone down but now you’re waiting in the edge for the worse thing to hit.
Then it does:
ā€œAnd it’s a good thing I didn’t bring it up because you dipshits aren’t ready,ā€ Eddie snaps, saysĀ dipshitso different from how he does with the Party,Ā theirParty, their kids; he says it here with something real fucking close to disgust.
ā€œAsking hostage questions, fuck off,ā€ he huffs, and Steve hears Eddie’s footsteps, can’t tell if he’s gonna leave it at that, come find Steve and know he’s been standing there but that’ll be fine, it’s not like Steve wasn’t going to let him know as soon as they left—but then:
ā€œLook,ā€ and Eddie sounds the way Steve sounds when he’s pinching the bridge of his nose to fight a growing migraine, the sting of tears for all sorts of pain behind his eyes, and that hurts to hear from his boyfriend, like, a lot.
It fuckingĀ hurts.
ā€œI am not justĀ fuckingĀ him,ā€ Eddie growls through the bridge-pinching pain; ā€œI mean, fuck yes, IĀ am, but,ā€ and Steve hears the way he swallows all the way down the drive:
ā€œI’m in this for the long haul,ā€ Eddie tells his bandmates like throwing down a gauntlet; ā€œand if you can’t respect me enough, andĀ myĀ choices, that stings,ā€ Steve knows Eddie shrugs then: ā€œbut I’ll live.ā€
Steve’s about a millisecond from saying fuck it, opening the door just to slam it to announce his approach, and then going to physically grab his boyfriend, drag him to the car, and park in the abandoned lot down from the Wheelers’ neighborhood to kiss him senseless because that’s the closest place he can think of and he doesn’t think he’ll make it to either of their homes before he can’t fucking handle himself.
ā€œBut if you are gonna disrespect the manĀ IĀ love, no.Ā AbsolutelyĀ not.ā€
Eddies voice is a deadly sort of whisper. Steve would cower at it, the way it washes through a person, if he hadn’t just…said.
That.
ā€œYouĀ loveĀ him?ā€
And for what Steve thinks is the first time since he climbed out of the car and committed to listening where he wasn’t invited, Gareth sounds…muted. Genuinely asking a question.
Steve, for his own part, kinda expected that he’d be more breathless, heart racing and shit, to hear the answer but in reality?
ā€œOf course I love him.ā€
Steve already knew that in his cells, in his bones.
In his steady, not all-that-fast but particularly-especially-happilyĀ beating heart.
ā€œHave you guys, like, said it and stuff?ā€
And of course Steve already knows that answer, both the literal one and the one that matters more, but he does perk up a bit, curious to hear what—if anything of note—Eddie chooses to give away here.
ā€œHe has,ā€ Eddie says, and now…now maybe Steve should stop listening because this part, the way Eddie says that as flat fact—Steve doesn’tĀ knowthis part beyond speculation. But…
ā€œI wanted to, like,ā€ and eddies voice can’t hide the way he’s gotta have that soft smile, the one he used to hide behind his hair before Steve started pulling it back to see in full, so now he only brings his hair out just to tease, to okay.
ā€œI don’t think I’ve wanted much in my whole life, but he’s,ā€ and Steve thinks he hears how Eddie chews his bottom lip for a second, in the subtlest click of how it slips free before Eddie takes a deep breath and—
ā€œHe doesn’t know what he’s worth,ā€ Eddie starts, a little mournful almost, even, and Steve is unexpectedly glued to the spot in his fucking Nikes.
ā€œHe doesn’t understand that I’d sell the sun and the moon just to keep him,ā€ Eddie’s saying, and with passion. With whole-assĀ honesty. And here, maybe, is where Steve gets to have some of the heart:fluttery feeling after all:
ā€œHe comes out the gate with the wholeĀ you don’t have to say it backĀ and I just,ā€ Eddie sighs, sniffs a little before heaving another breath deep enough to stretch his shirt, which Steve’s not imagining or anything, at all;
ā€œIĀ couldn’tĀ say it, not right then, and risk himĀ everthinking it was something I’d done to like, match. Like that I didn’t mean it with everything I’ve got, when I mean it withĀ everythingĀ I’ve got and then alsoĀ everything else. Like, anywhere. Ever.ā€
Steve realized he’d stopped breathing at some point when the little dots start floating in front of his eyes and he sucks in a shaking breath because: he’s known Eddie loves him. Unshakeably.
But, but allĀ this—
ā€œI couldn’t say it and have him ever wondered if I wouldn’t rip my heart out of my chest just to keep his safe.ā€
And of-fucking-course Steve’s pulse is running fucking riot about how much he’s in love rightĀ now, make no goddamn mistake.Ā Jesus, he—
ā€œFuck.ā€
And Steve has never heard Gareth Emerson pushed just this side of speechless but: that’s the best way Steve can describe the kind of breathless wonder he says it with, like watching a rare bird take flight.
ā€œYou mean it.ā€
And Steve can pick out Eddie’s huffs and categorize them, on demand at this point: he doesn’t need to see the eye-roll to know Eddie’s deemed the expression of pure shock to be so beneath him in this specific context that he’s deemed it unworthy of any more attention.
His heart’s not jumpingĀ thatĀ loud to have missed it. So.
Steve just kinda grins toward the blacktop under his shoes.
ā€œWhy didn’t you,ā€ Doug starts, still—usually, really, in Steve’s limited experience at least—the peacekeeper, the one who’s most invested at the human level when he’s not getting swept up in whatever the rest of the gang has deemed the cool thing to laugh at or make fun of at any given moment.
The huff Eddie gives this time is his incredulous one, which allows for just the slightest bit more consideration:
ā€œThe fuck do you think?ā€
TheĀ slightestĀ bit, being the operative point.
ā€œI’d hoped you’d take it better but,ā€ Eddie adds, and there’s less drama in it than Steve might have expected. He’s being serious with them, and he sounds…disappointed.
Steve kinda want to make some kind of noise, give away his position, and just…hug Eddie tight from behind, if nothing else. Be there. Solid against him, wrapped up around him. Never wavering. Always at his back as much as at his side.
But Eddie’s not done:
ā€œI’m not even asking you to like him, just be decent,ā€ and it sounds like it hurts him to say as much, and Steve knows why; he genuinely despises when anyone thinks Lea with a the very beat thing about Steve. Steve believes this to be n unreasonable standard, and has expressed as much to Eddie who nods and smiles and kisses Steve’s forehead and does absolutely nothing to change his stance, but deep down?
Steve fucking feels so…lovedĀ for it.
ā€œAnd like I said,ā€ Steve can hear the judgement in Eddie’s tone clear as day; ā€œyou’re not ready, and I’m not putting him in that kind of situation.ā€
Steve sucks on the inside of his cheek, lest his grin at the way Eddie is not just defending him, but…protecting him, not his honor but hisĀ heart…
No ones ever even tried that before. Steve may not need it, or maybe he just learned he couldn’t survive needing it.
Getting it now…now it’s just…
Wow.
ā€œAnd I’m in this for keeps, like, this is a forever type thing, so long as he wants it,ā€ Eddie saying, explaining the color of a sky to a small child like what these words are that fundamental, that unalterablyĀ true. ā€œSoā€”ā€
ā€œWe’veĀ known each other forever, man,ā€ Gareth eventually mutters, sounds indignant, but mostly gutted.
Steve knows before it happens that it’s not gonna make a difference.
ā€œAnd we can still know each other. Just not everything, anymore,ā€ and Eddie does sound a little sad but he’s…he’s a monolith, unshakable. ā€œI don’t trust you with the parts that revolve around him, yet,ā€ and Steve feels more than hears the ways his friends deflate, maybe shrink for being deemed so…insufficient. In the eyes of their ostensible leader, no less.
ā€œEddie, we didn’t,ā€ Jeff starts, slow, and he doesn’t sound remorseful but—Eddie has all those coping mechanisms for a reason, right?
Because he’s quick toĀ feeling, good and bad, and sometimes neither is fit to the moment.
Steve can’t help but be kinda glad Eddie doesn’t bother with those mechanisms just now, though, if it means he gets to hear this part:
ā€œI know you didn’t, that’s the fucking problem,ā€ Eddie groans, Steve can see the way he lens, bends at the knees and throws his body around a little in sheer, undiluted exasperation. ā€œ
ā€œBecause I could tell you he’s changed since school, and that’d be true, but that’s not evenĀ it,ā€ and there’s more of the frustrated stomping round, Steve can hear it, but he’s…he’s ready distracted by that thing in his chest that has toĀ hasĀ to be tied up in Eddie’s, too, that thing tugging on him to pay the fuck attention.
And who is he to ignore it?
ā€œhe was never who we thought heĀ wasĀ in school in the first place. He is,ā€ Eddie licks his lips, just to snack them loud:
ā€œHe is kind and funny, and goofy, and such a fuckin’ nerd, and he’s smart in these incredible ways where he’s sees what everyone else misses, and he’s protective as fuck and he’s got a heart of gold,ā€ and Eddie’s voice only gets more heartfelt in its own right that longer he goes and Steve just, he’s, it’s—
ā€œAnd I would tear my skin off just so it doesn’t get so much as a scuff on it,ā€ Eddie ends with the most scathing delivery imaginable: he fuckingĀ meansthis shit. And Steve is going o live and die next to this man, scuffed heart still kept safe to the fucking end, he will swear that shit to anyone who needs to hear it.
He is going to haveĀ a whole fucking lifeĀ with Eddie Munson, and love him for every single breath of it.
ā€œAnd I don’t trust you guys yet not to tempt me to tear off my skin,ā€ Eddie says finally after enough silence to catch his breath, and temper his tone just enough to sound tired; a little dejected. ā€œI don’t trust you withĀ him, and until that changes, we’re still friends,ā€ Eddie sniffs, breathes out long; ā€œyou just won’t get to know about that part of me.ā€
He says it so simple, like he’s not half-cutting off some of the longest, closest friendships he’s ever had, and for Steve.
Steve doesn’t know if it makes him a person, or a really selfish one or whatever, if he doesn’t feel any urge to talk Eddie down, to make him walk it back just a little.
He doesn’t think he cares, though, either way.
ā€œSeems like a reallyĀ bigĀ part of you,ā€ Doug says, deflated entirely.
ā€œIt is,ā€ Eddie answers, unapologetic in a way that swells and sparkles in Steve’s ribs. ā€œHeĀ is.ā€
ā€œYou’d walk from the band?ā€ Of course Gareth asks, but it’s the first time he sounds small in his words. Like he maybe knows the answer, and isn’t so okay with how he got around to it even before Eddie wishes all doubt:
ā€œIn half a fuckin’ heartbeat.ā€ Boom. Done. No hesitation whatsoever.
LessĀ than half-a-fuckin’-heartbeat.
ā€œThat’s not what I’m saying I’m doing right now, but,ā€ Eddie laughs a little, and that probably cuts deeper than anything for the boys, Steve suspects, especially when Eddie makes it unquestionable:
ā€œIt’s not even a question.ā€
And…maybe that drives a knife deeper for the band, but for Steve?
Steve kinda wants to…giggle, or some shit. He hadn’t realized just how much he wanted someone who answered a question like that,Ā exactly like that, who talked aboutĀ SteveĀ exactly like that, without anything to gain, just because they…believedĀ it.
ā€œJesus,ā€ Gareth mutters, sounds kinda blindsided, kinda thrown and then some.
ā€œIf we,ā€ Jeff clears his throat after a long period of quiet; ā€œif we doĀ better, could we meet him someday?ā€ And the way he says it, earnest and shit:, like he wants to at least think about, at least maybe try:
ā€œLike, really meet him?ā€
Like Eddie means enough that he’llĀ try, and that sings sweet in Steve’s veins because goddamn straight, his Eddie deserves that from the peopleĀ hecares about. No matter who or what Steve is,Ā Eddiedeserves that much, andĀ so much more.
But he sounds like even just this is something amazing, Steve can hear the smile in his voice:
ā€œYeah, man,ā€ he answers Jeff, claps him audibly on the shoulder; ā€œI look forward to it.ā€
And shit, y’know what?
So does Steve.
ā€œSee you in two weeks,ā€ and Eddies footsteps follow, guitar slung over his back for the way his weight falls with each one, but then:
ā€œEddie!ā€
That’s Doug; the footsteps stop close to the edge of the garage door as another set rushes to catch up, where he’ll see Steve if he walks much farther, where Steve’s got his hand on the door handle of the car, slowly inching it open to push shut and look wholly-unsuspicious now that Eddie might be followed out to his ride:
ā€œGet him flowers. For your anniversary,ā€ Doug says, tone low like a secret; ā€œI know, like, it might seem like guys wouldn’t want flowers, but,ā€ and Steve actually has to strain to hear the next part:
ā€œMy mom gets my dad flowers on his birthday every year, and he lights up like the Fourth of July.ā€
Steve remembers the first time he ever got flowers. His favorites, even if he thinks he only knew it subconsciously because they were handed to him with the stammering explanation ofĀ I don’t even know if you like flowers, or like these ones, but you look at them when we’re out, like, just walking or something and your eyes linger, andĀ theseĀ ones just remind me of you and—
Apparently, Steve loves hyacinths. And sunflowers make Eddie think of him.
Because of course Steve’s first gift of flowers came from Eddie.
ā€œThanks man,ā€ Eddie sounds the lightest, most genuine Steve’s heard him since he pulled up and got out of the car; ā€œthey’re already ordered.ā€
And Doug chuckles, and Steve?
Steve bites down his smile to less exploding-star levels—if he’d just pulled up he doesn’t have a reason, save thatĀ EddieĀ is enough of a reason in Steve’s eyes, his mind, the way his chest expands just thinking on him—as he pulls the car door closed again, loud enough to be noticed.
For Eddie to walk out of the garage fast as anything and meet Steve with a smile of his own that justifies the fuck out of where Steve’s had started, anyway.
All star-bright and everything.
ā™„ļøšŸŽøā™„ļø
✨also on ao3✨
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btw this is either titled ā€˜halcyon shoegazing’ or ā€˜heart in your shoes’ so if you have an opinion you should maybe tell me or something, my brain’s tired and is resisting decisions rn
✨permanent tag list: OPEN (lmk if you want to be added/removed): @ajeff855 @askitwithflours @awkwardgravity1 @bookworm0690 @bumblebeecuttlefishes @captain--low @depressed-freak13 @dragoon-ze-great @dreamercec @dreamwatch @dreamy-jeans137 @estrellami-1 @goodolefashionedloverboi @grtwdsmwhr @gunsknivesandplaid @hiei-harringtonmunson @hbyrde36 @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @kimsnooks @live-laugh-love-dietrich @mensch-anthropos-human @nerdyglassescheeseychick @notaqueenakhaleesi @ollyxar @pearynice @perseus-notjackson @pretend-theres-a-name-here
divider credit here and here and here
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inkypyon Ā· 1 month ago
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plistommy Ā· 1 year ago
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Steve takes Eddie’s virginity by riding the older boy after a long session of smoking and drinking inside the metalheads cramped van.
He’d praise Eddie on how good he’s making him feel, how big his dick is and how he’s so pretty under him that it makes Eddie moan loudly, strong hands roaming and squeezing the fat of Steve’s ass as he begs to fuck Steve harder.
ā€I need to fuck you, Steve- please, sweetheart-ā€
Steve would kiss him, sloppy and wet as he whines into Eddie’s mouth when the dick inside him hits just right.
When he pulls back, breathless, he picks up the pace and finally lets Eddie buck up to meet his thrusts.
Eddie would just look up at Steve, brown eyes wide and realize he’s so in love with the gorgeous boy on top of him and he never wants to let go. Never.
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emotionalshawtysinthisbitch Ā· 5 months ago
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ice-swan Ā· 5 months ago
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sincerely, I don’t know how am I supposed to
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