#a couple of you asked if I’m okay. yes!! just angsting over these sections

[compacflt]

OKAY I’M DONE‼️ tomorrow‼️

(Subtract about 3-4k [in-progress notes and afterword for my print version—which will be sent to those who asked once i finish editing (might be a minute)!] but here’s proof)

sorry it took so long. I was really unhappy with a couple sections and decided to stop bitching about how unhappy I was with them on tumblr and take the time to rewrite them to a standard that I would actually be happy posting… which I thought would take like a week… silly compacflt… always triple the amount of time I estimate i might need… so sorry I’ve been MIA. ive been working on this the whole time.

but now I’m actually really happy with these. And with their completion, it means this series is over. I think this is an ending I can actually be proud of, now. so for me it was worth it.

also i think i should reiterate, these aren’t supposed to be read all at once, i just thought it would be crazy to post these dozens of individual one-shots as their own chapters. that’s crazy. Lol. so you can treat them like chapters if you want. or don’t. I’m not your mom

these sections (ice/mav retiring, getting married, hangster wedding, retired life etc.) will be posted tomorrow. Thank you for waiting‼️

[cultofdixon]

It is no one’s fault for unexpected tragedies

Daryl Dixon • She/Her Pronouns • Accidents happen every day. That hasn’t changed because of the end of the world…so why are you trying to blame yourself, Dixon? • ANGST/SFW • TW: Major Injuries / Blood Loss / Anxiety Attacks / Nightmares

Requested by: Anon

“You’re going on that run tomorrow right?” Daryl asks his partner who was busy packing for said run, so it was stating the obvious in hopes that Y/N would invite him. But she knows his games.

“Yes, and I’ll be at the Kingdom by nightfall. I’ll manage without you” Y/N smiles leaning into her man when he brings himself close bringing his arms around her. “Think you’ll manage without me?”

“Nah. I’ll always need yea” Daryl felt the twitch of a smile grace his features when Y/N turned around to face him and pressed her lips to his cheek.

As the next morning follows, Daryl leans against the car Y/N will be taking as she puts her bag in the trunk along with the trading good for the Kingdom.

“Don’t cause too much trouble when I’m gone, Dixon”

“You try not to cause any trouble, Dixon” He smiles warmly bringing her into his embrace for a moment holding her and occasionally planting kisses on her temple.

“You’re trying to butter me up to invite you or to distract me long enough to stay”

“Is it working?” He hums bringing his lips to hers as she happily returns the soft gentle kiss before gently pushing herself off of him. “You wound me, sunshine”

“You have work to do as well, love. Better go get it done.” Y/N smiles pulling him off the car before getting into the driver Daryl instantly brought himself to the window stealing one more kiss before getting roped into anything and everything Rick asks of him.

It’s been a couple of hours and Daryl sat on the porch of his home holding the radio in his hand giving it another second before calling in to any open line hoping someone from the Kingdom to answer. Just his luck that Carol was the first to chime back.

“Hey?”

“It’s Daryl”

“Ha, no shit. Did you need something, Daryl?”

“I was uh wondering…if Y/N made it there and if I could talk to her” Daryl frowns hoping for a yes from the other side as he never liked being apart from his partner.

“She’s currently sleeping. Went hunting on her drive over here.”

“Seriously? She didn’t take her hunting rifle”

“You know Y/N. She’s a creative person, she got creative and brought a buck over. You are uh missing out if I do say so”

“Well I can always come—-“

“She’s sleeping! Are you seriously going to come here and disturb her?”

Daryl didn’t like where this conversation was going and grew a bit of a suspicion. “Carol. I was talkin’ to try the buck. I ain’t gonna interrupt her sleep…but a little hunting just for one piece of game shouldn’t have worn her out”

“Well, she did also stop at a few cars along the way to siphon for gas. Yknow, what we are supposed to do while Maggie devises a plan for an alternative fuel source that isn’t solar”

Carol is a smart woman and knows how to knock the archer off her “scent”. “Seriously Daryl. Just come over tomorrow”

“Y/N is supposed to come home tomorrow”

“Well, that’s too bad. Guess she has to stay here so that the two of you go home together. Besides, you were already planning to come for breakfast if Rick didn’t ask you to take the morning watch” Carol took a swing with her guessing and the silence from the other end only confirmed it. The grumble that got picked up also did. “We shall see you tomorrow”

“Tell Y/N I said goodnight.” Pause. “And I love her” Then the line finally turns off.

Carol stood in the hallway to the housing section of the Kingdom that included the mess hall and their designated rooms for their infirmary when she took the call from her best friend. Her best friend could sniff out lies…but didn’t this time.

“Hey,” Carol quickly turned to Siddiq, who did weekly visits to other communities, giving her a concerned look. “She’s awake”

“Okay…Can I be alone with her?”

“Yeah, I’ll be getting her water. Were you talking to Daryl? Did you tell him yet?”

“No…Should I have?”

“If she was dying, yeah. But it’s still…a lot. Maybe in the morning tell him?” Siddiq questioned while passing his friend he didn’t overhear the conversation because Carol knew for a fact Daryl would be coming in the morning.

Whether Y/N had a near death experience or not.

When Carol entered the room to find her friend lay in bed. She looked exhausted, broken in physical and mental places, but brought her attention to the soft steps her friend gave and shown her a smile on her face before it faded when looking at her injuries.

“Can’t believe I almost died over a deer…”

“You did bring us back a plentiful feast from the buck” Carol tried to joke with her to lighten the mood but the way Y/N went from exhausted to emotionless to overwhelmed in the matter of seconds, it wasn’t the time. “Hey hey…I’m sorry I shouldn’t have tried to make light on very recent matters…I’m just. So thankful you’re still alive”

“I could’ve died…could’ve been worse than broken bones and several deep wounds. I’ve…I’ve gotten so used to this life and how grateful I am for the now…how the fuck did those stupid fucking deer not see me?” Y/N sobbed no matter how painful her broken ribs felt when trying to catch a deep breath to calm her, or the throbbing pain from her broken wrist and dislocated ankle. More had happened and more could’ve happened.

Throughout the night, Ezekiel came in to check on Carol who wasn’t going to leave her friend’s side and helped in any way that he could for both his partner and Y/N. Eventually they decided to use the oxygen tank they found to keep some flow steady for Y/N given every chance she tried to sleep she would trigger an anxiety attack making it difficult to breathe and her ribs were already doing a number on her.

The morning came and Daryl had radio’d in before coming so Carol could prepare entirely for what she was going to tell him. But she also prepared for in the moment it was going to fly out the window.

Daryl came through the gates of the Kingdom noticing Ezekiel first as he waves at him giving him a waiting gesture so that he could fetch Carol. But the archer grew curious about the tense atmosphere when he parked his bike, not finding the vehicle Y/N had came in.

“Hey man! You here for breakfast with Carol?” Jerry approaches Daryl as he gave the man a confused look. “Hey? What’s up?”

“Y/N’s car ain’t around. Did she leave?”

“Uh no. She uhm. Got a flat so one of our people is taking a look at it. She’s still…somewhere!” Jerry laughs with a shrug as he quickly takes his leave into the direction of where Y/N really is, knowing Carol is there. But he kept glancing behind him to make sure Daryl wasn’t following.

He wasn’t. But he is investigating further.

But it meant him being a bit nosey in his scary silent way.

A few Kingdom people were tending to a lot of repairs regarding its community and Daryl thought those few would be the best to ask around about any vehicle maintenance but the answers revolved around…

Had to fill one up with gas

The tire repair would’ve been tricky if we didn’t have to spare

Did you know duct tape is a good tool to keep a bumper on?

Nothing really of use until Daryl found a man going through the engine of a familiar model to the car his partner took but he honestly can’t entirely recall what the car was since he was more focused on Y/N.

“Need a hand?” Daryl decided to come off the helpful route to see if he gets more out of the guy.

“Uh” This guy gave the archer a confused look before moving aside giving him access to look for himself.

“There’s nothing wrong with it” Now Daryl was even more confused while looking at the engine before reaching in and taking out a piece of an antler. “Someone hit a buck?”

“More like…a buck and a half. I was just told to get rid of the evidence before trying to repair the car cosmetically” He groans gesturing for Daryl to step back to close the hood as they watch it bounce up. “Yeah this’ll take a while”

“What happened to the person driving it?”

“Oh you should’ve been there. She came in with the buck through the windshield and the deer barely hanging onto the hood. It was fucking awful. I haven’t heard about her condition yet, that Siddiq fella that makes his rounds every few weeks? If he wasn’t here when she came in, she probably would’ve died to her injuries”

Daryl watches the man round the car to check the back of it, leaving him to check the drivers seat and once he opened the door he brings himself to sit so he could reach the glove box finding Y/N’s journal. She always brings that on her drives. His anxiety went from steady to overwhelming in the matter of seconds as he left the vehicle knowing exactly where to go next.

Carol stood in the hallway after being informed that Daryl was on the premises and it will only take him a matter of time before he barged into the building.

“How bad is it?!”

“Daryl—-“ Carol stopped him in his tracks as he instantly fought against her.

“NO! If she’s dead and yea didn’t tell me I’m gonna—-“

“She’s not dead, Daryl!” She raised her voice loud enough for her words to pass his rushing thoughts as he relaxed from trying to toss his friend over to get to Y/N. “She’s in a lot of pain, even with the meds we gave her. You need to be careful going in there”

“H-…Sh…She’s fine?”

“Yes. She’s going to be fine. You need to get that look off your face” The archer instantly scoffed as Carol gripped his shoulders. “She’ll read your expression in an instant Daryl. You know she will. Don’t even try and make this your fault when it’s not. It’s not hers either. Freak accidents happen”

“I know that…w-what makes yea think…” Daryl frowns avoiding her eyes contact knowing damn well she’s giving him a concerned but obvious expression. He tries to make everything his fault when most incidents aren’t.

They all know this.

The door creaked open startling Y/N a bit as she’s been in and out of that exhaustion fog caused by pain and medication. She tried her best to look at what made the noise but when she saw Daryl step in she felt her heart race and the tears threaten to spill.

“H-Hey” She rasped out as Daryl brought himself to sit carefully on the side of her bed taking note of her injuries resulting in his pulling it all together look to one of fear and sadness as he tried to turn his face away but she used her good hand to grab onto his forearm forcing him to look at the connection before connecting their eyes. “Don’t…”

“…I’m tryin’ not to…”

“This…ugh” Y/N tried to stop the tears. “Was so f-fucking freak. It’s no one’s fault but the goddamn buck”

Daryl couldn’t help the short lived chuckle to escape him as he held onto her arm keeping close as he could to her.

“It did a number on your car. Yea lucky I saved your journal”

“Okay it wasn’t a fucking monster deer that tore the car a new one. It was multiple and no where near the glove compartment” Y/N laughs lightly pulling her hand away only to hold her ribs when she laughed. “I’m so not including this in that book”

“I don’t know…it’d be a page turner” He decided to keep lighthearted on the matter for the time being.

Even if the nights they’ve spent there, Daryl found himself awake by her side in case she needed anything. Least he wasn’t bullying himself as he sat awake. He was just. There for her.

[laurenairay]

comes back to me, burning red - F. Andersen

Summary: Kendra Lee and Freddie Andersen lost touch after he was traded from Anaheim – will a surprise encounter bring back their friendship? And maybe more?

I’m jumping in as a pinch hitter for @misshoneyimhome for @callsign-denmark’s Luck of the Puck fic exchange! I haven’t written about Freddie in a little while so it was fun getting back to him – and thanks for answering all my questions! Such a lovely twist of fate after receiving my own fic from her today.

Flashback sections are in italics.

Words: 7.9k

Warnings: discussion of Freddie’s injuries, light angst, friends to lovers, cheesy flirting

Title from: Red by Taylor Swift

~

“Good morning Kendra Lee!”

Kendra grimaced, shutting the door to her yoga studio behind her, her long blonde hair swinging as she turned.

“Full name, first thing in the morning? What did I do?”

Her colleague and friend, Mimi, just snickered, shaking her head.

“Nothing bad, I promise,” Mimi said, smiling.

“Still ominous,” Kendra mused, swiping her staff card to log her as present in the building, “What’s going on?”

“Okay so you know how you moving over to Raleigh with me a month ago was to give you opportunities to do more yoga rehabilitation work?”

“Yes…?”

It was true, as vague as her friend was being. Having worked across yoga studios California for nearly 11 years, Kendra had jumped at the chance of diving more into rehabilitation work within yoga. Being made co-owner with Mimi and her sister Celeste was just the cherry on top.

“I was staying late last night to finish up the stock check and I got a call – specifically for you to do yoga rehab for an athlete needing conditioning to make his way back to playing. I know it’s right up your street, kind of exactly what you want to do more of, so I said yes.”

“You said yes already?” Kendra asked, surprised.

“I know, I know, but this is a huge opportunity. I said yes, with the caveat that I would double check timings with you this morning and let them know your availability for today,” Mimi explained.

“For today?” Kendra gasped.

“Yes, I know, but the guy organising it all for the athlete was insistent – the athlete chose you, off a list of yoga instructors based on feedback from other clients you had, and that’s huge,” Mimi said, wincing in apology.

Kendra took the time to think over her friend’s words, throwing her long blonde waves up in a twisted bun, her typical work hairstyle.

“You’re right. That is huge. Surprising, but huge. I guess, uh, just see what I’ve got this afternoon? I know I’ve got a couple of classes this morning already,” Kendra eventually said, “including…damn it, one that start in 15 minutes.”

Pregnancy Yoga, affectionately known as Moms who Move. Not women to mess around.

“Alright, you go get set up and I’ll call them back. Thanks, Kendra. And sorry for it being so last minute,” Mimi smiled.

“Hey, it happens. Let’s stay positive with it!” Kendra grinned.

As sudden as the work was, it really was where her heart lay, so this could only be a good thing right? Everything she’d been working towards?

“That’s the spirit I love! Get it girl!”

Kendra just laughed her way into Studio Two, her usual room, ready to make sure her class was set up in time.

By the time the afternoon rolled around, Kendra was pleasantly tired. All three classes had run smoothly so far today and there had been no major hiccups (or incidents) with any of her students. Even the Grooving Grandmas class (the adorable name her group of 12 senior ladies gave themselves) had behaved today, which only left her in a great mood.

So great, she lost track of time, until Mimi poked her head into the room.

“Hey, Kendra, your 2pm is here.”

“Oh damn, the athlete?”

“Yeah that’s the one. I’m just finishing up his intake forms if you want to join us,” Mimi said with a smile.

Kendra smiled back, nodding as she followed her friend out to the front desk. If she was being honest with herself, she would’ve liked a bit more preparation time, or even a name to start with. Hell, even the sport the athlete played in would’ve been useful, so she could start thinking of a program for them. Hopefully the athlete would understand the last minute nature of the set up. Hopefully.

But standing there in the lobby was the last person she expected to see. Just as tall and gorgeous and imposing as she’d last seen him in Anaheim, before he left over 7 years ago. He was her athlete?

“Freddie?”

“It’s been a long time, Kendra,” he murmured, smiling.

“You two know each other?” Mimi said, confused.

~

“How are your teaching hours coming along? You can’t have many left now before the next level, right?”

Kendra smiled up at her boss brightly. After her initial 200 hours training, she knew that teaching yoga was going to be her life’s work, even though she was only 21. Having worked insanely hard over the past two years, she was nearly ready to lead classes all by herself rather than as an assistant, and wasn’t that a heady thought? “No, not many left at all. As of yesterday I actually have 990 hours logged.”

“So you’re nearly ERYT 200?” her boss, James, grinned.

The third level of yoga instructor, after two years and 1000 hours of teaching.

“Just 10 hours left!” Kendra said brightly.

“That’s kind of perfect, if I’m being honest. We’ve been contacted by the Anaheim Ducks to run a conditioning class for a portion of the team. There are 20 players who’ve signed up, and the idea is that those who find it useful will sign up for more classes.”

“20 ice hockey players. My God. Will they take it seriously?”

She’d seen plenty of jocks in her 21 years and she knew exactly how much they goofed around when they didn’t care about things.

“Oh yeah, this is mandatory for these players and I’ll be evaluating them to send it back to their trainers. It’s serious – and it’s a big opportunity for the studio too.”

“Yeah definitely. And it’ll be good to see a different type of client for a change,” Kendra nodded.

“We love our yoga moms, don’t front,” James mused.

Kendra just grinned. She did love her beginner’s yoga mom class, he was right.

“It’ll be a big opportunity for you too, to work with them. If enough sign up, I’d like you to take on at least one for solo instruction the moment you have those 1000 hours done, to give you that experience. But if any of them give you any trouble, you let me know, okay? I won’t stand for it, regardless of who they are.”

“Thanks boss.”

“Any time.”

By the time 11am rolled around, Kendra was nervous. Not a bad nervous though, more like butterflies. She was so closed to her next stage of yoga teaching that she could almost taste it. She just hoped that this giant group of giant men would be a positive experience. They arrived in a herd, filling up the room quickly, and Kendra waited at the front of the room off to the side while her boss waited for them all to be ready.

“Alright, thanks for joining us today. I’m James Fields, owner and lead yoga instructor here, and this is Kendra Lee, who will be running this class alongside me,” he started.

She just grinned at the curious looks sent her way. Let them underestimate her, that was fine.

“As you all know, this class is mandatory and I will be evaluating you for your conditioning staff, so pay attention and we’ll all have a great time.”

Kendra watched a few disgruntled expressions popping up and fought not to laugh. Hockey players. She should’ve known they wouldn’t be any different. As her boss continued to talk, Kendra’s eyes drifted across the room, eventually landing on the man in front of her. Well, man was pushing it – this guy couldn’t be more than a couple of years older than her. A broad-shouldered redhead, pretty face, serious expression taking in her boss’s words. This one was paying attention. This one wanted to learn. Good. Even from here she could tell he would tower over her, although at 5ft2 that wasn’t really a difficult barrier. Maybe 6ft4? Maybe? Either way, this guy was going to be a good student, she could already tell.

As if he could sense his eyes on her, the man glanced over, catching her gaze. She froze, a little embarrassed to be caught staring, but he just smiled. Oh what a lovely smile that was. It was all she could do to smile back.

“If you’re all ready then, Kendra will lead you through Sun Salutation to warm up.”

She broke out of her thoughts, waving cheerfully at them all and earning a laugh. “I’ll be gentle, I promise,” she grinned.

~

“Yeah Freddie used to come to classes at my first studio, back in Anaheim about 10ish years ago. It’s been a while,” Kendra nodded, forcing a smile on her face.

Mimi raised an eyebrow but smiled politely at Freddie. “If you head on into Studio Two, Kendra will be right with you. I just need her to sign a form.”

He nodded, following the instructions with a smile sent Kendra’s way, leaving her alone with her colleague.

“Okay what the hell was that?” Mimi asked, wiggling her fingers in the direction Freddie went.

Kendra sighed, hands on hips.

“That was an old friend who I haven’t seen or spoken to in over 7 years. Him coming here out of the blue just threw me off, that’s all.”

“Is he going to be a problem? Because I have no issue with kicking him out if he doesn’t deserve a moment in your company,” Mimi said firmly.

It was times like this that Kendra really loved her friends.

“No, no it’ll be okay. There was no drama, we just drifted out of contact. Sure it sucked, but it was a long time ago? It’ll be fine. Besides, like you said, this is a big opportunity for me to do more with yoga rehab, right?”

Mimi pursed her lips but nodded. “Alright, if you’re sure. But let me know the second that you change your mind, if you need to.”

Kendra just gave her a quick hug, nudging her friend’s hip with her yoga mat, before heading resolutely towards Studio Two.

~

“So you enjoyed the last group class then?”

“I did. Anything to keep my flexibility up as good as it can get, right?”

Kendra just smiled, nodding. “Not that you seemed to have a problem with your flexibility.”

“Well I certainly haven’t had any complaints.”

He froze the moment the words left his lips, looking mortified. It was all she could do to burst into laughter at the horror on his face.

“I am so sorry. That was so unprofessional,” he groaned.

“Honestly, I don’t think I’ve laughed so hard since I’ve started here,” she said, still giggling, “You have nothing to worry about Mr Andersen.”

“Please, call me Freddie?” he asked, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly as his cheeks flamed red.

“Sure thing. Now let’s talk solo session scheduling – what works best for you?”

~

Kendra took a shaky breath as the memories of her first solo yoga session with Freddie washed over her, before steeling herself, pushing open the studio door. Freddie was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the floor on the mat he’d brought with him, and immediately smiled up at her, loosening a bit of tension in her chest. She could do this. She could totally do this.

“Hey, Freddie,” she said, unrolling her own mat.

“Hey Kendra. It’s good to see you,” he replied as she sat down opposite him.

“Good to see you too. I won’t say it isn’t a surprise because that would be a lie, but it is good to see you after all these years.”

Freddie winced a little, making her grimace inside. Was that too much?

“About that…”

He trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck, so Kendra quickly shook her head. Their past wasn’t what this was all about, and it would do neither of them any good to hash it up now.

“You’re here now,” she said firmly, “So, yoga rehab. Do you know much about what it entails or if there’s anything your team specifically wants?”

“Uh, I only know the basics really. Obviously I’ve done it a lot before for conditioning, which is what my trainer said this mostly will be as my injury was a blood clotting issue rather than muscles or joints?”

Blood clots. Damn. And for someone only in their 30s?

“That must’ve been really scary,” she murmured.

His eyes widened a little in surprise, but he nodded, smiling sadly. “I genuinely thought my career was over. I’ve been out for stretches of time before, but never for anything like this. I felt…helpless,” he admitted.

She could only guess he was being so vulnerable because of their history but she still appreciated his honesty. It can’t have been easy to admit such a thing.

“I can imagine you would, yeah. But the team are figuring it out, right? They wouldn’t be signing you up for yoga rehab if they didn’t have a plan in place?” Kendra said, trying to be positive.

“Yeah, yeah you’re right. They’ve tried a few things and they seem to be happy with the results anyway – they’re looking at about a month if all goes well,” Freddie nodded.

“That’s fantastic. I’m glad I’ll be able to help you get back to where you need to be. I’ll do a bunch of research after today, to make sure I’m not pushing you too hard, to make sure I’m doing the best I can for you,” Kendra said, smiling.

One month. One month with a rehabilitation she’d never come across before. This was the exact kind of challenge she wanted – and it would be with Freddie?

“I know you will, Kendra. I trust you completely. I just…”

He trailed off, chewing his bottom lip, his hesitation making her chest ache.

“What is it?” she prompted, trying to be gentle.

“I don’t want this to be it. I’m not ready for my career to be over. I still want, no, need to prove myself,” he said softly.

“Your talent and reputation precede you, Freddie. Everything that you’ve achieved with the Leafs and now with the Canes? How beloved you are by teammates and fans? You prove yourself, every day.”

“You’ve followed my career?” he asked, clearly surprised.

To be fair, she didn’t think she would’ve been able to keep following him after he left Anaheim, but it was Freddie.

“How could I not? We were friends,” she shrugged, trying to keep her voice light.

A wave of sadness washed over Freddie’s expression, making her heart clench in her chest, but before he could speak, Kendra cleared her throat.

“You’ve got this, Freddie Andersen. We’re going to get you back to where you need to be, and you’re going to kick metaphorical ass. Maybe even literal ass if you need to,” she said firmly.

Freddie managed a small smile, nodding.

“Let’s do this then.”

~

“Hey, Kendra. Thanks for today. I really enjoyed the session.”

She looked up at Freddie as she took her hair out of the twisted bun she put it in for working, letting her hair cascade down her back in blonde waves.

“You don’t have to thank me every time, you know,” she mused.

After that fateful first group class, Freddie has eagerly signed on for more conditioning classes at her studio, and her boss had happily signed him on as her first solo yoga client the moment she reached her 1000 hours milestone. It had been intimidating, if she was being honest, but she was thriving under her own steam, leading all on her own. It didn’t hurt that Freddie was a willing student, keen to increase his flexibility and core strength. And it didn’t hurt that he was absolutely gorgeous either – but that was just for her own thoughts.

“I want to thank you though. The team, management in particular, are really noticing the work I’ve put in as full-time backup, and that’s all down to you,” Freddie said with a shrug and a smile.

“Well in that case, gold star for me,” she grinned.

Freddie barked out a surprised laugh, making her giggle as she rolled up her mat.

“Did you, uh…do you have any more classes now?” he asked, awkward enough for her to pay attention.

“No, you were my last of the day. Why?”

“There’s a new smoothie bar that’s opened up down the road and I was going to go after this – if you want, come with me? I’d love to learn more about how you got into yoga instruction so young,” he said hopefully.

Kendra eyed him for a moment, trying to read any implications or anything untoward in his words. The last thing she wanted was to give off the wrong impression, especially in her first adult job, but Freddie just looked so genuine that she couldn’t help but to smile. A friend couldn’t hurt, right?

“I could go for a smoothie,” she said after a moment or two, nodding.

“Great! Um, I’ll shower, change, and meet you in the lobby?”

“Sounds like a plan,” she mused, “See you soon.”

Within no time at all, Kendra had changed into a cute little cropped lilac sweater and black jeans, leaving her hair down her back to dry in waves. She hadn’t packed any makeup with her, annoyingly, but Freddie saw her all the time without makeup so she guessed it didn’t really matter. Even if she would’ve preferred a dashing of mascara and a swipe of lipgloss. Maybe she’d have to leave a spare of each in her work bag, just in case any future hangouts after work happened.

If today’s smoothie run wasn’t awkward, of course. Damn she hoped it wouldn’t be awkward.

“Ready to go?”

“Let’s do this!” Kendra said cheerfully.

Freddie just smiled down at her, easily towering over her 5ft2 frame with his 6ft4 one – yes she’d looked up his height to be certain, she was curious – opening up the door for her to walk through first.

“Such a gentleman,” she teased.

“I aim to please,” he drawled.

Kendra snorted, immediately covering her face in embarrassment, but Freddie grinned like a cat who got the cream.

“Cute snort,” he smirked.

“Ass,” she shot back, sticking out her tongue to let him know she wasn’t actually mad.

Freddie just laughed, a clear beautiful sound that sent butterflies in her stomach going overdrive. No, this was not the time. Be a professional. Don’t be a giggly idiot. Damn it.

The walk to the smoothie bar couldn’t have taken more than 5 minutes, the two of them staying in a comfortable silence – something that Kendra found difficult with people she’d known for years, so for her to feel such at ease with someone she barely knew? It was strange. Nice, but strange.

“Okay, what’ll it be?” he asked, looking up at the board, “My treat.”

“Are you sure?” she frowned.

Sure, this was her first job and she’d only been in it a couple of months, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t pay her way.

“Absolutely sure. I insist,” Freddie said firmly.

The intensity in his eyes, warm but solid, made her inhale sharply and nod. If he insisted…

“I’ll have almond milk, pineapple, kale, and mango, with a dash of honey. Thanks, Freddie,” she said, smiling up at him.

He just smiled back down at her, sending those butterflies into overdrive again, stepping forward to repeat her order as well as giving his own. When their smoothies arrived, Freddie walked over to a table in the corner so she followed, sitting down with a happy sigh.

“Oh man that’s good. Thanks for inviting me out,” Kendra said, after taking a sip of her smoothie.

“You’re welcome. It’s nice to actually meet someone near my age that as interested in yoga as I am,” Freddie said simply.

“Yeah? Not too many friends or girlfriends wanting to join you?” she asked, somehow managing to stop herself cringing to hard at the wording of her question.

Freddie just smirked slightly but didn’t call her out, thankfully. “No friends who want to do yoga with me, no. Most the team only do yoga when they absolutely have to. And no girlfriend either.”

“That’s a shame,” she said lightly, ignoring the zing through her body, “Yoga is fun and a great stress-reliever.”

“Is that why you got into it then?”

Kendra relaxed back into her seat, taking another sip of her drink, before starting to talk. Over the next hour, the two of them exchanged life stories, getting to know each other properly. Freddie talked about his career so far in the Danish league, how different and difficult it was to move over to Anaheim in August, how he’s just trying to make his mark now he’s been with down with the AHL team most the season and only up for a week. In turn, Kendra talked about how she’d always lived in California, having moved from her hometown in Santa Monica to Anaheim after meeting her now-boss at a training course, how she’d seen her mom doing yoga with her friends and fallen in love with the flow and peacefulness of it as well as the strength it gave. Talking to Freddie felt like they’d been friends for all her life, something she’d never experienced before, and she could only hope this wasn’t the last time they got to do this. Freddie was special, that was clear as day, and she felt lucky to see this relaxed side of him that she doubted many were privy to.

Eventually though, once their smoothies were finished, they had to leave before they overstayed their welcome, and Freddie walked her back to her car.

“I’m perfectly capable of walking across the parking lot on my own, you know,” she mused, jerking her chin in the direction of his car, all the way on the other side.

“And if some weirdo stalks you to your car when I can prevent that, I’d rather avoid you being alone,” he shrugged.

“Aww are you my knight in shining armour, Mr Andersen?” she teased.

Interestingly, his cheeks dusted with a blush.

“I’ll sweep you off your feet any time you need, Miss Lee,” he smirked.

Kendra just burst out laughing, shaking her head at his banter flirting. Ridiculous guy. This was going to be a fun friendship, she could already tell.

“Give me your number? We can sort out another smoothie run,” Freddie said, smiling.

She ignored those traitorous butterflies and nodded, unlocking her phone and handing it over. It could only be a good thing to have more friends in Anaheim, right?

“You think you can handle seeing me outside of the yoga studio?” she mused.

“Oh I know I can.”

~

Kendra and Freddie settled on three yoga sessions a week for his rehabilitation, 12 in total, to give him the conditioning build up he needed while still taking care to manage his recovery. She’d spent all night after that first meeting researching and planning the best course of movements and flows for him, making it challenging but helpful, eventually dragging herself back to bed at 4am, satisfied that what she’d planned would help him.

With any client, she would want to make sure she was satisfied, but with Freddie? She needed it to. Even after everything, she didn’t want to let him down.

Their first two sessions went well, the first mostly easing Freddie back into the swing of things, assessing where his strengths and weaknesses were, and the second session left Freddie groaning but smiling, happy he was able to push himself. Their third session, which Kendra was preparing for, would be another mild push, nothing extreme but still to see where she would need to adjust any plans.

It was all a process, but one she was enjoying immensely. Not just because of her student.

“Knock knock.”

Kendra jolted out of her thoughts, hand on her heart as Freddie walked into the studio with a grin.

“You are the worst,” she groaned.

“So you don’t want the smoothie I picked up on the way?” he mused.

He brought her a smoothie?

Her lips parted in surprise, but she stuck her hand out anyway, Freddie just laughing as he passed it over. The moment she took a sip, a wave of nostalgia ran over her. All she could think about were the smoothie runs and coffees hangouts and even the occasional lunch they used to go to together. Two and a half years of memories all flooding through her system, and it was all she could do to keep her face calm and neutral as the memories of conversations and vulnerability and laughter swirled through her thoughts. This wasn’t fair. This really wasn’t fair. She wanted to be mad at him for daring to dive back into their past like him leaving meant nothing, but how could she? How could she be mad when those memories still brought her joy?

“Almond milk, pineapple, kale, and mango, with a dash of honey. My favourite. Maybe you’re not the worst. You really remembered this?”

“Of course I did. I loved our smoothie dates,” Freddie nodded, smiling.

Dates?

“Dates?” she said, raising an eyebrow.

“Figure of speech? I don’t speak English?” he offered.

“Yeah nice try, I’m pretty sure your English is better than most people I know,” Kendra mused.

Freddie blushed but laughed.

“How could I forget anything about the girl who got me doing the best Bridge pose of my life, hm?”

She tried valiantly not to think about how good Freddie looked bent over in a backwards arch. Valiantly.

“Alright, but don’t think this means I’ll go easy on you, Freddie,” she said brightly, “We’ve still got a lot of work to do.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he grinned, “Give it to me rough.”

Kendra took a moment, trying to hold in her laughter, before she gave in and cackled.

“Oh man that was so bad, even for you,” she grinned.

“Not my finest, I’ll give you that,” Freddie shrugged, a light blush on his cheeks, “Still made you laugh though.”

Well he wasn’t wrong there.

Kendra sipped on her drink while Freddie laid out his mat, leaving the cup in a safe spot as she moved to stand in front of him.

“As always, let’s start with Sun Salutation,” she grinned.

The next hour flew by. As she promised him, Kendra did push him hard – some of the poses he wasn’t quite ready for, she could see that, at least even for the length of time they were trialling today. His natural flexibility hadn’t left him, that much was obvious, but there was still work to do. At least she could take pride in being part of rehabilitation that would never push him further than he was ready for. His safety, physical and mental, was the most important thing.

But he could do this. She knew that he could do this, and that excited her.

“Alright, that’s us done for today. Thanks, Freddie,” Kendra said softly.

Freddie opened his eyes, practically floating from savasana, face flushed from exertion.

“Thank you, Kendra. I feel awesome. Tired but awesome,” he grinned.

“Not aching too much anywhere?” she asked, standing up gracefully.

Freddie groaned as he stood up, rolling his shoulders as he checked in with himself. Kendra smiled wryly at the action – at least she could trust an athlete to know his own body.

“No, not too much,” he said.

“Are you sure?” she frowned, hands on hips.

“I promise. I know the difference between aching from a good workout to aching from injury and pain. This is good,” Freddie insisted.

Well alrighty then.

“That’s what I like to hear,” Kendra said happily, rolling her neck from side to side to loosen tension, “Take a shower, Andersen, I can smell you from here.”

Freddie barked out a laugh, shaking his head in amusement.

“Care to join me?”

“In your dreams.”

Freddie just smirked, sending a shiver down her spine. There. That was it, the spark she’d been missing for so many years.

“See you on Wednesday?”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Freddie nodded.

~

From: Freddie I have a return date March 7th

From: Kendra That’s amazing! I told you that you could do it! These last eight sessions have really paid off! Do you feel ready?

From: Freddie As always, I should’ve trusted that you were right lol I think so? My body does for certain

From: Kendra And your mind? If you don’t feel mentally ready, Freddie, please don’t let them push you

From: Freddie Thanks, I appreciate that I think it’s more nerves than not mentally ready? Like, I don’t want to let the team down. And I don’t want critics to call me washed up

From: Kendra You could never let the team down They can see your passion, see how hard you’re working And screw the critics. They don’t know you or your body You are the furthest thing from washed up, so don’t talk about yourself like that

From: Freddie I’ve missed your fire. Yes ma’am

From: Kendra Damn right you have. That’s more like it

From: Freddie Can I still finish off my course of session with you? And maybe carry on for a few more afterwards? Just to make sure I still have that confidence?

From: Kendra As many as you want I’m here for whatever you need

From: Freddie Whatever I need? I like the sound of that

~

“So today’s your last official yoga rehab session with Freddie. How are you feeling?”

“Yeah, it’s all gone really well. It’s been nice reconnecting with him, as well as seeing him grow back into his conditioning and confidence. You were right, Mimi, this was a great idea,” Kendra grinned.

Mimi and Celeste both smiled at her, but the smiles quickly turned hesitant. What? What was wrong?

“Has he said something? Have the Canes said something?” she asked, starting to worry.

Had she done something wrong and he hadn’t had the guts to tell her?

“No, no, god no. Freddie’s had nothing but high praise for you since he got here and I have no doubt he’ll be saying the same to his team,” Celeste said quickly.

“He talks about me?” Kendra asked, not knowing whether to ignore the butterflies in her stomach or not.

“He does. And he always has a smile on his face when he leaves here, same as you. We just…”

“Just what?” she prompted.

“We just want you to be careful,” Celeste said, finishing her sister’s sentence.

 What the hell?

Mimi winced at Kendra's expression before clearing her throat.

“When I met you, it was obvious that part of you was missing,” Mimi said softly, Celeste nodding.

What?

“What do you mean?” Kendra frowned.

“This fun flirty side of you? These beaming smiles? It’s great, don’t get me wrong, but seeing you around Freddie makes so much sense,” Mimi explained.

Okay that was crazy.

“We really are just friends,” Kendra said, shaking her head.

Mimi and Celeste send her matching disbelieving looks.

“No, really,” Kendra said, shrugging, “We always had this flirty banter but it was never anything more than that.”

“Never anything more?” Celeste said, raising an eyebrow, “Not even once?”

“No!” Kendra laughed, “He would come to my yoga classes, we’d get coffee or smoothies occasionally, sometimes lunch, but never anything more.”

“I really don’t think you see what we see. What no doubt everyone sees when they watch the two of you,” Mimi said.

“You can’t fake that kind of chemistry, Kendra. He clearly has feelings for you,” Celeste added.

What?

He had feelings for her?

And everyone saw it?

Mimi and Celeste watched her obvious turmoil with soft pitying smiles.

“Think about it. Just think about it. That’s all we’re saying,” Mimi said, her voice warm and reassuring, “And be careful?”

“You’re our girl, okay? We just want you to be happy,” Celeste said, smiling.

“Uh yeah, sure. I’ll think about it,” Kendra murmured.

It was all she could do to walk in a straight line for their staff kitchen, desperately needing a cold bottle of water to sip on while she sorted through her thoughts.

She’d always found Freddie attractive. That was something she could admit to without hesitation. But it was something she’d buried deep, knowing she could never act on it. Bringing that acknowledgement back up to the surface was terrifying, because it wasn’t just a physical attraction – it was everything about him. If she let herself think about how attracted she was to him, let herself think about his laugh, and his kindness, and his terrible taste in coffee, and his soft smile when he talked about his family, and literally everything else about him…she felt like she would explode.

How was she supposed to behave normally around him in their last scheduled yoga session, when all of these dangerous feelings were bubbling at the surface?

No, she had to find a way. She couldn’t ruin everything, not when she’d just got him back into her life. She just couldn’t.

Somehow, she managed to keep a lid on her emotions for her entire day until Freddie’s session at the end of her evening, running through the most challenging routines that pushed him to his limit, but left him with a smile on his face. He was ready. He was really ready for his return to play in two days time.

So why did it feel like everything was ending?

Freddie had stayed mostly quiet, focusing on his movements, but there were times in between flows that she caught him staring at her as if he was thinking. Thinking hard. It was almost off-putting, if it didn’t make her feel giddy. Were her friends right? Were her feelings really reciprocated?

Whatever was going through his mind, she didn’t know, but even she could feel a trembling intensity between the two of them that she couldn’t put a finger on. It felt like…anticipation.

When their class was over, Freddie insisted on waiting for her to grab all of her things, Mimi and Celeste just smirking as he waved goodbye to them, escorting her out to her car. This time he apparently hadn’t parked that far away from her, so he was insistent on walking her properly, although it could definitely be classed as more of an extremely slow stroll rather than a walk.

Like he was drawing this out as much as she was.

“You must be freezing,” Freddie murmured, “Here take my jacket.”

Before Kendra could form a word of protest at his sudden words, Freddie was slipping his jacket off and placing it over her shoulders. The warmth immediately hit her body, thrumming through her veins, and she knew without a doubt that her burning cheeks gave her thoughts away.

“There. Better?”

It was all Kendra could do to nod, staying silent as Freddie made a grunt of approval. Why was this affecting her so much? It was a just a jacket. It was just a jacket, right? It didn’t stop her sinking into the warmth though, picking up the scent of his cologne, ignoring the way her heart started beating that little bit faster.

She had to say something. She had to say something.

“Freddie…I need to ask you a question,” she said softly.

“Go for it,” he mused.

“Did you know it was me when you agreed to do a yoga rehab course?”

“What?”

Kendra exhaled a little shakily, but shook her head. She needed to know.

“When your team suggested yoga classes as part of your rehab treatment plan, how did you pick a teacher? Did you know I would be running this for you?”

“Ah.”

A single word. How ominous.

But Kendra just stayed silent, unwilling to say anything else before he did. She needed to know. It would change everything.

“The team gave me a list of options, with short descriptions about the teacher and any feedback from other clients. And…the moment I saw your name on the list, I didn’t have to think any further or look at anyone else,” he murmured.

“What?”

Freddie let out a shaky breath, halting his walk, so Kendra stopped next to him. What did he mean by that?

“I took it as a sign from the universe that I finally had a chance to make up for letting our friendship fizzle out. You were one of the best parts about Anaheim for me, and I was so wrapped up in my head in Toronto that I was stupid enough to let our friendship go. To let you go. I wanted to see you again. I knew that you would be amazing from the yoga side of things, but to get the chance to say that I’m sorry? I couldn’t pass that up.”

As he spoke, his words clear and his expression more serious than she’d ever seen, her heart started racing like it never had before. He really meant all of that, didn’t he? He really chose her?

“You have nothing to apologise for,” she eventually said, a little more breathless than she would care to admit.

“Yes, I do,” Freddie replied, huffing out a laugh, “You deserved better than I treated you.”

He looked relieved, like her being mad at him was even a possibility (not with them, never with him), but she just shook her head. Yeah, it had hurt at the time, when she finally resigned to losing contact with him – but that was over 7 years ago. With time, that hurt had faded into an ache, which in turn faded to occasional wistfulness. She could never hold a grudge against him for a trade, and certainly not for following his dream. That just wasn’t who Kendra was.

She started walking again, Freddie wasting no time in joining her, even though their steps were practically glacial in speed.

“Maybe I deserved a little better communication but it was so long ago, Freddie. I’m not holding onto past grudges. And honestly, the fact that you chose me because you wanted to reconnect? That’s all I needed.”

“Really?” he asked, voice hopeful.

“Really really,” she grinned, “Although I’m sure you can think of something to make it up to me.”

A grin spread across Freddie’s face too, making her feel a little giddy.

“Anything you wanted, Kendra Lee.”

“That is a dangerous offer, Frederik Andersen,” she shot back.

He just shrugged, grin not leaving his face. “You know I’m good for it.”

This, these flirty exchanges, served to do nothing other than light her blood on fire. Why was it always so easy to slip back into this with him like nothing had changed? That was a good thing, right?

“Come out with me on St Patrick’s Day night,” she blurted.

He raised an eyebrow, looking unimpressed, but she just laughed.

“I’m going to a karaoke bar with Mimi and Celeste – join us,” she explained.

“That’s what you want? Out of all the things you could’ve asked for…you want me to join you for karaoke,” he said incredulously.

Kendra inhaled sharply at the implication in his words but nodded anyway, hoping she wasn’t making a huge mistake.

“I do. It’ll be fun, to see you outside of work, and to do something with you that we’ve never done before. We already have a little booth booked and it’ll be better than cramming into a regular bar for St Patrick’s Day,” she said firmly.

He laughed softly, shaking his head in disbelief, before eventually nodding.

“Alright, I’ll be there. Text me the address,” he mused.

Kendra just grinned, ignoring the butterflies in her stomach as they finally reached her car.

“Thanks for lending me your jacket, Freddie.”

“Any time.”

~

By the time the evening of the 17th March rolled around, Kendra was buzzing. She'd not seen Freddie since his debut back on the ice, him having given the three of them tickets to say thank you. Watching him win? It was everything, and she couldn't have been prouder of him. But with his schedule and hers, he hadn't scheduled any more classes like he'd said he'd wanted to, so Kendra had been limited to text messages, hoping that her daydreams weren't just silly fantasies.

Kendra, Mimi, and Celeste had been in O'Malley's for an hour, and Freddie still hadn’t arrived. The longer that time went on, the more disappointed she felt, not wanting to believe that after everything they’d regrown between them that he would just ghost her. No, that wasn’t Freddie. It couldn’t be Freddie.

“Breathe. Have a drink. He promised he’d be here, right?” Celeste said with a sweet smile.

“He did. But that doesn’t mean he couldn’t have changed his mind,” Kendra sighed.

“Hey, no sad faces. It’s St Patrick’s Day and we’re having a good time!” Mimi said cheerfully.

Kendra just groaned, taking a big gulp of her beer, her friends just cheering. They were right. She couldn’t dwell on this. If Freddie was going to come or whether he wasn’t, she was still out with her friends to have a good time. That was what she needed to focus on.

“Up next, Kendra singing Red!”

“Ooh girl that’s you, go!” Mimi squealed.

Kendra took a deep breath to steel herself, sliding out of their booth with a confident smile. If anyone could make her feel better, it would be Taylor Swift, she knew that much. As the intro music starting playing, she focused on letting it flow through her, tapping her foot in time with the beat.

“Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street, Faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ending so suddenly, Loving him is like trying to change your mind, Once you're already flying through the free fall, Like the colors in autumn, so bright, just before they lose it all.”

As if summoned by magic, the door to the pub opened, and Freddie walked in. Within seconds he saw her standing on the karaoke stage and stopped in his tracks, offering her a small stunned smile. He came. He didn’t ghost her. Freddie actually came as she asked him. That had to mean something, right?

“Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes, Tell myself it's time now gotta let go, But moving on from him is impossible, When I still see it all in my head, In burning red, Burning, it was red.”

She found herself pouring her emotions into the words, pouring everything she felt about Freddie into the song, not able to take her eyes off him. By now, Mimi and Celeste had noticed how she was performing just for Freddie – she could see their grins from across the room – and a few other patrons were starting to notice too. But she couldn’t stop herself. Her body felt almost out of control, singing her heart out to the only man who’d ever truly held it.

“Oh, losing him was blue, like I'd never known, Missing him was dark gray, all alone, Forgetting him was like trying to know, Somebody you never met, 'Cause loving him was red, Yeah, yeah, red, Burning red.”

His eyes were almost wild, locked onto her like she was the only person in the room. It was a heady feeling, giving her the confidence she needed to finish the song with a smile.

“And that's why he's spinning 'round in my head, Comes back to me, burning red, Yeah, yeah.”

She curtseyed dramatically to cheers and applause as the song ended, a wide grin on her face, and she moved to step off the stage, Freddie was already there with a hand extended to help her down. She took it silently, inhaling sharply as Freddie didn’t let go – instead her guided her across the room to the bar, the crowd parting with whatever intensity was on his face, so much so that they were served immediately.

“Two baby guinnesses,” Freddie asked politely.

The barman just laughed, nodding as he poured the shots, Freddie not letting go of her hand even as he paid for their drinks. He passed her one of the shots with a hopeful smile, the sweetness in his eyes intoxicating, so she clinked the glass gently with his, the cool liquid sliding down her throat smoothly.

“I wasn’t sure if you would make it,” Kendra said, offering him a small smile.

“I was thinking. Thinking about a lot of things. And I have something I need to say,” Freddie murmured, voice barely audible above the rumble of the room’s conversation.

“Oh?” she said, breath caught in her throat.

“I need to be honest with you, Kendra. I don’t think I can do any more classes with you.”

Oh. Everything in her chest felt like it was crumbling, Kendra barely able to get a breath in.

Wait, what?

“It would be incredible unprofessional of me,” Freddie added.

“Unprofessional? Freddie, if I’ve done something-”

The last thing Kendra was expecting was for Freddie to cut off her words with a kiss.

And not just any kiss. A toe-curling, melt into his arms, curl her fingers into his shirt kind of kiss. As his hands cupped her face and his lips moved with hers, it was all she could do to let out a soft little moan, interrupted only at the chorus of cheers and whistles around them. Freddie broke the kiss with a soft laugh, Kendra just feeling dazed, but his shy smile just made her giddy all over again.

“I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long. I just didn’t think I could,” he admitted, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

They were right. Mimi and Kendra were right.

“What changed?” she managed to ask.

“We changed,” he said. “We’ve both grown so much in ourselves since I left Anaheim and I am proud of both of us for taking what we need to make ourselves happy and successful. But I don’t want to lie to myself any more, thinking that I don’t need you too.”

“You need me?” she said, surprised.

“I do, in every way. I was an idiot for so many years, Kendra. I don’t want to waste any more time,” he said seriously.

“Jesus, Freddie, knock a girl for six why don’t you,” she said, huffing out a laugh.

He froze at her words, clearly fearing the worst, but Kendra just grinned. How could she be anything but excited?

“I’m yours, Freddie Andersen. I always have been,” she said happily.

The smile that spread across his face was worth a thousand lifetimes. This was what she had been waiting for. Exactly this.

“Now, buy me another drink and sing a song with me, and I’ll consider kissing you again,” Kendra grinned.

He laughed in disbelief but grinned so widely in response that it made her giddy. “One blue moon pale ale, coming right up.”

Her favourite girls night drink? How did he remember everything she’d ever said?  They were really doing this. They were finally doing this. 

“You’re going to be trouble, aren’t you?” she laughed.

“Probably. You love it though.”

That she did.

[fizzyxcustard]

Just My Imagination.

Masterlist of fan fiction

Fandom: Spooks

Pairings: Lucas North x Original Female Character (Amy Holland)

Warnings: Undercover agents, angst, insecurity, anxiety.

Word count: 5725

Summary: From the imagine: "Imagine that you are on an operation with Lucas North, where you have to use a cover story that you’re in a relationship. Only Lucas plays the part a little too well."

Comments/Notes: Requested by anon. Requested as Lucas x Amy. THANK YOU. You know how much I love writing about Lucas and Amy. This piece was requested to be a romantic comedy, but I’m so sorry to say that it wound up just being angsty again. 

I hope you like the fic. As always, like, reblog and comment if you enjoy. If you wish to be added to any of my tag lists, let me know.

Operation Greenacre. 

Amy looked back over the folder in front of her, memorising all the information inside. Her name while on this operation was Amanda Reynolds, an office assistant in central London at a family law firm. Recently engaged to boyfriend of two years, Ben Waverley, aka Lucas North, her current operation partner. 

Amy and Lucas had been given keys to a one-bedroom flat where they would act out their pretend lives, hoping to gather more inside information from their next door neighbours, a couple who were potentially funding terrorists through their charity. 

“Are you sure you’re okay to do this?” Lucas asked, hovering at her desk. “If you don’t feel comfortable then tell Harry and we can stand you down.”  

“I don’t want to let anyone down,” Amy sighed, giving him an anxious and embarrassed smile. Next to Jo Portman, Amy was the closest in age to Lucas, so could easily pass off as his fiancée. However, Jo was on another operation. 

Lucas pulled a chair across from the desk opposite and sat down next to Amy. “Look, you’ve never done this before, and it’s kind of going against procedure here and taking a risk. You don’t have to say yes just to please Harry or to impress anyone. Your safety and wellbeing comes first.” 

“But the only other person is Ros.” 

“So?” Lucas asked, raising his eyebrows. “Ros and I have had cover stories before where we’ve been in a relationship. We can easily make it work.” 

Amy looked at Lucas and felt the butterflies flap more viciously in her stomach. The man was gorgeous, and in Amy’s mind her being seen as his fiancée was even more inconceivable than Ros taking the place. Ros Myers had the confidence and grace that Amy didn’t. Amy was of short stature, more curvaceous, with short dark hair and what she considered more ‘plain’ features. While Amy had proven herself as a damn good analyst and office based intel officer, her confidence waned when venturing into new situations, or when in the company of Lucas. 

*

Near the end of Lucas’ shift, he tapped on Harry’s door. 

Harry Pearce, government renowned intelligence officer and senior lead of Section D, raised his head. “Yes, Lucas. Come in.” 

Lucas closed the door behind himself and sat down opposite the middle aged man. “I want to talk to you about Operation Greenacre. I don’t think Amy is ready, Harry. I’ve got a feeling that she’s accepted this to try and prove herself to you.” 

“Is this because you’re concerned about having to watch out for her, or a genuine interest in her safety?” 

“I can’t believe you’d ask me that question,” Lucas scoffed. “I’m worried for her, not me. She’s not ready for field work. Can we just ask Ros to do it?” 

“Lucas, Amy has already agreed to this and your documentation is being processed. I can’t stop this from going ahead, and Ros has, as of this afternoon, been put onto Op Hickory. I trust that you’ll be able to help her; the two of you seem to work well together and there’s something about the way she interacts with you. There’s an ease and a trust I sense.”

“I’m not questioning how we work together. I’ve always got on very well with her.” 

Harry saw a very faint blush hit Lucas’ cheeks, which was quite rare for him. Not much seemed to faze him, but this conversation appeared to be bringing out the very first signs that Lucas may have been holding a secret close to his heart. 

**

Amy woke early the next morning and rolled over to see that it was quarter to five. She had only gotten a couple of hours sleep, sporadic through the night. Her mind was ablaze with all the details of her new life she was about to live. 

Amanda Reynolds. Thirty one years of age. Born in Manchester. Older brother named Thomas. Fiancee of Ben Waverley. A gorgeous man like him wouldn’t ever be interested in someone like me….

The thoughts had trailed off many times, departing from the facts she had to memorise. All she could think about was how appearing engaged to Lucas would seem so far-fetched. She had even looked upon the engagement ring many times, wishing that it was all for real. What an absolutely stupid dream. This woman that she was pretending to be, Amanda Reynolds, had a better life than she had ever had. 

**

At around half seven, after showering, pacing her flat with podcasts playing in her ears, Amy heard her front door buzzer sound. It couldn’t have been the postman, as he normally left all mail in the boxes in the lobby. Deliveries weren’t usually this early. 

Amy clicked the intercom. “Hello?” 

“It’s Lucas.” 

Just his voice was like a wave of pleasurable electricity. It ran down her spine and made her smile. “I’ll let you in.” 

As Amy opened her door, she saw Lucas walking up the hallway. He was dressed in blue jeans and a black shirt, with the top two buttons opened. He held something in his hands. 

“I hope you haven’t had breakfast yet, Aim,” he said softly. 

“I thought we were meeting at nine, at the flat,” Amy said stupidly. 

“I just thought you might like to have a bit of food first and relax a bit.” 

Amy let Lucas into her flat, feeling the familiar flutter of nerves begin to descend. 

“Malcolm has organised the moving van this morning, so a lot of the stuff should be there when we arrive later,” Amy told Lucas, stepping into the kitchen, with him just behind. 

“Come and sit down for a bit and don’t think about the op. Relax and take your mind off it.”

Amy looked down at the brown paper bag on the counter and then back up at Lucas, feeling something in her chest, an ache that she had never quite felt before. Not only was he gorgeous, but kind. He actually saw her, and made her feel like she mattered. Or was this purely to try and help her feel more confident to better the outcome of the op? A method of getting the best out of her. 

“Did you manage to get that sketch completed?” Lucas asked, taking a large bite out of a croissant. 

“Oh, I didn’t think you’d remember that,” Amy said. Only a few days earlier and Amy had been sketching a photo of her nephew at her desk in work. It was a gift that she wanted to give to her sister for her birthday. 

**

By the time that Amy and Lucas had made it to the flat where they would be spending at least the next couple of weeks, Amy felt a little more at ease. The two of them greeted the moving men. 

Every now and again, Amy would catch a glimpse of a shimmer of rainbow colours from the corner of her eye, as the sun caught the diamond on her left hand. 

It all felt natural as Amy and Lucas began putting items away after unpacking boxes. However, it all changed, when a tall red-headed woman came to their open door. She tapped on it and stepped over the threshold and into the living room. “Hello?” 

“It’s okay,” Lucas whispered to Amy as they remained together in the bedroom, still opening boxes. “You’ll be fine. I’ll be with you in a minute.” Then he winked at her, watching as her startled face disappeared out of view. 

“Morning,” Amy said, her face beaming at the sight of the redhead. “I’m guessing you’re a neighbour?” 

“I am. I’m Pamela from next door, at number five. I heard we were getting new neighbours. It’s been so long since anyone has lived here, and I was starting to wonder if they’d ever find tenants.” 

Amy chuckled nervously. “I’m Amanda. My fiancée Ben is still in the bedroom trying to put the bed back together, so he should be out in a bit.”

On cue, just as Amy spoke those last words, Lucas appeared and approached. He curled his arm around Amy’s waist and drew her in against him. “Hi, I’m Ben. I hate moving. It makes me do some DIY which is one of my pet hates.” 

As Lucas spoke, Amy was sure that she could feel Lucas’ fingers moving in an almost circular motion against her waist. She could feel heat rising up her body at the sensation of being in such close proximity of him. 

“Is that a diamond I see?” Pamela asked, her dark eyes growing bright. 

Amy raised her hand to show her new neighbour. “We’ve been engaged about two months now.” 

Lucas pulled Amy that tad closer as she spoke, feeling a deep warmth rise upward and fill him. Without even thinking, he placed a kiss on her temple. Her skin was so soft under his lips and he could smell strawberries, no doubt from her shampoo. 

“You’ll have to come over for dinner tomorrow,” Pamela offered. “We always enjoy hosting dinners for our neighbours. Ted is ever the showman.” 

“That sounds lovely,” Amy said, her voice ever so slightly teetering on the edge of nervousness. She could feel the change in her voice now that Lucas was touching her. 

“I’ll let you both get back to it. I’ll see you around no doubt.” 

As Pamela disappeared into her front door, Amy immediately pulled from Lucas. She turned away from him and dashed away into the kitchen, where she flicked on the kettle for a drink. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she could feel her legs shaking. For a few seconds, she watched out of the window, focusing on the clouds and took a deep breath. 

“Are you okay?” Lucas asked. “You did well, Aim.” 

“Yeah, I’m okay. Just a little flustered, that’s all.” 

**

The rest of the day was fairly lowkey, with Amy and Lucas putting the belongings away, which hopefully wouldn’t be needed for too long. At the briefing, Harry and Lucas had explained that they hoped that the undercover part of the op wouldn’t be any more than two or three weeks. Most of it hinged on Lucas being able to wind his way into Ted Delaney’s trust and gain any hints as to his reasoning and motives for working alongside terrorists. 

At around six there was a sharp knock at the door. 

Lucas opened the door, only to see Ted Delaney in front of him. Positive ID made from all the documentation that had been gathered prior to the undercover portion of the op going live. 

“I’m Ted from next door. Pam told me you’d moved in and that she’d invited you to dinner tomorrow. Thought I’d come over and extend my welcomes to you both.” 

Ted Delany was a man who was easily in his mid-fifties. His greying hair was swept back and oiled, and his grey eyes were piercing. His clothing showed that he had money and position: a well-tailored navy suit and shined shoes. 

“Would you like a drink with us?” Lucas asked. 

“Sure,” Ted said, flashing a broad smile. 

Lucas immediately approached the whiskey and vodka bottles that were neatly placed out on a small table next to a large bookcase. 

Amy could hear faint chatter as she remained in the bedroom. For a second, she stood with her back to the wall, took a deep breath and then exited. 

“Hey, babe,” Lucas said, seeing Amy. ‘Babe’ somehow felt wrong in his mouth, and he hoped that to Delaney the word didn’t come across too alien. “This is Ted from next door.” 

“Ted, this is Amanda. The love of my life and wife-to-be.” 

I think that may be a bit too much, Lucas. Amy mused. 

Amy sat down on the black leather sofa which was opposite a matching armchair, where Ted had perched himself. 

Lucas handed the glass of whiskey to Ted and then placed himself down next to Amy. His hand rested on her thigh, again doing that circular motion with his fingers. He looked at Amy, passing her a glance. “Do you want me to get you anything from the kitchen?” 

“You’re missing out on the good stuff, love,” Ted said with a hearty chuckle and raised his glass in the air. 

“No, I’m fine, thank you,” Amy replied. “I’ve never been able to hand alcohol particularly well. It just doesn’t sit well with me.” 

“I remember when we first met, and she tried to impress me by drinking a couple of pints,” Lucas said. “She’s always tried to impress me when there’s no need to. She’s perfect the way she is.” Lucas, on instinct, squeezed her leg. 

Amy felt a rod of red hot head swarm in her head, as if angry wasps were buzzing there. “I always felt I was out of your league, Ben, you know that.” 

“Pam was always like that with me, too. Some women might seem like they have confidence, but deep down they don’t, and feel they need to be something they’re not. In fact, they’ve always been the apple of your eye from the very beginning.” 

Lucas chuckled. “That’s definitely always been the way with her. She doesn’t see how amazing she is.” 

**

Ted only stayed for approximately twenty minutes, before leaving Amy and Lucas for the night. There was a silence that had grown between them both now, and as Lucas remained in the living room, Amy sat in the kitchen with a mug of tea between her arms, which were resting on the table. 

“Aim, what’s wrong?” Lucas asked, finally following her into the kitchen. “You’ve been quiet since Delaney left. Is it making you uncomfortable?” 

Lucas looked down at the table to see the engagement ring. It was in the centre of the table, not on Amy’s hand where it should have been for the op. 

“I can’t wear it, Lucas,” Amy said softly. “Not when it’s not real. I can’t close the door and still have it on my hand. It’s bad enough having to have you touch me.” 

“Amy…” 

“It doesn’t matter what I think. We see this op through and then go back to the grid and get on with things.” 

**

Lucas lay on the sofa, while Amy had the bed, and thought on her words. It’s bad enough having you touch me. Was she disgusted by him? That very thought made his jaw clench and an ache rise in his chest. That was why she had dashed from him when Pamela had been at their door; Amy found him disgusting and couldn’t stand him touching her. And that touch had been real, so real in Lucas’ mind. To hold Amy next to him had felt like everything was perfect, and nothing was an act. The kiss on her temple...that was all from Lucas’ heart. 

Amy tossed in bed, replaying the events. The way Lucas had touched her, and those words. They seemed to be somehow as though he was telling her, behind a mask of someone else, that…. Of course he wasn’t! 

Lucas is good at his job. He’s done this so many times before and played the part well to get what’s needed for the case and then move on. Nothing is different about this operation whatsoever. It’s just my imagination. 

Being in a different bed meant that Amy couldn’t quite get comfortable in the bed, and would keep peering out of one eye at the clock on the bedside table. The bed was big, enough space for her to roll around, but it reminded her of how isolated she felt. Cut off. Unwanted. 

It was just after four ‘o’ clock and Amy knew she wouldn’t sleep any more that night. It was like the night before, just a couple of hours made up of half hour dozing phases. A dull thump was already starting up behind her eyes. As Amy pulled herself out of bed, she heard the whishing of blood in her ears. 

She staggered out of the room and across the living room, heading for the kitchen. There, on the sofa, sprawled out was Lucas. He was on his back, mouth wide open. The patchwork quilt had fallen off him, so Amy tottered over to him, and placed the quilt back over his sleeping form. He twitched as the quilt touched him, let out a loud snore, and then rolled over. 

Amy made a cup of herbal tea and sat in the kitchen, her eyes stinging and head thumping. It seemed as if Lucas slept easily, not worrying about the operation and certainly not about the tension that had risen between them. Was it only Amy that sensed any kind of tension? She was starting to assume it was. 

By the time it had turned half six, Amy got dressed into a fresh strip of clothing, choosing jeans and a frilled white blouse: the attire of Amanda Reynolds. Amy Holland, MI5 analyst, would have opted for jeans and a rock band T-shirt with a waistcoat, or a bright coloured hoodie. Sophistication wasn’t something that Amy felt she had. 

The streets were fairly quiet and Amy slipped into a café, ordering two bagels and two Americano coffees. Then she walked back to the flat, feeling that she could finally find a sense of peace out in the chilled mid-March air. 

By the time Amy got back to the flat, she walked in to find that Lucas had vacated the sofa. She could hear the splashing of bathwater and an offkey singing voice coming from the bathroom. 

Amy giggled and placed the breakfasts down on the coffee table in the living room, waiting for Lucas to re-appear. 

When he finally made an appearance, Lucas sauntered over to the sofa and sat down, leaving a gap between Amy and himself. 

“I hope you like bagels,” Amy said, giving a smile. “You brought breakfast yesterday so it’s only fair I do so today.” 

***

Amy ventured out the flat after breakfast, deciding to get out of Lucas’ way for a few hours. The cover story was that Amanda and Ben were on annual leave for a week while they moved into their new property. Ben, being the owner of his own accountancy firm, had left the company in the capable hands of his best friend, and co-director, Patrick Lange. If any kind of phone call was needed to or from Patrick, Tariq had been asked to step in and lend his vocal skills. 

First off, Amy sat down in a coffee shop and watched people wander past the window; tourists, residents. Some of them she could tell immediately as residents of London, carrying briefcases or dressed sharp for an upcoming meetings. Tourists tended to walk slower, some with cameras around their necks, and gazed around in excitement and wonder. 

Her phone chimed. Well, Amanda’s phone. It was one of the many iPhones that were kept on the Grid specifically for operations, with disposable SIM cards. 

Ben: Are you sure you’re okay? You didn’t seem yourself this morning. Love you. Xxx

Of course all text messages had be sent in character, in case the devices were ever compromised. No personal devices were allowed. One very basic Nokia 3310 model was kept in order to report back to Harry in case any challenges occurred, and that was in Lucas’ possession. 

Amanda: Yes, I’m fine, sweetie. I’ll be back later.  xx

Sweetie. Acting out this whole made-up scenario was angering Amy. 

Amy continued on walking, disappearing in and out of shops. All of the money she had was in physical cash. No personal credit and debit cards were to be used while on operation. Every aspect of who she really was had been erased. For the next two or three weeks, Amy Holland didn’t exist. When she looked into a mirror, Amanda Reynolds looked back. Amy could imagine the reflection smirking at her, the diamond sparkling so brightly on her left hand, with Ben’s arm wrapped around her. Ben’s steel blue eyes looking back, his nose wrinkled in disgust at the mere sight of Amy. 

Like I’d ever look at you twice.

Back at the flat, Lucas put more items away, concentrating on the kitchenware. However, his mind couldn’t stop spiralling into thoughts of Amy. She was confusing him and it was twisting his gut so tight. Suddenly he got up from the tiled floor, where he had been putting pots and pans into the cupboards, and called her. 

“Amanda?” he asked. 

“Ben,” she replied matter-of-factly. 

“Are you alone?” he asked. 

“No one is directly around me.”

“We need to talk on neutral ground.” 

“Please, no. We can talk when I get back.”

“We have to be careful as we can be compromised, you know that.” 

“I’m on my way back now. We’ll talk more after the dinner. I’ll be back in about half hour.” 

The line then went quiet as Amy terminated the call. 

Lucas sighed in frustration. In all the months that he had known Amy, which was almost a year, he had never known her be so aloof. She was naturally a shier person, but he had never known her react like this. 

Amy got back to the flat within the half hour that she had promised. She stepped into the living room to see Lucas sat on the sofa. The gorgeous bastard looked up at her and smiled sadly. 

“After the dinner, we’ll go for a walk,” she proposed. 

***

Amy and Lucas prepared themselves for the dinner with their new neighbours at around six. 

Lucas was dressed in a black suit jacket and white shirt, with the top two buttons popped open. It was complimented nicely with a pair of dark jeans, giving a casual edge. 

Amy stepped out of the bedroom, her short pixie cut freshly washed and neatly brushed. She wore a black dress with frills on the wrist, and paired with black dolly shoes. Her whole look was sophistication mixed with a sense of comfort. 

As Lucas looked at her, he swallowed hard. She was wearing a dark eyeshadow and mascara which accented her deep green eyes perfectly. He could sense her discomfort at the get-up, knowing that this wasn’t her usual style, but he couldn’t help feel it suited her so well. 

Amy tried to avoid eye contact and made her way to the door in silence. 

Lucas followed on behind, feeling his stomach twist yet again at her distance from him. He grabbed a bottle of wine from the table by the door, and then closed it behind them. 

Pam was the one to answer the door. She grinned at her new neighbours and let them in. “Take a seat. Dinner won’t be too long now. I’m preparing smoked salmon, topped in my special sauce. Chef’s secret as to the recipe. Everyone who has ever tried it has raved over it.” 

“Good man!” Ted exclaimed, taking the bottle of red wine from Lucas. “Priorities.” 

Amy glanced around the living room, noticing that there was far less in it than hers and Lucas’ temporary abode. The flooring was wooden, and the lights bright. Everything felt too clean and sterile for Amy’s liking. She sat down on a black leather sofa, and then tensed as Lucas perched beside her. He took her hand and rested it on his knee, then caught her gaze and smiled, giving her a very slight nod. 

“So, how did you two meet?” Pam asked, preparing glasses as Ted popped open the wine bottle. 

“Do you want a coffee? You said last night you don’t drink,” Ted asked Amy, interjecting himself into the conversation before anyone else could speak. 

“Oh, yes, please. That would be perfect,” she replied with a grateful smile. 

Lucas began to talk, still holding Amy’s hand. He rolled out the spiel that he and Amy had been given as part of their briefing pack. Amanda and Ben had met through mutual friends at a Christmas party. 

The words rolled effortlessly off Lucas’ tongue, Amy mused. And how she wished all of it was true. To be loved, wanted, proposed to, lived with. She desperately wanted it all. Life was cruel. Rather than be dealt such a lucky hand, she instead had to act it all out, pretend, and live behind a happy mask, where her heart beneath was breaking. 

“You definitely struck lucky, love,” Pam told Amy with a wink. 

The conversation between Lucas and Ted seemed to flow without much thought. However, Lucas’ hand moving up Amy’s thigh, curling further into the inside of her leg. 

Shivers began to race up Amy’s spine as she felt his fingers caress her skin through her thin tights. 

Most of the conversation seemed to merge into a mindless chatter as Amy concentrated on Lucas’ hand on her leg. She studied the veins in the back of his hand, which then caused images of him touching her in more intimate places to flicker through her mind. 

By the time that dinner was ready and the group had moved into the dining room, which again was a sterile looking room, Lucas had finally got onto the topic of conversation that he needed: Ted’s work. 

The table was only small, considering that the flat was large. It gave way for more kitchen space and cabinets. This meant that Amy was sat directly next to Lucas again, with Pam and Ted opposite them. 

“How long have you owned the charity, Ted?” Lucas asked, slipping into his seat. 

Ted began to answer while Pam laid out all the dishes in the centre of the table, her hands covered in oven gloves. “The charity was actually started by my father, who died five years ago, so it was handed down to me. He always spent his life helping disadvantaged children; it was all he cared about.” Something flickered across Ted’s face. Resentment, anger? Lucas couldn’t quite tell. But maybe that was where he could probe further. 

“Are you alright, love?” Pam asked, sitting down directly opposite Amy. “You look a bit pale.” 

“It’s probably the new foundation I’m using. I decided to try a lighter colour as the one before, by Clinique was too dark.” Where had that response come from? Maybe Amy wasn’t quite as bad at this acting while undercover thing as she had originally thought. Suddenly she felt something on her leg and jumped. Thankfully, Pam had started talking to Lucas and Ted again, so none of them noticed her jump. Why was Lucas touching her leg? Their lower halves were concealed beneath the table, which meant he didn’t have to touch her in order for anyone to believe they were lovers. 

While Amy eat her meal, she couldn’t stop thinking about Lucas’ hand coming back to her leg. 

“So, how did you choose to propose?” Pam asked, grinning. “I always adore love stories.”

Lucas blushed and then looked at Amy, catching her gaze. Then, he touched her leg again. Only this time, Amy didn’t flinch. In fact, upon instinct, she leaned her leg into his touch. “I just knew that I couldn’t live without her in my life. I wanted to wake up next to her, have kids with her. Cliché, I know. So I took her away for Christmas, to New York where she’d always wanted to go, and proposed in front of the Statue of Liberty.” His eyes were still locked on hers as he spoke. 

A sudden wave of nausea hit Amy and she leaned to the side, away from Lucas. 

“Are you okay, babe?” Lucas asked. “She’s been like this on and off the last couple of days.” 

Pam’s bright blue eyes lit up in excitement. “Maybe it’s the pitter patter of tiny feet.” 

“I’m going to have to head back to the flat. I’m so sorry to both of you,” Amy said, bolting up from her seat. 

Lucas got up beside her and wound his arm around her waist. “Sorry to leave so abruptly, but she comes first.” 

“Of course,” Ted chuckled. “We’ll have to re-schedule for a better time.” 

Amy and Lucas bid their farewells to their guests and head back to the flat. Amy dashed inside and raced to the bathroom, slamming the door. Rather than vomiting, she got to her knees on the floor and felt the tears of sadness roll down her cheeks. 

The door opened and Lucas stepped inside. He looked down as she sobbed and fell to his knees beside her. “Aim, what’s wrong?” he whispered. “You’re scaring me.” 

“You don’t have to keep the act going, Lucas,” she snapped, glaring at him. “Pam and Ted aren’t here.” 

“Get dressed into something more comfortable and warmer. We’ll go for a walk,” Lucas said, his voice becoming authoritative. 

“I don’t want…”

“While we’re on this operation, I’m the senior officer. Please get changed and we’ll go for a walk.” Lucas felt a stab of shame as he spoke those words, knowing he was using his own position for gain, but he needed to know what was happening. Her behaviour was becoming more erratic. Not only was she worrying him for her wellbeing, but if she continued to act like this then the op would be compromised. 

Fuck the operation! I care more about her. 

Fifteen minutes later and Amy walked beside Lucas, the darkness and cold evening air wrapping tight around them. Once they were a few streets away from the flat, Amy and Lucas sat down on a bench in a small park. 

“You really are scaring me, Amy. What’s wrong?” he asked quietly. “This is me asking because I care for your wellbeing. It’s not an act.” The word ‘act’ dripped with anger. He noticed that, yet again, she’d taken the engagement ring off. 

Amy noticed him look at her hand. “I can’t wear that ring, Lucas. Please don’t make me wear it when I don’t have to.” 

“We’re on surveillance and undercover twenty-four seven with this operation. You shouldn’t take it on and off when you please like this. This goes deeper than that, Aim. I know you hate me touching you, and I’m sorry I have to do it.” 

“I know it’s all an act for the op, Lucas. Don’t apologise.” 

“Is it all an act?” he asked. His gaze locked on Amy’s. “I know I shouldn’t have touched you under the table. There was no need for that. The truth is, none of this has been an act for me.” 

Amy’s eyes were wide in shock and sadness as she stared at him. “It’s not just my imagination?” she whispered. 

“No,” Lucas replied with a smile. “And when you said about not wanting me to touch you…”

“I didn’t mean that I didn’t want you to touch me. It’s I…I’ve liked you for a while Lucas, and it was getting too much. Playing it all like a game when deep down it’s something I want. I’m living another woman’s life that I want.” 

Lucas slipped closer to Amy and cupped her cheek with his hand. “Is it me or Ben Waverley that you want?” 

“Of course it’s you I want.” Amy replied, her face broad with a huge smile. 

Lucas moved even closer to her still, until their lips touched. The kiss started as a simple peck, a moment of uncertainty, but Amy’s hand tugging Lucas’ jacket spurred him on. The kiss grew deeper, their tongues meeting and warmth rising. 

As they both parted, Lucas smiled upon the slight of Amy’s beautiful flushed cheeks. She looked so innocent and angelic in those moments; her eyes sparkling in happiness, her cheeks flushed and her lips plump. 

“Does this mean that if you want Amanda’s life that you’re planning on leaving MI5?” Lucas chuckled. “Pack up and go work as a solicitor’s secretary. We’d miss you.” 

“Maybe I don’t want that part of her life.”  

“If we do this, Aim, and have a relationship, we won’t be put together undercover again, you know that, don’t you?” Lucas asked. “Harry can’t risk any compromise. We’d be a weakness to each other.” 

“Maybe on this op we can draw strength from each other. It’ll definitely make the act easier to keep up.” 

Lucas and Amy walked back to the flat hand in hand. The whole time and Amy was beaming, unable to hide the happiness she was feeling in those moments. Her gaze would drift down to their joined hands every few minutes. 

Back at the flat, Lucas let Amy in ahead of himself, his hand brushing against her lower back. He followed on behind her and closed the door. The way she turned to face him and looked up smiling, her cheeks still flushed, made his heart skip and his stomach flutter. She was so beautiful, with innocence shining brightly in her eyes and love curling her lips upwards. 

Lucas stepped forward and wound his arm around her waist, drawing her in and then leaned down to kiss her again. 

Their kiss grew hot very quickly, with their bodies entwining. 

Amy opened her eyes slowly, looking up into the silver blue depths of Lucas’ gaze. That all too familiar smirk began to form in the corner of his mouth. 

Amy slipped out of his hold and walked slowly into the kitchen, looking down at the table. The engagement ring was still in the centre where she had left it. 

Lucas moved around her and picked up the ring. Then he gently lifted her left hand. “I know you don’t want to wear it, Aim, but please do this for me.” 

With a sigh, Amy watched as Lucas slid the diamond solitaire ring onto her hand. It felt as though the ring had been sized perfectly and belonged there. “Maybe one day I’ll have someone doing it for real.” 

Lucas smiled sadly, feeling a lump form in his throat. Words swarmed in Lucas’ mind. Just one sentence to respond to Amy’s sad comment. But the right one would not come. Instead, he remained quiet. Perhaps one day it might have been him putting a ring on her hand, and meaning it. However, for now, he would have to wait and see, and hope for that future to come. 

***

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[starlightkun]

dr_magic2303 ❧ teaser [renjun]

❧ teaser word count: 960 | full fic: 18.3k ❧ warnings: just cursing for the teaser ❧ genre: fluff, humor, one heavy makeout scene but no actual smut, 0.1 seconds of angst if you can even call it that, academic rivals to lovers, modern magical creatures au, college au, siren reader, human renjun ft. siren ten, same universe as strawberry sunday ❧ extra info: this work is set in the same universe as strawberry sunday but can be read as a standalone! there is no continuing plotline between fics in this universe, they simply take place in the same world/magic system and may have overlapping characters (neos may pop up in more than one work!) ❧ author’s note: y’all. get ready for this one. no spoilers but spoilers renjun and reader r both crazy (academically) and nobody should be subjected to them except each other. like they both look at the other and think “i could fix them but whatever the fuck is wrong with them is infinitely funnier to me” but they’re both Wrong. they could not fix each other. anyway as always i had way too much fun writing this that it went over my projected word count and i hope y’all have a lot of fun reading it too <33

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ explore the strawberry sunday universe more here!

Pulling your lips into an alluring smirk, you nodded, “You’re right. It doesn’t take a rocket surgeon to figure out that—”

“A fucking what?” He cut you off, his face scrunching up as he blinked at you in confusion.

“Obviously it’s going to be one of us two, since we’re the two best students in the program.”

“Well, yes.” He nodded, seeming to let go of what had presumably been another one of your jumbled human malaphors. You admittedly hadn’t been living among humans for terribly long, and for some reason their idioms just didn’t stick in your brain very well.

“I mean, we not only are dedicated to the field itself and the content we study in class, but the program too. We probably know everybody in it, professors and students, right? Between the two of us?”

Renjun considered this for a moment. “Yeah, probably. We’ve both taken on a lot of SI and tutor opportunities for lower-level classes.”

“Right. So, you know those forums the school has on the online class platform? The general message boards?”

“Yes. Why?”

“I’m going to need you to sit tight with me on this until I finish talking, okay?” You pointed at him sternly. He nodded slowly. “Good. Back in the fall, about the end of September, I was on the message boards, just browsing around killing time. I was in the Tips & Advice section and saw this post. It was a gryphon who was losing feathers on one specific spot on her wing, and she didn’t know why. The witch she went to didn’t why, nobody could figure it out. I was about to reply asking if it was her left or right, when I saw that somebody else already had. It was her left, and she’s a lefty. The same person replied again, asking if she sleeps with her wings out or not. She sleeps with them out. It turns out she was stress-preening in her sleep. Username: dr_magic2303. A couple weeks later, same message board, Tips & Advice, a human is suddenly producing dark purple goop from his feet but it’s so slippery he can’t even leave to go see a doctor or a witch and he was typing the post from his bathroom. Within an hour, this Dr. Magic is back telling him someone’s put an aether ooze hex on him, and to sit down and scoot on his butt to the kitchen and gather up all these ingredients for a cleansing foot bath. And if he doesn’t have them, then he’ll have to butt-scoot his way to an apothecary or call one who does home deliveries. Now people are posting on there specifically asking Dr. Magic to come heal all their magical aches and pains.”

Renjun stared at you, unblinking. The pen had gone still in his hand.

You breathed in, continuing, “I tracked this Dr. Magic all the way back to their first post in the first week of fall semester of this year. Now, I’ve been trying to figure out who they are on my own, and I’ve made a lot of progress on who they aren’t. But I’m going to lose access to those message boards once we graduate at the end of the semester. I know Dr. Magic has to be an MCS major, there’s no way they would be able to have to breadth, depth, and flexibility of knowledge by just Googling this stuff. And you and me, Renjun, I know we can do this. Not only do we know MCS, but we know the department, the people in it. It has to be us.”

He was still staring at you, mouth slightly agape. Then, his whole demeanor shifted. He dropped his leg so that both his feet were on the ground, and he resumed spinning the pen.

“Okay. I’ll help you.” He nodded thoughtfully. “If you’ll do something for me.”

“Do what?” You straightened up.

“I’ll tell you after we find Dr. Magic.”

You crossed your arms. “No, tell me now or no deal.”

“I tell you after, but you can still say no then if you don’t want to do it.” He bargained.

“That just sounds even more concerning, Renjun. Tell me now or I’ll do it myself.”

“I’m hurt. What happened to ‘it has to be us?’”

“I’m a siren, I know how to sweet talk. Don’t take it personally.” You snorted. “Now, what do you want from me?”

“You’re a siren,” he echoed plainly, as if that were all the explanation you needed.

“And you’re a genius.” You retorted. “Tell me now or I walk out.”

“I... want to experience siren venom. For science.”

Oh, you could kiss him right now, no deal necessary. He was meeting your gaze head-on, a slightly unhinged glint in his eye. Not a hint of fear, just a craving for new experiences, unbridled curiosity. Yeah, he was a bit crazy, you were realizing four years on, and you wanted him.

“You’re insane.”

He leaned back in his seat, putting his hands up in front of him in an ‘I-don’t-care’ gesture, “If you don’t want to find Dr. Magic—”

“I didn’t say no, I said you’re insane,” you corrected him with a grin, dragging your eyes up and down his form as he sat so confidently, negotiating with a siren like it was any average Tuesday for him.

“So do we have a deal?” He set his pen down and held a hand out to you.

“You help me find Dr. Magic, then I’ll spit in your mouth.” You momentarily thought about the disparity in division of labor on that, but decided not to point it out aloud. Easiest handshake of your life. “Deal.”

You wanted to eat him alive.

⤷ blog masterlist  ⤷ anthology masterlist

[barrenclan]

WOOO NEW ISSUE!! i began reading this earlier, but couldn’t finish due to me rereading what i had just read and focusing on the pictures!!! so yeah, finally finished it, and GRRR GOOD ISSUE

first off, throws thrasher in the cootstorm pit too, they can share. no transphobic kitties allowed (obviously not literally, but i love how like.. natural it is? it’s just cormorantpaw’s life and what he’s been raised to think). egrettail should deck him

also egrettail!!!!!! favorite kitty therapist!!!! i assume maybe asphodelpaw asked about her being aroace, maybe brought on after daffodil was like “oh!! ur just like me and asphodelpw!!!” to pinepaw, and that made her think “wait am i into men even?” but. yeah. she just wants to help and she’s such a sweetie

SEVEN. SILVERS. SHE’S MADE IT!!! SHE’S IN AN ISSUE FR!! ULTIMATE ALLY INVENTED HRT TO SUPPORT EGRETTAIL. THE MOST BASED CAT EVER. I LOVE HER SHE’S JUST A LITTLE KITTY. I HOPE SHE’S OKAY. IM GONNA SAY IT METHINKS EGRET, HUSH PUPPY, AND SEVEN SILVERS R FOUND FAMILY JUST A COUPLE OF CHOSEN SIBS. UNLESS THIS IS A NO. SORRY IM EXCITED ABOUT SEVEN SILVERS

shoutout to cormorantpaw for getting his 2nd issue. kinda a crime that i only bring him up now but its ok. i love the goofy early cartoons titlecard image with the literal lovebug and him just thinking it over before going “oh fk im bi” and i love how egrettail was like “it seems like it to me, but it’s up to u” bc she can’t really like. force him to think he has a crush, something about that was really gentle- back to cormorantpaw!!! now he’s a blushy mess and i love him for it. also WHAT DO U HAVE TO DO BOY. WHAT IS YOUR ANGST

yes i know daffodilpaw was hardly here but she still gets her own section bc that’s my favorite community hc collection. cormorantpaw doesn’t seem to want to be involved romantically with her, saying how she’s nice but also noting how she doesn’t tend to listen to him (which doesn’t make daffy a bad person!! just something they gotta communicate as buddies) but also mentioning how she puts her paw on his, and also in the sleeping shot cormorantpaw is staring past daffodilpaw, who sleeps next to him, and at pinepaw. i’m just. babey noooo. break out of ur toxic mindset its okkk. unless u actually do like cormorantpaw then i’m. sorry. how did i make the daffodilpaw section the longest oops

rate this issue 5 mysterious end birds out of 5!!! thank u for another great issue :3

So sorry not answering this ask for awhile! All that trouble with my account hit at a bad time. I'm glad you liked the issue, though. :)

Egrettail had the patience of a saint for not beating the absolute shit out of Thrasher when they were in Defiance, and I'm certain she gave him what for on more than one occasion after Hush Puppy died.

Yes, she and Asphodelpaw may have had a conversation about similar realizations she was going through just like Cormorantpaw, heheh. We'll get there someday.

I was so excited to finally include Seven Silvers in an issue!! When I first created her character I wasn't planning on it, but she's just too fun not to use. Hell, I'm allowed to invent magic cat hormone therapy if I want to, who's gonna stop me. Seven, Hush Puppy, and Egret are any manner of close friends you like, and found family/siblings are as good a way as any.

The POVs from other characters are not going to be very common, since Pinepaw is the protagonist in the end, but it's always nice to dip back into Cormorantpaw's thick little skull. I was pretty pleased with myself for thinking of the rubberhose style joke with "lovebug", honestly. Don't worry about his angst, I'm sure it's nothing.

Good catch on everything with Daffodilpaw in this issue! It's something I did intentionally include, and did want to draw a comparison between Corm describing her as not really listening to him with Pinepaw always listening to what he says (which as you said, doesn't mean Daff is a bad person, just that she's got her own things to work out).

[on-coming-dusk]

Summary: Wayne leaves the safety zone thinking he might find a couple of survivors that need help. If his lick is bad, he’ll find a few that need to be put down before they fully turn. The last thing he expects is to find a group of children, no adults in sight. 

Characters: Wayne Munson, Steve Harrington, Maxine Mayfield, Dustin Henderson, Lucas Sinclair, Erica Sinclair, Billy Hargrove, Eddie Munson, Gareth (the Great)

Warnings: Implied character death(s), unprocessed grief, implies manipulation, angst

Word Count: 1,355

A/N: This is the beginning of my Stranger Things zombie AU! This is actually a rewrite. I decided that I want this to be my first fic in present tense. So I rewrote this section and am reuploading it here. I have no idea how long it might be (yet). Steve is about fifteen here, Erica is roughly six, and I have all the other kids at nine. Wayne is written to be thirty six. This is a blend of zombie apocalypse worlds that I have been consuming recently and have inspired this work. It’s going to stay closest to the Warm Bodies universe (if you’re not familiar with the story it’s alright - you won’t need to know anything about it to understand!) Enjoy. 🙂

----------------

“Mr. Munson, why were you traveling alone?” Max asks, straight to the point as always. Wayne realized there is no beating around the bush with this one. 

“Maxine-”

“No Steve, it’s alright. That’s a fair question.” Wayne leans against his legs, edges closer to the fire. “We’ve been traveling together for a while. I’ll tell you my story, but it ain’t a happy one. You sure you wanna hear it?” 

Bright blue eyes dance in the dying flames as she looks up at him. “Is it scary?” 

“A little bit, yes. But most things are, Max, even before the zombies but especially now.” Wayne releases a steady exhale. “How about I tell you tomorrow, when the sun’s up and we’re on the move again?”

“Promise you’ll tell me?”

“Yes, I promise.”

She nods before turning her icy gaze to Steve. “You’ll sleep tonight?” 

“Wh-” Steve sighs before continuing. “Yeah, of course. I’m gonna take turns keeping watch tonight so that Mr. Munson can sleep too. You go lay with Erica, okay? I’ll see you in the morning.” She stares at him for a moment longer before moving to join the other kids, all fast asleep after another long day of walking. 

Wayne sits in silence with the teenager, listening to the girl get settled. He knows that it is time to extinguish the flames with all the little ones laying down for the night. He needs to put out the fire, to be safe, as a precaution. But he is cold. The flames can’t reach his core and fix the root of his problem but they are helping for now. All he can afford is another minute or two, that’s all he can risk, and even that isn’t responsible. It isn’t the responsible thing to do. He starts dumping handfuls of dirt onto the already weak fire. 

“Mr. Munson-” 

“Steve, please, call me Wayne.” His voice comes out choked and it surprises him. He is careful to keep his gaze locked on the last flames that dances. He has gone too long now not hearing his first name. If he hears Mr. Munson one more time he is sure he’ll shatter, break apart at the seams and fail all over again. “It’s the only thing I want in return for helping. Understand me?” 

The boy stares at him like he isn’t sure what to make of his words. “That’s all?”

“Yeah, I meant it when I said I want to help you and the little ones.” Wayne forces himself to his feet. He can’t keep sitting here, if he does he may never move again and there are people relying on him now. When he left the safety zone it was so that could help some poor bastards that are still out here. The last thing he expected was to find a group of kids led by one slightly older kid, but here he is now and he needs to protect them. No one else is going to do it, it was down to him, just like before. “Go peak on ‘em, make sure they’re asleep. I need to speak with you, just the two of us.” 

Steve nods, stays silent as he moves to where the kids are asleep. Wayne focuses on the task at hand, dumps more dirt over the last few embers. He pulls the flashlight from his side, aims it at the ground before turning it on. He has never liked the dark, but it is worse now than ever before. Every twig that snaps or leaf that rustles makes the hair on his neck stand on end. Monsters lurk in the shadows and they aren’t just zombies. 

“They’re asleep.” Steve is behind him again and Wayne bites the inside of his cheek to keep from reacting. 

“Good. Don’t need them all overhearing, just in case.” Wayne takes a seat again,pulls his jacket tighter around his shoulders in a vain attempt to keep warm. “You say you’re fifteen.?” 

“Yes.” Steve’s response is clipped.

“Wayne hums, looks at the beam of light on the ground. “I take it you never learned to drive before all this mess, did you?” He looks back up, finally meeting the boy’s gaze. 

Steve blinks in surprise, like this is the last thing that he expects to hear. “What?”

“You said you are from Indiana, right? Legal age to start driving there is fifteen, well, it was anyway, if you took that damn driving class. Though, something tells me with the end of the world you never got the chance to learn.”

“Um, well… My mom was teaching me to drive around our old neighborhood, Loch Nora. I - I haven’t had a lot of practice. But I know how to drive a little bit.” 

“Some experience is better than none. I take it you learned on an automatic?” 

“Yes.” Steve is staring at him, brows knit and eyes narrowed. 

“Guess I’ll have to teach you to drive stick then. That’s if you wanna learn. I’m not gonna force you to do anything you don’t want to. We’ll just be able to cover more ground if we have two people who can drive. It’ll allow us to cut out some risks, being able to stay on the move. Traveling on foot would be safer if there weren’t so many little ones in the group. We can’t keep moving at this rate, they’ll just keep getting more tired the longer that we’re out here. A car opens up the possibility of new threats, but I think it’s a chance worth taking. Our best chance of getting to the safety zone, all things considered, is by car. What do you think, Steve?”

Steve is still staring, mouth slightly agape. “I - I um… I-”

“Steve, are you alright?” If it were lighter or the fire was still burning Wayne might notice the way his shoulders shake as he tries to force rhythm back into his breathing. “Shit.” 

“I’m alright sir, I swear!” He sounds far from it, he is crying for Christ’s sake. 

“Don’t pretend to be okay when you aren’t, it’s bad for you.” Maybe someday he’ll listen to his own advice. Wayne keeps the beam of light aimed at the ground, giving Steve what little privacy he can spare. “I know it’s a lot to ask of you. And I’m sorry to put so much responsibility on you, but you’re the closest thing to another adult that I got right now.” 

“No that’s not it. I can help, I want to help.” Steve sniffles, wipes his face on the sleeve of his sweater. “I- I’m sorry. I just… I have to keep them safe, Wayne. They’ve been looking at me, asking questions that I don’t have the answers to for weeks now. I have no idea what I’m doing. We were going to die out here until you stumbled across us and they’re just so young. Erica is barely six, Wayne. They’re still babies.”

“You’ve got that right.” He places a tentative hand on the boy’s shoulder. “We can do this, Steve. I know it seems like the odds are stacked against us, and maybe they are, but that ain’t gonna stop us.” He takes a slow breath in, forces his voice to stay even. “I made a promise to someone I lost that I am going to help as many people as I can/ I might have only stumbled across your group but we’re here now. Our paths have crossed. We’re going to get to the safety zone, all of us. You hear me?” Wayne squeezes his shoulder, and Steve meets his gaze, gives a sure nod even as tears still run down his cheeks. “You need a minute?” 

“No, I’m alright.” He swallowed hard. “Do you have a car? Or do we like, steal something..?” 

“With a little luck I’ll still have a car. If something happened I fully plan on stealing something. You think you can live with that, kid?” 

Steve nods immediately. Maybe it’s bad luck to acknowledge it, but Wayne can feel it in his chest. They're going to be okay.

----------------

End A/N: To be honest, I want to upload this to AO3 at some point but I am in the middle of writing several other works. I know myself well enough to know that I am going to keep writing this in bite sized pieces that I’ll probably just keep uploading here all linked together for now. 🙂

I would love any thoughts, opinions, general vibes or just a nice conversation! My inbox is always open!!! 

[thefallenbibliophilequote]

Little Black Dress

Bucky x Reader

Summary: Bucky has had a lot of trigger words throughout his life, but he never thought he would find a new one- until you uttered it.

Word count: 2,938

Warnings: mean girls, language, body insecurities angst, fluff, many alludes to sex, Bucky being a romantic.

A/N: this is for Kas' writing challenge @wkemeup congrats on 10k followers! You are incredible and deserve all the love! My prompt was: A is feeling insecure about how they look. When B asks what's wrong, A attempts to explain but B is genuinely confused because they can't imagine a world in which A is anything but perfect.

A/N2: did I insert Taylor lyrics in between? Maybe… But You Are In Love and Fearless are superior. Also, shit got deep and real here. This is not beta read, sorry!😅

No one is allowed to repost my writing or steal or copy my work! Reblog on tumblr is fine.

Masterlist

--

It all started with a stumble, but then again- doesn't it always?

You were walking down the sunny street, book in hand, with the wind surrounding you as you went forward.

On your right, the door to a bar opened with a thud and you looked up to see two men walking out an elderly man who has been clearly drinking all morning. You heard him when you passed by the bar, turning your head to him.

"Excelsior!" his words were slurred but the sight still made you laugh. You however didn't get the chance to laugh when you stumbled forward, hand shooting forward to block your fall to the ground. Those hands ended up being set on a chest. A very firm chest. You looked up to the man who caught you from falling and were met with beautiful blue eyes.

"Are you okay? He asked and straightened you up, both of his hands on your waist.

You managed to tear your eyes away from him, you quickly nodded.

"Yes, thank you." You smiled shyly at him, blushing when you realized your hands were still on his chest. You quickly moved them away just as he moved his gloved hands away from you.

He bent down to pick up the book that fell out of your hands.

"The Hobbit? Good choice." He winked at you when he handed it back to you.

"Thanks, I've heard great things about it, so I finally decided to buy it and read it." You looked at the book, frowning when you remembered you didn't place a bookmarker in it. You chuckled lightly, looking at him before continuing, "It's great so far, but I didn't bookmark it so now I lost my page."

"You're on page 106," the man racked his hand through his hair and straightened up his red shirt.

"And how do you know that?" feeling amused, you opened the book to the page he said only to find it to be the exact page you were in. You frowned, remembering you shut the book when you felt yourself falling.

"I just have very good eyesight," he once again ruffled his hair as he stuttered, "and memory… sorry if that made it weird." He scrunched his nose and you couldn't help but think of how cute he is.

"It's okay, it's not weird- pretty impressive actually." You held the book in your hands before smiling at him and taking a step back. "Well, I should go… thank you again."

You put a hand on his arm before moving past him and continuing your walk down the street.

Bucky stood in place for a moment after you left, chuckling to himself he walked forward with you still in his thoughts. After all that he has been through, being an assassin and a spy taught him to be calculated, think things through and be confident in his actions.

But he didn't know you, so why did he feel the need to turn around and go to you?

It made no sense, and yet he did just that.

He turned around and ran until he caught up to you and stood in front of you. With surprised eyes and a questioning brow, you looked at him, awaiting for what he has to say.

"Hi," he extended a hand to you with a charming smile that had you melting. "I'm Bucky."

And that's what started it all.

•

It was a few months later that you walked with Bucky back to your apartment after another wonderful date night. He had told you who he is early on and he swore that he fell for you faster after you reacted well to it and reassured him that you still want this- whatever this is. The two of you decided to take things slow, Bucky liked courting you properly and you didn't mind at all, it was obvious that your feelings for him grew and that you were quick to fall in love with him, and it was obvious that he returned the same feelings. Lately the tension felt heavier, the need was stronger, and with every lingering touch and every glance at your lips, you knew that tonight will be it. Your first kiss. Sure enough when Bucky stood at your doorstep you felt it coming, you saw it in his blue eyes, felt it in the air, and heard it in your heart. A million thoughts raced on your head in slow motion, fear clouded them when Bucky turned to look at you. What if he will regret this? What if this is a mistake and he will leave? What if you weren't good enough for him? You looked into his eyes as he pulled you in and it gave you the bravery to push all of those thoughts out and focus on the man in front of you, and so you wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned in to meet him in the middle. It's the first kiss, it's flawless and you let it take over you, fearless.

Since then, when your relationship got official, things went ever upwards. You learned more about one another, you grew closer; you laughed, you cried; you fought, and you talked; you said I love you, and he always said it back.

•

"Definitely not that one!" you laughed when Bucky pulled a sparkling dress that was sure to blind someone out of the rack. His laugh was music to your ears, booming and made his eyes crinkle, he was gorgeous.

Bucky put the hideous thing back in place and continued walking with you, hand in hand, looking for a perfect dress for Tony's party.

You were looking around when you passed a mannequin wearing a gorgeous little black dress- one that you wish you could wear. You let your eyes linger on it as you passed by it, not looking at Bucky who noted your gaze on the dress, and yet despite that you did not stop to Bucky's surprise.

"Okay how about we divide and conquer? You go find yourself a suit, I will go try to find a decent dress."

"Sounds good, Doll, just don't get lost here." You laughed as he winked and went to the other side of the shop.

You went through the various clothing items when you came across the dress that you saw earlier, it was black, basic and yet so special; on the mannequin it looked perfect and yet you couldn't help but wonder if it would look good at your body, it was a lovely dress but what if you will ruin it by wearing it? It would be so pretty, just not on you.

You went on to try and find dresses that will fit you better.

Bucky was in the men's section where he picked out an outfit when a saleswoman walked up to him with a big smile on her face.

"Hello, would you like any help?" she asked him and he saw the way the woman looked over his body shamelessly. He was about to shake his head when he saw you still picking out dresses.

"Actually-"

"A handsome guy like you deserves the best suits, let me show you some that would flatter you," she put a hand on his bicep.

Across the room you saw the sight and your face fell, you knew Bucky wouldn't do anything but still seeing other girls flirt with him made your blood boil and insecurities rise. You never told Bucky about these feelings, what would be the point? You quickly decided to wrap it up and take the pretty purple dress you found, it's more in your comfort zone, it's probably better.

Bucky laughed nervously before backing away from the girl and looking at her.

"Actually, I was hoping you could save a certain dress for my girlfriend." He smiled when he saw her face fall a bit, stuttering, she only nodded.

Only a few minutes later he met you at the counter, eyeing the dress you picked before giving you a quick kiss on the cheek. The girl in from earlier appeared, you saw the way she looked at you when Bucky put his hand around you, Bucky only smiled at you, his arm still around you as you exited the store.

Putting you on his motorcycle, you wrapped your arms around him as he drove you home, but the thoughts would not leave your head.

"Doll, I need to go on a couple of errands before the party, so I'll meet you in the tower before?" you took off your helmet and nodded at him.

"I'll see you there." With a kiss he was gone out of your sight.

•

You stepped into the avengers tower with a bag with your dress and essentials inside it a couple of hours later, going to rest a bit with Bucky before the event starts and you'll both have to get dressed.

You got inside the elevator, sighing as you leaned against the back of the elevator, and then mentally groaning when the elevator doors opened up yet again only one floor later.

"I think it is just rubbish, there is no way." One of the two girls who walked in said to the other.

"I'm telling you, that's what I heard!" the two girls were with their backs towards you, they probably didn't notice you were there at all as they continued to gossip. "Sergeant Barnes has a girlfriend now, I heard Dot talking and apparently she is totally not on his level."

"I bet he is with her because of pity, it will never last," The blonde snickered. "Do you think he will be at the party tonight? Maybe we could talk to him, who knows what might happen."

Her friend nodded and you felt your heart sink down, suddenly this elevator was too crowded for you.

"That bitch will probably run home crying by the end of it." You thanked the gods when the elevator opened at their floor.

Holding the tears back, you quickly pressed the close button so no one else will get into the elevator as you went to Bucky- you had to keep it together, for him. You know he loves you, he will make it all go away.

And when you reached his floor, his smile immediately made your eyes shine as you happily jumped into his embrace.

"What took you so long, Doll?"

•

"Are you sure we have to go?"

"Yes."

"But do we have to? You're a supersoldier, you can protect us!" you giggled when he poked your sides. The two of you were tangled up in bed sheets, too comfortable with each other's presence to move away, your bodies were pressed together with his arms securing you to him and you wished you could stay like this forever.

"I will protect you no matter what, doll, but I promised to come to that stupid party and I can't be there without you," he kissed down your neck slowly, knowing just how to get to you. "Plus, I have a surprise for you."

"Oh? Is that so?" you raised an eyebrow at him.

"Mhm," he kissed up your neck again so he could look at you. "I would love to stay here like this and spend the night worshipping you, but I am really looking forward to this surprise- I promise that I'll worship you afterwards."

"I will hold you to that promise, Sergeant!" you laughed as he got up from the bed and went towards his closet. When he came back you saw that he carried a bag from the same store that you were in today. "What is this?"

"Go on, open it." Hesitantly, you opened the bag and you faltered when you saw what was inside, the little black dress you had your eyes on.

"How did you-"

"I saw you staring at it, so I got it for you." He sat down next to you again and pulled the material out of the bag. "I don't know why you didn't take it, but I would love to see you wear it, give me a show?"

He wiggled his eyebrows and despite your internal struggle you nodded at him as you went to change in the bathroom.

When you came back into the room, Bucky's eyes turned a shade darker, and all he wanted to do was take that dress off of you. You paid no mind to him as you walked over to the full length mirror, moving your hands across your body and assessing yourself as Bucky's gaze followed every move you made.

"Doll, you look-" you barely heard him though when you voiced your thoughts to the mirror.

"I am so ugly, this dress looked beautiful on the mannequin it's a shame I'm ruining it." You said as a matter of fact, "I think I will wear the dress that I picked, it's better."

Bucky's eyes snapped up from your ass to the back of your head as you continued looking at the reflection, taken aback by what you said so calmly.

Bucky has had a lot of trigger words throughout his life as the winter soldier, after getting rid of those he never thought he would find a new one until you uttered the word-

"Ugly." You shrugged, "I could give it to Natasha- she would love it."

"What did you just say?" Bucky rose up from the bed, and at the tone change of his voice you turned around to him.

He just couldn't wrap his head around it. You, his girl, the girl he knew he was going to spend the rest of his life with; the girl who took his heart so quickly he wondered if maybe it was always yours; You, the girl who he is certain must be a goddess, the girl that is so beautiful he is certain he would be distracted in a battlefield by; the girl who smiles at him and takes his breath away; the girl who can shatter any bad day he has only by the smell of her perfume and her words; You, that girl, was right now standing in front of him calling herself things he could never associate with her.

"What do you mean, Bucky?" you got confused at the slight anger in his blue eyes, it wasn't at you, but you still saw it there.

"Don’t you dare call my girl ugly," he said it so strongly you were afraid you would upset him, you didn't mean for your insecurities to slip into his view- you didn't mean to say it in front of him.

"Bucky, but it's true. I know that you love me as I am, but I can't really ignore this, I mean- look at me." You pointed to the mirror behind you with a small nervous chuckle. "It's okay."

"Doll, it's not okay, what are you talking about? You're gorgeous!" you wrapped your arms around yourself, suddenly feeling too exposed and it was not because of the dress.

"Bucky, I'm not- maybe you just don't see it, but I do. Love can make you blind." You didn't know exactly what to say to make this conversation go away, and from the determined look in Bucky's eyes you knew avoiding and escaping was not an option. You lowered your eyes down.

Bucky sighed, taking a moment to collect himself as he studied your body language before taking a step forward and bringing your chin up so you would look at him, caressing your cheek.

"I'm sorry doll, I didn't mean to attack you- I just can't have you talking like that about my best girl." He pressed a soft kiss on your forehead, staying close so you could see the sincerity in his eyes. "Do you always feel this way?"

You only nodded the best you could with his hand holding your chin up.

"Why didn't you talk to me about this?"

"What's there to talk about? You didn't need to see this, this is just the situation, this is just how I see it, this is just a fact." You shrugged.

"Doll, this is not a fact, this is self hatred." Bucky shook his head, he could not imagine a world in which you are anything but perfect, "I know it's hard to accept yourself doll, but I need you to know that you are beautiful and absolutely breathtaking in this dress."

Bucky turned you around towards the mirror, wrapping his arms securely around you before letting his hands roam your body which he spent nights memorizing.

"Don't say that word again, doll give me the chance to show you what I see." With a shuddering breath you nodded at him as he continued to shower you with praise that made your cheeks warm.

"Does that mean we are not going to the party?" you chuckled as a small smile rose on your lips.

"Oh no, we are definitely going to the party," he whispered in your ear. "I am going to show you off to every single person there, point out every guy and girl that stare at you, longing and jealous, and then make sure they all know that you are mine, gorgeous." He sealed that with a soft kiss on your lips. When you tried to kiss him again he pulled away. "Hmm, I just had a great idea."

"What is it?" a mischievous smile grew on his face.

"I think we should angle the mirror towards the bed." If your cheeks weren't hot before, they were burning now.

•

Tags: @callmeluna @sstanbarnes @buckys-other-punk @drabblewithfrannybarnes @easygoingtheatre @that-one-person @justab-eautifulmess @onceupona-happilyeverafter @wipplogg @supraveng @samwilsons-pillowpecs @ayybtch @kitkatd7 @chrissquares @make-me-imagine

[whaleofatjme1920]

Sorry about my last ask if it wasn’t clear enough. English is not my first language, so I hope it wasn’t hard to read!

Could I have Sal showing his face to his s/o, and them being stunned for a moment? Maybe something angsty nearing towards hurt for his situation, what he had to go through, and feeling bad for giving him a bad first reaction but wanting to be there for him.

Your Apology Isn't Loud Enough

[GN!Reader]

[Warnings: angst appropriate.]

[AN: You weren't confusing at all with the first ask! Sometimes I just,,,, like showing you guys similar stuff so it lightens my work load if the prompts are really similar. So,,,,, you gave me the ability of angst. That's my true specialty. And well, I ran with it. SO- 1581 words <3]

The possibility of seeing Sal’s face has been the elephant in the room throughout your entire relationship with him. You know he’s protective of himself, self conscious, you know that him even letting you into his life is a vulnerability in itself, and you know that he loves you more than the ocean loves the shore. Sal is perfect in every sense, mask or not.

And you’re dead certain you’ll love him, regardless of what he looks like or not. You’re dead certain that Sal is the man for you through thick and thin. You’re dead certain that he’ll be perfect for you, just as much as you are his.

So, why are you hesitating so badly now?

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Just another evening at your apartment with Sal, running your fingers through his hair, his head on your abdomen, watching Jerry Springer and switching that between Law and Order SVU. You’ve brought snacks out but Sal never eats as much as you due to his prosthetic only allowing so much space.

“Y’know,” you start as you lift another slice of pizza, “you can eat more if you want.” It comes out like an observation, nothing more. You feel the blue haired beauty resting on you stir.

“Hm?” He hums, almost as if he was lost in watching the paternity test of the currently separated couple on the screen.

You giggle softly before taking a quick bite, chewing, and then swallowing. “I’m just saying I don’t want you to be malnourished around me.” You wipe your hands on a napkin before tossing it to the coffee table and double check your hands are clean before gently petting Sal’s head. He feels so soft beneath your touch.

Sal seems to visibly light up from beneath his prosthetic before he shifts on the sofa, his hand also groping for the remote.

You raise your brow as he sits back up and turns off the TV before you adjust your sitting position as well. “You alright?” You ask as Sal tosses the remote back to the coffee table. He nods. “You really think you’d be comfortable with me…” His gaze glances over to the food still on the coffee table. His thumbs are twirling around each other rapidly, and you swear you can hear his heart run wild in his chest. Is he really, really that nervous? You’ve been a good partner all this time, but you were expecting this, this behavior, him finally showing you the most vulnerable side of him.

You steady yourself and smile reassuringly. “Yes, of course,” you say in a lighthearted tone as you take his hands gently into yours. “I love you Sal, so, so much.”

Sal’s eyes close before he releases a shaky breath. He seems a tad apprehensive, but as you rub your thumbs gently over the back of his hand, he feels a bit more at ease. He softly murmurs an “okay” before gently disconnecting his hands from you. He’s trembling ever so slightly. Sal’s hands slowly move up to the back of his head where the clasps of his prosthetic are. “And you’re sure?”

You feel a warm glow of love flood your system. “Yes. Absolutely.” You lean forward and peck a kiss to his prosthetic’s cheek, the pink section, before withdrawing to see him in full. “You’re already beautiful to me, Sally.”

His guard dips just a bit more, and he slowly nods. “Okay,” he whispers, more so to himself than anyone else. He catches the prosthetic with one of his hands before gingerly lowering it down to his lap. And he smiles. It’s a nervous smile, but he smiles regardless.

You, on the other hand, are at a loss for words and not in a good way. You’re not quite sure what you’re feeling, as you finally gaze upon the face of a man you think you love. The right side of his face is littered with scars, cross hatched like they struggled to heal. His teeth are slightly visible, and they’re glaring at you as he smiles (but it’s slowly dying). He doesn’t have a nose, but rather, two slits. His exhale is picking up, like he’s nervous once more.

You’re still, much too still. You’re in conflict with yourself. Never would you ever consider yourself so shallow, and you’re not! You’re just stunned. You don’t have any words. You know Sal to be beautiful inside, but the out-”oh my god that’s not good.” Immediately after saying it, your eyes go wide, hand covering your mouth. “Fuck, fuck, Sally please-”

“This was a mistake,” Sal mutters as his hands clamber around his prosthetic, hastily throwing it back on. “I shouldn’t have shown you, you weren’t ready or near accepting enough,” he continues to spout out to himself, moving faster and faster to get away from you.

You blink before jumping up, attempting to catch him. You can feel tears welling in your eyes as you haphazardly throw things around the living room space through your attempt to reach him. “Sal, no, it’s not like that-”

He huffs as he finds his coat. “I don’t want to hear it. You can’t make me feel better with some bullshit excuse.”

“I was just shocked, you’re-”

“I’m what, Reader?” He cuts you off in an exasperated tone. He’s had to deal with so many people giving him hell for this. His partner being added to that list breaks his heart deeper than you could ever know. “I’m not what you expected? I’m not pretty enough?” His hand grips at the doorknob as if he were attempting to choke it. “Not normal enough? Not handsome enough for your fantasy?” He opens it with a slam. “Not whole enough?”

The last one bites at your core. You begin to apologize profusely, hands pathetically reaching out to hold him when he pushes your grip off. You call out to him, tears running hot down your cheeks. “Please, let’s just talk about this,” you call out, voice strained and choked by sobs. “I’m so, so sorry-Sally please-”

Sal pauses for a brief moment before the elevator doors open on your floor. He holds them with his arm before using his other hand to motion for you to stay where you’re at. “I’m not in the right headspace for you.” He steps in, pressing the ground floor. “And I don’t know if I’ll ever be again.” It’s said so softly, like a whisper, like a regret, like a promise.

More tears bead in your eyes before you find the strength to slam your door shut out of frustration. You can feel your phone in your pocket, and restrain yourself from fishing it out to spam him with apologies. You didn’t mean to. Honest. You love Sal, more than anything. It was just a shock, and your mouth ran faster than your logic could. NEVER, would you ever refer to him as broken, or as wrong, or as anything other than perfect - you made a MISTAKE.

You don’t even bother cleaning up the mess on the table and sluggishly trudge to your bed and flop down on it. You curl into a ball and cry.

What else is there to do?

-

-

-

A phone call. That’s all this is supposed to be. It’s been two weeks since the incident and you’re surprised both you and Sal managed to hold out this long. Your shared friends are sympathetic to both of you. While none of them would have so blatantly said what you did, they understand it was shocking and you didn’t really mean it. Still, that does not negate that you, one of the most important people in Sal’s life, said something so harmful that could set him back to childhood in self esteem.

“Hello?” You nervously say into the phone as you pace in your living room. You feel like you’re already on the burst of tears.

“Hey.” He sounds so exhausted.

A beat of silence.

“How… How are you?” You inquire gently.

Sal shifts slightly and glances at Larry, who gives him a reassuring nod and a small thumb’s up. “I’m better than last time,” he replies, voice struggling to stand still and strong.

“That’s good,” you say. “I’m okay.”

“Nice,” Sal says in an almost clinical way. He doesn’t want to ice you out like this, after all, he still loves you, it’s just different now. “Are you sure you’re alright?” A deep sigh leaves his lips, fingers rubbing his eyelids ever so slightly as he rests his elbows on his knees. He doesn’t want to be tired of speaking to you.

“I should be asking you that,” you mumble. “After how I spoke to you… Sal, I-I’m so sorry.”

“Reader, please-”

“I never should have said that. I wasn’t thinking. I wasn’t-” you groan softly to yourself, unable to verbalize just how apologetic, and how unintended it all was. “I know I shouldn’t be using excuses. I should have been there for you, and I should have been more considerate,” you continue in that same apologetic tone. You’re almost grateful that Sal lets you go off on a tangent of how much you want to be there for him and how deeply you still feel for him. You love Sal, you really do. “I’m sorry. For everything.”

Another sigh. “I know.”

“Is… Is this it?”

A long, uncomfortable silence falls between the two of you, telling you all you need to know.

[xpeachesncream]

lowkey (jjk) | 02.

⦿ boo’d up in the daytime

⦿ mackin’ & hangin’ in the nighttime

↳ series masterlist

summary: in order to pass organic chemistry and pay off your car damages from an accident, all you have to do is help the nerd, jeon jungkook, with a few things: pretend to be his girlfriend and teach him the ways of dating.

pairing: popular!reader x nerd!jjk

genre: college au, fake dating au, friends (with benefits?) to lovers au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 3.2k

warnings: cussing, implied sexual content/mature language, kissy-kissy koo, mentions of a boner, mention of sex and cum, seokjin’s still toxic

note: posting this chapter a little early since it’s butter weekend, plus the last part of liquid courage should be up sat/sun. still sticking to my schedule in my faq though, srry loves! i’ll do my best to update as soon as i can. 💗

tags: @taegularities​ @jimidol​ @miinoongi​ @bluesharksandfish​ @ggukkieland​ @unicornbabylover​ @thebeebi​ @preciouschimine​ @ladyartemesia​ @moonchild1​ @jikookiekosmos​ @marcoazz2​ @kootaes​ @wearenot7withu​ @codeinebelle​ @bigbootyjoonie​ @thisartemisnevermisses​ @maichiverse​ @ppeachyttae​ @fairysunooo​ @secretlycrazyhummingbird​ @yukiehyukie​

"I heard you were in an accident last night, babe. Are you okay? I'm so sorry I got mad at you yesterday." Seokjin comes towards you, cupping your face to look at every inch, every detail. You move away from his hold, backing up to give yourself some space.

"Seokjin, I told you to stop calling me that. Jesus. I'm fine. Don't need you to check up on me."

"Are you really gonna keep that up? I said I was sorry."

"Okay, and? I heard you."

"Really, that's it? Y/N, why are you being like this? What's the real reason?" He follows after you as you make your way to the library. To say Seokjin was persistent is an understatement— he was persistent for the wrong reasons. Like, keeping you close so he had you to fall on when things went wrong with another chick, his safety net.

"Because this is done, I don't know how many times I have to tell you. I'm tired of you doing this so, please. Just go." You slightly turn towards him as you climb up the stairs.

"I wanna work this out with you. Don't push me away. Let me help." You don't respond. He watches as you adjust your bag strap and wave at Jungkook. Seokjin chuckles and grabs your wrist gently, making Jungkook suddenly hop on defense as he balls his fists. Like he could do shit. Seokjin would probably wreck his ass with those broad shoulders.

Still. He hated how much of an asshole he was to you.

"Wait, what the fuck?" Seokjin laughs his rare, deep laugh that he uses when he's caught off guard. "You're hanging out with nerds, now?"

"And if I was, that would be none of your business." You snatch your arm away while glaring at him. You shake your head and continue walking towards Jungkook, relieved Seokjin finally left you alone today. Probably off to tell Namjoon, Yoongi and his friends how much of a bitch you've been and that you actually left him to hang out with a nerd.

Sunmi knows you're being tutored. However if that wasn't the case, she would question you, but she never take their side on shit. She remained loyal to you, and always supported you through whatever. That's why she's remained your bestfriend until this day. The senior chicks Seokjin and them hung around with though? Questionable. As long as Sunmi was by your side and you by hers, you both didn't care much for getting close to them.

"Hey, sorry you had to see that." You say as you sigh and set your bag down alongside of you on the long table.

"It's alright." Jungkook replies softly. "Are you okay?"

"Yes. Thanks." You give him a tiny, tightlipped smile. "So, should we get right into tutoring, or should we talk about the details of our deal? I have all afternoon." Luckily, it was quite loud in the loud section of the library. No one cared much to listen in to your secret deal with Jungkook, nor did anyone care because it was Jungkook.

"I do too. I guess, whatever works for you?"

"Let's get this tutoring over with first then iron out the rest." He nods.

"Sure." He pulls out his notebook. "Tell me, what are you struggling with?"

"Everything." He does a small head tilt.

"I doubt that. I'm sure you understand some things."

"No, you don't understand Jungkook. I'm legit drowning. I don't know what I'm doing wrong or where I'm lacking." Jungkook simply looks at you, lips pressed together before he nods. You're not lacking anywhere, he thinks. You're really not. The subject is just shitty and the spawn of the devil.

"That's okay. Well, can I go over some basics? Throw in some tips?"

"Yes, please. Lead the way. I need you." You chuckled, but it makes the heat rush to his cheeks. He hopes you don't catch the rosy tint creeping up on them, so he instantly grabs at the whiteboard near your table and starts to go over the very beginning, the very basics of this semester's OChem class. Maybe a bit from last semester, but last semester wasn't entirely that bad compared to this one.

He didn't expect you to be all that engaged for some reason, but he should have known you'd ask questions left and right, taking the black whiteboard marker from his hand to practice what you've learned with him watching and guiding you from your side. You were always focused, always so determined. You were incredibly smart. Incredibly beautiful.

Honestly, Jungkook go on for days.

The both of you hadn't realized it was nearing close to 5PM and neither of you had really eaten much since lunch. You sit, feeling pretty good about your first session with Jungkook. You feel a little bad having kept him for so long over OChem, realizing you still had things to iron out with him.

[sunmi] 4:34pm: hey babe, not gonna be leaving for a bit. i forgot i had to work on this psych project with jennie. you okay with leaving around 6/7?

"Crap."

"What's the matter?" Jungkook glances at you as you continue to stare at your phone and scroll away.

"Sunmi isn't leaving until later. I'll probably be stuck here for a little longer after you leave." You put your phone down, now resting your chin against your palm, nails slightly digging into your cheek.

"I-I can give you a ride, if you'd like? Plus, we still need to talk.. about stuff." He shyly says.

"Jungkook, that's too much to ask for."

"It's really not a big deal. How far do you live from campus?"

"Maybe a 10 minute drive, the next exit off the freeway." He shrugs.

"I'm going in that direction too."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. We can just talk on the way home."

"Would you be willing to stop by for dinner? We can talk then. Maybe it can be considered our 'first date.'" You joke with a small giggle.

"Oh, sure. Yeah." He gives off a tiny, nervous laugh. "Where did you have in mind?"

"Can we get.. hm—" You hum. "Fire Wings? Down the street?" He almost feels intoxicated watching how your eyes gleam under the light, how they brighten and widen when you mention food. You were cute, and you didn't even know it.

"Only if you tell me what flavors you get." He tries to get smart, which makes you laugh. He made you laugh.

"Is this judgment day? Gonna see if you should call quits on our deal before it even starts?"

"Maybe." He goes along with it.

"Okay. Garlic Parmesan and Dragon." You pack up your things before shooting him a look.

"Okay, solid flavors." He nods. "I guess we can continue on."

"You're funny." You giggle as you both throw your bags onto your backs. You stay in your position until Jungkook comes to your side so you can walk by him. You don't know much about him, but he has a soft demeanor and he makes you feel comfortable. You had only seen him a couple of times across campus, not really noticing him much in class either. You feel a little bad knowing you didn't even try being that he sat behind you, but better late than never I guess? Maybe there was a reason for all of this happening. The way he tutored you today was insane, too— he was super smart, but broke it down perfectly, was patient. He was patient.

No wonder Dr. K loved his ass.

"What about you?" You picked up the conversation.

"I usually go for a dry rub and Garlic Parmesan."

"I haven't tried any dry rubs."

"You can try one of mine later."

"Okay." You suddenly remember to shoot Sunmi a text before she comes looking for you everywhere on campus. Jungkook stays silent beside you, allowing you to do your thing without being too overbearing or nosy.

But, he honestly can't help but glance a few times.

[y/n] 5:11pm: sorry just saw this, hitching a ride with my tutor. don't worry about me! ty ily, have fun working on your project.

[sunmi] 5:13pm: tutor, as in jeon jungkook?

[y/n] 5:15pm: yeah, he offered.

[sunmi] 5:16pm: okay, that was nice of him. if he tries anything tho i'll beat his ass. text me when u get home?

[y/n] 5:17pm: don't worry about him, he won't lol i will.

[sunmi] 5:18pm: kk love u b

"Sorry." You say, tucking your phone into your pocket. "Had to text Sunmi."

"That's okay. You two are really close, right?"

"Yeah, since high school."

"Cool." At this point, Jimin, Taehyung and Hoseok are coming out of the café at the same you two are passing.

"What about you, where are your friends?"

"Um." He sighs, trying to avoid his friends obnoxiously waving and calling him from the distance. You glance over from behind his figure, chuckling a little bit. "That's them."

"Cute. You all are really close, too?"

"Ya, I've known Jimin the longest though." You smile and wave at them, causing them to gasp and whisper amongst each other with huge smiles on their faces.

"I'll need to meet them if we're gonna do this thing for real. Do they know?"

"Yeah kinda."

"That's okay. We should probably work on keeping it between us though." He nods.

"Okay, but. Can we save meeting them for later? They're a bit.. much." You smile.

"Sure."

"D-do I have to meet Sunmi?" You nod.

"If you wanna make this believable, yeah."

"She's kinda scary."

"Jungkook, she's not gonna bite your head off. She just has that look, but I promise she's sweet." That look, that resting bitch face. Really, you could be biased because it's Sunmi. She really only had issues if she felt disrespected. Other than that, she meant well. Same with you— you've been accused of being intimidating and having the same look but you don't mean any harm by it.

"Okay." Jungkook unlocks his black 2016 Honda Civic and pops his bag in the trunk. You do the same, while Jungkook goes to open the passenger door for you.

"Thanks." You smile sweetly at him. He climbs into his seat, hitting the button to start the car and sighs. The music in the background starts to play, and it sounds mellow, soothing— like it came straight out of a fairytale. His eyes widen as he rushes to lower the volume before shyly looking at you.

"Sorry."

"What, no. Don't be. What is this?"

"A Final Fantasy lofi mix." He begins to drive off as you turn the volume back up.

"It's nice. Pretty relaxing."

"Ya, it's nice to listen to after a long day." He pushes his glasses up at the light.

"Do you have family here?" He nods.

"I do. My mom and dad live about an hour away. I'm the only child. What about you?"

"Same. They're probably 30 minutes up north."

"Do you live alone?"

"Yeah, I live in a studio. It's actually my coworker's. She bought the space to rent it out. She lets me rent it for pretty cheap though."

"That's nice."

"You?"

"I live with Jimin. Our parents are close."

"What about your other friends?"

"Hoseok is dorming, and Taehyung would rather live back home with his family and commute. He's close to them. He'll crash at ours or Hoseok's from time to time."

"Are you close to your family?" He nods as he turns into the plaza lot.

"I suppose, yes. I'm just really quiet overall, so they think it's hard to read me sometimes." He parks and you watch as he shuts the car off with the same button. "You?"

"Yeah, I'm really close to my mom. Dad, a little questionable."

"Why, if I may ask?" He comes to open your door again, causing you to give him a small smile.

"He, um. Just got into some stuff." He watches as your body tenses while you fiddle with your fingers waiting in line.

"It's okay, don't think about it. I won't ask again."

"It's okay, Jungkook. Really. Maybe another time?" You look up at him and he nods. He stands way taller than you, almost at Seokjin's height, if not the same. He likes to wear baggy, dark clothing and doesn't do much to fix or style his hair.

He's simple, but in a good way.

You both order your food with Jungkook going first so he can grab a table afterwards. Before he could pay though, you offer to cover him for dinner as your way of thanking him for driving you home. You make your way over to the table he snags, Jungkook silently sitting at the high table with his legs pressed together and his hands clasped tightly on his lap.

"You okay?"

"Ya, why?"

"You look tense."

"Sorry. It's not everyday I have dinner with Y/N." You smile.

"Stop, relax." You watch as he slightly eases up. "So, this deal." He nods. "A month?"

"Yeah, I suppose."

"We have to convince people it's real or else people will know something weird is going on." You look at his hand, now resting on the table. "You're gonna have to hold my hand and kiss me, you know?" He swallows the lump in his throat. Shit, he thinks. Don't know if I can actually pull this off?

A kiss?! Fuck.

"Y-yeah."

"When was your last relationship, Jungkook?"

"8th grade." Your eyes widen.

"O-oh, now I see."

"What's that supposed to mean? It's terrible, I know but I—"

"No, no, no. You're good. It's totally okay, it doesn't matter. I'll just have to teach you to make it look realistic and not.. awkward." You perk up again. "Not saying that you are though, okay."

"I know."

"So, are you.."

"Am I..?" He cocks hid head to the side in confusion.

"Like.."

"Just ask Y/N."

"Are you a virgin?"

"I don't know." You furrow your brows.

"Huh?"

"Look, this is gonna sound really embarrassing and I don't know if I'm even ready to tell my fake girlfriend about it."

"Just say it. We have to know things about each other." He sighs.

"I— ugh." He groans. "I did it with my girlfriend at the time. Or I guess my ex because we had broken up and this was sometime during freshmen year in high school and she came onto me out of nowhere at a mutual friend's pool party. But it was weird because we were just hormonal kids and I was just curious so I slipped myself into her only to slip back out right after because—" He's rambling, but you're doing your best to keep up.

"Because?"

"I-I, ugh. Y/N." He shuts his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Are you really gonna make me say it?"

"Jungkook." You lean a bit to try and catch eye contact.

"I came right away." He says just as the worker puts down your food and takes the number from your table.

"Ohhhhhhh." You say as you nod slowly. "Okay."

"You can just run now." His head hangs low as he slowly slides his chicken over in front of him, causing you to chuckle.

"I'm not going anywhere. It's okay. Stop that."

"It's pathetic."

"No. Besides, I know you'll get better overall, and you'll find someone who will rock with you till the end. We'll work on this."

"Thanks." He says, feeling comfortable around you. You were quick to reassure him and smile at him, he felt himself melting in his seat. Yeah, you were too good for Seokjin.

"You'll have to come to parties with me. Club events. Events in general. It won't look right if I'm always going without you."

"Okay. Can I bring my friends?"

"Sure." He nods. "What do you do in your free time?"

"Play video games and listen to music. Read comics, manga. Build lego sets with the guys."

"Cute." You smile.

"You?"

"Hang out with Sunmi, or just watch movies on my own at my place. Read. Eat by myself. Explore by myself. I value my alone time."

"It's nice." Jungkook's familiar with it. Even if he had his friends around, he truly liked being in his own peace when allowed. "What about outside of the public eye?"

"Hm?" You hum.

"Do we hang out?"

"Yeah we can." You nod.

"Cool." He smiles.

"Is my car gonna be a lot of work for you?"

"Don't worry about it, it'll be good soon. Just might take a bit cause I need some parts to make it look brand new again."

"I really can't thank you enough." He shrugs.

"Only trying to help my girlfriend out." He boldly says, causing you to laugh.

"Confidence is peeking through already, are you sure you need me?" You joke. The rest of the evening, you continue to talk to Jungkook about pretty surface level shit— what you like, dislike, overall experience in high school and college so far. It was a nice, harmless conversation, one where you were starting to see how warmhearted Jungkook really was. How real and laid back.

None of the shit in Seokjin's group. It was refreshing, a breath of fresh air.

Once dinner had finally finished, Jungkook was on his way to drop you off. He had parked in an empty guest spot, offering to walk you up just to be sure. At the door, he took a peek at how clean your studio was, mainly soft colors of white and cream taking over, with plants scattered around your living room area. The hallway in was sandwiched between your kitchen area and another wall, Jungkook assuming your bed was on the opposite side of it. He awkwardly stands at the door, afraid of overstepping.

"Well, goodnight Y/N. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Hey, wait." You smile and come close to him. He swallows, his mouth suddenly feeling dry when he feels your breasts press against his chest. "First lesson— give me a kiss."

"Right now?"

"Jeon Jungkook, we're doing this tomorrow. People are gonna have to see this at least once while we're together." He nods and presses a quick kiss against your cheek. "Not bad, but a little longer?" He complies and presses another kiss, leaving his pillowy lips against your cheek for a little longer before pulling away. "Perfect. Now here." You point at your lips before crossing your arms.

"Y/N, I—"

"Don't be afraid, just do it. I won't kick you in the balls or anything."

"It's not that. I just don't think I'm a great at this stuff."

"Okay." You tippytoe and gently grab his jaw while you lean towards his face. "Just relax, okay? Don't think too much of it." He stays silent, doe eyes constantly on you as you continue to inch forward.

Sparks. Just sparks everywhere for Jungkook.

He feels your soft lips against his and he relaxes, moreso because he feels like he's lost all senses being this close to you. Taking in your scent. Kissing you.

"There." He stands still, still trying to process the kiss. "Not bad. We'll get better over time, but at least that looks believable. Just—" You put his hands down as they were about to fall onto your hips during the kiss, but they fell short. "Let it happen and hold me, okay?" You smile. "Night Jungkook."

"N-night." He stutters as he watches you close the door. "Fuck." He whispers to himself when he realizes he's now sporting a boner. "Jungkook, what the fuck is this?!" He continues to whisper to himself as he waddles down your hallway.

[atlafan]

Open Door Policy - One Shot

a/n: so, I love a good professor!harry fic, but I don’t always love when he gets involved with a student, so y/n is his TA. He’s 26, and she’s 23, so not too weird, right? Anyways, this took me a few days to write, and I didn’t mean for it to be this long, but here we are. This is a slow burn fam, like...buckle up. Reblogs are always very kind and helpful! Not proofread. 

Warnings: angst, fluff, and smut! 

Words: 21.5K 

It was Y/N’s second year in grad school. She knew how to handle her workload on top of still making time for fun. She was still able to go out to the bar, and party with her friends. However, she was serious about her research. She had a “big girl” apartment that she shared with two friends, each having their own room. Grad school was expensive, and even though she had a decent job working at the local café, it wasn’t enough to cover her bills. Luckily, she got a grant to be TA this semester, which was perfect because she was interested in teaching at a collegiate level at some point. Her excitement dwindled slightly when she got the email about what professor she’d be paired up with.

“Who is it?” Nessa asks, plopping down on the couch with her.

“Dr. Styles.” Y/N groans.

“Tell me, why is that a problem?” Charlotte asks, coming over with a bowl of popcorn so they could start their movie night. “He’s so fucking hot.”

“Exactly! How am I supposed to concentrate?! I had him my senior year for an elective and it was awful. I was flustered all the time. He’s such a nice guy too, I missed a class where we had a test and he let me make it up, no questions asked.”

“Great, so he’s a good professor to learn from.” Nessa says. “Oh, maybe you’ll get a closer look at some of his tattoos.”

“There’s nothing to be nervous about, Y/N, he’s only a few years older than us, you know?” Charlotte shrugs. “Maybe you’ll fall in love.” She teases her.

“Mhm, yeah, because I’m sure a guy who has his PhD in Computer Science is just dying to go out with a girl who’s only a TA so she can afford her last year of school.”

“What class are you even helping him with? You’re not specializing in CS.” Nessa says.

“Apparently it’s for the section of Web Expressions he teaches, that was the class I took with him. It was really easy, you just learn the basics of HTML and then build your own website.”

“Did you just say that was easy?” Nessa scoffs.

“My older sister ended up helping me a lot because she had a myspace back in the day, I guess you needed HTML for that.” Y/N shrugs. “It’ll be a good experience for me.”

“Okay, but you’re just specializing in Curriculum and Instruction, so-“

“Yeah, that involves Instructional Design, so I know about this stuff. I’m just not looking forward to doing it with him.” She sighs.

“Could be worse.” Charlotte smirks. “You could have gotten with some old fart who would let you flounder.”

“Very true.” She closes her laptop and sets it on the coffee table. “Alright, let’s get this HSM party started.”

//

A week later Y/N received an email from Dr. Styles to meet with her so they could discuss the class and make sure they were on the same page about the syllabus. She was a nervous wreck. Y/N used to avoid his office like the plague, too afraid to be alone with him. It’s not that Dr. Styles was a creep or ever put off any inappropriate vibes, he just had this sort of intimidating stare to him. Even when he’d laugh, seeing him soften was intimidating. The sound of his deep, raspy voice was almost a little too soothing, and she was obsessed with his sense of style. His nails were always painted different colors, and he had the cutest pair of round glasses that would sit on the tip of his nose.

Even though it was August, and still very hot out, Y/N wanted to make a good, professional impression. So, she decides on a pair of white slacks that have a tie in the front, a white tank top tucked in, and a navy blue three-quarter sleeve blazer. It was too humid to leave her hair down, so she puts it up in a cute, messy bun. She puts on a little makeup, grabs her laptop bag, and out the door she goes. She puts her sunglasses on immediately, almost getting blinded by the blazing sun.

She had never been in an academic building at this point in the summer. There were a few faculty puttering around, getting their offices situated for the semester. She smiles at a few of them as she takes her sunglasses off. She heads up to the third story where Dr. Styles’ office was. There was no a/c in this building, but luckily the room they’d be teaching in would have it due to all the computers.

His door was open, and she nearly walked right by him. She back peddles and already feels weak kneed. He had his glasses on, pushed closer to his face than usual, a small fan on his desk blowing the hair that wasn’t in the little sprout on the top of his head back, and he was wearing a white t-shirt.

“Um, Dr. Styles?” She nervously taps on the outside of the doorframe. He looks up from his computer and smiles.

“Miss Y/L/N?”

“Yes.” She smiles back at him.

“Come on in, have a seat.”

It was the accent, that fucking British accent that she remembered was the most distracting part about him. He had this drawl to his voice that was irresistible.

“Do you want me to, um…” She points to the door.

“No, no, too bloody hot to have that thing closed. The little window I get barely opens so I only have this fan to really keep me cool.” He frowns slightly at her appearance. “Why’d you get so dressed up? You must be sweltering.”  

“I’m okay!” She blushes, and takes the seat in front of his desk. “I just…you know, wanted to look nice.” His eyebrows raise slightly. “I mean, like, not nice, but professional.”

“Well, don’t feel like you need to be dressed up like this all the time. I want you to be comfortable. You don’t see me all dressed up.” He smirks.

“You’re a tenure-track faculty, you can do whatever you want.”

“Not true.” He leans forward and rests his chin on his palm. “I can’t call a student an absolute moron when they ask me a stupid question.”

“I thought there were no stupid questions.” She smiles.

“God, there’s tons.” He scoffs and sits up straighter. “But we have to encourage students to speak up when they’re confused, so.” He shrugs. “Anyways, let’s look at the course, yeah?”

“Okay.” She takes her laptop out and sets it on his desk, scooting closer.

“I added you to the moodle page, so you should have full access to everything. You’ll be grading a bit, so I wanted to make sure you knew how to get in there.”

Once Y/N logs in, and clicks into the course, she smirks.

“What?”

“Looks at the exact same.”

“What do you mean?”

“I actually, uh, took this class with you a couple of years ago.” She furrows her brows at the page. “You know, you should really update this, it’s lazy to use the same design year after year.” She sort of says it without thinking and then feels embarrassed when she looks back up to meet his intimidating gaze.

“Interesting, usually I’m good with names…yours doesn’t ring a bell at all.” He looks at his own computer and crosses his arms. “And it’s not that I’m lazy, I don’t have a lot of control over the physical design. The assignments are much different, those I keep fresh.” He turns to look at her again. “I also teach eighteen credits worth of courses, I don’t exactly have time to sit and revamp all of them.”

“Well, maybe I could do that. I’ve taken a lot of Instructional Design courses.” She says brightly. “Studies show that students do better when their course pages are more inviting.”

“Alright, since you’re the expert, I’ll let you take the lead on that. Can we get back to the material itself? I have to make sure you know what you’re doing.” He squints at her. “You really took this class?”

“Yes.”

“And I was your professor?”

“Yes, Dr. Styles.”

He plucks his fingers over his lips.

“I feel bad for not remembering you.”

“It’s okay, I sort of kept to myself. You late me retake a test that I missed once, though.”

“Oh!” He snaps his fingers. “You missed class because you had a bad stomach bug.”

“Yeah.” She blushes.

“Poor thing, those are the worst when you don’t have mum around to help take care of you.”

“It’s alright, I recovered.”

“Clearly.” He smiles.

They spend the next hour or so going over the course and the materials. He tells her what he’ll need from her specifically. He’ll do most of the teaching, and she’ll bebop around helping students with questions. Oh, and grading, she’ll be helping with a lot of grading. He notices her wipe some sweat from her brow, and he frowns.

“Do you want a water? I have some in the fridge.”

“That would be great, thank you.”

He wheels over to his mini fridge and tosses her a water bottle. As she takes a sip, she notices him still looking at her.

“You can take that off, you know?”

“What?”

“Your blazer.”

“No, I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I’m, uh, only wearing a tank top underneath and I wouldn’t feel comfortable being so…exposed.”

“Oh!” He blushes. “I’m sorry, I hope my comment didn’t-“

“It’s fine.”

“I just hope you know I wasn’t trying to-“

“I didn’t.” She clears her throat. “So, I have full reigns to redesign some things?”

“Sure.” He shrugs. “Just as long as I can still navigate it.”

“Isn’t your PhD in Computer Science? You should be fine.” She closes her laptop and sticks it in her bag.

“Right…” He pulls his calendar up on his computer. “What’s your class schedule like?”

“With this one, I only have one other class that’s in person, the rest are online.”

“Perfect, then it should be easy to build in some office hours for you. We’ll have to share mine, I hope that’s alright. Not every TA gets their own office, but there’s plenty of room in here for two. This office actually used to have to people in it, I’m having a small desk brought in for you.”

“Oh, um, thanks. I also work a lot at the café down town, but it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“You work at Bento’s?”

“Yeah.”

“I go there all the time, how have I not seen you?”

“I work in the back as a baker.”

“Oh cool, I actually worked in a bakery when I was younger.”

“I know.” She rolls her eyes. “You used to mention it all the time in class.”

“I did?”

“Yes.” She chuckles. “You made it sound like so much fun it’s actually what made me apply to Bento’s in the first place.”

“Ah, well, glad I could help.”

They decide on the office hours that will work best, and then he dismisses her. Just as she’s about to leave, he says her name.

“Yeah?”

“When it’s just us feel free to call me Harry. You and I don’t need to be so formal, alright?”

“Okay.” She smiles. “See you next week.”

The second she gets outside the building, she rips her blazer off. She gets back to her apartment as quickly as possible, changes into a bathing suit, and gets in the pool outside. Charlotte and Nessa were already out there, sitting on chairs in the shade. Y/N gets out and towels off, sitting down with them.

“Needed to cool off after your time with Dr. Styles, huh?” Charlotte winks at her.

“Shut up.” Y/N nudges her friend. “It was so fucking hot in his office. I know it’ll cool down eventually, and I was also way overdressed. He only had a t-shirt and jeans on.”

“Did he remember you?” Nessa asks.

“Not at first, but of course he remembered the reason I missed class was because I had a stomach bug, how embarrassing.”

“Why is that embarrassing?” Charlotte asks.

“I don’t want him to think about me being all…icky.”

“Do you seriously still have a crush on him?” Nessa asks.

“It’s not a crush, he’s just insanely attractive. He looked so cute being all casual today.” She whines. “It doesn’t matter, he’s twenty-six and probably has a girlfriend or something, how could he not?”

“I don’t know, I wouldn’t wanna date a guy smarter than me. He probably man-splains all the time.” Charlotte says. “I bet he’s good for a quick fuck, and that’s about it.”

“I guess Y/N will find out.” Nessa giggles.

“You two are the worst.” She groans.

//

“Hey, Y/N!”

Y/N was in the back at Bento’s getting some bread proofed and ready for the morning crew. One of her coworkers was calling for her.

“Yeah?”

“There’s some guy out front asking for you?”

“What?” She wipes her hands on her apron and walks out front. She freezes when she sees Harry. She had a hairnet on, her face was laced with sweat, and she smelled like bread, which you would think would smell good, but it doesn’t. It had been a couple of days since their meeting.

“Sorry, had to see it for myself.” He smirks.

“See what, Dr. Styles?” She walks around the counter to speak with him.

“Harry.” He corrects her. “See you in action, of course.” He takes a sip from his drink. “I see you’ve already made some changes to the course.”

“Yeah, uh, it was pretty easy.”

“Well, it looks fantastic. I was going to email you, but I was stopping in here and I thought I’d see if you were working so I could just tell you in person.”

“Oh.” She blushes. “Thank you, that means a lot.”

“Well, I’ll let you get back to it. Don’t wanna get you in trouble.” He waves as he leaves, and she stands there stunned.

“Who the fuck was that?” Her coworker asks.

“Um, I’m his TA this semester. He wanted to tell me I did a good job on something.”

“Oh, shit.”

“What?”

“He’s gonna fuck you.”

“Stop!” She swats her hand at them. “Go take drink orders, I’m going back to the proofer.”

Harry was just being nice, and maybe he was looking for a good laugh. She shakes the thought from her head, he didn’t want to fuck her. He was way more professional than that.

//

On her first day as a TA, she decided on a pair of jean capris, and a light blouse. She left her hair down since it wasn’t humid. She felt more like herself, which was good. She goes to her now shared office with Harry first, just to drop her things off.

“Good morning.” She says shyly as she comes in. The small desk he had brought in for her was there, and there was a small plant waiting for her on it.

“Morning, Y/N, are you excited?”

“More so nervous, but yeah. What’s this?” She points to the plant.

“Got you a little something for your desk. It’s really easy to take care of, should only need water once a week.”

“Oh, thank you.” She tucks some hair behind her ear and sits down.

“Since it’s syllabus week, today will be really easy. We’ll go over a few things and then I’ll probably let them go early.”

“Alright.”

“I’ll give you a couple of minutes to introduce yourself too.”

“Okay.”

“Do you have a water bottle with you or anything?”

“Yeah, right here.” She takes it out of her bag.

“Great, a little trick I learned when I first started teaching is that sometimes you can end up answering a question you ask the students because you’re so nervous when no one answers right away. So, if you take a moment to take a sip of your water it gives them more time to speak up.”

“Thanks, that’s a really good tip.”

“You’ll do great.” He looks down at his watch. “Come on, we should head to the classroom, make sure all the computers are working.”

Y/N nods and follows him out. Her eyes drift down to how his butt looks in his khakis. He had a simple green t-shirt tucked into them. He was effortlessly handsome. The cool of the a/c in the computer lab helps snap her out of ogling. After they check the rows of computers, only one wasn’t working, so Y/N takes a DO NOT USE sign onto it.

“Brilliant.” He says to her.

Students start trickling in, and choosing their seats. The class was mostly boys, and only a couple of girls. Unfortunately, that was typical for courses like this, even if it was just a gen ed that literally anyone could take.

“Morning everyone, I’m Dr. Styles, and I’d prefer you call me that. I worked a long time to be called that, so please don’t call me by my first name. You can call me professor, though, if you feel comfortable.” He smiles at the class. “We’re very lucky this semester, I have a TA that will be able to help you with assignments.” He gestures to Y/N.”

“Hi, yeah, my name’s Y/N, you can feel free to just call me that. Um, I’m in my second year of grad school. I’m studying curriculum and instructional design. I’m excited to be with you all this semester.”

Y/N takes a seat to the side of the room while Harry pulls up the course and the syllabus on the projector.

“Now, who here is a CS major?” Most of the class raises their hand. “Right, try branching out for your gen eds, your eyes will bleed if you don’t.” He jokes. “What about those of you who aren’t CS, just shout it out.”

“Communication.”

“Undecided.”

“IT.”

“Psychology.”

“Wonderful, glad we’ll have a little bit of variety. Y/N redesigned this class, so I’m hoping you’ll appreciate what she’s done to make things easier for you.”

Y/N takes attendance, and then sits back down so Harry can go over the syllabus and explain some of the more intricate assignments. He also explains his door is always open for anyone that needs extra help. He wanted to make a good impression since he knew some of the students would end up in some of his higher level courses.

“Please take some time to go over some of the basic codes and short cuts we’ll be using quite a bit. For our next class we’re going to work on a site together, alright?” There’s a hum of agreement throughout the class. “Great, and just so you know, Y/N will be doing the majority of the grading, so it’s not my good side you’ll want to be on, it’s hers.” He grins. “Alright, you’re all dismissed, enjoy the nice weather.”

Everyone files out, and Y/N takes a deep breath. She walks with Harry down to his office and she plops down in her seat.

“Seems like it’ll be a good group.” He opens one of his drawers. “Here, forgot to give you a key. You can come here whenever you want, feel free to do your homework if there’s nothing to be graded.”

“Thanks.” She takes it from him and puts it on her key ring. “It’ll be nice to have a quiet space, actually. One of my roommates is getting her master’s in theater education, and my other roommate is getting her master’s in music education, so it gets kind loud from time to time.”

“Then definitely come here anytime you like.” He smiles and sits in his chair.

“When does your next class start?”

“I’ve got about an hour or so before I need to go back to the computer lab for my computing fundamentals class. I teach two sections of that back to back. Then that’s it for today.”

“Does it get annoying to teach the same class back to back?”

“Not really.” He shrugs. “I’m used to it by now anyways.”

“Dr. Styles?” A female student taps on the outside of the door. “How was your su…oh, you’re in here with someone.” She frowns.

“I sure am, Melanie.” Harry seems to look a little nervous. “I’ll be rather busy today, but we can catch up soon, alright?”

“Oh, okay.” She glares at Y/N before leaving. Harry sighs heavily once she’s gone.

“That’s one of my frequent flyers.” He rolls his eyes. “Her and a couple other girls try to come by and chat…” He runs a hand through his hair. “I’m actually kind of glad you’ll be around, I’ve seen her fly out of here so fast.”

“Does she…have a crush on you or something?”

“I’m afraid so.” Harry sighs. “It’s partly why I keep my door open when I meet with students. I used to keep it closed to have some privacy, cause sometimes there’s personal things students want to talk about, but she came in last year…I don’t know, I just keep my door open now.”

“That sucks.” She turns to her laptop to start getting some work done. “Such is the life of the hot, young professor, unfortunately.” Once again, Y/N said something without really thinking about it. She really needs to work on a filter. When she turns around to look at him to apologize, he was looking at her, face flushed. “I’m sorry, I just meant-“

“I have some emails to catch up on, so I’m gonna put by earbuds in and just focus on that.”

Y/N nods and turns back to her computer. She sighs heavily. The last thing she wanted to do was make the poor guy feel more tense than he already did. It must be painfully awkward to have students throwing themselves at you all the time, and what’s worse is that he feels so uncomfortable that he feels like he can’t even close his door. Y/N wanted to know what exactly Melanie did. It couldn’t have been so bad because she was still coming by to see him. Maybe Harry just picked up on a vibe, and got ahead of the problem before it got worse.

Forty or so minutes later, Harry tells Y/N he’s off to class, but she can feel free to stay if she wanted. She smiles and continues working on a paper she already had assigned for one of her courses. It was really nice to just have a space to work.

“Dr…oh…is this not Dr. Styles’ office anymore.” The girl standing in the doorway frowns.

“Oh! No, it is. He’s teaching right now. I’m his TA, Y/N, so we’re sharing. Can I help you with anything?”

“No, um, I was just coming to say hi, but I’ll catch him later.”

“What’s your name? I can tell him you stopped by, then he can email you or something.”

“It’s Bridget, and he doesn’t need to email me. I was just coming to say hi and chat about summer.” She sighs. “Sorry to bother you.”

Before Y/N can say it wasn’t a bother, the girl is gone. Harry really seemed to have a fan club so far. Y/N had professors she loved, but it was the first day of classes, she never went around trying to catch up with them. She decides to close the door a bit, maybe if people came by they would just assume he wasn’t there.

Y/N’s eyes start to feel droopy. It hits her that she’s been up since four this morning, having pulled an early shift at Bento’s. She decides to cross her arms on her desk, and rest her head on them. Her music was playing softly in the background, and her eyes eventually flutter closed.

Harry comes back from his second section of Computer Fundamentals and is confused when he sees his door only open a crack. He opens it the rest of the way and stops short when he sees Y/N resting peacefully. He wonders how long she’s been asleep for. He didn’t want her to be too groggy. He also knew some students from his previous classes may stop by for some clarification, so as he much he didn’t want to, he had to wake her up.

“Y/N?” He says softly, tapping her on the shoulder.

“Mm?” She grunts.

“Gotta wake up, love.”

Her eyes snap open. She sits up and watches him as he sits at his desk, pulling some papers out of his bag. She knew it was a pet name often used where he was from, but holy mother of God did it sound good hearing him call her that.

“Sorry, I…oh wow, I slept for way too long.”

“You didn’t seem so tired this morning, are you feeling alright?”

“Oh yeah, I’m fine. I worked an early shift at the bakery this morning, so it must just be catching up with me.” She stretches her arms out. “I think I’m gonna head out now. Oh, some student named Bridget came by earlier, but you were in class.”

“Alright.” He sighs. “Thanks, see you Wednesday.”

“See you Wednesday.” She smiles, gathers her things, and heads out.

//

At the end of the first week of classes, Harry was exhausted. It was always like this by the time that first Friday hit. The faculty meeting was the most draining part of it. He didn’t subject Y/N to it since she wasn’t helping with a major course. He had whined about it in front of her, though, so when he got back to his office he found a cupcake from Bento’s waiting for him.

It took a couple of weeks, but Y/N was able to relax around Harry. He noticed this right away. She was way less nervous, and he felt happy knowing he wasn’t making her feel intimidated. He was also happy for the help. She was able to field a lot of questions for the students, and her grading things was already saving him a ton of time.

The semester was off to a great start. Y/N would often bring Harry extra pastries from Bento’s, and he would praise her for how good they tasted.

“If those whole Instructional Design thing doesn’t work out, you should just open up your own bakery.” Is what he would often say after stuffing his face. It would make her giggle and blush. She enjoyed pleasing him.

They were having a peaceful Tuesday afternoon, holding office hours. Mostly working on their own, but occasionally chatting. Well, it was peaceful, until someone walked through the door.

“Harry.” An angry woman holding a small shih tzu and a large bag says. “I can’t take care of him Max anymore. I’m moving and my new place can’t have pets.”

“Kelly, let’s go out into the hall, yeah?”

She looks over at Y/N, who was stunned. Harry was standing up and walking around his desk to lead the woman out, but she won’t budge.

“Make whoever this is leave, you have an office for a reason.”

“I don’t have an office for personal matters, come on.” He takes the dog, Max, from her and cuddles him to his chest. Harry gets a lick to his chin. “Aw, you miss Daddy, Maxy?”

The woman rolls her eyes, and lets Harry lead her into the hallway. Y/N hears some muffled discussion, the woman raising her voice more than him.

“You could have looked for a place that allowed pets. This is so typical of you. You fought me on keeping him, and the second it got difficult you wanna just dump him with me.”

“I’m never home, Harry! It’s not fair to him.”

“And you think I’m home more?”

“More than me.” She scoffs. “You don’t have a choice, I leave at the end of the week.”

“You don’t even look like you’re going to miss him.”

“I thought I wanted him, but every time I looked at him I just thought of you, and now I can’t stand him. I’m moving to have a fresh start. Whatever happens to him is up to you now.” She drops the large bag full of Max’s things at his feet and walks away.

Harry sighs and kisses the top of Max’s head. He leans down to grab the bag and walks back into his office.

“I’m so sorry you had to see that.”

“It’s okay.” She extends her hands out. “Can I hold him? He’s so cute.” She pouts.

“Um, sure.” Harry hands Max over to Y/N.

“Oh my goodness.” She gets a lick on her cheek. “How old is he?”

“A little over a year.” Harry mumbles as he goes through the bag. “I have no idea how I’m going to make this work. I can’t bring him with me every day, it’s not allowed. Once in a while is fine, but it’s not like he’s a therapy dog.”

“I can help! My apartment is pet friendly for small dogs. I could just meet you here and you can drop him off to me.”

“I couldn’t ask you to do that. You have so much going on between this, your own school work, and Bento’s.”

“I really wouldn’t mind, I know you end up staying here late a lot of the time, I could take him for walks and stuff, tire him out so you can just have a snuggle with him when you get home.” She holds him up to her face. Lucky dog, she thinks to herself.

“You’re my TA, Y/N, not my dog sitter.” He sighs. “I’m sure I could find another student that needs some extra cash-“

“Wouldn’t need to pay me.” She smiles. “Please, he’s so cute, I really wanna help. It won’t stress me out, I promise.”

“We’ll see, it would only be on my busy days.” He takes Max back from her, and pulls his dog bed from the bag. “Go on, get comfy.” He sets him down and pats the top of his head. He takes out his water bowl and pours some into it for him.

“Feel free to not answer, but who was she?”

“My ex…” Harry sighs and runs a hand through his hair. He sits down and watches Max lap up at his water bowl. “She insisted on a small dog because they’re easier to take care of.” He rolls his eyes. “But I missed him a lot, so I’m not complaining. We were together a couple of years, lived together for a bit, thought it would be smart to get a dog like a lot of people do when they’re getting more serious. But we started fighting a lot, we both got busier, neither of us wanted to compromise, and so it goes. She took him with her. We both got new places and have barely spoken.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, we weren’t right for each other, and he sort of made us realize that.” Max yips at Harry. “That’s right, buddy.” Harry chuckles. “We called it quits roughly six months ago, it’s all good now. I thought I’d miss her, but I missed him more.”

“I get that, I dated this guy for a bit in undergrad, but I definitely didn’t see it lasting.” She rolls her eyes.

“Guys at that age are really immature, anyways. You’ve got plenty of time to meet someone.” He turns back to his computer and gets back into his emails. He looks over his calendar and groans. “Alright, I’ll definitely need your help with him.” He turns back to her. “I give a lecture on Thursday evenings, so no one would be home with him literally day.”

“No problem at all, I can bring him home with me and I can just drop him off to you.” She smiles. “My roommates love dogs too, they’ll be excited.”

“I’ll need your phone number, just to get updates and stuff, it’ll be easier than email.”

“Sure!” She hands him her phone immediately. “Feels silly to not have exchanged numbers sooner.”

“Was sort of trying to keep a level of professionalism between us, but I suppose you’re gonna be helping me with my pup you’ll be more than just a colleague.” He puts his number in and texts himself. “You’re sure this won’t be too much for you?”

“Not at all.”

“At least let me pay you.”

“No way.”

“Y/N.” He sighs. “I’m gonna pay you, just deal with it, alright?” There was that intimidating side of him again. Y/N just swallows and nods. “Good.”

//

Nessa and Charlotte loved when Y/N would bring Max home with her. They teased her a bit at first because it was like her and Harry now owned this dog together, but she explained she was just helping him out.

“At least now you know for sure he’s single, and that he’s not afraid of commitment.” Nessa winks.

“Oh stop.” Y/N nudges her.

“He has your number now, does he ever text you about anything other than Max?”

“Not really, although he’ll send a funny gif as a response sometimes. He’s got a good sense of humor. You should see him in class.” Y/N’s phone buzzes and sees a text from Harry. “Speak of the Devil.”

Harry: I’m running late tonight, I’m so sorry. Would it be too much to ask to have you just get him settled at my place? There’s a spare key in the plant by the door.

Y/N’s eyes grow wide.

“Oh my god, he wants me to bring Max to his house tonight.”

“It’s happening!” Charlotte squeals. “Have you eaten much pineapple lately?”

“Would you shut up?! He doesn’t want to fuck me. He’s way too professional.”

Y/N: of course!

Harry: you’re a lifesaver. I’ve got some frozen pizza, feel free to make yourself at home until I get in. I won’t have you waiting too long.

“Oh wow, I’m gonna be there until he gets in…” She looks at her friends. “Maybe I’ll go shave my legs, you know, just in case.”

//

Y/N finds the key quickly, and walks into Harry’s home. He didn’t live too far from campus. He had a nice town home. Max scamps inside and immediately goes over to his toys in the living room. Y/N takes her shoes off and leaves them in the mudroom. Harry kept his home clean, and it made Y/N smile. There were some papers on his kitchen table that had grade marks on them. She wondered if he had a home office or not.

She goes into his freezer to find the pizza, and preheats the over. Once the pizza is baking, she plops onto the couch, pulling Max into her lap and turning the TV on. He has Netflix, so she click into that. She pouts when she sees he watches a lot of Rom Coms, it was too cute. She puts on The Office and has a slice of pizza. She didn’t need to work until tomorrow afternoon, so she didn’t mind that it was getting to be a little later on a Thursday, and it wasn’t like she went to raging parties anymore either.

Eventually, she dozed off. She couldn’t help it. Harry had a really comfortable couch, and plush blanket to curl up in, and Max was just as cozy to sleep with. Harry had texted Y/N, but she didn’t answer because she was asleep. The lecture he had ran late, and then he had to meet with some students to help them. Not to mention it was raining heavily, and he needed to drive a little slower than usual. So he didn’t pull into his driveway until 10PM. He sighs, feeling terrible that Y/N was still there.

He quietly enters his home, but it didn’t matter because Max hears him, wakes up, and starts barking. This startles Y/N awake.

“Shh, Max, it’s just Daddy.” He scoops him up and walks into the living room. Y/N was rubbing her eyes, trying to wake up. “I’m so sorry, I-“

“It’s okay.” She yawns. “I wrapped up the pizza and put it in the fridge for you.”

“Oh, um, thank you. Think I’m about to pass out though.”

“Don’t be silly.” She gets up and stretches. “You need to eat something.”

She brushes by him to go into his kitchen and take the pizza out. She puts a paper-towel over it and pops it in the microwave.

“I really am sorry you’re here so late.”

“It’s okay.” She leans against the counter. “What’s the lecture for, anyways?”

“It’s actually a graduate level CS systems course. I couldn’t turn the money down when they offered it to me. I figured since it’s only once a week it would be terrible, and it’s not, it’s just exhausting.”

The microwave beeps, and Y/N take the plate out for him, removing the paper towel.

“See, now it’s not all dried out.” She smiles.

“Neat trick, I’ll have to remember that.” The rain taps violently on the window in the kitchen.

“Yikes, I didn’t even know it was supposed to rain tonight. It wasn’t like this when I drove over.” She bites her bottom lip and looks outside.

Harry finishes his pizza and puts the plate in the sink. He sets Max down and he runs upstairs to his dog bed in Harry’s room.

“Listen, uh, if you want I can set up the pull out for you. Or I could sleep on it and you could take my bed…if you don’t feel safe driving home.”

“Oh, I couldn’t take your bed.” She turns to him. “But I may take your couch. I was sleeping on it fine as is, no need to set it up.”

“Well, let me at least get you a proper pillow and something to change into, yeah?”

“Okay.”

“Right, um, well you know where the bathroom down here is, feel free to use whatever to wash up. I’ll run up to grab what you need, be down in a sec.”

Harry changes into his own pj’s, and finds some spare pants and a t-shirt for Y/N. He’s even able to find a spare toothbrush. He hustles back down and see’s Y/N bending over to charge her phone using the plug behind the tide table next to the couch. Harry clears his throat to get her attention.

“Here, you can wear this, and he’s a toothbrush.”

“Thanks for letting crash here, I get nervous driving at night when it’s like that outside.”

“It’s the least I could do, you gave up your Thursday night to…” He looks at the TV screen and his cheeks grow hot. Y/N looks over at the TV as well and wonders why The Office might embarrass him.

“Is it okay that I used your Netflix?”

“Yeah, I…god, it’s just, you’ve seen what I watch.” He rubs the back of his neck.

“I didn’t snoop or anything, promise.” She smiles and takes the clothes and toothbrush from him.

He opens up the coffee table to take out a pillow and another blanket.

“Well, I’ll be right upstairs if you need anything…um, goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Harry.”

She wanted to ask if he wanted to watch a little TV with her, but he looked so tired. She lays on the couch after getting changed. His bed clothes swam on her, and she loved it. They smelled just like him and it made her smile. She texts in the group chat so the girls know what’s up. They tell her just to go crawl into his bed, and she rolls her eyes. She falls back asleep after another couple of episodes of The Office.

The next morning, her eyes flutter open when the light from the sliding door in the living room hit her. She hears Harry shuffling around upstairs.

“Gotta be quiet, Max. Y/N is sleeping.” She hears him whisper and it makes her smile. She decides to pretend to be asleep as to not rile the dog up.

She hears the door open and close, and that’s when she knows Harry’s gone to take Max for a walk. She gets up and folds the blankets, and puts the pillow on top. She figures he’ll want to wash it. She goes into the bathroom to do her business, but doesn’t change just yet, she didn’t want to leave the comfort of his clothes. She does, however, put her bra on. She didn’t want to bounce around and make him uncomfortable.

Harry comes back in with a beanie on, cover the beautiful curls Y/N adored so much. He was wearing grey joggers, and a black t-shirt. Max runs right over to Y/N.

“Morning.” Harry says.

“Morning.” She pats Max’s head.

“Sleep alright?”

“Mhm, thank you.”

“I’m gonna make some breakfast, you hungry?”

“Sure, I could eat.” She smiles.

He smiles back and opens up the fridge. Y/N grabs the dog food and gets Max’s bowl filled. She sees Harry starting up the coffee pot, and then going back to the fridge for eggs.

“Eggs and toast alright?”

“Sounds great.”

Harry gets a pan heated up and cracks four eggs into it.

“You working at Bento’s today?”

“Yeah, not until this afternoon though, no worries.”

“Oh good, I would have felt bad if I was keeping you.”

“You’re not.” She sits up on the counter and watches him cook the eggs. He moves to the toaster and puts for pieces of bread in. “This is a nice place.”

“Thanks, sort of found it in a scramble, but it gets the job done. Would have liked more than one bedroom, but oh well.” Harry flips all of the eggs over so they’ll be sunny side down. “Want cheese?”

“Yes, please.” She hops off the counter to grab a couple of mugs for the coffee.

“I have to apologize, I don’t have any cream for that.”

“Sugar?”

He slides the sugar bowl down to her and she smiles. Once everything is done they sit down at the kitchen table.

“Mm, this is delicious, thank you.”

“S’just a fried egg.” He chuckles. “But I’m glad you like it.”

“Do you have to go to campus today?”

“Not technically, but I will just to get some work done. I’ll bring Max with me. He likes the little dog bed I’ve put under my desk.”

“He’s really such a love bug. Snuggled with me last night and everything. My roommates love him too.”

“You’ve been such a big help in so many ways. Don’t know what I’ll do without you next semester.”

“I’m applying for more TA positions, maybe they’ll stick me with you again.”

“Wouldn’t you want more experience with a different class?”

“It doesn’t really matter.” She shrugs. “It would be cool to work with you over winter break to redesign your other courses.”

“Man, if I didn’t have to do that myself…hm, maybe I could put a good word in. That is, if you don’t mind being stuck with me again.”

“Stuck with you? Hello, this is going way better than I thought. I was sort of nervous to be your TA at first.”

“You were?” He frowns.

“You’re a little intimidating.”

“I don’t mean to be.”

“I know, it’s just the way you come off sometimes. You’re hilarious when you want to be.”

“Thanks.” He smirks and continues to eat. He looks at her and furrows his brows. “Feel free to keep those.”

“What?”

“The clothes I let you borrow, feel free to just keep ‘em if you want. I don’t much wear those pants anymore, and I have a dozen t-shirts.”

“Oh, um, thank you. Might take you up on that, I’m pretty cozy.”

She helps clean up the dishes and then gathers her things. He walks her out to her car.

“Thanks again for watching him.”

“Of course, I’ll see you Monday morning.”

“See you, have a good weekend, love.”

Her heart skips a beat as he turns and walks back inside. She takes a deep breath as she gets into her car. It was cloudy on the drive home, but at least it wasn’t raining. The second she gets through the door Nessa and Charlotte grill her for details, and they were highly disappointed that the only thing they shared was breakfast.

“It was really domestic, though, it was nice.” Y/N explains. “He was so cute while he made me breakfast. He’s so kind. He even let me keep his clothes, and he wants me to be his TA again next semester. He literally said he wouldn’t know what to do without me.”

“Yeah, because you’ve volunteered to do everything for him except suck his dick.” Charlotte scoffs. “You said he’s been broken up for a little over six months right? Do you think he’s gotten his dick wet since then?”

“Charlotte!” Y/N giggles. “He’s a grown man, he can do what he wants. I bet he has, he easily could have had a rebound, although, he seems really respectful, so who knows if he’s even into hooking up.”

“Right, like when you told us he always keeps his office door open.”

“I feel bad, I’m there when some of those girls come to chat with him, and you can tell they just make him uncomfortable.” She shakes her head. “I think he and I are, like, friends now. I like what we have going, I’m not going to rock the boat. It could really complicate things.”

“So, would you say now that you’ve gotten to know him better your crush is less…apparent?” Nessa asks.

“God no! We mesh really well, we think a lot of the same things are funny…” She wines slightly. “It’s truly unfair.” She sighs. “Right person, wrong time.”

//

It was hard to stay awake during your shift at the bakery, but you made it through. You were thankful you only needed to be there until about dinner time. You had to be back in Saturday morning for open, but that didn’t stop you and your friends from going out to the bar for a couple of drinks.

It gave the three of you time to catch up and complain about coursework. Nessa was directing a production at the university, and she still had students who weren’t off-book, and Charlotte had to deal with pretentious music bros who really liked to man-splain the music industry to her. Y/N felt lucky that the majority of her classes were online.

“Okay, I have to ask, are there any students in class you think have crushes on each other?” Nessa asks her, sipping from her straw.

“Oh, for sure. There are these two boys, they don’t sit next to each other, but you can tell they’re friends. One of them always looks behind to the other so they can make a face. It’s too cute.”

They were at a more adult bar tonight. It’s not that they didn’t like the college bars they were so used to going to, but if they went there then that meant getting shitfaced and staying on the dancefloor until close. It also made things awkward when running into students. So the three of them felt safe here, they could really relax.

“Oh my fucking god.” Charlotte says. “Dr. Styles just walked in, and fuck, he’s here with a couple of really hot guys.”

“What?!” Y/N was buzzed, and she didn’t want Harry to see her like this. She wanted his image of her to remain sweet and professional. She peers over her shoulder to look at him, and her eyes widen.

He wasn’t wearing his glasses, he had a floral patterned shirt on that had the first few buttons undone, and a pair of black jeans to match. They weren’t skinny jeans or anything, but they sure as fuck were working for him. Both of his friends were a little shorter, but both equally as handsome. The three walk right by the bar and grab a booth.

“This is bad.” Y/N groans. “He looks so fucking good.”

“Who knew he was so tatted up?!” Nessa says. “I thought it was just his arms, but did you see his collar bones? We love a man who has going attire.”

The bar was starting to get more crowded, and louder as it got later. Music was blaring from the speakers, but all Y/N could think about was Harry. She wondered if he would venture to her area of the bar to order his drinks. One of his friends went up first, on Nessa’s left.

“Hey, Niall, what can I get for you?” The bartender asks him.

“Bradly, so good to see yeh, I’ll take a pint of Guinness, Lou’s gonna have a pale ale, and Harry’ll have a Corona with lime.”

“You got it.”

Niall drums his fingers on the bar. Nessa was sweating. She had a boyfriend, so she would never do anything, but fuck, that Irish accent tore right through her. Niall looks over at the three girls who had all fallen silent after he approached. He makes eye contact with Y/N, and they share a smile.

“Opening a tab tonight?”

“Yeah, one of those nights for sure. Poor Harry’s had a run in with his ex, basically dropped their dog in his lap and left. It’s been a couple of weeks since it happened, but it’s been eatin’ the lad up.”

Bradly nods and takes Niall’s credit card to keep on the back of the bar. He hands him the three beers, and Niall thanks him. The girls try not to watch as he sits down.

“Holy shit, I thought I was going to crap my pants.” Nessa breathes. “I love Andy, don’t get me wrong, but holy fuck.” She shakes her head. “I may need to have him pick me up from here tonight.” She giggles.

“Now I almost wish there was dancing here. Wouldn’t mind showing that guy how well I can pop my ass.” Charlotte laughs.

“He smiled at me, did you see it? Of course Harry surrounds himself with other beautiful people.” She pouts.

Niall slides Harry and Louis their beers and they all clink their glasses.

“I’m so glad we could all get out to do this. Sorry we didn’t rescue you the second Kelly showed up.” Louis says.

“It’s alright, I appreciate you guys coming tonight.”

“Is Max okay for a bit on his own?” Niall asks.

“Yeah, I put the gates up for him so he can’t mess much up. I wouldn’t have texted my TA to see if she could watch him again, but…”

“But you’ll most likely be fucking someone tonight.” Niall grins. “Surprised you didn’t just fuck her, she stayed at your place and everything.”

“Actually, you asshole,” Harry chuckles and takes a swig of his beer. “I was going to say that I would have felt bad taking up another one of her evenings. I don’t know if I’m in the mood to take anyone home tonight.”

“Too bad, girls love little dogs like Max.” Louis shrugs.

“There’s three really hot girls sitting by the bar.” Niall loves over at the three girls. “One for each of us if we play our cards right.”

Harry’s back was turned away from the bar, so he couldn’t see who Niall was talking about.

“They could be college students.” Louis says.

“Not at this place. The undergrads don’t come here.” Harry says. “Mostly grad students or other faculty that live close by, locals too.”

“We could order their next round of drinks, and then invite them to come sit with us. Booth has plenty of room.” Niall suggest.

Harry and Louis turn around slightly to get a look at the girls Niall was talking about. Harry nearly chokes on his Corona, and turns back around.

“Jesus, are you alright?” Louis asks, patting his back.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. We can’t get those girls drinks.”

“Why not?”

“The one on the right is my TA, Y/N, and her two roommates. I know one of them has a boyfriend…uh…the one on the very left. The middle one is single, but even still, I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

“Mate, you’re TA is that good looking, and you didn’t even try to fuck her when she stayed at your place?” Niall asks.

“No, I didn’t try to fuck her. I’m doing this thing where I don’t fuck people I have a position of power over.” He rolls his eyes. “That’s a no go.”

“But if she wasn’t your TA, and just a regular grad student…?” Louis raises an eyebrow at Harry. He runs a hand through his hair as thinks it over.

“I don’t know, I haven’t really thought about it. I mean, she’s obviously cute, but…I could never do something like that.”

“It’s not like she’s going to be your TA next semester, you could-“ Harry cuts Niall off.

“Actually, she might be. I have a meeting with the curriculum committee to discuss what I’ll need help with for next semester, and we both want to work with each other again. Crossing that line would complicate things, not to mention it’s highly unprofessional.”

“It’s not like she’s a student sitting in one of your classes, then I’d agree with you. You’re colleagues, technically. Nothing in the rule book saying you can’t fuck a colleague.” Niall says.

“He’s got a point, Har.” Louis says.

“Even if I agreed with the both of you, I’d still be taking advantage. I think she has a little crush on me, she’s made a couple flirty comments here and there…”

“Not to mention she jumped at the chance to help watch your dog.” Louis says.

“It’s not happening.”

“Well, you may not want to fuck a pretty girl tonight, but I do, and if the middle one is single, perhaps I’ll still order them all drinks, and just talk with her. Or, if you’re saying Y/N’s a no go for you, maybe I’ll chat her up. We smiled at each other, maybe she thinks I’m cute.” Niall grins.

“Don’t you dare.” He glares at him, finishing his beer. “I don’t care if you talk to, fuck what’s her name…Charlotte! I don’t care if you talk to Charlotte, but don’t try anything with Y/N.” He looks at Louis. “You either.”

“Not that I would, but basically you’re saying if you can’t fuck her no one else can?” Louis asks.

“I just wouldn’t feel comfortable with it.”

“Alright.” Niall shrugs. “We ready for the next round, then?” They both nod at him, and Niall brings the empties up to the bar. The girls fall silent when he approaches again. “Hi there, is there a reason you all keep doing that?”

The girls all turn to look at him. They were sweating.

“Doing what?” Charlotte asks nervously.

“Well, and maybe it’s just a coincidence, but you keep getting quiet when I come over.”

“It’s just…um…” Nessa starts. “You’re here with someone our friend knows.” She points to Y/N. “In a professional setting, and we’re just surprised to see him out, that’s all.”

“Oh, am I? Who is it?”

“Dr. Styles.” Y/N speaks up. Niall smiles as his eyes raise.

“Dr. Styles, how formal.” He looks over at Bradly who gives him the new drinks. “Bradly, do me a favor, put these ladies’ next round on my tab, will you?”

“You don’t have to do that.” Y/N says.

“Whether you know my friend or not, I’d be a real jerk to not buy three beautiful girls a drink, wouldn’t I?” He winks at Charlotte as he walks away with his new drinks.

“He winked at me, oh my god.” She squeals. “Y/N, you wouldn’t care if I tried to fuck one of Harry’s friends, right? It’s been a minute for me.” She pouts.

“No, why would I care?” She laughs. Bradly gives the girls their new drinks. “That was really nice of him.” She twists her straw and looks over at the booth. She can see Niall and the other guy laughing, while Harry just shakes his head.

“What the fuck did you say to them?” Harry asks as he takes a sip of beer.

“Would you relax? They simply mentioned that they knew you, and I bought their next round, that was it.”

“Great, so she knows I’m here.” He groans. “Move.” He says to Louis.

“Why?”

“Because now I have to go talk to her.”

“Oh, you do?” Louis smirks.

“Yes, do you know how fucking rude it would be not even say hello?”

“I don’t see her coming over here.” Niall says.

“She’s obviously nervous!” Harry takes a large gulp of his drink. “Move, Lou.”

Louis gets up so Harry can get out of the booth.

“Oh my god, Y/N, Harry’s coming over here.” Nessa says.

“Shut up,  no he’s not, oh my god, he is, holy shit. I’m…inebriated.”

The girls laugh at her as Harry comes to sit on the open stool next to Y/N. He gets comfortable before he looks at her and smiles. She slowly turns herself to look at him.

“Hi.” He says.

“Hi.”

“Did my friend bother you?”

“Not at all…he was very nice.”

Harry nods and sips from his drink.

“I didn’t know you came here…” He says.

“Could say the same to you.” She looks him up and down. “Barely recognized you when you walked in. That’s a nice shirt.”

“Thanks.” He blushes and wants to kick himself for being so exposed to her.

“You haven’t met my friends yet. Charlotte, Nessa, this is Dr…uh, this is Harry.” The girls both say hello.

“Hi, I’ve heard a lot about you both. You’re Charlotte right?”

“Yeah.”

“My friend thinks you’re cute.” He nods over to Niall. Maybe Harry wouldn’t have been so bold, but he knew they were only a few years apart in age, so it wasn’t totally weird, and he had a couple drinks in him, so there’s that.

“Really?!”

“Mhm.”

“Should I go talk to him?”

“Definitely, I think he’d really like that.”

“Good enough for me.” She hops off the stool. “Ness, come talk to his other friend with me it’s not awkward.”

“Wing-man to the rescue, I’m on it.”

“You guys!” Y/N calls after them, but they’re already sitting down. She looks back at Harry and squints at him.

“What?”

“Did you do that on purpose?”

“Do what?”

“Get them to leave so we could be alone…”

“What?! No!” Harry finishes his drink, and Bradly gets him a new one right away. “Why would I want to be alone with you?” He sees the obvious offense on her face, and shakes his head. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it that way. We’re alone together all the time, aren’t we? I just meant, in this setting.” He gestures to the bar around him. “I’ve been a bit mopey since Kelly showed up, so my friends just wanted to take me out and show me a good time.” He looks over at Niall who already has his arm around Charlotte. “Although, I think they’re bound to have a better night than me.” He sighs.

“You haven’t let on a mopey exterior, you could have told me.”

“It’s really none of your business how I’m feeling, Y/N.”

“You’re being awfully cold to someone who spent the night at your house just watch your dog.”

“You spent the night because it was raining too heavily.”

“And then you made me breakfast.”

“As an extra thank you.”

“You’re annoying.” She takes a sip of her drink and faces forward. “Now I don’t even have my friends to complain about you because you’ve sent them off to your friends.” She rolls her eyes.

“M’not annoying. I’m a fucking delight, just ask Max.”

“Where is he anyways?”

“Home.” Harry shrugs. “He can last a few hours without me. I almost texted you, but I would have felt bad asking again. I know you worked today, I honestly didn’t expect to see you out.”

“It was a long week for everyone. I’m not staying much longer, I have to be at Bento’s at four in the morning.”

“It’s…” Harry looks down at his watch. “Almost midnight, Cinderella.” He smirks at her and she can’t help but laugh. It was a stupid and cheesy joke, but she liked it. “I didn’t mean to be cold…I just didn’t want you to think I was coming over here to pull a move or something.”

“I’m going to remind you again, you sent my friends away.” She smiles and takes a sip of her drink.

“I did.” He nods. “But I’ll remind you, my friend Niall thinks Charlotte is cute. He thought you were cute too, by the way.”

“He did?!” She looks over at them and then back to Harry. “But you sent her off with him?”

“Yup.” He takes a swig of his beer.

“Why?!”

“Could be a little awkward to have my best friend canoodle with my TA.”

“Right, because it would be so easy to get into my bed.” She scoffs.

“I didn’t say that.”

“You implied it. And I’m not one to kiss and tell, so unless he wanted to dish, you wouldn’t have even heard anything from me about it.”

“Doesn’t matter, I wouldn’t have liked it. I don’t know Charlotte so I don’t really care what they do.”

“You don’t get to decide who I can and can’t sleep with just because you’re too chicken to make a move.” Before he can say anything she’s hopping off her stool and heading out of the bar.

She’s just about to order an uber when he grabs her wrist. It was chilly outside, and she could clearly see both of their breaths.

“What did you just say to me?”

“You heard me.” She yanks her wrist free. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going home to sleep for three hours so I can get up to bake some fucking bread.” She orders her uber, and Nessa comes rushing out.

“Char’s staying inside with, um, Niall? I saw you leave so I thought I’d come…with…you…” She sees Harry who was practically fuming. “Um, I can wait inside, or-“

“It’s fine, the uber will be here in a minute.” She smiles at her friend and then glares at Harry. “At least one of us is going to have a good time tonight.” She seethes.

“I had fun.” Nessa says, and then realizes what Y/N meant. “Oh.”

“Why are you still here? Go inside and find some random to fuck.”

“Don’t talk to me like that, Y/N.”

“Sorry, I’m off the clock. I can speak to you however the fuck I want.” She steps closer to him. “I don’t know where you get off being so sweet and kind one moment, and then turning into a major prick the second you feel threatened, but I don’t need this.”

The uber pulls up, and without another word Y/N and Nessa get inside, leaving Harry outside in the cold.

//

Y/N woke up at 3:30AM and groaned, cursing at herself for going out. She only had to work until 9AM and then should could sleep the day away if she wanted. She was still so mad at Harry she could scream. He hadn’t even tried to text her to apologize.

She sighs and makes her way to the kitchen once she’s dressed. She stops short when she sees a half-naked Niall standing in her kitchen, filling two glasses of water.

“Um…hi.” She says to him as she grabs her daily vitamins out of the cabinet.

“Hey.” He smiles. He looks her up and down. “Are you going to work?”

“I am.” She pops the gummy vitamins into her mouth.

“Could you do me a favor?” He steps a little closer to her. “Take it easy on Harry, alright?” Y/N scoffs at him. “I know, he was an asshole last night, but he just want to do anything that could put his job in danger, that’s all.”

“How would I do that? I’m not his student, I’m his colleague.”

“He just feels weird about it, and he’s still figuring out his feelings. I think he likes you, to be quite honest. You’ve…perked him up, well not tonight, but anytime he mentions you he smiles.”

“He…talks about me?”

“Oh sure, all the time actually.” He takes a sip of water. “I better go bring this to her. Just…consider taking it easy on him, he knows he fucked up.”

Y/N nods as Niall makes his way back to Charlotte’s room. She drags herself out to her car and heads to Bento’s. Once she’s inside, she puts some music on and fires up the ovens. She loved baking, it helped clear her head for a little while. She would prep the bacon, get fresh muffins and cookies going, and she would even make croissants. By the time the rest of the morning crew shows up, she’s just about halfway done with everything. She trays up everything to be rolled out for the people working out front. By the time 9AM rolled around she was exhausted, but had mostly forgotten how aggravated she was. She snags a coffee and a muffin on her way out, and stops short when she sees Harry sitting outside with Max.

“Oh, thank god.” He says, standing up. Max sniffs at her feet and she bends down to pet the top of his head. “They said you got off at nine, I hope it’s not weird that I’m here.”

“How long have you been waiting out here?”

“Well, I came by at 6:30 when they opened, but you were really busy, so I just came back twenty minutes ago. Can we talk?”

“Not right now. I’m covered in flour and sweat, and I’d like to take a shower and then take a nap. I got two hours of sleep last night. It was my own doing, but still.”

“When then?”

“I’ll text you.” She shrugs. “Niall spent the night, I bumped into him this morning. He said you fucked up?”

“I did.” He rubs the back of his neck. “Do what you need to do, and then, uh, come bay later, yeah? We can have a late lunch or something, and I can explain myself. Would you like that?”

“Depends, what’s on the menu?”

“S’cold out, do you like grilled cheese and tomato soup?”

“Love it.” She smiles. “I’ll let you know when I wake up.”

“Alright, thanks.”

Y/N takes a nice long shower when she gets home, her roommates still peacefully sleeping. She wondered if Niall was still there or if he slipped out a couple hours after her. She didn’t care that much, she was too tired to care. Once her hair is dry, she slips a t-shirt on and crawls into bed.

“Y/N! I’ve let you sleep long enough, please wake up!” Charlotte was absolutely giddy, and dying to fill Y/N in. It was around 2PM, she definitely caught up on sleep.

“Gimme five minutes!” Y/N yells back. She was groggy and didn’t want to be cranky.

Y/N comes out to the couch and lays down. Nessa was out with Andy, but she had heard about everything earlier. Charlotte brings Y/N a cup of tea and smiles at her.

“Thank you.” She takes a careful sip. “Alright, go ahead.”

“Best sex I’ve ever fucking had!” She squeals. “He had me all over the bed, it was wild. I’m surprised we didn’t wake you.”

“I passed out the second I got home.” She chuckles. “Best you ever had, huh? What exactly did he do?”

“What didn’t he do?! Fingers, tongue, and dick, it was incredible. I rode him, then he got on top, and then he did me from behind, bent me over the bed, I got on top again. His stamina was incredible. I made him some breakfast this morning and then he left.”

“Did he give you his number?”

“He did.” She beams. “He said he wasn’t looking for anything serious at the moment, but I was free to text him anytime I wanted him like that again.” She bites her bottom lip and sinks further into the couch. “I totally don’t mind at all. It would be nice to start up a new little fling. It won’t be weird for you, will it?”

“Not at all, it’s not like you’re…oh my god.” She pinches the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger.

“What?”

“I totally get where he was coming from now.” She groans.

“What do you mean?”

“He said he told me that, uh, his other friend thought I was cute, and I told him I was mad because he sent the two of you away, and that he couldn’t tell me who I could and couldn’t fuck, but I would have been so mad if you slept with Harry.”

“I wouldn’t have, though. I know how much you like…” She gasps. “Do you think he likes you too?!”

“I don’t know, maybe!” Y/N takes her phone out to text Harry that she’s up and that she’ll be over within the hour. “I’m going to his place for a late lunch, he wants to apologize, but I owe him one just the same. I flipped out for no reason.”

“Well, at least you’re realizing it. Very adult of you.”

“Oh, shut up.” She nudges her and gets up to change.

//

Y/N gets to Harry’s around 3PM. She paired a green cardigan and a black tank top with a pair of jeans. She gets out of the car and rings his bell. She giggles when she hears Max barking from behind the door.

“Shh, it’s just Y/N.” Harry coos to Max as he opens his door. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

“Um, come in.” He moves aside and lets her in. “Here, think he misses you.” Y/N takes Max from Harry and snuggles him close.

“It’s only been a couple days.” She pouts at the dog.

“Come, sit, the food’s ready.”

Y/N sets Max down and sits down at the table. Harry already had the grilled cheese and soup out on the table.

“This looks good, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Harry…I know you wanted to apologize, but I realized today that you weren’t totally in the wrong.”

“Yes I was.” He sighs and blows on his soup before slurping some from his spoon. “Maybe it wasn’t what I said, but it was how I said it. I overstepped. You’re a grown woman, I had no right to tell my friend he couldn’t hit it on you.”

“Well, it all worked out because Charlotte seems to have a new fuck buddy on her hands.” She chuckles and takes a bite of her sandwich. “Look, I appreciate you saying all that, but when I was talking to her earlier, I realized I would have done the same thing. I would have told my friends not to flirt with you or try to pick you up, and I would have been pissed if one of them slept with you.”

“You would have?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“You know why.” She grumbles. “I…I mean…”

“We’re stuck between a rock and a hard place here, Y/N.” He sighs and sits back in his chair.

“We are?”

“Yes. I did a lot of thinking last night, did some talking with my friends. I had to really think about why I got so upset. The thing is, you’re my TA, and you’re going to be my TA next semester as well, most likely. I have a meeting about it Monday. Selfishly, I don’t want anyone else to have you.”

“In more ways than one, obviously.” She smirks.

“Don’t be cute.” He gives her a playful smile. “I think I’d miss you too much, to be honest. I like sharing my office with you. Your help with Max has been great, you’re, like, part of my life now.”

“Is there some rule that says that we can’t…like…go out?”

“I don’t know…I think it would look unprofessional on my part. I know you’re not one of my students, so it’s not as bad as that, but I still have a position of power over you, and if someone found out something was going, it could look really bad. I wouldn’t want something to taint your reputation either.”

“Well, I’ve been over here twice now, and no one’s said a thing.”

“You haven’t been on campus since Thursday. Someone could easily say something to us Monday.”

“A lot of people know I help with Max.”

“Some people may know you used to be a student of mine as well. They could assume something’s been going on for years.”

“Not true, wouldn’t people know about Kelly?” Harry grimaces at the name. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright.”

“So…I feel like we’re just going around in circles here, Harry. Like, what are we doing?”

“Well, if I vouch for you to be my TA again next semester, would you? The course would be for Creativity and the Visual World, and I think you could really shine there, talk about IDS. Also, I don’t know what your plans are after you graduate, or where you’ll want to go, but I’ve caught wind that one of the instructional designers on campus is going to retire at the end of the school year.”

“Wow, so you’re like really trying to keep me around.” She smirks.

“It’s not like that.” He chuckles. “I just mean, it could be a good first gig for you. You’re very good at all that, thought you might be interested to know there’s going to be an opening. You know the campus well, it would be a smooth transition for you.”

“That would be ideal, I do want to work in higher ed when I’m done.”

“I could help you with your cover letter, I’m really good at writing those. I’ve helped plenty of students.”

“I’ll definitely look into it.” She finishes what she can of the food, and sits back as well.

“I really am sorry about last night, I felt awful.”

“It’s okay, I really get it.” She sighs. “So…I still don’t know what we’re doing. Are we just choosing not to date anyone else and also not each other? Why should I wait until I graduate to be with someone?”

“M’not asking you to do that. I don’t really know what I’m asking you to do. I just don’t want to be a cliché. The young professor getting with someone that works for him. I’m attracted to you, I can admit that, but I don’t want to get fired, nor do I want your name getting dragged through the mud.”

“So, essentially, while I’m your TA we can’t do anything.”

“Correct.”

“And you’d rather suffer and have me be your TA again next semester just to have me around you, even though it would mean we still couldn’t do anything.”

“Yes.”

“Alright, after the holidays I’ll be staying at my apartment for winter break. We pay for a full year, and I like having the time alone. I also still work at Bento’s.” She stands up and puts her things in the sink.

“What are you saying exactly?”

“I’m saying, over winter break we’re in limbo. I won’t be your TA, and I’ll be all alone in my three bedroom apartment. Perhaps there’ll be a night I’m feeling especially lonely and you’ll have the marvelous idea of visiting me with Max, and whatever happens will happen.”

“And then what? Act like it didn’t when the spring semester starts?”

“I guess we’d cross that bridge when we come to it. All I know is that for six weeks, you will in no way have a position of power over me. By the way, I’m twenty-three years old, it’s like you said, I’m a grown woman. You’re not taking advantage of me. I know how it would look to others, so I can respect where you’re coming from. However, I’d like to try things out before I tell someone I’m going to wait for them.”

With that, Y/N gives Max one last squeeze, and out the door she goes. She was proud of herself. Harry liked her, and he wanted to be with her. It was a dream come true. She also didn’t mind sort of waiting for him, it would just make things all the more hot when they’d finally be able to come together.

//

The rest of the semester went by…okay. There was a lot of tension, a lot of it. Harry was just thankful it was getting colder which meant that Y/N was bundling up more. She did, however, look insanely cute in her many layers and scarves. They were busy grading, not having much time for chat chit. She started going over his place more, though. They would have little grading parties where they could just spread out and get things done. His place was also another quiet haven for her to escape to.

Charlotte hooked with Niall almost every weekend, it was pretty cute. They were having fun, and Y/N was happy for her friend. Even though sometimes Y/N wished Harry would just fuck her on his kitchen table on top of all the graded papers and tests, and maybe sometimes he fantasized about the same thing, but it had to stay professional. She didn’t want him regretting anything. Sometimes he would come into Bento’s when she was working, she even snuck him in early one morning to show him how she made the croissants he liked so much. They were essentially dating, but without all the physical stuff.

At least Y/N could catch some relief later at night in her bed. She didn’t think of Harry at first. Her routine mostly consisted of headphones, pornhub, and a few orgasms. But there was one particular night her and Harry were sitting in front of his fireplace, and he just looked so sexy, and she wanted him to take her on his living room floor, she didn’t even care if her tailbone would be bruised the next day. She still hadn’t even seen his fucking bedroom, it was the one part of the house she wasn’t allowed in. So she start fantasizing about his bed, and then one thing led to another and she ended up moaning out his name in a shallow breath. It had caught her by surprise, and she was almost embarrassed about it.

Harry would have been lying if he said he wasn’t doing the same thing. It mostly happened early in the morning when he’d take his shower. It just sort of happened. He woke up one morning, rolled over and wished she was there next to him. He had seen her fall asleep so many times, and he thought she was incredibly cute. He liked having Max in the bed, but he wanted Y/N. So when he got into the shower he just couldn’t stop thinking about her. He didn’t feel embarrassed, he didn’t feel guilty, he mostly felt annoyed because he just wanted the real thing.

It was confirmed that Y/N would be his TA again in the spring, and they were both exited. He liked having her in his office, and he thought they worked together really well. It was worth it, it was all going to be worth it.

Harry went home to London for the holidays, and Y/N went home to her parents’ house. It was a tough goodbye. They hugged, and maybe they kissed each other on the cheek, but neither wanted to let go. Y/N loved seeing her family, but ten days was plenty. She liked having her apartment to herself. Nessa and Charlotte wouldn’t be back for a few weeks. That meant Y/N could watch whatever she wanted on TV, she didn’t have to worry about being quiet on the early mornings she had to work, and she could take a long shower.

A big snow storm was coming, which was starting to make Y/N nervous. Stores were closing in preparation, and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to weather it alone.

Y/N: are you back from London? Can’t remember when you said you’d be home…

Harry: hey! I was just going to message you, I got back yesterday, was just sleeping off the jetlag. What’s up?

Y/N: this impending storm is freaking me out…

Harry: do you wanna get snowed in at my place? Just stalked up at the grocery store…

Y/N: are you sure? I don’t wanna be a burden :(

Harry: you wouldn’t be! You know I want to see you, so does Max :)

Y/N: okay! I’ll pack a bag and head over, see you soon!

Harry had been cute while he was away, sending Y/N a few selfies of him and Max. She had been to his house so many times, this wouldn’t be weird at all to spend a couple of snowy days together. She gets all her things packed, and makes her way to Harry’s. It was just starting to flurry when she parked in his driveway. He comes outside to help her with her things.

“And this time, you’ll let me set up the pullout for you. No need to sleep on a couch for two days.”

“Okay.”

She was hoping he’d give in and let her sleep in his bed with him. Actually, she was hoping he’d pick her up, swing her around, and kiss her. He sets her things down and waits for her to take her coat off, then he hugs hers.

“Had a good holiday?” He asks as he lets her go.

“Yeah, it was good. You?”

“It was great, love getting to see my family.” Max comes trotting in and greets Y/N.

“There’s my little man.” She scoops him up and gives him kisses.

“I was just going to make some tea, would you like some?”

“Please.” She plops down with Max on the couch.

“Do you have to work at Bento’s during all this? I can drive you if you want.”

“No, they closed in preparation of the storm.”

“Oh, good!”

Y/N turns the TV on, and scrolls through Netflix for something simple to watch. Harry comes over with two mugs of tea and he sits down next to her.

“Find anything good? Feel like it’s all Christmas movies right now.”

“Nothing yet…” She squints at the TV. “How about…oh! Have you watched Love, Victor yet? It’s been on my list for ages.”

“Is it based off of Love, Simon?”

“Yeah! This kid Victor is new in town, and ends up going to the same school Simon did.”

“Sure, we could watch that.”

“Shit, it’s on Hulu, you have that right?”

“Mhm, gimme the remote, I’ll switch it over.” She hands it to him and sips on her tea while he queues it up.

“Mm, this is tasty, what is it?”

“It’s black tea with honey, love.” He looks at her wants to laugh. “I don’t usually add anything, but I thought you’d like the honey.”

“It’s perfect, thank you.”

The show starts just as the sun was setting outside. Y/N pulls the blanket Harry keeps on the back of the couch over her legs, and Max moves to Harry’s lap.

“Let me know if I’m being a blanket hog.”

“S’alright, he keeps me pretty warm.”

“Don’t be annoying.” She huffs and spreads the blanket out equally over them. “See, nice and cozy.”

“I’m not being annoying, I’m being…respectful.”

“Golly gee, thanks, mister.” She pouts at him and he rolls his eyes.

“Now who’s being annoying?”

A couple of episodes in, and Harry’s stomach starts rumbling.

“Are you hungry? I can pop a pizza in the oven, or make some pasta?”

“Pizza would be perfect, thank you.”

“Pause it, I just need a minute to get it in the oven.”

Y/N nods and scrolls through her phone while she waits for him to come back. This was nice. It was like they were hanging out as friends, which was okay, but she was hoping he’d make a move for fuck’s sake.

“Alright, should be about fifteen minutes.” He smiles and gets back under the blanket. Y/N presses and play and they get back into it.

After the pizza, they nearly almost binge the entire show. Harry was starting to doze off, so they decide to call it a night. He looks outside in the kitchen window.

“I am not looking forward to digging out our cars. Times like this I wish I had a garage.” He sighs.

“You say that like you’ll be doing it alone. I’ve got all my snow gear, I can help.”

“Right, like I’d let you break your back out there.” He scoffs, and puts his hand on her shoulder. “Let me make up the pullout for you.”

Y/N watches as Harry moves the coffee table, and hoists the pullout into place. The sheets were already on it, so he just lays the blankets and pillows out.

“Well, I’ll be upstairs with Max if you need anything. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, thanks again for letting me stay. I think I would have been scared all alone.”

“No worries, I’m glad you’re here. I, uh, missed you over the holidays.” He clears his throat and heads upstairs.

Y/N does her nightly routine and puts on a tank top and pajama pants for bed. She gets onto the pullout and tries to listen to some music to fall asleep, but the wind was whipping so harshly outside, it was making her uneasy. She hated storms more than anything. Would Harry mind if she crawled into bed with him? She could even sleep on the floor. She just didn’t want to be down here alone. She sighs and slowly gets out of the bed. She makes her way upstairs.

Harry’s bedroom was the entire upstairs, it was sort of like a loft. He had a king sized bed, a decent looking bedroom set, and an en suite. Y/N thought it was really nice, well, what she could make out of it since it was so dark.

“Harry?” She whispers. His head was in his pillow, sleeping on his tummy.

“Mm?” He grunts, clearly out of it.

“I’m a little scared downstairs, would it be alright if I slept on the floor up here?”

“Get in.” He mumbles.

“Really, are you sure? Because I-“

He flips some of the covers back, eyes still closed. Y/N takes a deep breath and gets into the bed. Max was half asleep, but he moves away from Harry to make room for her, plopping down near his feet. Y/N climbs in and faces away from him. This was such a large bed for one guy, and it made her wonder who was the last person to share it with him. She wanted to keep a respectful distance from him, but before she could start counting sheep, his arm was wrapped around her waist, pulling her close to him. Her breath hitched, but she could hear his steady breathing, he was definitely asleep. He must just sleep better when he’s holding onto something, she thinks.

//

Harry’s eyes flutter open around 5AM. He was used to getting up that early to take Max out, but for some reason he felt like he got some of the most restful sleep he’s gotten in a long time. He feels warm and cozy, and even though he knows he needs to get up and brave the cold so his dog could relieve himself, he found himself nuzzling in to whatever he was holding onto.

That’s when it hits him that he wasn’t dreaming last night, and Y/N genuinely came up into his room because she was feeling uneasy being all alone downstairs. She was still fully clothed, but he wasn’t he was only in his boxers. His leg was between hers, and she was pressed up against him. He wondered if she slept well like this. Just because he slept better holding onto something didn’t mean that she would.

He makes subtle movements, not wanting to wake her. He nearly winced leaving the warmth of the bed, but he got through it. Max pops his head up and Harry puts his finger up to his lips to signal that he needed to be quiet. Harry snatches his sweatpants and a pair of socks, and grabs Max to take him downstairs. He throws his coat and boots on, gets the leash on Max, and out the door he goes. He shoves his beanie down over his ears as he feels the wind whip around. There were snow drifts everywhere and it was still coming down. He uses the flashlight on his phone so Max could see what he was doing.

“Come on, buddy, I know it’s cold, but Daddy doesn’t wanna be out here long.” He wanted to get back to Y/N.

Once Max does his business, Harry gets him so food and fresh water. He strips himself of his jacket and socks, but leaves his sweatpants on. He was shirtless, but he was too groggy from the morning to care. Once Max is all set, Harry carries him upstairs so his collar doesn’t jingle around. He plops him on the bed, and he goes right over to Y/N to curl up with her. Harry uses the bathroom quick, brushing his teeth and all that, and then slowly slides back into bed. Y/N hadn’t moved, still laying on her side facing away from him, so he just wraps himself back around her. Well, he thought she hadn’t moved. The second she heard the door close downstairs, she sprinted down to “her” bathroom to wash up and brush her own teeth. She wasn’t sure if morning snuggles would ensue, but she wanted to be fresh if they did.

A sigh leaves Harry’s lips as he settles back in, pressing nice and close to her and keeping his arm around her waist. She gives it a few minutes, and then she adjust against him. She could tell he was wearing sweatpants now, and not just his boxers. She was subtle about it, not fully pressing her ass against him, just a simple adjustment, so he didn’t think anything of it. After another couple of moments, she presses back into him, and he involuntarily presses forward towards her. He was definitely starting to get hard. He grips her waist a little tighter as he continues to press into her.

“Mm, Harry?” She rolls onto her back to look up at him.

“Hi.” He moves his hand away from her lower stomach to move some hair away from her face. “How’d you end up here, hm?” He asks softly.

“Storms really scare me, and the wind was loud.” She starts smiling. “Feel much better now.” His hand slides down to cup her jaw. “I asked first and you told me to get in.”

“I did, didn’t I…”

“Pulled me right up close to you, it was nice.” She sighs.

“Can’t remember the last time I slept so well, to be honest.”

He lets go of her and flops onto his back, groaning. She rolls onto her side and props herself up with her elbow, resting her cheek on her palm.

“You make things so difficult for yourself. I’m not your TA right now.”

“But you will be again.”

“Because you wanted me to be.”

He looks at her and pouts.

“We’ll see each other more this way.”

“But…wouldn’t it be nice to go out on dates and touch and-“

“You’ve seen how busy I am, I rarely have time to see my friends as it is. I’d feel guilty for not being able to do those things with you.”

“You have me to yourself for the next four weeks, Harry, and the girls won’t be back until a week before school starts.”

“We’d have to stop when the semester starts back up, and wait again. I don’t know if I’ll be able to do that.”

“We could be discrete.”

“I’d have to be a little cold towards you.”

“You’re no stranger to that.” She scoffs.

“Y/N.” Harry’s hand finds her hip. “This is serious.”

“I’m about to graduate, from grad school, Harry. It’s not like I’m some eighteen year old girl sitting in one of your classes. I’m twenty-three, and you’re twenty-six, it’s really not that weird.”

“I’ll be twenty-seven next month.” He mutters.

“Great, then we can go out and celebrate when the time comes. Is there something in a handbook saying we can’t…do this?”

“It’s extremely frowned upon, I can assure you.” He groans again before speaking. “This is so frustrating, it’s not like you’re my first TA either, fuck, even I was a TA. Shit like this never happened. I’ve never been…attracted to someone I’ve worked with before.”

“You’re probably the only professor I’ve been into before.”

“See, right there, you had a thing for me when you were in my class only a couple of years ago, and-“

“And nothing happened then. You barely remembered me when I first came to your office. I was a flustered senior, that was it. Now…well, I know you now. I’m way less nervous around, I feel like I can really talk to you.”

“I feel the same way.” He sighs. “Fucking, Christ.” He yanks her down to her chest, and she yelps. His fingers scratch at her scalp and she nearly whimpers at how nice it feels to lay on his chest, having him play with her hair. “We can lay here a little longer, and then I need to go to move some of the snow.”

“I’m helping.” She puts a leg over his. “And you’re still a little…riled up, don’t you want to-“

“No.”

“But I could-“

“Y/N.” She looks up at him. “Just lay here with me.”

They both doze back off for a bit until Max starts barking. He must need to pee. Harry gets up and tells Y/N she can shower if she wants to.

“I’ll wait, I’ll get sweaty shoveling.”

“It’s my house, you don’t need to help.” He throws on a long sleeve shirt and thick socks. He looks at her crossing her arms over her chest. “Here.” He tosses her one of his sweaters. “Come on, Max.”

They all head downstairs. His sweater smelled just like him. She hoped she could keep this too just like with the pj’s he had given her a couple of months ago. He takes Max out quick, and then sets him back inside so he can get to shoveling. Y/N decides she could make him breakfast since he wouldn’t let her help outside.

She goes through his fridge and cupboards to find some different things. She wanted to make something that would take some time so it would be warm for him when he got inside.

“Muffins!” She says to herself as she rifles through his baking supplies.

She whips up a mixture of blueberry muffins and get them popped in the oven. She has the glorious idea to slice them in half and butt them up on his griddle when they’re done, just to give it a little crunch. Next, she cracks some eggs into the pan, and makes them sunny side down because she remembers him making them that way. She even finds some bacon to throw on the griddle.

When he comes inside, his nostrils are hit with everything she’s made. Everything was on plates on the kitchen table, and she was washing everything in the sink. He strips down to his boxers, having been drenched with sweat after digging out their cars. The snow was still falling, but it was good to get ahead of things before it all froze.

“Harry, I made…” She freezes when she looks at him. Seeing his full body in the light was much different than in the hazy darkness of his bedroom.

“I didn’t know I had blueberry muffins.” He says as he looks down at the plates.

“You, um, you didn’t, I made them.”

“From scratch?”

“Well, yeah.”

He picks up the muffin bottom and takes a bite. His eyes close for a second as he gets a good taste. It was buttery and a bit crisp from being on the griddle. It was perfection. He turns to her after he swallows.

“You’re…a literal angel.” He steps closer to her, and he notices her eyes drift down and back up. “I’ll go put some clothes, and then-“

She puts a hand on his chest. Her eyes plead with his. Just kiss me, she silently says to him.  His hands fly up to her jaw, and he pulls her in, lips crashing together, finally. She melts into him immediately. His tongue slides along her bottom lip, and she opens up for him. She can taste the blueberry muffin on him, and it makes her suck on his tongue. He groans against her, and his hands slide down to her ass to get a good squeeze. She wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him even closer.

“Harry.” She breathes against his lips.

He gets a good grip on her and lifts her up to sit her on the counter. He quickly draws the shades for the window above the sink so anyone out shoveling wouldn’t be able to see anything. He tugs at the sweater of his he was wearing and lifts it off her. Her legs open wide for him to stand between. His lips attach to the crook of her neck, sucking, licking, biting. Her hips buck towards his as she tugs at his hair. One of his hands lifts her shirt slightly, and she thinks he’s going to feel her breasts up, but instead his fingers find the band of her pajama pants. He stops to look at her.

“Can I?”

“Yes.”

His hand dips below, and it’s almost like he’s searching for something else.

“Are you not wearing any knickers?”

“No.” She blinks at him. “I don’t usually wear underwear to bed.”

“Jesus Christ.”

She opens her legs a little wider for him, and he groans when his fingers touch around her folds, and he feels her wetness sticking to him already. His other arm wraps around behind her to hold her close to him. He plays around with her, fingers rubbing all around until his middle finger slides in. She gasps, not having expected so much so soon, but she wasn’t complaining. She clutches at his shoulders when she feels another finger slip inside. He twists them around, just getting a feel for things, and he curls them up, knowing this was what she really wanted.

“Oh! Oh my god.” Her head rolls back. He was make that come here motion right on that sweet spot of her front wall. His lips find her neck again as he continues. His thumb starting to rub on her clit. “Oh fuck, Harry, oh my god.” She didn’t realize how whiney she could sound, but he loved. She was a mess for him.

“Been thinking about this for so long.” He says into her ear.

“Me too.” She was panting now. “It feels so good.”

“Yeah? Like having my fingers buried inside you?”

Her mouth falls open. He was into dirty talk and it made her clench around him.

“Yes, oh my fucking god, yes.” She bites down on his collar bone to try to muffle any louder noises, but he was knuckle deep, fucking her with his fingers, it was no use. “Harry, I’m so close, oh fuck!”

His hand around her waist reaches up to tug at the back of her head. He wanted to watch her go through the motions. He wanted to see just how good he was making her feel. Her eyes rolls into the back of her head as she continues to beck forward. Her release was long, and so very good. She cried out, maybe a little louder than she should have, but he wasn’t telling her to keep it down. Did he want his neighbors to hear? Did he want them to know how good he could fuck someone?

He slows down his motions inside of her, helping her through the aftershocks, and then he slowly retracts his fingers. He sucks them into his mouth and then steps away from her. She was breathless. He kisses her cheeks and then helps her hop down from the counter.

“You made such a nice breakfast, let’s not let it go to waste.”

“Harry…” She watches him sit down.

“What?”

“Don’t you want to-“

“I’m all sweaty, I’d like to take a shower before going further if that’s alright with you.”

“Okay.”

She sits down with him and eats her food that she was now ravenous for.

“You really made this from scratch?”

“Yeah, I’m glad you like it.”

“It’s delicious.”

They finish eating and decide to clean up later. She follows him upstairs to his shower. He helps her out of her clothes and lets her get in first. She throws her hair up into a bun so it doesn’t get soaked. He rids himself of his boxers and gets in behind her. She moves aside so he can wash up. She presses her front to his back, and her hands roam along his long torso.

“You made me feel so good, I think it’s your turn.”

She kisses on his back while she starts to stroke his hardening length. It felt so big in her hand. Harry’s head falls to his chest, and he presses a palm to the tile wall to keep himself grounded. She runs her thumb over his tip and he groans. He grabs her hand and turns around. He backs her up to the opposite wall, cradling the back of her head as he basically slams her against it. His lips are on hers in seconds. Everything felt hot and wet, and just otherworldly. Y/N couldn’t enough. In the back of her head she kept thinking that she couldn’t believe this was happening. It wasn’t often that she got what she wanted.

“Please, fuck me.” She says against his lips.

“I don’t have any condoms.” He kisses down her neck and kneads her breasts.

“I’m on the pill.”

“S’not what I’m worried about.” He pulls his head back to look at her. “Are you clean?”

“I am, actually. I was tested last time I went to the doctor. Are you?”

“I am.” He smiles. “So…you really wanna feel all of me? Just like that?”

“Yes.” She whines. “Please.”

He kisses her and bites on her bottom lip, sucking on it as he pleases. He lifts one of legs up over his hip, and uses his other hand to line himself up. She was still plenty wet, so he’s able to push inside.

“Fuck, Y/N.” He grunts, trying to push further inside her. “So tight.”

“I…Christ, I think you’re just really big.” She gasps once he’s all the way inside.

His head drops to watch himself slowly thrust in and out of her. He bites his bottom lip at the sight. He looks back up at her, watching her features.

“Are you comfortable?”

“Could you maybe just hold my leg up?”

Harry nods and hooks his arm under leg, driving in deeper. Her head rolls back against the tile. Once he knew she was okay, he didn’t let up. He was fucking her hard and fast, only slowing up so he could hear her whimper and beg for more. Her nails were clawing at his back, and it was just egging him on. He uses his other hand to rub at her clit. She was starting to breathe heavier, moan after moan leaving her lips. He could tell she was close.

“Gonna come again for me?”

“Yes, fuck, I’m almost there, Harry!”

He sucks the tender skin of her neck between his teeth, and that’s what pushes her over the edge. Her senses totally overwhelmed. He gasps when he feels how deeply her nails dig into him from going through the motions of her orgasm. He pulls out of her quickly and comes on her stomach. He’s out of breath, pressing kisses to her cheek and neck.

“No going back now.” He says as he caresses her cheek.

“Nope.” She smiles.

He pecks her lips and turns back around to stand in the water again. Her eyes grow wide and he winces once the water cascades over him.

“Harry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize I was hurting you.”

“It didn’t hurt while it was happening, is it bleeding?” He looks over his shoulder trying to see for himself.

“Um…I broke the skin, but it’s not bloody.” She blushes. “Yikes, that’s embarrassing.”

“No it’s not.” He chuckles and moves so she can rinse her stomach off in the water. She turns it off and they both step out to towel off. “I wasn’t hurting you was I?”

“No, oh my god, it felt so good. Feels like I’m still throbbing.”

He wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her close. She rests her hands on his chest.

“Do you like ice skating?”

“What?” She laughs. “Yeah, I love it, why?”

“Because once this storm is over, m’taking you on a proper date.” He kisses her forehead and lets her go. “Would you like that?”

“I’d love it.”

Harry was so peculiar, Y/N thought. One second he’s saying they can’t be together and the next he wants to take her out on a date. What she didn’t know was that he had never felt quite so good while having sex. It wasn’t because she felt incredibly tight around him, it had more to do with the trust and natural connect. He felt happy, a feeling he thought would never return.

//

To Y/N’s surprise, Harry was a really good ice skater. The two of them were like a real couple. He would visit her at work, they’d go out to the bar with his friends, and they’d have sleep overs at each other’s places. He quite liked her apartment. Not to mention, he couldn’t keep his hands off her. If they were going for a brisk walk, his hand was in hers. If they were sitting through a move, his arm was around her shoulders, and of course they were having a lot of sex. Even when she had her period, he fucked her.

“Got my red wings years ago, promise it doesn’t gross me out.” He had told her.

And god, when he ate her out. Sometimes they wouldn’t even have full on sex. Sometimes they’d be on the couch, and he’d ask if she would ride her face, and then they would just sixty-nine. Sometimes she would just blow him because she liked the way his come tasted. Harry drank a fuck ton of pineapple juice, even before they started hooking up, he always had a small can of it in his office. He just liked the taste. They were just intimate in all sorts of ways, totally comfortable.

It was when Nessa and Charlotte returned that Harry’s bubbled had to burst. School would be starting in a week, and he needed to make sure his shit was together. He had been to the office a few times, working to make sure his courses were together. He and Y/N were professional and went over the class she would be the TA for.

“This is gonna have to be what it’s like when school starts again, don’t forget.” He would say. It killed her, but she would never do anything to put his job at risk, even if she didn’t think their situation was all that serious. She had to respect his wishes.

“I’d feel more comfortable if you slept over at my place since their home.”

“Harry, they know what’s been going on…Niall and Charlotte still talk, and they-“

“I don’t care, I’d rather you be here…and only on the weekends.”

“What?”

“Saturday nights can be our night. On the weekends, you’re not my TA.”

“What will I be then?”

“My girl.”

They had put the boyfriend/girlfriend label chat on the back burner, but that was all she needed to hear to know that she was really his, and he certainly didn’t want someone else trying to steal her away. He had gotten her a necklace, it was simple, but very much her style. A way of showing her how much she truly meant to him.

“Anytime during the week you’re feeling like I don’t want you because I can’t show my affection, this will be your reminder of how much I care.”

She thought it was incredibly sweet, and it was nice to have the reassurance. When classes started, it was definitely difficult. The one thing getting her through this first week was his birthday party on Saturday. Just a small thing with friends at the bar, but still. They wouldn’t have to hide there, or so she thought. Some other professors were invited to the party, which meant Harry couldn’t touch Y/N. He frowned immediately. He wasn’t in charge of the guest list. He pulls Y/N to the side before they walk into the main area.

“I’m so sorry, I promise when we get back to my place later I’m gonna love on you all night.”

“Harry, it’s okay. It’s your birthday, I’m the one that’ll be doing the loving. Go on, enjoy.”

He gives her a discrete peck on the cheek, and then walks into the main room to say hello to everyone. Y/N invited Charlotte and Nessa, so she had other people to talk to. Niall’s arm was hooked around Charlotte’s waist the entire night. Y/N and Nessa teased her every chance they got.

“I’ve been told to check in on you. Orders from the birthday boy.” Louis says to Y/N.

“Thanks.” She chuckles. “It’s okay. Next year things will be totally different.”

“Really see things lasting then, don’t you.” It wasn’t a question.

“I think so, yeah. If the person who he said actually retires, I’m hoping to be able to work at the university to start out.”

“That would be great. He raves about you, you know? He’s a simple guy, likes being domestic. I think he said one of his favorite things to do with you is just cook a meal together.”

“Aw, he’s so sweet.” She pouts. “I like doing that too.”

Harry was mingling with everyone that came out for his birthday. Everyone sang to him, a cake was made him too. The second he tasted it he knew Y/N had baked it. He thought at the least they could have their picture taken together, that wouldn’t look weird.

“Harry!” One of the faculty members, Constance, comes over to him, a young woman by her side. “There’s someone I want you to meet, this is my daughter, Angie.”

“Oh! Hi, I’ve heard a lot about you.” He politely shakes her hand.

“It’s nice to meet you too.” She blushes.

“I’ll leave you to it.” Constance winks and walks away.

“I’m so sorry about her. She conned me into coming here, hope I’m not crashing your birthday.”

“You’re not.” He looks back at Y/N and then to Angie. “So, this is a set up then?”

“She seems to think we have a lot in common.”

“And perhaps we might, but…I’m sort of seeing someone. It’s a…long distance thing, so she’s not here tonight, unfortunately.”

“Oh! She could have sworn you were single, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s alright. I’m sure you’re lovely, I just really like this woman and I don’t want to screw it up.” He smiles and she nods.

Harry finally makes his way over to Y/N and Louis.

“Do me a favor,” He says to Louis, taking out his phone. “Take a picture of us.”

“Are you sure?” Y/N asks.

“Positive.” He smiles and puts an arm around her shoulders. Louis snaps a couple of shots and hands Harry his phone back. “Sorry you won’t be able to post these…”

“Well, I could, my insta is private, but we can talk about it later.”

“Lou, could you drop Y/N off at my place when this is over, we drove together, but I don’t wanna risk anyone seeing us leave in the same car.”

“Course, mate.”

Harry nods and walks away to continue talking to other people.

“He acts like you’re his student. I don’t see anything wrong with you two doing what you’re doing.”

“I don’t either.” She sighs. “But he worked so hard to get where he is, I have to respect doing things his way. It was a long week, but I’m happy to be going back to his place later.”

Y/N’s lips were on Harry’s the second he let her through the door. He made sure to get home before her so they didn’t even leave at the same time. She had him pushed against the wall and his hands were all over her.

“Missed you so fucking much.” He says, walking her back towards the living room. “And I loved the watch you got me, you didn’t have to do that.”

“Wanted to.” She starts unbuttoning his shirt and pushes him down on the couch, straddling him in no time.

“Gonna let me lick it, angel?”

“Is that what you want?”

“You have no idea. You’re as sweet as the cake you made me.”

“How did-“

“Y/N, I know it’s only been a month, but I’d know your baked goods anywhere.” He smirks.

She giggles and stands up to unbutton her jeans. He yanks them down her legs along with her panties and she kicks them to the side. Harry lays down on the couch and Y/N hovers over his face. He liked it better this way. One, he didn’t have to get on his knees and suffer through the pain of being on the hardwood. Two, he liked the way Y/N would just ride his tongue.

Max was upstairs, thanks to the gate. So they didn’t have to worry about him coming down and jumping on them.

“Fuck, Harry.” She moans. “Your tongue feels so good.” She rocks her hips back and forth on him, the stubble from his chin feeling extra delicious. He moans against her, lapping up every drop. “You like that, birthday boy? Like having me on you like this?” She looks down at him and see his eyes rolling into the back of his head. He sucks on her clit harshly, and that pushes her over the edge. “Oh, fuck!”

Once she’s through, she climbs off him. Before she knows it, he’s throwing her over his shoulder to bring her upstairs. He gives her bum a smack and she squeals. Y/N left plenty of scratch marks on Harry that night.

//

Y/N was antsy for every weekend. The weeks dragged on, and the weekends went by in a flash. Then she remembered something wonderful.

“Spring break!” She says, bursting into their shared office.

“What about it?” Harry chuckles.

“Two weeks off without the students!” She leans a little closer to him. “Two weeks of me not being your TA.” She grins and then sits down in her seat.

“We’ll be grading, darling.” He says nonchalantly.

“This is a pet name free zone, remember?”

“Sorry.” He smirks. “Didn’t think ‘darling’ would get your knickers in twist.”

“Fuck off.” She rolls her eyes. “Do we seriously have to grade? Can’t we do fun things? I have time off from school, I don’t wanna do anything.”

“M’surprised you don’t want to go home or go with your friends somewhere.”

“I’ve done the whole go to Florida and get blitzed thing, I’m all set. And I may go home for a couple of days, but I don’t really like being home long. Somehow I get stuck doing chores, and I get aggravated.”

“I’ll tell you what, if we get through enough of the grading, we can do something really fun.”

“Deal.” She smiles.

Sometimes Y/N felt like this was only hard for her, but it killed Harry. He had fantasies of bending Y/N over his desk, or even just kissing her good morning. He even started letting her come over on Friday nights instead of Saturday because he just couldn’t wait any longer. He knew he was being overly careful, but he just couldn’t risk it.

//

Harry stayed true to his word. They got through a lot of the grading so drove them out to the coast for a walk on the pier at a large beach. It was still too chilly for real beach weather, but there were less people around this time of year, and some of the shops were open. Y/N clung to Harry’s arm and they both just enjoyed the fresh air and the scenery. He took her to a nice dinner, and then they walked for a bit to watch the sunset.

“This was the perfect day.” She sighs as they begin their drive back to his place.

“It really was.” His rests his hand on her thigh and gives it a squeeze. “I love you, Y/N.”

She whips her head to look at him. His eyes were focused on the road. Tears start to prick at her eyes. No one ever said that to her before. She had been in relationships, but she never really got to a point for such strong words, and she certainly never felt it back.

“I love you, too.”

“Aw, look at us.” He smiles. “Two people in love.”

“I wasn’t expecting you to say that…” She sniffles.

“Hey, no need to cry, darling.”

“I just…no one’s ever told me they loved me before.”

“What?!” He squeezes her leg tighter. “But there’s so much to love. You’re kind, caring, an incredible baker, witty, funny, brilliant-“

“Harry, please.” She chuckles. “When we get home we’re making love.”

“I’ve made love to you before, just didn’t say anything. Anytime we’re really soft and careful, I’m making love to you.”

“God.” Her face flushes, thinking of the many sensual times he’s touched her. “Well, I can’t wait to do it again.”

//

It was a Tuesday, which meant Y/N wouldn’t be in the office with Harry. She had class and then a shift at Bento’s. He wanted her to be able to nap in between. He saw that the open IDS position had been posted, and he emailed her immediately. He couldn’t wait to work on her resume and cover letter together.

“Harry?” Constance knocks on the outside of his door.

“Hey, Connie! Come on in.” He beams at her. She squints at his collar, seeing just the top of a love bite.

“Did you see that girlfriend of yours this weekend?” She asks, as she sits down.

“Sure did.” He smiles. “I saw her for a while over spring break too, told her I loved her, and she said it back. I’m on cloud nine. M’sorry things didn’t line up with your daughter, she’s a very pretty girl. My friend Lou is single, maybe-“

“Harry, Harry.” She chuckles. “No worries at all, she’s been dating around a bit. I shouldn’t have just assumed you were single, and that’s great that you two are doing so well. I think I thought you weren’t seeing anyone because with your last girlfriend…well…you had pictures of her on your desk, and you gushed about her. We don’t even know this one’s name.”

“You will soon enough.” Harry did have pictures of Y/N, they were just discrete. His lock screen was the picture of them at his birthday, and his wallpaper was just a picture of her. He could look at her whenever he wanted. “She’s, uh, finishing up grad school.”

“Oh, good for her! Anyways, I came here to chat with you about my sabbatical. Obviously it’s turned into a full year instead of just the fall semester. We’re going to have a department meeting, but I wanted to see how you’d feel about stepping in as department chair while I’m gone.”

“Are you serious?!” He perks up.

“Yes.” She chuckles.

“That would be a dream! I have so many ideas, and-“

“It would mean you wouldn’t be able to teach as many classes, and you’ll have more responsibilities over winter and summer break.”

“That’s no problem, honestly. I only go to London for a couple of weeks, I’m usually in the area for summer. I’d love to give it a go. I didn’t think I’d be next in line.”

“It’s coming from my own suggestion. I’ve been doing this a long time, and I think you’d be great at it. It would sort of be a trial, and then when I come back we could reflect on the experience.”

Harry was buzzing, absolutely buzzing. He needed to tell Y/N about his good news, so he hops in his car, and zips over to her apartment. She was vegging out in a t-shirt and panties with Nessa and Charlotte, who were both dressed in the same thing. They hear the bell on their door.

“Who the fuck is that? It’s nearly nine.” Nessa says.

“No idea.” Y/N says, getting up to check it out. She sees Harry through the peephole. Her eyebrows raise, but she opens the door. “Dr. Styles, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Y/N, I’m sorry for…” He looks her up and down. “This is how you open the door?!”

“I saw it was you.” She shrugs and steps aside to let him in.

“Hi, Harry.” Charlotte and Nessa say at the same time.

“Hi girls.” He smiles and looks at Y/N. “I got great news today and I just had to see you, can we got to your room?”

“Of course.” Once they’re both in there, they sit on her bed. “So what’s up? I got your email about the job, I’m really excited.”

“Good news for both of us today. Connie, my department chair, came by to see me today, and she wants me to be department chair while she’s on sabbatical next year while she’s gone. It would be like a trial run. Me! Department chair! I have so many ideas, this is the opportunity I’ve been hoping for.”

“Oh, Harry.” She throws her arms around him. “That’s incredible, I’m so happy for you.”

“Thanks.” He holds her in his arms for a moment and then lets her go so he can stand up. “Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Harry…” She whines.

“Don’t start, I just wanted to see your face when I told you.”

“You could have FaceTimed me.”

“Oh.” He shakes his head. “It’s been a long day.” He chuckles.

“You can stay.”

“No, I can’t.” He caresses one of her cheeks. “I want to, but I can’t. Soon, babe, so soon.”

“Um…” She stands up and looks down. “If I get this job…I mean…the lease for this place is up June first, and…well…the girls are going to be working in schools, and won’t need to live here anymore, and…I mean, I could find new roommate and sign a new lease...”

“Or, you could come move in with me.” He takes her hands in his and kisses her knuckles.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I want you to. I want you around all the time. Being apart from you during the week really fucks with how clingy I naturally am.” He smirks.

“I like it, though. We spend all weekend in your big, comfy bed.”

“Look forward to it every week.” He sighs happily. “Just gotta get through you walking across that stage, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright.” He kisses her cheek. “I love you, sweet dreams.”

“I love you too.”

//

Harry helped Y/N apply for the job, and after two nerve-wracking rounds of interviews, and two weeks of pure stress that even Harry’s cock couldn’t squash, she got the call that she got the job. Harry took Y/N out to celebrate, they both nearly cried when she got the call. She told her parents and they were ecstatic.

“In a few years, if you feel like it, you could get your PhD for free through the university.” He says to her as they’re laying in bed.

“Hm, three degrees from the same place.” She taps her chin. “Doesn’t seem like a great idea.”

“If you can do it for free, you should. It was the smartest thing I ever did. Well that, and giving into you.”

“Giving into me?!” She laughs. “You make it sound like I seduced you.”

“I fell for you so hard. You’re just so wonderful.” He pouts. “Are your parents excited to meet me in a couple of weeks? I’m excited to meet them.”

“They’re definitely curious to see who the guy I’m going to be moving in with is.”

“Are you going to miss the girls?”

“So much! They’ve been great to live with. Nessa’s moving in with Andy. She found a college in the city he works in to teach at. She’s so good at putting productions together, I’m excited for her. Charlotte may be in the area, though. Something tells me the school she’ll be teaching at is close by to Niall.”

“I’ve never seen him so smitten. He takes the more serious part of a relationship slow, but once he’s in he’s in.” He pulls her closer to him. “Everything’s falling into place. I’ve been working with Connie to get prepared for the fall, and I couldn’t be more excited.”

“I’m really proud of you.”

“I’m proud of you too, babe.”

//

The day they had both been waiting for was finally here. The graduate ceremony was in the evening, separate from the undergraduate ceremony. Y/N wouldn’t be able to see Harry until after the ceremony. She was busy with her parents and younger siblings. Harry may have clapped and cheered extra loud when she walked across the stage. Most people around him thought it was just because she had been his TA for an entire year. Literally no one suspected more was going on between them. After today it wouldn’t matter anyways.

There was a champagne reception after the ceremony. Y/N easily found her family.

“We’re so proud of you honey. Another degree, a new job, and you’re moving in with a guy!” Her mom says.

“I’m still not thrilled about the last part. We don’t even know him.” Her dad says.

“But I do, so it’s a good thing I’m the one living with him, not you.”

Harry makes his way through the crowd over to her and her family. He takes a deep breath, and when she spots him she squeals. She runs over and jumps into his arms. They kiss as he swings her around.

“You did it!”

“I did it!” They both jump up and down for a moment. “Come on.” She holds his hand to bring him over to everyone. “Harry, these are my parents, and my two younger siblings. Ellie is going to be a senior in college this fall, and Ryan is going to be a sophomore. He’s actually transferring here in the fall.”

“That’s great! Hi, it’s so nice to meet all of you.” He shakes everyone’s hands.

“Damn, a PhD.” Ellie whispers to her sister and winks. “Nice job.” The girls giggle together.

They all decide to go out to dinner together to get to know each other better. Harry and Y/N would be meeting up with Charlotte, Nessa, and the others at the bar once dinner was over. Y/N explains how they waited a while to make things official because Harry wanted to make sure things remained professional. Harry easily impressed her parents. He was incredibly smart and knew how to work people over. Even her dad was happy with him.

Y/N got pretty drunk at the bar with her friends, and Harry was able to keep his arms around her all night without a care in the world. When he got her inside his place, he couldn’t stop kissing her and telling her much he loved her over and over. She was excited to start her new job in a couple of weeks, and he was excited she genuinely wanted to stay, and wasn’t just doing this for him. They would spend the time before starting her job to get her all moved in. They even talked about getting a larger place at some point.

“I can’t wait to snuggle with Mac every night.” She giggles as she gets into bed.

“Hey, what about me?” He pouts.

“I guess you’re nice to snuggle with too.” She jokes.

“Mhm.” He kisses on her and hovers over her. “My girl’s got her master’s. You’re so fucking smart, it turns me on.”

“Really?”

“When we did those mock interviews in my office I couldn’t stop thinking about fucking you.”

“Does this mean we can get a little sneaky in your office now?” She raises an eyebrow at him. “Or are you staying firm with your open door policy?”

“Think I may have to reconsider it, but only for you.”

[2jaeh]

TRUE FRIENDS | MARK LEE

Genre: angst, smut

Warnings: mature themes, dom!Mark, jealous!Mark, slight jaehyunxreader, mentions of alcohol

Word count: 3,6k

Author: SIN

You’re trying to figure out why Mark has been so mad at you since you both agreed on being friends with benefits, Mark on the hand is trying to figure out why the rules between him and Jaehyun were...different.

A/N: it’s angsty but it gets cute I promise! Also I wrote this after listening to Heavenly - cigs after sex! About a thousand times.

—————————————————————————

“When are you guys going to just speak to each other ?” Johnny groaned, following you into the fifth floor dorm kitchen as you placed your mug into the sink.

You turned around and sighed, leaning against the counter as the eager, tall browned haired boy waited for your answer.

“I told you I tried talking to him at Joy’s party last week but he snubbed me...what do you want me to do ?”

Johnny furrowed his eyebrows as if whatever answer you had given him was still not enough. He knew there was more to the story because how can a friends with benefits situation turn so fucking sour in a matter of four weeks ?

“You guys are childish” Johnny huffed, “this is why it should’ve never happened in the first place.”

“You’re the one that pushed us into his dorm that one night knowing we were drunk, what else did you expect to happen ?” You shot back, gripping the sides of the marble countertop.

“Uh...not fuck ?” Johnny shrugged and you shot him a glare before he raised his hands to defend himself,

“All I’m saying is that Mark ain’t the meanest guy around so if he’s mad then maybe it’s serious.”

————————————————————————

Mark was stuck in the booth at the company building, unknowing that it was already past 11pm and most of the staff had gone home. His tired eyes ran over his lyrics for the 20th time, analysing each section, trying to improve what he had, but his mind was elsewhere.

“Knock knock” Mark swivelled his chair to the door and half smiled when he saw Jungwoo’s head pop in with a bottle of soju and chicken.

“What are you doing here man ?” Mark rubbed his eye, placing his lyric book on the soundboard and stretched his arms above his head. Jungwoo took a seat on the couch and unpacked the meal on the wooden coffee table in front of him,

“You’ve been here all day, you didn’t even meet us for dinner” Jungwoo pouted and handed Mark a cup filled with a mixture of soju and sprite.

Mark shot back the drink and sifted through the pieces of chicken, “yeah I was working, kinda lost track of time”

“You’ve been out of it for the past week, is everything okay ? Is this about....y/n ?” Jungwoo’s voice was cautious as he noticed Mark’s eyes narrow at the sound of your name.

“I told you all of that was over” Mark took a measly bite of the chicken and threw it aside, opting for another cup of soju instead.

“You never told me what happened though,” Jungwoo interjected, “all I know you guys were hooking up and next minute every time you two were in a room together it was tense as fuck.”

Mark chewed on his bottom lip and slumped in his chair knowing Jungwoo was going to pester him until he gave him a valid answer.

“Well after that first night we hooked up y/n laid down some ground rules, the usual you know” Mark explained, his thoughts going back to the first night that he spent with you,

“No feelings, freely hooking up with other people, no spending a full night together, no holding hands, like just none of that shit.”

“So just hooking up and leaving ?” Jungwoo raised his brow, his mouth filled with chicken.

Mark nodded, “yeah apparently to preserve our friendship and not make it weird for the friend group or whatever.”

As Mark spoke he felt the pain he felt 13 days ago, when everything had crumbled right before him. When instead of ignoring the matter he pondered on it, made it play in his mind and ruin him.

“What changed ?” Jungwoo poured the both of them another drink and joined Mark in downing their fourth shot for the night.

“What changed was, “ Mark let out a dry chuckle, “what changed was that y/n was also fucking Jaehyun but his rules were obviously very different.”

Mark’s mind flashed to the night he finished work late and when he walked by Jaehyun’s bedroom he heard your voice. You were softly moaning out Jaehyun’s name and not his.

“Y/n stayed the night in Jaehyun’s room and in the morning she barely greeted me and the two of them were being lovey dovey  in the kitchen while making breakfast” Mark topped off his glass with a little more soju than the usual ratio and gulped it down.

“I had no right to get mad right ? Well a couple days later y/n came over I had to hear about how much Jaehyun’s date wasn’t good enough for him or why it was the reason y/n never got into relationships”

Mark’s head was spinning at this point and normally he hated over sharing but it just felt so good to finally let everything out. He had liked you for ages and even confessed to you once before the two of you actually hooked up. As usual you had brushed it over and Mark settled for hooking up instead, as you were “emotionally distant” you had told him.

But the way you reacted to Jaehyun seeing someone else told a different story all together. You were just like him, your feelings weren’t considered, you were only there for a quick no strings attached, that was all.

It made Mark so mad that he decided to cut you off completely. He stopped answering your texts and tried his best to avoid you at all costs. When you tried to contact him at Joy’s Party last week he wanted to tell you everything but then he heard you tell Haechan that he was not talking to you because “he was temperamental.”

You were so careless with his feelings that he wanted nothing to do with you, but every single time he caught a glimpse of you, he just wished he could’ve ignored his feelings and just continued the way you wanted to.

“We should get back to the dorm it’s getting late” Jungwoo sighed and cleaned up the takeaway boxes and stuffed the empty soju bottle into his backpack.

Mark mumbled a yes and got to his feet even though the room spun around him. He had no idea when he had gotten so intoxicated but it numbed the pain he felt...for the moment.

Jungwoo swung open the door of 10th floor and dragged Mark in, hoping everybody would’ve been asleep by now.

“Yooooo did we miss a party or something ?” Johnny yelled from the lounge and Jungwoo groaned under his breath.

Mark looked up wondering why the fifth floor boy was here and then he noticed Jaehyun seated next him followed by you sitting up close next to Jaehyun.

“Great” Mark mumbled under his breath as Jungwoo tried his best to hold him up.

Jungwoo propped Mark up on the bar stool as he got the younger boy a glass of water to ease his state.

“What the hell happened ?” You asked, slowly approaching the kitchen yet still keeping a safe distance from Mark who was practically  sliding off the bar stool.

“Hey be careful” you scolded him, rushing to his side to prop him back onto the seat.

“Leave me alone y/n” Mark muttered as he shrugged out of your hold and propped his elbows up on the counter, burying his head in his hands.

Y/n is just trying to help man” Mark heard Jaehyun say followed by his footsteps approaching the kitchen alongside Johnny. Mark rolled his eyes and took a sip of the water Jungwoo had provided for him before pushing away from the counter and got to his feet.

“I don’t need help from any of you” Mark slurred his words as he tried to find his balance but to his dismay only had him crashing into Johnny.

“Seems like you do” Johnny pursed his lips and held the black haired boy up.

Mark uttered a few curses under his breath until you had enough and dragged him down the hallway into his bedroom and shut the door behind you.

“What the hell is wrong with you Mark Lee ?” You folded your arms as the boy stumbled back onto his bed and sunk into the soft mattress avoiding your eyes.

“Get out y/n” he said under his breath.

“No” you replied sternly and Mark groaned at your stubbornness.

“Why are you here ? Shouldn’t you be in Jaehyuns bed right now ?” Mark’s words made you frown, oblivious to his distaste toward the idea of you and Jaehyun being together.

“Mark” you cautioned and sat next to him on the bed, “can you please tell me what’s going on ?”

“You, him, us, everything” Mark rubbed his eyes and looked over at you, “y/n I’m trying to get over it and you’re not helping right now.”

“Get over what Mark ??!”

“You! Damn man, get over you” Mark yelled, his voice slightly breaking and his heavy breathing turned to soft sobs. You swallowed hard as you watched the guy you always had known to be the positive energy in the room sob over something you had done to him.

This was all your fault.

“Mark when did you-“

“Since a while ago, come on I even confessed to you” Mark wiped away his tear with his black sweater.

You Ofcourse remembered his confession but at the time you weren’t ready and neither was he, and the two of you agreed to stay friends. Then the hook up happened and in order to honor the deal of staying friends you enforced the rules. It was about two weeks of your escapades did Jaehyun kiss you unexpectedly while you were rummaging through his vinyl collection. One thing led to another and you were in his bed, allowing him to have his way with you and even let him convince you to spend the night.

You didn’t think much of it but Jaehyun was a sweet guy and for a second you entertained the idea of having a tiny crush on him, until the very next day he had mentioned Mark.

‘Mark really likes you y/n, how do you feel about him?’ Jaehyun had said while the two of you prepared breakfast.

Mark was great. He was more than great and someone like you didn’t deserve him you thought.

‘Mark’s cool’ you casually replied to Jaehyun knowing you suppressed a lot of feelings when it came to Mark, especially since you had already scrapped the idea of you two being together when he confessed.

‘I think you guys should give it a try’ Jaehyun had told you, which confirmed you and him were just going to be a one time thing.

When you had met Mark a few days later you kept thinking about what Jaehyun had said and the effect it had on you but you weren’t ready to make the first move. You went on to Mark about Jaehyun thinking he’d speak up about it and let you know that Jaehyun wasn’t good for you and you’d respond by kissing him and fixing everything,

But what happened after was not what you had planned.

You hurt him and played it off knowing Mark was head strong and he’d be back to normal the next week. You expected him to be back to his goofy self, ranting to you about God knows what and ending it with his classic “should we make out now or -“

You bit down on your lip as you looked over at Mark who had now fell asleep, his black locks falling over his swollen eyes as he peacefully fell into his slumber.

Not wanting to wake him or leave his side you opted for the floor, pulling an extra pillow from the closet and a rolled up foam mattress that was hidden at the back. Your heavy eyes finally closed but your heart still raced, not knowing how to overcome the situation you were in.

————————————————————————

A few hours later Mark felt a throbbing in his temple and winced when he noticed the first light of morning shine through his window.

All those soju shots were now a regret as Mark sat up wishing his sleep never broke. As his mind recollected his thoughts of last night he quickly remembered you were the last person he spoke to before he passed out. About to step out of bed his hazy eyes quickly cleared to the sight of you, sound asleep on his bedroom floor.

“Y/n ?” He whispered, carefully stepping over you and crouching down to meet your frame.

“Mmm” you answered, eyes still closed but shifting uncomfortably thanks to the rising sun and the wooden floor.

“Y/n sleep on my bed, I’ll close the blinds” Mark rubbed your head until your eyes slowly opened and you began making your way into the warmth of his bed.

Mark felt uneasy as he watched you tuck yourself into his bed unsure of what to do with himself or where to go.

“Mark...” you mumbled.

“Y-yeah ?”

“You should get more sleep, you have a free schedule come here” Mark watched you shift over in the bed creating a space for him to lay down next to you.

In any other circumstance he’d just do it but now it was different. After last night it was all different.

“Mark...”

“Coming...” he responded to you and slowly slipped under the covers, turning on his side to face you. He didn’t expect your eyes to be staring straight back at him.

“I’m so sorry” you said softly, lifting your hand and placed it on his cheek. Mark stayed still and quiet, still wary if you fully understood his outburst or not.

“I- don’t like Jaehyun like that, and he’s way more into you and I being together than me and him” you chuckled dryly,

“Mark I like you just as much, and I always have I’m just stupid, I was just...afraid.”

“Afraid of what ?” Mark raised his eyebrows cutely which made you smile from ear to ear and roll over onto your back to stare up at the ceiling.

“I don’t know, dating is scary and if anything happened we’ll never be friends again” you whined and you heard Mark giggle next to you,

“How can you think about what would happen if we break up before we’re even together ? That’s so stupid” He scoffed and you nudged him in his side.

“I’m serious, I’m sorry I was such a jerk and I want to continue whatever we have this time on your terms” you turned to him and Mark pressed his lips together and nodded,

“I want us to try it out, it doesn’t have to be serious, but I want you to stay over, I wanna hold your hand whenever I want” Mark pouted and enveloped his hand with yours, “and please no more Jung Jaehyun, dude can sing, cook, and God knows what else I can’t compete with.”

“You don’t have to compete because I only like you stupid, you’re perfect” you playfully pinched his cheek and Mark shifted closer to you.

“Officially dating ?” His large eyes looked up into yours,

“Officially dating” you giggled and Mark wasted no time in shifting his body until he was hovering over you. his thumb brushed over your bottom lip and he pressed his mouth against yours, sighing into the deep kiss. Your lips attacked each other excessively and passionately. Mark brought his body down onto yours as your hand tangled in his hair and the other grabbed onto his waist.

Mark pushed his hips into yours roughly, and you groaned at the friction of his Jean clothed member pushing against your core. Mark used your moan as a means to slip his tongue into your mouth as the two of you desperately tried to remove the constricting clothes between you.

“Fuck” Mark sat back on his heels and watched you reach between his legs to palm him through his jeans.

You quickly undid his button and pushed him back as he quickly shimmied out of his jeans and removed his sweater, leaving him in nothing but his black boxers.

Mark licked his lips as he watched you discard of your own clothes before bringing your face down to where his member was just begging to be touched.

Throwing his head back, Mark uttered a curse word as you pulled down his boxers and stroked his length slowly and skillfully. You watched him squirm beneath you as you teased his tip, bringing your tongue to it and flicking it while you pumped his member.

“Baby....” Mark said huskily, sending a shiver down your spine. His eyes were hooded as he looked down at your mouth wrapped around his dick, just waiting for you to suck him off.

You abided quickly and messily took him in your mouth while still using your hand to rub his length. Mark’s curses got even louder until he finally made you stop and pinned your back to the bed, looking down at you with devilish eyes.

“I’m not the one who needs to be punished here” Mark raised his brow as you shrugged innocently,

“But you’re a nice guy, you wouldn’t punish me” you pouted and Mark stuck his tongue in his cheek before giving you a quick smack on your thigh, “yeah that’s not gonna work on me.”

Your heart raced excitedly as Mark rid you of your bra and panties, spreading your legs enough for his frame to sit in between your thighs.

A shudder went through your body when Mark’s index finger traced your inner thigh and abdomen, making sure to dance close enough to your core but not giving it any attention.

“Seriously ?” You groaned, throwing your head back in frustration.

“What?” Mark asked innocently still tracing circles and tried to hide the obvious enjoyment he had from teasing you.

“Do you want me to beg you to touch me ?” You whined, arching your back hoping to somehow get to his touch.

“Hmm” Mark hummed and pulled his hand away, “sounds like a good idea.”

“Mark please touch me, please I -“ you didn’t care how desperate you sounded or if the whole dorm could hear you right now but there was nothing more you wanted than have Mark touch you.

“Okay but that’s only because I’m a nice guy” Mark smirked and slipped two fingers into your dripping core with ease. You let out a loud moan and normally Mark would silence you but right now he couldn’t care less. The more you moaned the faster his fingers moved and when you mentioned you were about to cum he added a third.

“Holy shit” you breathed as you came undone and felt even more light headed when you witnessed Mark lick his fingers clean.

Once he allowed you to catch your breath Mark positioned himself at your entrance and slowly slipped inside, the already wetness made him groan with satisfaction.

Finding his rhythm Mark began thrusting inside of you, grabbing your breast with one hand and your hip with the other to help him keep his pace.

You felt him stretch you out and it was the most exhilarating feeling having him inside you again. Mark was confident in bed and that was one of the most attractive things about him. For someone with a sweet face and an innocent demeanor he was so dominate and tantalizing in bed.

“Mark I’m gonna-“

“Me too” he grunted before flipping you over and grabbed a fist full of your hair and slammed inside of you again. The new position built your orgasm even faster as your ass hit against his abdomen every time he thrusted into you. Mark pulled you up, turning your head to the side as he bit into your shoulder and you screamed out his name continuously.

“Cum for me” Mark growled in your ear and those words were enough for you release your second orgasm. Mark quickly pulled out of you and stuffed his length into your mouth, groaning as you swallowed every bit of him and even cleaned up any remaining mess with your tongue.

“I missed that” Mark collapsed on the bed trying to catch his breath while you did the same.

“Me too” you hummed and rested your head on his chest as the two of you drifted off to a sweet slumber.

———————————————————————

It was mid day and Mark and you snuck into the bathroom to quickly clean up after a quickie in the shower Ofcourse and arrived in the kitchen where the rest of Mark’s bandmates were.

The tenth floor boys and Johnny were all enjoying their lunch but their smug faces when the two of you walked out said it all.

“Well we’re dating now, so that’s out of the way” you grabbed a fry from the table and popped it into your mouth.

“Congrats” Jungwoo clapped, more interested in the food in front of him than the announcement he obviously saw coming.

“Hey maybe they didn’t hear anything after all” Mark whispered into your ear and placed a soft kiss on your cheek before sitting down to join the meal.

You shrugged and slipped into the seat next to Johnny, and watched as Yuta, Jaehyun, and Taeil shared a quick glance and smirk,

“I really didn’t take Mark for a begging kink kind of guy”  Johnny said nonchalantly while the entire table erupted in laughter as you hid your reddened face and Mark choked on his glass of water.

[oh-for-fic-sake]

It’s A Match Chapter One

Masterlist

Disclaimer

Summary: Filming is over and Henry returns home to and empty house. And he doesn't like it, things are getting to him and he doesn't want to be alone anymore. Then his brother suggests online dating, it sounds mad but henry decides to give it a shot. If worst comes to worst he just deletes the profile. He has nothing to loose right?

Warnings: Angst, Swearing, Cheese, Self Indulgent Fic, Rpf, Plus sized reader.

A/N: so I wrote this before the whole 'girlfriend' shock and everything that has followed. I was of two minds whether to ever post it but honestly, this is my blog and I've clearly stated that i am going to continue writing Rpf. I want to do a little ficlet/mini fic and well here we go. It wont be smutty just  somewhat angsty then fluffy. Enjoy~

Taglist: In Reblogs.

Henry slumped back on the seat in his conservatory and sighed, from here he could see his brothers and their wives outside, each snuggled up on the out door wicker sectional he had got to have the family over. It was the first family get together for over a year. He was happy, god it was amazing to see them but... He couldn't help being a tad envious.

They all had a family, wife and kids to go through this shitstorm in. He had no one, well he ha Kal. But that was it he sighed and looked away sipping from his cup slowly takeing a moment for himself. He needed to just chill, but it was getting hard... This year had really knocked him back he was at an all time low he hadn't felt like this for a long time. He knew he was depressed, he felt stupid there was no reason to be but there we go.

Henry had been getting himself all twisted for a while now, filming the Witcher helped but now that was over and he was home alone. Left with his thoughts in a big empty house.

"Sooo little brother want to tell me what's going on or am I gonna have to get mum in here?" Henry jumped at the voice and spun around to face his brother who was keeping a safe distance at the door. Wiping his hands down clearly just having washed them again.

"I ah its nothing, you know me I'm a worry wart" he said waving off his older brother he didn't want to bring down the mood of the small gathering, it was why he had come in here to take a breather.

"You called us all here for a visit hen, out of the blue when lockdown is still being eased out. Its clear you don't want to be alone, yet your sitting in here alone." His older brother said leaning on the door frame folding his arms trying to figure out what was really going on. He could see his little brother was hurting he wanted to help.

"I've got Kal" Henry said with a chuckle and looked about for the bear only to frown and sigh seeing the room was empty apart fro  him and his brother.

"Kal's outside with the kids hen, what's up? You can tell me you know" henry sided as his sibling  moved sitting in the small seat across from him. He knew that his family would listen but he felt so... spoilt like he was asking too much and was being selfish. It wasn't like him.

He grunted leaning back choosing not to look at his brother instead focusing on the cup in his hand. He spun it slightly then heaved a sigh. He wasn't getting away with not speaking about it, he was going to air out his worries one way or another. With his brother or his mother, and he loved his mother but this was? He wanted to keep this issues close to his chest. So far only Kal knew about his problems.

"I... I've had enough... just had enough of fucking covid and being alone... i felt isolated before all this shit kicked off and now?" He vented releasing all the fears he had. It was tough, he was a family man without his own little family, he hadn't managed to find anyone to share his life with and it got to him. He tried being sincere and polite, he took care of himself and tried staying true to himself but... something was missing it had to be! On paper he was a safe bet a good man! Yet his relationships never worked. There were different opinions or his other half couldn't handle the life style or they tried changing him or they couldn't put up with the way he loved so furiously- so openly wanting to always hold and kiss them. It just never quite worked.

"Its- fuck everything has just caught up with me...worries I've had for a few years now I could ignore them you know? I had other stuff going on, was always out and about meetings and press tours I was busy! But now?" He tried putting his feeling into words but he was conscious, he didn't want to whine or bitch about his life. He loved his work and the life he had made for himself he just? Wanted someone to share it with.

"Now after covid you've got all the time in the world to think?" Henry nodded agreeing with his brother. Covid had made him face these fears head on. He has been alone for the best part of a year with the uncertainty of his work and filming quarantines and isolations.

"Yeah, it hurts I'm... I'm in deep and I? I don't know how I'm getting out of this slump" henry finally said outloud, his brother dipped his head listening to him as he ranted. Started letting out all the frustration and anxiety out but stopped short with another growl closeing his hand around the cup tightly hissing in frustration then looked away.

"And what's caused it? I know you hate being alone but?" Henry sighed shaking his head as his brother tried coaxing more out of him. He drew in a shaky breath wanting to cry, he was just so lost and upset over being upset and alone.

"Two lock downs... Two alone- I? If this carries on for the next few years I don't... I don't want to be alone anymore! I want to settle down, I want an actual personal life! A relationship a family and? How? How am I gonna find all that? They want fame or money or something! Women never seem to want me for me, they say the do then judge me for my hobbies- I'm a geek I like tech and games and fantasy! And women don't like that" he spewed the words like they were venom, half ashamed of being so dramatic but the fear was real. Henry was scared, he wanted love. He wanted a family of his own, and it seemed impossible, now more then ever.

"I want to meet someone who will take me as I am, for me and I just I'm giving up. I'm giving up on it I can feel it, almost forty and look, alone unmarried no kids-I have no one to share my life with, it hurts am I not good enough for that?"  He hung his head as he spoke the final words put loud. He felt so vain and full of himself when he said them out loud, his skin crawled.

But it was how he felt, being the muscular decent looking man he was didn't go with his personality. He was a geek and the woman who were drawn to him didn't want that. And the woman that shared his hobbies normally weren't confident enough to even speak to him. Society's views on acceptable couples had put Henry in no mans land.

"What about online dating?" His brother spoke up but Henry just grunted rolling his eyes frustrated.

"What? No I cant do that I'd be fucking swamped" he hissed in irritation frustrated at the mere suggestion of him trying to date online.

"Whoa hold your horses let me finish I mean come on Hen there's bound to be hundreds of shy sweet women on there, I mean girls that are into your hobbies and stuff aren't usually the ones out and about partying and stuff, so its more likely they will be online" his brother quickly explained before Henry could pop off on one and shut him down.

Henry opened his mouth and stopped himself. That was a good point. Many of the women he would click with weren't going to be in bars or fancy parties. They were normally shy and at home most of the time reading or playing games.

"I... You really think i could meet someone? Meet the one online?" He asked in a small voice warming to the idea. His sibling smiled and nodded enthusiastically.

"Yes little brother, your a down to earth guy, just make a profile and have a look, if you don't like what you see you can delete the profile" henry nodded slowly thinking it over. There'd be no harm if he failed well he'd be no worse off, a little disheartened but that's about it.

"Look write down a few things you want in your dream girl, have a pseudo name like fucking I don't know Hank! Or something and say your a runner on set or something" his brother spoke up quickly as Henry sat back and actually thought about it seriously. He was right, henry could tweak things and be careful about what he shared and if he did meet the one then she'd understand... He could explain the predicament he was in. That he just wanted someone who liked him for him. And he would only reveal himself to her if she was the one and he was sure she would understand. As long as he was himself and honest about everything else in his life then there was no harm... and if he used proper photos of himself just... half cropped out then? It wasn't catfishing? Because he was being himself just using the nickname his mother used to call him.

"O-okay so be myself but... Just tweak a few things? So they don't know its me?" He reiterated to his brother still trying to figure out the morality of this whole idea.

"Yes! No full on pictures, no photos of Kal either new photos henry not old, maybe of your eyes up or something? Girls love blue eyed boy- not your right that brown will give you away... you could even fuck em up with a behind the scenes character photo? I mean come on how many men use a superman photo for their profile these days?" He encouraged wanting more then anything to cheer up his little brother.

"I yeah... That could work ,thank you- I'm sorry I got so worked up it... Its just getting to me now" henry apologised but his brother shook his head and chuckled standing up to go back outside to the others that were all happily chatting in the garden.

"I know Hen, look just give it a go, you might be surprized... come on lets get back out there, after all you are the host~ you cant just run off and hide" henry grinned standing and following his brother. It was decided, he'd give online dating a go!

A week later Henry sat at the computer everything was ready, he'd taken some precise photos and had spent the last half hour writing a profile up. He had felt a little guilty about this... Was he lying? Technically it was him, he was going by Hank which was a nickname his parents gave him as a child, luckily this site didn't require a surname because honestly? He had no clue! To fend off some guilt he had thrown in a behind the scenes photo of himself as superman it wasn't much but it helped take the edge off. The other photos were cropped and there were a good few just so that the women knew he wasn't technically a catfish; he even did one with him covering half of his face with a piece of paper with Hank scrawled across it. At the time he felt silly but it helped with his anxiety over the whole thing.

He paused for a second eyeing the screen rereading the profile over and over trying to make sure it was alright and honest. And it was, he had explained a little about himself, his hobbies and interests and his job... Only brushing over he worked for the film and tv industry recently working for Netflix he hadn't exactly explained what he did but there was enough information.

With a deep breath he clicked the button his mouse hovered over going live with the profile. Now all he had to do was wait and hope he caught a good womans eye. Within moments a few profiles popped up, matches. He scanned them flicking through some of the profiles and felt his heart crack. They were all full of badly filtered photos and used slang that to be honest he didn't even understand. What was so hard about using plain English?

He growled growing frustrated clicking through what were clearly a bunch of wannabe sugar babies. Each profile had a main photo a little bit of info then a few more pictures added to them. He scanned each one quickly going through the motions judging each one. 'Too far away... Your clearly not even eighteen?... Oh you like dc? Really hate to break it to you but thor is not a dc character' Henry grunted as he bypassed what felt like hundreds of women each with their own 'duck face' selfie most advertising their Instagram pages some even ballsy enough to add their only fans pages.

'Wait a second who was that?' He paused and scrolled back up and eyed the image on screen. It was a face on photo a cute woman smiling uncomfortably. Unlike everyone else's there was no distorting blur or heavy editing, the only make up was in the form of eyeliner in a set of black slightly uneven cat eyes. A slightly skewed black flicks making a point of no editing on the photo.

She was a full figured woman with proper kissable round cheeks and a sweet nervous grin. Her eyes were what got him, they were kind and genuine he could see she was uneasy about the photo but she was beautiful. She lived about half hour away which wasn't to bad.

Henry clicked the profile and scrolled down she didn't smoke, drunk occasionally and had no children. She did however have a college education in animal care and ran a small business. Centred on dogs by the looks of it. He moved further down reading the profile.

Y/n, 30, business owner, e/c, 5'4, curvy

I'm shy so will take a while to warm up to you. A honest woman, sometimes to honest I don't seem to have a filter 🤗 I'm laid back and tend to be sarcastic and I love animals I'm a kc certified dog breeder as well as run a small successful business that caters to dogs. So if you are allergic or don't like dogs then leave now but thank you for clicking🙃

I spend most of my free time gaming or reading. I enjoy the fantasy genre and love dc and marvel (though I love dc just a tad more🤫)

I have one fur baby in the form of my lovely girl Amii who is a three year old malamute. Yes malamute not a husky or Akita so again if you don't like dogs or big dogs I'm not the girl for you.

I'm looking for someone to have fun and maybe build a life with. Covid has been tough being single and decided that it was about time I tried this whole online dating thing. If you want to chat pop me a message 🥰

I do not have a personal Instagram, snapchat or only fans! Stop asking for pictures!😠😠

Henry's face split into a huge grin. She seemed to good to be true. She was wholesome, successful in her own right and looked fun. She didn't seem to be full of kale and bullshit. Just genuine and? Henry couldn't put his finger on it but there was something drawing him to this woman.

True to her word there was no Instagram link, no only fans or snap chat or anything. He scrolled further seeing photos of her and the biggest fluffiest dog he had ever seen in his life. She was sitting down next to who he assumed was Amii her dog and he melted. Y/n looked happy and content, living her best life.

There was nothing that sent alarm bells ringing, no racey photos or 'Netflix and chill' innuendos. The profile was clean and genuine.  He was right the woman was a little chunky but extraordinarily beautiful. The curves suited her and made her look more... cheerful and he could tell she was strong aswell, you had to be to have a huge dog like that about you.

There were photos of her walking a large pack of dogs in the wood; that he recognised! They were the very same he took Kal to only ten minuets down the road, he even recognised the small logo of her company on the jacket she wore. He had seen dog walkers wearing the same jacket so he knew of her brand. I he remembered correctly the company offered dog walking, grooming and kennel facilities as well as offering Breeding services helping stud dogs and stuff. They also helped advertise registered breeders and took in rescues for rehoming. It was a brilliant little company that he had even used for Kal once or twice to get his teeth cleaned and nails clipped, because Kal was a bugger for his pedicures!

He moved further down seeing more photos of the woman a small section with the games and tv she liked. Witcher was in both the tv and games category aswell as peaky blinders, Vikings and a few other shows.

Henry paused as he saw the chat button. Should he? He but his lip twisting on the spot in he chair rocking from side to side. What harm is there? He could just send a message she looked like a fun loving woman, he shared the same interests and stuff... so why not?

His fingers hovered over the keys ready to type out the words. But he choked. His mind ran blank what does he say? Hi? I saw your profile? Does he ask for a date? What does he do?

He let his hands fall and growled. Then scanned over the side of the message bar seeing a few pre-typed responses.

'It's a match!' 'You look fun, lets chat' 'I like your profile picture'

He winced they all seemed... wrong? Somehow they were polite and all but it- they wasn't personal or anything just... not quite right. He looked down as Kal came padding over and slumped next to him resting his chin on his foot with a loud sigh. With that Henry had an idea typing away a little message and hitting send before he could really think.

You sighed typing away the latest wage slips and added up all the various overtime, you really needed some more staff on now that lockdown was coming to an end. Thankfully animal care was essential so you hadn't been hit too hard a few staff were on furlough as they were extreme high risk and shielding but you were going out of your way to make the premises covid safe. Luckily it wasn't too hard as much of the business was just a few staff and lots of dogs.

You frowned when a chat icon popped up in to corner of your screen. 'Hank?' You though trying to remember if you knew a Hank? Maybe a client or some old friend... but you honestly couldn't recall. You l saved your document and clicked the small icon bringing up a chat and frowned a you read the little message.

'I call my dog bear but he has nothing on Amii, Shes the fluffiest dog I've ever seen in my life she looks perfect for bear hugs😅'

'what the hell?' You cursed scrunching your nose up at the screen rereading the words. That's a bit random... you clicked his icon a small photo of half of his face then froze as a dating profile opened up. 'Oh... shit' you said seeing that your own profile you'd set up a few days ago out of curiosity had garnered the attention of the handsome blue eyed stranger. You swallowed biting you lip thoughts of finishing updating your records now gone as you scanned Hanks profile and a small smile crossed your face.

Hank, 37, works in the film industry. Blue eyes, 6ft, muscular.

Decided to finally try this online dating, unsure what to say other then I'm looking for a life partner. I like to think I'm funny and laid back. I'm fit and active but that doesn't mean you have to be, but maybe my lady could come for walks with me and my four legged son? I promise he's my best freind and a good boy.

My job is tough and I'm away for long periods of time, but when I'm home I like to play games and am into warcraft. I paint miniatures when I can. Fantasy and superheroes are a big part of my hobbies so if you don't like all things geek then I'm probably not for you.

But if they are? Then feel free to message me, I will reply when I can.

You read and re-read the profile And your hands hovered over your chicklet keyboard. Biting your lip, do you respond? He seemed sweet and real... if that made sense. You took a deep breath. What was the worst that could happen? Asking for a plane ticket? You decided to take a chance and typed back a reply hitting send whilst you had your nerve and then flushed.

"And they say fluffy dogs only lure in women~" You giggled to yourself  moving a hand over the huge fluffy girl beside you giving her pets whislt thinking of a reply.

[spideyhexx]

take a chance on me - b.b.

here's something I wrote for @buckyblues 4k writing challenge! I've been wanting to get back into writing, so here's my first go at it :)

using the song prompt "take a chance on me by abba." @edenslibrary

be sure to let me know what you think :) reblogs, likes and comments are appreciated 😊

bucky barnes x reader

summary: bucky has a crush on you. he's doubtful of himself, messes up, but turns it around.

WARNINGS: sfw. fluffy. some tiny tiny angst. bucky being self deprecating. huge hate of chekhov. bookstore owner!reader.

word count: 2.3k

Bucky replays his conversation with you a billion times within the couple of minutes it takes for him to walk from the quaint little book shop to his apartment.

After his favorite bookstore closed, Bucky took to finding a new one and stumbled upon the Murky Lime. He thought the name was strange, a little off putting, but as soon as he walked in, Bucky knew he was going to enjoy spending his afternoons there. It always smelled like hazelnut or vanilla, a scent he found so incredibly comforting that he bought a hazelnut scented candle for his home. Although it was a small shop, the shelves were loaded with books and he was able to find a hidden corner to sit down and read for a couple of hours, unbothered.

Not to mention the pretty girl that worked at the main desk and seemed to be the owner. You were there every afternoon that Bucky stopped by. He noticed how you would paint your nails when there weren’t as many customers. How kind your words were to anyone who asked for help. It took him a couple of weeks to work up the courage to ask you to help him find a book, even though he knew exactly where it was.

Bucky remembers when he complimented your bracelet and you smiled, stuttering out a thank you. The first time he saw you nervous. It gave him hope that maybe you were into him, but Bucky pushed away those thoughts as quickly as they came.

He couldn’t fathom how someone would truly want to be with him. Besides, he had enough on his plate, what with helping Sam on whatever mission he called him on and dealing with the occasional nightmare that haunted his mind.

That’s why he keeps on replaying the conversation. And cursing at himself for being so stupid.

…

“Hey Bucky!” Your words were cheerful, causing heat to rise up on his cheeks. You loved how a simple greeting seemed to get him all flustered. He’s still not used to even hearing his name come from your lips.

“How’re you doing, doll?” He lets the endearment slip, hoping he’d get to see you smile, and you do, before turning away and pointing at a box.

“I’m alright! And if you don’t mind, and you can totally say no, but I got a whole new set of Chekhov plays and I need to bring them to the play section, which is the furthest point from here and the box is a bit too heavy and I was going to make multiple trips but now you’re here and-”

“Of course I’ll help,” Bucky responded, chuckling at your babbling. You sighed, secretly hating your rambling habit, but it was hard not to when a handsome man was standing in front of you.

“I thought you hated Chekhov?” Bucky asked, picking up the box and following you to the play section.

“Oh I do, but a customer has been calling in for the last three weeks, asking if we have Chekhov and I thought I should finally put my Chekhov hating ass aside to appease the people who adore him,” you told him.

You couldn’t remember when you told Bucky you hated Chekhov, but you did not necessarily need to say it for someone to understand your distaste for the author.

“Or they could’ve just gone to a different bookstore,” Bucky mumbled, but you heard and let out a laugh. He put the box down and leaned against the opposite book shelf, hoping you would continue talking to him as you put the books away.

“So, I had another question for you,” you said, sneaking one glance at him before looking away.

“Go for it.”

“I was wondering if you wanted to go out sometime? Not sure where but we could just go get some coffee? Or go out to dinner?”

This was it, the penultimate moment Bucky had been dreaming about ever since he laid eyes on you. Yet his mouth began speaking before he could really take it in.

“Um, no,” he said, immediately widening his eyes at your expression. Your mouth dropped to say something, but you weren’t sure what to even say.

“I mean, I don’t know. I don’t think I can, right now, maybe?” You raised an eyebrow at him and smiled softly.

“It’s okay to say no, Bucky.”

“I know that, I know. I think I’m just not ready right now,” he said, his voice quieter as he said the last part. His brain was screaming at him to retract everything he had just said to you and to tell you he would go on a date, but Bucky could not do it. He already felt like he had failed and saw no point in trying.

“That’s okay. But...if you ever change your mind, let me know, I’d still be down,” you said.

You were slightly disappointed, but understood his reasoning even if he didn't give you an exact one.

Ever since he first came to your shop, you knew exactly who the tall, blue eyed man was. It was hard trying to comprehend everything James Bucky Barnes had gone through. You knew asking him out might’ve been a big step from having occasional small talk. A small part of you hoped he would take a chance on you someday.

...

Bucky throws his jacket haphazardly onto the couch as soon as he gets home, not caring that it ends up falling to the floor. He lights the candle on the kitchen counter and collapses onto the couch face first, letting out the sigh that was building up in him ever since he left the Murky Lime.

How could he do that? Was he actually not ready to date? He told himself he wasn’t, that’s why he felt like he had to say no to your date. But god, does Bucky want to go out with you and hold your hand and kiss your cheek. He hasn’t felt this feeling in a long while.

All the therapy sessions with Dr. Raynor flood his mind. The ones where she encouraged him to try dating and finding new friends but he brushed it off, feeling like he was unworthy of it. How could a sweet girl like you see something in him, he simply did not understand it. But you liked him enough to ask him on a date and he fucking said no.

Bucky sends Sam a quick text that’s more like an entire paragraph explaining the situation and what he should do. He throws his phone to the other side of the couch and drops his head into his hands. His phone pings a few seconds later and Bucky scrambles to grab it.

I think you’re just afraid of dating buck. You’re definitely ready, you’ve done so much work to be yourself again and I’ve seen that in you. If you like her AND she mentioned still going out if you changed your mind??? Go get her, man. Take the chance. If it doesn’t work out and you really aren’t ready, then that’s okay too. But it’s clearly eating you up that you said no, so just go to her.

...

You button up your coat and stuff your phone into your pocket, straining your head to the side to double check the time. Closing the store required a particular routine that you perfected, but you did not expect to see Bucky’s face at the front door. He did not notice you looking at him and you see the hesitation in his hands before he opens the door.

“Hey,” he says, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets.

“Hello again.” Bucky gives you a stiff grin and rocks on his feet for a few moments. The silence is deafening and it’s just about too awkward for you to handle.

“Is there uh..something you want?” He glances up and your eyes lock with his pretty blue eyes. You feel like you could gaze into them all day.

“Yeah, if you’re still up for it, I would like to go on that date with you. I’ve been afraid to put myself out there, but you’re so kind and beautiful..” his words trail off and he’s distracted for a moment at how you’re biting your lip nervously.

“I wanted to take a chance, so yes, let’s go on a date.”

“Do you wanna go now?” Bucky raises his brow and nods. You run to the back door to make sure it’s locked. When you come back, you see that Bucky took it upon himself to turn a few of the lights off and he hands you your purse.

“What a gentleman, huh?” He blushes and moves to open the door for you. You lock it up and turn to him.

“Does a walk in the park sound like a good idea?”

“Perfect.”

Since it was almost evening time, the park was not as busy. Bucky prefers it that way, and you do too. He’s so close to you, you can smell the little bit of cologne he must’ve put on. You want to tease him for it but decide not to. Instead, you purposely brush your hand against his own and Bucky immediately takes your hand in his.

“Maybe after this we could get dinner,” Bucky suggests.

“That would be nice. You can pick where.” Bucky thinks for a moment before responding.

“There’s this diner..a couple of blocks from your shop actually. It was there back in….you know.” Now that he’s thinking about it, he wasn’t sure you knew. He doesn’t wear gloves to hide his vibranium arm anymore and it’s an easy google search but you never showed any indication you knew about his past.

“I know about your past, Bucky. I won’t ask anything about it if-”

“No, it’s okay. I can talk about it.”

You nod. You're not planning to scour his brain about the haunting details of his life as the Winter Soldier, but you were curious about his life before that.

“Does it look the same as it did back then? The diner, I mean.”

“For the most part. There’s some newer technology in there and updated furniture but the style is all the same. It’s kind of nice to go somewhere familiar.”

The two of you walk over to an empty bench and take a seat. Your hands are still intertwined, resting on Bucky’s thigh.

“One more question about the 30s and 40s and then we can head on over to the diner,” you say, making Bucky laugh and nod his head at you to continue.

“How were dates back then? Like would you do the same thing we’re doing now or was there anything different?”

“It’s mostly the same,” he tells you. Bucky looks down at your hand, admiring how you rub your thumb against his hand.

“But there were these dances. I haven’t seen anything like them nowadays.”

“I think the closest thing we have to that is nightclubs. I’m gonna assume that is not your scene,” you say, giggling at his disgusted expression.

“It isn’t. I like forties music. I tried to listen to newer stuff and it’s not all terrible, but still not my favorite. I don’t think anyone in a nightclub will play Tommy Dorsey or Dinah Shore.” You ponder that for a moment as he turns to observe what else is going on in the park.

Quickly, you take out your phone.

“What are you doing?” All you do is smile at him, setting your phone down on the bench and standing up in front of him. He raises an eyebrow suspiciously as you hold your hand out.

“Mr. Barnes, can I have this dance?” Bucky takes a look around. There were a few people around who seemed to not take notice of the music coming from your phone.

“Gladly,” he accepted, taking your hand. Bucky placed one hand on your hip and pulled you in closer to him.

“I must admit, I know this was my idea, but I don’t know how to dance,” you whisper to him. Bucky shakes his head, smiling so wide he thought his mouth would start hurting. He slowly moves his feet side to side.

“Just this is fine,” he mutters. He tries not to take his eyes off yours, but you’re so close and Bucky can’t help but look at your lips, slightly parted and letting out deep breaths. He moves your hand rest on his shoulder, both of his own now holding your hips.

You trail your fingers from his shoulder to behind his neck, clasping your hands there.

“Thank you for this,” Bucky says and he hums along to the song playing, ‘Be Careful, It’s My Heart’ by Frank Sinatra. You smile at it, so he keeps humming. Bucky leans his forehead against yours.

“I know it’s not perfect-”

“Doesn’t matter. It’s with you. And this is...it’s nice.” You feel like your heart is going to burst. His eyes keep flitting down to your lips and Bucky leans in.

As his lips ghost against yours, you move your head, so he ends up kissing your cheek. He pulls back, a confused look on his face.

“Save that for the end of the date, honey,” you tease, leaning up to kiss his cheek. You linger your lips against his skin before moving away from him and his scoff turns into a laugh.

“I’m holding you to that,” he says, biting the inside of his cheek.

“I hope you do” you mumble and Bucky pulls you in close to him, making you squeal. He twirls you and brings you back into his arms, his lips touching the top of your ear.

“Let’s go get some dinner now.” You nod and grab your phone, opting to let the music keep playing. Bucky doesn’t hesitate from telling you random music facts about the artists as you make your way to the diner.

And as you ramble on about your own favorite singer, Bucky thanks the heavens that he took a chance on you and that it was going better than he ever imagined.

[thran-duils]

And Those I Can’t Charm, I Can Kill (P.3)

Title: And Those I Can’t Charm, I Can Kill (Part Three) Summary: Fem!Reader x Mafia!Tony Stark. Too many fringe gangs were making ties and your father noticed. He reached out to the Stark mob for an alliance, offering up a piece of his territory at first. When Stark told him he had enough land, your father offered up the next best thing: you. He knew Stark needed a wife and what better way to solidify a relationship between the two mafia families? You were not naïve, you knew the life and you were trained with guns and negotiations. Your father had made sure of that. The two of you had seen each other on multiple occasions at mafia get togethers and knew of each other. Stark accepted the transaction but little did he know he was going to get a little hellion handed over to him that would not kiss the ground he walked on. He would grow to love it too. Words: 2,559 Warnings (more WILL be added, I am sure): Eventual smut, power dynamics, sexism, smut, public sex, fingering, dom/sub powerplay, kidnapping, violence, death, knife kink, gun kink, angst with a happy ending Author’s Note: I’ve been listening to this song on repeat for AN HOUR as I’ve been writing this. What a club song.

Part Two || Part Four || Masterpost mobile || Fanfic masterpost

A handful of days later, you were following a bouncer through a crowded club. You and your friends had gone out to dinner and Tony had told you on the phone to come here after dinner. It was Natasha’s birthday, and you were supposed to be there to celebrate it with them. He had granted you permission to bring some of your friends. You were unsure if it was just him being nice or if he wanted to know who your friends were for a better read on you. Perhaps it was both.

“This is nice!” One of your friends said in your ear as the group of you were let into the roped off VIP area.

The plush, white seats of the multiple long booths were glimmering in the neon lights and your eyes were drawn to the sectioned video screen, watching the underwater animation on the different screens. Some people were already here, but the only one you recognized was Bucky. He was sitting with a couple of other men, and he gave you a little wave. You acknowledged him in return and noticed he took his phone out. There was a large chance he was texting Tony to let him know that you were there. Keeping tabs still and the thought of it made you scowl.

Even more so when you knew Tony was not there yet. If he wanted you here so bad, where was he? You could have gone to a bar after dinner for a while rather than just coming straight here like he requested. He had been on a business trip the last couple of days, and you were not close to Natasha. It was all about appearances for him. Appear happy. Appear like a power couple. You had acted your part well the other day in the restaurant and he had been satisfied with that. You had felt a flutter of pride seeing how he smiled at you, how impressed he had been at how you handled yourself. Like he saw some worth in you other than a trophy wife.

“Where are the drinks?” Your friend asked, interrupting your thoughts, and you snorted.

“My thoughts exactly.”

<><><>

Tony walked into the VIP section, followed by Rhodey and Bruce. His eyes were running over the people in there, some of them from his crew and the others, Y/N’s friends. He quickly realized Y/N was nowhere in sight and he sighed, annoyance bubbling in his chest. He had specifically told her to come here after they finished dinner. It was after 10:30pm; there was no way she was still eating dinner.

He had been in Atlanta the last couple of days and had just gotten back home mere hours beforehand.

Donning a mask of contentment, he walked over to the table where Natasha was sitting with Clint. He held out the bag he was holding, and Natasha waved him off.

“You did not need to buy me anything. You already provided this amazing space to celebrate me.”

“Take it or I’ll make you open it,” he half teased.

She kissed his cheek and he smiled in response, handing the bag off to her.

Standing straight again, his eyes landed on the ladies in the booth. Bucky was nowhere in sight, so he could not ask him, so he walked over to the women. They eyed him, some looking at him with curiosity, others with arousal.

“Ladies,” he greeted.

“Mr. Stark?” one of them ventured.

He flashed a smile, “Guilty. Can any of you tell me where my lovely wife is? Did she leave?”

“She’s dancing!” The woman closest to him answered over the music.

Tony exhaled, “Right. Okay. Thank you.”

“Thank you for inviting us!” the first girl said and he nodded.

“Anything to make Y/N feel more comfortable.”

<><><>

Near the railing, Bucky had already realized himself Y/N was not upstairs with the group when he noticed Tony arrived, so he was putting eyes on the crowd outside the VIP section where he had a better view of the dance floor. He was hoping to get an eye on her before Tony did in case anything was less than savory. She had left the section awhile ago and had not come back. In his drunk haze, he had not been paying close enough attention to the amount of time. Stupid stupid stupid. She was a target as much as Tony now, probably even more so because she could be held for ransom as collateral. He should have been paying more attention. He was not her body guard though; that had been Erick. And he had followed her down.

“Christ,” Bucky said to himself as he spotted Y/N near the bar.

“What?” Bruce asked him, his hand coming to rest on the railing as he peered over the crowd.

Bucky startled at Bruce’s voice but recovered quickly. “Where’s Tony?”

“Right here,” Tony answered from behind him. Bucky swallowed sharply before turning his head. “Where’s Y/N? Her friends said she was dancing.” He joined them at the railing. “Has she been drinking a lot?”

“They had a couple shots when she was up here. She left about twenty minutes ago to go downstairs. Erick went with her,” Bucky informed him. He saw Erick was off to the side though, not interfering with the scene in front of him. “She’s by the bar… with that guy.”

<><><>

The man’s hand slipped up your skirt and you stiffened.

Trying to pull away you turned around to face him. Taking a step back you kept dancing but carved out some space for yourself. The guy looked amused by the action and his hands were pawing at your hips again, yanking you close again. His hands slipped back, gripping at your ass.

“Okay,” you forced out a laugh, hands coming to his arms. “Let’s keep it friendly.”

“I’m being perfectly friendly,” he answered, refusing to let you get away.

Attempting to pull away, you said, “Friendly as in PG. No hands up the skirts.”

The guy chuckled, trying to pull you back to him. “Sweetheart, with legs like that, can you blame me for trying to touch you?”

“Yes, I can,” you told him, pulling away with more force this time. “We’re dancing, not dry humping.”

“Is there a difference?” he asked, still all smiles but you could see the tight lines at his eyes. The smile was becoming more forced. He was getting impatient. He was on you again, hands coming to your sides.

“I’m married. There’s a big—” you started to say before you were suddenly jerked away from the guy and a figure came in between the two of you.

It took you a few moments to register it was your husband. His back was to you but you could sense he was enraged.

“The fuck is your problem?” the guy shouted at Tony above the music.

“My problem is you’re touching my wife!”

The guy’s eyes shot to you, where you were standing behind Tony. He tried to brush of the awkwardness by crassly laughing, “Maybe you should tell your ‘wife’ to not be such a slut and guys like me wouldn’t put their hands on her!”

Tony’s fist collided with his center, right below the rib cage. The guy’s eyes bulged, gasping for air. Tony socked him again in the same spot with precision, causing his knees to buckle. Tony’s closed fist came down hard across his cheek, whiplashing the guy’s head and knocking him completely to the ground. The crowd had parted, and it was just the pair of them in the small circle, the music still bumping. The guy had not even stood a chance.

He turned on you now and your eyes were wide, shocked he had just beaten the crap out of someone in front of everyone.

“You. Me. Upstairs,” Tony ordered loudly to you, his hand clamping down around your arm.

“They’re gonna call the cops!” you gasped.

“They shouldn’t. I own the place,” Tony responded gruffly, his hand tight around your arm as he dragged you away.

When had he taken over? This place used to be Balthazar’s. Erick was there suddenly, and he was already pulling the guy to his feet. He told Tony he had it and Tony barely registered that he had heard him. You felt eyes on the pair of you as he moved through the crowd that parted easily for him at first but the further you got from the scene, it was a normal inebriated crowd dancing their lives away.

Tony was pulling you up the stairs and turned you away from where the VIP section was on the other end of the upper floor.

“What are you doing? Where are we going?” you demanded.

He did not answer you and took you down the hall that was marked Exit. He held up his watch to the door and it unlocked, and he pulled you inside. There were a couple of men sitting on the couches inside the room – you guessed it was the manager’s office.

“Get out!” Tony barked at them, and they scrambled to do what he said as quickly as possible.

As the door locked close again, Tony whipped you around him and let go of your arm in a fluid motion. His nostrils flared, his eyes wide with his anger. He was visibly shaking when he snarled, “How dare you disrespect me like that! Not even just in public but in my own fucking club!”

Just as enraged at being handled like you had been, you shouted back, “I didn’t ask him to touch me like that, Tony! I was trying to get away from him! Or were you too wrapped up in your own damn ego to notice that?”

Tony snorted, “You didn’t have to ask him if you were already dancing on your own! Seems to me you were looking for trouble! You should have stayed upstairs!”

“Yeah well, good thing you were there! I apparently need a handler!”

Tony was on you, hovering. “I’m glad you recognize that because you drive me insane!”

You shoved him and his eyes were wild, angry you had done it. Well, fucking good! He was blaming you for something you had not done, and he did not need to be so goddamn close. You did it again when he still didn’t give you space.

“I drive you insane?” you demanded.

“Immensely!”

“Right back at you!” you retorted. “Maybe you shouldn’t accuse me of things I haven’t done! You did the right thing taking me away, but your anger is completely misdirected! I wasn’t trying to disrespect you! I wanted to just dance! And then some guy comes and lays hands all over me! I told him I was married and he didn’t care! That was the problem! Not me wanting to dance! Redirect your anger, you pompous asshole!”

Tony’s hand came up to lazily point at his chest, sarcasm dripping, “Oh, I’m an asshole?”

“Did I stutter?”

“According to you, I just saved you from an uncomfortable situation!”

“Do you want me to throw you a fucking parade for acting like a decent human being who saw someone in trouble and came to the rescue?”

“You’re so goddamn overdramatic!”

“Overdramatic?”

“Did I stutter?” Tony spat back.

Your chests heaving from your passion, the anger thrumming, the two of you stared daggers through the other. The music was muffled by the door, only the bass thumping.

The air was tight.

Tony’s lips parted ever so slightly, and your eyes fell to the movement for a brief second before meeting his gaze again.

Too tight. It was spilling over.

You threw hands at him but in a different type of aggressiveness. Your fingers curled into his shirt, yanking him to you instead of away. Your lips crashed together, and his arms found their home around you. Your back hit the wall and he was grinding his pelvis into you, both of you gasping for brief air in between passionate kisses. His hands ruched your dress up over your hips and he quickly came to grip at your ass as he groaned into your kiss.

“Unzip me,” you gasped and he did so without any more direction, shoving the dress down your body, leaving you in your bra and thong.

Tony was breathing erratic, watching you hungrily.

“Lose them,” you told him, meaning his jeans, tugging at them, and he caught the gist.

The two of you moved in tandem, shredding clothing left and right until you found yourselves up against the couch, the back of Tony’s calves hitting it first. Climbing up and straddling him, you dipped down, holding his jaw as you kissed him with fervor. Tony’s tongue slipped past your lips, swirling around you own. You moaned into his mouth, grinding your hips and he responded in like.

His hands were gripping at the base of your ass, pulling you closer, forcing your pussy to brush against him harder.

You pulled away and he instinctively followed, his lips still pursed. You smiled at the sight, and he noticed, expression falling if only for a moment. You guided him to your entrance and you sunk slowly. His fingers flexed, his breath catching.

“God, you’re drenched,” he murmured, his cock fitting inside, brushing every nerve. “You’ve been such a goddamn tease.”

“A tease?” you asked, sinking completely and he groaned loudly, fully seated inside. “Maybe I was waiting for you to prove yourself! Apparently you can handle me.” You pulled back up, only his head buried in your folds to tease him. “What a coincidence.”

Tony responded with digging his fingers into your thighs and he thrusted hard.

Nipping at his nose, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders.

“Stop stalling,” he growled. He was impatient.

He had been waiting for this for so long, you could gather that. If what your friend had overheard at the wedding was any indication of that. Well, you were going to let him have it.

You were bouncing, your thighs slapping against his. You were falling into the complete and pure pleasure. It was different with him; he was yours, you were his. You controlled the movements and he let you. He was so goddamn attractive and you felt the emotion overwhelming you that you were really married to this man. You needed to stake your claim and it only made you ride harder.

Tony held you close, whispering about how beautiful you were and how lucky he was. Bite marks were left along the top of your breasts, his tongue swirling around your nipples and sucking in. He was worshiping you, completely lost.

And when he gripped you tightly, you gasped when you felt his cum coating, finishing deep. His hand came down, almost slapping, and his thumb found your clit between your bodies. He was rubbing with precision, encouraging you in soft tones.

“C’mon, baby.”

He had you tumbling and him still fully seated inside, the two of you shared in a moan as you clenched.

You grinded your hips once more, enjoying the feeling of him inside. The intimacy was what had been missing, the two of you holding out on the other, too preoccupied with being shielded. This felt good and you hoped it was not a fluke.

~~~

Marvel tags: @coconutqueen21​ @undecidedsworld​ @holl2712​​ @agustdowney​  @biiskuitx​​ @buttercupfangirl​​

Fic tags: @patheticallysentimental​

[eternally-writing]

tour troubles | jjk

genre: fluff, angst

rating: G (no swearing or sexual content)

pairing: Jungkook x reader

theme: idol!au, boyfriend!au, one-shot

word count: 1.8k

warnings: none

Synopsis: When surprising your boyfriend Jungkook on tour doesn’t quite go as you planned, it’s up to you now to help cheer him up.

banner by me!

--♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡--

After a grueling 6 months apart,  you were more than happy to be in MetLife Stadium watching your boyfriend live out his dreams on stage. The Map of the Soul Tour was no joke; Jungkook was practicing all day and performing all night, and combined with your final exam season passing by it left little time for you to talk to each other.

Finally wrapping up the school year, you got in touch with Jimin to see if he could help you plan a surprise visit for Jungkook on one of their final tour stops.

All of the members had become like family to you, but it's no secret that aside from Jungkook you are closest with Jimin. He was like the older brother you never had, and you always ran to him whenever you needed relationship advice or a good hug.

As you watched Jungkook on stage you noticed his smile falter sometimes as he would be slightly out of position or dance off beat. You could only pick this out because you had spent hours in the practice room dancing with Jungkook. 

You and Jungkook had come together because of your shared love for dance. He had first asked you out inside a very sweaty-scented Big Hit practice room, almost half of your dates ended with some form of dancing, and whenever one of you was frustrated you could always find the other teary-eyed, lying on the marley floor of a dance studio. You had always been there to whisper words of encouragement in his ear when he was feeling down, and you wished nothing more than for her voice to reach the stage at the moment.

Soon enough, the concert came to an end and you were flashing her pass to the backstage security guard to get to see the boys. Despite your  uneasy feeling watching the concert, you couldn't ease the butterflies in your stomach at seeing your boyfriend for the first time in months.

Ever since you had planned this, you spent your nights imagining exactly how Jungkook would react: whether he would hug and kiss you first, stay frozen on the spot in shock, or start crying right away. 

As you stepped into the Big Hit dressing room, you were instantly greeted with several smiling faces. 

I didn't take you long to do a head count and realize that there were only 6  boys standing in front of you, and that your boyfriend was nowhere to be found. 

Making eye contact with Jimin, you saw the softness in his eyes as he motioned for you to come closer so he could explain. 

“He’s not feeling well Y/N, and none of us can get him to talk about it. We’re so worried. I swear I’ve only gotten like 2 words out of him tonight, and I even tried to make a nutella sandwich for him to cheer him up. I’m sorry this isn’t what you had planned, but can you talk to him please? For us?” 

You took a deep breath before pulling back the curtain divider in the dressing room. Your nerves catching up to you, you considered just turning around and telling the boys you would surprise him at their next concert instead. 

You had dealt with Jungkook being troubled and frustrated more times than you could count, but you were worried you had lost her touch after being apart from him for months. 

Your mind also flew the other way. How many times has he felt like this after a concert and never told you? When he said "It was fun I'm just really tired now" after every concert was he truly feeling like this? 

With that, you pushed forward because you knew that you had to be there to support Jungkook today, even if you couldn't be there for all the other times. 

The sight that greeted you behind the curtain was not a pretty one. 

Jungkook was staring blankly at the monitor in front of him, dark fringes of his hair matted against his sweaty forehead, tour hoodie zipped up completely with the hood on, and worst of all, his eyes were clearly puffy and swollen, with tinges of red coming through from underneath his makeup. 

Jungkook barely even glanced your way as you sat down an ample distance away from Jungkook on the couch. It was clear from his lack of surprise at your appearance that one of the boys (probably Jimin) had probably told him about your surprise visit earlier in an effort to cheer him up after the concert, but even that could not get him out of this slump.

 Of all the scenarios you came up with for how Jungkook would react to your surprise, somehow this one never crossed your mind. 

You turned your focus to where Jungkook was staring - a TV monitor replaying video footage from tonight's concert. You watched as his eyebrows stayed furrowed as he glared disapprovingly at himself for making even the smallest of mistakes in the video, almost wincing as the TV monitor continued to play the footage.

"Do you want me to help point out things in the video?"

Jungkook didn’t even move a muscle.

You took the silence as a yes, and pulled a pen and the closest thing you could find to paper, a napkin, out of your purse to write on. 

Working as a dance teacher had taught you more than a couple tricks about how to give constructive feedback, and you were a firm believer in the "give 2 compliments and then 1 thing to work on" approach. However, you knew the issue with Jungkook wasn't that he was truly bad at dancing, but rather that he was way too hard on himself for the smallest details that the audience wouldn't even notice - so she threw in a few more compliments than usual. Unsure of how Jungkook would react to seeing the list, you still threw some of those very nit-picky details on there, knowing that if he was still frustrated he would throw the list out all together if he thought you were just coddling him. 

And so you both sat together in front of that grainy TV monitor, in complete silence aside from the sound of your pen scratching against the napkin.

June 10, 2020 MOTS:7 Tour Feedback Report for Jeon Jungkook ( by Y/N)

- match angle of arm placement in Black Swan Opening Choreo

- footwork on DNA ending choreo could be cleaned up 

- the ARMY at the corner of the screen during Euphoria had the biggest smile when you looked at her. I think she’s gonna remember that moment for the rest of her life. 

-  I like the way you wink at the camera during So What! Gave me butterflies babe. 

- could add more energy into the last Fake love chorus ( hot bod btw!!)

And the list kept going on and on as you diligently focused on the screen and writing notes, taking occasional glances at your silent boyfriend.

Upon glancing over your shoulder and seeing your list, Jungkook smiled at your thoughtful and sweet comments. 

All of sudden, a wave of consciousness and realization washed over him. 

He finally has the girl he loves in front of him again after months apart, and instead of cherishing his limited time with you he was spending it watching himself dance, which is what he had already spent the last 9 years of his life doing. Most of all, you never let your smile falter once in front of him, even though he knew you may be upset with his response to your surprise, and you went along with whatever he wanted to do - even if that meant watching a very very low-quality video of his performances on a loop. 

Grabbing the napkin gently out of her hands and placing it on the table, Jungkook cupped your face and looked gently into your eyes. 

"Thank you",  he said softly, as if not wanting to startle you with his sudden character change.

In your head there was absolutely no need for Jungkook to be thanking her for anything she was doing.  She knew dating an idol would have its challenges, and she made a promise to Jungkook that she would be by his side through it all, even if that included rewatching Euphoria on loop. 

It was now your turn to sigh. 

“There’s nothing to thank me for babe, it’s just me. I wanna be here for you when you’re like this - I didn’t just date you so I could be there to celebrate your Billboard #1s and daesang sweeps, I’m here for these moments too.”

Jungkook further eliminated the space between you both by wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest. In that moment he realized that maybe all he needed was you. That all these hurdles he had been facing alone would have been much easier if he had just let you in on his problems.

“I just feel bad Y/N, I haven’t even seen you for months and the first time I see you I’m like this? I’m sorry.”

The gears started turning in your head. Batting your eyes overdramatically at your boyfriend, you smiled. 

“Okay how about we make a deal then babe?”

Jungkook looked at you curiously and let you carry on. 

“From now on, every time you feel like this you come to me okay? We can figure this out together, but I can’t help you if you don’t let me in,” you expressed, grabbing his hands in yours.

“Also, if you felt like making it up to me you could buy me some ice cream? It’s not the same when I eat it without you,” you joked.

Jungkook’s melodic laugh vibrated through the room. 

“Just ice cream? You’re selling yourself short babe. I’d buy the whole world for you, my love.”

--♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡-- 

As you emerged from behind the curtained section of the dressing room, hand in hand with a smiley Jungkook ( a stark comparison from how he was a mere hour early), you were greeted with Jimin jumping up and cheering loudly upon seeing the maknae.

Unable to contain his excitement, Jimin ran towards the two of you, chiming “you did it Y/N!! You brought back our maknae!”  

“Good to see you smiling, Jungkookie,”  beamed Jimin as he stepped forward to ruffle Jungkook’s hair. 

Jungkook chuckled and looked up at his hyungs. 

“I think I owe you all some ice cream. Ready to go? It’ll be treat.”

If his hyungs weren’t already excited to see Jungkook feeling like himself, now they were ecstatic. And you definitely felt the same way as well. ♡

--♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡-- 

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- Emily