#a cockroach on my foot

[sherlock-is-ace]

Fun new development in my house being a zoo apparently... A fucking tiny ass lizard just turned up inside the house, in my room, above my bed 🙃 i fucking hate it here and i want to burn the house down

[littlenimart]

teenage ‘jimas sketch I found and put a little more love into tonight

[youremyonlyhope]

I legit just walked past a StarKid just blocks away from my house.

[catnamedoggy]

dawg i got the worst Christmas partner in the entire world 😭😭😭😭

[aria0fgold]

I DID IT AGAIN, yaknow what? I'm getting up. No more closing my eyes and drifting off to dreamland.

[driftingballoons]

I don’t think I have that phobia lol

[ulalalune]

Just suffered horrible things today. NOT a good day AT ALL...

[b1oodyvalentine]

i see you for all that you are, what a pathetic disgusting man you are, and i love you just the same

[sherlock-is-ace]

we have fucking mice again 😓 i fucking hate living in this disgusting town full of factories, which they don't clean well (not food related so it's fine lol) and disgusting neighbors who don't clean their house or take care of their animals, and the neighbors on the other side who abandon their house for months at a time...

We spend so much time cleaning and keeping the lawn nice and trimmed, our only fault is the fact that how our house was built, we have space between the roof and a few walls where these fucking mice can hide... We saw 4 today (4 that we could count cause they were out at the same time) 😓 at least they're outside (for now)

[cuntyji]

ib by toji's version of this post by @reignpage, no reader gender specified - can be read as male/female/gn whatever!!!! toji & reader are in an established relationship [of your choice - dating/marrried].

“fucccckkk, yeah—right there. harder. deeper, c’mon baby, don’t be shy. put y'er whole weight into it.”

“jesus fucking christ, could you two keep it down?” gojo groaned, dramatically pressing a pillow over his face as yet another loud, guttural moan echoed through the walls. megumi, sitting cross-legged on the couch, shot him a disgusted glance. “can you not involve jesus in this?”

"yeah, it’s already bad enough we can hear it, don’t make it worse with religious guilt," nobara added, stuffing popcorn into her mouth. yuuji, however, looked oddly concerned. “but… doesn’t he sound like he’s in pain?”

a particularly loud moan rattled the walls.

megumi pinched the bridge of his nose. “i hate that you’re making me say this, but maybe that’s how he likes it.”

gojo shot up from his seat. “that’s it! i’m putting an end to this.”

“sensei, for the love of god, don’t—”

but gojo was already marching toward the room, righteous fury in his steps. he didn’t just suffer through one interrupted scene of legally blonde—oh no, this had been going on for the entire movie, and he was at his limit.

with zero hesitation, he slammed open the door.

“okay, first of all—what the actual fu—”

his words died in his throat. because instead of whatever soul-scarring image he had prepared himself for, he found you walking on toji’s back.

literally.

you had one foot pressing into his shoulder blade, the other digging into his lower spine, your arms outstretched for balance.

toji, lying face down on the futon, groaned as you applied more pressure. “ah—fuck, yeaahhhh, right there.”

gojo blinked once.

twice.

thrice.

“...what the hell am i looking at.”

you turned your head lazily. “a deep tissue massage?”

toji, still lying flat on his stomach, grunts. “the fuck d'ya want?”

gojo raises a shaky hand. “i—i don’t know what’s worse. the fact that i thought you were getting absolutely railed into next week, or the fact that i thought you were the one getting railed into next week.”

your eye twitches. “i’m giving him a massage.”

“is that what you kids are calling it nowadays?”

“oh my god—”

“so you admit this is weird,” gojo snaps, pointing aggressively. “like, i came here to tell you to shut the fuck up, ‘cause i can’t hear reese witherspoon’s iconic ‘what, like it’s hard?’ line over your sex noises—”

“not sex noises,” you interrupt.

“—and what do i find? you stepping all over toji like a goddamn cockroach. i don’t know if i should be relieved or more disturbed.”

“ever had a slipped disc before, six eyes? feels like god’s punishing you for every bad thing you’ve ever done,” toji grumbled, his voice muffled against the futon. “this is the closest i’ve gotten to enlightenment.”

you pressed your heel into a particularly stiff knot. toji let out an obscene moan.

gojo recoiled like he’d been physically struck.

“nope. nope.” he turned on his heel, immediately exiting the room. “i don’t know if this is better or worse than what i thought i’d see, but i’m not sticking around to find out. i think i’d rather have walked in on you two fucking.”

yuuji, megumi, and nobara watched as he returned to the couch, sat down in complete silence, and resumed watching legally blonde.

“…so?” nobara asked, nudging him.

gojo simply popped a piece of popcorn into his mouth and said, deadpan, “megumi was right. he likes it rough.”

[yazzwrites6962]

Sticky Situation ♡ Denji

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Denji x Fem!Virgin!Reader ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Author's Note: UNEDITED! Denji is absolutely aged up in this depiction. In no way should he be interpreted as a minor, even if it doesn't exactly follow the original work. I do not own any characters/images!

Genre: Smut and fluff

Summary: Y/N is a top tier devil hunter, earning her much respect and praise among others. However, when she catches herself in an embarrassing situation, she desperately pleads for Denji to help and not tell anyone. He wants something in return.

Word Count: 4456

Warnings: Sexual content, language, loss of virginity, penetration, Fem! oral receiving, biting, masochism, blood, slight degradation, praise, hair pulling, spanking, mirror sex, choking, sort of "caught".

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

It was irritating enough that you had to deal with Denji and Power getting in your way all the time in the past couple weeks, but now you had to live with the idiots. You only really did it as a favor to Makima, one of your oldest friends.

"You'll be like a mentor. A stabilizing force to their chaos." You recall the night Makima tried to persuade you. "Besides, it will be good for you. You can't live life all on your lonesome. You should learn to make friends."

"I'm perfectly happy being all on my own for the rest of my life. Other people only slow me down." You can hazily remember Makima pouring you another shot. That was one of the only ways you could be convinced of anything: If you weren't sober. "I have you, what more could I need? Though... I guess if you really want me to do it, I will."

You never could have anticipated that your apartment would be destroyed during a battle with the Chaos devil. It seemed chaos followed you everywhere now that you were a glorified babysitter. The only reason the Chaos devil got away that day was because of Denji ruining your plans. You missed the days when you had your solitude and organized schedule. You had a certain way of doing everything, and he always managed to screw it up.

Now, while your place was being fixed, you were shoved into a cramped apartment with Aki, Denji, and Power. You didn't mind Aki so much. He seemed plenty capable and usually stayed away from you. It was Denji and Power you'd grown to hate. Still, you couldn't back out from your favor to Makima.

It was a warm Sunday, and for once, you had nothing much to do. You'd cleaned up the tiny space you called your own. Somehow, Aki managed to clean out a decently sized closet for you to stay in. You'd cleaned the kitchen as well. Aki, Denji, and Power were not home, and you relished the peace this brought. You couldn't care less about where they were.

No devils, no mess, no noise. What a dream. You opted to take a nice hot shower to relax your muscles. You slowly peel off your clothes, making your way to the bathroom. You turn on the shower, allowing the room to fill with steam. The mirrors fogged and you took your time bathing yourself, enjoying the rare comfort of your solitude.

You must've been in the shower for nearly an hour before you finally decided to get out, wrapping your damp body in a large white towel. You wipe the mirror, finding your bare face staring back at you, wet hair draping over your shoulders. That's when you feel something tickling your foot.

You look down, your heart stopping as you pray that what you're seeing is a hallucination. To your dismay, it's not. You shriek, kicking your foot and leaping onto the sink. You immediately douse your foot in soap, scrubbing it under the faucet while your eyes are locked on the little bug on the floor.

A cockroach. A cockroach was crawling on your foot. Disgusting. Of course, the apartment has cockroaches. Denji and power are the most disgusting people you've ever met. Can it fly? Dear god it better not be able to fly.

You're trapped in the bathroom, unable to leave out of fear of the cockroach. To think, you, who can defeat any foe and instill fear in others is terrified of a cockroach. As you're racking your brain for ideas, the bathroom door bursts open, you scream once again, fearing the cockroach will react to the sudden movement.

"What's going on?!" Denji shouts, standing right at the door. You're huff in frustration. Not only are you stuck with a cockroach, but he's home. He heard you scream. He's... staring right at your cleavage? What a pervert!

"Denji! What the fuck are you doing home?" You yell, trying to calm your nerves. You don't want to lose respect, especially not from him. You pull your towel in a little tighter, trying to cover as much of your body as possible.

"I got home like, fifteen minutes ago. Power and Aki are still out- Why are you on the sink?" He asks, his eyes searching the room before they land on the little brown creature on the floor. His gaze switches between you and the bug before a smirk grows on his face. "Miss Y/N... Are you scared of the cockroach?"

"No!" You practically scream this to the entire building. A deep blush washes over your cheeks as you shift your position ever so slightly. "What are you even doing?! Get out! Shut the door!" Denji does as you instruct, except he steps inside the room before shutting the door behind him.

"Then what are you doing on the sink?" He chuckled, approaching the little bug on the floor. He pinches it between his fingers, and you practically vomit in your mouth from this action. He holds it a little closer to you, and you sink into yourself, holding your breath. "You are scared!" He laughs, the bug writhing between his pointer and his thumb.

"S-Stop! Just get that thing out of here, you freak!" You shut your eyes, horrified by what you're seeing. "I'm not scared! It's just gross! Put it outside!" Denji's laughter continues, as he pulls back, putting some more distance between you and the cockroach.

"Wow. I never thought I'd see you so scared of something. It's kinda cute." He teases. "I'll make you a deal. I'll get rid of the bug, and I won't tell anyone about your fear," You inhale, feeling slightly more relieved. "But you've got to do something for me in return." Of course there's a catch.

"I don't make deals or compromises." You state sternly, pointing towards the door. "Get rid of it, Denji!" Rather than following your orders, he brings the bug closer to you, causing a shriek to slip from your lips.

"C'mon, Miss Y/N. Loosen up. I'm not asking much. Just a favor." A favor is what got you into this mess in the first place, but with the cockroach's legs wiggling right in front of your face, you don't have too much of a choice.

"Fine! Whatever! Just get it out of here!" With that, Denji steps back, anticlimactically tossing the bug into the toilet and flushing it away just as quickly as it came. He makes his way back to the sink, a proud grin on his face. "Wash your fucking hands you degenerate." You bark. Denji rolls his eyes, doing as he's told this time.

"See? Was that so bad? You could've flushed the thing yourself, y'know." He laughs as you slide your way off the sink. You adjust your towel once again, realizing that you're still completely nude underneath. Denji has had this in mind since the beginning. "Now, can I get my favor?"

"You want to cash it in already?" You groan, still blushing from embarrassment. "You should save it for something important. It's not every day you get a favor from me." Ddenji shakes his head, turning off the sink and drying his hands. He actually washed them well enough that you don't have any complains.

"I wanna use it now." He says, hungrily looking down over your frame. Your bare skin is still slightly wet, droplets of water clinging to your skin. Your hair is drooping over your face. This is the rawest, most vulnerable state he has ever seen you in. "I want you to take off the towel."

Silence. Even the birds outside stopped chirping. You blink a few times, hoping this was a joke, but it's not. Your face grows redder as you cling to your towel for dear life. You're speechless. What kind of perverted request is this?

"Y-You... You weirdo!" You yell, turning your face away from him. "That is not a favor! That's just... It's just... You're so gross!" You turn to leave the bathroom, but he graps your wrist, holding you in place. You're about to knock some sense into him, but he begins to speak, and you surprisingly listen.

"Look, I'm not trynna be creepy or anything, okay? I don't mean to offend you. It's just like... you're... untouchable. Y'know? You're the amazing devil hunter everyone looks up to. At the same time, seeing you like this... It's like a reminder that you're human. A pretty one. It makes me think we're not so different. I could be as awesome as you someday, I guess. I still... respect you a lot. Whether you fulfill the favor or not."

Your demeanor softens as he rambles. Denji sure says a lot of things that piss you off, but this touches your cold heart a little. You sigh, pulling his hand off your wrist and opening the bathroom door. For a second, Denji seems dejected, thinking you're about to leave. However, you simply peek through the hallway, making sure nobody else is home before shutting the bathroom door again.

"Fine." You grumble. You did owe him a favor, after all, and you're a woman of your word. "Just for a second, okay?" Denji's face lights up, and he nods vigorously. You roll your eyes. The hands that once tightly gripped your towel drop. Your towel drops along with them, bunching up on the ground. You'll have to get another as soon as Denji is finished oogling you.

But Denji isn't gawking like you thought he would be. He's observing, respectfully. His eyes are scanning over your chest, looking as though he will need to remember this for the rest of his life. Studying you. His gaze drops from your chest, making sure he gets a good look at everything. He lifts a finger, rotating it, indicating he wants you to turn around. You scoff, but comply, shifting so that your back is facing him.

"Are you done yet?" You huff, looking into the mirror to see what he's doing. He's still analyzing your body, taking a step closer to get a better look. You can't help but feel embarrased. Nobody has ever seen you like this before. You've never had time for romance or silly relationships. You've always been too busy being the best.

"You're beautiful." Denji exhales, his eyes glimmering. You turn around to face him again. He's much closer than you remember him being. Your heart picks up and you feel the heat rush to your face again. "Can I... touch?"

"That was not part of the deal!" You groan, but his compliments have softened you. Besides, it's not like this will ever happen again, so why not let him have his fun? You shrug, lifting your arms ever so slightly. "Whatever. Knock yourself out, buddy."

Denji licks his lips, lifting his hands until they're nearly touching your chest. He pauses for a moment, looking back into your eyes for another sign of approval. You roll your eyes and nod. He smiles, his large hands finally grasping your breasts. At first, he's a little rough, and a squeak escapes your throat.

"Ah- Gentle." You whine. His touch lightens as he continues to massage. Between his fingers, he suddenly pinches your nipples. You gasp, jumping slightly at the sudden sensation. "D-Denji-?" He groans, getting down onto his knees and pushing your back into the bathroom door. Suddenly, his lips are locked around your right breast, his tongue swiping around the tender area.

You want to scold him. You want to remind him that this was not part of the deal, but somehow, you don't mind it too much. You're actually enjoying this a little too much. Denji's left hand is still planted on your right breast, kneading it lightly. His other hand begins to travel down your side, pausing at your waist. His thumb rubs circles into your bare skin, which goosebumps are now forming over. With a small pop, lip mouth releases you.

"Is this okay, Miss Y/N?" He says, barely above a whisper. "You can tell me to stop." Surely, he must know what he's doing. He must know the conflict he's causing in your mind. With him on his knees, kneeling in front of you and looking up with such pleading eyes, you feel so drawn to seeing what he does next.

"N-No. It's fine. This is fine. You can... continue." You say, embarrassed. He smiles, his sharp white teeth flashing at you before he lifts you by the waist. Both his arms are wrapped around you, and you grip his hair to stabilize yourself. "H-Hey! Woah-" You're about to complain, but he sets you down at the edge of the sink, his hands finding your thighs.

He caresses you so delicately. It feels comforting to be treated gently. So many people assume you're so tough, and you can handle not being treated softly. Denji felt different. He carefully spread your legs, peppering kisses up your thighs. You bite your lip, growing anxious and embarrassed.

"Relax, Miss Y/N. I don't bite." He smiled, his hands sliding up your legs and finally reaching your wet core. He pushes his thumb against your clit, a little too hard. You jump, grapping his wrist. He nods, easing his touch and rubbing circles on your sensitive bud. "Better?"

"Mhmm..." You hum, releasing his wrist. His head lowers between your thighs, pausing for a moment before his tongue presses against you. For a moment, you wonder how this escalated so quickly, but it's difficult to think while Denji laps up your arousal. Your legs squeeze his head as he continues.

You bite your lip, trying not to let the whimpers and moans fall from your throat. It's embarrassing. It's all just so embarrassing. You can feel how warm your face is. In a way, it's a little difficult to fully enjoy the moment with how your mind races. Maybe he noticed this, because he lifts his head, spreading your legs apart so he can lift himself further to meet your gaze.

"You can relax, Miss Y/N." You find yourself in such a position so that now, his clothes hips are pressed between your legs. His strong arms are wrapped around you, landing on your upper waist while he decorates your neck in kisses and marks.

"Calling me Miss makes me sound old. Just Y/N is fine..." You exhale as he finds your sweet spot, licking and sucking on your soft skin. Suddenly, you feel the press of his sharp teeth on you, piercing your flesh. You yelp, slapping his shoulder. "Hey! I thought you said you didn't bite?" You grumble. He chuckles, his hot breath brushing your shoulder.

"I'm sorry Y/N, you just feel so delicate like this..." He licks up some spots of blood from the bite mark he just created. "I never would've dreamed I could have you so vulnerable like this." His voice suddenly seems so low, and husky. Usually, this comment would've tremendously offended you, but it was true. You'd allowed yourself to be exposed to this man, who you had considered an immature annoyance only an hour earlier.

"Y-Yeah yeah don't get used to it. I'm feeling generous today." You flush, turning your warm face away from him. Although you never imagined yourself being intimate with someone, you never could've fathomed that you would be so submissive. Anyone who knew you saw you as a dominating spirit.

"Well, if you're feeling generous, let's see how much I can get away with..." Denji teased, leaning in closer to you for a kiss. You hesitated for a moment. You've never kissed someone before. What if you did it wrong? No, not possible. You were always the best at everything you did. Still, why did your heart race so rapidly? Why were you so anxious?

You gulp, leaning into his lips. They're surprisingly soft. There were awkward moments where your teeth bumped together, or your rhythm was off. It was definitely a learning curve, but soon, you were synced in a passionate kiss. Your fingers intertwined with the strands of his hair, tugging on it slightly. He groaned, pressing himself into you further.

Your arousal was soaking through his pants, only causing the prominent bulge beneath them to ache and twitch more. His hands explored your body as if he would be tested on it, studying every part of you. Suddenly, he pulled away from the kiss, his cheeks pink and eyes filled with desire.

"Y/N." He whined your name, sending shivers down your spine. It seemed rather unfair that you were completely nude in front of him, and he was still fully dressed. You began to unbutton his shirt, his well-built chest slowly revealing itself to you.

"Yes?" You whisper, pulling his shirt off and allowing it to land on the partially wet floor. It could always be washed later. Right now, all you wanted was for him to get undressed. You reach for his belt, and he watches as you fiddle with the buckle. Slowly, but surely, all his remaining clothing is left in a pile on the floor. He matches you in your nudity.

"I've never done anything like this before." He admits. You smile, grateful that at least you aren't alone in your newness to the situation. "I respect you, a lot. Like, a lot a lot... I want you to feel good."

"I haven't done anything like this either, if that wasn't already obvious." You say softly. His eyes widen with surprise. This only makes you more nervous. He wouldn't back out now, right? He'd better not leave you high and dry.

"R-Really? I wouldn't have expected that from someone as awesome as you." Though there were so many ways you could've interpreted that, you chose to take it as a compliment. Besides, you were growing impatient.

"Really... Now... Can we change that?" You ask, your legs wrapping around him, bringing his cock to your core. He was already twitching and oozing with desire for you. He nods vigorously before gripping your hips. His nails dug into you slightly, but you didn't care. You were too focused on how he lines himself up with you.

"Are you super sure, Miss Y/N?" He asks. You appreciate how much he seems to care about getting your consent. You nod, your hands finding a comfortable resting position wrapping around his neck. "Say it."

"I'm sure." The way he demands verbal confirmation from you makes your heart skip a beat. Before you can say another word, he pushes himself all the way into you. You gasp, a tinge of pain pinching through you. You felt stretched; Filled.

You didn't need to tell him to give you a moment to adjust. You could tell it took a lot out of him to hold himself back. He couldn't contain his twitching, which caused you to shudder every time. You saw the beads of sweat beginning to form on his forehead as he focused on his breathing.

Fortunately, the pain was quick to fade, and suddenly you couldn't imagine feeling as empty as you did before again. You shift your hips slightly, feeling his tip press against a particularly sensitive spongy spot inside you. His breath hitches and his nails press harder into your hips.

"Y/N..." He growls, warning you that if you continue to tease him with your little movements, he wouldn't be able to hold back. Maybe that's exactly what you want. You continue to roll your hips, baiting him with your small motions. "Fuck. Y/N."

You felt him draw out of you a bit, leaving you missing the feeling of being full. However, just as quickly as he had pulled away, he thrusted back into you. This time, you felt nothing, but pleasure. He repeated this motion, pumping deep inside you continuously. Your grip on him tightened as you brought yourself closer, raggedly breathing in his ear.

He chuckles, pulling out of you fully, and picking you up off the counter. You have a moment of confusion before he sets you on the ground, turning you around so that you're facing the mirror. He pins your hands behind your back, your chest pressed against the counter as he pushes back inside you.

You see your lewd expression, and the blush spreading your cheeks. You also see Denji's expression, full of pleasure and a hint of something... possessive? He continues to pound into you, the sound of slapping skin echoing in the room, along with the muffled moans you're trying to contain.

"C'mon princess, let me hear those pretty noises." Denji growls. It feels so out of character for him, but it only makes you more desperate. You allow your moans and whimpers to spill out, seeing just how much he enjoys it based on his face in the mirror. "That's right. Such a good slut for me."

With one hand still holding your wrists, his other travels to your scalp, grabbing a handful of your hair and tugging it back. As your head lifts, you can really see yourself in the mirror. You can see the way your body bounces with every thrust. You can see the bites and hickies on your neck. You don't even have the mind to think about how you'll cover them later.

"Ngh, you're so beautiful like this." He groans, his moans growing louder alongside yours. He releases your wrist, allowing you to use your hands to stabilize yourself against the counter while your legs tremble. Now, another slapping sound fills the room as he smacks your ass, causing you to jump and tighten around him. He gasps, repeating the action. "Fuck. You're so tight... Squeezing around me... You're so good Y/N..."

Your name and the praise rolls of his tongue so naturally, He struggles to get the words out, groaning and huffing as you could tell him release was coming close. You smirk, glad to be bringing him so much pleasure. His mind must be under the same fog yours endures. Denji frees your hair from his hand, bringing his chest down against your back, reaching a whole new angle as he picks up in speed.

His grip finds its way around your throat as he whispers sweet nothings in your ear. You feel a pressure building inside you, coming closer and closer to that pressure releasing with every pump. You feel light, your moans growing louder and louder, encouraging Denji to continue.

"A-Ah- Denji- I can't-" You begin, the words barely falling from your lips between your bodies colliding. He lets out a whine, his thrusts growing sloppier and sloppier. This doesn't matter, though, as you've already come so close to the edge of your climax.

"G-Go ahead. Cum for m-me, good girl~" This sends you over the edge the pressure finally releasing. Your breath quickens as the feeling washes over you. With a couple more thrusts, Denji pulls out of you, finishing on your thighs.

He lets go of your neck, only to wrap his strong arms around your waist as you both catch your breath. You see his tranquil expression in the mirror, eyes shut as his chest heaves. You can see yourself too, disheveled hair and marks across your neck. This was definitely more than your deal entailed, but you don't mind. You don't regret a single moment.

"Wow. That was... radical." Now he's back to being irritating. You roll your eyes, pushing him away from you as you search for where your towel went. He watches you tremble as you pick up your towel, wrapping yourself in it carefully. Your whole-body aches now, and you remember his cum dripping down your legs. You groan with annoyance, debating taking another shower to wash it, and the sweat, away.

"I hope you know this was a one-time thing. This won't happen again." You grumble. Despite your behavior, you were actually quite pleased. It was almost as if this washed away a weight of stress on your shoulders. Little did you know, this would most definitely not be a one-time thing.

"Y-Yeah. Right. Of course." He looks down, seemingly a bit disappointed. "...Was I... at least satisfactory?" He asks, a nervous grin on his face. He was definitely more than satisfactory. This was obvious with the way you shook as you walked. Still, you nodded. In some situations, a little praise was necessary to keep him motivated. This felt no different.

"Yes. You were... Satisfactory. Thank you, Denji." It felt awkward to say, and suddenly your mind brought you back to all the praise Denji had been whimpering in your ear. You blushed again, looking away from him as he began to dress himself again.

A comfortable silence filled the bathroom as he dressed himself, and you tried to clean yourself with some tissues. In a way, you were grateful for the cockroach showing up when it did. You were grateful that Denji happened to be home. You were grateful that Aki and Power were out. Just as you finished your thought, a loud pounding began at the bathroom door, and you jumped.

"Are you guys done fucking yet?!" Power's voice bellowed through the door. Your face grew pale as you flashed a shocked look at Denji. From the look he gave you, he also had no idea that Power was home. "I need to pee!"

"What the fuck Denji. I thought you said Power wasn't home!" You hiss, turning your attention to the door. "Be out soon Power! We weren't... We weren't doing that! Denji was just helping me with a cockroach!" You explain, which is half true.

Through the thin apartment walls, you hear Aki chuckle. Dear god, he was back already too? Denji is finally dressed, and you are wrapped in your towel when you open the door, met with a skeptical looking Power.

"You so totally were fucking. I could hear you!" She pushed past you and Denji, shoving you both out of the bathroom and slamming the door. You rack your brain for more excuses you could make, but then Aki appears at the end of the hall.

"We both could. These walls are quite thin, you know." He complains, looking you up and down. "Denji, your shirt buttons are unaligned." He sighs before meeting my eyes with an annoyed glint. "Y/N. Your neck." He turns, presumably making his way back to the kitchen he came from.

You shoot a look at Denji, who is nervously checking his shirt. You groan, brushing past him to get to your room. You just hope to God that news of this doesn't make its way to anyone else, especially not Makima.

[shuaasumii]

“Cockroach”

ʚ pairing: mingyu x fem!reader

ʚ genre: crack, fluff

ʚ warnings: mentions of a cockroach and michael myers

ʚ summary: turns out your boyfriend mingyu, is afraid of tiny insects.

ʚ a/n: pictures are from pinterest!

you were busy catching up on the latest episode of your favorite tv show when all of a sudden you heard a shriek coming from your bedroom. when you rush to stand up to investigate, your boyfriend, mingyu sprints through the door of your shared bedroom. the 6’2 man rushes to your side hiding behind you as if he was being chased by michael myers.

“y/n help me please please help me,” mingyu rambles. concerned, you ask mingyu what’s wrong.

“there’s a big- no a MASSIVE cockroach in there,” he tells you.

you chuckle, “mingyu there is no way you, a six foot tall man is afraid of a small bug.”

gyu looks at you like you’re crazy before pushing you into the room that apparently holds the most massive cockroach ever according to your boyfriend. you look around for the insect struggling to find it.

“where babe?” you look at him. he points to a corner in your room. you step closer to inspect, and spot roach about the size of a carrot slice. it was hideous you must admit, but it sure wasn’t something to be frightened of.

“oh my god gyu it’s not even that big” you say, “go get me one of those red solo cups and a piece of paper,” you order. he stares at the roach for another second before rushing out of the room to get your supplies.

the man comes running back into the room with your requested cup and paper. the insect had actually moved to another spot in the room which just so happened to be right next to where mingyu had just stepped in.

“babe, um don’t panic- but uh the thing is near your foot,” you awkwardly told him. he looks down and lets out an ear piercing scream. you were definitely not aware your man could let out a sound so loud.

he runs to jump on top of the bed screaming, “GET IT PLEASE, GET IT PLEASE!” you laugh before carefully taking the items out of his hands.

mingyu watches you intently as you capture the bug inside the red cup. you then slide the piece of paper under the cup. after successfully catching the cockroach, you casually walk outside and let it out.

“see gyu? it wasn’t that bad” you tell him.

“no, oh no it was that bad” he hops off the bed and embraces you in one of his big bear hugs. “thank you for saving my life baby.”

you lift you head to look at gyu and send him an ‘are you serious’ look. you playfully roll your eyes and say, “you’re so welcome.”

[harmenboyfriend]

degrading pet names for your trans/cis/etc -harmed sub:

adjectives/etc: abnormal, airhead, aggravating, aloof, annoying, appalling, arrogant, awful, bad, barbaric, boring, brainless, bratty, clingy, clutz, coward(ice/ly), crybaby, devil(ish), dirty, disappointment, dork, dweeb, easy, embarrassing, emotional, filthy, foolish, fraidy-cat, geek, goody-two-shoes, gullible, lame, laughable, lazy, little, loathsome, loser, messy, needy, nerdy, nosy, overemotional, parasitic, pathetic, pipsqueak, pitiful, quirkless, reject, scaredy-cat, sickening, silly, small, squirt, stuck-up, tiny, twerp, useless, wasteful, weak(ling), wimp, wretched

animal: animal, ant, beast, bedbug, beetle, being, beta, birdbrain, brute, bug, bugbrain, carnivore, centipede, chicken, cockroach, coldblooded, creature, critter, dog, feral, flea, fly, herbivore, infestation, in heat, insect, invertebrate, lamb for the slaughter, lapdog, leech, lice, livestock, maggot, monster, mosquito, mouse, mutt, omega, omnivore, organism, parasite, pest(ilence), pet, plague, prey, puppy brain, pussy, pussycat, rat, rodent, runt, savage, sloth, snake, specimen, subhuman, swine, tamed, termite, untamed, vermin, vertebrate, wasp, wild, wildlife, wild thing, worm

bigoted (or bigoted undertones): addict, anal assassin, aspie, ass bandit, bent, brain, broke/brokie, brain damaged, brownie king/piper, cancerous, challenged, crazy, cretin, cripple(d), cuntboy, daft, deaf, defective, deformed, degenerate, delusional/deluded, demented, deranged, derp, dickgirl/girldick, different, dim, dim-witted, dumb, dummy, fairy, femboy, freak, fruit(y), fudge packer, gay, gimp(y), homo, hon, idiot, insane, malignant, NEET, neurotic, pansy, pussyboy, queer, [slurs], shemale, shit for brains, sissy, slow, soy boy, special, stupid, trap, troon, unintelligent, wagie

bodyshaming: big, (as flat as a) board, chubby, cocklet, cow, fat(ty), fatass, flat-chested, heavy, huge, microdick, overweight, pencil dick, pig(gy), plus-size(d), shrimp dick, udders

feminine and/or emasculating: barbie, becky, bimbo, bitch(y), blonde, blondie, boy, cat(ty), cougar, cunt, ditz(y), diva, female, femcel, femoid, foid, girl(y), gold digger, hag, homewrecker, hormonal, hysterical, karen, ladylike, loose, manlet, moody, panty wearing slut, pick me, pimped out hole, prima donna, prude, ran-through, skank, slut, stacy, tease, tramp, trollop, twat, whore, woman, womaniser

humiliation: boot kisser, boot licker, boot shiner, boot whore, boxer sniffer, foot slave, foot whore, painslut, panty sniffer, pee breath, pee drinker, pissy pants, shitstain, shoe kisser, shoe licker, shoe shiner, spit cup, toe sucker, toilet paper, toilet replacement, underwear/undie sniffer, urine whore

objectifying: amusement, bin, chair, entertainment, footrest, garbage can, garbage disposal, footstool, it/its, item, object, plaything, possession, property, puppet, seat, stool, that, thing, toilet, toy, urinal, wallet, waste bin, waste disposal

power dynamic: apprentice, baby, bottom, butler, captive, captor's, child, clown, co-worker, daddy's, dead _ walking, employee, father's, guard, house husband/spouse/wife, inferior, jester, kid(do), kidnapper/kidnapped, kiss-ass, knight, lowlife, maid, malewife, mama's, master's, mine/my, mistress's, mommy's, mortal, mother's, papa's, paypig, peasant, servant, service, slave, stalker/stalked, stay at home husband/spouse/wife, student, subject, sub(missive), teen(ager), victim, waiter, worker, worshipper

explicit;

genitalia: ass, assface, asshole, ass kisser, asswipe, buttplug, butt slut, chode, clit slave, clitwarmer, cockhole, cock slave, cocksleeve, cocksocket, cock thirsty, cockwarmer, dick, dickhead, dildo, guttercunt, limpdick, pocketpussy, pussy slave, pussy washer

intercourse: bag of holes, blow-up doll, breeding hole, cock sucker, cuck(old), cuckqueen, cum bucket, cum drinker, cum dump(strer), cum guzzler, cum jar, cumrag, fuckbunny, fuckdoll, fuckhole, fuckmeat, fucktoy, hole(s), jailbait, jizz jar, rapebait, rapedoll, rapemeat, ropebunny, sack of holes, sex doll, snuffbait, snuff doll, snuff hole, snuff meat, snuff toy, snuff whore, tongue fucker, vanilla, virgin

feel free to add your own favourites!

[bradleysass]

shock - @rosekillermicrofic - wc: 426

Evan had been restless all morning.

His classes dragged on, a monotonous blur of half-understood lessons and scribbled notes he didn’t care about. Usually, Barty was there to make snide comments under his breath, pass him cryptic notes, or just—exist in a way that made everything less dull. But today, Barty wasn’t there.

No text. No warning. Just… gone.

Lunch rolled around, and Evan slumped at their usual table, barely picking at his food. Pandora and Dorcas sat across from him, exchanging glances before deciding to intervene.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Pandora prodded, nudging his foot under the table.

“Yeah, you look like someone kicked your puppy,” Dorcas added, stealing a fry from his untouched tray.

Evan just huffed. “Barty’s not here.”

Pandora gasped dramatically. “Oh no! However will we survive?”

Dorcas smirked. “Maybe he finally got arrested.”

Evan glared. “Not funny.”

“Relax, Evan,” Pandora said, shaking her head. “Barty’s like a cockroach. He always comes back.”

Evan rolled his eyes, but before he could respond, a pair of hands suddenly covered his eyes from behind.

"Guess who," came a voice, teasing and unmistakably familiar.

Evan stiffened. He knew that voice. He knew it better than anything.

Slowly, he reached up and pried the hands away, turning around in his seat. And there he was. Barty Crouch Jr., in the flesh.

But something was… different.

His hair, usually a messy disaster, was now buzzed short. Like, really short. Military-precise, as if someone had taken clippers to it with ruthless efficiency. Evan just stared.

Barty grinned, all sharp teeth and amusement. “Don’t look too shocked to see me. I’m not dead.”

Evan blinked. Opened his mouth. Closed it. “What. The. Fuck.”

Dorcas burst out laughing. Pandora gasped. “You cut your hair?!”

Barty shrugged, sliding into the seat next to Evan, as if nothing was unusual. “Technically, my father cut my hair.” He gestured vaguely to his head. “More like ordered it to be cut. Some ‘discipline’ bullshit. But I figured, hey, new look. What do you think?”

Evan just stared.

Barty had always been reckless, wild, untouchable in his own chaotic way. This? This was unnatural. He looked like someone had tried to scrub the rebellion out of him.

Evan reached out, hesitated, then ran a hand over the newly buzzed hair. “It’s awful.”

Barty snorted. “Good. That means I still look like me.”

Evan just huffed. “You look like a boot camp dropout.”

Barty grinned. “And yet, you still can’t stop touching me.”

Evan yanked his hand back as Pandora and Dorcas cackled. “Shut up.”

[archangeldyke-all]

here me out. isha would so want a praying mantis and/or a colony of cockroaches. jinx would enable her. reader would be against the cockroaches (projecting here). sevika would also be against it but fold and buy the cockroaches and/or the praying mantis cause isha insisted.

oh my god TOTALLY hehehe

men and minors dni

it's a slow saturday morning in your home. jinx is lounging on the couch, flipping through a book ekko lent her a few days ago. sevika's at the stove, sipping the coffee you made for her while flipping pancakes and frying eggs. you're getting a head start on some chores, dusting the baseboards and shelves. there's gentle music drifting from the tiny radio you keep in the kitchen. it's a perfect morning... almost...

"where's the rugrat?" sevika asks.

you hum. "still sleeping, i guess."

"isha? sleeping in?" sevika asks. you shrug.

"maybe she's goin' through a growth spurt."

speak of the devil and she will appear, because not two minutes after sevika asks where she is, isha comes stumbling into the kitchen. she's got crazy bedhead, one sock on and the other missing, and a glint in her eye that makes you nervous.

"there she is!" sevika giggles. isha greets sevika with a quick fist bump before running over to hug your waist. you smile down at the girl.

"good morning isha-bean." you greet. she giggles at the nickname, then pulls up her sleep shirt to reveal one of her nature magazines tucked in her pajama pants.

ms. baby. look at this bug! she signs before pulling you to the table and flipping through the pages. you take a seat beside her, gently combing your fingers through her hair as she looks for her page.

isha shoves the magazine to your side of the table, tapping the picture of a pink praying mantis. "wow, that's beautiful!" you gasp. isha grins and nods.

it's called an orchid praying mantis! it's so pretty! do you know that praying mantis' only eat alive creatures? isha signs so fast you can barely keep up. you giggle.

"they eat their husbands too." you say.

isha takes an excited breath. they're so so so so cool! she signs. will you buy me one?

you laugh. "buy you one?! is that even possible?!"

isha nods rapidly. i went on the computer! all i need is a big enclosure and some plants and a humidifier and some bugs to feed it--

"woah, slow down!" you laugh. "the sun's barely even up yet!"

isha rolls her eyes and huffs, then turns to sevika. big mama, will you take me to the pet store today?

sevika laughs. "isha-baby, y'know i do what ms. baby says."

isha whines and stomps her foot. but look! she signs, grabbing the magazine and holding it up for sevika to investigate. look how cool!

"it's awesome kid. we just gotta talk about it a bit before we make any decisions."

isha rolls her eyes again, then sulks off to the living room to bother jinx.

you think that's the end of it until sevika declares that breakfast is ready and your girls don't come to the table.

"jinx, isha, did you hear your big mama?!" you call from where you're plating some pancakes.

there's no response. sevika frowns.

"where the hell are they?" she asks.

you walk into the living room and find it empty. "not here." you say. sevika huffs and pulls out her phone, calling jinx.

it rings twice before jinx answers.

"what's up sev?" she asks. sevika snorts.

"where the hell are you two?"

jinx giggles down the line. "the pet store! isha wants a praying mantis."

you groan as sevika bursts into laughter. you snatch the phone out of your wife's hand to scold your kids.

"you can't just leave the house without telling us!"

"you woulda said no if i told you where we were going!"

"jinx, i told isha maybe! that doesn't mean 'go for it right now!'"

sevika wraps an arm around your shoulders and kisses your head, mumbling so the girls can't hear her. "just let it go, baby."

"how the hell do you think you're gonna haul home all the supplies?!" you ask down the line.

there's silence for a moment, then jinx giggles. "isha says we'll steal a shopping cart."

"do not steal a fucking shopping cart!" you squeal.

sevika snorts, then turns the stove off. "we'll come pick you kids up. what pet store are you walking toward?"

you elbow your wife. "don't encourage them!"

"nothing we say is gonna stop 'em baby." sevika laughs. you groan.

"you little shits are in so much trouble when you get home."

jinx just laughs down the line. "whatever you say, ms. baby."

you find your girls at the local pet store parking lot. isha's grinning like she just won the lottery, peering into the tiny little carrier her new friend is in. jinx's arms are full with supplies, and she's smiling sweetly down at isha. you groan at the sight of them.

"you have to admit they're cute as hell." sevika says. you giggle.

"of course i admit that! that's the only reason i'm not furious right now!"

sevika snorts and pulls you over the center console, giving you a quick kiss. "you're a good mama."

you roll your eyes, but then kiss your wife again. "you are too."

the girls pile into the car, and isha excitedly shoves the new bug in your face. ms. baby, look! she signs, wiggling in her carseat as you examine her new friend.

from where she's loading the trunk with supplies, jinx speaks. "tell 'em the name you picked out, isha-bug."

meet lady jaws! isha introduces. you chuckle.

"lady jaws, huh?"

cause she ate her husband!

you laugh and roll your eyes. "get your seat belt on you little shit. our pancakes are probably cold by now."

sevika snorts and pulls your hand to her lips, kissing your knuckles. jinx pats your shoulder as she settles into the backseat.

"you're a good mom, ms. baby." jinx giggles. you shake your head.

"i'm gonna put gps trackers on you kids."

kofi

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@kissyslut @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@lavenderbabu @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @my-taintedheart

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette

@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp

@iamastar @sevikitty @butchchase @nhaaauyen @annesunshiner

@mirconreadzztuff22 @veoomvroom @lushh-s3vik4s @katyawooga @lesbodietcoke

@strawberrykidneystone @vkumi @fict1onallyobsessed @dvrkhcld @sweetybuzz25

@sluttysierraaa @snake-in-a-flower-crown @ruiwonderz @littlemisszaunite @biblicalcrybaby

@blackgaladriel @nightlyconfusion @dancingqu33n17 @losernb @p1nkearth

taglist!!

@sevikas-baby @ghostscandys @sevikasllver @runawaybaby3 @lesbones

@chezze-its @lez-zuha @vikashoneybee @shanesevikasfuckdoll @imheadintothemountains

@ferxanda @helaenabugmom @spookymomfriendtm @leeidk87 @cinnamowor1d

[friendlyneighborhoodslut]

The Roommate Agreement | 1-The Line.

Pairing(s)/Tropes—Eventual Steve Harrington x Reader, slowburn/friends to lovers.

Summary— Your first day at college is a disaster, but luckily your big brother lives right down the road… with some very interesting roommates.

Warnings/Extras—Strong language, mentions of bad parenting, cockroaches/bugs, psycho roommate (we’ve all had one), drinking, college dorms deserve their own TW, Steve and Eddie being slight pervs. MDNI, 18+! Let me know if I missed anything!

MASTERLIST | | NEXT PART

⊱ ────── {⋆❉⋆} ────── ⊰

“Who the hell drinks pumpkin spice in August? It’s 85 degrees outside.” Daizy states her opinion loudly, catching the scowl of a the poor girl minding her business and drinking her latte on a bench. I snort, rearranging my grip on the box labeled Books.

“You’re just a ray of sunshine today, aren’t you?” I tease her as we climb the Dormitory steps.

“I just can’t believe you’re leaving me for some stuffy college in Chicago,” she complains.

“I can’t believe you’re not coming with me,” I retort. We slip past a couple making out in the hallway. Daizy makes a face at them before catching up with me.

“This place is well above my tax bracket,” she tells me. I count down the door numbers until we reach our destination. Room 203B. I kick the slightly ajar door with my foot, the waft of fresh paint and stale air hitting me.

My roommate has beaten me here, marking her territory by setting off an apparent bomb in the room. Foul smelling clothes are strung about, boxes sit in groups everywhere, including both beds. She’s got messy black hair and a general unpleasant disposition to her, staring at me as I walk in.

“Um, hi. I’m your roommate. You must be Hailey?” I readjust the box to shake her hand but she ignores it, returning to a box on her chosen bed. I wade through the landfill that was once our room. I try to set the box down without disturbing any of Hailey’s things, but Daizy makes a show of sweeping all the items off my bed with her arm. A waterfall of junk falls to the ground loudly. Hailey’s head turns to quick I think she’s snapped her neck.

“HEY!”

“Ever heard of manners, Halsey?” Daizy scolds.

“It’s Hailey,”

“Whatever.”

“Dude!” I whisper-yell to my best friend. The last thing I need is to get off on the wrong foot with my roommate and have to endure her wrath the entire semester. Honestly, I can’t help but be disappointed; my faith in the college’s random roommate assignment program completely shattered.

Their silent standoff awkwardly disperses, leaving a thick blanket of tension in its place. I suddenly feel like I can’t breathe and my clothes feel too tight. I squeeze my left hand in my right, tugging on my fingers one-by-one anxiously. Daizy glances down at my hands and sighs, “Alright. Let’s get all your stuff up here and call your brother.”

⊱ ────── {⋆❉⋆} ────── ⊰

I’m buzzing with a concoction of anticipation and excitement as I sit in the cafe, my oat milk latte long forgotten. Staring out the glass front of the shop, I perk up a little at every man with dark hair that passes by. Daizy occasionally laughs at me, reminding me it’s only been two years since I’ve seen my older brother, not a lifetime.

It feels like a lifetime.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t chose this college because Benjamin had chosen it. Well, he played a great factor in it at least. Whilst I had Daizy and am forever grateful for her, Ben had practically raised me and his absence left a palpable hole in my life. I didn’t blame him for leaving; a prestigious school in Chicago and an excuse to leave our parents in the dust would bend the strongest wills. I was simply collateral damage, and I endured two years of torture at the hand of our parents until I graduated high school.

Besides, getting into The University of Chicago was damn near one of the highest honors someone in our family could receive. With a 7% acceptance rate, I felt like I’d received a letter from Hogwarts when my acceptance came in the mail. It was probably the only time I’d ever seen my parents proud of me, despite my 4.0 GPA and several letters from different sports. “Your brother was Valedictorian with a 5.0 in Honors,” they’d tell me. Yeah, well, fuck Honors.

“I drove 16 hours from Houston to see this asshole, he better show,” Daizy says affirmatively, and I imagine what she’d do to Ben if he ditched. Wring him out like a rag, probably. I cock a brow at her and she rolls her eyes. “And to be with you, of course.”

“Thank you again for driving me,” I smile. Daizy drives like she’s got 10 lives, but given that the alternative was to ask one of my parents to drive, I was more than happy to risk my life on a cross-country journey with her.

She grins, flipping her insanely long black and purple hair over her shoulder before reaching across the table to grab my hand. She squeezes it reassuringly.

The French doors of the Cafe swing open, prompting the dainty ring of a brass bell hung from the ceiling. Both of our heads snap in that direction, my brother standing with his hands in the pockets of his blue jeans.

I stare at him, gobsmacked, until he opens his arms.

“No warm hello for your big brother?” He laughs. I stand abruptly, running across the room to him. I jump into him with a thump, and he lets out an oomph on impact. I hug him tightly, and suddenly I’m that annoying little kid who’d follow him around everywhere again. He squeezes me tightly as we rock side to side a bit.

“Holy shit, you look old! College has aged you,” I tell him when I finally let go.

He shoves my shoulder. “Still a Shithead, I see,”

I pretend like it hurt, but he’s not looking at me anymore. He’s looking over my head, jaw hung slack ever so slightly.

“BEN!” Daizy says, way too enthusiastically, jogging to him. I’m suddenly very awkwardly in the way as they embrace each other and he plants a kiss on her cheek.

Ugh, gross. They’ve been obviously in love with each other since we were kids, but God forbid either of them admit it. The closest they’ve ever gotten was a New Years kiss at a sweaty high school party, but they never mentioned it after that night. I’m not opposed to the idea of them together, only apprehensive; because in the event they’d split, I’d have to chose one over the other. The idea alone makes my stomach churn.

“It’s been so long!” Daizy pulls away form him barely, still gripping onto his shoulders.

“Are you in town a while? You should come by the apartment. We live just down the road,” Benjamin starts.

“We?” I echo.

He shrugs. “My roommates and I,”

“You didn’t tell us you had roommates,” Daizy adds inquisitively.

My brother nods. “Used to be four of us, now there’s three. Some guys I met in school,”

“An apartment filled with college boys, what’s the worst that could happen?” I joke.

“We function quite well. Thank you very much,” my brother dismisses as his phone starts ringing. He digs into his pocket, face falling as he swipes the screen. “Hey, what’s up?” There’s muffled words on the other end. “He did what? Jesus Christ. Yeah. Let me run by the bank, I’ll be there.” He hangs up, rubbing his face.

“What’s wrong?” I query.

“It’s my friend Eddie. Got himself into trouble, again. I gotta go. Call me later, yeah?” He says hurriedly, leaning forward to kiss the side of my head and hug me. Then he’s gone, just as swift as he’d arrived, and for a moment I question if he was ever here at all.

I scrunch my nose up, trying not to feel bitter. My fantasy of catching up with my brother just that, a fantasy, I relent and decide it’s time to face my creepy roommate.

It’s just one year, right?

Grabbing Daizy’s hand, I tug her out the doors and into the busy streets of Chicago.

⊱ ────── {⋆❉⋆} ────── ⊰

The unfortunate part about August is that, while beautiful, it’s hot as fuck. Not quite as ‘I’m going to melt alive’ hot as July, but enough that the lack of air conditioning in the Dorms has me wanting to peel my skin off for a semblance of relief. I toss and turn in the night, sleep evading me. I’m sticky with sweat and my chest heaves against the stuffy air. Giving in, I lay on my back and stare up at the ceiling.

I sit there, in the darkness, questioning every choice that lead up to this point, when my legs begin to tickle and itch.

Fantastic, I’ve got heat rash. I lean down to scratch at my legs like a wild animal, but stop when my nails brush against something soft and smooth.

Something crawls up my leg.

I squint against the darkness, the faint glow from the streetlight outside reflecting through the blinds. A cylindrical bug, about the size a quarter, scurries against my sheet.

A cockroach. There’s a fucking cockroach in my bed.

I scream, kicking my blankets off and scrambling to turn on my bedside lamp. A face—shrouded by darkness before—meets mine at the edge of the bed, just inches away. Hailey grins down at me. I scream again, petrified, and tumble out of bed.

“JESUS CHRIST! THERE’S BUGS IN THE ROOM!” I cry, running my hands over myself to check for more.

“I know,” Hailey smiles.

I stop dead in my tracks. “Did you… did you put fucking roaches in my bed?!”

She tilts her head to the side.

I think I saw this in a movie once. She’s going to skin me alive and wear me as a hat.

“Psychopath. God!” I exasperate, snatching my phone off the nightstand. “I’ll see you on the 5’o clock news for murder.” I murmur but I don’t think she hears me. She watches me leave, that uncanny grin never leaving her lips. I shiver to shake the sickening feeling she leaves me with.

It doesn’t settle in just how screwed I am until my bare feet hit the pavement. A cascade of rain trickles down my face and soaks my hair. I roll my eyes and groan. Of course. This is just perfect. Murderer roommate, bugs, and now rain.

I clutch my phone tight in my hand. I contemplate calling Daizy, but I feel I’ve asked her for enough favors recently. Defeated, I sigh and click on my brother’s name.

The last thing in our text thread is his address, with the message: sorry to run out like that. Stop by sometime. I click on it, pleasantly surprised by the 8 minute walk icon. Peering up at the black, starless sky, raindrops getting in my eyes, I sigh heavily and begin my barefooted decent to my brother’s apartment.

It’s 1:04 AM when I reach the red brick building. I double check the address and triple check the apartment number before knocking on the bright blue door. Aggressively, unwavering. At some point knocks turn into open-palmed pounds as I’m desperate to awaken my big brother.

The door flies open. Ben stands in the doorway, beer in hand and eyes hooded.

“There’s cockroaches in my dorm, it’s the temperature of Hell and I’m pretty sure my roommate is the Jeffery Dahmer reincarnate,” I blurt out, tears stinging eyes.

He blinks. “Normal people start with ‘hi’.”

I frown and he shrugs, opening the door the rest of the way and gesturing for me to come inside. I oblige, turning back around to face him.

“Bugs, Ben. She put bugs in my bed. You know how I am about things with too many legs—“

“—Nothing should have more than four legs, it’s excessive and creepy,” he mimicks me. “Yes, yes. I know. The legs,” he shakes his hands and raises his voice, pretending to be a girl, which he’s terrible at. I make an annoyed sound.

“She was staring at me, while I was sleeping. Like she wanted to—“

Someone clears their throat.

I spin around, hair whipping me in the face. My heart drops into my ass as I lock eyes with two boys sitting on the weathered leather couch. One with long, unruly black curls; covered in tattoos and plucking at a guitar. And the other, all puppy dog eyes and sandy hair, sipping on a beer.

“Hello there,” the one with dark hair chuckles, grabbing his own beer to slyly take a swig of his PBR can.

“Eddie, don’t start. Your stupid ass is still grounded for getting yourself thrown in jail,” Ben groans, stepping between us.

I’m suddenly feeling very self conscious in my sleep shorts and t shirt, not much left to the imagination. I wrap my arms around myself, a useless gesture.

“That guy was asking for it,” Eddie defends.

The guy next to Eddie on the small couch is silent, arm stretched over the back and staring at me. I sweat, unable to peel my eyes away from his. He’s beautiful, to put it simply. Sun-kissed skin against dark eyes and brown hair that frames his sharp features.

“Hey, man. Didn’t your mom ever teach you that starin’s rude?” Eddie scolds jokingly, covering the other’s eyes. “How come you don’t ever look at me like that, huh Stevie boy?” he cackles, and I realize he may be drunk, as he grips Steve’s face and plants a loud kiss to his cheek.

Steve recoils, pushing his friend away. “Gross, get off me dude,” they take turns shoving each other.

“Alright, you delinquents. That’s enough,” Ben speaks to them like a disappointed parent, ripping the blanket off the back of the couch and handing it to me. I take it graciously, wrapping it around myself. “This is my baby sister Y/N. She’s off limits, that’s a line you don’t cross, ever. She’ll sleep in my room tonight though, since you two can’t be trusted,” he inserts himself into the space between me and the sofa, drawing a metaphorical ‘line in the sand’ mid-air.

“The line,” he appoints theatrically. “Do. Not. Cross it.”

Steve nods. Eddie salutes drunkenly, his eyes nowhere near focused on Ben. I suppress a laugh.

Ben wraps his arm around my shoulders, spinning me around to walk down the hallway. “Now, why don’t you calmly tell me what happened?”