#Also probably wouldn’t like it if something like a lobster touched my foot in the ocean

[driftingballoons]

I don’t think I have that phobia lol

[diary-of-an-onliner]

feet on the ground [f.w.]

word count: 3381

warnings: none

a/n: this is based on, and a counterpart/continuation of @ickle-ronniekins 's head in the clouds — thanks for the inspo babe, this one is for you

Fred Weasley was not happy. Sure, he had made a lot of questionable, or as other people like to say 'bad', decisions in his life, but taking Care of Magical Creatures was one of the worst. Yes, it made Hagrid ecstatic, and that's always a good thing to see; yes, it's useful for his future business. However a hellfire-cracken the size of a shoebox was making him rethink his choices.

For the lack of a better distraction, he focused on digging a hole in the grass with his trainer as Hagrid’s rumbled instructiones flew over his head, missing both ears and zooming away into an indifferent oblivion. George is taking this already, he looked to George, who was quite enchanted with his partner, and thoroughly enjoying it, couldn't we have split up? He kicked the dirt lightly, startling the girl next to him.

Neither Fred nor his Slytherin partner were thrilled with each other,but misery loves company, so it might be for the best.

"How's the weather up there?" said his partner, who was crouching eye — er, shell-level, with the creature, but keeping her distance nonetheless. Her hair waved and flickered on her shoulder as she bounced on her heels.

"Immaculate, thanks for asking." he said, not wanting to get closer to the scorpion-lobster lovechild from the asshole of hell. "Y'know Hagrid said those things burn, bite, and sting, right?"

"So do I.” she said sarcastically, still keeping her gaze tied to the monster. “I'm not going to touch it, I'm just looking. You're aware we need to sketch it, label its parts and write an essay about it later?" Fred shifted his weight from foot to foot restlessly.

"Yes." his nostrils flared.

She pursed her lips and, after a moment of silence, said: "I dare you to touch it."

He crossed his arms. "I am not taking dares from you. We met three minutes ago and I haven't enjoyed a second of it."

"What's up your ass?" she turned to him, still crouching. "Actually, I don't care. Just don't take it out on me." The creature clicked their — tail? — pincers? — their something.

"I wasn't—" she raised an eyebrow and he fell silent, and looked away.

"'m not very thrilled to be here." he mumbled. "And that ugly death trap isn't making it better. Can we start over?" he asked, sighing and tiredly sweeping his left hand through his hair, and offering his right to her.

She took it and pulled herself up, then promptly smoothed out her skirt, shook his still proffered hand, and introduced herself.

Unlike his messy untucked shirt, her uniform was pressed down to the socks and her shoes held no traces of mud. It gave her a calculating, and slightly cold aura, as if she was drawn with a set of rulers and a compass. She was probably more geometrical than anyone who had ever taken Care of Magical Creatures.

"Fred." he said, even though she knew.

"Well Fred, we will be working together on this Blast-Ended Skrewt for the next few weeks, so that 'ugly death trap’ is our son you're talking about." she chided with a smile that better belonged on a sly fox rather than a girl.

"You sound very attached to it." he shot back. An idea, a thought, a silver of a notion that this might be fun slithered along the floor of his skull.

"Him.” She corrected with her pointer finger in the air. “And it's called being a good parent." she lightly jabbed him in the chest.

"Okay then. Go pet your son." Fred smirked.

They turned toward the beast which was playing in the grass like a puppy. It seemed to be wiggling its tails.

Her eyes narrowed: "Which part is the head?"

"I don't know. We should probably figure it out, since the other side shoots flames." he said in an amused tone.

"It's supposed to be a sucker, so it might be the penis-looking side." he chuckled, but when she turned to stare at him expectantly, his red eyebrow jumped in question. A breeze ruffled their hair.

"Go on then, don't be shy, we need to compare." she said flatly.

He burst out laughing so hard, a few people around them turned to stare - quite a dangerous thing to do at the moment seeing as some of the beasts started snipping. A yelp sounded from afar, and Fred laughed even harder.

At least his partner is funny.

"Seriously though, this thing is going to fire-fart on us soon and we need to figure it out."

“You don’t feel better in nature?” her tone piqued as she turned the pages of a book. Their desk was covered with them, during the first of their many study meetings.

“No.” Fred played with his quill, spinning it through his fingers. “You do?”

“I feel clearer, especially near water.��, thump, she shut her book and discarded it.

“How come?” he balanced on the back legs of his chair, eyes darting around.

“I don’t know. It’s not a thing I question.”, flip, flip, flip, “It just lures me out of my head, and makes me feel a little more real, like I’m aware of my own existence. Sharper, yknow?”

Fred shook his head.

“I don’t have a need to get out of my head, it’s great in there.” he joked. She snorted and passed him a book with a piece of paper sticking out.

“Don’t you? You seem to be in there a lot though. I think you think too much.” Fred chukled, “That’s something I've never been told.”

“Then it’s about time.” she threw his way, but she had yet to look at him, Fred noted. The idea of her as geometrical played around in his head. “Try it next time. People exist a little sharper sometimes. It stops you from feeling like you’re going to float away.” her eyes finally flickered to him like two needles of her compasses, and shot him down. His chair hit the ground.

Before Fred had a chance to say something else or roll her idea around in his brain, she passed him a piece of parchment with a soft order to, “Write.”

His diagram of their unnamed child was much neater than hers, but his illegible handwriting distracted from it perfectly.

"That is not a t."she said, her hair almost electrified from stress-combing it with her hands.

"It's obviously a g." he chirped, but his tone sounded worn down all the same. She squinted at the paper with her mouth open for a moment, then gave up.

"How are you still this peppy?" she asked as her gaze lazily rolled itself away from the books. His tie was completely undone and being used as a bookmark, his shirt unbuttoned and ruffled like his hair, ha, carrot head!, but he took no note of it as he balanced on the back legs of his chair again. Every so often, a clank would sound amid their conversation when the chair struck against the stone floor and his feet hit the ground, before he leaned back again.

"What are you talking about? I'm knackered." he yawned.

She looked up, and her thoughts leaked out of her head. The scenery through the window behind him was gorgeous, lit on fire by the dusk— oversaturated reds and pinks which lined the dark purple clouds.

With a loud tap on the library floor, the front legs of Fred's chair touched the ground and his head covered the sun perfectly, giving him a golden lining and making his orange hair melt into the background. The clear lines of his face looked almost chiseled in contrast to the haziness behind him.

A weight settled in the center of her torso, an iron bowling ball rolling between her stomach and her heart. He was handsome. She knew this. But she used to know it the way one knows they should drink water when they’re thirsty. Knowing you needed it after you drink him in, swallow, and sign, is another story.

She felt a warm metal line grow out of her chest, like a vine towards the sunlight, enter his chest and settle.

For a few moments she imagined it. She tried to note the dragging sensation of warm iron and let herself be pulled to him. She imagined the ball rolling in his center, and all his squirming being in an attempt to adjust it instead of just staying awake.

Then she blinked. Took in the real scene. Despite being exhausted, she felt tranquil in their little corner filled with books and a few very ugly sketches. She picked one up.

“Are we allowed to call his head a dick?” She questioned, but Fred just yawned and shrugged. His chair tipped back again.

“You’ll hurt yourself.” She said flatly, words moving from line to line like trains with the shittiest track designs ever.

“The thrill keeps me awake.” he closed his eyes, hair still a burning red. She didn’t dare look at the Sun for too long. Her eyes tried to follow the words. The ball rolled.

He slid another sketch towards her. “I think we should use this one.”

She put the first one aside, their hands brushing as she took the new parchment. She heard the scraping of his chair on the floor as he moved closer until his collarbone pressed against her shoulder as he leaned over to point. The body heat he was emitting only reminded her of the weariness her body carried. It also refashioned her bowling ball into an anchor slowly sinking through her stomach, tickling her insides on the way down.

The sketch was neater and much simpler than others, no more than a handful of black lines on a yellowing parchment.

“This part is the head.” Fred pointed out. “I think. It looks weird and there isn’t exactly a good reference for a randomly cross-bred demon.” He seemed so focused on his drawing that she got the feeling he was avoiding her eyes intentionally. Stupid, really. They’re both just tired and have a lot of work.

Look at me.

He didn’t.

She banished all her stupid silly thoughts, and tried to turn to the books for the next few hours.

Fred stayed circling warmly on the edge of her orbit, moving around her but never looking, never acknowledging her as anything other than a voice and a pair of friendly working hands. The silly stupid thread she felt earlier vibrated. She didn't bring it up for fear they wouldn't finish all their work if she were to derail the conversation, so she waited until the end of their study session.

However, when the anticipated end neared, his chair hit the stone the last time and when she turned to him, Fred was lying on his arms on the table, asleep. His outline was as bright and as sharp as ever, but his face was soft and smooth from relaxation, like a marble statue melting. The anchor in her stomach lurch up at the sight, but she swallowed it down, smiled, and laid her head on the table too.

Another sunny afternoon had George almost skipping to his quirky partner. And Fred was glad, he liked to see his brother happy and loved teasing him for being in love even more — but he still hated the bloody beasts. He was thankful for George's efforts to cheer him up, but Fred refused to move out from under his personal gloomy cloud, choosing to carry it alone instead, the way one would an umbrella.

As soon as George mentions his partner, he knows it's time to leave him to his beloved, as he does, with minimal mocking involved (—but come on!).

As Fred approached her, he saw her roll her eyes. Funny. Something about knowing she's as un-excited as he is made his chest swell up with what can only be described as the sudden understanding of the real depth of companionship between you and a stranger, an acquaintance, a friend. I might not like this, but I am not alone.

"They're four feet long already. Your future sister-in-law," said his partner, gesturing to George's love with her head, at which Fred smiled warmly, "said we only get to work with them for another class. I think she might cry." His clouds stopped thundering.

"Don't be rude." he replied but did not sound angry in the least.

"I'm not. She's a nice girl and God bless her for being passionate about this. We need people like her, otherwise the rest of us would have to care as well." she reasoned.

"There's that warm and welcoming Slytherin care I've heard all about." he said sarcastically.

"Rude. Gingers truly are soulless." Fred got nudged in the ribs.

"Oi!"

"Oi yourself!" she flipped her hair and flashed her foxy smile. No, it's fox-like. "Don't start things you can't finish."

"Well, I'm ready to be done with this thing." he looked pointedly at the snapping creature reaching out to them like a baby in a cot.

They received their instructions from Hagrid to feed, entertain, and check the health of the creature and set off to work. After a few minutes of silence, Fred spoke.

"I think there's something wrong with this thing." he squinted.

"Him." She corrected, "He's our son."

"Well I think our son is pregnant." Fred’s face soured.

“No way." she replied, kneeling closer to the beast than she'd ever dared before. "How do you know?"

"A hunch?" Fred shrugged his very nicely shaped shoulders. No! "I'm not sure. It did eat three times as much as the others. It should be a lot fatter."

"He." She absent-mindedly corrected, trying to get a good enough look.

"He doesn't look sick but he's being weird." he squatted next to her, bouncing on his heels.

"Maybe he's lonely. We both ditched a few times." She bumped her knee into his. "I dare you to touch him."

Fred laughed as he turned to her. "I'm not that commited of a father. You do it."

"Why me? You need to do something too!" she whined as their son approached in a rather puppy-like gait, as if he was going to rub against their legs, and Fred's gaze slipped off her, like that day in the library.

"I'll do whatever you want.” he paused "Within reason, of course."

"Touch him."

"Within reason."

"Fine." their dark-shelled son stood before them now, but they were not as hesitant this time. The beast looked at Fred with either his head or his stinger (how is it still not clear?).

Slowly and shakily, her hand reached out. She almost withdrew it, but it already made contact with their son's back and he made a sound similar to purring, which was both surprising and unsettling. Her face bent in disgust as her entire palm pressed against his black shell, gleaming maroon in the sunlight.

"Ew. He's slimy." she detached her hand to see a catran-like substance coating it. "How is he slimy?"

Fred's nose was scrunched as well but an amused gleam flickered on his face nonetheless. “Disgusting.”

"Well, I did it." she complained, trying to wipe her hand on his arm, but he rose to his feet quickly, laughing.

“Keep that to yourself.” Fred warned, trying to avoid her swift attempts to use him as a rag.

“Come on!” She whined. “We’re in this together. If I have to be gross then so do you.” she jumped up after Fred.

He felt weightless as he maneuvered around her and the clawing beast that still purred by their feet, and he realized how warm the sunlight was. His little cloud was gone. In that distracted second of their impromptu three-creature quickstep, she wrapped her clean hand around his hand and pulled herself closer to him.

She grinned from ear to ear, and Fred felt her wet, cold hand sliding down his shoulder. She wiped a few times down his arm and chest with a wickedly satisfied look in her face as he wondered why he didn’t mind it so much. His eyes danced over her face the way his trainers had over the grass mere seconds ago.

“What?” she asked. Wait, she was speaking.

“Um, nothing.” his face rearranged itself from a goofy smile (What?) and he looked at his stained shirt. Before he even had time to comment, her voice made the center of his stomach tighten.

“Do you think he'd lick one if she asked?” Fred followed her gaze to George, looking as dreamy as his partner who was purring back at their Blast-Ended Skrewt. Sunlight covered them too.

Her hand still held onto him.

Fred sighed, both amused and lightheaded from a new discovery threatening to unveil its face in his mind. George laughed so loudly it reached Fred’s ears, and he responded, “Yes.”

“Would you lick one for me?” she batted her eyelashes.

“Absolutely not.” he said without missing a beat.

“What kind of a father won't even lick his own son?” she put a hand on her chest, faux-horrified.

“I still think our son is pregnant.” he said, grinning at her.

“What kind of a father won't lick his own pregnant son?” she humored.

“You're making this worse than it has to be.”

Her eyebrow rose as she offered: “You can always do this alone?”

“No.” something ugly and covered in spikes spun in Fred's stomach.

“Well then,” she said smugly, as if she knew, “you need to start cooperating.” She tugged on his arm with her hand that was there the whole time. Her arm slid around his as she pulled him along, and Fred adjusted his collar with his fingers. When did they get so far away from the group?

“You don’t pet him, you don’t groom him with your tongue like a cat, what do you do? I haven’t seen you change a single diaper!” she over-exaggerated. “I’m basically a single mother!”

He laughed and apologized, feeling lighter and sharper than he had all day.

His future sister-in-law was wrong. They worked on their loving, puppy-like hell scorpions for three more classes, and had another one in a classroom, correcting their essays. During that class, they found out that their son really was pregnant, at which they laughed all the way to the Great Hall.

Fred felt something heavy rolling over his intestines when he thought of the end. It wound itself around his organs until his lips dropped. Nevertheless, he grinned at George (who definitely saw through him), and, with his chin up like a proud lion, departed from him to sit next to his partner, one last time.

He thought about her more often than he expected to, and he feared he might have to stop soon.

As he slid next to her, his metaphorical tail curled closer to him. She beamed brightly at him, and offered her closed fist.

“You ready, partner?”

No, he curled his fingers with a smile, I don’t think I am, and bumped their hands together.

“Doesn’t have to end? Didn't you listen?” she asked him incredulously as he caught up with her. He couldn’t say he has, as his ears buzzed deafeningly loudly since they received their O.

Maybe she had a point when she said there were moments when people felt more defined as he was more sure than ever that he existed in the corridor leading to the Care of Magical Creatures classroom, as his limbs filled with lead at the way she spoke.

“I just thought if you—” his mouth shit on its own. “You know—”

“Holy shit, you really didn’t listen?” but this time she laughed. “Hagrid said we can pick our own partners for the next project.” Her arm curled around his own, “So unless you want to dump me, we march on.”

Whatever heavy thing has been making his stomach a winter home the past week flew off to their summer residence.

She definitely had a point about grounded moments, because when her hand squeezed his arm, the lead leaked out and the awareness of every part of his body slammed into focus.

And Fred smiled back.

She smiled promisingly at him, his heart stuttered, and his sneakers sunk into the stone beneath him.

[scapegrace74-blog]

Ginger Snap, Chapter 5

A/N  Know what this fic needs?  More Geillis.  No really, I think you guys are going to like where I’m going with this.   Just bear with me.   Only one more chapter to go after this one, plus an epilogue.   Thanks for coming on the journey with me!  With due credit to Sia, this chapter’s title is Fire, Meet Gasoline.

Previous chapters are best enjoyed on my AO3 page, because I have a bad habit of going back and editing them after they’ve been posted.

Geillis Duncan drove much the way she approached life, which was to say without much regard for rules and at white-knuckle speed.  I gripped her Range Rover’s leather cushion and swallowed any exclamations of dismay as we ricocheted through Edinburgh’s late afternoon traffic.  When we finally slid into an underground parking spot and emerged into the bustling festivity of the Princes Street Christmas Market, I felt the tension of imminent disaster abandon my shoulders.

“Where to first, then?” Geillis asked, looking far too animated by the prospect of accompanying someone while they did their Christmas shopping.

Geillis and I had kept in touch and met for coffee a few times over the past months.  When I explained that I wouldn’t be taking any more cooking classes at Ginger Snap because Jamie was giving me at-home lessons, her reaction was a moonbeam grin.

“Look at ye, wee vixen!  I ne’er wouldha thought ye had it in ya, Claire.  Tho I canna say as I blame ye.”

No matter how much I protested that I was together with Frank and that my relationship with Jamie was purely professional, she refused to believe me.  The ongoing absence of a ring from my left hand didn’t help.

“Now,” Geillis exclaimed once we’d taken in the sights and sounds of the market, “let’s have a keek at yer list.  Where should we start?”

I pulled out my phone and opened the Notes app.  As she read, my friend’s nose wrinkled in confusion.

“Trouser socks, shoe stays, Moleskine notebook, Rive Gauche...  who are ye shopping for, yer grandparents?”

“No,” I protested.  “The first three are for Frank.  The perfume is for me.”

When I explained that Frank had made a list of the items he would like to give me for Christmas, Geillis grew incensed.

“Ye mean he has ye doin’ his gift buying fer him?  Tha’s the least romantic thing I’ve e’er heard.  Do ye even like Rive Gauche, Claire?  And dinna lie tae me, fer I can read yer feelings all o’er yer face.”

Truthfully, I didn’t much care for the flowery scent.  My personal taste ran more towards woodsy or herbaceous aromas.  But it was Frank’s favourite, and it pleased me to please him.  Or it had.  I was beginning to wonder when it would be my turn to please myself.

“Right,” Geillis interrupted my thoughts.  “Marks and Sparks will do jes fine for yer wee granny list.   And then you and I are going shopping fer yer real gift.”

Geillis was a force to be reckoned with in a retail environment.  She navigated like a guided missile from one department to the next.   Twenty minutes later, we were back on the pavement, which glistened with the colourful reflections of decorations strung above.

“Your car is the other way,” I explained as Geillis turned left.

“Aye, tis, but our destination is right o’er here.  House of Fraser.  See?  Tis practically calling yer name, Claire.”

Inside the venerable old building was an astonishing multi-tiered arcade reaching over five stories to a massive skylit ceiling.  The central space was dominated by a fifteen metre-high Christmas tree (a Fraser fir, of course) and every archway of every arcade was dripping with lights.  The impression was like stepping into a Fabergé egg.

Geillis dragged me, slack-jawed, towards the ladies’ wear section.  Circling the racks like a hawk on the wind, she eyed my body, sizing me up quite literally, then thrust several pieces into my hands.

“Geillis,” I hissed, wary of the sales staff hovering nearby, no doubt smelling an excessive commission in the offing.  “I don’t need a new outfit.  And I certainly don’t need,” I shook the garments in question, “something like this.  Wherever would I wear it?”

“Well, fer starters, ye’d wear it tae dinner t’night.  I dinna wish tae offend ye, Claire, but I canna in good conscience allow ye tae set foot in the Timberyard dressed fer a job interview as a primary school teacher.”

With that she shoved me in the direction of the changing rooms.  Deciding to humour her, I was unbuttoning my top when two lacy bits of nothing came flying over the door.

“Start wi’ these.  And dinna think I willna notice if ye’re no’ wearing them!”

I stripped down to my panties, bemusedly wondering how she knew my exact bra size. 

Upon seeing me exit the dressing room in her choice of clothing, Geillis let out a squeal of delight.   She insisted I rip out the tags and leave the store wearing my new outfit, declaring it was her Christmas gift to me.  

I felt tremendously self-conscious as we walked towards the restaurant.  The aubergine velvet jeans clung to my legs in an unfamiliar way and the black turtleneck, while technically not revealing, hinted at kink with its many heavy zippers and fastenings.  Together with my unruly hair, unstraightened for once, I felt like another woman entirely.  I didn’t recognize her, but I felt like she might be someone I’d like to get to know.

The Timberyard was a modern restaurant in a rugged old warehouse, not far from the farmer’s market I’d visited with Jamie.  We were joined there by several of Geillis’ friends, and we ate, drank and laughed until my sides were sore. 

As I wobbled to the loo, I noticed the bartender following me with an appreciative gaze.  It had been a long time since a man had looked at me that way, and it gave me a guilty thrill.

We left the restaurant just before midnight. I pulled Geillis into an impulsive hug.

“Wha’ was that for, hen?” she asked.

“Nothing.  Everything.  Just, thank you for being you, Geil.”

“Och, tis my pleasure, lass.  I only want tae see ye happy.  Now, what do ye say to a digestif?”

After only a slight protest on my part, the two of us piled into an Uber.  Our destination was another restaurant, this time in a converted whisky warehouse by the harbour in Leith.  It was well past last sitting, but when I mentioned this to Geillis she explained away my concern. 

“I ken the owner, who’s also the chef.  Tis a popular spot fer locals in the restaurant scene tae meet after they close up fer a few drinks afore heading home tae their beds.”

Inside, the walls were rough stone, supported in places by industrial metal beams.  The kitchen was open to the main dining area, and I grinned as I thought of Frank’s strong opinion on the matter.  Near the back of the room, lit by dim naked bulbs and the glow from several open fireplaces, was a huge square table surrounded by nearly twenty chairs upholstered in bright yellow plaid.  Around the table was gathered a motley assortment of men and women, all talking and laughing and sipping on a variety of drinks.  And in their midst, his copper hair shining in the firelight, sat Jamie.

A shout went up from the table as Geillis approached.  I hung back, tugging at the hem of my new turtleneck as though I could stretch it to cover my arse.  Besides Jamie, I recognized Jenny, Angus and Murtagh, but I only had eyes for the big ginger chef.  He sat at one corner, probably in deference to his long legs which were stretched out before him, wrapped in black denim.  A black leather jacket hung over the chair behind him.  He looked dangerous.  It was a very good look for him.

Dragging me by the elbow, Geillis nudged and bumped Angus to one side despite his vulgar protests, then practically pushed me down into the chair directly next to the chef.  With a smug smile of satisfaction, she then retired to the opposite side of the table.

I looked anywhere but directly at Jamie, but I could feel his butane eyes on me.  I was certain he would scorch right through my outer layers and down to where Geillis’ choice in lingerie burned against my tender skin.  The noise from the rest of the table faded away.

“Ye look bonnie t’night, Arsonist.”  His voice was low and gruff and it sent a quickening through my veins.

“Thank you, Jamie. It was Geillis’ Christmas gift to me, and I feel, well... let’s just say it isn’t my usual look.”

“It suits ye, I think.”  He reached out and lightly touched the silver tab of a zipper that ended near my wrist, setting it swinging.  I swallowed and looked frantically around.  Several open bottles of liquor stood nearby. Grabbing the nearest one, I poured myself a generous serving and knocked it back, all in one go.  I tried to steady my breathing.

“Look, Jamie...”

Just then a blond man in chef’s whites called to Jamie from across the table.  An exchange involving a lot of Scottish cursing and an off-colour reference to someone’s lobster pot ensued.  I tried to convince myself I needed to leave.  It was late, I was half-drunk, and whatever I intended to say to Jamie should definitely wait for another moment.  Maybe never.

A hand on my thigh broke my preoccupation.

“Sorry, Arsonist, ye were sayin’ something?”

I wet my lips, frantically trying to recall anything but the feeling of Jamie’s strong fingers, stroking me through the velvet of my jeans.

“I...”

At that moment, the woman on Jamie’s far side broke into song.  The rest of the table cheered and clapped along, and it was impossible to hear anything except the concussive pounding of my heart against my eardrums.

Jamie grabbed my clammy hand.

“Come wi’ me,” he instructed, grabbing our outerwear and pulling me towards the door.  Geillis watched our departure with all the excitement of a child on Christmas morning.

Outside the air was dense and cold, a briny slap after the stuffy warmth of the restaurant.  Jamie obviously had a destination in mind, and we walked hand-in-hand along the cobbled streets for several minutes before finally emerging at the port.  A jetty struck out into the inky sea, and it was there that we ended up.  Besides a few gulls and the winking of a nearby lighthouse, we were all alone.  The sodium street lights caught Jamie’s curls and made them burn.

“Forgive me, Arsonist.  I couldna hear myself think in there.  Tho, come tae think of it, tis no’ much better now.”  Rather than release me, as he spoke Jamie stroked my hand, running calloused fingers over each vein and every knuckle.  I don’t think he even realized he was doing it, but it stole every thought from my head.

“No ring,” he remarked, stroking the finger in question.

“No,” I whispered in response.  

And then it burst out of me, like a tidal wave of feeling that I never saw coming.  I told him everything.  My childhood roaming the globe with my uncle, pre-occupied and rootless, dreaming of stability.  Meeting Frank at Harvard, and realizing that he represented all the things that my life to date had lacked: structure, security, a solid foundation, a home.  And how it took moving to Scotland and coming into contact with a group of near-strangers to make me realize that the price I had paid for that stability was higher than I’d ever imagined.  I’d given up my dream of becoming a doctor. I’d become so lost in Frank’s vision of who I should be that I’d almost lost sight of who I actually was.

By the time the flood of words left me, I was in Jamie’s arms, crying into his leather jacket.  He hushed me with quiet murmurs and languorous stroking of my hair, as one would a child who has woken from a nightmare.

I stepped out of his embrace and rubbed my sleeve across my face.  I must have looked an absolute mess, but he still watched me with those earnest, patient eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I began, “I don’t know what...”

“Claire,” he interrupted.  I’d never before realized just how many consonants were in my given name.  “Ye dinna need tae apologize tae me.  But ye may want tae consider an apology tae yerself.”  At my raised eyebrow, he continued.

“I’m no’ the kind of man tae tell another what they should and shouldna do.  But ye strike me as someone who’s made decisions fer the right reasons, yet ended up in the wrong place.”  Here he paused, as though carefully weighing his words.  “There’s no sin in changin’ yer mind, Arsonist.  Tis very well tae be hungry, so long as ye ken what ye hunger for.”

“And what do you hunger for, James Fraser?”  The provocative words had left my lips before I had the chance to censor them.  His answer came in the form of a blistering look that left no doubt as to its meaning.  Then he gathered himself, banking the fire I’d unconsciously ignited.

“Many things.  Regular, ordinary things, mostly.  My family’s health and happiness.  A faster bike.  My own restaurant.”

“Like Tom’s there?” I asked, gesturing towards the harbour.

“Och, Tom is a braw chef, and worthy o’ every accolade tha’s been showered upon him.  But the hospitality scene in Edinburgh is cut-throat, an’ suitable locations cost a fortune.  Nah, Jenny and I want tae buy back our childhood home in the Highlands.  Tis called Lallybroch, and when our Da passed, our Mam sold it tae her brother.  We’d turn it inta a country inn, wi’ Jenny running the lodging side o’ things and I the dining.  Tha’s the dream anyway,” he ended with a shrug.

I rested my hand on his forearm.  “That sounds like a wonderful plan, Jamie.”

Before he could reply, an enormous yawn burst from my lungs.

“Time tae get ye home tae yer bed, Arsonist,” Jamie grinned.   “Come, I’ll give ye a ride.”

“Wait, haven’t you been drinking?” I inquired as we walked back down the jetty.

“Three years sober,” he explained with no hint of embarrassment.  “I went somewhere pretty dark after my Mam died, an’ it took a near-fatal crash tae scare me straight.”  His eyes squinted in a poor approximation of a wink as he added, “Besides, there are better ways tae chase a rush than in the bottom of a bottle.”

“Such as?” I asked brazenly.

Which was how I found myself on the back on a black motorcycle, my arms twined around Jamie’s waist.  Rather than take me directly home, he steered us north, following the coast.  It was very late, with hardly another vehicle about.  We merged onto the motorway, and Jamie picked up speed.  My thighs tightened around his lean hips, the vibration of the motor beneath us shivering up my spine.  As we emerged beneath the hastate lights of the Queensferry Bridge, I stretched my arms wide, icy air ripping against the sleeves of my jacket.  I laughed, although no-one could hear me.  I yelled, and only the wind yelled back.  I was flying.

***

It was nearly dawn when Jamie pulled up in front of my flat.  My legs thrummed, my eyes were dry with fatigue, and my heart ached, but I felt better than I could ever remember.  I handed Jamie back his spare helmet and shook out my curls.  He watched me in that half-sleepy, half-vigilant way of his that I now recognized as desire.

“I don’t know what I could ever say to thank you, Jamie.”

“Ye needn’t say anything at all, Arsonist.  Nae matter what ye decide, it has been my very great honour tae get tae know you.”

Without another word, he kick-started the engine and drove off into the early morning mist.

“Goodbye,” I whispered to his vanishing shadow.

***

The lamp above the couch was lit, and Frank lay still beneath its glow.  I realized he had fallen asleep waiting for me to come home.  Instead of regret, what I felt in that moment was pity.

The sound of my jacket being unzipped woke him.  He blinked in confusion and then in shock.

“I’m very sorry if you were worried,” I began.

“Worried?  Do you have any idea what time it is?  My God, Claire, I don’t know what to make of you these days.  You’ve never behaved irresponsibly before, and now you’re out at all hours and you’re wearing,” he gestured wildly with his hand at my new outfit which I had, quite honestly, forgotten I was wearing.  “And your hair, Claire!” he finished, as though the manic state of my curls was definitive evidence of my fall from grace.  Despite my exhaustion, I stood tall.

“Frank, we need to talk.”

[suituuup]

pieces - chapter thirteen

Five years ago, Chloe dropped off the face of the Earth. Beca didn’t expect to see her again dancing in a strip club, out of all places.

rated: E (drug use and emotional abuse in early chapters)

ao3 link

*

It didn’t take long for Beca to realize that Sarah was right. 

She probably had been oblivious to her feelings for Chloe or chalked them up to close friendship because Sarah was in the picture, but as soon as her guilt over breaking-up with Sarah faded away a couple of weeks ago, it felt as though a veil lifted. 

Her whole being lit up every time she saw Chloe, and she craved those soft moments with her, either talking about Bean, or working on the nursery, or cuddling up on the couch. 

Beca didn’t know if Chloe felt the same way, and even if she did, she was probably miles away from being ready to launch into a relationship, between the baby and her recovery. 

She focused on her music in the meantime, writing three more songs to go with that one piece she came up with the day after she saw Chloe again. One was about being brave, another about getting redemption, and the last one about finding happiness. All about Chloe, and how much her journey inspired Beca. 

Beca came home pretty late from the office that night, wrapping up the final versions of all four songs with Luke. She found Chloe on the couch watching a sitcom and padded over. Chloe was now shy of 22 weeks and sporting the most adorable baby bump.

They had worked on the nursery over the last two weekends, hanging cute, colorful pictures of several woodland animals and sticking colorful, minimalist tree wall decals on the opposite wall. The crib, changing table, and car seat had been ordered, and Beca was planning a surprise baby shower with Aubrey, a month after the Bellas reunion, which was taking place in two weeks at a cabin upstate. 

“Hey,” Beca murmured, plopping down beside her. “How was your day?” 

“Pretty good. Bean and I went for a walk, then we met up with Aubrey for lunch, and napped for most of the afternoon. She’s kicking like crazy right now, though.” 

Beca grinned. “Yeah?” She cleared her throat, hesitant. “Can I… feel?” 

“Of course,” Chloe said softly, taking Beca’s hand and setting it on the left side of her stomach. “That’s where her foot was just a second ago.” 

Beca folded her legs under her and sat back on her heels to be more comfortable, silence descending upon them as they waited. After a minute, she glanced at Chloe. “Maybe it’s not strong enough to be felt from the outside, yet?” 

“No, it’s not that. I think she’s stopped.” 

“Oh,” Beca let out in slight disappointment. Just as she was about to pull her hand away, she felt a light tap against her palm and gasped. “Oh my god, I felt it!” 

A giggle burst from Chloe’s mouth. “That was a strong one.” 

“That’s amazing,” Beca mused aloud, her voice sticking to her throat a bit. Yes, she was about to cry over Chloe’s baby kicking, that’s how soft this whole thing had made her. “Jesus Beale, your kid is turning me into a giant puddle of mush.” 

Chloe chuckled, moving Beca’s hand to a new spot and keeping hers on top. Bean kicked again, pulling another gasp from Beca. 

“Does it hurt?” Beca found herself asking, her gaze sweeping upwards to watch Chloe’s expression. 

“It’s a little bit uncomfortable whenever she kicks in the ribs, but other than that, no.” Chloe moved her hand to another spot, tracking the next kick. “How was your day? You’re home pretty late.” 

“Yeah, Luke and I added the finishing touches to my EP.” 

Chloe’s eyes lit up. “When is it going to be out?” 

“We still have to get the art for the cover, so probably in a couple of weeks, right after the Bellas reunion.” Chloe nodded slowly. “Are you excited to see the girls?” 

“I’m… a bit nervous to be honest. What are they gonna think?” 

Beca smiled. “They’re going to think that you’re a badass.” Chloe broke eye-contact, shaking her head as looked down to her lap. “Hey, I’m serious. None of them are going to judge you. And just like Aubrey and I, they’re going to be so happy to have you back in their lives.” 

Chloe hesitantly met her gaze. “You really think so?” 

A firm nod. “I know so.” 

Chloe managed a smile and a faint nod. “Okay.” 

The following two weeks were busy for Beca as she focused on promoting her EP and tied some loose ends before the Bellas reunion so she wouldn’t be bothered that weekend. Early on that mid-August Saturday morning, they set off to Lake Placid, having planned to meet the Bellas there by lunchtime. Chloe didn’t mention anything, but Beca could tell she was nervous from all the cooking she had done in the past few days, enough to feed an army. 

She was glad, however, that Chloe used that as a stress-reliever as opposed to falling back into bad habits. 

They made it to the cabin Beca rented just before 1 pm, and Beca heard Chloe suck in a sharp breath as soon as she killed the engine, her expression similar to when they made it to her parents’ two months ago.

“It’ll be okay,” Beca murmured, covering Chloe’s hand with her own and squeezing it. She was a bit worried about there being alcohol, as Chloe insisted they shouldn’t have to restrain themselves for her sake. 

“Thanks,” Chloe breathed out, flipping her hand over and holding Beca’s for a moment. “Okay, let’s do this.” 

Most of them had made it there last night as they were flying in, shouts and laughter carrying from the backyard, where the outdoor pool was. It was sunny and way too hot for Beca’s liking, but she didn’t say a word, as being pregnant in that weather was definitely worse. 

If Chloe was uncomfortable with the temperature, she didn’t let it show, looking gorgeous in her yellow maternity summer dress. 

Stepping inside, they set the food bags on the kitchen island and Beca walked towards the open bay window, Chloe following behind. 

“Hey nerds,” she called out as she stepped out on the patio just as Amy made a cannonball, the splashing water nearly drenching her. “Dude!” 

“Sup Shortstack?” Amy greeted as she emerged a few beats later. 

“Chloe!” Beca turned around to see Stacie striding over and hugging Chloe tightly. “I’ve missed you.” 

“Hey Stace,” Chloe murmured, embracing her back. “I’ve missed you, too.” 

As Beca had predicted, the Bellas took it all in one stride, greeting Chloe like it hadn’t been over six years since they last saw one another and making her feel like a part of the group without a second thought. 

Now able to relax, Beca helped herself to a drink, watching from afar as Chloe met Stacie’s three-year-old daughter for the first time, a fond smile etched in her features. It was clear from that first exchange with Bella that Chloe would rock this mom thing, given how much of a natural she was around kids. 

After lunch, the girls made the most of the pool, either playing various games in the water or sunbathing in the lounge chairs. Beca was content soaking it all in at the table, sipping on a margarita. Her gaze often wandered to Chloe as she chatted with Jessica while reclining on a chair, clad in a bikini with one hand rubbing her belly. 

It was easy for her thoughts to escape towards what it could be if she and Chloe were to become something more. Raising Bean together, buying a house somewhere outside the city, getting a dog, possibly getting married...

“Oi, Mitchell.” 

Beca snapped out of her reverie, clearing her throat in embarrassment as Stacie plopped down next to her. “What’s up, Stace?” 

“You good?” She asked, cocking an eyebrow. “You looked like you were having a moment.” 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Beca assured her and smiled, setting her drink down before pushing to her feet. She wanted to get in on the pool action, but her bathing suit was upstairs in her overnight bag. “I’m gonna go change.” 

“Be quiet if you’re going upstairs?” Stacie asked. “I just put Bella down for her nap.” 

“No problem.” 

Beca headed to her room and changed into her bikini, sliding her denim shorts back on and grabbing her sunscreen as she didn’t want to resemble a lobster tonight. As she quietly headed down the hallway towards the stairs, she couldn’t help but freeze when she heard her name behind a door left slightly ajar. 

“Feelings? For Beca?” 

It was Aubrey’s voice. Beca knew she shouldn’t eavesdrop, but she really couldn’t get her feet to move, curiosity rooting them down. 

A sigh that belonged to Chloe followed. “I was convinced it was just my hormones going wild at first. But then something happened the other night when she felt Bean kick for the first time. You should have seen her reaction, Bree... she was completely moved by it, and it’s like I felt my heart double in size. And I think about her non-stop, even when I need to… take care of myself.” 

“Oh my god, ew, Chloe!” Aubrey hissed while Beca nearly choked on her saliva, her entire body feeling as though it just caught on fire. “I don’t need to hear that.” 

“I’m sorry!” Chloe whispered, stifling a laugh. “What I mean by that is that it’s not just platonic love or gratitude because of everything she did for me lately. I’m physically attracted to her, too. It feels exactly the same as it did in Barden.” 

Beca’s heart stuttered at that. Chloe had feelings for her back then, too? 

“Are you going to tell her?” Aubrey asked softly. 

“I…” Chloe hesitated. “I want to. But I’m just getting my life back together, I’m not ready for a relationship yet. And I’m also… scared she might not feel the same way.” 

Beca forced herself to walk away, knowing that what she was doing wasn’t right. Her brain reeled from the onslaught of information all evening long. She was physically there, but her mind felt thousands of miles away, her thoughts going back and forth between that night at Barden, and if she should tell Chloe about how she felt. 

She retreated to her room before the others, not that it surprised anyone as she was, along with Aubrey, considered the grandma of the group. She had just slipped into bed when a knock sounded at the door.

“Come in,” she called out softly. 

The door opened just wide enough for Chloe to step inside, and she shut it behind her, padding over to the bed. “You okay? You’ve seemed off tonight.” 

Beca nodded. “Yeah, I’m okay. I promise.” She patted the space next to her. “Wanna hang out here for a bit?” 

As Chloe nodded and shuffled to lie next to her atop the covers, Beca felt her heartbeat quicken. It was odd, knowing for certain Chloe had feelings for her and holding the cards in her own hands. 

“Today was a lot of fun,” Chloe murmured as she sat propped against the pillows, bracing a hand over her stomach. “You were right. The girls don’t care about my past.” 

“Well, your past doesn’t define you,” Beca said with a soft smile. “I’m glad you’re having a good time.” 

“Are you nervous about tomorrow? About your EP coming out?” 

Beca shook her head. “Not really. I didn’t write those songs with the goal to hit the top of the charts, so I don’t exactly feel any pressure.” At Chloe’s slight tilt of the head, she added, “I wrote them because they helped me work through some of my feelings. Especially the first one.” 

Twisting her head to the right, she grabbed her phone and her headphones, plugging them in before gently setting them over Chloe’s ears. She puffed out a breath and pressed play, willing her ratcheting heart to chill the fuck out as Chloe closed her eyes and listened. 

The song only lasted a few minutes, but it felt like the longest of Beca’s life. Chloe’s lids slowly opened, and she lowered the headphones so that they hung around her neck, her gaze full of questions. 

“It’s about us,” she whispered, no doubt having picked up the few hints woven into the lyrics. 

Beca swallowed, nodding. She had never felt at ease pouring her heart out, and she sucked in a deep breath through her nose, puffing it out through her lips. “You remember when I told you about listening to your gut?” Chloe gave a faint nod. “That’s what I should have done that morning after because not telling you how I felt was the biggest mistake of my life.”

She briefly glanced down. “I had broken Jesse’s heart just a little while before, and I was scared that I just wasn’t made for relationships. So I didn’t say anything, because I couldn’t break your heart, either. I would have never forgiven myself if I did.” 

Chloe remained silent for half-a-minute, processing Beca’s words. “I knew you were in love with me,” she admitted softly. “And I had the feeling you were just scared, so I didn’t push you. I figured… you just needed time, and I was ready to wait for you. But then…” she cleared her throat, her eyes flickering down. “My life skidded out of control.” 

Beca’s heart suddenly feels heavy with the weight of regret. She can’t help but wonder how different things could have been, had she been honest with Chloe that morning. But she willed her mind to come back to the present because there was no point in wallowing in the should-haves and what-ifs. Not when she was being given a second chance. 

No chickening out this time. She wasn’t a kid anymore. 

“I want to be with you, Chlo,” she murmured, her throat shrinking with emotions as she forced her gaze to remain locked with Chloe’s. “These past few months… living with you and being by your side through this journey-- it made me fall in love with you all over again.” 

Chloe closed her eyes, and a few tears toppled down her cheeks. She released a long breath. “I want that, too. I do,” she croaked out, and something that had been poking at Beca’s heart suddenly vanished. Chloe reached out to swipe her palm over both cheeks, her other hand sliding into Beca’s. “I just need some time. I need to find a more stable mindset before I open that door.” 

“I know,” Beca whispered, blinking back her own tears. “And I’ll wait, this time. For however long it takes. I promise.” 

“I know,” Chloe echoed, her thumb slowly stroking Beca’s knuckles back and forth. “I trust you.” 

They shared a soft smile, and Beca didn’t think she had felt this light, ever. 

“I guess I should head to bed,” Chloe said after a moment of comfortable silence. 

Beca nodded. “Okay.” Releasing Chloe’s hand, she rubbed her palm over Chloe’s belly gently. “Night Bean.” 

Chloe stood up and cast her short wave when she made it to the door, shutting it softly behind her.

[btsmutimagines]

Washed Up (M)

A/N: Idk why I’m embarrassed to admit this but I listen to Korean boyfriend ASMR sometimes because I’m a sad lonely hoe and I love deep voices so I listened to one but I can’t find it anymore T-T however I vividly remember how it went down so... enjoy I guess

Requested (forever ago):  Can you write a dom taehyung smut , where he is protective and possessive in celebration for taehyung's blue hair? +  Daddy kink , over simulation, marking/giving hickeys , spanking , orgasm denial , body worship and possession kink? (was asking for kinks at the time lol)

Word Count: 4.1k

THe BLUE HAIR STARTED THIS FSKLDKL

Have you ever started the day, feeling ready for whatever life wants to toss at you but as the day progresses, every possible worst-case scenario you could muster up starts to feel like your reality?

That’s the kind of day you were having.

It started with your car stopping halfway to your job because you forgot to fill your tank and you had to hitchhike with a stranger to a gas station who kept insisting that they could drop you off at work but you weren’t about to leave your baby on the side of the road for god knows how long. Your eyes kept looking at your rear-view mirror, making sure that your ‘goodwill’ stranger wasn’t following you to work.

Thanks to your forgetfulness, you were late to work where you met with your supervisor breathing down your neck because you were apparently scheduled for a meeting that was behind schedule due to your tardiness and your supervisor had to roughly start on his own.

You jumped in, trying to not mess up the entire presentation but you ended up messing up on some of the quarterly sales to be corrected by one of the investors. You knocked over a chart, the PowerPoint presentation that you spent weeks on wouldn’t open for a good 20 minutes which was filled with you and your supervisor awkwardly trying to joke with the investors. Oh, not to mention that your coworker had mentioned to you after you got up that you missed a button on your blouse so whenever you leaned over, you were flashing them a nice view of your bra and cleavage.

Hell, maybe that will distract them from the train wreck of a presentation.

You just plopped back into your seat, trying to start your next presentation and making sure that it opened properly every time you saved and exited it. Amid your work, one of the senior girls came over to you and started to make small chat with you.

“Oh, hey hun.”

“Oh, hi.”

“You seemed really busy.”

“Kind of. Is there something you need?”

“Oh, Y/N, what makes you think that I only came over so you could do something for me?” Dunno, maybe because the last time you came over to chat, you left me with 15-page assignments that were due the next morning? While your ass went out for drinks with one of your ‘companions’ You had chills run down your spine at the thought of this woman and how she gets around a man she is pining over.

It had nothing to do with her age (she has solidified cougar status), but it was the overly seductive side that she tries to portray. She tries to mystify every man she takes a liking to, but it shouldn’t take too much to get someone who likes you as well to get to the hint, but she liked to overemphasize her interest.

Maybe it’s your way of thinking, seeing as your boyfriend could be as dense as men come, but you like to think the old ‘being yourself’ trick works well.

She still gets her men, so that’s all that matters to her, you guess?

“But since you were such a dear to ask,” here we go again.

“I was supposed to stay to midnight to examine one of my newest client’s records, but I promised my sister that I would watch her kids while she and her husband went out for dinner.” You internally sighed, knowing that she was probably making an elaborate excuse, but you also had no reason why you wanted to get out of it anyways.

“Of course, wouldn’t want to leave children unattended.” You said with a hint of sarcasm, but she still dropped the huge binder on your desk anyway. She took her high heeled self away from yourself with a fake smile before going back to her cubicle on the other side of the room.

One of these days she’s going to really need you and you’re going to make sure that you have some kind of plans that were so foolproof that she’ll have to actually, you know, do her damn job.

You checked your watch, only seeing that it was 10. You leaned your head back a bit, stretched your arms before getting back to fixing your presentation.

“Hey, Y/N?” You sighed, looking at one of your coworkers walking up to you. He only came over to you to do one of two things: awkwardly ask you to go to lunch with him or fix the copier because you ‘had the magic touch’. You were pretty sure he just wanted to watch you squat to fill the paper or to lean over to check if it was even plugged in.

“What is it?”

“I was working with the copier, but it wasn’t working again, I was wondering if you would check it out for me?” You got up, following him to the copy room. The copier was on this time, you saw that it was just waiting for confirmation before printing and you accepted.

“You didn’t know how to confirm a print job?”

“It wasn’t working before? It wouldn’t print when I confirmed, you see.” The copier printed a single page and you handed it over to him and he stopped you from leaving.

“Don’t you want to make sure it worked?”

“It clearly did since it printed if you would excuse me-”

“Just look at it for me?”

“Uh.”

“What I mean is that, wouldn’t you feel partially responsible if the copier screwed up after helping me out?”

“No.”

“What?”

“You broke the copier and I couldn’t fix it. I’m not maintenance. Now, can you like take two steps to the left?” You were ready to tackle this dude, not really caring about what the office would think but he flipped over the page in front of you.

It was simple, it had the picture of him holding a sign saying ‘lunch?’.

“I wonder how much Mrs. Kang would appreciate you using office supplies to ask a taken woman to lunch.”

“Taken? By who?”

“None of your business. Now, move it.” You rubbed your temples, regretting even trying to help that kid. You had to admit, his persistence would be valuable if it was for actual work.

You worked through your lunch, settling for food from the cafeteria and your senior coworker walked past you.

“Aw, you poor thing.”

“What?”

“Having to eat from the cafeteria. That young man in our department just treated me to lobster.” What? That kid could afford lobster for lunch? You thought he would just take you to the cafeteria and try to awkwardly feed you or something, but not some fancy lunch? Now, your soup seemed pretty inferior to the lobster you could have been digging into…

“That poor boy told me how you rejected him so harshly when he just wanted to treat you to a nice lunch since you worked so hard.” Of course, she ate up his sob story, he was footing the damn bill.

“I don’t think it would be appropriate to let another man take me out to lunch when I have a boyfriend.”

“You? A boyfriend?” She laughed mockingly, you rolled your eyes and faced her.

“Honey, you should explore your options. Men are like a buffet, why restrict yourself to only your favourites when there are so many things that you can sample?”

“Because my boyfriend is like my favourite restaurant, sure there are things that I know I’ll love but there are more things that I would discover. To everyone else, it’s just another restaurant but I love it.”

“Ugh. Listening to you is going to make me vomit the lovely lobster I just enjoyed. Enjoy your little soup.” She basically spat the last line at you, you flipped her off when her back was turned to you.

Without any further interruptions, you fixed your presentation and began to read through the client records that Ms. ‘Men are buffet’ should have been looking at. She even walked past you, exclaiming how excited she was to get home after a long day at work.

The office began to dwindle in people, your office light being one of the few that were still on and you started to yawn when you were reading the plans for the product. It was only 6 in the evening; a small nap couldn’t hurt…

You shut the binder, placing it on your table and placing your keyboard up on the base of your monitor to give your arms more room. As soon as you shut your eyes, you started to doze off.

You woke up to the sound of your ringtone next to your ear and you groggily answered.

What do you want?

Is that really how you want to start this conversation, baby?

Yes. If you can’t tell me why you decided to grace me with this phone call, I’m hanging up

Are you forgetting that you said that you wanted to come over tonight and it’s now 10?

No, I-shit, I did, didn’t I?

Yes, Ms. Forgetful.

I’ll be right there.

Wait-

You hung up before he could finish, turning off your light and grabbing your coat. You rushed down to the parking lot and getting in your car. It was raining outside, you forgot to check the weather before you left the house, but you had a car, so it wouldn’t matter, right?

That is, if your car would actually start.

“Fuck.” You saw the battery symbol light up, you cursed out loud and hit the steering wheel. You got out of the car, locking it and decided to trudge in the rain. His place wasn’t that far away, and you didn’t want to spend the money on a taxi.

So, you show up to your boyfriend, Taehyung’s doorstep, shivering and wet from the rain and he opened the door. He looked all warm and comfy in his sweats and a loose shirt and began to ‘tsk’ at you.

“If you let me finish, Y/N, I would have said that it was raining and that we could have met for breakfast or something.”

“Well, you were talking too slow.”

“I think you know how fast I can be, baby.”

“Are you going to stand there and boast or let me in?”

“My, my, you’re snappier today.”

“Well, my warm and dry boyfriend is just chatting up a storm while I’m cold, shivering and dealing with a kinda shitty day, thanks for asking by the way.”

“That was my next question, I swear.”

“Mhm.” He pulled you inside, shutting the door behind you and you looked at him with your arms crossed.

“To be fair, you’re the one that showed up late.”

“Well, I got extra work shoved on me because one of my coworkers, you know the one with the curly auburn hair that pinned in a weird updo?”

“The one that flirted with me when you went to get drinks?”

“I swear any relatively young-looking man with a pulse is her type.”

“Wait, relatively young-looking? What does that even mean?”

“You have a baby face.”

“Excuse you, I look extremely manly.”

“Oh, honey.” You said, touching his arm.

“God, don’t talk like that woman.”

“Sorry, she kept saying that to me today and I need a detox from her.”

“Agreed.”

“Anyways, she shoved her work on me to finish. Then some dude in the office asked me out to lunch. I said no, don’t worry yourself, Mr. Jealous.” You could see the relief wash over him as you said the last sentence, but it was quickly replaced with fake shock.

“I didn’t even say anything.”

“Your expression speaks volumes, but I missed out on some lobster.”

“Pfft. Lobster. Baby, I could get you a four-course seafood extravaganza. Calamari, lobster, crab, whatever you name it.”

“Mussels?”

“Of course.”

“Shrimp?”

“Baby, who do you think I am?”

“Maybe, you’re not too bad, I guess.  You would make better company, anyways.”

“I can do much more than that.”

“And what’s that?”

“How about I get a nice, warm shower running, give you the one sweater you like to wear,”

“I like to wear it or you like seeing me in it?”

“Why can’t it be both, love?”

“What else?”

“And we can have some nice cuddles while we watch that movie you were talking about?”

“Hm. You seem to know me pretty well.”

“Only been at this for almost 2 years, I think I have some hindsight now.”

“That smart brain of yours should probably tell those feet to start moving.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He said, turning on his heel and walking to the bathroom. You giggled a little as he saluted you before entering the bathroom.

“Such a dork.” You took off your shoes, placing them on the rack next to his and peeling off your coat. A shiver made you rub your arms with your hands and rush down to the bathroom.

“Didn’t think you would come in so soon.”

“Well, you did say a nice shower, not a bath.”

“Better warm you up faster, maybe the snappiness will wash away.”

“Eh.” You exclaimed, slightly offended and he chuckled.

“I was joking, babe.”

“Oh, so you think you’re funny now, huh?”

“When wasn’t I funny?”

“Were you ever funny?”

“That’s just a low blow, you know that’s a core part of my being.”

“You kind of walked into that one, bud.”

“Fair.” He began to unbutton your blouse, your wet bra accentuating your breasts and hardened nipple due to the cold rain.

“It was really cold.”

“Whatever you say, baby.” He stood close, your face gently pressed into his chest as he unzipped your pencil skirt and sliding it down. He took his time with your stockings, his face conveniently in front of your panties and he hooked his fingers along the strap.

“Control yourself, mister.”

“Of course, where are my manners? You can’t be the only one naked here.”

“That’s not what I…” He stood up abruptly, tossing his shirt over his head to reveal his torso. You appreciated the fact he wasn’t a gym monkey like Jungkook, besides it’s fine to play with his stomach.

“Cute.”

“What kind of reaction is that?”

“What? Your tummy is cute.” He sighed, you poked his tummy and he tried to fight the smile on his face before holding your hands.

“You’re ruining the mood.”

“What mood? I’m taking a shower and you took off your shirt for no reason.”

“I never said that you would be washing yourself. It’s more relaxing if someone else does it.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Plus, we can spend more time together, we missed out on some quality time.”

“Fine, but don’t do that thing.”

“What thing?”

“Don’t be coy. You know exactly what I mean, where you put on that smouldering look and act all like Edward from twilight-esque.”

“Are you getting a fever?” He placed the back of his hand on your forehead and you smacked his hand. You slipped out of your underwear and getting behind the curtain. The warm water hitting your skin instantly made you feel better, Taehyung following you not too long after.

“I can shower myself just fine, Taehyung.”

“Y/N.” He singsonged your name, wrapping his arms around you and resting his chin on your shoulder. He planted a soft kiss to your shoulder.

“I just want to help you relax, you’ve had such a long day and deserve to be pampered, hmm?” He didn’t give a real chance to respond, grabbing the loofah he kept for you when you stayed over and added some soap.

“Just close your eyes and let me take care of you.” He rubbed the loofah before gently scrubbing your skin. You listened to his whimsical hums as he glides the loofah as he wished.

“May I?”

“If you have to.” He fondled your chest, him trying to be innocent as possible about it. Although you didn’t miss the gentle brushing against your nipples or him needed to cup more of your breasts because he ‘couldn’t miss a single spot’.

He washed your back, you sensed him getting down his knees as he washed your ass. The way the loofah rubbed against your ass in a gentle circular motion, his hand lightly touching as he moved over the curvature.

He turned you to face him, letting the water now hit your back and his hand touched your leg.

“Lift your leg.” He commanded, you silently obeyed, and he got eye level with your leg. You watched him wash with long strokes, licking his lips a bit as he switched legs.

“All done.”  He stood while saying this, his fingers stroked up your thigh. You pressed your thighs together as a result, looking away from Taehyung who gently turned your head to meet his eyes.

“Let me return the favour.” You quietly said, averting your eyes from his face and grabbed the loofah he used for himself and a dollop of his body wash.

You couldn’t help but stare at the way the soap would wash off his torso, almost drooling when you watched his back muscles slightly contract as you washed his back. Jesus, it was one of the titillating things about him.

“You’re missing a spot, love.”

“Oh-uh you’re a big boy, you can do that yourself.”

“You offered.”

“To wash you, not give you a handjob with soap.”

“How about without the soap?”

“Are your brain cells still functioning?”

“Oh, don’t play games, love. Don’t think I didn’t catch you staring at me.”

“Or how you pressed your thighs together when I just innocently touched them?”

“Or how your nipples are still hard after all this time in the shower?”

“So what if that’s all true? What are you going to do about it?” You knew there was no point in trying to hide your arousal, he could see through you like glass.

“Why don’t you tell me? What do you want me to do?” He leaned in, teasing you by brushing his lips against yours but you pressed your lips against his. You didn’t care about how desperate you were, your lips shamelessly moving against his.

His hands grabbed your ass, you gasped at the sudden movement and he chuckled into your lips.

“Not funny.”

“You gasp like it’s the first time I’ve touched your ass.”

“It just catches me off guard.”

“So cute.”

“Not the exact words I want to hear, Tae.” He chuckled again, you hit his chest and he leaned in to kiss you again. You felt yourself chasing after his lips, seconds separating each kiss you two shared and you comfortably rested your arms around his neck.

His lips trailed along your neck, a small whimper left your lips as he began to nip at your skin. Your hands travelled to his head with a rough tug at his hair.

“I can’t believe that dick at your job doesn’t know you’re mine. All mine.”

“Someone sounds jealous.”

“Of who? I’m the only one who gets to touch you like this.” His left hand sensually rubbed against your inner thigh, his thumb brushing against your folds.

“The only one who gets to hear you like this.”

“Fuck.” You whispered under your breath as his right hand expertly fondled your left breast.

“Don’t get quiet on me, sweetheart. I want to hear you while you unravel under my touch.”

“Hands against the wall.” He commanded, you swiftly positioned yourself. You were about to speak when you felt two fingers suddenly enter you.

“Jesus Christ, Taehyung.” You moaned, his fast pace was unforgiving.

“Jesus, you’re so fucking perfect. Your pretty little pussy taking my fingers so easily like it’s made for me.”

“Nngh, fuck, more.” You felt a hard smack on your ass, the sting only stimulating you more.

“Where are your manners, baby? Hm?”

“P-Please fuck- I want more p-please.”

“Good girl.” He obliged to your plea, a third finger squeezing its way into you. The gentle stretch was noticeable, Taehyung’s hand soothing your ass while he did so.

“You alright, baby?”

“Y-Yes.”

“So eager to please.” He continued his reckless pace when he felt you were comfortable, his fingers quickly stretching you out.

“You’re so good, baby, so good.” You could barely focus on Taehyung’s words, pleasure overpowering your senses. Though your incoherent moans, you found yourself on the edge of your orgasm before he stopped.

“What the fuck, Tae-” He silenced you with another slap to your ass, you giving him a silent glare.

“You didn’t think I was going to let you cum, did you?”

“You’re not coming until I see you trembling and sobbing for me to let you cum, understood.”

“Besides, I have to punish you for keeping me waiting.” You wanted to protest, your words barely making it to the tip of your tongue before you felt his fingers plunged back into you.

You were pretty sensitive from before, the addition of his thumb grinding against your clit only made it more of a challenge to stop yourself. He teased you, abruptly stopping for a moment before starting his wicked pace. All you could was stabilize yourself against the wall, getting a few warning smacks from slightly sliding out of position.

“P-Please- Tae. I can’t- Wanna cum-” You sobbed, not caring about your broken words and he rested his hands on your ass.

“In due time, baby. First, on your knees.” He watched as you shakily knelt in front of him, being formally acquainted with his throbbing erection. You silently awed at how he could show restraint while he was this hard.

You didn’t need a word before you wrapped around him, maintaining a good grip as you pumped his cock at a moderate pace. Licking your lips, you allowed the head to enter your mouth. Your tongue ever so slowly swirled around it, licking away the leaky precum and he groaned in response.

His hands made their way into your wet hair, sloppily gripping the strands as you began to bob your head in a rhythmic pace. You found yourself growing wet at the sounds of him cursing your name as you blew him.

“Fuck, your lips are so beautiful around my cock.”

“Love the way I hit your pretty little throat.”

“Fuck, makes me want to cum and watch you swallow it all up like a fucking good girl.”

“Shit-“ You stopped, wiping off a string of saliva that connected your lips to his cock. He helped you up, turning you to face the wall adjacent to you and lifting your leg. With his other hand, he rubbed the head of his cock against you.

“Quit teasing me already.”

“But it’s so much fun.”

“Taehyung.” You whined, him having the audacity to chuckle before slowly sliding into you.

“Fuck.” You two muttered seemingly at once, he was still for a moment before beginning to thrust his hips into yours.

He leaned in to kiss you, muffling your moans as he began to bang into you. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, focusing on the insurmountable euphoria that came with each thrust of his cock. It was mind-numbing how he knew every sweet spot on your body from your neck to your collarbone. From your chest to your stomach, down to your hips and thighs and eventually your cunt.

And you knew him well, how much he liked when you tugged at his hair, the way his face heats up when you nibble on his ear. The way he moans when you kissed his neck and under his jaw, leaving haphazard hickeys wherever you felt. You knew he liked the way you straddle his thighs, not so discreetly grinding on him until he was uncomfortably hard and leave him to his own devices. His body was moulded to every touch you made and you loved it.

“Fucking shit, baby.” He growled in your ear, you biting your lips once again but unable to mask the whimpers from his attentive ears.

“Let me hear you.”

“Please-fuck, harder.” He graced you with a rougher pace, you needing to press your back against the wall before you slammed into it from his thrusts. You moaned at the hard grip he had on your thigh from holding your leg up and you could feel yourself stumbling to stay up.

“You like that, baby, huh? Fucking you so good you won’t want any dick but mine.”

“Y-Yes.”

“Say it.”

“I’m a-all fucking yours.”

“Good fucking girl. You wanna cum?”

“F-Fuck, please.” He smirked, his free hand immediately rubbing your clit. Your legs trembled as you came, the release causing you to cry out.

He came a bit after you had, delectable groans escaping his lips as he did so. The two of you glanced at each other breathlessly, neither of you speaking as you caught your breaths.

“I think I have to clean you up again.”

[kingofdirtandnothing]

@polyfacetious big ass Christmas Drabble Extravagaza: Day Three

“Alright handsome, show me what you got.” 

Tony posts up against the back door to the restaurant, arms crossed over his chest. The morning air has a nip of coolness to it, but the heat of the day would be right on its heels. Before long, the sun would be beating down on this place, and the kitchen would end up another twenty degrees hotter than even the humid streets outside.

 His apron, where it hung looped around his waist and tied into double knots at his hip, was crisp and white. It was a brand new day and the fresh linens had been dropped off by the dry cleaners before dawn. The thing would look like he’d been mud wrestling pigs and losing by the time they sent out the last dish from the kitchen tonight, but it felt good to start out fresh and clean. 

There was something hopeful about starting the day with fresh, clean linens. It felt like a promise of things to come. That no matter what happened, the day could go either way. It was a toss up. Tony liked having that kind of optimism on tap. He couldn’t come up with it at home a lot. Depression had a nasty habit of hanging heavy on his shoulders when he wasn’t caught up in his work.

The other thing that made the dawn of a new day optimistic? Fresh seafood. Right from the coast. It made all the difference in his dishes. Tony wouldn’t even work directly with the fish market. It was too far, too much time spent on ice. 

That’s why he had Jack. A “local” fisherman who would bring his catch right to Tony’s back door every morning. 

“Now now, Anthony. You know I only offer my wares to the most polite and upstanding of citizens.” Jack Sparrow had a voice like whiskey. Smooth on the first listen, but something about it warmed you from the inside and burned a little too, in the best way possible. 

It might also be possible that Tony was pining a little bit for his fishmonger. But he didn’t think too hard about that. He’s worked too hard to get Maria’s built up into a destination. It took eight years to get the place up and running. Another two were spent tweaking the menu to get them awarded a Michelin star. 

To say this restaurant was his baby was the understatement of the century. Tony had an emotionally distant childhood followed by tumultuous twenties and two divorces to show for his troubles. No kids though, thank God. He wasn’t the type of man who would ever be good with kids. 

That’s why Maria’s was his one and only baby. And why the seafood being perfect and fresh was the most important part of the menu. Which meant no letting his shower thoughts of the handsome, charming fishmonger get the better of him. Failed relationships were a dime a dozen. Good oysters were hard to find.

And sure enough, Jack is shaking a container full of fresh oysters in front of him, a five gallon bucket nearly half full of the things, clanging together like stones. Tony had to give it to the guy, he knew his audience. “Straight from the sea’s bosom to your plate, mate.” There’s a glint of gold when Jack smiles. It always derails Tony’s train of thought. 

“You know I’ll take them.” Tony waves the oysters over and then hefts the bucket back up onto the step behind him, like he’s worried Jack might change his mind and try to take them back. The oysters and caviar were the most popular things on his menu. It didn’t matter what was seasonally available, it didn’t matter if the sun was baking the cobblestones or the cool breezes of winter were catching in the corridor and sneaking under collars to cause chills. People always wanted their oysters and caviar. 

“What about some tuna? You got any of that?” Jack runs his hands down the front of his jacket, patting his pockets playfully. It was an old joke between them. While fresh tuna was always a big seller, it required a bigger boat than Jack had. It was probably for the best that Tony didn’t have the option to drop ten grand on Ahi tuna in a day. He was an impulse buyer. 

Which was probably one of the reasons Jack came to him first every morning. Tony was always at the mercy of his whims, and Jack always managed to bring him something unique when he was feeling stymied or bored. 

And he was. Tony needed his next great adventure. 

“Fresh out. But I do have something that’ll get your motor running.” Jack reaches behind him and hefts a large styrofoam cooler onto the step in front of him. “Go on. The anticipation is enough to set a man to salivating.” The rings on Jack’s fingers glint in the early morning light as he gestures like a woman on The Price is Right. 

Tony is just about ready to say something to him about it when he opens the cooler, and all the breath is knocked out of his lungs. “You didn’t.” Tony’s own dark eyes are wide eyed as he looks up. 

“I did in fact.” There’s no hiding the smug satisfaction in the way Jack holds himself, though Tony can see a hint of something beneath the surface. “That was all that was there to be had, my friend.” It sounds almost like an apology. 

But Tony isn’t looking for an apology right about now. He’s too busy trying not to whoop with joy so he doesn’t wake up the neighbors. He hops around the cooler, one foot on the first step, the second landing on the other before he careens into Jack, grabbing his face into his hands so he can plant a kiss on each one of his cheeks. 

“Sei un angelo mandato dal Cielo.” For one crazy second, Tony thinks about planting a kiss on those upturned lips in the space between the smacking smooch to one cheek and then the next. But he’s not risking their friendship. Or the chance for him to make this deal. 

“Name your price.” Tony will pay anything. Absolutely anything. He steps gingerly back over the cooler to stand back on the step of the restaurant again. Fourchu lobster was an incredible find, especially in waters like these. It was supposed to be the most luscious and delicious lobster that a person would ever eat. 

The Rolls Royce of Lobster. That’s what he’d read it was called in a gushing review he’d read in a magazine a few short months ago. 

That would make it expensive enough, but when you added in the fact that they were only able to be fished ten weeks out of the year, from May through July, that it made this delicacy even more of a commodity. 

Like hell Tony was going to pass up the opportunity to try these bad boys in his own kitchen. He was already making plans for what he was going to do with them. A little butter, a little lemon juice in the pan. With a taste as delicate as this, you didn’t want to do anything to overwhelm it. Tony could put a call in to a dairy farmer he knew out in the country. Fresh butter would make this even better. 

“Oy. You listening to me?” Tony jumps guiltily from his thoughts of fresh cream and butter, and smashed garlic potatoes to smile sheepishly at Jack. But what he sees when he makes eye contact with his friend is just amusement. “I said the going rate is twenty dollars a pound.” 

Tony spared a look down at the cooler, and the four lobsters scrabbling around inside, trying to gauge their weight by eyeballing alone. The lobsters were probably sitting around a pound and a half apiece. Which meant Tony was looking at about a hundred dollars alone, just for these four guys. 

It was a steal. “Done.” He holds out a hand to shake on it. This wouldn’t be enough to even think about putting it on the menu tonight. But honestly? Between the pats of butter and sweet cream dancing in his head? Tony wasn’t thinking about serving this to customers. 

Jack takes his hand, and after a firm shake, the touch lingers for a second or two before Jack slowly pulls his hand free. Tony finds himself trying to remember if a handshake has ever left him feeling so flustered before. 

“But I have a condition.” Tony holds up a single finger, and bites down on a laugh when Jack squints at him. Yeah, he knows. It’s cheating the system to add pieces to the deal after you already shook on it. But Tony was hoping these additions would be agreed to, easily enough. 

“Shady business deals you’re having today, Anthony.” But Jack was an incurable gossip, and Tony had learned in no time flat of knowing Jack that his curiosity would always get the best of him. So after a moment’s pause and another long squint, he relents. “Alright. Alright. You’ve got me on the hook, go on.”

“Dinner with me, tonight.” Tony gets the words out all in a rush, but it doesn’t do a damn thing for the way his heart is hammering in his chest. So Tony clarifies. “After the front of the house closes. Just you and me.” And he clarifies some more. “You went to all the trouble to find these guys for me. The least I can do is share them with you.”

And if Tony has any chance at all of winning over his jolly sailor bold here, then it was going to be with the Rolls Royce of lobster. This was going to be a menu fit for a king. Tony just wasn’t going to tell him that. Better to keep the pressure off, just in case he screwed something up between now and then. Better safe than sorry. 

“So what do you say? You head inside, drop off your invoice with Pep and get paid, and I’ll see you back here at...ten?” A late dinner, but that meant they’d have the kitchen all to themselves. The staff would already be cleared out for the night. Privacy was the name of the game. 

Tony takes a deep breath, and finally phrases it as the question it should have been from the start, before he talked himself into a pretzel note. 

“You, me and the best lobster in the world. Ten o’ clock. Sound good?”

Jack watches him, and Tony just knows that there’s something more going on behind those intelligent eyes. And he was dying to learn that language, to know what in the hell was going on in that bright, sea swept mind of his. 

Whatever time they spent together, it was always fleeting. Morning haggling over fish prices was the bulk of the time Tony got to spend with Jack. Sometimes, he got lucky and Jack would wander by the back door after the lunch rush, an alley cat looking for scraps. (Five was the one who started feeding him, now there was no getting rid of him.)

This would be at least an hour of uninterrupted time. With good wine and good food, and no risk of overbearing customers or fires in the kitchen, either of the literal or metaphorical sense. All Tony needed was for Jack to say the word. 

It takes everything he has not to squirm under Jack’s gaze. Tony was forty five years old, he wasn’t a teenager anymore, trying to get Carmella DiMarro to go to prom with him. He wasn’t going to get nervous over this. 

Or at least not visibly. 

After another few impossibly long beats of Tony’s heart, Jack comes to a conclusion, nodding and holding out his hand again for another shake to seal the deal. 

“Ten it is, then.”

[theskyeandsea]

Safe Harbor || Shiloh & Skylar

Location: White Crest Zoo & Aquarium, but specifically the Aquarium

Notes: Skylar and Shiloh go on their first date since the disastrous lobster beach party and Skylar decides to take a leap of faith.

Shiloh knew she was cutting it a little close - of course work dragged on longer than it should have, she knew she never ended at a certain time. But she wouldn’t be late for their date. Neither would she arrive stinking of a day’s work. Ew. So as soon as she got home she headed for the shower and just as soon as she finished she was out the door, hair still wet, but not caring because she needed to be there at a reasonable time. She’d only give herself 15 minutes and that was it. Anything more was unacceptable. Shiloh had never gone to the aquarium or the zoo so she had to look it up and drive there which ate into her time as she figured out how to get there. Still, once she arrived, she was ready - happy, to see Skylar again. It’d been a while and she was waiting for Skylar to bring up a date (which was stupid she should have said something). Either way, she headed for the aquarium exhibit, hoping she’d spot Skylar in the Saturday crowd. Lo and behold, she did. It was almost as if her eyes knew where to look. She spotted her standing by the entrance and Shiloh felt relieved at the sight of seeing her. She made sure to walk into her line of sight, which proved to be difficult with a light crowd lingering in the front. Once they caught eyes, she signed as well as said, “Hi, Skylar!” She rushed to close  the distance between them. “I hope I didn’t keep you waiting long, sorry.”

Skylar’s fingers tapped nervously against her thigh, signing Calm and relax to herself rapidly, as thought signing it would make it real. But, her heart was pounding, her stomach was worked up in knots, and her hands were getting covered in stupid slime. Again. Ugh. Sticking her hands into the pockets of her jacket, she did her best to discreetly wipe them clean. The fact that this wasn’t just a date, but… that she was really considering telling Shiloh about herself? She grimaced slightly. What would she think? Would she think she was a monster? Glancing up, Skylar caught sight of Shiloh making her way towards her. Waving at the other woman, a smile slowly spread across her face. When their eyes met, some of the tension in her shoulders eased. As nerve-wracking as the whole prospect of their date, of telling Shiloh the truth was… Skylar was startled by how much she had missed seeing her. It had been weeks since their disastrous date. But now, here she was. And signing too? Shaking her head, Skylar replied, “No, you’re fine, I just got here ten minutes ago. Just enough time to buy tickets.” She said, pulling out the two passes from her jeans pocket. “Work run late?” Skylar asked as the two joined the line to enter the aquarium.

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that.” Shiloh said, her voice softening. “Thank you. Next one’s on me?” She asked, looking over at Skylar, eyes hopeful. Not that she minded Skylar paying for it, but she wanted to be equal - Shiloh could very much cover herself. However, she knew it was rude to push that so she just wanted to show she appreciated it. She looked down, wanting to reach for Skylar’s hand but it was in her pocket and the other holding the tickets so she just kept hers at her side. “It took us a little longer to finish panelling a client’s floor but it’s fine.” Shiloh waved her hand, very much wanting to leave work at work and focus on Skylar and the aquarium. “I haven’t been to an aquarium in years. I’m a little excited.” By little she meant very. It felt safe, despite it featuring marine life and Shiloh not wanting to step foot on that beach again. There were plenty of people, families. Nothing happened in a big crowd, right? Shiloh closed her eyes for a beat longer, wanting to gather her anxieties. What’s the worst that could happen? Another large lobster? What will most likely happen? Her and Skye would have another great date only this time with a nice end to it. She smiled and looked over at Skylar as they entered.

Shrugging, Skylar merely smiled. “It’s okay, honest. I suggested the aquarium after all. And, I kind of wanted to make up for how the last one ended…” She said, her voice trailing off at the memory of that night. Seeing her friends fighting giant lobsters, the awful curse that had fallen over her when she’d bumped into the chest, the fear-- nope! No, she wasn’t going to think about that. Swallowing, Skylar focused on Shiloh’s words instead. “Mhm, well, hopefully the rest of the repairs go smoothly!” She said, taking the hint when the woman waved her hand at the subject. She couldn’t blame her for not wanting to talk about work; it seemed like she had a lot on her plate, now that everyone was certain the fish rain wouldn’t come back. “Same here, honestly. I think the last time I went to one I was… oh, probably back in 7th grade? It was for a school trip.” She said with a nod. Handing their tickets to the attendant, Skylar smiled back at Shiloh and tentatively reached out to hold her hand, lacing their fingers together. “It looks like there’s a lot of cool animals here-- there’s a penguin exhibit, a stingray pool, sharks… and a crocodile?” She said, gesturing to the map that was displayed by the entrance.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Shiloh didn’t want to talk about the beach event (especially in public) but she wanted it to be clear Shiloh didn’t blame Skye for anything. “I will say, just agreeing to meet up for another date more than makes up for anything that happened.” She reassured, not wanting Skye to feel terrible over what occurred weeks ago. It was time to move on. At least for Shiloh. Her subconscious might take a bit to catch up with that but it’ll happen. Eventually. “A school trip to the aquarium? That sounds like so fun. I haven’t been to one since I was a kid either. I barely remember it but I’m happy to make a new aquarium memory with you.” Shiloh internally winced, wondering if that came off as lame but Skylar’s touch was comforting. Far more than she probably realized. Shiloh leaned into her, brushing shoulders as she looked at the map. “We have to go to the penguin exhibit.” Shiloh said trying to downplay her excitement at the idea of seeing penguins in person. “They’re so cute.” She squeezed Skylar’s hand in excitement. 

A pang of guilt struck Skylar at her words. Maybe she didn’t cause the chest, maybe she wasn’t responsible for the lobsters. But… she was part of this craziness. The seal skin tucked under her bed was more than proof of that. And, Shiloh was roped into it too. Nodding, she glanced over at one of the smaller tanks, pretending to be interested in the small little fish hiding in their enclosure. She couldn’t bare to look Shiloh in the eyes, not when they were talking about this. As the topic transitioned away from the beach, Skylar smiled a bit, her cheeks reddening at Shiloh’s last words. “Mmm, I am too.” She said, squeezing her hand gently. Looking closer at the map, Skylar nodded, “Yeah, the penguins sound like a fun time. I wonder which kind they have… the ones with the little yellow eyebrows always kinda look silly.” She said. As she stared at the map, her stomach lurched as her eyes fell on a specific section of the aquarium. Harbor seals… shit.

“The yellow eyebrows?” Shiloh repeated as she tried to picture it in her mind. And then it came to her and she let out a laugh. “Oh my god, I hope they do. Have you ever seen Happy Feet? That movie is so cute. Those kinds of penguins come out in it.” She can’t remember what they’re called though. The only one that came to mind was Emperor Penguin but she’s sure that’s what the normal looking ones are called. She glanced back at the map. “Oh look they have seals too, how cool.” She pointed at it before dropping her hand and looking over at Skylar. “They seem to have everything in this aquarium. Can we go see the penguins first?” Not that the general fish in the aquarium weren’t interesting to see, but penguins were cute. Who didn’t want to go see some penguins if given the chance?

“Yeah, the ones that kinda look like Guy Fieri,” Skylar said with a laugh. Poor penguins didn’t even realize they looked like a walking meme. “I think I saw it when I was really little once, but I didn’t like it as much as I liked Finding Nemo.” When Shiloh pointed out the seal exhibit, Skylar felt a bead of slime begin to form on her forehead and she hurried to wipe it away with her free hand. “Mhm, neat!” She said, trying to play off the motion as brushing a strand of hair from her face. “Penguins sound great to me, let’s go.” She said, leading Shiloh further into the aquarium. The backlit tanks of fish and small aquatic animals cast blue hues across the room, bathing them in soft light. Skylar cast a quick glance over at the woman next to her. In this light, with the blue glow, Shiloh just looked so… out of her league. Mmm. Quickly shifting her gaze, she pointed at one of the nearby tanks, “Aww. Look at that little starfish sticking to the glass.”

“Guy Fieri?” A slow smile spread on Shiloh’s face as she started to laugh once more, the similarity not having been one she noticed before. “They are the Guy Fieri of penguins!” They were cute though, albeit weird looking. “I liked Happy Feet, it took a turn from being a cute children’s movie to the effects of overfishing and things like that. I also liked this one called the Pebble and the Penguin? It was really cute.” After those two though the only penguins she could think of were the ones from Madagascar and those weren’t that cute. As she was distracted by her own thoughts she looked over at where Skylar pointed walking towards it. “Oh, how cute.” She smiled down, pressing her finger against the glass. “Do you remember that one scene in Finding Nemo where the little girl is tapping at the glass and all the fish hate the sound?” She glanced over at Skylar, pulling back her finger. “I never tapped on a fish tank after I saw that. Not that I really did that before. It just stuck with me.”

The way Shiloh’s face lit up at her joke put Skylar slightly more at ease, her own smile returning. “Mhm, that’s true. It’s cool how the writers were able to make it more than just a fun kids movie. The Pebble and the Penguin? I’ve never heard of that one.” She said, curious. It was cute, hearing Shiloh’s excitement. If she liked penguins this much, Skylar wondered how she’d react if they went to the zoo and saw the tigers there. If… If they had another date. Which, if she went through with this, there was no guarantee that she would even want anything to do with Skylar, let alone another date. “Oh for sure. I always felt really bad for the fish after seeing that.” She said as she looked at the little starfish. A few smaller fish were hiding in the background, their heads poking out curiously from the rocks. “I wonder what it’s like to be a fish in an aquarium,” She remarked as they continued their way through the hallway, “All these new people coming by and staring at you. Mm. Must be weird.”

“It’s a real old one.” Shiloh added, feeling maybe her older age was showing with that one. “The Pebble and the Penguin is about an awkward penguin wanting to court the pretty penguin and they find a really nice pebble for her and in trying to give it to her a mean penguin keeps thwarting his attempts because he wants the pretty penguin too.” Shiloh gave a small laugh at her explanation. “I haven’t seen it in years I’m sure there’s more to it than that but that’s pretty much it.” She shrugged, hoping Skylar didn’t judge it based on her terrible plot explanation. “Can the fish see us?” Shiloh asked keeping her eyes on the moving fish as they continued walking. “I don’t know how fish tanks work, I always wondered what they see on their end. I agree though, it must be pretty weird to see all these people coming and going. Maybe they think we’re fish too. Just swimming by.” As she turned away from the fish and looked to Skye, she sucked in her cheeks to make a fish face, unable to hold it for long as she turned away and laughed.

Listening to Shiloh’s recounting of the movie, Skylar could feel her shoulders relaxing once more, the slickness on the back of her neck fading away a bit. “That sounds cute. Does the awkward penguin get the girl in the end?” She asked. She would have to look it up later-- a part of her could definitely related to feeling like an awkward penguin. A pretty large part, actually. Ack. “We’d be some pretty weird looking fish--” Skylar caught sight of Shiloh’s face and burst out laughing, covering her mouth with her free hand. “I take that back, if we just make that face, they won’t know the difference between us and them.” She teased, shaking her head, beaming all the same.

“Yeah! The awkward penguin always gets the girl.” Shiloh explained with a smile despite not remembering specifically if it happened but she knew that it had to have happened. It was a children’s movie… maybe she’ll have to look it up. Shiloh was pleased with herself after she made Skylar laugh, leaning forward to see her face better. She really couldn’t believe how cute Skylar was. “Oh yeah? Was it a good impression?” Shiloh giggled as she wrinkled her nose, not wanting to imagine how she looked making that face but if it made Skylar laugh, she’d do it all over again. She heard the sounds of the penguins before she saw them and looked up. Already there were some people gathered around, but she managed to find a spot for the two of them to watch. “Look at them waddle!”

“It was a very good impression, yup. Very fishy.” Skylar nodded, making the sign for “fish” as she spoke. It was a little wiggling motion with a flat hand, nothing too fancy. As the other woman led her onwards, pace a little quicker, she realized that Shiloh must have heard something she hadn’t. Was there something wrong with her hearing aids? Was she just not picking up everything-- as they neared the exhibit and the squawking of penguins filtered in, she understood what must have happened. The sound probably carried down the hall and got lost in all the other noises she’d been picking up. Somehow, Shiloh managed to find a spot for them among the crowd, nice and close to the glass. “Awww. They’re so cute.” She said, the other woman’s enthusiasm catching. Peering through the glass, she pointed at one of the penguins flapping its wings energetically. “I wonder if that one’s trying to fly or something.”

Shiloh chuckled at the sight of a penguin flapping its wings. “Definitely trying to fly. Although I imagine they have it pretty good here at the aquarium, yeah?” She looked over at Skylar. “At least I’d hope so.” She was sure she read somewhere that most of the animals in zoos are either rescued as illegal pets or are unable to return to the wild. She continued to watch the penguins waddle and smiled at the sight of one of them sliding on their belly. “I wonder what it’s like to just stop walking and decide oh it’ll be faster if I just slide.” She smiled as she looked up at Skylar. “Do you think they get tired or lazy and would rather just slide everywhere? I imagine it’s kind of fun? Let physics do its thing.”

“Oh, definitely. They get to hang out with their friends, they get food, and they get lots of attention. It sounds like a fun life.” Skylar said with a nod, watching as the penguin began to preen its feathers. Catching sight of the little penguin that started sliding around, she started to laugh, but it caught in the back of her throat at Shiloh’s words. Mmmmmmm. Not that she’d ever slid around on her stomach as a seal; she’d never done anything like that. She’d never even… changed outside of the bathtub. “It looks kinda fun, yeah.” She grinned, hoping it didn’t seem to forced. She could feel her hands growing slick again, dread welling up in the pit of her stomach. This… she needed to tell Shiloh. She had to just, get it out in the open. God, she just hoped that Shiloh didn’t hate her after this.

Shiloh kept her eyes on the penguin as her and Skye walked around. “Bye, penguins,” she said once they moved along. As they kept walking Shiloh felt Skye’s hand grow a little damp and she glanced up, catching Skylar’s face grow blue as they went through the aquarium again. “Hey, Skye?” Shiloh called out to her, slowly down to a stop. She squeezed her hand. “Hey, uh, can I kiss you?” It was awkward to ask for a kiss and yet she felt she needed to, unsure if Skylar would even be up for a kiss. Not to mention she looked a bit lost in her thoughts previously and who knows how a surprise kiss would have gone. Shiloh figured she could learn that out at a later time. Either way she felt her cheeks redden as she grew a bit self-conscious waiting for Skylar’s response. 

Maybe Remmy was right. Maybe there was never going to be a right time to talk about this. Maybe she just needed to get it out in the open, just put it out there and see what would happen. Because then she would know-- she’d know for sure where they stood and if… if she was just kidding herself with this. Skylar was so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she didn’t realize that they’d slowed to a stop until Shiloh squeezed her hand gently. Blinking, Skylar felt her neck burn with embarrassment; she’d been so wrapped up in her own worries, she’d… oh no. She’d made this weird, hadn’t she? With a nod, Skylar glanced down quickly before meeting Shiloh’s gaze, “Mhm. You don’t-- you don’t need to ask me every time, you know. I… I really like you.” She said quietly before leaning forward to kiss Shiloh, capturing the other woman’s lips with her own in a gentle embrace. 

“I was just trying to be polite,” Shiloh spoke with a smile as Skylar leaned forward, her smile melting into the kiss. Shiloh had no desire to pull back, her eyes fluttering shut once their lips met. However, the middle of the aquarium wasn’t the most ideal spot for a make out. Shiloh wasn’t really one to kiss someone so heavily in a public space anyway. So, she pulled back, her smile returning. “I hope you know I really like you too.” Despite the craziness that was their last date, Shiloh truly liked Skylar and enjoyed spending time with her. She wanted to get to know her better, learn all she could. However, there was some hesitation. It made Shiloh second guess herself in situations she wouldn’t have before. It was different and Shiloh wasn’t sure why. Shiloh took Skylar’s hand once more, stepping aside so they could keep walking. “So, I have permission to kiss you whenever I want?” Shiloh asked with a sly smile.

Shiloh’s lips were soft against her own, in a brief but sweet kiss. Skylar felt her cheeks darken as she realized that she’d just kissed her in a very public setting. She was-- she hoped that there wasn’t anything wrong with that. But, the way Shiloh looked at her put her at ease and she couldn’t help but offer a soft smile in return. Her heart was still pounding, but the feelings of anxiety had faded some at the other woman’s words. “I’m glad to hear that. It’s honestly a bit of a relief.” Shiloh liked her too, but would that... would those feelings be enough? Could Shiloh look past the fact that she was a Selkie, could she do something that Skylar couldn’t even manage? As they continued down the hall, Skylar bit her lip, embarrassed. “Mhm. You do indeed.”

Shiloh realized they were both equally relieved the feeling was mutual. She smiled, giving a small laugh at how silly that was. She needed to make her feelings clear so that Skylar wouldn’t have any doubts as to whether or not she liked her. In turn, maybe Shiloh would be reassured as well in the process. She hadn’t expected Skylar to agree to that and actually felt her face heat up. “Oh! Okay. Great.” They had just finished kissing though and Shiloh already wanted to kiss her again. Best to spread that sort of thing out. Probably. At least that’s what she was going to tell herself. “So what’s coming up next?” Shiloh asked, forgetting how the map looked… once again she wasn’t really good at navigating herself.

With a quiet laugh at Shiloh’s slightly flustered expression, Skylar leaned in and kissed her quickly on the cheek before continuing their walk further into the aquarium. She could do this, she could just… get it out there in the open. She had to. All she needed was just, a quiet moment, away from other people. And then… hopefully it would be okay. Hopefully it would all be okay. “Mm, I think it was--” As they turned the corner, Skylar’s stomach lurched and she found herself staring at a set of large, dark eyes that peered curiously through the glass, flippers tucked in at its sides. A large harbor seal stared back at her before flitting back up to the surface of the large tank. “Seals. The seal exhibit, mhm.” She said with a slightly tense smile. God, she hoped that Shiloh didn’t notice.

Shiloh squeezed Skylar’s hand as she got a kiss on the cheek, unable to say anything as her cheeks reddened. That wasn’t fair! But she really liked it nonetheless. As they neared the next exhibit Shiloh looked and waited to hear from it. “Oh, seals!” She lightly pulled at Skylar’s hand as she walked faster. “They’re so cute.” Shiloh cooed as she watched some of them lounge above water and some swimming about. Dropping Skylar’s hand, Shiloh squatted as one of them swam by the glass. “Oooh.” She’d never seen any this close before. “Those are some thicc boys.” Shiloh said with a laugh as she got back up and looked over to Skylar, wondering if she had heard her.

Skylar was glad that Shiloh pulled away, because her hands were now covered in a thick sheen of slime. She shoved her hands in her pockets, doing her best to wipe the gunk off her skin and just pretend that she was fine, that this was fine. Watching as Shiloh peered through the glass, Skylar caught sight of the three seals in the tank, all of them swimming around rather lazily in the water. One of them was rolling around, doing bored barrel rolls in the tank. “Mm. There are actually two girls and a boy.” She said without thinking, pointing to the bored barrel roll boy in question. Wait… how did she know that? Skylar cleared her throat and gestured to the little information plaque next to the tank. “They’ve got pictures next to the tank of them.” She said with a weak smile. 

“Oh really?” Shiloh looked over at Skylar about to ask how she knew that, wondering if Skylar just knew about seals. However, she mentioned the plaque and walked over to it. “They look so cute in their pictures. I wonder if they know any tricks.” Not that she wanted to see animals exploited for entertainment but she knew they must know how to do something so the zoo veterinarians can inspect them up close. “Oh, they do a feeding in like an hour. Do you want to come back and see?” She turned around at Skylar who just seemed the slightest bit uncomfortable. Shiloh assumed it was still date jitters and smiled coming up next to her, looping her arm around Skylar’s and leaning her head against her as she just stood and watched the seals, not saying anything just providing comfort in a way Shiloh would like. Of course Shiloh enjoyed verbal comfort as well but this was about Skye. Shiloh was still learning how she liked to be comforted.

Blinking, Skylar stared at the seals-- there wasn’t anything specific she could point out that told her the seals were what they were. Was it like… the way their snouts were? Or how they interacted in the water? But, she had the distinct impression that they were siblings. Looking over at the plaque more closely, her odd hunch was confirmed. Three orphaned seal pups that had been rescued and rehomed in the White Crest aquarium. “Mmm. Maybe.” She answered, still lost in her head as she stared at the seals. Were these actually seals? They didn’t seem to be staring at her any more than anyone else who was passing by. When Shiloh stood closer to her, putting her head on her shoulder, Skylar bit the inside of her cheek, her hands balling up in the pockets of her jacket. “Do you mind if we sit down for a second?” She asked, tilting her head to a bench not far away. It was slightly off the beaten path, out of earshot from passersby. Skylar had to tell her, she had to tell her.

Shiloh picked her head up, looking over at the bench. “Oh yeah sure.” She said and started to walk over to sit down. Maybe Skylar had gotten tired of walking around. She’d understand that. She herself was feeling a little big hungry now that she thought about it. She’d only eaten lunch at work and then rushed home to change and head to the aquarium. Maybe there was somewhere to eat in the area and they could go there after. Hopefully a rumbly tummy wouldn’t ruin the mood of the date. She doubted that but it would have still been embarrassing. Shiloh sat down, actually finding comfort in it, maybe she was more tired from work than she thought but she was happy to sit down. She let out a soft sigh and leaned against the wall the bench was against.

As they settled on the bench, Skylar took a deep breath, her hands tapping against the top of her thighs nervously. She just had to do this, she had to rip the bandaid off and tell her. “I…” Swallowing past the lump that had formed in the back of her throat, Skylar focused on the tops of her shoes. It was easier than looking at Shiloh or at the seals that were still flitting around in the tank in front of them. “I need to tell you something. And-- I don’t blame you if this freaks you out, it freaked me out when I first heard it too. But, I… I really care about you and I just need to tell you.” Glancing over at Shiloh, her fingers fidgeted nervously. “Just please, please let me explain.” Or, at least, let her try to explain any of the craziness that had become her life. 

Shiloh looked up as soon as Skylar began to speak. Her brows furrowed as the conversation seemed to be serious and she worried about what it might be. “Okay,” Shiloh began with a nod, hoping Skylar was okay. Was she in danger? Was something after her? Shiloh felt a swell of protectiveness stirr inside her at the thought and she leaned forward, scooted forward. “Just tell me, it’s okay.” She reassured Skye, not wanting her to be scared or think Shiloh would freak out. Shiloh hadn’t really freaked out in front of her so Shiloh was sure Skylar would remember that. She wasn’t someone to freak out. At least not visibly. In an attempt to comfort, she reached out for Skylar’s hand. Whatever it was, Shiloh was sure she’d be here to help her in whatever way she needed. Shiloh remained quiet, leaving Skylar room to speak. 

Deep breath in. Deep breathe out. Just tell her. Just tell her, just spit it out and tell her. Skylar turned to look at Shiloh, forcing herself to look the other woman in the eyes. “I’m not... human. I’m a Selkie.” As she said the words, Skylar was dimly aware that this was the first time she’d told someone, in person, that she wasn’t normal. “I-- I didn’t know until about a month and a half ago. My parents, they never told me what I was, they never told me anything. It wasn’t until I moved here and all of this supernatural stuff started happening did R--” Shutting her mouth, Skylar quickly corrected herself, “I realize that I was a part of this. Being a selkie means that…” She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, trying to steady herself in spite of her pounding heart, “I turn into a seal.”

Shiloh listened to everything she said. Even when she started it off with not being human. Of course Shiloh was surprised but she still made sure she listened to everything she said. How Skylar had only just known for a while, how she had no clue she was different until she moved here. Shiloh wondered what that must be like. To not have any clue and then have it all fall into your lap. Relieving? Stressful? Probably a bit of both. At the mention of seal she glanced over at the seals just swimming about. Skylar turned into that? She smiled and looked back to Skylar. “Thank you for telling me. I had no idea you weren’t human.” Shiloh didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. “So a selkie is like a werewolf? You turn into an animal?” Shiloh tried to think about what she’s seen in pop culture about werewolves. She had so many questions to ask Skylar but wasn’t sure if it was the right time and didn’t want to overwhelm her. “That’s… incredible. You’re a selkie. Cool.” Shiloh didn’t feel negatively about learning all this information but she honestly wasn’t sure how she should feel? Excited? However a smile crept on her face as she remembered something. “Wait, so do you not know how to swim or were all those swimming lessons just a ruse to get closer to me?” Shiloh teased, not at all offended if it had been. Yet, it was doubtful, Skylar didn’t seem like the type, but how could a seal not know how to swim? She figured it should be something that just… happened, right?

Skylar wasn’t exactly sure what she had expected to happen when she told Shiloh. That was a large part of why it had all been so nerve wracking, the not knowing. And… she half expected Shiloh to get up and walk out on her, to say that she was some kind of… monster or an awful liar. Because that’s what she was. But, Shiloh was a good person, a better person than herself. Kinder, more understanding. “Mmm. Sort of. But, it’s not because of the moon or anything like that. I just… I have a skin? And when I put it on, I change.” She said with a nod. Cool wasn’t how she would describe it, not at all. Humming, Skylar stared at her lap. “I didn’t actually know how to swim. My parents, they didn’t know anything about this. They never took me to swim lessons.” She said, “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

Shiloh took a moment to think about that, wanting to be honest with Skylar. Was she okay with this? The supernatural world was unsettling but Skylar? She was comforting. In time, maybe the rest of the world would be too. “I don’t feel any different about you.” Shiloh made that clear, feeling it was important. She looked at Skylar and still felt her heart race at the thought of kissing her or just staring at her for too long. “I just have only dated humans before, so if you could be patient with me as I figure everything out?” Maybe it wasn’t right for Shiloh to even ask her for anything but she was being honest in that she needed some time to learn how the supernatural world worked. It was a lot but she was a part of this world, living in this town and now, going out with Skylar. “I want to know, Skye.” She said, scooting closer and taking one of her hands into hers. “If you’d let me, I’d love to know everything about you. Including this selkie stuff.” Shiloh didn’t know if leaning over to kiss her would be the right move so she just picked up her hand and kissed the back of it. “I mean it.”

She really didn’t feel any differently? A wave of relief washed over Skylar and she slumped backwards, leaning against the wall. Closing her eyes, she let out a sigh. She didn’t care that she was different. Or at least, it didn’t change her feelings. Skylar opened her eyes and looked at Shiloh with a weak grin, “Of course. And, in the interest of being honest… I haven’t dated anyone before. So maybe we can figure this out together?” She asked, hoping that the words didn’t sound too cliche, too clingy. Her cheeks darkened as Shiloh kissed the back of her hand and, for a moment, she didn’t know what to say. The sweetness of the gesture caught her off guard, surprised her. She hadn’t thought Shiloh would support her so wholeheartedly. “Okay. Just, maybe not right now. I think one big life changing revelation is enough for today.” She said with a quiet laugh, “And I feel the same way about you-- if that’s okay?”

“No one?” Shiloh had to lean back, caught off guard but then leaned back forward. “Yeah, let’s figure this whole thing out together. I’m here for you.” Shiloh realized she had a pretty big role to play for Skylar. She was her first. Why did that feel more stressful than finding out she was a selkie? “Whenever you’re ready, whenever you feel comfortable. I don’t want to rush things. So, thank you, really, for trusting this with me. I won’t - I won’t tell anyone. You’re safe with me.” She had learned about hunters and the thought of anyone coming after Skylar was enough to bring Shiloh back to the seriousness and dangers of the supernatural world. This beautiful, kind, sweet girl in front of her could turn into a seal. And there might be people out there who want to hurt her because of that. Shiloh cared about her - it didn’t matter what she was. “I’m really glad you feel the same way. Like really, really glad.” She let out a sigh. 

Shaking her head, Skylar shrugged. Dating just had never been on the table for her. High school, college… No one would ever be caught dead with the girl who couldn’t hear, or who was out sick every couple weeks. But, she didn’t need to explain all that to Shiloh, not right now. “Nope, no one. So, um, yeah. Just thought you should know that too.” She said, shutting her mouth before she could say anything else that would embarrass her. Shiloh’s words of reassurance, they put her at ease. Slipping an arm around Shiloh’s waist, Skylar kissed the side of her forehead before leaning against her. “Thank you.” For the first time in a long time, Skylar felt… safe. Safe, with Shiloh.

[psychospeak-blog]

Won’t Go Slowly // 55

A/N: I’m so sorry this one took so long, guys!  We’re almost there :)

Warnings: Might be emotional, apparently I also talk about baby constipation? Also, apparently I only write 10K + chapters now?

One // Two  // Three // Four // Five // Six // Seven // Eight // Nine // Ten // Eleven // Twelve // Thirteen // Fourteen // Fifteen // Sixteen // Seventeen // Eighteen // Nineteen// Twenty // Twenty One // Twenty Two // Twenty Three // Twenty Four// Twenty Five // Twenty Six // Twenty Seven // Twenty Eight // Twenty Nine // Thirty // Thirty One // Thirty Two // Thirty Three // Thirty Four// Thirty Five // Thirty Six // Thirty Seven // Thirty Eight // Thirty Nine // Forty // Forty One // Forty Two // Forty Three // Forty Four // Forty Five // Forty Six // Forty Seven // Forty Eight // Forty Nine // Fifty // Fifty One // Fifty Two // Fifty Three // Fifty Four 

It was awkward, really, was what it was, you thought, stretched out across the grass, your head propped up in your hand, while the other one was rubbing Marshall's belly.  Danielle was on the other side of the activity mat she'd gotten for Bentley, which was perfect for a day like today so he could hang out outside with you without being in the sun. It also seemed to be helpful for protecting him from Gerry who was running around playing and seemed to forget where you had the baby, and then have to try and avoid running into him at the last second.

It was awkward because Tyler had other people over, some of whom you'd never met before.  Which was fine, except, while everyone else had shown up with snacks and sunglasses, drinks  and maybe a swimsuit, you'd shown up with baby gear, and a carseat, and a diaper bag.  It just seemed strange, to bring along a baby, when everyone else just seemed to be kind of focused on unwinding, and having a good time, while you were just focused on making sure Bentley was content.

There was definitely a shift or a separation, that had happened.  You were very much so just focused on creating a family for yourself, and everything else just kind of didn't really seem to matter to you, right now.  

It didn't really quite fit for you anymore.

And Tyler, of course, seemed to think there was nothing strange about you bringing a baby along.  

Things changed though, a lot more than you'd thought they'd would.  Before Bentley was born, Tyler had seemed like he was right there, like you could kiss him or touch him however you wanted, like there was something there, and you both knew it.  Like you spent all your time together, without even realizing it, it was the next night, and you were still together.  It became usual, to have him in your bed, or for you to be in his bed and now, with the exception of that first night Bentley was home from the hospital, it was Cash who was just the regular extra in your bed.  

But, it really was like there was kind of a line drawn in the sand.

Was it selfish, though, if you just kind of wanted to hang out with your good friends and your baby in Tyler's house for the rest of the summer, maybe just having dinner with your families, or doing puzzles with his sisters while Bentley was napping, or maybe just holding your baby while you watched a game of horseshoes or spikeball or something.

It was a different experience, being a mother, because you didn't really feel like you were living for yourself at all anymore.  And you were sure you'd get back to that, once again but, for now, your body was just kind of all his.  

"What are you doing?" you frowned, looking at Tyler who was now laying on his stomach on the ground with his phone extended in front of him, one hand moving Bentley's foot up next to Cash's paw.  

"What are you doing?" he asked, panning his phone up towards you, and you could tell by the smile on his face that he was recording a video, which you were not prepared for at all. You gave him a look at tried to slowly move out of the frame, which made him just laughed harder, and then you took your foot, pushing against his arm harder until he lost his grip, his phone tumbling into the grass, and he rolled over onto his side laughing.  

"If you broke my phone, you're buying me a new one," he said.  

"I did not break your phone," you said.  "It's not my fault that you don't have a case on it."

"Well, I wasn't expecting you to kick me," he said.

"I did not kick you," you said, "I nudged you.  With my foot."

"Is that why you child is kicking a," Tyler tilted his head, looking at the toys hanging down,  "fish in the head?  Did you learn that from Mama?"

"He's playing," you laughed, "He loves his toy Auntie Danielle got for him."

"Yeah, he does," Tyler said, turning to look over at him.  "Is your guy still coming?  What's his name again, again?"

"Jeremy," Danielle said, looking at her phone, "Yeah, he's coming after work."

"What does he do?"

"He's an accountant," she said.  And you prepared yourself, expecting Tyler to comment just about how boring that sounded, and how stuffy he must be, but he surprised you.

"Ooh," Tyler said, "that sounds smart."

You shifted a little, looking at your watch, and then you leaned forward, pulling Tyler's phone towards you and unlocking it, and then going to his Instagram to see for yourself what Cassidy had texted you.  "People think I'm your cousin?" you asked.

"Huh?" he asked, blinking at you.

"People think I'm your cousin," you repeated.

You didn't quite know how to respond that that, honestly.  You supposed it was better than the alternative, but there had to be that, too.

"Well, I certainly hope not," Tyler laughed awkwardly.

"Of course we're not, we had genetic testing before we had him."

"Oh yeah," he said. "What are you..where are you even getting this from?"

"Your Instagram," you said. "Your sister told me about it."

"Yeah, I saw that, I think, the other day.  Either that, or you're my....baby mama or something" Tyler said, scratching his head, "What is my sister doing on Instagram?"

"It doesn't matter what your sister is doing on Instagram.  Why didn't you tell me about this?"

"Because it doesn't really matter," he said, "It's probably just from when we went out to Mother's Day and I put 'family mother's day' or something like that."

"You put 'family mother's day'?" you asked.

"Something like that, I don't remember exactly."

"Oh, Tyler," you said, running your hands through your hair.

"What?"

"I don't know, how much I want," you said, "Like I don't think I want you to show his face, right now."

"I didn't?"

"'K, well, don't."

"I won't," he said, but it came out as more of a question, his hand rubbing up and down Marshall's side now as he lifted his head to look back at you.  "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, you didn't do anything wrong."

"Are you sure?" He asked, "I don't have to post any pictures of him, if you don't want me to."

"No, what you've been doing is fine, I think."

"Do you want me to show you before I post stuff, and then you could, like approve it?"

"No, I don't need to approve every one of your social media posts, I'm not your mother."

"Okay," Tyler said, dragging out the word now, his fingers pulling at the grass.  "Are you sure I didn't fuck up? Because you aren't really convincing me otherwise."

"Yes, I'm sure, Tyler."

"You know how I need you to tell me when I fuck up sometimes? This is one of those times," he said, looking at you sheepishly, and you laughed a little when he did.  "Just tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it."

You wanted to tell at him then that you couldn't just dictate his whole life for him, it wasn't just about what you wanted. You had to think what was best, with all of you now.

You wanted to scream at him, that he wouldn't understand, because he wasn't a parent.

But you couldn't.

He hadn't done anything wrong.

So you took a deep breath, and looked out into the water for a moment, "I didn't think about this part," you said, "I'm not quite sure what is best."

"What part?"

"The whole social media thing," you said, waving your hand in the air.

"Well, it's not a big deal," he laughed.

"Yes, it is a big deal, Tyler," you said.  Because now you were thinking, what if he had an interview or something, at his house, and he had pictures of Bentley up, and then just everyone was talking.  "This is gonna be out there, like forever, and you've got like, two hundred thousand Instagram followers, that's not normal."

He looked like he was about to make a correction about the number of followers that he had, but thought better of it. "No, I don't mean like that, I mean you don't need to freak out and stress about it right now, it doesn't matter this very second."

You opened your mouth and then shut it again.

"You over think everything, babe, just relax," he said, "I just won't do anything more until you tell me."

"Well, his feet and stuff is fine, I just don't know, Tyler."

"Well, you'll figure it out," he said, "But until you do, I'm just going to still take hundreds of pictures of him and send them to my mom, 'k?"

"Okay," you laughed.  

"I got your back," he said, smiling at you, and then all of you looked down at Bentley, who was making noises, batting at the toys above him with his fists.  "Yeah, bud, you punch that lobster.  Are you killing it so you can eat it for dinner?"

"You're ridiculous," you laughed.

"It's your child whose the one that's violent."

"Umm.." Danielle interrupted, pointing behind Tyler, "Your child is currently trying to pull all the bark off that tree."

"Gerry!" Tyler yelled, "Stop that!"

Bentley's eyes went wide with surprise, and you laughed rubbing his hand.

"So sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, it was all the puppy's fault," Tyler said, leaning forward to kiss him on the belly, and Bentley grinned.  "I'm so glad he knows how to smile, now, because before he would just, like, lie there, and you didn't know if he liked what you were doing."

"Yeah, well if he's not crying ----oooof!" you said, as Gerry knocked you over, and then proceeded to shove a slobbery tennis ball in your face, and you could hear Tyler giggling as you tried to fend the dog off.  "Make sure he doesn't step on the baby, by accident," you struggled to get out, finally reaching for the ball and throwing it across the yard so Gerry could run after it, scooping it up in his mouth.  "K, bring it back!" You said, and he came running back towards you, jumping over you and dropping the ball at Bentley's feet, Danielle putting her arm out so he wouldn't get too close to the baby.

"Did you bring him the ball? Good boy," Tyler said, then the next thing you knew, Bentley was crying as Gerry licked him right over his face, Danielle grabbing him, while both you and Tyler tried to pull Gerry off, who just backed up and barked.  

"Awe, it's okay," you said, leaning over, your knuckles rubbing over Bentley's cheek, and you let Gerry sniff him now.  "I had to suck a bunch of stuff out of his nose this morning and he didn't like it, so I think he's just freaking out when something gets in his face, thinking its gonna happen again.   It's okay, Ger, it's not your fault."

"You had to what?" Tyler asked.

"He was congested," you said, and Tyler made a face.  "It's not like he can blow his nose or anything."

"Oh, yeah," he said, and you looked over at Bentley who was cooing now, looking up at Danielle his arms stretching out so his hand clasped at her chest.

"Oh, he just grabs your boob," Tyler laughed.

"I'm sorry, I don't have anything in there for you," she said.

"Oh geez," you said, leaning forward and unwrapping his fingers from her shirt, pulling.  "Yeah, let's not take off Auntie Danielle's shirt."

Meanwhile, Tyler was just killing himself laughing.  "That's kind of aggressive, bud," Tyler said, "Big boob guy, huh?"

"He's a baby," you said.

"Well, he's never tried to feel me up like that, just saying."

"Oooh, he's here!" Danielle said, getting up and practically shoving the baby into your arms and running off to meet him.

"Ooh, he's here!" Tyler imitated, his hands waving in the air.

"Tyler, be nice," you said, "she really likes him."

"I am being nice, that was just like the girliest thing ever," he said, and you gave him a doubtful look.  "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"It's...you just have a tendency to be intense, that's all."

"I just want to make sure he's a good guy," Tyler said, and you couldn't really argue with that. "Sometimes you guys don't really make the best choices."

"Hey!"

"I never said I did either," Tyler said, "And I'm really protective over the women in my life, I can't help it, you know that."

"No, I know, I'm just..."

"Keeping me in check?" Tyler smiled, "yeah, I know."

Bentley started fussing in your arms, his arms shooting outwards as he cried, and you rocked him, looking down at Marshall who was blinking.  "Did he hit him?"

"I think he poked him in the eye," Tyler laughed.

"Awe, I'm sorry, Marshall."

"Well, he's practically sitting on you," Tyler said, and you laughed because you were really just surrounded by dogs. "Are you so protective?" Tyler asked, laying down so his head was neck to Marshall's.  "That's a good boy."

Bentley continued to fuss in your arms and you shifted, looking down at him.  "What's wrong?"

"He wants some boobs," Tyler said.

"It's kind of a bit early for him to be hungry," you said, looking at his face for any signs, "He didn't eat much earlier though, his stomach has been bothering him."

"What's wrong with his stomach?" Tyler asked.

"Nothing, I'm just waiting for him to poop," you said, continuing to try and soothe the baby.

"Babies are kinda gross," Tyler said, kissing at his back, "How are you so cute and so gross?"

You smiled, shifting him closer to you and then looking back towards the house, and then behind you, towards the group of people by the deck.  "Where should I feel him?"

Tyler raised an eyebrow at you, sitting up.  "Here? In a chair? I don't know, wherever you want."

"Okay," you said, dragging out the word, and Tyler gave you another weird look, rolling on to his back so Gerry could crawl up on him, while you pulled the top of your dress and pulled the baby to you, trying to get him to latch, which was not working very well and you took a deep breath, trying to relax.

"Is he alright?" Tyler asked, after a moment.

"Yeah, he's just having trouble lately," you said, and then you jumped with surprise when there was a blast of loud music.

"Hey!" Tyler yelled, and then made a motion to turn it down.

"I can just go inside, Tyler, it's okay," you said.

"No, you stay," he said, rubbing your foot, "they don't need to listen to music that loud."

"Shouldn't you like...go hang out with your friends?"

"Yeah, I am."

"I meant them," you said, gesturing your head towards the other side.

"Oh," Tyler said, "I mean, they're not really my friends."

"Why are they here then?"

"They're, like, friends of friends, just hanging out," Tyler shrugged, and then he made a noise when Gerry jumped off a him, tail wagging as he ran towards Danielle and Jeremy. "Who's that?" Tyler asked, pushing himself up and following Gerry, and then you watched over your shoulder as Tyler shook Jeremy's hand and told him it was nice to meet him, and you waved a little with your free hand.  

"Hey, Y/N, how are you?"

"Good,"  you said, "How are work?"

"Uh, not too bad," he said, crouching down in front of Cash now, who had his tail wagging.  "Hey, who's this guy?"

"That's Cash," Tyler said. "and Marshall and Gerry."  

You continued to feed Bentley, watching as Tyler just kept walking around looking up at the trees.  "What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to figure out where to put a hammock."

"You bought a hammock?" you asked, and Tyler nodded.

"Hey, Jeremy, do you know anything about hammocks?"

Danielle sat down next to you, and then you both had to watch, trying not to laugh, as the boys tried to set up the hammock.

"Tyler, you're gonna have to put tighter," you said.

"Yeah, I got it, thanks!" he said, waving you off.

You were really laughing though, when he tried to sit in it, and you watched him fall backwards when it wasn't as high as he thought it was, his knees folding into his chest.  "You might have been right."

"Yeah, I might have," you grinned.

"Just a little bit," he grinned back.  

He went back to fixing it, and you went back to finishing feeding Bentley, propping him up on your legs once you were done, and then you laughed because all three dogs were sniffing him.  

And then you could hear Tyler, clearing his throat very loudly, and you looked over to see him and Jeremy both sitting in the hammock now, which was an appropriate level.

"Say 'yay, you did it'," you said, clapping Bentley's hands together, and he smiled.

"He's so happy," Danielle said.

"Except when he's mad," you said, leaning down to kiss him, "then he gets really, really mad."

"He just smiles like he knows," she said.

"Hey," Tyler said, leaning over you now, "Can I have him for a sec?"

"Why are you making that face? What are you going to do to him?"

"I just want to see if he likes the hammock."

"'K, well he just ate, so don't do anything crazy with him," you said, lifting him up to Tyler's arms.

"I would not," Tyler said, pulling him close, "Your mama's crazy."

You rolled over onto your side, watching as Tyler sat down very carefully with Bentley.  "Does he like it?" you asked after a minute.

"He looks a little confused," Tyler laughed, still watching him, and then you saw Mike and Josie walk into the backward, both of them stopping a little when they saw Tyler with a baby.

Oh god, this was awkward.

"Whose baby did you steal?" Mike asked, and Tyler pointed to you.

Oh my god.

"I told you she was pregnant," Tyler said, "And that she had him - I sent you a picture of him!"

"I thought you were joking," Mike said.

"No, why would I joke about that?" Tyler asked, making a weird face and, when Bentley started crying he stood up, walking with him, and then you got up, going to take him from Tyler, Gerry crying at your feet now, looking up at the baby, and you bounced him a couple of times, his cries soothing. "Oh, you just wanted Mama?" Tyler asked.

"Sorry," Mike said, coming over to hug you on the side where you weren't holding the baby, "Hi, Y/N.  Congratulations."

"He's so cute," Josie said. "What's his name?"

"Bentley," you said, looking up at Tyler and he nodded a little. "Bentley Tyler."

And then you watched them look at the baby, and then back at Tyler, like they were just now seeing the resemblance.

"It's..."

"He was very much planned, and very much wanted," Tyler said, "And she gets to be his mom, and I get to be his Uncle Ty-Ty."

"Oh," Mike said, and then shook his head.  "Sorry, I'm really happy for you.  It just...took me by surprise."

"Yeah, no, I get it," you said, "it's different."

"That's really awesome, though," he said.

"Yeah," you said, "Yeah, he is. Did you guys want to hold him?"

"Yes," Josie said, almost immediately, taking him from you.  "Hey, you're so cute."

"Okay, don't get any ideas."

You smiled down and then, and then Bentley sneezed hard.  "Ah, bless you," you said, going to grab something to wipe his face. But before you could, Tyler was pulling up the bottom of his shirt, wiping at his face. "Is that better? Is your nose less stuffy now?"

"I have a cloth, Tyler," you said, and he just shrugged, seemingly not noticing that everyone was disgusted by what he was doing.

Bentley started fussing again, and you took him back.  "Are you getting tired?" you asked, bending down to grab his pacifier.  He, luckily, did not take very long to fall back asleep, and you sat down with him in a chair that was in the shade.  

It was kind of your favourite thing ever, just getting to hold him when he napped.

You just could not get over him.

So you were just barely listening when Jeremy mentioned some new restaurant or something, and suggested that you double date sometime, and you felt Tyler shift, where he was sitting on the ground, leaning against your shins, petting the dogs, and you watched Danielle's eyes widen and try to communicate with him through looks, but he did not notice at all.

"Oh, we're not together," you felt Tyler say.

"Oh right," he said, looking apologetically at you now, "Right, I knew that."

"Yeah, we're just friends," you said, putting on what felt like the fakest smile ever, and now Tyler looked back over his shoulder, his forehead creased with a frown.

"Well, we're not just friends," he said.

And you didn't really know how to respond, because nothing would ever be the same again.  You would never be "just friends" again, but you couldn't see yourself just not having him in your life either.  

But you didn't want to feel like you were on this verge of fighting with him, every time you saw him, over things you couldn't say.

"Well, I'm not seeing anyone right now," you said.

"Well, I'm sure I could find a friend if you want to come."

“Not an accountant,” Tyler said, and you could sense his whole body tensing. “Not that there’s anything wrong with accountants, she’s just not an accountant kind of girl.”

You frowned at Tyler, because it wasn’t like you could tell everything about anyone from their occupation, but you shook it off.

"Yeah, I'm not really into dating right now. At this stage of my life," you said, looking down at Bentley, sleeping in your arms.

"Yeah, Bentley's her main man," Tyler said.

"Well, you could bring him..."

"I don't really like going out anymore," you said although it came out as more of a question, like you were unsure how people might take it.  "I'm more of a homebody."

"But you brought him out with us the other night?" Tyler asked.  

"Yeah, but that was like a family thing," you said, petting Cash who was sticking his head through the side of the chair, his tail wagging. "I like doing family things."

Tyler turned around now, too, scratching Cash behind the ears and kissing him on the top of the head. "Are you so happy that your baby came to visit you?" he asked, before looking up at you. "I'm gonna go get a drink, you want anything?"

"Umm, just some water," you said, and Jeremy decided to go into the house with him, Danielle looking at you, until they were out of earshot.

"I think he's gonna kill my boyfriend," she said.

"What?" you laughed.

"You should have seen the look on his face when Jeremy suggested setting you up with one of his friends," she said.

"Really?"

"Oh yeah," she said, "It was intense, he looked so pissed off."

"Why are you so happy about it then?"  

"Because he's so in love with you he can't even hide it," she said.

"But he's not..." you said.  Because you couldn't even finish the sentence.  You couldn't even tell her how much it had hurt you, when he said he couldn't be Bentley's dad, and it felt like that was the dagger right there, like he'd made his decision.

"Hey," Tyler said, leaning around you to place your water on the armrest of the chair.  "I'm gonna take Jeremy out on the boat, like really quick.  Can he come with us?"

"Can Bentley come with you?" you repeated.

"Yes," Tyler nodded.

"Umm...no," you said.  "Not today."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't have a life jacket for him," you said, "I can get one, though, and then he can go with you."

"No, I do."

"What?" you asked. "No, you need a special life jacket, for infants, he can't just wear an adult one."

"Yeah, that's what I have," Tyler said.

"You have an infant life jacket?"

"Yeah, it's for 9 to...like 20 or 25 pounds," Tyler said, "He's more than 9 pounds now, right?"

"Yeah..." you said tentatively.

"I'll get it, and you can look at it," he said.  And, sure enough, he did in fact, have an infant life vest.  

"When did you get this?" you asked.

"Umm...last summer, I went to go buy a new cover for the boat to winterize it, and I just saw that and thought it would be a good idea to have around the house. Is it the right one?"

"Yes, it's the right one," you smiled, standing up with Bentley now.  

"He's allowed to come?"

"Yeah," you said, "I just didn't want him to go with out a life jacket."

"Well, I wouldn't have asked otherwise," Tyler said, and then he started giggling, watching as you put Bentley into the life jacket.  "Can he even move in that thing?"

"I don't think so," you said, laughing because Bentley was just staring up at you with wide eyes.

"He's like 'what are you guys doing to me?'" Tyler laughed.

"Well, he's not crying," you said.

"Well, he's not smiling, either," Tyler said.

"Should we get you a hat?" you asked, picking him back up and going over to where you'd put his diaper bag, finding a sun hat, and trying to put it on him, and then grabbing his pacifier and handing it to Tyler.

"Look how cute they are," Tyler said, and you followed his gaze to see Danielle and Jeremy curled up in the hammock, kissing, and then Tyler just whistled at them.  

"Stop, you're gonna embarrass them," your said.

"He won't care, not if he really loves her," Tyler said, taking Bentley from you, "You don't want to come?"

"No," you said, "I don't know if I can handle the motion anymore."

"You don't know if you can handle the motion anymore," Tyler scoffed.

"Yeah," you said, "And I don't really think the dogs are gonna like you taking him."

"Okay," Tyler said, "Dani, you want to come?"

"'No, that's okay."

"K, say goodbye to your girls," Tyler said, tilting Bentley towards you. "Bye, Mama.  I will tell you all about it when I get back."

His hat fell off, though, and Gerry jumped and snatched it out of the air before it even hit the ground.  

"Gerry!" Tyler yelled, even as Gerry ran off behind the tree with the hat in his mouth.  "Come here!"

"C'mhere," you said, crouching down and patting your legs, grabbing one of his ball's from the ground.  "Here, I'll trade you.  Good boy."

"No, that's a bad dog," Tyler said, as you put Bentley's hat back on, Gerry's tail still wagging.

"He's just learning," you said.

"He knows better," Tyler said, looking down at Bentley now, moving his chin to hold his hat on.  "I don't know if this thing is gonna stay on him."

"Well, just try your best, I can't put sunscreen on him or anything."

"It's not that hot out."

"Yeah, but his skin is sensitive," you said.

"'K well, he's gonna be on me the whole time," Tyler said, "Yeah, I'll protect you from the sun."

"Let me take a picture," you said, and Tyler just grinned, putting his face next to Bentley's.  

"He's got his fisherman hat on, he's all ready to go," Tyler said. "Are you gonna drive the boat, bud?"

You'd be lying if you said you weren't just a little bit nervous about him being on the boat, but you knew you'd triple checked the straps on the life jacket, and Tyler had Bentley propped up on his lap, one arm strong around him, just pulling the boat out as slowly as possible, leaning around to check Bentley's reaction.  

"Oh my heart," you said, opening your phone to take a video of them, hearing a collection of paws following you out onto the dock.  You felt Danielle with you as well, as Tyler handed Bentley over to Jeremy for just a moment to take his shirt off, and Jeremy leaned around, making a series of faces, and then handed him back to Tyler, leaning in to interact with the baby.

Just as you suspected, though, as they drove away, Marshall started running to the edge of the dock barking, while Gerry followed him, and Cash was looking like he was contemplating jumping in.  

"Okay, you don't need to swim after them it's too cold," you said, "C'mon, guys let's go wait over here on the grass.  Marshall?  Marshall!  They're okay, c'mon."

Finally you managed to get him over next to you, where he very promptly flopped onto his back to have his belly rubbed. Danielle laughed, setting down next to you, occupying the dogs.

"Is it just me, or are guys with babies super hot?" she asked. "How do you not just....jump him all the time?"

"Well, I don't just...normally jump him," you laughed awkwardly.

"Ah, so he does the jumping, I see."

"Well..I mean, kind of, yeah," you said.  "I don't know, it was easier when were trying to get pregnant, because they pretty much every time we saw each other, it was like, maybe we should have sex."

"Yeah, it is easy to have sex with someone who you're not in a relationship with or have any kind of agreement with if you're trying to make a baby."

You just gave her a look, leaning back onto the grass.

"Have you guys....since he was born?"

You shook your head.  "I don't even know if I can yet," you said, "I have an appointment in a few days."

"Oh," she said, "Are you going to after that then?"

"No," you said, "No I don't think so."

Because things had changed, there was a Before Bentley and an After Bentley.  And maybe there was a little bit of overlap, but it seemed like you didn't touch quite the same way.  You didn't just end up kissing, or see each other naked, or just curl up in bed together.

And maybe you were imagining it, but he didn't call you 'babe' as much anymore.  

But that didn't make sense either, because it wasn't like that was a new thing, when you started on this whole....journey together.

So you just played with the dogs, until Marshall just ran to the end of the dock barking again, and then you saw them come back around the corner, just as they'd left.  

"Did he like it?" you asked, once they were parked.  

"He loved it," Tyler said, "I think.  He wasn't really smiling, but he was looking all around and stuff, I took a video on my phone so you can see."

He handed you the baby's hat, stepping off the boat and then all the dogs were just swarming him to try and sniff the baby's feet.  

"Here, let's take this thing off of you and put it away for next time," Tyler said, laying Bentley down and he cooed as Tyler unbuckled him, tickling his belly.  "Are you tell Mama how fun it was? Convincing her to come with us next time?"

You laughed, "The dogs were not very happy about it."

"Yeah, I heard.  How come they don't care when I go out on the boat, but the second the baby does, they freak out?"

"I don't know, maybe they know he doesn't know how to swim," you said.

"Yeah," Tyler said, lifting Bentley back up, holding him in front of you. "I need to tell you something exciting, Mommy."

"What's that?"

"I got really, really excited when I was on Uncle Ty-Ty's boat, and I accidentally pooped my pants."

"Oh," you said, taking him from Tyler, and then you looked back over your shoulder.  "Where should I change him?"

"Wherever you want? I don't know, usually you change him on the floor, when I changed him I just put his mat thing down on the bed because I have old man knees," Tyler said, peering at you.  "You're being so weird today."

"I'm not being weird."

"Kinda weird," Tyler said, running his hand through his hair, as you picked up the diaper bag and started back towards the house.

"Okay, I guess you're all coming with me," you said, holding the door open for the dogs to get through.  

It was weird, and awkward, though, as everyone else left and it was just the couples.  Or, really, the couples of Danielle and Jeremy and Mike and Josie, and then it was just you, and Tyler, and Bentley.  

And it was also very awkward, when you ordered pizza and were watching T.V., Bentley sleeping on the couch surrounded by a wall of pillows, and Tyler just picked up your pizza and ate most of the cheese right off it, and then he'd had to explain that you couldn't eat much dairy because it made your baby's stomach hurt.

But it was fine.

You were fine.

You were just considering packing up Bentley and heading out, when you came out of the bathroom to discover that everyone else had gone back outside, and Tyler was now holding Bentley, who appeared to be dressed in one of Tyler's zip-ups, his whole body swimming in the fabric, and the arms tied around his body, like some sort of makeshift swaddling blanket.

"Did you put him in your sweatshirt?" you laughed.

"Yeah, he was getting cold, and we're gonna go outside and have a fire," Tyler said.

"He has his own sweatshirts and blankets, you know."

"He likes this," Tyler said, hugging him close, and Bentley started crying, and then Tyler started bouncing with him.  "Okay, maybe he doesn't like this."

"Awe," you said, taking Bentley from Tyler and bouncing him yourself, his cries getting quieter pretty much immediately.

"I was doing that exact same thing," Tyler said. "How come you only want Mama?"

"Sometimes he cries when I have him, and then he's fine when you take him," you said, "He just wants what he wants when he wants it."

"Is that true?" Tyler asked, leaning over to kiss him.  "Do you want to have a bonfire? Are you so excited for your first bonfire?"

And you realized, then, that somehow Tyler had managed to be there for all of Bentley's firsts, even though he wasn't physically there for most of the first month of Bentley's life.

**

Nothing made sense anymore.

You just could not handle the mixed signals anymore, the feeling like he was pulling away to do things on his own, and then he'd call you, like he did when he was away, to tell you he missed you.

He'd only let you take Cash, while he was gone, too, which was just ridiculous because the dogs didn't like to be apart from each other too much, especially Marshall and Cash, so you'd had to meet Tyler's mom so they could actually see each other again.   

And you had to refrain from asking her why her son was being such an idiot.

But then he'd just hug you, and everything felt right.

Only for him to pull away again, and get lost in his own world, not really seeming to understand why you didn't want to come over, when he was having a party, when you had an infant, because he seemed to just think you could put the baby to sleep in his bed, and just tell everyone to keep it down.

It did not work.

And, yet.  

And yet when Bentley was screaming his head off in your arms, and you felt like you wanted to scream, it was his name that your shaky finger found in your phone.  Every single time.

"Hey," Tyler answered.

You took a deep, shuttering breath, and preparing yourself to speak, but he beat you to it.

"What's wrong?" he asked.  And his concerned tone, letting you know he was focused on nothing else other than making sure you were okay, made you lose it.  "I'm coming over, okay?' he said, and you felt like you could hear the jingles of his keys, already.

"Okay," you whispered.

"Just hang tight," he said.  But as you hung up, you gripped your phone, hard in your hand, and then tossed it on the couch, hot tears running down your face.  Because you felt like you needed him, like he was all you wanted, but as soon as you'd reached out, you felt like a failure.

This was supposed to be your thing.

"I am so sorry," you said, clutching your son to your chest, rubbing your hand up and down his back, because it was all you could do.  You jumped when you heard the car door slam, and then again, when the front door of your house was open and shut in one motion.  He looked at you, and you knew he just saw it all, his face softening.

And you lost it again.

You looked at each other, for a moment, as if Bentley's cries went quiet, and then life seemed to take over again.

"Okay," Tyler said, taking Bentley from you, "Let's go lay down in your crib for a minute."

"He has a fever, Tyler," you said, following Tyler to the nursery, where he laid Bentley down in his crib.

"Yeah, it's okay," Tyler said, taking your shoulder, and pulling you away from the crib.  "If he's crying, then he's breathing, he'll be okay for one minute."

"I...." you said.

"Shhh..." Tyler said, in a way that could be condescending, but wasn't, and you took a deep breath, Bentley's cries quieter now that the door of his room was closed. He sat down on the couch, leaning forward so his arms were braced on his forearms.  "He has a fever?"

"Yeah," you choked out, running your hand through your hair, frowning when it got caught on a tangle.

"What was it?"

"100.6," you said.

"Well, that's not much of a fever," Tyler said.

"It is for a baby his age, and I can't give him any medication because he's too young," you said.  "I think he has an ear infection, because he keeps pulling at his ear, and he had that cold, and I took him to the doctor and they said his ears were okay. But now he has a fever."

"Well, when did you take him to the doctor?"

You weren't sure, quite what days were anymore, because it felt like you'd been hold up with a sick baby for the past week, not knowing what was day or night.  "It was that day, that you went to that concert, because you snapchatted me to ask me what shoes you should wear," you said.

"So, two days ago," Tyler said.

"Yeah," you said, "and he's barely eaten anything all day, and he won't sleep, and now he has a fever, and he's not supposed to have a fever."

"Okay, so what do we do?"

"Well, if a baby under three months has a fever higher than 100.6, then they're supposed to go to the doctor right away, or go to the E.R."

"Well, is the doctor's office open now?"

"No," you said, "I called, like, half an hour ago, and I hoped they were gonna call me back but they didn't."

"Well, then we'll take him to the hospital," Tyler said, standing up.

"But I don't want to take him to the hospital."

"I know, I don't want to either, babe, but this is what he needs," Tyler said.  "Is he okay in what he's wearing, or does he need to get changed?"

"I think he's fine, I don't want to put too much on him," you said, "I don't know what to take though."

"Well, just him, and his diaper bag," Tyler said, scratching his head, both of you walking towards Bentley's room now, "I don't know, does he have a health card of some kind?"

"No," you said, going into the room and pulling Bentley from his crib, resting your cheek against his forehead. "I meant if we have to stay overnight."

You felt like you needed to go as fast as possible, but also it also felt like you needed to slow things down.

"Well, let's not get too ahead of ourselves."

"Tyler...."

"If you have to stay, I'll come home and get what you need," Tyler said, "but let's just focus on getting him there."

"Okay," you said.  

"I'm so sorry you don't feel good, bud," Tyler said, rubbing his hand and then placing a kiss on your temple.  "We're gonna figure out what's going on with you, 'k? You ready, Mama?"

"Yeah," you breathed, grabbing a couple more diapers to stick in the bag, walking to the front door to put Bentley in his car seat and put your shoes on.

To make matters worse, it was raining.

"I'll drive, then you can sit with him," Tyler said.

"Okay," you said, weakly, getting into the backseat with Bentley, tucking a light blanket around him.

"Awe, poor little guy," Tyler said, once he started to drive, and Bentley continued to cry, sticking his hand in the backseat, and you weren't sure if it was for you to hold or if he was trying to reach the baby.  "We're gonna take you to the doctor, and they're gonna make you feel all better."

"Did you get the bag?" You asked, sitting up now.

"Yes,  babe , I got the bag," Tyler laughed lightly.

It was all you could do, as you drove, though, to just watch Bentley, offering him his pacifier, and rubbing his hands, or running your hand over his head.

You tried a pediatric urgent care clinic first, only to be told that they weren't accepting any more patients tonight, and directing you to a pediatric E.R. You'd never seen Tyler look so angry, continuing to glare at the man who'd told you 'no' even as you turned to walk back to the car in the rain.  

So, when you got to the E.R., the first thing you did was take Bentley out of his carseat, tucking a blanket around him, which Tyler then held up above his head so he wouldn't get rained on as you went inside.

You anxiety was lessened a bit when the nurse took his stats, and you learned that his oxygen levels, heard rate, and  blood pressure were all normal, and his temperature had come down 0.2 degrees from when you'd taken it at home, but he was just still so sad.

The nurse said that you'd be seen next, since he was so little.  But next turned out to mean over an hour of you trying to rock Bentley in the chair, as far away from anyone else waiting as possible because you didn't want him to get more sick, Tyler holding your hand or just resting his hand on your shoulder, his thumb moving back and forth, and Tyler giving dirty looks to anyone who seemed annoyed by the crying baby, his body moving around yours.

It turned out, it was like you though, a full-blown ear infection in one ear, and a mild one in the other, so, another hour later, you were driving to the pharmacy, a prescription for antibiotics clutched in your hand.  Thankfully, though, Bentley had fallen asleep about five minutes after you'd gotten back in the car, even though he was still making little noises in his sleep.

"Do you want me to take you guys home, and then I can come back to pick up his prescription?" Tyler asked.

"Ummm..." you said, looking at your finally sleeping baby, albeit not peacefully, "I think I might have to do it, I'm not sure, I've never gotten a prescription filled for him before."

"Oh, right," Tyler said, the sound of the blinking turn signal sounding loud in the quiet now.

"He's on my insurance," you said, realizing that you were curving the corner of the prescription, and now attempted to smooth out any wrinkles.

"Yeah," Tyler said, pulling into the parking lot, and finding a parking spot.  "You want me to stay in the car with him so you can run in?"

"Yes, please," you said, taking off your seatbelt.  But you sat, unmoving, staring at the raindrops rolling down the window until there were teardrops rolling down your cheeks.

"What are you-?" Tyler said under his breath, and then he turned around fully, and you slowly met his eye.  "Why are you crying?"

"It's just...he's sick," you said, "he's sick enough that he needs medicine."

"Yeah, well, that's okay, kids get sick a lot, you must've known he was gonna get sick."

"Yeah, but I didn't think it'd be so soon," you said, sucking in a breath, "and i didn't think it'd be my fault."

"What?" Tyler whispered,  "it's not your fault. The doctor said lots of babies get ear infections, because of how their ear tubes are."

"Yeah, because they can't drain properly after they have a cold.  And he caught a cold, because I've taken him out, shopping and I've taken him to mommy and me yoga, and he was around so many babies. And moms.  He could have gotten sick from anyone there.  Or from anywhere."

You could see Tyler chewing on his lip.  "Well, did your doctor say you weren't supposed to take him out?"

"No, but-"

"Then you didn't do anything wrong, " Tyler said.  "You can't just keep him cooped up either, that can't be good for him.   He likes being out, and looking at new things."

"No, I know," you sighed, "I just didn't think I'd have to take him to the E.R. at 2 months old."

"Yeah, but, you know what, I bet there's a bunch of 3 month old babies who haven't even been to the E.R. yet, he's an overachiever baby" Tyler said.  "We should have have taken a picture: Baby's first E.R. visit."

You laughed, just a little, running your hand over your face.  "I'm not really sure I want to remember this day," you said.  "Can you watch him,while I go get this?"

"Yes," Tyler laughed, although you weren't sure why.

When you came back, the light from his phone was illuminating his face, and you opened the passenger side, sliding in next to him, immediately leaning back into the backseat.

"He's still sleeping," Tyler said, setting his phone down, "I just checked on him."

"That's good," you said, smiling a little, running your hands up and down your sides. "It's gonna be half an hour."

"Well, why don't we take him home?" Tyler asked, "he's probably tired."

"Yeah," you said, reaching for your seatbelt and then leaning back.  

"Can I pick up his medicine?"

"Umm...yeah, you could," you said, stifling a yawn.  "They asked me when I set up his account,  if it was alright if other people picked things up for him and I said that was fine."

"Okay, well, you want to go home, and I'll come back and get it?"

"Yeah," you said, "that'd be really helpful."

Tyler smiled, his hand settling on your knee, rubbing it every now and again, as you leaned agains the car door, holding your head up.  

Bentley was still sleeping when you got home, so you very carefully carried his car seat into the bedroom,setting the carseat down, and then closing the door gently, padding back into the hall where Tyler was waiting.

"Thank you so much," you said, walking right into his arms.  "I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been here."

You felt his lips against the top of your head, his hand  rubbing up and down your back. "You would have called your mom, or your sister, or Danielle, or my mom, or my sisters, or, maybe like your aunt or something, " Tyler said, "Or you would have just taken him yourself."

"I don't think I could have done that."

"Yeah, you could have," Tyler insisted.  "You knew exactly what was wrong with him, and exactly what he needed.  You would have made sure he had what he needed.  But you're allowed to ask for help, too."

"I did."

"No, you don't," Tyler said, pulling against you.  "If I'm here or if I offer, then sure.  But you don't call me and say 'hey, my baby's been up all night, can you come hold him for a bit?' or 'hey, I could really use a hand with getting some groceries'. And people want to help you.  But you have to let us."

You stepped back from him, taking a breath, and running your hand over your face again.

"You alright?" Tyler asked.

"Yeah," you said.  "It's just been a really, really long week.  I'm just, like, really emotional."

Tyler tilted his head at you, smiling softly, and then he pulled you back in to him.  "You're such a good mom, though," he said, his hand going to your shoulders so he could look you in the eyes, his thumb coming up to wipe under your eye.  "He doesn't even know what love is, but he knows he loves you."

You smiled softly, letting him hug you again.  "Thank you."

"Anytime,"  he said.  And you kind of just wanted to stay there forever, in his arms, except you could hear Bentley start to fuss, like a sixth sense, and you padded into your bedroom to pull him out of his carseat before he got really upset, holding him to you, your hand instinctively feeling his forehead. "Shhh..." you soothed, bouncing him as you walked over to the glider, and then you kept your hand steady on his back as you started to rock.  "He just wants to be held," you said, kissing the top of his head.

"Well, he should get as many cuddles as he wants," Tyler said, running his hand over Bentley's head, and placing a kiss there, and then doing the same with you.  "I'm gonna go get his medicine.  Do you need anything from the store?"

"No, I don't think," you said, and Tyler gave you a stern look, and then you tried to think back over your day in your head, knowing there was something you needed.  "Oh, I need almond milk.  For my coffee."

"Okay.  Anything else? Diapers?"

"No, I have lots," you said.  "Actually, can you get me the chocolate almond milk, please?"

"Yes," Tyler laughed, standing there still, shifting his weight back and forth, flipping the keys in his hand.  "So, I'm just gonna go to the drug store, and then I'm gonna go to my house and pick up the dogs, and then I'll be back."

"Okay," you said, kissing Bentley again, "Wait, why are you getting the dogs?"

"Because I can't leave them home alone overnight," Tyler laughed.

"You're staying?"

"Mhmm..." Tyler said, like it was already decided.

"I feel better now, Tyler, you don't have to stay."

"Remember this talk we just had about you needing to accept help?" he asked, smiling softly.  

"Yes," you said, smiling now too, "But if he's up in the night, then he's gonna want to eat, and you can't really...do anything there, to take care of him." There was no sense in both of you being tired, and maybe Tyler could just come back tomorrow.

"But I can take care of you," he said simply, looking at you for just a moment.  "How about bottles?"

"Bottles?" you asked.

"For him," Tyler said, pointing at the baby, "I could give him a bottle, if you showed me how."

"Oh," you said, "Yeah, I haven't given him a bottle yet, and I don't really want to introduce that right now."

"Why not?"

"Well, I don't even know if he'll take it, and I also don't want him to get nipple confusion."

"What is nipple confusion?" Tyler laughed.

"When you give them other things, like pacifiers and bottles, and they get confused and forget how to breastfeed," you said.

"Oh," Tyler laughed again, "That sounded more exciting than it is."

"And he's been having a hard time eating lately, and I don't know if it's because he has a pacifier or what, but I just don't want him to stop breastfeeding."

"Okay, so I'll go get this, and the dogs, and I'll be back," Tyler said, smiling, "I have a key to your place, and three huge dogs, you couldn't keep us out if you wanted to."

"Okay," you laughed,

"You guys need anything before I go?"

"Can you turn on the nature sounds on his basinette?" you asked, and then pointed at the nightstand, which was just a complete mess, you noticed, filled with half-dranken drinks and empty snack wrappers, "And turn the diffuser on? I have stuff in there that's supposed to help with congestion for him. Thank you."

"I'll be right back," he promised, and you continued to rock Bentley while he was gone.  It didn't seem like very long before you heard your front door open, and the sound of paws throughout the house, and it sounded like Tyler was going into the kitchen to put the milk away.  "We have to be really, really quiet, guys," you heard Tyler say in a soft voice,  "He might be sleeping and he's not feeling very good, so I need you guys to be good."

You smiled, and it wasn't very long before your bedroom door flung open, all three dogs coming in panting.  "K, on the bed," Tyler said, trailing in after them and patting the mattress.  They tried to sniff a bit, but did jump up, probably sensing the energy in the room, and Tyler smiled, kissing them all.  "Good boys."

Tyler came around, leaning over to where Bentley was laying against your chest.  "Is he sleeping?" you asked.

"No, his eyes are open, but he looks really, really sleepy," Tyler said, holding up the bag.  "Do you want to give this to him now?"

"I don't know, how often is he supposed to have it?"

"Every 12 hours," Tyler said, "I also got some baby probiotics for him, because the pharmacist said it'd help his tummy when he's on antibiotics."

"Well, when does he get those?" you asked.

"Umm..." Tyler said, opening the bag and looking at the box.  "It says 2 to 3 hours before or after antibiotics, put it on his pacifier, or with formula or breast milk."

You rolled your eyes at Tyler laughing as he said 'breast'.

"Okay, so let's give him the antibiotics now, and then just put the probiotics here, and I'll give them to him when he eats next."

"Okay," Tyler said, taking out the oral syringe and then medication. "Do you want me to do this?"

"Did you wash your hands?" you asked.

"Yeah, I did when I got back from the store."

"Okay," you said, "Do you know how to do the dosage and stuff?"

"Yeah, it's like when I did your shots," Tyler said, "Except no needles."

Still, he let you double check the dosage, before he crouched down, putting it in Bentley's mouth.  "Squirt it towards the side of his mouth so it's harder for him to spit back out," you said.

"Okay," Tyler said, his eyes focused as he did so, and Bentley just kind of coughed a little and made a face, but managed to get most of it down before he  started crying again, and you watched all three dogs lift their heads up, staring at you, Gerry starting to whine, but he didn't make a move to jump off the bed.

"Oh," you said, rubbing his back. "It's okay, that's gonna help you feel better."

"He's like 'what is this? This is not my milk,'" Tyler said.

You laughed, "I tried to give him milk, but he took like two sips and then he didn't want anymore."

"Well, maybe he's not hungry."

"I know," you said, "But I wanted him to have fluids.  He hasn't had anything for, like, 6 hours."

"Yes, he has," Tyler said, "You fed him in the car, after we left the hospital."

"I did?" you asked.  

"Yes," Tyler laughed, "I don't know how much he had, but he had something. I think maybe he just might want to sleep now, he's tired."

"Yeah," you said, looking down at him, "I just want to sit up with him for a bit, and make sure he doesn't have an allergic reaction.  You're not allergic to any antibiotics, right?"

"No," Tyler said, smirking at you.  "The doctor asked us that, at the hospital."

"He did?" you asked.

"Yes," Tyler smiled, his hand smoothing over your head.  "You're exhausted, babe. Do you want me to put him in his bed?"

"No," you said. "I can't sleep right now, anyways.  We can watch T.V., if you want."

"'K," Tyler said, "Grey's?"

You shook your head.  "I don't think I can handle that right now."

"Okay," Tyler said, grabbing your remote and getting on your bed, sitting on top of the blankets with the dogs.  "Let's watch something funny.  Oh, we can watch that house show you liked."

"Okay," you said.  Even though you were really just barely watching, your eyes heavy as you rocked your baby, kissing him, and just feeling grateful that it wasn't worse. You felt chilled, too, and you realized that you'd probably been cold the whole evening, and yet hadn't realized it, your eyes watering, not from emotion, but more so because you were just so wholly exhausted, emotionally and physically.

"Tyler?" you asked, after it was after 1, and you'd been sitting up with Bentley for over and hour and nothing had changed, other than the fact that he'd fallen asleep on you.  "Could you bring in his swing from the living room? I want to see if he'd sleep better like that, if he's on an incline, it might make his ear hurt less?"

"Yeah, sure," Tyler said. And once he did, you just stood up with Bentley slowly, very carefully setting him in his swing.  

"Shh...." you said when he stirred a little, and you kept crouched in front of him until he seemed to settle, and then you smiled at Tyler, backing away slowly and looking for your pajamas  where you'd left them on the floor.  You changed, in the dim light, realizing that Tyler hadn't seem you naked since you'd given birth, but you didn't care anymore.

This was just your life now.

You just wanted it all out there, and you didn't want to play pretend anymore.  

This was you.

You turned around, once you'd changed and you saw that he'd followed suit in getting ready for bed, his shirt gone, and you frowned, taking a step forward, your eyes focused on those very familiar numbers on his torso, opposite his Stanley cup tattoo, and that name, you'd chosen for your son, in cursive above.

"Is that his birth date?" you asked.

"Well, I hope so," Tyler laughed.  "Someone really screwed up if it isn't."

"No, no, it's right," you said, stepping forward still, your hand extended as if you wanted to touch it.

"You didn't see it before until now?" Tyler asked, "I've had it the whole time I've been home."

"Really?" you asked, kneeling on the side of the bed so you could run your finger over it now.

"Yeah, I got it after the playoffs," he said, and you stood back up.

"Wha - why?" you asked dumbly.

"Because he's always gonna be a part of me," Tyler answered, matter-of-factly.

"Really?" you asked with your whole heart.

"Yeah, of course," Tyler smiled at you. "C'mon, boys, move over, let Mama in."

You managed to wiggle your way in, curled up, but it didn't really matter, laying on your side so you could still see Bentley sleeping, and you felt the warmth of Tyler behind you.  You smiled, reaching your hand back to find Tyler's and you threaded your fingers through his, wrapping his arm around you, and you felt him move closer, his lips pressed against the back of your head.

You just needed to know he was there, with you, too.

[reformedkingsmanagent]

Happy V-Day Anniversary...

A/N: I’m sorry, I know this is a painful day for a special few of us, so here’s my gift to you. Be warned, it’s gratuitously fluffy and probably doesn’t make a whole lot of sense now that I think about it but I’ve done too much for it to delete it now. Also smut. Happy Valentine’s Day, I love you guys, and I hope regardless of what your plans are that your day goes as smoothly as possible.

Warning: smut (sorry, not used to the citrus fruit scale?? feels weird to call it something else. thanks tumblr.)

It was everywhere. He couldn’t set foot outside his flat without hearing about it. The ‘terrible Valentine Massacre,’ an event experienced by practically the whole world. An event Charlie very much wished to forget. In the few years since that day in Valentine’s bunker, Charlie’s done his absolute best to shut it away. He didn’t need to dwell on things he had no power to change. It was over. In the past.

He repeated it like a mantra in his head.

Still, when every news channel hosted specials about it, it was more than a little difficult to deal with. Getting away from his TV was supposed to help, but he could hear people talking about it as he passed them on the street, sharing stories or wondering how on earth it happened in the first place. Newsstands were covered in headlines honoring those lost on that day.

Charlie wondered if his own family would be listed among the many dead, or if they were forgotten for simply being in the wrong place.

No one talked about how it all ended.

Because they didn’t know the truth.

Hell, even Charlie wasn’t awake to see the fight between Gazelle and Eggsy, but it was clear by the carnage left behind that he’d ascended to true ‘hero’ status, while Charlie was left behind, stepping over so much mess, simply trying to stay conscious.

What did they expect him to do? Come crawling to the tailor shop, begging for forgiveness?

His hand was forced, or that’s what he told himself, at least, regarding this most recent blow. He tried not to think about that, either. He never wanted to see another burger again.

Left on autopilot, stewing in his thoughts, he finally glanced down at his watch, cursing as he realized he missed lunch. It wasn’t the first time, but on a day like today, he could’ve used a healthy dose of your advice.

That’s what he told himself anyway.

He pulled out his phone, dismissing the news alerts as quickly as possible, but not quickly enough, and immediately dialed your number.

He felt eyes on him as he stood in the middle of the sidewalk and he turned his back to the open cafe beside him, eyes scanning the road as the phone rang against his ear.

“Please leave a message for—”

“Shit,” he mumbled, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to focus his thoughts so he didn’t alarm you. “Hey, listen, I lost track of time today, I’m really sorry. You’re probably back at work already, so… when you get this, can you call me? I really need a friendly voice in my ear right now. Again, so sorry. Bye.”

He ended the call, half-tempted to chuck the phone into the gutter out of frustration. He only barely stopped himself. He just needed to be patient. He needed to wait for your call. You’d call, you always called.

He took in a deep breath before wandering into a small open market, mind focused on you.

*****

Charlie woke from a nap to the sound of someone knocking at his door. He sat up with a groan, taking a moment to wipe at his face before getting to his feet. He walked through the darkened apartment, not turning any lights on as he’d memorized the floor plan ages ago. Soon enough he reached the door and peeked out, only to be greeted by you.

A ripple of panic ran through him at the state of… well, everything. Not expecting you by, he definitely hadn’t cleaned, and he wasn’t dressed for visitors either. Still, he wasn’t about to keep you waiting or turn you away.

He really did need to talk to you, even if it was usually a bit like pulling teeth.

He unlocked the door and held it open, watching for your reaction to his clearly disheveled state.

“I didn’t know if you’d be okay with me coming here…” You gave him a once-over before smiling sadly. “I know I should’ve called first, but you sounded so upset, I came straight over.”

He glanced at the paper bag in your arms. “Straight over?”

You hid behind the top of the bag as you felt your face get warm. “You missed lunch, so…”

He took the bag from you, inspecting the contents as you followed him inside.

Steak, lobster, some potatoes, and a bunch of other things he couldn’t immediately identify had his stomach growling. He hoped you didn’t hear. You didn’t need to worry after him eating too.

“I’m cooking you dinner,” you explained, moving into his kitchen after turning on the lights.

“It’s a pretty fucking lavish spread, love.” He set the bag on the counter and looked up at you, a smile beginning to form on his face, his first one for the day, though you couldn’t have known that. He felt his heart get just a touch lighter at the thought that you’d cook such a meal for him. “I can cook for you,” he argued, the smile only growing as he watched you pull a grill pan out of one of the cabinets.

“Charlie, just let me do this for you. I kind of feel like shit for missing your call.”

“I’m the one who missed lunch in the first place,” he countered, walking over. “Wandering around with my head stuck up my—”

“It’s always going to be a difficult day.” Your hand on his forearm did wonders for his mental well-being but completely tanked his self-control. “You don’t need to apologize for it.” He stayed extremely still, but nodded to you.

He liked your hair like that.

You put on some music, his position allowing him to peek and catch sight of your phone as you connected it to a wireless speaker set up on the bar. He swore he thought your home screen was a picture of the two of you during a much easier meeting.

What the fuck was he doing?

“At the very least, can I help? It’ll… It’ll help me keep my mind off things.”

No it won’t. It’s an excuse to be closer to you.

You nodded with a smile, encouraged by his growing ease, pushing the butcher paper-wrapped steaks towards him on the counter as you set the carefully hand-picked potatoes in front of you, preparing to wash them.

“What did you do today?”

He wasn’t sure how to answer without sounding extremely pathetic. The sink drowned out his more rational thoughts and he looked down at the raw, vividly red meat in front of him, struggling to keep composure as his mind flashed things he wished he’d never seen.

No one should ever have that mental image tucked away for a rainy day.

“Charlie?”

He jumped, clearly startled. He felt a flush of embarrassment as he gripped the edge of the countertop tightly, risking damage with his right hand.

You glanced down at his white-knuckle grip, one of your much softer hands passing over his left. It was wet from the sink, but he didn’t care. “Hey, why don’t you open up this, have a drink and relax, hmm?” You passed him a bottle of wine, chilled already. He could imagine you shopping around the store, thinking of what he’d like.

You did too much for him, he felt. But he didn’t want to sound like he didn’t want the care and concern. He craved it. From you. And that was the problem.

He was able to speak now that you’d folded up the paper. He got down two glasses and rummaged around in a drawer for a corkscrew as he thought of what to tell you.

“I just walked. For a long time. I kept hearing bits of newscasts or people talking about it, thought if I walked for long enough, I’d finally be out of range. I’d reach the edge of the city and there would be no one to remind me of it over and over again as if I don’t relive it during my every waking moment—”

He cut himself off, taking a large sip from the first glass he poured, topping it off again and taking another before pouring yours.

“What bothers you most about it?” you asked, taking the glass from him, both of you locking eyes as you drank.

You held the glass in your hands and his eyes passed over your fingers, the lack of a ring there causing a spike in his chest. You couldn’t date, you were too busy taking care of him.

And deep down he knew he wouldn’t want you to.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be tonight? Instead of babysitting me? It’s a tragedy no one’s staked their claim.”

He saw the annoyance in your face, enjoyed the way your cheeks went a bit high as your expression shifted. You turned and set the glass down beside the sink before reacting. “Don’t change the subject, Charlie—”

“I don’t like how my brain forces me to relive my worst mistakes on audio cue. Whenever I hear his name, or if someone says fucking—”

“Happy Valentine’s Day?”

He almost lost it. You were watching him carefully, and he knew you did it on purpose. He didn’t know if he was more hurt or angry. But he channeled his emotions into the look that was on your face.

Before you knew what was happening, you were sitting on the countertop, his hands holding your face in place as he pressed his lips against yours with the kind of force that you swore could only come from anger.

But you didn’t sense anger coming from him.

You were pressing against his chest to get him to take a step back but it was like pushing against a brick wall. Solid. Firm.

Nice.

As he angled his head so his nose wasn’t pressing so hard against yours, you were able to suck in a breath and turn your head away. His nose moved to the side of your face, hands still in your hair, wide palms covering your cheeks as he breathed deeply, standing between your legs.

“We can’t do this, Charlie.”

He let out a whine as his hands slipped down your face, resting on your spread thighs. His thumbs made slow circles as he slowly inched the dress higher. You weren’t stopping him.

Your own hands moved up to smooth over his soft hair, so much longer now that he’d finally stopped buzzing it short.

“Why not?” he whispered, swollen lips tugging at your ear.

“You’re just lonely,” you whispered back.

He shook his head. He wasn’t. He was sure of it. Back when he met you he didn’t have a clue what he wanted. Being ‘just friends’ was the best thing he could’ve asked for. Now, the idea of a proper relationship didn’t scare him so much. You knew everything about him, the good and the bad, and you were still around. There had to be more to it, right? He hoped there was more to it.

Nobody could be that selfless. Not for him.

He tested your limits, fingers inching their way higher along your thighs until you closed your eyes tightly with a hiss and he felt pressure at his sides from you trying to close your legs.

As his thumb passed over the thin material covering that sweet, sweet  area between your legs, he felt the dampness and grinned.

“Are you ‘just lonely’ too?” he teased.

You didn’t have an answer for him, instead pressing your forehead against his shoulder in an attempt to hide your reaction as his fingers pulled the fabric aside and he got his first chance at your folds.

He stared straight ahead as you clung to him, though he wasn’t really looking at anything, much more focused on mentally mapping your lower half through touch alone. He easily slid two fingers in, your body preparing you long before he even laid a hand on you. As you gasped, the metal hand reached up to gently brush over your cheek, keeping your open mouth against the base of his neck as your breathing became more audible.

He could feel you moving into his touch, trying to find deeper penetration. It was enough for him to consider stopping so he could relieve himself of all the built up tension.

But where’s the fun in that?

As his thumb smoothed over your clit he felt you trembling on his fingers. As he curled his fingers up you squeezed his shoulders so tightly even he grunted in response.

Your lips attached to his neck and he hardly suppressed a shudder as you began sucking softly, one of your hands moving to the other side of his neck for support as if you were drinking from him.

A ‘thank you’ if he’d ever seen one.

He felt like he was slowly going mad.

As you picked your head up he took his chance, reconnecting your mouths, his mind spinning over the fact that he finally had you here, that he could give something back to you in return for spending your time worrying over him for so long.

You were so responsive, so receptive to him, he needed more.

“What about dinner?” you mumbled against his lips as he lifted you up off the counter, the potatoes rolling off and hitting the floor with dull thumps, music much too low to disguise the way you were breathing.

“We can cook after,” he answered, carrying you off towards his bedroom. His earlier hunger was forgotten, pushed aside in favor of something much more satisfying.

“You’ll fall asleep after,” you complained. He stole a kiss, sloppy and full of tongue.

“This is more important.”

You couldn’t argue with that.

He sat on the edge of the plush bed, keeping you in his lap as he pulled his shirt off over his head. You did your best to help, but as soon as his skin was revealed you were smoothing your hands all over, head lowering to nip at his chest. He let himself be pushed back, his hands going for your hair, brushing it aside and holding it out of the way. He wanted to watch you.

He flushed as your palm passed over the obvious bulge, felt himself break out into a sweat as your fingers tugged down the waistband of both his track pants and underwear, your eyes watching for the moment he’d spring free.

His head sank back into the blankets and his hands fell away as he felt your lips around the head of his cock, tongue swirling around it probably directly contributing to how lightheaded he felt. He wanted to look, wanted to have the visual stimulation as well as the physical, but if he was honest, he’d probably give it up right then and there.

His grip on the comforter tightened.

You were taking your time with him, hands smoothing up and down his thighs, listening to the noises he was making. You lifted your head, replacing your mouth with your hand as you went lower to get at his—

His hand was soft on your arm as he made a noise that sounded like something close to ‘don’t.’

You sat up, concern clear in your expression. Before you could open your mouth to ask, he was already reassuring you.

“I won’t last much longer, love, and there’s something else I want.” You could see his pink cheeks, his flushed chest, in the light from the open bedroom door. His hands moved to your hips as he breathed deeply.

You looked him dead in the eye.

“Promise me.”

“Promise you what?” he panted.

“Promise me I’m not just a distraction.”

Guilt filled him. Not because it was true, but because you thought he’d do that to you, after all this time. All this companionship. All these meetings and all these confessions. All these conversations and lazy days, all these holidays spent together because neither of you wanted to be alone.

There was a lot about this “friendship” that he was starting to see in a different light.

“You’re not,” he insisted, sitting up. “I’m not reliving that day at the moment, no, but it’s because you’d have done that with a smile, your mouth is a given—”

“Charlie!” you interrupted, eyes going wide as your cheeks grew warm.

He could see the internal debate in your eyes as you got off of him, eyes averted as you reached for the zipper at the top of the dress. A few seconds of struggling finally earned a laugh from you, it bubbled up out of your throat almost involuntarily as the smile on Charlie’s face grew.

“C’mere, let me get it.” You turned your back to him, holding your hair out of the way as he reached up and gently unzipped the dress. As more of your skin was exposed, he went slower, realizing the gravity of what the two of you were about to do, what you’d already done.

“Thank you,” he whispered, slipping the dress down your arms, lips going to your bare shoulder seconds later. “You do so much for me, and maybe sometimes I don’t realize…”

“You say that like you’ve never done anything for me.”

“Name one thing I’ve done that didn’t also help me.”

You stood and let the dress fall to your feet, lifting your eyes to watch his face as you turned around, trying to gauge his reaction, nerves at an all-time high.

He licked his lips. You reminded yourself of what you were supposed to be discussing.

“You went over to my apartment and installed the new security system for me after the break-ins a few months ago.”

“Keeps you safe so I get to see more of you. Next.”

“You went with me to the terrible work Christmas party.”

“And I got to make sure no one with ill-intentions got within a foot of you.”

“But isn’t it the same with what I do for you?”

“No.”

“How not?” you asked, eyes following him as he stood, kicking off his pants and underwear.

“You’ve healed me. In ways I don’t quite understand. I was a mess when I met you.”

“All you needed was for someone to listen to you. You needed to confess. And you did. And I wasn’t by myself anymore. It’s not like I’m magic, I just… gave you a chance to explain yourself. Maybe your old friends didn’t do that.”

His hands were on your cheeks and his nose brushed along yours. A much more gentle version of the earlier first kiss followed.

“I’m going to tell you something and you’ll probably call me crazy,” he whispered.

You moved back, watching him warily. “You sure you want to ruin this?” You leaned back in, getting close to his ear. “I’ll be honest, I’m in a highly suggestible state right now,” you admitted, reaching back to unfasten the bra. He felt it hit his feet, but he kept his eyes focused on yours. You put this to the test, pulling his hand up to cup one of your breasts.

He chuckled nervously, leaning in to steal a short, deep kiss as he squeezed—

“I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you. Or, as close to it as I’ve ever been.”

You didn’t know what to say.

“Just—you’re not a distraction. Far from it. I’m not lonely, I mean, I’m a hermit, but I go out. My point is, I really care about you. Maybe more than I realized waking up today.”

It was difficult to reign in your reaction. Incredibly difficult.

“So does this mean we can make today a better sort of anniversary?”

His hands found yours. “I think I’d be very happy with that.”

Your grin echoed his, his confession on permanent replay in your mind.

“Well go on then, show a girl a good time, yeah? Or have you lost your touch?”

“Fuck,” he mumbled under his breath, seconds before he pulled you down onto the bed beside him.

He kissed you deeply, using his bulk to keep you pressed into the mattress. He didn’t stop until his jaw was sore and he thought he might come just from rubbing up against you. He sat up, reaching for his nightstand and pulling open the drawer.

You were blissed out beneath him, watching him, studying his jawline, reaching up to touch the scruff there, smiling at him as he looked down at you curiously.

“You’re handsome,” you explained, as if that answered every question.

He felt a weight leave him as he tore open the foil packet with his teeth. Before he could deal with the rest of it, you reached up and pulled the condom free, eyes flicking down between the two of you for half a second before meeting his again. He sighed loudly as he felt your fingers smoothing it on.

He pulled down the sides of your underwear and you took care of the rest, kicking  your foot out until they fell off and landed somewhere on the floor with everything else.

He felt your ankles pushing at the back of his thighs, trying to get him in. As you laughed, he cut it off with his lips, his own smile breaking the kiss. He’d never felt this relieved in his whole life.

He pushed in easily enough, you already swollen and slick after his fingers back in the kitchen. He took a moment for himself, taking in a deep breath as he was fully seated within you, sitting up after a few seconds.

His hands were firm on your hips, his eyes raking over your bare chest and abdomen as he slowly began bringing your hips in to meet his. He watched you cover your face with your hands as small noises began to slip out.

“Lost my touch, love?” he teased.

All you could do was shake your head as he reached down for you, pulling out for long enough to turn you over onto your stomach.

He laid down on top of you once he filled you again, swollen lips pressing kisses into the skin between your shoulder blades after each thrust.

“More,” you urged, pushing back against him. Taking it as a challenge, he increased his pace dramatically, hitting deeper as you lifted your hips beneath him.

You buried your face in the comforter as you moaned openly.

He sat up on his knees, hands moving to grip your hips as he felt himself nearing that point of no return.

Feeling him start to slow, you reached back for one of his hands, pulling it up to your lips. It took him a few seconds to realize it was the metal.

“Love, I’m about finished—”

“Just, right there—”

You angled your hips just right and sank down into the bed, your moans and the internal spasms signaling that you were spent. He felt his own breathing hitch as he finally allowed himself his release. It took a second of rest before he could breathe again.

The last thing he wanted to do was move.

But you’d gone through the trouble of preparing a beautiful dinner for him, or trying to before he so rudely interrupted you.

He got up to dispose of the condom and ended up splashing some water on his face, taking a moment in the bathroom to examine the small mark at his neck, grinning at the slight redness he found there.

“Kiss me,” you pleaded, reaching for him as he returned to the bed.

He only leaned down for a quick kiss. “I’ve got to go cook the wonderful meal you bought for us,” he reminded you.

“Do I get you back when we’re done eating?”

“Of course, love,” he winked. He pulled a new pair of underwear out of one of his drawers and slipped them on before returning to the kitchen. “If you thought you were tired of me before, just wait.”

You laid there, watching him from the bed, not in any state to get up just yet.

The last thing you expected when you knocked on his door was all this. You honestly thought maybe he wouldn’t even answer. Maybe he didn’t want to see you on a day like today, which you’d totally understand. While you sat at the small cafe, looking through the glass for any sign of him, you wondered if today wasn’t the best day to try to make progress with him.

But here you were, naked, exhausted, in his bed. And there was a promise of more.

You’d keep trying to prove to Charlie that things didn’t have to be like what he was used to. He could have a normal life. He didn’t need to look over his shoulder. No one was looking for him anymore. He could make something new, invest his time and energy into new ventures. Get a hobby. Even if that hobby involved fucking you.

You felt a blossoming sense of hope as you finally got out of bed and tip-toed over to his bathroom to clean up a little. You heard him calling for you as you were pulling on some of his old clothes and you walked out into the living room, spying a recipe for disaster as he looked over in panic

“I need your help,” he admitted.

“When don’t you?” you joked.

After everything was situated, the kitchen a little less messy, he threw his arms around your shoulders, his lips pressing into your hair.

“Thank you.” There was a pause. You waited, wondering what he’d have to say next. He moved down, his voice a deep whisper. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

[echelonlab-blog]

Bound By Ink -- Chapter 33

Disclaimer: Fiction.

Warnings: None

Tagging: @hazeleyedleto @msroxyblog @letojokerownsme @miss-shannanigans @snewsome756   @maliciousalishious   @nikkitasevoli@meghan12151977@sanellv@ambolton@bradlea23@spillinginkwithlove@alexis7215@dezmarz@pezziecoyote@whoistheprettiest@avaj99@iridescxntsolitude@pheenixpeterson@guccilowell@blondiefrommars@rowen1976@phoebehalliwell1984@thathipstaninja@darthjokerisyourfather@letsbemybatman @prettymisc@lylabell2013@mandyglam@pandaliciouz@just-me-obsessing@echelon-1969@carolinapb-me@marilyndioncre

   “Can I pick where we're eating, Mom?” Jayce asked from the back seat as soon as I pulled out of the parking lot.

   “As long as you remember my budget isn't the same as Shannon's. No lobster tonight, kiddo.”

   “Hey, if the kid wants lobster...” Shannon joked.

   “Don't you start spoiling him,” I laughed.

   “I like spoiling him,” Shannon said sheepishly. “Almost as much as I like spoiling you. Not that you let me do that very often.”

   I thought back on the nice dinners and flowers he had brought for me, and the places he had taken Jayce and me. “Really? I feel pretty spoiled already.”

   Shannon mumbled something and then quickly looked out of the window. Before I could ask what that was about Jayce was piping in with his restaurant choice.

   “There's a place down on Fourth Street, it's called Buddy V's. It's not expensive, Mom, I promise.”

   “Never heard of it. Have you been reading restaurant reviews on Yelp or something?” I asked.

   “Please, Mom....”

    I looked at Shannon but he just shrugged and gave me a weak smile. “Fine. Buddy V's it is” I agreed as I turned my jeep in the proper direction.

   The restaurant in question was less than a ten-minute drive from the shop. As much as we got takeout from the area, I assumed it had to be new since I didn't remember encountering it before. From the name and the fact that Jayce recommended it I was expecting something loud and greasy with vaguely sexist sounding dish names. Instead, it seemed to be a nice little Mom and Pop place, well lit and decorated like a garden with lots of plants and light wood tables. We were quickly shown to seats and as I glanced over the menu the surprises just kept coming.

   “This is a vegetarian restaurant, Jayce. Did you know that?” I asked him

   Jayce nodded. “It's vegan, actually. I thought it would be okay. You liked the meal we had at Connie's house.”

   “It's fine, Jayce. I don't mind at all. I'm just a little surprised.”

   Jayce shrugged and cast a furtive glance around the restaurant. “I just thought it sounded good.”

   “It looks delicious,” Shannon affirmed as he pored over the menu.

   The teenage waitress eventually joined us, rattling off the daily specials with her eyes fixed on the surface of the table.  I already had an idea of what I wanted but before I could place my order Jayce began questioning the girl, inquiring about ingredients and preparation that, from the way she had spoken softly as she avoided eye contact, I doubted she would be able to answer. I figured she was just another teenager going through the motions of her after-school job, but I was surprised again when she began to perk up and passionately explain about the food and the restaurant itself, which was run by her parents and partially used food that they grew themselves. I wasn't sure if I was more confused by the girl's sudden change in demeanor or the astute questions from Jayce -- who out of nowhere seem to have become a budding foodie, when the girl finished her description and bit her lower lip, looking down at the table again.

   “Hi, Jayce,” she said shyly.

   “Hi, Sara,” he replied and as I looked at him the tops of his ears turned red. Suddenly this all made sense. My heart fluttered in my chest, and not in a 'touched by budding romance' kind of way. I was not ready for this. I mean sure, Jayce was 15 now and nearly through his freshman year of high school, I guess I must have known it was coming, but seeing it right in front of me was a lot different.

   Shannon nudged my foot with his and when I looked at him he had a big grin on his face. “I'll take the black bean and avocado burger,” he said as he handed Sara back his menu. I sat there in dumbfounded silence, looking between Jayce and the -- now that I was noticing -- very pretty, dark-haired Sara. Shannon nudged my foot again and I spluttered out something about the special. Once Jayce had ordered Sara gathered the remaining menus and retreated to the kitchen, casting a giggling backward glance at the table before she disappeared through the doorway.

   “Nice,” was all Shannon had to say as the girl disappeared and Jayce blushed an even brighter shade of red. I smacked him on the bicep. “Ow, what the hell was that for?”

   “Nice? Really? How old is that girl, do you think?”

   “I didn't mean it like that. Jesus,” Shannon complained as he rubbed his arm. “So how long has this been going on, Jayce?” he continued as he turned his attention away from me.

   “It's not. Not yet.” Jayce looked at me hopefully. “But Mom, she's really nice and really smart. She's in my trig class, and she runs track, and she doesn't get into any trouble at all. Her parents just opened this place up last month, and they all work here so you can meet them if you want....” Jayce was talking about a mile a minute.

   “You set me  up!” I was still trying to process this Jayce-likes-a-girl development, and I wasn't sure how I felt about any of it, let alone if I wanted to meet her parents. “What was your plan if I hadn't happened to let you pick out the restaurant today?”

   Jayce sighed. “I don't know. I guess I was just going to keep waiting. But since we're here....”

   “Since nothing, Jayce. You know how much I hate to be blindsided.”

   Shannon put his hand on my arm. “Come on, Blue. She sounds like a nice girl and he did bring  you here to meet her and her parents before he asked her out.”

   “I already have Stephanie telling me how to raise my son, I don't need you to do it too,” I hissed back at him. I regretted it as soon as the words were out of my mouth. It wasn't remotely the same thing but I couldn't bring myself to apologize either.

   “I just want to take her to the movies,” Jayce grumbled. “It can be a matinee, it doesn't have to be during the night or anything.”

   “We're not going to talk about this right now Jayce,” I said, keeping my voice low. “You are already so busy with school and art, do you really think you have time for a girlfriend right now too?”

   “Sounds like we're still talking about it,” Jayce growled as he balled up his straw wrapper and pinged it across the table.

   We all sat together in awkward silence waiting for the food to arrive. Of course, Sara was the one to bring it back out and she blushed as she sat Jayce's pasta in front of him. He thanked her politely and took a big bite before telling Sara to let her father know how much he enjoyed it. She was beaming as she retreated to the kitchen again. How on earth could Stephanie say that his manners were lacking? He was the best behaved 15-year-old boy I knew.

   When Jayce looked over and caught me watching him his face quickly fell and he frowned into his bowl. “Jayce....” I said.

   “No, Mom, you said we're not talking about it. I get it.”

   I looked at Shannon who was also avoiding my gaze as he paid furious attention to his plate. “Guys...” I pleaded. Neither one of them looked up. “I'm sorry. I know I overreacted.” Part of it was due to Stephanie, I was sure. I couldn't believe the nerve of her, complaining about Jayce's manners when she was possibly the most disrespectful person I had ever met in my life. The other part of it, however, was due to my overprotectiveness of Jayce. I tried very hard not to treat him like I had been treated, to be his supporter and to give him the benefit of the doubt whenever I could. But it was hard. He was my only child, and he was growing up so fast, and I had to worry about his health on top of everything else. Dating was a big step forward, and he had caught me completely by surprise. “I'm so sorry, Jayce. You caught me off guard. Can we try to have this discussion again?”

   Jayce grumbled something into his pasta but avoided looking at me. I sighed and started eating my own dinner, hoping that if I gave him a little space he would come back around. Shannon reached for my hand under the table and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Maybe the two of them did have a point. Sara sounded like a nice girl, and she had seemed very sweet at the table. It seemed like she was well supervised, and I probably wouldn't need to worry about them running wild. Maybe one movie matinee wouldn't hurt, just to see how things went.

   Sara's father came out of the kitchen as we were finishing our meal and introduced himself. He was a tall, genial-looking man – who incidentally was not called Buddy but Chuck – with a light brown ponytail and a neat beard, and seemed very pleased when Shannon and I lavished on some well deserved praise for our dinner. Jayce dropped the sullen attitude the minute he had seen him come out of the kitchen and rose to shake his hand in greeting before introducing Shannon and myself. Sara stood behind her father, biting her lip again and looking at Jayce through her long lashes. She only seemed to have eyes for him. If I turned off my panicked mom-brain for a minute I had to admit it was pretty adorable.

   If I thought the argument was over just because we had all been cordial at the end of the meal, however, that notion was dispelled the minute we got into the car. Jayce slammed the car door loudly and shoved his headphones in his ears, only to jerk them back out again to give me a piece of his mind.

   “You know, Mom, I'm not a little kid anymore. I thought maybe after Dad had that talk with you you were starting to get that but I guess not.”

   “Jayce, I said I'm sorry. This just came from out of nowhere. You know I'm not good at surprises.”

   “If I had told you beforehand you would have said no before even meeting them.”

   “That's not fair. You don't know that.”

   “Yes, I do. You never let me do anything the other kids my age are doing. None of my other friends have to spend as much time with their parents as I do. I can't do anything!”

   “Jayce Alexander McKinney, if you think for one minute I'm going to let you run wild all over the neighborhood just because some other kids do....”

   “You don't get it! I knew I couldn't come to you about this! I guess I'll just talk to Dad!” Jayce shouted before shoving his earphones back in and turning the music up on his phone so loud I could hear it in the front seat. Resignedly I turned the car for home.

   “Can I say something or are you going to lump me in with Stephanie again the minute I open my mouth?” Shannon asked.

   I sighed and gripped the steering wheel. “No, go ahead.”

   Shannon gave Jayce a quick glance and seeing that his headphones were still in he continued. “You are very protective of him. And that's not necessarily a bad thing,” he hastily added when he saw what must have been a thunderous look on my face. “He's a good kid so you're obviously doing something right. But he's right, Blue. He's not little anymore. He is trying to grow up and he's trying to be respectful in the way he is going about it. You need to cut him some slack or he's just going to end up resenting you and pulling away.”

   It wasn't like I didn't understand Shannon's point, and I hated that I had let Stephanie get in my head like that, but I couldn't seem to put the brakes on this now. “Look, I appreciate that you're trying to help me out here but I can do without the backseat parenting right now. I'm under enough stress. Forgive me if I don't want to let Jayce run wild the way you did. I mean, look how that almost turned out.”

   I regretted the words the minute I spoke them, but again, I seemed to be inexplicably out of control and I didn't take them back fast enough. “Blue, why don't you drop me back at the shop so I can get my car and head home. I'm thinking we've had about enough fun for one night.”

   “Really?” I said sarcastically. “I have one bad evening and you run for the hills? Any excuse to get out the door I guess. Maybe they are right about you.”

   “What the hell? Where is this coming from?”

   I blundered on. “You know, if we're throwing around demands here how about you talk to your brother?”

   Shannon gave me a confused look. “What does Jared have to do with any of this?”

   “Please. Like you don't see how he's leading Nadia on. It's obvious she is so hung up on him it's not funny and he just lets her keep thinking there's some kind of future in it all. It's cruel.”

   “What does that have to do with us? I can't control Jared. I told him when asked Nadia out again after the party it was a bad idea. They're both grownups. They'll have to work it out for themselves.”

   “I guess they'll just have to,” I said sarcastically.

   We pulled into the parking lot at RI and Shannon tapped Jayce on the knee, giving him a wave before getting out of the car. “I'll talk to tomorrow, Scarlett.”

   I watched him get in his car and drive away. Why had I pushed him like that? He hadn't done anything wrong, and really, neither had Jayce. A quick glance in the rearview mirror told me that Jayce was still pointedly ignoring me. I would have to fix that once we got home. I picked up my phone, dialing Shannon's number and hoping and praying that he would pick up.

   “What's wrong?” he said when he came on the line. “Is there someone else I have no control over who's doing something to upset you?”

   “Fine. I deserve that. I'm so sorry, Shannon. No, really,” I added when I could hear him starting to stutter out a protest. “This thing with Stephanie has really been simmering away at the back of my head, and I've just been in denial but the way she treated Jayce today really just made it all boil over.”

   I checked Jayce again and then stepped out of the car, to be sure he didn't overhear the next part of the conversation. “The way she was today, the way she put him in danger, the way she doesn't care about his welfare at all... I can't let her be alone with Jayce. And because Mark doesn't seem able or willing to see how she is, it means I can't trust him with Jayce when Stephanie is around. I know there's going to be a big fight about it too, and I just don't know what to do, Shannon. Mark and I worked so hard to come up with a parenting plan for Jayce after out divorce, and this bitch has only been around a few weeks and she's thrown it all into chaos. She's going to ruin Jayce's relationship with his father and Mark's not going to see it until it's too late. I can't let her take that from him. I'm just scared. And I took it out on you because you were convenient and it was wrong of me. Can you please forgive me?”

   'It's okay, Blue. I knew you didn't mean it. You've got some fences to mend with Jayce though.” Shannon pointed out.

   “I know. I'm pretty sure I know how to do that but I think it's going to mean giving up my Sunday off to chauffeur a couple of teenage lovebirds around. Which means our Sunday plans are spoiled.”

   “I don't mind. I can even come along if you want. And hey, just think,” Shannon said, and I could hear the merriment creeping back into his voice. “We survived our first fight. You know what that means?”

   “No?” I chuckled.

   “It's time for makeup sex now.”

[rootbeergoddess]

Grant Against Protein Shakes

Grant’s wife has gained a bit of weight which makes him happy. However, his darling wife wants to do something horrible: lose weight! So what does he do? Get rid of her protein shakes. Thanks to fellow Rooker Hookers Lindsay and Ivy for helping me out! Like this story? Buy me a ko-fi. If you want a reader insert for yourself, you can also commission me! Send me a note or a message if you’re interested.

“Honey, have you seen my protein shakes?”

“No lovebug, haven’t seen them.”

That was a lie. A really big lie. Grant knew his mother would be rolling over in his grave if she knew he was lying but it was for a good cause. Well, he thought it was a good cause. The cause was making sure his wife didn’t lose her nice, thick figure.  Over the past years, Grant’s spouse had gotten bigger. Her breasts had become larger, her ass had become rounder and her legs thicker. She looked goddamn gorgeous but for some reason she didn’t see it. Ever seen she had ripped her favorite shirt, she was hellbent on losing weight. She wouldn’t go out to eat and replaced most of her meals with those disgusting protein shakes. If she kept this up, she’d lose all those lovely curves.

“Grant,” She looked at him. “Where are my shakes?”

“Don’t know sugarplum.”

“Did you take them again,” She asked, as she closed the fridge. “Are you hiding them?”

“Nope.”

“Grant,” She went over to him, trying to get him to look at her. “Where are my protein shakes?”

“I have no idea honeysuckle,” Grant took a sip of his coffee. “How about I take you to lunch?”

“Grant.”

“I’ll take you to Lucy’s.”

He saw his wife’s eyes lit up. Lucy’s was her favorite restaurant. They had this pasta dish she loved along with homemade pie. It was also the place where they had their first date.  He watched her mull the idea over in her head. He could tell he would have to sweeten the deal just a bit.

“And after that, I’ll take you to the mall so you can get that new dress to replace your old one,” He added, pulling her close. “You know, the red one?”

“I don’t know.”

“How about three dresses?” He pulled his wife into his arms. “How does that sound?”

“Well---okay. But only this once. I’ll go get changed.”

Grant smiled as his wife headed upstairs and then followed her. Inside their bedroom, he watched her take off her tank top and workout shorts. Once in her underwear, Grant took her all in. She was perfectly pudgy. Grant adored his wife. There wasn’t anyone like her. And he loved her new found curves. Entering the room, Grant came up behind her, placing his hands on her hips. He purred slightly as he kissed her neck.

“Grant, what are you doing?” She asked.

“Nothing.”

“Well stop doing nothing,” She pushed him away. “I’m trying to get ready.”

She tried to move away but Grant pulled her back. She was pressed against him, her nice, new tits squished against him. He grinned and grabbed her ass, making her jump.

“God, there is so much to squeeze,” Grant’s voice went low. “So much to touch.”

“What are you talking about?” She asked.

“Darling, you look fantastic,” He said, licking his lips. “God, your clothing has gotten nice and tight. It shows off your ass, your tits, your stomach. I love it.”

“You---do?” She sounded shocked.

“Yeah,” Grant started kissing her neck. “I just love how thick you’ve become.”

“So that is why my shakes have gone missing,” She backed away. “You did take them! You’ve been trying to keep me fat haven't you?”

Well, the cat was out of the bag now.

“Yeah,” Grant kissed her hand. “Darling, don’t be sore at me. I love the way you look! And you’re so warm and soft! Please stay this way? Please?”

Grant watched his wife stare at him. She didn’t look mad which was a relief. The look she wore seemed more interested than upset.

“Hm,” She said. “I’ll have to think about it. I’ll consider it over lunch.”

Grant whimpered as she walked away. His cock was straining against his slacks. He regretted promising her lunch now. He wanted to fuck right there, right now. But he did promise her he’d take her to Lucy’s. He was a man of his word. Sighing, he sat down on the bed and waited. When she came out, Grant thought he would die. She was wearing an old dress of hers, one he liked. It was a strapless dress with a sweetheart neckline and a pencil skirt. It hugged her curves, making her look amazing. She knew this. Grant could tell by the way she smiled, his wife knew she looked good.

“You’re not playing fair.” He mumbled.

“You cheated first,” She replied. “Now come on. I think someone promised me lunch.”

Grant had always been a hands-on type of man.

He loved to touch you. You would wake up with his arms around your waist. When he came home from work, he’d pick you up in his strong arms and twirl you around. Even if you were just sitting at home doing nothing, in particular, he’d hold your hand and kiss it. Grant was a man who liked to touch his woman.

Even in public.

He wasn’t lying about liking your new body. Grant kept touching you every chance he got. In the car, he reached over and squeezed your thighs. Once out of the car, you felt him grab your ass. This normally would have annoyed you but it felt nice. Gaining weight was part of life. You weren’t really bothered by it until you realized your old clothing wouldn’t fit anymore. With your clothes no longer able to fit you, you were scared of how people saw you.

Seeing Grant marvel at your body, however, put those fears to rest.

“Sugarplum, c’mon,” Grant pleaded. “Just a small taste.”

“Absolutely not! You’re being punished for lying to me,” You said with a smirk. “If you’re good, then you can worship my glorious body.”

You pushed your bottom back against his pants and you felt his erection. He whimpered when you moved.  Turning to look at him, you motioned him to follow. Grant, like an obedient dog, obeyed.

For lunch, you ordered your favorite dish; lobster pasta with a three cheese sauce. For dessert, you treated yourself to some fresh huckleberry pie. Grant barely ate anything seeing as how he was so focused on you. Plus, during lunch, you used your foot to rub against his cock. It took all his willpower not to moan.

After lunch, Grant tried to jump you in the car but you reminded him about his promise of dresses.

“What if I buy you a whole new wardrobe if you let me have you now?” He asked.

“Really? New dresses, new shoes, new shirts?” You asked, tugging at his tie.

“Yes! Everything! I’ll buy you whatever you want if you just let me fuck you!”

“That’s a good boy,” You purred, tickling his chin. “I guess I’ll forgive you for now. Take me home and you can have your reward.”

You were thankful that you didn’t live too far away because you were pretty sure Grant would have caused an accident. He sped home, almost going through a red light. God, he was so pathetic when he got horny. It was like all he could think about was fucking. When you reached home, Grant pulled you inside the house and slammed the door before kissing you. His hands started grabbing at your dress, trying to get it off.

“Calm down,” You pushed his hands away. “C’mon, upstairs.”

Grant followed you up to the bedroom. Once there, you moved your hair out of the way so he could unzip your dress.

“Finally,” Grant groaned. “Oh darling, you’re so cruel.”

“Says the man who's been throwing away my protein shakes.”

“You don’t need them,” Grant wrapped his arms around you. “Oh baby, you don’t need them at all! You’re perfect.”

“So you like your girls nice and big?” You asked.

“No, I like you nice and big,” He replied.

“Good answer,” You said, unbuttoning his shirt. “You better keep good on that promise.”

“I will sugarplum,” He eyed your body. “God, I can’t get over how gorgeous you look.”

Smiling, you removed his shirt and pushed him onto the bed. Glancing down, you saw the massive bulge in his pants. Typical. With a small grin, you sat on him so your ass would rub against his cock. Grant hissed before moaning. Wow, this really was too easy. You considered teasing him more but he probably couldn’t take it. You got off him.

“Get rid of the pants.” You commanded.

Grant wasted no time. He quickly stood up, removed his belt and then pulled down his pants. Then, you placed yourself on the bed. Keeping eye contact with him, you motioned at him to go to the edge of the bed. He placed himself at your feet and you felt his cool hands massaging you. You could get used to the constant body worshiping. He placed a small kiss on top of your foot before moving upwards. His fingers dragged along your leg as he peppered kisses up your body.

When he reached your stomach, Grant sighed happily and leaned against it. What was so sexy about a chubby belly you didn’t really understand but Grant? He was loving it. He rubbed your belly, kissing it softly like it was delicate. He ran his tongue along your skin as he continued to kiss it. It felt nice. Maybe you would keep the belly too. What would be the harm in it?

When Grant reached your breast, you heard a whine. Oh, you were still wearing your bra.

“Hm, maybe I’ll keep it on.” You said.

Grant whined again, looking at you with his large, round puppy dog eyes. Ugh, too cute. You hated those baby blues of his sometimes. You undid the clasp and removed the bra, only to have Grant grab it with his teeth. Growling like a dog, he shook it around.

“Who's a good boy?” You asked. “Is it you?”

Grant growled before throwing the bra aside. He stared down at your breasts, licking his lips like a hungry animal. You watched him as he placed his head squarely between them.

“Having fun down there?”

“Yep.”

Grant smiled at you before motorboating your tits. You laughed as he started massaging your breasts. When he rubbed one of your nipples, you moaned. He started to rub your other nipple, making you moan more. Grant continued to rub until both nipples were nice and hard. Then, he grabbed one of your breasts and brought the nipple to his mouth. He began to suck and you groaned.

“Oh Grant,” You said. “That feels amazing.”

Grant made a happy noise as he continued to suck. He paid special attention to your nipple, making it hard. He ran his tongue around it before sucking it back into his mouth. His fingers continued to play with your other nipple, making sure it was also erect. Once it was, Grant started sucking on the other one. Again, you moaned loudly as his talented tongue lavished love on your nipple. He stopped sucking only for a second and then suddenly pushed your breasts together. Then, he started sucking on both your nipples.

“Oh! Oh Grant!” You sighed.

Grant continued to suck, using his tongue on your nipples. Grant released the nipples with a resounding pop, only to run his tongue over them.

“God, they’re so damn big,” He said. “They’re perfect baby.”

“So you like big things? You know, there’s another thing that is big on me. It’s perfect for spanking.”

Grant grinned and got up. Smiling at him, you turned around. You wiggled your ass, making Grant’s grin grow. When he slapped your rear, you squealed.

“Oh yeah,” Grant pulled your panties down. “Perfect for spanking.”

Grant quickly removed his briefs and grabbed his cock. He reached down, opening you up with your fingers. Already, you were dripping. He licked his lips before sliding into you.

“Oh Grant!” You moaned.

“Oh fuck,” Grant grabbed at your hips. “Oh fuck, baby you feel good.”

Grant start thrusting with a steady pace. His hands gripped at your nice, soft hips and he dug his fingers deep into your flesh as he rammed you. One hand wandered upwards and he grabbed your breasts. He nipped at your neck, sucking at your flesh. At that moment, you decided you were done with dieting. There was no way you were losing this body. It was perfect for Grant so it was perfect for you.

And it was perfect for fucking.

When your first orgasm rocked your body, you thought was that was the end of it. To your surprise, Grant turned you over on your back and ate you out with gusto. After orgasm three, you had to push him away only for him to fuck you again. After five, you started losing count of how many times you came that night.

“Are you a fucking robot or something?” You asked when Grant finally pulled out.

“Beep boop, I’m the Fuck-a-Tron 5000! My mission to fuck my sexy wife!” Grant said in a fake robot voice.

You burst out laughing as Grant smiled down at you.

“You’re a dork.”

“You know you love me.”

“Yes but you’re still a dork.”

“A dork you married.”

“That does not change the fact that you are the dorkiest dork to ever live.”

“This dork still got you to be his wife,” Grant purred, kissing you. “And this dork is never going to let you lose this sexy body.”

“Guess that means no more protein shakes.”

“The only shakes you can have are the double chocolate ones down at the diner.”

“With extra whipped cream?”

“Whatever keeps you loveable and chubby.”

@rookerstash , @yondu-gonna-do-about-it , @allhailkingrooker51 , @lucifers-trash-stash , @babelincolns, @missmendelsohn, @socktrollqueen, @the-galaxy-savers  

[bigbangenthusiast]

Happy Fluff Crawlspace Day! Seven (!) years ago today, Shamy met for the first time. My babies have come a long way since then!

I wrote a brand new fic to mark the occasion. Thank you @nerdforestgirl for hosting this amazing event again ❤.

Coincidentally, today also marks the one-year anniversary of the first fanfic I ever wrote. Anyway, enough talk. I hope you enjoy!

The Sweetness Factor

Amy applied a dab of sunscreen on her nose and donned a wide-brim floppy hat.

“I can’t even see your cute face under that thing,” Sheldon muttered.

“Well, it wouldn’t be cute anymore if my skin turned the shade of a lobster.” She handed him the tube. “You should apply some too. I’d hate to see your handsome face sun damaged.”

“If it were up to me, we wouldn’t even be here,” he grumbled but accepted the proffered skin-saving product.

“It will be worth it.” She watched as he carefully massaged it into his skin. “You missed a spot.”

Sheldon stood still as his girlfriend reached up and blended the white liquid along his cheekbone and leaned into her touch until she extracted her hand to grab his mosquito net hat from the backseat and two empty ice cream buckets. They walked hand in hand to the wooden fruit stand and were greeted by a young man in overalls and a red plaid shirt.

“Well, good afternoon, folks. I see you brought your own buckets. Just follow me.”

They followed the farmer down a grassy path towards a sea of bright red strawberries. Amy breathed in the fresh country air, a pleasant change to the smog-filled atmosphere in the city. She sent her boyfriend an apologetic look when he tightened his grip as they passed a chicken coop.

“I’m Seth, by the way.”

“I’m Amy and this is Sheldon.”

“Well Amy and Sheldon, you chose a beautiful day to come out here. Where are you from?”

“Pasadena,” Amy replied.

“Nice city. Has kind of a small town feel.”

Sheldon tuned out as Amy and Seth engaged in mundane chit chat. He wondered how on earth his girlfriend had such a hold over him that he went along with her plans with little resistance. He peeked down at her from under the brim of his hat. Though he couldn’t see her face, he knew by the tone of her voice that she was already enjoying their outing. Then, as if sensing his eyes on hers, she tipped her face up towards his gaze and smiled brilliantly. The corners of his mouth turned up in response. She squeezed his hand then turned her attention back to the other man. Sheldon’s thoughts were interrupted when they suddenly stopped at the foot of the hill, and Seth began explaining their choices.

“We grow two varieties of strawberries. Over to the right, we have our June-bearing plants. We chose to grow the Chandler variety as it’s well-suited to our climate here in southern California. To our left we have Albion, an everbearing variety. Both are excellent for eating fresh, though I prefer the sweeter flavor of the Chandler. However, if you plan on making any jam or pies, I would suggest the Albion. Or you can try both if each of you wishes to pick a different variety.”

Amy turned to her boyfriend. “Sheldon, do you have a preference?”

“Let’s go with the Albion. My mouth is watering thinking about the pie you’re going to make me.”

Amy rolled her eyes as Seth led them to the left side of the field. “You mean the pie WE are going to make.”

“Have either of you ever picked strawberries before?”

They both shook their heads no.

“You can start in this row, one of you on each side. Look for berries that are completey red and tug them gently off the plant like this.” He bent down to plant level to demonstrate and dropped the berry into Amy’s bucket. “Many times they are hidden, so make sure you lift the leaves to find them all. Do you have any questions?”

“I have a PhD in physics. I think I can handle harvesting strawberries,” Sheldon replied haughtily.

“Don’t mind him. I think we’ll do just fine. Thank you so much.”

“You are most welcome! Oh, one thing I forgot to mention is the flags.” He plucked a tiny white plastic flag on a metal stick from the ground at the beginning of the row. “When you’re done picking, whether it’s at the end of the row or somewhere in between, just place the flag in that spot so we know where the next person should begin.”

Seth handed Sheldon the flag. “When you’re done, just meet me back at the stand to weigh your harvest. And feel free to give the berries a taste,” he called over his shoulder, as he walked back up the path to greet his next customers.

Sheldon twirled the flag between his fingers. “Some flag,” he snorted. “You would think a berry farm would have a berry design on their flags.”

“Not everyone is as excited about flags as we are. Seth probably sees it as just a tool,” she pointed out. “Let’s get picking.”

Amy crouched down, which was no easy feat in a skirt. She looked up to find Sheldon towering above her with his arms crossed over his chest.

“I don’t know how I let you talk me into this,” he grumbled.

She batted her eyelashes. “Because you love me.”

“Vixen,” he muttered.

“Come on, Sheldon. This will go much quicker if you help,” she pointed out, as she slowly began filling her bucket.

“I don’t want to get dirty.”

“There’s nothing wrong with a little dirt. It will wash right off.”

“Nothing wrong with… Do you hear yourself, Woman?”

“Please? For me?” She pleaded.

The look on her face melted his resistance. “Fine, but if my clothes are permanently stained, it’s all on you.” He knelt down on the other side of the row and shuddered as his pants touched the bare soil. “I can’t do this!” He whined as he unfolded his long legs and stood, dusting off his pants.

“No berries means no pie.”

“Even the enticement of pie won’t change my mind.”

She stood and turned her back on him as she started up the path, leaving the bucket of berries behind.

“Where are you going?” He called after her.

“To the car.”

“You’re leaving me here?” He asked, incredulously.

“I’m just going to get something. I’ll be back soon.”

He watched helplessly as her form retreated over the peak of the small hill. He glanced around at the other people - couples, families, and singles - crouched down without a care in the world. “Come on, Cooper. You can do this,” he chided himself.

He bent his knees and slowly lowered his body then straightened his legs just before they made contact with the ground. He made several more failed attempts before Amy finally came into view. As she drew nearer, he noted a small, clear rectangular package clutched in her hand and a colored bag slung over her shoulder.

She presented him with the package. “I remembered I had this in the trunk.”

He turned it over in his hands, his brow furrowed. “A rain poncho? There’s not a cloud in the sky.”

“It’s to put on over your clothes so you don’t get dirty. I also brought you this reusable grocery bag to kneel on in case the poncho is too short to cover your legs.”

“You’re so thoughtful!”

“Well, I know how hard this is for you. I just wanted to make you more comfortable.”

“You’re the best.” He tore open the package and slipped on the clear plastic garment as Amy smoothed the grocery bag on the ground.

Without the worry of soiling his clothes, Sheldon knelt down and began examining the berries. Minutes later he glanced over at his girlfriend crouched across from him. While her bucket was quickly filling up, he had only a handful.

“How are you finding so many?”

She shrugged. “Maybe your side was picked over and mine wasn’t.”

He watched her carefully as she tugged her next berry off its stem. “Amy, that one isn’t completely red. It’s more of a magenta.”

“Sheldon, you’re being too picky. That’s probably why you think there aren’t as many on your side.”

“But Seth said to look for berries that are completely red.”

“He meant ones that don’t have anymore white on them. I’ll prove to you that this one is ripe.” She leaned over and held the berry next to his lips.

He pulled his head back slightly. “What are you doing?”

“I want you to taste this and tell me what you think.”

“We haven’t paid for it yet.”

“It’s okay, Sheldon. We’re allowed to have a taste.”

He tentatively opened his mouth a fraction of an inch. Amy gently pressed the berry against his lips until the tip of his tongue darted out. He closed his eyes and savored the slight sweetness upon his tastebuds. When he opened his eyes, he was staring back at his girlfriend’s questioning gaze.

“How was it?”

“I didn’t get much of a taste,” he admitted.

“Open wider,” she instructed.

He did as he was told. She popped the berry into his mouth then sat back on her heels as he chewed thoughtfully.

“So?” She asked.

“It was better than I expected.”

“Good. Now you can pick all those berries without any fear,” she declared before plunging her hands into the leaves once more.

“Hold on.”

“What now, Sheldon?”

He picked a strawberry, leaned across the plants, and used his free hand to tilt up the brim of his girlfriend’s hat. “Not until you have a taste. I would hate to go to all the trouble of picking, then it turns out you don’t even like them. Now open up.”

Amy obliged. She closed her eyes to better focus on the taste.

“So?” Sheldon asked.

She swallowed then opened her eyes. “It’s sweet.”

“It is,” he agreed, “but not as sweet as you. No comparison.”

“Aww! Sheldon!”

“It’s true.”

“I’ll bet the Chandler berries are sweeter.”

“Nothing is as sweet as you.”

Amy set her hat next to her bucket then stretched her body over the greenery separating their bodies. She angled her head and pressed a soft kiss onto her boyfriend’s lips.

When she leaned back, he licked his lips.“Sweet in both senses of the word.“

Amy leaned in again, this time kissing him more passionately. “Mmm… You’re extra sweet too,” she confessed.

“As much as I’m looking forward to that pie, I wouldn’t object to keeping some of these on hand for just eating. Perhaps we should have brought more buckets.”

Amy smiled slyly. “We can come back next weekend if we need to,” she promised.

[likeshipsonthesea]

so i don't know if you're still doing the Dex poetry series, but i would be interested in seeing if Dex ever shows Nursey the poems and how that goes down, if that's okay! thank you :))

I am still doing thepoetry series (I promise!), but I haven’t had any inspiration recently. I will continue itif and when the inspiration strikes. Really, I will.

If anyone doesn’t know,this is my poetry series tag and it’s a series of poems written from Dex’s POV.

Thank you for theprompt! The poems are actually not from the POV of my usual HCed Dex, so it wascool to write from another version of Dex’s POV. :)

(Also, I was in a weird mood, so this got super introspective and complicated but I feel like it fits for Dex’s relationship with writing so I’mma just go with it.)

*~*~*

           It’s not that Dex isn’t good at hiding things. He is. He grew up in a house with very nosyparents and five siblings who assumed anything of Dex’s was theirs as well. Helearned how to keep things private, found nooks and secret spots as easily ashe found studs in a wall and learned how to be just conspicuous enough to beoverlooked. Of course, the newfound literary part of him can’t help but seethis as a metaphor, the kid trapped in the closet is good at hiding things, andhe realizes it with the same kind of bitterness he attributes to all of hisnewfound literary perspectives.

           It’s mostly Nursey’s fault anyway, that Dex is soliterary now. Dex could just as easily blame Samwell as a whole, what withrequiring he take a literary course, but it’s harder to blame an institutionthan a person and Dex, somewhat out of character, took the easy way out in thistime. Yes, the first English course was required, but the second was not. Thesecond was a poetry course usually taken by freshmen who hadn’t technically chosentheir major yet but were dead set on English. Dex had been the only scienceoriented person there and, at first, he had felt out of place. That, too, Dexrealized later, was a metaphor.

           After one of his new literary freshmen friends draggedhim to Annie’s on Slam Poetry Night, Dex started to understand poetry a bitmore. It was different than words on a page; when someone spoke it, even if thepoem was crap, their emotions were so blatant that it was hard not to feelsomething. Words have always been finicky, as far as Dex knew, but emotionswere something he could read with ease. As ridiculous as it sounds, Dex hasalways been good at reading people. Interacting with them was another thingentirely.

           But, back to the point. Hiding things. (Dex has alsofound, with his newly poetic mind, that he goes off on tangents far more nowthan he did before. It can be quite distracting, but it also leads tointeresting thoughts and inspirations, so he hasn’t decided yet if he likes itor not. That, too, of course, is a metaphor.)  Dex wouldn’t have to hide things at all if hehadn’t taken that poetry class, hadn’t gone to Annie’s on Slam Poetry Night,and hadn’t had so many feelings that nothing made sense but trying to explainthem to other people in the only way he could figure out how; words.

           Yes, the irony, a boy who finds words insufficientattempting to communicate solely through them. Whatever. It’s not lost on himbut it’s mostly irrelevant and, even with his new appreciation for literature,he still has no time for irrelevancies. Because of all these events and theirresults and the eventual, improbably probable ending, Dex has acquiredsomething worth hiding. Poetry. His own poetry, to be more specific. Writing,Dex has learned, is all about being more specific.

           He wrote out his feelings and couldn’t bring himself todelete them, so he hid them and then did the opposite of hide them but stillhiding them as he did. Yes, it’s all very confusing. Most of the literature is.He hid the poems from who they were for, but shared them with strangers whodidn’t actually matter, not when it came to this. More irony. Dex has learnedthat ironic things are not nearly as amusing as they used to be. Dex has alsolearned that learning too much can, in fact, be a bad thing.

           He hid the poems on his computer, of course, in a folderlabeled “Lobster Fishing Statistics, 2011.” Main rule of hiding things; beconspicuous enough to be looked over. This folder he put in a folder labeled“Lobster Fishing Statistics”, which was in a folder called “Maine Stuff”, whichresided in a folder labeled “Stuff” with fourteen other folders in there withit. Dex hadn’t locked it or anything so extreme; it wasn’t bad what he was doing, but it felt too private to share. Too close,too open. Everything poetry was supposed to be and everything Dex fears.

           Of course, this wasn’t nearly secret enough, it seems,because Dex walks into his dorm room after his baking date with Bitty to findNursey sitting on his bed, Dex’s laptop on his lap, scrolling through Dex’spoetry.

           “Dex, what the fuck.”Dex is caught in Nursey’s wide eyed, gaping mouth gaze, frozen halfway throughthe doorway, not quite sure yet if he’s going to run. That’s probably ametaphor, too. “You-you write poetry.”It isn’t a question, but Dex nods anyway, finally closing the door behind him(plus if you called that as a metaphor, too). He is not a coward, despite allthe evidence to the contrary, and he isn’t going to run away because hisboyfriend found the poetry Dex wrote about him, and other things. Dex has readmany of Nursey’s poems and some of his short stories. It isn’t unreasonable tothink that Nursey would want to read Dex’s writing.

           “Um, why are you-”

           Nursey cuts him off. “I was looking for your porn and Ifind poetry. What the fuck,Poindexter. You write poetry! Beautiful poetry! Fucking heartbreaking poetry!”

           “Porn? Nursey, what-”

           Nursey sits up, turning the laptop towards Dex. Chill is open on the screen. “You littleshit! You write me a snarky, ironic poem and you don’t even show it to me?” Heturns the screen back to himself. “I mean, shit, Dex. Catholic Guilt? I’ve never stepped foot in a church and I felt it.” He starts shaking his head,eyes stuck on the computer. “This is-this is amazing.”

           Dex takes a slow step forward. “Nursey…”

           Nursey’s eyes snap up, a mix of emotions that Dex can’tidentify swirling in his pretty, improbably green eyes. “Why didn’t you tellme?”

           Ice, stark and biting, curls in Dex’s chest. He doesn’tknow the answer to that question. He could say that it’s a relatively new thing,but it’s been four months since he stood up in front of strangers and crackedhis heart open for all to see and there were numerous times in between then andnow in which he could have mentioned, casually, that he had started writingpoetry. He could say that it was private, which it is, but not from Nursey;nothing is private from Nursey. He doesn’t know the answer and the not knowingis worse than anything else.

           Because that’s always why he disliked literature, isn’tit? The not knowing? He liked things objective, one answer to every question, aformula, some semblance of control. He has no control in this, and maybe that’sthe answer. Maybe he just wanted control over something, over who he told andwho knew. It’s not good enough, this answer, not for him and definitely not forNursey, but it may be the only answer he has.

           “I don’t know,” he says, because he promised himself tocommunicate with Nursey back in September, when they started this. “I-I don’tknow.”

           Nursey must not need words, Dex thinks, as he watchesNursey put aside the laptop and gesture him over. Nursey can convey emotions,thoughts, with things as simple as touches, Dex decides, as he folds himselfinto the embrace of Nursey’s ever-constant body. Nursey must be the oneexception, Dex thinks, and smiles, because he likes that metaphor, because itis both a metaphor and a truth, plain and simple, and he likes the contrast ofthat the same way he likes the contrast of his fingers curled into Nursey’s.

           “They’re beautiful poems, Dex,” Nursey says, mumblesreally, into Dex’s hair, which he had let grow longer because he likes the wayNursey’s eyes, fingers, and mouth catch on it at silly, random moments.

           “I-” Dex pauses, finding the words. He wants to say, “Iwrote them for you,” but he realizes that that’s not quite true. Yes, thesubject matter is consistently Nursey in some way or form, but Dex didn’t writethem for Nursey. He wrote them for himself. That, he thinks, is the mostridiculous thing at all. He couldn’t understand his own emotions so he wrotethem in a way that is mostly incomprehensible to him, just another way ofcomplicating his feelings enough that he could ignore them. An escape, hedecides, is an apt description for writing. “I love you,” Dex says instead, andthe smile pressed into his hair is enough, silent and without words, but morethan enough.

[fearofaherobrine]

Roleplay server Log #191

"The Survivor, Flying Lessons, A Lobster for Grinny”

[TLOT] Should I be annoyed that he didn't stay to help or proud of him for not killing anyone today?

[Lie] - A mixture of both is probably appropriate...  Although the day isn't over yet

[Steve] Is merrily tapping away on the typewriter. There are a few random words but it's mostly nonsense.

[Banette] Toddles up behind Lie. - baaan?

{Lie] - Hmm?  Oh, hey there, do you want a treat?

[Banette] Hops up and down excitedly. It's zippers make a soft jingling noise.

[TLOT] Hey Lie? Notch has your cat. Sorry about that.

[Lie] Digs through her inventory and finds a raspberry and offers it to Banette- That's okay, Hope likes having a lap to lay in that wont move for hours

[Banette] Gobbles the berry and lets out a happy humm.

[Steve] That's a weird noise. The other room is all clean now.

[TLOT] Regards the punching bag. - I'm glad I'm not dressed, this thing is messy as fuck.

[Grinny] Starts slinking up to Endrea's room-

[Banette] Notices him and runs over to pick him up-

[Grinny] Hisses and swats at the pokemon-

[Banette] Is ghostly and mostly ignores it to bring the cat to Lie - Ette!

[Lie] - Thank you Banette, hello Grinny

[Grinny] - FUCK OFF!

[TLOT] Hark, I hear a Grinny!

[Steve] Reminds me of Cp...

[Grinny] - Do not associate me with that crude caveman!

[TLOT] It's because you're an angry cat that cusses a lot.

[Steve] And you're also a creepypasta!

[TLOT] That too.

[Lie] - Well, I think it's a good sign that we haven't heard any explosions yet...

[Yaunfen] Is sniffing at LIe's netherwort-

[Doc] Hey Grinny. Sorry you got lost in the shuffle, hopefully you weren't too bored.

[Grinny] - Like I care about anything that just happened

[TLOT] You didn't even enjoy Blake getting his ass whupped?

[Grinny] - It was a bit amusing...  Would have been more so if it hadn't disturbed my nap

[Doc] Little griefer. Hey, when was the last time you ate?

[Lie] - Hm?  Oh, this morning

[Doc] I don't know about you guys, but I'm hungry.

[Steve] Food sounds good.

[TLOT] I don't need it, obviously, but that would be nice.

[Lie] - I suppose my hunger bar could be a bit more full...

[Steve] You like roughing it too Lie? I don't want to get too comfortable ignoring stuff that could hurt me. That's a bad habit.

[TLOT] Ummm.

[Doc] Lie?

[Lie] - Yes?

[Doc] Lie... you're an admin. Why are you in survival?

[Lie] - Ummmm, because I have been from the start?

[TLOT] Do you want to be in survival? I know you like to garden.

[Doc] You've never changed your mode?!

[Lie] At Doc- No?  I kinda forgot I could?

[Doc] -sighs- Do you want me to fix it? At the very least you could fly with Cp.

[Lie] - Wait...  I thought flying was just an inherent ability?  I just figured I hadn't figured it out yet, I mean I still can't even control my own teleports

[TLOT] Is it? I think it depends on the brine.

[Doc] Yeah, I can't fly.

[Lie] - I don't know!

[Doc] I wouldn't sweat it. You might stumble on it later. - Xe phases through the wall and curls up near them.

[Lie] - And I mean, I guess I could at least try being in creative...

[Steve] You were a player before, aren't you used to operating that way?

[TLOT] grins- Or were you hardcore Lie?

[Lie] - I...  Was never very good at remembering what to type...

[Doc] Wiggles hir stubby claws and types out an admin command to change Lie's mode- There you go. Now just be careful, since you're not trying to pick things up. Don't break everything.

[Lie] - That might take awhile to get used to...

[Doc] Scribbles on a scrap of paper - Here, just type this if you want to change back.

[Lie] - Thanks Doc

[Steve] Sooooo... food?

[Doc] Oh yeah. Are we done here?

[TLOT] Looks good to me.

[Lie] - Yeah, everything looks fine

[TLOT] Shall we head to the bar?

[Steve] Lie should fly!

[Lie] - Errrr...

[Banette] Has curled up on the rug by the bookshelves and is looking sleepy and full.

[Doc] I think someone else really enjoyed all the battling.

[TLOT] Comes back upstairs with Steve in tow.

[Steve] Picks up Grinny and pets him -

[Grinny] - PUT ME DOWN YOU HEATHEN!

[Steve] Don't you want to come eat with us?

[Grinny] - NO!

[Doc] Oh come on. I'll get you anything you want.

[Grinny] Hisses-

[Yaunfen] Comes running back- Burp!

[Doc] Opens the door for Yaunfen and phases back outside-

[Steve] Marches out as well with Grinny in his hands-

[TLOT] Come on Lie, just try hovering a bit

[Lie] Follows them out, accidentally breaking the door in the process as she tries to close it- Damnit

[TLOT] Copies the remaining door and puts it back. - Wrong button Lie.

[Lie] - Shush, honestly I'm not sure how I managed to survive as long as I did bfore being brought here...

[Steve] You're plucky! Just like an Alex. That's why.

[Lie] - Thanks...  Okay, so how do I hover?

[Doc] Technically? It's a key for up and another for down. Being right in it though? Try pushing against the ground.

[Lie] Concentrates and gets a little lift, but it's very short lived-

[TLOT] Feels around in her mind and isolates the thought that caused the lift before showing it to her- More of that.

[Lie] Tries again and yelps as she rockets far to high up-

[TLOT] Okay, maybe a bit less of that.

[Doc] Trots up the air blocks to get level with her - gently.

[Lie] - I'm a little worried about the down part...

[Doc] Swirls down a little - I'll catch you. Besides, fall damage is zero in creative.

[Lie] Jerkily lowers to the ground-

[TLOT] Good start, try leveling off about two blocks up and stay there.

[Lie] - But I just got back on the ground!

[Doc] Just for practice. Then you can just zip along without running.

[Lie] Tries again and ends up just under two blocks up-

[Doc] Puts a paw behind her and gives a gentle shove, like sliding a mug on a table.

[Lie] - Ah, I'm not sure how to  feel about this...

[Doc] Sorry. - Xe moves hir foot away - I won't touch if that's uncomfortable.

[Lie] - This just feels so weird...

[Steve] Just because you're not used to it?

[Lie] - Probably?  I mean, CP's carried me before while flying, but I've never actually done it myself...

[TLOT] That's kinda romantic actually.

[Doc] I'm torn, I don't know if I like it better when Deerheart rides me or when I ride her.

[TLOT] That's cause you're a switch. Haha

[Doc] Shut up

[Lie] Lowers herself to the ground again-

[Doc] Is bumbling along because Yaunfen is riding hir head, trying to make it more fun for them-

[Yaunfen] Is making happy noises-

[Doc] Skitters down the side of the embankment and back up the other instead of using the bridge.

[Lie] - Bar isn't on fire, that's a bonus

[TLOT] Glamces at the lava fountain- I'll put my shirt back on for the sake of decorum, but no lava today. It's too damn hot.

[Doc] He's getting better, we should give him a cookie

[Steve] Catnip cookie

[Winston] Is having a conversation with Sam while Magnolia is trying some foods-

[CP] Is downing many shot glasses-

[Lie] - How about we don't make him angrier

[Steve] I'm just playing.

[TLOT] Holds the door for Lie and his hubby-

[Lie] Walks through-

[Doc] Does a little twist and ends up in hir regular shape with Yaunfen across hir arms- getting so big!

[Yaunfen] - BURP!  BURP!

[Doc] Also comes in with Yaunfen-

[Steve] Whispers to Sam and points to Grinny.

[Sam] Looks a bit wierded out but nods anyway.

[Steve] Sam is gonna do something cool for you Grinny-

[Grinny] - How about you all just FUCK OFF!

[Sam] Goes in the kitchen for a minute and then motions for Steve to bring the cat in.

[Steve] Follows - I know you like mean stuff so this might be appealing.

[Lie] Sits next to CP-

[Grinny] Tries biting Steve-

[Steve] No! Bad! Just give me a chance!

[Grinny] - NO!

[Sam] Sets the cauldron boiling and pulls out a squirming lobster -

[Steve] Turns the cat's head so he'll see

[Grinny] - It's a lobster...  So what?

[Sam] Throws it in the scalding water and there's a small amount of flailing and thrashing before it dies and is pulled out again.

[Grinny] - Whoopidy fucking doo, I've seen it at least a dozen times before

[Steve] Aww, but it's for you.

[Grinny] - Don't care

[Steve] Very sad pouty face. - O-okay....

[Sam] Preps the lobster anyway and plates it on the counter just inside the kitchen before walking out with a knowing look.

[Steve] Sets Grinny down - I'll... I'll just go check on the others then.... - sniffle.

[Grinny] - Good!  Leave!

[Steve] Slumps-

[Sam] Gives Steve a little hug as he comes out of the kitchen.

[TLOT] It's okay my lamb, it was a good thought.

[Grinny] Jumps up next to the lobster once he's sure he's alone and takes a few bites-