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#a bit more careful about what i was doing with that character and in fact with every other character
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I’m gonna be honest I didn’t realize the new 52 messed with Kon that much till I read your post and now I can’t get over the potential. I’m a Tim/Kon girly at heart so I would devour anything you write exploring the 52 vs typical Kon. Also Time being in a clone sandwich is 👌.
the new-52 messed Kon up SO bad it's ridiculous. like, to the point i would personally argue he's a completely unrelated character to pre-Flashpoint/Rebirth Kon. his personality, his suit, his origin, all different. the only real similarities are the name and powerset. and even New-52!Kon's powers are slightly different from pre-Flashpoint!Kon. New-52!Kon is a clone of a future version of Jon Lane Kent, cloned by N.O.W.H.E.R.E. to provide genetic material to Jon Lane Kent, whose body was not handling being half human/half Kryptonian well, it was a whole thing. New-52!Kon is also where we get the infamous "Kon-El means 'abomination of the house of El' and Kara basically named him a slur in Kryptonian culture" tidbit, because that is the only time that's canon. (originally Kon-El was a name gifted by Clark to accept Kon as his family way back in the 90s) he also never went by Conner Kent. New-52!Kon just straight up didn't have any real human identity or connections, outside of being very close to Tim and some Titans.
the very TLDR of Kon's history is: during post-Crisis/pre-Flashpoint, a clone called Superboy is created by CADMUS. at first, he's considered to be a clone of a dude named Paul Westfield and is not Kryptonian whatsoever, he was simply made to look like Superman and only has Tactile Telekinesis as a power. then, it was made canon that actually he was a clone of Lex Luthor and Clark Kent, but Lex hid this fact and slowly, Kon developed more Kryptonian powers. he's given the name Kon-El by Clark, and is taken in by the Kents, getting the name Conner Kent. then Flashpoint happens, we get the New-52, and we're given the above version of Kon-El, who is a clone of Jon Lane Kent, created by N.O.W.H.E.R.E. who has mostly very strong telekinesis powers and some Kryptonian powers. he's with the Titans for a bit, then at the end of the New-52, he kills some aliens and feels bad about it so he decides to fuck off and is never seen again, it's presumed he's dead but never confirmed. then Rebirth happens and DC makes Jon Kent the current Superboy, we get Supersons and all that, and it's assumed that no version of Kon-El exists. just at all. he's not around whatsoever, Jon is our only Superboy. *but* in 2019, we get a new Young Justice run and the pre-Flashpoint Kon-El is back, and we're given the explanation of: Kon got accidentally teleported to this alternate realm called Gemworld and then Flashpoint happened, and since that was a Crisis Event that changed the timeline, the poor lad got *erased* from the timeline, causing most people to *not fucking remember him* and for him to remember a timeline that no longer exists. some of the Young Justice team vaguely remember him, Ma and Pa Kent remember him, but notably, Clark *does not remember him*. it's not an issue of "Clark ignored Kon in favor of Jon" it's an issue of "Kon was erased from the timeline and didn't exist for years bc he was stuck in Gemworld and Clark just doesn't remember Kon or Kon's timeline" which to me, is far more tragic but i digress. since then, Kon has been back and is present in most significant Superfamily runs, with his own recent mini-series, Superboy: Man of Tomorrow. (which was very good btw)
so basically: the New-52 fucked Kon up so bad they wrote him out of comics for years and then brought back the pre-Flashpoint version, but never *explicitly* killed the New-52 version off. so hypothetically, it's possible that there are currently two characters existing in the DC universe named Kon-El who have been Superboy. and like i said above, one of New-52!Kon's only real significant relationships was with Tim, it was the only thing the New-52 managed to get right about Superboy, his closeness to Tim. they have a *lot* of moments that read incredibly queer. and ofc, it's just outright confirmed in Dark Crisis: Young Justice that Tim had a crush on pre-Flashpoint!Kon at some point. so while comics are intent on pretending New-52!Kon doesn't exist, i am intent on putting Tim in a clone sandwich.
because i do think it's fun to play with Tim having genuine feelings and potentially a relationship with both of them. and the fucked up nature of him not fully *remembering* his relationship with pre-Flashpoint!Kon (which is a canon thing, in YJ(2019) Tim has vague memories of Kon he's struggling to piece together and understand why he cares about this guy he doesn't recognize so much) and how frustrating that is for Tim. he knows he loves Kon, but it's all foggy besides that. and so it's even *more* fucked up if Tim dated New-52!Kon before he got emo and ran off into the unknown. obviously in canon no one has told current Kon about New-52!Kon bc comics are doing the good ol' tried and true of "sweep that shit under the rug" but for fanfic, i think it's fun to ask the question of: would anyone *tell* Kon? especially Tim? who now remembers dating both versions of them? would he admit to Kon that briefly, he had another Kon? how would Tim cope with that and move on? personality wise, they could not be more different. they dress and act and look different. they're not the same person, but there's certainly a questionable factor of Tim's dating history including two Kon-Els.
the idea i've had for a while is Tim slowly starting to date pre-Flashpoint!Kon again. it feels familiar and like home. and Tim has grieved and accepted that wherever New-52!Kon is, he doesn't want to come home, he didn't love TIm enough to stay and try. so Tim takes the Kon he has, and genuinely has a happy relationship. like for once, life is good and things almost make sense for Tim. but then, of course, New-52!Kon comes back. he decides he wants to try again and he finds Tim. only to find well. he's been replaced. and technically, he's been replaced with the *original* that he didn't even know *existed*. and if being a clone is bad enough, that just makes it a hundred times worse. because imagine knowing you're actually the second Kon-El your boyfriend who you never *technically* broke up with fell in love with. that's gotta give you some kind of complex.
so i think it's fun if both Kons try to step back and let the other Kon date Tim. both of them have reasons to feel like the "replacement" or "fake" Kon, and it makes them incredibly awkward with each other. do they count as the same person? bc they definitely don't *feel* like the same person to each other, but with weird timeline stuff, who can really say. them settling on an awkward throuple that's really meant to be Tim just dating them both but somehow they end up dating each other too is so fun for me. they both feel like imposters to the Superboy name but are so deeply in love with Tim Drake, it's the one thing truly connecting them. and then of course, Tim feels bad in that somehow, he's betraying both of them for having feelings for the other. but they make it work, with a lot of awkward angst and miscommunication. i just think it'd be fun. very difficult to write to get all the weird timeline nuances down in a way that's understandable in a fanfic (bc you can't just. infodump like i did on this post) but doable. also difficult to tag, because even though i argue these are two different characters, i'm pretty sure Ao3 groups them under the same character tag. so it'd be difficult to convey it's not *really* as selfcest-y as it would imply. comics, man. DC will never acknowledge New-52!Kon again, and he's admittedly a terrible adaptation of Kon-El, but. i think he was sort of neat in his own right and i'd *love* for DC to just inexplicably bring him back and make the current Kon deal with the consequences of all that. and them make Tim kiss them both. obviously.
#necrotic answerings#timkon#how do I tag this ship i'm so serious#kontimkon#I fucking *guess*?#also just plain Kon/Kon could be neat as well#I don't view it as selfcest. but like. I understand if ppl do#also if I got some details wrong i'm so sorry#I was tipsy writing this.#new-52!Kon you were a disaster child but come back from the war I miss you.#i'd need to reread the new-52 superboy and teen titans run to write this#just to be sure I've got a solid grasp on his character#pre-flashpoint!Kon I understand just fine he's my son I've read most of his content#new-52!Kon. eeeeeh. i've read it. years ago. and I'm not even sure if I actually read it all through or just bits and pieces#I hated him when he existed be like. he fucked up Kon so bad we fucking lost Kon for a couple years#but in hindsight. he had potential.#also if you want another bizarre fun fact about the new-52#Tim was never Robin in the new-52. he went straight to being Red Robin.#also his parents are alive and in witsec. do with that what you will.#weird times.#I guess new-52!Kon could've been erased by rebirth but I don't think he was?? bc characters have recalled his existence so?#hypothetically he *should* exist???#and if he doesn't#*oh well* I do what I want#DC you may not care about the implications of your retcons and reboots but I do. I do.#I want more fandom acknowledgement of Kon getting fucking erased from the timeline and no one remembering him#yes it's fun to make Clark a bad dad#but Kon was forgotten! by almost everyone! that's also fun!#young justice (2019) isn't the *best* comic ever but it's still solid! lots of good Kon whump I tell you.#he was fucking going *through* it that run I tell you. by God.
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forest-hashira · 1 day
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Naked in Osaka
hi friends! this is my submission for @pixelcafe-network's "challenge friday" that they do every other week! the prompt this week was a random song selected by shuffle, and my assigned song was "Naked In Manhattan" by Chappell Roan, and after a bit of debate (& some help from friends), i decided to go with shoko for this fic. it's a quick thing, but it was fun! i hope to write more for female characters in the future, and this was a good jumping off point 💜
read on ao3 | wc: ~2.6k | cw: gender neutral reader (no pronouns used, but implied fem reader based on song lyrics), alcohol consumption, making out, implied smut at the end (kinda?), implied first sapphic experience (thus the pride divider), shoko calls reader "cute", minor background stsg
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“Please leave your message after the tone.” Beep.
“Hey Sho, I know you just landed, and I know you're probably busy, but I would love to see you, so call me when you can.” 
You sighed softly to yourself as you ended the call, tucking your cellphone into your pocket. It wasn’t exactly a surprise that you’d gotten Shoko’s voicemail – she’d been out of the country on a trip and had only just gotten back – but it was still a bit of a disappointment. You hadn’t been able to see her much since you’d graduated from Jujutsu High together, since you’d moved to Osaka just a few weeks later. She was good about returning your calls and texts, so you tried not to think about it too much.
Despite how infrequently you got to see your friend in person, she never really left your thoughts. In fact, you probably thought about her more than was normal. The two of you had been pretty close in school, spending a lot of your time together, especially when Gojo and Geto were off on missions or otherwise wrapped up in each other. You’d been friends with the boys too, of course, but your one on one time with Shoko was where you formed all your best memories of your school years. Around third year was when you realized your fondness for the other girl may have been more than just platonic, but you never allowed yourself to dwell on it or bring it up to Shoko, telling yourself it was no different than the way the boys felt or acted around each other, so there couldn’t be anything weird about it.
Then again, the boys had gone on to start dating after graduation, and last you’d heard they’d gotten engaged, so… Maybe it was worth revisiting those feelings again.
The sound of your phone ringing pulled you out of your thoughts, and when you saw Shoko’s contact picture – a slightly blurry selfie she’d sent you nearly a year ago while she was out getting drinks with her friends in Tokyo, her cheeks a little flushed and a soft smile tugging at her lips – on the screen, you felt your cheeks begin to burn, as if you’d been caught doing something you shouldn’t.
“Hey.”
“What are you doing tonight?” Shoko asked, and you couldn’t help but smile. Your conversations with her never really seemed to stop or start; instead, it was more like you’d been having one long conversation with her from the day you’d met.
“Nothing,” you told her, idly beginning to pace your room. “What’s up?”
“Figured I’d come see you if you were free. That okay?”
You bit your lip for a moment, suddenly feeling very flustered. “I-I, uh… Yeah! Yeah, that’s fine. That sounds great, actually.” It was obvious even to you that you were stumbling over your words, and you cringed slightly at how weird you sounded.
Shoko only chuckled quietly at you. “Careful,” she teased, “if you act too excited you might give me a bigger head than Gojo.”
That made you laugh. “As if that could ever happen.”
“You’re right,” she agreed, her words airy with laughter. “Does that udon place down the street from you still do carryout?”
“Yeah, as far as I know.”
“Cool. I’ll cover dinner if you’ll cover drinks.”
“Wine or sake?”
“Surprise me.”
She hung up without saying goodbye, though that wasn’t unusual. You glanced at the time, and though you knew you had a few hours before she’d be there even if she’d already been on the train when she called you, you already felt like you were running out of time for all the things you needed to do before she arrived. 
After a few moments of internal scrambling, you figured out a rough order of operations: popping into the liquor store to grab Shoko’s favorite wine, then a mad dash to make your apartment presentable, then finally a shower before she arrived. The trip to the store didn’t take very long, and you tucked the two bottles of wine you’d grabbed into your freezer to chill while you cleaned and got ready. 
Thankfully, your apartment wasn’t as much of a mess as you’d convinced yourself it was, so cleaning it didn’t take long at all, and you were able to hop in the shower within an hour of getting off the phone. The last thing you wanted was to smell when you saw your friend for the first time in over a year, and you knew you were sweating from nerves. It was ridiculous to be nervous about seeing her, you knew that, but this time felt different, somehow. Maybe it was because you’d been wondering earlier that day if you really did have feelings for Shoko.
Whatever the reason was, you were desperate not to smell like nervous sweats.
After thoroughly scrubbing yourself with your best-smelling body wash, you hurried to your bedroom to get dressed. Overwhelmed with options, you threw on some underwear and paced your room, feeling like a nervous teenager.
It’s just Shoko, you reminded yourself, sitting down on your rug. She’s not gonna care what you’re wearing as long as you’re wearing something. A soft groan escaped you then, and you flopped onto your back and covered your face with your hands.
Your pity party came to an abrupt end when your phone chimed. Pushing yourself up just enough to grab it from your bed, you saw a text from Shoko, letting you know her train was about to arrive, and that she’d be at your apartment in half an hour at most. 
The message made your heart flip in your chest. How long have I been laying here? How long was I in the shower?? Instead of letting her in on your internal panic, you shot back a simple “see you soon!” text, then leapt up from the floor, scrambling to find clothes that were comfortable but also somewhat presentable. Eventually you settled on a pair of pajama shorts and a loose t-shirt, then stepped into the bathroom to make sure your hair wasn’t a complete disaster.
You’d only just finished putting your hair out of your face in a way you were satisfied with when you heard a knock at the door. Heart skipping a beat again, you took a deep breath to steady yourself, then hurried to answer the door.
Shoko stood there with a small smile on her face, an overnight bag slung over her shoulder and the takeout in her other hand. “Long time no see,” she greeted, stepping inside as you moved aside. “Is it cool if I go change real quick?” She set the takeout on your table as she spoke, then turned to you and arched a brow slightly.
“Yeah, of course. I’ll get the drinks out and everything while you do that.”
Her smile widened the tiniest bit. “Perfect.”
She made her way to your bathroom with her overnight bag, and as she shut the door, you pulled a bottle of wine from the freezer and two glasses from the cabinet. They weren’t fancy, and they didn’t match, but you told yourself it was better than drinking out of plastic cups.
Once the glasses were out, you opened the bottle, pouring a fair amount into each of the glasses, though one had a bit more; Shoko’s tolerance had always been a bit higher than yours, so you were sure she would want to drink more than you did to make sure you had the same buzz. 
You had just started pulling the takeout from the bag when Shoko came back from getting changed, and your heart fluttered a bit when you saw her. She wore a tank top with a big picture of Gudetama in the middle and a pair of yellow shorts to match. It reminded you of the pajama sets Gojo had gotten everyone when you were in high school – Cinnamoroll for himself, Kuromi for Geto, Badtz-Maru for Shoko, and Keroppi for you – though you knew it wasn’t the same set from back then, since she wore a different character now. 
“You’re staring,” Shoko teased, bumping you lightly with her hip once she was standing beside you. “Do I really look that hot in my pajamas?”
Though her words left you feeling more than a little flustered, you just scoffed at her and rolled your eyes. “They remind me of the ones Gojo got us when we were in school, that’s all.” 
“He got me these ones, too,” she said with a small chuckle. “They were for my birthday last year.”
“Why’d he pick a different character than the one he picked when we were in school?”
“He said the penguin reminds him too much of Megumi now,” she said with a shrug, and you both laughed. You could see the resemblance too, though; both had the spiky black hair and the deadpan expression, and imagining Gojo telling the boy that nearly made you die laughing all over again, but you kept it to yourself for the moment.
Just as comfortable in your home as she was in her own, Shoko opened a few of your kitchen drawers, grabbing soup spoons and chopsticks for the both of you. “We should watch a movie while we eat.”
“What do you want to watch?” you asked curiously, carrying the takeout to your living room and setting it on your coffee table.
“What was that American movie we watched all the time in school?” she asked, following after you with the utensils and wine. “It was about those high school girls who wore pink.”
“Mean Girls?”
“Yeah, Mean Girls!” she grinned, setting everything down before sitting on the floor, gesturing for you to join her. “God, I don’t know how we never got sick of that movie.”
“Because Regina George was hot,” you replied without thinking about it.
The words drew a laugh from her, and she bumped you with her shoulder. “Glad I’m not the only one who thinks so.”
A small, relieved chuckle left you at her teasing words. “I’m sure we could stream it somewhere if you wanna watch it again.”
“Please, I could use a good throwback.” She took a long sip from her glass, then opened the lid on her bowl of udon.
With a nod, you grabbed the remote for your TV, sipping from your own glass as you flipped through various streaming services looking for the movie. Eventually you found it, not even caring that you had to pay to watch it; it was worth it to have a night in with your friend, especially when you knew it would make her laugh and smile more.
Once the movie had started, you finally got into your own food. You smiled when you saw that Shoko had gotten your order perfect without even asking. She’d memorized it in school, but it made butterflies flutter in your stomach a bit to know that she’d never forgotten it, even after so much time apart.
For the most part it was quiet as you watched the movie, only the soft sounds of occasional slurping and the faint clinging noise of glass on glass when Shoko topped up your wine glasses. Every once in a while, one of you would make a small comment or joke, or you’d quote the lines along with the movie before bursting out laughing. It felt like being back in school, huddled in one of your dorm beds, sharing drinks from a flask shoko had managed to sneak on campus.
At some point, you set your glass down after finishing the contents. It had been your second glass – or maybe your second? Shoko had topped you up enough times that it was hard to be sure – and was enough to have everything feeling a little fuzzy around the edges. Leaning back against your couch, you turned your head towards the other woman, smiling to yourself as you watched her, rather than the movie.
She’s so pretty… even prettier than when we were in school. When did she get so pretty?
“I’ve always been this pretty.”
Shoko’s words startled you a bit, and though it took your brain a moment to catch up, you realized she was responding to your thoughts. Only… you must have said all of them out loud, rather than just in your head. The realization had your face burning with embarrassment. “Oh my god, Sho, I—”
“It’s okay,” she assured you with a smile. She settled into the same position as you, turning to face you a bit. “‘M glad you think I’m pretty. Always thought you were cute, too.”
The whole world came to a screeching halt around you. “…You did?”
“Yeah,” she said easily, brushing her hair out of her eyes. Her words weren’t slurred, but you could see that her movements were loosened a bit from the wine. “Thought you knew that.”
“No, I… How would I have known? You never said anything.”
“I saw the way you looked at me. Thought you’d only look at me like that if you knew.”
You blinked, confused, and more than a little worried. “…How did I look at you?”
Her expression softened at that. “The same way I caught Gojo staring at Geto when Geto wasn’t looking, before they got together.”
The words sent a mixture of shame and hope swirling around your tipsy mind, and before you could really contemplate your next move, you heard yourself asking, “Can I kiss you?”
Shoko’s cheeks flushed a bit, and she nodded, shifting closer and wrapping her arm around your waist. Your eyes widened as she came into your space, and when you felt her breath on your lips, your own finally started cooperating with you again.
“I’ve never kissed a girl before.”
“I’ll teach you,” was Shoko’s only response before she kissed you. She was surprisingly warm, and it only took a second for your eyes to slip shut and for you to melt into her, returning her kiss eagerly. As she kissed you, everything else in the world faded away, the only sensation you were aware of was the feeling of her lips on yours.
It didn’t take long for her to press in closer, tilting her head a bit to deepen the kiss. Stumbling and a bit inexperienced, you did your best to move with her. She held you closer with the arm around your waist, her free hand coming up to cup your cheek, guiding your movements the tiniest bit. Time slowed and stretched out, the moment between you endless in the best possible way. You weren’t entirely sure when her tongue came into the mix, but next thing you knew you were parting your lips to let her in. 
A small sound escaped you as she deepened the kiss further, turning slightly to press you both into the couch a bit more. Still struggling to keep up because of the alcohol in your bloodstream, the movement threw you off a bit. Reluctantly, you pulled away for a moment, needing desperately to catch your breath. 
Shoko smiled down at you as you panted, faces only inches apart. “How was that for your first kiss with a girl?”
“I really wanna kiss you again.”
She laughed softly. “Is kissing all you wanna do tonight?” She arched a brow curiously, her thumb tracing your bottom lip lightly. 
“I don’t know how to do anything else,” you breathed, “but I'd love to learn.”
“Looks like I've got some teaching to do, then. Lesson one: kissing with tongue.” She leaned in again, capturing your lips in another passionate kiss. You were more than willing to let her take the lead, though; there was no one else you’d rather have teach you everything, anyways.
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is there a muse or inspiration you draw from when it comes to your stories? you just have so many and i’m wondering what fountain of immortal writing youth you drank from, dawg LMAO
last ask before signing off! but this is such a fun one to think about!
i don't have one surefire source of inspiration (other than my chronically silly brain), each story has a different landing pad that usually consists of a random thing that i've taken inspiration from, and a question to drive the work (some are very edgy or philosophical haha). they come from incredibly random sources, but i can list the ones i remember!
tales from a dying heart
where it came from: i wanted to write an anthology as a break from my old novella structure, and i was thinking about love. obviously i had to fuck it up because god forbid anything on the archives is happy. fun fact: that was originally the only story the archives was meant to hold! it was the first and only story, and the blog used to be themed after tales from a dying heart entirely (that's why my current pfp is still the heart itself)!
driving question: "why does love hurt people?"
the rockdove promise
where it came from: originally a group project that i had the idea for (i was itching to write something with mythology and more classic fantasy if that makes sense). when the others couldn't continue it, i had already fallen in love with the world and gods, so i added more to the worldbuilding, and added characters i was passionate about (and found my first ever character punching bag, laszlo).
driving question: "how can we save what we care about from oppressive control?"
insincere.
where it came from: i had one of my worst days where i couldn't get out of bed. i had the idea to channel the feelings into a story, so i got out of bed, and wrote insincere., then decided i wanted to keep it going after my initial bad day.
driving question: "how can we feel happy?"
on kingston alley
where it came from: someone, i think it was @noxxytocin, added me in a tag game that involved writing a scene with the provided line. i was a young, growing archivist back then and didn't understand the concept, so i wrote a short screenplay, giving it a fun mystery hook (because i felt like it) and some repressed sapphics, then decided to continue it because the format was so freeing!
driving question: "why do we forget the victims?"
school rules
where it came from: a novel i abandoned because the format wasn't clicking. i axed the mc, replaced them with sunny and remade the old mc to be what is now darcy spencer, and changed the format to my first ever first person story since my first novella!
driving question: "how does academic pressure hurt us?"
the dumaresq poems
where it came from: i was getting overwhelmed with my own expectations for uploads from the rest of volume 1, so i dug up some old poems of mine, rewrote them a bit, and put a cute woodsy aesthetic over it!
driving question: "how can poetry tell us emotional stories?"
the hunt is a dance
where it came from: another project with a friend that fell through, it didn't change much from then. i took the friends desired ideals of religious and folk horror and intertwined it with my own narratives of power, hatred, and misguided justice.
driving question: "why do we bend to corruption, and how can we stop?"
TITANSPINE
where it came from: @ominous-feychild and i were discussing some of her lore, and we both bonded over our love of telepaths/prophets in stories. i had always been fascinated by urban fantasy and had a vague desire to make it, but magic systems are so hard for me. that conversation sparked a drive to actually make it. i named it red velvet, then barlowe told me to change the it (thanks for that btw), and i created the protagonist that shaped the whole story and it's themes.
driving question: "how can we fight social and police corruption?"
n3xt y3ar
where it came from: scandal after scandal, feud after feud about the existence of generative ai and it snubbing real creatives tipped me over the edge, so i wrote n3xt y3ar out of spite, imbuing it with a main character near and dear to my heart due to our similarities, and a world i both loathe and fear. let's see a robot make a story with that motivation. fuckers.
driving question: "how do us creatives find hope in a world of generative ai?"
soleil éteint
where it came from: i wanted to write another fiction podcast style story (school rules technically being the first), and i was on a magnus archives high. i'm fascinated by fear in the real world, and dreams in writing, so with the motivation of some great fiction podcasts, i began writing soleil éteint, which flowed very quickly since screenplays and podcasts are quite easy for me to write as it turns out!
driving question: "how can we stop running away from fear?"
shatter the shield
where it came from: i realised i was long overdue for some tragic gays, and i wanted to experiment with a more distinct narrator without writing a fully discursive piece like a podcast or screenplay. as i was writing the prologue, i knew the narrator, kåre, wasn't the main character. but the love i gave him for the main character, roshan, was so palpable, it made me want to continue the story. i knew by how i wrote it that kåre was going to die, and soon, but i think that added an extra level to the themes of the story.
driving question: "why can't we accept love, and why can't we process grief?"
and of course, volumes 3 and 4 come from even more random places lmao- hope this explained my random writing process!
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moeblob · 1 year
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I am... so tired after work today. Have a very lazy bust up of an OC while I try to recover energy.
#my characters#hello this is my son vikram and hes a brat and i love him#the scarring is a gift from his sister when she tried to hug him but like as a dragon#cause his dear sister can turn into a dragon#and hes just like so in love with this fact and he researches and learns all about dragons#hes like a walking encyclopedia of dragon facts and he will tell you at the most bizarre times#did you know that bog witches are often not only in charge of the bog health but ALSO THEY#TAKE CARE OF DRAGON EGGS AND THATS ACTUALLY WHERE A LOT OF DRAGONS LIKE TO LAY EGGS#IN BOGS BECAUSE THE WITCHES OFFER PROTECTION#and his friend adlyn is like buddy how do you even know this#and he learned it from his sister who learned it as a dragon when she went flying around on a whim#so he just shrugs and is like oh you know...... just..... heard it from a reliable source#and then he and adlyn are traveling with a guy who is a very famous dragon slayer#and vik doesnt really get along with him much because hes super wary of what the guy would do to his sister#and so hes a brat to the guy v often#and also vik is fireproof as a gift from the witch that turned his sister into a dragon due to a misunderstanding#anyway i took more time typing these tags than drawing the picture but whatever shh#his sister falls in love with the dragon slayer though and she doesnt travel with them but she does appear a bit#cause she can fly around and yeah#the dragon slayer does get really fond of her as well as a human and then he just kinda#sees vik talking to her dragon form one night and is like what are you doing#and vik blurts out talking to the family messenger dragon - kinda like a messenger pigeon but bigger#and the guy just sighs and walks off because vik is .... v weird and this is not worth the energy
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steelycunt · 2 years
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ridi im sorry i need to rant and i think youll get it 😭 like not to be a bitch but this fandom kinda going off the rails and annoying the shit out of me https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRbYASpf/ everybody in the comments unironically loving it,,, i mean wtvr ship who you want but its kinda getting delusional like ppl are just operating on thin air and pretty fancasts atp and i do Not understand or emotionally connect with any of it. at least w wolfstar theres so much material and foundation to explore but what is all the rest of this?? just hot celebrity fancasts and crack. to be fair part of me respects taking a terfs canon material and making everybody gay but the way it seems to be so oversaturating fics and the fandom that characters dont even feel like their original selves .. atp its all just surface level OCs
hello! yes! i'll be honest talking about things like this always make me a little nervous, and i feel obligated to preface anything i say with a disclaimer that none of it really matters, nothing i say matters, and you should do what you like, because--who cares. i am not an authority on--anything, frankly. my opinion holds no more weight than the next guy's, and all i'm doing here is giving it, so. essentially what im saying is--people are perfectly entitled to disagree with me, but people are not entitled to be mean to me about it xx
having said that. it is my personal opinion that s x barty is one of the worst fucking things i have ever heard lol. who even is barty who is that guy. why would s be interested in him at all. i do not understand it it does not make sense to me. from where are we sourcing the character traits and personality that we are giving barty that would ever endear sirius to him, because it objectively cannot be canon.
overall i do not get the new interest in barty + evan + pandora (+ regulus, but we won't go there)...at all, other than guessing that people were bored with the marauders and wanted a new version of them (and new celebrities to fancast) while simultaneously changing next to nothing about them other than superimposing them onto the first slytherin side characters they could rustle up. i expect ive become a bit of a broken record in regards to my dislike of the popular meow-meow-ification + complete absolution of regulus as a character in order to make him a loveable oc (just as i think erasing all the negative traits that r/s have in order to make them more likeable is just as boring), and all of that applies to those other guys as well (with the slight difference that they are, somehow, even less interesting and significant than regulus in canon), so i won't get into that too much. but i think what you say about having no emotional connection to any of it is exactly right lol--it is a sort of shift? i guess? in the fandom that is simply of no interest to me. they are characters that i just have no emotional investment in and admittedly struggle a little to understand why other people do. i am emotionally invested in, like, five characters overall (and even out of those--there's only two i'm really here for innit xx) and i personally cannot extend that investment to a creepy little side character who is mentioned maybe twice in the entire series.
and that is okay! i do not need to understand it. i don't want to say it annoys me because honestly--i don't go there, its nothing to do with me. if i dont like it i just wont interact with it, and the fact that it doesn't interest me has no bearing on what other people are into or want to do, and i couldn't give less of a shit what people do with the canon material, which is largely garbage anyway. take the bits you want from it, play around with those and ignore the rest. in that respect we are all doing exactly the same thing. but yeah i think s x barty is genuinely awful lol. hate it. very terrible. he's already got a loser werewolf boyfriend and he loves him so so much. leave him alone.
#i know most people are reasonable and thus it is perhaps overly cautious of me to insist on shrouding my unpopular#opinions in like. layer upon layer of placatory disclaimers but. well im a rather anxious guy i can't help it xx but im going to use these#tags to have a bit more of a consequence-less hater hour so. if you like regulus or barty or any of that lot i suggest you look away now#because i am about to express opinions about them that you probably wouldnt agree with + wouldnt enjoy reading!!#like full warning what im about to do is NOT any sort of analysis or defence of my opinion i will just be hating on them. is that clear.#okay. having said that. hater hour. barty and evan and honestly regulus were all cunts? like they were terrible people why do we care#about them now. regulus interests me solely as a piece of context for sirius' character. i could not give less of a shit about him as a#person in his own right. which leads me to my next hater moment: why oh why oh WHY on earth would canon james potter be interested#in canon regulus black. it makes sense in like a muggle au where they are virtually completely different characters but canon?#why would he be attracted to him. there is nothing. there is no chemistry i am ASLEEP and so is james. he would not give that#guy a second look. like it just baffles me it truly does. i feel like you have to bend over backwards to create a situation in which#james potter would ever show an interest in regulus. and i know jegulus is a fucking force to be reckoned with nowadays but god i just#do not like that ship. also i think the fact that barty and pandora and evan are essentially just oc characters who have been coloured#in by general fanon consensus shows in that what they have become is just. not interesting or complex or well fleshed out lol. like#idk i feel like they are just. very shallow. deliberately. so they are easy to like and easy to ship because that is what theyre there for.#god it feels so good to say all this. i will never be a hater again (<- lying) but i needed to be able to just. say this just once xx#also if you needed any more indication what barty and evan and regulus are here to do you just have to look at their#super-hot super-conventionally attractive celebrity model fancasts. like it all adds up its like but what if these death eaters were#not actually evil :-( what if they were really sweet and also? so so hot. like they were all so hot and actually really good#and none of them meant to be evil they didnt want to be :-( they were just hot good guys all in love with each other and the evil stuff#they did wasnt their fault :-( like that has to be. the most boring thing you couldve possibly done with these blank slates. surely.#anyway. im done now but i enjoyed hater hour immensely this was so fucking good for my soul xx thanks and goodnight xx#anon#telegram#scream hang on sorry. just looked at the comments of that tiktok where people are saying they were prison besties. girl. girl.#girl they were in prison for very different reasons baby. baby you know that right. baby look at me. look at me
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heloflor · 11 months
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You know, considering how many posts I recently made about Movie Peach and how negative they are, there’s something I feel the need to clarify since I wouldn’t be surprised if people had some assumptions and I don’t want words I didn’t say being put into my mouth (Tl;Dr at the end):
As a completely original character, fully detached from everything other than the movie, I have no issues with Movie Peach. She’s badass in a fun way, spunky, has a few cute faces, and I especially appreciate how despite being a strong female character stereotype she’s very supportive of Mario and builds him up rather than putting him down, it makes her likeable and their relationship very cute.
And yes, this is the way I perceived her from the get-go, but only mentioned it in my movie reaction post made all the way back when said movie came out, hence needing to say it again now. To quote that post: “Least favorite character is DK. It could’ve been Peach but my issues with her stem from how different she is from her games counterpart. If you take her movie character as a brand-new character rather than a game adaptation, she’s actually pretty great as a guide and strong mentor.” And while there are things in this post I now disagree with, this part remains my current opinion.
So yeah, as an original character, she’s pretty great...but that’s also the issue.
Movie Peach is not an original character. She’s supposed to be an adaptation of a pre-existing character who already has her own personality. And as an adaptation, Movie Peach fails at every level. Not only that, but several dialogues keep hyping her up in a way that comes off as Illuminations looking down on Games Peach, you know, the character their own Peach is supposed to be an adaptation of.
That’s why I take such issue with Movie Peach. It’s not the character itself, it’s how bad of an adaptation she is. And if I did my job correctly, every single time I talk negatively of her in my posts, it’s about her as an adaptation specifically. The only instance of me being an ass for no reason is in my table comparison post where I call her a dumbass, which I point out in the tags to be me throwing shade and not something I actually believe.
Now I also want to say that I hate Movie Peach for what she represents and the consequences of her existence on Peach’s character and her perception by the public, so to keep it short I’m going with bullet points:
It annoys me a lot that a multi-million dollars company couldn’t be bothered to adapt her character properly, especially since they apparently closely worked with Nintendo and the concept art very much show them who Peach is as a person (the one where she’s encouraging Mario to fight DK reminds me of the 86 Anime where she keeps having Mario fight her battles while powerless to defend herself; also it’s funny how in the art of Games Peach reacting to Movie Peach it’s obvious the artist had no idea what personality Movie Peach has). The fact she’s a favorite character of mine doesn’t help and makes me feel robbed from seeing a beloved character on the big screen for the first time. And obviously them low-key insulting her by hyping up Movie Peach makes it worse.
Even before getting into the fandom I knew that Peach isn’t the most well-liked character, with many gamers especially finding her bland and boring. This was already sad on its own, but now those same people are praising a character who’s completely different from her for being “so much better” or “finally giving her a personality”. It sucks. Games Peach deserves better than that.
With those things in mind I don’t think I need to explain why the fact this characterization is possibly bleeding out into the games is something I dread. Now I can live with a cover art change, but if they change her actual character I’m going to scream. Especially if they only do it to Peach and no other character. And yes I know some people also pointed out a possible direction change for her voice but 1. for some reason I don’t really care, possibly because she’s been through quite a lot of voice-actors already 2. we only clearly hear her voice in the Showtime trailer during the Kung-Fu part so maybe her voice will differ depending on the costume, it is a stageplay after all, and 3. the Wonder short with Bowser has her let out four noises, one of which has a different tone while the other three keep her usual high octave, so I’m not sure if they truly intend on changing her voice. Haven’t played Wonder yet tho so I can’t speak to all her other voicelines.
Hopefully this will be my last post about this outside of answering asks and reblogs as I’m always open to discussions/debates. I don’t like bringing negativity and especially not drama to my blog but, considering the extensive rant I made about this, it only feels right to make sure people don’t misinterpret where my issues come from, since I can absolutely understand people seeing my posts and concluding that I hate Movie Peach for who she is rather than what she represents.
Now, instead of being negative about Movie Peach I’d rather focus on being positive about Games Peach, mostly through the fics I’m working on.
Tl;Dr: Movie Peach would be genuinely great as an original character but alas she was put inside the skin of someone with a completely different personality from hers. And it's very hard to look past this given the consequences of Movie Peach's existence on how people percieve Peach as a whole now on top of a possible change in her games character.
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pyrriax · 3 months
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ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏
#haunted ecosystem#i'll take a burst of creativity in a different form than usual than the burnout slump i've been in for a few months#<- part of why my fandom stuff has taken a smidge of a backseat#dont get me wrong i am still very excited about my fandoms im just having fun off in oc hell (affectionate)#its nice to just be able to create and not really worry about perception. and also i feel Less bad about just throwing ocs into the wringer#((blame the fact i've been REALLY interested in whump recently and i have been. fixated. on one of my characters.))#and ALSO i've been! rekindling my flame for wtds. i've been putting off thinking about it since that fic got.#nothing bad happened? but it was still very devastating that somebody who i considered a friend from that fic just. evaporated.#but i'm gonna finish that fic for him :) even if it takes a year. even if it's the one thing i finish ever. it'll be wtds.#for where its gotten me and the fact its what got me out of my shell and is the reason i trust that my writing is good!#i used to really hate rereading my work. i catch flaws that are obvious to me. but that fic. i just think about how *good* the story is#that story means. a lot to me? as a person? like the main character is not a good person. but people care about him anyway.#and there are so many little things. so many sentiments. so much that is a love letter to people who've done bad but learnt to do better#because. god knows i wasnt a good person even just a few years ago. and maybe i see myself in him a bit.#he came from a place of paranoia and fear and pain. and maybe its a good thing that i've found it difficult to write him recently.#because god. i've been HAPPY. even with the rough moments and bad days. i've been happy. i mean fuck.#my birthday's what. ten days away? god damn man. i'm going to be 18. that's an achievement.#i want to look the kid who thought it was over at half my age and tell him we fucking made it. and there are more years to come.#there's a life ahead. even if it's going to be a bitch. even if it's going to be tough. there's love in your heart and people who care and#you're going to fucking live and you're going to feel better one day. you have people to meet properly and thank and cherish.#because for every day it feel like the world's ending there are a dozen more where the sun shines just the right way through the rain#and you can't help but smile because it's just so god damn beautiful.#and fuck it. you're sick. your hands hurt and your legs don't work right. and it's tough sometimes. but you have people who understand.#you have people who honest to god love you for who you are and appreciate your company. and 18 is the first step.#you've spent half your life unlearning things and you've spent half your life relearning how to be what YOU want to be#and if you're a mediocre artist and passionate writer then you'll be fucking great at that. taking the time to learn when it strikes you.#and maybe this is for me. but its also for anybody reading it too. please god if there's one thing you take from this let it be that#somebody out there cares. *I* care. god i care. even if we've never spoken proper i care about you.#i practically have a list of everybody i see in my inbox. i love seeing familiar names show up. i.#i dont know how to neatly wrap up this tag ramble. but. i am so damn full of love it hurts sometimes. its scary to be happy but thats ok!
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ninjagotohell · 4 months
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I just read a whole wacky thread of people arguing which parent was bad Garmadon or Misako and I’m no longer scared of the Misako defenders
#shoutout to the one person who was going on about how garmadon was bad for LETTING LLOYD GET DRAFTED??? HUH???#they had a whole bunch of essays about that and everyone just had to ignore it cuz wtf were they on about#their argument kind of just turned into Everyone Is Bad Cuz They Let Lloyd Be A Ninja#and like. sure? but that’s just (LIKE THEY LITERALLY SAID) bc of the writers not realizing the implications. so it’s irrelevant#cuz it applies to EVERYONE man so WHY ARE WE DISCUSSING THIS. also why point to GARMADON do u think he WANTED LLOYD TO BE THE GREEN NINJA#WAS THAT NOT LIKE. HIS ENTIRE GOAL. TO MAKE HIM NOT THE GREEN NINJA. applies to Misako too actually#my point is it was SO IRRELEVANT LOL#oh yeah but um the actual post. uh. yeah the ppl defending Misako were literally making stuff up and refusing to fact check#like listen I hella respect if you want to make ur little headcanons that justify her actions a bit more but you CANNOT be treating them as#fact like you literally made that up 😭#it wouldn’t be as bad if they weren’t also making stuff up to make Garmadon look WORSE. like wtf. they were straight up contradicting canon#to say that Garmadon didn’t care or whatever and never even tried to be there for Lloyd LIIIKE#honestly my biggest damning reason I don’t like Misako is honestly the fact that we meet her GIVING A TOUR. THAT IS NOT MORE IMPORTANT THAN#UR SON. like sure research prophecy or whatever SHE CLEARLY IS DONE WITH THAT AND IS JUST CHILLIN AT THE MUSEUM LIKE WHATTT#it’s like ‘oh she’s on break’ or ‘oh she’s just earning some money yknow ppl need that’ BUT LIKE. UR TELLING ME SHE HAS FREE TIME OUTSIDE OF#RESEARCH AND SHE CANT SPEND EVEN A MINUTE TO REACH OUT TO HER SON????#a lot of the arguments I saw acted like she couldn’t spare a single moment for Lloyd otherwise it gets in the way of her research when#CLEARLY SHE CAN. bro was CASUALLY STROLLING ALONG THE MUSEUM and just goes ‘oh hey abandoned son’ LIKEEE#Misako could’ve been a better character if the writers like. thought about things a LITTLE MORE. and gave her some depth.#and YOU CAN HEADCANON AS MUCH DEPTH AS YOU WANT ONTO HER. THATS COOL. BUT ITS NOT REAL.#I just think Misako defenders should be less ‘free my girl she did none of that’ and more ‘free my girl she did all that but the writers#didn’t know what they were doing’#like Misako has great potential but they fumbled. rip.
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idiaa-shroxd · 1 year
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YOUR WRITING IS SO PRETTY I COULD EAT IT. YOU CHARACTERIZE THE CHARACTERS SO WELL TOO!!!
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thank you so much!! ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ happy you think my writing is very pretty!! and also makes me happy you think my characterization was correct.
when writing for characters always take a bit of extra time to ensure they sound good? thinking about having an actual conversation with them for a minute and what they’d do! ♧ personally a big fan of viginettes since that reveals a lot of a character more than mainstory.
Σ('◉⌓◉’) mini (huge) rant within the tags of the way of my process to understand a character!!
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#i’ve been trying to work on characterization with trey for example because in the main story he is relatively nice#but within his viginettes he’s a bit more than that like a slightly smug teaser than boy next door.#the characters tend to have complexity rather than one dimension traits people tend to stick by#which isn’t a bad thing but to start writing it could help kick you off but majority of the time your characters do have many emotions to#aspirations- such as vil being mean BUT that coming with subtle charm of care- he does not derive pleasure from purposefully degrading other#he firmly believes he can see the beauty in everyone if they try and he attempts to get others to apply themselves so they can be pretty#he does not go around like ew you’re ugly go away unless you have a negative attitude like leona who purposefully does not put any effort#but sometimes his pursuit for beauty can go out of hand like with epel or neige but his dorm ssr perfectly illustrates he knows what he does#he does not always explain himself with having epel do heavy lifting which only helps epel improve but he would not tell him this directly#there are other characters i can rant about the way i write. such as sebek being a malleus fanboy#but that was not a central part of his personality to warrant every fic just mentioning malleus each sentence#the best way to learn how to write for him would be looking at his viginette or his event story without tsunotarou!! he is quite a wonderful#-ly designed character but gets overlooked due to his ‘louder’ part of his personality. but he genuinely has captivated me as a character#the best examples for eng players would be during harveston- when he was extremely passionate about what he did with a soft side for his#plush!! he’s a big softie. he’s just very confused because his grandfather openly hates humans. he acknowledges marja and complimented her#he’s not hating humans for no reason but because it was taught to him. he’s trying his best to be what he is but you can tell he is not too#prideful that he would refuse to acknowledge marja just for being a human. in fact in his viginette he HELPS humans with their lumber#though that is technically due to him being confident he can do so compared to a human thanks to being a guard for Malleus but he is quite#happy to be complimented!!-. he is a character with more depth: ceremony viginette next#he tells yuu to just let him handle things since he’s stronger which shows he’s also blunt and says things without thinking about others at#times. but people are MISSING out on fics with sebek yuu and tea bonding over tsunotarou because he has no hostility to those who like#tsunotarou. he is happy to teach!! his other viginette think pe??: lilia tricks him into eating steak with yogurt iirc and he does honestly#it’s disgusting but he trusts lilia and 100% believe the old fae. THE POTENTIAL. authors need to use that?? just lilia messing with him or#how he can sometimes be so gullible you can get him to trust you mixed together with how attached he was to squirrel plush#he’s actually such a cute character.#there’s also Kalim who KNOWS there are bad people. he is not innocent as he knows there are bad people that want him gone#his least favorite food is curry because Jamil got sick for a week after taste testing his food.#Kalim just chooses. he wants to believe the kindness of the world not due to purity but due to the fact he does not want to live in constant#fear. which in itself already makes him more than one dimension. he may seem carefree but there’s room to play with when describing him??…#questions of styx.
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death2you · 1 year
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just finished yakuza 0…
#flashing.#well not Technically. i beat the game like three times and it kept crashing at the credits so im giving up for today :thumbsup: but i saw#the post credit scene. with makoto and the watch😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 im fucking killing myself ... the fact that majima just had 2 give everything#up. literally everybody who cared or interacted with him died in some way and its like. 😟😟 bro what the fuck...#i understand why he felt some typa way toward sagawa and makoto but i feel like they could've done a little bit more with nishitani...#i liked his character though so i GUESS they've done their job but. i wouldve loved having more scenes w/ majima & nishitani before he die#yakuza 0 REALLY loves killing its characters though. nobody was fucking safe!! fuckin tachibana oda nishitani sagawa awano... FUCKING LEE..#i LOVEDDD nishiki though. every emotional scene he was in just slayed so hard. literally stole the show..#the scene in the forest where he tried to spare kiryu and the scene on the boat where he said that he wanted to cross the line together.#NISHIKIYAMA AKIRA YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!#the ending part where they tell everybody's futures really worried me though.. like 😟😟😟 what do you mean nishiki changes. what happened..#when i first saw that i instantly thought about the cliche in black movies where they tell every1's future at the end 😭😭#OVERALL. I REALLY REALLY ENJOYED THE GAME!!!! it wasnt too hard maybe a little bit easy toward the end but such a lovely cast of characters#& the substories and things you could do in sotenbori & kamurocho is really fun ^___^#after i try and Officially beat the game i wanna try and 100% everything.. i might not do Everything but most of it i wanna do#like the five billionaires/stars storylines & stuff... but thats if i can even officially complete the game...#oh god such long tags. anyway.#canon that majima has legendary pussy#95
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chromaticroses · 1 year
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self care is blocking v3 haters ☺️🙏
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astrxealis · 2 years
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fuuta currently having a LOT of innocent votes i am very happy about that
#starry#⋯ ꒰ა milgram ໒꒱ *·˚#but also milgram is so complex that i cannnot be fully happy about it still#yk that post 'you love a character but you'll riot if they don't get punched at least once' yeah that's me w fuuta#but also it's weird to say that bcs i REALLY see myself in him LMFAO (not to an even remotely similar extent tho omg dw </3)#but yeah i understand him and with that said. yeah. yeah#he deserved the first guilty vote but please. i think he really does deserve innocent after that#i just hope he learns to accept his mistake/s.......... but it's still confusing. he's a victim of sorts but to what extent are his 'sins'?#i wonder. truly. i truly wonder.#milgram is so wonderful to me bcs wow. haruka was influnced by muu and him in the 1st and 2nd trials. different#yuno's 'crime' i don't consider a crime and thankfully many don't as well but i wonder too how exactly it is as well?#+ the fact is it happened multiple times and she just doesn't care at all. girlboss love her fr but time and time again and it feels a bit#more eh to me. ultimately though she can do whatever she wants! it's her body after all <3 love yuno fr she's the most normal here lol#fuuta. he is alike to kotoko and the viewers but he is deemed guilty (for the first trial)#perhaps his personality? it's weird to me bcs ofc i can't say for certain yet. but from what i do know#he feels regret. and i think even though he is obviously in denial. i think he knows what he did is wrong. and that he is at least somewhat#at fault. but a lot of people don't understand characters like that it seems! yeah... hmmm#i am obsessed with backdraft. also really happy this is the first time i've been here for a release even if i wish i knew this all earlier#a small theory (just a random one) is that w muu and fuuta? bully and bullied yeah but what if it was different at first#that fuuta was bullied. and muu was the bully (in their respective stories) and then the tables turned#just a small theory! trying to read the lyrics sobbing and also relating it to the other person in the pair#really glad he's being voted mostly innocent thank GOD#haruka is really a dilemma though... even i don't know what would be best. leaning towards guilty#but innocent ultimately? but there's the fact with muu that makes it really...... complex.#anyways really unfair imo kotoko was innocent and fuuta guilty in the first trial. love kotoko and her undercut but it's a lil#of double standards for me! even though i love a girlboss fr <3 </3#tbh saying fuuta 'still doesnt think hes at fault' is stupid imo bcs he shows regret. all this time. regret.#and that shows that he - one way or another - knows he's at fault at least somewhat#fuuta kajiyama
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the-king-of-lemons · 2 years
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stares. angelico on tv.....
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qqqqqqqqqqq0 · 2 months
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#i dont know how to tag it and alas i dont really care enough#i was going to draw something but i am a sloth. a lazy brain-rotting tree-dwelling mammal#but i am really really cute so please let it slide#everyone around me keep saying i should try to work as a florist because of my interest in flowers that suddenly appeared half a year ago#honestly speaking i hated flowers for as long as i have existed before that. they were making me depressed#the whole idea of something cute in your hands that is destined to become a withered rotting thing overnight is nothing but depressing#that i was thinking before i learned how to properly take care of cut flowers. now i can make them stay for a bit longer. like a week or so#it is still sad nevertheless. but I guess my perspective on things has changed as well. i am not talking about flowers#more like about life and death#but its too philosophical for a silly gigantic post in my silly little blog so im not going to talk about it#i like to dry flowers. dunno if I do it properly tho#a few days ago i watched kusuriya no hitorigoto in which characters are compared to flowers! there is a dried flower as well#the dried rose there was described as “still beautiful despite the time and harshness it went through”#but the character the rose was alluding to was merely a walking brainless corpse#and in the context it really made sense. these two contradicting facts in actuality create the complete picture of the character#while binging the series i couldnt help but wonder what flower i feel the most relation to#to no avail#someone has gifted me a rose plant approximately a month ago. you can see it on the photo above#but the thing is. i absolutely suck at taking care of living beings. my experience says exactly that. i also hate dirt#i was so perplexed and afraid of causing harm to the plant I completely abandoned it for quite some time#while thinking about it 24/7. reminded me of the time i still had the executive dysfunction#eventually i had to chop off all the leaves and buds leaving only stems with thorns be to keep the plant alive#it was actually my mother who gave it to me. so it is very precious and i really dont want it to die. but my actions somehow say otherwise#anyway. i came up with the idea that i am not a flower but a budless stem with really sharp thorns on it!#i dont really have enough space for the explanation so its up to you to interpret
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shidoukanae · 3 months
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I would like to make an addendum to this piece with the new chapter out and say that I was wrong about Phillip, he's great, 10/10 he went from being a giant red flag of a character to being genuinely relatable and man do i feel bad about side-eyeing him for that line he said last chapter
Also this chapter finally wrapped up another plot thread I was waiting for it to return to and waaaaaah seeing someone else's POV on Helene is so nice (and we finally got another flashback of OG Helene for like,, the first time in literally forever). Helene being called out as a lonely person who hides her kind feelings behind a cold expression...man suddenly my fondness for Helene is increasing thousandfold
Like literally how the fuck does this manga keep making Helene better and better there's literally nothing disappointing about her character and im STILL shook about it
#The Mighty Extra#no fully colored art today gotta process my feelings over the Helene bits in today's chapter LMAO#Helene continuously getting the best treatment in this story utterly shocks me as someone who is too used to seeing female characters in-#shounen-esque ending up as wasted potential fgkjggfkj#Helene is literally so perfect as a character i love her i love her i love her I LOVE HER I LOVE-#i don't draw Helene enough to show it outwardly but rest assured she occupies 99% of my current brain capacity 24/7#also the way I went from going “oh god why are you like this” to Phillip to “ohhh OHHHH okay no i get it you're very baby” is very funny#that last line makes complete sense for Phillip and it's so cool to see him show off a lot of character development in one go#for a character who is relatively minor i love how the creator made him really understandable and sympathetic like damn#i don't usually care for second lead male LIs but Phillip is surprisingly a strong and endearing character#so much so i think he's now going to forever be embedded in my mind as what a well written character looks like#me before 77: ehhh im not sure if im as excited for this chapter as the next few bc it's probs just gonna end up as#Phillip just being an ass and Fian being jealous about him#this fucking manga every goddamn time i doubt it: hey so want to learn more about Helene and see Phillip get massive character development-#that shows how mature he's gotten but also go back to several plot threads and mysteries and showcase how Lyla is severely in danger and th#war that Fian is starting is something that legitimately needs to happen to keep her safe and also here's a OG Helene flashback that-#you totally haven't been craving for promising to return to why Lyla shipped Helene/Fian in the first place and why she feels guilty about-#taking Fian from Helene (and also suggests Helene deeply loved Fian in the OG timeline which is one big awwwwWWWW and now it kind of-#sucks that Lyla DID rip Fian away from Helene but hey at least Helene has Paris now instead (oh the irony))#fun fact i actually kind of do ship Fian/Helene#at least the OG versions of them#idk seeing how attached Fian is to Lyla and imagining him doing the same to OG Helene is really fucking cute#i am SO FUCKING DESPERATE for the original story behind TME's plot to exist you have no fucking idea#and 78 looks promising as to revealing how OG Helene (/Lyla) reacted to OG Fian's death so like#im begging for next week's chapter already i NEED to get a continuation to that death scene#(also calling it now but if Lyla's real name is actually Helene im going to fucking scream)#(for more reasons than one oh my god)
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vadlings · 9 months
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Represention of Autistic Frustration in Laios Dungeon Meshi
Like many other autistic people, I related strongly to Laios Touden while reading Dungeon Meshi. This post isn't going to spend time disputing whether he displays autistic traits or not—while I could do that, I want to focus on why specifically his portrayal struck a chord with me in a way the writing of most other autistic-coded characters has not.
Disclaimer: as the above suggests, this post is strongly informed by my own experiences as an autistic person, as well as the experiences of my neurodivergent friends with whom I have spoken about this subject. I want to clarify that in no way am I asserting my personal experience to be some Universal Autistic Experience. This post is about why Laios' character feels distinct and significant to me in regard to autistic representation, and while I'm at it, I do feel that I have interesting things to say about autistic representation in media generally. This also got a bit long, so I'm sticking it under a read more. Spoilers for up to the end of chapter 88 below.
The thing that stands out most to me in regard to Laios' characterisation is the open anger he displays when someone points out his inability to read other people. This comes up prominently in his interactions with "Shuro" (Toshiro Nakamoto):
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The frustration pictured above (Laios continuing to physically tussle with Toshiro, using crude language toward him) becomes even more notable when you remember that this is Laios, who, outside of these interactions, is not easily fazed and often exists as a lighthearted contrast to the rest of the cast. Then we get to Laios' nightmare.
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In Falin's words: "Nightmares love emotional wounds. Wounds you hold in your heart. Things that give you stress, or things that were traumatic for you. They aggravate memories like that and cause the dreamer to have terrible dreams." (chapter 42, page 10.) (damn. i'm properly citing for this post and everything.)
Thus, Laios' nightmare establishes an important fact: even if he is unable to recognise social blunders while he's making them, he's at least subconsciously aware that other people operate on a different wavelength to him, and that he's an outsider in many of his social circles (both past and present). His dream-father's disparaging words stress the impact this has had upon his ability to live up to the expectations set out for him, and we also get a panel of kids who smirk at him (presumably former bullies to some degree). Toshiro's appearance only hammers home how much Laios is still both humiliated and angered by his misunderstanding of their relationship.
I've thought a lot about anger as concomitant to the autistic experience. When autistic representation portrays ostracization, it's generally from an angle of the autistic character being upset at how conforming to neurotypical norms doesn't come easily to them; as a result, they express a desire to 'get better' at meeting neurotypical standards, a desire to become more 'normal' (whether the writing implies this is a good thing or not). In contrast, not once does Laios go, "I need to perform better in my social interactions, and try to care less about monsters, because that's what other people find weird." His frustration is directed outward rather than inward, and as a result, it's the people around him who are framed as nonsensical.
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The Winged Lion starts delineating Laios' anger, and Laios' reaction is to think to himself, "It can sense all my thoughts, huh?" (chapter 88, page 16.) This is the scene that really resonated with me. I'm not saying I have never felt the desire to conform to neurotypical norms that is borne from insecurity, but primarily, I know that I don't want to work toward becoming 'normal'—I don't want to change myself for people who follow rules I find nonsensical. It's the difference between, "Oh god, why can't I get it," and, "WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT?" (phrasing here courtesy of my friend Miles @dogwoodbite). And for me personally, Dungeon Meshi is the first time I've seen this frustration and the resultant voluntary isolation from other people portrayed in media so candidly. Laios' anger is not downplayed or written to be easily palatable, either.
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The culmination of Laios' frustrations in this scene wherein we learn that Laios has fantasised about "a pack of monsters attacking a village" drives home just how alienated he really feels. I need not go into his wish to become a monster himself, redolent of how many autistic people identify/have identified with non-humans to some degree as a result of a percieved disconnect from society (when I was younger, I wanted to be a robot. I still kind of do.)
Obviously, wishing death upon other people is a weighty thing, but the unfiltered nature of this page is what deeply resonated with me. The Winged Lion is laying Laios' deepest and most transgressive desires bare, and they are desires that are a product of lifelong ostracization by others (whether intentional or unintentional). This is the brand of anger I'm familiar with, and that my neurodivergent friends express being familiar with, but that I haven't seen portrayed in writing so explicitly before—in fact, it surprised me because most well-meaning autistic representation I've experienced veers toward infantilisation in trying make the autistic character's struggles easy for neurotypicals to sympathise with.
Let's also not neglect the symbolism inherent to Laios' daydream. "A pack of monsters attacking a village". Functionally, monsters are Laios' special interest—he percieves everything first and foremost through his passion for monsters. His daydream of monsters attacking—killing—humans, is fundamentally a daydream of the world he understands (monsters) overthrowing the world that is so illogical to him, that has repeatedly shunned him (other people). I joked to my friends that it's an autistic power fantasy, and it actually sort of is. And in it, his identity is aligned with that of the monsters, while his anger manifests in a palpable dissociation from the rest of humanity. This is one manga page. It's brief. It's also very, very raw to me. I think about it often.
To conclude, I love Laios Dungeon Meshi. This portrayal of open frustration in an autistic character meant a lot to me, and I hope I've sufficiently outlined why. Also, feel free to recommend media with autistic representation in the notes if you've read this far—I would really like to see if there is more of this nature. Thank you for reading. I'm very tired and should probably sleep now.
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