#a bit concerned if the tag function would be functionally the same

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

"rebug" is so cute maybe i will start using cohost...

[miabebe]

Camp Seventeen: Chapter 1

Pairing - Afab!reader x ot13 (Reader x Seungcheol, Reader x Soonyoung for this Ch)

Word count - 13K

Genre - Greek Demigod AU! We’ve got crack, smut (tags for the chapter are under the cut), fluff , angst, hurt, comfort, all of it in this series, buckle up!

Chapter summary - It's been a week since you stepped foot in Camp Seventeen - as you navigated the days trying to wrap your head around the 13 boys, one's touch and another's voice start to become a bit too bothersome....

A/n - And the series has finally kickstarted! Please read the prologue before this! Big thanks to @okiedokrie and @c-oupsie for helping beta read this, y'all are the sweetest <3

I do have a taglist so comment on this post to be added! And if you enjoyed reading, please don't forget to leave feedback in the comments or tags - we've got lots of chapters to go and hearing thoughts really helps <3

Smut warnings - mutual masturbation, fingering, use of a very questionable dildo, is this considered cheating? Idk it's all blur here, jerking off, cum feeding, cum eating and I hope that's all?

“Fucking hell.” 

You mumbled, waking up the same way you had been for the last one week - startled and nearly jumping off your bed. 

While most people began their days to the ringing of alarm clocks (or roosters if they preferred the countryside), you regularly woke up to the sound of Seungcheol’s eagle screeching in your ear. 

Turning your head, you glanced at Zephyr perched on the window before it gave you a short nod of acknowledgement and flew off into the darkness. Yes darkness, because unlike most people, your day also began at 4 fucking am in the morning. 

Groaning and stretching, you sat up, holding back the large yawn that was threatening to pull you back to sleep. If Zephyr was here to wake you up, that meant you were late yet again and you hated that - you had done too many walks of shame to the training field and were in no mood to be conspicuously stared at by 13 boys as you stumbled over, carrying all your gear. 

Knowing you didn’t have enough time to drop by the washroom, you popped a mint and sprayed some deodorant before quickly grabbing your things and running out into the darkness. 

The sun was just starting to peek from between the mountains as the House Of Zeus became smaller and smaller behind you. Although you had a long list of concerns living with Seungcheol, an unbeatable advantage was how close his residence was to the training grounds. Still, you could somehow never manage to be punctual. By the time you reached, you were 15 minutes late and Seokmin had already begun the morning drills. 

“Two laps around the field newbie.” He muttered as you walked past him, habituated to receiving the same punishment everyday. 

While you begrudgingly jogged around the perimeter of the grounds, your mind wandered to everything and nothing that happened over the past few days. 

Life at camp so far had been…. strange. 

You would be lying if you said you were already accustomed to life here. You most certainly were not. And forget a week, not even a year could prepare you for what living in the wild was like. 

To begin with, there was no electricity here. That’s right, no lights, no air conditioning, no Internet, nothing. 

Member’s began their days at sunrise and ended it as sunset - after all nothing much could be done in the dim illuminance of the fire torches scattered all around the base. So of course for you, who functioned best from 1 to 3am, this archaic way of life was highly inconvenient. 

The only place that had even a trace of something technologically advanced was the Great Hall - some of the more brainy boys had managed to set up a small circuit for kitchen appliances, laundry machines, a small charging station and that was about it. Rumor was that Wonwoo's residence had its own circuit too, but no one could really confirm that intel - it was as though none of them had ever ventured into the House of Hades. 

And as though the lack of scientific inventions was not enough, showers…..were communal. Apparently it made more sense that water lines were directed to one common bath house rather than to each individual house. For them it was definitely more convenient to have the baths, jacuzzi and sauna all in one place, but for you that meant waiting everyday after training for the whole lot of them to be done washing up before you could do the same, with some privacy. 

Oh and speaking of privacy, in the last week you spent here, you had come to realize that in this all-boys-greek-mythology world, it was privacy that was the real myth. Obviously after years of living together the boys were close but sometimes, they were perhaps a tad bit too close - like the time you had walked in on Mingyu and Seokmin boxing in just their underwear or when Soonyoung and Seungkwan sat right next to you, loudly comparing their dick sizes. You usually drew the line at phallic discussions.

The one place on camp that perhaps gave you some alone time and space away from the mess that the boys were, was the library. Considering you had shifted the last year of your University to an online study, you had a shit ton of assignments to complete and that was the only place you were able to get anything done at all. It was like the boys didn’t even know the study building existed - no one cared enough to go there so yeah, maybe occasionally, you also allowed yourself to let down your hair, sing in your horribly off pitch voice and dance to beats from your walkman. Outside those four walls it was impossible for you to feel even a little peace and quiet. 

Surprisingly, not even the temple, which one would think would be a place of sanctity, was spared from the deviant actions of the boys. The altar was less a place of worship and more a place for bargains and exchange deals - it was the only way to connect to the gods, aka, the parents in Olympus. 

You had come to learn that just like the human world, not all God parents loved their kids the same - some members were regularly showered with gifts and goods, others would not receive so much as a response. You found yourself falling in the second half. Your father never cared for you in the human world and apparently, neither did your mother. 

Brushing off the thoughts of the woman you had thought was dead for the last 25 years, you wrapped up your punishment and joined the boys for morning exercises, ready to start yet another tiring day. 

“All done!” 

Joshua gave you a sweet smile as he stepped out of the bath house, rubbing the towel into his wet hair. Thanking him softly, you walked into the showers, stripped out of your clothes and turned on the hot water. The mud that Minghao had you rolling in today as part of combat training washed off as the heat worked to soothe your aching muscles. Lathering shampoo onto your scalp, you finally felt yourself relaxing, letting your favorite citrus smell take over your senses. Outside the bath house, you could hear Seungcheol raising his voice, instructing all the members to head for breakfast, loud footsteps following his words. 

Choi Seungcheol….. Living with him so far had been frustrating. 

When you first stepped into his residence, you told him that you’ve always lived alone so it might take you a while to adjust to living with someone and Seungcheol seemed to inwardly decide that giving you space was his life's purpose. After that, whenever you appeared before him, he politely greeted you and walked away. Whenever you stood as much as two feet near him he took a step back, like he didn't want to intrude on your personal space. Whenever you sat in his vicinity, he excused himself stating he'll give you some ‘me-time’. 

You wish he knew how much you were in fact craving for the exact opposite - You wanted Choi Seungcheol. God you so badly wanted him. 

It wasn't like you could just make a move on him because 

1.Hell no you didn't want him or anyone in this camp to realise just how (as Jihoon called it) thirsty you were and 

2. Seungcheol wasn’t just anybody, he was the leader. Members bowed to him when he walked by, even the companions, specially Patricia who listened to no one, obeyed him - anything and everything on this camp premises held him at the highest regard. You couldn't just walk up to such a man and tell him, “hey, you're hella hot and I'm hella attracted to you, I wish you would ravage me.”???? 

All you could hope was that Seungcheol somehow approached you on his own but that seemed questionable given the clear line he had drawn between the two of you. 

The one person you wished would actually draw a line was the first one to always cross it - Yoon Jeonghan. You knew he and Seungcheol were the same age and that they were close but you didn't understand just how close they had to be for Athena's son to barge into the leaders residence whenever he wanted? Even at times you were changing your clothes or lying casually on the bed in your night dresses that barely covered anything. 

The most infuriating part was Jeonghan did not ever apologize - he'd just laugh and walk away and you wanted to do nothing more than throw a shoe at him. For some reason he enjoyed getting on your nerves, he enjoyed making you angry and it wasn’t just you - in the last one week, it was evident that Jeonghan was a pain in everyone's ass but somehow they all adored him? You didn't get why they all seemed to love a man who always liked to pull their leg, never leaving any chance to fool them with his wit - you assumed they just preferred to be on his good side so all his harmless fun remained harmless. 

Even Joshua, who was one of the sweetest people you knew, seemed to have a soft spot for Jeonghan. 

When you asked him why he said before Jeonghan joined camp, Seungcheol was very uptight and ran the camp like a military barrack - it was the former’s pranks and carefree attitude that allowed members to be at ease. Though he was talking about Jeonghan, you knew what Joshua’s words truly reflected were his own good nature. He just seemed like the kind of guy who could do no wrong - like a pure, sweet soul. The days after you first arrived at camp it was Joshua who showed you around, guided you with everything and tried to make you feel at home. No one else really tried to get to know you as a person - they were all more interested about how and why you landed in their camp. 

It also helped that Joshua was extremely pleasant on the eyes - at times when you didn’t want to feel overburdened by thoughts, you loved to sit next to him and watch him work on his little craft for the day or write that new novel of his. Yes he was good looking and yes when he smiled, you felt dazzled, but it was his sweet disposition that made you choose his company over the other members.

On the days he would go off to the city for some work, the next best place you found yourself was on Jun’s farm. Not that he was particularly nice to you or anything, Jun was…. quiet. He seemed to always do his thing, not bothering anyone, only speaking when required. When the evenings rolled around, you liked to take Natalie on a walk to visit the man she had a big fat crush on. Honestly though, who wouldn’t have a crush on someone like Jun - though he was the one working in the fields, it was you who was sweating, just watching him. 

Although you did want to talk to him, try to get to know him a little bit, you chose not to - as someone who enjoyed the peace and quiet, you decided to let at least some member offer you that because guys like Soonyoung sure as hell could not. 

Soonyoung was…….. A teenager stuck in a man’s body. Oh yeah he was hot as hell - just the nice build with muscles popping in all the right places. He knew how to dress better than most people on camp too - if you had seen him somewhere else, you would have thought he was one of those cool kids you always saw on campus. 

But that image of him was destroyed the moment he sat on a Leopard and insisted it was a tiger. Over the last week, that was the predominant discussion between the two of you. That and his incessant flirting. Or rather, attempt to flirt. All he came across was cheesy, kinda humorous and loud. Extremely loud. 

Wonwoo on the other hand was as silent as the night. 

Most of the time you didn’t even know if and when he was around, it was like he was non-existent. The members too didn’t seem to bother much with what he did - you noticed he didn’t wash up with the others, often hitting the showers after you were done. He never came for any meals on time, he always stayed back, even after all the members dispersed for the day - he just seemed to function however he liked and no one questioned him. He never questioned you either - Not once did Wonwoo ever attempt to make conversation with you or even meet your eye. It was like he couldn’t care less and that wasn't very pleasant for you. 

Someone who seemed to care a lot though, was Jihoon. Oh Jihoo was quiet too, but somehow he had his eyes on everything. Everything you did, everything you saw, even everything you felt seemed to find its way into Jihoon’s radar - he just knew. It terrified you that he was able to see right through you but the good thing about Jihoon was that he generally kept his mouth shut and wasn’t too keen on discussing his observations. Regardless, his presence made you feel extremely conscious and a part of you often tried to not be alone with him, lest he could read your mind or something. 

As the last of the soap rinsed off you, you turned off the water and grabbed your towel, patting yourself down. Your body was sore and aching all over - Minghao said that was because you were not used to such combat routines and in a few months time you would get used to it but you weren’t really sure if you had it in you to tolerate all this for that long. 

You also still had no idea what exactly these skills were needed for but from the conversations you overheard, it sounded like some sort of competition? That was both unlikely and terrifying cause who really competed with swords and spears anymore but if it was true, then what the actual hell??? Minghao said he didn’t want to scare you with the details just yet and would explain everything when the time came. For now, you were to focus on building your core strength and basic self defense, in case the camp is ever attacked…. Yes, cause that is less scary, way to make one feel better. 

But that was the thing about Minghao - he did not have the habit of sugar coating things. He was honest with his feedback no matter how rude it sounded and though sometimes it did make you feel like shit, he also made sure to push you to do better. You knew if there was anyone you could approach for a real, unbiased opinion, it was him. 

The same could not be said for Mingyu though - everything that came out of his mouth was saccharine sweet to the point it actually annoyed you. There was no doubt he was a nice guy - he was handsome, goofy, really good with his hands, really really good with his brain but the same didn’t extend to his mouth. His style of getting your attention was to ceaselessly seek validation and unfortunately for him, you weren’t really someone who was great with words of affirmation. When he was not trying so hard to please though, Mingyu was truly the biggest sweetheart with the fattest, most caring heart you had ever come across - the kind one wanted to wrap in bubble wrap and tuck away safely. 

Seokmin too fell in the same category - the type who was so precious, it was hard to believe people like him even existed. The only reason you were able to survive these few weeks of training despite coming late was because Seokmin had your back every time Seungcheol wasn’t watching - allowing you to take breathers, overlooking the fact that you were doing less sets than you were supposed to, things of that sort. He was always sweet and calm, giving you soft smiles and sweet eye crinkles. 

With his members though, Seokmin was a whole different person - he was unnaturally loud, extremely energetic and all over the place. The problem was, you didn’t know which of the two was the real him. You weren’t really sure why but something told you Seokmin wasn’t the man he seemed like and a strange curiosity coursed through you every time you interacted with him. 

Seungkwan on the other hand was the exact opposite, he was exactly what he seemed like - always annoyed, unabashedly honest and unnecessarily snarky. In a way, you understood him - Seungkwan had the habit of taking on many things at once and keeping him unbelievably busy. In university, you too were like this - you took extra modules, signed up for multiple clubs, worked an internship alongside a couple of part time jobs and more. You liked to be occupied, to not allow yourself the room to think about what your life could have been otherwise. Maybe that’s why you saw yourself in Mr. Busy Boo - always roaming around with that bluetooth in his ear, attending some meeting or the other, frequently heading to the city to get work done - ‘rest’ was just not a word in his dictionary.

But even amidst all this business and even though his automated response was to snap back at people, he still managed to bond really well with the members despite having joined the camp only a few months before you had. It was like they all needed him to be their constant reality check. 

The one who you thought required his presence more than anyone was Hansol. A man like him whose entire personality was avoidant needed someone like Seungkwan who would drag him into everything forcibly. Hansol wasn’t like Wonwoo, who was unbothered, couldn’t care less and pretended like you didn’t exist. Hansol was well aware of your presence and chose to actively avoid you every time - if you remembered right, there were even instances when he had practically run away from you. Something was just weird about that guy. 

Perhaps the most normal of them all was Chan - actually he was just as loud and consistently blabbering much like some of the others but something about him made you feel very fond of him. Sure he was the same age as you but he felt like a child, always babied by his members, always grinning like a cheshire cat. And consequently, you too naturally babied him and Chan too enjoyed it - the two of you were perfectly content with your dynamic. 

If only you got that same feeling with everyone else……

As you grabbed your things and stepped out of the bath house fully dressed, Wonwoo was standing outside with a towel slung on his shoulder, scrolling through his phone. Without so much as looking at you, he walked past you, into the shower room, loudly shutting the door behind him. 

“Can you ever be on time?” Jeonghan sighed, handing you a plate of pancakes as you looked around realizing everyone was nearly done with breakfast. “It’s not my job to wait your table every morning.” 

“Until you lot arrange for me to have my own shower,”  You grabbed an apple, taking a bite into it as you sat at the extra long dining table. “I’m afraid this is exactly how late I will be everyday.” 

“You know what they say sweetie,” Soonyoung whisked the apple from your hand, taking a bite of his own. “If you can’t beat the crowd, join the crowd.”

You looked at him exasperatedly, knowing that he was just talking out of his ass. Maybe if it was someone else you'd be offended but seeing his childlike face and full cheeks, you were only mildly amused. 

“I'm more of the ‘don't join the crowd, let it follow you’ kinds.”

“Oh I'd follow you anywhere Y/n.” He sighed dreamily as you laughed, taking a bite out of your pancakes that were still too hot. 

“How about you start following your own girlfriend instead Kwon?” Minghao walked around the kitchen island shooting Soonyoung an unimpressed look. “Rumour is that she was seen outside the Dreamboys Disco and we all know exactly what one goes there for.”

“She's not my girlfriend anymore.” Soonyoung muttered. “We broke up.”

“Weren't you just planning an anniversary trip two days ago?” Seokmin looked at him quizzically. 

“Yeah then we argued over a location and she said it was better we broke up for a while.” 

“This is what, your third breakup this month?”

“Fifth.” He whispered sadly in a way that made you want to pat his back. “Sixth actually, if you count the one that lasted for 3 hours.” 

“I'll never understand these on again off again kind of relationships.” Seungkwan clicked his tongue, hurriedly grabbing a banana, balancing all the files in his hand. “The only thing it screams to me is disrespect.” 

“Okay Mr. Seung-I-am-the-son-of-Hera-and-marriage-is-the-way-of-life-Kwan” Soonyoung rolled his eyes. “Not every traditional relationship is healthy, and not everything unconventional is toxic.”

“Yes, except yours is both unconventional and toxic.” Seungkwan scoffed, raising his hand before Soonyoung retaliated. “I can’t care enough right now, tiger boy, I’m already late. We can reschedule your relationship counseling session sometime later.” 

“How about never?” Soonyoung grumbled as Seungkwan rushed off, attending a call on his bluetooth. “Who’s idea was it for him to join the camp again?” 

“Mine.” Seungcheol slid onto the seat across you, raising an eyebrow. “Is there a problem?” 

“Nope.” Soonyoung shook his head fast. “Absolutely not.”

Smirking just a little, Seungcheol turned to you, sliding a couple pieces of chicken breast off his plate onto yours. “You need to eat more Y/n, that little won’t last you through the day.” 

“Same goes for you..” Jeonghan mumbled, placing a bottle of protein shake near Seungcheol who gave him a grateful smile. From the corner of your eye, you saw Jun increase the portion of chicken to buy on the huge shopping list scribbled on the white board.

If there was anything you absolutely loved about this camp, it was the brotherhood. No matter what each member was like individually, as a team, they loved and cared about each other immensely. You weren’t really sure if and when they could extend the same for you but having lived alone nearly all your life, a part of you craved to be one of them, to be cared for like that. 

“I won’t be able to make it for the meeting tonight.” Wonwoo, as usual, strolled in much later than you and no one, as usual, had any complaints with that. In fact rather uncharacteristically nicely, Jeonghan handed him breakfast, shooting him a worried look.

“Why, what’s wrong?” 

“I need to drop by the headquarters today.” He sighed, sitting a couple of seats away from you. “There’s an important official coming and apparently my presence is needed.” 

“Will you be back by nightfall?” Seungcheol asked, looking concerned. You knew why he was worried - if Wonwoo wasn’t there on camp grounds at night that meant all the members had to take their places on the perimeter to guard overnight. Sleep was not an option that night. 

“Yeah,” Wonwoo replied, not looking up. “I will just have to miss out on the meeting for the lawsuit.” 

Right that meeting. The one you, Jeonghan and Wonwoo, had been trying to have for days now to sort out the biggest mess of your life. 

“Shouldn’t be a problem, Nonu.” Mingyu patted his shoulder, shooting you a wink. “Y/n has other plans with me today anyways.” 

You frowned confused as Mingyu clarified. “You were going to finalise your house plan so I could start construction, remember?” 

Oh yeah, you had that too. 

“Awesome, then I can go to the city today.” Jeonghan clapped cheerily, taking his apron off. 

“You don’t work today though…..” Jun muttered, looking at the shortage in the lunch boxes he had packed. 

“Don’t worry about food, I got some friends to meet over lunch.” The older man shot him a two-fingered salute before jogging out of the dining hall, earning Seungcheol’s tired sigh. 

“I can never keep up with him-” 

“Cab leaves in five!” Chan shouted, poking his head through the window. 

The members around immediately stuffed the last of their breakfast, grabbing their things hurriedly, rushing out to get the front seat in Chan’s car. Afterall, the ones behind had to squeeze to fit themselves in and the one hour bumpy ride to the city was not fun. From their collective groans though you could tell Jeonghan had called shotgun - the asshole was lucky as usual. 

Seungcheol downed the last of his breakfast with a fond laugh before turning to you. 

“Have a nice day Y/n, I’ll see you later.” 

You tried not to smile back at him too widely as your eyes followed him leaving the premises. When you turned back to your meal, you could feel a set of eyes keenly looking at you. Looking up, you saw Jihoon staring at you with a small smirk, his expression all knowing. Gulping, you excused yourself from there. 

You stared at the blueprint before you, humming skeptically. 

“Are you still not happy with the design?” Mingyu sighed, crossing his arms. 

“I don’t know.” You drawled. “Something about it feels….off.” 

“Something about your own design that you made for your own house feels off?” 

“Gyu.” Joshua chastised, standing up from the couch and walking over to you. “Artists second guess their work all the time, have some patience.” 

“I am patient.” The bigger man pointed. “But she’s unbelievably indecisive.” 

“I know, I’m sorry.” You looked up at Mingyu guiltily. “It’s just, I’m wondering if having a bathroom in my residence is a good idea or if I should just have another small one built by the bath house? I mean think about it - my residence is so far from the training grounds and the dining hall, if I had to walk all this distance everyday, I’m only going to be more late-” 

“I get it.” Mingyu patted your back. “I get your concerns but the sooner we finalize this, the sooner I can get to building it and the sooner you can get out of Seungcheol’s house and into your own space.” 

Ahhh. 

Right. 

A part of you was thankful that Jihoon wasn’t a part of this discussion otherwise he would’ve seen right through your subtle attempts to delay this process. You didn’t want to be an inconvenience on purpose but….. You were just a girl and you wanted to get to know Cheol a little better. It didn’t help that he was barely ever at home, leaving at the crack of dawn for training and only returning very late at night, after he finished attending night school doing that stupid astronomy degree of his. The only time you ever got with him was on Sunday because members did not train on Sundays - everyone was free to do whatever they wanted. And you wanted to do Cheol. 

So far you only had the chance to spend one weekend alone with him and maybe just maybe if you pushed your house construction a little you’d have the chance for another weekend or two. Then perhaps, you’d be able to take this unresolved, unnecessary tension with him somewhere. 

“How about you take a few days and work on your plan again Y/n?” Joshua rolled up the large paper carefully, handing it to you. “Whenever you’re ready let me and Mingyu know - we’ll try and figure out the materials, budget, feasibility and all that.” 

“It’s times like this I miss Jeonghan’s brain.” Mingyu clicked his tongue, disappointed. “Where did he say he was off to again?” 

“When does he ever tell us?” Joshua mumbled. “He should be back by nightfall though. Jun said he needed help with the fertilizer composition and Han told him he would help.” 

“Wow, he’s capable of being useful.” You rolled your eyes, stashing the blueprint into your bag. Mingyu and Joshua laughed, amused.

“Jeonghan is always useful..” 

“We still haven’t managed to figure out a thing about my lawsuit and my hearing is in a few weeks-” 

“Han and Wonwoo will sort it out Y/n, don’t worry.” Joshua rubbed your arm comfortingly. “They’re the best one can ask for.” 

“Yeah except I can’t seem to ask Jeonghan for anything cause he’s a little bitch or ask Wonwoo anything because for that he would need to realise that I exist and I don’t think he does.” 

“Wonwoo hyung is….” Mingyu trailed off. “He’s a little hard to understand. Just give him some time. Once you figure him out, you’ll know why he’s like this.”

Exasperated, you shook your head and walked away. Time was the one thing you never seemed to have. 

Like always, as the sun began setting you glanced out of the window of the library catching sight of the varied hues in the sky. On the camp ground you could see Mingyu riding his big mechanical bull, lighting up the fire torches around for the night. Pulling out the lighter from your bag, you stared at the candles stacked in the middle of the table. 

Sighing you cast the lighter aside and snapped your fingers, watching the flames come to life in your hand, dancing across your palm. Stretching your fingers, and moving your hand around, you watched the orange yellow light just glide across your skin like it was a pretty accessory and not literal fire that should have obliterated your hand by now. 

Fire never did burn you - how could it when a mere thought could make it come alive in your hands. You first discovered this when you were 16 and accidentally dunking your hand in a pot full of boiling water did not leave so much as a scar. Even though you were unscathed you roamed around for a few days with a fully bandaged hand - the world would have thought you were some sort of freak otherwise. Over the years you tried to play with fire in many ways, just to test your limits, just to see how far you could go and each time, much to your own dismay, the limit didn’t exist. Each time proved just how much you didn’t fit in the world, just how much you deserved to be alone because you really were a freak. 

But that was until a few weeks ago. 

Until you discovered it wasn’t the inability to burn that was the true madness - it was your ability to create fire itself. 

From there things spiraled. You learnt you weren’t the anomaly but a part of a rather large group of such circus acts - a world completely hidden from your own. In a cascade of events you were thrown into camp seventeen out of no will of your own and now, this was your life, this was your world. 

Holding your flaming hand over your redrawn sketches you glanced at them. Thanks to the two boys yet again canceling the meeting with you, you found yourself working in the library earlier than usual, exhausted by the time the sun set. As you debated between working a little more or heading back, the door opening with a slow creak made the decision for you - if it was windy outside, it was most likely going to rain and you didn’t want to stay long enough to get drenched. Quickly dousing the flame and blowing out the candles, you grabbed all your things and saw your way out. 

In the darkness, the camp was quiet as usual. You figured most of the members must’ve retired to their residences for the night and when you reached the House of Zeus, surprisingly, so had Seungcheol. 

“Y-you’re home.” You stuttered, watching the shirtless man, doing sit ups in the middle of the living room in the dim golden light of the paraffin lamps. 

Evidently Seungcheol hadn’t expected your presence so soon either because at the sound of your voice, he got up with a jerk, pulling a muscle in his abdomen. 

“Cheol oh my god-” 

“You’re early.” He got up wincing, holding the side of his trunk. “I’m sorry I should have been doing this in my room-” 

“I mean, the whole house is yours-” 

“There’s a heavy rain forecast today, not really much astronomy I can do-” 

“Yeah I came back because of the rain too-” 

“Yeah me too….” Seungcheol trailed off realising how silly he sounded. 

Grabbing his shirt from the floor, he attempted to put it on, groaning miserably at the pain shooting up his abdomen. Watching him struggle, you quickly dropped your things and tried to reach for him to help out, but just as your finger barely grazed over his skin, he stumbled back like he was electrocuted, pushing your hand away. 

“Don’t touch me.” 

“Cheol…. “ You frowned, confused. “I was just trying to help-” 

 “Seungcheol.” He corrected. “And I don’t need your help Y/n. Please just…. stay away from me.” 

You blinked at a complete loss of words at his unwarranted behaviour. Unsure about how you felt, you grabbed your bag from the floor, turned on your heel and walked out silently, the same way you came in. 

As usual, bad luck had followed you on your way out. 

Not only was your life miserable, the weather too decided to be a pain in your ass and it started drizzling the moment you stepped out of Seungcheol’s house. 

Even though the water was cold and you were shivering, you took off in the rain. You needed to get as far away from here as you could. 

You were such a fool. You should have known that Seungcheol wasn’t being nice or giving you your space, on the contrary he was keeping his distance, putting you at an arm’s length. It was evident today - not only was he uninterested, but somehow it seemed like your very presence was disturbing him in some way. 

And there was you who was always desperately wishing for the smallest interaction with him.. What an idiot. 

Hugging yourself, you walked further down the cobbled path. Tomorrow you were going to finalise your house plan with Mingyu and get out of Cheol’s house as soon as possible. But as much as you wanted to avoid him and pull yourself away, a part of you was still aching at the loss of something that you believed had a lot of potential. Why did it have to be him of all people? Why couldn’t it have been someone like Mingyu - he was hot as hell and unlike his leader, he actively showed interest in you all the time. 

As you raised your head, Mingyu’s house loomed before you and your feet, as if they had a brain of their own, took you towards his mini mansion of a residence. That was until you saw Jihoon stepping out of the same place and instinctively took a swift u-turn. 

The last person who could see you right now was Jihoon - that man would read you like an open book and know exactly how fucking embarrased you were. Hoping to god he didn’t spot you, you quickly ran, entering the nearest gate for temporary refuge, till you got out of his sight. 

But in hindsight, perhaps falling in Jihoon’s line of vision was better than the situation you had landed yourself in….. You weren’t really sure who’s house you had trespassed until the low growling expressed just how much his companion disliked it. 

Horang. 

Realising you had quite literally thrown yourself into the den of a wild cat, you froze, praying that it didn’t notice you and you could slip out as easily as you slipped in. But before you could do anything, a hand grabbed you quickly, leading you into the neighbouring cottage, shutting the door behind you. 

“Are you insane?” Soonyoung looked at you confused, shaking the water off his hair. “Why would you enter Horang’s enclosure unless you wanted to be ripped apart.” 

“I didn’t know….” You rubbed your arms, generating heat. “I was just….trying to escape the rain.” 

“You should have knocked on my door then..” He muttered, disappearing for a split second, returning with a towel in his hand. “Horang isn’t used to you yet so please don’t venture near my tiger in my absence - he only listens to me.” 

You tried not to hyperfixate on the inappropriate labeling of Horang in the off chance that an annoyed Soonyoung threw you back out. Instead, you accepted his towel, patting yourself dry, still shivering a little. With his hands on your shoulder, Soonyoung led you to the fireplace, guiding you to sit on the couch across. As you did, you glanced around his residence.

This was the first time you were in Soonyoung’s place and in all honesty, it looked much like that designated room in college dorms where all the parties happened - he had party lights everywhere, streamers hanging from the ceiling and techno music softly playing over the speakers. 

When you turned back to him, Soonyoung held out a christmas mug, with a grin. “Mulled wine.”

“I can’t.” You shook your head although in the headspace you were in, you could really use some alcohol. “I won’t be able to wake up on time tomorrow.” 

“It’s not like you’ll be on time even if you were sober.” He chuckled, immediately regretting his words as you narrowed your eyes at him. “You’re in the House of Dionysus. This is literally the only hot drink I have to offer.” 

Sighing you took it from him, desperate to have something warm coursing through your body after all that coldness you experienced earlier. 

“So, why are you out and about in the rain?” Soonyoung sank into the couch beside you, sipping a drink of his own. 

“I….just needed to be away from that house for a while.” You mumbled, taking a sip. 

“Why? Has Seungcheol gotten overbearing already?” 

“It’s not him….” 

“It’s always him.” Soonyoung sighed. “But it’s not his fault. He just has a lot of pressure on him to be perfect as a leader, you know? That sort of thing gets to you.” 

“I know. It’s just….. “ You sighed, not knowing how to explain things to him. “Forget it, I don’t want to talk about it.” 

“No, tell me.” He whined making you turn to him, finally noticing he was fully dressed from head to toe like he was about to march right into a party. 

“Are you going somewhere?” 

“Work?” Soonyoung stated like it was obvious. “Don’t tell me you forgot what I do.” 

You looked at him sheepishly. “I’ve been here for just a week Kwon and there’s thirteen of you so I’m sorry if it’s taking me some time.” 

“Forgiven.” He nodded amused. “I own the Midnight club in the city centre.” 

“Right, that big Demigod rave place.” 

“No, the Midnight club is for humans. There’s another club hidden behind it, After Hours - That’s for Demigods exclusively.” 

You let out an oh of realization as Soonyoung continued. 

“Business usually runs fine on its own but I try to drop by from time to time to just remind everyone who the boss is.” 

“I heard there’s a life size portrait of you behind the DJ booth to do the same.” 

“Obituaries are portraits too.” He rolled his eyes. “I need to let them know I am alive, kicking and always in charge.” 

You shook your head laughing. “Well then aren’t you getting late? You should probably leave by now-” 

“I don’t think I’m going.” He mumbled, downing his drink in one shot, red slowly creeping on his face. “Not in the mood.” 

Glancing at him silently, you just blinked at him. You knew guys like Soonyoung could not keep a thing in them - he would share whatever was bothering him without you even asking in three, two, on-

“The intel is that my ex is going to be there tonight.” 

“Ahh.” You crossed your feet on his couch, settling in. “And you don’t want to see her?” 

“I don’t want to see her with other men.” He gripped his mug tight. “With the news out that she’s single, guys will be falling all over her and I know she’s going to play along just to make me jealous.” 

“Well two can play that game right? You can do the same?” 

“What makes you think there are girls fawning all over me?” 

“Do you just want to hear me say you’re hot and that you could pull if you wanted to?” You cocked your head at him. “Cause I can. I have a little wine in me so I can use it as an excuse.” 

Soonyoung laughed, throwing his head back. “No I know I’m hot, but do you know who she is?” 

You shook your head, drinking up more. 

“Aphrodite’s daughter, the femme fatales of the demigod world - boys want her and girls don’t want to mess with her. No one is going to so much as look at her ex, forget trying to hit on me.” 

“Huh.” You pondered, the cogwheels in your brain turning. “Well technically, no one in the human world knows her so I’m sure one of them will-” 

“There’s no point of that. She knows I won’t go for a human.” 

“Why is that?” 

Soonyoung stared back at you a little hard before a small smirk formed on his face. “Y/n, are you a virgin?” 

You blinked, breaking out into a laugh. “I sure am drunk cause I seem to have missed why this intrusive question is relevant now?” 

Taking your empty mug from you, Soonyoung filled it up again from the pot. “What I mean is, demigods don’t sleep with humans sweetie.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because we’re half gods, do you think humans can really satisfy us?” Soonyoung raised his eyebrows. “Mortals can’t keep up with our sex drive.” 

As you looked confused, the smirk returned back to Soonyoung’ face. “Which is why I asked. If you haven’t realised that a mortal man can’t pleasure you, then either you’ve never had sex……. or you’ve never had an orgasm.” 

“I don’t have to answer that.” 

“Come on, humor me.” 

“Maybe I’m starting to get why your girlfriend dumped your annoying ass.” 

Soonyoung pouted, feigning hurt as you rolled your eyes. 

“So now if you want to get her back, you won’t be hit on by another demigod and you can’t be hit on by a human which means your only chance of making her jealous is with……” You looked at him intently. “Kwon Soonyoung, why are your eyes glimmering with mischief?” 

“You.” He took the cup from your hands and set it on the table, much to your dismay. “You’re the only one who she doesn’t know about and the only one who doesn’t know her…..” 

“So?” 

“Oh you’d be the perfect bait.” Soonyoung clapped his hands. “One look at you next to me and she’s going to be quaking in her boots.” 

“If you think I’m about to stroll into a nightclub and pretend to hit on you to make your ex girlfriend jealous you’re sorely mistaken.” 

“Why?” He whined. “Why can’t you do me a small favour. I saved you from Horong-” 

“Number one. If you didn’t pull me into your house, I would have ran out of the gate and been safe anyways-” 

“Sure.” 

“Number two, I don’t know what the hell is in this wine. Normally it takes a whole bottle to knock me down but two glasses in and I’m already buzzed-” 

“It’s a special blend.” 

“And number three, unfortunately for you, women are really observative creatures. One look at me next to you and she’s going to know there’s absolutely nothing going on between us.” 

Soonyoung opened and closed his mouth like he was thinking about what to say. “It won’t work out Kwon.” 

“This always happens.” He sighed. “She breaks it off with me for any small thing, goes on to have her fun, pushes me till I have to beg for her forgiveness and then she accepts it whenever she feels like. Everything is always whenever she feels like it. We haven’t even had sex in like two years-” 

“Okay.” You cut him off before he went into details you didn’t need to know. “If you’re so aware of what she’s doing, why do you always give in to her? Do you really like her or… is she just a habit?” 

“I don’t know.” Soonyoung stared at the floor, lost in thought. “I just know that we’ve been together since we were 18. And I can’t throw that away.” 

“I never knew you were such a romantic Kwon.” 

He laughed, sinking further into the couch. 

“You really want her back huh?” 

“I do.” 

“And this time do you want her to make the effort?” 

“A man can hope.” 

“Well then.” You turned to him. “Point number three was relevant only if she saw me…do you have your phone?” 

Soonyoung nodded, patting his many pockets and finally finding it, holding it out. 

“You're going to call and tell her you're hitting on me?”

“No…. If you give her a missed call will she call back?”

“Not immediately.” He sighed. “She'll take her time to pretend like she didn't see and then get back to me-” 

“Do it.” He continued to look at you confused. “Call her and cut the call.” 

He followed through but the frown didn't leave him the whole time. “Y/n what exactly are you doing?” 

“This may be a bit diabolical but it should do the trick.” You took a deep breath glancing at Soonyoung. “When she calls you back, she's going to hear us having sex.”

“W-what?” 

“Before you get any ideas, I'm not going to have sex with you Soonyoung, we're just going to make her think that we are.”

“How exactly will we do that?”

“We'll fake it.” You shrugged. “Make a couple of wet skin smacking sounds-” 

“and you could moan my name, say how good I'm making you feel.” 

“Didn’t you get onboard this real fast.” You narrowed your eyes at him. “I'm going to make it really clear once again that this is for her not-” 

Ring! 

At the sound of the ringtone both of you glanced at his phone and in a split second, Soonyoung picked up the call, holding it against his ear. Thankful that you got the opportunity to execute your idea so soon and determined to put up the show you promised, you immediately got to it, clearing your throat.

“Fuck yes Soonyoung, that feels so good-” 

With widened eyes and a swift movement, Soonyoung shut your mouth with his hand, shaking his head. 

“Yeah, yeah I remember…..Oh no that was just…. our cow?…..Yes Daisy, she's just having a rough night….. Anyways thanks for the reminder Hyungwon.”

You stared at him mortified, all the wine threatening to exit your system. 

“Yeah sure, see you tomorrow bro.”

Soonyoung brought down both the phone and his hand at the same time. 

“Oh god I’m so sorry, I thought it was-” 

“That’s your idea of having sex??” He looked at you shocked. “Thank god it wasn’t Mina because there was no way in hell she would have believed that?” 

“Hey, I had no preparation time, you try faking it off the bat.” You mumbled. “Besides, it wasn’t so bad.” 

“Wasn’t so bad?” Soonyoung looked scandalised. “Do you even know what you sounded like? Fuck yes Soonyoung, that feels good-” 

You leaned back inching away from him. 

“What the…..what was that?” 

“That's what you said.” 

“I know but” You frowned unsure if you heard right or if you were starting to get too drunk. “You sounded exactly like me. Like your voice, it….it was mine.” 

“Oh.” Soonyoung scratched the back of his head. “Yeah well um being the son of the God of Theater comes with its own skill set. Imitation helps confuse opponents during war - it has actually saved us in quests many times.”

“You can imitate anyone?”

Soonyoung nodded.

“Any sound they make?”

He nodded again as you let out a low whistle. 

“Well that's brilliant, then you don't even need me. You can make your girlfriend jealous by simply impersonating me.” 

“The keyword is imitate. I can only repeat sounds I hear, I can't just make them up.” He shifted in his seat. “So if I should impersonate you, I need to hear what you actually sound like during sex.” 

You rolled your eyes. “Don't push your luck Kwon.”

“I'm kidding.” He laughed leaning back into the couch, his eyes fluttering shut. “But you really have to work on the faking.” 

“Yeah I've been told.” You muttered as Soonyoung sat up again.

“Aha, so you have never had an orgasm!” 

“Because of a man, no I've not.” You confessed. “But bold of you to assume that I'm not perfectly capable of my own.”

Soonyoung looked confused. 

“Ever heard of masturbation, genius?” 

Soonyoung's mouth formed an O of realisation. “Well I've been in a relationship for almost 10 years so I've never had to take care of myself.”

“Don't rub it on my face Kwon.” You scoffed but regretted immediately knowing some dirty joke was going to come out of the man. So shutting his mouth with your hand, you held a finger to your lips. “Not a word. You're going to shut up till your girlfriend calls back.”

“That could be a very very long time.” He mumbled against your hand making you press it harder against his mouth with a shush. 

5 minutes later you were on your fourth mug of wine and Mina still hadn't called. 

10 minutes later, you were nearly falling asleep and Soonyoung was already snoring away beside you. 

15 minutes later the sound of the rain began to get softer outside. 

And 20 minutes later was when you finally lost your patience, shaking Soonyoung awake. 

“It’s getting late, I should go….” 

Soonyoung looked up at you sleepily as you got off the couch, standing up. 

“You should.….. I’m sorry, I shouldn't have roped you into this” He glanced at the blank screen on his phone. “Clearly Mina is either too busy having fun on her own or she doesn’t care.” 

You smiled at him sadly, as he pulled his feet up, snuggling into the couch. 

“I'm so sorry.” You whispered. “Goodnight Kwon.” 

“Goodnight sweetie.”

Setting the mug down, you grabbed your bag and opened his front door, relieved that the rain seemed to have stopped. But something was also stopping you from stepping out. 

Giving it a thought and sighing, you turned around, looking at the half asleep man again. 

“You said you could imitate me right?” 

Soonyoung's eyes slowly fluttered open.  

“So if you listen to how I actually sound, if and when she calls back, you can execute the plan on your own right?”

Soonyoung looked at you in a mix of confusion, drunkenness and sleepiness.

“Are you saying that…”

“No, I'm not going to sleep with you Kwon Soonyoung.”

“But you're horrible at faking.” 

“Yet again I'm going to remind you about masturbation.” 

You sighed, looking at his eternally lost expression. Grabbing his hand, you pulled him off the couch, leading him to his room. 

Soonyoung's room was just how you expected it to be - a mess. There were things scattered everywhere, all kinds of band posters up on the wall, snack wrappers all over the floor. 

He quickly kicked the trash under his bed and looked at you pleadingly. “You cannot tell Mingyu how messy my room is. And you most definitely cannot tell Seungcheol I'm snacking - he does not understand post break up slump.”

You gritted your teeth annoyed to be reminded of him again. Of course he didn't understand anything remotely related to feelings.

“Don't worry, no one's gonna know anything because you too are going to keep your mouth shut about whatever happens tonight.” 

“I still don't know what's happening tonight.” He mumbled as you walked around his room, glancing at everything. 

“I'm going to get myself off and you're going to listen and take notes.” Soonyoung's eyes finally widened in realisation.“Do you have a towel?” 

He nodded, quickly going through the stack of clothes piled on the chair across his bed and pulled out a long white one. Taking it from him you laid it down on his bed, the two of you staring at it mindlessly. 

“Could you also close the curtains?” You fidgeted with your fingers, putting your bag down at the foot of his bed as Soonyoung nodded. “Also dim the lights please.”

Following through your requests he tried not to look at you as you stripped out of your jacket and threw it on the bed. But when you unclasped your bra and pulled it out from under your shirt, Soonyoung was quite literally gawking. 

“I’m hot.” You mumbled as he walked back, standing much closer to you than he was before. 

“Yeah you are…. I mean,” He cleared his throat when you raised an eyebrow at him. “Yeah it's a little hot in here.” 

Both of you tried to ignore the sound of cold raining softly falling against the window. 

“On second thoughts,” You took a step back. “I don’t know if I can do this.” 

“W-why not?” 

“If you haven’t noticed I am buzzed as hell and I’m not sure I can do…. a great job on myself right now.” 

Lips slowly curling into a smile, Soonyoung cocked his head. “I can help.” 

“Yes and I can finally use all that combat training and kick your ass. Soonyoung I am not sleeping with-” 

“What? No, no I mean….. just wait here.” 

Your eyes followed him as he jogged out of his room, leaving you alone with your thoughts. You must be crazy to suggest this. Sure there was alcohol in your system and sure you were trying to get your mind off Seungcheol, avoiding going back to his house but this…..

“Here you go.” 

Soonyoung strolled back in with what you could only describe as a wooden looking, very phallic instrument. 

“That’s…” 

He nodded. “A dildo.” 

“I have so many questions.” 

“Let me clarify. Yes I have used a dildo before-” 

“Oh god.” 

“- Although my girlfriend isn’t the biggest fan of it-” 

“This wasn’t my question.” 

“-I do occasionally enjoy it myself.” 

“I don’t think I should be a part of this conversation.” 

“But this dildo in particular, has never been used by either of us before.” 

“That!” You pointed out. “That’s all I needed to know.” 

Soonyoung held it out to you, looking at you expectantly. You gulped. 

“You know, I don’t think I can do this. I’m actually more of a vibrator girl myself.” 

“Now who’s indulging in the TMI?” 

You rolled your eyes. “My point is, I don’t need this, I can just do it myself-” 

“I haven’t even gotten to the story behind this.” He giggled. “This is my father’s.” 

“Aaaand I’m done here.” 

“No what I mean is-” He shuffled closer to you like he was revealing a big secret. “My father may be the god of wine and ecstasy and madness and theatre and so many things but he is also…. the creator of the dildo.” You stared at him vacantly. What?? “I don’t think you wanna know the story behind it, it’s disturbing as fuck-” 

“More disturbing than everything so far?” 

“-but basically, a few years back, my father was temporarily exiled from Olympus and while he was in the human world, he had, what he calls, a magnificent business idea….sex toys. Dildo’s in particular. That’s when he made this.” He held it up and you wished he did it a little less proudly. “This isn’t an ordinary dildo Y/n, no. This baby can take on the shape, size, dimensions and every single tiny detail” He gave a dramatic pause. “Of the person you are imagining while going at it.”

“W-what?” You blinked at him stumped. “You mean to say it…. morphs into a replica of someone’s actual dick?” 

Soonyoung nodded fast. “This piece is a prototype that Dionysus made but when he brought the idea to Zeus it was shut down immediately because Gods aren’t supposed to interfere with human business and all that hoo ha, so he left it with me before he returned home.” With a small smile dancing on his lips, he held it out to you. “So if you want, it's all yours.” 

You stared at it. 

A magic dildo that could take the shape of any dick you wanted? 

You would have to be insane to say no to that. 

Pretending to hesitate just so you didn’t come across completely deranged, you slowly took the toy off Soonyoung’s hand, feeling the weight of it in your own. As you tried to picture how exactly this night might go, Soonyoung took a few steps back, grabbed a fistful of the material behind his neck and pulled his shirt over his head. 

“What?” He smirked as your eyes ran down his chiseled body, mouth moving but no words leaving it. “Didn’t you say it was hot?” 

As Soonyoung moved all the clothes stacked on the chair to the floor and sat down, you watched as the minor oversights in your plan came into play. If he had to take notes,  then Kwon Soonyoung was going to watch you. 

Tongue in the cheek, you glanced around the room, thanking all the gods in Olympus when you spotted a lacy blindfold hanging on the headboard. Without questioning its existence in his room, you quickly grabbed it and threw it at him.

“The deal was for audio Kwon, no visuals.” 

In complete contrast to his hot as fuck appearance he pouted like a child as you shook your head and looked at the blindfold pointedly. Sighing, he reached for it and put it over his eyes, tying it behind his hand. Not trusting him entirely, you walked up to him, slotting yourself between his legs and pulled the knot. Soonyoung’s hands gripped your thighs in both surprise and pain. 

“Sorry.” He mumbled, fingers softly grazing your legs as he pulled his hands away. “I promise, I can’t see a thing.” 

You nodded, then realised he said he couldn’t see and cleared your throat. “Yeah, okay.” 

“Okay.” He breathed, leaning back, waiting expectantly. 

Taking a few seconds, you let out a deep determined breath, preparing yourself for what was coming. As you unbuttoned your jeans, shimmying both your shorts and underwear down your legs, your eyes finally took a good look at the man of the hour, Kwon Soonyoung. Yeah he was one of the members who often trained shirtless which meant you had seen this display many times before but this was perhaps the first time you were actually paying attention to it. Before this, you hadn’t quite realised just how beautifully tanned and toned he was or how much that undercut suited him or how hot he looked biting his lower lip. 

Kicking your garments away, you pried your eyes, reminding yourself that this man was taken. Or at least would be taken again pretty soon. You shouldn’t do this. You shouldn’t be looking at him, you shouldn’t be thinking about him and he sure as fuck cannot be the inspiration for your new magic sex toy. 

That unfortunately meant that there was only one other person in your mind who could be the muse - Choi Seungcheol. Despite his dismissal earlier and despite being someone who held herself as a very high level of self respect, it was evident that your body shamelessly still craved him - he was the only one running in your mind. Trying to block him out, you arranged the pillows on Soonyoung’s bed against the headboard, adjusted the towel and slowly climbed on. In all the time that you took leaning against it, spreading your legs and settling in, Soonyoung remained incredibly quiet. Patient. 

Although he couldn’t see you, watching him felt weird, given the man and the dick on your mind were not him. Sighing, you glanced at the object you were gripping - it had already taken shape of what you desired and the sight of it made you gulp. 

Lord was Choi Seungcheol thick.

Given his beefy exterior and broad build you had always assumed he was packed between his legs but this was nowhere near what you were imagining, not even close. Earlier, you were worried how you would get yourself off when you weren’t even wet enough but now you were practically dripping with the thought of that inside you. Still, you didn’t think it could fit, not without any prep. 

Slipping two fingers in your mouth you wet them messily before guiding them to your folds, smearing the spit with your very evident arousal. When you let out a soft sigh, Soonyoung shifted in his seat like he was alert and when your fingers teased your hole, slowly slipping in, an unintentional moan left you too, making him practically grip the armrests of his couch tight. 

“I'm going to need more than that Y/n.” He whispered. “What are you doing right now?” 

“I’m prepping myself, it’s…” You gulped. “It’s too big.” 

“Do you need lube?” He frowned. “Although I don’t know where it is….or if I even have any-” 

“That’s okay.” You shook your head. “I think I’m wet enough. Almost.” 

“Do you need any help?” 

You glanced at his tense body. “How can you help?” 

“Are you the kind that listens to instructions?”

“Occasionally.” 

“Then push your fingers further.” He exhaled. “Curl them up.” 

Although that was what was on your mind anyways, you obeyed. As your fingers brushed that spot, a soft fuck escaped your lips. 

“Feel good?” 

“Yeah.” You nodded. “Yeah that’s good.”

“Then move.” He cocked his head. “Slowly at first, then pick up speed.” 

Even before he finished his sentence you had followed through, fingers pumping faster, head falling back as the grip around the dildo in your hand tightened. 

“Add another finger.” 

“This feels good enough.” 

“This will feel better.” He urged. “Stretch yourself a little and add another finger.” 

Scissoring yourself open, you held back the moan that was threatening to tumble out, terrified Soonyoung would hear you. Belatedly you realised - Soonyoung was supposed to hear you. 

“Fuck that does feel better.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Are you ready for more?” 

“.......I think so.” 

“Then wet the dildo.” He shifted. “Put it in your mouth.” 

Hesitating just a bit you brought it up to your eye level, still taken aback by its sheer girth. In the dim light of the lamp on the nightstand you can see a stark vein running along his length, the sight of it nearly making your mouth water. Oh you wanted him to fill your mouth, you wanted him to fill you just about anywhere so bad but it was clear from earlier that Seungcheol didn’t want the same. So you were just going to take this chance and fuck him out of your brain. After tonight you were not going to think of Choi Seungcheol anymore. 

Determined, you wrapped your mouth around the tip, humming against the weight on your tongue before pulling it out with a wet pop. As Soonyoung’s breath hitched, you sunk your mouth down on it again, taking it further in, not far enough to let it hit the back of your throat, but enough to just slightly choke around it, drool running down the corner of your mouth. 

“Y/n,” Soonyoung’s voice sounded almost choked too. “Please….” 

You’ve never had a man beg for you like this before and it wasn’t enough to touch him but to touch yourself? Something in you swelled in pride, but something was also terrified about what things would be like once this was over - could you and Soonyoung really be the same again? And if things were going to change, how would they be? 

“Sweetie, you have to do something….” 

Knowing you needed something in you more than he did, you drove the thoughts away before aligning the tip at your dripping hole and slowly pushing Seungcheol’s girth in. 

“Holy shit..” You sighed as you thrusted his length further, the stretch serving a sting that slowly ebbed from pain to pleasure. 

“Is it all the way in?” Soonyoung groaned as you shook your head gulping.

“It’s not…” You panted, glancing down to see barely any length disappearing in you yet you were so full. “I can’t.”

“You can.” He licked his drying lips. “You can Y/n, come on - fuck yourself like you want to be fucked.” 

Yes you knew Soonyoung had a horrible habit of pointless flirting but you did not think his mouth was capable of spewing such filth too. 

“Tell me how you like it.” 

“Deep.” You whimpered, answering him as you shoved it in more, feeling it hit all the right places. “I like it deep.” 

“And fast?” 

“And fast.” 

“Then move.” 

And you did, pulling it out, pistoning it into you, sharp intakes of breath and curse words leaving you as you did. You felt your eyes roll back, threatening to shut but when they landed on Soonyoung they widened - he had slid down his chair, manspread now a lot wider and stark against his pants was the imprint of his uncomfortably trapped boner.

“Soonyoung….” You accidentally moaned, simply trying to get his attention. “Are you… hard?” 

“Unbearably.” He confessed immediately. “I’m s-sorry, it’s been a while-” 

“Do you want to touch yourself?”

You don’t know why exactly you asked him that but you wanted him to feel good too. Just as good as faux Seungcheol was making you feel. 

“I think I can cum without that.” He half laughed, half groaned. “But god yes I want to.”

“Do it.” You directed him, halting your own movements, watching him. “Touch yourself.” 

Without wasting a second, Soonyoung instantly unbuttoned his pants and stuck his hand down, wrapping it around his erection. As he shifted uncomfortably, you could tell he would’ve felt a lot better if he could completely free himself.

“Careful. Otherwise I’ll see you…I mean it…” 

“Do you mind?” He raised his eyebrows at you. “Would it bother you if I….” 

If you were being honest, since the moment you laid eyes on the outline of his dick you were curious…

“No.” You shook your head. “I don’t.” 

“Then I don’t give a flying fuck.” 

He raised his hips a little, just enough to pull down his pants as his erection sprung free, resting against his abs, pink and flushed. 

Oh he was long. 

Seungcheol might be thick but Soonyoung was long, like he could reach places no one else could. As he spat in his hand and smeared the pre cum along his length pumping it in his fist, you gulped, forgetting that you too were in the middle of doing the same thing, just staring. 

“Y/n,” He moaned your name, throwing his head back, setting off a strange fire in your groin. “Match my pace.” 

You nodded, thankful to not have to put your own brain to this which was threatening to shut off any moment now. Watching him half lidded, you let him set the pace for your movements, matching him almost perfectly. 

“Fuck this feels so good.” Soonyoung whimpered. 

“It does.” You agreed, with struggling breaths. “Soonyoung please…. Faster.” 

“Faster?” He smirked, but listened. “You really are one of us huh.” 

“I need more.” You whined, feeling yourself at an edge you were just not able to cross. “Soonyoung….” 

“I wish I could help, baby.” He sighed, “I really do wish…” 

“What would you have done?” 

“I’d have my mouth everywhere…marked your neck…. marked those pretty breasts….fuck Y/n, you’d have to beg me to stop.” 

“Don’t.” You moaned, pushing your shirt up with your free hand, grabbing a tit, squeezing it painfully hard. “Tell me more…” 

“I’d hold the toy for you, watch you fuck yourself on it….” He stroked himself faster, almost erratically. “Maybe give it to you from the back so I can see how your ass-” 

Groaning annoyed at the sound of music coming loudly from his pocket, your movements faltered, eyes widening. It was different from the ringtone earlier which probably meant-

“Is that Mina?” 

“Yeah.” 

“P-pick it up Soonyoung.” 

“Ignore it.” 

“Soon-” 

“Ignore it.” He emphasized. “Go on Y/n, I don’t know how long the effects of that toy are going to last.” 

And that’s what made you stop wondering why Soonyoung wouldn’t pick up the call when this was in fact the most ideal situation the two of you were meant to be caught in. You didn’t want to lose what you were pumping inside you, you didn’t want to lose the feeling of Seungcheol stretching you out. As you resumed the pace, Soonyoung’s voice left him like a croak. 

“Do you like the thought of this? Someone listening to you get off?” 

You didn’t want to answer that. Wasn’t the kind of things you liked evident by the fact that you were fucking yourself to one man while watching and listening to another? 

“Because I love that you’re watching.” He whispered. “It’s driving me insane.” 

“I wanna see you cum.” You pulled the toy out of you, tossing it onto the towel before your fingers found your clit rubbing circles hard.

“Fuck I'm close.” He pumped himself faster, losing rhythm, broken moans and whimpers leaving him. “So close.”

Words left your mouth too as incoherent babbles as you felt your back arch and insides tighten pleasurably. Eyes crossing and shut tight, you finally came, chest heaving, trying to catch a breath. As you slowly came around and ran your fingers down your folds realising just how much you came, Soonyoung continued to push himself over the edge, like he just needed a little more nudge to finally find his release. Gulping you swung your legs off the bed and silently walked up to him, standing between his manspread, leaning till your lips were right by his ear. 

“Cum for me Soonyoung.” 

Almost immediately, with a guttural moan, his head fell back, baring his neck as spurts of cum shot onto his hand and torso, painting them white. Once the sheer amount left him he finally slumped back into his chair, breathing again, like he had been holding it in for too long. The sight of his cum all over his abs against the sheen of sweat on it made you clench unwillingly and you ran two fingers over it, collecting it. You knew his lips parted to catch his breath but you took the chance to slip your digits into his mouth, letting him taste himself. Surprised but not unpleasantly, Soonyoung ran his tongue along them, licking it clean, pulling away with a pop.

“You taste as good as you sound.” 

It's only then that you realise your own arousal was coating your fingers too. 

Scoffing awkwardly, you shuffled back, picking up your shorts and panties from the floor, putting them on slowly.  

“I'm not dressed yet!” You shrieked, futilely trying to cover yourself as Soonyoung attempted to remove his blindfold. Holding his hand up, he allowed you to get dressed in the silence that followed. Silence that was too much to bear, silence that if he hadn’t broken, you would have. 

“I wasn't sure if I heard right but I thought…” He let out a deep breath as he tucked his flaccid self back in his pants. “I thought you took someone's name as you came.” 

You froze. 

You hadn't realised but now that you thought about it…. maybe, just maybe, you had taken Seungcheol’s name as your orgasm hit you. Yes you were incredibly turned on by Soonyoung and the sight of him and the sounds that left him but there was only one thing running at the back of your mind - cheol, cheol, cheol. 

“I'm not sure what you heard.” You brushed away his concerns, trying to sound casual. “I don't even know what I was saying, I was in some other zone entirely.” 

Soonyoung hummed in response and didn't push you for any further details. Grateful, you wiped your hands on the towel laid out before grabbing it, the bedsheet as well as the dildo and stuffed them all in your bag, throwing it over your shoulder - this was your mess to deal with.

“You done?” 

“Yeah just….put fresh sheets please.” 

“Oh don't worry about all that.” He got up, attempting to take his blindfold yet again. “I got it. If you want you could-” 

“Goodbye Soonyoung.” You stepped back, knowing he was offering for you to stay the night. Instead you headed for the door, hoping to leave before your eyes met his again. “I hope I was of help.” 

And as you left, you heard him sigh, revealing something he probably didn't mean for you to hear. 

“I don't think so Y/n.”

—

When you left Soonyoung’s house the rain had stopped but as you stood in the dining hall before the laundry machines the storm had returned yet again, much heavier this time. You glanced outside the windows at the obscurity sighing. It was like things just hated being in your favour. 

When the ding of the washer went off, you shifted the sheets into the dryer and decided to leave it there for the night considering you couldn't carry them back in the rain - you’d deal with them in the morning anyways, you weren’t ready to see Soonyoung just yet.

When you grabbed your bag from the floor, the weight had not reduced much - the dildo was still in it except it was back in its original popsicle-like shape, any trace of its resemblance to Seungcheol lost. You'd simply washed it and put it back in the bag, unsure what else to do with it. A part of you was annoyed that it had taken after Seungcheol of all people but the other was terrified that if you were to ever use it again, it would probably still model after him yet again. 

Disappointed with yourself you took a deep breath and shook your head. No. No more Choi Seungcheol. This ends here. 

Glancing at the machines one last time, you held onto your bag and ran out into the rain, hoping that Seungcheol had retired to his room by the time you reached. Instead, just as you approached the House of Zeus, you heard his voice. 

“Y/n!” 

He was drenched from head to toe, his blonde hair sticking to his face much like his shirt plastered against his pecs, like he had been soaked in the rain for hours. Letting out a struggled breath, you walked straight into his house, ignoring him. Seungcheol jogged over as fast as he could, putting himself in between you and the doors. 

“Y/n please listen to me-” 

“I don’t want to.” You attempted to go around him, only to be blocked by him again. 

“I just want to explain what happened earlier-” 

“I don’t care enough for an explanation.”

“I do!” 

You rolled your eyes as you pushed him away, a lot less gently than you intended to and Seungcheol immediately caught your hand, pulling you towards him.

“Seungcheol-” 

“You…. you can touch me.” He looked at his fingers wrapped around your wrist in awe, then at your palm flat against his chest.

“Didn’t you say you didn’t want me to-” 

“You shouldn’t be able to.” He muttered like he was amazed, unable to tear his eyes away. “How can you….” 

“Seungcheol, you're not making any sense.” 

He let out a deep breath. “In all the powers a demigod has, some are protective, acting like a shield."

"Okay..." You frowned.

“As the son of Zeus, mine is….a force field.” Oh. “At times like war, or in adrenaline driven situations, I become highly charged, rendering anyone who so much as comes two feet near me electrocuted. It's supposed to be a way to weaken enemies.” He sighed, “That’s why I was afraid of you touching me. I didn’t want you to get hurt.” 

“But…..Seungcheol I’m not an enemy and this isn’t a war-” 

“I get nervous around you.” He avoided your eye. “I don’t know, I just….. I can feel my skin prickling around you but……” He glanced at where your hands met his again. “You don’t feel anything?” 

“No, no I don’t but why do I make you nervous?” 

Seungcheol smiled softly. “Do you really not know?” 

You suppressed the grin forming on your own face. Fucking finally. 

“No.” You shook your head feigning innocence. “Tell me.” 

“Can I show you?” 

Maybe you nodded a bit too eagerly, because Seungcheol chuckled, pushing himself up against the door, pulling you along with him. As your body pressed against his, his hands found your waist, gaze darkening. He leaned in, lips hovering over yours, whispering your name softly, like he loved the sound of it. As your breaths mingled, lightning went off behind you, the silver light illuminating his gorgeous face and all its sharp angles. And just as you moved closer, eyes fluttering shut, Seungcheol cleared his throat. 

“Y/n I’m sorry, I forgot that it’s late and we have training at 4 tomorrow.” He muttered, drawing his hands away. “You should sleep. I can’t excuse your lateness everyday.” 

And yet again Choi Seungcheol left you completely baffled as he opened the door behind him and walked in, away from you. 

Next Chapter

a/n - please send me your thoughts - this kind of writing is waaaay out of my comfort zone, I need to know I'm not completely messing shit up and if I missed you in the taglist, please lmk!

[certaimromance]

ꫂ ၴႅၴ Effects of the Curse.

Aaron Hotchner x Fem!reader

Summary: After receiving some outside comments, the topic of marriage comes up. Unfortunately, you and Aaron have different views on the matter.

Words: 2,7k.

Warnings & Tags: mention to marriage, divorce, jack and haley. angst WITHOUT happy ending. established relationship. about a year after hotch's departure from the fbi. english isn't my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).

Note: As a person who wants to get married, this is pretty personal lol.

♡ Enjoy! ♡

You were leaning against one of the kitchen counters as you waited for the water you had put in the kettle to heat up and allow you to brew coffee. Behind you, you could hear your boyfriend rummaging through the cupboard for your favorite mug and carefully placing it next to his, going through the same routine the two of you had already established.

But something was feeling different this time.

It had more to do with your memories of the family dinner you'd gone to the day before, where there hadn't been a single person who hadn't asked when you were going to officially become Mrs. Hotchner, when you were going to take that big step down the aisle, and maybe even expand the family beyond that. It was a little silly for you to think so much about it, because those were the typical comments people made when they saw a functioning couple, and it had happened to you before with ex-boyfriends you took home, but this time it felt more serious.

Maybe it was because of how your heart was racing as you imagined wearing a ring that would show your total commitment to love someone to death, or maybe it was how Aaron reacted, or rather his lack of reaction, and how much that bothered you.

The sunlight streaming in through the kitchen window and filtering through the trees in the yard had you so mesmerized at that moment that you barely felt when his arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you closer to him. You were so caught up in your thoughts that you let out a slight sound of surprise and relaxed a little under his touch.

“What is on your mind? Perhaps the new coffee maker we should definitely consider purchasing?” He asked with a cheerful tone.

Yes, you two definitely had to buy a new one after the old one suddenly stopped working. But that wasn't what you were thinking about. You were a long way from that.

“Sure, we should do that.” Your answer was blurted out almost out of obligation and came out robotically.

He wasn't stupid, nor had he lost the habits of a profiler after so many years as one. He knew you well enough to know that something was troubling you, even if he didn't know exactly why. He pulled you a little closer and planted a small kiss on the top of your head, tightening his grip on your waist a little more to comfort you as he spoke.

“Darling.” He murmured softly, wanting you to give him your full attention. “I can practically see the gears turning in your head, what's wrong with you?”

You, were what you wanted to say.

“Nothing, just...it's been a long day.” That was all that came out of your mouth.

To tell the truth, it had been an exhausting day, and at least you hadn't lied that much. You had been very restless, trying to do many things to keep the destructive thoughts out of your mind, and it had made you quite tired.

“Don't try to fool me. I know you well enough to know when you are lying.” He gently pinched the sides of your waist and turned you to look into his eyes.

“I...I was just thinking about some things my family said yesterday.” You finally confessed, your voice a little shaky, as if telling him would embarrass you.

“Like what?” He furrowed his brow in concern, brushing a hand against your cheek in that way that always made you feel a bit weak in the knees.

His touch was so warm and loving against your skin, and for a moment, it almost made you forget what you were thinking about. Almost.

“Just a few things about how I haven't married you yet, and...” You didn't even want to finish the sentence, feeling your heart beat a little faster as the words got stuck in your throat. “That we don't have, you know, kids.”

Aaron took a quick look at your face as he heard your confession. His heart clenched a little as he realized what you were talking about, and he couldn't help but be curious about it. The topic of marriage and having children hadn't come up much since you started dating because he already had Jack and had been married once. It was a goal he'd already achieved. However, he knew it was a topic that needed to be discussed, as he saw your worried expression and slightly trembling voice.

He put his hands on your shoulders, giving them a gentle massage to relieve the tension. He didn't want to seem careless or unconcerned, so he spoke after pausing.

“And you were worried because...?”

He looked at you with a kind of intense gaze that made you feel like your heart was going to burst out of your chest at any moment. As he massaged your shoulders, you took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself.

“Well, from the way you reacted, I guess.” You admitted, your voice full of doubt. “I mean, I know we haven't really talked about it, but...it's hard to know what you're thinking when the subject comes up and you have that cold expression on your face, like it's nothing relevant.”

His expression softened, and he brought his hands to your face, cupping your cheeks to make sure you were looking directly at him.

“You know very well that I have already taken care of that.” He said softly, trying to find the best words. “Marriage, children...I had that. I have Jack. And he's enough for me.”

Enough for him. Were you too?

His words had a surprising effect on you, leaving you with a somewhat bitter taste in your mouth. Despite this, you maintained a calm exterior, striving to conceal your true feelings.

“And what about what's enough for me?” You inquired, addressing the issue with a candor you had previously avoided. The words emerged from your mouth almost involuntarily.

Hotchner was taken aback by your question. The way you asked it gave the impression that you were accusing him, although he was unsure if this was the intention. He took a deep breath, searching for the most tactful way to respond to your words.

“I...I didn't realize.” He began, pausing for a moment to collect his thoughts. “You never mentioned that you wanted to get married or have children. I thought you were happy with our current situation.”

“Not really.” You admitted, avoiding eye contact as you looked down at the floor. “I mean, I really love Jack, he's a wonderful boy.”

Aaron listened intently as you continued, your words coming out hesitantly.

“And being with you...it makes me so happy.” You sighed and leaned back against the kitchen counter. “But…I feel like I need more. I want more, and I'm not necessarily talking about a child. I want to know that you belong to me as much as I belong to you.”

Aaron walked over and stood in front of you, placing his hands on your hips. He stared at you as he spoke, his voice soft but firm.

“Darling, my love...I belong to you, and you belong to me, and you don't need a ring to know that. If you want one, I'll buy it for you, that or whatever you want.”

You let out a small sigh and leaned closer to him, resting your head on his chest. You could hear the steady beat of his heart as he held you tightly and his body enveloped you in a warm embrace.

“I know.” You said quietly, the words somewhat muffled against his shirt. “But it's not just about the ring. It's about the commitment, the symbol of our union...and how that gives me security.”

He ran his fingers through your hair gently as he listened, his touch soothing against your scalp.

“Listen to me.” He began, his tone affectionate. “I've always been committed to you. From the moment I allowed myself to open up to you to the first night we spent together, and every day since. You know it. Does it really take a ceremony to make you believe it?”

When you looked at him, you felt a rush of emotions. You knew he loved you, and he was right. He had shown you his commitment many times. You had even been living together for a couple of years. But there was still a part of you that longed for that tangible symbol of love.

“I don't doubt you.” You said, choosing your words carefully. “But it's about symbolism. Having physical proof of our commitment shows the world how firmly bound we are to each other. And I know you believe in it. You were married once for a reason.”

Oh, that's a sensitive topic.

He let out a small sigh when you mentioned his previous marriage, and his fingers stopped stroking your hair. It was an uncomfortable and painful subject he didn't like to talk about, especially with you. The memories of his failed marriage were difficult to process, not only because of Haley's death but also because of the many problems that had plagued their relationship before its sad end.

“Maybe I believed that before, or at least I thought I did.” He replied after a short pause. “But that doesn't mean I want to go through it all again.”

“Even with me?” You asked softly, lifting your head to look into his eyes. There was a hint of vulnerability and sadness in your expression, your heart trembling slightly in anticipation of his answer. “Even in the future?”

Aaron observed your expression and the slight shift in your demeanor. He was aware of the impact his words could have on you, and he took care to choose them carefully. He gently traced your features with the back of his hand, his thumb gently moving across your face.

“This isn't about you or time at all.” He said in a soft voice, trying to express his love for you. “I just couldn't go through that again. The expectations, the disappointment, the divorce. It's too much.”

As he spoke, he paused and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to contain his emotions. His previous marriage had left him deeply scarred, and the thought of suffering the same fate again, especially with you, filled him with dread. He silently prayed every day that history would never repeat itself.

But your situation was quite different. The concerns he expressed, which he did not fully explain, only served to increase your doubts. You were aware that Aaron had every reason to be fearful after experiencing so much in the past, but you were surprised that he seemed to be afraid to be with you in front of the law.

How could he be so sure that a marriage with you would end in divorce? If his demanding job could no longer be the cause of the failure, could it perhaps be something else? Could it be you?

“You're not the same as before, and I'm not-” You started to say when you were interrupted by a loud whistle.

The unexpected sound of the kettle whistling gently interrupts the moment between the two, if only for a brief moment, allowing you both to take a breath.

He carefully put out the fire and poured the steaming water into the cups he had thoughtfully prepared earlier. He then added a teaspoon of sugar to each and a little milk to yours, taking care to ensure it was just the way you liked it. As you both watched the hot liquid swirl in the cups, he let out a sigh. Aaron felt a sense of responsibility, knowing he wasn't able to deliver what you desired.

Hotchner handed you your cup with care, ensuring that he did not accidentally burn himself in the process. The kitchen fell silent as he stood next to you while you both sipped your coffee, lost in your own thoughts.

The taste of coffee with a little milk on your tongue distracted you from the heavy atmosphere that had settled between you and him in the kitchen. In that moment, you took the opportunity to watch him closely and try to decipher what he was thinking. Maybe use a little of what you had learned from being with a profiler for so long.

His face was set, and you could easily see the emotion in his eyes. He was not happy with the conversation, and his expression had given him away from the first crossword on the subject.

When Aaron noticed you staring at him in the midst of his silence, he looked up into your eyes and held them for a few seconds. He knew exactly what you were trying to do, but it didn't bother him. Being a profiler, he found it ironic, and a small smile appeared on his lips.

“You can look at me all you want.” He said with a dry laugh. “And try to profile me if you want.”

“It's not that...” You began to say, but you knew he was right. That was precisely what you were attempting to do, trying to discern his feelings, even utilizing some profiling techniques he had taught you himself. You let out a small sigh, feeling a little foolish for your lack of subtlety.

Of course he'd realize. The man could leave the FBI, but the FBI couldn't leave the man.

“I find it challenging not to.” You confessed, tilting your head and taking a sip of your coffee. “I've picked up on some of your habits, I suppose.”

He let out a soft chuckle, acknowledging that you were trying to get a read on him and feeling relieved to see the earlier tension ease. He lifted the cup to his lips and took a small sip, letting the hot liquid warm his insides before speaking in a friendly tone.

“And what have I taught you?” He asked, raising an eyebrow curiously.

“A few things.” You replied, with a hint of sarcasm. “Like how to spot lies, read body language, and how to read people well. Basically, all the skills required to be a profiler, except how to not profile your loved one.”

“I see your point.” He replied, a soft smile on his face, grateful that things between you were feeling good again. “Perhaps I should have taught you that last part too, but you would have made a good profiler.”

“I would have made a good wife too.” The comment came out before you could stop yourself, and you immediately covered your mouth with your fingers after saying it.

Aaron's smile faded as soon as you spoke, and the tension in the room intensified. He exhaled, a combination of fatigue and frustration, and placed the half-finished coffee on the counter behind you before crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“I'm sorry.” You spoke up before he could even open his mouth, hoping to get a word in first.

“Don't.” His answer came almost automatically.

It was then that you grabbed your cell phone after hearing it vibrate, hoping to avoid the situation. “It's the seamstress. Jack's costume is ready.”

He nodded silently as you picked up the cell phone from the kitchen table. The comment was still in the air, and you sensed that he had heard it, but he didn't react at all. Instead, he seemed relieved that the awkward moment between the two was over, if only temporarily.

Thank you, Halloween.

After a brief pause, Aaron inquired gently. “Would you like me to accompany you to collect it?”

“I believe it would be best if I went alone.” You replied after a moment. “I need to take some time to process things, and you need to wait for your son. He will be out of school soon.”

Aaron felt a slight discomfort in his chest at your words. He recognized the truth in what you said, that some time apart might be beneficial for both of you to reflect on the conversation and all that was left unsaid.

And after that, you proceeded to retrieve your keys and walked through the door without so much as a moment's hesitation. This time, there wasn't even an ‘I love you’ or a goodbye kiss as a reminder that all was well. This time, the silence conveyed a message that was perhaps more profound than any gesture or sweet word.

In the end, the marriage was scarier than any Halloween costume.

[here-there-were-dragons]

there’s something deeply wrong with the fact that if i just simply decided to walk around everywhere on all fours all day, and did absolutely nothing else differently, i would be guaranteed to have the cops called on me and be put back in a psych ward with at least 5 new diagnosis by the end of the day.

walking around on all fours isn’t even something i do or would want to do. it would destroy my arthritic-ass spine. but there’s something deeply, rage-inducingly fucked up about the fact that even something that small is enough for this society to deem it morally acceptable and necessary to dissapear you into fucking conversion therapy torture jail indefinitely and saddle you with life-ruining legal tags forever “for your and everyone’s safety”!

just commenting on this as being fucked up could very easily be enough to get me the same treatment if someone decided they wanted to! it’s not like anyone’s going to stop some psych person from deciding that this is totally real undeniable freudian slip 100% true we promise you guys evidence that i’m some kind of feral mentally degenerate personimal mindlessly beholden to some illogical instinct to crawl around and bite good normal god-fearing real people because CLEARLY you’d have to be crazy yourself and/or want to DO the thing yourself to defend this UNCOMFORTABLE THING, right? nobody could just think it’s fucked up how we treat doing (abnormal thing) without being a Secret Monster themselves, REAL people obviously know unquestioningly why it’s bad, you just want to be allowed to give in to your corrupted malformed wrong EVIL base instincts that you definitely have (INSTEAD of a conscious mind with any valid logical thoughts or worthwhile human experiences in it) because i said so and i’m The Expert so everything i say is true and right!

i can’t even figure out where to fit in the bit about how fucked it is that if you did anything “abnormal” like that literally everyone automatically assumes you’re going to be dangerous and violent about it. that if someone decides to go around on all fours then CLEARLY they’re going to randomly bite GOOD HEALTHY NORMAL REAL people for no reason. it’s like people can’t comprehend the idea of any even slightly deviant behavior that isn’t violence and just assume if anything even slightly weird’s going on it’s moving in the direction of mindless bloodshed-of good normal people’s blood, especially, personally, obviously. human-shaped things come in “actual person” and “mindless rabid horrordemon that desires only real human’s blood and pain” and as far as they’re concerned everything that even slightly inhabits, leans towards, or vaguely reminds them of the second category is functionally identical and will inevitably attack real humans the same way-for literally no reason beyond a cosmic ontological sort of Wrongness and Emptiness Of Real Thought And Soul-if allowed to exist in their field of view longer than thirty seconds.

[wing-ed-thing]

Jean Kirstein Relationship Headcanons

Tags/Warnings: No Reader Pronouns

𓆃 All around a fairly well-rounded partner who will treat you right in a simple, low-drama but loving relationship.

𓆃 Jean is the kind of guy who thinks he already knows it all, especially if it's his first relationship. Most of this has to do with his mom, who raised him "to be a gentleman."

𓆃 Buying chocolates, flowers, holding the door open, walking closest to the road on the sidewalk, and paying the bill to name a few, Jean has a strict list of behaviors that he's already designated as his to perform in a relationship.

𓆃 It'll surely throw him for a loop if you don't want him to do any of them, especially if your relationship leans on the more non-traditional side.

𓆃 But no matter the dynamic or how you present in a relationship, Jean continues to function with his own idea of "chivalry."

𓆃 Throwing your card or cash out to pay the bill on one of your first few dates will surely throw a wrench in your night.

𓆃 And it's not that Jean thinks that "you think he's weak" or is insecure that you might "have a higher income," but it comes more from the fact that he had a specific idea of how things were going to go and Jean isn't great at readjusting.

𓆃 He's upset and semi-moody the rest of the night because Mama Kirstein taught him that he's supposed to get the bill, but how the hell is he going to bring that up? He can't.

𓆃 Not to mention if his finances are a lot lower than he anticipated. He wants to pay, but who else isn't embarrassed by their card declining?

𓆃 He's not attached to an unhealthy extent to the concept of being a man (or masculinity in general), but it is very important to him and a part of who he is.

𓆃 While this correlated to physical strength and status to him in his youth, as he grows older, this will manifest as healthy self-grooming, confidence in his communication skills, and emotional sharing, using language that doesn't denigrate others, and strong and inclusive leadership skills.

𓆃 And it's important to note that Jean's idea of being a man also strongly correlates to taking care of and caring for you.

𓆃 He's especially skilled at baking, and prides himself on making meals for you. Whether it's baked goods for special occasions or little treats like breakfast in bed, Jean enjoys using his skill in the kitchen to surprise you.

𓆃 Even if his surprises are impractical. You might have to tell him that while some of his gestures are thoughtful, they aren't practical.

𓆃 Breakfast in bed means you have to change the sheets because crumbs got everywhere. His running you a nice bath with flower petals was thoughtful, but you had just seen the largest insect you had ever seen in your entire life and you think it ran to hide in the towels.

𓆃 He gets a bit down on himself the same way you paying for your date would. Where he almost sees it as a personal failure. That he wants to do nice things for you and it's embarrassing when he doesn't hit the mark.

𓆃 Jean has a bad habit of inadvertently taking this out on you by becoming quiet and pouting, making you regret saying anything. That's a conversation to have.

𓆃 And sometimes he's misguided about what he thinks is best: for you, for himself, and for both of you.

𓆃 Sometimes, he'll fixate on something "chivalrous" to an annoying extent.

𓆃 Perhaps he notices you're walking on the street side of the sidewalk, he might grab you by the shoulders and physically move you to the other side saying, "Nope, wrong side."

𓆃 That might be annoying to you, and you'll have to remind him multiple times to stop.

𓆃 That's one thing that might be concerning to you, is when he locks into something, he needs to be told multiple times before he actually listens to you.

𓆃 He also has a hard time setting boundaries with his mother, so hope you have a good relationship with Mama Kirstein.

𓆃 Overall, Jean clearly cares about you very much. He's just a little slow when it comes to change and admitting when one thing isn't the answer to everything.

𓆃 It might take you both some time to adjust to and communicate how you want your relationship to operate, but once Jean understands what you need, you'll never want for anything.

Thank you to all who liked, reblogged, followed, and supported. Your support means so much and is greatly appreciated.

[bg-brainrot]

Halfway through the BG3 Holiday Challenge ✨

Prompt: Holiday Spirit

Featuring: Astarion x Rogue!Tav

Series: Fits into Love at First Knife, AO3 link here

Premise: You’re used to being stressed: first, life as a rogue on the streets of Baldur’s Gate, then, surviving the Absolute. What you were unprepared for was how particular holiday stress would be. In particular, how stressful hosting would be. When Astarion notices this, he aims to get you back in the holiday spirit.

Tags: POV Second Person, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Fluff, Holidays, post-canon, comfort

Word count: ~1.4k (this was supposed to be short, what happened)

Midwinter is just around the corner and you find yourself running around like a madperson– well, more mad than usual. For some gods forsaken reason, you've decided to have guests over for the holiday– you even had the unmitigated confidence to tell your lover, ‘don’t worry, I want to do this myself.’ You haven't the faintest where to start.

Astarion, the perceptive vampire that he is, notices that as the days to Midwinter countdown, your 'holiday spirit' or so you call it, seems to be dwindling. On this particular evening he watches you as he leans on the doorway to the kitchen.

You're walking in circles, apparently unable to decide where to place a decorative candle. After you put it back in the same spot for the third time, he speaks up.

"Darling, are you alright?"

You jump, not realizing that Astarion's been there this entire time. It's rare that he surprises you, so your heart begins working overtime at the sudden shock. "Oh gods, Astarion," you breathe out. "How in the hells did you sneak up on me like that?"

He chuckles lightly and pushes off the doorframe. "I'm afraid I've been watching you for at least half an hour. It's been cute, mind you, but I figured I should say something eventually."

That brings a small frown to your face. Am I losing my touch? Or is it all of this damned stress? You're about to ask when Astarion places a finger on the corner of your mouth.

“Love, what’s the matter?” he says, prodding your cheek up to form a half smile. “You seem to be in short supply of your usual winter-merriment.” You move to bite his poking finger, but he avoids it easily, adjusting his hand to cup your cheek. “Darling.”

“I guess,” you start glumly, annoyed to be trapped in his loving palm. “I am stressed about this whole Midwinter get-together we have planned.”

He brings up his other hand to cup the other side of your face. “I can see that, my sweet. But why are you so stressed? They’re just our old companions.”

“Friends,” you correct as you give him a look. He’ll get used to the word eventually, you’re sure. “And it’s not them that I’m stressed about. It’s… me.”

You feel your face squished between Astarion’s cold hands as he says, “Don’t you dare say something disparaging about yourself next, I’m warning you.”

The glare you give him is quite likely the opposite of whatever holiday cheer is. “Then why did you ask?”

“Because I thought it would be something reasonable!” he says, indignantly, shaking your head a bit. “Like that you were annoyed Gale actually accepted the invitation.”

You laugh at that despite yourself, and you see Astarion’s self-satisfied grin at your reaction. “No, I’m afraid it’s nothing like that,” you say and your laughter turns into a sigh.

“Fine, tell me. But if you’re too hard to yourself, I will spend the rest of the evening lavishing you with praise,” he warns, finally letting go of your face.

"Astarion, I don't know how to be… domestic," you say the word like it may as well be abyssal. "The only things I know how to do are kill and apparently lead a crew of barely functional adventurers. What if the whole thing is a disaster?"

"You know, for someone who seems concerned about disasters, you sure run toward them a lot, my dear," Astarion replies with a smirk.

"You aren't helping."

"Sorry, sorry, I couldn't resist," he says and moves to grab your limply hanging hand. Holding it between his, he brings it up for a kiss and continues, “Well, if it makes you feel better, I don’t think any of us are very good at being domestic– except maybe Gale, I suppose.”

You groan at that. “You’re right, we should have let him host.”

Astarion tugs on your hand now, shaking his head. “No, no, no. That’s not what that means. What that means is that this is new for all of us, so none of us have any expectations. If your version of Midwinter involves decorating with skulls and blood, so be it.”

You give a breathy laugh at that. “I think only you would like that.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I wouldn't rule Shadowheart out either,” he says, taking a step closer to you. “And if you need more brilliant ideas like that, you know I’m here to help, love.”

“But I wanted to do this on my own,” you mutter, looking down remorsefully. “To show you that the holidays can be fun, even if it doesn’t look like it right now.”

“You know there’s nothing I’d like more than for you to prove me wrong,” he begins, finally closing the distance between you and pulling you into his arms. He speaks his next words into your hair, “But I think I’d still prefer it if you were having fun again. To me, the most important part of the holiday is living vicariously through your joy.”

You blink blankly in his embrace for a moment, surprised at how easily his words fill you with relief. “Are you sure you want to help?" you ask, squeezing him to you tightly. "I won't go easy on you, there's a lot of decorating, tidying, and cooking to help with."

"When have you ever gone easy on me?" he asks with a laugh. "And you might want me to steer clear of the cooking, but otherwise, I'm all yours, love."

Pulling away from him, you give him a good, long look, verifying he means what he says. His smile is sweet, his eyes expectant, and you decide that it's alright to let this go – you really could use a second pair of hands at least. "Oh very well," you huff, though you can't resist the smile that comes to your face. "But if at any moment you feel like you’re starting to hate the holiday, you have to warn me!"

He places a hand on his chest in a vow. "You have my word. Besides, I can all but guarantee you that this will be the finest Midwinter I’ve had in 200 years."

“Astarion,” you say, feeling an ache settle in your chest at his admission.

The vampire grabs you by the shoulders and says, “Stop that. I didn’t say that to make you feel bad, I said it to inspire you. Understood?”

“Yes, love,” you say, swallowing down the emotions that threaten to overtake you.

“Good. Now tell me what you need,” he says, releasing your shoulders and gently running his hands down your arms.

You nod. "Alright. Your first task is simple: where in the hells should this candle go?" You gesture to the very same candle he'd been watching you struggle with earlier. It stands awkwardly on your kitchen table like a testament to your frustration.

Astarion looks at it for a moment and places a hand on his chin as he thinks. He walks over to the candle, picks it up, turns it a few times. Finally, he answers you with, “In the bin.”

“What?”

“In the bin, dear. We can do better.” He walks back over to you and hands you the candle, a beautiful white thing that has little snowflakes carved into the side. You wonder what could possibly be wrong with it but he’s already answering you. “I know you were probably trying to be mindful of my taste, but this candle? This isn’t you at all. Where is the red one that smells strongly of cinnamon?”

“Oh, I didn’t think you like that–”

“Nonsense,” he says, waving away your concern. ”If we’re going to host others, we’re going to make our home reflect both of us and be appropriately festive. This is why you were struggling, love. You needed someone with vision.”

You smile at him, appreciating his enthusiasm despite the snark. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that you’re starting to enjoy the holidays yourself, Astarion.”

“Oh, darling,” he murmurs, wrapping a hand around your waist. “You know I can find enjoyment in anything involving you.” His fingers grip you a little tighter and he gives you a naughty grin.

You raise an eyebrow at him suggestively and say, “That’s good, because I plan on keeping you busy all night. Let’s start with picking some placemats.”

Tossing the candle into a pile of decorations, Astarion and you get to work, setting up the home you’ve built together for the allies you now call friends.

[max--phillips]

Hey, @staff @support @wip @engineering @changes @humans it’s me again. Do you have a second? I would like to draw your attention to something.

So, you know how when you start typing in a tag, it’ll list tags to choose from based on what you’re typing in? Y’know, you start typing “star” and the list will populate “Star Wars” and “Lego Star Wars” among a few other tags you can tap on to auto-complete what you’re typing if you want? Yeah, it’s about that function.

I assumed that these tags populated based on popularity or number of uses. But when I saw some weird shit populate that read more like a clickbait article headline than a tag an actual human being had used at some point, I did some experimenting.

To preface, the tags that I'm about to list here have never once been used on my blog, and are not suggestions from my history. They are purely on tumblr's side.

Did you know that if you type in simply “I need,” the following tags auto-populate?

“I need to lose so much weight,” “I need to lose this weight,” and “I need to ⭐️ve.” Yikes. Knowing this, out of curiosity, I typed in "I want" next. Guess what I found?

"I want to ⭐️ve," "i want to cvt," and "i want to be skinnier." Again, yikes.

But perhaps this is a bit too leading. What if I just type in "I w" instead?

It auto-populates with some repeats, PLUS some more concerning shit. we got "i want to ⭐️ve," "i wanna lose weight," "i will reach my ugw," "i wanna be skinnier," "i wanna be tiny," "i want to cvt," "i want to be skinnier," "i wanna be perfect," "i will lose weight," and "i wish i was weightless."

Let's try just "i n" too, for fun.

We get "i need to lose so much weight," "i need to lose this weight," "i need to ⭐️ve," and "i need to be weightless."

With this in mind, I typed in "ana" because I recognize all of this as stuff people struggling with anorexia have historically said on this platform. Once again, we have some concerning things auto-populate:

"ana meal," "ana bllog," "ana tricks," "tw ana diary," "ana trigger," and "ana rant."

Here's my question: how and why are these auto-populating? This kind of thing literally goes against your own community guidelines. Here's a screenshot from those community guidelines:

I highlighted the text that reads "Don't post content that actively promotes or glorifies self-harm. This includes content that urges or encourages others to: cut or injure themselves; embrace anorexia, bulimia, or other eating disorders;"

I realize that monitoring tags like this isn't going to be perfect, some things inevitably slip through the cracks. But this many tags? Someone somewhere is dropping the ball.

That also leads me to another point.

I, as with many other people on this website, the self-proclaimed "queerest place on the internet," occasionally tag posts with something to the tune of "terfs do not interact" because... well, being a terf is to be inherently transphobic and anti-queer. I noticed something peculiar recently while tagging a post as such.

I'm willing to bet real actual money that the tag "terfs dni" gets used significantly more than the tag "terfsafe," so... why does the auto-populated tag list look like this when you type in "terf?"

We get the auto-populated tags "terfblr," "terfsafe," and "terfism." But not a sign of "terfs dni" or "terfs don't touch." Why is that?

So, again out of pure curiosity, I typed in "rad."

"radblr," "radical feminists do interact," "radical feminist safe," "radqueer" (which isn't radfem related but also shouldn't be on that list), "radical feminism," and "radical feminist community" auto-populate. Considering radical feminism and being a terf are literally the same thing, this is further concerning.

For shits and giggles, I typed in "lgb" to see what I'd get.

Why on EARTH is "lgb drop the t" the second auto-populated tag?

Let's try just the word "gender."

"gender critical" is the second auto-populated tag. Another transphobic term.

I'm sure this has nothing to do with the fact trans women can't post entirely safe for work selfies on this website anymore without their post getting flagged as mature content, or the swath of trans women who have had their blogs entirely terminated for no reason recently.

Also, interestingly enough, in your community guidelines, under the hate speech guideline, you have written "Don't encourage violence or hatred. Don't post content for the purpose of promoting or inciting the hatred of, or dehumanizing, individuals or groups based on race, ethnic or national origin, religion, gender, gender identity, age, veteran status, sexual orientation, disability or disease." You may be interested to know that terfs and other transphobes do, in fact, encourage, promote, and incite hatred of, and dehumanize, individuals or groups based on gender and gender identity.

Perhaps what you have auto-populate for tags should reflect things that are popular and inclusive on this website, not... whatever this is. If this is truly the queerest place on the internet, and you want to continue to cultivate it as such, you should probably at least act like it.

Anyway, it'd be cool of you to address these things. Toodles.

[part-time-zombie]

Blue Around The Scales

pairings: loceit (platonic, can be seen as romantic)

summary: logan doesn't worry about very much, and he tries to respect janus' privacy. after janus starts acting strangely, logan takes it upon himself to make sure he's alright.

tags/warnings: shedding

word count: 3345

a/n: i wrote this before janus' grwm video, i hope it still holds up lol. i also hope what i looked up about snakes is accurate enough.

Logan didn’t worry easily. Most problems were easily resolved and not worth his concern at all. Even if it were a more difficult issue, it mostly just frustrated him more than anything. It challenged the notion that he always had the answer to things, which of course he does. That’s his job after all. He was not the type to be concerned about anything, especially since he could often solve most problems before they could raise any concern at all.

In this case however, he couldn’t help but feel a slight twinge of tension settle over him. Over the past week or so, Janus had been acting rather strangely and with no discernible cause. He rarely left his room at all lately, but when he did Logan noticed subtle changes. He was less active than he usually was, which admittedly wasn’t much to begin with. It wasn’t exhaustion as he was still very much aware and alert and showed no signs of fatigue, but he had been spending most of his time resting on the couch and hardly moving unless absolutely necessary. His scales seemed to be fading in color and vibrancy as well, dulling to a sickly grey that he refused to comment on. He was completely irritable and withdrawn, though it never got any worse than excessive eye rolling and rude responses. Any attempts at inquiry regarding his behavior only ever resulted in stubborn silence from him. Worse yet, Logan can’t recall the last time he saw Janus eating anything.

He did try to encourage Janus to eat, but he always declined whatever had been offered to him. It didn’t matter if it was Patton's baking, Logan's cooking, or even a simple glass of wine. Janus would refuse to consume anything, saying little else than that he wasn’t hungry. Thinking that he might have been suffering from the effects of his coldblooded nature, Logan even tried to turn the heat up but with little success. Even when the thermostat was set at eighty, Janus refused to eat or move. With all of these increasingly troubling symptoms and no identifiable source to them, Logan couldn’t help but be a little bit uneasy. Something was wrong, Janus wasn’t functioning properly, and he definitely wasn’t feeling well despite the sides being incapable of falling ill in the first place. Whatever was going on was not good, and it could even potentially affect Thomas.

Logan tried not to say anything about it at first. It was clear that Janus didn’t want to talk about it and Logan wanted to respect his boundaries, but at the same time he was getting increasingly desperate to find an answer to what was going on.

It was when Janus didn’t show up at all that he let himself worry. Janus had been skipping breakfast all week now, but he usually showed up roughly an hour later. It was now noon and he had yet to appear, and Logan's attempts at summoning him were fruitless. Janus had never declined an opportunity to appear for a debate or discussion before and he always showed up when he was summoned, so him not being present at all was beyond surprising.

With little else in the way of ideas, Logan found himself standing in front of Janus’ door, readying himself to knock. He had never intruded on Janus’ privacy before, but he felt the situation called for such measures and he had no better actions to take. Taking a deep breath, he raised a steady fist and knocked firmly on the door.

It took nearly a minute of silence before he decided to knock again, this time louder.

“Janus, it’s Logan. Are you still in your room?”

“… No.” came the response, very clearly from within the room.

Logan sighed to himself, not willing to play against Janus’ sarcasm today. “May I come in?”

“Yes…”

Upon receiving admission, Logan did not hesitate to open the door and enter, only for his glasses to immediately condensate and fog up at the extreme humidity he was confronted with inside Janus’ room. He took his glasses off momentarily to clean them while he heard a surprised and slightly panicked curse come from somewhere off to his left. He put his glasses back on quickly at that, taking in the sight before him.

Logan had never been in Janus’ room before, but it was certainly quite lovely. It was warmly lit and minimalistic in design, with black and gold as the most prominent color choices. There was a large bookshelf to his right full of various novels, biographies, and even a few knick-knacks, with the bed at the far end of the opposite wall. Next to it and in the direction of the sound was a large vanity set with a small plush stool. It was here that Logan saw a very flustered and very disheveled Janus.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” he shouted, hurriedly tying the black robe he had apparently just now covered himself with. His hat and gloves were discarded along with the rest of his outfit, though Logan could still see some yellow and black patterned sleep pants beneath the robe. He had definitely not been expecting Logan to enter, considering his state of undress.

“Apologies, I thought you said I could come in,” he explained.

 “Yeah, as a lie. Much like how I was clearly lying when I said I wasn’t in here. Why are you even here in the first place, what do you want so badly?”

“Well, I wanted to check up on you. You had been behaving strangely for quite some time now and I couldn’t help but feel concerned about your wellbeing.”

Janus scoffed, though it lost most of its impact now that Janus was so off-kilter. “How sweet of you to say. Really, I’m touched by how you apparently care so much that you barged in on me like this. As you can see, I’m fine, now just get out of my room already.”

Logan was about to do just that, but as he prepared to move he saw something in the light that gave him pause. Leaning forward slightly from where he stood, he tried to better examine what it was that he had seen on Janus’ face.

There, near his left eye, a part of his scales had peeled back slightly.

“What are you staring at?” Janus snapped.

Logan tried to clear the look of shock that had surely formed while he gaped at Janus.

“Your scales…” he started, not quite sure how to properly phrase his observation.

Janus seemed to understand him immediately though. He gasped lightly before all but slapping a hand to the left side of his face, turning his head to hide his scales. “It’s nothing. You didn’t see anything, alright, just leave it alone!” he exclaimed, as the now clearly visible right half of his face flushed beet red. If Logan didn’t know any better, he’d say Janus was embarrassed.

By now his concern had been replaced with an overwhelming surge of scientific curiosity. Logan shut the door behind him and took a small step forward.

“Janus, are you shedding?” he couldn’t help but ask.

Janus’ eyes widened before quickly looking away. “What? No, that would be ridiculous. Why on earth would I shed? For all you know these scales aren’t even real. It could just be some very convincing makeup,” he rambled, practically squirming in his seat.

Logan fought back a smile at the extreme reaction. “Maybe so, but I’ve been around you long enough to tell that those scales are very much real. It would make sense for you to shed them anyway, seeing as the coldblooded nature of snakes has also carried over to you.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to show the others!” he retorted. “Frankly, it’s all rather personal and I’d rather you didn’t go talking about it.”

“Of course not. I assure you; I will keep this information to myself,” he replied, which did seem to somewhat calm Janus. He had yet to remove his hand from his scales, however.

“Can I help?” Logan blurted out. He honestly hadn’t meant to ask that question for the sake of not overstepping any boundaries, but his desire to make himself useful and potentially learn more about Janus’ scales in the process had become too strong.

Janus stared back at him, surprise and skepticism clashing on his face.

“Why?”

“Well, if these scales are by any means difficult to remove I could certainly be of assistance. I wouldn’t mind helping, though it’s up to you. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Janus seemed to consider this for a moment, before sighing rather deeply to himself and finally removing his hand and exposing his scales. “Fine, but you will not under any circumstances breath a word of this to anyone, understand?”

Logan nodded, already walking over to Janus. The peeling was even more evident up close, with it seeming to start at his hairline before it reached his eye. It was a fascinating sight.

“Right, what do you know about snakes shedding?” Janus asked.

“Not very much, I must admit. I know they do it fairly regularly, though the frequency decreases as they grow. I also understand that it is a natural part of how they grow as their skin essentially becomes too small for them, so it peels off at a certain point. I suspect that your odd behavior last week was symptomatic of your scales preparing to shed.”

“You do catch on quick,” he answered with a teasing smirk. “Snakes also shed their old skin in one solid piece,” Janus added. “I’m not so lucky.”

He brought a hand up and gestured to a part of his scales, near the bottom half of his jaw. There was a swatch of scales, but they did not continue down his neck or connect with the rest of the scales on his face in any way.

 “The scales on my face are pretty much self-contained, and have to be peeled off in separate patches,” his hand indicated the points where the scales ended and joined seamlessly with his skin as he spoke, highlighting their isolated placement.

Logan hadn’t really considered that before, but it did hold some merit. He couldn’t help but wonder where the rest of his scales might be, as he only saw the ones on his face.

“Anyway, I suppose I’ll demonstrate for you first so you know how to do it right,” Janus said, his tone poorly feigning nonchalance. “Can’t have you making any mistakes now, can we?”

Logan bit his tongue at that, nodding instead as Janus began.

“The scales don’t come up on their own, you have to scratch at a spot until it peels,” he started, fingers coming up to where his scales had already peeled back. “Once it peels back, it’s just a matter of slowly lifting them away from the face until it’s all off.”

He pealed the scales off while he explained, as if he were merely removing a sticker. After a minute the scales on the upper half of his face were shed and placed on the table.

“And no, I don’t eat the skin. Don’t even bother asking,” he groaned.

“I wasn’t going to,” Logan replied. “Besides, I feel like that’s a question Remus would be more inclined to ask you than me.”

Janus didn’t say anything, only letting out a small chuckle.

He started gently scratching at the scales closest to his ear next, gently pinching at the part that came loose and pulling back with the same practiced ease as before.

“Does it ever hurt at all?” Logan inquired.

“Not really, it’s more or less like peeling dried glue off of your skin,” he said with a shrug. “It’s much easier when it’s humid, makes it easier to remove.”

He finished shedding the scales on his face soon after, suddenly looking very sheepish.

“What’s the matter?” Logan asked him.

Janus took a moment to respond, not looking up at him. “The rest of the scales are in a more, sensitive area, so to speak.”

Logan felt himself flush. He couldn’t possibly mean that they were located near his…

“Well, not there, Logan, good god!” Janus hurriedly explained, putting a hand up between them as if to wave the thought away. “And here I thought Remus was the pervert.”

“You said they were in a sensitive area, though,” Logan defended. “That coupled with your clearly flustered behavior, it would only make sense to assume such a thing!”

“Just get your head out of the gutter already, will you? It’s nothing like that.”

“Well, where are your scales located then? I haven’t seen them anywhere else on your person so far, though I haven’t seen much more than your face and on one occasion your arms.”

“Just don’t be weird about it, alright?” Janus urged. He turned his back to Logan and slowly let his robe slip down his shoulders with a shaky exhale.

His back was completely covered in scales. They started from the back of his neck and continued all the way down to the small of his back before finally blending back to skin. They wrapped around to his chest in a fashion that paralleled his ribs, with thins strips of them looping up and over his collarbones as well, not quite joining the scales that extended from beneath his arms. The scales were dull and faded to a lifeless grey, but it was still a mesmerizing sight.

“If you’re just going to stare then you may as well leave,” Janus snapped, staring back at him through the mirror with a still-present blush on his cheek. “I’ve done this before on my own and I’ll do so now if you aren’t actually going to help.”

Logan apologized before gently moving his hands up to Janus’ neck. “Please let me know if I am ever hurting you or making you uncomfortable in any way,” he said before starting.

Janus quietly nodded, looking down at his lap where his hands were balled into tight fists.

 Logan started making soft, delicate scratches just like Janus had done earlier, being careful not to hurt him. It took him some time, but he finally managed to coax a small part of the scales to come up from the skin. After ensuring that Janus wasn’t bleeding or otherwise hurt, he started to gently peel away at the scales, moving slowly and carefully. The skin eventually reached his shoulders, at which point Logan briefly stopped to free up the scales that curved over to his chest, checking with Janus all the while. They came loose in the same manner as the ones from before, peeling back to join the rest of the shed skin from where he had left off. He did the same to the other side, already becoming familiar with the process. It was quickly coming easier to Logan, and he prided himself on his fast learning.

He started to guide the shed scales further downward until they wrapped around with his ribs, at which point he repeated the same process as before. He checked in with Janus the whole time, noticing him minutely relaxing more and more as time went on. His fists were no longer clenched and his eyes had slipped shut, and while he still carried some tension in his shoulders his face had softened, revealing a delicate lightness in his features. He seemed to let himself become calmer and more open the longer Logan worked, and he couldn’t help but feel somewhat honored that Janus was trusting him with something this delicate.

He continued to help shed the scales, gently easing the old skin back without tugging on the newer and more sensitive scales beneath it. He noticed some light scarring by some of the edges of the skin, spots where Janus had presumably struggled to rub the scales free. He decided not to comment on that, focusing instead on gently removing the last of the old scales with one final peel.

Logan stood back for a moment, letting himself admire the sight before him. With the old skin gone, the new scales beneath it were incredibly vibrant and bright, catching the light in a rather iridescent array of colors. Yellows, greens, even shades of brown, all shiny and new. He tried his best to commit the sight to memory, certain that he may not get a chance to see it a second time.

He placed the shed skin on the table with the rest of the old scales, causing Janus to open his eyes at the sudden disruption. He sat up straighter and quickly adjusted his robe back over himself, not realizing how much he had drifted off. He eyed the pile of skin almost incredulously, lifting it up to better examine it.

“You got it all in one piece?” he asked.

Logan nodded, pleased he did well.

“I must admit I’m surprised. I half expected you to tear it somewhere down the line.”

“Have you ever done that?” Logan asked him.

Janus shook his head slightly, turning back around and looking up at him. “No, but I’ve come close. Usually, I have to start peeling at all of the edges and make my way inward until I can pull it all away. Either that or I just end up using a backscratcher. Neither method is exactly fun, though.”

“Do you often do this by yourself?” Logan couldn’t help but ask.

“It’s not like anyone else knows about it. Well, except for you now.”

“Remus and Virgil don’t know?”

Janus let out an irritated huff at that. “God no, can you imagine? Virgil would find some way to convince himself I was dying every time, and Remus would just make a mess of it for fun.”

Logan couldn’t help but chuckle at that.

“That’s a fair point. I certainly wouldn’t want Remus putting you at risk while you shed.”

Janus arched an eyebrow, surprised by the sudden candor.

“Might I add, it is good to know that I was right.” Logan added.

“Right about what?”

“Your scales are in fact pleasantly smooth. You are not a ‘slimy boy’ as Thomas put it.”

Janus sputtered at that, eyes wide and determined to look anywhere but at Logan.

“You can’t possibly say that with a straight face,” he said.

“But I did anyway. I would also like to point out that your scales are very lovely after they’ve been shed. I almost wish you didn’t hide them so much, though I understand why you do.”

If Janus wasn’t embarrassed before, he certainly was now. He was flushed and flustered, ducking his head and floundering over his words while he struggled to say something.

“You have to stop saying things like that, you’re making a fool of yourself.” He groaned.

Logan wasn’t about to point out which of them was currently embarrassed, humming in dismissal instead. “I hope my help wasn’t too terrible, I know this is a personal matter for you.”

He shrugged again, a faint smile replacing his blush. “You didn’t do too bad, it was definitely easier with some proper assistance. I trust you still won’t mention this to the others?”

Logan smiled softly at the praise before replying. “I swear, no one will hear of this from me.”

Janus gave him a stern nod. “I intend on holding you to that.”

He held out a hand, and Logan shook it.

“I don’t suppose you’d be willing to join us for a movie night later in the evening, now that you’re finished shedding?” he asked, letting his tone betray his hopefulness. “I know I at the very least would enjoy your company a great deal.”

“Only as long as there’s going to be snacks and plenty of wine,” Janus answered, a teasing smirk returning to his face. “I’d kill someone over leftovers right about now.”

Logan couldn’t help but smile, already looking forward to Janus joining him tonight.

@lio-the-chaotic-nonbeanie-weenie @nico-the-overlord @rougeside4 @keitaisghost @new-zee-land @yuckypuppie @can-i-take-a-stab @britt-ish123

[smalltimidbean]

I’m gonna be brave about this, and I will ask this on behalf of other people who may want to do the following actions described.

I’ve read a few things in the tags of some posts that have made me wonder about something for a little bit now. If someone who is not a clone consumes clone material in some way, they get parasites and become terminally ill over an unspecified course of time, which can result in that someone’s death. And I wonder to what extent contact with a clone from a non-clone would warrant preventive measures or if there are thing besides eating part of them that are a no-go in order to not get parasites.

All of this leads to my question: is it safe to kiss or make out with a clone, as far as not getting the clone parasites is concerned? I understand that some of them have other hazards to consider, namely other poisons, but I am not necessarily asking about that. If there are any other things to exercise caution around in regard to not getting parasites, like for example drinking out of the same cup, feel free to discuss those here also ^_^

I also feel it necessary to stress that me asking this does not mean I want to kiss them, not necessarily. I hope I am not coming across as weird by asking this, and I am very sorry if I am. >_<

CW for discussions of parasites, death and clonekissing I guess

A very interesting and important question for clonekissers!!! And anyone who lives/works with a clone bc they can and will slobber on you, and it would be a bummer to get a parasite from a happy clone greeting

But the short answer is no!!! One would not get any sort of clone parasite from macking on one, or simply interacting with one

The clone matter that is exchanged during any physical interaction is far too minimal to have any effect on a non-clone entity - basically just as humans and animals exchange germs with each other, getting a little clone matter on ya, no problem - and any big bits usually just self-return to the clone that it's part of

More importantly, clone matter has to be in it's 'dead' or 'inactive' state for it to become parasitic (needs a better name bc it's still technically alive/active, but bear with me here jkdsfkj)

When a clone dies - i.e. its brain ceases functioning completely via being too damaged or being starved etc - or if a part of the clone has been detached for a long period of time (usually a week is the max) - like a clone's hand getting chopped off, and they are unable to get it back to pop it back on - clone matter turns into it's 'inactive' state where is it no longer sentient and functions very simply - it just eats and grows

I won't go into every single stage of clone parasite infection, that can be for another post - but it's basically the textbook definition of a parasite - it finds a host, derives it of nutrients and grows as big as it can get - and usually is fatal for said host as it is entirely consumed and becomes clone matter, and they usually die from y'know lack of nutrition or organ failure first

But hey!!! Ya get a brand-new clone that may or may not have some of the qualities and/or memories of it's ex-host at the end, cool right!!!

[heartslabyulzz]

Brain not functioning therefore that means it's time for...

TWSTERY DUNGEON AU LORE

Pt 2: The Nightwing Guild and Its Rescue Teams!

This one will be a lot longer, so strap in!

So where we left off in my last au rambling post, I discussed the way that I thought the prologue would... Generally play out in my au. It ended, of course, with Yuu and Purrloin (Grim) becoming official members of the Nightwing Guild!

But just. What is the guild, exactly? And who are the members?

Obviously, the guild is your standard rescue team guild, led by the ever gracious and kind Corviknight, of course!

But the guild actually doesn't follow standard guild structure in terms of how rescue teams are formed.

For generations, the rescue teams that were involved in the guild have been the same nine teams- Heart, Wilds, Deep-Sea, Shine, Mirror, Styx, Thorn, Nightwing, and Spirit.

Team Outsiders is the first new team for the guild in years, as most new recruits (such as Combusken and Floragato, who were rescued in the previous post) would be placed within one of the various larger teams based on personality, team composition, etc. but because Yuu and Purrloin are so... Peculiar and not of this world, Corviknight honestly had no idea what to do or where to place them. So in all of his magnanimity, he "allowed" them to form their own team.

Members of the teams can swap between teams or assist others from time to time, but there generally has to be a good reason for it.

For example, Decidueye (Rook) of Team Mirror was actually once a member of Team Wilds. After a tag team mission with Team Mirror's current leader, Milotic (Vil), though, Decidueye decided that perhaps he would be better suited to the beautiful and powerful style of the team instead (that and... Some of his former teammates found him to be unsettling. They did not complain when he left).

As stated before, though, before Team Outsiders was created, there were nine established teams within the guild- Teams Heart, Wilds Deep-Sea, blah blah blah I don't feel like retyping that all. But what is each individual team like, including team Outsiders?

Team Heart is one of the several rescue teams affiliated with the Nightwing Guild. Run by the short-tempered Roserade, they tend to put a lot of focus into upholding the law, not just in Sage Town, but also wherever they explore. They often focus on missions that deal with rescuing lost pokemon, returning stolen items, and dealing with big bullies.

Team Wilds is led by the slothful but cunning Pyroar, this team’s members tend to be of the same ilk, almost all brawn and limited brain, save for Pyroar and a few others. While Team Heart seems to be more of the “bully buster” kind of rescue team, Team Wilds is a bit more like the actual “bullies”, often taking on missions that require brute strength or immense athletic prowess to complete.

Team Deep-Sea is comprised of a group of Pokemon from, well, the deep sea, this guild is quite proficient when it comes to tackling underwater missions. They also ask for a steep price when requesting their aid, especially on land-related missions, so when missions are assigned to them, they are sometimes, but not always, a bit more on the difficult end of things. This isn’t a concern for them, though, as they have more than one way of dealing with tough conflicts.

Team Shine is led by the ever-cheerful Buizel and his intelligent partner, Arbok, this team is considered one of the more “fun” teams to be a member of or to be helped by of the guild. Team Shine will take on any request they can get their hands on and will often do it with a pep in their step (for the most part). Things are a bit different when Arbok is left in charge, however…

Team Mirror is filled to the brim with “beautiful” Pokemon, this rescue team is often home to those with “diva”-Esque tendencies. Despite their gorgeous and/or delicate appearances, Team Mirror are not to be trifled with, especially their leader, Milotic, who is as gorgeous as he is formidable. Team Mirror, much like Team Shine, takes on any tasks they can get into their grips, however, many members do try to avoid missions that require getting too dirty.

Team Styx is run by two Pokemon who tend to act as one, Chandelure and his brother, Litwick, this rescue team doesn’t actually go out on expeditions as often as the other teams due to their more introverted personalities. Instead, in order to still meet requests, missions that require item repair or delivery will often be delegated to them, however the one delivering will often be from another rescue team (or Litwick, if he feels inclined), and rewards will be divided accordingly.

Team Thorn is, by far, the most enigmatic of the Rescue Teams of the Nightwing Guild. Led by the illusive mischievous Hydreigon Crobat(?), the team rarely goes on missions unless they are deemed to be of a particularly noteworthy level of challenge or even danger. They're known for being incredibly powerful pokemon, not just within the guild itself, but among rescue guilds in the world as a whole. Many people say that the real leader of the team is quite terrifying, and so Crobat tends to handle the more public and social aspects of things.

Team Nightwing is the head rescue team and namesake of the Nightwing Guild. As a rescue team, they do occasionally take on rescue missions, however as the guild masters, they often stay around the guildhall to deal with various tasks such as documenting missions taken, recruiting and training rookies to join the various other rescue teams (or forming new ones, in the case of Team Outsiders), and managing the guild shop, where adventurers can exchange currency for equipment and resources to carry in dungeons. Corviknight is the leader of this rescue team as well as the guild and is usually alright at keeping an eye on his guild members…

Team Spirit is quite an old team of the Nightwing Guild, but most of its members have left the guild by now for one reason or another. There is no distinct leader among the three remaining members, Gengar, Trevenant, and Mismagius, but all three are quite mischievous and enjoy playing pranks on other guild members. They seem to have all taken a liking to Team Outsiders.

Team Outsiders is the newest rescue team in the Nightwing Guild. The only two members, at least at first, are exactly what their team’s name implies, since both are foreigners to the guild, as well as Sage Town as a whole. This rescue team takes on whatever missions they can get their hands on, as well as assisting and receiving assistance from other teams when necessary.

Pls pls pls if you read thru to the end send me asks about this au I want to talk about it so bad to the point where I may actually just make a blog for it eventually.

[imminent-danger-came]

I love reading your tags- especially when theres just even MORE info dumping there.

The least favorite character ask made me giggle a bit, "This character that appeared for a single episode is actually pretty cool. And this character is really awesome in this particular context. But ALSO I really like this character with very little actual screentime."

You‘re absolutely right though! Characters whose only purpose is to fill a particular role are chosen really well too! Like the Host Girl; sure, she doesn’t really have a personality or anything, but she doesn’t NEED to have one. As you said, she‘s collateral damage. She gives us more insight to Wukong, she shows us just how ruthless he can be. He‘s willing to kill the epitome of innocence: A child. A defenseless little girl with a cutesy voice, who was just in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

(It‘s also worth a mention that, contrary to Wukong, she revealed a softer side of Macaque. Not to the extent the fandom built it up, but in an arguably more meaningful way. He‘s worried/feels bad for a total stranger. Even if it was only a concerned look, she once again gave us a deeper insight to a member of the main cast.)

And the characters with less focus either have really genuine interactions (Yellow Tusk with Azure) that just endear you to them, or they drop a banger line (like the Jade Emperor) before their purpose is fulfilled.

Nothing wrong with being a plot device if it‘s done well!

This wasn‘t really much of an ask rather than me rambling. Sorry.

I welcome rambles in my ask box! Half of you that show up in my ask box could just write your own analysis posts.

And you're also totally right! There isn't anything wrong with characters that are there just to function as plot devices. Sometimes a child is there just to be a child, and that's all they need to be. I think I feel this way about Megapolis (a name for the city that hasn't even been mentioned in show). Like it's a city filled with innocent people, it's MK & the Gang's home, and that's all it kinda needs to be tbh. LMK has to be extremely tight with what it chooses to focus on because of time constraints, and it does that well. When it comes down to it, focusing on the characters/plot is more important than focusing on the setting (which I think debatably wouldn't contribute much anyways—like we don't need more of a reason to care about the city, you know?).

I have this same opinion when it comes to the Demon Bull Family, which may be an unpopular take, but the truth is that a lot of their development happened off-screen. After ROTSQ and until we see them again in 3x06, it's clear that there have been positive changes between Red Son and his parents. I think I've seen some folk want Red Son to cut off his parents entirely, but that kinda goes against the core of his character. Part of Red Son's appeal for me is his complete devotion to his family despite their flaws (saving them in ROTSQ and EYD, attempting to save them in 4x09). Red Son and Princess Iron Fan only ever wanted world domination because that's what DBK wanted, and after that failed—they gave up. They hit the bricks. Red Son then started a food business with his dad (jealous of MK and Pigsy's noodle shop mayhaps?), and I think it's telling that DBK would even agree to do that to begin with. DBK and PIF's disregard of Red Son may not be acknowledged in the way people want, and I get that, but it's not that it didn't happen. I'd say there's another jump in their development between the end of 3x14 and the beginning of 4x09, where the fact that DBK calls out for Red Son as he gets taken away shows a closeness between them that we hadn't seen before. It's also clear that DBK has grown past the person who only wanted to create the world in his own image, chastising Azure Lion:

Demon Bull King: "How many times must you be struck down chasing this same foolish dream?"

(4x09 Roast of the Monkie Kids)

-

(Plus "This pursuit of yours has warped your mind brother—it is the only reason I could imagine that you would have the nerve to assault my home and harm my family!" echoing PIF in 1x10 "Come to your senses, this power has poisoned your mind!"; Azure unreasonably considers DBK a traitor like DBK had unreasonably considered Red Son a traitor, etc.)

DBK, unlike plenty of other antagonists in LMK (Spider Queen, LBD, and Azure specifically), learned to stop and accept the world as it was. He failed as a conqueror, but he still had his family, and he could try and not fail as a father for his "half-baked son"—or that's how I interpret DBK anyhow.

((I also want to bring up the fact that DBK didn't dare use the Samadhi Fire ring he had to power himself up with Red Son's furnace in AHIB. Like, even the Mr. Bull King has some restraint—there are prices too great to pay for the world, hence why he gave up on world domination after 1x10, when he almost killed his wife and son.))

To me it makes the Demon Bull Family feel like characters that exist outside of MK & the Gang, and can grow/change even when they're not on screen with our main characters, and I think that's cool. We also legitimately didn't have time for anything else.

[frosted-hyacinth]

Red hearts and crimson leaves

feat: Chishiya shuntaro tags: angst cw: mentions of death, blood

You ran, as fast as you could, oxygen quickly flowing in your lungs then just as quickly leaving. The breaths you took were shaky, they were laced with the worry and fear you felt for him. As you ran, the stinging pain in your legs made you limp, droplets or maybe even puddles of blood pulsing from the wound on your leg. You were scared. You knew that Chishiya was there, the place you heard the gunshot from and now all you could do was hope that nothing bad happened to him or at least try to do something even though your help was perhaps unwanted. While you ran, your eyes were glued shut, all the intrusive thoughts coming into your head, the small worry seeded in your mind now overflowing. You didn’t want to face the truth. What if something bad had happened to him? What if he stopped breathing?

Finally arriving at your destination, you heard hurried footsteps. Your eyes opened to find Arisu and Usagi running towards the building with the ‘Queen of Hearts’ hovering above, Niragi, collapsed on the floor and Chishiya. He was sitting, body leaned against a no longer functioning car, his hands covered in blood coming from his abdomen which sent you spiraling into panic.

You quickly knelt beside him, you were quick to ask him if he would be alright. After he had told you that he wouldn’t die, you calmed down a bit, still concerned for the blonde that was indeed, still bleeding out, the blood staining his white hoodie and his pale hand but you didn’t bother to ask anymore. So, the two of you sat together in peaceful silence, one that could drown someone but at the same time, save someone from the grasps of death. You waited, both you and Chishiya waited for the time that Arisu and Usagi would come back, patience now wavering.

⋆⋅ ⋅⋆

Now that you could leave the borderlands, it felt so unreal. After such a long time of enduring the suffering in these lands, it was your new normal to have to play games with your life on the line but nonetheless, you chose to go back. Back to your home. One last time, your eyes met with Chishiya’s. You wanted to say something but nothing came to mind, so before you spoke even a word, he interrupted with a pinky in front of you.

“Don’t forget me. Don’t forget us.”

He said, an uncharacteristic smile on his face. You shook the pinky and replied with another wordless smile before a variety of fireworks with different colours and shapes erupted behind you, then everything went black.

⋆⋅ ⋅⋆

You woke up seeing nothing but white, a colour that looked oddly familiar by heart Chishiya but you couldn't seem to remember what the colour was trying to remind you of. Your arms and legs felt numb and the only conclusion your vision could decide on was that you’d died and were now in heaven but your hearing came back in time for you to hear a steady rhythmic beeping. One that you could recognize to come from a hospital. As your body felt alive again, you opened your eyes to see an empty bed. It wasn’t perfectly made or at least messed up enough that you could tell someone had laid there before, everything still hurt but it was well enough for you to get out of bed.

Shifting to the edge of the bed, you were met with crutches that stood on your bedside which you swiftfully and gratefully grabbed, then proceeded to waddle off for a cup of water to cure your annoying thirst. And if you were still feeling fine, perhaps some food and fresh air which you could hopefully, find after a much enjoyed adventuring of the hospital.

As you finally reached the end of a seemingly never-ending staircase, a light gasp left your lips followed by you freezing. Familiar blonde hair flowed past your face as ‘he’ walked back up. You got the water your throat desperately begged for but you couldn’t bring yourself to do anything else. The hair that passed you by seemed so familiar, it felt like you knew him your whole life, but you couldn’t help yourself from wondering whether you actually knew this man or were just being delusional. In the end, perhaps just so you could sleep, you chalked it up to you just being confused after recently waking up in a hospital.

⋆⋅ ⋅⋆

Months passed since the ‘incident’ happened, an incident that led to you and countless others waking up in a hospital with no recollection of what happened other than the fact that everyone's hearts had stopped. You still pondered on the blonde you had seen at the staircase but just a lot less than at the hospital. Now, here you were, fluffy scarf enveloping your neck, a warm drink in your hands, walking through the now dark park, small white puffs of air that came from your lips. Orange, brown and crimson leaves fell from branches, softly landing on the floor or being led by the wind as you stood there in silence, staring at a blonde stranger. His hair was obviously bleached, you could still see the black roots but all that mattered was that this blonde in question was the one you’d seen at the staircase months ago. 

[thenationaltreasuregazette]

Interpersonal Aftermath: Riley and Patrick Edition

Ben and Patrick | Ben and Abigail | Ben and Riley | Riley and Abigail | Abigail and Patrick |

We continue our relationship aftermath series with Riley and Patrick, and with me once again underestimating how much I had to learn (and to write) from this investigation.

Now, these two have even less interaction then our other low-interaction duos, but let’s work with what we’ve got.

Patrick meets both Riley and Abigail when they show up to his house with Ben after the gala. Initially I thought Patrick would instantly dislike Abigail, but @emmi-kat convinced me that he’d take to her immediately. She also argues that a little bit of that compassion would extend to Riley as well.

I’m inclined to agree, but while I don’t think Patrick dislikes Riley on first meeting, I don’t think he particularly likes him much either.

To review, their first real interaction goes like this:

PATRICK And he dragged you two into this nonsense? ABIGAIL Literally. RILEY I volunteered. PATRICK Well unvolunteer, before you waste your life.

The main difference between Ben’s companions is that Abigail was roped into this nonsense, where Riley is here voluntarily. He joined Ben in the futile quest for treasure, and I imagine Patrick holds that against him, at least a little.

Can’t these guys see how they’re wasting their lives away? he must think. Patrick at least knows why Ben feels compelled to do this. Riley doesn't have generations of family history compelling him to be here. He could, as Patrick puts it, unvolunteer at any time.

That doesn’t mean Patrick doesn’t think Riley is smart. After all, he knows that Ben is smart, but that was never the problem. It didn’t help that Ben had the patience and the mind to study deeply and try to unravel the clues, but it’s his bullheaded dedication to the cause that has Patrick most concerned.

It’s an interesting question how much of this same determination he senses in Riley. After all, Riley just helped Ben steal the Declaration of Independence. He’s as all-in as you can be. And yet he’s in more because he wasn’t going to let Ben do this alone, not only because he has a blind belief in the treasure.

The fact that Riley doesn’t recognize the Ottendorf cypher might give Patrick a little hope for Riley. I think Patrick would find it reassuring that Riley isn’t a die-hard treasure hunter, at least not in the same way that Ben is.

And of course, there’s this gem, which is one of my favorite lines of the movie:

Patrick isn’t exactly impressed with Riley either. But then again, this isn’t a situation where Riley can show off his skill sets. In this scene, he’s fulfilling his everyman function with no tech in sight. He really is just “some guy” who Ben has tagging along.

I would expect most of Patrick’s frustrations to remain on Ben, but he doesn’t have a lot of reason to like Riley yet either. In the tension of the evening, I doubt Riley’s signature sense of humor isn’t even registering for Patrick.

They don’t meet again until it’s time to go down into Trinity Church, and even then they don’t interact directly until after the stairs collapse.

However, when they do, it’s Patrick patting Riley reassuringly on the shoulder and saying

PATRICK It's OK, kiddo.

after Ian leaves them in the pit.

That’s a pretty big shift from “What do you have, him?” So what changed? Well directly, as we’ve seen, almost nothing—Riley and Patrick haven’t interacted since. However, their circumstances have changed a lot.

I would argue that this fatherly instinct from Patrick is a result of three factors. One, everybody almost died a minute ago, particularly Ben, who was in peril for the longest. Patrick is probably feeling a lot of feelings about his son and the years they lost being estranged from each other. Some of this fatherly affection transfers over to Riley.

Second, the thrill/peril of the treasure hunt has awakened something in Patrick that he thought died a long time ago. In his worldview, this staircase should not be real. Hiding some artifacts is one thing, but secretly excavating a five story pit in the middle of Manhattan is a long way to go to prank the British. He must be starting to feel some of his long-extinguished hope that the treasure is real. This puts him in a good mood, hence “Kiddo.”

And third, even though their direct interactions have been limited, Patrick has spent enough time with Riley at this point to get a sense of Riley’s personality. And who wouldn’t love Riley Poole?

He might not realize it yet, but Patrick is bringing Ben back into his life, and taking everyone Ben cares about with him.

And what does Riley think of Patrick?

Although they had never met, I think that Riley has expectations of Patrick that trend toward the negative. In the 2003 script Riley explicitly knows about Ben’s tense relationship with his father before we meet Patrick on screen.

Outside the Archives he says

RILEY All right. I’m sorry. I know I'm not supposed to talk about your dad.

Now, Riley’s a slightly different character in the older script, and he has a slightly different relationship with Ben—Riley actually takes on more of a mastermind role—so it’s not a guarantee that any related details would be the same. We know, at the very least, that Riley knows enough to know that Ben is thinking about going to his dad’s when they’re in the park.

RILEY Ben, you know what you have to do.

It’s possible Riley knows any amount of detail about Ben and Patrick’s relationship between “My dad and I don’t see eye to eye about the treasure” to full details of their falling out, Patrick’s perpetual disappointment with his son, etc.

So when he goes to the door with Ben and Abigail, Riley knows he’s about to walk into something but he might not know exactly what. Then Patrick insults Abigail (Is she pregnant?), Ben a bunch of times, and Riley himself (What do you have, him?) and Riley can’t be having a great impression of Patrick.

So I imagine the “Kiddo” moment marks a "oh, this guy's actually alright" on both sides.

Going forward, I don’t know that they’d get particularly close—Patrick has much more in common with Abigail, after all—but I imagine that Riley and Patrick get along just fine. Patrick will always think Riley is a bit hapless, and Riley will always think Patrick is a bit uptight, but Patrick respects the lengths Riley will go for Ben, and Riley is glad for both of them that Ben and Patrick are on a better footing now.

“He’s a weird, goofy little man, but he’s my son’s weird, goofy little man” 🤝 “I just wanna impress my treasure hunt father-in-law/new adopted history dad”

[omamervt]

This is gonna come off as a weird rant probably but that's fine. I'm not looking for advice, really, I just feel the need to say it.

I've been given praise in the past for managing 3 different socials for LiteralCatPod, but the truth is, it really is the biggest strain of producing the show. I've talked in the past about how thinly spread LiteralCatPod is on socials, and how I feel like I'm not doing enough for any of them. And this has prompted people to tell me about stuff like Postybirb, which I'm sure is all done out of a genuine place of wanting to help, but mass-posting tools are really only helpful when your posts are all formatted the same, and LiteralCatPod's can't be.

Outside Tumblr, linking to other sites will get your post de-prioritized in the algorithm, so to show devs that someone's thinking about their game, and to help our audience find its source without having our posts buried, we tag creators as much as possible. We also obviously tag collaborators. This is important to us because if you ignore the big corporate/licensed games, TTRPGs are a niche scene, with one specific game sucking up most of the oxygen in it. Even if we're making light of the process, I think people would like to know that someone is showing some love to at least one aspect of their game.

Tagging gets tricky when people have different usernames on different sites, sites format their usernames in different ways, and not everyone has a presence on every site we post to. So I can't pre-format a bunch of posts, and while it might be possible to schedule posts on Tumblr, the fact that I can't schedule a thread on Twitter or Bluesky means that I have to post those all manually. And while I wouldn't call myself lucky to be under-employed, I am lucky to be free the mornings my show releases so that I can manually make those posts.

and like, I'm genuinely not sure what I can do about it. Manually posting to 3 sites can easily take an hour every other wednesday morning, and I've never once successfully dragged myself out of bed in time to start posting when the episode actually airs, it's always a couple hours later. And maybe that doesn't actually make a difference, I don't know. But it often doesn't feel like the posts are making a difference anymore either. Twitter gives increasingly diminishing returns but it's still used by more RPG publishers than Bluesky or Tumblr. Some of them are on Threads but that's a bigger privacy nightmare than the YouTube app and, being a Facebook product, it's almost entirely pay-to-win, and there's no way in hell I jump into that. I feel like the show's reach on Tumblr is entirely at the whim of a handful of popular TTRPG gimmick blogs, which nevertheless rarely translates to new listeners. And Bluesky... I've never figured out Bluesky. It looks like Twitter, the users act like it's Twitter, down to the toxic, controlling, manipulative behavior surrounding who you follow and what posts you like, but the site is functionally not Twitter, at least not yet. Never tried Mastodon, I know a lot of people like it but the decentralized structure just seems like too much of a mess to wade into, and everyone who's tried to reassure me about my concerns just make it sound worse.

I created the public Discord because... well we were thinking about it anyway and ultimately it serves a practical purpose but I really put in the work on it because Tumblr's CEO was putting people through it over here for a bit and that seems to have died down (or at least, people talking about it has, that doesn't necessarily mean much.) But anyway at the time I was just frustrated because I had already watched my potential audience fragment from one site to three, and facing the possibility of it fragmenting to 4-6 just felt like too much.

TL;DR, I chose the three social sites that I did because I know that when Twitter's audience fragmented, most of the ones who left flocked here or to Bluesky. And it feels like abandoning any of them would mean abandoning a big chunk of potential audience. But idk. Right now it seems like a lot for little return to continue trying to reach them all. If I got to have a cool conversation about an RPG once every couple weeks out of it it'd all be worth it. But so far I'm not so lucky.

[rainintheevening]

How Qui-Gon saves Anakin (and the Galaxy): Part 3

(You can find the other parts by searching the tag #qui-gon is obi-wan's father au, at the bottom. With the hyphens.)

-Qui-Gon dies about two years into the war.

-Anakin takes it hard. He's really happy being married, and he and Obi-Wan are closer than ever, but the war sucks, and it's dragging on, and now he has to say goodbye to his grandfather, who he's loved and leaned on for over half his life.

-Totally gonna write a scene for this.

-Anakin gets kinda clingy with both Obi-Wan and Padmé after that, though he tries not to be obvious about it. Obi-Wan is kind but reasonable about it. Padmè is equally kind, but him wanting to know exactly where she's going on a given day, or who she's going to be with, does get irritating.

-But in the wake of Qui-Gon's death, Palpatine pounces. There's a big hole in Anakin’s life, and Palptine is no Qui-Gon, but he is kind, and he listens, and he shares Anakin’s concerns about the war and the state of the Republic.

-Anakin is definitely struggling emotionally as we get into the events of RotS. He's not nearly so close to the dark side as in canon, he's not hanging out in the middle between Palpatine and the Jedi, but Palpatine’s coaxing him toward the bridge, he's getting to the edge of solid ground. (Yes, he's not technically a Jedi, but he's been functioning the same as all the rest in the war. They're still all his friends and family, he cares about them plenty.)

-One thing Anakin does a lot is have conversations with Qui-Gon in his head. Rants, jokes, musings on the local flora and fauna. Lots of 'I miss you's.

-Palpatine arranging his kidnapping at Grievous's hands is his first big test of Anakin’s loyalty to him. Siccing Anakin on Dooku is really what will tell Palpatine if trying to turn him will be worth it.

-Anakin still kills Dooku. This would be the first time he's really accessed the dark side. Immediately feels sick to his stomach, but throttles that guilt. Makes himself focus on rescuing Palpatine and Obi-Wan. But after it's like he can feel Qui-Gon's eyes on him, those Dad Special 'I'm not angry, just incredibly disappointed' eyes. He mentally snaps at Qui-Gon, tries to justify killing the man who was his master. Grumbles about not talking to Obi-Wan. Finally sighs, and thinks, Later. I'll talk to him later, I want to see my WIFE.

-Being able to tell Obi-Wan about Padmé being pregnant will be a massive plus! Also word getting round to the rest of the Jedi and everyone going, "Oh no, another Skywalker?!"

-With Anakin not being a member of the Order the whole business of getting appointed to the council gets shot. I'm still unsure how to spin all the political stuff and still make Palps look clever. I'm not politically clever in the least.

-Also since Anakin and Padmé are openly married, there's no real reason not to talk to Obi-Wan about his nightmare visions of Padmé screaming in the throes of childbirth (my dude, just 'cause she's screaming doesn't mean she's dying). But maybe he struggles with his own pride, not wanting to admit his fear to Obi-Wan. He's probably been trying very hard in the past year, since Qui-Gon died, to prove how grown up he can be. (Kinda ridiculous alongside how clingy he is sometimes.) He really wishes Qui-Gon was there.

-Maybe Obi-Wan comes over for dinner, and Anakin dozes off on the couch 'cause he has not been sleeping. Teases Padmé by putting his head in Obi-Wan’s lap, and his feet in hers. Jerks awake from another vision, almost kicking Padmé, and scaring her. Obi-Wan pries the story out of him. Okay, here's another scene I need to write.

-So Anakin’s getting Obi-Wan’s advice, getting reminded of Qui-Gon's advice about the future and his visions. Padmé gets checked out by the Temple healers on Anakin’s request, and she's absolutely fine.

-Obi-Wan goes to Utapau the same. Anakin is torn between wanting to go with him and worrying about Padmé. Obi-Wan chuckles a bit at that, and tells Anakin, he's honoured, but Anakin’s duty is to his wife, and didn't they say something about twins having a tendency to come early? So he should probably stick around.

-And Palptine knows he's gotta make his move fast or he's going to lose Anakin. Anakin still isn't sleeping well, cause the visions don't just stop. Palpatine calls him in, does his big reveal. Appeals to Anakin with the promise of being able to save Padmé for sure for sure. (So stupid because of course you can't control the future, but the offer sounds pretty darn tempting to a frustrated and worried Anakin.)

-That all kinda goes the same. Anakin reacts to the Sith Lord reveal, gets talked down, doesn't say a whole lot, takes Palps advice to think on it.

-He goes back to the Temple, tells Mace. I think he would be particularly torn over the idea of Palpatine being the Sith lord, because he's always held onto a seed of hatred for the Sith, because it was a Sith who wounded Qui-Gon so severely, in a way that eventually led to his death, at a time when Anakin felt like he'd never needed both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan in his life more. And now a man he thought was a friend is the Number One Sith, possibly even was behind Darth Maul?? But then he was promising Anakin certainty about Padmé's life, which he could really use these days. He's confused, really not sure who to trust, or who's telling the truth. Of course he begs to go with Mace to arrest Palpatine. Mace looks him dead in the eye, says, "I know he's your friend. If he is the Sith Lord, will you be willing to do whatever it takes to stop him?" Anakin hesitates longer than two seconds, and Mace shakes his head. "Than I don't want you being forced to make that decision in the heat of a moment. You're staying here."

-This is still the crucial moment, the tipping point. Anakin’s tempted, sorely tempted to believe Palpatine. But... more than anything he wishes he could talk to Qui-Gon. It's been over a year since he last heard his grandpa's voice, last felt that gentle hand on his shoulder. He waits in the Council chamber and he's alone, so he starts talking to Qui-Gon out loud. Begging for advice, for Qui-Gon to tell him what he should do.

-It takes him a minute or two to realize that his imagined responses from Qui-Gon are just a little... louder, quicker, and more direct than usual. It sounds like Qui-Gon is actually TALKING to him, and then he can hear that familiar chuckle, an incredibly familiar brush of warm, tempered strength and gentleness in the Force, and he pretty much falls over. Thumps down into a chair (pure coincidence that it's Obi-Wan’s usual seat).

-This changes everything.

-I will be writing this scene.

-They talk. Qui-Gon's reminders of the truth are like breathing clean air or drinking fresh water, after subsisting on smoke or engine oil for a while. Anakin gets his feet back on solid ground. He makes his choice.

-He goes to fight Palpatine. Helps Mace. Palpatine dies, but not directly by a blow from Anakin. Probably deflected Force lightning.

-Order 66 gets averted. Obi-Wan comes home safe. The babies are born. Padmé has a hard labour, but she's fine.

-And to make a long story short, they lived happily ever after. :)

[lovingoverwatchguys]

Random tangent: ‘Soldier 76′ is just as much of an image as ‘Strike Commander Morrison’ was

I think people often do Jack a huge disservice when they ‘analyze’ him by taking his image at face value. Often, to understand his thoughts, you can’t take his word for it, and have to look at what he’s feeling beneath.

Let me explain a bit. (Under a read more because I don’t want to clog up any tags with super long posts)

Why would you be able to take his word? Jack has never been able to express himself fully in his entire adult life. He had to put on the image of ‘Strike Commander Morrison’, the beacon of positivity and strict commander, for decades. Because Jack has a massive martyr complex, and he sacrificed being an authentic person because he thought that was what the world needed. The world wanted ‘Strike Commander’; he thought it couldn’t care less about ‘Jack’.

Most people seem to be aware of that, yet they still take ‘Soldier: 76′ at face value as how he actually feels, and it baffles me. No, it’s a (literal and theoretical) mask, just a different one.

Look at how he acts in the Bastet story; he’s willing to crack jokes and have fun with Ana, smiling and saying silly things, to the point that even Ana says he’s “like a child sometimes.”

But that makes sense when you think of his relationship with Ana - as his closest friend, she got to see beneath the mask of ‘Strike Commander Morrison’, and she still can see under this one, too. (Honestly, I think Ana would see right through Jack anyway; he’s not as good at hiding his emotions as he thinks he is)

In fact, image seems to be a theme in Bastet in general - note the way that Ana puts on a new mask to become a protector. It’s the same thing Jack did. He wants to help people, and he thinks this is the best way to do it. Just like before - the world needs ‘Soldier: 76′, and he thinks it couldn’t care less about ‘Jack’.

‘Soldier: 76′ is not a person. He’s a name. An image. (Also, they are so cute. I love them. A cool girl and her gay best friend.)

And to be honest, I think some of the other characters can see through him, to an extent. This interaction has always caught my eye:

What Jack says might sound condescending at first glance, but when you think about the fact that Jack's whole deal is "fighting so other people don't have to"...it makes me think he's concerned for her and doesn't like that she has to fight here. 

I think Mei picks up on that, and that’s why her response is a bit teasing. Tracer does the same with the ‘Okay, dad!’ interaction. The two of them can tell he’s more of a pushover than he lets on, no matter how desperately he tries to hide it.

But I also argue that Soldier: 76 isn’t just an image done out of necessity. I don’t think even Jack himself is aware of this, but it seems very convenient that by donning an aggressive face that shuts other people out, he doesn’t have to let others close to him. 

Some people don’t seem to consider the immense amount of trauma both the fall of Overwatch and the Swiss Base explosion would cause for him. He was surrounded by constant public degradation for months to years. He saw everything he worked for get undone largely because of negative public opinion and betrayal, and was then in a serious disaster that likely had many casualties.

After something like that happens, I doubt he feels safe letting almost anyone close at all. This mask doubly functions to protect him from getting hurt in such a horrible way again. And devoting all of his thoughts and emotion to this moral crusade means he doesn’t have to face all of the real emotional issues he has. It is, as the kids say, a cope.

None of this is to say Jack isn’t bitter or angry. And I’m sure as hell not saying he’s emotionally healthy. He needs more therapy than almost anyone else in the cast.

But so many people only give Jack a surface-level analysis, and I think that’s lame. Ironically, taking the image at face value would in-universe just prove his bad worldview. Life imitates art.