#a LITTLE bit insane perhaps!!
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loop 51
night
#hmswposting#chonny jash#cj heart#cj mind#cj soul#cccc#cccctober#every time i watch the night & light music video again i notice something new...............#H E. PUTSON HIS BLINDFOLD .. AT “COLD BUT IM OUTSIDE AND WAITING TO SEE” IM ......andcovering his eyes at “ever is the light on” i MIGHT be#a LITTLE bit insane perhaps!!
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I’d like to propose a performance of Hamlet in which the audience is addressed, looked at, and treated as if they were there but ONLY by characters who have gone mad.
in Act 2, when Hamlet’s pretending to go mad, while in the presence of Polonius and others, he sort of pretends to look at the audience, but always glancing over, looking sort of in the wrong direction, putting on a show for the only eyes he thinks are watching. When he’s alone and doing his soliloquies, it’s clear that he’s talking to himself, even though we’re listening in.
And it continues this way until Act 3 Scene 4, when Hamlet runs Polonius through with the sword. For a moment after the deed is done, there’s a shocked silence on the stage. As Hamlet goes to examine the body, he falters, slightly, as he becomes aware of just how many eyes are on him. And slowly; he looks at us, and through the rest of the scene his attention is torn between the audience and his mother, until the ghost appears (perhaps in the audience as well) and he’s… sort of put back on track. But from then on, all his soliloquies, asides, he begins to talk to us, in the audience.
And we notice the change, sure, but we don’t really get what it means, not until Ophelia goes mad, and while onstage she begins to give audience members flowers, to talk to them as the others call her crazy. And at that point most of us can make the connection.
From then until the play is over, Hamlet can’t fully ignore us. Every other character will, and does (besides maybe the gravediggers if you wanted to include anyone else), but we’re ever present in his sight. As he dies, we’re the ones he refers to when he says ‘you that look pale and tremble at this chance, that are but mutes or audience to this act’
#hamlet#shakespeare#am i a hamlet goes a little bit mad truther? perhaps#i just love to explore motifs of insanity in various forms of media#and i have some more opinions on how I’d adapt this to film
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why are blowjobs so hot . it's awfully hard to focus on the words i'm supposed to be writing when my hand is literally reaching for the vibrator in my drawer on its own.
#easiest way to break me fr#giving and receiving#it's fucking insane#give me a fucking break omfg#(this is abt oikawa)(and perhaps a little bit of iwa too)#mayor of loserville
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laying here spinning in my head 1/adaine's new gf meets riz for the first time fic or 2/riz and baron fake dating for event thing fic maybe I just wanna think abt future stuff for my guy. just pure thinkin bout him chillin kickin ass
#not art#just realized Ive been typing on this document for an hour already lmao#adaines new gf is a warforged archival worker btw. she just appeared in my brain unprompted#I just think itd be funny for adaine's gf to have met and hung out with everyone in the party Except for riz#and riz seems normal and boring from what shes seen of him but every story she hears abt him is like#fully insane. and then she meets him and hes solidly both#I just think. a fic abt how every bad kid partner also immediately becomes a honorary proxy bad kid would be#good for riz's nerves eventually he realizes that like oh when my friends date that just means more friends for me#baron Is in riz's office throughout this fic however. thats my vision#the riz baron fake dating fic is fully it just idea rn but I think itd be fun to see#riz accepting his fear and then immediately weaponizing it#goes to an event where the people there supposedly hate his guts no matter how hard he conforms#and then slowly unleashing baron upon them#a bit too high concept for my brain atm but perhaps. eventually. itll get written#the first one is like 1k+ in already lmao. sometimes I do a little writing#eh. its for fun anyways I get at this when I want to. we'll see! for now. beautiful vision in my mind
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"don't you ever have a dream that almost a consistent one because there's the same people from previous dreams in there in the same place, only it's different events, and you don't know the people but they feel and look familiar to you and dream you knows them and all the dreams seem connected because they're in their weird big concrete building with what looks like a show or something being made in it and the people look weird and the people aren't even your neighbors who you are around constantly, they're different people entirely, and like you wake up and barely remember what happened?"
"..... Please tell me I'm not the only one, I need to know I'm not thinking too hard about this."
#ghost puppets timeline#shit howdy you good?#he may perhaps think he's going insane a little bit#shbo! howdy blog#welcome home
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Completely self indulgent post but here's one of the post-canon scenarios I have in my head for G Gundam.
Maybe skip this post if you don't like dark themes. Not all of what I've outlined is dark (most of it isn't), but I do cross the line past what appears in the show in regards to DG cells and abduction.
The shuffles all get roped into restoration projects on Earth between the 13th and 14th gundam fights, partially to have something to do alongside their training, partially out of inspiration by the common points of the Kasshus' and Master Asia's goals, and partially because netting their countries some decent publicity is likely to earn them favors during the Gundam Fight's off-years.
Sai is contacted by Kyral about an effort to clear out the infamous buildup of trash and cadavers on Everest; he wants Sai to leverage Neo China's help as something of a reparation kind of deal and Sai goes sure why not.
Sai recruits Argo because Bolt Gundam is built to withstand the cold, and he thinks Argo and Nastasha could help reverse engineer that quality to enable the use of their Gundams as both heavy work equipment and protection from the harsh environmental conditions that normally prevent this kind of operation.
George gets involved because someone he knows has a distant relative who died on the mountain a century ago, and they wanted him to check in with the forensics team on the project. This detail is important because eventually it becomes clear that there is a mystery to solve (that I myself haven't figured out all the details of yet but broadly know the setup and conclusion); DG-infected people are disappearing and not being investigated due to stigma. Our heroes are naturally going to be pissed about this, and will need an "in" with the field if they want to do anything about it.
First massively self-indulgent element: The forensics/body identification team inexplicably includes the real-world author Kathy Reichs, who somehow exists in this universe, and there's a little side bit about her having written a Bones book right before the 12th fight that featured a cooked cadaver found inside a gundam after entry into the Earth's atmosphere. There are a lot of weird coincidences in the book that parallel the DG incident, which creeps everyone out, but the similarities are merely born of the writer threading the needle of being believable and interesting in a way that became very true to life.
What does become relevant is when the Shuffles eventually meet up, she's able to explain the implications of a bunch of weird shit the fighters discovered (also Marie Louise read her book, and one of the in-universe liberties Reichs took writing about the gundams' black boxes that she explains in the afterword leads to ML realizing something important; that Neo Germany does not have its gundam's remains.)
While the Everest project is happening, Domon, Chibodee, and Allenby all want to continue their training somewhere on Earth, and receive a proposal from (an OC of mine who is) a historic preservationist (and an acquaintance of Allenby's): she has acquired the grounds of an abandoned castle in Europe* after submitting a plan to restore it, and needs to hire people to help with the labor.
*the castle is probably somewhere in Germany because I also want this pitch to have drama over Schwarz (pre-13th fight), Schwarz (Kyoji), and Schwarz (the next guy who was supposed to inherit the mask when the older ninja retired). Also Germany is fucking pretty.
In exchange for the help of the three gundam fighters, they and Rain get paid, plus room and board anywhere on the grounds, plus full access to the grounds and miles of sparsely-inhabited countryside for training purposes, and the privacy and ability to practice with their gundams that comes with being in the middle of fucking nowhere. Rain sets herself up to work a clinic in the next town over as well as practicing pro re nata wilderness medicine (I'm convinced every medic supporting the gundam fight would need to be able to do this.)
The group involved in the Castle project sticks around for a time, makes some good progress, and engage in occasional Shenanigans that come up when you put a bunch of weirdos in a Situation.
They aren't in town a lot save for Rain, but when they are they eventually start to pick up on gossip and news about the Mysterious Disappearances correlated with DG cell infection (as well as details that turn out to be important later). Eventually Rain brings this to Domon and Chibodees' attention and they decide that, yeah, this is tied to the DG, this is their problem, they should convene with the rest of the Shuffle Alliance about it.
Also of course Schwarz is involved because I'm the one writing this; the culprits' DG-tissue harvesting operation relies on having him captured and helpless, using cells from his body to "update" other victims' DG infections to a less aggressive strain. One thing I haven't decided is whether I want a reinstantiated Wong to head this shit, or make up my own morally bankrupt opportunistic asshole looking to twist the DG to their own benefits. I also need to decide where on the planet the center of all this insanity is, and it needs to be a place that isn't going to have any unfortunate implications (because that's a genuine risk with dark story elements)
... That's about as much as I have that is thought-out enough for me to explain. I return to thinking about this scenario a lot because it puts most of the characters way out of their element (and has a bunch of details that appeal to me specifically), and it kind of evolved into an incomplete plot outline that I don't currently have any plans to flesh out.
I think it's an interesting enough direction to go, because it follows through with a lot of the themes present in G, but takes advantage of the genre shift to avoid DBZ-crazy power scaling and adjusts the conflict more to a matter of where the main characters' prowess is most effective (Both in and out of the gundams. I'm assuming there are a ton of guys similar to Michelo's gang that just need fighting interspersed with everything else I described. In fact, kicking Some Group of Douchebags out of their protection racket is probably how team Castle even gets ahold of evidence related to missing persons.)
#G gundam#fanfic#fanfiction#G Gundam spoilers#dark themes#''What's another thing a villain in the Future Century might do to abuse DG cells? Perhaps an organ market but for cybernetics?''#Additional thoughts:#I believe with all of my heart that Marie Louise from G Gundam is a mystery fanatic#and would become an investigative journalist raking insane muck if she weren't a prominent public figure.#She's too nosy and eager to get her hands dirty to not be!#I put the OC I mentioned in fucking Everything I touch because she's so useful.#She can play host and provisioner to basically any plot or crossover I need her to and be exactly the amount of present or absent I want.#This OC is the one who I've mentioned on my blog before who does blacksmithing#and learned Tamahagane production out of spite to reclaim metal from weapons she made that other people have fucked-up.#I feel like this character and Domon would have some *very* entertaining interactions given that sword of his.#My girl would make ASSUMPTIONS that Domon would get really fucking offended by.#rambling in the tags#my OCs#headcanons#Edit: a little bit after writing this up I was asked to write out some of the scenes with my OC in them. I might post them at some point.#but if I do that right now I'll get distracted and not finish adding my new rambling in the tags tag to make my stuff more findable
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Stargazing
GUESS WHO WAS STUPID AND DECIDED TO STAY UP EATING TIRAMISU AND STARGAZING UNTIL 1AM
:D
This is a silly messy rambly post because while I initially intended to stay up all night if necessary to see the asteroid I only ended up photographing til midnight and I’ve got a camera roll FULL of photos but I’ll sort through them tomorrow to put together a cute aesthetic-y post
I snapped shots of the night sky without the telescope early in the evening:
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(The brightest star in the middle is the asteroid Ganymed, I tried to take this picture as steadily as I could. Just above and to the slight left of the tree you can see a small cluster of stars - the Pleiades!! I wanted to get a close telescope shot of them but alas by the time I got properly set up they’d moved out of range)
Alhamdulilah this camera really captures the view I get on a clear night, I can see stars quite well. The sky was so wonderfully clear tonight Alhamdulilah ^_^ oh I feel ecstatic my first proper stargazing session ever and it was just- breathtaking
When I saw the asteroid properly, close up, I gasped in amazement
Despite my best efforts, I struggled to perfectly capture the asteroid because by attaching my phone to the telescope it destabilises it so I had to hold it steady and… I mean I’m not perfect
But I did the best job I could ^_^
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Same for, what I believe was the half moon and Mars close by? I forgot to check the app by this time but I’m pretty sure it was Mars
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Cool artsy shot of the telescope (and my starry jumper yes it’s just hung up there) with the moon and Mars in the background
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Okay I’ll have to reblog with the rest of the great photos bc photo limit but also I’m tired
Today has been a long long long long day and it has been extremely taxing so on the one hand it was stupid as hell to stay up like this
On the other hand. My soul needed a rest and cleanse as much as my body does
#star speaks#astrophotography#also yes I do need to leave early at 7am to get to class good of you to notice :D#I’m going a little bit insane but screw it#I think my soul needs enchantment with stars and nature more than#my mind and body needs sanity#perhaps the two aren’t mutually exclusive but#clearly I’m too sleep deprived to be sensible right now
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New Scotland Yard: The Come Back (1.2, LWT, 1972)
"This wasn't a sudden impulse. It was deliberate and calculated. He had to break in to get at the old man, and then - well, you saw what he did to him. I don't know if he's a psycho or not, but I do know he's a sadist and I know what treatment I'd hand out."
"Yeah, I can guess."
"It's the only way."
"You've a right to your opinion, just don't try and convert me."
"I wouldn't dream of it, I know what you think."
"I think it's just as well your job ends when we catch him."
#new scotland yard#the come back#1972#lwt#classic tv#tony hoare#tony wharmby#john woodvine#john carlisle#barry warren#claire warren#kenneth cranham#betty romaine#kenneth colley#robert hartley#mark dowse#geoffrey morris#shelagh wilcocks#after a thoughtful and provocative opener‚ this second episode feels a little more run of the mill; a classic 'villain out for revenge on#those who put him away'. we do get a little bit of debate about the possibility or not of reform whilst imprisoned‚ but it's brief stuff#where the meat of the episode is just identifying and tracking down the 'bad guy' (a young Ken Cranham; similarly not enough#time is devoted to considering the mental health of his character and why exactly he has become dangerously violent during his time#inside...). one odd thing; the first episode sort of established Carlisle's character as having some socialist sympathies‚ putting him at#odds with the greyly impartial (but probably vaguely conservative‚ with a small c) Woodvine. weirdly‚ their politics appear to have#switched entirely here; Woodvine is reticent to demonise Cranham without solid proof of his involvement‚ expresses some sympathy#for his situation‚ whilst his subordinate Carlisle is now apparently in favour of the death penalty and dismisses the idea#of an insanity defence out of hand‚ sneering that it's a cop out abused by serial criminals. perhaps it's just that this is early days#and different writers are playing with these characters that aren't entirely nailed down yet‚ but it's a weird contrast to their respective#positions in the previous ep. Warren returns as Woodvine's journalist brother in law‚ so it looks like that's a recurring role#and poor Ken Colley gets rather underused as an informant (or grass as Woodvine puts it)
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#so if anyone cares the thing I’ve beeen so insanely stressed about for weeeks and have written about 20 poems about has Arrived. yeah#i think. i have very mixed feelings in my stomach. i don’t know if i’m ready to process it all yet maybe cause it’s 2am and one of the#latest I’ve stayed up in a while. but yeah. maybe tomorrow. maybe never. maybe I’ll live the rest of july and early august#in just. this. state. yeah :) but I’m okay I think. I’m alright. I’m okay.#i think i will reread kind things people have said to me tonight#so if you’re reading this and have said something even just a little bit nice to me#i’ll be thinking of you tonight. thank you :)#i should probably go to sleep now. gonna go listen to a lullaby perhaps !!!#goodnight :) I’ll be ok. I’ll b ok
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i’d noticed for a long time that fans have a tendency to infantilize goku and i never quite understood how so many people came to that conclusion,, because Z goku is silly but he’s also like rly masculine and brave to me 😭 but anyway now that i’m watching super i think i get where that trend came from lol.. goku is definitely so so silly in a different way than he was in Z, and i’m not saying that that’s a bad thing necessarily (i dont love it but also i have heavy bias lol) but i am saying that after seeing how he’s handled in super, it’s less surprising to me that people have a tendency to treat goku like he’s this weird totally innocent surface level guy .. do u guys get what im saying or am i crazy
#like. okay….#its not entirely a bad thing that goku is so silly in super bc. hes GOKU.. he IS silly#but sometimes his silliness extends a little bit past what Z goku’s wouldve..#again it isnt always a bad thing cuz i love when goku is goofy.. hes my silly guy#but also i think if it’s overdone it kind of flanderizes him#goku is a complex character but so much of his complexity is like. not surface level so like#making it surface level in super is just disappointing#IDK MAYBE IM OVERTHINKING IT. perhaps im insane#ness watches super
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ace 🤝 jack
covering themselves in blood for the bit
#in conclusion? they are a little bit insane#not complaining. they both looked good in it#oh i was about to make a very bad joke about mary and blood. nope i probably shouldnt right#leave those to ace perhaps#ace o'spades#jack-off hearts#andomeda speaks
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GUYSUGYUYSUS IM GOING TO MIKU EXPO 2024 EUEUIAEAIHE
MY MOM GOT ME TICKETS FOR ORLAMOD ON MAY 2 ANND SHE AID ITS FOR MY BBIRTDHAY AEVEN THOUHG MY BIRTHDAY SIN DECEMEBER!?!??!?!! EUEUEUEUEU MY FIRST MIKKU SCONCERT IM SSO EXCITED!?!?!?!??!
#MIKU EXPO 2024#IM GOING TO MIKU EXPO#IM GOING CRAZY#IM GOING FERAL#MAYBE EVEN A LITTLE BIT OFF MY ROCKER#INSANE PERHAPS#IM SCREAAAAMING UEUEUE#IM SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP AND DYING IM SO HAPPY
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sorry for getting sentimental already but. i will carry this album with me. i will listen to this album at 30 and i will feel like i am 20 again and maybe my life will be better and maybe it will be worse but fall out boy will be there. like they have been there for the last decade. like they will be there for the next one. this album will mean something to me for a very long time i think
#this is to me now what infinity on high was then i think. that was my first favorite fob album i dunno if ive mentioned that.#but it rocked my shit and changed my life and i my life is perhaps changing again for reasons related and unrelated to fob and i just .#i feel like this is significant yknow. this is a little trinket i will put in the china cabinet i keep in my heart and i will keep it there#and pull it out and look at it and it will be a little part of me yknow.#i sound a bit insane maybe. maybe i am. i dunno. this feels important to me in a way i am perhaps not getting across well. i am just. <3.#fall out boy forever <3
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finally getting myself to finish the toll and i forgot how good this series is
#‘ a rambling mess ‘ - ooc.#rowan and citra. feeling a little bit insane they’re so in love#also feeling a little insane abt rand. perhaps. a little. she’s just so strange (affectionate)#also in the back of my head thinking abt katrina as a scythe. probably just gonna be like my youn.g eli.tes au where it’s a Concept that i#don’t ever do anything with but it’s There. i need to think abt who her namesake would be#rowan dam.isch you really are one of the guys of all time#waiting for my first class to start good morning everyone i hope u have a good day !
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i see the gorjus guy and i literally cannot believe my eyes i think hes even more beautiful than the other beautiful men i have seen in university thus far
#recency bias perhaps#but like#it’s so crazy#u guys would not believe#i feel like if you follow me we must have at least a little bit of similar taste#and when i say this guy is gorjus i mean GORJUS#so even if we didnt. u people would understand me#i usually will see cute guys and be like oh ok hes cute#even the only guy i actually ever liked at uni#like he was adorable#and i still like him as a person way more than all others#but this new man is insane#i literally cant even explain it#just wow#WOW
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You want a real rush?
Be sitting on the throne dropping a deuce and hear a fucking angry 180 lb bull mastiff attacking a puppy that weighs less than 20 pounds
Underwear draped around my ankles I get up and hop twice to get out of the bathroom, standing I and jumping a three foot dog gate into the kitchen, quick hops across the kitchen; another jump over a wooden dog gate and two hops to tackle a 180 lb dog and clamp that mother fucker in a head lock with one leg trapped keeping my head so tight against his lower neck I was clear of his angry fat head and mouth(this was a very large mother fucking dog) and pulled the behemoth off the puppy while putting my hand out to keep the puppy away from the mouth.
And then I am sitting there with my dick hanging out, an ass in need of wiping, my underwear at this point twisted around my ankles and a huge angry dog in my clutches.
I am like, "KNOCK THAT SHIT OFF MOTHER FUCKER OR I WILL KILL YOU"
And my large dog returned to a normal state of temperament. I was able to finish taking a shit with an adrenaline dump.
Oh and I did get to wipe my ass eventually.
#perhaps a cast I don't remember#did I save the puppy's life perhaps but there was no thought it was all action#it's funny looking back seeing it yanno but that shit was fucking insane when it happened#like old fathead having dreams of Merlin beating his ass when he was a pup#not biting or attacking him#but it was funny as shit watching a 40 pound dog roll an idiotic 120 pound dufus#like something set that dog off that day#it is a shame those things only get about 5 maybe 6 good years before their size is their own downfall#just feed him sedatives was their solution*shrugs*#all the hounds of hell will obey me when the time calls#I put a bit of myself in my dogs#always gotta get a new puppy as soon as the other leaves like people are like cats are ao smart#shit dogs got people too#it is more of an empathy thing a different intelligence#cats are just clever little assholes#wow it cam jump up on something and bat shit#it is also stupid to go hide in an inescapable palm tree#like outdoor cats are fine unless one jumps in your arms and won't let the fuck go#kneading my shit#meeooolow#like ok you don't even know me cat#me considering the shapes of 11 amd 13 though yanno#if something makes Cannon happy she is gonna be like yo what's going on here#in a garden under the lord of Spirit who knows#sneaking that shit in when he was a baby#Oh all the men in this family have that....so.... like...hehe
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