#oh i was about to make a very bad joke about mary and blood. nope i probably shouldnt right

[brainlessforace]

ace 🤝 jack

covering themselves in blood for the bit

[astargatelover]

Watching The da Vinci Code for the first time - A documentation

-  About to watch The da Vinci Code for the first time. It’s about 3AM. Back of the DVD says the movie’s almost 2h30 long. Will approximately be going to bed at about 6AM. I gotta be crazy.

- Back of the DVD also says (translated from German): In the middle of the night the (…) is (…) Langdon (TOM HANKS) in the (…) director was murdered. His (?) (…) that of the Vitruvian Man (…) is the first horrible clue (…) and symbols. At the risk of his life (something something) Langdon – and from then on it’s a normal description, it’s just that that part is obscured by the library stamp. So I can confidently say I totally know what’s going on in this movie! *serious nod*

- Third highlight of the back of the DVD: Ian McKellen, grumpy-looking monk dude and a guy looking like Palpatine. And the Louvre.

- Also in the movie: Some German I don’t know (but yay!) and Paul Bettany. He’s cool; I really liked him in A Knight’s Tale.

- Let’s get this show on the road!

- …gotta update my media player. One sec!

- There we go. …where’s the always-on-top button? Ah, found it! Light’s off in my room; cinema time.

- Music’s already nice in the menu.

- Audio: English. (More nice music.) Subtitles: (Hey, they have Turkish on offer!) Off.

- (They even have subtitles for the trailers. But no extras. Am miffed. What kind of bare-bones DVD is this?!)

- 20 minutes after the first “about” up there: Play movie.

- Fancy title cards.

- Dude running. He’s gonna die; I know that much.

- Paul!

- *sigh*

- Oooooh, it’s Robert. That’s a lot of applause.

- (Btw, in case you didn’t know: I have watched Angels & Demons because I love Ernesto Olivetti a crazy amount.)

- I like Robert. Awesome presentation.

- Also like Tom Hanks. He’s great.

- Accents, y’all.

- Latin? Latin. Italian? No, definitely Latin.

- Ouch. Self-flagellation. Ooooooouch. Some religious people are crazy.

- Dude, you can barely stand. I’m a sadist and I don’t want you doing that to you.

- We’re only 10 minutes in, my goodness.

- Claustrophobia! I relate to that.

- Just let the dude take the stairs.

- Wow.

- Priests.

- Have I mentioned I’m not a big fan of catholics? Nothing personal.

- Also: Autistic Langdon, symbology special interest.

- French.

- Sophie! Heard of her.

- Strange happenings.

- Oooooooooh.

- French lady. I don’t speak French.

- *window jump scare*

- We don’t trust the police guy.

- Conspiracies!

- Fuck.

- “Once he starts, he doesn’t stop.” He’s like Javert.

- Climb out the window?

- More French.

- Oooooooh! They’re so tricking them, aren’t they? They’re not dumb.

- Bye bye!

- I’m sorry for Sophie.

- (I saw that part where her grandfather got shot years ago.)

- Here we go with the anagrams.

- Eidetic memory (pretty much) - firms up my autism headcanon.

- Can you even get that close to the Mona Lisa irl?

- Tom Hanks has a really nice nose. xD

- Langdon’s so good with anagrams.

- It’s like a scavenger hunt.

- Ooh, Musketeer symbol.

- Chase music!

- Flashback with crazy meetings.

- A smart! I get to bop someone now.

- Ooh, Les Mis.

- Backwards! That’s impressive.

- She’s so gonna make it.

- She made it!

- Bye bye, mirror.

- Paul’s looking angry.

- Someone got stabbed. I sense guilt.

- More dead people.

- Holy water.

- A nun.

- A rose line.

- Is he gonna kill her? She seems nervous.

- MORE FRENCH.

- Red light zone.

- (It’s raining outside. Kinda sets the mood.)

- You stay away from that dude, nun.

- Saving a junkie?

- (Sophie’s a really nice name, btw.)

- He rambles when he gets the chance so much. Really reminds me of special interests. (And in case anyone takes issue with that, I should know. I’m autistic. I have them.)

- My parents just watched Knightfall. Now I know some about the templars’ fall.

- Sophie didn’t know they were supposed to protect the Holy Grail? Really? Huh.

- Moooooore French.

- Please don’t die, nun.

- That’s some scar under his eye.

- Those look like some anger issues.

- It’s the grumpy-looking monk dude.

- Seriously, I understand more Latin than French.

-  “Blood is being spilled” as he’s spilling wine, that’s great.

- Freeeeeeeeeench.

- “I don’t think he liked me very much. He once made a joke at my expense.” I relate to this guy so hard on the autism level.

- It’s the German dude.

- That’s some system they’ve got at that bank.

- You call that a rose?

- I’m with Langdon here. Safe passage?

- Aww, poor guy. I’ve got claustrophobia, too, and I haven’t even got a traumatizing event behind me. (I read that somewhere.)

- I like the driver.

- A lot. Nice one with the watch.

- Langdon, you look sick. Please don’t die, y’all.

- JESUS CHRIST.

- Poor Sophie. </3 Woah.

- How tf did that truck get there?

- That bullet. Smaaart move. *thumbs up*

- Ouch.

- Bye bye again.

- Do I like the police captain? I don’t know.

- The tea convo. xD

- Is Langdon like this in the books? I hope he is.

- How old is Sophie? *googles Audrey Tatou* (Ooh, Amélie!) *checks when movie was made* ‘bout 30.

- Yaaaaaas, Ian.

- Also please don’t die.

- (Both my faves in Angels & Demons die. I’m vorbelastet and can’t find a good English word for that.)

- Jesus was cool.

- Those helmets. Feathers!

- “Not even his nephew twice removed.” xDDD

- Is that paisley? *googles* It is. Nice!

- Just in case you’re wondering, I am typing this as I watch the movie. I’m not saying I’m not missing anything, but I like multitasking.

- *googles The last Supper* Wow, no cup.

- Genital symbols.

- Wombs open towards the ground, though. People with them aren’t constantly doing handstands.

- Have I mentioned one of my favorite movies is Dogma, which postulates that Jesus had siblings? I’m liking this conversation.

- “Companion meant spouse.” My gay ass likes this.

- If that is Mary Magdalene, though, which apostle is missing? Been wondering this for years.

- Scions. I like this.

- I’m all for sex positivity.

- Your time’s kinda running out, guys.

- Almost halfway through, now.

- Do you seriously believe they’re murderers?

- Why do you wear your police thingies like a blind man’s band?

- Was overall expecting a bit more running in this movie, I guess.

- Poor Sophie. This is a lot to take in.

- Beating someone up with crutches! Yas!

- Like, ouch.

- Do you happen to have a secret passage under your house? Would come in real handy.

- Oh, Zürich! Man, accents. Barely understood that.

- Frehehench.

- In my personal experience claustrophobic people aren’t generally fans of planes. That might just be me, though.

- Still don’t know Paul’s character’s name.

- We are leaving the country.

- That haircut. On the dude with the grumpy-looking monk.

- Does Jesus having a family beside his parents somehow make him less holy? *shrug*

- FRENCH.

- Police brutality?

- “Please”? Seriously? I understood that much and you’re a dick.

- This is, like, some Order of the White Lotus stuff.

- You need a mirror? You can’t read it otherwise? Huh. Well, I guess it’s just easier.

- I really like Lee.

- How many more ways can I angrily write French? (I don’t have anything against the language per se. I just don’t understand what they’re saying and that irks me. There aren’t even subtitles for that. I feel like there are supposed to be subtitles.)

- (It is nice, however, that they’re sticking to the languages they’d actually be speaking. I wonder if it’s all German in German.)

- Yo, police. Be more subtle. You could have laid a trap.

- “You can start with him.” Hm! xD

- “I could run them over.” !! Man, this is great.

- This is like a fucking magic trick.

- You know what, I wanna watch that again.

- The DVD did not like that, so now I get to look at the “pick scene” menu. At least there’s more nice music.

- Just out of curiosity… *checks* There are 24 chapters and I’m at the 16th.

- I can understand more French when I concentrate on it, but I’ve been too annoyed about it so far.

- Never had French at school, btw. But have a bit of a talent for languages. When it comes to those I can sometimes cobble meaning together from context and existing knowledge.

- “The French cannot be trusted”, sounds so ominous.

- As a fan of Angels & Demons, I am very interested in what the Vatican has to say about all this.

- Told ya we don’t like planes.

- Naww, Sophie. Arm pat, yas.

- How do you accidentally fall into a well feet first? Hmm…

- Saved by pigeons, wow.

- Paul’s eyes are super blue.

- Is he gonna get killed?

- What an old-ass phone.

- I’m worried about that newspaper.

- How they’re keeping the identity of the teacher secret is A+, shooting-wise.

- “Your identity shall go with me to the grave.” Did he know he was gonna die?

- Nice one!

- Is the second movie this long? *checks* Not quite.

- Seriously. Unnaturally blue eyes.

- Shoot-out.

- I can kinda see where Lee’s coming from. Don’t agree with the method, but…

- Did a shoulder-shot really kill him?

- See? Nope.

- I think I do kinda like the police captain.

- Have I mentioned my attraction to side characters?

- Oh, that tiny wound on her neck. I like the attention to detail.

- And those stained glass windows! Pretty.

- His mind! Wow.

- I wanna see this scene without music and special effects, though, to see what Sophie and Lee see. Must be pretty weird. xD

- Dramatic musiiiiic.

- Police captain coming through! Yas.

- Robert’s like “What is happening?���

- Man, those poor policemen with the screaming dude in the back of the car.

- Can’t resist a challenge, can you?

- It’s hecking dark behind that doorway.

- Can they get away with getting rid of all the villains half an hour before the movie’s over?

- Now she’s all Ghost Whisperer-like.

- I like the way it sounds when she calls him Robert.

- (Doing some more googling. Ah, it’s Leigh. I see.)

- Who are these guys? Something bad’s happening.

- Flashbacks and MORE FRENCH.

- Wonder if Robert and Sophie use the formal you in German. It wouldn’t fit.

- Sophie’s world is kinda falling apart.

- (She’s like Bethany in Dogma. Don’t know if anyone here even knows Dogma, but I love it.)

- Family reunion! Who put those onions here?

- See? Robert and I agree. Why should a family make Jesus less holy?

- I really like this friendship. I hope they’ll meet again.

- Checking if she can walk on water. xD

- Hey, it’s the Eiffel tower! And it’s playing light house.

- Blood.

- What? What is it?

- Wow.

- This music is real nice.

- 7 minutes of credits.

- Again, though: The music is nice.

[mrsmess]

Faves and fails of SPN (season 12):

Favorite episodes in chronological order:

12:3 The Foundry - Mylings! Nuff said. And I knew it as soon as I heard the baby cry. And that makes me feel good about me.

12:4 American Nightmare - Stigmata. Dean dressed as a priest getting stuck looking at a boy lighting a candle in the church. Mr Mess: ”Dean! Time and place!” Sam wasting his sensemaking on a relentlessly angry Dean as usual, but then laying the hard truth on the crazy lady - is it hot in here?

12:5 The One You’ve Been Waiting For - Nazi dirtbags! Referencing one of the great episodes of season 8 too. Good. Good. And Allison Paige is friggin’ beautiful! Nauhaus is such a spoofy villain I think this is a comedy. ”Do you know what it’s like to have en nazi necromancer as a father?” ”He had a guy named Fritz try to kill me!” GOLD.

12:6 Celebrating the life of Asa Fox - badass-intro. And Jody. Hunter community! Canadian hunter community! Here for it. Bucky, or as I like to call him: demon nr 5 from early season.... single digits.

12:7 Rock never dies - Loving this glam-metal thing. Crowley in LA. And omg! Cass being snarky with Dean of all people. ”Atleast I don’t look like a lumberjack.” I laughed. And Mr Mess pointed out that Cass is tired, that that’s why he snapped, and it dawned on me that Cass is *choosing* to be kind under normal circumstances. My heart! ”I work for sexists, rasists, even politicians.” Lol. Loving the group dynamic of the four. But I’m a bit disappointed that Lucifer can’t chill, he could have had so much fun.

12:11 Regarding Dean - A goofy Dean episode. That’s rarely bad news. I like Rowena in this, she’s rly growing on me.

12:15 Somewhere between heaven and hell - Honesty’s the best policy, signed, Dean. Hear, hear! ”So, ten years ago did you rly want something? Like, a Hello Kitty backpack or the death of an enemy?” Lol! Dean and Crowley and Lucifer breaking free! Dean is a hoot this episode. Sam, killing the hellhound like a pro, and thanking Crowley. And Crowley kicking Lucifer’s ass. That’s the stuff. And Sam being honest with Dean and Dean being all reasonable about it! Loving it!

12:16 Ladies drink free - Claire! Nuff said. Loving everyone this episode, except Mick of course, but my homicidal thoughts at the sight of his beard have lessened. ”The experiment was on mice.” Werewolf-mice! XD

12:17 The british invasion - Eileen! God this show needs more women, the brothers are so much better dealing w them, which I guess is a problem on its own. ”Make your voice a mail.” Oh Cass. Eileen and Sam! My heart! Am I shipping this? God I hope not, it’ll mean instant death. God, Mick is an idiot, I mean, I’m obv digging his change of heart, but apparently he hasn’t learned a thing in the entire life he’s worked for his fucky organization.

12:18 The memory remains - Goodness. Loving this intro. Taxidermist sheriff. Man, sometimes I feel these quirky characters are wasted on the just-passing-through format. ”Hunting people! Killing them! The family business!” Lol.

Fail episodes in chronological order:

12:1 Keep Calm and Carry on - ”You’re bad at your job.” Sure, she has a point, but as generous as this british chick’s offer is, her pitch is somewhat lacking. A torture montage is the quickest way to wind up on the fail list. Also ”break his mind”? That’s what it’s like inside Sam’s head *all* the time.

12:2 Mamma Mia - A sexscene featuring Dean Forrester is the second quickest way to wind up on the fail list. You say his name is Sam Winchester? Nah. Nope. Not buying it. Listen, I know I talk a tall game about being a big Sam-fan, I just don’t ship him with a.n.y.o.n.e. So what the sexscene isn’t real!? I still had to see it with my own orbs of sight. ”Your job was to find american hunters and gain their trust.” I’m howling! Maybe *you’re* rly bad at your job, lady!

12:10 Lily Sunder has some regrets - uhm... using demon number 5 to play other randos throughout a 15 season show I’ll forgive them for but you can’t use the same distinct actor (Ian Tracey) to play two distinctly different characters (Lee/Ishim) and not acknowledge it, especially when they could easily explain it as Lee’s body being possessed by Ishim. It ruins the whole episode for me. Also, I’m rooting for the ”bad” guy.

12:14 The raid - The british men of letters are the worst, they are worthless recruiting agents, salesmen and got crappy intel; where the Winchesters go the rest of the american hunters will follow? Pretty sure the opposite is true: ”Oh shit, the Winchesters are joining ’em? Better stay as far away from that shit as possible!” Also Mary’s being more than a little silly and I’m surprised Sam didn’t give her some speech about how he used to aim for big things like killing the devil, closing the gates of hell, before learning to settle for more realistic goals, like, staying alive, keepin your brother alive, savoring the occasional win, y’know, for the sake of your mental health. Anyhoo; Sam’s reaction on finding out Mary gave the Colt to the british men of letters might have been enough put it on the fave list but there are just so many icky characters and so many shots of Mick’s ugly beard I can’t let it slide. Plus Sam winds up joining these assholes. Boooohhhh!

12:20 Twigs & twine & Tasha Banes - Jeez. Petition to have Dean always justify his icky feelings about something w the Star Wars classic ”i got a bad feeling about this.” It would save time and my sanity. Also I have issues w Mary not being reasonable and understanding the basics about the life she and the boys are leading - you’re in or out, but there’s no finishing it w/o finishing yourself. Is this season’s big bad trying to annoy me to death? And the other hunters? What is it with this show and any other fun or awesome characters? Sorry, can’t keep ’em on, it’s a density-thing.

12:21 There’s something about Mary - Booohh! First Eileen, my bae (did I call it or did I call it?) and then the entire episode is full of The Big Annoying. First episode I didn’t bother finishing. Screw this season.

12:23 All along the watchtower - honestly I don’t get the constant jokes about IKEAs manuals, they’re all pictures, you don’t even need to be able to read to read them. Crowley <3 Plz spare me this show’s take on child birth, really just any show, (how is it possible that it’s so frickin’ hard to get right??), but especially this show’s. And Crowley. And Cass. And Mary. Such an intense bummer.

Honorable mentions:

Crowley blowing up Rowena’s scammer! And Rowena’s reaction! ”That is the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for me!” Covered in blood. Priceless.

Cass and his sass is on this season. He’s so done w everyone. The exasperation!

The hug at the end of 12:22.

Dishonorable mentions:

Dean and Sam making a deal to get out of jail, kinda unepic w a predictable outcome.

Mediocre mentions:

The entire episode Stuck in the middle (with you) - It’s a Reservoir Dogs reference right? And it works very well until you realize that, then you just start missing Tarantino’s poignant dialogue about tipping (not fucking!) your waitress. The return of the yelloweyed bloodline. Bound to happen with Mary back. Don’t care about that but I do care about Crowley being back and being awesome. The Dukes of Haphazard. That’s good, I’ve just been referring to them as the Two Stooges.

The episode Who we are - There are separate aspects of this I like: Dean and Sam blasting their way out of the bunker, Jody and Alex, Dean dreamwalking Mary back home. Ackles is a genius with this sort of thing. But it’s just so silly: The british men of letters are just so unepic, it ruins everything, wraps it in a mediocre blanket: They’re bad at their job, have inexplicable motivations, are such annoying stereotypes the only way this would be a win would’ve been if Sam’s speech went something along the lines of ”I’ve had this fly buzzin’ around my ear all year, I could use your help squashing it.” But at least, then they do.

Summing up:

I’m rly enjoying the warped relationships early in the season. Crowley and Cass. Rowena and Lucifer, Rowena and Crowley. Sam, Dean and Mary. But my usual creed about the gooey middles of seasons doesn’t hold true this time and I rly feel like it gets good only when it’s almost over. And honestly on whole the season is the worst so far. The british men of letters are so annoying and they’re everywhere, tainting everything. Ugh.

[bookenders]

11/11/11 Tag Game: Rounds 14 and 15! (I think. I’m bad at math.)

Back at it again, folks! Thank you @ofvisitorsthefairest and @fictionshewrote for the tags!

I think I’m gonna stop counting them after these. I can’t keep the numbers straight.

Rules: Answer the 11 questions from whoever tagged you, then made up 11 of your own questions and tag 11 people.

Bilbo Taggins: @starlitesymphony​, @hannahs-creations​, @toboldlywrite​, @quilloftheclouds​, @myreidola​, @minusfractions​, @inexorableblob​,  @ink-flavored​, @misfitgirlwrites​, @writinginslowmotion​, @aurumni-writes​

If you like these questions, by all means, answer them! And tag me so I can see!

My Questions:

Make a Mary Sue in your story’s world! What powers do they have, if any? How are they better than everyone else? What is their tortured past that is a blessing but also a curse? What kind of unusual eyes do they have? Which member of nobility/royalty/god/vampire/demon is their parent?

Which would your OCs choose: Legolas or Aragorn? Which would you choose?

What’s your favorite trick to pull on readers?

If you were to teach a creative writing class, what books would be on your syllabus?

What’s your opinion on semicolons?

What’s your favorite movie, based on its story?

What’s the dumbest thing your character(s) have ever done? What’s the dumbest thing they could do?

What one item could you introduce to your story to completely derail the plot? Where would it go from there?

What’s your favorite MacGuffin?

How do you name your characters and locations? 

How have your hobbies and passions influenced your writing/how you write?

My answers under the cut!

@ofvisitorsthefairest‘s Questions:

1. Does music inspire you to write?

Not unless I’m doing songfics as a warm-up or something. I usually use it as a tone/mood guard rail as I’m writing. That’s why I make story/character playlists! They keep me on track, especially if I’m revisiting a scene I haven’t thought about in a while.

2. Which WIP did you learn the most from writing?

My Romanian story, for sure. I had the help of my thesis director/mentor with that one, thank God. I learned how to establish a scene quickly, how to do flashbacks like other people do them, how to incorporate languages without messing up the pace or losing the reader, and how to write historical things. 

I learned a whole lot about what not to do from my Story That Shall Not Be Named Because It Bad, too. 

3. Is there something your OC should be afraid of that they aren’t?

I think Gemma should be more afraid of being found out than she is. I mean, she’s technically a witch (an unregistered magic practitioner, because of her potion-making which is classified as pseudo-magic) who has no social security number, lives in secret, and does illegal internet things. She could get into some serious trouble. There are even more nasty consequences that I can’t reveal because spoilers, but let’s just say she has no idea they could happen and they ain’t pretty.

4. Is there something they don’t need to fear, yet do? Irrational phobias?

Yep! It’s one of the cores of her character. She’s afraid of being left alone, abandoned, kept out of her found family. Being used for her skills and ignored as a person. I don’t think they’re irrational, but she has never listened when people tell her not to be afraid of those things.

5. Do you prefer reading physical books or e-books?

Physical books, by far. E-books for my college student wallet, though. They saved me when I didn’t have time to order books, too. I have a crazy good “where in the physical book did this event happen” memory. Like, I can name an event and flip to the page very quickly based on how far into the book it was. Very handy for citations. And I love the feel/smell of a book in my hands and all the contorting I do when I read one (seriously, I almost always end up upside down or completely sideways in a chair).

6. What’s some details of your world building that you like?

All the little things! Academic internet piracy network to help witches, how magic interacts with daily life, tweaking folklore to fit story lore, 

7. Have you ever created a magic system? What was it like?

Oh, boy! Yes, I have made several. My favorite might be the one from my TV show where the only magic is healing/life manipulation magic. The way it works is that when healers do their thing, they physically take on their patient’s injuries. If you have a broken arm, now the healer has a broken arm. Works with diseases, too. Here’s the snippet from the Show Deck about it:

In the darkest corners and dingiest alleys, magic pulses through the veins of the downtrodden. Seen as evil and taboo, magic operates by the law of an eye for an eye, a life for a life. Sacrifice fuels these dark arts, and those who manipulate them are covered in scars and never-healed wounds. Healers operate in the shadows and lead short lives, field medics are scarce, and the king has two sorcerers by his side at all times, bound by a blood contract to give their lives in his name.

Here’s a link to some posts about my magic system in my current WIP, Heart to Heart! I made magic types based on different sciences and artistic disciplines! 

We’ve got astronomy/astrology, carving/linguistics/physical art/symbology, politics/making powerful friends/handshakes/marketing/political science, geology/archaeology/product design. Also some secret types that involve psychology, sound design/sound engineering, and water treatment/environmental science/architecture.

There are also pseudo-magical professions that blend with tech and science, like potion making!

Here’s a decent explanation of how magic works in the world of H2H.

Here’s a joke I made about my magic system.

Here’s the Magical Aptitude quiz I made that tells you more about the magic types in H2H.

/end ramble

8. What was your first favorite book?

I’m 90% sure it was the American Revolution Magic Tree House book. Or one of those books. They were the best.

9. What time of day are you most motivated to write?

7pm-4am. Yep, I hate it. I’m trying to push it closer to 2pm-9pm but it’s tough.

10. If you could step into the shoes of one of your characters for a day, which one would you pick?

If we’re talkin’ H2H characters, I honestly would not have a preference. Everyone in that story is pretty dang chill. If I had to choose, I’d go with Jill or Treena. They’re both artists and artisans who have cool houses and great friends.

11. What are some little quirks you like to give characters? Ex: a lot of mine have freckles Just Because.

There are Many. A lot of my characters have curly hair because I have curly hair. Many of them are left handed (especially my sword-wielding ones). A bunch of them have scars. A lot of them know curse words in other languages. 

@fictionshewrote‘s Questions:

1. What do you want to see more of in the book world? (more rep, more of a specific genre, etc)

I have a rant about this, but to sum up: fewer straight white men dominating publishing, more open acceptance for new voices and ideas, less focus on easy-sell formulaic stories, less prejudice against certain genres... the list goes on. Also, in the publishing world, fewer submission fees and more journals that pay.

2. What time of day are you most productive writing-wise?

Answered above! Evenings and nights. It’s starting to shift to late afternon to late evening though, which is a nice change.

3. Do you have a designated space where you write?

Nope! I usually use my laptop wherever I can sit down or stand without my back screaming at me. I hate writing on my phone, though. Too small, too many typos.

4. What kind of platforms/programs/tools do you use to write? (Word, notebooks, Google Docs, Scrivener, etc)

Scrivener! It’s so helpful for my disorganized ass. I only use Word for academic papers now. When I’m having trouble getting ideas out of my brain, I write by hand in a hard back spiral notebook. I can’t stand writing in journals without spirals. 

5. Hardcover or paperback?

I like both. When I read, I sit weird and hardcovers prevent the pages from bending, but paperbacks are good for traveling with. And they’re cheaper. But hardcovers are so pretty... 

6. What’s your favorite story trope? Are you using it in your wip(s)?

There are a lot of tropes and I can never pick just one. I like friends to lovers, almost everything in LoTR and all those high fantasy things, complicated political/family dynamics, etc. I don’t typically like to write the same things I like to read, though. I have trouble naming them sometimes, but I know I use a bunch of them. 

7. If you had to send your favorite OC on a blind date with a character from someone else’s book, who would that character be and why?

Oh boy. I’m watching the Lord of the Rings extended editions right now, but I’ll try not to be biased.

If I were trying to be funny, I’d set Fred up with Aziraphale from Good Omens. I feel like they could have some good weird conversations.

Gemma and Nicholas Flamel from The Alchemist would be fun, too. Or Oz and Boromir. 

8. Do you write scenes in order or out of order?

I like writing them in order, but sometimes that doesn’t work out like I want it to. Now it really depends on the story. I wrote the first part of AOPC out of order and it messed with my head a little, so I’m trying not to do it for my longer projects. My short stories are always written one and done, in chronological order, usually. Especially the ones under 2k words. WYSiOaD was written in order, then switched around to fix the flow and plot.

9. If your favorite OC was a superhero, what would their superpower be? (assuming, of course, they aren’t a superhero to begin with!)

I do have superhero/villain characters! Here’s some others, though:

Gemma - Empathy / Transferable Rapid Healing and/or Regeneration

Oz - Truesight / Invulnerability

Mel - Animal Friendship or Shapeshifting / Conditional Foresight

Fred - Domino’s luck power but backwards and framed like happy accidents that always seem to work in his favor. So... Mr. Magoo.

Teva - Earth sculpting or something like earthbending

10. Describe your ideal writing session.

I sit and I write a whole short story in one hit. Then I wait and edit another day. 

I am a simple bean.

11. What do you think would turn your protagonist into a villain?

Seeing what was lost and having it torn away forever before she gets to claim it again.

[toomanysurveys9]

started last night - finishing today.

List three people you’ve had crushes on. jacob (obviously), tito (back before i was with jacob - like middle school), and chris. Have you ever been in love with someone that you watched from afar? not love, no. and i didn’t have any crushes on people i didn’t talk to or whatever. How old were you when you started your period? i think i was like ten. it was on thanksgiving too, of all days. it was horrible.

How old were you when you had your first crush? my mom teased me about a boy in kindergarten but it was like 4th grade or something before i actually had a crush on someone.

How old were you when you were first head over heels in love? fourteen or fifteen and it was jacob.

Have you ever been in love with someone who made you miserable? you could say that, yes.

How bad are your worst cramps on a scale of 1-10? i had some recently that were like an easy six or seven.

Have you ever thrown up from cramps? i have not so far.

List three people you had a hard time forgiving. jason, christian, and my aunt mary.

Is there someone you are currently struggling to forgive? no one comes to mind, no.

What is the most physically painful thing you’ve ever experienced? labor. contractions are no joke.

Do you have an embarrassing period story? If so, what is it? i started my period on graduation day in high school. and our robes were white. luckily it wasn’t too bad, just a drop of blood got on my robe, and it wasn’t until AFTER we walked. but oh my god.

Have you ever had bad cramps in class? nope. i didn’t really get cramps with my period. i’ve only ever gotten cramps while pregnant.

Have you ever thrown up in school? If so, what happened? i have. i am pretty sure i just got sent home.

Have you ever left school because of cramps? nope. i didn’t have cramps with my periods.

Did your school allow you to have pain medicine on you? i think we could if we told the teacher we had it?

Did your school have a nurse? yeah. i think that’s pretty common with most schools, at least in the u.s.

When was the last time you threw up? i don’t remember. it’s been a very long time.

Have you ever tried to starve yourself in order to lose weight? yeah. in middle school, and into high school.

How old were you when you lost your virginity? the first time i had consensual sex i was fifteen i think.

If applicable, what form of birth control do you use? i’m not on any birth control right now since i’m pregnant.

What is your sexual orientation? straight

Have you ever questioned your sexuality? i have not.

Are you happy with your gender? yup.

What gender do you identify as? What gender were you born as? female for both.

Do you identify as “religious”? not even a little bit.

Do you identify as “spiritual”? nope.

Have you ever tried drugs? nope.

Have you ever gotten high off a prescription medication? nope. i have not.

Have you ever been drunk? many, many times. i was drunk almost every weekend after i turned 21.

Have you ever smoked pot? i have not.

Have you ever smoked a cigarette? i have not.

What’s your favorite drug? i don’t do any drugs, as i’ve already stated.

What’s your favorite alcoholic beverage? i used to really enjoy liquid marijauna when we went to bars. otherwise, i liked to do shots of whatever.

How old are you? twenty-five.

Do you drink regularly? not anymore.

Are/were you abused? yeah.. i was sexually abused a lot.

Do you have a significant other? If yes, are you happy in your current relationship? If not, are you happy being single right now? i do. and most of the time, yes. it’s not always perfect, but i couldn’t see myself with anyone else.

Do you want a significant other? i have one.

Do you take drugs or drink to numb your pain? i used to use drinking to do that.

Who is your current crush? my husband.

Who is your current friend crush? i don’t have a friend crush. i don’t even know what that is supposed to mean.

Do you prefer tampons or pads? tampons. i hate the feeling of pads.

Have you ever used a tampon? yeah.

What’s your bra size? like 38d or something? that’s what i buy usually anyways.

Do you have a hard time finding bras in your size? cute ones, yes.

Can you still wear clothes from the children’s section? nope. i cannot.

Are you lonely? not at the moment.

Did your parents give you “the talk”? not really.

How old were you when your parents talked to you about puberty? they didn’t really discuss it until i had my period. school talked about it in fourth grade or something though i think.

Do you like going to the doctor? it’s not my most favorite thing in the world. i always feel awkward.

Do you like going to the dentist? NO. i hate it.

Do you think you are attractive? i know i’m not.

Are you happy with the way you look? obviously not if i know i’m not attractive.

Do you look more like your mom or your dad? i don’t know. i hear both.

What was the last thing you baked? i put a frozen pizza in the oven tonight for jacob if that counts. lol. otherwise, i don’t remember right off hand.

Does your computer run slow? sometimes.

If you’re a Christian, do you love your enemies? If you’re a Christian, do you sometimes forget to love your enemies? If you’re a Christian, what’s your favorite version of the Bible? i’m not a christian so i’m not going to bother answering these.

Who is the most spiritual person you know? my mom’s foster family.

What type of surveys do you like the best? anything besides the bold surveys, or surveys that are mostly yes or no answers.

Have you ever accidentally overdosed on a drug? nope.

Do you have the same worldview as your parents? there are some differences...

What is your favorite forum game? i don’t have one?

Do you like to play Truth or Dare? i used to like it. i mostly picked truth though.

Would you ever start a vlog? no. i wouldn’t have anything to do for it.

Has anyone ever mistaken you for a celebrity? lol, no.

Are your dreams coming true yet? more or less, sure.

Do you struggle with depression? i do. What makes you laugh the most? wyatt makes me laugh all the time. Are you haunted by your past? occasionally.

Do you believe ADHD is real? yeah, i do. but i also think it sometimes gets over diagnosed, especially in little kids who are just being little kids. we tend to expect a lot out of them.

Have you ever questioned your sanity? yeah. What medical conditions do you have? depression. anxiety. asthma. Have you ever had low self-esteem? story of my life. Do you use a Magic Bullet? i do not. i have a ninja though.

What are your favorite things to put in smoothies? my favorite smoothie are the raspberry banana ones. i also put yogurt in it.

What does your apron look like? i don’t have an apron. i don’t see the point, to be honest.

What do you want to name your first child?

we named him wyatt robert. :) if he had been a girl, his name would have been adalyn sue. his sister is going to be named eliana sue though.

Would you ever name a child after yourself? definitely not.

Is there a guy or girl you wish things had worked out with? no one comes to mind.

What makes you nauseous? pregnancy. lol. lately i’ve been getting nauseous for no apparent reason. but i get nauseous if i don’t eat enough or drink enough or get too hot. or smell something my belly doesn’t agree with.

What are your favorite spicy foods? i don’t really eat any spicy foods.

Which do you like better: being an adult or being a kid? i mean, there are pros and cons for both. being a kid was so much easier and less stress. but i love being a mom to my babies.

Were you excited to be a teenager on your thirteenth birthday? i guess so.

Did you feel insecure in high school? i’ve always been on the insecure side.

Do you think there are different types of depression? yeah.

Would you ever be friends with someone who was suicidal? yeah....

What is the antidote to self-harm? (If you don’t know, don’t answer.) it varies for everyone. i still struggle with wanting to do it, but i’ve done good at not giving in to those desires because my kids.

Who was the biggest bully in high school? i honestly don’t know. i didn’t really pay attention to the people around me. i kept to myself.

What was your favorite class in high school? choir and english. and i loved history with sabo.

Would you rather have a daughter or a son? i have a son, and will soon have a daughter, and i’m happy about that.

Are you woman, man, boy, or girl? woman.

Have you ever written to an advice columnist? i have not.

What color is your Christmas tree? we had a white one, but i think we’re going back to green. the white ones yellow..

Do you celebrate Christmas? yes. i love christmas. i love giving gifts.

Do you celebrate Halloween? sure do. i cannot wait to take the kids trick or treating on wednesday!

Do you believe all Christians are evil and hypocritical, or only some? obviously i don’t believe that. whether someone is evil and hypocritical doesn’t really have to do with religion.

Do you think it’s bullying to tell someone they’re naive? no.. as long as you’re not saying it just to be a jerk. there are nice ways to talk to people.

Did you get bullied more as a child, a teenager, or an adult? teenager i guess.

Have you ever broken out in hives? not hives, no.

Have you ever had a doctor not believe what you told him? nope. i have a good doctor.

If you’re female, would you feel uncomfortable having a male gynecologist? my family doctor is a male and he does all the ob stuff and everything else. i’ve been going to him for years, so i trust him, even if it is a bit awkward.

Do you like Lisa Frank? i guess i did as a kid. i liked the folders and whatnot at least.

What gives you nightmares? lately, they’ve been nightmares about someone trying to hurt wyatt or me..

Do you dream in black and white or color? usually color.

Have you ever been in a car accident? yeah. one year i was in two. one with each of my parents.

Were you ever hospitalized as a child? yeah. for awhile (until about middle school) i was hospitalized every year with pneumonia.

Do you have a conscience now? well, yeah.

Do you believe everyone has a conscience? no. plenty of people have proven that i think.

Do you believe that drug addicts and alcoholics should count as people? well, duh. they are people.

Are narcotics safe? depends how they are used. if they are misused, then no.

Will you vote in the next presidential election? yup.

What’s your favorite zoo animal? owls or wolves or foxes.

Are you allergic to your favorite animal? i am not.

What is the best thing to eat with soup? i don’t know. i usually just eat soup if that is what i’m having.

Do you eat ice cream with a fork or a spoon? spoon... the only reason i could see using a fork is if were were totally out of spoons and had no way to wash them.

What’s your favorite country besides the USA? i’m not too sure, to be honest. i’m not even sure i would call the us my favorite right now.

Are you an adventurous eater? i’m more adventurous than i used to be. lol. but still wouldn’t say i’m all that adventurous.

Do you take risks? not really, no.

Who was the last friend who turned on you? he didn’t really turn on me, he just decided he no longer cared, if he ever did, and that was tito.

How old were you when you get your first cell phone? i don’t know. i was in sixth grade i think though but it was for emergencies only.

How old were you when you got your first personal laptop? eighteen.

Did you get senior pictures taken? my dad did them. :)

What will you do to save money at your wedding? i just tried to find the cheapest things that i could for it. there was a lot of do it yourself, as far as favors and decor.

What was the last thing you bought online? phone case for ashley i believe. my mom paid for it.

Do you shop online? not a whole lot, no.

What color is your bicycle? i don’t have a bike anymore.

Do you consider yourself unique? not really, no. no more unique than anyone else.

What’s your favorite coffee shop in your town? i usually just go to dunkin’.

Did you attend a youth group? not anymore. i did on and off when i was younger though.

Did you ever have to take home a fake baby in health class? i didn’t HAVE to, and it wasn’t for health class. but i did take one home.

Do you have any friends of a different ethnicity than you? i have like two friends, and they are the same ethnicity as me. i have had friends of different ethnicity in the past though. we just aren’t really friends anymore because we drifted apart.

Are you part Irish? i am not that i’m aware of.

Would you rather wear ivory or white on your wedding day? What color will your bridesmaids wear? i wore white and my bridesmaids wore royal blue.

What does your first name rhyme with? nothing comes to mind.

Have you ever taken a poetry course? no. we’ve talked about poetry in some courses, but it wasn’t the primary focus.

Would you ever take a college class just for fun? probably not.

Do you like mowing the lawn? i’ve never mowed the lawn. i’m too allergic to do it.

Would you rather have a swimming pool or trampoline? a swimming pool.

What’s your favorite age for kids to be? i don’t know. i love the baby stage, because they’re adorable and baby cuddles. but i also love the toddler and older stage because they are learning so much and becoming more independent.

Do you think babies are cute? yes.

What would you name twin girls? if we were to have twin girls after eliana is born, i kind of like adalyn and emersyn. but i don’t know. it would probably change.

Are you named after anyone? my first name is after a character on a soap opera my mom used to really like and my middle name is after my mom’s foster mother.

Who picked your name: your mom or your dad? my mom. i’m the only one she named. she wanted to name erin courtney renee but my dad liked erin nicole.

What is your birth order in the family? i’m the oldest of my parents’ kids.

Have you ever been in someone’s wedding? just my own.

Do you want to have a bachelorette party? jacob and i combined our bachelor/bachlorette party. it was fun. went to kayla’s mom’s house and had food, alcohol, homemade water slide, some nerf guns, water balloons. then ended it with smores and a bonfire.

What season do you want to get married in? we got married in summer.

Do you dream about the future a lot? not really.

Do you think about your past a lot? not as much as i used to. but still more often than i would like to.

How good are you at living in the moment? i’m pretty good at it lately.

Would you be scared to meet God? maybe if he existed, but i don’t believe he does.

Have you ever questioned God’s existence? yeah. guess so.

Do you have a mirror in your room? i do not.

Target or Walmart? we usually go to walmart.

Is there a Kmart in your town? nope.

Do you think Jasper sounds more like a girl’s name or a boy’s name? boy. i’ve only known boys, but that’s not to say it wouldn’t work for a girl either.

Who are the cutest babies you know? my son. :p

Do you enjoy seeing wedding and baby announcements on facebook? yeah. :) i like seeing people happy.

Vanilla frosting or chocolate? depends on my mood and the type of cake.

Do you keep up with trends? nope. i don’t care enough to.

Would you ever go to Montana? maybe. i’m not really planning on it though, and it’s not the first place i think to go for vacation.

What’s your favorite foreign cuisine? italian probably these days.

Where do you do your grocery shopping? usually just go to walmart.

Have you ever moved to another state? i was born in florida, and then my parents moved us to indiana when i was a few months old. so technically yes but i don’t remember it.

Do you have a drawer just for socks? no. it’s for socks and underwear.

Do you wear mismatched socks? usually, yes.

Do you enjoy garage sales? i used to like them, but i couldn’t care less anymore.

When was the last time you prayed with someone? i don’t remember. it’s been a long time.

Favorite magazine? food network i guess.

How far away do you live from the nearest hospital? like ten or fifteen minutes.

Are there mansions in your town? i wouldn’t call them mansions, no. there are some pretty big houses though.

Would you decorate for holidays if you had a big house of your own? i want to decorate for the holidays since we do have a house of our own, but probably won’t this year. next year i hope to though!

What is your favorite planet besides earth? i’ve kind of always liked mercury since i did a book on it in like sixth grade. lol.

Do you believe in aliens? not the stereotypical ones, necessarily. but i’m not 100% confident in saying we are the only living organisms when there is still so much of space we haven’t even begun to explore.

Have you ever won a costume contest? not that i can think of.

Pink or red? depends what we are talking about. like if it’s a color of a car, red. but if it’s a pen, pink.

How late did you stay up last night and why? it was after midnight. i just haven’t been able to sleep well.

Who were the last two people you texted? jade and erin.

What’s currently bothering you? been a little crampy again.. i’m not sure why though.

Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? yup.

Do you and your last ex hate each other? i don’t hate him - i don’t really feel any particular way about richard. i don’t know (or care) how he feels about me.

Have you ever been called a slut? it’s possible. but not that i’ve heard.

Is the person you last texted single? that was erin, and as far as i’m aware, she is single right now.

Have you thought about an ex today? just when i answered that question about him. otherwise, no.

Do you know how it feels to be cheated on? unfortunately.

What would you say if you found out your last ex was in a relationship? i honestly wouldn’t care.

Did you do anything productive today? so far, i have not. ha.

Would you ever get a tattoo? i have three and would like one or two more.

Where was the last place you traveled? we went for a walk last night.. walked to martin’s.

Is someone on your mind right now? wyatt. he’s being a trouble maker today. lol.

Can you say the alphabet backwards? i could but it’ll take me longer than saying it the “right” way.

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? i mean.. there are some things i would like to change..

What’s irritating you right now? feeling crampy and knowing it has nothing to do with ellie even being close to ready to come out even though her due date is only 3 days away..

[purgatoryandme]

Between Scenes

Takes place during chapter 34 of Illuminate Me when Bucky and Tony try to sleep in the same room.

Tony stepped out of the shower, the sound of his wet feet padding across the floor painting an image for Bucky despite his closed eyes. He could hear the rustle of clothing (old worn out band tees and flannel sleep pants were Tony’s favoured pjs. He’d made jokes about sleeping naked until Bucky started guarding his room), Tony’s exhausted mumbling (would he be rubbing at the water caught in his eyelashes? Sweeping it away like he tried to sweep away his exhaustion?), and the spatter of water (Tony always shook himself like a dog to dry his hair. Never towelled it off properly - always goin’ to bed and gettin’ his pillow wet. Bucky’s hand itched to take over the task).  “You can open your eyes, you won’t see my Ass-ets.”  Tony chuckled, sighing when Bucky didn’t even crack a smile.  “How long has it been since you actually got some sleep, Rip Van Wrinkles?” Tony continued to prod, nudging Bucky with his foot when he still failed to respond. Bucky’s fingers simply curled around Tony’s damp skin, taking a moment to centre himself, before he grumbled under his breath at the effort it took to stand. The world spun for a moment and suddenly Tony’s hands were gripping his waist.  “Ok, that’s it. I’m not tolerating this anymore.” That was Tony’s Director Stark tone. Despite himself, Bucky whined a bit (he’d known Tony would get tired of his constant hovering, but he didn’t understand - he couldn’t be left alone. Something would happen. There were a million risks-). The fingers on Bucky’s waist tightened as he tried to straighten and push Tony back into his bedroom. “We’re not going there.”  Tony said, firmly stepping around Bucky’s attempts to nudge him, refusing to let go,  “We’re going to your room. C’mon, I’ll even put on the jacket.” Bucky stood by in confusion as Tony hurried off, rustling around in his room, before reappearing with his hair dripping all over Bucky’s blue jacket. “At least...” Bucky waved at his hair, trying to tamp down on the pounding headache that had been coming back for an encore appearance since Tony had first stepped into his (low-flow, excessively hot) shower. Tony squinted at him,  “Do it for me if you want it done so bad.”  Bucky’s hand spasmed and he frowned at it. He wouldn’t risk doing such a delicate task like this. He could hurt Tony- Who was grinning triumphantly (that little shit-).  “If I can’t get you to prioritize your own safety,” He sing-songed, shaking his hair out again and snorting when Bucky wrinkled his nose,  “I’ll get you to prioritize mine. Now let’s go to your room, Sleepless in Seattle.”  “Wasn’t that a romcom?” Bucky mumbled, following in Tony’s wake nonetheless (as if he were ever going to do anything else - especially not after Tony responded, “I love romcoms. Maybe we’ll watch a few, braid each other’s hair - the works.”). 

Back in his own room, Bucky spent the better part of half an hour trying to shove Tony into the safe place underneath his bed without words. All of his attempts were met with a swift and blunt, 

“Hell no.”  Until Tony simply rolled his eyes and climbed into his bed, quirking an eyebrow at Bucky once he was half-buried in the sheets. Bucky might’ve felt like complete an utter shit, but he was willing to focus his brain for at least a few seconds on such a beautiful sight (Tony looked tiny like this, tucked away in layers of fabric, the edges of Bucky’s jacket collar just barely peeking out from the plain linens -  just enough to remind Bucky that Tony wasn’t completely undressed).  The quirked eyebrow lifted a little higher as Tony wriggled himself into a more comfortable position (that shimmy was probably the most precious thing Bucky has ever seen).  “I know you’re not one for talking right now, Oh Silent Night, so I won’t ask what the hold up is. Instead, I’m gonna tell you: stop having a hold up. Get under the bed, Barnes, or so help me God I’ll shove you under it myself.”  Tony grumbled. Bucky’s exhausted mind barely managed to parse the good humour from the worry in his tone, hardly managing to shoot Tony a tiny smile before clambering into his hidey-hole.  A sleepless hour passed wherein Bucky focused on Tony’s breathing (unchanged - he was awake, too) and on the door. Then, suddenly, Tony muttered,  “Can’t fucking believe I’m doing this...”  And slung his hand over the edge of the bed, hanging just low enough to be within Bucky’s reach comfortably. He’d even picked the right side. But...there was no way it was what Bucky thought, right? As if he were reading his mind, Tony sighed, his voice suddenly seeming so much closer than before,  “The hand is for you, Bucky-Monster. I’m not dangling it here for anything else that hides under beds. C’mon, my palms are cold.” Hesitantly, head still pounding (how long had it been since he’d slept...?), Bucky intertwined their fingers. Tony’s hands were large. The tips of his fingers and much of his palms were rough with calluses, scraping against the ones on Bucky’s own hands. Tiny silvery scars peppered every square inch - Bucky found himself brushing the very tips of his fingers over them (Tony’s arm shivered in his grip, but didn’t pull away). It was soothing - having Tony here with him, actually present, focused on Bucky...it was nice. Nice enough to slip into a fitful sleep at last. 

Since the universe hated him, Bucky shouldn’t have been surprised to wake up from a wet dream. He was surprised, though. Confused as all Hell, hard enough to hurt, and sweat-soaked, too. Fuck, fuck, Tony was right above his head- “Calm down, Boner Boy. I’m not bothered beyond the damp palms. Thought you’d tried to prank me with the old ‘hand in a glass of water’ trick and was pretty fucking offended.”  Tony’s voice was scratchy and rough - still exhausted. What time was it? How long had he even been asleep? Against his will, Bucky’s hand clenched tightly around Tony’s, his sweaty palms making getting a grip hard (By Mary and a Catholic Priest, right, hard. This was the worst. It was like being a teenager all over again - go AWAY, think of something terrible, ok, ok, moving was not an option). “I’d be more offended if you didn’t have wet dreams about me, to be honest.”  Tony was saying, sleep-rough voice fitting seamlessly into Bucky’s dream (where Tony’s voice had been roughened a different way) and nope, nope, not going there. No.  “I haven’t gone to bed with anybody in long enough that a lack of interest would be an ego blow. It’s human, hey-” Bucky was never going to sleep again. Ever. Sweet Baby Jesus, this man barely tolerated him and here he was, perving all over him and holding his hand (he still couldn’t - he couldn’t quite let go) while he slept.  “Was I at least any good in your little fantasy? Because it sounded like-” Bucky cut Tony’s rambling (rambling, not flirting. It was rambling. Probably nervous rambling) off with a miserable groan.  “Well...”  Tony mumbled, his fingers twitching in Bucky’s grip,  “That wasn’t a happy noise. I’ll have to give my dream self a talking to.” Tony was shifting above him, probably ready to peer under the bed, and wow, no, Bucky did not want to be seen in this state. He tried to release Tony’s hand, preferably to cover himself, however found that Tony’s grip had strengthened.  “Ok, the ‘you’re only human’ talk has never been my best work. I’m just gonna...I’m just gonna let that one go. Not let you go, though. It’s like...ass o’ clock in the morning and you haven’t slept NEARLY enough to go back to your brooding shadow routine, Sleepless Beauty.”  Tony said, slowly settling himself back onto the mattress. His thumb was rubbing gently across Bucky’s knuckles (and not helping Bucky’s case at all - all it did was remind him of the one time Tony kissed his hand in excitement, what it felt like to have his lips brush against Bucky’s skin, the scrape of his beard-).  “Maybe my speeches about humanity suck because I’m the really boring version of a cyborg. Whadaya think, Buck-E-Bot? Cyborg to cyborg, can you deliver inspiring speeches about the birds and the bees? Puberty? Piston action?”  Tony’s laugh was throaty, whisky-warm, and far more intimate than any other noise Bucky had ever heard him make. It had him smiling despite himself, though shame still burned low in his belly.  “The reason I look like this...it’s a virus.” Tony said, all traces of laughter gone, only seriousness remaining,  “That and nanobots in my blood. My whole body is a machine now. I should still age, but it won’t be quite...right. It won’t be the same - I don’t even know if I’ll ever get to be a silver fox again. Robots dictate my healing now, the beating of my heart, the way my skin-” The hand in Bucky’s gains a soft glow, a map of veins standing out in the darkness of Bucky’s room,  “Does that thing. Not human, any of it. My brain has servers, uplinks, Hell I could probably jam all that I am into a hard drive if I wanted to. I’m not supposed to be able to do that.”  There was bitterness lingering in Tony’s voice, old and resentful and...resigned. Bucky didn’t have it in him to be resentful at his own situation anymore - he’d already lived longer than he’d ever wanted to. Resignation, though? He understood that perfectly.  “My mama, she always said ‘Anthony, lover of romance, the romance of things - you’d put all of humanity in your heart if you could’. She thought it was funny, that her little boy didn’t like fairytales that ended in a kiss, hated magic, but fell head over heels for human connection. ‘The King mourned his fallen men, spoke to dreary dreadful death, asked it to come for him, too - ah, that sounds like love. You aren’t interested, are you, darling? Oh look at that pout-’ Always laughing at me. Kept teaching me romantic languages because it ‘suits you, Anthony, like a rose tucked between your teeth’.”  Bucky sucked in a sharp breath at what Tony was saying, the way he was saying it - a Spanish lilt with something... (Memories of a riot, of many riots, of people shouting in the streets - something Southern in their speech. Open high vowels, -et, -eza, suffixes that were familiar but not. An older, rougher kind of Latin origin. Adéu) Catalan. Falling off of Tony’s tongue, the accent had never sounded sadder. “I always did like robots better than people, though. Give me an android and, well, you’ve seen Vision. I was going to say give me an android and I’ll be in Heaven, but I guess the real answer is: I’ll be a father. Guess I shouldn’t be surprised I wound up like this. The Arc Reactor was just step one.”  The bitterness was still there, the accent lingering too, but...the resignation sounded a bit less like defeat.  “So me and you,” Tony said, squeezing Bucky’s hand, his own still glowing just a bit,  “We’ve got a bit of metal in us, yeah? Protocols to follow. Processes we carry out. Your body is just carrying out a process and, as long as it doesn’t affect the mission, we can both just see it as another cog in the machine, yeah?”  Bucky released a shuddering breath, realizing he felt...calmer. Less like a shrapnel bomb waiting to go off, shredding the mattress and tearing apart the man above him. Who was less delicate than Bucky gave him credit for.  “Yeah.” Bucky responds, squeezing Tony’s hand and willing his eyes to shut, his breathing to slow, his body to relax,  “We’ve got a bit of metal in us. Makes us hard.”  He huffs at the chuckle that slips free above him. They won’t be doing this again, so he should enjoy it while it lasted (this kind of mutual understanding between man and machine - it was dangerous. For both of them, but mostly for Tony. Still, Bucky needed sleep to defend him, so he’d allow it...for now).  (When he tells Tony that in the morning, there’s an odd set to Tony’s brows that tells him Tony doesn’t doesn’t believe a word out of Bucky’s mouth)  (He’s right, of course) (Bucky was a weak weak man long before he was a machine)

[deanssweetheart23]

Cross My Heart

Title: Cross My Heart (Soldier!Dean AU)

Summary: Dean Winchester is a man who’s been to war and back, a man that’s lost loved ones and has seen too much to believe in love or fate or destiny. But when he meets a girl that radiates kindness and warmth, one that’s ready to love his shadowy corners and accept him for the man he really is, he begins to change his mind. And, when she shows him the darkness in her light, he promises himself that, no matter how hard things get, he’ll never let go of her. Because, he realizes, he loves her. And that is the beginning and end of everything. 

Author: deanssweetheart23

Characters: Dean Winchester x reader, Mary and John Winchester (both mentioned), Benny Laffite, Sam Winchester

Word count: 7026 (I know, I know it’s a monster fic, but I promise, it’s worth it)

Warnings: Fluff. Angst. Some language. Implied smut. Death of a parent. Loss. Mentions of blood and of the warzone (nothing too graphic). Bad marital relationship (not Dean associated). Domestic Dean Bean (yup, this should be a warning)  

Author’s Notes: This is my submission for @jpadjackles Double Birthday Challenge. My sweet B, thank you for letting me participate. I had the time of my life writing this and I can promise you, it ended up being a fic very close to my heart.

Special thank you to my twin @ravengirl94 for answering my stupid questions about the US Army, and being such an amazing best friend and beta. Without her, this story would have never been posted.

My prompt for this was Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop by Landon Pigg.(I am not American so every detail about the US Army in this fic is the result of research. If there’s a mistake in it, I apologize in advance.)

And, without further ado. Enjoy <3

The first time Dean sees her it’s on his mother’s birthday.

It’s a sunny day, sky a soft shade of blue, summer slowly creeping its way into his life and, even though he’s not sure of a lot of things, he somehow knows she would have loved this day.

He can almost see her, standing in the middle of their garden, sundress blowing with the wind, a smile gracing her lips while he’s whining because there’s no pie, and it’s all so tangible, so real, that he thinks he can reach out and touch her.

Her image disappears as soon as it’d appeared though, and he’s back in the middle of a crowded street, on his way home from training, all alone, with no plans for the day and no mum to celebrate with because his mother’s gone and nothing can bring her back.

The thought pulls at his heartstrings and he can feel it again, that sickening sensation of missing someone so much that all of his body cells are aching for her and he curses under his breath, already loathing the day.

And then she catches his eye.

She’s just sitting there, at the bay window of the old coffee shop that always seems to have some jazz melody pouring out of it, nose buried in a book.

She’s beautiful, he can tell that much, but what really stuns him is the way she’s holding the dog-eared book, fingers grazing the paper gently like it’s soft skin, eyes skimming the pages as she bits her bottom lip, a wrinkle in her brow. It’s been a while since Dean has seen someone so engrossed into something and he loses track of time, forgets that he’s burning holes on her until she looks up and her eyes meet his through the window.

And Dean is speechless, he’s terrified because he’s caught staring, but she smiles at him, soft and warm and genuine and it’s the purest, most breath-taking thing he’s ever seen.

So, he does what he’s never thought he’d do on a day that hurts him so much.

He returns the smile and watches as she goes back to her book, fingers tucking strays of hair behind her ear, then steals one, two, three long glances and leaves, mind already drifting to work and how he really needs to call his kid brother to see how he’s holding up.

He pretends he doesn’t think of her for the rest of the day.

Dean doesn’t believe in fate.

He doesn’t believe things happen for a reason and he’s seen enough to know that good things happen to bad people and bad to good ones and that there’s no one out there who gives a damn about how broken this world really is, no higher power that protects and loves and saves.

He’s seen kids dying, seen soldiers that had been laughing at his jokes the night before spitting blood from their mouths in the midst of a blaze of chaos and bullets. He’s seen his mum dying, his father turning into a shell of his old self and he’s returned from war only to wonder why.

Why the hell did he survive while others died?

And he knows, that there’s no one to answer.

So, yeah.

Dean doesn’t believe in fate.

But the next time he passes by that coffee shop, a couple of weeks later, he still stops for a second and lets his eyes drift to that bay window.

It’s stupid, he knows that, and makes him feel like he’s a character in a stupid Hallmark chick-flick, but he goes for it anyway, because, oddly enough, he feels like he’ll end up regretting it, if he just walks away like that.

But she’s not there, and for some reason, the day doesn’t seem as bright anymore and meeting with Benny for beers later doesn’t sound as fun.

Trying to swallow his disappointment, he crosses the street, pointedly ignoring that little building that has always seemed like a little piece of another world in the middle of his town.

He doesn’t go back for a month.

Dean’s almost convinced he’ll never see her again.

It makes sense, of course, because she’s nothing but a stranger that caught his eye for just a split second, one of those people that are somehow supportive characters in someone’s story without even knowing it, but it still baffles him a bit, still leaves a bitter taste in his mouth when he thinks of her.

Not that he thinks of her too often.

Nope.

He doesn’t.

But she’s a nice memory, lively and serene, and the image of her lost in her own world, scanning the pages of a book like it holds the world’s most precious secrets always manages to put a smile on his face in the darkest of hours, because, admittedly, he doesn’t believe in magic, but it’s comforting to know there are still a few people in the world that do.

So, he stops by the coffee shop a couple of times, but she’s never there and he loses all hope.

And then it happens.

He’s leaning against his shiny muscle car, right outside Benny’s house, arms folded in front of his chest, eyes focused on the front porch, when he hears a loud thump, followed by a string of extremely colorful expletives he doesn’t even know existed, and he stops and takes a breath to remind himself that he doesn’t have to reach for his gun, that he has no gun, because he’s safe, he’s back home in the States and his mind is just playing tricks on him.

He doesn’t have time to really dwell on it though because-

“Fuck. Fuck, fuckety fuck, fuck.” Someone mutters, voice soft and surprisingly pleasant.

And he doesn’t even realize it at first, but he’s already next to Sailor Mouth, and when he mumbles an  are you alright, ma’am and she turns to look at him, he swears that his whole world stops for a minute because it’s her.

It’s the girl from the coffee shop, cheeks a little flushed, hair a little disheveled and he wants to say something, he wants to say anything, but he can’t seem to find the words.

She smiles.

It’s gorgeous and genuine and a bit sheepish and he notes that if he’s thought she was beautiful before, now he knows she’s stunning.

“I’m fine. I’m just… Did I say all those things out loud?”

He laughs.

Even he is surprised at how easily the sound seems to bubble up his throat.

“Yeah, pretty sure you just did.”

“Oh God. I’m… It’s been a long day and I-”

“’S okay, kid.” He chuckles because she’s flustered and it’s the most adorable thing he’s ever seen. Then. “Here, lemme help with that.” He offers and crouches to the ground to pick up the books she’d dropped, eyes sweeping over the titles quickly.

“Interesting.”

“What’s interesting?” she implores, brow raised.

“Nothing, just,” he smirks a little, smug and playful, then licks his lips, “I didn’t really know people are still into Elizabeth Barret Browning. Since this is, you know, the 21st century.”

“Hey.” She whines, but there’s a smile playing at the corners of her lips. “Elizabeth Browning is frigging awesome, man.”

“Sure she is.”

She’s bothered now, forehead puckered and eyes ablaze with a sort of brightness that surprises him.

“Are you –how can you not like her? What’s next, are you going tell me you hate Shakespeare?”

“Well,” he chortles, shoving his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket, “I wasn’t going to say anything but-”

“Oh, c’mon. He’s Shakespeare.” She chants, spread-armed shrug as she stares at him in shock.

“Hmmm. Bit overrated if you ask me. Now Vonnegut on the other hand…”

“Of course you’d say that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? What could you possibly have against Slaughterhouse 5?”

“What could you possibly have against Hamlet?” she retorts, waggling the book she’s been holding.

“Look,” he tries again, titling his head to the left, “all I’m saying is the guy just whines too much, you know? And.” He jabs a finger at her. “He’s disgustingly sweet.”

“Right.” She huffs out, sarcasm laced in her voice. “Do you have a pen?”

“What?”

“Do you have a pen? It’s a simple question.” She states, then thinks about something and reaches for her bag. “Never mind, I got one. Just give me your hand.”

“I, uh,” he pauses, eyes drifting to the letters sprawled over his palm, “Sonnet 138?”

“Uh-huh.”

“What are you-”

“You should read it. Pretty sure it’ll change your mind on your whole disgustingly sweet thing.” She gushes, pink lips curling up in a self-satisfied smile that was one of the most beautiful things he’s ever seen.

“You’re-”

“Awesome. Yeah, I know.” She says, Y/E/C orbs drifting up to meet his, and beams so brightly he can’t really argue with her.

So, instead, he grins and just stares because there’s nothing else he can really do but search for colors and light and life into her eyes while he listens to her speak, about Shakespeare and the sonnets and how she’s definitely gonna prove him wrong.

He stops by the bookstore on his way home that day.

Dean’s nervous.

Sitting right next to her, he drinks in the way she throws her head back when she laughs at his joke, the way her perfume blends with the fragrant smell of fresh coffee and, even though he’s so forever stunned by how easy almost everything seems to be with her, part of him is still terrified that he’ll mess something up and make a fool of himself in front of her, like a teenage boy that just had a girl say hello to him for the first time.

“So,” she says, drumming her fingers on the table, soft smile gracing her lips, “I got an important question for you, Dean.”

He hums and arches a sly brow.

“All ears, sweetheart.”

“Apple pecan, blueberry buttermilk or coffee, walnut and chocolate chip?”

“I’m sorry, what?”

She laughs.

“They’re muffin flavors.” She explains, reaching for the catalogue. “You said you’ve never been to this coffee shop, right?” A nod. “Well. You got to try the muffins. They’re the best in the entire town. So. Apple pecan, blueberry buttermilk or coffee, walnut and chocolate chip?”

“I don’t really, uh… I’m not a muffin guy.”

A scowl.

Eyes rolled skywards.

“Not a muffin guy?”

“Yeah. I… Pie. I love pie.”

“That’s because you haven’t tried these muffins.”

He chuckles, corner of his mouth curving up in a smirk.

“Kid, no offense, but ain’t nothing in this world that’s gonna make me give up pie.”

Her lips twitch at his words, something he can’t quite put his finger on dancing in her eyes.

“You mean like there was nothing in this world that could make you come to this place?”

“Nope. See, that’s different.”

“It’s different because…?”

He smiles, a boyish grin that makes him look, at least, ten years younger.

“The only reason I agreed to this is because you said you loved this place.”

“And?”

“And I’m clearly trying very hard to impress you.”

“Clearly.”

“Now, what is that supposed to mean?”

“It means,” she says, mischief  coating her features, “that when the girl you’re trying very hard to impress wants you to try the muffins, you try the muffins, Dean.”

He laughs at that, but his eyes soften as they flicker over her face slowly.

“What? What was that look for?”

“Nothing…” he replies, scratching the back of his neck. “You just… You really love this place, don’t you?”

A breathless smile.

“Yeah, I really do.” She whispers, looking at him from the rim of her mug.  She pauses for a second, seemingly thinking about something, then licks her lips and continues. “My dad… He and I don’t really get along, -we never did quite frankly, so when things got a bit tough at home, my mum would bring me over here for breakfast. It was kind of our thing, you know?” she grins at the memory and looks at the table, seemingly counting the grains of sugar she’d spilled minutes earlier. “We still stop by when she visits.”

He sees the serenity that has settled into her eyes then, notices the tenderness that’s basically strapped into her soft voice, and grins, because it’s almost as if her love for that place seeps into his bare skin and makes him feel lightheaded.

Glancing at the silver band he never takes off, he twists it around his finger and just thinks for a minute.

And then-

“My mum used to take me fishing.” He tells her, absentmindedly cracking his knuckles. “See, my dad has always loved it, but he’s pretty bad at it. And I mean pretty bad, kid.” He chuckles, rough and low at the back of his throat, eyes glancing out of the bay window. “She’s always lied to him about it though. Didn’t want to hurt his feeling. So, when he said he wanted to teach me, she just took me to the lake one day and said Son, I’m gonna show you the ropes here but if your dad asks, this was all him.”

Y/N laughs at his words, nose scrunched up in the cutest of ways and leans closer, fingers tucking a strand stray of hair behind her ear.

“She sounds amazing.”

Her words are like a stab in the heart.

“Yeah. She, uh, she was.” He rasps, averting his gaze. “She died. When I was four.” He pauses, hoping that she didn’t hear the way his voice wavered. “Fire accident.”

And he waits for her to look at him like he’s a lost puppy, waits for some pitiful comment to leave her lips but instead-

“God –I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

“No, it’s –you’re fine, don’t worry.” He cuts her off but she hesitates, looks at him like she might want to apologize again, so he reaches for her hand, his knuckles scraped against her soft skin. “Seriously. We’re good.”

Cracking a small, grateful smile, she traces the back of his hand slowly.

“Well. I know it’s not what you want to hear but she… She would have been proud of you.”

And she might think it isn’t much, but he feels so overwhelmed, so absolutely floored by that statement, by the kindness in her eyes and that genuine smile she’s wearing that he wants to lean over and kiss her.

He doesn’t.

“Give it a little time, kid. You might change your mind.”

“That’s not gonna happen.” She blinks. “Unless you’re a serial killer.” A chuckle. Brows raised in question. “You’re not a serial killer, right?”

“Nope.” He grins, playfulness coating his features. “But you know what they say. Got to keep my options open.”

She barks out a laugh at that, the sparkling sound spilling from her lips and filling the space in between them with nothing but gleam and sunshine and, despite the fact he’s at a coffee shop with colorful walls and jazz vinyl records, all he sees, all he can see is the bright girl in front of him, the one that’s still holding his hand and smiles the most radiant smile he’s ever seen.

He’s never felt quite at home until now.

It takes him six more dates to kiss her.

He’s walking her back home from a carnival, small hand in his large one, fingers soundly intertwined together, and she looks so absolutely breath-taking under the moonlight that all he can do is stare, at the way the soft glow dances across her face, the way her eyes shine like diamonds, the way her lips curve up into the perfect smile.

So, when they stop under a lamppost and he says something that makes them both laugh until they can’t breathe, he gathers every ounce of courage, presses his forehead against hers, clasps the side of her face with his hand, and when her eyes flutter shut for just a second, he slowly ducks in and brushes his lips against hers.

It’s a ghost of a kiss, breathy and attentive at first, but then she whimpers into his mouth and he deepens it, winds an arm around her waist and, God, she tastes like whiskey and cinnamon and that cherry pie they shared earlier.

He’s never tasted anything better.

Dean’s happy.

It’s been there for a while now, he supposes, hidden in secret smiles and quiet afternoons spent in that coffee shop she loves so much, but it hasn’t really hit him, not until he sees her in his kitchen on a Saturday morning.

She’s just standing in front of the counter, dressed in one of his crisp white shirts, coffee pot in hand while she hums a familiar tune under her breath and he stares at her, bones turning into liquid at the way she moves into the little room like she’s always belonged there, and he can feel it, he can feel happiness and serenity and warmth pulling at his heartstrings.

Quietly, he wraps his arms around her waist and presses his lips against that soft spot on her neck that never fails to make her shudder.

“Mmmm. Good morning to me.” He mumbles, the words caressing her skin while they make their way into the fresh morning air.

She laughs then, that bright, lively laugh that he’s come to love and turns around to face him, hands finding their way around his neck within seconds.

“There you are, sleepyhead.” She murmurs, pecking the corner of his mouth. “I thought you’d never get out of bed.”

Instead of replying, he smirks, all playfulness and mischief, lifts her up and sets her on the counter, long fingers caressing the side of her face gently.

“Yeah, well” he starts, tucking a strand stray of hair behind her ear, “I didn’t exactly get much sleep last night.”

“Or maybe you’re just getting old.”

Growling, he rolls his eyes at her raised brows and gets an arm around her shoulders.

“’M gonna pretend I didn’t hear that because you’re cute and last night was pretty awesome.” He gloats, nudging his nose up against hers.

“Awesome, huh?”

“Kid, you have no idea.” He hums and leans in to kiss her, lazy and soft, grinning a little into it because, dammit, it’s a good day.

It’s all pastel touches and warm lips after that and when they finally break off, he braces his forehead against hers and takes a deep breath.

“You look good in that shirt by the way.” He whispers, parting her legs with his thigh and wrapping them around his waist.

She beams at him, cheeks going a bit pinkish.

“I do?”

“Yeah. As a matter of fact,” he starts, fingers undoing some buttons as they work their way down her breasts, “I think it looks better on you.”

She chuckles at that but then he latches his mouth on her neck and she sighs, that little sigh that lets him know he’s doing everything just right, the one he loves to pull out of her whenever he can, and, Jesus, he wants to-

“Easy there, cowboy.” She chuckles. “We got a date with your brother in a couple of hours.”

“Yeah, I know.” He says, tone matter of fact as his lips move along her sternum. “He can,” another kiss, “wait.”

“No, he can’t.” she objects, but he can feel her heartbeat against his chest, knows exactly the kind of effect his ministrations have on her. “D., I’m serious about this.”

“Hmmm,” he hums, sucking a kiss into her collarbone.

“Okay, you really need to,” she pants a little, “you need to stop that. We can’t be late.”

“Why not?” he implores, pulling back.

“Because I can’t just… I mean, I want…” she huffs out a breath in frustration, clearly struggling with her thoughts, then purses her lips and drops her eyes to the floor. “What if your brother doesn’t like me?”

“Not like –kid, how could someone not like you?”

“I dunno,” she shrugs, clutching at his arm, “why don’t you ask my dad?”

And he knows it’s not supposed to sound bitter, he knows she’s just being sarcastic, but he can still taste the sourness in his own tongue, because it’s something that could have dropped from his lips, because sometimes he can see shadowy corners of himself in her lightness, can see scars that for some messed up reason match his.

“Yeah, but to Sam’s defense, your dad’s a dick. My brother’s a good kid.”

“I know that but-”

Warm lips brush up against hers, soft but persistent, and for a moment, she loses herself completely in him and everything he is.

“You worry too much, sweetheart.”

“Well, I can’t really-”

“Sssh. Lemme help with that.” He breathes against her ear as he nibbles on her lobe, hand sliding from her waist to the inside of her thighs.

“You are so not helping.” She chuckles, breathy and loose.

He hums.

“D., you really have to stop. I have to go back home.”

“You know,” Dean says as he tugs her closer, pecking her forehead sweetly, “this would all be easier if you just lived here.”

The words are out of his mouth almost immediately and she freezes and goes tense under his arms while the whole room falls silent.

And, so, he waits.

He waits for one, two, three long bits and, when she still doesn’t speak, he begins to second-guess his own self, and starts to think that maybe it’s too big of a step for them to make, or that perhaps she doesn’t want to move in with someone who can’t even whisper those three little words to her, someone who’s less than anything she’ll ever deserve.

“Are you…” she lets out a chuckle and grazes his back with her fingers nervously, eyes wide and confused. “D., do you really mean that?”

Licking his lips, he nods and tucks some hair behind her ear.

“You spend most of the time here anyways.”

“Yeah, but do you want me here? Because what we have right now-”

“What we have right now is great.” Dean interrupts her and intertwines his fingers with hers soundly, smiling when he feels her squeezing in response.

“That’s what I’m saying. And I don’t want you to-”

“No, just…” he shushes her with a finger on the lips and chuckles a little at her adorable pout. “You asked me what I want, right?”

She nods.

“I want to have this. Every day. With you.” He explains, kissing her wrist. “So,” he locks eyes with her, all openness and softness, “move in with me.”

And he expects her to say yes, expects her to laugh and squeal and giggle in his arms, but instead, she ducks in, smooths her thumb over his jaw and kisses him, deep and ardent, and when her fingers sink into his hair he thinks that, yeah, he could really get used to this.

“I guess we’re doing this then.”

“God, yes…” She breathes, face breaking into a breathless smile, so bright and so sunny that it reminds him of spring and sunflowers.

So, he chuckles and kisses her, fingertips traveling to the junction of her thigh and hip slowly.

Moaning a bit, she squeezes her legs around his waist and he smirks against her mouth and hoists her into his arms.

“Dean, what on Earth are you-”

“’M taking you back to bed,” he hushes her, pressing his lips against hers.

“Your brother is-”

“Don’t care. Want you, sweetheart.” He rasps, mouth up her jaw. “Want you so much.”

Being late for lunch turned out to be just fine.

Dean’s in love with her.

He has been for a long time, maybe even since the very beginning, but the deeper he dives into her, grasping quirks and scars and warmth, the freer he falls, feelings he didn’t even know existed wrapping around his heart like vines and reviving every withered, every dead cell.

It’s something that’s always there, in boisterous afternoons spent within the crowds, joined hands a cardinal proof that he’s not alone anymore, in quick kisses and witty remarks whispered during hurried coffee dates on bustling days, but the sentiment is always louder, always purer in moments like this, moments of stagnation, when his whole world is wrapped up in her scent and the sound of her voice and the feel of her skin on his.

As if she’s just read his mind and knows he’s thinking of her, Y/N stretches out in the hammock, cat-like, and nuzzles his chest adorably, prompting a soft chuckle from him.

“You falling asleep on me, sweetheart?” he whispers, combing his fingers through her hair.

“Mmmm… ‘M just tired.”

“Told you we shouldn’t have driven four hours to see this place.” He teases and before he even has the chance to add anything she opens her eyes and growls at him, irritation coating her features. “Can’t see why you love it so much.”

“New Hampshire is gorgeous and you know it, heathen.” She gushes, ruffling his hair.

“Pffft. ‘S okay.”

“Yeah, right.” she huffs out, looking up at him. “You love this view.”

Grinning, he pulls her impossibly close, and locks eyes with her, in love with the way they shine brightly under the afternoon sun.

“Yeah,” he whispers, not averting his gaze. “I do.” A kiss on the tip of her nose. “I really do.”

He expects her to laugh, waits for her to blush or smile or call him a cuddly ol’ teddy bear like she usually does in occasions like this, but she just looks at him, Y/E/C orbs burning into his with an intensity that reminds him of lazy mornings and tender glances, of the nights he loves to spend plugged deep into her, smoothing calloused hands over bare skin, exploring edges and curves and pulling shaky whispers of soft love out of her.

It’s that look that pulls him right in, the one that mesmerizes and terrifies him at the same time because he knows exactly what it means.

So, he lets out a nervous laugh and mumbles a what? under his breath, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Nothing I’m just… I don’t know how I got so lucky with you.”

And he’s never thought that he could be that one good thing in somebody’s life but it’s so genuine and sweet-spoken that he believes it.

“You going all cheesy on me, kid?” he grins, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Shut up.” She whines, smacking his arm. “I mean that. Before you I thought I would –I didn’t believe I’d get to have something like this. The way I grew up, I-”

“Hey,” he cuts her off, thumb brushing against her bottom lip, “we’re not your parents. We’re never going to be your parents.” He promises, clasping the side of her face.

“D., -”

“Don’t. Kid, you have no idea how much I want this to work.” He objects and reaches out for her hand, interlocking their fingers together. “God, you don’t even know how much I-” he pauses, and swallows, all kinds of pent up emotions running through his veins, threatening to spill into his voice.

“How much you what?”

He takes a deep breath then and looks into her soft eyes, drinking in the way they’re staring back at him like he’s her entire world, the way her lips are pursed in an adorable frown, the way she furrows her brows in concern and she’s so unbelievably pure in that moment, so real, that he wants to let go, wants to stop holding back, to stop being so frigging afraid.

And so-

“How much I love you.” he whispers, just three little words, out in the open. “Sweetheart, I-”

“I love you too.” She cuts him off, propping herself on her elbow to straddle him, hands cupping his face as she leans in. “I love you so much.”

And then she kisses him like she’s never kissed him before, deep and demanding and a bit desperate, and, he grips at her, lets his hands wander beneath her sundress, and he knows.

She’s been the one for him all along.

Dean’s going to break her heart.

He should have seen it coming really, should have known that nothing good would ever come out of a relationship with him, but he’d been so fascinated by her kind heart and her sweet acceptance, he’d fallen so stupidly and insanely in love with her that he’d forgotten he was practically poison for everyone and anyone around him.

And yet, now that she’s looking at him, soft, wide eyes curious and concerned, he knows he’s going to break her in ways no other man ever had.

“D? Everything okay?” she implores, hand reaching out to touch his and he shuts his eyes closed for a second and lets himself get lost in her softness.

He blinks and nods, squeezing her fingers in response.

“Was that your dad? You sounded kind of-”

“No, that was –kid, that was my CO.”

“Your CO?” she repeats, forehead puckered. “But I thought you said you had the day off .”

“I did. I do…” he sighs, running a hand over his face tiredly. “He, uh, he wanted to tell me that I…”  A glance that’s filled with sorrow and regret. “I got called back on active duty.”

Silence.

Everything around them, every single sound fades into the background until there’s silence and nothing else and even though she doesn’t say anything, Dean swears that every single thing she’s feeling floats across her face like a lonely cloud on the pristine sky.

“But you’re on reserve duty, right? They can’t just do that.”

“’S not that simple, Y/N. If they need me, they can do pretty much anything.”

She nods, eyes a little lost and face white as a hospital sheet and, God,  he wants to take her in his arms and tell her that’s everything is going to be okay, but he can’t lie to her.

“So, you have to go.” She whispers slowly, eyes drifting to the spilled coffee in front of her.

“So, I have to go.”

“How long do we-”

“A month.”

She hums, biting on her bottom lip hard enough to draw blood, orbs dark and misty.

His stomach plummets.

“You’re leaving in a month.”

He mumbles a yeah under his breath and notices the tears in her eyes.

He almost chocks on dry air.

“Hey,” he whispers softly, running a hand over his jaw, “don’t go crying on me now, sweetheart.”

“I’m sorry.” She whines, sniffing a bit. “I’m just… D., I can’t-”

“You’re not going to.” He objects, reaching up to wipe away the wetness. She leans into his touch, almost absentmindedly, and he smiles just a little, despite himself. “’S not my first rodeo.”

She laughs, bitter and wrecked.

“That doesn’t make me feel better.”

“Well, it should.” He smirks, all smug and swagger, even if he’s dying on the inside. “I’m not gonna die, kid. I love you too much to just leave you like that.”

She looks at him, looks into his eyes, searching for something.

“Do you promise?”

Instead of replying, he smiles, soft but honest and reaches out for her, manipulating their fingers until they’re laced together, then brings their joined hands to his lips.

“Cross my heart.” He vows and kisses her knuckles sweetly.

He lets himself store the feeling of skin against lips on memory but the serenity that simple intimacy gives him evaporates almost immediately, because his mind drifts to the small velvet box that’s been hiding in the pocket of his leather jacket for almost a month, the one with the elegant diamond ring his mum used to own.

And he prays to God he’ll get to keep his promise.

Dean’s been gone for 240 days.

He sends letters, even calls when he can, but she misses him, misses his scent and his smile, the way he throws his entire body into laughter, the way his eyes shine like caramel when the light catches them just right.

But she holds on.

She reads all the messy scribbles he sends, no matter how bedraggled and jumbled they are, listens to his gruff voice as it blends with the sound of static when he tells her he misses her and he can’t wait to kiss the hell out of her again, drives around his Baby with love and makes sure Sam’s doing okay just like she promised him she’d do.

And she waits.

She waits and hopes, no matter how much it tears her apart, because there’s nothing else she can do.

And then there’s a knock on the door one day.

She’s in the kitchen with Benny, making dinner for them and his girlfriend, when she hears it, a loud thump that sounds like a porcelain heart breaking.

Slowly, she reaches out for the towel, but Benny beats her to it, laying a hand over her shoulder.

“I got it, Muffin. Emily’s probably here early anyways.” He tells her, blue eyes lighting up in adoration and she chuckles a little at how love-struck he looks, and goes back to stirring the pasta, throwing a Call me if you need anything and for God’s sake, don’t have sex on my couch over her shoulder.

And she waits for Benny’s warm voice to echo in the rooms of the house, waits for Emily’s laugh to fill the place, waits for them to come into the kitchen, Benny’s hand wrapped around her waist, no matter how much the blonde woman claims to hate it, but nothing happens and she knows something is wrong.

So, she almost storms into the living room and stops dead in her track as soon as she sees them.

Sam standing at the door, tears in his eyes.

Dean’s dog-tag in Benny’s hands.

And she knows what that means, they all know what that means, but she still shakes her head, wraps her arms around her middle and mutters a broken no under her breath.

“Y/N, I-” Sam starts, taking a step forward, voice hoarse and numb.

“No. This can’t –there must have been some sort of mistake. Dean can’t –he’s not…” she chocks, despite the tightness in her throat.

“There was a road side bomb.” Sam tries to explain, taking a tentative step forward. “Dean –he was at a convoy somewhere with his team.”

“No.” she almost screams, bumping into the sofa. “He’s not…. He promised me. He said he’d come back, he…” she pauses and takes a deep breath, tears streaming down her face, then runs a hand over it. “I got one of his letters yesterday, he can’t just-”

“They were ambushed, Y/N. No one –only one person survived the explosion and he’s in critical condition. The bodies, they’re…. charred up, no one can know-”

“So maybe he wasn’t there.” She cries, hope floating across her face “Maybe this is some sort of mistake and he’s-”

“He’s not. He’s… Y/N, my brother’s dead.”

My brother’s dead.

The words echo soundlessly into her head as Dean’s smile flashes before her eyes.

She remembers the first time she saw him, remembers how bright his eyes were as he helped her pick up the books she’d dropped and teased her about Shakespeare.

There was a road side bomb.

She remembers the look of pure interest and concentration on his face as she talked to him about her favorite book on their first date, remembers the way his eyes sparkled every time he talked about Sammy.

Dean –he was at a convoy somewhere with his team.

She remembers the way his lips felt against her own every time he kissed her, the way their bodies always fit together like pieces of the same puzzle, the way he worshiped here, passion and lust blending with tenderness and love every time he wrapped himself around her.

The bodies, they’re…. charred up

She remembers the nights they spent laying side by side after he’d woken up from yet another nightmare, looking at each other’s eyes and muttering secrets to one another until they fell asleep,  the days of pure bliss spent by the lake at New Hampshire, filled with swimming and love-making and laughs and soft, tender touches.

My brother’s dead.

She remembers every graze of skin, every whispered promise, every smile and every tear and she realizes she’ll never have that again.

My brother’s dead.

My brother’s dead.

My brother’s dead.

She falls into her knees and begins to sob.

She’s sitting there again.

The girl with the Y/H/C hair and the bright Y/E/C eyes that found love in that small coffee shop is sitting next to the bay window, a Vonnegut book in hand while she sips at her beverage leisurely.

But she’s different now. She drives a 67 Chevy Impala and always wears a dog tag around her neck. She doesn’t radiate hope and bliss like she used to and doesn’t believe in magic anymore.

It’s the first time she visits the coffee shop in six months. She’s tried to stop by before, tried to go there with Benny or Sam but she never made it to the door because everything hurt too much.

Everything reminded her of Dean, of the day everything started, of the day that signified their end even if they both hadn’t realized it back then, and she couldn’t let herself be buried in that blur of emotions that just wouldn’t let her be, wouldn’t let her breathe properly.

Today’s different though.

Today she knows that they would have gone there together, so she’s there, sitting at the table they used to sit, pretending that he’s there with her, that he holds her hand and whispers jokes into her ear, laughing that rich, warm laugh of his that she misses so damn much.

The bell above the door dings and pulls her out of her thoughts, but she’s too overwhelmed and too spent to care.

She hears footsteps, feels someone burning holes at her from behind and, God, she wants to yell and cry at the same time because she’s so tired, so absolutely drained from all these people that look at her like she’s a beaten puppy.

But then-

“You know for a birthday girl, you look pretty miserable.”

And she freezes because that voice is so familiar, it’s the one that has been sneaking into the corners of her mind for months, the one she wishes she could hear again, just once, and it’s loud and clear and there.

So, she turns around slowly and when freckles and broad shoulders swim into view the breath hitches in her throat because the man standing in front of her might look older than he really is, burdened with death and ghosts of loved ones and loss, he might look worn out and tired, but his eyes, those eyes that can turn into a million different shades of green in the blink of an eye, are as bright as she remembers them when they lock into hers.

“You’re –you’re back. You’re alive.” She stutters stupidly, tears glistening as she gets on her feet.

“Well,” he smiles that crooked smile she’s missed so much, scratching the back of his neck nonchalantly, “I promised, didn’t I?”

And it’s all she needs to hear, everything she needs to know, it’s an answer that’s so simple, so solely and uniquely Dean, that she breaks into sobs in the middle of the coffee shop until his large hands wrap around her waist, pull her to his solid chest and squeeze like he’s afraid she’s not real, that someone will take her away from him again.

“Ssssh,” he coos, kissing the top of her head softly “it’s okay. I’ve got you now, sweetheart.”

Another sob rips through her and she clutches at his shirt, body wracking with defeat.

“They said –they told me you were dead.”

Swallowing around the lump in his throat, Dean drops another kiss on her hair and then cups her chin and forces her to look at him, eyes dark and filled with unshed tears, a fading scar between his brows.

“They thought I was.” he explains, dabbing away the saltiness. “After the bomb went off, I was... I was trapped behind enemy lines. Busted my leg real bad too.”

“Are you-”

“’M fine. The pain –I could take that… But knowing I couldn’t get to you… Knowing you thought I was dead, it killed me. And I was worried… When I finally found a way to get back here I thought you’d have-”

“Don’t,” she pleas, cupping the side of his face, “don’t say that. You’re…”

He nods slowly and sucks in a breath.

“Just,” she sighs in a whose, grazing his jawline gently, “never do that to me again.”

He smiles, the first real smile in over a year.

“Never again, kid.” He promises, voice wavering, mouth millimeters away from hers. “Never again.”

She laughs the laugh of a mad woman, broken and relieved and overwhelmed, and he leans in, brushes his nose against her jaw and ever so slowly, he captures her lips with his.

He tells her everything she needs to know with that kiss, takes everything she has to give, pain and tears, love and longing, and it’s like she breathes life into him all over again, it’s like that first kiss under the lamppost in the middle of the street on a summer night, a kiss that’s able to put all of his broken pieces back together and make him feel whole again.

And Dean tastes everything, drinks everything in and gives it back tenfold, knowing that he’s really back and she’s real and she’s his, she’s always been his and he smiles against her lips.

He’s right where he belongs.

Forever Tags: @jpadjackles @supernatural-jackles @ravengirl94 @percywinchester27 @hannahindie @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @trexrambling @pickupthatamulet @impala-dreamer @imagining-supernatural @becs-bunker @wordstothewisereaders @winchestersnco @sgarrett49 @myrabbitholetoneverland @iwriteaboutdean @ruprecht0420 @captainemwinchester @mogaruke @imissyoualittlemoreeveryday @wellthatsrandomkek @jayankles @keepcalmandcarryondean  @escabell @thevioletthourr @kathaswings @tiny-friggin-human​ @winchesters-flannels​ @akshi8278​ @atari-writes​ @emilywritesaboutdean​ @ofloveandlonging​ @mandilion76​ @polina-93​ @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester​ 

Cross My Heart Tags: @jensen-akf​ @samsfabuloushair​ @shamelesslydean​

[thevalorieclark]

Star Wars: The Last Jedi, or OMFG Y’ALL *heart eyes emoji*

I am Poe and this movie is Finn. If you don’t read any further, that is an accurate summary of my feelings right now.

I know there is so much talk about The Last Jedi going around right now and I am just one drop in a very large lake of thoughts but I can’t stop thinking about this movie. I went to a 7 pm showing last night and the crowd was amazing--a lot of clapping, whoops and cheers during all the right moments. Everyone was excited to be there and excited to see this universe coming back to life. It added a level to the experience I didn’t see coming. 

There’s a lot I want to say and examine and I know I’m not going to get around to all of it. Stuff like Laura Dern as Vice Admiral Holdo, for one. Luke and Leia’s relationship is another thing I want to write for pages and pages on. Adam Driver’s performance just in general because he is amazing in this. There’s a lot happening in this movie and I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to go see it again to really sink my teeth into every moment. But here’s what I took away so far. 

I was going to try to do this without spoilers, but it’s just not possible. So under the cut are more thoughts on this, GLORIOUS SPOILERS AND ALL. 

First of all, there’s a lot of explosion-porn, which of course there is. It took about one scene for that to start. But the explosion-porn felt even more artistically prettier than it normally does. And the new worlds they encountered and created were just gorgeous. There’s an entire planet that seems to be made of crystals and salt, which for some reason turn red when walked on? I don’t know, but it’s really nice symbolism for spilling blood on a previously pristine white field. The same planet is home to tinkling crystal foxes, which were gorgeous and cute. 

There’s a lot of cute/cool alien creatures in the film, ones which aren’t “characters” per say but interact with the characters. They don’t get in the way of the plot but serve to enhance it and make every world they enter seem more three-dimensional. There’s one creepy animal that Luke milks, and then the animal looks at Rey with some weirdly sexual implication which could have, should have, been edited out. One kind of space-horse animal in particular serves as a good plot device, but also serves as this amazing indictment of the super-wealthy arms dealers, and gives Kelly Marie Tran’s character Rose a well-rounded sort of heart without which Rose would have been at risk of just being a flat fangirl character. 

Speaking of Kelly Marie Tran--We’ve got racial and ethnic diversity! Yay, I’m here for that. It’s not just white male fighter-alien-white male fighter-alien-white male fighter-woman/princess character-alien-etc etc etc. Kelly Marie Tran is an amazing earnest member of the Resistance in this! John Boyega is a wonderful nuanced man who can’t decide if he wants to be a hero or run very very very far away! Oscar Isaac is quickly climbing the ranks to be one of my favorite humans in any movie ever! 

There are women who are just... you know, there. It’s not just a room full of white dudes with Carrie Fisher being addressed as princess and standing in the middle. Leia gets addressed as General! A woman helps in Poe’s side plot... that is ultimately weird and basically useless! But it tells us so much about his character! And there’s a woman in it! Who isn’t a princess! 

But there’s still no queer characters. I mean, I hate to beat a dead horse here but I think yelling about this got us somewhere with race, so I’m going to keep talking about it. I understand there’s not a ton of room for romance in a war movie and I’m fine with that. After all, I didn’t pay for a movie called Star Wars to watch two people fall in love. That’s what’s always worked for the most successful Star Wars romantic plot lines--they never really took central stage and they always served a bigger purpose. 

But you’re going to tell me that in this entire universe there isn’t one single character who isn’t heterosexual? Are you joking? 

And all this with the Finn and Poe chemistry right there. 

I mean, would that have been so hard to lean into? Fans wanted it, the actors seemed fine with it in interviews, and it’s about damn time there was some romantic chemistry between people who were facing just normal death instead of meant-to-save-the-universe levels of death like Leia. And it’s not like the romantic plot line they gave Finn with Rose was particularly good. 

They’ve even talked in interview about doing this! JJ Abrams (in Express, so... you know) confirmed that there would be some homosexual characters in the films. So...where are they? Just like there are characters who are now incidentally not-white and incidentally not-male, give me some characters who are incidentally not-hetero. It’s time. 

Are they trying to set up a love triangle in the film? Is BB-8 the space equivalent of Poe’s dog? Who knows, but General Organa looks great. 

Finn and Rose were...I don’t know. They’re a cute couple, I guess. But Rose is framed as us, the audience. She is a normal person in the Star Wars world, and our heroes are her heroes. It’s amazing! I love this character and I can’t wait to see more of her. For her to fall in love with one of the heroes seemed both really obvious (as in, who wouldn’t fall in love with their hero?) and not earned literally at all.

The first time Rose meets Finn she fan girls over him...and then basically arrests him for being a coward. This should bring down her idea of him as a hero, right? Oh, he’s just like us, he gets scared sometimes. Nope, never see that happen. 

The two come up with a plot together to save the Rebels. Great. So far so good. They go to Poe, who sends them out while he stays on the ship to protect the Rebels the best way he knows how while General Organa lies in a coma. Finn and Rose are off to the races--literally. They go to a place that is basically the Star Wars equivalent of Monaco, which is beautiful and fun on the outside but really disgusting and amoral and horrifying once you scratch the surface. They free a bunch of space-horses who are adorable and get Finn and Rose out of harm’s way for a minute or two. Rose is in control and Finn is mostly just along for the ride.

They get on a ship, head toward the First Order ship to commit some sabotage, they’re betrayed by Benicio del Toro playing Benicio del Toro, they get arrested by the bad guys who recognize Finn from his stormtrooper days, and barely make it out alive when BB-8 comes to the rescue for the fifth time or so. Seriously, this droid is the real MVP here.

They meet up with the rebels on aforementioned gorgeous ice planet, Poe is wildly excited to see BB-8 and they have this adorable human/dog moment, and then back to fighting. In this, the odds are of course against them, and they look like they’re going to lose but Finn gets really stubborn and goes on a one-man suicide mission even though Poe and Rose are telling him to bail out. 

Rose decides to save Finn’s life, almost getting herself killed in the process. She delivers what could have been a great line: “That’s how we win. Not by killing those we hate, but by saving those we love.”* Except it’s punctuated by her kissing him, which he doesn’t even see coming, and then she faints. 

*Something to this extent. I can’t find the quote online yet, but that’s the gist.

It’s just... frustrating. Because of course the young star-eyed girl falls in love with the hero guy, who barely notices her. They make a good team but there’s no hint that he sees her that way. It’s debatable that maybe he does right at the end when he puts a blanket over her, except she’s unconscious. Plus, that moment seems to be more focused on underscoring Rey’s feelings about missing Finn and trying to figure out what his relationship is with Rose. 

You know what would have been a better outcome? Rose realizing she’s equal to the other heroes of the Resistance. Maybe she’s not Leia Organa or Rey or Finn, but her contribution matters. She knows Finn is just another human (he got scared! he tried to run!) and now she’s a hero herself. And maybe soon people will know her name. What a wonderful arc for this character! And what an inspiring arc for young girls (and young people in general) seeing their heroes and watching a “nobody” become a hero too. Anyone can become a hero, there is no such things as nobodies, you don’t have to be strong in the Force like Rey or Luke to be a hero. Strong in the Force is something Rey doesn’t have much of a choice with. Rose gets to make choices and those choices lead her to be a hero.

The kiss and declaration of love felt shoe-horned in. It cheapened the character growth both of those characters went through. And it felt like a forced way to amp up the tension between Rey and Finn. 

They also seem to be setting up Rey to have several potential love interests? She asks after Finn repeatedly throughout the movie. There’s some feeling of flirtation when she finally meets Poe. The chemistry between Rey and Kylo Ren seems mostly about being on opposing sides and trying to convert the other, but there also seemed to be a bit of attraction confused into it. They both need saving and want to save the other, and importantly they also both see the other as a potential savior. There’s a draw there, an attraction. They need each other.

And I get it--all of these (Rose/Finn, Rey/anyone, even Finn/Poe) are “Thank God we’re alive” romance. It’s “we don’t actually have much in common but we’re both here and going through this intense thing” emotion. Emotions are heightened, and so what could have just been curiosity becomes attraction and lust. I get it. That’s a very human thing. But please, fight it. Lean into romantic storylines that build up the story and character arcs overall, not undermine it. 

Okay. Goodness. And I haven’t even talked much about the main characters or plot lines yet. Y’all, this movie just has so much to chew on. 

So, Rey and Kylo Ren, or Ben as she calls him (his given name from his parents Leia and Han Solo). Their best performances are mostly with each other. A lot of the movie, plot and pacing, hinges on this chemistry and it delivers. God Daisy Ridley and Adam Driver are good together. For the first half of the movie Rey and Kylo are talking despite being in different parts of the universe because their minds are connected by the Force. It creates this intimacy that allows us to see Kylo Ren’s conflicted emotions, to get to know them both as they start to grapple with making difficult decisions in a difficult world. They finally end up in a room together, and Kylo is made to kill his “true enemy.” It’s dramatic. Finally, he chooses to save Rey and they team up to kill high ranking members of the First Order. 

There’s a moment after this bloodbath where Ben reaches out and asks Rey to be on his team; they could create some kind of new world together. Ben doesn’t want to be part of the First Order anymore, but when he asks Rey to come with him, no one really knows where that leads. Could it be a more peaceful world? We have no idea. Maybe. And I think Rey’s decision to leave and stay with the Resistance and the “old way” instead of finding a way to build a new world with Ben is going to end up giving rise to Kylo Ren being a greater power with less internal conflict. He destroyed his helmet to get away from the Darth Vader relationship, but his attempts to reach out--to Rey, even to Luke--have failed. There’s a very poignant moment when he holds Han Solo’s dice from the Millennium Falcon in his hands, but they fade away and he is alone. 

There’s some moral questioning here. There’s grey area. There’s more of a chance for change, there’s room in people for complication, difficulty, decision. Luke wears black instead of white and Kylo Ren seriously considers abandoning the path he has been on. Rey even struggles, hoping the Dark Side can show her her parents, but pulls back to do what what’s right. It makes the main characters seem more believable. It would have been nice to see more of that from the First Order side (Kylo seems to be the only one there considering things could be different), but I liked what I saw and it seemed believable. 

This movie could so easily be really political. It’s hard to ignore that the #resist movement in the US started up right as Rogue One came out and Carrie Fisher died last year, and that the movement is mainly about a fight against fascism in the same way that the whole Star Wars series is a metaphor for fighting the Nazis. In a way, the whole movie is political because it’s about a political rebellion, but there’s not a lot of politics talk in it, certainly not the way there was in the prequels. I mean, this is Episode VIII, so theoretically everyone watching knows what the war is about, but it would have been so easy for a character to give a rousing speech about making everyone equal in an unequal and unjust society. There are inspiring speeches after heavy losses, but there’s less of the First Order talking about making a more perfect society than I expected, and less rebels enumerating their cause than I expected. 

The most political moment is more subtle, and it could pass you by if you’re too invested in the explosions. It’s in space-Monaco, which has a name I can’t remember, where the ultra-wealthy of all colors and races, including alien, go to drink and gamble and drip with diamonds and generally throw their money around. It’s revealed that most of them get their money from selling weapons to the First Order. Rose reveals that her family is from this planet, and when the wealthy took over, they slaughtered her native people by testing their weapons on them. It’s a pretty on-the-nose metaphor for the way settlers treated the First Nations people they encountered in North America, and for the way the Nazis experimented on non-Aryan people in WWII, and basically for every single way humans in power have ever treated humans that were not in power. Naturally, they also treat the poor and the animals (space-horses!) horribly, beating them and whipping them. In the basement underneath the floors of glamour and excess, young boys live in the stables with the space-horses, and are treated by their owners exactly like Luke was in Episode IV. (Do you already see where this is going? Good, me too.) 

The whole city becomes a powerful indictment of being an amoral person in an unjust world. In a wonderful move, Rose has to teach Finn about it. Finn, a hero of the Resistance who defected from the First Order, has no idea what this place is or where it’s wealth comes from. It’s interesting because of the way it subverts our expectations in the US (who knows more about oppression and violence than black men in America?) and also because it changes what Finn originally saw as beautiful to representing everything he was already fighting. He had forgotten that their war doesn’t stop at the front lines, but extends to every (in this scene very literal) level society. He gets to destroy some of it, which is cathartic but ultimately doesn’t do anything because they can always rebuild; he has to return to the front line to fix this part too. Finn was scared before when he forgot what the fight meant, but we know he’s not scared now that he’s seen this. It leads directly into his suicide mission and Rose’s line about saving people we love. 

The closing of the movie sees one of the stable boys with Rose’s old resistance ring. He’s sweeping and looking out at the stars, either waiting to be saved or waiting to start fighting. He is the next in the line of Lukes and Reys. 

In some ways, I think that is what this movie is about--handing over the reigns of the previous leaders to the new. By the end, Kylo Ren leads the First Order. Luke Skywalker has died. Leia is still alive but is clearly grooming members of the Resistance to lead soon. There’s a wonderfully funny moment when we clearly see this: Poe says, “Follow me!” to save everyone, but they all look to General Organa. She looks behind herself and says, “What are you looking at me for? Follow him!” We know (not just because Carrie Fisher has died but because of what the movie is telling us) that General Organa is going to step down soon, and we’re going to be looking at a fight led by Rey and Poe and Finn and Rose. I for one, can’t wait.

[weareallkosh]

tagged by @lurkz

The last 1. drink: creme soda 2. phone call: a technical review for one of my parts at work. 3. text message:  Sent? “This cat is the only thing I have ever encountered that expresses affection by buzzing loudly and nibbling on my elbow.” 4. song you listened to: "Angel of the Morning”, apparently. Go Deadpool soundtrack? 5. time you cried: I can’t remember. I’m absolutely certain I have since then but the last I can remember clearly is the first time I saw GotG2. Have you ever 6. dated someone twice: If you mean got back together with somebody after breaking up, no. If you mean had precisely 2 dates with somebody and never again... well you just described high school. 7. kissed someone and regretted it: Nope 8. been cheated on: I doubt it 9. lost someone special: Yes 10. been depressed: I mean, right now. But definitely worse 2013-2016, I was on medication for it and all. 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Only once, never again shall I be so drunk. 3 favorite colors 12. blue 13. green 14. gray                                                                                  

In the last year have you: 15. made new friends: Indeed (we’ll assume Tumblr mutuals count) 16. fallen out of love: Nope 17. laughed until you cried: definitely 18. found out someone was talking about you: Well, I know @sithwitch13 shares the dumb shit I do/say with @lurkz, but beyond that not really. 19. met someone who changed you: everybody I meet changes me a little, right? 20. found out who your friends are: In the sense that I found out who a few of them aren’t. 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: I should think so, I’m married to one of them, she’d probably be upset if I hadn’t kissed her in year. General: 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: 91.3% of them, and the others are friends-of-friends I just haven’t met. I keep my FB friends list pretty neat. 23. do you have any pets: two cats, Tonks and Fatty (who is not nearly so fat as he was when we took him in, and doesn’t really deserve the nickname anymore) 24. do you want to change your name: Not so long as people respect my desire to go by my middle name. 25. what did you do for your last birthday: @sithwitch13 and I went to the Hobbit Cafe up in town (exactly what it sounds like), then we went to Dave and Busters with a few friends - @kivat, her BF, some local buddies. 26. what time did you wake up: 6:40 AM, with the alarm and dreams of Tumblr discourse echoing through my brain. 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: For once, I was actually asleep I think. 28. name something you can’t wait for: The Last Jedi 31. what are you listening to right now: Typing from the next room, a noisy dog upstairs. When I’m done with this, maybe an audiobook for a while. 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: I have a good friend named Tom, though we haven’t talked that much recently.

33. something that is getting on your nerves: the executive and legislative branches of our government (just gonna leave this because truth) 34. most visited website: lately, Tumblr. I also check Jezebel, Kotaku, and RockPaperShotgun way too much. 35. hair colour: light brown, where it’s not starting to go gray from stress. 36. long or short hair: short, but due for another trim. 39. piercings: That’s a hard nope... 40. blood type: Blue (sorry, bad joke, I’m Evangelion trash). I don’t recall the real one, AB+ I think? 41. nicknames: Don’t really have one. We’ll see if @lurkz, @sithwitch13, or @kivat decide I need one after seeing this. I use Ragnarok or Echani as a screen name a lot of places but that doesn’t count. 42. relationship status:  happily married, but more romantic partners might be a possibility depending on the circumstances and the right woman or guy. Also... hasn’t been discussed to the point you’d say it’s a QPR or platonic partnership or the like, but she’s family as I see it and that means a lot. 43. zodiac: Capricorn 44. pronouns: he/him, though some days they/them would be fine by me too. 45. favourite tv show: Oh man. Babylon 5, The Expanse, both Star Wars series, Farscape, Neon Genesis Evangelion. 46. tattoos: several planned, haven’t found the artist to do them yet. 47. right or left handed: sinister (left) 48. surgery: appendectomy

49. piercing: only if stabbed                                           

50. sport: to watch? Football (American that is), but only really college ball and only rarely. Playing? I don’t really anymore but I like archery and fencing, and really need to get back into a martial art. 51. vacation: Badly needed. Last that wasn’t just a weekend jaunt was up to NYC to visit. Next might be to Vegas or such. Really want to go back to Hawaii or Italy, or make a nice tour of the UK or Germany. 52. pair of trainers: Hans and Franz? (not sure what this is really asking, but I guess the Sketchers crosstrainers I work out in? Not favorites exactly but I have them so...)

More general: 53. eating: I recently ate some cheese. Before that, fajitas and a popsicle. 54. drinking: water 55. i’m about to: embrace sweet oblivion until another work day tomorrow 56. waiting for: maybe doing character generation for an RPG this weekend 57. want: to hopefully not see the start of WW3 (left because accurate) 58. get married: Already did, so the “get” part is an issue because the government won’t let me do it again unless I get rid of my current marriage first and... no. I could potentially see a commitment ceremony or something though if circumstances merited it. 59. career: rocket scientist (though technically I don’t work on the rocket part, I work on the astronaut part, and I kind of want to stop doing it) Which is better: 60. hugs or kisses: Hugs generally speaking, though sometimes nothing will do but a kiss 61. lips or eyes: Eyes, so very much. 62. shorter or taller: Yes.

63. older or younger: Doesn’t matter, though close to my age is nice.

64. nice arms or nice stomach: matter less than the person, but both are... well, nice 65. hook up or relationship: relationship 66. troublemaker or hesitant: Troublemaker, at least as regards me :-P Have you ever: 67. kissed a stranger: No, not my scene 68. drank hard liquor: Prefer it; only have a drink or two a week though

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: surprisingly, no 70. turned someone down: In retrospect, yes, though I didn’t know at the time that’s what I was doing... 71. sex on the first date: Extremely unlikely 72. broken someone’s heart: Hah, I doubt it. 73. had your heart broken: seemed that way at the time, but I was young and stupid so maybe not 74. been arrested: no 75. cried when someone died: yes 76. fallen for a friend: You betcha. Do you believe in: 77. yourself: I believe in the me that believes in me. 78. miracles: Not really, no. 79. love at first sight: Attraction and chemistry? Yes. Love? No. 80. santa claus: Not since I was very small indeed. 81. kiss on the first date: sure 82. angels: Shinji and Asuka took care of them.

Other: 83. current best friend’s name: Mary 84. eye colour: Kinda shifts between blueish and green depending on what I’m wearing. More green I think. 85. favourite movie: I can’t pick just one. The Matrix, Return of the Jedi, Dr. Strangelove for the top 3 maybe.

tag you’re it: @kivat if you want to, otherwise tag yourself (you’re it!)

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 12x18 “The Memory Remains”

(●ω●✿)

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06:42

new writer John Bring??? let’s hope he BRINGs something neat to the table (sorry i had to)

the promo for this looked intriguing and scary so i am READY

(director Phil Sgriccia. the best director imo, booty shots and bisexual subtext)

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06:45

goddamn it, wrong file. 12x18 seems less available than episodes usually are at this time?? granted i’m looking for 720p x264 but still

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06:57

while i’m waiting another hour (yaaay), i just realised, something i really like about Steve Yockey’s episodes (12x06, 12x10, 12x20) is that he puts his characters’ names in the episode title. ie. Asa Fox, Lily Sunder, Tasha Banes.

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06:59

oh ffs i’m too impatient, i’mma get a regular sized download

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07:21pm

okay here goes

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07:22

still sad about mick

all that character development and cas-paralleling for notHING

they made us care about him just to kill him and i’m not actually sure what the point was

(to make us realise the BMol are the bad guys again, i suppose)

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07:23

dear kid who’s weirded out by all the straight couples sucking face

this immediately needs more gay

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07:25

okay no maybe it’s a good thing it wasn’t gay because that kid is gonna DIIEEEE

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07:27

meredith glynn is a co-producer?? SWEET

is it weird i’m proud of her

like i know nothing about her but I FEEL EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED

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07:29

dean’s worried about cas and his expression and mannerisms make him look like a sad child

smol bean with a gun

i feel like 90% of dean’s angst these past couple years have just been him MISSING CAS with all the force of a thousand suns

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07:31

sam mentions dean missing cas, and dean immediately calls him “reading rainbow”

which i know is a reference to the book thing with LaVar Burton

but rainbows

dean’s like “i’m not gay you’re gay”

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07:35

dean: “pchew!”

cas needs to marry this fuckin dork stat

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07:37

i swear i’ve seen that background painting 5 times before

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07:42

the newest instalment in the ongoing adventures of dean and recreational drugs

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07;44

DEAN YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND STOP THIS

honestly cas goes missing for 5 minutes

like seriously have you tried masturbating maybe

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07;46

thE HOT COFFEE THING

welp

i’m cringing and laughing at the same time

SOMEONE BRING BACK CAS THIS IS HURTING MY FEELINGS

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07:47

sam is me right now

*heavy sigh*

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07:50

DEAN’S SO FUCKING CUTE WHEN HE’S WITH PEOPLE HE’S ATTRACTED TO

HE’S SO CLOSE AND CUDDLY UGH

PLEASE GOD LET HIM BE LIKE THAT WITH CAS SOMEDAY ;A;

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07:52

“3 sheeps” on the wall

definitely symbolism

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sam says “uncontrollable lust” WELP THERE WE GO

inb4 unnamed personality-free pretty girl is a plot point and dean’s under the spell

*sigh* i miss the times when the siren-type creatures were dudes around dean

this episode really needs more gay, for real

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07:56

something i’ve noticed

these characters keep getting described by their professions - ie “walking clipboard” for a health inspector, “the local badge” for the sheriff

i know it’s just a quirky script thing but it’s kind of rubbing me the wrong way

aside from darren, the sheriff, and the boss guy, none of these characters have names, speaking roles, or any personality and it’s fucking bizarre ?? now darren is dead, the boss guy and the sheriff are the last two remaining characters

also the fact that the one woman is nameless and exists just as dean’s lust interest is really not sitting right with me

that said, plot-wise it’s still better than a deadly duo episode

but that’s not saying much since it’s a low bar

i dunno, i was expecting more. and presently i am feeling more and more let down. (eh, let’s see how it goes)

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08:02

obviously the sheriff is meant to be the top suspect, and the whole thing is implying black bill is a dude in a costume (made of fur, and this sheriff does taxidermy)

so i’m expecting a plot twist where it’s not him

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08:04

ugh god

i’m trying really hard not to look at this meat

i hope it’s fake meat

but i’m still squirmy

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08:05

shit

1997 was 20 years ago

why is it so hard for my brain to realise it’s been that long

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08:06

well if darren’s waking up now in a fridge

then i’m 100% terrified this is gonna be one of those stories where all the meat they’re processing is human meat

oh god no i hate those

inb4 THE GOAT GOD IS TRYING TO GET REVENGE

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08:07

look i dunno where this is going

but so far this episode is making me feel more and more uncomfortable

(not scared, just unsettled in the bad way)

and i don’t know what to make of it

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08:09

“billhook meats” sign outside the place darren is trapped

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08:10

darren’s cloud breath looks computer animated

i couldn’t describe in what way, but it does

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08:13

usually i love watching dean eat but my face is just pinched with disgust right now

guess i just dislike the idea of meat in general

like yeah let’s kill something and eat it!1!

(i mean, i eat meat, but i am currently malnourished and have been for 23 years so once i’m healthy again i’d happily go vegetarian) (i’m not judging meat-eaters, i just find the concept generally alarming)

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08:14

this reminds me so much of that episode of the x files with the chicken mince

oh lord that one was the scariest episode i do not recommend watching it

one big ol’ nope from me

i feel faint

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08:19

hey it’s the same basement with the same three windows again

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08:24

i feel like there’s a difference between “dark” stories and “scary” stories

this one’s just dark, it’s not scary

still not sure how i feel about it

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08:26

i lowkey think the goat mask is cute

he looks like he needs a hug

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08:29

more busty asian beauties

where’s the dude porn

as much as this writer is Totally Onto It with the old (racist) jokes, i think he maybe missed the dean-is-bi-and-into-cas memo

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08;31

ohhhhhhhhhhhh i think ketch just realised mary is way older (and/or more undead) than she looks

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08:34

“hunting people, killing them. the family business”

dean almost looking into the camera

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while i’m paused, i just wanna say: i am decidedly really uncomfortable with this episode

i think dean randomly going for an unnamed girl for no plot-related reason is what’s throwing me. if she had a name and a personality i’d be fine with it, because hell he’s bisexual and has a significant sex drive, and regardless of his feelings towards cas he’s always liked diner girls. but her lack of person-hood is just degrading, y’know??

this episode’s portrayal of women is “pretty thing to fuck” and i’m not gonna lie that disgusts me more than blood and murder ever could

the fact there are no significant solid dean-is-bisexual things to balance out the heterosexuality is just giving the whole thing a bi-erasure character-development-erasure kind of feeling

i miss cas so. fucking. badly. i want to cry right now

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08;45

hey the colt shot something NOT in slow motion

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08:47

if this show is remembered 100 years from now it’ll be for four things: 1. how bible stories were reinterpreted - followed by fanfiction reinterpreting that, 2. the fact it had 13+ seasons against all calculable odds, 3. a community/fanbase with unprecedented dedication, and 4. the fucking queerbaiting

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08:53

OH NO THEY’RE LEAVING THEIR MARK BECAUSE THIS IS HOME LIKE THE IMPALA IS HOME OH GOSH

quietly thinking about the fic i wrote with TEAM FREE WILL CARVING THEIR INITIALS INTO A TABLE AFTER A DISCUSSION ABOUT EXACTLY THIS

If You Could Go Anywhere (3767 words)

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why do i feel so sad

why did this episode feel so uncomfortable

this show is so unbelievably wrong without cas. i cannot express how badly i miss him. i miss him like i’d miss a family member.

everything was just a little not-quite-right about this

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08:57

CAS HAD BETTER FUCKING ADD HIS FUCKING NAME TO THIS FUCKING TABLE

I REALLY WANT TO CRY RIGHT NOW

THIS IS A NICE MOMENT BUT WHY DOES IT FEEL SO WRONG

I DON’T UNDERSTAND

the tears have arrived in my eyes

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09:01

i dunno

it’s over

i think you guys can extrapolate from what i’ve already said how i feel about this

i know i hated last week’s episode but i gave that a 4/10

yet halfway through this one i was like... this one’s a 2/10

yet that doesn’t seem fair because it wasn’t bAD i just didn’t enjoy it??

...no..scratch that, it was a little bit bad

the nameless girl and unnecessary heterosexuality, the lack of characters of colour, the busty asian beauties

the plot was okay i guess

ehhh

4/10 again, let’s say

I WAS EXPECTING A LOT MORE and i was left disappointed

John Bring’s writing is very Straight White Dude Who Has Not Heard of Intersectional Feminism-esque. i’m not into it with this as a sole example, maybe another episode would be different

best part was dean sulking about cas, and then sam and dean carving the table (the former enhanced by the absence of cas, the latter incident sullied by the absence of cas) (i was expecting dean to mention cas after they finished carving, but he mentioned mick instead)

i’m hoping next week’s episode will be good. idk what happened to this half of the season but i kind of feels like they’re losing their grasp on the things that make this show enjoyable (unpopular opinion?? unsure)

[elizabethrobertajones]

12x15 watching notes

I actually finished watching the episode hours ago but right after I went and literally watched a big chunk of season 8 instead of this episode which is metaphorically a big chunk of season 8 >.>

this "expectations" thing is turning into a bit of a joke because I never know what to expect any more. This was much easier in Carver era :P From the previews it looks like a bit of a "monster of the week" with a hellhound and I sort of feel things are about to go up shit creek for Crowley and he's distracted with the Winchesters which is his life story, but MAY let them find out finally. Gonna make Mary working with the BMoL look like a good decision.

Also may be a way to un-Buckleming Crowley's choice with some better characterisation...

[rare edit to yell at past me oh my god. Also at Davy OH my GOD - note to self stop being so cynical about literally anyone but those guys writing :P]

As far as I can tell from the outside looking in, though Dabb's been working through a really serious important list of loose ends, this is from the odd pile of things that end up on his desk complaining about one of his episodes which is "we need more Winchesters in glasses!!!!" after he gave us a few minutes of it in 8x14, and he shrugged and went, okay, someone find a reason to put them in the glasses again. Why not.

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Oh yeah we're on the monsters' side. Starting again with the cute vampire girl from last episode saying "they're dead. they're all dead" and Mary shown killing a vampire. Before any title cards. Mary's POV is on the other side of it. Telling us the world is changing and then Sam squinting suspiciously at Mick's briefing about exterminating all the vampires. And the "pick a side" thing for Sam - monsters on one side, mom on the other.

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Awwwwww 5x20 Crowley and his hellhound. A simpler time. When they were trying to cram Lucifer back in the cage. Funny reminder now to have moments before Lucifer bound in Crowley's spare room.

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Oooh right there's Kelly and Dagon stuff in this episode. I think Cas too? You know I completely forgot because the previews were avoiding them but I'm pretty sure one of the episode descriptions actually mentioned them... Whoops. I guess this episode is going to be split between all that. At this point I don't really trust the writing not to be ridiculously more complex and layered than I can guess from right here, so I'll just enjoy these cold open people camping and laugh that I wrote a Winchester family camping trip as the code to 12x14

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I can't believe this guy is looking up bear attacks in the woods while they're camping. And she's a vet. Pfft :P How does he even have signal though.

Awww no they're going their separate ways. She seems unconvinced that it's going to work out anyway :<

He needs to stop asking trees to marry him.

Oh no now I'm invested in these people. They do not deserve to be eaten by hellhounds.

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Nooooo

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Oh no that was unintentionally hilarious with the puffy jacket throwing fluff everywhere.

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Pfft some extras from the Walking Dead wander into the Bunker making obvious pop culture references. Do we even analyse that mention of Dad or do we just laugh hysterically and move on?

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Wait so that time when they seemed to have it on set they weren't just fucking around with the baseball bat because they felt like making one but it was actually going to be in an episode oh my god

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I wonder if Mary has been watching The Walking Dead or if she hasn't had time.

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Being distracted by Mittens:

Wait - Sam is clean... is this meta or are we still in the pop culture reference?

mittensmorgul The things on Dean, "ghoul, wraith, siren."

elizabethrobertajones yeah They fought a SIREN WHAT HAPPEN I want to know everything

mittensmorgul I DON'T KNOW?!

elizabethrobertajones I bet if it was "back to back to back" they didn't have time for it to be complicated

mittensmorgul I mean, DEAN fought the siren, Sam is completely clean

elizabethrobertajones WHY IS SAM CLEAN

mittensmorgul And Dean's been wearing his underpants for four days People are screaming OOC

elizabethrobertajones oh god

mittensmorgul I have no idea

elizabethrobertajones Ahahahahah  "Frodo"

mittensmorgul Sort of reminded me of how he looked after he killed the stynes

elizabethrobertajones Is that a thing

mittensmorgul :D

elizabethrobertajones maybe they intentionally USE those code names maybe Mary talked to Sam wait if Mick is telling Sam where to go has he given them "back to back to back"

mittensmorgul yes...

elizabethrobertajones and Dean did all the killing and Sam was clean Okay THERE'S the symbolism I was looking for :P

mittensmorgul do go on... :D

elizabethrobertajones I am literally paused just at "Frodo" and his missing campers message so idk what happens next but yeah :P Dean's being used as the weapon here and Sam's coordinating Aka trying to turn him into Ketch or Mark!Dean Sam doesn't have any blood on his hands for these hunts and they're coming too fast for Dean to process them and work out shades of grey ....

mittensmorgul Yep

elizabethrobertajones which means the Negan thing is probably a reference to how bloody it has all been and not just a joke >.>

mittensmorgul nope

elizabethrobertajones they're trying to turn him back into a bloody single minded hunter like John this is awful I LAUGHED now I feel horrible about it all :P

elizabethrobertajones Also Dean not being a germ freak about it all is probably a bad sign >.>

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elizabethrobertajones Oh no Sam lying epically

mittensmorgul yep

elizabethrobertajones reminds me of 8x01 when he tells Dean how he found Kevin but he actually did that Dean like Purgatory Dean Wait fuck that baseball bat is his purgatory weapon *slides under the table* Go away Negan This is worse than the Eliot Ness thing

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this show is getting too meta for its own good... Is this what happens after 12 years?

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Anyway Sam comes up with something to baffle Dean with his technology know-how implying Dean is too dumb to follow - Sam rattling off computery sounding things and Dean sitting there bloody and unwashed and the John-Negan baseball bat in front of him and Sam like "the computer told me" and Dean being like "lol computers are good at monsters and porn" - he really is in a bad way :< I think one of those things where they balance Sam and Dean out. But Sam is WORKING on Dean as he said he would last episode - he's intentionally wearing him out, letting him channel that need to kill things in a way Ketch couldn't get Dean to indulge in because Sam knows Dean better and where his lines are. Taking him back to back to back to back on hunts stops Dean from having down time and appreciating the finer things in life, so he gets less and less nuanced as Sam works him down >.> Because as last episode showed, Sam aligns with Mick, Dean with Ketch but, like, obviously NOT because they're both competent and kind and multifaceted. But Ketch is the Mark!Dean parallel, and wearing Dean down like this... yeah.

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Honestly though baby wipes are so good they probably COULD get all that gunk off in an emergency

elizabethrobertajones Wait Dean is rejecting the Bunker's shower after flicking siren bits everywhere and being gross this is actually 8x14 inverted

mittensmorgul RIGHT?!

elizabethrobertajones we start with him loving the Bunker and bitching about Sam messing it up and in 8x13 he goes on about the water pressure and now he'd just be happy with baby wipes

mittensmorgul D:

elizabethrobertajones .... and in 8x14 he puts that pic of Mary down and it feels like home :<

mittensmorgul I think they really are doing their best to invert 8.14

elizabethrobertajones 10x22 also used that pic of Mary I hope it's inverted in other ways

mittensmorgul but...

elizabethrobertajones like signing up for crazy ventures to get rid of all demons/monsters

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"You smell like roadkill" ominous.

"I'm using that fancy shampoo you keep hidden" I love that they read a bunch of fan fic before they joined the show

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Okay so Mittens informed me there's mass hysteria about the next moment because of audio nonsense, which means I swapped from fuzzy bad sound to full crystal clear noise cancelling headphones with all the sound settings done properly, and caught Sam saying "love you too" to Mary and Dean like "catch ya later" to Cas. 

[side note: had no idea what she meant because I hadn’t heard a word of it before she told me there was hysteria] 

I'd already squeed just to see them pull up having these conversations because the set up is beautiful: Sam has picked a side and Sam and Dean are now at odds, and THESE are their sides. After last episode we could only hope/guess that it was logical that Dean n Cas might be a bit of a team in opposition to Sam, Mary and the BMoL but obviously that was just guesswork. Knowing Sam already IS a faction with Mary and Dean doesn't know it, Sam starting this with a mention of "mom" as they get out the car and this little, uh... symbolic diorama? unfolds shows very clearly he's communicating with his faction; Dean also on the phone shows that they have a split, that he's in contact with someone who could be HIS faction and even before he said Cas I kinda knew because see above, guessing, and also the fact that he IS in contact with Cas more. So yeah, lines drawn between them. Something about them getting out the car together but not looking at each other, talking to their respective sides is just... really really well done. Also the way they're talking over each other? They're distracted with their own things, and not communicating, not listening in on what the other's up to.

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Of course then they summarise to each other - DOUCHEBUSTERS.

I am offended

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Mostly because it's like "lol Brits"

I feel bad there are hunters they hate more than the Ghostfacers, honestly.

Dean has better news - something's killing angels in IDAHO. Specifically, the town that 7x15 took place in. So that's 9x06 and 7x15 all at once. Wheee.

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"Diner waitress Sara Deshenski has met an untimely and violent demise at the hands of an irate alien, so says her diner manager, Herb Nelson"

Bloody hell another dollar in the space jar

they really are going for it this season

they're finally sending Dean to space :')

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The picture of burned angel wings in a trashy newspaper is so sad though... Look at Cas being sad.

Look at him still not knowing how to do the badge thing. I cry. My heart is overflowing with love for Cas. He needs Dean beside him to turn his badge around and laugh gently at his mistakes.

It does suggest he's kind of stagnated as a hunter, because he hasn't managed to figure this out yet >.>

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He's trying though - he's Solange now! He knows you rotate out the identity from time to time.

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Oh dear, Cas dealing with a real conspiracy nut. In 6x21 we were ROBBED of Cas's side of the investigation into HP Lovecraft, probably because lovable comic beats were not how to make us think Cas was the bad guy but they’d be nothing else but, because that’s who Cas is, ALWAYS. Now, though, he's got to do all the social stuff on someone who's basically Ronald Resnik'ing this. I hope he has better luck not dying >.>

He has a pic of the Queen's head taped to an alien which just makes me wonder if this is a thing to do with the BMoL and their terrible terrible bad wrong intel... Sometimes they know a thing, mostly they don't... But they managed to scrape up a few grains of truth here and there. Obviously she's not an alien or lizard person but who knows what else she might be >.> I like the whole Torchwood thing where the Queen was a werewolf and that was a royal family thing :P

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Cas hanging his head in despair that he's actually considering waiting to see what this guy's evidence is.

Poor Cas

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*Cas attempts to smile*

-

this description of the alley fight is hilarious

Kelly as the brood queen - remember the season 10-11 hiatus stuff about Bugs as the mytharc after we spotted the little VFX insect escaping Amara's cloud?

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Aw no the way he describes angel blades as "star metal" it feels weirdly poignant... Angels are cosmic - who knows what those blades are made of

(Zerbe knows, but aside from Zerbe)

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"man in black - well, beige!" if this isn't foreshadowing Cas getting a better coat.

I love how yellow eyes is still like, actually really deep and weighty and dramatic and scary still. Most things on this show have been completely run down INCLUDING Lucifer into being over-done. Such a good pick for this season.

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Obligatory bear or cougar reference. I know it's not hellhounds but 8x16 has Prometheus actually killed by a bear off screen and I find that hilarious and I'm thinking mid season 8 now. I think it was also initially reported in one of the cracky publications like the one Cas got ahold of (knowing he has to read that sort of nonsense to get a lead also is a sign of him developing as a hunter).

-

Oh gosh the perfect blurring of Baby's engine over hellhound growling. Listen to her, she's such a sexy beast :D

[edit at past!me: Okay I’m useless at predicting stuff but I wasn’t to know Dean x Baby would be a thing this episode so I’m proud of this at least... can you even objectify a car? She’s already an object]

-

Now we know that Gwen knows for sure about big invisible wolves coming after her, the promo scene where Dean jokes about what truth they could tell her and Sam describes how they lie (a lot) to her is even worse, because of course Sam and lying is clearly a huge thing this episode and he describes how the lie will "give her peace" and help her sleep at night. Dean's being manipulated by Sam (PS I did not sign up for this) is probably very similar - Sam thinks Dean will sleep better at night if he doesn't understand all the details of these jobs they're doing and he's keeping Dean in happy dumbed down hunter mode.

Playing INTO the top layer of Performing Dean, really.

-

Dean's only joking about the ridiculous truth because he doesn't know how important it is to HAVE the truth yet, and he's empathising with Gwen's position of being told the truth and finding it completely unbelievable because he's also at the point where he can't concieve of the truth.

-

Guys there is a hellhound sniffing your BUTTS

-

Sam n Dean are wearing black coats and hold their badges the right way up

-

Omg it followed them in.

AAAAH that's intense okay that's good writing. Thanks Perez. You are so good at tension. They all sit down and chill.

-

this completely changes "elephant in the room" to "hellhound in the room"

-

Anyway Sam does the Ronald Resnik thing with Gwen telling her with authority as the FBI that there was nothing supernatural about it

"You're no longer in any kind of danger okay?"

-

Also they really don't have the right approach because telling her there's no danger??? WRONG. They need to at LEAST follow the lead on her BF's deal to tidy up loose ends, such as the fact that demons often catch a dozen people at a time when they're doing the crossroads thing... They'd need to AT LEAST go back to where the deal was made and check nothing else happened?? Where is your instinct???????

Too busy lying to her

-

It's so horrible that their visit allowed the thing in and now it's in there with her

I AM SO WORRIED ABOUT GWEN HOLY CRAP

-

"Oh yeah she's gonna sleep like a baby" *cut to Gwen being stalked*

-

Oh no now she heard it

GWEN

-

Omg she's okay

-

*heart slows down*

-

Some nice relaxing Crowley and Lucifer nonsense to chill with

-

Crowley is really enjoying having a proper nemesis since the Winchesters are more like friends now so it's not as fun to catch them and chain them up and taunt them.

Crowley says he's ten steps ahead of whatever Lucifer thinks he's doing. HM. Well he sure wasn't LAST episode.

-

Well he's behind on his paperwork anyway. The ridiculous windows also suggest peeking in on it - the sense the secret will come out.

This is such a great writing/directing combo

-

Cut to Sam and Dean actually telling the truth

-

Sam leaves out the detail about Dean being the cuter brother

-

Pfft

-

Okay I nearly spat tea at Dean being like "make you feel better. It was his idea"

This whole lying thing really isn't working out for Sam. And Dean's reaction to it is killing me.

-

"Did you really want something like, a hello kitty backpack. or the death of an enemy"

-

Dean and kids... he gets them

- mittensmorgul tort reform

elizabethrobertajones what like the cake

mittensmorgul basically to eliminate the sort of "law suits" like that ridiculous baby nonsense torts are civil legal cases

elizabethrobertajones Aah so if he'd actually listened he could have got rid of all the silly petitions :P

mittensmorgul like suing people over EVERYTHING. Usually considered frivilous, petty, or vindictive nonsense yeah :P and it was item #42 on his list (which also made me think of Door #42 in Heaven, aka the "escape hatch"

elizabethrobertajones that seems like a fairly apt summary of the problems :P if they just listened and paid attention they would eliminate so many stupid problems by actually dealing with things like the bigger picture things like reforming the way things work

[here follows about 10 minutes of sending pictures of cake back and forth while we debate what a torte is in our respective countries]

-

Why is Crowley still clutching the key for Lucifer's Facilities room?

-

NOT MOOSE

PEACHES

-

God dammit has Berens been chatting to Perez about Drowley

-

GWEN. She's like the ultimate outside eyes on their life, suddenly getting the whole truth when Crowley bitches them out for the Gavin thing on speaker phone

It's brilliant

how has this NEVER happened before

12 seasons and there's still new nonsense to explore

-

"have the kennel guards killed" YoU'RE STILL ON SPEAKER PHONE GWEN CAN HEAR THIS

Dean doing the "blah blah" gesture while they're all listening in on this NONSENSE like it's no big deal, overhearing a meeting between the King of Hell and his advisers

(Also this is a great way to tie the seemingly unconnected minions to the main story aside from having them deliver news since they didn't come specifically to tell Crowley about what's up with the MotW it's all completely incidental and if Sam and Dean hadn't already been on the case, well...)

(ALSO I love how in one episode the whole dynamic of Crowley and Hell somehow feels so much more like a proper court? And he's got proper assets and people and... I don't know, I love this depiction of his life)

-

Crowley dropping in on the random MotW conversation

Aaah it's all shaken up

-

eeep clear shot of the moose skull in Cas's truck. DO NOT WANT

-

Aw Cas has a friend. Kelvin! Do things EVER go well when he and random angels work together? NO. But I like Kelvin because he seems to like Cas for now, and they're working on the same thing... HOW CAN THIS GO WRONG?

Aside from the fact he mostly appears to be here to be a redshirt for Cas unless he has Vital Info or something because Heaven has much better resources to track her than Cas who is doing it the hunter way.

-

Mom Hellhound... What a shocking twist :P I mean, I wasn't expecting this backstory because I didn't think there'd be one, but the fact this is the Mother of All Hellhounds and she was preggers when she escaped and Lucifer took her in like... wooow.

-

*snorts at how cool Gwen is at Lucifer being locked up* Like, cool, well, at least he's not our problem. I mean I have the king of hell in my living room but he seems reasonable, and they're all reassuring me that Lucifer is safely locked up so I'll just... Yeah. Good.

Also Dean again repeating the lie that's been told to him and backing up the story etc, happily going along with the truth as he knows it while we - and someone in the room - knows it's a lie

-

God really sucks at making things though. Like, he put so much violence into the world? Eve and Leviathans were his creations too and they were... not exactly perfect. Pfft.

-

Crowley is excited to work the case... Oh dear, now he's learning to be a hunter

-

"Just when I thought this gig couldn't get any weirder" "Oh it can always get weirder"

Thanks Dabb

-

Aww the demon minions are so competent at being sneaky good for them. I have no idea who I root for here. I don't LIKE Lucier or want him free, but Crowley's minions being hilarious is like... my favourite thing. Whatever they're doing. I just love it. So... little bit conflicted about what I want here

-

Although making demands of Lucifer is a bad idea.

-

When Dean says sticking with Sam to keep her safe, he MEANS it I mean Sam once fucking GUTTED a hellhound SINGLE HANDED like dang he's the best bodyguard you could ask for right now

"Take care of her" "of course" or does he trust-

wait

no he's just being precious about the car. A beautiful, beautiful woman.

I guess we know why Sam doesn't get to drive so often; Dean just is THAT precious about her

-

Sam is not here for Dean fantasising about the car

-

Crowley like "you."

"... why of everyone ever did I have to fall in love with YOU" probably

-

Uhoh Cas and an El Sol sign... He and Kelvin seem to be drinking water. The director appears to be like "how many angles of Misha's face are necessary? Better try one more just in case" *rotates camera to bask in him some more*

Heaven is stable in a way where there's nothing drastic to report. All the huge dramas since it was last a big plot thing itself have meant the angels have been trying to deal with everything and so busy headless chickening about all that they haven't really been in-fighting. The death of all the alpha personalities helps too I guess.

-

"This is an all hands on deck situation Castiel. Including yours" "Okay so you're here for my hands" Yeah that was snark. A grade snark. In a Cas way.

"you got more field experience than the next thousand angels combined" I don't know if I should be more sad for Cas or Heaven

-

El Sol over Cas as Kelvin asks him if he would go back to Heaven - all his sins wiped clean... And challenging him over what he feels is home. Earth is quirky and smells like hay (pfft Cas's truck) but does it FEEL like home to Cas? he already FINALLY feels welcome in his family with the Winchesters and has expressed openly that he loves them and they proved that he was family to them, so emotionally he's really tied down already. But what feels like HOME to Cas?

-

And yeah this is happening in Idaho. 9x06. The FIRST time Cas gets asks what he is, what he wants to be... Oh gosh. Finally. FINALLY. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH

-

*quietly takes off my Dean!girl hat and puts on the Cas!girl one*

-

Now this mission has a different hook for him. The angels know he's already working it but Kelvin offers him a different sales pitch because they know that Dagon is going around killing angels just as Cas does, or at least SOMETHING massively more powerful than the average angel is - his help is suddenly very necessary because they are SCARED and Cas is COMPETENT. So they can give him the resources he needs - much like the BMoL are offering to Sam and Dean. Do the dirty work for them and be rewarded with a platinum membership card

-

Holy fuck Joshua

-

Dabb...

...

...

I don't have the brainpower to hold together the threads of the show directly connected to Dabb

-

elizabethrobertajones "The Gardener's got a plan" this does make me think of Metatron though I like Joshua but... it's sort of ominous these small time angels with a big time connection to God and God is not so great himself

mittensmorgul yep

elizabethrobertajones in the 9x23 thing [rewatch; not currently posted because this is literally how far I am] I got distracted writing about Metatron answering to "God" because he's modelling himself AFTER god and later talks about how God was not such a great Creator and how Metatron saw behind the curtains like.. Metatron's plan is sneaky and awful and cruel but he was behaving like God??

mittensmorgul yeah, but Joshua was the gardner God talked to. Joshua just listened, and tended the garden Chuck thinks of as his "greatest creation

elizabethrobertajones who has some sort of cruelty in his own creation making hellhounds and leviathan

mittensmorgul yep

elizabethrobertajones Joshua seems nice and all but God related to him as a gardener just as he related to Metatron as a writer

mittensmorgul after he locked up the darkness, he was trying to create that balance on his own, but he really lacked the finesse to do it properly

elizabethrobertajones which is ominous :P

mittensmorgul yeah

elizabethrobertajones Hm and the writing is controlling the narrative on a BIG scale

mittensmorgul yep

elizabethrobertajones gardening, if you were controlling the world, would be clipping it into shape like just tidying it up taking out some weeds like say eliminating all monsters

mittensmorgul but if we're about balance and finding better ways, and Chuck's still talking to Joshua... now that he's reunited with Amara maybe things CAN be better now?

elizabethrobertajones maybe?

mittensmorgul hopefully?

elizabethrobertajones I haven't watched to the end of this scene don't know if Joshua is still talking to God :P

mittensmorgul BUT CHUCK SAID THAT DEAN WAS THE ONE CARRYING THE STORY NOW

elizabethrobertajones yeah

mittensmorgul he put the earth in DEAN'S hands

elizabethrobertajones Dean gets to decide what happens and he doesn't approve >.>

mittensmorgul Dean's the gardener now

elizabethrobertajones :D And he tends to the garden in the traditional ways which WORK and keep a good sort of peace

mittensmorgul I think he likes the weeds

elizabethrobertajones eyah he relates to the weeds knows some dandelions can be pretty

mittensmorgul he thinks he's one of the weeds

elizabethrobertajones no need to rip them ALL up yeah >.> poor Dean

mittensmorgul heck, most of the "weeds" are food for the bees balance

elizabethrobertajones CAS SAW IT ALL back in 7x21 the whole plan it was perfect

-

Anyway Cas has some shit to think about while Dean gets his act together to just ask him to marry him and put an end to all this uncertainty

-

Awww this guy wants to be the king of the crossroads I'm rooting for him

-

ew the other demon wants to make hell great again. Kill the white guy. Leave the new king of the crossroads alive

-

Nooooo

-

I am disappointed.

-

Also annoyed Lucifer is free again

-

But blah I liked that guy :< This show sucks. Stop killing the great one off PoC

-

Thinking of which, I hope Gwen survives because she's brilliant and also incidentally hispanic which shouldn't be a thing at all except now I'm terrified she's going to be added to the show's stats because I just don't TRUST them

-

Dean in glasses! Crowley flirting with him... Dean being flattered (smiling to himself ew) but telling Crowley to shut up for appearances sake

-

Crowley saving Cas being the thing that finally makes Dean say thank you and feel like Crowley has gone a bit soft. (Also stop being genre savvy about saving the girl of the week, Dean :P)

-

Glasses give him +5 nerd points

-

"Maybe I've rubbed off all over you" *Dean comically shudders*

They're getting along. It's horrifying.

Berens definitely pulled Perez aside and gave him a talking to with diagrams and flowcharts about how this all happened

-

This is such a good scene I watched it like 3 times but the third time I went back too far and saw Lucifer kill the poor demon guy I liked again so my mood is yo-yoing around

-

I seriously appreciate the subtext for the whole bi!Dean project and the fact that they're exes who've now moved to this weird comfortable happy place where this all happens? The way Dean reacts? God, why did it have to be Crowley but now we're here, I am so appreciative for the sake of the bizarre way this show is running on and on and on past several points it could have ended and made Drowley less of a strange point of CONSISTENT data. But here we are. Dean is cheerfully wandering around with Crowley, deflecting flirting, smiling to himself, being nice about the whole saving Cas thing because of course this is a bizarre point in the love triangle too - I mean... So weird. God, this never should have got this far. So Crowley can make a joke about rubbing off all over Dean, and Dean just playfully shudders about it, and and... what the heck is this even any more? The show has been playing along with it for so long... I don't even know if they're DOING anything with it, except for their vague horror that they have to preserve this dynamic and are being faithful to the characters to move them through all this as realistically as they can.

-

Anyway in more current developments thoughts, Dean again being honest and emotionally genuine and friendly. Crowley might be lying about Lucifer but Dean, who is caught in the middle of everything but in a really good place of his own, responds really well to everything. Him being happy and sweet and OPEN is all the more crushing because you know terrible stuff may be about to happen with reveals of more deceit or manipulation, but Dean's being put in this "can do no wrong" place while he's unaware of everything, so reaching back out to Mary, not falling for Ketch's shit last week, thanking Crowley this week... Always being caught in the place of dramatic irony with lies Crowley and Sam are telling... yeah.

-

Sam in glaaaasses

can he even legally drive with the distortion of wearing glasses that aren't his prescription?

-

Gwen, don't puke in the car

-

Dean is so distractingly attractive

-

yeah that's it that's the entire scene

-

Gwen manages not to puke in the car, because Sam pulled over in time. I SWEAR it is the same place Dean pulled over to puke in in 11x10

-

She takes on all the guilt and responsibility for her boyfriend's death just for having invited him out to the woods, as their goodbye thing, when she never loved him as much as he loved her; she was going through the motions before breaking up with him and moving away.

"Why couldn't I just tell him the truth"

Liiiies

"I lied to make things easier!"

-

Ooh Mittens pointed out Gwen is a vet too - Sam and vets is a thing because AMELIA. (And a dog just hit them lol)

-

Poor Baby. And Dean was just worried Sam would fuck up her brakes! Dean's concerns again being based on small scale what he knows and not the big horrible truth, which is that Ramsey is gonna jump all over his car

Although not strictly Sam’s fault here

-

The car is almost sort of Hellhound proof? She's not breaking through the windows?

-

"We should leave!"

Can you drive faster than a hellhound? I'd LOVE to watch Sam try. But he decides to fight instead of driving off to try and prioritise getting Gwen away from danger

-

I love that the view through Sam's glasses showing us Ramsey is all fucked up and distorted because they're the wrong prescription glasses... BUT it gives us a similar "eye" back to her like the distorted view when the camera pretends to be her.... She and Sam staring each other down :D

-

Oh fuck if Sam kills her could he start doing the trials again? Like, working with the BMoL, casually bring it up at staff meeting and suggest that he's ready to go for round two?

-

Bad idea Sammy

-

COOLER TO THE HEAD. ILY GWEN 

Yeah I was getting Baby (the episode) vibes from Dean's love of the car and the fact that was the last time she got smashed up but now the green cooler is back in play I'm yelling :P She protects her boys and everyone who rides in her.

-

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH LOOK AT THIS *gestures the entire scene wildly*

-

Aw crap no the blood splattered Sammy in the right place and everything

Sam no

Don't even THINK about it

-

*Sam huffs his shoulders*

He did also get the blood all over him unlike how Dean was the one splattered at the beginning of the episode, so I guess all that stuff that wigged me out has a flipside - that Sam still is a great hunter who will get his hands dirty and take the burden onto himself. It was unsettling, yeah, but Sam's still Sam? Maybe? I'm not sure what this is saying tbh because it was SO clear in the opening but I don't know enough has changed right now, and ALSO in the next scene Sam is clean again like he washed off and changed before he even reconnected with Dean which just makes me think he felt guilty standing around splattered in hellhound blood because they remember what THAT led to last time... Sparing Dean's feelings or hiding what he's up to?

-

"And this is why you don't drive!"

-

AHAAHAHAHHA someone hugged Crowley

-

Best moment.

-

He's been thanked by everyone now, and got to see the gratitude of the random girl of the week... If Lucifer weren't waiting for him back home he'd almost have had a good day, if he could nurture something like that in his twisted black heart :P

-

"He seems nice"

"Yeah" *Sam and Dean pull faces*

-

Crowley like "welp that happened" when he walks in to see Lucifer gone

-

Lucifer wings!

-

Oh :P Crowley's got him on a leash or something. Nice. Lucifer underestimates how many steps ahead Crowley is even after he TOLD him it was 10, he remembered 2...

-

Wow he's powerful over Lucifer

-

Now the part where Lucifer doesn't have any chains but he's still trapped

Hah okay that was masterful

-

Perez owns Buckleming. He's 10 steps ahead when they think they're 2 :'D

How do you EXPLOIT their bad writing like that for your own diabolical ends? That's just

wow

that exposition and set up for Lucifer and Crowley in 12x13 was some of the shittiest writing the show has ever produced about a major plot event and that's saying something. I felt my soul leave my body. And I was so upset Perez had that big spooky reveal at the end of 12x12 and Buckleming got handed the "here's how to explain it" brief and I don't care if they knew what was coming later, they wrote 12x13 as the shittiest episode ever, with no effort on their part. I was like, wow, this is stupid, and it FIT their style. It was part of their THING to make Crowley look like an idiot and make us question wtf he was doing and they presented it all so terribly, so boringly, so... unimaginatively...

we actually bought that was what had happened

so the actual reveal that Crowley is 100% in charge and always has been

actually

came

as

a

fucking

plot twist

-

I'm sending Davy a fruit basket

-

Yay Dean talking to Cas on speakerphone

Oh no is Cas at the playground?

-

Oh dear, he's actually going back to Heaven... That can't end well

-

Dean: "Does he sound weird to you" YEAH OKAY it definitely IS dodgy. We listen when Dean doesn't think Cas sounds all right, because DEAN KNOWS. HE ALWAYS KNOWS. DEAN IS THE MOST ACCURATE COMPASS FOR TELLING HOW CAS IS AND HE ALWAYS KNOWWWS

How can Davy ruin me with Destiel in an episode where they talk twice briefly on the phone and there is barely anything about them in the structure?

Pfft

Dean also has a better instinct for Cas working with Heaven the BMoL parallel/they a parallel for Heaven, than he does for Sam doing it apparently.

ANYWAY ET GOES HOME. We powered through season 8 just there I guess :P But it's not the end of season drama it's happening in episode 15.

The whole thing that this is the Question for Cas. The BIG question. The ENDGAME question... Of course we have to make him jump through a ton of loops and explore what he really wants, but if this is powering him towards an actual DECISION?

-

But he was doing well as hunter!Cas without their resources and he loves his human family and they love him, and unlike 8x23, since everything is being inverted, he is more emotionally aware now not to run off and leave in the same way he was planning to in 8x23

-

Anyway this did not go how I was expecting! I was expecting Sam to not tell Dean right away but instead we end another episode with Dean getting the SAME news in the same spot (hi table) and... taking it in about the same way over 1 conversation he did in 2 episodes. He already had to deal with Mary, and at this point it just seems like his family are going after the BMoL like lemmings.

Boy is he betrayed though.

Sam's compartmentalising things again. Because of HIM the alpha is dead. They were as helpless as the "girl of the week" if Sam hadn't been there. Sam saved all their butts from the alpha vamp while making it sound like THEY did it.

-

I suppose Mick made him the bullet

to his recipe

that he then magnificently got from Mick

and you know

actually shot the alpha vamp with

-

Also ARGH "How much you hate them" "No, WE hate them, us, together" - just, Sam. Sweetie. They tortured you. Even YOU felt upset to hear Mary was working with them and needed 3 days to box it all up enough to talk to her. 

Sam seems to be acting like Dean's just being over-protective now to hate them irrationally because they hurt Sam, while Dean can't even believe he has to make this into an issue which should be one of those unbreakable brother things they they do as a team. He's not even the literally injured party here, not in the same way.

-

Dean looks gorgeous while he's thinking it over. Flippin' heck. Stop.

-

Anyway he gives Sam the same basic talk he gave Mary, essentially, about not liking it. Admits Sam is right about working with people they don't like, and that clearly he's wrong. He TRUSTS Sam and wants to trust Mary. And she has given Ketch the burn it all down speech, where Dean now says they get out as soon as it stinks.

-

I don't like that Dean thinks working with Crowley is comparable. Crowley is someone Dean has learned to trust in his own very specific way after being burned MANY times by him but also having a sort of attachment they've grown through all the years of being nemeses. They're used to each other and can generally rely on each other for exactly the things they rely on. Saying, well we just worked with Crowley, let's give these guys a shot because we don't like either of them, does not BEGIN to cover the range of issues with the BMoL... Even the ones they KNOW about

-

"The second something seems off, we bail" Okay I haven't seen a promo for 12x16 but I know the synopsis so I don't think it'll last long :P

-

Dean's FACE in that last moment though

Ow.

[boleynns]

LOOSE ENDS, ASSHOLES.

I wrote this 3 days ago, because I just KNEW they were going to fuck it all up.

^PHOTO OF A LIAR, for reference. LONG list of pissed off thoughts below.

ON YOUR WATCH.

That Molly scene in TFP was so horrendous. I don’t even ship them at all, but really. How much of an asshole do you have to be???

How did John and Sherlock survive a bomb by jumping through glass windows and landing 2 stories down on the concrete with no injuries?

How did they get on that boat?

WHY were they on that boat?

WTF was that imaginary plane bullshit???

NO ONE CARES THAT THE DOG ISNT REAL, ARE YOU KIDDING ME

Why did Mary think John would pull away from Sherlock if she died, if she didn’t know she was going to die saving Sherlock? If she’d died ANY other way, John would have no reason to pull away.

Why did Mary give Sherlock the 10000% worst advice in the world (seriously, who tf tells their “friend”, who is a DRUG ADDICT, “GO FUCK YOURSELF on drugs, and GO DIE on purpose” on the random ass off chance that John would find this out in time???)?

Why did Mary have a slip of paper to knock Sherlock out prepared ahead of time?

Why did Mary tell Sherlock and John that “A.G.R.A.” was her initials, when if they had just looked at the fucking drive they would see her real name?

Why was she SOOOOO worried that Sherlock and John would look at the drive, if all that was on there were A.G.R.A.’s identities???

Why did Mary shoot Sherlock directly in the chest point blank, which did kill him enough that the doctors GAVE UP, if she wasn’t trying to fucking kill him dead forever?

Why would Mary not recognize Vivian (or at least, her voice) if A.G.R.A. worked with her?

If Mycroft dealt with freelancers, why did he not know Mary wasn’t fucking MARY???

Why would Mary name her daughter after an alias that could get said daughter KILLED??? AND WE FUCKING KNOW THAT NAME WAS DANGEROUS, BECAUSE MARY LEFT IT BEHIND TO BECOME “MARY MORSTAN” YOU IDIOTS

What did John’s letter to Sherlock say? If is wasn’t going to be addressed, why the fuck would you put it in the episode??

Why did Molly deliver such a hard “John would rather have anyone but you. Anyone” message if it had NO POINT.

Where did the baby go when everyone the baby knew was at John’s “Therapist’s” office at the beginning of TLD? And don’t give me that “it was with friendS” crap, literally only Sherlock, Molly, and Mrs. Hudson went to that kid’s babyshower for fuck sake, John has no other friends.

If you can’t handle the placement of a baby for ONE EPISODE, don’t write one into your show FOR LITERALLY NO REASON.

What was Sherlock’s reoccurring dream that he was telling Ella? Why put that in if it wasn’t important?

If Mary isn’t bad, and therefore wasn’t working with “Faith” and Culverton to set Sherlock up to die (which would have been a perfect and interesting conspiracy), HOW did “Faith” and Culverton know Sherlock would be drugged up enough to fall into their trap??

WTF was the POINT of Eurus texting with John IF SHE WASNT WORKING WITH MARY to mess with Him and Sherlock? Literally ZERO point to the “plot”.

Also, we see that John and Eurus see eachother for a 2nd time at the bus stop. I thought it was important, even though y’all acted like all they did was text, BUT NOPE just another loose end.

TD-12 was absolutely useless, and you spent SO MUCH time on it. 

why did mary keep repeating villain lines (“Miss me?” multiple times, “Anyone!” multiple times in her video, literally fuck off)

If mary had time to jump 5 feet to take a bullet after its already been shot than sherlock had time to jump out of the way you idiots

also the irony of your holier-than-thou deduction sequence when Sherlock got shot, about how big spurts of dramatic blood only happens in movies? You literally fucked yourself.

zero point to Sherlock and John’s extended “ROMANTIC LOVE WILL COMPLETE YOUUUUU” scene on every level, went no where

speaking of that scene, how did Sherlock hear “Mary” say that he should wear the hat???? HUH>?

Mrs. Hudson WATCHED Mary’’s DVD with sherlock, why was she all “OH, wonder what this is, what could it be, WOW LOOK JOHN its your wife???” later with John and Mycroft WHEN SHE KNEW SHERLOCK WAS PROBABLY DYING

Also why would she just let John watch that cold, knowing Mary’s face would show up??

Why did you make Irene a lesbian if you were going to keep making her ride Sherlock’s dick via text message AGAIN.

I’m sure she would want to tell you this if she was here, so I’ll relay the message: LITERALLY GO FUCK YOURSELVES, YOU “SHERLOCK CAN TURN A LESBIAN WOMAN STRAIGHT, HES JUST THAT AMAZING, NO HOMO!!!” ASSHOLES

why was John still crying about his no homo bro being dead after two years, no offense to my best friend but I will think of you really fondly but probably not be going to therapy forever and being all “I literally am so heartbroken that i cant even say the things that i wanted to say to him when he was alive”

speaking of that thing that he couldn’t say out loud to Ella the Therapist: i guess he just really wanted to tell sherlock “No homo tho”, just to make sure he knew that before he died

speaking of things unsaid - I guess the serious thing that sherlock was going to say to john on the tarmac, that he chose not to say for absolutely no decernable reason, was “Bro, I’m gonna miss you, bro! We had some good bro times bro, NO HOMO!!1!” and then they do that back-slap hug that guys do so things don't get too homo

no offense to the prop department, but that light-up skull, that would be either lit or not lit or COMPLETELY BLACK, was bullshit

speaking of bullshit: kindly shove all of those elephants up your ass

including that Take-Out menu on Mycroft’s fridge. I hope you get a paper-cut that never heals.

i might as well have not even bothered taking notes on these episodes, when I could have literally never watched the show before, not cared at all, and been totally fulfilled by everything by not giving a shit about details and character arcs and, you know, literally all of ACD’s original works.

OMG SHERLOCK HAS A SISTER, I don’t fucking care.

AW POOR MARY, John and her were clearly soooo in love!! - says a person who thinks couples that don’t want to be together even a little are super romantic

literally he was trying to leave his marriage like a month after it started, literally go fuck yourself

Your show made less sense, in terms of emotion and character arcs, than Guy Ritchie’s cash grab movies. Yeah. I said it.

“Look at us both”. YEAH, LOOK AT YOURSELVES IN THE MIRROR.

oh wait i forgot, you don’t know what a mirror is. what is literature? what are emotions? idk, lets make mary gasp for breathe and say “you were my whole world!!!” to john even though that makes zero fucking sense for her character or their relationship at all and does huge disservice to them both LOL

Mary could have been the most Awesome Badass Mastermind EVER but you fucked her

An Emotional Arc: Its this thing where characters (who, like people) have emotions (CRAZZY i know), and they start in one place emotionally, and end somewhere new through the story! Lets see:

Sherlock: Starts as a suave, kinda swashbuckling guy who tries to tidy up his apartment for John, asks him to dinner, and basically blushes at John’s attention. In the middle: a bit of an asshole, but one who literally tries to die for John over and over, and literally COMES BACK TO LIFE from a FATAL gunshot bc his subconsious doesn’t want to leave John with Mary. End? “Sometimes I text Irene, just like you text your side-chick! No Homo For Life, RIGHT??? Don’t think about how every action I take is to keep you safe or happy, lol”

John: Starts as an emotionally repressed, suicidal, PTSD stricken loner who is immediately enamored with Sherlock’s brain, and literally kills a man like 1 day after they meet. Middle: A bit of an asshole who is horrible at understanding that Sherlock is NOT a robot without feelings - but an asshole who is willing to die for him, and with him, but who has major trust issues. End? “I wish I had REALLY cheated on Mary with Bus Girl, I can’t believe I missed my chance! Also, even though I’m reacting extremely jealously to you texting Irene, I think you should hit that! Now hold me while I cry, and then lets get cake while my baby cries on the floor like a Sim somewhere NO HOMEO”

I will never let you forget this.

Congrats actually, you HAVE made history! You’ve made a Historically Huge Fuck Up.

Your show’s depth is thinner than Donald Trump’s skin.

200+ adaptations of Sherlock Holmes, no courage present - oh, except for that one parody “Oklahomo” one (thanks for including Sherlock tweeting an “Oklahoma!” reference also! if I had balls, that would’ve been a kick to them!).

LOL Sherlock and John - literally so hilarious!! All those people whining “They’re Not GAY that gross, Doyle would be rolling in his grave if he found out people thought that!” and “NO! SHERLOCK IS AN EMOTIONLESS ROBOT except he can fuck irene I'm okay with that for some reason”? They were all right! What a fucking joke.

I guess “Could he daily feel a stab of hunger for you, and find nourishment at the very sight of you? Yes [he’s in love with you]. But do you ache for him?” meant nothing—OH WAIT that’s from a show that actually textually acknowledged the feelings of love between it’s two main characters. And they didn’t even say “No homo!” afterwards?? I can’t believe it.

don’t ever ask your audience to pay attention on a subtextual level again. clearly, you can’t handle it.

also: I honestly couldn’t give a shit about your endless and constant derision and annoyance with people asking about the relationship between the MAIN CHARACtTERS OF YOUR FUCKING SHOW get over yourselves, and i really hope somehow ACD comes back as a ghost to haunt you one christmas, just to tell you straightt to your stupid faces that you fucked up, and how sad he is that it will always be 1895 - because nothing ever changes, and they will be stuck there forever, out of time.

how dare you bring Oscar Wilde and Freddie Mercury into this mess.

Your intentions don’t matter - what matters is that I would have been better off not paying attention to literally ANY details, not caring one ounce about the characters, and just tuning in as a completely casual viewer. 

The real lesson was “Caring is not an advantage.”, and that is sad.

And the real Final Problem? “It’s not about the characters, its about some stupid ass dog and a stupid ass ‘Saw’ house, and who gives a shit about the rest.

Congratulations - I no longer care!

[glasscomets]

4 months later i still seethe when thinking about the got final season

bruh every character got assassinated

sansa: d&d seem to think to be a Strong Woman (TM) you must become a stone cold bitch with no emotions. sansa was very one dimensional in that respect. a few of her worst moments this season:

- her saying to the hound that she’d still be a little bird if she wasn’t abused and raped by sansa and joffrey. lolll, yeah, because it takes abuse to grow as a person. lets all thank ramsay and joffrey for their kindness in that regard :)

- her openly defying dany. sansa’s whole arc is her learning from the best political players and outmaneuvering them all. she stayed alive in king’s landing while feigning devotion to joffrey. what good does it do to openly defy dany? if jon didn’t murder dany, sansa would be dany’s first target bc of how openly sansa opposed her. it’s like her lessons went out the window.

- sansa doing nothing to reassure her people in the crypts and instead using that time to bitch about daenerys. during the battle at blackwater she was in this position and learned to rally those not on the battlefield to keep them calm. she used none of that knowledge here, did not even address her people. she looked like a horrible ruler here

arya: another victim of stone cold bitch syndrome. closest thing there is to a mary sue in the whole show. apparently she’s so good an army of white walkers can’t hear her move...even tho she was only training as a faceless man for 1-2 yrs at most?

- arya had nothing to do with the long night plot, she should not have been the lone savior. i think she should have been a part of the victory along with dany, bran, and jon, whose storylines were much more involved with the white walkers; particularly the latter 2. 

- her decision to fuck off at the end of the series goes against everything she stands for. for years she tried to reunite with her family, she stresses that the starks have to stay together, then she goes lol jk never coming back. i can buy her saying good bye to sansa (the sibling she always clashed with the most) and bran (an emotionless vessel), but not jon!!!! that doesn’t make any sense to me. that’s her most important person and she’s saying bye forever just like that

dany: where to even begin. haven’t been a dany fan for some time but jfc.

- her descent into madness occurred over the course of 2 episodes in an 8 season long series. what the absolute fuck. they did not build up to this at all. there have been hints she is unstable: burning the tarlys, crucifying the masters, feeding a possibly innocent master to her dragons. but the leap from that to genocide is....rather large. dany has been shown to have a good heart - characters we trust have repeatedly told us that, the show itself has shown us that (fighting against slavery, putting an end to khalasars’ rape, locking up her dragons when one of them burned a single child, etc). INSTEAD of burning civillians in KL, it would have been much more believable if her losses drove her to burning the red keep & cersei out of rage for those she lost. 

- they did her SO dirty after her death. nobody really mourns her, aside from greyworm’s illogical search for justice + an offhand comment from yara (and like, where were you bitch?). jon is obviously broken but doesn’t even really get to talk about the fact that he murdered his own blood/lover lol. going from the heartwrenching dany/drogon scene to the worst scene in the whole fucking show, which might as well have a laugh track behind it--WHO HAS A BETTER STORY THAN BRAN THE BROKEN?--is a huge slap in the face.

bran:  they turned him into an emotionless robot. what else is there to say. guy is fucking useless. had one purpose: defeat the night king, still did jack shit in that episode. who has a better story than bran the broken? literally every other character in the whole show

jon: i could write an entire essay.

- both of his main story arcs have such pathetic conclusions. 

1, the white walkers: he has nothing to do with killing the nk aside from knocking him off his dragon with dany. we don’t even get a confrontation. fuck your surprises, i want good storytelling. building up his prowess with a sword, focusing on multiple NK staredowns, with no payoff is INFURIATING. he didn’t need the final kill, but he should have at least fought the NK!!!! had something to do with his death!! or even at least fought a fucking white walker.

2. R+L=J. so the whole point of this shit was just to make dany go crazy? i thought this would matter moreso for ending the long night, “a song of ice and fire”, the prince that was promised is to come from aerys’ line, etc. but nope. then it has nothing to do with the endgame king, because he gets shipped off to the nights watch. so the core mystery of the show all ends up being fucking WORTHLESS. surely there must be more to this in the books?????? 

- WHAT DID THEY DO TO HIS CHARACTER??????? he becomes dany’s pet. jon speaks his mind against authority figures. he stood up to stannis. he stood up to alliser. he stood up to dany herself LAST SEASON in the throne room when she was belittling him. he refused to bend the knee for her. after that, ... man lost all agency. even after she COMMITS GENOCIDE, he’s like “oh lol well cersei left her no choice”. bruh, i know you love her, but the jon i know would never defend someone that far gone.

- they gave him a dragon for 3 episodes then killed the dragon off without even showing a reaction from him. that’s just fantastic, d&d

- he saves the realm from daenerys, unites armies against the WWs, and is rewarded with a sentence to the NW by his own brother. this show is fucking shit. 

tyrion/varys: from the political masterminds of the show to cock jokes. varys in particular was absolutely massacred. he survived all those years under aerys, joffrey, etc. while plotting behind their backs, yet openly plotted treason + sent out ravens announcing jon as the rightful heir before dany even did anything horrible lmao

jaime: i’m undecided on the jaime/cersei storyline. i don’t LIKE that it didn’t end up being a redemption arc, but it’s not necessarily bad that he was unable to escape his cersei addiction.... that can be interesting.

what’s really shit is him saying he doesn’t care about innocents. it renders one of the best moments in the show useless - the bathtub scene with brienne, where he tells her he killed aerys to save his father and the citizens of kings landing. it makes me wonder what the hell the point of his storyline was. so guy is back at the beginning, then? gives no shits about anyone but cersei? it’s unsatisfying. i feel like i watched him grow throughout these years for no reason, in the end

cersei: done dirty as fuck, had nothing to do all year. what is there to even say, when her only screentime was her sipping wine and looking out a window

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

7O3X 1 | Saiyuki Reload Blast 1 | Konbini Kareshi 1 | Knight’s & Magic 1 | Chronos Ruler 1 | 18if 1 | Boku no Hero Academia 27 | Vatican Kiseki Chousakan 1 | Katsugeki 2 | Hina Logi 2 - 3

Still need votes for this.

7O3X 1

As you can kinda tell from these notes, I love random trivia, so this was a hype show ever since I found out about it. Then again, I never thought a quiz anime would exist in the first place prior to the announcement of this.

Okay, question 1 – why exactly did some Japanese staff member saddle this show with a name that doesn’t match the Japanese title at all? So long as you know O is a correct answer, you’re fine…

I love how they’ve styled the credits to be like a Q and A. That really works in the show’s favour.

Headband girl’s name is Mari Fukami, right? How does she pose her legs like that?!

For some reason, I like Shiki’s name in the Western order more…

Interesting how Kuroda stands out more than Shiki, knowing anime tropes.

I’m not entirely up to snuff on Japan’s nuclear stuff, but the Descartes saying is fairly well known and I got it. The thing about quiz shows is that you have to want to play along, which I’m not getting just yet, but this is just the setup stage so I’ll keep going. Sahara…The Metamorphosis (I love transformation fiction, so to get a question about Metamorphosis so early on basically means you’ve won me over, LOL)…I think the deeper this goes, the more cliché it may seem, but I like it. Especially because I remember  helping out at the library a lot (plus free pizza as a result…haha).

The books Shiki passes by include “The World of Literature You Don’t Know” and a parody of that Arukeyo Otome thing by Masaaki Yuasa that was released recently (which is based on a novel). Specifically, the name of the 7O3X version of the book is “The Morning is Short, Walk On Girl” (to use the sentence pattern of the original).

Ah, now Shiki’s a kiddo that gets me! I’ve never been too sociable to people and before I got too deep with the internet, it was just me and books, and as a result I specialised in everything English (bar writing, which I was average at). However, by the time I was 13, I lost my skills in English to essays. My love of anime made its resurgence around then so I suspect if I were still a book nerd, I wouldn’t be where I am today…

Okay, I think someone on the ‘net warned me about the panty shot. It’s a good thing Shiki is clearly uncomfortable with it…yeah. Moving on.

That club with the skirts really is disturbing, but I couldn’t help laughing like the brunette in front of Shiki.

Gakuto really made a great first impression. It wowed me. Unfortunately, the quiz show he referenced doesn’t exist, according to Google-sensei…”High School Quiz Show” apparently does, though.

I think there are specialised makers of those buzzers, Shiki. Or you could order them online or something, your call.

Please stop with the panty shot references…but sticking “April” in English really doesn’t make this question work out for me. So, to answer in Japanese, it would be shigatsu.

There are 50 stars on the American flag, right?…Yep. It wasn’t a trick question – buzzing in too fast can be a liability, so make sure you listen to the entire question before you answer!

I’d actually guess Gakuto is going to ask for “the nation with the most people”…Darnit! Oh well, I knew that one before the other guy buzzed in. Interesting how there’s Vatican Miracle Examiner this season though.

I suck at anticipating questions, but I’m good at answering like Shiki. “Et tu, Brute?” is said by Julius Caesar.

The guy to Mari’s left just seems to be fooling around. I’d know that sort of guy anywhere…*frowning face*

I don’t know about this “I fell in love” one…By the way, the text is here. That reveals the author is Dazai and Das Gemeine actually starts with “Back then, each day was the end of my life.” “I fell in love” comes after that.

Kaijou High School? Is this foreshadowing for a later opponent? Like, say, Mikuriya Chisato?

Stop it with the panty shot reference! Argh!

Wait, there’s a silhouette there in one of the circles. The long hair and colour of the circle indicates it’s most likely a girl, but probably one the staff want to keep secret…Interesting.

I’m kind of ambivalent, as this was one of 4 major hype shows for me. The number of panty shot references means they may refer to the event again in subsequent episodes, and fanservice has killed shows for me in the past. However, I’m slowly getting the hang of this quiz bowl stuff, even if I can’t always get in before the answer, and I know the emphasis is on quizzes, so I’ll give it another ep.

Saiyuki Reload Blast 1

Apparently, you don’t need to know much to get into Saiyuki so *shrugs* I’m gonna try it.

I think a more literal version of this ep title is “Sudden Storm”. “Squall” implies power as much as immediacy…

This reeks of DN Angel (late 90s/early 2000s) style, and I like it! Plus I’ve heard of the dragon/Jeep from other people who’ve talked about the series (notably there was an article on CR that convinced me to watch this and it mentioned the dragon), so…that was actually no biggie. Camera blood spatter is a bit questionable, though…

I have weird tastes in humour, as you might know from Kado. Therefore, when the woman appeared at the window, I laughed myself silly…

Shangri-la is China, so it’s natural that west China is different to east China. Kind of like how western America and eastern America are different…

I dunno why Gojyo is a water sprite, but that “diarrhoea sprite” thing is funny.

Gahh! That blonde (Sanzo) is too hot for me! No wonder people put characters on dakimakura, this guy looks right at home on one.

Well, I dunno what I just got myself into, but that was some good stuff! Next ep, please! (Plus, Granrodeo and Luck Life, the same duo of artists on Bungou Stray Dogs. That’s gotta be a good sign, right?)

Oh great, I left the ep running and it turns out there’s an after credits segment. Tsukigakirei’s after credits extras didn’t quite work for me, but since I laughed so much at the main show, this shouldn’t hurt, right?

G-Guh! The dragon can write calligraphy?! With its feet?! At least the joke works in Japanese and English…

That baldness joke works for me, considering I know Sanzo’s a priest…welp, if you get a lil’ background knowledge, it seems like you can conquer almost anything Saiyuki, and who knows what places it’ll take me in the future, eh?

Konbini Kareshi 1

I’m here for the VA talent, if nothing else. Nishiyama’s (Atsushi of Boueibu) getting a lot of side roles lately, which is great!

That running sequence took a good minute and a half, which is the same length as the OP. I almost noped out of there because that kind of thing is only compelling for about 10 seconds for me.

There’s something that’s a hybrid of Sagrada Reset, Denpa Kyoushi and Tsukigakirei here…which means it’ll probably get a low to medium rating, if anything. I can normally peg what sort of rating a show will get by its first episode,because shows tend to be consistent about what they do.

Interesting to note they don’t use shigatsu here.

The picture book is “The Mermaid Prince” (<- update: “The Merfolk Prince” is a better translation, so my bad). It was pretty obvious by the swimming sequence in the OP that at least one of these guys is a swimmer, or at least a PE nut (as some of the other things on his table suggest).<br>

I’ve never seen a younger brother be a morning person and the one to wake up a sibling. It’s always an imouto or a mother…

Wasn’t this straight romance, and not Hitorijime My Hero romance? Towa really has that bromance thing going on for him, the way Suna and Takeo (Ore Monogatari) do.

CS I think is a reference to BS Japan, one of the TV stations that shows Boueibu. Update: It’s actually highly likely to be CS-TBS, which shows the show. By the by, Nishiyama is Miki.

The red keion announcement vaguely pisses me off simply because I know that’s the light music club. I’ve seen small snippets of K-On, and while it wasn’t enough to warrant marking episodes off, catchy songs aren’t enough to keep me coming back.

This first meeting seems a little hamfisted for some reason I can’t put my finger on. However, it’s great Miki’s getting a lot of lines right here, although it’s still a side role…

The background scenery is beautiful in this show…

Here we go again…(basically, I have a very low opinion of this show, just as I suspected I would have).

I’ve got the volume on to evaluate Nishiyama, but the high-pitched teasing voice Towa just used is not natural at all. It would’ve worked better in his normal voice.

I get why the girls are fangirling over books, but I didn’t get who Michael Ende was until “The Neverending Story” came up, haha.

Glasses girl (Mami, right?) is reading something called “Glasses Man”, haha.

There’s a lot of voiceover here, as if the anime staff don’t quite care about their show enough to animate lip flaps.

As soon as she stepped on his foot and he didn’t give chase, that’s when I realised I didn’t quite care about these people. The pacing in this show, during critical moments, is just too awkward, that’s why…

Well, that was subpar. It has an opportunity to get better next ep, but I don’t care to stick around enough. However, there’s an interesting thing in the ED – there’s credits for scripting “Merfolk Prince”, meaning that may show up in a later ep. This ED sounds Coldplay-turned-Japanese, which is cool.

Knight’s & Magic 1

If you didn’t notice already, I’ve become so complacent with the premieres, this is my biggest season so far. If I finish watching every first ep I intend to watch as of the count I did for this commentary, I’d have 17 documented (7 more than on my hype list) because I have time, plus I’m relying on ANN to find me the good stuff this time.

What’s with that apostrophe in the title? As someone who likes their grammar to be correct, I just don’t like it.

I get the appeal of programming as an IT nerd, but it’s an acquired taste, plus it doesn’t have much payoff when you get frustrated at problems within your own code because it’s all a bunch of words and punctuation anyway.

Oh, it’s that effect where you-letterboxing! That’s what I was thinking of! (Reminds me of Erased.) Also, the ambient light is nice here, but the angled letterboxing is just plain weird.

CGI…bugs? That’s a pretty bad choice for monsters, IMHO.

ANN people have commented Erni’s past went too fast and I agree. Also, it’s just cliché after cliché with this show, ain’t it? Including the need to kabedon a girl.

Why does red eyed girl look like Atsushi of Bungou Stray Dogs? Plus, the wear on the mechas is nice.

Not every man – or every woman or other kind of person – dreams of robots, y’know?

“Trandorkis.” That’s the worst name I’ve ever heard in a while, and not just because it has “dork” in it, mind you.

Well, the look is shiny, bright and appealing and I can see this having a niche appeal to those who like giant robots. However, the backstory was too fast and Erni is way too OP for this world, so I’m dropping it.

Chronos Ruler 1

I’m familiar with only the first one or two chapters of the source material, so I was surprised this got adapted to anime…considering it’s a Taiwanese creator on a Jump manga though, it was kinda inevitable these days with all the Chinese coproductions.

That was a pretty interesting intro, even if it seemed like I’d watched the PV instead.

The battle there was good but a lil’ rotoscopy…hmph.

The colour scheme’s a lil’ dark…it’s a bit worrying, because Chronos Ruler normally has some pretty bright colours. I don’t want this to come off as a completely edgelord work like Big Order. I don’t seem to recall this dog though…

I’m pretty sure I don’t remember the forced humour spot, either, though it’s not as bad as, say, Bungou, where the director is known for his distinctive style of humour. Then again, my memory on this stuff is kinda vague.

This thing is starting to show cracks in its façade. Some of the movements are stiff and the CGI, while integreated well, doesn’t quite work with the 2D (although that’s shown up since the battle with the Horologue). “Cabalet” really adds to the cracks.

Every time Kiri speaks, I think of Kunikida (Bungou), so Victo is Dazai.

Adding the music to the show really adds another crack. There is absolutely no singing going on in this one singing scene.

Cue bad time puns. Puns are one of my specialties, y’know, so I don’t mind ‘em. Why else would I run LOL Yeah Shinichi, eh?

Victo, you remind me so much of +Anima’s Senri…and that’s just beautiful. Not many shows remind me of that. To anyone reading this, if you can get your hands on the old Tokyopop releases, +Anima is a gorgeous series, so go read it!

If Victo’s cards can fire at Mach 10, then he can’t beat Koro-sensei, LOL. (Ouch.)

Kids, don’t wear your hats inside. That’s an etiquette thing you should never forget, okay?

That was…strangely a much better premiere than I expected a Chinese part-production to be like! It’s better than the bunch of premieres I’ve tackled already and since good premieres are scarce, I’m taking it!

Update: Here’s another sign that doesn’t bode well for this show – it’s got the same director as Chaos Dragon (Masato Matsune), which I dropped after 2 eps. Chaos Dragon is known to be the epitome of road apples around the internet…

18if 1

18if was initially the only thing guaranteed to be out of Amazon’s greedy hands, so it’s great to see something so visually exciting ifnally be here for me. I know it’s based on a mobile game, which tend to be bad, but…c’mon, I’m struggling to find a good lineup here with what’s basically the death of Kaito x Ansa (it debuted on the 12th, but still hasn’t come CR’s way). Katsugeki’s good though, so at least that’s a lock for the commentary…

Quick –is this thing meant to be fully English? Or is this just Funimation being annoying?

Oh no, what a horrible first impression! Someone who speaks from their *erhem* and a chicken, aka cock…*muffles laughter* How dirty of me to even suggest it, but…well, it’s what we’re working with here.

The more I watch, the more confused I get.

Couldn’t Haruto have run towards the door? Or is this one of those non-lucid dreams?

This 16 frame simultaneous animation doesn’t quite work for me, but it’s an interesting hallmark of this anime.

Katsumi’s a Looney Toons Cat, sort of kind of…

The production values are mostly quite good, but unfortunately Haruto looks eyesearingly bad and I still can’t quite grasp the narrative thread of this show…

I just realised I completely didn’t care about Haruto getting his arm chopped off, not only because this is a dream world where anything can happen, but because heck, that arm drop wasn’t dramatic in the least.

“Anything can happen in this world”, eh? Including headphones being sliced off with a head, it seems.

Wait, so Yuko’s from his school? Haruto, please don’t encourage Yuko to skip school, as cool as that is.

Okay, I can see this becoming a harem crossed with The Royal Tutor…which would pretty much make this the Monogatari series. Unfortunately, because I still can’t quite detect what’s happened narrative-wise and the production values aren’t as great as they seem at first glance, I’m dropping this.

Boku no Hero Academia 27

Finally, we get out of that pool of mediocrity to get to the good stuff. Let’s go!

This new amazarashi OP is…great! Absolutely great match for this show…but as a musical choice for me, it’s kinda dull.

This old man is great humour-wise, but man, he’s basically Speed of Sound Sonic as an old geezer, LOL. The vibes between “little bro” and “big bro” are just too much.

Gran Torino really is a great old guy, basically Yoda, LOL (I had to make the comparison because even though I’ve never seen Star Wars, Horikoshi’s a fan). He can see weakness just from watching Deku on TV, which is what every great mentor should be able to do, right?

What makes movement flexible? Belief in one’s own strength and no fear for repercussions (not quite in the way Deku’s doing right now, but rather going all out all the time without having a subconscious fear drag you down). Also of course exercise and youth works in your favour.

Deku likes katsudon, LOL. No wonder he’s basically Yuri Katsuki’s little bro as well as Saitama’s, hahaha.

Best Jeanist is basically Aoyama gone pro (I’ll say ouch for Bakugou in advance).

Oh! Uwabami! I know she came from Oumagadoki Zoo, so it’s nice to see her animated!

Gahaha, Gran Torino is such a Mr Miyagi (even though I’ve never seen the original Karate Kid).

“Omazan”, LOL! This ep just keeps getting better and better!

Gahaha, I just made a comparison of Yuri Katsuki to Deku, and suddenly here come the food metaphors. This show became superhero!YOI with better comedy, and that’s just even more fantabulous than before.

This fairy tale AU, I dig it. Unfortunately, Mercy (@mercysorrows) spoilt prince!Shouto for me, but yes, this AU is just as great as the ep itself. Kaminari looks great in this, although I’m disappointed I couldn’t see Tokoyami. What a great twist at the end though, for it to be 1-A’s festival album…is that foreshadowing for a later arc, perhaps? (The All Might fire is both a fitting and a sad analogy, because All Might’s force is literally Deku’s sword and shield and All Might’s presence is what makes Deku a hero, yet it suggests Toshinori’s time as a buff man is limited…*feels all sad inside*)

Vatican Kiseki Chousakan 1

This one actually seems like it has some promise, and because I was a Detective Conan fan a few years back I’m a sucker for any new seasonal mystery series. By the way, let’s just call this “The Vatican Anime” and leave it at that, okay?

“This story is a work of fiction…” – The Vatican’s real, though, right? By the way, “succor” is, according to Google-sensei, “assistance and support in times of hardship and distress.”

The shaky camera doesn’t quite do it for me…There was similar stuff for Chronos Ruler, only that time they overdid their spinning.

I thought the door was an elevator, that’s how deceiving that doorbell was. Sheesh though, Hiraga looks like the dude from 91 Days when he’s tired (which is not a compliment!).

The Game of Angels and Demons seems to be reversi or something, Google doesn’t give me anything good on it.

*points at undressed Hiraga* Unnecessary, but wowee. Me likey.

“I’m the one who came up with the game.” – Oh, that explains why I had no proper hits on it…*sighs*

Biometrics? I thought we were in the 91 Days era, or at least another period in the past. Turns out we’re in the present (or somewhere very close to it).

Comparison to Youkai Apato here – both shows take care to state the obvious, but well…they’ve all got a good dose of (at least somewhat good looking) bishies, so I can live with that.

Okay, wait…they show Mexico on the map, but Google just keeps getting me hits for New Mexico (slightly off from the shown section of America) when I look for “aliens America 1945”, and Roswell was 1947 so uh…this really is a work of fiction, after all.

The most widespread religion where I am is Christianity, so it was optional for me to take RE back in the day. I’m not too familiar with Catholics (although there should be some if I bother to look for them), but…this smacks so much of my old RE classes yet doesn’t give me the same nostalgia as the recent Saiyuki did. Maybe it’s the cracks of subparness and the stating the obvious that are doing this.

This Jacob guy looks brainwashed. More than the other procession of priests we’ve just been introduced to, at least.

Bad CGI…then again, I keep these gripes because even Chronos Ruler does better than this and because Kado is its precedent.

“…follow the way like a little child would.”

So the show finally shows some promise! Why did it only start pulling out its big guns now? Probably lazy writing…

I know the AB negative blood is rare, but couldn’t there be someone else with that blood type around the Church? It’s not impossible, y’know?

Can someone verify the correctness of the Italian in this email?

I think we met Johannes already, so…it seems like this show has a propensity to introduce the viewer to a person twice over. That works when things are like Detective Conan (one story spread over 3 eps) but doesn’t work for 1 ep.

I get a sense of feeling of blasphemy from you guys (Hiraga and Nicolas) too, although I’ve pointed out my reasoning.

It’s a good thing it seems like the staff went out to the Vatican to get something that looks realistic, eh?

Wait, is Lauren a man?! Oh my…Also, from my version of the video (from Hidive/Sentai) I get the feeling the next ep preview got blended into the ED. Or was that just time constraints?

Wait, there’s a Horror Bunko? If I knew a Horror Bunko existed, why haven’t they started adapting stuff from it until now? I think people have been complaining about the lack of good horror works in anime…(Oh, I could probably answer my own question there – horror isn’t that popular in Japan itself. It’s popular in the West though…)

All in all, it’s not quite as Scooby-Doo as some people have pegged it to be, but not inspiring enough to continue.

Katsugeki 2

I’m pretty scarce on choice, so I’m doing what was previously never ever done before – I’m picking up one of my worst rankers (Hina Logi) to have a second look at. Mind you, we’ve had an overall stinker of a season so far.

(insert “Come at me, bro!” joke for Tonbokiri)

Huh, interesting – I’ve used female pronouns for the saniwa due to the female VA, but now that I properly listen to them, they do seem more like a dude. Does that mean that Touken Ranbu is specifically trying to go for a larger audience than just fangirls? Of course, for the fangirls, there’s Hanamaru, but Katsugeki’s way better.

Okay, Mutsu. 6 bullets is overkill, calm your gun-totin’ farm. Mutsu’s much like the typical anime protag and while he’s an alright sword, I never have been able to understand the appeal behind him. Maybe he’s for the people who like muscular bishies…? Tonbokiri and Yamabushi probably do that better than him…

LOL, these two. However, just comparing their stats, Kane-san edges over Mutsu a bit for everything aside from range…and that’s only because most swords have a short range.

When you talk about Tonbokiri, you often hear the legend, so it’s no surprise to hear it here. I’m just not good with sorting these swords chronologically though, so…Tonbikiri comes from the age of Nobunaga no Shinobi, huh? Interesting.

Daifuku.

The reason Mutsu carries a gun is because Ryoma Sakamoto was around during the dying days of the age of swords.

It’s kinda hard to hear what Mutsu’s saying from the way he talks, but the hot pot is specifically a nabe.

Noting that Tonbokiri’s ben out about 50 times, this saniwa really is a rookie and this era is probably the second or third map. Yagen isn’t too rare though, so he’s probably the biggest veteran here in regards to this saniwa. However, Mutsu’s number means that this saniwa’s starter wasn’t him…who was it, then?

Mutsu’s statement about daifuku is a pun on the fact “daifuku” means “great luck” as well as being a name for this mochi-like item.

Mutsu, weren’t you going to eat…?

What even is a Historical Restraining Force? Is that the group the saniwa is part of?…My bad, they just explained it.

One of the things that make Touken Ranbu so great is the propensity of it to go from battle action to serious drama or poignant melancholy at the drop of a hat.

This ED…was an odd choice, but has a nice singer. I realised the shots of people I don’t recognise show the swords when they were…y’know, swords. I still love the style of the next ep preview though (it’s even got the same BGM as the game!) and as expected, the citadel at the end of the ED is gorgeous.

Hina Logi 2

Good anime are scarce this season and magical girl shows that can be put through the commentary are scarcer, so…here we are.

“Rice Balls Over Flowers” is hana yori dango. Plus, hina means chick and since chicks are cute, I guess that’s where the aesthetic of the show comes from.

Someone likes the Osomatsu-san ED aesthetic, it seems.

How can you walk and not notice those breasts??? That’s exactly why I didn’t want to pick up this show again.

A qipao is a type of Chinese dress, the sort that normally has a slit up the leg and a skirt that doesn’t quite go to the knees.

Interesting, they’ve incorporated the panda hair accessories into the Trance.

For some reason, the production values here are quite nice, meaning either luck and Logic sells well in Japan or Bushiroad put a lot of their funding behind this…it’s probably a case of both.

She wants to stay with Nina, but unless she was either bored or maltreated at her home castle (which I don’t think was the case) I don’t really get Lion’s motivations…

Well, it actually was a rice ball (onigiri)! Geez, these puns…

Nina needing a logical answer is of course appropriate for a show based off Luck and Logic, LOL.

I seem to remember this Veronica lady from the original, which is funny, because I don’t remember Nina and Luck and Logic was very forgettable…

*tries to sneak away* Gratuitous boob shot? On a high schooler? Yeah, nah.

“small little town” – Small and little are the same thing though…

Trying to entice the lolicons with this ED is not good, y’know.

There really seems to be something hinted about Kagura-sensei, y’know?

I’ve termed this season “the race to the bottom”, but it was interesting to actually pull out a low ranker and give it a second chance. While I’m still not into Hina Logi as a whole and I gave it a 30 first time around, it’s probably better than that stinker Konbini Kareshi.

Hina Logi 3

*shakes head* Only in anime would someone ride a rocket like this. Only in anime.

I can’t see what Lion’s pointing to…

I am screaming profanities at my screen and shaking my head. Only in anime would a plotline like this happen. Only in anime!

I kinda understand Lion’s plight, since my dad used to go to my school to help out every now and again or have parent teacher interviews. Of course, that was when I was much younger, so…yeah. I think the staff are trying to get more younger girls involved in this by bringing in a “sexy dad”, but my tastes don’t skew that way.

Oh, now I understand Lion, but I still don’t get Mahiro, Yayoi, Karin or Karen.

Doesn’t spasibo mean “thank you” in Russian?…Yep. So Liones (country) is based on Russia, then.

Oh gosh, it’s one of those “There are two trains” questions…they bore me to death so much (and I can never solve them!) that as much as I like solving anime board questions, I’ll pass on this one.

The subber at CR decided to put their sub out of the way at the expense of being able to read the question. However, not being able to read the sub of the dialogue is a major problem! So I have absolutely no idea what the teacher was saying during the time she had that math problem up! (Also, that Foreigner question would depend on if you defeated the monster on impact or took extra time to properly defeat it.)

When there’s that screen with the four visuals on it, there’s a girl with a horned hoodie. I recognise her from the original series, but I don’t remember her name.

Here’s something on ezhiki, although there also appears to be a cookie variant.

Little kids always want their own independence, to the point where running away is one of those things most kids do, but then they come back. I don’t think I ever ran away from home, though. I was always too busy with studies and piano to run away…

I know these eyecatch-style screens are meant to be funny, but still…I never laugh at them…isn’t that sad for a show that wants to be a funny slice of life/fantasy…thing?

Last time I saw a bear in anime, it was Armed Girls Machiavellism…

Why would you ever need a bear repelling machine???

Who’s Belle?…Oh yeah, Belle is the squirrel.

Dasvidanya = goodbye. I’ve learnt more Russian because of anime than I ever would have without it (I read the entirety of Crime and Punishment thanks to that gorgeous Fyodor in Bungou Stray Dogs, y’know).

[elizabethrobertajones]

Hey 😊 What are your thoughts on not!Lucille being included in 12x15? I feel like I'm the only one (unpopular opinion coming) but I hated the way they did it? The fact that Dean ENJOYED using the bat (or at least seemed to), and was looking at it/handling it with REVERENCE creeped me out? It just drew parallels with Negan that I didn't want drawn? I mean I get that it's JDM, but Dean should never be paralleled with Negan 😭😭, it betrays who he is as a character just to get a cool reference in😭

Heya! Funnily enough I ended up in the same place, kind of. At least, being totally horrified by it, after I had a very good laugh on first impressions. I don’t think they shouldn’t have done it though because it was a great joke on first impression and then the fridge horror of it all actually works really well for me thematically with exactly what was going on in that scene ANYWAY so it was actually an incredibly clever and layered joke that I think happened to just fit in with something they were trying to tell anyway.

I actually talked out everything I had to say about it in my watching notes, so I hope you don’t mind me C&P-ing them to save time, after I already C&P’d a conversation with @mittensmorgul to save time on writing these, so really this is incredibly incredibly lazy :D Laziness squared.

Pfft some extras from the Walking Dead wander into the Bunker making obvious pop culture references. Do we even analyse that mention of Dad or do we just laugh hysterically and move on?

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Wait so that time when they seemed to have it on set they weren’t just fucking around with the baseball bat because they felt like making one but it was actually going to be in an episode oh my god

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I wonder if Mary has been watching The Walking Dead or if she hasn’t had time.

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Being distracted by Mittens:

elizabethrobertajonesWait - Sam is clean… is this meta or are we still in the pop culture reference?

mittensmorgulThe things on Dean, “ghoul, wraith, siren.”

elizabethrobertajonesyeahThey fought a SIRENWHAT HAPPENI want to know everything

mittensmorgulI DON’T KNOW?!

elizabethrobertajonesI bet if it was “back to back to back” they didn’t have time for it to be complicated

mittensmorgulI mean, DEAN fought the siren, Sam is completely clean

elizabethrobertajonesWHY IS SAM CLEAN

mittensmorgulAnd Dean’s been wearing his underpants for four daysPeople are screaming OOC

elizabethrobertajonesoh god

mittensmorgulI have no idea

elizabethrobertajonesAhahahahah  "Frodo"

mittensmorgulSort of reminded me of how he looked after he killed the stynes

elizabethrobertajonesIs that a thing

mittensmorgul:D

elizabethrobertajonesmaybe they intentionally USE those code namesmaybe Mary talked to Samwait if Mick is telling Sam where to gohas he given them “back to back to back”

mittensmorgulyes…

elizabethrobertajonesand Dean did all the killingand Sam was cleanOkay THERE’S the symbolism I was looking for :P

mittensmorguldo go on…:D

elizabethrobertajonesI am literally paused just at “Frodo” and his missing campers message so idk what happens nextbut yeah :PDean’s being used as the weapon here and Sam’s coordinatingAka trying to turn him into Ketchor Mark!DeanSam doesn’t have any blood on his hands for these huntsand they’re coming too fast for Dean to process them and work out shades of grey….

mittensmorgulYep

elizabethrobertajoneswhich means the Negan thing is probably a reference to how bloody it has all beenand not just a joke >.>

mittensmorgulnope

elizabethrobertajonesthey’re trying to turn him back into a bloody single minded hunter like Johnthis is awfulI LAUGHEDnow I feel horrible about it all :P

elizabethrobertajonesAlso Dean not being a germ freak about it all is probably a bad sign >.>

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elizabethrobertajonesOh no Sam lyingepically

mittensmorgulyep

elizabethrobertajonesreminds me of 8x01 when he tells Dean how he found Kevinbut he actually did thatDean like Purgatory DeanWait fuck that baseball bat is his purgatory weapon*slides under the table* Go away NeganThis is worse than the Eliot Ness thing

To clarify that last reference, it’s when they get to the uni campus and Sam explains in great detail how he tracked Kevin via his IP address and router and stuff, while Dean sits there unimpressed eating his first burger back from Purgatory. Despite actually being shown as the better HACKER (thanks, “Strictly into Dick” moment) Sam’s got a broader computer knowledge while Dean seems to have just intuitively picked up the software Frank and Charlie taught him better than Sam, probably because Dean learns the tools of the trade while Sam is, really broadly, more aligned with lore and research (this is a gross oversimplification for both but all these moments play into it) 

I think it was also that Dean forgot computers while he was in Purgatory and had to sort of re-learn being in the modern world and showing him not following computer babble was a good way to show how his mind was working right then… he re-learns it off-screen and within a few episodes was perfectly competent again. Dean making silly comments about computers only being good for monsters and porn also echoes that sentiment while he’s in a sort of over-hunted exhaustion because I think the point was to show him in a very particular state where all the Dean danger signs are flaring up, from not being precious about keeping his home tidy and initially rejecting the shower, to almost… tempting him with the high of killing monsters endlessly, and making him channel the darker part of himself that gets involved in killing. The attack dog imagery wasn’t spelled out for once, but Sam being completely clean showed the imbalance even before we see he’s getting all the cases…

Anyway Dean channelling Negan is awful and I haven’t even seen TWD but the meta links are brilliant even with a casual outside eye on what’s going on there, because the shadow of John is over everything all the time, and Negan is like… a worst case scenario or something, a way to really explore the idea of John as the boogeyman he is in the narrative because there’s a fresh reminder out there of Negan being like… a pop culture renowned worst villain ever contender because he’s really horrifying people and making big pop culture waves as far as I can tell sitting over here really not caring what JDM or TWD are up to and hearing all about it from multiple sources anyway :P I was wondering if they’d sneak a reference in but that was extremely blatant. It would be for someone who’s actually watched TWD to comment in-depth, but anyway linking John and Negan in the narrative is CLEARLY pulling pop culture strings to make a point, and one that works in the story… 

Not to say John was that bad, but to remind us that he was a dark, ruthless hunter, for example in 2x03 he was compared to Gordon, and we’ve always known he was falling out with mainstream hunters, and clearly with a black and white revenge-y approach to monsters that would fit well with the BMoL’s goals. He instilled “saving people, hunting things” in Dean (who passed it onto Sam) but 1x01 and 1x02 are a lot about taking up the mantle of that job because John’s moved on, abandoning everything to do with working regular cases and saving people, to work on the revenge mission. It’s clear that Dean especially in season 1 and both of them in general are much more focused on saving people, and Sam in 1x22 has his huge moment at the end of picking family over revenge, after which in 2x02 he clearly gets onto the same path Dean was on in 1x02 of focusing on the job and saving people… Anyway that’s all in contrast of what we learn about John while he’s around, which is mostly that he’s running around doing plot stuff and throwing cases their way to deal with, and not behaving as a regular hunter who’d work those cases himself. He’s on a quest to get revenge where that darkness has consumed him, and we see all season through Sam, what that means with the danger it could consume him too, until Sam rejects it at the last moment. But in many cases revenge makes Sam reckless and impatient and he leaves or argues with Dean about why they’re following orders and working regular cases, so if you parallel them together, you see through Sam that John had no interest in “saving people hunting things” any more, and that it had probably only been something he did on the side to his revenge mission anyway, emotionally. Like, he starts the family business, but out of necessity, while his sons are raised in it and as a life, changing the way they relate to saving people…

Sorry, this is really rambly but I get the feeling no one ever reads my long rewatches where I write very long essays about this sort of thing, so I’m trying to summarise in a few paragraphs something I’ve written like maybe 100k words on at least after wandering through season 1 and 2 getting really invested in the early Winchester family drama :P

Anyway! tl;dr John is still haunting them, especially when Dean is in a bad way, ESPECIALLY when he’s being made to prioritise “hunting things” over “saving people” because there’s a REALLY fragile balance and Dean only functions well when he’s over on the “saving people” side, and if he’s not, angst follows :P Even just being made to hunt monsters non-stop immediately wears down on Dean’s humanity, and so you get a parallel like this, and to Purgatory, Mark!Dean, and generally showing all sorts of the good parts of Dean stripped away. >.> I think it’s a warning we should be WORRIED about Dean, NOT a direct comparison between Dean and Negan, especially as he makes the comparison himself between John and not!Lucile, and therefore the parallel is between John and Negan, and Dean’s just caught up in that as an incidental part of his characterisation, but probably isn’t going to go around braining people willy nilly.