#Zoinks ass word | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

milkacchan · 5 years ago

Text

Fav boys thinking S/O reader has a kid bc they misunderstood a conversation with friends or on the phone but in reality they were talking about their pet

Bc i talk to my dog like he's a small child and care for him like one and its caused confusion

Bakugou:

• he's just chillin

• youre in another room of the dorms

• You're within the ear shot

• and your phone rings

• he doesn't really think anything of it but he can't help but eavesdrop when youre on the phone

• nothing alarming until

• "How's my son?"

• and he freezes

• he feels himself pale but he keeps listening

• "I miss him so much, I didn't know it was going to be this hard to be away from him," you groan. "I just want to see him and boop his nose and coddle him."

• Jesus christ

• "he's getting chubby though, thats good, he was so tiny when he was born. So much loose skin-"

• Ngl his stomach kinda drops

• You have a kid??

• How did this happen- WHEN did it happen?

• It couldn't have-

• oh it very well could

• You disappeared for your 2nd year in UA- it could've happened then-

• and you didn't tell him.

• Not when he was your best friend and not when he was your boyfriend

• He feels betrayed- he feels gross-

• he has a right to at least KNOW of the child's existence- I mean he knew it wasn't his, but still.

• And so for the next days he's really weird.

• he tries to he normal with you, text when he can, hug you goodbye, just continue like things were

• but he just couldn't.

• And he dreads when you confront him about it- he knew you would, you've always been like that

• "You have a kid!" He snaps. "You left during second year, didn't tell anyone about it and then you came back- and you didn't tell me. I wouldn't have been mad! I wouldn't have pushed you away, I-"

"Katsuki what the FUCK are you talking about?"

"You. Have. A. Child."

"Source?"

"When you were on the phone with your mom?"

You paused for a moment. "Jesus Christ Kat, I was talking about my puppy. I got a dog while I was traveling ABROAD during my SECOND year, with my COUSIN. I helped deliver him because I was interning at a vet. He was the runt and they thought he was gonna die. So I stayed an extra two weeks and I brought him home."

He clenched his jaw. "God damn."

"Katsuki, I tell you everything. I wouldn't hide that from you. Besides," you made a face, "i'm too scared to have sex with you, because sex is scary. Why the fuck would I have it with anyone else?"

"I dunno." He mumbled.

• You take him to see your dog, obviously

Kirishima:

• he isn't even entirely sure what you were doing

• all he knows is that you're cooing into the phone held against you ear

• "Hey baby, its me! You miss momma?"

• Momma.

• bro- he just kinda zones out.

• his mind immediately going to the fact that you might have a child- not might- you do

• I mean how else could you explain that?

• he didn't even stop to think WHEN you could've had a child. He just jumped right in.

• He wasn't mad- how could he be?

• it wasn't wrong for you to have a kid.

• maybe you should've told him but you could've been scared.

• afraid he might leave you

• he wouldn't leave you, God no.

• he loved you and it was going to stay to help you

• I mean, he doesn't want you to go through this alone.

• You guys are what, just barley 18? You already have a kid, thats gotta be tough.

• So he makes the decision, instead of being upset or hurt that you didn't tell him, he's just going to step in and see if you'd like help.

• He won't push to meet the kid, thats up to you. Introducing kids to partners before its really serious doesn't always go over too well.

• he plans what he's going to say in his head, goes over it twice and nids to himself.

• that all goes out the window when you sit on the couch again

• "You have a kid?" He blurts and mentally kicks himself afterwards.

"I'm sorry what?"

"It's okay, I'm not mad, really," he put his hands up, "It's hard to tell someone about it. You can trust me with stuff, even things like that. I won't use it against you or get mad- I'll even help out if you need. Sure its not mine but it really doesn't need to me-"

"Eiji, baby, shut the fuck up for a second."

He closes his mouth, stopping his ramble.

"What are you talking about?"

"On the phone, you were talking. To your kid right? You said 'it's momma,' and-"

"Babe I was talking to my dog. I haven't seen her in two months and she recognizes my voice over the phone. I talk to her most nights before bed. We just had to do it earlier today."

• He feels his face flush.

• Jesus christ.

• you're cackling.

• he doesn't think its that funny

• he profusely apologizes for thinking you had a kid, implying that you did /things/ with anither person

• Obviously you take him to meet your dog because what kind of mother would you be if you didn't?

Deku:

• Dekus the kind of guy that would definitely take a few days to himself if he found that out.

• You've got a 50 50 chance of him staying

• He doesn't like it when people lie to begin with, it makes him feel weird

• So for him to find out you have a whole ass /child/ that he didn't know about?

• he's pissed. And sad. And confused. Because when the fuck did you have it??

• You'd think with all the analyzing he did, he'd be able to pick up maybe you were talking about a pet or something??

• Wrong. His emotions take over and he's just gone

• and once you get off the phone you're like?? Zuku? Baby where'd you go???

• 3 days.

• 3 Days he ignores your texts, calls, approaches before you get tired of it

• during those 3 days, well- day 3 more like, he goes to his friends

• like fuck i have a problem

• and theyre like ?????

• "So um- they have a kid."

"They what??????"

"Y/n has a kid. I heard them talking over the phone."

"Do you think maybe you mught've misunderstood? I mean when yould they even have had time to have one?"

"I don't know! But they didn't tell me! What am I supposed to do?"

"First off," todoroki begins, "what did they say that led you to believe they have a child?"

"Well, they were like, he's my son- not yours, and then they were like, he's growing out of his clothes, and but that his feet were still tiny-"

"Did they use a name?"

"Yeah, well, a nickname I guess, stubby? I think it was?"

"Midoryia that's their dog. They have a dog who likes to wear sweaters. Since he's a puppy " Todoroki sits up. "She refers to her dog as her son.

"I thought they only had a bird," he dropped his head to the table and whined.”They only told me about their bird,”

"Good luck fixing that."

• He brings you flowers.

• and chocolate

• to your dorm

• and when you answer you look very displeased.

• you just kind of eye him, waiting for him to speak.

• "Angel," he begins, "I'm sorry. I- I jumped to a conclusion."

"And what conclusion was that."

"That you had a kid." He mumbled. "When you were talking about your dog."

"You dumb fuck, we haven't even had sex yet. Who else would I be with? When would I even have had time to make a human being?"

"I know. I'm sorry."

• He wants to meet the dog.

• You make him wait.

• HOWEVER

• You do show him pictures.

Sero:

• He's high off his ass bro.

• fuckin zoinked

• you take a phone call in which you clearly mention dog features but he only seems to catch baby, princess, daughter, small toes, and chubby

• N he's like sweet you have a daughter,

• and then he forgets about it, too caught up with staring at something on the ceiling

• a bug he thinks

• and then he starts laughing because he thinks the word bug is funny lmao

• and when you get off the phone he leans his head against you

• and like 10 minutes later he remembers as he's kissing your neck

• "oh, so you have a daughter? How old is she?" He's so nonchalant too lmao

"Baby what?"

"You have a daughter, right? You were talking about her over the phone. She has small toes. How old is she?"

"Sero, you're gone," you smile, ruffling his hair.

"What? Did I do something? I don’t want to leave,” He frowns.

"I’m not making you leave babe. I don't have a daughter. I have a puppy named bubbles, but I call her princess. She's a teacup."

"Oh that's so cute,"

• its just amazing that he wasn't conflicted by the possibility that you may have had a daughter

• maybe its because he's high

• maybe he just really doesn't fucking care

• either way he vibed with the idea

• and then was like oh cool can I see a picture of your dog then

• and then fell the fuck asleep when the high started to wear off

• boy what a day

1K notes · View notes

rightsockjin · 5 years ago

Text

Summary: SCOOBY DOO AU! Seokjin and his dog Jjangu, have a special bond, one that no one could ever challenge and it was absolutely adorable. They were always paired up to scope out the place, but when Namjoon decides to pair the team off differently and you get stuck with him instead, things take a turn for the worst…or is it for the best? ZOINKS!

Rating: M

Genre: SMUT! Mystery. Slight enemy to lover

Warnings: Food play, fingers. licking, sucking. Cunnalingus. lewd noises. Walked in on kinda. Jin is thirsty. Y/N is thirsty. Both have a meal. Moaning. Haunted house.

Word count: 4,887

Author’s note: This is so loosely based off of Scooby Doo it almost doesn’t make sense to say it is based off of it but it’s more about the vibe of Jin’s outfit. Also! Spooky season had begun! And this is a good kick off.

“Jin and Y/N, can you guys check out the west wing?”

With those eleven words from the leader’s lips, the whole dynamic of the group was turned around. Jjangu whined at his feet. His cute puppy eyes stared up at him like he knew he would be separated from his owner soon. This wasn’t normal. He usually wasn’t paired up with anyone. It was usually him and Jjangu against whatever crazy conspiracy they were checking out which always made him feel safer because dogs tended to have a sixth sense that most people lacked, but you had joined and now it seemed that he’d have to endure the presence of another person.

This wouldn’t have been a problem had it been anyone else but Namjoon knew Jin had a slight crush on you that he didn’t know how to handle and it seemed like Namjoon was just trying to push his buttons. You didn’t even like him anyway. He knew that. It was in the way that you looked at Taehyung and the way you laughed at his jokes and how close you seemed to be. He had no interest in being your second choice. No interest whatsoever but it seemed that Namjoon, the ever observant nearly omniscient leader, hadn’t noticed what he had.

“I’m going to take Jjangu with Jungkook and I-” the leader began but Jin cut him off instantly.

“Why can’t he come with me?”

Namjoon glanced at you out of the corner of his eyes for a split second, but you were too focused on Taehyung- again- to even notice. Jin gave the leader a look that had embedded a question.

Namjoon rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

“JK and I are going to the most arguably haunted part of the house and I doubt highly that Jk’s muscles will do much if we can’t see what’s around the corner. You know that Jjangu is much better at warning us when there’s something afoot.”

Jin’s heart sank. Namjoon had a point. The east wing had the most noise coming from it and he was arguably in more danger than he would be. Jjangu was a valuable asset. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to argue.

“But then what about me? I’m never paired up without him! Look at his puppy eyes…”

Namjoon indulged him but wasn’t deterred, “I need him Jin. You have an actual human with you this time.”

“So do you! And Jungkook had muscles! Y/N is built like a damn noodle.”

“Hey!”

Jin snapped his head to look at you, unamused with your interjection.

“Tell me I’m wrong, doll face.”

You glared at him, mirroring his crossed arms, then looked back at Namjoon expectantly. When he said nothing she scoffed.

“I don’t want to go with him if he doesn’t want me there. Just let me go with Taehyung or something-”

“No,” Namjoon interrupted, “Look, you wanted to come along and as much as we enjoy having you around, this is serious business. Things can go very wrong in one of our missions and it’s my call as to what happens. I need you to do as I say. It’s for everyone’s best interest.”

He turned to Jin then, “You know better than to question me. Just do it. We don’t have a lot of time.”

Jin slumped but knew he had a point. He glanced over at you, “I’m sorry. He’s right.”

He gave Jjangu a sad smile and like he had just spoken directly to him, the puppy walked over to Namjoon and sat with a diligent growl. Satisfied, Namjoon looked at his team who split into their otherwise usual groups- Joon and JK, Yoongi and Hope, Jimin and Taehyung- then looked at Jin and yourself.

Reluctantly, Jin walked over and stood by you. How could he have known from the way you filched at his proximity that in a matter of minutes he’d have you bent over a table and his face would be buried in your lower lips?

The answer? He couldn’t have known, but he’d have to thank Namjoon later.

It was silent as you both walked into the hallway that led into the west wing, contrary to the reports of screams and moaning that had brought the extended mystery gang to investigate. In a way, it made it even more creepy. The flickering of the lights that lined the walls made you jump and the cool air seemed to nip at your skin. Why had you worn a skirt to investigate a haunting? What made you think that your orange corduroy skirt and a maroon turtleneck would keep you warm in the near middle of winter in Seoul? Nothing. Nothing had told you this was a good idea, except for that stupid voice in your head that told you that maybe, just maybe, Jin would finally look at you as something more than an annoying girl who clung onto his friend group.

Though judging by his reaction only seconds before, it wasn’t looking good. Namjoon had done you a solid back there after you had confessed to him that you had a massive crush on Jin but it seemed that your attempts and his help were fruitless.

Up ahead, you could see a multitude of doors. As you walked, the wooden floor of the manor creaked and once again you jumped. Jin, having been ignoring your reactions for the last ten minutes, chose this instance to acknowledge your existence.

He sighed, his shoulder slumping as he slowly turned to look at you.

“Are you sure you’re cut out to be scouting, Y/N?”

No. You were not sure you were. You were easily frightened and the occult wasn’t your cup of tea but Namjoon had assured you it wouldn’t be horrible as places like these were usually a hoax but you saw no cameras. No signs of rigs or traps. You saw nothing to suggest a hoax.

“Y-yeah. Totally.”

It was then that another loud creak and a prolonged, pained moan vibrated through the hallway that you and Jin were in. You felt all the blood drain from your face and a shiver of fear ran straight through you like the ghost that was supposed to haunt these rooms.

Jin watched you in shock. Usually, he was every bit as scared as you seemed but something had possessed him and instead of fear, he was filled with worry and determination. He had a job to do and the quicker he cleared your side of the manor, the quicker he could get you out of the house.

“It’s probably nothing,” he assured you, “probably one of the guys trying to freak us out. Come on.”

The firmness in his voice surprised him. It didn’t waver. It was strong. Confident. A shiver went down your back completely unrelated to the coldness of the season.

He took a step over to the first door on his left but when he didn’t hear your booted steps behind him he stopped and looked over his shoulder. You hadn’t moved at all. He let his eyes rake your body but only for a second. And a second was all he needed. The way that your long legs were framed by the slightly too short skirt made his mind run wild with thoughts too unholy to entertain. Why had you worn something so inappropriate for such an occasion? Namjoon’s words came back to him then.

“She likes you.” He had said. Had he been right? Had you maybe worn the deceivingly tight shirt with- were you even wearing a bra? Jesus you mustn’t be with the way that your breasts were outlined so perfectly against the thin fabric of your turtle neck. He shook his head as blood began to collect in an unfavorable place. This wasn’t what you guys were there for.

With exasperation and a little bit of nerves running through his body, he reached out and grabbed your hand pulling you forward.

You stumbled but didn’t fall. His hand in yours made you feel less alone in the slightly darkened house. You could smell the dust in the air and something that smelled like… apples and musk.

Jin hesitated for only a second longer before he wrapped his long fingers around the brass knob. It was cold to the touch. Unlike your hand in his.

The room was dark and the last thing he wanted to do was throw you into the unknown. He felt around for a light switch. Instantly, the hum of machines filled your ears. An unappealing white light filled your field of vision, blinding you slightly.

Briefly, Jin’s hand tightened around yours as he ventured further into the room. As soon as you were in, the door that Jin had opened, slammed shut, hitting your ass and pushing you farther in.

“Ow! What the- did…did that just close on it’s own?” Without thinking, you clung onto Jin’s arm and hid behind his towering figure. Jin felt his stomach drop, though he wasn’t sure if it was because of you clinging to him, or the door.

Decisively, Jin took a step towards the door and tried to open it. Unsurprisingly, it was jammed. His heart sank. He was trapped in a room in a house that was supposedly haunted. This could not be worse. You could have been with Jungkook who had the muscles to protect you, or with Taehyung, who had no fear in the face of danger, or even with Namjoon, who always had a plan, but no… you were stuck with him and he felt guilty.

Would he be able to protect you if something really dangerous happened? Given, these expeditions didn’t usually turn truly dangerous but in the case it did, would he step up? Or would he fall into his old ways and leave you to fend for yourself?

“It must have been a draft or something… and the wood is probably swollen from age… It’s nothing,” he assured, though he wasn’t sure himself.

Jin turned back around to look at the rest of the room. What would Namjoon do? Scope out the room and find another way out. He was met with a larger than normal looking kitchen. The hum from the refrigerator seemed to drone on and on.

There was an oven and a stove. Some carts to wheel food, multiple counters covered in what looked like… fresh fruit?

Curious, Jin took a step forward. A loud crack of what seemed to be a speaker echoed in the room. Fear ran through Jin’s body and instinctively, he jumped behind you. He used your small body as a shield, his front pressed firmly to your back side.

Through the fabric of his pants, you could feel…something, lightly poking you. It was just a hint. The idea of something you hadn’t realized you might be able to have, to evoke in him. It was thrilling to say the least. Confusing at its core.

Oh.. unfortunate choice of words.

And suddenly, you weren’t exactly scared anymore. At least not for the same reason. What had Namjoon said to you earlier? That these places were usually not haunted but set up to seem so. What did you have to fear?

Only one thing. Rejection.

Subtly, you pushed your ass back into what you hoped was the beginning of a hard on. There was a road that led from hate straight to love and lust. If you could push just the right buttons, then maybe, your situation could change.

Jin was panicking. And for once, it wasn’t because he was the only one who thought that the house they were investigating was truly haunted. No, it was for something much less precedent.

You.

As soon as he had felt you shift ever so slightly against him and your round, plush…strong, ass grazed against his excited member he knew. He just knew he was screwed. Well… if he was lucky. Should he push? Should he pry…your legs apart…

Over your shoulder, he chanced an inquisitive glance down. He was met instantly with the curve and slope of your perfect breast. Through the fabric, once again he was forced to notice the peaking of what he imagined to be your nipples.

The outline of something textured was also present. Jin found his fingers twitching from your arms to try and touch it. But he couldn’t. Not without knowing that you wanted him to.

Again, as if you were reading his mind, you pressed your backside into his pelvis. Were you doing it on purpose? It almost felt like it could be an accident. He couldn’t tell.

Carefully, you took a step away from Jin. He let his grip on you fall as you walked with no intent present towards the table covered in food.

He could see a bowl full of something white and very near it what he assumed were strawberries. Perhaps, chocolate sauce. Honey? He wasn’t sure from his vantage point. With legs heavy as bricks, Jin walked closer to the same table. Your back was still to him and he was partially grateful for that since there was something else heavy between his thighs that was making it hard to move.

As he neared you, you listened. His footsteps echoed in the vast kitchen. Intent absent but curiosity present. You didn’t have a plan. Not something tangible. But you had felt it. The hope that blossomed between your back and his pelvis.

So without taking a second to consider what it was that you were doing. You bent yourself nearly in half and dipped a finger in what looked like caramel sauce. The breeze hit you almost instantly.

Jin watched in shock as your skirt rose up the short amount it could. But what was more of a shock, a surprise, was not that your skirt was pulled up over your ass or the fact that it was being so readily presented to him. No, it was instead the fact that your ass and lower was bare. A thin strip of fabric the same color of your turtle neck ran up your round cheeks, separating them slightly. The same fabric covered your core. A mark of wetness stained it.

As quietly as he could, he slapped his own cheek. Once, then twice, then once more for good measure but still you were bent in half and your skin was on display. For him. It had to be for him.

He watched as you dipped your finger into the runny substance nearest you. You hooked it. A glob of the substance clung to it, then oozed slowly down and back in the bowl. Jin watched, his mouth dry as your pink tongue darted out of your mouth and intercepted the substance.

A thick glob landed on it but you didn’t pull it into your lips. Instead, you let the liquid like substance drip down and onto your chin and progressively back into the bowl. It was a couple of seconds later that you finally pulled your tongue back where it should be and hummed delighted.

“You should taste this caramel Jin,” you said, your voice had lowered an octave and it did things to his now very hard member.

“Sh-,” he cleared his throat, “Shouldn’t you not eat that? I- I mean… it could be poisoned.”

You chuckled. Idiot. Why hadn’t that crossed your mind? Well… honestly if you were gonna die then you guessed deliciously was the best way to go. And with some good cock to be the cherry on top.

“Best poison I’ve ever tasted,” you joked, licking at your chin and your lips. Without hesitation, you dipped the same finger into the whipped cream in the bowl next to the strawberries.

You didn’t mess around. You put your whole finger in your mouth and suck it clean of any and all sugar.

You made a show of it. Tilting your head back and arching your spine in further presentation of your private area. You moaned around your finger.

“You’re crazy,” Jin said from behind you and you deflated slightly, feeling embarrassed. Shouldn’t he have jumped your bones by now? Ravaged you? Shouldn’t he have had some reaction aside from talking about what you were eating? For God’s sake, you were ass up and legs spread to him.

Shouldn’t he… have at least taken a step closer to you?

Slowly, and unsure of what the hell had gotten into you, you began to straighten. How could you have thought that this would work? Jin clearly didn’t like you. Namjoon had lied and whatever you had thought you had felt was all in your head.

But then there was a warm hand on your lower back. Fingers splayed and pushing to keep you arched. Pressed up. Another hand, ever so gently, and delicately, began to run up one of your thighs. It was a feather light touch. If you weren’t so present and sensitive you may not have even felt it. But then he was at your inner thigh, writing hangul into the skin.

“I didn’t say you should stop,” he whispered. His breath was warm on your shoulder. You were frozen. What did you do now?

“Do- would you like to try some?” You asked, almost like a waitress offering a house wine.

Jin didn’t know how to proceed. But he wasn’t going to let this opportunity pass him up.

“Hand me a strawberry,” he said and you did so quickly.

You picked the first one you saw right off the top and held it up for him. Instead of taking either hand off of you, he learned down and wrapped his plush lips around the tip and sucked the fruit into his mouth.

Red juice oozed out of the corner of his lips. You licked your own as his hand moved up slightly. His palm barely graced your exposed skin.

“Delicious,” he groaned, watching your mouth.

You weren’t even sure what he was talking about but boy did you want to find out.

“Want a taste?”

He didn’t wait for you to answer. Instead, he reached over your head, his hips pressed against the bareness of your butt and his chest touched over your shoulders. The warmth that radiated from his body made goosebumps break out in the places that weren’t touching him.

He plucked a particularly juicy strawberry from the cluster and twirled it in front of your face. Your mouth watered. You waited patiently as he seemed to be admiring the perfectness of the fruit before he dipped it into the whipped cream and brought it to your lips.

“Open,” he breathed by your ear. You let your jaw fall into a perfect ‘O’ as he brought it closer to you. Slowly, almost as if he were the one enjoying the flavor, he placed it on your tongue. You waited for him to speak. To tell you what to do. But when no command came, you closed your mouth and bit down.

A symphony of juices met your taste buds. The fruit was sweet and delectable. Tart but cut with the sugar of the whip.

Jin’s member throbbed in it’s restraints. The pure pleasure that was evident on the part of your face he could see was enchanting. Drops of strawberry juice dripped down his long finger and onto his wrist.

You didn’t wait for him to ask. You licked the delicious juice from his skin. The wet muscle picking up every last drop. Somehow, it tasted better from his hand than it would have from your own. Somehow you knew this.

Jin let out a muffled moan. If your tongue felt that good on his finger, he could only imagine how good it would feel elsewhere. All over him. Jin’s hand suddenly cupped your burning core. A gush of your own juices flowed out of you at the contact.

“You know,” Jin said as you continued to suck at his fingers greedily, “ these strawberries are delectable but… I have the feeling that they’re nowhere nearly as sweet as you?”

It was a question. He was asking you if he could have a taste. Of you. Of the juices that came from within you. How could you refuse?

Slowly, you nodded your consent. Without skipping a beat, his fingers pressed softly into your mounds and he pulled himself off of you.

You felt him squat behind you. His face now level with your center. You heard him gasp. His hand fell away. You felt self-conscious but you held yourself how you were. The taste of the fruit was still present on your tongue.

“No underwear?”

You swallowed the lump of embarrassment in your throat before you spoke, “No-not really. The shirt had a b-built in set-” A kiss on your thigh stopped your explanation.

Jin looked at your slits with the eyes of hunger. He had never felt more ravenous in his whole life. He had a feeling he could never get his fill.

A glint of silver caught his eye. Clips, where the shirt was held together at your core. With trembling hands, he hooked a finger under it and pulled it away from your skin. Already, his finger was coated in your slick. Excitement coursed through him, but he had to be patient.

He pulled at the clips and they came apart easily. A gust of cool air hit your slick slits and you couldn’t help but moan.

Jin let out an impressed whistle. He licked his thick lips. But first…

“Can you pull your shirt up?” he asked you. He held himself at bay even when your arousal hit his nose. His mouth was watering. Saliva pooled on his tongue.

You did what he asked, pulling the shirt out of the skirt and up over your breasts exposing your completely transparent bralette. From where he was sitting, he could vaguely make out the swell of your breast and the peak of your nipple, as pert and perfect as the strawberry that he had picked up earlier.

Finally satisfied, he shuffled a little closed to your center and took a deep breath. Shiver ran down your legs and your spine. Jin didn’t know where to start. Every angle of you looked delectable. Like a full course meal. Did he start with the potatoes or the beef? Did he skip and go straight for the desert?

He decided that he wanted to better see what was being offered to him. So carefully, he pulled your lower lips apart. Thick strands of slick webbed your labia together. Instantly, like the sauce from earlier, it began to drip from the quantity and weight of it.

Jin’s eyes widened. More was dripping out of your entrance, like a fountain. Still he held back, feeling the need to check on you one last time and ask for a final favor before he began his meal.

“If it’s okay with you, I don’t like to eat alone. I would like it if you ate with me.”

You weren’t sure exactly what he meant. But you were eager to please. So you nodded and did the only logical thing you could think of. You picked up another one of the strawberries and held it up for him to see. When you felt him pat your leg in confirmation, you put the fruit in your mouth.

Jin, feeling like he finally had the go ahead, leaned in. His mouth hung open, his tongue poking over his bottom lip. He shut his eyes, intent on enjoying what was sure to be his favorite new meal.

His tongue lightly but not limply slotted between your slits and you felt your whole body convulse. You choked on the fruit in your mouth. You coughed and sputtered but Jin didn’t feel phased.

The very tip of his tongue was grazing your clit. It was torturous. The lack of movement. You wanted more. You need him to give you more.

Then as if he had heard your thoughts, hit wet muscles suddenly moved up to your hole. It prodded at it before he suctioned his lips to the circumference and drank your essence.

You moaned through another mouthful of strawberry. It made a wave of pleasure run over Jin’s body. He groaned into your body. Sucking and pushing his tongue into your core. He fucked it into your heat as deep as he could make it go.

You sucked at the strawberry in your hand, scared to take another bite but too into what he asked to stop all together.

“Fuck, Jin I-”

He pulled away with a wet pop of his lips. You could hear him smack his lips, then he sighed happily.

“Don’t tempt me with that mouth Jagiya,” you said pressing a kiss to your pulsing clit. You shivered as he rubbed his lips over it. Shock after shock of elation ran into your stomach. You were close. You were so close. The cold of the room and the heat of your arousal contrasted so well. A heap of sensations that you didn’t realize you liked all added up to something that made your legs weak at the knees.

Maybe it was because Jin was the one between your legs. You weren’t sure.

He began to kitten lick at your bud. Your knees began to cave but you held yourself up with your arms. It was too good. Too much.

“Jin, please I’m going to…ah.. I’m gonna-”

But he didn’t answer. He only continued his ministrations. Licking harder, slower. Moaning against your bundle of nerves. With every hard lick came a wave of heat that coiled into what you knew would be a hard orgasm.

“Don’t stop… please,” you begged. And he didn’t. Delicious. His tongue was the definition of heaven and all things good.

He let go of your lower lips and held your thighs up to his mouth. You were on the edge. Your blood pulsed at the speed of light between your legs. Then, the coil snapped and you saw white. Your body pulsed, your mouth dropped and your whole body tensed.

You moaned Jin’s name not thinking about your volume. Not caring either. He kept going, not caring that you seemed done.

You were too delicious. Too sweet to let go. Like honey or butter scotch. God, he could eat you out all night long. He could live happily between your legs. He wanted to. He would love to be attached to you this way. God what a wonderful gift to be able to taste you like he was doing that instant. He let up on your clit but had no intentions of pulling away. He drank up your cum like it was the first sip of water he had ever had. Your entrance clenched as he dipped his tongue in and moaned and groaned and ate like the king he was.

Gluttony was a sin. But he’d be damned to give this up.

Suddenly, you both heard footsteps from outside the door. Jin froze, his lips again stuck to your entrance. Your body was weak and overstimulated. Neither of you dared to make any noise.

The familiar voices of the guys could be heard but they were muffled through the wall. You expected Jin to pull away from you but were surprised when he went right back to his suckling.

“Jin, “ you whined, pulling yourself away, but he followed, slurping noisily and moaning against you.

“Seokjin,” you said again, hoping he would stop but it was like he was deaf.

“I’m sure they came this way,” you heard what you thought was the voice of Hoseok from outside.

“It was a bad idea to give them this section,” a voice that sounded a lot like Jimin said, “If I remember correctly, I think the kitchen is right over here.”

Again, Jin moaned from between your legs. A new orgasm was begging to build at your core. Coming much faster and stronger. You bit your lip to try and keep your gasps of pleasure at bay.

He reached up with a single finger and began to rub tight circles on your clit. You couldn’t help the scream that escaped you.

The footsteps outside the room stopped. You could almost hear the confusion and fear from the other side.

“Did you hear that,” What sounded like Jungkook asked.

“Y-yeah,” someone else, possibly Taehyung answered.

“Did that sound like-”

“That sounded like-”

And then Jjangu barked at the door and you knew. You just knew that you were screwed.

Then it hit you. An orgasm so strong it felt like an explosion. Like Dynamite. You moaned loudly, not being able to stop. The barking got louder and there were knocks at the door. Screams of your name and Jin’s but, he was much faster than you anticipated. He pulled his mouth from your core and flipped your around. He connected his messy lips with yours and pulled your shirt over your perfect chest.

When the door opened, he didn’t stop. His body covered yours. And you didn’t see their reaction but it must have been priceless because all you heard were shocked gasps from your group of friends, then the slam of a door.

You guessed Namjoon was right.

Master list

#kim seokjin #jin #bts jin #jin smut #Jin fluff #jin angst #jin crack #dynamite #bts #bts yoongi #bts fanfic #bts namjoon #bts hoseok #bts jimin #bts taehyung #bts jungkook #bts pets #bts smut

68 notes · View notes

imanes · 5 years ago

Note

i would genuinely like to hear your thoughts about jenny sl*te

i don’t have a lot of thoughts about her as a person besides the fact that when character limit doesn’t force her into being concise, she’ll fall into the trap of self-satisfied whimsical egocentric rambles that don’t make any sense. her tweets were cute when i used to see them pop here and there but let’s just say that i do not vibe with the energy displayed in her book. i thought i was getting a memoir but i got a collection of weird essays with run-on sentences that screamed “look i’m the quirky girl! i am so quirky! look at me i’ll use words like boinks and zoinks and i’ll talk about my singing pussy and the rabbit that i french kissed!” and it looks like a gross caricature but i’m taking these words out of her book ajfjdlgj anyways hate this book zero out of ten would not recommend unless you want to read the strange ramblings of someone who thinks in circles that never stray too far from their own ass.

#i gave it two stars on goodreads but i was being nice #in 2020 i'm not lying anymore i don't like stuff and i'm gonna say it like it is!#thanks for coming to my hate talk (ted talk for haters)#Anonymous

20 notes · View notes

florenceathanas · 5 years ago

Text

dhtask iii.

“ a study in identity and illusion. ”

-----------------------------------------------------------------

triggers: domestic abuse, implied child abuse, misogyny

march 14th, 2019: 4:00 PM

he realized it was his birthday.

he realized he could barely remember his birth name.

he realized he didn’t miss it.

march 14th, 1999: 4:00 PM

'zoinks! the mystery machine is on the way join us at [redacted]’s birthday! (sunday march 14th 3:00 PM kidzania RSVP by march 8th to [redacted]’

it was the one day of the year that they spent more than £7 on him. it was the one day of the year that his dad could convince his mom to let him wear his favorite pink shirt ( polo, his dad gave it to him on his fifth birthday – it barely fit anymore, but he liked it all the same ). it was the one day of the year that all of the kids he knew pretended they knew him.

it was his favorite day of the year.

and it was time for presents.

angelique had wrapped her present to him in yellow polka dots. birthday bear was inside.

he liked the care bears. his mom didn’t.

monica had wrapped her present to him in pink. a plush unicorn was inside.

he liked unicorns. his mom didn’t.

neely had wrapped her present to him in yellow and purple stripes. a new plum shirt was inside.

he liked plum. his mom didn’t.

bruce had wrapped his present to him in a truck pattern. a play truck was inside.

he didn’t like trucks. his mom did.

benjamin had wrapped his present to him in white and red. a basketball was inside.

he didn’t like basketball. his mom did.

sergio had wrapped his present to him in blue. hot wheels were inside.

he didn’t like hot wheels. his mom did.

march 14th, 1999: 6:00 PM

at home with the presents angelique, monica, and neely had given him tucked safely away in the garbage, his dad held out a scooby-doo patterned box. there was no wrapping paper.

a garfield chia pet and another pink shirt were inside.

“ i had my eye on this, ah, this really nice beginner gardening set, ” he began with a smile in spite of the sadness in his eyes. “ but there’s not a lotta good places to garden around here. ” and that was true. but his eyes also drifted upwards to [redacted]’s mom, standing above the both of them. then his eyes looked to the hole in the wall. then back to his beaming son.

“ yeah, yeah. here, ” she said, no preamble. the box was adorned in trucks.

another play truck and a shirt that said ‘lady’s man’ were inside.

“ i spent a lot of money on those. i expect you to play with them and wear that. ”

the room filled up with sadness. dad was sad that he couldn’t bring himself to step in. mom was sad that dad was encouraging this behavior. son was sad that his parents were sad. son was sad that his favorite toys would be taken away.

march 14th, 1999: 8:00 PM

the walls were paper thin, the reason they’d gotten so many noise complaints over the years. and there was a hole. he always saw it as heart-shaped. his mother had done it out of love.

through the hole, and through those thin walls, he could hear them arguing. the garbage disposal was running. he knew his unicorn plush had been cut up and fed to it.

but he was allowed to keep his care bear. that made him happy.

“ stop encouraging this fucking behavior ! ” “ he’s a kid, jas. let him do what he wants to do. ” “ he’s gonna get himself beat. ” “ by you. ” SLAP ! “ don’t you disrespect me like that. who’s the one paying for this shit, hm ? i haven’t ever seen you signing a check for this shithole, lazy ass. get a better fucking job, then we’ll – ” “ you know i’ve tried, but my leg – ” SLAP ! “ oh, i’m so sorry your leg hurts. oh, i’m so sorry you can’t do anything ‘cause you got a little fucking scrape – man the hell up. no wonder he’s such a damn pansy. ” “ you know that my leg – ” SLAP ! “ you get a better job. you be a better father, a better fucking role model. then we can talk. ”

march 14th, 2002: 3:00 PM

his first birthday at the house. his first birthday as ‘florence.’ and he was happy. he got that beginner gardening set that his dad had wanted to get him. he also got a betty spaghetty. he also got another care bear. he wanted to pretend he was too old for a betty spaghetty and a care bear, but he loved them.

but he missed his dad. his Father wasn’t really the same.

and he remembered seeing his dad’s sad smile as he was escorted out. he looked at the heart-shaped hole. and then he looked back at [redacted], now florence. and he made a heart with his hands. and he mouthed ‘i love you. goodbye.’ and the last words he heard were from his mother. and she said: “ this is the kind of bullshit that happens when you- ” and then he couldn’t hear the end of her sentence.

he wore his favorite pink shirt. it was almost like a crop top now.

“ florence, make a wish ! ”

but he didn’t know what to wish for. so he didn’t. he just blew out the candles.

#dhtask #sp #so fun fact: i watched a bunch of home videos w my dad yesterday for father's day #and half of the gifts in these were presents that me and/or my sister either got for birthdays or christmases #''HAIRBANDS!'' - my sister @ age 7 #we don't proofread we die like men.#( queue ! )

5 notes · View notes

mainly-kpop · 6 years ago

Text

Viagra Series

Namjoon ft Yoongi

Word count: 1768

Warnings: smut obviously, pill taking, daddy kink, sharing, phone sex?

Waking up abruptly to have something to eat seems like an easy enough task. Unless you're namjoon, who is trying to keep every ounce of sleep he has left in his body. If only he had picked the correct cupboard.

He rolled out of bed early that morning, or late that night, he didn’t want to know. All he knew is he should be asleep right now, the soft snores to his left solidifying the idea in his head. If his brain could connect with his stomach for once in it’s life, maybe he wouldn’t wake up at god knows what time for fucking snacks.

He trudged himself to the kitchen, pulling open the cupboard. Picking out a random box he opened it up feeling it before shrugging. Realistically he should just open his eyes, look at what the hell he had in his hands before throwing it into his mouth. However, he was aware M&Ms had new packaging, so who was he to question snack wrappers these days? Popping one into his mouth he crunched down, grimacing at the taste. Not M&Ms, definitely not. He poured a glass of water, chugging it to rid the taste, that almost tasted like-.

‘Joonie, what are you doing in the medicine cabinet?’ She questioned tiredly, rubbing her eyes, god she was so adorable. Wait medicine cabinet?! He opened his eyes fully, looking at the packet in question. No, oh dear lord, no.

‘I thought it tasted a bit strange. Zoinks scoob, that’s problematic.’ She frowned confused, what the ever loving god?

‘Zoinks scoob? Problematic? Are you high? What did you take?’ She walked over to the counter, looking at the packet, the writing in full white block letters. She snickered looking at the man beside her, blush over his cheeks. She looked down at his pants, seeing the growing bulge.

‘Huh, it really is fast acting look at that.’ She spoke impressed, the more you know.

‘Oh baby, looks like we are in for a long night.’ He growled, picking her up from her waist carrying her back to bed, she squealed smacking his hands so he would put her down.

‘Joonie! It’s early morning, you can’t do this I have plans today! With viagra in your system, I’ll never make it!’ He stood still for a moment, grip not easing on her, she puffed out air crossing her arms.

‘Then cancel your plans, it’s gonna be a good morning.’ He spoke smugly, running the rest of the way to their bedroom, god save the neighbor’s.

She couldn’t believe he was doing this, it’s 5 A.M for god sake! He wiggled off her PJ bottoms before wiggling his trousers off also.

‘Wow, wow, wow, you aren’t just going straight in right?’ She stopped him, hand pressed to his chest. He put his hand over his heart, a hurt hiss slipping through his teeth.

‘What do you think I am? An animal?!’ She rolled her eyes, a sigh coming out her mouth. He slipped down to his knees, bringing her body closer to the edge of the bed. Stroking his hands up and down her thighs, he spread them apart effortlessly, the cold air hitting her core. She wasn’t all that aroused before, she had only just opened her eyes for god sake. However, now with him between her legs, eyes animalistic and full of want. She could feel herself getting wet, her little bud getting hard, a soft whimper struggling to be held back.

‘Baby, look at the state of you, and I’ll I did was get on my knees. Such a little whore for me.’ He growled, trailing his middle finger through the wetness that already pooled between her legs.

‘I’ll always be your little whore daddy, tease me like the bad girl I am.’ He was taken back for a minute, she never behaved like this, asking to be punished. To be honest, it was a new side of her he could get used to.

‘You want to be punished huh? Tell me all the naughty things you’ve done baby, make it worth my while.’ He whispered, a lustful rumble to his words. His finger dipping inside her every so often, then pulling out like it never happened.

‘I’ve been such a naughty whore daddy. I touched myself yesterday, I didn’t even send you a video. I thought of you, your name slipping from my lips as I came, but I didn’t want you to see it. It was for me.’ She teased him, his jaw clenching at this fact. He loved knowing she was getting herself off, whether he knew about it before, during or after. He loved knowing her fingers were deep inside herself, vibrator pressed to her clit.

‘What did you do baby, show daddy.’ She whimpered as he pulled his hand away, slowly replacing it with her own. It wasn’t unusual for Namjoon to request she pleasure herself, he loved watching her fall apart whether it was his doing or not. That was probably why he was happy with threesome, no matter the participant. Sometimes he would sit off to the side, watch her get fucked by one of his friends. The noises that spilled from her mouth. None of this phased him because he knew, no matter what she would always need him. Need his dick, his words, his fingers, mouth, everything about him drove her wild and he knew this. No matter how good his friends were. He was better.

He watched her slip her fingers gently inside of herself, moving them around until her back arched, finding the spot inside herself.

‘What else baby, how else have you been a naughty girl?’ He questioned, she whimpered, suppressing it by biting down on her lip.

‘I was thinking about Yoongi again yesterday, god his dick was so good. Daddy, I got wet thinking about him, I want him again so bad.’ She whimpered, feeling like she was pushing herself over the edge. Before she could reach her climax, Namjoon pulled her fingers out of her, dark eyes focused on her.

‘That is naughty, very naughty. Those thoughts are not something daddy likes to hear.’ He spoke stretching his neck standing over her body. He held out his hand, pulling her to her feet, bodies flushed together.

‘On your knees princess, show me how sorry you are.’ She dropped to her knees quickly, and obediently. He smirked, the control he had over her making his dick twitch. She wrapped her lips instantly around the tip, knowing teasing him was only going to get her more punishments. He groaned, the feeling of her warm lips wrapped delicately around his dick. His head rolling back as he wrapped a hand around her hair, pushing her further and further down. She gagged lightly, tears stinging the corners of her eyes, but he just praised her.

‘I’m going to start now baby, if it gets too much show me what you’re going to do.’ He commanded. She responded by tapping his thigh two times before he smiled, praising her again. He pulled himself out her mouth, head resting on the tip of her tongue. Relaxing her throat and letting her jaw go slack, she sucked in a deep breath readying herself for what was to come. Slowly he eased himself back in, tip hitting the back of her throat, she swallowed around him puppy dog eyes locked with his. He began thrusting shallowly into her throat, pulling out the littlest bit before shoving straight into her throat. Drool dripped down her chin, trailing down her throat, soaking the little shirt she had on. Namjoon growled, feeling himself getting close. The look on her face, the tears falling from her eyes. The drool dripping down her chin, landing on the shirt making her hard nipples even more visible. Pulling himself out of her mouth, she gasped for air, sucking in whatever she could. He got on his knees cradling her face in his hands, wiping the drool from her chin.

‘So good baby, you did so well. On the bed, daddy isn’t done with you yet.’ As she crawled up the bed, he grabbed his phone punching in his pin and searching something.

‘Daddy what are you doing?’ She whispered, already having a slight incline to what he was doing. The phone rang on speaker for a moment before she heard a voice through the device.

‘Do you know what the fucking time is?!’ He screamed through the mic, causing Namjoon to lightly laugh. He crawled over the bed, putting the phone down beside her head.

‘You’re going to wanna be up for this Yoongi. Baby? On all fours, why don’t you tell him how much you miss him while I fuck you raw.’ She wasted no time, crawling onto her knees, putting herself face down on the pillow. He slid himself in with ease, stopping momentarily as she moaned right into the phone. Yoongi letting a string of curse words filter through the device, she whimpered in embarrassment and arousal. Knowing he could hear her, what she had to say to him, it was so hot.

‘Yoongi, I’m such a naughty girl. I miss your dick so much I- FUCK.’ She screamed, Namjoon slamming into her hard, over and over. Words failing her both the boys egged her on, wanting to hear more.

‘Keep going baby, tell him what you want.’ Namjoon said, breathing heavy. Yoongi joining in next, begging her for more.

‘Come on princess, keep going, I’m so close.’ He moaned, the clear evidence of him getting himself off. She whimpered, feeling herself hurdling past the point of no return. Feeling Namjoon’s hips stuttering, hearing Yoongi’s moans turn to whimpers.

‘Yoongi I want you to fuck me while daddy watches, I want you to fuck me so hard I can’t remember anything but your name. FUCK, Yoongi, daddy, please.’ She sobbed, body collapsing onto the bed, the power of her orgasm making her knees and arms weak. A breathy yet deep moan sounded through the phone, a sure sign that he came at the same time. Namjoon followed closely behind, fingertips digging into the swell of her ass.

‘Anyway…’ Namjoon spoke after everyone gathered their breath back. ‘I’m sure we can arrange something soon, right Yoongi?’ He questioned, leaving butterfly kisses along her back and shoulder.

‘For you two? I’m free whenever you want me.’ He whispered, leaving a tired and excited smile on her face. As the phone call ends, she hangs it up giggling.

‘Such a naughty girl, bet that made you want round two, no?’ He questioned, pouncing on her, she squealed in shock.

‘SHUT THE FUCK UP IT’S SIX AM YOU PIGS!!’ Came a scream and a thump from next door, they both looked at each other in horror, giggling embarrassed.

#bts #bangtan #bts one shot #requests open #bts smut #bts fluff #bts imagine #bts reactions #bts namjoon #kim namjoon #namjoon x reader

288 notes · View notes

stevecanmakeanythingnerdy · 5 years ago

Text

Battle #9

Fotomaker : Vis-A-Vis ( Side Two )

Vs.

Rhythm Collision : Now! ( Side One )

Fotomaker : Vis-A-Vis ( Side Two )

Fotomaker was a power pop group from Long Island, NY which released three albums between 1978 and 1979. They made three albums within the span of a little over a year, the third of which is considered the weakest of the three. They failed to achieve any success, mostly due to lack of record company promotion. So why, then, was a poorly producing band able to survive label scrutiny so long (labels are notoriously cut throat to their artists who don’t sell the right number of units)? Well, probably because of the credentials. The band was formed in 1977 by bassist Gene Cornish and drummer Dino Danelli, former members of The Rascals. Rounding out the group was guitarist/vocalist Wally Bryson, formerly of Raspberries and guitarist/vocalist Lex Marchesi and keyboardist/vocalist Frankie Vinci. Although Marchesi and Vinci were relatively unknown, they were undoubtedly the core talent that drove the band with their versatile songwriting and vocal skills. Their first album was classic power pop material straight out of the late 70s scene. By the third album, they were all out disco...This, however, is their second album. The band began a steady decline with this one. The first song on Side two is “If I Can’t Believe In You”. It starts out well intentioned with a piano like ballad/lite rock feel. Breezy and easy but pays off in no way. Very forgettable IMO. “Come Back” is a better build in design. The progression is more mature and legitimate. It might be one of the better laid out blueprints of the whole bunch. “Two Way Streetlight” follows and is another easy, laid back smoothie. Not quite to yacht rock level, but pretty darn close. I mean I don’t see Kenny Loggins footloose-ing all over this track, but he’s probably lurking nearby if I had to guess. Diet rock for sure. It might pair well on a dentist office mix with James Taylor. “Sweet Lies” finally seems to be a track with some balls! This is more like their debut. A nice bluesy riff with a solo and good energy. “Make It Look Like An Accident” is a great song title, but lacks a little on the back end. It’s an almost...slow dance...Country song...question mark?? Yikes. The thing of it is, the band IS talented. And their credentials don’t lie, they have the chops. They just didn’t deliver on this one. The album is well produced and (perhaps unintentionally) it does manage to read like a family photo album...or should I say FOTO album (#seewhatididthere). It’s all over the place though with it’s different phases of life. Perhaps that was already the label hedging their bets and scrambling to get a “hit” out there.

Rhythm Collision : Now! ( Side One )

Rhythm Collision was a 3-piece punk rock band from California. Agoura if I am remembering correctly. Their albums have an unofficial theme, usually depicting a cartoony iconic angry girl smashing or punching things. An early release chronicles “the girl with the purple hair” which I believe is the reference being made. Dr. Strange Records is the band’s early home. DSR is a record label and record store located in Alta Loma, California. It started out as an apartment-based distro in 1988 and became a record label in 1989, run out of the "Doc's" apartment until 1997, when the store was first opened. Early on the label had a reputation for quality punk rock records with a varied and diverse roster. Bands like Sinkhole, Face To Face, Voodoo Glowskulls, Zoinks!, Gameface, Guttermouth, and The Bollweevils (a Chicago legend) called the label home so they didn’t exactly put out bad records. Rhythm Collision was right at home with their blistering, sometimes breakneck speed brand of pop punk meets So-Cal skate punk. Effectively, RC brought some complexity to theme early pop punk scene and helped create a melodic element that later contemporaries would adopt and reshape. Now is their sophomore album from 1993. It starts with the blitzing “Burning Bridges” with it’s fast, punky attitude and yell singing vocal style. Harlan has just the right amount of snot and grit without being too over the top (a very early 90s style. Impressive and meaty bass and drum fills complete the blanks. “Potential” is the next track. A little slower but bouncy. This is the first band I ever saw do work shirts (an Uber 90s trend) as merchandise. I thought it was a pretty cool idea, but by 1995 every band was doing it and it seemed lame. “Irrepressible” is next. It’s and odd word to try and fit into the cadence of a punk song, but RC did it! This one is mega fast! I was very impressed back in the day at the percussion speed. High energy and I love the leads. “Fade” gives you a sugary blast of mid tempo melodies and power, while “Happy” may be the most diverse sounding jam on here. Fast and slow with a meandering bass line. This kind of talent is exactly why I listen to punk and like listening to records. It just contributes to the feeling the music engages. Rhythm Collision certainly treads the line between alternative and punk but in the best ways and intentions. Technically it is a split release between Dr. Strange and their own Collision records. The band loves purple and it shows on this release, purple marble swirl. I used to super love this band so much that I interviewed them for my music fanzine and somehow got myself invited to a Chicago scene-ster house party in which they were the band playing. There were exclusive tee shirts and everything and the faux band Lampshadehead was born. Lots of drunkenness (not by me, I was straightedge at the time) and I remember feeling pretty lame and out of place about it all. The band was great but it was pretty much the moment I realized that even so called punks can be lame ass mo-fos too. (Not the band, the other attendees). I don’t even think I wore the shirt even once, but I still have it somewhere.

Today, Fotomaker dusted off their camera obscura vis-a-vis some music. They played 5 songs over 22 minutes and 135 calories. They burned 27 calories per song and 6.14 calories per minute. They also earned 8 out of 15 possible stars. Rhythm Collision made the decision to play precision power pop punk...and they did it...Now! They burned 113 calories over 5 songs and 17 minutes. They averaged 22.60 calories burned per song and 6.65 calories burned per minute. They earned a whopping 14 out of 15 possible stars. Rhythm Collision wins today’s challenge!

Rhythm Collision : “Irrepressible”

https://youtu.be/wS4L1ltRaCo

#Randomrecordworkoutseasonseven

#Randomrecordworkout

#randomrecordworkout #randomrecordworkoutseason7 #fotomaker #rhythm collision #socal punk #80s #80s music #vinyl #80's music #records #90s #90s music #pop punk #workout

1 note · View note

crusherthedoctor · 6 years ago

Text

Sonic Villains: Sweet or Shite? - Part 11: THE MONSTERS OF THE WEEK

There are some villains I like. And there are some villains I don’t like. But why do I feel about them the way I do? That’s where this comes in.

This is a series of mine in which I go into slightly more detail about my thoughts on the villains in the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise, and why I think they either work well, or fall flat (or somewhere in-between). I’ll be giving my stance on their designs, their personalities, and what they had to show for themselves in the game(s) they featured in. Keep in mind that these are just my own personal thoughts. Whether you agree or disagree, feel free to share your own thoughts and opinions! I don’t bite. :>

Anyhow, for today’s installment, we’ll be cancelling our flight to Tokyo as we look up at the impressive size of a particular recurring brand of foe in Sonic's universe: the Monsters of the Week. (Excluding Chaos, who we've already covered.)

So for reasons that should be obvious, this edition of Sweet or Shite is going to be a little different. Seeing how we’re covering more than one villain - and since you can only say so much about characters who aren’t really characters - this will instead be a series of mini-reviews, one after another, for each monster. I figured this was the best course of action since the alternative would be to go back and forth constantly between the monsters, and that would just be messy.

Also, none of these guys have much in the way of personality aside from “DESTROY FUCKING EVERYTHING GRRRRRRR”, so I’m not even going to bother analysing their “personalities”. Everything else will be the same as usual, of course.

And yes, I’m treating Iblis and Solaris as individual monsters. Because they barely have anything in common despite being the same beast.

Right then, we’ve got a lot of these king-size bastards to cover. Let’s go.

------

MONSTER #1: THE BIOLIZARD

The Gist: In the endgame for Sonic Adventure 2, the late Professor Gerald Robotnik was revealed to have programmed his Space Colony A.R.K. to crash down to the planet and destroy it should the Eclipse Cannon be equipped with all seven Chaos Emeralds. The heroes and villains teamed up to combat this threat (thus completely negating the game's Hero VS Dark selling point), and together, they made their way to the cannon's core.

What they didn't expect however was for their target to be guarded. In order to stop the A.R.K. from falling, they were forced to deal with the Biolizard, Gerald's original attempt at creating the Ultimate Lifeform before he decided to take a page from the Sonic OC booklet with his second attempt, Shadow. Thanks to seeing the error of his ways courtesy of one Amy Rose, Shadow himself confronted his older sibling, and Knuckles used the Master Emerald to cancel out the power of the Chaos Emeralds, thus preventing the A.R.K's collision...

Just kidding. As if to laugh at the very idea of Knuckles actually having a useful role in this game beyond treasure hunting fodder, the Biolizard immediately used Chaos Control to assume direct control of the A.R.K. in order to continue its collision course. Sonic and Shadow had no choice but to go Super, and with their powers combined, the Biolizard was beaten for good, the A.R.K. was stopped once and for all, and Shadow died but not really.

Sonic and Shadow were hailed as heroes. Even though everyone else contributed too. But apparently, only the heroes with super forms are allowed to be on the President's desk.

The Design: The Biolizard is a failed prototype, and it shows.

He's gonna sweep them bitches off their feet with a face like that.

Surprisingly, I actually dig his design. It's a bit messy, sure, but that works to his benefit in this case, since as a failed creation who demands a life support system just to function, it's justified within the context. It's a cool mesh of organic and technology, and it perfectly demonstrates the horrors that can come with trying to play God and creating life.

Unfortunately, his final form is underwhelming. He "fuses" with the A.R.K, but don't get your hopes up. It's the same design as before, only... well...

Yeah. It's just... right up there. All the way through.

The Execution: The Biolizard technically doesn't come out of nowhere, since there's a Dark Story cutscene that foreshadows his existence. But he still feels very WTF in spite of that. This adventure involving G.U.N, Dr. Eggman, and a feud between two hedgehogs, and this thing is the final challenge? It doesn't help that despite the relation, he feels very disconnected to Shadow's story when compared to Gerald, Maria, etc. (And yet ironically, he's the most interesting part IMO.)

So in regards to proper build up for a final boss, he's a bit shit. But since I like his design, and since his theme music is kickass, I'll give him a little step up. Just a little one.

Crusher Gives the Biolizard a: Thumbs Sideways!

------

MONSTER #2: IBLIS

The Gist: In the future, everything was a shitehole. This was due to a terrible beast known as Fire Chaos Iblis, who spread his penchant for destruction everywhere he went, leaving behind nothing but ruins in the process. A young hedgehog named Silver, and his friend named Blaze, have fought him for a very long time at the expense of Blaze's actual backstory, but nothing they could do kept Iblis down for long. Desperate to save their world, they followed the advice of comic relief character Mephiles the Dark, which was to find the so-called Iblis Trigger of the past via time travel, and destroy him. That Iblis Trigger was none other than Sonic the Hedgehog himself.

Except not. Turns out the guy with no mouth and snake eyes named after Mephistopheles wasn't all that trustworthy, and was using Silver for his own purposes. Undaunted, Silver continued to do a bunch of things that meant little-to-nothing, before finally defeating Iblis for definite because... he was stronger this time, I guess?

But Zoinks, Scoob! He couldn't seal Iblis away! Luckily and unluckily for him, Blaze was able to do so, and with a few emotional parting words, she vanished from Silver's time to get ready for a better game stop the threat of Iblis. That's not the end of Iblis' story however, because as it turns out, he's only part of something even more destructive... Also, Silver and Blaze didn't achieve anything anyway since Mephiles unleashed Iblis in the present time after killing Sonic.

Lol.

The Design: Get ready for a trilogy of fatigue.

You have Phase 1, which is just a clump of lava with some arms:

Good at mix tapes though.

Phase 2 is a replica of his Iblis Worm minions, but bigger. That's it.

Even he looks tired.

And for Phase 3, he finally realises he should probably try to look more worthy of a main baddie, but it still falls flat due to his ridiculous anchor feet:

"~Lava bone's connected to the fire bone~"

On the whole? Wank.

The Execution: He's from Sonic '06. What do you think?

Outside of being a lame version of Chaos, what else is there to say?

Crusher Gives Iblis a: Thumbs Down!

------

MONSTER #3: SOLARIS

The Gist: Remember Iblis? The guy I just talked about? Well he wasn't brought into existence as Iblis, but rather Solaris, the flame of hope. A time-dwelling entity of sorts, the kingdom of Soleanna had worshipped him for as long as they've lived, for reasons that can best be described as "fuck knows". In particular, Soleanna's ruler, the Duke, was devoted to harnessing the power of Solaris for the sake of being able to control time itself, and thus bring his wife back from the dead.

Sure enough, he joined her once more... by ironically getting himself killed in an accident during one of his experiments on Solaris, which also happened to split the entity into two different beings: the raw power named Iblis, and the subconscious named Mephiles the Dark. Before he died however, the Duke made the brave and heroic sacrifice of sealing Iblis - the fiery demon of death - within his own daughter, with the added deal of her never being able to cry unless that demon gets free, because who cares, she was adopted anyway.

She's guaranteed to be a strong queen if she can withstand a lifetime's worth of severe heartburn.

Anyway, the Duke got a Game Over, Silver the Hedgehog left a Chaos Emerald in his daughter's presence at the expense of the overall Sonic the Hedgehog continuity, and that was that. Ten years later, Sonic and Eggman had a tussle in Soleanna that I'm not even going to bother talking about because it's that unimportant, and eventually the aforementioned Mephiles gives Sonic a Game Over, causing Princess Elise to cry and thus release Iblis. Mephiles, the shadowy hedgehog, then uses the Chaos Emeralds to rejoin with Iblis, the fire lizard, to become Solaris, the bird made of light... Okay then.

Solaris threatens to consume all of time and space, but before he can do that, his decision to throw the Chaos Emeralds away like disused wrappers comes back to bite him in the ass, because through his friends' wise decision to collect them all, Sonic is brought back to life, and in his super form at that. Together, with Super Shadow and Super Silver, they kick Solaris' shit in, until it reverts to its original form of a tiny flame, and after some hesitance born from the sorrow of losing her biggest friendship, Elise ultimately makes the right decision and blows out the flame, thus creating a new future where Solaris - and the events of Sonic the Hedgehog 2006 in general - never happened.

Does that mean the Duke is alive? What does Soleanna worship now that Solaris never existed? Who knows, who cares, I'm already getting bored talking about these guys.

The Design: Unlike with Iblis, I actually like Solaris' forms, since there's an attempt to give them some elegance rather than just making them generically ugly. Even if Phase 1 looks as though he's got a steering wheel on his back...

Literally at the helm.

And Phase 2 looks like it could be desecrated by the Dark Lord Ganondorf at any moment...

"Who wants a hug?"

But overall? I like them.

The Execution: It's still '06, so his chances aren't looking good. I WOULD give Solaris some leeway since like with the Biolizard, I like his designs and his music (though I'm that weird guy who prefers Phase 1's music)...

Buuuuuut he's still the endgame of an absolutely shitty and plothole-infested narrative. And he's technically Mephiles, so...

Crusher Gives Solaris a: Thumbs Down!

------

MONSTER #4: IFRIT

The Gist: Iblis got its own ripoff.

That ripoff's name was Ifrit.

It was in Sonic Rivals 2.

Eggman Nega sought to unleash it.

And it liked to feed on Chao, allegedly.

......

So anyway, how's your sex life?

The Design: Despite being the younger sibling, it's design is arguably better than that of Iblis. It's still nothing amazing mind you, but it's got a Firebird thing going on, so that alone makes it more pleasing to look at than any of Iblis' forms. And if it were in a fully 3D game rather than on the PSP, it would probably look a lot better with its visuals too.

Ifrit wants a belly rub!

The Execution: He shows up at the end to get killed.

Next.

Crusher Gives Ifrit a: Thumbs Down!

------

MONSTER #5: DARK GAIA

The Gist: One day, Dr. Eggman decided to have yet another go at controlling a giant monster. This resulted in the events of Sonic Unleashed, which started off with a bang when after a spectacle of action and destruction in the far reaches of space, Sonic was lured into a devilish trap by the wicked scientist. Using the negative energies of the Chaos Emeralds, Eggman fired a laser that literally broke the planet apart, in an attempt to unleash (HA!) the being sleeping within the planet's core: Dark Gaia.

Those negative energies also turned Sonic into a bizarre werewolf-hedgehog hybrid, which wasn't intentional on Eggman's part, but he dealt with him easily by letting him fall all the way down to the planet... along with the sapped Chaos Emeralds. Oops.

With the help of a strange little guy with amnesia named Chip, Sonic and his new alter-ego - the Werehog - went on a grand day out to find the Gaia Temples around the world, with the idea being to restore the Emeralds' energy one by one. All the while, Dark Gaia kept... existing, and Eggman tried to stop them. Eventually, it's revealed that Chip, bog standard comic relief that he is, was in fact Light Gaia all along, the fated nemesis of Dark Gaia. After all, you can't have dark without light, just as you can't have light without dark.

"I wish I knew how to quit you... and this boss fight."

Same song and dance from then on. Dark Gaia pops up, Sonic and Chip beat it, Gaia gets angry and transforms, then they beat it again with Super Sonic. Chip says goodbye as he prepares to sleep for nearly an eternity to keep Dark Gaia at bay, which could be seen as a metaphor for how I'm close to falling asleep for eternity due to how genuinely exhausting it is to talk about these non-characters.

The Design: I really do not like Dark Gaia's design. Outside of the purple tentacles, which are admittedly pretty cool, he's just a stick with eyes and teeth. That's all he is.

Nice nail polish, prick.

And when he becomes Perfect Ultra Mega Dark Gaia 2: The Return of Jafar, what does he transform into? ...A stick with MORE eyes and teeth.

"I'm never drinking Chaos Cola again, Chip."

So yeah. His design is boring. And he could do with eating more.

The Execution: Dark Gaia is at least set up from the beginning rather than showing up haphazardly towards the end, but that's about all the praise I can give it. Despite everything to do with Chip, the Gaia Temples, and the Gaia Manuscripts, there's still not nearly enough to make Dark Gaia truly stand out. It's the personification of the world's darkness, and it's involved in a cycle with Light Gaia... what else? What else is there for me to care about?

Also, its boss fight was the worst, and coming after the Egg Dragoon, it was like a slap in the face. Say what you will about the guy below, at least you can deal with him quickly.

Crusher Gives Dark Gaia a: Thumbs Down!

------

MONSTER #6: TIME EATER

The Gist: Young Sonic was on his merry way, then a time monster showed up to cause trouble... in time. Young Sonic was thus forced to team up with Older Sonic to combat this threat.

So they did.

......

At least Eggman was in control this time. Or Eggmen, rather.

"Did I ever tell you the time I wrote about how Sonic the Hedgehog had it pretty rough lately...?"

The Design: Not too bad, actually. Sure, it looks like a stereotypical ghost at first...

"WHAZAAAAAAAAPPPP"

...But once it's revealed to be mechanized by the Eggmen, we see its true, clockwork-esque form:

Might want to get those boils checked, buddy.

As a robotic Frankenstein abomination, I really like its time aesthetic, and its twitching and whirring, as if it's trying in vain to fight back against the Eggmen's control. Like the Biolizard, the context allows it to be a bit hideous, and it still looks cool despite that.

The Execution: Am I going to give the Time Eater a complete free pass just because it's the one that Eggman successfully controlled? No. I will freely admit that there was not enough to establish it in a way that felt satisfying, and some would say to a worse extent than Solaris or Dark Gaia.

But here's the thing: I'm more willing to let these things slide if the game isn't forcing me to try and care about it. Or to put it in another way, the plot of Sonic Generations may very much be an excuse plot in its purest form, and that will always be a shame, but that's actually why I don't mind this as much. Generations isn't pretending that the Time Eater is anything more than what it is. It's not hyping it up without being able to back its "lore" up. It's nothing more than the justification for why we're having this adventure. And since Eggman is the real baddie pulling the strings anyway, I look at Time Eater as a plot device used by Eggman, than as an actual entity of its own.

Note that I'm not saying this is ideal. I'd have loved it if Generations had more of a story, and I'd have loved it if Time Eater had more lore behind it to back it up. But I'm explaining why I'm not so harsh on it as I am with Dark Gaia or Iblis, who their respective plots tried so hard to make me care about as big bad threats, only for it to fail miserably due to how mind-numbingly boring they are. It's a lesser of two evils situation, and I'm just giving my stance on it.

Plus, again, I actually like Time Eater's design. And Eggman did succeed with it...

Crusher Gives Time Eater a: Thumbs Sideways!

------

So that’s it then. That’s your lot for today. Some of them are okay, most of them are crap, none of them are as good as Chaos. I apologise if this edition of Sweet or Shite felt a bit rushed or shoddy, but in my defense, it's hard to say much for these guys, and I try not to be too repetitive.

......

Here’s a Shadow for you.

#Sonic Villains: Sweet or Shite?#Opinion #Sonic the Hedgehog #The Biolizard #Iblis #Solaris #Ifrit #Dark Gaia #Time Eater

36 notes · View notes

surveys-at-your-service · 6 years ago

Text

Survey #207

“it’s late, and you’re still staring at the light; to call it an addiction’s impolite.”

Nevermind what gender you ARE, what gender do you WANT to be? Happy being a girl. Do you ever feel ashamed revealing your age? When it's to people who are aware of how behind I am in the adult world in any context, yes. Very. If they know nothing about me, then I don't care. Are you confident enough to reveal your height and weight? Height, I don't care. Weight, fuck no. What do your parents call you? Both usually say "Britt," but Dad's more likely to use terms of endearment like "sweetie" and such. Well, Mom does use "hunny" a lot too. How old were you when you first got to go on the computer? Idr. About the "normal" age for little kids that played Neopets, probably. Would you say you’re an emotional person? Way too emotional. What’s a color that suits you the best? Black. And a color you just can’t pull off/don’t want to? Probably most... I wouldn't know, almost every single thing I wear is black. I have literally one light purple shirt, and I think that's the only non-black shirt I own. Describe yourself when you were 6 years old? Very talkative, extremely imaginative, outgoing, I was definitely weird, tomboyish, very happy... Man, I miss being that kid sometimes. A type of personality you just can't stand? The older and older I get, the more I cannot STAND a closed mind. I like people who accept they're far from always right, and sometimes, your "right" isn't such for someone else, and that is fine. You don't have to see the same way to still get along perfectly (though of course, there's no need to respect an opinion that spits upon, invalidates, or is just plain hateful towards another person/group). Like just as an example 'cuz I feel like I explained that poorly; I'm really not into the idea of polygamy at all, but I'm not against it for people it works with. You do you. Your appearance in one word would be? "Abilify." :^) City type of person or country? I like the live in a more country-ish area, but I found through Chicago I LOVE /visiting/ cities. What’s something you’re obsessed about right now? When am I not obsessed with Mark, meerkats, Silent Hill, opossums (a newer addition), WoW, etc. etc.? My whole life runs on obsessing over something, fren. Your reaction if someone told you you look 10 years older than your age? ZOINKS that would suck ass. Do you really badly want anything right now? For the past couple weeks, I've become more and more antsy to get up to Sara's again. When I land a job, fancyin' up my tattoo just because as I've said again and again it is SO important to me and must be perfect, then I'm saving up to go back up there. What’s something that makes you really stressed out? With all this job searching and such going on, it's like all I can think about, so why not mention what fucked me up at my previous ones: Putting me in a position of responsibility and expected knowledge. Ex., when I was a sales associate and was asked "Oh, do you have this?"/"Where is this?", it was CONSTANT PANIC MODE because I never knew and had to ask somebody, when I was expected to be a knowledgeable employee to the customer, and then comes the horror of feeling like I'm inconveniencing and annoying them. Have any particular standard look you look for in a significant other? I don't have a "standard look," no, but I am more likely to be drawn to a gothic appearance. But I don't actively search for someone that meets that criteria or anything. Do you listen to Wiz Khalifa? No. What are your opinions on marijuana legalization? Please legalize medicinal use already. Recreationally, idk. Do you date outside your own race? I'd have no reservations against it. I dated a Hispanic... less than a day, but still, you get the point that I don't have a problem with it. What are some of your turn-offs? SEXIST/MISOGYNISTIC, too old-fashioned, racist and/or homophobic, raunchy, arrogant/self-centered, lack of sincere interest and enthusiasm in conversation, poor hygiene, I'm gonna get SHIT ON for saying "too slutty," not taking dating seriously... that kinda stuff. I'm so picky. Are you gay, straight, bi, or trans? Bisexual. Are you vegetarian? If not, would you ever consider becoming one? I'm not now, but I hope to return to it after I get to my goal weight... In my few months of vegetarianism, it was proven that my immense pickiness with food was making the diet unhealthy for me, as I was strongly lacking in certain vitamins and such. I'm going to have to somehow overcome that if I want to return to it, which I REALLY do want to do the more and more I get into animal welfare and care. Are you in love? Yes. Are you more of a pessimist or an optimist? Pessimist, I think, out of the two. But I like to see myself as a realist. How much money is in your wallet? Literally just $11 lmao. What’s your favorite sex position? Only experienced in these with a man, so answering with that in mind. I like sitting on his lap, facing him, with my legs around his back. What do you ultimately wish for in life? Happiness and peace. Have you ever been pregnant? No. What do you think about tipping at restaurants? Tip your goddamn waiter/waitress, assholes. I do believe in tipping based on the quality of service, BUT at least give them SOMETHING for working. Do you have your driver’s license? No jkajdsklfaj;wer. I haaaave to practice more. Whenever I'm in the car, I always strongly prefer to listen to my music, controlling it from the passenger's seat, and at least right now, I can't drive with loud music, barely any at all really, so I have a hard time giving up blaring my music while Mom drives lmao. Have you ever passed out from drinking? No. What’s your favorite carnival food? Idk, I don't go nearly enough. Who did you last kiss? Romantically, Sara. Platonically, either my niece or nephew when leaving. Have you seen the final Harry Potter movie? I haven't even see one. Ever been called a slut? No. Would you ever have sex with someone not of your preferred sex? I'm bisexual so like- Would you ever get back together with any of your exes? No. Do you take any meds on a daily basis? Yep. What did you do today? Watched LPs as always; did some job searching; played WoW, way shorter than usual though; took a nap; made a new icon; took a shower; listened to music; did some social media scrolling. The usual stuff. What do you wear to bed at home? A tank top and pj pants. What do you wear to bed when you're somewhere else? The same, but with a bra. Is there a place you keep any prized/secret things whilst you’re away? No. Do you have any phobias? What? Why do you think you have this/them? I'll just talk about the unordinary ones, 'cuz I have a lot. The ones I'd consider "weird" are vomiting, whale sharks, and pregnancy. Vomiting is because it's just incredibly unpleasant, but also because I know what goes down is not supposed to come back up. Like no one likes puking, no shit, but I'm legit afraid of it and lock up on what to do when I feel it coming, like I don't know what to do. Whale sharks... ahaha. It literally came from World of Warcraft. The design of their mouths is fucking horrifying, and I hate hate hate how they sometimes phase in-and-out of the Vashj'ir map so just like pOP UP. NAH, SON. It's just their damn mouths, even though I know their esophagus is far too small to swallow a human. As for pregnancy, just... ew. I'm afraid of parasites, and it's a parasitic relationship. Something should NOT be growing inside of you. What skill do you possess that you are most proud of? I'm very compassionate, especially when it comes to others enduring emotional struggles. I really feel for hurting people. What is your greatest strength (e.g. honest, loyal, brave)? I have strong morals and stick to them. I'll always stand up for what I feel is right. What’s your greatest shortcoming or flaw (e.g. cowardly, alcoholic)? Ah jeez, there's a lot... but probably my anxiety. It's held me back and manipulated my actions since middle school. I struggle not followings its rules, but I'm sure trying. Who do you most admire? Mark, my mom, Sara, Sara's dad, Steve Irwin... man, there's too many great people. Who do you most love? Sara, my mom, and my pets, Teddy especially. What three things do you look for most in a partner? EXPRESSING OF THEIR EMOTIONS/TRULY FEELING!!!!!!!!, compassion, and a cool head. If you could ask God (to atheists - IF there was one) one question, what? Hm. Good question... There's a lot, but mostly little wonders; I feel like I have a decent understanding of the god I personally see, so don't have any magnificent questions. Perhaps regarding why they created our world. That'd be interesting. Rate yourself on these traits from 0 to 10: 0 - do not possess this trait. 10 - you have great amounts of this trait. Calm temper: 7. Charm: *big shrug* Cheerfulness: 3-4. Confidence: 0-3. Courtesy: 8-10. Curiosity: 6-10. Forgiveness: 9-10. Generosity: 8-10. Greed: 0-3. Helpfulness: Well, I like to try to help, but I don't feel I'm very successful at that, so idk. Honesty: 5-9, depending on who I'm talking to and what the subject is, I guess. Loyalty: This is very flexible, and I don't feel like I can put a number on it. It depends on how deserving you are of the trait, and yes, you can lose my loyalty in a heartbeat if you give me reason to take it away. Optimism: 0-4. Patience: This can go from a whopping 0 to a 10, lmao. Very dependent on the situation. Self-sacrifice: 8-9. Wit: -10. Briefly describe your family. Kinda broken. Tight bonds scattered between certain people, no bonds with others. What is the worst thing that has ever happened to you? The breakup. I wouldn't wish that night upon Satan himself. How did it affect you? We know. Have you ever had any recurring nightmares or themes in nightmares? Speaking of that... Jason is in most nightmares I remember. The common theme is it's either after the breakup and we have an awkward running in with each other, or it's long before when everything was "perfect." All things considered, I'd call even that a nightmare. Those fuck with me the most. Do you currently have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Yeah. Do you have any close friends? I can count those on maybe two fingers. Of what are you most proud? Letting Jason go. Of what are you most ashamed? I've talked about the Joel situation multiple times. What is your religion? Theist. Where do you stand on abortion? Mostly pro-choice. Where do you stand on the death penalty? Sometimes justifiable and one's deserving end. Felons are lucky enough it's done humanely. Where do you stand on wearing fur? If you're not surviving out in the arctic, fuck you and all you stand for. Could you kill somebody? I'm perfectly aware I could in defense situations. For what reason would you kill somebody? Defending myself or loved ones. Hell, probably even strangers. I'd kill a rapist with zero fucking hesitation, even if they were assaulting someone I'd never seen before. Would you SERIOUSLY CONSIDER killing anybody right now? No. Do you trust easily, or not? NOPE. What, if anything, would you sacrifice your life for? Defending peace, gay rights, or if it was to protect most of those I love. What are your dreams/ambitions/goals? Be a successful photographer, reach financial stability, come to a point where I'm actually proud of what I've done, play a roll in wildlife conservation, be happily married, and just overall be content and satisfied with my life. How do you plan to reach them? Working my goddamn ass off and not taking "no" for an answer (not about the marriage part tho lmao). Do you ever want to have a family someday? With children? No. Who would you want to start this family with, or do you not yet know? I just want a pet family with Sara. What do you see yourself doing next year? Man, I don't have a clue... What do you see yourself doing in twenty years? I don't want to think of that. That's too far ahead. I'll be 43... I've gotta work on too many things now. Would you ever have an affair? I'm very curious as to who would actually answer "yes" to this. Would you ever have a one night stand? No. Lmaoooo actually this is sad as fuck, but I think I've said in a previous survey just knowing myself, if we were both single and clicked, I'd be doomed if it was Markiplier. My morals would sadly go out the window. If you had a month of nothing (no work, no obligations) what would you do? That's literally been the story of my life for years now, especially the past two. And it's torture. Would you ever choose a career or job where your life was at risk? No. Well, actually, I do want to do wildlife photography, and it can be pretty dangerous. Were you present at any major historical events (e.g. 9/11)? No. Do you have any famous relatives? No. Ancestors, yeah, but not close relatives. Are you a loyal member of any organizations? No. What type of criminal would you be? With how forgetful I am, I'm certain I'd be a very clumsy one that gets caught very quickly, lol. What are you listening to right now? "Voices" by Motionless In White. If you had to choose a stripper name, what would it be? Um idk. If your phone started ringing, who would you hope is calling? Someone for a job interview. Do you drink? Rarely and/or for some special occasions. Never enough to get drunk. Do you smoke? No. What is the first thing you notice in someone? I guess posture? How they carry themselves? Do you get attached easily? BOY! DO I!!!!!!!!!!! Do you like your eye color? I wish they were more blue. Would you go bungee jumping/sky diving if given the chance? Definitely not bungee jumping, I know how I react to that kind of up/down movement, and probably not skydiving, either. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? Both regularly since middle school. Are looks important in a relationship? Not very. What is your favorite thing to do? Binge a new song I fell in love with for like days lmao. What was the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? PhotoScape. It's easier to move watermarks for photos on there, and I was working on the ones I took a few days back. Do you like to gossip? No, I feel super guilty. What kind of computer do you have? An Acer. Do you know all the words to your national anthem? I think? Have you ever failed a grade? No. Have you ever made the opposite sex cry? Yes. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? Nah. Have you ever slapped someone in the face? No. Do you own a designer purse? Hell no. Waste of money for a goddamn purse that's just gonna get dirty and scratched. What’s the weirdest rumor you’ve ever heard about yourself? Jason and I magically had a baby over summer vacation when I was very obviously never pregnant. Do you say the "h" in the word “herb”? No, though I did for a super long time 'cuz I had no idea it was wrong. Do you speak any languages besides English? Not fluently. Can you run in high heels? I wouldn't really know, but boy do I doubt it. Do you have to take stairs or an elevator to get to your house? No. What do you usually order at Subway? Ummm I think white bread, ham, American cheese, bacon, jalapenos, banana peppers, and Chipotle sauce. I think that's it. Did an alarm wake you up this morning? No. How long is your mother’s hair? Past her shoulderblades, near the middle of her back. Is there any particular place you’d like to vacation to next? Surprisingly, I'd love to go somewhere tropical, like Hawaii or some shit like that. Somewhere with clear water and unique, beautiful wildlife and nature. What is your beer of choice, if any? Never tried beer, never want to. The smell is bad enough. That and I associate it with when Dad was an alcoholic. Did you share a bed with anyone last night? No. Well, other than with my cat. Do you know anyone who volunteers regularly? Yes. Have you ever ruined a nice pair of shoes, and how? Maybe, playing in puddles or biking through them and mud as a kid or something. Who were the last friends you went to hang out with? Sara. How many chairs are in the room you’re currently in? None. Have you texted a relative in the past week? Not besides immediate family. Are you doing anything important today? No. If I were to bring you any type of food right now, what would you pick? If I was actually hungry, I have been craving hotdogs on the grill like CRAZY lately. No clue why. When did you move into the house you’re currently living in? April-ish 2017. Do you ever sleep with the light on? No, I can't. Do you pray to Jesus? 20+ years of that did nothing. No. What was the last thing you ordered at Starbucks? N/A Do you have a bonfire pit in your yard? No. Would you consider being homeless if it meant you could travel the world? I don't know; there's lots of factors to consider. Would I be willing to leave my pets (but Teddy, probably; I'd want him with me) with my mom? Would I have something like a camper? Where am I getting this money to travel and provide for myself? Do you know your next-door neighbor? Mom knows one, but I personally don't. What’s something you have never done? Lots of things? As an example, uhhh... I've never done a cartwheel, despite childhood efforts? Name someone you know who is a true risk-taker, adventurer, and free spirit. Do you admire that person? Idk. Do you wish you were more of a free spirit? I think I already am, but it'd be cool to be more of one. Are you allergic to any medications? No. How do you feel when someone says something you’ve experienced doesn’t exist? Tell me depression isn't real, my PTSD isn't genuine, I can "get over" my anxiety if I want to hard enough, stuff like that, and I will not fucking associate with you. These are things that have massively affected my life; I dare someone to tell me these experiences aren't real issues. What worldview do you have? A realistic one, I think. I'm positive in some areas, negative in others. Hm... I'm probably more pessimistic about the world's future, though. Do you have friends who have different religious beliefs than you? Duh? If applicable, who was the first person you “came out” to? Sara. What’s one thing you’d like to do more? Travel. What was your style in high school? Some emo/metalhead hybrid that wished with all her heart to be capable of affording a goth wardrobe and bitch I still do. What’s one thing you are jealous that other people got to do but you didn’t? Have a healthy teenage experience. Have you ever taken birth control pills continuously? I have for years for my cycle. I had just about debilitating cramps and sometimes periods that lasted over a week. Who is your personality twin? Sara is probably the closest. What’s a common name that you hate? Edward, above all. Not a big fan of William, Robert, or Allen, either. Who do you wish you were best friends with? If you don't count my girlfriend as "best friend," maybeeee... Alon still? Or Baylee. I need to talk more to her, she's awesome. Do you own a camera tripod? Yes. Did you ever believe in mermaids? I don't believe so. …in fairies? I believed in the Tooth Fairy. …in Santa? Yes. Have you ever purchased alcohol? Yes. What is your newest hobby? Hm, I don't think I've found a new one for a long while... What gives your life meaning? I don't know. What motivates you to do what you do? The pursuit of happiness. What was the weather like the last time you went out? Too fucking hot. Do you go for walks often? No, though I really want to around a lake at a local, small park. Problems consist of no way to get there myself, it's WAY too fucking hot with my sweating issue, and my knees just wouldn't have it; I know I couldn't walk the full lap around it. Also expect some art installations around the path and probably the gazebo are PokeStops for Pokemon Go and really wish I could play it, so that's bait to do it lmao. What color shirt are you wearing? Pink. What is your favorite type of YouTube video to watch? It really depends on who I'm watching. Favorite on the face of the planet are Mark's ego projects, then my second fave are probably Shane's conspiracy videos, then I love let's plays. Do you need any new clothes right now? I seriously need more pants. And new bras. Do you collect anything? If so, what? Silent Hill merch and meerkat stuff. ^and if not, what would you like to collect? When I can buy shit myself, ya girl is gonna have way too much Markiplier merch. YouTuber stuff in general, actually. Too shy to ask for that kinda stuff now lol. Have you ever experienced a miracle? I don't think so. What was the last thing you ate? A burger. Do you ever eat food that’s intended for kids? ...? Like, baby food? No. Or maybe you mean shit like Lunchables? In cases like that, sometimes? What was the last stupid thing you did? Oh boy, who knows. Do you get embarrassed easily? You. Have. No. Idea. What are your top three names you like for a daughter? Alessandra, then uhhhh... I like Chloe and Adrian. Would you ever film a vlog of yourself giving birth? Hell no. I'd never wanna see it, I'd never want my hypothetical child to have to witness that, etc. Do you like getting caught in the rain? No. Wet clothes are no. Do you think your hair looks best straight, wavy, or curly? Straight, I guess? Though my hair does swoop to the right, so it's kinda a wave? What was the last craft project you completed? Oh, yeesh. I don't do crafts. The closest thing was I guess Sara's Valentine's Day gift for last year? Name 3 YouTubers you would like to meet in person: Markiplier is literally the only one that matters lmao and it's not "would like to meet in person," he will be forced to endure meeting me ok. Meeting Shane Dawson would be amazing, he's such a relatable sweetie, aaaaand #3 would probably be Rhett and/or Link, as similar to Mark, they deserve a tear-filled thanks as well as back-breaking hugs for seriously helping in keeping me alive through my suicidal year. I mean it when I say they genuinely helped me keep going. What color are your nails painted currently? They’re never painted. Do you use a pill box? No. List 3 people you know who were loving and then turned cold: Jason, Jason, and Jason. Have you ever felt threatened for your life? No. Which did you like better: high school or college? My college experience was horrid. High school had great memories, but of course negative ones, too. Which year of your life stands out to you as the most significant so far? 2017. …and why? It was my year of recovery from the breakup. What was the last store you shopped at? I went to Wal-Mart with Mom. I think that was the most recent, anyway. Do you have a favorite pharmacist? No. Do you have a favorite cashier at the grocery store? No. What’s something you discovered recently? I'm a Billie Eilish fan. What makes you more creative? Music. What’s the last magical thing you experienced? YO okay so when my brother and nephew were here, we went to the science museum and into a 360 VR-esque show about astronauts. I got SO nauseous and dizzy, but it was nevertheless extremely cool. What is the theme of your bedroom? It doesn't have a theme. Have you ever lived in a dorm? No. When was the last time you stepped outside of your comfort zone? Just tonight! I ordered at a drive-thru myself. Would you rather ride a camel or an elephant? An elephant! Do you want to lose weight? You have no fucking idea. Which insects scare you, if any? Lmao most. Especially rhinoceros beetles, big beetles in general honestly, cockroaches, earwigs, centipedes... like a lot okay. I like observing praying mantises, but I would probably have a fucking heart attack if one was on me. Do you think it’s silly to be afraid of a tiny insect? Well, yeah, though I get the likely survival reason, that being we know many are venomous, so we're naturally averse to them, especially if we don't recognize the type. Were you raised religious? Yes. Have you ever been abused? No, thankfully. Is there a coffee shop you like better than Starbucks? N/A If you could afford to get your hair professionally done, what would you get? Man, I have SO many color combination ideas. If I could get it done in the safest manageable way by a pro, I saw this look once with totally bleached/pure white hair that fades to blood-red tips, and BOY would I get that in a heartbeat. If you had a lot of money, do you think you would use it wisely? I hope so. I think so. The only thing I imagine myself being weak with are tattoos. Do you know any rich people who are very irresponsible? I don't think so... List five careers that you’d like to have: Meerkat biologist, paleontologist, artist, poet, something in wildlife conservation/protection. List five far-out things that you’d like to do before you die: Scuba-dive, I'd LIKE to ride a rollercoaster (far-out for me, trust me), but I know I never will, and uh... idk. Riding a motorcycle would be cool, but that's another thing I hiiighly doubt I'll do. What was your first imaginary friend’s name? I never had one. What was the name of the first pet that you loved? Chance, a cat my mom rescued. She was our very first family pet. She was absolutely incredible. Do you like to go barefoot? Unless I'm in a house, no. Do you like the same colors now that you did as a kid? Yeah. Do you have a YouTube channel? Yeah. Is there someone who stopped talking to you for no reason? Oh, who to begin with? Did you ever get called horrible names like whore, skank or bitch? "Bitch" more than once. Where did you sleep last night? My bed. Have you ever slow danced with anyone? With Jason, yeah. And I don't think so, but maybe Sara briefly? Have you ever cried in public? Yeah. What would you do if you were pregnant? I don't have a fucking clue. Do you like cuddling? With someone I love. Have you ever cried in school? Yes, but I think I kept it private. Who’s the last person to send you a message on Facebook? A woman whose wedding I'm shooting this Saturday. Have you ever witnessed someone else engaging in a sexual act? Just making out. Where did you get drunk last? N/A What’s your relationship with the last person you texted? She's my girlfriend. If someone went through your pictures, would they find a dirty one? No. How did you do on the last test you took? I haven't been in school for a long time. How come you’re not going out with the person you love? I am.

#survey #quiz #questions #random #bored

4 notes · View notes

bananaapplewaffle · 2 years ago

Text

A Twisted Halloween: Spectral Soiree: Book 3: Ghostly Plight

Everyone and everything’s split up.

Silver/Jamil What the fuck

I mean…yeah this is how the Realm of Darkness is.

Silver honey…y’all are not staying here.

Ah the old days of Naruto and focusing your chakra into your feet to walk on just about an surface.

Ah, Mulan reference!

PERIODT JAMIL

COMMIT STEAL

Was…was “Zounds” supposed to be “Zoinks”?

This man learning quickly.

Gotta lie to Silver to get shit done

I mean…there was some magic…some Mushu magic lol

THERE HE GOES

MASK OFF JAMIL

Imma need these ghosts to chill

Also!

Silver…you are at the wrong school

Princess Aurora headass

Where we going?

Sparkles?

Nope.

STAIRS?

Girl what is that one SCPs number?

The stair scp

JACK

ITS YOU

Oh…

Oh you’re possessed.

What the hell is this ghost talking about

Jack, you were possess—

OH WAIT

JACK WASN’T WITH THE PARTY WHO WENT IN

HE WAS STOLEN

Jack’s comin for ya!

Riddle/Ruggie/Ortho

This freaking disney twinkle

THIS IS HALLOWEEN

HALLOWEEN

Ion read One Piece but

Chile I can't find the image

Oh well...

Is this a One Piece ref?

Can’t really think of any other treasure hunter manga…

Really hate that i’m on a reread, so I have to sit through all these fights…again

Y’all don’t bully Riddle

He had a strict upbringing

We gotta take Riddle to an escape room

GIRL WHAT

…why are y’all walking away from Riddle

And why is my dog standing at the end of the bed

What has a alarmed you my dear doggo

DAMN IT

RIDDLE THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A PRIVATE CONVERSATION

NEVERMIND

HE’S HAPPY!

Yeah, don’t ever tell him, Ortho.

RIDDLE, RUGGIE AND ORTHO ESCAPE ROOM ADVENTURE???

IF Y’ALL GHOSTS DON’T DIE INTO NOTHINGNESS

Oh hey they made it to the stairs!

What possessed person will they meet?

AY FUCK

ITS JADE

NOT IT SAYING “Floyd?

NOT Y’ALL NOT KNOWING THE DIFFERENCE

Oh wait nevermind that was Floyd dialect

Riddle ofc would know tho

I have no words at what the fuck Jade told Riddle

ASLDKSA;LDKSADL;

HE DIDN’T SAY THAT, JADE

Rook/Trey/Sebek What the hell is going on with this group

Sebek sweetheart you are half human please chill

The face Rook is making after being caught

Y’all didn’t even get a fragment before leaving

Hate to see it

Sebek if you don’t put that magic away rn

Ooooo

Trey’s frowning~

NOOOOOOO

WE WERE ROBBED OUT OF ROOK LORE

I WANT TO KNOW

IS HE FAE/HUMAN

OOOO

TREY WAS THE ONE TO COMMIT STEAL?

Proud of him

…

Oh no

He’s like Tartaglia…

Was this man fucking Tarzan

Or Sora? Cuz that fuckin whatever the hell would come out the woodwork just to scarp

Bro I wanted him to touch his chest and feel nothing

Rook just stopped his heart to fuck with him

I FUCKEN KNEW IT

HE WAS FUCKING WITH HIS HEART

THE BITCH

They literally have like two why are they already at the stairs

Anyway

Who y’all fighting

ITS DEUCE

I mean… he is a mama’s boy

And Trey just entered mom-friend mode

The face Rook is making now that he cannot wipe Deuce’s face Im—

He looks so serious good lord

WHERE IS HIS MAMA

Oh hey the ghost left

YUCK

Deuce

Throw hands

Ah shit there he go…

Tbh Trey

We should get carried away

Leona/Ace/Floyd

Alright my fav group

BEAT THEY ASS FLOYD

Leona my beloved has used his growl

Floyd, we stand down.

LEONA CHILL

WAIT

THERE’S A DOOR IN THE CAVE

ACE NOOOO

DON’T OPEN THAT DOOR

OR THE WORLDS WILL BE CONNECTED

TIED TO THE DARKNESS

And there goes Floyd to go touch something

FLOYD GIVING INTO THE INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS

Leona: Don’t touch anything

An intrusive thought: But what if you did? What would happen then?

THE INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS ARE WINNING

Also known as

Since you said not to do it

Imma fucking do it

Bomb

PERTFICATION BOMB???

Now tbh Ace

I feel like honey is in fact acting

ACE GET HIS ASS

All according to plan

Alright,

Who’s gonna be with this group

EPEL????

Epel I’m so sorry

He’s gonna be PISSED when he comes to

ANGEL WHAT ARE YOU FEEDING YOUR CARDS

THAT ONLY TOOK ONE TURN

WHAT IN TARNATION

Nothing, because that’s it.

Twisted Ramblings

#waffle plays #waffle plays twst #twisted wonderland #a twisted halloween

1 note · View note

scoobydoominuscoobydoo · 7 years ago

Photo

Part Four

“If you die, I’ll literally go out of my freaking mind.”

“Look, at the end of the day I’m able to handle our, like terrible, life-shortening lifestyle. But that was because no matter how many horrible ghouls got up close and personal and nearly caused me to exit my body in an ethereal form, it always ended and that was that.”

Everyone shifted uncomfortably in their seats as Fred sped down the empty highway.

Shaggy was leaning against the back door of the van, Daphne sitting right next to him. All of them were out of breath and Shag’s breathing seemed to hitch every few seconds, his hands were shaking hard. But he couldn’t get them to stop.

They had just been chased out of Fred’s house by a woman taller than Shaggy wearing what looked like a baby doll’s face.

She was recognized as Marilyn Andrews, an ex-special forces who had been terrorizing Coolsville for the past month or so. That it, until some meddling kids came along and did what they do best.

They thought it was gonna be like every other case, every loose end get’s tied up and the bad guy goes to jail for a long ass time.

Except this time that’s not what happened.

Instead Andrews escaped, and her first instinct was to go after the meddling kids that thought they could outsmart her. Just to ensure it would never happen.

“Shaggy she’s ex-special forces, of course she can break out of prison. I-I guess we were just hoping she wouldn’t remember how.” Velma gently pet Scooby’s head that was resting on her lap.

Shag let out a tired laugh, “Or course we were. You guys know what your problem is? Like, you’re never willing to admit when maybe this is out of our hands. Maybe, just for once, we could let the damn police handle something!!” He lifted his hands up in frustration.

He knew that Velma and Fred would rather die than admit they were in over their heads.

It was possible they still had trouble trusting adults and that was why they never bothered to never get them involved.

Nobody responded.

Daph had gotten on her knees and turned around to look out the window, probably checking to see if they were being followed.

She let out a sigh of relief and pressed her forehead against the glass.

Shaggy felt his heartbeat relax as he looked at her calmed face and her gentle eyes. For the moment everything was quiet, all of them just trying to grasp onto reality and keep their wits about them.

Velma continued to pet Scoob’s shaking head.

Fred gripped tightly onto the steering wheel.

Shaggy and Daphne stared into each other’s eyes trying to find an anchor to hold onto.

Eventually, the silence was ended by Fred handing Velma his phone and telling her to dial 911. Shaggy felt a rush of relief run over him and he finally felt his tense body relax.

Velma explained the situation as clearly as she could, she was having trouble forming full sentences.

“G-Got it, okay....um thank you officer.”

She hung up and turned to Fred, “Uh- They tell us to head toward the high school a-and wait for them. I-In the van of course.”

Fred nodded and without signalling, he turned right toward their school.

As he turned he said, “Daphne, there’s a compartment right next to where we keep the spare tire. Open it and get what’s inside.” Daph nodded slowly and began to crawl over to where the tire was kept.

She wobbled around as the van sped up and slowed down.

Shaggy crawled over behind her and helped her lift up the door where the tire was. Instantly he spotted the compartment and motioned toward it. Daph followed his hand and nodded.

She leaned over his lap and opened the little door.

After opening it she froze for a few seconds, Shag placed a hand on her shoulder, “Daph, like you all good?”

“Jeepers.”

She uttered this just under her breath causing Shaggy’s hair on the back of his neck to stand up.

Jeepers was Daph’s filler word she used when she couldn’t think of anything better to say. Most of them had a filler word at this point, except Fred who never really needed to voice his feelings.

Velma turned around in her seat, “What was that? Freddie what did you hide?”

Fred’s face was grim and he stared straight ahead at the road, not replying. Shag was attempting to spot what had shocked Daph but to no avail.

Eventually, Daphne removed her hand from the compartment, Shaggy and Velma’s eyes widened when they saw what she was carefully holding.

“Jinkies Fred.”

“Zoinks.”

They used their filler words at the same time, not really sure how they were supposed to react.

Velma turned around with her brows furrowed, “Fred just what the hell are you doing with a gun in the Mystery Machine?! Are you crazy?? If the police find out, who knows how much trouble we’ll be in!!”

Shaggy and Daphne flinched, Velma rarely raised her voice at Fred since they both never seemed to be disappointed in one another.

It was like watching Mom and Dad fight, not fun.

“Velma, we’re getting chased by a freakin ex-special forces that’s probably learned how to survive cyanide pill and escape Gulags, me getting arrested for unlawful possession is the least of our damn worries!!” Fred snapped back at her as he made a turn into the high school parking lot, sending Shaggy and Daphne crashing into the back doors.

Daph yelped as she dropped the gun, terrified it would go off.

“Freddie when were you gonna tell us-no-me about this unknown Plan B?!” There was hurt in her voice, Fred remained silent as he tried to find a parking spot that was relatively hidden.

Daphne leaned over and tried to grab the gun but was once again flying against the door, a loud thud echoed through the van.

Shaggy looked over to her and saw her bite her lip and run the back of her head.

He sighed, they had all lost their anchors and were drifting off, it was getting too hard to pull themselves together.

As Fred turned into a dark parking spot behind a tree the gun slid right in front of Shaggy, without a second thought he reached over and grabbed it. Guns were heavier than he thought, he rested it in his lap as he tried to even out his breathing again.

Now all they needed to do was not move, or breathe, or anything to draw attention themselves until the police came.

He could really see how much he was trembling as he held the gun, he felt a rubber band that was being pulled back so far that instead of snapping, it might just break.

Everyone was way too close to snapping at this point.

His hand felt like they were both cell phones set to vibrate and people wouldn’t stop calling them.

He saw two hands go over his own, he recognized the assortments of rings and the sparkly purple nail polish. The second her hands touched his a shiver went up his spine and his breathing hitched.

Her touch didn’t normally do that, usually it just calmed him.

The quiet was becoming too much to bear.

It was like when you play hide and seek and you have a hiding in plain sight spot, and the seeker is in the same room as you.

You end up holding your breath and don’t even dare to move out of fear of being discovered, and then having to be It. This was like that, but a million times more terrifying and ended in them dying if the seeker found them.

Nobody in the van was moving or speaking, just sitting there and using up as little oxygen as they could.

Daph’s hands were still rested gently over Shags.

And he really hoped she didn’t move them. Getting chills from her hands was better than being too scared to look up from his lap.

You could hear everyone release a deep breath as Fred broke the silence, “Daphne,” Her grip of Shag’s hands tightened, “Since you’re the only one in this van with actual experience with firearms, you’re getting the gun.”

Shaggy could hear her breathing pick up and felt a panic in her voice.

“Bu- Freddie those were just hunting rifles and shotguns, for killing pigeons!! Thi-This is a 9 mil, I-I’ve only fired one of these once!”

She was practically squeezing the life out of his hands at this point, but he couldn’t find the energy to stop her.

“Daph that’s one more than any of us, you’re the best shot here. Besides it’s only if Andrews beats the police here.” Shag’s blood ran cold at that statement, there was a chance the psycho would be able to find them and cut their intestines out and wear them a horrifying scarf of meddling kids.

Daph sighed, “But...Fre-”

She was cut off by the sound of a motorcycle engine roaring into the parking lot.

Her hands were quickly pulled away from him as she covered her mouth with her hands, closing her eyes tightly.

Shag ignored the cold feeling he got when her hands left his and placed the gun in front of her. He then got on his knees and turned around as quietly as he could, he then peeked out the window.

It only took a second to spot the huge woman sitting on the vehicle scanning the area.

Instantly he dropped down from the window and held his breath, “Like, that’s definitely not the police.” He whispered it so quietly that only Daph could have heard him, but she didn’t react.

He heard shuffling and peeked back to see that Fred, Velma and Scooby were all ducking down in the front seat so no one could see them through the windows.

He looked back down at the grey carpet, counting slowly in his head so as not to lose his shit at the last second.

For a while they just heard the engine softly humming on the other side of the parking lot.

The farther away she felt the more unbearable everything became.

Why wouldn’t she just leave??

Suddenly the engine roared and was heading distinctly in their direction.

Shaggy felt Daph’s hand reach out for his and he held onto it tightly. Both of their knuckles were white as mayonnaise on a BLT. Shag didn’t even know what was running through Fred and Velms’ heads. He had a good idea of Scoob’s mental state, right around the same as his.

The engine’s purr was getting closer and closer as Shag’s grip on her hand got tighter and tighter.

He swore he could hear the motorcycle on the other side of the doors.

He could practically see Andrews right in front of them.

But instead of the doors being ripped off their hinges and them all getting their tongues ripped out, the sound of the engine grew distant, heading off in the other direction.

He heard Daph’s breathing for the first time in the past two minutes.

He also felt a wash of relief go over his body.

But that all was reversed the second he heard the loud ringing of Fred’s cell phone from the front seat.

There was the sound of scrambling and the sound of the NCIS theme song was silenced.

That didn’t change anything though, it was way too late.

Shag peeked over and saw a tear running down Daph’s cheeks as the sound of the engine halted, Andrews had parked. There was the sound of footsteps toward the van, he saw Daphne’s hand reach for the gun out of the corner of his eye.

Before he had time to think, there was a loud *BANG* and a bullet whizzed through the side of the Mystery Machine.

Shaggy let out an ear piercing scream, and for once he wasn’t the only one.

Immediately, Fred, Velms and Scoob jumped over the front seat and into the back.

Shag could barely process what was happening as Velma shook Fred, begging for him to have a plan. Daphne leaned over and slapped her telling her to shut her damn mouth.

Shaggy grabbed onto her shoulder and pulled her back, the whole van felt like it was spinning. He then heard another *BANG* and pulled Daph down so they were both in the fetal position. Another bullet, this time through the driver’s side window.

Fred was trying to steady his breathing while everyone was either crying or on the verge of hyperventilating.

“Okay,” His voice was shaking, like a pillar about to break apart, “She’s gonna kill us if we stay here. W-We need to get into the school building.”

Shag took a second to clarify what he said, “Like no way man!! Are you out of you’re damn mind Fred?? There are a good 50 feet between the Mystery Machine and the front door. And in those 50 feet at a bullet hell being provided by a fucking psychopath lookin like Andre the Giant with a damn machine gun!!!”

Another *BANG* and they all ducked down again, she was getting closer.

Velma stepped in, “Shaggy it’s not 50 feet, it’s 43 feet and 15 inches.”

Shag stared at her with a look of disbelief on his face, “Right and that makes it so much better!! That brings out chances of survival up a whole 7.8%! Like, good for us!!”

*BANG*

“Shaggy we will indeed die if we try to make a run for the front door. But if we drive up to the front door we’ll have a higher chance.” Shaggy gulped, he didn’t like the way any of that sounded.

He had completely zoned out while they went over their plan.

All he knew was they were splitting up (of fucking course they were) and that he was with Daph. Which didn’t make him any happier since he knew that if he was with Daphne he’d be more likely to do something stupid in an effort to protect her, even if she didn’t need it.

They waited until the next *BANG* and Velma made her move for the driver’s seat.

Ducking down, she turned the key in the ignition and the poor, scarred Mystery Machine awoke. Her next move was to put it in reverse straight toward the front steps of the school.

She put her foot on the gas and floored it.

Sending the rest of the gang forward crashing into the front seat.

There was a wave of *BANGS* but luckily all of them were near misses.

“HERE WE GO!!” Velma yelled and the gang braced themselves for impact with the front steps.

The collision shook the whole van and knocked the wind out of Shaggy, his chest feeling tight. But he didn’t have time to think about that because Velms had already put it in park and they were all crawling over to the back door.

Daphne pushed both of the doors open, the gun still in her right hand.

All of them quickly jumped out of the back and began to make a run for it.

Except Daphne, who had stopped and was staring at Andrews who was making her way toward the school. Shaggy groaned and rolled his eye as he ran back over to her and grabbed her free hand.

He then began to drag her into the school where they made a left toward the Chem lab where Scoob was supposed to be hiding.

“I swear Daph you make every horror movie mistake in the book. Like you didn’t get the nickname Danger Prone Daphne by making smart decisions.”

Daph only responded by tightening her grip on his hand.

When they made it to the Chem lab Shaggy could hear someone kick the front doors open and head in the direction where Fred and Velma went. Daphne prayed that Fred wouldn’t get hurt and that Velma could handle herself.

Shaggy let out a loud sigh of relief and slid down the wall he was leaning against.

He looked around the room and spotted Scooby hiding under one of the desks in the corner, Daphne’s desk to be exact.

Maybe Daph’s scent calmed him down.

He then realized he hadn’t let go of her hand yet. Looking up at her, he saw that she was staring down at the gun in her hand, a troubled look on her face.

“Daph, like I-I uh.....I doubt you’ll need to use it. Before you know it the police will be here they’ll slap some cuffs on good ol’ Andrews the Giant. And then we can go out to the nearest all you can eat buffet and prove how false their advertising is.” She sent him a grateful smile but the doubt was written in her eyes.

They had rested there for maybe 8 minutes, aside from the occasional door slamming things were pretty quiet.

Daphne still hadn’t let go of Shaggy’s hand, but he wasn’t really letting go either.

Shaggy was getting ready to walk over to the window and see if there was any sign of the damn police, wherever the hell they were they need to get in gear and save their lives already.

But he was cut short by one of those dreaded *BANGS!*

Both of them jumped and Scoob whimpered.

After a second Daph said in a voice laced with terror, “Tha-That came from Fred and Velma’s direction!”

“Daph wai-”

Daphne had already opened the door and was making her way toward the gunshot.

“Damn horror movie mistakes.” Shaggy muttered under his breath as he stood up, breathing heavily he stared out the doorway.

He turned back to Scooby who shook his head, his choice had already been made. Shaggy let out a long, shaky sigh and gulped, this could be listed as one of those stupid things he would do to protect Daphne even though she didn’t need it.

As he turned out of the door he spotted Daph a few feet ahead of him, trying to find where the *BANG* came from.

He began to follow her cautiously, being wary of all the places a 10 foot tall monster could pop out and turn his kneecaps into belt buckles. He was brought to attention by the sound of Daphne cocking the gun.

“Zoinks.” He whispered, this was for real.

They made their way down the hallway slowly, both a several feet apart from each other.

Shaggy felt his soul jump out of his body for a second at the sound of a deafening scream echoing through the whole school. Velma’s scream.

That prompted Daph to break into a sprint towards the central courtyard.

Shag groaned as he jogged after her but grew nervous when he lost sight of her around the corner.

He then turned on his super speed when he heard a different *BANG* to the *BANG* he was used to.

As he reached the courtyard he froze for a second, drinking in the whole scene.

Velma’s turtleneck was covered in what he hated to assume was blood. Tears were streaming down her cheeks but her face seemed to lack any sort of emotion or understanding of what was before her. Fred was on his knees next her, all the color had been drained from his face and he looked ready to throw up.

Daphne was only a couple feet in front of him, her back was to so he wasn’t sure what her state was.

All he could see was her shoulders rise and fall with her breathing.

Lying in the middle of the courtyard, with an AK still in her hand, a bullet hole through the side of her head, was Marilyn Andrews.

Her eyes were still open and angry, the hunger to kill them still fresh in her lifeless face.

Shaggy’s heartbeat had spiked and his breathing picked up.

It had just clicked.

Daphne had shot Andrews in the head to save Velma.

Daphne had killed Andrews.

Daphne, who saw the good in all people and preached that life was a sacred thing.

He felt like his legs were about to give out, “Daphne?”

She gasped and turned around, he saw that her face was drenched in tears. Her eyes were trembling and filled with so many different emotions he couldn’t comprehend. A stark contrast to Fred and Velma’s eyes that seemed glazed over and blank.

She dropped the gun and, without saying a word, wrapped her arms around his neck.

He heard her break into sobs as she nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck.

This only made his wanna cry with her, but instead he wrapped his arms around her and began to stroke her hair. Just letting her cry.

The jingle of Scooby’s collar could be heard back in the school, making it’s way closer to them.

And like the ringing sound of a cruel joke, police sirens quickly filled the parking lot.

#scooby doo #shaphne #shaggy rogers #daphne blake #shaphne fanfiction #teen wolf #stiles stilinski #lydia martin #stydia fanfiction

26 notes · View notes

shadowphoenixrider · 7 years ago

Text

Fe is a cute ass game that I really really like, that does quite a good job of telling a story/teaching you game mechanics with as few words as possible, though you can get lost and turned around quite easy (if you can, play it with a controller; it’s a lot easier than keyboard and mouse).

Also you get to have a Shadow of the Colossus moment climbing a great big leviathan beast, which is utterly amazing and slightly nerve-wracking since the platforming can be slightly finicky. It’s also very pretty.

Would recommend, though alas it’s an ‘EA Original’ game, so you have to get it through Origin. EA appears to have left the indie studio Zoink alone to do its own thing, however, so that’s pretty good.

#SPR rambles about video games #fe game #also the silence are actually kinda fucking scary

10 notes · View notes

painholds · 5 years ago

Text

♡ 𐐪𐑂 ° hey fwends !!! i’m not feeling the best right now ( it do be that time of the month for me 😔🤘 ) so my mind can’t focus long enough to do 2 entire intros DFJKSGH ..... soooo this is going to be just quick little facts about my muses so that i can plot with people and then tomorrow i’ll write their bios :”) i’m not going to tag this with the Official intro tag cause their actual bios are in the works ... & yeah ----

under the cut you’ll find some info on my 2 boos : ashleigh florentino & haley liu !!

ASHLEIGH

her parents?????? the WORST --- she was an unplanned pregnancy and you could definitely tell ~ her parents took more of an interest in their business than their own child ( that’s what happens when your parents are two of the wealthiest people in taunwick, i guess ).

she’d always been a magnet to people ; presumably because of her parents wealth. but also because ashleigh was quite kindhearted and a generally fun young lady to be around.

she craved love and attention. god, it didn’t matter who gave it to her. in turn, this lead to some bad choices but did she care??? fuck no she didn’t.

she met the love of her life in high school; long story short, they got together and engaged right out of high school.

ashleigh actually started modeling because of him -- he was her personal photographer ;)

she fell pregnant and got her first professional modeling gig and life was so perfect; there wasn’t anything that could spoil her mood. and then, one and a half years later... asheigh went home early after picking up madison ( their daughter ) from daycare to find her husband in bed with 2 women 😬❗❓ ash has NEVER felt heartbreak like that before.

she kicked him out on the spot & went to file for a divorce the following day.

3 weeks later ( PRESENT DAY ) , ash finds herself drunk calling him, sobbing about how much she misses him. she really is still in love with him and she hates it :(

important things to note :

skeptical + emotional + independent + nurturing / bisexual / chaotic neutral

her (ex-)husband is a wanted connection !! i’ll eventually submit a wc form to the main but if anyone is interested in bringing her hubby ... do let me know👁️

she doesn’t feel distressed towards the murders..... let me explain : when chastity died, ashleigh was only 13 years old and obviously she was terrified at first but when she went to her parents with her concerns, they completely dismissed her feelings and after a very lengthy talk with them, she came out believing the murder ( and past/future murders ) were simply a publicity stunt done by the mayor in order to get traction to taunwick.

ash refuses to believe the murders are real until she experiences / sees something for herself...... ZOINKS !

HER ALIBI : she was busy caring for madison, who was recovering from a cold.

HALEY

unlike ashleigh, haley was her parents’ miracle baby. they’d tried and failed to conceive many times but finally fell pregnant. they were very excited to have someone they can teach their religion and views.

but as she got older, her parents became much more strict with her ; they set certain house rules and there would be, in her mother’s words, “dire consequences” for breaking them and that shit scared haley into NOT breaking them.

throughout her adolescence, her parents seemed to slowly change. they were no longer the fun , overly-loving parents they once were but are rather harsh and possessive. little did she know that it was because her parents joined and online C U L T that had very stern rules regarding children 👁👄👁

one day, one of her friends convinced her to stay out “just a little longer” past her curfew...... literally 2 minutes past, her parents showed up at the park they were at and pulled her by the ear into their car... YIKIES !

( possible tw ) ------ neither haley nor her parents were seen for 2 weeks after that incident ; no one really knows what happened during those 14 days but when she came back, she was a quieter + much more gullible person -- if that was even possible.

^^^ it took her a few months but she eventually got back to the person she once was.

she’d always felt a very strong need to leave ; the town & more importantly, her parents house. though her family has a tradition .... because she’s an only child, she must live in her parents house until they pass.

she highly considers running away every damn day.

her 22nd birthday comes along and she finds herself talking the ear off of some stranger. she tells them how much she longs to leave her parents’ house and they make her an offer ----- if she helps them do something, they’ll help her get away from her family. she obviously immediately (mindlessly) jumps at the offer without ever asking what it was she needed to do.

that night, haley sat in her car, late at night, waiting for the stranger. she was told not to ask any questions about the situation and so, she didn’t; she sort of just figured they were visiting a family member or doing some kind of illegal drug deal or something. after they were finished, haley dropped them off and then headed for her best friend’s house because they had a slumber party planned.

two weeks from her 22nd birthday ( PRESENT DAY ) is when she saw the news about harley; she strangely recognized her .... and then it hit her like a tonne of bricks : she was unknowingly an accomplice to that poor girl’s murder ...

important things to note :

anxious + gullible + pleasant + patient / closeted bisexual / true neutral

she still is unaware that her parents are in a whole ass cult DFKGJH-- they keep it very, very secret so she will probably never find out.

haley is terrified of seeing the stranger she’d met again ; she’d likely pretend she doesn’t even know them if they were to cross paths again. she has frequent nightmares about the situation.

HER ALIBI : she was having a sleep over with her best friend; they spent the night making crafts and watching movies so she couldn’t have possibly been at the scene...

( note : the slumber party was planned a few days in advance and she had literally no idea that she was the getaway driver for the murderer )

0 notes

theaveragekenyan · 6 years ago

Text

And Justice For All...

Cameroon 0 – England 3.

I’m a big believer in, that no matter whatever happens within a football game, the above result will be the only long lasting importance. To the real purists, it can be distilled even further to simply, England beat Cameroon, verbatim.

The Women’s World Cup 2019 will be no different to any other major Footballing competition, they come, they go.

That said, the game between Cameroon and England was a real treat. The football game was excellent, but the actions of the Cameroonian players during the game was by far the best entertainment. They cried, they argued, they spat, they threatened careers, they looked silly and yet, amongst all of this, they played some nice football.

This is what former USA footballer, Hope Solo, had to say.

“This Cameroon team, they don't have the resources. They don't have the quality coaching in their country, they don't have the experience like England or somebody like Phil Neville. We have to try and understand that. Perhaps they weren't even told about the rules, the laws of the game and the evolution of the game. So, your heart has to go out a little bit to this Cameroon side. They played with emotions and brought this emotion to the tournament. As much as we want to see a little bit more class from Cameroon, they did bring that beautiful emotion and packed this entire stadium, You have to look at it both ways”

It’s such a diplomatic way of looking at the game, and largely I agree with it, however, just which resources are required to educate a football team about spitting, elbowing, shoving the ref, the off-side rule? Let’s not even go there with the stereotypical view that women don’t understand the off-side rule, many football fans don’t understand the rule. It is a rule that whichever way is tweaked, in an attempt to make it easier to implement, will mutate into something more complex.

“Perhaps they weren't even told about the rules, the laws of the game and the evolution of the game” Whilst the evolution of the game right now is VAR, the introduction of the off-side rule came in 1863. Every decision made by VAR concerning the off-side rule was 100% accurate.

The Cameroon team were visibly shaken by the off-side rulings, crying, arguing with the officials, huddling together in the center circle, claiming FIFA is racist, essentially the team “blew their shit” and wasn’t prepared to accept a decision go against them. It was if they were not prepared to accept the rules, as if there was perhaps another way to get the decision overturned, sadly that option was not available to them.

I can’t say it was a macrocosm of African life, because I haven’t lived within enough African cultures to speak for the whole continent, but the Cameroonian Ladies attitudes definitely resonated as far as Kenya.

The petulance displayed by the Cameroon team throughout the game made me draw direct comparisons to how the average Kenyan lives life. A life that perhaps hasn’t been told about the rules, laws and evolution of life, or as more than likely, chooses to deliberately ignore them.

Upon on your first arrival to Kenya you’ll hear very quickly about authority and justice, usually from the driver as you exit the airport into Nairobi.

Every single Kenyan knows just how corrupt their country is, and yes, whilst they are all utterly ashamed and embarrassed about the ‘C’ word, we are all fundamentally enslaved by the “system”.

Recently, I’ve heard at least five friends or associates tell me of their experiences of refusing to pay Tea Tax, and how now, each and every one of them says, that will be the last time they fight the system, next time they’ll just pay the bribe.

It took me a while to learn how to deal with “The Police” here and certainly, my first initial reaction with the police was to challenge. Why have I been stopped? I’ve done nothing wrong. Of course, that’s a perfectly natural way for everybody to act, well, not in Kenya as it turns out, there can always be something “wrong” and you’re guilty until proven guilty.

Growing up in the UK you become aware of your rights from an early age, you develop and become armed with a robust set of civil rights and unless you’ve been hacking the matrix, you’ll be able to exercise them.

Most offences you are likely to stand accused of here will be similar to an episode of Scooby-Doo, they’ll be vague, tenuous and carry little legal credibility. Had the criminals, that Freddie, Velma and Daphne caught, possessed any sense, they could have switched the legal tables around and had the Magical Mystery Bus Crew up for Trespassing, Criminal Damage, GBH, Slander, False Imprisonment, Zoinks, I doubt they even had a Dog License.

So, with this in mind, my advice when confronted by a member of the Kenyan Police Force is to be cooperative, dumb and submissive…ok mainly dumb and submissive. Act like you’re stupid, but very friendly…you know, a very stupid friendly person, we all know one of them. Act respectfully, but perhaps as if you’ve just left hospital after being awoken from a 12 year coma. Do NOT let the officer know that you understand how the road works or even what a car does.

Sorry, how presumptuous, I’ve forgotten to say, the only time you will ever come into contact with a police officer is whilst in a car.

Just answer every question you are asked, make no sub-plots, second guesses, or even worse still, fall into the trap of attempting to translate what the officer is saying into any western logic, quotes from your Highway Code are not going to work.

“But Sir, there is no sign to obey?” or “The white solid line?…errrr which white solid line are you talking about?” or “Could you please show me the exact speed I was traveling at?” that type of smart-ass clever clogs logic ain’t gonna fly, just stick to “oh” “ok” and “sorry”.

Of course, answer where you are from, respond with where you are going and NO, you don’t know why Kenyan’s are not allowed to drive on International Driving Licenses, answering “because very few Kenyans know how to drive” is not going to lighten the mood. Just stick to the basics as listed, with possibly a “terribly sorry, I’ll never drive again” or “I will speak to God as soon as I get home” In most cases, if your car has insurance, your brake lights work and you’ve acted out your best Jim Carey in Dumb and Dumber role, then you will be asked to continue your journey without any hassle.

It’s just that, when it comes to any level of confusion or reasonable doubt, that is when PC Chai will strike. Although there are much needed and continuing road upgrades occurring all over Kenya right now, many of the roads haven’t evolved well and road designation hasn’t been respected, so over time, there have been many glitches appear. When I say glitches, I mean in particular, junctions that are tenuous with their intended execution. There will be a sign missing, a marking lost, an invisible lane and this is where you’ll always find a cop waiting to pounce upon any vulnerability.

Also, whenever you’re stopped by a cop, you’d best hope it’s a male specimen. If you get a female cop you are going to jail. I can only assume that sometime in the 1990’s when women began to become more mainstream on the beat in Kenya, the then Inspector General found a book called “The Essential Guide to being a Female Officer in the East German Stasi” and based his whole outlook for Women in the KPS upon that. The Women Officers have zero personality, zero compassion, zero smile, they are Lucifer in fancy dress. It’s best to just plead the 5thamendment and demand to speak to your Ambassador immediately, good luck.

The Kenyan Police Service is now so widely and openly corrupt it’s normal. Chat to any Kenyan, Listen to any Church Service, look on any Kenyan News-site, watch Kenyan News TV, read Kenyan Transport Twitter Feeds @Ma3Route @KenyanTraffic and you’ll see video footage and photographs of cops taking bribes, cops about to be bribed or cops looking for bribes. It’s common knowledge and I’m yet to hear of a sustained plan to tackle it.

I’m not advocating for 1984, but to tackle the “system” would mean Kenyan’s being patrolled by VAR equivalents such as Speed Cameras, Average Speed Checks, Regulated Bus Lanes, Traffic Light Enforcement Cameras, Emission Detectors or even far more desirable a credible Police service. Sadly though any of that would infuriate the average Kenyan. Imagine, an automated justice system able to bypass the cops and not be swayed with a pithy excuse or any bribe or even a decent cop issuing a deserved fine, this is not 1984 just 2019.

Put simply, this would cause civil-war. There would be protests, riots, burning tyre’s (the most symbolic of all African protestation instruments), all of the cameras would be destroyed and all because the average Kenyan does not want to understand the rules, ergo the “system’ continues.

Let me be clear, It’s not just the Kenyan Police Service blighted by the “C” word, unfortunately the whole fabric of society has been riddled with the disease. The Kenyan President is very vocal in his “War on Corruption” and I hope he maintains the great work, however, to me, it still feels like the Anti-Corruption Agency has been given a watering can to put out an exploded nuclear power plant.

For now though, let’s not judge Women’s football on one game, I just wish we could say the same about Kenya.

0 notes