#Zoinks ass word

[trollocs-ooc]

I looked up what cripes meant after i wrote that cuz I thought it was food but i was thinking of crepes....cripes is just an expression of suprise/euphemism for christ lol

[blkkizzat]

❝ AITA FOR ACCIDENTALLY GETTING MY ANCIENT SORCERER BF HIGH? ❞

MODERN ERA TRUE!FORM SUKUNA X READER

» thread [summary]: Sukuna just ate all your edibles and is now more lit than Tokyo Tower—great. Now you have to fuck his high n' grumpy ass calm before you're the one that's actually fucked.

» upvotes [wc]: 11.9k » awards [cw]: true form sukuna, crack fic 110%, dr*g use, accidental dr*gging, slight dubcon, sub!sukuna, cunnalingus, fingering, whiny!sukuna, riding, twin-cock sukuna, nipple teasing, lots of banter, spanking, bimbo!reader, pussy smacks, frottage, premature ejaculation, creampie, breeding fantasies, rimming, cum eating, femdom, uncut/uncircumcised, high n' sassy sukuna, bondage, lots of teasing, and bits of fluff . » mod comments [a/n]: part of the 'we be burnin' JJK 420 collection (ill make a series post eventually i swear lol). I had the goal of keeping this under 12k and i made it! by 44 words. this was supposed to be a 5k fic but I got carried away because I love exploring modern day tf!sukuna x reader relationship so lots of banter and tid bits.

Enjoy!

Ok girl. Deep breaths. You got this! 

Standing in front of the large shoji door to Sukuna’s quarters, any nerve you build quickly dissipates by the time you raise your hand to knock.

SHIT-SHIT-SHIT!  

Swaying on your feet, suddenly, you don’t feel so sober anymore. Well, technically you weren’t even sober to begin with—far from it actually, you'd just started the come down from some pretty powerful edibles.

Edibles which happen to be the source of all your troubles now. 

You thought Sukuna leaving, for what you assumed would be a few days, would be the perfect opportunity for you to get completely zoinked off your ass—and that's exactly what you did.

Yet, unbeknownst to you, his plans had changed and he had returned home only after a day.

So when you finally awoke from your weed-induced power nap to discover Uraume had served Sukuna the remaining of the matcha and adzuki manju edibles you had made, you just about fell out.

Uraume had given Sukuna all three dozen of them. 

You didn’t even intend to make so many, but you accidentally doubled the recipe for weed butter and you weren’t about to let good product go to waste. Not with how tough it was to find good weed in Tokyo with it being illegal and all.

But fuck! 

You can’t recall a single time Sukuna ever enjoyed human food—more sated by human flesh instead. 

Yet from what Uruame told you he had already eaten at least five of them already.

Who knew The Curse King had such a fucking sweet tooth?!

Of course, Uraume blamed you once you explained. And true, while you did make the edibles, you certainly didn’t tell their ass to serve them to Sukuna!

Uraume scoffed at you though, claiming anything in Sukuna’s palace belonged to Sukuna—including you and whatever you happened to bake. 

The pompously dull scolds Uraume gave went in one ear and out the other as you rolled your reddened eyes. Eyes which immediately turned into a panic when Uraume demanded it be you, not them, to check up on Sukuna.   

That was the whole reason why you are even in front of Sukuna’s door right now sweating fucking buckets. 

Especially, since Uruame made the utterly insane accusation of you attempting to poison Sukuna. 

You tried to argue that Sukuna is immune to toxins—but Uraume wouldn’t listen to any of that. 

Hell, If you thought you could take Uraume in a fight, even in a more sober state, you would have literally scrapped with their ass before you agreed to check on a possibly high Sukuna. 

Who knows what kind of nefarious time The King of Curses would be on while high!?

Uraume is the one who is his attendant and also fed him the edibles!

They should be the one to go!  

But you also aren’t an idiot. You know for a fact Uraume would hand you your ass and then force you to go check on him anyway. No sense in getting unnecessarily bagged up when Sukuna himself might actually kill you.

So here you were, in front of his door dreading what might be waiting for you on the other side. 

“Woman! You are annoying me more by just standing out there, come-in or fucking leave.”

Piercing your thoughts, Sukuna’s gruff command booms through the door with enough force to make you take a few steps back.

Okay maybe, just maybe, this wouldn’t be so bad?

He sounded normal enough. 

No one high could still be this grumpy.

Sukuna is The King of Curses after all. 

Something as simple as a mere plant shouldn’t have any affect on him, right?

Steeling yourself, you slide open the door to his chambers. 

You make a mental note to fire your therapist, as the deep meditative breathing patterns they recommended does fuck all to temper your increasing anxiety in this situation.

Peering into the room before you enter, you see Sukuna propped on his side atop the wooden engawa patio leading to his private gardens. His nose seems to be buried in some ancient text you can't quite decipher from this distance.

Well, he looks normal enough too—from what you could tell at least.

You walk towards him but Sukuna makes no acknowledgement to greet you. 

However, if you could see his face, you would see the amused evil that pulls up at the corner of his lips. 

Sukuna can sense your uneasiness radiating off of you in waves. 

You’d not been this distressed to be in his presence in quite some time and yet you still sought him out—something you rarely did—even in a good mood. Typically, you’d only come to him when he called for you or when you wanted his cock. 

You had to want something from him—and a slut like you was never shy about asking for dick. 

Interesting.  

Sukuna knew you hated having to humble yourself to ask anything of him, so he took great pleasure in teasing you for it when necessity meant you could no longer delay your request.

Whatever you wanted, Sukuna certainly wouldn’t make it easy for you.

Where would be the fun in that?

And neither would your own body, apparently, make this situation any easier. You nearly trip over your own feet as the paranoid side effects of your high reaches full throttle.

Your eyes growing wider with each step forward.

The vision of the tea set next to him along with the plate of your manju edibles—the now almost empty plate—confirms your fears.

Only one solitary piece remained.

Nervously, you kneel near Sukuna’s feet, your back perfectly straight and your arms extended in front of you. Forcing yourself into an overly formal position to avoid fidgeting any more than you already are.

A tense silence settles between you both—well, tense for you. 

Sukuna seems perfectly content to bask in your discomfort. 

You swallow, unsure how to start.

Even if he wasn’t a malevolent ancient cursed sorcerer, telling someone they’ve been accidentally dr*gged was never going to be a pleasant conversation. 

Although, you still do your best to be covert in your inspection of him—no sense in telling him he’d been dr*gged at all if he wasn’t actually high.

Sukuna on the other hand is growing impatient with your nervous energy. 

When he finally speaks, you’re nearly jumping out of your own skin. 

“Why are your eyes so red, brat? Don’t tell me you’ve been fucking crying again? Is the time of your moon cycle upon us already?”

Did this man for real just ask you if you were on your period!?!?

Exhaling deeply out of your nose, you give him a polite, yet clipped, reply.

“Just allergies, m’lord.”

You wanted to tell him off so bad but you didn’t want to piss him off more than necessary, considering the circumstances. Besides, you were certain your eyes were red as hell right now from being high for the last three hours. So in order to control your temper, you proceed to gaslight yourself into thinking that, for someone like Sukuna, this was a logical assumption to make.

The thought stops you from cussing him out at the very least.

However, Sukuna is astute enough to know you’re lying.

Truthfully, he’d only made the comment to rile you up.  

Not only were you a horrible liar to begin with—but everything from your clenched knuckles, to the way you gnaw on your inner cheek to contain your sass, are all dead giveaways.

Those facts withstanding, Sukuna could tell by the subtle shift in the scent of your intoxicating pheromones alone if you were on your moon cycle or not. 

And it was far too late into summer for it to be allergies.

No, something is on your mind. 

Something you didn’t want to come right out and tell him. 

Not that he tended to care at all about any of your silly concerns, but seeing you had seeked him out in such a frazzled state has him curious.

What other than him could get his favorite lil’ human this upset?

Sukuna immediately loses the little remaining interest he has in his book, all of his interest now focused on you.

His evil grin widens.

“Then is ‘just allergies’ to blame for placing the notion in your dizzy little head that I wanted to be fucking bothered with your presence right now? Or are you telling me ‘allergies’ is a new modern term for sluts wanting dick?”

Son of a bi—and see this is exactly why you actively avoided him when you’re not fucking him! 

Sukuna was obnoxiously insufferable to be around when he wasn’t giving you toe-curling, heart-stopping, vision-blinding orgasms. You surely would have at least tried to escape by now if it wasn’t for that—well, that and the fact he did have a literal palace and you no longer had to have a job or worry about rent, bills and all the other shit you hated about adulting. 

You weren’t treated like a princess but you pretty much had access to everything practical you could ever want. 

Although you were still working on getting a stable internet connection up in the mountains.

Yeah, no, Sukuna wasn’t a bum by any means and you could surely do a lot worse than a mean, forever-grumpy, ancient asshole.

Sigh.

However, as far as you were concerned now, you had two ways you could play this: you could fly off the handle at his intentionally crass insults or you could pay it. 

You choose the latter, knowing he would soon grow bored of you if you just shrugged off his mockery, ignoring him. 

You just need to buy yourself a bit more time to tell for sure if he was high or not. Then you could fuck off and enjoy the remainder of your own high as you wouldn’t be getting stoned for a while now.

Thanks to him eating all your stash.

“Uhhh, no m’lord. I-I just wanted to know how you enjoyed the manju I made. I filled them with matcha and adzuki beans…It was my first time baking them.”

Oh? 

You still wanted to play games?

Sukuna’s gaze darkens at the chance to pick at you more. The more you would lie and beat around the bush the more Sukuna wanted to press your buttons. 

Never getting bored of pissing you off, angering you was his second favorite pastime. You made it too easy to wind you up like a coil until you snapped like a little twig in his grasp. 

All so he had an excuse to do his actual favorite pastime—punishing you. 

Lacking any sort of discipline, you were more of a hot head than he was at times—which was saying something. Sukuna loved to bring you to the very limits of your sanity with his taunting of you. Only so he could watch you helplessly thrash beneath him, frustrated that you could never beat nor overpower him. 

You were a curious little sorcerer who got off on edging death which was apparent from how your fiery anger quickly sparked into shameless arousal, like the massive cockslut you are. You’d be cursing Sukuna to hell before begging him to take you along for the ride.

In turn, Sukuna would bully both of your tight greedy holes, mesmerized by your filthy cunt creaming enough to soil a puddle onto any surface he happen to fuck you on. 

You had to have been a succubus in a past life. 

His sexual appetites were immense but you were nearly insatiable yourself. Fucked out and trembling, with your eyes barely open, you’d never stop pleading him for more until he’d fuck you unconscious. 

Nevertheless, in this lifetime you were a pitifully weak sorcerer in comparison to him—however you could be considered ‘special grade’ if ranked solely on your ability to take dick. 

Truly, your best quality and what has kept you alive thus far. 

At least that’s what Sukuna would tell himself when the thought of you dead leaves him feeling restless and agitated. It’s why he never lets you leave the palace grounds other than with Uraume on their occasional visits into Tokyo. 

Sukuna had deemed you too weak to be left to your own devices outside of his palace.

You were his plaything, to do with as he pleased—and right now, he wanted to make you absolutely lose your shit.

From the way your aura bristled, it was clear you just needed one final push.

And so, Sukuna pushed.

“HA! I could tell—”

On the verge of unraveling altogether, your brow twitches as you count backwards from a hundred in your mind to calm down—another bullshit coping mechanism from your soon-to-be-fired therapist.

100…99…98…

“—thought you filled those manju with horse shit.”

97…9—

Never failing to take the bait, you wouldn’t disappoint him this time either. 

Jumping up, you wobbled on your feet but that didn’t stop you from stomping your foot in indignation with enough force to make the old wooden floorboards creak.

“THEN WHY IN THE EVERLOVING FUCK DID YOUR BIG HUNGRY ASS PRACTICALLY EAT THREE DOZEN OF THEM!?” 

From the looks of it Sukuna was perfectly fucking fine—like you had figured he’d be. 

This had proven to be a complete waste of your time even checking on him. The brief encounter had done nothing but fuck up the remainder of your high since he wanted to be such an ornery bastard about everything.

Forgetting all about your plan to not piss him off, instead you flip him off, storming away. 

“LIKE THEY DON’T EVEN AFFECT YOU?! WHAT A FUCKING WA—”

Like a blur Sukuna rises as his four arms extend to ensnare you.

However lucky for you, you sense him in time to dod—wait… did you just dodge him!? 

No, that's not right he must have missed.

Huh?

HE FUCKING MISSED!?

Whipping your body around, you face him. 

Your wide confused eyes meet his own puzzled gaze, one that you notice is turning increasingly more red by the second to extend beyond just the color of his pupils. 

You don’t even have the time to appreciate how adorably ridiculous the expression is on him before the realization hits—

—OHHHH SHIT—SUKUNA IS HIGH AS FUCK!!!

He likely hadn’t moved from that spot since he so gluttonously devoured your entire tray of edibles. In turn, as is with the nature of getting high, if you are sitting or laying down while you partake, you often don’t realize exactly how baked you are until you finally stand up. 

And from the looks of it the high had just hit him like a fucking semi-truck.

Sukuna was absolutely lit.

Staggering in his stance, a look of surprise is on both of your features. You were for certain Sukuna would have fallen to the ground if not for his hand catching onto the wall beside him. 

His awkward movements are akin to someone suddenly realizing how bulky and inconvenient it was to be approaching 8-feet-tall with four massive arms.

“O-Ohhhh my god, Ohhhh my fucking god! Y-You can actually get high!?!”

Thoroughly gagged, your hands fly to cover your mouth. Always one for inappropriate reactions at awkward and improper times, you can’t suppress your snorts of laughter as the reality of him actually being high settles in. 

Sukuna on the other hand is currently fighting a losing battle with vertigo to find steady footing. His bloodshot eyes take on a more deadly appearance as his pupils glow red in fury to match. 

“W-What the fuck did you do, woman?!”

Did he just stutter too!? 

Oh shit this was too good. 

You cursed yourself for not having your phone on you, but knew better to bring a phone around Sukuna. He’d broken your phones one too many times because he wouldn’t admit he was more jealous of you paying attention to your talking clock (it was TikTok) than him.

Yet at the same time, his accusations that any of this is your fault piss you off further. 

“ME!? I’m not the one who just smashed over 3000 grams of weed! Pretty sure that much would even take down a fucking elephant!!”

In response, Sukuna growls as his cursed energy discharges off of him in erratic waves. Yet the intensity is not nearly as oppressive as you knew it could be.

The weed is clearly having an effect on him. 

“Watch how you speak to your King, brat. I won’t warn you again.”

Dripping with sarcasm you bow dramatically. 

“Oh no, how could I forget my place, Sukuna! How about you ask next time before you just gobble up all my shit? Then this wouldn’t have even happened!” 

When bickering with him, you often dropped all formalities which always got you into deeper trouble.

“S-SHUT THE FUCK UP!!”

CRACK~!

Wood splintered around Sukuna, falling to the ground in a heap. Sukuna had unintentionally misfired a cleave right through the wall next to you and effectively remodeled his chambers to extend into the next room over.

A few strands of your hair get caught in the crossfires and they float in the air beside you, along with the various debris from the wall. 

It’s becoming quite apparent that while high, Sukuna struggles to keep his immense cursed energy in-check and it fluctuates to match his temper. 

The look of shock on your face mirrors Sukuna's, who is now staring at his hand as if he had grown a sixth finger. It’s not a finger though, it's his eye from the face on his hand, bloodshot and red. That's when Sukuna notices the eyes on his face are also bloodshot, perfectly matching yours.

“ASSHOLE! What if that fucking hit me?!”

“Well, you sure as fuck wouldn’t be alive to be screeching at me right now, woman…”

You were seething. 

How is everyone still treating this like it's your fault!?

“No one told you to eat all my edibles, King Big Back!”

Sukuna growled at your insults even if he didn’t really understand them. 

He was huge—of course he had a big back…? 

Your words, which Sukuna deems nonsensical, only make him dizzier and amplified the almost out of body experience he was currently in. Clearly the fault of your so-called “edibles”, Sukuna couldn’t remember the last time he felt so out of sync with himself as he leaned against what was left of the structure.

Not since he’d first adjusted to being a cursed object in his very first host. 

“Well fuck me then, for not realizing you were brewing poison, witch.”

“Yeah fuck you, because its just a plant! A harmless little plant! Didn’t they have hemp back in your pre-historic era, you old fossil?!”

Sukuna growls at your insults, but nonetheless considers your words.

Of course they had hemp. 

Being practically native to Japan it was utilized in many trades, but this had to be a different variety of the plant. Sukuna never heard of it being consumed, as the plant had more pragmatic uses for clothing and tools. 

“For practical use, woman! Not to make potions and consume like some fuckin’ degenerate.”

Your eyes narrowed. 

Sukuna of all people calling anyone else a degenerate was rich. 

“For the last time Kuna—it's not any kind of poison or potion! You’re supposed to be immune to toxins, remember?”  

Sukuna growls once more. 

True, poisons had no effect on him. 

If what he consumed was in fact just a plant, and nothing imbued with venom nor curses, then perhaps this didn’t make the cut? 

Although Sukuna is sure the after-consumption effect has to be akin to something poisonous, since for the first time in likely what had to be a thousand years, the unfamiliar sensation of nausea crept up his throat.

Stepping back inside his chambers, he teeters unsupported on his feet before dropping down to a seated position. The uncoordinated clumsiness of his actions causes the room to shake, sending more fragments of the now-destroyed wall crumbling around the both of you.

Dare you say it, you kinda… feel bad for him?

Sure you were still pissed at him, and in no way were you about to accept responsibility for this…but in this state he looked sort of, well, pathetic. 

You didn’t think you’d ever be using that word to describe Sukuna, who’d time and again proved to be more fearsome than the beasts of nightmares. 

Yet at the moment he was definitely giving off more sad Hello Kitty vibes, rather than a monstrous primordial tiger. All four eyes on his face were dilated to comical proportions and the tired scowl he wore was more akin to a toddler’s pout.

It was… cute?

Upon further appraisal, as he sits with arms and legs crossed like a child after a tantrum, you decide he definitely looks cute.

And dare you say even—baby girl?

Not like you could ever tell him that though. 

You’re sure if you called him that, no matter how weak and uncoordinated he was now, Sukuna would somehow muster the willpower to wring your head right off your pretty little neck. 

Regardless, having Sukuna be so weakened, even temporarily, was unsettling to say the very least. 

“I-I really didn’t think you would eat them, Kuna. You don’t even like human food!”

Your voice takes on a more apologetic tone as you begin to inch over to him. 

Dropping down on all fours, you cautiously crawl closer bit by bit in a similar fashion as to how one would a wounded beast you were scared might lash out—even if you were only trying to help it.

“I don’t ever fucking recall saying that, brat.”

Sukuna hisses but the fatigue was clear in his tone.  The bite in his words hardly evoked the blood-curdling fear he was so easily capable of under normal circumstances.

Sukuna closes his eyes in exasperation, which consequently has you rolling yours. 

Bulllllllshit!

Every single thing that man tried, he hated!

Well, every single modern thing. 

Oh fuck, they had manju back then too, huh?

Stopping once you are directly in front of him, you peer up at him with big doe eyes, sweet and apologetic.

But Sukuna isn’t falling for it—or he didn’t want to at least. 

Cracking open an eye at you before closing it again, Sukuna turns away from you, nose upturned. 

Urgh, what a big diva! 

You almost want the normal, insanely irritating, Sukuna back instead of the blitzed sassy creature before you—almost.

“Listen Kuna, you did eat a whole shit load... More than any grown ass man I’ve ever seen to be honest…”

You shook your head and mumbled the last part under your breath, ignoring his sassy gripes, as he definitely still heard you.

“Ok, so I have literally zero clue as to how long your high will last… but I mean hmm… why don’t you try RCT?”

Sukuna stares daggers at your sheepish expression. 

You had to be an idiot.

If Sukuna could focus his cursed energy enough for RCT he would have fucking done it already! Not to mention, take his sweet time in punishing you too. However, all that would have to wait until the disorienting effect wore off enough to make that possible.

For now though, Sukuna just wants to be alone.

This 'weed' was having strange effects on him, he is growing inexplicably nervous to be in your presence for some ridiculous reason.

“Leave.”

“Nope.”

All four of Sukuna’s eyes flare and stare you down the best they can through his red-eye squints.

“I gave you an order, brat. I won't ask again.”

Sukuna tried his best to deliver his threats in the bone-chilling tone he was so well known for, but it falls flat, yet again, thanks to him being higher than a pair of perky tits. 

His frown, and thereby his pout, intensifies at his current ineffectiveness.

“I can’t just leave you though, Kuna…”

Thinking him docile enough, you slowly crawl into his lap and thread your arms between the two sets of his own, gazing up adoringly at him. Sukuna allows you to do so without fuss, although he doesn’t return your embrace nor does he look at you. 

His own head swirls too much—especially with how his skin begins to tingle just from the sensation of your warm body pressing against his. 

“You need me! What if we were to get attacked by jujutsu sorcerers right now? I’d have to protect you!”

You don’t even try to suppress your giggles this time when your body is shaken by the disgruntled rumbles from his chest.

“Tch—with the few measly crumbs of cursed energy you do possess, you can’t even protect your own fucking self—”

“Hey!”

“—so if that happens, then were both royally fucked.”

Okay, so you weren’t anything close to a super strong special grade sorcerer. But you think you’d be somewhere around grade 1 now, so you could hold your own against most!

At least enough for you both to escape! 

You’d only really be in trouble if that sexy white-haired blue-eyed sorcerer, Gojo Satoru, showed up. Although from the way he winked at you the last time you saw him, saying ‘you’d be prettier as a Jujutsu High teacher instead of one of Sukuna’s lackeys’, you’re pretty sure if you flirted hard enough you’d be okay at least.

Still, you actually liked living with Sukuna a lot more than you cared to admit. Moreover, ‘Jujutsu High teacher’ would qualify as you having to work an actual job—yeah nah, fuck that. 

You’d stay with your ancient asshole, thank you very much.

Bringing your attention back to Sukuna, who had since closed his eyes to keep the room from spinning, you poked a finger into his cheek.

Sukuna ignores you, but you persist.

Your little finger presses deeper and deeper until a mouth forms on his skin to snap at you, causing you to snatch your hand back before you lose said finger. 

“Worry about protecting yourself, brat! You’re aware when this wears off, I’m going to fucking rip you apart and feed you to the mouth on my stomach limb by limb.”

Unphased, you flirtatiously bat your lush lashes as one of your hands slipped through his robes to caress the spot where his mouth forms. 

“Awe Kuna, if you have the munchies that badly and want me to ride your stomach again—all you have to do is ask. I’ll let you eat me right up.”

His abs clenched ever so slightly from your touch.

“Urgh, woman, you should go enjoy the last hours of your life while you still can…”

His threat dissolves into grumbles, still making no attempt to push you off.

Well, if you were in fact about to go to glory as soon as Sukuna could control his powers again—you might as well enjoy yourself while you still can.

“Yeah, yeah, Kuna—but until that happens just relax, okay?  Let’s have some fun, eh? That’s the whole point of being high in the first place!”

Sukuna rolls his eyes but allows you to push him back to the floor. His body feels so heavy and laying down was so much more agreeable than sitting up in his condition.

Still, he couldn’t see how this out-of-body-like experience could be fun. 

Fun for Sukuna was killing. 

Sukuna enjoyed most of his thrills relishing in the screams of his victims as he bathed in their blood which poured so liberally through his deadly claws. 

He even has a pool of blood for god sake!

Well had—until you nagged him pretty much to death, complaining that you couldn’t be expected to bathe in the garden koi pond. As a result, Sukuna had Uraume restore the hotspring to its original state —if only to get you to shut the fuck up.

Hn, now that he considers it, you are way too much fucking trouble than your crazy-ass, tight-ass, lil’ cunt was worth—his current predicament being the ultimate testament to that.

“This isn’t fun.”

It’s your turn to smirk as you straddle him.

“It will be!”

For me at least. 

You don’t say that last part out loud though.

You’re smiling down at Sukuna playfully, pulling your tank top from overhead to reveal your simple pink cotton bra with little flowers printed on them.

Sukuna, who had since draped an arm over his face, regards you skeptically from under his muscular limb with his lower set of eyes.

“And just what do you think you’re doing now, brat?”

“What does it look like asshole? I’m gonna fuck you.”

“And if I tell your bratty ass to fuck off and die?”

“Well, for one—it’s not like you can stop me. And two—when has me saying ‘no’ ever stopped you?”

You stare down at him sweetly.

“Slut.” 

Sukuna snarls, turning his head in a huff once again.

Checkmate.

This was the ultimate win as far as you’re concerned. 

Sukuna had his way with you entirely when you fucked. He was always in control—of everything. Not that the slutty masochist in you ever minded, but you wanted a turn to be the dominant one for once and control his pleasure.

Hell, if you knew marijuana would have this much of an effect on him you would have given him some sooner! 

Besides, you could tell by the way his robes rose on the lower half of his body he was already feeling its euphoric effects. 

Yet you had no idea just how much. 

Sukuna’s already inhuman perception intensifies the experience a hundredfold. His limbs are heavy, as if the floor might give way, libel to sink into the very earth at any moment.

Staring out into the garden, he could see everything in vividly intense hypervision through his dilated orbs.

Every rustle of the leaves, every movement of even the smallest creatures, and every particle in the air took on a lustrous sheen. All his senses were in overdrive, creating a strange euphoria vibrating through his body, suspending him in time—that is until your honeyed voice snapped him out of it.

“Hi~ Look at me, Kuna~~”

Soft hands cup his large face, bringing his sights back to you. Sukuna emits a disapproving grunt, or at least he thinks he does.

He’s not entirely sure. 

With his attention now focused on you, everything else in the world seems to still.

The anxious throbs in his chest seem to prolong each beat, as if his heart might stop altogether. Sukuna concludes that these palpitations and irregular rhythms must be a side effect of the plant.

Has to be.

It certainly wasn’t the way the light of golden hour shimmered on your skin so radiantly, like an otherworldly ethereal creature only seen at dusk—making him feel like he was the inferior mortal in your presence. 

“Don’t float away on me…”

Your voice, filled with angelic mirth, tickles his ears while your fingers gently card through his hair.

Sukuna bites his tongue, drawing out thick, viscous red liquid to suppress the needy purrs bubbling in his throat from your doting caresses.

How could he be the one to float away when you had the appearance of one who had descended from the sky? 

Sukuna's lower set of hands unconsciously brace your thighs like a vice, as if to anchor you and prevent you from levitating away from him.

Goddamn, if not some potion, you had to have cast some twisted spell. 

Everything about you right now was enthralling to him.

Has your skin always been this silky?

Sukuna succeeds in remaining quiet, yet fails in keeping his lower half controlled, involuntarily bucking his hips. His eagerness apparent, you rub your clothed mound over his twin cocks that stiffen beneath you.

Your hands skillfully loosen the knots in his obi to uncover his firm abs and ritualistic tattoos already covered in a sheen layer of perspiration.

Sukuna’s breath hitches when your fingernails graze over his sensitive exposed nipples. 

“Watch it, brat.”

But he sounds so far away now, you don’t really pay him any mind.

You are lost in enjoying some of the far less intense, but still lingering, effects of your own high. 

Humming a saccharine tune, your head tilts back as you relish the pleasurable strain in your inner thighs just from having them span over his broad pelvis. The melody serves as an accompaniment to the steady rhythm of your hips, unraveling him more by the second.

When your eyes do open again, you observe the strain evident across Sukuna’s sharp features. 

You simper, wondering how long Sukuna could hold on before he fell apart completely underneath you?  

Picking up tips from the royal headache himself on how to press buttons, you taunt Sukuna with your coos.

“Are ya still mad at me, Daddy?”

You’re pouting but your mischief is evident, twinkling brightly behind your eyes.

Sukuna’s own eyes narrowed at your boldness. 

You just loved calling him ‘Daddy’ like the filthy whore you are—lacking in any sort of couth.

This whole situation was infuriating for him. 

And as such, Sukuna wants to be mad at you—to teach you a lesson, to have you meet your death at his own powerful hands—but alas—his own body betrays him. 

Your still sparkling aura exacerbates his intoxicated frustrations along with his more carnal desires as euphoria rushes through him. 

His nostrils flare when the candied perfume of your sinful little cunt—already soaked untouched—saturates the air.

Fucking hell—he could practically taste you on his tongue.

“Just get on with it then, if you think you can, woman—”

Giving your rear a firm smack, Sukuna hurries you along.

“—although, I’m sure your weakling ass will give up and be begging me to fuck you within the first minute.”

You roll your eyes. 

Even in spite of his breath laboring slightly, along with minor twitching spasms of his thighs underneath you—he’s still acting tough.

“Hmm, we’ll see about that. Won’t we, Daddy?”

Sticking your tongue out at him, you hop up to kick off your slippers. You take your time in removing your shorts though, hands sensually sliding them down, giving him a little show. 

All four of his eyes follow the provocative sway of your hips intently, just the same as the one time you showed Sukuna what a lap dance was. 

Of course he’d enjoyed it. 

However, where’d you fucked up was mentioning how your previous lovers had enjoyed it too—because your twerking had lasted all of 20 seconds. Sukuna had then pinned you down, growling as he called you all manners of vulgar slut-whore. The result was you limping for the next 2 days, fuck harder than he ever had previously, angered by the thought of you ever having done that for anyone else.

However, as much as you wanted to take your time torturing him for once, you were too selfish to deny yourself. The thought of you having control when fucking him has you dripping. 

Settling back on top of him, you’re on all fours facing towards his cocks. Giving Sukuna a prime view of your pussy in those cheeky pieces of fabric you called undergarments.

This wasn’t a typical view for Sukuna, who was used to looking down at you when you sucked him off from a kneeling position—so he could see exactly how those fat tears would well in your eyes as he ruined your throat when he forced your head even further down.

But this view wasn’t so bad. The growing wet spot on your panties confirms his nose had been accurate. However, you do look every bit of the fiendish whore that you are, getting so wet for him when he hadn’t even touched you.

You’re in your own world though and you audibly gasp upon peeling back the lower half of his robes. Taken aback by the thick globs of pre that gather at the very tip of his engorged cockheads. His essence pools in the folds of his foreskin until no more fluid could be contained, overflowing down his uncut length. 

You’d never seen him this leaky before.

Your pillowy lips experimentally blow cool air across both tips and Sukuna hisses as his cocks twitch in your hands. Wasting no time, your tongue deviantly flattens as you lick up the trail of dribble that ran down his upper shaft. 

His lower cock was hardly forgotten as your thumb completely uncovers the hidden tip. The well of pre spilling from him allows you to more easily pump his slightly girthier length in circular motions while you continue to salaciously suckle the other.

Sukuna unwillingly rewards you with an audible grunt of pleasure.

“Hnng—Y-You’re a fuckin’ cocktease! S-Suck me right, whore!”

You giggle at his faltering voice and Sukuna smacks your ass in response. His heavy hand still stings your skin even in his weakened state, making you all the wetter. 

For each kitten lick, a slap to one of your plump cheeks rings through his chamber. 

Sukuna is captivated by the way your flesh molds to his touch. He kneads each of your cheeks in his giant hands, leaving them warm and tingling. 

The abuse to your rear goes straight to your pussy. You forget for a second that it's Sukuna, and not yourself, who is supposed to be the subservient one in this situation.

“Hurry up, brat! You seriously think a half-assed job like that is enough for me to cum?”

In response to his provocations, your warm breath salivates over his swollen glands before entirely engulfing his upper cock.

Pulling off of him with a pop you alternate taking the other one into your mouth. Sukuna flinches as you swirl your tongue around his lengths. Vacuuming your lips, you alternate between the two twin cocks.

Sukuna grits his teeth. 

He had taught you to take him completely, although he always forced your throat open. He was genuinely surprised that you could do it on your own, which, to be honest, you probably couldn't have done without the weed relaxing the muscles in your neck and throat.

That’s when you hear it—the tiniest of whines—but a whine nonetheless.

“HA! See!—Kunaaaa, did you actually—”

If you could have seen his face you would have giggled at the pink that lightly dusted his features. Regardless, Sukuna isn’t one to take being bested lightly. 

Sukuna hooks a finger through the crotch of your panties, yanking up roughly. From this angle, the effect only puts tension on your pussy—tugging your panties taunt and compressing your clit. You keen loudly as you release his cocks, no longer able to focus on getting him off.

“FUUHHHHCK!”

One hand keeps your panties pulled taut, another hovers over the most heat of your core, lazily rubbing over your covered entrance. Your ever increasing wet spot has him in a trance like state as it spreads to take over your entire crotch area, dampening his fingers.

RIIIIIIIP!

Sukuna tears your underwear clean off, shredding them, 

Damn. Those were one of your favorite pairs of lounging panties too! 

You're ready to tell him off but you never get the chance as two large fingers bully their way into your pussy, leaving you sobbing.

Even over the vulgar sloshing of your sloppy hole, you can audibly hear a rough moan from Sukuna as your core constricts around his burly fingers. Your hands and knees tremble violently as you struggle to maintain your balance.

Sukuna’s tactile sensations at its peak, he is in awe of how well your gummy walls suck his thick digits in further. The velvety ridges of your cunt was like an incubator of fiery heat—a heat that may even rival that of his own divine flame technique.

“W-Waiiiiiiit—N-No fair, K-Kuna!”

Of course, your pleading slurs go unheeded. 

Like a mortal who had dipped his hand into a heavenly jar of warm ambrosia, the allure of your cunt in his intoxicated state is bewitching to say the very least. Sukuna’s hyperfixation is focused on a single-minded mission to dig out more and more milky nectar from your convulsing lil’ hole.

Your searing walls clench down when a sharp nail grazes your g-spot. Crying out, your eyes sink back into your head and your slick pours down the length of his muscular forearm.

Sukuna enjoys making a mess of you. 

Your fluids splash across his broad chest, arms and a bit even reaches his face—mouth forming on his cheek to greedily lick up your remains.

Even with limited control over his own faculties, Sukuna was still able to turn you into a quivering mess.

Dammit! You were supposed to be the one in control! 

You can only weakly grasp at his cocks as the motions of his fingers switch from languid exploratory strokes to fast pumps, adding a third finger and pressing a thumb into the rim of your puckered hole.

Stirring up your insides, Sukuna, to be frank, isn’t doing it for your reactions but for your pussy’s. 

Mind clouded, Sukuna fully dissociates once again in his enchantment of you, he doesn’t even realize you aren’t sucking him off any longer. He is much too distracted by every response your gooey cunt gifts him.

If anyone had asked him, in his utterly toked state, Sukuna would have sworn your cunt was actually squelching out full sentences. Sukuna, of course —fully fluent in ‘Cuntanese’—understands her with sparkling clarity.

She wanted more, to cum even harder. 

She’s so fucking warm, so creamy, so lewd—all for him.

Becoming more sloppy and unaware in his actions, Sukuna’s growling increases. His current frustrations centered on needing to see more of your creamy slick spurt out of you. 

Somehow all four of his hands are covered in your essence now. The hands with fingers not inside your pussy or rimming your ass, spread your cheeks wider, holding them up as the remaining one pinches your clit crudely. 

Helplessly, ass up, you lay your head down on one of his upper thighs. You drag your nails alongside his hips hoping to disrupt his daze, but on the contrary, it does nothing but spur on Sukuna’s mania further. 

The both of you being high made the situation that much worse. 

Sukuna’s fingers drive you towards oblivion, crashing into ecstasy. The edges of your vision smoldered, blurring your sight. You aren’t sure if the sun had finally set and the stars you saw were in the sky or behind your own lids, momentarily disassociating from pure pleasure. 

With a scream, you cum for the second time, your eyes locked behind your skull and your legs spasming as waves of pleasure make your hips twitch uncontrollably.

Holy fuck!!! You’d never cum that hard while high before! 

Sukuna finally snaps out of his enthralled reverie, only to discover you’ve been reduced to a mere puddle on his torso. Your holes are agape and swollen from his brutality, glistening with fluids that hadn’t stopped dripping onto him yet.

You practically see his smug grin, a fang poking out from his lips, just from his smarmy tone.

“Heh—giving up that easy just from a couple fingers in your cunny, brat? Thought you were gonna fuck me?”

You whine. Even if his own voice sounded a bit strained it was nothing compared to your own condition. Yet despite your rubbery limbs, you muster the strength to push your jellied body up—determined to have your way with him. 

Sukuna chuckles at your persistence.

The mouth on his stomach opens to lap away at the remains of your squirt on his torso and your slick-coated thighs. The thick slimy tongue has you jolting forward with a rippling moan when it flicks over your sensitive clit.

“Heh, woman, you look like shit.”

HA! How are you going to fuck him when you could barely be touched without shaking? 

Sukuna guess you’ll be tapping out before the first round is over, tch—of course you’d need him to take over. 

Testing his condition, Sukuna raises his head only to be immediately slammed with vertigo rushing psychedelic colors behind his eyes. He curses lowly to himself, still pissed the plant is having this much of an effect on him.

Sukuna makes a promise to himself that he will in fact kill you, iif you leave him blue balled because of this. The high causes his cocks to ache more than ever.

“Tch—If you’re going to do it, then do it. Fuck me then, ya nasty lil’ slut.”

Sukuna was right, you are a slut.

Fucked out by his fingers or not, your still aching pussy wouldn’t be satisfied until she was stuffed full of him.

But it would still be on your terms.

Sukuna looks at you expectantly, waiting for you to move and feigning boredom. 

However, his mood turns to annoyance though when he notices you only plan to take his bottom cock, he didn’t work that ass of yous ass open for nothing. 

“BRAT—”

“—SHUT IT and let me concentrate if you wanna get your nut!”

You do quiet him though, once you manage to squeeze his thick cockhead into your cunt. Pussy clenching around his tip like a vacuum suction, you hear Sukuna slurp a thick wad of spit through his teeth as he grinds down on them. 

It was cute, him trying not to react to you, That serves as enough encouragement to keep you from mentally succumbing to the monstrous girth entering you—for now at least.

Easing yourself lower on his fat girth, you’re panting, tongue out and hips quivering just from getting the head of him inside.

You’d learned to take him well enough, but that was when he was the one bullying himself into you. Having to mount him yourself was daunting to say the least. Only halfway in and your guts are shifting while moisture burns the corners of your eyes.

This was the exact reason you chose not to take in both his cocks. 

You would struggle enough with just one of them. 

His cock inside you, already pressed against your cervix, he is almost 3/4ths in and you have no idea how you will manage the rest. Suddenly wondering if Sukuna uses some kind of curse technique to fit all of him inside you without skewing your organs.

“Shiiiiit, f-fuckin’ dummy thick monster c-cock, this b-big for no f-fuckin’ reason…”

You mumble to yourself, clearly floundering.

Sukuna smirks at your labored efforts but his mask cracks as you finally surrender to gravity and bottom out on him—the resulting cry from him is somewhere between a growl and a whine. 

That was the end of resistance for Sukuna. 

His ultra-sensitive cock twitching in the sweltering embrace of your gummy walls, convinced his dick might melt off then and there—the heat, he decided, was most definitely hotter than his divine flames.

Once nside you, Sukuna returns his bruising grip to your hips. His trembling fingers betray the fact he still doesn’t have the capacity to regain control anytime soon. 

Exhaling your own shaky breath, legs under you, you lean back. One of your arms reaching back to plant on his muscular thigh, the other pressing his unattended shaft into the soft curves of your belly, adjusting yourself so its base brushes up against your clit. 

Your warmth welcomes his unsheathed cock like a soft pillow and he’s biting his lips again, blood trickling down his chin.

Although he’s still leaking more than enough pre for lubricant, you still dip your head forward momentarily to drop a large wad of dribble on the cock nestled against your curves. 

Your perverse acts are the cherry on top for Sukuna, who keens out a moan so loud, so needy and pathetic, it has your own toes curling. Fueling you to milk more from him as you bring down your hips harder, morphing The Curse King to goop beneath you.

Your own whimpers are just as obscene from the sight of his length extending past your belly button. It was surreal to see a distinct outer visual of just how deep his inner cock is inside you, you could feel them press together through your skin.

God, he was nearly in your ribs.

“S-Shiiiiiiit—M-MOVE! Ya f-fuckin’ dumbass brat!”

Sukuna yells at you, speech slurring, as his nails prick into your skin slightly. 

You chose not to sass him this time though, too needy for it as well. 

Establishing a rhythm, if you had the capacity to imagine anything beyond how his cock was spearing you open between your thighs—you might have mused that any curses in his palace—Uraume especially, must be absolutely terrified at what has their fearsome master is sobbing so wretchedly.

You’re thrilled at the idea of having transformed the most powerful cursed sorcerer into the crumbling virgin-like man beneath you. 

You feel your body tremble as his swollen member throbs intensely inside you, causing you to sense the rhythmic pulsation of his heart resonating deeply within your being. Sukuna's face, usually composed, now displays an unexpectedly stressed expression, which only adds to his adorableness.

Yet, your own eyes were crossing so bad you couldn’t even enjoy your victory like you want. 

Desperately moaning, you’re lifting yourself up and down, riding him in earnest as you fuck yourself dumb on his huge girth. Just one of Sukuna’s cocks were so intoxicating and you realized, the privilege of actually having him fuck you instead of you doing the work.

In order to guarantee both of your pleasures. 

But you are hardly giving up—slippery fluids create delicious friction as his top cock also slides over your swollen clit.  Your tits bounce lively every time your tight soggy pussy devours his cock back down to the base. The sound of skin slapping echoes throughout the room, only overshadowed by Sukuna's unusual cries of pleasure. 

Your inner thighs ache from exertion but you are in the zone now. You’ve willingly become your own torturer as you impale yourself on him. 

Mind floating away as you treat his cock thrusted against your belly like a fidget toy. Your nails mindlessly rim the edges of his foreskin before grasping the tip of his cockhead, sliding the last bit of skin down to fully expose his angry bulbous tip. You squeeze him tightly while your other hand comes from behind you to pump the base. 

While Sukuna’s lower hands still desperately hang on to your hips, he's since thrown one of his upper hands over his face much to his chagrin. The other, claws fully extended, proceeds to tear up the tatami matting of his floor. 

Sukuna’s pitchy whimpers and badly suppressed whines have you so hot you forget yourself once again. Chasing your own pleasure, you pump his upper cock like slippery reigns as you ride him. 

And that is exactly what breaks him. 

Peeking out from under his forearm, Sukuna observes how your head is like a bobble, lulling with your movements as your slackened jaw so dumbly seeps drool down your body. All thought leaving your silly little head, babbling nonsensical coos and praises for his big cock ruining you.

Despite not being in control, Sukuna still feels a strange wave of warmth spread in his chest from watching you fuck yourself completely fucking stupid on him. The feeling instantly has his balls tightening, resulting in his upper cock twitching so violently that it even catches your fucked out attention. 

You glance down just as his engorged length finally relieves itself, spurting out a geyser of cum all over you.

Sukuna releases a moan that is husky, deep and guttural—quite literally guttural—as he had just moaned from the mouth on his stomach. His upper cock is still spraying a hefty load of cum that covers your stomach, thighs and some even shooting up to hit you right below your eye. 

Your eyes widen.

“Did you just moan from your tummy!?”

You’re hardly in the position to tease him though, disheveled and covered in his sticky essence.

You were quite the mess in your own right—heh, but you still weren’t the first to cum! 

Sukuna glares at you, panting through his scowl with watery eyes.

Leaning forward, you continue to taunt him, keeping your hand firmly around his now flaccid member. Sukuna flinches and hisses, attempting to swat your hands away, but he finds himself even more weakened than before, unable to pry you away.

“Hmm, are you trying to tell me you prefer my hands over my pussy?l Or are you just this much of a slut for getting your nasty foreskin played with, Daddy?”

His lower cock pulses at your words, still painfully hard inside you, reminding you of your own needs. You don’t wait for Sukuna’s response before you’re back bouncing on him with increased fervor, pulling at your neglected tits and still giving him shit.

“C’mon Daddy, talk to me. You love it when your lil’ slut rides you while she’s all sticky, covered in your cum, yeah?”

For emphasis your fingers swirl shapes into the streaks of spunk on your belly, sloppily writing out the Kanji for “Sukuna” over your womb.

Sukuna’s face beet red from the anger and shame of having been reduced to a mere plaything for you.

Writing his name on you with his cum!? Fuckin’ debased, foul, nasty wh—

“Oh my, you’re backed up, Daddy. I can feel you twitching—a-ah!”

You snap him out of the turmoil of his thoughts with the lazy lust-filled evil saturated in your voice as you moan out more torturous, mind melting words for Sukuna.

“Y-ou’re gonna have to tell me before you cum, Kuna, kay? You spray this much inside me, with this thick monstrous cock of yours—you’ll get me pregnant, ya know. You wouldn’t want that—or do you?”

Your fingers play in his essence on your belly once more, circling the Kanji cum scribbles of his name branded on your skin. 

“Bet ya wanna fill my tight lil’ pussy to the brim—force me to carry your lil’ curse-spawn-terrors—make you a real daddy, Daddy. You’d like that, huh?”

Sukuna’s sweat slicked hands struggle to hold onto you, throwing his head back so he doesn’t have to look at you. 

He can’t keep you in his sights as he can’t stop the vision of you, being completely made his—belly full of his growing seed and tits full of milk—from invading his mind. 

Dizzy, Sukuna can only think with his cock as you ride him towards nirvana. He’s almost at his greatly diminished limit again, his stamina now a joke of his usual.  

Chasing your own high, you rub at your clit vigorously while you grind yourself against him. Your pussy spasming around his length that stretches you so well. Body wrecking itself with pleasure, your cries grow louder and more desperate.

So close. You’re so close. So clo—

But Sukuna is first yet again—crooning out a choked roar as he cums again, this time inside you.

With no warning....asshole.

Nevertheless, the satisfying warmth of his seed bursting against your cervix has you moaning from the overwhelmingly full feeling in your guts. Creampie frothing out of you, gathering at the base of his cock. 

You were low key surprised that you were able to goad him into doing it at all. You weren’t seriously trying to get pregnant—just tease him a bit. You didn’t know he’d be this into breeding fantasies, as even though you are on birth control Sukuna for damn sure didn't trust any human pill to stop his cursed seed, always pulling out.

“W-Woah, this makes it, what? The second time you’ve cum before me—and inside me now too!”

The streaks on Sukuna’s furious cheeks leave behind evidence of the few tears you’d managed to fuck out of him.

“Aweee Kuna, should I call ‘Baby’ now? Only babies cry and cream before Mommy does.” 

Sukuna chest heaves, staring death at you as he gives you the finger—one of the few modern gestures he’d picked up. 

You laugh, although your body winces as you slide his thick softening member out of you. 

Globs of your shared fluids drip out of you and onto his torso when you finally will yourself to stand-up over Sukuna, smugness radiating in your whole demeanor.

Desiring to remove that smug expression from your face, as well as your head, he cannot recall a time when he was defeated to such an extent since he was last imprisoned and his fingers were scattered.

Teetering on your cramping legs, you delight in your victory nonetheless. Taking your time in soaking up the image of him, grumpy, soiled, and flaccid, imprinting it in your mind to throw it in his face the next time he decides to get sassy with you.

You know he’s likely going to kill you for what you were about to do, but you’d never get a chance to do something like this again. 

Besides, he surely has weed dick now given his still flaccid cocks and you still need to come!

Sauntering to stand by his head, your soft foot presses down on his clavicle, prompting Sukuna to bare his teeth while a clawed hand comes to wrap around your ankle.

“Heel, Kuna. You still have to make me cum.”

“I don’t have to do fucking shit but make good on my promise to rip you apart once this bullshit wears off.”

You pay him no mind as your foot shifts to raise his chin, forcing him to meet your gaze while your fingers swiftly glide up your inner thighs to spread your pussy lips. His cum still trickling out from the creamy plug that is visibly filling your center. 

“Eat it.”

Sukuna looks at you skeptically, like you just lost the little remaining sanity your crazy ass had in the first place.

Who the fuck did you think you were?

To one—have him take a command from you, and two—actually think he’d let you dominate him in such a way.

Sukuna scoffs.

“Sit on my stomach and I might let you cum, brat.”

“Nuh-uh, Kuna—I wanna ride your actual face. It’s the least you can do after you came before me twice!”

Trying not to visibly wince, Sukuna was so over your nagging and constant reminders of how weak he was while high, trying to tune you out. 

“...and then inside me without warning—like you don’t give a fuck if I happen to get pregnant!”

“I don't, get pregnant.”

“I—wait…WHAT?!”

You must have heard wrong. 

Sukuna would want a lobotomy before a kid. 

He always pulled out. 

He just did not tell you to get pregnant.

No way!

Sukuna growls, he’s admittedly getting tired, but it's clear you wouldn’t give him any rest until you came once more. Well, at least with a mouth full of pussy he couldn’t say anymore wildly embarrassing shit he didn’t mean.

He really didn’t want kids, but picturing you pregnant made his dicks so unfathomably hard in the moment, it was confusing, not to mention infuriating. However, the last damned thing Sukuna wanted to do was talk about his slip up.

Left with no choice but to eat you out nasty enough for you to forget all about it.

“I SAID—If you don’t want to get pregnant, then park that ass of yours on my face, bitch.”

You bristle at Sukuna calling you a bitch, yet you let it pass once all four of his arms yank you down to sit you directly on his face, his tongue plunging straight into your gooey cunt.

And true to his skills, the conversation was the last thing on your mind, having been scrubbed of all thoughts once you felt his hot mouth consuming your sensitive flesh. 

Sukuna's tongue traces torturous circles on your clit, before grazing it with sharp canine, prompting your hands to delve into his unruly locks. The grunts that escape Sukuna's lips as you tug on his hair intensify the pleasurable tingling in your pussy, compelling you to pull even harder.

To your delight, what his primary tongue lacks in girth compared to the one on his stomach, it makes up for in dexterity. Sukuna laps, swirls and twists through your folds. His tongue darts in and out of your wet slit so vulgarly leaking his cum, sending tremors up your spine.

Choking on your whimpers, your hips can’t stop shaking and Sukuna has to brace your thighs down to keep you in place. Sukuna wasn’t about to let you run from it now, not after all the shit you put him through.

You begged to cum in his mouth—so you are going to cum in his fucking mouth.

You cry out when a hand reaches up to manhandle your chest, pinching at your nipples and rolling them between his gruff fingers.  The pair of hands on your thighs move to your ass, gripping your flesh overflowing in his grasp.

Gasping, your mouth falls open, when his fingers massage your ass, spreading it open as he tilts you back to spit into your hole. Replacing his own mouth with one on his hand as he returns his attention back to your savory lil’ cunt.

Shiiiiiit!

Feels so good, you’re so close to cumming again. Your body trembles, the fire inside you spreading from your core to your fingertips as your face contorted in pleasure.

“Su-S-Sukuna, pleeeaseee, Daddy.”

You’re not even sure what you are asking for at this point, you just want more of it. 

More of everything.

Sukuna, obliges you. 

Losing himself in your lust, his panting becomes more wet and ragged. He’s painfully aroused once again, this time simply from listening to your whiney pleas. Sukuna’s tongue digs into your cunt deeper, scooping out his own cum and devouring it along with the continuous flow of your own fluids gushing out of you.

Your taste is much sweeter, cutting the unpleasant taste of his own salty spunk, so Sukuna relentlessly sucks more out of you. 

Sukuna is so caught up in giving you pleasure, he’s completely unaware of the fact he’s now humping the air, cocks flinging pre on his abs as they sway against the imaginary friction.

“K-Kuna, I’mma—shiiiiit—cum!”

You clench a fist full of his hair, nails digging into his scalp. You continuously buck your hips forward, your clit brushing agonizingly up against his nose. Quivering, glorious waves of pleasure wash over you, Sukuna knows all your pleasure spots as he easily takes you to the very heights of your ecstasy.

Sputtering moans nonsensically, you nearly slip off Sukuna completely when you tilt back too far. You unintentionally end up choking him as you catch yourself by grasping onto his neck for support.

Sukuna, caught off guard, gags. The intense vibrations from him choking on your pussy as he heaves for air tips you right over the edge. Your world washes white as you cum, thighs and hips and convulsing. 

Outlasting you this time by a hair, Sukuna cums hard, his milky fluids jetting out from his cocks to spill onto his stomach—shooting up as far as to land on your back.

Dazed from your orgasm you don’t actually realize he'd cum again until you actually slip on the mess he’s made when you begin to climb off his face.

“D’aww, Baby done messed himself bad this time, huh?”

“Perish.”

Weariness seeps through his tone, betraying the fatigue that weighed on him after cumming even harder than the previous two times.

Silence fills the space as neither of you noticed before how the sun had long since set. The soft moonbeams were the only source of light in his chambers, illuminating the space more than usual, due to the now destroyed wall.

Your bones feel like mush but you still manage to grab Sukuna’s discarded robe, using it to somewhat wipe off your bodies. 

Sukuna doesn’t register how intensely he’s staring at you, having dissociated once more. 

His arrogance is replaced by a strange look of infatuation—well strange for him.

Sukuna is lost again, charmed by your shining aura in the lunar light. The very essence of your soul glows iridescently to him, even in darkness.

He muses there’s not a being, human nor curse, as captivating as y—TCH, THE FUCK?!

Whatever you gave him was turning him into a real fuckin’ sap, thats for damn sure. 

Sukuna needed this nightmare to be over, and have neither of you ever speak of it again.

You on the other hand are doing your best to fight the urge to bashfully shrink away. There were typically only 3 emotions that ever appeared on Sukuna’s face: brooding, predatory or straight up hostile.

Him looking at you this way is freaking you out.

“You’re a weirdo.”

Sukuna exhales, exasperated. 

He doesn’t know what to do with you. His troublesome lil’ human that, for some insane reason, he’d formed an attachment to beyond using as a cocksleeve.

“Then you’re a dumb slut who likes to fuck weirdos, brat.”

Shoving your face into his neck, you inhale the scent of his skin and your sex.

“Got me there, Daddy.”

Nibbling up to his chin, one of his arms wrap around you, bringing you impossibly closer when your teeth graze over his sweat slicked Adam's apple. 

Grinning at him, you lick up any of your essence lingering on his face.

“You know, I’m going into the city with Uraume next week—I could get some more of this shit, we could actually smoke it next time, hm?”

“You could also be a corpse scattered in a million pieces by then.”

Although Sukuna’s yawns sound more like roars, he can’t even bring himself to be annoyed at his displays of weakness any longer. The edible enhanced the stated feelings of the after sex high, amplifying it a hundred fold and making him unusually docile. 

Even if Sukuna could now understand why mortals do this for “fun”, he personally just never wanted near the stuff again—let alone in his fucking palace.

But he’d fight you over that later.

“Moreover, I will literally never eat any of your concoctions again.”

You’re yawning too, the effect being contagious as the question absentmindedly slips from your lips.

“...Hm, s’that so? *yawn* ….Well why did ya in the first place, Kuna?”

Tsk, stupid woman—because you made them, of course.

Sukuna said it in his head. 

Sukuna swore he said it in his head.

But when you immediately bolt upright, eyes expanding like saucers, he knows he fucked up. 

Attempting to recover, he tacks on a brash comment. Remarking on how he knew consuming them all would piss you off—oh and it had—but in this case, the damage had already been done.

Concern flashing across your eyes, you hurriedly brush your fingers through his rosy locks. Picking and prodding, firmly turning his head from side to side, until Sukuna’s own hands entrap yours, pausing your frantic actions.

“And just what the fuck are you doing now, woman?!”

“Checking for stitches.”

Sukuna gives a disgruntled snort, scoffing at your foolishness.

“I’m serious! Kenjaku’s not in there with you, is he?!”

“You must actually think I won’t kill you, brat….”

You giggle softly, satisfied with his answer as you peck tender kisses on his lips but Sukuna is unmoved. 

Sukuna hardly ever kisses you to be fair—but you’d just fucked him to tears! 

The least he can do to repay you is a kiss!

“C’mon Kuna, stick out your tongue a lil’ for me.”

Sukuna stares at you unamused.

“Aweee—Please, Daddy?”

Your words hang in the air, a rebuttal poised on the edge of his lips. 

But upon meeting your bright angelic eyes, Sukuna in a moment of unexpected impulse, closes the gap between you. 

Your lips clash as you breathe in one another. The kiss is less urgent than your earlier cravings, but just as filled with desire. A tumultuous dance of tongues and teeth, fueled by some magnetic pull that would likely never be vocalized in words—yet you still feel everything Sukuna leaves unsaid.

You smile once he allows you to pull back for air, blowing a kiss at him before resting your head back on his chest. Your body easily molds over him and his remaining arms snake around your form.

All of Sukuna’s eyes were closed, the welcome heaviness behind his lids extending down through his entire being.

Honestly, this is the most at peace he’s been in centuries. 

“Mmm…one more question, Kuna?”

Of course, you would be the one to disturb that though.

“Only if you promise to go the fuck to sleep after, brat.”

You nod into his chest, your hands only cupping a tiny part of his biceps as your manicured nails trace along his tattoos.

“How’d they taste?”

Seriously? 

You’re fucking insufferable. 

But Sukuna is way too over it all to fight you right now.  His entire body feels akin to a giant sandbag with every passing second.

“Decent. Now sleep.”

Your shrill squeal has him regretting his compliment immediately. 

“Aweee Kuna, Daddy! You big softie! Next you’ll be telling me you love me, huh?”

Tsk, and this is exactly why Sukuna would fuck you unconscious—so he didn’t have to put up with your nonsensical overly emotional prattling after. The intimacy of pillow talk has him queasier than the vertigo he’d experienced earlier. 

“I loathe you.”

“Love you t—”

Faster than you can react, his powerful hands move, grappling your head down and clamping over your mouth instantly.

“SLEEP!”

Listening to the grumbles resonating in his chest from Sukuna's unintelligible muttered curses, you hum contentedly with his hand over your mouth, a simple ghost of a smile lingering on your lips as you ease into a comforting slumber.

The next morning, you are stirred awake by blinding sunlight.

Still lethargic from the night before, and totally not a morning person, you try to roll over. Yet you find yourself unable to move. 

Huh?

Wanting to rub your eyes clear of sleep, you become aware that your hands, for some reason, are behind your back and are also immobilized.

Panic begins to set in. You fear it might be a bad bout of sleep paralysis—that is, until you hear Sukuna’s dark voice bellow over you sarcastically.

“Oh? What’s this? The lazy whore finally arises…”

Heart pounding anxiously, your bleary eyes open to the vision of Sukuna’s form towering over you next to his bed. 

Ok, at least he had the decency to—

A flash of red catches your eye.

Oh, fuck…

Entangled in the shibari frog-tie position—you are bound in complex knots. The thick silk crimson ropes intricately weave their way around your naked body.��

Tied with seasoned precision, the visually striking pattern of the ropes accentuated your body’s serpentine contours. Knees bent, your plump thighs are spread wide and apart, which secure to your calves. 

You feel a chill run through you as the early morning air breezes past your cunt, fully exposed as the ropes are the only thing adorning you.

Equally excited as you are terrified, your squirms cause the diamond cut pattern to imprint deeper into your supple skin. Shivering under his smolder, goosebumps erupt across your skin and fat tears well on the edges of your eyes.

Sukuna sinks low to crouch over you.

“Now, now—”

His powers fully restored, the depraved smirk Sukuna wears is the most chilling you’d ever seen.

“—you didn’t delude your silly little head into thinking I wouldn’t get my turn, now did you?”

Sukina cups your face, the mouth on his hand savoring your tears.

The harsh reality donning upon you as to how fucked you really are in this situation right now.

Shifting his grasp to squeeze your cheeks, Sukuna forces your mouth open. 

Fully awake, your eyes nearly pop out of your head as Sukuna unveils a platter—the same platter bearing the last remaining manju edible.

“Now fucking say ‘ahh’ for Daddy, brat.”

©blkkizzat 2024. do not steal works or gfx, do not translate.

» a/n: what you think of 420 Sukuna? Hopefully it wasn't too long/dragged on? this is meant to be a one shot btw. im really not trying to do a p2 (please, lmfao i cant). i still have a toji 420 fic half written and an idea for nanami but putting those on the back burner to finish another installment of otaku!gojo or nerd geto p2, one of those will be next. i promise! taglist will be in reblogs.

comments & reblogs make my coochie cream

[nikkiruncks]

Est: 1972/1973

Members:

First Generation: Eric Forman Steven Hyde Michael Kelso Fez Donna Pinciotti Jackie Burkhart Kitty Forman (kitchen) Red Forman (kitchen)

Second Generation: Leia Forman Gwen Runck Jay Kelso Nate Runck Nikki Velasco Ozzie Takada

Third Generation:

Anne-Marie Kelso Jonah Shaland-Mitchell Martin Martin Kira Kwan June Guzman-Queimada Lois Clarkson Cleo Joy-Martelli

Visitors:

Laurie Forman Mitch Miller Schatzi Mr. Wilkinson Etienne Marshall Leo Chingkwake Andrew Jill Alice Cooper Steven Tyler (cutout) Joe Perry (cutout) Bob Pinciotti Midge Pinciotti Mrs. McGee Jackie's plush unicorn Coach Ferguson Jerry Thunder The Station Manager Waitress Sarah Mitchell Fatso The Clown Schatzi Mitch Miller Delilah Reed Kristie Forman Darline Joy Kelly Shaland Serena Marotti Betsy Kelso

About

The Circle is a way for the creators to showcase a vital component of the '70s – smoking weed. According to the show creators, the blunt or joint is passed around ahead of the person speaking on camera, thus never shown. The circle usually takes place in the basement and features four people, though these rules are bent on occasion. On special occasions, the circle has been used to show the characters partaking in consuming other things than weed, such as dinner, alcohol, ice cream, cigars, hash brownies (accidentally) or nothing at all. During such scenes, adults also participate.

On occasion, the circle scenes are followed by scenes where the characters act sober while being still high, but more often that not, no one seems to suffer any ill effects after the fact. A notable case was the second-to-last episode where a particularly potent "stash" was acquired by the gang when Fez's friend from his homeland visited. Hyde, who was unquestionably the most frequent pot smoker in The Circle, actually quit smoking for a period of time because he got too high.

The Circle also remained in the '90s and '2000s, where the gang would still smoke and occasionally drink.

Rules

The circle is not:

An area where people can talk about their feelings.

A place where people can cry.

For the faint of heart.

A place where people can grope each other.

But it is:

Where laughing occurs.

Where random stuff is discussed.

Where some of the dumbest decisions are made.

Very candid.

One of the most well-known elements of the show.

A place to sing random songs.

Quotes

That '70s Show

Hyde – I would be so pissed at you if I had the ability to feel anger right now...thank God I don't!

Fez – You know guys, sometimes I wish we were cartoon teenagers

Hyde – Zoinks. That'd be super, Fez

Kelso – Alright, guys...I have a confession...I do shave my legs. I just love the way it feels!

Hyde – Man, when two people break up, it's the saddest thing...except for right now, when it's funny!

Hyde – Dude, I can't close my mouth...This is freakin' me out, man!

Hyde – Hahahaa, ohh weather kicks ass

Hyde – No way is Samantha hotter than Jeannie! Hey, I heard there was an episode they never aired.. where Jeannie gets totally naked! The government banned it.

Kelso – You know what's a funny word? Pickle-Weasel!

Kelso – You guys are never gonna believe this. Jackie cheated on me. With the cheese guy!!

Hyde - (dramatically pretends to be shocked) No!

That '90s Show

Gwen - "You're fun!"

Nikki - "You're fun! Should we be funyuns?"

Gwen - "Funyuns!"

That '2000s Show

Anne-Marie - “Oh my god. I just got stoned. Did I get stoned because I feel like I got stoned?

Cleo - Try this leafy mint. It tastes like Fruit Loops

[dgaftilwedie]

Hi hello I have some oc questions :D

Favorite oc to write with

Oc you just want to slap a little bit

Which oc likes scattergories the most?

Which oc kicks ass in mario kart?

Which oc gets really into Halloween, like a concerning amount?

1. it depends on wut im feelin :3 if i wanna write somethint fun n silly, it's trey. if i wanna write somethin angsty, it's sera. if i wanna write somethibt disgustingly inappropriate, it's christophe :33

2. sera's dad :// i hate that guy

3. serena :3 their whole thing is word games n they're super duper good at scattergories

4. trey fer sureeeee his whole thing is getting zoinked n playing video games so it'd be embarrassing if he WASN'T good at mario kart

5. also trey xD he forces cass n tyler to dress up with him bc he's annoying n he loves group costumes

[milkacchan]

Fav boys thinking S/O reader has a kid bc they misunderstood a conversation with friends or on the phone but in reality they were talking about their pet

Bc i talk to my dog like he's a small child and care for him like one and its caused confusion

Bakugou:

• he's just chillin

• youre in another room of the dorms

• You're within the ear shot

• and your phone rings

• he doesn't really think anything of it but he can't help but eavesdrop when youre on the phone

• nothing alarming until

• "How's my son?"

• and he freezes

• he feels himself pale but he keeps listening

• "I miss him so much, I didn't know it was going to be this hard to be away from him," you groan. "I just want to see him and boop his nose and coddle him."

• Jesus christ

• "he's getting chubby though, thats good, he was so tiny when he was born. So much loose skin-"

• Ngl his stomach kinda drops

• You have a kid??

• How did this happen- WHEN did it happen?

• It couldn't have-

• oh it very well could

• You disappeared for your 2nd year in UA- it could've happened then-

• and you didn't tell him.

• Not when he was your best friend and not when he was your boyfriend

• He feels betrayed- he feels gross-

• he has a right to at least KNOW of the child's existence- I mean he knew it wasn't his, but still.

• And so for the next days he's really weird.

• he tries to he normal with you, text when he can, hug you goodbye, just continue like things were

• but he just couldn't.

• And he dreads when you confront him about it- he knew you would, you've always been like that

• "You have a kid!" He snaps. "You left during second year, didn't tell anyone about it and then you came back- and you didn't tell me. I wouldn't have been mad! I wouldn't have pushed you away, I-"

"Katsuki what the FUCK are you talking about?"

"You. Have. A. Child."

"Source?"

"When you were on the phone with your mom?"

You paused for a moment. "Jesus Christ Kat, I was talking about my puppy. I got a dog while I was traveling ABROAD during my SECOND year, with my COUSIN. I helped deliver him because I was interning at a vet. He was the runt and they thought he was gonna die. So I stayed an extra two weeks and I brought him home."

He clenched his jaw. "God damn."

"Katsuki, I tell you everything. I wouldn't hide that from you. Besides," you made a face, "i'm too scared to have sex with you, because sex is scary. Why the fuck would I have it with anyone else?"

"I dunno." He mumbled.

• You take him to see your dog, obviously

Kirishima:

• he isn't even entirely sure what you were doing

• all he knows is that you're cooing into the phone held against you ear

• "Hey baby, its me! You miss momma?"

• Momma.

• bro- he just kinda zones out.

• his mind immediately going to the fact that you might have a child- not might- you do

• I mean how else could you explain that?

• he didn't even stop to think WHEN you could've had a child. He just jumped right in.

• He wasn't mad- how could he be?

• it wasn't wrong for you to have a kid.

• maybe you should've told him but you could've been scared.

• afraid he might leave you

• he wouldn't leave you, God no.

• he loved you and it was going to stay to help you

• I mean, he doesn't want you to go through this alone.

• You guys are what, just barley 18? You already have a kid, thats gotta be tough.

• So he makes the decision, instead of being upset or hurt that you didn't tell him, he's just going to step in and see if you'd like help.

• He won't push to meet the kid, thats up to you. Introducing kids to partners before its really serious doesn't always go over too well.

• he plans what he's going to say in his head, goes over it twice and nids to himself.

• that all goes out the window when you sit on the couch again

• "You have a kid?" He blurts and mentally kicks himself afterwards.

"I'm sorry what?"

"It's okay, I'm not mad, really," he put his hands up, "It's hard to tell someone about it. You can trust me with stuff, even things like that. I won't use it against you or get mad- I'll even help out if you need. Sure its not mine but it really doesn't need to me-"

"Eiji, baby, shut the fuck up for a second."

He closes his mouth, stopping his ramble.

"What are you talking about?"

"On the phone, you were talking. To your kid right? You said 'it's momma,' and-"

"Babe I was talking to my dog. I haven't seen her in two months and she recognizes my voice over the phone. I talk to her most nights before bed. We just had to do it earlier today."

• He feels his face flush.

• Jesus christ.

• you're cackling.

• he doesn't think its that funny

• he profusely apologizes for thinking you had a kid, implying that you did /things/ with anither person

• Obviously you take him to meet your dog because what kind of mother would you be if you didn't?

Deku:

• Dekus the kind of guy that would definitely take a few days to himself if he found that out.

• You've got a 50 50 chance of him staying

• He doesn't like it when people lie to begin with, it makes him feel weird

• So for him to find out you have a whole ass /child/ that he didn't know about?

• he's pissed. And sad. And confused. Because when the fuck did you have it??

• You'd think with all the analyzing he did, he'd be able to pick up maybe you were talking about a pet or something??

• Wrong. His emotions take over and he's just gone

• and once you get off the phone you're like?? Zuku? Baby where'd you go???

• 3 days.

• 3 Days he ignores your texts, calls, approaches before you get tired of it

• during those 3 days, well- day 3 more like, he goes to his friends

• like fuck i have a problem

• and theyre like ?????

• "So um- they have a kid."

"They what??????"

"Y/n has a kid. I heard them talking over the phone."

"Do you think maybe you mught've misunderstood? I mean when yould they even have had time to have one?"

"I don't know! But they didn't tell me! What am I supposed to do?"

"First off," todoroki begins, "what did they say that led you to believe they have a child?"

"Well, they were like, he's my son- not yours, and then they were like, he's growing out of his clothes, and but that his feet were still tiny-"

"Did they use a name?"

"Yeah, well, a nickname I guess, stubby? I think it was?"

"Midoryia that's their dog. They have a dog who likes to wear sweaters. Since he's a puppy " Todoroki sits up. "She refers to her dog as her son.

"I thought they only had a bird," he dropped his head to the table and whined.”They only told me about their bird,” 

"Good luck fixing that."

• He brings you flowers.

• and chocolate

• to your dorm

• and when you answer you look very displeased.

• you just kind of eye him, waiting for him to speak.

• "Angel," he begins, "I'm sorry. I- I jumped to a conclusion."

"And what conclusion was that."

"That you had a kid." He mumbled. "When you were talking about your dog."

"You dumb fuck, we haven't even had sex yet. Who else would I be with? When would I even have had time to make a human being?"

"I know. I'm sorry."

• He wants to meet the dog.

• You make him wait.

• HOWEVER

• You do show him pictures.

Sero:

• He's high off his ass bro.

• fuckin zoinked

• you take a phone call in which you clearly mention dog features but he only seems to catch baby, princess, daughter, small toes, and chubby

• N he's like sweet you have a daughter,

• and then he forgets about it, too caught up with staring at something on the ceiling

• a bug he thinks

• and then he starts laughing because he thinks the word bug is funny lmao

• and when you get off the phone he leans his head against you

• and like 10 minutes later he remembers as he's kissing your neck

• "oh, so you have a daughter? How old is she?" He's so nonchalant too lmao

"Baby what?"

"You have a daughter, right? You were talking about her over the phone. She has small toes. How old is she?"

"Sero, you're gone," you smile, ruffling his hair.

"What? Did I do something? I don’t want to leave,” He frowns. 

"I’m not making you leave babe. I don't have a daughter. I have a puppy named bubbles, but I call her princess. She's a teacup."

"Oh that's so cute,"

• its just amazing that he wasn't conflicted by the possibility that you may have had a daughter

• maybe its because he's high

• maybe he just really doesn't fucking care

• either way he vibed with the idea

• and then was like oh cool can I see a picture of your dog then

• and then fell the fuck asleep when the high started to wear off

• boy what a day

[rightsockjin]

Summary: SCOOBY DOO AU! Seokjin and his dog Jjangu, have a special bond, one that no one could ever challenge and it was absolutely adorable. They were always paired up to scope out the place, but when Namjoon decides to pair the team off differently and you get stuck with him instead, things take a turn for the worst…or is it for the best? ZOINKS!

Rating: M

Genre: SMUT! Mystery. Slight enemy to lover

Warnings: Food play, fingers. licking, sucking. Cunnalingus. lewd noises. Walked in on kinda. Jin is thirsty. Y/N is thirsty. Both have a meal. Moaning. Haunted house. 

Word count: 4,887

Author’s note: This is so loosely based off of Scooby Doo it almost doesn’t make sense to say it is based off of it but it’s more about the vibe of Jin’s outfit. Also! Spooky season had begun! And this is a good kick off.

“Jin and Y/N, can you guys check out the west wing?”

With those eleven words from the leader’s lips, the whole dynamic of the group was turned around. Jjangu whined at his feet. His cute puppy eyes stared up at him like he knew he would be separated from his owner soon. This wasn’t normal. He usually wasn’t paired up with anyone. It was usually him and Jjangu against whatever crazy conspiracy they were checking out which always made him feel safer because dogs tended to have a sixth sense that most people lacked, but you had joined and now it seemed that he’d have to endure the presence of another person.

This wouldn’t have been a problem had it been anyone else but Namjoon knew Jin had a slight crush on you that he didn’t know how to handle and it seemed like Namjoon was just trying to push his buttons. You didn’t even like him anyway. He knew that. It was in the way that you looked at Taehyung and the way you laughed at his jokes and how close you seemed to be. He had no interest in being your second choice. No interest whatsoever but it seemed that Namjoon, the ever observant nearly omniscient leader, hadn’t noticed what he had.

“I’m going to take Jjangu with Jungkook and I-” the leader began but Jin cut him off instantly.

“Why can’t he come with me?”

Namjoon glanced at you out of the corner of his eyes for a split second, but you were too focused on Taehyung- again- to even notice. Jin gave the leader a look that had embedded a question.

Namjoon rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

“JK  and I are going to the most arguably haunted part of the house and I doubt highly that Jk’s muscles will do much if we can’t see what’s around the corner. You know that Jjangu is much better at warning us when there’s something afoot.”

Jin’s heart sank. Namjoon had a point. The east wing had the most noise coming from it and he was arguably in more danger than he would be. Jjangu was a valuable asset. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to argue.

“But then what about me? I’m never paired up without him! Look at his puppy eyes…”

Namjoon indulged him but wasn’t deterred, “I need him Jin. You have an actual human with you this time.”

“So do you! And Jungkook had muscles! Y/N is built like a damn noodle.”

“Hey!”

Jin snapped his head to look at you, unamused with your interjection.

“Tell me I’m wrong, doll face.”

You glared at him, mirroring his crossed arms, then looked back at Namjoon expectantly. When he said nothing she scoffed.

“I don’t want to go with him if he doesn’t want me there. Just let me go with Taehyung or something-”

“No,” Namjoon interrupted, “Look, you wanted to come along and as much as we enjoy having you around, this is serious business. Things can go very wrong in one of our missions and it’s my call as to what happens. I need you to do as I say. It’s for everyone’s best interest.”

He turned to Jin then, “You know better than to question me. Just do it. We don’t have a lot of time.”

Jin slumped but knew he had a point. He glanced over at you, “I’m sorry. He’s right.”

He gave Jjangu a sad smile and like he had just spoken directly to him, the puppy walked over to Namjoon and sat with a diligent growl. Satisfied, Namjoon looked at his team who split into their otherwise usual groups- Joon and JK, Yoongi and Hope, Jimin and Taehyung- then looked at Jin and yourself.

Reluctantly, Jin walked over and stood by you. How could he have known from the way you filched at his proximity that in a matter of minutes he’d have you bent over a table and his face would be buried in your lower lips?

The answer? He couldn’t have known, but he’d have to thank Namjoon later.

It was silent as you both walked into the hallway that led into the west wing, contrary to the reports of screams and moaning that had brought the extended mystery gang to investigate. In a way, it made it even more creepy. The flickering of the lights that lined the walls made you jump and the cool air seemed to nip at your skin. Why had you worn a skirt to investigate a haunting? What made you think that your orange corduroy skirt and a maroon turtleneck would keep you warm in the near middle of winter in Seoul? Nothing. Nothing had told you this was a good idea, except for that stupid voice in your head that told you that maybe, just maybe, Jin would finally look at you as something more than an annoying girl who clung onto his friend group.

Though judging by his reaction only seconds before, it wasn’t looking good. Namjoon had done you a solid back there after you had confessed to him that you had a massive crush on Jin but it seemed that your attempts and his help were fruitless.

Up ahead, you could see a multitude of doors. As you walked, the wooden floor of the manor creaked and once again you jumped. Jin, having been ignoring your reactions for the last ten minutes, chose this instance to acknowledge your existence.

He sighed, his shoulder slumping as he slowly turned to look at you.

“Are you sure you’re cut out to be scouting, Y/N?”

No. You were not sure you were. You were easily frightened and the occult wasn’t your cup of tea but Namjoon had assured you it wouldn’t be horrible as places like these were usually a hoax but you saw no cameras. No signs of rigs or traps. You saw nothing to suggest a hoax.

“Y-yeah. Totally.”

It was then that another loud creak and a prolonged, pained moan vibrated through the hallway that you and Jin were in. You felt all the blood drain from your face and a shiver of fear ran straight through you like the ghost that was supposed to haunt these rooms.

Jin watched you in shock. Usually, he was every bit as scared as you seemed but something had possessed him and instead of fear, he was filled with worry and determination. He had a job to do and the quicker he cleared your side of the manor, the quicker he could get you out of the house.

“It’s probably nothing,” he assured you, “probably one of the guys trying to freak us out. Come on.”

The firmness in his voice surprised him. It didn’t waver. It was strong. Confident. A shiver went down your back completely unrelated to the coldness of the season.

He took a step over to the first door on his left but when he didn’t hear your booted steps behind him he stopped and looked over his shoulder. You hadn’t moved at all. He let his eyes rake your body but only for a second. And a second was all he needed. The way that your long legs were framed by the slightly too short skirt made his mind run wild with thoughts too unholy to entertain. Why had you worn something so inappropriate for such an occasion? Namjoon’s words came back to him then.

“She likes you.” He had said. Had he been right? Had you maybe worn the deceivingly tight shirt with- were you even wearing a bra? Jesus you mustn’t be with the way that your breasts were outlined so perfectly against the thin fabric of your turtle neck. He shook his head as blood began to collect in an unfavorable place. This wasn’t what you guys were there for.

With exasperation and a little bit of nerves running through his body, he reached out and grabbed your hand pulling you forward.

You stumbled but didn’t fall. His hand in yours made you feel less alone in the slightly darkened house. You could smell the dust in the air and something that smelled like… apples and musk.

Jin hesitated for only a second longer before he wrapped his long fingers around the brass knob. It was cold to the touch. Unlike your hand in his.

The room was dark and the last thing he wanted to do was throw you into the unknown. He felt around for a light switch. Instantly, the hum of machines filled your ears. An unappealing white light filled your field of vision, blinding you slightly.

Briefly, Jin’s hand tightened around yours as he ventured further into the room. As soon as you were in, the door that Jin had opened, slammed shut, hitting your ass and pushing you farther in.

“Ow! What the- did…did that just close on it’s own?” Without thinking, you clung onto Jin’s arm and hid behind his towering figure. Jin felt his stomach drop, though he wasn’t sure if it was because of you clinging to him, or the door.

Decisively, Jin took a step towards the door and tried to open it. Unsurprisingly, it was jammed. His heart sank. He was trapped in a room in a house that was supposedly haunted. This could not be worse. You could have been with Jungkook who had the muscles to protect you, or with Taehyung, who had no fear in the face of danger, or even with Namjoon, who always had a plan, but no… you were stuck with him and he felt guilty.

Would he be able to protect you if something really dangerous happened? Given, these expeditions didn’t usually turn truly dangerous but in the case it did, would he step up? Or would he fall into his old ways and leave you to fend for yourself?

“It must have been a draft or something… and the wood is probably swollen from age… It’s nothing,” he assured, though he wasn’t sure himself.

Jin turned back around to look at the rest of the room. What would Namjoon do? Scope out the room and find another way out. He was met with a larger than normal looking kitchen. The hum from the refrigerator seemed to drone on and on.

There was an oven and a stove. Some carts to wheel food, multiple counters covered in what looked like… fresh fruit?

Curious, Jin took a step forward. A loud crack of what seemed to be a speaker echoed in the room. Fear ran through Jin’s body and instinctively, he jumped behind you. He used your small body as a shield, his front pressed firmly to your back side.

Through the fabric of his pants, you could feel…something, lightly poking you. It was just a hint. The idea of something you hadn’t realized you might be able to have, to evoke in him. It was thrilling to say the least. Confusing at its core.

Oh.. unfortunate choice of words.

And suddenly, you weren’t exactly scared anymore. At least not for the same reason. What had Namjoon said to you earlier? That these places were usually not haunted but set up to seem so. What did you have to fear?

Only one thing. Rejection.

Subtly, you pushed your ass back into what you hoped was the beginning of a hard on. There was a road that led from hate straight to love and lust. If you could push just the right buttons, then maybe, your situation could change.

Jin was panicking. And for once, it wasn’t because he was the only one who thought that the house they were investigating was truly haunted. No, it was for something much less precedent.

You.

As soon as he had felt you shift ever so slightly against him and your round, plush…strong, ass grazed against his excited member he knew. He just knew he was screwed. Well… if he was lucky. Should he push? Should he pry…your legs apart…

Over your shoulder, he chanced an inquisitive glance down. He was met instantly with the curve and slope of your perfect breast. Through the fabric, once again he was forced to notice the peaking of what he imagined to be your nipples.

The outline of something textured was also present. Jin found his fingers twitching from your arms to try and touch it. But he couldn’t. Not without knowing that you wanted him to.

Again, as if you were reading his mind, you pressed your backside into his pelvis. Were you doing it on purpose? It almost felt like it could be an accident. He couldn’t tell.

Carefully, you took a step away from Jin. He let his grip on you fall as you walked with no intent present towards the table covered in food.

He could see a bowl full of something white and very near it what he assumed were strawberries. Perhaps, chocolate sauce. Honey? He wasn’t sure from his vantage point. With legs heavy as bricks, Jin walked closer to the same table. Your back was still to him and he was partially grateful for that since there was something else heavy between his thighs that was making it hard to move.

As he neared you, you listened. His footsteps echoed in the vast kitchen. Intent absent but curiosity present. You didn’t have a plan. Not something tangible. But you had felt it. The hope that blossomed between your back and his pelvis.

So without taking a second to consider what it was that you were doing. You bent yourself nearly in half and dipped a finger in what looked like caramel sauce.  The breeze hit you almost instantly.

Jin watched in shock as your skirt rose up the short amount it could. But what was more of a shock, a surprise, was not that your skirt was pulled up over your ass or the fact that it was being so readily presented to him. No, it was instead the fact that your ass and lower was bare. A thin strip of fabric the same color of your turtle neck ran up your round cheeks, separating them slightly. The same fabric covered your core. A mark of wetness stained it.

As quietly as he could, he slapped his own cheek. Once, then twice, then once more for good measure but still you were bent in half and your skin was on display. For him. It had to be for him.

He watched as you dipped your finger into the runny substance nearest you. You hooked it. A glob of the substance clung to it, then oozed slowly down and back in the bowl. Jin watched, his mouth dry as your pink tongue darted out of your mouth and intercepted the substance.

A thick glob landed on it but you didn’t pull it into your lips. Instead, you let the liquid like substance drip down and onto your chin and progressively back into the bowl. It was a couple of seconds later that you finally pulled your tongue back where it should be and hummed delighted.

“You should taste this caramel Jin,” you said, your voice had lowered an octave and it did things to his now very hard member.

“Sh-,” he cleared his throat, “Shouldn’t you not eat that? I- I mean… it could be poisoned.”

You chuckled. Idiot. Why hadn’t that crossed your mind? Well… honestly if you were gonna die then you guessed deliciously was the best way to go. And with some good cock to be the cherry on top.

“Best poison I’ve ever tasted,” you joked, licking at your chin and your lips. Without hesitation, you dipped the same finger into the whipped cream in the bowl next to the strawberries.

You didn’t mess around. You put your whole finger in your mouth and suck it clean of any and all sugar.

You made a show of it. Tilting your head back and arching your spine in further presentation of your private area. You moaned around your finger.

“You’re crazy,” Jin said from behind you and you deflated slightly, feeling embarrassed. Shouldn’t he have jumped your bones by now? Ravaged you? Shouldn’t he have had some reaction aside from talking about what you were eating? For God’s sake, you were ass up and legs spread to him.

Shouldn’t he… have at least taken a step closer to you?

Slowly, and unsure of what the hell had gotten into you, you began to straighten. How could you have thought that this would work? Jin clearly didn’t like you. Namjoon had lied and whatever you had thought you had felt was all in your head.

But then there was a warm hand on your lower back. Fingers splayed and pushing to keep you arched. Pressed up. Another hand, ever so gently, and delicately, began to run up one of your thighs. It was a feather light touch. If you weren’t so present and sensitive you may not have even felt it. But then he was at your inner thigh, writing hangul into the skin.

“I didn’t say you should stop,” he whispered. His breath was warm on your shoulder. You were frozen. What did you do now?

“Do- would you like to try some?” You asked, almost like a waitress offering a house wine.

Jin didn’t know how to proceed. But he wasn’t going to let this opportunity pass him up.

“Hand me a strawberry,” he said and you did so quickly.

You picked the first one you saw right off the top and held it up for him. Instead of taking either hand off of you, he learned down and wrapped his plush lips around the tip and sucked the fruit into his mouth.

Red juice oozed out of the corner of his lips. You licked your own as his hand moved up slightly. His palm barely graced your exposed skin.

“Delicious,” he groaned, watching your mouth.

You weren’t even sure what he was talking about but boy did you want to find out.

“Want a taste?”

He didn’t wait for you to answer. Instead, he reached over your head, his hips pressed against the bareness of your butt and his chest touched over your shoulders. The warmth that radiated from his body made goosebumps break out in the places that weren’t touching him.

He plucked a particularly juicy strawberry from the cluster and twirled it in front of your face. Your mouth watered. You waited patiently as he seemed to be admiring the perfectness of the fruit before he dipped it into the whipped cream and brought it to your lips.

“Open,” he breathed by your ear. You let your jaw fall into a perfect ‘O’ as he brought it closer to you. Slowly, almost as if he were the one enjoying the flavor, he placed it on your tongue. You waited for him to speak. To tell you what to do. But when no command came, you closed your mouth and bit down.

A symphony of juices met your taste buds. The fruit was sweet and delectable. Tart but cut with the sugar of the whip.

Jin’s member throbbed in it’s restraints. The pure pleasure that was evident on the part of your face he could see was enchanting. Drops of strawberry juice dripped down his long finger and onto his wrist.

You didn’t wait for him to ask. You licked the delicious juice from his skin. The wet muscle picking up every last drop. Somehow, it tasted better from his hand than it would have from your own. Somehow you knew this.

Jin let out a muffled moan. If your tongue felt that good on his finger, he could only imagine how good it would feel elsewhere. All over him. Jin’s hand suddenly cupped your burning core.  A gush of your own juices flowed out of you at the contact.

“You know,” Jin said as you continued to suck at his fingers greedily, “ these strawberries are delectable but… I have the feeling that they’re nowhere nearly as sweet as you?”

It was a question. He was asking you if he could have a taste. Of you. Of the juices that came from within you. How could you refuse?

Slowly, you nodded your consent. Without skipping a beat, his fingers pressed softly into your mounds and he pulled himself off of you.

You felt him squat behind you. His face now level with your center. You heard him gasp. His hand fell away. You felt self-conscious but you held yourself how you were. The taste of the fruit was still present on your tongue.

“No underwear?”

You swallowed the lump of embarrassment in your throat before you spoke, “No-not really. The shirt had a b-built in set-” A kiss on your thigh stopped your explanation.

Jin looked at your slits with the eyes of hunger. He had never felt more ravenous in his whole life. He had a feeling he could never get his fill.

A glint of silver caught his eye. Clips, where the shirt was held together at your core. With trembling hands, he hooked a finger under it and pulled it away from your skin. Already, his finger was coated in your slick. Excitement coursed through him, but he had to be patient.

He pulled at the clips and they came apart easily. A gust of cool air hit your slick slits and you couldn’t help but moan.

Jin let out an impressed whistle. He licked his thick lips. But first…

“Can you pull your shirt up?” he asked you. He held himself at bay even when your arousal hit his nose. His mouth was watering. Saliva pooled on his tongue.

You did what he asked, pulling the shirt out of the skirt and up over your breasts exposing your completely transparent bralette. From where he was sitting, he could vaguely make out the swell of your breast and the peak of your nipple, as pert and perfect as the strawberry that he had picked up earlier.

Finally satisfied, he shuffled a little closed to your center and took a deep breath. Shiver ran down your legs and your spine. Jin didn’t know where to start. Every angle of you looked delectable. Like a full course meal. Did he start with the potatoes or the beef? Did he skip and go straight for the desert?

He decided that he wanted to better see what was being offered to him. So carefully, he pulled your lower lips apart. Thick strands of slick webbed your labia together. Instantly, like the sauce from earlier, it began to drip from the quantity and weight of it.

Jin’s eyes widened. More was dripping out of your entrance, like a fountain. Still he held back, feeling the need to check on you one last time and ask for a final favor before he began his meal.

“If it’s okay with you, I don’t like to eat alone. I would like it if you ate with me.”

You weren’t sure exactly what he meant. But you were eager to please. So you nodded and did the only logical thing you could think of. You picked up another one of the strawberries and held it up for him to see. When you felt him pat your leg in confirmation, you put the fruit in your mouth.

Jin, feeling like he finally had the go ahead, leaned in. His mouth hung open, his tongue poking over his bottom lip. He shut his eyes, intent on enjoying what was sure to be his favorite new meal.

His tongue lightly but not limply slotted between your slits and you felt your whole body convulse. You choked on the fruit in your mouth. You coughed and sputtered but Jin didn’t feel phased.

The very tip of his tongue was grazing your clit. It was torturous. The lack of movement. You wanted more. You need him to give you more.

Then as if he had heard your thoughts, hit wet muscles suddenly moved up to your hole. It prodded at it before he suctioned his lips to the circumference and drank your essence.

You moaned through another mouthful of strawberry. It made a wave of pleasure run over Jin’s body. He groaned into your body. Sucking and pushing his tongue into your core. He fucked it into your heat as deep as he could make it go.

You sucked at the strawberry in your hand, scared to take another bite but too into what he asked to stop all together.

“Fuck, Jin I-”

He pulled away with a wet pop of his lips. You could hear him smack his lips, then he sighed happily.

“Don’t tempt me with that mouth Jagiya,” you said pressing a kiss to your pulsing clit. You shivered as he rubbed his lips over it. Shock after shock of elation ran into your stomach. You were close. You were so close. The cold of the room and the heat of your arousal contrasted so well. A heap of sensations that you didn’t realize you liked all added up to something that made your legs weak at the knees.

Maybe it was because Jin was the one between your legs. You weren’t sure.

He began to kitten lick at your bud. Your knees began to cave but you held yourself up with your arms. It was too good. Too much.

“Jin, please I’m going to…ah.. I’m gonna-”

But he didn’t answer. He only continued his ministrations. Licking harder, slower. Moaning against your bundle of nerves. With every hard lick came a wave of heat that coiled into what you knew would be a hard orgasm.

“Don’t stop… please,” you begged. And he didn’t. Delicious. His tongue was the definition of heaven and all things good.

He let go of your lower lips and held your thighs up to his mouth. You were on the edge. Your blood pulsed at the speed of light between your legs. Then, the coil snapped and you saw white. Your body pulsed, your mouth dropped and your whole body tensed.

You moaned Jin’s name not thinking about your volume. Not caring either. He kept going, not caring that you seemed done.

You were too delicious. Too sweet to let go. Like honey or butter scotch. God, he could eat you out all night long. He could live happily between your legs. He wanted to. He would love to be attached to you this way. God what a wonderful gift to be able to taste you like he was doing that instant. He let up on your clit but had no intentions of pulling away. He drank up your cum like it was the first sip of water he had ever had. Your entrance clenched as he dipped his tongue in and moaned and groaned and ate like the king he was.

Gluttony was a sin. But he’d be damned to give this up.

Suddenly, you both heard footsteps from outside the door. Jin froze, his lips again stuck to your entrance. Your body was weak and overstimulated. Neither of you dared to make any noise.

The familiar voices of the guys could be heard but they were muffled through the wall. You expected Jin to pull away from you but were surprised when he went right back to his suckling.

“Jin, “ you whined, pulling yourself away, but he followed, slurping noisily and moaning against you.

“Seokjin,” you said again, hoping he would stop but it was like he was deaf.

“I’m sure they came this way,” you heard what you thought was the voice of Hoseok from outside.

“It was a bad idea to give them this section,” a voice that sounded a lot like Jimin said, “If I remember correctly, I think  the kitchen is right over here.”

Again, Jin moaned from between your legs. A new orgasm was begging to build at your core. Coming much faster and stronger. You bit your lip to try and keep your gasps of pleasure at bay.

He reached up with a single finger and began to rub tight circles on your clit. You couldn’t help the scream that escaped you.

The footsteps outside the room stopped. You could almost hear the confusion and fear from the other side.

“Did you hear that,” What sounded like Jungkook asked.

“Y-yeah,” someone else, possibly Taehyung answered.

“Did that sound like-”

“That sounded like-”

And then Jjangu barked at the door and you knew. You just knew that you were screwed.

Then it hit you. An orgasm so strong it felt like an explosion. Like Dynamite. You moaned loudly, not being able to stop. The barking got louder and there were knocks at the door. Screams of your name and Jin’s but, he was much faster than you anticipated. He pulled his mouth from your core and flipped your around. He connected his messy lips with yours and pulled your shirt over your perfect chest.

When the door opened, he didn’t stop. His body covered yours. And you didn’t see their reaction but it must have been priceless because all you heard were shocked gasps from your group of friends, then the slam of a door.

You guessed Namjoon was right.

Master list

[phoebehalliwell]

Asking the important question about Bianca x Chris In the change!future : who fall in love first ? And who say i love you first ?

Because we got Chris, who believe in soulmates and destiny but also who probably think no one will love him like that because, insecurity. And Bianca, who simple does not believe in love. A great match, full angst / unrequited love potentiel

i’m gonna like. link my entire chris/bianca anthology just because i love talking about them

chris + love a, b, & c

bianca + general phoenix lore a, b, c, & d

chris & bianca: a, b, & c

it’s under a cut 🥰💞💕

i mean like short answer is i think they both say i love you about a million different times a million different ways before either of them kinda drops those words like. like i think for chris i love you is a really common phrase for him like growing up it's just like all around his household he has about constant exposure to three health marriages everyone in his family like they all like each other for the most part. well like um. they all love each other, that's guaranteed. the like can sometimes fluctuate. so it’s not like he’s uncomfortable with the phrase it’s just like. it’s big. real big. and you know i don’t know but you grow up around wyatt and you grow up around cupids and all these really grandiose ideas of love and love is all around us it’s the air we breathe it’s the crucial tether of human existence love is epic love is iconic love can stop the rotation of the earth like that shit. like i mean he looks at his parents (and at the versions of paige/henry and phoebe/coop that live in my head) and like. love was a fight. it was this epic pull that caused them to go to the ends of the earth for each other you know hell they were ready to risk death to get married you know that must be like this epic heartstring tugging feeling in your just red string of fate yanked so hard it almost hurts and like. that’s just not what chris has. it doesn’t feel at all like that. it’s just comfort. nothing more, nothing less, really. he just feels 100% wholly comfortable and safe around bianca it’s not like. it’s like he thinks in order to be In Love in love it has to hurt a bit you know nothing comes for free and being with bianca just isn’t. it doesn’t hurt. just spending lazy slow time with her it doesn’t feel much like anything it’s just nice. it doesn’t like. move stars rip a hole in the earths crust. he doesn’t feel this burning ache. it’s just. being with her. it feels safe it feels normal it’s just like it’s normal!! this is what normal feels like not the constant nagging voices in his head own insecurities playing on a loop not you know the constant ever-present knowledge of the next demon battle there’s always gonna be another one not who is he as the son of a charmed one what will he do what will he be. like none of that’s there with bianca. it’s just normal.

and of course all the cousins draw straws on who gets the honor of whacking chris on the head with a hollow tube saying that is love dingus because like. again he’s probably aired out his thoughts to like wyatt or somebody maybe melinda if she pried maybe henry if he pried where like. because obviously they’d be interrogating on hey what the fuck’s going on over there because like. soulmatism all that everyone’s watching like you get it right you’re in love and chris gives his whole stance on like blah blah blah it’s gotta hurt i don’t feel that i just like bianca. and whoever they’re talking to. maybe kat? if just thinking about all chris and bianca have been through together all the times they like nearly died in each other’s arms like are we not counting that?? is that not enough for epic love right there? this is a really long yarn to basically say i think chris would be in love with bianca for a really long time and just genuinely never have the word for it you know just like stupid but are we not all fools in love?

i think bianca would say it first because she definitely picks apart their relationship in her head a lot more that him because like that’s just the person she is because like phoenix are not supposed to fall in love. you’re loyal to your family. you respect your family. and by extension, they are who you love. because you have no one else to love. no one else knows the true you, and no one else would be capable of knowing and loving the true you like your family. everyone else would rather see you dead. so i think she picks apart the concept of love and what it means to her a hell of a lot more than chris ever does. because i think from the start. you know it’s kind of an enemies to lovers situation.

okay so here’s my current sketch of what i’m doing with them in the light timeline because like. let’s face it. killing a charmed one is impractical. it’s an immense risk, one i think the phoenix would never take. also like. if bianca was sent to kill chris i really think she could do it respectfully chris is powerful he’s talented he’s smart i still think bianca could kill him. and then, of course, if you kill a charmed one, then you have the rest of the family after you and at this point it’s a really big family. and yes you could plant evidence throw them off the scent but again you’re dealing with like. 10 whole ass experienced trained powerful witches? how long does that last? and for what. what price could that ever possibly be worth? i get wanting to kill a halliwell on your own your own personal business risk v reward, but the phoenix are a neutral power they do not care. the only skin they have in the game would be the price on chris’s head an i literally can not think of a single thing that would be worth the wrath of the warren line, a family that presently does not give a shit about you, you know?

okay i’ve aired out that opinion. so that being said. what do? so you remember the evil cult from prince charmed and they thought wyatt was their leader and they wanna flip his morality but they failed? yeah and they didn’t all die right. like some of them escaped. the Point is: concept is they’re going for round two, but they don’t wanna make it obvious because if they flip the morality then everyone kinda knows who did it and how because it’s happened before. so hear me out they are casting or they are contracting the phoenix to cast that basically wipes any memory of them ever existing off the face of the earth. phoenix, of course, will be immune, as will their library collection on them because fuck you that’s why and then the members of the cult will be immune tho gotta say. would be hilarious if they forgot that part and then everyone just went home in their funny lil robes like huh wonder where that came from. the issue is chris. cuz he was there. but he’s not him. you know? i don’t think the cult fully knows what’s going on right but like. that’s definitely chris who definitely like single-handedly thwarted their plans. except he wasn’t even alive yet. so they need chris’s memories resurfaced so they can wipe them, otherwise they run the risk of the memories resurfacing at a Very inconvenient time. so that’s bianca’s job. the how they do not know or care about they just need him to have memories of season 6 so the can promptly wipe them. no murder necessary.

but still has weird shit magical invasion of privacy happening and probably a witch fight. blah blah blah i have ideas that i shan’t expand on right now bianca doesn’t lose but chris doesn’t win. no i will expand on actually. i think lynn bianca’s mother knows kinda what’s going on here with the cult’s scheme to create evil!wyatt and the phoenix have done their research and then know that they can survive perfectly fine in a evil wyatt regime and the cult has promised them immunity + powers in their new world order or whatever. so on paper, fine. but lynn’s way overprotective overbearing mother knows best types you know like she will do about anything for her daughter so when future bianca came she definitely used a scrying bowl kinda like what we see the stillman sisters use filled with kid bianca’s blood because that’s really the only way she has to see where bianca’s going what she’s doing and she gets to see evil wyatt kill bianca. so lynn’s actually very much not game for this actually. and i think she if not explicitly tells bianca what’s up at the very least plants seeds implying that she should not go through with this plan.

so when chris proposes instead her teaming up with him to take down the cult, in exchange offering the protection of the charmed ones (which is really the best thing he’s got to offer besides like. a punch card for a free sandwich at ike’s that only needs two more punches.) and bianca takes the bet. and they already have one fist fight under their belt between the two of them that ended in a terse treaty and not they gotta go complete a mission together. and i think that’s kind of like the jumping off point for their relationship is assorted missions together but before things can get Too Chummy chris has an innocent or something to protect and who is trying to kill them well um bianca. zoinks.

basically i think every time bianca aligns herself with chris, in doing so, she aligns herself against the orders of the phoenix. and every time she has to ask herself: is it worth it? and usually like in the case of Murder, the answer is yes. honestly, she’d rather not take an innocent’s life for some rich asshole. but in the case of the initial cult, that was a selfish move. she doesn’t want to die. is that so wrong? and there’s kind of this repeated team chris or team phoenix motif going on where the actual answer does not lie with either of them again the phoenix are on contract that’s not their motive you know they don’t personally care about what happens and then. she’s never picking chris per se it’s not like she’s choosing him she’s choosing and innocent or she’s choosing herself but that just always happens to be the side where chris is.

and also like. they work well together. they just do. so once bianca kinda like. needs to do something dangerous and her first thought is call chris then she kinda has to take a step back and go hmmm. because chris knows who she is right he knows she’s a murder cold blooded killer phoenix (chris, actually, has not seen her murder any innocents in cold blood in fact he has only seen her opt Not to do that but like. bianca has her own vision of herself) and she’s just not. friends with anyone who knows. again not that she would consider her n chris friends but he is like literally the only one who Knows her outside of the phoenix. and that’s weird. Even Further Step Back when she has to do something dangerous and at this point that’s all she does with chris but she Doesn’t want to call him because hey that’s dangerous and i don’t want him to die. which she justifies under the same Death of a Halliwell rule in that the charmed ones might go after her but even she kinda knows that’s bullshit but like. does she really wanna face the music on this one?

so basically while chris’s relationship is very in the moment he’s goin with the flow here he doesn’t know what’s going on where this is going he only has what he feels Right Now. bianca on the other hand is like how does this tie into the past what does this spell out for the future and it keeps circling back to the question is he worth it and bianca kinda hates but the answer every time is yes. she would rather spend time with him be with him fight alongside him than any other option. but to her, that’s still a long way out from love because like. it’s alliance it’s strategic they work well together they care for each other which is more than she can say about like most other people she’d bring to a fight and at a certain point yeah they hang out because they enjoy each other’s company but like. they like spending time together. is that a crime? you can enjoy spending time with a person. but then it’s like more n more time and now yeah look at it you’re in a relationship this is a relationship but like. love?? idk. i mean it’s not like...... you know like in... hmm.... so like... okay so if i Were in love....... okay. okay hm. okay. alright. okay might actually be in love.

i also think bianca would be the one to have the notion of like the finite resource of “i love yous” and even after she’s accepted that okay she can say that she doesn’t wanna waste it she does want to save it for a moment when it means something a dramatic reveal i mean they are in a lot of life or death situations surely she can just like. drop it then. but then like idk she accidently just ends up saying it at like the grocery store. chris on the other hand says i love you all the time like once the floodgates open They Are Open and it’s like. you leave the house okay bye i love you i’m going to bed goodnight i love you i made you dinner i love you like. constant.

[thesorrowoflizards]

yall we deserve more fairy tale aus. more maiaphael and/or magnus fairy tale aus

the beautiful princess maia, strong in her own right but so soft and kind and she just wants to help even though she’s not in a great position to do so

brave young hero raphael questing not for the princess’s hand but to help his community, his family, his sister (but he falls in love with her anyway)

“fairy godfather” magnus, a kind wizard who helps them out and indeed helps anyone he can… and perhaps dragon alec

but like the point is—oh my god

oh no

oh no mid post

mid post the idea it hit me

literally while i was in the middle of typing trying to figure out where i was going with this

ive been, metaphorically speaking, shot blank

with the idea

of

maiaphael

shrek au

oh I hate this

does this make maia fiona, raphael shrek, and magnus—DONKEY?! AND ALEC THE DRAGO—ok ok so this is happening now. amazing. i just wanted a soft fairy tale au with princess maia and hero raphael and kindly wizard magnus but now here we are. shrek au. fine. if this is how it’s gonna be, fine

i guess rather than ogre he’s a vampire which is a little more subtle—perhaps instead of becoming a vampire at night she’s a werewolf? so downworlders in general rather than specifically a vampire? not quite loyal to the original story (as she became an ogre rather than just “a fairy tale creature” for a reason) but not bad—although the implication she’d like become a wolf forever isn’t great. I mean I’m sure you can play with that so it’s more like at night she becomes a werewolf—ability to transform into a wolf, eyes flash green sometimes, can do feats of supernatural strength and so on, but like. still. hm

but like ok look the point is maia is in this tower and it’s not that she’s weak, but she can’t fight a dragon on her own and she’s been taught her whole life she was supposed to be saved, get a prince charming, etc. she’s quite well read and also very isolated and probably claustrophobic as fuck now. i’m not sure how to combine her characterization with fiona’s in a way that stays loyal to her character but still makes sense in the au tbh.... [thinking emoji im too lazy to google and paste here]

and like raphael, rather than wanting everyone out of his home, perhaps is specifically trying to help his community and get more structure? obviously magnus wants to help—still can’t believe I’m making him donkey but the dragon thing is too good to pass up, although I’m basically going to completely change his role as donkey because I physically can’t handle making him the comic relief literal ass, but like, he’s had his own issues and also wants to help get the land to set up a home for everyone and help people, so he’s travelling with raphael and is like “smol angery vampire who is willing to slap a dragon to death to save his community and specifically take care of his sister? im adopting him immediately”

perhaps for shenanigans and I have. oh my god this is ridiculous but any shrek au is inherently ridiculous so I’m making this twi malec now. consider this: twi magnus on the road literally just getting the hang of his magic after an encounter with a rogue crazy princess who’s stab-happy and needed some magical help, so it’s waking up and he’s just getting in all these crazy hijinks with raphael where hypothetically he’s powerful enough to just zap them there, zoink out the dragon and win, but he can’t fucking control it so sure he can turn all the knights’ armor pink or sneeze and make it start to rain (which is a LITTLE SCARY) but like, other than randomly floating or random bursts of managing to control it in high pressure situations, it’s like. not that useful. again i can’t be clear enough he isn’t really donkey it’s just an excuse to have him travelling with raphael. i guess simon would be donkey if i were going for serious but then they’d both be in love with maia so--

also, twi magnus and raphael? fun interaction time. especially since I’m still basically doing canon maiaphael and not trying to mess with twi, there, so like. he’s kind of trying to get out of his shell more but he cares deeply about raphael (and. well. everyone) already and he juts wants to help

and then he meets the dragon guarding maia’s tower and is immediately like….. damn……… no not getting distracted by this

but the dragon, twi alec, is just like HEY THERE PRETTY BOY ;D and like. they don’t even have to fight the dragon raphael just. walks past while they make heart eyes at each other and when alec realizes they’re walking away with maia he’s just like “ok whatever but magnus you better come back and visit sweetheart I’m gonna make you the prettiest necklace and I can find you some old books on magic, I’m sure I’ve got some in my hoard somewhere—”

meanwhile on the way back magnus is kind of pining after alec but also getting a stronger handle on his magic

and raphael is getting to know the princess

and maia is getting to know raphael (she was NOT expecting a vampire and a warlock, but they’re both incredibly nice and she was REALLY REALLY BORED in that tower) and just like…. you know,,,,,,, romance begins to bloom mayhaps

now I don’t know how to like really get across that one of their main commonalities is community, because in this scenario maia wouldn’t have a pack—unless we change canon even more and I’m just not going to rn, but put a pin in that

so like, maybe she really does care about her people and she super is a people person, but she hasn’t had many chances to show that because she’s been fucking locked up and that’s kind of messed with her you know

god you know I want to include jordan and camille here but I wouldn’t even know how to—I imagine jordan could be prince charming but he doesn’t come in until later and ehhh

so like raphael (and also magnus) are really helping her with that

and she’s also helping him be less closed off and… angry isn’t quite right, but like. she kind of helps both of them open up tbh. not to erase magnus’s friends but also I love a good magnus and maia friendship? but like she’s not afraid to start conversations or ask them questions or listen to their stories (and they listen to hers which is nice because she’s been talking mostly to walls and stuffed animals for a while now and books are great but it’s not the same)

and like she’s free not to have to act like a perfect delicate princess, but she’s also free to be vulnerable and soft too you know

so like okay also lord farquaad or however you spell it I don’t care is jace. I mean obviously annoying lord tiny penis is jace. duh. (oh my god does this mean alec eats jace--?)

and like idk this is a very scattered concept—I’m not sure these communication kings would really do the main plot of shrek where an overheard misunderstood snippet of conversation leads to such a huge conflict but I mean if he was really just beginning to open up to her and then he thought she thought downworlders were disgusting or whatever (wait no that wouldn’t work because she can’t say vampires but she can’t be saying that to magnus, either—fuck I don’t know like I said it needs reworking to fit) he could be devastated enough to just be like well fuck it

AND LIKE AGAIN. DRAGON ALEC. EATS JACE. amazing. everyones like “raphael is your friend... fucking a dragon” and raphael is like “please never say those words to me again” and alec’s like (in human form, they don’t realize he’s the dragon even tho raphael does) “actually a dragon is fucking raphael’s friend” and raphael is like shut the fuck up right now 

idk I feel like a lot of details make it not work but the overall concept could be fun as hell, probably mostly as a crack au

 god I just wanted a fairy tale au. soft princess maia, young hero raphael, kindly wizard magnus. goin’ on a quest. savin’ people. is that too much to ask for???

my brain says yes.

[imanes]

i would genuinely like to hear your thoughts about jenny sl*te

i don’t have a lot of thoughts about her as a person besides the fact that when character limit doesn’t force her into being concise, she’ll fall into the trap of self-satisfied whimsical egocentric rambles that don’t make any sense. her tweets were cute when i used to see them pop here and there but let’s just say that i do not vibe with the energy displayed in her book. i thought i was getting a memoir but i got a collection of weird essays with run-on sentences that screamed “look i’m the quirky girl! i am so quirky! look at me i’ll use words like boinks and zoinks and i’ll talk about my singing pussy and the rabbit that i french kissed!” and it looks like a gross caricature but i’m taking these words out of her book ajfjdlgj anyways hate this book zero out of ten would not recommend unless you want to read the strange ramblings of someone who thinks in circles that never stray too far from their own ass. 

[florenceathanas]

dhtask iii.

“ a study in identity and illusion. ”

-----------------------------------------------------------------

triggers: domestic abuse, implied child abuse, misogyny

march 14th, 2019: 4:00 PM

he realized it was his birthday.

he realized he could barely remember his birth name.

he realized he didn’t miss it.

march 14th, 1999: 4:00 PM

'zoinks! the mystery machine is on the way join us at [redacted]’s birthday! (sunday march 14th 3:00 PM kidzania RSVP by march 8th to [redacted]’

it was the one day of the year that they spent more than £7 on him. it was the one day of the year that his dad could convince his mom to let him wear his favorite pink shirt ( polo, his dad gave it to him on his fifth birthday – it barely fit anymore, but he liked it all the same ). it was the one day of the year that all of the kids he knew pretended they knew him.

it was his favorite day of the year.

and it was time for presents.

angelique had wrapped her present to him in yellow polka dots. birthday bear was inside.

he liked the care bears. his mom didn’t.

monica had wrapped her present to him in pink. a plush unicorn was inside.

he liked unicorns. his mom didn’t. 

neely had wrapped her present to him in yellow and purple stripes. a new plum shirt was inside.

he liked plum. his mom didn’t.

bruce had wrapped his present to him in a truck pattern. a play truck was inside.

he didn’t like trucks. his mom did.

benjamin had wrapped his present to him in white and red. a basketball was inside.

he didn’t like basketball. his mom did.

sergio had wrapped his present to him in blue. hot wheels were inside.

he didn’t like hot wheels. his mom did.

march 14th, 1999: 6:00 PM

at home with the presents angelique, monica, and neely had given him tucked safely away in the garbage, his dad held out a scooby-doo patterned box. there was no wrapping paper.

a garfield chia pet and another pink shirt were inside.

“ i had my eye on this, ah, this really nice beginner gardening set, ” he began with a smile in spite of the sadness in his eyes. “ but there’s not a lotta good places to garden around here. ” and that was true. but his eyes also drifted upwards to [redacted]’s mom, standing above the both of them. then his eyes looked to the hole in the wall. then back to his beaming son.

“ yeah, yeah. here, ” she said, no preamble. the box was adorned in trucks.

another play truck and a shirt that said ‘lady’s man’ were inside.

“ i spent a lot of money on those. i expect you to play with them and wear that. ”

the room filled up with sadness. dad was sad that he couldn’t bring himself to step in. mom was sad that dad was encouraging this behavior. son was sad that his parents were sad. son was sad that his favorite toys would be taken away.

march 14th, 1999: 8:00 PM

the walls were paper thin, the reason they’d gotten so many noise complaints over the years. and there was a hole. he always saw it as heart-shaped. his mother had done it out of love.

through the hole, and through those thin walls, he could hear them arguing. the garbage disposal was running. he knew his unicorn plush had been cut up and fed to it. 

but he was allowed to keep his care bear. that made him happy.

“ stop encouraging this fucking behavior ! ” “ he’s a kid, jas. let him do what he wants to do. ” “ he’s gonna get himself beat. ” “ by you. ” SLAP ! “ don’t you disrespect me like that. who’s the one paying for this shit, hm ? i haven’t ever seen you signing a check for this shithole, lazy ass. get a better fucking job, then we’ll – ” “ you know i’ve tried, but my leg – ” SLAP !  “ oh, i’m so sorry your leg hurts. oh, i’m so sorry you can’t do anything ‘cause you got a little fucking scrape – man the hell up. no wonder he’s such a damn pansy. ” “ you know that my leg – ” SLAP ! “ you get a better job. you be a better father, a better fucking role model. then we can talk. ”

march 14th, 2002: 3:00 PM

his first birthday at the house. his first birthday as ‘florence.’ and he was happy. he got that beginner gardening set that his dad had wanted to get him. he also got a betty spaghetty. he also got another care bear. he wanted to pretend he was too old for a betty spaghetty and a care bear, but he loved them.

but he missed his dad. his Father wasn’t really the same.

and he remembered seeing his dad’s sad smile as he was escorted out. he looked at the heart-shaped hole. and then he looked back at [redacted], now florence. and he made a heart with his hands. and he mouthed ‘i love you. goodbye.’ and the last words he heard were from his mother. and she said: “ this is the kind of bullshit that happens when you- ” and then he couldn’t hear the end of her sentence.

he wore his favorite pink shirt. it was almost like a crop top now.

“ florence, make a wish ! ”

but he didn’t know what to wish for. so he didn’t. he just blew out the candles.

[mainly-kpop]

Viagra Series

Namjoon ft Yoongi

Word count: 1768

Warnings: smut obviously, pill taking, daddy kink, sharing, phone sex?

Waking up abruptly to have something to eat seems like an easy enough task. Unless you're namjoon, who is trying to keep every ounce of sleep he has left in his body. If only he had picked the correct cupboard.

He rolled out of bed early that morning, or late that night, he didn’t want to know. All he knew is he should be asleep right now, the soft snores to his left solidifying the idea in his head. If his brain could connect with his stomach for once in it’s life, maybe he wouldn’t wake up at god knows what time for fucking snacks.

He trudged himself to the kitchen, pulling open the cupboard. Picking out a random box he opened it up feeling it before shrugging. Realistically he should just open his eyes, look at what the hell he had in his hands before throwing it into his mouth. However, he was aware M&Ms had new packaging, so who was he to question snack wrappers these days? Popping one into his mouth he crunched down, grimacing at the taste. Not M&Ms, definitely not. He poured a glass of water, chugging it to rid the taste, that almost tasted like-.

‘Joonie, what are you doing in the medicine cabinet?’ She questioned tiredly, rubbing her eyes, god she was so adorable. Wait medicine cabinet?! He opened his eyes fully, looking at the packet in question. No, oh dear lord, no.

‘I thought it tasted a bit strange. Zoinks scoob, that’s problematic.’ She frowned confused, what the ever loving god?

‘Zoinks scoob? Problematic? Are you high? What did you take?’ She walked over to the counter, looking at the packet, the writing in full white block letters. She snickered looking at the man beside her, blush over his cheeks. She looked down at his pants, seeing the growing bulge.

‘Huh, it really is fast acting look at that.’ She spoke impressed, the more you know.

‘Oh baby, looks like we are in for a long night.’ He growled, picking her up from her waist carrying her back to bed, she squealed smacking his hands so he would put her down.

‘Joonie! It’s early morning, you can’t do this I have plans today! With viagra in your system, I’ll never make it!’ He stood still for a moment, grip not easing on her, she puffed out air crossing her arms.

‘Then cancel your plans, it’s gonna be a good morning.’ He spoke smugly, running the rest of the way to their bedroom, god save the neighbor’s.

She couldn’t believe he was doing this, it’s 5 A.M for god sake! He wiggled off her PJ bottoms before wiggling his trousers off also.

‘Wow, wow, wow, you aren’t just going straight in right?’ She stopped him, hand pressed to his chest. He put his hand over his heart, a hurt hiss slipping through his teeth.

‘What do you think I am? An animal?!’ She rolled her eyes, a sigh coming out her mouth. He slipped down to his knees, bringing her body closer to the edge of the bed. Stroking his hands up and down her thighs, he spread them apart effortlessly, the cold air hitting her core. She wasn’t all that aroused before, she had only just opened her eyes for god sake. However, now with him between her legs, eyes animalistic and full of want. She could feel herself getting wet, her little bud getting hard, a soft whimper struggling to be held back.

‘Baby, look at the state of you, and I’ll I did was get on my knees. Such a little whore for me.’ He growled, trailing his middle finger through the wetness that already pooled between her legs.

‘I’ll always be your little whore daddy, tease me like the bad girl I am.’ He was taken back for a minute, she never behaved like this, asking to be punished. To be honest, it was a new side of her he could get used to.

‘You want to be punished huh? Tell me all the naughty things you’ve done baby, make it worth my while.’ He whispered, a lustful rumble to his words. His finger dipping inside her every so often, then pulling out like it never happened.

‘I’ve been such a naughty whore daddy. I touched myself yesterday, I didn’t even send you a video. I thought of you, your name slipping from my lips as I came, but I didn’t want you to see it. It was for me.’ She teased him, his jaw clenching at this fact. He loved knowing she was getting herself off, whether he knew about it before, during or after. He loved knowing her fingers were deep inside herself, vibrator pressed to her clit.

‘What did you do baby, show daddy.’ She whimpered as he pulled his hand away, slowly replacing it with her own. It wasn’t unusual for Namjoon to request she pleasure herself, he loved watching her fall apart whether it was his doing or not. That was probably why he was happy with threesome, no matter the participant. Sometimes he would sit off to the side, watch her get fucked by one of his friends. The noises that spilled from her mouth. None of this phased him because he knew, no matter what she would always need him. Need his dick, his words, his fingers, mouth, everything about him drove her wild and he knew this. No matter how good his friends were. He was better.

He watched her slip her fingers gently inside of herself, moving them around until her back arched, finding the spot inside herself.

‘What else baby, how else have you been a naughty girl?’ He questioned, she whimpered, suppressing it by biting down on her lip.

‘I was thinking about Yoongi again yesterday, god his dick was so good. Daddy, I got wet thinking about him, I want him again so bad.’ She whimpered, feeling like she was pushing herself over the edge. Before she could reach her climax, Namjoon pulled her fingers out of her, dark eyes focused on her.

‘That is naughty, very naughty. Those thoughts are not something daddy likes to hear.’ He spoke stretching his neck standing over her body. He held out his hand, pulling her to her feet, bodies flushed together.

‘On your knees princess, show me how sorry you are.’ She dropped to her knees quickly, and obediently. He smirked, the control he had over her making his dick twitch. She wrapped her lips instantly around the tip, knowing teasing him was only going to get her more punishments. He groaned, the feeling of her warm lips wrapped delicately around his dick. His head rolling back as he wrapped a hand around her hair, pushing her further and further down. She gagged lightly, tears stinging the corners of her eyes, but he just praised her.

‘I’m going to start now baby, if it gets too much show me what you’re going to do.’ He commanded. She responded by tapping his thigh two times before he smiled, praising her again. He pulled himself out her mouth, head resting on the tip of her tongue. Relaxing her throat and letting her jaw go slack, she sucked in a deep breath readying herself for what was to come. Slowly he eased himself back in, tip hitting the back of her throat, she swallowed around him puppy dog eyes locked with his. He began thrusting shallowly into her throat, pulling out the littlest bit before shoving straight into her throat. Drool dripped down her chin, trailing down her throat, soaking the little shirt she had on. Namjoon growled, feeling himself getting close. The look on her face, the tears falling from her eyes. The drool dripping down her chin, landing on the shirt making her hard nipples even more visible. Pulling himself out of her mouth, she gasped for air, sucking in whatever she could. He got on his knees cradling her face in his hands, wiping the drool from her chin.

‘So good baby, you did so well. On the bed, daddy isn’t done with you yet.’ As she crawled up the bed, he grabbed his phone punching in his pin and searching something.

‘Daddy what are you doing?’ She whispered, already having a slight incline to what he was doing. The phone rang on speaker for a moment before she heard a voice through the device.

‘Do you know what the fucking time is?!’ He screamed through the mic, causing Namjoon to lightly laugh. He crawled over the bed, putting the phone down beside her head.

‘You’re going to wanna be up for this Yoongi. Baby? On all fours, why don’t you tell him how much you miss him while I fuck you raw.’ She wasted no time, crawling onto her knees, putting herself face down on the pillow. He slid himself in with ease, stopping momentarily as she moaned right into the phone. Yoongi letting a string of curse words filter through the device, she whimpered in embarrassment and arousal. Knowing he could hear her, what she had to say to him, it was so hot.

‘Yoongi, I’m such a naughty girl. I miss your dick so much I- FUCK.’ She screamed, Namjoon slamming into her hard, over and over. Words failing her both the boys egged her on, wanting to hear more.

‘Keep going baby, tell him what you want.’ Namjoon said, breathing heavy. Yoongi joining in next, begging her for more.

‘Come on princess, keep going, I’m so close.’ He moaned, the clear evidence of him getting himself off. She whimpered, feeling herself hurdling past the point of no return. Feeling Namjoon’s hips stuttering, hearing Yoongi’s moans turn to whimpers.

‘Yoongi I want you to fuck me while daddy watches, I want you to fuck me so hard I can’t remember anything but your name. FUCK, Yoongi, daddy, please.’ She sobbed, body collapsing onto the bed, the power of her orgasm making her knees and arms weak. A breathy yet deep moan sounded through the phone, a sure sign that he came at the same time. Namjoon followed closely behind, fingertips digging into the swell of her ass.

‘Anyway…’ Namjoon spoke after everyone gathered their breath back. ‘I’m sure we can arrange something soon, right Yoongi?’ He questioned, leaving butterfly kisses along her back and shoulder.

‘For you two? I’m free whenever you want me.’ He whispered, leaving a tired and excited smile on her face. As the phone call ends, she hangs it up giggling.

‘Such a naughty girl, bet that made you want round two, no?’ He questioned, pouncing on her, she squealed in shock.

‘SHUT THE FUCK UP IT’S SIX AM YOU PIGS!!’ Came a scream and a thump from next door, they both looked at each other in horror, giggling embarrassed.

[stevecanmakeanythingnerdy]

Battle #9

Fotomaker : Vis-A-Vis ( Side Two )

Vs.

Rhythm Collision : Now! ( Side One )

Fotomaker : Vis-A-Vis ( Side Two )

Fotomaker was a power pop group from Long Island, NY which released three albums between 1978 and 1979. They made three albums within the span of a little over a year, the third of which is considered the weakest of the three. They failed to achieve any success, mostly due to lack of record company promotion. So why, then, was a poorly producing band able to survive label scrutiny so long (labels are notoriously cut throat to their artists who don’t sell the right number of units)? Well, probably because of the credentials. The band was formed in 1977 by bassist Gene Cornish and drummer Dino Danelli, former members of The Rascals. Rounding out the group was guitarist/vocalist Wally Bryson, formerly of Raspberries and guitarist/vocalist Lex Marchesi and keyboardist/vocalist Frankie Vinci. Although Marchesi and Vinci were relatively unknown, they were undoubtedly the core talent that drove the band with their versatile songwriting and vocal skills. Their first album was classic power pop material straight out of the late 70s scene. By the third album, they were all out disco...This, however, is their second album. The band began a steady decline with this one. The first song on Side two is “If I Can’t Believe In You”. It starts out well intentioned with a piano like ballad/lite rock feel. Breezy and easy but pays off in no way. Very forgettable IMO. “Come Back” is a better build in design. The progression is more mature and legitimate. It might be one of the better laid out blueprints of the whole bunch. “Two Way Streetlight” follows and is another easy, laid back smoothie. Not quite to yacht rock level, but pretty darn close. I mean I don’t see Kenny Loggins footloose-ing all over this track, but he’s probably lurking nearby if I had to guess. Diet rock for sure. It might pair well on a dentist office mix with James Taylor. “Sweet Lies” finally seems to be a track with some balls! This is more like their debut. A nice bluesy riff with a solo and good energy. “Make It Look Like An Accident” is a great song title, but lacks a little on the back end. It’s an almost...slow dance...Country song...question mark?? Yikes. The thing of it is, the band IS talented. And their credentials don’t lie, they have the chops. They just didn’t deliver on this one. The album is well produced and (perhaps unintentionally) it does manage to read like a family photo album...or should I say FOTO album (#seewhatididthere). It’s all over the place though with it’s different phases of life. Perhaps that was already the label hedging their bets and scrambling to get a “hit” out there.

Rhythm Collision : Now! ( Side One )

Rhythm Collision was a 3-piece punk rock band from California. Agoura if I am remembering correctly. Their albums have an unofficial theme, usually depicting a cartoony iconic angry girl smashing or punching things. An early release chronicles “the girl with the purple hair” which I believe is the reference being made. Dr. Strange Records is the band’s early home. DSR is a record label and record store located in Alta Loma, California. It started out as an apartment-based distro in 1988 and became a record label in 1989, run out of the "Doc's" apartment until 1997, when the store was first opened. Early on the label had a reputation for quality punk rock records with a varied and diverse roster. Bands like Sinkhole, Face To Face, Voodoo Glowskulls, Zoinks!, Gameface, Guttermouth, and The Bollweevils (a Chicago legend) called the label home so they didn’t exactly put out bad records. Rhythm Collision was right at home with their blistering, sometimes breakneck speed brand of pop punk meets So-Cal skate punk. Effectively, RC brought some complexity to theme early pop punk scene and helped create a melodic element that later contemporaries would adopt and reshape. Now is their sophomore album from 1993. It starts with the blitzing “Burning Bridges” with it’s fast, punky attitude and yell singing vocal style. Harlan has just the right amount of snot and grit without being too over the top (a very early 90s style. Impressive and meaty bass and drum fills complete the blanks. “Potential” is the next track. A little slower but bouncy. This is the first band I ever saw do work shirts (an Uber 90s trend) as merchandise. I thought it was a pretty cool idea, but by 1995 every band was doing it and it seemed lame. “Irrepressible” is next. It’s and odd word to try and fit into the cadence of a punk song, but RC did it! This one is mega fast! I was very impressed back in the day at the percussion speed. High energy and I love the leads. “Fade” gives you a sugary blast of mid tempo melodies and power, while “Happy” may be the most diverse sounding jam on here. Fast and slow with a meandering bass line. This kind of talent is exactly why I listen to punk and like listening to records. It just contributes to the feeling the music engages. Rhythm Collision certainly treads the line between alternative and punk but in the best ways and intentions. Technically it is a split release between Dr. Strange and their own Collision records. The band loves purple and it shows on this release, purple marble swirl. I used to super love this band so much that I interviewed them for my music fanzine and somehow got myself invited to a Chicago scene-ster house party in which they were the band playing. There were exclusive tee shirts and everything and the faux band Lampshadehead was born. Lots of drunkenness (not by me, I was straightedge at the time) and I remember feeling pretty lame and out of place about it all. The band was great but it was pretty much the moment I realized that even so called punks can be lame ass mo-fos too. (Not the band, the other attendees). I don’t even think I wore the shirt even once, but I still have it somewhere.

Today, Fotomaker dusted off their camera obscura vis-a-vis some music. They played 5 songs over 22 minutes and 135 calories. They burned 27 calories per song and 6.14 calories per minute. They also earned 8 out of 15 possible stars. Rhythm Collision made the decision to play precision power pop punk...and they did it...Now! They burned 113 calories over 5 songs and 17 minutes. They averaged 22.60 calories burned per song and 6.65 calories burned per minute. They earned a whopping 14 out of 15 possible stars. Rhythm Collision wins today’s challenge!

Rhythm Collision : “Irrepressible”

https://youtu.be/wS4L1ltRaCo

#Randomrecordworkoutseasonseven

#Randomrecordworkout

[crusherthedoctor]

Sonic Villains: Sweet or Shite? - Part 11: THE MONSTERS OF THE WEEK

There are some villains I like. And there are some villains I don’t like. But why do I feel about them the way I do? That’s where this comes in.

This is a series of mine in which I go into slightly more detail about my thoughts on the villains in the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise, and why I think they either work well, or fall flat (or somewhere in-between). I’ll be giving my stance on their designs, their personalities, and what they had to show for themselves in the game(s) they featured in. Keep in mind that these are just my own personal thoughts. Whether you agree or disagree, feel free to share your own thoughts and opinions! I don’t bite. :>

Anyhow, for today’s installment, we’ll be cancelling our flight to Tokyo as we look up at the impressive size of a particular recurring brand of foe in Sonic's universe: the Monsters of the Week. (Excluding Chaos, who we've already covered.)

So for reasons that should be obvious, this edition of Sweet or Shite is going to be a little different. Seeing how we’re covering more than one villain - and since you can only say so much about characters who aren’t really characters - this will instead be a series of mini-reviews, one after another, for each monster. I figured this was the best course of action since the alternative would be to go back and forth constantly between the monsters, and that would just be messy.

Also, none of these guys have much in the way of personality aside from “DESTROY FUCKING EVERYTHING GRRRRRRR”, so I’m not even going to bother analysing their “personalities”. Everything else will be the same as usual, of course.

And yes, I’m treating Iblis and Solaris as individual monsters. Because they barely have anything in common despite being the same beast.

Right then, we’ve got a lot of these king-size bastards to cover. Let’s go.

------

MONSTER #1: THE BIOLIZARD

The Gist: In the endgame for Sonic Adventure 2, the late Professor Gerald Robotnik was revealed to have programmed his Space Colony A.R.K. to crash down to the planet and destroy it should the Eclipse Cannon be equipped with all seven Chaos Emeralds. The heroes and villains teamed up to combat this threat (thus completely negating the game's Hero VS Dark selling point), and together, they made their way to the cannon's core.

What they didn't expect however was for their target to be guarded. In order to stop the A.R.K. from falling, they were forced to deal with the Biolizard, Gerald's original attempt at creating the Ultimate Lifeform before he decided to take a page from the Sonic OC booklet with his second attempt, Shadow. Thanks to seeing the error of his ways courtesy of one Amy Rose, Shadow himself confronted his older sibling, and Knuckles used the Master Emerald to cancel out the power of the Chaos Emeralds, thus preventing the A.R.K's collision...

Just kidding. As if to laugh at the very idea of Knuckles actually having a useful role in this game beyond treasure hunting fodder, the Biolizard immediately used Chaos Control to assume direct control of the A.R.K. in order to continue its collision course. Sonic and Shadow had no choice but to go Super, and with their powers combined, the Biolizard was beaten for good, the A.R.K. was stopped once and for all, and Shadow died but not really.

Sonic and Shadow were hailed as heroes. Even though everyone else contributed too. But apparently, only the heroes with super forms are allowed to be on the President's desk.

The Design: The Biolizard is a failed prototype, and it shows.

He's gonna sweep them bitches off their feet with a face like that.

Surprisingly, I actually dig his design. It's a bit messy, sure, but that works to his benefit in this case, since as a failed creation who demands a life support system just to function, it's justified within the context. It's a cool mesh of organic and technology, and it perfectly demonstrates the horrors that can come with trying to play God and creating life.

Unfortunately, his final form is underwhelming. He "fuses" with the A.R.K, but don't get your hopes up. It's the same design as before, only... well...

Yeah. It's just... right up there. All the way through.

The Execution: The Biolizard technically doesn't come out of nowhere, since there's a Dark Story cutscene that foreshadows his existence. But he still feels very WTF in spite of that. This adventure involving G.U.N, Dr. Eggman, and a feud between two hedgehogs, and this thing is the final challenge? It doesn't help that despite the relation, he feels very disconnected to Shadow's story when compared to Gerald, Maria, etc. (And yet ironically, he's the most interesting part IMO.)

So in regards to proper build up for a final boss, he's a bit shit. But since I like his design, and since his theme music is kickass, I'll give him a little step up. Just a little one.

Crusher Gives the Biolizard a: Thumbs Sideways!

------

MONSTER #2: IBLIS

The Gist: In the future, everything was a shitehole. This was due to a terrible beast known as Fire Chaos Iblis, who spread his penchant for destruction everywhere he went, leaving behind nothing but ruins in the process. A young hedgehog named Silver, and his friend named Blaze, have fought him for a very long time at the expense of Blaze's actual backstory, but nothing they could do kept Iblis down for long. Desperate to save their world, they followed the advice of comic relief character Mephiles the Dark, which was to find the so-called Iblis Trigger of the past via time travel, and destroy him. That Iblis Trigger was none other than Sonic the Hedgehog himself.

Except not. Turns out the guy with no mouth and snake eyes named after Mephistopheles wasn't all that trustworthy, and was using Silver for his own purposes. Undaunted, Silver continued to do a bunch of things that meant little-to-nothing, before finally defeating Iblis for definite because... he was stronger this time, I guess?

But Zoinks, Scoob! He couldn't seal Iblis away! Luckily and unluckily for him, Blaze was able to do so, and with a few emotional parting words, she vanished from Silver's time to get ready for a better game stop the threat of Iblis. That's not the end of Iblis' story however, because as it turns out, he's only part of something even more destructive... Also, Silver and Blaze didn't achieve anything anyway since Mephiles unleashed Iblis in the present time after killing Sonic.

Lol.

The Design: Get ready for a trilogy of fatigue.

You have Phase 1, which is just a clump of lava with some arms:

Good at mix tapes though.

Phase 2 is a replica of his Iblis Worm minions, but bigger. That's it.

Even he looks tired.

And for Phase 3, he finally realises he should probably try to look more worthy of a main baddie, but it still falls flat due to his ridiculous anchor feet:

"~Lava bone's connected to the fire bone~"

On the whole? Wank.

The Execution: He's from Sonic '06. What do you think?

Outside of being a lame version of Chaos, what else is there to say?

Crusher Gives Iblis a: Thumbs Down!

------

MONSTER #3: SOLARIS

The Gist: Remember Iblis? The guy I just talked about? Well he wasn't brought into existence as Iblis, but rather Solaris, the flame of hope. A time-dwelling entity of sorts, the kingdom of Soleanna had worshipped him for as long as they've lived, for reasons that can best be described as "fuck knows". In particular, Soleanna's ruler, the Duke, was devoted to harnessing the power of Solaris for the sake of being able to control time itself, and thus bring his wife back from the dead.

Sure enough, he joined her once more... by ironically getting himself killed in an accident during one of his experiments on Solaris, which also happened to split the entity into two different beings: the raw power named Iblis, and the subconscious named Mephiles the Dark. Before he died however, the Duke made the brave and heroic sacrifice of sealing Iblis - the fiery demon of death - within his own daughter, with the added deal of her never being able to cry unless that demon gets free, because who cares, she was adopted anyway.

She's guaranteed to be a strong queen if she can withstand a lifetime's worth of severe heartburn.

Anyway, the Duke got a Game Over, Silver the Hedgehog left a Chaos Emerald in his daughter's presence at the expense of the overall Sonic the Hedgehog continuity, and that was that. Ten years later, Sonic and Eggman had a tussle in Soleanna that I'm not even going to bother talking about because it's that unimportant, and eventually the aforementioned Mephiles gives Sonic a Game Over, causing Princess Elise to cry and thus release Iblis. Mephiles, the shadowy hedgehog, then uses the Chaos Emeralds to rejoin with Iblis, the fire lizard, to become Solaris, the bird made of light... Okay then.

Solaris threatens to consume all of time and space, but before he can do that, his decision to throw the Chaos Emeralds away like disused wrappers comes back to bite him in the ass, because through his friends' wise decision to collect them all, Sonic is brought back to life, and in his super form at that. Together, with Super Shadow and Super Silver, they kick Solaris' shit in, until it reverts to its original form of a tiny flame, and after some hesitance born from the sorrow of losing her biggest friendship, Elise ultimately makes the right decision and blows out the flame, thus creating a new future where Solaris - and the events of Sonic the Hedgehog 2006 in general - never happened.

Does that mean the Duke is alive? What does Soleanna worship now that Solaris never existed? Who knows, who cares, I'm already getting bored talking about these guys.

The Design: Unlike with Iblis, I actually like Solaris' forms, since there's an attempt to give them some elegance rather than just making them generically ugly. Even if Phase 1 looks as though he's got a steering wheel on his back...

Literally at the helm.

And Phase 2 looks like it could be desecrated by the Dark Lord Ganondorf at any moment...

"Who wants a hug?"

But overall? I like them.

The Execution: It's still '06, so his chances aren't looking good. I WOULD give Solaris some leeway since like with the Biolizard, I like his designs and his music (though I'm that weird guy who prefers Phase 1's music)...

Buuuuuut he's still the endgame of an absolutely shitty and plothole-infested narrative. And he's technically Mephiles, so...

Crusher Gives Solaris a: Thumbs Down!

------

MONSTER #4: IFRIT

The Gist: Iblis got its own ripoff.

That ripoff's name was Ifrit.

It was in Sonic Rivals 2.

Eggman Nega sought to unleash it.

And it liked to feed on Chao, allegedly.

......

So anyway, how's your sex life?

The Design: Despite being the younger sibling, it's design is arguably better than that of Iblis. It's still nothing amazing mind you, but it's got a Firebird thing going on, so that alone makes it more pleasing to look at than any of Iblis' forms. And if it were in a fully 3D game rather than on the PSP, it would probably look a lot better with its visuals too.

Ifrit wants a belly rub!

The Execution: He shows up at the end to get killed.

Next.

Crusher Gives Ifrit a: Thumbs Down!

------

MONSTER #5: DARK GAIA

The Gist: One day, Dr. Eggman decided to have yet another go at controlling a giant monster. This resulted in the events of Sonic Unleashed, which started off with a bang when after a spectacle of action and destruction in the far reaches of space, Sonic was lured into a devilish trap by the wicked scientist. Using the negative energies of the Chaos Emeralds, Eggman fired a laser that literally broke the planet apart, in an attempt to unleash (HA!) the being sleeping within the planet's core: Dark Gaia.

Those negative energies also turned Sonic into a bizarre werewolf-hedgehog hybrid, which wasn't intentional on Eggman's part, but he dealt with him easily by letting him fall all the way down to the planet... along with the sapped Chaos Emeralds. Oops.

With the help of a strange little guy with amnesia named Chip, Sonic and his new alter-ego - the Werehog - went on a grand day out to find the Gaia Temples around the world, with the idea being to restore the Emeralds' energy one by one. All the while, Dark Gaia kept... existing, and Eggman tried to stop them. Eventually, it's revealed that Chip, bog standard comic relief that he is, was in fact Light Gaia all along, the fated nemesis of Dark Gaia. After all, you can't have dark without light, just as you can't have light without dark.

"I wish I knew how to quit you... and this boss fight."

Same song and dance from then on. Dark Gaia pops up, Sonic and Chip beat it, Gaia gets angry and transforms, then they beat it again with Super Sonic. Chip says goodbye as he prepares to sleep for nearly an eternity to keep Dark Gaia at bay, which could be seen as a metaphor for how I'm close to falling asleep for eternity due to how genuinely exhausting it is to talk about these non-characters.

The Design: I really do not like Dark Gaia's design. Outside of the purple tentacles, which are admittedly pretty cool, he's just a stick with eyes and teeth. That's all he is.

Nice nail polish, prick.

And when he becomes Perfect Ultra Mega Dark Gaia 2: The Return of Jafar, what does he transform into? ...A stick with MORE eyes and teeth.

"I'm never drinking Chaos Cola again, Chip."

So yeah. His design is boring. And he could do with eating more.

The Execution: Dark Gaia is at least set up from the beginning rather than showing up haphazardly towards the end, but that's about all the praise I can give it. Despite everything to do with Chip, the Gaia Temples, and the Gaia Manuscripts, there's still not nearly enough to make Dark Gaia truly stand out. It's the personification of the world's darkness, and it's involved in a cycle with Light Gaia... what else? What else is there for me to care about?

Also, its boss fight was the worst, and coming after the Egg Dragoon, it was like a slap in the face. Say what you will about the guy below, at least you can deal with him quickly.

Crusher Gives Dark Gaia a: Thumbs Down!

------

MONSTER #6: TIME EATER

The Gist: Young Sonic was on his merry way, then a time monster showed up to cause trouble... in time. Young Sonic was thus forced to team up with Older Sonic to combat this threat.

So they did.

......

At least Eggman was in control this time. Or Eggmen, rather.

"Did I ever tell you the time I wrote about how Sonic the Hedgehog had it pretty rough lately...?"

The Design: Not too bad, actually. Sure, it looks like a stereotypical ghost at first...

"WHAZAAAAAAAAPPPP"

...But once it's revealed to be mechanized by the Eggmen, we see its true, clockwork-esque form:

Might want to get those boils checked, buddy.

As a robotic Frankenstein abomination, I really like its time aesthetic, and its twitching and whirring, as if it's trying in vain to fight back against the Eggmen's control. Like the Biolizard, the context allows it to be a bit hideous, and it still looks cool despite that.

The Execution: Am I going to give the Time Eater a complete free pass just because it's the one that Eggman successfully controlled? No. I will freely admit that there was not enough to establish it in a way that felt satisfying, and some would say to a worse extent than Solaris or Dark Gaia.

But here's the thing: I'm more willing to let these things slide if the game isn't forcing me to try and care about it. Or to put it in another way, the plot of Sonic Generations may very much be an excuse plot in its purest form, and that will always be a shame, but that's actually why I don't mind this as much. Generations isn't pretending that the Time Eater is anything more than what it is. It's not hyping it up without being able to back its "lore" up. It's nothing more than the justification for why we're having this adventure. And since Eggman is the real baddie pulling the strings anyway, I look at Time Eater as a plot device used by Eggman, than as an actual entity of its own.

Note that I'm not saying this is ideal. I'd have loved it if Generations had more of a story, and I'd have loved it if Time Eater had more lore behind it to back it up. But I'm explaining why I'm not so harsh on it as I am with Dark Gaia or Iblis, who their respective plots tried so hard to make me care about as big bad threats, only for it to fail miserably due to how mind-numbingly boring they are. It's a lesser of two evils situation, and I'm just giving my stance on it.

Plus, again, I actually like Time Eater's design. And Eggman did succeed with it...

Crusher Gives Time Eater a: Thumbs Sideways!

------

So that’s it then. That’s your lot for today. Some of them are okay, most of them are crap, none of them are as good as Chaos. I apologise if this edition of Sweet or Shite felt a bit rushed or shoddy, but in my defense, it's hard to say much for these guys, and I try not to be too repetitive.

......

Here’s a Shadow for you.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #207

“it’s late, and you’re still staring at the light; to call it an addiction’s impolite.”

Nevermind what gender you ARE, what gender do you WANT to be? Happy being a girl. Do you ever feel ashamed revealing your age? When it's to people who are aware of how behind I am in the adult world in any context, yes. Very. If they know nothing about me, then I don't care. Are you confident enough to reveal your height and weight? Height, I don't care. Weight, fuck no. What do your parents call you? Both usually say "Britt," but Dad's more likely to use terms of endearment like "sweetie" and such. Well, Mom does use "hunny" a lot too. How old were you when you first got to go on the computer? Idr. About the "normal" age for little kids that played Neopets, probably. Would you say you’re an emotional person? Way too emotional. What’s a color that suits you the best? Black. And a color you just can’t pull off/don’t want to? Probably most... I wouldn't know, almost every single thing I wear is black. I have literally one light purple shirt, and I think that's the only non-black shirt I own. Describe yourself when you were 6 years old? Very talkative, extremely imaginative, outgoing, I was definitely weird, tomboyish, very happy... Man, I miss being that kid sometimes. A type of personality you just can't stand? The older and older I get, the more I cannot STAND a closed mind. I like people who accept they're far from always right, and sometimes, your "right" isn't such for someone else, and that is fine. You don't have to see the same way to still get along perfectly (though of course, there's no need to respect an opinion that spits upon, invalidates, or is just plain hateful towards another person/group). Like just as an example 'cuz I feel like I explained that poorly; I'm really not into the idea of polygamy at all, but I'm not against it for people it works with. You do you. Your appearance in one word would be? "Abilify." :^) City type of person or country? I like the live in a more country-ish area, but I found through Chicago I LOVE /visiting/ cities. What’s something you’re obsessed about right now? When am I not obsessed with Mark, meerkats, Silent Hill, opossums (a newer addition), WoW, etc. etc.? My whole life runs on obsessing over something, fren. Your reaction if someone told you you look 10 years older than your age? ZOINKS that would suck ass. Do you really badly want anything right now? For the past couple weeks, I've become more and more antsy to get up to Sara's again. When I land a job, fancyin' up my tattoo just because as I've said again and again it is SO important to me and must be perfect, then I'm saving up to go back up there. What’s something that makes you really stressed out? With all this job searching and such going on, it's like all I can think about, so why not mention what fucked me up at my previous ones: Putting me in a position of responsibility and expected knowledge. Ex., when I was a sales associate and was asked "Oh, do you have this?"/"Where is this?", it was CONSTANT PANIC MODE because I never knew and had to ask somebody, when I was expected to be a knowledgeable employee to the customer, and then comes the horror of feeling like I'm inconveniencing and annoying them. Have any particular standard look you look for in a significant other? I don't have a "standard look," no, but I am more likely to be drawn to a gothic appearance. But I don't actively search for someone that meets that criteria or anything. Do you listen to Wiz Khalifa? No. What are your opinions on marijuana legalization? Please legalize medicinal use already. Recreationally, idk. Do you date outside your own race? I'd have no reservations against it. I dated a Hispanic... less than a day, but still, you get the point that I don't have a problem with it. What are some of your turn-offs? SEXIST/MISOGYNISTIC, too old-fashioned, racist and/or homophobic, raunchy, arrogant/self-centered, lack of sincere interest and enthusiasm in conversation, poor hygiene, I'm gonna get SHIT ON for saying "too slutty," not taking dating seriously... that kinda stuff. I'm so picky. Are you gay, straight, bi, or trans? Bisexual. Are you vegetarian? If not, would you ever consider becoming one? I'm not now, but I hope to return to it after I get to my goal weight... In my few months of vegetarianism, it was proven that my immense pickiness with food was making the diet unhealthy for me, as I was strongly lacking in certain vitamins and such. I'm going to have to somehow overcome that if I want to return to it, which I REALLY do want to do the more and more I get into animal welfare and care. Are you in love? Yes. Are you more of a pessimist or an optimist? Pessimist, I think, out of the two. But I like to see myself as a realist. How much money is in your wallet? Literally just $11 lmao. What’s your favorite sex position? Only experienced in these with a man, so answering with that in mind. I like sitting on his lap, facing him, with my legs around his back. What do you ultimately wish for in life? Happiness and peace. Have you ever been pregnant? No. What do you think about tipping at restaurants? Tip your goddamn waiter/waitress, assholes. I do believe in tipping based on the quality of service, BUT at least give them SOMETHING for working. Do you have your driver’s license? No jkajdsklfaj;wer. I haaaave to practice more. Whenever I'm in the car, I always strongly prefer to listen to my music, controlling it from the passenger's seat, and at least right now, I can't drive with loud music, barely any at all really, so I have a hard time giving up blaring my music while Mom drives lmao. Have you ever passed out from drinking? No. What’s your favorite carnival food? Idk, I don't go nearly enough. Who did you last kiss? Romantically, Sara. Platonically, either my niece or nephew when leaving. Have you seen the final Harry Potter movie? I haven't even see one. Ever been called a slut? No. Would you ever have sex with someone not of your preferred sex? I'm bisexual so like- Would you ever get back together with any of your exes? No. Do you take any meds on a daily basis? Yep. What did you do today? Watched LPs as always; did some job searching; played WoW, way shorter than usual though; took a nap; made a new icon; took a shower; listened to music; did some social media scrolling. The usual stuff. What do you wear to bed at home? A tank top and pj pants. What do you wear to bed when you're somewhere else? The same, but with a bra. Is there a place you keep any prized/secret things whilst you’re away? No. Do you have any phobias? What? Why do you think you have this/them? I'll just talk about the unordinary ones, 'cuz I have a lot. The ones I'd consider "weird" are vomiting, whale sharks, and pregnancy. Vomiting is because it's just incredibly unpleasant, but also because I know what goes down is not supposed to come back up. Like no one likes puking, no shit, but I'm legit afraid of it and lock up on what to do when I feel it coming, like I don't know what to do. Whale sharks... ahaha. It literally came from World of Warcraft. The design of their mouths is fucking horrifying, and I hate hate hate how they sometimes phase in-and-out of the Vashj'ir map so just like pOP UP. NAH, SON. It's just their damn mouths, even though I know their esophagus is far too small to swallow a human. As for pregnancy, just... ew. I'm afraid of parasites, and it's a parasitic relationship. Something should NOT be growing inside of you. What skill do you possess that you are most proud of? I'm very compassionate, especially when it comes to others enduring emotional struggles. I really feel for hurting people. What is your greatest strength (e.g. honest, loyal, brave)? I have strong morals and stick to them. I'll always stand up for what I feel is right. What’s your greatest shortcoming or flaw (e.g. cowardly, alcoholic)? Ah jeez, there's a lot... but probably my anxiety. It's held me back and manipulated my actions since middle school. I struggle not followings its rules, but I'm sure trying. Who do you most admire? Mark, my mom, Sara, Sara's dad, Steve Irwin... man, there's too many great people. Who do you most love? Sara, my mom, and my pets, Teddy especially. What three things do you look for most in a partner? EXPRESSING OF THEIR EMOTIONS/TRULY FEELING!!!!!!!!, compassion, and a cool head. If you could ask God (to atheists - IF there was one) one question, what? Hm. Good question... There's a lot, but mostly little wonders; I feel like I have a decent understanding of the god I personally see, so don't have any magnificent questions. Perhaps regarding why they created our world. That'd be interesting. Rate yourself on these traits from 0 to 10: 0 - do not possess this trait. 10 - you have great amounts of this trait. Calm temper: 7. Charm: *big shrug* Cheerfulness: 3-4. Confidence: 0-3. Courtesy: 8-10. Curiosity: 6-10. Forgiveness: 9-10. Generosity: 8-10. Greed: 0-3. Helpfulness: Well, I like to try to help, but I don't feel I'm very successful at that, so idk. Honesty: 5-9, depending on who I'm talking to and what the subject is, I guess. Loyalty: This is very flexible, and I don't feel like I can put a number on it. It depends on how deserving you are of the trait, and yes, you can lose my loyalty in a heartbeat if you give me reason to take it away. Optimism: 0-4. Patience: This can go from a whopping 0 to a 10, lmao. Very dependent on the situation. Self-sacrifice: 8-9. Wit: -10. Briefly describe your family. Kinda broken. Tight bonds scattered between certain people, no bonds with others. What is the worst thing that has ever happened to you? The breakup. I wouldn't wish that night upon Satan himself. How did it affect you? We know. Have you ever had any recurring nightmares or themes in nightmares? Speaking of that... Jason is in most nightmares I remember. The common theme is it's either after the breakup and we have an awkward running in with each other, or it's long before when everything was "perfect." All things considered, I'd call even that a nightmare. Those fuck with me the most. Do you currently have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Yeah. Do you have any close friends? I can count those on maybe two fingers. Of what are you most proud? Letting Jason go. Of what are you most ashamed? I've talked about the Joel situation multiple times. What is your religion? Theist. Where do you stand on abortion? Mostly pro-choice. Where do you stand on the death penalty? Sometimes justifiable and one's deserving end. Felons are lucky enough it's done humanely. Where do you stand on wearing fur? If you're not surviving out in the arctic, fuck you and all you stand for. Could you kill somebody? I'm perfectly aware I could in defense situations. For what reason would you kill somebody? Defending myself or loved ones. Hell, probably even strangers. I'd kill a rapist with zero fucking hesitation, even if they were assaulting someone I'd never seen before. Would you SERIOUSLY CONSIDER killing anybody right now? No. Do you trust easily, or not? NOPE. What, if anything, would you sacrifice your life for? Defending peace, gay rights, or if it was to protect most of those I love. What are your dreams/ambitions/goals? Be a successful photographer, reach financial stability, come to a point where I'm actually proud of what I've done, play a roll in wildlife conservation, be happily married, and just overall be content and satisfied with my life. How do you plan to reach them? Working my goddamn ass off and not taking "no" for an answer (not about the marriage part tho lmao). Do you ever want to have a family someday? With children? No. Who would you want to start this family with, or do you not yet know? I just want a pet family with Sara. What do you see yourself doing next year? Man, I don't have a clue... What do you see yourself doing in twenty years? I don't want to think of that. That's too far ahead. I'll be 43... I've gotta work on too many things now. Would you ever have an affair? I'm very curious as to who would actually answer "yes" to this. Would you ever have a one night stand? No. Lmaoooo actually this is sad as fuck, but I think I've said in a previous survey just knowing myself, if we were both single and clicked, I'd be doomed if it was Markiplier. My morals would sadly go out the window. If you had a month of nothing (no work, no obligations) what would you do? That's literally been the story of my life for years now, especially the past two. And it's torture. Would you ever choose a career or job where your life was at risk? No. Well, actually, I do want to do wildlife photography, and it can be pretty dangerous. Were you present at any major historical events (e.g. 9/11)? No. Do you have any famous relatives? No. Ancestors, yeah, but not close relatives. Are you a loyal member of any organizations? No. What type of criminal would you be? With how forgetful I am, I'm certain I'd be a very clumsy one that gets caught very quickly, lol. What are you listening to right now? "Voices" by Motionless In White. If you had to choose a stripper name, what would it be? Um idk. If your phone started ringing, who would you hope is calling? Someone for a job interview. Do you drink? Rarely and/or for some special occasions. Never enough to get drunk. Do you smoke? No. What is the first thing you notice in someone? I guess posture? How they carry themselves? Do you get attached easily? BOY! DO I!!!!!!!!!!! Do you like your eye color? I wish they were more blue. Would you go bungee jumping/sky diving if given the chance? Definitely not bungee jumping, I know how I react to that kind of up/down movement, and probably not skydiving, either. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? Both regularly since middle school. Are looks important in a relationship? Not very. What is your favorite thing to do? Binge a new song I fell in love with for like days lmao. What was the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? PhotoScape. It's easier to move watermarks for photos on there, and I was working on the ones I took a few days back. Do you like to gossip? No, I feel super guilty. What kind of computer do you have? An Acer. Do you know all the words to your national anthem? I think? Have you ever failed a grade? No. Have you ever made the opposite sex cry? Yes. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? Nah. Have you ever slapped someone in the face? No. Do you own a designer purse? Hell no. Waste of money for a goddamn purse that's just gonna get dirty and scratched. What’s the weirdest rumor you’ve ever heard about yourself? Jason and I magically had a baby over summer vacation when I was very obviously never pregnant. Do you say the "h" in the word “herb”? No, though I did for a super long time 'cuz I had no idea it was wrong. Do you speak any languages besides English? Not fluently. Can you run in high heels? I wouldn't really know, but boy do I doubt it. Do you have to take stairs or an elevator to get to your house? No. What do you usually order at Subway? Ummm I think white bread, ham, American cheese, bacon, jalapenos, banana peppers, and Chipotle sauce. I think that's it. Did an alarm wake you up this morning? No. How long is your mother’s hair? Past her shoulderblades, near the middle of her back. Is there any particular place you’d like to vacation to next? Surprisingly, I'd love to go somewhere tropical, like Hawaii or some shit like that. Somewhere with clear water and unique, beautiful wildlife and nature. What is your beer of choice, if any? Never tried beer, never want to. The smell is bad enough. That and I associate it with when Dad was an alcoholic. Did you share a bed with anyone last night? No. Well, other than with my cat. Do you know anyone who volunteers regularly? Yes. Have you ever ruined a nice pair of shoes, and how? Maybe, playing in puddles or biking through them and mud as a kid or something. Who were the last friends you went to hang out with? Sara. How many chairs are in the room you’re currently in? None. Have you texted a relative in the past week? Not besides immediate family. Are you doing anything important today? No. If I were to bring you any type of food right now, what would you pick? If I was actually hungry, I have been craving hotdogs on the grill like CRAZY lately. No clue why. When did you move into the house you’re currently living in? April-ish 2017. Do you ever sleep with the light on? No, I can't. Do you pray to Jesus? 20+ years of that did nothing. No. What was the last thing you ordered at Starbucks? N/A Do you have a bonfire pit in your yard? No. Would you consider being homeless if it meant you could travel the world? I don't know; there's lots of factors to consider. Would I be willing to leave my pets (but Teddy, probably; I'd want him with me) with my mom? Would I have something like a camper? Where am I getting this money to travel and provide for myself? Do you know your next-door neighbor? Mom knows one, but I personally don't. What’s something you have never done? Lots of things? As an example, uhhh... I've never done a cartwheel, despite childhood efforts? Name someone you know who is a true risk-taker, adventurer, and free spirit. Do you admire that person? Idk. Do you wish you were more of a free spirit? I think I already am, but it'd be cool to be more of one. Are you allergic to any medications? No. How do you feel when someone says something you’ve experienced doesn’t exist? Tell me depression isn't real, my PTSD isn't genuine, I can "get over" my anxiety if I want to hard enough, stuff like that, and I will not fucking associate with you. These are things that have massively affected my life; I dare someone to tell me these experiences aren't real issues. What worldview do you have? A realistic one, I think. I'm positive in some areas, negative in others. Hm... I'm probably more pessimistic about the world's future, though. Do you have friends who have different religious beliefs than you? Duh? If applicable, who was the first person you “came out” to? Sara. What’s one thing you’d like to do more? Travel. What was your style in high school? Some emo/metalhead hybrid that wished with all her heart to be capable of affording a goth wardrobe and bitch I still do. What’s one thing you are jealous that other people got to do but you didn’t? Have a healthy teenage experience. Have you ever taken birth control pills continuously? I have for years for my cycle. I had just about debilitating cramps and sometimes periods that lasted over a week. Who is your personality twin? Sara is probably the closest. What’s a common name that you hate? Edward, above all. Not a big fan of William, Robert, or Allen, either. Who do you wish you were best friends with? If you don't count my girlfriend as "best friend," maybeeee... Alon still? Or Baylee. I need to talk more to her, she's awesome. Do you own a camera tripod? Yes. Did you ever believe in mermaids? I don't believe so. …in fairies? I believed in the Tooth Fairy. …in Santa? Yes. Have you ever purchased alcohol? Yes. What is your newest hobby? Hm, I don't think I've found a new one for a long while... What gives your life meaning? I don't know. What motivates you to do what you do? The pursuit of happiness. What was the weather like the last time you went out? Too fucking hot. Do you go for walks often? No, though I really want to around a lake at a local, small park. Problems consist of no way to get there myself, it's WAY too fucking hot with my sweating issue, and my knees just wouldn't have it; I know I couldn't walk the full lap around it. Also expect some art installations around the path and probably the gazebo are PokeStops for Pokemon Go and really wish I could play it, so that's bait to do it lmao. What color shirt are you wearing? Pink. What is your favorite type of YouTube video to watch? It really depends on who I'm watching. Favorite on the face of the planet are Mark's ego projects, then my second fave are probably Shane's conspiracy videos, then I love let's plays. Do you need any new clothes right now? I seriously need more pants. And new bras. Do you collect anything? If so, what? Silent Hill merch and meerkat stuff. ^and if not, what would you like to collect? When I can buy shit myself, ya girl is gonna have way too much Markiplier merch. YouTuber stuff in general, actually. Too shy to ask for that kinda stuff now lol. Have you ever experienced a miracle? I don't think so. What was the last thing you ate? A burger. Do you ever eat food that’s intended for kids? ...? Like, baby food? No. Or maybe you mean shit like Lunchables? In cases like that, sometimes? What was the last stupid thing you did? Oh boy, who knows. Do you get embarrassed easily? You. Have. No. Idea. What are your top three names you like for a daughter? Alessandra, then uhhhh... I like Chloe and Adrian. Would you ever film a vlog of yourself giving birth? Hell no. I'd never wanna see it, I'd never want my hypothetical child to have to witness that, etc. Do you like getting caught in the rain? No. Wet clothes are no. Do you think your hair looks best straight, wavy, or curly? Straight, I guess? Though my hair does swoop to the right, so it's kinda a wave? What was the last craft project you completed? Oh, yeesh. I don't do crafts. The closest thing was I guess Sara's Valentine's Day gift for last year? Name 3 YouTubers you would like to meet in person: Markiplier is literally the only one that matters lmao and it's not "would like to meet in person," he will be forced to endure meeting me ok. Meeting Shane Dawson would be amazing, he's such a relatable sweetie, aaaaand #3 would probably be Rhett and/or Link, as similar to Mark, they deserve a tear-filled thanks as well as back-breaking hugs for seriously helping in keeping me alive through my suicidal year. I mean it when I say they genuinely helped me keep going. What color are your nails painted currently? They’re never painted. Do you use a pill box? No. List 3 people you know who were loving and then turned cold: Jason, Jason, and Jason. Have you ever felt threatened for your life? No. Which did you like better: high school or college? My college experience was horrid. High school had great memories, but of course negative ones, too. Which year of your life stands out to you as the most significant so far? 2017. …and why? It was my year of recovery from the breakup. What was the last store you shopped at? I went to Wal-Mart with Mom. I think that was the most recent, anyway. Do you have a favorite pharmacist? No. Do you have a favorite cashier at the grocery store? No. What’s something you discovered recently? I'm a Billie Eilish fan. What makes you more creative? Music. What’s the last magical thing you experienced? YO okay so when my brother and nephew were here, we went to the science museum and into a 360 VR-esque show about astronauts. I got SO nauseous and dizzy, but it was nevertheless extremely cool. What is the theme of your bedroom? It doesn't have a theme. Have you ever lived in a dorm? No. When was the last time you stepped outside of your comfort zone? Just tonight! I ordered at a drive-thru myself. Would you rather ride a camel or an elephant? An elephant! Do you want to lose weight? You have no fucking idea. Which insects scare you, if any? Lmao most. Especially rhinoceros beetles, big beetles in general honestly, cockroaches, earwigs, centipedes... like a lot okay. I like observing praying mantises, but I would probably have a fucking heart attack if one was on me. Do you think it’s silly to be afraid of a tiny insect? Well, yeah, though I get the likely survival reason, that being we know many are venomous, so we're naturally averse to them, especially if we don't recognize the type. Were you raised religious? Yes. Have you ever been abused? No, thankfully. Is there a coffee shop you like better than Starbucks? N/A If you could afford to get your hair professionally done, what would you get? Man, I have SO many color combination ideas. If I could get it done in the safest manageable way by a pro, I saw this look once with totally bleached/pure white hair that fades to blood-red tips, and BOY would I get that in a heartbeat. If you had a lot of money, do you think you would use it wisely? I hope so. I think so. The only thing I imagine myself being weak with are tattoos. Do you know any rich people who are very irresponsible? I don't think so... List five careers that you’d like to have: Meerkat biologist, paleontologist, artist, poet, something in wildlife conservation/protection. List five far-out things that you’d like to do before you die: Scuba-dive, I'd LIKE to ride a rollercoaster (far-out for me, trust me), but I know I never will, and uh... idk. Riding a motorcycle would be cool, but that's another thing I hiiighly doubt I'll do. What was your first imaginary friend’s name? I never had one. What was the name of the first pet that you loved? Chance, a cat my mom rescued. She was our very first family pet. She was absolutely incredible. Do you like to go barefoot? Unless I'm in a house, no. Do you like the same colors now that you did as a kid? Yeah. Do you have a YouTube channel? Yeah. Is there someone who stopped talking to you for no reason? Oh, who to begin with? Did you ever get called horrible names like whore, skank or bitch? "Bitch" more than once. Where did you sleep last night? My bed. Have you ever slow danced with anyone? With Jason, yeah. And I don't think so, but maybe Sara briefly? Have you ever cried in public? Yeah. What would you do if you were pregnant? I don't have a fucking clue. Do you like cuddling? With someone I love. Have you ever cried in school? Yes, but I think I kept it private. Who’s the last person to send you a message on Facebook? A woman whose wedding I'm shooting this Saturday. Have you ever witnessed someone else engaging in a sexual act? Just making out. Where did you get drunk last? N/A What’s your relationship with the last person you texted? She's my girlfriend. If someone went through your pictures, would they find a dirty one? No. How did you do on the last test you took? I haven't been in school for a long time. How come you’re not going out with the person you love? I am.

[scoobydoominuscoobydoo]

Part Four

“If you die, I’ll literally go out of my freaking mind.”

“Look, at the end of the day I’m able to handle our, like terrible, life-shortening lifestyle. But that was because no matter how many horrible ghouls got up close and personal and nearly caused me to exit my body in an ethereal form, it always ended and that was that.”

Everyone shifted uncomfortably in their seats as Fred sped down the empty highway.

Shaggy was leaning against the back door of the van, Daphne sitting right next to him. All of them were out of breath and Shag’s breathing seemed to hitch every few seconds, his hands were shaking hard. But he couldn’t get them to stop.

They had just been chased out of Fred’s house by a woman taller than Shaggy wearing what looked like a baby doll’s face.

She was recognized as Marilyn Andrews, an ex-special forces who had been terrorizing Coolsville for the past month or so. That it, until some meddling kids came along and did what they do best.

They thought it was gonna be like every other case, every loose end get’s tied up and the bad guy goes to jail for a long ass time.

Except this time that’s not what happened.

Instead Andrews escaped, and her first instinct was to go after the meddling kids that thought they could outsmart her. Just to ensure it would never happen.

 “Shaggy she’s ex-special forces, of course she can break out of prison. I-I guess we were just hoping she wouldn’t remember how.” Velma gently pet Scooby’s head that was resting on her lap.

Shag let out a tired laugh, “Or course we were. You guys know what your problem is? Like, you’re never willing to admit when maybe this is out of our hands. Maybe, just for once, we could let the damn police handle something!!” He lifted his hands up in frustration.

He knew that Velma and Fred would rather die than admit they were in over their heads.

It was possible they still had trouble trusting adults and that was why they never bothered to never get them involved.

Nobody responded.

Daph had gotten on her knees and turned around to look out the window, probably checking to see if they were being followed.

She let out a sigh of relief and pressed her forehead against the glass. 

Shaggy felt his heartbeat relax as he looked at her calmed face and her gentle eyes. For the moment everything was quiet, all of them just trying to grasp onto reality and keep their wits about them.

Velma continued to pet Scoob’s shaking head.

Fred gripped tightly onto the steering wheel.

Shaggy and Daphne stared into each other’s eyes trying to find an anchor to hold onto.

Eventually, the silence was ended by Fred handing Velma his phone and telling her to dial 911. Shaggy felt a rush of relief run over him and he finally felt his tense body relax.

Velma explained the situation as clearly as she could, she was having trouble forming full sentences.

“G-Got it, okay....um thank you officer.” 

She hung up and turned to Fred, “Uh- They tell us to head toward the high school a-and wait for them. I-In the van of course.”

Fred nodded and without signalling, he turned right toward their school.

As he turned he said, “Daphne, there’s a compartment right next to where we keep the spare tire. Open it and get what’s inside.” Daph nodded slowly and began to crawl over to where the tire was kept.

She wobbled around as the van sped up and slowed down.

Shaggy crawled over behind her and helped her lift up the door where the tire was. Instantly he spotted the compartment and motioned toward it. Daph followed his hand and nodded.

She leaned over his lap and opened the little door.

After opening it she froze for a few seconds, Shag placed a hand on her shoulder, “Daph, like you all good?”

“Jeepers.”

She uttered this just under her breath causing Shaggy’s hair on the back of his neck to stand up.

Jeepers was Daph’s filler word she used when she couldn’t think of anything better to say. Most of them had a filler word at this point, except Fred who never really needed to voice his feelings.

Velma turned around in her seat, “What was that? Freddie what did you hide?”

Fred’s face was grim and he stared straight ahead at the road, not replying. Shag was attempting to spot what had shocked Daph but to no avail. 

Eventually, Daphne removed her hand from the compartment, Shaggy and Velma’s eyes widened when they saw what she was carefully holding.

“Jinkies Fred.”

“Zoinks.”

They used their filler words at the same time, not really sure how they were supposed to react.

Velma turned around with her brows furrowed, “Fred just what the hell are you doing with a gun in the Mystery Machine?! Are you crazy?? If the police find out, who knows how much trouble we’ll be in!!”

Shaggy and Daphne flinched, Velma rarely raised her voice at Fred since they both never seemed to be disappointed in one another.

It was like watching Mom and Dad fight, not fun.

“Velma, we’re getting chased by a freakin ex-special forces that’s probably learned how to survive cyanide pill and escape Gulags, me getting arrested for unlawful possession is the least of our damn worries!!” Fred snapped back at her as he made a turn into the high school parking lot, sending Shaggy and Daphne crashing into the back doors.

Daph yelped as she dropped the gun, terrified it would go off.

“Freddie when were you gonna tell us-no-me about this unknown Plan B?!” There was hurt in her voice, Fred remained silent as he tried to find a parking spot that was relatively hidden.

Daphne leaned over and tried to grab the gun but was once again flying against the door, a loud thud echoed through the van.

Shaggy looked over to her and saw her bite her lip and run the back of her head.

He sighed, they had all lost their anchors and were drifting off, it was getting too hard to pull themselves together.

As Fred turned into a dark parking spot behind a tree the gun slid right in front of Shaggy, without a second thought he reached over and grabbed it. Guns were heavier than he thought, he rested it in his lap as he tried to even out his breathing again.

Now all they needed to do was not move, or breathe, or anything to draw attention themselves until the police came.

He could really see how much he was trembling as he held the gun, he felt a rubber band that was being pulled back so far that instead of snapping, it might just break.

Everyone was way too close to snapping at this point.

His hand felt like they were both cell phones set to vibrate and people wouldn’t stop calling them.

He saw two hands go over his own, he recognized the assortments of rings and the sparkly purple nail polish. The second her hands touched his a shiver went up his spine and his breathing hitched.

Her touch didn’t normally do that, usually it just calmed him.

The quiet was becoming too much to bear.

It was like when you play hide and seek and you have a hiding in plain sight spot, and the seeker is in the same room as you. 

You end up holding your breath and don’t even dare to move out of fear of being discovered, and then having to be It. This was like that, but a million times more terrifying and ended in them dying if the seeker found them.

Nobody in the van was moving or speaking, just sitting there and using up as little oxygen as they could.

Daph’s hands were still rested gently over Shags.

And he really hoped she didn’t move them. Getting chills from her hands was better than being too scared to look up from his lap.

You could hear everyone release a deep breath as Fred broke the silence, “Daphne,” Her grip of Shag’s hands tightened, “Since you’re the only one in this van with actual experience with firearms, you’re getting the gun.”

 Shaggy could hear her breathing pick up and felt a panic in her voice.

“Bu- Freddie those were just hunting rifles and shotguns, for killing pigeons!! Thi-This is a 9 mil, I-I’ve only fired one of these once!”

She was practically squeezing the life out of his hands at this point, but he couldn’t find the energy to stop her.

“Daph that’s one more than any of us, you’re the best shot here. Besides it’s only if Andrews beats the police here.” Shag’s blood ran cold at that statement, there was a chance the psycho would be able to find them and cut their intestines out and wear them a horrifying scarf of meddling kids.

Daph sighed, “But...Fre-”

She was cut off by the sound of a motorcycle engine roaring into the parking lot.

Her hands were quickly pulled away from him as she covered her mouth with her hands, closing her eyes tightly.

Shag ignored the cold feeling he got when her hands left his and placed the gun in front of her. He then got on his knees and turned around as quietly as he could, he then peeked out the window.

It only took a second to spot the huge woman sitting on the vehicle scanning the area.

Instantly he dropped down from the window and held his breath, “Like, that’s definitely not the police.” He whispered it so quietly that only Daph could have heard him, but she didn’t react.

He heard shuffling and peeked back to see that Fred, Velma and Scooby were all ducking down in the front seat so no one could see them through the windows.

He looked back down at the grey carpet, counting slowly in his head so as not to lose his shit at the last second.

For a while they just heard the engine softly humming on the other side of the parking lot.

The farther away she felt the more unbearable everything became.

Why wouldn’t she just leave??

Suddenly the engine roared and was heading distinctly in their direction.

Shaggy felt Daph’s hand reach out for his and he held onto it tightly. Both of their knuckles were white as mayonnaise on a BLT. Shag didn’t even know what was running through Fred and Velms’ heads. He had a good idea of Scoob’s mental state, right around the same as his. 

The engine’s purr was getting closer and closer as Shag’s grip on her hand got tighter and tighter.

He swore he could hear the motorcycle on the other side of the doors. 

He could practically see Andrews right in front of them.

But instead of the doors being ripped off their hinges and them all getting their tongues ripped out, the sound of the engine grew distant, heading off in the other direction.

He heard Daph’s breathing for the first time in the past two minutes.

He also felt a wash of relief go over his body.

But that all was reversed the second he heard the loud ringing of Fred’s cell phone from the front seat.

There was the sound of scrambling and the sound of the NCIS theme song was silenced.

That didn’t change anything though, it was way too late.

Shag peeked over and saw a tear running down Daph’s cheeks as the sound of the engine halted, Andrews had parked. There was the sound of footsteps toward the van, he saw Daphne’s hand reach for the gun out of the corner of his eye.

Before he had time to think, there was a loud *BANG* and a bullet whizzed through the side of the Mystery Machine.

Shaggy let out an ear piercing scream, and for once he wasn’t the only one.

Immediately, Fred, Velms and Scoob jumped over the front seat and into the back.

Shag could barely process what was happening as Velma shook Fred, begging for him to have a plan. Daphne leaned over and slapped her telling her to shut her damn mouth.

Shaggy grabbed onto her shoulder and pulled her back, the whole van felt like it was spinning. He then heard another *BANG* and pulled Daph down so they were both in the fetal position. Another bullet, this time through the driver’s side window.

Fred was trying to steady his breathing while everyone was either crying or on the verge of hyperventilating.

“Okay,” His voice was shaking, like a pillar about to break apart, “She’s gonna kill us if we stay here. W-We need to get into the school building.”

Shag took a second to clarify what he said, “Like no way man!! Are you out of you’re damn mind Fred?? There are a good 50 feet between the Mystery Machine and the front door. And in those 50 feet at a bullet hell being provided by a fucking psychopath lookin like Andre the Giant with a damn machine gun!!!”

Another *BANG* and they all ducked down again, she was getting closer.

Velma stepped in, “Shaggy it’s not 50 feet, it’s 43 feet and 15 inches.”

Shag stared at her with a look of disbelief on his face, “Right and that makes it so much better!! That brings out chances of survival up a whole 7.8%! Like, good for us!!” 

*BANG*

“Shaggy we will indeed die if we try to make a run for the front door. But if we drive up to the front door we’ll have a higher chance.” Shaggy gulped, he didn’t like the way any of that sounded.

He had completely zoned out while they went over their plan.

All he knew was they were splitting up (of fucking course they were) and that he was with Daph. Which didn’t make him any happier since he knew that if he was with Daphne he’d be more likely to do something stupid in an effort to protect her, even if she didn’t need it.

They waited until the next *BANG* and Velma made her move for the driver’s seat.

Ducking down, she turned the key in the ignition and the poor, scarred Mystery Machine awoke. Her next move was to put it in reverse straight toward the front steps of the school.

She put her foot on the gas and floored it.

Sending the rest of the gang forward crashing into the front seat.

There was a wave of *BANGS* but luckily all of them were near misses.

“HERE WE GO!!” Velma yelled and the gang braced themselves for impact with the front steps.

The collision shook the whole van and knocked the wind out of Shaggy, his chest feeling tight. But he didn’t have time to think about that because Velms had already put it in park and they were all crawling over to the back door.

Daphne pushed both of the doors open, the gun still in her right hand.

All of them quickly jumped out of the back and began to make a run for it. 

Except Daphne, who had stopped and was staring at Andrews who was making her way toward the school. Shaggy groaned and rolled his eye as he ran back over to her and grabbed her free hand.

He then began to drag her into the school where they made a left toward the Chem lab where Scoob was supposed to be hiding.

“I swear Daph you make every horror movie mistake in the book. Like you didn’t get the nickname Danger Prone Daphne by making smart decisions.”

Daph only responded by tightening her grip on his hand.

When they made it to the Chem lab Shaggy could hear someone kick the front doors open and head in the direction where Fred and Velma went. Daphne prayed that Fred wouldn’t get hurt and that Velma could handle herself.

Shaggy let out a loud sigh of relief and slid down the wall he was leaning against.

He looked around the room and spotted Scooby hiding under one of the desks in the corner, Daphne’s desk to be exact.

Maybe Daph’s scent calmed him down.

He then realized he hadn’t let go of her hand yet. Looking up at her, he saw that she was staring down at the gun in her hand, a troubled look on her face.

“Daph, like I-I uh.....I doubt you’ll need to use it. Before you know it the police will be here they’ll slap some cuffs on good ol’ Andrews the Giant. And then we can go out to the nearest all you can eat buffet and prove how false their advertising is.” She sent him a grateful smile but the doubt was written in her eyes.

They had rested there for maybe 8 minutes, aside from the occasional door slamming things were pretty quiet.

Daphne still hadn’t let go of Shaggy’s hand, but he wasn’t really letting go either.

Shaggy was getting ready to walk over to the window and see if there was any sign of the damn police, wherever the hell they were they need to get in gear and save their lives already.

But he was cut short by one of those dreaded *BANGS!*

Both of them jumped and Scoob whimpered.

After a second Daph said in a voice laced with terror, “Tha-That came from Fred and Velma’s direction!”

“Daph wai-”

Daphne had already opened the door and was making her way toward the gunshot.

“Damn horror movie mistakes.” Shaggy muttered under his breath as he stood up, breathing heavily he stared out the doorway.

He turned back to Scooby who shook his head, his choice had already been made. Shaggy let out a long, shaky sigh and gulped, this could be listed as one of those stupid things he would do to protect Daphne even though she didn’t need it.

As he turned out of the door he spotted Daph a few feet ahead of him, trying to find where the *BANG* came from.

He began to follow her cautiously, being wary of all the places a 10 foot tall monster could pop out and turn his kneecaps into belt buckles. He was brought to attention by the sound of Daphne cocking the gun.

“Zoinks.” He whispered, this was for real.

They made their way down the hallway slowly, both a several feet apart from each other.

Shaggy felt his soul jump out of his body for a second at the sound of a deafening scream echoing through the whole school. Velma’s scream.

That prompted Daph to break into a sprint towards the central courtyard.

Shag groaned as he jogged after her but grew nervous when he lost sight of her around the corner.

He then turned on his super speed when he heard a different *BANG* to the *BANG* he was used to.

As he reached the courtyard he froze for a second, drinking in the whole scene.

Velma’s turtleneck was covered in what he hated to assume was blood. Tears were streaming down her cheeks but her face seemed to lack any sort of emotion or understanding of what was before her. Fred was on his knees next her, all the color had been drained from his face and he looked ready to throw up.

Daphne was only a couple feet in front of him, her back was to so he wasn’t sure what her state was. 

All he could see was her shoulders rise and fall with her breathing.

Lying in the middle of the courtyard, with an AK still in her hand, a bullet hole through the side of her head, was Marilyn Andrews.

Her eyes were still open and angry, the hunger to kill them still fresh in her lifeless face.

Shaggy’s heartbeat had spiked and his breathing picked up.

It had just clicked.

Daphne had shot Andrews in the head to save Velma.

Daphne had killed Andrews.

Daphne, who saw the good in all people and preached that life was a sacred thing.

He felt like his legs were about to give out, “Daphne?”

She gasped and turned around, he saw that her face was drenched in tears. Her eyes were trembling and filled with so many different emotions he couldn’t comprehend. A stark contrast to Fred and Velma’s eyes that seemed glazed over and blank.

She dropped the gun and, without saying a word, wrapped her arms around his neck.

He heard her break into sobs as she nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck. 

This only made his wanna cry with her, but instead he wrapped his arms around her and began to stroke her hair. Just letting her cry.

The jingle of Scooby’s collar could be heard back in the school, making it’s way closer to them.

And like the ringing sound of a cruel joke, police sirens quickly filled the parking lot.

[shadowphoenixrider]

Fe is a cute ass game that I really really like, that does quite a good job of telling a story/teaching you game mechanics with as few words as possible, though you can get lost and turned around quite easy (if you can, play it with a controller; it’s a lot easier than keyboard and mouse).

Also you get to have a Shadow of the Colossus moment climbing a great big leviathan beast, which is utterly amazing and slightly nerve-wracking since the platforming can be slightly finicky. It’s also very pretty.

Would recommend, though alas it’s an ‘EA Original’ game, so you have to get it through Origin. EA appears to have left the indie studio Zoink alone to do its own thing, however, so that’s pretty good.