#Yuri and the Ten Months | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

authorhjk1 · 3 months ago

Note

Idk if you saw but Yuri of SNSD posted a bikini pic, hoping we can get a sunbae series out of that or just a quickie one shot? She’s driving me nuts lol.

Shore leave

(Kwon Yuri X Julie X Belle X Natty X Haneul X Male Reader)

"Captain!"

You tear your eyes off the controls and turn around. Your XO is standing behind you.

"We've just reported back that our mission was a success. We will enter Honolulu Harbor within twenty minutes."

"Prepare to surface the boat."

"Aye, captain."

Jackson turns to his left.

"Chief of the Watch, blow main ballast tanks!"

The chief of Watch replies.

"Blow main ballast tanks, aye. Blowing main ballast tanks."

You start to walk towards the captain's cabin to finish your report. There is no need for you to be standing around the control room. The thirty man crew can do this while asleep.

"All ahead one-third, surface!"

"Raising the planes!"

"Clear the baffles!"

Opening the door, you look back into the control room. Jackson is standing at its center, overlooking everyone's actions.

"Periscope raised."

The man behind him, Miller, is making sure that it's free to surface.

"Surface is clear!"

You step inside and close the door behind you.

"Surface! Surface! Surface!"

Jackson's command is the last you hear as your submarine is about to see daylight once more.

Stepping foot on land feels odd after forty days underwater. You try to walk as normal as possible, while your crew follows you off the boat. A group of soldiers walk in your direction.

"Captain."

The man salutes you and you do the same.

"Major."

He extends his hand for you to shake.

"Happy birthday, old man."

"Thank you."

You laugh, happy to see him again for the first time in years.

"You and your crew deserve some rest while you're here."

He hands you a couple black cards, which look like key cards to hotel rooms.

"You should stay at a fancier place than the barracks. Order from the lieutenant colonel."

"I appreciate it. Please give him my thanks."

"I will. Now get out of here."

The two of you pat each other's shoulder, before you keep walking.

"Skipper."

You acknowledge lieutenant Kang's presence. The young man is barely 22 years old, but his career has been impressive so far. The worst thing about him? He found out that you used to listen to kpop.

"Have you talked to the major yet, sir?"

"I did."

The two of you walk in silence, while the crew walks after you, until Kang can't hold it in anymore.

"Did he give me permission to-"

"He did. But you have to behave yourself, lieutenant. No drinking, no fights, or any other way to get yourself into trouble."

You know that he has a short temper. But you trust him not abuse your trust.

"Everyone is on leave. And you're allowed to go to their concert."

"Thank you, sir."

You sigh as you reach the car that the major has left for you. Most of your men will head to the barracks. You, Jackson and Miller all got a room at a hotel, being the highest ranking officers on board. And you're letting the young lieutenant tag along.

After checking in, you decided to head to the hotel's pool. Being trapped in a steel cage several miles underwater with thirty men can get on your nerves. And since it's your birthday, you're more than happy to relax and clean your body. Although the number one reason to why you're not in your room, taking a well deserved nap, are the women. You don't remember the last time you talked with a woman for over ten minutes within almost a year. Living in your barracks, training younger soldiers and going on missions that take more than a month, don't leave you with a lot of free time. And the last months had been stressful and draining.

You realize that there aren't many empty deck chairs left as you make your way through the rather crowded area around the pool.

"Skipper!"

You turn your head to see Jackson, who is already sitting on one of the chairs. Miller is sitting to his left, while one on the right still seems to be empty. Skipper is usually not the term captains are addressed with, and some would tell them to shut the hell up, but you're easygoing. At least on land, when you're not on a mission. As long as your men know that you're in charge, you don't really care what they call you.

"Well, you guys came out here really quick."

"Forty days. I need some sun, sir."

You smirk at Miller's complaint, before getting comfortable on the empty chair.

"Do you know how long we have, until we get going again?"

You shake your head at Jackson's question.

"I don't. But I know what our next mission is about."

The two men don't ask for more information, knowing full well that you're not gonna tell them in a public area like this one.

"Let's hope we can relax a little longer than last time."

"Agreed."

You close your eyes, while you listen to the two men chatting.

"I like it here. The weather is nice."

"Just the weather?"

When you open your eyes again, you realize that you've fallen asleep. Quickly looking to your left, you don't see Miller or Jackson.

"Bastards."

You mumble, knowing what they're up to. The three of you have been become good friends over the years. It would surprise you, if they weren't out and about right now, looking for a bar to take you to later today.

"Excuse me?"

You turn to your right, only now realizing that someone is sitting there.

Her face is hidden by her bucket hat and her sunglasses. But it's not her face you're focused on right now anyway. Your eyes quickly scan her barely clothed body. Her white bikini matches the bucket hat. Even without seeing her face, you can tell how beautiful she is.

"I apologize. I wasn't talking to you. I just realized that my friends ran off without me."

"Those are some great friends you have."

"Well, I can't blame them. I already overheard them talking about a party this morning."

"Oh a party? What's to celebrate?"

"It's my birthday today."

"Congratulations. I hope you have a great year."

"Thank you. It would already improve my year quite a lot, if I knew your name."

You see her chuckle at your attempt to flirt with her. She hesitates for a moment, before she answers.

"Yuri. Kwon Yuri."

"Nice to meet you."

You reach out your hand and she shakes it as you tell her your name.

Hers does sounds familiar, but you can't really tell.

"Are you here on vacation as well?"

You shake your head at her question.

"Not exactly. Me and my crew are just having a shore leave, while we wait for our next mission."

"Oh, you're in the military?"

"I am. Navy."

"Oh, that's so cool. Do you work on one of those big ships that are lying in the harbor nearby? I walked past them yesterday."

"No, I'm the captain of a submarine. We only got here a couple hours ago."

"Submarine? You don't hear that everyday."

You try to steer the conversation in another direction. There isn't much to talk about when it comes to your job anyways. At least not something you're allowed to talk about.

"So you're here on vacation?"

You haven't had the pleasure of sleeping with a woman for way too long. And you have to admit it's getting harder to restrain yourself. If your lucky and Yuri is down for something more than just talking...

"I am. I've been working a lot recently and thought I would take a break, now that my project is done."

"Your project?"

"I'm an actress."

"I'm actually not surprised to hear that. It would be a shame if someone beautiful like you didn't show her face on TV."

You bite your lip, knowing that you're going a little fast here. But if this the opportunity you were hoping for, you're definitely going to take it.

"Thank you. Although I like to think that I got this far because of my skills. Not because I'm pretty."

You nod in understanding.

"That's true. Have I seen you in anything? Or have you just started acting?"

"I've been doing this for a while, but I doubt you've seen me before."

"Okay, then. What genre do you usually do? Action? Romance?"

"I played a love interest of the male lead for my last project."

"Damn. Now I'm jealous of the guy who played him."

Yuri laughs, covering her mouth with her hand.

"You can't keep complementing me like this."

"Why not? I haven't seen a woman in over a month. I have to get everything out of my system at some point."

"Well, there are a lot of beautiful women here. I think you're being a little unjust by only giving me your attention."

Her smile tells you that she doesn't really mind at all. You make a point of looking around the area and the pool.

"Nope. I think I'm talking with the most beautiful woman here, right now."

"You can't stop, can you?"

Her amused smile makes you smile too.

"Like I said, I need someone to let this all out on."

You didn't expect Yuri to slightly bite her lip at your words. And then you realize that one could take your words in a different way.

"You really seem to be in need of some.... release."

You clear your throat.

"But you can keep going of course."

Yuri takes off her sunglasses and now smiles at you with her eyes as well. You already knew she was beautiful, but this is on another level. At the same time, you do feel like you've seen her before. Maybe in a movie?

"It's not like I don't like it..."

"I need more."

Yuri gives you a happy and proud smile, before you capture her lips once more. You pin her against your hotel room's door. The two of you engage in another kiss. It's filled with passion and lust. You've been waiting for this for months. You don't know the last time Yuri got off. But judging from how hard she is kissing you back, you guess that it has been a while for her too. Or she's just turned on as hell.

Your hands leave her waist and start to explore her exposed skin. Yuri yanks off her bucket hat and throws it behind you. Her hair is a little more messy now as her own hands roam your body. While one of yours trails along the strings of her bikini towards the knots on her back, one of hers uses a finger and slowly travels down your spine, giving you goosebumps. Your second hand is lazily drawing circles on her flat midriff before it playfully tugs at the strings right beneath her chest. Her other hand mirrors your circles, but on your chest. You can feel her paying extra attention to your large tattoo, which she looked at earlier a little too long.

While you keep your lips locked with hers, you start to slowly undo Yuri's knots on her back. She draws along the lines of your tattoo. A big anchor. An equally sized dragon is winding itself around it.

Once you are finished with the first knot, you feel Yuri's breath shake a little as you both give each other a second to breathe. But soon, you're back at it again. Her hand, previously on your back, is now on your hip as she plays with the waistband of your trunks. Another knot follows the first.

You are getting bolder, now that she allowed you to undo her bikini. You let your hands travel along her waist and up to her chest. Yuri breaks the kiss as she feels your hands over her top. You give her tits a squeeze, making Yuri let out a moan. She has a smile on her face again, her arms now loosely placed on your shoulders. Her head slowly rolls back as you keep kneading her soft mounds.

"Your hands feel great. I love it."

Yuri now lets her own travel down your figure, until they're reach your trunks once more. You reach behind her and finally undo her top, before slowly taking it off her. Taking in the sight of her tits, you stay in place for a moment. But then you feel Yuri undo the tie on the front of your boxers agonizingly slow. You finally look into her eyes. She stares back at you as her fingers do their work.

Once she is done, you feel her thumbs glide between your skin and the waistband. Slowly she pulls them down. Around halfway past your hips, your trunks fall to the floor on their own. Yuri has a satisfied smile on her face as she looks down on you.

After you'd taken off her bottoms too, there wasn't much time or need for foreplay. You led Yuri to your bed, where you lied down and had her lie on top of you. Now you're enjoying yourself, tasting her delicious pussy, while you feel her soft lips glide up and down on your shaft. The position enables you to freely do with her lower half what you want to. You knead her full cheeks and pull them apart occasionally, while you let your tongue glide along her labia, before sucking on her clit. Yuri's moans are almost silenced by your dick in her mouth, which sends shivers up your spine. You feel her hands on your thighs and as she picks up the pace, it almost seems like she is fucking her face onto your cock. Just the thought of that makes you put in even more effort.

Soon, they both of you have made a mess of each other. You can't help but groan into her pussy, whenever Yuri takes you as deep as she can. And Yuri moans and sometimes let's her fingernails glide over your thighs, whenever you let your tongue flick against her clit.

When you both feel the increasing need to finally be as intimate as possible, Yuri momentarily gets off you, before turning around. Her face gets closer to yours once more as she sinks herself down on you. Her soft mounds press against your chest, you feel her nipples rub against your skin. But that's not the best part. The best part is the way Yuri's tight snatch slowly takes you inside. It leaves you breathing a little faster, her wet lips wrapping themselves around your shaft as tight as possible. A satisfied smile lingers on Yuri's lips as she leans down to kiss yours. She is now lying flat on top of you. Her hands are playing with your hair, while yours rest on her lower back, occasionally darting out to give one of her cheeks a playful squeeze.

The two of you take it slow, enjoying each other's warmth and closeness. You were afraid you wouldn't last long at first, but the slow love making enables you to go longer than you expected. Yuri barely moves on top of you, slightly circling her hips, making your cock move inside of her. The two of you share one kiss after another. Her fingers comb through your hair. And she gives it a slight tug, whenever you hit the right spot inside of her. Yuri's breasts are pressed against your chest, her nipples rubbing against your skin.

Having your hands on her cheeks, you carefully start to move her back and forth. It brings more motion into the two of you. Yuri's lips find yours once more, while she lets out a moan, feeling her pussy glide along your cock. The more you make her move, the better it feels for the both of you. Your fingers begin to dig into her flesh and Yuri leaves a bite on your skin here and there. Looking up at her, you see her eyes are only half open, her eyelids heavy with pleasure.

"Oh my god."

Yuri lets out a loud sigh into your neck. It's the first time she spoke, since she took you inside. You feel her moving on her own now, so you let your hands travel along her back. Her hair is covering the both of you right now, serving as a makeshift curtain as it blocks out the sunlight.

Closing your eyes, you just enjoy the moment. How Yuri moves herself along your body on top of you. How her pussy glides along your shaft, her wet walls squeezing every inch. How her nipples move over your skin. How her moans reach your ear, whenever she doesn't lock her lips with yours.

"Yuri..."

You took too long. Focusing on the moment, feeling this gorgeous woman on top of you. You realize there is no turning back, the moment you open your eyes. Yuri bites her lower lip, looking down on you. She nods, giving you permission to finish what the two of you started.

You quickly reach down her back, your arms wrapping around her lower back, right above her ass. Instinctively, you let your legs slip out from underneath her and raise them, burying your heels into the mattress.

"Oh wow."

Yuri lets out a gasp. To her it feels like you just gained another inch. You start to fuck her now. A little faster than she moved before. Her arms now lying next to your shoulders, supporting her weight as she pushes her upper body higher. You can't stop yourself. Taking in the sight of her beautiful tits right in front of you, you fuck Yuri harder. She can't help but smile down on you, flattered by the way you seem to love every single part of her body.

"Yuri..."

You sigh her name once more. Yuri let's out a moan herself a moment later. She feels your cock twitching inside of her. You raise your hips a little higher, which makes you lift hers too. More and more of your cum invades Yuri's tight cavern, making her head sink onto yours once more.

The two of you stay in place, even after both of you have calmed down. Yuri is still lying on top of you. She has moved a little further down though to be able to comfortably place her head on your chest. Her toned midriff is pressed against your cock. You feel her fingers trace over your tattoo once more.

"You know...."

Yuri starts to talk after a while.

"My room is two floors higher. 5003. Just in case you..."

You crack a smile, your hand slowly stroking her hair.

"I will keep that in mind."

"Are you telling me that everyone is coming?"

You sigh, already knowing that this night will not end well. You expected the three guys to throw you a low profile party at a bar. Just the four of you.

"Yes, everyone. Plus, everyone else who is at the barracks and gets to go out tonight."

"Oh that's just great. How many men is that?"

Miller shrugs his shoulders.

"Fifty?"

You give him a disapproving glare. Now you wish you'd have stayed longer in bed with Yuri.

"Oh come on. They all love you. You know you have a reputation, right? No failed mission? Highest success rate?"

"So?"

Miller leads you down a long street which is taking you further to the beach.

"That doesn't mean I have to like that you invited fifty people."

"Relax, skipper."

He gives you a pat on the shoulder as you two reach the bar the three of them found earlier today. Looking to your right, you see the sunset. The sea is coloured in a beautiful orange. You'd have loved to take a moment and take in the view. You haven't seen a sunset in over a month. But Miller destroys your plan by opening the door. Music and shouts invade your ears. You walk inside, followed by Jackson, Miller and Kang. Most of the tables, around 10, are filled by men in uniforms, while two are occupied by other guests. One group looks like tourists, while the other makes you look at four gorgeous faces. Even after you were able to have sex with Yuri, you can't help but glance at the four girls a second longer. They all look significantly younger than you, with the girl on the far right looking like she just got fresh out of high school.

"Captain!"

One of the men spotted you and is now standing up. The laughter and chatter dies down. The other soldiers follow his example. You wait until everyone is standing. You hear Miller's voice behind you.

"Told you. Reputation."

You sigh as you look around. It seems like some of the men already had a couple of drinks.

"At ease."

As everyone sits back down, you notice how the group of tourists and the four girls all look very surprised by what's going on.

Suddenly, you hear Jackson groan in annoyance and you quickly realize why. There aren't any empty seats. Or rather, the only empty seats left are the ones at the table of the four girls. You see Miller stepping towards the nearest table, probably to get you a place to sit, but you grab his shoulder.

"It's fine. I was hoping for a relaxed night anyway."

The four of you walk through the bar and past some of the tables. Some of the men greet you individually, raising their glasses, or congratulating you.

"Hi. Are these empty, or are you waiting for someone?"

"No, they're empty. Please."

One of the girls spoke and is now gesturing towards the empty seats. You walk around the table and sit against the wall, next to the girl who looks the youngest. Jackson joins you on the bench, while the other two sit opposite from you.

You take one more look around the table. You can tell the girls are a little shy to restart their conversation now. The girl next to the youngest tugs her short black hair behind her ear, before taking a sip of her drink.

The girl across from her is the one who invited the four of you to sit down. You can't help but stare at her lips for a moment as she finally says something to the girl next to her. You can't understand it, but it sounds like Korean.

The girl she is speaking to is sitting next to Miller. She looks cute. Not as cute as the girl next you, but still kinda adorable. She seems to answer the other girl, before she takes out her phone.

When the waitress reaches your table, the four of you order. The girls seem to have picked up their conversation. At one point it looks like the girl next to you asked a question. A question none of them seems to have the answer too. You're surprised when Kang suddenly says something in Korean. You've noticed that he has been unusually quiet this entire time. You can't blame him. The four girls are stunning. But somehow it seems like something else has held him back so far.

The girls are surprised by Kangs answer. They probably didn't expect him to understand them.

Haneul's cheeks burn red with embarrassment. Why is he only saying now that he knows Korean? Her worried face glances at the man next to her. The man who seems to be in charge. She didn't expect anyone to understand her, apart from her members, when she admitted she found him hot, barely four minutes ago.

She was already afraid that he had caught her glancing at him from time to time. But now, she has to worry that his friend will tell him what she said. Haneul bows her head and thanks the man who spoke Korean, hoping he won't say anything. The other girls already teased her enough about her confession.

When the waitress comes back and placed the drinks in front of the soldiers, Haneul can feel how the man next to her relaxes further. He spreads his legs wider to get more comfortable. Now hers touch his. She can't help but bit her lip at the seemingly innocent connection. She isn't as bold as Julie or Natty, who would've placed their hands on his thigh and flirted with him. She hates herself for that. Haneul knows she needs to at least practice. Talking to her fans is easy. So why can't she do that with strangers as well?

"I'm surprised you know Korean."

Haneul looks up at Julie's words, which were directed at the man who answered her question.

"My parents are Korean. It's like my first language."

"Ah, that's cool."

"I have to admit, I'm a fan of you, girls. I'm going to the concert tomorrow."

"Oh, that's amazing."

Natty seems genuinely happy. While the three girls deepen the conversation with their fan, Haneul glances at the man next to her once more.

"Oh, fuck!"

Her inner self screams when he suddenly locks eyes with her. Haneul doesn't know if she should look away or not. But he smiles at her. And turns a little towards her.

"What's your name?"

"I'm Haneul."

Haneul gives you one of the cutest smiles you've ever seen. And the words slip out of your mouth, before you can think about them.

"You have a beautiful smile."

As the night deepens, you step outside, feeling the cold night air on your face. Haneul is walking out behind you. After her come Jackson, Miller and Kang and the other girls. It was one of them, Julie if you remember correctly, who suggested all of you should go for a walk on the beach.

You got to know all four girls quite well, who seem to be in a kpop group called kiss of life. They are all charming and beautiful, but it seems like you and Haneul have hit it off very well.

The two of you continue to talk as you walk past the palm trees and finally reach the sand.

"This is so beautiful."

Haneul can't fight the urge to take a couple of pictures of the star glazed night sky.

"It is."

You look at her and Haneul seems to catch on as she lowers her phone and turns to you. Her shy smile makes you chuckle, before you focus back on the stars.

"Haneul... Your name means sky, right?"

She looks at you in surprise.

"You speak Korean?"

"A little."

"Oh, you should've told me earlier."

You see her biting her lip and her cheeks slightly becoming darker. Is she embarrassed about something?

You hear laughter behind you. The two of you turn around. You roll your eyes as you watch Miller kissing one of the girls.

Haneul lets out a gasp as she sees Julie and one of the soldiers exchange a kiss. His hands are on her waist and Julie's are on his shoulders. Haneul is embarrassed, but at the same time, she is glancing at you, wondering how it would feel like to kiss you. Then she sees Natty and your other friend laugh together, arms locked. She watches how he slowly leans down, capturing the Thai girl's lips with his own.

You can tell Haneul has gotten more nervous over the last ten seconds.

"We don't need to do what they're doing, if it makes you uncomfortable."

"Huh?"

Haneul turns to you, her eyes wide open. You hesitate, but it seems like she does want you to kiss her. You place a hand on her shoulder and eventually lower it a little. Further and further, until you reach her small waist. Haneul's eyes are glued to yours the whole time. But you catch them darting down to your lips from time to time.

Once your hand is on her waist, you pull her closer. You press her body against your own and you can feel her perky tits rub against your body, right underneath your chest. Leaning down, you see Haneul closing her eyes.

She seems so different from Yuri. Maybe it's her age or inexperience. But it doesn't make her any less attractive.

Your lips meet and you have to admit that Haneul's lips feel softer than you thought they would. You let your hand slowly wander over her back as you deepen the kiss. Haneul melts into you, her own hands pulling slightly at your shirt.

"Look at those two lovebirds."

Your kiss is interrupted by Julie's cheeky remark. You realize that you and Haneul have been standing like this more than a couple of seconds. For you, it felt like a short moment. But the other six are all looking at you.

"We are waiting for your answer, skipper."

"For what?"

You seem to have missed the question. A proud but shy smile appears on Haneul's face.

"Are you okay with all of us heading to the nearest hotel?"

You wonder why they're asking. They could just take off. It's not like they're on duty or something. But then you catch how Natty is casually leaning against Jackson, while her hand seems to be placed on Miller's back. While Kang, despite having his hands on Belle's waist, seems to exchange a knowing smile with Julie.

Their plan quickly dawns on you and you look down at Haneul. By now, you're pretty sure that Haneul wouldn't oppose to a night together. But, even if you have to share, the idea of being able to be with all four of them almost makes your head spin.

"What do you say?"

Despite the darkness, Haneul's cheek are laced with a darker red than ever before.

"I-I wouldn't mind."

The way to the hotel room was uneventful. You could tell Haneul was still nervous, but you managed to calm her down by taking her hand in yours while you walked. The receptionist raised an eyebrow when you told her all eight of you would share a room for the night. But she didn't say anything and just gave you the key card to a slightly bigger room.

Now you sit on the edge of the bed, looking down on Haneul. She is fumbling around with your belt. Miller is sitting on your left with Julie kneeling in front of him. The other four are on the other side of the bed behind you.

You can't help but watch as Julie opens her mouth and takes Miller's cock into her mouth. She is definitely more experienced than Haneul, who only got your pants off now. You catch her hesitating, but a moment later, she pulls your boxers down as well. Her wide open eyes are focused on your cock. She slowly opens her mouth as well. Reaching out, you take her cheek in your hand, encouraging her. Haneul's eyes smile up at you as her pretty lips close around your tip.

Your head rolls back as you feel her tongue moving around. You're so glad you and Yuri had fun earlier today. Otherwise, Haneul's cute face would've made you cum right there.

She lets her tongue dance around for a moment, before pressing it underneath your cock. You feel her taking more of you inside her mouth. On instinct, your hand moves up to the top of her head. You can't help but stroke her hair as Haneul does her best to pleasure you.

"Good girl."

You groan, when you feel her sucking on your cock properly. You expected her to have no experience at all. But it seems like Haneul does know just enough.

You glance to your left once more as you hear someone choking. Julie has placed her hands flat on Miller's thighs and is almost face fucking herself onto his cock.

Haneul can feel that you got harder by looking at those two. She takes a deep breath and then lets her lips glide further down your shaft. The younger girl can't compete with Julie, but you're more than happy with what she is doing. You reach behind her to hold her hair back, focusing only on Haneul.

"You're doing great."

You can't help but praise her. She looks so cute, while she sucks you off.

Haneul places her hands on your thighs as well and looks up at you. Almost as if she's asking for permission. You nod, curious to see what she's going to do.

"Damn."

You groan when you feel her throat tighten around you as she pushes her head down further. She quickly begins to cough and choke. Haneul's spit starts to leave her mouth. It gets all over your cock, your lap, her shirt and her thighs. But she tries to keep going, bobbing her head up and down.

"Don't close your mouth, open it wide."

You almost jump when you hear Julie's voice right next to you. She is kneeling next to Haneul, her arm stretched out as she keeps jerking off Miller's wet cock.

Haneul retreats, letting your own cock fall out of her mouth.

"Relax your throat when you first take all of it. It makes it easier."

Haneul listens closely to Julie's words.

"Like this."

Your hands dig into the sheets as Julie suddenly decides to deepthroat you. You can feel how she is forcing her jaw open wide enough to take all of you inside. Haneul watches in awe as the other girl bobs her head up and down. Julie doesn't even choke this time, her throat relaxed enough to take it all.

You notice how she still doesn't stop stroking Miller's cock. From behind you, you hear Jackson groan something.

You have to distract yourself like this, not wanting to cum early. Julie is doing an amazing job and now backs away to give Haneul another chance.

The younger girl tries to imitate Julie and takes most of your cock inside her mouth at once. You feel how she is able to take more now, her throat almost greedily sucking on your cock.

"That's it."

Julie smiles at her, before letting go of Miller's cock. She spits into her hand and wraps it around his length once more, making sure her saliva is all over shaft.

Haneul has now lifted her once more, letting her lips glide along your length.

"You're doing great."

Julie pats the back of Haneul's head. When she looks up at you, the older girl gives you a seductive wink. Before you can react, Julie pushes Haneul's head down, deep into your lap.

"Take it all, baby."

Her voice is still sweet and carrying, but her hand on Haneul's back makes the younger girl choke and gag.

And then, Julie uses Haneul's mouth to jerk you off. She lifts her head up and down, making her lips glide along your cock.

You barely notice that Miller is now standing next to Julie. She's sucking him off once more, but making sure she is fucking Haneul's face onto your cock at a steady pace.

You feel bad for Haneul. But at the same time, you can barely hold it together. Her tight throat just feels so damn amazing. The way her whole mouth almost takes in all your cock. The way her saliva gets everywhere. The way she gags whenever your tip hits the back of her throat.

You sigh in relief when Julie lets go off Haneul's head and focuses back on Miller. Haneul takes you in deep a couple of times more, before she finally backs away. Her big eyes and the strings of her saliva connecting her lips with your cock make her look so cute but sexy at the same time.

You reach out and wipe the spit off her lips. To your surprise, Haneul sucks on your thumb in return.

"Get on the bed."

You guide her to her feet and make her lie on her back. She watches you as you now undo her shorts. Glancing behind her, you can see how Natty is giving Jackson a titjob, while Belle is giving Kang head too.

But you focus back on Haneul as you pull her pants off of her.

You push the small piece of fabric that is covering her pussy to the side, exposing her snatch.

Haneul gasps when she feels your lips touch her thighs. She expected you to head straight for her core, but you tease first. It only takes you a couple of kisses, before her eyes silently beg for you to pay attention to her pussy.

You take both her thighs in your hands, spreading them apart so you have enough room. You kiss her right next to her lower lips, making her sigh in frustration. When you finally do let your tongue glide along her lips, Haneul's head rolls back. Her eyes close and her hands grab the sheets as you begin to eat her out.

The young girl's moans echo through the room. She occasionally lets out a small squeal or sigh whenever you suck on her clit. By now, one hand has moved to your head as she is slightly pulling at your hair, trying to get your tongue deeper inside of her. The other covers her mouth as Haneul tries to reduce the volume of her moans. She doesn't want to be the loudest in the room. Embarrassment is still colouring her cheeks.

But she doesn't have to worry much, when she hears Julie moaning shamelessly next to her. Miller is lying next to Haneul on his back, while Julie is riding his face. The older girl throws her head back and grinds against him, while his hands hold her waist.

Haneul almost jumps when Natty's face suddenly appears above her head. Jackson made her get on all fours on the bed and is now eating her out from behind. Natty basically moans into Haneul's face. The younger girl can't help herself. The Thai girl just looks so amazingly hot like that. She reaches upward with her free hand. Natty gladly follows Haneul's guidance and lowers her head. The two girls share one deep kiss after another.

As they both loose themselves in the sea of pleasure, Natty's limps grow weak. She gets lower and lower as they break their kiss. Finally, Natty is almost lying on top of Haneul. The younger girl's face meets Jackson's. She hesitates, but eventually she captures his lips with her own. She can taste Natty's juices.

You do the same with the Thai girl. You share a deep kiss with her, while she slowly inserts a finger into Haneul's pussy. The younger girl moans louder now, but you pull away and stand up. Natty follows your movements and invitingly opens her mouth. You push your cock past her lips.

Looking past her, you see that Jackson is doing the same with Haneul. While the two girls lie on top of each other, they give the two of you head.

"Damn."

You groan, acknowledging how skilled Natty is. She definitely did this more often than Haneul. You feel her tongue doing all kinds of tricks as she keeps her lips sealed around your length. You place a hand on top of her head and give her mouth shallow thrusts.

As you use Natty's mouth, you watch Julie, who keeps riding Miller's face. Seems like she got a hold of the lieutenant as well. Kang is standing on the bed, right in front of her. One of Julie's hands is wrapped around his length, while her lips are sealed around his shaft as well. Her other hand is entangled in Miller's hair.

Wait, where is Belle?

She catches your eye as she slowly crawls over the bed towards you. Just when she's about to reach you, you reach for her face, pulling her up by her chin. Belle smiles at you, before the two of you share a kiss. It doesn't last long, because Belle now reaches down to have a taste of your cock as well.

Natty starts to moan all over your cock when Jackson slowly pushes his cock inside of her. You watch her eyes roll as she suddenly finds herself trapped between the two of you. When Jackson pushes forward, he basically makes her take you down her throat. Belle makes sure that even your base is cared for, while Natty becomes helpless.

Belle suddenly gasps in surprise when Miller reaches around her waist and pulls her body towards him. Julie is already an all fours while Kang fucks her from behind. The older man now puts Belle into the same position. But instead of fucking her, you catch how he starts to eat her ass. The younger girl quickly turns into a moaning mess. Her and Julie both exchange one kiss after another.

Looking down on yourself again, you notice how Natty is starting to drool all over Haneul's beautiful pussy. It now looks so wet and so good, you can't help yourself. You almost have to push Natty's head off your cock for her to leave you alone. Now her moans are louder. You reach down and place two fingers on Haneul's clit. You feel her jump at the sudden touch, but when you start playing with her, you hear her moan as well.

"Damn, Natty. Haneul is such a tight girl."

"Yeah, she is. Such a tight cunt."

You make Natty watch as you slowly penetrate Haneul's glistening folds. The older girl keeps drooling all over the younger girl's pussy, coating your cock in her saliva as well.

"Does she feel good for you? Is she being a-"

A particularly hard thrust leaves Natty speechless for a moment.

"Is-Is she being a good little girl for you?"

"Yes, she is."

You take a hold of Natty's chin and make her look up at you.

"You like it when your friend is a slut?"

She eagerly nods, another moan leaving her mouth.

"Do you want to see how I use her tight pussy like a fleshlight?"

You talk a little louder, making sure Haneul can mentally prepare herself.

"Yes, yes, yes. Fuck her like the slut she is."

As Natty talks, you feel Haneul's legs close around you in conformation. It seems like the younger girl has lost all of her shyness by now.

You properly take a hold of her thighs and start to fuck Haneul's pussy. A moment later, you hear a string of moans and whines leave her lips. You watch how Jackson momentarily pulls out of Natty and thrusts down into Haneul's wide open mouth. You doubt the young girl has ever had two cocks inside of her at once. The two of you alternate between both of their mouths and pussies, turning the two of them into begging messes.

"Are you really going to-Oh god!"

You glance to your right as you hear a loud yelp. Belle is now on top of Miller, who is sitting on the bed. Her feet are planted on his thighs, her hands are holding onto his wrists. His own hands are on her waist.

"You're so big, oh god!"

He makes Belle take his cock into her ass. Slowly at first, before he starts to pick up the pace a little. You can't help but notice how good her pussy looks as well. Not as good as Haneul's to be honest though.

You don't really remember how you ended up in this position. After Haneul, you do remember being inside of Julie and the Belle. Now, you're lying on the bed and Haneul is on top of you. She's facing you, her hands on your chest, supporting her weight. To your left, the other three couples have gotten into the same position. The three guys and you are all lying down, while the four girls are each riding someone. At some point, the four of them all got into the same rhythm. They all lift themselves upwards and then impale themselves on their partner below at the same time.

"I-I think I'm gonna...."

Haneul's voice gets cut off when your cock is finally too much for her. You could tell she's kept it in for a while now, just to be on the same level as the other three. But now she finally becomes undone, shaking on top of you. Her snug pussy twitching around your cock. You hold onto her waist, making sure she doesn't fall down.

The next one to go is Belle. She is riding Jackson, who's lying next to you. With a loud gasp, she joins Haneul in her orgasmic state. When Haneul finally calms down, she looks at you.

"I-I need a break."

You nod, noticing that she really is out of breath. You help her with climbing off of you. As Haneul lies down, you get up. The fact that she just came on top of you has you longing for more. And the way Belle has started to pick up her pace once more, indicates she can take more as well.

Now kneeling behind her, you reach around her body and cup her breasts. Her bounces slow down and you move a little closer. Jackson reaches behind her and pulls Belle's cheeks apart.

"Why are you-"

She gets the answer a second later as she feels your tip push pass the tight ring of her ass.

"Oh! Oh, god! I've never taken this much before!"

You thrust inside of her, making Belle almost fall forward.

Jackson and you start to work together. Whenever you push inside Belle, his hands on her ass push her upwards as well. It makes her take even more of you, while her pussy glides along his shaft. And then you almost pull out of her as you pull her down with you, impaling her on his cock.

"Oh, yes! Ruin me!"

Belle quickly gets into it, the feeling of having two holes filled overwhelming her.

"Fuck, that's so hot."

Julie sighs on your right, who is riding Kang's cock. Next to her is Natty doing the same with Miller. The two guys exchange a look.

"Hey, wait!"

Natty complains, but Miller ignores her. He pushes her off of him and kneels behind Julie. The oldest has a mischievous grin on her face.

"Oh, yes. Give it to me, boys."

She moans loudly when the two of them start to fuck her ass and pussy as well. She doesn't seem to care at all that Natty just lost her own opportunity to feel good.

You motion her to come closer and Natty quickly crawls towards you. After she lies on her back, you hold Belle with only one hand and insert two fingers of your other one into Natty's wet pussy.

All three girls are now moaning together again, while Haneul is still lying on the side. Still recovering.

"Fuck."

You groan into Belle's ear, desperately trying to fight the urge to bite into her naked shoulder. Her ass is just so tight. It feels so good. That tight ring of her muscles keeps squeezing the life out of you, while you feel can feel Jackson's cock inside of her as well.

"Oh my god."

Belle sighs and moans. By now, she has become dead weight. It's up to you and Jackson to move her up and down, while you use her holes. Eventually, her strength leaves Belle's whole body. She collapses on top of Jackson. He's still inside her pussy and now you start to fuck Belle's ass a little faster. You make her body rock back and forth on top of him.

Natty seizes that opportunity and quickly climbs on top of Belle. You hear Jackson groan, you can't tell if it's their combined bodies on top of him, or just Belle's snatch. Either way, you're now able to switch between the two girls.

You pull out of Belle's snug ass and push inside Natty's pussy.

"Oh, yes. Fuck me hard."

The older girl sighs, backing her ass up a little bit more.

"Oh, that's it. You're gonna give us your cum?"

Julie's words push you towards the edge as you feel her hand quickly stroking your cock. The four girls are all kneeling on the floor in a circle, their backs up against each other. The four of you each stand in front of one of them.

Kang is the first to finish. With a loud groan, he cums all over Natty. Her face and her tits are painted waited after only a couple of seconds. Belle is the second one to get hit. Miller unloads all over her face as well, some of his cum hits her hair and Haneul as well.

Julie puts your cock into her mouth as well, urging you on to not leave her hanging. At the same time, Jackson orgasms too, painting Haneul's face. The youngest gasps at the rather unfamiliar feeling. But before she can say anything, Belle already captures her lips with her own. The two girls engage in a messy, cum filled make out session.

You suddenly feel a second pair of lips on your cock. Natty's painted face greats you as she eagerly lets her lips wander along your length.

"Fuck."

You groan, the two girls quickly getting you to the point of no return.

When they realize you're about to cum, they both lean back. They use their hands to push their tits together. Mouths wide open and tongues out. Natty closes her eyes, while Julie looks straight up at you.

You finally finish, painting both of their faces and tits. The sight in front of you almost makes you hard again already as you see the two girls sharing your cum.

You thought your birthday would've already been the highlight of your shore leave. But you're proven wrong, when you wake up the next day to a snap from your new friend.

#ask #anon #kpop #kpop smut #kpop girls #kpop gg #male reader #snsd yuri #snsd smut #snsd #kwon yuri #yuri smut #julie kiss of life #haneul kiss of life #natty kiss of life #belle kiss of life #kiss of life smut #kiss of life

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the-kr8tor · 1 month ago

Note

Hello! May I make a request of Hobie and the reader doing a long distance phone call during New Years (like different time zones) and Hobie is struggling to stay up until it becomes New Years for R? 🥹 Please take your time if you have a lot of requests already!

Thank you for the adorable request! I had so much fun writing it ❤️ I hope you like it!

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Word count: 1k

Tags: no use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, lovestruck! Hobie, one suggestive joke, fluff!

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

The clock ticks in Hobie's ears relentlessly while he's all cozied up in bed. It's already four am on his side of the world, the fireworks are long gone, confettis scattered and left on his shag carpet, and the smell of champagne and beer he tried to scrub off lingers around the house boat. He's dead tired from the festivities, and the quiet snores from the band who are sleeping in his living room doesn't help his sleep deprived state. All he wants to do is close his eyes and wake up ten hours later for breakfast. But he'll be damned if he doesn't wait for the clock to strike midnight in your timezone.

“You can sleep, Hobie, I'll be fine.” Your voice bounces off around the tiled bathroom as you hide inside and away from the loud party happening just outside the door. You just can't seem to be in the mood for partying when he's not there with you. Missing him is the understatement of the century, all you want right now is to be cuddled up under the sheets with him.

“I know, lovie.” He's extra affectionate when sleep clings to him. Whispering into the phone so he doesn't wake up his band mates. “But I couldn't sleep and leave you in last year.” You chuckle, his deep crackly voice caused by his sleepiness earns a fond smile from you, reminding you of the times he'd whisper sweet words to you before bed. “‘sides, we always snogged at midnight.”

“How will we kiss at midnight, handsome?” Your tone is full of affection mixed with a touch of longing. “Are you gonna make out with your phone?”

Hobie muffles his laughter against his pillow, or your pillow for that matter, one he sprays with your perfume before bed to make himself less lonely.

“I could, I have you as my screensaver.” He sniffs, the cold January night nestling in his bones.

“And I have you as mine, but that doesn't mean I'm going to kiss my dirty ass phone.”

“Why not?” He jokes, practically seeing your smile in his mind's eye.

“Because!” You laugh, the sound echoing around the bathroom and out of his phone's speakers. “Phones are as nasty as a toilet seat, y’know.”

“That one of your facts?”

“Yeah, it's a true fact.”

“I miss your fun facts, love.” He sighs, turning around to face your empty side of the bed.

“And I miss you, Hobie.” You stare up at the ceiling, watching a moth fly around the moldy roof. “I'm counting down the days until my contract ends. And I promise you'll hear my annoying fun facts again soon.”

“They're not annoyin’. At least tell me that the blokes over there are treatin’ you well.” He hugs himself, pulling the fluffy blanket closer to him. “Yuri says she'll march over there if someone's an arse to you.”

“Yuri or you?” You chuckle, hearing cheering outside but when you check the time you're still five minutes away from midnight.

“Both, love. We'll all fly over there and rescue you.”

“You don't have to wait long, Hobie. In just one month and you don't have to miss me anymore—” A knock interrupts you, telling you to hurry up on the toilet. “In a second!”

“Someone needs to shite, love.” He laughs against the receiver as he hears you snort at his joke. And with a click of the door, you open it, only to be met by the loud partying.

“Sorry,” he doesn't know if you're apologizing to him or to the person. “I'll find a spot, Hobie. Give me a minute.”

“You've got all my minutes, lovie.” He fights a yawn, hearing some shuffling and booming music on the other end. A contrast to the quiet of his houseboat.

After a minute, the sound of the party fades into the background. “There, found an empty bedroom with a view of the fireworks. I got lucky.”

“A bedroom huh? Should I open my camera for a video call instead?” You can practically picture the smirk from his tone alone.

“If you want to get a bill with three digits then sure, Hobie.” You joke, sitting down on the squeaky bed just as he sits up on his own mattress.

“I could buy a bloody ticket with that.” He looks at the small porthole window, seeing the moon and the clear sky just outside. It fills him with comfort to know that you're also looking at the same moon and sky. “Three minutes till midnight, love, what's your wish?”

“To see you.” You don't miss a beat. “And to more years with you.”

“‘m not goin' anywhere.” His eyes grow heavy with every second that passes. “Consider your wish granted.”

You feign a gasp. “Are you outside right now?!”

“Yeah, ‘m the one settin’ up fireworks.”

Laughing, you start to hear the countdown. “Thirty seconds, Hobie. What was your wish?”

“For you to come home.” Your heart squeezes in your chest. “And for Osborne to kick the bucket.”

You smile, standing up to get closer to the window. “All good wishes.” The crowd outside counts from ten backwards. “It's a nice night out, Hobie. Just think that a month from now we'll be spending it together again.”

6, 5…

“Jus’ the night?” He teases.

4, 3…

“All day, 24/7, and all the fucking nights.” You giggle, eyes glimmering as the multi coloured fireworks go off in the distance.

2, 1!

“Happy New year, Hobie.”

“Happy new year, love.” He inhales, missing your warmth and the press of your lips against his own.

“Are you kissing your phone? Please don't kiss your phone.” You're alone in the dark room, but your heart feels full whenever you talk to him. You might be miles apart from him but you've never felt closer to him than ever.

“Snoggin’ it right now.” Joking, he smacks his lips together.

“I'm going to have to sanitize your lips when I get home.”

“Usin’ your own lips right?” He flirts, thinking that it wouldn't work and would just have you laughing. But with your yearning sigh on the other end, he knows he got you.

“I change my wish, my new wish is for you to fly your flat ass out here and grant my first wish.”

“Watch me swing over there, love.”

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ahcoffeebeans2 · 4 months ago

Text

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jihyoruri · 4 months ago

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❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ 𓍢 NOBODY KNOWS kim minji x reader

👛★ ͘ ⴰ ever since summer 2022 new jeans has been at the top of the world surpassing and creating records and getting biggger and better every month but then SM Entertainment drops a new girl group stardom out of knowhere on everyone’s heads “surpassing and creating records” just like a certain group, causing a rivalry in the media and between the groups behind closed doors.

in which behind the secret of rivalry between stardom and new jeans, there’s an even bigger secret between their leaders.

PARING — kim minji x idol!reader

last. masterlist. next

★ ͘ PAGE#1 nobody knows — ❝tonight let’s start a masquerade, I’m coming over but nobody knows my little secret ❞

“the rising sensation, stardom, is adding yet another major endorsement to their growing portfolio, now becoming ambassadors for Sony. they’re set to release a special line of headphones with the iconic brand, already racking up over 100,000 pre-orders—and counting.”

a groan came from beside minji, drawing her amused gaze toward the source of irritation.

“we’re listening to the radio! since when did radio news start caring about stardom’s endorsements?” hanni muttered, rolling her eyes. “that’s not news.”

stardom's name had been everywhere lately, dominating headlines as they skyrocketed to fame.

“they’re still not bigger than us,” minji said, patting hanni’s shoulder as she adjusted her seatbelt. “so why does it matter?”

“they have their own sony headphones, minji.”

“ahh, they have it in purple ,” hyein murmured from the seat behind, eyes glued to her phone.

hanni shot her a sharp glare, haerin pinched her arm, and danielle threw her a disapproving look.

“sorry,” hyein mumbled, shrinking back.

“i just want one day where i don’t have to hear about them,” hanni sighed, her frustration clear as the other girls nodded in agreement. “it’s bad enough they’re performing tomorrow, too.”

“how about see them everywhere,” minji chuckled, gesturing out the window at a bus stopped next to their van. plastered along the side was an ad for pocari sweat, featuring stardom smiling brightly for yet another endorsement.

“ugh”

“rate how shady you think they’re gonna be tomorrow, out of ten ,” summer asked, turning to face the rest of the girls lounging in the back of the van, while eunjin quietly flipped through the pages of her book beside her.

“eight point five ,” yuri replied, lifting her head from yn’s shoulder, causing the van to erupt in laughter.

“I was gonna say nine, but I’m bumping it to ten,” hana chimed in, mischievously kicking the back of eunjin’s seat, sending the girl jolting forward. “i don’t trust that hyein girl. she’s always staring at me.”

“oh, you wanna talk about staring? let’s talk about their leader, who’s always staring at our leader,” yuri said, rolling her eyes. “sometimes, i feel like she’s just gonna jump and eat yn, it’s probably all that jealousy.”

yn playfully rolled her eyes at yuri’s comment. “i’ll go with a seven. that sunshine girl can’t do any harm,” she said, finally answering summer’s question.

“i dare them to say something slick,” summer added, turning back to the front with a smirk. “what do you think?” she nudged eunjin, who sighed in response.

all eyes shifted to eunjin—whenever she spoke, the girls paid attention. she didn’t say much, so when she did, they hung onto every word.

“jealousy is a nasty thing. it eats away at you. and they’ve definitely got it,” eunjin replied, calm and thoughtful. “so yeah, i’m with yuri—eight point five.”

a slow clap broke the silence. “bravo, the wise words of eunjin unnie,” yuri teased, making the others chuckle.

the sound of screams and clapping filled the air as minji watched stardom walk onto the stage to receive their award. both newjeans and stardom had been up for artist of the year in japan, and while everyone kind of knew stardom would win— even though it was just a year into their career the girls had been dominating asia—it didn’t stop the girls from feeling a bit salty

"at least we still have the western market," danielle muttered quietly, just loud enough for the girls to hear. they all watched as stardom struggled to start their speech over the deafening cheers and applause.

"they're probably coming for that too," hanni replied, trying to keep her face neutral, fully aware of the cameras trained on them. with the ongoing internet war between newjeans and stardom, their reactions would undoubtedly make headlines. "right, minji?"

hanni glanced at their leader, expecting a response, but minji was silent. her gaze was locked on the stage, fixed on stardom's leader, yn, who was the last to deliver her thank you. yn's eyes shimmered with unshed tears, like crystals catching the stage lights—so captivating, it was impossible to look away. yuri gently wrapped an arm around yn’s waist, offering quiet comfort, which caused minji to slightly clench her jaw, while the other members leaned in supportively as yn spoke.

"thank you to our fans, to everyone who's believed in us," yn's voice trembled slightly, thick with emotion. "we wouldn't be here without you. this award means the world to us... and we promise to keep working harder."

as she finished her speech, the cheers erupted again, louder than ever, but minji hardly noticed. she was still mesmerized, completely taken by yn’s beauty and the way she seemed to glow under the stage lights. hanni glanced at minji again and saw the way she stared, almost hypnotized by stardom's leader.

"dude, are you okay?" hanni asked, raising an eyebrow.

minji blinked, snapping out of her daze, her face suddenly flushing. "what—uh, yeah, i'm fine," she stammered, her voice a little too quick.

hanni narrowed her eyes, clearly unconvinced but chose to let it slide. "okay..." she mumbled, though her suspicion lingered as she turned back toward the stage. minji's weirdness wasn’t something she was going to ignore forever.

yn linked her arm with yuri’s as they strolled through the hallway, trying to track down their managers. “leave it to us to get lost,” she sighed, glancing around with a hint of amusement.

“who cares that we’re lost? we just won artist of the year! everybody celebrate!” hana exclaimed, jumping onto eunjin’s back, earning a startled yelp from the quieter girl.

"we’re going to a sushi restaurant and eating everything," yuri chimed in, her tone playful as she squeezed yn's arm.

the girls were so caught up in their laughter and excitement that they didn’t notice another group walking toward them from the opposite direction.

summer, still laughing at hana almost slipping off eunjin's back, wasn’t paying attention and kept walking backward—until she crashed into someone with a hard thud. the hallway suddenly fell silent as everyone froze.

“ow!”

“oh, i’m so sor—” summer started to apologize, but her words faltered the moment she realized who she’d bumped into. “—ry,” she finished awkwardly, eyes locking with hyein from newjeans.

hyein’s eyes flashed with recognition, but she quickly masked it, shrugging off summer’s apology as if it were nothing. her gaze briefly flickered to hana, who had slid off eunjin’s back under the weight of the tense moment, though she averted her eyes as hana shot her an icy glare.

hanni stepped forward, her expression hardening as she glared at the five girls. her eyes locked onto summer. “you should be sorry. maybe watch where you’re going. hyein’s already had an injury—we don’t need another.”

summer’s eyebrows shot up, clearly not liking the tone. she glanced behind her, almost in disbelief, as if confirming hanni had really spoken to her like that. a dry laugh escaped her lips as she shook her head. “i know you’re not serious—”

eunjin gently placed a hand on summer’s shoulder, a silent plea to drop it. “leave it alone.”

yn stepped in, her voice calm but firm. “summer unnie, just let it go.”

but hanni wasn’t done. “what? i was just reminding your member to watch where she’s going. what’s the problem?” she snapped back, the situation wasn’t serious but she couldn’t hold back her resentment towards the girl group so she used this as an opportunity.

hanni didn’t back down, her focus now shifting to yn. “maybe your leader can explain it, so you understand better.” she said coolly, her challenge clear.

yn did exactly what summer had done—looked behind herself in disbelief—before she took a step forward, but yuri’s arm quickly wrapped around her waist, pulling her back. "leave it.” yuri whispered, though yn’s eyes were still locked on hanni's, before switching to minji’s who looks away.

“you’re right.” yn said her voice calm, “they’re just bitter.” she says her eyes still on minji before walking straight past the rest of the group the rest of the girls following behind her.

“you two,” yuri muttered, shaking her head as she pointed at yn and summer, “need serious anger management.”

yn cursed under her breath as her phone buzzed softly, hoping it didn’t wake yuri, who was fast asleep beside her in the hotel bed. glancing at the screen, she saw the message

she looked at the message.

“I’m near your hotel.”

she sighed quietly, running a hand through her hair before carefully sliding out of bed, moving cautiously so as not to disturb hana, who was sprawled out in a starfish position on the other bed.

with a quick glance around to make sure no one stirred, yn slipped out of the hotel room as quietly as possible and made her way down to the street outside, her heart racing with anticipation.

"hey."

minji looked up from her phone to find yn standing in front of her, a juicy couture cap pulled low over her head. minji couldn’t help but smile. "hey."

"you texted," yn said softly, her eyes scanning minji's face as if searching for something.

"i did."

"so..."

"i missed you," minji admitted, gently pulling yn closer by the arm. yn’s eyes dropped, her cheeks flushing as she looked away, clearly flustered.

"same," yn mumbled, clearly embarrassed. after a pause, she added, "your member really wanted to pick a fight today, huh?"

minji groaned, rolling her eyes as she tugged yn even closer, until there was almost no space left between them. "yeah..." she trailed off, unsure what to say. it wasn’t like she fully agreed with her group's dislike toward stardom, but she understood the frustration. stardom had come out of nowhere, sweeping up all the attention.

"let’s not talk about that," minji murmured, her fingers absentmindedly playing with the gold “s” necklace hanging around yn's neck. all of the stardom girls had one, each in either silver or gold.

minji’s tone shifted as she changed the subject. "there’s this 24 hour ramen place..." she started, watching as a smile slowly spread across yn’s face. "if you want to…"

"of course i do," yn replied, her smile now fully blooming, the tension between them melting away.

#new jeans #new jeans x reader #kim minji #kim minji x reader #minji #minji x reader #★stardom #girl group imagines

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alparlaboratories · 2 months ago

Text

Yuri Game Jam 2024 - Retrospective, thoughts and five recommendations.

As my favorite yearly pre-holidays tradition, the Yuri Game Jam has once again come and gone, giving us a staggering 110 games, comics, zines and pieces of writing to gnaw on for the remainder of the year. The timing is, as always, on point. A 2-month period where I’m given the task to make something is just what I need to keep the stress of the dying year at bay and avoid losing my mind, and I’m sure it’s the same for a lot of us.

And though the Yuri Game Jam has been going strong for nearly ten years and I’ve only been part of the last two, I’m amazed by how much it’s grown. Not just in the amount of entries, but in the scope and craft of the games themselves. I always strive to play every single entry from a jam I’m part of to the best of my ability, and though I haven’t gone back yet and played the submissions for the eight yuri jams I’ve missed (like with everything, I just gotta find the time) just comparing last year to this one gives me a lot of appreciation for the people who put so much work into it, especially those I recognized from 2023’s jam, whose craft has definitely evolved. And some others making their debut who absolutely blew my socks off with their entries. More on that soon.

Regardless, hi. My current online moniker is Inyssa; I’m an Argentinian creature who’s very new to the world of Original English Visual Novels, and someone new to VNs in general, but who’s fallen in love with the genre and wants to learn all about it. I’ve made two VNs so far (Don’t Die Digging and Blunt Soul Trauma) both for Yuri jams, though I still feel like I have a lot to learn, which is why I try to play as many OEVNs as possible, and also read/watch what inspired them.

I’m not in the habit of writing long pieces like this one, but I just had a lot of thoughts bouncing off after playing a good chunk of the entries for this year, and I had to get them out somehow. So here we are.

First off, a shoutout and big thanks to nadia nova and SabrinaTVBand, the organizers of the jam and two amazing creators in their own right.

So here’s my idea. I’ll give a small introduction to my thoughts on this year’s jam after this, and then I’ll recommend five (maybe a few more) recommendations from this jam for you to play. Except a top-5 would be, I fear, a little repetitive. I know what I like in terms of VNs, and if I just listed my five favorites there’d be a bunch of the same type of VN, which is not my intention. I want a little variety.

As such, I’ll list out five different types of games, five categories decided completely arbitrarily by me, and assign a ‘best game’ to each of them. Because while I went through these entries, there were times I saved the heavy ones for when I was in the right headspace, and some of the softer ones for when I needed a break. So hopefully there’ll be a little something here for everyone.

Yeah? Yeah.

Some barely-connected thoughts about this jam, and my impressions so far.

Again, I’m speaking as someone who’s only been here for the past two jams, so I’m not sure how much insight I can give here. It’s just my thoughts and my impressions.

What caught my attention the most about this year’s jam, what pleasantly surprised me, was the variety of submissions. And I don’t mean that in genre or themes. Though there is a very healthy mix of those, but it’s more the types of stories, the way they were told and crafted, the skill that went behind them, that was so nice to see. And not to say it wasn’t good last year. I was just as impressed in 2023, playing game after game the likes of which I didn’t know I could have access to before.

And it’s not until I had this year to compare it to, I think, that I noticed how much more diverse the jam has gotten. And less streamlined, more blurry in a good way when it comes to intent, craft and themes in a way that kind of feels like a genre’s growth into something like negative capability, though that’s maybe too much to speculate for someone so new to it.

To put it more plainly, looking back I see a lot of what seem like similar through-lines, similar family trees you could say in the way a good number of the games were made, in what they reminded me of. You could tell there were some convergent inspirations. Which is common when it comes to artists and writers who know each other, and who surely recommend other works to each other that they’re particular to. Vonnegut, Nabokov, Mishima, Joseph Heller, Dennis Cooper, Dostoevsky and a pinch and a dash of Mark L. Danielewski; those are a few of the authors I kept thinking back on in retrospect as I re-visited last year’s games. And while they are fantastic inspirations, there’s a lot of intersecting lines in between them. A cultural and geographical quirk/fascination for a type of individualistic apathy that’s to be expected in a mostly English-speaking jam, and certainly not something that made me enjoy it or those games any less, but a scope I’m very happy to see widen in 2024’s set of submissions.

It’s just nice to have variety, you know? Also a bigger pool of myth re-imaginings and re-tellings, which I’m so happy to see this year. One of my favorite parts of any game jam is to play/read something and then immediately go experience whatever it was inspired by, and that this year’s jam gave me that opportunity many more times shows its growth alone, in my opinion.

And now I’ll give some examples. Not all of the categories will be about what I wrote above; there’ll still be a good amount of that goodness reminiscent of last year that made me fall in love with the jam in the first place. But there’ll be more of it than last time for sure.

In any case, here’s my five recommendations (plus a couple more) of games to play from this jam, each with an accompanying song of my choosing, most/all from my own country. We make good music, what do you want me to say?

Without further ado:

5 - “Porque no hay tiempo de amargarse ni llorar por un pasar mejor (Because there's no time to cry and feel bitter about what might’ve been).”

(Or: Psychosexual capitalist hellscape games)

Accompanying song: Cartonero by Ataque 77

This is, I’m sure, what many know the Yuri Game Jam best for, its bread and butter. And for good reason. You go to your favorite neighborhood food joint for the sandwich that reminds you of home, and you go to this particular game jam for the sopping wet pathetic girlthings being ground into paste by the masticating gears of capitalism.

This year’s crop didn’t disappoint on that front. It was actually hell to decide a best for this category.

But ultimately, I think the spot has to go to Heatwave by deaddeaddeath.

Content warnings: Dehumanization, self-harm, blood and violence, religious and sexual abuse, and more. Carefully look over the CWs in the game page before playing.

As I said before, this was so, so difficult. I knew that Heatwave deserved a recommendation as soon as I played it; one of the first games I played from the jam, actually. And then I played so many more that were just as good in that regard. Games that could’ve just as easily taken this spot… but none who reached this level of excellence, if only by a hair’s width.

One of those games is EasyXShot, which could’ve been the one chosen had I written this list some other day. It really was that close (if this were a straight-up top five, EasyxShot would be up there) and it’s a game that deserves to be played as long as you read the CWs beforehand. It has an immaculate dynamic between its two main characters, which is all you need to build a story really, but this one goes above and beyond. Another is No Dogs Under Heaven, which isn’t as much about capitalism, but definitely about grinding and crushing. Though it’s unfinished as of the time of me writing this, it made someone like me who has zero religious trauma deeply, deeply uncomfortable in a way I look for in these types of games, and also deserves a recommendation.

Anyway, onto Heatwave.

Catgirl suffers in capitalist hellscape

…is the main tag for the game, and it’s accurate. Angel (it/its) is a young cat hybrid who is in a not thoroughly explained and dubiously-consensual relationship with an older woman who runs a bar, living upstairs and helping her with whatever it can, whether it be its body or its skills. Unfortunately, even this isn’t enough for Angel to earn a living, and her caretaker needs money to keep it at her side. Left with no other choices, Angel applies to be a guide for the Heatwave, an impossibly vast and physics-defying space in between spots in the world where a blisteringly hot suburban landscape stretches into infinity, sapping the will and sanity of all who enter without being able to navigate it, which Angel seems to have an aptitude for. What follows is one of the best visual novels I’ve ever played.

Above, I said that I appreciate games that spark in me the curiosity to go and experience what they were based on, and Heatwave did that twice for me. Once with Roadside Picnic, and once for Not I (although that one isn’t as tied to the game per se).

But beyond that, I picked Heatwave for this spot because I genuinely think every part of it just works.

Writing, first and foremost. The prose is raw and evocative, a gut punch through words for every one there is textually within the story, and it reads so beautifully on top of that. ‘...wait until its shrapnel thoughts caltrop picasso’, as another reviewer commented, is one hell of a descriptive phrase. It’s the kind of prose that makes the eyes stick to every word.

The sound design and the use of sound assets is perfect for the setting. The visuals and the way they’re programmed, the sharp, static-y cut-ins and the PC-98 reminiscent decorative boxes around the game and around the character portraits are beautiful, and so are the portraits themselves. The expressions, the little facial animations, everything makes me want to learn how to do it myself.

Not to mention Del and Angel’s relationship, which is like watching a train speed full-steam ahead onto a concrete wall, and being unable to do anything about it. Angel’s struggles, its quirks and triggers and everything else about it is so well-thought out, and it’s all integrated into the setting of the game itself, into the Heatwave in a way that tells a story on top of another story without words.

Heatwave is an incredible piece of art, and it’s what I hope to see every time I play one of these games.

4 - “Los viejos reyes vendrán con la tempestad (The old kings will come riding atop the storm).”

(Or: Re-imaginings of myths and folklore.)

Accompanying song: El Reino Olvidado by Rata Blanca.

I couldn’t be happier that we’re spoiled for choice here, difficult though it makes choosing a best one amongst all these games. Though it’s not specifically mythological stories I wanted more of. It’s more the subtle differences like fingerprints that you can sometimes see in works made by non primarily English-speaking teams or developers, even if I’m not sure all the ones mentioned here count for that. Still, part of the reason I’ve been toying with the idea of launching a Global South game jam is to bring a little more spotlight to these kinds of stories, and to have them for myself so I can experience them, of course.

There were four games vying for this spot. First there’s Lanú, who I almost made the winner mostly because it’s a promising demo with an ambiance and a setting that really appeals to me, also being a Spanish-speaker, and the fact it’s also available in that language is a huge bonus.

Second is Night on the Bayou, a hilarious and very competently-made game about a Lousiana deadwoman rising from her grave as all specters do at the same time of year, and going on a quest to marry to her beloved before her time is up and she has to go back to the bayou. The art and the sprites are gorgeous, and it was also this close to winning the spot.

Third is Prisoner of the Mist, a beautiful T4T re-imagining of a few Scottish and Gaelic myths with a lot of love and originality thrown in. Very moving, very gay. I’d definitely recommend trying it out if any of that appeals to you.

But yeah, in the end it is Larut that takes the cake.

Fuck, the art of this game is gorgeous.

And not just the spritework, though that’s flawless on its own, but the whole presentation of the game, almost like reading an illustrated book of an old myth, the kind I used to read as a kid to give myself nightmares. Not to say that the game falls squarely in the horror category. It leans more psychological on that front, and there’s a good deal of intrigue and godly politicking going on that makes you want to know more.

Larut is a re-telling of the Indonesian myth of Nyi Roro Kidul, the godly Queen of the Southern Sea, a figure as enigmatic as she is regally charming, and who sees fit to take a young woman under her fins after she’s lost everything at the hand of her abusive family, making her into her lady-in-waiting. Said woman, Kandita, becomes grateful and infatuated with Nyi Noro Kidul in equal measures, to worrying degrees.

To what extent is this within the queen’s expectations, however, is not clear.

Despite being a re-telling of an already existing myth, the care and meticulous detail that went into every aspect of this game is easily on par with the best of myth adaptations. As I said before, I could see this being sold as an illustrated book in a library and I wouldn’t bat an eye. It’s clear the developers, artists and writers were not only on the same page, but knew exactly what they were doing, exactly what they wanted to make from this myth.

And they succeeded with flying colors. Do yourself a favor and give it a try; it’s not every day you get the chance to learn about mythology in such a beautiful way.

3 - “Quiero besarla hasta sentir dolor (I want to kiss her until it hurts.)”

(Or: So, how ‘bout that yuri?)

Accompanying song: Enamorada by Miranda.

Picking the best yuri out of the whole of the biggest Yuri Game Jam so far is as much of a tall order as I imagined, but at least the other four categories were able to take some games to themselves, because otherwise this would be impossible.

In terms of queer relationships, character dynamics and just the vibes of the yuri, there’s going to be a lot of room for debate. I’m not judging any of these in terms of real-life relationships. Nor am I trying to find the coolest, most interesting character dynamic; you could say this is a spot for something softer, a break from the intensity and trauma of the other categories.

It’s about girls kissing, is what I’m trying to communicate.

But it is also about vibes, about what game I enjoyed the most while being mostly invested in the main couple, if that makes sense. If not, sorry. I just want to talk about this specific handful of stories. First come the honorable mentions, though:

Gap Moe Mob Boss is exactly what it says on the tin; a harsh, commanding dog-girl mob boss comes back from prison to find another gang trying to encroach in her territory, and she must balance her role as a mafioso with her desire to spend all her time in the café where her bunny-girl crush works. It’s sweet, it’s nice to play and it has more research into organized crime than you’d think. Then there’s The Delicate Hearts of Sincerely Affectionate Girls, a hand-drawn and colored comic about someone coming to terms with her identity and the way in which she sees love, different from those around her. It’s hard to find good non-traditional romance, and this one is very realistic and sweet on top of that, so give it a try. Finally there’s Mechanical Relations, straight from the creator of my favorite entry for this year’s Menhera game jam; a short, adorable RPG about a robot girl and her girlfriend crashing into a scrap planet and having sex while waiting to be rescued. Simple, but effective.

The spot, though, ultimately goes to Signal Strength because I think it deserves the spotlight.

This is a videotome game about a small group of lesbians who work at an agricultural research station and a radio communications center in some far-off moon away from Earth, with little to do every day except talk to each other online or riding tractors. Ming, who works at the former, is bored out of her mind. With little else to do, she comes up with the idea of filming a home-made children’s show for her little sibling, using what little resources she and her friends can gather and roping them into acting and filming roles, including her ex and radio operator, who is very awkward around her.

Signal Strength might be the shortest of the games mentioned for this category, but there’s just something about it. It’s a simple game, but everything feels on point. The videotome aspect and vibes of the whole thing are immaculate; it feels as though you’re watching it all through a cheap video camera, and the ambient rural sounds are very well picked and utilized.

Though it’s the setting and how the characters react to that made me fall in love with it. It really feels like watching a group of young queer people stuck in a rural area who have to come up with their own entertainment, and there’s something so charming about it. Not to mention that the main relationship of the game is as realistically painful as these things usually are, especially when everyone knows each other where you live.

Also I thought the ending was very cute and appropriate.

It really is a nice, bite-sized gem of yuri, and that’s exactly what I wanted for this category, so go play Signal Strength. I doubt you’ll be disappointed.

2 - “I don’t actually have lyrics for this one.”

(Or: The best executed concept/well put together game).

Accompanying song: Fine, a small break from Argentinian rock. Go listen to the opening song for the 90’s anime adaptation of B’t X, it fucks.

I wanted a category where I could talk about the games I thought worked well from front to end, the ones that had a concept and executed it perfectly or those that were really nicely crafted, though I’m not talking about production values.

Basically, the games where I didn’t have anything I would’ve personally fixed about it. The ones I looked at and thought ‘Yep, everything’s perfectly in place, what a tight narrative, it’s exactly what it needs to be’. Believe it or not, it’s hell to do that on purpose.

And how wonderful that there were enough of these that I had trouble deciding, but also how stressful. These are the honorable mentions.

I feel bad I couldn’t give the spot to Monstrous Deep Blue, so you should go play it. The concept is simple; what if a tokusatsu episode but with sad trans girls who are terrible at expressing their emotions and being honest with each other? And it’s so well-executed. The story is exactly as long and as well-written as any of the best tokusatsu eps. and the spritework is adorable, not to mention the characters themselves. It’s a good one.

Then there’s Meat Girl! I loved this one. A short RPG about a girl who goes to the forest in search of her girlfriend who vanished months ago, but whom she couldn’t search for before because she was too numb and depressed. And in the meantime, it seems, said girlfriend has made friends with an angel who seems to want something from her. Also meat. Also mycelium networks. It’s short but quite punchy, definitely give it a try.

Anyway, I think the most impressive game of this jam is Bridgewater Deepwood Access Radio.

I would kill for Zinnia Braxton.

But anyway, this was the latest entry out of any of the ones in this list, but as soon as I finished playing I knew it deserved a mention. Even though it’s just a demo, it’s the game I enjoyed playing/reading the most, and I was really impressed all throughout by the care and polish that went into every little detail, big or insignificant.

Bridgewater Deepwood Access Radio is about a pair of lesbian coworkers who do a late-night paranormal radio show together, taking calls and listening to people’s supposed paranormal stories, injecting their own thoughts and theories in between. Reb is the romantic out of the romantic/detective dichotomy, maybe not fully buying every story but doing her best to let people be heard, while Zinnia is very much on the opposite camp, a stubborn and sometimes rude skeptic that can barely wait for people to finish telling their stories before shooting ten different holes into them.

The dynamic is really well-written, first of all. Skeptic/believer is a classic for a reason, one of my favorites, and adding Reb and Zinnia’s wildly different personalities and the way they’re both obviously into each other yet only one seems aware is very entertaining to read. Also they’re funny. This game is really funny, which is something that’s hard to do on purpose.

Then there’s the framing of the story. Though six (or more) are planned for the full release, the demo counts with four callers, each one with their own paranormal story to tell, each written and illustrated by a different person, to give the whole thing a bigger ‘anthology’ feel. And it’s hard to overstate just how much that helps the concept.

Though there were four of them, I couldn’t pick a favorite out of the callers/stories told in the demo. Each is unsettling in a very different way. Each draws you in as much as it does Reb and Zinnia, until the latter has a harder and harder time denying something weird is going on. Not to mention the music and the illustrations that every separate artist/composer provide adds to its own tale wonderfully.

Then there’s the honestly beautiful UI work. You look at the girls as though from behind a producer booth, complete with a multitude of buttons and switches and little doodads you can stim with while you experience each of the stories, each one with their own distinct and satisfying click-y sound. And it’s not just the outline. Every visual and audio touch to the UI transitions, to the main menu, even to the transitions of the scenes themselves is so polished and satisfying to experience.

I can’t imagine how much work from so many different people must’ve gone into this. A real team effort. And after playing it, I had to give it a topping spot on this list just on that alone, even if there’s many more reasons why I think it deserves it.

Not the least of which being that out of all the unfinished games on this jam, this is the one I want to see continued the most. I remain on the edge of my seat.

1 - “Pero no detendrán la primavera (But you won’t stop Spring from coming.)”

(Or: A shield of love and a spear of pure spite against the onslaught of fascism)

(Or: “You can’t all be posting on twitter, some of you fuckers gotta help your community”)

Accompanying song: Primavera by La Mancha de Rolando.

This might be the least populated, least complicated of the five categories, but it’s the one that matters to me the most. And while there are a handful of games that could fit here if I stretched the definition a little, there’s only one I feel really deserves both the mention and the spot, and I want to jump straight into it because I have a lot to say here.

She Was Swallowed by the Sun is my favorite game of this year’s Yuri Game Jam. Which doesn’t surprise me, as the people who made it, Snek (writer), Blood Machine (artist) and CØL (music) are also responsible for another one of my favorites from last year’s jam, and I am obsessed with everything they make together.

Content Warnings: Bloody yet consensual sex scenes, state violence and sexual assault, unrelenting and suffocating fascism, gore, body horror and a lot more. Please read the game’s CWs written in the Main Menu and consider them before playing.

Previously I talked about how glad I was for the widening scope of this year’s crop of games in terms of themes and apparent inspirations, and while maybe running similar paths to some of those I mentioned, She Was Swallowed by the Sun veers in a completely different direction, in a good way. I’ll explain with a bit of a tangent before getting into the game proper:

Many of the transgressive fiction I’ve played on itch.io since developing an interest in OEVNs have done a very good job at depicting the realities of being queer, of being part of any minority while living under capitalism or fascism, probably far better than I could, and that’s part of what keeps me coming back to certain authors in the sphere. But there’s sometimes aspects of said games that fail to resonate with me fully. The… to put it unfairly, somewhat apathetic and individualistic view of one’s fate when living under these conditions does resonate, it’s true and raw and something I’m always happy to see, but there’s something about the flavor, the way it’s written that clashes with my own experiences having grown up where I have.

I guess it feels like it lacks some bite, compared to what I grew up reading? Which is no fault of the writing itself; not every story, not even this type, needs that kind of bite and I don’t want to imply that it makes those stories lesser in any way. I’m just describing the feeling of welcomed surprise that comes when you go to a restaurant in a foreign country and they make food exactly how you’re used to eating it back home.

To put it bluntly, and not to toot my own horn but more that of those who came before me, our works of the same genre tend to skew more hopeful and defiant than the Anglo/Euro/American literature I’ve been catching up on these past few years. I guess having been the first Latin-American country to put its CIA-backed dictators to trial, and to force the man responsible for the death and disappearance of over 30.000 of our most vulnerable to die cold and alone in a cell, shitting himself to death, does give you a bit of an ego when it comes to standing up fascism.

And right now, with those who would gladly follow in his footsteps, who would gladly throw our culture and history away and and gag on America’s cock currently in charge of our country, with our most vulnerable at risk again… Hopefully you can understand why I’d appreciate a game like She Was Swallowed by the Sun so much. A game about willing to put a bullet in your own head if it comes out the other end and goes into a fascist’s skull as well.

Anyway, enough about that. Watch Argentina 1985 if you wanna learn more, but now let’s get back to the game.

She Was Swallowed by the Sun stars One, a woman who was sent to prison for the supposed crime of trying to grow a Godseed, a dubious artifact that if fed by One’s body and the right amount of ‘shrines’ in specific locations, has the power to ‘call the sun’. To say more on that front would be spoilers. After spending a long time in prison, hiding the Godseed from the state within her own body, she returns to her old home where Anhedonia, her girlfriend and the one who’s been slipping her drugs that allowed her to halt the Godseed’s growth inside her, is waiting for her.

What follows is nearly 30k words of One and Anhedonia’s daily life as they continue their revolutionary work, using One’s body to feed the Godseed -which causes her indescribable pain- and putting in place all the necessary shrines for the day of reckoning, the only chance anyone might have to deal a fatal blow to the fascist state they live under.

And in the meantime, knowing full well that their deaths are swiftly approaching, One and Anhedonia live their lives. They cook stuff for each other, they go out on dates, they have bloody sex on multiple occasions and they hang out with their only friend now and then, being adorable gay dorks.

If that contrast sounds as interesting to you as it did to me, you might get why I love this game so much. Of course that balance can’t last forever. Of course things deteriorate. The Godseed continually feasts on One’s insides, sprouting eyes all over her that give her a near-divine cognizance that’s too much to bear, and the price she and Anhedonia have to pay in order to make it to the end is more than either of them can mentally or physically stand, and yet they do it anyway. To say more would, again, be spoilers, but the rounding third of the game is a series of scenes that feel like a knife is being twisted inside your gut continuously.

And yet One and Anhedonia never stop being cute, gay dorks in love with each other.

It’s not just the unfathomable acts of love they perform for each other, it’s not just the determination to die for their cause or the unfairness of it all. It’s the feeling that this is something that must have happened in the real world, multiple times.

She Was Swallowed by the Sun does not pull its punches. Its setting might have some fantastical elements, but the pain and oppressive hold of fascism are very real. And that, combined with the way the story itself is resolved, feels almost like a love story to those who have died maybe not for the righteous wish for a better tomorrow, but simply because they can’t live unless they push back.

The way self-sacrifice is shown in the game is refreshing. It’s often not a decision taken in the heat of the moment but a series of decisions taken deliberately over the course of months if not years. It’s sitting alongside the people you love and every day choosing to further a plan that you know will kill you, or them, or all of you, because you just have to. Those around you wouldn’t love you if you chose to do anything else.

And the way that is shown, brought to a boil and then a post-conflagration simmer deserves all the praise I can give. I love this shit. I love this game. If you can stomach the content warnings, I’d say give it a chance to make you love it too.

Closing thoughts

Hard to believe that a couple people working together to organize an event like this, plus all the support and encouragement from the other jammers in the Discord server, is all it takes to bring over a hundred yuri games into the world.

It boggles the mind to see a niche like this grow so much year after year, and it makes me very excited to see what 2025’s gonna bring on that front. Personally, I wouldn’t mind seeing some shonen yuri VNs. Nadia nova has done some good work there already, but there can always be more.

And again, big thanks to nadia and SabrinaTVBand for making this all possible and for moderating the community out of the goodness in their hearts. This jam means a lot to me, and a lot of people, and without it we wouldn’t have so many incredible games.

Until next year then, and do try to give these reccs a try. I’d bet you’re not gonna be disappointed.

#yuri game jam 2024 #visual novel #yuri #queer games #retrospective #larut #signal strength #heatwave #she was swallowed by the sun #bridgewater deepwood access radio

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starrysan · 5 days ago

Text

a night to remember

(title is indeed a laufey ref)

pairing: zamboni operator!san x figure skater! fem!reader

prerequisites/warnings: cursing, reader overworking, friends to lovers, me horribly naming different ice skating tricks..

a/n: I had this draft sitting here for a good month (in that time I released killin it, and like 3 chapters of nouvelle vague.. sorry san), inspired when I saw someone cleaning with the zamboni and someone was holding onto it on the side so they were like riding the zamboni together ykyk (ty for my friend for giving this idea) also this is 100% inspired by that one scene from Yuri on ice ifkyk

[2.04k words]

1st person pov (y/n)

the clock strikes 12. all my friends were long gone at this point. double axel, toe jump, salchow. I didn't even need my music at this point I had memorized my entire number in my head. just a few more times till I can go hom- "are you almost done?" I hear a voice that shakes me from my thoughts as I pause my skating.

"what?" I ask, taking my headphones out of my ears. "I said, are you almost done? I can't go home till the ice gets cleaned." the voice belonged to the zamboni operator, san? I think his name was? "oh yeah i'll be done in a minute" I say before skating around a bit more and reluctantly getting off the ice. I sit on the bench, taking my skates off, wiping the ice off of them and covering them before putting them back in my skate bag.

"why're you still here anyway? its way past 12" san asks going over to turn the zamboni on. "competitions in a few months and my numbers still.. missing something? I don't know" I reply, now finished packing up my bag. "sorry for keeping you waiting. goodnight san." and with that, I left the rink before exiting the building to the parking lot and getting on my bus.

3rd person pov

san wondered why y/n was freaking out when it seemed like she had so much time but he paid no mind. he cleaned the ice like usual, rounding the zamboni all the way around the ice before parking it and heading home himself. this cycle repeated the next few weeks. she would stay till almost midnight but san didn't mind, he watched her do the same routine ten times over, even enjoyed watching it to. her expression turn into a pout whenever she messed up or forgot something.

y/n noticed san's glances as she skated gracefully along the ice, so much so.. that she was too distracted and she slipped on a crack in the ice and fell over. "fuck" she muttered brushing the ice off her knees. "you okay?" san shouts over the glass covering the rink, y/n giving a thumbs up in response.

after the first week, san realized y/n was going home without getting something to eat and started bringing her little snacks to eat before her multi hour long skate sessions. it started with little snacks like a granola bar or a bag of chips, but it turned into full out meals or the two would grab food before she started her practice.

they got to know each other, san finding out y/n had been ice skating ever since she was a kid. y/n finding out san worked there because his dad was the owner of the rink. the two got close.. really close. to the point where they weren't sure what the two were anymore. y/n was currently in san's apartment laying on his lap on the couch as the two watched their favorite show together.

y/n was back on the ice when monday rolled around. she skated around her body moving before she even had to think. though she seemed to be having a bit of a hard time at practice today, stumbling onto herself. the lack of sleep seeming to having caught up to her.

she was getting yelled at left and right and looked like she was about to break. her instructor had her take a break and she stepped off the ice. she has her head down only poking it up when she senses san presence in front of her. she looks up at him and before either of them say anything san pulls her into a hug to which y/n breaks down in his arms.

she sobs into his shirt for a while before muttering a quiet, "I suck" into his chest. "you don't suck" san whispers back. "I do.. I cant get it right." she sniffles. "y/n look at me" san tells her looking down to meet her gaze as she lifts her head up. "you're so good at what you do. you know that right? even when you were just first learning your routine you'd work on it night after night and wouldn't leave till you perfected it. you can do it you just haven't gotten the rest you need.. which we both know is the main reason. but you can do it so don't tell me you suck because we both know you don't" san finishes.

"okay?" he raises an eyebrow at her. "okay" she says. "thanks san" she says hugging him again. "now go on show me your.. what's it called.. your triple axel." he smiles. she giggles before heading back on the ice. her instructor could sense something changed during her break and turned on her music. she skates around letting herself take in the music she had started getting sick of and instead relaxes herself as she skates doing her routine flawlessly.

she looks at san who gives her a smile and thumbs up in approval as she skates off and packs her stuff up. "our show at your place again? ill buy dinner" she asks as san revs up the zamboni. "yeah of course" he says. "wanna go for a ride?" he offers. "how?" she asks puzzled. "hang on tight" he says as she grabs onto the handle of the zamboni as san starts it up.

"woah" y/n exclaims in surprise as the two circle the ice rink. she sees the marks from the figure 8's she drew in the ice, the lines of chalk she drew to skate in a circle. she watches the marks practically vanish as san goes over them with the zamboni. after he finished cleaning he helped her off the machine before the two head to his place to watch their show. y/n falls asleep there as she usually did.

y/n was having another late night practice session as san watched from the benches. "so do you get to skate for free here?" y/n asks as she skates around. "technically yeah but um.." san pauses. "I don't know how to skate" he admits sheepishly. "no way really?" y/n says in surprise stopping right by the little doorway leading out to the rink.

"my dad gets me skates for Christmas every other year or so but I've never gotten around to using them." he continues. "do you want to learn?" y/n asks. "I think im gonna fall and bump my head" san tries to get out of it but the next thing he knew he was going circles around the ice clinging onto y/n for dear life since she didn't let him use the wall.

"y/n we're skating way too fast" he squeaks but y/n just giggles as they go towards the middle. she lets go of him for a second and he freezes in place as she does a figure 8 on the ice. she looked so elegant and ethereal. she smiles and heads back to him. "try skating to me" she says skating backwards no more than a couple feet away from him.

san shakes his head "im gonna fall" he pouts. "you will if you keep that mindset" y/n scoffs. "I won't let you fall san skate to me" she says. he slowly moves his feet more walking than skating but y/n didn't mind as he waddled his way over to her. "you got it!" y/n exclaims as he grasps her hand again. "okay that's enough for today" san frowns and y/n nods in agreement bringing them to the entrance. "did you have fun at least?" she asks cleaning her skates. he hums in reply. "guess so"

it was officially 2 days till competition day, y/n freaking out was a understatement. "y/n you're pacing so much you might burn off the carpet" san chuckles nervously as she paced around his apartment. "sorry i'm nervous as hell" y/n admits. "y/n you're gonna do great" he smiles. "I keep fucking up my triple axel.. what if I fall on the ice in front of everyone?" she says in almost fear. "or.. what if you do so good you get a standing ovation?" san counters. "we both know that's not happening" she sighs. "you never know" he smiles.

finally.. finally, finally it was competition day. y/n changes into her costume and heads out and meets up with san. his eyes widen as he sees her costume. it was an icy white with a flowy skirt, rhinestones and glitter along the skirts edge and her sleeves. "wow you look incredible" san says his jaw practically on the floor. "thank you" she says, nervousness clear in her voice as it shook a bit as she replied. "you're going to do great y/n" san reassures her. "hope you're right"

y/n's name booms through the loudspeakers and y/n walks to the rink stepping on it carefully. the music she had been blasting in her ears for months played almost like a bittersweet reminder to all the work she had put into this piece. she skates around, salchow, upright spin, axel, double axel, lutz jump. she hears her music come to an end as she skates to the center of the rink before she lets herself take a breathe so much had happened in the span of a few months. she had gotten praised, yelled at, she met san.. oh san he changed her life for sure. there wasn't time to think about him now though. she takes a moment before clearing her head completely.

without a second thought she jumps to do her final move. the triple axel she worked her ass off perfecting. the scolding of her instructor runs through her ears but its quickly replaced by san's reassurance. within an instant she goes to do her triple axel almost bracing for impact assuming she’d fall but.. no she didn't. she landed perfectly.

before she knew it, it was over. there wasn't any reaction for a moment but suddenly she hears a cheer, she looks to the side to see san practically jumping out of his seat on the sideline. his cheers are followed by clapping from the audience. it was no standing ovation but y/n didnt need one to feel achieved.

she takes a bow practically bolting off as san was waiting for her his arms wide open. she practically jumps off the ice into his arms as they almost fall backwards but san holds them both flat on the ground. it was like the hug he gave her months ago when she sobbed in his arms but this one was different. she releases herself from the hug still in his arms. they look at each other before anyone could say a word she kisses him. without a second thought she presses her lips right onto his. he gasps in surprise at first but he recovers quickly kissing her right back. they finally pull away from the kiss as san slowly brings her down to the ground. "you did it" he exclaims excitedly. "I knew you could do it" he cheers.

the two grip each other's hands as the places are announced. from runner ups to third place, second place, and finally.. "a night to remember by y/n l/n!" the announcer says and san and y/n jump for joy. "holy shit i won" y/n says in almost disbelief. "of course you won" san smiles lifting her up in his arms again spinning her in circles.

the rink clears out and san goes to clean the ice. "victory lap?" he asks giggling as y/n nods with a big smile stepping onto the zamboni's edge. they talk as san cleans the ice going over the cracks and bumps made by all the skaters on the ice that day. he finishes cleaning helping y/n down as he parks it.

y/n walks out with her trophy in one hand and grips san's hand in the other one. they walk to san's car and he opens the door and helps her in before stepping into the drivers seat. "our show at my place?" he asks starting up the car. "I thought you'd never ask" she smiles.

tysm for reading! if you have any requests pls send them my way!!

if you enjoy my writing and would like to be tagged for future things please fill out this taglist form!

permanent written fics taglist: @yvnhoos @linearities @kattarrynnka @dalsuwaha @coffeewwithdrawlheadaches @wonderz-real @xh01bri @sparda1234 @crownj1min @spenceatiny18

@wooyoungsbrat @cryplnk @cosmicrecs

#starrysan #ateez #ateez fic #ateez fanfic #ateez imagines #ateez x reader #san ateez #san x reader #san fic #ateez san #choi san #choi san fanfic #san fanfic

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mistress--kanzaki · 2 months ago

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May I have a moment of you time?

We all know it's important to share GFM to help spread the word.

I just want to remind you to check the comments too, because there are dozens if not hundreds of Palestinians who comments their GFM in a post but sadly gets ignored.

Here are just a few who commented on my post.

Diana Al-Ajrami - @diana-aj

Diana has two kids, Riad (6) and Ahmed (4). She also lives with her mother and brothers' family. Riad has heart problems and can not get the medicine he needs.

Vetted by 90-ghost and gazavetters (#233)

Diana's GFM - €608 / €10K

Hanan Mahmoud - @hananmahmoud0

Hanan is 32 years old. She has a 3 year old daughter and a 2 month old son. The war has prevented her from buying basic needs for her kids.

vetted by gazavetters (#270)

Hanan's GFM - €1,444 / €50K

Lubna Alajrami - @help-lubnafamily

Lubna has 3 kids. Eline (7), Kinda (3), and Nasser (4). Nasser is disabled, he was born with out a thyroid gland. He used to get treatment but the war made it difficult for him to get the proper care he needs.

veted by gazavetters (#191)

Lubna's GFM - £3,144 / £16K

Em Ali Al-Habil - @abeerayman7

Em has created her account multiple time because she keeps on getting shadow banned and it being deleted. Em, and two of her ten kids has asthma.

vetted by gazavetters (#153)

Em's GFM - €4,092 / €60K target

Youssef Alla Al-Yazji - @yousefalyazjii1

Youssef has a young son, Alaa. The pollution and heat caused the poor boy to develop skin rashes. His wife, Mona. Has an inflammation on her left lung because of the pollution, and the smoke coming from the fire wood whenever she cooks.

vetted by gazavetters (#87) and nabulsi

Youssef's GFM - kr125,514 SEK / kr200K

Sameer Al-Nasla - @sameer-gaza11

Sameer has a family of six people. This consists of his parents and siblings. he lost his house and was forced to be displaced in southern Gaza.

vetted by gazavetters (#112)

Sameer's GFM - €8,298 / €50K target

Mohamed Fayez - @rubafayez

His family is in desperate need after being displaced and losing their livelihoods. Last donation was 17 days ago.

Mohamed's GFM - $10 USD / $40K target

Reem Alajrami - @reem-alajrami

She is a widow who helped raise her children and grandchildren. She has a hard time being able to provide for her grandchildren's' needs. Her campaign has been very slow and needs all the support she can get.

vetted by gazavetters (#247) and 90-ghost

Reem's GFM - €902 / €5K target

Abdallah Mousa - @abdallah-gaza

Abdallah has been struggling to raise his campaign for many months now. He created his GFM since July and he has not even reach 10k yet. Abdallah also keeps getting shadow banned, which makes it more difficult for him to get the reach he needs.

vetted by 90-ghost and gaza evacuation funds #315

Abdallah's GFM - $3,297 USD / $30K goal

Safa Kamal - @safaahmaed

Five months before the war. She got married to Ahmed Kamal. They were blessed with a beautiful son. Little Kamal. her husband used to own a wedding dress rental, Five Stars. Now, their building was bombed. Safa and her family now suffer from illness and skin disease because of pollution.

vetted by a-shade-of-blue on Nov 3rd

Safa's GFM - €1,438 / €60K goal

Hossam Hamdan - prev @hossamhamdan90

Hossam has a foot injury because of a near by bombing. until now he still can not get the treatment he needs. His account was deleted by tumblr. Unvetted but donations are protected.

I made a post about Hossam here

Hossam's GFM - $6,571 USD / $35K goal

Update: 2024/12/02

I deeply apologize, it turns out that Mohammed Fayez @rubafayez is vetted by el-shab-hussein, nabulsi, and 90-ghost.

#free palestine #boost #tumblr polls #go fund me #fire emblem #fe3h #edelgard von hresvelg #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #claude von riegan #yuri leclerc #i stand with palestine #palestine gfm

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followerofmercyart · 1 year ago

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Sovereign the Dragon, god of destruction

#fomart #yuri and the ten months #sovereign the dragon

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frozenartscapes · 1 year ago

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I think the thing I’m most excited for (and what I hope actually gets explored) in Spy x Family isn’t so much the drama of the secrets being revealed - I’m excited for what comes after.

Imagine that sort of awkward transition stage where everyone is getting used to this new normal. Loid and Yor are tiptoeing around each other, not really sure what to make of their partner who has been lying their ass off the whole time. They’re both kinda mad about it, but also can’t really find too much fault because they’ve been doing the same thing themselves. Imagine a montage of all the Not Normal things both of them are guilty of and the both of them having a “ooooohhh that makes more sense now” moment.

But then treading into angsty territory: say their missions align or something and they have to work through the fact that their partner is not a civilian. Loid constantly ordering Yor to get back and take cover, throwing his arm up to shield her, but then Yor ducks around him and takes down, like, ten armed guys before he can even blink. Yor having a mini war in her head between Yor Forger and the Thorn Princess, because the Thorn Princess has a damn job to do but Yor Forger is constantly fretting about Loid and what he must think of her and if she’s still a good mom for Anya when she just skewered a grunt’s head so hard his skull exploded. It results in neither of them being on top of their game and eventually having to work through their issues before succeeding (maybe whilst tied up back to back in a holding cell or something).

But then there’s this sort of relief? For Loid especially, because suddenly it’s not just him protecting this family. He knew Yor was good at keeping Anya safe, but before it was as an insanely lucky civilian who’s very good at “yoga”. Now… He knows that it would take something monumental to take Yor down. Anything less than that and she’s walking away covered in blood that’s not hers. There’s this sense of safety that starts to bubble up, which is strange, because it should be the opposite. Yor’s one of the most dangerous assassins in the country - hell in both countries - and yet Agent “I don’t trust anyone” Twilight has complete faith in her.

Meanwhile, Yor’s feeling more validated in months because even after learning Loid/Twilight’s biggest secret…he’s still here. He didn’t just pack up and leave in the middle of the night the way spies do whenever they are compromised. And he learned about her and yet he stayed. He included her in on his schemes. And suddenly living together is just…so much easier. She doesn’t have to sneak out in the middle of the night or hide her injuries. She doesn’t feel ashamed any time her incredible strength slips through. She doesn’t feel like she has to lie to everyone - she has Loid to talk to now. She’s never had someone who knows but who also isn’t a Garden agent themselves. And with him being a spy there’s a level of understanding of the job that makes it really easy to be open about it. Probably to a worrying degree, but Yor trusts Loid with her life despite him being a foreign spy.

And then there’s the question of the degree at which the secret’s out. Do they know about Anya? Does Anya know? (Or more specifically, do they know that Anya knows?) (Anya comes home one day and overhears them talking about spy/assassin stuff and after months of being exhausted trying to help them keep both secrets she just sighs really loudly, “FINALLY!” Only to then be questioned on how she knew.) Would Yuri or Franky find out? Garden or WISE? But it would be fun in there’s a little while where the family knows about each other, the three (four including Bond) having a wonderful little stretch of time where the first true test of their trust for each other is passed with flying colours. (Enough for a Stella Star, even!)

#ok but imagine yor and loid finding out about the reason anya matched them up together #spy x family #future plot ideas #dammit i already have too many fic ideas from one fandom and now I'm starting another?#loid forger #yor forger #anya forger

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stellar-constellations · 1 year ago

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An Alliance (part 1)

Fem! Spy! (Y/N) x Yuri Briar

Parts: Current part, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten (to be continued when Spy x Family has more Yuri content!)

(Y/N) is given her own backstory that is important for the story!

The setting for this story is based off West and East Germany's (because Spy x Family is heavily based off Germany in the 1940-1950) laws (or at least replicated to the best of my abilities since it's unknown what time period Spy x Family is exactly in, we'll go with 1950 for the sake of this story).

Historically-accurate women misogyny and mistreatment! Only small comments and historically-accurate laws (replicated to the best of my ability).

The story, plot, and settings might not match up to the Spy x Family manga as it's not completed and the manga is still being crafted.

This series contains spoilers for the manga and anime!

Almost three months ago, I was caught as a Westalis spy. I found out I was ratted by a fellow spy and because of it, I was in the hands of the Secret Police, where I met the second-lieutenant, Yuri Briar.

“Tell me, what information have you given to WISE?” the man in charge of interrogating me spoke.

“I told you, I didn’t do anything.” I affirmed, my eyes tired from all the fake crying I had to previously do.

What's it been? Two hours now? I'm pretty fed up of this.

“I’m sorry for whatever I did to gain your mens' attention, but I swear I’m not a spy.” I pushed.

I’m lying. A spy lies all the time. Though I hate to lie, it’s necessary to help create peace between the two sides; or at least to the best of our abilities.

“I’ll ask you for the last time... What did you tell Westalis?!” he shouted, slamming his hand on the table.

I fake-jumped, the handcuffs on my wrists clacking together as my eyes widen.

“I didn’t tell them nothing. I only lived there for some time, then the war struck and my home was destroyed so I moved here. I was born a (birth country) civilian but I’ve lived here in Ostania since I was ten.” I explained, letting out a cough from how sore my throats been with all this fake crying, shouting, and screaming of my proclaimed “innocence.”

"I ain't got time for this. My shift was over a quarter ago; I'm going home." The man sighed.

The man stood up from his chair as did the transcriber in the corner of the room.

I was left in the room for a good thirty minutes, keeping my posture slightly tense and observant as I looked around the room.

If there's any cameras, they'd be looking for any signs of guilt in my body language. Acting too careless or neutral would make it appear that I don't understand the gravity of the situation, or that I'm playing too natural and collected which would be suspicious. Being too tense would give away any signs of anxiety or panic at the possibility of being caught. If I look around the room too much, they'd believe that I would be searching for cameras and microphones which wouldn't look good for an innocent person; but if I'm not checking my surroundings, it could lead them to the impression that I've been in these interrogation rooms before under suspicion of espionage.

A knock on the metal door was heard, pulling me out of my thoughts as the door opened.

“Excuse me, I’ll be taking over from here. Your previous interrogator had to go home.” A young man spoke as he stepped into the room.

He couldn’t have been any younger or older than me by two years. He had deep black hair and piercing red eyes. He almost seemed innocent with those large eyes, that was until I noticed how the atmosphere in the room changed.

Suddenly, it didn't quit feel like I was in control of the situation.

He looks easy to fool. I thought to myself.

I remained quiet as I watched him close the door, walking into the chair the other guy previously sat in.

"Hello... (Y/N), right?" he asked, setting his hat down on the table and taking a seat across from me.

"Yeah." I confirmed, feeling heart raise as I stared at him, stopping myself from sounding meek so he doesn't get any information on me.

It's just cause he's a new interrogator, I thought.

I memorized the previous one's body language and go-to patterns, I can figure out this one's too. I'll stick with my same backstory I gave the other man. I need to be calm but angry too, detectives use special techniques such as that new American Reid technique to extract information from people of interest; they'll be studying my body language, tone, words, and mannerisms. Leaving me alone for so long was one of the steps they've used in the technique.

I'll admit, I was impressed at how young this guy was. I was also impressed that he pronounced my name correctly despite it not even originating from Germany, but instead in (your name’s origin).

"It's a pretty name—from (your name’s origin), correct?" he smiled, causing me to internally squirm in my seat, unsettled at his knowledge and hospitality.

That other man was screaming orders and demands at me, and here this guy is, bothering to know where my name originates from.

"Yeah... My mom wanted a unique name; I supposed all mothers want something that stands out." I replied truthfully.

To create a flawless lie, you must also dab in the truth. Be detailed, but not too detailed. Create eye-contact and don't slip up on your words.

"I see. And where is your mom now?" he questioned.

"She's dead..." I muttered, looking away from him, forcing myself to bite my tongue.

It was a sour memory, my tone was truthful. I'd be seen as peculiar if I didn't show any emotions talking about my dead loved ones, spy or not.

"And your dad?" he asked.

"Same..." I muttered dully, taking in a deep breath.

"I'm sorry about your parents. Do you have any siblings?" he questioned.

"Well, I did." I scowled, showing my dislike for him and his questions.

Remember, not too hostile. That was teetering the edge...

He ignored my glare and smiled.

"I can assume the same as your parents?" he spoke.

"You can." I sighed, a weak attempt to cool down.

I need to control my emotions, otherwise I'll slip up. Remember, no connections to your past.

"So, you were born in (your country of origin), what brought you to Ostania?" he asked.

"I was born in (your country of origin), then my family and I moved to Westalis when I was six. Then the war broke out, the bombs and all, and my family died except for me. I was found in the rubble, then I made my way into the Westalis army. During the war, I got injured and was forced to step down. Eventually, I made my way here to get away from the war since I heard there wasn't any bombings going on, supposed to be more peaceful." I explained, forcing myself to avoid eye contact since it wouldn't help me think.

"You have to understand though, that doesn't make me a spy! I came here to get away from the war, the bombings, the threats, and all this crap here. I just want to live a peaceful life in Ostania for as long as I can." I concluded.

"That's very unfortunate." The man frowned. "I'm sorry you had to go through something like that. How old were you when your parents died?"

"I was seven." I explained.

"And you're...?" he paused, waiting for me to verify.

"Twenty." I confirmed.

"We're close in age." He smiled. "How come you decided to stay inside of Europe? Move into Ostania whilst in the middle of a war, nonetheless? You could've went to the United States or something." he questioned.

"I didn't want to learn a new language. Since I was young when I moved here, it was easier for me to adapt to the language since I was growing up and learning it with other kids my age trying to write and speak it too." I explained.

"I see. I'm sorry for what you've had to go through growing up, I really wish it wasn't as bad as it is here; however I'm afraid I cannot do much on my own." The male flashed an empathetic smile, like he lived what I lived. "It's sad for you to have gone through so much so young."

"You're around my age and you're in this type of business." I pointed out.

He smiled, his eyes too squinted and his smile too big to be friendly. It was dangerously sinister, too sinister even for me.

"This type of business? You make serving and protecting our country sound distasteful. What negative things have you heard, Miss (L/N)?" he questioned, leaning his head on his gloved-palm.

He opened his eyes and lowered his smile, yet the smile was still present.

This lighting makes him look absolutely terrifying. I thought, suppressing the urge to swallow my fear, yet I had no control of how my hands and legs started to tremble. But also...kind of attractive, I supposed...?

"You're the Secret Police, right? I hear you guys torture anyone who doesn't give you what information you want. Anyone can report someone as a suspected spy at any time, and they'll be brought here to be tortured for 'treason' and such. Even women who aren't married after 25 are suspected to be spies and that's completely ridiculous! You do know that the Salem Witch Trials in 1692 happened to have many innocents meet their demise, just because they were blamed, because some people didn't like them or were jealous? Some even put others to their death for entertainment! Do you see a pattern?" I questioned.

"And where did you hear this? About the Secret Police?" he asked.

"You hear it all over. The new gossip in the office, what's on the daily newspaper, and even on our TV's. It's happening right now, in this very room." I sneered.

"That's just word on the street." The man spoke, doing his best to keep his poker face as he ignored my last comment.

I could tell he wanted to get mad, frown at me, maybe even yell, but he kept up his good-cop act.

"The war was originally word on the street too—look where we are now." I retorted. "And you wanna know something else? Despite all the bad things I've said about Ostania so far, Ostania is just as bad as Westalis.

"How so?" he huffed, a scowl on his face as his manipulatively cocky smile was immediately wiped from his face, losing his composure.

"I've been on both sides of this war. I can guarantee to you that Ostania is censoring its newspapers and screens so their people don't know what it's really like—just like Westalis did. Hell, probably even still doing. You work for the State Security Service, but the SSS works for the government—you're not the ones getting information when it first comes out. You gobble up what lies and little white truths they give you." I explained, leaning closer to him on the desk to further emphasis my point. "You're just a pawn in this game of chess. Me and you hold no power to the big guys up there, but just as the word on the street says; once you get captured by the SSS, there's no coming back. Guilty or innocent, the scale is rigged."

His fingers drummed at the desk angrily as he closed his eyes and knitted his eyebrows. I savored the sight of this. The frustration of a Ostanian officer, weak and forced to believe my words for this interrogation, but doubt them too. All the second-thoughts flashing through his face as he wonders if I'm right or if I'm screwing with him.

"If that's how you see it, then I supposed I'd have to accept it." He sighed roughly, intertwining his gloved fingers together. "Enough of that. Tell me all the jobs you've worked."

"I worked at a bakery when I was six, then the Westalis army at seven, moved here and had a mix of delivering newspapers and working in pet shops as an assistant when I was ten. I got a waitressing gig at eleven and kept it until I was nineteen. Finally, I started working at a local bakery down my street." I explained.

"So, why did you accept being recruited into the Westalis army?" he questioned.

It seems like we're running in circles. I thought to myself, mentally sighing. We've already gotten past that bit.

"There wasn't really anywhere I could go without needing money. I also wanted to give justice to my family and siblings; you would too, wouldn't you?" I questioned.

"Yes. I have an older sister and I love her dearly. It's why I do this job, so I can understand where you're coming from. Do you have an older sister too?" he asked.

"Yes. An older sister, an older brother, and two younger brothers. Believe it or not, but we were at each others' throats every chance we could get. But I never did get to tell them that despite all of our fights and bickering, they were my family and I love them." I explained, forcing myself to look away from the male as tears started to distort my vision.

"It's always important to tell them that when you still have them, yeah?" he smiled.

I nodded, not having the strength to look up. There's no way I'm going to cry in front of this bastard.

"Yeah, and—fortunately for you—the files we've been given have matched up to everything you've been saying and more. There's really nothing left." The second-lieutenant spoke. "I'm sorry for having my co-workers drag you here, but it's protocol."

"It's cool. I can understand." I sighed, not exactly believing that the interview was over.

There's no way it's over. Every spy that's been captured by the Secret Police has never been seen again, even innocent people on the streets haven't been seen again either! I really doubt I'd be the first (guilty, but even if I was innocent [that'd be an accomplishment itself]) person to actually walk free from the SSS—as much as I'd like for that to happen.

I waited for any movement from him, waited for him to grab his hat and walk out, waited for him to speak again, anything really. But he just sat there, smiling at me, like he knew something I didn't, and I'm starting to become pretty certain he does.

"Are you going to uncuff me?" I questioned.

His smile seemed to brightened yet darken at the same time, how he did that, I have no idea.

"I'm glad you asked; but you see Miss (L/N), unfortunately I can't let you go."

I sighed, knowing that I was going to get caught one way or another.

"And the reason why is...?" I paused, impatiently waiting for the answer.

Luckily, he didn't let me ponder about it for long.

"While you're innocent, you're still guilty." He answered.

"But you just said I'm innocent. Innocence until proven guilty, correct?" I huffed, getting frustrated.

"Yes, but that's not how it works around here. See, I'm going to have to leave soon for my next interrogation, but I know there's more to your story." He spoke, no smile on his face.

"You said my backstory covers everything!" I exclaimed.

"I did—from what you told me, that is." He explained. "(Y/N) (L/N) age twenty. A spy from Westalis. Code name is Vixen. Moved from (country of origin) to Westalis for your father's promotion at six. Served for three years in the Westalis army at seven. Got recruited to be a spy at ten, then went on missions for a decade—until now, that is." He explained. "Very impressive how WISE can implant work reports in company files, but the calligraphy is wrong. We would've never found out if the store owner didn't drop dead halfway through your employment at that local bakery you speak of. The owner's daughter took over and started writing the work reports, yet your reports remained with the same handwriting from the previous owner."

Damn it, I really can't fix that at all. Some in the letter forgery department was lacking—or slacking—information for the bakery. I thought.

"I don't think you understand what type of spy I am. I'm a peacemaker spy! I stop terrorist attacks, threats from Ostania and Westalis, assassination attempts for the government. Hell, I even helped stop another nuclear bomb that would've killed at least 500,000 people in Hugaria!" I shouted.

"So you admit to being a spy now?" he taunts me with a smile.

"I—" I paused, realizing what I said.

Well, no going back now.

"Yes!" I groaned. "You were right, ya happy?" I aggressively huffed.

"I'm glad we could come to an agreement, but you know, I'm a little sad now." The man spoke with fake sadness. "I was starting to develop a soft spot for you since you were so honest... for the most part."

"Bite me." I rolled my eyes.

"We don't usually do that in our sessions." He stood up from his seat and stalking towards me.

Torture sessions... I thought to myself, feeling a sense of dread creep up me that I tried to push down.

My heartbeat's rhythm became louder and irregular, it boomed in my chest and as blood rushed past my ears, hearing a slight ringing in them.

"If you're planning on killing me, I don't think you'd find much pleasure in it. I'm trained not to give reaction to punishment, no matter how severe." I claimed, fighting the urge to wiggle in my chair for a fruitless attempt of escaping, but it'd just make me look more pathetic then I do already.

"I have a few tricks up my sleeves." He smiled.

"It doesn't matter if you kill me or not. Westalis will still prevail just like Ostania will. My death will have no meaning to Westalis' or your victory to this war." I stated.

"I'm aware. We weren't really looking to killing you—or locking you up in a cellar either.... even though I believe we should..." he whispered that last part to himself like I couldn't hear it.

"This isn't gonna turn into a low-budget porno if that's what you're thinking." I deadpanned.

"I wasn't thinking of that either; but I'm flattered." He chuckled.

I rolled my eyes, my skin flushed yet I was thankful that he agreed with me.

"So what are you planning on doing with me?" I questioned.

"Well since you're so curious, I guess I can ruin the surprise." He spoke. "You were right when you said you're a peacemaker spy. In fact, there's not enough reasons for me to even put you in jail or on death sentence since your good deeds outweigh the bad. I was told to make a deal with you for my boss. I can keep you out of the troubles of being a spy (or ending up dead) if you become an SSS agent."

"And if I don't accept?" I questioned.

"Death sentence; but that's not exactly favorable, now is it?" he smiled.

"Okay... What exactly am I doing?" I questioned, a slight distaste in my mouth.

"Well. It's always nice to have information on the Westalis spies. It'd also be nice for someone to listen to bugged rooms and watch interrogation videos. I could finally get the sleep I've been needing—it's hard when your coworkers are being killed off by spies or quitting." He sighed dramatically. "Oh, you'll live with a SSS agent too, supervision 24/7 so you don't try any funny business."

"You never mentioned I'd living with someone." I huffed, crossing my legs since I couldn't cross my arms with my hands still in cuffs.

"We have to make sure you're not getting into any trouble, remember?" he smiled triumphally.

I'm starting to realize that I hate this guy's stupid smile.

"Who will I stay with?" I questioned

"Eh, who knows." He smiled, shrugging his shoulders carelessly.

I resisted the urge to grit my teeth and come up with something sarcastic to say. Instead, I bit my tongue and dug my nails into my palms as I sighed and huffed out a "fine."

"Good! I know we're going to get along just fine around here." His smile deepened as I resisted the urge to run away.

He leaned down and unlocked the handcuffs on my wrists, his eyes just daring me to do something stupid and see the consequences.

“When you say information on the Westalis spies, are you referring to me committing treason on my own job?” I questioned. “I don’t see how that’s any different from treason on the country. I’m quite confused on your views of morals and justice.” I sighed.

“Then let me dumb it down for you.” He sighed. “I want to make this country a better place for my sister to live in, but with scum such as yourself and the Westalis spies, it makes it harder to do so.”

“Are you sure insulting me is going to make me want to cooperate with you? Because I don’t work in places with workplace abuse.” I deadpanned.

“You’re a spy; it’s nothing you can’t handle.” He smiled.

Yeah, I want to punch that damn smile off his face.

“Follow me, we’re going to go to the Director and inform him of our contract. Stay close to me and don’t wander off. If you try anything stupid then our contract will be breached and you can say goodbye to your ‘peaceful Ostanian life.’” The man explained.

I clicked my tongue get nodded my head, showing that I agree. We exited the interrogation room and started walking down a dim hallway. The hallway had other doors connected to it with windows and I could see other people being interrogated. Some were being yelled at, others were being either punched or tortured.

I’m surprised I didn’t get that kind of treatment. It’s probably since I’m a woman.

Living in 1950 in Ostania, it hasn’t even been 40 years (32 years, to be exact) since women officially gained voting rights, and even then, we don't even have equal rights! We can't work outside of our house without our husband's permission. With the war going on now, our rights have been pushed to the side and the main focus for women now is to take care of the kids. Even with our husband's permission, it’s still rare for women to be working in "men dominated" places such as the military, police, mechanic shops, and more.

“Take your hands out of your pocket; you look suspicious.” The man spoke.

“Like I don’t already look suspicious, I’m the only woman here and I’m not wearing a uniform.” I spoke, rolling my eyes. “You boss me around a lot. If you’re going to be lecturing me, at least tell me your name, sir.”

“That’s not an option at the moment. If you want to find out, you’re going to have to earn it.” He spoke.

“So what do I call out when dinner’s ready?” I spoke, sassy and sarcastic at the same time.

“Sir has been working so far.” He hummed.

“Whatever…” I rolled my eyes, ignoring the heat on my face as I followed him without question.

He opened a door, at least having the human decency to hold the door open for me. I stepped aside and waited for him, ignoring the stares of the men in uniform. The man lead us to a dark oak door and stopped in front of it. He knocked on the door, then waited.

“Enter.” A voice from behind the door called out.

The man opened the door again, letting me walk in before closing the door behind us. A man was seated at a desk, the Ostanian flag standing next to him as I looked at the man. He was old and wearing sunglasses…indoors?

Weirdo. I thought.

He stood up straight and saluted, “Director.”

“Second-lieutenant. And this is…?” the boss spoke, waiting for the questions to be answered.

“(Y/N) (L/N). Otherwise known as Vixen, the Spy from the West.” He spoke.

“Ah, yes. So, you’ve agreed?” the Director questioned.

“Yeah...” I muttered hesitantly, shoving my hands in my pockets.

It was short-lived as the younger man next to me quickly—and roughly—smacked my arm, making me sigh and take my hands out of my pockets.

“I see. Come sit down in front of me.” The Director invited, but I could tell it was an order.

I bit the inside of my cheek yet obliged, crossing my legs and arms. Second-lieutenant walked over and stopped at my side, side-eyeing me as he made sure I wouldn’t do anything bad.

I mentally rolled my eyes and waited for the Director to speak.

“Sign this contract here on the line.” The Director settled a heavy packet in on the desk as he flipped three pages and pointed.

“What am I signing it for?” I questioned.

“Just to show that you’ve agreed to our contract.” The Director smiled.

I glared daggers at him, rudely snatching the packet from the desk, flipping back to the first page and carefully reading each line to make sure I’m not signing something I don’t agree to.

“I don’t agree with this.” I said, pointing at a line in the packet.

“What aren’t you agreeing with?” The younger male asked.

He bent down and got in my personal bubble to read the page. I rolled my eyes at his closeness, ignoring the anxiety of my heart as I moved the paper a little closer to him.

“I don’t agree with ‘disclosing all of the Westalis secrets, including names, locations, meet-up places, and missions.’” I spoke.

“Hm, and why is that? Are you expecting to return?” The Director's face darkened as did the unknown male.

“No.” I rolled my eyes for what seemed to be the billionth time.

Maybe...

“I’m in debt to some of the people there, so there’s some information I can’t spill.” I explained.

“Is your life worth those secrets?” the young male spat out harshly.

“I wouldn’t be here discussing this contract with you if it wasn’t for them.” I spat back, twice as passionate in my anger as he was with his.

His red eyes rivaled my own as we glared daggers at each other.

The Director chuckled and spoke: "Okay, we can cross that line out."

"What? We're the ones making orders here!" the second-lieutenant complained.

"You can't expect someone to cooperate with us if they don't get any benefits. This can't be two-sided." The Director spoke.

"They get to live!" the second-lieutenant hissed through his teeth.

"She's not the only person that could die from this contract too." The Director chuckled, then rested his face on his palms. "Our contract will be built on trust and communication. We'll give you information from the Secret Police that we see fit to give you, and you give us information about WISE that you see fit to give."

The second-lieutenant spluttered nonsense, exaggerating hand and body motivations as he tried forming words to complain.

"Do we have a problem, second-lieutenant?" the Director darkly spoke.

"Ack!" the second-lieutenant jumped in the air. "N-no, sir." He muttered, looking over to side-eye me.

I stuck out my tongue at him, proud of my small victory (if you can even call it that). In response, he glared at me again, fire in his obnoxiously vibrant red eyes.

"Here, sign this." The Director spoke, grabbing a different paper. "This one is our agreement that you're under our—the SSS'—care and protection for as long as you don't break our contract." The Director pointed to a blank line. "Make sure you add your full first and last name."

"Okay..." I muttered, writing my full legal name down on the paper.

"Great. Now, second-lieutenant, you write your full legal name here." The Director pointed to a line next to my name.

The second-lieutenant hesitantly signed the paper with no questions.

"Great. Here's your marriage certificate." The Director spoke.

I choked on air as the second-lieutenant screamed at the top of his lungs in distress and rage.

"NO WAY! GIVE ME THAT PAPER!" he screamed, lunging over the desk in a fruitless attempt to grab the packet and rip it to shreds.

"YEAH MAN! WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM TRICKING US LIKE THAT?" I screamed.

"Calm down. It's a cover for you two." The Director calmly spoke.

"COVER FOR WHAT?!" We both screamed, slamming our hands on the desk.

"(Y/N) is still legally a spy, and you, second-lieutenant, are still a member of the Secret Police. The government doesn't know that our methods are... frowned upon. And she previously lived in Westalis, so she's already in danger from just that. If (Y/N) is exposed to be a spy to our government, we may just be able to dig her out of that hole. And by we, I mean you, second-lieutenant." The Director spoke, using the lieutenant's low rank in a harsh mannerism.

Of course they're frowned upon, you're forcing innocent people to admit to being spies by beating the crap outta them. I thought, resisting the urge to roll my eyes as I bit my cheek instead to keep quiet.

"Whose gonna find out?" the second-lieutenant deadpanned.

"Traitors." The Director sighed. "Do you think that all of the members of the SSS are really focused on keeping our country safe? For all we know, me or you could be a spy too."

I feel attacked. I thought to myself.

"Wait. There's spies inside of our forces?!" the younger male exclaimed, shocked.

"Are you stupid? 'Course there are!" I spat out harshly.

"Shut it!" he hissed.

"Of course there is, just like there's members of the SSS in the Westalis spies." The Director spoke.

"What?!" I exclaimed in my own shock.

"What are you? Stupid?" the second-lieutenant mimicked.

"You shut it!" I hissed back.

"Now, now. Let's not try to kill each other just yet. We have many things to discuss about, but let's save that for later. For now, let's get the living situations settled." The Director spoke. "Second-lieutenant, follow (Y/N) to her home and help pack her things. She'll be living with you."

"I never consented to this marriage." The second-lieutenant deadpanned, looking at the Director, then me.

"What wife would she be if you two didn't live together?" The Director smiled.

The man mumbled grips under his breath, another one being "still didn't consent."

"I have the papers right here with your signature in permeant ink." The Director smugly smiled as I chuckled in disbelief.

Me and this guy? We're not going to get along at all.

"Aw, don't be too happy about it, sweetheart. To be honest, this will be my first time too." I sarcastically cooed, blushing as placing my hands on my face to add more of a dramatic effect.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT, YOU TRAITOROUS WITCH!" he screamed loudly, pointing a finger at me.

"OI! DON'T CALL ME A TRAITOROUS WITCH! I'M BEING FORCED TO WORK AND LIVE WITH YOU!"I screamed back.

"I HATE YOU, BRAT!" he screamed.

"DON'T CALL ME BRAT EITHER, YOU MUTT!" I screamed back.

"You guys are acting like me and my wife already." The Director happily—and depressingly—sighed, causing me and the mutt to look at each other.

"The day I call him my husband is the day I get executed!" I exclaimed.

"The day I call her my wife is the day a nuke drops on Ostania!" the second-lieutenant exclaimed.

"Well, then get ready you two, because that day may just come sooner than you think." The Director sighed, causing the two of us to go quiet and stare at each other hatefully.

Parts: Current part, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten (to be continued when Spy x Family has more Yuri content!)

Want more Yuri content? Check out the Yuri Briar Masterlist!

Have any requests? Check my masterlist to see the characters I write for: Masterlist (Please request, I have too much free time and too little fics).

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agalychnisspranneusroseus · 4 months ago

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More on my "marcanne counts as toxic yuri" agenda because what if Marcy's plan WORKED.

She succeeded at keeping her friends trapped in Amphibia with her. Whatever happened with Andrias never reached the point of interdimensional invasions, cyborg possesions or child murder. He never got to tell Anne and Sasha the truth.

The music box is destroyed. Our three girls remain trapped in Amphibia for years and years after Andrias. Maybe Lady Olivia takes him place. Marcy continues to work as the crown's Chief Ranger, Sasha becomes master of the South Toad Tower and Anne works as some sort of councelor between all three species, traveling around Amphibia to help people solve conflicts. She visits the Plantars every week to lend a hand at the farm and just be with them, but most of the time she lives in Newtopia now, with Marcy. She married Marcy.

So now they're in their 20s and they all have their lives there. It was hard at first - their only hope to go back home and see their families was crushed before their eyes. Anne had it worst, crying herself to sleep for months, horrified to know she'd never see her family again. Sasha tried to be strong, but she could usually be seen crying alongside Anne out of sheer desperation. Processing their grief took them years.

But that wasn't the case for Marcy. Anne thought she just had her own way of dealing with grief, that she needed time, but as the years passed, Marcy never showed any sign of even missing Earth or her family. In fact, she was happier in Amphibia than she'd ever been back home. Anne would love to know why.

But Anne and Sasha both found their happiness in time. They were young and had their whole life ahead of them. To Marcy, it all just seems so perfect. She was right, right? She gave her friends something wonderful. She made their lives unquestionably better! Everything they have now - she gave it to them! Their friendship is now stronger than ever and she even married her favorite girl in this world and the next!

But maybe this girl is growing suspicios, because the ten year anniversary of their arrival to Amphibia is nearing and both she and Sasha are suddenly hit all over again with the utter horror of their situation, and Anne though she'd see something, anything coming from her wife now. Sasha agrees - she got her psychology degree at the University of Newtopia, okay? She knows what she's talking about. This isn't just a "Marcy needs time" kind of issue - not missing her family at all after 10 years - not even feeling a little bit of worry knowing they probably think their daughter is dead or worse - is something to be looked into, but whenever they ask, Marcy insists on how great her life in Amphibia is, how she knows her parents would want her to be happy, so even if they don't know it, she's living the life they would want for her, isn't she? Wouldn't her parents want her to live a happy life?

...yeah, they both call bullshit.

Sasha must return to Toad Tower at dawn after the little anniversary ceremony they hold between the three of them every year. Despite all of them having their different missions and responsabilities, no matter what's going on in their lives at that moment, they make the time to meet for their birthdays, particularly Anne's, for obvious reasons. It breaks Anne's heart a little to think all the birthdays she has left will be only bittersweet, but she tries to smile regardless - she has a new family with the Plantars, her friendship with Sasha has never been this healthy and strong, and she's married to the girl of her dreams. If she's honest to herself, she is happy. Really happy. But inside her happiness there would always be a small but persistent seed of grief.

Marcy is late this year. She has never been late before - and it's less understandable considering this year's ceremony takes place in her own palace. Joe Sparrow is perched outside, so she shouldn't be far. She arrives two hours too late looking nervous and disheveled, hand pressed against her heart, but she quickly draws a wide smile and hugs both her friends, beginning a new ramble to update Sasha on her projects and research. Sasha, bless her heart, listens to her every word and lets herself be distracted by everything Marcy has to say, but Anne can see right through her. She notices Marcy avoiding her gaze, she sees her fidgeting, she hears the high-pitched strain in her voice. Sasha sees them only a few times a month these days, so she wouldn't notice like Anne does.

After Sasha leaves and Marcy falls asleep, she has to make a decision: ask the guards whether or not Marcy had visited him, or trust her wife and oldest friend that she wouldn't. Ha! She can't imagine why she would! What a stupid idea, why would Marcy want to see him after what he'd done to her? What did he even have to offer? She has two huge vertical scars marring her body, one on her chest and one down her back. Her memory of him is one of the few things that keep her up at night out of utter and complete pain. Nonsense. She wouldn't betray Anne's trust like that. She wouldn't.

She falls asleep by her side and by the time she wakes up, Marcy is gone, sneaking out to frog knows where again.

#amphibia #marcanne #anne boonchuy #marcy wu #sasha waybright #my posts

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cantareincminor · 2 months ago

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Round 2: Fandom Wrapped (Writer Edition) 2024!

Thanks again to @kattyelf for the template. A blank one can be found at @twiyorbase for anyone who wants to do their own!

Detailed reflections under the cut.

This is a long, introspective post. Forgive me if I sound self-absorbed in all this reflection.

The past year has been a unique one. The last long fic I completed was more than ten years ago in the Aladdin fandom. I dabbled in shorter, more stream-of-consciousness fics after that, but hadn’t written or posted a fic since 2016. Then I got into Spy x Family in 2022, devoured tons of fics, and slowly, nervously considered writing again.

There were many reasons I stopped writing. Being busy with real life responsibilities, naturally. I got married and had kids. I had a highly stressful career. With so little time on my hands, I feared that if I tried to write after such a long hiatus, the result would be stilted and disappointing, and I would have “wasted” my precious free time feeling shittier about myself. I’ve had some version of this mindset my entire life: if I can’t do something well, then I shouldn’t bother.

I have @whateversawesome to thank for encouraging me to try my hand at writing again. After the mole hunt arc was published, an idea struck me quite suddenly—what if Yuri had died or been critically injured in Shellbury? How would Twilight deal with that guilt and how would the identity reveals unfurl in such an extreme scenario? Could Yor ever forgive him?

For months I shied away from writing it. To do the idea justice, I knew it would have to be a long, complex fic. And I continued to have mixed feelings about my last long fic in the Aladdin fandom—regretting parts of the premise and the ship dynamics and the characterizations and just overall feeling ashamed about my writing. I didn’t want to fail—write myself into a corner and abandon the fic or something like that. Right now, on the other end, I still look back on Orpheus sometimes and wonder how the hell I managed to write it. I reread my favorite passages and wonder how I came up with those exact words.

If it may help any writers, I would be happy to share a copy of my brainstorming doc and outline of Orpheus, where I kept track of unresolved plot points, options to resolve those plot points, notes to self to go back and add foreshadowing, and calling out unexpected events in each chapter that I did not plan ahead for. It is a very long doc. But I wanted to remember everything I was thinking at the time as a gift to my future self, in case I ever attempt a big project like this again and feel paralyzed.

Orpheus allowed me to explore themes and beliefs I suppose have been marinating in my heart for years. For anyone who is still interested, below are some of my thoughts and personal experiences around the main themes.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness and redemption are always what I reach for in my serious fics. I think I fumbled it in my Aladdin fic (or didn’t really get to the redemption part), but I was able to explore it more thoroughly and with more integrity in Orpheus, with an additional decade of life experience.

I think forgiveness is a difficult and fascinating theme to handle because it is so highly personal and often carries memories of deep hurt for ‘victims’ or shame for ‘perpetrators’. I was grateful when readers sometimes shared their personal beliefs and experiences with it in their comments. In order to treat this theme with respect, I wanted to convey that forgiveness should not come cheaply. That is not to say it’s bad to be merciful and quick to forgive—those are amazing virtues. But the act of forgiveness comes at a cost and can be incredibly painful. The cost does not simply vanish due to good feelings or an act of the will.

Someone can either withhold forgiveness and make the other person pay the cost—in Orpheus, this would have been Yor rejecting or taking revenge on Twilight and leaving him to feel horribly guilty about Yuri’s injury for the rest of his life. Or they can choose to forgive and pay the cost themselves. In my own experience it feels physically painful. It feels like extreme grief. This is what I wanted to portray, the devastation to the spirit, as well as the catharsis that can follow. Because after the cost is paid, what we gain is healing. The ability to move on and no longer feel like we’ve swallowed glass. And the mending of a relationship, if both sides are willing. In the case of Yor and Twilight, it makes their relationship even stronger, like a broken bone healing stronger than before. And it adds weight to the trials they would face together after that moment.

Forgiveness of self / Perfectionism

Of all the conflicts in the fic, “Twilight vs. himself” is the last one to be resolved. Even after the man has been forgiven by the people he loves, he still struggles not to hate himself. To find his life to hold any value outside of being a highly competent spy. I think many people go through some version of this struggle. I certainly did and still do sometimes, with regards to work and career.

I chose Orpheus as the title to illustrate the journey of someone who carries an enormous burden on their shoulders. Trying to save the person they love and having to follow a strict rule of never turning around or they will lose it all. All the while, the temptation to look back is incredibly powerful. Twilight bears the burden of WISE’s expectations as their top spy, the hero who has stopped nuclear missile launches, who will supposedly prevent the next war from breaking out. He also carries the expectations of his newfound family which call him to turn away from the ruthlessness of his mission. To look back at them, and not abandon them for the sake of world peace. And finally he carries the guilt of what happened to Yuri, and the pain of keeping all the secrets resulting from Shellbury.

In Orpheus, Twilight harbors both a very low sense of self-worth as well as a highly inflated sense of self-importance. He sees himself as a discardable tool who has done unforgivable things for his missions, with no right to love and be loved. But at the same time he sees himself as the lynchpin to maintaining the fragile geopolitical peace. Responsible for never screwing up, ever. Responsible for the fact Yuri was shot, even though he tried his best to spare him. He’s an unreliable, self-absorbed narrator, and the other characters around him also parrot his guilt back at him throughout most of the fic. Until the end, where I try to address the illusion of control and how a good portion of his guilt is unrealistic and undeserved.

Unfortunately for many people who carry this kind of burden, no one tells us that it’s okay to turn around. That we are indeed not responsible for more than our own choices, and we certainly cannot be responsible for circumstances outside of our control. I’ve worked jobs where I’ve been asked to do the impossible. My first job out of college, the expectations were incredibly high. I got no training and was thrown into a project in a foreign language and an unfamiliar industry. I pulled so many late nights that in the second week I fainted on the way to the office. And I was told this was normal. That in order to succeed like everyone else, I would figure out a way to solve each problem thrown at me, no matter how impossible.

And what sucks is when you start succeeding. You pull off miracle after miracle and then people start expecting it of you like it’s normal. The reward for success isn’t a break. It’s more work. Harder work. And you buy into that unrealistic narrative that you should be able to do it or something must be wrong with you, you must be broken and can’t perform like you used to. And when you finally break, you get spit out and discarded like an outdated machine. They find the next, younger miracle worker to buy into the narrative.

Knowledge vs Wisdom

This is an easier one. Funny that Twilight’s agency is called WISE in canon. But what is wisdom? The ability to discern between right and wrong, to utilize knowledge effectively for the greater good, to know how to truly live life and live it well.

Twilight strikes me as the kind of person who uses knowledge as a weapon, not too dissimilarly to Yuri who literally states “knowledge is power.” Twilight hoards knowledge like building an arsenal, so he can always be prepared for any problem. And this is how nations treat knowledge (intel) in the real world. Constantly trying to gain an information advantage on the enemy.

But how does one know if one’s strategy to use all that knowledge is right? In Orpheus, the Ostanian state exhibits little wisdom in its pursuit of endless knowledge, experimenting on children and prisoners and animals to gain an edge over its rivals and amass more power for those at the top. At the same time the competition and backstabbing between the various arms of the state are almost childish in their motivations, the epitome of foolishness. Knowledge on its own does not build trust or confidence—but it can build hubris and confusion and distrust.

One unexpectedly fun part of writing Orpheus was the dynamics between Garden and WISE. While there is distrust at the start, the leaders and members of both sides demonstrate wisdom in how they navigate the partnership and grant trust to each other bit by bit. And this feels very counterintuitive to spies who build careers off of lies and masks, as they find that truthfulness can unlock results so much faster than subterfuge. At least when it comes to dealing with Garden.

On a final note on this topic, I find it interesting that in canon Donovan Desmond claims it is impossible to know what other people are thinking and therefore human beings can never trust each other. And yet the highest form of knowledge (second only to knowing God), in my opinion, is to truly know another person to the depth of their soul. To know a person completely, and to trust and love them regardless. This is what all people yearn for, even people like Twilight who have made a fortress of masks around their true self. And this kind of knowledge is what requires deep wisdom to wield well.

Sigmund Authen’s gift of the Tree of Life plaque and the accompanying wisdom quote was an unexpected event I did not plan in my outline for Chapter 33. So was Barbara’s advice to Yor in Chapter 34, which I will end this long ramble with:

Before the two left, Barbara turned and patted Yor’s arm. “I know what it’s like to be married to a brilliant man, dear. Don’t feel discouraged. They don’t need their brilliance and worldly achievements so much as they need our love. I know it can be exhausting sometimes, but I’ve stuck by my Siggy this long through thick and thin. What he didn’t mention amidst all that blather about wisdom is that even wisdom isn’t the final goal of all of mankind’s striving. Love is. What is a life full of wisdom and philosophy if it doesn’t help you find love and keep it? In my simple little mind, that’s what wisdom is for. Goodnight, dear. Thank you for having us over.”

And that's a wrap for my 2024!

#spy x family #writing #twiyor #fanfic #orpheus #agent twilight #loid forger #yor forger #fandom wrapped 2024

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