#You can only make sense of what exactly happened in some parts when you view it frame by frame

[fuckyeahisawthat]

Controversial opinion among Dune book fans maybe, but I loved the changes they made to Chani's character. Making her a fedaykin who is already an experienced fighter before Paul arrives was a brilliant choice. Dune Part Two is a war movie, and this puts her at the center of the action, side by side with Paul, and gives her a much more active role than she has in the book.

We got a hint of where things were going in the beginning of Dune Part One. The first thing we ever know about movie Chani is that she's a fighter. She serves as a voice for the Fremen, telling us the story of their struggle from her point of view. I wrote here about the difference this change makes compared to other adaptations of Dune, what a perspective shift it is to have the world of Arrakis introduced not by an outsider, describing it as a dangerous but valuable colonial prize, but by one of its native inhabitants, who tells us before all else that it's beautiful, her home that she's fighting to liberate. I am so, so glad that the second movie followed up on this characterization.

I never found Chani and Paul's love story in the book particularly convincing, because why would this woman, who already has a prominent and respected place in Fremen society, even give the time of day to her deposed would-be colonizer, let alone fall in love and have children with him? Without a compelling reason for Chani to love Paul, she ends up feeling like a prize to be won, and "indigenous culture personified as a woman to be wooed (or conquered) by the colonizing man" is a trope we've seen and don't need to repeat.

But as soon as you tell me it's a barricade romance I get it. Cool cool cool, I know exactly what this relationship is now and it makes sense. Movie Chani doesn't respect or even particularly like Paul when she first meets him, and she doesn't think he's the fulfillment of any prophecy. She comes to respect him, and eventually love him, through his actions. He's brave--sometimes recklessly so. He fights well. He's willing to stick his neck out on the front lines with the other Fremen fighters. He can (after a little help) hack surviving in the harsh desert environment. He's not too proud to learn from others. He seems to genuinely want to be her equal in a common political struggle. All these qualities make sense as things she values.

Fighting side by side as equals is just about the only way I can see movie Chani falling for Paul. And it fits perfectly with the film's pattern of reversals that Paul's capacity for violence would initially be one of the things Chani likes about him, only for her to be repelled later when she sees what he becomes.

And as for Paul, well, he's had people deferring to him his entire life. Someone who doesn't take any shit from him is probably refreshing. He seems to like people (Duncan, Gurney) who challenge him and engage in a little friendly teasing--and aren't afraid to go a few rounds in the sparring ring.

It's easy to speedrun a romance when you're spending all your time together in mortal danger fighting for a shared political cause. Especially if you then start winning in a war your people have been fighting for decades. Are you kidding me? That is the perfect environment for intense battle camaraderie to turn into romantic love, and lust.

It makes sense that this version of Chani never believes Paul is any kind of messiah. Of course a character like movie Chani wouldn't believe in or trust some outside savior to liberate them. She's been working to liberate her own people for years. The more Paul invokes the messianic myth, the more he starts sounding once again like someone who plans to rule over them, and the more uncomfortable Chani becomes. In this way she becomes a foil to Jessica, the two of them representing the choices Paul is pulled between. It's a great way of externalizing the political and philosophical debates that often happen within characters' heads in the book.

And of course this version of Chani would leave Paul at the end of the film. It's not just the personal, emotional betrayal--although that stings. What common cause does she have with someone who just declared himself emperor and is sending her own people off in a war of conquest against others? Given the important role she plays in Dune Messiah, I am super curious to see how they get her back into the story, but girl was so valid for being willing to just gtfo. Given that she has the last shot of the whole movie, I'm sure she'll be back somehow, and I can't wait to see what they do with her character in any future installments.

[rollingeevee]

You mentioned that a darling has little chance of escaping, but little does not exactly imply none at all.

If so, in what scenario does a darling have any, even a little bit chance of escaping a Beast? If there is truly none, is there possibly a way to at least gain some sort of control or set proper boundaries?

The only chance of escape isn’t even really… escape. As stated previously, the bond forced by a claiming bite from a Beast will always incapacitate a darling when they’re trying to run and always guide the Beast to their darling. No matter where they are, how far or how long they have run, the Beast will know where they are, and could retrieve them at any moment they desired. Shadow Milk especially loves to play around with this. He’s a trickster who loves to play games and fuck with the minds and perceptions of others. Perhaps you find a new attempt to escape, and you take it. You run and run as far and fast as you can, and while the bite stings, it’s bearable. Perhaps you flee to another continent. You reunite with your family. You settle back into your normal life. And as time passes, the bite’s pain dulls and dulls until it’s not there anymore. It seemed the effects wore off. You’re free! You’ve done it!

What you don’t know is that it was all orchestrated by Shadow Milk Cookie. He purposely created an opening for you to escape and dulled the effects of the bite as you ran. He knows exactly where you are, and he’s been watching you… Luring you into a false sense of security, allowing you to rebuild your confidence, to get a taste of the freedom you’d lost! All so he can enjoy the expression of despair on your face to the fullest when he rips it all away from you. Oh, you thought you’d actually gotten away? That he would never find you? Tsk tsk tsk… Oh, you silly silly itty bitty mousey dear~ He just wanted to permanently break your spirit and make you realize that you’re his, now and forever~

I went off on a tangent there- other than that, the only other means would be… by the Beast letting you go. If, for some reason or another, they no longer wish for you to be their darling, they’ll remove their bite and, in a rare show of mercy, let you go. Don’t count on this ever happening though. You’re more likely to be rescued by a Witch than you are to be set free. While Beasts are capable of being impulsive, they take claiming a darling with their bite rather seriously. A cookie has to catch their attention and then keep it for a decent amount of time before they even consider biting. Throughout this time, they observe. They test. They challenge. Are you truly deserving of their bite? Because oh yes, they view it as a privilege to be bit by them. It’s only after their interest has been solidified and then begins to spiral into obsession that they feel the desire and the need to claim through a bite. Given all that, to say the likelihood of them letting a darling go once they’ve claimed them is nonexistent is a bit of an understatement-

——

For the second part of your question, setting boundaries is a challenge and requires patience. Really, the only way to gain some semblance of control and be able to set boundaries is to return affection to the Beast and build a mutual bond. When a darling is unwilling, rebellious, and the only thing tying them to their Beast is the bite, the bond can be viewed more as parasitic in a way, and primarily exists out of obsession. Not only that, but the more you fight, the more power and control a Beast is likely to exert over you. If you begin to return affection, either through stockholm syndrome and as a means to survive or out of genuine love, a Beast will slowly become more willing to be cooperative, just as their darling is. When this stage is reached, boundaries can begin to be set. However, it’s less of you putting your foot down and more negotiating with your Beast to be allowed a lil more breathing room.

[impactrueno]

I saw an oldish post of yours where you mention something about the musicaljuice and musicalLyds dinamic after the musical, and it was a fair thing to wonder about cause, yeah, tf do you do after that? Not a particularly openended story, in any case here's my cup of tea.

no one rlly likes beetlejuice besides Lydia and well, not just the fun parts, he helped her develop and put her in a situation where Charles had to listen to her, basically indirectly solved her daddy issues lol, don't know if Lydia would rlly think about the latter though.

But thing is he isn't rlly the ideal friend, nothing rlly happened during the musical to demonstrate growth from beetlejuice or any kind of communication with the whole "leaving him" thing from Lydia's part, in Beetlejuice's head she still was gonna leave him, bro rlly has no object permanence ANYWAY so that, it's likely that similar stuff (maybe not the full blown marriage thing but yk, a lot of misunderstandings and things happening because hr has the separation anxiety of a two month old puppy)

It would take some character development for him to not think Lydia is gonna leave him forever as soon as she walks to a different room, and bringing up another thing you said, Lydia isn't exactly the best either, they were just using eachother to feel better but it wasn't rlly sustainable, but the difference is Lydia changed and Beetlejuice didn't, and most likely he won't, similar to your toonjuice comic where he is capable of caring and he can develop yes, but he isn't gonna change, there's just so much wrong with musicaljuice he can grow in his own Beetlejuice way, but in the end of the day he's still him.

weirdly enough,both toon and musicaljuice are the more "human" of the juices in a sense, or at least, the most emotionally vulnerable and even relatable to a level (more leaning towards musical in this point, I haven't really seen much of the cartoon) because at his core he wants to connect and feel loved, he kinda sucks at both of em tho which makes it hard for any dinamic he could be a part of to work 💔

So yeah that's my thoughts sorry for the mess of dispersed ideas and the long ass text.

-🌧

yeah musicaljuice is the definitely most "human" of the three. i feel like this is because musicals thrive on exploring characters' feelings and emotions, so we get to see a lot of that from him, and that helps the audience understand him better and relate to him to a degree you wouldn't usually see in the cartoon…much less in the movies lmao (even so i still find toonjuice the most relatable. me, personally.) bj's arc in the musical really hit home for a lot of people.

but i'm gonna have to disagree with you that bj didn't change or go through character development. at the beginning of the show, death means nothing to him. we all die. let's kill some people. it's whatever. but after the wedding ceremony where he came to life just to die a minute later, when he protects lydia from his mother, he shows that his view on life and death changed quite a bit after what he just went through. he saw that lydia's life was precious and would not let his mother take that away from her. note that in Say My Name, he's stopping her from jumping off the roof only because he needs her alive, since she's the only living person who can actually see him and therefore summon him. but after the wedding, he's very selflessly protecting her right to live. not just that, but he kills his own mother (the cause of all his emotional issues) in order to save lydia. that's HUGE. symbolic, too!!

he's the only one of the juices who actually went through a character arc and showed growth by the end of it. toonjuice is notoriously bad about this sort of thing lol. and moviejuice is…..question marks. what even is he. we just don't know.

the thing is we didn't get to see much of him after the events that changed him. the only interaction he has with lydia after that is their goodbye, which was very sweet and did a great job at showing that there are no hard feelings. but like…how different would their dynamic be after all that? because it was a pretty significant shift in character from him, which would probably affect how they get along with each other.

…OR WOULD IT….?

see, there's also the possibility that they would simply go back to how they were during That Beautiful Sound. just two fucked up friends having fun in ways that only make sense to them. although maybe his abandonment issues wouldn't be such a problem after doing the incredibly cathartic act of killing his mother lmao. or maybe lydia, now understanding him a lot better, would help him figure out how to deal with his issues (this is a big maybe because she doesn't come off as the type of person who would do that…that's more of a toonlyds thing.) perhaps maybe they would talk things out, she would probably tell him "i wasn't leaving you, stupid." bro was scheming against her while she was literally upstairs gushing to the maitlands about "her monster" lol but he didn't know that!! after the whole wedding stuff and meeting his mother i think lydia would go "oh now i get why he acted so weird."

it's all one big "maybe" because i think it could go either way with these two, and it all hinges on the direction you want to take them in. you mentioned bj isn't an ideal friend, and i guess you could try making him one?? but he doesn't have to be. i certainly wouldn't expect him to be the ideal best friend, not by any sane person's standards anyway. and that's the thing about them, they're both chaotic and messed up, and it's likely they would remain so even after the events of the musical because that's just the kind of people they are. not to mention the fact that you can't get rid of bj's emotional issues overnight. all of this, and they would still be inseparable because of the unique type of connection they have. there's these posts i saw the other day that i think encapsulate them pretty well lol

i would say that the one thing we know for sure is that he now has an undying loyalty towards her. she tricked him and then killed him, and yet he still went out of his way and faced his own personal demon to save her and showed gratitude for allowing him to be alive, even if it was just for a bit.

this dumbass though. instead of scheming against her, if he wanted to become alive so he could stop being invisible, he could've just told her that. considering how big of a weirdo she is, it's so easy to imagine her agreeing to the marriage thing just to make him alive, if he had brought it up in a less insane manner lmfao but then we would have no plot now would we

[writingicing]

Been reading a lot of posts about how much the ML in When the Phone Rings is too toxic and unromantic and how can he possibly not have learnt sign language if he loved her all this time and all of that... and here is what I think.

I haven't read the book, and although I did see some spoilers, the show might change things up a bit (and as far as we have seen, the changes made in the show has been for the better.) But, I think before judging him for being too toxic, a couple of things need to be considered.

I mean, what's the genre, guys, come on -

Everyone is entitled to their opinion but the whole point of such a story and such a show is to write weird, dark, toxic characters who are fucked up. People aren't finding his not knowing sign language as romantic because to some extent, people are just letting themselves get lost in the story and experience it first.

If that is like a genuine trigger for someone, that is completely understandable. But on the other hand, can't imagine having a stance of only watching perfectly good non-toxic politically correct characters on screen - is that not boring?

And that is the point - he is fucked up.

The way I see it, it makes sense that he has not learned sign language to communicate with. Like others have been posting, I don't think he intended to ever have a proper relationship with her.

We have only seen hong hee joo's backstory and we've only seen some of it, but because of this we have an understanding of her behavior and where it comes from.

Don't we at least owe that to baek sa eon as well?

People who are fucked in the head don't always know how to love someone best. And that's okay. I don't think that the drama is saying, "hey look we are going to romanticize another husband who won't get his shit together until his wife threatens to leave him." I think the drama is trying to say, "hey, look at both of these fucked up people who have spent so many years together refusing to communicate with each other and refusing to open up."

I find that to be one of the most interesting parts of the show actually - that BOTH of them have refused to open up to each other. She hasn't opened to him in the way she hasn't opened up to ANYONE because her mother forced her to go mute and took her agency away... her mother took her right to being herself away from her, and so she is as much fucked up as he is.

And for him, it seems like his own right to be himself has been taken away as well.

While it is absurd that he hasn't attempted to learn sign language until now, I think this dialogue gives a lot of insight into how he views her in her life: "She is a brand new language."

When you don't know who you are, when you don't know how to love, when you don't know how to receive love, when you are only a fraction of your own self, would you really learn a new language? You might have that book on your shelf... it might give you comfort... it might even give you hope that you will pick it up one day to learn it... but there might still be fear within you to commit, to put effort, to approach something as scary as learning a new language (and I don't just mean sign language, but hong hee joo herself.)

Is he objectifying her in a way? Yes, he is. But he is living an objectified life as well. This is his normal, this is the worldview that he has been taught, and nothing ever has given him the hope that taking a step, a risk, will lead him to something good.

And that is exactly what is finally happening right now. I don't think he's even seen her emote, let alone resist - I mean, he seems surprised to see her angry, to see her cry, to see her make noises, to see her be so confident in her skillset, to see her challenge him. I don't think either of them have ever had stupid playful annoying moments like switching the light on and off, her stealing back her pillow from under his head, them having a tug of war with the trash bag. They have never experienced each other this way and he has especially never experienced her in this way. I don't think he has experienced anyone in this way.

So yeah, he didn't learn it before. But the best way to bridge a communication gap is to reach across it yourself. I don't even know if he's realizing it, but to pay for her dad's new care home is taking power away from her mother....to tell her she needs to stop thinking about what their family will say and go get a job next to him, publicly showing herself right by his side as his EQUAL (not just his trophy wife, mind you) when their family has been asking her to quit her job... to bring her favorite food and telling her comforting words to the best of his abilities... to defend her worth to a random kidnapper bitch... all of this is his way of reaching across that gap himself. And now she is reciprocating, she has accepted that job and she is going to teach him how to communicate with her... she is going to teach him how to learn and understand HER, who is a brand new language for him.

And yeah, alright, maybe he didn't reach across that gap until her safety was actually threatened. But sometimes, when you're so numb to yourself and to the world around you, you need cold water splashed on your face, you need an explosion by your ears to wake you up. Maybe he needed this rude awakening as not only a warning, but a sign that he can indeed go ahead and make a connection with her. That she is real and she won't hurt him, and that he can maybe even trust himself not to hurt her.

Not everyone is perfect, not everyone is created with only green flag qualities. And hong hee joo never has to forgive him, she doesn't have to do anything - but no one can deny that she can forgive if he has earned her forgiveness.

[whereserpentswalk]

Your girlfriend was turned into a demon recently.

Well, she's not really your girlfriend anymore, she's just a girl that lives with you. Demons aren't capable of romantic or sexual feelings, but you wouldn't just give up on her like that. She was a powerful mage, and she became a demon due to a spell backfiring, it's not her fault these things happen sometimes. You still take care of her, you sort of feel you could have done more.

It's obvious she's a demon from looking at her, most obviously her eyes turned black and her teeth sharpened, and her skin became rather pale. It's not as inhuman as some demons but it's still a lot. More subtlety a three peice suit she used to wear has fused to her, becoming part of her body that she can never take off. And her movements have become what you can only call disturbing. You almost wish she was less human, that you didn't keep seeing her face, that you could ignore the fact that she used to be herself. You'd be lying to say you didn't find yourself disturbed by her, the way you have to bring small animals to her so that she'll have souls to eat, the way her facial expressions don't match up with normal emotions, the way she looks like a mockery of the girl you once loved.

In past generations you would have been told to kill her or lock her away, nowadays it still happens but there are other options. Your city has a large transformed population, and your freind group is all on board with taking care of her as long as she needs. She's had to stop taking college courses for now while she recovers from the transformation, but you hope she gets to sign up for them again. It's assumed that when someone transforms like that they're not going to be part of society anymore, that those aspects of their old life are dropped. Even though she's not seeing her family again, you hope that with her freinds and her school she still gets to continue her old life in some sort of way.

She's as afraid of herself as you are of her. From what you know of demons from media you were ready to kill her the momment she transformed, you stopped being so egar when you found out she felt the same way too. She's worried she'll hurt someone, even though you know that she'd never be the type to, she's worried she's permanently lost something that makes her herself even though you know interacting with her that she'll always be herself. She spends a lot of time upset, thinking about everything she misses from humanity, things she'll never have again. She says she feels cold, colder then a human body ever could be, you try to hug her to make her warm.

You hug her a lot, you want her to still feel loved, and for her to know that even though she lost her ability to have sex, she still can experience love and affection in other ways. For some reason you assumed she'd stop liking you when she stopped being attracted to you, but she still likes you. The things that made her love you as a girlfriend when she was human make her love you as a freind now. It'll never be the same, but it can still be happy. The more you spend time with her the more you realize it still really is her, same sense of humor, same philosophy, same way of viewing the world. Now that she's off from school she spends a lot of time watching scifi movies from when she was young, or playing weird video games, it's exactly how she always is at her most burnt out. She wants to practice magic again, but it's still taking time, she doesn't want to make things worse. Things are moving so slowly, but it's still her, it's still her.

You know that a lot of demons end up doing terrible things, partly because of what it does to someone when they lose all their support network. But she didn't, her freinds, including you, are making sure she's happy, making sure to give her attention, and praise, and hugs, and little gifts, and it doesn't seem that she's turning out that way. She doesn't need to turn to dark things, when she's still here, she's still alive, and you realize that you're happy she's still alive.

[kewwie-pie]

Let's address the blue suited elephant in the room!

I want to preface this by saying, of course, what Prosciutto does to pesci isn't okay in the slightest. He's a grown man who should keep his hands to himself, but i do want to talk about the scene itself and how araki has addressed this in the new la squadra lore drop.

If you've ever read or watched part 5, you must be familiar with pesci and proscuitto. The dynamic these two shared was quite unique, considering that at the time Araki wrote these two, we didn't really see two minor antagonist banter and interact with each other in the same way they did.

People who like La squadra have especially taken a liking to the dynamic Pesci and Proscuitto share, but one thing that we don't really talk about or acknowledge is the fact that proscuitto hits / manhandles pesci. So let's talk about it!

When you think of Prosciutto, your first thought might not be kind and doting. However, Araki goes on to emphasize that prosciutto is too soft on Pesci and praises him too much.

"This makes it a total of FIVE TIMES he supported pesci in an hour."

"People might wonder if Prosciutto was being over protective"

This makes sense in the context of the episodes, and Araki also goes on to state Prosciutto cares very deeply about pesci, to the point his love is deeper than that of a mothers love.

Araki tells us readers that the only time prosciutto has used the "stick treatment" was when pesci got ambushed by Mista but he quickly brushes it aside by highlighting the fact prosciutto was brave and grabbed the gunslinger risking his own life to save that of pesci.

"My prized hook and line" written by yoshihita okita, does a reversal of what araki has shown us. Instead of pesci constantly being praised by proscuitto, pesci gets scolded multiple times throughout the short story, and it is only at the end that we see proscuitto praising pesci for doing the right thing. This signals a turn in how proscuitto views his subordinate.

--

Prosciutto's actions and Pesci’s Reactions

Now, this is where the novel differs from what we see in canon and where I start to project some of my own thoughts and feelings on these scenes. It's not exactly a one to one comparison, but it'll do.

Leading up to the impact in the anime, we see pesci praising prosciutto on how amazing he is for disguising himself as one of the passengers. Even though pesci nearly got himself killed, he still excitedly walks up to prosciutto. So when prosciutto hits him, he looks genuinely confused because he didn't expect that to happen. THIS makes sense in combination with what araki has told us.

Prosciutto is overprotective and praises pesci too much because he deeply cares for him and his safety. Of course, pesci would feel comfortable walking up to prosciutto. He hasn't given pesci a reason to make him feel otherwise. However, the stakes are much higher than normal they went on this train knowing they'd either come out victorious or die trying to obtain their goal. But pesci still doesn't act like it, and so in the heat of the moment, prosciutto hits him, which gets followed by the 5 times of praise Araki loves to mention.

In the novel, Prosciutto doesn't actually hit Pesci, but he does instinctively cover his face out of fear of being hit. This doesn't exactly contradict what Araki has told us, but this pesci is much more fearful of Prosciutto, which would make sense because this takes place when pesci has freshly joined the team and hasn't really realized which buttons he can and cannot push.

(I think it's also important to keep in mind this wonderful short story wasn't written by Araki himself, so obviously, the way the characters interact and behave aren't going to be 100% accurate. However, it did get approved, so it's up to you to decide whether or not you want to accept this as canon or not)

--

What happens after?

In the novel, there's not really anything that happens after because nobody's getting hit, so we're going to be focusing on the anime.

If you've seen the episode, we all know what happens after. Prosciutto starts giving pesci pep talks and praising him and touching foreheads invading pesci's space. This exclusively happens after Prosciutto hits him. Why is that? Why do that after decking pesci in the face?

Well, it's because pesci lost the confidence he had after being scolded so harshly by his mentor. In the anime, the difference between before and after isn't very noticeable because pesci has been changed to come across as more meak and shy. But in the manga, pesci goes from a playful and cocky newbie to a meak and anxiety filled mammone in almost an instant. THAT is why prosciutto goes overboard with the praise and PDA. He's aware of what type of impact it has on pesci and tries his best to steer pesci back in the right direction with kind words.

--

(I'd place some examples here but I've reached my limit unfortunately)

Conclusion

I'm not really sure how I want to end this, but regardless of how you see pesci and proscuitto's relationship, I think it's very important that we continue to have fun and mess around with their dynamic as two characters in our favorite show. You can choose to ignore that prosciutto has done this, or you can choose to come up with your own explanation for his behavior, but at the end of the day, we're all here to have a good time.

Thank you so much for taking the time of your day to read this <3

[j-partneringrime]

Rachel Amber is such a good character and I don’t get the amount of hate she gets. I feel like people who are judging her based on some of her actions really don’t understand her character, because that’s exactly what happens in the games. In the first game, most people who talk about rachel say how popular she was or how beautiful she was, and how cool she was at parties or how good she was at modelling, almost everything said about rachel from people other than chloe is stuff like that. the way they talk about her to max, who never met her, really seems like they don’t view her a as an actual person and more as an idea, they let their idea of rachel overshadow who she actually was and what she actually did and felt, she was always the popular girl or the party girl or something like that, she was always “rachel amber” instead of just rachel amber (if that makes sense). And rachel leaned into that assumption of her a bit but not in a lying, manipulative way like some people say, but in a similar way to chloe being known as a trouble maker and a rebel, which made her act like that more than she would’ve normally, without that expectation of her. It’s just so heartbreaking to see after rachel’s death that most people who she knew, when asked about her, don’t actually talk about what she was actually like as person. And that’s shown even more while she was alive in BtS, that everyone has an idea of her but no one truly knows her, even her parents think of her as their perfect, smart, polite, always good daughter, which isn’t who she is, I mean it’s part of her and everything else people think of her aren’t lies, but they’re only part of her. And chloe is the only person we ever see rachel fully open up to and when talking about rachel, actually talks about what she was like as person and the full person what she was, not just the idea that people got from her. That’s why it’s so sad and mischaracterising when people say she was using chloe and manipulating her, because chloe was the only person she ever let her herself fully be free with and without any expectations of her, including her own parents. I don’t understand how people can see their relationship and think it’s all fake from rachel’s end, especially since the ending of BtS and the big final decision is about the trust they have in each other and how rachel trusts chloe completely, because the final choice of whether to tell her the truth or not is very much framed as either don’t tell her and save her the pain of losing her father, which chloe understands and also knows how much rachel needs her family right now, or do tell her because rachel has complete trust in chloe and to not tell her would be to betray that trust, and to betray the only real relationship rachel has, and to view that thinking rachel doesn’t care about chloe removes all meaning from that moment. That moment is literally about how much trust rachel has in chloe and how much she cares about her and the choice you make is deciding if you are going to be worthy of that trust and love that rachel is giving you or if you’ll betray it and hide something incredibly meaningful from her when she needs someone to be there for her more than ever. And I feel like that trust between them is what ends up helping rachel open up more after BtS and what lets rachel let down some of walls when she and chloe hang out with other people, like steph and mikey or justin and trevor. Rachel is an amazing character who deserved much better from both in universe and real life. She deserved to live, she deserved to get out of Arcadia bay with chloe, she deserved to meet max and she deserves to be seen as she is by the fandom instead of the strange evil and manipulative idea some have of her. Rachel Amber is an amazing character, and deserves all the love <3

Also the argument at the junkyard, really shows just how much people’s perception of rachel affects her, that chloe, who she has never really spoken to before and only interactions are yesterday at the concert and today skipping school, both of which are good days for them and go against what people think of rachel, after all that chloe still pushes and kind of forces the ideas and assumptions about rachel on her, even though none of her experiences with rachel fit that perception of her, she still uses it against her, because that’s just how she’s known sadly. Which I don’t fully blame chloe for because both her and rachel weren’t in the best mindset during that fight and literally everyone has that perception of her so chloe leaning into that perception of her is believable but you know, it still happened.

(btw these are more my thoughts about her from an in universe perspective, not how she was written irl, because I know some of the stuff I mention, like how people talk about her in LiS 1, is because of the story and how her character is purposefully written and meant to be viewed)

[casanovawrites]

random sentence prompts  ━ from various tv shows, part 16

i don’t think i’ve ever been this fucking tired.

sometimes people act like one thing, even though they’re something else.

that little bit of hope, that’s the part i couldn’t bear.

i would give anything to feel like a good person again.

best way to make us suffer is to give us hope.

piecing this together is like trying to grab hold of water.

so far, i’m underwhelmed. 

i don’t want a relationship. i just want to be with you all the time.

i just wanna know why everyone always abandons me.

i can’t be around you anymore. it’s confusing, and it makes me feel insane.

you didn’t take me out of love, you took me out of spite. 

don’t let love make you out to be a fool. leave before you’re left.

you are a lonely, selfish, narcissistic asshole. 

every time i look at you, i feel so completely dismantled. 

i have people who mean more to me than you would ever understand. 

always surprised to see you so tenderhearted. 

that’s more like salvation than a simple favor.

when i think about the specifics too much, i just get sad.

i let my ego get in the way of a lot of good shit in my life.

it’s easier to lose interest than to work through things. 

it’s my life. it’s already over in the first place. 

i only wanted to leave because i’ve never felt seen here.

do you wanna be right, or do you wanna have your family?

you’re exactly like me. that’s the problem.

i just wanna feel normal. please help me feel normal.

it felt like we were changing the world.

i am so sorry i freaked out. it will not happen again.

i thought that work would distract me.

you challenged me, and in return, i made you feel small. i’m sorry.

you said that we were bad for each other.

why is my fucking point of view the one everyone’s assuming is wrong?

sometimes it feels like i’m watching other people experience things.

you know, sometimes i think you just lie for the fun of it.

i fucking love that. i love when you stoop to my level.

sometimes i just wanna feel so normal that i’m almost boring.

that’s the thing about liars. they look just like everybody else.

i don’t hate you. what good is that gonna do?

i feel angry, sad, betrayed. i don’t hate you, i feel bad for you.

i feel bad for you because you aren’t the good person you thought you were. that’s gotta hurt, knowing that.

i'm either all in or all out. i need to find a way forward.

when you are ready, this will make you stronger. better.

you either adapt, or you lose your mind.

don’t tell me you’re pretty, privileged, and humorless.

you know, at some point, we’re gonna have to start trusting each other. 

i used to be a happier person.

thank you for not being full of shit.

she was a nuisance as a child and a horror show as a teen. 

i’m so sick of hearing everybody’s opinions about me.

i don’t think you’re pathetic. i just want you to be careful.

i’m done looking like a fucking idiot, so i’m asking you to treat me with some respect from now on.

i just got you back. i’m not losing you again.

everyone was so scared, there was no time to be angry.

i believed in you. don’t you get that?

would you rather i just pick you apart and make you feel like shit?

what you want is for me to read your mind so i can say whatever you want to hear at any given time.

i was already on my fucking own.

whatever this is, it’s you and i.

i couldn’t kill you. i’d probably just cry.

if we’re gonna do this, we’re doing it together.

this seems like a really good plan to piss off my parents, so i’m in.

do things around here feel different to you?

scared people do scary things. even the good ones.

i know we don’t right now. but could we make sense again?

we keep playing with fire, and we need to stop before we burn our lives down.

i am the one who keeps people alive.

which fucking nightmare am i supposed to be afraid of?

i cant help if i’m in the dark.

every time something good happens, something bad comes to ruin it.

whatever this is, we are stronger than this.

will i ever feel normal again?

i think this is your normal now. and everyday, you’ll get a little more comfortable with it.

[shadyteacup]

CAN WE HAVE A PART 2 OF BOY BYE

Free

Part 2 of Boy Bye

You sighed as you heard the door rattle ever so slightly.

It had been 2 weeks since Dazai walked out on you and it has been… peaceful.

Or so you had hoped.

The ache in your heart only grew as the days went by, but you weren’t going to text him, let alone call him.

He had been such a loving boyfriend these last few months, that you had almost thought it was a prank when he asked to break up.

You were strong and independent, you didn’t really need him. Or so you told yourself everyday, as you tried very hard to ignore the dull pain in your chest.

A click brought you out of your thoughts, making you jump slightly on your seat at the sofa.

This can’t be actually happening, you thought to yourself, as you heard the door creak open. You were seated at an angle that blocked your view of the door, but you weren’t exactly worried about your safety. Because you knew who the intruder was.

“Tell me why I shouldn’t be calling the police, Osamu.”, you spoke into the silence.

A low chuckle was heard, followed by a messy head of brown appearing before you.

“Because, love,”, he said, making you roll your eyes at the nickname that he didn’t deserve to call you anymore.

“I’m not breaking in! I simply, forgot!”

He stood there, grinning like an idiot, holding up a set of random keys, cheeks blushed and eyes droopy.

“Forgot what?”

“To carry the right keys, of course!”, he said, burping at the end, making you scrunch up your nose in disgust.

“Just, how drunk are you?”, you asked, worried as he almost tumbled onto the floor, unable to stand still.

“Just a little!”

You groaned at his idiotic grin. This was going to be messy.

“Whose keys did you flick?”, you asked, hoping to return them to their rightful owner tomorrow.

“Keys? What keys? I don’t know any Mr Keith”, he declared, sauntering up to the space next to you and collapsing.

You froze up as he nuzzled his head on your thigh, his long arms gripping onto you as if you might disappear any second.

In mere seconds, you heard snores, and sighed to yourself.

How did he expect you to move on if he kept doing things like this?

You looked down at his head, and a small smile formed on your face as you saw how his cheek was smushed up against your thigh, and his pink lips naturally formed a cute pout as a result.

God. You missed this so much.

Hesitantly, you raised a hand and lightly grazed over his hair. The curls tickled the tips of your fingers, and you could almost cry at how comforting that felt.

You always loved him dearly. Even when he would have his random bursts of cold, distant behaviour, you gave him space and welcomed him with open arms when he came back to normal. You knew he was like this because of his trust issues, and his childhood wasn’t the best, so to speak.

He would always be sure to pamper you with love after his cold spurs.

But this time, when he wanted to break up, you didn’t see that same wall that he usually built around himself; you sensed indifference and dislike. He truly didn’t love you at that moment, and that scared you.

One of the only reasons why you didn’t want to even try to rekindle your relationship with him, is because of how scared you were of his expressions that day. He truly felt absolutely nothing but dislike for you, and you could feel it.

How is it that the same man is lying here, on your couch, with his head on your lap, lovingly nuzzling into you in his sleep?

“You must have a split personality…”, you mumbled, toying with individual curls of his dark hair.

“Or maybe, it’s more of a bipolar disorder?”, you wondered, lacking any actual knowledge of either mental illnesses.

You just wanted some reason to defend his hurtful behaviour. Some reason to let him in.

But maybe, there is no reason. Maybe, it was all just an elaborate lie, that he spun to cure his boredom.

The thought was too painful to entertain, and a tear slipped down your cheek.

You decided to just ignore these thoughts, and enjoy the moment of calm while it lasts.

Dazai groaned as he stirred awake. He had blacked out last night, having spent the night getting kicked out of multiple bars for having drank too much. He couldn’t remember much, except for the occasional sob of your name as he clutched a glass of whiskey on the rocks. He hadn’t felt such emptiness for a while.

He begrudgingly opened his eyes, only to still at the sight.

There you sat, asleep, neck bent in an uncomfortable position. He felt your hand in his hair, and decided to just stare at you.

He observed the smooth, silky skin he adored so much, and how it bent inwards after your cheekbones, narrowing towards your chin.

He smiled at the tiny freckles, and adored the pink of your lips. His smile faded as he noticed the dried tears on your cheeks, and the remnants of your maskara staining a path below your eyelashes.

He was the reason for your tears. He hated himself.

He raised a hand, and hesitated. Did he deserve to touch you after what he had done? Did he deserve to wipe your tears, to push your hair out of your face and to comfort you?

“Osamu..”, you whispered, still deep in slumber.

He usually loved the way you said his name.

But this time, his heart hurt at the pain in your voice.

He silently retracted his hand, which was only inches away from your face, and tried to get up. He wanted to get out of here before you woke up, hoping that you’d chalk it up to a weird dream.

He, stupidly, forgot about your hand in his hair.

You jumped awake, eyes wide and heart pumping. Your swift gaze landed on him, stilling.

You didn’t say anything, and he could see that you wanted to say something. He hoped you would, he silently begged you to.

But you didn’t.

He finally got up, and adjusted his shirt. It felt weird sitting next to you on the sofa where you had both spent countless nights cuddling, watching movies and enjoying each other’s presence.

You both spent some moments in silence, hating to accept that you liked the proximity.

You finally broke the silence as you cleared your throat, ready to take the initiative.

“Please don’t break in again.”

With that, you got up. He watched as you searched for something, and looked at you puzzled when you picked up a set of keys.

“Return these to their owner.”, you said, handing them to him.

He scrunched his brows, not knowing what any of that meant.

Did he break in? Whose keys are these? Why aren’t you addressing the real issue here?

“Did I.. break in?”, he asked, his voice deep and slightly raspy.

You sighed at the state of him. How could he sound so sexy and yet make you want to cry your eyes out? How could he not remember anything? Were you a joke to him? A joke of a person that he can use and throw as he pleased?

“I’m not your plaything, Dazai.”, you mustered up the courage to say to him, watching his face darken.

“You can’t keep doing this.”

He averted his eyes, and nodded.

“Please, just..”, you hated the way your voice cracked. You took a moment to calm your throat, and push the emotions away. You couldn’t afford to cry right now.

“Please leave.”

Dazai clenched his fist at your words. He hated the way you were holding back tears, tears that you would probably spill the moment he’s out the door.

“I’m sorry.”, he said, getting up and collecting his things off the floor.

You watched, hands hugging your torso, as he grabbed everything.

He stepped towards the door, when you called out to him.

“I’m asking because I want closure.”, you began, “Why?”

He froze, not being able to meet your eyes.

He hated himself.

He absolutely loathed himself.

“Because,”, he said, still avoiding eye contact, “you don’t deserve to be with a cheater.”

You couldn’t hold it anymore, having feared this.

Tears freely occupied your cheeks, sliding down and staining your top.

“Was she worth it?”, your voice trembled, making Dazai close his eyes in shame.

“Nothing can truly be worth it, y/n.”

You watched him disappear behind the door, and felt numb.

Maybe this was what you needed: the truth, the keys that can finally set you free from the chains around your heart.

Authors note: I’m truly sorry lol

[phthalomushroom]

The Family (5)

last next

pairings: modern!mafia!aemondxreader

summary: You had left Kings Landing and the Targaryen family four years ago. Now back and living with your old roommate you realize that the life you had thought you escaped had seemingly been waiting for you. But will the family really let you go? Will the people you left behind forgive you? Can you forget the past and look to the future?

warnings: language, mentions of trauma, stalking, mention of injury

word count: 1.8K

note: I am so sorry for the late post, the words were just not wording and I needed more time to figure out what I wanted to be said. But I finished this chapter and I hope you all enjoy!

Baela and you had split up only a couple of hours ago. She had gotten a call and had needed to leave right away. You had asked what was going on but she assured you everything was fine before leaving.

You still had some errands to do, which lead you across the city to the East side. By the time you finished it had gotten pretty late. Most of the stores were closed and the taxi services were no longer in commission. You looked at your phone to see when the next train was, seeing that you needed to make it fifteen blocks in order to catch the last train for the red line. You began walking, taking in the cool evening air when you had an odd, gut feeling that something wasn’t right.

The streets were a little too quiet, which was never the case during this time. Usually there would be groups of people out walking, people on their balconies laughing but tonight there was just…quiet. You took a look over your shoulder to try and ease your thoughts only to see the man Daemon had mentioned earlier following you.

You looked forward, picking up the pace as you turned the corner. You thought that maybe it was a coincidence but that would be impossible. There were no coincidences in this city, you of all people should know that. 

You were made keenly aware that you were nowhere near your apartment nor the train station and there was no way you were going to end up in a subway possibly cornered. You were up on the East side, a side that you didn’t venture much on your own, meaning you were very unfamiliar with it. This was supposed to be a safe part of the city since the rich and high class lived here, there  was no way something would happen to you.

Clearly not, as the footsteps behind you got louder, making you instinctually speed up. 

This shouldn’t be happening, Daemon should have intervened by now. Unless that whole conversation was just to get under your skin, to throw you off. 

What a prick. 

However as much as Daemon was a prick you weren’t willing to find out if he was a liar.

You had grabbed your mace out of your bag, your body going into autopilot as your senses tried to assess how close this man was getting to you. You took a turn ending up on a familiar cobblestone street and realized exactly where you could go. You turned down another corner, heading for the brownstone at the end of the street. 

You took the stairs two at a time, repeatedly knocking on the door quickly as you watched from the corner of your eye as the man continued to approach. 

The heavy wooden door opened to reveal a shirtless and very confused Aemond Targaryen. 

“What-”

You wrapped your arms around him, pushing your way inside as you pushed him up against the wall and out of view of the street, kicking the door shut. You peaked through the side window, moving the curtain to see the man that was following you get picked up by a black Audi before speeding away. 

“Happy to see you too.”

You looked up to see Aemond smirking at you. You quickly pulled away, taking a couple steps back as you shoved your mace back in your bag. “Your guard dog take the night off?”

Aemond’s eyebrows furrowed, noting what was just in your hand. “Huh?”

“Someone was following me. I thought Daemon was on protection detail.”

His face twisted before he grabbed your hand, taking you up the stairs of the foyer and into the kitchen. He grabbed his phone off the kitchen island.

He started scrolling through contacts. “Help yourself to anything you want, I have to make a call.”

“I think I’ll just go-”

“Sit.”

You instinctively took a seat at the island, watching him walk around the corner to where his office was. You rolled your eyes at yourself, right back here and right back into your old ways. 

You set your shopping bags on the ground and put your coat over your chair heading over to the oven where something was simmering. It looked like Aemond had just finished making some mac n’ cheese.

He did say help yourself.

You grabbed a bowl from the shelf and supplied some golden crescents to your bowl. You had just sat down and taken a forkful to your mouth when Aemond came back in, with a shirt on, as he tied up his hair into a low bun.

He looked kinda pretty as a few of the shorter strands framed his face. 

He smirked, noting you had been staring. “Eating my food already.”

You blinked, looking away. “You said help yourself.”

“Indeed I did.” He grabbed a bowl, joining you across the island.

It was silent for a while, both of you eating your portions. It felt… normal. Like old times, a chill went down your spine at that. You needed to change that.

“Everything okay?”

Aemond’s face darkened. “It will be.”

“Is Daemon-”

“He’s being taken care of by the family doctor.”

You nodded. “The same one who stitched me up?”

His eyes met yours before quickly looking at the counter, he cleared his throat. “Yeah.”

You put your fork down, sitting back in your chair crossing your arms. “I’m going to need an explanation.”

He mirrored your stance, leaning back against the counter. “I don’t think that's a good idea.”

You started getting up. “Then I’m leaving.”

“No.” He reached over the counter to grab your hand. 

You looked up at him. “You were a real asshole the last time we spoke, you know that right?”

He let out a sigh, letting your hand go. “I know. I… I didn’t expect to see you and I was drunk.”

“You never acted like that while you were drunk before.”

“That’s because I dated you.”

You felt your face heat up at that. “Maybe you shouldn’t make it a habit. You're a bit of a mean drunk.”

He let out a small chuckle. “I wasn’t that bad.”

“You were rude.”

“I was flirting.”

“You’re engaged.”

He frowned. “I know.”

“We’re going to have to talk about it. At least to make peace.”

His eyes softened. “I-I can’t.”

You moved to grab your stuff as you made your way to the door. More secrets, more difficulties. You needed the whole truth or nothing and you were beginning to grow tired of being the only one who wanted to have a peaceful life. 

“It’s the Lannisters.”

Your feet stopped moving, you almost dropped your things. You slowly turned towards him. “You said they were gone.”

“They were but- but things got complicated. I am going to take care of it.”

“What happened, Aemond?”

“You came back, you weren’t supposed to come back and then everything got more complicated and then Alys-”

“Slow down.” You couldn’t make sense of anything he was trying to say.

He was breathing quickly and his words were beginning to jumble to the point where understanding him was impossible. Tears looked like they were ready to spill from his eyes. You dropped your stuff, walking over to him and taking his face in your hands. 

You forced him to look at you. “Breathe, Aemond.”

You moved your hands down so they were rubbing up and down his arms. “You need to breathe.”

He leaned forward, putting his forehead against yours, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. 

Then another. 

You closed your eyes, leaning into him and the familiar sage scent that he got from using his body wash. Despite the years, despite the pain, despite everything you still missed him. He was your everything when you were a teen, he was the only family you had at one point and now, being this close to him, you wondered how you had gone so long without him.

But he was engaged, and as much as you wanted to be selfish you just couldn’t do it. 

You pulled away, taking a step back from him. “The Lannisters are back?”

He seemed disappointed. 

He nodded, rubbing his face. “They’ve been back for a couple months now.”

“You should have told me.”

He shook his head. “No, I don’t want you involved in this again.”

“Aemond I am involved in this, I mean I was being followed home. Daemon got hurt. It’s like five years ago all over again.”

“No it's not.” He came towards you taking your hands and rubbing his thumb in a circle on the back of your hand. “I’m not going to let that night happen again. I’m not gonna lose you, do you understand me?”

He was looking intensely into your eyes, then his gaze moved to your lips. You hadn’t realized he had gotten so close.

“Aemond.” You breathed. Your head began to spin as if you were drunk, your thoughts going quiet as your body started to move closer to his as if you were magnets destined to meet again. 

“I’ve missed you so much.” He leaned down, his breath fanning your face.

“Aemond.” The noise you made was a mixture of a whimper and a plea as Aemond leaned closer meeting your lips with his.

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer as his tongue invaded your mouth. You snaked your hands up into his hair, pulling the strands from the bun he wore. He moaned, pulling you impossibly closer as he nipped your lower lip. You felt like you were on fire, as your teeth clashed, the kiss becoming more hungry. 

More desperate. 

Suddenly his phone rang, causing the two of you to jump apart, finally being brought back to reality. He took his phone out of his back pocket, glancing at the caller ID.

“I have to take this.” 

You nodded.

“You aren’t leaving tonight,” he said. “You can stay in my room, I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“Don’t you still have a guest room?”

His face turned red. “Not anymore.”

He turned, heading towards his office as he answered his phone, closing the door behind him.

You made your way upstairs, heading past where you remembered the guest room to be. Against your better judgment you peered inside to see the room that used to house a queen sized bed now be filled with boxes of all kinds of things. 

You crept inside, looking into one of the closer boxes. You knew you shouldn't be snooping but after everything that happened tonight you thought fuck it. 

You reached into one of the opened boxes pulling out a small onesie. One that was meant for a baby.

Your heart felt like it shattered.

Yeah, maybe you should have minded your business.

Tag List: @dixie-elocin @liannafae @toodlesxcuddles @watercolorskyy @zenka69 @bellaisasleep @namelesslosers @tssf-imagines @xcharlottemikaelsonx @yourbane @beary-rambles @a-beaverhausen @lightblindingme

[eamour]

daydreaming and imagining

when it comes to manifesting, people like to either daydream or imagine their desires which does sound like pretty much the same. nevertheless — it's not. daydreaming does not equal imagining, vice versa.

daydreaming

meaning · thinking of your desire

to daydream replaces the term "thinking of your desire". when you are daydreaming, you occupy a state of mind where you view yourself as well as your desire separated from each other. you could also say that you only pass through your desired state without truly embodying it and end up going back to your old dwelling state (wavering). you don't claim to have your desire, nor do you declare yourself to be in possession of it. you feel distant to it, almost as if it's impossible, unrealistic or illogical to achieve. you are desiring, aware of wanting your desire, craving and longing for the feeling, making you experience the lack of it. you feel uneasy about how your current reality looks like as you are waiting for some sort of movement or shift. you are dissatisfied about the present moment and view your manifestation as a target you need to aim for, perceiving it as a goal to attain. internally, you know that your desire hasn't been realised yet and wonder how it could possibly materialise. you analyse and examine your outer world a lot, judging it by its looks. you often ask yourself if your desires are ever gonna unfold. thus, you rely on the evidence of your senses, using the 3D as a tool to validate you. by waiting for its confirmation that you ask for so desperately, you automatically assign meaning and also power to the outer world. you let the physical world determine and dictate your mental world. by doing so, you give away control, but still continue to feel responsible and guilty. you repeatedly spiral, wondering what you could be doing wrong, not having full faith or trust in yourself. you don't quite believe in yourself and tend to give in. you endure the 3D as best as you can but often times, you consider your desire to be out of reach. you dream of the mere possibility and depend on the next moment you feel a motivational boost. frequently, you start to doubt, feeling uncertain and unsure about your ability to manifest. you find yourself feeling incapable and scare away from seemingly "big" wishes and wants. you feel needy, irritated and confused. you fight feeling resistant or pressured towards how you want your life to be like. you are afraid that you might never manifest your desired life.

imagining

meaning · thinking from your desire

to imagine can be used as a synonym for "thinking from your desire". as the term says, when you imagine your desires, you think from the point of view where you have them already. you experience them and live life from having whatever it is that you desire. you occupy the state of your wish being fulfilled, knowing and accepting that what you want already exists within you. you understand that nothing can exist outside of you and that life happens from you, so you trust yourself, believe in your capabilities and have faith in the law. you feel calm, confident and content as you are fulfilling your inner self, leaving the outer world as it is. you don't feel the need or the urge to change or control the 3D. there is simply no need for you to stress, worry or struggle. you understand that everything is yours, creation is finished and it all exists already. all you do is step into the state of having and being, living in the end where you got it all. you are one with your desire, you are connected to it as well as all the other contents of your reality. your desire has now become a part of you and you are free to chill, relax and to surrender. you have full trust that your desire will and has to unfold exactly how you want it and don't disturb your inner peace by overanalysing or unnecessary questioning. you don't need to rely on external proof, making your state of being depend on the outer world. you are the owner of your desire, the owner of your reality and stay unbothered by any physical circumstance. you are unaffected by anything that isn't favourable for you and refuse to be led on or negatively influenced. you remain living in your imagination, declaring it to be your one and only reality. whenever you desire something, you know that you don't go outside of yourself, searching for what is already within you. anything you could possibly seek, exists in your mind.

with love, ella.

[creature-wizard]

Found some stories from people who realized their SRA/repressed memory therapists were a bunch of quacks. Lots of CWs for talk of severe abuse and some occasional disturbing activities. If you can stomach it, it's worth a read because it shows just how bad these therapists could get with malpractice and quackery. If you don't want to read the whole thing, here's some key takeaways:

Many therapists just decided their patients had repressed memories. The patients were not allowed to question or disagree with this. The therapists basically flexed their professional authority and told them they were just in denial. Former patient Deborah David described her own experience as being like constantly told that she had once seen a bear climbing a candy cane, told that other people had seen bears on candy canes, and constantly being asked leading questions about her experiences with bears on candy canes, and told that she was in denial if she said she'd never seen one.

Not all patients appear to have been put under hypnosis, but the therapists' insistence that terrible things must have happened to them and their insistence that the only way to heal was to "remember" all of it basically had a number of patients just imagining up all the horrible scenarios they could think of. Former patient Laura Pasley realized after getting out that a number of her "memories" actually came from the book Sybil, the movie Deranged, and from a story she'd written when she was seventeen.

(Worth noting here that a study showed that people who believe they have past lives are more likely to forget where they learned information. It would make a lot of sense if many people who "remembered" SRA under therapists like these have the same issue.)

Many patients were told that their bodies stored memory of this alleged repressed trauma, and any physical sensation they felt was a "body memory" surfacing. So for a hypothetical example, someone who experienced an aching ankle might be told that this is their body "remembering" parental abuse. A patient might imagine a scenario where a parent broke their ankle, and the therapist would treat this as a "recovered" memory.

A number of patients were diagnosed with MPD (as it was called at the time) regardless of whether they initially showed any symptoms. Patients were pushed into "uncovering" these alters that allegedly remembered all the abuse. One patient (Robert Wilson) actually began acting out the alters his therapist told him he had outside of the therapist's office, in some very harmful and destructive ways. (CW for prostitution and animal death if you want to read his story.)

Another patient (Nell Charette) said that while her therapy was ongoing, she had "eight different people telling [her] what to do."

Another patient (Susan) reports:

I mapped an elaborate system, virtually every emotional state or conflicting world view was an alter, plus the male protector and little girl and little boy that went with it. There were sets of 12 for every ego state, complete with names. In the end, I had about 200 "alters." ... Now along with all these alters is the question of how did they get here? Now, we've all heard the story that you can't be this way without severe, repeated, sexual or physical trauma from before you were 5. I'm really pissed about this part, because look how they did this: 1. Your symptoms mean you have MPD, the first step to getting better is to admit this. There is no other thing this could be; if it walks like a duck it's a duck. 2. Since you have MPD, you had to have been sexually/physically/ritually abused. There is no other way you could have this, so you need to admit it to get better. 3. You have to bring these "memories" forward to get better.

This confirms exactly what I've been saying for months: that the mythology of SRA and Project Monarch-type alter programming permits any uncomfortable feeling, any unwanted impulse, and any conflicting beliefs to be attributed to an alter, and therefore to trauma-based mind control, extreme abuse, or whatever you want to call it.

Robert's unfortunate case also confirms that if you go telling a sufficiently unstable person that they have certain alters that do certain things, they will effectively develop them. (This is why convincing a child that they might have a prostitute alter is not only unethical, but also incredibly dangerous!)

If you try and make yourself uncover certain alters, or if someone convinces you that you have them, you will almost certainly "find" them. The simple act of imagining an alter can be enough to make your brain start generating one, or at least something that resembles one close enough to convince people like these therapists.

Many of these former patients describe their mental health deteriorating as their "therapy" progressed. Many who came in without severe issues were completely dysfunctional by the time they left, and if they did have issues when they started, they were exacerbated. This was treated as a part of the healing process, with patients being told that "you have to get worse before you get better" and "the only way out is through."

As retractor Stephanie Krauss put it:

They get hold of this impressive-sounding theory and it goes through some metamorphosis in their minds and is transformed into fact. Then they go treat patients with this new information that only causes more havoc in the lives of persons with normal problems. They have this zeal to treat a disorder that doesn't even exist-at least, not until after treatment starts, and that's when the suffering really begins.

I know brainwashing techniques, and what these people experienced was 100% brainwashing. Each patient had their very sense of self torn apart and each was led to believe that they couldn't trust their own minds. They were led to believe that they had a serious problem that only the therapist - the one with all the power - could fix. They were only "healing" when they complied with the therapist's desires. They were told to cut off anyone who challenged the therapist's narrative.

In other words, the real programmers, the real practitioners of mind control, were the therapists.

[helly-ena]

You said you wrote a 1k word response to someone. Was it about severance? Because I want to read it if it's about severance 🤣🤣

it indeed is... it was part of a conversation with @ichabodcranemills in the replies of this post but i'll copy it here too because i think it is good enough to post independently. so here you go, a 1k monster on why i think helena sees (i)mark as ‘not a person,’ even while falling in love with him (with some further editing):

(1/3) [...]

this discussion is really interesting to me because on the whole I think we understand the show and its relationship dynamics in very similar ways? so I just think it’s fun to poke into where this disagreement (not in a negative way) is coming from, on my part it actually gives me new insight so I like it a lot :)

the fact that this is coming from how we understand her character differently is VERY interesting to me. in some ways I guess it’s a darker take on my part? I actually can see how she would still have sex with mark even while seeing him as subordinate/subhuman (important to note that these two words are somewhat synonymous to her, which is informed by her social position and upbringing, amongst other things).

so for me: she is falling in love with mark (hence why she does feel comfortable around him at the ortbo), and that makes things even more confusing to her because she doesn’t understand her conflicting feelings. I think falling in love with someone she considers subhuman is only the first of MANY steps to dismantling that worldview, which is why I don’t see the ortbo tent sex as consummate of some grand change in her worldview, but only the beginning.

I agree that it’s not about malice on helena's part (which, eeeep, is usually the temper people associate with helly when they map mdr to the four tempers…. much to think about….) tho I think I have a feeling of what you’re referring to when you describe the possibility of her still having sex with mark while seeing him as subhuman as ‘malicious’. personally, it is this... dark moral ambiguity that I find really compelling about her character.

(2/3)

I 100% agree that the tent scene is about the blurring of boundaries. it’s the core part of the scene to me, both in the literal sense (lots of literal boundaries converging like how they’re not on the severed floor but not exactly in the ‘outside’ world either, etc.), and in the personhood sense (organic reintegration adjacent, something about that scene as an act of ummasking where she is neither helena or helly but just her, or at least as ‘herself’ as she has been her whole life). [sidenote: this is why it’s not a cut-and-dry rape scene to me, as it would be for someone who views innies and outies as entirely separate people.]

but at the end of the day, the power abuse and consent issues are still completely interwoven with the scene; it’s only through an abuse of power and lack of informed consent that the sex happened. could it have happened another way? maybe, but that doesn’t erase the reality of how it did happen. considering this, I can understand why some people, for personal reasons or not, might focus on that part predominantly because it is a core part of the scene as well; just that imo focusing on it solely does mean you miss the larger point of the scene (which i’ve talked more about in the post linked at the top). and yeah, it is meant to be an uncomfortable sort of romance, which some people may find compelling (*raises my hand sheepishly*).

I really liked this part of your reply:

I think she doesn't see herself as wrong in deceiving Mark or taking Helly's identity and she still has to confront that, I just don't think that this necessarily stems from her view of the innies a subhuman, but a sort of disenchantment with life that being raised by Jame has given her.

disenchantment is such a good word to describe her relationship with the world, I will definitely be thinking about this a lot lol. and I completely agree with all of what you said here except I think it’s both. because imo that view of seeing other people as subordinate and subhuman comes FROM how jame treats her as subordinate and subhuman (as well as the general lumon mindset of viewing anyone 'beneath' them that way).

(3/3)

fundamentally I think the point we diverge on is how significantly her worldview has changed so far (esp pertaining to 2.01-2.04). to me, she very much still sees mark as a subordinate — both as an innie, and as an employee (which is what I was alluding to when I said she saw innies like him as ‘property’). imo this is why she thought it was okay to stalk (o)mark at the chinese restaurant as well — viewing other people as subordinate goes hand in hand with not understanding or respecting personal boundaries. (she is seen as subhuman/just a tool in her own life by people who then don’t respect her boundaries either.)

[a great point from @oh-god-a-four about this is that all of this doesn't have to be consistent. she could have been going back and forth between “he’s not a person i shouldn’t want this” and “but he likes me for me” the whole time the tent scene was unfolding. i think she has been feeling a LOT of contradictory feelings throughout the time we have spent with her in s2, because this is only the beginning of her journey.]

so one last thing I want to add: while I completely agree that her worldview started being challenged when she saw the markhelly kiss, it is extremely important to me to note that in order to change your worldview, you need an alternate framework to shift TO. (helena doesn’t have that yet.) and when you do, it is not a linear process. you won’t do it perfectly, and it will definitely be slow.

helena has spent 30 years in a cult that isolates her from the rest of the world. she has had very little (if any) exposure to other ways of thinking. her sense of selfhood is so intrinsically tied with her worldview — if she is not an eagan (who sees other people as subhuman), then what is she? and while we’re at it, so is any sense of self worth that she feels. it’s twisted, it’s ugly, and it’s why I don’t think it’s that easy for her to let go of her worldview.

[dutchdread]

Ouch, that's gotta hurt.

Watching Cleriths celebrate NPTK these past weeks, knowing they'll, as always, be proven incorrect has been an exercise in patience. Sometimes it's just clear that you won't be able to convince people of a complex truth when so often discourse is limited to 280 characters. The reason Clerith exists is that people are unable to see the big picture, it survives by people squinting and not seeing the "but" that's located right after every piece of evidence they put forward. This means that you'll often be perceived to be arguing against what is to them the blatantly obvious. It's futile, nuanced argument never wins from emotion, so often you just have to take solace in the idea that "well, it will be fun to see their surprise 4 years from now". So when you get an interview like this, mere weeks after the game releases, which confirms everything that Clotis had been saying about, and had been mocked for, NPTK, you can't help feel a sense of schadenfreude.

Man that's gotta hurt. This is the difference between Clotis and Cleriths. Cleriths don't really like Aerith, because they want to assassinate her character. Rather than a sad tragic tale of a lifetime of love and loss they want to reduce her character to a shallow cliche rom-com about a capricious girl whose fickle affections change by the hour. The fact that the first person Aerith starts developing feelings for after 5 years of pining after Zack is a man who is almost literally channeling Zack becomes a meaningless coincidence in the story. The fact that she knows Cloud for 2 weeks, most of which is also spent pining over Zack is viewed as confirmation of how special their love is. It doesn't matter that Aerith doesn't even know who Cloud is. It doesn't matter that Cloud is shown to very obviously be in love with another woman. It doesn't matter that Cloud is clearly losing his mind. It doesn't matter that Cloud is constantly show as being apathetic towards her advancements. Even them fighting is recontextualized as "good chemistry" just to avoid facing reality. Usually nonsensical romances are seen as bad-writing, but here the cope makes people excuse all the nonsense as "how brilliantly written is this story? They love each other despite it making no sense, now THAT is romance". Zack is called irrelevant, CC is a "ret-con" and can be ignored, ACC is about how romantic it is to want to die to be with someone. The reason Zack is so predominant in Rebirth is in no way connected to Aerith yearning for exactly the bond he's constantly showing to have with her. The contrast with Clouds apathy means nothing, he definitely isn't there to have some sort of pay-off with Aerith in part 3. Nah, he's just there to give Cloud and Aerith his blessing and to F-off. The reason Tifa is silent and heartbroken at the end has nothing to do with her best friend dying and the man she loves losing his mind. The distance between her and Cloud at that moment is totally not used to illustrate the severity of the situation, or to set-up Tifas importance in the events for part 3. Nah, she doesn't get lines because she's just a side character duh!. That is how they think, every single character and story is assassinated, everything happens only to service Cloud and Aeriths romance, even Cloud and Aerith themselves are pushed through the mud. Screw the death of Ifalna, screw the death of Zack, screw the complexity surrounding Clouds Zack shaped psychology, screw Aeriths childhood and desire for real bonds of friendship, screw even the story of Aerith dying and how maybe, JUST MAYBE, the scenes surrounding Aeriths death have SOMETHING to do with the strong emotions surrounding death rather than just being "a cute romance scene uwu". Never have I seen any story interpretation reveal such rampant hatred for a character as Cleriths reveal for Aerith. To them, Aerith is totally the kind of person who would bond with Tifa, hear the very personal and intimate story about the promise shared between her and Cloud, hear that Cloud thinks that Zack is dead, and not 5 minutes later write a story about how "she loves Cloud and they wouldn't need no promises like that other girl". But sure, I'm the one who hates Aerith, not the people who think this is who she is, but me, the person who assumed she'd be less vile than that and that any song she'd write would encompass more than that. I stand up for her character and get mocked, called an Aerith hater, and called "toxic"....and then you get an interview like this. God it feels good to always have all your positions validated by future content. One has to wonder if the people still arguing for Clerith ever sit back and think "wait, the last 100 times I dismissed these peoples arguments I was proven wrong almost immediately, I am constantly having to shift my goalposts while they're just happily sitting there laughing as they consume media about Cloud kissing Tifa, or proclaiming to become her special existence....maybe I am the delusional one...." God I can't wait for part 3, it will be hilarious.

[barblaz-arts]

Ok I lied, one more Hazbin character ask.🙏

Thoughts on Lucifer, Carmilla, Rosie, and Adam?

Lucifer

I love love love him. Terrible dad tho! Lmfaoo

Genuinely think Charlie let him off the hook too easy for all the neglect imo. It's kinda weird how most of the fandom suddenly thinks he's a great dad. He's okay at best, tbh. Just because he has a gorgeous singing voice(Jeremy Jordan is the fuckin BEST man) and a silly personality doesn't mean everything's swell. I hope the second season further tackles this. I remember someone saying before that Lucifer resembled a dad who accidentally had a baby as a teen and doesn't actually know how to be a father and I haven't forgotten about how accurate that is. Still tho! Great character! I'm not even exactly mad about him being popular, just a little bothered by how he's viewed by most people. I hope the show has him do more than sing a musical number to EARN Charlie's forgiveness

Carmilla

I love her, even if the way her character is written is a little, um, how do I say it? Weird? Doesn't make sense sometimes.

Like how she's a demon Overlord who sells weapons but has a line that goes "I always thought that I would keep blood off my face". So does that mean she's never killed anyone before? Or maybe she swore off killing at some point? If she's only ever taken a life to protect her daughters, what sin did she commit to get her to end up in Hell, with her daughters no less. I have my speculations, but with how little we know about her, speculations don't change the fact that Carmilla is a strangely written character. She has some moments that are just questionable choices from the writers too. Like, how they had Carmilla point out how obvious Vaggie's nature is, making Charlie's feelings of betrayal look a little stupid on Charlie's part. Or how Carmilla sang to Vaggie that she should focus on love and not revenge, even though all Vaggie has ever thought about is protecting Charlie while never showing any signs of even thinking about getting back at Lute. Such a strange character. I hope she makes more sense next season when we get to see more of her, because I truly do love her. If this is never tackled though and I just happen to be overthinking, it's fine. I still like her anyways.

Rosie

A really sweet lady for a, um, cannibal. I can never get behind the fact that she and the other characters eat people RAW though! No matter how beautiful she is, the hotness factor is knocked down as long as you don't clean, cook, and season your food, maam. Nasty.

I hope we see more of her relationship with Charlie though. People keep talking about how Carmilla and Vaggie are similar, but I feel we should talk about her similarities with Charlie too. Throughout the show Charlie is ridiculed and given no respect by her people because of her sweet nature and jolly disposition, but here Rosie is being all those things and yet has a whole town to lead! I hope them meeting is set up to have Charlie learn even more from her.

Adam

Oh man he vexes me lol I don't completely hate him, because he has some funny moments, and kickass songs, and the OG Broadway Beetlejuice voices him, but he's suuuuuch an asshooooole. He's not even the kind of villain that you still like to see and romanticize even when he's evil. At least to me. I think my brother explained accurately why. He hates Adam in fact, and that's because his attitude and personality is too accurate to incels that you can see in real life. I enjoyed him as the first season's villain, but I do NOT want him coming back somehow as a sinner like others want. I want him to stay dead. It's Lute's turn to be the new big bad. I still have Pentious if I want more Alex Brightman anyway.

[yunieful]

midnight stealth (ver 1.1)

synopsis: Saph certainly couldn't let her charge have to be the one to find the brooch. As her guardian, she had a responsibility, a duty. Considering how Sylus has treated them, though, she plans to have some fun with it.

tags: saph did not wanna behave, tho she's kind of a wild card, when u remember past selves sometimes that self just APPEARS, and u spin the wheel of bs suddenly, mechanical limbs mentioned, suggestive if u squint, we do not shake mephisto like a maraca in this, saph knows how to do...things, the self-indulgence continues, only some small angst, shenanigans ensuing, sylus is caught off-guard like One time, very rare for him, luke & kieran obligatory appearance, sylus may just be slightly ooc again, u think i can always read men good??, also he's an angy boy at the start we know that pairing: sylus/original characters, sylus/non-mc character words: 4k

a/n: oh look what we have here i'm just gonna post the smallest bit of lore so this makes a bit more sense LMAO. that's it tho. i needed this thing out of my drafts because i'm beginning to obsess over it. i need to try and post more fics without PANICKING...but too late i post this and flee-

The water is still running, but she doesn’t think it’s for much longer. Her hands dare to peruse through the cabinets, but she doesn’t find anything.

Figured as much.

She’s suspected for a long time already that the brooch has to be on him. Where else would it be? He wouldn’t hide it separated from him. Maybe it’d be among his clothes, she muses, when she strokes the fabrics with her only arm (not made of metal), but she knows better.

He seems to think they don’t know better.

Caw, caw.

Her eyes trail over to the familiar mechanical crow.

“You wouldn’t happen to tell me out of the goodness of your heart?” Mephisto lifts his head up high, turning away. She chuckles softly, smiling. “I understand. It’s probably best you don’t. A pretty bird shouldn’t worry himself with these deals.” Gently, she places a gloved hand under his chin, giving it a few scratches. Mephisto makes noises that sound pleased. “I doubt compliments would sway you, but I still mean it.”

A noise is heard in the shower, and her hand quickly leaves the crow’s chin. She hides with the same speed. Typically, it’d be as a creature, but based on what’s happened the other three times—she’s running out of choices.

Sylus steps out of the shower, and she can’t deny she’ll take a peak, letting her eyes wander.

She knows some part of her, deep down, finds it strange. Strange that he isn’t covered in scales, no tail, no wings, or horns on his head. He likely got good at hiding it, like Saph and the others have with their own. Though not all of us have all that.

Some water droplets trickle along his skin, and her view makes an emphasis on the bit of chest she saw, trailing down to his abs. He’s still incredibly fit. What she’d give to trail the last of her claws she has down his chest—the predator in her needs to calm down.

No dawdling. She breathes deeply and blinks rapidly, as if it’ll fully push those fantasies away. I should just leave now and come back later. I can’t do much right now.

The phone rings, and she stiffens.

By the shadow…

Of course she turns to watch Sylus answer the phone, curious as to who is even calling him at this hour.

“Mr. Sylus, we found a list of all the attendees from that night at The Nest,” some man says on the other line.

Her brows rise, while Sylus hums.

“About that night…”

It might be best to try to listen in. As a guardian, she needs to find out if this has anything to do with her charge.

Her steps fight to be as quiet as they can be, when these mechanical limbs aren’t exactly easy to try and sneak with. 

Clink.

She sighs heavily. That particular step was too loud.

A catched breath, and she quickly turns her head to find Sylus looking down at her—very amused by her presence. He’s smirking.

Of course he is.

“Mr. Sylus?” The person on the other end asks.

Sylus’s response is quick, not looking away from her for one second. “It’s nothing. Just a stray cat who happened to barge in.”

“A cat?”

She’s lifted into the air as the familiar black and red mist wraps around her wrists too.

“Tying people up has always been a kink of yours, hasn’t it?” She makes sure to practically purr this from her lips. While she may be the one tied up, she can still have some amusement of her own.

“Uh.” The person over the line sputters. “I-I’ll leave you alone now…!”

Sylus scoffs, but he doesn’t say anything while setting her down.

Saph merely shrugs.

“This is the fourth time we met since last night, kitten.”

That’s the nickname he’s taken to calling her, it seems. Nova took it very poorly (for good reason), and then Sylus had mentioned off-handedly during one of the few friendly discussions they had that a particular client he worked with took it even worse than Nova did.

She could guess easily on who that was.

Didn’t stop him from trying it on someone else, though, clearly.

“I’m surprised it’s still you,” he also mentions while perusing his vinyl records.

“You set a time limit for finding the brooch, but you didn’t say how or who needed to find it.” Her next words are sure, confident. “I doubt I’m breaking any rules.”

“Do I need to remind you about your so-called ‘methods’ from before?”

No, he didn’t have to.

The first attempt had been, of course, in her cat form. A form she had been proud to learn through her grandmother’s teachings. Being able to excel at least in this form of magic, if nothing else, proved useful. A cat had been a more difficult form to achieve when she was young, in comparison to becoming a mouse (or rat), or even her most notable—the white raven.

She’d been able to look through a few cabinets and under places until he caught her. Dragged her out and placed her outside his room. (She’s sure he debated throwing her out.)

The other form had been a mouse, and she couldn’t help but peruse his books and records out of curiosity, till he found her in the middle of cleaning. She sat atop of his feather duster, and he shook his head while trying to fight a smile, setting her down outside.

And the very last time had been as the white raven.

That had just been for fun. She figured already he’d keep the brooch on his person somewhere. She got to make a noise and spook him ever so slightly.

Somewhere along the way the brooch hadn’t been the only goal. Besides wanting to keep Nova safe and away from him (for now), she couldn’t help but be curious with some things he has or does in this life now. He really loves music, for one thing, and a part of her wonders if that has anything to do with a certain person or two. Another thing is discovering a boxing book or two among his belongings. Making her wonder if there can ever be a time he and Nova spar at one point.

If he stops acting like this.

She can easily guess why he is.

“Have I underestimated your determination or overestimated your intellect.”

That isn’t even a question, especially with the clipped tone he’s using.

“You’re the one who struck a deal.” Her head tilts at him, eyes narrowed. “You haven’t been enjoying my little visits? I swore the very last one had you tickled.”

His own eyes narrow back. “Ravens are not the same as crows.”

“No, but they’re still a corvid.” Her eyes fixate on a part of his chest. Nope, stop it. Concentrate. “Both very smart.”

“And yet not always smart enough to find certain trinkets.”

Saph chuckles lowly at that. “I’ll find it when I want to.” Just a bit longer like this, and perhaps she can—

The feeling is always like ice trailing up her arm, seeping through her veins. After a sharp breath, she struggles with the mist enough that it breaks apart, when willing it to loosen.

Sylus’ eyes widen, and she stands to her feet.

“This raven will find this crow’s treasure soon.” Her lips form a bright smirk. “Best be prepared for it.” While turning on her heel, she says, “Don’t worry, I can see myself out.”

Saph doesn’t give him any opportunity to respond. Her face loses any form of amusement when she turns away, breath slightly shaky when she closes the doors to his room.

That was a very rare opportunity, she thinks, while looking down at her hands. They tremble slightly, while the mechanical one twitches a little.

Just breathe, she tries to remind herself. Black wisps rise from the mechanical arm, but she’s quick to breathe again and have that dissipate.

She is truly running out of choices. Spreading herself thin from these encounters.

Glancing over at the closed doors, her right hand tightens and forms a fist against her chest.

The next time she goes in there, that will be it. She will get that brooch, no matter what.

“Whoa, are you okay?”

Saph blinks while sharpening her sword. They had come in earlier, but for what she had no idea. She didn’t mind the company anyway. A small pang would form in her chest when thinking of what they remind her of, but she never lets it go any farther than that.

Kieran makes a gesture to her face. “Your eyes…”

Her right hand rises to brush against her cheek. When she brings it down, she sees a familiar black goop.

Such a delayed response this time….

She smiles, and she tries not to think too hard on how unsettling this must look. “Of course. Don’t worry about it.” Grabbing a handkerchief from her pocket, she dabs at her eyes before sniffing. The black liquid creates such a massive stain on the cloth, as per usual. Yet she just sighs quietly and places the dirtied handkerchief back in her pocket.

This is another warning that it is truly her last chance to get the brooch from Sylus. Nova needs to attend that auction. Saph doesn’t care to go. Not even for the core that exists in her own eye.

“Are you planning to kill him for your next attempt?” Luke jokes, because it’s clear Saph will not elaborate on why her eyes are doing this based on her breezy response. And she would straight up ignore any questions if there is anything else going on with her eyes. Best to change the topic.

She snorts, pushing back some long white hair strands back over her shoulder. “Not this time.”

Out of her peripheral, the twins look at each other. Despite the masks, she can easily guess they’re scheming something diabolical over there.

“If you want to do something else then,” Kieran starts, and she looks back up with a raised brow, “maybe we can help you.”

Saph fully stops her sharpening, flipping the blade about before placing it back in its sheath at her side. “Do tell.”

“If you want to conquer our boss’s heart, you’ll have to use a different approach.” Luke leans back in his seat, then he pulls out a book. Saph’s brow rises even higher when he opens it to a certain page. “‘For some people, they get bored once they have everything. So only those who dare to challenge their authority can catch their interest.’”

Well, that won’t be hard.

She walks over, her metal clinks loud within the room.

“‘When you’re dealing with such a person, you bow down and submit or take them out in one go. In other words—’”

Humanity & Conquest. Where do they get this stuff?

Where did they even get such a book? How did it catch their eye?

Before she can think further, a noise on the table catches her attention. Looking down, there’s a pair of handcuffs and a gun that’s splashed with light blue, pink, and black for colors. Immediately, she grabs hold for the gun, and she tries to hold in her laughter when she turns it back and forth.

Then she looks at the boys, especially when Luke is posing with his hands to look scary or like he’s about to pounce.

“Strike when they’re off guard!” They say at the same time.

They go back to their normal poses, and Saph can’t help but shake her head with a small smile on her face.

“Boss is the least guarded when he’s sleeping,” Kieran says.

Luke holds a finger up in emphasis. “You only have one shot. Don’t waste this chance.” Then he forms a fist in encouragement. “Just do it!”

Three hours later seemed like a better time than any to enact her plan.

He’s only ever waited a lifetime, I’m sure.

He could wait a little longer, if needed.

She took both the gun and the handcuffs from the boys. They certainly whipped up an interesting story, but she knew they weren’t true. Cuffs that suppressed your Evol for an hour or two to render you helpless? Please. Even just touching them, she knew they were just ordinary everyday handcuffs.

I’ll think of something.

As for the gun, well, maybe there’d be a use for it. She’s not a hundred percent sure yet.

Opening the doors as slowly and quietly as she can, she moves through and shuts them behind her.

Sylus seems to be asleep, but if he is—it looks so uncomfortable.

There’s no pillows he’s lying against. His neck will absolutely get sore like this (if it isn’t already).

And yet, when she calls for his name, he doesn’t react. He just breathes and keeps his eyes shut. The expression on his face is so serene, not a worry in the world.

As if he hasn’t spent the past few days being difficult with them both.

“He has no clue we remember,” she says quietly. “Even if we didn’t, it gives him no right to act like this.” She swiftly climbs over the bed, straddling him between her legs. Her hands pull the handcuffs back out, practically from nowhere, but there’s black tendrils following before they appear normally. It’s a risk, but she’s willing to do what she must to at least guarantee Nova gets to the auction. With some whispered words, almost kissing the handcuffs as she says them, they have the black, smokey tendrils wrap about them before returning to normal.

She feels a little cold, a little winded, but there’s no point in thinking that right now. If there isn’t that black liquid practically oozing from her eyes and nose—and she’s still conscious—she’s fine.

Fearing what he’ll do isn’t something she ever considers. As much as she doesn’t like he’s acting this way, she certainly understands. So she doesn’t cuff both of his wrists, only just one to the headboard of his bed. Once there’s a small click, she narrows her eyes at his black and red robe.

The second her fingers trail along the lining of his robe, her wrist is quickly snatched.

“Showing up uninvited at this hour…. Want me to tell you a bedtime story?”

Sylus lets go of her wrist. It’s so unexpected, she just lets it fall.

“Obviously, I’m…”

Saph trails off, then she remembers again why she’s here. A smirk slowly forms on her face, and her right hand presses against the headboard right next to him. Her left hand follows on the other side. Almost like a predator locking in their prey, rendering them helpless.

But she knows better.

Sylus was never helpless and never will be.

He can easily handle himself, but she never wanted to be responsible for keeping him truly captive in some way.

She just has to play her role, and then Nova should have her opportunity. That’s when she knows she’ll have succeeded.

Whatever it takes.

She tries not to imagine her late grandmother rolling her eyes at her. (“Don’t give up everything for your charge unless absolutely necessary.”)

Well, this is a bit necessary. They have an Aether Core to locate.

“You should be the one to figure out what’s going on here.” Her mind flashes back to a different time, a different place. Just for a second. The imagery of two dragons, one black and one white, finding solace in each other when the world hated them. Sometimes the white dragon had the upper hand; other times, it was the black dragon. But they enjoyed it, finding it fun when they were together, along with others that were also cherished.

Moments like that remind her why she is not so surprised in reality, when he merely stares at her, not the least bit alarmed or scared. A part of her dares to wonder if he’s even relaxed, remembering a different time and different life, just as she is.

The jingle of the cuffs completely snaps her out of it. “Cuffs are stunting your Evol, in case you’ve been wondering why you haven’t been able to use your mist against me.”

He spares a glance at them, still not looking panicked, before turning back to her. “Really? What do you plan to do since I’ve become your prey?”

“Find the brooch for Nova, of course,” she answers easily, already having one hand trail along his shoulder, which is where his eyes flit to. “But I know you won’t just hand it over, no matter how nicely I ask.” With a mocking smirk, she tilts her head. “May I?”

He mirrors her smirk, but it’s far more amused than mocking. He gestures to himself with his free hand. “Help yourself.”

Now her other hand is away from the headboard. “Why thank you. You’re so kind.”

Something deep within already suspects she knows where it is, but there was nothing wrong with a little teetering along the edge. Playfully nipping, so to speak, in the way of conversation.

“From the beginning, you trapped us here, forced me to resonate with you once you discovered Nova couldn’t do it, and even said we’re ‘the same’.” Ironic, since she’s not the one with half his soul. Her right hand runs along his side, the left one now just resting on the bed when finding nothing on that side. “One wouldn’t treat a stranger like that, so…”

Her gaze is directly at him. “You must hate us. Hate her. Hate me.”

Hate Nova for cursing Sylus with immortality. Hate the both of them for showing up, looking like they don’t remember a thing. Hate Saph for acting overly familiar, toying with him so freely and not being the slightest bit intimidated by him. Hate them both for showing, after all this time, his efforts were for nothing. Just a waste of time.

When that is anything but the truth.

Sylus doesn’t say anything for a second, and nothing in his expression really changes, but it doesn’t discourage her. “Astonishing misunderstanding,” he says.

That makes her deeply chuckle. “Certainly. In fact—”

Once she’s planning to trail his other shoulder with her hand, a choked sound escapes her. A pang resonates in her chest, feeling like a sharp piece of ice is digging its way in. She breathes deeply, grinding her teeth together while turning to the side.

“Cat got your tongue?”

He’s still making jokes, even when she’s like this, but all it does is make her laugh, which inevitably brings up a cough. The enchantment hasn’t even been going on for that long. Yet she has to take out her handkerchief again to cough into it, because she felt the sludge rising again. She checks her nose and even her eyes, but thankfully there doesn’t seem to be anymore of the black liquid oozing out other orifices.

Saph catches her breath eventually, placing the handkerchief away and turning to face Sylus again.

She swears, for just a second—just a split second—he looks concerned.

But then it’s gone, replaced by what she guesses just to be indifference at this point.

With a wave of her hand, the cuff unlocks, and black mist rises from it before dissipating.

She expected Sylus to grab her by now with his Evol, but instead his hand falls, and he stares at her questionably.

“You’re letting me go?”

Saph nods. “Why, yes, because I just realized something.”

If a treasure is important enough, it would be kept close.

“I don’t need to restrain you,” she continues.

Very close.

Her hands trail delicately around his chest. Sharp claws once trailed there, admiring draconic beauty. Still beautiful, no matter what he is. “I know exactly where you’d keep it now.” Her fingers slide across to his robe, with her lips moving against his ear. Her voice is low, smooth, sultry. Hoping to have it sound like silk against his skin. “Somewhere close,” she searches under the lining, “to your heart.”

The brooch is grabbed, depicting a crow on the border with a red gem as the main piece.

“Huh,” she takes a moment to admire it once she pulls back enough, twisting it back and forth. “Red. Like,” she dares to spare a quick glance, “rubies, I see.” And she makes sure to look right into his eyes when she says that.

It barely takes a second for realization to cross his face.

Then another to grab her wrist and flip them around, with her under him instead.

Her breath only hitches slightly, but she’s staring resolutely, knowing full well what she just said to him. What it meant.

“You remember?”

The hope that dares to twinkle in his eyes. It’s small, but she can spot it. No more resentment against her, no anger, no irritation.

Oh, but they can’t do this. Not now.

I’m not ready.

She feigns confusion. “Remember what?”

She ignores the pang in her chest.

He narrows his eyes, irritation returning in its familiarity. “You—”

It’s that moment, when Saph decides to do at least one more thing that she hopes won’t send her coughing (or worse). She reaches into the shadows, finding the gun she put away, and makes sure to place it right into her free hand.

Aiming next to Sylus head, she pulls the trigger.

LOVE.

In such a lovely shade of pink, shaped into a heart.

How sweet.

She giggles, just finding it absolutely amusing how Sylus seems to have been caught off guard for a second. He’s right back to glaring at her, though, and she just shrugs and glances at her right hand. The brooch is held tight, with Sylus’s hand practically eclipsing hers.

“Well, aren’t you gonna put it on me?”

A part of her can’t deny it is fun. To act playful with him, like she would in another time, making sure to gently tease and bite, because laying bare the entire truth? No, it’d just make things worse. Hurt them both.

She has a duty to fulfill, and she can’t abandon it.

When did that duty include locking your heart away?

The thought is quickly snuffed from her mind. Her right hand opens fully, and Sylus grabs the brooch, releasing a sound between scoffing and laughing under his breath. She’s not sure if he’s annoyed at all or not, but she dares to hope he enjoyed it. Just a little.

“I thought you said this was for Nova,” he starts placing it on her anyway.

“It’ll be easier to carry. I only have one actual hand, you know.”

A poor excuse, in actuality.

But she thinks saying she just wants his hands on her would be taking this way too far.

And, no, she will not question how true that is for her or not.

“So, does this count as passing your test?” She continues after he puts it on. Now she’s able to sit up while he sits some ways from her, not completely above her anymore. “One of us achieved the goal, after all. I say it counts.”

He scoffs, shaking his head, but there’s a ghost of a smile on his face. “Barely. The auction is about to start, but what will happen after that…”

“Nova will be ready for whatever is going on down there.” She will never underestimate her charge. “Just don’t give me a reason to shift into human form during.” Because it’s already a given that she will be there, just not as a human.

“Deal.” Without turning to her, his eyes glance down to the brooch. “Don’t lose this brooch. It proves you’re allowed to come and go in the N109 Zone as you please.”

“Me?” She frowns. “Nova’s the one going with you.”

He raises a brow. “Are you actually saying you won’t be there?”

Oh, he’s definitely teasing her this time.

Saph rises from the bed and clicks her tongue. “I believe a crow needs a raven on his trail. But, first, we must send for the dove.” She turns and walks out, relieved that she’d finally been able to get that brooch. Now Nova could attend the auction, and they could continue with the mission.