#You can only make sense of what exactly happened in some parts when you view it frame by frame

[fuckyeahisawthat]

Controversial opinion among Dune book fans maybe, but I loved the changes they made to Chani's character. Making her a fedaykin who is already an experienced fighter before Paul arrives was a brilliant choice. Dune Part Two is a war movie, and this puts her at the center of the action, side by side with Paul, and gives her a much more active role than she has in the book.

We got a hint of where things were going in the beginning of Dune Part One. The first thing we ever know about movie Chani is that she's a fighter. She serves as a voice for the Fremen, telling us the story of their struggle from her point of view. I wrote here about the difference this change makes compared to other adaptations of Dune, what a perspective shift it is to have the world of Arrakis introduced not by an outsider, describing it as a dangerous but valuable colonial prize, but by one of its native inhabitants, who tells us before all else that it's beautiful, her home that she's fighting to liberate. I am so, so glad that the second movie followed up on this characterization.

I never found Chani and Paul's love story in the book particularly convincing, because why would this woman, who already has a prominent and respected place in Fremen society, even give the time of day to her deposed would-be colonizer, let alone fall in love and have children with him? Without a compelling reason for Chani to love Paul, she ends up feeling like a prize to be won, and "indigenous culture personified as a woman to be wooed (or conquered) by the colonizing man" is a trope we've seen and don't need to repeat.

But as soon as you tell me it's a barricade romance I get it. Cool cool cool, I know exactly what this relationship is now and it makes sense. Movie Chani doesn't respect or even particularly like Paul when she first meets him, and she doesn't think he's the fulfillment of any prophecy. She comes to respect him, and eventually love him, through his actions. He's brave--sometimes recklessly so. He fights well. He's willing to stick his neck out on the front lines with the other Fremen fighters. He can (after a little help) hack surviving in the harsh desert environment. He's not too proud to learn from others. He seems to genuinely want to be her equal in a common political struggle. All these qualities make sense as things she values.

Fighting side by side as equals is just about the only way I can see movie Chani falling for Paul. And it fits perfectly with the film's pattern of reversals that Paul's capacity for violence would initially be one of the things Chani likes about him, only for her to be repelled later when she sees what he becomes.

And as for Paul, well, he's had people deferring to him his entire life. Someone who doesn't take any shit from him is probably refreshing. He seems to like people (Duncan, Gurney) who challenge him and engage in a little friendly teasing--and aren't afraid to go a few rounds in the sparring ring.

It's easy to speedrun a romance when you're spending all your time together in mortal danger fighting for a shared political cause. Especially if you then start winning in a war your people have been fighting for decades. Are you kidding me? That is the perfect environment for intense battle camaraderie to turn into romantic love, and lust.

It makes sense that this version of Chani never believes Paul is any kind of messiah. Of course a character like movie Chani wouldn't believe in or trust some outside savior to liberate them. She's been working to liberate her own people for years. The more Paul invokes the messianic myth, the more he starts sounding once again like someone who plans to rule over them, and the more uncomfortable Chani becomes. In this way she becomes a foil to Jessica, the two of them representing the choices Paul is pulled between. It's a great way of externalizing the political and philosophical debates that often happen within characters' heads in the book.

And of course this version of Chani would leave Paul at the end of the film. It's not just the personal, emotional betrayal--although that stings. What common cause does she have with someone who just declared himself emperor and is sending her own people off in a war of conquest against others? Given the important role she plays in Dune Messiah, I am super curious to see how they get her back into the story, but girl was so valid for being willing to just gtfo. Given that she has the last shot of the whole movie, I'm sure she'll be back somehow, and I can't wait to see what they do with her character in any future installments.

[sealedsanctuary]

霹靂封靈島 Pili: Sealed Spirits Island · 2002 - Heng Qian Qiu vs Nv Ya, the Demon Buddha's female body.

[maelancoli]

Writing Explicit Intimacy More Deeply

okay after the kissing post i've wanted to try to write something about actual sexual scenes. it's taken me a while to figure out what approach to take for such a broad subject because this is such a subjective form of writing and everyone has very strong opinions and varying proclivities. the truth is you are not going to please everyone and there will be a chunk of people who will always dislike your choice of words. and so even in writing a post to help others, there's going to be people who strongly disagree or find what i prefer to be cringe or unerotic.

the portrayal of sexual intimacy and the approaches taken are as varied as the sexual preferences, appetites, turn ons and turn offs of every day real people. this can either make you freeze up when writing, or free you to realize there is no 100% right way to approach erotic art and anyone who tells you otherwise is a smartass or trying to sell you something. so with no further ado, this post will be exactly what it sounds like so proceed at your own risk.

i'm going to focus less on style itself and more on approach. the first thing is that you don't need to divorce 'fluffy' non explicit intimacy from sexual writing. the exact same style and techniques you use for non sexual intimacy can often be applied to the sexual scenes too. kissing scenes, the chaste restrained touches filled with deeper desire, the linger looks from across the room, the build up to the first moments of vulnerability, the first few kisses, the first 'almosts' are connected to the sexual scenes themselves. it is all the same emotions and tensions. they're only heightened. and for sex scenes that are produced from these build ups are a simple escalation. you only need to expound upon what you've already built. don't view it as starting new and having to figure out how to write a different topic/moment. it's a continuation and all you need to do is use the tools you've already given yourself.

my second tip is to spend time shaping your character's tastes, kinks, turn ons and icks, their secret fantasies, their red lines they won't cross, their pleasure zones, the places they find attractive on others that they like to focus on and stimulate. if you want your sex scenes to feel real and not like it's just a emulation of generic smut or porn, you have to do what you do for literally anything else to make it not feel bland or contrived: character development.

where does your muse like to be kissed? what parts of their body make them feel stimulated, what parts are the most sensitive? not everything is about genitals. a lot of people like their foreplay to start with groping in varying erogenous zones. some are unconventional, some like their ears licked, they want their wrists kissed and sucked, they just want their partner to hold them close etc. the more you practice and explore what feels right for your character, the easier building on that foundation of tension will become.

if you feel awkward you can write the characters feeling awkward too because it often is. sex isn't always erotic or super steamy. it can be funny and awkward or just a natural physical thing happening between two people. focus less on if it sounds good in the first draft and focus more on if it makes sense for the characters, focus on how this moment makes them feel, where they feel their arousal and excitement in their body, how they respond to each other, what this means to them or what it doesn't mean etc. after you have gotten that down, then you edit it. add the prose, use the language that either make sit feel less crude to you or more erotic or more poetic etc.

lets take eliza and grabriella from last time so we can expound upon their previous interaction

it wasn't like she had never seen gabriella before. the first time they had seen each other outside of a dorm room or stuffy lecture hall was at dance club which was too crowded and too loud and was less 'dance' and more 'stand around and bob heads and take up too much space on the dance floor.' but she did remember what gabriella wore. she remembered her cropped blouse with ruffled sleeves and how she hadn't worn a bra beneath it. she remembered that she did dance. she remembered how effortless it looked. and the shorts which hugged her thighs and formed that little indentation that first made her wish she could tuck her fingers beneath the hemline and tug her close. she had denied those instincts then, those unrealized desires. but she wasn't denying it now. because now gabriella was on her mattress, sitting on her knees in only her bra and lacy underwear which evoked that same feeling. eliza imagined hooking a finger just at the waistline and tugging. butterflies swirled in her stomach and static radiated through her at the mere thought because this time she could do it. "you okay?" gabriella murmured. she was smiling. that smile made her feel all the warmth of the brightest stars which whispered she was meant to be here, with her. "yeah," eliza breathed out. she leaned closer and feathered her lips along the other woman's. even with a trembling hand she reached forth and brushed her fingertips at the edges of gabriella's panties. "i'm okay," she promised. she allowed herself to smile and in doing so realized she was already grinning. "more than okay." "good," gabriella kissed her back, one of her hands sliding into eliza's hair as the other tenderly began to caress her bare thigh. "have you ever...?"

"no," she admitted. heat gathered in her cheeks which were turning pinker by the second. her ears must have looked sunburnt and she had to resist the urge to cover her face. "not really...not like this." a pause. she bit at the inside of her lower lip and glanced up at gabriella's soft features. when their eyes met, she simultaneously felt all her muscles relax again. but those damn butterflies kept fluttering within her. "have you?" "once," gabriella nodded. then she smiled, a shyness in her expression which only made her features glow all the more. she reached down and gently grasped eliza's hand. she rubbed her thumb over her knuckles. "just follow my lead," she murmured. "we'll make up our own steps." she slowly guided eliza's fingers beneath the lacy waistband. and then further. until she felt the damp warmth between her thighs. eliza's breath hitched and she almost forgot how to control her lungs. "i think i can figure it out," she replied with a small smirk before she tenderly rubbed the pad of her thumb against gabriella's mound. when the other woman breathed in deep, almost moaning, she knew this was a dance she would happily memorize.

i put the rest below the cut to help the post from being too lengthy. but essentially here we see a continuation of eliza feeling uncertain in new territory but finding comfort and reassurance in gabriella. she might be nervous, but she has no doubts about this woman she's attracted to. rather than just describing one action after the other or focusing only on the biological responses happening, we're delving into the continuation of anticipation, we're showing the gentle push and pull between them. eliza has the desire to take control and give pleasure to gabriella. but she finds herself needing gabriella's guidance and that's okay.

because they met dancing, we can use dancing symbolism. deciding the contrasting language and euphemisms you want to use for your ship will help you broaden how you write the intimacy beyond the physical.

eliza wants to be more dominant we see hints of it here, but realistically someone who is new to a situation will not be able to go straight into that. but, say that there is continued scenes of intimacy between them, after the first time, we would start to let her slowly explore that. perhaps gabriella would coax it out of her, maybe eliza will surprise her. she'll tug her close by her belt loops, she let herself bite at her rather than just gentle kisses. it will happen slowly and surely. and that is typically also good advice for if you want to include more kinky content. the first time people have sex they're not gonna jump straight into that. even if they're experienced in kink they still have to get to know one another and get a feel for each other's bodies, what they do and don't like, etc.

there's further tension to explore if you utilize those intimate scenes correctly, continuing to build and escalate each time upon the previous moments. don't just jump straight to crazy sex. build up to it. let them explore each other and their sexuality together. that is where the steam comes from, the continuation of tension, the excitement of getting to know one another. don't just steamroll right over opportunities for development and sensuality.

anyway that's it folks bc this post is long af. have fun, write freaky shit, write cute shit, write what makes u happy and horny.

[alwaysshallow]

single mom x price; PART 2

AO3 VERSION

part one || part three || part four

“Please. Be good, alright?”

You look down at your son. He holds his bear close to his chest; defensive, as you sense—you almost sigh at this view. He’s in a bad moment. The moment where he needs no one, but his mom and the cuddles that you normally would give him, if the nanny wouldn’t be on her way.

And it’s his favorite nanny.

You’re reluctant to let him stay in the house, considering not only his humor, but the earlier tantrum that he gave you. Something between ��you’re the worst mother ever”—which only gives you an eye roll, but it’s a potential theme for a cry session later on—and “i don’t want anyone else but you”.

Normally, you’d call your mother that loves him to the core, but given that she’s in Hawaii, not really reachable for you and possibly not in the mood to listen to your problems. She only wants to do it when she’s bored, and if she can give you her “golden advice” without a chance of being cut off by you putting a phone away because she crossed a line.

Which happened too many times in the past, since she just absolutely adored engaging in your life. Reminding you every time that you are responsible for the position you found yourself in and the only thing that could possibly save you is listening to her. Marrying the man that she gets to pick.

Because the mother knows best, as she always says.

The irony of beefing with your son is irritating for you too; especially that you need a nanny for an hour, maybe a little more because you need to go to the town meeting. You could skip it, sure, but it’s like skipping an opportunity; and who knows what will happen. Maybe you’ll get around doing something that will bring money, if they will talk about the spring festival.

Last year you got yourself quite a deal, so the thought is exciting enough for you.

The possibility of meeting John is thrilling, too, even if you don’t want to admit it directly. Everything about this man is electric, enticing enough for you to barely be able to think around him. Something is tingling in your chest, when you think about it. He’s acclimatizing well enough in town too, as you learned—and the town meeting is a good chance to see with whom he’s close.

Animal in a zoo, it would be a good comparison, even if it seems cruel for some reason because John is anything but it.

You get to leave the house after five minutes of talking with your nanny. She’s like an angel, considering that she convinced you to leave, telling you that she’s gonna do alright with your son and his tantrums aren’t really the worst thing that happened in her career.

Which, oddly enough, you believe, without even knowing the details.

You sit in the second row at the meeting. Arms crossed, maybe a little defensive, but you’re not opposed to talking with people that sit near you. They show you photos, talk about their family, ask kindly about yours, until someone mentions a husband when you tell them about a situation from days ago.

Normally, you’d probably make a snarky remark about their comment, saying something how rude it is to point to someone that they need a man, when your point isn’t missing someone to help you around.

That’s normally, if your ears wouldn’t catch that voice. The voice that’s hard to forget even if you’d desperately try to do it. Deep, drawing attention to the owner immediately, like a moth to a flame because the desire to look is impossible to resist. Everyone knows that the appearance does the magic, but if the voice is attractive, most likely is the one who has it.

And that’s exactly John Price.

You observe him only with a corner of your eye, assured that if you’re gonna glance at him once then he’s gonna know where you are. It’s like the seventh sense of his, probably acquired after his job, at least you think that’s the case.

You don’t need that. What you actually want, need, is a small dose of mystery that you currently have without him knowing you’re here.

Maybe that’s not fair, but you don’t care.

He talks mostly with guys from the local workshop; they vigorously explain something to him and he nods. Listens, then responds in such a different mannerism that they represent. Calmer, more stoic, yet it can’t be mistaken with indifference. He’s just… thinking type, you assume. The one who calculates before taking any action.

Wise man, so to speak.

Besides the boring stuff at the community meeting, there’s just one thing that could potentially interest you in—competition for the best garden in town. It has everyone gossiping there and there in a deep hope, or strategies what to do to earn a win; mostly those successful, straight out of family movie moms, ideal moms who are doing everything for their families. Chit-chatter about flowers, techniques and stuff disrupts everything enough to make a meeting come to an end. There’s no point in continuing, when no one listens.

You aren’t even considering the competition, but it gets you enough to think of renovating your garden. Forgotten long ago, as it needed too much work when you had a small kid; right now, when your son is six, there’s way more opportunities for you to actually try to tend it. Who knows, maybe spring is the best time for that.

“So. Gonna snatch that first place reward?” You almost jump, when you feel a hand on your hip. Light touch, but waking you up from your thoughts enough to acknowledge how tender it is. Allowing you to back off easily, if you’d feel like it’s too much.

But you know who this is. And you somehow know that it’s not too much.

“I wish,” you laugh dryly, looking finally at John. He arches an eyebrow, then proceeds to walk back to back with you, no hesitation in his moves whatsoever. “Not really a gardener. Besides, knowing how my garden looks right now… Not really a chance, no.”

There’s a second of silence. “Could help you with that,” he says, fixing his shirt; you give him a quick glance. His outfit isn't really different from the other times. Simple flannel, worn out jeans, combat boots and this well-known, plastered smile into his lips. Charming and dangerous, you think. “I have time, if you really want it.”

You clear your throat, conflicted. Do you really care that much about possibly winning a contest? Maybe John’s help would really do wonders, considering that he already helped a lot of people in the neighborhood; with success that didn’t take much time, as you know.

Kind, nice, doesn’t want anything else in return; could work for you for free. You’re 99% sure that you would bake him a pie or something anyway, but the thought you wouldn’t have trouble with payment is nice enough.

“Maybe. I need to think about it.” He raises his eyebrow, but doesn’t say anything. Instead, he just nods his head in an understanding manner.

“We’ll exchange numbers, then. It’ll be easier,” John announces, giving you his phone. You look at him, dumbstruck—it wasn’t exactly your plan to do this.

“I don’t— Well, I don’t think it’s necessary—”

He barks a laugh, shaking his head. “Nonsense. Come on.” Price smiles; like an angel, truly. Angel in a disguise of a tempting devil because you enter your number into his contacts, even if you wanted to keep it as a secret a little bit more. “Wasn’t so hard, was it? Didn’t think I’m some kind of a creep, did you?”

Your face flushes with pure red, when he implies that. “No! No. I’m just… I don’t use a phone often,” you croak. White lie that don't really need much explanation from you.

“That right,” he muses, possibly amused with your hurried talk. “I’ll call you in a few, then.”

He sticks to his promise, as you learn over the next few days.

The thing is: you don’t pick up.

It’s not like you do it on purpose. At least, that’s what you tell yourself when you see a few missed calls on the phone, the moment you come back from the grocery store. Or, when you’re out in the garden with your kid, planning how it’s gonna change in the future because you’re just taken-aback by how bad it looks. Like it’s not your garden.

Maybe the problem is your lack of courage to call him, too. It would take one click and you’d be done with the task, but somehow, you can’t bring yourself to it. Mixed feelings and the “I can take care of anything” mindset doesn’t help you much.

It feels like a reminder to call back, when you see John outside. He’s in the middle of a discussion with some teenagers that were screaming earlier, disrupting the precious night silence. You thank him in mind that you don’t have to do it—as you got up from bed only for this—you just observe everything behind your window, wrapped in a fluffy robe. You can’t miss the drama, even if it means that you’ll lose a few minutes of your sleep.

Your humor gets better automatically, as you even laugh at how disappointed they seem, going straight up to their homes.

And then, you cross gazes with him.

There’s a faint smile from John. He raises his hand, greeting you, so you do the same. However, the difference in moves is clear. John does it slowly, you almost rush to do it and disappear into your bedroom, so he won’t get an idea that you’re up for a talk.

Because you’re not. You’re too tired to do that, to talk with a man that makes a pretty mess in your head every time you’re around him. And, you’re way too ashamed to do that when he called you multiple times and you haven’t answered even a single one of it.

Some part of you wants to give in and text him right after you see him, but you let this idea flow by. You’re gonna text him at the right moment, you think. The middle of the day, or when you’re gonna see that he works over something, so he won’t be able to read it right away.

You forget about your declaration soon enough. Way too caught up with balancing between home, work and school, you don’t quite realize that the longer you’ll extend the whole thing, the longer it will be over your head.

On Monday, you’re reminded. At first, you don’t really acknowledge it, too irritated that you can’t move your car because someone decided to park behind you, blocking your way. The only thing that keeps you from screaming is your son that does not really care what’s going on. He just sits in the back, playing with his toys, unbothered.

The realization of whose car it is, overwhelms you completely in one moment. You know whose car it is. It’s hard not to, really, when you think about it: there’s only one pick up truck around. The neighborhood is full with families that prefer—most definitely—a car more efficient, a car that has more seats because that’s the only way everyone will fit and ride for football games and all that shit.

The thought you have to ask him out of all people, gives you a migraine.

It’s an awkward thought; the way you have to say something. You haven’t returned any of his calls, treating him like some one night stand (even if it wasn’t the case because you never slept together), and now you want him to move his car. Theoretically speaking, he should do it without even thinking twice.

You can’t help but wonder though, if he’s even gonna acknowledge your plea, given you ignored the shit out of him.

Rude, you think. You’re rude and you did nothing about the calls. About the proposition. You totally ignored John Price, and now you’re embarrassed because you have to ask him something. Maybe if you’d think of calling him back, you wouldn’t even be stressed about this situation. Quick text to him, and there he is, moving his car.

In another lifetime, though. In this, you have to do something else.

After you tell your kid you’re gonna be back in a second, you decide to test your luck and jog into his house, just a few meters away, knocking with a whole monologue in your head. How you need him to move your car because your kid needs to go to school. How you need it to go to the grocery store, you even think of giving him an excuse that you need to go to your mom, even if it’s a straight up lie.

You don’t have to wait long. Door swings open a few seconds later and you can see John, a little bit sleepy and confused—possibly because no one normally wants to see someone at seven in the morning.

He speaks before you have a chance to do it. “So eager to apologize, eh?”

It takes you a few seconds before you stare into his eyes, instead of his chest. “Excuse me?” You blink several times. It’s not like you didn’t understand what he said, it’s just his body that you pay too much attention to. He has no shirt on himself, his sweats low on his hips. Tempting.

You do not look lower than that, for the sake of your sanity. No time for fantasies—and it seems like he knows what you’re thinking, as he smirks with that annoying smugness that he has.

“You haven’t returned my calls,” he says, voice low. Might be the consequence of just waking up, but you think of it as seductive. You’re not gonna rub it into his face though, when he literally has the upper hand in this situation. Wouldn’t be smart. “Thought you’re here ‘cause of it.”

You clear your throat. He’s not wrong, but he’s not right either. “Yeah. We’ll talk about this later, but could you—”

“Why?” John tilts his head. It doesn’t help your case in any way. “We have time, you came here early. Might as well—”

“There’s… a lot going on,” you blurt out, interrupting. You don’t really know if he believes you or not, but he certainly is interested in why. So, before he has the chance to say that, you speak up again, "And you have to move your car first.”

“A lot? You know that I offered to help if something’s too much, right?”

You forget how to breathe for a minute. His tone is hard, a sheer contrast to playful John that was here just a minute ago. Not quite scary, since it doesn’t even sound like a threat, but it is a reminder. Urgent one. “I know, but—"

“None of that. If you need something, you call me.”

“Right now, I need you to fix your car.” Comes out a little bit aggressive. It has Price raising an eyebrow.

“My car seems perfectly good, why would I do that?" John leans against the door frame, looking down at you. You're pretty sure you've never felt smaller than you do now.

Using his advantage to intimidate you is smart. Something that he’s gonna do, if you’re gonna show him that you’re weak for it.

You cough. Trying to be civil here is a necessity, you think. Especially if you actively ignored him before. "Thing is, you blocked my car," you try to explain—calmly, before you run away from him; you even point at your red Mazda, a late birthday gift from your grandfather. "I have to… drive my son to his school."

"I did?" he raises his eyebrow. For a minute, his eyes are off you, attention on the parking lot, trying to search for the problem. Then, he looks at you again. "Mm. Seems perfectly fine to me, love.”

Love. He does it to annoy you, that’s the only reason why he’s so unfazed. Or, he’s trying to achieve something different, but for now, you can’t think straight when this man—half naked man, to be exact—blocks your car’s way, looking good.

Too good.

“I can’t move in any way. You’re… too close.”

“Too close? Could say this sooner—”

“—too close with your car, I mean,” you add, weakly. Price has you stepping on your tiptoes, so careful with picking your words. Precise what you mean because if you’re not gonna do it, he could take advantage and change the meaning.

He chuckles, his smile widening. If he’d be anyone else, you’d think that is a predator move. “Makin’ you all nervous and stressed. Why? Am I this scary, love?”

Again. Again this pet name.

“Just— Can you, please, move your car?” you ask, massaging your temples. He makes you weak in the knees and irritated at the same time; you don’t even acknowledge the steps forward that he makes.

He gets your attention the moment he tips your chin up. This feeling itself is making your stomach jump; skin sizzles with that specific need, deep in your heart that you rather not admit, but it is there. It is there, and John makes it difficult not to melt into a puddle in his hands. Ridiculously warm hands on your skin, to add.

The comfort he brings wraps around you tight like a blanket in particularly cold mornings. Important, needed even, especially in fragile moments. You almost forgot how it feels.

“What car is it? Red mazda?” He breaks eye contact with you for a second to glance once again at the parking lot.

“Yeah.”

He locks his eyes with you again. “Oh, honey. Should say that sooner”

There’s a storm happening inside your head; a strange type of deja vu falls on you like a tsunami wave; unexpected and cruel in some way. Did you not tell him what car is it? That's why he acted funny, so cocky, not taking you seriously? You’re sure you pointed in the right direction, even if you didn’t tell him what car it was. He looked here.

Or maybe he didn't? Why would he lie, though? You might as well be tired, you think. It’s not easy to be a single mom, to balance everything out.

Right?

Storm inside your head makes you ignore the warm feeling in your stomach, when John guides you to the parking lot with his big hand on the small of your back.

“I'm sorry.”

"It's okay. Nothing, really," you gulp. "You're new here, so you might not know my car."

Even if you’re sure you pointed him the direction of it.

“Could know better,” he hums, caressing your clothed skin. Tenderly, afraid to break you in any means. “So, so sorry. Really. And look, now because of me you have to put up with being late. Came home later than usual… If I saw all of that, I’d find a different spot.”

You smile a little, pleased with his explanation. There’s nothing wrong in your mind about this situation, nothing that could indicate that he’s lying. Even if he’s a little too close for comfort, you think it’s because that’s who he is.

He moves his car quickly, while you talk to your kid; he almost didn’t notice your disappearance, too interested in his toys. Even if you want desperately to listen, your brain is too occupied with the previous situation, with Price looking so good without a shirt.

Your son tells you about the “drama” between the elephant and monkey when John comes back into the picture, right before you are about to reverse.

“Everythin’ good now? Nothing else to take care of?”

“Everything’s alright.” You give him another smile. “Thank you, John.”

“No problem.” He glances at your kid, then, back at you. “We’ll have to talk later. About the garden.”

“Yeah. Yeah, we’ll have to.”

[writingicing]

Been reading a lot of posts about how much the ML in When the Phone Rings is too toxic and unromantic and how can he possibly not have learnt sign language if he loved her all this time and all of that... and here is what I think.

I haven't read the book, and although I did see some spoilers, the show might change things up a bit (and as far as we have seen, the changes made in the show has been for the better.) But, I think before judging him for being too toxic, a couple of things need to be considered.

I mean, what's the genre, guys, come on -

Everyone is entitled to their opinion but the whole point of such a story and such a show is to write weird, dark, toxic characters who are fucked up. People aren't finding his not knowing sign language as romantic because to some extent, people are just letting themselves get lost in the story and experience it first.

If that is like a genuine trigger for someone, that is completely understandable. But on the other hand, can't imagine having a stance of only watching perfectly good non-toxic politically correct characters on screen - is that not boring?

And that is the point - he is fucked up.

The way I see it, it makes sense that he has not learned sign language to communicate with. Like others have been posting, I don't think he intended to ever have a proper relationship with her.

We have only seen hong hee joo's backstory and we've only seen some of it, but because of this we have an understanding of her behavior and where it comes from.

Don't we at least owe that to baek sa eon as well?

People who are fucked in the head don't always know how to love someone best. And that's okay. I don't think that the drama is saying, "hey look we are going to romanticize another husband who won't get his shit together until his wife threatens to leave him." I think the drama is trying to say, "hey, look at both of these fucked up people who have spent so many years together refusing to communicate with each other and refusing to open up."

I find that to be one of the most interesting parts of the show actually - that BOTH of them have refused to open up to each other. She hasn't opened to him in the way she hasn't opened up to ANYONE because her mother forced her to go mute and took her agency away... her mother took her right to being herself away from her, and so she is as much fucked up as he is.

And for him, it seems like his own right to be himself has been taken away as well.

While it is absurd that he hasn't attempted to learn sign language until now, I think this dialogue gives a lot of insight into how he views her in her life: "She is a brand new language."

When you don't know who you are, when you don't know how to love, when you don't know how to receive love, when you are only a fraction of your own self, would you really learn a new language? You might have that book on your shelf... it might give you comfort... it might even give you hope that you will pick it up one day to learn it... but there might still be fear within you to commit, to put effort, to approach something as scary as learning a new language (and I don't just mean sign language, but hong hee joo herself.)

Is he objectifying her in a way? Yes, he is. But he is living an objectified life as well. This is his normal, this is the worldview that he has been taught, and nothing ever has given him the hope that taking a step, a risk, will lead him to something good.

And that is exactly what is finally happening right now. I don't think he's even seen her emote, let alone resist - I mean, he seems surprised to see her angry, to see her cry, to see her make noises, to see her be so confident in her skillset, to see her challenge him. I don't think either of them have ever had stupid playful annoying moments like switching the light on and off, her stealing back her pillow from under his head, them having a tug of war with the trash bag. They have never experienced each other this way and he has especially never experienced her in this way. I don't think he has experienced anyone in this way.

So yeah, he didn't learn it before. But the best way to bridge a communication gap is to reach across it yourself. I don't even know if he's realizing it, but to pay for her dad's new care home is taking power away from her mother....to tell her she needs to stop thinking about what their family will say and go get a job next to him, publicly showing herself right by his side as his EQUAL (not just his trophy wife, mind you) when their family has been asking her to quit her job... to bring her favorite food and telling her comforting words to the best of his abilities... to defend her worth to a random kidnapper bitch... all of this is his way of reaching across that gap himself. And now she is reciprocating, she has accepted that job and she is going to teach him how to communicate with her... she is going to teach him how to learn and understand HER, who is a brand new language for him.

And yeah, alright, maybe he didn't reach across that gap until her safety was actually threatened. But sometimes, when you're so numb to yourself and to the world around you, you need cold water splashed on your face, you need an explosion by your ears to wake you up. Maybe he needed this rude awakening as not only a warning, but a sign that he can indeed go ahead and make a connection with her. That she is real and she won't hurt him, and that he can maybe even trust himself not to hurt her.

Not everyone is perfect, not everyone is created with only green flag qualities. And hong hee joo never has to forgive him, she doesn't have to do anything - but no one can deny that she can forgive if he has earned her forgiveness.

[phthalomushroom]

The Family (5)

last next

pairings: modern!mafia!aemondxreader

summary: You had left Kings Landing and the Targaryen family four years ago. Now back and living with your old roommate you realize that the life you had thought you escaped had seemingly been waiting for you. But will the family really let you go? Will the people you left behind forgive you? Can you forget the past and look to the future?

warnings: language, mentions of trauma, stalking, mention of injury

word count: 1.8K

note: I am so sorry for the late post, the words were just not wording and I needed more time to figure out what I wanted to be said. But I finished this chapter and I hope you all enjoy!

Baela and you had split up only a couple of hours ago. She had gotten a call and had needed to leave right away. You had asked what was going on but she assured you everything was fine before leaving.

You still had some errands to do, which lead you across the city to the East side. By the time you finished it had gotten pretty late. Most of the stores were closed and the taxi services were no longer in commission. You looked at your phone to see when the next train was, seeing that you needed to make it fifteen blocks in order to catch the last train for the red line. You began walking, taking in the cool evening air when you had an odd, gut feeling that something wasn’t right.

The streets were a little too quiet, which was never the case during this time. Usually there would be groups of people out walking, people on their balconies laughing but tonight there was just…quiet. You took a look over your shoulder to try and ease your thoughts only to see the man Daemon had mentioned earlier following you.

You looked forward, picking up the pace as you turned the corner. You thought that maybe it was a coincidence but that would be impossible. There were no coincidences in this city, you of all people should know that. 

You were made keenly aware that you were nowhere near your apartment nor the train station and there was no way you were going to end up in a subway possibly cornered. You were up on the East side, a side that you didn’t venture much on your own, meaning you were very unfamiliar with it. This was supposed to be a safe part of the city since the rich and high class lived here, there  was no way something would happen to you.

Clearly not, as the footsteps behind you got louder, making you instinctually speed up. 

This shouldn’t be happening, Daemon should have intervened by now. Unless that whole conversation was just to get under your skin, to throw you off. 

What a prick. 

However as much as Daemon was a prick you weren’t willing to find out if he was a liar.

You had grabbed your mace out of your bag, your body going into autopilot as your senses tried to assess how close this man was getting to you. You took a turn ending up on a familiar cobblestone street and realized exactly where you could go. You turned down another corner, heading for the brownstone at the end of the street. 

You took the stairs two at a time, repeatedly knocking on the door quickly as you watched from the corner of your eye as the man continued to approach. 

The heavy wooden door opened to reveal a shirtless and very confused Aemond Targaryen. 

“What-”

You wrapped your arms around him, pushing your way inside as you pushed him up against the wall and out of view of the street, kicking the door shut. You peaked through the side window, moving the curtain to see the man that was following you get picked up by a black Audi before speeding away. 

“Happy to see you too.”

You looked up to see Aemond smirking at you. You quickly pulled away, taking a couple steps back as you shoved your mace back in your bag. “Your guard dog take the night off?”

Aemond’s eyebrows furrowed, noting what was just in your hand. “Huh?”

“Someone was following me. I thought Daemon was on protection detail.”

His face twisted before he grabbed your hand, taking you up the stairs of the foyer and into the kitchen. He grabbed his phone off the kitchen island.

He started scrolling through contacts. “Help yourself to anything you want, I have to make a call.”

“I think I’ll just go-”

“Sit.”

You instinctively took a seat at the island, watching him walk around the corner to where his office was. You rolled your eyes at yourself, right back here and right back into your old ways. 

You set your shopping bags on the ground and put your coat over your chair heading over to the oven where something was simmering. It looked like Aemond had just finished making some mac n’ cheese.

He did say help yourself.

You grabbed a bowl from the shelf and supplied some golden crescents to your bowl. You had just sat down and taken a forkful to your mouth when Aemond came back in, with a shirt on, as he tied up his hair into a low bun.

He looked kinda pretty as a few of the shorter strands framed his face. 

He smirked, noting you had been staring. “Eating my food already.”

You blinked, looking away. “You said help yourself.”

“Indeed I did.” He grabbed a bowl, joining you across the island.

It was silent for a while, both of you eating your portions. It felt… normal. Like old times, a chill went down your spine at that. You needed to change that.

“Everything okay?”

Aemond’s face darkened. “It will be.”

“Is Daemon-”

“He’s being taken care of by the family doctor.”

You nodded. “The same one who stitched me up?”

His eyes met yours before quickly looking at the counter, he cleared his throat. “Yeah.”

You put your fork down, sitting back in your chair crossing your arms. “I’m going to need an explanation.”

He mirrored your stance, leaning back against the counter. “I don’t think that's a good idea.”

You started getting up. “Then I’m leaving.”

“No.” He reached over the counter to grab your hand. 

You looked up at him. “You were a real asshole the last time we spoke, you know that right?”

He let out a sigh, letting your hand go. “I know. I… I didn’t expect to see you and I was drunk.”

“You never acted like that while you were drunk before.”

“That’s because I dated you.”

You felt your face heat up at that. “Maybe you shouldn’t make it a habit. You're a bit of a mean drunk.”

He let out a small chuckle. “I wasn’t that bad.”

“You were rude.”

“I was flirting.”

“You’re engaged.”

He frowned. “I know.”

“We’re going to have to talk about it. At least to make peace.”

His eyes softened. “I-I can’t.”

You moved to grab your stuff as you made your way to the door. More secrets, more difficulties. You needed the whole truth or nothing and you were beginning to grow tired of being the only one who wanted to have a peaceful life. 

“It’s the Lannisters.”

Your feet stopped moving, you almost dropped your things. You slowly turned towards him. “You said they were gone.”

“They were but- but things got complicated. I am going to take care of it.”

“What happened, Aemond?”

“You came back, you weren’t supposed to come back and then everything got more complicated and then Alys-”

“Slow down.” You couldn’t make sense of anything he was trying to say.

He was breathing quickly and his words were beginning to jumble to the point where understanding him was impossible. Tears looked like they were ready to spill from his eyes. You dropped your stuff, walking over to him and taking his face in your hands. 

You forced him to look at you. “Breathe, Aemond.”

You moved your hands down so they were rubbing up and down his arms. “You need to breathe.”

He leaned forward, putting his forehead against yours, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. 

Then another. 

You closed your eyes, leaning into him and the familiar sage scent that he got from using his body wash. Despite the years, despite the pain, despite everything you still missed him. He was your everything when you were a teen, he was the only family you had at one point and now, being this close to him, you wondered how you had gone so long without him.

But he was engaged, and as much as you wanted to be selfish you just couldn’t do it. 

You pulled away, taking a step back from him. “The Lannisters are back?”

He seemed disappointed. 

He nodded, rubbing his face. “They’ve been back for a couple months now.”

“You should have told me.”

He shook his head. “No, I don’t want you involved in this again.”

“Aemond I am involved in this, I mean I was being followed home. Daemon got hurt. It’s like five years ago all over again.”

“No it's not.” He came towards you taking your hands and rubbing his thumb in a circle on the back of your hand. “I’m not going to let that night happen again. I’m not gonna lose you, do you understand me?”

He was looking intensely into your eyes, then his gaze moved to your lips. You hadn’t realized he had gotten so close.

“Aemond.” You breathed. Your head began to spin as if you were drunk, your thoughts going quiet as your body started to move closer to his as if you were magnets destined to meet again. 

“I’ve missed you so much.” He leaned down, his breath fanning your face.

“Aemond.” The noise you made was a mixture of a whimper and a plea as Aemond leaned closer meeting your lips with his.

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer as his tongue invaded your mouth. You snaked your hands up into his hair, pulling the strands from the bun he wore. He moaned, pulling you impossibly closer as he nipped your lower lip. You felt like you were on fire, as your teeth clashed, the kiss becoming more hungry. 

More desperate. 

Suddenly his phone rang, causing the two of you to jump apart, finally being brought back to reality. He took his phone out of his back pocket, glancing at the caller ID.

“I have to take this.” 

You nodded.

“You aren’t leaving tonight,” he said. “You can stay in my room, I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“Don’t you still have a guest room?”

His face turned red. “Not anymore.”

He turned, heading towards his office as he answered his phone, closing the door behind him.

You made your way upstairs, heading past where you remembered the guest room to be. Against your better judgment you peered inside to see the room that used to house a queen sized bed now be filled with boxes of all kinds of things. 

You crept inside, looking into one of the closer boxes. You knew you shouldn't be snooping but after everything that happened tonight you thought fuck it. 

You reached into one of the opened boxes pulling out a small onesie. One that was meant for a baby.

Your heart felt like it shattered.

Yeah, maybe you should have minded your business.

Tag List: @dixie-elocin @liannafae @toodlesxcuddles @watercolorskyy @zenka69 @bellaisasleep @namelesslosers @tssf-imagines @xcharlottemikaelsonx @yourbane @beary-rambles @a-beaverhausen @lightblindingme

[eamour]

daydreaming and imagining

when it comes to manifesting, people like to either daydream or imagine their desires which does sound like pretty much the same. nevertheless — it's not. daydreaming does not equal imagining, vice versa.

daydreaming

meaning · thinking of your desire

to daydream replaces the term "thinking of your desire". when you are daydreaming, you occupy a state of mind where you view yourself as well as your desire separated from each other. you could also say that you only pass through your desired state without truly embodying it and end up going back to your old dwelling state (wavering). you don't claim to have your desire, nor do you declare yourself to be in possession of it. you feel distant to it, almost as if it's impossible, unrealistic or illogical to achieve. you are desiring, aware of wanting your desire, craving and longing for the feeling, making you experience the lack of it. you feel uneasy about how your current reality looks like as you are waiting for some sort of movement or shift. you are dissatisfied about the present moment and view your manifestation as a target you need to aim for, perceiving it as a goal to attain. internally, you know that your desire hasn't been realised yet and wonder how it could possibly materialise. you analyse and examine your outer world a lot, judging it by its looks. you often ask yourself if your desires are ever gonna unfold. thus, you rely on the evidence of your senses, using the 3D as a tool to validate you. by waiting for its confirmation that you ask for so desperately, you automatically assign meaning and also power to the outer world. you let the physical world determine and dictate your mental world. by doing so, you give away control, but still continue to feel responsible and guilty. you repeatedly spiral, wondering what you could be doing wrong, not having full faith or trust in yourself. you don't quite believe in yourself and tend to give in. you endure the 3D as best as you can but often times, you consider your desire to be out of reach. you dream of the mere possibility and depend on the next moment you feel a motivational boost. frequently, you start to doubt, feeling uncertain and unsure about your ability to manifest. you find yourself feeling incapable and scare away from seemingly "big" wishes and wants. you feel needy, irritated and confused. you fight feeling resistant or pressured towards how you want your life to be like. you are afraid that you might never manifest your desired life.

imagining

meaning · thinking from your desire

to imagine can be used as a synonym for "thinking from your desire". as the term says, when you imagine your desires, you think from the point of view where you have them already. you experience them and live life from having whatever it is that you desire. you occupy the state of your wish being fulfilled, knowing and accepting that what you want already exists within you. you understand that nothing can exist outside of you and that life happens from you, so you trust yourself, believe in your capabilities and have faith in the law. you feel calm, confident and content as you are fulfilling your inner self, leaving the outer world as it is. you don't feel the need or the urge to change or control the 3D. there is simply no need for you to stress, worry or struggle. you understand that everything is yours, creation is finished and it all exists already. all you do is step into the state of having and being, living in the end where you got it all. you are one with your desire, you are connected to it as well as all the other contents of your reality. your desire has now become a part of you and you are free to chill, relax and to surrender. you have full trust that your desire will and has to unfold exactly how you want it and don't disturb your inner peace by overanalysing or unnecessary questioning. you don't need to rely on external proof, making your state of being depend on the outer world. you are the owner of your desire, the owner of your reality and stay unbothered by any physical circumstance. you are unaffected by anything that isn't favourable for you and refuse to be led on or negatively influenced. you remain living in your imagination, declaring it to be your one and only reality. whenever you desire something, you know that you don't go outside of yourself, searching for what is already within you. anything you could possibly seek, exists in your mind.

with love, ella.

[shadyteacup]

CAN WE HAVE A PART 2 OF BOY BYE

Free

Part 2 of Boy Bye

You sighed as you heard the door rattle ever so slightly.

It had been 2 weeks since Dazai walked out on you and it has been… peaceful.

Or so you had hoped.

The ache in your heart only grew as the days went by, but you weren’t going to text him, let alone call him.

He had been such a loving boyfriend these last few months, that you had almost thought it was a prank when he asked to break up.

You were strong and independent, you didn’t really need him. Or so you told yourself everyday, as you tried very hard to ignore the dull pain in your chest.

A click brought you out of your thoughts, making you jump slightly on your seat at the sofa.

This can’t be actually happening, you thought to yourself, as you heard the door creak open. You were seated at an angle that blocked your view of the door, but you weren’t exactly worried about your safety. Because you knew who the intruder was.

“Tell me why I shouldn’t be calling the police, Osamu.”, you spoke into the silence.

A low chuckle was heard, followed by a messy head of brown appearing before you.

“Because, love,”, he said, making you roll your eyes at the nickname that he didn’t deserve to call you anymore.

“I’m not breaking in! I simply, forgot!”

He stood there, grinning like an idiot, holding up a set of random keys, cheeks blushed and eyes droopy.

“Forgot what?”

“To carry the right keys, of course!”, he said, burping at the end, making you scrunch up your nose in disgust.

“Just, how drunk are you?”, you asked, worried as he almost tumbled onto the floor, unable to stand still.

“Just a little!”

You groaned at his idiotic grin. This was going to be messy.

“Whose keys did you flick?”, you asked, hoping to return them to their rightful owner tomorrow.

“Keys? What keys? I don’t know any Mr Keith”, he declared, sauntering up to the space next to you and collapsing.

You froze up as he nuzzled his head on your thigh, his long arms gripping onto you as if you might disappear any second.

In mere seconds, you heard snores, and sighed to yourself.

How did he expect you to move on if he kept doing things like this?

You looked down at his head, and a small smile formed on your face as you saw how his cheek was smushed up against your thigh, and his pink lips naturally formed a cute pout as a result.

God. You missed this so much.

Hesitantly, you raised a hand and lightly grazed over his hair. The curls tickled the tips of your fingers, and you could almost cry at how comforting that felt.

You always loved him dearly. Even when he would have his random bursts of cold, distant behaviour, you gave him space and welcomed him with open arms when he came back to normal. You knew he was like this because of his trust issues, and his childhood wasn’t the best, so to speak.

He would always be sure to pamper you with love after his cold spurs.

But this time, when he wanted to break up, you didn’t see that same wall that he usually built around himself; you sensed indifference and dislike. He truly didn’t love you at that moment, and that scared you.

One of the only reasons why you didn’t want to even try to rekindle your relationship with him, is because of how scared you were of his expressions that day. He truly felt absolutely nothing but dislike for you, and you could feel it.

How is it that the same man is lying here, on your couch, with his head on your lap, lovingly nuzzling into you in his sleep?

“You must have a split personality…”, you mumbled, toying with individual curls of his dark hair.

“Or maybe, it’s more of a bipolar disorder?”, you wondered, lacking any actual knowledge of either mental illnesses.

You just wanted some reason to defend his hurtful behaviour. Some reason to let him in.

But maybe, there is no reason. Maybe, it was all just an elaborate lie, that he spun to cure his boredom.

The thought was too painful to entertain, and a tear slipped down your cheek.

You decided to just ignore these thoughts, and enjoy the moment of calm while it lasts.

Dazai groaned as he stirred awake. He had blacked out last night, having spent the night getting kicked out of multiple bars for having drank too much. He couldn’t remember much, except for the occasional sob of your name as he clutched a glass of whiskey on the rocks. He hadn’t felt such emptiness for a while.

He begrudgingly opened his eyes, only to still at the sight.

There you sat, asleep, neck bent in an uncomfortable position. He felt your hand in his hair, and decided to just stare at you.

He observed the smooth, silky skin he adored so much, and how it bent inwards after your cheekbones, narrowing towards your chin.

He smiled at the tiny freckles, and adored the pink of your lips. His smile faded as he noticed the dried tears on your cheeks, and the remnants of your maskara staining a path below your eyelashes.

He was the reason for your tears. He hated himself.

He raised a hand, and hesitated. Did he deserve to touch you after what he had done? Did he deserve to wipe your tears, to push your hair out of your face and to comfort you?

“Osamu..”, you whispered, still deep in slumber.

He usually loved the way you said his name.

But this time, his heart hurt at the pain in your voice.

He silently retracted his hand, which was only inches away from your face, and tried to get up. He wanted to get out of here before you woke up, hoping that you’d chalk it up to a weird dream.

He, stupidly, forgot about your hand in his hair.

You jumped awake, eyes wide and heart pumping. Your swift gaze landed on him, stilling.

You didn’t say anything, and he could see that you wanted to say something. He hoped you would, he silently begged you to.

But you didn’t.

He finally got up, and adjusted his shirt. It felt weird sitting next to you on the sofa where you had both spent countless nights cuddling, watching movies and enjoying each other’s presence.

You both spent some moments in silence, hating to accept that you liked the proximity.

You finally broke the silence as you cleared your throat, ready to take the initiative.

“Please don’t break in again.”

With that, you got up. He watched as you searched for something, and looked at you puzzled when you picked up a set of keys.

“Return these to their owner.”, you said, handing them to him.

He scrunched his brows, not knowing what any of that meant.

Did he break in? Whose keys are these? Why aren’t you addressing the real issue here?

“Did I.. break in?”, he asked, his voice deep and slightly raspy.

You sighed at the state of him. How could he sound so sexy and yet make you want to cry your eyes out? How could he not remember anything? Were you a joke to him? A joke of a person that he can use and throw as he pleased?

“I’m not your plaything, Dazai.”, you mustered up the courage to say to him, watching his face darken.

“You can’t keep doing this.”

He averted his eyes, and nodded.

“Please, just..”, you hated the way your voice cracked. You took a moment to calm your throat, and push the emotions away. You couldn’t afford to cry right now.

“Please leave.”

Dazai clenched his fist at your words. He hated the way you were holding back tears, tears that you would probably spill the moment he’s out the door.

“I’m sorry.”, he said, getting up and collecting his things off the floor.

You watched, hands hugging your torso, as he grabbed everything.

He stepped towards the door, when you called out to him.

“I’m asking because I want closure.”, you began, “Why?”

He froze, not being able to meet your eyes.

He hated himself.

He absolutely loathed himself.

“Because,”, he said, still avoiding eye contact, “you don’t deserve to be with a cheater.”

You couldn’t hold it anymore, having feared this.

Tears freely occupied your cheeks, sliding down and staining your top.

“Was she worth it?”, your voice trembled, making Dazai close his eyes in shame.

“Nothing can truly be worth it, y/n.”

You watched him disappear behind the door, and felt numb.

Maybe this was what you needed: the truth, the keys that can finally set you free from the chains around your heart.

Authors note: I’m truly sorry lol

[dutchdread]

Ouch, that's gotta hurt.

Watching Cleriths celebrate NPTK these past weeks, knowing they'll, as always, be proven incorrect has been an exercise in patience. Sometimes it's just clear that you won't be able to convince people of a complex truth when so often discourse is limited to 280 characters. The reason Clerith exists is that people are unable to see the big picture, it survives by people squinting and not seeing the "but" that's located right after every piece of evidence they put forward. This means that you'll often be perceived to be arguing against what is to them the blatantly obvious. It's futile, nuanced argument never wins from emotion, so often you just have to take solace in the idea that "well, it will be fun to see their surprise 4 years from now". So when you get an interview like this, mere weeks after the game releases, which confirms everything that Clotis had been saying about, and had been mocked for, NPTK, you can't help feel a sense of schadenfreude.

Man that's gotta hurt. This is the difference between Clotis and Cleriths. Cleriths don't really like Aerith, because they want to assassinate her character. Rather than a sad tragic tale of a lifetime of love and loss they want to reduce her character to a shallow cliche rom-com about a capricious girl whose fickle affections change by the hour. The fact that the first person Aerith starts developing feelings for after 5 years of pining after Zack is a man who is almost literally channeling Zack becomes a meaningless coincidence in the story. The fact that she knows Cloud for 2 weeks, most of which is also spent pining over Zack is viewed as confirmation of how special their love is. It doesn't matter that Aerith doesn't even know who Cloud is. It doesn't matter that Cloud is shown to very obviously be in love with another woman. It doesn't matter that Cloud is clearly losing his mind. It doesn't matter that Cloud is constantly show as being apathetic towards her advancements. Even them fighting is recontextualized as "good chemistry" just to avoid facing reality. Usually nonsensical romances are seen as bad-writing, but here the cope makes people excuse all the nonsense as "how brilliantly written is this story? They love each other despite it making no sense, now THAT is romance". Zack is called irrelevant, CC is a "ret-con" and can be ignored, ACC is about how romantic it is to want to die to be with someone. The reason Zack is so predominant in Rebirth is in no way connected to Aerith yearning for exactly the bond he's constantly showing to have with her. The contrast with Clouds apathy means nothing, he definitely isn't there to have some sort of pay-off with Aerith in part 3. Nah, he's just there to give Cloud and Aerith his blessing and to F-off. The reason Tifa is silent and heartbroken at the end has nothing to do with her best friend dying and the man she loves losing his mind. The distance between her and Cloud at that moment is totally not used to illustrate the severity of the situation, or to set-up Tifas importance in the events for part 3. Nah, she doesn't get lines because she's just a side character duh!. That is how they think, every single character and story is assassinated, everything happens only to service Cloud and Aeriths romance, even Cloud and Aerith themselves are pushed through the mud. Screw the death of Ifalna, screw the death of Zack, screw the complexity surrounding Clouds Zack shaped psychology, screw Aeriths childhood and desire for real bonds of friendship, screw even the story of Aerith dying and how maybe, JUST MAYBE, the scenes surrounding Aeriths death have SOMETHING to do with the strong emotions surrounding death rather than just being "a cute romance scene uwu". Never have I seen any story interpretation reveal such rampant hatred for a character as Cleriths reveal for Aerith. To them, Aerith is totally the kind of person who would bond with Tifa, hear the very personal and intimate story about the promise shared between her and Cloud, hear that Cloud thinks that Zack is dead, and not 5 minutes later write a story about how "she loves Cloud and they wouldn't need no promises like that other girl". But sure, I'm the one who hates Aerith, not the people who think this is who she is, but me, the person who assumed she'd be less vile than that and that any song she'd write would encompass more than that. I stand up for her character and get mocked, called an Aerith hater, and called "toxic"....and then you get an interview like this. God it feels good to always have all your positions validated by future content. One has to wonder if the people still arguing for Clerith ever sit back and think "wait, the last 100 times I dismissed these peoples arguments I was proven wrong almost immediately, I am constantly having to shift my goalposts while they're just happily sitting there laughing as they consume media about Cloud kissing Tifa, or proclaiming to become her special existence....maybe I am the delusional one...." God I can't wait for part 3, it will be hilarious.

[barblaz-arts]

Ok I lied, one more Hazbin character ask.🙏

Thoughts on Lucifer, Carmilla, Rosie, and Adam?

Lucifer

I love love love him. Terrible dad tho! Lmfaoo

Genuinely think Charlie let him off the hook too easy for all the neglect imo. It's kinda weird how most of the fandom suddenly thinks he's a great dad. He's okay at best, tbh. Just because he has a gorgeous singing voice(Jeremy Jordan is the fuckin BEST man) and a silly personality doesn't mean everything's swell. I hope the second season further tackles this. I remember someone saying before that Lucifer resembled a dad who accidentally had a baby as a teen and doesn't actually know how to be a father and I haven't forgotten about how accurate that is. Still tho! Great character! I'm not even exactly mad about him being popular, just a little bothered by how he's viewed by most people. I hope the show has him do more than sing a musical number to EARN Charlie's forgiveness

Carmilla

I love her, even if the way her character is written is a little, um, how do I say it? Weird? Doesn't make sense sometimes.

Like how she's a demon Overlord who sells weapons but has a line that goes "I always thought that I would keep blood off my face". So does that mean she's never killed anyone before? Or maybe she swore off killing at some point? If she's only ever taken a life to protect her daughters, what sin did she commit to get her to end up in Hell, with her daughters no less. I have my speculations, but with how little we know about her, speculations don't change the fact that Carmilla is a strangely written character. She has some moments that are just questionable choices from the writers too. Like, how they had Carmilla point out how obvious Vaggie's nature is, making Charlie's feelings of betrayal look a little stupid on Charlie's part. Or how Carmilla sang to Vaggie that she should focus on love and not revenge, even though all Vaggie has ever thought about is protecting Charlie while never showing any signs of even thinking about getting back at Lute. Such a strange character. I hope she makes more sense next season when we get to see more of her, because I truly do love her. If this is never tackled though and I just happen to be overthinking, it's fine. I still like her anyways.

Rosie

A really sweet lady for a, um, cannibal. I can never get behind the fact that she and the other characters eat people RAW though! No matter how beautiful she is, the hotness factor is knocked down as long as you don't clean, cook, and season your food, maam. Nasty.

I hope we see more of her relationship with Charlie though. People keep talking about how Carmilla and Vaggie are similar, but I feel we should talk about her similarities with Charlie too. Throughout the show Charlie is ridiculed and given no respect by her people because of her sweet nature and jolly disposition, but here Rosie is being all those things and yet has a whole town to lead! I hope them meeting is set up to have Charlie learn even more from her.

Adam

Oh man he vexes me lol I don't completely hate him, because he has some funny moments, and kickass songs, and the OG Broadway Beetlejuice voices him, but he's suuuuuch an asshooooole. He's not even the kind of villain that you still like to see and romanticize even when he's evil. At least to me. I think my brother explained accurately why. He hates Adam in fact, and that's because his attitude and personality is too accurate to incels that you can see in real life. I enjoyed him as the first season's villain, but I do NOT want him coming back somehow as a sinner like others want. I want him to stay dead. It's Lute's turn to be the new big bad. I still have Pentious if I want more Alex Brightman anyway.

[jelloia]

a post on how yanqing's monologue in the 2.4 quest aligns perfectly with his character story (+ why jing yuan is a great father figure / mentor)

so we all know that yanqing is regarded as the best swordsman on the luofu (character story part I), and when you read his character story part II, it's obvious why:

When hunting near a distant star, the monstrously huge mechabeast Windguard created by the Denizens of Abundance was pulverizing defense forces as though they were ants. But this young boy met against it face-to-face, claiming its head and routing the enemy to the point of collapse. As for subsequent victories: He broke the borisin's Devouring Wolf formation with Jing Yuan, beheading three Brood Lords. He also fought viciously against the wingweavers, ultimately sinking their almighty Cloudseizer Fleet... These are just a small footnote in the annals of his courageous swordplay.

yanqing mentions himself how he isn't like normal kids, but it's kind of startling and unnatural to read about how fearless he is. after all, he isn't like kafka--who literally cannot feel fear--he's just genuinely that good at his art

to jing yuan, yanqing's constant improvement is a reminder of how even though long-life species don't need to fear time decaying their body, their warped sense of time means they are often stagnate in their ideals and ultimately how they live their lives

"General... I finally... won." The general pauses. He suddenly realizes that, compared to the boy trying to improve every day, he himself has endured too many years and is used to stagnation.

the paradox though is that if you only win, that in itself is a form of stagnation.

so if you always succeed while being constantly praised from a young age, what happens when you lose for the first time?

from the average honkai star rail player's perspective, it's laughable that we see someone as decorated as yanqing be defeated multiple times in a row. it makes us wonder whether he even deserves his title, seeing how weak he is compared to jingliu, blade, and imbibitor lunae.

in actuality, this is a genius writing move. by bringing the player into the story right when yanqing starts losing, we begin having the same doubts and suspicions about yanqing that he is about himself. all the scorn and hatred he gets from the fandom are things i'm sure he's thought about himself.

what's even more interesting about yanqing is that most hsr characters are grown and had their early development offscreen, but we are experiencing yanqing's first big low firsthand, right along with him.

but believe it or not, this is exactly what jing yuan wanted.

according to yanqing's character story part IV:

Yanqing became an unrivaled fighter aboard the Xianzhou Luofu as his skills grew more and more advanced. Jing Yuan gradually began thinking about ways to restrain Yanqing's edge, to take him down a peg without curbing his confidence. Too solid and it can shatter. Too sharp and it can blunt. More than just a sharp edge — a sword also needs a scabbard that can restrain it. In Jing Yuan's view, Yanqing has grown up exceedingly fast — beyond expectations. What Yanqing needs right now is not more strength, but the ability and experience of curbing that strength — something that can only manifest by the passage of time.

jing yuan knows exactly what can happen to those blessed with enormous power. unchecked strength and confidence is a double edged sword--it's precisely this overconfidence that got yanqing into fighting with blade/il and challenging jingliu, yet it's also one of yanqing's best features. what jing yuan wants is for yanqing to continue to believe in himself and be courageous, but also practice control and resilience, even after resounding defeat.

"All's equal in war, and sneak attacks are a good idea. It's too bad your sword is so focused on the flourish and can't conceal its form. Is this what they call youthful vigor?"

there are some things you cannot directly teach, and it's not as though jing yuan planned for yanqing to meet jingliu/etc. jing yuan believes that only time can teach yanqing, yet it's also tricky because for long-life species, time is not just a wheel pushing progress but a cycle repeating the same things over and over.

this is why i believe it's a testament to the stellar quality of yanqing's character and jing yuan's raising of him that so relatively quick after all of yanqing's failures...

...yanqing hasn't given up nor run away, but rather discovered that he no longer fights solely for an extrinsic reward--victory, honor, approval--and instead, for something much more permanent

this doesn't mean yanqing's going to stop throwing himself into difficult fights--just take his bickering with yunli as an example--but rather his perspective has changed. yanqing will enter battle even if defeat is inevitable and will keep on going even if he loses. he's continuing to improve, both physically and mentally.

(i also want to point out the juxtaposition of "letting go of everything" and "giving it my all" in yanqing's purpose above; it sounds contradictory but i think it means how fighting helps yanqing feel free and forget the weight on his shoulders, yet it's also a show of passion where he'll fight for his family/friends/ideals to the best of his ability and beyond)

to conclude, yanqing is an insanely complex and well written character, and i'm so happy that the 2.4 quest is exploring everything that has been set up for him so far. connecting this to the final character story i haven't covered yet (part III), i believe that yanqing is closer to achieving his dream than ever before:

It's completely natural for teenage boys to love swords, but a specific dream flickers and dances among the Xianzhou swords in his collection. To become the best on the Luofu — no, the best across all the Xianzhou ships. To take the title of Sword Champion on the Luofu, and even take the title of Sword Preeminence across the Alliance. Since the Sedition of Imbibitor Lunae, the title of Sword Champion among the Luofu Cloud Knights has remained vacant for centuries. Not that nobody wants to claim it, but for a rather more embarrassing reason: The previous Sword Champion, a legendary swordmaster with 13 outstanding accolades, violated the laws of heaven, resulting in her name being wiped from the face of the cosmos. Even the prestigious title that she bore became a sore spot for others. But for this vastly impressive teen, it's now time to turn over a new page in the annals of history and write another chapter.

ultimately, i think jing yuan said it best:

"You will soon be better than everyone, and that will only be the beginning..."

[em0zombie]

the emperor reversed

Onceler X F!reader

MAIN STORY MASTERLIST

(also posted on Wattpad: @-beachboy !)

1. Fresh Start

It was a quiet ride to truffula forest, "Sorry about my mother back there.." Onceler apologized for his mother's actions. You wanted to smack him in the face for apologizing for his mother's behaviors, but you couldn't do that. His mother never liked you either, maybe she was scared of her son getting all successful and you stealing it- like you'd ever steal anything. "It's fine, Isabella needs to grow up and see that we both hold success in our future!" you place an arm around his, right arm up in the air, "Thneeds and Candyality!" He certainly was glad someone had trust in him. "Yeah, exactly!" Onceler responds and you grab both of yours blueprints from the back to look over them.

...

     "Are we there yet?" You groan while laying in the back. No response, "Oncie- I asked are we there-" siting up straight you see the view that you're in. All of the trees with pink and orange hues sway in the wind, you couldn't believe your eyes. "They're all, something alright..." your crus- friend speaks aloud. "Yeah!" You get out of the wagon and so does he.

     "Good job, Mellie..." you hand the mule a carrot while your friend watches. "Why are you staring at me like that! He needs to be given another treat!" "You're gonna make him gain weight that he doesn't need!" Once yells from the back. You roll your eyes and feed the mule another carrot, he deserves it after having to deal with the two of y'all this whole trip.

...

The house was pulled out and held the two of you perfectly fine, until it came to the bed situation. There was only one.

     "It's fine we can share no big deal!" Once said as you tried to hold in your excitement. "Better than when then the bar-bo-loots tried attacking us..." you mumbled while bringing your luggage inside. "Wait what?" Once yelled out, no response. Sighing, you sit on the bed wishing he was right next to you. God that stupid crush of yours was something dumb, you didn't mean to have it- it just happened? Growing up with the guy you saw how tall he was compared to other kids and how he had a kind heart to...some people?

Outside you can hear Once cutting down a tree which means he's starting to make more thneeds. From one of the windows you can see him dragging the tree, damn was he strong. He turned to see you staring at him, sent a smile your way that you returned back. You got off of the bed and took out your plans for your idea, Candyality.

The idea was basically a candy brand; lollipops, marshmallows, chocolate you name it! Your sweet tooth showed which Onceler would crack a joke about sometimes.

As you're going through your plans you heard bickering outside, Oncie and another man? Standing up you start to see a part of the house falling inward which causes you to scream while running out the door.

...

"What the hell was that?" The Lorax asks, Once almost yells at him again. "That was Y/N!" You hear the two yelling at each other from the back and you walk around to see the commotion.

"That damn wall almost fell onto me! Once, I thought you tied the foundation down-" you're cut off by seeing the short orange figure. "Who's this?" You point in confusion, the figure is appalled by finger pointing. "He calls him self the Lorax, he speaks for the trees." Once mocks. You bend over to see the man, "What an interesting species..." "Why didn't you tell me you had your girlfriend in there! I would never hurt a woman!" Lorax points at you, your eyes in shock. "Woah woah woah!" The two of you say in sync, "We're just friends!" Once states placing a hand on your shoulder. You nodded replying yet the Lorax sees otherwise.

"This man right here tried hammering pipsqueak into the ground!" You look at Once with frowned eyebrows, he doesn't like the sense of judgment coming from you. "Woah woah! You tied him to it!" he defends himself, "I would never hit this little guy! You however, I would gladly pound you and your mustache into the ground!" You couldn't help but giggle, he could never hold his temper. "For shame..." Lorax states, the other animals agree with him. "Look here I'm gonna chop as many trees I need to and you can't stop me!" You realized how bad this may start to get, "And replant them to help the forest stay as it is!" You lean onto Once's side, "Yeah!- what?" He replies.

"Yes! If we cut down trees we have to replant the same amount to keep the balance, and cut only a certain amount each time!" The Lorax becomes skeptical of this idea, but at least he keeps his trees. "I've done research and truffula trees only take 10 years to grow compared to any other tree that takes about 20!" Once is confused, "Are you on his side or mine?" he points to the orange man with his hammer. "Both." you state placing a hand on his shoulder with a mocking smile, you walk over to the Lorax.

"Believe me, I'll help replant them, I can see how much they mean to you." He still seems hesitant, crossing his arms you stand up and drag Once inside to have a talk with him.

...

Closing the door as you're about to have serious discussion with him, he yelps. "Oh what is it now? A spider again- Woah!" You turn around to see Lorax on the desk. "You've left me no choice..." he falls onto the ground, "If you do not replant those trees, all the forces of nature will be released upon you!" Once seems scared yet you're just confused. "You have been warned..." finally ending his monologue. You grab the door to open it for him as he struggled. "You have been warned..." closing it you turned back to Once. "Pound him and his mustache into the ground, really?" He places his hands into the air, "What else was I gonna say?!" You let out a small laugh and go over to the fridge, "What do ya' wanna eat?" You ask leaning and grabbing some stuff out.

...

"It was one tree, Y/N," Once sits down on the bed with his food stuffed mouth, "One tree! Not like I'm gonna cause chaos..." That's what you were most worried about, if it all went down hill. "Don't worry, if I'm by your side nothing will go wrong." Sitting by his side you eat some spaghetti, "And if you help me with my project as well!" Giving him a soft punch on the arm he looks back at you, "I'm glad to have someone like you by my side, you keep all of that hope inside of me..." You chuckle and eat, "Okay no need to get all sappy now..".

___________________________________________

Hi! Sorry if this chapter was pretty short, I'm busy with graduation and college stuff right now so yea 💀 I'll make a new chapter soon!! - Val

[xierrot]

ARCANE 2 SPOILERS who's the best arcane character and why it's jayce talis (may be a bit biased. and my head is a mess rn so some of my wording may not make a sense)

cw there's a load siren sound in the video

arcane focuses on humans' flaws. like half of shit happened bc someone couldn't talk it out. and that's part of human nature too. things that seem rather logical to one may be impossible for another bc of the way they feel and see this world. and all characters in arcane have their own strong beliefs.

even jayce who seems to be easily manipulated. jayce is in fact one if not the most alive, humane character of them all.

firstly. what is the core of his character? it's his desire to help people with the use of magic. bc it once saved him and his mother and he fell in love with it so hard he made trying to bend it to his will the point of his life. he was misunderstood and alone in this desire but he did not give a fuck as long as his dream lived.

and then he failed. he didn't actually bc yk explosion at his lab is not his fault but everyone even his mother looked down on him at that trial bc of his dream. and they took it away. took away his point of life. so he was almost ready to end it (he was about to jump but hesitated a bit. that's in humans' nature too: many suicide attempts fail bc ppl are naturally afraid of what comes after it. and it's something completely impulsive and irrational). but that's where viktor came up and he saved his life. not by stopping him from that jump but by sparkling some hope in him saying that he has a desire too. and jayce is finally understood and not alone. and they completed each other.

later jayce became the poster boy. it's not what he wanted. but he's in fact way less experienced with social interactions and is not that good at reading people as viktor (viktor is good with social interactions. i believe he's even more confident than jayce to give a speech. yk viktor's ambitious enough to be heimer's personal assistant and even tho he didn't give that much credit i think not everyone can pull off being councilor's personal assistant like you have to present him. and with jayce viktor could be like "nah go give those speeches yourself idgaf" bc he could finally focus on what he wants to do) so he's manipulated into becoming a symbol. piltover's talisman. and mel said to him that it can be used as an instrument. and that made him realize he finally had enough power to say "fuck you" to those who looked down upon him.

so he did. but he's a scientist not a politician so his attitude worked against him. he decided to fight corruption being a part of corrupted system. ofc that led to no good. he had tried council's ways too with mel's help but when he realized that it created distance between him and his desire and viktor. and he stated several times that he's not cut for this politician shit. he only did it because he believed he could make things better. that he could help viktor that way. bc viktor became part of his desire that lies in his core. and he did everything out of this desire. he can be easily manipulated but you can't change it, only use it to farther manipulate him. change his view on some ways but not change his core.

and in s2 jayce has not changed. his character is exactly the same as he was in season 1. like he even does the same things: agreeing with viktor that they should not weaponize hextech but then doing so under pressure (manipulated again using his desire to make things better). he did it in s1, and he did it again in s2. and he said that he never wanted to be part of politics to mel in s1 and said it again to viktor in s2. and jayce cared for viktor in s1 as much as he did in s2. it's just that yk of course you would be much more stressed and caring if your friend's HALF-DEAD not just dying slowly where therapy could help like you hold the body of someone who's close to you and there was actually no way of saving viktor like legally and ethically. ofc jayce looked more worried but it's still in his character. he actually acted pretty the same when viktor was at the hospital in s1 but we didn't get much screentime of it and in s2 it's shown more.

and by saving viktor with hexcore he fulfills his main desire. by destroying him he does so too. and these are two things he did without any pressure or manipulations. these things are jayce's own decisions from tip to toe, from inside out. he saved viktor with hexcore out of his desire to help ppl by bending magic to humans' will. and he killed viktor out of his desire to help him (god knows how much willpower i have not to put "love" instead of "his desire to help him"). he kept saying "i won't fail" not only bc he probably time and space travelled and tried to kill viktor many times but because he failed viktor several times trying to fulfill his desires.

so overall jayce is trapped in cycle of trying to fulfill his desire and failing miserably in doing so and then trying to fix things out of this desire again and again. bc that's his core. and it's incredibly humane. (and he needs viktor to ground him as much as viktor needs him). everyone in arcane is fucked up. while some embrace it jayce tries to fight. showing duality of humans' nature. but of course no one gives a fuck to understand him. as did council in s1 act1..)

[casanovawrites]

random sentence prompts  ━ from various tv shows, part 16

i don’t think i’ve ever been this fucking tired.

sometimes people act like one thing, even though they’re something else.

that little bit of hope, that’s the part i couldn’t bear.

i would give anything to feel like a good person again.

best way to make us suffer is to give us hope.

piecing this together is like trying to grab hold of water.

so far, i’m underwhelmed. 

i don’t want a relationship. i just want to be with you all the time.

i just wanna know why everyone always abandons me.

i can’t be around you anymore. it’s confusing, and it makes me feel insane.

you didn’t take me out of love, you took me out of spite. 

don’t let love make you out to be a fool. leave before you’re left.

you are a lonely, selfish, narcissistic asshole. 

every time i look at you, i feel so completely dismantled. 

i have people who mean more to me than you would ever understand. 

always surprised to see you so tenderhearted. 

that’s more like salvation than a simple favor.

when i think about the specifics too much, i just get sad.

i let my ego get in the way of a lot of good shit in my life.

it’s easier to lose interest than to work through things. 

it’s my life. it’s already over in the first place. 

i only wanted to leave because i’ve never felt seen here.

do you wanna be right, or do you wanna have your family?

you’re exactly like me. that’s the problem.

i just wanna feel normal. please help me feel normal.

it felt like we were changing the world.

i am so sorry i freaked out. it will not happen again.

i thought that work would distract me.

you challenged me, and in return, i made you feel small. i’m sorry.

you said that we were bad for each other.

why is my fucking point of view the one everyone’s assuming is wrong?

sometimes it feels like i’m watching other people experience things.

you know, sometimes i think you just lie for the fun of it.

i fucking love that. i love when you stoop to my level.

sometimes i just wanna feel so normal that i’m almost boring.

that’s the thing about liars. they look just like everybody else.

i don’t hate you. what good is that gonna do?

i feel angry, sad, betrayed. i don’t hate you, i feel bad for you.

i feel bad for you because you aren’t the good person you thought you were. that’s gotta hurt, knowing that.

i'm either all in or all out. i need to find a way forward.

when you are ready, this will make you stronger. better.

you either adapt, or you lose your mind.

don’t tell me you’re pretty, privileged, and humorless.

you know, at some point, we’re gonna have to start trusting each other. 

i used to be a happier person.

thank you for not being full of shit.

she was a nuisance as a child and a horror show as a teen. 

i’m so sick of hearing everybody’s opinions about me.

i don’t think you’re pathetic. i just want you to be careful.

i’m done looking like a fucking idiot, so i’m asking you to treat me with some respect from now on.

i just got you back. i’m not losing you again.

everyone was so scared, there was no time to be angry.

i believed in you. don’t you get that?

would you rather i just pick you apart and make you feel like shit?

what you want is for me to read your mind so i can say whatever you want to hear at any given time.

i was already on my fucking own.

whatever this is, it’s you and i.

i couldn’t kill you. i’d probably just cry.

if we’re gonna do this, we’re doing it together.

this seems like a really good plan to piss off my parents, so i’m in.

do things around here feel different to you?

scared people do scary things. even the good ones.

i know we don’t right now. but could we make sense again?

we keep playing with fire, and we need to stop before we burn our lives down.

i am the one who keeps people alive.

which fucking nightmare am i supposed to be afraid of?

i cant help if i’m in the dark.

every time something good happens, something bad comes to ruin it.

whatever this is, we are stronger than this.

will i ever feel normal again?

i think this is your normal now. and everyday, you’ll get a little more comfortable with it.

[givehimthemedicine]

Madwheeler and Super-El: Max and Mike's perspectives on El as the (super)hero

working on another post pondering El's role as "the hero" vs the way the show really doesn't support that concept, and places huge importance on teamwork instead.

the hero is usually the strong/capable one expected to take all the risks and save the day, and other characters feel free to throw them at danger without fearing too much for their safety, especially if they also have powers. but when the hero is a little girl, that's harder.

so today I'm chewing on how El is viewed in that light by the two people closest to her - both of whom are prone to contextualizing her powers through a fantasy lens.

so, here comes one of my favorite El-Max topics, but also one where I've shortchanged Mike in the past. I need to revise some of the old stuff I've said about Bad Guy Mike identifying El as a superhero vs Good Guy Max identifying El as just a girl with superpowers. that was a pretty superficial read on both ends.

(I'm sure the Mike parts will be kindergarten review for his fans/analysts, but I don't usually pay him much attention; this is aimed more at the Mike-hater/ignorer elmax crowd I spawned from)

this is a long ramble, but a fun one I think!

let's start with Max.

for her, El begins as a mythological figure. she doesn't believe she exists as described by Lucas. but then El proves her existence via a very badass entrance, and it only supports Max's idea of her as some kind of invincible, superhero-esque figure.

Max scoffs at the idea of El needing Hopper's protection at the lab. actually, El does need it, bigtime! closing the gate takes all her focus, and without Hopper there to fend off demodog attacks, she probably couldn't have done it.

Max doesn't see that, though, and presumably spends little or no time around El between seasons, so her first impression goes unchallenged for almost a year.

we find s3 Max locked in HARD in her faith in El as the hero who can solo the baddie, take care of herself, and save everyone else. she seems to picture that having superpowers means El has nothing to fear.

the sauna is the first time Max actually sees El fight, and it doesn't go how she expects

El fights Billy, but gets overpowered at one point. everybody's stunned: this is the first time any of the party has ever seen El not decisively win a fight, so "uhhh... should we do something?" doesn't kick in instantly. Max and the others watch as El gets choked purple. only Mike intervenes to save her life and give her a moment to regain control of the fight.

"like she needs protection" and "you have super powers! what's the worst that could happen?" age like milk here. this is when Max sees that El is not invincible and needs help. lesson learned!

... ehh well.. actually what happens is, Max doubles down on her solo-hero-El stance after this and has a bigtime attitude about it.

and, okay, I'm ready to admit that Max's overconfidence towards El's abilities leads to her treating El more like she's a superhero than Mike does during this era. not her intent, but, what's said is said. (I'll get into it, bear with me)

when Mike worries about El endangering herself, Max accuses him of not respecting El's right to make her own choices. when Lucas suggests killing the MF with fireworks, she eyerolls him for thinking any non-El approach could be of value.

nobody was 100% right or wrong, but I see Max having the most crow to eat after all this. Mike was right to worry about El's limits and fear for brain damage: she loses her powers entirely (in the sense that this is later likened to the brain-scrambling of a stroke, can it not be said that El did take brain damage from the MF? not exactly how Mike meant it, but?). and Lucas is no dummy for the fireworks idea: it's all that stops El from getting flayed at one point.

El still helps save the day in s3, but as the big powerful solo hero? nah. least of any season. Max's repeated bets on her powers lose.

so why did watching El almost die in the sauna seem to have no effect on Max's perception of her? why does she still assert that El alone will kick all the flayed butts in 3x6, after she needed some nerd's help kicking (1) flayed butt in 3x4?

there is a visible effect! just not the one you expect right away.

mid-3 is Max's guilt and denial era

3 is when all the issues are coalescing that leave Max depressed in 4: she wished for something terrible to happen to Billy, and now it is, so it feels like it's her fault. she's not ready to cope with the guilt that comes from that, or any of the other dominos that are falling as a result.

"I just stood there and watched" is textually about Billy and the flesh monster. but if Max feels guilt for inaction, she would have similar feelings about El in the sauna, where she also took no action.

Max specified that her inaction with Billy wasn't because she was scared or weak, but because she didn't know if he deserved to be saved. It being a decision not to act is why she feels so terrible about it. I see no reason to think it was radically different in the sauna: I could completely buy that she somewhat chose not to act because she didn't think El needed to be saved.

I don't think either are cases of Max blaming herself for an uncontrollable freeze response, because we see multiple illustrations of her not having that response, whether it's herself or others in danger.

post-sauna, Max has plainly seen that El did need protection, and is struggling with the fact that she didn't provide any. the bathroom scene is when her guilt is the clearest, imo.

watch how she gets lost in the sight of El's bruises and stops what she's doing, and the way she asks if it hurts. you can imagine her logic in feeling like those bruises are her fault: both for "causing" the greater situation and for not making a move to help.

but what's really telling is the abrupt change of subject and tone from "are you in pain?" to "lol that Mike's a yapper amirite?". she has a lot of nerve putting Mike down after he's the one who just saved El's ass, right? but that's exactly why she does it. this is 14 year old coping with heavy feelings in an immature manner, as they'll do.

choosing Mike isn't just a random "lol madwheeler worsties" attempt to cheer El up. it's an attempt to bury her shame at her own inaction compared to his action in the sauna. by getting a laugh out of El at Mike's expense and shifting the theme of the scene towards making fun of the boys, she's steering into waters that reflect more favorably on herself, and her bond with El, than him/his.

so I think that's one big reason Max is doubling down on her confidence in El in mid-3: to absolve her guilt. she's trying to convince herself that El really CAN take care of herself despite what she saw. because if El is superheroically powerful, Max has nothing to feel guilty about (and in fact, is El's only good, supportive friend for having faith in her!)

season 3's war of the sexes

here's another reason I think Max doubles down. she has some male-specific trust issues at play behind the scenes in this season that have been messing up her relationship. as a result of El coming to her for advice, Max's private personal trauma-foibles get projected out into this "stupid boys" war of the sexes that clogs up most of the party's season.

why do I bring up trust issues? because Max does. her framing in the cabin argument is pretty bullshit: she spins Mike's concern for El's wellbeing into an issue of trust. which is a kinda odd word for the situation, especially considering it does not play to her advantage.

look at her regret that she let that word escape containment lmao:

Max thinks boyfriends can't be trusted, so it follows that girlfriends should always be trusted - and "trust" here means "trust El to save the day without killing herself". even though I trust it's been explained to her that that's classic El behavior.

she presents her case to Nancy and Jonathan, but a fair trial for Mike goes out the window when only Nancy weighs in. yep, the Nancy who's fresh off her own war with Jonathan about workplace misogyny and how he should've trusted her about the rat story. so Nancy's ruling (while none of it is wrong) has a heavy bias in the same direction as Max's, and totally glosses over the valid aspects of what Mike's saying. lmao at the way Jon mutes himself for this discussion. she's never wrong, son.

El's agency and ability prevail as the only real issues among the loudest voices in the room - neither of whom share the trauma of already having witnessed El exercise both to sacrifice herself.

oh, but then look what happens as soon as El starts losing another fight:

at least some of that was denial, because it ends abruptly right here. Max doesn't need it anymore, because she has something way better: another chance.

I think if the sauna truly hadn't changed Max's mind about El, then Max would've done the same thing here (stood and watched). but she doesn't. this time when El gets overpowered fighting the flesh monster and almost gets yoinked, Max jumps in to help pull her back.

(this is how we can be sure Max's inaction with Billy and the FM wasn't merely a freeze response. "I imagine myself running to you, pulling you away" - they showed her able and willing to do exactly that for El)

this is a huge step. but still, the anti-Lucas-fireworks stuff happens even after this. (she's a work in progress, okay?)

in fairness, El's powers are the more effective approach. she still has them here, and nobody foresees her losing them over a leg injury. if all had gone as expected, El would've probably done the heavy lifting in another FM fight at the mall. Max doesn't have to be so dismissive of conventional backup plans, but she's not wrong-wrong about this particular one, either: fireworks don't kill the FM. they're an invaluable distraction, yes, but not fatal.

by this point, Max understands now that El needs help/protection even though she has powers, but still places her faith in those powers above all else to handle the supernatural fighting. which I'd call a fairly reasonable, if sucks-to-be-El assessment.

more progress is made when El loses her powers:

this little piece of action is sooooo tasty as a bookend to the sauna scene.

this time, Max doesn't wait to see how the fight goes and then jump in for backup if needed. she takes the defensive lead this time, stepping out in front. none of these three have the physical strength to beat Billy, so she figures that as Billy's stepsister, the responsibility falls to her to try to stop him a different way. doesn't work even a little bit, but, credit for the effort to defend. (Mike too, full credit for trying)

s4 Max on El's power loss

we don't know of anything Max ever said TO El regarding her power loss. but during her curse era in season 4 she's still out there wishing for El to get her powers back.

this line was a rock in my shoe for awhile because I thought Max should've grown past the solo-hero-El mindset after s3. I wish the burden wasn't always on El, and I'd like to see Max express that too, and spend more time helping think of conventional solutions instead of just relying on El's powers to save the day.

but actually I just misinterpreted the line.

she doesn't say this during the discussion about how they're gonna stop Vecna. this is specifically in reply to Nancy pointing out that they need to find a way into the UD in order to do that. so Max isn't saying she wishes El would come kill Vecna / rescue her / save the day, she's just saying she wishes El could poke a hole into the UD for them so they can do it. opening a portal is the part the kids really can't do on their own. shooting/stabbing a guy, sure.

once a gate presents itself, Max never wishes for El's help again. she volunteers as bait while the others kill Vecna, which is an entirely conventional solution.

so, this still fits a general trend away from regarding El as a solo/super hero. as always, Max looks to El for the stuff that can only be accomplished with superpowers; what's really changing is that her perception of "things that can be accomplished without superpowers" is expanding. s3 to s4 shows an enormous decrease in her reliance on El for supernatural battle.

ooh but the final step (so far) is my favorite

Max really no longer expects El to solo, even when she shows up with powers and gives explicit instructions to let her solo. ("stay back" -> so, "just stand there and watch"? mm tasty)

Max does listen, initially, but when things go south, she tries to stab Vecna in El's defense (or more realistically, tries to distract him for a second).

the interesting piece of character growth here is not that Max tries to protect El even though El has powers. that's not new.

it's the implications of Max growing past volunteering her protection unasked, all the way to insisting on protecting El even after she said not to.

a very interesting choice from little miss trust-El-who's-saved-the-world-twice.

[Regina George voice:] so you agree? it is possible for El to overestimate her own limits? and her decisions should sometimes be challenged or overridden for her own protection?

like. Max and Mike are the only ones El has ever "stay back"ed. I mean, she's fought for everybody, but they're the only two people she's ever explicitly, individually, fought instead of. are we seeing it?

are we seeing how Mike's feelings in that s3 argument had a lot to do with watching El fight the demogorgon after keeping him back for his own protection - and that the instant Max has the vaguely-equivalent experience of watching El fight Vecna after keeping her back for her own protection, her actions get a bit more Mikey?

where will this go in s5?

unless we get an amnesia plot, s5 Max ought to have a specific brand of El-loss trauma very similar to Mike's, considering she most likely died thinking El had already been killed trying to protect her. (I'm 100% sure she never saw and 90% sure she never heard El in the mind lair with her so it probably looked like she was dead or at very least "gone")

seems very safe to say s5 will require El to endanger herself in order to save Max, and I'm very eager to see how this arc plays out in terms of Max's reaction to that (will we get a scene where Max actually tries to dissuade her?) and whether we'll get any kind of madwheeler handshake type moment about that.

I'm not saying Max and Mike will or should reach equilibrium in the end, but I am enjoying that they've both ended up sliding towards the middle ground since their argument. Mike has learned to better respect El's agency and independence, and now Max has learned that sometimes she too prioritizes El's safety.

so! Max starts out all starry-eyed over El, thinking superpowers are the solution to everything, only to become more and more inclined to help and protect the girl she originally thought of as a superhero. can't tell you how much I love this progression.

.

now let's talk about Mike

unlike Max, Mike never expected El to be invincible or save the day all on her own. it might have a lot to do with first impressions (which looks like she needs taking care of: the rainsoaked nonverbal child lost in the woods, or the MTV punk who just hurled a monster through the window?)

Mike does encourage El to use her powers to find Will (after she volunteers her ability and willingness), but just the void-searching, screwing-with-electronics type stuff. he never encourages her towards telekinetic battle; she does all that unasked. he never expects her to fight for them in any way that seems to seriously endanger her. in fact, he makes effort to protect her at those times.

season 2, he worries for El when she goes off to the lab to close the gate, in contrast to Max figuring she can take care of herself. Mike formulates the plan to draw away the demodogs to make it safer for her.

season 3 is the big argument where Mike's seemingly the only one concerned for El's safety, accusing everyone of being careless with El's powers and treating her like a machine. (intriguing that the actual word "superhero" wasn't invoked in this scene)

although Max makes valid points in this argument, bias from her trust issues causes her to take her points a bit too far. the same thing is going on with Mike. he makes valid points, but has bigtime loss issues that cause him to err in the other direction (arguing El is risking her life "for no reason" when literally the world is at stake).

in fact, throughout the series, his concern for El's safety looks chiefly motivated by his own fear of loss.

"I don't want her to die looking for the flayed"

oh boy does that line tell us a lot. he says "looking for". not "fighting". y'all see the size of the can of worms?

Mike worries about her dying not in combat to save the day, but from searching the void for too long and dying from strain of power overuse. which raises the question:

if Mike is worried about power strain... shouldn't it have been a concern when she had to close the gate last year, which was 1000x more strenuous?

El's battery-drainage has been common knowledge since s1, so either:

s2 Mike didn't realize closing the gate would take lots of power (doesn't make sense; Hopper told them the gate had gotten huge), OR

is there some reason Mike would've become even more El-loss-motivated by 3 than he was in 2, even though he got to "keep" El at the end of 2?

yes! the reason is Will.

in s2, Will was in jeopardy. Mike's response to the El-gate-closing plan wasn't "oh no, El, don't! you might die or get brain damage!" it's "okaycool but let's make sure Will is safe first." when he does fret for El's safety, he specifies that it's the demodogs he's worried about. he makes no mention of power strain.

in s3 the world is at stake again, but suddenly now Mike is all "oh nooo we can't let El strain herself" regarding a comparatively extremely-low-power-intensity task (plus El is older and presumably stronger since s2). the key variable is that this time, Will is fine.

Mike has always cared about El's safety, but back when Will was at stake, he was able to overlook power strain on her as regrettable but necessary. right now, with Will's safety a non-issue, Mike is free to make El's safety his top concern, even to the point of judging all the others for acting basically like he did in s2. priorities.

anyway, back to the greater subject:

none of his behavior in the first few seasons looks much like the way someone would treat a superhero.

if Mike has always understood that El needs help and protection, why does he get all superhero-y about her by season 4?

has he grown increasingly awed by her powers as they've strengthened? is Mike's arc the inverse of Max's, with him regarding El as more of a superhero over time? I don't think that's it.

I think framing this the same way for Mike as for Max is wrong, and misses what's really neat about this contrast.

we have to think about why each of them liken El to a superhero in the first place. it's not for the same reasons.

Mike and Max admire different qualities in their favorite superheroes.

Max superhero name drop: Wonder Woman Max is a girl from a broken home who's felt abandoned, rejected, or abused by every male figure in her life, so we can see the obvious appeal in a strong, independent super-woman. (isn't WW's Lasso of Truth also just what a girl with trust issues would want?)

things like relative invincibility (I know WW isn't literally invincible but like, compared to a regular person), female independence, and ability to defend herself (esp from men) are defining superhero qualities to Max because they're a mix of what she has to be, and what she wishes she could be. she probably imagines that if she were WW, she wouldn't have to worry about anyone or anything that's making her life suck the way it does. WW is MM upside down. coincidence????? (yes)

that's what Max thought El was, early on, hence genuinely thinking El could take care of herself in the sauna.

so does Max just stop thinking of El as a superhero? not necessarily in every sense. right around the time Max is letting go of those preconceptions, another El-WW commonality becomes evident: El helps save the world not with superpowers, but with compassion for Billy.

a mainstay of the Wonder Woman character is the dichotomy of her dominant force aspect and her nurturing humanity: her overwhelming belief in love, empathy, compassion, and having a strong conscience.

I'm not sure whether to think El told anybody how she got through to Billy at the end. but if Max does know, then there are still Wonder Womanly things for her to admire about El's actual character, even if she doesn't think of her as a superhero anymore in the defining sense.

Mike superhero name drop: Superman invincibility is more of a Superman thing, but not one I see evidence that Mike esteems in Supes, wishes for himself, or expects from El.

the qualities I figure Mike admires in Superman are evidenced by the ones that reflect in his own character: things like loyalty, protectiveness, strong sense of justice. nobody thinks his powers aren't cool, but I sense the real allure for Mike is the way Superman uses those powers for good. that's how Mike would use powers if he had any.

I think such qualities are also what he likes about El. I'm giving him a huge benefit of doubt here, because he hasn't made this clear textually. but in the monologue, I see now how he's calling her a superhero for her character, not her actual powers. he admires her for her loyalty to her friends, her commitment to fighting for good, her constant choice of love over hate - all that jazz. stuff that really does apply with or without her powers.

Mike superhero name drop: X-Men when Lucas says El is a "weirdo, not a superhero" Mike doesn't deny her weirdo-ness, he defends it, in other words saying someone can be both.

the X-Men are outcasts due to genetic mutations, so their appeal is obvious among a group of nerds who are bullied and called freaks over a variety of prejudices. through an X-Men lens, Mike can find strength in the discrimination and struggle to fit in which the party faces in real life.

this all applies to El too, who faces definite struggles from not fitting in, getting bullied and called a freak as well.

two indicators that Mike meant it specifically in an X-Men way when he called El a superhero during their fight:

one: this conversation started with her talking about how she is different, doesn't belong, and everyone thinks she's a monster.

two, Mike's word choice. he's already referenced his bullying, but his use of "mouth breather," a s1 throwback word referring to Troy ("I was tripped by this mouth breather Troy") links his thought process back to the X-Men conversation specifically (which took place on the heels of Troy bullying the party).

Mike didn't call her a superhero like "they don't have telekinesis and you do, so you rule and they drool!" he meant "yes you are different from everybody else, and I know that sucks a lot of the time, but the way you use your unique qualities to fight evil is what makes you awesome, like the X-Men!"

Mike superhero name drop: Mister Fantastic

the first person whose superpowers Mike praises isn't El. it's Dustin! he thinks the hyper-flexibility Dustin gets bullied for is cool, kind of like the stretching powers of Mister Fantastic.

I don't know Mister Fantastic so I had to look up what his deal is, and was intrigued to find this:

.. although his cosmic ray powers are primarily stretching abilities, his presence on the Fantastic Four team is defined by his scientific acumen, as he is officially acknowledged as the smartest man in the Marvel Universe.

rather reminiscent of Dustin, the genius child who's always explaining magnets and the plot to everyone else? looks like his "superpower" is not the only reason Mike likens Dustin to Mister Fantastic. just like El's isn't the only reason he likens her to Superman.

anyway, Mike thinking of El as a superhero isn't the problem per se. the problem is him never articulating that he doesn't mean it in the hurtful way

Mike's had two big scenes where he REALLY needed to make this clear to El, and didn't (if I'm even on the right track here).

El doesn't know jack about superheroes except that they have powers, so when Mike calls her that, she has no idea he could be referring to anything other than her powers. you can't tell me she ever read a comic for him or listened to him talk about Superman. I can't remember El ever even politely feigning interest in Mike's interests.

the only time she's ever listened to anyone lore dump about superheroes was Max about Wonder Woman, and if my above reading is accurate, early s3 Max probably focused on superpowers more than character.

the closest we ever came to E listening to Mike talk about a "superhero" he likes is:

it's not like he extolled Yoda's bravery or anything. just telekinesis. so it's little wonder what her takeaway is here. all she has to go by is what he says out loud.

and when Mike reassures her, unprompted, that she'll get her powers back at the end of s3, it just reinforces her notion that telekinesis is really important to him.

when actually, I think Mike just says that because it's important to her. she's lost a part of herself and he wants her to feel whole. (whether El truly wants her powers back for her own sake or because she fears she's not valuable to others without them is another conversation - point here is, Mike saw her try, fail, and look upset about it, so he reassures her.)

ps, I do like how reaching that teddy bear for her serves as a micro illustration of the way he's willing to help reach goals in conventional ways instead of relying on her powers.

but yeah, again, clearly she thinks he means her powers when he calls her a superhero and she answers "not anymore".

which leads to a question I've yelled at the tv more than once: why didn't he just clarify as soon as El said "not anymore"? this whole thing could've been nipped in the bud?

I think he doesn't even realize the miscommunication.

his intent with the superhero "compliment" might just be so obvious to him that he doesn't realize it needs clarification for her.

"but how could he miss the miscommunication? what else than her lost powers could she mean by "not anymore"?" maybe Mike thinks she DOES already understand that he means the superhero thing in terms of admirable character. so, when she says "not anymore", maybe he thinks she's referring not to her lost powers, but to her lost standing in his eyes since hitting Angela?

I've pondered before about how maybe Mike's admiration of El's Supermanly "unwavering moral code" is why he was so upset that it apparently wavered after Rinkomania.

he didn't say anything to clarify after "not anymore" because he is still sorting out those feelings.

I'm not sure Mike realizes even after the "I have gone to become a superhero again" note (which he reads after finding out El is in training to get her powers back).

his reaction to the note isn't "oh no, I didn't mean superhero like that!" but rather seems all about his regret about El leaving him behind as a result of his failure to force an "I love you". (ah, the old fear of loss disguised as romantic love again)

I don't believe he'd fail to apologize/clarify if he realized the way that this hurt El. he can be an ass, he can be stupid, but he does reliably own up to his mistakes and apologize.

I used to think the "with/without your powers" line in the monologue meant he was aware of the miscommunication, and was trying to clarify. but he did such a bad job clarifying that it makes a lot more sense if he actually still hasn't clocked the issue at all. I gotta think he couldn't have been dumb enough to say the superhero thing again unless he still didn't get how it was hurtful in the first place.

he does have El on a pedestal. it's just not because of her powers.

the monologue is largely selfish, and doesn't land well for El, but it's not the worship-of-superpowers Mike is so often accused of. he's locked onto the "I love you" thing, caught up in his own fear of loss, and completely missing the optics for her.

the superhero thing can be cleared up with a single conversation. the true underlying issue, which would still persist, is this "extraordinary vs. ordinary" dynamic in his mind which isn't serving either of them well. he's got low self esteem from viewing himself as some useless loser compared to her; and the last thing she wants is another guy considering her extraordinary, which has been a horrific liability all her life, and she just wants normalcy.

reason #7519 why 🦴.

in conclusion: Mike and Max having different Super-El arcs is the good arc for both of them

as Max sees El needing protection, she comes to realize that powers don't grant the kind of freedom/safety that she daydreamed would go along with being a superhero in real life. so for Max to decreasingly regard El as a superhero is a positive thing.

as Mike sees El continue to loyally fight against ever-greater forces of evil and the social struggles that come with her uniqueness, he continues to admire the same qualities in her that define his favorite superheroes. so for Mike to still/increasingly regard El as a superhero is a... well-intentioned, potentially positive thing. (it can be, if he takes her off the pedestal and explains this in a way she can understand.)

[pixie05love]

I've read 287, and I wanted to ramble about Igaguri and Isagi because... I got nothing else to talk about from this chapter besides that, honestly (the loml Ness has not made his comeback yet, I want to scream and die)

I wanted to yap about these panels:

In this chapter, the art style peeked here imo. Finally, Nomura put some respect on Igaguri, and I liked it since he's always been more of a comedic relief than anything else. So, I'm glad to see how seriously this scene was taken in the visual aspect. It helped to make me feel bad for him.

(Sorry guys, I don't hate him, I do find him a bit annoying at times, but, well, that was his purpose, i think? he's also part of the cast, so he has to have his moment, too. Let the monk have a few panels before he leaves)

I also liked Isagi's words for him, but...

I had mixed feelings with this line in particular:

"I'm only here because you were here."

At first, I thought it didn't make any sense for him to say that because... did Isagi and Igaguri really have such a strong friendship? Or did Igaguri impact him that much for Isagi to say that?

I tried to think of relevant scenes between them and compared them with other characters like idk Bachira, Rin, Kaiser... because I think these characters were more impactful on Isagi's character than Igaguri.

But I thought it was an unfair comparison.

Except for Bachira ofc, Rin and Kaiser are not Isagi's friends, and unlike Igaguri, they've never got to see Isagi grow to the one we know now. I think this is why we don't doubt Bachira's friendship with Isagi since they've grown in this together. Therefore, it's only fair to accept that Igaguri also had some sort of friendship with Isagi just... not as strong as with Bachira, I suppose.

Igaguri had been with Isagi since the very first day they got in Blue Lock. They saw their most pathetic side when they realised they were the worst players, they saw eachother fail matchs, they shared their questionable for a growing teenage meals, they also worked to reach higher positions to play and train together again on the NEL with the number one striker Noa... They practically saw each other grow! (yeah, I'm surprised too that Igaguri made it to here, but if Noa substituted Kunigami for him, it must have been because he, for once at least, saw potential in his plays [the foul tactic worked on RIN two times so... I think we can say he worked hard for that moment xd])

They did share moments together, and if I'm not wrong, I think Isagi came up with some tactics while training with Igaguri (I'm sorry, I don't remember how exactly the scene went. I just have a vague memory of it happening :/)

What I'm trying to say is that, in this scene, I think Isagi was acknowledging Igaguri's value as an individual.

Just right after Igaguri was begging Noa to let him stay because he hadn't any value in the market yet, meaning, he was worthless (because that's what a capitalistic society wants you to believe, so you think of ways to explotait yourself to move as much money as possible for them). Just when Igaguri's fate was scripted again by another superior figure (Noa) like his parents did with him (or God fated for him, as you wish to view it), enforcing this sentiment of worthlessness on him:

Isagi comes to pat his head and reminds him that he does have value for him. Isagi recognises Igaguri, despite Noa's words or the numbers on the charts, because Igaguri's individual made his possible.

Honestly, I think that resonated a lot with me. These kids are being treated like any other product from the market, expecting them to rationalise all their actions in order for them to detach their feelings from everything they go through, making it easier to manipulate them into accepting this materialistic view of the sport that gave meaning to their lives.

So, Isagi (the one who now calls himself a machine that only wants to score goals, victim of said society) reminding Igaguri that he is not worthless and that he's actually glad of meeting him despite what the world may value or not from him... idk but it was SO emotional!

I think everyone must have felt, at least, a tiny little bit bad for Igaguri here.

Although, I do think they should have had more scenes together, and Kaneshiro should have explored more Igaguri's characters because religion and fate are very recurring themes in bllk

It would have made their interaction even more emotional and meaningful. I think this is why it threw me off at first. Igaguri was not AS impactful to Isagi as the scene tries to make us believe... (unless I've forgotten some scene between them that proves otherwise ofc)

this sucks tbh because I don't think we'll see Igaguri again after this one bruh

I still think their moment together was good. Nomura did amazing, Kaneshiro could have done with Igaguri better IMO

but that's it. I don't think I added anything valuable with this post but I wanted to get this out

Have y'all a good day, evening or night<33