#You Drew Stars Around My Scars | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

peterjakes · 10 months ago

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Katniss x Peeta - 'you drew stars around my scars'

Katniss's feelings are bubbling and she knows she can't keep them to herself. But the idea of laying herself bare to Peeta is almost too much for her to handle. Little does she know, Peeta's feelings are present too and they won't be hidden forever.

I actually really like this one - which is the first time I've ever admitted that I think haha! a little shorter but tbh, I think that works

I'm enjoying the vulnerability between the two, and how they're tiptoeing around each other!

I'm thinking about writing something more Peeta-centric next but who knows when that will be - I will try to actually write it in the next month!

thanks as ever for reading x

also posted on ao3;

It had been a few weeks since Katniss had seen Peeta properly. Things in District 12 have gotten so busy, and Peeta had wanted to be a part of that. There had been several council meetings about the plans, Peeta had even hosted some of them. Katniss would watch several different important people leave his house but didn’t dare visit Peeta during those times. She imagined they tired him out.

Katniss on the other hand couldn’t think of anything worse and had spent her days hunting and bothering Haymitch whenever he was awake, which was more than Katniss had expected. Since their unspoken agreement of Peeta staying the night, Katniss hadn’t spent another night alone. She was grateful, extremely grateful for Peeta staying true to his word. Some day they would only share their supper together and end up sprawled in Katniss’ bed. Other times they would spend their whole day together, Peeta would bake, whilst Katniss would watch. Katniss would search her brain for the things she wanted to remember about the people she had once known, whilst Peeta would swirl his pencils and paintbrushes across the page. They would even go into the woods together, on sunny days and Katniss would hunt, whilst Peeta would watch. Sometimes, Katniss would catch him from the corner of her eye. He would be sitting on a rock or tree stump; the sun would shimmer down to catch the top of his curls. His hair had grown a lot since he arrived back at 12. Katniss had noticed how healthy he looked now. The dark circles under his eyes were non-existent, he had put on weight again, his skinny arms were now fuller and there seemed to be a hint of muscle again. But he would be lost in the moment, allowing the heat to find his skin and rest there. Maybe he would be trying to remember something, or perhaps it was the present Peeta would be focusing on. Katniss enjoyed these moments, she allowed herself to sneak a peek at Peeta in that moment. It was nice. But that didn’t mean it made anything easy. If she was being honest with herself, she was extremely confused as to how to feel about him now. Katniss had tried to ignore her feelings, but it was becoming increasingly difficult.

Katniss had found Peeta in her bed once again one night. There was a storm, one that reminded Katniss of the time before the Quarter Quell. It was loud, dark, and miserable. Peeta had stayed for dinner, bring one of his new loaves with him. This one had a hint of spice, which Katniss wasn’t too sure of. Peeta knew immediately she didn’t love his new bread as much as the cheese buns but appreciated the honesty and constructive criticism. Katniss wasn’t so sure Peeta would actually take on anything she had said. She’d heard from Greasy Sal how Peeta’s bread was becoming the talk of the town again, which was nice to hear. Even if Katniss couldn’t do it, she was glad Peeta was integrating into society again. He deserved it. The two sat in silence while they ate, but it was a comfortable silence, that didn’t need to be filled. Katniss could sense Peeta wanted to talk to her about something, something important but he hadn’t approached the subject yet. It was only when the two had decided it was time to sleep, that Peeta spoke his words. The storm had grown stronger since the two had begun eating, and it was clear Peeta couldn’t leave, not that Katniss wanted him to.

Peeta’s head was upright, leaning against his pillow, whilst Katniss lay just beside him, her braid sprawled across his chest and head just below his bicep. His breathing was steady, but Katniss could tell he wasn’t going to stay silent for long. Peeta was clever, he knew when to pick his moments, but Katniss knew him better than anyone else. She picked up on things. There were things that Katniss had noticed more since the two had come back home. The way he would sometimes stop mid-sentence, mid-walk, mid-eating, as if he was overcome by a terror, a memory, a nightmare. How he would take more time with almost everything he would do. The way he would listen to Katniss so intently, hanging onto every single word. How he would act so cautious, so delicately around Katniss whenever they spoke of what happened before. Things were different know. Katniss knew this, she understood, and she was even beginning to accept it.

“Katniss?” He spoke her name so softly, as if not wanting to stir her.

“Hm?” Katniss murmured, shifting her body closer to Peeta’s, wanting to share his space. She could hear his heartbeat now, it had sped up ever so slightly, as if Peeta was preparing himself to ask the inevitable. Katniss didn’t know how she felt about that, she didn’t know if she could truly face it. She just wanted Peeta to stay by her side, always, forever. She couldn’t lose her boy with the bread, not again. She wasn’t going to let that happen. And if she opened up, who knew what would truly happen?

“I’ve been thinking…”

“Oh, no.” Katniss joked, but Peeta was not joking. He moved himself so he was sitting up right, but making sure he didn’t push Katniss away. She kept her eyes closed throughout but could sense something had shifted. Peeta was serious now, he was feeling anxious about what he wanted to ask.

There was still a sense of not being completely honest with each other. Katniss knew this, and she was sure Peeta did too. She didn’t know if she could truly be that for Peeta. They had shared things in the past, things they were only for the two of them, but the Peeta who had held Katniss during the Victory Tour, who had defended Gale, who worked so hard to protect Katniss did not exist anymore. The Peeta who lay beside her in her bed knew those things about her, but the way he thought and felt about certain things had changed. And yet, Katniss knew she couldn’t avoid it for much longer. There were things that were still hidden, still unspoken. And Peeta knew that, and Katniss could sense it.

“It might be good for us, to talk.”

“What about?” Katniss had opened her eyes and portrayed a confused look on her face. She knew Peeta would see right through it, but she at least had to try. She couldn’t and wouldn’t make the first move, she was no good with words, with speaking how she truly felt. Over the past year she had spent so much time being spoon-fed what to say, how to say it, when to say it and who to say it to. It was as if she had lost her true voice, the Katniss that existed before the reaping. Of course, she had changed in so many ways, ways she never believed could have happened.

“I had an appointment with Dr Aurelius yesterday. There’s still a lot of things I’m confused about or don’t really understand. Things that haven’t been spoken about.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think you know what I mean, Katniss.”

There’s a pause, as if Peeta is expecting Katniss to drop the act and admit she of course knew what he meant and would divulge all of her feelings. This, of course, was not going to happen. Katniss knew she should, for both of them. Even if Peeta didn’t feel the same about Katniss, she wasn’t sure she could ever admit to him how she felt. It would hurt too much, and the idea that Peeta had stopped loving Katniss was one she couldn’t face. Even if she believed deep down it was her reality.

“How we’re feeling.”

“Oh, that.” Katniss whispered; she spoke more for herself than Peeta in that moment. Peeta was clearly waiting for her to expand but she couldn’t do it. “What?”

“Well, you know how I felt about you.” Peeta had barely mentioned how he had felt about Katniss before the Capitol had changed him. There had been moments since the two had reunited in 12, and even back after Peeta had arrived in 13, that Katniss had seen a glimpse of what had been. It would only be for a second, sometimes not even that, but Katniss would see how Peeta felt about her. How he had protected her, cared for her, loved her. And she had taken it all for granted. It was as Haymitch said, she didn’t deserve Peeta. He was always too good for her. And now, Peeta, who had been so broken, so angry after the Capitol had changed him, he was still too good. Maybe Peeta had thought about his love for Katniss, why he had loved her so much, why he would have ever put his faith in someone like Katniss. But he hadn’t made that clear to Katniss. There had been moments of Peeta trying to remember certain things, or times when he had been triggered by something, but he’d never really disclose what those memories were. It made Katniss think maybe it was to do with her, and the fact Peeta couldn’t tell her about it, she felt hurt. It was something the two had always seemed to share, since their Victory Tour. They would protect each other, trust each other but they would always tell the truth, keep each other in the loop. But that wasn’t happening now, things had got far too complicated.

“And now?” Katniss felt the words slipping out and she couldn’t stop them. Yes, she wanted to know how Peeta felt. She truly had no idea, and it was becoming more and more confusing. Her feelings were becoming more and more apparent, and yet she had no real scope of what Peeta was thinking or feeling. Did those feelings even exist anymore for Peeta? Or was it just a childish dream that would never come true?

“Katniss… how many people fall in love with the same person twice?” Peeta sighed, and allowed himself a little chuckle, as if it was so amusing to him. Katniss was rather taken aback by this admission. It hadn’t occurred to her that Peeta could do that. After everything that had happened, she had of course yearned for Peeta to feel the same. The day they rescued Peeta from the Capitol; she had dreamed of their reunion so many times only for it to be torn away from her. She had watched Annie and Finnick together in the days after, spending all their time together and not letting each other go. She had thought of what it would like to kiss Peeta again, to touch him, for him to hold her in the night when the terrors came to visit her. Katniss had wondered whether there was a part of Peeta that did love her, but that part could never come to the surface. But Peeta had just admitted that he loved Katniss. How could that be?

“How could you, after everything?”

“I don’t know,” Peeta shook his head, but turned to face Katniss. Their eyes caught each other, and Katniss allowed hers to linger on Peeta. He looked sad, almost. Katniss didn’t like to see that, it hurt her in a way she couldn’t quite explain. “Because it’s you.” Peeta gave Katniss a smile, one only reserved for her, before stroking the bottom of her chin with his index finger.

A pause, as Katniss watched Peeta, trying to suss out his movements. He took a sip of water, before placing the glass back on the mat. Clearly sensing Katniss watching him, he turned back towards her, flopping back down onto the pillow.

“You were always so tricky to work out, real or not real?” Peeta frowned, glancing over towards Katniss. Katniss wondered whether this was really something Peeta needed reassurance on. There were times when he would ask a question and Katniss knew he didn’t need the answer, but he asked anyway. It was like a little game, like he was goading her, tricking her into saying something she felt she shouldn’t, or didn’t want to. But later on she would be angry at herself for thinking Peeta would do something like that intentionally. They both did things to survive, but could Peeta be that cruel? It was that unspoken thing between the two of them; that some things didn’t need to be said, that some things were left alone. But there was a time when Peeta was cruel, when he was angry, when he wanted Katniss dead. Katniss mind would sometimes wander back to those days when Peeta was released from his hospital shackles and would roam around District 13. His words were spiteful, they hurt. Peeta knew exactly what he was doing, even then. It was like he didn’t have a filter. He was using one of his strengths against them all. Katniss and anyone else who questioned him, anyone who attempted to make Peeta see the truth. But that was months ago, that broken Peeta had gone. The Peeta who lay beside Katniss was not fixed, but he was healing, just as Katniss was.

“Real, or at least you thought so, sometimes.” Katniss didn’t believe herself very tricky or very interesting at that. She didn’t let anyone in, she knew that. It took months for her and Gale to have a proper conversation, and even then, it was mostly about hunting. Katniss didn’t consider herself to be a very popular person. She had Prim, she had Gale, she spoke to Madge sometimes at school, she had her bow and that was enough. But Peeta had always made a point about that. He’d wanted to know things about Katniss, about her life, her family, her father, the Seam. Even when it was for the cameras in the first Games, Peeta always seemed to show an interest in what Katniss was saying. The story of Prim’s goat came to mind. It was something so small, so inconsequential, but seemed so important to Peeta. But Katniss seemed to give him so little, even when she tried so hard. But things didn’t have to be like that anymore, they couldn’t.

Another silence from Peeta. Katniss wasn’t sure whether she should try to fill it. She was never very good at that. That was always Peeta’s thing, his strength. But things were different now. Sometimes it would be like nothing had changed, Katniss would be reminded of those days on the train during the Victory Tour, or when the two were living in their separate houses, calling each other during the long storms, preparing for their wedding and waiting for the announcement of the Quarter Quell. Other times were harder, more difficult. Katniss had to do more than just listen or be in Peeta’s company. She had to put in the work, no matter how stubborn she could be, this was important. She understand how Peeta felt during those times on the Victory Tour, when he would desperately try to find out the silly little things about Katniss, when he tried to build bridges with her and be her friend. But Katniss didn’t want them to be friends. They could never truly just be friends. Admitting this to herself took some time, but once she had realised that she couldn’t think of anything else.

“You don’t need to work me out Peeta.” Katniss whispered this, as if she didn’t want anyone else to hear her admission. It was true though, Peeta didn’t need to. The two of them knew each other well enough, they shared something that no one else could truly understand and Katniss was going to hold onto that.

“OK.” Peeta moved closer to Katniss, placing a small kiss on her forehead, before brushing a strand of her to the side of her face. Katniss stayed silent, unsure on what to say next. Peeta had just admitted his feelings, but why couldn’t she? What was she so afraid of?

“Why is it always here?”

“What?”

“Why is it always here, my house and never yours?”

“I thought that was what you wanted. For me to stay.”

“Yes, but-“

“And I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, Katniss, but there’s a pretty big storm outside.” Katniss frowned, which just made Peeta smile wider. A memory flashed before Katniss’ eyes. The cave. Peeta’s injuries. His memory of Katniss singing the song. Her retelling of the goat story. Peeta’s smile when Katniss kissed him. It was still raw, at least to Katniss. She wondered if Peeta felt the same. She hoped Peeta remembered it. Those moments from their first games, those were the memories altered in Peeta’s brain. Those were the moments the doctors in 13 used to bring him back. Things the Capitol didn’t use to change him. That was what Katniss kept in the back of her mind, always there, just not reaching the surface. During that time in 13, it was hard to have any hope that Peeta would come back to her, her Peeta. It all had to be ignored, locked away. But things had changed, they were different. Peeta was here, he was next to Katniss, he was with her. Peeta was smiling at Katniss, in the only way he could. He was present, and Katniss was not going to let him go. Not this time. Peeta had said the words, the ones they could never truly say before. He had said them as if they held no power at all, as if it was obvious.

“I suppose we spend more time here than at my house. It’s not really my house anyway.”

“Why not?”

“It’s not where I grew up, it’s not the house I had after the first games. Everything I had before Is gone.” Peeta opened his mouth, as if he had more say, but closed it shut tight again, not letting the words escape. Katniss wondered what was going through his mind. Memories of his family, perhaps. The bakery. His older brothers, who he would wrestle with. His father, who was always so friendly to Katniss. His mother who scolded him that time with the bread. All of that had gone. Maybe Peeta had lost just as much as Katniss, maybe more. Peeta couldn’t travel through the districts to see old friends. Peeta couldn’t write letters. Peeta couldn’t phone his mother to keep up with her news. Everything Peeta once has was gone, and it was never coming back. But Peeta, he wasn’t alone. There was someone who never wanted to part from his side. Someone who would do everything in her power to stay and protect him. There was someone who loved him.

“You still have me.” Katniss realised she had blurted this out, without even thinking. But it was true. Peeta did still have Katniss, even if everything else was lost. Sometimes, Katniss imagined he felt as she had him, but he didn’t have her. There were things that she could have done differently, so many things. If Katniss ever thought too much about it, it hurt. It hurt a lot, like so many other things. But Peeta was there, they had each other now, and nothing could separate them. Katniss wasn’t going to let it happen. She didn’t have much belief in the system of Panem changing. She would watch as the world move on from what had happened, knowing she truly never could. But maybe it was just that she couldn’t do it alone. There was only one person who knew exactly how she felt, knew exactly what she had been through, and he was lying beside her. Peeta had experienced the same, if not worse than Katniss. He had even tried to shield her from those horrors. But he had made it out of the other side. Being part of the future, actually going to Dr Auerilius’ appointments. He was being better and making Katniss better to.

“And what a consolation.” Peeta smiled, his eyes lighting up as he focused them on Katniss. “It feels different there. I don’t…I don’t mind it but, I’m not sure I should be there. Just me.”

“You should be here. Where you belong.” And without even realising what she was doing, Katniss moved her head, so it was level with Peeta’s. A small kiss appeared from her lips to his. She had wanted to do that for a while but was too scared. Scared of how Peeta would react, what it would trigger. But Katniss couldn’t keep it to herself any longer. She had to let Peeta know this was how she was feeling. She wanted to touch him; she wanted him to touch her. Katniss didn’t want to be apart from Peeta, not ever again. The comfort she felt in his arms, the warmth, it was what she had longed for. This proved to Katniss exactly how she felt about Peeta, even after everything, after the battles, the death, the sadness, the guilt. Her feelings were stronger than ever and were not wavering. She couldn’t stop it now, it had to come to life. The fear Katniss had once felt about being open with Peeta, she couldn’t let it control her anymore. There was no point going back now, they had to move forward. And as Peeta said, they could do it together, they would do it together.

“Katniss…” Peeta started but stopped himself.

Katniss braced herself for disappointment. She knew how Peeta felt about her, or at least she did. It was more difficult now. She expected an excuse or a reason but none of that came. Instead, Peeta took the lead and planted a small kiss on her mouth. Clearly being careful with what he was doing. But Katniss didn’t just want a small kiss, it was like in the first games. Everything was confusing and she was playing the part, but she couldn’t deny that every time they kissed, she was always left wanting more. Peeta was confused. How he felt about Katniss, how she felt about him. But that kiss, the kiss that was initiated by Katniss after so long, told him everything he needed to know. That was Katniss’ way of saying ‘I want you’, ‘I need you’, ‘I love you’, ‘Do you love me?’

Peeta never stopped, even hijacked. That’s what made everything so frustrating and so difficult. He was always there, looming in the back of Katniss’ mind. Everything she did during the Games, during the Rebellion, and after, it all seemed to be for Peeta, connected to him. There was an invisible string, tethering them together. It was no use trying to deny or avoid it, they would always end up in the same space. As Katniss could feel Peeta pulling away, restricting himself, not pushing too far, she found herself pulling him towards her. Their simple, small kiss turned into something else, something more. That hunger that Katniss felt so many times had reappeared and had seemed to take over. Katniss’ lips crashed onto to Peeta’s, they found them and would not let go. Their noses brushed against each other, and Katniss felt Peeta’s soft hands stroke her jawline.

“Katniss, what took you so long?” Peeta whispered, his lips only inches away from hers. Katniss could feel the warmth of Peeta’s breath blowing against her. His question wasn’t accusing, but there was a sense of longing, a sense of confusion flowing from Peeta. This was a genuine question. What had taken Katniss so long? She was scared, of course she was. Scared that how she felt for Peeta wasn’t going to be reciprocated. Scared that she would have to live the rest of her life with the guilt, the anguish, the sadness but without Peeta. Katniss knew it was her turn to show Peeta how she felt. She had spent so long, so many times ignoring how she felt. Allowing Peeta to take the lead, to do the talking, to hold her in ways she couldn’t quite explain. But things had changed, as Katniss kept reminding herself.

“Me?”

“I’ve been waiting for you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, don’t ever be sorry.” Peeta smiled at Katniss, allowing his fingers to drag across her cheekbone. He tapped her face ever so slightly, tracing the odd freckles that had recently appeared on her face. Katniss could feel her cheeks warming up, likely turning a blush tone of red. Peeta still hadn’t taken his eyes off her, as if he wanted to remember every single detail of her face. All of her scars, her tears, all of her insecurities. Katniss wasn’t sure why she was blushing this time, but something felt different. The way Peeta was looking at her, it was as if something had shifted. Katniss realised something. She had never been in love with Peeta the way she was in that moment. She wanted to freeze it and stay in it forever.

Peeta picked up the pearl which was sitting on the bedside table nearest to him, allowing it to swirl around in his palm. Katniss watched him anxiously, not knowing what was going through his head. “I gave this to you, real or not real?”

“Yes,” Katniss swallowed, she continued to watch Peeta, trying to understand what he was thinking. Did he know how much that tiny pearl meant to her? How much she treasured it when she was in 13? How she’d kept in with her from the moment Peeta gave it to her, until when she shot her arrow through Coin’s chest? Maybe not, Katniss had never uttered the words to him. But she hadn’t needed to, neither of them needed to. Words didn’t always matter, not with Peeta and Katniss. It was things they did, the way they were around each other, the touches, the glances, those things said so much more than Katniss’ words ever could. Peeta was always better at that, being more open and honest, even when he had kept his true feelings for Katniss hidden away, not wanting to confuse her. And that just made Katniss feelings even stronger now. She loved Peeta. She had loved him longer than she initially realised. And Peeta had loved her, he had loved her when she thought she was completely unlovable. Even now, even when she returned to 12, broken and bruised. Peeta was there, and he would always be.

“I remember. We were on the beach. And then after…” Peeta stopped, furrowing his eyebrows, as if he was trying to remember what happened exactly. It seemed his couldn’t, but Katniss replayed that memory in her head. Peeta had opened the shell, ‘for you’, was what he had said to Katniss. A gesture so small and meaningless, and yet Katniss had thought of it so often. Twirling the pearl around in-between her index finger and thumb was the one thing that helped her sleep in those days underground. But she was always met with a dream filled with Peeta, a Peeta who didn’t exist anymore.

“You kept it?” Katniss nodded. She waited for Peeta to ask, for her to stumble over her words, trying to explain but it never came. Peeta continued to roll the pearl around and around and around. “I’m surprised it survived.”

“I kept this, too.” Katniss motioned towards the bedside table. Peeta’s medallion sat closest to her. Along with the pearl, her Mockingjay pin, and the photograph of her father, it was one of her most important possessions. She always kept it close, like she had a piece of Peeta close to her. It hadn’t been opened in some time; Katniss couldn’t face the photographs that were placed inside. Katniss watched Peeta as he turned to the direction of the medallion. He started to frown, clearly trying to remember it, remember who gave it to him, what he had done with it, what it meant. It meant a great deal to Katniss, maybe more than she had allowed herself to realise before now. When Peeta had shown her what was being kept inside, when he had laid his soul bare to her, it changed something in her. Katniss knew in some way how Peeta felt about her. She understood the unspoken agreement the two had with each other, protecting each other. But Peeta’s admission to everything when he showed her the medallion, that sealed it for Katniss. Peeta put Katniss above himself. Nothing else seemed to matter to him, only that Katniss survived, that she lived, even if that meant a life without Peeta. “Do you remember?” Katniss asked innocently, trying to trigger something within Peeta. Anything. It didn’t have to be a memory, not even a thought but a feeling. Peeta must have had some kind of feeling about that moment in time, that moment in their life, that moment that was engraved in Katniss’ brain. It was a moment that she played over and over again whilst in District 13, wondering if she would ever see Peeta again.

Peeta blinked and took a moment to answer. “Yes, I do.” He moved to lie on his back once again, his face looking up at the ceiling, with almost no expression. Katniss couldn’t read him, he didn’t look angry, or sad, there was nothing there. Maybe he was lost in a memory, maybe it was a cold, dark one. Or maybe he was just thinking. Sometimes, Katniss would catch herself worrying about Peeta’s memories before she even opened her eyes in the morning. Whenever he would suddenly stop, a wave of anxiety would fall upon her. It was tough, at times, to be constantly on edge. But Katniss couldn’t blame Peeta, and she wouldn’t. She had done enough of that in the past.But now? She didn’t want Peeta to be lost in a memory. Katniss had to be the one to anchor him back. She couldn’t lose him again.

Realising Katniss would need to be the one to talk this time, she would need to fill the silence, she shifted so slightly, knocking her arm into Peeta’s. “You were being noble, trying to tell me no one needed you, that no one would miss you.” Katniss wanted to bring Peeta back to the present, back to her. So many times, recently had he become lost in a memory, in a moment from their past. It would take over, take control, and show Peeta the unimaginable horrors of his past. Sometimes it would last a minute, sometimes hours. And after…Peeta would be so exhausted. He’d close in on himself, and Katniss couldn’t get in. Some nights he would just sleep, even with the nightmares visiting him. But other times Peeta would change, he would be quiet and push Katniss away. Tonight, would not be one of those nights.

“Hm. I seemed to do a lot of that. I remember…what they showed me in 13. Things from the Games, things that had been…altered, I guess. It made everything so confusing. But at the Capitol, they never showed me that one. I remembered it though, when the doctors showed me.”

“I remembered too. I thought about it a lot.” Katniss was almost surprised at this admission, but she knew it was important for her to say.

“I’m glad you kept it. But you didn’t answer my question, Katniss.”

“I didn’t realise it was a question.”

“Katniss.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“I don’t want you to say anything, Katniss, bu-“

“Need me to say?”

“It’s alright, you don’t have to say anything.” Peeta moved towards Katniss and softly kissed her on the rim of her nose. He stayed in that position for a few seconds, before tapping her nose and moving back to lie on his back. Katniss thought her actions would tell Peeta everything he needed to know. That was something she became quite good at during the Games. She wasn’t like that Peeta in that regard, he never needed to be trained on what to say. Katniss worked better with her actions. There were her way in letting people know what she was feeling. In the cave, in those glimpses of vulnerability, Katniss could allow herself to feel. The slight touches, sleeping against Peeta, allowing herself to let the hunger lead, kissing him. It was true that she was guided by Haymitch and the gifts he would send, but there was a sense of Katniss being in control. The cameras were there watching her every move, but there were moments when she seemingly forgot. Some of the things she said, the things she told Peeta were not part of the act. She felt those things for him. She allowed herself to be open, even if she couldn’t quite admit her feelings. Peeta seemed to accept it then, but things had changed since then. Maybe it was time to for Katniss to be honest, truly honest.

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