#Yesterday was Tuesday. But today is Tuesday too. (ooc)

[egg-but-with-style]

Butcher ghost 2, electric boogalo

Tw: definitely ooc

1 2 3

You were panicking at the moment, standing outside his shops door. Holding day old chicken spadini in your hands. You threw in some fettuccine alfredo that you had made too.

You had texted him yesterday night, after you left your parents house, waiting until you got home to decide if you wanted to talk to him or not. Of course you did, he was handsome, or atleast his eyes looked handsome. Or maybe you just had a thing for guys with huge arms and a small penchant for violence.

When you had texted him, he seemed so dry. Only a couple word responses, then he told you to meet him inside his shop, said Tuesdays were always slow. In the back of your head, there was a little common sense. 'What if he's actually a serial killer? How do you know he isn't a creep?' which were questions you should've probably taken more seriously, but the knife and taser in your purse gave you reassurance.

You finally, having some courage, pulled open the door and went in. He seemed alot less focused today, like he was waiting for something. You watched his head snap up once the door closed, it letting out a slight creak.

He was surprised when you actually texted him, he was speechless when you agreed to come back to the shop, and now that it was all real, you standing in front of the counter, it made his jaw hit the floor.

He wasn't good at romance, or first impressions, or flirting. But he liked what he saw, he liked what he heard. He also might've stalked your socials after you told him your name over text. Only to check if you had a partner, definitely only that.

You saw him looked a little surprised, but the mask definitely blocked most of the facial expressions you would've seen, which he was thankful for. You spoke up, "Hi, Simon. I um.. bought the chicken..oh and I put some pasta in there too, figured chicken wasn't a balanced meal on its own and all that." You walked over to the counter and set down the Tupperware container. He spoke, his voice a little less rough today for some reason. "Mum used to tell me I couldn't just eat meat, now I run a butcher shop"

You let out a giggle. Your round cheeks becoming almost circles as you smiled. He felt his face heating up behind his mask, which was already so humid. He swore if he looked in a mirror now, he'd see his pupils being about the size of a saucer. He cleared his throat, trying not to feel embarrassed.

"It..it looks good though."

He hadn't eaten for the last 5 hours just because he wanted to be able to eat whatever you gave him. (Including dessert, if you catch my drift) Which you seemed to give him an ample portion, he was a big guy after all.

You thought he seemed a tiny bit nervous. Was it..you that was making him nervous? You shook off the idea, maybe he was just a little jumpy specifically on Tuesdays.

"Do..do you want to try some? I heated it up before I drove here. Even though you probably have a microwave.."

You realized maybe it was kind of a stupid idea to heat it up for him, but you had been so worried he might not have liked it. So you just wanted him to eat it as soon as possible. Not wanting to deal with the fear.

"No, no that's fine. I'd have to run all the way upstairs to my flat to heat it up anyway."

You watched him slowly open the container and pull up his mask just slightly to get the smell in. It seemed like his shoulders physically relaxed once he got a good sniff in. It was kinda cute.

"Do..do you want me to look away or?"

You weren't sure if the mask was just for protection, or if he just didn't like people seeing his face. He looked at you and seemed a little stunned that you asked. He slowly shook his head. "It's alright."

He hoped you wouldn't judge him because of his face, of all the scars, from acne and otherwise, not to mention the nose that had clearly been broken before, but when he pulled down the mask fully, you swore you were seeing something carved from marble.

His nose was crooked, a few scars lining the philtrum and the bridge. Then to his lips, the top one have a scar through the left side and slightly cleft because of it. His jaw and chin were just as impressive, being a bit soft, but still so pretty.

"You're beautiful.." you quickly covered your mouth, looking embarrassed for even saying that. "I..I'm so sorry! I didn't, I wasn't thinking.." Oh you were thinking, you were just thinking about how handsome he was.

That's when you saw his face turn a bit red. "Its..it's no problem. Don't worry about it" He looked away for a second, coughing and then looking back to you. Trying to play off the blush finding it's way to his ears.

He picked up a fork he brought down here specifically for the chicken you were bringing him. He felt kind of like a dork, but all that was forgotten when he took a bite of the chicken. He even let out a little groan. The seasoning, the flavor from the overnight marination in the sauces. He felt like he was in heaven, he looked like he was too.

Once he chewed and swallowed, he spoke up. "This is really fucking good." He really wanted to scarf it down right in front of you, but he already felt embarrassed and vulnerable enough, so he closed the container, to his own dismay. "I'll eat the rest of it once I close down shop. I..I wanted to ask you something"

You had been staring in awe at his reaction to your cooking, snapping out of it once he addressed you directly. You had a feeling what he was gonna ask, you just hoped you were right. "What did you wanna ask me?"

He blurted it out, hoping if he said it fast enough you'd just say yes. "Do you wanna go on a date with me?" Was it a little werid to ask the lady he just met yesterday out on a date? Yes. Yes it was. But he could care less. He knew he couldn't charm you the normal way, so it was a Hail Mary.

You heart fluttered a little, hearing the words come from his lips. "YES! I..I mean sure. Yeah, totally." You really didn't mean to yell but who gets the chance to go on a date with a beefcake like him everyday?

Your enthusiastic reply made his lips quirk up into a small smile. He was glad you were just as nervous, terrified, and frankly down bad as he was.

While you were indeed as taken as him as he was with you, you were still a woman and wanted to meet in a public place. You had some common sense left. "How does coffee on Saturday sound? Or..or tea if you don't like coffee.." He in fact did not like coffee. His smile got a little wider and he nodded. "Sounds like a date."

Authors note: In my au, I don't think ghost joined the military, but I do think he did some boxing in his teens and early 20s, definitely getting roughed up alot. I'm not sure if I'm happy with how I wrote this, so who knows I might rewrite it in the future.

I also wanted to thank you guys for 300 some notes on the first part of this! I'm really new to writing, and I'm glad you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoy making it. Also, I'm a dork and a goofy ghost believer, so deal! Thanks for reading, and I hope you liked it!

[privilege-rpg]

A COUPLE OF NOTICES!

REGARIDING ACCEPTANCES

When we started the group last week, we said we weren't going to have a set acceptance schedule. Truthfully, however, that was because we didn't expect the group to do so well (this is the absolute opposite of a complaint!!), but since it has, we've decided we're going to accept on set days and at a set time to make things a bit easier on us as admins. With that said, we'll be testing out an acceptance schedule from here on out of: TUESDAYS, FRIDAYS AND SUNDAYS at 10PM GMT/5PM EST. This may decrease to two days depending on how things go, but ideally we'll keep the three as we don't want to keep anyone waiting too long to bring their character(s)!

REGARDING OUR FIRST EVENT

Yesterday, Andie posted in the member feedback channel in the OOC discord asking who would be around for this weekend's event* and is interested in participating in the small, simple task we have planned. Most people have responded, I think we're just missing maybe three or four people, so if you haven't responded yet and you're interested in taking part, please do so ASAP so we can get things set up - we don't want to leave anyone out! We'll be posting further details of the event later today, then will make a post in the morning when event interactions can begin. *You're still able to participate in the event without reacting, however you won't be included in the task as it'll be quite specific to each member.

Thank you for reading!

[smiletimeisrunningout]

ooc: I'll probably keep being unable to stay online today, especially for chats and things that require my constant presence, because I have a terrible headache since yesterday and my white noise headband broke, so I will not be able to get real rest until at least tuesday. For now I'm going on with paracetamol and rest, which means being unable to write (and probably to play videogames too, I'll be bored to no end) I'll be back as soon as I can, though, can't wait to finish that plotting and to reply to things!

[exblccdjunkie]

//Just got on to drop some threads and maybe do some writing, but I’m still not feeling it right now. I don’t know. I’m not leaving this blog, I swear, but I’m just not ready to be active on it again yet. But I really don’t want to lose contact with all my awesome friends on here. I’m much more active on my new blog @manesframe so please come see me there and we can chat in DMs. Also, if you don’t have my discord message me and I’ll give it to you. Maybe I can get up some muse to write Sam on there.

[plushiesssforcrying]

Now Playing... ☼ after school.

characters ; satou ryusei [tokyo revengers] / gender neutral ! reader

pronouns ; you / your

contents ; fluff, strangers to lovers/friends, reader is cold at first but we love them for it, might be ooc kshdjdh

Monday, 3.45 P.M.

‘Stupid paperwork.’

You walked down the hallway after returning from the teacher’s lounge, your hands shoved in your pockets.

You had decided to help out your teacher after school, simply for a good deed but your teacher had failed to mention the missing paperwork to you before you had already cleaned up.

So here you are walking back to the second year’s class to get the papers so you can quickly go home.

‘I brought this upon myself though, didn’t I..’ You scratched the back of your head tiredly before sighing and deciding you’ll just play games till morning.

Upon sliding open the door, you were met with an empty classroom. Except for the white haired boy sleeping on a desk at the back of the classroom.

Almost as if it was planned, the boy woke up. Stretching and yawning when he noticed the classroom being nearly empty. You simply ignored the boy and went to grab the papers on the teacher’s desk.

“School ended. You should get home.”

Without batting an eye at the boy, you closed the classroom door and finally delivered the papers before heading home.

You thought back at the snake tattoo on the boy’s neck.

‘A delinquent, huh...’

Tuesday, 8.30 A.M.

You went to school early today to help the students with morning cleaning, only to find the white haired boy from yesterday holding a broom with a tired look.

You held your bag’s straps tightly as you walked inside. The boy noticed your presence but you simply put your bag down and took another broom to help him out.

While sweeping, you sneak a glance at the boy to see him staring at you curiously. He looked as if he wants to say something but you didn’t mention it and kept cleaning.

No other exchange was made when students finally starts filling up the classroom.

Tuesday, 3.47 P.M.

You came back to the classroom after throwing out the trash, only to find it empty.

Everyone must have left early. Not surprised, the incinerator takes way too long to finish up. You went to the middle row to grab your bag that's hanging off your chair when you spotted another bag at the back of the class.

Almost on cue, the same boy from before walked in, sounding frustrated.

“Where is it. Where– oh.” He noticed you almost immediately but you ignored him as always and continued packing your stuff.

‘Déja vu much?’

The aforementioned boy quickly grabbed the bag from the back but before he left, he turned back around.

“What’s your name?”

You flinched at the sudden question and answered him hesitantly.

He gave you a smile before responding with his own name.

“Satou Ryusei.”

And with that, he waved goodbye, leaving you confused.

Wednesday, 3.45 P.M.

“[L/N]-san, sorry to bother but could you gather all the english projects and send it to the teacher? I have a meeting to get to.” The class representative plead to you with her hands clasped together.

You begrudgingly agreed as she immediately rushed out when the the last bell chimed.

You announced to the class about their work before they start dispersing. One by one, students left their papers at your table.

While counting, you realize an assignment was missing, along with someone who you noticed wasn't present in class since lunch.

Ryusei closed his eyes as the dawn sunlight hits his face. The warm rays colliding with the cool air.

His breathing evens out as he slowly drifted off.

“Classes are finished and I hope your work is too.” Ryusei’s eyes fluttered open to see your figure hovering over him.

You both stared at each other in silence before he sat up, yawning.

You crossed your arms, watching the boy in front of you closely. “I don’t get the point of you coming to school only to skip and sleep away your classes.”

“Hm? It’s not good if I don’t go, isn’t it?”

“I feel like you’re missing a point in that sentence...”

You sighed, not wanting to deal with the boy any longer. So quickly ask him about the project, to which he only responded with confusion.

Right... He wasn’t in most classes..

“You’re making my job more difficult than it needs to be...” You pinched the bridge of your nose.

“It’s not a lot, can you finish it before you head home?” You glanced back at Ryusei, who’s now looking at you curiously.

He stared at you silently for a bit [which made you mildly uncomfortable] before standing up wordlessly.

“Sure. What was the work?” He gave you a genuine smile which made your heart skip a beat.

You’re not one to fall at first sight but with a pretty face like that, who wouldn’t be swooning?

You quickly tell him the assignment needed to do as you both head back to the classroom.

Wednesday, 4.15 P.M.

You waited for Ryusei to finish his work but 10 minutes in after you gave him the paper, he bashfully asked for your help. Which you were more than happy to help with.

You both finally finished the assignment in 20 minutes. You sent the papers to the teacher’s lounge and got ready to head home.

When you reached the gate, you saw Ryusei Waiting by the entrance. He looked up from his phone with a bored look, only to beam and wave happily when saw you.

“Why haven’t you head home yet?”

“Thought I’d walk you home for the trouble I caused.” You blinked, unsure of what to say.

This guy is a delinquent?

“I guess you can do that... Um, thank you.”

You and Ryusei chatted while walking home. Well, Ryusei chatted and you happily listened.

He had been rambling off about sea animals and how fascinating they are. While you’re more fascinated at how cute his interests are for a delinquent.

As he told you another fun fact about vampire squids, you chimed in. “You’re not what I thought you’d be.”

Ryusei stopped for a second before giving you a soft smile. “Mean and scary?”

You let out an embarrassed chuckle before meekly letting out a small ‘yea..’

He shoved his hands into his pockets. “Well, I thought you’d be mean and scary too.”

You gripped your bag’s straps before leaning closer, “Me..?”

“Terrifying.”

You smiled at the boy as he simply return with one of his own.

After school hours are fun.

wasn't sure how to end this one but here's the cutest fluff i could think of + not exactly proof read

this is also made out of spite cause school sucks

reblogs appreciated !

[bnhxx]

What Do I Tell My Friends?

Part one of a little yandere shinsou x reader fic I felt like doing! Ngl, it kinda hurt to do my man dirty like this but shinsou as a degenerate yandere is just....👌🤌 ya know ya know

(Also @gummy-dummy recommended me Mr. Fear by Siames for this series and ohhh it fits so well 😳🙏 we know im a hoe for song fics so if you want smth to listen to this song is perfect)

I tried to make this obvious, but Shinsou and Reader are college age here.

I was originally going to post the entire thing, but I got wayy too ahead of myself here ksbsjdvd.

Character: Hitoshi Shinsou

Ship: Hitoshi Shinsou x reader

Genre: Yandere, not canon! Shinsou (yandere shinsou is very ooc imo)

Warnings: Yandere themes all over this series, isolation, stalking, gaslighting, manipulation, emotionally abusive relationship, DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT!

part one | part two | part three | part four-final |

Since when did it become so hard to love Shinsou Hitoshi? Were you were meant to crumble and fall into his hands, subservient and malleable to his unseen desires? Maybe your fate had been cursed. Did you do something wrong in a past life?

You fell so easily into his arms, you could almost justify it as fate. He said you were meant to fall, all broken and desperate and clinging to his love. The same way he fell for you.

It had all started in a convenient accident. Your time, your glances, then your morning coffee was stolen; all by his convenient little accident.

It started out as an innocent mistake you wouldn't usually be so forgiving to. Your Tuesday morning coffee always gets you through the day so much easier after all. Still...Hitoshi, who came into your life as the guy who took your order instead of his was cute-and his impossibly strong coffee did you just fine for the day. Maybe that was it- a convenient, unfortunate accident.

Only it was never destined to be just that. What started as an accident on a gloomy Tuesday morning grew so fast-you were so innocent to what your new found friend had in store for you. Naive to the sick obsession unravelling before your eyes.

That fateful day, you kept getting reminded of the handsome, polite man. Purple blurred your vision on the way back to the office, then again on your way home. You were either seeing things, or that had been the third time you'd seen his lavender hair today. Maybe you were in need of an early night tonight.

Maybe you were over-reacting. The mornings events had put a rosey tint to the rest of your terribly busy day, that was all. There was no way your routes were this coordinated all of a sudden, right? You convinced yourself at the time you were seeing things. Laughed about it to your coworker, as they told you to give dating a second chance if you were fantasising over the first cute person who gave you attention.

The next day, he was at the coffee shop the same time, just about to exit. He insisted on paying you back for yesterday's mishap, even as you reassured him it was fine. You didn't even need to tell him your order- he knew it exactly from yesterday. He really was planning on seeing you again, huh.

So you decided to chat with the man while you both waited for your order to be made, and then some more before you went your separate ways. Shinsou was in university; yet he preferred to take late night classes and take the early morning shifts at his part time job.

"No wonder your coffee is so strong. I don't know how you do it! That takes some crazy dedication," That managed a ghost of a smile from him.

"Heh, thanks. I guess that means I'll see you tomorrow morning to?" He rubbed his hand over the back of his neck, and you beamed. You were hoping he'd say something like that; you were eager to know more about this attractive stranger.

"Of course!"

After that first week, he started showing up in your life more and more. It seems as though you both had a similar schedule, bumping into each other on your weekend jogs as well as your morning coffee runs. Then at the movie theatre that was airing your favourite show; coincidently, it was his too. Before you knew it, you were seeing Shinsou almost every week. Maybe you'd been too wrapped up in your intrigue to notice, but he was slowly covering all aspects of your life.

Your intrigue had turned to curiosity. And the more he crept into your life, the less you could help yourself. The more time you spent with Shinsou, the more you needed to crack open his mysterious, private shell. You liked all the same shows, enjoyed the same hobbies, even your values seemingly aligned. So why did it still feel like you were running a marathon trying to figure him out? Why did you get the strangest feeling he was already doing laps around you?

It wasn't just what you knew about him, either. He hardly introduced you to many of his friends and colleagues-you didn't even know if he had friends outside of you. And yet, he had seemingly made it his mission to know your own social circle like the back of his hand. Maybe he was bad at making friends? Protective of his new found friend? You let him tag along with your friends so they could get to know each other, but he never really made an effort to befriend them.

He would tell you it was because he didn't feel the need to be around anyone else, that you were enough for him. He laughed when you asked if he had many friends, and waved off your concerns. "A few. None like you, though," That earned him a blush. If he was treating you differently, maybe you should do the same. You started prioritising his time over your friends, much to their chagrin.

----

When you look back to the way he confessed to you, you wished you picked up on the signs then and there. He was an all consuming force in your life before; and yet, this was the complete opposite.

As if he was a ghost of your imagination, Hitoshi Shinsou had all but disappeared from your life. Not only had he not replied to your texts or calls, he was nowhere to be found in your routine, either.

You kept your eyes peeled for his familiar figure on your morning runs.

You swallowed your pride and asked the barista if they'd seen the lavender haired man at all; they offered you a sympathetic smile and shook their head.

You even took walks around the building where he claimed to work at, hoping to catch a glance of the man. It was to no avail; your efforts were all in vain. He slotted himself into your life so easily, only to slip out of your grasp just as quickly.

It hurt to have been so invested in him, the man that showed up out of nowhere and all but swept you off your feet, all to have it cut off so suddenly. Like vertigo, you stumbled through the rest of the week in a whiplash.

So when he came to you that Friday night, you were hesitant. If the guilt ridden look on his face was anything to go by, he was ready to apologise. Well, good. You were ready for an explanation.

He was seemingly ready for you to slam the door right in his face, and the look of shock on his face made your heart pang with guilt. He did say he didn't have many friends. Maybe he was simply busy? But, the way he went about ghosting you for an entire week hurt...well, he would explain for himself. The two of you could work things out, you were sure of it.

He was sorry. He didn't mean to distance himself so fast, so coldly. He only gave you one excuse.

"I guess you could say I got cold feet," he sheepishly excused.

"In truth...I was debating whether you'd accept me as something more than just friends," And you thought the past week had uprooted you. You blinked, and his sheepish, hopeful face (that was frustratinginly attractive even when you were mad at him) dropped.

"I mean, I really haven't gone about this the right way, have I? And for that, I'm sorry. I promise, I won't leave you in the dark like that again. But, if you'd hear me out for a moment..." That smile again...it really was going to be the death of you. With a nod, you sealed your fate that night.

At least he didn't try and buy your forgiveness with some expensive chocolates.

----

It was your second mistake to take his possessiveness as passion.

Darling as Hitoshi was when it was just the two of you, you found your new lover to have quite the jealous streak. Gentle teasing from your friends turned into back handed comments whenever Shinsou insisted to invite himself to your friends hangouts.

"Great, here comes the guard dog," You were almost afraid he would actually start growling at the next stranger who offered you a smile or wink as they passed you by.

You took your friends advice, and attempted to reassure him- for him to place more trust in your friends. Maybe they were occasionally late or flakey, but it didn't warrant such policing behaviour from him. If there was a problem, you could deal with it yourself. You didn't need to distance yourself from your friends any more than you already were.

It's like he thinks your some child who can't even tie their own shoes! The comment, from your friends last argument sparked something in you. It sat in the back of your mind and haunted you for weeks before you decided to confront Shinsou on his behaviour.

This only proved to make him more distressed. He started pointing fingers-who said that? What was her name, again? Wasn't she the one who left you all alone at that bar for some guy? You tried to tune him out, only to have those fingers turn to you.

Why were you defending all of your so called friends anyways? He'd given you all the facts, why couldn't you see they were clearly not deserving of your time like he was? They didn't see you like he did. Couldn't care for you, like he could. He gives you his everything, always; so why were you making him out to be the villian?

Perhaps you were too naive to call him an enigma. You weren't ready to admit it to yourself, but your friends were right. The tight leash he held on you wasn't passion-it was possession. His interrogations and guilting were never just trust issues, and a part of you knew it. Perhaps it was nothing but a pathetic, pitiful excuse on your end.

You had realised that you were in too deep a moment too late. If only you'd acted on it more sooner; Hitoshi Shinsou would remain the unsolvable enigma you wished you could have the resolve to unravel.

If only you weren't so stubborn to see it through.

"You're trying to defend them again, aren't you?"  He asked as you were one foot out the door of your shared apartment. This time he caught you sneaking out to see your friends. You felt like some rebellious teen acting out against their parents.

Like a kid who can't tie their own shoes.

You turned, frowned, and opened your mouth to deny his allegations as you always would. To reassure him that you love him, and understand his concern. To reiterate loving you didn't mean keeping you to himself in your shared apartment like a bird in a cage. These four walls sure were starting to feel like one.

Maybe you should've listened to the rumours you all but ignored. The ones that told you to never answer his questions.

----

When you first woke up, you had no knowledge of the past few hours-nothing, except Shinsou's shaking arms around you as his sobs muffled the apologies and pleas tumbling out of his lips. You tensed in his hold.

You wanted to glare icicles into his sunken, crumpled form. To scream and yell and curse at him for breaking your trust in such a way.

Even still...you couldn't. You couldn't bring yourself to hold your boundaries strong. To see your composed, mysterious, private boyfriend- before you, all frazzled, open and vulnerable.

It was a vulnerability you had never seen-yet always craved from him. Finally, you had unravelled his mystery. Under it all, he really was just a lovely, lonely boy with a unfair, cruel fate. He was clearly distraught with what he had done to you. Now wasn't the time for your pain. You had to stop yourself from lashing out for your own selfish reasons. You'd have a talk with him tomorrow, you promised.

This was your Hitoshi, you reasoned as he cried in your arms. He didn't have anyone else who trusted him like you did. He had closed himself off from everyone, because they didn't trust him- and neither did he, you realised as he clung to you and begged you not to leave him through his broken sobs. He didn't deserve to have you leave him. Not over one little mistake.

While you soothed his cries, you imagined everything to be better. Yeah, things would turn out fine. He would make it up to you and let you see your friends, and you could move to helping him trust more. To be a little less possessive, and a little more friendly. To not see you as the only light in his life.

Only, he never gave any indication to changing his mind before. Everyone else was always too kind to be trusted, or not doing enough. He could better spend his time with you, because you was perfect. Perfect when you were next to him.

You weren't naive enough to believe he would be the only person you'd need in your life. But you looked down at your boyfriends doubtful, teary eyed face. Poor, broken, vulnerable Hitoshi.

You'd tell your friends you were sick this time round and couldn't make it. Your time was better spent with him, anyways.

Next time, you promised, he'd be more accepting. He'd learn to trust others again. Just like you'd learn to trust him all over.

And as much as you tried to reassure yourself, a voice in your head spoke venom into your ear.

This won't be the last time he breaks your trust, it whispered.

"A bit of passion and possessiveness never hurt anyone, right?"

He gave you the first weak smile you'd seen from him all night, and you relaxed your face as much as you could. He didn't have to know you weren't talking to him.

He promised he'd never do it again. He couldn't-wouldn't. So you forgave him that day. But that little voice in your head weighed heavy in your heart-you knew, deep down, that you didn't believe him one bit.

It was time to start un-muting all of your friends notifications. You would text them more freely-baby steps. The thought warmed your smile into a genuine one.

----

[helliontwins]

OOC: Under readmore

Tl;dr at bottom.

Aight so as some of you know because of the virus I’m stuck at home. It’s miserable and i miss going out. Not that i did a lot while out but it’s the fact that I’d get fresh air and be doing things other than sitting around all day. A few days ago (like four at this point) I asked for help finding some kind of fitness thing to do and someone (not gonna post url because idk if they are okay with it) suggested Pilates or Yoga. After looking them up and considering pros and cons 

Pilates would build strength for me verse yoga with is more body and mind along with flexibility, (The most basic explanation I can give) I decided on yoga for multitude of reasons including that I have severe scoliosis {above 50-55 degree angle of the spine} and the fact I’m not looking to build muscle but rather looking to just feel healthier.

So I just wanna get out there What I’m doing. In the morning I start with an 11 minute yoga wake up video, and at first  (as it’s day four now) I didn’t think id see any difference because of just this video but I have. Even if my postures not correct yet i have noticed every day it’s getting better and my strength actually is rising. I was super super shaky day one on my knees hovering a few inches and today I wasn’t shaky though i felt the burn. Day one I could not hold my weight on one leg while holding the other up (knee to chest foot as close to butt as I could) but today I was extremely shaky but I did it!

Around 2 ish I do a daily beginners video follow along (I’ve decided Tuesdays and Thursdays to skip as I go out with a friend to walk around the park and that’s more than killer enough for my legs lol). Not much to say about this yet cus I only did Day 1 and 2 (three will be today as yesterday was Thursday).

It has helped with my depression some so far and I’m hoping that I can stick to it and finish the daily challenge. If you are considering Yoga or some at home exercise I do suggest this woman and her video’s as they are super easy to follow along with and there are things in the video’s, bloopers I guess, that make them more enjoyable such as her making jokes or vocal mistakes and I’ve found myself laughing at them. 

Overall it’s just been a solid good experience so far and I’m excited to continue. Hoping that making this small post might help explain my absence and that I’m on a mini-hiatus due to mental struggles with being locked up. I want to come back soon and can’t wait to rp with y’all again. I’m going to tag this all as Pretzel Lamborghini so that y’all can block it if you dont wanna see it. I’ll be posting IC yoga updates along with ooc ones all will be tagged the same.

Tl;dr I’ve started Yoga for my physical and mental health. So far so good. I’m on a small hiatus cus of my mental health. I will post updates OOC now and again, and making IC updates too. All of it will be tagged Pretzel Lamborghini so y’all can blacklist it.

[exblccdjunkie]

//I don’t want to type all of this up all over again because I feel like Hope covered it but yeah. This is happening. Read her tags for the full rant.

. idk how to tag this but ranting about my roommates in the tags don’t read if you don’t want negativity/discussion of toxic living environments i guess?

[x-wearethefuture-x]

((I should be getting a few replies later tonight, before I go to bed. Tomorrow, Wednesday, and Thursday, however, I’ll be a bit busy, so I apologize if there’s little getting done then.))

[nappainanotherdimension]

★ ☆ x2 for each please :P

{Send me a ★ for an IC fact or send me a ☆ for an OOC fact. || Open and Accepting!}  

★ Nappa Fact 1

When we see Nappa in DBZ, his mustache is shaved to have his philtrum/medial cleft free of facial hair. 

But after the year it takes for him and Vegeta to travel to Earth, the hair has grown in, but the rest of his mustache looks neither longer, nor fuller. Which makes me wonder if his facial hair grows in so little that slowly (Saiyan facial hair is said to take a long time to grow out?? If I remember that correctly) or if perhaps he kept up with his mustache and decided to let the hair grow in. (Also his mustache is grown in around his medial cleft and looks thicker in the upcoming DBS Broly movie. Could just be an art change thing but idk. I’m an over-analyzer.)

★ Nappa Fact 2

Nappa fights good in the air, and he seems to really enjoy flying a lot in Earth’s low gravity. Which implies he likes to fight up in the air in order to be so “accustomed” to it, as Piccolo says. And I wonder if video games like Xenoverse 2 and FighterZ take this into account. (Probably not because they probably just make him the powerful but slower guy.)

☆ Raxceni Mun Fact 1

Although I tend to use a few different anime characters for my Mun FC icons that express my mood or personality, Miaka Yuki from Fushigi Yuugi is the character I have the most icons of, and who I try to use the most for consistency. Fans of the series might not like her as much compared to the Genbu Kaiden heroine, but I feel like people often overlook Miaka’s other admirable qualities that make her a relatable character to me and my perspective. 

Finding the value in overlooked characters is kinda a thing I do, and it’s why I know and love Nappa the way I do. So it’s only fitting that my main FC be a character who’s often dismissed by fans for being stupid and annoying because of the decisions she makes. (Which I agree, both Nappa and Miaka make dumb and questionable choices...but still, they have admirable qualities. Also, now that I think about it...a lot of peers treated me like I was stupid and annoying too. So it all makes sense.)

☆ Raxceni Mun Fact 2

I’ve been suffering from a lot physical health issues that can change on a daily basis. Yesterday evening I went from feeling good to oh no here’s another health issue tied to what’s wrong with me. Today I’m okay, not as good as like Sunday thru Tuesday, but better than last week. Last week was hell.

I’m being treated with medication for the cause, (I’ve been on the medication for a month now) and it’s such a relief to know what has been going on with my body. It affected my quality of living, and it’s even been a big reason why I’ve been so slow and selective with roleplaying compared to when I was new in the Spring and Summer of 2017. 

But before 2017? I would rarely get sick! Ever! Maybe a few times in the year and it would just be with a cold! 

[cursehqs]

hello friends !!  i have a bit of a big post today because i am going to throw all my announcements & thoughts into one, please take a few moments to read through this !

i have updated the faceclaim & character list, the wanted connections, and the ooc list, and i am currently working on the character page ( all the characters should be there, just some of the graphics are missing ) i would really appreciate if you took a quick glance to make sure you and your characters are up there because i’m bound to miss a few things.  plus i did most of this at five am on no sleep so that doubles the chances for mistakes.

this is a friendly reminder to all our members that we should try to be as welcoming as possible to new members that join us !!  it has been brought to my attention that a few new members have been feeling a bit overwhelmed and left out because we are such a large group and they haven’t been approached by anyone !  keep in mind that it’s much harder and scarier for new members to message everyone in the group than it is for old members to send a quick hello to our newbies !  also keep in mind that not every new member is in the ooc chat, so sending them a little hello on tumblr, asking them if they’d like to plot, liking their intro, and interacting them is very important !  it’s also been added to the rules !

please try your best to keep your activity up !  i know this is a busy time of year with back to school and work so if you need hiatus let us know.  but for those who are not on hiatus, remember to keep posting at least every three days or we will be putting you on activity check.  i know i have been pretty lax with activity checks recently, but this is too large a roleplay to keep that up and i am going to try hard to get back on track with them !  this isn’t me trying to be mean or anything, but good activity is really the only way jess and i would ever consider upping the character limit !!

reminder that we have a plotting tag that you can utilize to post starter calls, plotting calls, wanted connections, or whatever else you’d like.  even if you’re not posting in this tag, make sure you’re checking it regularly as well as the intro tag to make sure you have a chance to plot with new people !!  don’t just rely on people coming to you, don’t be afraid to message someone !!

i’d also like to remind everyone that we have a trigger list on our main.  please make sure you take a look at this list if you haven’t and make sure you are tagging all triggers that apply on the dash, and avoiding them in the ooc !  

for members old and new who may not know, we do have an ooc discord chat !!  this is a great place to get to know the rest of the group and plot with new people !  it’s definitely not required to join and you are still allowed to make a few ooc posts on the dash, but if you wold like to join, just message the main and we will give you a link !!

i think we all had a case of the mondays yesterday and missed meme monday !  so if anyone would like to participate in meme tuesday to make up for it, feel free to do so today !  ( memes are really allowed any day, so post them whenever you’d like ! )

ok i think that is everything i have for now.  i would like to close by saying i love you all so much.  i recently realized we have been up and running for almost four full months !! that is crazy, and i can remember opening day like it was yesterday !! this has been a truly amazing experience so far !! but the only way this roleplay can continue to grow and flourish is if everyone gives a warm welcome to new members that come our way and plot with everyone, not just members that have been with us for awhile !  i know you’re all usually good about this, but this is just a reminder as i know sometimes we can get easily stuck plotting with the same few people !  let’s make this a great place for newcomers, give the intro tag a quick look, message a few new people, reply to some starters, and have a great tuesday !! much love everyone !

[exblccdjunkie]

//Here’s a better picture of my little Merlin. Now I want a creature for all of my muses!

//I know it’s late but happy Munday from me and my new ferret Merlin. He has a little red scarf and everything. Photos courtesy of @highschccldropout

[exblccdjunkie]

Hey everyone, I promise I’m still alive. I want to start being active on this blog again, especially since spn comes back tonight. I think I’m going to go through and drop most of my threads and just try to start over. I’ll probably keep some, but if we have a thread you really want to keep, please message me about it and I’ll make sure to keep it. Also, if we have a thread you aren’t really feeling anymore, let me know that too and I’ll make that one of the ones I drop.

[throwaway-myshot-account-blog]

So I sort of made this account to post fanfiction too embarrassing to post on my main but anyway this one is really trashy.

It’s titled Can’t Sleep and wowza look at that

Hahaha I hate myself and I’d like a tall glass of death please

But well I haven’t really touched it all that much for a while. I started this on the way to and in New York and then when I went home later that day the pace just kept slowing down. Have some delicious OOC trash while I dig myself a grave

~~~

Peggy’s phone rang on the coffee table as she opened her bag of chaaaps. She reached for it and cradled it between her shoulder and her ear.

“Hello?” she answered.

“Peggy, I can’t sleep,” Alex groaned on the other side.

“I know, right Peggy? He’s not studying!” Hercules said, on a different side.

“Believe me, I tried,” Alex said. Peggy chuckled.

“Yeah? What is it?” she asked. The ‘must be pretty important’ was left implied.

“I…” Alex began, “Well, it’s like, uhm, I mean…” Indeed, whatever it was left the ordinarily very articulate A. Ham like this.

“Come on, Alex! We squad, ain’t nothing you can’t tell us!’ Herc said.

“... It’s John,” he murmured only loud enough to be heard. Peggy squealed.

“Ooh, gurl! You gotta give all the deets!” She said while swinging her legs wildly on her couch.

“Hold on, we gotta get Gil in on it!” Herc said. All three of their phones started ringing. Alex sighed.

“Salut?”

“Gil, it’s Alex!” Herc shouted. Lafayette cringed from the volume on his phone, which didn’t work until his headphones came unplugged.

“I can speak for myself,” Alex said stubbornly.

“Alex and Jackie, you mean!” Peggy added. Laf inserted his headphone wire again.

“Quoi! Que fabuleux!” It was the sound of sheer excitement. Alex felt his phone ringing again.

“Who did that?!”

“Hello?” A gruff but warm voice came over.

“Monsieur George!” Laf answered. Alex buried his face into his knees.

“Ah, son! You can just call me Pap like the others, you know.”

“It’s Alex!” Peggy said, “And Herc!”

“Sons, Peggy. Alex, you haven’t called me all week.”

“Ooh!”

“Est-ce true?”

“Alex’s in trouble!” Peggy exclaimed. Alex mumbled nonsense sheepishly.

“I had two tests yesterday, three today, and a four hour debate club meeting on Tuesday,” he said. Lafayette tsk tsk tsked.

“It was only two and a half hours until you showed up, Alex,” Herc said.

“At least come visit soon,” Washington said. “So what is it?”

“Alex’s got something going on with Jack,” Peggy said with a mouth full of chaaaps.

“Son?” Alex didn’t respond, only exhaling loudly. “I see.”

“What does Pa have to do with this anyway?” Alex said.

“I think that’s a story to tell now,” Lafayette said in a hum.

“Oh, yes Gil!” Peggy said.

~~~

Lafayette watched John and Alex from the window of Washington’s home. He sighed as he watched them talk. Maybe he would hear what they were saying if he was looking from downstairs.

“Son?” He turned around to see George. “What’s wrong?” Lafayette huffed, and went back to looking out the window. George sat with him on the window seat. After a moment, he spoke.

“They are the ones who are together. It’s like I’m only here.” George glanced at him.

“Do you truly feel that way?” He asked. Lafayette nodded. There was another pause.

“John’s father is making him study abroad in Europe,” he suddenly said. Lafayette snapped his head around. He stared wide eyed at George. “It’s true,” he said, “He’ll be gone for two years.” His expression was detached, but there was pain in his eyes- one of his sons would be leaving soon. “His father never really liked my son anyway.” It wasn’t an endearing term- the adoption papers said Alexander was indeed his son. “Believe me, Gilbert. Alex invited all of you here for a reason.” To say goodbye.

“But I still don’t know what makes Alex special to him,” Lafayette said.

“Son,” George said, “Do you know how Maria and Peggy love each other?” Lafayette perked up.

“Oui?”

“More than anyone in this world can love each other? How they love each other like they are each other’s world?” Lafayette thought to himself for a second. “I have reason to believe that while Alex treasures all his friends dearly, his relationship with John is of a different nature.” And for the first time in Lafayette’s seventeen years of life, he realized why John and Alex were so close. Thoughts of himself and Hercules like so would come much later.

When he looked back at them two, Alex was holding John’s hand. Lafayette went downstairs to be with Hercules.

~~~

“He always did know,” Lafayette added in the end.

“Mhmm.”

“Why didn’t you tell me!?” Alex said.

“Don’t you understand your own feelings for yourself?” Lafayette replied. Peggy and Hercules laughed.

“Oh Gilb, you know Alex can’t figure out these kinds of things on his own!” Peggy said. Alex grunted, but he couldn’t bring himself to be annoyed with his friends or his pops.

“You two are and have always been inseparable,” Washington said.

“Not just inseparable,” Lafayette said, “You two have a, how I say, undeniable love!” Alex buried his face into his hands, pointlessly hiding his blush from no one.

“Gil, I’m not sure…”

“Did I stutter?”

“Alex, you gotta tell us what happened now!” Peggy said.

“The fact is I don’t know where to start,” he said, “I guess that’s why I can’t sleep.”

“From the beginning, duh!” Hercules interjected.

~~~

Alex, at age fourteen, had even less of a filter than he did sitting in his college dorm on the phone with his friends.

“This is your new classmate,” Mr. Bartow said. He turned to Alex. “Would you like to introduce yourself,” he whispered now, “Or would you prefer if I did? I know not every new student is comfortable with it.”

“It’s fine,” Alex said, though with a strong accent. He faced the class.

“Right, and your name is?” Mr. Bartow said.

“Alexander Hamilton,” he said. A few people in class who weren’t quite paying attention looked now.

“What?”

“Alexander Hamilton! A-L-E-X, A-N-D, E-R.” At that moment, John, who was normally doodling anytime Mr. Bartow said anything, looked up- and he saw Alex’s eyes gleaming with a brighter kind of light than he’d ever seen.

“A-alright Alex, that’s quite enough. Sit down wherever there’s an open seat.” John suddenly found himself with a new neighbor in class 3.

“What are you drawing?” Alex said. John pushed his arms over his notebook. Alex pouted. “Come on. I won’t laugh, I promise!” He tentatively pulled his arms away.

“... Turtles.” Alex peered over them, and John peered over him. He couldn’t stop looking at that light in him.

“They’re cute!” John felt himself blushing and now used his arms to cover his face. “What? Isn’t that a good thing?”

“Yeah, I guess,” John said, and then quietly, “I love turtles.”

“Really?” Alex smiled.

“Yup,” he said, now less tense. “I know everything about them.” Alex was now flipping through his notebook, full of sketches and paragraphs about turtles and zero notes for Mr. Bartow’s class.

“This is so cute,” Alex repeated. “What’s your name?” he asked.

“I-I, uhm…” What was his name? “John.”

“Jahn?”

“John.”

“Jahn!” Alex said. He looked plenty happy with himself, and that was enough at the moment.

~~~

“Alright, maybe not that beginning beginning! We all already know this!” Peggy said impatiently.

“And I was there, too,” Hercules added.

“I never knew about this,” George said inquisitively.

“Tell me where to start then!” Alex said.

“What about the time you started calling him Jackie?” Hercules said.

“How did you start calling him that?” Lafayette asked.

“Right, you weren’t there.”

~~~

John sat in the recital hall, otherwise used for detention. And while he wasn’t the perfect student by any means, he wasn’t a troublemaker- and being here terrified him, more so than whatever fights he picked. After all, what would his father say? There were only three other people in the room- a teacher to supervise and two other people giving each other and John nasty looks. He shrinked into his seat.

The door slammed open.

“Sorry I’m late!” Alex stormed in, and now he was also getting nasty looks.

“Last name?” The teacher said.

“Hamilton.” They signed his name off the list.

“Sit down somewhere. No talking, eating, drinking, or messing around. You can do your homework,” they droned in a way that proved they didn’t really care whether Alex did or not. He sat right next to John.

Oh god no, John thought. Now he’s going to think I’m a troublemaker, John thought. I really wanted to be friends with him too, John thought. Alex leaned over.

“So what are you in detention for?” He asked. John was now slightly less tense.

“I-I got into a fight someone.”

“Huh. Really? That doesn’t sound like something you would do.” John looked away. “I did too!” Alex said with a grin. “Anyways, did you beat them?” This shouldn’t have been a surprise.

“I- Not really. I just punched them once,” John said sheepishly.

“So did I!” Alex said. “What were you mad at them for?” John sighed.

“Do you really want to know?” He said. Alex nodded. “You know that girl Sally?”

“I’ve seen her around,” Alex said.

“Well someone started saying things to her. I don't want to say them myself, but he was plain nasty. He was acting like he was better than her! That wasn’t right,” John said. He took a deep breath. “I was just so mad! And then… I guess it just happened.” He was staring at the ground. He didn’t know what else to say- words couldn’t convey how his blood boiled or how the adrenaline raged until it pounded in his ears.

“Jahn, you didn’t do anything wrong.” He looked up at Alex now.

“You think so?”

“Yeah!” John couldn’t help the smile on his face.

“So why did you punch someone?” he said. Alex shrugged.

“Alex,” he groaned, “That’s so stupid!” But he only said it because he knew Alex was, in fact, not stupid.

“I think the guy I punched was Thomas,” Alex remarked.

“Him!”

“What!”

“That’s the guy who said those nasty things to Sally!” John was seething.

“I think he learned his lesson,” Alex said. He took his hand. “Hey, it’s okay now, Jahn.”

“You can, like…” Alex watched him as he spoke. John realized Alex had all the world’s light in his eyes when he was talking to him. He turned away when he felt his face turning red. “You can call me something else if it’s easier. I don’t know. Like Jack?” Alex didn’t say anything after a few seconds and John was getting very, very nervous.

“Okay, Jackie!” John looked back at him, and Alex was absolutely giddy. He brushed his hair from his face like it was an old habit. “Jackie, I like you a lot.” Then he kissed him on the cheek.

~~~

“Then Thomas got replaced by you in the French transfer program,” Peggy finished for Alex.

“Je vois.”

“It was a damn good trade if there ever was one,” said Alex.

“Amen to that!” Hercules said.

“Of course you’d say that, Herc!” Peggy added in a lilt.

“What are you implying here, Peggy?” George asked.

Then came a chorus of “Nothing!” from the others. Alex rolled his eyes as fondly as one could do so.

“Anyways this is a Alex call. He’s practicing talking without extensive annotations and a written speech!” Peggy said. Everyone laughed at his expense, even his Pops. “Really though, keep telling!”

~~~

“Hey, Alex,” John said as he wrapped his arms around him from behind. “Wanna learn how to cuddle in South Carolinian?” Alex scoffed from where he sat, though no one could deny he was smiling.

“I told you we were here to study, not to mess around.” He put his hand on John’s arm anyway.

“That’s what you think, Alex,” he said playfully. Then the blithe tone left his voice. “This is the only time I can meet you without my dad knowing.” Alex turned around.

“Jackie, there’s no way he can keep us apart even if he wanted to.” Well he does want to, John thought to himself. He didn’t say it. “Jackie?”

“Yeah?” John’s eyes flickered to meet his.

“Is something wrong?” Everything. His father was talking about sending him to London to study law. There was so much wrong with it. John didn’t like law, to begin with. His mother argued on his behalf where he would’ve only yielded to his father’s wishes.

And then there was Alex. His father didn’t like Alex, to put it nicely. He wasn’t subtle about it either, despite what he might’ve thought. And he didn’t like that John was closer to him than he was to other girls his age. John knew if he was sent away, at least a miniscule fraction of a percent of the reason was to forget about Alex.

It wouldn’t work.

“No, nothing’s wrong,” John said with a shaky smile.

Alex’s eyes were one of his favorite things in the world. And he loved to be with him, as if it made everything fine where it wasn’t. He loved to be with him, even though it made his heart pound like it was bursting out of his chest. He loved to be with him even if it made him feel so, so helpless.

This wasn’t love, John told himself. Love was supposed to feel nice. Like excitement, like you were flying. No, this felt like somebody had mercilessly set his heart aflame and he was supposed to pretend it wasn’t burning.

“Good,” Alex said as he smiled back.

“Mes amies!” Lafayette waved as he walked into the library with Hercules.

“Hey Gil, Herc! Didn’t you have a project to do with Burr?” Hercules grinned.

“No, actually. He had a last second date with Theo,” he said. Alex raised an eyebrow.

“You mean Mr. Bartow’s daughter?” Everyone knew she had a boyfriend. Hercules scratched his chin.

“Yeah. He might not look it, but he’s a definite ladies man. I’m pretty sure every guy our age is into ladies anyway.” John looked askance.

“Yeah… Ladies.”

~~~

“You know, I thought he was going to tell me something important but I didn’t know what it was,” Alex said. “I think he-“ Every phone on call started ringing again.

“Guys, seriously? Again?”

“It��s just Washington’s phone jacking up,” Peggy said, “I bet he still uses the thingie with the number wheels!”

“A rotary dial?” Lafayette said.

“Same difference!”

“It’s a trimline…” George said.

“Can we get back to the man of the hour?” Hercules asked.

“Yeah,” Alex said, “Then Jackie really did go. About the time he left for abroad…”

~~~

“Alex…” John said. They were standing in front of Washington’s home, a foot in the garden and half hidden by hedges. “I wanted to ask you about something.” His voice wavered. Alex shushed him.

“I know. It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything about it.” They were rather close and Alex was playing absently with his hair, his mind running wild on the inside. A comfortable silence fell over them, and John thought about leaving it be.

“No, it’s not about me… Leaving,” he said. It wasn’t a lie but it wasn’t the truth either. “I don’t think I ever asked you before, but…” His voice broke at the end. Alex could feel him trembling.

“Jackie?! What’s wrong?” He took his hand then, not knowing what else to do. John curled his fingers between his.

“How did you handle your mom dying?” His breath was heavy as he spoke. Alex watched tears overflow from his eyes. His chest seized painfully trying to keep himself from crying. John had been staring at Alex intensely to keep himself grounded, but every moment that passed sent him sinking into darkness.

“Jackie.” Alex pulled him into his arms, and he fell into the familiar comfort with no objection. “You’re okay,” Alex said. John was a mess of sobbing and wailing. “You’re okay.” Alex held him while stroking his hair gently.

“I don’t think I’ve ever dealt with it. For me, I’m just glad I’m still alive if she can’t be,” he said, “Sometimes it feels like she died for me.” It was a little detail that Alex had never told anybody, but it felt appropriate. Jackie’s relationship with his parents had always been... Strange. He lifted his head from Alex’s shoulder.

“She’s gone,” John said as if he were realizing it for the first time. “She’s gone, Alex!” His face scrunched up and another suffocating wave of tears came.

“Jackie. You’ll be okay,” Alex said. “I know it’s hard.”

“No!” He gripped Alex’s shirt, which was already wet with tears. “She’s gone and she’s not coming back!” John cried. “She’s gone and that’s why I’m being sent away! She’s gone!” His throat was beginning to go sore from the yelling. It was an unspoken rule that Alex wouldn’t be able to talk to him as long as John’s father had anything to say about it.

“Jackie, I’m here with you now,” he said in a hushed tone. Alex brushed the stray hair from his face, it having become tangled sometime before. “Would that be enough?” John shook his head.

“No,” he whimpered weakly, “I’m going to lose you next.” He pulled Alex closer. They were losing precious time by the second but neither of them could stop the tears.

“I could…” Alex’s voice was thick with apprehension. “I could find a way to go with you.” It wasn’t the prospect of leaving what he’d always known- Alex had done it before. But the closer John was to his friends, the worse his father was.

“No! You can’t. I won’t let you,” John said with a steely resolve. “You could have a scholarship to Columbia. I won’t let you.” But his heart cried for Alex.

“Jackie…” Alex whispered, “I would do anything to be with you.” He wrapped his arms around his waist, but then John pushed him away.

“No. Don’t make me change my mind.” Alex was clearly hurt. John broke down a little then. He pressed his head against his chest. Alex buried his face into his soft, dark curls, sniffling. Neither of them had to see how much this hurt for the other. John felt light, wet tears landing on his head.

“Jackie, you’re the closest… Friend I’ve got,” he said.

“Alex… Do not throw away your shot.” John tilted his head back and looked into his eyes, for what he thought was the last time. Alex had his forehead pressed against his. John had a sudden strange thought; what would happen if their lips met? Even if the thought was wrong to him, it didn’t change the fact that John could feel the warmth from Alex’s breath. And Alex had a sudden strange thought as well; Jackie is beautiful. He wasn’t just gorgeous or attractive, he was a work of art. And God made him exquisite inside and out. He was everything, intelligent, sweet, brave. John swallowed, staring at Alex’s mouth.

“I… I think you should say goodbye to Gil and Herc,” Alex said.

“Yeah. Me too.” They stood there, a foot in the garden and half hidden by hedges, Alex’s arms around his waist one last time. Then John pushed him away again, for real.

~~~

About 241 years ago, the University of Columbia was known as King’s College.

~~~

“Let’s play I Spy. I Spy something starting with S,” Peggy said, giggling.

“What is Sexual Tension for 400?” Lafayette answered. Alex grumbled to himself.

“Wrong game, Gil,” he said. He sighed. “I thought I might’ve just needed to get my thoughts together, but I still can’t sleep. This isn’t even this first time.”

“Oooh, Alex’s got it bad!” Peggy teased.

“Have you tried talking to him about it?” George said.

“I ha- What would I even tell him?” Alex complained. “‘Hi Jackie, I stay up all night wondering when and how I fell in love with you!’”

“Oh that’s ridiculous! You two have always been in love. You’re âmes soeurs!” Alex buried his face in his hands.

“Gil, how old are you again? Eight?”

“Eight and a half!” Hercules cheered.

“Are you gonna skip the entire two years?” Peggy asked. “I mean… You were really different then.”

“Oui.” Lafayette said. “It’s like they tried to rip-“

“Is it that metaphor with the band-aid?” Peggy said.

“That also works, but I was going to say they tried to rip Cupid’s arrow out of his heart, but it only tore it open and left him still in love.” Alex was speechless.

“Damn, Gil,” Hercules said, “That is ice cold.”

“But it’s fine!” Peggy interrupted, “You guys got to see each other again at Columbia!” Alex smiled fondly.

“Yeah.”

~~~

This is the difference between learning law and regular college studies; there’s no syllabus week. There’s no break and no wait for new students to catch up with the hellish pace. But it’s fine. Non-stop is just Alex’s speed. Halfway into the second day, he’s already carrying two textbooks and pages full of notes when he hears it.

“Alex!” His heart skips a beat at the voice but his mind won’t admit it. “Alex!” He turns around but he’s already crashing onto the ground from John’s weight.

“J-Jackie?” He sees the dark brown curls and freckles like constellations and green eyes and he never even had to ask. John’s laughing from sheer joy, as if it’s by some miracle Alex remembers him, much less his nickname.

“Oh god, Alex,” he cries, “I am never leaving you again.” All of two years fades away in that moment. It never mattered that they were apart. When John looks into his eyes, the thing he realizes most is that he’s here now, and that’s enough. Alex puts his arm around him.

“I’m going to be late to class,” he says. John sighs against his neck.

“Me too.” Alex kisses his cheek.

“Friday. Library?” He feels him nodding his head against his chest. “Alright.”

John sits up from on top of Alex. He grabs his bag and hands Alex’s textbooks to him. He moves closer to him, just like he might say or do something, still sitting on Alex’s lap. There’s something hanging on his lips, a word, a phrase, a kiss…

Say something.

“It’s nice seeing you again, Alex.” He said that. Why did he say that? It’s the understatement of the century. But he’s going to burn himself to death if he says anything else. So he smiles politely and floats away from Alex like a long-gone dream slipping away, taking his bag and his sketchbook and that piece of Alex’s heart.

---

Now I’m going to go home and freshly vomit up what everyone really follows me for: Lams dicc succing

[lchnss]

ooc  /  this is long and i’m sorry for that, i’ll probably delete this soon anyway but i needed to a) explain and b) get it off my chest to a platform that isn’t involved in anyway tbh.

so i haven’t been around lately because frankly, work has been shit and it’s been kind of dragging me down throughout the past week or so. i’ve been making gifsets and such over on my resource blog, and sticking to mobile mostly. but not really doing threads or such, though i tried to kick out a couple drafts earlier today but here’s the deal:

i had a panic attack at work on tuesday, and i’m not an anxious person. i’ve had about three ( that i can remember ) panic attacks in my life and i can tell you what they’ve all been about. but this girl at my work turns every conversation into an altercation, and i don’t do well with confrontation. at all. whatsoever. to the point where a stranger could be causing a disturbance beside me and if there’s potential for someone to get pissed at them, i’m out.

and i asked her if we could start splitting the work because she had been creatively finding ways every day to slack off and give me more / the shittier end of things and she completely accused me of things and smirked the entire time while i sat there stuttering and clearly freaking out. i had to call my mom during my break to talk me down, i was nearly crying ( and i don’t cry in public. i avoid it at all costs because i don’t have tears when i cry, instead my face gets blotchy and puffy and i look terrible. i hate crying in front of people. not to mention, it takes a while for my complexion to restore afterwards too ), and it was a terrible experience. i was hiding in the back corner of a warehouse that was practically empty because it was break and still shaking because of the panic attack but also because i was afraid someone would hear me talking on the pphone and come over to see / talk to me. tuesday fucking sucked.

my boss said he would let me know if there was an opening on another shift that i could take and switch shifts away from this girl, because it’s not the first time i’ve had issues with her -- we really don’t get along, i’ve just never seriously reported it. i’ve bitched about it to my supervisor but that’s different. then my sup comes over and tells me she’s going to trained me on a different job but same shift so we don’t work directly together anymore.

and my sup came in this morning and handed me a tim hortons frozen lemonade and muffin and said ‘ consider this a bribe ‘. we had a long talk about it yesterday afternoon, after work was done but i still don’t think she understands just how uncomfortable i am around her. and since there is no openings on other shifts, i can’t do much about it. i can’t quit because i can’t seem to find another job and i have to have an income.

but this job is stressing me out lately and i seriously don’t like it. this woman is ( close ) to double my age, i have more seniority than her by a few years and i couldn’t tell you a single person in the workplace that actually likes her. and yet, she’s turning my mood inside out every single day.

[rvjenny-blog]

Tmi Tuesday!

Jenny Yeonseok Tomi Hyun