#Yes I know it’s been months since the concert but i still feel strongly about this

[banana-breadses]

[chimtaesty]

Moonlit Destiny Part One

pairing: princess!reader x king!jin / 2.8k words

warnings: angst, violence, anxiety, strong language, trauma

plot: marrying a king of a far away country seemed to be your biggest problem, but gradually falling in love with a man who is deeply hurt and isn't able to control his rage turns out to be more troublesome.

A/N: hi! I'm really sorry that the first part of this series wasn't uploaded at the planned date. I had to replan and arrange thigs because my exams were delayed and moved and everything was a mess. I hope you enjoy this opener and you'll stay tuned for more of this series.

comment down below if you want to be added to the taglist!

masterlist / story masterlist / PROLOGUE

“His first wife, Eunbi, was a traitor....”

“W-What do you mean?” The information he’s giving you doesn’t seem to get processed. His wife betrayed him, causing him pain. “She tried to poison him, almost killing his youngest brother in the process. She aimed for his crown, she wanted to be the sole ruler. The emperor had her hung publicly” Your brain doesn’t work.

Your mouth opens to question Yonghee further, but in that very moment Seokjin walks towards you two, aiming for you. “I’m sorry for breaking up the conversation between you two, but i would like to talk to my fiance” He states with a small smile, making you question what Yonghee said a minute ago. How on earth was the man that stands in front of you able to hang his wife. To execute the woman he loved, or maybe he didn’t. It may have been easier to kill her for treason because he didn’t actually love her. Would he be able to execute you when you made a mistake? Would he ever be able to kill you?

“Y/N, I wanted to elaborate the cause of my anger towards you. I realised that it was unfair to be angry at you for mentioning my first wife without actually knowing what happened.” You don’t say anything while he sways on the heels of his feet. You know what happened, yet you let him explain to see things through his perspective.

“My first wife, Eunbi, was a wonderful woman. We loved each other truly and I would've given her everything. I made her queen because she desired to be my wife. I allowed her to learn whatever she wanted, because I loved her. She made me the happiest man alive. But she betrayed me, she used me, tried to kill me for her biggest desire. She wanted to be in my position, be king. She tried to kill me, but she poisoned my youngest brother, Jungkook, instead. It was an accident since the poisoned cup of wine was meant for me. My brother survived, barely, he still has problems with speaking. When it was revealed that she had poisoned my brother's drink she showed her real face.

She admitted that what I had given her wasn’t enough. She wanted to be the sole ruler of my kingdom and she was ready to do whatever it took to accomplish that. Although I loved her, dearly, I had to execute her. I would’ve forgiven her, I would've let her go because I loved her. My brother, Yoongi, took care of her execution. I couldn’t be present. I couldn’t watch the woman I loved being hung like a criminal.” he finishes with tears in his eyes.

His eyes are red and his cheeks pink. You can’t even imagine what he felt, the pain that must torture him every single day. “How many brothers do you have?” you don’t realise what leaves your mouth until it’s too late. A small chuckle leaves his plump lips. “That’s what busies your mind? How many brothers I have?” you chuckle as well. “I’m curious, I now know what happened to Eunbi and I understand that it must be unimaginably painful to execute someone you love but since you don’t want to talk about it too much, I won’t bring it up again. Thank you for telling me” you nudge his arm slightly “Now tell me how many brothers you have”

xxxxx

He has six brothers, Namjoon, the army commander of the south. He takes care of the safety in the kingdoms south. He’s very tall and likes to read, in his free time he likes to take care of the animals which live at the royal court. Yoongi, who takes care of the local prisons. He is excellent at getting people to talk, through torture, to your displeasure. He’s smaller than his brothers and likes to listen to concerts on his free evenings.

Hoseok is the army commander of the north. He shares his work with his brother, Namjoon, and takes care of the safety in the kingdom's north. He is a ray of sunshine. Seokjin said he was surprised when Hoseok asked to be a commander since he imagined him to become an artist like Taehyung, but he assured his brother of his professionalism. He likes to help Jimin with the local orphanages in his free time, remarkable.

Jimin is the third youngest of the bunch. He is a famous warrior, known as the white shadow. He fought in several great wars and always came back as the winner. Even though he’s a scary and very skilled warrior, he has a very sensible personality. He likes to help out at the local orphanages, showing the children how to defend themselves. A secret ,Seokjin pleaded with me to never ever talk about, is that Jimin likes to be read to. He often asks his older Brother, Namjoon, to read to him.

Taehyung is the second youngest, making him the second family's baby. He’s the only one who strayed from the genre of professions among the brothers. He decided to become an artist, painting the most beautiful paintings and writing the loveliest poems, having quite the clan of female admirers. He does know how to fight, though. Growing up with six brothers who like to train for future purposes made him learn how to fight as well. He might not be as skilled as Jimin or Jungkook, but he would survive in war.

Jungkook is the youngest of them all. He’s a warrior like Jimin, known as black shadow. He is the best fighter out of the seven, no one has ever succeeded in having him land on his back. He seems really scary, almost terrifying, said Seokjin. But he’s a nice boy, kind and cautious. He told Seokjin that he would like an older sister in law because Eunbi was younger than him, calling him Oppa, which he strongly disliked.

When he was poisoned, he lost almost all possibility to speak, he has trouble eating and dislikes having to talk to people. He’s embarrassed people would feel disgusted by his raspy and rough sounding voice.

His family sounds fun, complicated but fun.

xxxxx

The maids helped you put the traditional clothes on called “Hanbok”. “Ow!” you shout, startling the maids in the process. “We are deeply sorry, your majesty. We have to tighten this part a slight bit.” Moving in this big thing seems impossible as there’s so much fabric. “You’re almost done, your majesty.” you can’t believe that Seokjin wants you to wear such a hideous amount of clothing.

“You’re done, your majesty! The only thing you will have to put on is the head piece” the smaller girl in front of you instructs. She holds a big golden something in her hands. You’ve never seen something as astonishing and beautiful as this golden thing.

She places the headpiece on your head, securing it in your hair. It’s heavy, feels like they’ve placed a child on top of your head, yet you like it. “You look beautiful, your majesty” you smile at her “Thank you very-“Is she done yet?” An impatient voice wanders through the walls. “Yes, your majesty. Your fiancé is done being dressed” a maid informs him.

“Good, come outside, my dear. Let me have a look at you” he pushes. You’re not sure how you’re supposed to get up. There’s jewelry as heavy as a newborn on your head and ridiculous big clothing on your body. “I’ll try my best.” he chuckles.

The maid helps you up, you’re sure she’s trying to not laugh herself. If the women in his country wear this stuff without a problem?

“Wow, Y/N. You look stunning. Come here, my love” he opens his arms wide. You let go of the maid, focused on making your way over to him. The headpiece weighs down on your already exhausted neck. “Thank you, the headpiece is quite heavy though” your nose crunches up at your small complaint.

He stifles a laugh “That’s alright, you won’t have to wear it all the time. Such big jewelry should only be worn at special occasions” you nod your head, or at least you try to. “Y/N, could you do me a favor?” you hum “Of course” “Please take care of Jungkook, he needs someone to talk to. His brothers don’t seem fit for that job” you nod. “I’ll try”

xxxxx

So here you are, in front of his parents and his six brothers, well not all six. Two are missing. All of them are way taller than you imagined them to be. His mother is the smallest, smaller than you. And his father is a tad bit smaller than the boys behind him, yet he looks like a king. The posture and the way he introduces himself to you makes it obvious that he was king a while ago.

“My name is Y/N, it’s nice to meet you, your majesty” you bow lowly, as low as Yonghee had shown you. “Oh dear, you don’t have to bow to us. I’m not king anymore” you shake your head in disagreement. “I have to, you are Seokjin's family.” You try in their language.

Yonghee taught you the best he could during your months-long trip back to Seokjin’s land. “That’s very kind of you, Y/N. This is my wife Juhyun, and my name is Hyunsuk. I’m pleased to take you in as my daughter-in-law” you bow once again, making sure to bow to his mother once again. You catch her look, the hatred in her eyes.

His brothers introduce themselves as well before Seokjin snatches you away, taking you to his bedchambers. “She hates me” you sigh. “What are you talking about?” You sit yourself on the bed, trying to wiggle the big head piece out of your hair. “Your mother, she despises me and I can’t get this thing out of my hair” you cry out in frustration.

“Don’t think about her too much. She’s just cautious, after what happened with Eunbi. Let me help you” he tries to calm you. “But you didn’t see her eyes. She would’ve stabbed me right then and there if she had the chance to” you sigh.

His big hand finds its way onto your cheek. “Y/N, stop. She won’t ever hurt you. As long as you’ll stay loyal to me, you won’t be in danger.” His words calm you, to some extent.The fact that he’s willing to protect you even though he’s not in love with you is nice, it feels very nice.

xxxxx

“Why do I have to meet her?” You sigh as a maid helps you into a lighter piece of clothing. “Because she wants to get to know her daughter-in-law. Just drink some tea, answer her questions and you’re good to go.” Your nose crunches up in displeasure. Meeting his mother for tea or rather for interrogation is the cherry on top. She might just kill you and call it an accident.

“You won’t have to stay too long, I want you to meet my youngest brothers. Jimin and Jungkook are coming home from war and Taehyung will present his newest paintings tonight. I want you to be on good terms with them.” You nod and squeeze his hand.

He rubs your palm “You’ll be fine”

Two very friendly guards escort you to the small pavilion on the other side of the palace.

“There you are, take a seat” his mother, Juhyun smiles at you. It’s a fake smile, you’re sure. “I prepared some green tea, it helps your metabolism. You should slim down a little, right” you blink in irritation.

It’s not even been two minutes and this woman is testing your patience. “You won’t want Seokjin to fall back on his concubines, right?” She smiles, once again making you puke deep inside. “Ah, yes.” You huff.

Why is she so keen on making you upset, god. “How old are you, child?” She asks after she pours you some tea. “I’m twenty one” she nods her head, her eyebrows twitching slightly “You’re quite young, dear. You’ll have to give birth to a lot of sons.” You nod your head. “I’ll try my best to reward Seokjin with sons”

She gives you a small smile “Of course you will” she mumbles, clear for your ears to hear. “So, how much do you know about our disappointment of a former queen?” your head shoots up. “Seokjin told me about her, tragic.” her eyebrows furrow and she places the cup of tea down. “He told you himself?” you nod, trying not to chuckle because of her obvious irritation. “He did, he wanted me to know what happened to her.” she hums, making you more uncomfortable than before.

“I’m really sorry about what happened. Having to lose someone a part of the family is horrible.” you place your cup down as well. “Oh don’t act like you care, Eunbi has always been and would have always been the wrong pick for my son. I’m quite glad she got herself killed. I would have hung her myself if my youngest son wouldn’t have survived.” she chuckles and you divert your gaze from the woman in front of you. The water lilies swim peacefully in the crystal clear water, wanting you to be a part of them. Having all the time in the world to relax and be left alone. You would like this woman to leave you alone.

“Child, did you hear me?” your eyes wander to her again. Of course you didn’t hear her. “Excuse me, I didn’t, I’m sorry” you sigh. This tea party is taking way too long, where are you, Seokjin? In your mind you plead for Seokjin to show up and snatch you away. “Great, you aren’t a good listener either. You know, when you want to be the queen of this land, you have to be good at listening to peopl-”Mother, excuse me”

Your eyes widen at the voice you waited so patiently to fill this pavilion. “I’m sorry that i have to break your conversation apart, but i would like to take my fiance with me” he smiles at his mother and you’re quick to get up. A quick bow and you almost drag Seokjin with you.

“Slow down, my love. You look as if you’re trying to escape something” he chuckles. He’s playing with you. Of course he knows that you wanted to escape from his mother as soon as possible. “Oh you don’t know, she’s horrible.” he frowns slightly as he takes your hand in his.

“I know, she didn’t treat Eunbi nice either. I’m sorry that she criticised you. Meeting her has to happen out of decency.” you nod and lower your head. “What did she say?” he asks.

His face looks concerned, your cheeks heat up. “Well, nothing serious” you mumble. He stops walking, pulling you towards him. You look up at him as his features grow angry “As my wife you have to be honest with me, weather i like what you have to tell me or not”

A small sigh leaves your lips as you flutter your eyelashes. “She told me to lose weight or you’ll leave me for one of your concubines.” “What else?” You can’t meet his eyes, you’re too embarrassed. “She doubted my ability to give birth to sons. She acted dismissive as i assured her that i’ll try my best to give birth to your sons.” now it is his turn to sigh.

His big hand finds its way to the back of your neck. “Listen to me, you aren’t too heavy in any way. You’re the right size, you match me perfectly. And you don’t have to worry about not being able to give birth to sons. I’m very much able to put perfect children in there” his hand rests on your stomach. “Don’t doubt me, Y/N” he breathes.

You feel hot, so damn hot you might melt. “I would never” you mumble. His lips are so close. Your eyes move from his lips to his eyes as he moves closer. And in a matter of seconds your lips meet his, igniting a firework in the pits of your stomach. They are so soft as your lips move against his, something you never felt.

“Emper-excuse me” a guard stumbles back around the corner as he sees what is happening. Seokjin pulls away, making you close your eyes and replaying the moment he kissed you. “What, I can't have a moment of peace in this palace.” he grasps your waist as the guard comes back around. “Prince Jimin and Prince Jungkook have arrived-”Good, tell them to come to the crown hall.” he bows his head once more. “That’s the issue, Emperor. Prince Jungkook is greatly injured. Prince Jimin brought him to the nobel healer.” Seokjin tenses up and you are quick to grasp his hand.

“He fights in my war and comes home half dead, this boy.” Seokjin squeezes your hand and sighs once more as he pulls you along.

“Let’s meet my brothers”

taglist: @teamtardis-notdead @little7bitchh

[black-swan-slaps]

My Musings About How BTS Made My 2020 So Much Better

I’m never one to do year end reflections like this, but I think I’ll make an exception for 2020, considering, you know, 2020. Plus, the New Years Eve content made me giddy.

I’ve known about BTS since either 2015 or 2016 (I first saw their videos in a Youtubers React video). I remember being impressed back then when I saw that their music videos had around 100 million + views (look at them now, lol). Since then, I would casually watch some of their performances or interviews, but never really listened to their work. The closest I got was when I became interested in RM’s solo work in 2018 (I really like his song Joke, and I stand by that). I think part of my interest in him was because he spoke English during American interviews, so it was easier for me to find a connection. Besides that, trying to enter the BTS world felt, well, overwhelming. There’s just so much content to get through. 

Fast forward quarantine 2020. It’s the end of April and I have been working from home since the beginning of March. Their carpool karaoke video with James Cordon shows up in my Youtube Recommended. The rest is history.

But seriously, that video is just so much fun, and it was really smart of the editors to include subtitles. Very few American shows will bother subtitling the members (at least early on), but they often say really interesting or funny things! I wound up watching that video every day for like two weeks. I then started watching them on other talk shows, which turned into watching interviews, to then their music videos, performances (hello Jungkook in the James Cordon Boy With Luv performance), funny compilations, and then other content, like Festa. One of the first videos I watched was their 2019 Festa. I had limited context for the members, and didn’t think I would actually watch an hour long video, but I did, and I enjoyed it. 

My May became a whirlwind of watching their content and listening to their music. Part of me was hesitant to spend so much time losing myself in their content, but as I reasoned, I had the time, and I was enjoying myself. I remember honestly laughing so hard as I watched Run, and by this point in quarantine, I had very little to laugh about. BTS gave me a route to escapism, and I happily took it. 

None of my friends are really into Kpop, but I felt so ecstatic as I fell deeper into this obsession. They would listen to me a little as I talked about them, but I did overall refrain from talking their ears off. (Now, whenever I do get to see them, I just give a simple update: “Still really into BTS, btw.”)

Point being, I devoured their content. Run, Bon Voyage, docuseries, concert footage, hell, I even watched American Hustle Life. As I learned more about them, I fell in awe of their success and individual stories. I’m honestly just so happy for them every day. I’m seriously amazed when I think about how much they have accomplished. About how hard they have worked, how many records they have broken, how insanely talented they are. They are truly global superstars, and they are changing the music industry, culture, and are leaving a huge mark in history. It’s just amazing. And what is also amazing, is that being happy for them makes me happy. 

Being happy for other people and their successes is pretty standard for me, but it’s definitely a sentiment that has heightened this year. This is a year where we need to spread happiness, as hard as that can be sometimes. But, getting this invested in a band is a new thing for me. 

I really appreciate their friendship and bond. I know it’s not realistic for them to be lovey-dovey BFFs all the time, but it is clear that they have an incredibly special, and rare bond. It’s something that I really admire. (The Vmin friendship was one of the first things I noticed, and led to me getting interested in the members personally). Being American, platonic intimacy isn’t really something I see a lot, at least on the mainstream level (and especially between men), and getting to see these men work together, laugh together, and express their love for each other is just so refreshing. I truly hope that they are happy with each other. It is so clear, that based on the crazy journey they have been through together, they have a bond that no one else will understand. They’ve said it themselves that, in certain moments, they can just look at one another and instantly know what they’re thinking. That is so valuable and special.  

Their work energized me. I started working on a major project in May, and I felt inspired by them. They gave me the energy to push through. Seeing them be silly while also working hard also helped me to accept myself and be true to my weird nature. I used to be pretty shy and reserved, and never posted online, but I started to adopt Jin’s philosophy of just doing what you feel like. Honestly, I felt the most alive in the first few months of quarantine purely because of them and all the energy I invested in learning about them and received from them. (And it was a welcomed distraction from the real world.)

It’s maybe a bit strange getting practically new content every day, but I have found that between official content and social media, there is always something to look forward to. It’s a part of my daily routine to check tumblr and look for updates. It’s something that has been so helpful as my mental health started to decline around August (I’m sure that with quarantine we’re all in the same boat). These past few months have been hard for me as I’ve struggled with the effects of quarantine and a developing complicated relationship between me, food, and my body, but at least I have had BTS to look forward to.

And I guess that is the point of this. I could honestly go on and on about each member and how I feel a special resonance with Jimin based on his gender expression, or how proud I feel of Jungkook every time I hear him sing and express himself, or how Suga’s First Love stops me in my tracks every time I hear it, but I’ve gone on long enough. What I’ve realized recently is that BTS gives me something to look forward to.

This year has been bleak. We all know this. But what is strange is that even though I have had my fair share of struggles, I also had a lot of self-improvement. Those first few months of quarantine, the energy I received from BTS inspired me to work hard on my major project. I took up learning Korean (I really like learning languages and have been working on Italian for years. I highly recommend TalkToMeInKorean). I started working out every day and actually have stamina to do physical activity (something I was severely lacking). I made strides in my professional life and am working strongly and proactively toward my career goals. Of course, even though I have been technically successful, I still can’t but help feel aimless and lost due to the loss of connection with my friends and peers due to quarantine. As Christmas day was ending, I realized that I had been using the anticipation of the holiday to get me through December. Once it was over, I felt sad. What more did I have to look forward to? The world is still generally terrible. In America, we’re still reeling from our terrible political and covid situation.

But today I realized, oh, there’s still BTS. Maybe it’s silly to say, but it’s true. Yes, I have personal and career goals I’m working toward, but we have to admit there is something so unique and fun about following BTS. That week in October where they released performances and interviews every day on Jimmy Fallon, plus bangtang bombs, was one of the happiest weeks I had. Like I said, their happiness brings me happiness. I look forward to following their careers for as long as they’re active, as well as their solo projects and careers. Honestly, isn’t it exciting thinking about all the great things they will do in the future?

[closer-stars]

Gut Feeling (6)

Member: San Genre: bit of angst, kinda better tho?? Word Count: 6.6k Content: A bit better than the last chapter. Food mention as per usual. Maturity.  Note: HELLO AFTER A MONTH. I AM BACK. This one is a lot shorter than the other chapters, idk it just felt right. Second half of this series of sorts amen. It’s not a lot but... i guess you can consider it as those type of stuffs that needed to happen ??? Yes. I tried my best amidst everything that happened recently ;; As usual I’ll update this with links after 24 hours. Tag list: @barsformars @shinyddeonghwa @yeotlny @hwaberrykiwi @miniyeo @seoultraveller @frankenstein852

Part 5

It’s back to work but you’re a little dazed. The two rest days did you good to a certain degree but having to go back into the swing of things was a bit of a challenge for you. Even if the managers would give you updates, it’s different when seeing it in real time. So here you are, back in the office, catching up on everything. 

You head out to the kitchen to get your bottle refilled with water only to be greeted by San himself. Out of surprise, your heart does a little flip. You don’t know why you’re surprised though, usually at this time he and the boys should still be in the studio. Also, you’re the one who’s bringing them home tonight. 

San looks up from his phone, just as surprised as you are to see you. “Hey, how are you feeling now?” He asks, his voice soft and careful. 

He’s not ignoring you?

You make your way to the water dispenser, refilling your bottle. “A lot better, thank you.” You say, which comes off more as a murmur. Though it was true, you weren’t really sure of how to approach him since that talk with Seonghwa and Hongjoong. It’s constantly fight or flight and knowing you, it’s usually a little bit of both. 

“Can we talk?” He starts carefully. At his voice, you look up from your bottle. Your eyes study the male carefully. You can’t keep running anymore you suppose. 

“Five minutes. Go.”

He didn’t expect you to cooperate like that but he’ll take it even with the time limit. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for thinking that you and Seonghwa liked each other--”

You and Seonghwa, again. You had questions but you let him continue. 

He sees how your eyes narrow at him and he feels fear course through his body.  “for making things more difficult for everyone, especially you. You don’t deserve that, I still have feelings for you yeah but I understand if you don’t…” he trails off, trying to catch his breath after saying everything. “I just-- you deserve an apology after everything I caused.” 

Something inside you snaps though. You’ve harbored enough frustration from how everything was going and to hear him come clean about his assumptions just made you see white. “That’s the thing with you idols, you suddenly get so used to getting everything so quickly, you think everything is reachable with a snap of your fingers. San, wake up, please. That’s not how life works, that’s not how relationships work. Not everything’s going to be fast and easy...” You refrain yourself from cursing him out, instead, you let out a sigh. “San, relationships, romantic or not, those take time.”  Internally, you had to admit those words were harsh but you had to say it. You were tired. Tired from the growing workload of finding the common ground with clients, you barely had time to process everything since the near dating scandal. You ended up actually putting your account on private a few days after the chaos on social media. 

It’s past five minutes already and you let him go to his scheduled practice with the boys. “Go. The boys are waiting for you.” You state, catching sight of a concerned Yunho standing by the door. 

He’s never seen your eyes so cold yet so hot at the same time. It doesn’t take much to know that there’s pain in those eyes and it hurts to know that he’s the reason behind the pain. Knowing better than to push, he nods and bids you goodbye. You watch him jog over to Yunho who seems to be eyeing San then you with concern. It would be stupid of you to underestimate his smarts, so you shake your head, before turning away from them. You don’t want them to see you cry. You try your best to keep yourself together, you’ve cried enough over this matter, it’s pathetic. 

When San enters the studio, Yunho gives the two oldest members a look, enough for everyone to know that he had talked to you, regardless of how it could end. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Seonghwa asks carefully, bringing him aside away from everyone’s ears first. While it’s a blessing that the group feels emotions so strongly, especially for the sake of performing, there were times where intense emotions become scary to deal with. When the younger shakes his head, they know better than to press him when things are still so fresh. 

Hongjoong glances at the two of them and nods. “Let’s try to clean half of the choreography tonight.” That would probably be enough to have San’s focus on something else. 

--------

You’re back in your office, thinking about what had happened. You know you would need to sit San down and get a clearer picture of everything eventually. Your phone buzzes, reminding you that the boys have to eat soon. 

[ You to Hongjoong ] Do you guys have money for dinner? 

You hover over the send button, deciding as to whether or not to send the message or just buy them food. It’s already 8PM and for sure those boys were hungry. You don’t really know what their routine is when it comes to choreography work especially with how stacked their schedule is, it could be anything. “Fuck it.” You delete the message and make your way to the nearest restaurant. You make sure to wear a mask before leaving the premises, already paranoid from past events. 

If there’s one thing you’re grateful about, it’s how the boys are already regulars for the nearby restaurants. All you have to do is say their names and show your proof of relation with the boys and the company to get things moving. You stay outside the premises, not wanting to take up a table that could be for someone who plans to dine in. 

[ You to Hongjoong ] Bought you guys food, will be there in half an hour max. Buy yourselves a drink or whatever in the 7/11 just give me the receipt afterwards. 

[ Hongjoong to You ] ryan_salute_sticker

You chuckle at the reply and wait patiently outside, watching people come and go as the week comes to an end once more. The staff comes out with bags of food ready for you. “We put a little something for you as well, it’s on us.” She says, gesturing to the food container that has your name on it. The look on your face makes her chuckle lightly. “Don’t worry about it. Tell the boys that we’re looking forward to them visiting us again after their promotions.” With that, you flash her a bright smile, promising to relay their thoughts to them. 

By the time you return, you could hear the boys messing around in the studio. Not that you minded, they do deserve to have some fun every one in a while. As you set the food down on the table, two figures suddenly make their way to the kitchen. An excited scream that could only come from Wooyoung startles you. “Meat!! Oh my god is that what I think it is?” He exclaims zooming towards you with his energy drink in hand. Hongjoong follows him a few seconds after, still drinking what seems to be orange juice. 

You let Wooyoung do his thing, already so excited over food. “Can you get the others?” You ask Hongjoong, as you make sure that Wooyoung doesn’t create a mess. It’s not that you think Wooyoung’s incapable of being responsible, it’s that you know that when he gets excited, hell can break loose. 

You eat at the second table, at least you had the company of the other members that you don’t get to talk to often. It was a nice change of pace, though still as hyper as their peers they know how to slow down. Though the conversation was on something you didn’t quite understand (see: dramas), you didn’t mind hearing the boys talk about it with such excitement. Mingi and Jongho were kind enough to give you context especially when you looked a little lost. 

“Manager-nim! We’re done for the day.” Hongjoong says once you peek out from Jongho’s side. 

“Oh? Okay that’s good, just take your time eating. I’m bringing you guys home anyways.” Those words make the boys bustle with energy. From the looks of things, it’s been a while since it was you who brought them home. 

It’s the same thing on the way home. The boys calming down in the car as the food coma hits them: San’s knocked out in his seat, slouched against Wooyoung’s side who’s busy on his phone. Hongjoong was the same, except he was leaning against Seonghwa who was also asleep. Mingi and Yunho were busy on their phones as well, looking for new music to listen to. Jongho is seated next to you, still awake. “Jongho?” He responds with a polite hum, still drinking his water. “Just what was your schedule today? Everyone’s so tired.” You were used to them sleeping on the way home but something about today just feels so different. 

Jongho laughs softly, his shoulders rising a little in the process. “Ah, it’s mostly preparations for upcoming stages. We have concert appearances in the next few weeks so we just really drilled the cleaning earlier. I think Hongjoong-hyung had a radio appearance yesterday too so he could only catch up on sleep here and there.” He explains. “The others also did vocal training and dance training in their spare time.”

You glance at the boys through the rearview mirror. No wonder they were more exhausted than usual. “How about you? How are you faring with all of these?” It’s a question that must be asked especially to someone who tries their best to be just as dependable as their hyungs. 

“Me?” He repeats the question before pursing his lips for a moment. “I’ll admit that it gets tiring.” He looks over his shoulder. It’s no surprise the rest of the boys have fallen asleep. “But I’m happy doing what I’m doing. As for the recent thing happening between you and San…” This boy really doesn’t beat around the bush. “He’s matured,” he reassures you. “He’s learned from his mistakes.” Truthfully, you weren’t sure of how to respond to such a statement but you let him continue. “Let him make up for his shortcomings. You can depend on us too.” You weren’t sure if he’s the third or fourth person to tell you that, regardless you find comfort in his words. 

He sees your body relax slightly as you drive. He doesn’t want you to think he’s trying to get you to date his hyung, rather to see him as someone who feels sorry for what he’s done and genuinely wants to make up for it. “Thank you for your words, Jongho.” You admit softly, easing the car into its parking spot. “Help me wake up the boys?” You ask once you’ve switched off the engine. 

“Cover your ears.” 

“Jongho, it’s past midnight. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

--------

You had a mix of now wide awake boys and still groggy boys in the elevator with you. Of course, Jongho looked a little too proud of his doing. Hongjoong didn’t have the heart to get mad, he was clearly improving in his singing and control. You let a still sleepy Wooyoung lean against you as the elevator goes up. Holding up a sleepy twenty something year old was a little tricky but at least he wasn’t drunk. You had made sure their floor was the first destination, they’re tired. They need the rest more than you do. 

Once the elevator notifies everyone of the floor. You gently shake Wooyoung awake. “Hey, we’re here.” You say softly. It’s thanks to Yeosang and Jongho who manage to wake him up, a few insistent pokes apparently do the trick. “Sleep well guys.” You wave them goodbye. Those who were awake bid you a good night. Your eyes flit over to San, his shoulders seem a bit lighter now. 

You wonder what made him look a lot lighter now. Maybe Jongho was right. 

--------

You’re in your sleepwear now, nursing a hot cup of tea as you think about the events that went down today. Your phone in your free hand as you read through your conversation with San. It’s hard to admit but you did have your own shortcomings. A thoughtful sip and a deep breath. You owe him something too. 

San’s in his room, already in bed, as he was just waiting for Yunho to return from the shower. 

Ka-talk!

His phone vibrates with a new message. It’s from you but it’s an audio clip. He reaches over for his earphones. It takes a while for him to play the clip, a little fearful of what it carries. “Hey San.” Your voice sends a shock over his body. He didn’t expect you to actually send him something. “Listen, i’m doing this because i can’t look at you outside work, as far as i know, for now at least. I can see why people like you San, i really do…” Your voice trails off and San has to glance at his screen to make sure if it wasn’t cut off. “I will admit, if things happened differently, I probably would have caught feelings for you too.” A small part of him twists at those words but it was something that didn’t surprise him. “For now, still, I need time and distance unless it’s needed for work for us to talk. Everything you told me…” Another pause. “I need time to process that San.” He understands that and he stares at the screen count down what’s left of the audio clip. “I do forgive you but I need time to heal.” He smiles softly at the last few words. He didn’t want your romantic feelings at this point, being forgiven was the best thing for the time being. 

“What’s up?” Yunho asks. Out of surprise from the sudden voice, San accidentally drops his phone on his face. Yunho pokes his head from his bed to see San clutching his nose in pain. “Are you okay?” The older asks in alarm.

“When did you finish your shower?! I didn’t hear you.” San complains once the pain ebbs away. He lifts himself up, eyeing the other through narrowed eyes. 

Yunho shrugs, running his fingers through his still slightly damp hair. “Two minutes ago? You were busy on your phone so you probably didn’t hear me.” He explains. That made sense, his volume was around 70% so he wouldn’t be able to hear Yunho enter the room unless he started playing League. 

“Sorry about that..” San says rubbing the back of his neck. He recounts the voice note with just the important details: you forgave him but you need time to heal. Something in Yunho relaxes at the news. Your reaction makes sense, but also seeing San look like something has been lifted off of him were good things. Even if it seems like something’s still bothering him, he still looks better as compared to the past few months. 

Yunho shakes his head, dismissing the younger’s apology. “I’m just glad things are kinda patching up with you and them.” He yawns through his thoughts. “Let’s talk about this when we wake up. I’m too tired.” 

San looks at his phone again. It’s 2AM. They need sleep, at least their day starts at a later time. 

--------

While San and Yunho discussed your voice note, you were in your room, biting your lip in thought after that voice note you sent. You like what you were doing but you didn’t think the price to pay for a hectic job would be like this. Did other managers go through this type of issue as well? Fingers fly through the keyboard as you look for a certain draft in your emails. You read through it again a few more times, asking yourself over and over if this is a good idea. 

The answer comes when you change a few things here and there in the letter. If it still lingers in your head after this week, then you’ll push through with the change. Making decisions at near two in the morning wasn’t always the best idea. For now, you need to rest to prepare for the next day. 

---------

You wait for the boys outside their dorm, knowing that by now, they’re nearly done getting ready for another day in the studio. If you remember right, their choreographers have managed to create a choreography for one of their songs that they have yet to perform. The boys come out of their dorm in their training clothes and you give them a quick scan, to make sure it’s all eight of them. 

“Manager-nim!! Did you sleep well?” Leave it to Wooyoung to still continue to cling to you. It’s nice to know some of the members are morning people still despite the hectic schedules they have. 

You think back to last night and your decisions but you don’t let them in on it. “Yeah, sleeping after a long day in work seems to feel a little different.” You say brightly. This causes Wooyoung to sulk at your words. 

“Are we a handful, Manager-nim?” He asks in a tone that makes certain members glare at him, also he’s now clinging to you. None of the members have the heart to make him stop, but they do pose themselves to hit him. 

With your free hand, you pat his head. “No, you’re not~” You return in a light enough tone that just fans the flames of Wooyoung’s antics. In response, you snort much to his disappointment. “Come on. After tomorrow, you got a concert to perform in so it’s all rehearsals and meetings for your upcoming photoshoots.” 

--------

While you’re in your workspace, fixing the schedule with their personal schedules in mind, Yoon comes to you with a grin. “Hey, good news.” He greets you with an iced bottle of coffee from the 7/11 downstairs. 

You glance at the coffee then at the male who’s still beaming. “What’s up? Did you get a raise?” You ask as you twist the cap open. Iced macchiato. 

“Manager Hwang’s coming back earlier than expected!” He says, grinning ear to ear. 

Your gaze turns to him, surprised but also partly relieved to have the guy back soon. “Really? I thought he’d be back much later.” You say, clearly taken aback. “Also hey!” You quickly add. “If you wanted me out, just say so.”

Your joke makes the guy panic, realizing his words could be misunderstood. “No way! You’re amazing to work with. Hwang has to experience working with you.” He explains quickly. “I’m excited because this also means, you’ll see how great he is in FIFA.” 

FIFA? The football video game?

You were about to laugh at his panicked expression until he mentions a video game. “Wait, I was joking about you wanting me out also, FIFA? What about it?” You didn’t really play video games growing up. You watched your cousins play but never really had an interest in playing. 

“You haven’t seen how competitive the boys get with video games huh?” 

“I’ve heard stories but never seen it happen in real time.” 

He grins. Truly, like idol, like manager. “You will soon.” 

You press send on the email after making sure it’ll be directed to all the parties involved in the decision. You suppose Hwang’s return is a sign that you’ve been looking for. The request would only be effective by his return as you did keep your side of the agreement. 

The only thing you can do now as you wait for their response is to work. Your phone rings with a reminder, time to bring them to meet the stylists for an upcoming photoshoot. Though, you do remember that the stylists themselves are the ones who are visiting rather than the boys. 

[ You to Hongjoong ] Make sure to look presentable, the stylists are coming within an hour. 

You look around the office and the kitchen for the refreshments for the stylists. Once successful, you put them by the counter in the kitchen. The fitting and meeting were mostly going to happen in the studio; enough room to move for eight boys and probably three stylists. You didn’t really get a number of how many were coming today. 

Fortunately for them, their schedule had enough breathing room for them to make themselves look well kept after a long time in the studio. Once everything was prepared for later, you decide to check in on them. The music playing wasn’t their songs now, rather songs from the artists they look up to. You peek through the sliver of clear glass from the door to see what they were doing. 

San and Yunho were messing around in the room, eliciting laughs from the rest of the members. The two were running around and were actually on beat with the music. The scene in front of you makes you laugh to yourself: they were doing okay. As you straightened yourself again, to return to your office, the door opens enough for the muffled bass to be amplified. You look over and it’s Mingi. “Manager-nim! Did you need something?” He asks, even with the hint of exhaustion in his eyes, he still had so much energy in him to flash such a bright smile at you. 

His question surprises you but you suppose he saw you peeking earlier. “No, no. I just wanted to check on you guys since the stylists will be here in roughly an hour.” You explain, gesturing that you were on your way back to your office. 

Someone calls out your name in between laughter. It’s Wooyoung. “Manager-nim!” He calls out, running over towards the both of you. “We need a tie breaker.” Huh? He doesn’t explain much but tries to get you to join. You glance at Mingi and it takes him awhile to understand why, to which he starts to crack up. 

“What’s going on?” Your voice carries apprehension. Now, you know these boys can barely hurt a fly, but these boys are capable of doing the weirdest things for the sake of entertainment. These are eight boys who will have a competition on who can stuff the most ramen noodles into their mouth in one go. The other two managers have become unfazed to their antics while you have yet to see just how far they can go. You’re not quite sure if you could handle them at their highest peak of beagle-like energy. 

“Manager-nim,” Wooyoung starts, now holding up a pen as if it were a microphone. “Are you a mint-choco fan or a mint-choco anti?” He asks, now posing the pen near your lips. 

You stare at him in disbelief, then at the seven boys who seem to await your answer. “W-wait.” You push the pen a little farther from you and gesture to the others. “What are their answers?” It was obvious for you that San and Mingi were into mint chocolate, while Seonghwa and Hongjoong being the two who weren’t into it. 

Wooyoung answers it for you with ease, though with a hint of impatience. “San, Mingi, Jongho and I are into it. Seonghwa-hyung, Hongjoong-hyung and Yeosang aren’t. Yunho’s neutral on it.” To you the answer was already obvious that a majority leaned towards liking the flavor. 

“Guys, I’m just…” You trail off trying to find the right words. The silence makes Hongjoong jump into it. 

“Manager-nim doesn’t like it either! Bleh~” He exclaims, looking all proud. Rare was the sight of Hongjoong being mischievous in front of you. 

“N-no, it’s just, I don’t really mind it. If it’s there, I’ll eat it. If it’s not there, it’s not the end of the world.” You explain, much to his dismay. 

“How can you eat something that tastes like toothpaste..” Seonghwa mutters much to San’s dismay. His comment makes you look at him in mild alarm. 

“Seonghwa, toothpaste doesn’t have chocolate bits in them..” Just what went on in their dorms? Your words make him whine and you start to laugh at how they were so passionate about something as simple as ice cream flavors. You wondered what their stances are on pistachio and matcha ice cream then. Your phone vibrates, a call coming through. While the boys were busy trying to win the debate, to which Yunho slightly struggles to control, you answer the call outside the studio. 

“Hello?”

“Hello! We’re the stylists for their upcoming photoshoot. We’ll be in the company in ten minutes!” The voice on the other line chirps politely. 

The voice makes you stand a little straighter, almost on instinct, you use your formal voice. “Alright, I’ll wait for you by the entrance of the building.” With that the call ends, you return to the studio and it’s calmer now, though you could see that Wooyoung and San were sulking over what could’ve been the other half of the debate. “Guys, get ready. The stylists are on their way.” With that said, the boys fix themselves again. 

Hongjoong looks over at you. “Manager-nim, should I go with you?” 

Now, in your eyes it’s not a bad thing if the leader decides to greet the stylists with you by the entrance. It’s not a bad thing either if he doesn’t. “Your choice, Hongjoong. If you are, meet me by the elevator. I’m just grabbing my laptop.” Without missing a beat, you slip out of the studio immediately. You can only imagine how much notes you need to update for the other teams after this meeting. 

Once you head towards the elevator, you’re already greeted by the leader busying himself with his phone as he waits for the elevator to arrive at your floor. “Seonghwa and Yunho are watching over the boys?” 

“Yep, they’ll take care of them as we wait.” His response makes you nod, relieved to know someone’s keeping them in line before their energy bounces back up once more. It’s not that you think they can’t take care of themselves, but more of, when one’s up, everyone’s up. 

The elevator doors close in on the two of you as it brings you to the ground floor. You want to tell Hongjoong what had happened in the past few hours but now isn’t the right time. Just as you were about to open your mouth about a quick summary, the doors open. Though knowing Hongjoong, he already knows something about it even without you telling him. 

It only takes five minutes of waiting for the two of you to be greeted by three stylists. Though they dress simply, they knew what piece fits them best. A small pang of jealousy blooms in your chest when you see how well kept they were; you knew your own body and fashion and how to look put together as well but those who were in the fashion industry just seemed to do it better. Small talk happens among the five of you as the of you lead them to where the rest of the boys were. Maybe it was a good thing that Hongjoong came with you due to the some of the clothes they brought in a few bags.

There was something about the third stylist, that put you off. It wasn’t her overly warm and optimistic energy, which honestly at this point doesn’t faze you anymore as other idols who have greeted the boys had the same energy she had. You weren’t so sure yet of what it is, but you’re not sure either if you want to find out what’s putting you off about them. She continues to make conversation with Hongjoong as you’re left juggling a conversation with the other two. You don’t notice Hongjoong’s uneasiness around her until the two of you welcome them inside. 

 The two of you do notice how her eyes light up at the sight of everyone else who were lounging about. You just assume that she was a big fan of them and was struggling to keep it together and carry on. The boys do their signature greeting then move about to get their measurements and a run down of what will happen in two weeks time. 

You along with another stylist keep track of the clothes that the boys and they liked, those that were debatable and those that just didn’t look that great on them. The other two took their measurements, and offered the clothing pieces that they would try on. The first stylist from earlier seems to be taking her sweet time with San. If you actually focused on listening to their exchange, you could tell she was having the time of her life. It took a lot of your self control to not outwardly sigh in front of the stylist who was labelling which clothes the boys liked as their basis. 

It takes a while before the said stylist moves to another member, and at that opening, San immediately moves away. You glance at San over your laptop, and he’s sending you a look that says, ‘I’m not talking to them unless I have to, please help.’. While San is a grown man, you do know how it feels to be cornered at work due to unwanted advances. You flash him a smile and beckon him over. “I hope you don’t mind if San helps us out on this too?” You ask the stylist as he practically hops over to the two of you. Much to San’s relief, he welcomes the added input. 

San’s eventually joined by Mingi who knows more of fashion than you and San combined. You could see the gears in their heads running as the idea in the stylist’s head was starting to become more and more clear. Once all of the work has finished, the boys take one last look at the outfits the head stylist has set out, you know that they wouldn’t change anything anymore but you kept your fingers poised on your keyboard should there be any changes made. Seeing that everyone was satisfied, they ask you to take their photo to celebrate a job well done. 

You receive the head stylist’s phone and you let them gather around for the photo. It’s not hard to spot the first stylist from earlier try to worm her way near San, only to be blocked by Wooyoung and Seonghwa already around him. It takes a bit of your self control to not snort at her feeble attempts be quashed so easily by clingy boys. Three shots and everyone’s now back to cleaning up the room. 

The eight of them help pack and fold everything into their rightful place that the head stylist had to send her praises about them to you, even going as far as offering their services for the future promotions. She slips her contact card to you, which you keep in your phone’s case for the time being. This time, it’s only you who accompanies them out, much to Hongjoong’s surprise. You signal that you’ll be okay and for him to keep an eye on San. 

---------

“I swear hyung, she was trying to hit on me…” San mutters in his spot as he shudders at the mere thought of it; the praises were alright but the slightly lingering touches and gaze made him want to leave immediately. Some of the boys find a little amusement in his complaints, they understand the issue on hand but to see San whining excessively was a sight to see. Of course they couldn’t do much about the situation while it was happening but they could prevent it in the future. 

The door clicks open and they see you poking your head in. “How was it?” You ask them. It has become a routine for all of you to check in on them after meeting with any outsider of the company. They’re still young and while they have good heads on their shoulders, the industry is a scary place to be in. 

“Manager-nim, is it alright if we don’t work with one of the stylists on the day of the photoshoot?” Hongjoong starts carefully. Always a leader that guy is. 

You glance at him then at San who was still sulking against Yunho’s shoulder. “The lady with the high ponytail and rolled up denim jacket?” You ask, even acting out how her clothes looked like. At your description, San jumps into the conversation. 

“Please? Is it possible? Manager-nim, Ms. Mihyun was trying to know me a little too much and flirting with me.” San pleads. You feel bad for him. In other circumstances, being hit on would’ve been an ego boost but being hit on at work really doesn’t sit well with you. 

It’s the way you look at him that he realizes just how you’re able to keep things professional. You still look at him with protective warmth and concern for his safety, even after everything. It gets his head a little dizzy to put it lightly. “I think I can make it work. The head stylist did like your work ethics, even wants to work with you guys in the long run.” You bring out your phone, making quick work of writing a message up to the head stylist. “Hello! This is ATEEZ’s manager.” You read your message out loud for them. If there were any comments from the boys, you tweak the message around to their liking to make sure the point of the message is received. 

The boys were impressed with your message and didn’t mind it one bit. They could see why the company wanted you: you could fit in any of the teams. Once satisfied with their response, you press send. A small part of you waits on a reply from company heads in regards to your email but even that would take some time. With a group that’s a rising icon in the k-pop wave plus a few trainees that show just as much potential as the boys, the love calls from other companies are still coming in. 

For now, you’ll enjoy and make the most out of the time you have with the guys through your work. 

--------

Over the next few weeks, San has been more mindful of his actions around you. While he still cares for your health like the first few months, he’s come to understand you a little better now. He does his best to see you more as who you really are, rather than the idealized version he had of you months back. He’s realized you had a bit of a soft heart behind your independent exterior, how you always preferred a stronger type of coffee, compared to the group (much to Seonghwa’s horror). It took a bit of time to notice how protective you are of your own friends and them. 

You pick up on the changes as well. He joins in on the teasing every now and then, but always making sure never to cross the line. Sometimes at the corner of your eye, you catch San watching you joke around with his members, his gaze soft but he never makes a move. He doesn’t seem to sulk over the lack of attention either, letting you joke around with the other members as well. They’re small changes but it has improved his performance as himself and as a member of ATEEZ. 

There were changes and there were still constants. He still stays late into the studio practicing new moves, new styles, different combinations just to better himself. As usual, you bring him back to the dorms. He doesn’t make a fuss about you waking him up now, rather he hops out of the car as soon as you switch off the engine. You were a little grateful for that, more time for you to sink into your bed after the long day. As you step out of the car, rummaging through your bag, you find him waiting for you by the elevator. “Sorry to keep you waiting.” You say as you rush over to press the up button. 

“Nothing to be sorry about. It’s late after all.” San reassures lightly. He watches you rummage through your bag. “You got your phone?” He asks. He’s noticed as well how you sometimes have slip ups with your memory. You bring out your phone, putting it in your pocket. “Wallet?” He asks then he sees you bring it out. “Powerbank.” He lists off and that’s when it takes you a while to bring it out. 

“That’s what I forgot.. It’s in the office.” You mutter. There was no way you’d drive back to the company to pick it up. You’ll just bring your charger for tomorrow. 

A soft amused huff slips from his lips and he gestures for you to enter the lift first. “It’s okay, I can bring my powerbank tomorrow.” He offers as he follows you inside. 

“You don’t have to. I can use my laptop as a powerbank if all else fails.” You return. 

Always an independent one you are. He doesn’t push but he still keeps it in mind to bring it just in case. “You know,” he starts, as he presses the number for your floor first. He then leans against the wall opposite of yours. “After that thing with Ms. Mihyun, I kind of understand why you were probably against the idea of us dating.” Well he knew of your main reasons, but Mihyun really had him thinking. 

You lean against the wall, arms crossed. His words had piqued your interest. Whenever San’s in those moods, he does drop a few things that remind you he’s maturing. “Oh? And what is it?”

“The idea of flirting and being in a relationship with someone while at work is kind of.. Weird.” he wasn’t sure if weird was the right word but to be the subject of flirtations while everyone is trying to work didn’t feel right to him. He knows he can separate his personal life with work but emotions have made him act out of line. To risk all that he’s worked for: for the sake of a relationship, maybe not now. Hearing you chuckle makes him frown in confusion. “What?”

You were endeared by his moments of childlike tendencies. You know he has a way with words but there were also moments where his vocabulary reminds you of a high school kid. “Mihyun really tried to flirt with you huh?” You ask. The conversation is cut short when the elevator pings; you’ve arrived at your floor. You return your gaze back to the male. “Anyways, get some sleep okay?” 

A small part of him wanted to walk you back to your apartment, but he knows this complex was a safe one. You also apparently knew how to hold yourself up against Wooyoung’s pestering actions. He knows better to offer that so he smiles at you and nods his promise. “You too.” He addresses you by your name this time though still with the formal honorifics.  

“Drop the formalities when we’re outside of work, San.” You say. He doesn’t get the chance to say anything else but a good night, as the doors close in on the two of you. You’re back alone now in the lighted hallway, a heavy sigh slipping through your lips. Another long day coming to an end. 

Your phone pings with a few alerts that you’ve kept at bay throughout the day. One of the notifications is from the email you’ve been waiting for. Your request has been approved, effective in a few months.

Part 7

[kimberly-spirits13]

Right Hand Man (Loyal to the End) Pt. 3

Pairing: Damian Wayne x reader

Synopsis: You were like Talia’s daughter. The only thing was that you weren’t and instead, you had grown up in the foster care system and at a young age were taken by and personally trained by Talia. Along the way, you meet Damian and the two of you start to work side by side and eventually, after some time become closer and closer. However, when disaster in the league strikes, you face balancing an old, forgotten life as a normal child and the burden of right hand to the demon heir.

Note: I know that this is long and that there are a good number of time skips, but I didn’t want to make this into a series and just wanted it as a long fic because .... well because I can lol

Also, I didn’t want to have Damian so young in this so just go with it. I’m thinking maybe early 15 or almost 16 at the most. Idk I just don’t like writing for young Dami.

Warnings: mentions of murder, blood, brief mentions of torture but not for long

Word Count: 1836

Pt.1

       You boarded the jet that was to take you to Italy. Looking back at Damian, the two of you exchanged quick nods and you headed into the cockpit. After a few minutes, the flight had taken off and you were on your way to Italy. As always you had promised to return with a song. It was something that he could have that wasn’t assigned or approved of by his mother. You understood that well. Sitting back, you sighed just a bit and got your mind into the game.

Damian’s POV:

        It wasn’t a rare thing for you to leave on missions. You did every month or so. It was just that things seemed to be even more of a task around the compound. Training’s vigor was more noticeable. Classes were more boring. The food and company were terrible. The list went on and on when you left. It did improve greatly when you came back most of the time however. The rare nights that you got back and were injured were some of the scariest. You took the worst blows for your team. It was what made you the best leader he’d ever met.

        On the nights that Damian saw you being taken to the infirmary practically bleeding out stayed in his nightmares from day one. Talia would try and make him leave since she knew that he typically reacted strongly to it no matter how hard he tried to hide it. He’d worry all night about you until you were back on the training field. The one night he lost it was when you almost died. It was so bad they had to use the pit. He could hear you screaming and knew that you would have rather died. It was a way that the league would torture you. If you messed up, they’d put you in front of a film showing all of your mistakes. After that, you would be nearly dead once they tried to bleed you out and thrown into the pit by yourself. The next day when no one was looking, he pulled you into a massive hug. It’s never been discussed since.

        Now he was alone training. His sparring partner was in Italy on a mission without him. It was too quiet in the room now. Damian’s thoughts ran wild as he imagined what might happen while you were in Italy. He knew that there was something that you knew about this turmoil in the league that you were hiding. He suspected that it was on his mother’s demands. Besides, if it was a serious danger, you would say something. At least, he thought you would.

        Looking up at the clock that was hanging high on the wall, he was taken from his thoughts be the time. Damian picked up his bag and left for his class that he would be late for if he didn’t rush. Talia would never approve of that. Throughout the rest of the day, he was distracted by the thought of your absence. Though, he’d never admit it. Sitting on the rooftop alone was strange. He almost expected you to join him at any moment preferring the comfortable silence and ease that came with you during these times. He found no point in staying much longer since he couldn’t relax and eventually headed to bed early.

Your POV:

        It was night time in Italy. You had scouted the convention and knew all of the points that the targets could get in and out. Going over the plan one last time with your team, you had the map of the building on the desk between everyone.

        “Beta, you take target two, make sure that no one of importance leaves alive.” You had explained, “Regroup at the jet once you’ve finished your task. If you’re not back by the end of the hour, find your own transportation to the compound.” “Is everyone clear on the objective?”

        The group nodded, “Yes General.”

“Good, we will not be having the issues that were with last mission’s assigned team.”

        You folded the map and put it into a compartment in your belt before leaving with the rest of the team and splitting up into groups. This mission was going to be easy in all regards. You had entered the dressing room of your target. The rest of the squad was taking care of the security on the outside. Breaking communication was the most important aspect of the starting phase. This way no one would know if anything was going on. You watched the security team of the foreign diplomat. They were in formation even here. Their weapons were advanced but nothing you wouldn’t be able to handle. The song of an American movie played in the background on their phone. You knew it was something from a Disney musical.

      “Tightrope!” You thought remembering that you’d never gotten the chance to relay the song to Damian, “Hopefully the timing of the song isn’t ill placed with everything going on behind the curtains.” “Focus Y/N, you’re on a mission, not at a concert.”

      Without a moment’s notice, you hit the signal button on your communicator and then threw in a poison dart into all of the guards. There was a sudden clamor as men started dropping. You smirked some seeing the substance work before coming behind the diplomat and ending him with an injection of a stronger substance sure to end him before giving one more dose of a different chemical to insure the death of all.

      You saw that your team was finished and packed back up with the team before heading out.

“Report.” You demanded once getting to the jet on the coms.

“Mission was successful, heading to meet up now.” The squads confirmed.

“Well done to all sides.”

Careful to remember the song, you played it on repeat in your mind as you boarded the jet and took off. Ultimately, you were glad to be sleeping in your own bed tonight if you had the chance to sleep after reports were made to Talia and that the team was competent. You wanted to groan thinking about not sleeping tonight. You were bone tired but knew that the show must go on. Otherwise you’d be severely punished. No sleep was better than the pit.

Upon arrival, Talia met you at the landing pad as usual.

“Report.” She said with a better demeanor seeing you not covered head to toe in blood and rain.

“The mission was a success. All parties were taken out without alerting anyone with the approved weapon of choice.” “No intervention from myself was needed.” You said giving a very, very brief rundown before you’d have to relay the entire mission to her later.

“Good. Report to your rooms. General, I expect you in the briefing room in forty minutes.”

“Yes Talia.”

You saw that Damian was coming from down the hallway. He was later than usual but none the less, you were glad to see him. Even if you’d never admit it.

Damian’s POV:

        Damian ran down the hallway upon seeing the jet land. He knew to slow down when the hall would become populated and he’d be exposed so he did. However, the moment that no one was around, he was running again. Damian heard his mother and slowed to a walking pace, taking back his proper stance and commanding look.

        “Yes Talia.” He heard you say before you walked past her and towards him.

        He was glad to see you ... not drenched in blood. From your blood or someone else’s for that matter. You almost glistened in the moon light as you did on the roof tops. Though, he’d never seen you in mission gear like this for some reason. You looked like the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

        “Damian.” You nodded walking to him.

        “Y/N. I am pleased to see you not covered in blood and rain.” He commented smirking just a bit.

        “Very funny demon. The feeling is mutual.” You replied.

        He turned and watched you walk down the hall before going to the roof tops after talking with Talia. Damian knew that you wouldn’t be joining him tonight, however he was ready whenever you did.

_______________________________________________________________________

        That day almost never came. With what you had taken on with the new rank, you were always busy well into the night. Damian hated it. You almost hated it too. You loved the nights on the rooftop. Slowly, you tried to get back on better sleep but tonight you just wanted the stars and the mountains. That was it.

        Over the past few weeks, you had hardly had any time to talk. Even during training for some part was spent with recruits instead of him. You both hated it. For the first time it felt like you were away from a mission but still there. Damian thought that you were too busy for him most of the time so he just didn’t make the attempt to talk to you. You thought that he was going for space for a while so you didn’t push anything. Eventually, you were sick of it though and decided to head to the roof.

        You climbed to the top noticing that Damian was already there. Carefully, you sat next to him, legs hanging off the side of the structure.

        “I assumed you would not come tonight.” He commented.

        “I do not blame you. I’ve been ... extremely busy as of late with this new roll.” You sighed laying down on the roof.

        He didn’t say anything for a little while and just enjoyed being able to relax in a place other than maybe his chamber. You enjoyed the silence for a while before he did finally say something.

        “Did you come back with a song?” Damian asked glancing at you some.

        “As always.” “And do you still want to hear it?”

        “Of course.” He rolled his eyes some at your answer.        

        You started with the song ditching the higher notes as to not be too loud. He knew you could hit them and he knew that you dodged them. He’d heard you before as Talia wanted you to be able to sing for some unknown reason. When you weren’t training as a child or in schooling, you were doing that with a professor. The two of you sat there for a while just admiring the view.

        “I should be going off to bed now.” You said, “I have a lingering feeling tomorrow will be long.”

        “I understand.” Damian stood with you and headed for his bedroom.

        “I expect to see you at afternoon training tomorrow? I don’t have as many responsibilities tomorrow.”

        Damian almost smiled, “Of course.”

        You headed to your room and plopped into the bed. It was going to be a long day tomorrow. No matter how much you couldn’t wait to see Damian more, something told you not to get your hopes up. Before being totally consumed by your thoughts, you drifted to sleep.

Tag List:

@idkmanicantenglish

[min-youngis]

Leave The Bourbon On The Shelf

gif not mine (i can't look away, though)

leave the bourbon on the shelf / and i'll drink it by myself / and i love you endlessly / darling don't you see / i'm not satisfied - Leave The Bourbon On The Shelf, The Killers

~ Pairing : Park Jimin x Reader

~ Genre : Fluff, Humour

~ Rating : PG-13 (¿)

~ Summary/Excerpt : You may not have the real thing for the next few months, but as you take in the way his neck moves with every sip, the crinkle of his eyes as he laughs at something you say, the angle at which the dim, yellow hotel room night light falls on his face and the languid, relaxed stoop of his shoulders as they occasionally shake with giggles, you think you’ll do just fine with this temporary, pixelated substitute.

Established Relationship

~ Word Count : 2,243

~ Warnings : swearing, alcohol, one mention of s*x

~ A/N : 'a writer's greatest resource is wikihow' - me, 2020. jimin has a very pretty neck and eyes and hair and hands and face and laugh and smile and personality.

i'd love to hear feedback! spread the love!

masterlist in my description.

~~~

You unlock the front door and step into the musty house, slipping off your sandals in the foyer. Consulting the list on your phone, you make your way to the living room, at the corner of which there’s a large, deeply thrumming fish tank.

Feed Nemo and Dory.

Snorting softly, you look at the two Koi fish, swimming around in the water, that look nothing like their namesakes. With an amused shake of your head, you dutifully pick up the aquarium fish feed bottle that’s stood next to the lit up tank and undo the lid, shaking it over the water so the flakes fall in, bidding the fish to rush towards the food.

Satisfied, you move on to item number two on the list.

Clean sides of tank with algae pad. Remember to turn off the filter.

You look up, wondering where on earth the algae pad could be and if this is a good enough reason to call him. Giving a cursory glance around the room, just so you can feel like you’ve searched at least a little bit, your stomach gives a sad little flop as you notice it sitting right there on the shelf next to the tank.

Shaking off the irrational disappointment, you turn off the filter, strongly reminded of an afternoon the previous week, when he had wagged a finger in your face, pinning you to the couch with his stern gaze, explaining his fish tank cleaning instructions for the third time before he finally sent the house sitting list to you. You don’t remember much of the lecture, but you do remember the way his freshly dyed pink hair had lain on his forehead and the way his bracelets had jingled a little bit every time he wildly demonstrated his technique.

You’ve always had a short attention span, so it really is his fault for drawing out the explanation for as long as he did and spending ten minutes talking about how you should open the front door, despite the fact that you’ve done it countless times before.

Slipping on the rubber gloves that are next to the pad, you gently scrub the sides of the tank, trying to emulate the method that you’d seen him use. You ignore the weird, squelchy feeling as water slips into your glove, and once you see an actual difference in the glass, you pull your hand out, making sure to switch the filter on again.

Item number three.

Tell them they look pretty today.

You look doubtfully at the fish swimming around, done with their food and looking stupidly blank. Small? Yes. Fast when they want to be? Probably. But pretty? Decidedly not.

Feeling incredibly foolish, you bend down to fish eye level and mutter, “You both look very...orange today.”

Determining that this is good enough for Jimin and his excessively demanding Koi, you proceed to the next point.

Make sure they’re happy before moving on to next point.

Oh, for fuck's sake. Feeling increasingly frustrated, you bend back down, making eye contact with one dumbly floating fish. You don’t know what to expect, how to determine a fish's happiness.

“Here, fishy fishy fishy,” you mumble in a faux, high pitched voice, sounding shockingly like Jimin when he whines for something. Vaguely, you think of the energy meter on top of the puffles in Club Penguin, and wonder whether the Kois’ would increase, if they had one.

The fish you’re looking at gives no acknowledgement, simply turning away and swimming in the opposite direction in the spacious tank. Figuring that you’ll have better luck with the other one (Nemo? Dory? How on earth does he tell the difference?), you look at it, only for your heart to veritably stop beating for a second as you take in its stationary, close eyed form.

With your pulse in your ears, you gingerly let your finger dip into the tank, moving to tap the body. “Oh, don’t be dead, don’t be dead. I promise, you look very pretty today, please don’t be dead, Jimin will kill me – Oh, hello.”

The moment your index finger touches its scales, its eyes shoot open and it darts away from you after casting what you’re sure is a glare in your direction. Feeling half rueful that you woke it up from a nap and half relieved that it’s at least moving, you wipe your finger on your jeans, deciding that Jimin will have to settle for Koi that are alive, if not particularly pleased.

You simply ignore the next point on the word document he had sent you (‘Are you absolutely sure they’re happy?’), and move on to Water the plants. Use the green can. Do not use the blue can. I will know if you do.

Not taking very kindly to his tone, you obstinately stalk over to the utility counter and purposefully pick up the blue can, pointedly ignoring the green one that’s sitting next to it.

“Fuck you,” you mutter, taking a quick video as you fill it with water from the kitchen tap before moving to the balcony and sending the file to Jimin before pouring the right amount of water into each of the five pots. This step also had long, winding instructions. You clearly remember him from a week ago, drawing you out into the balcony one night under the guise of ‘A date under the stars, Y/N, it'll be romantic!’ only to royally screw you over and start explaining how much water his mini lotuses and peace lilies required. It had almost made you revoke your offer to house sit when he was away.

Once you’ve finished, you move on to the next item, absentmindedly placing the empty can back up on the shelf and drying your hands on a kitchen towel.

Reassure them that they’re loved and that daddy will be back soon.

Unable to stop yourself, you laugh out loud into the empty house at the wording, knowing that Jimin must have had a field day while typing that. You make your way to the balcony double doors that you’ve already locked shut. Too lazy to unlock them, you press your nose to the glass and look straight at the plants as the afternoon sunlight falls on them, feeling like you’re about to give a sermon to a comatose audience of five.

“You’re all, uh, very loved and daddy will be back soon,” you say, giggling through your words.

Calming yourself, you move to the next point.

Read the whole list again, but this time replace ‘they’ with ‘you'

Confused, you scroll back up, letting your eyes roam over the words. The first two points don’t make a lot of sense but at the third, a small grin replaces your quizzical frown.

You look pretty today.

Make sure you’re happy before moving on to next point.

Are you absolutely sure you’re happy?

Your dopey smile gives way to a chortle at You’re loved and daddy will be back soon, and as if on cue, your phone begins to vibrate with a video call from Jimin.

You eagerly accept, still chuckling, and say to his grainy, tired but happy face without preamble, “In what universe are you my daddy?”

His grin grows and he lets out a little giggle. His eyes are twinkling with mirth as he replies, “So you went, then?”

“I’m here right now,” you say, moving your phone farther away so he can see that you’re standing in his living room in front of the television.

“Did you finish the list?” he asks, running a hand through his hair, and you greedily take in the way the strands fall back down gracefully. You can make out a headboard and hotel room wallpaper behind him, a weirdly mundane backdrop to his shining, post concert face, still alight with excitement and adrenaline.

“Almost. I’ve just finished the super romantic eighth point.”

“Are Nemo and Dory happy?” he asks, smugly grinning at your comment.

With a roll of your eyes, you reply, “Yes, yes, Nemo and Dory are very happy.”

“And my lotuses?”

“You haven’t named them?”

“I don’t want them to feel restricted in their growth.”

Scoffing, you answer again, “Your plants are also very happy. Very, uh, green and such.”

Satisfied, he leans back on the headboard, taking his phone along with him so you’re given a lovely view of the insides of his nostrils as he adjusts himself into a comfortable position.

“How was the show?” you ask once he’s stopped shuffling around and you’re looking at his much more pleasing visage.

“It was awesome! The new army bomb changes colours now, it looked beautiful in the dark.”

You hum in reply, feeling a warm glow as you watch him continue talking about the concert. Tour means distance but more importantly, tour means performing every night, meeting new fans, and travel and different food. And it’s always fun reuniting when he’s back. In the non biblical sense.

It doesn’t mean you don’t miss him, because it’s only been a week but you feel like it’s been months since you last held his positively tiny hand, but you’ve successfully talked yourself into being mature and rational about this.

“You should read the last few points on the list,” he says abruptly at the end of his rant.

Switching apps, you threateningly warn, “Jimin, I swear if it involves telling your dumb fish-"

“Don’t call Nemo and Dory dumb!”

“-that they look pretty one more time, I’m hanging up on you.”

“Just read it, will you?”

Open liquor cabinet

“Why, you’ve got a pet spider in there that needs some tender loving care?”

Snorting, he impatiently flaps an arm at you to get you going, and you get up from your comfortable position on the couch, muttering about being made to move.

Mostly empty, the shelf has an expensive looking bottle of whiskey sitting in the front with a post it stuck on top of the label that reads ‘FOR TOUR'.

“Did you forget to carry the bottle with you or something? Can you even get alcohol past customs, how does that work?”

At the end of your sentence, you look back at your phone screen only to see Jimin with a wide grin on his face, one hand proudly holding up his own, similar glass bottle by the neck.

“It’s for you! So we can drink together!”

Slightly disbelieving, with a raised eyebrow, you ask, “So your solution for a temporarily long distance relationship is...alcoholism?” There’s no real bite in your words, though. You can see the wisdom in the plan. Wisdom that has strong root in the fact that you would never be able to afford a bottle that fancy.

“Look, I might be here and you might be there-"

“No, really?”

“-but we can still drink together!” he continues, ignoring your snarky interruption.

“Why can’t we eat together? Or watch a movie together?”

Raising his eyebrow and giving you a long, dramatic sigh, he slowly brings his own bottle down. “Okay, if you don’t want to, I guess I could just drink this very pricey, very imported bottle all by myself.”

“How can something be very imported?”

“Listen, do you want to drink or not?” he impatiently bursts, sternly looking at you through the screen. The effect is a little muted, due to the fact that his video gets stuck at that exact instant, eyebrows scrunched and lips stuck in a petulant pout, but it serves its purpose as you rush to bring the bottle down from the shelf while rapidly saying, “Okay, okay, yes, I want to drink with you.”

With a momentary painful screech of static, Jimin’s face resumes movement, morphing into content self-satisfaction.

Setting the phone down, you twist open the crystal cap of the bottle, proceeding to pour it into a glass.

“Are you sure you don’t want to sleep? You seem pretty tired.”

He waves away your concern as he gets his own glass from the hotel room kitchenette. “We've got a free morning tomorrow, I can sleep in. You’ve got a ride back?”

“Oh, am I not taking this bottle home and drinking it there?” you tease.

“I want to spend some quality time with my plants, I miss them.”

Giggling, as you settle into your previous position on the couch, now cross legged with a glass full of whiskey in your hand, you reply, “I can call Hyejin, no problem.”

“Lovely,” he says with a grin as pleased as punch spreading across his face as he similarly sits down on an arm chair at the corner of his room. Behind him, you can make out the beige blinds that are so typical to the fancy hotels in which the company books them rooms. “Now, tell me, Y/N. How are your side hoes doing?”

“Peachy,” you reply, taking a sip of your drink as you indulgently watch Jimin do the same through his phone that’s perched on the coffee table in front of him.

You may not have the real thing for the next few months, but as you take in the way his neck moves with every sip, the crinkle of his eyes as he laughs at something you say, the angle at which the dim, yellow hotel room night light falls on his face and the languid, relaxed stoop of his shoulders as they occasionally shake with giggles, you think you’ll do just fine with this temporary, pixelated substitute.

~

[natromanxoff]

Drama, drama, drama... Alright, now we have one about Roger Taylor. And I strongly felt the need of making a post about this because I talked to the blogger here who shared the photo, ergo had a chance to closely follow what has been going on.

What is this I am talking about? 

This photo, that has also been posted here. Jacques Dutard, who is the owner of the photo wrote this caption: “Hey, just wanna share what happened to me just yesterday at lunch... In Sardinia, at the restaurant I have Roger arriving and sitting on the table next to us... Simply amazing, exciting, awesome. Thanks Roger.” So it is about this photo that Roger had with fans on 10th of August, at a restaurant, without a mask, in Italy. As you can probably guess, the ‘without a mask’ and ‘Italy’ parts have bothered some people, then came the horrid comments.

Before I start, I want to especially specify that I am a person who is a medicine student, daughter of a doctor and whose parents have gotten the virus in the beginning of the April but still have the effects virus left on body such as tachycardia, arrhytmia, respiratory distress which appear after a physical activity. These facts don’t make me an expert but make me someone who has relatively better knowledge about some medical subjects and someone who has had a bad personal experience with the virus.

I don’t know if there’s any need for me to say that I’ve become really worried after seeing the visual, it was my initial reaction, I always dread to hear the news of their death and I was, yes, thinking what if he gets infected? My parents in their forties still have problems and in comparison with them; him in 70, what bad consequences would happen? Then, I had some other questions, I was sort of disappointed that he went out without any protection, after all that’s been said. Why?

I know, he’s a smart man and thought I can’t judge him that easily because of him going out. I considered some points and turned my disappointment into calmness. Now I am sharing them with you, especially for those who’s initial reaction was panic and started to spit venom,

Firstly, we must acknowledge that photos are capture of a moment which lasts for split seconds. All we have right now is a split second photo of him without a mask. So do we have any right to attack him for not using mask? No. Because I don’t even know if he was already wearing it or not, if he took it off for the photo or not. Maybe he wanted his smile to be seen at the photo, wanted to create a sincere environment. But we can’t create a drama out of it. Believe me, I am one of those gets so raged after seeing a person not using a mask. It’s necessary, you have to do it for both your and my health. But even I, am not going to make a story from only a photo of someone. That’s pretty normal. I have taken photos of ourselves too and I took my mask off at safe points for this only to wear it again after. However, I will never let people say that I don’t have the mask on me, how dare I can be this selfish and stroll around without any caution. No, I am very very careful and you can never judge me for the moment.

Secondly, let’s say he hasn’t been using mask while he was sitting. He’s at a restaurant. It’s quite understandable that he doesn’t have a mask. Is there anyone who can eat with their masks on? I don’t think so. I am also sure many of us has gone to a cafe or restaurant at some point since the decreases at the cases have started and shops were opened. I accept that I did but where did I choose to sit? At open-air and secluded parts of them. I have started using my mask even before the virus hasn’t been spreaded widely around the country yet, never stopped using it even if I go outdoor because I’ve always been conscious about it. But guess where is the only place I had to take them off? Yes, the restaurants. While I am eating, I have to use my mouth and I take it off to wear it immediately after I finish. That’s probably what he had to do too.

Next, if you just observe carefully and detailedly, you see a small distance between them and Roger. Perspective can fool us so well and unbeliveably. You assume it’s short length from a point but when you change your angle, you see that it is not what it looks like, it’s the opposite, the gap is huger than you think! There has been posts about it even here. What if this is the case? I don’t think that I can interpret that he doesn’t care about rules and stays close to people. In fact, he’s leaning towards them slightly, his chair and knife seems a little so we can quite reckon how is his sitting straight position. Gives me a impression that it’s far from other people and he just leaned a little for the photo because he isn’t rude to the fans. I am sure, there would be another discussion if he rejected their photo request. The man seems like sitting at the edge of the chair and there is a woman and man smiling and looking at camera in the back, at the second table. I can maybe assume, these fans came from there and talked briefly, took a photo, then went away. He always stays close with fans or puts an arm behind them on photos, if he didn’t care, he might have tried to do that again.

Another point, some researchs say that not socializing for a long time might cause regression on brain structures and functions especially of old people, who are older than 65. They already have minor of it, as something age brings with it and closing them, without any human interaction might make it worse. That’s why this has been discussed here if there can be another good way for old people because being under quarantine for months may effect them badly. Not just that, psychological effect that being between 4 walls leaves on us is a significant one. Whether we notice it or not, there is a change because we’ve gotten used to go out freely. As for him; alright, he has a big house with a wide garden, his wife with him and comparably, he has much comfortable and livable conditions than many of us. But is this really enough to stay there for this much long time and don’t go on any holiday at all? Especiallr for him who is energetic and has given concerts for all these years? Same place bores us after a point, we feel the need of change. He has stayed in his house for all this time and hasn’t moaned about it on social media like some other celebrities, he probably tried to make the best out of it; giving drum tutorials, recording a song, playing song with his friends on video call and now that he went to holiday, people started to attack. He has disadvantage because of his age but also has right and need to get relaxed too.

All people started to go on holiday. I confess, I did too. We have a private summerhouse with a pool so I have been lucky about not getting into crowd a lot but I was still cautious. Like I have woken up at the wee hours to be able to go to sea. So it’s possible to go on holiday and be safe if you take the precautions. We don’t even know what kind of a holiday he’s having, might be a boat, private rented house or something else. Maybe he was isolating himself on the vacation too. We don’t even know anything for sure. Just because we received a photo of him at a restaurant isn’t enough to throw mud at him for going on holiday. Especially not now, when everybody is having holiday. If only celebrities went to have holiday and us people had to stay at home, I would get angry too. But he’s not only one to blame at this. 

Lastly, his daughter is a GP. He can comfortably ask her about what he should do or what is safer to do. Everybody likes to ask to people who’s close to them and in that field because it’s easier to learn and more reliable than internet. Like even a neighbour rings our bell to ask a medical question to my father at obnoxious hours, is he going to he hesitate to call his own daughter to ask couple of things? I doubt it. He has a chance to learn about it more and better, I am sure he wouldn’t miss this chance. He has always been a responsible, smart man and I am not sure if he would suddenly turn into an ignorant, stupid person.

I try to see your point of views too. Yes, it seems unpleasing to view him in that position during this pandemic. Yes, I was irritated by it as I said that I am much more sensitive about this and it is against my principles. But when you think sensibly, you get to the conclusion that it might not seem like what it is. If we kept seeing new content of him going around without a mask, I would totally justify you. But right now, this is not what it is. It’s so easy to prejudge someone, so so easy, what is harder is to put them aside and think carefully if something different is possible. When I think, I reach to these many points and I haven’t felt lazy to write them all because I haven’t seen enough people that think with every aspects but seen the ones who attacked greatly. 

I am concerned because of his age and his choice of resturant which is relatively crowded. But as it is in the words, it’s his ‘choice’ and I can’t call him stupid because of that. I am hoping that nothing bad happens because this disease is really hell but I also trust his mind and try to think that he will do what’s necessary to protect himself. I just invite everybody to think reasonably, evaluate every aspects and not create a drama easily because we have already enough of it. Criticize kindly, I do that too - I would have preferred him do be at a safer place but as I said there is probably an explanation and it’s his will, but please don’t be this aggresive using these rude words.

[toogoodmusic]

THE TOO GOOD TEN with YAM HAUS

Pursuing a career in music is tough but made a bit easier when you get to do it alongside long-time friends. That’s a reality for the four-piece band, Yam Haus out of Minneapolis. The alt-pop band appeared on the scene in 2018 with their debut single, “West Coast” - a chill synth infused pop song - that immediately gained some traction and shot up over a million streams. Since then, the group has released their 13 song debut album, Stargazer and the 2020 The Band Is Gonna Make It EP and more recently their single “novocaine.” They follow-up “novocaine” with the upbeat and funky “Whatever It Is” that encourages you to not sweat the small stuff. Just as much friends as they are musicians the boys of Yam Haus show their less serious side in their Youtube Vlogs and social media and have garnered a passionate fanbase to boost. Get to know your new favorite band by checking out their latest single above and their full Too Good Ten interview below:

The Too Good Ten. Ten Questions. One Artist. Too Good. Let’s go.

1. Taking it back to the beginning – how did the four of you come together to from Yam Haus?

YAM HAUS: We’re high school friends that met up after college and decided to go for the dream of being in a band together. This is something we’ve all dreamt of doing since we were kids.

2. We’ve gotta touch on the band name – Yam Haus – its so unique. The YAM is an acronym stands for “You Are Me” correct? How did the name come to be? What does “You Are Me” mean to you?

YH: We were living in a house together when we started the band and had started calling it the "Yam House” as a reminder of the whole “you are me” thing in relation to being good roommates, friends, etc. We were totally strapped trying to find a name that wasn’t already taken and someone suggested calling the band that and we just went for it. We spelt house in German just to make it look weird.

3. You guys have played alongside some impressive names in music such as Kacey Musgraves, Tori Kelly, Andy Grammer, American Authors and lovelytheband just to name a few. What does it mean to share a stage with acts like that? Any learnings from watching these artists perform?

YH: It means a lot. It’s such a privilege to get the chance to play alongside artists that are further along than us. One of the biggest things we’ve learned from a lot of bigger artists is to stay humble and not take any of this for granted.

4. “WHATEVER IT IS” is out now! How does this song feel different or similar to previous releases? How long had you been working on this one?

YH: To compare it to our previous releases, it has the feel good message of a song like “Groovin’” and the more ambitious production of a song like “The Thrill.” It was fun to see those two vibes come together. It’s a song we needed personally, with how gloomy this past year has been for literally everybody on earth, it felt good to stumble into making a feel good song organically. Seth made the demo in February of this year, and we made the verses and then brought it down to Nashville with our producer Mark Needham and a co-writer Aaron Raitiere and they helped us bring it to the finish line that same month. It was a pretty quick process.

5. Your social media is hilarious and seems like you guys are really good friends in addition to being bandmates. Do you guys feel it’s important to not take each other/life too seriously when pursuing a career in music?

YH: Absolutely. Our friendship is a very integral part of what we do. It’s one of our biggest strengths. Another important aspect we’ve tried to remember is to not tie up our personal identities too strongly into social media, while still being true to ourselves and what we’re about. That can be a fine balance to maintain. When we get too wrapped up into everything and in our heads too much, things can start to feel really hopeless and unnecessarily stressful, so it helps to always remember to take a step back and have healthy personal lives that stand can alone outside of the band. When we’re healthy personally it bleeds into Yam Haus in a really beautiful and effortless way.

6. You guys played your first live stream concert (that also featured some in person attendance) in early April. Although there was a live audience component did you prepare differently knowing it’d be a live stream? How’d it feel to be playing shows again?

YH: Not really, we just made a set list we were excited about and showed up and played it like we always do. It feels really good but also it brings up a lot of sad emotions that I feel we’ve all repressed a bit pertaining how much we’ve missed stuff in the past year. It’s bittersweet in a way, and we’re really grateful to be playing again.

7. Do you guys have any funny/weird/heartwarming fan stories/interactions?

YH: Loads! One of my favorites would be when everybody passed little hearts around and held them up at us at First Avenue in December of 2019. We didn’t know that was happening and it surprised us in a really sweet way. Seeing all those hands holding them up at us was so wonderful.

8. Are there any pranks you guys have pulled on each other throughout the years? If so, any stand out?

YH: Yeah we occasionally have thrown surprise “turkey parties” for each other where we decide one of us is a turkey and we have this huge turkey themed party in their honor.

9. For each member, if you could only listen to (5) artists for the rest of your life who would they be?

Lars: Leif Vollebekk, Radiohead, Sheryl Crow, Outkast, Charli XCX

Seth: Coldplay, Frank Ocean, John Prine, Kendrick Lamar, Radiohead

Zach: Bon Iver, Kendrick Lamar, Charli XCX, Stevie Wonder, Radiohead

Jake: Coldplay, Leif Vollebekk, Corrine Bailey Rae, Stevie Wonder, John Mayer

10. What’s the rest of 2021 look like for Yam Haus?

YH: Lots of shows and music releases. Hoping people get vaxxed so we can get back on the road ASAP.

Yes - let’s all hope everyone gets vaccinated so we get live music back ASAP! Especially as they JUST announced their latest tour. For ticket information click HERE.

Shout-out to the guys of Yam Haus for hanging for the most recent Too Good Ten. Need more from these talent guys? Be sure to follow along on their journey below:

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[pennylanefics]

Soft Alphabet - Matt

a/n: here’s a new fic outline i first did with zapata :) i’ll be doing a few of these in the coming weeks, so pls don’t ask if i will be :) also i shut my laptop off before transferring this, so i can’t add a ‘keep reading’ link at the moment

•••

A - Affection (how do they show affection)

matt shows his affection through song. he’s not one for words, and sometimes finds it hard to express his feelings. instead, he’ll write a love song, detailing his love and adoration for you. he would record it exclusively, with just his voice and his guitar, and he would play it for you, and only you.

B - Balance (how do they balance you, work/school/life?)

he sees you all the time, basically. there is no balance. matt would rather spend time with you than his dad anyways, and when he’s with you, he’ll do schoolwork, which you make him do. the only time he doesn’t see you is when he’s working or with his bandmates.

C - Cuddles (do they enjoy cuddling? what positions?)

even if he doesn’t admit it, he loves to cuddle. it’s what calms him down after a long day of work and dealing with his dad. he’ll come home to find you in his room, the same place he told you to wait until he got home. he plops onto the bed and cuddles up to you, nuzzling his face into your neck and closing his eyes. you thread your fingers through his hair and comfort him as he rants about his shift, complaining about customers, his dad, letting out all of his thoughts.

D - Date (what was your first date?)

your first date is to a small concert in the park event. a few local bands were playing, excluding matt and his band, but he wanted to take you to a low key event. since you both bonded over music, he decided this would be the best option. so while the bands played in the background, you two chat and eat street food, even cuddling while the watching the bands. and because he’s matt and all, he kisses you sweetly at the end of the date, as he’s dropping you off at your place.

E - Excited (how excited do they get when they see you/are with you?)

matt tries to play it cool when he sees you, if he’s around people. like if you come to one of his band’s gig, he’ll coolly stride over to you and greet you. he doesn’t want people knowing that he’s a total softie for you because he will never hear the end of it from his friends if they do. but if you show up at his house alone, he has a huge smile on his face and is pulling you into his arms within a second.

F - Fighting (what happens when you fight)

your fights can get pretty bad sometimes. matt has a temper, so when he gets mad, he’s mad. you usually try to reason with him and keep him calm, but that doesn’t work all the time. he will blow up and say things he doesn’t even mean. you or him will either storm off to give each other some time to cool down before talking things out.

G - Gorgeous (pet names. what do they like to call you? what do they like to be called?)

basically any name in the book, matt likes to call you. baby, love, darling, sweetheart, gorgeous, beautiful. any name he can think of. and even though he doesn’t admit it, he enjoys the pet names you call him as well, including babe, lover, honey. he loves them so much and smiles and blushes every time you call him one when you are alone.

H - Hi (first time meeting)

you two first meet at the record store. you work there every weekend just to make some money, and one day, matt comes in looking for a specific album. he is in the store for a good fifteen minutes trying to look for it on his own, but he struggles. so, you walk over to him and ask if he needs help. he shyly admits that he does and tells you what he’s looking for. you then guide him over to the section and grab the album. he’s a bit embarrassed, but is happy that he finally got it. you quickly check him out, and that’s when he asks you if you’d like to go out sometime for lunch or dinner.

I - Insecure (what they do when you’re feeling insecure/vice versa)

matt doesn’t get insecure often, since he’s pretty confident and happy with himself. when he does, though, you are there to reassure him that he’s perfect to you. when you’re down, he tries his hardest to cheer you up with humor. he will pull funny faces, tell awful jokes, trying to get you to smile. when you finally do, he turns serious and gives you a long explanation of what he loves about you and how amazing he thinks you are. he’ll also give you many kisses until you feel better.

J - Jealousy (do they get jealous? how do they react to you being jealous)

surprisingly, matt gets insanely jealous. he knows that you would never cheat on him, but the idea of another guy flirting with you, looking you up and down at a party, or even just talking to you, makes him jealous. he doesn’t want any other guy flirting with you or even staring at you the way he does.

K - Kisses (where do they like to kiss you/how often?)

he kisses you whenever he has the chance to. when you come to visit him at work, he’ll take a little break and just kiss you, eventually getting told off by his dad. he also loves to make out, whenever. if you two are hanging out and he’s bored, he’ll just start kissing you, leading to a small, or big, makeout session, which can lead to more. he just loves having his lips on yours, it’s like an addiction.

L - Love (when was the first time they said i love you or realized it?)

it’s a little while until he says it. he’s not used to being in real, long relationships that aren’t just flings or friends with benefits, so it’s unusual and new for him. but, around six months or so, he can’t help but feel so strongly for you, so much so that he goes to his bandmates for help on what to do. he takes you to the hill that him and javed used to go to and just lays there with you, and that’s when he says it. he’s scared that you won’t feel the same, but thankfully, you say it back, making matt sigh out in relief.

M- Moving in (when do you decide to move in together)

matt gets so fed up with his father, he decides to move away from luton and find an apartment in the city, or close by, whatever he can find. when he tells you this, you’re of course upset that he won’t be around much anymore. but an idea suddenly pops into his head, and he asks if you want to move in with him. you are of course taken aback, as you’ve only been dating for about seven or eight months, but say yes anyways.

N - Newborn (their reaction to starting a family)

he has always been careful when it comes to sex. you two are still young, in your early twenties, and neither of you are ready to be parents just yet. but accidents can happen. you find out you’re pregnant shortly after your twenty-second birthday, which is when you and matt forgot a condom. when you tell him, he’s of course nervous and whatnot. but when your baby finally arrives, matt is full on ready to be a dad.

O - Open (how open you are with one another)

it’s a bit of a struggle getting matt to open up to you in the beginning of your relationship. he’s only used to quick flings or short relationships, so he’s never really used to being open in the first place. but as your relationship progressed, you sort of begged him to open up, since you felt like you still knew barely nothing about him. thankfully, he agreed and you two spent the entire night, cuddled up with one another, chatting about everything from your fears, where you see yourself in the future, everything.

P - Panic (how you calm them down when they’re scared/anxious/angry)

matt will just hold you close to him, whispering in your ear, running his hand through your hair, and gently sway you side to side to help calm you down. he can tell when a panic attack is coming on, so he is quick to pull you into him so that you are comforted the entire time. whenever you’re okay, he’ll give you a long, passionate kiss that takes your mind off of everything for a few seconds. when matt needs the comfort, you will play with his hair and allow him to cuddle up against you, or be the big spoon and just hold him. he loves the feeling of your arms around him and your hands in his hair. it always calms him down within seconds.

Q - Question (what you do when they come to you for help)

matt usually tends to try and solve problems on his own, but you always help him. he usually doesn’t make the best decisions, so that’s when you step in and offer your own thoughts, making sure whatever he plans on doing isn’t illegal or dangerous.

R - Recovery (how they/you help them after an injury)

since he’s a pretty reckless musician, he gets injured quite a lot at gigs. one time, he tried to crowd surf and the crowd wasn’t exactly ready or expecting it, so he fell straight to the ground, landing on his wrist. it ended up being a fracture, so he was out of the band for a few months while it healed. you took care of him the entire time; you even helped him shower, which included a few cheeky comments from matt.

S - Solution (how they resolve fights)

matt takes a day or two for himself to let the fight settle down before bringing it back up again. he figures two days or so is enough for it to simmer out. he comes to you, if the fight is his fault, and you two sit and talk everything out in a rational way. once things are resolved, you two cuddle to make up for the time that you were away from one another.

T- Touch (when they need/want your touch, what will they do? how often?)

he usually needs it when he’s upset or angry. you know his relationship with his dad, so whenever he comes to you after a fight or a disagreement, you know what to do. you’ll sit with him on the couch or your bed and hold his hands, running your fingers over the backs of them and over his palms.

U - Up ( waking up with them)

matt just loves cuddling in bed for as long as you can. if it was possible, he would spend all day there with you. but that’s usually not the case. you always stay with him the night before he has to work, and when he comes home, just to take his mind off his dad. in the morning, he never wants to leave your side and will give you kisses and hold you close to him.

V - Vacation (where they travel with you)

he takes you on a trip around europe during the summer for your year anniversary. from italy, to greece, france, germany, spain, anywhere you two can go. he loves spending time with you in fancy yet cheap hotels and houses, watching the beautiful sunsets with you from the balconies and touring around each city.

W - Wedding (how they propose, where you get married, honeymoon)

matt proposes at one of his gigs. he pulls you up on stage right before he sings their love song, gives a little speech, then proposes. the wedding is small, just your family and a few friends because matt wasn’t one for huge, extravagant events (unlike his parties), he wanted a tight-knit ceremony and reception. for the honeymoon, he takes you to ibiza, since his first time there was really fun and he wants to experience it with you

X - X-factor (what about you captivated them?)

your looks. let’s be real, i feel like matt goes for people based on looks more than anything. so the first thing he noticed about you was how beautiful you are. he was captivated the moment he saw you and wanted nothing more than to have a chat with you and get to know you more.

Y - Yawning (how they act when they’re tired)

matt is grumpy when he’s tired. he complains, he groans, he’s kind of awful to be around, really. but you put up with it because he looks so damn adorable when he is. he acts like this big, tough guy, but he looks like a soft teddy bear.

Z - Zzzz (how you fall asleep together)

he likes his space sometimes, so he usually falls asleep with his back towards you, or facing you. but he always has a hand on you, whether that’s in your hand, on your waist, or in your hair. other times, he enjoys a cuddle and holds you against his chest, his arm around your waist or under your shirt, on your bare back.

[larryfanficwriter98]

Chapter Five

Louis answered the facetime call grinning at the man across the screen still in a bed.

"Happy birthday and Merry Christmas Eve. Have you opened your presents yet?"

"No thought I would wait for you to wake up,  but I do have the gifts here along with the one with two bows which I'm assuming is my Christmas Eve present."

"Yes, it is. The very thin one is last altogether and the big cube is first."

"Everything else doesn't matter?"

"Not really however if you'd rather do the Christmas eve present first and let it start up while you open the rest then make sure to open the cube second. I bought myself one and it took a few minutes to start up so."

"It's too big to be a phone."

"Very observant."

"You do know I have a laptop right?"

"A broken laptop."

"Harold."

"Just come on and open it. I got it for a lot of reasons."

"Well, I already know what it is now." Louis told him

"Just shut up and open your Christmas Eve gift. Its Christmas I'm allowed to buy you expensive things." Harry said

"You bought me a Samovar."

"Please." Louis sighed heavily as he grabbed the gift, he looked at Harry who was grinning

"Where are you anyway? It's not the bus is it?"

"No, I'm in my LA home. The others are sleeping at a hotel though I offered them rooms here." Harry said

"You're alone on Christmas?" Louis asked stopping his unwrapping momentarily to look at Harry. Harry opened his mouth to speak, but he frowned and looked off camera before looking back at Louis after a second.

"No, my family is here. I'm trying to be quiet so they think I'm asleep otherwise they'll come in here. Well, go on then open it." Louis ripped the wrapping paper and shot Harry a glare when the box revealed the newest MacBook.

"Harold-"

"No, before you complain listen. This will give us better angles for video calls."

"Our phones worked just fine."

"Just shut up and take it." Louis shook his head as he stared at Harry. Harry with his long curly hair pulled into a bun, his pearl necklace laying against his bare chest, his little stubble on his jaw. His soft smile and soft eyes.

"So the cube next?" Louis asked looking away from Harry

"Yes. The cube." It was heavy in it's own way despite its medium size. He tore the gift open and froze when he saw the team logo.

"Wait..seriously?" Harry chuckled grinning as Louis grabbed the shadow box holding a signed ball from the entire Doncaster Rovers team, "Harry."

"I only paid for the shadow box, I know a lot of the players so when I told them my boyfriend is a huge fan the offered to sign a ball for me to give to you."

"Harry this is incredible. I can't open the rest Haz I won't be as excited now."

"Louis trust me it gets better." Louis put the shadow box to the side and grabbed another box placing it on his lap. Opening the box he pulled out four jerseys, two for home games, and two for away games. One set was for Doncaster and the other for Manchester. The third gift was two sets of five lanyards for the Manchester and Doncaster stadiums giving them access and free drinks and food in a VIP box.

"Harry.. but wait why five?"

"I'll be home near the middle of the season." Louis looked at Harry grinned, he bought the phone screen to his lips and kissed him making Harry laughed.

"One more. Is the MacBook set up?" Louis glanced at the MacBook then started to finish setting it up. "Open the last one and play it."

"Harry, I swear if you make me cry." Louis said as he grabbed the thin square package. He already knew it was a cd which meant a personalized playlist, a cheesy montage of their time together, or something along those lines, and honestly, Louis wasn't ready for either of those options.

"I am going to let you listen to it alone and I will take a shower and eat breakfast then we can talk in about two hours?"

"Alright." Harry leaned in to the screen and kissed the lens making Louis laugh. The facetime ended so Louis focused on the gift revealing the cd and placing it in the CD tray. He clicked on the pop up then pressed play turning the volume up.

"I know you don't want us to say the L-word until we meet for the first time. So I wrote something that I hope will express my feelings for you as strongly and clearly as I can and um... this might give away who I am, but I'm not scared about that. I've been trying to find a way to tell you for a few weeks now since you fell asleep on our facetime call in Australia. So I um... I hope you like it I guess and if you do find out who I am and if you need a few days to think about what being in a relationship with me would involve then let me know. If you come to a decision of ending things just know that I trust you and I'm sorry and I completely understand why you would decide that. If you still want to be with me then great and we can talk more on the depth of everything like if you want to be public about our relationship or not. Whatever you want. Alright.. before I say the word you don't want me to I'm going to stop this and let you listen. Bye." Louis laughed at his awkward boyfriend shaking his head as a soft piano came over the speakers.

"If I could fly I'd be coming right back home to you I think I might Give up everything just ask me to Pay attention, I hope that you listen Cause I've let my guard down Right now in completely defenseless

For your eyes only I'll show you my heart For when you're lonely And forget who you are I'm missing half of me When we're apart Now you know me For your eyes only."

Louis closed his eyes to keep his traitorous tears back. Harry's voice was raw, but sounded beautiful and Louis had a hard time focusing on what he was singing. He did recognize the voice, he knew he has heard it on the radio quite a few times, but he was terrible at remembering names. He knew that once he actually knew who Harry was he'd feel pretty damn stupid, but right now he couldn't think of anything. Louis replayed the song five times before it the lyrics finally sunk in and Louis understood this was Harry telling Louis that he Loved him with a capital 'L'.

Like he was completely in and completely gone for Louis. Louis would be lying if he said the thought didn't terrify him, but he felt the same way about Harry. He had fallen when Harry had answered a facetime with the widest grin, completely shirtless, and a towel wrapped around his waist. HIS WAIST. Not his hips like a normal person, his waist which meant his towel had stopped pretty high on his thighs. But Louis hadn't even noticed that until after he had completely fallen for his dimples and open mouth smile and his wet hair and his perfect complexion. Louis was pretty sure he had stopped breathing for a minute only to stop breathing again when Harry had straightened up and Louis had noticed his towel situation.

Nothing had been revealed, but still, it was the principal of things. Harry had perfect thighs and it was rude. How dare he just answer a facetime looking like a god while Louis had been wearing a stained holey band shirt and stained sweats with pizza sauce on the corner of his mouth. He had been tempted to break up with him because of it. Of course, he had talked himself out of it, but the thought had lingered in his head for a few seconds.

****

Two hours later Louis escaped to his room and accepted the facetime request. Harry was outside this time, but he was looking off-camera at someone.

"Mom. I love you, but please leave now."

"What if you need me?"

"Mom go away," Harry said

"But what if he's mean to you."

Mom. I'm 21 and I've been talking to him for months."

"Remember the last Doncaster boy you liked? He took your number and never texted you."

"I was 14 mom, I wouldn't have texted me either. Now go away."

"Fine. I'll be inside if you need me." Harry turned to the phone with a soft blush on his cheeks

"You had another Doncaster boy? Should I be worried?" Louis asked

"No, it was 2009 and at a battle of the bands. He was a singer in this band."

"Wait...shut up...2009 battle of the bands?" Louis asked sitting up straighter

"Yeah, why?"

"No fucking way. What was the guy's band name?" Louis asked not able to believe it

"Band name? I don't know it was...seven years ago. Rogue something I think or maybe something Rogue."

"Shut up."

"What?" Harry asked amused

"That was my band. The Rogue. We met before Harry."

"No."

"Yes. Me mom has the picture we took together in one of the photo albums back home in Donny."

"You're shitting me. We snogged that day."

"We snogged in the toilet stall after you peed on me. The first time." Louis told his embarrassed boyfriend making him even more embarrassed as he buried his face in his arms.

"Oh my god. Please stop talking now." Louis laughed even harder as he thought back to 2009, "wait didn't we meet again? At the script concert?"

"We did. We met up in the toilets. I think you were leaving when I was coming in."

"Fucking hell." Harry said shaking his head

"Then again that summer when I was on holiday and again in 2010 at the X Factor auditions."

"No."

"Yes. We have met four fucking times already." Louis said as he remembered Harry again

"Well after eight years I finally get your number." Harry said making Louis blush

"Well, I can explain. The first time I never actually saved it. I typed it, but I forgot to save it so when I tried to text you I couldn't. Then after the concert, I was actually struggling with coming out and being comfortable with it all. The holiday I still hadn't come out so I sort of ignored you then we didn't exchange numbers at the auditions. I left early anyway so I never actually auditioned."

"What? Why not? Louis, you should have auditioned. I remember you having an amazing voice."

"And lose to you? No thanks. Talk about a busted ego." Harry shook his head smiling as he laid his chin on his hand

"I actually didn't win. When you get to the Live Shows they give you this new contract to sign in case they want to sign anyone who doesn't win. A lot of the other contestants warned me about bad labels and what they can do and that they could closest someone. I was already being labeled and branded as a lady's man at 16 on that show. I refused to sign the contract and they organized my elimination three weeks later. Simon tried to talk me out of it a lot, but I refused and told my mom I didn’t want to be forced into a five to ten-year closet. Six months later Sony got a hold of me and told me that I would be able to coke out whenever I wanted, but until then they did want to promote me as straight which I was fine with. Luckily it had to wait until I was 18 so when I turned 18 they had me date Taylor Swift. I'm not out publicly yet, but I just never really had a reason to come out."

The first thing that popped into Louis' head was "Harry Styles"  but that was insane because Harry was...like...18 and had a mop of curls. He did not have tattoos or long hair nor was he 21 turning 22. Louis was positive he had just turned 18 last year.

"That's good that you were warned and was able to escape before you were legally straight."

"Yeah, it is. A little upset I will never know if I would have won or not, but I guess having my first album get platinum within a week was proof enough that I would have at least made top 5."

~~~~~

Harry had gotten Niall an expensive whiskey that Niall was excited about and a limited edition Baccarat Louxor Bar Set. Liam got a $100 tattoo voucher for the local parlor he liked and some Manchester footie merch signed as well like Louis'. Zayn got some expensive hair care products as well as a $100 (my keyboard doesn't have the pound symbol so sorry about the American dollar) tattoo voucher. For someone who only knew a few things about his roommates he did amazing and they were all excited about everything.

Louis had gotten more gifts from all of the places Harry has been. Some more sweaters, a Japanese dragon jacket that felt expensive and warm. A rice cooker with a side note to follow the instructions causing Louis and the lads to laugh. Harry also bought Louis a Royal Copenhagen complete set which almost made Louis cry. Having a complete Royal Copenhagen set was every tea lover's dream, if they're lucky they are able to collect a few tea cups, but it was rare to get a complete set.

In the last box, Louis opened it revealed a large lilac sweater that was something Louis wouldn't usually wear until he pulled it out. The smell was of a tropical scent mixed with an expensive earthy cologne. That meant the sweater was Harry's along with the other sweaters that were folded neatly into the box. A white Aran turtle neck sweater, a black hoodie with a rose embroidery, and under that was a note over another hoodie reading, "unreleased merch". When Louis pulled out the black hoodie it had "Treat People With Kindness" written in rainbow embroidery across the chest. The last one was a light pink sweater with Harry on the chest and then the same quote on the arm.

"Wait.. your boyfriend sent you Harry Styles merch? You've got to be kidding me." Liam said grabbing the black hoodie from Louis

"What?" Louis asked

"Treat people with kindness. This is Harry Styles' merch, it's like his slogan, his brand." Liam said

"Really?" Louis asked, "isn't he like..17?"

"What? No, he's 21 Louis. He was 17 in 2011." Zayn said as he looked at the hoodie, "I haven't seen this one yet."

"21..and when is his birthday?" Louis asked

"The first of February." Niall told him Louis nodded and grabbed his phone going to the safari app and googling Harry Styles.

Sure enough there he was with long hair and tattoos and extremely long legs. There were also modeling pictures and paparazzi pictures of him at airports and fan pictures. Louis went on Instagram and went to Harry Styles' profile and saw many pictures of the countries landscapes and landmarks he had visited the past few months. One of the posts was a picture of Louis' teddys on Louis' shelf in his bedroom wall that he got just for them. The caption read, "Dating 101 - buy them cheesy €5 souvenirs" Louis made his profile private then commented, "and the sweaters that still smell like you."

[myqueenjudeduarte]

Something Like Trust: Chapter 1

Here it is y’all... the fic you’ve been waiting your whole lives for... a 10k word first chapter of Jurdan BDSM. 

Post-The Wicked King

Tags/Warnings: Slapping (in a sexual context), references to spanking, teasing, orgasm delay, uhh angst and emotional fuckery, BDSM obviously, alcohol, also alcoholism because Cardan is present, kind of exhibitionism, I can’t accurately prepare you guys for this fic so just don’t read it if you aren’t comfortable with BDSM relationships. The later chapters will have a lot more intense stuff so just... be warned. OH also warning for them both being COMPLETELY out of character like honestly y’all this is DISGRACEFUL.

Summary: “I was thinking of an arrangement which would allow you moments of powerlessness. An arrangement in which I would take the control, allowing you to experience the feeling of an utter lack of responsibility, a feeling in which I am in command of all and you have no worries to speak of.”

Word Count: 9,426 I’m sO SORRY

Let me know if you want to be tagged in my fics!

Everyone who knew Jude Duarte came quickly to realize that what she sought, above all else, was power. Control. Influence. That she had long felt powerless, and that she remedied this through a combination of scheming and working to rise to the top.

And rise to the top Jude had.

There were few higher places for an 18-year-old mortal girl to be than by the side of the High King of Elfhame, ruling a kingdom with him. And there were few people more profitable to be close to than the High King himself.

There were times, though, when Jude — though she would never admit it — craved above all else a respite from the power. The control. The influence. Craved, in fact, a moment of return to that place of powerlessness, when the worries of the kingdom had been anyone’s but hers and she was free to rest and roam rather than reign.

And there were moments, now, after nearing 6 months since Jude’s return to Elfhame and eventual semi-reconciliation with Cardan, when Jude imagined herself as powerless once more and still imagined Cardan by her side, not ruling together, but simply being together.

When these thoughts struck Jude she would roughly and with decisiveness shove them to the back of her mind and pretend she had never experienced them. Jude could no more afford a break from her power than she could afford to become emotionally involved with her fellow ruler. These were thoughts she had no choice but to keep to herself, as she did most of her thoughts and all of her feelings.

Until tonight, when Jude was drunk.

Jude was, to be quite transparent, far past drunk. Jude was heavily intoxicated, and, she reasoned, through no fault of her own. She had overheard several subjects of Elfhame debating how, exactly, they were expected to take seriously a queen who was not only mortal, but didn’t even drink. The King, of course, drank his fill — why was the queen so serious all the time? How could she ever expect to fit in with faeries if she wouldn’t even let loose at a revel?

Jude, of course, wanted nothing more than power, and power was a child, born of respect and fear. She rationalized, then, that to fit in in Elfhame more fully would be to earn respect, and with respect, power. She gained from this the idea that she had no choice but to drink.

And drink she did.

Cardan looked on from his throne in bewilderment and something akin to amusement as Jude danced and drank with the people of Elfhame. He wanted nothing more than to join her in her drunken fun, but felt that this was something, strange as it was, she needed to do on her own.

When Cardan was falling asleep on the throne and the sun was beginning to make the day known, Jude finally approached the dais, stumbling and smiling and so, so stunning — at least, that was all Cardan could think of as she draped herself over her throne, positioned beside his.

“Cardan, I danced,” she said. Cardan made a most concerted effort to school his face into seriousness, or at least not to laugh at her. He didn’t want to ruin this.

“Yes, Jude. I watched,” he said in a low voice.

To Cardan’s surprise, he saw a faint blush spread over Jude’s cheeks.

“Did you?” she said, and pushed herself with some difficulty closer to him. “Would you like to watch me further? Perhaps in my chambers, and perhaps wearing less than we are now?” Jude whispered the words, but Cardan was still taken aback. It was rare — unheard of, really — of Jude to be so forward, or forward at all.

Cardan and Jude were no strangers to sleeping together, but Cardan usually initiated it, delivering smirks and pointed remarks until Jude rolled her eyes and almost admitted to having desire of her own. Now, though, Jude was too drunk to care that her want could be used against her as a weakness.

As strongly, though, as Jude’s words and posture affected Cardan, he was loathe to do anything with Jude that she would regret in the morning, or that he would regret as taking advantage of the woman he had begun to admit to himself that he had feelings for.

“I think, my dear Jude, that you have had too much to drink for me to consider your admittedly delightful proposal.”

Jude merely smiled and closed her eyes, swaying slightly. “I love it when you call me dear,” she said softly.

Cardan felt a pressure on his chest, the sensation that his ribs might break and puncture his heart and end his immortal life right here and now.

“And I love that you’ve told me that, but I think I should return you to your chambers before you say anything else you will hate yourself for in the morning.” The words were sad, and so was Cardan as he considered what Jude would likely do to herself for even that small admission.

Jude and Cardan didn’t share chambers, and certainly not for Cardan’s lack of trying. Jude refused to become closer with Cardan than sex and a rare moment of shared silence afterward, than discussing the workings of the kingdom. Cardan had asked — near begged, really — Jude to move in, but she had steadfastly refused to assent.

“Your chambers, today, I think,” said Jude, her voice low. Cardan felt his blood heating despite himself, but pushed the thoughts away — now was not the time to lose himself in his passion for her.

“My chambers, then, but to sleep.”

Jude positively pouted. “You’re no fun. Why are you no fun? I’m supposed to be the no fun one.”

Cardan smiled at that. “Yes, those are our usual roles, aren’t they? But tonight, you’ve had a little too much fun, so I am saddled with the role of the serious.”

Jude continued to pout. “Are you gonna take care of me?” she asked, brightening slightly at the thought.

“For the night,” Cardan said quietly, before standing and offering Jude his hand. “On any other, you would run me through for the barest implication that you needed caring for.”

Jude laughed. “I wouldn’t run you through. You’re Cardan!”

“So I am,” he replied.

“I wouldn’t run Cardan through. I’d miss him.”

Realizing that Jude seemed to have forgotten with whom she was speaking, Cardan led her in silence to his chambers, still mulling over her words. It was nice, at the basest level, to hear that she had no desire to kill him. Even that small mercy took him by surprise. “My ruthless girl,” he thought, and then corrected himself. She was not his girl, after all.

When they arrived in his chambers, Cardan helped Jude into bed before lying down beside her. He may have been unwilling to engage in anything sexual while she was in her present state, but he had no qualms about taking advantage of it to be close to her. The morality of his behavior had improved over the past months ruling with Jude, but he adopted no pretense of being perfect.

To his shocked delight, Jude snuggled close to him, tucking her head against his chest when he rolled toward her. He tentatively placed an arm over her side, and she hummed happily. Jude and Cardan had shared time, shared kisses, shared rule of a kingdom, but they had not shared true intimacy since the night they were married. Until, that is, this moment, a moment Cardan placed quietly into his heart to cherish in the days, weeks, months of cold that were sure to follow this night.

He thought this was the end of the happy moments, that Jude would drift off to sleep and that he would face an angry, hungover mortal the next day, but instead, Jude spoke.

“I know I’ll be too afraid to say this tomorrow,” she whispered. “I’m not so drunk as to forget my own nature.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t—“

“I’m cruel to you anyway, Cardan, wouldn’t you rather hear what I have to say now and face my wrath tomorrow?”

Cardan remained silent.

“Sometimes I don’t want this power,” Jude spoke, slowly, softly. “Sometimes I want to feel powerless again, to feel like the weight of a kingdom doesn’t rest on our shared shoulders. Like we’re kids again, like you’re treating me badly during lessons on warm evenings in the gardens. Or like we’re older, and you’re kinder, and we have time to be away from all of this. Can you imagine if we had the space and time to be powerless, even for a second?”

Jude sighed. “I know it makes no sense,” she said, “I know you think that everything I am seeks power, but there’s something else there, inside me. Don’t forget that there’s something else, ok?”

Her words grew more desperate, and with the desperation, more slurred, as she continued speaking. But Cardan barely noticed her fading — an idea had come to his mind, one he could not release despite its insanity, despite the fact that all would be lost when they woke.

“It makes perfect sense, Jude,” he spoke as she drifted off to sleep. “And I know exactly what you need.”

—

“What is it?” These were the first words Cardan heard upon waking. He had slept until nightfall, they both had, and he could see the rays of the setting sun outside the window, the pink and purple hues of the night-turning sky. For a moment, he didn’t even process the question.

“What?” he asked sleepily, beginning to sit up only to find a hand on his chest pinning him to the bed.

“I asked you what it is,” Jude said, voice nothing more than mildly annoyed despite the harshness of her actions. “What is it that I need?”

“You remember that?”

Jude rolled her eyes. “I may have been mildly intoxicated, but I still remember the morning, Cardan.”

Cardan smiled at what she termed “mild” intoxication. “Do you truly want to know?”

“Yes.” Her voice was solemn now, almost nervous, as if she could sense that his answer would not be an easy one.

It wouldn’t.

Cardan’s smile turned to a smirk as he looked up at her, hair and clothes rumpled from sleep, eyes wide with anticipation. She was beautiful, and he was glad to be telling her this, despite how she would surely react.

“I was thinking, my Jude, of an arrangement of sorts.”

“What kind of—“

“Let me finish, Jude.”

She was quiet.

“I was thinking of an arrangement which would allow you moments of powerlessness. An arrangement in which I would take the control, allowing you to experience the feeling of an utter lack of responsibility, a feeling in which I am in command of all and you have no worries to speak of.”

“You would take charge of the kingdom?”

“I would take charge of you, Jude.”

There was silence for several moments, utter, complete silence as Jude studied him. He expected at any second for her to yell, hurt him, get up and leave, or in some other way snap. It would be worth it. But, to his surprise, she merely said,

“Explain.”

And explain he did.

“I would take charge of you — specifically of your body, and specifically sexually, but your mind would follow, I expect. My every command you would follow, or risk punishment. This could be situational or constant, depending on your level of comfort. That means that we could either have assigned stretches under which these conditions are met — you obey me, I care for you, and the focus is on the sexual — and the rest of the time we would be the same Jude and Cardan we are now, bickering and never once obeying the other, unless forced to do so” (this he said with a pointed look, reminding Jude of their past arrangement). “Alternatively, we could have a constant arrangement, one in which you always obey my commands or you are punished. In this way, you could both have power and powerlessness simultaneously, depending on the situation. Both of these, I assume, sound far outside your comfort, but Jude, I implore you to at least consider what I suggest, even if you do no more. Consider what it would mean for you.” With this last desperate plea, Cardan fell silent, awaiting the stormy anger he expected from Jude. This time, his expectations were met.

“Do you think,” she said in the deadly calm he had learned to fear in their time together, “that I trust you, Cardan?”

“No, but I think that you need to.”

“For this? For your deranged sex idea?”

“For this, for our ruling together, for our marriage, for your health.”

“Our marriage has been a sham since you exiled me,” she spat, bringing up wounds Cardan had never been so bold as to think healed.

“I should like it not to be.”

There was a moment of silence before Jude spoke once more.

“What kind of punishments?”

Cardan felt acutely the whiplash of this conversation.

“Some physical, some lack of privileges, depending on the intensity of the relationship. Some pleasant and playful and some less so.”

“Would you ever hit me?”

“Only with your explicit permission and desire.”

“Hit me. I desire it.”

Concentrating on the effort not to let his shock and his own desire show on his face, Cardan brought a hand up from where it had rested on the bed, reached to where Jude still hovered over him, and slapped her thigh, hard. She still wore her dress from the revel of the night before, allowing his hand to connect with bare skin.

Jude gasped in surprise, then rolled onto her back beside him.

“And what if I did obey?” was her next question, asked tentatively.

“I would reward you.”

“What kind of rewards?”

“Would you like me to demonstrate those, as well?”

Jude’s silence served as assent, and Cardan rolled onto his elbow to hover over Jude’s frame.

“I might start like this,” he said, trailing his hand across the high neckline of Jude’s dress, over her throat.

“And move lower,” he added, running his hand over her chest to cup her breast gently. “Like this.”

Jude bit her lip, rubbed her missing fingertip against her thumb, the tell-tale sign of her nervousness. Cardan continued.

“I might tease you a bit, even when you had been good, because the important aspect of this is that you are subject to my desires. No matter how good you’ve been, if I want to punish you, I may, and if I want to reward you, I will do so at my leisure.” As he spoke, he grazed his fingertips over her breast, studiously avoiding her nipple. She wasn’t wearing a bra — she must have removed it in her drunken sleep, and he could see the peak of her nipple under the thin fabric of her dress.

When, after several long minutes, he finally brushed her nipple with his knuckle, Jude breathed a sigh of pleasure.

“Here,” Cardan said, pausing his ministrations, “I might give you an order. I might tell you to be quiet, or not to move, or both, and if you break the rules...” he slapped her thigh hard once again. “You might find you rather dislike the results.”

Cardan could see the effect he was having on Jude and pushed forward, wanting nothing more than to convince her that this was what she needed. He had never expected to get this far on a subject he expected her to shut down immediately, and he would not sacrifice the opportunity.

“Next, I might move lower...” he slid his hand down over her stomach, felt the softness there that covered hard muscle.

“Down to here, perhaps,” he said as he reached the junction of her thighs. “And since this is a reward, I would likely not make you wait too terribly long for what you would so desperately, desperately want.”

As Cardan’s hand slipped under Jude’s dress, he felt the wetness between her thighs and knew his words and actions had their desired effect.

“I see that this is already what you desperately, desperately want, my dear Jude?”

Jude’s hand darted out and clasped Cardan’s wrist, pulling it out from under her dress. He could never hope to be stronger than her, so he waited in anticipation for what she would say.

“Yes,” she said breathlessly, and Cardan relaxed slightly. “Alright, Cardan. Let’s try. You have tonight to convince me that this is anything other than a horrible idea.” Here she paused, and he saw a shadow come over her face, knew that whatever she was about to say was hard for her.

“I don’t trust you, Cardan, and maybe I never will—“

“Jude—“

“But,” she said emphatically, “I’m willing to try. To see how it goes. And besides, I suppose that I trust you more than most people in my life, okay? That’s something.”

Cardan felt the familiar chest-crushing feeling as he gazed at her in the wake of that admission, one that would have been small had she been anyone but Jude Duarte.

“Does my time start now?” was all he replied, not wanting to get emotional and ruin this moment.

“I suppose,” she said, feigning a lack of care when Cardan could tell she was still flustered from his actions.

Cardan leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to Jude’s lips. To his continual surprise, she didn’t pull away- instead, she reciprocated, deepening the kiss slightly. This, if nothing else, revealed how aroused she was, and Cardan couldn’t help but smile at her willingness and desperation.

When he finally pulled away, it was because Cardan had business to attend to before they could truly begin the day that might change everything.

“There are a few things we need to discuss, and they happen to be the type of things that are best gone over with paper and pen.” He moved to retrieve both of those items, and to his delight Jude remained still on the bed, awaiting his return. Perhaps, he mused, she would be more obedient during this whole endeavor than he ever expected.

When he returned, Cardan sat cross-legged on the bed as Jude drew a knee up on which to rest her chin.

“The first item we need to discuss is your limits. These are the things I am absolutely, under no circumstances, allowed to do to you or to order you to do. These can be sexual or not, and this list can be edited at any time as you think of more.”

“I don’t...” and here Jude paused, taking a moment to overcome embarrassment over what she was about to say. “I don’t think I know enough about the things we might be doing to know what my limits would be.”

“And that is utterly acceptable,” Cardan said, rushing to reassure her. “They can be anything. For example,” and with this, he ran a hand down the side of her arm, leaving goosebumps in its wake, “you’ve made it abundantly clear that you have no qualms about being slapped. If you did, we would add it to the list. But if it helps you, I can list some things I may do and you can enlighten me as to how you would respond to them.”

Jude nodded, and Cardan steeled himself against his arousal, driven higher by the prospect of listing potential acts, to focus on the task at hand.

“How would you feel,” Cardan asked, “if I made you wait to orgasm for, say, 2 hours as I teased you?”

Cardan could see, feel the change in Jude’s posture as she became more aroused.

“I’m sure I would not feel good about that in the moment,” she replied, eyebrows raised, “but hearing about it, it sounds... appealing.”

“And if I made you wait for a day?”

Jude snorted. “As if you have the time as High King to take an entire day to tease me.”

“Nothing would be stopping me from ordering you to tease yourself when I was otherwise occupied.”

Jude flushed now. Cardan had been trying, to little avail, to help Jude become more comfortable talking about sex. They were doing it, after all, but outside of the act itself when Cardan brought it up Jude often became irate or uncomfortable.

Maybe, Cardan mused, some part of that was to do with the fact that he, as frequently as possible, brought it up loudly and in public.

Still. This conversation was a significant step towards growing Jude’s comfort in the topic, and Cardan planned to milk the opportunity for all he could.

“And if I didn’t have the time?” Jude asked at length, returning to the conversation.

“You might be surprised,” Cardan said, lowering his voice and leaning closer to Jude’s ear, “how easily you can slip out of a meeting and into a closet when the threat of my hand on your beautiful ass looms over you.”

Jude tried to jerk away from Cardan, but he held her chin tightly and pulled her back.

“You forget, I think, that we have already begun. You will not pull away from me, do you understand?”

Jude flushed hotter and grumbled something that resembled, “okay.”

“That was your first and only warning. Back, now, to the limits. Answer my last question.”

“Yes, I think I would accept waiting a day.”

“And a week?”

Jude’s eyes grew wide. “I... would prefer not to, but it isn’t a limit.”

Cardan, alert to the smallest minutiae of Jude’s actions, noticed as she shifted near imperceptibly closer to him. He smiled inwardly. What this small action conveyed to him was that his plan to make Jude desperate for his attentions, both sexual and non, before they even began was beginning to work.

“And if I wanted to brand you?”

“Limit.”

Cardan grinned, having known, of course, that this would be the answer.

“And there, my dear, is an example.”

Jude rolled her eyes. “I’m sorry that I needed to make clear that ‘permanent disfigurement’ is off the table.”

“You need to make everything clear, Jude, to reduce the possibility of my doing something that genuinely distresses you. And,” he said, growing serious, “I will allow it for now, but when we are done with writing and discussions and begin in earnest, I will expect a more respectful tone from you than that.”

“And if I don’t, you’ll punish me?”

Cardan could hear in Jude’s voice that her reply was no form of backtalk, but one of apprehension and excitement.

“Yes, Jude,” Cardan said, leaning closer once more. “I will punish you, and you will not enjoy it.”

“And if I do?”

Cardan frowned. “It is... a complicated line, to answer you with honesty. I want you to enjoy all that we do, because that is the main purpose of all of this. My role, above all else, is to protect and care for you while putting you in positions of vulnerability, and to make sure that the things we do while I am in control serve you well. However, a part of your enjoyment and powerlessness will be the knowledge that when you transgress, you will be corrected, and that the correction will make you want to avoid repeating the offense. So while I want you to enjoy the process, I do not expect you always to enjoy the particular instance of punishment. Confirm whether or not that makes sense to you.” This was Cardan’s attempt to help Jude grow used to following orders, and it succeeded as she obeyed without question on this small matter.

“Yes, it makes sense.”

Cardan saw Jude rub her legs together, almost too lightly to be noticeable, and smiled.

“Growing a bit desperate, are we?”

Jude scowled, then realized herself and schooled her face into neutrality. Cardan smiled wider at this indication that she was beginning to behave.

“Are you trying the teasing thing now? Trying to make me desperate?”

“Oh, Jude. If and when I tease you, I strongly suspect you shall know. No, when we finish this,” and he waved the paper and pen, “I will make sure your desperation is alleviated.”

“Then let’s get back to work.”

“Begging?”

Jude scoffed again, then looked guiltily at Cardan. It would take some time to break her of these habits, and Cardan fully expected to enjoy every moment of doing so.

“You are free to try to make me beg,” she replied, opting for a neutral statement that still conveyed her derisiveness.

Cardan smiled. “I love a challenge,” he retorted, “thought I doubt that it will be one after I have brought you to the appropriate headspace.”

“What does that mean?”

Cardan set down the paper and turned toward her for this section of the explanation.

“Sometimes, during arrangements such as the one we’re forming-“ At this, Jude raised her eyebrows, reminding him that this arrangement was far from settled.

“The one I hope to form,” he corrected himself. “During these arrangements, there is a certain state of mind you can enter. I have done it at the hands of others- it is a most wondrous, delightful feeling, as though everything in the world is taken care of and the person in control can do no wrong. I tell you this in advance of its happening because I want you to know that I in no way am provoking this state in you for my own gain, or so that you will think more highly of me. I do it because I want you to feel that incredible feeling, and to feel that you are safe and cherished. Do you understand?”

Jude nodded, but then a shadow passed over her face, as though thinking of something she would rather not.

“How do you know all of this? Who made you feel that way? Have you made others feel that way before?”

The jealousy present in her tone was uncharacteristic, and Cardan couldn’t help experiencing a rush of pleasure as he heard it.

“I have a good deal of experience with the topic, and a good deal of knowledge in how it can go poorly,” he answered with a sad smile. “There was a time when, in search of that feeling, I would entrust myself to anyone willing to help me. Many of them took advantage of the situation to cause me pain, not that I can say I didn’t often deserve it. But this is my promise to you, Jude - I will cause you pain, but it will never be more than you can tolerate, it will never be emotional pain, if I can prevent it, and it will never be for the reason that I want you to genuinely suffer. If I punish you, it is to correct you, and if I hurt you because I want to, it is for both of our pleasures.”

“But to your other question. Yes, I have made others feel this way, but never one who I... cared for, as I care for you. It will be entirely different. I hope you can believe that.”

“Nicasia?” was all she replied, unwilling, of course, to acknowledge the depth of feeling in his statement.

“Among others.”

Jude nodded, apparently satisfied for now with his answers.

“I think I understand the limits now. I would not like to be permanently disfigured,” she said with a pointed look, “nor would I like to be overly disgusted by anything we should do.”

“Elaborate.” He knew this would be a challenge for Jude, to speak explicitly about her likes and dislikes.

“I would not like... spit,” she said, “if that was even an option. Nor would I appreciate an excess of any fluid to touch me. I would like to remain relatively clean. Is that—“ Jude caught herself about to ask if that was acceptable and stopped there, frowning as it came to her attention that she had already begun to enter a place of asking his approval.

“Yes,” Cardan answered, as if she had finished the question. “Very good. Lie on your back.”

Jude tentatively did as instructed.

Cardan leaned over her, bringing his mouth to her breast and pressing light kisses along its top, still working through the fabric of her dress. His tongue moved lower to circle her nipple before he sucked it into his mouth, hard. Jude gasped in pleasure and Cardan hummed against her tender flesh.

He pulled back, but left a hand lingering on her cheek. “When you do as you are instructed, you are rewarded,” he said lightly, before returning to the paper. Jude tried to sit up with him, but he held up a hand.

“I want you in that position until I indicate otherwise.”

Jude lay back down.

“Good,” said Cardan with a smile. “Now. Any other limits you can think of currently? It is completely understandable if not, and we can add more at any time.”

Jude shook her head.

“Then we will move on to apprehensions. What are you apprehensive about going into this?”

Jude thought for a moment before replying.

“Vulnerability,” she said slowly. “Putting faith in someone other than myself, not that I even have too much of that in myself lately.” She turned her head away after speaking, realizing she had shared more than she meant to.

Cardan reached over to take her hand gently. “Keep going.”

“Being without weapons, without defenses. Being in a situation where I need to be protected. Being in a situation where I can’t protect you.” The apprehensions came out of her in a rush now, to Cardan’s relief.

“I’m also apprehensive that I will be bad at this, that I won’t be able to bring myself to be obedient and that you will quickly tire of trying to correct me.”

“Oh, Jude. I will never tire of correcting you, and you never need worry that you will be too disobedient. You have already shown me, given your actions of tonight alone, that you will be good at this, not that there is even a way you could be bad.”

Jude shot Cardan a quick grateful look before continuing.

“I’m apprehensive that this is going to make me seem weak.”

“To me?”

“To you, to the kingdom. To anyone who knows.”

“No one will know without your express permission, Jude. Besides, who would I tell?” Cardan spoke the words with some bitterness, reminding Jude that he had few people in his life besides her. The thought crossed her mind that she should endeavor to treat him slightly more kindly, as he had her.

“Those are all of my apprehensions for now,” was all she said. “What else do you need to write down?”

“You need two words - one which stops everything we are doing completely, and one which signals me to make sure you are okay before we continue.”

“Nicasia and Locke.” She answered without hesitation.

“Fitting,” Cardan said, amused. “Our ex lovers.” He hurriedly wrote down her answers before continuing.

“What shall you call me?”

“Cardan, perhaps?” she answered sarcastically.

Cardan frowned at her.

“A name which denotes respect, Jude. May I suggest ‘My Lord’ or ‘My King’? I won’t make you go so far as to call me master.”

“My Lord,” Jude replied after a brief moment of consideration.

“Good. For the rest of the night and day, from this moment on, you will address me as ‘My Lord’. You will respond to my questions with answers like ‘Yes, My Lord’ and ‘No, My Lord.’ Is that clear?”

“Yes, My Lord.” Jude said quietly. Cardan leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her lips.

“Good. That concludes the information I need to gather for now. I will store this sheet safely for future use.”

“You seem quite confident that there will be future use.”

Cardan raised an eyebrow but let the disrespect in her tone slide. “I think you need this, Jude, and I think you will come to realize that by the end of the time you’ve allotted me. Another thing to note is that from this moment forward, I will not take your disrespect quite so lightly.”

Jude nodded once, and Cardan seized her chin in his hand once more.

“Say, ‘yes, My Lord’.”

“Yes, My Lord,” Jude replied, averting her eyes, still unable to believe she had put herself in this position.

Cardan smiled. “So far, you have been fairly obedient, and completed all that I’ve asked of you with a minimum of complaint. Frankly, I’m impressed, and I do plan to reward you.”

Jude shivered.

“But first, I want to address something you said earlier, about my viewing you as weak. Jude, to submit to my control will be the ultimate show of strength. I know what it would take from you, and how bold you will have to be in order to do so. I will never, never think you weak for giving up a small piece of your power. I will see you as all the more powerful for it, do you understand?”

“Yes, My Lord,” she said quietly.

“Good. Then let us begin.” With that, Cardan returned his mouth to Jude’s breast, licking and sucking over the fabric of her dress as his hands inched the bottom upward, baring her upper thighs. He finally pulled back to remove her dress entirely and stayed hovering above her, gazing down at her near-naked form.

“Tell me what you think of your body, Jude.”

Jude blanched, and Cardan could see the panic in her eyes, wondered if he had gone too far. Then, though, she reminded herself of his prior words - that this was strength, power, not weakness and defeat.

“I think it is strong, and serves its purpose, but is out of place among those of the faeries. You are all so... well, thin, and I am not. I have always wished to look as you do, despite knowing I never can.”

Cardan nodded, having suspected exactly this response.

“And would you like to know what I think of your body, Jude?”

“Yes, My Lord.”

“I think your body far surpasses the beauty of that of any faerie I have ever seen. I think there is nothing more attractive to me than your muscles and flesh. I think that the more of you there is for me to touch,” and he touched her, “kiss,” and he kissed her, “and caress the more I will be satisfied. And I think that your body gives you life, and that is the most beautiful thing of all. After the undersea, when you had so little flesh on your bones, I was terrified. I would never want to see you like that again. I am grateful for every day that you have enough to eat, and I count myself lucky to share the bed of someone strong enough to snap my body in a heartbeat.”

Jude laughed at this. “I meant what I said, though. I wouldn’t kill you.”

Cardan put his hand over his chest and said with mock sincerity, “and you have no idea what that means to me,” but they both knew it was far from sarcasm.

“Thank you,” Jude said softly, “my lord, for what you said.”

“I speak only the truth, unlike some,” he replied, touching her face lightly. “Anyway, Jude, would you like me to return to the task at hand?”

“Very much so — my lord.” He heard her stumble, forget herself for a moment, and resolved to push her deeper into the headspace she so desperately needed to enter.

He started by kissing his way down her stomach, running his tongue along the bones of her hips, the line of her pelvis. He nipped the skin of her inner thigh gently, causing her to yelp, and grinned against her.

Finally — finally — he attended to her burning need, pulling her remaining underwear down her legs and situating himself between them. He heard her give a sharp intake of breath as she realized what he was going to do, as she did every time they did this, and smiled once more at the familiarity of the situation.

With one hand, Cardan spread Jude before him, as he pressed his tongue against her folds.

“Spread your legs for me, Jude, dear,” he muttered against her, and she squirmed even as she did as he asked. Demanded.

When she had obeyed, he resumed his actions in earnest, licking and sucking with vigor, trying to bring her to the edge as quickly as possible. He entered her with two fingers so suddenly that she gasped in surprise, and he pulled back to grin up at her and gaze at her flushed cheeks and half-closed eyes.

“Your nipples. Touch them,” he commanded, and she did as instructed, pulling and rolling them between her fingers, moaning lightly at the sensation and more loudly as he curled his fingers inside her, still watching.

“You are stunning,” he said simply, before resuming the work of his mouth against her. He flicked her clit with his tongue, slowly at first, but increased speed with his tongue and fingers until she was on the edge, crying out that she was about to go over it.

He stopped all motions, pulled back, and said, “hands at your sides.”

“I thought this was a reward,” she said, anger flashing in her eyes even as she obeyed.

“It is,” he replied. “The reward is the fact that I’m touching you at all. And I don’t appreciate your attitude. Spread your legs.”

She had snapped them closed in the wake of his motions ceasing, but opened them again now. Cardan pushed them farther apart roughly.

“In the future, know that it is my right to stop touching you at any time, and that you have no leave to contest my decision. I won’t fully punish you now, because this is a first infraction, but I will give you a small reminder of your place.”

With those words, he slapped her directly on the junction between her legs, one of his many rings hitting her clit. While he congratulated himself on his excellent aim, Jude cried out in shock and pain.

“Car— My—“ she sputtered, trying to find something to say that wouldn’t provoke another slap. Cardan merely raised an eyebrow, waiting for her decision.

She stayed silent, biting her lip against the desire to protest and the residual stinging between her legs.

Cardan looked down at her. “Next time, your punishment will not be so easy to bear. And before I forget, there is a rule I want to set for the future- you ask me, rather than tell me, when you are close to orgasm. Do you understand?”

Jude closed her eyes briefly before responding. “Yes, My Lord.”

Cardan could see the struggle in Jude, sense the way she worked to control the impulse to resist him, and found himself impossibly proud.

He lay down beside her and began steadily stroking a finger in circles around her clit, so slowly that there was no risk of her coming from the stimulation. Jude bit her lip and moaned.

“Normally, at a time like this, I would be waiting for you to beg,” Cardan said conversationally, as if discussing the weather in Elfhame. “But, as circumstance has it, begging will do nothing for you here. I plan to let you come—“ with those words, Jude’s wide eyes shot to his, but he continued with a small smile “but not for some time.”

Jude’s face fell, but lacked the spark of anger it had earlier held. Good. That meant she was beginning to accept that she had no choice but to allow Cardan to do what he would with her pleasure.

He continued his gentle ministrations on her clit, listening for small moans and breathy sighs as she wished for more stimulation, for several minutes. Then, without warning, he rose.

“Get dressed,” he ordered.

“Why?” she asked, even as she stood from the bed.

Cardan raised an eyebrow by way of answer, and Jude paled.

“I will, My Lord.”

Cardan knew that Jude was likely still allowing this sort of behavior from herself by rationalizing that it was only for the night, but it still pleased him to see signs of her growing obedience.

Jude had dresses in one of the many closets contained by Cardan’s chambers, for those times when hers became rumpled and dirty and she didn’t want anyone to know what she had been doing or with whom. She pulled one on now, not bothering to search for a bra, knowing Cardan would likely stop her anyway. She did, however, pick her underwear back up from where Cardan had carelessly discarded it earlier, but he tsked and plucked it from her hands.

“Not tonight,” he said decisively, and she had no choice but to obey.

When she was dressed and had smoothed down her hair enough to be presentable to... wherever it was they were going, Cardan led Jude from the chambers and into the halls of the palace. When they reached the throne room, a horrible thought occurred to Jude. Surely, surely, Cardan didn’t expect her to spend hours on the throne as she usually did at night, watching revelers and hearing complaints from the citizens of Elfhame. Surely he wouldn’t be so cruel, when she could still feel the wetness between her thighs and knew her clit remained as swollen as ever.

But he was so cruel, and in they went to settle on the twin thrones, side by side, perhaps an inch of space between the two seats.

“Bring a table,” he ordered loudly to the room, “with a cloth.”

Cardan was quickly obeyed, and a table was set before their thrones on the dais, covered in a white cloth that reached to the floor. To Jude’s shock, Cardan actually thanked the faeries that delivered the table. He was clearly on his best behavior in an attempt to convince her that this was a worthy arrangement.

Jude had no idea why Cardan would request a table when, again to her shock, he did not appear to be drinking. His reason soon became apparent, though, as his hand slipped across the space between their thrones and under her dress once more, blocked from the sight of the room’s revelers by the cloth on the table.

She realized at that moment that Cardan planned to keep her on the edge of orgasm for the entire duration of their time in the throne room, and closed her eyes as a flush began to rise on her face.

“My lord,” she said, too quietly for anyone but Cardan to hear her. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“You can,” he responded, “because I know your limits, and because I am telling you that you can, and because you want to please me.”

Jude was surprised to find that she did, indeed want to please him.

“My lord,” she started again, “you aren’t drinking. I was just wondering why.”

Cardan’s face grew serious. “As greatly as it pains me to go a night sober, I don’t believe in engaging in this sort of... activity while intoxicated. One of my main responsibilities is to ensure that I can read you well enough to know your limits, and I can’t easily do so with an alcohol addled mind.”

Jude nodded, touched and realizing for the first time that Cardan’s role in this was as difficult, if not more so, as hers.

“So, in the hypothetical and far from plausible situation that we made this arrangement permanent...”

“I would still drink on occasion, but any rewards, punishments, commands, or otherwise would wait until my sobriety.”

Jude found herself slightly disappointed. She wouldn’t admit it to him, but she worried about his drinking, about the fact that his drunken state seemed the only time he even bordered on happiness. Not that she did much to help with the misery he experienced in life.

All thoughts shattered in Jude’s mind as Cardan brought her nearly over the edge once more.

“My Lord, can I-“

He pulled away.

Had they not been in the middle of a room full of faeries, Jude might have cried out in frustration.

They passed the next hour in silence, Cardan bringing Jude to the edge again every time she got far enough from it to be comfortable. She spent the hour in misery, near writhing in her seat from the arousal. She knew she would have a damp spot on the back of her dress when they finally left the throne room, and couldn’t bring herself to care. She couldn’t even care, in fact, that all of this was happening publicly, and that someone could rise too high on the dais and see what Cardan’s hand occupied itself with at any moment.

“Alright, Jude,” Cardan said loudly, finally taking pity on her. “Let us retire for the rest of the night.”

Jude sighed in relief and stood, following Cardan out of the throne room. When they reached his chambers, Jude had no time to react as Cardan pinned her to the wall, holding her wrists above her head.

“You’re mine, Jude,” he said, stroking her wrists with his thumbs. “I love having you as my own, to do what I will with. You have no idea how deliciously appealing you looked on the dais, sitting in your throne and letting me touch you like the slut you are quickly, beautifully becoming. Tell me - are you enjoying yourself?”

“No, My Lord.”

“Are you lying?”

“Yes, My Lord.”

Cardan smiled. “It’s not nice to lie, Jude.” He slapped her in the face, hard enough to sting and take her by surprise but softly enough not to leave a mark. Jude exclaimed in surprise.

Cardan knew he had taken a risk, that face slapping was something they had not discussed and something with which Jude might be wholly uncomfortable, but she said nothing, merely looked at the floor in guilt.

And she did feel guilty — guilty for lying to him about her enjoyment in one last, desperate attempt to pretend this wasn’t exactly what she needed, that she couldn’t already feel a glimmer of the feeling Cardan had described, that she wasn’t close to total surrender.

“Look at me,” Cardan said softly.

Jude looked at him, biting her lip gently, willing him to forgive.

“There’s something important which I neglected to tell you.” He continued stroking her wrists in small, reassuring circles. “After I have punished you for whatever infraction you’ve committed, it’s over. I harbor no more negative feelings about it, and you have no more repentance to do unless I explicitly tell you otherwise. A punishment is an absolution.”

“Yes, My Lord,” Jude said, lifting her head in an attempt to push the conflict from her mind. “I will not lie again.” She meant the promise.

Cardan bowed his head. “Noted and appreciated,” he said, before looking up at her, sternly but with mischief on his face.

“Now. Get on your knees.”

Jude dropped to her knees immediately, growing more and more eager to please, and reached up to undo the buttons of his breeches.

“No,” he said, and stilled her hands. “Take off your dress.”

She obeyed, sliding it over her head eagerly and casting it aside, leaving herself naked before him once more.

Cardan cast his own shirt over his head and undid his breeches himself, much to Jude’s disappointment, before sliding off the remainder of his clothes.

“Start slowly, and using only your mouth.”

Jude obeyed, leaning forward to kiss her way up and down the length of him, pausing to give particular attention to the head before moving back down. Cardan braced a hand against the wall behind her.

“Lick me. Stay slow, but be thorough.”

Jude did as instructed once more, licking and gently sucking her way around his cock, over the head, pausing to swirl her tongue around his balls.

After several minutes, Cardan gave his next order.

“Pull as much of me as you can into your mouth. You may use your hands now, and do go a bit more quickly.”

Jude smiled, hearing the effect she had on him in his voice, and proceeded to do as told, sucking him into her mouth and blowing him in earnest.

Cardan’s sounds were like a reward, as they always were on the rare occasions that she did this, and she smiled as she worked on him, desperately wanting to bring him over the edge, desperately wanting to please.

“Jude,” he groaned, “yes, yes, like that.”

Quickly, Cardan went over the edge, spilling come into Jude’s mouth which she swallowed diligently before wiping her face with her hand. She smiled up at him when she finished, a mixture of sweetness and wicked pleasure on her face.

“Evil, talented girl,” was all he said before pulling her to her feet and pushing her across the room, onto the bed. “It’s my turn now.”

Jude did not point out that Cardan had, in fact, taken many turns already, merely lay on her back awaiting him. When he arrived, he quickly got back to the task at hand, spreading her legs and using his tongue to work her clit, alternating speeds to keep her from coming to the edge too quickly.

Still— after hours of torment, it was a matter of moments before she was at the edge, legs trembling hard beneath Cardan’s hands.

“May I come, My Lord, may I come?” she pleaded, close to begging, desperation evident in her voice.

“Yes,” he paused just long enough to say before resuming his ministrations.

He didn’t stop, nor even slow down, as she came, crying out and tangling her hands in his hair, chanting his name and “my lord” and “god, god, god” intermittently. Nor did he slow down when she came a second time, writhing beneath him. By the time she neared a third orgasm without a break, Jude had tears of pleasure and overstimulation in her eyes and was pleading with Cardan alternately to stop and keep going. He chose to continue, and she came four times before Cardan finally slowed to a stop and pulled back to look at her.

Cardan moved to the top of the bed and pulled Jude into his arms, head resting on his chest. She let out a slight whimper of protest, a part of her uncomfortable with this level of intimacy, but was too spent and needed to be held too badly to resist.

“Are you in a space where you can listen to me, my darling Jude?” Cardan asked, so heartbreakingly gentle in voice and touch that she felt as though her chest was cracking.

“Mm hmm,” she said in assent.

“Another important thing to remember about what we’re doing is that you must allow me to care for you. This is undeniably important. This sort of... play, if we might call it that, can only happen with the knowledge that I will care for you afterward. You cannot protest when I pull you into my arms after whatever we’ve been doing, whether punishment or pleasure. You cannot prevent me from tending to any injuries I may have caused or ensuring your safety, health, and wellbeing. If it is my responsibility to correct you, and to keep safely your power, then it is also my responsibility to care for you, and I take it quite seriously. Do you understand?”

“Yes, My Lord, I understand,” Jude tried to say, but it came out more like “hmmlord derstand.”

Cardan smiled tenderly down at Jude, and knew in that moment that he was much farther gone than he had ever suspected when it came to his feelings for the woman he held.

Jude, for her part, was terrified. Since her return from exile, she had never allowed herself this kind of intimacy with Cardan, and she was shocked by how desperately she desired it. She was mentally and bodily exhausted and wanted nothing more than to fall asleep in his arms, but her mind would not allow her that, setting off all the warning bells of the danger she could be getting herself into by allowing this, and with him.

But she had promised to be honest, and knew that he would consider keeping her thoughts a secret when they needed to be shared a lie of omission, so she spoke.

“I’m afraid,” she said.

“I know,” he replied, and for a moment they were silent. “I don’t want to put pressure on you, but if you’ll give me the time to do this right, I’ll prove to you that you have nothing to be afraid of.”

Jude opened her eyes. “I want to,” she whispered, as though saying something shameful. “I don’t want this to end, but I don’t know if I can do it.”

“I do. I know.”

“Where did this resounding faith in my strength come from?” Jude’s words were teasing, but her sentiment was genuine.

“I’ve had it for a long time, I think. Since I’ve known you. I was cruel to you in part because it was easier than acknowledging my feelings and in part because I saw strength in you where in myself there was only weakness, and I hated you for that.”

For reasons Jude could not understand, the reminder that Cardan had ever hated her nearly brought tears to her eyes at this moment, but she remained silent as he continued.

“I now see that hating you for your strength was the solution of a child. You have my apologies and my regret.”

They both were silent, unspoken emotion crackling between them, for several minutes.

“Why can’t this be easy?” Jude said at last.

“It’s not too late,” Cardan whispered, and kissed the top of Jude’s head, the mortal curve of her ear, the tip of her nose. “Jude, admit that you need this.”

“I do, but that doesn’t mean I get to have it when it feels like giving up all that I’ve worked for.”

Cardan closed his eyes in frustration. “You’re giving up nothing, Jude! You would only be gaining a new form of freedom. You lose nothing by surrendering.”

“I lose the war between us.”

“What war!” Cardan exclaimed, raking his hands through his hair. “The war of children? The war of two people who have been horrible to each other and now have a chance to be good? There is no war for me, Jude - not any more.”

Jude was choking back tears now, impossibly distressed at having gone from the sweetness of a few moments ago to the harsh reality of their situation and of Cardan’s frustration with her.

“I’m sorry,” she started, but then Cardan was there and he was holding her again and comforting her and kissing her temples and oh god, Jude had never been so overwhelmed by emotion and sensation and desire.

“No, Jude, do not apologize. It was my responsibility to keep myself calm after putting you into that emotional place and I failed. The responsibility is mine, and I am truly sorry.”

Jude didn’t cry, not any more, but she came close now, squeezed her eyes shut to hold back the tears, and finally, finally assented.

“I don’t know what I can commit to, and I don’t know that I won’t back out at any moment, because I’m terribly, terribly afraid. What I do know is that I want this, and I’m willing to try.”

“That’s more than I expected from you, Jude,” and she could hear the grateful tone behind his words.

“We can try it all the time, if you still want to.” The words came out of Jude in a rush of nervousness, and Cardan took her trembling hands in his own.

“I would love to, Jude. Go get the paper and pen from earlier.”

“Yes, My Lord,” she said, already relieved to be back to this, showing her just how badly she did need this arrangement.

She returned with the paper, which Cardan quickly signed at the bottom.

“Sign this when you’re truly ready to begin,” he said. “I won’t rush you. You can take all the time you—“

With decisiveness, Jude signed the document.

[mywrittingwonderland]

Row 11, seat 14 (Connor x Y/n)

Tori's (@shawnpetermuffins​) request on ConWhore Group :) Hope I fulfilled it okay ❤️

The last Blurb for now guys, we will have more soon, but I will focus on my OCs for a while :)

Word Count: 1,424

# Blurb week 1

- - - - - -

"What do you mean Blair, it says Row 11, seat 13 and 12 right here?" Y/n said, trying to reason with her friend. She was the fan that, not that Y/n wasn't. Can someone possibly dislike John Mayer? No. But Blair was The fan, she had all the Merch, all the CDs, and she followed every path of her idol. For Y/n that was a little crazy, but she couldn't complain, Blair liked some company in the concerts, Y/n got free tickets bought by her friend all the time. So amazing.

"Y/n, I understand that. But since we are late. We could just stay here. This place is so much better. Look," She pointed to the stage. The concert would start in 2 minutes, and they had just arrived missing the opening act. It was all Blair's fault, she keeps a long time finding the right Merch Shirt she should use.

"But B, this is not gonna work out. I mean, we are not the only people late to this. The concert is sold out." Y/n said, trying to reason with her friend.

"At this point, I don't care, I am staying here." Y/n laughed at that, then noticing her friend was telling the truth. "Come on, stop being the right Girl all the time, nothing will go wrong Little Y/n" Y/n sighed and just sit beside Blair writing for the concert to start.

It ended up being 15 minutes waiting, the concert was also late. When the first accords of the first song started to play, 2 girls stopped right in front Blair and Y/n.

"Those are our places," Y/n nodded and stand up, but Blair refused to do the same.

"Blair, we have to go. Now." Y/n said, more like screaming because everyone was at that point.

"But, y/n. They are late. It is not my fault," Blair said and pouted.

"Come on B, they will call security if we don't leave. Then you won't get to see him at all." She reasoned.

"Fine, let's find our seats," Blair said, finally waking up, but not before giving a death threat with her eyes to the two late girls.

They went up 3 more roles finally finding row 11, and it was not that bad. It even gave them a better view.

"Blair, I am never coming with you to one of those again, I swear to God…" Y/n started, but before she could finish, she was pushed so strongly by someone because she was obstructing the person's view that she ended up falling in a guys lap. "Oh my God, I am so, so sorry."

"It's okay, are you hurt?" The mysterious guy asked, checking on her. She made the mistake of looking at him before answering, and suddenly she got lost in his blue eyes. She kept staring at him until he asked her again. "It's something wrong? Did you hurt yourself?" She then shook her head no and got up, sliding into her proper seat. She looked from the side of her eyes to Blair, and she had a smirk on her face, but Y/n chose to ignore that.

"I am okay, thank you…"

"Connor," He said, extending his hand for her.

"Thank you, Connor, Y/n" She answered, extending her hand back to a weird handshake as they were both sit side by side. She noticed the guy had a camera around his neck, not any camera but a film camera, which supposed to be the same camera model she had been saving for months to buy.

"It's that a Lomography Lubitel 166+ ?" She asked, biting her lips.

"Yes!" Connor answered with a surprised tone. Not many people knew how to recognize old film camera models just by looking at it.

"I've been dying to buy one of those," She said, making him smile. She was pretty he thought, but then he shared his head trying to tell himself he shouldn't be having these thoughts for someone that just literally tripped on him.

"You should, it's amazing. Especially because of the…"

"4.5 triplet lens" She completed and blushed a little. "Sorry" She apologized for interrupting him.

"It's okay, it is not common to find people that know film cameras that well." He said they both completely ignoring the concert at that point. If it wasn't for everyone screaming around them, they could possibly just forget where they were.

"I know I double major in cinema and photography." She explained, and he nodded. "I know, a crazy girl that is doing 2 colleges with no prospects of getting money in the future," She said, making him laugh.

"I didn't think that at all. I work in photography. I major in physicology." He said, and she frowned confused. "I know, the undecided guy that goes to two completely different things," He said, making her laugh this time.

"I didn't think that at all," She said, repeating what he had said and making him blush. "I get it, it's amazing to understand how feelings work, and how sometimes a picture can show each and every feeling someone has hidden inside, and I guess if you study how people feel you can also see how they were feeling in your pictures." He nodded, surprised she really did understand.

"Not everyone gets it," He said, and she nodded.

"Not everyone gets my choice either," She said, turning back her attention to the John Mayer in the stage when Blair shook her arm.

"Isn't he the best?" She asked, making Y/n laugh and agree. "Don't think I didn't see you and the blondie talking. He is cute," Blair said without moving her mouth and still looking at the stage.

"B, I don't even know him!" Y/n said quietly in her friend's ear.

"Y/n, you didn't really know me when we met and look at us best friends now. My friend you have lots to learn about the flirting business" Blair said, making Y/n blush. She tried to focus on the concert, but she could feel his eyes burning her skin from time to time.

"I think my old Bro is growing up," Dylan said after seeing the interaction between Y/n and Connor.

"Shut up," Connor said, making his brother laugh.

"I am not shutting up, ask her number," He said, making Connor widen his eyes and shake his head. "Why not?"

"I don't even know her?" He said as if it was obvious.

"Connor, you should be the one teaching me that stuff not the other way around," Dylan said, and Connor looked at him confused. "Old Brother, that is how you get to know her. By going out with her. And let's be honest you did like her." Connor could have answered his brother, but instead, he looked at Y/n again and bitted his lip when she laughed at something her friend was saying. He whispered at the sound, not knowing exactly if it was John Mayers song messing up his heart or the sound of the girl laughing. He then closed his eyes and whispered before coming back to his brother. Dylan simply laughed at that and shook his head as for silent saying I already told you what to do.

Connor tried to ignore his heart, beating a little faster by seeing Y/n having fun singing and dancing with the concert. He also tried to ignore his hands sweating. But at some point, he couldn't, mainly because he was probably looking non-stop to the girl for the last 15 minutes. And he was sure she had noticed him because her cheeks were red, and she was so damn cute with her cheeks red Connor though and then closed his eyes for a second, debating what he should do next. He took a deep breath before turning back to Y/n again and calling her name.

"Y/n?" He nervously bit his lower lip.

"Yes?" She looked back at him.

"Do you want to hang out after the show? We could grab dinner…" He said, feeling stupid for suggesting dinner, dinner was maybe too formal. And again they didn't know each other. "I mean, not dinner, we could just walk and talk about pictures?" He nervously suggested and then closed his eyes for 5 seconds at how stupid he was again. "Or we could just…" he stopped when he heard her chuckle.

"I would love to go do something afterward."

- - - - - - - Connor Brashier Taglist: @tinycertain

General Taglist: @arypesanchez 

[lovemesomesurveys]

Ready to answer 151 Questions? 1. When was the last time you swam in a pool? Like 6/7 years ago. 2. Do you like to party? My idea of a party is a small get together with friends just chillin’ with food and music. Maybe play some boardgames. Just super laid back. Crazy party scenes with a shitload of people I don’t even know is not my thing at all. That all being said, I haven’t been to a party in like 3 years. 3. If your ex suddenly kissed you right now, what would you do? I can’t even imagine a scenario where that would happen now. We haven’t talked or seen each other in almost 5 years. For that to happen, that would mean we were talking and hanging out again and yeah, don’t see that happening. Plus, SO much has changed for the both of us. Our ship sailed a longggg time ago. 4. Are you a virgin? Yes. 5. What are your parents views on your relationships? Ty and I never dated, but my parents really liked him. My mom definitely thought something was going on and she was rooting for us, ha. 

6. If you ran into your current boyfriend/crush in 10 years, would you marry them? I don’t have a boyfriend or a crush right now. But also, I wouldn’t just marry someone I bumped into 10 years later. Like, a LOT would have changed in that amount of time. Just because I dated or was interested in someone doesn’t mean things would be the same seeing each other that many years later. Would the feelings come back? Would we still vibe? What are we doing in our life at that time? Are we both single? 7. Is your best friend dating anyone?  My mom has been with my dad for over 30 years. 8. Describe the shirt you’re wearing? It’s a tie-shirt with pastel colors.  9. Do people who wear Hollister and Abrerbrombie every day bother you? I really don’t care. 10. Could you go out in public without wearing make-up? I’ve been doing that for the past few years. To think that there was a time I would have never done that... 11. What is one feature that you don’t like? On me? I mean, everything, but my smile/teeth for one. 12. Would people describe you as happy? No. 13. Are you single? Yep. 14. Does it bother you that pretty much every survey you take asks if you’re single? Yes or questions about relationships. 15. Do you have Tumblr? Duhhh.

16. What about Xanga? Aww, RIP Xanga.  17. Have you ever babysat before? Yeah, my younger brother and a couple of my cousins when they were kids.  18. Is there a teacher who you absolutely hate?  I had two awful math professors in community college. Like, they were horrible. 19. Ever shopped at Sephora? Yeah. 20. If your current boyfriend/crush suddenly moved away, what would you do?  21. Do you have any university plans? I graduated with my BA five years ago. I’m not going any further. 22. If your best friend revealed she was a homosexual, what would you do? I mean, it would definitely come as a huge shock if my mom came out now. Of course it wouldn’t change anything between us, but things would be different for awhile. Like, it would take time to get used to a new normal, one where she’s not with my dad who she’s been with for over 30 years and one where she’s with a woman.  23. What are your views on sex? Be safe. If you’re an adult and it’s consensual then I don’t see an issue. 24. Do sexual questions bother you?  No. I just don’t have much to say on the matter. 25. Would you rather have sex with your boyfriend or break up? Wth. 26. Have you ever dreamed about your wedding?  Nope. 27. Does it bother you when people TYpe 1yk dis’?  Omg. I’m so glad I don’t see that anymore. That seemed to die when Myspace did. 28. Do you delete pictures of you and your exes off of Facebook? There’s still photos of Joseph and I. *shrug* 29. Would you ever date a friends Ex? No. 30. What’s the last book you read?  The Girl and the Hunt by AJ Rivers. 31. Ready for 10 simple questions? Sure. 32. What is your last name?  Stephanie. 33. What grade are you in? I graduated college 5 years ago, I’m done. 34. What school do you go to? 35. Summer, Fall, Winter or Spring? Fall and winter. 36. Favorite Color? Pastels, rose gold, yellow, coral, mint green. 37. Are your parents together? Yes. 38. Any siblings?  I have two brothers. 39. Favorite subject?  Psychology.

40. Least favorite subject?  Math. 41. Favorite song? I could never just choose one. 42. Okay. Simple questions are over. Happy?  I don’t care. 43. How many friends do you have on Facebook?  150ish. 44. Ever been requested by some old guy from another country? They weren’t old, but yeah I’ve had several requests from men from other countries.  45. Have you ever googled yourself? Yeah. 46. Have a Formspring? I used to. I suppose it still exists out there since I never deleted it. I haven’t been on there in several years, though. 47. You’re offered free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert. What do you do? Probably decline the offer. I actually do like both his current and previous album, but I don’t know if I’d want to go to his concert. *shrug* I also don’t know anyone who would go with me and I wouldn’t go alone. 48. Would you rather spend the day at an amusement park or a water park? Amusement park. I don’t do water slides and whatnot.  49. Been to Disney world?  Nope, but I’d love to go. I’ve been to Disneyland several times, though. 50. If someone posts their status “9 Inches :(” do you know what they mean? Sounds like one of those things where people post a random status from a list of things that will likely get people’s attention and whoever comments on it is privately sent said list of thing and they then choose something to post as their status and so on. That was a popular game thing on Facebook years ago. 51. Ever had a boyfriend?  Yes.

52. Ever had a huge crush on someone who still doesn’t know? I’ve had crushes on guys who never knew, but the really serious ones (there were 5) all knew. 53. Have you done something in the last week that you regret?  Yes. 54. Ever drank alcohol?  Yeah. I drank in my early 20s until I was 24. 55. Know anyone who’s currently doing drugs? Yeah. 56. Ever watched The Hills?  Yeah, the OG one and the reboot that came out last year. 57. What about Jersey Shore? No, I never got into that one. 58. Ever called someone a slut?  I’ve said that jokingly to friends. 59. What do you think of short shorts? I don’t wear them. Or any length of shorts.  60. Does it bother you if people swear around you? No. I think it’s funny because my dad is still weird about cussing in front of me and so is our family friend. She always apologizes to me if she does it.  61. Have you ever gotten an A in a subject? I mostly got A’s and B’s throughout school with some C’s because of stupid math. 62. What about a B?  ^^^ 63. And a C? ^^^ 64. How about a D? No. 65. Ever skived? What’s that? 66. Would you consider yourself popular and outcast or somewhere in the middle? I’d say I was the outcast. I mean, I had some friends, but I really just didn’t stand out or fit in.  67. Are most of your friends older or younger than you? My friends were my age or a year younger. Ty was the only one who was older than me (just by a year). 68. Ever been stabbed in the back by a close friend? Yes. 69. Do you think it’s immature when people laugh at the number 69? I have my immature moments, too. That one doesn’t do it for me, though.  70. Ever watched porn? I’ve seen it, but it wasn’t for my viewing pleasure or anything. I just personally don’t get the appeal. 71. How many laws do you think you’ve broken in the past month?  I don’t think I’ve broken any. I don’t do anything or go anywhere, ha. 72. Do you wake up with an alarm clock? Yeah. I’d sleep later than 3PM if I didn’t and I don’t know, for some reason I don’t want to. Not like I have anything better to do, but *shrug* 73. Do you prefer Wednesdays or Thursdays? Makes no difference to me. 74. If your school had a Glee Club would you join?  No. I can’t sing. I’m surprised I did choir for a few years in elementary school. 75. Ever performed in a talent show? My 2nd grade class did. We did “This Little Light of Mine” with a few very simple hand movements that went along with it. 76. Have you ever cried in public? Yeah. For the most part it’s only been at funerals and doctor appointments, but there have been a few other times in public where I felt the tears coming and tried to fight them back, but they started coming out anyway. I’m definitely someone who doesn’t like to cry in front of other people, so when it happens then you know it’s bad. 77. Do you have a favorite between your Mom and your Dad? I love both of my parents, but my mom and I have a closer relationship. She’s my best friend. I truly don’t know what I’d do without her. 78. Would you audition for a reality talent competition? Nooo. I have zero talent. 79. How many celebrity crushes have you had?  A lot. 80. How many non-celebrity crushes have you had?  A lot. 81. Name 5 male celebrities who you think are attractive. Alexander Skarsgard, Henry Cavill, Chris Evans, Matt Bomer, and Chris Pratt.  82. Name 5 female celebrities who you think are attractive. Margot Robbie, Jennifer Lopez, Ariana Grande, Hailey Baldwin, and Natalie Portman.  83. Ever been compared to a celebrity?  Ha, no. 84. Have any embarrassing pictures on Facebook? If someone uploads a photo of me that I don’t approve of it gets deleted asap. 85. Do you think spending £20 on Lip Gloss is a waste of money?  That’s too much to me.  86. Are you opinionated?  I do have my opinions I feel strongly about, but I also consider myself to be openminded. I’m open to hearing different sides of things. I want to. And it’s certainly possible for my opinion to change.  87. Do you have a favorite store? BoxLunch, Hot Topic, Kohl’s, Target, and Bath & Body Works. 88. Would you ever wear Flare Jeans? No. 89. Do you own jeans that aren’t skinny? Nope. 90. Have you ever worn the same outfit twice in one week?  Yeah. *gasp* Call the fashion police! 91. What’s the longest period of time you’ve been away from school?  Well, I graduated college 5 years ago if that counts. But if you mean like while I was still going to school, then a few months. I had to miss school 3 times for a few months because I had to have surgery. One of the times was when I was supposed to start UC, but ended up having to start the following semester instead. 92. Do you google abbreviations you don’t understand? Yeah. 93. Does it bother you when people have cats as their profile picture? I don’t care? 94. Own a pair of converse?  Yes. 95. Is there a teacher at your school who has obvious favorites? 96. If yes, are you one of them?  97. Do you text in class?  I never did that. I was a goody-goody lol.  98. What brand of jeans do you wear the most? I haven’t worn jeans at all in like 3 years, ha, but anyway most of my jeans are the Arizona brand from JCP. They’re the perfect fit for me and they’re reasonably priced. 99. At what point do you think sizes are “Plus Sized?” According to Google, it starts at size 16. 100. Do you want to lose weight?  Nooo. I’m too underweight as it is. I need to gain weight. 101. Ever seen a therapist?  No, but I should. 102. Ever watched porn?  Yeah, I’ve seen some of it. I didn’t watch out of enjoyment, though. I don’t get the appeal, personally. 103. Ever purposely ignored a text?  Yes. 104. A facebook message?  Yes. 105. A poke? I always ignored those. That was a dumb feature Facebook had. 106. A friend request?  Yeah. I don’t accept a request from anyone I don’t know. 107. Would you say you read into things too much?  Yepppp.  108. Is your best friend more likely to be the one suggesting something stupid or refusing to do something stupid? Refusing. 109. Do you have a “fun friend?” (A friend who you have tons of fun with but you never really have deep conversations?)  No.  110. Ever been called a bully?  No. 111. Ever purposely hurt yourself?  Yes. 112. Ever gone to church? Yes. I used to go sometimes with both sets of grandparents when I was a kid. They were of different religions, so that began my complicated and non-existent relationship with religion. That changed a few years ago, though, and now I’m a Christian. For over a year I’ve only been listening to the audio version a local church uploaded to their website every Sunday until they started uploading video earlier this year. The past few months they’ve been doing live streams because of the quarantine/lockdown, but they’ll be continuing that going forward for those like me who aren’t able to physically attend. I plan to when I’m able, though. 113. Would you call either of your parents screw ups? Absolutely not! 114. If you turned out exactly like your mom would you be pleased? Yes. 115. What do you want to do with your life? I don’t know. That’s the problem. 

116. Let me guess… You have brown hair? Naturally, yes, but not currently. 117. Already know what you’re being for Halloween? I don’t dress up or do anything for Halloween anymore. The past few years I’ve just stayed home and watched scary movies. I do for the whole month of October, though. 118. Do you still go Trick or Treating? Uh, no. I’m going to be 31 years old this year. 119. Ever liked someone WAY older than you? Celebrities, but not anyone “in real life.” 120. Does it bother you when people have really loud conversations on the bus?  It didn’t really bother me back when I had to take the bus sometimes in college. 121. When you have sunglasses on, do you stare at people?  I don’t wear sunglasses. Also, staring is rude. I’ve had to deal with people staring at me, mostly kids, all my life. Not cool. 122. Ever had a credit card denied? No. 123. What’s the last movie you watched?  Parts of James and the Giant Peach yesterday. 124. Last TV Show?  The Golden Girls. 125. You see your Ex making out with one of your friends. What do you do? I don’t have any friends, but I imagine I wouldn’t like seeing that. 126. Ever been called a whore?  Jokingly. 127. Are you american?  Yes. 128. Ever made yourself throw up? No.  129. Have you ever kissed someone who wasn’t your boyfriend?  Yes. Joseph and I did that for the entire time of whatever it was we had going on.  130. Are you Cute or Gross?  I’m trash. 131. Does it bother you when people say “LOOK HOW MUCH YOU’VE GROWN!”? No one has said that to me in a very long time. I don’t recall being bothered by it, though. 132. Can you say intelligent things around the guy you like?  I don’t like anyone, currently.  133. Ever had the lead in a play?  Nope. Never tried out for a play either. 134. What about a solo in a concert?  Ha, no. I was in choir in elementary school for a few years, but there definitely weren’t any solo parts for me.  135. What kind of a student are you? I did well. 136. Worst subject?  It was always math. 137. Best subject? English. 138. Ever had a crush on a teacher? No. 139. Would it bother you if you found out that your mother was pregnant?  She had a hysterectomy several years ago. 140. How late do you sleep in?  Until like 230 or 3ish. 141. Do you edit your profile pictures before posting them?  I use a filter.  142. Be 100% honest. Do you have any friends who are uglier than you? I was the ugly friend. 143. Do you believe in love? Well, yeah. It exists. I just feel like I’ll never experience romantic love. I’ve been in love twice, but both times were unrequited. I can’t imagine finding love in return and someone who actually wants to be with me.  144. Would you consider yourself a good student?  Didn’t you ask this? 145. Does it bother you when Surveys ask “Did you like this survey?”  It just seems kinda pointless cause they likely won’t see it.  146. Salty, Sweet, Sour or Spicy?  Salty and sweet. I would have said spicy back in the day, but I can’t eat spicy food anymore. Haven’t been able to for the past few years. D: 147. Are you going into High School this year?  Nooooo. Thank goodness. I did my time and graduated over 10 years ago. 148. What about Junior High? Omg, no. I’m old. 149. What is one thing someone could say to you right now that would make you cry?  Let’s not try and make me cry. It’s almost 7AM, I should be asleep. 150. Where did you find this note? LiveJournal.  151. Last question. How many unread messages are in your phone?  I don’t leave any unread text messages. 

[thessalian]

Thess vs Lockdown

So apparently, the US has some real dipshits (granted, a vocal minority of dipshits, but a vocal minority of dipshits with guns in some really disturbing cases) protesting to get everything reopened way sooner than it probably should be, because The Economy. The UK is taking a slightly different view on this: we are strongly against ending the lockdown too soon ... but only, it appears, in some cases.

Oh, we don’t want concert venues, restaurants, pubs, local parks, cinemas, or even schools to open yet. 75-80+% of people do not want these things to open yet.

Businesses and particularly shops, on the other hand... The numbers are pretty damn different. There’s still a majority of people who want the lockdown to continue in those cases, but it’s not as large a majority with business and it’s almost 50/50 in terms of shops. So they won’t send their kids to school, a fair few of them don’t want to go back to work, but way too many are perfectly happy sharing the really small amount of space in most British shops just so they can ... you know, I don’t even know. Clothes shopping, maybe? Maybe it’s just that there’s a large number of people who won’t or can’t buy online for some reason. Or I guess it could be that for people who can only get everything they need by shopping at our equivalent of the Dollar Store, the idea of paying more for needful things and then adding shipping on top of that is too much.

I guess what I’m saying is that if you’re in the US and really frustrated about the selfishness of the people protesting for their right to catch COVID-19 or spread it around just so that they can get their hair done or whatever, at least don’t feel like you’re alone. There are people in this country who are just as selfish. They just don’t protest with firearms (can’t, in fact, because we have serious gun control in this country). Plus I guess since they all know that congregating in big knots around government buildings is a risk akin to venues, which they don’t want to open because, hey, risk with no reward.

Look, for me, it’s my glasses. I got new glasses (*pause for thought*) five years or so ago now. I realised I needed my prescription checked in August 2019. It is now May 2020, and I am still wearing the same glasses, and I should not be, and I have now solidly reminded my mother that she promised to take me to get my prescription looked at again almost a year ago, but we can’t go to the optician because of the lockdown. I am constantly in some stage of headache (I’ve been having one of those nausea-laden migraines for the past couple of days now, exacerbated by sinus issues caused by hayfever and an incoming storm front) and I know damn well that new glasses would at least provide some help. Beyond the boredom and the worry and everything else, I’m actively physically suffering because of the lockdown depriving me of services I sorely need.

But I still don’t want it to end until we’re well past the peak.

Yeah, my head hurts and I am fed right the hell up with squinting at things. Yes, I want to be able to see properly. But I’m not going to demand my right to test whatever antibodies my body’s producing after my early brush with COVID-19, not to mention my right to needlessly spread it to others, for my personal comfort.

What I’m saying is that if I can handle being visually impaired at a time when I really want my eyesight working so I can do things to mitigate the boredom (for instance, I am trying to figure out knitting but I can’t see what I’m doing so it’s ending incredibly poorly every single time I try ... though really bad cheap-ass yarn isn’t helping), and when I am predisposed to be crippled with head pain at the slightest provocation ... people should be able to handle another month without a fucking haircut.

[lgcezra]

dated october 1st.

ezra is brought to the head manager’s office early in the morning, separated from the group before their dance practice. once inside, he can immediately see kim hyuncheol standing behind his desk with a very stern expression. “you may close the door behind you and sit down.” he says in surprisingly fluent english. he gestures towards a chair on the other side of the desk facing his own. “i gave my speech in korean last time, so let me speak to you in english to make sure you understand every single word i’m about to say.”

“i don’t know how you do things where you’re from and quite honestly, it doesn’t concern me. you signed a contract with a korean company, so you must follow our rules. you’ve barely spent three months here and yet show blatant disregard for both our trainees and staff members. there have been several reports of you being hungover on company grounds and picking a fight with cha nayeon in the middle of practice, which many found very distasteful. now, since we don’t have actual proof of you being hungover and since the fight with nayeon-ssi seems to be a one time thing, i’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. you better believe, however, that from now on and until our suspicions are cleared, we will watch you very, very closely.” does he understand the trouble he’s in yet? hyuncheol doubts it. mistakes are possible but with ezra they just seem to be piling up.

“which brings me to the main event. i’m absolutely ashamed by the way you behaved during your pre-concert interview. i couldn’t believe my ears when i reviewed it with other managers. honestly, at this point, i wonder if you even want to be here. you could be the most talented of your batch and i couldn’t care any less if your personality doesn’t drastically improve. you treated our precious staff member with disrespect during your interview, not to mention our managers by suggesting they treat you with bias. this, young man, is a behavior we do not tolerate in this company. we wouldn’t have tolerated it from bae siwoo himself, so what have you accomplished so far in your life that makes you think you have the right to speak in that tone and treat this great opportunity as a joke? you’ve been here since july, ezra. if you think you’ve been treated unfairly by a staff member, you come to me. but i’d suggest you take a look at yourself before doing that, because you haven’t been very pleasant since your arrival. they’re not here to cater to your every whim.”

he takes a pause, gathering his thoughts and letting ezra take all of the information in. he might be harsh, but the more they let it pass and the more he feels entitled to act that way thinking there won’t be any repercussions.

“prove us that we didn’t make a mistake choosing you. it’s clear that we’ve seen something in you. but so far you’re not letting it show. if you’re going through hardships you need to let us know instead of acting up like this.” there’s no doubt a lot of anger and frustration in this young man, but if he keeps it to himself there’s just so much any of them can do about it.

“now on to your punishment, because i don’t have all day.” he hands ezra a calendar for the month of october. “that is your new schedule for this month. as you can see, you will not be joining regular practice with the other trainees. i believe you aren’t worthy of that privilege at the moment. because yes, it is a privilege whethere you treat your presence here as one or not. i’m not encouraging you to leave, ezra. in fact, i’d love for you to stay and grow. more precisely, grow up, as you mentioned you failed to do in your interview.” maybe ezra won’t believe him right now. maybe he will think they’re out to get him, that they want to kick him out. while they could have, hyuncheol doesn’t want to. he firmly believes in second chances, but it can only happen if ezra plays by the rules. “you will be on service duty instead of training. i hear you’ve been neglecting your mandatory chores, it’s a great opportunity for you to learn a lesson. it’s only natural that we clean up after ourselves. even idols still do it when they use practice rooms. it’s called having respect for your work environment and the maintenance staff who are not here to be your personal servants. you’re of course banned from appearing on the instagram account. we don’t reward bad behavior here at legacy.”

he explains the schedule in more details ( can be found in the ooc note below ), indicating in passage that ezra might receive phone calls or visits at random times during the day to ensure he is exactly where he is supposed to be . he is not to miss any day of duty or take part in any trainee activity or opportunity taking place during the month. “if you build our trust in you again, and take this punishment seriously, we will reassess your situation during the last week of october. this isn’t permanent, ezra, and we wouldn’t be doing this if we didn’t feel it’s necessary.”

once the discussion is over he goes to the door, opening it for ezra. “your future is up to you. if you truly want to be a part of this team, you know what you have to do. now go on, you have a lot to do.”

        of course, he’s in trouble.

        why wouldn’t he be, considering all the things he’s done?  things that hyuncheol has delightfully listed out to him, as if ezra’s been blissfully ignorant of his wrongdoings.

        no, he knows he’s done wrong.  he knows there were better ways to approach each and every situation, but what’s the point in trying if no one expects that out of him?

        he scoffs when hyuncheol brings up the interview.  purses his lips.  folds his arms across his chest as he stares blankly at the head manager.

        of course, hyuncheol is ashamed of his behavior.  how’s that any different from the shame his parents felt raising him to be prim and proper, a son they could be proud of, only to be repaid with a shredded degree, holes in walls, and an empty bed for weeks at a time?  

        truth is, there’s not much of a difference.

        he’s been called to the dinner table, to his father’s office, to his mother’s desk.  each time, they would ask him to close the door.  sit down.  and like hyuncheol, they would proceed to list everything he’s done wrong.  and every time he’d shift to the edge of his seat, his shoulders bent forward, lips parting to make his case—he’d be silenced.  forced to bite his tongue, forced to retreat back into the chair.  hyuncheol should thank his parents for disciplining him, for keeping him seated, small, submissive.

        ‘what have you accomplished so far in your life that makes you think you have the right to speak in that tone?’

        nothing.

        it doesn’t come from a place of arrogance, though he wishes it does.  no, it comes from accomplishing nothing.  he doesn’t have what his sisters have.  he doesn’t have their charisma, their perseverance, their familial connection.  they’re brilliant, successful, good.  and the stronger the light beams on them, raising them to that pedestal they deserve to be on, the farther into the shadow he seeps.

        his parents were thrilled to have a son—someone to carry on the family name—but he’s sure now that they’re thinking it’s better if the line ends with them.

        that doesn’t bother him.

        it’s old news.

        they don’t see anything in him anymore, and they’ve made that perfectly clear by keeping radio silent for the past few months.

        and now, here’s hyuncheol saying that they see something in him.  these are words that he has always wanted to hear—but they don’t sit right.  not in this tone, not in this context.

        the burden of proof is on him.  usually, it is.  and usually, he fucks it up.  sometimes they’re simple human mistakes, but these simple human mistakes end up weighing more ‘cause people have the tendency to look for the bad.  it’s what they’re used to seeing in him.  it’s comfortable, easier to process.

        so if they see him this way regardless, again, what’s the point?

        he peers down at the calendar presented before him.  chores.  punishment.  as if any of this is going to change the perception people have of him.

        “public humiliation seems to run in the company,”  he comments, remembering his first interaction with yang joshua.  "good thing i don’t have much shame.“

        he folds up the piece of paper, tucks it into his pocket, and rises to his feet.  as he approaches the door, his gaze levels with hyuncheol’s own.

        ”see you on friday,“  he says, this time in korean.

===

OOC NOTE:

ezra has been put on probation for the month of october. the reasons are stated in the prompt but if you have any question regarding any part of this prompt, feel free to message us. this of course does not reflect our feelings towards ezra ooc, but there are ic rules that all trainees must follow if they wish to stay in the company for the long run. he will not take part in any training with a coach during the month of october, but he may use empty practice rooms after his work shifts (and is strongly encouraged to do so so he won’t fall behind his peers).

he can’t participate in any activity taking place in october for the time being, which includes the monthly sns post for october. he will be met by kim hyuncheol again in the last week of october to assess how his month has been and of course, if ezra wishes, reinstate him into training with the others. once he joins training again, while he might be observed a little more closely for a while, please know that he will not be held back from participating in activities again and will not be treated any differently than his peers.

below is his schedule for october

monday: serve food at the cafeteria (8am to 5pm)

tuesday: clean bathrooms and locker rooms (8am to 5pm)

wednesday: run errands for managers (8am to 5pm)

thursday: clean floors and practice room mirrors (3pm to 12am)

friday: study korean in hyuncheol’s office with random testing (8am to 5pm)

saturday: sit and do nothing in dorm under manager supervision (8am to 5pm)

sunday: sit and do nothing in hyuncheol’s office under his supervision (8am to 12pm)

if you wish, you can also write one solo of 300 words minimum about any part of his schedule written above to gain +5 korean and a greater chance of being back on kim hyuncheol’s good side at the end of the month. of course, he will still need to be on his best behavior at all times. make sure to submit the link to your solo to lgcmanager before adding your points. while not writing anything won’t impact him negatively, it won’t impact him positively either.  again, if you have any question or worry, please message us. we can help you figure out which activity he can take part in if you’re unsure!

[deathcoreschnee]

Random Whiterose prompt

Weiss lightly smacked Ruby in the back of head, well aware it would cause a squeak. The crimsonette moved her head up to eye her partner, raising a brow. "Focus." was all the heiress whispered to her.

Ruby sat up correctly but slouched in her seat, completely forgetting she had her earphones in. Only deciding to focus on her music, she decided to draw a random flower on the blank sheet of paper. School sucks, was all Ruby thought .

She looked up at the clock, there was still 30 minutes. Deciding that it wasn't worth it she grabbed her stuff and packed it into her backpack. It caught the attention of Weiss, Blake and Yang, once the crimsonette stood up. "Have a good day, Miss Rose." Was all Professor Port said to Ruby, not taking it to heart that she left.

The crimsonette walked down the hall, before reaching the stairs she played the new single of her favorite band. Slightly bobbing her head caused her plugs to shake as well. Lightly walking down the steps debating on going home or hanging out at the, Hunter's Cafe, to get a hot chocolate with double chocolate chips cookies on the side.

Now she craved the sweet hard, leaving building to walk to the connecting bridge that leads to the parking across the street along with a small shopping mall. Ruby walked down the ramp, calmly watching the cars pass, either some loud exhausts or engines. She was relieved that there wasn't a long line, walking in to be greeted by Jaune Arc, best friend/concert buddy .

"Hey, Ruby! The regular?"

The blonde man smiled at his, getting to work on grabbing the cookies after so they're just as warm with the hot chocolate, but with a hint of melted marshmallows. Ruby paid the cashier then sat in the corner that was near to the pick up area of the orders. The crimsonette rested her head against the wall, while she took out her scroll, not surprised by having unread messages from the girls, specifically more from a certain heiress.

Ruby went through Blake's and Yang's, both questioning where she was. A simple reply to both of them saying she was just having hot chocolate. Getting to Weiss she wasn't surprised with how mad she was, anyone would if they weren't paying attention in class.

[Love you too.] Ruby shook her head, knowing it'll relax the women's temper down.

She didn't have the heart to tell them that school wasn't doing it for her anymore, to the point where it was just hell even coming.

Looking up to see blue eyes staring at her in worry, then eyeing the hot chocolate and cookies. "Stuck in that stump still?" Ruby could only sigh, Jaune was the only one who knew what was going on her head.

"I don't think I'm cut out for this anymore, I get that's only been two years. I'm chasing down my career path..." She ate a cookie, staring at her roughed up white vans.

"Well, why don't you take a semester off? You don't have to drop out completely.." He offered a smile, that spoke with strongly words of 'I support whatever you do'.

"Never thought of that in all honesty, I'm just so burnt out.. I'll take Spring semester off, get a job to break this pattern." Ruby combed her hair back slightly, after taking a big gulp from her hot chocolate, once she made sure it cool enough to do.

"Are you still trying to impress, Weiss?" Ruby almost choked on the hot chocolate, coughing loudly. Jaune patted her back, then chuckling softly.

"I'll take it as a yes."

The crimsonette rested her head against the table avoiding his gaze, "I doubt she'd be with me anyway, I mean.. I did just walk out class. Weiss deserves someone responsible and what not." Turning to rest her face against the cool surface of the table.

"You overthink too much, you know that. And you let your thoughts turn negative, way too easily." Jaune flicked her forehead, then standing up after hearing more customers walk in.

"Just talk to her about it, I wouldn't be surprised if she shared your feelings. " Ruby just stared at her best friend, thinking over his advice, letting her head hit the wall with a thump.

"I'll just ask her when I get home, hopefully they aren't too mad at me." She thought as she chugged her drink, enjoying the slight burn in the back of her throat. Staring at the two of six cookies that she had, deciding to give them to Weiss.

-

"Where have you been, Ruby?" Weiss stared down the crimsonette as she entered the house all four lived in, courtesy of the Schnee's and Belladonna's. Ruby eyed the shorter woman that was blocking her room's entrance.

"Weiss let me get into my room, I just want to take nap." The crimsonette gave her best puppy dog face, only to be met with a hand to cover the gesture.

"You always fucking sleep after classes, we haven't studied together in 2 months!" Ruby winced at how loud Weiss's voice could get, grateful that Yang and Blake were no where in sight.

"Has it been two months, since we've even been together?" Ruby thought as she cowared under the glare of those icy blue eyes. Now completely aware of how she fucked up with the woman, who meant a lot to her. "I'm sorry, Weiss.. I just haven't felt like myself lately.."

"What do you mean?" Ruby rose her head to view Weiss's head tilt in confusion.

"I just don't feel, I can handle school..at least for now.. I wanna take a break, I'm just drained.. I wasn't aware that it would affect you too..."

Weiss's expression softened after the crimsonette apology, lightly cupping the taller girls cheek. "Of course, it should affect me. I was only use to a smile from you, not a cold shoulder. I was worried, I now see that you're feeling better after figuring out what to do. If it is a break you need, then take it. I'll be able to see you more after my classes.."

Ruby leaned in the hand on her cheek, smiling, wrapping her arms around Weiss's waist.

"Thank you, princess"

"Call me that again, I'll hide all your plugs." The nickname didn't stop her from wrapping her arms around Ruby's neck, resting her head against her shoulder.

"I know this a weird request, but wanna take a nap with me? I'll give you one of my hoodies..." Ruby smiled when she felt Weiss shake against her from laughing.

"I have two already, I'll end up taking all of them you,dolt. And to answer your request, I'd love too" Weiss rose her head to stare at Ruby's wide smile.

As Weiss walked in Ruby remembered the cookies, she dug them out of her backpack.

"Hey, I got these for ya."

Weiss smiled as she was given the cookies, taking a bite then giving the other to Ruby.

"Thank you, dolt. Now I'll be stealing a hoodie of yours."

That made the crimsonette laugh but just layed down on her bed not minding it one bit. Ruby rested on her stomach, she groaned slightly as she felt Weiss' weight on her back.

"Night, Ruby.."

"Night Weiss."

With the platinum blonde cuddling into her back she felt herself fall asleep quicker.

-

Woah been awhile since I posted anything, I hope ya'll enjoy it! Wrote this for a buddy of mine.

(Also recommend listening to Proper Dose by TSSF or Evergreen by Knuckle Puck or even both while reading this)