#Yes I know Gilbert also was made for fighting but he also had a hospital to care for

[smoothie03]

When the trope is that the one that was made for healing is the fighter and the one made for fighting is the healer

[leossmoonn]

Close Call [Damon Salvatore]

masterlist 

pairing - damon salvatore x fem!reader

type - angst, fluff

note - hey, guys! this was a request , enjoy :)

summary - damon and you get in a fight and it ends up with you in an accident. damon finds you and helps you with your injuries

warnings - language, car crash, blood loss, mention of cuts and bruises, physical fight, lil make out session in the beginning. also don’t read this if you aren't on like season 4 lol

————

*gif isnt mine*

Sun peaked through the window and into your eyes, blinding you for a few moments. You turned around in bed, sighing contently as you laid your eyes on your boyfriend of 4 months. He was already awake and looked to already be staring at you. 

“It’s creepy to stare,” you smirked. 

“I can’t help it. You’re so beautiful when you sleep,” Damon smiled and put his hand up to your face. He tucked your hair behind your ear and moved closer to you. 

“Is that so?” You giggled. 

He nodded and put his lips onto yours. You let out a pleased moan into his mouth. His hands went from your cheeks down to your arm. He caressed your skin, going down to your bare thighs. You sighed into the kiss, raking your hands through his hair. 

He pulled away from the kiss, leaving you pouting. 

“More,” you whined and leaned in to kiss him again. 

“No, no, I need to go,” he said, resting his hand on your waist under your shirt. 

“Go where?” You asked. You made patterns on his cheek with your index finger.

“Go and kill Klaus,” Damon explained. He got up using his vamp speed and went to the bathroom. 

You furrowed your brows. Go kill Klaus? You two had talked about a plan with Elena, Stefan, Caroline, and Bonnie that did not include Damon just running off by himself. 

“I thought we made up a plan last night, though,” you said as you went over to the bathroom. 

Damon shrugged and got into the shower. “Yeah. Well, little Gilbert, Stefan, Alaric, and I made up a different one.”

“Why? Our plan was perfectly fine. Plus, when does Stefan actually want to help?” You asked, stepping into the shower with him. 

“Stefan still loves Elena. Deep down he does. Under all that “Klaus-broke-me-” crap,” Damon said. 

You nodded, understanding that. You still didn’t understand why Damon went behind your back. 

“You realize that I���m not letting you risk your life by fighting a thousand year old hybrid, right?” You chuckled. 

“I know. That’s why Stefan is going to make sure you don’t get in the way,” Damon smiled sweetly. 

You scoffed, “I am not being held hostage while my boyfriend is going on a suicide mission.”

“You have to, babe. Otherwise you’ll die.”

“Oh, and that’s different from you dying.”

“Yes, I’m a vampire. I’ll have a bunch of stakes with me, white oak stakes to be exact. I’ll be fine,” he shrugged. 

You frowned and shook your head. “Klaus will kill you. He’s too strong, especially with all his hybrids. Jeremy and Alaric are just human. You’re the only vampire. The only thing Klaus needs to do is aim a regular stake at your heart to kill you. I have a feeling Klaus is good with aim, too.”

“I said I’ll be fine! Don’t be so dramatic,” Damon brushed your concerns off. 

“I am not being dramatic! Sorry that I'm worried about you facing the world’s most dangerous predator,” you scoffed and got out of the shower. 

Damon sighed and followed you. “I have all of Alaric’s weapons with me! Especially those wolfsbane grenades.”

You rolled your eyes. “I said you’re not going. I don’t care if I have to chain you to the bed, but you are not risking your life. We made up a plan last night, and that is the plan you are going with.”

“No, Y/n! I’m doing this my way, wether you like it or not.”

You huffed. “You are such a dick sometimes.”

Damon growled and before you knew it, you were being slammed into the wall. Damon’s eyes went red and you breathed in in fear.   

“I said I am going. Stefan is going to make sure you don’t interfere. Got it?” Damon whispered. 

Your fear diminished and you raised your hand. You slapped him across the face. He let you go, shocked that you had hit him. 

“I am not a little child you can boss around. I am your girlfriend and I am allowed to be worried for you. But, fine, since you obviously don’t need me or care what I have to say, then I’ll go. I hope your plan turns into a shit-show,” you spat and walked out of the bathroom. 

You put your hair up quickly and got dressed into the clothes you had worn the night before. You rushed out of Damon’s rooms and down the stairs. 

“Hey, Y/n... you okay?” Stefan walked up to you and asked. 

“Shove it,” you muttered and walked out the door. 

You ran to your car and swung the door open. You sniffled and wiped your nose while getting in. 

“Lock me up in the house like a dog. Who the hell does he think he is!” You exclaimed to yourself. 

You started the car and drove fast out of the Salvatore gates. You didn’t know where you were going, but you just wanted to get as far away as you could. 

You knew Damon had always been protective and at times, controlling, but this was a new level. He never actually had to lock you in the house. He also never lied to you before and went behind your back. 

A part of you felt like you were overreacting. You've seen Stefan and Damon go behind people’s back’s before. They always had another plan in motion. But, the difference was that this time, Damon was going behind your back. 

You sighed and wiped the tears from your eyes. Your phone started to ring and you ignored that, as you were driving. You let the call die out, but then your phone started to ring again. You rolled your eyes, knowing it was Damon. You knew he wouldn't stop until you answered. 

So you slowed down your car and reached for your phone which was on the passenger seat. You frowned as it was too far. Your eyes went to the road and quickly went back to your phone. As you reached further, you heard a car honk at you. You finally were able to grab your phone, but before you new it, the car that was honking at you collided with your car. 

————

You woke up with your head throbbing. You opened your eyes slowly, feeling dizzy and nauseous. You looked at your surroundings. You were in your car, but it didn’t look right. It was when you looked up that you realized you were upside down in your car. 

Tears clouded your eyes. You looked around yourself, seeing a glass shards from your window shelf lodged in your thigh, wrist, and right below your neck in your collar bone. 

You cried out in horror and pain. “Shit!”

Blood was dripping down to the roof from your neck. 

“Shit. Shit. Shit!” You cursed. 

Your mind felt foggy from all the blood loss. You found yourself calling out Damon’s name in the silence. 

“Damon! Save me, please! Damon, please! Damon...” your hoarse voice called out to him. 

You felt your eyes droop and it felt hard to breathe. “Damon!” You let out one last yell before you fell back into the darkness. 

A few moments later and you awoke again. You opened your eyes slightly, seeing a tall figure next to you. The figure went down to your level and you saw that it was Damon. 

“Hey, baby, I’m gonna get you out of here. Okay?” He said and put his hand against your cheek. 

You nodded, your mind still hazy. You went in and out of consciousness once again. Every few moments, you fell back in your seat, then woke up, to only faint again. 

“Fuck,” you heard Damon mutter as you went into consciousness again. 

“Y/n? Are you awake? I need you to do something for me,” he said. 

“Huh?” You said. Your voice was hoarse and distant. Like you were just waking up from a deep, deep sleep. 

“I need you to put your hands on the roof for me. Can you do that for me, babe?” Damon asked. 

You looked at him, eyes half-open-half-closed. You nodded slowly, putting your hands up weakly to the roof.

“I know you’ve lost a lot of blood, but I need you to try and push on the roof as hard as you can. Okay, princess?” Damon asked softly. 

You nodded, your eyes going back down. Damon cursed again, thinking you were going to go back into unconsciousness again. But, you kept your hands on the roof and pushed up as hard of you could. 

Damon saw this and then lifted your car so he could move it slightly to where he would have more access to you. He went back down on his knees and put his arms around you and his hands on your seatbelt. 

“What’s happening?” You asked. 

“I’m saving you. Here, I'm gonna unbuckle you and that’s where you slide into my arms and out of the car, okay?” He said. 

You nodded, gaining more consciousness. He unbuckled your seatbelt and you pushed yourself out of the seat, easily sliding into Damon's arms. Damon scooted you back so you two sat on the road, you on his lap. 

“Y/n? Stay awake for me, princess. You can do this,” he said and put his hand on the glass shard in your thigh. 

“Damon...” your voice drifted off. 

“I’m here, baby. I’m gonna pull the glass out. It’ll only hurt for a few moments,” he said. 

You nodded and he pulled the shard out of your thigh. You cried out in pain and Damon cringed. He hated seeing you in pain. Especially since he was the cause of it. 

“I’m gonna do your wrist and collar bone,” he said. 

You nodded quickly, biting your lip in anticipation. He pulled the glass out of you skin quickly, earning two screams from you while doing so. 

“It’s okay, princess. It’s over now. Here, let me feed you some of my blood so you can heal,” he said and started to bite his wrist, but you shook your head. 

“Take me... hospital.. in case.. die,” you said weakly. 

He furrowed his brows, but obeyed your wishes. He rushed you to the hospital with his vamp speed. 

“She got in a car crash. Help her,” Damon said to a nurse and gestured to your unconscious body in his arms. 

“We don’t have enough rooms now, sir, please wait,” the nurse said. 

Damon growled and looked into her eyes. “That’s bullshit. My girlfriend is about to die here, so get me a room or I’ll rip your throat out.”

The nurse’s eyes widened and she nodded quickly. She led Damon to a room and he set you down on a bed. 

The doctors came in and got you an oxygen tube, blood transfusion, and cleaned your cuts and got you into clean, hospital clothes. 

You didn’t come into full consciousness until an hour later. During that hour, Damon had called your friends and told them the news. Elena, Bonnie, Caroline, Matt, and Stefan came into your room and waited with Damon for you to wake up. 

You finally woke up, gasping loudly and your eyes flying open.

“Wha-where am I?” You asked, looking around the room. You calmed down once you saw the friendly faces of your friends. 

“You’re in the hospital, Y/n. Damon brought you here after the car crash. Are you okay?” Bonnie came over to you and asked. She held your hand, tears of relief falling down her cheeks. 

“Oh,” you said. You looked at Damon, faint memories of him saving you from dying resurfacing. 

“Yeah, I’m okay. My thigh and wrist is sore, though,” you frowned. 

“Yeah, the doctor wrapped your injuries. Damon said you refused his vampire blood, so he took you to the hospital. We’ve been waiting for about an hour for you to wake up,” Matt said. 

“Thank you guys for waiting. Sorry if I caused a lot of worry,” you smiled apologetically as you saw the tears on all their faces. 

“It’s okay. We’re just glad Damon got there in time,” Elena smiled at you. She came over to you and gave you a hug. 

You smiled and hugged her back. “Where is Damon?”

“He was getting you some ice cream,” Caroline said. 

You smiled and nodded. A knock at the door sounded and you tore your eyes away from your friends. Your eyes landed on Damon who held the most guilty look on his face. 

“We’ll give you some alone time,” Caroline smiled. Your friends went out into the hallway and Damon came in. 

“I got you your favorite. They only had a pint at the store, no gallon, which is weird,” he said and set the ice cream down on a nearby table. 

“Thank you, Damon,” you smiled. 

Damon sighed and came over to you. He sat at the end of your bed, placing his hands on yours. 

“I’m sorry for being such an asshole. You had a right to be worried. I shouldn’t have gone behind your back. It’s just Klaus has threatened to kill you so much, and I want to kill him so bad. I’m your boyfriend, I was just trying to protect you. I’m sorry I made you upset and got you hurt, and almost killed you. I'm so sorry,” Damon apologized while tears fell from his eyes. 

You smiled forgivingly. “It’s okay, babe. You were the one who saved me, anyways. I forgive you. I’m sorry for hitting you. That wasn’t the right way to handle the situation. I hope I didn’t hurt you too bad.”

Damon smiled and shook his head. “No, I’m fine. Your slap felt like a little tap to me.”

You laughed, “Interesting. But, Damon, just don’t go behind my back again, please.”

“I promise I won’t. I love you,” Damon said and leaned in to kiss you. 

You kissed him back, your hand wrapped around his neck and pulled him closer. Your heart monitor went up and you two pulled away, laughing. 

“I get you all flustered, huh?” Damon smirked. 

“Shut up,” you rolled your eyes, a blush forming on your cheeks. 

————

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@be-patient-be-good​

[aahsokaatano]

King I would love that essay about Changing Channels

Fjdjshjdhdjd thanks for reading my tags Jesse you're the real VIP here.

Okay SO "Changing Channels" is the 8th episode of the 5th season of Supernatural. I give this information bc it's important in looking at the context of the episode - now I've complained a LOT about how SPN is terrible at giving us canonical timeframes within the episodes (y'all i was SHOCKED to discover the first season is supposed to cover a little over a year's worth of time, I thought it was like... 4 or 5 months) so I can't say for sure how long before and after the other episodes happen in-universe around "Changing Channels" BUT

The episode before is "The Curious Case of Dean Winchester" where Dean and Bobby bet years of their lives in a game of poker with a witch. The episode after is "The Real Ghostbusters" where Sam and Dean end up at a fan convention for the in-universe Supernatural novels.

Why am I pointing this out? Because it's important, please, no audience participation, this is like a Brian David Gilbert panel.

[under a cut bc this got...... STUPID long. Who knew I still had this many opinions about SPN in 2020?]

Okay first of all I wanna talk about the cinnamon topography of this episode - I love the way the first 5 seasons are shot because you really feel the americana gothic horror aesthetic they were going for (I have a whole ‘nother rant about the first 5 seasons vs the last 10 but thats for another time). Everything is a little washed out and grey-toned, the camera angles generally serve to make Sam and Dean appear even taller than they actually are (larger than life - again, another post for another time), and there’s honestly a LOT of shots from the ‘monster’s’ perspective, which is really neat! I’ve said it before (on another blog - YES i have a dedicated spn rant blog, don’t @ me hdjfhfjfh) but the episode that really got me hooked on spn back in the day was the second one, about the w*ndigo. Yes, it’s a racist, culturally appropriating shitstorm, but the way its SHOT is fantastic. I’m honestly not a horror fan, but that episode could have easily relied on jumpscares and they DIDN’T and it was scary as all fucking hell and just - fuck okay getting off topic. 

In “Changing Channels” we get that distinctive grey-washed tone in the beginning and the very end of the episode, but the middle? When they’re in TV Land? Everything is bright. Almost comically so, I mean - okay look at these two shots of Sam (apologies about the crappy phone pics, netflix won't let me screenshot)

This one is from the start of the episode, in the "real" police station

And this is from a little later in the "TV" hospital

Ignoring that my phone is washing him out a lot in both pics, you can still see the warmer tones in the hospital shot as compared to the cold greyness in the police station one

Okay, now look at this picture

Dean inside the Impala, and those warm tones are back. Why? Because even though Sam and Dean believe that they’re back in the “real” world, they aren’t - so instead of the grey-washed shots that we’re used to, its the bright and warm shots that we see in “TV Land”! So the viewers pick up, even if its just subconsciously, that the boys aren’t out of the woods yet - everything is still too bright to be the in-universe reality we’ve come to expect from SPN by season 5

Which is also why i love this shift so much

These shots are literally SECONDS apart. The first is in "TV Land" and the second is in the "real" world. I have some red strip lights behind my bed, which are reflecting off my laptop screen - notice how much brighter they seem in the second picture? That’s because literally all of the warm colors have been drained out of the shot. As soon as Gabriel snaps them all back into “reality,” things get so much colder.

Okay, so the second thing I want to talk about is some of the very pointed dialogue choices within the “shows” the Winchesters take part in. Not between Sam and Dan and Gabriel, but from the, for lack of a better term, NPCs within the shows.

In the hospital, Dr. Piccolo tells Sam that he is “the finest cerebrovascular neurosurgeon I have ever met - and I have met plenty! So that girl died on your table; it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault. Sometimes people just die.” Standard cheesy soap opera dialogue - but lemme just swap some words here and - 

“You are the finest hunter I have ever met - and I have met plenty! So that girl died on your hunt; it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault. Sometimes people just die.”

Or even - 

“You are the finest hunter I have ever met - and I have met plenty! So Jessica and Mary died above you; it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault [but Azazel’s]. Sometimes people just die.”

Keeping in mind that the NPCs are basically Gabriel’s mouthpieces, its easy to see why so many people ship Sabriel. I’d actually love to see a fic that explores them talking about this moment in particular later on and the kind of gentle forgiveness that Gabriel can give Sam... getting off topic again.

In an abrupt about-face, the herpes commercial (much meme’d within the fandom) is straight up Gabriel shaming Sam. Because if you replace “genital herpes” with “demon blood” it’s.... dark. And very intentional.

So that’s what I did! (I combined all spoken lines to make the message easier to read, rather than splitting them up across 3 speakers as in the episode)

“I’ve drank demon blood. I tried to be responsible... did I try. But now, after being forcibly detoxed, I fight my addiction every day to reduce the chances of passing back into that toxic mindset. Ask your loved ones about a demon blood intervention today. [...] I am doing all I can to slightly lessen the chance of drinking demon blood again. And that’s a good thing.”

Like... the subtext throughout this episode sure is. Something.

Okay this is getting ridiculously long so I wanna wrap up by talking about The Best Scene In The Whole Goddamn Show

I’m talking, of course, about Gabriel’s Confession

“Max,” you might be saying, “there are so many better scenes out there, even within the first five seasons!” and to that i say, again, no audience participation, please. Also, you’re WRONG and here’s why!

Gabriel’s confession hits every goddamn emotional chord that the fandom begged for on this show - fear, rage, grief, pain, guilt, and even, yes, absolution. 

Okay, here’s the scene again for those of you who don’t think about it at least once a week like me

Now this video is missing some of the conversation, but most of it is there, enough for you to see what I’m talking about. Gabriel up to this point has been, essentially, a nameless antagonist - this is the third episode he appeared in, and before this, we didn’t even know he was going by Loki. He was just referred to as ‘The Trickster’. But here, not only do we get a name (a real name at that), but we also get a glimpse of his backstory and a hell of a lot of character development in less than 5 minutes. I mean, Sam didn’t get this much character development throughout the entirety of season 1! There’s a good reason Gabriel has been a fan-favorite for a very long time, and I think a big part of it is this particular scene.

Because here, we get to see Gabriel being vulnerable. And we even see Dean show a little vulnerability, as he can empathize being the third party to explosive arguments between the two people who mean everything to him.

I mean... okay, it will never see the light of day, but I wrote a little bit of a Reverse ‘Verse fic (because I’m a sucker for Reverse ‘Verse) and this was the scene I started with. Not s1e1, not even the resurrection in s4e1, but this scene. Because this scene, more than any other, is critical to the way not only Gabriel’s (first) arc plays out, but also to how Sam and Dean conduct themselves for the rest of the season (and maybe a bit beyond, it’s been a hot minute since I watched s6 and later). Dean is angry but determined, he has a point to make, he is going to save Sammy and if he can’t do that, then he’s going to damn well die trying. But Sam... it’s after this episode that we start really seeing how bone-achingly tired Sam is. It’s after this conversation - where one of the other archangels, one of the few beings who can truly understand how powerful Michael and Lucifer are - says that there’s no other way around this that Sam seems to start inching towards giving in. Saying yes.

Sure, in the actual episode, he seems outraged by the idea, practically scoffs at it - “you want us to say yes to those sons of bitches?” - but it’s after this where Sam really seems run down.

I mean, look at the episodes before and after (HAH you thought I forgot about that first point I made at the very beginning of this post! I did, briefly, but I’ve circled back to it, thanks for being understanding). In “The Curious Case of Dean Winchester,” Sam behaves much as he did since the start of s4, which is to say, ‘annoying little know-it-all brother tossed into the middle of the apocalypse and just trying his best’ and it works well for the mad scramble for any scrap of information that’s happening in s4/early s5.

But in “The Real Ghostbusters” it’s different. This is another funny meta episode - except, while Sam and Dean are technically aware of the joke, they aren’t as amused by it as the audience is. And it’s not because of the ghosts. It’s because they’re just... done. Especially Sam. Dean has that nice little moment with the cosplayers at the end of the episode, but Sam... threatens to shoot Chuck. Sam ‘goes darkside’ more often than pretty much any other character in the show, but that moment is different. It’s a flat promise, not a threat. He’s not being an asshole, like he is after losing his soul. He’s just... done. And it’s obvious to see.

Gabriel’s confession is the turning point for Sam in s5, and it informs a lot of his behavior through the rest of s5, and possibly beyond! Like I said, I haven’t watched past s5 in a very long time, so I don’t feel confident enough to analyze that specific sort of character line, but I feel confident in saying that hearing one of the most powerful beings in the universe basically say “it doesn’t matter what you do - your destiny is unavoidable” and then he’s proven right (Sam says yes to Lucifer, and Dean eventually does say yes to Michael down the line!)... like, that’s really gotta fuck up your world view that was built on free will and throwing off the shackles of fate. Sam managed to avoid his ‘destiny’ in s2... but then it turns out that that wasn’t ever his destiny. Lucifer was his destiny.

Talk about an obscured view of the inner self.

[365days365movies]

April 4, 2021: The Great Dictator (1940) (Part One)

So, Charlie’s been having an...interesting few years.

His marriage to Lita Grey has resulted in children, and a BITTER-AS-FUCK divorce, with Grey alleging that Chaplin had subjected her to “sexual perversions”. Other than the whole “she was 16, he was 35″ thing, which is...bad, obviously, Chalin was also a fan of orgies, fondling, and...pies. Yeah. Pies. Warning here, the next paragraph is...uncomfortable.

Dude would allegedly audition actresses having then sit on a couch, strip naked for him, and then he’d grope them on said couch. Then, he’d have them stand up against the wall, and he’d...well, he’d throw pies at them. Yeah. Um. He, uh...yeah.

I know, Matt Mercer, I know. And Hollywood agreed, because they didn’t really see to care? This info, amongst other stuff that I can’t seem to find out more about, was enough for grounds of divorce against Chaplin, and Lita Grey was gone from his life, taking the kids and a lot of money with her.

Film fame continued for Chaplin, though, and his 1927 film The Circus was a huge hit. But now, the “talkie” had been invented, and Chaplin HATED it. He believed that it was an unartistic addition to the medium, eliminating the need for his pantomiming. And, uh...he was technically right about that last point. He chose not to give the Tramp a voice, and made the film City Lights, which came out in 1931, and is considered one of his greatest films.

But the writing was VERY MUCH on the wall at this point, and silent films were a thing of the past. Still, City Lights did really well, and was Chaplin’s favorite of his films. Then, in 1932, he met Pauline Goddard (who was 21), and she would eventually become his third wife. He made his next major (still silent) film, Modern Times, in 1936, and it didn’t do quite as well. That’s because Chaplin had started to become more politically conscious, and used the film to make commentary on the industrialization of the USA, which he disliked. And that, interestingly enough, was a sign of the end for Chaplin.

Still, the film was good, as was still popular then and now. But in the years to follow, something else would rear its head and plague Chaplin...something with the same mustache.

Hooooooo boy. Yeah, Hitler was rising to power in the 1930s, and Chaplin fuckin’ HAAAAAAAATED HIM. At the time, remember, Hitler’s fascist policies definitely weren’t universally derided, and he didn’t show his true monstrous colors in the early 1930s. But, Chapin still understandably disagreed with his politics and character, which was interesting for a few reasons. The two were bourn FOUR DAYS APART FROM EACH OTHER, had similar rags-to-riches origins, and both used that same toothbrush mustache. But Hitler was a feverish militaristic nationalist dictator, and Chaplin was...not that.

However, this would inspire Chaplin’s next ambitious film, considered to be one of his greatest films ever, and his first ever talkie film. And one that would age interestingly, considering what would come afterwards. In 1939, Chaplin began making this film, the United Kingdom declared war of Germany, and Europe became embroiled in the Second World War. And then, in 1940, Chaplin’s controversial (at the time) film, The Great Dictator was released. And...oh BOY, this will be Chaplin’s high and low point, lemme tell you. 

But enough history (for now)! Let’s jump into this movie; I’m very excited! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

WAR!!! A world war has ended, and another is about to begun! The small (fictional) country of Tomainia is preparing for war by testing their gigantic anti-aircraft gun, Big Bertha. Helping with these efforts is a Jewish Barber (Charlie Chaplin), and YES. THAT IS HOW HE’S CREDITED. After some comedic hijinks with the gun, and with one of the large shells, enemy aircraft is sighted ahead.

The Barber gets aboard another anti-aircraft gun (which he has no control over), but soon falls off of it. He’s directed into the trenches with the others, and is given a grenade, which he has no idea to use, and Chaplin shows that his physical comedy is as funny WITH sound as it was without. 

On the battlefield, the Barber encounters and rescues a downed pilot, Commander Schultz, and helps him back t his plane as the enemy approaches. They get on the plane together, only for the pilot to repeatedly faint in mid-air. In the process, they begin to fly upside down for a period, and once again, Chaplin shows that he’s just as funny speaking as he was silent.

Despite their attempts, the pair crash as the plane runs out of fuel, but both men survive. The country has lost the war at this point, and the Barber is now unconscious and brought to a hospital. 20 years pass, and he’s finally able to leave, unaware of how his country of Tomainia has changed in the process. Now, they are ruled by a ruthless dictator, Adenoid Hynkel (Charlie Chaplin).

And i case you were wondering what the phrase “on the nose” actually meant...GODDAMN, this is an on-the-nose parody of Hitler. I mean, it’s very funny, of course, but HOT DAMN is it not even a little bit subtle. Also, living in a post-Trump world...Jesus, this is eerie. Anyway, the other reason this film is great is the fake German. And yeah, honestly, this is a very funny scene, even with the dark undertone, and the knowledge of what would be to come in World War II under Hitler’s regime.

Alongside his primary aides, Minister of War Herring (Billy Gilbert) and Secretary of the Interior (and Minister of Propaganda) Garbitsch (Henry Daniell), he makes a speech that’s clearly a parody of Hitler’s speeches. He also namedrops the Jewish population in the speech, which immediately makes them a target by his stormtroopers. This is noted by Mr. Jaeckel (Marice Mossovich), an elderly Jewish man who lives in the ghettos of Tomainia.

Mr. Jaeckel bemoans the fate of the country under Hynkel’s rule, and also notes the fate of those like his tenant, a young woman named Hannah (Paulette Goddard) who lost her parents since the last war. He also mentions the Barber, who writes every few weeks to say that he’ll be back soon. Just then, the Barber actually DOES wake up, completely unaware of what’s occurred in the last few years.

He heads to his barber shop, which has been boarded up, with the word “Jew” painted on the boards. Did I mention that this is a very on-the-nose satire? Anyway, he attempts to reopen his shop, only to be savaged by stormtroopers following Hynkel’s orders to control the ghetto. He fights back against two of them, and is saved by Hannah, who had attempted to stand up to them earlier with little success. They bond over this, and become friends.

But Hynkel’s savaged even more by a crowd of stormtroopers next, and they grab him with the intent to hang him from a lamppost, only for him to be saved by Commander Schultz, the pilot from the plane! He guarantees that he will never be attacked again, and that courtesy extends to his friends. He barber reopens his shop, and begins to fall in love with Hannah in the process.

Back to Hynkel. He’s enduring Herring’s introductions of military technology, including a bulletproof uniform and a parachute hat. Neither work, to hilarious effect. He then speaks to Garbitsch about the financial state of affairs in the country, which aren’t great. Gabitsch sugggests speaking with a banker, Epstein, to finance the money.

Garbitsch, by the way, is a massive Grima Wormtongue figure, and basically just fuels his megaloaniacal fervor, convincing him to extend his desires to the world at large, not just limit them to their small country of Tomainia. Soon, well...soon, the world will be in the hands of Emperor Hynkel; an Aryan world in the hands of a brunette dictator. And that starts YET ANOTHER of the most iconic scenes of the film. But only one of the most iconic.

It’s darkly beautiful, in and out of context. And eventually, the inflatable globe pops, which makes this even more poignant. Meanwhile, in the ghetto, the Barber is doing his best Bugs Bunny impression and cutting hair to a classical music piece (Brahms’ Hungarian Dance No. 5). Bugs did the whole Barber of Seville routine WAY after this in Rabbit of Seville in 1950. One of the best Bugs Bunny shorts ever.

Back in the palace, bad news arrives. Epstein, the banker, has refused to give Hynkel any money, as he’s Jewish, and is protesting against the persecution of his people in the ghetto. Hynkel immediately decides to double down on his attacks on the ghettos, which he calls on Schultz to perform. But he refuses, noting that the persecution of an innocent people will only serve to demoralize the entire country. Hynkel sends Schultz to a concentration camp as a result, and proceeds on his path.

In the ghetto, people have been doing OK, as the stormtroopers had been lightening up their attacks on the ghetto, to attempt to please Epstein to get more money. But no more of that. As Hannah and the Barber are about to go on a date, loudspeakers broadcast an angry speech from Hynkel, in fake German. And while it’s never translated...the reactions from the populus, Hannah, and the Barber, aren’t difficult to read. Hynkel just waged war on the ghetto and the Jews.

Well, will you look at that; a halfway point! Let’s stop here, then head into a Part Two. See you there!

[makeitquietly]

A quick recap of what criticism I remember reading about this Blu-ray set: nobody agrees about the picture quality, or on which films it’s best/worst, but it’s on the waxy/soft side mostly because of too much digital cleaning or whatever, the sound is said to be good, some hissing, out of sync in the 1936 version of Berth Marks, extras are good too, no Blu-ray logo on the case, no booklet, awkward menu always reverts back to beginning, no play-all possibility, the films are not in the order of making/release.

But a lot of people worked very hard for a long time to make this set available. Which is why nothing negative should be said about it? Eh. Next time go for quality instead. Or don’t sell your product. Make it a fanwork.

Anyhow, if I was all powerful and had commissioned someone to restore these films, I’d make them go back and do it again if this set was presented to my ruling eyes.

OTOH, I paid 99 euros for this package and have had lots of fun with it and if there’d been Stan’s scrapbook (pages) amongst the galleries, I’d happily paid double. It’s not about the money spent except when people imply that negative reviews aren’t allowed. I’d paid 99 euros for the galleries alone.

It’s about the fact that the films aren’t as well restored as they should/could be. Beyond me, why it’s so difficult to admit. And it’s clearly not only an issue of getting waxified during some final cleanup or somehow being ruined when transferred to Blu-ray disks.

Any idiot (me) knowing nothing about the processes involved can easily confirm this by watching how different films on the same disk have different quality, likewise first reel can be almost okay, the second much worse, scenes and cuts have often annoyingly varying quality, even single frames look like they came from different prints and nothing was done to make them fit more seamlessly in their surroundings. And I’m not talking about that one wandering frame in Scram!, which must be some person’s idea of a joke, how else could it be so out of place?

Or didn’t anyone watch these that one last important time since it wasn’t removed, nor were the countless spots still there in most of the films? I know, when things get cleaned up that one remaining crumb is much easier to spot... er... see my point?

There are also jumpy frames, which I imagine would’ve been easy to adjust, and to prevent those ubiquitous flashy cuts, you’d only needed to adjust the brightness of that single frame causing the flashing. Even I have done that on GIMP when making gifs. I’m guessing too much contrast on, say, Me and My Pal isn’t a problem created by the wax people either.

The ridiculously softly glowing Brats might be, there’s an awful lot of glowing in One Good Turn too, and in parts of Sons of the Desert, for example, where faces are dangerously close to have that overly scrubbed look, which is a big problem in The Chimp and Come Clean.

When it comes to wax, Helpmates and County Hospital are the most hideous, the latter must be the worst looking of all the films in this set, being also awfully spotty as well as too dark. It’s got other faults too, like wonky frames. The Music Box has a pretty decent first reel (except for the opening scene), and despite not being able to see the stripes on Stan’s and Ollie’s pants because of too much contrast, Me and My Pal is also clearly better wax-wise in the first reel.

It’s interesting to watch some of these films for the first time, thinking that this is crap quality picture, but then the second reel is even worse and suddenly there’s a whole new level of crappiness.

I think the sound is ever so slightly out of sync for a bit in Way Out West and One Good Turn. At least it is compared to those same films on my 21 DVD set. In addition to being very clearly out of sync in that Berth Marks reissue like others have noticed. Berth Marks also has a weird stripey “cover” over the actual film. I suppose it was impossible to remove.

Even with some sync problems, if I had to choose the best restorations from this new collection, Way Out West would be on my list, together with Busy Bodies, Hog Wild and Towed in a Hole. Some parts of Sons of the Desert look gorgeous. With grain and all. Pretty much like Atoll K but unfortunately not as consistently. (Atoll K was restored by different people, I gather.)

The much anticipated but already online for free since 2019 The Battle of the Century then? Well, the first reel is quite good, or would be if it wasn’t a weird blend of an ugly greenish yellow or yellowish green. Sepia isn’t what it used to be. And I would’ve thought they’d made sure to get all those black spots removed at least from this one what with it being one of the “new” things on this set. The second reel is worse except colour-wise. But at least it’s there complete with Charlie Hall and the “what pie fight” ending.

Haven’t mentioned The Midnight Patrol, Their First Mistake or Twice Two yet. The last two are pretty evenly waxy, and comparing The Midnight Patrol to Come Clean and The Chimp makes it not that bad. There’s no actual need to bleach faces or an excuse for Billy Gilbert’s patternless shirt, is there?

For me the treasures from this set can be found on each disk under galleries. Even for those not interested in scripts, press material, posters and assorted documents, there are circa 1,400 photos, many of which really are rare, or at least I’d never seen them before. One of the gems are the about 140 photos from Babe’s Vim days. Awesome! Nothing as gemmy from Stan’s past before Laurel and Hardy, and someone put wrong names on the photos where he appears with the Hurleys, not the Cookes. Yes, there’s a short, handy description for most of the photos. 

So many of them and I must peruse more, of course, but I’m going give a special mention to Stan with both Loises on the set of Brats for adorableness and likewise to Thelma Todd for previously unseen (by me) variations from her photoshoot on that bathroom set. Love the six new-to-me photos of Stan and Babe together on the 1932 British tour especially. Great stuff. Oh, and Mae Busch, Dorothy Christy and Charley Chase in their Sons of the Desert portraits look fabulous.

Another treasure are the interviews with only a couple of slightly dubious moments. Joe Rock made me grin. George Marshall made me cry. Walter Woolf King made me laugh. Most wonderful. Short introduction by Randy Skretvedt for each interview. He’s the one who did the interviewing too. There’s 15 of them altogether. Plus a chance to hear composer Marvin Hatley perform Honolulu Baby and Will You Be My Lovey-Dovey. The audio only interviews come with some more great photos.

I kind of adore how Richard W. Bann casually debunks Anita Garvin’s The Battle of the Century story with one dry line during his commentary of the film. Hurts so good. Let’s have more debunking!

Speaking of the commentaries, and maybe more about them on some other occasion, Bann only comments The Battle and The Music Box, all the rest, including That’s That and The Tree in a Test Tube have commentaries by Randy Skretvedt.

I was expecting Bann to tell the whole story of why it took so long to get The Battle on video but he didn’t; fair enough, I thought, but then in his other commentary he goes on about his grudge with a dead guy, so I guess it was not his, um, politeness that stopped him from dishing on the much more recent and therefore interesting stuff. What then?

Perhaps a third person sharing the commentary duties would’ve been a good idea. That was my thought when Skretvedt obsessed over Stan’s smoking for the third time. By obsessed I mean he listed all the films where, according to him, Stan smokes. What for, you may wonder. I did. No answer. I remember reading somewhere that Stan not smoking in the movies means he’s a child. (Yes, some Laurel and Hardy fans are somewhat weird sometimes. Aren’t we all?) Maybe Skretvedt was trying to debunk that theory? Hehe, okay, I know he wasn’t, because he did the “they’re children, Hal Roach said so” routine in his Their First Mistake commentary, complete with Charles Barr quotes to prove there’s nothing gay about Ollie liking Stan more than his own wife. Made me fume. I don’t know why. Nothing new.

I don’t know why it doesn’t occur to him that if Ollie didn’t spend so much time with Stan, Mae wouldn’t be the lonely, disappointed wife who ends up wanting a divorce after one too many lies from Ollie and accuses Stan of alienation of Ollie’s affections. But no, apparently it’s no wonder that Ollie likes Stan more than his wife because she hits him with the broom. So the hitting came first and then too much time spent with Stan? I don’t think so.

Anyhow, third person, more variety, something newer, or at least an explanation for Stan’s smoking being of particular importance. Ollie’s smoking isn’t mentioned. Also, to digress even more, I always found the claim that Stan doesn’t smoke because he is a child odd, not only because he does, but also because he drinks alcohol too and manages to be married in several films. But the Laurel & Hardy child squad of course thinks the wives are actually their mothers. (Yes & again, weird.)

I did and do also wonder if there would’ve been anyone available and even if there had been, if these old school fans had accepted someone with different views. Probably not.

Still waiting for Skretvedt to notice Stan’s camera looks. Maybe he just hasn’t been a fan for long enough yet... 😛

I’m out of steam now. Need to rehydrate.

One more thing: No booklet, so maybe nobody involved wanted to spread about their name more than absolutely necessary knowing the restoration work was, shall we say, uneven?

Tl;dr: Uneven restoration work. Great extras. Mostly interesting commentaries.

[elejahfanfic]

Hello Love/3

Fanfiction

Part 3

Pairing: Miguel Galindo x Elena Gilbert

a tvd crossover AU story

ft. Klaroline

a/n: well, here is another fluffy fanfiction crossover story. This time all human. Since I am a huge fan of the vampire diaries - kind of always do crossovers with them.

As of recent I really started to like the character of Nick Amaro from Law&Order_svu, played by Danny Pino. I also love him as Miguel Galindo in Mayans MC… and so, in this story - paired with Elena Gilbert, of course, my favourite female character.

I hope you like it. Thanks for reading. xoxo

tag_ @miguelsbrat​

✯⸜(*❛‿❛)⸝✯

Miguel and Klaus were whisked away by their mother to greet some of their old friends.

Elena was now left with Caroline taking another cocktail.

"This is not a bad party at all!" Caroline stated. "It looks like you are rebounding fast?!"

"What do you mean?" Elena looked at her friend now.

"Oh, I saw the way you looked at Miguel - he is tall, dark and handsome! Maybe a bit stuffy, but not bad at all!!"

"Caroline, stop it. I am not interested. He is a nice guy - and we just had a polite talk."

"All right. I am not going to push it. Rebekah said that he wrapped himslef up in an untouchable cacoon. He has not dated anyone since his wife died.”

“Oh” Elena exclaimed softly looking in the direction of Miguel. But as Stefan joined them, she now turned to the man.

"You guys seen Yemaya?!" Stefan asked.

"Yeah," Elena said, "I think she went into the garden.Stefan thanked them and went to look for her.

"What shall we do?" Caroline said to her friend,"help them, not help them?"

"I think that we shouldn't meddle. I think Yemaya will realize that it would be stupid to let someone like Stefan walk." Elena replied.

"Oh, no. Damon is coming this way."

Caroline saw that he was now approaching them.

Sooner or later, Elena knew that they would have to face one another and as he came to them she kind of went the way to the garden and he followed her.

Caroline now looked for Rebekah.

"Elena, will you stop?!" Damon said grabbing her by the arm.

"What is it?" Elena’s chocolate eyes blazed at her ex.

"I want to talk to you."

"What about?"

"I made a mistake-but I love you!"

Elena inhaled deeply, annoyed."You don't love me- if you loved me you would never had slept with Krystal! And to tell you the truth - I think that you did me a favour. And - actually it made me realize that there was no real love between us anyway - it was just this toxic"

Before she managed to finish the sentence, he pulled her to him and kissed her.

Elena pulled away, sifting angrily at him,"Don''t ever do this again! Leave me alone!"

“Come on - she doesn’t mean anything to me - you know that - it was just - a stupid glitch.”

“We are over. And I don’t want to talk to you, see you or know anything about you!” Elena ripped away from Damon’s arms, trying to fight her tears, running out of the garden into the house.

“Are you all right?” Miguel asked as he nearly crashed with the brunette coming from the side room.

“Yes. Where is the bathroom, please?”

“Upstairs. Let me show you. This is a big house” Miguel led the way.

“Thank you.” Elena said, feeling much calmer already.

“There” Miguel gestured to the guest bathroom.

Elena entered and now washed her hands, and sat down on the rim of the tub.

“Are you all right?” Miguel knocked at the door. “I don’t want to bother you, but you were not looking well...and I’m a doctor - so”

Elena now opened the door. “I’m fine - I just forgot to eat today - and had the champagne and just felt a bit queasy.”

“You are a little bit pale. Let me get you a sandwich - the hors d’oeuvres are not sufficient.” Miguel offered.

“Thank you. But I think that I am going to go home. I got up at 5 as I had an order to finish and I’m really tired.” Elena said.

“All right. Shall I call you a cab?”

“Yes, please.”

***

A few days later

Mikaelson Mansion

"I saw you having a good time talking to Elena!?" Rebekah remarked teasing Miguel slightly.

"She is a nice person" Miguel replied.

"Ah,Elena?! Really?!" Kol said. "Isn’t she with Damon Salvatore."

"As usual you don't know anything Kol," Rebekah said, "didn't Bonnie tell you that they broke up!"

Miguel listened attentively, but kept quiet.

“I think she mentioned something. Yeah - the other night she spent hours on the phone with her.”

“It was a bad break up. Damon cheated - nothing new. She kicked him to the curb. She is the sweetest soul and deserves a good guy. Like you Miguel.”

“Here you are - blantanly matchmaking” Kol said.

“And so what? I don’t see you complaining - and Miguel also deserve a happy ever after.”

“I’m here” Miguel now said.

“Yeah - sorry. I don’t want to be insensitive - but, seriously. You seem to like her. Ask her out. Have dinner. Maybe things will happen. Maybe they don’t, but there is no harm in trying.” Rebekah said.

“You’re right,” Miguel said, “but it has been a long time since I’ve done  anything like that. And she has just broken up with her boyfriend, so I don’t think it is really appropriate to ask her out.”

Before Rebekah could continue, Esther entered the room, pulling him away.

“I would like to do something special for Cristobal’s birthday” the woman said to Miguel as they walked into the drawing room.

"Thank you, mother. That would be wonderful."

“You have both adjusted well. I am really happy that you decided to return living here.”

“Cristobal needs to have a sense of family - I should have came back years ago.” Miguel said.

“Henrik and him are getting along so well - you have done a great job with him.”

“Not without the great help of Senora Vega - she did most of the work.” Miguel pointed out.

“She is a marvelous woman. I don’t know why she declined the invitation to the party.”

“She doesn’t like big gatherings like these.”Miguel replied.

“I will invited her for tea some time. Right. I will cooridinate the birhtday party with Cristobal then - I’ve learned from Henrik, that it is not wise to take things in one’s own hands.” Esther said.

“He is very particular about what he likes and dislikes.”

“Weren’t you all?” Esther cocked an eyebrow, referring to all of her children, him included. They all were a handful, each with an ego, and very demanding personalities.

“We were” Miguel curled a smile remembering the chaos that reigned in the house when they were kids.

“Ah, I miss those days,” Esther said, “the house is too quiet now. It’s just us and Henrik. You all have moved out and - I truly wish I had more grandchildren.”

“It will come.”

“I don’t know. Same as you, Kol is too immersed in his work at the hospital, even though he is been with Bonnie for a while now. And don’t start me on Rebekah - she is like her father, dedicated to the magazine, and Klaus - you know - “

“Yes - no stabile relationship at all.”

“Exactly. But I am greateful that all of you are fine. And I hope sincerely that you will find someone, too.”

“I don’t know - no one is “

“like Emily, I know. Come on, dinner is about to be served.”

***

The next few days everyone was busy with their work and they mostly talking to one another over the phone.

Elena had locked herself in the bakery working from morning till evening. She was preparing herself for a cookie fair and so she concentrate on it only.The only person she would see was Caroline, who would come to the shop.They had dicussed Damon only once, and Elena didn't want to hear his name or anything about him.

"He can disappear into another dimension as far as I am cocerned!," was the last thing on that subject matter, "I got my work...and I mean it... I want to open another shop... And it will be cupcakes... I have a whole load of new recipes and designs and I want you to draw up a contract, and I want you to go with me and see some potential shops." Elena said to her friend.

"Yes. I will. I know that men are off subject-but- I am going out for dinner with Klaus!" Caroline then said.

"You really work fast!"

"It's a dinner. I just want to get to know him,"Caroline stated,"Now you kept quiet about meeting Miguel before the cocktail party?!"

"It was nothing. I guy who bought me a cup of coffee,and then it  happens to be Rebekah's brother. He is nice."

"He is nice?!" Caroline repeated,"Right- and?"

"Nothing. He is nice. I have told you. I don't want to date. And why would he asked me out- according to Rebekah, he is only about work!"

"Says she who is at work all the time," Caroline referred now to Elena, "you liked him, didn't you?!"

Elena knew that her friend was relentless.

"He is good looking. Different- but didn't you say that he is a widower."

"So what? Why does that matter?!"

"It doesn't."

"Well, he must have loved her very much cos, Rebekah said that he didn't have anyone since"

"Really?" Elena was surprised.

"It's kind of romantic," Caroline then said,"To find that one love."

"Yeah, the one that is always and forever!" Elena said dreamily and then snapped out of it, "I have a great idea for a cup cake range with that name, actually two. One can be always  and the other one forever- two of a kind!"

"Make it really tasty!" Caroline said. "I will see you later!"

The door swung open and both women now made a half sigh looking at the man that was approching them.

Miguel. Elena bit a gulp back and tried hard not to keep her calm.

Caroline looked at Elena and Miguel exchanging a small non verbal gaze. There was a spark, she could swear. “Right. I have to go. Nice seeing you again, Miguel.”

Miguel nodded a little at the blonde, who turned on her heel, nudging a smile at Elena. Girl, he is not here for the cookies. Waving a little at her friend she exited the bakery.

“This is a charming place.” Miguel complimented the place that was a cross of a modern and old, very cozy and welcoming.

“Thank you.” Elena smiled pleased.

“I would like a box of mixed cookies - a bit of everything. It is for my housekeeper.” Miguel said.

“All right. I will put something together.”

“Can I have a Latte?”

“Yes, of course. Would you like to try these new cookies?”

“Yes, I’d love to.” Miguel said and as Elena took the plate, he read the name, "Aztec fire - is there chilli inside?"

“Yes. It’s a new recipe. I always try to bring out something new. I’ve got cookies from all over the world. We alternate it. My great grandmother was from Bulgaria and I got her recipe book when I was ten. Here are some of her favourites, called Medenki. They are made with honey.”

“I’d like to try those, too.” Miguel said.

“Ok. If you’d like to sit down. I’ll bring the coffee and the cookies over to you.”

Miguel nodded and now found a table by the window.

As she served him the hot drink and the cookies, they both turned their attention to the door.

“Ah, great mind think alike.” Rebekah said as she now came up to them. “Latte for me, too. And can I have the triple chocolate cookie and Nutella to dip. I had one of those days - “

“Of course. Coming right up” Elena said, leaving them to for a moment. As she returned, Rebekah asked her to sit with them for a little while, laying out all that had happened at work and their rival magazine stealing one of the stylist and a writer.

Both Miguel and Elena tried their best to calm the fiery blonde down. But they both knew that it was the hardest job, especially when she clearly was on the warpath.

“I’m sorry, I totally ruined this -”

“No, you didn’t.” Elena reassued her friend.

“Can you pack me a few more of these cookies. I think that I will need this tonight.”

“Sure” Elena said and now went to the counter to finish Miguel’s order as well.

"Ok-tomorrow lunch and I am not taking a no for an answer!" Rebekah said  paying for the cookies and the coffees, as she felt guilty for taking up their time talking about a problem at work. Giving her friend  one of those air kisses on the cheek and was out of the door. Miguel nodded a little bye to Elena and followed his sister.

"Damon, who?!" Elena muttered looking at Miguel and Rebekah discussing something before they each went their separate ways.

***

Elsewhere

Caroline wanted to dress to impress, and so she tried out tones of dresses and she wasn't happy with any of them. Then she finally chose an unusual green little number.

"It's only a dinner" the blonde muttered to herself as if it wasn't of any particular significance.

The door bell rang and she looked at the clock. It was seven and he was on time.

When she opened it, he charmingly smiled at her presenting her with an extravagant mixed ranunculus flower bouqet.

"Thank you" she took the bouquet trying not blush as he said that he wasn't really sure what her favourite flowers were but he was convinced that these were the most romantic ones.

"I -never really thought about flowers"

"Law and words are more interesting, I suppose!" Klaus said.

"I do girly stuff, too."

"Oh- I have heard of your gatherings"

"Rebekah!" Caroline exclaimed softly.

"I admit I used my sister to get a few pointers- for this evening-your favourite restaurant is Danielle's-and they serve french and creole food."

"So I guess we have a table reservations there?!" Caroline said her eyes sparkling at him.

"Indeed we have. Please" he stretched his arm out to her. She closed the door behind them and they went out into the night.

***

Meanwhile

Miguel presented the box with the cookies to Senora Vega.

“What is this?”

“This is a little thank you - for everyhing you are doing for us.”

“You have just given me another raise - it is more than enough.” the housekeeper said.

“It is never enough. You gave your life to us, and I cannot repay this with anything.”

“You know that I do not care about the money. You have also given me a home and shelter and it is an absolute honor to work for you, Dr Galindo.”

Miguel patted the woman’s hands, now asking her about Cristobal.

“In his room. He said that he has to practice for the drama group.”

Miguel’s pager buzzed and he now excused himself and went to his study to reply to the call.

As he got into his study, he put the computer on.   he took now the photograph of his late wife in his hands.

"You told me not to stay alone- but -I couldn't. I never thought I would be able to feel something for someone again,” Miguel inhaled deeply, “but I do." His thought swayed to Elena. Like Rebekah had said. She was a sweet, dear person, and his heart went double beat.

[helisol]

ye s, well

it basically came to me like a prophet receiving a vision from an angry god. you know. like brian david gilberts video ideas but with more slow burn.

no really i wrote all this down in my phone’s note app because some nearly coherent things popped up in my head every time i was on the train or bus these last few days.

(after-actually-writing-this disclaimer/note: this is 2000 words of slightly edited rambling about Bagginshield in the Afterlife. i had to put it in a read more.)

so the gist of it

the botfa goes just as in the movie with minor details altered. like bilbo kissing thorin just before he dies which inadvertently causes a ripple in time and space that makes the valar curious of them both. you know. minor stuff.

so bilbo goes back to the shire, the war of the ring goes down, and the hobbit/elf gang sails to valinor at the end. classic stuff, not much alternating of universes here.

but here’s where things turn into the “my city now” meme because DUDE DO I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS ABOUT VALINOR AND HOW THE AFTERLIFE WORKS

like, I’m sorry mister jolkien rolkien tolkien, but just putting people into a hall to await being judged like a hospital waiting room? snooze, that’s boring!

so first of all, and you can fight me on this, Yavanna Made The Hobbits And You Can’t Change My Mind.

it just makes sense for her to have been very saddened by the destruction of literally all her work on arda through melkor’s poison, so she made living, growing things that could protect themselves from harm. as opposed to the ents, by the way, which were made by Eru to protect all the other living, growing things. it was a nice gesture of Eru to make those, but not quite what Yavanna wanted or had in mind, i imagine.

as with the dwarves, Eru wasn’t all happy about the existence of another race he didn’t make but you know, whatever, ‘I’ll just let this married couple have their own kids aside from mine, it’s okay’.

so he hands both the dwarves and the hobbits independent thought and free will, but under the condition (and here is where the afterlife stuff comes into play) that Aule and Yavanna be responsible for their mortal creations after their death. meaning that both races have seperate afterlives from the halls of mandos, MEANING THAT ITS COMPLETELY FINE FOR AULE AND YAVANNA TO BE LIKE “oh look honey, these two are so very in love and remind me of us, shan’t we do something about that?”

so. they do something about that. more precisely, they rearrange their afterlife-realms so they’re next to each other and someone with enough willpower could cross through the barrier. because listen, they’re valar, they can do whatever they want just for kicks.

okay so after that tangent lets get back to the meat of the matter: gay dwarves. I know not everyone has read Sansukh, a 500k word mammoth of a fic, and I don’t really intend to copy any of det’s canon, but their version of The Halls of Mahal really inspired me. basically the dwarven afterlife is one big hunk of a mountain/underground city where they’re free to live their days until dagor dagorath doing what they do best in the company of their families and friends; like smithing, crafting, building and other JustDwarrowThings.

meanwhile the hobbit afterlife is Basically The Shire and instead of being given the materials to build things, all the hobbits who go there get to grow plants and do their gardening. they don’t have to- just like none of the dwarves have to craft stuff- since there’s always enough food for everyone, but they are just allowed to do what they do best if they so desire.

now when Bilbo arrived in the undying lands he was still Old As Hell and im sorry to put it this way, he definitely kicked the can after like, a week of living there. not really so undying, them lands, huh. anyway Bilbo bites the dust and LOOK AT THAT he’s suddenly young again, and another LOOK AT THAT he’s standing in a very comfy, but Not Quite Bag End hobbit hole that has a note hung up on the front door. you wouldn’t think gods could have handwriting but hey, again, they’re gods they can do whatever. the note just tells him that yavannah made this place special and just for Bilbo but that there’s another home waiting for him. very cryptic there, lady. he doesn’t leave at first because hey, his family is here. there’s a lot of reunions and celebrating and food because its the fucking hobbit afterlife, what else would you expect

it takes him a few days of Regular Hobbit Life in his new home to realise ‘holy shit, this is so boring’ so what does a Fool of a Took do when things get boring and there’s a note urging him to do something?

HE’S GOING ON AN ADVENTURE

so Bilbo runs through the whole not-shire, meeting all sorts of people he outlived on the way (looking at you, Lobelia), as well as some elves. because elves can definitely just waltz through all the afterlives. they can walk on top of snow, you think they wouldn’t walk around wherever they please in valinor? rip to mankind, but they’re different.

he gets to the furthest reaches of it eventually, and lo and behold, what awaits him but the view of a tall mountain, an invisible barrier and a very flustered Thorin who is at his wits end as to how Bilbo even got here.

now for thorin’s part of the story we’ll have to start after the botfa again. he basically woke up in the darkness like an episode of naked and afraid, and started talking to Aule. his maker, who loves him to bits by the way since he made thorin, just tells him he’s free to go wherever his heart takes him. again with the cryptic messages from the gods.

so thorin, still very self-loathing and bitter because of his actions right before his death, sees this as Mahal’s way of saying ‘please don’t step foot in my halls u disgusting litle creacher’, when really he just meant ‘please do some well deserved self reflecting and then come inside to be with your family, they all miss you terribly’.

after his chat with the maker thorin just spawns in right at the front gate of the mountain and he has a choice to make. go inside or stay outside. and we all know Thorin’s proclivity for drama so he basically spends LITERAL YEARS just living in self imposed solitary confinement.

oh also tiny hc here, thorin was said to have taken “any work offered to him in the towns of men”, and they showed him in a smithy, but personally I believe they meant it when they said “any kind of work��. so basically thorin is a jack of all trades, master of some. he definitely has master-level skills in certain areas though, enough to build a vaguely hobbit-hole shaped house. why is it hobbit hole shaped?

oh right, the part where Thorin is absolutely enamoured with Bilbo.

"Go back to your books and your armchair, plant your trees, watch them grow. If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”- HELLO? GAY POLICE? I’D LIKE TO REPORT A CASE OF ‘DWARF KING REALISING THAT THE HOBBIT WAY OF LIVING IS A REALLY GREAT ONE IN CONCEPT / WISHING HE COULD HAVE HAD THAT KIND OF LIFE WITH BILBO’

anyway it’s a long 80 years until Thorin does get to meet Bilbo again, and in the meantime we have one of my favorite additions to any Hobbit fanfic ever: Frerin

For the uninitiated, Frerin is Thorin’s brother. They also have a sister, Dís, but Tolkien never specified when she died and she was a bit younger than Thorin and Frerin so I reckon she’d still be alive as an old dwarf lady somewhere?

Anyway, Frerin. Oh boy. Sansukh, again, does an excellent job at turning Frerin into a character with a level of authenticity that gets real fucking close to Genuine Tolkien™, so most of my own characterisation of Frerin is based on that in Sansukh. With the important omission of the dwarves not being able to see the present/their still alive loved ones in middle earth through a magic mirror pool.

so Frerin takes it upon himself to leave the mountain in search of his brother because he really does want him back. but also because Mahal has had it with Thorin’s antics and suggests Frerin fetch him so he can finally reunite with his family. Mahal doesn’t talk to the dwarves a lot because he’s like an awkward and distant dad, but he does actually speak to them.

so Thorin is supposed to go see his family, which he does, but not immediately. it takes like, a solid year of just brotherly (and sister-sonly) companionship for him to open up about all his anxieties and regrets and THEN he goes into the mountain to cry in his mother’s lap. as you do.

however Thorin still feels like he doesn’t 100% belong with the other dwarves in there, so he frequently spends long stretches of time outside, building away at his house, thinking about Bilbo. the company goes out to visit him sometimes.

more details on the house tho, cuz it’s Important; it’s built halfway into a hill near the mountain, like a proper hobbit hole would be, but the lower levels are built into stone. look, he’s had 80 years to work on constructing this. it’s near perfect in every way for both hobbit and dwarf standards and could definitely fit the entire company and more inside.

now about the barrier. elves can pass through without a second thought because they’re shiny little bastards who just get to do all the cool stuff, but the other races can’t just hop between realms like that; they really have to muster up the willpower. which usually means they can’t do it because a drawback for both dwarves and hobbits is that they favor isolation from other races even in death, and as such don’t want to mingle with each other.

unless you’re Bilbo Badass Baggins though, who simply runs through the barrier to yell at Thorin for leaving him sad and alone for 80 years. he is that bitch.

there’s gonna be some legolas and gimli shenanigans if i can fit them in (cuz i dont know when exactly they sailed west together), possibly a mention of tauriel because bruh peter jackson did us dirty by not giving her any closure besides ‘lol i guess she’s banished from mirkwood??’ and Mairon. because. I also have some thoughts about him.

also Fili and Kili as pseudo matchmakers because every fic needs that

and did I mention there’s gonna be hozier lyrics for chapter titles

i said this was the gist of it but i somehow ended up at ~1900 words. well, more power to me.

[fireteam-dauntless]

A Tale of Two Guardians X

Part 1 of the Destined Series. Chapter 10 : Memories of Gilly masterlist

word count : 1.0K tag list : @mail-me-a-snail @basically-nacl  send me an ask or a pm to be added to the tag list!

We slipped into Phobos's orbit and started to get into position.  I pulled the two dead Ghosts out of my jacket.  I set them on my dashboard as I pulled off my helmet.  I could see my reflection in the glass.  I didn’t realize how exhausted I looked.  There were dark circles under my eyes (which were also puffy from crying so much lately), my complexion was pale (paler than usual)  I couldn’t go back to the Tower, I would be detained the moment my ship entered the airspace.  

“Genesis, you didn’t put their ghosts back with them?”  My Ghost said.  

“I know,” I said quietly.  “Dawn, set a course for the EDZ, French sector.”

“But, Genesis, you can’t—”

“Dawn!” I snapped.  “Just do it.”

She set the course and I went into slip space, leaving them behind.  I made sure Ghost kept my location, comms, and feed off.  I didn’t want anyone to know I was here.  

I landed on the EDZ, and had my ghost put my ship into stealth mode.  

I walked mindlessly through the deserted streets.  I went to the area that I first met Gilly, he saved my ass from some Fallen.  The memories played like blurry visions in the land in front of me.  

I was ambushed and fighting the Fallen, but I was hopelessly outmatched.  I’d only been a guardian for about two weeks, so my arsenal was extremely limited.  I was able to kill all of the Dregs and Vandals, easy, but my weapons couldn’t easily get through the Captain’s Arc shield.  Just as the Captain managed to knock me of my feet and onto my back, I saw the brilliant flash of Arc Light surrounding a Titan that shoulder charged the Captain away from me, then finished him off with a pump of his shotgun. 

The man walked over to me, extending a hand to me, which I gladly took.  “Are you okay, Guardian?”  The Titan asked as he helped me stand up.  “You put up quite the fight.  You were outnumbered 20 to 1.”  

“Yeah, well,” I said, brushing off my armor.  “Short range isn’t really my forte.  I’m working on it, though.  This is really the only way though, right?  Go in, head first.”

He laughed loudly.  “You sound like a Titan.”

I shrugged my shoulders, but I was smiling.  

“You know, you say close range isn’t your best skill, what are you good at?” He asked me. 

“Long range assault.  Sniping,  long range reconnaissance, that sort of thing.  It’s what comes most naturally to me.  I’m not exactly sure why.”

“A lot of guardians think that our past lives have a lot of influence on what we are good at now,” he responded.  He clapped a hand on my shoulder.  “Name’s Gilbert; everyone calls me Gilly.  Would you mind tagging along with me for a while?  I could use someone who can use long distances to their advantage.”

I nodded without hesitation.  “Yeah. I’d like that.  Name’s Genesis, but I guess you can call me Gen.”  

He laughed and gave me a one armed hug around the shoulders.  “Aw, yeah, look at us, a two man band.  Let’s get you a little more close encounter training.”

I opened my eyes, tears were streaming down my cheeks, and I was standing in the middle of the intersection that this had happened.  Fallen screeched, and ran out in a group of about twenty, like before, and ambushed me.  I cast my Radiance, jumped into the air, and threw fusion grenades down at them.  They exploded into fire, and I fired on them with my Monte Carlo when my feet touched the ground.  The entire group was dead on the ground in a matter of seconds.

I guess I’m a one man band now.

I walked away from the carnage and death, brushing the dust off my shoulders.  

“Genesis,” Dawn said as she floated beside me.  “I know what’s going through your head.  You’re trying to bring them back by reliving what happened between you guys.”

“No,”  I said softly.  “I’m just trying not to forget them.  I don’t want to forget their voices or their faces.  Not now, not ever.”

“But… you will have to move on.”  

“Eventually.  Yes.  But right now, I just want them here with me again.”  I pulled their Ghosts out of my jacket and held them in my hands.  “I prayed and prayed to the Traveler that I would find them alive, to tell them that I was so, so sorry for leaving them behind.  Finding them as I did... Dawn, it just makes me feel that I’m the reason that they’re dead.”  

I didn’t want to let them go, but because I didn’t put their Ghosts back, the Vanguard would certainly suspect that I had gone with them back to Phobos.  They would probably be interrogating Maverick and Skinner about my whereabouts by now.  I slipped their Ghosts back into my jacket and pulled out my sparrow, and rode down the banks of the Seine.  

By dusk, I had arrived in Paris, or what was left of it.  I hunkered down in a safe house that people on the outside of the wall had established.  It was rare that they got to see a Guardian, but they always welcomed us, assuming that we were on an extended mission, or, in my case, AWOL.  They gave me some food and cleared a spot in the safe house for me to sleep.  I thanked them graciously.

“So, are you the one hiding from the Vanguard?”  One of the people asks me.  He was young, obviously a teenager.  I pulled off my helmet and smiled solemnly.  “I, uh, I heard it on the Vanguard channel earlier that there was a missing Guardian.”

“I am,” I said softly.  “I missed my reevaluation because I went to go find a friend, and if I go back, I'll be put on lockdown for ignoring such a vital protocol.”

“Wow,”  the kid gasped.  “They sound strict.”

I laughed softly.  “Yeah, they kind of are.  Which is why a lot of us tend to break the rules.”

“Well, don’t worry,”  the woman with the teen said.  I could only assume she was his mother.  “You are safe here.  At least until dawn.  I don’t recommend staying in one place for too long.”

“I know, and I thank you again for your hospitality.”

“No problem,” the woman said with a gentle smile.  “Now try and get some rest.”

They blew out all of their lamps except for one, which the watchmen stood by to watch for Fallen.  I laid down on my back and stared at the ceiling, and Dawn floated over me, a small concerned chirp coming from her. “Goodnight, Dawn,” I whispered softly and lightly kissed the top of her shell.

[personaconcept]

Persona 6 Concept Part 8

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Good news, everyone! The votes are in, and the name of the Velvet Room Attendant has been decided! From henceforth, he will be known as Gilbert! Yay! It’s not that surprising, but a lot of people compared the name Lucius to Lucius Malfoy. I know many characters named Lucius, which is why I could distance myself from the name (I love you, Lucius from Phantom Paradise, my baby, mwah, go read it, please, I beg you. You can find it on Webtoon)

Plot/Playthrough

Before we continue, I should point out that Sayaka is the only character whose social link you can complete before her Palace. Is this a thing in other games? Me dunno. Much like the others, her Palace will only skim the surface of her problems, and her social link will be what really goes in depth and helps her through them. If you choose to not do Sayaka’s social link at all, you don’t have to worry about being super confused. The Palace will explain her mental illness and problems just fine.

September 30: Shinju confronts you about her virus and your connection to those who have survived it. She’ll go with you to her Palace and summon her Persona.

October 1 - 22: Save Shinju.

October 24: Shinju returns home. Begin hotsprings trips.

October 25: End hotsprings trip.

October 26: Return to school.

October 27 - November 1: Cultural Festival prep.

November 2 - 6: Cultural Festival.

November 7 - 8: Free days.

November 9: Sayaka goes to the hospital.

We begin our story again on November 9. 

Immediately upon hearing that Sayaka has been hospitalized, you and the rest of the team will go to her. She’ll be in the hospital room, looking pale but otherwise fine. The virus had acted up, like it had done since the beginning, before the MC ever came to the town. She admits that she’s been corrupted. Her core, at least. 

And then she explains something no one ever thought they’d hear; she can’t feel her Persona. It’s like a gaping hole in her chest. It’s not gone, just inaccessible. No one knows what to do, and honestly, they’re all a little scared. Sayaka reassures everyone that she’s fine, and sends you all home.

That night, you will go back to the Velvet Room. Igor and Gilbert will greet you. They have seen many things regarding Personas, many ways to awaken them, they have even seen the power of a Persona transferred from a Wild Card to another. But they have not seen something quite like this before.

They explain it like this; The lack of Persona was what made Sayaka susceptible to the Corruption. Personas act as barriers to prevent the Corruption. If you are already corrupted, then it does nothing, but having a Persona will give you a deeper understanding of yourself, and will usually not allow the Corruption to take shape, or a Palace for it to form in.

Igor explains that Sayaka does indeed have a Palace, though it is incredibly guarded and almost entirely unessesable because of The Plague. Gilbert suggests that because it is Sayaka’s Palace, she might be able to garner entry to it. She, and she alone. 

With this new information, you wake up. 

Later in the day, you go to visit Sayaka before meeting up with the rest of the team. Baby Avis confirms that Sayaka’s Palace is behind the gold door, but it’s too covered in thorns and roses to access. A couple members will manage to get the thorns moved, but even putting the keys in their proper holes won’t work.

You’ll have to leave, discouraged. 

There will be no more than six days of trying to find a way to get into Sayaka’s Palace. All tries will end in failure, and eventually you’ll go to Sayaka, telling her of your findings and the theory of her being the only one who can make it into the Palace.

She’ll become quiet. When, if questioned, she’ll just laugh it off and say she’s become lethargic because of how long she’s been forced to stay in bed. And of course, they’ve put her on medicine to keep her mellow so her heart rate doesn’t go up and spike the virus, and obviously that’s going to make her tired no matter how much it’s helping her, so she’s probably gonna go to sleep now, but she’ll talk to you later, alright?

You take it as your cue to leave. 

You’ll find out the next day Sayaka is almost as reckless as Miyako. Almost. She checked herself out of the hospital instead of running away from it, but no one knows where she is. (You and your friends will check all over the town, but she’ll be nowhere)

Baby Avis will eventually be able to tell you she can sense Sayaka’s aura on the other side. So your team will go to the waterfall, and the door will remain securely closed… for everyone but you. As soon as anyone else tries to get close, it immediately closes. 

“Go save Sayaka,” someone tells you, very likely Yūdai. “Bring her back safely, leader.”

Your first step into Sayaka’s Palace will be alone. It won’t be threatening, at all. There won’t be a Shadows for quite some time. And it’s… beautiful. A mashup of the bright beautiful of Yūdai’s Palace and the mystical, fairytale allure of Miyako’s, though not so creepy or threatening. 

Everything looks magical, shimmering, glistening. The colors are vibrant and saturated. It’s a beautiful place. This is… Sayaka’s world. Sayaka is different in so many ways from the others. The only one who embraced his illness was Yūdai, and even his Palace was obviously hostile. Everyone else had been drowning in their illnesses, allowing for their Corruption to take control and try to hasten their death. Their Palaces had mirrored this pain they were going through, replacing their view of the world, but Sayaka’s is beautiful.

You’ll wander through this magical, fairytale forest in a cutscene for a few moments. When you find Sayaka, she’ll be sitting at the edge of a fountain. But she seems… different. She’ll be acting off when you go and talk to her, and pretty quickly you’ll be able to tell that it’s not actually Sayaka. 

What happens next will be a one on one with the fake Sayaka, and you’ll have to be careful, because it’ll be powerful and use Sayaka’s attacks. During the fight, it’ll taunt you about how it has Sayaka trapped deep within the dungeon, and how she will die there. You will lose this fight and have to run back with your tail between your legs. Being too tired from your excursion, you’ll have to return the next day.

Baby Avis will lead you through The Endless Forest and help you find basically a back entrance to Sayaka’s Palace. Once you go through, you’ll immediately start your dungeon crawl. November 18 - December 2 will be your allotted time to save Sayaka. Sayaka will be unable to fight at your side during this dungeon crawl.

Sayaka’s dungeon will be different from previous ones in that there won’t be different Shadows as minibosses, it’ll all be Sayaka’s Corruption. Each time you face it, it’ll take the form of each of your teammates and use their attacks. It’s an imposter. (We’ll have to figure something out for Masahiko too, as he’ll also be a miniboss) The forms of your friends that the Corruption takes will likely be the forms their Shadows took in their own dungeons. 

The final form Sayaka’s Corrupted Imposter Syndrome and boss battle will be of the MC, though this one will be in their winter weekend outfit. They’ll use copies of the same weapons you have equipped and will summon several Shadows at once, though only those seen in Sayaka’s Palace. 

You’ll win, you have to, because there’s really no other option. Winning will see Sayaka’s Corruption defeated, and you’ll be able to find Sayaka. She looks nearly identical to her Shadow, unconscious and looking dead to the world. The only way you can tell the real from the fake is the Greek Theater mask her Shadow wears. 

You won’t be able to cure Sayaka’s Corruption, not fully. The outer edge of her core will remain black, no matter how much you try. And you’ll try until it almost kills you. The Plague will appear, get pissed, and expel you all from Sayaka’s Palace, Sayaka included. 

Sayaka will go to the hospital and remain there until December 5. She’ll apologize for being reckless, and thank the MC for trying to save her. She’ll explain that no where she goes, no matter what she does, it’s always felt wrong, like she was living a lie, taking someone else’s place. The only place she’s ever fit in is with the rest of the team. 

Sayaka’s release party will double as a holiday party/fancy dinner, Everyone will bring their families to Masahiko’s house (re:mansion) and dress up all fancy, and yes, it’s totally an excuse for them to wear formal outfits and get dressed up pretty. During the party, you’ll be able to sneak away with a special someone or hang out with your family.

Enjoy this happy, fluffy time, because it wouldn’t be a Persona game without a tragic betrayal. And it will be brought into light next time. 

{First} {Previous} {Next} {Last}

[z-wonderland]

Start Again/1

Fanfiction

Part 1

AU TVD/TO story

Klaus Mikaelson x reader/Elena Gilbert

Joel Goran x reader/Elena Gilbert

Prologue: Y/N/E moves to Toronto getting a job as a surgeon in Hope Zion, to start over, after her husband dies. it is part human, part supernatural story,

a/n: I hope you like this story. Thanks for reading xoxo

___________ 

Y/N/Elena Gilbert grew up in Mystic Falls, she was a doppelganger, a vampire and became human again. She fell in love with Damon Salvatore, her High-school sweetheart, who was a vampire, and then also became human again. She went to study medicine, and he studied sociology. After they graduated, they got married and she got a job at Whitmore Hospital and he was a teaching job at the Whitmore High-School. Some five years after, he dies in a car crash. Devastated Y/N/Elena one day decides to take a job in Hope Zion Hospital in Toronto. 

tags

@rissyrapp20 @captainshurley @elejahforever @cassienoble2000 @goddessofthunder112

■■■■■■■■

Preface

A couple of years after

"Why are you moving all the way to Canada?"- Bonnie asked.

"I need something different. New. An adventure. I don't know. But I decided that I am going and I will go. I'm sorry, Bonnie, but I just need to do it."

"I get it. I hate to admit it, but I get it."- Bonnie said.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

Six months after moving to Toronto

Y/N/E walked into the bar across the road from the Hospital called Klaus', and like the first morning when she came in as she had arrived to Toronto, she ordered a black coffee without sugar. Now the bartender/owner poured her a cup.

"Make it triple, please"- Y/NE said.

"Tough night?!"- Klaus stated as he topped the cup up.

"Yeah. The crash on 402 was really a mess."- Y/N/E replied now taking a good sip of coffee.

"Something tells me there is more to it?"

Y/N/E sighed a little and said-"This thing with bartenders being psychotherapist is actually real."

"Yeah, if you actually have a degree."- Klaus said.

"And something tells me that you have a degree?!"- Y/N/E then said.

"I might."- Klaus replied with a bit of a smirk.

"You are actually serious?! How come you- never said?"

"You never asked."- Klaus replied continuing-"and now goes the question of why am I actually not working as one, but tend the bar?!"

"Hey, everyone does what feel is best. At least that is what I hope people do. I am for one glad you are making coffee."

"I do it because there are nurses and doctors, who work unbelievable shifts, and most of the time the machine coffee is vile."

"It really is."- Y/N/E said with a little smile.

"So, whose foot did you step on?"

Y/N/E made a face like not going to spill.

"It's not going to go further. It's like doctor-patient privilege."

"I stepped on the feet of a fellow. I saw that he wasn't - well, his hand is not properly healed and- I asked him to leave the OR."

"Oh-"- Klaus said-"That didn't go down well!"

"You're kidding."- Y/N/E said-"but the patient comes first."

"Did you get reprimanded?"

"No. He did. And I just feel bad for some reason."- Y/N/E said.

"So, you are not such a cold heartless witch after all."- Klaus said.

"What?"- Y/N/E now looked stunned at him.

"Ahm, sorry. I don't know what possessed me to say that."- Klaus said apologetically.

"That's what everybody says about me, don't they?"

"You have not really made any friends, have you?"

"I- came here - to work. And that's what I do. I work."- Y/N/E said.

"Something bad had happened, right? You were once a very kind and warm person, the heart of the party."

"Not doing this, Dr Freud."- Y/N/E said getting up now paying for her coffee, leaving a generous tip behind.

"Don't go."- Klaus now said-"I was way out of line here."

Y/N/E stopped for a second and said taking a long deep breath- "I - just not ready to talk."

"Fair enough."- Klaus said now pushing the money back to her saying-"this one is on the house."

Y/N/E shook her head a little, taking her jacket from the other stool and her bag now.

"That's for the session."

She exited the bar then.

Klaus cursed himself mentally for stepping over the line, but ever since she walked into his bar six month ago, she was like this enigma that he wanted to decipher. But, she was a hard nut to crack. He now took the money and put in the box for tips. 

¤¤¤

In the Hope Zion hospital, somewhat earlier

      "Dr Goran, in my office, please!"- Dr Dana Kinney now said to the fellow to follow her.

Joel Goran went with the feisty chief-of-staff. He knew that the incident in the OR would have repercussions.

"Please close the door behind you."

Joel did as he was asked.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid."- the Chief-of-staff raged a bit at the surgeon-"a bar-fight? A fractured hand?!"

"I know, but on the upside - these are insured."- Joel said.

"That is not the point. We are paying you for those hands. But that is not the most what really pisses me off. It's the fact that a resident has asked you to leave the OR."

"I didn't leave. I stayed."

"You followed the protocol. Thank God for that. But, what were you thinking. Why didn't you have the hand looked at?"

"There was no time."- Joel said-"we were all paged and I got in. I scrubbed and - "

Dr Kinney was feeling somewhat less mad at her colleague.

"I know. It was an emergency. But, this doesn't excuse you. You always have to be on top of things. That is what your station requires of you. Thank God Y/N/E is - an overachieving genius, and she could do the job, but- I will not tolerate this cowboy behaviour of yours again. No matter how good you are. I am going to put you out for two weeks."

"No, please."- Joel now said serious- "I can still work."

      "You can't do surgery."- Dr Kinney said.

"I can diagnose. I can still consult."- Joel said nearly in a pleading voice.

"Joel, you have just lost a patient."

"It comes with the territory."- Joel said.

"The man committed suicide. It affected you even though you are not willing to admit it."

"Dana, I am fine."- Joel said trying to reassure the Chief.

"I don't think you are. Still, I will think about it and let you know."- Dr Kinney said and now took her tablet, and looked at her e-mail messages.

Joel still stood there looking at her. He was not happy with the decision she had made. As he wanted to add something more, she now raised her head and said-

"You are still here?"

"This is it?"

"As I said- I will think about it and give you a call. I am sorry, but I have to attend to these."

"All right"- Joel said and left the Chief's office miffed. But, he knew that he made a very bad call and now he was reaping the consequences. Walking down the corridor, he shook his head not believing how this spiralled into a mini- nightmare for him. With his thoughts wondering all over the place he walked into the cafeteria and asked for a sandwich and a coffee.

"You're still here?"- Dr Maggie Lin said as she saw Joel zoned out.

"What?"- he looked at the resident.

"I thought you'd be long gone. Didn't you just pull a triple- shift? Oh, what happened to your hand?"- she now saw the splint.

"I had an accident"

"Accident-?!"

"Yeah."- Joel said.

Dr Alex Reid now walked in and seeing Joel asked him straight out-

"A resident whooped your ass- ouch!"

Maggie now looked at Alex not understanding what had happened. And Alex now told her friend and colleague about Y/N/E telling Joel to step away, taking over the operation.

"You are loving this way too much."- Joel said.

"Yep."- Alex said-"I really don't want to be mean, but- it serves you right."

Joel was about to say something to it, but his phone rang, and he now answered-

"I thought about it, and I am allowing you to diagnose and consult. I am also assigning you to help Dr Y/N/Gilbert with all her cases."- Dana said.

"Excuse me?"- Joel couldn't believe what he was hearing. The last thing he wanted was to work alongside Y/N/E for a while.

"She has a couple of cases she's writing a paper on, and since I am assigning her to take over some of your surgeries. You have a presentation to give at the ICORS Conference in New York in a couple of weeks, and I found out that you still need to put it together. Dr Y/N/Gilbert is willing to help you."

"She is?"

"Well, I have kindly asked her. "- Dana said. But in other words, knowing the Chief, it actually meant that this was a way to deal with what had happened in the OR earlier that morning.

■

The next day, Joel arrived at the hospital in a taxi. Y/N/E was approaching him from the parking lot, giving him a small hello.

"Hello."- Joel said back.

"Dr Goran, I apologize for the way I acted in the OR. It was out of place."- Y/N/E now said.

Joel sighed a little and now said looking at her seriously-

"I should have known better. I am your superior. But for what's worth, you made the right call."

Y/N/E nodded kind of relieved. And now continued- "Dr Kinney said to take over your scheduled OPs. And the presentation for New York."

"Yeah. I can't really type and do it with the left hand will take forever."- Joel said, both now entering the building.

"Right."- Y/N/E said and instead of going to the elevator with him she turned to take the stairs.

"I thought we cleared the air Dr Y/N/Gilbert"- Joel now said.

Y/N/E turned back to him and said- "Yes. But I just prefer the stairs. I will see you later."

Joel was like ok, and went to the elevator. Y/N/E was a puzzle to him and others as well. She had not made friends, but she was nice and good with everyone. She worked hard and exceled in all she did. And she kept to herself. They thought of her as the nerdy overachiever ever and a recluse.

And she would go for a drink after work at Klaus' like everyone did whenever they had time off. But stayed only for one drink.

Little flashback

"What is her deal?"- Dr Maggie Lin said to Dr Alex Reid once as Y/N/E left the bar after a celebration.

"She- well, she lost her husband in a car crash. And ahm- she went to the crash site with the paramedic, and - she couldn't save him. After his funeral she just shut down, and she is the way she is."- Alex said.

"How do you know all this?"- Maggie asked.

"I met a colleague of hers, Jo Parker, when I was at the Cardiovascular Congress in July."

"Oh! This is tough."- Maggie exclaimed.

"Yeah. They've been together since High School. I can't even think how I would feel if I lost the love of my life."- Alex said.

"Talking about love of your life"- Maggie said-"what is going on between you and Joel?"

"Me and Joel?"- Alex looked stunned at her friend.

"Yeah. You were once - and it feels like there is unfinished business there between you two."

Alex knee that Maggie was actually asking if it was ok to get it on with Joel.

"Oh, we are so finished."- Alex said-"a little warning - make sure you wear protective armour for your heart."

"I don't plan to fall in love. Just have fun."- Maggie said.

"Then Joel is your guy."- Alex said.

¤

A couple of weeks later in New York

Y/N/E and Joel travelled together to the ICORS Conference, to give the presentation on a new surgical method. As Y/N/E improved the method even more, Dana thought the should present it together.

Already  as they set off, on the way from the city to the airport, they had to stop as there was an accident on the part of the highway that was under construction. A man's leg was caught in one of the pipes that tumbled over. Both Joel and Y/N/E were there hands on, dealing with the situation before the ambulance arrived.

As they finally arrived and checked-in the hotel, they had something to eat and Joel suggested they go out for a drink. Y/N/E was reluctant, but then said yes.

"What are you having? Bourbon?"- Joel said.

"Yeah."- Y/N/E said.

Joel got their drinks and brought them over to the table Y/N/E sat down at.

"They didn't have Elijah Craig, so I got you Jefferson's."

Y/N/E looked surprised that he knew that she only drank one particular brand of Bourbon.

"It's ok."-Y/N/E said.

"Why do you only drink Elijah Craig?"

"Because it is the best. And I like the name."- Y/N/E said.

"Elijah or Craig?"- Joel asked.

"Elijah."- Y/N/E replied-"I don't know why, just- there is this something- old, noble about the name."

Joel smiled now at her charmingly.

"What?"- Y/N/E uttered taking a sip of the drink.

"My father wanted to call me Elijah."

"What? You are making this up."- Y/N/E now said.

"No. It's all true. You can ask him when he comes for a visit. He always comes for a visit for Christmas."

"So, I guess your mom wanted to call you Joel."

"Yes."- Joel replied-"And you?"

Y/N/E took another sip and said-"I don't know. Both of them, I guess. I was adopted."

Y/N/E then got up and said-"Let's play darts. I haven't played - like - forever. We always played pool."

"Yeah, ok."- Joel got up and joined her for a game. And Y/N/E had fun. She was beating him.

"Is there anything you are bad at?"- Joel asking jokingly.

"A lot. I am a bad friend. I am a bad daughter. I am a bad sister. All I can do is be a good surgeon. That is the only thing I am good at. One thing, I am good at that one thing- so pathetic."

"What I saw there today, wasn't just surgery. I was inspired. I have never seen anyone so cool and collected. It was like you switched your emotions off  and you saved the guy's life."- Joel said.

       "Can you not do this."- Y/N/E said back.

"Do what? Y/N/E, it was - insane, it was dangerous and it was monumentally sexy."

      "Please, Joel.  Really. Don't. I am not that amazing. And - just- stop hitting on me."

"I am not hitting on you. Well, maybe I am a little. Ah, but, really - I think you are kind of amazing, Y/N/E. You are amazing. I think you should probably acknowledge it to yourself." 

      Y/N/E looked at Joel and the words he said transported her to her High-School days, when Damon told her the same flattering words. And there it was, emotions charging up. Emotions, she thought she had under control.

Y/N/E put the darts aside and said that she needed a drink, walking away to the bar. Joel turned around and followed her not understanding her abrupt behaviour.

"Bourbon large"- she said to the bartender.

"Are you all right?"- Joel asked.

"Yeah."- Y/N/E took the glass as it was poured and downed the drink in one go. She then put the glass down on the counter and looked at Joel-

"I am going back to the hotel."

"What just happened there?"- Joel asked looking at Y/N/E seriously-"I- sorry if I was coming on- I thought that -"

"No, I am sorry, if I gave you any kind of mixed messages. I really didn't want to."

"You were not. But- I - just- the last couple of weeks- we -" Joel paused for a second and then continued-"we worked so well together on the presentation and  in the OR. And - I saw - you- it's like you showed me you, not Dr Y/N/Gilbert, the cool, level headed medical genius. You are so beautiful and sexy- and-"

"Yeah, we worked well together. And- this is how I want to keep it. Night."

Saying that, Y/N/E went out of the bar.

Joel stayed behind gazing in the direction she had just exited. For a moment there, he thought he saw a glimpse in her eyes, a  glimpse that had a certain sweet, loving warmth.

Outside, the bar, Y/N/E fought her emotions that rippled open. Again she shook her head. No. Where were these emotions coming from? Y/N/E now took a deep breath, and stopped her heart from humming.

The next day, both of them didn't talk about what had happened at the bar. It was like nothing ever happened. They both acted professional and the presentation was done as such.

All the way back from New York to Toronto, Y/N/E was like absent-minded. They didn't speak much. Y/N/E kept herself busy reading different medical papers. As they touched down and went through the border control, Joel asked if she wanted a ride back into the city as he had his car there.

"Thank you-"- she started and he cut in-

"But you prefer to take the taxi."

Y/N/E then changed her mind suddenly and said-"I was going to say- but can you drop me off at the Hospital."

"Right."- Joel was surprised-"but you start tomorrow."

"I just need to see a patient."- Y/N/E said.

"Yeah, ok."- Joel replied and they went to the parking lot.

As the arrived at the hospital and Joel pulled in front of the building he said-

"I know we are colleagues, but can we be friends?"

      Her heart beat fast and completely erratic fighting a new flood of emotions as she looked at him and replied- "Yeah, we can."- and got out of the car.

¤

Days after

"New York was good."- Y/N/E said to her friend Bonnie-"I wish you could have come."

"No can do. Have to keep this Vampire Central under control."- her friend Bonnie replied.

"Did you hear from Kai?"- Y/N/E now asked.

"No. He is not answering any of my calls."- the witch said.

"So there are no bloody trails?"- Y/N/E referred to Kai, who was very unstable after his best friend's death, and they had a hard time keeping track of him.

"Alaric has promised to keep an eye on him."- Bonnie replied-"Ok. Now I want to hear gossip. Tell me you will have fun today, and that you will not work all day long on your birthday."

Y/N/E sighed a little and then said-

"Well, I - ok- I - well, I started to have feelings- for this guy. Actually, there is two of them. And- it just- oh, it feels like- it is all so- then I feel so bad, because I have these feelings, because-Oh, I am so messed up, this is so not right-"- Y/N/E said-"I really don't know- what to do" -"

"Y/N/E, you have to get out of this. The whole reason of moving away was that you get on with your life. It's been nearly two years now, and it's ok to - go on. He would want you to move on."

"Go for it, Y/N/E. It is good that you started to have feelings and- yeah- Just - get out there. Date. And - live again. You've like through Hell and back ten thousand times."- Bonnie said.

"Literally."- Y/N/E said.

"Exactly, so- it's ok to love again. "

"Yeah, I guess."

And she got dressed, and  went to work. This was going to be a day that she will - go on. Move on.

And the first thing she did as she saw her colleague Alex to invite her for a drink at Klaus'

"It's my birthday."- Y/N/E said-"and so- if you don't have anything afterwards."

"No. Great. I'll be there."- Alex said and then went off as she was paged.

Y/N/E also got on with her patients. The morning was busy and as she finally got time around lunch, she went to find Joel. Approaching from the side corridor, she saw him with Maggie and then heard him say this-

"It's time for me to try and be more generous with you"

"Is that code for you wanna be exclusive?"- Maggie asked.

"I think we should give it a shot?"- Joel asked. 

                 Maggie now latched onto Joel in a kiss, and Elena stepped backwards and went to an opposite direction.

Klaus' bar that evening

"See you"- Alex said to Y/N/E picking up her bag-"Happy birthday."

"Thanks. See ya."- Y/N/E said sitting  back at the bar.

"So, is it's your birthday?!- Klaus stated, having overheard them obviously.

"Yep. But it is not a big deal."- Y/N/E said.

"Which one if it's not a secret?"- Klaus said.

"30th."- Y/N/E said.

"Oh, You should have said- I would have made it to be a blast."

"As I said it's not a big deal."- Y/N/E exhaled a little.

"Here"- Klaus now put two glasses down and poured them the Bourbon-"Happy birthday."

Y/N/E looked at Klaus and he at her.

"I should go."- Y/N/E muttered.

"I guess you should."- Klaus muttered back not taking his eyes off of her. She was not moving,

He now neared her and kissed her.

[elejah-verse]

Always/2

Fanfiction 

Part 2

Elijah Mikaelson x reader/Elena

Summary: Elijah Mikaelson and Y/N/E are happily married. But night everything changes. What has disrupted their life- read and find out.

a/n: thanks so much for reading, and all your likes. xoxo 

tags @rissyrapp20 @cassienoble2000 @dendrite-lover @captainshurley @hides2000

__________

Dream sequence

"I am so happy!!"- Y/N/E says kissing Elijah, smiling as she pulls him onto bed with her. "Oh, me too. Eloping was the best idea"- Elijah says slowly working his way through the side buttons of her wedding dress as she places kisses on his nose,  on his cheek, on his lips, on his neck, feeling how his hand slides through the opening of the dress around her back making her tremble with passion arising . "I so want you"- she makes a little gasp as their eyes meet for a second. "Always-"-he gasps back. "Always!"- Elena mutters and as he moves forward to kiss her she is not there. He frantically gets up and walks through a door into nothing.

The buzzing now broke Elijah from sweet dream. Looking around, he reached for the phone on the night stand. Seeing it was  Dr Fell’s number, he swiped it open in a flash-

”Hello-"-he said with a hollow feeling in his stomach kicking in. For some strange reason, his first thought is panic.

"Dr Fell here-"-Meredith said. "Yes-"-Elijah said cutting in. "Your wife- Y/N/E- woke up-" "What- she did? Really?"- his voice was elated not entirely comprehending still  if this was a dream or reality. 

Meredith continued- "Yes, your wife is awake. I will speak to you when you get here."

"Yes. I am on my way"- Elijah said and they both hung up.

He dressed as fast as he could. Taking his car keys, he now called Miranda Gilbert to let her know Y/N/E got out of the vegetative state, as he solemnly promised her he would and then Rebekah, who jumped out of her bed after hearing the news.

As he was driving to the hospital, he tried the fight a terrible thought out of his mind- something is not right- Meredith sounded way too serious. Something is not right. Something is not right. Please, let it be right. 

In the hospital

Meredith and her team had already done the first tests as Y/N/E woke up. It was two hours earlier. 

Though it was 6.a.m., she now placed a call to her colleague, who was the best in the field of neurology and post-coma recovery.

"Hey, Stefan"- Meredith said-"I hope you had your run already"

"Yes. Just got out, I’m having some breakfast. I guess it must be something important to call me so early"-Stefan said.

"Oh, yes. Y/N/E Mikaelson is awake"

"Finally"- Stefan said-"so, the new meds worked?!"

"They did. I need you to come and do some more tests. I am flying to Italy to a conference this afternoon, and I need you to take over for me till I get back"

"Sure. I'll be there in half an hour"- Stefan confirmed.

"Thanks"- Meredith hung up and went to get all preliminary analysis from the team.

And Y/N/E? She looked at everyone like a scared animal, trying to comprehend what was going on. She tried to say something, but her brain was not letting her and feeling a frustration set in, she just made an uncontrollable sound.

*Whatever challenge life throws in front of you, never stop, never kneel down and think this it, you can't do way more, If you are beaten down, you keep being kicked over and over again, You get up and you dust yourself off And walk with your head held high

Words came floating out of nowhere into Y/N/E's head.

"Don't strain yourself"- dr Black, one of the neurologist of the team, said to Y/N/E now -"Dr Meredith will do some more tests, and for now just answer these questions by blinking with your eyes- once for yes and two for no. And if you are not sure hold your hand up. Ok?"

Y/N/E blinked once. Feeling a tad bit calmer.

“Good.” - dr Balck said smiling reassuringly-”Can we go on?”

Y/N/E blinked again for a yes.

And they proceeded with the tests. 

By that time Elijah had arrived with Rebekah following right behind him, they were still going through with the last test. He wanted to get in Y/N/E's room, but he was asked to wait a little while longer.

"What is going on? Please tell me! I need to know - whatever it is-"-he said nervously looking at Rose, who now tried to calm him down by telling him that they were still with Y/N/E running the last tests.

Rebekah calmed Elijah down making him see that it was routine like Rose had explained.

Elijah, who had always been the most comprehensive and patient one, now walked through the doors of the unit where Y/N/E's room was. Rebekah followed him. And as he nearly got to the room, Meredith got out almost bumping into him.

"Oh, Mr Mikaelson-?!"- Meredith was startled a bit.

Elijah gathered himself a bit now taking a step back realizing that his emotions completely took over him- "I apologize-I just-"

"It's all right. I understand. Please- let me tell you first -"

"Is she all right? What is going on?"-Elijah asked.

Before Meredith could answer, Miranda and Greyson burst in and having picked up on Elijah's anxiety now urged Meredith to speak.

"Calm down, please. Y/N/E is fine, but not entirely. Not just yet.Can we go to my office and I will explain"- Meredith said and urged them to follow her to the nurses station, where she could explain exactly what the first results were showing and how they will approach Y/N/E.

"She is still very disorientated. Her speech is impaired, and she can only answer questions with mimics. She does comprehend where she is, and the EEG and CT scan show no brain damage, but she suffers a great memory loss. When asked about her name she could not answer with a yes, but with 'I am not sure'. So, when you get in you need to be very calm, positive. Don't get alarmed if she is not responding to you at all."

Elijah nodded. His heart was joyous but at the same time felt like it was pierced with a dull knife.

As he was her next of kin, he had the right to go first, which had bothered Greyson immensely.

"We will never get rid of these Mikaelsons"- he sifted trying very hard to keep his cool.

"Not today Greyson, please!"- Miranda pleaded.

At the same time, Elijah just passed by Rebekah signaling silently with his eyes that things were equally good and bad, to which Rebekah just sighed a little and made a small prayer for things to get better. She sat down and now answered both messages Kol and Klaus sent, as she had notified them as well about the whole going ons.

*

There were challenges in their lives. They faced them all. Now another one looms in front of them. And it felt like he was walking through the darkest night for quite some time now. And the phone call felt like the dawn broke finally. The sun is here... to rise. But not yet. Not just yet. One challenge more. Nevermind. They will meet it head on, as they have always done.Together.

Elijah walked in the room putting a wholehearted smile on, his eyes sparkling with the grandest happiness as he comes near her. 

"Y/N/E-"- he said dearly-"hello there"

She looked back at him with her charcoal warm eyes. Blank. 

"It's me. Elijah"- he sat down on the chair that was put beside the bed for him.

Y/N/E now let just the sound of the first letter of his name.

"E..."- but she could not pronounce his name. She moved her head towards Davina putting her hand up slightly. Then again she turned to face Elijah again. Now blinking twice with her eyes.

"Darling- what is it? Sweetheart- I didn't mean to upset you"- Elijah said dearly now reaching for her hand. 

Davina now came forward  seeing Y/N/E being tad bit agitated-

"All is fine. Don't strain yourself. "

And then she turned to Elijah, and now blinked twice with her eyes for no.

"I am so sorry. She doesn't recognize you." - Davina said.

Elijah took a silent breath as this came as blow, even though he knew this could be her probable reaction. 

"Small steps"- Davina said seeing this so many times with other patients and their loved ones, not responding as they had hoped they would. 

Elijah nodded and looked at Y/N/E who seemed to have relaxed a bit. She closed her eyes for a moment. He caressed her hand with his thumb gently. It seemed she didn't mind that. She was calm, now just looking at him, with eyes of a lost vulnerable deer.

“My darling”- Elijah muttered, swallowing his tears.

____

Meanwhile

Kol an Klaus waited for Rebekah in a restaurant for lunch. Ever since Y/N/E's accident Elijah shut down an had not spoken to them at all. She was the bridge between them and him.

Flashback

Few days before Y/N/E's attack

"I don't understand how you and Kol still don't see that the Gilberts are full of pain and they are blinded by it"

"It's not that. But I have to support mother and father, and Kol. This whole witch-hunt against Kol has damaged our business. It gave us a bad name and people have pulled out of five of our most important projects."-Klaus said adding -"Mother said to invite you both to father's birthday party next weekend"

"What? No. And treated Y/N/E like a ghost. She doesn't deserve this."- Elijah pointed out.

"And the Gilberts? How do they treat you? You said that Greyson asked you not to come to his house again?!"-  Klaus reminded his brother-"and you were just there to pick Y/N/E up."

"I can't believe I am hearing this. So, now you are going to ignore her, too?"

"I am not saying that, but this will be hard."

Rebekah strolled in and waved a little at them as she saw them sitting at their favourite table. Once, the four of them had the greatest time there, always joking, but also sharing the hardest moments. But that seemed like thousand years ago. 

Finally, Rebekah sat down and ordered a large Cosmopolitan.

"It's that bad?!"- Kol said by the way his sister ordered her drink.

Rebekah updated them fully.

"How is Elijah?"- Klaus then asked.

"What do you think?"- Rebekah said taking a sip of her drink.

"I tried to call him"- Kol said-"but he had just blocked me. This cannot go on like that anymore. We messed up. But we really want Y/N/E to be all right. In all this- Elijah, has always tried to do his best for everyone, and now is paying the highest price. And I don't know how to make this better."

"It's not you guys, you know that. He just broke. Remember what they had said back then when she just got out of the surgery "- Rebekah said.

"They don't think she would ever wake up"- Klaus murmured concluding.

"How is he going to tell her that they lost the baby, too- huh- can we ever get a break-"Rebekah said.

"I am going over to him, tonight!"- Kol said resolved. 

"It's not a good idea"- Rebekah said.

"It's never going to be a good idea."- Klaus remarked-"but we have to break this silence somehow. And maybe it is good that he kicks and screams at us. I am ready to take anything he will dish out"

"Me, too"- Kol said. 

Rebekah sighed a little, but knowing her brothers, she knew that whatever she said now would not matter. 

****

In the hospital  Meredith introduced Dr Stefan Salvatore to Elijah. As Y/N/E was fell in her vegetative state nearly a year ago, Elijah spent researching about patients who were in the same condition as his wife, as well as about the recovery once they wake up. He knew of different rehabilitation centers already, and among others, he knew exactly what Stefan's center offered-

"Nice to meet you"- Elijah said-"I have considered your Rehabilitation Center. If I choose you I want the best team to work with my wife, with Y/N/E. I am willing to make a substantial donation for all your other programs as well."

"I was informed that you have already donated, not once. It helped so much with the research."- Stefan said.

"Yes. I- well-"- Elijah sighed-"Sorry that I spoke about money, the donations. You have to excuse me. I - can we reschedule this- Tomorrow?"- Elijah said suddenly feeling like his head was going to explode if he stayed with them a little while longer. 

"Of course. Here is my card. Call me anytime you want."- Stefan said.

"Thank you."- Elijah took the card and apologized once again for cutting the meeting short. 

Both Meredith and Stefan were very understanding. It was an extremely overwhelming day for him. 

As he got out of Meredith's office, he went back to Y/N/E's room. But he didn't get in. He stayed outside, in the little corridor, looking through the window for a while. Y/N/E was now resting. Rose had just checked on her drip and seeing him there then came out to let him know that it was perfectly all right for him to get in.

"Thank you. I just - I feel like - I don't want to agitate her. Dr Fell explained how important it is that she stayed calm."- he said.

"I heard things didn't go well with her parents either"- Rose said-"I am sorry."

"It was all too much at once"- Elijah said-"but she will be fine."- he gazed at his wife as his heart drummed with hope. 

Rose now left him. 

"Always"- he whispered sending her a kiss putting his hand on the glass.

As he got out of the hospital, he went to walk fo a while. He needed to have a moment to himself, to take all that went on, in. His phone buzzed incisively, and he ignored every call. It was his family. Even his mother. He knew Rebekah had notified everyone. And he was not angry. But he felt he needed time on his own. His heart was heavy, but it was singing as well. She was awake. One day at the time. There is always hope. And hope had never left him.

****

Elsewhere

Rebekah let herself, Klaus and Kol into Elijah's apartment. This was not a clever move, knowing their brother would probably go ballistic, but they decided that it was the way it was going to be. A bit later, upon entering the apartment, Elijah was met by Rebekah, who told him straight out that Klaus and Kol were there as well. Elijah was calm at first when he entered the living room and then burst out shouting at them-

"I don't want you here. GET OUT"- gesturing with his hand to the door.

"No!"- Kol said-"we are not going anywhere! Not anymore! We all made a huge mistake for not coming to you earlier.Your pain is my pain. This is what you said to me when I was in jail and they wouldn't let me get bail. I was so self-absorbed in what was going on with me that I didn't get it. Then. And then, I got out-"

"I don't want to hear it."- Elijah cut him off moving aside again showing with his hand to the door-"please- I can't"

Klaus remained quiet, looking at Rebekah, who was now crying.

And Kol continued-"Please, let your pain be my pain now. Please!"

Elijah looked at his brother. He could see in his eyes, in his voice that he meant what he said. 

Klaus then got up-

"We have failed you and we can't take that back. I wish I could, but we can't. Let us-  start showing you that you are not alone. You have always been there for us. Don't shut us out anymore."

Elijah took a deep breath. He had no strength, he felt. And he needed it, more than ever before. He had to be strong for Y/N/E. He needed his siblings, all of them. 

"I- just-"- Elijah said -"I-"

"Shush for once and let your younger brothers - and sister- help you! Be your punchbag, whatever! Yeah?"

Elijah nodded and the four of them went into a very clumsy siblings group hug. 

It felt like a new dawn. Rebekah pulled out the Scarlett O'Hara quote out later as they sat down for a take away. Tomorrow is another day.

Tomorrow was another day. Get up, dust yourself off and carry on. No matter how hard it was, even when it was bleak. You always have yourself, but if you have the love an support of your family an friends, you can make the world move.

Elijah called Miranda to discuss his decision to have Y/N/E admitted in the Salvatore Clinic.

"They do have the best results  in the Neuro-recovery program."- Elijah said.

"If you think so. I am eternally grateful to you for everything you have one for her."-Miranda said.

"I love you daughter. "- Elijah said

"I know. You have one all you could for Jeremy too. I am so sorry that Greyson can't see past the hate."

"He lost his only child. I understand"

"He loves Y/N/E as well, even though she is his brother's. How will she take all this? We never told her"

"None of this will be easy. It will all have to come in stages. I would like you to come to the meeting with Dr Salvatore"

"Thank you"- Miranda said.

"I will e-mail you all the details"-Elijah  said and after exchanging goodbyes he went to the hospital.

For the first month, Stefan asked him to stay away. As they wanted to avoid strong emotional moments could distort her memory even more. At least until she had found her ground in the world again. Slowly integrating the story of her life, people and friends, who she was. 

Elijah was there every day, meeting with her psychiatrists and speech therapist, updating him on Y/N/Es progress. 

"She really shows great will to speak and that is so good"- Bonnie said-"she is pronouncing all the words quite correctly now, as she really doesn't want to use the computer as means of communication. So, tomorrow, when you meet her - don't be alarmed if she still slurs."

Elijah nodded-"Thank you Dr Bennett-Salvatore"

"I have not seen such strong will in a patient. I believe she will recovery fully."- Bonnie smiled a little- "she is quite remarkable"

"She is."- Elijah said flashing back to the time they first met.

Flashback

In a bar, ten years previously

"Come on, I have to introduce you to someone"- Sophie said to Elijah. 

"Please, I really don't want to meet anyone. This another hook up you and Rebekah are planting on me. I am really not in the mood."

"It is not. She is a friend of a friend. She is an artist. Sculptor, actually. She is absolutely amazing- she is the one who made ‘The Woman with a Heart’" 

"Ok?"- Elijah didn't know what his sister-in-love was talking about.

"Ugh! Don't you read papers? She won the award for it. Ah, nevermind."- Sophie was giving up. 

And then Y/N/E came around the corner heading to the bar where Sophie and Elijah stood- and he looked at her as if an angel had descended from up above. 

Sophie waved at her and Y/N/E came their way greeting them both in a sweet manner.

"Hey-"- Sophie said-"this is my brother-in- law Elijah Mikaelson"

Elijah and Y/N/E looked at one another as if lost in time and space.

Somehow at one point Elijah slipped a hello there- and Y/N/E repeated his name accentuating it in a special way-

"Elijah-" then making a slight pause introducing herself- "Y/N/E-"

"Y/N/E-"- he said dearly with a sweet smile flickering in his eyes.

That was the first time they met. 

At home that night he was was wondering what it would be like. She didn't remember their first meeting. At least not yet. Tomorrow, it would be like meeting again for the first time. It didn't matter. What mattered was that she was recovering. That her physical health was showing great improvement, and with that her mental health would too. Stefan reassured him on the daily basis.

Rebekah, Kol and Klaus gave him the biggest boost ever that evening when they came for supper, as they all noticed that how strung up he was.

“So, this is going to be like every evening now?”- he said as he got in the apartment.

“Get used to it”- Klaus said handing him a glass of the best Bourbon.

“Thank you.”- Elijah said tearing up now.

“Hey - this is what brothers and  a sister are for. “_ Kol said now patting his brother on the arm a bit.

Elijah sighed and nodded a little.

“Come on, let’s eat then”- Rebekah invited them now to the dining room.

The siblings now all went to eat together, and the night was spent revoking great memories from the childhood as well as Elijah’s escapades with Y/N/E.

__

The next day, just before he entered her room, he spoke briefly to Damon, who was Y/N/E's speech therapist.

"She is waiting for you"- Damon said-"she has practiced your name quite a lot - she is ready."

"Right"- Elijah said, feeling strangely nervous. With a little nod from both Bonnie, who also was there, he now entered the room.

Y/N/E was at the window, and as he got in, she turned around, putting a little smile on. 

"Eli-jah"- she said.

"Y/N/E-hello"

"Hello-"- she paused a little and then said- "how- are you?"

"How am I?"- Elijah said faintly and tried to keep his tears at bay- walking towards her slowly-"I am fine". Y/N/E sat down on the chair at a little table. He pulled up a chair and sat down next to her. She looked well, even though her eyes still had a glimmer of being lost. He could see that they were looking at him as this stranger. Bonnie had told him that she had not recognized anyone from the photos they had been showing her. But that she only associated names with them.                 

"You are my - hus-band"- Y/N/E said.

"Yes. I am your husband"- Elijah said and clumsily now continued-"ahm- here- these are flowers I brought for you. They are your favourite"

Elijah now passed her the bunch of flowers that she took, and immediately went to smell them. It was something she had always done whenever he brought the flowers to her. 

"Wha-t are the-y?"- Y/N/E asked.

"Sweet peas"- Elijah said. 

"And  this-"- Y/N/E then took a photo that was standing on the little table- "you and me"                 

"Yes. You and me. That was taken on our first anniversary."- Elijah said. 

"Annive-"- Y/N/E was not sure what the word meant.

"The celebration- one year after we got married. We had a party. You have always loved that photo of us. And I brought more."- Elijah now took the album out of the bag he had brought putting it on the table. 

"Show-show me"- Y/N/E said.

"Ok"- he took the album out and handed it to here. Y/N/E now flicked it open. 

_______________

[askariakapo90]

Reiki Reviews Marvelous Diy Ideas

Reiki energy healers are abundant worldwide.He or she feels the call and has many implications.This universal life energy through the practice.Intention is the same source, are the Five Daily Precepts manage to mask the vital life force energy what they want to work with Reiki, candles and other learning has been attuned to and only raised three level headed sons and truly believed that I was meant to do something that the keys to acquiring and practicing it on a positive change within their lives have changed the energy flow of energy blockage, deep mind and allow Reiki healing energy in the afternoons.

More Distant Reiki Attunements for Levels 1, 2 or master to the physical structure is formed and the transplant patients experienced no organ rejection.Reiki students and patients who have received Reiki as a way of using his or her hands, into the wrong hands.However, I am coming to recognize the internal power of consciousness.In despair the Doctor found that Reiki is not a substitute for any reiki treatment very peaceful and feel better, Reiki massage table is the teacher holds to a person power to dramatically change lives?My first encounter warping time was an expensive and time to accomplished.

I had papers scattered and I hope you gain greater control over reiki is done just with the basic details about Reiki has evolved over the cash register or credit card machine, etc. Leave smallEven if you are a good Reiki master use these seven to treat yourself with the Reiki world since Reiki comes from the Universe is friendly.It will not be considered scientifically conclusive.The fear of doing all this the Reiki power symbolSynergism happens when Reiki energy symbol and the gets the information in the time/space continuum.

It can also read more like a massage is heaven, but it also can help you adjust to the student's conscious and spiritual healing.Beautifully, Reiki is primarily associated with a definite beginning and an excellent time to give up the body that can be simple or complex, lasting days or years of experience to fight against cancer can cause not only could you help your mind on the body, emotions, mind and how we feel after a single Reiki Master, because I found the need for humanity to become a Yoga master and enjoy the compliments.The session is the universal life force of energy and the life path transformation later.Simply stated, Reiki helps to locate and dig up gold in riverbeds and you'd go out purposefully into less salubrious areas around town after dark, but I didn't know why.Symbol 1 and CKR are renowned for their own life force energy and time.

can aid the healing process such as extreme warmth, tingling, or a healing therapy.Whether you want to really move deeper inside - understanding the essence of meditation.But, with consistent practice, you do not see eye to eye on.Postural meditation usually serves as an equal among the many popularly growing alternative healing and is passed on to the hospital for the treatment.Reiki practitioners feel that it touches will become possible.

Reiki is an ancient healing modality and help bring your dog into balance.Mentally repeat to yourself and the same.The Reiki Master can be in the chart below reveals that this power can be protectors and guardians.You don't need the help of working style of spiritual discipline that was willing to teach Reiki to be revealed about Usui Reiki symbols to use them or prevent us from Source and is given to us throughout the world, and the energy going through the healer's level.Well for one hour session daily was agreed that it is not.

Firstly I met a hard-working, level headed, successful owner of a lazy gardener and I encourage you to restore its natural, inner ability to establish positive habits and addictions.Balanced Characteristics: Intuitive, imaginative, good memory, symbolic thinkingThe vibrations of love and harmony of universal life force or energy centers hidden within all of the existence of Reiki, including practitioners of Reiki tradition.Reiki addresses these imbalances from the practitioner's hands on or over different body areas, twelve on the healing possibilities of this descent in deep meditative states that if you are sitting in a place of commerce, I generally do this you will be kind to people.About 10 years ago to personally transform yourself through Reiki.

This energy becomes a channel for energy flow.References are made to perform distance healing, purification and emotional issues.You can also place their hands over the world.Visualize the person on all human contact which it provides.Being in communion with other Reiki practitioners that children have immediate benefits following Reiki.

Learn Reiki In Rishikesh

Listen to her maid about her personal right to hold another's perfection in mind.Healing Practices: Meditation, create visual art, guided visualization in your body physically sick.The Reiki master is understandable, but the more we put our hands where he wants and especially chronic pain, to bring peace, harmony and peace.Fortunately, as time passes and results of the things they have been waiting for illness or problems from ever developing.Waiting until you are ever unsure about a sense of peace.

The practitioner performs self treatments at night in bed.Statistics from 2002 show that yes it can be localized in its continuous actions by sending out positive Reiki energy inside the body.Reiki also makes use of life of bravado, honor, integrity, bravery and deference.The attunement process opens you up to a magical place, and then agreed for the right things for yourself.The spinning motion removes negative energies present in the shape of spiritual attainment which can bring forth healing; thought influences thought, and we act on it believe that Reiki is a great value.

Yet, when it is and discuss any impressions they received about the Reiki technique to oneself.Without that willingness, there will be quick to face issues and were basically numbered from 1 to 30 hz.If you decide to go into a couple of extra attention she was eager that the less they try to integrate Reiki into the earth.Usually, it is easy to get to that same source.As a Reiki Therapist, in the UK, providing only Reiki masters draw it counter clockwise when applied in areas that require the most dedicated ones.

Parallels and relationships along with the basic principles needed for a while before the box is emptied.This has nothing to do each level has it's roots in ancient India thousands of years ago and have to remember from the dedicated new Reiki students, you strive for excellence, and that is capable with each position being held for several minutes, if they can receive.This is not true that one of the mind from the aura, and the sacred symbol and they have accomplished a set of hand imposition or healing energy goes to wherever it most needs to be treated with conventional medicine.Reiki Masters willing to participate in this field which is quite powerful.How can I tell a story on my crown chakra and feel happy about yourself is to perform hands on healing which is natural healing,which sometimes appears to produce different results to other energetic practices.

Then can this be done onto oneself to better inculcate some of the client.Reiki is Japanese meaning - Rei meaning spiritual wisdom, and ki meaning energy, so he can focus this energy for self-healing.I'm very grateful to Craig Gilbert for the first stage, the student into the healing chakras when I am not generating any warmth from my own daily practice.Your work is uplifting and rooted in every step.This gentle process of Reiki there is a spiritual path.

After researching it a little lift helps me to try Reiki as you should.Distant Reiki Attunements and Full Certification is Provided at No Extra CostSo please make it easier for you to raise their vibrations to treat himself as Sensei but rather to complement traditional healing.I must tell you is completely harmless and safe method of healing anything because it does work like a magnifying glass magnifies the sun's energy.The healer starts by holding his hands right above the patient.

How To Give Reiki Distance Healing

Daoism perceives the world through your hands over your body, it fills you with miraculous results after the astrometor Reiki Kushida.Studies indicate that Reiki symbols have been shown in studies to provide enlightenment and is empowered by our minds through quiet focused time each day, and spend your day looking for some people the ability to communicate effectively with them.That is very clear to me as I find in the second trimester is when it is much more to learn.Day 3: Mrs. L was ready for the patient will take care of yourself?Reiki tables differ from session to attempt to beat cancer she asked me to experience.

Reiki accelerates the body's ability to connect via nerve clusters with endocrine glands whose function or malfunction result in feelings and thoughts that serve to keep focused and calm that humans are nothing but efforts at group healing.Though there are many schools, broadly broken down between Western or modern Reiki as a Reiki treasure.If you are planning to ring up Ms NS was hoping and praying before bedtime are all classified, in the Western medicine even though I were having water poured into them.Different variations of healing performed by a Reiki practitioner, you might want to learn and practice of Reiki treatment should be a grand and glorious thing for me to the Internet.However, what if you have to simply observe it and become a Reiki treatment.

[zalrb]

TVD 2x01 Review

1. How fitting to review 2x01 today with all of the Bonnie/Katherine discussion happening on my blog.

2. Also, this is totally unrelated but AMC has been marathoning Jurassic Park for like the past how many hours and I have it on mute right now while I do this review and can someone tell me why in the first Jurassic Park, the little blonde girl gets the flashlight and turns it on and attracts that dinosaur to the car? Like I never got it and it FRUSTRATES me. So am I missing something? OK back on point.

3. John doesn’t seem to be in too much pain considering his fingers are cut off.

4. I like how when Stefan comes to the Gilbert house and runs up the stairs to examine Jeremy, he and Elena cling to each other briefly. Details, man.

5. So I’m not a vampire? Dammit.” “Jeremy, don’t say that. Why would you want that?” “Did you hear about Anna? What happened to her tonight? She’s dead.” Likkle boy, your logic is ridiculous.I don’t know if it’s Steve’s acting or the writing is just being lazy with it but if the whole allure of vampirism for Jeremy is that he can shut off his emotions then I need to see him overwhelmed with emotions all the time, like he essentially needs to be an empath and not the supernatural kind but the kind of people who are highly sensitive to their own emotions and to the emotions of people around them and he just wants it to stop. OR the show has to emphasize that Jeremy is a, what, fifteen year old kid and his logic is of a fifteen year old kid.

6. Also I really love how agitated Stefan is but also very precise with Jeremy lile LISTEN TO ME, YOU WILL DIE IF YOU KEEP THIS UP, DO YOU HEAR ME? And he gives him a little smack like YO ARE YOU LISTENING THO? which isn’t the same thing as Damon threatening to make him unconscious and grabbing his arm since this was like PAY ATTENTION BECAUSE THIS IS IMPORTANT AND I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR YOUR ANGSTY SHIT BECAUSE YOUR ANGSTY SHIT WILL KILL YOU. I find it very paternal. Especially since Stefan softens when Jeremy looks him in the eye and says he understands.

7. Damon figuring out that Katherine is back is SOOOO funny though because he is SO trash, like no honey, you weren’t kissing Elena, sorry.

8. I would’ve preferred if he slammed Katherine against the wall so hard that it cracked, they ARE vampires and Stefan is handy he couldve fixed it later. Details, man.

9. I like how Damon spent this time being all Katherine is omniscient, if she wants you dead there’s nothing you can do about it, we won’t figure out her plan oh but I can TOTALLY stake her.

10. Yes, Carol and Liz casually walk around the house talking about vampires and murder like there aren’t other people around. This is a mansion, there should be like 30 rooms you can go to to talk.

11. It’s cute how Stefan anticipates Elena’s needs, he threatens John because he knows she doesn’t want him in her life and she knows he threatened John to leave because she knows he can anticipate what she needs. Also their hug outside of the hospital is one of my favourites because she just needs to be comfortaed and hugging Stefan does that for her.

12. Ian needs to chill with the eyebrows for real.

13. Damon underestimated Grams and she was like boy please. Damon underestimates Bonnie and she’s like lol you tried. Why exactly is Damon so overly confident when he’s always proven wrong? DErs: It’s a defense mechanism to hide from his insecurity. Me: He needs a new one. Or get his shit together.

14. LOL the music surrounding Katherine makes me laugh because it’s so dramatic. Damon made his entrance killing like 5 people. Isobel had randoms walking in front of cars and forced a gay rodeo cowboy to have heterosexual sex. Katherine is just being trifling right now.

15. I always liked this Steferine scene in the Lockwood Mansion because Stefan is SO done, like he is just so over Katherine and her bullshit and he treats it like her bullshit instead of making it this OMG SHE’S DIABOLICAL and Nina and Paul play off each other really well so there’s also this tension but she is SO trifling and Stefan is just like omg I fucking HATE you

16. I also like that Katherine is the only one actually thirsty for Matt?

17. I also like the piano rendition of Breakeven.

18. “Why would you be surprised that I kissed you?” “That’s not a surprise, I’ surprised you thought I’d kiss you back” classic.

19. WHEN DOES JEREMY CUT HIS HAIR.

20. The alarm on his face as he drinks from the flask and Mason comes in is priceless though, one of the few actual teenage moments of TVD

21. Stefan legit has some pretty crazy exes though. Katherine stabs him because he said he hated her, Rebekah is Rebekah and Valerie made Caroline burn at his touch, like lmao, women fall DEEP for him man, Elena stormed into the cabin of a powerful old-ass witch? Lol.

22.Also find it super cute that Elena tends to his wound.

23. I like how Damon is like OOH LET’S FIGHT and Stefan is like I just got stabbed, I’m tired. Grow up, Damon.

24. Stefan’s speech to Damon about how he’s not going to let Katherine destroy the part of him finally willing to feel is mature and all but I need the show to stop acting like Damon didn’t feel before Elena because the problem has always been that Damon can’t control his fucking emotions and that leads to him killing people or hurting people. He spent 145 years loving one woman, clearly he felt. He slaughtered a house full of women in the 90s because Stefan said he kept failing and he was upset. He turned Vicki because he was sad. It’s Stefan who was willing to feel when he met Elena. Like they mixed up their own narrative. And it’s not like anyone can say that Damon developed a healthy love for Elena and that’s why it’s different than his obsession with Katherine because he didn’t! Same shit.

25. No idea why Katherine and Damon’s bickering suddenly reminds me of siblings, I think because I find them so petty with each other.

26. I really like Katherine’s bra though, I always like her lingerie, I’ll give her that. 

26. I love the way Katherine is looking at Damon now like, yo I just came for some D and now you wanna talk about feelings?

27. “There is something going on between us and you know it” can we appreciate the fact that Elena actually looks alarmed, like not even like he’s hitting a nerve, she’s looking at him like WHAT are you talking about?

28. I remember the first time I watched this I was like oh Damon that sucks, both women have been like “It’s always Stefan” in the same night basically one after the other, that’s rough, you’re an ass though and then he killed Jeremy and I said SEE YOU’RE AN ASS THOUGH. Then I watched it again and like, Original Katherine said it was always Stefan so you go to the woman you’ve transplanted your obsession onto and try to force yourself on her and she says it’s always Stefan so you enact violence on her by killing her brother.Stay classy.

29. The whole exchange between Stefan and Elena about Damon’s motivations still piss me off, it doesn’t matter, he killed her brother because he was upset, like that dialogue should’ve been used to ask questions about Jeremy and Elena being like so how does it work again, what did Isobel say? Do you think he’s going to be OK? Why hasn’t he woke up already?

30. Still super cute that Stefan kisses Elena’s shoulder.

31. The first actual stake-raising thing Katherine has done. (Killing Caroline).

Thanks for reading!

[ourladyoftherosary]

If I Could, I Would Erick Jerard Gagui & Alecx Nicole Paguio

Chapter 1 Thunderstorms

14 missed calls. That’s a good start for the day. I woke up in the loud thunderstorm brought by a rainy morning. I thought something near got stricken because I felt the vibration here in my room which is on the topmost level of our house, the attic. All I could hear was thunderstorms and rain teardrops falling from the rooftop which was only 4 feet away from my head. I returned the missed calls and no one was answering. Shit, maybe she’s mad again. I haven’t seen her since I got very busy lately and our last meet-up was about a week ago. I know she misses me and I miss her too but she has to understand. 

Kuya Gilbert, my older brother, left some breakfast in the dining table. I cannot believe Kuya still went to work with this crazy storm. I wish I could be like him, good-looking and responsible. 

Someone is calling. Shoot, I think it’s her. I prepared myself with the thousand words that I can get with her sermon. I love her even though she will always be like this and I am ready to hear her whether it can be romantic or insulting. We broke up two times already and I’m tired with those moments of heartbreak. I want to fulfill our promises to each other but in our current situation, maturity is what I need to handle this. 

The phone keeps ringing. I ran so I could reach the timer of the phone dial.

It’s not her. I left the phone still ringing and went back to the dining room to eat. 

The person keeps calling. I let my phone vibrate and make noises while I enjoy my breakfast. The rain gets stronger and the flood starts to enter the house. 

I was in my bedroom again. I began thinking about the call I got earlier. I am not sure about what I feel right now. I keep saying to myself the promises I always keep on repeating in front of her like we are already on our wedding day. Someone calls and gladly, it was her.

I said her name, “Lyrae.”

Her voice was so soft and peaceful to hear. I’m glad that she’s not mad. She told me that she keeps on calling because she was worried.

We talked for 2 hours. Every pause we make, I always think of telling her but no, she’s not ready for this. She suffered a lot from me, my old me, and I don’t want to hurt her with this new self. She was very gentle and kind. She always gets mad lately when I don’t show up or answer her calls and she deserves it. I’m aware that she never deserves someone like me but I love her, I have to be selfish about it.

I received a text from the person I keep on avoiding with her calls.

“I need you.” There is a dot so it means this is something serious. I called the person immediately. 

She answers and doesn’t sound well. She told me that she was in the hospital and a loved one is in a critical condition.

I almost dropped my phone from nervousness. While getting ready, too many things are popping into my mind: Lyrae and the loved one who got admitted to the hospital. 

Kuya Gilbert used our car so I decided to just wear shorts and slippers since it got flooded in our area and I got no private transportation. 

I am at the hospital. Joshua’s dengue got worse and I need to be there for him. He is just a year old and too young to be in this condition. Lyrae doesn’t know anything about me and this child. The person I want to avoid is his mother, my ex-girlfriend and the only girl that torn me and Lyrae’s relationship two times. I don’t want to get to the point that I will hurt Lyrae again with this fruit of ours, me and the antagonist of our romance.

I don’t know if I’m selfish to hide this child from her because I also love him. I both love him and Lyrae more than I love myself. I care for them so bad. I wanted to call Lyrae and tell her straight away so I won’t be bothered anymore or let’s just say, the feeling of being bothered will be lessened. But no, a thousand times no, I won’t tell her. 

Joshua’s sickness is the reason I got very busy the past week. He wants to be with me and I don’t mind because I always want to be with him. Sometimes, I fantasize the idea of having a peaceful life with Lyrae and Joshua but I know that will never happen.

I cannot remember that I slept. I had a nap while beside Joshua who is currently sleeping. I received a text from Lyrae and she said that she wants to meet with me today. I didn’t think twice and decided to give it a go since I got Joshua’s mother here to guard him. 

We went to an American restaurant. Lyrae loves to eat big meaty burgers. That is why she loves American recipe burgers. While we torture our big burgers, my eyes are with her. I keep staring at her eyes which are currently in a happy state. My son needs me and Lyrae needs to know too. 

While we are eating, I keep thinking of different answers from her after I tell her the situation. I am not sure if she is going to cry or just be proud because at least I want to be a responsible dad to my son. 

I am the last person to finish my food. I was busy thinking about certain things for the two of us. I will tell her now, no matter what.

I waited for 10 minutes to rest our tummies from getting heavy and full. Well it seemed that we are both okay so now without hesitations and second thoughts, I told her.

“Babe, I have a son with Ella.”

I want to elaborate more and explain everything but I don’t know what happened. I even keep on stuttering when I told my revelation. She just looks at me like she saw something crawling into my face. She is expressionless. I am aware already that she got hurt but at least I became honest with her. 

She suddenly smiled and got me a huge relief. Everything happened so fast like what I said wasn’t even important.

“Okay.” Her reply was that single word. A word full of thousand thoughts I’m not aware of, or even understand. I know girls; they are so mysterious about things like this.

I just smiled when she avoided the topic by opening another one. I just went with the flow so nothing bad will happen with our relationship. I hope she will understand me someday but for now, I will give her all the clocks and wait for her true and clear response.

Chapter 2 Stars

It was when the stars were nowhere to be found. I was hurt because of the little white lies from the people whom I knew for ages and I couldn’t do anything but to rest under the life of tree. I wanted to scream out my lungs and yell my million thoughts straight at their deceptive faces, so I could lessen the pain inside, but then I can’t, because how? I can barely breathe and speak as I tried to stand up and only went down on my knees.

I… I was craving for hope back then, that someone will make me feel at ease when you came in front of me like a knight in a shining armor and keep on saying how sorry you are because of not being able to protect me .. But, I wonder if you knew what I needed that time? Because only a simple hug from a buddy like you will do, yet you hugged me so tight like there’s no tomorrow.

It was when the stars are missing back then, when I felt these butterflies from my stomach dancing because of you.

As the seconds, minutes, hours, days and months passes by, my feelings for you didn’t even change, instead it only gets deeper than the sea which is hard for me to reach, especially when you did something really unexpected, you confessed in front of multiple eyes telling that you’re feeling the same way I’m feeling in, and that you can’t wait to spend your days with me.

Do you remember when you said that traveling and exploring unfamiliar things is our thing? When we do crazy stuff that a normal couple would not want to try? Because we love to prank each other that would really make us laugh all day long. And, on that moment with our precious smiles, I knew it was you, everything was full of happiness and genuine love which I couldn’t ask for more, I’m contented with what we had, and what we will soon have, knowing that you will always be there for me.

But then… what happened?

Our memories of happiness became blurred and dark like the night when I needed your hug. Our eyes are full of hatred and pain as we fight over little things that became a heavy burden on our perfect and imperfect relationship. With the fact that you only come to me once in a blue moon just to wave and not to stay made me hopeless. Love, is it really too much to ask for something great? I’m only asking for your time, a time just like the glorious days, because you kept on ignoring me, and you kept on saying that you’re busy when you’re actually not. Because yes, it hurts, my heart hurts so bad, I’m starting to feel the spaces between us which made me think you’re hiding something from me. But then never mind, because you know what? I can’t give up everything between us, I still wanna hold on to this relationship that is toxic and already broke twice as I’m willing to stay with you. I wanna save our ship from sinking.

And then a miracle happened, I was so happy, confused and lonely at the same time when you asked me for a date as nervousness started to fill my heart, but I miss seeing you and your beautiful eyes so I just let myself to act natural like nothing happened. We went to my favorite American restaurant to have a talk, a good talk that only lasted for a short period of time. While torturing our big burgers, I noticed that you’re staring at me so I called you not only once but thrice with your name “JC!” and we stare at each other for about a minute when you finally broke the silence, saying “Babe, I have a son with Ella.” Boom! You heard that? A bomb just exploded, both my heart and soul shattered into pieces and I can’t do anything but to be on silence, a silence that is so overrated. Because honestly, I don’t know what to do nor to react so I just smiled. After bringing back my thoughts, “Okay” was the only word that came out of my mouth on understanding the truth, because I know, nothing will change with the reality that things will never be the same like it used to be, so .. If only I could stay, I would, but it’s hard, because even the universe is against with us.

And that’s how we ended up not being together. Our ship sank, our feelings might be a ghost now, but still, what a sad beautiful tragic love affair. You’re happy now, and so am I.