#Yeah so anyways nap time
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Time for a game called "Taking a nap with an alarm set 2 minutes before the ksmp lore later"
#Last time I did this I think was the clownzy stream and that one I woke up late to#And it was.#Yeah so anyways nap time#And then I'm probably going back to sleep for a few after that gonna be real#《♥️》
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Girlhood is a spectrum: biblicially accurate angel <--> gregor samsa
#i saw this on pinterst and had to put it here like a sticker in my journal#its a spectrum that fluctuates with the passage of time#absolute mood#letters to myself#chaotic academia#franz kafka#on religion#on faith#biblically accurate angel#gregor samsa#metamorphosis#kafkaesque#HAHAHAH OMG KAFKAESQUE#anyway yeah; tis the vibe#meme#media#anderson don’t talk out loud. you lower the iqueue of the whole street.#SO MANY TAGS WHAT appologies#okay back to study i just needed a snack+nap+pinterest break#girlhood is a spectrum
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having a stressful time at work but i think it's very important to point out the other day i was asking a guy for help and he's like aight gotcha and then we go to this freezer room and he, from somewhere beyond a mound of boxes, just goes "you like anime right?"
sir this is the FIRST TIME we have spoken how did you clock that.
(he claims i had the vibes of someone who liked it then i was like oh like the woman in the deli wearing a jujutsu- and before i can finish the series name he says "no not her, she just liked the shirt. she's never watched anime". . . oh. i see. you have already had this debate with her then. okay.)
EDIT UPDATE:
So I got clocked AGAIN as a weeb by a coworker because I saw part of her outfit and was like "oh, Attack on Titan?" and while I then said I've never watched it she said that's fair then "do you know anything about vtubers?" and I just. Are you kidding me. I mean yeah but like. Why is your safe question with me "do you know about vtubers".
WHAT AURA DO I BRING TO A GROCERY STORE TO BE CALLED OUT LIKE THIS?
#moe talks a lot#not art#also im trying to swap from pick up to stocking and specifically dairy stocking#bc they seem to always have the hardest time keeping things stocked#and all of pick up has to stop them from working to ask for things in the back which keeps things from getting stocked#and this one guy made a terrible mistake of telling me#yeah we're like the unwanted ginger stepkids of the grocery store#because my brain immediately went NO IM ADOPTING THE DAIRY DEPARTMENT AS MY BELOVED GINGER KIDS#i told my mom that comment and she immediately laughed and said welp thats your department now#before i could even tell her i mentally adopted them#anyway gotta get to bed soon bc i do actually think i was a bit sick ? im so tired despite napping earlier#and only working a partial shift (five hours instead of eight)#sooooo gotta get rested up for the next three (or more!) days#since ive been cursed with no social life and will always work saturday and sunday#so even though my current schedule ends saturday and the next week schedule will be released At Some Point for sunday onward#i have yet to have a sunday off so i am most likely working sunday again#like the job itself is rough and i dont think the pick up workers like me much but every other department seems v nice and chill#i will continue to write essays in the tags no one can stop me
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Pet store clerk gives Charles a bag of free treats for his ""dog"" all while Charles can feel Erik Looming in the BG
the real mortifying day is after months of getting small bags of dog treats one day the bag of dog treats has like. perfectly normal human candies/pastries or something inside
Of Course charles is confused and impulsively asks what it is/how it's different from the usual only for the clerk to reply theyre Whatever Erik's Favorite Treat Is and its that day forward erik is adamant they just do their shopping online
#snap chats#clerk fully provides this information straight faced. by the way. and still pointing out those are for “”“”“The Dog”“”“”“”“#inviting all of you to assume the three of them became Vaguely Acquainted while charles and erik were fran shopping#like you know how you just happen to do small talk while at the store. at least five months of accidental small talk has led to this moment#'oh yeah i know these are his favorite- [Insert Food Here] right' and charles doesnt have to turn around or probe eriks mind#to know he's itching to leave the store but he cant just do that lest he validate this clerks suspicions#charles absolutely wants to try to laugh it off and tell the clerk he cant give these to his dog but the clerk Just Stares#they dont gotta say anything else ... charles dont gotta read their mind ... he wont argue he'll just swallow his shame and take the goods#anyways ... if anyone needs me ... im gonna succumd to the 3PM nap#i almost made it to 4 but alas ... i am sleepy ... then im gonna work SO im done answering asks for the evening#maybe ill answer some more tonight but i really have to focus. after my nap BYYYYEEEE#im gonna giggle about this new scenario tho ... Cherik Pet Shenanigans Somehow Getting Goofier Than Previously Thought#will have to do more thinkings of that down the line .... for now nap time 😴 cause i repeat i am five years old 😴
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Melotober - Day 23 - Honey
I wonder where the kids have gone...
#Melotober#Listen. I knew this prompt was either 'I be a big sap' or 'I draw something stupid'. Frank and I decided 'BOTH'#Rune Factory#Rune Factory 2#RF2#Rune Factory Kyle#RF Kyle#Rune Factory Rosalind#RF Rosalind#Rune Factory Aaron#RF Aaron#Rune Factory Aria#RF Aria#This is a decision I am glad Frank encouraged me to make- to do both. We do not compromise ideas just to 'catch up'#I get to draw my RF2 otp?? family?? YES.#But YEAH I just. Definitely one of the first visions I had when looking at the prompts. Nice sweet conversation. Screaming incoming#THE WASPS ARE SO HUGE IN THE GAMES I HATE IT.#I will say one thing I have learned during this challenge is I am getting a fun little way to do depth in trees and I'm like...#okay I need to use this later#anyway time to nap a lil before work#Margot's RF Art
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yall Im so fucking tired. This month has been exhausting. I promise Im alive, just barely functional atm.
#personal#rant below#begining of the month docs said dad had less than a month. Hes still around but declining#been taking care of him and my mom#along with working full time#and my boyfriend doing his damndest to keep me busy when Im not helping with dad#which is great except Im so tired#but also I havent been able to sleep much#and I've lost my appetite which apparently is a grief thing I didn't know about#So I've managed to get all the physical grief symptoms and it is taking a fucking toll#so your girl is sleeping in tomorrow and spending the day doing my own little crafts and avoiding people as much as I can#a girl just wants some sleep and a fulfilling snack but all she is being given are slight naps and unappealing food. send help.#anyways after this experience Ive decided that I no longer give any fucks because you only live once so Im just gonna do what I want foreve#and actually live life instead of being constrained by societal standards#after all this is over of course. gotta take care of dad first#also I got to paint the door because he was sick of staring at the porch. so its a lake view now#woooo#yeah so thats my life update for you all#also I saw a girl for the first time in 9 years today who completely changed the tradgetory of my life and didn't know it. so that was fun.#exhausing but fun#also idgaf about spelling right now I am running on caffeine and pure will power atm
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summer is over
#I LIED THE LAST TIME I SAID I'LL PROB NEVER POST FANART AGAIN#cropping or screenshotting makes the resolution go shit but i don't have another choice#(i think)#SUMMER ENDED AND I NEEDED TO VIKTUURI ON A SUMMER VACATION#so here's another thumb piece#i can't stop giving viktor those gold bracelets THEY'VE BEEN HAUNTING ME SINCE THE MOMENT I SAW THAT OFFICIAL ART#he needs them#i need to see him wearing them#yeah yuuri is looking at his lovely and pretty husband <3#aaand post swimming victuuri#real ones know that post swimming nap hits different 💯💯#don't worry guys they have nectarins and water#all the essential things to survive#anyway ate one today it was DELICIOUS#ok i'm done#BYEEE#yuri on ice#fanart#victuuri#my brain is not working at midnight i swear#*i needed to draw viktuuri
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remind me to update this later but. pwyw commissions are very much open right now lol :')
all the usual money stuff (ppal, vnmo, cshapp, kofi) is Colorstormx, send a ref with anything over like $5 and I'll draw you something
you can also reply here, dm me, or email me at colorstormx @ gmail if you want to plan out something more specific. my art tag here is #colorstormxart, I need to post more stuff+ get things set up properly but hey! better to post now while I'm thinking about it than to leave it to rot in a forgotten draft, y'know?
#gotta love it when the cat needs a vet visit (her eyelid is swollen :( ) at the same time the car needs an oil change + other tune ups#on top of work hours being stupid and other more predictable bills#I mean we're not in immediate danger at the moment thank god but. ugh.#the money anxiety is real rn#so uh! yeah.#anyway I'll try to make a better post later but for now my head is killing me and I should take a nap#the snowjag speaks
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guess what I got from the mail today! ꉂꉂ ( ˆᴗˆ )
#i was gonna post this earlier but I was kinda tired from work and took a nap instead lol#anyways yeah I had like 1700ish platinum points just sitting around collecting dust#so i was like ykw fuck it lemme get the silly little grand festival bracelet since it was only for 300 points#(good thing I got it too that thing sold out so quickly omg)#I wanted more kirby stuff but they didn't really have much aside from this pouch :[#well time to accumulate points once again#irl stuff
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Maybe I'm projecting and being hopeful but I mentioned to M that I don't even get to shit by myself in peace lmao and I feel like something clicked for him. Bc I was like hey, at least you get private bathroom breaks at work (noncombative). And since then he's been a lot more acquiescent when I ask if I can nap and stuff
#he's never rly said no he just used to be like 'well whaf if i want to nap' like in the early parenting days#which evolved into 'yeah i guess'-type responses#lately he's more like 'yeah!' like his tone is less. whatever it was before#same with any requests i make in general like if he'll put e down for bed and stuff#idk my weird episode epiphany thing i went through last week has me feeling much less patient and self-questioning#it's just a fact that constantly asking myself if i'm being considerate enough of others has done nothing for me#like it hasn't even improved my relationships.. i don't really have any lol#like i'm done biting my tongue bc idk if i've properly considered their perspective.. i end up blowing up at minor things as a result anyway#like it makes me a worse partner fr#i also really feel like i've been putting daggers thru my own spirit by doing this for so long#like i need to stop troubleshooting my existence like 'what if i conform this way' 'what if i conform that way'#here's what if: you will be profoundly unhappy and no one who you love will truly know you#this is such a tangent off what i started talking about but basically i'm done reflexively wondering#every time i feel wronged disrespected etc. if actually i'm the one in the wrong. it really is reflexive#the way m's mom responded to me setting a boundary was a wake up call like apparently she just read into what i was saying too much#so hypothetically it wasn't the boundary she was angry about but how she thought i set it#but like i don't have any time for you if my extremely sincere and straightforward communication isn't good enough for you#like i'm not going to be understanding of your inability to take me at face value we didn't both fuck up. You did#and that's how i'm going to act. like You fucked up. yk
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Hey, squeaker! (/affectionate /p)
I don't normally do stuff like this but I saw you liked Aizetsu and Gyutaro as a QPR and I have shipped them in secret since before I saw that. So it made my day to find. As an aro-spec person, I don't really see QPRs talked about much either and most people kind of just don't care about them as a result.
Anyway,
-> the actual point of my submission is that you recently reblogged one of my arts with the tag "good luck charm" as you were denoting affection to it for helping to uplift your mood during difficult times. It really warmed my heart, so I wanted to make something intentionally for you in that vein of "good luck charm".
I know your original tags were in reference to an endouma doodle, but I wanted to toss you something for one of your rarer pairings. (I was shocked to see it in the wild!! /pos)
Hope your week gets better, man!
I COULD COMPLETELY BURST INTO TEARS,!!!!!!! THEYRE SUCH DORK ASSES I hope someone stuffs them both in lockers they probably already do it to eachother as some odd affection ritual. Weirdos. OBSESSED.. sincerely I do not have the words to describe how MUCH I appreciate this 😭😭😭! Since you sent this things have thankfully gotten better so thank you!! Your charm worked!! (Things are still scary and new! But im feeling much better :-})
actually I am drawing a little something right now for you .holdon.
they're stargazing :-}.. I have so many little things in my head of these two but I wanted to make something quick right this second in exchange because AGWAA!!IM GRATEFUL!! I'll keep them close to my heart for EVER💥💥💥💥💥💥💥
#good luck charm#i adore how you draw Aizetsus facesososo.. i need to see him taking the worlds heaviest nap foreely.#theyre so NASTY!!!! united in grossness its good for them in a way its healthy#BUT YEAH I DIDNT SAY IT IN YHE POST ITSELF CUZ I GET NERBOUS TO RAMBLE UP THERE BUT QPR SND MAKING QPPS IS SOOO IMPORTANT TO ME#it forever makes me sad that people dont really care about it/care to learn what qpr is even about and its like!!!#pLEASE ROMANCE AND PLATONICISM MY HEART MY SOUL! !#i have a lot of qprs that mean a whole lot to me and this is definitely one that makes me giddy because as a concept its just.really fun#they both are shitheads a little but theyre also kinda feircely protective in their own rights so its a push and pull of trying to show off#while also trying to not have the combined emotional adeptness of a shelter dog#in other words they are like specimens to me.. studys them under.microscope..#agagagaga ANYWAYS EEEK. THANK YOU. IVERY MUCH APPRECIATE IT#i saw it earlier in the week and got super emotional but got too sidetracked to have the time to say anything but hiccup. cry. sniffle.#thought about it the .entire time...#explodes this entire website#UGHHH TYTYTYTYTYTY 💥🙇💥🙇💥🙇#gonna need to add staring wistfully at this and various endoumas to my self care routine inthink. good for my health#grhsekeke squeaker....#cw fast gif#<- jic!#that gif gets such a giggle out of me im fascinated by it
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shapeshifter with their (human) lover and they always kiss when the shapeshifter is about to transform because the lover, while loving the shapeshifter in any form, can't help but feel some kind of primal fear watching the change happening, and they can just close their eyes while they kiss. yes there's probably better solutions but wouldn't it look sick in animation (bonus points if the shapeshifter turns into something monstrous)
#would work good for sweethearts in their first year together but good old marriage kissing all the time sounds like a stretch#maybe that's why i dont write romance#yeah anyway i tried to nap but my brain started making up random ideas so im making it your problem now#bah
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how do you people study through extreme exhaustion? bc thats what always gets me during the exams & i cannot keep doing this forever
#the first time i had exams i kept going through pure desperation#bc i cared a lot more back then#but now i just dont see studying as important enough for that to work#redoing a year wont be fun but i know people the year below me & it wouldnt be bad either#anyways to pass this next exam i probably wont get any sleep#or maybe 2 hours#which i know is bad but since its only 2 exams this time im less worried about sleep & more about just getting through#so i need to know how to keep myself going#i have no available caffeine :( otherwise thatd be my first idea#but idk ive tried so many things#turning on the big light#movement breaks#short naps#sleeping a few hours & just getting up really early#music - which does help a lot but its not enough#mine#please no one ever taught me any of this i just keep guessing & hoping i get it right#like at school they do 'teach you to study' but really its just a few tips#mostly to take care of yourself & not pull all nighters#like okay. but what if i have to otherwise i will not pass? how do i manage that?#i never had to study before high school#& that combined with my horrible mental state at the time meant my grades went from really good to horrible#and yet somehow passing#but idk i dont want to be hanging on by a thread and just one mistake away from failing anymore#thats not fun#i think it was kinda good for me since i made peace with maybe failing & dont really care about that anymore? like if i fail thats okay too#but yeah anyway#im rambling so i dont have to start studying
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#well after an hour and a half of sobbing and hyperventilating and a 2 hour nap#i feel... better?#not really. i still want to kill myself and i still think like absolutely nothing matters#i also have a killer headache now (probably cause i was too busy cryong to have lunch)#and i still have an important email to reply to (which i will do tomorrow i guess)#but yeah... it was an experience#sorry for the many vent posts today#i'm not having a nice time lol#but it's fine#i'm actually fine#i won't actually kill myself so no worries there#i'm just dramatic and also in the worlds of freddie mercury#i don't want to die i just wish i'd never been born at all 👌🏻#anyways.. i'm gonna go ignore all my problems now and play some minecraft#that will solve things lol#angel talks#personal
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I feel like over the month+, I have like 1-2 hours a day max where I feel relatively awake, and every other hour I'm fighting bone-deep exhaustion. I'll bring it up with my doc at my check up on monday, but tbh i know the solution so idk if she can help
And I can work-work when I feel half-dead, or rather I force myself to because I don't want my cats to starve, but when it comes to creative stuff, it's like my mind is slippery sludge dribbling out my eyes...
The Solution, of course: just stop working 3~10 AM every day (and then taking a short nap, working during the day, and then taking another short nap, hours vary but repeat), and maybe get at least 6, ideally 8 uninterrupted hours of sleep at least every other day, ideally every day.
But do I see that happening? No.
Like rn I know I desperately need to edit fic and reply to comments and do several arts but I'm nodding off at my desk after boss DMing me work at 5 AM and dealing with repair people since 8:30 AM...
#YukiPri rambles#yeah the next fic chapter is long done#i just need to edit and reply to comments but that's like#5 hours at least of concentration and i feel more vegetable than sentient human#coffee just makes me sleepier#my hyper irregular sleep hours (i never sleep the same hours 2 days in a row...) means that even when i DO have time to sleep#i wake up/it's not restful#i've tried melatonin and sometimes it works but more often it gives me hyper vivid pseudo-dreams#stuff like i'm in my dream i hear my alarm go off i turn my alarm off while remaining in my dream etc it's dangerous#all of this also of course means i rarely have time to do my minimal exercise of a daily walk#and i'm lucky if i eat one full meal a day#it's like being in a perpetual state of awful jetlag#i feel like my body is not synched to earth and it sucks#do you think this is what inter-planetary jetlag is like bc that must suck worse than just timezones on the same planet#that at least has a consistent rotation u feel#hmm what was this post about again#lol disaster#anyway i think i'll take a 1-2 hour nap now so maybe i can do some fic editing when i get up#see i'm repeating the cycle again
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#if I may be petty for a moment lol#and I feel bad for being annoyed bc I know people mean well#but like trying to explain to people the chronic migraine thing#and hearing “oh I get headaches a lot too” “try taking a nap” “try getting some air” “try migraleve“ ”these things work for me!“#my fellow children of christ. i am happy for you that you don't understand#but fuck me that lack of understanding is so frustrating#and i feel guilty that before all this started i probably would've said similar things. meaning well. not understanding.#but yeah i can just tell sometimes that ppl don't really think it's a big deal#and its just another annoying thing to deal with on top of my brain misfiring all the fucking time and the chronic disruption to my life#anyway rant over
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