#YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE AN EMPATH

[hannibal-is-my-comfort-show]

I still think its so funny that Will literally said "he left us his broken heart" while looking at a man who hannibal literally bent into a heart for Will and then had the bitch ass audacity to do the surprised pikachu face 3 years later when his new therapist/bitching partner says that he's in love with him

[the-red-thread-that-strangles]

Let's all wish @fizzyjacuzzi a very happy birthday <3

Sweater weather AU Operation Campfire (Part 2)

Despite all individual factors suggesting Rei should be asleep, he lies still and utterly: awake.

It's been a long night. He's tipsy and worn out and it's so comfortably warm in Akai's embrace. The sniper's heart beats steadily in his chest - a lullaby for Rei, if he could just calm down and listen. With every breath, he soaks in the smells: the body wash clinging to Akai; a hint of smoke from the man's stupidly unhealthy habit, and the last, stubborn reminders of aftershave. They mix and mingle into a nauseating scent that tries to drag Rei under, promises the sweet relief of pleasant dreams, if he just gives in. If he follows Akai into sleep.

And yet Rei's heart hammers in his chest, its erratic rhythm keeping him from peaceful slumber.

He's waiting - for something to happen, for this peaceful existence to end. For Akai to stir and quietly slip out of bed, leaving it cold and empty, with only the smell of stale smoke for company.

Not that the alternative is much better. If Akai leaves, it will hurt only once - and then Rei can shove all those spiralling thoughts and feelings back into the void they came from. Their little tryst would be a one-time mistake; excusable by a myriad of factors, never to be repeated again.

But if Akai doesn't leave, Rei will need to deal with this distraction, this temptation, in his heart and bed and life, for as long as Akai will have him.

(For as long as it takes for Rei to inevitably screw things up.)

Which might be sooner than later, because Rei has zero relationship experience.

It was simply never an option - had seemed like a mere distraction, a liability, something he couldn't afford and would gladly give up for his work. It hadn't even felt like a sacrifice; Rei was given the opportunity to be part of something so much larger, so much more important than himself - petty dreams of home and a family simply faded into obscurity.

Which leaves him with the current crisis. What does last night mean for their relationship, going forward?

If Akai wants any sort of regularity or stability, he'll be sorely disappointed. When Rei does manage to go home at all it's at odd hours of the night. Then he works some more, sleeps a few hours, and before dawn, he's already back at it. Crime never sleeps, and so neither should he.

(The hypocrisy stings, every time he tells Akai to rest, so he can give his all, later. Just because Rei objectively knows it to be true, doesn't mean he is beholden to it. And if he can't fall asleep, well, he might as well get more work done.)

That is, if he's even in the country. It's not quite as bad as during his syndicate days, but Rei travels wherever his mission leads him. Meeting contacts in person still is most effective; many of them don't trust digital communications, and for good reason, when the leak of a conversation might mean one's death.

Sometimes communications break down in the middle of a mission, too. It's very possible he'll be away from home, and Akai won't be able to reach him for weeks, maybe months if he's in deep cover and can't move safely. This year alone, they've already gone several months at once without seeing each other. Rei is busy, and so is Akai, and their schedules barely line up.

(Always on a timer, when they do.)

It's slightly better at the moment, because Akai is on loan to the PSB, but that's only until the syndicate case is wrapped up. Another year, at most.

(And then Rei will be left behind, again.)

Not that it will be much better for Akai. Despite his cool cat persona, it's clear his family means everything to the sniper. Rei won't be able to give him any. And he won't even be able to reliably provide the support Akai deserves.

(He's dug into Akai's relationship history, briefly, and is now left wondering whether things didn't work out between him and agent Starling because she, too, refused to put him above her work.)

Rei's heart burns. This is a mistake.

Maybe he could spare them both future suffering, if he nips this fledgeling concept in the bud. Could claim it was a drunken whim that had him going along with Akai's kisses, that he would have never done so while sober. That it's inappropriate.

That he doesn't reciprocate Akai's feelings.

(It would be a lie. But what is his life but lies, these days?)

All of this would be a lot simpler without the taste of Akai's lips still lingering on his, without being given a taste of what things could be.

The rare night out drinking. (Akai's unguarded smile, among his colleagues.)

Akai coming over to help build furniture for his new flat. (The look of pleased surprise, when Rei gave him a key.)

The safehouse. (Scrubbing Akai's hair. Having breakfast together. Watching over each other's sleep. Their own little bubble, waiting to burst. He would have liked to stay trapped like that for a little while longer.)

All those small comforts softening the blows life deals to him. He's so tempted to rest, with Akai by his side. Which is exactly the problem.

Akai makes Rei want to forget his duty, and he can't.

It's the one thing he always adhered to, throughout the years. What kept him going, when the world turned to ash around hime. The one thing that defines him. He can't give it up.

If he lost that, what would be left of him?

If he lost Akai, what would be left of him?

How is he supposed to reconcile these conflicting desires?

He wants Akai, so deeply and painfully that the mere thought of ruining this tentative bond between them sends a spike of anxiety through Rei. It seizes his heart and leaves him short of breath.

Shuuichi shifts in his sleep, squeezes Rei close, rubs slow circles into his back. It doesn't help, is only a temporary respite.

(Rei's stomach churns. Not for the first time, he wishes he'd chosen a simpler path in life.)

Damnit. What is he even doing, here? Luring Akai in with his selfish desires, luxuriating at his side, when Rei knows full well he can't give him what he needs, deserves?

Akai presses a kiss into his hair, mumbling something incomprehensible.

This is a mistake. This weakness is going to get them both killed.

His heart can't take it, and so Rei runs.

.

The morning air helps to cool his thoughts a little, but he's drifting aimlessly through the city streets. He wishes he had Haro with him - it would give him a pretence of purpose, at least, to walk his dog. But Haro is enjoying a well-earned spa day in a pet hotel. Since none of their colleagues were available to dogsit, and Rei was not too keen on a repeat of the last time Haro had tried to become top dog at a gathering with police hounds, it had seemed like a sensible option.

He's regretting it right about now - the place likely isn't staffed yet, and it would be more trouble than it's worth to try and dognap his own puppy. Maybe he should have taken Azusa's offer, after all. She's used to getting up early for work, at least. But while she means well, the less involved he is with her, the better for the both of them. He'd rather avoid another cyberbullying incident.

Hm.

Maybe he should just go to work? That would put his mind back on track. Though going there now would earn him a lecture about his workaholic tendencies from Hiro as soon as he finds out.

Come to think of it... Isn't this situation supposedly what best friends are for?

.

Finding Hiro from his last known location is a trivial affair.

The tracker Rei slipped into his best friend's purse is sending its signal ever-reliably, leading him through Tokyo's back alleys until he arrives in front of a place called The Study Room. Though the name is innocuous enough, the tacky red plush decor and brightly coloured advertisements for all sorts of costumes and toys greeting him as he slips inside very quickly paint a less-than-innocent picture.

Not the seediest love hotel Rei has ever set foot into, but still far from classy.

In the early morning hours, the place is practically deserted. Rei makes his way up to the second floor without running into anyone, which is just as well. Hiro picked a room close to the central staircase - easy to evacuate. He must have still had his wits about him. Good.

"Room service", he calls out in an off-pitch voice, and knocks. When that doesn't get a reply, Rei lets himself inside. Either it's Hiro's room, or someone has stolen his wallet - taking care of the latter also seems like a decent way to calm his racing thoughts.

The lock gives way easily enough as he swipes his keycard through the frame. With a soft creak, the door swings open to reveal a lavishly-decorated bedroom, pink and red hues dominating, and the scent of lavender overpowering anything else. The room is artificially darkened with blinds, though a few LED strips offer diffuse lighting from behind the bed. He's also staring down the barrel of Hiro's gun, his best friend's eyes gleaming dangerously in the low light.

Rei would be more inclined to feel threatened if he had bothered to flick off the safety. "Good morning to you too, Hiro."

His friend puts the service weapon back into the holster he's draped across the bedside table, and takes a look at his wristwatch. "It's still night, Zero." He sighs, takes a longing look at the pillows, and then points towards another door leading out of the room.

Rei frowns - the bed looks comfortable enough, surely they could chat here? Although to be completely honest, he doesn't want to know what people have done here, and how properly it's been cleaned and disinfected. If Hiro suggests the side room, presumably a bathroom, that's probably for the best.

Though -

"What's going on?", a high-pitched voice whines at Hiro's side, and despite the cadence, it's very clearly... male. And terrifyingly familiar.

Surely, he can't -

Hiro gives him a measured look, points at the door again, and then, to Rei's horror, ruffles the hair of the person beside him. "Shhh, it's alright. Just go back to sleep. I'll be right back."

"Don't dally." Before his very eyes, detective Yamamura Misao of the Gunma police places a kiss on Hiro's hand before his best friend can escape the smooching jaw of the abyss that is hungrily reaching out for him. "It's so cold without you..."

Rei stares for a moment too long as Hiro slides out of bed, glued to the accident unfolding before him. For his due diligence, he is rewarded with the image of detective Yamamura's half-naked form, burnt into his eyes, his mind, before the officer wraps himself up in a blanket.

Bleach. He needs bleach. Rei hurries into the next room, praying that it is, indeed, a bathroom, and well-stocked with cleaning supplies. He's sorely disappointed to find only an obscene variety of shower gels and shampoo in the room.

The door opens and closes behind him, gets locked with a click. For someone dressed in just his underwear and a fluffy pink bathrobe, Hiro manages to project a surprisingly concerned aura. He pinches the bridge of his nose. "Alright, Zero. Why are you here, at seven in the morning, on the first day of my vacation?" He taps his foot. It echoes off the tiled bathroom.

His mind still reeling, Rei tries to bring his spiralling thoughts into some semblance of order. He's not slept in over forty-eight hours. Maybe this was all just a vivid hallucination? He gets those sometimes. "Was that-"

Hiro clicks his tongue. "Surely you did not barge into my hotel to discuss my love life, Zero."

Rude. If their roles were reversed, his best friend would pry until Rei didn't have any secrets left to tell. Unfortunately, Hiro was taught all the same interrogation techniques as Rei - as well as how to resist them.

(And unlike him, Hiro doesn't usually keep his secrets close to his chest. If he doesn't want to talk about this... well, the less Rei has to think about the walking, talking headache that is Yamamura, the better.)

At least his best friend's words serve as a reminder, stirring a moment of clarity from his confusion. Love life. Right. That was it. There was a reason he sought out his best friend. For advice. For help. Damnit. Where does he even start?

Rei turns on the shower. He'd rather be caught dead than to have Yamamura be the one to overhear this particular talk.

The seconds pass, run down the drain with the shower water. Rei stares at his hands, folded in his lap, as the room slowly fogs up. Doesn't manage to look Hiro in the eye.

Alright. Simple and straight to the point. Get it over and done with.

"Akai kissed me." The confession bubbles out of Rei in a mixture of joy, confusion and tacit apprehension. It's still hard to believe it really happened, but the feeling lingers on his kiss-bruised lips, sends warmth pooling into his stomach.

He can feel the weight of Hiro's gaze shifting on him, sharpening. Bracing himself. "And how did you respond?"

Rei scoffs. As if there ever was more than one possible answer. "I reciprocated, of course."

(And then they had kissed some more, and Rei's hand had slipped under the hem of Akai's pyjama shirt, seeking out the warmth of his skin more directly, and Shuuichi had held him close, pressed him tightly to his chest as if he never wanted to let Rei go-)

Hiro lets out a breath of relief, and somehow that's a little insulting.

"Congratulations, then. It was admittedly getting a little frustrating to watch you two dance around each other, while also clearly being head over heels. I was starting to wonder if I needed to lock you two up together in the cabin next week." Hiro frowns, blinks the sleep from his eyes. "But if that's the case, then why are you here, and not, oh, I don't know - in his arms?"

"I need advice, an emergency strategy. What do I do now?" It's pathetic how uncertain his voice comes out, lacking all confidence. It breaks at the last syllable - this was a mistake, he should leave.

Hiro catches his look, and steps in between Rei and the door.

Great. Rei would rather not have to fight to gain his freedom. Normally, he can take Hiro. Right now, he wouldn't be so sure. He links his fingers and rests his chin on top, awaiting Hiro's judgement.

Thankfully, it doesn't come. Hiro just drags a small stepping stool over. Rei doesn't want to know what that's usually used for, in this kind of establishment. "Alright. Let's brainstorm." He pours them each a glass of water, and sits down.

"Okay. Let's roll it up from the bottom." Hiro yawns. "To make a plan, we need the goal. What is it that you want?"

A loaded question, the one Rei has been struggling with the whole way here. Leave it to Hiro to cut right to the meat of the issue.

The simple truth, the pattern in the memories of the last year, is thus: Rei needs wants Akai Shuuichi in his life.

He wants the small joys; to run fingers through Shuuichi's wet locks after a shower, to taste-test the newest recipe he tries his hand at, to hear him yawn all throughout the morning until he's had his first cup of coffee.

Rei wants the bitterness, too; to cover Akai, when he's being reckless; to hold him, when the nightmares threaten to swallow him whole; to kiss his scars all better, because there's nothing else to be done about them.

And lastly, Rei wants the man himself; wants to see that fond smile directed at him, wants those burning eyes focused solely on him, wants the heat of Akai's body to seep into his bones and keep him warm.

(Wants Akai to take him and hold him and keep him when he's done.)

What a selfish creature he is, to know nothing but his own desires.

"I want Akai in my life."

Hiro nods, unsurprised. "Now, I would argue that he already is. What would you want to change about the current situation?"

Unbidden, the ghost sensation of being pinned to the bed, lips on his neck, and heavy breathing in his ear, interspersed with words of affection in Akai's low voice, come to mind. Rei can feel himself flush. He blames the hot shower for the sweat clinging to his skin.

Hiro looks right through him. "Never mind. Don't answer that."

Rei takes a deep sip from his glass. It helps, if only a little.

"But I don't really see the issue here? You just told me he made a move on you, and we both know Akai is the type to plan ahead. Surely, he's aware of the consequences of his actions, and ready to follow through with them?"

"That's exactly the problem. I think I've accidentally led him on - I can't give him what he wants. The NPA comes first."

(It has to come first.)

After a too-long pause, Hiro finally asks: "And what would that be?"

"A home, a family? What anyone would want. You saw how happy he was with Akemi. And there's this group of children, they call themselves The Detective Boys... when he was playing grad student, they befriended him, and even now that he's back as Akai, he's been meeting with them. Always returns with a smile when he does."

Hiro nods, the picture of a sage slightly ruined by his lack of a beard. "I presume he has told you this is what he wants?"

"No, but it's clear as day-"

"Zero. Rei. Stop."

Rei stares at his best friend. His mouth snaps shut mid-sentence.

"Listen. You're a brilliant investigator, and you make a living out of analysing people. This skill has kept you alive, so it makes sense you would rely on it. But in this case, you might be too involved to read the situation accurately. So until you've talked to Akai about this, I would like you to refrain from making assumptions."

Rei keeps his mouth carefully shut, fighting the urge to the scold Hiro. Who does he think he is, to know Akai better-

"If there's anyone in the world who understands your work and the toll it takes, it's Akai. I'm sure he didn't expect you to quit your job and marry him on the spot or some such ridiculous thing."

(Shuuichi's eyes, so warm and bright, his hands, careful of his strength, holding him tight-

Rei really wouldn't be so sure about the 'not wanting to marry on the spot' thing. He's seen plenty of couples on their wedding day with looks less fond than Akai's.)

"He's neither stupid, nor delusional. A relationship is give and take, if that's even what he wants. That plan you asked for? It's simple: talk it out with him. Though you might have to pry his thoughts and feelings out of him - you know how he gets."

Beep. Beep. Beep-

Hiro frowns and fishes his phone out of the bathrobe's pocket with a sigh. "Seriously, why am I so popular today..." He glances at the display. "Ah. Speak of the devil."

"Good morning, Akai-" He's apparently being interrupted, frowns. Rei turns off the shower in order to eavesdrop. "What? Of course you're coming along, don't be silly." Hiro's smile is bright, but his eyes remain sharp, concerned.

Akai's voice echoes in the small bathroom. It stabs right through Rei's heart with how flat and quiet it is.

"Don't bother. I messed up. He's gone."

Damnit.

Hiro shoots Rei an exasperated look, rolls his eyes, and then proceeds to throw him under the bus.

"He's not gone. He's right here, with me."

That back-stabbing son of a- Is this payback for breaking into his room? To make things worse?

"Apologies for stealing him away for a moment. I lost my keys and had him fetch me the replacements."

Oh.

It's an obvious lie - Rei wouldn't drive under the influence, and Akai was right there. It would have made more sense to tell the sniper - but Hiro says it with the same inherent confidence as someone stating that the earth revolves around the sun. It doesn't allow for questioning of his authority.

Akai is very quiet on the other end of the line.

"He'll be right back with you, faster than you can blink. Won't you, Furuya?"

Rei flinches. Hiro hasn't called him that in private in years, possibly decades.

His best friend holds the phone at him with the most saccharine smile, wiggles it encouragingly.

Rei's stupid heart beats too strongly, knowing Akai is on the other end of the line, knowing he was ready to walk out of their plans because he thought he ruined something, when it was Rei who ran away, didn't even bother to give an excuse, had to rely on Hiro to cover him-

"...yes. Stay where you are." Rei's voice is rough, doesn't want to cooperate, but he manages to wring the words out. He should apologize. He wants to apologize-

"Understood." With another beep, the line goes dead, and the words he couldn't get out die on Rei's lips.

He hands back the phone, straightens himself up. He can't figure this out alone, but maybe, together with Akai, it could be possible. They've faced worse odds before, and walked back out alive, after all. Rei can only hope he hasn't already damaged things beyond repair before they even started.

"Alright, Zero. Get out, go back home, work things out with him." Hiro unlocks the door, shoos him out. "And next time you need something, please at least call ahead. I promise you I'll have your back, in person or otherwise."

Rei just nods and hurries away. The last thing he hears from beyond the door is a sleepy officer Yamamura. "Oh good, you're back. I was starting to wonder whether you'd been murdered and put in the shower to muddle the time of death-"

Maybe the guy does deserve his detective rank. But Rei really wants to stop thinking about Hiro's love life. He has enough to worry about with his own.

.

The way home is hazy. A taxi might have been involved? Rei can't quite remember having brought his wallet, but maybe he did. Or maybe Hiro gave him some cash? He's been running on anxiety and adrenaline for too long; they're collecting their due, leaving him dazed.

He drags himself up the stairs, to his flat on the second floor. Fumbles with his keys, unable to fit them into the lock. On the third attempt, he finally manages to calm himself enough to stop his hands from shaking. He pushes against the door, and-

-it won't open past a third of the way. Rei shoves again. There's a little give, but ultimately it won't open. What the hell?

He pokes his head around to see Akai sitting on the step in his entryway, one long leg extended, blocking the door.

"...what are you doing?"

Akai keeps staring at the floor. "Exactly what you told me to."

It's too early for games. Or maybe it would be too late? Time has lost its meaning. Regardless, Rei bristles. "I didn't-"

Wait.

"Oh, for the love of- you were allowed to make yourself comfortable!"

Akai just shrugs, won't even look at him. "A minor inconvenience wasn't worth the possibility to upset you."

If that was his goal, then Akai has failed miserably. Rei has half a mind to chew him out for his idiocy - anger, always the first response, easy to reach for even in a sleep-deprived haze. The floor must have been so cold, keeping in position for more than half an hour uncomfortable and completely unnecessary - before it sinks in.

"Let me into my own damn flat, Akai."

That's his idiot on the floor. Waiting for him to come back, hoping that he would. Half-dressed already - he must have called Hiro on his way out the door. Trying to make space so when Rei returned, he wouldn't have to deal with him. Akai's emergency duffel sits beside him, the carrying strap already slung over his shoulder. He was just going to extract himself, leave without a trace-

A wave of nausea hits Rei. He barely manages to hold onto the door in an attempt to keep himself steady.

"As you wish." Akai draws his leg back.

The door gives.

And Rei falls.

Damnit. He didn't think that one through.

.

The impact comes much earlier, and softer, than Rei expected.

That would be concerning, if his flayed nerves weren't soothed by warmth, the scent of familiar detergent and the soft fabric of an even more familiar sweater. He's just about ready to pass out where he stands - in Shuuichi's arms, the safest place to be.

But he can't, he needs to-

Akai drags him the rest of the way inside the flat, holds him against the door while he locks it. The interplay of muscles working against him is horribly distracting, when Rei's trying to gather enough of his mind to say what he needs to say-

Akai turns them, as if leading in a dance. The world spins on its axis, a gravitational pull towards Akai; and then Rei's sat down on the step in his entryway, gentle as the first snow.

Squatting down do meet him, Akai looks at him, for the first time this morning - quiet, guarded, carefully gaging Rei's reaction.

(But still, unable to help himself. Couldn't sit idly by, while Rei could get hurt.)

Rei doesn't deserve him.

And yet, he's here.

He's still here.

Waiting.

"Are you alright?"

It's too soft, too concerned.

The world blurs out of focus, and his lungs struggle to take in enough air through shallow gasps.

"Can I-"

Zero hesitation. "Whatever you need."

Rei finds the hem of Shuuichi's sweater more through touch than vision, grabs it, and drags him into his chest for a bone-crushing hug. In Rei's fuzzy, spinning world, he alone remains constant.

"I'll say this only once, so you had better listen", he mutters into his lover's hair.

(Because that's what this is, isn't it? That nauseous, burning feeling, constricting his chest. Love.)

"I'm sorry I left while you were still asleep." 'I'm sorry I turned tail and ran. I'm sorry I got scared.'

Shuuichi squirms in his arms until he manages to look up at Rei. "You came back for me as soon as you could." His small smile is so earnest and hopeful, Rei wants to-

Oh.

He can, now.

So he kisses Shuuichi.

'Always. For as long as you'll have me.'

.

"This is a tad dramatic, though, for merely helping out Morofushi." There's amusement in Shuuichi's voice, and he bumps their foreheads together. Surely, he must have seen through their lie, but it seems like he's leaving Rei an easy out.

He feels himself get lightheaded with relief, the tension seeping out of his muscles. The composition of his budy has been turned into putty, while he wasn't paying attention. He leans into Akai.

"Shut up. It's been a long day." They need to talk, but it will have to wait. Even just getting up and walking seems like a challenge, as he is.

"You didn't sleep at all, did you?" Concern mixed with amusement, the most irritating of combinations, especially from Akai. "Let's get you to bed."

Shuuichi kneels in front of Rei to unlace his boots and remove them - a very flattering position that is going to haunt his dreams. He's helped out of his coat, and though he insists he can walk, Shuuichi has the gall to shut him up with a kiss, and pick him up while Rei's mind is otherwise pre-occupied.

"Just focus on resting up."

When Shuuichi deposits him in the bed and turns to leave, Rei drags him back under the covers with him.

.

Rei wakes, alone, to the sizzle of oil and the smell of eggs on the verge of burning. He drags himself out of bed almost automatically, ready to save Azusa's attempt at scrambled eggs - only to realize he's not at the café, and instead stare in horror at his own kitchen, and the mess therein. He really wants to go lie back down.

(Mostly because Shuuichi's cooking at the stove, in his cream sweater and the black apron Rei kept from Poirot. He's tied a utilitarian ribbon at the back, the ends of which dangle down, highlighting the curve of his ass. It gives Rei too many ideas, too early in the day.)

He fetches himself a glass of water instead, observing the sniper move through his territory and grumbling: "You really have to stop attempting to murder me."

Shuuichi glances up from his attempts at rolling the tamagoyaki in its pan with a too-soft smile. Despite the appealing scent of his endeavours, Rei's stomach churns and flutters. He probably couldn't keep anything down if he tried.

"Surely my cooking is at least passable, by now." There's unconcealed pride in his smile, as he adds: "The last time Masumi arranged a family dinner, even Shiho commended me on my soup making skills."

"That's not what I meant." He nudges Shuuichi aside, pours more egg into the pan in order to save the poor tamagoyaki.

One of these days, that smile is going to kill him. But for now, he'll save the food and kiss it off Shuuichi's annoyingly smug face later.

And after breakfast, they'll talk.

.

Sweater weather AU masterpost

[mysticalmusicwhispers]

i feel like yao is someone whose adaptability generally ranks very high on his list of traits... yes he's so fucking proud and it causes 20398492578 internet debacles between nichukor all the time, and yes he has a complex about being treated with the gravity and respect that he thinks he deserves, as a growing world power and person (subjectively objectively) full of age old, well distilled wisdom, but he's also not foolish enough to be wounded at the slightest insult. like his emotional tolerance and regulation has, imo gotten (slightly) better over the centuries, and certain things are just water off a duck's back now. he knows that sometimes he's just playing a part, and doesn't expect nor care for anyone to recognize him as an unfathomably important or vast nation; like he has to live his day-to-day too, and it gets bothersome if everyone was hanging off his every word because they see his age. if you want to see a scrappy post-90/90后 trying to make it in the city, sure; if you want to a see rich young businessman, sure; if you want to see an energetic government official (or a disillusioned one), sure. it doesn't matter to him because the opinions of ordinary citizens are ultimately inconsequential compared to those of the other nations/govts, and he can play whatever part he wants them to see. he'd probably find it somewhat fun to drop references or subtly hint at his age and observe people's reactions when they pick up on it. if someone really disrespects him (couldve been bc he's actually being a dick, but if it actually devolves to age-based insults) he could always just reveal that he's actually wang yao, the personification of your homeland and everything you know, as well as the guy who actually birthed your mom (didn't you know), etc. and he'd probably get a good laugh out of it too lol. what really matters to him is other nation's opinions, and they know enough to give him at least grudging respect. idk i feel like he's just gotten good at tuning out what he thinks doesn't matter in order to focus on playing his part well, to get what he wants from the people actually calling the shots. how or whether his citizens perceive everything that he is, doesn't really matter.

also again; mf definitely isn't the vainest out of all the nations but he sure loves his beauty standards. puts face masks on every weekend despite nations not aging like humans bc he's not risking it...

[july-19th-club]

he would tell you that in this case violence is necessary, to protect yourself, your ship, your crew...violence is the logical response to this situation. for everyone else. if you can't trust yourself yet, then trust me. one hologram and one sociopath - we'll have to do. and i do think they should have had a long and fraught relationship about it

[sallytwo]

every 3-6 months my opinon on nick locarno does a complete 180. it’s like hey buddy ✌️😁

[insistonyourcupofstars]

BESTIES, I *HATE* RETAIIIIILLLLLL!!!!

[kiranerysismyhero]

the part of my brain that is constantly thinking about f/f rarepairs started pondering the idea of what if Deanna Troi met Kira what would they think of each other etc when i was struck with the thought

Deanna: "So, I hear you used to date my stepfather. What was that like?"

[litany-writes]

conversations with God (iii)

[tachyon-omlette]

39 for the ask game, and more specifically, was there ever a stage of mutual pining between them? "it's not like I lay awake at night thinking about them" type thing?

39. When and how did they admit that they loved each other? If they haven’t yet, why?

-> There was, actually, a stage of mutual pining between them, wherein Eda didn't want to risk offending the person he trusted most (and didn't feel worthy of their affection anyway) and Quintus didn't want to risk losing their favorite lab assistant (and was feeling a little ashamed due to a small voice in the back of their mind that sounded like Prima). Those were awkward times, and anyone who'd witnessed them trying not to let their gaze or their touch linger too long would have said as much.

It took a very rousing pep talk from Liege Maximo for Quintus to rise above their insecurities, if only for a few moments. Eda, however, beat them to the punch after Adaptus tricked him into thinking he was afflicted by some illness; he knew already how Quintus appreciated a list of symptoms before a list of assumptions, mortifying as it was to confess his "symptoms".

[levtashine]

Speaking of my new doctor told me I don't need to do pap smears every three years but rather every five 🙏 which is good bc the first pap smear was such a traumatizing experience that I get like actually shaky thinking about it nvm actually getting one done.

If you've never had one fwiw I've had them since and they are NOT that bad + lots of my friends have had them and they were fine, I just had a super evil doctor. I tell that first story to new doctors before getting pap smears done to determine whether I trust them to do it. Second pap smear was VERY easy and the doctor gave me a juice after because she felt bad for the anxiety

[avicecaro]

from @emiliosandozsequence ^

i absolutely agree!!! i’m not against these sorts of things ever occurring in fiction. they’re things that happen in real life — why shouldn’t they be permitted in fiction? but i’m not talking about media that tackles misogyny as a theme or a threat, i’m more talking about misogyny in media (both the writers’ misogyny and misogyny within the media between characters) being posed as something that inherently adds complexity, shock value, or "realism", as a poorly veiled excuse for men to insert their own violent and misogynistic fantasies into their writing.

several people mentioned Game of Thrones in their tags, and similar discussion has surrounded the new show The Idol. when you criticize gratuitous rape scenes or romanticized abuse or sexual humiliation of women on screen — or just the absence of women entirely! — the argument is often that we must criticize these things because they upset our delicate sensibilities, or because they’re elements of realism (which, sure, a lot of men are misogynistic, but then why are we still expected to empathize with these characters?), or don’t we know that they were meant to upset us to.. uhh… make us think! men think that they’re pushing the boundaries of media by showing the revolutionary occurrence of… a woman being strangled? a grown man marrying a little girl? like okay. lol. you’re not really tackling this in a meaningful way so what is this adding

legitimately i think men underestimate how boring misogyny is in media. like yes it can be gross or uncomfortable or upsetting or whatever else but for the most part it’s just boring. like we know this stuff. it’s not sooo controversial and revolutionary and new to the scene and edgy. it’s violent sex and women not being treated as people. like we know. we’re already living in it babes. the fastest way to make a piece of media boring is to make it misogynistic. and this especially applies to fantasy for me, because you’re over here getting immersed in a different world with different types of people and places and societies and then it’s just oh, the author didn’t actually make anything new. they took what they know about the real world some hundred years ago and added magic powers. or this was all just a really long intro to a dnd themed porno. the male characters sacrifice complexity because their motivations are just.. misogyny. which is at its core very simple and unimaginative. rape or violence or degradation or abuse aren’t really all that shocking or complex to see on screen. they’re in loads of movies with varying levels of quality in handling and i’m not particularly upset by them. they’re in some of my favorite movies. this isn’t an issue of sensibilities or fear. it’s just so boring.

[alexiroflife]

"tears"

fluff for the sukuna fans bc i've been in a soft sukuna mood

ryomen sukuna x reader

Synopsis: sukuna isn't a stranger to arguments with you, but when he catches you crying after a particularly harsh one, he finds himself scrambling to fix it... in his own way

to sum it up: sukuna is an asshole but he loves you, so he tries his best

WC: 3,296

Warning(s): a lil angst

You knew exactly what you were getting into when you first started a relationship with the infamous king of curses, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less when his tendency to be an asshole hurt your feelings. 

You know Sukuna isn’t a sentimental person who cares much for things like verbal reassurance, or consideration for the way the things he says can impact you, or anyone for that matter, but damn! Sometimes, he’s just too much of a jerk for you to handle, and Sukuna himself has no idea why your fragile human emotions sway you to be so affected by him. He doesn’t even think he’s said anything wrong the times in which you grow angry with him.

Now, Sukuna can handle your anger. Anger is good. Anger means that there is something he can react to, something he can tame or involve into your intimacies when he takes your mind off of silly arguments or subdues your attitude over what he deems to be small inconveniences. Anger is the only human emotion that he has felt himself in his many years of existence, so he knows what to expect. He understands it. He’s not, in the slightest, intimidated by it.

But what Sukuna finds he can not handle is the sound of your sniffles that resound from behind your door after you’ve just slammed it into his face. Sukuna angles his brows, pressing his ear to the door in confusion. Are you… cold? Coming down with a fever? What the hell are you sniffing your nose so much for?

Then he hears the meek gasps that intercept, the vocalization of pain that creeps into your weakened inhalations that accompany your damned sniffling. That’s when he realizes that you’re crying, and his pupils shrink slightly knowing that he has gone a little too far this time. 

Hell, how is he supposed to handle you crying? He can’t fuck your sadness away like he can with your irritation. He can’t mirror your sadness, since he has no clue what the hell it’s supposed to feel like. He can’t empathize with it either, for he has no idea what he could have done to bring tears to your eyes and empathy, well, it’s not in his vocabulary to begin with. It’s pathetic, he thinks, the way you have allowed him to bother you this much…

Yet it kills him to know that he’s the reason behind your tears.

He stands there for some time, unsure of what to do. Should he get Uraume to handle this? No, that may make things worse. You may want to be alone.

He turns to leave, but something stops him. He feels an ache in his chest, pressing his hand to his bicep. What the hell? What is this feeling?

He can still hear you crying, and somehow, it sounds like it’s getting worse, louder, or perhaps that is all in his head. He can no longer tell, but that sound you’re making is the only thing occupying his mind, and it’s ruining him. It’s making his chest tighten, his brow furrow, his lips press together tightly. He should leave, but he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to abandon you like this. 

Never once in his life has Sukuna felt remorse. Not even for all the times he has made you angry in the past when you two have had arguments. He is so quick to blame your reactions to things on your feeble human emotions. He is so quick to evade responsibility, or more so, refrain from guilting himself over the things he is responsible for. He is so quick to dismiss you, but it’s always fine because he has never witnessed you grow sad over his behavior, not until now.

Sukuna turns back to your door slowly. His hand flies to grab the handle to throw the door open, but he hesitates. He’s unsure of what’s happening to him, for he’s never hesitated before in his life. This, you crying, him second guessing himself, it’s all so new and he hates it. He needs to fix this immediately. 

What do you humans like when you are upset? There’s a word that’s slipping his mind, one he always hears you pester him for but turns down repeatedly. He had found the concept so irrelevant that he hadn’t even bothered to recall what it’s called.

He crosses his arms and stares ahead harshly in thought, then it comes to him. An apology! Yes, that’s what it is. But of course, you can’t expect him to verbalize such a thing. You must want something as a gift. A physical representation of his desire not to see you cry. He rushes off to locate Uraume for preparations.

About an hour later, you’re curled up on your bed and facing the wall with a blank stare. Your tears stopped a while ago, and since you hadn’t heard from Sukuna, you assumed he just didn’t care about your feelings. Like always.

“Oi,” a gruff voice through the door startles you. You jump and turn over, curling your brows in confusion at the sound of Sukuna’s voice. For a moment, you don’t believe he is speaking to you, so you wait some time to see if he will speak again. “I know you can hear me in there,” his voice sounds again, and you groan.

“Go away,” you tell him, flipping back over.

Sukuna, on the other side of the wall, clicks his tongue in agitation. “Quit your pouting and come open this door.”

“No. Until you learn how to treat me better, I don’t want to see you.”

Treat you better? Sukuna doesn’t understand this nonsense. You live in his large estate, you’re pampered by servants, showered with gifts and homemade meals, you sleep by his side every night, and he allows you to disrespect him far more often than he should. Not to mention, he has his arms full of presents at this very moment that are preventing him from opening the door himself. How can he possibly treat you any better than he’s already treating you?

He growls lowly and closes his eyes in irritation. “If you open the door, your mood will improve.”

“I don’t want anything other than what I just said.”

Sukuna’s eye twitches. Why are you so damn difficult? “What is your-”

“Go. Away.”

Oh. Alright, then. 

You sit up abruptly when Sukuna’s foot breaks in the door with a loud crash. You stare with wide eyes, the door, now off its hinge, creaking open weakly to reveal the king of curses with his arms full of several bouquets of flowers.

“What the fuck, Sukuna?!” you cry. He only stares frustratedly as he walks into the space univinted.

“This was going to go on for too long if I hadn’t done something,” he says, approaching the side of your bed.

“You can’t just- fuck! What is wrong with you?”

Okay… this is already going poorly. 

This is not the reaction he had desired from you, and perhaps he should have revisited the idea of kicking in the door, but he had been growing impatient. Despite his big talk, he doesn’t like when you speak to him in such a cold way. He doesn’t like being separated from you. He doesn’t like not being able to see your face, and after all the work he has just done to collect these plants for you, he can not tolerate being turned away. 

“Must you be so dramatic?” he tsks. “Do you not see what I have brought to you? Don’t you humans like these things?”

You stare at him incredulously, mouth agape. Sukuna can see the tear stains clear on your face, and his heart clenches again. God, why is that sight so abominable? 

He holds his arms out, presenting the flowers to you as if you could have possibly missed them. “They are yours. Take them and be done with this.”

“Be done with what, Sukuna?” you shake your head, face scrunched.

“With your tantrum- your tears, and the sniffles. Be done with them now. Here.”

You scoff. “Do you even know why you're giving these to me?”

Sukuna raises a brow. “To cease your tantrum. As I just said.”

“I can’t with you sometimes, Sukuna. Honestly.” 

“This is really the thanks that I get for bringing you these damn flowers? I thought you were supposed to like things like this. Why would you make me waste my time?”

“If you think it’s a fucking waste of time to bring me flowers, then there’s your problem right there,” you raise your voice, pointing at him accusingly. Sukuna’s face hardens. He thinks you’re getting angry again, but he can still see the sadness behind your eyes. You look almost… defeated. “And if you knew me at all, you’d know that I never cared about any of that stuff. I never cared about the flashiness or the gifts or whatever the fuck.”

Sukuna lowers his hands, letting the bouquets drop carelessly to the floor. “Now you are accusing me of not knowing you?” he seethes. “I’m not sure when you decided that it was acceptable for you to speak to me this way, but I will not tolerate it. I do nothing but dote on you, you ungrateful brat.”

“Yeah, sure, you dote on me, and then you turn around and berate me and call everything I feel stupid because you don’t care to even try to understand why some of the things you say are not okay!”

Sukuna walks closer to invade your personal space, leaning in to glare angrily at you as you do the same. This is what he knows. This is what he chooses to respond to. Not the curl in your brow, not the tremble of your lips, not the unsteadiness of your voice, but your anger. “Why should I care if all you do is whine,” he grumbles. 

You clamp your mouth shut as a lump forms in your throat. Sukuna watches you unravel before him, and while he tries to keep an unmoved expression, he is internally panicking when he sees your eyes gloss over again and your nose flare. 

Shit. He’s supposed to be making you feel better. How has he gone and made things worse again? Why is he incapable of understanding how to be what you want him to be?

You take in a trembling inhale as your hands clench and unclench at your sides. You don’t want him to see you cry. You don’t want him to call you weak, but you can’t help the tear that breaks past your lashes and dashes down your cheek, a physical display of your heartache. 

Sukuna’s crimson eyes fly to the tear, and his brows smooth out against his intent. 

Shit. Shit. Shit.

You’re crying again, and it’s his fault. It’s always been his fault. What is this now that he’s feeling? Regret? Shame? Is that what is clawing at his chest and stripping him of his resolve? Making him wish to replay this entire interaction so that you do not appear before him with tears in your eyes once more? Is this what it is to fall? 

You rub angrily at your eyes and huff, turning away from him and plopping back down on your bed, back facing him. You shut yourself away, close yourself off, and deprive Sukuna of your pretty face for the second time today. “Just leave me alone. You’ve made it perfectly clear that you don’t give a fuck about me or anything, for that matter.”

Sukuna’s eyes widen slightly with the deepening of his frown. That ache he has felt in his chest spreads throughout his body, serving as tension in his back, head, and shoulders. You think he doesn’t care for you? What nonsense. You’re the only being on this planet who has made a millennia of existence worth living, and you think he doesn’t care?

Sukuna can not even pin the blame onto you this time around. He can not accuse you of overreacting, nor can he evade such a thing that is so clearly his doing. He has made you feel uncared for, and while his temper may get out of hand, and his inability to fully comprehend the plagues of the human mind gets in the way, and he never tells you that he loves you, making you feel unloved is the last thing he ever meant to do. 

“Hey,” he mumbles, but you do not move. You cling to yourself for comfort because you do not believe he can provide any for you. “Brat-” he starts, but rethinks. He reaches his hand out to you. “(Y/n). Enough of this.”

“I don’t want to see you right now, Sukuna. Can’t you respect at least that for once?” you croak. 

His hand freezes and he lets it fall. Respect. Understanding. That is what you want from him, and he has not been giving it to you. He has not been giving you anything that you request of him emotionally, for that matter. He has been neglecting your mental needs whilst overpowering you with the physical, and it’s drawn you away from him. 

He could force you to get up. He could drag you by your hair to his bedroom. He could make you look him in the eye, make you stay with him, make you stay silent about this from this point on and forever more. Sukuna has the power and the authority to do so…

But the idea is not appealing. Not in the slightest.

Sukuna wants you happy. He wants you to want to be with him willingly, and if he ignores your consent now of all times, it would be like throwing away the life he has built with you. Throwing away your desires, and Sukuna does not long for a world in which you are any more uncomfortable than you already are. 

He takes a step back, looking over the flowers that he has dropped, and accepts the will of the mortal he fell in love with. 

“I will be in my chambers if or whenever you wish to see me,” he says lowly, giving in. He moves to leave but stops himself once more. He never had stopped himself this much before. “...I apologize for making you cry. I will send someone to fix your door immediately.”

Sukuna is well on his way when he hears you shuffling behind him. He turns, admittedly hopeful for your reaction, and finds you peeking in confusion over your shoulder. “...What did you just say?” you whisper.

The king of curses stalls, looking directly into your eyes from across the room. He feels suddenly… weak. Vulnerable. For the first time, he has relented his power for you to take hold of, and it feels strange to say the very least. “Do you wish for me to repeat myself?”

You sit up slowly, turning around. You knuckle at your red nose, watching him suspiciously. “I do. I may have misheard you.”

He studies you for a moment until he realizes that you are being facetious. “You heard me the first time.”

“Maybe I just want you to say it again.”

Sukuna sighs heavily. “I did not intend to make you cry, nor did I intend to make you feel as though I do not care for you. That is a foolish thought, but I understand I do not convey the depth of my feelings for you the way you wish me to convey it.”

You look dumbfounded as you stare at him in silence. Sukuna clicks his tongue, unsure of how you are going to respond. 

“Quit staring at me and say something, woman.”

“I just… never thought…” you trail off, swallowing harshly. “I never thought you would ever say something like that to me.”

“You will only hear me say such things when you are- when I’ve made you unhappy,” he clarifies firmly. Your nose twitches, an involuntary movement that Sukuna catches and finds entirely too adorable. Your eyes are still damp, but your breathing has evened out. 

“That’s the first,” you quip.

“Enough.”

You press your lips together, glancing at the flowers Sukuna brought you. Just then, you notice that they are your favorite. 

You tell yourself you knew what you were getting into when you first started dating the king of curses, but at times you forget that Sukuna is in fact a demon, and a king at that. He does not believe in any better than what he is.

“You hurt my feelings, Sukuna,” you say softly. “Don’t you get what that means? At least for me?”

“No,” he responds honestly. “But I do see now that you have different needs. And I understand that I refuse to watch you cry if there is something I can do about it.”

You try to remain angry with him. You try to keep yourself distanced, but you can not help the way that you are softening, and Sukuna notices. A hint of a smirk curves at the corner of his lips. 

“Is that all I had to say to make this better?”

“Shut the hell up,” you hiss. “It wouldn’t have killed you to apologize for the hundreds of other times we’ve fought, you know.”

“You weren’t crying the other times, woman.”

“It doesn’t matter,” you roll your eyes. 

Sukuna tilts his head, placing a hand on his hip. “You’re not still upset, are you?”

“Yes,” you pout, and he catches on.

“What is it you want now, to be pampered like a spoiled brat?” 

He makes the suggestion as if to offend you, but the two of you both know that he is hardly making a joke. “What I want is for you to fuck off.”

A chuckle rumbles in Sukuna’s throat as he makes his way over to you. You immediately break and screech when he yanks you forward by your ankle and loops you up into his arms before sitting down on your bed and setting you in his lap. 

He looks you dead in the eye and lifts a rough thumb, swiping stubbornly at your tear stains and your damp lashes. “Crybaby,” he mutters, and you swat his hand away.

“Whatever, asshole.” You push at his chest with weak contempt and he looks at you boredly.

“You’re pitiful,” he grumbles, gripping your chin securely and guiding it to him. His blood red eyes seep into yours, gazing intently. “No more tears, do you understand?”

“Then don’t make me sad.”

“I won’t,” he tells you confidently.

A smile twitches on your lips as you look over him, completely unfamiliar with this side of the king of curses. “Can you do one more thing for me, and then I’ll maybe think about forgiving you?” you bite your lip, pressing your finger to his broad shoulder.

Sukuna grunts. “More demands, huh? I suppose you know how to take advantage of a situation. What more do you want?”

You wrap your arms over his neck. “Tell me how much you care about me,” you sing. 

“Did I not just do so?”

“No, I want you to spell it out. Tell me you love me.”

“I highly tolerate you.”

“Tell me you loveeee me.”

“You are the only human being I do not frown upon.”

“Sukuna.”

“Christ, woman, you’re mine. Isn’t that enough?” he grits his teeth and you snort, patting his cheek gently. 

“For now.”

“Such a pest, you know that?” he mumbles, pushing in swiftly to press his lips firmly to yours in a swift peck. “Don’t ever say I don’t care for you again. It is the most false and offensive thing I have ever heard."

[sallytwo]

*still thinking about it* the worst part isn’t that the situation in first duty is ambiguously bad it’s that it’s specially terrible for wesley. the kid who idealized picard his entire life and said that everything he’s done was to make him proud but never got that reciprocated. who after years being the odd one out on the enterprise because of his age finally had friends. and a place where he really belonged. and then having to choose between the group that was supposed to stick together through it all who were all extremly loyal to each other and picard. it never was about upholding lofty starfleet ideals “you should always tell the truth” it was just about wesleys unyielding loyalty to picard. even though he never got anything back it’s sickening!!! it never mattered whether or not it was right to tell the truth because wesley was always going to turn on his friends for picard. it didn’t even matter in the end because this fully ruins wesleys relationship with him and with nova squad and he ends up leaving starfleet entirely 2 years later. it was all pointless. having to live knowing he’s complicit in his friend’s death when he grew up hating picard for being complicit in his fathers death even though they were friends. nick locarno who’s said to be like the squads surrogate father being the most responsible in joshs death and wesley having to live through that all again. and through all of this he lost his friend. the trial didn’t matter telling the truth didn’t really matter because at the end of the day josh would still be dead. after wesley has grown up seeing so many people close to him die and always living through these terrible traumatic life-or-death scenarios. like i cant even imagine the survivors guilt. they were supposed to stick by each other through anything but nick is expelled josh ends up dead sito ends up dead wesley just disappears the whole thing is just a tragedy. there was no way out man.

[bitter-post-millennial]

Oh so you’re purposely missing the point I’m trying to make. Good to know.

The point wasn’t about the relationships themselves. It was that in a story about THE DANCE you’re going to have spots of sympathy for both sides. It’s a give and take. Not everything is going to be about Rhaenyra. Sometimes they have to make room for other things. The show isn’t perfect, in fact I have a lot of issues with it, but it’s also removed a lot of Rhaenyra’s character to make her more sympathetic. This can be seen in the book with vaemond where he never even got to petition the court. He just talked about how he was upset about the line of succession being interrupted by a child who obviously wasnt related to him and who had no interest in learning what it means to be a Velaryon. So Rhaenyra dispatches daemon and he beheads vaemond and they feed his body to Caraxes. She lets her child get away Scotfree after he ripped his uncles eye out. Aemond didn’t even get an apology but ok.

Based on show canon- not the books- alicent gave birth as a child, around 15. She endured marital rape by Viserys at the very least 3 times, 4 if we’re counting Daeron. I think that might be an important aspect to think about considering the fact that Alicent knew exactly how Aemma died and knew that her husband would rather slit her stomach and get the child than tell her what was going on. Imagine being 15 and knowing that you can’t say no to your best friends father when he asks to marry you.

Please for the love of god talk to people different than you. Find empathy for someone other than your girl boss queen Rhaenyra. Please just act like a normal person. These are fake people with fake problems meant to illustrate and explore certain aspects of medieval life and what they mean in historical context. This is not a modern story.

the fact that we are going to have to sit through multiple alicent/crispy scenes this season and didn't even get ONE harwin/rhaenyra scene last season is a crime

[nativegirltapes]

pairing , toxic!rafe x sweetheart!reader warnings , angst + rafe just being a meanie

you often asked yourself how you got into situations like this, rafe was nice when you first started dating, what happened?

you and rafe were the definition of polar opposites, the epitome of it some could even argue. you were one of the nicest girls on figure 8, everyone adored you and wondered how you managed to be so 'perfect', if only they knew about your very imperfect relationship with rafe cameron.

everyone in the outer banks knew rafe had his issues, but you weren't one to judge him for it, you treated him like you treated everyone else, constant smiles and giggles, and maybe even extra because you always thought he was cute.

and maybe that's where you went wrong.

maybe if you had just kept your distance like everyone was telling you, you wouldn't be sitting in rafe cameron's truck at 1AM parked ouside your house arguing. what was supposed to be a much needed date night somehow turning into a fight, like it always did.

"no, i really don't think you understand." rafe huffed and furrowed his eyebrows while staring at you in the passenger seat, you looked so fragile and soft, but there he was yelling at you, getting rid of any innocence you had left before him.

"you're not letting me understand rafe!" you yell, fed up with his stupid argument that made no sense. "i get you have stuff going on, but you can't just shut down everytime i try to empathize with you!"

"i have no one y/n." rafe ran his fingers through his bangs, which were now greasy from how much he had been touching them. he had those crazy eyes, the ones that told you he wasn't sober and that he probably hadn't had a good nights sleep in days.

"you cant say that rafe. you can't say that you have no one." your voice was soft. you felt the tears forming, it wasn't even because you were angry or mad, but because you couldn't believe that rafe could say he had no one when he had you. did all that you've done for him mean nothing?

"see! you just don't fuckin' get it!" rafe gripped the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white.

"i think you should just go home and get some rest, kay? we can talk in the morning." you open your door not even waiting for rafe to respond, just needing some alone time.

"seriously?"

you crawl your way out of the passenger seat, "goodnight rafe. please go home and get rest." you slammed the door. and before you could even walk away from his truck he went speeding off.

no matter how upset rafe had ever made you, all you ever wanted was the best for him, even if it meant slowly destroying yourself.

[slayingfiction]

Words to use instead of ‘said’

**Using the word ‘said’ is absolutely not a bad choice, and in fact, you will want to use it for at least 40% of all your dialogue tags. Using other words can be great, especially for description and showing emotion, but used in excess can take away or distract from the story.

Neutral: acknowledged, added, affirmed, agreed, announced, answered, appealed, articulated, attested, began, bemused, boasted, called, chimed in, claimed, clarified, commented, conceded, confided, confirmed, contended, continued, corrected, decided, declared, deflected, demurred, disclosed, disputed, emphasized, explained, expressed, finished, gloated, greeted, hinted, imitated, imparted, implied, informed, interjected, insinuated, insisted, instructed, lectured, maintained, mouthed, mused, noted, observed, offered, put forth, reassured, recited, remarked, repeated, requested, replied, revealed, shared, spoke up, stated, suggested, uttered, voiced, volunteered, vowed, went on

Persuasive: advised, appealed, asserted, assured, begged, cajoled, claimed, convinced, directed, encouraged, implored, insisted, pleaded, pressed, probed, prodded, prompted, stressed, suggested, urged

Continuously: babbled, chattered, jabbered, rambled, rattled on

Quietly: admitted, breathed, confessed, croaked, crooned, grumbled, hissed, mumbled, murmured, muttered, purred, sighed, whispered

Loudly: bellowed, blurted, boomed, cried, hollered, howled, piped, roared, screamed, screeched, shouted, shrieked, squawked, thundered, wailed, yelled, yelped

Happily/Lovingly: admired, beamed, cackled, cheered, chirped, comforted, consoled, cooed, empathized, flirted, gushed, hummed, invited, praised, proclaimed, professed, reassured, soothed, squealed, whooped

Humour: bantered, chuckled, giggled, guffawed, jested, joked, joshed

Sad: bawled, begged, bemoaned, blubbered, grieved, lamented, mewled, mourned, pleaded, sniffled, sniveled, sobbed, wailed, wept, whimpered

Frustrated: argued, bickered, chastised, complained, exasperated, groaned, huffed, protested, whinged

Anger: accused, bristled, criticized, condemned, cursed, demanded, denounced, erupted, fumed, growled, lied, nagged, ordered, provoked, raged, ranted remonstrated, retorted, scoffed, scolded, scowled, seethed, shot, snapped, snarled, sneered, spat, stormed, swore, taunted, threatened, warned

Disgust: cringed, gagged, groused, griped, grunted, mocked, rasped, sniffed, snorted

Fear: cautioned, faltered, fretted, gasped, quaked, quavered, shuddered, stammered, stuttered, trembled, warned, whimpered, whined

Excited: beamed, cheered, cried out, crowed, exclaimed, gushed, rejoiced, sang, trumpeted

Surprised: blurted, exclaimed, gasped, marveled, sputtered, yelped

Provoked: bragged, dared, gibed, goaded, insulted, jeered, lied, mimicked, nagged, pestered, provoked, quipped, ribbed, ridiculed, sassed, teased

Uncertainty/Questionned: asked, challenged, coaxed, concluded, countered, debated, doubted, entreated, guessed, hesitated, hinted, implored, inquired, objected, persuaded, petitioned, pleaded, pondered, pressed, probed, proposed, queried, questioned, quizzed, reasoned, reiterated, reported, requested, speculated, supposed, surmised, testified, theorized, verified, wondered

This is by no means a full list, but should be more than enough to get you started!

Any more words you favor? Add them in the comments!

Happy Writing :)