#YOU'RE SO COOL I WANT TO TALK TO YOU MORE ALSO !!!!!

[marypsue]

Man, it's cool and all if you see a metaphor for marginalisation in the monstrous, and if you want the power fantasy of 'what if you could just eat anybody who threatened you/pissed you off'. Me too.

However, as soon as you start saying 'no, these monsters are a 1:1 on Specific Marginalised Group, and you have to treat them in the fiction like they are directly representative of real human members of the marginalised group', BUT you also, in the fiction, make them hurt/kill/eat humans? And then try to shame me, your audience, for noticing or engaging with the bit where they kill people, because you made them directly representative of a real-world marginalised group? You have lost me, and also, I think, the plot.

[velvetvexations]

Saw your tags on that binder post and I thought I’d share that my first introduction to chest binding was actually through the lolita community! A lot of big name japanese brands are not exactly size inclusive and did NOT cater to anyone with more than an A cup, so I did see quite a lot of safe binding advice and methods on blogs and forums back in the day before more inclusive brands became available, ranging from sports bra to actual proper binders. I’m probably not the only example of the “binding to fit into an angelic pretty dress” to “binding to fit into an angelic pretty dress and gender reasons)” pipeline, but plenty of other lolitas I know are still cis women who just do it on occasion or for specific pieces that aren’t very forgiving on the tits! I doubt that a single niche fashion subculture is the reason for those binders being marketed towards cis women so heavily, but I thought this was a funny anecdote :)

Fascinating!

patricia taxxon shit really fucking hurts. i dont want to be effected by a random internet microcelebrity not liking transdudes, that happens often enough. but god her music and essays got me through really rough shit and it really hurts to see someone i looked up to for well written essays and work fall back on the bullshit arguments used to deny my lived experiences. it really really fucking hurts, especially with how it feels barely anyone will talk about or call it out. i thought trfs were something id have to look hard for, and seeing their rhetoric creep into the fucking music i listen to and tumblrs i follow really truly scares me

I'm sorry, anon. I love you a lot. <3

“You shouldn’t break up the trans community into groups!” The TRFs literally came up with a way to break up the community via TMA/TME. They are actively distancing themselves from the community by baking fearmongering into their ideology. God forbid we create a term about sticking together against a group within the community that’s inherently dividing?

lmao literally

Just had my first time getting sexually harassed by a woman as a percieved cis man and commiserating afterwards with a cis man about how we're all just supposed to be cool with being treated like that. It's a weird experience and somehow going through the same things mostly from women as a girl then nonbinary then a trans guy it feels the same but the flavors change. I know the discourse is literally nothing but it makes me feel like my feelings shouldn't matter because of the male privilege. And I even did my civic duty and took the brunt of it away from the other trans man who was getting it worse because of his percieved feminine traits which people also like to pretend doesn't happen. All of it is just stupid.

It's fine, she was a woman and you're a man so that was praxis sexual harassment.

honestly i think a better predictor of how much autonomy a child is able to have over their presentation is probably whether the child is disabled moreso than agab, like i not only wasn't allowed to have my hair too short, i also wasn't allowed to have it too long for a chunk of my childhood because it took me awhile to understand how to brush my hair (because i was afraid to because i am hypersensitive to touch and my mother would always brush my hair in a way that hurt so much i would cry), and my mother would bitch and moan about how difficult i was about it (because she was hurting me and did not listen when i told her this) and so i wasn't allowed to have longer hair until i could brush it myself. ultimately the biggest factor is always the attitude of the parents though

God, so much of my shit with my mother was over my hair, it still really gets to me.

TRF is like the whole voting for face eating panthers. But it’s like TERFs are the panthers and TRFs are a cheetah, like “I’m a kind of cat too so they won’t eat my face as long as I eat faces too right?” WRONG they see you as prey, they won’t spare you because they see a fellow cat, they’ll eat your face cuz you’re not a panther!

cis women will like me if I explain to them how I'm -taxonomically- a woman

it’s insane to me that ‘it’s bad to hate someone for an uncontrollable part of their identity no matter who they are’ is a controversial take now

we've regressed

when people say ‘um ackshually i can say i want all men to die and if you tell me “men see these things and go far right because they think it’s true” then you are blaming women for men’s bad behaviour’ i just immediately assume that this person is stupid as fuck like. if a teenage boy goes online to see what feminism is about and is bombarded with ‘kill all men’ ‘all men are rapists’ etc then OBVIOUSLY he’s not gonna want to be feminist. it is really not that fucking hard to understand. people don’t wanna be in spaces that are cruel to them for an aspect of their identity that they cannot control it’s not ‘blaming women for misogynistic men’ to say that. it’s just fucking true. people are so stupid it actually pains me

unfortunately radfem juice is addictive

[quirekey]

Hi Quire! I have a fun request for you to try out.

May I request HCs of [TFP] Bumblebee, Smokescreen, and Knock Out (separately) reacting to their Cybertronian![S/O] [Gender Neutral] [Romantic] who used to be a pop idol back on Cybertron before the war?

[Prompt]: Somehow, ‘Bee, Smokes and K.O. obtained some lost information relating to their Sparkmate and it explains they used to be a famous idol back in Iacon. [S/O] would be so embarrassed about their former life before the war, then explain about changing their fame and name so no other bot can find out, until now. They rather win a war than please an audience.

Ooo!! Thanks for the fun request, this looked really cool!! Tysm for the cleanliness of the request also.

(I did change some parts of the request to make it more.. openly different between the 3)

[ BUMBLEBEE, SMOKESCREEN, KNOCKOUT ] x [ GN!READER ]

[ bumblebee / smokescreen / knockout x cybertronian!gn!idol!reader ]

TRANSFORMERS PRIME HEADCANONS:

BUMBLEBEE

- Bumblebee finds out you're a famous idol after he was talking to you for Primus knows how long. While you were trying to train to keep your gorgeous frame in shape, he asked a question that stirred towards the fact that you used to be an idol. You slipped due to your dismissive behaviour, you were just trying to train.

“So like, do you like singing? You seem to do quite a bit of it alone, if that’s what I’ve been hearing!”

“Yeah, sure. I sing quite a bit.”

“What, are you a singer or something? That would be awesome!”

“Yeah yeah, I am. What about it?”

- When Bumblebee finds out you were a famous idol, he goes ballistic, positively. He’s so hyped that he is talking to an idol that many Cybertronians know. Hell, he’s dating his idol!

- He is hyped and starts asking even more questions, wanting to know every detail. Him with his curious mind does ask you some private questions, you obviously avoid them. Bumblebee is just a little too excited to realise he is being invasive.

- Bumblebee realises he used to go to all of your concerts and was one of your biggest fans. You changed most of your appearance to seem more structured and your voice deepened, you were a whole different bot. Bumblebee is starstruck about what even happened.

- He asks you quite a bit on why you changed. Your usual answer is ‘Our victory in war is far more important than the entertainment of others.’. Bumblebee doesn’t understand because who wouldn’t want fame, but he does get it after some extra context.

- You tell him to keep it between the both of you and he complies. He does really want to talk about it to the other autobots but he doesn’t wanna upset you.

- Bumblebee definitely sings along with you if he finds you singing. Though it’s just buzzing and beeps, it’s cute. You just keep singing as he makes a replicated melody.

- Bumblebee would spend cycles trying to find remaining music videos, live concert recordings or photos of you when you were an idol. It wasn’t because he was weird but merely just curious and excited.

SMOKESCREEN

- Smokescreen was just having a small chat with you in the main base, having done their to-do list and everybody else was on field. He then remembers a certain idol that he used to look up to, he described them as a ‘compassionate star who never gave up, no matter what others did to them’. You knew it was you when he repeated the line that you said before every concert. Smokescreen only realises you were that idol when he starts describing their personality. Though he’s distraught, you confess and reassure him that it’s you that was that idol.

- Smokescreen was definitely surprised, you have changed a lot since then. Though he is curious on why you have changed, he also respects your decision if you wanted to part from your past. Because of this, he never asks any question that is considered ‘invasive’, even to a mild or surface level.

- Smokescreen thinks this is the coolest thing about you. He’s so happy that he has met you, but not because of your status. Smokescreen was happy because you were such a talented bot and he’s able to be there to support you in your new journey. He’s glad you chose to fight and not sing, he thinks it was the right choice, especially in the situation the autobots were in currently

- Yes, Smokescreen is glad you chose this path, but also wants you to still engage in your hobbies. He does hear you sing when you're alone and he understands that you do miss your past, when you were carefree and passionate for something you actually wanted to do. Smokescreen would encourage you to sing, trying to sing himself to lift your spirits. Let’s just say he isn’t the best, but he’s trying.

- You didn’t even need to tell him to keep it a secret. He understood that you weren’t too fond of the others knowing about your past, so he just kept it between the two of you. He’s proud of you no matter what.

KNOCKOUT

- Knockout finds out by research and images that were stuffed deep in Cybertronian history, blocked out by the recent war. He was just doing his research for a task he was given and after some deep searching, he found a video of an idol that was famous throughout all of Cybertron. It was a video of a bot who seemingly spoke a lot like you. They had a similar posture, engaging aura and a charismatic voice that matched you.

- At first, he thought it was just a coincidence. Why would somebot who was all about the passion in life join the Decepticons? It wouldn’t exactly make any sense to him, so he shrugged it off.

- The video was on his mind for quite a while so he decided to ask. No point in keeping it in. He asked you a few indirect questions, trying to bait you into being honest incase if you were embarrassed or disappointed in your past. Lucky for him, your oblivious self fell for it.

- When Knockout does connect the dots and finds out you used to be an idol, he makes fun out of it. He did think it was embarrassing at first, but also realised that you were extremely talented at singing. He did give you credit for being able to deal with such fans too, that can be pretty hard.

- Knockout finds more lost media of you back then, singing, dancing and interacting with fans. He thinks it's mildly stupid but doesn’t say it out loud, seeing his sparkmate happy was more than enough, and he didn’t want to hurt your feelings even more.

- Knockout undeniably compares your change from then to now. He points out smaller details that you didn’t realise, like how your frame has been sharpened to be way more sharpened for battle or that your colours have barely dulled overtime. He compares your frame, personality, voice and your general self to your past self. When you do get insecure, he does stop. He’s merely just studying, but he thinks the changes you made still make you perfect. Hell, he thinks you're way better now than before.

Just wanna acknowledge how i found a gif with the 3 of them specifically, i feel powerful dude

[koalapastries-writes]

okay which drivers do you think would want to come out as a couple and which ones would you have to ask to come out as a couple?

also congrats on 250!!! so proud of you ❤️

thank you milo <3333

this one's interesting because i could kinda see a lot of them in either category but here's my current thoughts:

warnings: suggestive content (lando, kimi a, rbr + ferrari!seb), mentions of affectionate bullying (lando), mentions of having kids (am + retired!seb, kimi r), mentions of marriage (am + retired!seb, jenson), mentions of joke flirting with someone else (ollie), mentions of violence (logan), mild angst (kimi a, logan), autistic!oscar bc i said so

asks you to go public:

alex albon:

something you will notice about when i write alex is that he is just a goofy guy

like he'd ask to go public but only because he's either a) already accidentally revealed the relationship or b) wanting to post goofy boyfriend photos of you

if it's the first one he's got a back-up "i'm sorry" gift in case you're not exactly ready

if it's the second one he's already got a post drafted and you better believe he will post it the SECOND he gets approval

he's silly and bad at keeping it a secret but he'll try his best for you

franco colapinto:

yappatron 6000

he's probably already told the whole grid and every mechanic who would listen to him for more than five seconds

knows it's only a matter of time before he starts talking about you in interviews

definitely the type to forget that he's famous

his family knows, lewis hamilton congratulated him on being a (sort of) out F1 driver ... everyone else can just find out randomly as far as he's concerned

mick schumacher:

wants to post all the couples pictures he has of you two

how can you possibly say no to this golden retriever?

it's impossible

you hard launch ten minutes later

lando norris:

so i don't usually write for lando but i do sometimes so 🤷‍♂️

would probably ask to go public just to prove that he actually can get a date (he doesn't like to talk about his instagram attempts)

it backfires immediately

now instead of being teased for being single he's being teased for being whipped

tells everyone you asked him to go public and then forgets to turn his mic off while streaming and accidentally reveals that he literally begged you

needless to say, his friends refuse to let him live it down

charles leclerc:

ok listen he's a pretty boy and he wants to be shown off

he wants to follow you around and be your arm candy

will get very very pouty if you hesitate or refuse

he'll understand, but he will be pouty until you either kiss him, cuddle him, or agree to go public

when you're out he's just a happy little bunny wandering around the paddock and abandoning his team responsibilities if he sees you

(ferrari tries to ban you from the paddock, charles cries until they give in)

aston martin + retired era sebastian vettel:

if he can't win races he wants to make it VERY clear that all his flirting over the year was just for funsies

like with his whole cool mature twink-death phase, he brings up the idea of settling down

you're not impressed

"sebastian we have three kids. if you still think this is 'casual' i don't know what to tell you."

... he does sleep on the couch for a couple nights

eventually he will convince you tho and you'll go to your first race with the whole paddock knowing you're his husband and not just his Really Close Friend Who He Happened To Touch A Lot.

ollie bearman:

i know this is kinda contradictory to the crossdressing post but i think ollie would bring up coming out before you?

like, prema knows, haas knows, ferrari knows, his family knows ... he knows he's pretty secure

does joke about bearnelli with you

which results in you (jokingly) flirting with dino or arthur and a very whiny baby bear

probably wouldn't want to do it until after / part way through his rookie season

just so he's a little more settled yk?

you ask to go public:

jenson button:

this one might be a lil controversial

i think jenson would actually to prefer to stay private for longer?

like, he won't tell anyone when you're dating

but the second you're married he's like

EVERYONE LOOK AT MY HUSBAND HE'S SO HOT

sky tries to reprimand him and jenson shows up to the next race with one of those "i ❤️ my husband" t-shirts and rainbow trousers

he looks like a dork but it's okay because he's cute

kimi antonelli:

absolutely adores you and talks about you at prema all the time

talks about you at mercedes all the time

george already knows your shoe size (among other things)

but the idea of going public and everyone knowing he has a boyfriend? absolutely terrifying

he kinda just posts the same sorts of things he posts with ollie and hopes everyone will assume you're just a friend

you're fine with it, because you know you're always the one he runs to for celebratory kisses after a win :)

kimi raikkonen:

shouldn't be surprising

he's not actively hiding you or actively trying to tell people

he just ... doesn't really talk about his personal life?

some of the drivers know, some don't

he's 100% been wearing a wedding/promise/whatever ring for years and nobody notices

there's a chance nobody knows he's ever dated anyone until your kid starts karting and he posts a video of the kid everyone thought was just his calling you dad and the internet explodes

lance stroll:

would rather die than have journalists asking you invasive questions

everyone knows he's dating someone but nobody knows who

lawsuits + bribes to any tabloids who get photos of you

insists on getting you a bodyguard if you ever come out

you try to get his dad to reason with him

lawrence thinks lance could be worse

overall, billionaire boyfriend just wants to cuddle at home and will do anything to protect that

10/10 very cute and whiny when he realises that means you can't go with him to Official F1 Business™ things

logan sargeant:

might've been half-out in the junior formulae?

like kind of an open secret in the paddock but he doesn't post about it

then he gets promoted to f1

at first he's super excited because he knows you get along really well with lily (alex's gf) and with all the talk of williams being a family, hopes you'll get to do normal wag/hab stuff with her

then things go downhill

logan absolutely refuses to let you anywhere near williams

half out of fear that somebody would say something rude to you

half out of fear that you'd light v*wles on fire if you got close enough

oscar piastri:

this man is Oblivious with a capital "O"

he tries his best really but he just. doesn't pick up on cues like that.

(yes this is me pushing my autistic!oscar agenda idc i'm autistic i'm allowed to say it)

has a massive folder of cute photos that either include you or remind him of you

it takes up about a quarter of his phone's storage

he refuses to delete any of them

still keeps it pretty private if you do ask to go public

he likes that he can just be oscar with you

he doesn't want the media taking that away from him

will only delete some of his photos when they're copied onto two separate usb's that are both in fireproof safes (one in his apartment in monaco, one in his childhood home in melbourne)

rbr + ferrari era sebastian vettel:

i recently saw this era described as feral twink energy and. yeah.

he's flirting with anything in the paddock that has a pulse

fans? yes.

journalists? yes.

drivers? yes.

team members? yes.

fia officials? yes.

EVERYBODY

eventually you'll ask if he could just please mention that he is, in fact, taken and (here's where it depends on if you're dom/sub) either make you beg or push you to the point of fucking it out of him

if anyone saw one of you limping in the paddock one day?

no they didn't.

this was fun, i definitely enjoy going deeper into what i think the drivers would be like in relationships :D

[yanderenightmare]

Do you normally get any 'ew, you're disgusting' shit in your inbox? I just now posted my first incest fic and got one like 'i hope you don't have any siblings lalala'. Prior to that, I was like "how do these authors go untouched by antis?" but then I realised that it was a tad bit naive of me lol. I was going to respond with a taunt but decided to just delete it because it wasn't worth the effort.

Are they frequent and are they easy to ignore?

Good question! I was actually going to make a post on this, as others have asked me the same thing, so here we go!

♡ Personal experience!

I get my fair share of hate from time to time—more often when I publish things that are more taboo than other excepted things—for example, like you say, incest, as well as bestiality, wide age gap, born-sexy-yesterday readers, etc.

It's an odd thing, as haters will often accept the fact that I write rape for titillation but will take issue with these other tropes. But anyway, we can talk about the nonsensical opinions of haters all day, but it wouldn't really do us any good.

So, here's my advice.

♡ First off, accept that haters are gonna hate!

Some people won't like what you write. And that's fine. The problem is that they feel the need to tell you that—at which point, you'll just have to console yourself by telling yourself that no decent person would be rude to a total stranger whom they don't know the first thing about and, therefore, whatever they have to say warrants neither second thought nor reply.

With that being said, however...

♡ You gotta do what feels right!

Engage or don't engage, do what you need to feel at peace. Sure, you can be the so-called bigger man and ignore all the meanies, but you absolutely don't have to!

Of course, we can be cool as cucumbers and say, "Not worth the effort," but who are we kidding? This is Tumblr, and you're allowed to rant when you want in whatever manner you want!

So, if you feel you gotta bite back to maintain your sanity, then that's what you should!

However, I do believe there's a way to go about it!

♡ Never go to bed angry!

This is my personal advice, but if you ever choose to acknowledge hate or critique, do so with tact and with based and factual arguments instead of slinging heated insults in return.

This way, you walk away from the fight feeling good about what you've said and not worse off than before. In other words, don't stoop down to their level.

I actually feel in many ways that answering hate can be rather therapeutic this way, as you've succesfully turned something negative into soemthing positive!

♡ The difference between hate and critique!

Actually doesn't matter. You're not really obligated to answer either if you don't want to.

But for the sake of differentiating the two: "Ew, you're disgusting" is hateful slander, but "Incest is wrong, and you're actively condoning it by writing what you write" is a genuine critique.

And it bears repeating, you don't have to address either because you don't owe anyone anything.

People are entiteld to their opnions just as much as you're free to disagree, and ignore if you want!

But something I've found is that explaining it to those who don't understand why we write such things, and furthermore why people want to read it without being interested in such things in real life, is actually quite a rewarding thing to do!

And by that, I mean it might make your critics and haters understand and rethink their comments, but it can also help your existing fans deal with their own similar self-loathing, and lastly, it's even great for your own mental health for when you yourself doubt your own mental standing!

Personally, in regard to the example I used above, when I get hit with the "you're condoning this and that" I just play the argument that those who play violent videogames aren't condoning the killing carried out by their avatar. Naturally, when roleplaying a fictional version of ourselves, we're not actually playing as ourselves.

Some people have a very hard time understanding this for some reason.

But anyway, moving on.

♡ Final advice!

Ignore and delete any and all the dumb, off-handed comments you feel like. If and when you want, return their rudeness with a cheeky smile and a slap on their ass. Be as cordial as you can be but as sassy as you feel you must—like an aged Queen who drinks her fair share of likewise wine.

But whatever you do, don't ever make things personal!

Though that's also my personal advice. I think, by making personal attacks, you're not being factual anymore, and you'll only feel worse for it. And by personal attacks, I mean calling people ignorant, dumb, awful, etc. You can, of course, say that their chosen words were in ill taste, but going after them themselves won't make you feel better. So, I'd suggest avoiding it.

Anyway, hope this helps!

[eurydicees]

re what they are saying about fiyero on twitter - gosh there is too much stuff. they talk about how uninteresting he is, how his presence has no effect on the leads, how he shouldn’t be elphaba’s endgame and doesnt deserve to be, how they want to delete him from the plot (somewhere along those line), how they want to block anyone making any fiyeraba or fiyero tweets or content and much, much, MUCH more like i genuinely do not understand the obsession?

i of course get not liking him, thats normal about any character lol but the way they just cannot shut up about how they dislike him is so….. like really no one is challenging your gelphie content 😭 we really are not interested to challenge your ship. you really dont need to focus on this guy 24/7 but ig you do you i hope they remain sane amidst all the apparent misery lol

well. you know. disappointed by not surprised. a partial fiyero ted talk under the cut. sorry.

it's like. it's just so frustrating to write him off as uninteresting and as having no effect on either elphaba (or glinda). like guys why is the media literacy not happening right now. also how the fuck would you delete him from the plot???? guys his plan is literally how elphaba escapes dorothy. he's the one who saves her from the gale force, TWICE. he literally sacrifices himself for her escape and its his sacrifice that makes her spiral into "wickedness" during no good deed.

also, fiyero is elphaba's endgame in part because he does what glinda cannot bring herself to do. WHICH IS SO VITAL TO THE ENDING. fiyero is the one who makes all of the sacrifices for elphaba that glinda refused, and he both pays the price for it and reaps the reward of it.

glinda and elphaba have a profound effect on each other, obviously, but it's not like fiyero is left unchanged by elphaba. i dont get where this idea that fiyero and elphaba have no dynamic because like??? that's just not true?????

fiyero goes from refusing to confront the difficulties of life to choosing the more difficult path for the sake of morality and loyalty and love because of elphaba (which is also really interesting given how he's, like, kind of a casualty of war in the book more than he is an actual rebel....mostly fiyero's book to musical adapation is #Rough but that's a cool parallel i hadn't noticed before).

glinda begins to see the flaws in the wizard's society, but she actively chooses to be a part of the system anyway. and she regrets it. that's the whole thing abt thank goodness!!!

fiyero, on the other hand, begins to see the flaws in this society and he chooses elphaba--and the life of rebellion that she's chosen--over everything that glinda admits to being unable to resist.

and GOD. guys that's so interesting. HES SO INTERESTING!!! how are you not interested by all of this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wicked is such a cool study on morality and what the "right" thing to do in such a world is, and what it means to make the decision to do the right thing vs the comfortable thing. fiyero chooses to follow elphaba and he pays the price, but he also doesn't regret it. glinda chooses the "safe" option--but in the end, even if she chooses good then, she's entirely alone in it all.

and that's SO INTERESTING!!!!!!!!! god. whatever. twitter just doesn't get him like you and me get him, anon.

just. it's totally fine to dislike him! i'm not refuting people's right to dislike him. the nature of fictional characters is that sometimes people will dislike them. like that's fine.

but being incapable of shutting up about how much you hate a character just...it stops being "harmlessly disliking a fictional character" and starts being "you are insufferable to talk to." like sorry you're so miserable about fiyeraba but i'm gonna be over here just having fun because that's what fandom is supposed to be about :)

(also, just a major issue with breaking this movie up into two films released a year apart is that any movie-only fans just don't get the point of fiyero's character. it's kind of devastating. ik not all of the people saying that stuff are movie-only but man. the people who are...im BEGGING you to give him a chance in part 2. literally BEGGING you. fiyero is such a good character. he has so many good moments. let the green girl go lives in my head rent free and if they cut that i'll riot.)

tldr; fiyero is SO neat and twitter is just full of cowards.

[inkskinned]

this is sort of pathetic, but when you were younger, you were sort of puzzled by the cartoon representations of fathers: how a kid would be outside with a mitt, waiting to play catch.

it's not that your father never played catch with you, but you also didn't like when he did. something about a hard ball coming quickly towards your face doesn't seem exciting. not that you'd ever say you don't trust him. you trust him, right?

it's not like he never tried to teach you anything. or never tried to parent. on rare days, a strange person would walk in your father's skin. bright, happy, magnificent. this version of your father was so cheerful and charismatic that you would do anything to keep him. and this is the version of your father that would laugh and gently coax you try again. this is the version of your father that would break down the small elements of a problem and point them out so you have an easier time with them.

as a kid, those days happened more often. but somewhere around 11, you started being too much of a person, and he was often cross about it. when he'd try to sit you down to learn something, you spent the whole time with your shoulders around your ears, nervous, uncertain. terrified because you didn't immediately understand how to navigate something. worried you will run out of his goodwill and then you will have the Other Father back, and you will have ruined a good day for your entire family. something about you being visibly afraid - it just made him angry. he would accuse you of not wanting to learn and storm away.

on tv, it's not like there's a lot of versions of men-who-are-mostly-fathers. they can be good dads, but usually their stories are not told in the household. so it's normal that your father is there, but he's never around. you know he was in the house, somewhere, it's just not that you guys ever... "hung out". he just seemed to get kind of bored of you, annoyed you weren't made in his perfect image. frustrated with how much energy it took to raise a kid. over time, you kind of adopt a bittersweet band around your throat - he knows nothing about me. he says at least i never abandoned my family.

and it's technically - technically - true. he was there for you. sometimes he even made an effort and made it to the big moments; the graduations and the dance recitals. he grins and tells everyone that he taught you. it almost erases the days in between, where he complains because you need a ride to school. the weeks that go by where he doesn't actually ever speak to you. the times you say i am struggling and he says figure it out on your own. i can't help you.

and that's fine! that's all fine. you can call him if you are having a problem with your car. or if you need a ride to the hospital. he loves playing hero, he just doesn't like the actual work that comes with being a father. and you've kind of made your peace with that; because you had to, because you don't want to live your life like he does; the whole world at a managed distance, a little rotating and controlled orb he can witness and take credit for but never truly love.

as an adult, you are rewatching some dumb cartoon - and again, the child standing in the rain, with a mitt, waiting for their father to come play catch. as an adult, there's this strange creeping dread - this little thing? this little thing, and their dad can't even show up for that? oh god, holyshit, it's not about the mitt, is it. oh god, holyshit, your father spent most of your life leaving you hanging.

[icewindandboringhorror]

sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:

thing that I already do

thing I have tried 10 times

thing I already do

thing that I don't have the money to do

thing I already do

thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail

thing that is impossible given my situation

thing that doesn't apply to me

thing that I already do

thing I have already tried

hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently

thing I have already done

[anonymusbosch]

today after work i sat in the car in the parking lot for 30 straight minutes staring at my phone ("vegetarian options near me") staring out the windshield at the gray sky (slowly getting darker) staring at my phone ("hi [manager] i was not cool with") and staring out the windshield trying to swallow some seething and a headache to drive back with a cool head.

i don't - i don't get angry. not really. frustrated, grumpy, irked, annoyed - sure. i am not moved to out-loud anger: raised voice, yelling, outbursts. whatever rises I am capable of biting back.

kept my cool long enough to get a Vegetarian Options Near Me (note: bad) and long enough after that to go buy ingredients that i can make food with in a hotel microwave. took care of some of the needs of the flesh. called partner. could relay nothing but the insanity of the work conversations and, in speaking, heard again the words that had driven me to muteness earlier

"I would have just said 'what the fuck' out loud" says the phone.

and I had, alone, in my car, quietly, "what is wrong with you" and "what the fuck" and "what is your problem", but not in conversation.

for which i am giving myself several gold stars today and resolving for tomorrow:

* literally leave the conversation and walk away while they're talking to you if they don't give you grace to leave

* don't play their games

* data, document, propose solution. ask for nothing. especially permission to do your damn job

* buy a fucking soldering iron.

[storgicdealer]

OKOKOK so im re classpecting the sticks bc i understand much more abt classpects now than i did when i first classpected them. i hope you dont mind if i drop em here bc youre very smart and you know both avam and hs so

tsc - lord of space (this stays, its way too narratively relevant for it not to)

green - prince of breath (very passionate, perfectionist, tries to be carefree even when he cares way too much about what other people think)

yellow - mage of light (moreso on the knowledge front than the luck front, similar to rose but more active in his role, likes to figure things out but using what shes previously learned)

blue - witch of life (FEFERI WOOO obv shes very witchy, leaf feels like theyd be more rebellious, life player bc its very energetic and tends to take on a healer role in the group)

red - knight of heart (tends to jump straight to protecting her friends, very impulsive and passionate/soulful, acts confident but is sometimes more hesitant than others realise)

victim - thief of hope (man i was so on point with this one)

chosen - mage of doom (has a lot of firsthand experience with doom and suffering, also suffers from their aspect, and very good at causing doom *cough* chosen has never won a fight on the right side *cough*)

dark - heir of time (very destructive by default, causes a lot of death, RED 🔥🔥🔥, but also logical, at times a bit too laid back and chill)

striker - maid of mind (maid im not sure on i just wasnt sure what else to do, mind bc shes very straightforward, thoughtful, plans ahead, very serious and logical)

purple - prince of blood (accidentally or on purpose fucks up almost all his relationships at some point, at the same time is also the reason most of his friends met in the first place, Prince = royalty theming, also matches with green)

mango - rogue of life (acts very skeptical and un-lifey but takes life from others to give to the people they care about)

gold - sylph of hope (loves to cheer people up, very hopeful and energetic demeanor, fairly childish, wants to make everyone happy all the time!!!)

hangman - bard of rage (calms people down, fairly chill compared to the other players, prefers to support and wishes people were more peaceful and mature)

ballista - knight of breath (session lacks breath for reasons i dont feel like describing rn, acts chill but actually feels like he cant live up to the title of Hero and isnt that carefree, protects the few people he attaches himself too <- that one scene in his original short where he draws upon the memories of his friends to open the door)

hazard - seer of void (ngl this is mostly just process of elimination but hazard feels pretty void oriented tbf. hes so chill hes not minding anyones business)

paleo - witch of heart (same as above </3 very passionate headstrong etc etc)

sorry for the word vomit in your inbox i want to talk to you more and idk how to initiate conversation other than random infodumps

OH I ABSOLUTELY DONT MIND PLEASE DO SEND ME STUFF LIKE THIS

oh this is so good. this is so good

my knowledge on classpects is probably slightly closer to surface level than yours lmao but from what i get GOD yes !!!!!! yellow being a mage of light / red being a knight of heart is literally them hello. absolutely. its in their code

PRINCE OF BLOOD PURPLE !!!!!!!! WOOOOOOO !!!!! thief of hope victim OH this is so good. im eating this up (id say my victim leans towards being a rogue a little bit. my whole rambling on how much i associate the motif of them being a "divine being sharing the gift of the animators with the outernet" typa thing) mage of doom chosen DONT even joke with me lad. im shaking him shaking him so hard

MAID OF MIND AGENT !!! MAID OF MIND AGENT !!! (even if not a maid shes still very much a mind player methinks)

oh knight of breath ballista oohhh ... this is so smart oh my god (and very obviously. already fits with one of his forms in "wanted" of literally looking like a knight lol)

wait i just realized green & purple knight and princ. cinder im gonna. im. oh this is SO good

[sskk-manifesto]

Ep 5!!!

[jinxed-sinner]

Alright here's my full (possibly hot) take on redesigning Hazbin Hotel characters and making a video showcasing those redesigns while you criticize the official designs.

First and foremost, you are redesigning someone else's OCs. Hazbin Hotel is, in essence, a passion project for Viv. How she talks about it makes that incredibly clear to me. The only difference between Hazbin Hotel and, for example, the story I'm developing surrounding some of my D&D OCs is that Hazbin Hotel got picked up by a streaming service and is significantly more popular than most passsion projects get.

Personally if someone wanted to redesign my D&D OCs, I wouldn't mind it, in fact I'd probably think it was really cool that someone would want to redesign one of my OCs to be closer to their tastes in terms of what they like to draw. I would, however, be made incredibly uncomfortable if someone made a video redesigning them where they also pointed out everything they thought was wrong with the designs. I didn't design these specific D&D characters to be 1-to-1 accurate to their classes in D&D or to look professionally designed. I designed them how I wanted them to look for the story I'm telling because I don't plan to ever play them in a campaign. The main character Avlan is a paladin, and I can acknowledge that his design might not look exactly like a paladin. One of the tabaxi in the story (Ice) is a bard and the other (Spark) is a ranger, and I acknowledge that their classes might not come across well in their designs. The single tiefling I've designed for this story (Tragedy) is a cleric but might not come off as one in their design. But I specifically designed them to be easy for me to draw because I want to be able to tell this story through my art. Having someone say "oh, Avlan's armor isn't paladin enough!" or "Avlan's fur colors and patterns should be closer to a wild rabbit's because harengon shouldn't be based on domestic rabbit colors!" would fucking hurt (especially because I'm so attached to Avlan, but it would hurt just as much if similar comments were made about Ice, Spark, or Tragedy). I am so passionate about these characters and being told their designs are bad or wrong in some way would be like a stab in the heart, and it would still feel like a stab in the heart if this story ever got a massive fandom behind it. Giving Avlan more complex armor because you think it'd look cool or just want to see what it'd look like? Sure, if I could draw more complex armor I'd give him more complex armor too. Giving him more complex armor but also shitting on the armor I decide to draw him with? My motivation to draw him in his armor, potentially draw him period, would be dead for WEEKS.

Why is it suddenly okay just because someone's passion project was picked up by Amazon Prime? Why is it suddenly okay to be "fixing" someone's character designs just because the project has a much bigger budget than most artists get and is on a popular streaming service? It's not. I don't care if you're a professional character designer, or think a specific character would look better with certain traits, or just don't like the character designs.

Hazbin Hotel is still Vivienne Medrano's passion project, and redesigning her characters and making videos talking about everything you think is "wrong" with them is, honestly, disgusting. You can make videos explaining your choices in your redesigns without putting down the designs that already exist, whether you like them or not. Me thinking Lucifer looks better with his tail not restricted to his full demon form doesn't suddenly mean I don't like his official design, because I fucking love it. If you wouldn't do it to an artist whose passion project is just a webcomic here on Tumblr, don't fucking do it to an artist whose passion project got picked up for a cartoon by a big streaming service (or any company for that matter).

[mokeonn]

I'm playing bg3 again and trying out the honor mode (which as it turns out, might be a bad idea if you never beat the game in general, much less beat it in tactician mode) and I have been confronted with the fact that I absolutely have dnd race favoritism and it absolutely is contributing to my need for many many bg3 saves because I constantly think "hmmm I want to try playing as a deep gnome to see if I get special dialog with Barcus Wroot, the Iron hands, and the underdark" before picking Drow for the 4th time.

[woodenela]

Short rl life rant:

I was put on antidepressants 7 years ago, a certain AD that nobody is supposed to be on for THAT long apparently. Nobody told me.

The psychiatrist I saw regularly every 3 months for 6 of those years just kept on prescribing them to me. When I told her I would like to get off them she told me the side effects are going to be a very tough journey cause I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE ON THOSE SPECIFIC ADs FOR SO DAMN LONG.

The stories of other long-term patients of hers sounded awful, with nausea and vertigo that can stay for up to A YEAR WTF.

Like, the shifty eyes she had, I could read the "oh fuck" on her face.

I'm so scared of reducing my dose further or even stopping 😭 Fuck you psychiatrist lady, if you knew why didn't you tell me??? Was she just assuming I would take them till the day I kicked the bucket? I'm so mad.

[normalcannibalism]

i feel weird and self conscious about my art again. sigh

the entire post ended up in thw tags ohb my god

[kuromi-hoemie]

i had a fun day 2 day ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა everyone has been so nicey 2 me all day from the minute i left my house earlier ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა ♡⁠

i went to a Retreat for the first time for work earlier 0: and I did SO good for being up since 2am it didn't even feel like it 💀

it was so chill i drove like an hour away but Away from the city so there wasn't rly traffic and the mountains r so pretty 2 drive thru (❁´◡`❁) got some rain n v low clouds and since it's autumn there's all these pretty colors. i took an edible on the way n was just jammin out n enjoying the scenery among the many safe opportunities 2 look

and then at the thing we got 2 do different ice breakers n go on decently long breaks; i got 2 hang in different groups n actually Talk w a bunch of ppl which i never have time for omg. it's nice working at a legal nonprofit, i would NOT want to do this with corporate mfs !! 😹

went around n said hii to the enbies and i ran up a hill that looked a lot smaller than it was, i made it like 80% of the way before my legs were immediately like no girl we're done !! but my brain was like but it's Right There, and i struggled 2 finish the climb but I Did !! ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა and i was so so tired i do not remember ever being that winded before 💀 getting down was so much slower n worse bc my legs were Done and when i finally made it to the bottom i laid flat on my back for like 15m, and when when i made it back to sit n chill i still need like 10 more minutes akskska. i do not b exercising !! i just wanted 2 play it looked fun and i got excited (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠)

in between things i was working on my sister's choker n kept winding up w a group of ppl around me 2 talk to about it and just talk 2 in general n the company was rly nice (❁´◡`❁) ♡ had a lot of different kinda talks 2day!! everyone is a sweetie!! some ppl r so funny n chill and i rly hope 2 get 2 talk more casually w people perhaps As Friends when i go in 👉👈

there's one girl in particular who is rly cute n sweet and i want 2 see her again ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა when I got home finally i had 2 hop on my work laptop real quick 2 look up her name again 2 make sure i didn't forget ☝️😌 we do not work at the same office but hii i am visiting next week 🐇

yippee!!!! ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა !!!