#YOU'RE ALL COOKING SO MUCH
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Oh man, those designs are more than what I could’ve come up with. I’ve never seen Scourge look so deteriorated before.
Like you would not believe the whiplash I got from the transition Phase 3 to Phase 4, talk to meeeee, what happened to the poor boy, what was the push that led to further physical harm??? I need to know his thought process before withering under Super Scourge’s control entirely! (I WOULD HATE FOR THAT THING TO BE MY SLEEP PARALYSIS DEMON, I HEADCANON HE SOMETIMES ADJUSTS HIS HEIGHT LIKE A SHADOW JUST TO FUCK WITH YOU LMFAOOO)
Looking at base Scourge to the very end of his phases I was like oh you can breathe, you can blink, you can cry but say goodbye to yourself, by the end of this au you’ll be a changed man.
Ahh, you just delivered on the horror aspect so so well.
(Also yay Patch’s got a good chance of living through his life well even if he’s got questions about it and it took years to finally brush his quills. additional question: based on shiny’s first post about patch, would he still hate the color purple?)
Also shoutout to Realm once again for whipping up the life reversion idea and potion purification method, BECAUSE HE BLOODY NEEDS IT! 🗣️🗣️
**I now believe if some methods were used such as the “mind crush” one, Scourge/Patch would need the wheelchair for a good while as part of his recovery process. Going through something like that would fuck you physically up for sure even with chaos healing involved. He’ll be fine but for now he’s just burnt out and doesn’t talk much.
Yessssss, big about out to @hevexns-realm for always bringing up her A-Game with writing 😫💕💕🙏🙏 Realm, you're always know how to create bangers with words and swing my motivation and inspiration right back at it 💪💪❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
Well, my boy's thoughts before he got under Super Scourge control are confusing to him as well. Dude just got brought back to life and no one wants to believe him. In the beginning he's just thinking people are pulling pranks on him or that he's used to not being taken seriously by anyone else. The longer the stuff goes on, the more he believes the world is against him and the world should pay for it (Going from the idea another Anon did as well~)
He goes on with his promise and takes care of Moebius, leaving death within his wake. Until he's burned out and somehow ends up in Sonic's world. Clearly traumatized from the stuff he did pull off (killing his father ect.), the whispers of Super slowly start getting into his mind. His harm starts when the whispers starts since he also carries a sense of guilt with him. He starts doubting himself, thinking if all that rampage was for a good thing. Only for Super Scourge to egg him on, to tell him that what he did was right. Purple spots would start to appear on his body and it frightens him, causing the harm we see in the designs. But once it starts, there's no way of going back. It gotten so worse at the end that he takes off his own arm to see if he's sleeping or not and to take "Super away from his body."
When you hear the same thing over and over again everyday, at some point you will start to believe the voice inside your head. The whispers turning to screaming making it unable to deny anymore. At his weakest and most broken moment, Super takes hold :3
My writing isn't the best so might change a few things along the way 🤣✨️
AND HECC YES, SUPER SCOURGE CAN CHANGE ANYTHING HE WANTS FROM HIS BODY. He wants to be able to give maximum trauma and pain. He can take ANY kind of form. Even from other people 👀
Patch and the color purple are no friends indeed. That boiio is traumatized by it, but weirdly also fascinated about it. When Mephiles shows him the power of Dark Chaos energy, Patch would be scared at first since it does have a purple glow.
Also, when Patch gets older, especially in his teenage years, he will get visits from his big friend in his head 💀 The others better take notes on that one.
Scourge/Patch's recovery would be harsh, long and painfull when "Mind Crush" would be used against him. He basically needs to re-learn basic skills as well and mental help cause, although it saved them and made them getting loose from Super, the damage would already be done.
Thank you so so so much for all the compliments as well and for being so hyped about the AU 😭💜💜💚💚💙🙏🙏🙏 Sp honored to share and create this AU with all of you 🥹🫶💕💕💕
#hunnieasks#scourge the hedgehog#delirium!au#delirium!scourge#super scourge#patch the hedgehog#I might left out bits and pieces so my apologies for that 💀💀#Might needs to sit down one time and put up a real story line#but for now anything could be added or changed#I love creating with you all and I dont wanna set all of it into stone yet to leave space open :3#some thing are already DEFINITELY happening#YOU'RE ALL COOKING SO MUCH#I hope to live up to the hype 😭🙏✨️✨️✨️
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IDK WTF THIS CARD GAME IS ABOUT BUT I NEED IT IMMEDIATELY
#kaishin#kuroba kaito#kudou shinichi#detective conan#dcmk#kaitou kid#edogawa conan#kidco#kidshin#kaico#LOOK AT THEMMMMMN#MY BEAUTIFUL BOYSSSSSS#ALSO LOOK AT KAITO????#WHY HE EATING UP KAITOU KID LIKE THAT OMG????? GODDAMN PRETTY MOTHERFUCKER I WILL PAT HIS HEAD AND TUCK HIM UNTO BED UGHHHH#AND OOOOH SHINICHI MY BOY YOU'RE AS BEAUTIFUL AS THE DAY WE LOST YOU BBY COME HOMEEEEE 😭😭😭😭#i love kidco so much like theyre so iconic look at themmmmm THEY'RE SO COOL AND LARGER THAN LIFE UGGHHHHH#i love them all your honor even though technically theres like only 2 people there but whatever#I LOVE THE OG LOVESQUARE BABEEEEYYY#need more stuff in the 'kuroba kaito doesnt know edogawa conan is kudou shinichi' tag just for the lovesquare shenanigans amirite 👉😏👉#dc prattles#btw sorry im so kaishin brainrd but if you look at the art for hakuba aoko and ran???? DAMN DCMK I AINT FORGIVING YALL WITH THAT M27 REVEAL#BUT YALL REALLY COOKED WITH THR ART IN THIS CARD GAME IMMA GIVE YOU THAT
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sick to my stomach thinking about how rin and nezha are your best american girl coded......
#tpw#you have so much to do (fix nikan) and i have nothing ahead of me (well because she died.)#your mother wouldn't approve of how my mother raised me (its them.)#you're the one you're all i ever wanted i think i'll regret this (nezha stabbing rin#Im cooking here.#sorry#rinnezha#rinezha#the poppy war#rf kuang
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Typing "capsaicin snake effect" into the search bar so i can figure out if yakumo can eat spicy food
#it's telling me that primarily mammals are affected#and the few times they tried it on snakes#it didn't really do much except mess with their processing abilities a bit#so what you're saying is that yakumo will primarily not be affected by spicy food.#but maybe with super spicy things#he might get a lil loopy? a lil nose clogged ? a momentary distraction? but no pain#if yakumo's tears are mala sauce then it only makes sense that he can eat mala amirite#mammals are the ones who suffer huh.........#i am imagining the yokai trio eating some hella spicy food#yakumo is eating unaware of the presence of capsaicin. he's happily describing the textural and flavour profiles of the dish#garu is a lil confused. this food hurts a bit. but it's still tasty so... gotta keep eating.. OW drink milk? THEN EAT MORE! YEAH!#kuya is OBLITERATED#for all we know the version that kuya got could have only been seasoned with a bit of black pepper#but old fox scrunches up his entire face as soon as it hits his tongue#and he slams the dish into the trash (with dramatic angry flair) like he's a veteran judge on a cooking show#garu WILL eat that thing out of the trash if you don't stop him#if rei is more bird than man then he won't be affected either#i'm gonna go ahead and think even if he IS more man than bird... he'll still be unaffected.#rei probably eats toxic waste akin to blade and garu levels . he is beyond human. he has experimebnted beyond Mortal Stomachs#blade is in the corner crunching on what you THINK is a candy apple. but it is not that. it is an orb of molten glass#(blade's spicy food is hot metal? yeah. he'll eat that capsaicin like it's nothing. give him an orchard of chillis.)#(actually. maybe don't. because the next time eiden sucks him off there gonna be some COMEDIC consequences)
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Really fucked up that two ppl can care about each other and make their best efforts to communicate and still end up hurting each other so badly they cannot stand to be in the same room.
#my stuff#i feel soooo bad talking to my therapist about the same topics over multiple weeks#like i feel like they're sooo sick of it like damn can this bitch get Over It alreadyyyy#hi yes actually can we talk about the near catastrophic sense of betrayal and loss that has haunted my soul for over a month?#can we talk about how I overcompensate for other's possible feelings and emotions to desperately mask my terror at feeling out of control#can we talk about how even when I know ppl acted with logical reasons necessary for their situation it still hurt me?#and that this pain fills me up with so much anger and frustration that I'm powerless to put anywhere that won't hurt someone#so it just cooks me inside and makes me grind my teeth constantly for weeks#im so angry i did not deserve to be treated like this it's not fair and I have no capacity to fix it or control when it feels better#i just have to survive and wait until i forget about it and hope they don't decide to reach out and fuck it all up#cause i can see that happening#i'll finally be free of thinking about them and generally going about my day unbothered and they'll ask to get coffee or something#and I have no idea what I should do in that scenario. because I don't think we can be friends.#and you have not treated me with the compassion and warmth I treated you#i would want to say mean things. hurtful things. I would want to bite back for once.#and that's not me. that's not who I want to be.#i don't wanna see you. go away. don't talk to me if you're not going to make the pain go away.
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[https://www.inaturalist.org/observations/50571993] Northern Pygmy-Owl || Glaucidium gnoma Observed in Canada Vulnerable in location of observation
"The two shots were taken less than a minute apart. I'd never seen a pygmy-owl do this before.. It had been in a relaxed posture, then, once a nearby chickadee appeared to notice it and started making a fuss, it compressed its feathers and stretched out, also raising the feathers above the eyes (first picture) than shortly after began to relax again, returning to a more usual pose (2nd picture). It was a pretty impressive transformation!"
#northern pygmy owl#owls#birds#animals#nature#wildlife#photography#air beast#who cooks for queue? who cooks for queue all?#not so shameful to be afraid of a chickadee when you're not much larger. excellent wilf
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Scriabin and Edgar eating crepes for requestober !!
Day 8 - Delicious silence
#My art#Requestober#Vargas#Scriabin#Edgar#I haven't drawn food in a while haha it was a fun exercise :)#Edgar made them a breakfast date ♥#You know he did it a) after endless pestering for more chocolate more fruit more cream more powdered sugar#''If you just want to eat sugar don't rope me into it >:0'' ''Oh as if you're too good for sweets come off it'' lol#And b) just to get Scriabin to be quiet about it all haha - he does! Sated for the moment! Yummy! <3#And not-so-secretly he's pleased to make him happy ♥ Scriabin openly enjoying something harmless!! Something good!!#Much better than him sadistically picking at Edgar haha - sometimes things are nice!#They get to enjoy a thing together <3 And if it really is too sweet for Edgar then more for Scriabin haha#He already got an extra strawberry! Healthy snack on the dessert for breakfast lol#It's okay to go all out every once in a while ♪#Poor Todd missing out on it tho aw haha#Next time full family meal for sure - all the more reason to go a little extra! Spoil the kid(s)!#Scriabin wipe your face or Edgar will do it and then what hehe#I do so enjoy when they're soft and quiet and gentle with each other <3#Kiss the cook! Do it!!
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This Valentine's day sucked 😔🤘
#Someone as hot as me should NOT be having shitty Valentines Days???#I was fuck-deep in a house problems + health problems combo...was not very much fun at all whatsoever.#I spent it curled up on a family member's couch with my partner--in pain and feeling DEEPLY sorry for myself.#I want a do-over! Someone come cook me a nice steak dinner and rub my feet 😤😤😤#But yeah! I'm still in recovery mode so I'll probably be scarce. Kisses. Mwah.#(And if you want to help Daddy feel more human again you're welcome send a tip 🥴)#In the meantime I'm getting zooted and attempting to hydrate away this migraine 😘
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We could make Sqq a transformer in his past life. Like optimus prime sorta transformer. Cybertronian.
He'd be the only surviving seeker (winged guy) on the autobots side (I don't know all the canons but I don't think they have, like, any). Pretty young when the war started - unfathomably ancient for humans, the kiddie of the group to them.
And he arrives on earth. Discovers the Internet. Immediately gets hooked on critiquing stupid Web novels in every language, which being a sentient machine he can do at great speed without forgetting anything. Decides to read the final chapter during a battle because he's so close to the end and airplane had better pull SOMETHING good. Is so infuriated (distracted) by the ending he messes up and immediately gets killed by some low level decepticon. After FIVE MILLION years of war he gets offed by some loser over a stupid human story that wasn't even very good. He dies SO furious.
And then he gets reborn a human.
He is, as the kids say, big mad.
How by Primus do they do anything??
#I can't decide if back on earth it's post reveal or not because the revelation that a cybernetic alien soldier was the one being catty in#the comment section of his harem story would break sqh. It'd be so funny if he didn't believe him tho#Sqq trying so hard to blend in when he knows basically nothing about even modern human norms outside of stories and memes#No one can decide if Sqq just has hallucinations or has been possessed by an eldritch monster#Sqq: *under his breath because his thoughts are so hard to hold on to now* I MISS being able to fly myself#Sqq: *drops important items like xiuya because he keeps forgetting he doesn't have hammer space anymore* *heavy sigh*#Sqq: *does a weird twist of his limbs because he can no longer turn into a vehicle* *mortified*#Mqf: shixiong... Is everything alright?#Sqq; who's been trying to air drop his medical information to his hard drive because he's too squeamish to say it out loud: yeah - Yes.#Sqq with great feeling: humans... Are so SOGGY. You're all so SQUISHY and full of all sorts of nasty FUILDS. I have to consume SO much#And all I get is SMELLY#No wonder your species started global warming#Sqh: bro can you not??#He adores lbhs cooking tho.#svsss#shen qingqiu#transformers#scum villain's self saving system#the scum villain's self saving system#scum villain#He's an idiot but he's an incomprehensibly ancient battle hardened 7m tall metal warrior squished into mortal form idiot#He is not picking up the signs lbh is putting down#At least once he figures out human limitations he can be a good strategist again
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"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"
I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming
#Kind of like some post I saw a long time ago talking about how even the meanest shittiest most difficult to get along with#elderly people or whaever still deserve to have some sort of systems in place to support them so they're not just relying on the#grace of relatives or etc. who may not be able to deal with them. Not saying that I'm like mean and cruel or anything#but the fact of the matter is in most social situations either I am compromising or the other person is. Not in like an ~`ouuu im so weirdd#nobody willever understand my quirky swagg hee heee~' way but like a.. Just factually the things that make me happy and comfortable#are often incompatible with people. The way I communicate and process things is different from the way other people do and that#is always a barrier. I cannot have ''easy''' interactions. Even with 'understanding' people there is nearly always a significant#amount of effort. You can't walk into a group of people and then be like ''okay you guys all have to wear#masks and you also cant play music too loud and also we should communicate turns of speaking very clearly so group conversations#arent too stressful. and also i need this and that and we have to do this and that and '' etc. etc. You CAN. And some people will#go along with that. but they will ALWAYS secretly resent you for it. You will be the one person they're relieved to not have to be around.#theyre glad when you dont show up since they can go back to doing things however they want and not masking and all these boring#annoying things. OR you can say none of that and just deal with the loud music and the talking and the unmasked people. but then#YOU'RE compromising. and no matter how nice they are it's exhausting to be around and youre just further alienated#while in the presence of people and uncofmrtoabel the whole time.#Which I'm not saying the only form of community is a group setting specificially but just giving that as an example lol#I just wish there were a better option than ''well learn to socialize normally or just suffer then'' . Which I know is not what people are#saying. I guess I just always feel a bit scared when 'community is the answer'. Since its not like 'oh im just socially anxious and need to#get out of my shell~!' or something thats really that remedy-able. It's like.. my mostly unchangeable physical health issues combined#with the mostly unchangable literal way that my brain processes sensory informationand other things means that interacting with#others in a normal and easy way is incredibly difficult and often exhausting especially to maintain in any longform fashion. So then#when it's like ''the answer to staying safe is to maintain longform social connections!! :3 just reach out!!'' then.. ermm... O_O#also I'm not even one of the cutesy shy emotional hermits that's nervous. I'm the Bad Stereotype emotionless robotic cold seeming#looms in the corner of the room type of thing so people have less pity on you in that way. -_- ANYWAY gghj#I need like.. a designated social representative or something.. When I did work in that bookshop forever ago they gave me a#person who basically was just with me to help communicate with others on my behalf and supervise me and stuff. I need that.. Some#more extraverted person I can latch onto and they can maintain the Social Support Network for me and I can just be their +1 to all#of the Social Things and community. I have helpful skills I can contribute to other people and stuff it's just like.. I cant socialize lol#I cook food or something for you.. then you keep me in contact with Community.. a deal. (but then what about when I'm too sick to#contribute? as is often the case. there's not much place for people like me in communities sometimes i fear.. sigh.) ***
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#I'm sorry I'm behind on asks I feel like it never fucking ends#can't talk to family about it. they worry too much. cant talk to friends about it. they just start giving unwarranted (well meaning) advice#and plus they basically live with me atp with how often they're over helping me fuck do I do?? bother them more??#dude it's embaressing even if it's not chronic shit it's just unlucky shit like how u gonna have an allergic reaction & then seizure same d#idk about therapy therapists scare me. it's not a therapy issue though I'm just tired and in pain all the fucking time#one more person says “same omg” or “well have you tried-” i will start cutting peoples throat and eating their livers#you do NOT know what it's like having to write your own will before 30 like this shit aint right shit aint fair#makes me petty and shit too people who are healthy like can you just fucking suffer why do you get that freedom but not me#it just never ends#like I really fucking hate it when people say “oh you have so much to live for” because no I don't#Not so sound like a right winger gosh dang god fearer but like deadass people focus so heavily on “mental health!!” they don't#realize even if you feel better and get therapy or shit that's not gonna be realistically helpful for anything physical going on in sm#it's a cycle even if you manage 1 thing - the medications cause a 2nd thing#and that's alongside all the OTHER things you take medications for which cause all those other things#it's like multiplying and makes your body slowly deplete but like never quite die. like I know realistically I can just die anyday#and yeah it is getting worse but it's no different because it's not about that#when you're sick it's not just “OMG DYING!!!” it's like. everything else in your life dies.#you can't cook for yourself. you can't clean. you can't move. you can't hang out with people anymore. you can barely work LMFAO.#I'm REALLY close to quitting it's not even funny lmao. cant put clothes on without struggling.#do people not know it's. physically impossible. to even eat sometimes. just vomit it all up or seize.#yeah it does make me petty#rant
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examining your relationship with your art can be fun
but watch out
#examine too hard and you'll have a crisis#or *another crisis if you're like me#sometimes yeah i think about it too hard and then i get the intense prey instinct#to chuck my tablet into a field and then take off sprinting in the other direction#though i know id just come creeping back like a cautious but curious deer. get a little closer. run away#closer. jump back. poke the tablet and run away. come back and poke it again.#its the 'what am i doing? am i doing what i want to do? am i enjoying this? is it hurting me?'#will admit i have these thoughts every other day#ill have like a good bit of fully enjoying art & what im scribbling#and then suddenly ill wake up the next day and its terrifying and Too Much and huh??? HUH???#i want to draw but im so so scared <3 but im being sooooo brave about it <3#anyway i think we should all destroy our electronics and run screaming into the woods#OH MY GOD SOON I CAN DO THAT.#not the electronics - i mean the running into the woods part#oh im so excited. when its all too much i can just walk in nature with no one around#that Will fix me! for sure!#when the Art Fear™️ comes back i can just... go away for a few hours and touch some motherfucking grass#AND MAYBE FORAGE SOME CHICKEN OF THE WOODS. I AM DYING TO HARVEST WILD CHICKEN OF THE WOODS.#LITERALLY HAS BEEN A LIFE GOAL FOR YEARS NOW#when the Art Fear™️ creeps in i can get some big chickeney mushrooms and cook em up. refresh my soul....#absolutely unprompted#but yeah sometimes i wonder if im drawing for myself or others. like drawing for others is fine but... i think there's a fine line#am i balancing it? am i Indulging enough? am i doing what i want to do enough???#are my people-pleaser tendencies consuming me again? am i feeling Pressure? hm. yeah its crisis time#am i living how i want. am i enjoying how i want. am i interacting with welcome home the way i want to.#i think im going to go do the dishes....
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Into You - Ariana Grande
youtube
#THIS ONE WAS SO FUN TO EDIT OMG#surely the intro is cooking omg it was so fun#also this was like 90% inspired by amor magnus doctor est#but only because I was making this edit on the train and then i said well i have to read the fic cuz im going to chicago#and uh well surely this song was 100% the vibes of the entire fic but i STILL CANNOT ANIMATE#so this is as close as we are gonna get LMAO#but also this song came on at the dealership and i was like oh it's so napollya#so obviously i had to make the edit#the you're an ocean ones were just easier??? ig?? lmao tbh idk#this song fits movie them and amde them#i just love them so so so much and all of sara's fics too#napollya#tmfu#napoleon solo#illya kuryakin#tmfu movie#lucia edits#edits#my edits#tmfu edits
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my princess nonsense is being encouraged watch ouyt imabout to be eneaabled
OK WHATF ATHAT'S SO CUTE I HAD TO MAKE IT i know realistically there's little to no chance that rei DOESN'T know how to work heels 🤣 BUT IMAGINE.....ING.... YAKUMO GENTLY GUIDING REI IN HEELS, WEEKS BEFORE THE BIG GALA AND HAVING NONE OF HIS NORMAL FEAR OF PHYSICAL TOUCH BC HIS [TEACHER MODE] IS OVERRIDING HIS INSECURITY
#rei looking directly at the camera like why are you subjecting me to this. i do not need any of this. i know how to do it#rei wearing stilettos the size of your head so he becomes ur very tall bird goth gf#you know how yakumo gets when he instructs someone on how to cook something#he becomes confident and just tells ppl how to do stuff without his usual amount of stutter and secondguessing#i'm gonna pretend that after his stiletto training in misty vale he gains a TINY MOLECULE of confidence due to experience#like [i can help you if you've never done it before?]#honestly i can't imagine this scenario happening because i am so SURE that rei can walk in heels HAHAHA even tho nothing has proven that#SOMETHING COME PROVE ME WRONG SO MY DELUSIONS CAN SLIDE CLOSER TO POSSIBILITY#anyway even if rei didn't know how to wear heels#would he ever mention it? would yakumo ever learn of it?#rei would probably be all . i don't need to wear heels. they can't even see them under the dress. i'll wear my practical shoes#but if he can't get away with that and will be forced to wear heels at the party...#maybe he'll go [meh. i'll figure it out] and just not wear them until the day of the dance#at which point his feet will hurt after 20 minutes and for the whole night he takes any chance to sit down#rei can be frequently spotted on SOME surface SOMEWHERE in the palace. sitting all splayed out and uncaring of propriety#because he is in PAIN and these shoes are STUPID and why do people wear them for ANYTHING . Royals are so IMPRACTICAL#yakumo keeps trying to avoid heels for the dance because he doesn't want to be any taller than he already is#i bet there's a full convo about it between him and eiden#eiden trying to reassure him that if he wants to wear heels then he shouldn't let others' perception stop him from doing so#but if he genuinely doesn't want to wear them then that's ok too#eiden craning his neck up at yakumo in heels like you're my pretty princess 1-2 heads taller than me your height doesn't matter 🥰#i'm now torn. yakumo and rei both wearing heels now? in order to stay at similar heights?#or. rei starting out with heels. getting tired of them. going barefoot for the rest of the night lol#yakumo and rei still dancing in their ballgowns together but a much shorter rei leads a yakumo in heels#yes. yes this is the vision#yakurei#replies#nu carnival yakumo#nu carnival rei
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every word I say is kindling (but the smoke clears when you're around) - a Laudna/Imogen au, chapter 3/3: may your peace walk on with you for a while. also on ao3.
/
It takes time - longer than you had thought, so much so that you grow a bit fearful, a decidedly mortal emotion you had thought deadened inside of you - for either of them to notice.
It’s Laudna, of course, who does first. Her threads are all blue and the once-black of Delilah that chokes her; red is a color she hasn’t associated with since the last of it bled out of Matilda’s hands as she wrenched herself from the Sun Tree. It’s natural that she’s startled by the wave of red that hits her - red tether, red moon, red fury, red end. She’s used to only two voices in her head (three, if you count her ratbird) - she startles at the new, overwhelming one.
Startles, and feels revulsion creep in. You have put so much on the woman’s shoulders; she grows tired of it. Tired of fate.
Laudna, still biding her time on her airship, does not react to the affront on her consciousness; she waits for whatever lies on the other side to make its move.
/
Imogen’s dwellings within her mother’s domain aren’t humble by any means; she is a Temult, their savior, and her abode must reflect that. The Ruby Vanguard, however, dealing in secrets and keeping themselves from drawing too much attention, doesn’t allow for too much luxury. Imogen did have herself a rare luxury amongst them: a mirror in her private chambers, an object usually reserved for group areas. Mirrors are fragile and difficult to obtain, so far from bustling markets and the prying eyes of the commonfolk - it’s only because she’s a Temult that she’s been allowed one of her own.
Imogen’s attitude towards it shifted as she did - her purple sparks were beautiful - her itching skin that cracked apart with that same pulsing power was hideous - the hair that damns her, marks her as a Temult, makes her look so much like Liliana is horrific, and so is the mirror.
On this occasion, however, the mirror is a curiosity. Imogen rises for her morning tasks and nearly misses it - has no reason to linger on the mirror and so she doesn’t, until something catches the corner of her eye.
A portion of the mirror is much darker than any part of her own room is - it’s not a reflection at all, but a look at something.
At someone.
A woman sits curled up amongst some crates, using magic to propel a tiny husk of a rat (with a bird’s skull) along in front of her. She is speaking - or perhaps singing? - to herself, to the corpse, Imogen can’t hear. The scene is dark, and the woman and her magic are too, other than her deathly pale skin. “Hello?” Imogen asks aloud, stretching her hand towards the mirror before she can think of anything more logical to do.
The woman looks up, alarmed, and- the connection cuts out, leaving Imogen’s hand to touch its own reflection instead.
But Imogen Temult has more than one way to communicate. Who are you? She thinks, her eyes boring holes into the mirror, seeking the woman she’s sure she didn’t invent.
There is no response, and the only thoughts for Imogen to read are the buzzing drivel from the Ruby Vanguard.
The days pass like this, at first - a reflection of a woman she can’t reach in the mirror - a dead rat with a bird’s skull dancing in the reflection of a puddle - a song in a woman’s voice whose melody shakes her soul but whose words she can’t quite make out.
For the first time in many years, Imogen Temult feels excitement. She tells no one - she has always been told she’s been destined for important things and that others won’t understand, and she’s decided that “others” includes the Ruby Vanguard as well as the commonfolk. Liliana, well, Liliana just seems glad that Imogen returned back to the encampment, and largely leaves her alone to chase wisps of a woman who might not exist.
If it’s her psyche breaking, well, Imogen’s just glad it’s happening in a way that can make her happy.
For her part, the woman doesn’t seem surprised to see her after that first morning. Imogen doesn’t see her smile often, unless the rat is at the forefront of her attention, but her expression when she’s alone seems to always be calculating, judging. Imogen’s certain that the woman is sizing her up - which must mean their connection goes both ways.
The Ruby Vanguard does not have an extensive library, and what they have does not mention you. You are, after all, the opposite of what they strive for. Imogen devours every book, every manuscript, every scrap of information she can get her hands on (or her mind into), but nothing conclusively leads her towards what this connection might actually be.
It matters not; she knows she hasn’t reached a dead end, because she sees the woman more and more frequently, a ghost in her vision as your tether truly takes root. It’s so taut neither can move in a way that matters without the other feeling it, and Imogen, so used to tuning others out, is extremely aware of the other woman’s presence.
Where she showed to Laudna as a wall of red, red, red, Laudna’s presence in Imogen’s mind is much softer; she is a symphony without words, a gentle and soothing lullaby against the buzzing and droning that other people’s minds fill Imogen up with.
Imogen reaches her mind out to that music constantly, but has yet to receive any response.
Until, that is, Laudna softens. It isn’t intentional on the warlock’s nor her patron’s end; rather, the two are caught - literally - sleeping. It’s unclear to Laudna and to yourself, really, just how entwined Delilah’s consciousness is with hers - perhaps Delilah knew Imogen was coming and allowed her to see, or Laudna’s exhaustion became her patron’s and they were equally powerless in the face of this new bond.
Imogen began her day as had become customary to her - she reached her mind along the tether, aching to see the woman she’s decided means her destiny is taking hold - and, to her surprise, her whole world jolts into that cramped, dark storage space she’d seen that first day.
The woman is not alone.
It’s not the dead ratbird, who rests on her lap, clearly drifted from her grasp as she fell asleep. No - Imogen sees a shadow on the woman that she hasn’t been able to before.
The woman leans against a dark, wooden wall, and by all rights there shouldn’t be a shadow at all - it’s not bright enough where she is. Nonetheless, a much bigger woman is outlined behind her - Imogen can’t glean too much from only a silhouette, but as her eyes frantically take in the scene (already she feels her grasp on the tether slipping, already she knows she will be forced away) they can’t help but trail to where the shadow’s hands seem to rest - dark fingers compressing around the woman’s throat even as she begins to shake out of her slumber.
“Hello,” she rasps, meeting Imogen’s gaze with a crooked smile, seemingly amused at what she sees (Imogen can only imagine what face she must be making - any attempt to fix her expression proves futile, however: a messiah is not trained in how to school her expression) as she just tips into alertness. The storage space is already fading around Imogen, dark wood and crates giving way to sunlight streaming through a window, but Imogen can just make out the woman’s next words- “I think we’re each other’s fates.”
/
Things spiral from there, just as you hoped they would. Imogen has begun to realize that you have taken the thread of her fate in your hands and twisted it from her - you have wrenched what Liliana had created for her and twisted, twisted, twisted, reshaped it into something else.
It’s little things, adding up to make a clear picture in Imogen’s mind. A member of the Ruby Vanguard reaches out to stop her, thoughtlessly, forgetting those whom she touches burn - and when their hand reaches her shoulder they remember to flinch away but not before making the briefest of contact - it should have run them through, would have done so just a week before, but instead it’s the briefest zap. Imogen hears the sound, continues pushing through to her mother. It’s the buzzing of the thoughts of the Ruby Vanguard - she pushes them away, sometimes physically pushes them away, gives herself space; finds she can’t compel them anymore, her feelings to them merely a whispered suggestion now.
The Vanguard accept this with reverence; their messiah is settling in, affirming herself to their purpose. She isn’t the child they had grown to fear; no, she returns their love, look at how she’s begun to care for them.
Imogen thinks her spark has begun to dim, and she knows just who to blame.
/
In the end, Imogen Temult and Laudna meet just the once. Imogen stands at the edge of her world, looking at the mountain that makes up her horizon, and she feels the approach of that symphony that’s been drowning out her powers since the other woman opened up to their connection.
She should be seething, she thinks. She should muster so much of the storm that the woman will fry where she stands. The world of the Ruby Vanguard should be marked by two graves struck by lightning; she, their messiah, should facilitate it.
Instead, she stands in the middle of the destruction she had wrought not too long ago, a circle of crisp, dead plants, in a field full of flowers blowing in a breeze, and she watches the approach of the woman whose shadow eclipses more of the world than it has any right to.
“It’s you,” Imogen can’t speak above a whisper, finds herself choked up by the woman’s presence - afraid of what it means. Imogen had spent years crippling anyone who approached, spent years crippled herself by their presence - this woman brings only music with her. There’s no headache on either side, no words to drown out.
“It is.” Laudna agrees. She isn’t afraid. She smiles at Imogen, and there are more teeth in that smile than Imogen has ever seen before. Laudna ghosts her hand over Imogen’s cheekbone; there is no electricity to stop her. Imogen has never had someone so close to her, and her breath catches.
Imogen wishes she could immolate her on the spot; she knows she could not draw the power to do so even if she wished to. Laudna’s eyes twinkle.
“Why did you do this?” Imogen asks even as she leans into the other woman’s touch. “Why are you interrupting my destiny?”
“Destiny?” She echoes, with a laugh. “Sweet girl, it was no more your destiny to bring about the apocalypse than it is mine to be the hero. People should be kinder than the gods that eat them. We are both vessels for people much worse than us. The difference,” she angles her face down towards Imogen’s, whispers has if telling her a secret, “is that I’ve come to the conclusion I can empty you of yours.”
Imogen tenses and reaches for Laudna’s chest, bunches the fabric of her dress in her fists, unsure what she even intends to do. Laudna’s hands close around her wrists. “Is that such a bad thing?” Laudna rasps, her whisper barely coming out around her broken vocal chords, head tilted toward Imogen but cocked on the angle that was the end of Matilda. “Why should the godeater’s outcomes for you be natural, and the path you forge on your own obscene?” Her grip tightens, and Imogen wills her power forward, taking the effort to muster up what was once unavoidable for her, sparks flying through her cracked skin into the other woman. Laudna continues speaking as if she doesn’t feel a thing, ranting at her patron, at Imogen’s, at you - “Do you intend to let them have every part of you, Imogen Temult? To take all that was good and all that was rotten and every ounce of potential in you and eat you up? To let them keep whispering to you that you’re right on the verge of realizing something, gaining something real and true, walking on a path that is not yours and that you did not choose, a baited fucking lure to a godsdamned noose-” she releases Imogen’s wrists, turns away from the woman, looks towards the heavens, screams to Delilah, to you, to Predathos, any who may hear - “doesn’t that make you ashamed? To scavenge off our lives, when they’re all we have?”
Her chest heaves with the effort of shouting, and she slowly turns towards Imogen, who had reached for her once more. Imogen’s fingers, still glowing with the pulsing power that marked her as a savior, lightly skim over the dead woman’s jaw. Imogen Temult, who had long since thought she would never be able to be close to another human being, leans into the woman whom she cannot shock, and before she can stop to think, she kisses her.
Laudna is not fast to react, but when she does, it is with need, with hunger that has defined her existence. She deepens the kiss, nibbles at Imogen’s bottom lip. They both feel a click, a sense of belonging that they’d wanted their whole lives, and then - it ends.
They stand together, Imogen’s head against Laudna’s still chest, taking in the flowers and the breeze, separate from either of their worlds, on the cusp of something new, until Imogen, a savior who knows she can no longer do any saving, a messiah who was not raised to know patience, has to ask: “Why are you here? Really, why are you here?”
Laudna doesn’t move, doesn’t turn her gaze to the other woman. “I’m going to kill your mother and burn this fucking cult to the ground.”
“Why?”
“Because the woman in my head wants to use their power to her own ends, and I cannot allow that. As long as they live, she will use me to reach for them, for the power they’ve amassed here, and it is my lot in my unlife to keep her with me and stop her from entering your world. I do what I must.” Laudna states it all, matter-of-fact, having thought about it for as long as she’s known they existed.
“If she… uses you to reach for it, how are you stopping her now?”
Laudna finally looks at Imogen, her mouth opening into a crooked smile made more crooked by the bend in her neck. “She thinks she’s all-powerful, but I absorb power for the both of us, not just for her. I am not her dog eating table scraps. I have my tricks, and when Delilah awakes again, I’ll simply tell her there was infighting in the cult, and Liliana Temult and their little moon beacon didn’t survive the fight.” There’s mirth dancing in her eyes.
Imogen absorbs this all, thinks of the broken people who come to her mother out of desperation, not out of desire for the red end. Knows that she no longer possesses the power to unleash the storm on the world even if she had ever wanted to - feels Laudna’s thoughts but cannot read them. “Will you - will you let them run, if they want to?”
“Oh, most of them will run, I expect. I won’t stop them. Unless you want me to?” For the first time, Imogen’s opinion seems to matter to her.
“No, I… no, let them go, if you can.”
Laudna nods, begins to walk towards the encampment, leaving Imogen behind in the ring of dead plants. “Wait!” Laudna stops, turns towards Imogen. “What will I do?”
A small, genuine smile from the dead woman. “Your path will be your own.”
“Will I ever see you again?”
Laudna stills, looks towards the sky and squints before locking eyes with Imogen. “Sweet girl. There is a whole world. Pray that you don’t.” She turns, again, to walk towards the death and blood you have always intended for her, and then stops, and smiles again at Imogen. “May your peace find you on a lonely road, Imogen Temult.”
Laudna makes her way towards the encampment of the Ruby Vanguard. She does not turn back. Imogen looks toward the mountain - the edge of her world so long as she has lived, and she begins to walk.
#critical role#cr3#cr 3#imodna#southern gothic#southerngothic#imodna fic#cr fic#laudnogen#bell's hells fic#critical role fic#surely that's enough tags#it was cool to finally finish and get to share this with you all. i hope you all like it#i don't know what will be next from me but it won't be any time soon unless something wild strikes me that i'm not currently cooking#(by cooking really I mean dreaming of one and the slowest possible simmer on another)#anyway. if you're here. thank you so much#i really mean that#life has been hard and weird lately but it's nice to have a weird nerdy community around me
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It's moments like me saying something hilariously false to a guy who I'm dating in an effort to get him to argue with me that I realize.. this wild Ne is chaos at night
#it's a good thing he's a good match#and just makes this knowing face#he's like#i ain't arguing with that#lmao#sad i gotta break up with him#age difference is too much#(21 years my senior)#which is fine i'm 30#frontal lobe is fully formed#i'm well paid and don't need a sugar daddy or anything we just hit it off#but he's raised my expectations for all men#he's very hot (objectively) lordy lordy lord and he looks 10 years younger (which is why we got started in the first place)#and he puts so much effort#cooks and cleans for me#and knows not to argue with me lol.. i say something and he's like sure you're right.#-.- but yeah it's the most right answer for a partner of mine#ne#entp#sad i still have to keep looking
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