#YOU CAN FIX THIS FIXER UPPER

[ruenii]

Okay but “Fixer Upper” from Frozen can actually make a banger klance animatic??

Like the team is trying to set both Keith and Lance up while also simultaneously clowning them because you think that with all the goo goo eyes made to each other they still arent dating yet.

IF ONLY I HAD MORE FREE TIME I WOULD DO IT MYSELF DAMMIT !!!!!

[tumblingxelian]

Batman: I cannot be with my loved one's, not truly, my true soulmate is Gotham.

Gotham: Fuck off, you barely live here, I have several soul mates and none of them are you!

[idkwidatp]

"her quote engagement is a flex arrangement" I'M SORRY WHAT HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT WHY WOULDNT YOU WARN THEM this is why i love the theory that the trolls are the real villains.

[dante-mightdie]

Maybe with the addition of the twins butcher!Simon and wifey decide it's time to move out of their apartment, and get a bigger place.

And perhaps after their first family camping trip they decide on a semi secluded cabin in the woods. It's a bit of a fixer-upper, but it's close enough to town that they can still get to the shop everyday without much hassle, and far enough away that they have plenty of space to raise the girls, and enjoy nature.

They get to spend time together really making the place their own, and Simon can show off for his wifey, fixing things around the house, building furniture, maybe preparing space for a garden for reader, and a big playhouse for the little lambs. :)

it is definitely a fixer-upper and simon wasn’t convinced he was willing to put the effort in but when his postpartum wife starts sobbing over the beautiful willow tree hanging at the bottom of the river nearby, claiming that you have to have it

and when he sees the dilapidated swings hanging from the branches, he thinks about the two little infants that’ll be running around before you both know it. yeah, that seals the deal for him. he’ll build up the home for his girls if that’s what they want

plus he’s grateful for the extra space, truly. hates seeing you change diapers on your knees because there was no space in the flat before. in the first week in your new home, he has a rocking chair, a changing table and two matching cribs built for your girls

probably the type to keep chickens for the girls to help look after when they’re old enough. also love the idea of simon refurbishing the upstairs into bedrooms for all the babies he plans on giving you <3 leaving you both with a huge master bedroom downstairs

sigh I love him

[helaintoloki]

I am just so obsessed with the idea of Five and Reader's domestic life (without all those doomsday shite) 🫠 so please, if you can, I'd love to read something related to that 🙏🏻

a/n: hi anon sorry for the wait ! i just started the fall semester and haven’t had much time to write but i hope you enjoy this little slice of life -esque fic

warning: basically pure fluff

The dance hall is nearly empty save for the elderly couple rocking back and forth in each other’s arms in front of the stage where the big band plays their last song of the night. Tired busboys and cleanup crew members clear away the tables and sweep up any mess to prepare for the next day of business. Despite the evening coming to a close, you’re in no hurry to leave Five’s arms as he delicately twirls you around the dance floor to one of his favorite songs.

“Ready to call it a night?” He asks with a careful smile after watching your eyes nearly flutter shut for a third time. He knows you well enough to detect when you’ve reached the point of exhaustion, but he also knows you’re not one to ever admit this out of your own volition.

“Tired already, old man?” You counter playfully, but you don’t protest as he begins to lead you off the dance floor and out the doors to your car. Your feet are killing you and you want nothing more than to crawl into bed, and Five is fully aware of your current internal dialogue. He helps you into the car and even slips off your heels for you before taking his place behind the wheel.

“This was nice,” he admits in a soft voice, glancing over at you in the passenger’s seat. Your head is pressed against the cool glass of the window as you watch the city streets pass by, and you let out a gentle hum in response to his comment.

“It’s nice we get to do normal couple things now,” you agree thoughtfully. “No assignments to complete, no world-ending apocalyptic threats to stop, no timelines to fix. Just us getting another chance to relive our twenties again in a world where the moon is still intact.”

“I’m sorry about all that,” Five relents with a tired sigh. If not for him you probably never would have been wrapped up in all that mess in the first place, and he feels partly responsible for the chaotic nature your life had taken on the last few decades.

“Hey,” you call gently, prompting the boy to glance over at your sincere gaze and soft smile, “I wouldn’t change it for the world, you know that. I literally had the chance to, but I decided against it.”

“Don’t remind me,” he scoffs quietly at the memory. The Handler had cornered you once with an enticing deal- a chance to return to your own time in exchange for Five’s whereabouts and his plans to stop the end of the world. She mistakenly underestimated your loyalty to the time traveler, and you had gifted her with a solid right hook in response to her offer. That all felt so long ago to you both now.

The headlights of the car drown your front yard in artificial light as Five finally pulls into the driveway of your humble home. After everything had been set back to normal and the Cleanse had been stopped, you both decided to move out into the suburbs and purchased a lovely little fixer upper in a quiet neighborhood where almost nothing seemed to happen. It was exactly the fresh start you needed, and every time you stepped over the threshold through the front door you felt your heart fill with warmth all over again just like it had the first time Five had carried you inside.

“I think we should get a dog,” you voice aloud for no particular reason as you flip on the lights and shut the door behind you. The house is cozily warm despite your absence, and already you can feel the eagerness rising within you at the thought of crawling into bed.

“A dog?” Five repeats with a raised brow as he hangs his coat on the wall and sets your heels upon the shoe rack next to his own.

“After married people get a house they usually start having kids, or they get a dog,” you explain with a casual wave of your hand as you walk through the hallway and into the kitchen to fix yourself a glass of water. “I think we should get a dog.”

“Not a kid?” Five teases as his fingers playfully poke into your side. You jump at the feeling, and he uses the distraction as an opportunity to steal your glass from you so that he may take a hearty gulp of water before you can protest.

“I don’t think we’re ready for that yet. At least, I’m not. I can hardly handle babysitting Grace and the twins as it is.”

“To be fair, they take after their parents,” Five reminds you with a sarcastic chuckle before handing you your freshly refilled glass of water. “I think our kids would stand a better chance.”

“A Hargreeves child with a y/l/n as their mother?” You retort with a pointed look and uneasy smile. “Not likely. I’d like to remain chaos free for at least another few years before we get to that.”

“I can’t argue with that,” he relents with a sigh before wrapping his arms around you from behind and resting his chin on your shoulder. “We’ve had enough chaos to last us a lifetime. The kids can wait.”

“So we’re getting a dog?”

“We’ll get a dog,” Five chuckles with a careful nod as he presses his lips to your cheek.

“Can we name him Mr. Pennycrumb?”

“Mr. Pennycrumb?” Your husband retorts skeptically, pulling away to analyze your facial features in search of any falsehood or mirth. “Where’d you come up with that?”

“I read it in a comic book once,” you offer with a simple shrug as if it’s the most obvious explanation in the world. Despite how much time he’s spent with you, you still always find a way to surprise him when he least expects it. It’s one of the many things he loves about you, and it’s why your relationship has remained so strong after all this time. It’s hard to reach a stalemate when you’re always keeping him on his toes.

“Of course, what was I thinking,” Five hums thoughtfully as he pulls away from your figure and sets your now empty cup in the sink. “Mr. Pennycrumb it is.”

He presses a kiss to the crown of your head and turns to leave for the bedroom, but your melodious call of his name has him stopping dead in his tracks. You move forward to loosen his tie for him, an adoring smile on your face as you peer up at him through your lashes and quietly voice, “I love you.”

He grins, his gaze soft with a look that is only reserved for you as he presses his lips to your forehead and gifts you a tender hearted kiss. What he ever did to be lucky enough to have someone like you, he’ll never know, but what he does know is that he’ll gladly spend the rest of his time on this earth making you happy with the life you’ve built together.

“I love you too,” he utters reverently before pulling you into his arms once more for another kiss.

[yuzuvrse]

yeah so i may be insane // cw nsft

thinking about grant curly with a saviour complex, who thinks he can save your fucked up ass. he's so kind and gentle — he's the perfect boyfriend, so tender in everything he does. but something inside of you is a little bit broken and curly just isn't scratching that itch for you, yknow?

surely you can't actually be loved. there's no way he sees all your disgusting flaws and loves you despite them. so you pull away, avoiding him more and more, and you end up going for his best friend jimmy zare.

jimmy, who's worse than you. jimmy, who you can pretend to save. jimmy, who's irreparably shattered and would very much like to break you too. you always liked a fixer upper, just not when you're the one being fixed.

and that's how curly catches you with jimmy's dick down your throat. the worst part? he gets hard.

thinking about curly who's seen jimmy get too close with unwilling girls too many times. he's never said anything before but when it comes to you? that's a different story. he's fully convinced jimmy forced you into this, you could tell him to his face that you slept with jimmy on purpose and he'll still say that jimmy is manipulating/coercing you into saying all this things.

you don't have to worry, baby, curly knows what that evil jimmy's been doing to you. it's okay, curly's here now. he'll replace all memory of jimmy with his touch instead.

thinking about how at this point curly is the one who's gaslighting/manipulating you into sleeping with him bc you could not give less of a fuck abt him. like yeah he's nice. he was a great boyfriend. he may have actually come devastatingly close to melting your heart and making you love him.

but you've nipped that in the bud and now your feelings for him have switched off, just like that. a bit like a leaky faucet, still dripping out tiny droplets of affection occasionally, like when he spreads your legs and asks, "where did jimmy touch you, baby? here? it's okay, daddy's got you now."

or maybe that's just lust. at this point you can't tell the difference.

[hometoursandotherstuff]

This fixer upper is a bargain. It already has a pending sale. It's called "The Gatehouse," an 1859 historic home in Bellefonte, PA. 4bds, 3ba, 2,325 sq ft, $200k.

Cars will go thru your house to visit the cemetery. I don't know why, but I love this house. For the price, I think it's well worth fixing up. Take a look inside.

The front enters into a living room and the current owners installed a spiral staircase in the corner.

It's squeezed in a little tight, and there's a powder room in here, too. I don't know if I would keep that there.

Meanwhile, the stairs go up to a loft.

It's a nice big room and the heat is in.

The kitchen isn't done. That looks like a plate covering an opening where the stove was.

This area, however, has a new floor, drywall, and sink hookup.

So, it looks like they moved the kitchen.

This area would have to be reconfigured. Look at that high door. They've put in plenty of wall sockets. It's an interesting home.

Shower room.

This bedroom on the 2nd fl. is finished. It has a door to the terrace, and 2 closets.

Vintage bath. The tub is original. They saved it, but it's so rusty.

This is going to be a laundry room.

Hallway with vintage doors and floor. I think that this is the part of the house that is over the cemetery entrance so you can get to the other side.

I think that sometimes it's better if the owner didn't even start a reno. Like what was he doing here?

This little shed on the property is cute.

Looks like he was using it for storage and a workshop.

Got a sweet little yard here. That looks like an original Victorian fence.

There's the terrace, a nice little covered deck, and look at how the house goes over the entrance to the cemetery so you can cross to the other side. This house is so cool.

Cute.

Gravestone of the former owner. She watched over the cemetery after her husband's death.

Look at the original antique keys.

This home has history and it's so unique.

The home is a Folk Victorian style and some think it was moved to this location after being a law office. Others think that it always served as the entrance to the cemetery. The property has been acknowledged by historic preservation groups for its architectural and historic significance. So, what do you think? Worth it or not? 8,276 sq ft lot.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/334-E-Howard-St-Bellefonte-PA-16823/75215534_zpid/

[dustisus]

headcanon that nicky is actually quite handy. he doesn't think much of it because it's just something he had to learn, since a three-bedroom house on a hospitality worker's budget meant it needed to be a bit of a fixer-upper.

none of the foxes (save aaron and andrew) find out until something important in the dorms (lights, plumbing) stops working on a holiday, when they can't get someone quickly to solve it for them. when nicky says he can fix it none of them really believe him but are quickly astonished as it seems like he actually knows what he's doing. and he's just like "yeah hahah i had to fix this aaall the time in the house. what you really need though is..." and everyone gets to see a side of nicky they've never seen before.

[s0fter-sin]

cw mild horror

johnny moves into a new house with his dog riley after his last relationship implodes

it's on the older side, a fixer upper; a project he can lose himself in so he doesn't have to let himself think of how his ex used him up just to toss him aside. the backyard's huge with a cluster of trees ringing the property that look beautiful in the sunset. it even has a basement, rarely seen in the uk, that's perfect to store all the supplies he'll need to fix the place up

the only downside is how far away it is from everything; it takes a good hour to drive to anything

but johnny has riley and that's all he needs

he talks to him as he works on the place; promises a new start for them both, that this could be the place they always needed. sure it's old and the groans and scratches that occasionally come from the walls can be a bit unsettling and the smell coming from the dumbwaiter is… concerning but johnny needs this place to work; he needs something to go right and be his and if that thing is a slightly creepy house then so be it

it was a steal; he still can't believe how cheap he got it considering the size of the block but the realtor seemed all too happy to be rid of it. she couldn’t tell him much about the place beyond the size of the land and that it only belonged to two people since it was built; the original owner who built it before it went abandoned for a decade or so until it was bought by a young couple who owned it for over thirty years

he asked about the couple, if they were happy in the long years they lived here, but she just said it wasn’t her place to say. johnny just shrugged; guess confidentiality extends beyond doctors these days

riley sticks by his side as he evaluates the house, figuring out what needs to be done and what to prioritise. he gives himself a week to wallow, living out of boxes with battery powered lanterns to light his - admittedly dismal - dinners before he gets to work. he decides to start with the wiring and old electricity box in the basement. riley occasionally gets distracted by some smell in the old vents but always coming back when johnny starts talking again

it's late by the time he gets the lights to finally stay on so he decides to shower in his newly lit bathroom and turn in

he's laying in bed, hair still wet, when he hears the scratch of riley's nails on the floorboards and sighs, swinging an arm down the side of the bed for pets if riley wants them; wiggling them in invitation when feels his breath on his fingers

"am i doing the right thing?" he asks him. "just- up and leavin'? i don't miss him. i don't... but... should i have tried to make it right 'stead of runnin' with my tail between my legs?"

riley's breaths are all that answer him

then he remembers his ex's apathetic face when he walked in on him in their living room; when he looked him right in the eyes and didn't even bother to stop his moans or hide the legs slung around his waist

"that shouldn't be on me," he growls. "he's the one who decided to nail that goddamn tart- i shouldn't be the one to have to fix shit. he should've been the one on his knees beggin' me to stay."

and he did beg- begged him not to sell the flat he owned and already paid off, the one his ex never spent a dime on rent on yet still had the audacity to ask to stay until he found a new place to fuck his side piece in

"just... why didn't he try?" he whispers. "...why wasn't i enough?"

johnny flinches as riley's tongue laps at his fingers, thick and wet and gross, and he huffs a laugh. "you're right," he smiles. "we're better off without him. just you and me, aye boy?"

he doesn't stop licking and johhny laughs again, pulling his hand back to wipe off on the sheets

"nasty boy," he chuckles. "least you love me."

a whine comes from the bedroom door and johnny frowns, looking over as the door swayed open; he thought he treated those hinges already, the sound was driving him nuts

bloody old place, he groans, sitting up-

and freezes when riley cocks his head at him from the doorway

johnny's throat constricts, ice flooding his system while the warm, wet saliva still on his hand burns. his neck protests as he slowly turns to his left, his quickening breaths roaring in his ears; everything in him begging him to not to look-

and screams when he sees a pair of brown eyes and wet lips spread in a wild grin before the man throws himself back into the vent in the wall

the same scratching and groaning johnny’s heard since the day he moved in following him as he crawls somewhere inside the house

[running-with-kn1ves]

Phrogging. Or... Spider-ing?

A/N: Ignore the dumbass title I couldn't think of anything more captivating; Missed my love for driders-- I wish spiders were real 💔

Synopsis: You move into an old, but enticing fixer-upper of a house. While doing your general, you know, fixing-upping, you come face to face with the cause of the bumps in the night you’ve been plagued by. 

CW: Spiders, attempts at intimidation, fear, GN Reader

You know that skittering you hear while laying in bed sometimes? Little 'tic tic tics' behind your headboard as you try to sleep at night, or muffled bumps under the old hardwood floor creating flurries of dust as the thumping moves to another side of the room. Yeah, not always the most comforting feeling, especially when you're busy plastering white paint on old, cobwebbed walls at eleven at night, in a home built decades before you were born. 

Eggshell-colored sludge covered your elbows and cheeks, small speckles crusted over the dust on your ‘new’ floors and painting sheet. The bumps were a constant source of annoyance, especially tonight while you yourself, were making a bit of a ruckus. You didn't dare move while listening to the sound, a large roller still held rigidly in your dominant hand, dripping white onto the floor. Another thump resounded, creating small tornadoes of dust. And then another. They were farther away this time, to the south of your damp, italianate-style home. Ghosts and goblins weren't your forte-- even with the near century-old two-story you've been blessed to snatch off the market in time, you thought the cobwebs and oddly spacious basement were just remnants of the old owners, creaking with age and dim with use-- not the presence of the otherworldly. 

But these little tip-taps and deep grunts from below were by no means just a product of old wood and concrete-- they were... intentional. The roar of the incinerator was recognizable, separate from the sound of disturbing bangs from below.

The thump moved again, this time your paint roller falling into its wet bucket of a home as your legs shake, falling asleep from use; painting around the baseboards of your new suite (a dream bedroom-- even if it was caked in a layer of mouse droppings) was no easy feat, on you or your joints. 

Underneath a box of old sheets the thump went to disrupt the floor again, the box jumping a quarter inch off the ground. 

Your queasy legs rise to investigate. 

Down the hall and to the ground level, you avoid several caved-in steps as you leave the second floor. The shimmer of dust particles in the air makes you sniffle, rubbing your nose raw as you make it down. The basement door, only a few feet on the wall to your left, sat slightly ajar. 

The door bolt lays unused and slightly clanking against the rotting wood. A foul smell wafts from the open crack, a stench you have yet to get rid of even long after scrubbing the stairs with bleach from top to bottom. Perhaps the wood is starting to mold. 

They're damp when you rest on the first basement step with your socked foot, deadbolt still clinking as you watch the darkness. Nothing stirs, besides dust particles mixed with the smell of petrichor. 

Racing to the bottom of the staircase you rapidly search for the lightswitch, nearly tripping in the oncoming darkness.

Flipping one of them on and off again as the musty odor creeps closer, you can sense the movement of unseen creatures; blindly feeling for the second lightswitch, a dreary yellow from above finally bursts in the cavern of decade-old belongings, along with the sound of a whirring ceiling fan on the brink of falling out of the old cement.

Nothing seemed out of place, old dusted boxes lying against one another with wet stuff seeping from their rotten corners. A quiet ‘drip drip’ came from somewhere. 

A small sigh escaped from your dry mouth, corners of your lips sticking together from lack of use in anything other than swallowing your sandpapering tongue.

You scanned the room, all dawned in yellow except the deep corners of the basement. It read as usual, giving off the same historic, uncomfortably wet aura. But your eyes stopped, either out of a disruption in the moldy pattern, or an instinctual fear that was trying to warn you. 

Slender and black, it looked almost frozen, except for some wrongful twitching at its tip; you might’ve ignored it as a large crack in the wall, or perhaps dripping sewage from the upstairs bathroom if it had stayed still. But it curled, just slightly bent and sticking out like an appendage. It was aggregate with notches like a finger, jointed. It seemed to notice your staring, creating a creaking tap before it disappeared into the darkness of the ceiling beams and rotted corner to your right. 

Horror was slow to dawn on your face, exhaustion making your skin droop where wrinkles would show in only a matter of time. You had seen that, right? It wasn’t just your brain making things up because it was way past your self-mandated bed time?

The panic causing your heart to speed three times faster than the original lethargic beats was real, though. And that was enough for you to believe you were more than hallucinating. Blindly you search your back pockets for your phone, not daring to take your eyes away from the now empty, peeling corner. 

You hadn’t noticed the drumming that harassed you while painting had stopped-- until it started again. This time it came from above, dancing on the ceiling beams where you couldn’t see, sounding as if it was coming directly for you. When you were upstairs it was almost aimless, moving around like a cat with its head stuck in a box.

 You pressed a hand in front of your mouth, trying not to scream; it would do no good to wake the elderly neighbors, who already seemed prepared to destroy an outsider like you through the homeowners association. Well, what good would that be if you were dead!

Whatever the leg belonged to, it must have sensed your urgency as you tried to shuffle back up the stairs, your body pressed against the back wall to keep your eyes on the basement. The unclosable door upstairs had gently gone shut, the door bolt swinging against the splintered wood as if it too didn’t understand what had closed the door so simply. 

It had distracted you from your real fear, the thing you took your eyes away from. 

“Hello, there.” 

Wide-eyed and shaking, you drew yourself to look back at the dark corner, but the voice was far too close to come from so far away. 

“Up here, simpleton.”

Your paint-dried fingernails dug into the split wood from behind, begging for some stability besides the wet stairs beneath your soggy feet. 

Stuttering breaths ran throughout the groaning, mildew beast of the basement. You prepped for the worst, for some kind of phrogger or decaying corpse that found a way to haunt you. Burning tears tugged at the sides of your eyes, falling asbestos egging on your terror.

But what you found was a… young man; the kind of man you wouldn’t expect to be living in your basement, nonetheless hanging from the exposed beams of your basement. His eyes glowed with a round, edgeless face, oval and smooth like glass. His features were darkened by the shadows from above, the yellow lightbulb bathing him in a dark black and flaxen.

“What-- who are you,” You swallowed your fear, now that you knew for sure it was just some freak hiding out down here, rather than some supernatural entity. “Why are you in my house?”

Your voice grew stern, angry with the exhaustion this adventure had put you in. 

“Your house?” He scoffed, the thumping following him as a black mass from underneath his face carried him to another beam, this time closer to you and the railing of the stairs. 

You stomped down to the cold last step of the basement stairs, wondering if you should go as far as to find a broom and start pushing him out with it. 

“As far as I was aware, this was free territory, since.. Oh well, I don’t know. But it’s been over a decade since a beast like you had attempted to enter my home.” 

You nearly scoffed back, his home?

But the mockery was taken away from you as the long, slender appendage was made visible again. It slowly lowered itself from between the beams, the man from above moving with it. Another had shown itself, and then another. The man fell to the floor, black limbs and mass breaking his fall. 

The human upper half raised itself far above you, the long, obsidian spindles of his hair a tangled mess as his head nearly touched the beams from above. He barely fit in the ground floor of the basement, the ‘legs’ of his lower half grazing against damp boxes and an old piano shoved at the corner. The softness of his jaw was deceiving; humanly. However the darkness and creasing of his eyes showed his true nature, his antiquity. From the fullness of his flesh to small black freckles and his square nose, he displayed the range of features most humans would have; and yet, he was terrifyingly un-human. 

He towered in a menacing stance, hands to his side and shoulders slightly raised, as if he would come at you with his arms swinging if he sensed threat. 

You looked down to the part that confused your mind, dark legs taping inconsistently, and yet in a calculated pattern as each leg followed one another. Below its torso, where you prayed a pair of cargo pants or torn jeans would be, instead held the teardrop shaped abdomen you would see on one of the many spiders you’ve killed since you’ve been here. The legs were an extension of its beautifully horrific lower-half, black and sheening as a thin layer of shiny, spiked hairs were standing on end. 

You looked back up to see its face, horror engulfing in your own as you waited for the rest of the monster to turn into what it depicted. You almost jumped as the closed black lines you took for wrinkles or dust on its face opened up, a variety of blackened eyes glistening to stare at you. You didn’t have the sense to count, taken aback at what your mind had conjured in front of you. 

“You-- it--” Clutching at your heart you tried to stop the squeezing that held you frozen. “This isn’t real...”

“I suggest if you don’t want a roommate, or rather-- don’t want me to eat you, you abandon this residence, immediately.” 

You sucked in a raspy breath, again pushing yourself against the rotting wall to create distance from the towering, spider-like man.

“It’s my house..” You whispered, waiting for him to open his jaws like a snake and aim for your neck. He looked confused only for a moment, a clear tension of rage bubbling up in his pinched expression. “It’s my house.” You said louder, clearing your throat. 

At this, he just stared. What you took as anger was rather an inability to form a response on his end. 

“And what makes this yours? Your presence, your belongings?”

“My name is on the deed; I forked out thousands, there’s even a loan in my name, if you’d like to see that.” 

“Deed…” He repeated, unsure what to make of it. “I don’t know what the ‘deed’ is that you speak of, or the methods you have taken to try and gain ownership, but I assure you this land is claimed.”

You still clutched at your chest against the stairs, waiting for a move to be made. This was not something you had ever encountered before-- you didn’t even know who to contact, as you were certain the real-estate agent who handed you the keys wouldn’t be of any assistance. Any foreclosed homes’ problems were the new owner’s responsibility to handle, whether it be mold or a seven-foot creature residing in the basement. 

Do you call animal control? That can’t be right, he speaks, he’s even telling you to leave your own home. 

There had to be some kind of compromise to be made. You gather the courage to speak again, taking a deep breath to avoid stuttering.

“Well… no one needs to leave, just yet. Right? We can.. Figure this out somehow. We’re both reasonable here, there can be some arrangement to be made?”

It sounded as if you were asking him for permission, the farthest thing from the truth. All this hard work in renovating and you were going to give it up to some basement-dwelling beast? No way, you’d fight him off if you had to, even if you trembled while doing so. 

The creature was hesitant, bringing a hand up to grab onto the ceiling beam. His eyes cast down in thought, thin eyebrows furrowed in uncertainty. 

“Humans don’t do well for very long here, I assure you.” He gave a grimace, trying to avoid the obviousness of how he stared up, and down at your curled-in form, clearly frightened and trying to keep your distance like a cornered animal. “But I suppose it's the only option, if you don’t intend on leaving.” 

“So…” You swallowed the dryness of your mouth, close to heaving. “You’re not going to try eating me right now, or while I sleep or something?”

He tried to prevent an amused grin from pulling up the right side of his face, but a small dimple couldn’t hide it.

“No. I was bluffing, in the hopes that you’d run away. I’ve never tried human, and don’t plan on it; much too coarse.” He let go of the beam, seeming to shrink down as his attack stance became less of an assurance. “Doesn’t mean I’m unwilling if the opportunity arises, however.” 

“You almost instinctively relaxed as you watched him do so, trying to slow your sporadic heart that was still running at full speed. 

“But, aren’t you-- at least, part-human in some sort?” You wondered if this was the right time to be asking questions seeing as this creature-- who was certainly by no means harmless-- was only a few feet away from you and clearly distrusting.

“Getting into the family history before even knowing my name? That’s not particularly kind of an intruder.” He smiles outwardly this time, a creepy grin showing underneath the heavy hair curtaining around his face; it was starting to appear more gaunt the farther he stepped into the light. “But yes, arachnid’s have some human traits; I just appear less frightening to your eyes than my friends.”

As he speaks he lifts up a thin, lengthy arm, watching as something black crawls from behind him and across his wrist. Squinting your eyes and unconsciously lifting closer you see its a spider, a thick, long-legged creature that looked like the father of all the other spiders you had been killing since you moved in. 

You almost seemed to lower your shoulders at realizing he was part human. That you weren’t witnessing some kind of demon or underworld spawn that could rip you apart with just its mind; he had a fair set of weaknesses, too. 

“Don’t relax just yet, human,” He spat the word like it was derogatory, letting the spider walking across his arm reach the beam to his left as he was growing into something fearful. “Just because I won’t kill you doesn’t mean you are safe.”

Even with the hardened glaze of his eyes, the look of sheer disturbance deadened into his lips and expression-- it was a relief to know you would live to see another day. 

“Why should I be afraid if you’re just going to sit here like an unpaying roommate? I’d rather you not be here, but if you’re going to leave me alive than I can deal with boarding off the basement, Mr. Spider.”

You challenge his shadowed face, watching how he leans back in a reclusive manner and goes still, save for one of his left legs tapping. 

Like clockwork, that creepy, unnervingly toothy smile curls open again as his hands rise forward, claw-like. 

You had gotten the courage to stand straight, ignoring the pounding of your chest as you watched him. But with two steps he was across the stair railing, using his legs to entrap you against the peeling wallpaper. 

His narrow arms shot out to claw against the wall next to your head, digging into it with thick nails as his face got close. 

“It’s Seir; don’t insult me with such an absurd name,” Anger tinged the edge of his tone, looking down at you with the abundance of his eyes; you could see they had a reddish ring around them, a dark crimson you would have never noticed otherwise. “I have seen more history than you have read about in your lifetime, more death and destruction than you will ever witness.” 

He watched your face drain in color, eyes wide at seeing him close; what he saw as fear, was partly fascination that tightened your lips. Not to say you weren’t terrified, of course. 

“I like your fear-- I relish it. It means you aren’t going to be blind and stupid, that you will obey, and be frightened. And for as long as you stay here, you will not know peace.” The wallpaper crumbles as he brings a chalky hand to your jaw, placing a delicate thumb to the curve below your ear. “A night will not go by where I won’t attempt to destroy any sense of safety you have. I will be in every corner, a million eyes watching so that you are never, never left alone.” He grows closer, lowering his elongated neck to see eye to eye with you, close enough to touch your nose with his own if he dared. “Are you prepared for these consequences of staying in my territory, of being utterly feasted on by me in every way besides your vessel?” 

Seir’s finger traces down your jaw to your neck, trying to invoke the fearful goosebumps most humans would have by the touch of a creature by him. Rarely did he take measures to touch a human in order to cause fear, but it was clear you would need more than the occasional hissing and view of his presence to run away and leave him to his solitude.

You look away, almost blinded by the unconventional handsomeness he portrayed if one looked deep enough; with a bath, a sheet above his spidered body, and maybe a haircut-- he would be no different than one of the well-dressed guys in finance who sped-walk past the cafe that you people-watched at, pretending to look for a job on your laptop. Well, the eight eyes decorating his face kind of destroyed the illusion.

The intimidation tactic he carried out was less frightening than when he was standing ominously in the middle of the basement, leaving his attempt almost campy. You huff, a little irritated and tired now that you were no longer in fight or flight mode. 

 “…It was just a nickname, geez. I didn’t know spiders could be so sensitive.” 

[terriwriting]

EDIT 2:

My phone is now "get this thing to a recycling depot for disposal" levels of dead. Currently sitting on my patio, on a brick in a glass baking dish. Hopefully the below-freezing weather helps keep it stable because I don't have time to go to a depot today.

Pinned post for flash fictions:

Three teenaged girls share a fixer-upper boyfriend, but their idea of fixing him up is to accidentally turn him into a supervillain.

Can't remember the title but I read an interesting premise once; A hitman decides to seek redemption by using his skills to only kill evil people. Which is not at all new or even interesting, but the second part of the premise caught my attention; the hitman decides that the best way to be sure he's killing evil people is to kill the people who try to hire him. After all, if you have the money, connections, and willingness to seek out a hitman, you must be a real bastard.

If you like what I do please consider tipping. It helps keep the lights on and the cats fed!

My Ko-fi

If you have Proton Wallet you can also tip me through that.

[biowaredisasterbisexual]

I’m sorry. I can’t. I try not to get involved in fandom foolishness too much. But egad, the vile treatment of Neve because she romances Lucanis if (AND ONLY IF) Rook romances neither of them is…horrific.

How, BisexualDisaster, you may ask?

1) A lot of critiquing that Neve is uncaring, unempathic, not supportive.

2) At least one claim (getting a lot of agreements in the notes) that Lucanis only gets together with Neve because it’s “easy.” She doesn’t “fix” him so he can just go on being I guess broken somehow?

3) A lot of references to her being too sexual.

4) Insinuations that she’s the type of woman you hook up with, but not the type you marry.

5) Insistence that because she is cynical, she isn’t overtly emotive in the way they would expect, she is unfeeling.

I just…..it’s awful. Why is it so awful? Well, let’s break that down point by point.

1) This is completely contradicted by canon. She goes out of her way for just about every companion to help them, even ones she isn’t super close to. She provides a sounding board and emotional support for Taash and Bellara explicitly in their quest lines. People are disregarding everything she actually says and does in the game to cast her in a role that seems entirely based on sexist and racist stereotypes.

2) There’s no basis for this either. Moreover, this is a truly troubling way to view mental health and healing. Lucanis is not a broken toy or a fixer-upper home. He doesn’t need someone to “fix” him. Nor is he too traumatized to make his own romantic choices. This argument infantilizes him, diminishes his own agency in his healing, and is sexist to boot. It’s ableist, misogynistic, and shitty.

3) This is such a common racist belief about WOC that I hardly know where to start. We are all hypersexual, and if we aren’t we are frigid and prudish and angry. I can’t even. What’s wrong with you all?

4) I’m inclined to agree that Neve isn’t a homemaker, but good grief, how tradwife can you get? I’M not a homemaker. My husband did the bulk of domestic labor in our relationship before he became disabled. Not every relationship needs to look like Leave It To Beaver, and insisting it does is wildly sexist. Oh, and this is also relying on the stereotypes of WOC all being sex-seeking ladies about town to boot.

5) This harkens to two stereotypes. The first is sexist: that women are expected to be outwardly emotive and fawning. That’s neither accurate nor fair. The second is racist: this is a subtle version of the Angry Black Woman stereotype. That WOC aren’t sweet and nurturing and only demonstrate Negative emotions.

This is ridiculous. It’s awful. It’s racist, sexist, and ableist all at once. In an effort to, what, make it so that if you don’t romance Lucanis with your Rook he can’t be with anyone else? It’s not a competition between Rook and Neve or Lucanis if your Rook is romancing them, because your LI CHOOSES ROOK. No one is stealing anyone from your Rook. It’s only if you romance neither that they get together, and the weird possessive idea that if you don’t have Lucanis no one should is deeply troubling.

Is your favorite movie Swimfan? Is it because it made you feel seen?

JFC.

Get it together, people.

Sincerely,

A WOC married to a sweet white man who knows how to cook

[buckysgrace]

14… Bills in his tank top fixing stuff around your apartment on a hot summer day and you just follow him around pretending to help but really you’re ogling him and trying to get his attention but he thinks you’re really interested in how the spark plugs work, or that kitchen drain, or the washing machine 🤭🤣😋

Billy Hargrove x gn!reader, prompts by @urfriendlywriter

CW: None, suggestive content <3

Your apartment was cheap, probably because it was a fixer upper. A real fixer upper. Many of the walls desperately needed a fresh coat of paint, some of the kitchen sink only worked if you hit it in a certain manner and the promise of a working washer and dryer in every unit had been a lie. It never worked. And Billy had had enough.

“Can you hand me the wrench?” Billy asked, snuggled tight into the little space behind the washer. He’d already removed the dryer, scooting it out of the way in a manner you had quite enjoyed. Suddenly you couldn’t protest over his stubbornness in calling anyone for help.

His muscles flexed, being shown off from the little white tank top he was wearing. It was loose on him, but it dipped down far enough that you were able to make out the silhouette of his muscles. His hair was pulled back, held out of his face by one of the scrunches he’d take from you.

“Uh,” You turned away from him, picking up the ones you saw immediately into your fist, “Which one?” You asked seriously, still feeling distracted as his blue eyes shot towards the way you were holding them. You were definitely thinking about holding something else.

“This one.” He said with a chuckle as he slowly pulled it free, his thick fingers pulling it from your grasp as his blue eyes just barely glimpsed at you. He was focused. Damn him.

“What’s it called?” You hummed as you moved in a little closer, inhaling the scent of his cologne and musk. Despite being so sweaty, he still smelt good. Or perhaps you were just losing your mind as you watched the way his fingers began to work once again.

“A pipe wrench,” He chuckled as he just briefly glanced to you, “I think I need to tighten the hose, maybe replace the fucker if this doesn’t work.” He explained to you, despite you having no clue of what he was meaning. Regardless, you didn’t want him to stop.

“Which would take longer?” You moved your hands to his strong hips, sighing at just how sweaty he was as you feigned being interested in what he was working on.

“What?” He looked at you curiously, raising his eyebrows a bit as you observed the beads of sweat across his forehead. You wanted to lick it all off, “I guess replacing it. Why?” He narrowed his eyes for a moment, like he knew you were up to something. You grinned sweetly.

“No reason.” You said with a nod of his head as you started to watch him again, eyes greedily drinking in the way his muscles moved. You had a strong urge to bite him, but had a feeling he wouldn’t appreciate that.

“You interested in all this?” He grumbled out the question, still sounding too distracted to look at you. You played your cards slowly, drifting your fingertips underneath his shirt and causing him to stall.

“Uh,” You paused for a second as a cheeky smile spread across your lips, “Something like that.” You giggles as you admired the feeling of his warm skin against your own. If he wanted to get hot and sweaty, you had a much better idea of how to do it.

“Pervert,” He laughed playfully as he leaned forward to kiss your warm forehead, “Now make yourself useful and get me the pliers.” He remarked, placing a swift smack against your ass before he was back to work. You mumbled as you began to search for the tool, determined to get a piece of him as soon as he was finished.

[myun-saidthoughts]

Understanding 12th House Synastry

(*updated* and more accurate post about about 12th house synastry overlays along with Neptune synastry that makes harsh aspects to another's inner planets such as the Sun, Moon, rising, Venus or Mars)

This post focuses exclusively on a 12th house relationship between two kind and evolved individuals. While there are other darker themes associated with 12th house synastry — such as deception, substance abuse, hidden affairs (like being the other woman or mistress), lies about one partner’s true nature, or fear that one partner is withholding information or their true self — I won’t be discussing those here. Here is a link to a post about how these darker themes may manifest: Click Here

“Though I barely know you, it feels as if I do. Your eyes and body language seem to speak your thoughts, even the ones I can’t fully grasp. There’s no visible thread connecting us, yet this feeling remains.” — Planet Person

There are two sides of 12th house synastry that I commonly see. The spectrum is different compared to the 8th house because with the 8th house, there are highs and lows, obvious extremes, there's oftentimes constant lessons, cycles and loops, but with the 12th house, there's a different undertone.

The 12th house is a very unforeseen house, when it comes with synastry, the spectrum of love that can be received and given is unfathomable. I am going to first discuss what this energy is like when someone deals with this type of synastry while having Neptune (especially harshly) aspecting your inner planets/12th house placements/Pisces placements; then I will go in-depth for how they would feel without those placements.

(that being said my main discussion deals with the foundation of both individuals having attraction or interest on both ends, as well as other intense synastry overlays such as harsh or soft attraction synastry aspects, + eros, lilith, chiron, pluto, or 8th house synastry)

As a 12th house native or with heavy Pisces influence (e.g., a Pisces Venus, Sun, Moon, rising, or with a natal Neptune squaring, opposing or conjunct the Sun, Moon, rising, Venus) this type of synastry is confusing, it's blurry and parts of you can second guess almost everything about them, what you are to them, what they are to you etc. There are no tangible boundaries when it comes to the emotional depth you are willing to feel for them. On some days you can find yourself wondering where you stand with them, you fixate on their energy, and you'll wonder if they're thinking of you. You look into their eyes and just feel their mental health struggles, their fears, their hidden thoughts, what they need to hear to feel seen past the 3D. You're like a walking and breathing affirmation audio tape of everything their subconscious always wished to of heard throughout life. That one broken image or belief they have within their subconscious self is the one thing you can't help but compliment them on, the feelings they ignore, suppress or hide away are the feelings you want to naturally reassure them about. It's like you become this real life 3D fixer upper for this individual, and you just can't help but be drawn with saving, helping, or fixing them. (undoubtedly so if you also fall in their 2nd house, especially your inner planets, if there is no 2nd house influence then the compliments/praising will be less intense or frequent)

The beginning of this synastry embodies confusion. Since there's no real tangible statement or understanding you can hold onto. You'll just know how they operate before ever really knowing them.

You'll just want to make sure that they are okay, and that can come in many different ways, you yourself will just know. You can turn into this savior that they never knew they needed, you'll just want to give and love everything out of them; and in some cases receiving or having that mutual give and take may be something you think you don't need, especially when it comes to them, and especially if you have a natal 12th House Venus or a Pisces Venus/a Natal Venus that squares, conjuncts or opposes Neptune (this can apply to the Moon as well).

If the above scenario resonates with you, then this individual is provoking a wound within yourself that deals with the acceptance of receiving authentic love. This innate need to only give highlights your own fear of receiving real reciprocal, stable, tangible love.

Therefore if you want to save, fix, heal or give, this desire only highlights that fearful nature within you where you allow to stay in shallow waters. You subconsciously know that you have such passionate love to give, but that thought of giving to someone who in turn might be willing to give back evokes fear and uncertainty within you.

This subconscious block holds more comfortability within you since it allows you to never accept a love where your soul will fully be fulfilled. It's self sabotaging and self written, you naturally already know how the story will end between you two, and so you subconsciously will find a character who perfectly embodies the story you yourself say you try to run from.

To reiterate; if you share the above placements you instantly can become drawn towards the house person. You will look at them and see every facet of their being, their hidden pain, their sorrows, why they feel the way they do, why they struggle the way they struggle, their mental health dilemmas, their soul; especially so if you as well have a water Moon that harshly aspects Neptune as well as the above listed placements. But these feelings don't persist automatically or openly, the desires the planet person or the one person who has the placements I listed/spiritual enlightenment + attraction towards the house person (or the other person) stays at bay and stays being unsaid, especially in the beginning. The planet person with these placements etc etc, can hold onto constant dilemmas and wonder if what they are feeling is real, if what they desire is one sided, especially if there is little to no communication between the dynamic.

On the other side of the spectrum, this bond (when wanted on both ends) can create a soul binding connection where the house person would feel like no one else can ever understand them the way the planet person can. No one else would be able to read them like the book they secretly are, no one else can look into their eyes and bring solace into their bones, which in-turn can cause the dynamic between them to consistently become something that is impossible to let go of.

With attraction + desire the house person may feel like a hug from the planet person* (or vice versa) is equivalent to receiving a sense of understanding and safety that they weren't aware they ever needed. The house person may just find themselves fully being able to lay and hold onto the planet person* and there's this unsaid desire just be next to them. The planet person* may instinctively feel this pull or knowing that there is a softer more serene side of the house person that not everyone see's and even though there's no tangible words to hold onto, that feeling within them doesn't dissipate. Just with one hug from the house person and the planet person* will know that there's a soft and quiet side inside them that they hide or suppress away.

* = placements I listed + spiritually understanding/enlighted

The house person will ask themselves: How do I let go of the one soul who speaks to the parts of myself that I don't even know? The intensity of the bond can vary based on each others natal placements, but I do believe the connection can become deep and unworldly even without the placements I've listed since attraction and desire are two KEY factors that would override any natal placement. Instant psychic understanding about one another on both ends (regardless of natal placements) can occur, you both will know what the other person is thinking, feeling, and needing. If there is genuine desire for one another then the depth of care can become very ethereal and unspoken, especially if the Moon or Venus are involved; if attraction is present and you have the placements I mentioned, a part of you will just want to hold onto the house person. You'll just want to comfort and be present in the moment with them. All that matters to you is that they are doing and feeling okay, with them this part of you unlocks where you just want to caress their soul. But like I said natal placements do have an immense influence, one individual could feel this pull and understanding (w/o the placements I mentioned) but the depth and length for caring may not run as deep as someone else who has the natal placements I listed. They will still care in some shape or form in ways they never knew was possible; but the turnover of moving on or of minimizing selfless acts can become more shallow and less frequent throughout time.

When wanted on both ends with genuine care and desire the song Run To You by Lea Michele perfectly depicts this type of deep care.

Now this type of synastry can also begin the influence of delusion or false presumptions. Genuineness and self awareness is key, not everyone will desire such depth of the unknown especially if they themselves have no set understanding of their own subconscious beliefs.

To reiterate, if this is one sided therefore if they don't share attraction or desire for you; then this type of behavior will feel invasive and they may become confused or unsure with what to do with that type of depth that your eyes can bring them, if they are unaware of their own shadow self, along with not wanting to change or be spiritually awoken, this type of connection can be daunting and misleading in some way for them.

Now lets go deeper: for someone who doesn't have any 12th house Venus, Pisces Venus, Neptune influence (or if you have little to no attraction or interest towards them), or low spiritual awareness/acknowledgement of your own mental health struggles/hidden fears and if someone comes in to your life where they fall in your 12th house, the feelings that acclimate mainly are confusion, resistance or hesitation. You might have some hidden curiosity about the planet person but generally the curiosity can be the furthest you go with this individual. There might be some hidden tension or eye glances towards another but with it there is also a barrier between the two of you. You may feel like you know their body language or what their eye glances mean but you more than likely brush it off and set aside any spiritual coincidences that you have with them. You may also wither back and forth between being more inclined to getting to know them to being unsure with your interest in them or there's a sense of unpreparedness you may struggle with when it comes to this individual. A part of you may feel like their type of love can sooth parts of you that you ignore or mentally struggle with but that type of care can feel unneeded and can bring in fear; since there is a unspoken knowing of what they are able to truly view and feel for you if they were your partner. You may ask yourself, "Can this person fix, and heal me? " "Do I really need to be saved?" "Is this all in my head?" "Can they be the pacifier for the pain I can't even openly express; or will they bring me more sorrow?"

(this dilemma of curiosity is more apparent if you share other direct intense synastry aspects such as 8th/pluto/intense attraction aspects especially with eros or lilith etc)

Another strong note I wanted to state is how often times with 12th house and Neptune synastry; the reason why this is the house of "hidden enemies" or there's horror stories where one partner hid addiction, lies, another woman or their true agenda towards the other partner is because this type of synastry can genuinely cloud judgment and hinder honest communication. There is often hidden uncertainty or a lack of awareness of what is really going on, primarily because this dynamic makes it easy to fall "victim" to a false persona. This happens when you're unaware of your own wounds, patterns of self-undoing, or fears surrounding with receiving reciprocal love. While I'm not going too in-depth with these themes—since, in my opinion, they deserve their own post—I want to reiterate the importance of staying grounded, aware, and avoiding getting lost in illusions or overthinking about someone who you know won't (or can't) change.

That being said, if there is a connection where one person has these natal placements and desires for the other individual but the other partner doesn't share the same attraction/placements; then that is when unrequited love or unspoken love can occur. To summarize, for 12th house and neptune synastry to be mutual even if the other partner doesn't have those natal placements, there has to be attraction or desire; whether it be physical, or emotional. Someone could have these placements that I've listed but if there is no want, attraction or desire towards the other person; the dynamic can also become one sided on their end even with the placements and tendencies of being drawn towards connections that share 12th/neptune/pisces influence.

12th house synastry is the house of selflessness, this is the house of giving and giving to no end; since in one essence this house holds no end or beginning, therefore the boundaries and understanding that this house can carry is unknown. Each dynamic with 12th house synastry can be complexed, there are many factors that play a role in influencing this type of connection such as your natal placements, their natal placements, your natal aspects, their natal aspects, you desire and attraction and their desire and attraction and so on. Someone could sit in this confused and undesired energy for the other person for months and have all the placements I've listed. Therefore if that said individual is not prepared or have any desires to hold a connection that is deep and unspoken, they themselves (the planet person or the person who has 12th house/neptune/pisces influence) may even still feel fear or invasiveness towards the other individual that their share 12th house synastry with or vice versa; there are so many avenues and routes these connections can take, at least that's from my own astrological understanding and take on these type of connections.

Side Note: To balance the intensity these synastry aspects/overlays bring, taking on the opposite houses themes would bring more ease and create less intensity.

For example, dealing with 12H (Even Neptune) synastry, the opposite house is the 6H, the house of routine, daily life, mundane affairs, healthcare, helping others/giving etc etc. So to ease this type of fixation this synastry can cause, focus and enhance your own skills when it comes to your physical/mental health. Add more day to day to activities that solely focuses on changing your routine; however big or small. That will ease the fixation that 12H and Neptune synastry brings. This synastry can cause you to daydream or obsess over them, and since you may have this innate need to be their savior that wants to try and fix their wounds, the chance of putting yourself in situations where your priority is solely them is very likely. You could also fantasize and have an escapist attitude with them, (or the idea of them) therefore, they can serve as an escape for you; by focusing on their pain and struggles might cause you to forget about your own mental health challenges. You also might repeat scenarios in your head or fantasize about situations happening; especially since you might feel confused/hazy with where you stand with them, therefore keeping yourself busy is key with this synastry, and that will create more control within you.

P.S

This is all from my own interpretation of 12th house synastry, I would confidently say I am a very very introspective person at heart, I read between the lines constantly and overly fixate on behavior etc and this synastry still clouded my own judgment and understanding for years; it brought in tendencies for me to doubt my true feelings and curiosity, only until I more so let go of the relationship that I am referencing (the boy where I have 8th house synastry with) was the only time I was able to fully look outside my situation with him when it came to my actions and feelings. The constant back and fourth dilemma I struggled with when it came to knowing him and who he was was constant yet truly instant. My soul knew him before my brain did and because of that knowing I was unsure and unconfident with the type of feelings that persisted in the dynamic I shared with him. I have made so many posts about 12th house synastry but I can confidently say that this current post is now the most accurate representation of what can occur between these relationships.

Hope this brings some clarity and understanding for others who have dealt with 12th house and Neptune synastry; if not disregard and again this type of synastry is truly nuanced and multifaceted.

If this resonates with you I have an eBook that perfectly depicts and explains if you are in a karmic relationship. It's about 8th/12th/Pluto/Neptune/Saturn/Vertex/Nodal synastry. I give insights, exact transits, exact synastry overlays, natal chart interpretations and more advice on what to do in these situations. More information is pinned on my page.

[gerbithats]

Absolutely everything I want to see for the next few years of The Sims 4: an extensive and giant list to check back in the next few years

update wishes:

UI update (even on CAS, why are we at 2 columns by default yet with so many packs released)

wants and fears system better connected with traits and aspirations

aspiration overhaul

plantsim overhaul

mermaids overhaul

new textures for the leaves on the ground during autumn in seasons (ik this is very specific but it bugs me so much)

collections like sims 2

riskier fires

animated elevators

disabilities

allergies

living in the same lot as a business

picture frames out of screenshots

overall wishes:

less rabbitholes

better animations for the little things (pulling a chair while sitting down, entering the elevator instead of vanishing, etc)

sims to react better to what is currently happening (standing up for wedding entrances, looking at eachother while sat, stuff like that)

new features wishes:

create a world

fairies

hobbies as a system with new features (ballet, karate classes and kites for kids, skateboarding for teens, dance classes and pottery for adults, bingo for elders, etc)

hotels and resorts where you can also run your own hotel

cars.......... fixer uppers, school buses, taxis

driving lessons, bus passes, etc

on stage: bands (with new instruments), magic shows, kids recitals, concerts and music festivals

bands to be able to host auditions, set rehearsals, go to the recording studio, sell merch, go on tour

a sports pack: separated skills with new kinds of sports: gym equipment, soccer, volleyball, golfing (with retrocompatibility with high school years and university)

parks stuff: for kids: see-saw, roundabout, bouncy castles, trampolines, merry-go-round for older sims: fun-houses, roller coasters, ridable ferris wheels, target shooting

a time travel pack: travel to the past and end up in strangetown of the sims 2 timeline or to the future and go to a dystopian world with ZOMBIES

zombies!!!! (with compatibility with life & death, with a grim phone like the one in sims 2 or something)

underwater exploration (with smntg fixed to give new features to mermaids and island living)

imaginary friends

a travel based exploration pack, like world adventures and bon voyage

more interactive museums 'cause i wanna live my animal crossing fantasies

more playable careers

burglars

an alien world based on sixam

summer camp with lots of new activities (archery, log rolling, canoeing)

supermarkets and grocery stores (or maybe even drugstores)

this thing

[telleroftime]

I can't stop thinking about Y/N getting thrown in a cage but instead of being scared they just try to get Bowser to fix himself

Y/N: See, okay, you've got a cute face, that's a good start

Bowser: Go on...

Y/N: But your attitude? Not cute. You need to be able to handle rejection

Bowser, shaking their cage: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!

Y/N, holding on for dear life: NOT CUTE!! NOT CUTE!!

~~~

Y/N: Okay so, if the princess rejects you, what will you say?

Bowser: I'll destroy the mushroom kingdom!

Y/N: No

~~~

Y/N: Look, you're cute, but you've got a lot of work to do before you're hubby material, like the anger issues

Bowser: I'D BE THE PERFECT HUSBAND!!

Y/N: This is what I'm talking about! You're screaming again >:(

Mario: Stop antagonizing him he's gonna kill you

Y/N: I think I can fix him

Mario: I really, really doubt that

I love this. Bonus point if Y/N is scared but it's that whole "inside you there are two wolves." One side is screaming for then to get out because that is a giant, fire breathing turtle dragon. The other side... the other side lacks basic self preservation.

He's a bit of a fixer-upper.

More bonus points if Bowser starts yelling and Y/N yells back and it's just both of them with a raised voice until one of them asks why they're both yelling and the other answers with a "I don't know."

Or if we're thinking exclusively about Movie!Bowser, imagine Y/N setting up a little "how to not be mean" course. They move his cage and start teaching him. Everyone, including Bowser, thinks it's torture. The toads are finding it funny and Mario sees it as questionable. All until it actually starts working. Tiny Bowser is not longer such a prick to everyone around.

I don't know if I said it before, but he'd go from mean to polite like Stitch did in Lilo and Stitch.