#YIPPEE WAHOO BODY HAIR

[ratbastarddotfuck]

BODY HAIR, LET'S ALL HEAR IT FOR BODY HAIR 🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊

[crenandos]

Last day of pride month, hair euphoria posting

[unproduciblesmackdown]

nothingunrealistic1

hey now don't forget the two women who were having sex in the second episode, one of whom was never seen again and the other of whom was a mole for axe capital inside sdny until the fourth episode and *then* was never seen again

would that i could forget....would that i could....

billions could only have a gay man, who was married, and died by the end of that season; only deal with taylor's upending of presumed cishettery by having everyone who's not terrible be automatically down without putting some crisis about it on them, as the better approach to trying to have people talk about it (true, certainly in this case); extent of its room for rian's latent nonbinariness being "never wearing skirts/dresses, always wearing makeup though"....all that is to say, even with neither of them allowed to be "truly" cishet, b/c that's the rewarded realm for superior people, billions could never do winstuk. but they could be kissing right now

[knotsoangelic]

i actually have a design for my human (not born and raised) bill woo wahoo yippee

Some notes about him; his right eye is sewn shut, he has an eye of providence tattooed on the back of his neck and his body is riddled with scars (that you can’t see bc. clothes.)

Took inspo for his hair from my own hair (below)

i couldn’t help myself man i had to get the cipher cut ✨

[darling-drag-brainrot]

Season 17 : Meet the Queens

🌟 I watched it just now and I have OPINIONS! 🌟

+ Acacia Forgot

- Seems like... bitchy... I honestly am not the biggest fan of her vibe and she doesn't seem funny to me. But the outfit was stellar! And she talks a big musical game so I'm excited for that!

+ Arriety

- Her name? Stellar. Her look? Strange and wonderful. Her voice? Pretty and cunt. I CANNOT wait to see her out of drag I bet she's stunning. She's so cute to me, sorry. Also is she Latina? Because this CANNOT be a white woman to me.

+ Crystal Envy

- Her outfit was giving tinsel town and I wasn't a major fan of it admittedly. But she seems sweet, like I want to spend time with her- like she seems really down to Earth, well-spoken, and I look forward to seeing her in design challenges and in the musical challenge. She could be Miss Congeniality to me. Also her wig IS the moment.

+ Hormona Lisa

- Banger name! Oh my god, Southern? She's so cute. Not a big fan of her outfit to be honest, but she seems genuinely fun to me. Also... ADHD queen!

+ Jewels Sparkles

- I want to make fun of the name for being so like... childishly on the nose... but her name was the only one I could immediately remember after the initial introductions so I think she won there. I don't like to compare queens but I will say... she initially makes me think of Valentina just by looking at her and somewhat her voice. She is SO pretty though- it's giving Glinda from Wicked. The lesbian fanfic writers are gonna make good use of her calling it now. Also- ALL these girls saying they give off bitch as first impressions like come on now ladies... we can't ALL be Plane Jane. But Jewels seems so cute and sweet! Also Latina diva!

+ Joella

- Not a big fan of the outfit, but I think I just hate full body jumpsuit/bodysuits in general. I love the eye makeup, it feels very vintage in a way, if that makes sense. Also, she seems rather genuine and down to Earth- she seems so personable I love it. I think this outfit is just not the best. I love how brightly colored she is.

+ Kori King

- The outfit isn't giving water too much, but I like it- I wish it had some blue in it to match the eye makeup. Oh, she's trying to give BODY like good for her- corset and boobs are swell. She's giving cunty but in the best way- like she lowkey a bitch but in a hot cute way. And then she says... "If you really think 'I'm like such a bitch' - NO! You just have fucking botox!" like girl preach you understand me exactly. Sorry guys I am already a Kori fan. Hey, lesbians on my phone can we make her big in the fanfics? Can she be plastered all over AO3? Also her voice is honey molasses smooth... lovely.

+ Lana Ja'rae

- Bottom queen! God for her! Also, I love her name! Her voice is gorgeous in a way I cannot fully describe. She looks so ethereal model angel goddess and then she talks and she just sounds so nice and like... chill. I want her to go far! Also, lesbians, make her go far! I'm a sucker for genuine queens and she seems so genuine- she is NOT faking anything for the cameras. Also- her smile!!!

+ Lexi Love

- I despise the outfit on a visual level but I cannot lie it is well made. That shit is GLUED on it looks like- fit to the body like a glove. Respect. Also... she is giving mother. Like a sweet white mom. I would happily chat with her in line at the grocery store and she seems really approachable- which I love in a queen. Very humble it seems.

+ Lucky Starzzz

- OUTFIT EATS! The entire outfit eats and serves and devours! Me when a drag girl hates minimalism: WAHOO YIPPEE YAY! I love this season of soft-spoken queens, like she has a big personality but is not forcing her entire persona. God bless! I want her happy.

+ Lydia B Kollins

- I like the outfit, I wish she had taller heels or boots though to balance the bottom half of the outfit. I like the subtle alt look of her makeup. She makes puppets? Slay.

+ Onya Nurve

- HER VOICE! CAN I HAVE HER?! HER OUTFIT! HER HAIR! HER MAKEUP! HER SMILE! I NEED HER I MEAN WHO SAID THAT!?!? She's well spoken, knows her stuff, and isn't faking anything. Lesbians. Lesbians after me. Lesbians please. Lesbians we have to hype her up. She dislikes Animal Crossing? Sometimes beautiful queens are wrong, we forgive her. I need to see her on my screen NEOW.

+ Sam Star

- I love the outfit! For some reason staring at her makes me think of Kristin Chenoweth in Wicked. I like that she seems so playful, not focusing on being all bitchy and cruel. She's giving... Southern belle. Also... horny alert. This is said in the most loving way possible.

+ Suzie Toot

- The most BEAUTIFUL goddess out there. I gagged at her outfit and makeup it's sooooo old school musical theatre. She seems somehow so quirky and strange and also... just so unbelievably human and casual. She's like a Muppet brought to life as a human. She belongs as a guest star on the Muppet show. I would love to sit and listen to her talk about her inspirations and ideas, she seems really put together. I want to be her friend.

[the-teddy-bear-butch]

ok down the line for another Cora fic :3c ? Taga

YIPPEE WAHOO, god bless I think about them so much. I haven’t touched this one in AGES so it may be super rough

(Taga is the one scientist that was always nice to Cora, sneaking her nice things. This takes place when Cora is maybe 6-8?)

The cell always got a bit chilly at night. The thin layer of peach fuzz across Cora’s body was hardly enough to keep her warm when night fell. Their smaller body didn’t seem to radiate enough heat on its own to fight the chill away. They found that tearing the sheet from their bed (a glorified cot really) and wrapping it around themselves as many times as possible provided the best protection against the cold, but it still wasn’t comfortable.

She had complained to Dr. Nova once. She had asked in a small, sheepish voice if the temperature could be adjusted to be warmer at night. The doctor had merely scowled and said something about “adapting.”

The air from the vents was even more frigid that night.

Many of Cora’s pleas and requests to Dr. Nova fell upon deaf ears—but there was a light in the dark, and it took the shape of soft chocolate brown eyes framed with crows feet and salt and pepper hair that was beginning to grow lighter with age. That light in the dark, who she later found was named Taga, provided warmth, in more ways than one.

Cora could have cried for joy the day Taga snuck her in a blanket. It was the first kindness between them—and certainly not the last.

On another day, Cora found herself hurting and exhausted from a long day of experimentation, some new serum pumping through her veins and leaving them sick and drained. Dr. Nova had insisted on their usual routine of exercises and they had almost passed out at the end.

But once again, Taga eased the ache. There was a glass of water on the table by Cora’s cot, beside which a pair of pills was set out with a note signed simply “T.”

(Bonus line I hadn’t placed yet. This is the fic where Taga gifts them their teddy bear, Arlo! So this would come sometime after)

She dreamt that night of being wrapped in the warm, soothing arms of a mother. She wore Taga’s tusked smile.

[boyswillbedogz]

updated body language guide awoo

hapy :3 (if not a bit tired)

shoulders are relaxed or held high but not tensely

neutral mouth or close-mouthed smile

eyes are kept wide or half lidded depending on level of relaxation

tongue clicking and “ssss” sound as a vocal stim

chirping/cooing/humming

quoting tma or wtnv as a vocal stim

quoting streamers i like as a vocal stim

being touchy

rubbing my whole face against people i like

bapping people i like

”chortling”

being playful

being talkative or very very quiet

quoting apollo the parrot as a vocal stim

thumbs up

fist bump

calmly focusing on one thing

pacing loose circles, more excited than restless

sitting still for extended periods of time

multitasking while speaking, eye contact is scarce

jaw relaxed

absent swaying side to side or hip wiggling

limited chewing on hands

”yaaay” “yippee” “wahoo”

spinning!

upset/anxious (can also be tired or bored)

staring, zoning out

browd furrowed, eyes squinted or lidded

mouth neutral or closed with lip slightly curled, not enough to bare teeth

excessive skin picking and chewing

pacing in tight circles, anxious

shoulders held tense or high

baring/snapping teeth, tensing, or leaning away in response to touch from people usually allowed to touch me

excessive lip licking and chewing and sucking in lower lip

”HHHHGHGHGGH”

hair pulling and scratching

excessive and maniacal laughter

“ssssss” not hissing jsut long drawn out “s” sound

making “claws” out of my hands, running my thumb along my pointer finger

excessive scratching at face, neck, and arms

voice seeming “tight” or shaky or low

no words at all

weird long drawn out “eeeeeeh” noise

whining or screaming

excessively saying “eh” to everything. being unusually pasisve

“tapdancing”

unresponsive to words or my name

”AAAAAAAAAA”

angy

lip curled so teeth are showing

snapping at air

excessive and maniacal laughter

obsessively putting physical distance between myself and others

nose scrunched

jaw tense, teeth gritted

lashing out especially when interrupted

tense

snarling or snapping in response to touch from people usually allowed to touch me

excessive pacing

excessive chewing

short answers, snappy

no words or too many words

angry sigh

overly confrontational, “itching for a fight”

“Back up”

lowered self preservation

lowered care for others

[kredensik]

it’s like this. for months im thinking. im not trans, i dont have any negative feelings about my body as is, i like my given name, i don’t mind my pronouns- and then the SECOND I THINK ABOUT HAVING FACIAL HAIR I GET SOOOOOOOO EXCITED like. YES i want a beard, YES i want. a moustache. YES I WANNA BE SCRUFFY WAHOO YIPPEE and then. i’m not trans

[creaturecarnival]

Hylics

One of several games created by Mason Lindroth, Hylics is a game made out of clay, action figures, and computer magic. The visuals of this game are absolutely bonkers, and the creature design is just about as surreal as the rest of the game. If you’re interested in playing it for yourself after watching the trailer above, it’s available for PC here. So if you’re like me and don’t have easy access to a PC, you can watch this stream of it by Vinesauce’s Vinny which is sort of gonna determine what order I review these in since there’s really no comprehensive information about this game that I could find at the time of writing this. Now let’s take a look at some of these crazy clay creations!

Spiral Polycerate

Yeah, right off the bat we’re getting something pretty emblematic of this game’s surreality. Nothing makes sense and that’s great! So the Spiral Polycerate is basically just a weird yellow spiral cone on top of a little action figure. Most of these creatures will have a similar body plan, just some clay slapped on an action figure, but said clay is usually placed or shaped in a way that it’s still interesting. Like in the case of this guy! 

Also I guess it’s implied that Spiral Polycerates are sapient on account of their being one that’s a shopkeep in Tormaph, pictured above. This also gives us a view of what look like arms that are holding that lowest bit of clay. Weird! Is that a weapon or something then? When I first saw this thing, I was certain it was just a cone with legs sticking out of the bottom, but like most of the inhabitants of Hylics, it’s just the head that’s covered in clay. I guess it’s like, visual shorthand that the creature in question is intelligent. That’s cool and all, but I definitely liked its design better when I thought it was just a funky clay cone with legs.

Cone Cultists

Yippee! Wahoo! It’s cult time babey, yeah!!! These guys look so excited! Either that or they’re in immense pain from those horrible growths on their heads. I’m assuming it’s supposed to be some kind of silly hat, but my brain really wants to read them as cordyceps fungus, which are also yellowish-orange and very tall and slim and also grow out of living things, vaguely controlling them. I think overall they look fine as is, maybe a little bland. But if they WERE in fact cordyceps fungus, well that’d be pretty neat!

Cone Statue

Oooh, now we’re talking. This one’s made entirely of clay (save for the ribbons, made of computer magic) and is just shaped so good! I love the tiny squat body and legs coupled with the asymmetrical arms, of which the longer looks to be gesturing to that pot looking thing being pierced by its big ol’ cone head as if to say “Hey! Hey check out my sweet hat! I’m like a POTHEAD or something haha! Get it?? Hey look at my hat!!!” It can’t do anything but passively “shine” which blinds your party members, but is also capable of falling asleep apparently? Okay!

Fleshtache

Wow, this thing is profoundly unpleasant! The idea of a humanoid being whose head is nothing but a couple of large fleshy growths which could loosely be interpreted as a mustache kind of sucks a lot. Do you think there’s hair on the flesh? I know those little particulate things exist around some of the other sprites, but they’re more present around Fleshtache than any other sprite, which makes me think of them as like, a cloud of little floating hairs or something like what you get when you get your hair cut short and you ruffle it and all the little tiny fine hairs go everywhere except it’s like that all the time constantly. If you can’t relate to that experience you should get your hair cut short so you can appreciate how gross that would be. Anyway, I also misinterpreted this one’s head at first to look like an elephant skull. Y’know, with those two little divets and the big tusk lookin’ things? That would be cool too.

Guard

I’m not sure there’s really much I can say about this one. I think it’s interesting that they’re sort of holding that bit of clay in their hand and it’s also attached to their head unlike the Spiral Polycerates.

As we can see in these overworld sprites, the head is weird. It’s just a big seemingly organic coily thing with what might be the true head which we can see in the top left. I like Guard a lot more knowing that their heads are just big springy coils apparently.

Mustelid

Yeah, this one’s pretty much just a cat. I do appreciate how dopey it looks though.

Edit: It has come to my attention that Mustelid actually refers to the family which ferrets belong to. I like this guy significantly more now that I know that fact, as giant ferrets are something that I’ve actually never seen before in media!

Foothead

Okay I really like Foothead. I especially appreciate the fact that the usage of “foot” here seems to refer more to a gastropod-like foot than a human foot. Although you could make a case for the head being loosely human foot shaped, the way it locomotes (by sort of sliding around and using its arms to push itself along) supports the gastropod-like theory. It’s described as “kicking” when it attacks you, but I think that’s referring to the legs flailing around uselessly in the air. It really makes you think that these creatures might be mutations of some kind.

Despair Puff

Is that what that is? Okay, if you say so! Despair Puff certainly looks to be despairing alright. Again, the most remarkable part of its design is the head, which as was previously mentioned seems to be in despair. It looks like we can maybe see the bottom half of the action figure’s head, which would be really creepy, like the top of its skull burst open and this big sad lump came out. The sprites are just low-res enough that you can’t really tell, but that’s one of the things I like about the creature designs overall.

Slughead

Okay so this is interesting, we’ve got another mollusc-head! Could they be related? Slughead seems to get around by laying “face” down and writhing around, although it’s standing straight up in battle. Its forearms also appear to be engulfed by the head. Again, this seems like maybe some kind of mutation.

Ambulant Skull

These guys aren’t actually encounterable in battle because they kill you the moment you make contact with them. That’s certainly freaky! I love how disturbing this thing is overall, with a lower half that looks like a mess of ground beef. I like that with a name like “Ambulant Skull”, you’d expect it to be just like, a skull with legs or something. But this design goes way farther than that and I appreciate it.

Malign Hologram

I love the weirdness of this thing’s “head” being something like a weird vase with an agonized face emerging out of it, and whatever filter was put on it makes it look like the whole thing is made of raw flesh and muscle. Yeah, I don’t know what else to say, I just really like this freaky hologram(???).

Horrid Projection

Alright, this’ll be the last one for part 1, and what a lovely mess it is. Literally the only recognizable thing I can pick out of its figure is maybe two little legs/feet hanging out of the bottom, and the rest is a huge, dripping, misshapen blob. I think that’s a really effective design choice, because this thing would not be nearly as unsettling if it was all clay with no humanoid features. That one little addition of the legs just raises so many questions.

So that’s it for part 1! Stay tuned for when I post the other half I guess!

[ericjuneau]

Reprise (Epilogue) [Frozen/Tangled/The Little Mermaid]

EPILOGUE

Elsa's return to Arendelle met with great celebration. Kristoff, Anna, and Olaf had organized it. They knew something good had happened when the clouds folded and crinkled from the sun's gentle burn.

Elsa met them at the dock, where the Barefoot Maiden lay in repose. Anna couldn't stop hugging her sister.

The royal guards cleared a path for the carriage to take them to the castle. Without it, the citizens would have mobbed their queen in celebration. Instead, they traveled behind the cart, singing songs of victory.

Elsa looked out the window at Arendelle. The sky was still a bleak and dismal slate, though that was typical for the time of year. The grass remained woody and the misty air smelled stagnant. There should have been crocuses and tulips blooming by now. Anyone visiting Arendelle would find a depressing place to be sure.

The podium Ansel had once used to address the citizens remained in front of the castle doors. Elsa took her place behind it, with Kristoff, Anna, and Olaf at her side. She waited for the citizens to finish gathering before she spoke.

"Citizens of Arendelle. I'm happy to announce that our nightmare appears to be over. The magic that brought forth this terrible climate has been destroyed."

The crowd roared in applause.

"Unfortunately, there is no magic to aid our recovery. It will take hard work, but we will bring back summer. This means there are hard times ahead. Our farmland is devastated. Our crops are in blight. I'm afraid we must prepare to suffer through another year of hardship."

Elsa had never felt the mood of a crowd before. When people talked about sensing energy from a massive group of people, she thought it was nonsense. But for the first time, some sixth sense recognized the dismay in the atmosphere.

"However we will have help. We have new alliances. Corona has pledged to give its support--in a non-military fashion," she added as an aside. "We will get through this. And I will be behind you all the way."

Now the crowd seemed confused. Kristoff twisted his face quizzically.

"Someone once told me that... there are some people worth melting for," she said to the throngs. "I think there are some people worth freezing for too. I give this pledge to you now: I am not going anywhere. Though I don't always show it, I love being your queen. I love this kingdom. I love the people in it, no matter what they say. Whisper and gossip in taverns if you want, I won't leave you. Not ever."

And Elsa kept her word. She was behind every citizen's back. Shoveling, carting, cobbling, smithing, farming, harvesting, ranching, even baking. She renovated the plumbing system, all pipes having been destroyed from freezing. She created oxplows from ice, taking time to craft the blade to utmost sharpness. She created a thin coating of snow all around the pastures--the meltwater would encourage sprouting.

In fall, the grass was green again, the livestock was healthy and back on their ranches. The white duck in the courtyard pond even had a fresh batch of fuzzy yellow chicks dashing after it. Elsa noticed this in the garden, during Arendelle Castle's First Annual Children's Tea Party.

When she announced the event, she told Anna "this is the hardest thing I'll ever have to do." It was one thing to be Arendelle's queen. But if she spent all her time holed up in the council chambers, she would never be Arendelle's leader.

"Mmm," Elsa said, sipping from a teacup. She was sitting on the grass, dress spread out, addressing a five-year-old with braided pigtails. The party was wrapping up, but Elsa wanted to make sure she met all the guests she could. "Are you having fun?"

"I don't like tea. It tastes like dirty water," the little girl said.

"I didn't like tea until I was older," Elsa said.

"I like the cookies though. When I play tea party at home, I have to use rocks for cookies. This is different than my tea parties. I have to do friendly smiling here. And my mom said not to run around like a maniac."

Elsa glanced at two squealing boys chasing each other by the pond. "I think if you wanted to run around, no one would mind."

"Is your army run by a giant snow monster?"

"Er... what?"

"I know you got Olaf. But do you have a giant snowman too? In your ice castle? Is he, like, the head of your guards? Do you send people you don't like up there and the snowman eats them?"

Elsa searched her mind for a wise response. "No. He stays up there. Guards it, keeps it tidy. He's not really mean. In fact," she leaned in. "His name's Marshmallow."

The little girl giggled, rolling back on her rump. "That's a funny name."

"Hey, Elsa." Anna stepped up to them, wearing the green and black velvet dress that matched the courtyard garden.

"Excuse me one minute. Princess business," Elsa said to the girl as she stood up.

"I understand," the little girl said.

The two sisters stepped to the side. "Is everything going okay? Everyone's having a good time?" Elsa asked.

"They're having a great time," Anna said, surprised she asked. "This was a great idea. No one can stop talking about it. Just look at Olaf."

She pointed to the other side of the grove. Three boys were juggling the snowman's body parts between them. Olaf yipped in delight. "Whoa... wahoo... yippee... the world is spinning..."

"I've got to say, I never expected this from you," Anna said. "And you were the one to suggest it."

"There's not much point to opening up the gates if people don't want to go inside. The castle doors could be wide open. It doesn't matter unless I keep my heart open too."

Anna smiled. "Anyway, you wanted me to tell you when it was five o'clock. And... it's five o'clock."

"Oh!" Elsa squealed. The tea party was scheduled to end half an hour ago, but she'd been having so much fun. She turned to the little girl. "I'm sorry, but I have to go."

"Aw, but we just started," she whined. "I wanted to have tea with a  queen."

Anna stepped forward. "I can take her place. I'm her sister, Princess Anna."

"Yay! A princess. That's even better!"

Anna gave Elsa a sly smile. Elsa rolled her eyes, then walked away.

"Oh, Elsa," Anna called out. "You will tell me who you're seeing one of these days, right?"

"Who said I'm seeing anyone?" Elsa shrugged. Before Anna could ask anything else, she dashed out of earshot.

"Right," Anna said. She clinked her cup with the little girl.

Elsa ran behind the trees through the grove, peeling away her garrish decorations--the tiara, the bracelets, earrings, necklace. The courtyard's back wall abutted the shoals Arendelle Castle was built on. In its center was a postern--a back way. It was usually locked, but Elsa, being the queen, had asked for and received the key. She slipped through the gate at the same time slipping out of her fancy shoes.

Salty sea-spray kissed her face from the waves striking the rocks. She took a moment to breathe it in, then let out her tight hair bun. The soothing wind played with French braid like an animal's tail.

She stepped gingerly down the rough rocks to the water's edge. A man's head broke the surface.

"Hi," Gil said. He smoothed back his slick wet hair.

"Hi," Elsa said dreamily. She sat on a flattish rock close to him, hugging her knees. "Sorry I'm late. I just got done with the tea party."

"You're not late," Gil said. "How was it?"

"Good. The kids loved it. I might do it again next month too."

Gil pulled out a box from beneath the surface. "Here. I made you a birthday present."

Elsa accepted it, saying "But it's not my birthday."

"I know. But you didn't tell me when it was, so I guessed. Looks like I guessed wrong."

Elsa laughed. "At least you were bold enough to try."

"I only had a chance of one out of three hundred and sixty-five after all."

Elsa undid the seaweed ribbon. Inside the box was a necklace made of tropical cerith and horn shells. "Oh, it's beautiful. There's nothing like this in Arendelle seas." She attached it around her neck. "I'm quite sure I'll be the only one around with this kind of necklace."

"What if they ask you where you got it?"

"I'll tell the truth," Elsa said. "A handsome man gave it to me."

Gil smirked. "Well, half a man."

Elsa smiled. Twice the man of many. "I have a gift for you too."

"It's not my birthday, either," Gil said.

"No, it's not a birthday gift. It's something I meant to give you before."

She leaned down, placed her hand on his cheek, and kissed him. Gil rose out of the water and kissed her back.

"You couldn't find a way to cut it?" the King Frederic asked, equal parts resigned and disappointed.

"No... Well," Rapunzel reconsidered. "I did, but... no. I think it's better this way. Better than the alternatives were."

Rapunzel waited for her parents or Flynn to respond. They had made their greetings and hugs down at the docks. Then again in the village, again at the castle entrance, and several times more just now in the conference room.

"Better this way?" the Queen asked. "What do you mean?"

"I think it sends a message to the people of Corona. A message of hope. That even if the past may be inescapable, there is always hope for the future."

The king and queen didn't know how to respond to that. But Flynn did. "What about all the low-lifes and thugs? People from miles around are going to want that hair. Everyone from warring kingdoms to kidnappers. How are you going to stay safe?"

"I thought you already knew. You got my message, right?" Rapunzel said. "I can't remember when I sent it. The past week's just been a blur."

"Yes, of course. We did everything you said. He's waiting in the dungeon. It was no easy task to get-"

Rapunzel stood up. "What? You put him in the dungeon?"

The King held up his hands. "He asked to be put there. He said it was the only place he felt comfortable."

"Oh." Rapunzel looked down.

"Should we send a page to go and fetch him?" Queen Arianna asked.

"No. I'll do it," Rapunzel said.

"We'll be here," the king said, cradling his arm around the queen.

Rapunzel and Flynn left the conference room and descended a spiral staircase. The castle lay on a foundation of sand-colored bricks, not gray. That, plus the east-facing windows, helped the dungeon from seeming too gloomy.

Each cell had a barred door, but all the ones Rapunzel could see were empty. Which meant he was in the last one, at the darkest part of the hall.

"Can you wait here for me?" she whispered to Flynn, grasping his hand. "He's probably scared enough as it is."

Flynn nodded.

Rapunzel walked all the way to the last cell. There he sat on the bench. The door was unlocked.

"Hello, princess," Omis Ravir said. "How are you?"

"Me? I'm fine. How are you?" Rapunzel asked.

"I'm fine." Ravir's gaze fixed on the floor. "Nervous."

"No one gave you any trouble, did they?"

"No. But I'm still not sure this is a good idea. My appearance..."

"I don't care about your appearance. And neither will anyone else. I promise. It's going to take some time to ease back into the world. I know. I had to do it myself."

"But you must understand my terms. I won't be seen."

"If you don't want to, you don't have to be. In fact, it's better if you're not. But..." Rapunzel held up a finger. "You'll still be considered a member of the royal guard. Keeping the princess protected is a tough duty. You're the only one for miles around that could do it. That's a high honor. In fact, we already prepared a welcome feast for you."

"A feast?" Ravir asked.

"Mm-hm. Roast pork and cinnamon sauce. Chicken pie with turnip and carrots. Cucumber salad and spiced squash. And chef makes these apple tarts with whipped cream that are delicious."

"I don't remember the last time I ate," Ravir said. "It's been decades."

"Oh. Then maybe we'll just start with some bread."

Rapunzel held out her hand through the door. Ravir looked at it with his yellow eyes. He reached out and put his clawed hand in her soft pink one.

The first thing that Ariel did was hug Eric. Then she hugged him again. And again. And again.

They took it slow. Five days passed before the couple left the castle. It was like a second honeymoon. And with the war over, they had the time to spend.

They shared parts of each other. Parts as ugly as groupers and beautiful as angelfish. Parts they had hidden too long. When they emerged, they emerged holding hands, gazing into each other's eyes.

When Eric returned to the kingdom, he was immediately arrested. The royal guard sent him to trial, charged with treason. He was led in handcuffs to the parliamentary court. Seven lords and three sub-judges from the surrounding villages assembled on a high platform semi-circle. Eric stood in the lonely booth for the accused. On a podium sat the book of law for him to consult, but he did not need it.

Eric's explanation of what happened took an entire day with the council's interruptions for questions and clarifications. Each evening, they sent him back to the gaols while other witnesses and lawyers made their case. But by the end of Eric's deposition, their patience grew short. They began waving off sidebars and arbitrarily sustaining objections.

When the trial was over, the councilors returned their verdict. There could be no doubt in what Eric's actions were--half the kingdom was a witness. And both Eric's account and the evidence proved that he acted with free will, without any coercion. Guilty. No doubt about it, reasonable or otherwise.

His punishment? Tell everyone that he was sorry.

The captain of the guards roiled. He demanded exile, capital punishment, or something equally severe. He disavowed the judge's authority, tried bargaining with council. But the verdict had been made--the verdict the prosecution wanted. And the sentence had already been carried out.

In their final statement, the judges declared that Eric's actions were most definitely treacherous. But once Eric explained his motivation, they were justifiable. The head judge declared that any man or woman worth his character should have done the same thing. When the royal guard heard that, he rescinded his challenge, although he still grumbled about it.

Eric's first act, once he was back in power, was to withdraw from the war. He recalled his ships and support, ignoring any messages or questions from fellow countries, be they ally or enemy. The people backed his decisions, especially when word of Arendelle's situation reached them.

When Ariel returned, the town was still jubilating the end to the war. Each day a new ship returned, bringing someone's father or brother back home.

One of the last things she told Eric before they came out was "I want to make an announcement to the people. Can you arrange that?"

Eric was surprised. She'd never wanted to do that before. "Sure. The official celebration ends next week, when we sign the formal declaration of departure. You could do it then."

"Good," Ariel nodded.

"Can you tell me what it's about?" Eric asked.

Ariel sighed. "I'm not even sure myself."

Days later, the kingdom gathered on the streets. Streamers and confetti flew from windows. Husbands in woolen outfits embraced their wives on the docks as inert warships patrolled the harbor.

Eric stood on the balcony of his castle, overlooking the kingdom. Down below, the crowd was so large it flowed beyond the gates. After he signed the document held up by the minister of war (and the crowd had finished cheering), Ariel came out.

She wore the most formal gown Eric had ever seen--a conservative black dress with tight bodice and paisley trim. After Eric finished goggling, he stepped aside to let her take his place. The crowd whispered to each other, unsure of what was to next. They'd never seen the prince's wife so prim and droll.

"Good people," she declared. "I am not much of a speech-maker. I'm not good with my words. So I'll keep this brief. I know... that I haven't been the best of rulers. I've made some decisions... or influenced others to make decisions that weakened the kingdom. Selfish decisions, careless decisions. That's because I have been living a dual life."

Eric's eyes shot open. Now he knew exactly what her speech was about. And he was frightened.

"As some of you might know, I came to this kingdom under mysterious circumstances. No country, no family background, no dowry. Well, there is reason for that. Up until a year ago, I was a mermaid."

The crowd burbled with surprise, disbelief, laughter, and dubiety.

"More than just a mermaid," Ariel continued. "I was princess of a kingdom called Atlantica, the greatest in all the ocean. I fell in love with a human and, through magic, became what I am today." She paused to let the crowd absorb this. "But that is part of my past. The past is part of who I am and what I will be. And what I will be is queen. Queen of both this land and ocean."

Ariel reached behind her and pulled out her trident. Eric hadn't even seen her carrying it. The gold partisan gleamed.

"This is the trident. It's a weapon forged by the first gods and proof of my birthright. It can only be wielded by the true ruler of the seven seas."

She held it aloft. It began to make a harmonic magical thrum.

"With it, and my coronation, I declare this kingdom part of Atlantica. And Atlantica part of this kingdom. You are all now citizens under both. I will make my decisions and actions in the best interest of both. And any I made in the past that weren't, I will take back."

Now the crowd, unsure of where all this was going, began to come around. The once angrily-toned chatter began to lighten with acceptance.

Ariel looked back at Eric, who had a smile on his face. He approved. They'd work out all the logistics later, but for now, he saw the kingdom becoming stronger. Just like they were stronger.

She turned back to the crowd. "I can't ignore my people any longer. Either of them. Because I belong to both. As do all of you. And I hope... no, I am pleased that you are all now part of my world."

#END#

[lust-filled-nonsense-tbh]

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[cratastica]

Hairy mclary

BODY HAIR, LET'S ALL HEAR IT FOR BODY HAIR 🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊