#YES i prefer merlin/lancelot

[mandoriana]

Christmas arrives in Camelot.

Lancelot: I’ve been thinking about buying a new dress for Gwen.

Gwaine: Percival and I talked and decided there wouldn’t be any gift-giving. Instead, we’ll spend the afternoon together and the night even more together, if you know what I mean. 😏

Elyan: And you, Merlin, do you have any plans for Christmas?

Merlin: Yes, Arthur and I always exchange gifts at Christmas, although things have changed since we started courting.

Elyan: What do you mean?

Merlin: Oh, it’s just a rule of mine. Every time Arthur and I make sex, I take two silver coins and put them in a glass jar that I keep in my room. At the end of the year, I take that money and use it to buy a good Christmas present for him.

Gwaine/Lancelot/Elyan: 🤣🤣🤣

Lancelot: So, what present did you buy?

Merlin: Well, so far I have enough money to buy a skunk fur, and just the tail!

Elyan: Maybe you should buy a manual on how not to scare your partner with unusual gifts! 🤣

Merlin: Hey, it’s the thought that counts! And besides, it’s his fault for preferring to train rather than spend the night with me!

[bisclavret]

what SICKO wrote the last scenes between gwaine and merlin is what i want to know. because even lancelot's last episode with merlin - which had to have been intentionally gay-coded since it's obvious the man is grappling with his feelings for merlin morphing from platonic to explicitly romantic - is still subtext because he doesn't have the tools to healthily express his feelings so he goes for the biggest romantic gesture he can think of: sacrificing his life to save a loved one. the writers also make sure to root this gesture back to gwen by adding a scene where she's inadvertently asking him to make that sacrifice first, so although it's very obvious that it's more for merlin than for gwen that lancelot dies for, she is there to add some plausible deniability, thus keeping his sexuality within the realms of subtext.

i don't want to delve too deeply into arthur's last scenes with merlin as there is both so much to unpack about what they mean to each other and there is also somehow nothing left to say that hasn't been said before. my point is just that there's so much at stake that if the viewer doesn't want to deal with the romantic subtext between them they can hang onto the 38 other dynamics merlin and arthur have represented to each other that the writers spent 5 years plastering on top of the gay subtext. basically, while the romance feels textual emotionally-speaking, it isn't "canon".

i don't mean to say that any relationship is better than another (even though i obviously have a preference) but that in gwaine's final scenes with merlin there's just no subtext anymore. his becomes the most explicit expression of romantic love towards merlin, and therefore the most explicit acknowledgment of homosexual love and the existence of queer people on the show:

it starts out with merlin suggesting that gwaine saved a girl from the saxons and then looked after her because he has a more than platonic interest in her, and they show us that merlin is right - gwaine and the girl eira slept together - even as gwaine half-heartedly denies any interest (which, why even deny it? merlin saw them holding hands! unless the lie is part of the point). then in that very same scene and directly after this exchange, merlin needs rescuing from the saxons, calls after gwaine, and gwaine performs the exact same role for him that he performed for eira: he saves him from the saxons and looks after him (for as long as merlin lets him).

the parallel between merlin and eira with such quick cause and effect (it literally all happens within the same minute) is where the shift from subtext to text becomes undeniable. yes, there have been other moments on the show where a character's affections towards two different genders are beat-for-beat the same, but, again, there has always been plausible deniability. in this case the parallel is meant to be taken at face value: the core point of it is to show us how gwaine expresses his attraction.

then, the dialogue they chose to bookend this scene with takes it a few steps further by functioning as a textual love confession to merlin himself: the scene opens with gwaine thanking merlin for everything he did for eira, and merlin saying that there is no need to thank him as it was the least he could do. a minute later, after merlin thanks gwaine for protecting him from the saxons as both merlin and the show just concluded gwaine did for eira for romantic reasons (even as he denied it by outright lying), gwaine parrots what merlin said when gwaine thanked him: no need to thank me, merlin, it's the least i could do.

but this comes off as the opposite of dismissive: in fact, this echoing of merlin's words is meant to jolt both merlin and the audience. by saying this right after saving merlin from the saxons, gwaine has now intentionally pointed merlin's attention towards the explicitly romantic parallel between himself and eira. gwaine is directly implying he just did for merlin what merlin correctly deduced he did for a woman because he desired her sexually and romantically, and he is using merlin's own words to challenge him into seeing past the initial flimsy lie that there is nothing between them. and what's behind the lie, of course, is that gwaine has done all of this and more because he desires merlin sexually and romantically. the camera even lingers on merlin, allowing him and the viewer to absorb what just happened. that for as long as we have known gwaine, his motivations have always boiled down to "i want to be there for merlin". and now both the audience and merlin finally know for sure what was motivating him the entire time.

what's more, by using merlin's own dismissive words, gwaine also implicates merlin's penchant for repression and denial and never allowing himself to be given credit where it's due. this unfortunately never properly gets dismantled on the show, but this moment shows that gwaine knows merlin well enough to know that he goes above and beyond for people, and that merlin's reasons for this ring as false to gwaine's ears as gwaine's reasons for saving damsels do to merlin. it also bittersweetly implies that gwaine has accepted that these are the platonic, repressed terms on which he can have a relationship with merlin. but i think the way in which he explicitly points all of this out to merlin is meant to imply that he isn't entirely happy about having to accept that. or, to circle back to eira, that merlin seems to be cheering for him to enter a heterosexual relationship when gwaine would clearly rather be with him.

what's additionally interesting to me about this is that this is one of the only scenes on this show that touch on same gender attraction that isn't using magic as a metaphor - because merlin doesn't have magic at the moment, yes, but also because gwaine is the more active character in this sequence, and he's an adventure hero, so he simply fights the bad guy to protect the person he loves. there is no metaphor to wrap this in, so he just gets to explicitly state his bisexuality. in the next scene, the very last one he and merlin share, it all becomes about magic again, which is both representative of merlin's sexuality and the show's "plausible deniability" approach to gay-coding, and so neither gwaine or merlin are permitted to acknowledge it. also, and this is for another post altogether, but all things point to "gwaine knew". not least because he gets to come out as queer without the complications of the magic-as-gay-metaphor which in turn emboldens him to ask merlin for the truth as directly as the metaphor-suffocated narrative will allow it.

tldr gwaine textually and canonically expresses and then confesses his feelings to merlin in a shockingly well-written and layered scene which makes gwaine the most explicitly queer character on bbc merlin and it's entirely because he exists outside the magic-as-gay-metaphor plot while loving someone who embodies that entire metaphor and it's crazy to me that we don't talk about this more. once again i ask what SICKO wrote this and where were they for the entire rest of this fucking show

tldrtldr at least gwaine is bi. its like i always say. at least gwaine is bi. at the end of the day. gwaine is bi. dont cry ok? gwaine is bi. at the end of the day. gwaine is bi. when all else fails. gwaine is bi. we'll always have. gwaine is bi

[queer-ragnelle]

So, there's a lot of books that you complain about being awful (most of which I haven't read), usually because of the interpretation of some character (or many characters).

Is the problem with most of these books:

1. That the character on question has been written as a bad person,

2. That the interpretation differs from the Vulgate Cycle,

3. or the specific combination of those two things?

Or have I completely misread this situation?

See the thing is, yes it has to do with interpretation of characters, but perhaps not as superficial as it sounds! While I do love the Vulgate and prefer a more nuanced Mordred, that’s not really the root of the issue. I want Mordred to topple Camelot. I don’t expect or want authors to follow the Vulgate exclusively, there’s plenty from Chrétien or SGATGK or Parzival or the Mabinogion I’d love to see incorporated and they often are! Yay!

The real answer is a complicated thing that can only be expressed through examples because citing “misogyny” or “racism” doesn’t convey the magnitude or severity of the problem. Medieval society was misogynistic and racist at times, I don’t think those things should go ignored in a retelling. It would cheapen the narrative to pretend Guinevere’s or Morgause’s situations weren’t brought about largely due to the patriarchal systems at play nor do I want to pretend everyone who met Palomides was race blind.

Here’s an exhaustive list of sourced examples to indicate what I’ve encountered that really turned my stomach in retellings…content warning for everything from animal abuse to rape to genocide. This is gonna be long….

Adding more/intentional incest.

Agravaine sexually attracted to his mother Morgause (The Once and Future King by T. H. White) or to his aunt Guinevere (Arthur Rex by Thomas Berger, The Road to Avalon by Joan Wolf)

Gaheris sexually attracted to his mother Morgause (The Wicked Day by Mary Stewart)

Mordred sexually attracted to and raping his mother Morgause (Morgawse by Lavinia Collins)

Uther sexually attracted to his step-daughter Morgause (Igraine by Lavinia Collins)

Kay sexually involved with his uncle Lancelot (Guinevere and Morgan by Lavinia Collins)

Mordred sexually involved with his aunt Morgause (Guinevere Evermore by Sharan Newman)

Morgause attempting to seduce her teenage son Mordred (The Wicked Day by Mary Stewart)

Arthur marrying his sister Morgan (Bedivere by Wayne Wise)

A life-long sexual relationship between Arthur and his aunt Morgan (The Road to Avalon by Joan Wolf)

Mordred and “auntie” Morgan having sex (Merlin and the Sword (1985))

Exceedingly graphic first-person rape of Guinevere by her cousin Maelgwn (Queen of the Summer Stars by Persia Woolley)

Mordred kidnaps and tries to rape his sister Avlynn (Merlin and the Book of the Beasts (2009))

Increased racism.

Using modern slurs like the N word against Palomides (The Once and Future King by T. H. White)

Aggressive and confrontational Safir “restrained” by white characters and called “homicidal Moor” by Kay (The Book of Gaheris by Kari Sperring)

Palomides speaking in broken English mentioned as a “turn-off” for Morgause (Morgawse by Lavinia Collins)

Palomides a former slave orphaned and raised culturally British instead of immigrating to Britain and constantly othered as “the Arab companion” when the others don’t have modifiers like that (Queen of the Summer Stars and Legend in Autumn by Persia Woolley)

Depicting Arab Bertilak as perpetrator of pederasty, random anti-black or anti-Asian allusions, random antisemitism, etc. (Arthur Rex by Thomas Berger)

Tristan wanting to put down “barbarian” Palomides and drives him to madness (The Enchanted Cup by Dorothy James Roberts)

Black face Palomides (The Black Knight (1954))

Adding pedophilia/child brides.

Girls including Morgaine forced into ritualistic sexual situations for “ceremonial” reasons (Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley)

Eleven year old Morgause given to Lot in marriage by her mother Igraine who lied about her age (Morgawse by Lavinia Collins)

Child bride Isolde (Legend in Autumn by Lavinia Collins, Enemy of God by Bernard Cornwell)

Merlin sexually involved with fosterling Nimuë and later attracted to young Olwen (The Winter King and Excalibur by Bernard Cornwell)

Morgause preying on minors (The Wicked Day by Mary Stewart, The Book of Gaheris by Kari Sperring)

Pedophile/serial killers Kay and Mordred (Dragon’s Child and The Bloody Cup by M. K. Hume, The Queen’s Knight by Marvin Borowsky)

Morgause sexually abusing Agravaine (Queen of the Summer Stars by Lavinia Collins)

Pederast Arthur sleeping with young Peredur and Geraint (Arthur the King by Allan Massie)

Lancelot grooms young Mordred to be his lover (Mordred, Bastard Son by Douglas Clegg)

Bademagus raping 13yo Lynette (The King’s Damosel by Vera Chapman)

Warp a character into a rapist.

Morgause/Morgan tricking Arthur to sire Mordred (The Once and Future King by T. H White, Excalibur (1981), The Hollow Hills by Mary Stewart, Bedivere by Wayne Wise, Morgan by Lavinia Collins, Guinevere by Sharan Newman, Camelot (2011))

Gawain threatening Guinevere with rape then eventually banished from court for raping someone else (Guinevere and Morgawse by Lavinia Collins)

Exceedingly graphic first-person rapes of Morgause by Lot and Mordred, Morgan by Urien (Morgawse and Morgan by Lavinia Collins)

Morgause laughing when she learns how traumatized Arthur is after her seduction of him (Queen of Summer Stars by Persia Woolley)

Agravaine threatening to rape Guinevere (The Road to Avalon by Joan Wolf)

Perceval raping Layla and getting turned on watching the rape of someone else (A Knight’s Tale by Richard Monaco)

Lancelot forcing himself onto Guinevere (First Knight (1995))

Lancelot raping Galahad’s gf (The Winter King by Bernard Cornwell)

Bors tries to rig a dice game in which the prize is sex with Nimuë (Cursed (2020))

“He would not fucking say/do that.”

Arthur, Lot, Geraint, Urien, and Lancelot are wife beaters with minimal to no consequences (Warrior of the West by M. K. Hume, I Am Mordred by Nancy Springer, Igraine and Morgan by Lavinia Collins, Knight Life by Peter David)

Lancelot doesn’t rescue Guinevere leaving her to burn at the stake by Arthur (Fall of Knight by Peter David)

Lancelot used Guinevere for political gain (Excalibur by Bernard Cornwell, The Bright Sword by Lev Grossman)

Lancelot married to Elaine then cheats on her with Guinevere and causes his wife’s death leaving Galahad an orphan (Merlin (1998))

Agravaine skins Elaine’s cat and wears it (Queen of Summer Stars by Persia Woolley)

Gareth helps Gawain torture Pellinore to death (I Am Mordred by Nancy Springer)

Genocide.

Arthur picks up where Uther left off and continues to commit genocide against magic-users, Merlin helps (BBC Merlin (2008-2012)

The red paladins commit genocide against the fay, Lancelot helps (Cursed (2020))

Gawain uses sun powers to commit genocide in the holy land, other knights like Tristan, Mordred, and Agravaine help (F/GO Camelot Wandering (2020) and F/GO Camelot Paladin Agateram (2021))

Lancelot as high king of Britain commits genocide against allies of Arthur to stay in power, other knights like Dagonet, Lot, and Calogrenant help (Kaamelott: First Installment (2021))

So yeah. It isn’t ideal that Lamorak is old in Sword of Lancelot (1963) or Dagonet is stoic and boring in King Arthur (2004). But like, whatever! I like those films! Same goes for replacing Gaheris with Geraint in Sarah Zettel’s series or cutting Gareth out of Gillian Bradshaw’s trilogy. Kind of a bummer, lame even, but not a deal breaker. The things about these bad retellings that drive me mad are much more sinister than that, rooted in really detestable opinions about women and children and people of color.

Can’t Mordred, Agravaine, and Morgan be normal scheming/evil/power hungry like they were in BBC The Legend of King Arthur (1979) or Howard Pyle’s books or Knights of the Round Table (1953) instead of whatever the above are doing? Not to mention the complete violation of Guinevere, Morgause, Lancelot, and Gawain as characters. I’m so tired, man.

Hope this clears things up. Sorry if you made it through that list. I’m sure you hated reading it as much as I hated writing it. But I think it makes it clear the problem here and that I’m not just being picky. The psychic damage is taking its toll.

[bibliophilicstranger]

A collection of various thoughts on Merlin started when I was in the beginning of Season 4 (they've languished in my drafts for quite awhile):

Yes, there are spoilers.

Things I Like:

Fashion: They're terribly historically inaccurate, but I love the costumes anyway. They're exactly what a little kid imagines medieval people wore. Morgana's in particular are beautifully done, and I like some of Gwen's as well. The flowing dramatic capes are so much fun to watch billowing every which way.

Humor: Old man Merlin in particular has me in stitches. I like the banter. It balances the seriousness and the lightheartedness well.

Geoffrey of Monmouth: I love the reference.

Sidhe: I finally know how to say this word. (Originally I didn't realize that this was the word they were saying-- I was very surprised when I discovered this word I'd seen many times before was pronounced "She" and not "Sid-he.")

Things that frustrate me:

Morgana: basically her entire character arc. It makes sense that she hates Uther and Merlin, but why suddenly hate Arthur too, when she's been close to him and capable of manipulating him? Why does she jump to trying to kill him instead of trying to get him on her side? What was up with her getting trapped with Aithusa in a pit?

Merlin: He is completely incapable of listening to prophetic advice. Or most advice period. He could end multiple threats before they become them and he doesn't.

Arthur: is completely incapable of properly securing his keys. He also is apparently blind and deaf, on top of being insensitive.

Aithusa: Kilgharrah says the white dragon is male, despite the female-looking spelling (in English, at least names that start and end with 'a' are generally female; Amelia, Alicia, Anna, Arabella, Athena, Agatha, etc.) and general deeming as female in fandom. A female dragon would make more sense-- there'd be a chance of reviving the species with Kilgharrah. Also (s)he's supposed to be a portent of good fortune-- is that just another sign of Kilgharrah's bs since none of his prophecies come true? Also where the hell is he? Why didn't he take care of/train/keep Aithusa way from Morgana and out of reach of the Sarrum?

Things I don't like:

Fashion: Their use of the color purple. Merlin and Gwen shouldn't be wearing purple when they're servants (obviously this restriction doesn't apply once Gwen is Queen). I know I said I liked it despite the historical inaccuracy but for some reason this is the bit that annoys me.

Guinevere: I know she's supposed to be nice and kind, yet badass and we're supposed to love her, but I don't. For one, I don't think she and Arthur have connection or chemistry; I think that's part of why Merthur is so popular. This relationship was so poorly done that you don't feel inclined to root for it even if you generally prefer straight pairings, and the only other regular female character is his sister, so the only other options for Arthur are characters we see only in one or two episodes. Merlin has chemistry with everyone, Arthur has chemistry only with Merlin. I think Gwen's status as a servant is a larger issue (yes, I get that her being a servant and the servant/royalty barrier gives drama and forbidden love and whatever else). It's just, Arthur is king of a kingdom surrounded by hostile kingdoms/kingdoms he has shaky alliances with. He should be marrying for normal royalty reasons! And Royalty are supposed to marry for position/alliance.

Politics: The political situation with the other kingdoms rarely mattered for more than an episode at a time.

Lancelot: his ending. Noble, yes. But a waste. His resurrection and what happens is also bs. He and Gwen were a better couple than her and Arthur.

Fancy Knights: They die. Constantly. Where do they keep getting new ones? It can't be that big of a kingdom and unless every noble woman is pumping out ten to twelve kids, there just isn't the birth rate for the number that are dying. Training knights is expensive! Equipping them is expensive! No wonder Arthur needed to recruit peasants!

Agravaine: Where the fuck was he in the first three seasons? And why is he on Morgana's side? Even if he dislikes Uther, why take it out on Arthur? If you loved your sister, why kill her child? Do you really think that's what she would have wanted? I feel like his motives weren't well built up. Certainly why Arthur trusts him wasn't.

The Ending: We never get the golden age or restoration of magic promised. There are implicit time skips, but we don't get to see it. It would have been cool if they did more of the 'lighthearted magic issue of the week' in the later seasons, where we got a better sense of the prosperity of Arthur's Camelot instead of darkness and constant attack. Honestly there were so many loose ends, no wonder everyone's so busy wondering when we're getting another season to wrap everything up in modern times.

[sundaynightlive]

A Comprehensive Guide on How Not to Tell Your Friends You're in Love [This Message was Approved by Sir Lancelot of Camelot] (Merthur)

[Read This for Better Context! But It's Not Required, or Anything]

4+1, silly knights, 3.4k, Arthur and Merlin being generally insufferable, unintentional secret realtionship trope, etc.

(TW: mention of battle, and Gwaine drinks piss? But it's comical, not like weird? I guess it's a tiny bit weird. You'll get it when you get to it.)

[1] 

“Lance just let the man sleep,” Gwaine insists, “Perhaps the festival is still heavy on him.”

“You just want to get out of training,” Elyan accuses, which Lance is sure is entirely correct. Gwaine groans, dropping his arms at his sides defeatedly.

“Fine, whatever, go bother him and don’t come crying to me when he sticks his boot in your arse.”

A few of them chuckle, but Leon shoos Lancelot away, which is enough confirmation for him that going to check on Arthur is probably best. He rids himself of his sword and his armor, as he is technically off-duty and would not prefer to go clanking around the castle this early in the morning, and heads for Arthur’s bedchambers.

This is the first mistake.

When he finds himself at Arthur’s door, he presses his ear to the wood and hears nothing. So he knocks.

And knocks again.

And knocks a third time.

Still nothing. He thinks perhaps Arthur is not even there, but then again, the man has been known to sleep like an absolute boulder, so he should check, shouldn’t he?

This is his second mistake, and by far the worst.

It is upon opening Arthur’s door and peeking his head inside that he is greeted with the sight of two very naked men, one of which is thankfully obscured from him, and the other of which, well…

Lancelot retreats so quickly he actually find himself sprinting down the hall, lest the prince had woken up and seen him, or stuck his head out his door in confusion, or even smelled that someone had been there. He only stops when he’s so far away (and particularly lost) that he no longer knows what direction to go.

Lance had heard the rumors, had been present in the room when Arthur had warned Lord Edmond of he and Merlin’s… relationship, but he and the rest of the knights had chalked it up to a tactic to get Edmond to listen, not a truth. But there, just then, he saw them lying together. Truly lying together as if they did not regularly throw horse shit at each other’s faces and fight like back-alley boxers. Lancelot has watched Arthur dump soup over Merlin’s head, and Merlin give Arthur wedgies with a wave of his hand, and Arthur spit in Merlin’s wine, and Merlin toss said wine in Arthur’s lap—

Alright, perhaps this should not come at so much of a shock. They are generally inseparable, and fiercely loyal to one another, and never far from each other, even when Merlin is technically dismissed.

But god, paramour?

Does that technically make Merlin his superior?

Lancelot starts back the way he came, seeing that as the only way out of this ridiculous maze, and on the way, he bumps into Gwen.

“There you are!” she exclaims delightfully, offering him a wide and shining smile, “I’ve come to tell you there will be no training today. You weren’t with the other knights?” 

Lancelot swallows and nods.

“I was, ah, looking for something.” 

“Understood,” she says, and continues on her way. She gets past him quite aways before he turns around, unable to push down the curiosity building up inside him.

“Gwen?” 

She stops, and turns.

“Yes?”

“Why? Was it canceled, I mean.”

She smiles.

“I believe you have Merlin to thank for that.”

[2]

It takes a lot, and by a lot, he means a lot, to shock Gwaine. It’s just not a task that’s easily done, and because of this, the knights have a bet going who can traumatize the poor guy most by the end of the week.

Now, Lancelot joined this bet heavily under the influence of alcohol, and regrets it, because he’s sure to lose. There’s nothing he could do that Percival could not beat, or Leon, for that matter. It embarrasses Lance just to speak of his own biological function, let alone trick Gwaine into drinking piss or kissing him full on the mouth—with tongue—as Elyan had done. 

How Gwaine hadn’t flinched at the piss thing, instead lamenting—

Perce, you need to drink more water, is absolutely beyond Lance’s comprehension.

What a stupid bet. What a stupid bet. And worse, Gwaine is in on the whole thing (he had to be just for safety’s sake, if they were going to constantly affront him as they were doing) and he even knows Lance is screwed, teasing him constantly about not having made a single attempt, about “owning his loss.”

He was the laughing stock of the round table.

But he had one idea. And it was terrible, absolutely wretched, invasive, and probably treason.

But he is fed up with the teasing.

His first idea was to lock Gwaine in Arthur’s very wardrobe, which would ensure Gwaine would be present to something dastardly, but then he felt guilty at just the thought of invading his friends’ privacy in such a way.

So he settled for the stables.

Unbeknownst to anyone, except Lancelot, who had been extremely unlucky in happening upon Merlin and Arthur’s more intimate moments not once, but several times, the couple tended to retreat to the stables at random (but increasingly pattern-like) times of day to talk, or snog, or whatever—these times just happened to coincide with the free-time Lancelot had to brush and water and feed his horse.

He had considered moving his schedule around to avoid this, but the days came and went, and Merlin and Arthur knew he was there, as he was clearly visible when they wandered in and closed themselves in an empty stall, so he figured he wasn’t doing much damage and they were unbothered by his presence.

They would often do little more than flirt and bicker and tease, anyway, and there must not be any real concern for keeping their relationship a secret. Actually, Lance was starting to suspect they thought the other knights already knew, even though this was not the case.

That is the nail in the coffin—by inviting Gwaine to the stables with him, he’s only invading privacy Arthur and Merlin don’t even know they have, which, therefore, is not technically privacy. 

Or maybe Lancelot is just really good at convincing himself he’s the good guy in any given situation, but that’s neither here nor there.

“I don’t understand why I’m here,” Gwaine says, gently petting the horse’s nose, “Aww, are you lonely, Lancelot?” 

Lance rolls his eyes, carefully brushing her mane, trying not to irritate her too badly at all the tangles.

“You’ll see,” he says.

“Is brushing this horse your lame attempt at winning the bet?” Gwaine muses, “Or maybe something around here…” As he begins to look around, grinning, Lancelot begins to hear footsteps and voices, vibrant voices, heading this way. He grabs Gwaine by the wrist and all but throws him to the floor, at which the knight just looks up at him, shocked.

“You are going to sit there and be quiet,” Lance snaps, speaking quickly, lest he still be talking when Arthur and Merlin arrive, “This is my only chance at winning this bet because I am not capable of pissing in your wine or shaving off your eyebrows in the middle of the night!” 

Gwain reaches up to feel his eyebrows, which are still there—Lance just wanted to freak him out.

“I have been going crazy for two weeks because I am too good of a man to go around spilling other people’s beans, even when those people don’t know there are beans to be spilled—!”

“Mate, are you alright?”

“Shut up!” Lancelot hisses, “If you say a word of this to anyone, I really will come into your bedroom at night and your eyebrows will be gone before you’ve wiped the sleep from your eyes! Do you understand?!” Gwaine nods, wide eyed.

“You know, you’re kind of sexy when you’re angry—”

“You know, we could just steal away to your bedchambers instead of coming here every day,” Merlin muses suddenly, breaking their conversation and effectively causing Gwaine’s jaw to unhinge.

“When I have things to do, Merlin, I tend to avoid being in rooms that include both you and flat surfaces,” Arthur replies cheekily, and if it were possible, Gwaine’s mouth opens even wider. Lancelot has to look away from him because he’s blushing—of course today would be a day where they were being more obnoxious than usual, though, he and Gwaine are situated behind a wall, so it’s likely neither are aware of anyone’s presence, yet.

“Arthur,” Merlin chides.

“Well when you frequently conduct yourself as a common whore—”

“Arthur! Lance is probably here somewhere!”

“I don’t see him.”

“That doesn’t mean he’s not here, idiot.”

“But if he’s not here,” Arthur teases, “The floor is a flat surface—” Lance walks out from behind the wall abruptly, glaring half-heartedly at the lovers, Merlin who is leaned back against the door to the stall they usually steal, arms crossed over his chest, and Arthur who is caging him in with one arm, looking smitten.

As revolting as it is having to hear any of this is, Lance is quite chuffed that his friends are happy and in love. It doesn’t really bother him, or he would’ve made more effort to switch up his schedule.

“If you’re going to be disgusting, do it in the stall,” Lance grumbles at them, and Arthur grins widely.

“Ah, so he speaks!” Arthur teases, in reference to the many days they have come here and Lance has paid them no mind. Lance glances at Gwaine, just because he’s curious, and finds his face buried in his hands, a hint of blush peeking through.

Oh, he’s won. He’s won.

“I don’t know that you should be calling your paramour such a thing as a common whore. Especially when your paramour is my good friend Merlin,” Lance warns, unable to keep the warm smile from his face when Merlin pokes Arthur in the ribs playfully, beaming—and though it’s supposedly at the comment, Lance knows that it’s at Arthur.

They are happy, aren’t they?

“You wouldn’t be so certain if you had seen him this morning—” 

“Arthur!”

“If I recall correctly,” Lance retaliates, “You’re the one who showed up to training this morning with a handkerchief ‘round your neck, which I suspect was hiding those nasty hickeys on your throat. Fairly certain I can deduce which of you acts as a common whore.”

“Ah, piss off,” Arthur says, grinning widely, completely unphased at the back-talk. Weeks ago, Lance would not have dared argue with the prince, but having grown to know of Arthur and Merlin’s dynamic, it’s safe to say back talk and true friendship is what the man prefers. The tough-love farce is just a face Arthur puts on—a convincing one, but a farce nonetheless.

“I think I quite like Lancelot’s points,” Merlin says, and Arthur knocks their foreheads together, bumping noses, which is when Lance elects to turn away and back to his horse (and Gwaine, who is dramatically lying on the floor in the fetal position).

“See you this afternoon, then, for bit more training?” Arthur calls towards him, presumably before they disappear into the closed stall to kiss some more. Lance looks up, grinning.

“Yes, of course, your highness.”

And with that, the entire ordeal is over, unless he’d prefer to drag Gwaine over and forcibly press his ear to the stall door, but that seems unnecessary.

“Are you alright?” he asks, as quietly as he can manage. “You win,” Gwaine says weekly, face buried in hay, “You. Win.”

—

“Lancelot won.”

“What?! How?! I pissed in your wine!”

“Percival, can you stop bringing up how you pissed in Gwaine’s wine? I’m starting to think you’re a pervert.”

“No, I’m a winner.”

“What could Lance have possibly done to move you?”

“I promised I wouldn’t tell, and if I’m honest, I do not want to.”

“Well now you have to tell us.”

“You’ll find out. Eventually.”

“That’s rather ominous.”

“Lancelot has certainly cheated. I pissed in your wine!”

“Percival! Enough!”

[3]

“Why’s Merlin here?” Leon asks, and Lance flinches, hard. He knew it would come to pass that all the knights would eventually find out Merlin outranked them in title, but he hadn’t counted on being present every time.

Yet here he is, a meeting at the round table with him, Gwaine, and Leon in attendance, Elyan and Percival are currently working patrol, to be filled in later, as this was a matter brought up without warning, and no time to free them of their duties before deciding what to do.

Lance watches, squirming awkwardly as Uther’s brow furrows, and he looks from Leon, to Arthur, and then—

“Because he outranks you, Sir Leon,”  Uther says, as if that were obvious, “And I do not trust my son—” Uther gives Arthur a pointed look, “—to not tell him of these matters, even if I instructed him so. And he will accompany you on your journey, anyway, as he always has.” 

Leon blinks, dumbly. A deep silence fills the room, and Lance knows his own discomfort is written all over his face. Merlin looks to be feeling a similar level of awkwardness, and Arthur’s got this stupid little grin, like he’s finding the situation quite funny.

“Merlin outranks a Knight of the Round Table?” Leon presses, clearly perplexed.

Lance hangs his head, and Gwaine outwardly groans. Arthur’s small smile presses into a full one.

Uther pauses a moment, and then looks to his son.

“Have you not told them?”

“We know,” Lance speaks up, to maybe soften the blow a bit. 

“You know what?” Leon asks.

“Merlin is Arthur’s paramour. Legally he outranks us because he is basically royalty-adjacent,” Gwaine explains.

“Not basically, he is royalty adjacent.” 

Leon looks between them and Arthur, who is still clearly amused, and Merlin, who looks to be in some degree of physical pain.

“But… I thought when you—at the party—”

“Leon,” Lance says, carefully, as to not rupture any brain cells, “I know this is a lot, but I believe there are several villages on fire that require a little more of our attention than Merlin and Arthur’s courtship.”

“They cannot be married!” Leon exclaims.

“You know what I mean!” Leon sinks back in his chair, visibly unable to process this information. Because Lance is so well-acquainted, it’s growing harder and harder for him to understand this sort of reaction. Sure, he was surprised as well, it’s not totally unbelievable. They spend all their time together, they’re quite affectionate if you know how to look for it—

“Now, if this foolishness is finished,” Uther says, and Lancelot jolts at the realization this entire sordid conversation happened in front of the king, “Here is what must be done.”

[4]

It’s a three-day ride to the area where the villages are being pillaged, and while they travel as long as they can, they end up making camp some time in the middle of the night, sitting comfortably around a fire and making pleasant conversation to ease the nerves of the trouble ahead.

This is good—more than good, as Lancelot quite enjoys these fireside chats—until Percival decides to ruin it, and ruin it completely.

“Which of us do you suppose is the best in bed?” Gwaine asks, a one-off question meant to strike up an affectionate argument, which catches the attention of all of them. Lancelot is laughing softly, and moving to answer—

As much as it pains me to say it, I’d have to go with you, you shameless whore.

—but he doesn’t get the chance.

“Merlin.”

Gwaine’s jaw drops next to him as his own stomach drops into the soles of his boots. Leon’s look of abject-horror is downright comical, but Lancelot is too disturbed to actually laugh at it. 

“Do you have a death wish?!” Leon hisses.

“Why do you say that, Perce?” Arthur asks, and Lancelot risks a glance this way. Where he had been amused at Leon's cluelessness, he is clearly not amused by this. His jaw is set and his gaze is piercing. Lancelot then swivels his head to Merlin, who has the back of a hand pushed up against his mouth, presumably to keep him from devolving into hysterics.

“First he pisses in my wine,” Gwaine mumbles, only loud enough for Lance to hear it, “And now he tells the crown prince he thinks his paramour is good in bed.”

Now that? That does tickle him a bit, and he finds himself covering his mouth as well.

Percival shrugs, oblivious, “He looks it.”

“He looks it?” Arthur presses, and if Percival hears the edge in Arthur’s voice, it does not slow him.

“Sure,” Percival says, “Well—it’s more as if he doesn’t look it. Those are the sneaky ones, you know—they look innocent, and then bam! You're all laid out and you don't even know what's happened."

Right, so this is the worst of each of these situations, and Lancelot literally saw them lying naked together.

“I see your point,” Elyan begins, “But I raise you—”

“Why don’t we test this theory, yeah?” Arthur interrupts, and it’s like getting punched in the gut. Gwaine even chokes on his water, doubling over and coughing while Leon hangs his head in absolute mortification, and Lance rubs an incredulous hand over his face.

Percival and Leon stare.

“What?”

“Merlin,” Arthur says, “I’d like to test Percival’s theory, if you’ll have me.”

If you’ll have me---that’s disgusting. That’s so far beyond anything Lance has already heard from them that he actually doubles over and puts his head as far between his own knees as he can get them, thoroughly humiliated by this shameless display.

Fucking Percival.

“You can’t be serious—” Elyan cuts in, but Merlin cuts him off.

“Arthur—” How has he said just a name so sensually, and why has he chosen to do so, and will Lancelot ever unhear this conversation? God, he hopes so. “—I believe you are well aware that I will have you.”

Nope—this one’s forever.

“Brilliant,” Arthur says, “I’ll return with the results in a bit. Be prepared for a very detailed account.”

And with that, they promptly leave, Lancelot, Gwaine, and Leon all appalled, and Elyan and Percival clambering for answers that the three of them must now provide.

Merlin and Arthur are gone for a ridiculous amount of time, but none of them have the balls to go and check on them.

[+1]

Lancelot never imagined he’d see Arthur cry, much less weep, but as Arthur does, gripping his paramour’s shirt with what must be a terrible relief at seeing Merlin alive, he cannot help but think Arthur is the strongest, most courageous, and kindhearted man he has ever met. He glances over to Gwaine, who meets his gaze.

Gwaine nods. 

Lance nods back.

The fight had been bloody, but the knights remain mostly unscathed with the exception of Leon who had taken quite a few hits, but was breathing, and insisting he was alright. The scariest part of the battle had been Merlin, whom had been, at one point, surrounded, and then disappeared from anyone’s sight. 

It didn’t take much searching around after the violence had quelled, but it had taken enough that Arthur had completely convinced himself of the worst.

But Merlin was fine. Mostly unharmed.

To watch Merlin pet Arthur’s hair, whisper sweet-nothings in his ear, and assure him time and time again---

I'm here. I'm here.

---while the crown-prince weeps into his chest, shaking like a leaf—it is heartbreaking. So much so that after a few moments, Lance must avert his eyes, and finds his fellow knights doing the same.

“I thought I lost you. I thought—”

“Arthur,” Merlin says firmly, “You must breathe. I promise I am right here.”

After that, the knights give them their privacy, congregating where there are the least amount of bodies, but where they might still keep a wary eye on the townsfolk. You never know about the people out here and what they think of royal customs such as paramours, or more specifically, the disregard of gender that often occurs in such an arrangement, specifically this arrangement.

Lancelot makes sure to keep his wits about him.

“I see it a great disservice to the very idea of love that they may not marry,” Leon says finally, breaking the silence.

“They cannot marry?” Percival asks, “I thought that legally—”

“Arthur must produce an heir,” Lancelot interrupts, “It’s not a matter of the church, it’s a matter of the royal line.” 

There’s a silence—not long, but shifty and a little disappointed at that harsh reality.

“We could always throw them a wedding, someday,” Gwaine pipes up, “Not that I don’t think they are totally disgusting—” Lance elbows him in the arm, effectively shutting him up.

“Quit while you’re ahead, Gwaine. A wedding is a nice idea.”

Another brief silence.

“I don’t think I’ve ever known two people so in love,” Lancelot continues, softly. And though no knight offers his verbal agreement, it is unanimous, and implicit.

[merlinficprompts]

I have a Merlin prompt I would like to submit!! Sorry for the formatting I’m writing this on my phone it’s 1 am and I’m feeling feral

Merlin magic is revealed to Gwaine when he has to heal a fatal wound. Gwaine and Lancelot are having a private conversation about it, using a code word for Merlin’s magic. An eavesdropping Arthur misinterprets the whole thing.

(conversation goes roughly like this)

“To be honest I’m kind of broken hearted. I thought I was the first one to experience uh.. Merlin’s ’talent’.”

“Sorry friend, me and Merlin’s first meeting was when he was.. sharing his ‘talent’ with me..”

“I won’t lie to you, when he first started doing it I was.. I was mortified.. but then it felt so..”

“Good?”

“Yes! Gods, I know I’ll be condemned if others find out but.. I’ve never felt anything like it. I’m not exaggerating Lancelot, I truly feel as if a whole new world has opened in front of my eyes. I want him to do it again, I want him to do and show me more. I’m greedy for it!”

“I understand you, sometimes despite the years I’ve known of his.. ‘talent’, I find myself yearning to experience it again. I could never ask him to do anything that put him in harms way though, should anyone find out..”

“I know. It’s such a shame he has to go to such lengths to hide his true nature. During it his eyes were so bright and at peace, it made me want to never let him go. It pains me knowing he suffers so much, hiding his true self in fear. I asked him if he ever planned to tell Arthur and he.. he looked so pain. He’s terrified of what Arthur would think if he found out..”

“I don’t blame him. While Arthur’s a much better man and leader than Uther, there’s still no telling how he’d react finding out about.. Merlin’s ‘talent’”

“Well I for one think there’s nothing wrong with it. Especially since I’ve experienced the benefits first hand. I’m telling you Lance, I’m a new man. I haven’t felt this at ease in a long time.”

“Oh yes, i suppose we just must be grateful that we can consider ourselves among the lucky few who get to experience his ‘talent’, and work to assure his safety in the future.”

Now utterly convinced that Merlin is a slag who prefers men, Arthur struggles with multiple emotions; ranging from embarrassment to having overheard Merlin’s private business, to despair that his best friend was too afraid to admit his preference, to outrage over the (assumed) knowledge that his knights are apparently mounting his ‘talented’ servant. He’s scandalized to think Merlin was so wanton, he should be indignant and offended that he shares such camaraderie with an unrepentant harlot. Yet, for some reason he can’t put his finger on.. he mostly just feels hurt and betrayed. He’s mortified over what that means, and finds himself in a panic over what to do now that he’s learned his best friend (who he doesn’t realize he’s in love with) is apparently a huge slut who fucks his knights (and he’s utterly incensed on Gwen’s behalf since Lance is courting her at this time)

Unsure of what to do, he finds himself at a loss and confides in Morgana about how he should act, and whether he should intervene in any way or mind his own business. Morgana, somewhat impressed, finds this hilarious, but becomes angry when she hears about Lancelot. Her judgement of Merlin sours and she finds herself stuck between telling Gwen or fighting Lancelot. From there everything just kind of snowballs. The knights try to correct the rumor but obviously since they can’t say they were talking about his magic, all other excuses seem poorly constructed and they’re unable to fix the problem.

Meanwhile around the same time, the son of a good friend/ally to Uther, who’s infamous for his carnal and shameless desires, catches wind of this rumor upon his visit to Camelot. His interest peaked, he seeks out to proposition Merlin, regardless of Merlin’s willingness.. (arthur saves him in time tho)

Merlin, on the other hand, has somehow managed to remain completely oblivious to everyone’s newfound attention on him, paranoid he’s detecting some snickers and nasty remarks thrown his away, but mostly unsure and too tired to think too hard over it. He’s too busy prioritizing protecting Arthur and finding new ways to perfect his magic that the thought of being with someone amounted to that of another meaningless chore he’d tack onto his plate. He’s come to the conclusion that he’s not destined to have a partner and settle down, the closest he supposes he’ll ever get is being by Arthur’s side as he gets his fairy tale ending, wife and kids.. Merlin is perfectly fine remaining on the side as always. He doesn’t know why his chest aches everytime he thinks about it.

Everyone’s misunderstanding everyone else, Gaius forces Merlin to listen to him explain safe sex between men and assures him that he loves him regardless of whether or not he approves of Merlin’s constant changing conquest amount. Merlin gets sexually harassed, Arthur is emotionally constipated so he rescues Merlin from bullying but also yells at him bc he’s mad Merlin’s being a hoe with everyone but him apparently. Uther hears one too many random out of context dialogues pertaining to Merlin’s sexual abilities, and Kilgarrah spends his entire interaction with Merlin cackling his scales off bc he saw what happens and he’s so excited for it to play out.

TLDR Merlin wakes up one day and suddenly everyone is convinced he’s a huuuuuge slut. Chaos ensues.

While the premise is crack-ish, I do want the story to be written fairly seriously/realistically. If anyone’s interested in turning this prompt into a full fledged fanfic, I’d love for it to be a very very lengthy one. So excited to see if this gets written!!

I love this idea!!! I probably wouldn’t write it myself, but it’s so funny, beyond the embarrassment factor. I would love to see it though! If you or anyone else writes this idea, message me so I can post about it!

[angelynmoon]

They leave early in the morning, Arthur nearly letting Merlin and the Dragons go off without him because Morgana didn't want him to go, not because of a Dream but because she didn't want her daddy to go but eventually she let him mount his horse and Arthur ignored Gwaine's snickers.

Merlin corraled his Hatchlings, Gwaine included though the Green Dragon would be flying under his own power while Lancelot carried Ellie and Effie. Leon was riding with Percival, though Arthur knew there would be a flight in the future for the boy, as it was the child was still more asleep than awake.

Merlin took off first with Lancelot following, Gwaine paused to nuzzle Percival before leaping into the air after them.

The three Dragons flew lazily, keeping close, they were not in any hurry, nor would anyone dare attack them with the Dragons hovering so near.

They found no eggs the first few days and Arthur used the time to observe the way Merlin and Lancelot interacted as Dragons.

Like when he was Human, Lancelot kept Merlin closest to the fire, wing hiding him and the Hatchlings from first glance, something that Gwaine adopted with Percival and Leon, though he slept near enough to Lancelot that he used his tail as a pillow.

It was comforting in a way, to know that a change in species didn't change anything about Merlin and Lancelot's relationship, that they were still protective of one another.

Arthur sighed as he watched the flame flicker, the light making shadows dance over Lancelot's dark scales, the Dragon's eyes fully closed but Arthur knew he'd perk up at the first hint of danger so he wasn't too worried about bandits.

He wondered what it was like, changing forms, being able to be someone else for a little while.

Eventually Arthur woke Elyan for watch change, laying his bedroll near Lancelot and going to sleep.

Lancelot's low growl woke Arthur before the sun rose, though it wasn't too far off.

Arthur frowned as he looked for the reason Lancelot gave warning and stared at the young knight who had approached Gwaine, said knight had frozen under the piercing gaze of a larger Dragon than the one he intended on disturbing.

"What are you doing?" Arthur asked, he thought he'd made it clear that all knights were to let the Dragons approach them before anything.

"I was just going to wake Gwaine for watch, it's his turn." The young knight said, trembling.

Arthur sat up, the boy wasn't wrong, per se, Gwaine prefered last watch when on patrol, if only so he could have the first helping of breakfast that Merlin would usually be fixing about now.

"Waking a Dragon from their sleep is not a wise course of action." Arthur told him, "And you never approach a Hatchling before their parent unless you have been made a part of their Weyr."

"But, Gwaine is an adult." The boy said.

Lancelot let out an amused snort at the same time Arthur did and a chuckle sounded from beneath a green wing.

"Yes, Gwaine is an adult, when he's human." Arthur agreed, though at times it felt like a lie, "As a Dragon Merlin said he's like a teenager. It's why Lancelot growled at you, you came towards one of his Hatchlings and he's protective."

The young knight stared, "Okay, is that going to change when Gwaine is human again?"

"Not sure." Arthur admitted as he got up to guide the boy away from the Dragons.

It was easy to forget how protective Lancelot could be, especially since he'd allowed Arthur to sleep near enough to benefit from his warmth, even Elyan was nearer the Dragons than the fire. But perhaps it was because they were part if their Weyr.

Arthur sent the young knight to fetch more wood, stoking the fire to get it high enough to cook on, suddenly glad the Dragons didn't need to eat every day.

--

A/n: have a transitional chapter while I think about where I'm going with this, if you have thoughts let me know. But I would prefer to try and limit any angst to things resolved by the end of a chapter or two. We're going to try and keep this fluffy.

But part of me wants to bring Kilgharrah around just so Lancelot can fight him for all the stress he put Merlin through with the whole Destiny crap, which would be funny because Lancelot is smaller than Kilgharrah, not by much but he still wins that fight.

For reference, Merlin is about half Kilgharrah's size, Lancelot is a little bigger than Merlin and Gwaine is the smallest 'adult' Dragon. Ellie and Effie are now about the size of a medium sized dog in Dragon form, their human bodies age the same as humans do, if they transformed older they'd grow from the human equivelent age.

[artical3237]

morgwen. just morgwen. its right there!! anyways the original tweet has a good point, its just using bbc merlin as an example is stupid. no arthur, gwen, and merlin were NOT in a cliche love triangle, thats just plain wrong. gwen's love interest, while shifting a bit in the earlier seasons, stayed firmly as arthur even with the shade lancelot thing in season 4 because she was enchanted.

but yes, i do think that fandom racism is an issue we need to address but i do think gwen's situation is more on misogyny from the writers for never giving her a proper character and motivation outside of being support for the male characters. that, in turn, made the fandom not as interested in her. racism might be seen in the fandom's preferences in morgana more than gwen but that is also chalked up to morgana's character being more interesting as she became the main villain. just in general, it is very much an issue on misogyny as guinevere in traditional arthurian literature, just. does not have much character outside of arthur and lancelot's love interest. in the context of what the post was trying to say, it would be more an attack on arthur/lancelot which while a ship, is not very popular, and nowhere near as popular as gwen/lancelot. so yeah, one of the 2 guys who were interested in the black girl did get with her. arthur in canon (i can and will defend arwen despite the weak writing, they had so much potential in early s2) and gwen/lancelot is a popular ship. bbc merlin is NOT a prime example for this issue.

You started with a good premise but now I think you’re actually insane. Merlin and Arthur had tension from day one. I was a child and I knew they were gay for one another. Gwen didn’t have chemistry with anyone - least of all Merlin. Merlin wasn’t interested in Gwen at all. Season 1 read as when the girl falls for the gay boy cuz he’s so nice and sweet. The actors shipped Merthur. The writers shipped Merthur and they wanted the fandom to ship Merthur. The only reason they probably didn’t explicitly put it in the show was because of the time we were in. The writers and fandom have always been gay af. Because right next to Merthur is Morgwen and after that, Gwen/Lancelot. This is not at all an example of what you’re talking about. Also, TikTok? Did you just start watching the show? Watch it again please. And then watch it another time. Like we were reading/writing Merthur fanfic in 2008. I was on mf livejournal reading A/B/O dynamics Merthur fanfics. Hello??!!! Like maybe it’s because I’ve been in this fandom for over a decade - Merthur was my first fandom - but I’m literally so affronted and flabbergasted. How do you even-

[sunlitsorrows]

we’re going to take a stab at being nicer to Lancelot in this setting because

well because we can! (and i like being nice to my characters when i can it makes the drama so much more dramatic when it’s time.)

and in a setting where Mordred has spent most of the last decade on the road, he has to have learned chivalry from someone other than Gwenevier, since she’s home raising Loholt. It makes sense the person she loves shares her values, so it makes sense Lancelot is more the father figure to Mordred than Arthur, who is preoccupied with the more political/business aspects of Camelot

also courtesy of a three am pun that popped into my head i have figured out the Lancelot/Gweneviere/Arthur conundrum!

Marriage and Heirrage!

(Because love and love triangles completely baffle me and I hate stories about people cheating (it’s so trite and cheap and done to death and I’m not going to write something that makes me hate my blorbos) but I do need a reason for Arthur to turn on Gwen, so I’m making it about money, murder mystery style.)

Because of whatever it is that’s interfering with the birth rates, there’s a huge cultural pressure that if you can have children, you must be having as many children as you can—preferably with as many different partners as possible to preserve/create as much genetic diversity as possible. (scientific accuracy less important to the story than social plausibility—people believe lots of things that are not scientifically accurate.)

But with inheritance laws being what they are the wealthy prefer to have a limited number of children to control the distribution of their assets, and will often contract with only one or two partners to provide heirs.

A marriage is a love match, an heirrage is a business contract.

Most women who can conceive make a living adopting out (yes that does mean selling) their babies to families who can’t have their own, but those who can have children but don’t want to have multiple children and/or multiple partners (for any reason, there are as many different reasons as there are people who have them) will often seek out heirrages.

Which is a long convoluted way of saying Lancelot and Gweneviere are married, but Gwenevier and Arthur are heirried.

Arthur doesn’t care who she’s sleeping with as long as she’s only having his children, and he and Lancelot are good friends.

Gwenevier, having religious leanings, gets to be as monogamous as society allows, and once her childbearing years are over she and Lancelot will have a tidy sum to buy their own ranch (or whatever they decide to do)

Poor Lancelot rather gets the short end of the stick, raising someone else’s children and not really being socially allowed to be monogamous with Gwen in return, but in the culture and social climate they were all born into he has no reason to be terribly bothered by it. Gwen has his heart, and she knows it.

The trouble starts when Merlin convinces Arthur that Loholt is Lancelot’s son, and Gwen and Lancelot have essentially conned him out of half the estate.

[in-her-shadow-if]

In Her Shadow - An Arthurian Interactive Fiction (inspired by but very loosely based)

Tag List for Asks

Content Warning: This game will be rated 18+ for violence, mature language, death, optional sexual content, and possibly other things I haven't added yet. So, adults only.

You are the sibling of Guinevere. Yes, that one - the one married to King Arthur of Camelot. But you are not loved like your sister. While she has only ever been kind toward you (under false pretenses), the rest of your family and those at your family’s court have not. 

For you have only ever lived in her shadow… 

When your father disowns you and throws you out, your sister invites you to Camelot. But you soon realize that Camelot is not the sanctuary you believed, as war is brewing with the Saxons. 

What role will you play? A warrior, diplomat, or spy? Or, perhaps, you only want to survive. 

While in Camelot, you’ll have the opportunity to build relationships with various characters and decide how the war plays out.

Demo: TBD - probably not for a while! or it will be quite short at first. This is just a little side project and I don't want it to affect my other project.

Features:

Play as male, female, or non-binary;

Choose appearance, pronouns, and your personal creed;

Choose the reason your father disowns you;

Build relationships with various characters (platonic, romantic, familial). Or break relationships.

Decide whether you want to be a warrior, diplomat, or spy. Whether you care about your duties or only appear to care will be up to you.

The following characters can be romanced, befriended, or ???

Arthur Pendragon - The King

27 years old | he/him | male 

Arthur is your sister’s husband and the King of Camelot. He’s intelligent and protective of those he cares for. But he’s wary of most and getting close to him is not easy. He has to make some tough decisions. Will you encourage brutality to protect Camelot or insist there’s another way?

Lancelot du Lac - The Revered Knight

29 years old | he/him | male

Lancelot is a revered Knight of the Round Table and a dear friend to Arthur. He is fiercely loyal to Arthur and Camelot. This one has a temper and is ready and willing to drive his sword into those who would stand in Arthur’s way.

Merlin Emrys - The Court Enchanter

30 years old | xe/xem | non-binary

Merlin is the court enchanter. Sometimes a mentor to Morgana, other times their rival. Depends on the day. Xe prefers studying the arcane as opposed to dinner parties and dances.

Kay Ectorius - The Saxon Knight

24 years old | she/her | female

Kay is a friend to Arthur and a Knight of the round table. Although born a Saxon, she has long severed ties to her old life and considers Camelot and its court her home. She looks up to Lancelot and hopes to prove her abilities and dedication in a similar fashion.

Morgana le Fay - The Enchantress

23 years old | she/they | female

Morgana is Arthur’s half-sister and also the lover of Queen Guinevere, your sister. They are a powerful enchantress focused on keeping Camelot and those they care for safe.

Guinevere - The Queen 

26 years old | she/her | female

Guinevere is your sister and is married to Arthur. Although she views Arthur as a friend, and he views her the same way, their marriage is nothing more than that. She is only attracted to women and her lover is Morgana. Unless you decide to change that…

Bran Leodegrance - Your Father and King of Cameliard

Bran is your father, but he’s always kept you at an arm's length. Growing up, you watched as he showered your sister in affection and care, while you were pushed to the side. Perhaps it’s because your mother died giving birth to you. You’re not sure because he’s only ever spoken to you or acknowledged you when absolutely necessary.

[merlin-emrys-wyllt]

Merlin studies the man for a moment before sighing and grumbling a response, "Fine. I know you're not gonna take no for an answer." There's still a smile on his face, though, and he rolls his eyes at the man. He gratefully takes the waterskin from the man and takes a hearty drink of it. He hadn't noticed due to everything that had happened, but he was really thirsty again. "Thanks." He took another big gulp of the water feeling refreshed again.

Gwaine grinned at him and nodded. "If he hadn't, I would have killed him." He chuckles. "Yes, he accepted it." He reaches over to stir the vegetables again and then returns to the man's side. "It shouldn't matter what position someone takes. It's a stupid rule. It also shouldn't matter who someone wants to dance with. I don't always lead when I'm dancing, and I've danced with men and women in the past." Something that shouldn't come as a shock given how openly he flirted with anyone he was attracted to. In recent months, however, he'd stopped flirting with random strangers like he used to, much preferring to spend time with Lancelot.

Merlin fisted the ground underneath his hands and tried his best to focus on Lancelot's words. It was hard, with the roaring of his magic that he felt in his ears and veins, begging to be released. He followed Lancelot's instructions and began to take deep breaths in and out. The knight was too close to him. If he lost control, he wouldn't be able to protect him. He went to warn him to get away but felt something shift instead as his other self took over again. Merlin sat back on his heels and placed a hand on his forehead, trying to get his bearings again. The magic within him had calmed immediately as he took over again, reacting to his feelings instead of the others. "Idiot..." He should have listened to him at the start. He can easily control the magic within him. "I'm okay... Sorry."

Leon nodded and removed the hand from his friends shoulder, turning to look at the fire as well. "Yeah. It'll be good to have Gauis check him over as well. We'll look out for him." Gwaine nods, "yeah. He doesn't have to go through this alone."

@thesparedata

[derekscorner]

Fated Rantings: Saiba

I finished the original Fate Stay Night anime

Now I’m sure the first thing an older Fate fan will ask is “why would you watch that one?” because nearly every recommendation I did see was ‘Unlimited Blade Works’ or Fate Zero.

And, to be honest, I was curious. I’m old by weeb standards and I prefer that older early 00s anime style. Most importantly, I fell down the Fate rabbit hole to begin with due to Saber herself.

My earliest loves as a child was older medieval fantasies you see. Robin Hood, King Arthur, stuff like that. (I love Gargoyles to this day due to it’s Celtic roots)

I had always heard of Fate but never dabbled. Some avoid it for the convolution but I grew up on Kingdom Hearts so that’s not exactly a hurdle I fear. lol

Rather I tried the mobile game out of boredom and true to my nature I sought lore because I love mythology. Even if you hate Grand Order everyone can enjoy how Fate retools mythology of any kind into a modern story.

So one playlist later and I found myself knee deep and now here we are. That said, while I chose to watch the original Fate Stay Night it was not the first Fate I’ve seen.

While waiting to track down the dvds I watched Apocrypha online first. Which also proved to be better than anticipated~

Arthurian Legends own me

Now as stated, I found myself drawn to Saber the most. Not just the one you see in the original anime or UBW but as a whole. I had spoiled myself on Saber’s backstory and lore long before I watched that 26 episode anime.

I found myself rather engrossed in this retelling of King Arthur because it was done better than simply gender swapping the legendary figure. Saber was raised as a man and a knight and sees people treating her as a woman as an insult.

And this makes sense given the era King Arthur was believed to have lived in. Women simply could not hold a title like king. Yes, that is very silly, especially since she was chosen by a holy sword, but that’s the point you see.

But the events that made her this way aren’t just tied to that. It’s not as simple as gender identities despite what some will claim. In fact, Artoria is very similar to her “son” Mordred who was also warped by circumstance.

To my delight Fate does not shy away from Arthur’s more noteworthy legends but bends them to Sabers life.

There are subtle changes but key events still happened.

Although they’re full blood sisters in Fate, Morgan Le Fay is still Artoria’s sister.

Although Merlin was wise his detachment to humanity caused him to guide Artoria poorly.

The whole mess with Guenevere and Lancelot.

Although Artoria was the ideal king men wanted she wasn’t one they could understand. (and vice versa)

Caliburn, Excalibur, and the holy lance left her ageless. (literally)

Hell, even Mordred is still her “son”. Artoria allowed Merlin to work his magic to temporarily make her (I presume) a hermaphrodite to produce an heir only for Morgan to use this chance to sneak into the castle and essential slip a magic roofie and take advantage of her sister.

The dark aspects of King Arthur’s legend are still there and it has made Saber who she is. She’s desperate for the grail to redo the sword selection because she genuinely wants someone better fit to do it.

Little does she know the sword and her life was plotted by Merlin and her father decades prior. Artoria, much like Mordred, was set up for failure but not by her own design.

This stubbornness, alongside Shirous own stubborn nature, frustrates some watchers. I however found it fitting for them both. While Shirou lacks the power for her to fight efficiently his personality is the perfect match for her as she is in that moment.

And, like my Mordred post, I’m gonna tackle something some probably think I have no right too but bear with me.

While I understand Artoria’s wishes to not be viewed as a woman I do not think she hates being one or has any ideals you’d usually see tumblr (well now twitter) throw on that bonfire. Rather, to consider her as such is to diminish her pride as a king. Even if she believes herself unfit and a failure she still was a king.

On the flip-side, Shirou is naive due to his age. He’s never been in love before and like Gilgamesh (albeit far less depraved) he can’t really accept that Saber is something he longs for but can’t have. Despite her shared feelings in this route she can’t stay in that era.

But I did not get mad at Shirou for stubbornly getting in the way. He done it the wrong way but behind his teenage infatuation is a desire for Saber to be treated like a genuine person.

She violently rejects this because she believes she’s unworthy of that kindness. It’s a very nuanced thing where no one has bad intentions but still causing negative disputes.

This core issue is what hooked me so badly that I bought and watched the original anime. This is the only anime adaption that follows the “fate route” otherwise known as “sabers route”.

That’s also why this ramble is so Saber focused. This is her story and it was a story I loved to see. A small part of you wants to see them work out but more importantly a big part of you wants Saber to love herself.

To be given the chance to want and be human. Something her upbringing as “Arthur Pendragon” denied her. This lack of freedom in her life is noticed and pointed out exceedingly quickly by Iskander in the Fate Zero scenes I’ve watched.

In Fairness

Now I will grant you that I could enjoy this story far more because I had the context. I was fully aware of what drove Saber and I was aware of why she was summoned by Shirou and how.

I knew about Avalon, her torn feelings, and how Shirous hero complex mirrored her. I would imagine the average anime fan, especially back in the early 2000s, would be fully fucking lost.

For them Fate Stay Night was a generic anime with borrowed names in mythology. I’m also aware some prefer the modern ‘Unlimited Blade Works’, Fate Zero, and ‘Heaven’s Feel’ because they enjoy the other girls more.

Each route focuses on a girl in the barest sense. There’ll always be “animisms” like damsel in distress as well that some just do not like. That is fine. I wouldn’t recommend you view this without context either.

That said, I still enjoyed it far more than I expected. I wish this route explained Heroic Spirit Emiya or had the added epilogue where Shirou finds Saber in Avalon but it’s fine like this.

There was things to enjoy I felt. Rin seems not as “tsundere” as she is in other media I’m shown and I like that she nor Shirou really have a drive for the grail. Their dynamic seems to work in any route whether they’re lovers or allies.

I also like Shirous powers. Due to the Scabbard Avalon he’s become a highly spec’d magic sword. His father didn’t train him properly and he sucks at everything else but by hell do I wish I could just conjure swords. Seeing him use it to greater levels in other stories is always a good time.

I even laughed because the comments I had read before were right. Kotomine literally slings mud as Shirou in this route. The man can use magic karate to topple trees and here he just slings angst sludge at the boy. lmao

Another small thing to note was Gilgamesh’s use of the Babylon Gate. In other media he seems to just sling his entire treasury at people but in this show he actually used the tools a bit. A few swords, a dagger, chains, it wasn’t much but I liked that. (though I suspect animation budget was the cause)

Resolution

At the end of the day I found Fate Stay Night an enjoyable time. I even put off watching the last six because I did not want the ride to end. It leaves some mysteries open but that’s the fault of the original source which was a visual novel.

You simply can’t cram an entire, multi-route, novel into an anime. Thus why I say I enjoyed it more than most due to me having prior context.

To be honest I hope they redo this route one day. Give it the full ‘Unlimited Blade Works’ or even ‘Heaven’s Feel’ treatment. If they do I hope they added the epilogue of Shirou finding Saber in Avalon. (Let them be happy damn you!)

Now to plot what my next venture into Fate will be. Bye~

=======================

For my other experiences with Fate go here: https://derekscorner.tumblr.com/tagged/fated-rantings

[weakforarwen]

Sometimes I think the actors are the saving grace of the show, especially the main four. Somehow, in the face of repetitive plots & sometimes wooden dialogue, they managed to give it their all which made people tune in every week. I know that heaps of love was poured on Colin & Bradley for literally carrying the show, but the real credit has to go to Angel Coulby for enduring the racism and misogyny in the toxic fandom with the grace of an actual queen.

I think Katie was very charismatic, and that was her saving grace in the first three seasons. In the beginning, whenever she had to show distress or anger, she wasn't great at it, to say the least. In the season 3 finale, for example, when she found Morgause's unconscious body, her pain and fear were very unconvincing. She improved quite a lot in the last two seasons though. In seasons 4 and 5, her disdain, anger, and coldness were played with this wonderful vulnerability that gave Morgana a lot more depth than the lines she was given.

As for Bradley, he was great in action scenes and very charismatic. He was just one of those people everyone likes, a natural leader. He was always great with Colin, and, imo, paid special attention to his scenes with Merlin. I think it was obvious he was closer to, and/or liked, Colin/Merlin better than Angel/Gwen. He probably preferred the manly bromance over the romantic scenes. In the beginning, particularly in season 2, Bradley was great in all his scenes with Gwen, and he gave great heart eyes. However, over time, he began acting colder. When he was supposed to look affectionate, he looked indifferent. In seasons 4 and 5, especially, he was inconsistent in his scenes with Gwen. He was great at showing anger, pain, vulnerability, and did wonderful work in episodes like The Changeling, Lancelot Du Lac, The Sword in the Stone, but he wasn't nearly as good at showing affection, softness, love. Compared to Angel, he sometimes looked so wooden: for example, in The Coming of Arthur or in his proposal in The Sword in the Stone. I also thought he wasn't emotional enough in With All My Heart, but his acting was subtle and perhaps that was a choice. However, when Gwen came back to herself his relief was just not there imo. Anyway, Bradley was particularly good in scenes with his father as well.

Colin was always good, in any scene, but, in the beginning, Merlin's goofiness was kind of off-putting to me. I grew to like him quite a lot in season 5, though. I think, acting wise, he was excellent, at his best, in that season. His acting in The Disir, for example, when he told Arthur to not take up the Triple Goddess's offer, or when he was poisoned and betrayed by Daegal in The Hollow Queen (RIP Daegal, I loved you baby), was excellent.

And our angel Angel, she was awesome too. She had really diverse facial expressions. She was always surprising me with the different faces she pulled. She was so expressive. She used her gaze so well and gave it her all in every scene. She shined the most in her scenes with Bradley, not necessarily because they had the best chemistry - she had great chemistry with everyone - but because she had many cool scenes with him that let her show off her range. For example, The Moment of Truth, The Once and Future Queen, The Witchfinder, for badass Gwen who put Arthur in her place; Goblin's Gold and a Servant of Two Masters for funny Gwen; The Changeling, Lancelot Du Lac, The Sword in the Stone for angsty Arwen; Sweet Dreams, His Father's Son, The Coming of Arthur, With All My Heart for emotional, yet less angsty Arwen... She was brilliant in Lancelot Du Lac, The Sword in the Stone and With All My Heart in particular. But she was great as evil Gwen too...

And yes, it must've been hard for Angel to have her screentime cut, her role reduced, deal with Merthur shippers, probably put up with a lot of behind the scenes bullshit - especially as a woman of color in the entertainment industry, or in any industry - and probably be paid less than Katie and disproportionately less than her male costars. I don't know exactly what she went through, or what Angel's like irl, but I can imagine she had to put up with a lot.

I think the entire cast was wonderful Acting can get boring, for sure, but they gave it their all until the end.

Thanks for the ask!

[bitsandbobsofwriting]

Merlin’s previously hidden horrific past comes to light;

The gang learn that everything they know about Merlin is a well-constructed façade when the truth about his “Military” history comes out.

TW: Child soldiers, abuse + torture, lots of blood and death and nightmares, potential PTSD?

When King Arthur had received the official looking letter requesting an audience about troubles with the border, he’d thought nothing much of it; the tone of the letter didn’t lead him to think there would be any serious conflict.

He replied to the Essetirian Lord, figuring it would end up being a simple issue of river boundaries or overstepping patrols, they could discuss it and fix the problem amicably, and then part ways without issue.

Arthur wasn’t a fan of the way Essetir worked; they were far too authoritarian for his liking, and they were known for their use of slave labour, terror tactics, and child soldiers, but peace had been harboured between the Kingdoms, so he could hardly complain.

The fact that Arthur didn’t see it as a big deal, means he didn’t mention it to Merlin until the day of the Lord’s arrival, and even then, he didn’t mention the Lord’s name, or where in Essetir he came from.

Merlin may have seemed a little tense at the mention of Essetirian Lords, but Arthur shrugged it off, figuring high taxes and village raids probably left him with a mistrust of authority from his home kingdom.

~

Arthur was sat in his throne, crown atop his head, when the Lord arrived. His roundtable knights and a few select members of his council sat in their own chairs at the side of the room, and Merlin stood dutifully beside him.

He preferred to have a small audience when first greeting foreign authority, hence only having nine people, including himself, in the room. 

Arthur trusted Leon, Lancelot, Percival, Elyan, Gwaine, Guinevere, Gaius, and Merlin, to subtly analyse and scrutinize the visitor for anything troubling, and report back to him truthfully later. Arthur trusted his wider council, of course he did, but experience with these particular people told him they were better equipped to handle any sort of conflict or worries.

Which means when Merlin quietly took in a sharp breath, tensed up, and stepped back to be behind him when The Lord walked in, he immediately noticed.

He makes no motion to question him though, assuming that perhaps this particular Lord had passed through Ealdor at some point, and made a mental note to question Merlin later.

The Lord bows deeply, and raises to meet Arthur’s gaze with a wide, friendly smile:

“I am Lord Severin of Essetir, I appreciate your quick response to my letter, and am grateful for the invitation to your beautiful kingdom, My Lord.”

At first, Arthur had been curious, and mildly concerned, but Gaius’s sharp intake of breath and stiffening back at the mention of the Lord’s name, tip him right over the line into being officially worried.

Did this particular Lord have some sort of reputation Arthur was unaware of? He, again, makes no moves to suggest that he had noticed Gaius’s reaction, and instead returns the Lord’s smile:

“Of course, you’re more than welcome. Guest chambers have been set up for you, if you would like to stay for a few days? I can imagine it was a long journey.”

The Lord nods, and keeping his smile, says:

“Thank you, I had planned on booking a room for a few nights, but if you’ll have me?”

Arthur nods in return, quickly speaking before the Lord can thank him again:

“Of course. Is the border discussion a lengthy issue, or something we can resolve quickly now? I have my most trusted advisors with us, should there be a political issue?”

Lord Severin shakes his head roughly, giving Arthur a sympathetic shrug:

“In all honestly, My Lord, as far as I’m concerned there isn’t an issue, but a few of my men were worried, and the only way I could see to resolve it was an official meeting to reassure them.-”

Arthur smiles, gesturing for him to continue:

“-Over the past several years, multiple Camelot Knights have been seen crossing the boundary, and spending a few days at a time in a small border-village on the Essetir side. I am under no impression that anything underhanded is happening, but a few of my inferiors were getting twitchy about it.”

Arthur once again hears Merlin take in a shaky breath, and furrows his eyebrow in curiosity:

“Which village?”

“It’s name is Ealdor, My Lord.”

Arthur smiles widely in understanding and nods his head, relaxing:

“Ah yes. A highly ranked member of the castle staff has family there, and depending on how dangerous the journey is predicted to be, I’ll often send him with a knight escort when he visits home.”

Lord Severin nods his head, before tilting it curiously and saying:

“Might I ask which member of staff? I spent some time in Ealdor a few years back, colour me... curious.”

The smile on his face is a little sharper now, but Arthur hardly sees the harm in telling him; he’ll only be here for a few days at most anyway. 

Arthur gestures a hand behind him:

“Merlin.”

He looks back and frowns, questioning his decision, when he sees Merlin staring blankly at the floor. He’s statue still, but Arthur can see the way his jaw tenses, and the paleness of his skin.

He turns back to see the Lord staring up at Merlin with an inquisitive expression. Just as Arthur resigns himself to say something, a look of wolfish realisation crosses the Lord’s face, and he speaks softly, as if to himself:

“Merlin from Ealdor, eh?-”

His grin turns even more wicked, and his volume rises:

“-I was under the impression that you had died, my dear boy.”

Arthur furrows his brows in confusion, and Merlin, without raising his gaze, quietly replies:

“No, My Lord.”

Severin chuckles, a hint of cruelty in the noise, but before he can say anything Arthur asks:

“You know each other?”

The Lord looks to him, as if only just remembering he was in the presence of a King, and smirks:

“Know each other? Why, Merlin was once one of my best. You’re astoundingly lucky to have a bodyguard with such incredible skill, My Lord. I was sad to lose him.”

Arthur glances at Merlin, who seems somehow even paler, before looking back to Severin in confusion, tilting his head:

“Merlin isn’t my bodyguard, he can barely carry a sword. He’s my personal manservant. Perhaps you have the wrong man?”

Severin shakes his head resolutely, before staring at Merlin:

“No, that’s him, I would recognise him anywhere. Like I said, I was sad to see him go.”

At Arthur’s continued confusion, Lord Severin gives him a patronising smile, quietly saying:

“Perhaps a demonstration is in order-”

He turns back to Merlin, speaking loudly this time, as Arthur and the others look on in bewilderment. Gaius however, looks increasingly worried, rather than confused.

“-Step forward, Merlin.”

Merlin, without hesitation, walks stiffly forward, standing to attention just in front of Arthur, hands straight by his side, and his gaze unwaveringly forward, focussed on the wall behind Severin. 

Arthur stands from his throne, moving to stand by the council chairs so he could see Merlin’s face. What he spies however, is a tense blankness that he’s only even seen in the brief moments when Merlin thinks no one is looking at him.

The Lord rolls his eyes condescendingly at Merlin:

“You know I hate it when you stand so stiffly Merlin, it’s bad form. Stand at ease.”

Again, without hesitation, Merlin kicks ones of his legs out slightly, and moves his hands to be tightly clutched behind his back, shaking almost imperceptibly. Still, he does not change his expression as the gang look on worriedly.

“Are you armed, Merlin?”

Merlin gives one firm nod, before saying in a monotonous voice:

“Always, My Lord.”

Severin gestures vaguely with his hand, muttering:

“Show me.”

With that, Merlin taps his right wrist to his hip before flicking his arm out to the side, and with the movement, a dagger slides from a hidden holster under his sleeve, and falls gracefully into Merlin’s hand.

Everyone in the gang, bar Gaius, was taken aback, They’d known Merlin for years, ten in the cases of Arthur, Leon, and Gwen. How had they never known that Merlin was always carrying a weapon?

The Lord looks only mildly impressed as he holds a hand out, crooking his fingers towards himself slightly. Merlin throws the knife gently, his aim perfect as the handle lands in the centre of Severin’s palm.

He passes the blade from hand to hand, humming thoughtfully, before saying:

“It’s not very well weighted, incredibly poor quality, but-”

With that, he looks back up at Merlin, the wolfish grin having returned to his face, but the gang only have a second to be confused before the Lord pulls his hand back, and hurls the knife directly at Merlin’s head.

The velocity at which the blade moves through the air... well, a slower man would have died. But Merlin is apparently not a slow man.

With his focus still on the wall somewhere behind the Lord, he whips his hand up, quicker than lightening, and catches the handle of knife with the blade just an inch away from his eye. Only then, does his gaze move across to the dagger, and he brings his hand down, slipping it back into it’s holster as if he was entirely unbothered by what had just happened. The Lord finishes his sentence:

“-anything can be a weapon in the hands of a killer. Back to your post, Merlin.”

Merlin bows slightly, and moves back, expression still blank as the gang stare at him with various expressions of shock and confusion.

Arthur moves back to his throne, careful to keep his face blank, though struggling not to stare at Merlin worriedly, before he says:

“Well, that was quite a display. Any other uh... stories to tell, Lord Severin?”

The man shakes his head, laughing, and replies:

“No, Your Majesty, that is all. I will reassure my employees that the visits to Ealdor are purely personal, and order them to leave it be.”

Arthur gulps and frowns slightly at the sudden change it topic, wanting desperately to look back and check on Merlin, but not daring to, as he replies:

“Of course. I’m afraid I will not be able to join you for dinner tonight, or breakfast in the morning, though I extend my invitation for you to visit the training grounds before noon. I have my best scheduled for tomorrow.”

As he says this, he gestures to the five roundtable knights, who all wipe the confusion off their faces as the Lord glances at them. In actual fact, none of them were scheduled to train tomorrow morning, but it had become habit over the years for Arthur to use them as a subtle display of strength whenever a visitor unnerved or worried him.

Severin looks back to the King, giving him a nod as he accepts:

“I would love nothing more, My Lord.”

Arthur smiles tightly and nods before dismissing him, his harsh gaze not leaving the Lord’s back until the door shuts behind him.

The moment he’s left the room, Arthur stands up, dizzyingly quickly, and steps around the throne to question Merlin, only to find that the manservant gone, slipped away through the servant’s door.

He speedily goes to follow him, wanting to get to the bottom of whatever the hell that was, but Gwen’s desperate voice halts him:

“Stop! He clearly doesn’t want to talk about it right now, we should leave him be-”

Arthur turns around and goes to retort, but Gwen cuts him off:

“-and besides, no one knows this castle better than Merlin, he’s long gone. If he doesn’t want to be found, then he won’t be found. Leave him be for a while.”

The King desperately wants to argue, but he begrudgingly nods, knowing that Gwen is right. He frowns at the desperate and questioning looks that Lancelot sends to Gaius, unaware that Arthur is looking at them.

Gaius shakes his head slightly, and Lancelot visibly relaxes, only to tense again when Arthur asks:

“Lancelot, Gaius? Do you know what just happened?”

The knights averts his gaze after giving a brief shake of the head, the Physician looks to Arthur, clearly mentally debating on the best way to answer the question. He gulps before speaking slowly:

“Other than Merlin’s mother, I am the only one to know the truth. However it is a very... personal, and frankly traumatising, topic for Merlin, and I don’t feel it’s my place to tell you. Might I request that you allow Merlin to keep his distance from Lord Severin?”

Arthur looks like he wants to argue, but the warning looks he receives from Leon and Gwen stop him, and he once again begrudgingly nods:

“I... fine. But I’ll want to know eventually. If I’m to have dealings with this Lord, I need to know if he’s involved in anything troubling."

Gaius sighs and nods:

“It is... nothing that Essetirian Lords aren’t already known for, My Lord.”

Arthur tilts his head in confusion, that doesn’t sound like it bodes particularly well but... he’d already agreed not to pry. Gaius was clearly trying not to let too much on and trying to hide how freaked out he was. Which also didn’t bode well.

Arthur copies Gaius’s sigh, nodding to himself as he gestures vaguely at the group and tiredly says:

“Alright, you’re all dismissed. Keep an eye out for Merlin, and I want to know where that Lord is at all times. There was a servant in the corridor waiting to take him to his rooms, so I would appreciate it if one of you could go check he made it. I want to know if anything happens. Rest well tonight, I want you at your best for tomorrow.”

Everyone gives a decisive nod, Leon stalking off to follow the Lord, and the others separating out to complete their normal tasks. Half-heartedly mind you, as all of them were more focussed on trying to wrap their heads around what had just happened.

~

None of them saw Merlin for the rest of the day, or the next morning. They would have been more worried, but nothing was missing from his room, a few of the castle staff had reported seeing him briefly, here and there, and the Lord had yet to try anything untoward.

When Arthur had gotten to his room that night, dinner was ready and waiting, the room had been tidied, his sleep clothes had been folded and laid on his pillow, and the hearth had been lit.

The next morning was the same. Arthur woke to to see that his empty dinner tray had been replaced with a full breakfast tray, his clothes for the day had been laid out, and his desk had been organised with a list of today’s duties left in the centre.

Arthur huffed at Merlin’s absence. He hadn’t gotten that much sleep last night, the more he thought about what had happened, the more restless he became.

There was a lot of things to worry about.

Gaius being openly shaken and worried was especially concerning. The man was usually unflappable, so whatever it was... it was bad.

And what had Lancelot been so scared about? He seemed genuinely confused but he still knows something.

And what Merlin had done with that knife...

Arthur could understand Merlin hiding a part of his life, just not mentioning it, especially if it was as traumatising as Gaius let on, but to actively lie?? To put up a clumsy, useless front with no prompting?? That was most certainly worrying. “Incredible skill” Severin had said. “One of my best”, what does that even mean??

He had called Merlin a Killer.

Still, Arthur didn’t call for his manservant to be summoned. The man was clearly after some privacy, and despite Arthur’s powerful curiosity, Gaius’s fear and Merlin’s disappearing act held him back, at least for the time being.

After finishing some paperwork, Arthur headed down to the armoury, to be met by a squire who had clearly been waiting for him. At Arthur’s confused expression, the boy tells him that he had been instructed by Merlin to help The King with his armour, and that he would be round later.

Arthur nodded, hiding his confusion. Merlin was usually incredibly protective of Arthur’s armour, BUT he said he’d be coming by later, so it wasn’t as if he were fully disposed for the whole day. Hmm.

Perhaps he was simply trying to avoid being in close quarters with Arthur, alone. Being stood at the side of a field whilst the Knights sparred was hardly the same as helping Arthur dress, one-on-one.

Still, Arthur didn’t call for his manservant to be summoned. If he weren’t so worried about Merlin, he’d be childishly proud of himself for being so selfless and caring.

He met the other five knights on the training field, satisfied to see them all in full armour, preparing for full-contact sparring. Apparently they all wanted to intimidate this Lord just as much as Arthur did. Now all they had to do was wait for the guy to show.

But Merlin appeared first. No one noticed him for a little while, but Gwaine getting distracted in the middle of a fight and allowing himself to be tripped by Elyan, certainly bought everyone’s attention to the raven-haired servant stood at the side of the field that had caught his eye.

Merlin’s expression was the same as it was yesterday. Meaning: expressionless, blank.

He doesn’t react at all as the knights stare at him, and only nods slightly when Arthur raises a hand in greeting, despite not looking directly at him. Leon’s quiet-

“Sire?”

-breaks Arthur out of his stupor, and he mutters back:

“Leave him be. He usually stands much closer than that, so he’s clearly still not in the mood to talk.”

Elyan furrows his brows as he finally helps Gwaine to his feet, before saying:

“He knows the Lord is meant to be here. If he wanted to avoid him, why come?”

Arthur shrugs but Lancelot looks surprised, and speaks as though the answer was the most obvious thing in the world:

“He’s protective of Arthur. No matter the history between Severin and himself, if he thinks the Lord is dangerous he wouldn’t allow Arthur to be in his presence without being there as well.”

Arthur frowns and huffs, but doesn’t say anything as the others nod their heads. He gestures for Leon to step into the ring with him, conscious of the fact that they had just been stood around talking.

Luckily, Severin showed up just as Arthur and Leon started to get into the swing of things, and the other knights could tell the exact moment the two of them noticed the Lord, stood about ten feet to Merlin’s left; the fight got much more... vicious.

A pro of having worked together practically their whole knighthoods (and before, for Arthur), was that Arthur and Leon could give their absolute all in matches against each other, and not have to worry about miss-stepping or accidentally hurting one another.

The sparring sessions between them often drew large crowds, but Arthur had ordered the training grounds cleared this morning, meaning that the four other knights, the Lord, and a much tenser-looking Merlin, is all their audience consisted of.

Finally, the fight came to an end, Arthur victorious as he knocks Leon to the floor. They shake hands, and Leon has to hide the swell of pride in him at the man he had trained for managing to beat him, before they make their way over to Lord Severin, closely followed by the others.

The Lord claps his hands, a wide smile on his face, and Arthur stops himself from looking at Merlin when he sees the man flinch slightly at the noise.

“Very impressive, My Lord. Your knights truly are something to behold!”

Arthur gives him a strained smile:

“Yes, I take a lot of pride in the strength of my best.”

Severin’s eyes widen, and his grin once again turns sharp. Arthur has a feeling he isn’t going to like what the man says next:

“Well, if we’re talking about the best, might I suggest that your... ah, manservant, shows off his skills? I imagine we would all find that mighty entertaining, especially considering you were previously unaware of his abilities?”

Arthur clenches his jaw, glancing at Merlin. The King was taken aback when Merlin held his gaze for the first time since before the Lord had arrived yesterday. 

Arthur answers, without looking away from Merlin, and regrets his words the moment they exit his mouth:

“I’m alright with it, but only if Merlin agrees.”

Merlin widens his eyes, only slightly, but it’s enough to show Arthur that that was the wrong thing to say. Whatever the history between Severin and Merlin was, the manservant was unable to say no to him. Arthur hadn’t given Merlin a choice, he’d allowed Severin to dictate Merlin’s answer.

The Lord claps his hands again, wolfish smile growing as he loudly proclaims:

“Brilliant! I will divert to your judgement, on who his opponent should be, My Lord.”

Merlin clenches his jaw, turning and walking towards the spare swords. He grabs one from the rack, and enters the ring, standing stiffly, waiting.

Arthur frowns at Merlin’s sudden, easy capability, before nodding at Lancelot. He was reluctant (NOT jealous) to admit it, but he and Merlin were very close, if anyone could pretend to fight Merlin convincingly without actually hurting him, it would be Lancelot.

Lancelot returns his nod, understanding his King’s thought process, before looking to Merlin with a concerned frown on his face:

“Do you not want any armour, Merlin?”

The Lord laughs as Merlin mutely shakes his head, answering for him:

“Oh, he won’t need it sir knight, like I keep saying, he’s quite skilled.”

Lancelot still looks reluctant, but at Arthur’s stiff nod and the questioning tilt of Merlin’s head, he walks into the ring and stands opposite his best friend.

He gives Merlin a nod, and hides his worry when Merlin just stares at him blankly, his stance turning loose, but sword held tightly in his hand.

Arthur signals for them to start, and Lancelot immediately has to take a rushed step back as Merlin moves quickly forward, swinging his sword up.

Lancelot just about manages to block the strike, but the strength of the hit has the bones in his arms vibrating, and his shock gives Merlin just enough time to twist his body, taking another swing before Lancelot even processes what’s happening.

The second wide arc of Merlin’s sword knocks the knight’s arm to the side violently, and he stumbles back, only just managing to keep hold of the blade. Merlin takes advantage of Lance’s newly exposed chest, and using the last of his momentum, brings a leg up and lands a harsh kick to the centre of his chest-plate.

The force throws him back and he lands sprawled on the floor several feet away.

The others knights gasp as the Lord jovially laughs and Lancelot stares at the sky in shock. All in all, that spar had lasted about five seconds, and consisted of Merlin swinging his sword only twice, and kicking him so hard he dented his armour.

Lancelot hadn’t even had time to think before it was over, and was still wide-eyed when Merlin wordlessly pulled him to his feet, frowning as he runs a hand over the damaged metal.

The other knights are still staring in shock as Lancelot lifts a hand to put it on Merlin’s shoulder. When the servant flinches backwards, he lowers his hand again, but still whispers:

“Gods, Merlin. Where the hell did you learn to fight like that?”

Merlin’s frown deepens and he clenches his jaw as he glances at the amused Lord, before stepping back, out of Lance’s reach.

Before anyone can say anything, Severin loudly exclaims:

“That’s my boy! I knew I could count on you to have not forgotten your training. How about you?”

He gestures to Elyan, and the knight looks to Arthur for confirmation. Merlin stays in the ring, waiting, back to being expressionless. He hadn’t even broken a sweat during his fight with Lancelot, didn’t even look out of breath, and Arthur’s morbid curiosity gets the better of him as he nods at Elyan.

The knight stepped into the ring, taking Lancelot’s place opposite Merlin.

Arthur gives the signal to start, and Elyan is the first one to strike this time, but Merlin moves easily out of the way, with speed and grace that no one had ever seen him express before.

Honestly, Arthur thinks the first fight might have been a fluke, because this time, Merlin spends the first twenty-five seconds blocking and dodging, making no offensive moves, and staying well out of Elyan’s way.

But Merlin makes the swap quicker than anyone can see, going from defence to offense in the blink of an eye, and within seconds of the change, Elyan is on the floor, Merlin’s sword at his throat, and his own sword lost somewhere to the side.

Merlin had moved so quickly, Elyan hadn’t really any clue how he’d ended up on the floor as he blinks up at the previously thought-to-be clumsy manservant.

After a moment, the knights once again shocked and the Lord once again cheerfully laughing, Merlin leans down and pulls the knight to his feet.

Elyan nods his thanks dumbly before picking up his sword, and heading over to the side lines, still looking confused as his brain tried to catch up with the last thirty seconds.

Merlin had, once again, not even broken a sweat, and Arthur gulps as he looks at his manservant. On the surface, he seemed... absent. Like he wasn’t really aware of what was going on, and was just waiting for it to be over. But upon closer inspection, Arthur could tell that wasn’t true.

Merlin’s stance may have been loose, but the position of his feet and the grip on his sword showed that he was fully prepared to jump into a fight without hesitation. That, the clench of his jaw, and the focus in his eyes as he stared back at Arthur, told The King that Merlin was fully aware of his surroundings.

Severin’s laugh petered out, and he points a finger at Gwaine, looking at Arthur as he questioned:

“My Lord?”

Arthur nods, and Gwaine huffs angrily. He gives The King an incredulous look but, perhaps a little selfishly, Arthur was curious about the extent of Merlin’s... abilities, so he ignores it, and Gwaine reluctantly walks to stand in front of his friend.

Merlin’s gaze drifts from Arthur to Gwaine, and he tilts his head slightly, adjusting his stance, his expression remaining in the same blank position it had been through all of the matches.

Once again, Arthur finds himself signalling the start of a fight between his best-friend (slash love of his life but like... shhh) and one of his most trusted knights.

Neither of them make a move at first, they just circle each other slowly, Gwaine’s sword raised, but Merlin’s pointed to the floor as he makes a point of keeping his stance fluid.

The Lord claps his hands together, just once, but the loud noise triggers an immediate reaction in Merlin and he pounces forward.

Gwaine takes the defensive as Merlin throws hit after hit, each one precise and specific. Gwaine is stronger than Merlin, but Merlin knows this, striking quickly and needling holes in Gwaine’s defence, moving back before he has time to launch a counter attack.

This fight goes on a lot longer than the last two, but Gwaine quickly begins to tire. At the first stumble in the knight’s step, Merlin takes a pace back, and presents his opponent with a miniscule opening.

Apparently it had been deliberate; the moment Gwaine follows him to take a swing at the gap, Merlin feints to the side, and lands a single blow that knocks Gwaine to the floor.

He chuckles darkly as his chest makes contact with the grass, realising immediately what his mistake had been. He rolls to his feet, holding his sword-less hands up in surrender. The man is breathing deeply, and even Merlin looks slightly more tired than he had before, but only slightly.

Leon lets out a deep breath, and all the knights seem to realise simultaneously that... at no point had Merlin not been in full control of each fight, setting the pace exactly how he wanted it, and taking advantage of each of their weaknesses perfectly.

Lancelot was reluctant to fight Merlin, so Merlin threw a few quick hits and had him on the floor before the knight realised he didn’t have to hold back.

Elyan had seen Merlin’s speed against Lance, and had therefore rushed to try and surprise him. Merlin took the defensive, biding his time until Elyan eventually made a mistake, and struck so quickly and harshly, he only needed one move to take him out.

With Gwaine he’d done the opposite. The man was much stronger than Merlin, so he couldn’t let him get a hit in, only allowing the knight time to defend and not attack. He waited for Gwaine to get tired and distracted, waited until he was moving automatically before presenting a tiny weakness that another knight might have missed. Gwaine fell for it hook, line, and sinker.

Gwaine resists the urge to clap Merlin on the back, proud smile quickly dropping to a frown when he sees the still blank look on his face.

The Lord doesn’t even have to request another fight before Arthur nods at Percival.

Percival looks a little less reluctant, everyone now clearly knowing that Merlin could more than hold his own; if anything, he looks a little nervous for himself, despite being six inches taller and much heavier.

This fight is a lot more quick-paced. At Arthur’s gesture, they both immediately jump into it, fighting for dominance with speed and strength. Once again, Merlin’s opponent is much stronger than he is, and Merlin tires more this round.

Percival lands a heavy to kick to Merlin’s chest, and he goes sprawling backwards, but he keeps a hold of his sword and uses the momentum to gracefully roll back onto his feet.

Before Percival has time to raise his sword again, Merlin takes advantage of the new distance between them and sprints towards him. He drops quickly, sliding between Percival’s legs, sword held close to his body as he reaches an arm out, grabbing the giant’s ankle on the way through.

His sudden grip forces Percival to take a step forward to correct his balance, but before he can turn around, Merlin quickly stands and shoves his whole body weight against his back.

The force of the shove paired with the instinctual step forward tips Percival’s centre of gravity, and he topples to the floor, rolling over to see Merlin already stood above him, panting, his sword aimed at Percival’s throat.

The other knights gasp slightly as Merlin steps away at Percival’s raised hands. They had been certain that Percival, with his size, would be the one to beat Merlin.

Apparently not.

Lord Severin is once again laughing, and Arthur (and the others) are becoming more and more confused. Merlin had beaten four of Camelot’s best in a row in about ten minutes, and was only slightly out of breath.

This was not just a bit of combat training, this was... more. This was harsh, ingrained, years upon years of practice.

Arthur and Leon remember when Merlin first arrived in Camelot, only sixteen, and dread grows in their stomachs as they realise the implications.

They’re quickly broken out of their stupors as Percival walks slowly over, still catching his breath, and The Lord loudly bellows:

“Well, that’s four out of six. We might as well go for the whole collection, what do you think, My Lord?”

Arthur takes a deep breath, he has to remember that there is politics involved here as well; he can hardly accuse the Lord of anything. But the arsehole was also clearly aware that this had been a power move on Arthur’s part, and it had completely backfired. Backing out now would... not look good.

The King gives another strained smile, gesturing Leon forward after glancing at a still blank Merlin. The manservant had already caught his breath. Damn.

Leon moves into the ring and settles into position in front of Merlin.

The dark haired servant furrows his brow, tilting his head the same way he had at Gwaine, as if he were assessing his opponent. After just a moment, he schools his face, and adjusts his feet slightly, his stance seeming a little stiffer than it had been previously.

If the others thought the last four fights were brutal... well... this was a whole new level. Camelot’s First Knight held nothing back, now confident in Merlin’s abilities (and his own, to stop at a moment’s notice if it looked like Merlin was about to get hurt), despite the fact that the man still wasn’t wearing any armour.

This match lasts a while, both of them swapping between defence and offence, the tide changing with almost every step. 

Both of them are tiring, Leon was still recovering from his spar with Arthur, and Merlin hadn’t exactly had much time to refresh between his other fights, even though he won them fairly easily.

But eventually, the match ended with a loud clang ringing out as Merlin’s sword flies from his grip.

At least... they thought it had ended, for about a split second, before they realise that Merlin looks completely unfazed.

Arthur glances to the Lord briefly, to see the man grinning with a mix of possessive pride and cruel hunger, before looking back at the ring, and widening his eyes in shock.

Merlin had quickly shaken out his hands, forming fists before darting in closer to Leon. The fact that Leon still has a strong grip on his sword doesn’t seem to bother Merlin at all, and he dodges the blade as he lands three quick hits to various weaknesses in the armour.

Leon takes a stumbled step back, surprised at the quick change in direction that the fight had gone, and that step is just enough to give Merlin space to swing a harsh elbow out to the side. The connection between his elbow, and Leon’s wrist, is sharp enough that the knight drops his sword automatically, and Merlin quickly turns his back on him, moving in close as he grabs his arm and throws him forward, over his shoulder.

Leon lands harshly on his back, winded slightly, and Merlin rolls to the side, coming up with the knight’s sword in his grip. He quickly spins around, and Leon finally catches a breath just to open his eyes and see Merlin stood above him, sword at his throat.

Leon stares up, completely shocked, hearing Gwaine mumble-

“Merlin just won a sword fight... without a fucking sword.”

-and Lancelot mutter:

“He beat Leon?”

The Lord is once again laughing, and the sound is beginning to grate on everyone’s sanity (everyone bar Merlin, who still looks blank and absent) as Merlin pulls Leon to his feet, wincing apologetically as the knight rubs his own back.

Leon puts on a strained, but fond smile, as Merlin hands him his sword, and mutters:

“Well done, Merlin, very impressive.”

Which had apparently been the wrong thing to say; Merlin flinches back, drops his expression once again into blankness, and steps away to pick up his own sword.

Leon frowns, walking towards the other knights and the Lord as Merlin deposits his sword back in the rack. His movements have lost the cat-like fluidity he had when fighting, and he’s back to being stiff and tense, eyes averted to the floor, jaw tightly clenched.

The knights look on in worry, still confused, but having mostly gotten over the novelty of Merlin being able to fight, and focussing more on how the hell he’d kept it a secret for so long. On top of trying to figure out how he’d learnt in the first place.

Lord Severin frowns sarcastically, tilting his head at Merlin as if he were a child, and saying:

“Aren’t you going to spar with your King, Merlin? I thought we were going for six out of six?”

Arthur frowns at him, looking between the Lord, who looks like a vicious beast hunting his prey, and Merlin, who’s looking a lot like that prey.

Merlin takes a deep, shaking breath at his questions, raising his head to meet the Lord’s gaze for the very first time. Arthur can see the fear in his eyes, and takes a subtle step towards him, to stand between Merlin and his hunter. Merlin glances at him quickly, almost fearfully, and gulps as he looks back at Severin, stuttering out:

“I... I won’t fight Arthur. Not for you, I... I don’t fight people for you anymore.”

The Lord tilts his head and smirks:

“My, how you’ve grown up. You never would have spoken to me like that as a child-”

Arthur can hear the other knights gasp, and is grateful when Leon holds Gwaine back as the man takes an aggressive step towards the Lord.

“-though I doubt King Arthur is as strict of a master as I was.”

Arthur’s frown deepens, but before he can say anything, Merlin snarls out:

“Arthur is nothing like you.”

His sudden change in demeanour takes Severin by surprise, but only for a second; his look of shock falling back into a condescending smirk once more:

“Hmm. Probably why you’ve gone so soft. Honestly Merlin, you were once the best, now you refuse to make your opponents bleed. Oh, how far you’ve fallen.”

Arthur has heard enough, and he steps in front of the Lord, between him and Merlin, and without breaking gazes with the vile man in front of him, loudly says:

“You’re dismissed for the afternoon, Merlin. Go grab some lunch, we’ll see you later.”

Arthur still doesn’t look back as he hears Merlin walk quickly towards the castle. The Lord gives Arthur an assessing gaze, smirk remaining on his face, before saying:

“It would seem that you’re quite... protective, of your staff, Your Majesty?”

Arthur gives him an incredibly strained smile, not even aware of how tightly he was gripping the hilt of the sword at his hip as he replies in a low voice:

“Hmm. Something like that. Well, we’ve solved our border issue, and you’ve seen my knights in action, so unless there’s anything else?”

Severin tilts his head, and raises an amused eyebrow, clearly understanding Arthur’s meaning:

“No, that’s all. Your city is wonderful, however I’ll be leaving very shortly I’m afraid, within the next few hours. I have men to reassure.”

With that, the Lord bows deeply, and stalks back towards the castle, thankfully taking a different route than Merlin. Normally Arthur would call him out on the rudeness and impropriety of turning one’s back on a King, and leaving without being dismissed, but at this point, Arthur just wants him gone.

The moment he disappears round a corner, the group lets out a collective sigh, all of them looking troubled. Elyan is the first to speak:

“I’ve travelled through Essetir, I’ve heard the rumours. Do you think that Merlin...?”

His question trails off, but it’s obvious what he was asking. Leon answers once he realises that Arthur isn’t going to say anything:

“He was sixteen when he came to Camelot. To have that sort of extensive, ingrained training... he would have to have been.”

All of them let out harsh breaths and Gwaine curses viciously under his breath, before grinding out:

“Permission to follow Severin back to Essetir and slaughter him somewhere in the woods, sire?”

All of them look expectantly at Arthur, but he still stares in the direction Merlin had walked as he sighs, and replies quietly:

“No. His men know he came here about some sort of issue. If he never makes it back, it doesn’t matter how well you set the scene, it’ll start a war-.”

Gwaine grumbles something about stupid rules under his breath, but relents. He definitely perks up slightly at Arthur’s next words:

“-However. If we ever come across him during any sort of conflict, feel free to use more force than technically necessary. For now... we need to find Merlin.-”

The others nod vigorously, and gather closer as Arthur continues, finally looking at them:

“-Leon, Elyan, go and find Gwen and Gaius, at this time they should be running medications around to the knights’ barracks, then meet back in the courtyard. We can’t split up to find Merlin, because we’d have no way to tell each other if someone found him, and I don’t want to risk leaving him alone because he might disappear again. We’ll have to search together, hopefully Gaius will have some sort of idea, because Gods know he won’t have gone to have lunch like I told him.”

Everyone murmurs their agreement, and without another word, they all head back up to the castle.

~

Leon and Elyan had found Gaius and Gwen exactly where Arthur said they would, and all eight of them are soon gathered in the courtyard.

The knights quickly explained what had happened. Gaius looked unsurprised, though increasingly worried with every word, and it was only the Physician’s genuine panic, and the dent in Lancelot’s armour that convinced Gwen this wasn’t some big prank.

Arthur looked at Gaius expectantly, and the older man thought for a moment. He sighed, before saying:

“When he first arrived in Camelot, Merlin had... a great many nightmares. The first time, I found him under his bed. The second and third times I found him curled up, hidden away in a cupboard that he had emptied out. After that, I reorganised so the cupboard was permanently empty. He hasn’t used it in years, but I never got round to refilling it. If... if I had to take a guess at where he is, I’d say there.”

Everyone nods and the group begins to make their way to the Physician’s chambers.

On the way, Gwaine expressed confusion at Merlin’s apparent love of tight spaces, but Leon quickly piped up:

“It’s a fairly common response to trauma, I’ve seen it in the occasional knight after particularly bloody battles. Some people become terrified of tight spaces-”

Gaius interrupted, informing the group that it was called “claustrophobia”.

“-but some people find it comforting. I guess Merlin likes feeling protected on all sides?”

The physician nodded grimly, and quietly informs the group that it might be best for only one or two people to approach Merlin, and for everyone else to stay back, so as to not overwhelm him. The knights reluctantly agreed, Percival announcing that Gaius and Lancelot were the obvious choices.

Lancelot protested:

“No, you should’ve seen his face when he saw the dent in my armour, it’ll just freak him out even more. Arthur should go, he’s the only one Merlin didn’t beat to a pulp.”

Gaius agreed, and Arthur nodded as well, though reluctantly.

They quickly found themselves outside the Physician’s chambers, the door left open slightly. With one last worried look to each other, Arthur pushes the door wider, and steps through, quietly calling Merlin’s name.

Gaius goes to point the cupboard out, but two quiet knocks from inside alert everyone to it first.

The knights and Gwen gather dutifully to one side of the room, still in sight of the cupboard should Merlin open the door, but far enough away so as to not crowd him.

Arthur sits himself down in front of the cupboard, and Gaius perches on a bench a few feet behind him.

The King whispers Merlin’s name again, and knocks gently on the wood. After a few seconds, the door opens, and Merlin slips out, sitting cross-legged on the floor, his knees just about brushing against Arthur’s.

He is once again blank-faced, and everyone’s eyes are drawn to his dagger being twirled and twisted skilfully between his fingers.

His eyes are focussed on the blade, and Arthur resists the urge to reach out and touch him, knowing that he was already on thin ice, being this close to him. He talks gently, his voice quiet, though still loud enough for the others to hear him:

“He’ll be gone by evening, and he won’t ever be coming back.”

Merlin nods, only slightly, but it’s enough to let Arthur know that he’s at least aware of his surroundings. The servant gulps before whispering:

“Don’t let him take me, please.”

Arthur bites his lip to stop himself from gasping, and slowly, ever so slowly, moves a hand to rest on Merlin’s knee. When Merlin doesn’t flinch away, Arthur squeezes his leg slightly before moving his hand away:

“Never. None of us would ever let him take you away, Merlin. You never have to see him again; you’re safe here, we’ll make sure of it.”

Merlin nods again, and Gaius hands him a goblet of water. He takes only a small sip before setting it aside, but it’s a good start; the Physician figured that Merlin almost certainly hadn’t eaten, slept, or drank enough in the last twenty-four hours.

After a minute or so of silence, Merlin replaces the dagger in its holster, and clasps his hands tightly in his lap, staring at his intertwined fingers.

He clears his throat slightly, and the gang wasn’t sure whether to be grateful or more worried, that he looked sad as opposed to blank, as he quietly speaks, still staring into his lap:

“Essetir has always been a fan of... of child soldiers. We thought we were safe in Ealdor because we were so far from the capital, but they came when I was seven. If I fought back or tried to escape, they threatened to burn the village down, so I just... did what I was told. The lessons were... we were trained against each other, except every match was to the death. Hundreds of children... killing other children, until only the best remained. Gods there was always so much blood.-”

Everyone bar Gaius had to make a concerted effort to hold in their tears and gasps of rage. Arthur took a deep breath and put his hand on the floor next to Merlin, not touching him, but an obvious offer of comfort if Merlin wanted to take it. Gwen grips her brother’s hand tightly, and Leon has to stop Gwaine from drawing blood from his palms with his own nails.

Merlin takes a deep, shaking breath, and puts his hand on the floor next to Arthur’s; not taking it, but just about brushing thumbs:

“-Children were... we were tactically useful. We were dressed in civilian clothing so we could slip in and out of places, killing people and stealing things and setting traps and fires, without being noticed. And if we were noticed, people would hesitate. They would hesitate just long enough for us to... to kill them.-”

Tears were falling freely from at least half the room’s occupants now, everyone else not far off.

Merlin moves his hand further towards Arthur’s, and he takes it without hesitation, running his thumb over Merlin’s knuckles softly.

The servant lifts his gaze falteringly, and Arthur gives him a weak smile, and nods as he prepares to continue:

“-I was good. I mean I was really good. I was given all the most difficult jobs; I had a higher body-count before I hit twelve summers than you do now. All the army generals, and the particularly rich Lords, and even... even Cenred when I got older, took an interest in me. They thought I was the best thing since the start of civilisation, because I was small and weak-looking, and I had a sad face and big blue eyes. My... targets, never wanted to defend themselves against me. They... they all died for their hesitation.-”

Tears overflow from Merlin and Arthur’s eyes at the same time, and The King can hear Gwen’s quiet crying behind him. He knew without a doubt that the knights would be crying too, he didn’t even need to look. All of them normally had such strong stomachs for violence but this... this was so much worse, and it was Merlin.

Merlin gulps, and his grip on Arthur’s hand tightens:

“-I escaped when I was fourteen. I don’t know why it took me that long, I guess I was just... lost. Lost in the orders and the missions and all the... all the death and blood. I was sent to burn a few buildings down and I just... set the flame and ran. There was nothing but ash left at the end and no one could find me so it was assumed I had gotten trapped inside and died. I wondered around in the wilderness for a while. I was pretty self sufficient by then but I didn’t want to go home, in case they went looking for me there. To be honest... I barely remembered where my home was,-”

His voice drops to almost a whisper, and the others have to strain to hear him:

“-I... I couldn’t even remember what my mum looked like.-”

His voice rose again as he glanced quickly at Gaius, and at the older man’s reassuring, though mournful, smile, he looked back at Arthur:

“-But I found my way home after about ten months. I figured out pretty quickly who my mum was, she barely let me go for weeks.-”

At this, Merlin thankfully lets out a weak chuckle, but the tears still fall, and he squeezes Arthur’s hand once more.

His faces falls back into despair as he continues, and everyone knows that there’s still bad to come:

“-It was... difficult. I didn’t trust anyone, I didn’t know how village life worked, how normal human interaction worked. I knew how to speak and read and write but... I had barely said a word in eight years so I stayed pretty much silent. It was... odd, to be allowed to speak freely, move freely. It was... terrifying. More so than what I had before, in some ways, because... I had nothing. There was nothing to me. Could you imagine how hard it was? To be fifteen and to have no personality? No likes or dislikes... no understanding of how the world outside of war works? Understanding nothing but how to be a good soldier?-”

Arthur shakes his head, lifting his other hand to rest gently on Merlin’s knee, and only dropping it there when the tearful man nodded slightly.

The crying from behind The King had slowed, but not stopped, and Merlin continued:

“-I suddenly had to find out who I was as a person, minus all the blood and death and missions. I had to figure out what was... socially acceptable. What to smile at and what to frown at. I was... a completely blank slate. I was barely even a person. Just killer’s hands with a body attached.-”

At that, Arthur gently took Merlin’s other hand as well, and made a point of stroking them softly.

“-Just after I turned sixteen, I was sent to Camelot. I’d just about figured out the basics of interacting with people, I could fake it pretty well at least, but being in Ealdor... I couldn’t relax. I just expected them to come for me again, that any day an Essetirian patrol would show up and drag me back and burn the village down. Officially, I was sent here to learn to be a Physician, to learn to heal instead of kill. Unofficially... no one said it, but everyone knew, I was sent away because I wasn’t coping. I needed a change of scenery, being in Ealdor was making things worse, and with Gaius here, I would at least have a little support.”

Arthur gives him a smile, but before he can say anything, Percival takes just a small step forward. He speaks in such a soft tone; strangers would think a man of his stature incapable of expressing:

“And now you have all of us, Merlin. No matter what.”

The others nod, and even Gwen wipes away her tears to give him the widest smile she’s currently capable of. Merlin looks at her and frowns slightly, tilting his head as if confused.

After a moment’s hesitation, Merlin gives her a weak smile in return. When he looks over to Gaius, the Physician nods approvingly, and his smile widens, just slightly.

With that, the whole group seems to come to the same conclusion, at the same time: that Merlin had essentially just asked if smiling was the right thing to do.

Gwen was crying, and clearly upset, and Merlin understood that. But then she smiled. He’s been away from his... military roots for long enough now that he knew the right response, genuinely felt the right response, but with everything being uprooted and old wounds being exposed, he needed the reassurance that his reaction had been socially correct.

Arthur clenches his jaw tightly, thinking back on the ten years worth of interactions he’d had with Merlin. How he’d always kept his cards close to his chest; was rarely outwardly angry, and got happy over the simplest things: flowers and books and fluffy animals. 

He thinks about how terrifying it must have been. To have to learn to be... well... human. To have to learn how to perfectly imitate human behaviour until he developed his behaviour.

Merlin takes another sip of his water before taking a deep breath. He looks to Gaius, determination in his face, and at the Physician’s hesitant smile, but firm nod, Merlin takes a deep breath and looks back to Arthur:

“There’s more.”

Arthur frowns, and tilts his head. What else could there possibly be? He hears one of the others take in a sharp breath, and out of the corner of his eye he sees Gaius look to the offending knight, and give another firm nod.

Arthur gulps, and nods at Merlin, encouraging the man to continue:

“I had to do all of that whilst... whilst hiding the magic I was born with,-”

A chorus of gasps go up around the room, and Arthur tenses slightly, sitting up straight, but not letting go of Merlin’s hand. The King sees the fear in Merlin’s eyes, and the way the goblet shakes in his hand, and gives him an uncertain smile. Arthur isn’t as surprised as he thinks he should be.

“-because if they found out, things would get worse. Cenred had enslaved sorcerers as well as children in his army. If he’d found out how... how powerful I was, even as a child, I never would’ve escaped.”

Arthur nods his head absent-mindedly, once again thinking on his ten years of friendship with Merlin. It... made sense. 

Gods how terrifying.... 

To have all of that happen as a child, to finally find your way home just to find that you aren’t safe there either. And THEN to be sent to Camelot of all places. How terrifying, to have the safest place for you to be, be the city where the violent persecution of your people originated.

Arthur clenched his jaw before looking back at Merlin. He still looks scared, and Arthur squeezes his hand, firmly saying:

“I swear to you Merlin, in the name of Camelot, that you will never have to be afraid again.”

Merlin’s eyes widen, and tears begin to fall again as he tilts his head. Arthur gives him a smile:

“Come on, Merls. How could I possibly believe magic to be evil when you were born with it? There’s not an evil bone in your body.”

Merlin’s face falls, and he looks as though he’s going to argue, but Arthur beats him to it, speaking before he can even open his mouth:

“And we all know it.”

Merlin looks up again, speechless and teary, as Leon steps forward:

“The laws will change, Merlin, and you’ll be safe and free. And if the council have a problem with that... well...-”

Leon looks back at the other knights, all looking as determined as he is. He grins, and wipes the remaining tears from his eyes as he looks back to the bewildered servant, grinning Physician, and fondly smiling King:

“-I’m sure we can persuade them.”

Merlin returns his grin, and Arthur is more than relieved to see that Merlin doesn’t have to double-check his reaction this time.

~

THE END!!

Wowie that was a ride. I honestly wasn’t even planning on writing a magic reveal in this but it just sorta... happened... oops

Same as always lads, you wanna write it all proper? Go for it, credit and tag me :)

[insanity-laughs-under-pressure]

I had an amazing idea for a Merlin season 6!

So basically, Merlin is sat by Avalon one day and as a last ditch attempt to get Arthur back he does some crazy magic shit where his eyes go full on golden.

Then the squad starts to materialise from the lake. So obviously Merlin runs into the lake to say hi to Gwen, Leon, Lancelot, Gwaine and the rest of the gang.

The last person to appear in the lake is Arthur, so whilst everyone else is catching up Merlin spots Arthur and Arthur spots Merlin (they each whisper each others name when they see each other because that shit makes me smile).

Arthur then stumbles towards Merlin as fast as he can, and then he basically lifts Merlin into a hug, shouting about how proud he is that Merlin finally managed to get them back.

Merlin is just a puddle of joy at this point, in fact he's so happy to see Arthur he kisses him (it's very romantic, it's a bit like that moment in 'Mama Mia here we go again' where Sophie sees Scott again (I think that's their names)).

The squad starts cheering in the background. Gwaine whistles. Leon starts clapping, whilst shouting finally. Gwen turns to Elyan and goes "I told you so". Lancelot and Percival look on proudly and join Leon in clapping.

SO. Now Merlin is showing everyone the way back to camelot - which Merlin now uses for events and stuff because he got bored - and Arthur is one of the only ones who actually has a grasp on modern day. This is because he has had to watch Merlin over the last 1500 years. (yes Arthur has had to wait for Merlin too, it's better that way).

Anyway some stuff happens. BUT. The main problem they need to fix is that magic is dying.

Now. This is where it gets interesting. The knights of the round table + Gwen, all have to try and help Merlin figure out how to fix magic.

Whilst on this quest they run into Morgana and Mordred. Merlin instantly tries to kill Mordred (because you know I'm assuming his hatred towards him has x5 since he killed Arthur).

After a long conversation and a lot of threats from both parties they all decide to forget the past because fixing magic is more important.

PLOT TWIST!

Leon pulls Arthur aside one day to ask Arthur if he's feeling ok. Arthur being Arthur just says everything is fine. HOWEVER, the wonderful sir Leon knows that he's not and asks Arthur if he's worried about the whole "magic dying thing" so Arthurs like "well I'd prefer it if there wasn't a chance of Merlin dying" *reluctantly cries a manly tear*.

Leon is then like "there, there sire". And bam this is where the plot twist comes in. We know that after s2 ep8 Leon knows that Arthur was born of magic. This means that Leon knows that it won't just be Merlin possibly dying but Arthur too.

Arthur tells Leon that he doesn't want to tell Merlin because after last time he's worried about how it would effect Merlin.

In the end love comes out on top (quite literally in this case *laughs in gay*) and Arthur and Merlin get revived together and they all live happily ever after.

[hasmashdoneanythingwrong]

Actually, List of British Servant Vs Cooking Skill:

The Arturias: Nope, never learned and never needed to. That’s honestly it, their lack of cooking isn’t anything funny, they could probably learn to if they wanted.

Gawain: Oh fuck no he can’t! This is actually canon, he’s a one note chef and that note is Bad™

Lancelot: Yes but only to impress the ladies and get laid, and ever then it’s only vaguely decent. Also the cooking isn’t that great.

Tristan: Honestly? Better than the other Knights (except Bedivere) I honestly believe this. I honestly believe Tristan is allowed in the kitchen because he is not a total fuck up somehow.

Bedivere: Like everything in comparison to the Knights, Bedivere is Good But Not The Best. At least, in theory, but Bedivere is Good in a sea of “Banned From The Kitchen” Types, so by comparison Bedivere is a cooking god. Also Bedivere is Good Boy so he can improve unlike most everyone else on this list.

Galahad: Unfortunately yes, Mr Perfect learned to cook because of fucking course he did.

Mordred: Oh he’d try, bless his heart he’d try! But no, this kid cannot cook. Much to the disappointment of Fran.

Agravain: His grease just gets into everything he cooks, ruins everything. Also he’d be the type to make health food exclusively probably.

Gareth: ...Look let’s just say at this point none of the Orkney siblings can cook, though Gareth would mess up the least.

Waver: ...You really think this disaster of a man can cook?

Gray: Hey someone in Wavers entourage has to, and like many things that falls to Gray.

Reines: No Reines, Trimmau cooking does not count as you cooking.

Boudica: Yes and this is canon, however she’s really Iceni so she’s only British on a technicality.

Merlin and Proto Merlin: You look me in the eyes and say you truly believe, in you heart of hearts, that the literal Internet Wizards can cook and cook well. Yeah that’s what I thought.

Astolfo: Ok look I know they’re a French literary character but they’re English in the story so they count. Anyways answer is no but unlike most other noes here they’re not a colossal cooking fuck up they just need a minor amount of work. Like, edible but not preferable.

Moriarty: Honestly? Yes, I do think Moriarty could cook, man is clearly a Man of Wealth And Taste, if nothing else he makes a mean cocktail and I know that doesn’t necessarily translate to cooking but I just Know he can make something serviceable. If nothing else he’s smart enough to know how to not fuck up!

Sherlock: No. Sherlock hides it well enough but this is a slight disaster man and sadly he cannot cook despite his intellect. ...Unless a case requires him to, in which case nothing will taste better. He will figure out gramgram’s secret apple pie recipe for that case and replicate it perfectly and you will be in awe.

Robin Hood: Man lived on his own in Sherwood he probably knows more about how to perfectly roast meat over a fire than anyone else in the world, among other open fire recipes. Also he would actually listen to constructive criticism, a bonus in his favor!

Francis Drake: Actually, I bet she could and would, and she’d do it with stolen spices (not too many though, she needs those to make money with!) In all seriousness, she’s a pirate, at the very least she likely knows how to make things edible if she gets stuck somewhere.

Charles Babbage: Modern English Servant, enough said.

Nursery Rhyme: Not counting her as she’s a child based on fairy tales, and is only English by technicality.

Shakespear: Even if he could, he wouldn’t because he’d enjoy seeing you try to stomach the tragedy that is this meal.

Jack the Ripper: Uh, no, I do not think the aggregation of dead children who never had mothers know how to cook.

Florence Nightingale: Cooking food keeps you from getting sick.