#merthur whump

[tansyuduri]

Art by @kairennart for "Nine Lives" Based on the Five Of Swords Tarrot Card.

Arthur smoothed Merlin's hair again, trying to calm his own breathing. “He’s not waking up,” Arthur’s voice cracked.

“Give it a moment. His body has been through a lot,” Gaius told him. Arthur nodded and tilted Merlin's face upward again. “You’re alright,” he whispered again, “you’re alright. Everything is alright.” Except it wasn’t, and Arthur had no idea how the curse would strike next. 

He watched Merlin, trying not to hyperventilate as he cradled the other man’s cheek. His thumb stroked it gently. “Come on…” Arthur begged, “wake up… You’re alright…” He had to be alright.

Finally, Merlin’s eyes slowly flickered open. The blue that reminded Arthur of a night sky flicked around the room quickly before meeting Arthur’s own eyes and focusing slowly. It was the most beautiful sight Arthur had ever seen. 

It was all he could do not to kiss him right then and there. Let him breathe, he reminded himself. Let him breathe. His thumb continued to stroke Merlin's cheek. He bent forward and kissed his forehead again. Pulling back, he discovered Merlin's eyes still focused on him. 

“Merlin…you can hear me?”  Arthur asked.

Merlin gave a very slight nod, eyes still staring up into Arthur’s. 

“Good, it's about time you woke up from your beauty rest.” It was all Arthur could do to keep his tone even and his voice from cracking as he spoke. 

Merlin’s gaze instantly switched to being utterly incredulous. His eyes practically screamed “you ass”. 

Arthur started to laugh hysterically, and he leaned down, embracing Merlin with both arms. Taking a few deep breaths of his own before pulling back, he sat on the end of Merlin’s bed and pulled the other man close. One hand rubbed up and down Merlin’s back while the other caressed the nape of his neck and the bottom of his black hair. Arthur’s lips pressed over Merlin’s skin wherever he could reach.

Internally, he continued to panic, because this could never happen to Merlin again. And it would if he didn’t do something. An idea struck him, perhaps he could plead with the witch— convince her that her revenge was better if the victim of it was him. 

Fic found here!

[chillhypocrite]

Merlin and the terrible, awful, no-good, very bad day.

[gvaine]

WHAT DOESN'T KILL ME MAKES ME WANT YOU MORE @merthurweek2023 day six —Cruel Summer

[mysticsublimeperson]

(Really angsty merthur modern Au.)

NUMB

Merlin and Arthur had been dating in secret for the better part of a year, or more accurately, they had this almost play of happy married couple that they put on every couple of days in Merlins apartment.

Arthur was this big name in his industry, son of a political figure, god forgive him having any kind of scandal that could potentially ruin his bright future. On the other hand Merlin was only a technician in the company, going to school at night to have a degree in teaching. When they started... whatever the hell they were doing, Merlin was hesitant, but he has never been able to say no to Arthur.

They didn't really talk, because that would make it real, they have a nice time together in his flat, they would have dates and movie nights and dinners, but outside, it was like Merlin's presence was enough to tip Arthur over the edge. And when school became too much and they couldn't meet or the work piled up, it was worse. If Arthur was mad, he would put it on him.

This situation resulted in Merlin loosing most, if not all of his confidence, he became quiet and avoided Arthur on the workplace, when they were together it was like nothing had really changed, not much anyway, not something very obvious, maybe sometimes he would not defend himself from some comments, or would be a little too self deprecating, but the changes where subtle enough that nobody at work really noticed much.

But Merlin's friends did notice. Nobody knew that Merlin was dating someone, he had always been really private with his love live since he was outed in high school and bullied by his crush, and all of his friends respected that. but they thought that maybe it was the lack of love life that was slowly turning Merlin into this zombie, basically they thought he needed to get laid.

So they invited him to a club. Guilt tripped him into coming and got him drunk enough to finally let himself loose in the crowd.

And then...

It was nobody's fault, but that didn't make Freya, Will, and Gwaine any better. Gwaine was too drunk to be vigilant, Freya was enjoying herself with a cute girl from another country and Will had gone out for a smoke. Merlin was an adult. He was supposed to be able to care for himself. He was supposed to be able to stand up for himself, to protect himself from this situations.

Bu he was also pathetic.

So it was nobody's fault.

But his.

The guy was perfectly nice, they had been dancing and talking a bit in between the songs.

Edwin was blond, and the lights were low, and Merlin was drunk.

He had asked if Merlin had a boyfriend and Merlin didn't quite know what to answer. Then he gave Merlin a bit of his drink to try.

And Merlin has trouble remembering anything else that night.

Or at least that's what he told the therapist that comes twice a day to check on him at the hospital.

In reality he remembers a bit more than what he would want to remember.

"This is the only thing you are good for"

He remembers almost all of the comments, but that had resonated within himself. Had made him stop fighting while three other people restrained his limbs.

Because that's something Arthur had said before.

And then, everything after that, was a blur. He was numb and unresponsive and apparently that's a turn off so they contented themself with beating him and leaving him in the streets, with open wounds and ripped clothes.

Someone had called the police and an ambulance.

He was taken care in the ER, but he could not bring himself to speak, so they put him in a room and a therapist had come to talk to him, about how this must be really scary and new, how he must be in shock because usually men aren't the target of sexual assault, how even if he felt embarrassed or ashamed he should try to speak to the police, if not for himself, to prevent this from happening to another people.

And all of what they said was true. He felt all of those things, and was ashamed and scared, but there was also something they didn't know, something nobody knew, because he was not worth it, he was not enough for someone to show him off proudly, for someone to love him openly. So something must be wrong with him.

But he agreed to talk to the police.

He still couldn't bring himself to talk, even when he tried, so the therapist gave him a notepad and a pen, and accompanied him throughout the whole ordeal.

His phone had a few messages and calls, and not enough battery.

He wrote to his mother, it was the only person he could bring himself to try and explain the whole truth.

Then he wrote to his department manager, Gaius letting him know that he was going to take a sick leave.

And lastly he wrote to the group chat, where the latest messages had been a few encouraging text celebrating the assumption that he had gotten laid.

"It didn't turnt out well, I want to be alone"

He knew it wouldn't work for long but he just couldn't...

With the notepad he also asked his therapist to not let anybody but his mother in. He didn't want to deal with nobody's reaction, above all, because he didn't know how to react himself.

He thought in contacting Arthur, but quickly abandoned the idea. Arthur only wanted him on his conditions, he would probably never want Merlin again, seeing the state of him.

That made him feel lost and sad. And everything became numb.

His mother arrived early on the second day at the Hospital, after 5 hours on train, and cried hard when she saw him. He cried quietly too.

On the third day, Arthur was at his door.

His mother had opened thinking it was the nurse, and then rushed him outside to have a hushed conversation, thinking Merlin asleep. Merlin hadn't been able to properly sleep since...

He hadn't expect that. He didn't know how the hell Arthur knew where he was, or how he was able to pass through up to his door he didn't know.

He couldn't see the door, or hear what was happening, but dread pooled his insides. The other shoe was about to drop, and he didn't know what did that mean exactly.

Either or, something was going to end.

[chonkymoth]

Did somebody say I feel we're sinking deeper with more Speed the more we strive Is that what we get for playing Too close to the sun?

arthur pendragon of bbc's merlin + close to the sun by porcelain pill

[dreamofcamelot]

what do you mean this is a fan art I made while in the dentist waiting room and not a real piece one of their servants made on a parchment back in the 12th century

(meme under the cut)

[junemo10]

me reading a description of a fanfic on AO3: OO this is perfect! This is exactly the genre I’ve been into lately!

*looks at title, realizes that it’s the one I recently read that got me into the genre I’m currently obsessed with*

GODDAMN IT

*reads it again anyway*

[uniasus]

Fic series rec - BBC Merlin. 301K

Summary: At the heart, this is just a collection of all the author's BBC Merlin fics. But all 72 to them are some type of whump/angst, so love.

Comments: Occasionally I troll and bookmark the whump stuff, and when I realized a lot of good ones all came from this series, I just...went and binged them. I'd read most of the first thirty before, enjoying every reread, before heading into new territory. Many of these fics are whump event fills, and things are well tagged if you want to pick and choose. But why do that? All these stories are delicious.

[feyver]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Merlin (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin) Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin) Additional Tags: Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Sickfic, Hurt/Comfort, Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Protective Gwaine (Merlin), Protective Lancelot (Merlin), Worried Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Worried Gwaine (Merlin), Worry, Fluff and Angst, Caring Gaius (Merlin), Caring Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Canon Era, POV Merlin (Merlin), POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Worried Knights (Merlin), mandatory cold iron fic Summary:

The gang are captured and the shackles around Merlin's wrists are burning.

Cue a miserable manservant, worried knights and quickly thought up excuses from Gaius.

[poppy5991]

All of Arthur’s dedication to being a perfect prince and a dutiful son has led him to an arranged engagement that comes with more than its fair share of danger. Grappling with the stress of the situation and questioning his place in his own life leaves Arthur desperate for a moment’s reprieve.

Constantly running into the foreign assassin that Cenred’s court brought along for the wedding is surely dangerous. But Arthur can’t help being drawn to Merlin’s sharp blue eyes and rebellious spirit.

They say that curiosity killed the cat. But satisfaction brought it back. Could choosing something for himself for the first time really be so risky?

~

Hello, my loves! This one has been in the idea folder for a while and I’m having a great time writing it. So I hope you check it out if you like this ship! 😊

[tansyuduri]

Art by @kairennart for "Coronet and Witch Iron" Based on the Wheel of Fortune Tarrot Card

Arthur had barely opened his eyes the next morning when he heard Cenred’s voice calling, “It's time to do some experiments with Witch Iron!” 

Cenred came into view beyond the gate to their cell, a wide grin on his face.

Arthur stood slowly trying to ignore the aching pain in his body and the swollen painful eye. He crossed their small cell towards Cenred, a scowl on his face. Then a voice came from behind him, “You’re going to pay for how you hurt him.” Arthur tried to gesture for Merlin to shut up. He should have known better.

Merlin stepped forward instead. “Does hurting us make you feel like a powerful king?” he asked, scathingly. “Ooh wait! A powerful king wouldn’t need to do this. You are nothing but a pathetic excuse for a leader. Let alone a person. How does it feel to be so weak that you have to result to being a childlike bully to feel good?”

Arthur swore internally and grabbed Merlin's shoulder pulling him back. Merlin agitating Cenred was not surprising but after what he had said last night Arthur had hopped for a bit more restraint. Then he realized Merlin might be doing this on purpose in some sort of stupid self sacrificial attempt to make Cenred focus on him. But this was also Merlin. He couldn't be sure he could just be saying whatever he felt like. 

Cenred leered at them. His tone was not angry… more almost joyful. “You really are remarkably annoying. I will be entertained by shutting you up.”

Arthur stepped forward again ready to fight when the cell door opened.

“Arthur!” Merlin's word of warning and then coughing caught his attention. Arthur turned only for orange gas to hit his face. It was coming out of a vent above them. Immediately Arthur’s eyes started to water. He began to cough. 

Arthur dived, grabbing Merlin and tackling him to the ground amongst flailing limbs. Pure instinct drove him to try to protect. It would not be enough. That was Arthur's last coherent thought before he fell into darkness.

Read it here!

[daisymintt]

Merlin and Arthur were on their way back to the citadel after a successful quest when they were attacked by a group of bandits. Merlin had taken a slash across his stomach from a very dirty sword, he was sure if the wound didn’t get cleaned soon it’d get infected, and Arthur had dislocated his left shoulder before they where able to get away.

Arthur supported Merlins weight on his uninjured side as they escaped only to get cornered against a cliff face. Arthur helped Merlin slide to the ground, his back pressed against the cold stone. Merlin gritted his teeth against the pain, an arm wrapped around his middle trying to suppress the bleeding, slipping in and out of consciousness. Merlin tried to grab at Arthur’s arm as he stood, hand on the hilt of his sword.

“No, Arthur, they’ll kill you!” Merlin gasped out. Arthur looked back resolutely.

“Don’t worry Merlin, I won’t let them near you.” Arthur promised, stepping forward and unsheathing his sword as the bandits stepped out from among the surrounding trees trapping them.

Lightheaded and desperate he encanted in a whisper a spell he hadn’t used since the incident with Knight Valiant, “Bebiede þe arisan cwicum.” (I command you to rise up to life.)

His eyes flashed gold, the familiar feeling of his magic warming him. The golden dragon crest embroidered on Arthur’s signature Pendragon red cloak started moving. Its head lifted from the fabric, solid and real, and the attackers stumbled back in fright.

Arthur, still unaware of the dragon coming to life on his cloak, was confused by his attackers sudden fear. The dragons wings came next, then its legs, and finally its thin, whiplike tail, until its entire body was free from the confines of the red fabric. Arthur yelped and threw his cloak on the ground, the little golden scaled dragon tumbling across the forest floor with it. She got to her feet and shook her head. One of the attackers laughed and taunted, “What’s this here? Is this little lizard gonna protect you?”

“Κα ὶ στρατηγ ὸ ν δ ὲ α ὐ τ ὸ ν ἀ πέδειξε.” (Protect Arthur.) he commanded the dragon in a deep whispered tone. She looked towards him and ducked her head in obedience before directing her attention to the attackers who had gotten more bold now. One of them raised their sword, ready to bring it down towards Arthur who looked frightened and confused, his dislocated arm hanging limply at his side while the other tightly gripped his sword, but before the blow could land the tiny dragon launched herself at him.

With her tiny, needle sharp claws she claws at his eyes, wings beating around his face. He screamed in pain and desperately tried to pull her off him causing her to dig her claws in deeper. His cohorts started yelling to each other, unsure how to help. One of them used the butt of his sword and slammed it into the man’s face, missing the intended target and knocking him out. His body collapsed on the floor, bloody scratches marred his face and his nose was bloody and broken.

The little dragon perched on his chest ready to pounce, its tail lashing about, then fast as a snake she struck. Before the bandit could react she flew at him and buried her fangs in his shoulder, he shrieked and tried to pry her off but she was too quick for him. She darted down the mans tunic, the man began hopping from foot to foot yelping and in pain as he tried to grab her. At one point he must’ve struck her because an Arthur heard a faint yelp before the bandit doubled over in pain. The little dragon crawled out of the bottom of his breeches with a satisfied smile, blood painting her talons and mouth.

The few remaining bandits looked uncertainly between Arthur and the little dragon, debating whether this was worth the risk. The little dragon flapped her wings and glided over to Arthur where he stood stiffly watching the whole thing unfold before him. She landed on his uninjured shoulder and lovingly nuzzled his face before hissing at the bandits, her tail twining around his arm protectively. One of them shakily raised their sword towards her.

Her eyes narrowed and she opened her jaws, a funnel of fire billowed out towards the bandits who dropped their weapons and ran. Pleased, she settled herself on Arthur’s shoulder, Arthur wasn’t sure exactly what to do with this. Last time he had seen a dragon it was razing Camelot and had been much bigger. This dragon couldn’t be bigger than a well fed rat yet it contained all the fight of a full sized dragon.

Tentatively he raised his hand to it and gave its chin a scratch. The dragon purred and leaned into it. It purred. How such a creature had come from his cloak he couldn’t be sure, magic had to be involved, but he couldn’t find it in his heart to be truly fearful of her when she had protected him and Merlin. A groan of pain turned his attention back to his injured manservant.

“Merlin!” He cried and rushed over to his side. Merlin was not looking good, his face was pale and sweaty, his hair sticking to his forehead, and the blood stain on his tunic was steadily growing.

The dragon on his shoulder whined and glided down, landing on Merlin’s shoulder. She nudged his cheek, Merlin’s eyes fluttered open. Arthur allowed himself to breathe, Merlin was still alive.

“Come on, Merlin, almost there. Just hang on a little bit longer.” He said as he crouched down, throwing one of Merlin’s arms over him and helping him stand. Together they made the remaining trek back to Camelot with a new friend in tow.

[earlgreyinpajamas]

hi do you know any good merlin whump fics? maybe where arthur feels a lot of guilt or he causes merlins pain somehow? it's ok if no thank you

sacrifices (freely given; intolerable) by queerofthedagger (@queerofthedagger)

Well, the thing is that Arthur does not want to die. He wants countless nights like this, Merlin’s steady breathing solace against his side. He wants to find out if Merlin would let him tilt his head up, what he would taste like, beneath Arthur’s lips and his tongue and all the raving hunger. He wants the sun-soaked mornings and Merlin’s cold hands reaching for him, and he wants to never again see the red of Merlin’s blood well to the surface.

The thing is that, more than anything, he wants Merlin to be safe. Unfortunately, the reality of Arthur’s life has always been that the people he loves are safer the further they are away from him.

The Questing Beast injures Merlin, not Arthur. This changes nothing, and it changes just about everything.

~~~

the pain111!11!11!

2. stained with the colour of roses by TheCourtSorcerer (@thecourtsorcerer)

Slowly, he looked down. Arthur followed his gaze and inhaled sharply. Deep red spread out across Merlin’s blue tunic under one of his hands, wet and seeping onto his fingers. Blood. Arthur’s heart faltered as panic surged through him.

“You’re bleeding,” he breathed.

“I…suppose I am,” Merlin muttered in reply, his voice eerily calm. “Huh. My stitches tore.”

~~~

merlin here is injured over his protect arthur in secret business, which i think indirectly fulfills the arthur is the cause part of your request ++worried and panicky arthur for bonus

3. just a bump by TheCourtSorcerer (@thecourtsorcerer)

Blood gathered at his hairline, on his forehead. It was foreboding. Never a good sign. Arthur held his breath, the knowledge of his men watching as the only thing that held him together. He wouldn’t lose it in front of them.

He wouldn’t kill their hope by showing his own fear.

Or

Merlin gets injured when bandits attack and Arthur worries.

~~~

or arthur thinking that everything is his fault bc his beloved is injured

[inconsistentracoon]

Chapter 8 of A Servant of No Master is up!

The race is on to get a mortally wounded Merlin back to Camelot before it's too late.

--- Excerpt --- This must be the final stages he thought to himself. He wasn't sure if his brain was doing him a kindness or just being cruel, showing him hallucinations of what he wanted more than anything right now. Of Arthur holding on to him like he didn't want to ever let him go.

Because it didn't make sense for this to be real. The Arthur he knew, who had held a sword to his chest, sent him away, looked at him with such a look of hurt and disgust... that Arthur wouldn't look at him like this now would he? He wouldn't speak to him like this. Like he still cared for him. Like he didn't think he was a monster. 

But he was. And when Merlin asked him to stay with him he said

"I'm here Merlin, I've got you."

He was hugging him. Crying. That didn't make sense. Arthur never cried. It didn't make sense but Merlin hoped his fading mind would let him keep this moment. If he had to die at least he could imagine dying in a world where Arthur didn't hate him. 

[mysticsublimeperson]

NUMB pt2

(pt1)

Arthur had noticed something, he didn't quite understand what exactly, and that was frustrating.

Then Merlin cancelled the only date night the had been able to schedule in a month, because of the difference in their work hours, and Merlin spended less and less time with him at work...

So ditching him to go to a club?

Yeah... Arthur was pissed.

But then, "They have notice that I 've been absent, unless you want me to explain where do I spend my free time lately, I better go with them to get them off my back. We wouldn't want anybody knowing your secret right?"

And damn if that didn't hurt.

He knew Merlin wasn't really happy with the arrangement, he knew that he had been crossing the line lately. Going off at work, mostly to throw people off the track, but also to let out some of his frustration. But what could he do?

It was impossible to continue with his life as it was, and have Merlin. He would loose everything, his job, his family, his status, probably the flat too... His father was sure to ruin his life if he gave that step.

But for the life of him, he could not let Merlin go. He will never let him go willingly. Merlin was the happiest he had been in his life. Waking up next to him, he felt at peace, felt understood, felt seen. The way Merlin looked at him, like he meant something extraordinary, made him feel complete.

But then the little doubt creep in, What would happen if Merlin grew tired of this baggage?

No.

What will happen when Merlin grow tired of this situation?

Arthur felt his chest heavy with guilt. It was bound to happen, he knew that, he, himself, had made sure of it. He had enough scape routes in case everything went south, but now he found that Merlin could also use them, and that thought was the scariest of them all.

Merlin went radio silent after that call, and Arthur understood.

Then the next day he could not find him at the company, which was strange but maybe he was avoiding him, and Arthur understood.

He didn't answered any of his calls, or texts, and Arthur understood.

The dread expanding in his belly.

The following day he went to work with a heavy step and a heavier heart.

He knew that this whole circus was his fault, and therefore he had no right to complain or demand anything of Merlin, but that didn't make him feel better.

Merlin was still gone, so he went looking for him. And then Gaius told him that Merlin hadn't gone to work, he was sick, apparently. Gaius didn't know what exact illness but ... "he has been off lately, distant, cold, sad. And with all due respect, that you are keen on humiliating him on public lately hadn't really helped. I imagine it has to do with that. He didn't explain further, just told me he was going on sick leave"

Gaius spoke clearly, and with every word Arthur felt more shame. That dressing down was something he didn't know he needed.

Had he been so awful towards Merlin? Truly?

He bolted, didn't even told anyone, just went.

Went to his flat, and banged on his door, and called his name until the neighbors threatened to call the police.

It was useless.

The last time he spoke to him, he was going to go clubbing with his friends. He knew most of Merlins friends, basically because they were also Arthur's friends. But those friends... he knew them yeah, but he wasn't precisely close, Will, proper hated him, and the girl, Freya, was apprehensive around him, he didn't know why, but he hadn't particularly care up until that moment, he did not have any way of contacting them, not their number saved, not their social media profiles, nothing.

Shit.

The only thing he could remember was where Freya used to work, because Merlin had insisted on buying his coffee there for months just to spend his break catching up with her, at least until they happened.

He went there, his only clue, praying for the girl to be there.

He wasn't lucky, she didn't even had a shift that day. But he had obtained a contact info. He texted her.

And she answered vaguely, not understanding why Merlin's boss was asking for that kind of information. He didn't get much, but the fact that that whole ordeal was orchestrated by Gwaine.

So he went to Gwaine.

He was still hungover, or, more accurately, hungover again. And told him reluctantly that he had tried to get Merlin to relax, because he had been upset as of late. Arthur really ought to pay better attention, everyone had noticed this change in Merlin's behavior, so probably Merlin had been dealing with the burnt of having to lying to everyone.

"We just wanted him to unwind, It was fine... at least I hope so" Arthur's heart stopped at that very moment "What do you mean?" Gwaine was completely unaffected by his murderous tone and stare, and reentered his home trailed by Arthur "I don't know mate, he was having fun, he had been talking to this bloke on the floor, the seemed to have hit it off quite well... that was the last time I saw him, when we didn't heard from him in the morning, well we assumed he'd gotten laid, at least he had fun, but yesterday he told us that It didn't went well, but didn't explain" As he spoke his voice lost it's strength, and the insecurity he must have felt since that message was brought to the surface.

Arthur wanted to scream, to accuse, to point, to break, to do everything at the same time, but how could he? He stopped himself just before he started a shouting match with Gwaine, who was lost in thought in the sofa, because Gwaine was his friend too, and if he had known he wouldn't have done any of that.

His eyes started to sting from the sheer frustration.

Fact 1: Merlin's friends had taken him to a club, so he could cheat on Arthur, not that they knew that.

Fact 2: Merlin had gotten drunk, danced and left the club with another man, Arthur could not grasp how he felt about that just yet.

Fact 3: something went WRONG. WHAT THE HELL WENT WRONG AND WHERE WAS MERLIN? BECAUSE...

Fact 4: Merlin hadn't gone to work in two days, and no one knew where or how he was and the worry in his chest was clouding his mind and shit, he was crying.

He wiped his face quickly with the back of his hand, but couldn't hold back anymore so he struggled a bit saying goodbye to Gwaine and got out of there, didn't listen to whatever Gwaine was saying in the background.

He couldn't tell you how did he find Merlin, just that it was probably illegal and highly unadvised. But by that afternoon he was in front of that hospital door, with mixed feelings, a lot of guilt and one thought.

Hunith opened the door, Hunith was there. His gut twisted in different uncomfortable directions.

"Hunith?"

"Arthur? What are you doing here? Wait, let's talk outside, he finally managed to sleep for a bit" His throat closed off.

"I..He didn't show up at work" It was all he could manage, he could see her eyes harden.

"Yes, well, I am sure you can see he is in no condition to do so, now if you would kindly leave"

"Hunith" he was trembling "Can I see him?" he saw her hesitate.

"He doesn't want to see anyone" she ultimately answered a bit softer.

"What happened?"

"It's not my place to tell Arthur, I need to respect his decision, now more than ever" she said with finality "Look, I'll call you when he changes his mind.."

"IF.. if he changes his mind, you know how he is" he protested "Hunith I just..." he had to stop, before his voice broke "I need to know how he is, I need to see that he is ok"

"I know you are his friend Arthur" Arthur could hear his heart shatter "But this is... He is not ok" she said looking directly at him "He doesn't want to be seen like that, he doesn't want to be judged or pitied. He needs someone by his side right now, someone who would just be there with him, loving him, truly, boldly, despite everything else" Hunith broke down a bit and ran a hand by her hair, talking to him and to herself also "Don't get me wrong Arthur, I know you care for my son, you are a true friend, but you are not what he needs right now. I know the teasing and bantering is your... style, but I am afraid he cannot handle that. I'll call you if he changes his mind, but if not, please do respect his wishes"

She turned around visibly affected and went back into the room. Meanwhile Arthur had his world shaken to the ground.

[illustrate-her]

“I don’t understand, Gaius. There were no wounds.” “The magic,” Gaius says, resigned. “I always knew it was too much for him to carry.” He shakes his head, and Arthur has the distinct impression that the old man would be furious if not for his overpowering grief. “You knew?” Arthur asks, blankly. “Oh,” Gaius sighs, and Arthur realises that the old man is no longer listening to him. He watches as Gaius puts out a hand against the cold stone wall to steady himself, and begins to weep. “My boy,” he whispers, voice shaking audibly. “My boy.”

 Merlin sacrifices himself for Arthur against impossible odds. But that is only the beginning.

Note: I have written this as gen, but kind of…confused, gen. There is very real potential for this to be the beginning of an established romantic relationship between Merlin and Arthur, but that’s for you to decide!

Inspired by the song Exhale/Inhale by Aurora.

Trigger warnings: major character death (but not for long!), some gruesome imagery, some self-harm (end of chapter 2), and buckets of trauma. With a happy ending coming though, promise.