#YES THE SHIP TAGS ON THIS ARE NUTS

[seagreenstardust]

Live and let ship people. I don’t care what you like, go nuts, but please don’t flood my ship tag with reasons why yours is better. I have my own reasons and you raining on my parade isn’t going to change my mind.

Anyway bkdk are soulmates, canon supports bkdk more than any other ship, and I do not have to flood the other tags with this message to enjoy it. Thank you.

[mosscrab]

mgsv has so many literary references to books i have essays abt it kind of makes me.

[kibbles-bits]

any voxval fics you’d recommend?

Ah, yes, voxval fics... The one ship that finally made me cave and read explicit stuff. I am now numb to everything.

Everything.

I'll only be posting completed fics. Warnings, almost all of these are explicit. A couple also have Angel, you know, suffering.

And please mind the tags.

First off is a couple of favs that I always go back for a reread:

Corrupted Love by DoveFactory (Words: 149,495)

In a moment of blind desperation to one-up Alastor, Vox puts himself in a compromising situation that leaves him worse for wear. His state triggers something in Valentino who decides to change the nature of their relationship.

The title and summary of this is so misleading I thought it was going to be a dark fic but nope. The Vees are a bunch of goobers and Valentino always wins. I would scream about this every time it updated. I love the characterizations and their banter it almost made me forget there's sex in like every chapter. Honestly I wish there was more tags referencing the character/story stuff.

Virtual Reality by passthevoxcord (Words: 7,634)

Vox gets tired of his cybernetic biology being a barrier to his sex life, so he starts a new project to fuck Valentino in VR. Val will try anything once, but he has something else in mind.

This one ends up being so sweet I want to die. passthevoxcord's other fic, Only a Shadow, drives me nuts but its a WIP and hasn't actually gotten to the voxval yet.

choke behind a smile by gloriousmonsters (Words: 19,881)

"I'm not scared by extreme, although I doubt I'll find it interesting. What is it?" Valentino's eyes narrow slyly over his smile. "If you aren't scared, why do you need a warning?" Vox has everything under control in his new business partnership with benefits. His emotions, his unfortunate desires, the little mind games they play. Even Valentino himself. When Val offers an invitation to a special show he's performing, Vox knows it's a dare, and knows he has to take it, show Val that he can't be scared or destabilized. He has no idea of how deep under his skin the show will get.

Everyone's so normal. I love this Valentino. There's another Valvel fic that has the same Valentino I also recommend called bad girls go backstage.

Great Expectations by MarenRose (Words: 11,280)

“It’s his goal. Those three simple words. If he could get to hear them once, could let the reality of their meaning and spoken existence occupy his mind for only a few indiscernible moments, then maybe, Vox could learn to see the appeal of this god forsaken holiday. He might even learn to ‘love’ it too.” Or: Vox hates Valentine’s Days. His prick of a ‘wife’ is just too damn hard to please.

This miiiight have been the fic that made me Lock In on voxval? I'm not sure. It's sweet. Alastor is hilarious.

biting keeps your words at bay by Subedarling (Words: 1,511)

“You can’t hit me,” Valentino says. He’s practically vibrating with rage. “You’re not allowed to—you can’t hit me!” Vox sneers, cruel and mocking and hopefully masking the way his heart is breaking apart inside his chest. “Baby, I can do whatever the hell I want.” A decade into their partnership, Vox and Valentino have their first and last physical fight.

This might be the only non-explicit fic in this list. I am all for Val being the worst just because he's Like That. But I will not say no to an implied tragic backstory. I read this one a lot and want to die. Can I draw this. I want to draw this. Oh my god I have free time I can totally draw this...

And my other recs:

Just For The Record by PeppermintWalrus (Words: 13,795)

Vox is thrilled about his new film enterprise with his business partner, ready to build a lucrative empire for the denizens of hell to experience true cinema, in the only genre their depraved minds desire. There’s just one problem that he finds out too late; Valentino has never filmed porn before. Vox decides that some... hands-on teaching, is necessary to save their production.

Yeah you read that right.

a putrid feeling that i've addressed by spoondrifts (Words: 5,162)

They weren’t a couple because Valentino was pathologically noncommittal and Vox simply knew better. He tried the whole romance thing with a certain radio demon a few decades back, and he’d learned his damn lesson. Hell just wasn’t the place for that sort of cutesy bullshit. Also, he was pretty sure that Valentino was straight up incapable of love, which was both par for the course for Vox’s friendships and amazingly convenient—things couldn’t get complicated if there was nothing to complicate in the first place. Or: Full Moon, Vox/Val edition.

Haha I love pain. I lied, this is the second non-explicit fic.

Little Miss Hellion by DoveFactory (Words: 10,657)

Hell’s worst married couple spends a day of family bonding at a beauty pageant doing whatever it takes to make sure their daughter takes home the crown, because failure is never an option for the Vees. Pilot AU where Vox and Valentino are married and Velvette is their adopted daughter.

It's more Vees than voxval but they're married so.

The Art of Pimping by MarenRose (Words: 9,161)

Desperate to close a deal with one of the most lucrative investors in Pride, Vox does the unthinkable and pimps out Valentino for a one-time date. What could go wrong?

Val's attitude in this one is funny and Vox. Yeah. Vox made a mistake.

You Found Me by passthevoxcord (Words: 4,338)

Long before Velvette came along, it was just them. Vox and Valentino. Valentino and Vox.

Sobbing.

Something Less Than Dishonest by daphnerunning, Galiko (Words: 33,931)

He isn’t expecting the way Valentino walks, for some reason. Maybe it’s the extra limbs. Maybe it’s the wings. Maybe it’s the heels. Vox had skipped briefly through a few of the slut’s movies, for research, and isn’t expecting the way Valentino moves in person to feel so… Different. “…You must be my four o’clock,” he says, standing and offering a hand. Oh, shit, he’s huge. Valentino towers over him, easily would without the stripper heels. Vox is not afraid of heights.

Vox is so offensive in this it loops back around to hilarious.

Red Skies and Valentino by alternatedoom (Words: 86,050)

"Vox and I are special friends, doll. Go give him a kiss," Val says to the boy.

Angel does not have a good time. But the Voxval is nice.

before you go by xoTsundoku (Words: 4,426)

Before Alastor came into their lives, Vox and Valentino were happy. Maybe they still can be.

A Farewell to Ghosts by Accidental_Ducky (Words: 37,149)

"What do you think that is," Vox demands, pointing at the new guy. Valentino turns, eyes raking greedily over the man's body. He's gorgeous, skinny in a heroin chic way with big blue eyes and blond hair that falls just so across his eyes. "Hot." "Don't fucking call the ghost hot!"

The only human AU I've liked so far. Love the character interactions. Vox and Val are hilarious.

God I hope I didn't miss any. There's definitely some good WIP ones out there.

[midgardian-witch]

In The Abscence Of Control

(Alternative Title: Distance Makes The Cock Grow Harder)

Nathan finds out just how tightly you've wrapped him around your finger. Abscense makes the heart grow fonder or something, right?

[Part 1] | [Part 2] | Part 3

[Masterlist]

AO3

tags: established relationship | mommy kink | orgasm denial | orgasm control | phone sex | Nathan fucks an android (or tries to) | scent kink | sub!Nathan | Dom!Reader | Nathan is a brat (but what else is new) | using used underwear for masturbation | humiliation kink | female Reader with vagina

ships: Nathan Bateman/Reader

word count: 2.6k

Part of Fran's Mini Kinktober 2024

AN: big thanks to @my-secret-shame for being my beta reader for this 💙

This fucking sucks. 

How dare you leave him alone at home while you are galavanting on some tech conference he specifically told you he didn't want to attend. Which subsequently meant you had to attend it. Which meant he was going to be alone for a week. Alone in this giant fucking labyrinth of a place he designed himself. 

Why the fuck did he do that? Who needs this much space as a lone person? 

He's been staring at one line of code for over an hour without really looking at it. His focus keeps slipping away from his work and no amount of breathing exercises and fresh air can keep him on the task at hand. Nathan can't stop thinking about how he wanted you here, how he needed you here, how just your quiet presence alone would fix this. You always knew how to help him get out of his head. But now? 

Now he was left alone with his mind again. And he didn't even have any alcohol to numb himself anymore. Not that he wanted to drink himself into another blackout, hasn’t needed it in a good while. Better (though probably just different) coping mechanisms and all that.

There was one thing though. 

He hadn’t needed to use them in a while, not since you agreed to move in with him, but the thought became more and more appealing with every hour he was without you. The two of you had talked about the use of his androids before and while you weren’t thrilled about it you never outright forbid him from using his creations to blow off steam. He just hadn’t because even the tightest handcrafted synthetic pussy could not compare to the way his cock throbs when you pull his hair and shove his face into your perfect fucking cunt.

Nathan groans in frustration, his dick already painfully hard in his sweatpants. He really should stop thinking about fucking you unless he wants to come in his pants untouched like a fucking teenager. With the heel of his hand he presses down on his cock, trying to alleviate some of the pressure, shifting in his office chair awkwardly. Great, first his brain is in overdrive and can’t focus on the one fucking thing it’s supposed to and now all he can keep his mind on is fucking. Maybe he should have asked you to leave him in the cock cage while you were gone. Another twitch from his cock and the memory of how desperate he was for you when you had him all locked up making his head feel dizzy. That and all the blood in his body evidently rushing to his dick in record speed. 

Nathan is not so quietly cursing to himself as he gets up from his chair and starts pacing around his workspace. He could just activate one of his androids again and at least get rid of his boner in a less pathetic way than wanking to the thought of you digging your nails into that spot behind his balls that hurts like hell but makes him nut like he's a goddamn water fountain. 

He looks over guiltily to the closet where he keeps the deactivated android, the only one he kept. Just one time should be ok. You never told him no so that counts as a yes, right? But then again, he can imagine your disappointed face when you would inevitably find out and it makes him feel a little sick. Maybe he should just ask you, send you a quick text to see if that was something he was allowed to do. And how ridiculous would that be? Nathan fucking Bateman asking for permission to fuck his own creation?! 

He’s already standing in front of the closet, his hand reaching out to open the door as the gentle dread of future punishment creeps up from the back of his mind. Whether because or despite that feeling he opens the closet. He is greeted by the lifeless form of a woman, beautiful in a way he found attractive before you, something more out of a highly edited porno than reality. If she was an actual human the sight might have been eerie, the still features uncanny on something that looks so human and yet isn’t. Nathan is unperturbed by it, his fingers already poking and proding the synthetic skin for the hidden plate that protects the manual control switches. With an almost imperceptible click the plate raises from her neck to reveal the metal and circuits underneath. With the press of a button the android’s eyes flutter open. Nathan closes the panel and steps back. 

The android’s eyes follow him, carefully tracking his every move before she steps down from where she was kept in her dormant state. As she stands before him her gaze drags down his body and finally rests on the very obvious tent in his pants. He knows how he programmed her, the way she bats her eyelashes at him and rubs his cock through his sweatpants feeling almost stale, like days old soda that lost its fizziness. Once she had pulled his pants down, freeing his aching cock, he grabs her wrists and turns her towards his desk. There is no gasp, no sign of protest from the android as she lets herself be manhandled by Nathan. He grits his teeth as he bends her over the table and shoves a hand between her legs roughly. Unsurprisingly to Nathan she is already soaking wet, as he had programmed her to be; yet this instant readiness of hers does not make his hard cock twitch with interest like it used to either. Instead of letting those thoughts linger he takes his cock in hand, lining it up with her slick entrance and pushing into her with one harsh stroke. 

She’s tight, the diameter and squeeze perfectly calculated to have him come in just a few minutes, with just the right amount of slick to maximize the pleasure induced by friction. A perfect pussy created by his own hands.

Nathan fucks into the android wildly, no rhythm to be found. It's frustration rather than passion that drives him into her again and again. Every parameter is perfectly tuned to get him off as fast as possible. And yet even after minutes of animalistic rutting he is still hard as a rock and nowhere near an orgasm. With a frustrated huff he repositions the android and tries for a different angle. Her artificial pussy squeezes his cock just how he had always liked it, even the noises spilling from her throat are carefully crafted, reflecting his particular taste in porn. But no matter which angle he tries, how fast or slow he pumps into her, which parts of her he grabs and fondles, which holes he uses, there is no release to be found. Something is missing and not even the genius Nathan fucking Bateman could figure out what. He is so damn close but he just can't get there.

His mind is running a mile a minute thinking of all the combinations that usually make him bust in seconds but by now he has already tried everything. What the fuck is wrong with him? He has never had an issue coming before! Getting it up after a night of binge drinking? Sure. But this? It's making him crazy and the insistent throbbing of his cock is not helping him think any clearer. If you were here you could just-

Fuck.

An angry growl reverberates from his throat as he slams his hips violently into the android. It's you. He needs you. His cursing echoes through the room, his shoulders tense as he shoves himself off of the android. He slouches over to the bed, his hard cock bobbing against his stomach. With a frustrated huff he sits down on the bed, head in his hands. He can't believe it. You have dug your claws into him so deeply and he didn't even notice. And worst of all: you were miles away and he has the world's worst hard-on which he can't get rid of without you. Not in any satisfying way. 

He rubs his hands over his face, his gaze drifting over the room, the android still laying face up on his desk. If he had anything of yours maybe then he could get off. His eyes rest on the laundry hamper across the room when he gets an idea.

Is he really this desperate?

The twitch of his cock and the shuddering breath he lets out confirm his choice. Quickly he makes his way across the room and digs through the hamper. Even with the way his hands are shaking he finds a pair of your panties fast. 

“Fuck, the things you make me do,” he mumbles as he bring the used piece of clothing to his nose. It still smells like your pussy if only faintly but it's enough to make him groan. Pre-cum is gathering at the tip of his cock as he breathes in your scent. He holds your panties to his face with one hand while the other grips his cock tightly, gliding up and down frantically. This is it, this is what he needed - a tiny shred of your presence. 

His lips graze the fabric and he darts his tongue out to have a tentative lick. The taste is barely there but the sense-memory of your pussy on his tongue hits him like a train. What he wouldn't give to have you riding his face, to tell him what a good slut he is for you, only you. His cock is slick with his pre-cum just gushing out with every twist of his wrist. He’s so close; he can almost feel your nails scratching his scalp as you grind your pussy against his face. So close. So why the fuck can he still not get over that edge? 

He knows how these scenes usually end, with you whispering into his ear and with just one word you’d have him erupt. 

He crumples your panties in his fist, face twisted in frustration. Take a cold shower, that's what he should do. Just ignore the throbbing of his dick, get back to work and forget this ever happened. 

But he can't forget. And you will find out about this one way or another. And he wants to come so bad, his balls aching like nothing he has ever felt before. He doesn't know if this is worse than a week in the cock cage but he can't think clearly.

He looks over to his desk, his phone tempting him to call you. His android is looking at him questioningly. Nathan rolls his eyes and walks over. “Get back in the closet and turn yourself off,” he hisses and reaches for his phone, leaving your panties in its place. The android obeys immediately, getting off of the desk and stepping back into the closet he took her out of. 

His thumb hovers over the call button. What time was it for you right now? Maybe you were asleep and he would wake you. You’d be so mad, probably curse at him. Tell him how pathetic he was for disturbing you just to get his rocks off. What a perverted, needy fucking slut he is for you. A whine bubbles up in his throat and his other hand finds his cock again as he makes the call.

He’s stroking his cock as he waits for you to pick up. The call connects and his eyes roll into the back of his head as you answer with your name. “Mommy,” he whimpers, more pre-cum spurting from his cock. 

There is a second of silence before you reply. “Nathan? Baby, what's going on?” You sound concerned. He can imagine the way you're tilting your head right now, how your brow furrows in confusion as you try to figure out the situation. 

“You ruined me. Fuck-,” he gasps as he runs his thumb over the sensitive head of his cock, “Can't even get off without you anymore.”

“Nathan, did you call me just so you can jerk off?” you ask, annoyance evident in your voice. It made his knees buckle. “Yes Mommy. I’m sorry, Mommy,” he whimpers as he falls to his knees, “I’m so hard and I can't think and nothing works, not even the fucking android, and I need you.” He’s rambling, he can't help himself. It all spills out like a waterfall and with every word, with every small humiliation, he can feel himself getting closer and closer to his climax. “Is that so, baby?” He nods quickly before he remembers you can't see him. “Yes Mommy. Please, please I need to come.”

“Then why don't you?” you ask in a bored tone of voice. “I can't. I need…I need-” “What do you need, baby,” you coo, your words feeling like a soft hand caressing his head, “Tell Mommy what you need.” His hand is not enough, it's not right. Instead he grabs your used panties he had left on his desk and tightens it around his cock, fucking into it desperately. “Need you. Please, please tell me I can come, Mommy,” he whimpers, the rougher friction of your underwear granting him the perfect mix of pain and pleasure. There is a soft gasp coming from your side followed by a drawn out groan. “Oh baby, you need my permission, is that it?” even through this horny haze he can hear the desire in your voice, “Can't come without Mommy telling you you're allowed to?” “Yes Mommy. Please let me cum. I’m so close. So close.”

His pre-cum is staining your panties, the material growing darker with every slide of his cock. Maybe you’ll spank him for it once you're back. He hopes you will. 

“Asking for permission like a good boy,” you croon, “And begging so sweetly. How could I deny you, hm?” He’s babbling, begging, pleading, a non-stop flood of please spilling from his lips as his strokes get faster and faster in anticipation.

“Come for me.”

It's like a switch has been flipped, a bolt of lightning shooting down his spine and cock as it erupts, thick ropes of cum spurting from his cockhead. Nathan moans like a cheap whore as he spills his seed over his stomach, the floor and your thoroughly ruined underwear. 

“Fuck I love you. Don’t leave me alone like this again. Shit,” he pants, his whole body shaking from the intensity of his climax.

“We’ll have to figure out what to do with you the next time I am away for longer than a day then.”

Nathan hums affirmatively. 

“Maybe I should just keep you in the cage while I’m gone?” 

You sound like you're just thinking out loud, weighing your options, but Nathan reacts immediately. 

“Yes please,” he whimpers. He can hear your delighted giggle through the phone. “That was easier than I thought. Alright then. But you know we’ll have to talk about what happened in depth once I am back, right?” 

“Yes Mommy,” he moans softly, his mind stuck on being locked up for you again. “First thing we do when I return is get rid of that bot of yours though. Looks like it isn't any use to you anyways.” “Yes, whatever you want. Just please come back soon.”

He can hear the smile in your voice and it makes his heart beat faster. “I’m sure I can find a way to cut this conference short. I’ll be back soon.”

[osaka-lilac]

can you recommend any good lance posts or fic to read?

oh. oh. oh boy do i have some fic recs for YOU

if anyone who sees this has other recommendations, please feel free to respond in the tags or in the replies! hope you enjoy - and welcome to lance nation!!!!

(i will try to keep it not just a strollonso fic rec list, yes they're my main but i don't want to give a biased list to the masses. this is a lance fic list, not just strollonso.)

so. without further ado...

allie's lance fic recs (in no particular order)

steak and other strange situations | lance/yuki | G | @lil-shiro

-> bet you didn't expect a rare pair ship as my first recommendation, huh? frankly i love the characterization that ann has utilized here - just a guy that wants to get to know people. simple yet effective!

gone before sunrise | lance/fernando | E | zeolyte

-> oogh this one is a real kicker. i couldn't tell you why my stomach churns while reading the middle of this piece. you can really feel for lance in this one and yes it does end happy (as most if not all of the fics in here will have in common with), but if you are okay with explicit material, this is a must read.

baby hotline (please hold me close to you) | lance/esteban/mick | T | @shovson

-> woohoo my ot3!!!! we dont get to see a lot of this pairing per se, but we get a lot of seb & lance running the iconic baby hotline, an advice service lance starts to help others with anything they need, like mick and estie once did for him. lovely cameos from multiple drivers.

press enter and send it | lance/esteban | E | gothic_sevgilim

-> HOO BABY is this one HOT. office au in which lance is the sassy trainee of esteban, a minor manager at lance's father's company. the tension in here is NUTS man

between your collar and your jaw | lance/sebastian | E | @hurricane-heatt

-> if you know me you know how much i fuck with cowboys. THEN you should by association know that i would never pass up a cowboy au. THIS is what a cowboy au should look like. passionate, yet leaves you in a cloud of dust by the side of the dirt road, knowing you'll never see this man and his steed again.

clerestory | pierre/charles with a side of lance/fernando | E | @nobrakesdown

-> woah. i thought this was a lance fic list?? this is our wildcard for the list. lance only appears in this fic as a historical figure in the wild royal mystery pierre is studying as he heals from an injury after a major crash. frankly i just wanted to add this one because it genuinely is one of my favorite fics on the site and since it vaguely has lance in it, i will be including it

never too soon | lance/george | G | @userkritaaay

-> stressed unstoppable force george meets relaxed immovable object lance. this is just lance and george suffering together after singapore 2023. delightful

you're my fucking hero: the critic's review | lance/fernando | M | me. i wrote this

-> finally, who would i be on this site without a bit of self promo. the love labor of @no00000000's wonderful dirtbag au, in which lance learns to live and pursue his own passions after a run in with a rough criminal, fernando. it is formatted as a movie review for a hypothetical movie, inspired by the essays i would write while in my history of film course years ago.

[dootznbootz]

Can I ask why you hate OdyDio? I’m not super familiar with Greek mythology yet, and I’ve seen OdyDio as fairly popular so I’m curious about the other side lol (I personally don’t ship it just because I can’t imagine Odysseus with anyone other than Penelope tbh).

Because people are literally mischaracterizing both Odysseus and Diomedes to make it work and it spits in the face of what Homophrosyne means 🙃

And people are nuts about it in a way that pisses me off more than any other NOTP/crackship I've had before.

I guess this post, This one, and This one that people have done about vague fandom is a good explanation if that's all you want as I do rant here lol. NGL, I don't...really care if I'm being mean right now. Like block, unfollow, or ignore me. I wanna rant.

Btw, yeah, I'm being a "hater" but I'll tag right so you can block "#anti odydio" if you must.

I already didn't care for it in the first place, (I've vented about it before) as I agree, OdyPen are literally soulmates. To the point where they have their own WORD for their love. And yet people will fucking insist that "Oh, Odysseus and Diomedes are more compatible". WHERE?

The Odyssey is literally about him trying to go back home to Penelope and their son. And even in the Iliad, Odysseus mentions her. The Odyssey only mentions Diomedes three times and never once by Odysseus (once by Nestor, twice by Menelaus) so... that goes to show how Odysseus feels about him. 🤷 Kind of wild that Odysseus mentions his wife multiple times in both works but says fuck all about his war co-worker. Menelaus was the one who talked about Odysseus so warmly in the Odyssey as well. Y'all just don't "blorbo" him enough to pair him with Odysseus.

I was just neutral about the ship existing because it's like one of those absurd crackships to me but with how popular, fanonized, and just...With HOW people have behaved about it to me ;~;

Ofc, I'm a huge Penelope fan but even with Diomedes, you can't go into his tag without OdyDio. I'm not even joking. I'm sad I've had to block Diomedes' tag as well because people don't tag right AND don't apparently see him as more than Odysseus' "fling" ;~; (I mean at least Penelope and Diomedes can relate to the fact that it sucks that a lot of people are only caring about them because of Odysseus and not because of who they are. :/ )

Just in general, with my own reading of the Iliad, I...WHERE?! xD Where is the "ship"? They are comrades and they're very different from one another personality wise. Sure, they're a good team in combat but in life??? They are not "likeminded" at ALL.

They also have a fairly large agegap, Odysseus being one of the older kings while Diomedes is one of the youngest. I have them around a decade apart in my writing If you bring up pederasty, you will be smited. You're fucking disgusting.

They also have very little in common other than them both being Athena's pets (which um. Penelope is one too, you know?). Odysseus is a fucked up lil warrior trickster who loves his wife and child more than life itself while Diomedes is a young child soldier boy who is incredibly duty bound and war is where he feels most comfortable.

Diomedes would not put up with Odysseus' rambling about his family and Odysseus WANTS to talk about that. They're co-workers.

Diomedes is a younger king who looks up to all these older and more experienced kings. "Notice me, senpai" energy, and I love it!

And I really hate this "Male/Male relationships didn't 'count' back then so it's not cheating!" like, it may not have counted THEN but it should count NOW. Male/Male relationships have counted to THOSE COUPLES and it has ALWAYS counted. Like by saying that, you're already fucking undermining this supposed beautiful relationship by saying "It wasn't seen as real :3 ".

Like is it a real relationship, important and meaningful for both, in which yeah, Odysseus IS emotionally and physically cheating. (unless Pen and him have agreed to be Poly which yes! Go forth if that's the case! :D Give Penny a GF too!) or was it a casual thing that actual just meant "nothing", therefore OdyDio means nothing? WHICH IS IT?!

Like Admit and have fun with a crackship and then yeah, just do it because you find it hot. You don't have to pull stuff outta nowhere in order to have fun with a CRACKSHIP.

OR delve into the possible feelings of Odysseus feeling like he's betraying Penelope by falling in love with another or whatever! And if it's just "casual fucking", y'all. He's fucking married and deeply in love. Have OdyPen KNOW they can both be casual so she won't feel betrayed when he tells her "Oh yeah, me and this guy were fucking during the war. :) Yeah, I fell in love with him too! Wait, why are you mad at me?"

As from what I know, with kings especially, you did NOT interact with someone like that of the same rank without consequences of being ridiculed by the others. Odysseus is older and more respected than Diomedes, and Diomedes, who is TRYING to prove himself, would not want to be with another king as that would make people respect him less! If you want to write about it, at least delve into that possible JUICY type of drama that would occur with a CRACKSHIP relationship like this! It's okay to ship something JUST because it's a fetish y'all!

like I have no respect for guys who are supposed to be Wifeguys who don't hold true to that with a "eh but it's 20 years so I just gotta keep myself busy so I don't think about it and blah blah" OK so a man with no self-control? Wonderful. A weak willed, casual, irreverent cheater? Lovely. Fuck whoever that is. That's Not Odysseus. That's a fucking OC at this point.

That's just the Canon texts itself as to why I just simply disliked it. The fandom was... yeah ;~; made me hate that it even exists. (Not all! Some of y'all are incredibly kind and respectful of boundaries and I appreciate that! It's just that...Some were not.)

I mean I've had to deal with Aphobia surrounding my OdyPen and along with some asks/people in the past who were TRYING to make me write about OdyDio despite the fact that I've never liked it.

"Hey, I know you don't like this thing, but maybe THIS will change your mind. You have fun ideas so I wanna see what you do with OdyDio!"

Do you know how shitty that feels? 😞 To have people, WHO KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE SOMETHING, try to make you like it? By sending you links and "headcanons" that will "still work in your writing?" Sending in your asks, DMING YOU SOMETIMES.

That was like, half a year ago and thankfully it's stopped for the most part but I was in such a funk that I didn't even wanna write ANYTHING for a while.

Funny enough? I USED to have this "Oh, Odysseus and Diomedes are exes who fucking hate each other." idea where I aged up Diomedes to make it work, which I now no longer have because I realized I only wrote that way because I thought I HAD to in order to get people to be nice to me. ;~; Because if they're romantic at some point but simply don't click, maybe that'll be enough. To get people to just shut up and stop sending me things. (fuck the anon who sent smut last December. you suck.)

I changed that (now it's Greater Ajax who's his ex. lol. idk ask about it if you want.) because I realized yeah, it was making me unhappy and because I felt like I HAD to. ;~;

I also think it's weirdly because some Odysseus fans almost block out the Odyssey, you know, HIS story, and pretend like he didn't do everything to get home to his loved ones.

I've seen some ridiculous shit about Penelope as well. >:( like holy shit, misogyny everywhere.

"Oh, she didn't trust him and made him cry when she tricked him. She's abusive!" Literally one of the most stupid things I've ever fucking heard. She HAD to be sure it was him and when she knows for sure, she apologizes, explains, and kisses him. Kisses that he desperately and happily returns btw.

"After all Odysseus goes through from the Goddesses, he's afraid of women so he and Penelope separate." ...WHAT?! He literally wants to "embrace in love in their bed" as soon as they stop crying! And she holds him back only to know Tiresias' prophecy, which he DOES TELL HER BTW, before they DO "show love".

"Penelope becomes Odysseus' and Diomedes' surrogate!" ...Wow. Just wow. Love how people will talk about how ancient men in the past only saw women as "breeders" as though they're any fucking different with THIS fucking take.

It's annoying that I'll post a headcanon on tumblr and then the tags are "This but with OdyDio." or that people will often only like/reblog my ODYSSEUS shit and not my Penelope. ;~;

I love how people will be adamant about how "Odysseus never cheated" (true), and yet have him with Diomedes :/ Like at LEAST have OdyPen agree to have an open marriage before they're separated if you're going to pull that stance. (also give Penelope a girlfriend if Odysseus gets a boyfriend, you cowards.)

So many people for some reason only see Penelope for what she is for her husband and that's all. As though that's all she is. And as if Odysseus isn't as intertwined with her as she is with him.

Even with OdyPenDio. I've noticed that it mostly means "OdyDio + Penelope in the fujoshi cuck chair." I've only heard about ONE fic where it's actually about PenDio. (In which Author, you give me hope. It's not my thing but thank you for writing that. <3 The "Sidepieces" deserve love too.) It feels like people masking micro misogyny by forcing M/F couples to be throuples with the man they’d rather see the dude with. Or acting like the only way to enjoy a couple is to make them gay by erasing the woman entirely 🤮

I just... stdrfgyh ;~; I wouldn't hate it so much if people were nice about someone not liking it but the fact that I literally cannot escape it and because some people were just so pushy, I just negative memories I guess.

Either way, I love Diomedes and Sthenelus together :) whether as a QPR or romantic or whatever, those two are like bonded pairs that cannot be adopted separately.

Heck I'll say it. If you want a "casual dipshits who are kind of awful and toxic to each other" I think Diomedes x Achilles is a MUCH more fun and interesting crackship. I could go on but yeah. I'm done :)

[rhytmrocket]

hey all! so that post about po ship names got more support than expected, and i see at least two people would like to know the names i've come up with. so, here are some of my better works!

note that i don't ship really any of these that much, mainly cuz the only ship ive definitively decided so far that yes this is my yaoi is kaijoe, and also because a portion of these are crack-ish ships that i haven't seen anyone ship like at all (although i haven't checked out po ao3 yet so some of these might actually exist and i just have a blind spot). so if that fact degrades the quality of the names for you, sorry i guess

bulldozer, for bull/sandman. coming from bull, and to "doze" is to fall asleep, and also bulldozer is a word. kinda surprised i haven't seen this ship around, to me it feels like at least someone would ship it.

chocolate milk, for bull/doc. chocolate for doc, and bulls are male cows and female cows produce milk. this is a ship i'm pretty sure exists, but i haven't seen a name for it yet, so maybe this is already an accepted ship name for it like with the glass cannon situation. who knows

bullrush, for bull/hondo. it's a pretty obvious name, but it sounds really good so it's staying here.

redbull, for sodabull. redbull is a carbonated energy drink, which is basically soda. also bull in the name. i know this is one of the bigger ships in the tumblr po fandom, and i cannot believe no one calls it this. i can't have been the first person to come up with this! but everyone calls the ship sodabull so i just gotta live with it but now i'm breaking my silence!! sodabull should be called redbull. i mean maybe not in tags cuz that could get it mixed up with the energy drink but like you know!

popstar, for soda/macho. pop from soda pop(inski), and star because macho is a hollywood star. i feel the exact way about this one as i do with redbull-- it's a good fucking name but i haven't seen any macho/soda shippers use it and it drives me nuts

russian roulette, for soda/aran. soda's russian, and aran has a theme of luck, thus roulette. i haven't seen this ship much recently but scrolling back a while on the soda tag shows that this ship has existed. and i have not seen it be called russian roulette. what is it with soda ships and not reaching their name potential?

piña colada, for hippo/soda. piña colada is an often-alcoholic drink (soda has references to alcohol, and also his name used to be vodka) with pineapple in it (hippo has a lot of connexions to pineapples). ok, this ship i have not seen anyone ship (yet). this name i really just randomly came up with, but i like it and i think it fits and sounds good

dragon dance, for dragon/heike. this is mainly a reference to the move from pokémon of the same name. i am just about certain this ship exists, but i just! haven't! seen it yet!

pizzapie, for pizza/clown. pizzas are sometimes referred to as pies, or pizza-pies, and clowns are known for throwing pastry pies as physical comedy. ok guys hear me out! uh! uh. ok i got nothing, this ship just entered my mind one night and hasn't left since, like a prophet recieving a vision from a god except the god is dionysus wasted off his ass.

spaghetti and meatballs, for pizza/ref mario. i have no explanation for this one. i am so sorry. idk why so many pizza pasta ships come into my mind, that fucker has 0 canon personality

pineapple-shaped disco ball, for disco/hippo. i think the name's pretty obvious. i uh once heard the word cluster "pineapple-shaped disco ball" and immediately thought "lmao that sounds like a ship name for disco kid and king hippo" and promptly put it on my note of ship name ideas. i really like it for them because it's verbose and clunky, it sounds like something their collective braincell and a half would come up with.

oh and! if a name i have here already exists, please do tell! especially if it's redbull or popstar, those two drive me mad. clown.

[olderthannetfic]

Something that drives me nuts about two fandoms I'm in - yes, not one, but two, Lord help me - is people telling me I'm erasing a bi woman's sexuality by having her date men and telling me I'm erasing a bi man's sexuality by having him date women. Look, no one has to ship what I ship. Shipping is a preference based thing. Not your cup of tea? Valid. Saying a character who we know is canonically attracted to two genders can only date someone of their own gender? Invalid, ridiculous, baseless, baffling, and not something I can understand, let alone take part in. Bi people are not erased into straightness if they're not with someone of the same gender. Bi is not gay with a past history of straightness. Bi is bi. And the definition of bi contains more than one gender as a possible love interest.

I get not shipping my niche little OTPs. They're rarepairs, it happens. But the objection isn't based on canon, or not liking the rarepairs, or not liking the characters. It's based on the idea that if bi people aren't banging someone of their own gender they're being bi incorrectly and I'm writing them incorrectly. And 1. I'm not 2. it's clearly tagged, don't like don't read and 3. I hope they grow the fuck up because this is ridiculous.

--

[satoru-is-the-way]

The fact that I need more of Tenoch x Reader-

How about where there is a premiere where Tenoch is jealous to see Reader with OSCAR ISAAC?

A/n: OMG YESSSS YES YES YES YES AND YESSS FUCK YESSSSS COMING RIGHT UP ONG. Also this is more a bit of hints towards Hispnaic Latino reader x Tenoch/Oscar

TAGS: @shoxji @tian-monique @omgsuperstarg @angel-bi666 @sunfairyy @sunkissedebony97 @rkiversstuff @emma-frxst

{IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED IN FUTURE NAMOR/TENOCH FICS LET ME KNOW PLUS IF YOU DO OR DONT WANT TO BE TAGGED IN SMUT. MUST BE OVER 18+ FOR THOSE ANYWAYS.}

WARNINGS: NONE

Tenoch Huerta and you had been close since you began shooting Narcos: Mexico back in 2018. There was an instant connection that no one explained yet all could see. You two stayed in touch, meet up weekly, and spent a lot of time together. You landed the role of Namor's lover and queen of Talokan for Wakanda Forever. It was exciting to work alongside Tenoch once more. You had a major crush on the man yet kept it to yourself.

Oscar Isaac is another close friend, you both worked together in Star Wars: The Last Jedi where your character was his characters Poe Dameron's ex-lover yet second-best pilot the resistance had. You admit to the small crush developed for Oscar. By the end of the franchise in Rise Of Skywalker your characters have gotten back together in a long kissing scene.

So of course the fans had gone crazy for shipping you with Oscar and Tenoch. Wondering which an is going to be lucky enough to land you as their girlfriend.

Today was the premier of Black Panther Wakanda Forever. You were so excited about being in the Marvel franchise now. Including working with any great people. Right now you had arrives with Oscar Isaac. The press went nuts interviewing you both.

"Would your characters ever meet?" One of them shouted out.

"Love triangle even?!" Another added.

You and Oscar both laughed cheeks flushed.

"Oh, I hope so that would be a good romance." He winked before wrapping an arm around you. Tenoch had been with another tv station not too far away. How his blood boils noticing who you brought. Lupita and Winston both encouraged him to ask you out. Even as his date to the premiere. Yet Tenoch never had the confidence.

He matched his way over there just in time to hear the question and response by Oscar.

"I don't think that Namor would let that happen." Tenoch adds rather seriously. You smiled brightly and pulled Tenoch into a hug. "Hey you!"

"Hey. While admit the love triangle would be cool a king would never let his queen go."

Oscar rolled his eyes, he knew Tenoch liked you," You sure? Marc is pretty slick with the women. Much like myself." He adds just wanting to see Tenoch clench his jaw.

"Oh boys. Come on. Settle down. Let's hurry along and sign some autographs." You thanked the interviewers before leading the two boys, who currently are acting like man children, off to where the fans are waiting.

You watched the movie sitting between the two boys. Many emotions were shown during the screening especially how it felt seeing you and Tenoch as your characters together for the first time.

After the premiere you all headed for the restroom because it was a very long movie.

"You know I am surprised you and (Y/n) aren't together yet." Oscar comments washing his hands beside Tenoch.

"What do you mean? I thought she came with you as her date." He adds a jealous gaze in his brown eyes.

"No just as friends. But if you won't make a move then I will." Oscar turned the water off reaching for a towel.

"Don't waste your time, Oscar."

The men both walked out looking for you.

Winston and you were both laughing and making jokes. He specially was hammering you for the details of why Tenoch and Oscar were as the fans said 'Simping' over you. You explained your history with both men. And how wondering it was to have them so close together now. But in your heart, Tenoch was the one of you.

"So ready to go to the after party?" Oscar asked.

"But as my date." Tenoch glared over to Estrada's direction.

Winston smirked at (Y/n) who had to choose. "Well boys... I am flattered. Really am."

"Then go out with me." Tenoch whispered giving you his brown sugar eyes.

How could you say no?

[spirit-lanterns]

YES EMBRACE THE BRAINROT THINK OF THE POSSIBILITIES

I feel like we would find out about the whole shipping thing because we would see our name trending on twt and be like 😯... which then results in a bit more digging

Reader would then probably either:

1.) Be oblivious ("wow, our fans must really like our friendship! 😊" we say while watching a very obviously romantic edit in which it has one of our costars literally gazing at us with the most adoring eyes)

Or 2.) Be very amused, and decide to fuel the shipping wars even more (ex. Liking/reposting a ship edit of one costar on purpose but then on the same day openly flirting with another costar online 💀💀 I like to think that whenever we're bored we like to search up "team [insert ship]" and giggle to ourselves watching both sides fight to the death while knowing full well that we caused this 😭😭)

.. also not to even mention the hsr woman's reaction to all of this.. I feel like some would be too embarrassed about the situation to interact with that side of the fandom and end up blocking every single tag about it, and then we have others who have an entire folder of every single edit (of the ship or of just us 🤭🤭) and have a secret account where they like to engage in shipping arguments (tho I feel like kafka just uses her main account no shame at all 💀💀)

OUGHHHH THESE ARE ALL SUPER GOOD IDEAS ANON 💕

I’d like to think that the Reader is a bit of a tease and is very aware that her fans go crazy with the amount of tension she has with so many female colleagues. After seeing all these romantic and cheesy edits with various costars from films or red carpet events, she decides to fuel the fire by like, subtly grasping the hand of Serval, or making a kissy face towards Himeko in an attempt to fluster her.

Your fan base would go wild over these scenes, and any footage of you with any of your costars goes viral in a matter of minutes. Not to mention if any of your costars retweets/comments under these videos like “Wish Reader was holding my hand instead 👀” Ough, your fandom goes nuts! :O

And of course, like you said with Kafka, she seems like the type to openly like and comment under your #TeamKafka edits and act all nonchalant like “oh yeah, Reader and I had a blast on this set. Can’t wait to work with her again 💕” and the use of heart emojis has everyone screaming…

[chemicalarospec]

tag game: 9 people you'd like to get to know better

thank you!! @pomegranates-and-onyx and @lowoliet!!! <3 I'm missed doing these tbh. I reordered the items so the sequence makes more sense xoxo

Favorite color: I usually say purple but I don't really feel that strongly

Relationship status: lmaoo I'm aro (greyro-ish?). I actually have long thought I would like to fake-date/date for fun, but just the other day went "I still haven't kissed anybody and I know plenty of ppl have a 1st older than me but tbh I don't think I ever will". Other than that, I've got a few friends I really like, a few friends I kinda don't, and some people in between. Solid nuclear family tho 👍

Currently consuming (eating, by the looks of the trend): Waiting on a response from a friend to see if her cookies (mint & chocolate) are tree nut-free. I hope I can eat them; they look great.

Last song: "Capital M-E" by Taking Back Sunday (I cheated a little b/c last night I listened to a bunch of random songs lol)

Current watching: Dan and Phil? Hbomb's latest video? theoretically, Death Note, Cunk on Earth, and Akira and Akira.

Last movie: Die Hard haha

Three ships: lawlight, tntduo … hm, Arthur/Eames from Inception is a favorited Ao3 tag I do regularly go back to

First ship: Not *too* sure either but I think it HAS to be Snowbaz b/c of the Fangirl -> Tumblr blog stalker thing & that book introducing me to fandom (whoops, that 'thing's not universal knowledge... after Fangirl I scoured Rainbow Rowell's blog which led me to gingerhaze.tumblr.com (he did the cover art) and b/c I couldn't read Nimona online I read his blog instead. b4 that I only went to youtube.com and minecraft.net) WAIT NO. I've always considered genderswapped Johnlock (SheJane) to be my first ship hahaha. (yes, it had to be genderswapped. reality was different back then)

Currently working on: sooo *twirls hair* there's these Hamlet scene analyses (plural)... that were due today.... also some Calc I think... my portfolio for a writing contest... Blind Justice Light Yagami drawing, if the motivation holds. And my Death Note fics I listed here :D

tagging @detective-horse-girl @l3mon-boy @cmstyles19 @sophaeros @i-could-bee-an-angel & seconding @drfurter well @novaliae I know you pretty well but you too of course :) no pressure to anybody if you'd rather not do it tho! & feel free to join in the fun and let me know u would like to foster mutual affection :D

[skellymom]

UNTITLED FIC SNIPPET

CROSSHAIR x READER NON GENDER

Background: Crosshair brainrot stuck in my head. Reader helps The Batch rescue Cross, Omega, and Tech from Mt Tantiss only to get separated from the group and have to make their escape...then losing track of everyone for a long extended period of time. Reader and Cross have navigate living with each other on the stolen Imperial ship with the hope you can find your clone family again.

Word count: 325

No warnings, just angst and fluff

The open air market on some back water Outer Rim moon provided a distraction. The textile stand caught your eye. Beautiful scarves...you picked up a jet black one with fine silver metallic strands running through it.

"Good choice. It compliments your hair." The elderly shop keep stepped from behind a long quilt hanging behind the counter.

"Marv! Are you flirting again?" An older woman approached playfully teasing her husband.

"Now why would I do that when I have you, my sweet Meileroon? Besides, here's their partner now."

Crosshair sauntered up to the counter, amused at the comment.

"Hello honey" He teased.

You rolled your eyes, ignoring his "greeting." "What do you think of this scarf?"

"Hmm, not really my style." Cross reached down to pull another from under the pile. "Now this one..."

This scarf was rusty red with fine intermittent off-white paired stripes dispersed through it. Crosshair draped it around his neck. "What do you think?"

The blood drained from your face.

"No..." You dropped the scarf and hurried away from the stand.

*************

Cross caught up to you a few moments later...still wearing that damned scarf.

"Care to explain?"

Grabbing the fabric in your fist. "That's HIS scarf...NOT YOURS!

Cross softened. Not a trace of snark on his face. "You were in love with Hunter?"

"We are STILL in a relationship, Crosshair! Just because Hunter and I are apart doesn't mean that ended."

Crosshair stared directly into your eyes with such an intensity...it was difficult to keep eye contact.

"So...I complicate those feelings." It wasn't a question. He didn't need to ask. He KNEW.

You noticed his eyes changed from brown to grey in this perfect light. The light of the sun setting on this backwater moon. Almost the exact color gray of his brother's eyes.

You sighed deeply, letting go of the scarf. Your hand dropping to rest, open palmed on Crosshair's chest.

He stepped closer, placing his warm hand over yours...

**************

Yes...I have several other fics that I MUST WRITE more chapters to/finish...but this MAN...what is happening to me??? Dammit Crosshair...you Silver Vixen...haunting me with your snarkiness and slutty skinny getaway sticks...

...I've got the fever...FOR MORE CROSSHAIR!

PLEASE like, comment, and/or REBLOG!

@fionajames @thecoffeelorian @genericficerblog @crosshairs-right-nut @arctrooper69 @littlefeatherr @askyourfox

I need to tag more people, but wanted to rush this out before leaving for Tuesday Trivia Night with friends! PLEASE message me or let me know if you want on the taglist! Thanks!!!

[cozylittleartblog]

ok i can't find any of the posts but hi if you're here from twitter here's a crash course of tumblr etiquette

reblog! reblog reblog reblog. if your post count is lower than your likes count you're doing it wrong. this is the website of having interests so reblog shit u like, we even have a tag system so you can organize things and find them again later! post limit is 250 posts daily, go nuts. edit - also, there is no algorithm here. we spread things ourselves or they don't get spread. Reblog!

change your icon from the default and have SOME kind of bio. there are bots around here. empty blogs get blocked by most people.

it is 400% ok to reblog old posts. yes even posts that are years old. we can turn off reblogs here, if someone didn't want you reblogging a post they wouldn't let you. you can reblog things multiple times in a row, even. if you want to put Cursed Pikachu Man (you'll likely get acquainted with him) on your follower's dashboards 12 times in a row nobody and nothing is stopping you.

post tags are for talking and rambling as much as they are organizing things, but keep in mind that tumblr only tracks the first 20 tags. so whether you are making an Original Post or Reblogging Something For Later, put your important tags first AND THEN ramble. the tags are also very long, 139 characters i believe. Per Tag. cough cough and creatives Really like it when you say stuff in your reblog tags cough cough

settings > dashboard > preferences. best stuff first? turn that shit off. your dashboard is now chronological and you can easily scroll to wherever you left off last. unless you follow like 500 people in which case lmao rip

6. you can send people both direct messages AND asks - DMs work like they do on any website. Asks are like sending somebody a piece of fan mail they can respond to publicly, or privately if you don't send it anonymously. Do not use the anonymous feature to be mean.

7. you do not need to censor words here. say kill. it's ok.

8. there is a blacklist feature. you can blacklist both entire tags, and words from posts. settings > account, it's under "content you see". if you don't want to see something you can get rid of it forever instead of complaining. enjoy.

9. if you make things: tag fandom, characters, and ships if applicable. add any medium or blog organizational tags after that. add spoiler tags if relevant. this all goes in the Tags bar at the bottom of the post, NOT in the text content of the post itself. ez pattern to remember.

feel free to add on fellow tumblr elders we need to get the newbies acquainted

[yennefer-of-vengerbergs]

Elven Storm - Chapter 3 - Rising Tensions

General fic information: Rating: E

Pairing: Astarion x Syanna (The Dark Urge OC)

Summary: Syanna knows nothing of her life from before waking up aboard a Nautiloid ship. All she knows is that there is a tadpole burrowed in her head and that she needs to get rid of it. And maybe her newfound companions can prove to be useful in this endeavor. Or maybe she grows to be a different person, someone who is capable of kindness, of overcoming her own nature, of valuing the friendships she found. And maybe, she and Astarion learn how to love and be with each other along the way too.

Overall fic tags (will be updated as more chapters are posted): Astarion/F!Durge, Canon compliant, Canon typical violence, During canon, Post-canon, Act 1 spoilers, Act 2 Spoilers, Act 3 spoilers, The Pale Elf spoilers, The Urge spoilers, Explicit sexual content, Mentions of Astarion's trauma, Appearances from the other companions

Genre(s): Adventure, Romance, Smut, may include angst and comfort at times

Divider from here

Read below or on AO3. Comments are appreciated so please feel free to leave them 💖

<- Chapter 2

Syanna was exhausted, whatever poor excuse of rest from the previous night, clearly not enough after the events of the previous day.

She even cursed Gale out when, as promised, he woke everyone up ‘bright and early’, after having made a modest breakfast consisting of porridge with some fruit, nuts and honey, as well as coffee. How he had the energy for that was beyond her. 

Not having nightmares the entire night might help with that.

As she ate her food and sipped her drink, her thoughts went back to her predicament. Although the tadpole did worry her, she was more concerned by whatever was happening in her own mind. As far as she could tell, the two were unrelated, seeing as the others of the group were not experiencing anything similar. 

Unless they were very good at hiding it, but she doubted that was the case. 

Still, it might prove worthwhile to ask everyone else what their thoughts were - at the very least, it could give her some ideas on how to approach her situation. However, regardless of the potential usefulness, she would need to show some subtlety when doing so, seeing as she was unsure just how much she could trust everyone else just yet. And if they were even remotely smart, they would be thinking the same about her.

They were definitely an odd group, now that she thought of it more. 

There was Shadowheart, who seemed suspicious of everyone, and who preferred to not say anything about herself, playing it off as being mysterious. She did strike Syanna as a proverbial pot-stirrer as well, what with how she tried to insert herself in conversations, or how she seemed intent on making it seem that the others were not as trustworthy. It had been apparent on the ship, when she had immediately seemed against Lae’zel, and it seemed even more so when she had started to tell her that Astarion shouldn’t be trusted. 

Then, there was Astarion himself. He claimed to be a magistrate from Baldur’s Gate, but that seemed to contradict with how he was adept at things such as fighting, lockpicking and even disarming traps. She also couldn’t understand just why he thought that they should find someone who could control the tadpole, not remove it. And, how could she forget, there was also the matter of him throwing her to the ground, holding a dagger to her throat when they met. 

Gale, on the other hand, seemed to be the most easy-going of them, if a little pretentious. Funnily enough, as much as he seemed to enjoy talking, he too seemed unwilling to share much about himself, other than to say he was a wizard who ‘valued his privacy’.

So yes, maybe there was reason to be cautious around them.

Still, it was ironic, really. Everyone else was reluctant to talk about themselves and there she was, not able to say, to remember even the smallest detail about herself. 

Her thoughts were interrupted when Shadowheart began to speak.

“So, where are we headed?” she asked

Before Syanna could answer, Gale had already interjected.

“Perhaps it would be wise to continue searching the Nautiloid crash site and its surroundings. There might be other survivors, including the Githyanki woman that Syanna mentioned.” 

He truly did talk too much sometimes.

Shadowheart raised a quizzical eyebrow at the wizard’s answer, trying to mask her reaction otherwise. 

“Is that so? Is that part of the ‘next steps’ that were being discussed last night?” she gave Syanna a pointed look as she asked her questions about the group’s plan. 

“It’s a valid step, all things considered.” Syanna looked just as pointedly at Shadowheart. 

“Really? How so? I’ve told you before, she's a dangerous company to keep.”  

Syanna couldn’t help but sigh. “And she also seemed to know plenty about our condition. Is it that much of a stretch to think she would also know of a way to cure it?”

Astarion and Gale watched the two women, the former intrigued, amused even, while the latter seemed more concerned by the situation. 

“Are we certain that a potential argument or conflict amongst ourselves is the best course of action currently, given our predicament?” the wizard asked both women, in an attempt to smooth things over between them. 

“I think the better question would be if the best course of action is to look for someone dangerous, instead of a healer to help us.” Shadowheart bit back.

Clueless fool, as if there isn’t somebody dangerous right in front of her. Perhaps she would like to see just how dangerous…

No, not that again…

She wouldn’t…she couldn’t…

She shook her head and willed the intrusive thoughts away, trying to focus once more on the conversation that was happening - Gale seemed to be saying something to all of them.

“...All I am merely suggesting is that we keep an open mind - after all, it does make sense that the Githyanki people could potentially have a way of removing our tadpoles, seeing as they are known for their fight against mind flayers.”

“Fine. But don’t be surprised if she will be all too eager to leave us to our fates. She was already willing to leave me to die back on the Nautiloid.” Shadowheart replied, frustration at the outcome clear in her demeanour. 

With their goal in mind, the group had set off for the day. As Gale had suggested, they made their way back to the Nautiloid crash and its surrounding area, looking for any signs of survivors. Hours had passed, with not much to show for it, except for finding a few more supplies for their camp. 

At one point, however, they had stopped, staying out of sight, listening to a conversation that was happening nearby. 

“You think it’s dangerous?” a woman had asked.

“Of course it’s dangerous. One of them carved up Zorru’s whole squad.” the other one, a man, answered. 

“So let’s leave it.”

Syanna moved slightly, trying to get a better view of what was happening, and of who, or what, they were talking about. As luck would have it - and to her surprise - she saw that the subject of the two tieflings’ conversation seemed to be Lae’zel herself, who was trapped in a suspended, make-shift, cage. As far as she could tell, there weren’t any other people there, apart from the two tieflings discussing what to do with her.

“And let the goblins have it?” the man had asked, “No. We take it to the grove.” he then continued, not waiting for an answer. 

Well, that wouldn’t do.

Oh no, it wouldn’t do at all. Why not show them what happens when they meddle in others’ affairs like this?

Pushing the thought away, Syanna instead decided to approach the pair, the others following her. They hadn’t noticed the group getting nearer just yet, still focusing on their conversation. Lae’zel however, did see them, a fact made immediately clear by how her mind reached out to Syanna’s, along with everyone else’s in the party. 

“Get rid of them.”  Lae’zel …spoke? Thought into their minds? A hot-white stare was aimed at them as she waited for a response. 

It was Shadowheart who reacted first. 

“Why should any of us help you? That cage suits you much better.”

Lae’zel’s stare only intensified. 

“I know what grows inside you. And I know of a cure. That is reason enough.”

There it was, the confirmation that Syanna - and the others - needed. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll get them out of here.” Syanna replied, her words flowing through to Lae’zel. 

Continuing their approach, the two tieflings finally noticed the group. 

“Oh, it seems we have guests.” the man said, referring to the party in front of them. 

Syanna nodded in greeting before speaking. 

“It’s lucky we got here. This person-” she nodded towards Lae’zel, “-is dangerous. You should get out of here and leave it to us. We’ve been looking for her for a while now.”

“Believe me, we know how dangerous her kind is. I assume she’s done something to you, wronged you in some way?” 

Well, wasn’t he just offering up ideas for her deception. 

“In a manner of speaking. Let’s just say it’s a personal matter.” 

There. Make it seem as if it’s a personal vendetta or somesuch. 

After briefly pondering her reply, he nodded in understanding. 

“I see.” he then looked at the woman that was with him, “Let’s go. We need to check out that blast.” 

That caught Syanna’s attention. 

“A blast?”

He looked at her curiously. 

“You didn’t hear it? Shook our camp good, so we came for a look.” was his answer. 

She briefly wondered if the blast he was referring to was actually the Nautiloid crashing. It certainly seemed plausible enough - it most definitely was something that had attracted attention before and would probably continue to do so for some time. What was worth attention though was the camp he had mentioned - perhaps they also had a healer, which would appease Shadowheart, at least to a degree; or at the very least, it would allow them to trade for any other supplies and gear they may have needed, but lacked. 

“Would you mind pointing us in the direction of that camp?” she asked, “A few of us require a healer.” Syanna then added. 

“Of course. Go north-west and ask for Nettie once you find it. Whatever your wound, she can mend it.” 

The tiefling woman then spoke.

“And be careful. There are goblin traps everywhere.” 

Syanna thanked them and watched as they left until they were out of earshot. Once satisfied they were far enough, she turned towards Lae’zel, who seemed impatient. 

“Enough gawking. Get me down.” she demanded. 

Syanna raised an eyebrow. 

“Just like that? No ‘please’? No ‘thank you’?”

Lae’zel frowned, her reply defiant. 

“Never.”

Although amused, Syanna did take her bow, ready to shoot the trap down.

“You might want to brace yourself for a fall.” she said, aiming an arrow. 

Lae’zel simply nodded and Syanna loosened the arrow, the trap immediately falling and crumbling. 

“The tadpole hasn’t yet scrambled all your senses. Auspicious.” Lae’zel spoke, after landing on her feet. “But the longer we wait, the more it consumes. My people possess the cure for this infection. I must find a crèche; you will join me.” she then continued, confidently and with certainty that the group would follow her.

“And what exactly is a crèche…?" Syanna asked - she was not about to throw herself head first into a situation without finding out more about it, regardless of how promising it may have seemed.  

“It is many things. A hatchery, a training grounds, a shelter.” she explained briefly, “Githyanki protocol is clear: when infected with a ghaik tadpole, we must report to a ghustil for purification.” she then finished. 

“And that means…what exactly?”

“It means that the ghustil - the crèche’s principal healer - will take us to a zaith’isk purification device, which will cure us of the tadpole.” Lae’zel clarified. 

“You seem certain that this is our only path forward for a cure.” Syanna noted.

“It is. I understand much beyond your comprehension.” Lae’zel seemed to bristle, “You’d do well to observe more and question less. Unless you would prefer the alternative.” she then began to enumerate what would happen if they did not seek out the crèche, “Fever. Memory loss. Then you start to hallucinate. Your hair falls out,” she gestured towards her head for added effect, “and you bleed from every orifice. Your bones will change form. Your jaw will split, to allow room for four great tentacles.” another gesture, this time towards her jaw, mimicking mind flayer tentacles, “All skin will turn to gore and be shed to reveal new flesh underneath. Then you have ceased to exist, and a mind flayer is born.”

It truly was a loathsome fate. One which Syanna intended to avoid. She nodded, and then noticed that Lae’zel seemed pensive. 

“The first symptoms should have long since started. That is what puzzles me.” 

“You’re worried we haven’t started to change?” Syanna asked, momentarily confused, “As I see it, this is good news.”

There was her own memory loss, of course, but it seemed…odd. First of all, the others hadn’t mentioned anything about experiencing such a symptom. There had been no fever. Certainly no hallucinations. And if they had all been infected more or less at the same time, it would have made sense for them to start experiencing symptoms roughly around the same time as well. And yet…nothing. 

“Yes, if you give it no further thought.” Lae’zel placed emphasis on each word, as if mocking Syanna. “But anomalies lead to surprises. Bad surprises.” she frowned, as she continued to speak, “Besides, what hasn’t happened may yet come to pass.”

Syanna sighed. She certainly had a point. 

“Very well. We’ll look for this crèche.”

Lae’zel nodded.

“You have made an ally from crèche K’liir - few know such fortune.” she paused, addressing everyone else in the group, “Call me Lae’zel.” 

Shadowheart made no effort to hide her displeasure.

“I’ll trust your judgement -” she looked at Syanna, “- but I won’t trust her. Not until I’ve gotten the measure of her.” she glanced back towards Lae’zel, frowning.

Barely a few moments after recruiting Lae’zel to their common cause, and already there were problems. More and more, her impression of Shadowheart did not improve.

“You’ve a sharp tongue, elf. Would that your mind proved its equal.” Lae’zel clearly did not intend to accept the comments without biting back.

“Half-elf. I suppose the finer details are lost on a creature like you.“

Lae’zel chose to ignore her, opting to address Syanna again. 

“Come. The horned ones mentioned a camp. One there - this Zorru - has seen githyanki. A crèche must be near. We will ask this Zorru where he has seen my kin.”

Naturally, the next step had been to set out to find the camp that the tieflings mentioned, something which could not come sooner, seeing as things had quickly gotten tense, particularly - and unsurprisingly - between Shadowheart and Lae’zel. The former had immediately taken to antagonising the latter, making several comments which aimed to irritate and insult. As for Lae’zel, she returned the jabs just as well, even offering up thinly veiled threats. 

It was quickly becoming tiring, for almost everyone. Astarion, on the other hand, seemed positively pleased by everything that went on. 

“I am going to enjoy the latest addition to our little group - Lae’zel is delightful. In a very ‘look at me twice and I’ll dismember you’ kind of way, of course.”

As odd as Syanna found it, she couldn’t help but be amused by his reaction, enjoying the slightly chaotic nature he seemed to have. 

“I don’t know, it might be more than twice - after all, she hasn’t dismembered Shadowheart yet.” she quipped. 

“Hah! We’ll just have to see how long it takes for it to happen then.”

She had to admit, their conversation certainly seemed to lighten her mood. 

“As long as they do it outside of camp. Imagine having to clean that up.” she wrinkled her nose at the idea.

Astarion laughed at that. 

“Oh yes, all that blood would be an absolute nightmare to get out of everything. It wouldn’t do at all.”

“Gods forbid we get our clothes stained with it too.” she added, grinning. “Don’t get me started on getting rid of the body parts.”

In all fairness,Syanna found that it was nice, being able to be a little silly, even if just for a moment, given everything that had happened. Even if it was on the morbid side. 

Astarion certainly didn’t seem bothered by it. 

“Urgh, no, definitely not. Who knows what manner of beasties that will attract to camp. Then we’d have that to deal with. And who knows how long that would take.”

Eventually, spirits had calmed somewhat, Lae’zel and Shadowheart settling on ignoring each other for the time being, as they continued heading north-west. 

Everyone else had been making conversation, Gale in particular taking an interest in Githyanki culture, asking Lae’zel plenty of questions, which she answered in a detailed and matter of fact manner. 

Everything was going as well as it could have, until they heard shouting up ahead. 

Approaching carefully, they noticed a group of people, in front of a closed gate, panicked and poised for a fight. 

“Open the bloody gate!” one of them, a man, had shouted at someone - a tiefling, as far as Syanna could make out -  above them. 

“Nobody gets in. Zevlor’s orders.” he shouted back.

Exasperated, the other man spoke again.

“That pack of goblins will be on us any second!”

Another tiefling had appeared. 

“What’s going on?”

“Goblins are on our bloody tails! Open the gate, Zevlor. Now!”

“You led goblins here?” Zevlor seemed angry at that. “Where is the druid?”

“Please! There’s no time!”

They all heard them before they saw them: horns resounding, worgs snarling, goblins and bugbears appearing and finally, arrows being fired at the gate, aimed at those manning it. Some had even noticed Syanna and the rest of the group, and had immediately attacked them as well. 

Nothing is ever easy, is it?

No, why would it be.

The group braced themselves, ready to fight. 

[tloupride]

The Last Of Us Pride Event: Calling All Fandom Creators

Are you involved in the TLOU fandom and have a creative hobby? Are you actively involved in the fandom and want to spread the positivity? Do you wish you could be more involved but don't know where to start?

If you answered yes to any of the above, or you're simply just curious about what a TLOU pride event could entail: the admins of this account (@consultingzoologist and @roselees) invite you to join in the fun ❤️🌈

This event encourages creativity of all types, and throughout the rest of Pride Month and beyond we will be providing themed prompts for the community to use. You're welcome to use as few or as many as you would like, and to interpret them however you see fit; the blog will also be open to submissions, and any prompt ideas are welcomed too!

Need ideas? Any creative response to the prompts would be lovely, but to name just a few examples:

Fanfics 📝 and Podfics 🎧

Whether you write long form works or exclusively one-shots, canon complaint or entire AUs - any of the prompts can be used for TLOU themed fan works.

Fanart 🎨

Do you draw digitally? Or do you hand paint your art? Either way - any of the prompts can be interpreted into art works, however you see fit.

Moodboards ✨️

A fandom classic and a lost tumblr art; how do the prompts make you feel? How would these translate into pictures?

Playlists 🎵

Like the above, what songs do the prompts make you think of? Compile a playlist of what pride in TLOU means to you, or maybe the vibes a certain character gives you.

Meta / Discussion 🤔

Maybe you just want to discuss the relationship between pride and the plot of the game, or the importance it has within the show; whatever the prompt makes you think of, we'd be happy to hear it!

Headcanons ✒️

Do you have headcanons to do with pride and the show? Now is the perfect time to share!

Of course all of these are just a guideline, if you have any other ideas to fulfill the prompts, we'll be happy to see them!

All shared fan works should be tagged with '#tlou pride exchange', and they'll be reblogged and shared here. Let's spread some more positivity within the community, and celebrate all of our brilliant creators! ❤️

(The work doesn't have to have been made exclusively for this event, either. If you have a queer themed fanwork for TLOU you want to share, regardless of when it was made, just tag us for a reblog!)

And now for the prompts...

Coming out

Queerplatonic relationship

Platonic soulmates: what platonic relationships from canon are meaningful to you?

Domestic bliss: write a fic or draw some art about your favourite pairing, romantic or platonic, enjoying some much deserved peace.

Queer romance

Queer joy

Found family: would it be Pride Month without the family we choose? Maybe talk about the meta of the trope, or your favourite instance within canon. Or how it comes into play in an AU.. the possibilities are endless!

Rarepairs: pick a pairing you wouldn't normally write/edit for, and see where the inspiration takes you! Maybe you only write TessJoel... why not try your hand at Ellie/Dina? Or perhaps you want to engage with a new platonic ship; why not take two characters that barely interact in canon, and see how it unfolds? What would happen if Joel had met Anna? How about Sarah and Ellie?

Gender identity: exactly what it says on the tin.

Pride Meta: What does queerness in The Last of Us mean to you? How does it contribute to the story?

"Nature held me close": Based on the quote from Leslie Feinberg, how does nature and queerness come together?

Pride AU: whether it be canon divergent or a modern AU, go nuts!

Remix: create some fanart, or a playlist, or even an edit for your favourite queer fic, old or new!

Music: create a fanwork based around your favourite queer anthem - bonus points if its canon complaint to the show (released before September 2003) or the game (September 2013)!

Of course, all of these are just guidelines and by no means have to be strictly adhered to, let your creativity run wild! We're excited to see what you make, and be sure to share them under the tag so we can reblog and spread the positivity further ❤️

Any comments, ideas, or want to submit a prompt of your own? Send it our way!

[combines]

hello again!! as someone who comes from the 2020 fandom resurgence I am. SO SORRY. that happened a lot unfortunately. yeah we did NOT know how to act early on (ToT). I had the vibe it was a lot of people's first online fandoms.

the ship with two guys in it being dubbed butter pecan because of something something 'a lot of nuts' is again, so, so funny. Thank you for enlightening me on this, I know it's probably wild to be asked about this stuff like a decade after. This is like honestly a bit of a mystery in the fandom so it's insane finding out the source!! A real miracle the person who coined it so long ago is still active on tumblr

And speaking, it is and was INSANELY hard to dig for any 'fandom history' or even just any sort of Old post on here and I hate it.

another little question if that's okay- I'd assume that seeing the change in reception to freemance and freehoun kinda swapping around must've been bizarre as an older fan considering this was a fandom for a fps game in the early 2000's-early 2010's, in my head the vibes were kinda reversed where freemance was the big ship and freehoun was less well received by most

hiii again!!! i'm so sorry it took me a few days to answer this sdkfsmdk

i think it's super funny because both half-life: alyx and hlvrai came out within weeks of each other so you had this sort of resurgence on here of old fans returning/posting and getting excited for alyx and then a huge wave of people getting into hl in general because of the audience that hlvrai introduced. personally, i still haven't watched hlvrai because it doesn't really seem like my thing, but i'm still glad that there were so many people who enjoyed it to the point where they actually ended up playing and loving the games too!!

freemance definitely was the big ship on tumblr back in the day so yes it was very interesting to see that reversal!!!! honestly i don't think i was on tumblr too much during that time where hlvrai/freehoun really took off, and so the drama surrounding ship wars or whatever was mentioned to me secondhand. 2020 was just like the worst year of my life for personal reasons, as i'm sure for a lot of people, and i can't remember really any of it tbh LOL but you've got nothing to apologize for! i think you're definitely right, it seemed like a first fandom for many people, and that generally skewed younger. i think (hope) it's a better now at least!

tumblr's tagging/tracking/search is HORRIBLE i completly understand. i still think tumblr is the best place for fandom centralized stuff (pictures, art, gifs, etc) and until there's a new platform that does it better, i'll probably still be here, if super sporadically!

if you are interested in uncovering past hl fandom posts or just looking to follow some great people, i've tagged just some that were active in the hl fandom back in the day!!! :') i'm sure they wouldn't mind if you combed their archive looking for hl stuff/shitposts <3

@mbelyakova @littlewitchbee @temunade2 @loplins @angels-heap @anndromedea @skellagirl @bioticbear @cortnan @duamuteffe @protokol @cerviceps @axiolotl @clodiuspulcher @caramujotan @drgertiefremontphd @jauffre @owligator @saikkunen @utopianoverlord @failssafe @brogineer