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faeriichaii · 10 months ago

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hii, how are you? It’s me again. Could I request a Legolas x reader again? something funny and very fluff with a Legolas a little bit jealous because the hobbits stole all the reader’s attention, would be fun if she made them braids (feeling like a old sister taking care of them, not other intention i swear🙏), hope not to bother you and wish you a lovely dayy, thank u💗

Braiding Together ~ Legolas x Reader

A/N: Heyyy :) I'm fine and you?? I love it omg I really am a big fan of the little hobbits and I just want to hug them close and never let go 😔😔 I hope you have a nice day as well and enjoy the story <3 (I'm so sorry that it is like a lil short and that it kinda is bad djsifeh)

⇢ ˗ˏˋWarnings: fluff ࿐ྂ ⇢ ˗ˏˋWords: 910 ࿐ྂ ⇢ ˗ˏˋRequest: Yes (thank you <33) ࿐ྂ ⇢ ˗ˏˋMeleth Nin ~ My Love ࿐ྂ

Summary: You have always received compliments for your cute braids, so you decided to offer the hobbits to braid their hair. However, Legolas really doesn't understand, why you would do that.

You laughed softly at one of Pippins jokes, as he sat in front of you. Fingers nimbly combing through his wild hair. The hobbits have complimented your braids so so many times, so you decided to offer to braid each of their hair. All of them nodding in agreement and sitting down around you, almost building a wall, and waiting for their turn patiently. “Say (Y/N), do you redo your hair every day? Or do you keep some braids in more than just a day?” Pippin asked you, while his gaze was focused on the fire in front of him. “It depends. Sometimes my braids open up a little during the day, so I redo them the next morning. The only braids I never redo myself, are the ones Legolas does.” You said, while weaving the small strands of Pippins hair into a braid.

“Are they important to you?” Sam asked, as he intently watched your fingers. A small blush dusted your cheeks, as you thought about the night Legolas first braided your hair. You sat at a bonfire, much like this one, as he suddenly turned towards you and asked you if it would be okay to braid your hair. You remember being very surprised and overwhelmed, but in the end, you gave him your approval. Since then, it has been an almost daily occurrence for the both of you, to sit down somewhere secluded and start braiding each other’s hair. “Yes, they are very important to me.” You answer Sam with a gentle smile. Finishing the braid, you give Pippin your small pocket mirror, so he can take a look at the neat braid you have done. He turned around with a bright smile, until his eyes focused onto the something behind you. He quickly stood up, thanked you for the braid and left you alone with the others. Turning around confused, you raised an eyebrow as you spotted the elven prince. A scowl was present on his face.

“Meleth Nin, what are you doing?” He asked while looking at the three remaining hobbits around you. “I am braiding their hair.” Gesturing Sam to take the space in front of you, Legolas decided to join you on the log. “But… why are you braiding their hair?” Your eyebrows scrunched together at his question. “Well, they always compliment my braids and I thought I could braid their hair too. Plus, they look so adorable with their new hairstyles.” A hum left his lips, as he watched you brush through Sams hair gently. You felt the elven princes gaze on your fingers, as you parted the hair into the sections you needed. Taking a quick glance into his direction, you notice a confused expression on his face.

“My love, are you alright?” You asked, stopping your task at hand and turning a little towards him. He let out a little sigh. “I just am confused as to why you are braiding their hair. Elves tend to only braid their own hair or the hair of the person they court.” A gentle smile adored your lips, as you let go of Sams hair. “I apologize my love, I didn’t know. I just wanted to do it because they always look at me so sweetly when I do mine and so I wanted to offer them to braid their hair.” Legolas nodded understandingly, moving a little closer towards you. “You did this row wrong.” He pointed at the mistake you have made. “And this one just looks like a mess.” He pointed at another strand you have just finished. Rolling your eyes at him, you opened the braid again.

“Well, Mr. I-Can-Do-It-Better, how should I braid his hair?” A chuckle left Legolas’ lips, as he took your hands in his. “First off, you will start with this hand.” He shakes your right hand softly. “And with that hand you will grab a good amount of hair. Not too much though.” Guiding your right hand back to Sams head, you take a chunk of his hair. Apparently though, you had a little bit too much between your fingers, hence Legolas began to shake your hand once more. “Now you will part it into two sections and use your left hand...” He began to now shake your other hand. “…to pull a small strand from the right strand and pull it over it and under the left strand.” Your eyebrows scrunched together in confusion, trying to understand what he meant. He guided your hand around with his, until you finished a few rows together. A soft ‘ahh’ escaped your lips, as you finally understood the braid you were working on together with the elven prince. The both of you quickly finished the hairstyle and handed Sam your small mirror.

“Thank you so much (Y/N) and Legolas.” He said, before leaving you with Frodo and Merry. The struggle of brushing and braiding passed quickly, as you both finished off the last remaining two hobbits. A smile formed on your lips, as you watched each of them flaunter their new hairstyles. Legolas put his arm around your waist, pulling you to his side. Leaning towards him, you gave him a peck on the cheek. “Thank you for helping me my love.” “Of course, anything for you Meleth Nin.” Laying your head onto his shoulder, you both continued to watch the hobbits like proud parents, as they still sauntered around with cute little braids in their hair.

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jokeringcutio · 11 months ago

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Stepdad! William Afton x Reader – ‘Boyfriend’ (SMUT)

Summary: You bring home a boy. Your mother is excited. Your stepdad…not so. Cue to stepdad William Afton staking his claim and reminding you who you truly belong to.

Fandom: FNAF (inspired by the movie verse) Pairing: William Afton x Reader Rating: Explicit Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content (SMUT), Age difference, Older man x Younger woman, stepdad x daughter!reader, dub-con, implied con, taboofic, spanking, fingering, cunnilingus, p in v sex, secret!sex, jealousy!, threats, hair pulling, unsafe sex, creampie, breeding!kink implied, infidelity, implied established stepdadxreader, William Afton is not a nice man, William Afton is a bad dad.

Boyfriend

Flashing him an encouraging smile, you stepped into the warmth of your home, the chill from the outside air dissipating. Your mother bustled about in the kitchen, the familiar scents of her cooking enveloping you like a comforting embrace. As she turned to greet you, her gaze fell upon Sam, who stood just behind you.

"Mom," you said, motioning towards the young man beside you. "Remember Sam?"

Sam was undeniably handsome; his blond hair framed a chiseled face adorned with bright green eyes that seemed to capture every bit of light in the room. His tall frame filled out the doorway, exuding a quiet strength that immediately caught your mother's attention. Her eyes twinkled as she looked him over.

"Nice to meet you,” Sam said politely, extending a hand that your mother eagerly shook. Her eyes traced over his broad shoulders and the white toothy smile.

"You are on the football team, aren’t you?" she replied warmly, her excitement barely contained.

“I am,” Sam confirmed, his smile broadening, reminiscing you of ancient statues of Greek Heroes and Gods. He was picture-perfect. Just the right type of boy to take home to impress your mother with.

"Actually, Mom," you hesitated for just a moment before continuing, voice shy and eyelashes fluttering, "Sam and I are dating.”

"Really?" Her eyes widened, a grin spreading across her face. "Oh, how wonderful!" She clapped her hands together in delight.

“Your daughter is a gem,” Sam said smoothly, words slipping out like velvet. You could just see how your mother seemed to approve of him.

He placed his bag on the kitchen counter and seemed to look around for something, then his eyes traveled to you, a question within them. You tried to suppress a grin and shook your head, and Sam’s eyes traced back to your mom.

"Excuse me," Sam said, "Can I use the…?”

"Of course, dear." Your mother pointed down the hallway. "Second door on the right."

As soon as he disappeared from sight, your mother pulled you into a tight hug. "So spill, when did this happen? Didn’t you tell me you didn’t like that boy?”

“Just today,” you said with a small grin. “And perhaps I changed my mind. Try and date. Like someone kept nagging I should.”

“Finally,” your mom said, raising her palms in the air. “I have been praying you would go on a date, even if it was just once. You really need to get some experience. And Sam seems… nice.”

“I know,” you said, tongue pressing against the back of your teeth pensively. “He’s not my type…”

“I wasn’t going to say that,” your mother said hesitatingly, though you could tell she had been thinking it. Then she flashed you another smile and gently placed her hand on top of yours. “I am happy you are finally crawling out of your shell. You’re a pretty girl,” at this you scrunched your nose and she caught sight of it, “yes, you are. Even if you think differently.”

Then she let go of your hand and let out a happy sigh. “Oh, I remember when I was your age.”

You rolled your eyes as you both said, “Dated a new boy each week.”

You looked at your mom and you both laughed. “I know, mom,” you said. “I know. But I’m not like that.”

“I know,” she replied with a gentle smile, her head resting on her hands and her elbows leaning on the kitchen counter as she looked at you. “I'm so happy for you, sweetheart! He seems like a great guy."

You couldn't help but smile. "He really is, Mom."

Sam returned to the kitchen, a sheepish grin on his face, and you both settled down at the table to work on your homework assignment. Your mother, sensing that you two might want some time alone, gave you both a teasing smile.

"If you get hungry you may take from these,” she gestured at the food she’d been making. “I'll be working in the attic if you need anything," she said before exiting the kitchen.

Sam eyed the snacks your mother had been making and picked one up, taking a bite. You followed his example.

The assignment before you was boring, and quite soon both of you were sighing. You noticed how Sam was moving closer to you with every opportunity he got, brushing an arm against you or a leg. It was exactly why you had chosen to date him. You just knew he would make a move and never took schoolwork seriously. He was that type of guy. Hands-on. Thinking of one thing only.

"God, I hate this assignment," Sam mumbled as he flipped through his textbook, his green eyes filled with annoyance.

"Tell me about it," you agreed, rubbing your temples. "Let's take a break and put on some music."

"Great idea." Sam pulled out his phone and connected it to a small speaker. Soon, the sultry sounds of bachata filled the air, and you couldn't help but sway along to the rhythm.

"Come on," Sam stood up, offering you his hand. "Let's dance."

You grinned, taking his hand and allowing him to lead you into the dance. His strong arms guided you effortlessly, the heat between you two palpable as your bodies moved in sync. The world around you seemed to fade away as you lost yourself in the music and Sam's embrace.

The sound of a door slamming shut jolted you back to reality and you looked straight into the fury blue eyes of your father.

William Afton, your stepfather, stood in the doorway, his face twisted with anger. You immediately felt a knot of fear tighten in your stomach.

"Uh, hi Dad," you stammered, trying to sound casual even as your heart raced.

"Who is this?" he growled, his cold blue eyes narrowing as they fixed on Sam. Pretty young boy. Everything the opposite of what he was.

"Th-this is Sam," you replied, your voice trembling slightly. "He's my boyfriend." Not quite, but dating counted, right?

"Boyfriend?" William sneered, his distaste evident. "And that makes this okay? You think I'd let something like this happen under my roof?"

"Sir, we were just—" Sam began, only to be cut off by the sharp, icy glare William shot him.

"Enough," William snapped, his tone making it clear that there would be no further discussion. You could see Sam's jaw clench in frustration, but he wisely held his tongue.

You forced yourself to take a calming breath and lowered your gaze submissively. "I'm sorry, Dad," you murmured, hoping that would be enough to placate him for now.

William's lips curled into a sneer as he paced the room, his anger radiating in waves. "You're too young to be dating," he spat, his words like venom. "Don’t know what you’re getting into, do you? So eager for a boy’s cock."

You felt your cheeks flushed and shyly stared at the floor, letting your stepdad’s words wash over you like waves.

“And you,” he then said, aiming his fully attention at Sam now. “I know your type. Think you can seduce a naïve young girl, fuck her on your cock once and then throw her aside like a cheap whore. Laugh about it afterward with your friends. You think my daughter’s easy like that?”

Sam shifted uncomfortably under the weight of William's gaze, visibly shrinking back from him. You felt your cheeks burn with humiliation, wanting nothing more than to disappear.

"Maybe your mother thinks it's cute," William continued, turning back to you again, his voice dripping with disdain. "But I know better. She'd love to see you become a whore, wouldn't she?"

"Hey, that's not fair—" Sam started to protest, but a single raised hand from William silenced him.

"Enough." The word was barely more than a growl, and it sent shivers down your spine. You couldn't help but feel betrayed by Sam's inability to defend you, even as you knew that standing up to William was like trying to stop a hurricane with an umbrella.

"Look," Sam muttered, avoiding your eyes. "I should go. We can finish the homework later, or something."

And it was exactly this something that had the hope inside if your tummy plummeting. As Sam rushed to your front door, you followed him with featherlight steps.

Somehow this was what you had expected of him. All tough and popular in school, but when facing a bigger man he would shrink away.

It irked you that he didn’t even try to stand up for you, that he accepted this defeat without so much as turning to your dad and telling him off. Nope, he just went to the door. Left you to your dad. Coward.

You slammed your hand on the door before he could open it, forcing him to lock eyes with you.

"Wait," you whispered. "Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you stand up for me?"

"Your dad,” Sam spoke through gritted teeth but hesitated, as if he were uncertain why he even had this conversation with you. At the end of the hallway, you could feel your stepdad’s towering presence, heavy and dark.

Like a shadow watching over the two of you.

“Your dad’s just...too much for me," Sam finally admitted, his voice tense. He paused and looked at you. "I'm sorry."

"Stepfather," you corrected him softly, feeling a strange mixture of relief and disappointment. "He's my stepfather."

Sam shrugged, his bag on his back, the zipper open still, showing the folders and maps you were supposed to be working on.

"Either way, I don't want to be around him." With that, Sam stepped out the door, leaving you alone to face the storm that was William Afton.

You slowly turned around, the shape of your stepfather like a dark shadow at the end of the hall. The displeased curve of his lips was visible from where you stood.

He only needed to point a finger to the floor, signaling that you had to return to him. No words were needed. Step after careful step, you walked closer, entering the room before he closed the door behind you.

“Well now,” the words came out low and rasped as your stepdad placed his large hand on the small of your back, guiding you back to the kitchen table before roughly pushing you toward it. You tumbled over by the sheer force, chest pressed against the cold wood as items that had still been on the table now clattered to the floor.

Strong hands moved past your hips, pulling your pants and panties down in one swift motion, exposing your neither regions. Cold air brushed past your skin and you subdued a shudder.

"You think it's okay to bring someone else home, hmm?" William asked, his voice cold. "Think I wouldn't find out?"

"Dad, I-" you began to protest, but he cut you off.

"Quiet." He didn't give you a chance to respond before he delivered the first spank, sharp and sudden. You gasped at the mix of pain and pleasure that shot through your body. His hands were big, even against the supple flesh of your ass.

"Count," he instructed, his breath heavy.

“One,” you said, words forced out through gritted teeth. Another slap, the stinging slightly fiercer than before. Your hands curled into fists in front of you, trying to support your weight on your elbows as you stood bent forward over the table. Another smack. “Two.”

You heard the deep breathing of your stepdad as it increased. He was getting excited. “You brat,” you heard him murmur in between slaps. The stinging increasingly becoming worse, the pain a delightful pleasure that made you hum.

“It’s clear Dad here has got to teach you a lesson not to be such a little slut,” each of those final words was punctuated by another firm slap to your buttocks, making you see stars and wheeze with pleasureful pain.

You whimpered out the numbers, bracing yourself for another smack. As the spanking continued, your cheeks burned and your arousal grew. There was something thrilling about being at his mercy, about submitting entirely to him.

Finally, your stepdad stopped, and you waited in anticipation for another slap. But it didn’t come. Instead, you felt his strong hands massaging your tender flesh. His fingers, rough from years of working on animatronics, sent shivers down your spine as he caressed your sensitive skin, separating your now sore cheeks and pushing them back together again.

"Such a pretty little thing, aren't you?" he purred, his hot breath fanning across your wet pussy. You could tell by the tone of his voice that he'd gotten exactly what he wanted, and it both terrified and excited you. He leaned down, his tongue teasing your slit before he captured your clit between his teeth, sending a jolt of pleasure through your body.

"Dad," you moaned, unable to contain yourself any longer. He hummed in response, his lips working expertly on your most sensitive spot. The nibbling the flick of his tongue to your sensitive clit, it was all too much, and you had to bite the back of your hand in order to keep from crying out loud. Suppose your mom would hear.

No, she could never find out!

Chapped lips curved against your sensitive sticky-wet skin. The little hairs of his beard tickled you as William continued to pleasure you with his mouth. You felt a familiar tension building within you. Desperate for release, you wriggled on the table, wishing you could somehow grasp his hair and urge him on. But he held your hips tightly in his hands, grip strong enough to create finger-shaped bruises, his head buried between your legs. All you could to was squirm against the table, wishing you could see him as he ate you out.

"Please," you begged, the sound nearly a sob. William chuckled darkly, slipping his fingers inside you and curling them just right. It was all too much – the pressure, the pleasure, the pain – and suddenly, you were falling apart, your orgasm washing over you in a tidal wave of sensation.

Your body trembled, pussy pulsing wildly around his finger and tongue, slick gushing forward and into his awaiting mouth, coating his lips.

As he withdraw, you heard a dark chuckle. Your world spun and slowly got back into focus, and you realized you were still on the table, your weight resting on your elbows as you stared at the photographs of your family hanging on the wall.

You were grateful that the table supported you, because your legs were shaking and you didn’t think you could stand on your own right now.

"Good girl," William praised, his voice low and dangerous as he withdrew his fingers from your quivering core. As you lay there, catching your breath, you could feel the lingering pulse of your orgasm still radiating through your body. But William wasn't finished with you yet.

"Stay bent over," he commanded, his voice rough and demanding. You obeyed, anticipation causing a shiver to run down your spine. The sound of his zipper being undone filled the room, and you couldn't help but feel both nervous and excited for what was about to happen.

"Such a tight little pussy," he growled as he positioned himself behind you, one hand gripping your hip while the other tangled in your hair. He pulled you back, forcing you to arch your back even more as his cock pressed against your entrance.

"Please," you whimpered, desperate for him.

"Who do you belong to?" he asked, his voice dark and dangerous.

"Y-you," you stuttered, feeling your face flush with embarrassment.

"Say it," he demanded.

"I belong to you, Daddy."

"Good girl," he praised before thrusting into you without warning, his cock splitting you open and filling you completely. A gasp tore from your throat as you struggled to adjust to his size, but William didn't give you any time to recover. He set a brutal pace, pounding into you like an animal, his grip on your hair keeping you in place.

"Fuck, you're so perfect," he snarled, his breath hot on your neck. His words sent a shudder through you, and you couldn't help but push back against him, wanting to take him deeper.

"Harder, please," you begged, needing to feel his complete control.

"Greedy little thing," he chuckled, somehow managing to drive into you even harder. "You love this, don't you?"

You parted your lips to answer, the feelings overwhelming you. But he was quicker.

“Quiet,” he snarled in your ear, “We don’t want your mother to hear what we’re doing here, do we?”

Hard as it was, you managed a nod – even with the way he kept a grip tightly on your hair. Your body ached for him, and every thrust of his hips seemed to drive you further under his spell.

"Tell me who you're gonna fuck from now on," he demanded, his voice a low growl.

"Only you, Daddy."

"Damn right," he muttered as he continued to pound into you, each thrust making your body shudder with pleasure. You felt the firm outline of his hips, the softness of his belly pressing against your back as he thrust inside of you. It shouldn’t feel so sinful, but it did. Your much older stepfather was making you feel so good, that it dazed you.

You could feel another orgasm building, but before you could reach that peak, William's grip on your hair tightened as his own release approached.

"Fuck!" he snarled, his hips slamming into you one last time as he came, filling you with his hot seed. His grip changed on you while you cried out, walls fluttering around his hard shaft. His hand on your hip and the one pulling your hair ensured that you were pulled flushed against him, making sure he stayed buried deep inside for just a little longer than needed while your cunt pulsed around him.

Slowly, your vision started to stabilize again. The warped pictures on the wall came back into focus and your pussy’s grip on his cock became looser, not pulsing as frequently as your body started to relax.

His panting breaths filled the room as he slowly pulled out, releasing your hair from his grip.

“Now, what do you say?” you heard his low voice rumble as you slumped forward on the table, catching your breath.

"Thank you, Daddy," you murmured, feeling the slick escape from the depths of your core, sliding all the way down your legs. You slowly got up and pushed yourself away from the table, facing William.

He stood a few feet behind you, his pants resting on his hips, cock and balls proudly on display. Liquid coated his softening shaft, and you watched entranced as he started to tuck it back inside his pants before zipping his fly.

You followed his example, bending over to pull your pants up, wincing at the discomfort you felt deep inside your core where he had been battering your cervix without a care in the world. You prayed your mother wouldn’t walk in right now, but luckily, she didn’t.

When you were presentable enough again – making sure your hair wasn’t quite the mess and ignoring the cold sticky liquid that ran down the inside of your thigh – you took a step closer to your stepdad.

“Mr. Afton,” you said, knowing he liked it when you addressed him so formally. And it worked. You saw the spark in his blue eyes. Licking your lips, closed the distance between you, standing on your tiptoes to give him a gentle kiss.

Once the kiss broke, your eyes met his blue ones. The pupils so dilated they seemed almost black.

“That’s better,” your stepfather said, his hand resting on the small of your back, keeping you close to him whilst towering over you. Just the height of him made you feel small, but then there was that gaze and the firm tone he used when he spoke to you. So demanding, so in control.

"Remember," he warned, his eyes dark and intense. "I don’t ever want to see you take another boy home again, or the consequences will be far beyond anything you can ever imagine.”

As a spark lit off in your eyes, he caught sight of it and his grip on you tightened. The corners of his lips pulled into a tight line. “I am serious, do not challenge me on this one. It is unlike what you are thinking of.”

And somehow, those words brought with them a sense of danger that made you actually feel cold on the inside, like he wasn’t threatening to fuck you hard as a punishment, but that he was threatening whatever man you might want to take home in future times. Like a death sentence. Would he kill them?

“You're mine, and I don't share," he rasped.

You nodded, your heart racing at his possessiveness. Somehow, it felt both terrifying and thrilling to be so completely claimed by this dangerous, powerful man.

And as you looked into his eyes, you knew your plan had worked.

“I promise to be good for you, Dad,” you said, words a whisper.

He let go just in time before the door flung open and your mother entered the room.

“Ah, sweetheart, you’re back,” she said, bright smile on her face as she walked over to give William a hug and a kiss on his lips. His blue eyes darted past her to meet yours and you quickly glanced aside.

Once they broke apart, your mother turned toward you. “Where’s Sam?” And then a frown formed on her face as she sniffed the air. She must have been quick in recognizing the scent and deducing what must have happened, for you could see her lips curl into a small smile and her eyes twinkle,

“Well, at least I hope you’ve used protection,” she muttered as she brushed past you to return to the snacks she prepared earlier in the kitchen.

“Want a taste of something sweet,” she curiously asked your stepdad, holding up one of the plates with prepared snacks.

William’s grin widened. “Oh,” he murmured, “I think I already have.”

~ Fin ~

AN: I am open for prompts. Want to read more? Why not check my masterlist, I write a lot of reader-inserts, including x William Afton, Arthur Fleck, The Grabber, Arthur Harrow, Severus Snape, and many more. ~

Taglist: @likoplays @2pacl0ve

AN: For more, follow me (:

~~ Support me on Ko-Fi - Masterlist - Request Box ~~

#William Afton #FNAF #Fnaf fanfiction #matthew lillard x reader #matthew lillard william afton #stepdad!william afton #Stepdad x stepdaughter #william afton x reader #reader x william afton #william afton x you

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outlanderskin · 7 months ago

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Sam Heughan at LandCon6 2024.

It was a good panel. The questions needed pre-approval so there were no awkward questions. This was good because for once no one mentioned the old kilt story😬. Sam is much more used to these types of events now. I saw him at his first Con in 2015 and I remember how carefree he was. Today, carelessness is calculated. He gives interesting answers, but always tries to put a joke at the end of everything. I found it interesting that he said he cried during the reading circle, when he heard the song ... It was a powerful moment for him and I can imagine how much it will hurt to say goodbye to Jamie Fraser. Yes, he talked about Caitríona being a director in the two private meetings and on the panel. Apparently nobody asked, but he made sure to include it. I took our photo from 2015 to him to autograph and his smile reminded me of the same smile he gave when he saw the sign we held for that photo. He wrote a thank you, in my native language before signing it. My gift, a Dad Jokes book, was also very well received. He was dressed normally (jeans and polo shirt), he didn't seem rushed, he took time for everyone during the private events, autographs and in the numerous photo sessions. A friend who went to Whiskey Taste said it was very good, very professional.

#outlander #fandom is for fun #thehardlifeofshippers

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copperbadge · 4 months ago

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Hey Sam! Would you mind sharing the research (or if you're not comfortable with that, your general search terms) you found on children of parents with emotional disregulation? That's been a theme in my own life, but I haven't found good papers about it myself, so I'd be interested in learning more.

Truly, it is a fucking quest.

So, when I initially searched I only really found one good article on what I think of as the "pop psych" side of things:

The Emotionally Dysregulated Parent by The Curious Nerd

It suffers from the problem a lot of pop psych books do, which is that it offers a highly relatable checklist and very few concrete solutions, but I don't want to criticize that because it's also not claiming that offering solutions is the goal. The article is more of a "Hey is this what I'm dealing with? Yes? Okay" kind of a situation.

Also, to preface: there is a fairly fine but visible line dividing "emotionally dysregulated" from "emotionally immature" which I think is why Adult Children Of Emotionally Immature Parents didn't resonate with me as much as it has for some. Dysregulated parents can have a fairly high level of emotional maturity, they just have wildly unpredictable reactions at times because their emotions overwhelm their self-control. So the impact on the child is less visible, and looks less like the forms of abuse or neglect that we're accustomed to.

More research under the cut but also a warning at the very end for some discussion of some pretty heavy stuff -- I'll put a little bold header before that bit so folks know when to stop reading if they want. (No personal accounts of abuse, just a discussion of abusive behaviors.)

I was looking for more articles like the one above and more research papers about the issue, but the problem was that Research came in three flavors:

All our data comes from surveys that parents took about their own dysregulation and the dysregulation of their small children. This is...interesting, I guess, but it's not good data because it's all self-reported and only by the parents.

We are studying emotional dysregulation's impact on the relationship between parents and adult children...but only in situations where the adult child is the dysregulated one. Obviously this isn't helpful and also what the fuck.

A study that affirms that emotionally dysregulated parents raise emotionally dysregulated children. I know these are necessary in order to build a framework for further research but also, you know, water be wet.

What actually helped me was stumbling across a different term during this research: "High Self-Monitoring". This refers to people who, as children, experienced unstable or irregular behavior from their caregivers and who thus developed the habit of constantly monitoring others' behavior, and others' reactions to their behavior, to ensure that they are accepted and approved of.

I never felt comfortable with thinking of myself as hypervigilant because the behaviors of hypervigilance don't match mine, but the behaviors of high self-monitors do, because they're specifically focused on the behaviors of other people in social situations. Remember how I was literally diagnosed as extremely charming? Yeah, high self-monitoring is a huge part of that.

I haven't had a chance to explore this as much. I hesitate to say the below link is helpful, because I think a lot of his suggestions aren't really valid for people with any flavor of neurodiversity, but I do think his exploration of self-monitoring is generally informative:

How to Become Less Self-Conscious by Matt Norman

Relative to high self-monitoring is another term, "Parentification", which refers to a parent investing their child with the responsibility of parenting a sibling or becoming a caregiver for said parent. This is akin to "eldest daughter syndrome" that you may have seen discussed on Tumblr, but more clinically defined and intense (and less gendered). Again, I haven't had a chance to dig into Parentification, so I don't have more to recommend yet.

Discussion of childhood trauma below, specifically incest. Skip to the next bold header if you don't want to read this.

I will say, very frequently you see Parentification paired with another term, emotional incest, which refers to a parent putting their child in the position of a romantic partner but without the physical aspect of incest. It can involve venting to the child about romantic partners or work problems, depending on the child for emotional support, preventing the child from peer activities or age-appropriate friendships because of jealousy, and sometimes physical contact that's not sexual but also not parent-child appropriate.

I think "emotional incest" is a real behavior but also a really ugly term for that behavior, and Therapist agreed. It feels like the term adds stigma simply because incest is such a loaded word. It's something I have seen people use to refer to their own experiences and that's absolutely their call, I am not going to step to anyone who needs it or feels it applies to their situation. But if the term makes you uncomfortable I think that's also justified. In talking about it, Therapist and I reframed it as Boundary Breaking, but I think with a bit of work I can come up with something a bit more specific.

So, just, if you see a discussion of emotional incest I do recommend you have a look because it's an advanced form of parentification and may be something you want to deal with, but be aware the name may feel like it sucks and be ready to uh, deal with that.

Okay, here's the second bold header, you can come back now.

So yeah, my research has been very surface level, in part because once I found all this I wanted to bring it to Therapist for guidance in further research. But I do think that "emotional dysregulation and parents" is sadly not a great search term. You're better off searching for "high self-monitor" or "parentification" and keeping a keen eye out for additional keywords those searches may generate. Good luck...

#not yet fired from therapy #childhood trauma

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kaleldobrev · 11 months ago

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Never the Favorite

Pairing: Dean Winchester x F. Reader

Platonic Pairing: Sam Winchester & F. Reader

Summary: You finally try and set the record straight

Word Count: 844

Warnings: Cursing (1x)

Authors Note: Takes place during season one | Something that always got me, is whenever Sam said something along the lines of Dean being the favorite child. Like Sam, he wasn’t and it was pretty clear so that’s what I based this fic on | Let me know if you like the new way I have formatted | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡

It was another classic Sam and Dean argument — Sam telling Dean how he was never the favorite child growing up and how Dean actually was; and how much of a black sheep of the family Sam had felt because he didn't want to go into the family business. It was an argument and a sentiment that you were so used to hearing at this point that you could pretty much recite word for word their replies. The boys were starting to sound like broken records, and you and Dean had only picked up Sam from Stanford a few months ago.

You didn't want to get involved in their argument as you felt like it wasn't really your place, but there was a part of you that started to get annoyed with Sam, because you knew that Dean was never the favorite — Sam always was. You knew how hard Dean had tried over the years to try and get his father's approval, but it was approval that he would never be able to get, no matter how hard he tried. It killed you inside, because you loved Dean for who he truly was, not who he was pretending to be.

But because you had heard this argument so many times, you had told yourself that you were finally going to say something to Sam; to try and stop this argument once and for all.

Parking Baby and cutting the engine, Dean pulled out his wallet from the glove compartment, pulling out a crumpled up 20 that he won from a poker game a few nights ago. “Gonna grab some snacks. Either of you want anything?” He asked before turning to you. “Want your usual chocolate anything?”

You gave him a small smile. “Yes please. And orange soda if they have it.”

“Getting you the bottle this time. ‘Cause I don’t want another spilling incident like last time with the can,” he said, giving you a wink. “How about you?” He asked, turning to Sam.

“I’m good thanks,” Sam nodded, before pulling out his phone and promptly started checking his e-mail.

“Alrighty,” Dean said, getting out of the car. “Be back in ten.”

As soon as Dean was out of eyeshot and earshot, you sat up closer to the passenger side where Sam was, placing a hand on the back of the seat. “Hey, I know he’s your brother and the whole point of brothers is basically being assholes to each other but, I really need you to lay off the whole Dean being the favorite stuff.”

Sam turned to you, placing his phone in his lap; the look he gave you was of pure confusion. “But he is the favorite. Always has, always will be. I know you probably wouldn’t know that consider —”

“I’m gonna stop you right there,” you began, slight attitude in your voice. “I’ve been hunting with Dean and your father for about a year now, and let me tell you, I didn’t need to be around for your childhoods to know that you were and are still the very clear favorite.”

“Me? The favorite?” He scoffed. “I don’t think so.”

You rolled your eyes. “Did it ever occur to you why he’s so similar to your dad? Why he barely shows any of his actual interests around anyone but me? Dean wears his jacket, listens to the same music, says the same phrases.”

“But…that’s how Dean always has been," Sam stated. For as long as he could remember, that's always how he remembered Dean, being so similar to their father. Memories flashed before him, recalling numerous times where him and his father sang along to Zeppelin during one of their many insanely long car rides to Pastor Jim's, or how Dean would refuse to go anywhere without their father's leather jacket.

"You really know nothing about your brother do you?" You asked him, slight sadness and hurt entering your voice. You hadn't known for very long, but you had known him long enough for him to start letting you in and getting to know the real him, and not the facade he let everyone else believe. "The only reason Dean acts like your father is because in his mind, if he acts like him he'll get the approval he always wanted that you never had to try and get." You felt your blood start to boil. "So please stop with the fucking favorite argument okay? I'm sick and tired of it."

Sam was silent for a moment, as he's never seen you this angry before nor has he ever seen you this defensive of anyone. As much as he wanted to disagree with you, he knew that he couldn't because he clearly didn't know Dean the way that you did. He might of spent 18 years of his life on the road with him, but he didn't actually know him. "Okay," he finally said, slightly sighing.

"Just...don't tell Dean I said any of this to you okay?" You asked him, slightly patting his shoulder.

"Of course," he said, slightly smiling.

Tag List: @roseblue373 @beansproutmafia @queenie32 @deanwanddamons @missy420-0 @octoberclidan @kidwhofixates @crystal555 @hannahisthebanana @seamlessepiphany @madzzz0797 @livingordeadwhoknows

@writinginfear @Roskar16 @syrma-sensei @k-slla @justletmereadfanfic @deans-daydream @midorimachisenpaii @rachiem4-blog @taraswifes @zepskies @jackles010378 @mrsjenniferwinchester @globetrotter28 @deans-spinster-witch @mrlonelycat @frozenhuntress67 @coldspoons @androah @savagemickey03

@grx-deanslovr @wirdbeimaufhebengebunden @the-achievementhunter @ficmesideways @nancymcl If you’d like to be added to a tag list please follow this link

#dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #sam winchester & you #sam winchester & reader #spn imagine #spn one shot #supernatural #spn #supernatural one shot #supernatural imagine #dean x you #dean x reader #reader insert #female reader

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marvelfanfn2187a113 · 10 months ago

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Bed Time

Team Free Will & Winchester little sister!reader

Requested by Anonymous

Synopsis: you have a bet going with your friends to see who can stay up the longest, but Team Free Will isn’t having it

Note: over a liter = like 3-4 cans

36 hours.

That’s how long you’d been up, and you were prepared to double it if need be. You’d already beaten out half of your friend group, and you had a feeling the others would crack soon enough.

One of your friends—you were so delirious now that you couldn’t remember which one—had made the brilliant suggestion that all of your friends should try to see who could stay up the longest.

You were used to getting minimal amounts of sleep in your chaotic Winchester life, so you readily agreed.

But it wasn’t nearly as easy as you thought it would be.

The longer you stayed awake, the more you started to realize just how awful Sam must have felt when he had Lucifer keeping him from sleeping. And this was just you and your friends doing a stupid challenge; you couldn’t imagine how he must have felt.

Still, between the lack of sleep and horrible memories flooding back of your big brother in pain, this challenge was turning out to be awful. But still, you were stubborn; you wanted to win.

Fortunately for you, your brothers and your angel friend Castiel still hadn’t discovered what you were doing. You didn’t think they’d approve of this less-than-healthy bet.

It was getting harder to hide it from them as you found yourself chugging energy drinks to stay awake. You threw them away in your room so no one would see, but they weren’t idiots; you looked almost as tired as you felt.

“Are you feeling alright?”

Of course Sam would be the first one to call you out.

“I’m fine,” you said immediately.

“She has over a liter of Red Bull in her system,” Castiel spoke up. You glared at him.

“What?” Dean asked. “You cramming for a test or something, kid?”

“Even if you are,” Sam interrupted. “That isn’t good for you.”

“She hasn’t slept in thirty-seven hours and fourteen minutes,” Castiel added.

“Cas,” you groaned. “Seriously?”

“You what?” Dean demanded.

“That’s abnormal, is it not?” Castiel put in, confused.

“Yes, incredibly,” Sam huffed. “And unhealthy. Kid, what’s going on?”

“I’m not tired?” You suggested.

“Try again,” Dean said.

“Fine,” you sighed. “Me and my friends have a bet going to see who can stay up the longest.”

“Oh brother,” Dean huffed.

“Y/N, this isn’t healthy. You’ve gotta call it off.”

“But I’ve almost won!” You protested.

“Bed,” Dean demanded. “Go, now. Tell your friends the game is over.”

You groaned, and were just starting to turn around when your phone buzzed. You pulled it out, and a wide grin spread across your face.

“I won!” You cheered.

“Bed!” Dean ordered, snatching your phone from your hands. “Scoot!”

“I just have to tell my friends—“

“Sleep!” Sam added.

You slumped your shoulders and started for your room, calling over your shoulder.

“Can you text the group chat that I won?”

The boys response came in unison.

“Go to sleep!”

Taglist:

@nyotamalfoy @mrvlxgrl

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deanstead · 5 months ago

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I Have One Too

Characters: Dean Winchester; Leo Winchester (OC); Reader; Sam Winchester (mentioned)

Requested: yes, by anon and anon

Summary: Dean meets his son

Word Count: 800+

Tags/Warnings: Dad!Dean

A/N: Thank you so much for this sweet ask!!! By popular request, this is the other perspective of Dean meeting and bonding with Leo. This can be read on its own but highly recommended to read this in line with Welcome Home!

DEAN WINCHESTER MASTERLIST

Dean paused just as he was about to step out of the library.

He’d been so caught up with everything - seeing you, you showing up with a kid in your arms that was almost a carbon copy of him, processing the fact that he had a son in the first place, and everything else in between he hadn’t really thought about this next part.

Dean could hear him laughing, which seemed to have the opposite intended effect.

“Dean?”

Your voice seemed to shake him out of the thoughts that were swirling in his head and he looked at you.

You paused when you saw the look in Dean’s eyes. It was almost foreign, a look that you might have seen before but didn’t see too often and it took you a moment before you realized what it was.

“He’s your son, of course he’ll like you.” You said quietly, reading his mind with absolute ease. “Come on.”

You gently pushed Dean out of the library.

Sam had put Leo onto the table right in the front and Leo was spinning his mini Impala around, seeming to have a ball of a time all on his own.

You nodded encouragingly at Dean, who approached Leo slowly, like he didn’t want to catch him off guard.

“Hey, Leo.”

Leo tore his eyes away from his toy car to look at Dean, his eyes flicking toward you.

You smiled and Leo took that as an approval but he looked back at Dean, blinking without saying anything.

“So you like cars, huh? That’s a cool one.” Dean continued, reaching out for another one that was sitting off by the side.

Dean warmed him up a little, playing with Leo, driving the toy cars around him, complete with sound effects. You watched, feeling your heart warm up, and you even felt the prick of tears.

“Actually, I have one just like that. Do you wanna see?” Dean asked.

Leo’s head snapped upward before he turned his body toward you.

You smiled and nodded at him. “You wanna go take a look?”

Leo nodded eagerly and you chuckled.

“Go ahead.” You smiled.

Dean gently reached out toward Leo, as if he was asking for permission and with barely any hesitation, Leo was climbing into Dean’s arms, eager to go.

Dean smiled, feeling the weight of the tiny guy in his arms as he hoisted Leo upward, before taking him out toward the garage.

“Car!” Leo yelled triumphantly as soon as he saw her.

“You know a good one when you see it don’t you?” Dean chuckled, supporting Leo on one arm before reaching to open the door of the Impala.

Dean reached in so he could put Leo right at the driver’s seat, which only served to thrill Leo even more. Leo looked around the car, his small body bouncing a little as he looked around, his own tiny Impala still clutched in his hand tightly.

As Dean watched him, he could already see it - working on the car with Leo, showing Leo everything he loved about Baby and more. And as that image pressed itself into Dean’s mind, Dean couldn’t help but feel a little worried about what the future held for them.

But he didn't have much space to overthink or worry as his attention was once again overtaken by Leo's yells of "vroom vroom", a direct echo of the sound effects Dean had made for him when they'd been inside.

The weather was a little chilly so Dean leaned toward Leo in the car.

“Hey buddy, let’s go back inside for today, alright?” Dean said gently.

Leo glanced back up at him, and Dean smiled. “Maybe we can go on a drive next time, what do you say?”

“Drive?” Leo asked.

Dean nodded with a smile and Leo reached out for Dean almost too naturally.

As Dean brought Leo back in, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from you, where you sat next to Sam, your eyes twinkling as you looked at Leo.

“Mama, we stay?” Leo asked.

Dean didn’t miss the way you froze, your eyes flicking to him, before you averted your eyes again and looked at Leo, as if you didn’t know how to answer him.

On impulse, fueled by a very real fear that he’d lose both you and Leo if you walked out that door again, he stepped right up to you. Leo, as if he could feel Dean’s emotions, put his small two-year-old arm around your neck, looping the three of you together.

There was a small silence, that was significantly less awkward than the silence you and Dean had shared in the library an hour earlier.

Dean then reached out for your hand and squeezed gently. “Stay.”

“I’m not going to lose you again. Not for anything in the world.” Dean added, after a short pause.

You smiled at Dean. “Yeah, we’re staying with Daddy and Uncle Sammy.”

Dean leaned in to give you a quick kiss, and as you stepped to the side to welcome the hug from Sam, Dean lifted Leo onto his shoulders, the bunker filled with his gleeful giggles.

THANK YOU FOR READING!! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THIS!!

Taglist is open, send me an ask!

If you want to support me, buy me a coffee!

#resa.fics #oc: leo winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x y/n #dean winchester fanfic #dean winchester #dad!dean #dad!dean fanfic #spn #supernatural #spn x reader

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peterdarlingg · 1 year ago

Note

Could you write tom going out with reader and the boys and she gets tipsy and really cuddly and he's surprised cause she's not into pda, but she keeps giving him kisses and he's blushing so hard, but loving all of that?

Kisses and cuddles

Synopsis: you meet Tom’s brothers for the first time and get a bit tipsy.

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: none, (other than maybe drinking)

A/n: hello anon! Thank you for this request. I’m sorry it took so long I’ve been having a hard time but no matter, it’s out now and I hope you enjoy. Hopefully this is what you were looking for.

“Anyone want anything?”

“No I’m good, thank you, love.” Tom told you as you stood up to go get another round.

“Suit yourself, boys, anything?” You asked his brothers.

“No thanks y/n,” Sam said politely.

“I’m good for now thank you y/n,” Harry answered.

“Yeah okay,” you smiled awkwardly, leaving to grab your drinks.

“So, what do you think?” Tom asked his brothers.

“I can see why you like her so much mate, That’s for sure.” Harry said, smiling as he patted toms back.

“I agree, I think she’s very kind,” Sam chimed in. “That’s great news then,” Tom grinned very happy that his brothers approve.

You and Tom haven’t been together for long.

Just for a few months now. So when Tom finally suggested that you meet his brothers and go for a night out to get to know them better, you agreed.

Yes you were panicking about how it might go down but you agreed nonetheless.

If you were being honest, it was going great actually. Tom’s brothers were very kind and welcoming to you.

You’ve been chatting and drinking for about an hour now and you started to get just a tad bit tipsy.

You weren’t much of a drinker and Tom knew that, but you had told yourself a drink would help with the nerves. You didn’t tell Tom this but you really were nervous about today.

You had an inkling he knew anyway. He could always read you so well.

“I’m back and I come bearing goods,” you said smiling putting down the drinks you got.

“Hey, you doing okay?” Tom whispered to you so you could speak privately, seeing the number of drinks you got yourself.

“Yeah, I’m fine, I was just a bit nervous about today that’s all. But it��s going well so far I think ya know, so…it is going well right?” You asked him wide eyed.

“Absolutely don’t worry about it at all, they love you already,” Tom comforted you.

“Okay good,” you huffed, a tad bit nervous still.

The night went on and you started getting a bit dizzy but still not full on drunk. Thank god you weren’t much of a lightweight.

On the bright side though you were more comfortable now and that anxiousness that you had, had gone away.

On the downside though…on the downside, Tom’s a bit concerned. Why? Cause you were literally sitting on his lap cuddling into him. Don’t get him wrong he loves to cuddle you, he didn’t mind pda that much. But you, he knew for a fact, you were not into pda.

You liked to keep that private between the both of you. But right now, you were on his lap, cuddling into him kissing up his neck, mind you, right in front of his brothers.

“Y/n, are you okay?” He asked his cheeks red to the tips of his ears. “Yeah I’m okay, are you okay?” You asked innocently giving him a short kiss, smiling up at him.

“Yeah, y-yeah I’m okay,” he said hesitantly. You smiled giving him a kiss. Then a kiss on his cheek than the other cheek. All while Tom’s cheeks were burning red but he was secretly loving it.

Tom decided to enjoy these moments with you. His love language was touch and affection. So he was currently enjoying this. A lot. He tightened his arms around you and rested his chin above your head and kissed your temple. Sleep was creeping up on you from the drinks you had and it was getting late.

You put your head in the crook of his neck to block out the lights and wrapped your arm around his waist and not even 5 minutes later you were fast asleep.

10 min had past and while talking with his brothers, Tom realized you hadn’t moved or talked once since cuddling him.

He looked down to find you sleeping, your head leaning against him and your cheek squished from leaning on his chest.

His heart fluttered from seeing you so adorably sleeping.

“Hey guys it’s been great, but as you can see, I gotta go now, it’s getting late,” he said as he gestured to you sleeping on his lap.

“Yeah sure of course,” Harry said chuckling. “This has been great mate, I’m happy for you,” Sam said smiling.

After Tom said goodbye he had to carry you into the car. Yes he could have just woken you up, but he felt bad doing that when you looked so peaceful.

He put your seatbelt on and went to his side of the car. He looked at you while starting the car and you were still fast asleep leaning against the window now. He felt immense adoration thinking about you and knowing he’d go to sleep next to you that night.

During the drive home he slipped his hand into yours and held it the whole way back kissing your knuckle occasionally. Thinking about how lucky he was to be with you.

#tom holland #peter parker x reader #peter parker #tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #tom holland imagine #tom holland blurb #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #my writing

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bored-trans-orchidsexual · 24 days ago

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"Evan is the protagonist of Mismag"

I saw a post complaining about this, and apparently it's a pervasive thought in the fandom, that Brennan being Brennan and giving Evan a sizable backstory makes him the 'protagonist' of a 4-player game, and he hogs the spotlight. I can't believe this needs to be said, but...

HAVING A LONG BACKSTORY ≠ BEING THE PROTAGONIST

what the fuck stories have 'yall been reading. If there is a protagonist, which there isn't, it would be *Sam black* and yes I will explain that later, but first off, no. Having a lengthy backstory that comes back to haunt a character is *classic* rival or detailed support character biz. The question you need to ask yourself here, is 'does Evan's backstory dominate/make up the main plot or the main conflicts of the series' and, for those who answered yes to that... I'm sorry I just can't help you. Evan's shadow, the demons that claimed him, even the various wizards looking to him as the arrival of a dark lord are *not* the main villains of this story and if you thought they were you WERE NOT PAYING ATTENTION.

The *Villains* of this story are Boudica, Tallulah, and the system they represent/seek to maintain. The Wizarding society here knows they hold power and control secretly, that equality could be a thing but that would take away their power, so they want to keep it all to themselves. They play pretend at making peace and working together with the group they have othered (a group that outpopulates them so massively they can't even conceive of the size) but in bad faith, never intending to actually share power, they set up a group to fail because they eternally underestimate those they see as lesser. and you fuckers think the *White boy* is the main character? Seriously?

Evan is a *loud* character narratively but he doesn't lead. He's a potential villain in the making, someone who's life experiences have been hard and could grow quite dangerous, but not only does he not want to be that he has *Jammer.* He has *Sam.* I understand the dynamic between him and Kay is cute and all but honestly, they are kinda worse for him than better a lot of the time. Rewatch the show, really watch who he looks to when things are tough, or see his expressions wen Jammer and Sam help take care of him, offer support. He *instantly* develops an attachment to Jammer, any approval or support Jammer gives him goes leagues in that boy's head. That's his *best friend* and he's so cool. And Sam? Sam's so competent and social, she's a shining light for all her friends but she without a beat is on his side too and he can't believe it. If there is a "protagonist" in this group, it's Sam. She's a leader, not in the sense that Jammer is, but in her own very important way. Jammer makes the calls like a coach but Sam keeps everyone together. She sees everything for how it is, calls out what's wrong (Like the iconic "and we don't know you") And her influence spreads *quickly* wherever she goes. When the break between seasons happened she didn't leave, she remade herself and used her talents to spread magic and her view as best she could, as Sam Britan. She thrived, and continues to, and her very presence is a healing balm on everyone she cares about. But sure, the confused white guy is the protagonist. Fuck off with that shit, Sam Britan is narratively the most important character in this show and her friends are the most important thing to her in the world.

#mismag season 2 #mismag #mismag sam #Sam Britan #Sam black #Evan Kelmp #Mismag Evan #discourse #Y'all need to put some respect on that name #And stop assuming that just because a character is popular #That means they must be the Protgonist #This entire cast is top tier

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chaosology · 1 year ago

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invisible strings

Sam Kerr x reader

uses this+this request

warnings: underage drinking, gay pining, not proof read so u can call me out on grammar and i wont get my feelings hurt.

masterlist

September, 2003 - Perth, Australia

"Mum, it's so obvious she doesn't want me there!" You whined. Your mother was haphazardly chucking a soccer ball in a birthday bag, arranging the blue paper around it so it was semi-presentable. Bless her, but you knew Sam wouldn't care for the wrapping.

She had awkwardly handed you a party invitation after school that day as you plucked your bags off the racks.

"My mum said I had to invite a girl to come, sorry. There's good cake, though. It's ice cream."

She ran off almost as fast as she appeared, leaving you outside your Year 4 class alone. Why you? You weren't sporty at all, she could've at least invited one of the netball girls - they were always picking Sam for their teams, too. You were the anti-Sam, spending lunch with a small group of girls playing hopscotch and batting your eyes for the teacher's approval.

Black marker in your hand, you scribbled down a messy "happy birthday, Sammy K" in one of the white spaces on the ball. Your mum had taken you to Big W to choose one after school immediately after, given the late notice. You held it back, admiring your work. Would a heart be appropriate?

Yes.

You only turn 10 once, right? You added it front and centre on the ball, writing your name in the middle so she knew who it was from (though, she could probably tell a tween boy didn't make such an effort).

The party was, as expected, all boys. Sam's mother had greeted you warmly at the door, ushering you in with a comforting (and almost apologetic smile). Sam ran over excitedly to grab the gift bag off you, grabbing your arm to pull you over to the snacks table. You were introduced to all the other boys there, most of whom you knew from school.

You smiled shyly at all of them, spending most of the time sitting on the folded chairs outside while nibbling on some fairy bread and praying your mum would come get you. Sam ran around with the boys all afternoon, leaving you all alone with your thoughts. As it turned out, you had gotten the wrong type of football for Sam. You felt guilty for rushing at the shops, but Sam had hid the disappointment well, even complimenting your handwriting.

As the day came to an end, you were joined by Isaac. He was a friend of Sam's from an outside sports league, but had forgotten his asthma puffer and had to call it after two hours of straight footy. You talked most of the afternoon, complaining about your random 10 year old problems. You couldn't help noticing the way Sam came to talk to you more when she noticed Isaac there.

She probably just felt bad, you thought.

October, 2007 - Perth, Australia

Things had blossomed with Isaac. You remained friends for a few years, which eventually grew into something more romantic. He was your first boyfriend, and unfortunately your first love.

You were both invited to a party up in the hills. He had begged you to go, having become engrossed in the rumours of cruisers and beers being supplied by who-fucking-care's older brother. You had little interest, but his incessant nagging was beginning to piss you off, so you agreed.

Unfortunately as you both matured, Isaac changed. He was egotistical and big-headed, busy with AFL and making crude comments when he thought you weren't listening. It was hard not to see him in a different light, but sometimes you were offered a small glimpse at the small, sweet boy who sat out of breath next to you at the party.

You tugged on the hem of the sort black dress you were wearing, trying desperately hard to pull it further down your thigh. Isaac suggested "something sexy" for the party, much to your disagreement. You relented, and were now regretting it as you faced the chilly atmosphere of Perth's spring. He showed little interest in you while you sat next to him in on the couch, only passing you a beer and whispering "don't be lame" in your ear. Safe to say, the party kinda sucked.

You considered telling him you were going out front for air, but the way he was basically eye-fucking Karen Davies made you think twice. You wandered outside with teary eyes, Corona bottle in your hand as you breezed through the crowd of sweaty teenagers.

"Y/N?"

You turned, face to face with... Sam? She was older now, with slightly longer hair down to her shoulders and dressed in an oversized hoodie. Why was she giving you butterflies?

"Hey Sam," your voice came, "Sorry, just getting some air."

"Mind if I join?"

You motioned wordlessly for her to follow, her hand placed lightly on the small of your back as you navigated the halls to the front yard. God, you were so glad she couldn't see the red hot blush that painted your cheeks.

The two of you found yourselves sitting on the curb, legs stretched lazily out into the street.

"So Isaac's a dick now, 'ey?"

It was so nonchalant that it barely seemed hostile, Sam just took another swig from her bottle, grumbling when she noticed it was empty.

"You also don't have to drink the rest of that, you know? Doesn't make you lame or whatever."

You silently passed her the bottle, expecting for her to just chuck in a bin when she passed one next. However, she downed it in one go.

"Dickhead! I thought you were gonna throw it out! What if I wanted that later?" You laughed, playfully attempting to shove her off the curb. She only giggled in response, lightly shoving you back.

"Hey, I never got to say thanks for that soccer ball all those years ago," she started, "I actually play now. Mum 'n dad made me stop AFL, all the guys are bigger than me. But I actually really like soccer, your ball was the one I first used." She looked almost embarrassed confessing it, a small blush spreading across her face.

"Oh god, I remember that. Sorry, I think I scribbled all over it."

"Nah, it's cute- It's cool, sorry. It's cool, I liked it." She stammered, getting what looked like progressively more and more red.

"What are you up to now?" She said, awkwardly trying to change the subject.

"Oh I dunno, not much. Studying a lot, really. Isaac's been so odd lately so it's usually just me... It'd be cool to be a doctor, I think."

She looked up, eyebrows raised.

"No way! I always knew you'd do something like that, you were such a teacher's pet in primary school... The smartest, most nerdiest one there." She was back to her playful teasing now, and you found yourself slightly wishing that she'd flirt like this more.

What about Isaac? Were you a bad person? Why was Sam making you feel like this? Your head was starting to spin aggressively, the alcohol taking it's toll on your slight, 15 year old self. Sam grabbed your arm, rushing to hold back your hair as you crawled over to a bush, puking all over it. You felt too sick to be embarrassed.

Most of what you remember was her putting you in a taxi and slipping her phone number in your pocket. The next morning, you made sure to find the little note and stick it to your wall, staring longingly at the message written on it.

"Let's be friends - Sammy K"

You also broke up with Isaac.

April, 2014 - Perth / New York City

Y/N Y/L/N: haha sorry, is this the right Sam?? :D

Samantha Kerr: no way, yeah! how r u

Y/N Y/L/N: good! i'm so sorry i never messaged u after that party :( my mum never let me get a phone

↳ i wanted facebook to find u

Samantha Kerr: heheh no worries, what time is it for u rn?

Y/N Y/L/N: it's 9pm LOL aren't u here??

Samantha Kerr: nopeee :p i'm in new york

↳ i play soccer here! well for a bit cos i have to go back and forth

Y/N Y/L/N: no way, that's so sick... i'm jelly. stuck studying rn

Samantha Kerr: u haven't changed

Y/N Y/L/N: didn't u call me "teacher's pet" >:)

↳ med is super fun tho... come see me for sport injuries

Samantha Kerr: ...

Samantha Kerr: how's Isaac?

Y/N Y/L/N: omg Isaac haha, long gone... not my type

Samantha Kerr: ur type... not dickheads i'm guessing?

Y/N Y/L/N: *men

Samantha Kerr: LOL hahahaha same

↳ welcome to the better side

Y/N Y/L/N: ^_^

↳ how's things for u???

Samantha Kerr: heh yea good, the team here is super sick. NY is cool, lots of weird stuff... and christmas is so cold. my gf from here tho so she always makes fun of my accent :DDD

Y/N Y/L/N: ohh cool srry didn't know u had a gf... met thru soccer??

Samantha Kerr: yeh, we play for the same team. she's awesome

↳ someone @ home for u?

Y/N Y/L/N: haha no :/ someone but i don't think it'll work out

Samantha Kerr: aw that sucks,,, don't give up tho

↳ we should hang when i'm back next!

Y/N Y/L/N: that would be cool. i'd like that!

December, 2016 - Perth, Australia

She was always on your mind, but could she say the same of you? You and Sam had gotten so much closer over the years, texting 24/7 when either of you had the chance. She was returning back for Christmas and you were on your way to pick her up from the airport, helping to surprise to her family.

You hadn't been able to date properly since that conversation with Sam on the curb. Nobody else made your heart skip a beat like she did, and you found yourself yearning to feel her touch once again, even if it was brief. You didn't care. You comforted her when she went through her first serious break up, and she would stay on call for hours while you broke down about the pressures of med school. It felt like there was something pulling the two of you together, and god, you hoped she felt it too.

Standing at the International Arrivals gate was nerve-racking. Every flurry of passengers sent your nerves flying, eyes anxiously darting from person to person as you picked at your nails in anticipation. You were so nervous, you almost missed her.

She was finally here.

Her short hair was tied back, and the dark rings under her eyes proved how drained she was from the flight. She lugged a large, black suitcase with her, looking around until her eyes met yours.

You both rushed forward. She engulfed you in a warm hug that felt like... home?

No words were shared as you stood there in each other's embrace.

The car ride to Sam's house was comfortably silent, but you couldn't help but notice how Sam's hand had come to rest on your leg as you drove. It felt like it was on fire, but she didn't acknowledge it, sunglasses over her eyes as she looked tiredly out her window.

You were probably just reading into things, Sam admitted once that she's a really touchy person. You didn't want to lead yourself on.

Sam's family had invited you inside for the celebrations, surrounding you with all sorts of questions about schooling and your life. In a quiet moment, it was just you and her mother alone on the couch. Her siblings and dad were outside chatting at the barbecue, with the two of you remaining inside to escape the heat.

"She loves you, you know," her mother said matter-of-factly, "you love her too."

"Excuse me? I swear I-"

"Oh, don't be silly." She replied, leaning to hold your hand.

"That girl looks at you like you hung the stars. I get so many calls of Y/N this... Y/N that... She's besotted."

"I- I don't know what to say," you said, holding back the tears that threatened to spill, "was it that obvious?"

"Oh, no no. Don't worry. Us mother's have a way with things. Don't think yours doesn't see it too."

You laughed, raising your head to meet your eye. She released your hands, patting you on the knee as she walked off at the same time Sam conveniently entered. Nice one, Roxy.

"God... do you remember that birthday party I had?" She laughed, coming to sit next to you. She stretched her arms over the top of the couch, her fingertips only inches from where you were currently resting.

"How could I forget? Hey guys, this is Y/N that doesn't play footy - isn't that how you introduced me?"

She just laughed at your mock offence, small apologies leaving her mouth as she reminisced.

"I mean, it wasn't a lie."

"Oh fuck off, Kerr." You shoved her lightly, watching as her hand came to her chest to feign offence. You both fell quiet, meeting each other's eyes in a once again comfortable silence.

"Why me?"

Sam looked taken aback, her eyes down as she searched for an answer.

"Why not you?" She said, looking up. You could tell the mood had shifted as her eyes met yours, a hint of vulnerability across her face.

"I think... I think I always knew it was you."

"Sam-"

"No," she spoke softly, her hand coming to hold yours, "Just let me finish?"

You nodded.

"I can't really explain it, but there's just this pull. It feels like I can't stay away, you know? We always found a way back to each other, even after all these years. It's just- It's just always you"

The tears that were threatening to spill finally did as you pulled her close. You could taste the salty tears that left both your eyes as your lips met hers, a soft kiss that felt like it lasted a lifetime. Her hands came to hold the sides of your face, deepening the kiss until you were gasping for breath. Reluctantly, you pulled away and rested your forehead against hers.

"I think I love you, Y/N."

"I think I love you too, Sam."

July 14th, 2020 - London to Perth

"Have you got your comfy shoes, babe?"

A small "fuck!" echoed from your shared bedroom as your girlfriend scrambled to fish her shoes out from whatever pile she had thrown them in. Standing by the door, you watched as she stumbled forward and pulled her socks on, almost knocking over several pot plants as she did so. At 3am in the morning, she was not exactly a vision of grace and elegance.

The two of you had bounced around countries as Sam switched clubs, settling in the UK as she signed a contact with Chelsea. Your medical degree allowed a job almost anywhere and so you quickly found work at a nearby children's hospital, much to Sam's delight.

At the moment though, you were saying goodbye to your London apartment as you jetted back to your hometown. As far as you knew, there was no specific reason to be returning home, with Sam citing homesickness. You thought it suspicious as she was there only two months ago, but never bothered questioning it. You both missed Australia and eventually planned on moving back, but for now you were happy living a busy life in the UK.

Sam always had a thing about planes, as you came to learn. She was ok when they were completely in the air, always able to distract herself with some form of tv or movie (or sleeping pills), but you could tell by the way her knee was bouncing that this time would be no different.

"Hey, it's alright", you said, palm reaching across to settle her, "we'll be ok, these things are freaky safe now."

"I know. Logically I know it's fine but I just... I can't help it"

You only sighed, kissing her cheek and taking her hand in yours. The safety video played on the screens in front of you as you pulled her head to your shoulder, stroking her hair. Her body relaxed into yours as her breathing steadied, and you could feel her racing heart start finally slowing down.

She was drowsy from the early wake up and easily fell into a peaceful slumber. You prayed for no turbulence, admiring the few freckles and lines that were littered across her perfect face. She needed the rest, having been so anxious about this trip and her upcoming tournaments that the stress had almost permanently darkened under her eyes.

With her hand in yours, you soon followed her in sleep.

July 17th, 2020 - Perth, Australia

"I need to shake off the jetlag, wanna go for a walk?"

You turned suddenly as she called from the bathroom, walking out and drying her hair.

"Mum said they redid the park up the road, good field for soccer... We can practice some more if you'd like?" She asked, almost nervously. You had requested Sam start teaching you more about the game; a role she took very seriously. She was showing you all the tricks she'd learnt, even trying her hardest not to laugh when you fell flat on your ass several times in a row.

The two of you set off just before golden hour, navigating the streets of Fremantle to the park. Sam's hand was in yours the whole time, the other holding the soccer ball close to her hip - she was being so protective other the goddamn thing.

"I'll stand here, we'll just go back and forth until you get your confidence up."

She was taking several steps back away from you, positioning the ball at her feet before kicking it towards you.

"You know this is the one you gave me, right?"

You kicked it back, reciprocating.

"God, you're such a sap... Love you for it, though." She only laughed, winking as she did so. Even after 4 years, she still made you blush like you were 15.

The both of you continued, going though the motions until Sam decided to give it a forceful kick, landing it far behind you.

"Hey! What was that for?"

"Sorry, love. Rules of the game; she who missed must go fetch."

"That's not even- Oh, whatever"

You ran off as Sam followed behind you - why was she moving from her spot? That's when you noticed it.

"Hey dummy, this isn't even the ball I gave you - I used black maker on mine." You jokingly shouted back, picking it up to hold it by your side. "Got some fangirl groupies to replace me, huh? Can't believe you thought I used red marker."

She stood a few metres away from you, a small smirk on her face.

"Why don't you read it then, genius?"

You looked down, confused. What was she playing at?

Marry me?

It was written neatly in red marker, a giant heart below it - just like the one you first gifted Sam at her party all those years ago. You looked up, only to be met with the sight of Sam on one knee in front of you, a small blue box in her hands.

"Well?"

She had tears in her eyes, but her smirk remained.

You were still speechless, the red words echoing in your brain. She wanted you to marry her. She wanted you to be her wife. You sank to your knees to be level with her, gently grabbing her face to pull her in for a kiss.

You could feel her smiling against your lips, sliding the ring on your finger wordlessly as your mouth met hers.

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xspeter · 11 months ago

Text

𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 (𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡)

𐬺 ➾ 𝙎𝙖𝙢 𝙒𝙞𝙣𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙭 𝙛𝙚𝙢!𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

𐬺 ➾ 𝙒𝘾: 5.2𝙠

𐬺 ➾ 𝙎𝙖𝙢 𝙒𝙞𝙣𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙝𝙞𝙢. 𝙍𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩?

The cabin sat at the edge of the lake, surrounded by bright green trees and singing birds. The wood was old and creaky and moss was begging to grow from the roof- but you still considered it to be your second home.

Really, everything about it was perfect! The lake and the short drive to the bustling town on the outskirts of Michigan- being able to spend uninterrupted time with your family... it was just perfect.

Except for one tiny detail.

Sam Winchester.

The Winchesters were apparently long-time family friends, and so they accompanied you every summer. Really, you liked them, Mary and John Winchester had always been kind to you and treated you like their own. Dean Winchester had become nothing short but a friend to you, and someone you enjoyed spending time with.

But Sam... he knew how to push your buttons, and he made sure to do it whatever chance he got.

Your mutual hatred didn't really start until the summer you turned six, when Sam had suddenly decided girls had cooties and therefore you were not allowed to play with him.

"Get away!" Sam yells, he sticks his tongue out at you and continues to run through the bustling forest. He nearly smacks into a tree, but is able to narrowly dodge it.

"Stop being so mean!" You cry out, chasing behind him. Eventually, you both reach the lake. You nearly trip on the yellow sand as he runs up the dock, but eventually you are able to catch up with him.

Sam realizes he's cornered as he glances at the water on either side of him. He swallows and looks at you, your hair styled in two messy braids at your shoulders.

"I don't have cooties!" You yell. Sam crosses his arms over his chest, "Yes, you do. You're a girl, and girls have cooties." He retorts sassily.

You ball your tiny hands into fists at your side, "Oh, yeah? Well girls are smarter than boys anyway! And I don't wanna be friends with a smelly boy!"

Sam's eyes go wide, "I'm not smelly!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"What're you two yellin' about over 'ere?" Dean, Sam's older brother, asks you two. You aren't sure just when he had joined the two of you, but you don't really care.

"She said i'm smelly!" Sam cries, running past you to the comfort of his older brother. Dean huffs out a laugh as you stutter out an excuse. "Boys are smelly sammy, it's just how the world works." He says.

Sam's jaw drops as he watches your face morph into an approving smile.

"But, that doesn't mean girls don't smell either." Dean says cheekily. Your face drops immediately, and sam smiles from ear to ear as he sticks his tongue out at you.

Dean grabs Sam's tiny hand in one hand and yours in the other, effectively dragging the both of you back into the house to get cleaned up for dinner. You and Sam spend the whole walk making faces at each other behind Deans back.

The summer you turned eight you had effectively grown taller then Sam, and you used it to your every advantage.

"Give it back!" Sam huffed out, reaching for his half eaten granola bar that you held just out of his reach.

"Nope!" You laughed. Sam grit his teeth as he backed away from you. You, thinking he had finally given up, effectively drop your hand and take a bite out of the bar.

Sam's vision practically goes red as he charges at you. The both of you fall to the floor, the granola bar long forgotten as it tumbles to the ground somewhere.

The two of you begin to scuffle. Sam pulls your hair and you smack at his lanky arms, the both of you cursing each other out with the worst insults you could think of. "You're such a poop head!" Sam grunted.

You finally manage to push him off of you, and out of breath you retort, "Well you're a booty hole!" Sam rolls his eyes and stalks off, and you rub at the skin where Sam had pinched you just a little too hard.

That night, dinner was tense. At least, it was between the two of you. Your parents were getting along fine and Dean was silently enjoying his food.

But you and Sam continued to stare daggers at each other. To an eight year old you, Sam was practically the devil reincarnated.

You finally break eye contact with the brunette boy and pick up your fork to begin to eat some peas off your plate, but you're interrupted by something smacking your forehead.

You look down to your lap where the weapon had fallen, and are met with a tiny green ball. You grit your teeth and throw it right back at Sam, ultimately starting an all out food fight.

Sam throws it back at you, and in retaliation, you throw a piece of your chicken. Your parents hadn't noticed yet, but you can see an amused looking Dean watching the two of out of the corner of your eye.

You and Sam continue to throw food at eachother, until eventually one of you stands and begins to grab handfuls. Suddenly, your innocent food fight turned into a full fledged war.

"Sam!" Mary yells out.

Your father comes up behind you and lifts you away as Sam's father does the same to him. The two of you attempt to fight your parents off of you, but their grip is to strong.

The summer you turned ten, you and Sam were at the same height. Dean was fourteen, and thus had discovered the concept of girls.

He would bring around a curly-haired girl from town named Dina, and you and Sam made it your life mission to be her favorite.

"Hi Dina!" You yelled out from the lake where you and Sam were swimming. (With your parents watching of course, they didn't quite trust the two of you not to drown each other yet.)

"Hey Y/N, hey Sam! Hope the two of you don't mind if I join you." She smiled as Dean trailed behind her. They set their towels down on the sand and carefully tiptoed their way into the warm, misty water.

You and Sam raced towards her, both determined to reach her first. Sam noticed you gaining on him, and grabbed your shoulders to dunk you under the water. You came up with a gasp, your hair sticking to your forehead. Sam snorted as he swam next to a concerned Dina.

"Are you okay, Y/N?" She asked. You plastered on a smile and nodded, "I'm perfect!" You exclaimed, pushing the hair away from your eyes.

Quickly you swam over to them, happy to see Dina scolding Sam about being too rough with you. Sam took the scolding half-heartily, he'd been hearing it from his parents practically his whole life.

"Yeah, Sam, don't be so mean to me you Dingus." You said with faux sadness, a frown plastered on your face. But Sam could see right through your little game.

"Well, Dina, I only do it 'cause...” He lets out a dramatic sniffle, “She makes fun of me." He sighs out sadly. You scoff, "I only do it because you do it!"

Sam furrows his eyebrows and shakes his head, "No I don't!"

"Yes you do!"

The two of you continued to bicker back and forth, and Dina whispered quietly to Dean, "Are they always like this?" She asked, confused. Dean shrugged, "Pretty much, yeah."

Once you were fourteen your parents started to let you go into town by yourselves, as long as you promised to stay together.

Sam had grown way taller then you at this point, practically towering over you. He was still a little bit lanky though, and his hair had grown to an awkward length.

The both of you walked silently into the town. Usually, Dean would come with you to break the tension, but he was apparently busy with some date today.

"I wanna go to the mall." You say. Sam rolls his eyes, "No. I wanna go to the arcade." He argues. You drop your hands at your sides and glare at him, a frown growing onto your face. "We went to the arcade yesterday."

Sam shrugs, "Well I wanna go again." He says nonchalantly, beginning to walk to the direction of the gaming center.

You quickly walk in front of him, effectively blocking his path, "We agreed that we would do something you wanted one day, and then something I wanted the next." You huff, "Well it's my turn to pick, and I say we go to the mall." Sam throws his head back in annoyance, "Fine." He groans.

You smile cheekily and practically skip your way to the shopping center. Your mother had given you twenty dollars to buy your self something nice, and you were determined to use it wisely.

Sam followed you around like a lost puppy, occasionally looking at some pieces of clothing. "What do you think of this?" You ask him, holding up a flowy baby pink dress against your frame. He shrugs, " 'S nice I guess.." He mumbles.

You roll your eyes, "Well that's not helpful."

The brunette boy turns away from you, attempting to hide his red cheeks. Sam would be a liar if he said he didn't think you were beautiful, but he would rather die then ever tell you that.

"I think i'm gonna get it." You mumble to yourself, and Sam hums in acknowledgment as you walk up to the cashier. The lady happily takes your dress and makes small talk with you, but Sam doesn't listen. Instead, he find himself staring at your side profile.

Over the years Sam has learned every line and curve of your face, even if he hadn't noticed he was doing it. When you buy the dress, Sam can see the way the corners of your eyes crinkle just a little bit, indicating to him that you're feeling happy.

"Thank you!" You say gleefully, a kind and warm smile on your face as you grab the bag containing your dress.

The two of you walk home in a familiar silence. Sam glances at you occasionally, and you pretend you don't notice.

Eventually, after he's looked at you for the thousandth time, you furrow your brows and begin to pat at your face. "Do I have something on me? You question clearly annoyed. “Why do you keep looking at me?" You ask.

Sam's cheeks flush at being caught, but he's quick to retort, "I was just trying to see if that was mud on your face or if that's really how you look."

You frown and shoot him a glare, "It's makeup you asshole." You growl. You had just started wearing makeup this summer, and you were already a tad bit insecure about it. Sam's jab just makes you more self conscious.

Sam grimaces, "Why are you wearing that crap?" He questions cautiously. He doesn't want you to think he cares (he does), but he was curious.

You shrug, your lips straightening into a thin line, "Because I wanted to." You say nonchalantly. Sam bites his lip and stuffs his hands in his pockets, "Well... I think you're prettier without it." He mumbles shyly.

Immediately he regrets it- this was uncharted territory that he wasn't quite sure he was ready to cross into just yet.

Your eyes go wide and a light blush coats your neck and cheeks, you smile and your eyes twinkle with something Sam can't register. "Do you really mean that?" You question hopefully.

Sam swallows, "No." He says cheekily, "You look weird either way."

Your face drops and Sam feels a pang in his chest but he chooses to ignore it. Your eyes immediately start to glaze over with an onset of tears, and you push him away from you. Sam hadn't even noticed he'd started drifting so close to you.

"You're a real dick, you know that?" You sniffle, you quickly quicken your pace and walk in front of the boy. "I really hate you." You mumble to yourself, but Sam hears it, and it leaves a strain on his heart.

Later that night, you were in your shared bathroom with the boys wiping your makeup off, a set of fresh tears attempting to roll down your cheeks.

You weren't sure why what Sam said had hurt you so badly. The both of you always said shit like that to each other, so why did you care so much this time?

A knock at the door makes you jump, and you open it cautiously. The last thing you want right now is to deal with Sam. To your relief, the face you're met with is one you'd gladly welcome.

"Hey, Dean." You smile warmly, sniffing away any remaining evidence of your crying. Dean's frowns as he inspects your face, "What happened, Squirt?" He questions.

Your lower lip wobbles as you look at the floor. Him asking you that just makes all the feelings bubble back to the surface. "It's stupid." You mumble.

Dean shakes his head and leans against the doorframe. "It's not stupid if it's makin' you cry."

You bite your lip and shrug, "Sam just said somethin' that hurt my feelings, it doesn't even matter."

Dean frowns, "Want me to beat him up?" He asks seriously. You laugh and shake your head at his antics, "You know I do."

Dean threatening to beat up Sam anytime he was mean to you had become an ongoing joke between the two of you, you'd always reply that, yes, you did want him to beat him up.

"Look," Dean sighs, "You know Sam doesn't actually hate you, right?"

You kissed your teeth. You know Deans only trying to help, but he doesn't understand yours and Sam's dynamic. To everyone else, you are the sweetest people alive. But, you just hated each other- always had- so there was no point in trying to pretend you were secretly in love or something, because you weren't.

You gave Dean a tight-lipped smile and bid him a quick goodnight, wanting nothing more then to forget about the days events and just go to sleep.

Sam on the other hand, couldn't stop thinking about the way your smile had dropped and how your eyes began to fill with oncoming tears. He felt horrible, but he couldn't for the life of him understand why.

It wasn't like this was the first time he'd teased you about the way you looked, you'd even done the same to him! So why was it so different this time?

He sighed and rubbed at his eyes with the heel of his palm. He didn't like how complicated everything was getting.

By the time the both of you were sixteen and finally able to drive yourself places, you had gone from hating each other, to loathing each other.

You hated the way he licked his lips constantly, or how his nails were always bit to the quick. You hated the way his hair fell just right and how his eyes had beautiful grey flecks in them. Not that you noticed any of those kinds of things.

You twisted the phone line between your freshly painted fingersnails, happy to finally be able to talk to someone who wasn't Sam or Dean.

"You've gotta admit though, Sam’s smoking hot!" Your best friend, Kelly, giggles girlishly. You fake gag, "He so is not! He's a total douche! Besides, even if he was hot, which he's not, I would rather drink acid than date him."

Kelly gives you a sarcastic 'mhm' and gives her best impression of you, "Oh no! My names Y/N and i'm forced to go to my lake house every summer with two super hot brothers! Whatever will I do!"

You roll your eyes, "Yeah, yeah. You know, i'm telling you if you got to know Sam you wouldn't think he was so hot anymore." You say matter-of-factly. Kelly mutters a 'whatever' and quickly changes the subject.

"So how's that guy you've been seeing?" She asks. You squeal, your smile growing wider by the second.

You had met a guy in town just two weeks before. His name was Blake and he had a beautiful beach body along with perfectly tan skin. His hair was blonde and wild and he had the most charming smile.

"He's so nice! He's like- like a dream come true honestly. Did I tell you that he bought me flowers the other day?" You ask excitedly. Kelly shakes her head enthusiastically, though you can't see it. "No! You didn't tell me that!" She gasps, "Oh, he's so totally into you!"

"I know!"

The two of you continue to giggle about your new boyfriend who isn't your boyfriend quite yet. Right now, Blake is the first boy who has ever shown real interest in you, and for a sixteen year old girl, that means the world.

Sam on the other hand, couldn't be less enthusiastic. He's heard rumors about Blake from Dean. Apparently, he liked to screw around.

Against his own better judgement, Sam picks up the landline in his room so he can Eavesdrop on your conversation.

"He's so nice Kelly. And he's taking me out to some fancy restaurant tonight." You giggled. Sam's eyebrows furrowed as he registered the information. "What restaurant is it? Have I heard of it?" She asks.

"It's some place called Bennys or Bevvys or... something like that."

Sam immediately saved the information in his brain. He wasn't going to stalk you per se, this was all just so he could make sure Blake didn't do anything to hurt you. Not that he cared.

The boy continues listening intently to your conversation, hoping to catch any more details about your supposed date tonight. He is throughly disappointed as you and Kelly quickly change the topic to the newest Leonardo Dicaprio movie.

He carefully places the phone back into the wall, and quickly makes his way to Deans room. Dean had turned twenty just this year, but college had tired him out. During the school year his skin had been paler then sam had ever seen it before, and his eye bags all the more prominent. So he was glad to be met with Deans usual boyish glow.

"Hey, you wanna help me with somethin' tonight?" Sam questions. He leans against the door frame and watches as Dean drops the dumbbell he had been curling onto the ground. "What with?" Dean questions.

Sam smiles mischievously, "Help me ruin Y/N's date."

Dean immediately refuses, but Sam had prepared for that. He shook his head as Dean began to rant about how stupid your guys rivalry was. "She's going with Blake Thompson." He interrupts.

Dean immediately goes silent, takes a breath, then says, "Let me change my clothes."

The brothers silently ride in Deans pride and joy, his 1967 Chevy Impala he had named 'Baby'. You had suggested the name after you and the mothers had finished another rerun of 'Dirty Dancing', and Dean not knowing any better, took the name in stride.

They were both dressed in suits, attempting to look the part of two rich guys going out for a causal dinner at the most expensive restaurant in town.

"So, do you even know where we're supposed to be going?" Dean questions, "Or are we just gonna drive around and hope we find them?" Sam glares at Dean and purses his lips, "They're going to Benny's."

Dean whistles, his eyes widening slightly, "Man, I knew that shit head was filthy rich." He laughs out. Sam rolls his eyes and rests his head against the window.

Dean glances at the boy out of the corner of his eye, his hands drumming against the wheel in a smooth rhythm. "So..." He says cautiously, "You like Y/N?"

Sam practically shoots up out of his seat, his eyes wide and jaw hung open. "No!" He insists, "I hate her."

Dean nods dramatically, "I forgot you look out for people you hate, that was my bad." He says sarcastically.

Sam crosses his arms over his chest, turning his head to stare out the window. "I'm not- looking out for her-" He swallows, "I'm just... just-" He stammers, wracking his brain for an excuse.

Was he looking out for you? Why would he even want to do that in the first place? He hates you.

Right?

Dean sighs and purses his lips, his hands stop their movements and instead opt to grip the wheel steadily. "Sam, you have to admit that maybe somewhere along the way of you guys pretending to hate each other, you started to maybe... sorta... like her."

Sam goes silent at that. He leans against the seat, his fingers picking at the skin around his fingernails, a nervous habit.

He didn't like you. At all. He hated how competitive you got on family game nights. He hated how you pursued your lips when you really focused on something. He hated the stupid freckles and moles that dotted your body. He hated how hot he felt when you'd accidentally brush up against him. He hated you.

He fucking hated you.

Sam doesn't even notice when the car stops, the bright neon sign indicating they’d arrived at the restaurant lighting up the cars interior. "So, what's the plan?" Dean asks. Sam shrugs, he hadn't really thought that far.

"I mean... I don't know." He mumbles. He was starting to regret this. This date wasn't any of his business, and he had no real reason to even be there.

Dean scoffs and throws his head against the seat, "You don't know?" He asks unbelievably. Sam bites his lip, wracking his brain for any idea on how to do this without hurting you. Not that he cared, obviously.

Finally, he settles his mind on a perfect plan. He opens the door and signals for Dean to do the same. As he and Dean walk into the restaurant, he explains his idea. Dean considers it for a moment, but ultimately decides it's the best idea they've got.

The boys walk in as casually as possible, doing their best to make it seem like they belong there. Sam immediately searches the premise for you, and he finally spots you right as the hostess approaches them.

Dean flirts with the girl, giving Sam enough time to sneak off under the premise of 'going to the bathroom.'

He eyes a smiling and blushing you sitting in the corner of the restaurant. You're playing with your straw, a nervous habit you'd had since you were young. Blake's face on the other hand, shows no emotion other then lust. How you hadn't realized this guy just wanted to get in your pants, Sam wasn't sure of.

He quickly approached your table and scoots in next to you. You jump at first, your eyes widening. Sam just smiles at a confused Blake and a fuming you.

"What the hell are you doing here?" You asked angrily. Sam furrowed his eyes brows and leaned his elbows against the table. He gives you a questioning look, "What does it look like i'm doing?" He asks innocently.

"It looks like you're trying to pull an asshole move, and i'd really appreciate it if you would leave." You seethe. Blake clears his throat, and immediately the both of you snap your heads towards him.

"Um, Who's this?" He asks, a disgusted look on his face.

"No one-"

"A friend-"

The both of you immediately glance at each other. You smile nervously and shake your head, "It doesn't matter, he was just leaving." You mutter, attempting to push Sam out of the seat, but he doesn't budge.

"So, Blake," He says with faux cheerfulness, "How's Katherine?"

Blake's eyes go wide at that and the color drains from his face. Your eyebrows furrow, eyes darting across Blake's face. "Who's Katherine?" You ask.

Blake stumbles over his words, attempting to come up with an excuse, but Sam beats him to it. "Oh you didn't know?" He asks. "Katherine's his girlfriend! She's visiting her grandparents right now though. She should be getting back next week, right Blake?" Sam asks innocently.

Blake hangs his head in shame and mumbles out a "Yes." Your jaw is hanging open by this point, hurt filling your features.

"Oh." You swallow, a dam of tears threatening to spill from your eyes. "I- I think I should get going." You say shakily. Sam quickly stands from the booth, allowing you to exit.

"Really great to see you, Blake. Let's catch up soon, yeah?" Sam says, his smile straining. Blake doesn't respond, instead he opts to glare daggers at Sam instead. Sam shrugs him off and follows behind you as you practically run out of the restaurant.

Dean is waiting in the car for the two of you, concern filling his features as he watches you exit. Sam follows closely behind you, he gives Dean a look that says 'don't be a dick.'

You quickly hop into your rightful place in the backseat, slamming the door shut. Dean doesn't scold you for it like he normally does, but instead gives you a tight lipped smile.

The car ride back to the house is filled with silence along with the occasional sniffle or two from you. Sam and Dean glance at each other every now and then, neither of them knowing just how to comfort you, or if you even want comforting.

When you arrive to the house you're quick to run around the back, and Sam immediately knows where you're going. Sam debates going after you, but eventually settles against it. The last person you want to be comforted by is him, right?

He begins walking up the stairs into the house, but Dean grabs his arm and stops him. "Where the hell are you goin'?"

Sam scoffs out a confused laugh, "Inside...?" He says confusedly. Dean shakes his head, "No, no- You're gonna go out back and comfort Y/N."

Sam swallows, "She doesn't want that from me-" He begins to argue, but Dean interrupts him with an annoyed sigh. "If you don't get your ass back there in five seconds, i'll hit you."

Sam puts his hands up in mock surrender, a hushed "okay, okay" being whispered under his breath. Dean smiles approvingly and pats him on the back as Sam nervously walks down the path that leads to the docks.

He can see your silhouette sitting at the edge of the dock, your feet hanging off into the water and your shoes next to you. He can hear how your sniffles and cries get louder as he approaches, and he immediately regrets walking down here. He goes to turn around and leave you alone, but you notice his presence before he can.

"What’re you doin’ back here?" You mumble. Sam swallows and takes a seat next to you, he takes his shoes off and places them to the side, rolls his pant legs up, and slips his feet into the icy water.

"I jus’ wanted to see if you were okay." He whispers. You scoff, your arms crossing over your chest as your feet swish in the water.

The both of you sit in an uncomfortable silence. Sam has absolutely no idea how to even talk to you without saying something snarky, and he's sure it's probably the same for you.

"Can I ask you something?" You eventually question, glancing at Sam from the corner of your eye. Sam nods, scratching his arm nervously, "Uh, yeah. Yeah, go ahead."

"Why... why do you hate me?" You mumble quietly. You keep your eyes on the water, too nervous to seem Sam's reaction to the question.

"Well, that's easy." He says. “I hate how annoying and insufferable you are- and I hate it when you act like you're better than me. Oh! I really hate it when you act like family game nights are life or death, because let me tell you, they're never that serious."

You scoff and shove him lightly, "Yes they are! I would rather die than lose to you and Dean."

Sam rolls his eyes and throws a hand up, "I'm not finished." Your eyes widen as you throw your hands up in surrender, "My bad."

He clears his throat, "I hate it when you make me go shopping with you or drag me places. I hate when you laugh so hard your face gets red and you start snorting, but then you make it worse because you try to stop it and it just comes out as this... half-snort half-wheeze sound." He shudders, and you chuckle under your breath.

"I hate it when you sing off tune in the shower. I hate how your eyes get all wide whenever you see a stray cat on the street and you force us to stop the car and pull over just so you can try to pet it...” He swallows.

A pregnant pause fills the space between you, and you assume he’d finished his rant, but he continues. “I… I hate it when we go back home to Kansas at the end of August, and I know I won’t be able to see you for another year, because sometimes I forget how to function without you there to tell me off.” He confesses. Your eyes widen as you try to process his words.

“I hate when you get crushes on guys who don’t deserve you in the slightest. It makes me so unbearably mad.” He mutters.

“Sam…” You mumble, eyes beginning to well with tears.

“I hate when I can hear you crying in your room and I can’t comfort you. Really, I hate it when you’re anything other than happy if i’m being completely honest.” He shrugs, “I hate that even though I want to despise you with everything I have, I can’t.” He finally looks at your shocked face. The tears have started to roll down your cheeks at this point, and regret immediately fills his chest.

“Oh, God, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have fucking said any of that.” He pulls his feet out of the water and grabs his shoes, attempting to make an escape, but you grab his arm and pull him back down next to you.

“Sam.” You sniffle, “Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”

Sam stammers for a second, “Because… because you hate me.”

You shake your head so fast he’s sure you’ll get whiplash, “I don’t hate you. God, I don’t think I ever have hated you.” You whimper.

Sam bites the inside of his cheek, his eyes darting across every curve of your face. “Then why…?”

You laugh and cup his cheeks, “Because I thought you hated me.”

Something in Sam’s head clicks as he realizes just how stupid the two of you really are. He suddenly lets out a boyish giggle, “We’re idiots aren’t we?”

You’re interrupted by a whistle behind you. You both turn to see a gleaming Dean, “ ‘Bout time the two of you came clean. I was gettin’ tired of listenin’ to you guys complain’ about each other.”

You and Sam just smile, cheeks turning a light pink.

So, yeah, you hated Sam Winchester.

But, sometimes hate is just another word for something else entirely, isn’t it?

#sam winchester x reader #sam winchester #dean winchester #supernatural x reader #supernatural #fluff #enemies #enemies to lovers #fem reader #tad bit of angst

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hella1975 · 1 year ago

Text

WHAT JUST HAPPENED

about to play thoroughfare in the car with my dad 🙏🏼

#got 10 seconds into thoroughfare and he went 'i like this!' HELLO????#like yes i manipulated the situation i purposely put on the ethel song i thought would both break him in gently while still being something #that i know for a fact he would like but i was still kinda expecting him to just not acknowledge it?#like i have a bit of a thing with my dad and music like we all know im a freak about music #but a lot of my taste comes from stuff my dad listens to bc his taste in music is and always has been amazing #and it's one thing he knows a LOT about like we are both just undoubtedly neurodivergent about music #so regardless of my bitter 'i dont need him!' attitude towards my dad i still really really crave his approval with music #like i sit there and casually put my music on and go 'oh yeah' when he points out that it's good #but in reality i painstakingly made a queue before getting in the car and the moment he says even one thing im like !!!!!#which is sooo embarrassing but anyway. so the moment he said he liked thoroughfare i was already chuffed to bits like that was enough for m #BUT i know my dad i know he's a freak at heart that likes weird narratives so i decided to take a risk #(and also did just get too excited about precher's daughter like it couldnt be helped)#and i explained the album to him BRIEFLY. like 'its about an abused preacher's daughter who runs away from home #and tries to find love in bad men and one of them kills and cannibalises her. there's religious trauma'#and he did the very dad 'wtf' reaction at first but i could SEE id caught his attention like i KNOW my dad finds odd shit interesting #he's just like me fr and do you know what he said? 'remind me to listen to her properly when we get home' what. WHAT #HE SAID HE REALLY LOVES HER VOICE AND FOUND HER COMPELLING. HE'S A DAUGHTER OF CAIN WHAT THE FUCKKKK #HE HAS NEVER DONE THAT ABOUT ANY ARTIST IVE EVER SHOWN HIM #I LITERALLY ACTIVELY TOLD HIM TO LISTEN TO SAM FENDER AND HE STILL DIDNT #ALL I DID HERE WAS PUT THOROUGHFARE ON AND HE VOLUNTEERED TO LISTEN TO MORE BC HE LIKED IT SO MUCH #I CANNOT EXPRESS HOW BATSHIT THAT IS THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE #OF COURSE IT WAS ETHEL I /KNEW/ HED LIKE HER I FUCKING SAID SO #i win again <3 #ethel cain #hella goes home

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slvtforfiction · 11 months ago

Note

How about meeting Jakes family for the first time? Maybe for the holidays since they’re coming up 👀

Family ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

☆ AHHHH

☆ Anon lots of love <3

☆ Jake Webber X Reader ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

☆ Fluff ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

☆ MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

☆ Masterlist

☆ Part 2

☆ Hey guys! Before anything else I would ask you to request anything you want because I've lost a lot of motivation and it would really help! :D

Creds to @cafekitsune for dividers :)

“Hey love?” Jake called out as I sat in the living room watching YouTube. “I’m in the living room!” I shouted unaware of where he was.

“Can I ask you something?” He said looking at me gently, “Yeah sure what’s up?” I said,pausing the tv and turning to look at him.

“Do you want to go to my parents this year? Like we can go there for Christmas dinner?” He asked and my eyes lit up. “Yes!” I said excitedly.

This wasn’t my first Christmas with Jake,we had been dating for a little over 3 years and I was excited to be a bigger part of his life.

The holidays had been long awaited,Christmas especially. Our apartment was decorated by late November and hot chocolates and late night drives became more regular.

The Christmas tree me and Jake had decorated was beautiful,the golden silver colours lit up the room and the flowers were set on the kitchen island.

“You’re excited,huh?” He said teasingly, “I’ve always liked Christmas,im just happy I get to spend the time with you.” I said softly smiling up at him.

“What you watching?” He asked and I looked at the screen then back at him “One of Sam and Colby’s videos.” I said smiling up at him as he sat down next to me,cuddling up with me under my blankets.

“So this is it.” I said smiling at him as we knocked on his parents door. They quickly opened it,clearly happy to see me.

“Hi!” I said smiling at his parents as they invited me and Jake in.I looked around their house and it was beautiful,stunning even.

“Hi! How are you? You must be this Y/n we’ve been hearing about!” His mum replied smiling at me contently.

“Yeah! I must say I love your house it’s so beautiful.” I said to her as I shook her hand.

“Awh thank you dear.” She said smiling at me. “Would you like to help me in the kitchen?” She asked and I smiled back at her “Yeah,ofcourse!” I replied happily.

Jake pulled out my chair as I sat down with him sitting next to me,I looked down the table seeing the rest of his family members,conversing with a few.

“This looks amazing,thank you mum.” Jake smiled at her “Oh no,thank Y/n she’s a wizz in the kitchen you know!” She said smiling whilst looking at both of us as me and Jake laughed to ourselves.

“Awh thank you but honestly it was all you.” I said laughing to myself as everyone began to load up their plates.

I dug into my meal as I spoke to everyone around me,Jake occasionally giving me encouraging glances.

“So how did you two meet?” His mum asked and everyone glanced over at me,I looked over at Jake and he smiled at me taking my hand in his,his mum asked us almost every time she saw us and it was sweet to relive the story.

“He was filming a YouTube video and our friend invited me to be in it and honestly the rest is history.” I giggled to myself.

I remembered the video vividly when Johnnie invited me I smiled and took the chance to meet his friends.

The video consisted of truth or dare where Jake practically learnt everything about me and before I left I had managed to get his number and Johnnies approval.

“That’s sweet.” His mum and dad said in unison and me and Jake agreed.I smiled as I ate the food,the smell alone enough to make me hungry. I sipped on the white wine which had been placed infront of me.

The table was full of family and close friends,the faint music in the background and the occasional conversation as we all dug into our meals.

Jake spared glances my way occasionally smiling at me with hearts in his eyes. Our relationship was the talk of the table and I smiled shyly as we were discussed.

Jake told me it would happen and it was nothing bad,just the slight feeling of attention made me shy.

I smiled as we finished the dinner,helping his mum wash up the dishes as we spoke and then got the dessert ready to bring in.

We walked into the dining room with plates of Christmas pudding and handed them out,occasionally going back to the kitchen to grab more plates.

I sat back down next to Jake and smiled at his as I picked up my fork and dug into the pudding,as everyone around us seemed to do the same.

I smiled at Jake’s mum and said a polite thank you as she smiled back at me taking another bite of her food as I did the same.

Jake finished up his plate,as did I and then we announced we had presents in the car and we were going out to get them.

We went out to the car and quickly grabbed the presents as we walked back into the house afterwards,our arms entwined with presents.

We nudged open the door and began to hand out the gifts ; which everyone seemed to like.

Me and Jake snuggled together in bed after a long day ; visiting our families,the long drive to their house etc.

“Hey,I got you something but I wanted to give it to you when we were alone.” He told me and he removed his arms from around me and ruffled around in his underwear draw for a moment.

He came and sat down on the edge of the bed and I asked what it was,he got down on one knee opening the little box.

The ring was beautiful,three diamonds edged in the front,the rest of the band being silver.

I quickly sat up in bed looking at him, “Y/n,will you take me to be your husband?” He asked me and I almost jumped on top of him as I hugged him and shed a few tears of happiness.

“Yes!” I yelled out and he kissed my cheek putting the ring onto my hand.

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p-redux · 5 months ago

Text

Well, folks, the day has finally come, I'm so angry about something, I can barely speak, let alone write. But write I will...

Here goes. I, Purv, in NO WAY, approve of Bcac's blog or her. It has come to my attention that after Bcac's account was deactivated by Tumblr and then quickly reactivated, she made this mention of me. 👇

First of all, what I said I said privately in a DM. If I had wanted to offer public support, I would have. I thought my DM conversations were private, apparently not. The person I DMed with has already apologized to me for betraying my confidence. Secondly, just because I said Bcac shouldn't lose her account does NOT mean I'm cool with her or her blog. I said in DM that I didn't think Bcac should have lost her blog, but because I think everyone should have freedom of speech, in general. That's it.

But now Bcac has taken what I said privately and weaponized it to try to legitimize herself with those other than the Sam-haters and Purv-haters she surrounds herself with. And THAT I'm VERY upset about.

Bcac has toned down her blatant displays of Sam hate because she realizes she has a captive audience of Sam fans who are waiting on his every move. And she provides that for them. But let me be VERY CLEAR, Bcac has disdain for Sam Heughan. And, she welcomes people who have disdain for him on her blog. And people who have disdain for me. She regularly commiserates with and allows comments from KNOWN Sam haters. They have harassed and bullied Sam and talked sh*t about the women he dates for years.

Here's a quick sampling of MANY examples, showing Bcac talking badly about Sam and allowing others to. 👇

Aside from the Sam-haters that Bcac welcomes on her blog, she also welcomes those who have made MY life hell for years and years. I recognize so many names from the past. People who harassed me all day and even tried to dox me. That's who flocks to Bcac's blog. Sam-haters, Purv-haters, don't be fooled thinking that's not the case. I can name names if anyone is interested in DM.

Bcac herself has talked sh*t about me privately and publicly on her blog. Here's a quick example of her making fun of me and also putting Sam down in the process. 👇

Here she is continuing to put me down, even making fun of my eye issues! 👇

Like I said, this is only the tip of the iceberg of Bcac and her followers mocking me. And she's toned it down significantly because she knows many of my followers now look at her blog too.

So, yes, I don't think Bcac should have had her blog deactivated, but ONLY because I believe in freedom of speech. Even for b*tches who talk sh*t about Sam and about me. And make no mistake, Bcac and her minions are b*tches. They're just hiding it better these days. Except for the blogger who shared my DM, she's not a b*tch. But I will be parting ways since I can no longer trust her. Silly me, I thought it was possible for someone to be best friends with Bcac and also be friendly with me. I should know better after 10 years in this Godforsaken fandom.

Tumblr only lets you post 10 pics, but if anyone is interested in more crap Bcac has posted about me or Sam, hit me up in DM, and I'll show you.

So, today is the day I draw the line in the sand. I don't want to ever hear Bcac's name or anyone associated with her. Why would I want anything to do with someone who puts me down? I'm not going to tolerate that. No one should. Soooo, anyone who is chummy to me on my blog, but then I get wind you're also chummy with Bcac, will get blocked. I'm done with this bullsh*t. I get it, she finds out Sam's every move and people want that info. So, go ahead and get it from her. But, you won't ALSO be able to stay on my blog. Am I making people pick sides? Absofuckinglutely. If that means I lose a lot of followers. So be it. I've decided I'd rather have no followers than two-faced people. I like Sam and I like myself. She doesn't like Sam and she doesn't like me. You can't be okay with her and her sh*t talking of me, and be okay with me. It's impossible. Simple as that.

Those of the more reasonable calm, Switzerland type personalities may not understand my choice. Those of the passionate, take a stand, have your back no matter what persuasion, will understand. Maybe it's my Italian blood, maybe, I've put up with too much betrayal and bullsh*t in this fandom. It is what it is. And what it is...is that I'll leave this post up for a few days for people to read it, and then I'll start blocking people. So, if you find yourself not being able to see my blog, you'll know why.

Again, this is not me being upset over some minor disagreement or Bcac constantly accusing me of stealing her stuff (funny, how a few days ago, SHE stole two exclusive pics I got of the Outlander cast at the Taylor Swift concert, but whatever), THIS is because she has said and says horrible things about me and about Sam. Obviously, she does it more in private now since she wants to keep her Sam fan followers. And so many eat her info up, not knowing she's secretly laughing about you in DMs with the Sam haters. I'm done turning a blind eye to it. And I want people to know how toxic she is to Sam. And to me. And that she used what I said about her blog in a very misleading way to make herself look good. "Look, even Purv thought I should have my blog back, I must be okay." Nope, don't get it twisted, sister. And the industry people in L.A. I know who know Sam personally were made aware a long time ago about all the Sam hate blogs, which means Sam was too. Those liking, reblogging, or commenting on Bcac's posts are guilty by association. JS.

For those who have supported me all these years, you mean the world to me. Loyalty is everything, so thank you. ❤️

PS. So much for not writing a long ass post. 🤷‍♀️

#purv #p-redux #sam heughan #sam haters #bcacstuff

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