#YEAH IM LOSING MY MIND
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OH MY GOD HE IS SO BEAUTIFUL 😭 LIKE HOW DO YOU GO OUT THERE LOOKING LIKE THAT
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KXKSKSKSIJAJAAKAJAJJSJSJKSSKLWOFOFK 8 HOURS IXJSKSNALZNAUQPWL!!!
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ahahah
—“autumn”
jann mardenborough x fem!reader
summary: how many anniversaries could we actually get through ?
warnings: angst. read at your own risk
a/n: this has always been my favourite type of trope so rest assured, im totally fine and so excited to have written one myself (yippee😆)
“But you stuck around when I was down. And I'll owe you all my days”
anniversaries.
anniversaries is such a pure concept. a reminder of the exact day the paths of two stray souls intersect, a reminder for the beginning of a story, a reminder that maybe the universe isn’t pawning off of human misery afterall. jann loved anniversaries, he loved them so much so he went beyond his way to remind you of the day the paths of the stray soul within the both of you intersected. every single year, without fail would he plan something just to get to spend time with you, just to get to see you, in any way possible.
jann loved reliving the day he swore he was gonna spend the rest of his life with you, eventhough the two of you had just met. if he was to be offered the chance to be there again, in that park, bumping into you, he would snatch it off the offering hand so no one else would get there before him. again and again, no matter how long he’ll be stuck in the loop, no matter how much it’s violently clawing away every inch of his being. he would choose you, every. single. time, in a blink on an eye.
conveniently, today’s the anniversary of the day a really tall curlyhead made you drop the fresh pastry that was just handed to you by the nice cart uncle whom you saw almost every time you were strolling through the park. it was a major setback of your day, and you were close to erupt chaos of rage in the middle of the park seeing your pain au chocolat rolling on the ground helplessly, covered in dirt. at that time, the pastry seemed to be the only thing that could save you from a mental breakdown from a hell of a day you had just went through. so when a silly nerd decided he was gonna practise walking for the first time in his life and bumped into you, you felt like smacking him in the back of his head. if only you could actually reach it.
conveniently, the same silly nerd felt really bad about the whole situation, so much so he insisted on getting you a new one from the nice uncle’s cart. but this story would’ve ended right that moment if the nice uncle had more to offer. aparently the filth indulgent pastry on the ground was one of the few last ones he had to carry. it was in the evening after all, nobody were actually looking forward to some flaky, buttery goodness at that time. you were ready to accept everything the universe had planned for your misery that day, to just drag your feet home with slumped shoulders, tired eyes and tastebuds yearning for what could’ve been your sitting-by-the-fountain snack. and you did, but not without the silly nerd’s offer of getting you one the next day, as a repayment of his crooked steps that were the cause of the tragedy to the french, which of course, was the pastry on the ground.
conveniently, when you walked through the park the next day, on the same path you do every day after work, you saw the silly nerd again. only this time he didn’t look so silly, because in his hands were already two pain au chocolats, beautifully wrapped with a sheer paper, just in time for your arrival. it’s like he knew exactly when you were gonna come, and it’s like he knew that you weren’t gonna stood him up on that offer. in reality, it was nothing like that. he couldn’t get the nerves out of his system, and he almost bleed out his bottom lips from biting on them too hard in anticipation on whether you were gonna come.
he had every right to think that after the awkwardness and the clumsiness he displayed the day before, you were gonna think that he’s such a loser. and that such a beauty like you wouldn’t ever dare to even be in his presence ever again. he accepted that fact, he did. but he was willing to risk it, he was willing to appear stupid in that park again, holding two pastries in his hands like some kind of idiot. to his suprise, he got to see that pretty face again. the muscly organ behind his chest beat like it was gonna replace the pastry from the day before, on the ground, rolling in dirt. the universe owe him one for what happened, so what was actually displayed on his face when he saw you was a bright smile. a smile so bright that it was contagious, so bright that it jumped right onto your face too.
the two of you spent the rest of the evening by the fountain, enjoying the pastry together, realising that you enjoyed one another more than the deliciousness in your hands. the doors of your homes at that time welcomed the arrival of two people back home, separately ofcourse, noticing the obvious grins on your faces. it was almost cliche, and the story sounded like it jumped right out of a 90s romcom. only that those always end with a happy ending, making them the definition of cliche.
every thing seemed to be so conveniently sketched out in the story about the both of you, yet what actually made it all possible were the two hearts that tugged themselves towards each other, the willingness to make space for one another, and the fondness that was growing. yes, it all happened in a simple way, but what most people dont get is that simplicity is often overlooked. for the both of you, simplicity is what tied two beings together. loving you was simple for jann. it came almost like breathing for him, and it’s like he was dead for the first part of his life, before he met you. jann liked simple, but not as much as he loved you. if complexity is what he had to endure to keep you in his heart, to keep you close, then he’s willing to be demented for the rest of eternity.
jann had this routine he’d been doing since your very first anniversary, that he without fail would go over, sometimes even adding new things to the tradition he thought you’d like. walking down the pavement below his appartment, towards the cute little flowershop right beside the cafe, he already knew what he would get.
your flowers.
the flowers that he’d told you reminded him of you, and the flowers that he said represented you so well. he told you countless times whenever he’d get you those flowers that even with them beside you, you’re still so much prettier. and as corny as it might sound, you had to conceal the heat and red rushing towards your face.
jann had his way with words, particularly because they weren’t purposely formed to flatter you, they were actually a fragment of his love for you. sometimes he didn’t even realise that he was making you feel all giddy inside, and that his rosy cheeks were suddenly looking all kissable. at this point mrs. anderson from the flowershop already got the bouquet prepared for him, and it’s just the most convenient thing ever. one thing stripping him away from the whole routine is deliberately picking out each stem to build the bouquet. it was around your sixth anniversary had mrs. anderson realised that jann had been walking through her door around the same time of every year.
jann always came in to buy the exact same flowers in the fall, without fail.
so she stuck out and showed interest to the flowers jann had been getting all those years, asking about who was it for, what’s the occasion and all. she learned a lot about you from listening to jann without even having met you. that time when you actually walked into the shop with jann, you were slightly taken aback by how much the woman knew about you. jann was just chuckling in the background at the whole meeting, amusement clearly accompanying him. the both of you had become her favourite couple since then.
because of the season, the flower would become harder to obtain. it wouldn’t be found anywhere else accept mrs. anderson’s, that happened to be right at the corner of his apartment, just a walk down the pavement away. has anyone been keeping the word count on the word convenient so far ? even if the small shop around the corner didn’t carry your flowers, he would be walking to the final edge of the earth if he had to. what could you say ? jann’s a stickler for routines and when the routine involves making you happy, he’d be more than ecstatic.
on this exact date every year, your routine is to put on your best clothes, stand in your most gorgeous pair of shoes, and walk to the park where the two of you met that particular evening with your prettiest face. but that was never a problem. you’d sit on the creaking wooden hazel bench and wait for jann. only that on your anniversaries, jann wouldn’t knock your fresh pastry down to be eaten by the ground. the routine you two had for your anniversary was maybe corny and cheesy to some, but it reminds you of the silly nerd that looked like he was damn near picking up the little snack he’d accidently made you drop to lick all the dirt off of it before handing it back to you. you were forever grateful he didn’t actually do that, because you didn’t think you’d be coming back the next day to meet him in the same spot.
somewhere around your 12th anniversary, 8 years after your marriage did the park became no longer the strategic spot for your anniversary meet up, as it was no longer suitable for the picnic the both of you would set up to just bask in each other’s warmth amidst the breeze of autumn, intertwining your fingers till sometimes they get entangled. even though it was simple, yet it was the date you’d look forward to all year round. it was so special, that you promised each other that the tradition wouldn’t die down, away with one of you. every time you’d sit on the checkered blanket weighted down by the basket and both your figures, you’d talk about the future, and what the both of you hope for each other. it was nice, really nice. especially when jann would bring up the topic of having a mini you around the house, your cheeks would heat up and the cold would always expose the rosy tint away. he thought it was the cutest thing ever, which was why he swore he’d never stop teasing you about it.
it was also in that very park, on a walk the both of you decided to take on a random saturday did he first said that he loved you, to which you told him the same. it was pure, what the two of you had. you were so good for each other, a few fights ? ofcourse, but nothing could infiltrate the depth of fondness you held within your core.
it’s your 15th anniversary today, a huge number yet it feels so small. how fast time flies when you spend the entirety of your life devoted to each other. jann couldn’t help the bittersweet smile creeping onto his face as he walk on the fluffy grass, his hand swiping across the swinging wooden sign when he steps past.
“c’mon, lets go see mommy sweetheart” the little girl clinging onto jann’s large hand seemed to not have anything to protest, as she obediently arranges her new steps infront each of them, eyes focused on her little strawberry shoes.
seeing her so determined sends a tingle in his heart, how could a human this small be so precious to him ? how could a small human that he just met three years ago be so dear to him that if anything were to happen to her he’d ask the devil to lunge his sword right into his chest himself ? well maybe that’s a bit too graphic but he stands by his point.
“hey honey, we’re here” jann announces to you in a sing songy tone, to get the little girl’s attention and to tell her they’ve arrived at their destination.
crouching beside his daughter, jann holds her chubby arms to face her towards you, handing her the bouquet of your flowers the both of them had fetched from mrs. anderson so she could place it on the shiny sleek marble slab, engraved on it are your first and middle name, and ‘mardenborough’ at the end of them.
it’s true that the park was no longer suitable, as you had been forever eternalized someplace else.
“sorry we’re a bit late, someone insisted on wearing her strawberry shoes this morning instead of her favourite purple ones she makes me put on her every single day” jann informs, talking to the non-responding piece of stone with a warm smile, his large hands almost covering the entirety of the little child’s anterior. a pair of amber hued orbs stares back at him, obviously unamused knowing that her dad was talking about her.
“atleast that shows that she’s got fashion sense just like you. i mean, it couldn’t possibly be from me” the end of his sentence is accompanied by a soft laugh, before it slowly trails away. pulling a deep breath, he looks over to the little hand pulling at his curls at the side of his head. the same curls that is also on top of hers.
“hey you wanna tell mommy what we did yesterday ?” the girl nods at his offer, perking up to exercise her speech that has started to get really put together. jann’s more excited knowing that compared to last year, she gets to actually tell you what they did the day before, having only gained her speech earlier this year. they tried telling you last year, but all that came out were mumbles of the words ‘mama’ and ‘dada’. seemed to be all she knew back then.
“we went to picnic in daddy’s park, had pasty” she begins, which also seems to be the end too, earning a light chuckle from jann.
“it’s pastry, but you get it” he informs with a hand gesture, smoothing his hand over her head, the luscious curls moving back against his palm.
trailing his eyes across every inch of your stone, his hand reaches up to graze over the surface, dragging with his fingers the thin dust film. all he could do was smile, forcefully tucking away the heavy, deep longing painfully dragging down his core. the least he could do to show his love for you now is to raise his little girl to be the amazing person he once knew you were. he prays, every single day that he has what it takes to replicate such beauty from within.
the picnic tradition the both of you had changed now, for a slightest bit. instead of going on your exact anniversary date, jann now brings your daughter to the park a day before to spend the entire evening, reminiscing about you. it’s his way of keeping the memory of you always alive for his daughter. and the next day would be reserved to go see you at a totally different location, far away from the park.
seeing as his daughter wouldn’t get to grow up with the warmth of your love as much as he got to, he decided that this will be the way of him sharing what’s left of that love with her, by devoting this tradition to remind his daughter that her mother will always be looking out for her. jann wishes that the tradition of your anniversary will live forever, until the universe sends him the invitation of reuniting with you again, in a different universe.
a universe far away from the one where a love story is so conveniently sketched out, that it was too good to be true.
there’s a reason why two stray souls could only intersect, as they would eventually pass over each other at some point.
taglist: @r4vn @love-me-pls @radioloom @farleighlover @imjustheretoreadsmuthaha @luckystrikerealness @juniperhasfallen @themoonchildwhofell @khxna @fuckshitslover @szapizzapanda @inglourious-imagines
divider creds: @rookthornesartistry
#archie madekwe#jann mardenborough#archie madekwe fanfic#a little moodboard for yall#get into the right reading mood 😇#yeah im losing my mind
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i feel like im in a weird demographic when it comes to the percy jackson live action series because of the age i was when i read them. cause i read the lightning thief for the first time when i was in single digits, so percy being twelve seemed appropriately grown up. and then as i got further into the series and into heroes of olympus, percy got older with me, and was always kinda broadly my age or a little older. so like, the movie cast was too old when that happened, because they were way older than me. but now the series cast is actual twelve year olds (or so) and they are so obviously just little babies that im now forced to confront the fact that uhhh percy was in fact a fuckin child when all this started??? exCUSE ME???
#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#boutta fight the gods myself on their behalf how can u look at their lil faces and think yeah im gonna kill them#anyway at least i have a couple months to come to terms with the inevitable passage of time and the skewed perspectives of childhood#before i lose my mind over the tv show in a completely different way
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miserable fucking creature
#guilty gear#paracelsus#paracelsus guilty gear#yeah i'll main tag this#THIS IS THE INTRO FOR THE TOP SIX OF EVO AND IM LOSING MY MIND#HES AT THE EQUIVALENT OF THE KIDS TABLE WITH ALL THE INANIMATE WEAPONS#THIS IS FUCKING KILLING ME#HE LOOKS SO SICK OF BEING ALIVE#flash warning#< jic
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Ruvina, goddess of winter and sorrow
#ruvina#d20 fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#dimension 20#fhjy#fantasy high#fhjy spoilers#d20 fhjy#lucy frostblade#d20 fanart#yeah so im spinning in circles in my mind like gorgug when he was losing it over mango soda#ribbittrobbit#completely normal about the cosmology of fantasy high#my ipad says i worked on this & ankarna for 12 hours#ice is hard to draw so its just little lines now lol#now i need to go do actual work instead lol
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Did anyone order sansby yaoi?(i did and i'll eat it by myself ok fineeee)
Paws bonus:
#undertale#undertale fanart#sans undertale#grillby#sansby#they unironically make me want to commit atrocities#im losing my mind AUUYVGHTJTJGYJU#sansby the ship ever#im so glad 2017 me looked at them and was like “yeah.”#im abusing these tags so bad waow
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Tntduo in 1920's dresses galore (+ regular designs cus I couldn't resist)
#so what if I'm deranged. im cringe and free#I've got a couple ideas more for them so expect to see more of these fuckos#can't believe my first time posting cq art is this. got a feeling the cq enjoyers would appreciate it regardless tho#canon has no power over me btw i literally don't care. doesnt cross my mind. they are dress up dolls and i am an 8 yo girl in that way#alright enjoy bye-bye xoxo#my art#dsmp fanart#cwilbur#cquackity#ctntduo#yeah im maintagging. I've got nothing to lose in this life or the next#fennec.art
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chat did i eat that up or naw
#aphmau#mystreet#art#digital art#yeah idk whats going on anymore#im losing my mind#i hate this#i hate doing tags#like why#minecraft#aphmau mystreet#aphmau minecraft diaries#mcd#aphmau mcd
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guys. guys hear me. out. pelase hear me out im cooking i swear guys ple
#art#my art#dsmp#dream smp#dsmp fanart#technoblade#ctechno#technoblade fanart#half life#SORRY half life fans .........#i fucking ahate drawing the hev suit so bad ohhhhh my god#like oooh yeah let me spend an hour staring at machine plating and whatever the fuck#just for a dtupid fucking doodle that turns out mid anyways#FUCK YOU HEV SUIT 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕#< jokes btw. its actually pretty fun when im not losing my mind#the other contender for this wouldve been ctubbo. i think he would do well in half life#ctubbo would see a rocket launcher and adjoining rockets 100 ft away from a military helicopter#and think 'maybe god does love me.'#however i think ctechno has just enough Kill That Guy Disease to pull it off smoothly#as opposed to ctubbo who might die at the end
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would calling this something like "the sun to his earth" be a little bit too cliche? maybe...
#ted lasso#ted lasso fanart#tedependent#trent crimm#ted x trent#I JUST GAHH!! GAAAHH!!! I HAVE MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THEM!!!!!#pn.art#YEAH IM NOT IMMUNE TO THE SUN/MOON WHATEVER THEHELL :/#since i probably wont be able to draw what i have in mind rn id just say it now. i have this thought about stars on the ceiling and how ted#and trent grew up with different fathers. how ted had a loving dad who he wished he told him more how much he meant to ted#and trent's father being more strict. wanting him to be something else. a stronger man. someone who played football. and how glow in the#dark stars is just a core part to many kids' childhoods and how ted probably had them and trent didnt#IDK.. IDK IM THINKING ABOUT IT... im making zero sense and this is a thought that goes nowhere but i just love the imagery of it all SNIFFS#something something ted and trent being two people who didnt want to be like their fathers but in very different ways but also so similar#enough that theyll definitely buy their own kids glow in the dark stars if they asked#IM LOSING MY MIND RN. HELLO. ANYWAYS....#EDIT: WHY DOES TUMBLR LOVE REMOVING TH E FINAL LETTER IN SOME OF THESE TAGS
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we know that fighting is sukuna's canonical "love language"....
so what is this???
the level of physicality and closeness in all their fights is making me rabid. sukuna really gives yuuji such special treatment .... not only does he spare yuuji's life so many times when he could have killed him, he also keeps fighting yuuji in close combat when he literally has a cursed technique that can slice people apart from a distance.
this is a choice he's making to get so skin-to-skin with the enemy he's supposed to hate.
also, the way he was (unnecessarily) cradling yuuji's neck almost gently as he literally beats into him, how he's grabbing onto yuuji and just manhandling him — i'm no going to lie, it's almost carnal. how is so much intimacy in all of their fights compared to everyone else sukuna clashes with?
and the way sukuna is so expressive and uncharacteristically emotional whenever he gets to face yuuji. that brat just works him up so bad—
it's especially interesting when sukuna looks almost proud or excited to see what yuuji can do.
also.... sukuna, why do you look so excited for yuuji to come beat you up? is this like a date to you???
i mean, to be fair, sukuna probably considers violent brawling a love confession so no wonder why he's always ready to take on yuuji.
even in the official art he's so obviously into it.
the way he's smirking down at yuuji, holding onto his wrist, it's like he can't stop touching him. probably misses the closeness they used to have back when the brat was his vessel tbh.
i especially love that one scene where he literally sat on yuuji
he didn't have to do that. he just wanted to pin his brat down <3
"you're mine, you're not going anywhere without my permission" kind of thing really. like a bully with a crush would do.
in conclusion, sukuna gets off on throwing his boy around and feeling him up. it's just fact.
and yuuji is more than likely into it, too....
this means they share the same kinks traits to me tbh. if sukuna really did survive, i would like to believe that they would go on fighting hard with each other, even over the stupidest things. domestic cursed husbands to me <3
#when they finally animate these last few sukuita fight scenes... i will literally lose my mind#ahhhh anyways#i want to credit user kakuriyo for the gif i used of the season 1 fight scene in sukuna's innate domain#im so sad bc whenever i try to look up sukuna and yuuji fight scenes online#i mostly get results for sukuna vs gojo or someone else#please feel free to lmk if i should credit anyone else for these gifs ty#honey posts#sukuita#jujutsu kaisen#sukuna ryomen#itadori yuuji#jjk#meta#kind of?#it's more like a ship-heavy rant about why im so violent about these two#yeah i know this is really stupid but im seriously infected with sukuita sickness so im not really in control of myself anymore#suffer with me
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Some old (an others not-so-old) things I never posted
#alenoah#td alejandro#total drama#td trent#td noah#td au#this suuuuuuucks#good times tho#trenoah#so yeah#slowly losing my mind#there r some rlly old stff.#im no longer that obssesed w/td
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Can't believe I never shared Penis Blast Rayman on here what the hell have I been d o i n g
#losing my mind to the chaos (adhd)#thats what ive been doing#anyway yeah im coming out: im a rayman fan#how could i not be look at that little guy#holding him in my hands#his powers for rayman 4 sure are interesting huh /j#quite a bit of rayman stuff to share#and laserhawk cause yeah#those hyperfixations come hand in hand for me apparently lol#anon's art#anon's doodles#lol memes#rayman#rayman fanart#penis blast#anon rambles in the tags
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firesetter art dump i got a bit silly guys oughhfghdfgjnnjjdghj
#toontown#toontown corporate clash#ttcc#pacesetter#graham ness payser#firestarter#flint bonpyre#firesetter#why be sad when all i got in my brain is GAY PEOPLE#GET THEMOUT OF MY HEADDD#me: ive drawn a lot of firesetter i should probably draw some other characters also me a week later:#THIS ISNT EVEN ALL OF IT HELP ME#you see the doodles in this post?? yeah theres like 8 more of those as of uploading this but im not posting them (for now idk)#ouugh... firesetter save me.... firesetter........ save me firesetter.................#im losing my fucking mind ohmy gof#hey guys. *falls over and dies*#also the first image was made before shit went down i just waited to post it :P#stupid made this
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SHES HIS ONE TRUTH!! HIS GUIDING STAR!!!! BECAUSE EVEN IF HE'S INSECURE ABOUT HIMSELF IN A LOT OF WAYS THE THING HE'S MORE SURE ABOUT ALL OF HIM ENTIRELY ARE HIS FEELINGS FOR RAYLA! SHE INSPIRES HIM AND MAKES HIM GROW !! SHE GUIDES HIM!! SHES HIS BEST FRIEND AND THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE!! HES SO IN LOVE WITH HER IT LITERALLY TAKES THE FORM OF A FREAKING STAR AND CLEANS HIM FROM DARKNESS!!!!
#yeah im still losing my mind over this#gn#rayllum#give us the saga#continue the saga#the dragon prince
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