#Y'know for funsies just to see just to be curious

[sysig]

I’m turning you all into marketable plushies, you watch (Patreon)

Bonus eyes because embroidery brain:

[yandere-daydreams]

Wanna know what MC I want to kill themselves to shove it in their yandere face? The one from what was it's 'cherry blossom' I think it was called. The sukuna one where he almost fucking drowns the reader. I want them to at least try to kill themselves just so I can see sukuna reaction

on one hand i do not want my inbox to be flooded with people telling me which of my reader-inserts they would have immediately kill themselves, but on the other i am curious about which reader-insert you people would absolutely have self-annihilate in .01 seconds if given the chance. just for funsies y'know.

[py-dreamer]

Oh! It's Mac(aroni)-learns-the-consequences-for his-actions o'clock!: the AU

To my marshiemallows who saw my other post, no this isn't the part two I was talking about

(it's coming dw! ...I am going to roast those fics over a pit like a rotisserie chicken...)

but this is some more Ma-caca slander so if you're into that...

"get in loser we're going to yell into some all hearing (but terrible at listening) ears"

(DISCLAIMER: I do enjoy Macaque as a character, he is well written in the show imo

This is a call-out to those who think he's just a victim and excuse his crimes in the show, in lore and make him the "uwu soft boi who needs to be protected at all cost who everyone loves including all of Wukong's subjects apparently"

and make Wukong the "selfish narcissist who's a lazy good for nothing, a monster who killed Mac for funsies then cried for centuries afterward without his waifu, doesn't deserve anything good, everyone hates him for good reason, he kills puppies on a daily bas-"

yea you get the point)

I know there're some AUs where there's an artifact that can change time or transport you into a different dimension

Yea so y'know what, let Macaque get his hands on one of them, mid battle with the monkie kids.

They tell him to calm down and give the artifact back but Mac gets pissy about an earlier conversation with Wukong.

About how he made a shrine to honor his pilgrim brothers and Mac gets mad.

He tells Wukong that it's been centuries since they've died so why doesn't he let them go and Wukong of course gets pissed too.

Then Mac-aroni bursts at him why there was nothing for the brotherhood or DBK when he sealed him or when he died

He adds some extra insults for flavor then leaves (as usual) without giving the monkey king to give his perspective and cuss him out

Back to the present, Mac decides to alter the timeline just a wee bit...

"Tang Sanzang was killed by the six eared Macaque during their first encounter"

Then we see this new world...but it's not all happy like Macaque hoped

First off, the journey was to retrieve holy scriptures from India which would help to cleanse the east apparently. But it was also because of the journey a lot of corruption was stopped (eg slow cart kingdom with its policy on Buddhism, kingdom of women and the demon guarding the abortion spring, the demon who overthrew the black river god, kidnappings in general)

So yea if it was cut short, a lot of that corruption would still be in power.

With most of the human population being overtaken by humans or corrupt kings or busy being eaten or courtnapped, yea society could not evolve. It stays mostly stagnant, so a lot of technology hasn't been invented yet and most humans (particularly lower class) are doing worse for wear.

But it wasn't his fault; it was the society and humans for being to weak to upturn itself.

Mac sees them, doesn't really care and goes off to find Wukong because hey, he's curious

However he finds the Camel Ridge trio instead and we know what kinda happened in that town.

The surrounding area is dry and barren because all the life is being sucked out of it. Heck, its probably even more arid cause the trio's reign has lasted for centuries.

They all welcome Macaque with open arms asking him where he's been and they haven't heard of him since the monk's murder.

The trio thank Mac since they heard how the monk had Wukong on a leash and how he was no more than a guard dog and they were worried that he'd make the monkey king reign his wrath on the city if they ever crossed and without him, the journey never continued and there was no encounter

He's disturbed by the friends he once loathed and fought welcoming him with open arms and owed their success to his actions.

But it wasn't his fault for their corruption, it was their city and their choices, someway or another karma will get them probably...maybe...

Since without the journey, the brotherhood never would've ended up in the ink scrolls

"Its a shame Wukong and Brother Bull can't join us"

Mac asks what they mean and where DBK was.

He learns the demon bull family were in mourning.

You see, without the pilgrims and more importantly, Sanzang and Wukong present, the sealing of the samahdi fire probably wouldn't have went the same.

They couldn't find anyone available who'd survive the flames so DBK, PIF and Nezha had to try it themselves...and were sadly unsucessful

The infant's power caused mass destruction, many deaths, injured both his parents greatly...

...and ultimately led the child to an early grave.

Leaving the clan and couple devastated for years to come.

But it still wasn't his fault: it was just due to unfortunate circumstances!

Macaque, disturbed by this leaves without saying goodbye, goes to flower fruit mountain to check on its status. Since without having to continue the journey, surely the monkey king would be basking in the sun with his subjects happily gorging themselves on fruit-

Only he comes back to a total wasteland.

As a consequence of letting the monk be killed and failing his chance at redemption, heaven punished Sun Wukong and he was never seen again (much to Mac's surprise).

But not only that, it seemed the gods took their rage out on Flower fruit mountain as well. This was the 2nd time it was burned but now they made sure to finish the job, every last tree engulfed in flames.

Without the monkey king coming back to save them, all the inhabitants were at risk of the burning and any left who fled to the mainland were captured and sold, starved or hunted and eaten. There were no survivors.

Upset by his discovery, Macaque was filled with rage at the king. How dare he not take care of their home, he failed as a friend but now as a king too. So he snuck into heaven to find out his location to find answers and yell at him.

It wasn't his fault their home was destroyed. That was Wukong's duty as king! He failed his subjects and he must pay

A tear filled Macaque snuffs through heaven's files as even he couldn't find the location of Sun Wukong's prison.

He learns that Nezha after failing to seal the fire, got terribly burned in the process probably crippling him and causing mass destruction to many nearby towns and minor gods had been cast out of heaven.

Some of the guilt started weighing in on him but he put that aside, because of course it wasn't his fault; the god was just too weak and shouldn't have stuck his nose into other's business.

And finally, the main course we've all been waiting for: confronting Wukong.

He's back under 5 phases mountain but this time with many more locks and security cautions. Macaque learns nobody had heard from the king in a 1000 years.

He finds the king and screams at him that it was his fault how FFM was now a desolate dessert devoid of life.

But to his surprise, the king laughs.

The king laughs maniacally, practically howling with laughter but with crazed eyes like a madman.

"I assume you'll blame me for 'abandoning' you too?"

He rips into Macaque about how they always swore to stay by each others side but the moment things get ugly Mac will always save his skin. And asks where was he for him through all this.

Not during the battle vs heaven.

Not during his trials.

Not during his imprisonment.

Not when he asked him to go back and leave the pilgrims alone.

Not when heaven pointed fingers at him that the monk's murder was his fault.

Not when FFM was destroyed and Wukong didn't learn until some heavenly officials told him years later as they fed him metal pellets and molten iron.

Even now, the only reason he came was to complain.

(I imagine a lil conversation to go like this:

Macaque: They abused you! They didn't free you!!

Wukong: WELL NEITHER DID YOU!!!!

Macaque:...

Wukong:...neither did you...)

Then Mac decides to ask what the pilgrims did afterward and bet they all ran off too...how wrong he was

(Macaque: Then where are your 'pilgrim' brothers now? Why aren't they here to help you the-

Wukong: they're gone

Macaque: what..?

Wukong: They're gone...They're gone...gone...DID YOU NOT HEAR ME? ARE YOU DEAF? I SAID THEY'RE GONE!!!

Macaque: but how...

Wukong: after you fled the scene, the heavenly officials came to detain me....hahahah...I was caught in that diamond snare again and Ao Lie jumped in to defend me.

Macaque: but I thought...

Wukong: I was so distraught, I couldn't do anything...They said that it was also their fault master was dead so they'd better stay quiet if they wanted to lessen their sentence....hahahah...I watched them all die one by one Macaque...

Macaque:...

Wukong:...they all defended me...even the goddamn pig... And do you know where that lead them? They all died...Liu'er...they're dead...I WATCHED MY BROTHERS DIE IN FRONT OF ME FOR DEFENDING ME...I DID NOTHING LIU'ER...DO YOU KNOW WHERE AZURE AND THE OTHERS ARE NOW? I'M SURE THEY'RE PARTYING AND LEAVING ME TO ROT. MEANWHILE MY BROTHERS GAVE THEIR LIVES FOR A USELESS MONKEY. I COULDN'T EVEN PROTECT MY SUBJECTS...OR SANZANG...THE GREAT SAGE EQUAL TO HEAVEN CAN'T EVEN PROTECT A SINGLE HUMAN...ALL THAT TIME, TRAINING, USELESS!! SO SURE...BLAME ME ALL YOU WANT BECAUSE I DESERVE IT AT THIS POINT!!!! COME ON!!!!

Macaque: God, you've really gone mad...)

I want this man to meet his inner demons or someone able to slap him around to just really remind him of the consequences to his actions maybe some ink scroll action.

Just basically:

And maybe if I'm feeling nice we get a happy ending, Mac reverses the spell or something and perhaps says something nice to Wukong for once.

If anyone has any thoughts or suggestions on how the timeline would change, do tell I'm curious to hear your thoughts.

@furornocturna might be reminding Mac-adoodledoo of his crimes to the monkie kids in the present but I'm taking him for a roadtrip to the past

(or other present...time travel is complicated y'all)

(Again I recommend 'Fractured pieces make a mosaic' on Ao3.

I shall call them my partner in crime for Mac-caca bullying if they shall so let me have the honors...also @nightmarebunnyking...they also do good slander

No I will not stop advertising their work. Cause it's good outside of the slander, Wukong is very affectionate, we love that for him and MK collects dads like pokemon cards

also kinda want opinions on more ole'Mac-doodle had denial. E I E I O

I propose we gather in a circle and beat him with a stick

...pls interact its 1 am rn)

Also fun fact this is my 2001st post so uhh...yay..?

[valley--cat]

the rent-free doggod guy again >:3 -beverage -co-habitate -fluff!! :3 -wardrobe

Beverage: What do they most like to drink, and why?

Y'know, good question. Ridge likes trying a lot of different things, he's fascinated by mortal food and drink. He's partial to coffee, and really likes tea, though. Tea is a 'normal morning' drink, or for when he wants to relax. Coffee is for when he wants to, or more likely, knows he has to get things done. Caffeine doesn't actually affect him like, at all, but Ridge associates it with 'get work done' now because of interactions with mortals. He likes all the different sub-flavours that can fit inside different kinds of tea and coffee, and he enjoys warm drinks in general. But coffee and tea have so many little subtle tastes and components he can separate out and see how they fit together to make that particular strain. oh also he like, really likes whiskey lol

Co-Habitate: Do they live with anyone? What's "need to know" before moving in?

Depends on the server! I answered stuff about his solo world the last time I did this, where he lives alone but fairly often has friends/guests over. If Ridge is on a group server, he prefers to still have a separate base where he can go to be alone, but he also will often find himself teaming or at least being friendly with some people. Bebop and Verbal are big ones for this, of course, and all three are used to co-habbing with eachother, with all the quirks that brings, by now. Overall he likes living with his favourite idiots, but sometimes he just needs his space. Ridge shared a base with Xephos in particular, but also the rest of honeydew inc. at least once, which went about as well as you'd expect. He's also lived with Kirin in the past, which was both hilarious and annoying as hell, for both of them. For the, uh, "what's 'need to know'" part, I can't tell if that means things that he wants to know, or what other people should be aware of before trying to share a base with him. I assumed the latter initially but it could very well be the former. For the former, mainly, he's gotta interact with people while having a solo base first, to see if he can put up with living with them without wanting to super death kill them forever. He doesn't like to just have someone drop in and go 'okay i live here now' (despite the fact that he's essentially done similar once or twice). Once you've teamed with him once and survived (general and vague usage of the word), its a lot easier to convince him to share a base. You can brute force it if you're brave enough though. For the latter, just, if you wanna try and live with him, he's a lot. Ridgedog is so much to deal with. He'll pull pranks on you for fun. He has so many random boundaries that his ass Will Not State until you accidentally cross them. He doesn't have anything close to a normal sleeping schedule. He's just… a lot. Buyer beware. No returns accepted. Product might kill you for funsies.

Fluff: What hits their soft spot? Does anything them into emotional goo?

uhhhhhhhhh This is a hard one to answer, he's very closed-off on his soft feelings like this, so its hard to describe what triggers it. Ridge likes watching children interact with the world though, they're always so curious and willing to learn and explore to figure out their place in the web of life. It fills him with a soft sort of joy to watch, or even better, be part of that experience. Too bad a lot of small children are wildly intimidated by him. (Actually, he gets similar feelings about non-human younglings too. Baby animals, especially horses, are something he could idly watch all day.) On an interpersonal basis its even worse to try and answer. I guess Ridge likes when people actually think through a gift they're giving him? He'll take a small, handmade object someone spent time on over something generic and big and shiny any day, it just makes him feel some very specific, fond emotions.

Wardrobe: What's their fashion style? Do they have any staple pieces?

He likes to dress in a very refined style usually, cover a lot of skin. Something about being almost entirely covered by cloth makes him feel comfortable I guess. He's weird. There's a lot of layers to his current everyday outfit (in the past there's been a lot less). In terms of like, proper words to describe his style, he loves fancy western clothes, and his everyday wardrobe is a good mix of victorian, edwardian, and regency-style clothing. Gloves included. If he's dressing to be "casual", he drops a lot of the structured pieces and small details and instead chooses to wear the classic peasant/'pirate' shirt, one of those loose-necked billowy white things. Also, coat. Ridgedog wears that fucking coat everywhere. Does his damn best to build his outfits around working with it. Its his favourite piece of clothing and one of his most beloved posessions.

[switchingsoftly]

4,

20,

31

33

40

49,

54,

55,

92 or 93, dealer's choice

Lot of questions, and a lot of answers under the cut!

4: What’s the best sex you’ve ever had?

It's so hard to compare my favorites, but I think just in terms of how much I think about it, that time I got spit roasted would for sure top the cake. I hope I can do that again veryyyy soon djdkfjskf

20: What’s the queerest shit you’ve ever done?

Exist

31: Describe your most unusual/taboo fantasy.

Y'know, it's hard to say lol, I'm not sure. With the crowds I'm in, a lot of what I enjoy is fairly... normal? Common, I suppose, lol. I think maybe my like spiderweb of a stalker kink would probably be my most unusual/taboo as of currently. It's also my favorite 💅🏼✨

33: Who’s the oddest person you’ve fantasised about?

Honestly? I personally feel I'm pretty boring in this regard, but the oddest person I've fantasized about was this one friend I had in college. I wasn't even really attracted to him, but our friend group took the bdsm test for funsies (as you do) and his results were a mixed bag. Your gurl got curious, I won't lie sjfldjcks. I really like the whole, "turns into a completely different person in the bedroom" type of troupe, and he definitely had the potential for that sort of thing lol.

40: Describe your most sexy fantasy.

Currently, being like, this cute shapshifting son-cubus who gets corrupted and taken in by his new Eldritch void-demon mommy is my favorite, currently. Just the idea of having past experiences and sensations completely erased from my mind and replaced by this sweet demoness who cares for fie's son oh so much and makes sure to spend lots of special bonding time together is so cute.

There's a similar one that's this little god guy (me) and his Vala -his priestess- and all the things they'd do. Astral mind-fucking, worship, devotion, etc etc is just. So good. And the thought of like, maybe the Vala being this god's mother... loving it to the point of literally seeing it as her god and worshipping it is just. Sjcjckc yeah, family fantasy stuff for sure is my thing right now sjckckvkgkb

49: Do you have any kinks that you’re ashamed of?

I feel like there's a small glimmer of shame in every single one of my kinks, in all honesty. I used to get intrusive thoughts about sexual stuff when I was younger because of it, but I'm doing pretty good with accepting the things that makes things a little more exciting for me 🖤

54: Describe how you like your genitals to be touched

With afab stuff, I really just loved to be filled hard enough to be sore for days afterwards. Fingering, fucking, doesn't matter as long as I physically cannot think. With oral I do prefer to be given head rather than eaten out, as that's more pleasurable to me, and I've gotten some pretty good reviews on how it feels for me to bob their head on my dick >//u//>

55: How sensitive are your nipples? Does nipple play turn you on?

Depends on the person. Personally, if I play with them by myself it doesn't really do much, but if someone else is I absolutely love it. I'd say they're slightly sensitive, mostly to licking and such, and it's such a foreign and good feeling to me lol

92: Post a naked selfie.

You-know-who is being a huge bitch rn and I'm afraid if he sees a pair of tits next to the word 'trans' he'll explode and I'll be deactivated. I've thought about making an of at some point in the future, so who knows! I'll post one for funsies at some point, I'm sure hehe

93. Tag your biggest tumblr crush

@wolfgirlclit hi momma 🖤

[je-suis-problematique]

Some Dyffros ramblings

We are going in completely blind with this one, we only have the faintest of faint ideas for what we want to do with him but he is essentially meant to be paired with Abdirak and he is from Pharo's canon meaning his story is happening parallel to and separate from Pharo's at first but then both stories converge at later stages. The hows and whys are still a mystery to us so I ask you to bear with me while we figure this shit out.

Dyffros is a priest (ceremonial) from Nescan and he is the closest one of Tarantino's (very) few associates. The way we imagined it Tarantino sent Dyffros after Pharo into Faerûn after yeeting Pharo there just to keep tabs on his little victim for funsies, y'know? Dyffros' job was to follow Pharo around from a safe distance and report any interesting things back to Tarantino through a device that allowed for communication between worlds, given to Dyffros by the serial killer.

Dyffros' relationship with Tarantino is very strained, we imagine Dyffros doesn't actually LIKE serving Tarantino and he's been more or less forced into compliance by hostile means like maybe blackmail or some sort of threat. Tarantino KNOWS that Dyffros would much rather NOT work for him but Tarantino has the upper hand and he enjoys reminding Dyffros of it every chance he gets. Sending Dyffros to Faerûn IS a risk though because Tarantino can't monitor Dyffros' actions as closely as usually did so Dyffros COULD potentially betray him and such, but Tarantino took all of that into account and came up with a backup plan in case Dyffros strays too far. Maybe he has Dyffros' family held hostage, maybe he's willing to expose Dyffros' criminal profile to the public to ruin his reputation and have him excommunicated from the church, maybe he sent Dyffros to Faerûn with some sort of explosive collar on him or with poison in his system that only Tarantino has the antidote for, you get the picture. Tarantino ALWAYS wins and Dyffros is completely powerless against him, that's the message the killer wants to send. And Dyffros performs his mission dutifully without allowing any room for distractions UNTIL he meets Abdirak.

When and where exactly Dyffros met Abdirak is a bit of a question mark for us because we know Pharo meets Abdirak at the goblin camp and all but since Dyffros is never too far behind we're wondering if Dyffros met Abdirak before or after Pharo. Personally I think that while Pharo was busy running around the general area of the camp Dyffros managed to infiltrate it first in order to see what Pharo was going to be up against, maybe Tarantino even ordered him to do it. So he goes in all sneaky and then.... Abdirak. Priest of Loviatar that strikes Dyffros as a bit.... out of place in the goblin camp. So he approaches Abdirak and they start talking. Dyffros is entirely decked out in Nescan combat priest gear mind you (I know I said he's ceremonial but we like to think that he used to be in one of the combat units and then retired) so he looks all futuristic and shit so Abdirak is naturally curious and honestly they just kinda click, both being men of faith and stuff. We still didn't figure out how Nescan religions work so, again, bear with my vagueness a little. So anyway the two priests are all over each other, maybe Dyffros shows Abdirak how a taser works if he has one or one of his more lethal weapons or something, tells Abdirak that he'll "be around" and to not tell anyone of his presence in the camp. That he'll "find him later" maybe. Perhaps he even warns Abdirak of the fact that the whole camp might turn hostile soon, I don't know. Either way Dyffros has to leave for now but he is very Distracted™ at this point.

I don't know what happens next honestly. I just read that you can find Abdirak after killing the goblin leaders being a bit lost as to how to escape so I can envision Dyffros helping him out there, maybe taking him back to his camp. Whether Dyffros tells Abdirak of his mission or he chooses to keep it a secret – I don't know. I think Dyffros himself might not be too sure about what exactly he should do about Abdirak because he shouldn't have picked him up in the first place but he did so now he's confused. He reports to Tarantino as usual, maybe tries to play it off as "just talking to an employer" when Abdirak asks, but Abdirak's presence begins eating at him from the inside because not only does he simply like Abdirak, he starts seeing a potential ally in him who might be able to help him weasel out of Tarantino's grasp. Truth be told Dyffros even starts thinking about Pharo as a potential ally but he doesn't admit it to himself yet.

Maybe Abdirak proposes they part ways because he has to get back to his temple or something or maybe he starts pressing Dyffros for answers when their little adventure starts becoming more and more dangerous and Abdirak Didn't Sign Up For That. Either way though Dyffros eventually spills the truth before Abdirak and straight up just begs him for help, telling him about Tarantino and their ties to Pharo and such. Maybe Abdirak is the one who encourages Dyffros to stop skulking around in the shadows and actually contact Pharo and his group directly to ask for help against Tarantino. Maybe THAT'S when their stories converge. Somewhere around the shadow-cursed lands perhaps?

Pharo and gang deciding to help Dyffros if Dyffros helps them too, first in dealing with the Elder Brain, then in getting close enough to Tarantino to take him down. Dyffros agrees and of course Abdirak gets roped into it as well. There's still plenty of adventures to be had before Pharo even has the time to go after Tarantino so I'm thinking Dyffros and Abdirak do have the time to bond properly and get to know each other better and hey, Lazarus exists and is a priest too so I can see Dyffros feeling less alone in all of this.

This is all I could come up with at the moment, more to come!