#World War Rising cheat

[g4zdtechtv]

THE PILE PRESENTS: X-Play - This Episode Is Not Canon | 4/2/08

I enjoy swearing at guys in high chairs!

(4GTV - 24/7. LIVE. WATCH NOW.)

[harmoonix]

🪄Dark Hour🖤

- Astrology Observations -

Having Venus in your 4th house can make you automatically to attract people with traditional values even if are not traditional yourself

Libra Risings can have it hard in relationship since their 7th house is ruled by Mars (Aries) which rules over war and conflicts

Cancer Placements can turn out to be manipulative if you do them wrong or if they simply just wake up and say 'lets be toxic today' and im not talking about all cancer placement natives

The dark side of a Venus in the 12th/Pisces Venus is that they tend to idolize their relationships/partners a lot, making a lot of scenarios in their head

Virgo or Cancer Venus may have a 'savior' complex in their love relationship, like trying to save themselves or trying to find someone who can save them

6th house Sun or Moon may have lots of encounters with animals, is like animals feel some kind of "calling' from you

Gemini/Leo/Taurus/ Venus may like to cosplay/playing the role of a character matches a lot with their personality

If you have unevolved Virgo Placements, you may hate when people disagree with you or when ppl come witn a counter-argument for you

Mars in the 8th house can get crazy if they don't get physical touch. Some might crave it and not have it 100% all the time

Moon in the 10th house feels like everyone is watching every single emotion of yours and may react to your sensitivity. You may get called 'over sensitive'

Moon in the 8th/12th house can struggle to talk about their feelings if they are surrounded by people with a toxic energy

Scorpio Moons can also struggle with 'feeling love' especially if they never experienced that properly. Don't press them to show their love for you early in a relationship let them feel safe first

Leo Chiron is a placement where they may nedd attention from others but not that type of "spotlight attention" rather just to be seen and understood by others

The dark side of Taurus Placements is that they tend to be very greedy and I talk here about their finances and money, of course if they are unevolved

Uranus in your 10H can make you change/switch your job more than once or twice, and can indicate having a confusing time with choosing the right job

Moon in your 2H can talk about 'working with love' and putting your heart into everything you do. You get rewards for your kindness

Unevolved 10th house placements can turn really materialistic if they have the chance, looking only for money and that's it

Capricorns are used to expect the worse in some situations since they have been thru multiple such situations in their lives

Uranus in Aquarius generation can be attached to technology 24/7. In love with technology, their phones are their world

Gemini and Virgo Moons are the first indicators of someone having anxiety/stress/panic attacks/overthinking

Pisces Placements but mostly Pisces Suns/Risings can use escapism a lot, trying to create their own reality in their head rather than living in the actual one

Scorpio Venus/Mars natives, some of their hidden fears can be betrayal/getting cheating on. This can possibly be one of the reasons why they can attach fast to people

Saturn/Pluto/Moon in the 8th/12th houses the planets become more dark in these houses, getting

Cardi B has a crazy chart because she has BOTH Jupiter and POF in the 7th house and is still still coming to the man who cheated on her??? (Never mind her Venus in the 8th house explaining everything)

A water sign in your 11th house can indicate you can understand people deeply and attach to them emotionally

Earth signs in the 1st house can indicate you tend to put a lot of pressure on themselves, being hard on themselves, criticizing themselves sometimes quite a lot

Mercury - Moon aspects natives can get therapeutic with other people, they like to talk about deep stuff with others and tend to share a lot from their live experiences

Jupiter in Sagittarius can be a good placement if you want to explore the whole world or just simply travel Jupiter can help you to manifest that

Jupiter - Mercury or Saturn in harsh aspects tend to be close-minded or afraid to open to new things/learning or knowing about them (I'm talking for the aspects generally not the people)

Moon or Venus at 5° or in the 5th house can make you have a baby fever more when you're young, like in your 20s. Wanting to be a young parent (this does not apply to all)

Mars or Neptune in the 11th house tend to attract people easily with their energy/personality. People get interested about you too

North Node aspecting Saturn in harsh aspects is not easy, actually is a very challenging position in your chart

North Node in the 8th or 12th house tends to live intense lives or have intense life situations, even near death situations

✨️🤍 Hope you all have a good Monday 🤍✨️

Harmoonix ✨️✨️✨️

[a-s-fischer]

Antisemitism and the Nazi Worldview: a Guide for the Perplexed

While most people know the Nazis hated Jews, few people understand just how integral Jew-hate was to the Nazi philosophy. This leads into many of the misconceptions about Nazis and the holocaust that regularly pop up, so it bears discussing what Nazis believed about racism and the Jews.

The Nazi conception of "race" was much narrower and "scientific" than we think of it today. The Nazi conception of race was that humans were split into subgroups with distinct traits, that set them apart from each other and gave them advantages in a great and bloody contest of the races. These races pattern on better to ethnicities, nationalities, or even language groups, than race as we think of it today, which is why it would make sense in a Nazi framework to talk about an Irish race, or a Polish race, for example. And of course in the Nazi mind, these races were a real biological reality, and not a social and cultural construct, and the strength and purity of a fit race might be lost through race mixing.

And of course races were differently fit or unfit, superior or inferior, and through the races warring against each other in a battle of the fittest, the superior race would rise above the rest, and subjugate the earth. Hitler came of age in a time of scarcity, war, and famine, and he believed there was no way to feed the entirety of the human race, so eliminating the lesser races through this perpetual struggle of races against each other was the only way for humanity to survive. It was all very Darwinian except that it completely misunderstood how the Darwinian model of evolution actually works, since the unit of selection was the nonexistent race, not the individual.

This struggle of the races was in Hitler and the Nazis' conception not only natural and necessary, but good. Conquest and the slaughter of inferior races was good. The state of the world with nation states and silly notions like laws, and morals, this was bad and unnatural. Humanity, or the strongest race, needed to do away with this system, or humans would all perish of starvation in a degenerate race-mixed scrum. The Nazis were heros, looking to save humanity from this foul unnatural state it had been tricked into adopting.

Tricked by the machinations of one race. One race had broken away from the others, and learned how to hack the system, to survive over under the rule of other races, when it should have been destroyed as a weaker lesser race. This race figured out how to lie and cheat, and live off other races as a parasite, while controlling them from within with fake, unnatural, vile concepts of laws, ethics, notions of justice and compassion, human rights, and international cooperation. And also with money. That race was the Jews.

In the Nazi mind, other races might be lesser, weaker, worthy only of a slow starvation under Nazi rule, but Jews, Jews were unique, special. Weak but cunning, only the Jews had figured out how to subvert and pervert the noble struggle of the races. The Jews were not only especially hated in the Nazi mind but they also served an explanatory purpose. The Jews were the reason humans were not in what the Nazis viewed as a state of nature, and the reason that the areas hadn't eliminated all the other races and taken over the world already. And anything that went wrong for the Nazis was of course caused by Jewish manipulation. The Jews had to be stripped of their unnatural power and control, and eliminated quickly, to keep them from continuing to undermine the strongest race, the Aryan Germans.

Early on, there was some discussion about how this was to be done. The mass slaughter of Jews under this philosophy might have been inevitable but it wasn't obviously inevitable to all Nazis. The important thing was to reduce the Jews to a state of nature, to take away their unnatural control, and leave them in the position of any other lesser race. This is where ideas, like sending all the Jews to Madagascar, to "build their own state" but really to inevidably die in the wilderness, came from. If Jews were separated from their stronger hosts, the logic went, they would just be one more weaker race and they would die just the same. This was also why so many Nazis took a special delight in simply denying captive Jews the means of survival, leaving them to starve, freeze, and die of disease in a state of nature, without the resources they had parasitically leached out of their host races.

But that process took too long. There were simply too many Jews, and too many (to the Nazi mind) Jewish controlled enemies. As Germany and the Axis' began to lose the war, and then as that loss became increasingly only a matter of time, the Nazis ramped up their efforts to kill Jews, by bullet and by gas, because if they could kill enough Jews, surely that Jewish control over their enemies would break and the Aryans among those enemies what recognize their racial interest, and join with the Germans, giving them victory. Instead the resources poured into the wholesale murder of Jews were resources stripped from the Nazi war machine, hastening the Allied victory.

Antisemitism wasn't simply one more bigotry for the Nazis to tack onto their general racism. It was foundational to the Nazi conception of how the world functioned. It was the explanitory mechanism in the Nazis' conspiratorial framework. And with this philosophy at the core of Nazism, the Holocaust became not only inevitable, but the highest calling of the Nazis, their sacrifice for humanity, or at least what was left of humanity after the strongest race had triumphed over all the others. Very little about Nazism is unique. Their militarism, their glorification of violence and struggle, their racial pseudo-Darwinianism, certainly their conspiratorial antisemitism, all had plenty of precident long before they came on the scene. It was their particularly potent combination of these existing elements that made them Nazis. And in this combination, it was the Jew-hate which held everything together and which provided the energizing force.

[shybluebirdninja]

Claw Machine Master

Summary: Logan becomes obsessed with winning you a prize at the claw machine, but after burning through a hundred bucks and failing miserably, he uses his actual claws to grab the toy, setting off alarms. “Babe, I won, now run!”

Pairing             : Mutant!Logan Howlett x Gf!Human-reader Genre              : Fluff

You and Logan stroll through the arcade, the air buzzing with the sounds of laughter, beeping machines, and the smell of buttery popcorn. It’s one of those rare days where he’s not off saving the world or being a total grump. Instead, he’s decided to channel his inner child, and honestly, it’s hilarious watching this grizzly mutant navigate through a world of flashing lights and pastel-colored prizes.

“Hey, babe, check it out!” he shouts, pointing dramatically at a claw machine that’s blaring “Pick Me! Pick Me!” like a desperate kid at a birthday party. Inside, you see a plush unicorn, all sparkly and cute. It’s practically begging to be won.

“Logan, don’t,” you warn, laughing. “Remember the last time you tried to win me something? You ended up breaking the machine.”

“Yeah, but that was a fluke! This time will be different,” he insists, all pumped up and ready to go. You can practically see the gears turning in his head, and you know that if he goes in, he’s gonna give it everything he’s got.

“Alright, but I’m standing back. I don’t want to be an accessory to a crime,” you tease.

He throws you a playful glare. “Pfft. How hard can it be? It’s just a claw.”

He approaches the machine like it’s a life-or-death situation. The little screen flashes “Insert Coins,” and Logan pops in a couple of bucks like he’s preparing for war. He adjusts his stance, rolling his shoulders back as if he’s about to take on a Sentinal. You stifle a laugh, taking a step back to observe.

“Alright, watch and learn, honey,” he says, smirking at you. “Claw Machine Master at work.”

The first attempt? A total flop. The claw barely grazes the unicorn before plummeting back down like a rock. Logan’s jaw tightens, his competitive side kicking in. “Okay, that was a warm-up. Just getting the feel for it.”

“Sure, let’s call it that,” you giggle, arms crossed, enjoying the show.

After another few rounds—and about fifty bucks later—he’s starting to get frustrated. “This damn thing is rigged! I swear it’s cheating!” he growls, glaring at the machine as if it just insulted him.

“Or maybe you just suck at claw machines,” you quip. “You’re a master at literally everything else, Logan, but this? Not so much.”

He throws you a playful glare. “Alright, smartass, you think you can do better? Get in there and try!”

You chuckle, shaking your head. “Nah, I’ll let you have this one. It’s more fun watching you lose your mind over a stuffed toy.”

With a snort, he rolls his eyes and goes back for another attempt. After burning through more cash, it’s clear that this unicorn is tougher than any enemy he’s faced. “Babe, I’m gonna win you this prize if it kills me,” he mutters under his breath.

“Let’s hope it doesn’t! I don’t want you to end up in the emergency room because of a stuffed animal!”

Finally, he steps back, looking completely defeated. You can practically see the steam coming out of his ears. “This isn’t over!” he declares, his voice rising like a battle cry. “I’ll get that unicorn if it’s the last thing I do.”

Suddenly, you see that wicked spark in his eye, the one that usually means he’s concocting something insane. “What are you thinking?” you ask, half-excited and half-terrified.

“Watch this,” he smirks, and before you can even process what’s happening, he unsheathes his claws, slicing through the air with a snikt that makes everyone turn to stare.

“Logan, no! Don’t you dare!” you shout, but it’s too late. He lunges at the claw machine and, with surgical precision, he reaches into the glass case.

“Babe, I won! Now run!” he yells, grabbing the unicorn as the machine starts blaring alarms like it’s the end of the world.

You grab his arm, yanking him away from the scene of chaos. “You crazy son of a—let’s get out of here!”

Logan, still holding the plush toy like a trophy, bursts out laughing, running like a madman with you right beside him. “I can’t believe I just did that! I’m like the Robin Hood of claw machines!”

“More like the criminal of claw machines!” you shout, laughing uncontrollably as you dart through the arcade, dodging other players and workers who are now chasing after you both.

As you reach the exit, Logan pulls you into a side alley, still holding the unicorn like a proud parent. “That was wild! Did you see their faces?”

You’re breathless, still giggling as you lean against the wall. “You just committed arcade robbery! And for a stuffed toy!”

He shrugs, grinning widely. “It’s worth it for you, babe. Plus, look at this thing! It’s adorable!”

“Logan, I love it, but next time, maybe let’s just buy a keychain?” you suggest, still trying to catch your breath.

“Where’s the fun in that?” he laughs, wrapping his arm around you, pulling you close. “Next adventure, babe. We’ll get matching unicorns or something.”

[bronze-vermithor]

Freedom

aegon ii/lyseni!reader, aemond/lyseni!reader

summary: Aemond is in an arranged marriage with a Lyseni woman. She does not like him but she does like his brother Aegon.

warnings: reader hates Aemond, reader and Aegon only talk but emotional cheating?

note: this is not the same Lyseni!reader from my other fic Isolation. In my first draft, this fic took place during the Dance but I decided that might complicate things and took out anything implying what time this is set during. I also went with the book's canon of Otto being the one who thought of the alliance with the Triarchy. But since this fic doesn't take place during the Dance any longer, the alliance got created earlier than canon. If that doesn't really make sense then so be it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Aemond’s wife stood at the window, gazing out at the darkening skies of King’s Landing, her expression as stormy as the gathering clouds. The oppressive air of Westeros choked her, just as its rigid customs stifled her spirit. Everything here felt like a prison, much like her husband Aemond.

Lys had felt like a world of freedom, alive with color, music, and indulgence. Here in Westeros, her every move was scrutinized. They expected her to play the role of the dutiful wife, to behave like a proper lady, and to mind her tongue and fall in line. It was a dull, suffocating existence, and Aemond, dutiful, and unyielding, was the embodiment of everything she despised about this place.

She did not choose Aemond. Their marriage had been arranged. Her father, with Otto Hightower’s careful planning, had sealed the alliance between her family and the crown. Her father was a wealthy magister who had strong ties to the Triarchy and Otto Hightower hoped he could potentially use that connection in the future if a war over succession ever broke out. Or something like that. She didn’t really care about their politics here.

She didn’t arrive in King’s Landing wanting to hate her life here. She wasn’t excited but she had been hopeful that her and her husband would find common ground. But immediately there had been no warmth in Aemond’s gaze when he first looked upon her, only a cold calculation. He was a man with a constant chip on his shoulder who held infinite grudges. He was stern and seemingly had no sense of humor. His presence made her feel wary and uncomfortable.

But Aegon was different.

A small smile touched her lips as she thought of her husband’s brother. Aegon was everything Aemond was not. He was wild, carefree, reckless, and perhaps a little too fond of wine and women. In his company, she found laughter, something sorely missing from her life in the Red Keep. With Aegon, she felt alive again, a stark contrast to the cold, rigid man she was bound to.

The sound of heavy boots echoed outside her chambers, and she knew it was Aemond before the door even opened. When he entered, the air seemed to chill, the tension between them thickening.

“Where were you today?” His voice was sharp, he was suspicious.

She didn’t bother to turn. “In the gardens,” she replied, keeping her tone cool, though they both knew it wasn’t the full truth.

Aemond stepped closer, his single eye narrowing. “With my brother, no doubt.”

She finally turned to face him. “He’s better company than you,” she snarked with a teasing smile.

Aemond’s jaw clenched. “You dishonor yourself by being around him. My deviant brother is no better than the whores he spends his nights with.”

“And yet,” she said, her voice cutting, “he’s far more tolerable than you.”

Aemond’s fury flared. “You are my wife,” he growled, his voice low and dangerous. “Your place is with me, not parading about with Aegon.”

“I never wanted to be your wife,” she shot back, her voice rising. “My father gave me away like an object. I didn’t choose this life and I refuse to suffer in silence. At least your brother treats me like a person, unlike you.”

Aemond’s fingers twitched, a dark shadow passing over his face. For a moment, she thought he might strike her. Instead, he turned sharply, his back rigid, hands clenched.

“You will stop this,” he said, his tone soft yet menacing. “You will not see him again.”

She laughed bitterly. “You can’t keep trying to control me forever Aemond.”

“I can,” he replied coldly, “and I will.”

As Aemond stormed out of her chambers, her heart pounded in her chest. Each confrontation only strengthened her resolve. She would not remain trapped forever. Aegon was her key to escape.

Later, when Aemond was called away for some reason or another, she quietly slipped away, her footsteps soft but determined as she made her way to Aegon’s chambers.

She found him lounging on a chaise, a half-empty goblet in hand. His smirk widened when he saw her enter.

“Well, well,” Aegon drawled, setting his cup aside. “Come to escape my oh-so-noble brother?”

She smiled faintly, moving closer. “You could say that. I find your company much more interesting.”

Aegon’s grin widened, and he gestured for her to sit beside him. “I imagine Aemond is about as enjoyable as a cold bath. I don’t know how you stand him.”

“I don’t,” she replied, sitting down with a sigh. “I survive him.”

Aegon laughed, his hand brushing against hers casually. “That’s all anyone can do in this place. But you…” he tilted his head, his eyes appraising her. “You were made for more. Freedom. Pleasure.”

She felt lured in by his words, the rebellious part of her coming to life at what he said. It made her recall the memory of her life before she was bound by the restrictions of Westeros. With Aegon, she could almost pretend she was back in Lys, where laughter and wine flowed as freely as the sea breeze.

“And what would you know of freedom Aegon?” she teased, her tone genuine but curious. “You may live without care, but you’re still bound by your title and by your family.”

Aegon shrugged, reclining further. “Perhaps. But I take my pleasures where I can. Wine, women, a good fight. Isn’t that enough?”

She turned to face him more fully, leaning closer as her voice softened. “It’s not enough for me. I don’t want to simply indulge in pleasures. I want to be completely unshackled.”

Aegon’s smile faltered, just for a moment, as he studied her face. “You never will be as long as you’re married to him, you know.”

Her throat tightened at the truth of his words. Aemond would never grant her the liberty she craved. His jealousy had already grown stronger, especially over her time spent with Aegon.

“I know,” she whispered. “But I’ll take whatever I can get, even if it’s stolen moments like this.”

Aegon’s hand lingered on hers. “Then take more. Aemond doesn’t have to rule you.”

Her breath caught at the implication behind his words. She knew Aemond’s jealousy was close to boiling over, but wasn’t that what she wanted? To push him, to see the cracks in his usual icy facade? Maybe then he might show some personality for once.

“I won’t be his prisoner forever,” she said, her voice quiet but firm. “I refuse to be.”

Aegon smiled again, more genuine this time. “Good. You deserve better than to waste away under his control.”

They drank to that, to freedom, in whatever form they could find it. As their cups clinked together, she felt a surge of something reckless, much like the man sitting beside her. In Aegon, she could forget, if only for a little while, the heavy dull weight of life in Westeros. Here, she could breathe again. She could feel alive.

But even as they laughed and drank, she knew they were playing a dangerous game. She knew Aemond was not a man to be trifled with. She knew his jealousy was growing more intense with every passing day. She knew how much he disliked his own brother. It was only a matter of time before it all boiled over. And when it finally does, the consequences would be far worse than either of them could imagine.

I thought about writing another part but in Aemond's perspective so we could understand from his point of view why he's seemingly a bit harsh in this. But I'm undecided on if I will or not.

[blissfulphilospher]

if they adapt Robert's Rebellion

I don't want to give anyone ideas but if they ever make Robert Rebellion's tv or movie version then Robert Baratheon is going to be portrayed as the worst man ever who raped woman here and there and probably assaulted Lyanna.

And that's why she ran away with the tragic melancholic godly prince who was so noble and good but trapped in a marriage with either an unstable chronically ill brown woman or a scheming ambitious brown woman who doesn't love him at all and maybe cheats on him.

Tragic King Aerys who loves his family and wants to burn the whole city because he has a good cause!! Sacrifices will wake dragons! Dragons eggs could have hatched before Dany! Aerys' was a genius. And yes Rhaella supported him and Rhaegar with everything.

It was House Targaryen against the world.

Also, Tywin Lannister was best buddy of Aerys. He sent the Mountain and Amory Lorch to protect the royal family! Those noble knights who accidentally killed the little girl maybe because he couldn't identify whether the Princess was Targaryen or not? Maybe she wasn't.

The Mountain too had similar accidents because Aegon isn't the ptwp or he doesn't exist at all. Problem solved! Rhaegar had no son! This is true! Jon is his only son!!

And let's not forget how hard it was for the Mountain and other guy to climb the building, their struggle to get in Maegor's Holdfast!! They will show us that, than the Princess who is trapped helplessly in a tower with a drawbridge, drawn up and no way to escape with her children.

But no problem that those children died, they were nothing special no one mourns them or their mother. They deserved to be killed and forgotten. House Martell supports Targaryens! They will rise for Jon if they knew! True love of the prince Rhaegar already gave him the only son. Aegon 6th!!

And see a noble honourable Stark lord will raise because 'song ice and fire!' 'prophecy baby' and not because he is the last piece of his sister and that's what any uncle will do.

And… Jon Arryn? Who is Jon Arryn? Why does he want to rebel? He has no reason! (His heir was also murdered idk why people forget that!)

And yes the war was started by Littlefinger if you didn't know before he hyped up Brandon to march to KL. 😄

[silantryoo]

BONUS [ LIKEALOOK ] — mansion parties

aeri uchinaga's mansion, gangnam-gu, seoul, korea.

WARNINGS ; intoxication, implied coercion, peer pressure, cheating, gaslighting, driving under the influence, drugs (cannabis usage), illegal substance use (5.1k)

yoo jimin loved parties.

she loved the faint smoke in the air, blurring the dim lights as swirls danced around above the twenty-something olds in the house. the rum, although cheap, gave her a sense of comfort that she knew all too well.

the dullness, the nausea. everything was perfectly disastrous. a concoction of all her dreams and hopes that amount to nothing but a strained knee, and years of aggravation to be overshadowed by her junior.

but most of all, she loved the smell of weed. it was almost as intoxicating as the leers girls would give her, undressing her with their eyes as she walked across the room.

she was wanted. she was loved.

jimin knew it was just for her body, for her face that she just happened to be gifted with. she knew that people would wage war just to look like her.

she was yoo jimin.

she hated it.

she hated the weight of her name, the last memory of her father dangling in front of her, mocking her like she does to herself in front of her mirror. she hated her face, the world too shallow to see the girl beneath, exhausted beyond belief. she hated her anger, volatile and quick to rise, none of which she had (nor wanted) control over.

she hated it. she hated herself. she hated everything. she hated the divorce, she hated the volleyball net that always seemed too high, she hated-

"minnie?"

she knew that voice.

it echoed in the back of her head when she didn't run fast enough, when she didn't play hard enough, when she looked at herself in the mirror and all she saw was a washed-out athlete.

it rang through her ears and into her veins when she saw jang wonyoung... when she saw l/n y/n.

jimin heart dropped, and despite her entire body screaming - begging, she turned, the heaviness in her chest crushing the remnants of her heart.

"yeji?"

y/n's anxiety was at an all-time high.

although part of her was ecstatic to finally stand her ground, a bigger part was terrified.

jimin was horrifying when she was angry, and y/n refused to see the sight of a blood-splattered, fist-shaped imprint on the wall again.

her eyes darted methodically, scanning the crowd of university alumni and students every few seconds before repeating.

once to the right, where choi yena was doing a keg stand near the kitchen (or trying to despite alexandra baek's very adamant demands for her to shut up and slow down), once to the middle where a sea of people crowded the entrance to the mansion foyer embellished with intricate swirls of gold and red, and once to the left where the room extended to a greater, much bigger hall that seemed to be the dining room.

there was no sign of jimin, and y/n didn't know if that scared her or reassured her.

"you okay?" minjeong grabbed her hand, squeezing it lightly.

despite the older girl's effort to reassure her, it only worsened the churning in her stomach. minjeong's icy hands were a reminder of her anxieties, and if it weren't for her iron grip, y/n would've pulled away.

"jimin's gonna kill me, unnie." y/n looked again. right, middle, left. "i shouldn't be here."

she's gonna kill me. she's really gonna kill me.

"you'll be fine." yuri grabbed her shoulder, smiling at the girl as if y/n's body wasn't screaming for her to leave the uchinaga residence. "just get drunk out of your mind and you'll forget all about her."

y/n shook her head, her palms tingling from the heightened fear.

being drunk meant lowering her guard, and that meant there was a higher chance of jimin seeing her.

y/n couldn't have a repeat of her last party at the uchinaga's.

"what if she finds me?" y/n felt like a colony of bees had overtaken her lungs.

minjeong looked at the two other girls, the worry etched on y/n's face setting waves of deja vu through them. she could feel the slight tremble of her hand, and the uncharacteristic waver of her voice.

she knew what this was. it was pure, unadulterated fear.

kim minjeong really hated yoo jimin.

"she won't." minju smiled, her eyes sincere despite the fear swirling through them. "we'll be here."

so will jimin. y/n couldn't help but think.

"yeah, unnie!" jiwon spoke up, her smile beaming past the others' dim ones. the younger girl was the only one out of all of them who hadn't truly experienced what jimin could do. "plus, i'm planning on staying sober."

y/n envied the girl, forgetting at that moment that she was dating the latter.

minju scoffed, her eyes rolling. "like i'm letting you drink."

jiwon glanced at her older sister, and that was enough for the girls' to know how the university freshman actually felt.

yuri crossed her arms, y/n scanning the right once more to hear the loud cheers chanting yena's name.

"you are such a buzz kill, kim minju."

minjeong followed the girl's eyes, grimacing at the older girl who seemed to be drowning in beer.

"the hell am i supposed to do?" minju's eyes scanned jiwon's face. "let her drink? she said she didn't want to."

jiwon looked at yuri, almost pleading with her to stop (or to continue. yuri wasn't that good at reading people).

"jiwon. baby kim." yuri squished the taller girl's cheeks. jiwon's face turned bright red, both from the proximity of yuri, and from the unsettling prescence of minju's anger. "do you want to drink?"

minju looked at her, an eyebrow-raising.

jiwon bit her tongue, not wanting to anger the older girl by commenting on how much she looked like their mom at that exact moment.

"um-"

minjeong's head turned back to the three, while y/n busied herself scanning the entire visible area for jimin.

she couldn't forget about jimin again. forgetting about jimin meant letting her guard down. y/n can't let down her guard, not when jimin is high, drunk, or both.

lily morrow knew what happened when y/n did.

"you can say yes, you can say no." yuri let go of jiwon's face, patting her shoulder lightly as smoke blew behind her. "but i'm only accepting it if it's your decision."

jiwon took a glimpse at her older sister, using the same guideline as she does with her mom.

one eyebrow arched was a warning, two eyebrows furrowed meant she was safe, and a frown meant she were in trouble for a light scolding. no expression meant jiwon was fucked.

minju currently had a frown.

"but minju-unnie-"

"fuck her." yuri inturpted, as if the vice president of the student council was no where near the two. "yes or no?"

jiwon stared at minju, trying to decipher her as y/n scanned the room again.

her sister's frown deepened at jiwon's hesitance, while yuri's appeared.

"...yes."

jiwon glanced.

minju had no expression.

"minjeong." yuri's voice dripped with pure happiness. "take her to the booze."

minjeong looked at y/n, then at yuri.

"why me?"

she didn't want to leave y/n when she was in this state, but god, did she love pissing minju off.

"you're the only one here that doesn't drink because of your ibs."

minjeong felt y/n stiffen, and for a moment she thought that the younger girl had seen the devil herself, but when she turned, y/n was staring at her... giggling.

"it's not ibs." minjeong felt her nose go red. "it's acid reflux, you idiot."

yuri shrugged, moving jiwon towards the older girl. "it still comes out of some hole."

y/n cleared her throat, and although minju was fuming, she couldn't help but let a chuckle escape.

"i'll kill you." minjeong let go of y/n, glaring at yuri as if her eyes were lasers. "minju, please stay with y/n so the yena groupie doesn't get her blackout drunk."

yuri punched the girl's shoulder.

"i think i should go with you." minju tried to reason, minjeong rubbing her arm as yuri stuck her tongue out at her. "jiwon's my sister-"

"i'll watch her." minjeong reassured. "i'm stupid, not irresponsible."

"but-"

"say bye-bye, baby kim."

jiwon grinned timidly, the dimple on her cheek not even showing. "sorry, unnie."

minjeong led the younger girl to the right, passing the keg stand that yena had absolutely failed at and making a beeline to the kitchen.

minjeong's eyes lightened as she ushered jiwon closer to what looked like spiked punch.

handing jiwon a cup, minjeong took a closer inspection at the pletohra of tiny, colorful bags with labels of THC printed on the bottom.

of course, the uchinaga family would have access to oversea's cannabis (not that minjeong minded).

thirty minutes later, the party was finally in full swing, the three-story mansion at full capacity, the bass of the built-in speakers shaking the it lightly.

zico played through the speakers while the smoke was starting to accumulate into a thick fog. the ceiling was covered in a light mist, flowing through the airducts and out to the many vents of the house. the smell of skunk was sure to stain the furniture for a couple of days, but aeri was sure that a couple (dozen) canisters of febreze would do the trick.

gaeul managed to squeeze the door open from the outside, smog immediately exiting as the other girl's entered.

"this is why you don't drink and drive, ahn yujin."

"i know." yujin blushed, closing the door with a sheepish smile. "we got it fixed though? plus the repairs are less than six hundred thousand won, so we'll be fine."

gaeul looked at her for a moment, rei shaking her head in the back as wonyoung scanned the area from right to the left.

"are you insane?"

"the road was blurry, okay?" yujin frowned, making her way in front of the shorter girl to push past the sea of people. "how was i supposed to know it was a curb?"

gaeul heard her name, and she waved to one of the girls that she had already forgotten the name of. she looked familiar, most likely from after a game, or practice, or class. gaeul couldn't remember.

yujin looked at gaeul.

"maybe with your eyes, unnie." rei rolled her eyes. she looked at wonyoung. "i hope y/n and them are still here."

wonyoung shook her head. "they might've left already."

gaeul scanned the room once more. ryujin told her she was gonna be here, and the setter wasn't in the mood to see her right now. her focus was on wonyoung, and getting the girl moderately tispy.

yujin bit her lip, looking at the tall girl with a frown. "sorry, wonnie."

"it's okay, unnie." wonyoung sighed, rei's eyes staring at the back of her head. "i don't think she even likes me, as delusional as i am."

delusional. gaeul knows that word too well.

gaeul turned to look at yujin, expecting her bright, puppy-like smile, but familiarity was something that was ingrained in her psyche, and there was nothing more familiar than the girl who ruined her life.

"she's delusional." yujin grinned, looking at the older girl. "right, gaeul-unnie?"

hwang yeji. all she saw was hwang yeji.

yujin stopped, "gaeul-unnie?"

she shouldn't have come today.

"hey, wonnie?" gaeul eyes were dull, just like the first day she met the younger girl. "wanna get shit-faced?"

jimin wanted to go home.

she wanted to feel the comfort of her ikea duvet, and watch the shitty drama that she'd fall asleep to on days when practice was hard. jimin wanted her laptop, where she'd rewatch her gameplay again and again, dissecting every little mistake until it eventually tore into her self worth. she wanted the glare of her phone, her heart fluttering as she texted y/n.

she wanted everything but this, everything but the reminder of yeji.

"jesus, jimin." aeri hobbled the taller girl into the living room, greeting the people she passed. "it's only one and you're already slurring your words."

"she asked me how i am." jimin laughed maniacally. "who does she think she is?"

aeri frowned, her hand patting the small of jimin's back.

"can you sit down?" aeri sighed, leaning over as jimin toppled onto her beige couch. "i swear to god, if you throw up on my carpet i will kill you."

jimin smiled.

"is that a promise?"

"stop it." aeri brushed her hair out of her face, the volleyball player's eyes trained on the dome-shaped ceiling. jimin wondered if she could play volleyball at this state. "i'm gonna get you water. you better stay put or i'll shove a vodka glass up your nostril."

jimin hummed, not hearing a response after.

she wondered if aeri had left, or if she was just staring at the girl in disappointment. it didn't matter. either way, jimin knew she was the latter.

sighing, she turned her head to the foyer, the door opening slightly as a figure managed to squeeze through.

huh.

jimin stood up.

the girl was her height. her face seemed tailored, almost too perfect to be natural but jimin knew it was. and her eyes. she knew them anywhere. the tired, unsatisfied swirl of dissatisfaction was a trait that she too, held.

it was like staring at a mirror.

"hey."

"um," the girl looked innocent, and jimin couldn't help but smile. "hello?"

"you're nakamura kazuha, right?"

kazuha blinked at her. "yeah?"

"yoo jimin." jimin pointed at herself, trying hard not to slur her words more than she should. "i'm yunjin's close friend."

close friend was a stretch that jimin was willing to take if that meant she was going to get laid.

"oh?" kazuha didn't look convinced. "yunjin's never mentioned you."

"i swear, that bitch." jimin laughed as if her and the middle blocker were anywhere near speaking terms. "are you looking for her?"

"yeah." kazuha sighed, tiredly. "is she here yet?"

jimin bit her tongue. she guessed that yunjin's phone had died a while ago, seeing as the girl had been here to help yena and her stupid pack of helpers set up for today.

whatever. her loss.

"not yet." jimin shook her head, the younger girl somehow believing her. "i could wait for her with you if you want. there's some jello shots and fireballs in the sunroom."

the ballerina looked at her, scanning her face and stopping at her mouth. a hunger, jimin deduced, was what she was seeing in huh yunjin's girlfriend.

jimin couldn't help but mentally thank aeri for letting her use her lip gloss.

"i don't think i should."

jimin's dark, hazy eyes captured kazuha's.

"it wouldn't hurt." kazuha hesitated. it took everything in jimin just to push once more, to not leave the girl alone. "c'mon, you're gonna let yunjin have all the fun?"

kazuha looked around. it was wrong to entertain a drunk girl, especially when she was in a relationship. "uh, i don't-"

"kazuha-ssi." jimin smiled, her teeth never showing and neither her intentions. "i'm not taking no for an answer."

jimin watched the girl, and the party roared as kazuha came to her decision.

"just one shot."

"good." perfect, even. "now, stay close. i don't want you getting lost."

kazuha looked at the side of jimin's face, and all she saw was a ballerina's dream. perfection.

"thank you, jimin-ssi." kazuha blushed.

jimin couldn't wait to see how this played out.

"thank you."

yuri had lost minju in the crowd earlier.

usually, the girl would've been aggravated, trying to find her vice president who seemed to like to wander the halls when she was drunk out of her mind, blabbering about her lover or something.

luckily, said lover had taken the girl away, and part of yuri finally understood why minju was so hung up on kim chaewon. the singer was always there, and so was minju. despite chaewon never saying the l word, her constant presence in minju's life was telling enough.

if only her and yena were like that.

yuri stumbled around, going through the pool entrance as a tipsy (drunk) y/n steadied her.

"alexandra!"

alex's face dropped as she talked to yena. "oh my god."

the international student turned to the very drunken girl, yena following her as if she hadn't just puked in the bushes of the uchinaga residence.

"holy fuck."

yena looked at her younger friend, wondering why she had kept this random girl away from her grasp.

she stood up, wiping the spit from her mouth as yuri approached. she needed to look at least put together if she wanted to pull, and not some alcoholic that got held back a year. behind her, yena recognized y/n, her cat-like eyes impossible to mistake for someone else.

yuri threw herself onto alex, as yena scanned y/n.

"aren't you wonnie's ex slash jimin's new plaything?"

plaything?

"unnie."

"what?" yena shrugged. the entire team knew about y/n one way or another, considering that jimin tended to dangle the girl in front of wonyoung like a dog treat. "is she not?"

y/n tightened her jaw. "i'm jimin's girlfriend."

"yeah, okay." jimin did always like them delusional. "that's what they all say."

yuri looked at y/n, part of her sobering up and ready to fight the love of her life if it came to (perhaps it would be a great story for their future kids).

"all?"

"unnie," alex nudged her. "stop it."

"what?" yena whined, tired of getting scolded by the younger girl. "she's not even jimin's type."

alex was at her limit.

"i will sew your mouth shut."

"no." y/n ushered, her brain not fully registering what was happening. jimin couldn't have been cheating on her. sure, she was an asshole, but jimin loved her, right? "let her continue."

alex closed her eyes, praying that yena would keep her mouth shut just for a moment.

"it's not my fault that jimin likes to fuck pretty things." yena muttered, her words loud enough to echo in y/n's brain.

"dude."

"it's not like she's actually jimin's girlfriend."

"are you dumb?" alex closed her eyes, yuri glancing at the younger girl beside her. "she is. and you just told her that her girlfriend is cheating on her."

jimin wouldn't cheat. she loved y/n. she was the one who stayed, the one who was there when wonyoung had left her many months ago. she was the one who held her close and whispered that everything was going to be okay as long as she had her.

jimin couldn't have.

"jimin's cheating on me?"

"um..." alex scratched her cheek lightly, unsure of what to do as yena undressed yuri with her eyes. "jimin likes people... things that look like her. so she can ruin them, i guess."

yena turned to her, frowning.

"should you be airing this out?"

"fuck yoo jimin." alex rolled her eyes, her brown irises glaring at the blue water in front of her. "she ruined my life."

"yeji ruined your life."

"she is yeji."

yeji. y/n had heard that name before, but never from jimin.

she had mentioned it in passing once, and jimin made her swear to never utter the word again. y/n held the older girl for the rest of the night, her thoughts lingering about who yeji was.

jimin told her not to worry about it, because it didn't matter. because jimin loved her.

"jimin wouldn't cheat on me."

"maybe she did, maybe she didn't," alex continued, watching as an exchange student from japan jumped into the pool head first. "but parties are her playground, and she doesn't stop at just one."

yena nodded, "she's like archie in riverdale."

alex turned to the older girl. "are you high?"

"yes."

"wh-" she should've stayed home and studied. "i'm going to strangle you."

y/n felt sick.

y/n turned around, leaving in a hurry to find the girl she was desperately avoiding since earlier. everything was wrong, and she needed wonyoung jimin. she needed her girlfriend.

"y/n!" yuri shouted, too tired to chase after her. she watched as the younger girl's figure disappeared into the crowd. "minju's gonna kill me."

"so," yena started, not caring that yuri's friend just had a massive breakdown in front of her. "wanna go somewhere private?"

yuri looked back at where y/n left, the sea of people erasing the girl's path without a trace.

minju was going to kill her, but she was going to kill herself for letting an opportunity like this pass.

"where the hell is aeri?"

there was something therapeutic about being high and drunk at the same time.

it had the same feeling of a midjump, where jimin's eyes were above the net, looking down at everyone who looked down on her.

she loved it.

"kazuha-ssi." jimin asked, downing another shot. "how long have you and yunjin been together?"

"huh?" kazuha was clearly drunk, her hand placed comfortably around jimin's waist. "a couple months."

jimin hummed, leaning in slightly so the younger girl could hear her better.

"do you love her?" jimin's hot breath grazed the hairs on kazuha's neck.

"i dunno." she didn't. "maybe."

"i see." jimin pulled back, assessing the disappointment that lingered in kazuha's eyes. the opposite hitter moved her hair out of her face. "you're really pretty, by the way."

"so are you."

jimin didn't need to be reminded.

"want some eddies?" she asked, her hand feeling lighter than usual.

"weed?" kazuha's dark eyes met jimin's. "i thought you weren't supposed to take them when you're drunk."

"it's fun when you're not supposed to do things but still do them." jimin said, her hand dangerously high to the ballerina's thigh. "right, kazuha-ssi?"

kazuha looked at her for a moment.

"where are they?"

and everything fell into place.

"let's go upstairs."

minjeong was a thousand percent high out of her mind.

she wasn't sure how much she had taken, but the way her head felt like it was going to explode was enough to say that it was too much. the colors around her seemed brighter, and she didn't know how long she had been lounging in the kitchen, but all she knew was people kept disappearing and appearing in front of her.

she didn't mind though, because jiwon was a talkative drunk, and everything that she was saying made minjeong want to pee her pants.

the girl looked at the five empty packets, wondering why they were all different colors and flavors.

"rei!" jiwon shook her, and it felt like she was getting time warped. "unnie, look it's rei!"

"yeah," minjeong couldn't stop smiling, despite seeing wonyoung. "i can see that."

"i was looking for you." rei frowned, earning a gag from yujin beside her. "it's been an hour."

"huh?" jiwon basically yelled, making minjeong giggle at her theatrics. "that's why my phone was dinging."

rei smiled. "are you drunk?"

"i think so?" jiwon grabbed minjeong by the arms, and the older girl felt them stop working. "minjeong-unnie, am i drunk?"

"yes." minjeong tried to nod, but it looked more like a bobble. "you are."

"where's y/n-unnie?" rei asked once more, wonyoung perking up despite minjeong's distaste.

"um, i dunno." jiwon shrugged. "she was with yuri-unnie and minju-unnie earlier i think."

minjeong leaned up, the weight of her head heavy on her neck.

her eyes made their way to the stairs, where she could see a faint smile on a familiar face, her hand wrapped around the waist of a stranger.

yoo jimin.

"oh." rei hummed. "so they're not here?"

"no."

"wonyoung!" minjeong could hear the taller girl getting called by yuna. still, she didn't take her eyes off jimin. "drink this, and let's go."

"i don't think-" wonyoung tried to protest, but yuna had already shoved the shot glass down her throat.

"drink."

wonyoung was dragged away, presumably to the front where a huge game of cham-cham-cham was happening.

"can you watch her?" minjeong looked at rei, yujin too distracted watching gaeul make out with girl #4 of the night to respond. "i need to see something."

"minju-unnie said to not leave me." jiwon frowned, her eyes wide like a cartoon character.

"then don't tell minju."

"okay."

wonyoung entered the bathroom, both pleased and surprised that there were neither people hooking up, nor a passed-out girl in the bathtub.

she just needed to stay here until yuna had gotten tired and found another person to harrass (most likely haewon, wherever that girl was).

she closed the toilet lid, sitting on it as she grabbed her phone. wonyoung had only been here for an hour and her feet were already killing her.

the door opened.

wonyoung yelped, the stranger covering her eyes. "sorry, i didn't know that-"

"y/n?"

y/n moved her hand out of her face.

"wonyoung?" y/n world slowed for a moment, and it was almost as if her guard broken down. she shook her head. "i can't deal with this right now. i have to find jimin."

"what?" that didn't sound right to wonyoung's ears. she stood up, pulling y/n into the washroom. "are you okay?"

"i-" y/n's face was flushed red, the hairs on the back of her neck clung to her like a koala on a tree. "where's jimin?"

"i don't know." wonyoung said slowly, ushering the girl to sit down on the closed toilet lid. "do you need water?"

"i need to find jimin."

"slow down." wonyoung guided the girl, her delusions pushed aside for a moment. "sit down. please."

"i can't." y/n shook her head, almost vomiting at how quick she did. "jimin-"

"can wait." wonyoung stated, grabbing her purse as she rummaged through it. "water? lipgloss? tissue?"

there was a moment of silence, and wonyoung was afraid she had hallucinated y/n to begin with.

"do you hold everything in your bag?"

"maybe." wonyoung smiled at the earnest chuckle y/n gave her. "so what would you like?"

"water."

wonyoung nodded, handing the girl a bottle of spring water that the volleyball player always had at least one of. y/n couldn't help but smile as the taller girl opened it for her.

wonyoung was the same, and she loved it.

she handed y/n the bottle, the older girl taking a sip before closing it. she could feel the heat from her cheeks emitting against the cold air of the newly renovated bathroom

"did you ever cheat on me?"

"what?" wonyoung's eyes buldged out almost comedically. "no, oh my god. i love you. why would i? did you think i did?"

wonyoung paused for a moment.

did she just...

"no." y/n shook her head, smiling at her in the way wonyoung remembered. "i don't think you did."

wonyoung hummed, pushing the shower curtain aside as she sat on the edge of the golden tub. "do you think jimin-sunbaenim did?"

y/n shrugged. "i don't know."

she didn't want to know, because she knew that deep down, she had hoped jimin did cheat on her.

sensing the uneasiness of the older girl, wonyoung scooted closer to her, the chattering of the other university kids muffled by the bathroom door.

it was almost surreal, if not for the scrubbing bubbles that aeri (or her many butlers and maids) had left on the counter.

"do you like the party?" wonyoung asked.

"huh?" y/n looked over to wonyoung, her eyes glossed over with thought, as if a sheen had covered its entirety. "i guess. it's loud, i'm drunk. you know."

"i do." wonyoung chuckled, her eyes falling down to y/n's hand. there was a slight fidgeting, but it was fading. wonyoung continued to talk. "have you tried yena-unnie's cotton candy shot yet?"

"no."

"it's good." wonyoung had been forced to drink it earlier that week, along with soy soju, apple cider rum and fish sauce vodka. "it tastes like that chocolate we had during first-year orientation."

"i remember!" y/n's eyes brightened in a way they hadn't before. "the one in front of the spanish club sign-up sheet."

wonyoung looked at y/n.

embarrassed, y/n began to fidget once more. "did i remember it wrong?"

"no." wonyoung shook her head. "i'm just wondering how you remembered it so clearly."

safe. y/n felt safe and warm.

the swarm of bees in her chest had morphed into butterflies, and everything felt like a 90s movie, just how she liked it.

just how wonyoung liked it.

"i miss you."

wonyoung stared at y/n.

"what?"

"y/n!" minjeong burst through the door, her eyes red and her stance wobbly. "wonyoung?"

wonyoung looked at the older girl, before minjeong grabbed y/n in a rush.

wonyoung followed them closely, not trusting the inebriated kim minjeong.

"minjeong-unnie?" y/n could feel her wrist starting to hurt. "where are we going?"

"somewhere." minjeong shoved past the swarm, earning curses and complains in her wake. behind her, wonyoung apologized as she continued to tail them.

minjeong turned around. "can you leave us alone?"

"no."

"fucking bitch." minjeong's grip tightened, making y/n wince slightly. "this isn't your business."

"you're high out of your mind right now." wonyoung countered, minjeong's eyes dilated beyond belief. "i don't trust you."

"very fucking original, wonyoung." minjeong laughed, her anger getting amplified by the substance inside her. "you want a medal? or are you gonna trade y/n for that too?"

"unnie."

minjeong turned around, yanking y/n upstairs faster than she could keep up. "let's go."

the older girl turned the first right at the top of the staircase, the lack of people making y/n feel unsettled. she shouldn't be here, this wasn't her house.

before she could protest, minjeong let go of her arm and gestured to the door.

"open this door." y/n could hear faint moaning inside. "open it."

"i don't know-"

"open the fucking door!" minjeong shouted, making y/n flinch into wonyoung.

wonyoung shoved minjeong slightly, but not hard enough to provoke the girl.

"watch what you're saying."

"oh suck me a dick, jang wonyoung." minjeong rolled her eyes.

minjeong hated how wonyoung was trying to play the hero in the story, as if she wasn't the cause of the entire ordeal.

not wanting to anger minjeong any further, y/n creaked the door open, the occupants too lost in their own world to notice a pair of eyes watching them.

y/n had felt this before, the day that wonyoung had left her.

"jimin?"

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[obae-me]

The Brothers and their Nightmares

I was going to post this for Halloween, but things came up as they always do and I couldn't get to finishing it until now. Enjoy the late angst and spoops!

These are just dream scenarios I imagined the Brothers would suffer with, connected to both their Sin and the personal things they struggle with. Most of it is symbolic but could still be triggering for some.

TW: Hurt/No Comfort, Violent Images, Death, Blood, Angst, Nightmare Scenarios, Burning, Broken Bones, Disturbing Scenes that may upset readers. As Always, Read Safely.

Lucifer:

Displayed in a box. Preserved. Hung on a shelf for all to see. Trapped in a clear case with giant pins puncturing his wings and limbs in place. A perfect specimen.

The pain is immense. The torture almost unbearable, but this is where he belongs, right? To be shown off with Pride? To weather any struggles and pain to shine ever brighter in the light? A diamond only need be pressurized, cut, and polished before it's valuable.

Blurry faces of demons and angels and humans alike all pass him by, pointing at him and observing him with awe, sometimes fear, but nothing more. A living piece of art. He's searching for any familiarity amongst the crowd. The people he loves the most, the people he wants to shine for above all, the people he's suffering for!

Please! Give him a reason to endure this crucifixion! Prove to him that this is worth it! Let him know that he's enough! This prison must mean something! Don't say it was all for nothing! Everything he's worked for! Everything he's lamented over, toiled for! Look at him! Appreciate him!

But no one ever comes.

In the end he's left alone. The pins push deeper. The blood dripping from his eyes.

Just a caged butterfly.

--

Mammon:

Glistening palms. Shimmering faces. Gold as far as the eye can see. A perfect shining kingdom. Frozen lifeless subjects. This isn't what he wanted.

Come on, Belphie. Beel? What about you Asmo?... Satan?... No... Levi, please... Hells no... Lucifer!

Unmoving metal lips match each stiff jeweled eye. His hands... He- he had only touched them. That was all he did. Right? All he had done was love them. The Greed had become too much. In his ambition for glory, his corrupted embrace had tainted his family past the flesh. Motionless mannequins, that's all they were now. Cursed to shine till the end of time. His treasures that he had always craved.

Was this what he had wanted all along? No! He had created this all for his family! His friends! His loved ones! They were to all to gimmer with him! Not leave him alone! He did this. He always took things too far. Steal and cheat and lie until nothing remained! Rotten scum! Why couldn't he just listen? Why couldn't he just be better?! Give him a second chance... please. He can be better... Someone say something...

A destiny written in stone. Take. Even the lives of his brothers.

No matter how hard he tries, he only makes things worse.

Surrounded by the Fool's gold.

--

Levi:

Clanging, burning chains. There's a constant deafening buzzing in the air, the chatter of thousands of people. The voices rise and fall in rhythm, like the beating of war drums, or the increasing pace of his heart. He can't think, he can hardly see, and he can't breathe.

Millions of shining eyes stare down at his restrained body in the middle of a stadium. The blinding gazes singe his body, his skin melting off his bones. He's not the only one at the center of attention. Other people, other contestants are here to play the same game. Win, and get everything you ever dreamed. Lose, and be forced to burn with Envy and shame.

Every failed attempt of his makes the arena hotter. The infernal heat spills from the breaths of the crowd sharing his weaknesses to the world. They give his competitors the advantage, kicking him while he's down. The thrumming gets faster. It's not fair! He's trying so hard! Was he just doomed from the start? Was he born a failure? Hated by the universe since the moment of conception?! Is that why he's never good enough? Is that why all his brothers get to move on without him?!

His dreams always just out of reach. He's not good enough to be loved.

The bitterness eats him up from the inside.

Till he's melted into a pile of nothing.

--

Satan:

A mess of strings. The curtain is drawn. The show begins! It's the same routine day after day after day after day-- He can't take this any more!

He doesn't even understand this masquerade! The story he's forced to play out is gibberish, some fickle plot he can't even begin to fathom. Everything is foreign to him. The audience, the dance, his body, his Wrath. None of it is recognizable. And they chuckle like they know, like they enjoy his ignorance. Limbs are pulled in any direction the strings choose. Bones broken, lips sealed shut, he's pushed to the brink of oblivion once again.

But he worked so hard! Everything he's read, everything he learned, so he could stop feeling like this! He's not just a hollow doll, controlled by someone else's ambitions! He has thoughts, he has feelings! He might... not fully understand them yet, but he's trying! Tell him he's smart, that he's strong, that he's his own person! Let him stand on his own!

But only his mind is allowed to scream as the congregation watches.

A wicked dance until the strings are snipped. His opportunity to be independent. But instead, he falls into a lifeless heap on the floor.

Nothing without someone else.

The poor wooden plaything will never be real.

--

Asmo:

An endless winding labyrinth of mirrors. He runs, panting and crying as he tries to find his way through the illusions. Make it stop! Let him have peace!

The creatures are invisible to his normal eyes, only showing up in the reflections of the mirrors surrounding him. There's hundreds of them at least, crawling over each other to get to him. They don't even make a sound, silently scrambling towards him. An amalgamation of Lust. Each time they grab him, they take something precious from him. His fingernails, strands of his hair, his beautiful lips, the blush from his cheeks. They rip off of him as easily as tearing away a puzzle piece.

They're stripping him of his beauty bit by bit! How is he supposed to be loved like this?! If he's not gorgeous, than what is he? He has nothing left! This is all he has! He's not strong, or smart, or powerful! His physical charm is all he has! Please, leave him alone! He's supposed to be a jewel! That's all anyone ever sees him as!

He can't bear to look at himself. Every time he glances he's slightly different. Until he no longer recognizes the humanoid shell in the mirror. But he has no choice to keep looking if he wants to keep an eye on the monsters pursuing him.

A single fumble.

It's rather quick and painless as the souls each take what they want from him.

And leave him broken in shards on the floor.

--

Beel:

Screams echo from every direction. Buildings crumble as the earth shakes and the air hums. A moving living black cloud sweeps through the town. Where's his family? He has to help.

The sky a vast pool of crimson as the Celestial Sun and Demonic Moon cross paths and cast a torrent of blood down onto the merging realms. The ground beneath them all trembles, growling. It's Gluttonous. Every person he tries to save is always just too far away. They either get consumed from the plague of insects or fall into the gaping maws of the starving earth. And he still can't find his family.

Why? Why is this happening? Why isn't he strong enough to save anyone?! All the workouts, all the training, pushing his muscles stronger than any demon ever has, all so he can quit feeling so useless! He told himself he would be ready to take on anything! Even an entire army if he had to, just so he could save somebody for once! Lilith... Belphie… everyone... he's sorry... Sorry he's so weak. This is his fault.

The foundation beneath his feet begins to crumble.

His wings feel far too fragile to fly.

It makes sense that in the End of Days, no one would be there to save him.

He didn't deserve it.

--

Belphie:

There's something rotten in his chest. It feels like a pit in his soul, growing larger with every passing second. The sensation is agonizing.

It's something no one can see, but something he feels with every breath. It's very slowly stripping him of everything he is. His love, his memories, his desires... He needs to go find help. The House is laid out all wrong. Doors lead to where they shouldn't, hallways bend in the wrong directions. His house doesn't even feel like home anymore. Every step feels harder than it should. The supposedly easy task of getting help seeming more like an impossible feat. This rot is more than just Sloth. It takes what seems like hours to finally find his family. That's when he reaches out to them, trying to tell them what's wrong. But he can't speak for some reason.

Gestures and panicked grasping means nothing to his brothers. The desperation in his eyes goes ignored as most simply rub his head or push him off to the side, not taking him seriously in the least. But this hurts! He can't take the pain anymore! Someone help him! Don't push him away, don't treat it like a joke! Listen to him! Take what he has to say into consideration! He can't possibly speak over six other voices!

His efforts wasted, his energy depleted.

The rot ate away at his heart and left him numb.

And everyone walked away, leaving the boy who cried to cry alone.

[hexhomos]

oh god I'm freaking out now. I did not watch the leaks, but I had read some (similar) opinions and choose to ignore it because I don't trust the general media analysis capabilities of like 70% of tumblr. But I do trust you and I like reading your vikjayce and doomreed thoughts... is it really that bad? Isn't there anything salvageable?

Don't click readmore if you don't want vague spoilers.

I genuinely have no emotional investment in much, if not majority of what happens in s2. Maybe this is because I'm an industryperson and not exactly awed by the idea of 'inversion' for pointless inversion's sake, maybe because the past year of publicly televised USA-backed genocides have made arcane's fraught politics more detestable than ever. I abhor how married this show is to the message that every atrocity, no matter how vile or senseless, is 'committed for love' as an easy way to sidestep discussions of capitalism, exploitation, imperialism, and all the systematically-enforced evils that make up the reason Why this world is so brutally unfair. They literally took a guy whose entire deal is building human centipedes in his basement, making weapons of war, and inflicting as much pain as possible for the sake of a laugh and said 'oh... he does this for love,' and i felt like throwing rocks at the screen for how stupid that shit is.

The episodes I've seen feel shallow, limited and empty in their writing; the world has a raindrop's depth. There are maybe 10 people total in these cities and everyone else is a nameless, vapid NPC, functionally indistinct outside of how they rack up morale for a certain character. The animation is still kinetic, the music videos are still certainly a big part of the flashing lights, but i feel nothing for any of the characters onscreen except for contempt or mild disinterest.

It feels like a first draft put to animation. It's to the point where i believe season 1 should have closed without continuation and let You decide how the uncertainties pan out. (Have you ever seen Wicked? Do you know how everyone tells you that it completely falls apart in the second act so best pretend act1 is the whole thing?) The 'twists' it tries to pull aren't clever. If you're a game fan, you're left confused as to why some of this shit is included in this show and not some other region's show, if you know nothing of the game, you're going to be namedropped on lore buzzwords that get little explanation, give you no reason to care, but are placed as if they are a big deal anyway. Kind of feels like you're cheating both demographics. Parts of this season feel like backdoor pilots to greenlight a Noxus show -- the region who most thrives in the edgy aesthetics of cool awesomesauce grimdark fantasy imperialism -- and i just want all of these characters to die. But they end up getting all of the sob-story justification screentime while the poor people are either stupid kids or drug addicts. every single main undercity character is a drug addict of some kind, war-on-terror propaganda style, and the one who isn't has been surgically removed from the plot for majority of the runtime. I have to laugh.

The things some people were looking forward to - the gay romances, the gay divorces - will probably make more than a few fans go on to say threats of terrorism, but i still felt like i could see right through the script's flaccid bullshit. You're not getting a rise out of me like this. You barely fucking tried.

'Salvageable' is a dangerous word around me I'm notoriously obsessed with taking shit that sucks and recycling it to see if it can be improved like 'there is always hope' and all that gushy heart bullshit but like... that is between you and god. that is magic that happens inside your mind. it's work that you put into it, and that I predict people will be putting into it, out of their own volition. Or as a way to ignore what just happened.

[starlingbowels]

Kokichi likes to get closer to ppl who he thinks has the means to crack the game, like Rantaro and Shuichi, both smart and resourceful enough to scout out the mastermind and are unafraid of truth.

This is why i imagine he would have trouble dealing with Nagito. At first glance Nagito's blind trust in hope might piss him off, but Kokichi could probably tell that Nagito's hope isn't a response to the game, since Nagito could even nurture suspicion and turmoil (which Kokichi claims to like, but perhaps is really just coping with the horrors in this way) to confirm hope's superiority. Kokichi would have mixed feelings about this approach, but there's no doubt he'll try to thwart it, bc Nagito is forcing his classmates into a war no one asked for.

The death game meant nothing to Nagito if not another battlefield for hope vs. despair - and although sdr2 is set in a simulation within an already fictional world, Nagito's perspective on the game would make him closer to a viewer among the audience instead of a player or an NPC. Nagito uses the game's mechanisms to achieve his own ends, but he's never a desperate participant, since he is probably used to being under life-and-death circumstances and the game could really be just another typical day for him.

Nagito clings to the higher forces and, like an overly enthusiastic viewer who is sure that the show would have to amount to something, imagines himself as the protagonist.

Kokichi thought he was written to be the villain of the game - we might say he's an NPC in denial, and pronouncing himself a liar is his rejection, instead of accepting his role in the narrative as readily as Junko did.

His mindset is similar to that of Nagito's, but he's a lot more constrained within the frame of the game than Nagito is, because he wants to win the game on hard mode betting everything he had, while Nagito wants and knows there's going to be victory would in the end and he just wants to be the one who enabled that winning process.

Nagito doesn't need to crack the game. He would gladly play into its rules to get what he wants. Like the rest of his character's contradictions, he is both surbordinate to the killing game and rises above it (similar to how protagonists despite always being in the story have certain otherworldly buffs that feel like cheating i.e. the power of friendship; luck in Nagito's case).

Kokichi meanwhile is pushed into the corner, bc he may have sensed his role in this show and thought that since the game had decided to make him the antagonist, there's no going back, he isn't free to take a step back and think for himself now bc he's not meant to win the game in this position. He knows he wouldn't be the one to achieve the final victory so that's why he tries to stick with protagonists and survivors.

If Kokichi is in sdr2, he in a similar fashion would later approach Hajime and Chiaki (he would first get close to Kazuichi, and Akane/Nekumaru, for equipment and muscle). He's likely garnering resources at his side so he doesn't get killed before he could find a way to beat the game. Now we know that Hajime plays dual roles, as he's the one who piloted the story but also brought the final boss into the program. So Kokichi might have the sense he should team up with Chiaki; he would even probably have deduced that she's something of an observer figure early on.

Neither Hajime and Chiaki is looking for a way out of the game, tho. Kokichi, with a lack of survivors to tag along to, would probably be left with no other option but to tackle the wildcard that is Nagito, who's both thinking outside of the game and has enough brains to figure things out, always being one step ahead.

However, Nagito could possibly be a threat since there's absolutely nothing he wouldn't do for hope. Kokichi would have it way worse in sdr2 bc his main opponent wouldn't just be optimistic and overly trusting ppl like Kaede and Kaito, but the suspicious character of Nagito. At least they both enjoy the trials somewhat...but when time comes to choose, Kokichi would have to tread the line very carefully and tries to be on Nagito's good side. And Kokichi isn't good at being careful. His plans are executed with great unpredictablity; he's climbing the ladder of lies to get to the truth.

Jeez i really wonder how these two could co-exist in a game. What could possibly go down. The only thing i can be sure of is that it definitely wouldn't be boring, but to have them playing the same game is one variable too many.

[jedi-enthusiast]

@confusledqueer apologizes for not responding sooner, it’s been a busy couple days and—honestly—I forgot for a bit.

Moving on-

—————

Me equating some of the things that anti-Jedi people say to antisemitism and, sometimes, outright Nazi-esque rhetoric is not “wild” or “a stretch,” as you’re implying.

Justification of their genocide, denial that it actually was a genocide, a belief that the genocided party “caused” their own genocide, and a belief that they genocided party were wrong or “led astray” while one person was sent to make things right- (via either making them change their ways or outright destroying them/their culture) -are all things I’ve seen people say about the Jedi…

…but they’re also things that people have actually said about Jews.

Take the example I put in the post of someone denying that the Jedi Purge was actually a genocide, and how—by changing “Jedi” to “Judaism” and “Force-religions” to “Abrahamic Faiths”—it sounds verbatim to Holocaust denial.

Or, as another example, people claiming that the Jedi “kidnapped kids to brainwash them”…don’t you see how that sounds like Blood Libel?

So me pointing out that a lot of stuff anti-Jedi people say sounds like antisemitic rhetoric isn’t a stretch, not when a lot of it sounds verbatim to what people are saying with the rise of antisemitism and stuff they have said in the past.

—————

Now, I’m not Jewish, but it’s not just me, your neighborhood White Girl™️, who’s pointing this stuff out.

Actual Jewish people have pointed out the alarming similarities between anti-Jedi rhetoric and straight up antisemitism. So, if you wanna argue about- “you shouldn’t compare real world discrimination to fictional stuff” -then you should probably take that into account.

Go ahead and try telling Jewish Star Wars fans to stop calling out antisemitic rhetoric in the fandom, I’m sure that’ll go down real well.

I also find it hilarious that you’re telling me to be careful about the rhetoric I use in a thread about how I shouldn’t point out that some of the rhetoric other people spout is basically antisemitism rebranded.

And my point in that post wasn’t- “since this is based off of a real world culture/religion, you can’t criticize it.”

My point was- “since this is based off of a real world culture/religion then you need to be careful about how you criticize it, otherwise you might unconsciously be spouting bigoted beliefs and antisemitic rhetoric because you don’t recognize that that’s what it is because you’re saying it about a fictional culture.”

By all means, I get that some people just don’t like the Jedi, that’s their prerogative and we all have our own tastes.

Criticize them, if you feel like it, but don’t go around spouting rebranded antisemitism to do it. I’m sure you can come up with plenty of things to complain about them for without doing so.

—————

Now, I can understand why you might be worried about the slippery slope from this to shit like actual censorship—which, I think we can all agree, is a bad thing. Or how you might think criticizing this could lead to the whole “fandom purity” debate.

My thing is, it all comes down to does it actually harm people?

Perpetuating harmful stereotypes via saying stuff like the Jewish based characters “steal children,” or “lost their way,” or “they caused/deserved their genocide”—that does cause actual harm.

Think about why the “angry black man” stereotype or the “cheating bisexual” stereotype are bad and people- (rightly) -push back against them. It’s the same thing here.

Shipping a problematic ship, calling a fictional serial killer “babygirl,” writing about dark topics*, headcanoning characters as gay or trans…none of that is actively harming people.

(*obviously when writing about dark topics you should tag appropriately so people can avoid triggers, but that’s another topic for another day)

That’s the difference.

And, for the record, I think letting people spout bigotry just because they’re saying it about something fictional is the more dangerous mindset than calling it out.

[darkdevasofdestruction]

When the Wild Wind Blows ~ Negan Smith x Reader

Summary: A little after Lucille’s death, Negan finds a lone woman who asks to become his companion for the sake of survival the newly-arrived apocalypse. Together, they brave many challenges and their bond tightens, until a hoard separates them for an indefinite amount of time. With both thinking the other dead, they find new groups... Until they find each other once again, in the the midst of war.

They were supposed to go on for the rest of their lives. Isn’t that what they vowed to each other when they got married? That they will be forever together, until death do ‘em part? They should have changed that stupid vow. Something like - Even after death takes ‘em, or something. Anything! Anything that will ensure Lucille doesn’t leave him. He was so angry that she left him like that.

Negan sigh, stroking his bat as he looked into the small fire with dead eyes. He never imagined his life would end up like this. He never imagined his wife, his Lucille, the love of his life... Would die.

He was a prick. A shit head. He cheated on her multiple times, with her best friend no less. He deserved all the worst thing to happen to him - Divine punishment? By fire be purged... Was that how it went? Maybe. He deserved all that. 

But Lucille didn’t deserve all the pain she went through.

She didn’t deserve all the agony HE put her through... The supposed loyal, loving husband... Who was nothing more than an irresponsible piece of shit deadbeat husband who wasted his life away cheating and playing video games. He was the biggest failure in this world, and yet, despite everything, Lucille still stuck by his side, as if he was the one hurt, not her.

He didn’t deserve an angel like her, and he’ll never meet anyone like her ever again.

The news of her terminal diagnostic killed him much before this walker Apocalypse even started... But if these dead fuckers would have just stayed in their graves, his Lucille would have had a chance of survival. Go do her chemo and radiotherapy at the hospital, maybe do the surgery... Everything that needed to be done. And he would be there with her through it all. He knew the nasty side effects of the therapy - He wasn’t going to abandon her again. He mistreated her once - Greatest mistake of his life - But being met with the fatality of the situation, he couldn’t imagine his life going on without her. 

There was no life without Lucille.

‘Please don’t leave me like this  ♡‘ she wrote multiple times on the walls, before killing herself in bed, not before forgetting to keep herself bound and head covered, so she wouldn’t end up hurting him.

‘Please don’t leave me like this  ♡‘ she wanted him to destroy her dead body, to make sure she doesn’t end up as some disfigured dead shell of her former self, going around and killing people who have every chance of living.

‘Please don’t leave me like this  ♡‘ even in death, she wanted him to live... Even without her... Live for her as well.

‘Please don’t leave me like this  ♡‘ even watching him from Heaven, Lucille was cursing him to a life without her body in his arms, without her sweet voice calling out his name, and her hands roaming through his hair... Her honey laugh whenever he’d crack some of his stupid jokes...

‘Please don’t leave me like this  ♡‘ ... I would never leave you... But Lucille... What about me...? Now it is me, who is all alone, in this vast world... What reason is there to live anymore? There is no life without you... Lucille... Come back to me, please... I miss you so much... I love you so much...

Lucille...

Please don’t leave me like this.

It was always the Sun setting, and the Moon rising up on the sky and the Stars twinkling brightly that it reminded him of all the woes that his shattered heart was feeling. He was so absorbed in his own wallowing and sorrows... It was already a whole month passing, yet the pain didn’t diminish in the slightest. He was so preoccupied with his self-pitying, that he didn’t hear the soft rustle of the bushes, nor the light steps made onto the small twigs and the dead, crunching leaves.

It took a few approaching noises to make him finally snap his lethargic gaze up from the crackling of the burning wood, only to hear the faintest gasp. The was a figure there, hiding behind a tree - How silly. Negan narrowed his eyes to get a better look at the silhouette failing to pathetically to hide behind a tree far slimmer than her own body... But by the way the woman was peeking like a child, and the way her very long hair was swaying with the breeze out of the hiding spot... She must have been very aware of her position.

“Come out. I can see you.” he called out to her, but she merely leaned more to the side. “I know.” her voice sounded timid, yet somehow, it held some kind of... What was it... Defiance? No - He was a teacher, he knew what defiance meant when kids got bratty. It was a sort of confidence that she held, despite her fear of approaching him, almost like a wild animal, starving and seeing food for the first time. “If you know, why are you still hiding?” he asked, propping his bat to the ground and leaning his jaw on the handle. “I’m watching you.” she explained, not budging. “Watching me?” Negan asked, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise. “What for? Are you some Myers-level stalker? I’m no babysitter, I assure you... But I did teach kids before. Does that count?” he barked a laugh. “I don’t have a knife. Or a mask. Sorry to ruin your fantasy.” she huffed. “I’m trying to assess whether or not I should approach you.” “And what has your... Assessing concluded?” the corner of his mouth twitched upwards - For once, his mind was being distracted with something other than despair and misery. “... Inconclusive.” she muttered. “I could be dangerous, y’know? I have a bat - And it has barbed wire wrapped around it. One single hit, and you’d be dead. Care to re-assess?” he chuckled, almost villainously. “You have a weapon to defend yourself against walkers and other human enemies alike. Others have machetes. Some have guns... Machine guns... Rifles. Everyone has a weapon. You’re not special.” though her words sounded snarky and insulting, her tone was calm and sincere - She was just awfully blunt, despite how much she looked like a scared little baby fawn. Hilarious. “Do you?” the man was met with silence. “I guess not.” “Whether I tell you or not, I’d still be putting myself to a disadvantage by confirming information about myself. I don’t want to compromise my position.” she explained strategically. “You’re already at a disadvantage. I could both outrun and overpower you. There’s little a weapon would do to aid you.” the girl remained quiet a bit more. “Why did you approach me?” “I...” there goes that previously shy demeanour. “I want to join your group.” “There’s no group to join, darling, sorry to disappoint. Just lil’ ol’ me.” she still nodded. “That’s fine too. Anything is better than being alone.” her declaration stung Negan’s heart bitterly.  “Ain’t wrong with that one.” he muttered, more to himself than to her. “Aren’t you afraid I’d kill you?” she hung her head. “Come closer, let me have a better look at you.” it only made her hide back behind the tree completely. “Sorry, sorry, didn’t mean to scare you away like that.” she still didn’t budge. “I won’t hurt you.” “Will you let me join you?” she asked again, still not unveiling herself properly. “Fine, yeah, sure. Like you said - Ain’t so great being alone. Trust me, I’d know.” “Promise.” she sounded demanding, almost harsh even. “Promise? Ha! How childish of you!” he laughed once again, but he noticed the girl didn’t move at all. “What, you really want me to promise? That’s silly. I could easily break the promise anyway, nothing is keeping me from doing that.” still no move. “Why do you want me to promise so badly anyway?” “Because if you promise, then I have a reason to trust you - Then, if you betray me, it means that you broke your promise - Thus, it isn’t my fault that I trusted you, but your fault for being a jerk and breaking your promise to me.” Negan remained quiet for a few seconds, even unable to blink. Though he found some reason behind her words, they sounded like something the little girls he used to teach would say. It seemed to Negan that, with no means of defending herself, and finding him somewhat reasonable, this was her only means of surviving. How adorable. “You’re not really all that smart, are you?” he found himself asking, though without much thinking. “No - In fact, I am smart. I used to be a doctor, I worked hard, studied a lot. I was actually pretty good. Graduated among the top 50 or something. From an academic point of view, I am smart, and I know that. From a wisdom side, I, also, consider myself pretty smart, based on how everyone would come to me for advice.” Negan never expected such a calculated refuting. “But this isn’t the world we were brought up in. No amount of strategy games, apocalypse movies or rational, logical ideas can really guarantee you 100% survival chances.” she voice lowered. “I’m a frail, lone woman, also weaponless and with awful orientation skills. What chances do you think I have to live, even if I make all the stereotypically smart choices? There’s only so much I can run, hide, and live on air alone. The only smart choice I have left is to find someone who still has his humanity intact, at least to some degree, and find a way to stick by their side.” Negan sighed and nodded his head before he waved his hand at her to come over. “Fine, I promise I won’t hurt you. You can join me, do what you want.” how could he doom a young woman to her death by doing something as cruel as rejecting to protect her? He already let the most important person in his life down... Was this his chance to redemption? Was this a sign from Lucille, to keep on going?

Slowly, the young woman snapped her head left and right cautiously, before carefully stepping towards the man - Still weary at first, but she ended up towering over the fire awkwardly. Did she... Did she need some kind of invitation to sit down?  No, wait - From the way her eyes were flickering on high alert to each and every inch of his little camp, she was scanning every little thing - That, and she genuinely seemed socially awkward.

“Thanks.” she muttered. Quickly, Negan extended his hand, showing a seat for her to take, on the stump opposite of his log. She sat down, huddling by the fire. Now, Negan could get a better look at her. Her beautiful, long hair was a mess, but somehow, it worked, giving her a wild beauty look. She had no make up, save for the dirt and sweat caked on her skin and clothes for being away from home for so long. Her clothes were comfortable, but somewhat chic - A pair of jeans, nice on the leg, but not skinny - And she had some kind of charm, hanging from the loops on the waist. She had a simple black shirt and a cardigan over it - It was pretty long, and she used the sleeves to cover her hands entirely. But despite the casual yet still pretty elegant outfit, Negan spotted golden jewellery gracing her neck, fingers and wrists. Golden, with black gems. Did she use to be rich? Or did she just like dolling herself up? Was she on a date when all hell broke loose? 

There was a long silence, with Negan staring uncomfortably long at the girl, and her staring back, a sour look on her face. “I don’t appreciate being stared at. Please stop.” Negan smirked at her. “Can’t blame a man for looking at a pretty woman, can you?” “Yes, I can, and I will. You’re being creepy.” she deadpanned, making the man laugh more. “You’re a real piece of work, aren’t you, doll?” he found himself leaning forward, towards the fire. “Y/N.” she said. “My name is Y/N. Call me that.” though she wasn’t using a demanding, ordering tone, he still felt somehow inclined to do as she said. “Y/N. What a pretty name for a pretty girl.” Negan watched with amusement as she sighed in exasperation. “I haven’t taken a bath in over a month. I’m filthy, and I’m pretty sure that, if walkers could smell, they would all hoard over to tear me apart. No need to continue this whole gimmick of yours, it’s ridiculous and you’re making me uncomfortable.” she ran a hand through her hair, cringing a bit through the tangles. “Have you always been such a joyful presence in your group of friends?” he snarked her, though light hearted. Y/N looked down at the fire, silent. She attempted to open her mouth to speak a few times, before stopping herself. “You never told me your name.” she evaded that question - Did she feel attacked? Or did he hit a sensitive note with that question? “Negan. Name’s Negan.” she nodded at him. He realised that she would often take a few seconds to come up with her answers. Was she always so deeply calculated and serious? She needed to lighten up a bit.

Or maybe this strictly rational and straight woman got send by Lucille, to combat his overly leisure self? Was this a lesson that he had to learn from? “I wasn’t a party person. I’m not the kind to let loose and act like a fool. I know how to have fun - My kind of fun - But I know my limits and where I draw the line.” she shrugged simply. “I get it. I get it, don’t worry. I won’t do that, so you can... Take a step back and chill out a bit. I’ve got this beautiful babe here with me - As dangerous as she’s beautiful, ain’t she? - And she’s gonna keep us both safe. Don’t worry about a thing~!” he raised his bat and patted it on his palm - For a split second, he could see her body tense as she gulped, straightening her back, trying to mask her fear. “That’s... Good. But we’ll need to find some more weapons pretty soon. And other supplies.” as if on cue, her stomach rumbled. Y/N’s eyes widened, before hugging herself and hanging her head down, no doubt blushing in embarrassment. For such a strict and unbending woman, she was easy to embarrass. How cute. Negan grinned at her, before taking some food and throwing it at her. “Must’ve been a while since you last ate, huh?” her hands were trembling softly, holding the food. “Go ahead. I’m giving it to you. Eat. You need to help me scavenge for supplies tomorrow, right?” “Th-Thanks...” she muttered. “Three days.” she said, slowly digging into the food - Small bites, to trick her brain into thinking her stomach is full. “It’s not that long... Sorry for that.” “Don’t apologise, chill a bit.” her hair was getting in the way, and no matter what she did, it would keep draping over her hair like a curtain. It was hilarious, but it was clearly uncomfortable. Negan wanted to laugh at her misfortune - But then, he remembered the little thing that he still had in his pocket. Long before Lucille found out about her cancer, she had the most beautiful, long, blonde hair, and whenever she’d be at home, she’d tie it up. Negan reached into his pants’ pocket and retrieved a black hair tie. It was really, the only thing he had left from Lucille. 

‘Please don’t leave me like this  ♡‘ don’t worry Lucille. Even if your body isn’t here anymore, you’re still the same kind, helpful soul that you’ve always been. “Here.” stealing a kiss to the hair tie as soon as the woman before him wasn’t looking, he handed the tie for her to take. She looked in awe at him and his kindness, no doubt. “Can’t be fun, eating more dirty hair than food. You’ll end up spitting fur balls like a cat.” “...Thanks...” she muttered, bashfully taking the tie and tying back her hair, revealing her beautiful, yet incredibly exhausted looking visage. She must be dying for a good sleep. What has she gone through, he wondered. “You really don’t need to do me so much good. I have nothing to give you back.” “I’m not asking for anything in return.” he reassured her in a calmer voice. “You must be tired. Go sleep. I’ll keep watch.” Y/N looked at him with a skeptical look. “What, you think I’m going to bash your skull in while you’re sleeping? At least it won’t hurt. Quick death. Better me than those fucks, right?” “No... It’s not that. It’s just... You’ve already been kind enough to me. I should stay watch.” Negan looked her in the eyes for a brief moment - Despite how exhausted she looked and how dirty her face was, her eyes still had a spark of life, and a very beautiful shade.  “Don’t fret so much.” he muttered under his breath.

Y/N looked down and gulped the bit of bread and returned the remaining food to its rightful owner. She looked so awkward, Negan almost felt compelled to laugh at her, but he restrained himself. Instead, he patted her shoulder, urging her to come over and sit on the log, rest her head on his arm and sleep.

It felt uncomfortable for her, truly, but it was far better than laying on the dirty, cold, hard ground to sleep, or tying herself up on a branch and hoping she won’t fall off and end up walker food... Or a pinata. Albeit with a lethargic pace, Y/N ended up complying without another word, and unsurprisingly, as soon as she placed her head on his shoulder, Y/N fell asleep. Poor girl, Negan thought, watching her reach out her hands and gripping his arm, almost as if afraid he’d run away and abandon her, break his promise to her. She looked so vulnerable and afraid, now more than when she was awake. Judging from the way her chest was heaving up and down with ample, rapid motions, and how her fingers and arm joints would occasionally twitch, it was evident she was still very much alert.

Don’t worry, Y/N. I already abandoned someone like you before. I won’t do that again.

Without realising, Negan’s hand found itself caressing her hair slowly, but in a way, he almost felt as though he was trying to calm and sooth himelf, not her. He missed the feeling of touching Lucille’s hair, whenever she’d want to indulge herself, and she nuzzled herself to his side, expecting some pampering. If only things didn’t go to shit so quickly...

Lost in thoughts, the man didn’t hear the sound of twigs breaking - It was a mistake that he had already done once, and though it ended with an inoffensive party member, this time, he will learn that the biggest monsters aren’t the walkers, but the humans themselves.

Y/N jolted up as if electrocuted, and shuffled her feet away from Negan, looking around with wide, alert eyes, to spot the danger incoming. When he tried to speak, she immediately shushed him down. That’s when she saw a woman, afraid, running from the thicket, towards them. She was screaming for help, saying that there were two men trying to assault her or something. Negan was going to tell her to come over, to be protected - Surely, with Lucille in his hands, he could take down two stupid punks, right? Oh, how he hated stupid fuckers like those guys, thinking they could do whatever they want, especially now, in a lawless world.

To his surprise, however, Y/N, who was in a similar situation not long before, stopped the woman from approaching, and even threatened her. Her voice was harsh and awful, it shocked Negan. He was sure she would want to protect someone vulnerable and innocent, just like her.

From the deeper forest, two men, one with a knife, the other, a machete, came down like the huns, ready to chop them down into pieces and eat them for lunch. With great fear on her face, the victim ran towards them - But Y/N immediately threw a well-aimed jab at her face, making her fall down to the ground. “Y/N, what are you doing, she’s the victim!” he asked, looking with concern at her. “She’s as much of a fairy as those guys are. Get your weapon ready, they’re coming.” Y/N warned him - But he was stunned. How could a woman running away from those brutes be evil? The guy with the machete ran towards Y/N. “Well, well, lookie here~ Not only one, but TWO pretty girls to claim tonight~! What a great bounty, ‘aight, bro?” the two had ugly, crude laughs. With no warning, Negan watched in awe as Y/N chopped at his arm with her palm, before she threw a straight uppercut at his jaw, making him stumble backwards. Giving him no time to waste, she ducked down under his weapon arm and clung onto it, breaking the joint and stealing the weapon before decapitating the man. “WHAT THE FUCK?! J-JOHNNY?! Y-YOU FUCKING WHORE, YOU KILLED HIM! I’LL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THIS!” like a blind bull, the other offender rushed towards Y/N, and as he tried to slice at her face, she threw herself to the ground, rolling to his feet to trip him - As he stumbled on his feet, and Y/N made him fall on his stomach - She threw herself down on his back and broke his neck, making him fall limp. “I’ll be damned.” Negan grumbled to himself, completely mesmerised by the way a small, frail woman such as Y/N could pull off such neat and accurate combat moves. But unfortunately for him, that was his downfall - Not even once did he expect the victim to actually be one of the culprits, as Y/N so rightfully deduced, and before he knew it, the blonde woman dared touch HIS Lucille, and hold her with shaky hands and threaten him. “DON’T COME ANY CLOSER! Y-YOU! YOU MONSTER! YOU KILLED THEM! YOU KILLED THEM BOTH - MY BROTHERS! YOU KILLED THEM!” her voice now sounded so revenge-driven and awful, only to shake like a leaf as soon as she noticed Y/N raise to her feet, covered in the blood of her victims, a knife in one hand, and a machete in the other. “You think someone like you can take that guy down? You can’t even hold the bat. You’re useless - Not only that, you’re useless AND evil. Playing the victim just to bait us... It’s been two months since the Apocalypse started. I’ve seen them all. You’re just a pathetic little girl, that’s what you are. You have made the wrong move. You’re going to die now.” Y/N approached the two with a menacingly slow pace. “Don’t worry, Negan. I’ll protect you.” “STAY BACK! I-I’LL KILL HIM! I SWEAR I WILL!” the blonde shrieked her lungs out, her grip on the bat tightening to the point her skin looked bleach white. “Nah, girl, I don’t think you will.” at once, the man got ahold of his darling weapon and easily wrestled it out of her grip. “You know what they say - Goodnight America.” with one swift move, Negan bashed her skull in, her brains and blood spraying all over the camp. Negan grinned victoriously, as Y/N only scoffed, letting the weapons fall to the ground, her body following soon after. “That was a fiiiine fight you had, doll.” Negan chuckled, kicking the dead woman’s body away. “Didn’t think you had it in ya.” “I... I learnt some MMA. Before all this happened. I, uh... I had to.” she said, trying to even out her breathing. “Had to? What in the world would prompt you to learn MMA, of all things?” he barked in shock and amusement. “...A situation quite like this.” his smile fell immediately. “I know more theory than actual techniques, really. But I practiced Aikido, Silat and Systema. Well... You can make the argument that Aikido and Systema are mostly the same, just that one is Japanese and the other is Russian. But they’re pretty good for my frame. I can at least defend myself, even against jerks with weapons.” though her legs were shaking like two flowers in the spring breeze, she managed to get up and make her way to the fire. “I guess... Even bad things can lead to good ones... If you can even call it that.” “Don’t worry, doll, I won’t make that mistake again.” Negan reassured her, reaching out his hand to wipe away the blood from her face. “How’d you know she was in on it?” “... I didn’t. I just don’t trust anyone.” she mumbled.  “You trust me.” Negan refuted. “You promised.” she said solemnly. “Promises meant nothing before, and they mean even less now.” he argued, but she simply shrugged her shoulders. “Why do you trust me?” “Because you said so.” she said simply.  “That’s not a reason.” Negan gave her a half-smile. “...I told you, didn’t I? I can’t be alone. I’ll die. You’re the only one I have left. Whether you kill me or not, it doesn’t matter. I just don’t want to be alone anymore.” she explained, albeit reticent. “So... It’s not survival you care about, but not being lonely, huh?” she nodded. “Ha. Silly girl.” he snorted, only to see the dead face she had on her face. She almost seemed about to cry. She was too close to her breaking point, he realised. “...You’re not alone anymore.”

With a sigh, Negan felt Lucille slip from his grasp, as his arms wrapped around her body, pulling her into a tight embrace. He could feel he trembling, and her breathing had gotten ragged and uneven. “Go ahead and cry. You must’ve been through a lot. Cry all you want - Get it out of your system. It’ll help you sleep tonight. And in the morning, we can go get supplies and what not.” he reassured her, and at once, she heard the faintest, broken sob, as she buried her head in his chest. Negan guided her back to the log so her weakened legs wouldn’t give out, and he patted her hair, his chin resting on top of her head. He looked down at Lucille - Was this the right thing to do? He wasn’t moving on from her... He still loved Lucille so much... So, so much... He didn’t want to make her jealous anymore... But he was just reassuring a scared, lonely woman, right? Nothing wrong in doing that, considering the terrifying situation they’re in. “I promise I won’t leave you alone, Y/N.” 

Lucille... You will have to forgive me. I’m so lonely... I can’t function properly without you... But I’m so, so lonely without you...  Did you send Y/N to keep me company? To right the wrongs I’ve done to you? Is this my redemption? 

“You act all tough and strong, but you’re really just a little crybaby, Y/N.” Negan muttered in her hair. “But that’s fine. You’re a woman. It’s the man’s job to protect you against monsters of all kind.” what she was feeling, he couldn’t know, and probably never will. But it was fine. He failed his wife once, disregarding her feelings. He won’t make the same mistake again. He let a woman sully her hands, her soul, all to protect him. No more. He was going to be the deadbeat failure of a husband no more. 

Negan is here.

As promised, he allowed her to sleep for as long as she needed, up to the point that she woke up naturally, and felt refreshed. Maybe, at least a little bit. He remembers those studies that claimed a lost night of sleep can be solved with a week of proper amount of sleep - But they couldn’t afford such luxury anymore. Together, they travelled aimlessly through the abandoned city, wondering at how quickly a place can turn so... Dilapidated, as if it hasn’t been inhabited in centuries.

Too many close calls, too many walkers, and far too many dangers. It was dangerous being just two people, but it would have been just as dangerous in a bigger group also. But it was fine - They could live on and thrive together pretty well. They were even able to eat once every two days, and drink good water. 

Weeks passed by weirdly fast - Or at least, they thought those were weeks, not months, based on the amount of times they fell asleep, and remembered to count. Surely, they must have missed a few times, there was only so much they could do, and even the daily routine they tried so hard to cling onto, the last string of hope that kept them associated to humanity, to their old life - Even that was close to breaking.

But the more nights passed, the more conversations at the roasting fire they had. It was the time Negan loved the most, and really, just about the only thing that gave him any joy whatsoever anymore. Even the pain of being torn apart from the love of his life so violently seemed to ameliorate bit by bit, all thanks to the conversations he had with this woman. Somehow, he kept him grounded to real life, and had him going on without any thought of giving up.

Here and there, they talked about their lives before this all happened. Negan felt absolutely humiliated. Not only was he the biggest dead beat in the world, but hearing the woman speak of her hard work and all the sacrifices she’s made to get to the top and achieve the career of her dreams, it felt motivational, but also fatalistic and depressing. All her life, she’s done nothing but study and work, for that one day, when she finds a partner, they can travel the world together and live a beautiful, happy life.

It reminded him of himself with Lucille in a way. He should have worked hard and provided for her too. He should have made her life a beautiful dream, not a nightmare. Should have spoiled her with all the most luxurious gifts, and brought her to all the lush, exotic vacation trips. Alas... All he did was play video games all day. What a pitiful, useless excuse for a man he is.

No, he has to do better. Be better.

Still, no matter how much they talked about their lives, neither of them dared touch the topic of their private life. Family, partner... Nothing. It’s as if they both knew it was such a sensitive topic that they were afraid to touch upon it.

“Hey, Negan, come over. Let’s check this one out.” Y/N motioned for the man to come over as soon as she was able to find a way inside the abandoned house. It still looked decent and fairly well kept, even from the outside. 

The two slowly crept inside - It was rather clean, save for some accumulated dust, and with a single walker inhabiting the home, they decided to make it their temporary residence, for as long as they could, at least. The small house even had running water - Was this a miracle?

Stashed away in the basement, they found a ton of canned food rations, and even water and alcohol of all kinds. They hit the jackpot. After eating some, Y/N went first to take a long and very welcomed bath while Negan stood watch, then they reversed the roles. Thankfully, they even had some nice clothes left behind by the old owners of the house. Fresh as a daisy.

After securing the perimeter, the two sat down in the living room, as per the ritual of having conversations by the fire, yet now, they chatted over a glass of wine and whiskey specifically. The quiet didn’t last long between the two, as Negan, as always, was the one to speak up first. “So, you’re not looking for anyone? No family, no friends - Nothing?” Y/N shook her head. “Come on, really? I don’t believe you.” “Believe what you want.” she shrugged. “I never really had friends. I mean... One of them was an online friend, across the ocean. We’ve never met. The other, well... She was too busy with her own family. We kinda lost touch after a while. It was all me.” he didn’t miss the bitter tone that rolled off her tongue. “Okay, fine, I get that. I didn’t have either. But what about your boyfriend?” she shook her head. “What, didn’t make it?” she shook her head.  “I didn’t have any.” Negan was speechless. “I didn’t want to waste my time on good for nothing men.” that sentence alone seemed to shoot a poisoned arrow through his heart. “In the end... I was wrong in wanting someone good for myself. It’s pitiful.” she scoffed. “What’s the point in working so hard, if you end up miserable anyway?” was this how Lucille felt, having him as her husband? A good for nothing, worthless excuse of a man? She deserved better than this. “N’aww, don’t say that, doll. You’re a fine lady. Beautiful, smart, diligent. Incredibly bad at social interacting.” Y/N let out an amused scoff.  “And what has that helped me with?” Negan remained quiet. “It was just me and my parents, and my dog... But thankfully, my dog died last year. Didn’t have to put the poor old lady through this mess. Mum died of cancer, dad followed soon after, from a broken heart. Left me all alone.” Y/N sighed. “It sucks, you know. You see how much your mum and dad loved each other, but you can’t find someone like that. It’s stupid.” she gulped down the whole wine glass in one go. Negan had his head down - This whole talk turned far more somber than expected. She’s lost as much as he did, and more.  “Lucille was my wife.” he admitted. “She was... The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Smart, charming, charismatic, funny, kind, understanding. Everything anyone could ask for.” he stroked the bat lovingly, flashes of his wife’s smile flashing before his eyes. “She... Was diagnosed with cancer too, a little before the world went to shit. Used to go bring her chemo bags, and wigs in bright colours of all kinds. She was always so cheerful.” after a few seconds of silence, Negan gulped. “On the last run, I found her dead in her bed. She had killed herself. Didn’t want to be a liability to me, as she put it. Silly woman. She was too good for me. She deserved better.” “She loved you, Negan. It doesn’t matter whether she deserved better or not. If you felt she deserved better, you should have done better. But she stayed by your side. She loved you for who you are. You two were happy together. And it’s evident, how much you still love her, even now.” Negan couldn’t help but let out an amused breath - He didn’t have the heart to point out that he cheated on the love of his life and caused her immense misery, when she needed him the most. He couldn’t shatter her dreams of a love written in the stars... Nor did he want to be reminded of the shit mistakes he did. “Well, aren’t you the romantic one.” he tried to divert the conversation to her, rather than himself. “Whatever men you dated in the past, must have been really happy. Poor bastards, didn’t live up to the expectations. Pathetic.” “...I’d... Rather not... Talk about that.” the way her fingers clutched tightly the wine glass, and the grimace on her face, made Negan thing that she didn’t have pink experiences. Life ain’t always sunshine and daisies, even for the nicest of people. “I... Need another drink. Do you want some more whiskey too?” Y/N got up, picking the two glasses after his approval nod, and waltzed into the kitchen. 

From back at the living room, the loud noise of glass breaking echoed. “Negan? You okay?” Y/N called out, pouring the booze and walking back towards the cozy room. There, instead of finding her companion sprawled over the couch, she instead found him kneeling on the ground, blood leaking down his forehead, and a man was holding a gun to his head. “...Oh.” Negan could see the terrified look in her eyes. She really was afraid of men, wasn’t she? Rightfully so. Men are monsters - He knew that best, after all. “Behind you!” he called out - but it was too late. The other culprit had been waiting just around the corner, and his arms wrapped tightly around her body, immobilizing her. The two glasses shattered to the ground as she struggled and clawed her way out, but it was to no avail. No amount of combat techniques could prepare her for getting clinched like that.  “Hahaha, look what fine bounty! Who’d have thought!” the one holding her said, knife to her throat, so deep into her skin that droplets of red inked her down to her shirt, staining everything in its path. “Kill that fucker, and when you’re done, come join the fun.” “NO!” Y/N shouted desperately. “Don’t kill him! P-Please, don’t kill him!” she heaved, careful not to get her neck sliced even more. “I-I’ll do whatever you want! I’ll even show you all our ration, a-and tell you supply centers around the place that haven’t been raided! Just please, don’t kill him!” Both men laughed, ugly, nasty grins on their faces. “Aww, how cute! Lil’ bitch thinks she can order us around~! Ain’t that adorable?” one of them said. “He yo’ husband or what?” neither of the victims said anything. “Haaa, he sure is her lil’ fucktoy! Well! If you love him so much... Might as well give him a little present. We give you a lil’ bastard child, and he gets to hear your sweet little cries. Oh, he’s gonna LOVE it!”  “You speak too much, man. I’ll keep watch. Just go get it over with. Send the bitch over when you’re done. I want her little lover boy to watch as I fuck his pretty, little girl, over and over again.” that one continued with the nasty speech for so long that Negan was sure he could see Y/N fainting, just a little.

Y/N’s struggling came to an end, after the one holding her punched her face hard enough to tame her down, and with one hand buried deep in her hair, he threw her out of the room, and onto the ground, then straddled her waist, bringing her wrists together and binding them with a burning rope, in front of her body. With his knife, he split her shirt in two, followed by the last piece of fabric covering her chest. “I always had a thing for blood, y’know. Red suits you well, pretty bird. Now sing for me a sweet thrill, loud enough for that guy to hear you.”

In his attempt to remove her pants, clumsy as he was, he had to put down the knife and use both hands - It was the perfect opportunity for her to throw her arms around his neck, and using the legs around his waist to shift positions, enough to use the rope and hands to strangle him to death. As he was struggling to breath, Y/N started screaming and pretending to sob - It was the perfect cover, as her breathing was heavy, and her voice broken anyway. When finally, the assailant was unconscious, Y/N quickly took the knife and shoved it in his skull. She then looked down at herself, and though embarrassment was too light a word for the way she was presenting herself, she took off her jeans and hid the knife in the sleeve of her long cardigan, keeping her hands tied.

Meekly, she tripped over her feet, stumbling pitifully, painfully, all an act. Tears were running continuously down her face, and her expression was outright horrified and hopeless. “Awww, look at you! This look suits you better, y’know. C’mon now, get on your knees. Show me what you do to this man to keep him staying with you.” the nasty words the fucker was saying almost went unheard by Negan - All he could focus on was the broken state of the woman he swore to protect, yet failed once again. Once again, he lets down the only person that matters in his life anymore. Lucille was gone... And now... Y/N... He thought they would be safe here, in this house. He let his guard down. He was caught off guard. He couldn’t win with his bat against a gun. 

There was nothing that Negan hated more than men taking advantage of women - He wanted to strangle the life out of this fucker. No, even better. Beat him to death. Bash his skull in. Make him suffer. Rip his dick off and shove his balls down his throat. Anything, for revenge. Anything, to save Y/N from this suffering.

He watched her slowly approaching, her head lowering before the man holding him hostage. Her whole body was trembling violently, but she didn’t go down. She just stood there, so very close to him. “Come on, bitch, get down.” the fucker quickly undid the button of his jeans and zipped them down, then put his hand on her head, gripping a tight fistful of her messy hair, no doubt trying to push her down - But she lunged forward. With a hidden weapon, she stabbed her assailant in the stomach, wide enough to spill his guts out, as if it was a dishonored samurai committing seppuku, only to have his head stabbed also.

“They’re... Really... Not that smart...” Y/N scoffed, stumbling backward and awkwardly cutting the rope holding her wrists together. “Damn, it left burns.” she muttered, staring down at her red, pained skin. As if remembering about his existence, Y/N shifted her gleaming eyes at Negan. “Are you hurt?” she asked, noticing the bound hands, and crouching to liberate him also. “Sorry it took so long. That guy took longer to suffocate than I imagined.” she muttered, turning around, knife slipping from her grasp. “Don’t ask ME if I’m hurt -- Y/N, what the hell, I --” Negan got up to his feet, and looked down at the broken woman standing in front of him. “I’m fine.” she cut him off. “It’s... Not the first time... I’ve dealt with this.” she shrugged, though she tried to appear unbothered, it didn’t work much. “Only this time, I was able to retaliate before anything could happen.” the implication made his head swim, but he had to keep himself grounded and act accordingly. It wasn’t he who needed comfort and help, but her. Though he protected her against hoards of walkers on end... It was still the humans that he couldn’t get a handle on.

Things really had to change, and fast, before another incident such as this happens again. “Come ‘ere, doll. Ain’t no way I’m letting a pretty princess like yourself walk around this dirty house like that.” Negan spoke light-hearted, as he picked her up bridal style... Just like he did to Lucille when he carried her home after their wedding... And he brought her to her room, carefully placing her on the bed. He couldn’t help but steal a glance at her eyes - Wide, surprised, and wet from the tears she spilled. If only he could make any reason that could make her cry disappear. He hated seeing her upset. He wanted to see her smile only. She had a beautiful smile.

Negan opened the wardrobe wide and threw some clothes at her, before going to the bathroom to take the medical kit and wet some towels to take care of her wounds. “It’s... Not that big of a deal, really. You... You don’t... Need to.” she bashfully looked away - She looked so adorable, with those large clothes swallowing her whole. “Stop worrying so much over silly things, doll.” he flashed her one of those charming, dazzling smiles of his. “It’s the least I can do after you’ve saved me. Again.” he said. “I’m pretty shit at keeping you safe, huh. You’d do much better without me.” “Shut up.” she gritted her teeth. “Don’t say that.” she warned. “I don’t...” she hesitated for a little. “I don’t want to go out there, alone. Not again.” “Oh, I’m not complaining about that, doll. In fact, it works well for me, I’d say. Great company is always welcomed.” he didn’t dare try to joke about how pretty she was anymore - Not after the course of filth those two spewed her way. She must have cringed into eternity. Even now, it was obvious how uncomfortable his touch felt. She was going to awkward-herself into an early grave. Still, he couldn’t quite understand why she wouldn’t loosen up around him. Maybe that’s just how she was. Always stern and strict, always cold and guarded, and bound by some impossibly strict personal rules. But it was fine. He liked her just the way she was.  “Uh... Thanks.” she nodded. “I... Also... Like your companionship.” Negan couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re really shit at chatting, y’know that, right?” Y/N nodded pitifully. “But that’s fine. Nothing wrong with that. I’m sociable enough for the both of us. Keep being yourself, and I’ll deal with everything else around, a’ight?” Y/N gave him a small smile, cringing a bit at the stinging sensation of the antiseptic touching her neck wound. “Alright, Negan. I trust your word.” she spoke in a whispery tone. “...Hey, Negan?” she timidly called out his name, as he watched him put the med kit away.  “Yeah, doll?” “Uhm... D-Do you, uhm...” Y/N gulped, her gaze down on the ground. “Do you think that I could... That I could... W-Well...” “Don’t be so afraid of asking me for something, Y/N. I’m not the big bad wolf. I won’t bite you.” he urged her to speak. “Can I sleep with you tonight?” she finally blurted out, surprising the man with her uncharacteristic request. “I... I can’t sleep at night. At all. I keep waking up as soon as I’ve fallen asleep. I have nightmares and panic attacks and... I just... I’m afraid to stay by myself.” so honest, Negan was speechless. The lack of response made Y/N clear her throat. “Sorry, forget I asked, that was childish. You can go sleep now. Goodnight, Negan.” Y/N wanted to claw her face from embarrassment, but finally the man saved her from doing just that. “No, no - Doll, it’s not childish. We’re in hell. Everyone is afraid. I get ya. I’m afraid too, you know? But it’s fine. We’ve got each other, right?” he extended his hand for her to take. With great reticence, Y/N gingerly placed her hand over his, and was guided to his room. After the proper invitation, Y/N went to settle on the large bed, glued to the corner of the room, and huddled against the wall. “Most people fight over the edge-half of the bed.” “I never liked that half. I never felt safe. I could never sleep properly.” she admitted. “Took a while to get used to a bed in the middle of the room, with no protective wall next to it. It was awful.” “So this is a thing from before Hell, huh?” Y/N nodded in shame. “S’okay, don’t be so ashamed of that. Nobody likes being alone, after all. Besides, there’s many fears that lone women have to live with. Can’t blame ya, especially after what just happened.” Negan discarded his jacket on the chair and sat on the edge of the bed. “But you don’t have to fear anymore. For better or for worse, Negan’s here, and I won’t let anyone hurt you again, okay, Y/N?” “...Yeah. That’s right.” she smiled gratefully at him, watching him lay down in bed, before extending his arm towards her, and he looked at her somewhat expectingly, but she had no idea why.  “Come over. I’ll play with your hair. I know you like it.” he urged her. “I’ll even throw a lil’ song for you. Or a story. How’s that sound?” “Skip the story, it will keep me awake. But remember it tomorrow, for coffee.” she dragged herself over, trying not to let her tachycardia known. “Wouldn’t mind the song though.” she said, already feeling her lashes fall onto each other from drowsiness, as his hand worked magic caressing her hair. “Now that’s more like it.” his low chuckle vibrating in his chest sent rumbles to her senses. It was such a soothing resonance, his voice was addicting and so calming. She felt so safe, listening to him, that she had no idea when the song ended, or when it even started, for she fell into a deep, restful sleep. And Negan couldn’t help but watch, her face nuzzled into the crook of his neck, her smaller hand still clutching onto his shirt for reassurance that he wouldn’t just disappear.

Would Lucille be disappointed in him, for moving on so quickly? He’ll still love her - To the end of his existence, and back, so she needn’t be jealous. He’d never cheat again. But... She wasn’t there with him anymore. Y/N was. And Y/N was a good woman. Surely, Lucille would be happy that he was able to find someone that could mend together with perfect sutures his broken heart. Someone that is as broken as he is, just, in different ways. Lucille wouldn’t hate him, would she? Not for this. He deserves all her wrath for all the wrongs he’s done to her - But not for this. He needed this, as much as a man lost in the desert needed a drop of water. It wasn’t easy, attempting to make a move on Y/N without scaring her away. She was like a limping dear, or a starving fox - Wanting to approach, but too afraid to, though she masked it well enough with that proper etiquette facade of hers.

Whether she wanted him as a lover or not, her mere presence was enough, at least. He felt content, even like this. It was fine. It was perfect, just like this. During the day, they’d scavenge around for supplies, and at night, they’d chat until they felt sleepy - And then, they’d go sleep - Together also, now.

But Y/N seemed to have quite the agitated sleep - Was she having a nightmare, Negan wondered. His arms tightened around her body, hoping that, whatever scary thing she was dreaming of, will just disappear, or that at least he will appear there, her knight in shining armor, to rescue her. Instead of calming down, however, small, soft sobs could be heard for just a brief time, before Y/N jolted up with a cry of anguish. Though the room was dark, her trembling outline was shined on by the moonlight. She looked so fragile, so small... So hopeless. 

And then, with desperation, she jumped off and lunged for the bathroom door. Negan could hear the frantic sound of vomiting. Whatever it was she had dreamt of must have caused her great distress. “Doll? May I come in?” he knocked on the half-opened door, but instead of words, he heard a thump, as if she fell to the ground, and more sobs. Though uninvited, Negan opened the door properly, and slowly knelt by her side. “Oh, doll, what the hell did you dream of to make you this afraid?” his voice was uncharacteristically soft and soothing, in a low undertone, to attempt and calm her down. “Talk to me, Y/N.” with careful moves, Negan gathered the woman into his arms and cradled her to his chest, holding her tightly and kissing her hair. “Talk to me.” “I-I... I... I dreamt that y-you... That you left. S-Said that you hate me. C-Can’t... Can’t stand me... Anymore. I-I don’t w-want you to hate me. Or leave me. Please don’t leave me... Not like this... Please don’t leave me like this, Negan.” at once, his body stiffened, and flashes of the painted walls of his house went before his very eyes. Though the connotation was entirely different from what his Lucille meant when she wrote that, those words pained him no less. “I would never leave the person I love so much, Y/N.” he said that to Lucille once, and now, he said it to Y/N. Though the timing couldn’t be any worse, there was no other way he knew how to reassure her - And frankly, he did want to voice his feelings, once and for all, whatever may happen. After all, it wasn’t a lie, he did grow to love Y/N. Though she would never replace Lucille - She didn’t have to. Lucille had her own special spot in his heart, and Y/N has her own. She’s not a replacement, she’s a woman that Negan grew so very fond of. He’s made enough mistakes throughout his life, and he took his wife for granted for far too long a time. He would not make that mistake again. “Do you hear me, Y/N? I won’t leave you. I promise. And even if something happens and we’re separated - Just call out my name, okay? Call out my name, and I’ll be there for you, and I’ll say - Negan’s here! And you’ll flash me that pretty smile of yours, and will run to give me a hug, and say how much you missed me. How’s that sound?” he could feel her sniffling soften out, unlike her fingers, which clutched down even harder on the thin material of his pyjama shirt.  “Y-You... You really love... Someone like me? But I’m pathetic.” her voice was barely above a whisper, yet just enough to convey the brokenness of her heart. “Now, missy, I’ll have you know, I don’t really appreciate people speaking ill of the people I love.” he warned her.  The soft sound of an amused exhale made Negan’s heart make a leap. “You really mean it? You promise you do?” “Trust my words, doll. I never lied to you, and I don’t intend to start now.” carefully laxing his grip on her body, his hands found themselves cupping her face, and wiping away the streaming tears. “I’m not going to leave you alone. I love you, doll.” he leaned down, capturing her lips with his own, in a gentle, loving kiss. Somehow, it felt that, this kiss, the feelings behind it, they all made the dystopian world outside disappear altogether, and normality was back in place. Nothing bad could happen to them - They were protected by a divine aura - or something. “I love you so much, Negan.” she pulled him back into an embrace, and though she didn’t speak loud and clear, as his own declaration, her whispering the confession so dearly into his ear, somehow made it even more intimate.

If only things could remain as innocent and beautiful - It wasn’t possible though. Nobody was safe from the Apocalypse, from the misery and suffering of the world. Less than a month they spent in that house, before a hoard of walkers overrun the area, and Y/N and Negan had to run away, in split directions. They had set a meeting point, back at their spot. Barely a day after being away from each other, Negan returned to the small camp close to the street, and he waited for a whole night also, only to curse loudly and destroy an already broken car with his bat - He had just remembered her shit orientation in space. She could be 10 meters away from this place, and she’d end up going in the opposite direction. Silly girl, how will she survive all by herself out there?! She didn’t even have her cardigan with her, due to the speed with which they had to leave. It was going to get cold soon, and she’ll freeze the night away. How will she survive all alone out there? People and walkers alone were a huge threat, and she behaved like a wounded wild animal. She can’t stay alone. Not her. Not his Y/N. Not his doll. “Y/N!!! DOLL, IT’S NEGAN! COME HERE! NEGAN’S HERE, BABE!!” but no matter how much he tried to call out for her, she just didn’t appear.

Three days passed, and there was no trace of Y/N. Negan was becoming desperate. Y/N must have died by now... Still, if she somehow finds this place, he will leave the zipper hoodie he was wearing underneath his leather jacket. Hopefully, it will be her who finds it, not some other fucker... Or worse, a walker. 

He had to get back out there and live. He promised Lucille, and he promised Y/N too, that no matter what, he will live and carry on, no matter how much it hurt, leaving behind not one, but two women that he grew to love so much. His heart was mended once, only to become ripped and mauled into microscopic pieces once again. Damn it, he shouldn’t have allowed himself to fall in love so easily. Just three months together, and he falls so hard for her... Damn it, doll. Please don’t be dead.

Almost three years passed, and the old Negan was nowhere to be seen - Instead, the boy that was once a highschool bully had returned, and Negan was now the leader of the Saviours, six hundred people, scattered around several outposts. He had lieutenants, he had a right hand, and not enough ‘wives’. On the off-chance that he makes the mistake of accidentally remembering his real past wives, Lucille and Y/N, the idea that some women that are nothing but some pretty faces to warm his bed felt almost uncomfortable. But it was fine. He had no more room for suffering in his body - Killing and fucking was all he had left in this fucked up world. Maybe cursing too - But Y/N always cringed when he’d curse or yell, so he kept himself at bay... For as much as he could.

Now, he didn’t care about anything anymore. Nothing matter, except for his own survival, and the longevity of his group of Saviours. He dominated every community around, and he was the supreme leader, the Caesar at the Colosseum.

For the longest time, there was nobody who dared contest his rule - Almost three whole years, he was the King of the Jungle, overruling even the mighty Lion - Hell, he was above even Zeus himself - And then, those pesky fuckers came over and killed a bunch of his people - Innocent, normal people too, all that while they were asleep. Bullshit. As if he was going to leave that unpunished. Those fuckers were going to pay, tenfold. A hundredfold, at least. Fifty-six of his own people were dead. There will be hell to pay.

That night, Rick’s group was walking through the woods, holding Maggie’s exhausted, sick, and very pregnant body, only to get caught in a trap. From all over the the forest, ominous whistles echoed eerily, creeping them out, alerting them of the enemies they’ve walked into. They had to run the hell away from there before they got caught.

But it was far too late for an escape... They were caught by tens and tens... Or maybe there were a hundred people there, surrounding them? All of them with weapons of all kinds, and even cars. They were forced to give up their weapons, and got to their knees - From other cars, Glenn, Michonne and Daryl, all beaten up, were thrown to the ground also. This ugly guy with a rat instead of a moustache, the one who ordered them around, knocked on the RV and invited someone to come out, as if he was welcoming the Celebrity of the Night, the Guest of Honour, to walk down the red carpet and have his picture taken, in the spotlight.

Negan stepped out - The Man of the Night was ready to instill his revenge on the fuckers who dared cross his path and defy his ultimate authority. To think all of this happened to Rick’s group, because they tried to get to the Hilltop, find a doctor to medicate poor Maggie... Rick looked around, counting the people, only to realise - One of them was missing. Maybe she escaped? Hopefully, she did. At least her - Though, with all of them trapped here, there was little she could do by herself. Or, perhaps she could go and be welcomed, all by herself, to either Alexandria, or the Hilltop. Maybe even the Kingdom? Oceanside? Any community worked.

“Pissed your pants yet?” the man with the bat asked, with a sarcastic, dry chuckle. He meant business. He was a true threat, merely with his presence alone. No doubt, he was the leader of the Survivors, Rick realised quickly. They were screwed. “Boy, do I have a feeling we’re getting close.” he said, finally stepping into the light. He was tall, and well built. Rick knew, even if he were to brawl with him, he’d be at a disadvantage. “Yep.” the man walked across the line the eleven of them made. “Gonna be Pee-Pee-Pants City here real soon.” was he going to bash them all down with that bat of his? “Which one of you pricks is the leader?” he asked.  Simon immediately pointed his nasty, crooked finger at the ex-policeman. “It’s that guy. He’s the one.”  “Hi.” Negan looked down at Rick, lazily stepping in front of him. “You’re Rick, right?” rhetorical, as always. “I’m Negan. And I do not appreciate you killing my men. Also, when I sent my people to kill your people, for killing my people - You killed MORE of my people! NOT cool! Nooot cool! You have no idea how NOT cool that shit is. But! I think you’re gonna be up to speed shortly.” Rick gulped in fear, looking up at the enemy. “Yeah. You’re SO gonna regret crossing me in a few minutes.” he grinned. “Yes, you are~♪.” he said, in a singy voice. “You see, Rick - Whatever you do, no matter what - You don’t mess with the new world order. New world order is this, and it’s really, very simple - So, even if you’re stupid, which you very may well be, you can understand it. You ready? Here it goes, pay attention.” Negan lowered his bat, pointing the end of it to his face, raising it slightly. “Give me your shit, or I will kill you.” he removed the bat, and smiled. “Today was Career Day. We invested a lot, so you would know who I am and what I can do. You work for me now. You have shit, you give it to me - That’s your job.” Rick couldn’t help but look up, frightened, not for his life, but everyone else’s - Especially Carl’s. “Now, I know there is a mighty big, nasty pill to swallow... But swallow it, you most certainly will. You ruled the roost. you built something. You thought you were safe - I get it - But, the word is out. You... Are NOT safe. Not even close. In fact - You are pegged. More pegged, if you don’t do what I want, and what I want is half your shit. And if that’s too much, you can make, find or steal more, and it’ll even out, sooner or later. “ this fucking bastard spoke too much, for what he was worth. “This - Is your way of life now. The more you fight back, the harder it will be. So, if someone knocks on your door, you let us in.” he chuckled. “We OWN that door.” he stated. “You try to stop us, and we will knock it down. You understand?” nobody dared utter even a shaky breath. “What? No answer?” Negan comically approached Rick, his hand to his ear. “You don’t really think that you were gonna get through this without being punished now, did you?” all at once, everyone’s hearts stopped beating. “I don’t want to kill you, people - Just want to make that clear from the get-go. I want you to work for me. You CAN’T do that if you’re dead, now, can you?” surely, it can’t be that simple, can it? “I’m not growing a garden... But! You KILLED my people. A whole damn lot of them - More than I’m comfortable with! And for that, you’re gonna pay... So now... I’m gonna beat the holy hell out of one of you.” the resolution had finally come to light. “This - Is Lucille. And SHE is AWESOME.” Negan showed off his bat. “All~ this. ALL this is just so we can pick out which one of you gets the honour.”

Negan walked from one light to the other, visualising the victims. One of the women was close to crying, and her health looked to be in poor condition. She couldn’t even stay still, kneeling on the ground. The other, a military man, looked up at him with tough, defiant eyes. Intriguing. Then, came a boy with a cowboy had and a bandage over one side of his face. He crouched in front of him, and though the kid tried to stay cool, the fear was obvious on his face. When he went back to look at the crying woman, the Asian had an emotional outburst - It was hilariously pathetic - But he was benevolent! Negan was going to let that one slide, for free! And he had even more fun, pointing his bat back at the kid, once he realised that was Rick’s kid, of all things!

“JUST STOP IT!” Rick growled pitifully.  “HEY! Do NOT make me kill the little, future serial killer. Don’t make it easy on me! I got to pick SOMEBODY! Everybody’s at the table, waiting for me to order.” he started whistling, going back and forth, looking at the people. “I simply cannot decide!” he chuckled. “But I got an idea!” and he started pointing his bat at each and every one of those people. “Eenie- Meenie, Miney, Mo” he’d linger just enough to make everyone have small heart attacks. Seeing them crying, shivering, trembling, desperate, hopeless or even hopeful that they may escape the attack, that another will take the death for them. Something, anything.

People were SO tragic.

“Anybody moves, cut the boy’s other eye out and feed it to his father, and then we’ll start.” Negan ordered, finally picking his unfortunate target. “You can breathe, you can blink, you can cry - Hell, you’re ALL gonna be doing that.” everyone shrieked in horror, watching the victim take the first hit to the head, with all of the enemy’s might. “Oh, ho, wowieee, look at ya, taking it like a champ!” One more, and another, and many, many more, until Abraham’s head was nothing but perfectly minced mush. Everyone was in complete disbelief at the terror they’d just witnessed - It wasn’t real. It couldn’t be. It didn’t make sense. Abraham - Dead? No way. Negan stopped destroying the already dead remains that became nothing but a stain of blood on the pebbled ground, and went around, taunting everyone with his bloody bat. Surely, there remained some hanging scraps of Abraham, still dangling from the barbed wire. The last bit of their friend, and it was on the monster’s weapon, no less. “LOOK AT IT!” Negan laughed, watching with sadistic pleasure as Rosita was trembling and sobbing violently - only to stumble backwards, punched in the face by the redneck who was once wrapped in a blanket. He watched as Daryl was being wrestled down by his own people, like an angry, raging bull, and he crouched down, grabbing a fistful of the idiot’s hair. It was the time for another divine punishment. He warned them once - He did, he was nice! He even gave them a freebie! But not anymore. No exceptions. Because of Dixon’s angry outburst, they were, once again, in the free line of fire.

Before he could get a good look at those pathetic fuckers kneeling before him, and choosing another victim, a shrill shriek, feminine, resounded desperately somewhere through the forest. Rick stiffened. Damn it, why now, of all times? Couldn’t she choose a better time to find their location? What’s the use of being directionally impaired, if you’re gonna find the group at the worst possible time ever?

“What was that?” Negan asked, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards. “Another... Friend of yours? Did we miss one?” he chuckled, crouching down by Rick’s side - The Policeman was speechless. Though he remained silent, the sound of echoing bullets was getting closer to their location, and rapid footsteps were getting right in the enemy’s trap, like a butterfly caught in the spider’s web. “That was a woman, alright. I know a woman screaming when I hear one.” Negan pointed out. “She pretty?” he smirked. “She your girlfriend, maybe? Is that why you’re quiet?”

As he signaled for Dwight and another one of his bigass brutes to get in position and grab the surprise guest, he heard the rapid breathing - She must have been running for a while now. “Rick!! Hoard -- Hoard coming! They’re coming, Rick!” a hoard, coming over? Good information. Perhaps he might just spare this one, for the sake of her own stupidity. She came over willingly, after all.  “RUN, IT’S A TRAP!” Rick yelled back at her, but it was far to late - The hulking man grabbed her, earning a squeak of surprise - She was held up in the air, only to be forcefully thrown to the ground. “NEGAN!” her soft voice sounded raw as she called out that name, as though she was expecting some kind of God to come over and magically save her. Negan, she said. How did she know that name? 

The party watched their friend’s body roll to the ground, still for a few second, only to unexpectedly jump, and with a masterfully planned trip, she brought down the big guy, and when faced with Dwight’s crossbow, she had her hands up in a sign she gave up, only for them to realise that she had waited for the big guy to get up and rush to her, so that she could swiftly side-stepped the crossbow, get behind Dwight and force him to shoot his ally’s shoulder, while she put a knife to his neck, using him as the perfect human shield.

Negan’s eyes widened in shock and delight, and he whistled, impressed by the woman’s feat. He even applauded. “Well, I’ll be damned! What a masterful performance! I’m impressed - Really, I am! A woman, taking down two of my men like that, with nothing but her bare arms? Ha! I want you for a bodyguard, ma’am! In fact - You remind me of someone very dear to me, y’know? She could pull badass stunts like that.” he then turned to Rick. “Where’d you find such a fine woman, Rick? Were you the one who taught her to say my name like that~?” “Rick... Wh-What’s going on?” unlike the strength and prowess she displayed, her voice was unexpectedly quivering and broken... And awfully familiar. “I’ll tell you what happened, doll - If you let me get a good look at your pretty face. I mean - Not that I can really see you, you know, but I’ve just got this feeling that you’re a real doll, but that messy, big ass hair of yours is getting in the way of my admiring.” Negan chuckled, swinging Lucille around in circle-motions, only to hear the woman gasp, and the knife fell out of her hand. Negan stopped in his tracks, confused by her sudden moment of weakness - Not only that, she even allowed Dwight to get out of her grasp. “Lucille...? Negan...?” the woman spoke out those names, and Negan froze, his mouth slightly agape - Now it all made sense. That large, dirty blue hoodie she was wearing, the one that almost completely swallowed her whole - It was the hoodie that he left for her, years ago. “Y/N...? Now way!” slowly, the woman lifted the hair to reveal her face - It wasn’t as dirty as the first time he met her, but she was just as exhausted, and even more scared, if it was possible. “That’s right - Negan’s here, doll!” he let his bloody weapon hit the ground, extending his arms, and at once, Y/N ran to him, throwing herself into his embrace. “I thought you were dead - This can’t be... Are you, really?! You’re alive?! I’m not dead, am I? Or dreaming?” with a kiss, he shushed her down. “Did that feel real to you, hun?” her blush was still as adorable as always. No doubt, even after so long, she hadn’t gotten over that extreme embarrassment of hers. No matter, it was all fine. She was back. Y/N was really back. “Y-Yeah... B-But, Negan - What’s going on? I-I don’t understand what’s going on.” with one hand, he wiped away the stray tears falling down her pretty face, only to turn her around and hug her from behind, making her see the group. “Were you with them, Y/N?” he rested his chin on her head, and he felt the small motions of a nod. “Y-Yeah. A few weeks after we lost each other, I... I found Rick’s group, and they were nice enough to take me in. Been staying with them ever since.” she explained, confused as why was everyone in such despair. Then, she saw the large splatter of blood, and the familiar, ravished clothes laying there. “N-Negan... Wh-What’s that...?” “That, my dear, used to be one of your group. Too bad - He was a real man, that one. Muscles and all. Took a real one for the team. Or maybe six. Or seven. Or more. I lost count after a while.” he felt her body stiffen up. “Don’t be too upset, now, Y/N - You were the one who taught me how to kill people, weren’t you? Three years ago, when all shit hit the fan? Remember that night, with those guys attacking us? You said - Killing people is fine, as long as you’re defending yourself. And I did just that!” he placed a kiss on her temple. “You see - Rick’s group here - I mean, you might know about it already - But, Rick’s group killed not one, not two, not three - But fifty-six people. MY people. So - Of course, I took that as an act of war, and instilled my revenge. But you know me, Y/N, I’m a merciful man. I only took the life of one of them.” “B-But... There must be a mistake! Everyone - Everyone here... They’re good people! It must be a misunderstanding! Please, let’s not fight each other anymore!” she tried to beg him, only to feel everyone’s eyes fixated on her. “Rick’s people killed my people, doll. And I sent a few others to kill them - But Rick’s group killed them too, and a bunch more! I can’t let that slide unpunished. But it’s fine, really, it is. I want them to work for me now, and they can’t work if they’re dead, right?” Negan explained, chuckling darkly in her ear. “...No way...” she gasped in disbelief. “That means - You’re with the Saviours?” “No, doll, I’m not WITH the Saviours. I am their leader. Of all six hundred of them. More or less. I lost count, and so did Simon. They keep dying, or appearing, now, more than anything, thanks to Rick’s decision of decimating my men.” Negan shot the policeman a triumphant smirk. “...I’ve missed a lot in three years, haven’t I?” she frowned, crestfallen at the realisation. Negan couldn’t help but grin wider, twirling her around, this time, to look at him. He was the supreme leader now, and he was proudly and efficiently responsible for hundreds of lives. He wasn’t that deadbeat fuck anymore. He needn’t protection anymore. He was Negan, and he was out for blood. This was the real Negan. “S-So... You’ve killed Abraham. You said just one of them had to die. Now, what?” “Were you playing us all along?” the unexpected rough voice of Daryl Dixon made Y/N’s head snap at him, her expression was shocked, Negan realised. “Wh-What?! How can you say that - Of course not! I thought he was dead! I have been loyal to the group all this time, I-I’ve gone through all that with you - How can you accuse me of something so awful?!” she was pissed. “Cozying up to the guy who just made porridge out of our friend - And you call yourself loyal to the group?” he sneered at her. “And what would you have me do?! I don’t know what happened - I don’t even know what you guys did, I don’t really know anything, do I?” she refuted immediately. “Abraham’s death is on you, Y/N.” without any warning, the redneck jolted up and grabbed ahold of her hoodie - He tried to attack her, in an impulsive act of revenge, but Negan punched him down easily, while his other lackeys wrestled him down to the ground. “Wait, hooold the fuck up a second - Doesn’t this situation look... Familiar? Hey, Rick, is that what they call a Deja-vu? Well! Excuse the fuck out of my French, but this is sooo fucked up from y’all. You see - I was willing to let even that second outburst slide - After all, Rick, you DID care for my sweet, precious Y/N when I couldn’t, y’know? She means the world to me. I was willing to call that one a mistake too. Buuut ~ ♪! Unfortunately, third time’s the charm. I can’t allow anyone to harm my sweet Y/N. So~ ♪ Y/N, look away and cover your ears. I don’t want you to see more of this.” he gently moved her away. “Back to it.” without any warning or moment of preparation, Negan smashed Glenn’s head. Negan stole a look back at Y/N, and he noticed her whimpering. He felt bad, having to make her be a witness to all this - Alas, nothing could be done, and he completely destroyed the Asian’s head, letting out all the rage, frustration and any existent negative emotions that were bubbling in his heart. “Let’s go home, doll. You must want to take a loooong, warm bath and change into some fresh clothes. Get some good damn food, drink something. Just like old times.” Negan slung his arm around her shoulders, bringing her towards the RV, motioning for Simon to take over and leave those guys be, but neither could ignore the cries and sobs, nor the accusations of betrayal shot her way. Negan just brought her closer to his side and helped her up in the car.

Y/N barely had any power to speak - Instead, she just cuddled into Negan’s side, trying to wipe away the images of blood and gore that her old friends had become... All by the hand of the man she loved so much.

As promised, Negan had someone draw her a nice bath and got her a comfy set of clothes. By the time she was done, she threw herself on the bed, and Negan came over with a tray full of nicely cooked food for her. “You spoil me.” she chuckled breathlessly. “Only the best for my princess.” he gave her a side-smile, sitting on the edge of the bed and watching her eat. “Your hair’s still as much of a mess as before.” Y/N stopped eating. She felt guilty, for some reason. “Forgive me. I lost the tie you gave me.” she muttered. “I... Had a close call once. This guy, he... He grabbed me by the hair. Tried to, well... It doesn’t matter. But I cut my hair with my knife to escape, then killed him too. My hair was... So short and uneven. It was weird. I tried looking for it again, but it was lost in the swamp, so... Yeah. Sorry.” she explained, placing the food back on the tray. “N’aww, s’all cool, doll, don’t worry so much. It was just some hair tie I had around randomly.” he waved his hand at her dismissively. “It was the only thing you had left of your wife.” she muttered. “I know. It wasn’t difficult to figure out. So... Yeah. Sorry, again.” she gulped. “As smart as always.” Negan smirked. “God, I missed you.” he chuckled, still in disbelief that she’s alive. “What’s been going on - Since we parted, I mean.” he looked down for a little, before looking back at her. “Were you alone for long?” She hesitated. “I... Found my way to our spot. After a week. Pathetic, I know. I knew you waited for me... Thanks for the hoodie, by the way. It was very useful, especially during the winter.” she smiled weakly. “So... I went on the road. Two weeks... Or maybe more? I don’t know - But I found Rick and his group. They had just escaped a huge hoard of walkers from the farm they were living at. Many months, we were just on the road. It was... It was awful.” she muttered. “We found a prison. Made a few inmate friends. But it was awful... Not living there, no - Living there was really good actually. It’s just... So many bad guys terrorized us.” she shuddered. “The guy you killed... Glenn... His wife... She used to have two little sisters. Sweet little girls, innocent and giggly.” the woman bit her lip hard. “There was this old guy, a prisoner. He was creepy... Gave me bad vibes, but the women didn’t believe me. Said he was always helpful to them. He... He killed them. He- He decapitated the little girls, Negan! He was crazy!” she said, before she properly removed the hair from her face, showing a nasty scar around her neck. “Almost got me too. Nasty old man. Rick broke his hand, beating him almost to death. Maggie killed him as revenge, in the end.” she shuddered. “It never healed. Ugly scar will never leave.” she muttered pitifully. “Ugly scar, you say? What’s that nonsense.” Negan scoffed. “You’re as beautiful as I remember. You survived. You’re back here, with me. That’s all that matters.” he scolded her, before he pushed the tray a little to the side, getting a better seat on the bed and patting his lap. The way her cheeks flushed was so endearing and adorable, he couldn’t resist. “Come on, doll, don’t be shy. I want to get a better look at my beautiful girl.” reticent and timid, Y/N crawled on his lap, as his arms pulled her against his chest, a kiss on her forehead. “Go on. Negan’s here, no need to be afraid anymore.” he said, his kiss trailing down to her neck, going all the way across the white line that marked her skin. He could feel the soft vibrations of her giggle, as his stubble dragging along the thin, sensitive skin of her neck got tickled involuntarily. It only made Negan grip her body, as he playfully teased her more, just to hear those sweet sounds of hers. He hated hearing her cry all the time. He wanted to only ever see her smile and hear that lovely laugh of hers. “...I called out your name, you know.” through her giggles, the little statement felt so nostalgic and melancholic, that it made Negan stop and slowly retract, to get a better look at her. His heart sunk a little - He had promised to keep her safe so many times... He promised he’d be there whenever she’d call out for him. In that aspect, he failed her. Again. “Every time I was in danger, I called out for you. You never came... I’m not blaming you! I just... I don’t know why I did that. Maybe I just... I just hoped that... Maybe, somehow... You would come out of nowhere.” she admitted - Negan couldn’t help but smile at her - Damn, was she good. “Just like today, huh?” he couldn’t help but feel so smug - Even after three years, the instinct of calling out to him for protection, despite it being her, the protector, most of the time - It was the most endearing thing that Negan’s heard in his entire life. “That was really embarrassing, y’know?” she mumbled, looking away. “But I guess it doesn’t matter anymore. What’s done is done. After all... After three years of calling out for you... You’re finally here. You’re not dead. I can’t believe you’re not dead. I-I... I don’t really know how to... I don’t know how to express properly what I’m feeling. I’m tragic at everything that doesn’t involve my body outright threatening to self-implode from fear - It’s always been this way. So... Even if it’s embarrassing as hell... I just want you to know that, you being alive... It’s the happiest I’ve ever been.” Negan couldn’t contain the ever growing grin on his face - Hell, he even had to shift his gaze away from that innocent, adorable face of hers, all bashful and shit - He dragged his hand down his face, ruffled away at his beard, all to stop the childish giddiness he was feeling. He couldn’t. “It’s been three years. It’s insane how much different our lives have been. You’ve been thriving and adapting so, so very well. You created a community... A whole community, and you’re their leader! Hundreds of them! You’ve become so strong and confident, and everyone’s relying on you. You’re so cool, you know? I wish I was there to see all this.” she sighed lowly. “Instead... I was on the run for months, and when we finally found a nice place to settle at the prison, I almost get killed a few times. A few of us got kidnapped too, by the psycho leader of another community - Called himself the Governor. He cut off Rick’s hand. He... He tortured and raped Michonne for days. I and Glenn were locked away in the room nearby, to hear everything. I don’t even want to imagine what he’d have done to me, if Michonne hadn’t pissed him off by biting his ear off.” she shuddered. “Bunch of us died because of him. A few of us almost died from a bad flu. It was awful. I think I was delirious for a few days too. Then, we get caught by a group of cannibals, of all things. More of us died again.” her eyes were gleaming with forming tears. “All of this... All of this... Three years... All by their side... And I get called a - A traitor. Why? I don’t get it. Am I really that bad? But even if I am - What have I done? Is it because I knew you, at the very beginning of the Apocalypse? Is that all? That sounds like a kinder garden reason, doesn’t it? But maybe it’s not me who’s wrong. Maybe it’s them. I can’t be a bad person for knowing you, can I? I can’t help loving you. It just happened.” Negan kissed her to shut up. “It’s been three god damn long, fucking years, doll. The man I was, and the man I am now - We’re different. Whatever those fuckers accuse you of, doesn’t matter. In the end, Negan’s here for you doll, a’ight? I’ve gotcha.” he kissed her again. “Besides - I  was supposed to be the one who talks too much, wasn’t I? When you speak so much, you’re usually afraid or overthinking or some stupid shit like that. That won’t do anymore, doll! No more silly thoughts around me! My pretty girl won’t be upset anymore. She’ll be safe here, among friends. I’ll make sure of that.” Y/N gave him an amused smirk. “Will your wives also take care of me? I should let you know, I got proposed to, in the prison. Twice. Both times, by women. One of them, in fact, wanted to marry me AND Rick and his wife. But you never did ask me out, did you?” her cheeky grin made him laugh, only to shove his hand in the pocket of his pants, but his fist was closed, as he looked at it with a leisure, dazzling grin.  “Well, love, ‘bout damn fucking time I change that, don’t you think?” opening his fist, he revealed a pretty ring. Nothing too flashy, but it sported her favourite colour scheme. “Used to be, you wore lots of pretty jewellery. Looked damn fine on you. Whatever fucker dared take them away from you, better wish he died, otherwise, I’ll fucking bash his head against the wall - But that only means I get to bring more gifts for my lovely girl.” Negan looked at her flabbergast expression - What begun as a joke, turned into an actual proposal, and it was such a hearfelt and very Negan-style one. He couldn’t help but feel his heart beat faster, watching the blush deepen on her face, and the way her beautiful eyes darted around, as if her brain had shortcircuited trying to come up with a proper response for it. With no better answer, she said just a single word. “Yes.” “Now that’s what I love to hear!” he laughed mirthfully, gingerly picking her hand and slipping the ring down her finger, only to place a small kiss on the back of her hand, and on the inside of her wrist. “If I’d known you were alive, they wouldn’t have existed. I gave them the option, to live a good life by my side, or work their place here, like the rest of the people. Can’t imagine any of those would rather give up their luxuries, even if that meant leaving their partners, y’know.” he let out a disapproving tut noise. “But you, Y/N. You’ll always be my lovely Y/N.” he said, pulling her flush against his chest. “Fuck those guys - They can’t appreciate you as you deserve. And fuck the world too - Fuck everyone else even. I’ll make sure you don’t have too see any of those dead fucks again, and like hell will I allow any threat to get anywhere close to you.” he declared boldly. “It’s been us, against everything, from the very beginning, and that’s how I intend to continue it, until this fucking mess finally ends.” “And if it doesn’t?” she asked timidly. “Well, love, I’d say I’ve still a good couple of years ahead of me to enjoy, with you by my side. What do you say? We’re not getting old, are we?” he chuckled, mimicking the forming grin on her face. She felt light, and happy - She was brightening up the whole room, and Negan’s heart, along with it. “Sounds about right to me.”

As the Sun was setting, and the Moon was out once more, Negan brought his dear wife up, and led her to the living room, lit up by candles. A radio was there, and he put a cassette on ; A bitter-sweet love song played. It was ‘When the Wild Wind Blows’ by Iron Maiden, the tale of a husband and wife who form a suicide pact, as they watch the end of the world sweep on them, from their fallout shelter. Unexpectedly fitting for their situation, but beautifully tragic, no less. The two held each other, as they swung and danced the night away, with Negan softly singing the lyrics, in that soothing, velvety voice of his, that never failed to lit afire every nerve in her body.

Negan held Y/N in his arms, her head against his chest - Surely, she could feel the way his heart beat to the rhythm of her own drum, but it was fine. He loved Y/N. It was perfectly fine.

For a few seconds, in his euphoric daze, an apparition flashed before his very eyes, freezing him on the spot - It was Lucille, and she was smiling at him, just like the good, old times. She offered him a nod, and then she disappeared.  Was this her way of forgiving him for all his wrong-doing? Was this her way of giving him the blessing of actually moving on, and truly falling in love with a new wife?  Was she going to erase all the nightmares that he had been plagued with?

Negan looked down at the beloved woman looking so comfortable in his arms, and he kissed her hair. “I love you, Y/N.” and finally, Negan didn’t feel guilty for having feelings for another woman anymore. “I love you.”

[atopvisenyashill]

George Is A Coward For Never Doing Gay Incest

an incomplete list of gay incest he could have done, it was right fucking there come onnnn

Rhaenys/Visenya you are telling me lesbian icon Visenya who hates her husband and lives completely separately from him for decades but somehow managed to live with him while Rhaenys is alive wasn’t in love with Rhaenys? that the paternity of both aenys and maegor is questioned and we get nothing to delve into how that affected the relationship between the sisters? cowardly!

Viserys/Daemon, i’m gonna be honest EYE consider this canon and there’s nothing george can do about it, like daemon beats the messenger who told him viserys remarried bc he’s so mad and that’s NOT gay rage over how much he wants to be his brother’s wife so they can be aegon and visenya and conquer the world together, even while daemon flaunts his privileges as a man?? nah i see right through gyldayn’s heterosexuality.

Aegon II/Aemond, you're telling me Aemond calls himself protector of the realm while his brother is dying of his wounds but specifically doesn't call himself king, and Aegon throws Aemond a party after Aemond kinslays and helps kicks off the war and those two weren't fucking?? whack.

Baela/Rhaena, Baela has this amazing, bad ass, ultimately completely useless stand off that ends in the deaths of two dragons, eventually married to an uncle/cousin who cheats on her constantly, and is completely shut out of politics aka she gets Rhaenyra-ed, and meanwhile Rhaena gets two husbands that adore her, a dragon, and significant respect from the Lords, I am telling you there is some sort of psychosexual obsession here in how in order for Rhaena to rise (and HEAL), Baela must fall and suffer, and Baela "trying desperately to be Daemon's mini me" Targaryen wouldn't get obsessive over this.

Aegon III/Gaemon Palehair is possibly incest given we don’t know who Gaemon’s father is, also i know there’s an awkward age gap but see: my gay little hands and characters i like, also, there’s weird age gaps everywhere and aegon ii was old enough to have a bastard closer to aegon iii’s age if george had been less of a coward smh. so much here in the way gaemon’s crown is torn from his head along with his mothers and he’s forced to serve the monarchy, only to fall in love with the living embodiment of every painful memory gaemon has, of aegon resenting the crown on his own head bc if he’d been the fourth born son he could have never married and lived his life with gaemon, with his brothers, with his mother, but now they’re stuck in these roles that are going to devour them whole and he can see it coming but he can’t stop it!

Daena/Elaena, listen, two sisters with bastards who choose different sides of a war because daena has only ever found freedom with the traditional, racist fucks that want to crown her son so she throws her lot in with them because she will not be a prisoner ever again dammit and elaena was only ever freed when daeron allowed her an outlet for her immense intelligence and she’s in love with a dornish man who opens her eyes to the prejudices at court, and under all that are two girls who only ever found peace in the maidenvault through their small, stolen kisses and raising their bastards together, a little odd family forced together by the madness of their brother completely split apart by the madness of court LIKE??? HELLO?

Baelor Breakspear/Maekar, think of the POSSIBILITIES of how the monarchy is purposefully stepping away from incest only for two brothers so dissimilar to find an attraction between them they don’t understand, Maekar always jealous of all that Baelor is given while Baelor longs for Maekar’s relative freedom and they refuse to say what they really mean, how they really feel, and Baelor dies by Maekar’s hand IT IS GIVING ALRIGHT

Jon/Aegon VI, I will be pushing this literally until the day ados comes out and my whole “they gave show!dany aegon’s plot in the stormlands, the reach, and dorne which means jon/aegon is going to be full of homoeroticism and we will get a scene where Jon calls Aegon a child and Aegon throws a petulant fit in front of his unknown half baby brother” theory gets jossed. and if he doesn’t do it he’s a coward AND I STAND ON THAT.

[didyoutrydynamite]

In Renegate AU, how would a game of "Remnant" go? Like the one from JNRZ durables. Would they gang up on Jaune, or are they so competitive that it is free for all? Does Neo use her semblance to cheat?

Renegades: *Currently into their third hour of Remnant the Game*

Cinder: *Playing as Atlas, currently occupying Vacuan soil, her immense armada's blockading Vale and Mistral as she continued her brutal invasion on Adam's territory.*

Ah, my dear Adam, you continue to fight against the inevitable. You see, your resistance is nothing more than a fleeting illusion, a feeble attempt to defy the natural order of power. You cannot prevail against the might I possess. Surrender now, and I may grant you a merciful end. Embrace the futility of your struggle and bask in the superiority of my dominance. I promise, under my rule this world will see a new age!

Adam: *Playing as Vacuo, has long ago activated his Faction's Special Condition, where despite losing his Capital, he now can continue fighting as long as his Leader is alive and he meets a certain Morale Threshold. He is now waging guerilla warfare on Cinder's invading forces, and has started instigating civil unrest in all other factions to increase Grimm count so no one can overrun his rebel cells.*

Your words may be laced with arrogance, but they cannot smother the flame of our determination. We refuse to be shackled by your oppressive rule, for we believe in the power of unity and the resilience of the Vacuan spirit. We will rise against your tyranny, forging a future where freedom reigns and your reign crumbles. *Stands up, knocking over his chair* So, prepare yourself, you demon, for we are the embodiment of hope, and no matter the odds, WE WILL NEVER YIELD! FREEDOOOOOOM!!!

Neo: *Playing as Mistral, cheating her ass off. With her Semblance, she's been disguising troop placements, switching cards, twisting the borders of territories, and fudging every dice roll. All other players have to constantly tap the board or flick her cards to shatter any possible illusions she conjures. It's to a point where not even Neo know's what's real anymore and has gone mad with power as a Goddess of Mischief and Deceit over their tiny flat world.*

(Behold, mortals, the one who dances in the shadows, the embodiment of chaos and cunning. I, Neo Politan, revel in the twisted tapestry of this world. Through deceit, I unravel the fabric of your feeble existence, leaving naught but confusion and despair in my wake! See how the world crumbles beneath my touch, a testament to my unstoppable might. Every thread of trust unraveled, every heart ensnared by my web of lies. Chaos, my eternal companion, dances with glee as I tear down the foundations of your fragile order. MWHAHAHAHAAH!)

Jaune: *Playing as trusty Vale, a bulwark of honor and courage stands against the war torn world of Remnant. Grimm thrive and grow fat with gluttony on the horrors these lands now face. He faces riots and unrest in his city streets thanks to Adam's revolutionaries, his people face hunger and famine thanks to Cinder's blockades, and now he can't even trust his own eyes thanks to the chaos and confusion of Neo's powers.*

Guys, this is by far the most fun game of Remnant I've ever had, I'm glad we're friends. 😊

[sinvulkt]

List of some of webtoon and manhwa recs.

First of all I should probably say that my favorite type of stories (so the type you might find in the list bellow) is ’tragedy comedy adventure’ without any romance, but possibly a lot of bromance | tension (ok some BL slipped by me into this list). And rather self destructive mc for the sake of their goal (often to the utter despair of the people who care about them xd). Bring forth conflicts and battles of will and rising against destiny !

@blackhazefanblog I did this for you! It took a while. Even if I think you’ll find the ones in [The Fantasy Kind] are the most likely to have similar vibes to black haze. : D

All summaries are from Baka-Updates or WebtoonLine. The links are either towards WebtoonLine, or towards the original official site (or official english translation if i found it).

The Fantasy Kind

Black Haze (Ongoing)

A long time ago, a portal to another world was opened, and those who acquired special abilities along with marks began to be called mages. After the incident known as "that day", the first-class mage from Ophion, known as "Blow", has become very famous. One day, he receives a very special mission: to protect the second son of the Artian family, who suffers from being called a "monster" at the magic school "Helios"! Thus, Blow enrolls in Helios under the name "Rood Krisch" to hide his true identity...

My all time favorite. I learned english thanks to it < 3. And it just group so many of my favorite tropes in one story ☆.☆

I’m not that kind of talent (Ongoing)

A talented individual who is respected by many and welcomed anywhere? Not at all! A bloodthirsty battle fanatic who knows no defeat? Couldn’t be further from the truth! In reality, Deon Hardt is a sickly human who coughs up blood from receiving the tiniest bit of stress and gets sunburns from standing in the sun for ten minutes. But due to an unfortunate misunderstanding, he becomes “Demon Arut,” the notorious 0th corps commander of the demon army and the demon king’s joker. Caught in a war between humans and demonkind, Deon must find a way to survive!

I discovered that one this year! I love comediy and tragedy mixed together, and that one fully achieved that, from making me laugh to absolutely destroying my heart seriously i am still hurting. Well this is a tragedy. Be warned. But a delicious one. (My heart TT.TT).

The Ember Knight (Ongoing)

When Nagyunn’s twin brother, Najin, is murdered before his very eyes, he vows to avenge his brother’s death by assuming Najin’s identity. But although the two may look alike, when it comes to fighting, Nagyunn lacks the talent and skill his brother possessed. In order to successfully execute his plot for revenge, Nagyunn resolves to train himself to become the prodigious knight-in-training his brother once was. Will Nagyunn be able to keep his identity a secret before others begin to catch on to his act?

Another one I discovered ’recently’ = last year. I absolutely adore the fact that the mc rely fully on wits and bluff. He will never get a cheat skill to get as strong as others- he just has to play his card rights (which happen to be a bunch of overprotective knights wishing he stopped going in front of the blade path). So he gotta bluff. A lot. Including playing betrayal at every corner, and i sure love betrayal :3. That and it’s a revenge story ~

TAL (Complete)

They walk like ordinary people, they talk like ordinary people but in fact there is nothing ordinary about them since they can materialize an image they have on their mind... They call themselves Chachaoong which also means Shaman and they do not know how or when they came to this world. It is now a time for their current king to choose the future one and so he did by choosing Yu Jin an ordinary human...? Many of the Chachaoong can not tolerate a human ruling them and now the poor Yu Jin not knowing what suddenly hit him, is trying to avoid the Chachaoongs who are trying to kill him!

This has been my second favorite after Black Haze for a long time, because I got a soft spot for escapists xd. All the more escapists with consequences catching them back faster than they can run until they’re cornered ☆.☆ Fight until the end against a fate you are doom to surrender to ~ I love it.

Catharsis (Complete)

Fear is a powerful emotion that can end up overtaking one's life. Leon thought he knew that. But when he's thrown into the demonic realm that Catharsis governs over, he'll learn that there is more to “true” fear than he could ever have imagined... But will he learn how to face it?

That one also stayed in my mind for a long time. The ending is more ’open’ than I would have wished, but well, there is no sequel yet so let’s call that an ending. Appart from that i loved the mc, and he has synesthesis which give really cool result in webtoon format (yay colors). In a world where nightmares take physical shape, the mc get attacked by nightmares and end up being recruited by the agency fighting nightmares bcs they feel smthg off about him.

Crepuscule (Complete)

Lark is different from the rest of the kids. He has red eyes, just like Vampires do, and he is bullied by the other kids for it. One day he meets Setz, a genuine Vampire of a Noble clan who is the only one that doesn't call him a monster or bully him. Eventually they become friends, but when Lark finds out he may have to return to the orphanage, Setz decides he does not want to lose his friend, so he invites him to his home... The world of the Vampires.

Another webtoon i grew up with as a teen. It isn’t my all time fav, but i still quite enjoyed it enough to reread it a few times. Must be the blond mc that reminded me of Rood xd. Or the fact that he is super weak in a world of monsters. Or the reason he has those red eyes. (Such delicious angst amidst the comedy). Are those just a trope I enjoy? XD

Godly Bells (Complete)

Divine Bells - they choose their own masters and they determine the status, prestige, and influence of the countries their masters rule. The presence or lack of these Bells also has great consequence in the lives of each country's royalty. In particular, the personal and political futures of King Hong-Ryeong seem doomed without a Bell, but at equally great peril if he obtains one. But are the Divine Bells simple magical charms, deities of great powers, or something else altogether? And when the owner of three of the eight existing Divine Bells dies, leaving them to choose new owners, where will the resulting turmoil lead?

Another blond mc i grew up with as a teen and reread a few time. And another ’king’ who is ’weak’. It’s in a fantasy world, where divine ’bells’ give each king (and thus each country) power. The mc country hasn’t been chosen by any bells for years, so quite look down upon. Until three bells at least or smthg choose the mc. And then they become people, with their own agenda. The mc didn’t want the attention but well can’t convince the bells to drop him xd. Which is why i loved this story. Once again, can’t escape fate even when you didn’t want it ~

Aegis Orta (Complete)

Val is an ordinary high school student who dedicates his life to God. His peaceful days however have to end when he learns about who he really is..

Very much in the same vibe of Godly Bells and Crepuscule, only I discovered it later and thus have less memories of it (bcs reread it less). It’s another blond character with red eyes that get ’fate’ thrown at its face ~ well. Demon powers. Same.

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I’m not gonna put Mxtx’s works here (Heaven Official Blessing, Mo Dao Zu Shi, Scum Villain Self Saving System), but they’re great too. If you love comedy and tragedy and don’t mind BL too much. Go for it. I usually don’t enjoy romance that much but it didn’t bother me with those works, bcs it’s presented so naturally into the story rather than harassing us every second. Phantom Paradise is also a BL, although entirely different vibe. It’s what would happen with matriarchat instead of patriarchat but all the toxicity remain - only gender roles are reversed. As for why I enjoyed it so much... I guess I am still somewhat sensitive to fan service ? XD

I also feel like I should mention UnderPrin, even if it didn’t make it all the way to my favs, kind of similar vibe to Catharsis and Aegis Orta. I’ll also mention Makai Ouji: Devils and Realist which is a manga but another blond character in the same vibe of the earlier ones, who refuse his own power XD. And Pandora Hearts because its my favorite manga ever. I even prefer it to Black Haze (but I think someone who liked one would also like the other?).

[eryhenituse]

Part 2

“Human! Can I go with Solitas to see what he’s doing?”

Cale looked at the excited small dragon and nodded.

“Just be careful and don’t blow anything up.”

Lloyd and Javier looked at Cale with incredulity and Cale just shrugged.

“He’s strong.”

After Raon and Solitas were gone, Cale turned to Lloyd.

“Hey, let’s talk.”

Lloyd brought him to the living room and they chatted. About Korea in Korean and Javier just stood by the door listening to that strange language they were using.

“So how do you end up here?” Cale asked.

“I fell asleep one night and poof! I woke up in the middle of the road, with my face frozen stiff.” Lloyd started and Cale rises his eyebrows.

“Same. But I woke up in a lavish room with the softest bed.”

“Lucky. And I got this system thingy. It just keeps mocking me every chance it gets but thanks to that, I got a cheat system where I can power up my skills and build all sort of buildings.”

“You build? You don’t have any bad guys to fight against?” Cale asked, decided not to ask about that system thingy.

“I did fought a few. I got here about two years ago and I managed to change a few of the bad scenarios that I know.”

“How did you know about that?”

“I read about this world in a novel.”

Cale’s eyes widened. “I read about my world in a novel too. And we are in the middle of war with a bastard called White Star.”

“Sounds like a bastard. How’s Korea?”

“Oh. The world was ruined. Before I transmigrated, monsters appeared all over the world and apocalypse began.”

“What!? My world didn’t have that.”

“I guess you are from a different universe.”

Lloyd nodded at that, though he had many questions, he kept it to himself. He could tell that Cale had been through so much so he didn’t want him to be reminded of that.

“Are you happy now?” Cale asked and Lloyd just went quiet for a few seconds. His face expressionless but his eyes showed a deep sad, regret and a flicker of hope.

“No.. at least not yet. I just want to be a rich noble son and roll around doing nothing.”

“Same. I just want to be a rich slacker.”

Before they could continue their conversation, a huge explosion occurred and they jumped to their feet.

“Raon!”

“Solitas!”